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sungchansdimple · 12 days ago

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Last Train (Unfinished)

Chapters: 1,2,3

Sungchan x Fem Reader

Strangers to Lovers Based off a request

Plot: You meet a mystery artist late at night when you both miss the last train home.

Warnings: Some angst and high tension scenarios, no full smut scenes but it gets close.

Chapter 1

The lights of the club are practically blinding you; the music louder than you’d like. Clubs had never been your thing, but your best friend dragged you here occasionally, so he didn’t have to go alone. You down another drink he buys you and pull out your phone to check the time. “Shotaro! It’s getting late I don’t wanna miss the train!” You shout at your friend over the music. He lives only a block away from the club and you would normally crash at his place, but you have family visiting tomorrow that you need to clean your apartment for. Your friend frowns and hugs you tightly, the flowy fabric of his sparkly top brushing against the bit of exposed skin your crop top shows. He yells in your ear “text me like every two minutes until you’re home and safe, okay?!” You laugh as he yells into your ear and nod. “I will! You get home safe too!” With that, you start running for the last train.

The last train had left almost ten minutes ago now. You realize this as you arrive at the station and check the time; you had grossly underestimated the walk time from the club to the station. Letting out a sigh, you sit on the bench and try to clear your head. A taxi or uber now would be so expensive and Taro was too drunk to drive you. You press your face into your hands as the effect of the alcohol starts to wear off and you become much more aware of your current predicament. You hear a groan come from across the platform as footsteps slow from a run to a stop. A tall guy, around your age, maybe a little older. He’s wearing a long coat with a grey scarf that’s tightly wrapped around him. He checks the time on his wristwatch and sighs before walking towards the bench and noticing you. “You missed it too?” You say trying to lighten the mood as you realize you and this random guy were both stranded at nearly 1:30 in the morning. “He doesn’t say anything, just nods as he sits down on the bench leaving a generous amount of space between the two of you. You can sense his frustration and decide it’s probably best to not try and spark conversation with him again. You pull out your phone and send a text to your other friend knowing it’s finals season for him and he’s likely fast asleep right now.

“Eunseok pls be awake im stuck at the train station with a random guy”

You sigh as you send the message knowing he’s not going to see your message until morning, or at least later that morning. The sound of a pencil on paper snaps you out of your thoughts. Turning to see the mysterious boy beside you sketching in a small book. The sketch is incredibly realistic, a portrait of someone. “That’s amazing.” You say quietly as you watch him sketch. “Thanks.” He says quietly. Knowing you’re going to be here for a while, you decide to at least try and start a conversation. “Are you an artist?” You ask him as you continue to watch him effortlessly sketch a mystery person. He nods quietly. “Designer... kind of.” He says as he closes the book and stands up. “Do you... have a way home?” He says hesitantly. You shake your head looking embarrassed. “My friend is driving me home, if you live close, I could ask if he’ll drive you to your place or at least near it.” You hesitate; you had no idea who this guy was and there was a chance he did this nightly, luring girls into his friend's car to do God knows what. “I’m okay, thank you though.” You say as you wrap your jacket tighter around you. He sighs. “I’m not some creep, you don’t have to come with me, but your only other option is spending the rest of the night here in a sketchy train station alone.” He says as he looks down at you. You know he’s right, but you also knew the dangers of getting in a random guy's car. “I’m okay, really. I appreciate it though.” You say with a half-smile. He nods and ducks his head down as he walks off. “I hope you get home safely.” He says before exiting the station.

A few minutes pass and you let out a frustrated groan knowing you have to call a taxi. As you take your phone out of your pocket you hear someone shouting from the platform. “Hello! Is there a girl in here?” You stand up quickly ready to run out of the station if needed. “You notice a woman walking into the station. “The meter is running let’s go, the guy gave me sixty bucks.” You furrow your brows in confusion. “I think you have the wrong person.” You say as you look at the woman. She shakes her head. “The tall guy in the scarf, gave me sixty bucks and said to take the girl in the station home. Unless there’s another girl in here, I have the right person.” You stare at her in shock before quickly grabbing your bag off the bench and jogging up to her. “Oh... thank you.” The woman laughs as you climb into the taxi. “Don’t thank me thank your boyfriend.” She says as she starts the car. “Where are we headed?” She asks. You give her your address and pull your phone out immediately texting Shotaro. “Getting home safely but i have the craziest story to tell u tmrw” You lean forward slightly to talk to the driver. “Did the guy give you any contact information?” She hums in thought before looking on a device attached to the car. “The order was under the name Sungchan Jung.” She says as she starts driving.

You open your phone and type “Sungchan Jung” into your notes before turning off the screen and looking out the window as the taxi takes you home.

Chapter 2

“No, that is so not him! I told you he was cute!” You throw a gummy worm at your cousin Anton as you both look for the mystery boy from the train station on social media. “What this guy seemed your type?” He says while showing you the profile of an older businessman that lives in Detroit. “I know we haven’t seen each other in a while but you know that is so not my type.” You tell him as you sink into the couch throwing your phone onto the pillow below you. Anton puts his phone down and looks at you. “The dude might just not have social media? Maybe he has an art account or something? Online portfolio?” You shoot up from the couch. “You’re a genius!” You shout as you run to your room to grab your laptop. Moments later you’re both hunched over the laptop on the floor searching for a graphic design portfolio that might belong to Sungchan Jung. Anton stops your fingers from scrolling on the trackpad. “Wait what’s that one?” He moves your hand away and clicks a website titled “Sungjungstudios” He carefully scrolls through the website reading the information posted. Clicking the “About Me” page, he scrolls to the bottom to reveal a small portrait.

“STOP! IT’S HIM!” You shout while slapping Anton’s hand off the trackpad and grabbing the laptop looking at the information. “It says he’s a 23-year-old recent graduate from design school. He lives around here.” You tell your cousin excitedly. “Contact him, what are you waiting for?” He says. You scoff and laugh at his suggestion. “Yeah, definitely not are you insane?” You say as you stare at the photo on the website. He’s faintly smiling without showing teeth, his bangs messily yet-perfectly placed. “Why did we spend-” Anton looks at the clock on the wall before responding. “Almost 45 minutes looking for him then...?” You shrug following his gaze to the clock, its nearing midnight, the movie you two had been watching ended almost an hour ago. “Just wanted to see if I could find him.” You say as you pack up the bags of candy from the coffee table. Anton shakes his head with a laugh as he starts collecting the soda cans and helps you tidy up. “You had me thinking I was helping you find your prince charming you know?” He says as he recycles the cans and helps you put chip clips on the unfinished bags of candy. “Yeah, well you know I’m not the type of person to just reach out to strangers.” You say before helping Anton set up the pull-out mattress for the night.

Once you’ve finished your skincare and climbed into bed for the night, you scroll through Sungchans portfolio again. It’s full of beautiful mock-ups of campaign designs and business startups, a separate page for his sketches and paintings. Looking down at the “Contact Me” option for the millionth time, you decide to click it. The worst that could happen is he ignores you... right...? It prompts you to fill in your name and phone number before typing in a message. You fill in the boxes and scroll to the message option.

“Hey, I was the girl at the station!” Gross, delete that.

“You paid for my taxi yesterday.” No, he probably does that a lot.

“Hi!” What are you even doing?

You slam the laptop shut and shove your face into your pillow groaning in frustration. You turn the bedside lamp off and decide to call it a night, you’ll think of something to say tomorrow. Looking up at the ceiling you let out a breath and close your eyes ready for sleep.

No.

Suddenly the laptop is back in your lap opened to sungjungstudios, specifically the “Contact Me” page. You fill out the name and number boxes again before opening the message option. “Not sure if you remember me, but you paid for my taxi last night. I’ll buy you a coffee as a thanks if you’re interested :)" You press send before giving yourself the chance to overthink it and quickly close your laptop. Placing the laptop on the floor beside your bed you let out a breath. This was so unlike you.

The next morning arrives quickly; you hear Anton’s third alarm going off from the living room. Letting out a sigh and stretching your legs, you reach for your phone on the nightstand to see it’s only 8am. Your phone is flooded with messages from Shotaro and Eunseok in your group chat. You had sent them the portfolio website last night when Anton found it. They were talking about it in the group chat while you were asleep. Both of your friends “approved” of the portfolio and the boy which makes you laugh before scrolling through your notifications. You freeze up when you see a certain notification. “RE: SUNGJUNGSTUDIOS” You click the notification immediately wanting to see what he had said. The message was short:

“Hello! This is a strictly business contact, please refrain from contacting me here for personal matters. Thank you.

