#// v long post but ty for the tag !

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

a compilation of overcomplicated hypothetical future IEYTD installments that i would kill to be canon

ft various spoilers for all three of the current non-hypothetical installments also ft really bad names for them in order to keep the list organized

I Expect You To Die; Once Burned, Twice Shy

During one of their usual heists against one of Zoraxis' latest schemes, Phoenix finds themself caught in what turns out to have been an orchestrated trap from the start. Not only is Zoraxis unscathed from the agent's attempt to stop their plans, but in the process, they find a way to pin their escape/the damage left behind on Phoenix in a catastrophic way, severing the Agency's trust in them and their handler.

Time after time again, Zoraxis have underestimated the Agent, but by separating the biggest thorn in their side from their main source of intelligence, power, and even locomotion, what can they possibly do to stop them from tearing down the rest of the Agency? And how is the Agency supposed to stop them without their star pupil turned 'traitor'?

Left with nothing aside from the guidance of their handler and their own sharp intuition- devoid of the Agency's tools or assistance- Phoenix needs to prove to Zoraxis and everyone else that they're more than just the tools the Agency lets them wield.

The 'gimmick' of this plot is kind of meant to be a parallel to what happened with Zoraxis at the end of the sequel. That being losing their trust with the rest of the world, and being forced to work in the shadows as opposed to hiding in plain sight. Because of this, a variation of this plot could be Zoraxis framing the entire Agency, instead of just Phoenix, forcing all of them to work and exist under the radar until they can clear their names. I just think the Phoenix specific plot is more entertaining, and made more personal by focusing on the protagonist.

I Expect You To Die; Pick Your Poison

The Fabricator probably has the most untapped potential and implied history with the Agency aside from Zor themself. While to me it feels like she's such an important character any plot that focuses on her would be a very late-game element, I can definitely see her serving as the 'main' antagonist of her own entry to the series.

The Agency- despite knowing the location of at least one of the Fabricator's workshops, are too intimidated by her lethality and talent to consider sending any more Agents to apprehend or face off against her. Behind Zor themself, they've gone on to list her in her dossier as the most lethal mind in Zoraxis' sprawling arsenal.

The Fabricator already has a bit of a vendetta against the agent, if not for the damage done to her workshop, then for the damage done to Zor's schemes, and by association, all of the tech she engineered for them.

There is also the point to consider that the Fabricator is in a very interesting place, for an antagonist position. Knowledgeable enough to know what happens to disappointing Zoraxis operatives- the cause of Juniper's death, almost Prism's, and who knows who else's- and yet… she seems more or less unbothered to remain by their side despite. The Agency wanting to get the Fabricator out of Zor's hands partnered with her seemingly deep running loyalty has very interesting implications for a betrayal arc of sorts.

I Expect You To Die; Reach for the Sky

Solaris is another character that has been brought up again and again in various ways, implying relevance- or at least, future relevance- to the series. While it would make perfect sense for her to accompany a Fabricator-focused installment, there's an equal probability for her to get something to herself.

Solaris- while perhaps not considered as dangerous as the Fabricator- is on par with her in terms of intelligence, and the Death Engine is still considered by the Agency to be one of the most powerful weapons to scourge humanity (as opposed to exclusively agents, as something like project KBOOM would have been).

While her loyalties to Zoraxis were obviously shaky even during her first appearance, Solaris is very self driven, and just because she may have broken ties with Zoraxis* doesn't mean she's completely out of the picture. As one of the Fabricator's tapes in Eaves Drop would suggest, Solaris still holds a grudge on the agent that destroyed her life's work. It isn't out of the question to consider that she would try to seek out her revenge, even on her own terms.

It's interesting to consider an arc that separates on competing with Zoraxis, rather than against them. Maybe- despite severing alliances with them- Solaris' tech is still of interest to Zor, which gets them involved the spat by proxy. Or maybe Zor- much like what they did when Anna intended to defect- is sending out a couple of operatives to take care of their newest loose end, with Phoenix finding themself caught in the crossfire.

*It is also possible that Solaris' 'defecting' from Zoraxis may have been a hoax or an effort to save face, with her being publicly tied to a newly exposed homicidal company. While somewhat unlikely, were this the case I don't think much about this hypothetical plot would change, save for Zoraxis being more of a main player (as they usually are) as opposed to a background threat.

I Expect You To Die; Playing With Fire

Vitti will almost certainly be given a mainstage role in a future installment, though with so little known about her, it's difficult to place how or where she'll show up. We know she used to be a field agent (maybe even Reginald's agent, when we consider that he used to hold the title of 'lead handler' at the same time she was 'lead agent'), and that she either had or gained ties to Zoraxis that may have lead to her erasure from Agency history. She also has the best case argument for being the Phantom, implying an interest in the Phoenix, as well as their survival.

To me, she's the perfect case for a betrayal/eluding-to-betrayal style arc without dipping into mind control. With the Agency being a dubiously-moral force as it stands, Vitti seems the perfect character to at least raise the potential that the Agency isn't really as good as they project themselves to be… and that the Phoenix isn't as safe with them as they'd like to think they are.

Maybe the two of them communicate off radar- Phoenix chasing after Zoraxis' tail while Vitti watches from the sidelines- breaching their coms to say her piece… Maybe the handler gives a piece of advice that Vitti contradicts, with her's being the safer option… Quietly worming the idea into the agent's head that even their own handler may not always have their best interest in mind… Whether or not there's any member of the Agency they can actually trust.

At the end of the day, Zor wants to tear apart every last facet of the Agency. But, they have a rival's fondness for the Phoenix… If they join Zoraxis, they'll be spared. They'll survive. If they stay with the Agency, they'll inevitably burn with the rest of them. She made her choice a long time ago… and she expects the agent to choose correctly.

I Expect You To Die; World in Your Hands

I don't care if it isn't likely I would do ANYTHING for a mind control arc (or something similar, at least), where we play as a Phoenix who- one way or another- has become a Zoraxis operative. It doesn't need to make sense while it happens because it would be fun as shit.

It isn't as if Phoenix still doesn't get to leave a trail of fiery destruction in their wake, it just isn't to the detriment of Zor this go around… Instead of the handler in your ear (🙁 no jared mason…) you can have one of the Zoraxis Operatives- either a new one, or a rotating cast of old ones (😊 yay mela lee). The souvenirs you bring back being exceedingly dangerous contraptions, explosives, prototype weaponry, and of course, many, many Zoraxis brand foodstuffs of varying degrees of quality. AND it would give Schell an excuse to bring back things like genuine gun combat from the first game.

And you get to be evil. Which literally who doesn't want to be evil?? Hello? We can get an epic evil cinematic intro and everything? An encounter with the handler where his voice shakes in genuine fear- for his life, for who his agent has become, for what Zor has done to them- HELLO??

[shecharm]

Rules, tag 10 followers  you want to get to know better!

Tagged by: @fanaticist [ tysm! ]​​

Tagging: @nvrcmplt , @ardenssolis , @lifesliced / @hehosts , @killerhubby , @hembralfa , @chidoried , @burdenedreverance , @75bpm

Name: Cupid Star Sign: Sagittarius ( Sun, ) Pisces ( Moon, ) Aries ( Rising ) Height: 5'5" Middle name: Nicole

Put your itunes/spotify/youtube on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?

Starring Role by Marina

After Hours by The Weeknd

Val!um by MASN

Make You Feel by Alina Baraz, Galimatias

Jokes On Me by Tory Lanez

Playing With Fire by Blackpink

Ever had a poem or song written about you: Lmao, no When was the last time you played air guitar: When my friends & I had a drinking night in VRC and jammed out to Polyphia. Who is your celebrity crush?: it literally changes like , every month. Cillian Murphy currently. What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: Styrofoam rubbing together. hate that shit. I like the sound of hair brushing or waves crashing into the shore , asmr stype stuff.

Do you believe in ghosts?: Yee, i'm really superstitious. How about aliens: i'm super deep into like , spiritual awakening shit and documentaries , where they talk about the history of the world , space and the chakra portals of the world and stuff - they talk about how like , we're all aliens n stuff and it's really cool. so yes. Do you drive?: sometimes. if so have you ever crashed: no lmao

What was the last book you read?: i listen to mostly audio books on audible , i've completed several poetry books & i'm currently listening to let that be the reason by vickie m. stringer. the last one i finished was the strength in our scars by bianca sparacino. Do you like the smell of gasoline: unfortunately. What was the last movie you saw?: star wars episode III, revenge of the sith What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: i don't really consider it an injury but just my body being like 'fuck you' but my lymph nodes were completely inflamed all down my left side once and over across my stomach. absolutely the worst pain i'd ever felt in my life. Do you have any obsessions right now?: sim, always but i'm super excited for touchstarved and a few other games that are gonna come out soon - i'm always refreshing pages to see new updates LMAO

[exghul]

CHARACTER / BLOG ASSOCIATIONS.

animal:   i make a lot of references to wolves & dogs in replies but he's very catlike. very puma vibes but like. a pocket sized one with sharp claws. color(s):   orange when talking about as a wayne, green as an al ghul. month:   january. very fresh start vibes. song:   within temptation's a demon's fate. number:   five, fifth robin. day or night:   night. plant:   venus fly trap. big teeth, anti-climactic & slow process of eating prey. smell:   candle smoke but specifically right when you blow out the wick. if you actually get close enough to sniff him, he smells like his latest soap of the week & usually a cologne that he grabbed from bruce's stash. since he's still young, only the candle smoke is a constant, the rest change with time. gemstone:   fluorite. season:   winter. place:   a palace, bedecked in jewels & fortunes. the throne is empty & blood-stained. food:   a plain bowl of oatmeal. damian has unhealthy habits with food & usually doesn't like many flavors. element:   fire. drink:   hot green tea, usually without any sweeteners. he "likes the bitterness".

tagged by @batagonist & @jokethur ♥ tagging @starignite @leopardblow @aonah-el @anxman & if u havent done it 👀👀 yoink it from me

[caruliaa]

zukka is kinda wild to me a little bit just bc like. atla has been ever for so *so* much longer than cs and yet a ship for it w minimal amnts of actual canon subtext outside one episode regularly takes up an insane amnt of my dashboard meanwhile carulia has like. the level of overt romantic subtext as a if a hypothetical different show had a relationship intended to be made officially romantic in the last season of a show only for that season to get botched somewhat due to quarantine and yet im the only one making content for it even semi regularly

[awearywritersworld]

men are so quick to blame the gods

ryomen sukuna x reader summary: your boyfriend is a heavy sleeper, leaving you to form an unlikely relationship with the curse occupying his body during the late hours of the night. w/c: 2.6k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. angst/fluff. aged up!yuuji. sa is mentioned but it's pretty much just sukuna saying he doesn't condone it. heavy kissing. obvi features yuuji x reader but it's not at all the focus. cursing. sukuna calls you kitten. i'd like to think he's not too ooc in this but im probably delusional. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: am i rehabbing our handsome vicious psychopath? yes<3 loosely inspired by this post (features manga spoilers) of him being v beautiful and poetic series masterlist // masterlist

humans have always irritated the king of curses— pathetic little vermin scurrying around, utterly oblivious to their own weakness.

so it came as quite a shock to him when he awoke after over a millenia, only to find himself trapped inside the body of some teenaged brat.

nearly 7 years later and he's positive there isn't a person he despises more in the universe. not even the cocky six eyes wielder can elicit sukuna's fury the way itadori yuuji so easily does.

that's why he resolved early on to kill his vessel's pretty little girlfriend, an act he hopes might satiate his spite. he's positive nothing would devastate yuuji more.

luckily for you, life has a funny way of working.

you and yuuji are standing at an intersection in the city, the pink-haired man staring at his phone as he tries to piece together the directions to a new sushi restaurant you've been wanting to try.

when the pedestrian sign on the other side of the street blinks, you step out onto the pavement without checking for oncoming traffic.

"what the-" yuuji's confused voice fills your ears just as a rough hand wraps around your wrist, yanking you backward violently.

a car barrels through the spot you'd just been standing, the driver clearly not paying attention to the traffic signal. you look back just in time to see harsh black marks fading from your boyfriend's arm, though the rest of his body has seemingly remained unblemished.

it's an odd sensation for yuuji because he's never lost control to sukuna in such a manner. he doesn't dwell on it long though, as anger blossoms in his chest.

"do not touch her," he scolds the curse occupying his body.

a mouth appears on his cheek and scoffs. "sure. i'll just let her die next time."

"it's okay, yu," you interject before he can retaliate. "thanks, sukuna. i, uh, appreciate it."

he grumbles something incomprehensible, his mouth quickly disappearing. your boyfriend looks at you bemused, but you only shrug. the fact that yuuji had lost control to sukuna doesn't make you feel nervous or threatened. you're grateful that he kept you from being run over, albeit a bit surprised.

as you continue your walk to the the sushi restaurant, you find yourself not quite able to meet yuuji's eye because... well... you haven't exactly been forthright regarding your relationship with the king of curses.

the first night it happens, you're laying in bed eagerly finishing the final volume of a manga you've been reading. yuuji is fast asleep and has been for hours, though you're used to being the night owl in the relationship.

you keep wiping at your eyes, the cheerful ending tugging at your heartstrings and tying the story together in a beautiful way.

"can you stop with your incessant sniveling? this idiot's brain is so rarely quiet and you're ruining it."

you look over to see the eye beneath your boyfriend's is open, staring at you scornfully.

"can you fuck off?" your tone is obviously meant to mock him. "i'm finishing one of my favorite mangas and you're ruining it."

"need i remind you of your place, brat?" he sneers. "it's dreadfully wretched, crying because you don't like the ending to some stupid story."

"since you're so clearly invested, i'll have you know i'm crying because i do like it."

"..and here i thought you couldn't get any more pathetic."

your eye twitches in annoyance. "just because you're mad about being stuck in 'some idiot human's body' doesn't mean you have to go around projecting your feelings of inadequacy onto other people."

you move your hand to cover the mouth on your boyfriend's cheek before sukuna can respond, hissing out in pain just a moment later.

"oh my god, you actually bit me." you inspect the teethmarks on your palm in disbelief.

"just wait until i win control of this body— the punishment you deserve for such insolence. you'd better hope you're miles away, but even then—"

"holy shit, enough already. i'll go to sleep. enjoy your peace and quiet," you growl angrily, flipping off the lamp and turning away from him. for some reason, you still find yourself mumbling, "good night."

sukuna's eye widens before promptly closing, the silence hanging in the air heavily. it's the longest conversation he's had in years and the first casual pleasantry he's heard in a millenia. he tries to feel satisfied that he got what he wanted in the end, before returning to his quiet solitude.

over the next few months, your late nights are graced somewhat frequently by the king of curses. he mainly complains— the friends you hung out with earlier were annoying, the tv's too loud, it took yuuji twenty minutes to exorcise a curse that sukuna could have dealt with in seconds.

it doesn't bother you nearly as much anymore and he's no longer able to get under your skin like he did that first night. it seems as if he's losing his touch, or perhaps he just isn't trying as hard.

it's around one in the morning, a book resting in your lap while your boyfriend snores softly beside you. sukuna's eye pops open, peering over at the text. "you're reading homer?"

your body jerks, startled by his sudden question, but you recover soon thereafter. "yeah, were you two friends or something?"

"no, you fool," he derides. "he lived far before my time."

though you don't comment on it, you find it amusing that your sarcasm had gone over his head. "oh, you're right. how silly of me to think you had friends."

"such profound witticism. i can hardly contain myself."

you sneak a glance over to find he's narrowed his eye at you and you actually giggle. "sorry."

it doesn't dawn on you how bizarre the interaction is, but sukuna abruptly realizes that something feels different. not once before tonight had he made you laugh.

he pushes the thought from his mind. "i did, however, indulge in his works during the heian period."

"really?" you perk up. it's not often you give him your full attention. "what'd you think?"

"i suppose i liked him well enough. one of my favorite lines comes from the poem you're reading."

you motion your hand for him to continue. "well don't be shy. i'm sitting here with bated breath."

he rolls his eye, but speaks nonetheless.

"men are so quick to blame the gods— they say that we devise their misery..." you realize for the first time how gruff his voice is, the deep reverberations sending a shudder down your spine. "but they themselves, in their depravity, design grief greater than the griefs that fate assigns."

his eye flickers between each of yours before you look back to your book, fiddling with the corner of the page. you're suddenly feeling rather shy. "does that mean you think humans are even crueler than you?"

he muses over your question briefly.

"if i recounted how men would flee the villages i burned, leaving their families behind in a selfish attempt to save themselves.. who would you find more revolting?

you swallow nervously. "i.. i don't know."

"what if i told you of the men who would eagerly offer their wives and daughters to me, hoping i'd spare them.. who would you deem more wicked?"

you're so busy avoiding his gaze that you don't see the way he carefully regards you. a question you're unsure you want the answer to tumbles from your lips before you can stop it. "did you accept? the.. the husbands' offers—"

"no," he responds. "i have little interest in unwilling partners."

"oh. well that's, um, good."

he hums in response, leaving you to process everything he's told you.

"you should stop," you blurt out eventually.

"stop what?"

"being nice to me." you wouldn't normally consider discussing literature then reminiscing about the egregious stories of his past life particularly kind, but then again, it is sukuna you're speaking with. "it's weird."

he rolls his eye again. "you're hardly in any position to be giving me orders, you insufferable brat."

"see? that's much better."

"why are you crying?" his tone is even, conveying neither annoyance or concern. truthfully, he has no idea what compelled him to ask in the first place.

you don't answer, hoping he'll leave you alone. you really don't have it in you tonight, even if sukuna's been much more tolerable recently. it's been weeks since you finished reading homer's epic poem.

the moon is already setting and it's just a few days before your date at the sushi restaurant.

when you sniffle again, he calls your name. you don't register that he doesn't say brat or idiot. it's the first time he's used your actual name.

"w-what do you want?"

"i seem to recall asking you a question."

you're laying on your side, facing away from yuuji and by extension, sukuna.

"i'm not crying," you declare.

sukuna briefly wonders why he's stuck dealing with you while yuuji sleeps, but his inward 'annoyance' is half hearted. "you're an awful liar."

you exhale and turn to look at him. the only light in the room is coming from the tv, but it's enough that he can see you clearly. "sometimes.. i can't help but worry about the execution."

yuuji has told you countless times that gojo has a plan, that he won't let anything happen, but you know what the higher ups are capable of.

and while it's down right shameful, you know that much, it's not only your boyfriend you worry about these days. sukuna's become so commonplace in your life, you almost look forward to talking with him at night.

"the thought of losing yuuji... of losing.. you.. it scares me," you murmur.

your words stir up feelings he's never once experienced and it's confusing to him. "i'd have figured you'd at least be pleased to be rid of me."

