#//GUN EMOJI @ craig

[troublcmakcrs]

//i want to fill out those "understand my ship in 5 minutes" memes for other people but that like. requires me to draw tweek & craig :(

[bizarrelittlemew]

okay. i just watched the movie Snakeskin (2001). i bought a physical dvd in the year of our lord 2024 because Taika has 6.5 minutes of screentime in it. and now i'm sitting here trying to process wtf i just watched asjdhfdjsk so here are the highlights (thank you Meow @blakbonnet for going through this experience with me)

first of all, enjoy these screenshots from the trailer (i'm still not sure if they're mandatory disclaimers?):

...but say yes to snake imagery, because there will be a lot of it

we are definitely in 2001. this is extremely apparent throughout the whole movie. but especially from this girl's hair

Taika's character (Nelson) and his girlfriend (Daisy, pictured above) drive around in a repurposed ice cream truck and sell drugs btw. it's called Mr. Trippy.

main character Alice (Melanie Lynskey) is a huge fan of ✨America✨. her best friend is in love with her but she only wants Bad Boys. also said friend's name is Johnny but it's actually Craig

ALSO Craig-slash-Johnny is played by Dean O'Gorman (Fili)??!?!?!?

their hobby is to drive around picking up hitchhikers but only those who look not boring

enter The American. this guy is the most American you have ever seen. americans wish they could be as American as this guy. no one else has ever Americaned harder.

as you can see, i'm not lying. he even says "howdy ma'am" so we're convinced he is a real American

three skinheads are after The American because he stole their drugs (i think). he also stole drugs from Nelson and Daisy, who now owe money and/or drugs to their boss, who also has beef with The American for reasons i'm still not totally sure of

The American not only steals drugs and money, he also has a real gun(!!!) and fucks pretty much everyone?

"darlin'. u gotta earn the raaaiht. ter wear snakeskins 😎"

oh my god the sunglasses emoji just reminded me of the fucking sunglasses oh no i'm not sure i can do this akjsdhjsk this will make sense later i promise

do not learn gun safety from this movie

at one point, there is a whole lotta sheep. we are, after all, in Aotearoa New Zealand. and ok this had the cutest moment of Taika yelling "SHEEPY" out of a car

there's a scene where uhm. uhhh no not gonna describe this i think but. yeah fair warning this movie has some period-typical homophobia let's just say 💀 this is the live reaction:

MOVING ON

if you enjoy the 2000s aesthetic of "look how edgy we are doing drugs" *colorful-haired people on couches in dark club* *echo-y laugh* *hallucinations* *it's mushrooms look it's mushrooms we're doing psychedelics* then this is the movie for you my friend

oh and Alice also did acid at some point while being very "i've totally done drugs before" about it (((doubt)))

GIRL GET UP FROM THAT DIRTY BATHROOM FLOOR

[New Zealand accent] "wow. six and acid." yes she is living all her american dreams as you can see

by nighttime, all three cars (main characters, mr. trippy, and the nazimobile) and the motorcycle (mr. drug boss) have made it pretty far up the mountain, it seems. cute moment between mr. drug boss and nelson. look how :D he is!

but you know a movie with Taika in it needs to have a father figure talk down to him so he gets very 🥺 right after this

lots of shit goes down (i won't spoil too much if by any chance you still want to watch this) and it turns out that the older skinhead guy is the best actor in the movie??

and NOW things get weird

Craig and The American have so much beef by now that they decide to solve it by russian roulette

Alice's reaction to this is something like "ugh, you guys are crazy, i can't watch this 🙄"

like she just walks away?? GIRL THEY'RE AIMING A REAL GUN AT EACH OTHER

she keeps COMPLETELY UNDERREACTING TO WHAT IS HAPPENING like (spoilers from now on) CRAIG IS SHOT AND KILLED and she doesn't even run over and she doesn't even say anything to The American?? WHO SHOT HIM???? he's just standing there??

and then. AND THEN.