Sungchan Jung”

You stare at the screen with wide eyes feeling humiliated. You scroll to the bottom of the email noticing an attachment. It takes a moment to gather the courage to click it, afraid it’s just another passive aggressive message telling you to leave him alone. Once you click it, it takes you to the contacts app on your phone showing the name “Sungchan” and his phone number along with an option to add the contact to your phone or not. You press accept and it automatically adds him as a contact to your phone with a contact image of him, the same one from his website. So maybe he doesn’t hate you... Tapping the message icon, you send a quick message.

“Hi, it’s the girl from the train station. Is this Sungchan?”

He replies within mere seconds.

“Hi, this is Sungchan. Is the coffee offer still there?”

Chapter 3

Shotaro and Eunseok lay on your bed as you fix your hair for the tenth time that afternoon. “I promise you look fine.” Eunseok says as his head hangs over the side of your mattress. “You don’t get it; one half is flatter than the other.” You say with an eye roll. Shotaro laughs and gets up from the bed to look at you. “I promise you look great besides, having flat hair is better than being ten minutes late.” He says as he shows you his phone, the time now 3:40 when you were supposed to leave at 3:30. Your eyes widen, and you grab your phone and jacket. “Come on!” You shout at your friends before running to the door. You’re the first to get to Eunseok’s car and climb into the passenger seat. Shotaro gets into the back as you both wait for Eunseok to arrive. He’s always been the rational one out of the three of you, the designated driver, the one that makes sure to lock the door, turn out the lights, unplug your straightener, etc. Eunseok hands you his phone letting you pick the music as he starts the car. “Taro and I were placing bets on who would be the first to get a date this year and he owes me ten dollars now.” Eunseok says as he starts to drive. You look back at Shotaro in the back seat and lightly slap his knee. “Hey! You thought I wasn’t capable?” He smacks Eunseok’s shoulder and gives you an apologetic smile. “Just shy...” He says with a small shrug.

You arrive at the cafe only two minutes late, waving Eunseok and Shotaro off as you watch Shotaro climb to the passenger seat as the car drives off. The cafe is familiar; you and Anton had gone twice since he came to stay with you for the month. You pull your phone out and look at the contact photo of Sungchan hoping to recognize him at a table. It doesn’t take long to find a taller man in jeans and a button up shirt sketching on a napkin. Walking over to the table you wave politely. “Sungchan?” You say with a nervous smile. He nods and gestures for you to sit. “That’s me, how did you end up finding me?” He crumples up the napkin and puts it aside. “The taxi driver gave me your name.” You say as you notice the napkin. “What were you drawing?” You say as you reach for it. “Working on a website homepage for the place I'm interning at.” You open the thin paper and see multiple designs scribbled out of what appears to be a real estate companies' website. You nod as you look at the designs. “These are really cool, you’re super talented.” He looks down at the table as if he’s blushing which causes you to smile. It’s a little awkward but in a comfortable way. He looks up at you with a light pink dancing across his cheeks and nose. “Should we order?” He asks as he stands up and reaches for your hand to help you up. It’s your turn to blush now as you take his hand and stand from your chair.

“The matcha latte here is really good.” You say as you point to the menu above the counter. Sungchan nods and looks at the menu. “That’s my usual order here.” He says with a laugh. You smile up at him. “Mine too.” The barista walks up to the counter and asks if you’re ready to order as you walk forward reaching for your wallet. “Two matcha lattes.” Sungchan says as he taps his card. Your eyes widen and you step forward looking up at him. “I said I would pay.” You look between the counter and him, and he laughs and shakes his head. “You can next time.” He says with a hopeful smile which nearly makes your heart explode and color rise to your cheeks. “Deal.” You say as you both grab your drinks from the barista.

The two of you sit down at your table near the window and talk about work and your lives. The conversation flows naturally, and you can’t help but feel drawn to Sungchan’s contagious laughter. You mention that your cousin is staying with you for the month and ask about his family. He stutters and takes a sip of his drink. “Oh I- I don’t have any family.” He says and abruptly changes the subject. You don’t want to be insensitive on a first date, but you can’t help but wonder what happened between him and his family. Abandoning the topic and switching it to the music you’re currently interested in you notice he seems more relaxed. He tells you about a band he’s been into recently and to your surprise, he’s a big fan of pop girlies.

The afternoon turns to evening and before you know it, you two had been at the cafe for three hours. Sungchan is the first to notice the time and lets you know he needs to go home to work on the website design he had mentioned earlier. He offers you a hand up and hands you your coat from the back of your chair with a shy charming smile. “Are you driving home?” You ask him as you notice him grabbing his keys from his small pile of belongings on the table. “No, I try to take transit when I can.” He says as you both start walking out of the cafe. You hum in thought while walking through the door he opens for you. “I’d like to say I'm that environmentally cautious, but I just can’t drive.” You say with a light laugh. He starts walking down the street towards the train station with you. “Well, I didn’t know that, you definitely could’ve fooled me.” He says as he lightly nudges you with his elbow. You shake your head as you both laugh. “I could’ve if I was able to stop oversharing for two seconds.”

As the city gets dark you sit on the train beside Sungchan, the conversation has died down a little, but you enjoy watching Sungchan sketch in his little black book he has resting on his knees. You arrive at your stop and let him know you need to leave to which he stands up and offers to walk you to your apartment. You shake your head and gently squeeze his hand in appreciation. “No don’t worry about it, I don’t want you to have to wait for the next train. I’ll be okay.” He nods and his gaze falls to your lips which causes your cheeks to heat up. The train speaker announces the train doors will be closing. “Next time.” You say to Sungchan with a quiet laugh as you run off the train.

As the train leaves the station he shyly looks at you out the window waving sheepishly with a small smile.

#riize fanfic #riize #riize x reader #riize sungchan #sungchan fanfic #sungchan x reader #jung sungchan #shotaro #eunseok

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sungchansdimple · 28 days ago

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Not Friends

Chapters - 1-8 + Epilogue

Sungchan x Fem Reader College student, friends to lovers, slow burn

Author’s Note: Not proofread! I included some Aespa members in here as characters because I’m a huge MY. Winter’s character is kind of an antagonist but I love her so much please don’t get the wrong idea lol.

Plot: Your best friend sungchan gets a girlfriend after years of friendship and you can’t quite understand why it upsets you so much.

Warnings: Just some angst. One heavy make out scene but i don’t write smut.

WC: 11.3K

“I can pick u up tn at ur place”

You receive the message from your friend Anton referring to the usual game and drink night that your three friends participate in weekly. Anton offering isn’t unwelcome, but it is strange given the fact that your best friend Sungchan has been driving you to game night for as long as you can remember.

“thanks see u tn loser” You reply before putting your phone back in your bag. The time reads 2:12, you’ve been in class for an hour and 12 minutes, but it feels like you’ve been here for days. As your professor talks about theories you know you should be paying attention to, your mind is somewhere else. Opening the messages tab on your laptop you send Sungchan a message. “will u be there tn??”

Class ends hours later, and you start to head home with no reply from your best friend. The weather was your favourite today, a warm wind with cloudy skies. Fall was your favourite season for the weather but normally september classes were full of freshman that recently graduated making your transit home much more difficult. The bus was full today which meant you could wait thirty minutes for the next one or walk 25 minutes home. Letting out a quiet sigh and putting your headphones on, you decided to start walking.

The streets are busy; you notice the number of shoes passing you as you walk with your head down. One pair of shoes stops and walks in pace with you. Looking up in confusion you notice a semi-familiar face. “Wonbin right?” You say to the smiling boy now walking beside you. “That would be me.” He says with a friendly smile and nod. You had known of Wonbin’s existence for all of university so far. He had the same major as you and had been in many of your classes before. First semester you had done a group project, but it was cut short due to a different group member using AI for their work and causing you all to fail. The warm wind blows his long hair into his eyes as he shakes his head and laughs softly. “I usually don’t see you on my way home, are you heading somewhere special?” He asks with a hopeful tone. “Bus was too full of freshman today so I’m walking home. I do have game night with some friends tonight though.” his hopeful expression falters for a moment but is replaced with a small smile and nod. “Cool, is it like board games or drinking games?” He says as the two of you walk. “Oh, it's kinda like-” You’re cut off by your phone buzzing. “chan” lights up the screen. “Sorry Wonbin I should take this.” He opens his mouth to speak but before you can hear him you pick up the call and walk ahead.