"well, i-i kind of thought we were friends now," you share without thinking.

"don't flatter yourself."

he regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth and the guilt he feels as he watches your face fall is unbecoming of a being so powerful. you apologize meekly, shifting (too late) to hide your hurt.

he can't remember a moment in which he's hated being trapped in his vessel's god forsaken body more. he wants to reach out to you, even if the idea feels entirely foreign to him.

but he can't, so he just sighs. "if you think i'm going to let a few feebleminded sorcerers execute me and the brat, you're even more foolish than i thought."

you peer at him, the smallest smile gracing your lips when you realize that's probably as close to an apology as sukuna would ever get.

"promise?"

for fuck's sake. he feels utterly pathetic. completely deplorable. laughable, even—

"yes," he states impassively. "now go to sleep."

"okay." your smile is just a little wider as your fingertips brush the spot below his eye and above his mouth. you wonder if he can even feel it. "good night, sukuna."

"...night, brat."

less than a week after sukuna saves your life at the intersection, yuuji kisses you goodbye as he heads out to a mission. he assures you he'll be early tonight, as he only has to exorcise a semi-grade one cursed spirit in roppongi.

though things don't go quite as planned because in addition to the semi-grade, he finds himself standing before two special grades. he manages to defeat one of the special grades, but the other two leave him badly hurt, his breathing labored.

he has to beg sukuna to switch out with him. the king of curses hasn't forgotten his promise to you and he's no fool— it's clear this is an ambush by the higher ups— but he'll be damned if he wasn't going to have a little fun with the brat first.

he makes quick work of the curses, each of them going rigid with fear as soon as he appears, and it soon becomes apparent that yuuji is too weakened to take back control of his body just yet.

at last, sukuna has his long yearned for freedom and a new world at his fingertips, but there's just one problem... all he wants to do is find you.

when the lock to your apartment clicks, your eyes shift to the door, an excited grin on your face. you can't hide your shock when it isn't your boyfriend that steps inside.

you don't say anything at first, simply following his frame across the room as he approaches you. he leans against the wall a few feet away from where you're sitting on the couch, folding his arms across his chest.

"seems your concerns about the execution weren't unwarranted."

"w-what?!" you exclaim, rising to your feet and taking a step toward him. "what happened?"

he relays the story to you, emphasizing how 'unimpressive' yuuji's power was and how 'terribly simple' it was for him to finish the job his vessel couldn't.

you narrow your eyes at him, only half joking when you ask, "what are you doing here, then? shouldn't you be off pillaging tokyo or something?"

he chuckles. "such a dark mind you have. it wounds me to hear you assume the worst of me."

you bite your lip to hide your smile. "just figured it'd save time."

he closes the space between you and though you can feel the heat radiating from his body, you don't shy away from him. instead, your eyes trail over the dark lines adorning his face and chest.

he reaches up and your breath catches in your throat when the back of his fingers ghost over your neck. his nails graze your skin and a sly smirk forms on his face. "aren't you frightened? it'd be all too easy to kill a little thing like you."

"but you won't."

he can't tell if your assuredness pisses him off, but it certainly makes his heart rate pick up. his hand now occupies the space where your neck meets your shoulder, his touch surprisingly gentle. "what has you so convinced?"

"well you saved me, didn't you? and.. and you kept your promise."

he hums in response and your hand seems to act of its own accord when it reaches up to rest atop his. any lingering sense of amusement is gone in an instant, the air now fraught with tension.

"so why are you here, sukuna?" you murmur.

the king of curses has never known goodness. he's wrought untold destruction and misery, his name inspiring fear even after millenia. he's a legend— a god, even— yet here you are staring up at him and he swears the look in your eyes is almost tender.

"i don't know."

"and you had the nerve to call me an awful liar."

you know you're taking a risk when you lean up and press your lips to his. he freezes for a moment before his mouth begins to move against yours tentatively. his arm stays at his side, so you grab his hand, moving it to your waist.

it's as if that flips a switch in sukuna. he backs you up against the wall somewhat roughly and you can feel him smile against your lips when you let out a squeak of surprise.

he uses the opportunity to take your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging at it before moving to your neck with the intention of leaving a trail of marks across your delicate flesh.

you know you should care, but you just can't bring yourself to tell him to stop. you're too preoccupied with the feeling. he revels in the little gasps he's pulling from your throat, in the way you grab weakly at his biceps.

"you are divine, kitten," he growls. "been waiting so long to touch you."

just as he finishes speaking, he pulls back a few inches and his body stiffens.

"damn it. not now, you stupid brat—"

the words die in his throat as the black lines begin to fade and you're met with the perplexed face of your boyfriend. he breaths out your name, clearly worried. "what.. what happened?"

[chryblossomjjk]

the weekend | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: dilf!jk x babysitter reader

⇢ RATING/GENRE: m/18+ | fwb, sm*t, angst

⇢ WC: 13.8k

⇢ WARNINGS: alright boyz strap in bc it's a doozy lmao, protected s*x, multiple org*sms (m & f), or*l s*x (m receiving), face f*ck, f*ngering, rough s*x, face slapping, sp*nking, exh*bitionism, sir k*nk, t*tty f*ck, t*tty sucking (duh), body piercings (n*pples), age gap (reader is 23 and jk is like 30), infid*lity (reader is the other woman), ch*king, overst*mulation, sp*tting, man handling, finger s*cking, d*m jk, brief mentions of past add*ction, implied passing of a bby (mainly subtext w no details given), maybe unrequited love, maybe not (EVIL CACKLE), some dark thoughts discussed (nothing too graphic or detailed), fighting n yelling n crying yikes, all of these characters are v flawed (except for yul duh), cute bby moments!!, oc is v immature n naive n contradicts herself a lot, she maybe has a thing for older guys bc of that, some bl*od (just a scrape on the knee but ik bl*od can be triggering), this relationship is extremely toxic and not meant to be desired!!!, one homage to trixie mattel lmao

⇢ SUMMARY: every weekend, you give jungkook a little taste of something he’s missing monday through friday.

⇢ NOTES: so after months and months of planning this fic (i literally posted the teaser in JANUARY UM??), it's finally here. i think this is my fav thing i've written thus far and i worked v hard on this! would love to know ur thoughts, feedback is always appreciated!! ty @/taegularities for betaing!! (for whatever reason, this fic refuses to show up in tags n it sucks n nothing i do fixes it so i shall leave it be lol)

You can't tell what’s louder—the crunch of dewy, end-of-summer grass pricking the soft skin of your thighs like angry thorns, or the cracking of bones as your body thumps to the ground from your bedroom window. 

“Ah-” the whine is quickly stifled by a sharp hiss as you remember your dad’s sleeping figure is just behind the wall next to you. “Ouch,” you whimper, praying that the crash hasn’t reached his watchful ears. Carefully, you climb to your feet, brushing the dirt off your bare legs. You spot a fresh crimson scrape on your knee.

Fucking great. 

Finally, after days of longing and waiting, the weekend has arrived. Today, in particular, is a fantastic day. You were trying to look sexy, and blood isn't exactly the sexiest accessory. Bringing your wrist up to your nose, you inhale the candy-scented liquid you had doused yourself in before leaving. 

Perfume still in check, thank fuck.

Goosebumps form on your skin as you take long, dutiful strides, cool night mist gliding through the thin material of your long silk shirt. You’ve committed this path to memory—out the window, usually in a more graceful manner, through the neighbor’s yard, and then straight down the sidewalk to the black Mercedes Benz waiting for you at the end of the road. 

If you hadn’t done this a million and one times already, you might’ve missed the vehicle, so dark that it blends into the night seamlessly. You can’t help but wonder if that’s his goal entirely. 

Still, the excitement of it all makes you walk a little faster. 

“Hey, Jungkook,” you smile as you slide into his black leather passenger seat, leaning over the center console to give his cheek a gentle peck. Maybe you’ve overstepped a boundary and muddied the lines in the sand of your… relationship, but you can’t help yourself. Seeing Jungkook was always a treat, one you looked forward to every Friday night for the past five months.

“Hi,” he says impassively, eyes darting over your figure. A loose strand of hair dangles in front of his eyes, teasing you. “You’re wearing makeup?”

“Oh, um…” You’re at a loss for words; surprised he noticed such a slight change in your appearance. Although his perceptiveness was something you noted shortly after you began working for him, you can’t help but feel flustered. “Yeah, I… wanted to look nice tonight. Totally busted my ass climbing out the window,” you laugh.

“Did you get hurt?” His straight brows furrow slightly, silver piercing reflecting the moonlight. 

“Just a scratch.” You lift your leg to show him the red mark on your knee. “Didn’t break anything, though, so that’s a plus.”

Wordlessly, Jungkook reaches over, popping open the glove compartment before you and pulling out the first aid kit he keeps there for emergencies. The scent of clean linen wafts over you from his daily cologne. His scent. Only his. You try your best to subdue the possessive smirk forming. “You should be more careful.”

“I’m okay.”

“Be more careful,” he commands, peering up at you with an icy gaze. “Got it?”

Whether it’s the seven-year age gap between the two of you or the tone of his voice, you know better than to argue. “Yes,” you wince as he rubs Neosporin onto the open wound. “Besides, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt if my dad wasn’t so… overprotective.”

“Well,” he continues, sticking a pink Baby Shark bandaid to your skin before putting the box back, “as a father, I understand.”

“Yul is two, though,” you laugh, “I’m in my twenties.”

“Being in your early twenties hardly makes you an adult,” he mutters. "Besides, it doesn't matter. The need to protect your children always stays the same.”

“Poor Bunny,” you pout jokingly as you click your seatbelt on. “She’s going to be just like me when she’s older. Sneaking out of a window to see a boy because her daddy is a big grizzly bear.”

The comment has his nose twitching in irritation. “I’m done with this conversation, __.”

You freeze. Have you struck a nerve?

“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you peep. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Stop.” His voice is flat, but your heart thumps. “It’s fine.”

All the excitement you feel suddenly morphs into an uncomfortable ache as you slump into your seat. It’s different than it was last weekend, positioned much closer to the dashboard than you would ever put it. There’s a claustrophobic sting in your chest as you realize someone else has been in this very spot. 

You know they have, and you know who. 

The deafening sound of the bulky silver band on his finger, tapping against the steering wheel as he begins driving to the hotel you frequent, is a sick reminder.

You swear there’s even a musky floral scent lingering in the air. Deeper and more mature than yours. It could be paranoia, or guilt, making you imagine things. Still, you hope your perfume finds its way into every fiber of his leather seats. 

“How was your day?” Jungkook asks, interrupting any rational thought or doubt, luring you back into the vicious cycle. 

“A bit stressful,” you sigh. “I applied for school today.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, pretty sure I messed up on the financial aid paperwork, though. It was super confusing; I didn’t understand any of it.”

“You should’ve brought it over. I could’ve helped you.” 

Jungkook does have a master’s degree in finance. He could’ve been your Rosetta Stone, helping you decipher convoluted questions about taxes and deductions. However, you weren’t sure how he would’ve reacted to you pulling out your laptop post-sex, asking for assistance on something completely unrelated to your normal routine. “That’s not the type of thing we usually do when we’re together,” you shrug, “you know?”

Your response has him shifting in his spot, pierced bottom lip curling inwards like the words made him queasy. He was the one who encouraged you to go back to school in the first place. “I wouldn’t have minded,” Jungkook mumbles before quickly redirecting the dialogue, something he does whenever he’s frustrated or uncomfortable. “So, what’s the special occasion?” 

“Huh?” 

“What’s got you all dolled up?”

Oh, right. That special occasion. The one you’ve been anticipating since you were made aware of its existence. 

“Happy three years sober!” You announce with a cheesy smile, throwing your arms up eagerly. 

“Ah,” he huffs in recognition. His eyes are fixed on the road, but there’s the tiniest hint of a smirk on his face. Success. It takes everything in you not to physically rejoice. “I’m surprised you remembered.”

“What do you mean?” You ask with a pout. “How could I forget?”

“I don’t know.” Just like that, the flicker of happiness wisps away like a flame in the wind as his expression turns emotionless and stoic again. “It’s not really a big deal.”

You frown. Must he always be so… cold? 

‘It’s okay to smile; you deserve it,’ is what you want to tell him. It's not your place, though. You opt for: “It’s a huge deal, Jungkook,” instead. Reaching over, you gently tuck the stray strand of hair behind his decorated ear. 

A somber aura hangs around him like a dark, dreary rain cloud, and in moments like this, when it’s so visible, you just… need to touch him.

It’s stupid to think that you’re the special one; that you’ll be the girl to turn the rain into a rainbow and save him from himself, but you can’t refrain from trying. 

“Did you celebrate?”

He shakes his head. “Went to work.” 

You can tell from his outfit—a sleek black blazer resting neatly on top of an even darker button-up and tie. His long hair is slicked back, but gravity, and his ten-hour long shift took their toll, making the strands hang slack, short undercut peaking through. He looks so incredibly sexy. Maybe, you can comfort him in the only way you know how…

“Well, there’s still time.” You point to the clock on his touchscreen stereo: 11:12 p.m. You throw your hair over your shoulder before slowly undoing the top two buttons of your shirt, revealing the skimpy black lingerie set you splurged on just for tonight. Just for him. “We can celebrate…”

“Yeah?” His cheek bubbles, tongue poking at the inside of his mouth, eyebrow jumping at your suggestion. “How so?”

You bite your lip, contemplating your next move. Hastily, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean over the center console. It’s reckless, but so is being with a man like Jungkook. When you finally get to have him the way you want, you’re incapable of rationality. 

One night of him isn’t enough. What kind of tease is that? You need at least six more to be satisfied…

“__,” he warns, arching his head away from your sneaky lips.  “Put your seatbelt on. Wait until we get to the hotel.”

“Where’s the fun in that, though?” You pout, cupping his cheek in your hand and batting your eyelashes innocently. Jungkook doesn’t take the bait, giving the desolate road ahead his unwavering attention. Despite his nonchalant demeanor, you can tell you’re getting to him. Below you, his slacks tighten around his thick, tensed thighs. He’s playing right into your hands. Needily, you tongue the little silver hoops dangling from his ear. 

“If I have to pull over, you’re in trouble.”

“Maybe I-”

A hushed ‘fuck’ cuts you off as the car comes to a screeching halt. Jungkook slams on the brakes, coming too close to the slower vehicle in front of you for comfort. Luckily, his dad reflexes kick in. His strong hand grips your waist tightly, preventing you from barreling forward. You brace yourself by clutching his shoulders, and when the adrenaline rush fades, you finally look at him. His nostrils are flared, and his jaw is clenched painfully tight. He’s pissed. 

You know you should apologize, or be a little shaken up, but the blinking of the turn signal as he pulls to the side of the dark highway has your mouth watering. This is just what you wanted. 

Jungkook sighs in frustration, tilting his head back against the headrest. The movement is counterintuitive, exposing the inked canvas of his neck that you’re desperate to paint red and purple. 

A hand fists your tangled hair, pulling you off with a harsh yank before you have the chance to sink your teeth in. The silver ring on his finger digs into your scalp like a knife. “Do not fucking mark me.”

The feeling of the frigid metal is agonizing. Not physically—his grip loosens immediately after the initial tug—but emotionally. You know why he doesn’t want you to mark him. Any evidence of you, other than your weekly babysitting duties, would unravel the entire life he’s built for himself. 

Jungkook is an intelligent man, though. You don’t have to tell him that it’s all a façade, and everything’s already been undone. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice comes out frail and shaky. “I just want you.”

And like some cruel joke, his phone rings. 

The contact image would typically make you swoon. It’s a picture of him and his daughter from her first birthday party; her sticky, strawberry ice cream covered hands holding his cheeks as he stares at her with scrunched eyes and a big smile. You think that picture is the only time you’ve ever seen him genuinely happy.

The bold, white font at the top of the screen makes you sick to your stomach. 

‘Wife.’

Jungkook releases your hair and places a finger over his mouth, signaling you to shut up,  before answering. 

“Yes, Seulgi?”

“Your daughter would like to speak to you.” 

Her voice makes you want to curl into yourself. Whenever you talk to Seulgi regarding Yul, you’re able to compartmentalize and detach that part of yourself from this one. The one that’s sleeping with her husband. Hearing her in this compromised setting makes you feel absolutely repulsive. 

After some rustling and tiny sniffles, Yul answers. “Da-” She only manages a syllable before breaking into a cry-induced coughing fit. You cringe, poor Bunny. “Daddy!”

“What’s wrong with my baby?”

You don’t mean to giggle, especially when the little girl you’ve grown to love so much is clearly distressed, but the intimidating, grumpy, tattooed businessman beside you, talking in full-on pout, tickles your brain just right.

“I don’t wanna sleep alone!” Yul screeches in the most anguished, high-pitched tone.

“Bunny…” With the way his hands scrub down his face, you can tell the tears on the other end are physically affecting him. “Take a deep breath, please.”

There’s a shaky inhale, and a sad whine of an exhale as she tries to steady her respirations.

“Thank you, good job,” he affirms. “Yul, daddy is…” Dark pupils flicker over to you, his face scowled to match. He eyes you like you’re an annoying stain on his leather seat. A dirty little secret that’s keeping him from his daughter. The gesture sends a dagger through your chest. Usually, Jungkook tells his wife he’s working overtime, but he can’t bring himself to lie to his only daughter. “Busy.”

“B-B-But.” The wails have simmered down to a blubber. “Scared.”

“You have mommy, though, don’t you?” He counters exasperatedly, cogs turning at maximum speed to conjure up a solution. “And Ruru?”

Yul is a persistent girl. You’ve seen the two-and-a-half-year-old deadpan Jungkook with a ‘you can have them, then,�� when he tried to convince her that vegetables were delicious and totally not an abomination to tastebuds. “Jeon Ruru is scared, too.”

After a few months of dedication and trust building, Yul finally initiated you into her inner circle of squishmallows, all of which shared the surname, Jeon, followed by whatever random title her baby brain bestowed them. Jeon Ruru, a glass of strawberry milk, was her favorite. You coo in remembrance. 

“What about Ado?” Jungkook suggests, exhausting all his options.

“Ado?” She peeps curiously, and you can almost see her doe eyes scanning the room for her runner-up, an avocado squishmallow you gifted her. “Ado’s sleepin’.”

“Can you go get him?”

There’s a long pause of contemplation before the pitter-patter of tiny feet on wood fills the speakers. “Jeon Ado!” She calls out, voice becoming distant as she runs to her bedroom, “daddy wantsa’ talk to you!” You make out a quiet ‘I’ll tuck you in’ when Seulgi helps her to bed. “Okay,” Yul huffs, breathless from her scurry down the long corridor, “he’s here.”

