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i don't think you'll ever understand how much i love and care about you. i don't have the heart to say it because i'm scared i'll sound pushy and gross. but i mean it.
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fuckign hate myself i have to stop snacking every 5 minutes um yeah thats it thats the post lol
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i don't deserve to live.
#- sleepy puppy's yaps#actually borderline#actually mentally ill#actually bpd#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd#sewer slide#svicidal thoughts
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"bambi ur such a drama king" vro i just spent 2 hours feeling absolutely nasty because of the fact that i crave attention (sexually, platonically, AND romantically) 24/7. as a teenager. but yea lol yep its just drama. totes!
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idk man lmao i kinda wanna die. like i just want to sit down and get it over with already LMAOOO whos gonna miss lil old me. im literally not a valuable asset anywhere so i rlly dont know why it matters
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fuck. i hate you so much. die die die die. please die. i hate you. i hate you i hate you i hate you i fucking hate you i always knew this was going to happen. i always knew you were going to leave. that's what always happens. play with my feelings for several months and then go quiet when i'm not fun to toy with anymore.
#sorry that you no longer find it fun to exploit my trauma-induced sexual urges.#as if thats my fault#actually borderline#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#bpd
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oohh so thats what ive been doing..
saw a quote that said
"when little girls can't fix their fathers they will spend the rest of their lives trying to fix their lovers" IM SICK TO MY MF STOMACH
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why am i such a bad person? why do i lie so much? why aren't i able to tell people i love that i love them without feeling awkward or pushy? why am i so childish? why am i so narcissistic?
why can't i just be normal??
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being hypersexual as a trauma response + because of bpd as a minor is so so so so annoying either people will be weird about it, grossed out, or say that it's not possible i remember talking to this guy at some point who claimed he was hypersexual but just watered it down to "lol i get really freaky and i cant help it" and asked for pictures like an hour into the conversation at the very longest
#zero if you're seeing this. this is about you#what the fuck is wrong with you#actually hypersexual#actually bpd#actually borderline#actually mentally ill#hypersexuality
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am i unlovable? am i just not allowed to know a healthy relationship? in the relationships i've been in before, i've been: - groomed - taken advantaged of - insulted/ridiculed - threatened - invalidated and overall just not safe. why is it that every time i think i finally found out what it means to be cherished, i always get a harsh wake up call? it's so unfair.
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i wish i was one of those mentally ill people who internalize shit rather than going full banshee every time i get upset
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Remember that embarrassing thing you did today lol
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am i really a good person, or do i just get told that out of pity?
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd#actually borderline#bpd problems#borderline blog#borderline culture is
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bambi/reki, minor. just a vent blog. not to worry, i'm a mostly normal person, i just have problems from time to time and thought this would be a good way to deal with them. i struggle with autism, adhd, bpd, and suspected odd. ask is always open for vent submissions; i want to help others! <3
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