ok this is where i fully lost it for several minutes and missed half the following scene. i was fucking HOWLING like actually crying with laughter, i couldn't see or breathe and my partner got worried ksjdhfdjsk ok so here's what happens

they're in the car. craig is obviously very dead. alice is kinda in denial i guess. The American tells her to shut his eyes and she's like why? BECAUSE HE DEAD GIRL!! but she doesn't, she doesn't shut his eyes, no, this is what she does instead

I COULD BARELY MAKE THIS GIF BECAUSE I KEPT LAUGHING TO THE POINT OF TEARS

NOT THE SUNGLASSES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THE UNTAPPED MEME POTENTIAL HERE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

ANYWAY shortly after this we hear one of the funniest lines in the movie (and it's not even about the shooting and killing of Craig):

"fuck, Seth! this isn't fucking America, you can't just go around shooting everybody!"

oh yeah The American does have a name and it's Seth

i'll just post a few chat screenshots for the next part because i can't really describe it, i promise we're almost at the end

after some incredible visual effects™️, we end with Return of the Sunglasses (and me scaring my cats away because i was sobbing again)

i haven't even really talked about Taika's scenes much (the reason i watched this in the first place) because the ending took me OUT and honestly he is maybe the most normal person in this whole movie. one review (from the trailer) wrote this:

and yeah that may honestly be the best way to describe it. 10/10 movie watching experience, highly recommend. thank you for coming to my snek talk

[animalkingdom-an0nymous]

You know how bad i’m crushing for Craig even though I have not watched the show, how about a schmall blurb about Craig being Craig™️ around everybody but losing his grip and being all soft around his crush?? Cause that’s me atm. I am craig. Love ya bitchh

"Nah, man, get me my fucking money by tomorrow morning or I'm showing up at your place with a nail gun and a blowtorch. And if you aren't at your place? I'll show up at your mom's. And your sister's. And your fucking job. I will tear this town the fuck apart if you don't pay up." I ended the call with a click, not waiting for a response.

Deran was sitting in a chair by the pool with a joint between his lips, looking at me with his eyebrows raised.

"What, man? Why are you looking at me like that?" I snapped.

"Did you just threaten to kill his mother and sister with a blowtorch?"

I took the joint from him, hitting it before answering. "You think it was too much?"

"You're always too much." Deran said with a laugh before taking the joint back from me and hitting it again.

I huffed, feeling offensive. "Whatever. I want my fucking money. He owes me three grand."

"Funny, considering you owe me one."

Just then, as if the Devil himself was having a laugh at my expense, Adrian walked in. "Yeah, you owe me money too, dude."

I rolled my eyes. "I KNOW that. That's why I need the money from HIM so that I can pay YOU assholes back."

Adrian laughed and leaned down, giving Deran a quick kiss. I'd never admit it, but seeing the two of them finally out in the open made me happy. I'd known since we were kids that my younger brother was gay, and I always made it a point to protect him. God knows Smurf wouldn't. Pope was too fucked up. Baz was too wrapped up in Julia.

Me and Deran were all each other had.

"You guys make me sick." I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans.

Adrian laughed and plopped down in the lounge chair next to Deran. "Then don't look at us."

"Fuck you, Adrian. At least I-" I stopped talking when I heard a rustling behind me, coming from the garage.

"Hey, boys. Sorry I'm late, I wanted to pick up a few steaks from that place over on Cavanaugh."

Fuck.

I completely forgot Y/N was coming by to watch the game with us today. But there she was, my absolute kryptonite dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a loose fitting shirt, a sleeve of tattoos cascading down her left arm.

And she brought steaks.

Fuck.

"Are you on something?" She peered up at me and that was when I realized I hadn't opened my fucking mouth and said hello.

I laughed, nodding like the dumb fucking dingbat that I was. "Nah, course not. We were waiting to light this bad boy up until you got here." I grabbed the freshly rolled blunt off the table next to Deran.

I may have forgotten that she was coming, but Craig Cody knows how to save the motherfucking day.

Y/N shifted the brown paper bag from one arm to the other, popping her hip out slightly and resting it there.

