student-journ

[student-journ]

I Hate the World I Live In

By: SJ

An attempted poetry with no measure and unclear lines. Not really my best work.

I hate the world I live in

So I chose to live in a fantasy,

8 billion people, and I am not one of the blessed

I decide to dream, and what do I see?

A jolly and perfect girl, not sad, not furious, not depressed.

Because in this little dreamland,

All my troubles have gone astray,

I feel the breeze in my hair, or the warm embrace of the sand,

An ever-so-perfect fantasy, a once upon a time far, faraway

I hate the world I live in

I despise the way I just slouch lazily on my bed,

The way I would mindlessly scroll through my phone all day and night,

Drowning in frustration and dread,

Like I was stuck in a cage, faced with a battle I cannot fight.

At the end of the day, am I able to make a difference?

Would a single post in my lonely account spark the minds of my fellows?

Knowing I am unheard, disappointment buried in belligerence.

I am but a humble writer, crumbling in my silent bellows.

I hate the world I live in.

I could be a ballerina, dancing in a play,

I could be a knight, fighting for mankind,

I could be a pianist, a talented protege,

I could be a scholar, a clever mastermind.

All I could be lives in a dream.

A world of fantasy I specially built.

Abandon the world robbed of its shine and gleam.

Because I hate the world I live in, a world of darkness and sin.

[student-journ]

21st of May

By: SJ

A poem made today for someone years ago.

Two days after I broke your heart, I vividly remember.

21st of May, my first gloomy summer.

The rain began to pitter-patter.

I curled in my bed as the sky grew darker.

A few months back at times like this,

Words of comfort I could only reminisce.

"I will gladly drop anything I need to drop just to listen to you."

And the classic: "I love you, I really really do."

You were perfect, but a stranger I doubted was true,

'Cause our love was all lies, a lie you were also into.

So what right did you have to slander me to your peers?

Knowing you were also at fault for my frustrated tears.

You thought I enjoyed changing my entire being for you?

Just to make you love me more, anything I will do.

Maybe love turned to obsession,

And that obsession turned to depression.

'Cause on the 21st of May you left me.

Made me realize I was never meant to be loved and free.

[student-journ]

NLC is the New Vacation Break

By: SJ

An opinion article I made a year ago for a used-to-be trending topic in the Philippines

With the end of SY 2022-2023 approaching us nearer, many students and teachers are anticipating to finally earn their well-deserved rest after a tiring year. But will they achieve it now that the Department of Education (DepEd) is set to implement the National Learning Camp (NLC) after the school year? As stated in the DepEd memorandum, the NLC is comprised of Enrichment and Intervention activities for Grades 7 and 8 Learners for three weeks as well as Remediation Activities for K to 12 Learners for five weeks, which will start on July 24 and end on August 25.

During this COVID-19 pandemic, learning loss and gap were triggered due to the difficulties in learning during online classes where learners struggled to understand lessons, and received limited discussions from teachers who were sometimes unavailable because of poor internet connection or busy schedule. And the NLCs main goal is to address it.

Many were baffled about this, including me. Because all throughout the year I always hear my seatmate say, "I hope it's vacation already. I'm sure that each and every one of us have said those too at some point–the point where we are stressed and tired. The thoughts and excitement of finally being able to sleep soundly and have time for our family and friends were shattered by the entrance of the NLC. The sounds of frustration echoing through the corridor of hope creates a symphony reflecting that our tears and sweat may never come to an end.

But what puzzles me the most is that it's voluntary, meaning only those willing to join will be part of the camp. I, for one, think that the concept of being voluntary is not going to be much effective if we look at the main goal of this camp. Say, a learner is not very adept in mathematics and reading and he chose not to join, then the learning loss of that learner is not fixed. His inability to meet his learning competency and skills will continue because of the lack of guidance during the pandemic, and not being focused on during the face-to-face (F2F) classes, resulting in not a single bit of improvement.

In all honesty, I don't think it is a matter of being voluntary or mandatory, because I believe the learning loss and learning gap cannot be solved by camps and programs alone. But rather the cooperation and determination of learners is needed. The programs implemented by the DepEd serve only as a guide and support in the goal of solving the learning problems, because at the end of the day, it is up to the learners if they want to learn & improve not only for themselves but also for our country.

In addition to this, if the learner is lazy and will not do their best in the camp, then the hard work of the teachers and efforts of the DepEd to fix the learning loss and learning gap will be all for nothing.

I am not saying that the NLC is useless and should not be implemented. I only believe that it is not fully effective. I am sure there will be improvements in our learning loss and learning gap problem but the NLC may not be sufficient enough to completely solve it.

Furthermore, the question of what caused this learning loss should be the main focus and not how to completely solve it. Because if we manage to somehow resolve the learning loss and learning gap, and the cause still continues, then there is a high chance that the problems with our learning will surface again, thus the efforts and hardwork exerted to this matter will go to waste.

But what exactly is the root of it all? It started in the pandemic, but didn't you notice that even now during F2F, the concerns for learning loss and learning gap are still there? It's a new mode of learning is it not? It no longer has the internet connection problem, and teachers are already here for proper guidance. So how come?

I believe it is caused not only by the COVID-19 pandemic but also some problems with the work schedule of the teacher. One teacher holds many classes with many students, therefore it is difficult to actually pay attention and focus on the learners that really need their help. Moreover, teachers are often sent to seminars, programs, camps, and training that has nothing to do with their teaching. An example are the orientations about sport competitions that could go on for days. How many classes do they miss in those days? And when the teacher comes back, they will have to rush the lessons to keep up, resulting in faulty learning that most learners will not understand.