“Why wouldn’t I be at game night? How else am I supposed to destroy you at poker?” His voice buzzes through the speaker and you laugh at his competitive remark. “Why’s Anton picking me up then?” You question him. The line goes quiet for a moment which is worrying considering Sungchan is a huge talker. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?” He sounds almost cheerful which slightly eases your worries but the vagueness of his words his unsettling. “Uh, yeah okay. See you.” With that, you arrive home.

At 7pm exactly, Anton arrives at your apartment. You don’t notice when he first arrives because he doesn’t bother calling. You notice he’s here only when you walk out of your room and see him talking with your roommate Giselle on the couch. “You didn’t tell me you were here.” You say and throw your key at him. “Hey!” He takes the key and pockets it though you know you’ll get it back before you need to use it again. “Ready?” He asks as he stands up and says goodbye to Giselle. “Yeah, I’m picking the music.” You say as you grab your bag and a six pack from the kitchen.

“So... Giselle...” You say as you connect your phone to his car speaker. “What about her?” He says trying to force nonchalance though his nose and cheeks are dusting pink. You smile to yourself knowingly. “Nothing...” You say as you look out the passenger window. The car ride is full of comfortable silence and occasional karaoke. You had known Anton since freshman year of high school and always enjoyed his company. The two of you were introverts and found peace in the silence between you both.

“We’re coming!” Shotaro yells from inside the apartment. You and Anton laugh knowing you had knocked on the door more times than necessary. Moments later Shotaro opens the door with his usual contagious smile. “Finally.” He says as he hugs you and Anton.

Shotaro is Sungchan’s roommate and lifelong friend. You had known about his existence for as long as you’d known Sungchan but you only got the chance to meet him after you started university. He had attended a dance school across the country for years and when he graduated him and Sungchan decided to move in together.

“Hey Taro.” You smile and hug him back noticing the smell of his usual cologne. “Where’s Chan?” You ask as you look for your best friend that’s usually at the door before you can even knock. “Couch.” He says and moves aside to let you, and Anton enter. You walk in with the six pack and a smile. Your smile falters for a moment when you walk into the apartment and see Sungchan on the couch with a girl leaning on him. His arm is around her and they’re too lost in conversation to even notice your arrival.

“Chan?” You say quietly.

“You’re here! This is my girlfriend.” He says beaming.

Oh.

Chapter 2

Shock is an understatement. To say you were just shocked right now would be similar to saying someone running for their life is just shaken up. Sungchan had never even showed interest in anyone before, you’ve known the boy for as long as you can remember and not once did he have an attainable crush or as much as call someone attractive. “Nice to meet you.” You settle on a short greeting with a kind smile after probably 40 seconds of staring at them in complete shock. “She smiles awkwardly and nods. “I’m Winter.” She says quietly as she curls closer into Sungchan. He... giggles?

You can’t quite wrap your head around what’s happening in front of you before Shotaro and Anton walk into the main room with cards and drinks. You snap out of it and turn around noticing the games. Instinctively you walk to Sungchan since he’s been your partner for game night since the weekly tradition started. He looks up at you with an awkward apologetic look and offers a small smile. “I’m with-” “He’s on my team.” Winter cuts him off with a smitten smile as she reaches for a drink. You nod quietly and turn to Anton and Shotaro who have always been a separate team. You look between both teams now realizing there really is no room for you tonight. Winter looks at you and covers her mouth to hide what appears to be a laugh. Is she really finding this entertaining? “Looks like you’re on your own team. Sungchan was saying you always win at Uno anyways so it shouldn’t be a problem. Right...?” She says with no bite in her tone but something about the words makes your jaw clench. Oh, that little...

“Dibs!” Anton runs over to you and takes your hand. “I want her on my team. Sorry Taro I actually want to win this week.” He says as he looks at Shotaro with a soft laugh. Shotaro shakes his head and sighs dramatically as if Anton ditching him broke his heart. “Ouch... I guess I’ll have to beat all of you then.” He says as he opens a drink. Anton squeezes your hand and gives you a sympathetic look. Why would he feel bad? You really couldn’t care less who cuddles up to Sungchan and plays with him on game night. Not bothered at all.

Poker ends quickly, Shotaro surprisingly winning by a landslide. Sungchan sighs as Shotaro collects the chips with a huge grin on his face. “Told you...” He says proudly as everyone laughs and packs up the cards. Anton takes out the Uno cards and you excuse yourself to use the washroom as they set up. As you wash up at the sink you notice how tired you look. Game night is usually energizing and exciting but something about tonight feels off. Maybe it's the fact that Sungchan and you haven’t had any interaction other than necessary ones involving card games. You sigh and dry your hands taking one last look in the mirror before opening the bathroom door. You immediately walk into what feels like a brick wall but smells like home and musk. “Sorry Chan I walked out too fast.” You take a step back and he smiles down at you sheepishly. “Do you like her?” He asks with a hopeful expression. Yeah, she’s only the most arrogant possessive person you’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting but she’s great. “She seems super sweet.” Your eyes wander to the floor, and you let out a breath before looking up at him with a smile. “I’m glad you finally found someone Chan.” The way his face lights up at your approval of his new partner almost makes you want to like her. He beams down at you and nods. “Really?” You laugh quietly and nod. “Really.” He nods back at you, smiling ear to ear he hugs you tightly. Something you’re used to by now. When he pulls back his smile turns sheepish again. “Gotta use the bathroom now...” Your eyes widen as you notice you’ve been blocking the door. “Tell me to move next time loser.” You laugh as you let him into the bathroom.

Sitting back down with the group you feel more at ease with the night. Anton and Shotaro are talking about a song Anton’s been working on and Winter’s on her phone quietly. Maybe if you got to know her, you’d like her, all you know is that she’s Sungchan’s girlfriend currently and she has an expensive taste in jewelry if her necklace and rings are anything to go by. “Winter, are you into fashion? Your style is really cute.” You say as you admire her effortless looking streetwear. “She looks down at her outfit then back at her phone and nods. “Thanks.” She says stiffly. You give her a moment more to answer the question, but her eyes are glued to her phone. Laughing awkwardly, you repeat yourself. “Are you into fashion?” She looks at you with a tight-lipped smile that looks beyond forced. “I guess.” She says as if responding to you was charity work and she was in physical pain “Uno time!” Sungchan says with a cheerful tone as he sits down next to Winter.

The game has been going on for ages by the time you have one card left. “Uno!” You say as you look down at your plus four card with a knowing grin. Sungchan grins at you mischievously as he puts down a card changing the color to green. Laughing at his attempt you put down your plus four and high five Anton. “Uno Uno!” You both celebrate by clinking your cans together. A quiet scoff interrupts your celebration. “You can’t end with a power card in Uno.” Winter says as she looks down at the deck. “You and Anton tilt your head in confusion; you’ve been playing Uno weekly forever and it never said that in the rules you all used. “You actually can...” Anton says quietly. “Nope. That wasn’t fair.” Winter insists. “Let’s look it up then hm?” You snap back as you grab your phone.

“Can you not...” You need to take a moment to compose yourself as you notice who had just said that to you. “Chan what? You know that’s not the rules?” He sighs “We’re just trying to have fun. Let’s not get petty.” Your expression drops, completely unsure of how to go about this now that your best friend and other half is essentially telling you to shut up so his girlfriend he’s known for all of one week can be right about something she most definitely is wrong about. “Let’s do karaoke!” Shotaro chimes in after sensing the tension. Karaoke was normally an after-midnight activity if you were all crashing there for the night and multiple drinks in. “Yeah, let’s do that it sounds more fun than cards.” Winter chimes in as she hangs off Sungchan and bats her eyes at him. “I...” You stutter over your words trying to come up with any realistic excuse to leave at this point. “Um... Giselle! She needs help with a project, and I said I’d help tonight. You guys have fun though.” You quickly get up from your spot beside Anton on the floor and head to the door.