“Jeon Ado.” You rarely see this side of him, and it takes all of your strength to suppress the smile that’s creeping up. “Can you keep Yul safe while I’m away?” He even leans forward a bit, turning his ear towards the speaker as if he’s actually waiting for the stuffed avocado to answer, subconsciously playing along with his daughter despite being miles apart. The scene puts your overwhelmingly sweet perfume to shame. “Uh, Yul, he said yes. So can you sleep in your big girl bed tonight?”

Reluctantly, Yul grumbles in agreement.

“Alright baby, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

Again, she answers with a little grunt and a yawn.

“I love you.”

“Love youuu!” She extends the vowel for emphasis.

“I love you more.”

There’s a beat of silence before the sleepy girl simply responds ‘yep,’ not even attempting to argue. He glances at you, this time with a wholesome smile, eyes warm with burning stars. It’s moments like this that keep you hooked, you think. Like always, the feeling is short-lived. When Seulgi mumbles a sweet goodnight to her daughter, their daughter, you’re reminded that you shouldn’t even be observing this domestic interaction. 

“You know,” the man begins, turning his attention to his wife, “if you had given her a warm bottle, she would’ve gone down without a hitch.” 

“Jungkook, she’s too old for a bottle.” And just like that, the fire between them ignites. You’ve never actually witnessed the pair fighting, only felt the uncomfortable heat between them in passing. “And she’s too old to be co-sleeping. She never had an issue sleeping alone beforehand.”

“Alright,” he asserts, “if Yul’s okay, then we’re done here.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little unfair?” Despite his warning, she continues. “Getting her used to sleeping with you and then not being here?”

There were many things about having a daughter that Jungkook wasn’t prepared for.

It’s not that he didn’t do his research, and Yul certainly wasn’t an accident. He had wanted her more than anything. Especially after the… 

Incident.

A baby-sized hole was left in Jungkook’s chest. Every day, it grew bigger and bigger until, eventually, that bitter emptiness would’ve swallowed him alive. 

Jungkook needed Yul. 

Still, there were certain things that parenting books and videos hadn’t warned him about, like the worry in his stomach whenever his daughter refuses her lunch, or the ache in his heart when he drops her off at daycare and she watches him leave through the window with a sad wave and tears rolling down her cheeks as if he’s just abandoned her forever. As if he or his wife aren’t going to pick her up in a mere four hours like they do every Tuesday and Thursday. His readings haven’t prepared him for the even stronger ache that consumes his entire body whenever he leaves for work too early and comes home too late, with barely any time to spend with his favorite person in the world.  

Before Yul was even born, Jungkook and Seulgi had decided that co-sleeping was out of the question. Their room was for them, and he stood firm on that principle for a while. However, as time passed, their room became Seulgi’s, and the empty bedroom downstairs became his. 

Jungkook couldn’t stand that room. 

One night, after a particularly grueling shift, Jungkook trudges up the stairs for a late shower. Without finance talk or Yul’s babbles, he’s left to his own thoughts. Usually, under the scalding water, he wondered how his life turned out this way, or more so, why? This time, Jungkook wonders if there is even a reason to keep going at all.

He catches his reflection while brushing his teeth. His eyes are dark, cold, distant. Those same eyes belong to his daughter, but all he sees when looking into hers is love, innocence, and everything good in life. 

Maybe, just maybe, there’s hope for him. 

Taking a detour to Yul’s room, Jungkook does his best to quietly tip-toe around squishmallows and discarded markers. Underneath the pink blanket is a little ball of fluffy black hair. She’s got her thumb in her mouth—a bad habit he and Seulgi had been trying to nip in the bud—with her chubby cheeks squished against her pillow. There were few things he hated more than waking her up, especially when she was sleeping so peacefully, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t stop himself. 

Tiny, confused cries fill the room as Jungkook scoops her up. 

“Shh,” he hushes, smoothing his palm over her onesie-clad back. “It’s just me.”

“Da- ddy?” Immediately, she relaxes at the familiar sound of his voice, words slurred as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes with a little fist before peering up at him with big marble eyes. 

“How was daycare, Bunny?” 

“Scared,” she whimpers, slumping into his chest for comfort. “Scaredy cat.”

“Scaredy cat?” Jungkook repeats, trying to make sense of the phrase. “Who’s a scaredy cat?”

“Jeon Yul.” 

Typically, Jungkook finds it adorable when Yul refers to herself in the third person. The way she says it this time makes him frown. “Jeon Yul is not a scaredy cat. Jeon Yul is a baby, that’s all.” Realizing that she’d probably heard the unfavorable title at daycare, his chest tightens. With a heavy sigh, he rests his chin on top of her round head, swaying back and forth. Her hair smells like green apples from her baby soap. “Why were you scared, sweetheart?”

“No color…” 

On his lunch break, Seulgi informed him that she was picking Yul up early. In an attempt to encourage her to engage with other children, the teacher took away Yul’s crayons, sending her into a full-blown tantrum. Jungkook knew his daughter well, a spitting image of him in every capacity. The crayons weren’t the problem; it was that crippling shyness that made her afraid of socializing with nearly anyone other than you and her parents.

Her back ripples with tiny hiccups as she recounts the events. Jungkook decides it’s best to change the subject, not wanting to upset his two-year-old anymore—especially this late at night. 

“Guess what?”

Yul grunts an inquisitive noise.

“Daddy got you Baby Shark coloring books.”

Her wispy bedhead bounces as she glances side to side, inspecting her room for any sign of new Pinkfong merchandise. Jungkook was genuinely amazed at her ability to keep track of it all, considering how much he and his wife loved to spoil her rotten. However, the word ‘rotten’ doesn’t even come close to describing his baby. “Where?”

“In my car,” he laughs, slicking her choppy bangs out of her eyes. “We’ll color tomorrow., okay?”

“I like Baby Shark,” Yul says, completely ignoring his question. The teeniest, tiniest, most precious yawn slips out, two little front teeth on full display before her lips smack together sleepily. Truly living up to her nickname.

“I know you do.” He’s still rocking her gently, buying some time before she falls back into sleep’s arms and out of his. “I missed you so much today.” 

“Why?”

As of late, ‘why’ seems to be Yul’s favorite word. 

Why is the sky blue?

Why do vegetables taste yucky?

Why is daddy’s nose so big?

He’d be lying if he said that last, brutally honest question hadn’t caught him off guard when she first uttered it on his hip at the grocery store. 

“Because I love you.” It’s the most effortless sentence he’s ever spoken. The most natural feeling he’s ever felt.

“Why?” 

“Because,” his eye roll is disconnected from his growing smile, “you’re so cute!” If they weren’t enclosed by the four pink walls of Yul’s bedroom, Jungkook would be embarrassed at the squeakiness of his usual monotone voice. Leaning down, Jungkook blows a raspberry against her doughy cheek, a tried and true method of making her laugh. “Do you want to sleep in my room?”

It’s against his better judgment and the ground rules he had agreed to, but he just… really needs to spend time with her tonight. The small nod against his chest seals the deal. Before he gets to the door, Yul stops him with an exaggerated gasp.

“Daddy, Ruru!”

“Ruru?” 

She grunts, frustrated at her father’s confusion, frantically pointing at her partner in crime, the strawberry milk squishmallow lying neatly underneath her comforter. Just how she left it.

“Yul,” Jungkook starts, taking a few steps backward and bending at the waist, allowing her to take the oversized stuffie into her arms. “Isn’t this Mimi?” As far as Jungkook knows, the pink milk carton with a face had always been Mimi; a name Yul had dubbed it since he brought it home a couple months back.

“Ruru,” she states affirmatively. 

And ever since then, Yul’s been a co-sleeper. 

Jungkook prided himself on knowing his daughter like the back of his tattooed hand. Whether it’s a sixth sense, some innate father’s instinct that the parenting videos mentioned, or his own attention to detail, he could read her like a book. However, sharing a bed with the tiny human taught him something he had been blissfully unaware of:

Yul sleeps wild. 

More often than not, Jungkook was awoken by a tiny foot kicking his back, or by his own reflexes as he was somehow pushed to the very corner of the bed by his twenty-pound baby. There were even a few times when a harsh tug on his hair acted as an alarm clock. When he turned around to confront the culprit, however, she was fast asleep, arm slung over one of the many squishmallows that had worked their way into his room. 

Having her with him was worth all bald spots and bruises, though. It’s bad, he knows it, and night by night, Yul becomes more attached. Getting her acclimated to daycare had been hell, to say the least. He knows co-sleeping has possibly made her more reluctant to socialize than she already was. 

Still, Jungkook can’t help but wonder who’s more dependent on the other. When he thinks about it, undoubtedly, the answer is him. Because as long as he wakes up to a little foot in his back, a fist in his hair, and the smell of green apple baby soap, he has a reason to keep going. 

“Don’t you think she deserves better?”

Her sharp words swipe through the air like a blade. Even you feel the cut, cautiously eyeing Jungkook. You can’t read his expression, but something about it makes you rub a comforting hand over his shoulder. He doesn’t react to your touch at all.

There’s a sullen pause before he finally answers. “I think Yul deserves everything.”

“Right… Goodnight, Jungkook.” She hangs up before he has the chance to respond. Seulgi always struck you as a level-headed person, albeit a bit aloof, but never unfair or cruel. You assume she’s just being spiteful, because anyone who knows Jungkook would never question his dedication to his daughter. That ugly, bitter, jealous side of you thinks maybe she just doesn’t know him the way you do. 

“Are you okay?” You whisper as if approaching a wounded animal, ready to attack. 

“On Fridays,” he starts, eyes shamefully dropping to his fidgeting hands. “Yul spends the day with my parents.”

His incessant need to defend his parenting makes your heart ache. “Hey, I-”

“She’s usually asleep by the time I leave work.” 

“Kook,” you interrupt his rambling. “You don’t have to explain; I understand... I think you’re an amazing father.”

Lifting his head, Jungkook looks you directly in the eyes. His are glassy and gentle now, but the fingers that hook into your lace bra, right between the cups, are rough and abrasive. “C’mere,” he gruffs, pulling you over the center console until you’re uncomfortably sandwiched between his solid chest and the steering wheel. There’s no effort to make room for you; he doesn’t slide his seat back. He doesn’t compromise any of his space for you. You accept it, steadying yourself on his shoulders with a grunt. 

Sometimes, you question what your presence in his life truly is. Are you an escape or a punching bag? Are you merely something he can sink his nails and teeth into when angry? Something he can break without consequence? The sound of thread ripping and buttons popping fills the car as he slides the silk off your shoulders, letting the delicate material fall to the floor without a care in the world.

“You wore this for me?” A fingertip lightly traces the petite swell of your breasts, barely bulging over the frilly black cups of your push-up. The sensation sets your skin ablaze.

“Mhm,” you confirm, “I wanted today to be special.”

“You care about me?” Moonlight cuts through the dewy window, beaming against the side of his face, highlighting the taut pull in his features. His question seems genuine, but the answer is obvious, isn’t it? Simply being here with him makes the entire foundation of your soul, all of your morals and beliefs, crumble to pieces. Against your better judgment, you’re still here. 

Yearning. Trying. Fighting.

You swipe a thumb over his thick brows, trying to ease the angry crinkle that’s become a permanent fixture on his beautiful face. You comb through his hair. It’s a little knotted, a little crunchy from old gel. 

The answer should be obvious, but you don’t think Jungkook could internalize love if it was right in front of him.

“I care about you,” you say truthfully, “a lot.”

The stars in his eyes gleam for a moment, glowing bright and vibrant, before they’re engulfed by the suffocating blackness of his pupils. 

“You poor thing,” Jungkook tuts, trailing his fingers up your neck before grasping your jaw with a single hand. The baby fat of your cheeks mushes together from the force. “You're gonna let me do whatever I want to you, aren't you?”

The tone of his voice has your heart fluttering and your stomach churning with thick hot desire. Gripping his wrist with both hands, you moan out a ‘yes,’ unconsciously grinding down onto his slack-covered bulge. He’s barely touched you yet and your cunt is leaking, making a mess of your itty bitty thong and his work suit. 

“Right, of course.” With the same hand holding you, Jungkook taps his index finger against your glossy pout, “open.” Just barely parting your lips, you let the thick digit slide between them. Immediately, he presses down against your tongue, trying to coax a gag out of you. “What if I want to fuck this pretty little mouth until you cry? How does that sound? Would you like that?”

Inhaling deeply, you nod. That sounds absolutely perfect.

“I don’t know if you can handle it, though,” he lulls, retracting his finger before plunging it back in, all the up to his inked knuckle. You squint in defiance. He’s teasing, but you can’t fight the tinge of anger in your chest. If there’s one thing you can do, it’s suck a mean dick. Looking him directly in the eyes, you swirl your tongue against his palm with ease, not choking once. You feel his cock twitch against the supple flesh of your inner thigh. 

Unamused by your antics, Jungkook yanks his hand back angrily, making a string of saliva drip down your chin. Maybe a full face of makeup wasn’t the best idea. “Get in the backseat,” he orders huskily, wiping the damp skin on his blazer. Biting back a smirk, you climb off his lap and wriggle over the center console. You situate yourself on the cool leather, laying down and assuming face-fuck position. 

The yellow glow of headlights swims across the ceiling as a passing car drifts down the misty highway. This is the first time in five months that you and Jungkook are out in the open, blissfully oblivious to the possibility of getting caught. It’s childish, but you hope someone sees. For a moment in time—in a wandering eye’s glimpse of reality—you’re his and he's yours.

“Couldn’t wait until we got to the hotel, huh?” Jungkook huffs when he opens the door. Giddily, you lean your head back over the edge of the seat, coming face to face with the tent in his pants. His hands frantically work to unbuckle his belt, desperate to bury himself inside of you. His favorite escape. “Well, since you want to act like a fucking whore-” his pants fall to his knees with a clang when he unbuttons them, “-I’ll treat you like one.”

“Please,” you whimper, noting the wet spot on his gray Calvin Kleins. Reaching up, you lightly drag your nails across it, teasingly pinching the head of his cock before he tugs his boxers down. A big greedy smile spreads across your face as his semi springs out. 

The sight makes your lips part. It’s so pretty. Something about how the moonlight catches the glowy pink tip, peeking out from under his foreskin. The light accentuates every ridge and vein on his girthy shaft. So yummy it has you drooling-

Jungkook’s right. You’re a complete and utter whore.

“Is this what you wanted?” He peers down at you over his prominent nose, one hand clutching the roof of his Mercedes. The other wraps around his thick shaft, giving it a few languid pumps, getting himself fully erect for you. Teasingly, he taps the head against your plump lips. Unable to resist, you press a sweet peck and a kitten lick to his silky frenulum. “Uh-uh,” he chuckles, raising his delicious cock just beyond your reach. “You know better than that. Ask for permission.”

“Wanna suck it,” you pout, squirming impatiently. “Please?”

Suddenly, his heavy cock slaps your cheek with a wet thud.

“Please, what?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl.” The praise is contradicted by another light smack to your face, this time with an open palm. Taking the hint, you open your mouth wide, tongue sticking out in anticipation. Jungkook watches you intently with furrowed brows and a slack jaw as he feeds you the first few inches. As soon as the salty flavor of his arousal hits your tastebuds, you moan obnoxiously, back arching off the leather beneath you. 

He starts slowly, using your breathing to guide his movements—pausing on the exhales and giving you a bit more on the inhales. He does this until the entirety of his length is shoved down your warm, wet mouth. 

The hem of his black dress shirt flows over you, obstructing his view. He places it between his teeth with an annoyed groan, wanting to watch the swell in your neck as you swallow him like a snake. “You take it so well,” he grunts over the material, “the best I’ve ever had.”

Tears clinging to your lashes finally lose grip, trickling down your skin until they get lost in the thick, dark swoops of your dangling hair. For once, you mean something more to him than she does. It’s insignificant and shameful, but at least it's something.

“Are you okay, __?” Jungkook asks, sensing the shift as your soul splays before him like your half-naked body. Stepping back, he gives you some reprieve.

With red eyes and drool bubbling at the corners of your lips, you moan out an implied ‘yes.’ His confession has you on cloud nine.

“Do you remember the sign?”

Again, you hum. 

“Can you show me?”

Lazily, you tap his outer thigh three times, a hard ‘stop’ symbol you had agreed upon months ago while hanging off the edge of a hotel bed, preparing for Jungkook to fuck your mouth for the very first time. 

“Good girl,” he says before rutting his entire length into you again. He’s so deep that the soft skin of his scrotum nudges against the tip of your nose, and the dense patch of trimmed hair on his pubic bone tickles your chin. Reaching down, Jungkook grips your neck, reveling in the feeling of it stretching against his palm as he moves in and out steadily. 

Eventually, he hunches over, hands wandering down and holding your temples for better leverage. Despite the harsh digs of his hips, his delicate fingers brush away a few strands of hair stuck to your damp cheeks. The sweet gesture makes you whimper around him in pure ecstasy, moving your head to meet his thrusts for extra stimulation, circling your flat tongue around the base. 

The whistles of the midnight breeze and the murmur of passing cars fade, and all you hear is Jungkook. The melodic, venomous praises pouring out of him poison your mind with optimism. He takes one last plunge, so powerful it sends you sliding back against the seat. To steady yourself, you grip his legs, attempting to ease your triggered gag reflex. He holds you there, cock stuffed to the brim as he slams a hand against the black steel of his car, shirt falling from his teeth as he moans ardently. You gasp when he finally pulls out, leaking tip still connected to you by a bridge of spit and precum.

“Why-” Cough. “Why did you stop?” 

Your question is met with only the sound of rustling fabric and the chime of his hanging belt buckle as he removes his suit jacket and throws it into the passenger seat. Grabbing you by the band of your lingerie, Jungkook hauls your frame closer.

He snaps your taut bra strap against your shoulder with a single finger. “Take this off.”

“O-Okay,” you stutter, still trying to catch your breath as you sit up at the waist and unclip your bra. A shiver runs down your spine as the cool night air licks your exposed chest. This time when you lie down, you’re positioned under his spread legs. He stands over you with such authority and dominance. The underside view of his hard cock looks absolutely menacing. 

“These,” Jungkook’s large palms grab at your tits, jiggling them, “I wanna fuck ‘em.”

“There isn’t anything for you to fuck,” you giggle. 

After years of insecurity, and crying over vengeful comments from dumb boys you had broken things off with, you finally came to terms with your appearance. Your tits are small, and that’s okay. Plus, the cute little nipple piercings you had gotten a while back were definitely a confidence booster. There wasn’t an ounce of self-hatred in your comment.

Jungkook doesn’t take it that way, though.

“Shut up.” With a huff, he steps back and hunches, reaching down to deliver a harsh swat to your cheek. It was a little rougher than usual, and you wince upon impact. Instantly, he soothes the skin with a gentle pet. “Your tits are… perfect.”