"Oh, shit." I stuck the tip of the blunt between my lips and reached my hand out, taking the bag from her. "Let me take 'em inside. You want a beer?" I was already walking away, talking over my shoulder. "I got that imported stuff from Sully's."

She laughed and it was genuinely the sweetest fucking sound I ever heard. I loved when she laughed for me, loved when she smiled at something I said.

It was fucked up. I usually only liked when girls moaned. But Y/N could read the back of a cereal box I'd be completely riveted.

The steaks were in the fridge and I was popping the cap off the beer when Deran slowly meandered into the kitchen. "Dude, why don't you just make a fucking move already?"

I glared at him, pausing. "What are you talking about?"

He groaned, pressing his palms flat against the counter. "Y/N. Please just do something about it because this is so fucking brutal to watch. You're a walking heart eye emoji."

Deran was already walking away, done with the conversation. "Yeah? Well you're a... eggplant emoji."

Adrian, who had wandered over, nodded in agreement. "Goddamn right he is."

Y/N walked over with a laugh as the other two left, taking the beer from me. "So what about me?"

She took a sip and I zeroed in on her lips. "Uh... what?"

"What emoji would I be?"

I said it without thinking, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them. "The peach one. Definitely."

@watery-lane just putting it out there that the only person you're supposed to be a pile of mush for is me

Also I love you

🥰

[creepingsharia]

New Jersey: Man who funded Hamas, spoke of bombing Trump Tower, attacking Israeli Consulate is arrested

A Somerset County, New Jersey, man was arrested today for attempting to provide material support to Hamas, lying on his application to enlist in the U.S. Army, and making a threat against pro-Israel supporters, U.S. Attorney Craig Carpenito, Assistant Attorney General John C. Demers of the U.S. Department of Justice’s National Security Division, FBI-Newark Special Agent in Charge Gregory W. Ehrie and FBI Assistant Director for Counterterrorism Michael McGarrity announced.

Jonathan Xie, 20, of Basking Ridge, New Jersey, was arrested this morning and is charged by complaint with two counts of attempting to provide material support to a designated terrorist organization, two counts of making false statements, and one count of transmitting a threat in interstate commerce. He is scheduled to appear this afternoon before U.S. Magistrate Judge Mark Falk in Newark federal court.

According to documents filed in this case and statements made in court:

In April 2019, Xie appeared in an Instagram Live video wearing a black ski mask and stated that he was against Zionism and the neo-liberal establishment. When asked by another participant in the video if he would go to Gaza and join Hamas, Xie stated “yes, If I could find a way.” Later in the video, Xie displayed a Hamas flag and retrieved a handgun. He then stated “I’m gonna go to the [expletive] pro-Israel march and I’m going to shoot everybody.” In subsequent Instagram posts, Xie stated, “I want to shoot the pro-israel demonstrators . . . you can get a gun and shoot your way through or use a vehicle and ram people . . . all you need is a gun or vehicle to go on a rampage . . . I do not care if security forces come after me, they will have to put a bullet in my head to stop me.”

In December 2018, Xie sent $100 via Moneygram to an individual in Gaza who Xie believed to be a member of the Al-Qassam Brigades – a faction of Hamas that has conducted attacks, to include suicide bombings against civilian targets inside Israel. At approximately the same time that Xie sent the money, he posted on his Instagram account “Just donated $100 to Hamas. Pretty sure it was illegal but I don’t give a damn.” In April 2019, Xie sent a link to a website for the Al-Qassam Brigades to an FBI employee who was acting online in an undercover capacity. Xie described the website as a “Hamas” website and stated he had previously sent a donation to the group. Xie then sent screenshots of the website to the undercover employee and demonstrated how to use a new feature on the website that allows donations to be sent via Bitcoin. On or about April 26, 2019, Xie sent a donation of approximately $20 in Bitcoin (including transaction fees) via the website as a test to see whether the Bitcoin feature worked.

