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Man what a ride...

So I started T and quit 4 days in lol

I know, I know, I feel so bad, there's people out there so in need of that treatment (I was one) and now my gel is just gonna rot in my bathroom cupboard indefinitely.

I wrote about it a bit a few days ago on my other blog, but I've settled down a bit since and now I feel a bit more optimistic. Something about starting HRT and the anxiety associated with dealing with the social and physical changes set off my dormant OCD symptoms. Intrusive thoughts included! The thing that ruined my life in high school that I never got help for! But...it's treatable and I'm in a good spot to get it treated now so I'm gonna heckin' do that.

I don't know if HRT will be on the table again for me, this has awoken a whole bunch of insecurities I didn't know I had, like my terrible hairline! Which I'm super paranoid about now. But also I'm grieving the things I was looking forward to which sucks, but I think with a bit of hard work I can supplement it all even with estrogen coursing through my veins. Sometimes its not as simple as rubbing some gel on your stomach every day. Sometimes you need to treat your ADHD, have a huge invasive operation, discover what you really want from life, get a drivers license and then go to the gym.

Still planning on top surgery (the aforementioned huge invasive operation), I think it being a one and done deal that no one I know IRL needs to know about, something I already know what looks like on myself (binders) and something I can to some extent influence the results of. It's probably more likely to be helpful for me. That all and I have a whole year to know for sure.

Anyway, that's where I'm at now, thought my story so far might be helpful so I decided to update you all here, even if it's a bit anxiety inducing. All the best to you all!

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Kali Uchis || Sunshine & Rain MV

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for 10 people! Get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

My son (cat).

Morning coffee. Instant though, I like it the most. I even have a proper coffee machine but nothing beats some fancy instant coffee.

Buying second hand clothes with a vibe.

Beating hard bosses in video games.

When the mental health stars align (rare) and I have some confidence for the day.

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Henry of Skalitz || Kingdom Come Deliverance II

Wanted to paint my current playthrough Henry, early on in the game, very humble lad just trying to survive 💛

Spent all his money on a haircut but it looks like it just grew out from being on the road 😂

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Due to wanting to focus on things like Patreon and selling prints for the indefinite future I won't be starting any new commissions...

But! If you have requests feel free to send them through my ask box!

No guarantees at all but if something tickles my brain I'll draw it~⭐

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Tumblr Tuesday: Hansry is Canon!

One of the best moments in fandom is when a ship you love to ship becomes a canonical ship. And, of course, there's nothing Tumblr likes more than a bickering lord and his underling. This Tumblr Tuesday is dedicated to Henry of Skalitz and Hans Capon of Pirkstein, who have been canonized as lovers in the recent release of Kingdom Come: Deliverance II. Thank you to all the artists who are outdoing themselves with pictorial celebrations of that fact.

@spectremarvel:

@madeleinefjall:

@ionomycin:

@theesteppenwolf:

@maia-beans:

@martyfive:

@orientalld:

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@sgkg:

@altorinaart:

@melonart:

@onionchess:

@grmka:

@rebvilla:

@fiveocock:

@pan-da-hero:

@lumpypotato22:

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So, I made my Patreon 18+ since I have a few NSFW pieces in the works.

I'm so pumped to start posting smut there (*＾3＾)/～☆

And for just $5(AUD) you can witness the beginning of this era of Ziggy art...

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Henry and Hans || Kingdom Come Deliverance

𝔄𝔪𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔦𝔷𝔞𝔟𝔦𝔱𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔲𝔦𝔫𝔢🩸⚔️

Buy a print

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If anyone wants to buy a print, this is on my INPRNT ✨

The support would mean a lot!

Hans and Henry || Kingdom Come Deliverance

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Hans and Henry || Kingdom Come Deliverance

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quickly popping in to say I saw your art in passing and wanted to say you have an absolutely gorgeous artstyle! hope you have a lovely day!

Thank you! You have a lovely day too ~ ✨

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Decided to expand to Vgen and try it out for commissions. So if you would prefer to commission me through there rather than Artistree that is now an option!

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Tintin and Snowy || The Adventures of Tintin

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Larry Bird || NBA

I like how crispy my brush strokes look in Sai 2, but there is a lot of drawbacks...

Still, it runs way better than CSP does on my PC but man I miss Photoshop ;-;

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Finally have a new art-related goal because the thought of my Ipad dying before I can replace it has been weighing on me...

No urgency whatsoever, just if you want to throw a few dollars my way it would be greatly appreciated ✨

Additionally, I want this to motivate me to actually make art for y'all and give me something to work towards that isn't just work and survival oriented.

I put art to the side because of how tiring my job is this year and that's pretty upsetting. It really has become hard to sit down and enjoy media with a million real life things prodding at my mind constantly.

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Julian || Trailer Park Boys

about to go on a 3 week break from work (and thus also a break from getting paid) so consider this my advertising for my commissions <3

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gotta love the mics