Perfect? Your cheeks and aching pussy heat up at the compliment.

Squeezing your chest, Jungkook brushes his thumbs over your pebbled nipples. He pays extra attention to the silver barbells, decorated with little sparkly peaches at the ends. “These are new,” he notes, tugging on the jewelry. You let out a breathy moan, legs clenching together, inner thighs embarrassingly wet. “Sheesh,” he laughs, “someone’s sensitive.”

“Yeah… keep going.”

“I like them. They’re cute on you.”

Throughout your acquaintances, Jungkook was rarely this vocal. Maybe some praise sprinkled in here and there, but seldom anything substantial. Tonight, however, he’s been dishing out sweet talk like candy. You can’t pinpoint precisely what, but something’s changed.

Whatever it is, it fills you with awful, wishful hope.

Jungkook shuffles closer, teasing the teat of your pierced bud with his sticky tip. The dreamy sensation has your eyes rolling back into your skull. A glob of spit drops between the valley of your breasts before he spreads the wetness over your skin with his shaft. He has to use a death grip to force your tits into a soft plushness, perfect for him to slot himself into. Again, you feel that fucking ring embedding itself into your skin like a nasty tick. 

Cautiously, he guides his pulsing cock between your constrained breasts. A beautiful symphony of groans lulls out as he throws his head back in pleasure, long locks dancing along his clammy neck. 

“You like that?” You hum, taunting him. “Tell me how it feels.”

It takes him a minute to collect his thoughts, eyes trained on your tits pillowing around him, focusing on the dewy sheen of your nipples and chest as his oozing cock spills onto your skin. “It feels-” his hips stutter, “-so fucking good.”

The way his teeth snarl around the hushed curse makes you smile, eyes closing as you relish in his pleasure. Maybe you’re too horny, or perhaps the blood rushing to your head from being upside down for so long is making you crazy, but you wish you could live in this moment forever. Wallowing in the darkness, frozen in time with him. Yeah, you think, that would be wonderful.

“You can touch yourself,” he comments, spotting your clenched legs, desperate for some pressure. 

“S’okay,” you mumble, reaching around to caress his balls. His thighs tremble a bit against your arms. “Just wanna make you feel good.”

“Can you-” he grunts, stomach clenching as he begins to feel that familiar pooling in the base of his thick shaft. “Hold them for me. I’ll take care of you after, just- let me cum.”

Obliging, you replace his hands with your own, squishing your tits together for him. The visual of you lying under him, complacent and willing, sends him spiraling. A guttural roar echoes throughout the empty road as he speeds up. “Tighter,” he orders; you listen. The saliva and precum are beginning to rub off, making the friction of his chaotic thrusts sting your skin. He notices, letting another string of spit fall from his mouth onto your flesh. “Be good and take it. I’m almost there.”

By now, Jungkook should know you’d endure any pain to be with him. 

The darkest parts of your brain tell you he’s well aware of that fact. 

After a few more humps and lulled words of encouragement, he’s bursting at the seams. Just before he blows, Jungkook steps back, tight fist jerking himself frantically as he spills his seed onto your chest. Your eyes dart from his angry cock to his fucked out expressions. The moonlight shines behind him like a glowing aura as he finishes with a scrunched nose and his tongue between his teeth. He looks angelic. You moan under him, flinching when a stray spurt lands on your chin. 

Fucked out and dazed, he laughs softly, running a hand through his hair as his chest heaves. Collecting the liquid with his finger, he brings it to your giggling lips. The taste makes you hum as you lazily begin rubbing his cum all over your tits. 

“Really?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. “You’re already starting?”

“Starting what?” You pout, batting your lashes at him and circling your nipple lightly with the tip of your nail, trying your best to look oblivious and innocent. Well, as innocent as you possibly can while literally covered in sperm. 

“Don’t play dumb. You know what you’re doing.”

See, in many ways, Jungkook is different from any other guy you’ve been with prior. For one, you didn’t meet via horny messages on Tinder at 1 a.m. For two, he’s older, meaning he’s much more intelligent and much more experienced. After years and years of honing in on his craft, he just knows how to fuck. Jungkook is one of the rare few penis-havers in the world who can orgasm back to back; no refractory period necessary. Truly a hidden gem. 

To put it simply, the man is a fucking faucet—one that you can turn off and on whenever you want. 

As if on cue, Jungkook twirls his inked finger, indicating for you to turn around. The other hand squeezes his cock just below the crown to cut off circulation, keeping himself erect. With that, your white converses are planted flat onto the sparse grass as you bend over the back seat, leaning your weight on your elbows. 

It's like whiplash when Jungkook's aggressive persona drops, and he's running his hands all over your body. Up your thighs, over your back, down your arms. He blooms petal-soft kisses on your bare shoulder before whispering in your ear. “Can I go in like this? Or do you need some foreplay?”

“This is fine,” you murmur, jarred by his sudden tenderness. “Perfect, actually.” 

With a hushed ‘alright,’ Jungkook reaches over you to rummage through the pocket of his discarded blazer. A heavy sigh escapes your lips as he pulls out a square foil packet. Condoms were an unwavering constant in your weekend escapades. Jungkook always wears condoms. Normally, that would be a great thing; however, in this situation, it’s like a stab to the heart…

Because if he’s adamant about using protection with you, then that means he’s still sleeping with her, doesn’t it? And it’s not like you can even ask or scold him about it. She’s his wife, after all. You’re the outsider. 

Jungkook hooks his thumb into your panties and pulls them aside. Your glistening folds are on full display, waiting to get pounded mercilessly right on the side of the road. He shoves three digits into your mouth, letting your drool on them a bit before pressing them to your wet cunt. Opening your folds with his index and ring fingers, he lightly dips the middle inside you. He collects some arousal and spreads it to your clit in feathery flicking motions. You cry out, feeling the shocks of a blossoming orgasm. 

“Already dripping, I see.” You can practically hear his cocky, satisfied grin as he stands straight and rolls the condom down his length. “Always so sensitive.”

“Mhm,” you nod frantically, “I always get like this with you.”

“I know you do.” Pulling a cheek to the side, Jungkook cards his sheathed tip through your entrance, making sure to nudge under your clitoral hood with every swipe. Lewd wet sounds ring in your ears as he tortures your hole relentlessly. 

“Kook,” you huff, reaching back to dig your manicured, almond-shaped nails into his skin. “Just put it in!”

Suddenly, Jungkook slams your torso onto the leather. In one swift motion, he’s catching your wrists, pinning them both to your lower back with a single hand. 

“I’ll give you what you want just-” releasing the back of your neck, he spanks you so hard you recoil, “be patient.”

Despite his words, you wait no longer than a minute before he’s guiding his dreamy member right where you want it. Jungkook always gives in quickly. How could he not when you’re ass up, face down, and practically begging? As he sinks into you, and you feel that familiar burn from the initial stretch, your eyes roll back, mouth opening around a silent scream. 

Usually, Jungkook likes to overwhelm you with his entire length all at once. There’s some hesitation this time as he slides in only halfway before stopping. Too much hesitation for your liking. You’re confident he’s testing you. Your assumption is verified when he speaks in that annoying, condescending voice.

“If you want it so bad, come get it.”

“You’re so,” breaking free from his grasp, you press your palms into the seat and lift yourself up with a grumble, “infuriating.”

He hums halfheartedly, head dropping to watch you work yourself onto him. Only a single stroke in, and he can already see you coating him in a shiny, milky dew. “So fucking wet…”

“Can’t help it,” you peep, taking him to the hilt and circling your hips, trying to savor the feeling. You’re no stranger to his cock; how good it makes you feel. You spend every Friday night bathing in that pleasure, forgoing parties and hangouts with your best friends for a romp in the five-star hotel sheets with Jungkook. Still, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to commit his touch to memory. Perhaps, despite your denial, you recognize that this is temporary. Deep down, you know that someday, all you’ll have left of him is a tragic echo. “I love the way you make me feel.”

“Me too,” he gasps, guiding your movements as his fingers dig into your hips. Clearly interpreting your admission differently than you had meant it. “Your pussy’s like heaven.” 

High on praise and drunk on the sounds you’re coaxing out of him, you whine, dragging your cunt up every inch of his throbbing length before slamming back. Hopefully, the dense forest behind you is enough to insulate the pornographic wails ripping through you. Even if someone somewhere hears, you can’t bring yourself to give a damn. Not when heady pleasure and adrenaline course through your veins like blood. 

Just when you’re about to collapse, arms giving out underneath you, Jungkook grabs you by the neck and holds you flush against his toned chest. “Don’t you run,” he chuckles. The low baritone rumble goes straight to your clit. His warm breath gusts over your skin, contrasting the chilly night air. “Don’t give up on me.”

He’s pounding into you now, choking you tighter than he ever has, but he pecks you so delicately. Lips barely ghosting over the shell of your ear. So gentle and tender. As tears stream down your cheeks for the second time tonight, you can’t help but feel there’s a hidden meaning behind his words.

“What’s wrong?” He smirks, tilting your face, wanting you to look him in the eye as you fall apart. The visual nearly makes you combust. His stringy hair is sticking to his cheeks, flushed from exertion. Even the tattoos littering the expanse of his neck are splotched pink and red. Twisting in his hold, you grab a fistful of his damp waves, fingers tickling his short undercut. “What do you want, baby?”

“Cum…”

“You wanna cum?”

“Please, please, please.” Weak whimpers punch out of you in tandem with his brutal thrusts.

“What do you say?”

“Please, sir?”

“Good girl,” he rewards you with a smack to your sensitive clit, “you can cum. I’ve got you.”

And with his permission, you’re cumming. Your legs shake violently as you’re overcome with blinding, electric gratification. If it wasn’t for Jungkook’s strong arms supporting you, you would’ve toppled face-first into the seat. He fucks you through the height of your orgasm; hips never ceasing, even when everything becomes so intense and sensitive that your body instinctively tries to push him away. He watches your face intently, reading your expressions to ensure he’s milked every last drop of your orgasm before he lets you fall onto the leather.

Even in your hazy state, you catch the breathy string of curses, a telltale sign of his own impending orgasm. “Fuck!” He groans, removing the condom to paint your ass and lower back in hot, white ropes. 

It’s funny, really. 

He refuses to cum with you or inside you, something so intimate and special, but he has no qualms cumming on you. It’s almost like he’s marking you, burning himself into your flesh. Consuming a piece of you every time your bodies come together as one. 

And all the while, his mind is somewhere else as his body swallows you alive. 

“Look at you,” Jungkook laughs, smoothing a palm up and down your spine, rubbing his semen into your skin the same way you had earlier. “I’ve made a mess out of you.” 

That’s true in more ways than one…

Lost in post-nut clarity, your brain barely registers Jungkook maneuvering you both into the car. Closing the door behind him, he moves you onto his lap, your back pressed against his sweaty button-up. Peering down, you see his slacks and boxers still around his ankles, black dress shoes poking out underneath. You’re in only a thong and sneakers, and your makeup is definitely melted. The two of you must look like the biggest sluts ever.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook mutters, noticing your delirious giggles. 

“Oh, nothing,” you hum, leaning into him. Habitually, he wraps both of his inked arms around your middle. You despise how incredibly natural and serendipitous it feels, almost like you’re meant to be in them.

God __, get your head out of the clouds and return to Earth. 

Life isn’t a romance novel, and you’re not a child anymore. You shouldn’t see the world as quartz-colored and magical. The man is seven years older than you. He has a wife and child. Logistically, it could never, ever work…

But if soulmates exist as they do in the books, you wish on every falling star that Jungkook is yours.

“What are you thinking about?” You coo softly, turning your head to stare into the abyss of his infinite eyes.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, he can’t resist lowering his sinful hand to your most private area, cupping your sex unabashedly. “I want more.”

“You always want more.” 

“So do you,” he laughs, pointing out the way you grind into his touch. Nuzzling into your shoulder, he nips your skin and then soothes his tongue over it like an insincere apology. “Just one more time, okay?”

You nod, head leaning back on his shoulder as you succumb to his skilled fingers, rubbing your clit in tight circles. Jungkook pauses in contemplation before popping his glistening fingers into his mouth. When the taste hits his tongue, his face contorts. He even moans dreamily like you’re the most delicious dessert he’s experienced. The scene has your own brows furrowing, lips parting at just how hot and bothered he’s got you. 

Sensually, he trails the wet pads down, ghosting over a nipple, teasing you on their treacherous journey to your waiting core. He slides them in your wet cunt seamlessly, curling right into your g-spot. They move in a dip and wave that drives you wild, a wet suction noise sounding in the enclosed space. Turned on by your purrs and mewls, Jungkook subtly ruts against you, his plumping cock sliding between your cheeks.

“You’re already close, aren’t you?” He tuts patronizingly. “Gonna cum around my fingers, sweetheart?”

“No…”

“No?”

“Wanna cum with you…”

He stops, realizing what you’re alluding to, before pulling his fingers out and tapping your clit gently. “There’s another condom in my pocket. Can you hand it to me?”

“We don’t need it.”

“Yes, we do. Don’t be foolish.”

“... I’m on the pill,” you suggest hesitantly. Once again, you’re nothing but stupid and irresponsible when it comes to Jungkook. You just want to be with him, that’s all. 

“__,” he starts, voice shadowed with sternness, “give me the condom.”

Realizing he won’t budge, you do as he asks and fish it from his blazer, watching idly as he goes through all the steps—stroking himself to full mass, rolling on a barrier, and then positioning you between his spread legs as he guides you down onto his length with a hand on your hip. 

Cyclical. 

Like clockwork, your jaw drops, eyes screwing shut as you let him invade your space and infiltrate your mind. You don’t believe the two of you have ever tried this position before, but it feels so fucking good. His cock is so deep you can feel it in your fucking stomach. It’s obvious from his groaning and the aggressive spank he gives you that the unexplored angle is affecting him too. 

Outside, light rain begins chiming against the steel roof of his car as you take the first shallow rise of your hips. 

Scratch everything you’ve said about this not being a romance novel.

Distracted by the calming sound, you thoroughly miscalculate how much space you have in his sleek Mercedes Benz and bonk your head on the ceiling.

“Ow,” you wince with an embarrassed giggle.

Hissing at the impact, Jungkook clutches your head, massaging the area gently. “Are you okay?” His voice is muffled, and you can tell he’s trying his best not to laugh. 

“It’s not funny!” You shout playfully, slapping his knee. 

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry.” Chuckling, he moves your hair and places a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades. “You’re cute, that's all.”

Cute? You swoon. 

“Alright baby, keep going. Don’t stop,” Jungkook orders, the heel of his calloused palms pushing at your ass, encouraging you to bounce on his needy cock. A fucked-out sigh escapes him, head falling back for a split second before it jerks back up again, not wanting to miss the view of your perky cheeks rippling as they collide with his solid pelvis. “This position is so sexy.” Overwhelmed, he doesn’t know where to put his hands. He chokes you for a moment, plays with your tits, swats them, grabs your hips, and then finally settles on your clit, flicking it like a light switch.

“Jungkook!” You wail, knees knocking together as you brace yourself. Men you’ve dated in the past struggled to get you off. Sure, they made you feel good, but they couldn’t quite bring you to the edge. It only ever took Jungkook a matter of minutes to have you whimpering and shaking, begging for release. “I can’t take so much! I can’t!”

Ignoring your pleas, Jungkook pilots your right arm around his shoulder, sending you flush against his frame once more. Dipping his head, he sucks the closest nipple into his mouth. Caught off guard, you’re so overstimulated that your hips come to a grinding halt.

“Move,” he commands with his lips sealed around your piercing, sending dizzying vibrations to your sensitive bud. 

“I can’t,” you whimper, back arching off his chest as you try to calm all five tingling senses. 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No…”

Jeon Jungkook was never one to take no for an answer. 

Scooting further down the seat, his large hands clasp behind your knees. He lifts your legs until the heels of your white sneakers are on either side of the driver’s headrest. In this new position, he’s able to pound up into you freely, relentlessly beating into clenching walls. Hitting every single delicious spot inside of you. “Jungkook, please!”

“Please, what?” Honestly, you have no clue what you’re begging for. All you know is that his mushroom tip rigorously stimulating your g-spot is going to have you gushing at any moment. His guttural, sensual groaning does nothing to slow your approaching orgasm. “You want more?” 

As if you weren’t already gasping for air, Jungkook raises your legs to your head, knees locked onto his inner elbows. His fingers intertwine behind your neck, thumbs pressing into the base of your throat as he folds you in half. 

A full fucking nelson. 

“Watch me fuck it.” With a stern grip, he forces your gaze to his thick shaft, sliding in and out of your sopping cunt. Your vision is watery, but you can clearly see just how turned on you are, creamy juices coating his entire shaft. “Open it, baby. Watch what I do to you.” 

Reaching both hands under your thighs, you spread your lips, getting a better look at him completely destroying you.

“Isn’t it so pretty?” Jungkook grunts, speech slurred as his arousal lulls him into a delirious, catatonic state. “Tell me what you see, baby.”

“So pretty, Kook.” You’re simply playing into his dirty talk, but the sight of your bodies connecting, becoming one, is profoundly gorgeous. “So wet…”

“Yeah? Who’s pussy is this?”

“Yours.”

That sends him into a frenzy, thrusts becoming so punctuated and violent that his cock accidentally slips out. 

“Put it back in, put it back in!” You chant, frantically shoving his length into you. The yelp you chortle out is accompanied by the sound of your hand smacking against the foggy car window as your climax engulfs you. “I love it!”

“I love yo-”

He quickly cuts himself off, but everything stops when the sentence fragment hits the air. 

Is your brain playing sick, twisted jokes on you… or was he really just about to say he loved you?

Before you can even process what’s happening, your biological responses take over, sending through the most earth-shattering, world-bending, mind-boggling orgasm you’ve ever had. Everything goes blank. Your eyes cloud with splotches and stars. Your ears ring with static and white noise, blurring the sound of Jungkook cumming underneath you, and the pouring rain outside, splashing against concrete. 

This time, he doesn’t pull out, just works through both of your orgasms with gentle ruts and vulnerable whimpers.

After you’ve both calmed down and your heaves have diminished to a slow, even pattern, he pulls out, crumpling the used condom into a loose napkin he found in the center console. Still on his lap and in his arms, you watch intently as Jungkook leans his head back, eyes closing as he inhales deeply. To you, he looks almost… peaceful. 

The moon trickles in through the thin streams on the window, reflecting on his face like stained glass—something that was once so clear and pure now jaded with somber shades of blue. Sad, but still beautiful, you think. 