“Wait-” You hear someone stand up and follow you to the door. “Sungchan I told Giselle-” “Let me drive you home.” You sigh as you realize he wasn’t drinking all night for a reason but knowing you have nothing to say to him right now. “I... I already called an Uber ahead of time.” He looks worried as he takes your scarf off the hook and wraps it around you. “You’re sure? You can cancel it and stay later. I’ll drive you home at whatever time.” Swallowing a lump in your throat, you nod.” “I’m sure.” There’s a moment of silence between the two of you. “Goodnight Sungchan.”

With that, you start your long dark walk home through the rainy streets.

Chapter 3

The walk home isn’t as terrible as you thought it would be. Other than the rain and cool winds, your own head seems to drown out the sounds of the cars and nightlife. Why would he date her? You had never really been too sure of his type before, but you would’ve bet money on him not going out with someone as arrogant as Winter. As you arrive at your apartment after a quick 20-minute walk full of overthinking you dig through your bag for your keys. Feeling packs of gum, elastics, cards, and everything but your apartment key, you start to panic.

Anton.

You never got your key back after you had thrown it at him earlier that day. Now locked out of your apartment, you text Giselle hoping she’s still awake. “I’m locked out girl pls help me.” The reply is almost immediate. “WDYM???” Followed by a spam of messages about how she’s spending the weekend at her friend Karina’s house. With a sigh you take one last look through your bag and sit on the floor outside your apartment. You feel heavy with exhaustion, both physical and emotional after game night. You don’t even realize you’re crying until you hear a tear hit your phone in your lap. The tears keep falling as you stare down at the apartment floor. Not even minutes later you smell a familiar musk and feel a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, hey it’s okay. Everything’s okay I brought your key. You’re okay. Cmon...” Leaning into Sungchan’s touch, you take the keys from him and shakily stand up. He puts his hands firmly yet gently on your shoulders and looks down at you. “Let’s get you to bed.” He smiles softly as he takes the keys from your hand and the wet scarf from your neck and unlocks your apartment.

Once you’ve washed your makeup off and put on something comfortable, you walk to your bedroom to find Sungchan sitting at the foot of your bed with a worried but patient expression. His big brown eyes slightly obscured by his overgrown bangs as he waits for you to join him. With a sigh, you sit on the bed next to him staring down at the floor. “Wanna talk about it?” He asks with utmost kindness and patience in his tone. You let out a quiet sigh knowing you wouldn’t ever tell him the entirety of your feelings right now. “I’m just... I was locked out, and tired, and-” You think for a moment of any excuse. “Drunk.” You say knowing he’d believe you since you’re a known lightweight. He lets out a warm soft laugh and nods. “You wanna sleep it off or keep talking?” He says barely above a whisper. “I’m gonna sleep it off.” You say quietly, your voice threatening to break. He gently squeezes your thigh as silent reassurance and stands up from the bed. The shift in weight in your mattress leaves you feeling colder than you’d ever felt in your bed. He walks towards the bedroom door before stopping and looking back at you getting comfortable. “Call me if you need anything. I mean anything.” He says quietly. “Sleep well.” With that, he turns the light off and leaves your apartment.

The next morning is normal, your morning iced coffee from the campus cafe and an early lecture. On your way to the bus, you notice someone crouched down on the sidewalk picking up papers and pencils from the ground. “Sorry-” “I’m so sorry.” “If possible, can you not step on that- or- never mind...” The boy says as the crowd of students tramples his things. “Wonbin?” You ask as you crouch down and help him collect the damp school supplies from the sidewalk. He notices you and his cheeks flush immediately as he offers a sheepish smile. “Oh... hi!” He says as he notices you picking up his things. Once everything’s gathered you both stand up and you hold off from handing him his papers given the fact he looks like he has no way of carrying all of it himself. “Did your bag break?” You ask as you notice his usual tote bag is torn down the side and bottom seam. “He nods as he looks at the bag with a frown. “I knew it was inevitable but still... I’ve had it since high school.” He says with a quiet but almost pained laugh. “How far away from here do you live?” You ask him with a sympathetic smile. His eyes widen and he stutters over his words. “Oh- I- about ten minutes- why...?” You laugh at his confusion and how flustered he appears to be. “I’ll carry these back with you.” You offer. His eyes light up and his cheeks dust pink again as he nods and nearly trips over his feet walking down the street. “Oh! Cool. Okay. Yeah, let’s go.” He says with a newfound pep in his step as he walks you away from campus. You can’t help but laugh at his eagerness as you jog to catch up to him.

“So yeah, that’s why I never trust crusty white dogs anymore.” He says after talking for the whole walk back to his place. You can’t deny how much you enjoy listening to him talk about nonsense and the way he looks back to steal glances at you. The way his face heats up when you laugh at his jokes or pick up something he didn’t notice he had dropped. “We’re here.” He says with a smile as he uses a card to unlock the door. The apartment is undeniably beautiful, and he appears to live alone. The walls are lined with expensive guitars and vinyl records. Much cooler than you had assumed the place would look. As you place the supplies down on his table he walks over to you with a crooked grin and pink cheeks. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.” He says cheerfully. You smile and nod back at him. “Of course. I owed you for stealing your notes all senior year.” You say with a laugh. He laughs and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, I remember I was accused of stealing your notes since we always had the same ones and you did better on the exams.” He says with a quiet chuckle. Your eyes widen in surprise, and you feel guilty immediately. “Why didn’t you snitch?!” You feel your phone buzz in your pocket as Wonbin thinks of an answer. “Well, I-” You notice the time and realize you’re supposed to meet Sungchan at the book shop cafe today. “-I kinda thought you were...” Smiling a quick goodbye to Wonbin you cut him off. “Hey, I forgot I was supposed to meet someone today.” His smile turns to a quiet nod and an awkward lip bite as you start to leave. “Oh! Okay... Bye!” He says as you wave goodbye and run out the door.

Running down the street, you arrive at the cafe a few minutes early. You’re already out of breath and decide to order before Sungchan can arrive. You wait at the usual table with your hot chocolate and a book you had found while waiting in line to order. You check your phone noticing he’s fifteen minutes late. Opening the messages app you send him a quick text. “Chan where r u??? Wednesday cafe catch up??” Minutes pass with no response and you worry something might have happened to him since he’s never missed a cafe catch up. Clicking “Taro Milk Tea” on your contact list, you wait for Shotaro to pick up. “Hey what’ up?” He says in his usual cheerful voice. “Is Sungchan okay?” You ask him with a hint of concern in your voice.

“Yeah, he’s in his room with Winter right now.”

“Why?”

Chapter 4

Warning: There is a heavy make out in this chapter but no smut. Enjoy!

“He- I thought.” You take a moment to gather your thoughts. “It’s Wednesday, we always meet on Wednesdays.” Shotaro sighs quietly from the other end of the line. “Stay right there, I'm on my way.” “Shotaro no-” “I’m already leaving.” He cuts you off before hanging up the call. You look at your phone as some ignorant part of you is still waiting for a response from your so-called best friend. You stare down at your cold hot chocolate and feel a pit in your stomach. Sungchan has been there for you for as long as you can remember and one girl took all of that from you in the span of one day. It’s not even like she’s that great, right? Sure, she’s pretty but that’s all she has going for her. Sungchan deserves someone that’s funny and kind. Someone that knows his order at the campus cafe and what terrible films he watches repeatedly. Sungchan deserves-

“Hey!” Shotaro runs into the coffee shop frazzled as he shakes his long coat off. “You smile politely as he sits down at the table in front of you. You and Shotaro weren’t necessarily close, the only time the two of you ever hung out alone was the odd day that he would drive you to meet Sungchan. “Hey.” You say quietly. He gets comfortable and hangs his coat on the back of his chair as he gives you a sympathetic look. His blonde bangs are messy given the fact he arrived here only ten minutes after you called him and his apartment is at least fifteen minutes away. “Look... I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset you.” You sigh at Shotaro’s damage control and stare down at your unfinished drink. “Have you ever considered that you might be... jealous...?” He asks and recoils as if he’s afraid you’ll hit him. You laugh and shake your head. “Shotaro respectfully, he’s not my type. He’s just my best friend and he didn’t really act like it today.” With that, Shotaro sighs and nods. “I’m not defending his behavior, what he did sucked, and you deserve better.” He takes a breath gathering his thought before speaking again. “I think there’s just some inner reflection that could happen...” He shakes his head rethinking his words. “Listen... I know Winter isn’t... ideal, but he likes her so as his friends we should just accept it and be happy for him, right?” He looks down at his hands. “He hasn’t been making time for anyone but her so don’t feel too down.” You look up at him and tilt your head. Shotaro continues. “I honestly don’t think he’s spoken to me since they started dating other than last night.” You sigh and nod. “So, it’s just us and Anton I guess.” He lets out a quiet laugh and nods in agreement. “I just... I don’t think it’s bothering me and Anton as much as it is you...”