The teachers are not the only ones with busy schedules. Even the learners who represent the schools in various contests that go on weekday practices and miss their classes for days or even weeks. Think of it as a teacher and learner, interacting in class without a thorough understanding of the lesson.

I believe that the burden and work of the teachers should be lessened and be more focused on teaching and not extracurricular activities. By doing this, they will have the ability to help learners who missed lessons and those who have difficulty in learning.

Not to mention, the participants of the NLC will not be getting their end of school year break since their time will be spent in the camp. Which is why I am suggesting that maybe it is better to lessen the duration of the program instead of it covering the entire month break. It is also possible to include breaks during the three to five weeks camp to grant even a small bit of the vacation everyone is anticipating.

Nevertheless, l extend my gratitude to the DepEd for their efforts in solving the learning loss and learning gap that have experienced during this COVID-19 pandemic. Once again a little reminder to my fellow learners out there that Dr. Jose Rizal believes that we are the hope of this nation. And if learning and improvement is what it takes, then let's do it for our motherland.

[student-journ]

Titleless

By: SJ

A poem I made a year ago for a guy in my class. I don’t like him anymore but I think it’s worth posting.

It is no wonder that your name sounds like "rare",

Perfect smile, kissable lips, fluffy hair,

Bold personality, and deep dark eyes,

I gaze into your visage with heavy sighs.

I remember that you couldn't see me,

In the midst of a crowd, I wished to flee,

But with you among them, I struggled with difficulty,

As if invisible chains had bound me.

But it wasn't your beauty that captured me,

It was your unique mind,

Your hearty laugh, the way your eyes trace those you see,

And your interesting and complicated personality.

First I had doubts,

Liking someone has always been hard to pronounce,

However, I became curious about you and sighed,

You were so much more than what meets the eye.

You look at me and I look at you,

Those funny eyebrow gestures and eyes we exchange amid class,

I thank you for being my friend,

Even if you don’t see me as one.

Ask me, what truly hurts the most?

Is that you’ll never truly understand how much you amaze me.

It's because you were perfection and I was not.

You were grace, and I was not.

Though you may not know who I am,

In my mind you ran and ran,

Tirelessly your energy filled the room,

But I am aware of how you are.

How nonchalant,

How indifferent,

How uninterested,

So I will not push you further.

Continue to light up people’s worlds,

Never stop smiling no matter what problems emerge,

Be kind, be understanding,

And know that I’m far away, admiring.

[student-journ]

The Ugly Playwright

by: SJ

A small POV I made a couple months back about a character, Eleanor Kirsi, who is inspired by the Phantom of the Opera.

Those women in books, stories, plays…why can't I be them? Blue eyes, brown hair, and a perfect smile. Whose talents are completely unmatched. Praises and adornment plagued them endlessly. Even if they were writing a simple passage, I won't doubt if they received a medal for it.

It was as if talent came along with the beauty they hold. Or is the world just unfair to me? I've written countless plays and powerful arias. Noblemen and Royals come from far and wide to watch them. But I was never recognized.

I gaze upon my visage in the mirror before me. And I see a hideous monster. I was not blessed with a beautiful face nor a beautiful body. I hate the way I look. And for that, I remained a writer in the dark. I would rather have my plays prosper while I stay at the bottom of society, than be a laughingstock. People nowadays will not believe a truly gifted child if they did not possess a daring beauty.

My father abandoned me in an Opera House where my mother worked. I slept below the stage where I received no interaction with the audience. There were only a few people who were not afraid of my monstrous appearance: my mother, and an old playwright.

The old playwright was Mr. White. He was a kind man who used to let me read his plays and poems. He encouraged me to write because my face wouldn't be presentable as a performer. It hurt me to hear that but I knew it was the truth. If I wanted a future, I have to go the other way. If you aren't a beauty, you have nowhere to go. I noticed that he does not seem to write songs for the opera, so I studied to make them in hopes of writing a complete play for him. The samples from my mother were enough to teach me. And when I finally finished my first aria, he died of old age.

Without someone to protect my stay at the theater, I ran away to live in the borders of the kingdom, where war and suffering dwells. It was where I belonged.

I would sing to my heart's content while shouts of knights boomed in the background. I was lucky that there was a tiny little house that was abandoned, presumably because the owners have been killed by the Marauders.

Anguish filled me for the years I've stayed in the slums of the hinterlands. I released my first play, Delilah's Quill when I was 16 years old. I casually sent it to the opera house and signed it under "Kirsten Elie" as the author. They immediately released it in order to find the author, but I was not there to watch it. If they were to know that it was me, heh, I dare not go deeper into that matter, I'm sure you already know.

I proceeded to hate my appearance for years because the women in my plays were far from me. They were of high status and had romance waiting for them. Meanwhile I endured the hardships of surviving alone.

Five years after Delilah's Quill, Kirsten's fame grew. I would see papers everyday about the new story I wrote. I was lucky that the house respected my privacy. Whenever I would leave a story in their door, I'd see a bag of money waiting for me. In it was a letter stating how thankful they were because through me, the opera house reached new heights. But that did not make me happy. Rather, I fell into a great depression knowing that no matter how hard I work, the legacy of Kirsten Elie will never fall under Eleanor Kirsi. Because she is a respectable woman, and I am just a scum of Earth.