Delicately, you trace a finger over the black ink decorating his skin. You sit silently for a while, basking in the comfortable aura, simply enjoying one another’s company, before you finally speak.

“Why this?” You peep, pointing to the dainty letters at the base of his neck.

“It’s my daughter’s name.” He counters playfully, the faintest hint of a smile on his pierced lips.

“Well, duh, I know that,” you roll your eyes with a giggle, “but why here?”

“Yul is like air to me.” 

Humming in contemplation, you continue your journey over the endless swirls and loops. During sex, the first three buttons of his shirt popped open, exposing the canvas of his chest. You feel a thick, dark cloud loom over you when you reach a certain tattoo, the one that’s plagued your mind ever since you first saw it. 

Another name is engraved right above his heart in the same delicate font as Yul’s:

Seol. 

“Yul, please. Enough.” If Jungkook had a dollar for every time he's said that in the last twenty-two minutes, he’d be nearly as rich as his boss, sitting directly in front of him on a very important Zoom call. “Daddy is working.”

Jumping at the sudden inflection of his voice, the little girl on his lap pulls her tiny hand away. For the most part, Yul was well-behaved. However, working from home proved to be an obstacle that he and his clingy toddler have yet to overcome. 

She’s interrupted his meeting three times already. First, cutting off his proposal with the Baby Shark theme song, blaring from her Pinkfong tablet that he’d forgotten to mute. Second, peeking above his desk with her space buns and doe eyes to show his colleagues the latest addition to her squishmallow collection. The last straw was when she squeezed his nose. 

With watery eyes and warbled lips, Yul blinks at Jungkook, heartbroken and confused as to why he didn’t make that funny noise she loves so much. Quickly, her gaze averts to her chunky legs, swinging aimlessly as she attempts to hold back the tears.

“Excuse me for a moment,” Jungkook sighs, tacking on an apology before turning his screen off. “Bunny,” he lifts her chin with his index finger, another palm flat on her protruding tummy, “please, don’t cry. You’re not in trouble. Daddy just-”

The ring of a doorbell interrupts him.

“__?” Jungkook questions, baby at his hip as he stands in the doorway before you. “What are you doing here?”

You gulp. You weren’t expecting to see him.

Usually, you spoke to Seulgi. You’ve only ever seen Jungkook in passing, sparing quick greetings before he’s out the door. It worked in your favor, really, because for whatever reason, you felt extremely awkward around him.

Almost like that gross nervousness you get when you’re around someone you find so incredibly attractive it makes you uncomfortable…

Maybe it’s because he’s covered in tattoos and piercings. Maybe it’s because he’s a dad. Your group of fellow horny twenty-something-year-old friends have told you mythical stories and fantasies about older men. Freshly turned thirty-year-old men. Men like Jungkook. Dilfs. Something about that potent dad nut… Like, you know it works. 

It’s inappropriate; you know it is. You’ve always tried your best to ignore the feral thoughts.

Today seems to be putting your mental strength to the test because Jungkook is dressed in baggy gray sweats, long dark hair slicked back into a ponytail. A few loose strands dangle devilishly in front of his eyes, taunting you.

“I-It’s 10… I’m supposed to be babysitting.”

“I’m working from home today. My wife didn’t tell you?”

With wide eyes and hot cheeks, you shake your head. “I’m sorry for bothering you,” you stutter, stepping back and preparing to make a mad dash to your hand-me-down Honda Civic. “I’ll just… be on my way then.” 

“Actually.” An icy grip on your wrist stops you. “I could use some help. This one-” he nods his head towards Yul, stuck to him like velcro, “-is being a bit needy today.” 

One look at her turns your flustered gape into a smile. The past month with her has been more difficult than you’d imagined. Yul was incredibly sweet and intuitive, but unbearably shy. Building a relationship with the girl was challenging, but you were determined to overcome it. “No way,” you frown animatedly, tickling her leg with the tip of your finger, “Yul would never.”

A giggle or two had been the goal. Instead, she buries her face into her father’s shoulder.

“Don’t take it personally,” Jungkook orders, noticing the defeated slump in your shoulders. “She’s always like this with new people.”

Seulgi had warned you that Yul would take a while to come around. Hopefully, it’ll happen organically. But for now, a little gift or two wouldn’t hurt your efforts, you supposed last night while running errands. Reaching into your purse, you pull out a bottle of non-toxic, baby-friendly nail polish. “Yul, look what I have!”

“Wow,” Jungkook plays along, gently nudging her head out of his neck. “Bunny, look!”

He calls her Bunny? 

You’re in for it now. 

Plump fingers wrap around the plastic, taking it out of your own with an awe-stricken stare. She holds it up right in front of Jungkook’s nose. “Pink.”

“Mhm, that’s right,” he confirms, pecking her temple. “Now, Daddy has to get back to work. Can you stay with __ for a bit?”

She looks at him, then at you, then at him again, then back at you, and finally, landing on the nail polish, giving her father a reluctant nod. You knew it would come in handy. Despite her agreeance, Yul still stretches the neck of his shirt with her tiny fists as she’s transferred into your arms. 

Somehow, you managed to survive that painfully awkward encounter…

Only to be thrown into another one immediately after. 

See, you’ve always known Yul was a daddy’s girl. On good days, the toddler would grab you by the hand and guide you around the house, giving you a tour of everything that belonged to her father. His shoes at the door. His coat on the hook. Even taking you into the bathroom to show you his shampoo bottle. But that fact was never more apparent than now, as Yul stands in the middle of the living room on the verge of tears.

“Daddy?”

“He’s working, sweetheart. Remember?” You coo on your knees in front of her. You’re quick to redirect her. “I like your shoes.”

The sniffles stop as she glances down at her white sneakers. “Mine…” she takes a hesitant step back, mistaking your compliment as an attempt to swindle her out of them. 

“That’s right,” you laugh, “they’re so pretty, just like you.”

She blinks at you for a moment, and then begins stomping her little foot: heel first. When she’s finally able to kick off her left shoe, she bends all the way over, pressing her palms flat against the hardwood floor. It’s the most uncoordinated way you’ve ever seen anyone pick something up. 

Without warning, Yul throws the shoe across the room. Well, that had been her intention, you assume. She had cocked her arm back too far and released too early, making it land behind her. 

Oh no, she hates you. 

With an excited grunt and a bounce, Yul points to the sneaker—its clear sole sparkling pink and purple.

“Oh,” you sigh in relief. “They light up?” 

“Yesh.” Plopping right onto her butt, she takes the other one off, repeating the process. “Like this!” Her arms stretch out and she clenches her two little front teeth, executing the most stellar charade of a light you’ve ever seen. 

It’s a small breakthrough, but you’ll take it. 

Then you paint her nails, just like you said you would. She’s as patient as a toddler could be, but her tiny toe keeps curling under the tickle of the brush, making pink polish bleed outside of the lines. 

“My goodness,” you groan, admiring the messy, albeit adorable, result. “You’re so cute! Wait until your dad sees you.” 

Yul shrieks wildly, smacking both hands over her mouth as she hobbles to her feet. You watch with confused giggles as the milk-drunk baby stumbles down the corridor. You figure out where she's going too late. 

Yul stands on her tippy toes, jumping to click open the door to Jungkook’s office with a loud creak. 

“Yul!” You whisper-shout. “Don’t-”

“Daddy!” She calls, stepping a single foot into the room, showing off the fresh paint job. “So cute!” 

Literally, your only job today was to keep Yul preoccupied while Jungkook worked, and you failed. Your breath catches in your throat, awaiting his response. 

“So pretty,” he gasps, “now go play, baby. I’m almost done.” 

A relieved exhale flies past your lips. 

Something you’ve picked up on from years of babysitting is that little girls aren’t allowed to compliment themselves. They’re always told it’s rude or conceited. Jungkook does neither, and you find that so refreshing. 

“Close the door, please,” he orders before she runs away, “gently.” Yul does her very best to shut the door quietly and then sprints back to you. 

The next few hours go smoothly. You discovered that the green-hating toddler has an affinity for avocados after giving her a bite of your toast. “Mmm!” She had hummed, looking at you with wide eyes. With a full belly and squishmallow in hand, Yul went out like a light for her afternoon nap, giving you time to catch up on some reading. 

“How was she?” You didn’t even hear him come out of his office, so the deep voice makes you jump, eyes tracking the sound. He’s leaning against a kitchen counter, one tattooed hand stuffed in his pocket and the other wrapped around a water bottle. It’s a thick one too, and his fingers still touch. 

“Better,” you cough, “she’s sleeping now.”

He hums halfheartedly, dark irises boring into you as he takes a sip. Without Yul to soften the edges, Jungkook is… intimidating, to say the least. “What are you reading?”

“The Catcher in the Rye…” you peep, quickly closing it. “I know, it’s kinda lame.”

“No, not lame at all. Anyone who thinks that is lying to themselves… or is just being a contrarian.” He leans his elbows against the dark granite island, fingers crossing as he stares at you. You’re sitting idle across the room, but his presence looms over you. He has this way of making you feel like he’s in your head, listening to everything you’re thinking. 

You pray he’s not. If he is, you'll definitely be fired. 

“I can’t tell which one you are yet.”

You can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but the ‘yet’ makes you come clean, shifting in your spot on the leather couch. “... Both.”

“Right,” he smirks, tongue fiddling with his lip ring, almost like he’s taunting you. “That’s one of my favorite books, actually. I relate to it in many ways.”

Your fingers dance across the red cover, concealing hundreds of pages of isolation, emptiness, and the heavy dread of passing time. What an awful thing to relate to. Sometimes, when you get too engrossed in the text, glimmers of yourself bleed within the lines too. 

“You’re an English major, right?”

“Oh, um, I’m not in school at the moment… I just read for fun.”

“Well, you have an Associate’s degree.” Him knowing that information about you makes you think he asked the previous question with the intention of baiting you into this conversation. “Why not get your Bachelor’s?”

“I don’t know. It’s… complicated.” 

Why is he interrogating you? What does he want? For you to confess that the fear of becoming a full-fledged adult makes you not want to go back to college? 

“Life is complicated. You’d be ridiculous to not go back.” The audacity should make you mad, but he speaks with so much authority that you’re dumbfounded. His head tilts, eyes squinting as they shift to the ceiling, debating something. His tongue clicks when he finally makes his decision. “Follow me; I have something I want to show you.” 

With the curl of two thick fingers, Jungkook calls you to follow him down the hallway. You blink for a moment, gushing at the suggestive motion of his hand. Shaking your head at the evil, intrusive thought, you rise to your feet. 

Just like a child, you have to skip to catch up to his long strides. Your gaze trails along white walls; there are pictures of him and Yul, Yul and Seulgi, but not a single one of them all together. 

Now that you think about it, any affection you’ve ever seen in the household was reserved for Yul and Yul only. Seems like trouble in paradise…

You shouldn’t speculate.

The heavy wooden door creaks as Jungkook holds it open for you. You’re not sure what you expected his room to look like, but it certainly wasn’t this. The rest of the house is pretty modern, consisting of sleek blacks, whites, and woods. Countertops designed with icy swirled marble. Everything has this cold, impersonal vibe, but this room is the total opposite. The walls are baby blue, decorated top to bottom with dreamy clouds. You spot a chubby yellow star peeking out from underneath one of them, adorned with a hand-painted smiley face. On his nightstand, there’s a pastel purple foldable record player. Standing behind it is a single vinyl: Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. 

“Since you like to read,” Jungkook coughs, turning your attention to a sleek bookcase, stuffed to the brim with hundreds of titles you’ve never even heard of. “I figured you’d appreciate my collection.”

“Yeah, it’s…” The words trail off as you step forward. On a whim, your finger extends, tracing the delicate spine of a well-loved book. A low chuckle brings you back to reality; you peep, cheeks heating up in embarrassment as you yank your hand away. “It’s… really cool.”

“You can borrow something if you’d like. Does anything catch your eye?” Plopping down onto the computer chair, Jungkook rummages through his desk drawer and pulls out a tiny black case. You didn’t even know he wore glasses, and when he nudges them comfily onto the bridge of his nose, you nearly melt. As if he could get any more attractive.

“N-No,” you stutter as he wheels closer. Even though you’re towering over him, you still feel so small in his presence. You pray to God he can’t sense how incredibly nervous he makes you. “Not really.” 

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, you know,” he hums, low and sly. “Do I make you nervous?”

“No!” You peep in shock. Is the man a fucking mindreader? 

“Right.” Jungkook peers over the rim of his lenses, dark eyes glimmering in the whimsical glow of the room. “So __, what do you want to be?”

“A teacher,” you say, playing with your fingers.

“My wife wanted to be a teacher, too.” He shoots you the softest, gentlest smile. “She ended up doing business instead.” 

“Why?” You ask, gnawing on your bottom lip. You don’t mean to pry, but this is the first time you’ve ever actually talked to him in a meaningful way. Something about him intrigues you, like a puzzle you’re determined to find all the pieces to. 

“Ah, well,” he sighs, inked fingers scratching at the back of his neck. “We figured it’d be best for our family if we both pursued more lucrative career paths. I switched my major from English to finance.” You light up at the confession, the similarity putting you at ease. “I’m sorry if I was abrasive earlier,” he frowns, “I settled down young and had to sacrifice a lot, so I encourage you to go for something that fulfills you.” With his elbows on his knees, he leans closer to you. “I think you’d be a fantastic teacher. You take care of my daughter well.”

“Thank you,” you peep, cheeks heating up at the compliment. “I mean… you didn’t have Yul that young.” He tried to comfort you, so it’s only fair you do the same, right? “I think your late twenties are a great time to have children.”

Almost immediately, his face drops, eyes glazing over with something so raw. So… longing. You’ve never seen anything like it before. The corners of his nose twitch before he composes himself. “Yeah, I suppose they are.” His pink tongue toys with his lip ring, swiftly changing the subject. “You seem surprised.” 

“I guess I just wasn’t expecting all this.” 

“Expecting what?” 

“I don’t know,” you laugh clumsily, “books.” You mentally curse yourself as soon as the answer comes out. Really, __? Books? 

“What?” He starts, raising a brow at you. “You thought I couldn’t read?”

Thankfully, Jungkook takes your comment playfully. 

“Maybe,” you respond in the same lighthearted manner, feeling a bit more comfortable in his presence, “I also didn’t expect your room to look like a little boy’s room.”

All of the cheerfulness in the air evaporates as Jungkook glares at you with a clenched jaw and flared nostrils. Cleary irate. You’ve triggered a landmine.

“Jungkook, I’m-”

“Stop talking.” He raises a hand, cutting you off before you finish the sentence. Turning his back to you, he wheels over to his desk. “You can leave. You’re done for the day.” 

Looking back, you know why he was so upset that day. You had put the puzzle pieces together a while ago. You’re unsure of the details, and asking for them feels wrong. Silence feels wrong, too, though. Until now, you’ve never dared to speak up. 

You have no idea how to navigate something of this magnitude, but you just want him to know that you’re here. That you’re trying.

Cautiously, with your hand still on the tattoo, you whisper: “He must’ve been so beautiful, Jungkook…”

The thumb that had been drawing soft shapes into your side comes to an eerie pause as he freezes under you. When you look at him, your heart shatters. His chin is caved in with little dents, eyes glazed over with so much emotion. You’ve never seen a human being look so broken.

“Get off me.”

You frown at the shift in his demeanor. “Why?”

Remaining tight-lipped, Jungkook physically removes you from his lap, dumping you onto the seat next to him.

“Why can’t we ever talk about anything serious?”

He remains quiet as he slides his underwear up, not sparing you a single glance. When he speaks, his tone is painfully detached. “Like what?”

“Like what you said,” you answer curtly. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were about to.”

Shaking his head with a cynical chuckle, he begins buttoning his pants, pretending you don’t exist. Like you’re not right beside him, falling to pieces. 

Your eyes dart to the ceiling, lashes fluttering rapidly as you mull over what to say next. You guess now would be an appropriate time to ask him what you’ve wanted for weeks. Blinking does nothing to combat your unshed tears when you realize that his answer has the potential to destroy everything you’ve been dreaming about. Everything you’ve hoped for. “When are you going to leave her?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous, Jungkook!” Shaking your head furiously, you feel the first hints of anger in your chest, tears threatening to spill at any moment. “I’m not! I see the way you look at me!”

“What the fuck did you think was going to happen? Huh?” Finally, he’s paying attention to you, just not in the way you hoped. His face is beet red as he leans closer. “Don’t tell me you actually thought we were going to end up together, __. Seriously? You’re my babysitter! You’re seven years younger than me! This isn’t some fucking fairytale; it’s life! There’s no such thing as happily-ever-afters—grow up and stop acting like a damn child!”

“No, Jungkook,” you croak, fully sobbing as you push an angry finger into his chest. “You’re the one who’s acting childish! I may not be the most mature person, but at least I know how to accept love!”

“So let’s say I divorce my wife, then what? Huh?” He seethes. “I get partial custody? I only see Yul on weekends? Every other week? She grows up in a broken home? I refuse to ruin my daughter’s life like that.”

You take a shaky breath, eyes shifting to the car floor, the air fresher on his mirror, the window. Anywhere but him. The way Jungkook explains your make-believe future together is nothing how you envisioned it. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s just a fucking asshole. Neither thought process eases the pain.

“But you’re okay with ruining mine?”

For a moment, his features soften, and you see a glimmer of guilt wash over him. It fizzles out just as fast as it came. “You’re being dramatic.” Jungkook steps outside, tucking his shirt into his pants. “Get dressed.” 

With jittery hands and blurry eyes, you grab your discarded lace bra, the one you had bought just for tonight, and slide it on your shoulders. When you pick your shirt up, you see that it’s ripped and tattered. Completely destroyed. 

“Here,” Jungkook mumbles, tossing you his blazer as he watches you in the rearview. 

Once you’re dressed, you awkwardly slide into the passenger seat. The scent of his cologne makes your head pound and your stomach flip. 

“I want to go home.”

His lips part, preparing to persuade you otherwise. The hotel room he booked is ready and waiting, just as it is every Friday. He decides against it, simply murmuring an ‘okay’ before putting the keys in the ignition and starting the engine. 

“Do you want to get something to eat before I drop you off?” 

You just want your dad. 

“I just want to go home.”

Other than the whoosh of splashing puddles and your soft sniffles, the ride to your house is painfully silent. Leaning your head against the window, you watch the moon. For miles and miles, it never changes. It’s stagnant, frozen in time, surrounded by nothing but endless blackness. 

“Stop crying! I can’t stand it anymore!” Jungkook shouts, hitting the steering wheel with his open palm, finally growing uncomfortable from your non-stop tears. The sudden outburst makes you flinch. Sighing heavily, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just… stop crying, please.”

You sink further into your seat, curling your lips into your mouth to suppress a sob.