Shotaro drove you to your apartment that evening and apologized on Sungchan’s behalf. His words plague your mind. Why would you be jealous? Sungchan isn’t your type, and you couldn’t care less who he dates. You flop down on the couch and look at your phone, a message from Sungchan two hours ago.

“He’s busy.”

Your blood boils. You’re typing without thinking now. “Enjoy your time with him, you’ll have much more of it from now on.” You’re fuming as you’re reading the message over again. Winter is insufferable, but Sungchan? Since when did he let people boss him around like this? To think Shotaro thought you were jealous? You don’t need Sungchan, there’s other boys that would be happy for your company, that wouldn’t stand you up or waste your time. You can think of one right now.

It’s nearing 9pm when you knock on the door. You had spent the last hour doing your makeup nicer than you had in years. Your hair purposely messy and your perfume the perfect alluring scent. The door opens and Wonbin’s eyes widen, his lips parting in shock as he tries to think of what to say. “H-hi...” He stutters out as he looks at you in confusion, though he can’t deny the way his eyes linger on your outfit a little too long. “I want you.” You say to him with need in your tone. “His jaw nearly hits the floor, and he looks around behind you as if assuming people are waiting in the corners with cameras. “Wh-what?” He looks at you with concern, his gaze checking over you to make sure you’re not intoxicated or injured. “Are you sure?” He asks hesitantly. You nod and look up at him with desire. “I’m sure Wonbin, please.” You say in a reassuring tone.

He steps aside letting you into his apartment before closing the door behind you. He awkwardly stands there waiting for you to make the first move, tugging quietly at the hem of his sleep pants. You look over him and move closer, your chests nearly flush against each other. Looking up at him, you speak in a breathy whisper. “What are you waiting for?” He seems conflicted though there’s no doubt of the want in his gaze as he stares down at your lips. “Are you sure you don’t wanna do this the right way...?” He stutters. “I- I could get you your usual iced coffee and we could have a cafe date.” The word cafe date echoes in your head. Yeah right. You lean up ghosting your lips over his. “I want this. You. Now.” He snaps, giving up all restraint and catches your lips in a heated kiss. His hands rest gently on your waist as he guides you to his bedroom without your lips parting for even a second. His touch is so gentle and kind, you wish he would be firmer. He lays you down on the bed and admires you for a moment. He smiles sheepishly before speaking in a slightly breathless tone. “You’re sure? Like 100%?” You nod as you look up at him with pure want. He nods one last time before leaning down and kissing you again, this time his hands sliding underneath your shirt to feel the soft skin of your waist and stomach. You pull him closer by his hair which causes him to let out a breathy whimper. You wish he wasn’t so delicate with his sounds. You wish he was rougher. His tongue grazes your bottom lip as he tries to deepen the kiss. You part your lips allowing him to feel inside your mouth. His breath is minty, his citrussy scent flooding your senses. You wish he smelled more musky, more familiar. His delicate hands gently travel up towards your chest as he reaches around to unclasp your bra. You wish his hands were rougher, bigger, more familiar.

You wish they were Sungchans.

“Is everything okay?” “Did I do something wrong?”

You notice Wonbin has now moved off you leaving a comfortable distance between you and him. You feel the warmth of tears streaming down your cheeks as you look at him. “I’m so sorry.” You don’t even know what to say to him. You don’t know how to tell him you used him, you pretended he was someone else. You only showed up tonight to distract yourself and try to make someone jealous that couldn’t care less. He stares at you in concern as he patiently waits for you to speak. “I shouldn’t have come here. You didn’t deserve this.” He frowns slightly but gently intertwines your fingers with his, letting you finish. “I was just jealous of someone else and confused. I used you as a distraction and I-” You feel your composure snap as your voice breaks.

“I’m in love.”

Chapter 5

You tell Wonbin everything. You explain to him that you and Sungchan have been best friends since grade school and how he had never showed interest in anyone romantically. You explained that girls would flirt with him all the time because he was tall and pretty and undeniably charming. You told him about how you used to hate those girls because you thought they were creepy but how you realized just now that it was jealousy. Wonbin sits quietly and listens intently to everything you say without judgement. His hand occasionally wiping a tear from your cheek but never interrupting you. Once you finally calmed down and went silent, he gave you an extra minute to make sure you had said everything you needed to say before speaking.

“Have you tried talking to him about his girlfriend...?” He waits a beat before speaking again. “If she’s as terrible as you say she, is he probably should know...” You sigh and shake your head quietly. “No, I only talked to Shotaro about it at the cafe earlier and he agreed with me.” Wonbin nods quietly. He looks defeated and tired, but his eyes remain kind, and he continues trying to offer support. “Maybe talk to Shotaro about how you’re feeling.” You immediately shake your head but before you can argue with him, he cuts you off calmly. “If Shotaro knows him as well as you say he does, he would probably have better advice than me.” You sigh knowing he’s right. “I’m just not that close with Shotaro and I don’t want him to be weirded out that I’m telling him I’m in love with his roommate.” Wonbin’s gaze falls to his hands as you mention your love for your best friend. Though, he still musters up a reply. “You said he came to the cafe without hesitation today, right?” You nod quietly. “Then he cares about you more than you think.” You think for a moment. Wonbin was probably right, Shotaro does care about you a lot more than you originally thought, possibly more than Sungchan does right now. You could spend more time with Shotaro and stay away from Sungchan and Winter, so you didn’t feel so terrible, and you weren’t interfering with their relationship. You nod in agreement with Wonbin’s point. “You’re right. I should talk to Shotaro more. Sungchan isn’t my only friend, and I can just hang out with other people.” Wonbin’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “I didn’t-” You hug him tightly. “I am so sorry for tonight, you deserve someone as great as you and I hope you can forgive me.” He seems confused at the sudden hug and gratefulness. “Of course, I get feelings are confusing and I don’t want you to feel too bad about this.” He says against your head as you hug him. You pull back with a sincere smile and climb out of his bed. “I think I’m gonna head home and do some thinking.” You say with a hint of determination. Wonbin nods and politely sees you out of his apartment with a kind wave and one last hug.

The next day you text Anton an update about everything that had happened after you met with Wonbin. You had texted him the day prior with your plan and ignored his multiple messages reading “WHY??” “Bad idea SUCH A BAD IDEA” “HELLO????” “ARE YOU ALREADY AT HIS PLACE???” Anton replies with a very basic I told you so though, it was more loving than out of spite. You ask him to meet you at the campus cafe to which he happily agrees. As you get ready, you notice a message from Sungchan. The message makes your stomach twist and your heart ache as you read it.”

“Hey, Taro told me about our cafe meet up, I didn’t mean to stand you up. I know I messed up and I don’t want you to feel like a low priority for me because you’re my best friend. A lot happened and I’d love to tell you if you have time to catch up?”