In February 2019, Xie stated that he wanted to join the U.S. Army “to learn how to kill… So I can use that knowledge.” He stated “Idk [I don’t know] if I pass the training…If I should do lone wolf.That is why I have to learn military techniques from the Army . . . ” Consistent with his plan to join the U.S. Army, Xie completed Security Clearance Application for National Security Positions in February 2019. He answered “no” to the question “Have you EVER associated with anyone involved in activities to further terrorism?” An error occurred in processing Xie’s application and Xie was required to complete the application a second time approximately ten days later. He again answered “no” to the question.

The investigation revealed additional social media accounts for Xie, including a YouTube account which contained, among other things, a playlist containing videos, many of which advocated or propagandized Soldiers for Allah, the war in Syria, Hezbollah (a foreign terrorist organization), and the Houthi movement in Yemen, as well as support for Bashar al Assad, Saddam Hussein, and North Korea.

Around April 20, 2019, FBI surveillance observed Xie outside of the Trump Tower building in New York City. Shortly thereafter, according to Instagram records, Xie posted two photos to his Instagram account: One with the words “I want to bomb Trump Tower" imposed over the building image and the other with the words “[S]hould I bomb Trump Tower,” a “Yes/No” poll, and an emoji of a bomb imposed over the Trump Tower building image. Xie subsequently posted on Instagram, “Okay, so I went to NYC today and passed by Trump Tower and then I started laughing hysterically . . . shit I forgot to visit the Israeli embassy in NYC . . .i want to bomb this place along with trump tower.”

Each count of attempt to provide material support to a designated terrorist organization carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. Each count of making false statements related to international and domestic terrorism carries a maximum penalty of eight years in prison and a $250,000 fine. The count of transmitting a threat in interstate commerce carries a penalty of five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

[javaclown]

naruto, octane, death the kid, craig, kenny, tweek

this is stef isn’t italso. *inserts gun emoji here* explain pls i am curious

[experimentaltranslation]

PROCEDURES - ADAPTATION

1. Translate a recipe without adapting. Make that recipe. Invite friends over to eat it. 

2. Perform a written text with your body. With several bodies. (TECT)

3. Translate asemic writing (Harriet Carter and Ricarda Vidal)

4. Translate marks on a table, wall or other surface into a linguistic text (Ricarda Vidal)

5. Translate by listening to a text with the shower running (Alison Cobb and Jen Coleman)

6. Translate a text through translucent glass (Alison Cobb and Jen Coleman)

7. Translate ‘untranslatable’ glyphs (Philip K Terry, mIEKAL aND)

8. Translate a text into a ball, board or other kind of game (Stacy Doris)

9. Translate languages into their sounds; variation: use this to create a collective polyvocal sound work (Heather Connolly).

10. Transpose music into painting (Harriet Carter)

11. Translate visual poetry, typography, collaged art objects, book art (Rothenberg and Joris’s translation of Schwitters; Madeleine Campbell and Ricarda Vidal)

12. Translate poetry into photographs (Khaironi Bairokka)

13. Translate birdsong (Lisa Robertson, Irène Gayraud)

14. Translate other kinds of animal communication, or between animal languages. 

15. Translate a tree or tree communication. 

16. Translate the lines on a leaf. Read a flower as a text (Zoë Skoulding)

17. Do an ekphrastic translation of a drawing or comic strip (Eric Suchère/Sandra Dollar)/

18. Translate a notion into a diagram (Outranspo list of constraints and prefixes)

19. Translate a text by shooting it with a gun and translating what remains (Christian Hawkey)

20. Or, number 19 for pacifists: translate a text by cutting it into a snowflake and translating what remains.

21. Translate a text into music (Anne Guthrie, Craig Dworkin), or music into text, dance, gesture, image, object etc (Karen Bennet). Translate song or a song. 