“I’m not worth your tears, __.”

You feel nothing but relief when he finally turns onto your street, stopping all the way at the end, concealed by the night and the shadows of overhanging trees. 

“Am I picking you up next Friday?” He asks just before you leave. 

With raw cheeks and a scowl, you slam the door in his face. 

Your feet are so heavy that the sidewalk sinks under you like quicksand. No matter how many steps you take, the comfort of your house seems out of reach. Too far gone. Confusion weighs on your shoulders. You should feel proud, empowered even, but that voice in the back of your mind smothers any sense of relief. 

Deep down, you know this isn’t going to be the last weekend you spend with Jungkook. 

© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost]

[lincolndjarin]

ride cowgirl! ★ (agent whiskey x reader)

(18+ mdni) pairings : agent whiskey x afab!reader summary : you like to make bets with your coworker for simple things, what happens when he decides he wants to raise the stakes? warnings & tags : no use of y/n, smut, sort of dubcon there's reluctance but everything is consensual, porn with plot, this ended up actually being mostly plot lmao, p in v sex, unprotected sex, forced orgasm, light bondage, use of restraints, fully clothed sex, pet names, size kink, praise, whiskey big dick truther word count : 2.3k a/n : first new fic post on the new blog!!! I had so much fun with this thank you so much to the person who requested it !! one of my google forms anon requests was for anything whiskey!! (I put the request at the end) this was the direction I went in >:) this was meant to be a drabble but I got carried away immediately. enjoy!! (this was edited super fast bc i'm tired after work lmao, so apologies for any mistakes)

It was a stupid deal. 

And you never should have made it. 

Of course it’s a little late for that now, when he’s already tying your hands behind your back with his ridiculous flask belt. 

“This wasn’t a part of the original agreement.” You grumble as he pulls the leather tight. That smug smile on his face. 

“You said, anyway I wanted it. This is how I want it.” He leans back against the headboard to admire his work. His eyes focused on the way your chest pushes out now with your arms forced behind you until you cough to get his attention. He takes his time before letting his eyes crawl back up to your face, still grinning ear to ear. 

“Can we just get this over with?” You groan. 

“Oh come on, gorgeous.” He’s loosening his tie, his smile never falters. “I already told you we don’t have to do this. I’ve offered you several outs and you keep turning them down. Besides,” He flashes his teeth at you in a toothy grin. “it’s no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 

That’s exactly what he’d said when you’d made this deal a week ago. 

“I think I want your hat.” You said rather confidently. The two of you had a long standing rivalry. You were placing bets nearly every week at this point. The winner was whoever had the most successful missions. It had started off simple. The loser has to take the other out to dinner, or pay for drinks after a night out. 

After a few months of that you’d gone out with Whiskey more times then you’d gone on any dates. 

Then you decided to raise the stakes. 

The other person's paycheck that week, a piece of tech the other had, at one point your mothers phone number was on the line. (Thankfully that week you had won.)

This week you were feeling lucky. So you pointed at his cowboy hat, he was never seen without. 

“If I win I want your hat.” You cock your head to the side, smirking. 

“You have a hat already.” He was typing up a mission report, you had come in as you always did on Monday mornings. 

“Nice observation agent, how’d you figure that out?” You took a pen from the mug on his desk, rapidly clicking it in an attempt to get under his skin. “That doesn’t change my mind, I don’t want my hat. I want yours.”

He sighs in irritation, taking the pen from you and moving the mug to the other side of his computer. 

“And if you win you can have mine.” You flick the rin of his hat as you say it and he finally turns to glare at you. 

“I don’t want your hat, I already have a hat.” 

“Someone’s in a bad mood today.” You whisper theatrically as he turns back to his work. 

“I’ve got a lot of paperwork to get through darlin’ so let’s hurry this up.” 

“I already told you. I want your hat, if you don’t want mine then pick something else.” 

He turns in his desk chair completely to face you now. Annoyance visible on his face. 

“If I win, then you wear my hat.” As he speaks he cracks the first smile you’ve seen on him all morning. 

“You aren’t making any sense, are you still waking up? Do you want me to go get you some coffee?” You laugh but he leans forward. Even though you were up on the desk and he was in his chair he was still nearly face to face with you. 

“Darlin’ you can be so cute sometimes.” You have no idea what he means but his voice has a condescending tone that makes you scowl. 

“Stop being coy and just clarify.” His first signs of a smile turn into a full blown grin. 

“Wear the hat, ride the cowboy.” He whispers, you’re about to slap him for making such a crass joke but he looks completely serious. 

“That’s not funny. What do you really want?” You pray he doesn’t see the goosebumps on your arms at his words, you spend so much time with him yet he’s never made a pass at you. You’ve watched him hit on countless women these last few months but he’s never turned his attention towards you quite like this. 

“I told you. You win, you get my hat. I win, you wear it.” He has to be messing with you. You want to believe that he’s just trying to push your buttons but you know purely based on the way he looks at you that he couldn’t be more serious. 

It’s an insane offer. But it’s not like you haven’t thought about it. Who wouldn’t be curious about what he must whisper to get women to come home with him, what he must promise them. 

Stop. You can’t seriously be considering this. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. Obviously I’m not doing that.” You get up to leave. Embarrassed by the entire situation. 

“You win, you get my hat and the Bronco. I win, you wear the hat.” You’re already walking out when he says it and you stumble a bit before turning back to stare at him slack jawed. 

“You’d give me your car?” The disbelief in your tone is palpable. 

“If you won.”

And you just couldn’t say no. It was too good of an offer. 

So you set up ground rules. 

You wanted your clothes to stay on, at least as much as possible for the situation. Which he agreed to, so long as the two of you did it “how ever he wanted.” You didn’t realize until much later what that entailed. And of course there was the fact that he wanted you to enjoy it. An odd request all things considered, but he said it was important to him that you had a good time. 

“It's no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 

He had insisted that if you weren’t into it that he would stop, especially if he thought you were faking it. 

Once everything was decided the two of you shook hands. 

And then, by some cruel trick of fate, you had fumbled not one, not two, not even three, but all of your missions that week. A feat that has never happened to you in the entire history of your employment with Statesman. 

So that’s how you ended up like this. 

Fully clothed other than your discarded panties, straddling your most annoying coworker, who’s sitting underneath you, dressed the same as always except his pants are unzipped, with his belt around your wrists. 

“Just let me know when you’re ready darlin’, take your time. I can wait all night, I've got nothing else planned.” 

You could tell him no. You should. You just don't want to.

The second you did he would take the belt off your wrists, hand you your panties (the ones you pretended you didn’t see him shove in his pocket when you threw them on the bed,) and send you on your way. And he’d do it all with a smile. 

Of course you can’t let that happen, that would just mean that he’s won, again. 

He wouldn’t even tell anyone, not that anyone knew about the deal to begin with. But he’d never tease you for bailing, he’d just make you live with the knowledge that you bit off more than you could chew. 

And worst of all, if you had won, you know for a fact that he would have handed over the keys to his car with zero hesitation. 

So you roll your eyes and nod. 

He clicks his tongue, leaning forward, his hands rub your thighs, pushing your skirt up further. 

“Tell me you want it sweetheart.” He taunts, making you sigh loudly. 

It’s not that you don’t want it. God knows you want it. You crave it. But you can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

“I want it.” You say, almost comically emotionless which has him frowning, sitting up straighter. 

“Let’s just call it. You clearly don’t, and I’m not interested in an unenthusiastic partner.” He begins to lift you off of his hips but you push against him, properly sitting yourself in his lap. 

“Give me a second, Jesus. I’m not even warmed up, just- I need a minute. We’re doing this.” There’s a determination in your voice that stops his efforts.

There are a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. 

“Do you want me to… warm you up?” It’s the first time he’s dropped the cocky facade since you started this ordeal. 

“No. I think I’m okay. Let’s do this.” You nod a few times, almost like you’re hyping yourself up. The two of you hadn’t factored in a lot of the logistical details of this deal, more specifically foreplay. 

As he pulls himself out of his jeans you’re starting to wish that you had. He isn’t even completely hard yet and you aren’t entirely sure how you’re going to take all of it. 

He unceremoniously spits into his hand before gripping himself at the base, steadily stroking himself. 

It’s like he’s a porn star and you’ve got front row seats to a private show. 

You’re close enough that when he leans forward, softly grunting, his face brushes against yours. His cock becoming fully erect in his hand, you hope he doesn’t hear you gulp. 

As he jerks himself off, his free hand reaches up, removing his hat before placing it onto your head. It’s a little too big for you so it tilts to one side. He gives you a lopsided grin before picking up his pace. You watch with wide eyes. 

He’s too big. 

In every way possible. 

He’s too long, he’s too thick, he’s simply too much. 

And you can’t tell him that. He’s smug enough as is, if you say “actually nevermind. you’re dick’s too big I couldn’t possibly fuck you.” he’ll be even more insufferable than he already is. But much to your chagrin he already knows what you’re thinking. 

“You still sure you don’t want me to warm you up?” His nerves are clearly gone as he chuckles before hissing through his teeth. His thumb brushes over his pink, weeping tip. 

“I’m fine. Ready when you are.” Not true. 

“Maybe I could free your wrists. You can do it yourself if you don’t want me to do it.” He’s reaching behind you and you once again halt his efforts. 

“No. We’re doing this your way.” 

You’re certainly overestimating your abilities, but he doesn’t need to know that. 

You scoot forward in his lap until his cock is resting between your thighs. You sit up on your knees and he lines himself up at your entrance. 

“Last chance to back out, sugar.” With that final taunt from him you sink down onto him without warning. Barely taking more than an inch before you drop your chin to your chest so he can’t see your face as he simultaneously leans back to rest against the headboard once more. 

It feels like he’s splitting you in half. 

His hands return to your thighs. His palms splayed against you as his thumbs rub comforting circles against your flesh. 

The sting is all you can think of but buried beneath it all is a heat that threatens to consume you. 

You lift your head to look at him. He’s lost a bit of his bravado as he runs his fingers through his hair. You don’t give him (or yourself to be fair) a chance to adjust. You have a desperate need to watch him unravel despite the ache between your legs. 

You take a deep breath before you take nearly half of him in one rock of your hips. 

The stretch is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, the heat in your stomach is bubbling over as you let out a moan you’ve never heard from yourself before. His grip on your thighs is tight enough now that you’re certain you’ll have to wear a longer skirt tomorrow. 

“Christ darlin’.” He stutters out, his eyes are squeezed shut and you couldn’t be more proud. 

“Is this enthusiastic enough for you?” You manage to grunt out between your small gasps. 

He mumbles something that sounds like a yes.

You have to wait longer this time before moving again, you wait until the pain eases itself away and is replaced with that heat you’ve been pursuing. Only then do you try taking more of him, you don’t manage all of it but you take most of him after a bit of effort. The entire time his eyes are trained on you, a look of admiration on his face. 

“You are something else, gorgeous.” He whispers.

His low drawl shoots straight to your core and god you’re sure he knows it. He whimpers when your walls clench around him.

You haven’t even started properly riding him and you’re close. 

The way he fills you has you seeing stars. You would love to try and banter with him right now, tease him, but you’re too far gone. Too focused on the way his tongue pokes out to wet his lips as he lets out a soft whine before squeezing your hips.

“Let me touch you, please.” He mutters breathlessly.

You aren’t one to deny good southern manners. 

You give him a nod and he wastes no time as he rubs your clit with the pads of his fingers frantically, like he’s trying to make you cum as fast as possible. You’re confused as to why for only a moment because your climax approaches so rapidly it nearly knocks the wind out of you. Your hips stutter as you sit, finally fully impaled on his length, in an instant your vision is a searing hot white. His hat tilts forward on your head, briefly covering your eyes. You’re left breathless in his lap, when you come down from your high he’s grinning at you.

“I win again darlin’.” 

You groan as you recall the conversation you’d had right before he had tied your hands behind your back. 

“If I finish first you can have my hat, if you do, then I get to finish inside you.” 

“Absolutely not.”

“If I finish first you can have the Bronco.”

“...Fine.”

a/n : requester ily, thank youuu

[moose-muffin]

im new here (hiya from the hazbin tag lol) but if you do character + character requests than please PLEASE gimmie a lee!vox with ler!alastor 🙏🙏🙏hear me out... the two are fighting and al (sHocKINglY) wins out, and vox expects to like.. be beaten into the ground as a result, but nope!! he gets tickled!!! to tears!!!! smthn smthn he wasnt smilin and, yk, youre never fully dressed w/o a smile!!!

/nf to do tho ty for reading!!! <3<3

OMG OMG HELLO WELCOME I HOPE YOURE DOING GOOD YIPPEE

SO FUN FACT I WAS VERY LIKE NEUTRAL TO RADIOSTATIC BUT TONIGHT HAS BEEN (HAHAH GET IT) AN ADVENTURE AND THIS ROAD HAS BEEN SUCH A BLAST <3 THOSE TWO FUCKERS ARE SO INSTIGATIVE ITS CRAZY.

I KNOWWWW THIS AS A FIC WOULD GO C R A Z Y!!!!! IDK IF ANYONE HERE WRITE FOR VOX AND ALASTOR AND PERHAPS DOES COMMISSIONS BUT I WILL PAY!!!! PLEASE HIT ME UP OR ILL PROBABLY GO TAKE A PEAK FOR MYSELF TMR <3 AS LONG AS THATS OK ANON. (I WILL ABSOLUTELY LET IT BE POSTED AS LONG AS THE AUTHOR IS OK WITH IT WHICH USUALLY THEY ARE!!!!) IM GONNA TAKE SOME CREATIVE LIBERTIES AS I TYPICALLY DO HEADCANONS!

IM NOT USUALLY A CHARACTER + CHARACTER GIRLY SO BEAR WITH ME BUT I WILL DO MY VERY BEST!!!! HOPEFULLY I CAN DO THIS JUSTICE! IT WILL BE RANDOM HCS THAT ARE UNRELATED TOO. MY BRAIN IS A MESSY PLACE HWBSHWDBD

OK SO LIKE I KINDA MENTIONED, THEY BOTH LOOOOVE TO JUST GET UNDER PEOPLES SKIN. LOVE IT!!! ESPECIALLY ALASTOR. HES SUCH AN ASS (affectionate)

I’D EVEN SAY HE’S KIND OF AN INSTIGATIVE LER???? BRO IS DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO GET TO TICKLE VOX LIKEEE IDK IF THAT EVEN MAKES SENSE BUT I KNOW ITS TRUE. HE WILL CASUALLY WIGGLE HIS FINGERS IN CONVERSATION, TWEAK HIS RIBS FROM BEHIND, LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT. WELL THEYRE NOT LITTLE. ESPECIALLY NOT TO VOX WHO IS SO FLUSTERED BY IT… ITS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

BUT! VOX HAS STARTED TO FIGURE IT OUT. AS HE IS ALSO ONE WHO LOVEEES TO GET UNDER SKIN, HE DECIDES HE’LL DO EVERYTHING TO TRIGGER A LER MOOD IN ALASTOR. IF HE CAN TELL HE ALREADY HAS ONE, HE FINDS WAYS TO SUBTLY (WE ALL KNOW HE ISNT SUBTLE THOUGH) LEAVE A SPOT UNPROTECTED. BUT ALASTOR DOESNT WANT TO GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION!!! HE TRIES SO HARD TO NOT GIVE IN TO VOX BC HE “WANTED TO BE THE ONE IN CONTROL” AND NOW HE ISNT AND HES #PISSED

ALSO VOX ABSOLUTELY IS HORRIFIED OF VULNERABILITY. YET HE IS ABLE TO MOVE PAST IT WITH ALASTOR HERE. SOMEHOW HE ISNT AS WORRIED ANYMORE. MAYBE HE KNOWS ALASTOR WILL REACT. HE LOVES THAT SO VERY MUCH.

AS FOR THE SPECIFIC PROMPT, OH THAT IS SO REAL!!!! ABSOLUTELY YES!!!

I DONT WRITE GOOD ROMANCE BUT LIKE UGH IMAGINE IT NOW. Alastor definitely just got himself to the V’s tower and was planning on fucking with Vox only to see he had already been kinda pissed off. Alastor wouldn’t be as satisfied if he knew he didn’t cause the frustration. He realized he could just stir the pot again. Problem solved, and what better way to solve it than using his weakness against him.. being tickled.

I’m being a little silly but genuinely Vox is so ticklish. Like most ticklish person in hell would go to him if it were an official title. That’s what I’m thinking. That being said, Alastor also knows how quickly he could get him to crumble… but wouldn’t it be more fun to take it slow.

Vox notices his presence almost immediately. He tried to ignore it as he feels his face get warm. He can’t fuck this up. He takes a deep breath and turns around. “Why hello, Alastor! What brings you to our building this evening?” He said in a semi newcaster voice. He wasn’t ready to drop the act

“Well Vox, I came here for a reason of my own but then I walked by your office and you looked so sad!” He began to walk closer to Vox. “You know, t they say you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

Vox let out a laugh that was quite clearly untruthful. “Yes Alastor I am aware! I was alone in here and so I figured I’d just save up some energy. I’m sure you understand.”

“Quite frankly I don’t,” Alastor paused, “I think maybe I could help you get that smile back.”

Vox didn’t even have to think. He knew Alastor meant he was going to tickle him. You could ask Velvette. She’s seen those two in tickle fights that lasted for DAYS. she knows what they’re capable of, or more so what Alastor is capable of.

Vox puts up a fight for maybe a couple seconds but he just loves tickles more than he can play pretend that he doesn’t <3

It works out well for them both, Alastor gets to fuck around with Vox and well, Vox gets his shit rocked!!! And he loves that more than a lot of things.

OK IM GONNA CUT IT OFF HERE BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME BACK!!!! IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING!! MAYBE ID DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN OR LIKE ADD ONTO THIS!!! BUT I AM JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE CURRENTLY HEHE. I HOPE THESE ARE ENJOYABLE!!! (LOWKEY I WANNA ADD MORE TO THISSSS MAYBE TMR MAYBE TMR WE’LL SEE)

apologies if anything is ooc, i just do this for funsies <3

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASKK

[une-sanz-pluis]

What do you think about the homosexual rumors of Henry V?

I'm generally in favour of them and do my best to perpetuate them, cf. this tag on my personal blog. But, I (sometimes) try to be a ~serious history blogger so I will endeavour to give you a more considered answer.

As a ~serious history blogger, I'd say it's probably more accurate to speak about speculation of Henry V's sexuality than "homosexual rumours". To me, "rumours" implies things contemporaneously said and recorded about Henry V and, while I would argue that there are things that may allude to his being in some way queer, there is just no evidence that explicitly, irrefutably does that or evidence that raises the possibility of his queerness in a way that has to be addressed by historians, even if they end up denying the possibility of queerness or can't definitively say whether he was or wasn't queer. This doesn't mean there is no possible way Henry V could be queer, only that it's one of those things that we don't and can't know for certain.