You turn off your read receipts and close your phone. Grabbing your keys and bag, you start your walk to the cafe. The fall weather is as frustrating as ever today, the wind blowing your hair into your lip gloss and the rain blowing at you under your umbrella. As you approach the cafe you put your umbrella in the bin and take your jacket off before meeting Anton at a table near the window nook. He smiles as he notices you and puts his phone in his bag. “So...” He says, knowing you have a lot to talk about. You tell him about all the events of the previous night to which he internally cringes in on himself for given the fact that Wonbin is his lab partner and friend. Once you’re finished, he lets the information sink in for a moment before speaking. “First off, you definitely owe Wonbin a coffee or something...” He takes a moment before speaking again as if making sure his words were the right choice. “Have you talked to Sungchan about this at all?” You scoff at his response, Sungchan didn’t deserve to know if he was gonna ditch you and his other friends for some random girl. “No? Why would I?” A familiar expression crosses Anton’s face at your response. One you know all too well from the last million times you had said something nonsensical to him. His eyebrows furrow slightly, and his teeth form an awkward attempt at a supportive smile as his shoulders raise slightly. “Um... why would he not...?” He asks hesitantly. Your jaw nearly hits the table. “Maybe because he got a girlfriend and completely ditched everyone he ever cared about? Anton are you blind?” He seems conflicted as he tries to think of a response. “Maybe just reach out to him...” He says as he anxiously bites his lip. He knows something you don’t. You lean forward slightly. “Anton...” His shoulders drop as he sighs. “What...?” He says in a defeated tone. “Why should I reach out to him? What do you know?” He lets out another exaggerated sigh and pulls his phone out of his bag to show you the lockscreen alone flooded with messages from “Burger Man.”

“like i get it but it just sucks so bad”

“she hates me doesn’t she?”

“anton pls talk to her for me i messed up so bad”

Oddly enough, the messages make you feel accomplished. The fact that he’s finally starting to feel regret for the way he ignored you and chose someone he’d known for a week over you. Anton notices your smile and puts the phone away. “I won’t tell you what to do, but maybe just talk to him before game night so it’s not awkward.” He says that with a straight face as if game night wasn’t awkward last week because of Sungchan and his girlfriend. “I’m not gonna be at game night this week.” You say as if it was obvious. “Anton looks completely lost. “Why not? It’s your day off?” You nod. “Yeah, it is but if he wants to bring Winter then the teams should be even anyways. He seems to have more fun playing by her game rules anyways.” Your nails start digging into your palms at the memory. Anton picks up on the tension and lets out a quiet sigh. “If that’s what you really think, but I love having you there.” He looks down at the table. “You’re one of my best friends and I wouldn’t want you skipping out on fun things over a boy. You shake your head and gently squeeze his hand on the table. “I didn’t have fun last week at all. Staying home is what I want, trust me.” Anton nods in understanding before handing you a menu. “Okay, I’m hungry let’s actually eat now.”

Chapter 6

Game night passes, a full week passes. It’s not that you’ve been having trouble ignoring Sungchan but it hasn’t been fun. He also isn’t making it easy.

You walk into the cafe, it’s Wednesday morning meaning you have a morning class, and you get an iced coffee as a treat for actually dragging yourself out of bed. Wonbin started meeting you for coffee since last week, you both enjoy each other’s company and since you had owed him a coffee anyways, he thought why not continue tagging along? Wonbin waves you over with a smile. His winter hat is pushing his bangs slightly into his eyes and his scarf is covering his chin, not leaving much to see but a pink nose from the cold. You both grab your coffees and head out towards your class. As you’re walking and telling Wonbin about your research paper you’re stopped by a familiar tall figure.

You look up at him in surprise and slight embarrassment. “Sungchan?” He looks like he had just come back from soccer practice and was probably freezing in the cold dry air wearing his shorts and cleats. He catches his breath quickly before talking, his tone almost unreadable. “You haven’t answered any of my messages?” His big eyes look down at you as they threaten to gloss over. He looks between you and Wonbin and speaks barely above a whisper as if he was afraid to ask. “Is this-” “Are you two together?” Wonbin looks just as shocked as you at the question, he laughs awkwardly and says he’ll catch up with you in class before leaving as fast as he can. You look up at Sungchan with slight irritation. “No Sungchan, we’re not together.” You sigh. “Why do you care?” His bottom lip quivers slightly, he presses his lips into a line to stop it before answering. “Because you’re my best friend?” He blinks down at you, his eyes full of confusion and pain. “We tell each other everything.” He sighs. “Last time I got a message from you, you were arguing with Winter over messages to my phone then I tried to apologize.” He lets out a shaky breath trying to gain composure. The air he exhales is visible in the cold. “I thought maybe we could talk it out and you were gonna communicate but next thing I know, Anton’s telling us on game night that you hooked up with Wonbin?” His words are spilling out as tears threaten to fall. “Who even is Wonbin? You’ve never mentioned him to me.” A single tear falls down his cheek as he finishes his train of thought. “Did I do something wrong? I just want us to be us again.” His words feel like a punch to the stomach, but the real blow is the way his round beautiful eyes are brimmed with tears threatening to spill over his pink cheeks. You notice the field has cleared and sigh quietly. “I...” Your voice breaks as you speak. “I have class Sungchan.” You turn and walk towards the building. Your own tears threatening to spill over.

The next few weeks are worse than you thought they would be. You knew you couldn’t just ignore him but the thought of seeing him up close in person and acting like you weren’t crumbling under his gaze and fighting every bone in your body to stay platonic with him sounded much worse. You would occasionally send him a text of something that happened that day or a picture of a dog you saw. His replies seemed more forced than normal, and you both knew things had changed between you. He was spending more time with his teammates, and you were spending more time with your classmates. You weren’t sure if game night was put on pause or if it had ended completely. They may have just found it easier with the three of them and Winter instead of an odd fifth person that didn’t quite fit into a team. It seemed like you were slowly losing your old friends, Shotaro had only reached out to send you a meme occasionally, and Anton was never much of an in-person guy, so you texted for the most part now.

Your exam season had come to an end, and you hadn’t seen Sungchan since that day on campus. You replay the exchange over and over again in your mind. The pain in his eyes and the tremble in his voice. You had still been dealing with the whirlwind of emotions from him ditching you for Winter and the fact that you had realized you were in love with your best friend. You were sure that staying away from him would make the feelings fade but you understand why people say distance makes the heart grow fonder. Every time you pass his neighborhood you start walking towards his apartment to knock on the door and tell him you were stupid, and you love him even if he doesn’t love you but you know you can’t do that out of respect for his relationship. You lie in bed reading your old messages and looking through his Instagram highlights with you in them. Your heart aches at the sight of the two of you happy and close to each other. Minutes later you hear a light knock on your bedroom door and call out to Giselle telling her she can come in.

She walks in and looks at you from the doorway. “Show me your phone, and don’t scroll or go to the home screen just show me.” You groan dramatically, knowing she’s onto you before flipping the phone revealing your messages with Sungchan from earlier that summer. She gives you a knowing but pitiful look before climbing into bed with you. “Girl you can’t do this to yourself, I’ve never seen you this way before.” You sigh and put your phone on the nightstand before looking up at the ceiling. “I messed up too bad I can’t fix it now.” She hums in response, signaling you to continue. “I’ve been distant and ignoring him since that day. It’s awkward every time I text him now, I ruined everything we had.” You clench your jaw and swallow a lump in your throat trying to keep it together. You hadn’t really spoken to anyone about this and saying it out loud is bringing up all kinds of emotions. She nods quietly in understanding. “What’s stopping you from meeting him somewhere and telling him you’re feeling this way?” You immediately shake your head and cover your face with your hands trying to block out the world. “I can’t just be like hey I know you have a girlfriend, and I basically ignored you for over a month but I’m in love with you.” Giselle rests her face on her hand as she lies down on her side looking at you. “He has a girlfriend?” You let out a sigh and nod. “Winter.” Giselle smacks your hand on your face causing you to smack her hand back and curse her out. “Girl, are you stupid!?” She looks down at you as if you were the epitome of ignorance. “They were like a two-week fling! They broke up so long ago!”

You never considered yourself a very religious person, but you swear for a moment that there is a God somewhere praying on your downfall.

“What...?” You say with your mouth hung open and your eyes nearly bugging out of your head. “Karina knows Winter and when I was at her house last week, she was telling me all about how Winter said her ex was way too invested in his girl best friend and it was a huge red flag.” She smacks you again. “She was obviously talking about him!” You take a moment to fully absorb this information and what this means for not only you, but Sungchan as well.

He had just broken up with his girlfriend and gone to you, who was supposed to be his best friend, for support to which you had brushed him off and gone to class then ignored him and ruined your entire relationship with him out of jealousy.

All while he was trying to deal with a breakup.

Chapter 7

Shorter chapter but after this we’ll be getting out of the angst.