22. Translate a text into emojis (Mónica de la Torre)

23. Translate a text in emojis back into written language (Camille Bloomfield, Lily Robert-Foley)

24. Translate a written or spoken text into a sculpture (Elise Aru).

25. Use translation as an impetus for the construction of a structure (Cildo Meireles)

26. Translating song into sign-language (Angela Tiziana Tarantini, )

27. Translating theatre into sign-language and movement (

28. Translation using synesthesia (Clive Scott, Camille Bloomfield and Paolo Bellomo)

29. Translate in complete darkness (Camille Bloomfield and Paolo Bellomo)

30. Translate from memory (Anthony/Vahni Capildeo)

31. Translating sign language into ‘Signart’ (Kyra Pollitt)

32. Translate alphabet into dance (Sabine Macher)

33. Translate images into dance (Ella McCartney), dance into language (Jennifer K. Dick)

34. Translate the computer’s native language. 

35. Translate an abecedarium. 

36. Translate jokes, untranslatable wordplays. Translate physical comedy or body language (Robinson).

37. Translate organic sounds into electronic sounds (Karl Katschthaler)

38. Translate by drowning a text in water or other substance for several minutes, days or years; translate the result. 

39. Translate into a language with no signifieds

40. Translate into a language with no signifiers

41. Translate into a language with no dictionaries and no iterations. 

42. Bury this book underground. Leave a note for someone to dig it up and translate it after your death. 

[byoungernj]

California International Marathon 2019

It’s taken me awhile to sit down and write about CIM 19, mostly because life went on and the urge never got strong enough for me to write. But what can I say. I had the best build up ever and the week of the race, my anxiety got the best of me and my gut. So as I sit at home in the age of quarantine, drinking a way to hoppy for me beer, I’ll try to recall this past fall.

Coming off of Chicago I was in a rough place. It was dark and miserable and I want to hug my counselor because she changed me for the better. In the spring, my body decided to check out and after months of doctors appointments and low, controlled mileage I discovered I was struggling through chronic fatigue syndrome. My legs hurt so bad simply laying down, I loathed the thought of getting out of bed. It lasted into the summer. I ran the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta on July 4th for fun. I suited up in my Oiselle gear and poured sweat through the hilly streets, crossing Georgia off my list of states to run a road race in. After a few days off I started to build back up in prep for my CIM build up. One day, I don’t remember which one, I realized my legs had stopped aching. Runs were starting to feel normal again and running became enjoyable.

I had chosen CIM again because I wanted my next attempt at breaking 3 to be something I got excited for. The buildup to Chicago lacked any sort of emotion other than the f word. It is a decent size marathon, not a pancake of a course, usually great weather, and a fun trip overall. A friend of mine decided to join as well, making for a very fun travel party. It was through this spring and summer that I had begun a new ambition. I was taking prerequisites to go back to school. Having this new goal to work towards helped to keep me motivated outside of my usual run and work combo.

The first month or so of training was just so so. It was still summer in North Carolina and the heat and I are mortal enemies. Craig and I continued with similar workouts to my last CIM build up. The first half of that build up was in the summer heat of New Orleans, so it wasn’t surprising that my early workouts were better than before. But what excited me looking back at my old training journal was that I was putting together more cumulative weeks of quality workouts compared to the last build up. Workouts started to click sooner and I was running faster than I ever had. It was somewhere near the end of the first ⅔ of this training block that I had this overwhelming feeling post workout. For the first time in a very very long time, I was having FUN with training. I wasn’t staying up the night before a workout with anxiety or fear of how it would go. I didn’t dread the thought of getting up and putting in hours of running on Sundays. If a workout wasn’t completely hit out of the park, I was okay. A bad workout has to happen. I need to get it out of my system now so it doesn’t sneak up on race day.

Well the first bad workout happened to come on the day of my half marathon at the Bull City Running Fest. I ran this exact half in prep for my last CIM. It’s ridiculously hilly so keeping race pace on this course will give me an extra boost for the rolling hills of Sacramento. Well this year was a wee bit different. It was pouring. Like Forrest Gump big ol’ fat rain. I started to laugh on the start line that I put sunscreen on that morning. The course had changed as well. I found out a few weeks later it was due to a sinkhole a little too close for comfort on the old course. This year’s course had 3 hairpin turns that killed what I considered momentum that day. From the gun my legs wouldn’t move. I hit the first mile which is half uphill but after that I struggled a bit. After the first 8 miles I found myself counting down how many miles were left until I was done. I became frustrated at how it felt we only ran uphill. I would turn a corner, boom uphill. Get to the top, turn another corner, boom steeper uphill. Around 9 miles I checked out. I was so frustrated at how off this day was and that this damn course was terrible. I came in slower than marathon pace but what I was most angry about was where my mind went. It was as if everything I had pushed past this fall was hiding out in Durham.