Medieval Attitudes to Sexuality

We don't have a lot of evidence of specific individuals engaged in same-sex behaviour in medieval England and what evidence that exists is generally from when people were outed (often in a legalistic sense) or in the form of political smears. In the latter case, we have no idea of these smears had some element of truth in them. Both Edward II and Richard II, for example, were linked explicitly with sodomy by their contemporaries. While today we associate sodomy with a specific sexual act, in the Middle Ages it encompassed a whole host of sexual sins and was often invoked in non-sexual discourses to suggest something was "against nature". In the case of Edward II and Richard II, sodomy was invoked alongside a narrative that they were ruled or lead astray by their unworthy favourites - when as kings, they should have been the ones who did the "ruling". This genre of criticism has been labelled discursive sodomy. We can't and don't know whether they did or did not have a romantic and/or sexual relationship with their favourites or what "sodomy" their accusers imagined or believed they had committed but in the case of Edward II, at least, the appearance of the (untrue) narrative that he was murdered by the insertion of a red-hot poker into his anus not too long after his death heavily implies that not all of his contemporaries and near-contemporaries viewed the allegation of sodomy to be purely political or unlinked to same-sex behaviour. If you're interested in a discussion getting into the specifics of Richard II's sexuality, I'd recommend this post by @shredsandpatches

Another issue with the discussion of medieval sexuality is medieval attitudes to sexuality were very different from our own. Our modern categories of sexual orientation (e.g. heterosexuality, homosexuality etc.) did not exist in the Middle Ages - this doesn't mean that medieval people didn't experience and/or act on sexual attraction in the way these categories describe, just that they didn't have the same ways of conceptualising and categorising sexuality as we do. Some sexuality historians avoid using these terms, viewing them as what W. Mark Ormrod, when discussing Edward II, described as both anachronistic and futile:

anachronistic because medieval attitudes to sexuality were so different from our own, and futile because the nature of the evidence makes it impossible to tell what Edward actually did – let alone what he thought himself to be doing – whether and when he engaged in emotional and physical contact with women or men.

Personally, I don't have issue with using modern sexuality categories in casual settings or as a quick shorthand, but when I'm pretending to be a ~serious history blogger, I try to follow that viewpoint and use the word "queer" because it encompasses a whole range of experiencing sexuality and gender without tying it to specific and modern identities that weren't available to the people I'm discussing

We also have to be careful when discussing medieval sexualities for two more reasons. One: we understand and accept today that an individual's sexuality is determined by how they experience sexual attraction but we rarely, if ever, have access to a medieval person's inner thoughts to know how they experienced sexual attraction and can only go off sexual behaviour, where the evidence unsurprisingly skews heavily towards to relationships between men and women. We know that people can and do have sex in ways that don't "fit" with their sexual orientation for a variety of reasons - they might be closeted, experimenting, figuring out their sexuality or trying to have children - and we need to recognise that this could be the case for at least some medieval people. Two: what we today might view as sexual behaviour, such as kissing or sharing a bed, wasn't necessarily sexual to a medieval eyes, and we need to ground our conclusions in their context.

So, with that lengthy preamble but very basic introduction to medieval sexuality and its problems over, let's move onto Henry V.

Henry V's Sexualities

Discussion of Henry's sexuality have two additional problems. Firstly, Henry's reputed wild youth has often been assumed to have been both sexual and heteronormative - i.e. he had a lot of sex with a lot of women - and this isn't aided by the fact that historical Henry is often conflated with Shakespeare's wild prince Hal, whose wildness is also often generally assumed to be both sexual and heteronormative and who is often depicted as having casual sex with women*. Secondly, Henry's reputation as a great warrior king has meant that, as Katherine J. Lewis notes, his gender is often seen to have been so normative and idealised as to be invisible and in need of little scrutiny and I would argue the same is true for his sexuality (excepting revisionist takes by historians such as Ian Mortimer, who treats Henry's sexuality as monstrously other).

I know that what I'm about to write will have someone wanting to jump in and get all "BUT" and "well, actually" so three disclaimers:

It is very difficult to know for certain whether two men (or two women) actually had sex 600 years ago - and impossible if we don't have explicit evidence (which we rarely do). However, just because we lack evidence does not mean everyone was "straight". The stigma around same-sex behaviour means that we would expect a paucity of evidence, which we have. Additionally, we need to be aware of what Ruth Mazo Karras calls the "double standard of evidence" where men and women are often assumed to be lovers despite a lack of evidence, but the possibility of women and men engaging in same-sex behaviour requires explicit evidence of genital contact.

As I've already said, there is nothing that is clearly suggestive of Henry V engaging in same-sex behaviour. He was not linked explicitly with sodomy, despite the broadness of the term, and nor do we find him depicted as a king unreasonably attached to an unworthy favourite. Firstly, it is reasonable to assume that more queer people existed than what we have evidence for. Secondly, the narrative of queer kings as kings ruled by their favourites is a stereotype, born from discursive sodomy, and it is entirely possible that this allowed for queer kings who didn't (or who weren't made to) embody the tropes of discursive sodomy to go under the radar.

"But we have all these stories about Henry V's wild youth where he was having sex with loads of women and the epic romance with his wife." I will get into this more detail below but we should probably view such claims sceptically. Secondly, the evidence of "sex with lots of women" is actually very limited.

* There are a number of queer readings of Shakespeare's Hal but these are rarely leave academia to end up on stage or screen. There are three retellings of the Henriad that depict a queer Hal: My Own Private Idaho, Tessa Gratton's Lady Hotspur and Allen Bratton's Henry Henry.

Speculation

The arguments that I've seen put forward to suggest that Henry engaged in same-sex behaviour come from three different types of evidence:

Preferring the Company of Men. Henry married late and spent most of his reign on campaign and with men, away from women. His court was also lacking in women.

Sharing a bed with Scrope. Henry, Lord Scrope of Masham was known as Henry's bedfellow which means they were lovers.

Sharing a tomb with Courtenay. A story circulated that Henry's close friend, Richard Courtenay, was buried in the same tomb as him, which suggests they were lovers.

Neither of these are a smoking gun, the first two for fairly obvious reasons, and the third because Courtenay is not in the same tomb as Henry.

Preferring the Company of Men.

It is true that Henry married late but if Henry's sexuality did play any kind of role in the delay, it was in a very minor role. We know that his marriage had been considered since 1395, when John of Gaunt negotiated for his marriage to Marie, the daughter of the Duke of Brittany and when Richard II proposed he marry Michelle de Valois, daughter of Charles VI of France. We also know that he was the subject of multiple marriage negotiations in Henry IV's reign - at first with Isabelle de Valois (daughter of Charles VI, Richard II's widow), Catherine of Pomerania (sister to Erik of Pomerania, King of Norway, Denmark and Sweden), an unnamed daughter of Charles VI, Catherine de Valois, and one of the daughters of the Duke of Burgundy (I don't think a name was ever specified). These never eventuated for various political reasons. The delay in his marriage when Henry became king was likely due to seeing his marriage to a French princess as a necessary part for any long-term peace with France (regardless of how he truly envisioned the form that peace would take). I don't think we can argue that Henry's behaviour here was because of a lack of sexual interest in women, but simply because negotiations fell through and because, in the end, the marriage to Catherine was deemed a vital part of his plans with France.

It is true that Henry's court was primarily a homosocial environment but that was the way courts were "supposed" to be (Richard II, for instance, was heavily criticised for having too many women at court and for combining his household with his first queen's). It is also true that by the time Henry came to the throne, the majority of his female relatives who might be expected to play a role in his court were either dead or living overseas, having made advantageous marriage alliances arranged by Henry's father and grandfather. Ian Mortimer's assertion that Henry barred Joan of Navarre and Margaret Holland, Duchess of Clarence from his court on basis of his dislike of Joan and of Margaret's husband, is simply without foundation, and indeed they played important, visible roles in his reign, both at court and away from court, until Joan's arrest on treason charges and Margaret's widowing. Given the tendency for chroniclers to elide the presence of women, it's also possible that other women were at court but their presence went unrecorded and there are at least four who should probably be considered as influential figures in Henry's reign: Joan de Bohun, Countess of Hereford, Elizabeth of Lancaster, Countess of Huntington, Joan Beaufort, Countess of Westmorland and Philippa de Mohun, Duchess of York.

Sharing a bed with Scrope.

As I mentioned above bed sharing was not seen as a solely sexual act and it often occurred as a gesture of trust, affection and intimacy between men. I also don't believe that chroniclers that often implied sodomy rather than explicitly naming it would casually reference the king having sex with his male best friend. In Scrope's specific case, I'm only aware of his sharing a bed with Henry as being recorded by Monstrelet, which raises the question of how a Burgundian chronicler knew they shared a bed but not one English chronicler knew about it to make mention of it. Likely, Monstrelet was invoking bed-sharing to show the intimacy of their relationship, borrowing from the English narratives that depicted Scrope as a deeply trusted friend of Henry who then callously betrayed him.

Now, there are some things to note. The first is that just because Monstrelet is the only chronicler (afaik) to reference the bed sharing does not mean that Henry and Scrope didn't share a bed (and if Scrope was as close to Henry as the chroniclers imply, there's a good chance they did). The second is that while bed-sharing was not primarily seen as sexual, it doesn't preclude the possibility that sex did occur between two members of the same sex sharing a bed. Thirdly, despite not mentioning the bed-sharing, chroniclers often invoked a highly intimate relationship between Scrope and Henry. Here's Thomas Walsingham on Scrope:

He was so highly regarded by the king that discussions on private or public matters were usually brought to an end by his verdicts. For in all his actions he showed such a restrained gravity and sanctity that the king judged that all his pronouncements should be carried out just as if they were oracles fallen from heaven. If an important embassy had to be sent to France, the king thought that Henry Scrope was the man who had the ability to perform this task.

This, to me, seems to invoke the trope of the unworthy favourite who has an unreasonable hold on the king. Perhaps Scrope was the most unworthy of the late medieval favourites: his betrayal of Henry was an actual betrayal instead of the image of a "loving knight serving his lord with his body and sword" twisted into treason by his enemies.

Sharing a tomb with Courtenay.

At some point after October 1953 when the grave of Richard Courtenay, Bishop of Norwich was rediscovered in the chapel of St Edward at Westminster Abbey, a story circulated that Courtenay's remains were found inside Henry's tomb, which led to speculation that that they had been lovers. Obviously, this doesn't prove they had sex but it is a quite unusual gesture, suggesting a great degree of intimacy. This same intimacy is apparent in the small number of double-tomb monuments commemorating two individuals of the same-sex (e.g. Sir William Neville and Sir John Clanvowe, Elizabeth Etchingham and Agnes Oxenbridge), and Jessica Barker notes that while we don't/can't know if the couples were lovers, their joint burial and memorials do mark a "significant moment in in queer history because they present same-sex relationships as analogous to married couples". Courtenay has no memorial in the chapel, much less one that impales his arms with Henry's as is the case with Sir William Neville and Sir John Clanvowe, but Henry's gesture of sharing his tomb space with Courtenay is deeply unusual and suggests a great deal of affection and intimacy.

Unfortunately, the story just isn't true. As far as I could find, Henry's tomb has never been opened which means that Courtenay's remains can't have been discovered alongside his. There is also a fair bit about Courtenay's grave that has been made public. Westminster Abbey displays the ring they found in his grave, Lawrence Tanner records the discovery in his memoirs, and a couple of articles about St Edward's chapel published archaeological drawings of Courtenay's grave and remains that show he was buried alone and his tomb is located under the steps of the northern turret of Henry V's chantry chapel.

There is still something very telling about Courtenay's place of burial. St. Edward's chapel was, quite simply, an exclusive burial space. It was where almost every single king and queen of England between Henry III and Henry V were buried and those few burials that didn't belong to monarchs were often quite closely connected to the royal family or from an earlier period. Space was also becoming tight - Henry VI struggled to find a place for his own burial (which never eventuated due to his deposition and murder) and the lack of space was probably why Edward IV chose to be buried at Windsor (and possibly why Henry IV chose to be buried in Canterbury Cathedral). The closest, albeit imperfect, parallel to Courtenay's burial in the chapel was that of John Waltham, Bishop of Salisbury - who had been buried there on Richard II's orders, causing outrage that a man of common blood should be buried amongst kings. Courtenay was of noble descent but not of the highest echelons of society, let alone closely related to the royal family. Why then did Henry order Courtenay's burial in such a prestigious place, risking scandal and outrage?

We can say a little more about Courtenay, too. He seems to have been implicitly trusted by Henry. Walsingham's statement about Scrope, that Henry thought Scrope should head all important embassies to France? Isn't quite correct. Scrope didn't lead any of the principal embassies to Paris - Courtenay did, "perhaps," Jeremy Caton writes, "because he knew the king’s mind better than his colleagues." The Gesta Henrici Quinti, which is was written by a chaplain in Henry's household and largely believed to be part of Henry's propaganda, details the moment of Courtenay's death, "in the presence of the king who, after extreme unction, with his own hands wiped [Courtenay's] feet and closed his eyes". The closest parallel to Henry's handling of Courtenay's corpse that has survived appears to be Richard II's touching of Robert de Vere's corpse when it was returned to England for burial.

Obviously, none of this "proves" that Henry and Courtenay were lovers or that Henry experienced and engaged in same-sex behaviour. But it does suggest the possibility.

I discussed this in more detail on my personal tumblr but without pretending to be ~serious history blogger sometime ago and I keep meaning to write a serious version of that post and one specifically about the account of Henry attending to Courtenay on his deathbed.

The Wild Youth and the Wife

To begin with, sexual attraction does not always operate on a binary. People can be attracted to one gender or they can be attracted to more. Nor does sexual behaviour, as I said above, necessarily indicate how one experiences sexual attraction. So it is entirely possible that Henry could have sex with women and still be sexually attracted to men and vice versa. One does not necessarily preclude the other.

The Wife

I've already written a simply massive post detailing the evidence of his relationship with Catherine de Valois. The reality is that we don't and can't know what their relationship was like. The framing of their marriage as a romance is, simply put, a myth. It was a standard marriage for their class and situation and we should not rely on the stories that Henry fell instantly in love with Catherine upon seeing her portrait or hearing his ambassadors report on their meeting with her. These are tropes out of courtly romances and fairy tales.

If we try to determine anything about their sex life from the surviving evidence of their marriage, we run into trouble. We don't have access to their bedchamber to know when they had sex or what they felt about the sex they did have. The only explicit evidence of their sex life is that it resulted in a son. I don't say this to conclude "and therefore they only had sex the one time" - I would be very, very surprised if that's the case. The point is, however, that the marriage is not proof of Henry's "straightness".

The Wild Youth

I've also written a bit about the story of Henry's "wild youth". Two Latin lives written in the mid-to-late 1430s explicitly invoke Henry's sex life, such as the Vita et Gesta Henrici Quinti (translated here by Anne Curry):

an assiduous pursuer of fun, devoted to organ instruments [an intentional double entendre] which relaxed the rein on his modesty, although under the military service of Mars, he seethed youthfully with the flames of Venus too, and tended to be open to other novelties as befitted the age of his untamed youth.

For some historians, this is proof that Henry had a lot of casual sex with women. Others cite two reports by contemporaries (Richard Courtenay himself and the Earl of Ormond) who claim that after his coronation, Henry did not have sex with women after coming to the throne as evidence that it was notable to what came before. Ian Mortimer even speculates that Henry had "an unfortunate experience [that] left him fearing women as sexual beings" that resulted in this turnaround.

However, we have no explicit evidence beyond these two Latin lives that imagined Henry "seeth[ing] youthfully with the flames of Venus" for Henry's youthful indiscretions. There is not the slightest hint of an illegitimate child, nor is there any woman we can link to Henry in a plausible sexual relationship. There are also no surviving criticisms of lecherous behaviour or that his court as Prince of Wales was a hotbed of debauchery - we find similar criticisms for the likes of Edward III, Richard II, Edward IV and Richard III, and for Henry's brother, Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester.

This, of course, doesn't prove or mean that Henry didn't have sex with women during this time. It could just be that the evidence doesn't survive. Although some medieval mistresses are incredibly famous, most are unknown - Henry's brothers had five known illegitimate children and we don't know who the mothers were for any of them. It's also possible that Henry's sexual relations with women were on a strictly casual basis, that he was unusually lucky with the highly unreliable forms of birth control or that any illegitimate children that he fathered died young enough that they left no mark on the historical record. It's also possible that if he was having sex, perhaps he wasn't having sex with women. The apparent gap between the comments on Henry’s sex life and the lack of evidence could be read suggestive of something unspeakable – a vice that medieval people considered too horrible to be named. It's also tempting to see a link between the invocation of Venus and Thomas Walsingham's complaint that Richard II's favourites were "knights of Venus rather than of Bellona", a war goddess.

It's also possible that his sex life was simply unremarkable. The comments about Henry's sex life might simply be, as has been suggested, a cover for Henry's conflicts with his father. They may have been a cover for suspicions that he harboured Lollard sympathies.

Henry's Sexualities

As I've outlined, we simply don't know how Henry experienced sexual desire and attraction to know whether he was queer or straight. I can see the possibility that he was queer, that he had romantic and/or sexual relationships with Courtenay or Scrope.

I have also wondered if he experienced little to no sexual attraction or had little interest in sex. If we take the statements that he was abstained from sex between his coronation and his marriage at face value, if we take the lack of concrete evidence for his "seething in the flames of Venus" at face value, it's possible to read him as experiencing sexual attraction in a way similar to asexuality.

My thoughts are, in short: that we don't and can't know but there is the possibility of queerness there.

Sources:

Gesta Henrici Quinti (c. 1417), eds. and trans. Frank Taylor and John S. Roskell (Oxford University Press 1975)

The Chronica Maiora of Thomas Walsingham, trans. David Preest (The Boydell Press 2005)

The First English Life of Henry V, ed. C. L. Kingsford (Clarendon Press 1911)

The Chronicles of Enguerrand de Enguerrand De Monstrelet, Volume 1 of 2, trans. Thomas Johnes, 1840.