You nearly trip over the curb running down the street. You don’t care how late it is all you care about right now is getting to sungchan. Explaining everything to him, apologizing, seeing him. You don’t bother calling ahead of time, knowing he’ll be home since the soccer season is over, and he isn’t a nightlife person. The wind is harsh as the winter air sends chills through you. Your thick scarf not doing much against the weather. The cars driving past and groups of people walking to the clubs don’t even register in your mind as the only thing you’re focused on right now is the fact that Sungchan was no longer with Winter and you two could be normal again. Arriving at the building, you don’t even bother with the elevator, sprinting up the stairs and approaching the door.

Before knocking you get the familiar ache in the pit of your stomach. The fear of not knowing how this exchange will go. On the way to his apartment, you hadn’t even considered the fact that maybe he didn’t want to see you. You hadn’t been the nicest to him the past month, you haven’t even asked to see or call him once. What if he’s asleep right now? What if he doesn’t even think about you anymore? You’re not even a passing thought in his life anymore. Just a memory-

The door opens and Shotaro’s eyes widen. “Why were you running? I heard the footsteps and thought we were about to be robbed?” He puts down the kitchen knife in his hand and rubs his eyes. His sleep shorts and tank top are wrinkled signifying he just woke up or got out of bed. “Shotaro I-” You don’t know what to say now that you’re here. You want to leave, tell him you’re sorry and you were drunk and confused. He steps aside without saying anything, inviting you in. You hesitantly take a step in and look around for Sungchan. His bedroom door is closed meaning he’s probably inside. Just one door between the two of you. One door and a month of silence and awkward tension. Shotaro looks at you and tilts his head. “I... came to see Sungchan.” Your voice is quiet and hesitant. You hug your arms around yourself tightly and stare down at the floor of their apartment. “I get it if he doesn’t want to see me though.” Shotaro presses his lips into a line while looking between you and Sungchan’s bedroom door. “He hasn’t been...” He thinks for a moment before continuing. “He’s a bit rough around the edges right now.” Shotaro says carefully. “In his room.” He then adds before walking into the kitchen.

You walk over to Sungchan’s door, your hand hovers over the wood. Letting out a shaky breath, you knock gently. A groan comes from the other side “Taro I said I’m busy!” You stand at the door not knowing how to respond. If you say something, would he even want to open the door? Or would he open it and yell at you about how bad of a friend you’ve been. Before you can think any further, you hear footsteps approaching quickly before the door opens.

You’re taken back by Sungchan’s appearance. His bangs more overgrown than usual, light stubble on his usually clean shaved chin. His usual bright brown fawn eyes now resemble more of a void with eyebags to compliment them. He looks down at you and his eyes widen, his mouth falling open as he stumbles over his words before just staring at you. “I... wanted to talk to you. To see you.” He looks conflicted as he looks past you, you’re assuming he’s mentally cursing out Shotaro for letting you in. He sighs quietly and walks back to sit on his bed. The room is dim as you enter and close the door behind you. You’ve been in this room countless times before, memorized the polaroids on the walls and the gaming setup. The unusual collection of burger shop menus in his bookcase where any normal person would have literature. Though, something’s different this time, it’s just a room. There’s no life, not laughter and snacks and sleepovers after finals. Your eyes brim with tears as you finally look at Sungchan. For such a tall boy, he looks so small right now, vulnerable and sad. “Sungchan-” Your voice breaks. “I’m so sorry.” You don’t know what else to say as you feel a warm tear run down your cheek and neck. He looks up at you from the bed and sighs in defeat. He stands up and pulls you into a tight hug, it’s clear he needed it more than you did by the way he presses his nose into the crown of your head and holds you impossibly close.

After a few minutes he’s ready to pull back and lets go of you pulling back and looking down at you. “What did I do?” He asks in such a small voice it feels like your heart is breaking just from the sound of it. You look down at his bedroom carpet in shame and guilt. “Sungchan you didn’t do anything. I hated Winter so much and I thought it was because she was arrogant. I was a terrible friend to you and it’s because it took you getting a girlfriend for me to realize I-” You stop yourself not wanting to say it out loud. Your head feels full, your ears almost ringing as if your brain is yelling at you not to say it. Sungchan takes your chin in his pointer finger and thumb to gently tilt your chin up. He’s clearly waiting for you to continue. Every bone in your body is telling you to make up a lie, say something else, anything else. But your heart is telling you that you can’t look into the eyes of this wonderful boy you’ve spent your whole life with and hurt him any longer. With a shaky breath, your gaze drops back to the floor. “I realized I don’t... I don’t want to be your friend.” You say quietly. He speaks in a small broken voice. “Why not? I don’t understand.” Your shoulders drop in defeat.

“Sungchan I don’t want to be just friends. I wanted more.”

Chapter 8

Sungchan’s expression drops, unreadable. Your heart sinks in uncertainty, too embarrassed and guilty to speak or explain yourself further. His lips form a tight line, and his gaze drops to the floor. Before you can try to take back what you had confessed, he speaks. “Don’t lie to me about this.” His voice is quiet. “Please.” You immediately shake your head and hold his wrist, more for your support than his. “I wouldn’t lie about this Chan, I promise.” His eyes fall back to the floor, he seems lost in thought. Every second that passes feels like eternity, the silence weighs on you like boulders crushing you further into the ground as time passes. He looks back up at you with a more serious look now, a small movement against his cheek as he thinks of what to say next. His habit of poking his tongue into the side of his cheek when he’s thinking was something you found endearing about him since childhood. He licks his lips before furrowing his eyebrows slightly and speaking with a shaky voice. “If this isn’t some stupid joke... If you really do mean this...” He takes a deep breath and blinks down at you, uncertainty etched all over his face as his voice wavers.

“Then can I kiss you...?”

You freeze completely, every muscle in your body tensing up after hearing the words fall from his lips. Apparently, the expression on your face was all too readable. You feel a familiar warmth on your cheek which gently tilts your face to look up at the patient brown eyes above you. You want to nod your head and cry tears of happiness, tell him yes and never make him feel unsure of how you feel ever again, but you need to hear him say it first. You need to be completely sure that this is real and you’re not asleep in your cold room dreaming that this is happening for what feels like the millionth time. “Wh- what did you say...?” You could swear you catch him laugh at your words, a quiet, almost inaudible laugh. A small amount of color returns to his face, or at least you believe it does with the way his eye smile lights up his appearance. He opens his hand fully now to cup your cheek as he looks down at you. “I want to kiss you right now. Can I kiss you?” He can’t fight back a small smile before speaking again. “Please?”

You frantically nod your head which causes him to laugh again, Carefree this time like he no longer feels the need to hide anything from you. His eyes sparkle down at you. “I just need to hear you say it.” You look down and laugh along with him before looking up and nodding again. “Yes, you can kiss me loser.” Without wasting a second, he leans down pulling you in as he cups both of your cheeks. It’s not as romantic or coordinated as you had imagined it. Mostly just the feeling of his teeth against your lips as he giggles and smiles against your mouth and caresses your cheeks with his thumbs. You laugh with him and speak against his lips. “Chan, are you kissing me or eating me?” He pulls back with a bright smile. “Shut up can a guy not be happy?” You roll your eyes, though there’s no actual attitude behind the gesture and Sungchan is sure of it. He takes your hand and leads you to his bed. Your heart races with nervousness. “Is this not a bit too soon?” You say with a soft laugh. He flops down on the bed beside you and puts his hand on his chest while tilting his head and knitting his brows together in mock offence. “You think I’m that shallow? We’re not gonna do anything, I just wanna talk about something with you.” You stay quiet letting him continue as you start to run your fingers through his grown-out hair.

“I wanna talk about the fact that you have a big crush on me and hated my ex.” You slap the side of his head, and he bursts out laughing, his eyes turning into crescent moons as he holds his stomach trying to compose himself. “Okay I shouldn’t have worded it like that, but please at least explain further.” Your shoulders drop and you groan from embarrassment. “I did explain it you idiot don’t make me elaborate.” You realize that you still weren’t sure of his feelings. Did he even like you in that way or was the kiss just a heat of the moment thing? “Chan, do you have feelings for me?” He thinks for a moment which is concerning. Now that you think about it you don’t really resemble Winter much at all so you’re probably not even his type. He pokes your cheek and offers a smile. “You think too much, I wouldn’t kiss you if I didn’t like you.” He laughs to himself. “One might even say I have a big crush on you too.” You feel the blush spread across your cheeks as you laugh at his words. “One might even say we have a big crush on each other.” You say with a wide grin. He nods and sits up moving face to face with you again. “One might even say I want to kiss you again.” He says smiling ear to ear with pink dusting across his nose and cheeks. You laugh at his flustered state and nod. “Hmmm. Well one might say I would like that.” He brings your lips to his by cupping your cheek and pulling you in. You both laugh into the kiss as falls back and pulls you onto him. Your shared laughter not stopping as he starts peppering kisses across your cheeks and nose.