What made me proud though was that a few days later I decided to give myself another chance. There was a half in Raleigh 2 weeks after Bull City. It was a cold, beautiful day. My legs felt light and free. I started out too fast but the pace felt comfortable. 13 miles later I pressed the pace and finished with a PR and an overall female win. That was the effort I knew I was putting together in my workouts. That was the effort that showed I was in the best shape of my life. It made me want to race CIM already but unfortunately I had to wait another 6 weeks.

The rest of training continued to go great. So great it began to worry me when I started to taper. Had I not gotten enough bad efforts out of my legs to prevent it from popping up on race day? Workouts were faster, I closed long runs faster than goal pace, I felt strong. But my dear friend anxiety decided to roar back day by day as race day got closer. I became even more of a germaphobe, I wore a mask on the train back from Thanksgiving, I was convinced I was going to get sick so much that when my throat started to feel rough the Wednesday before, I felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders. But it wasn’t a sense of relief, it was the emoji where the girl is shrugging with her hands in the air. Welp, I was sick. But looking back, I don’t think I really was because after the race was over, the throat discomfort was nowhere to be found. The day before the race we ate at one of the restaurants my mom and I had eaten at 2 years prior. I had the same dish I had then as well. But after that meal my stomach felt way too full. When dinner came around, I didn’t have any sense of hunger but I knew I needed to eat for fuel. That night I was tired but my stomach had a different agenda. I spent most of the night in the bathroom. Not urgently but frequently. I usually don’t sleep much the night before but this was by far the least I’ve ever slept.

Come race morning I felt no better. I tried to down my typical morning fuel but was still too full. Also, reflecting back, I was so off my game that morning. I planned like a rookie and almost ruined my friend’s race morning as well. I planned to get to the buses way too late so we stood in line for over a half hour. Once we got out to Fulsom I thought we’d have some time to sit on the bus, as I did last time. I was wrong. After sitting for a little, we ventured out to way to long bathroom lines which prevented me from my normal warm up and me completely panicking trying to drop off my bag and get into my corral near the pacer. I made it but was completely unsettled. I took a few deep breaths but was uncomfortable not having gone through my routine. I looked to my right and saw an old college training partner. A ‘side hug’ helped ease my nerves. The weather was not ideal either. It was humid and overcast. It had rained that night and drizzled a bit during parts of the race.

The gun went off and I settled down. I was tucked in right behind the pacers. One of them was who I had followed 2 years ago, which made me happy. Around 8 miles I started having negative thoughts. Some in the frame of ‘we’re only at 8 miles?!’ others ‘you have so far to go, this is taking forever.’ I fought them off and tried to focus on other things or combat them with positive rebuttals. Around mile 10 my legs started to not feel so great. I was actually a few steps in front of the pace group but tried to keep them in ear shot. I took a mile or so to slow up for them to catch me and for my legs to recover.  Around mile 10 my legs started to not feel so great. Again the negative gremlins came into my brain. My response was this is just a rough patch, you’ll be fine, stick with it. But 4 miles later I was still not feeling so hot. I had come through the half realizing I was straining and had 13 miles to go. It became a 1 mile at a time race. The ‘rough patch’ wasn’t going away. It was around mile 14 I knew this wasn’t going to be the day. At mile 16 I fell a few steps behind the group at a water stop and I realized that was it. The group was gone. I kept a pace that allowed me to have them in site for a few more miles.