Henric Bagerius and Christine Ekholst, 'Kings and favourites: politics and sexuality in late medieval Europe', Journal of Medieval History, 43:3 (2017)

Jessica Barker, Stone Fidelity: Marriage and Emotion in Medieval Tomb Sculpture (The Boydell Press 2020)

Judith M. Bennett, History Matters: Patriarchy and the Challenge of Feminism (University of Pennsylvania Press 2007)

Judith M. Bennett, "Remembering Elizabeth Etchingham and Agnes Oxenbridge", The Lesbian Premodern, eds. Noreen Giffney, Michelle M. Sauer, Diane Watt (Palgrave 2011)

Jeremy Caton, “The King’s Servants”, Henry V: The Practice of Kingship, ed. G. L. Harriss (Oxford University Press 1985)

Anne Curry, Henry V: From Playboy Prince to Warrior King (Penguin Monarchs 2015)

R. G. Davies, “Courtenay, Richard” in Oxford Dictionary of National Biography (2004)

Sylvia Federico, "Queer Times: Richard II in the Poems and Chronicles of Late Fourtheen-Century England", Medium Ævum, vol. 79, no. 1 (2010)

Ruth Mazo Karras, Sexuality in Medieval Europe: Doing Unto Others (Routledge 2017)

Ruth Mazo Karras and Tom Linkenen, “John/Eleanor Rykener Revisited", Founding Feminisms in Medieval Studies: Essays in Honor of E. Jane Burns, eds. Laine E. Doggett and Daniel E. O'Sullivan, (D. S. Brewer 2016)

Katherine J. Lewis, Kingship and Masculinity in Late Medieval England (Routledge 2013)

Peter McNiven, "Prince Henry and the English Political Crisis of 1412:, History, vol. 65, no. 12 (1980)

Peter McNiven, Heresy and Politics in the Reign of Henry IV: The Burning of John Badby  (The Boydell Press 1987)

E. Amanda McVitty, ‘False knights and true men: contesting chivalric masculinity in English treason trials, 1388–1415′, Journal of Medieval History, 40:4 (2014)

Robert Mills, Seeing Sodomy in the Middle Ages (University of Chicago Press 2015)

Ian Mortimer, 1415: Henry V's Year of Glory (Vintage 2010)

W. Mark Ormrod, "The Sexualities of Edward II", The Reign of Edward II: New Perspectives, eds. Gwilym Dodd and Anthony Musson (York Medieval Press 2009)

Lawrence Tanner, Recollections of a Westminster Antiquary (John Baker 1969)

Tim Tatton-Brown, “The Pavement in the Chapel of St Edward The Confessor, Westminster Abbey”, Journal of the British Archaeological Association, 153:1 (2000)

[oatbugs]

as someone who is also trying to overhaul their entire wardrobe after throwing out fast fashion pieces,, do you have any specific brands you like, advice on places to get clothes for long-term wear, etc? ty!!

thank you for asking! this is a long post but it's been my life for a bit now so i would suggest reading through it to skip the learning stages that i went through the hard way! there is some important and useful info here :) brand recs at the end

i would suggest looking for vintage or secondhand clothes first and foremost bc that's how you can find quality pieces for a reasonable price :)

if you want pure longevity, synthetics like polyester, nylon, elastane, etc will last not only your lifetime but your grandchildrens' too. they can be quite comfortable sometimes BUT:

they will likely break down in hundreds of years

they are NOT biodegradable and so will break down into microplastics and toxic microfibers

for me and a lot of others, you will notice the difference in quality in synthetics vs fabrics like cotton and virgin wool. i refuse to buy synthetics for the above reasons but also bc they just Feel Worse idk how to explain iykyk (tip especially valuable for autistic ppl)

brands: all depend on style so look for the styles you like/want to dress in on pinterest, then track down the original designer of the dress! from there you can search irl places or plug the designers into apps like:

vinted: cheaper vintage or second hand clothes from all sorts of brands

vestiare collective: more high-end, pieces are authenticated and usually in great condition

GEM: a gem of a site truly, accumulates all the finds from your search from different websites like ebay, etc

depop: honestly not the biggest fan but can be good sometimes! make sure to buy vintage/secondhand and ask sellers for the brand to not get sold an aliexpress dupe for 100 bucks

vintage shops: especially good for accessories like belts and ties. vintage shops usually have much better stuff than charity shops

kilo sales: THE BEST PLACES IRL in my opinion i got a 2k+ virgin wool coat for £20 . honestly in my experience kilo sales are great. check out Worth the Weight if you're in the UK!

remember that brand history matters! for example vivienne westwood has a great reputation as luxury punk but the pieces produced in recent years are actually very low in quality, defintely not worth the money for a lot of people! pay for quality, not just the name :) same goes for jean paul gaultier's recent pieces imo.

additional VERY USEFUL tips:

the standard zipper used by most of the companies making your garments is YKK. if you look at any zipper you're wearing rn and inspect it closely chances are you'll see YKK engraved on it. before buying a piece check that it has opti or riri zippers - this is some indication of a higher quality

one of the first things to do before buying a piece is to immediately check the materials it's made of!! the tag detailing materials is usually towards the bottom of the garment . i immediately dismiss things that have higher than 5% synthetics but i'm just rly picky w materials

EACH MATERIAL HAS DIFFERENT USES !!! BUT GENERALLY: virign wool is the best kind of wool, full-grain leather is better than most other kinds of leather, mulberry silk is better than other kinds of silk

brand recs:

yohji yamamoto, yehufan (i own a skirt by him!!), marina eerrie, ann demeulemeester, jw anderson, solovair for shoes (much better than docs), maison (martin) margiela (esp artisanal line 0), miu miu (i wear their beret i thrifted for £15 almost every day), valentino esp pre 2021 , lemaine , undercover older pieces , early raf simons , ...honestly there's a lot, if you need more send another ask or DM :)

p.s. if u can go runway shows etc go to the sample sales afterwards sometimes the pieces there are gorgeous !! but sometimes v pricey :')

all recommendations and advice, don't take my word as gospel and defintely do your own research + formulate ur own opinions ! hope this helps ♡

[kingprinceleo]

Okay so, warning, this is gonna be super long cus I love your AUs and wanna understand them. They seem *very* complicated and I am *very* confused.

Okay first off, I saw that in 1000 Years Bound Sonic is dead young around like 40, but I see that he’s hundreds of years old all the time in posts tagged with the same AU? And Shadow was a king and Sonic was one too in both AUs? And for Tails, in both 1000 Years Bound and Happy Auau he seems to be a kitsune because he lives long and has four tails, but how old is he and at what year did he grow the two extra tails? Oh and, for the post where Sonic was like “yo ur like 500 years old why u still scared of thunder” how come Sonic is alive?? Did he only die in 1000 Years Bound (also does that mean he is also immortal?? If so, how?) or is Tails older than him? Where are the other characters? I see Silver in 1000 Years Bound, but where is he in Happy Auau and where is everyone else (i.e. Knuckles and Amy)? For the Happy Auau existence itself,, I notice it’s called “happy auau” and not just “happy au”. Is this because it in itself it is an AU of your AU, 1000 Years Bound? Is Shadow immortal in both AUs? Are both AUs the same universe but just take place at different timelines?? If so, I have SO many more questions that I don’t even know how to ask cus I’m so confused and things seem to contradict each other if they’re the same universe. What is the third eye on Shadow’s head? Was he born on the Ark and sent to Mobius with no memories and then gets them about him and Maria and stuff, or is he born into royalty? If he wasn’t born into it, I think it would be pretty funny that Shadow was like “uhhh I have a third eye and can kill you all and I’m your king now lol” but ik it’s most likely not that simple. I also saw a post where Sonic had a bond thingie or something (in idk what AU) with Shadow and had powers he used sometimes too, what’s up with that? For both AUs, are Sonic and Shadow’s history just like the games and is just set in the future, or different?

Honestly, I prolly have more questions that I just can’t think of rn, this is just a big braindump. I hope I’m not bothering you or seem like I’m hastily interrogating you or something, I’m just genuinely very confused. Please let me know if it’s okay to ask more questions in the future, haha. By the way, I think you are incredibly creative—you are one of my biggest art and story-making inspirations. You manage to invoke so much emotion in your work it’s,, wow. The 1000 Years Bound AU actually makes me really sad sometimes and affects my mood snsjsjdbs, BUT IN A GOOD WAY;; the fact that you can do that in the first place just shows how good u are at… story-ing. Anyway as u can probably tell I ramble a lot so uh, love ya keep on doing what ur doing :D 👍

oh god oh fuck /lh and tysm for the questions!!!! i love answering questions n rambling so im always open to them!!!! i would love more, it doesnt bother me in the slightest, also WAHHHHHH TYYYYYYYYY, sobbing and crying and rolling on the floor like a rotisserie chicken /pos i tried to break it down as coherently as i could!! v

if you have more questions im always excited to respond to them! ty for the ask!

[sibelin]

hey, it's the end of the year and i genuinely wanted to thank you all for sticking around and making my day to day life a little brighter! and now for the cringe fest, i'm going to @ a bunch of mutuals one by one 😎✌️

big thanks to all the cool folks @ the mode server including @nettys-girl, @caella-v @lady-grinning @cherry-pop-soda @visible-disappointment @ddearpercocet @bernardsumnersleftleg and @corrode-in-repose. i'm very glad i found that little corner of the internet where i can talk about music and silly stuff with you all. you are all so supportive and cool :)

same goes for the holy trinity @staticspxcelover @elektroblues @shinybrandon, always a pleasure to talk with you three!

of course, @inyourroomalbumversion. you're just the best, genuinely kind. also TALENTED check her bass vids if you haven't yet💚

@blackccelebration you were one of the first person to interact with me on here yet i stil go :O!!! everytime i see you on the dash! thank you for being kind and all

@thedevotionaltour i'm sure i already told you but i made this blog after seeing your posts in the dm tag!! also you are so talented can't wait to read your future comics

@thatgothicfairy @monotropauniflora @aliennasaprincess i always enjoy seeing you on the dash!! you have to know at least 30% of my playlists are stolen from tunes and bands you share hehe

@sashayork you always have the nicest things to say!!

and ik we haven't been mutuals for long but ty @hulubalanggeneration02 @phoneymedic and @ange1attack :^)

well now i'm 100% sure i have forgotten some of you so consider yourselves tagged if you see this on the dash. i hope 2023 will be kind and exciting for you all.

[depressed-cowboah]

✨About Me post✨

Hello!! Welcome to my little blog!! I saw some friends do this and thought I should too.

Online you can call me Ruby, using that for ✨privacy reasons✨

Idk here’s little facts or something

She/her, but honestly I don’t care what you use!

I am a adult but please no nsfw stuff, I will block u

Training a service dog! Any posts about him will probably be tagged “Franklin”

this is a social media I like to keep to myself and not worry about irl people so I'm not sure i’ll post much about my life.

Beginner taxidermist! I work with strictly naturally deceased animals. Mostly articulate bones, but i’d love to get better at true taxidermy.

I tend to unfollow frequently when interests change, so please don't take it personally- I'm probably just not interested in whatever topic you post about anymore.

(part of my collection!)

Stuff I'm interested in and prob reblog or post about!

LOCKED TOMB!! I love the locked tomb sm. First book is called Gideon the ninth, go read it!!

Bones and skeletons! I do reblog and post about them, so if that’s something you don't like to see be warned. I try to tag all those as “tw bones”

(the warthog I articulated!)

Dogs! I love them v v much and will talk about dogs forever. English mastiffs are my favorite, i’ve had nine English and a handful of other mastiff breeds. I would love to get into showing them someday!

Reptiles! I love them so so much! I have a northern blue tongue named Walter, 2 Beardies named Herman and Dart, and a corn snake named Pyrrha. Walter is from a enthical breeder I adore and the rest are rescues! All my enclosures are bioactive.

(my children- Dart the orange Beardie, Herman the grey Beardie, Walter the skink and Pyrrha the snake

The last of us!!! Ahh I love tlou! I am one of those people that adore the second game and i’m a Abby supporter. If you hate post about her simply because of what she did at the start, I’ll block. Structured criticism is fine- I just can't stand when people violently hate her just because of that, Joel has done way worse. It was justified lol

Stranger things! I've been a fan of st since the start, it's a big comfort show for me. I named one of my lizards after our favorite little monster.

Red dead redemption!! I could talk about rdr for days dude. My user is inspired by it!

Star wars!! I'm not as into Star wars as I used to be, but I still love it- especially mandalorian.

Lastly, the MCU! Again like Star wars i’m not as into it as I was, but I still enjoy it.

Anddddd lastly

Don't interact or follow if you're a asshole. Anyone can be whatever as long as they aren't hurting themselves or others, and just be generally respectful and polite. Ty!

[protcg]

henlo , i am at the moment writing with friends only , so please try not to follow me ! i might remake in the future to write with everyone! my names happy and i go by they/them , i'm 25 !

in future i may make another blog n write with more peeps ! art cred - mobile header!

muses:

stelle [ honkai star rail ]

caelus [ honkai star rail ]

aether [ genshin impact ]; about | verses

atsushi [ bungou stray dogs ]; about | verses

eiden [ nu carnival ]

male rover [ wuthering waves - request ]

izuku [ boku no hero academia - request ] verses

-- visitors of the astral express ♥ ; @raytm , @iiryoku

mobile rules under read more;

my most important rule, idc if you accidently forget the rest one of the rest its ok, but this one i will def not be ok with breaking; do not involve me in your personal drama. i don't want anything to do with ur personal beef against sb, don't wanna be involved with it, no matter how long we know each other. it really ruined my rp experience in my past, when i come here just to write & chill and suddenly i'm in a deadly bloody battle against something i never gave consent to be part of. pls lets all hang out & b friends in this small space.

i'll unfollow ppl that post politics or abt wars in dashboard. it's nothing personal, i know sometimes it's important; but i live in a warzone, i experience it everyday, those are triggers to my ptsd. i don't want to go to detail about it nor will i talk about it here, i only want you to be aware of the reasoning i put this rule. that being said, if you post a video or song that include sirens or bombing sounds in it, please tag it with a tw. thank u v much i appreciate it lots ❤️

i'm very private & selective for now! i'll follow just som friends. in the future i'll open the blog for more ppl ! i'll only follow muns that are over 18+ (preferably 21+), i'm 25 and i'd prefer to write with adults.

english isn't my first language -- so i'm sorry for any mistakes i make or write! if you would like to correct me with something i wrote wrong, please feel free to do so!

shipping; i love shipping! please feel free to approach me with that so we can plot or build chemistry before that. besides shipping i love talking about possible interactions and plot ideas very much!

nsfw; there might be dark themes, violence and nsfw (18+) content in the blog. everything will be taggedaccordingly.

ty for reading so far! feel free to give it a like or not if u read it's really ok

[beachaire]

OMG LOOK YOUR TOP POSTS FORMED MOTH ECLIPSE

Anyway how are you? Long time no see, plus we don't interact much either but i just want to check on you!!!

OMG HI!! WOAH THATS SUPER COOL- [[ Actually I should draw that!! >:00 ]]

ALSOSO! I’M DOING WELL PSPSP TY FOR ASKING!! WBU? :V

yeah we don’t rlly interact much but it’s super cool whenever i see your bug posts!! P.S. ty for tagging me in those!!

Actually surrounding those two buggy boys, i had made a mini comic but forgot about it…sooo!!

[cains-coin-shop]

🪦Welcome to my blog!🪦

Hello! Welcome to my coining blog! My name is Cain, and I use this blog to coin alterhuman and xenogender terms!

About Me

✰ I'm eighteen

✰ I'm nonbinary, genderfluid, and xenogender

✰ I'm bisexual and polyamorous

✰ I love Monster energy drinks and Pepsi

✰ I love vulture culture

✰ I'm an alterhuman and a tulpamancer (I am NOT a system! I don't agree with tulpamancers using the term "system.")

✰ I'm an age regressor and age dreamer. My regression/dreaming ages are 1-5 yrs old!

About My Alterhumanity

THERIOTYPES

✰ Red fox 🦊

✰ Arctic wolf ❄️🐺

✰ Snow leopard ❄️🐆

KINTYPES

✰ Ghostkin 👻

LINKTYPES

✰ Crow 🐦‍⬛

✰ Arctic werewolf ❄️🐺🌕

✰ Mermaid 🧜‍♀️

✰ Bombay cat 🐈‍⬛

✰ Hellhound 🐺🔥

OTHERS

✰ not deer 🏔🦌 (otherhearted)

About My Tulpas

Disclaimer: I do not believe that tulpamancers are systems. "Tulpagenic systems" do not exist. Tulpas can possess or switch with their hosts, but it doesn't make them a system, as it is consensual and not a disorder, but a spiritual practice/psychological phenomenon.

✰ I am not pro or anti endogenic systems, but more neutral. I am not a system or a tulpa myself. I am a tulpamancer who created a tulpa, or more accurately a soulbond, by accident. I don't agree with people w/o DID/OSDD using the term system but I'm also not one to pick on people who choose to use those terms, as it is not my decision to make.

✰ Tulpamancy is not a closed practice. Go to r/tulpa on reddit for more info on the subject! There are posts that are very informative and useful!

Tagging System

#cains cemetery thoughts - rants and vents

#cains coin collection - my terms and flags

#cains classroom - tips, tricks, and info on tulpamancy, lgbtq2ia+, MOGAI, witchcraft, and alterhumanity.

#cains funniest home videos - things that give me gender/species euphoria, or just stuff related to my theriotypes/linktypes/kintypes/etc.

#cains circus - stuff about my tulpas/imaginary friends

#cains V/H/S tapes - vulture culture content, may be graphic and involve dead/taxidermied animals!!

#cains colouring book - age regression/dreaming related stuff!

Feel free to block any of these!

DNI

✰ kandiqueers, xenosatanists, and pro contact harmful paras can go eat yellow snow :D

✰ transrace and variants, please dni :3

✰ "transyanderes/transstalkers/transOLD" who just claim those labels cause they're "aesthetic" FUCK OFF!!!

✰ I don't have a super strict DNI other than tge things above me, but I ask that ageplay, DDLG or variants, and any kink blogs in general to please not interact with me. Also, basic dni criteria (racist, xenophobic, anti lgbtq+, neo-nazi, etc)

✰ vent blogs that post sensitive content like s/h or ed content are fine to interact/use my terms, but I likely won't follow back because I don't really want to see anything triggering. If you post heavy uncensored sh, then please dni as this blog is supposed to be an escape from that type of stuff for me, ty! (Feel free to interact with me on a more sfw account, though) :3

✰ radqueers and transID/transX, wishID, etc pls don't interact unless I do first. I'm not supportive of radqueer beliefs or pro-c/harmful transids. If I interact with your account, it's probably because you make cool mood boards or you're an "alter pack" account, and I need inspo for my imaginary companions/head friends :3

✰ respectful questions from antis of furries, therians, otherkins, alterhumans, xenogenders/neopronouns, etc. are always welcome as long as you are polite and respectful. I'm not here to debate you, though, so please don't bother trying to argue for the sake of arguing.

✰ if I violate your DNI, please don't hesitate to let me know! If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to message me! I don't bite :D