“You guys have been really quiet, and I know it’s not my place but I-” Shotaro opens the door walking into the room before letting out a confused gasp and what sounds like a yell and a cheer combined. “Put a sock on the door knob next time you freaks!” He says before leaving and closing the door quickly. You look at Sungchan in shock, but he just grins up at you, not letting go of you for even a second.

“He’s gonna have to get used to it.” He says as he presses one last kiss to the tip of your nose. You move to lie down beside him and look up at his bedroom ceiling. “You know, he knew before I did.” You say as you reflect on the memory of Shotaro in the coffee shop. Sungchan laughs and starts mindlessly tracing patterns on your arm. “He knew before I did too.” He says like he’s finally putting the pieces together. “He basically told me Winter was a mistake from the first time he met her. He said she’s just a distraction.” He sighs. “I thought he was just being a jerk, but he knows me better than I know myself, so I should’ve just believed him. It would’ve saved me a month of ignoring you and feeling guilty.” You turn to look at him, confused by his last statement. “You were ignoring me? I was ignoring you.” He shakes his head. “No definitely not, I was ignoring you.” You shake your head in disbelief, “But-” “The phone works both ways.” He cuts you off. “Maybe we were both terrible people.” He says as he continues tracing shapes on your skin. “Maybe we were.” You agree with him.

The silence between you two is much more comfortable than earlier. You both know how tired the other is, emotionally and mentally. You’re looking up at the ceiling while Sungchan looks at you. The room is dim, nothing but the light Shotaro has on outside shining through the cracks of the door and the moon to light up the room. You’re both nearly asleep when Sungchan whispers. “So, what does this make us?” There’s a hint of uncertainty in his voice, so you turn to face him and gently move his bangs out of his eyes. “This makes us happy.” You say with a small sleepy smile. “We can talk more deeply after some sleep, okay?” He nods quietly and whispers back “You know where my clothes are if you don’t wanna sleep in your jeans.” You smile at the offer and roll out of bed heading to his dresser. Bunched up in the second drawer is a t-shirt you’d seen him wear countless times. You shoot him a look, and he takes the hint, rolling over and facing the wall for you to change. The shirt almost reaches your knees and hangs loosely around your shoulders. He doesn’t turn back around until he feels the mattress dip as you get in. You both smile at each other in the dim light of his bedroom.

“Goodnight.”

Epilogue

You nearly trip over Sungchan’s feet as you bring the drinks into the living room for game night. Joining Sungchan on the floor, he puts his arm around you pulling you in and kissing your cheek. Anton fake gags at the two of you and Shotaro smiles like a proud Mom. Sungchan starts shuffling the Uno cards and you hit his arm lightly. “We’re not all here yet, we can’t start.” He sighs dramatically. “I actually wanna win this time, one round without them...?”

“We’re here to take home the trophy for the third week in a row.” Giselle smiles as she walks into the apartment. “And we brought fancy drinks!” Winter says following closely behind Giselle and holding a fancy expensive looking bottle of alcohol. Sungchan groans and presses his face into his hands. “I swear they hide cards in their shirts or something.” Shotaro says as he hugs them hello and takes the bottle from Winter with a small bow of appreciation. You all settle into the tight space around the living room table on the floor as Shotaro begins pouring drinks and Sungchan hands out the cards. “Come join our team for the night, girls vs boys...?” Winter says as she smiles and extends her hand to you. Sungchan laughs. “Nice try you’re not stealing my gir-” “Okay!” You say with a wide grin as you take Winters hand and move to the other half of the table. Anton can’t stifle his laugh as Sungchans mouth drops open in shock and betrayal. Shotaro puts his hand on Sungchan’s shoulder and shakes his head. “Alright, looks like we’re all losing together Chan.” He says as he pulls Sungchan closer to him and Anton.

After three rounds (one tie) later, you, Winter, and Giselle win the majority and take home the plastic trophy for another week. You all end the night with karaoke and more drinks. Sungchan (being your ride home) sticking to his can of soda as he sings along to whatever they’re playing from the TV. You get an idea as you notice the way Anton looks at Giselle while she sings. He’s sitting on the floor in front of the couch with his head tilted up watching her sing in awe. Her voice is undeniably amazing but that’s not the reason for his admiration. “I wanna see a duet!” You say as you stand up and pull Anton up from the floor harshly. Both of you stumbling slightly from standing up quickly and the alcohol in your system. You hand Anton the remote and let him scroll through the songs on the karaoke channel, he lands on one the two of you had known since high school. “I don’t know this one very well.” You say as it starts, handing the mic to Giselle. Anton looks confused as he looks at you. “What? Yes, you do-" “I’m actually feeling a little too drunk.... Chan...?” You look at Sungchan on the couch as he shoots you a knowing look. He nods and stands up linking your arms together. “I can tell, let’s head out.” You both leave Anton and Giselle to sing as Winter and Shotaro cheer them on sleepily from the couch.

“Playing cupid huh?” Sungchan says as he helps you into the car. You smile at him and nod. “It’s about time someone did.” You say as he kisses your forehead and places his jacket over you. “I agree, they’re oblivious.” He adds before closing the door and walking over to the driver's seat. “Did Giselle need a ride home too?” He asks as he starts the car. “No, I took her key, so she has to go home with Anton since you guys don’t have room and I’m too drunk to let her in.” Sungchan laughs and shakes his head as he starts driving. “Evil but very well planned, I respect it.” He says with a smile. He gently places his hand on your thigh as he drives with a sheepish smile. “How drunk are you really?” You laugh at the question. “I’m actually fine, I was gonna ask you to go through the drive thru...” He looks at you with a hopeful expression. “Yeah, fine we can get burgers.” You say while rolling your eyes and letting out a soft laugh. He squeezes your thigh gently and his smile is now beaming. “Okay, only because you practically begged me for them.” He says as he switches lanes.

You arrive at your apartment with a bag of burgers and fries, your drinks already half empty from the ride home. Climbing onto the bed, Sungchan pulls you down with him and burries his face in your neck peppering gentle kisses on your skin. You laugh and pull him back by his hair. “We can kiss later I want food now.” You say as you smile at him with blush spreading across your cheeks. He quickly leans forward planting a quick kiss on your lips before nodding and pulling back. He takes the food out of the bag handing you your burger and tearing the bag open enough for the both of you to split the fries inside. Sungchan offers you the first bite of his burger, a habit he’s had since you first started dating a little over a month ago. You take a bite even though the two of you ordered the same thing. Sungchan smiles at you and swipes some of the sauce from the corner of your mouth with his thumb before bringing it to his lips and licking it off. “Ew! Why would you do that!” You say as you look at him with a dramatic disgusted expression. He laughs and eats a fry from the bag. “So, it’s completely fine when your tongue is in my mouth, but I can’t eat burger sauce from your lip?” He asks as he raises an eyebrow. You nod. “Exactly, now you’re getting it.” He throws a fry at you, and you throw one back.

At around 2am you both decide to sleep, Sungchan deciding to spend the night, though you both knew he was going to before he even offered to drive you home. You’re lying on your back as he has his arm thrown around your waist and his face nuzzled into your neck. You’re gently playing with his hair as you feel his warm familiar breath against the skin of your neck. Eventually you feel his breathing even out, he was always able to sleep anywhere you think to yourself. You close your eyes letting sleep take over as you relax fully into the mattress. Fully into Sungchan’s embrace. The two of you had been spending the past few weeks sleeping at each other’s apartments but the novelty never wore off. The comfort of having the person you care about the most in the world wrapped around you as you drift off to sleep.

“Goodnight, Chan.”

Thank you for reading this far. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing :)

I’ll take requests for long fics or oneshots until I get inspiration for another project.

#anton lee #riize #shotaro #sungchan #sungchan x reader #riize x reader #chapter 1 #riize fanfic #wonbin #fanfic

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