A small side story. At CIM 2017, I got to see a former college teammate and his twin at the Oiselle afterparty. I hadn’t seen him since college and it was great catching up. He was so proud of his brother and it radiated off of him the entire afternoon. Sadly, a short time after his brother took his own life. I’ve seen him once since then and couldn’t embrace him long or tight enough. The day before this years’ race, he reached out to me that he was there and running in his brother’s honor. After the group was out of site, I saw him on the side of the road talking to someone. I called out his name and he jumped in for a mile with me. We shared a few thoughts of his brother and I struggled to find the right words of how proud his brother is of him and that he was there with him. I made plans to see him after and I grabbed his hand before I told me to go ahead. Had I not been having this type of day, I would have never shared that with him. Silver linings.

Around mile 23 we cross a small bridge. On the bridge was a ‘cheer station’ of women on bikes. In a moment, I noticed their signs said ‘TR Loves You’. I have no clue what TR stood for in this context but TR to me stands for my hometown of Toms River. As I crossed the end of the bridge, there sat a little corgi. The combination of these two little ‘signs’ brought tears to my eyes and smacked me out of my pity party. My legs took off and my watch told me I was back on my original goal marathon pace. I was almost done and got the motivation to finish the best I could. This may not be a sub 3 marathon, but it was going to be a fast time for me. The final half mile of CIM makes a U. This anticipation of the first of two left hand turns lasted forever. Way longer than I remember. Once I reached it I made the last turns, legs burning for the past mile. I crossed in my second fastest marathon time. The friend of mine from the start was at the finish, she had finished a few minutes ahead of me. Neither of us had the day we wanted but not the worst day. Not a Chicago.

Another side story. The friend who had come to run the race with me was chasing a BQ and on a quest to beat her dad’s marathon time. I sat down on the curl just beyond the finish line. No one was bothering me so I realized I could sit there and if she made the time, I would see her. I ended up being told I could not sit there any longer just seconds before I looked up and saw her. She had blown her dad’s time out of the water and was on her way to Boston. I was more excited for her race the entire weekend and I enjoyed the moment at the finish of her achieving her goals.

Looking back that evening, my stomach still unsettled, I was disappointed. The day did not reflect how fit I was. I had gotten ‘sick’ at the wrong time. I gave myself a few days before I decided on my next goal. During the race, after I had fallen off, I had already begun to brainstorm where I would make my next sub 3 attempt. I made myself wait two full weeks after the race before I clicked register on my next marathon. I was finally loving training. I actually was missing training for the first time ever in my life. I set my sights on Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth Minnesota that June. It was a place I’ve never been too, the home of my favorite pro Kara Goucher, and a fast course. I was prepared to train through what would be my last collegiate season as an athletic trainer. I am heading to physical therapy school this coming August so this would be one last celebration of miles.

I look back and realize I was never sick. I was anxious. I learned this when the pandemic took over the United States and the phantom throat discomfort returned the day the reality of the situation really hit me. I had grown so much in my fight against this invisible jerk. Yet it got the better of me yet again race week. Heading into this build up I welcomed the distraction of the baseball season. I thought it would help in occupying my anxiety. But the world had a different plan. Grandma’s is now cancelled. Not postponed, cancelled. More silver linings as I am now sitting at home with an injury that is preventing me from running. I can physically run but it’s extremely painful during and after. For the first time in my adult life, I have time to sit and relax and rest and heal. I’m taking it for what it is. I am signed up for the NYC Marathon in November and am hoping to simply enjoy the day.

Now I am proud of CIM 2019. It was not what I knew I could run but it was my second fastest marathon. If a 3:04:14 is an ‘off-day’ for me, that’s a pretty good thing in my book. Before the race was cancelled I was back to ripping workouts. I was back enjoying running and training. That feeling will come back. Racing will return. And I’ll run CIM again because it is still my favorite marathon. Peace and love Sacramento.

[vince-ebooks]

ok how 'bout a really tangential/dumb RPG dream daddy au

Joseph: The Cult Leader Boss in the secret dungeon, drops the Lost Shaker of Salt. Weak to pot brownies and sick dance moves. New Game + lets you rid Maple Bay of the curse once and for all, allowing Joseph to have a happy and healthy relationship like he deserves (now that's a tru end)

OR if you don’t jive with the whole cult thing (and that’s ok!) then he’s just ya friendly neighborhood white mage that is in a happy and healthy relationship like he deserves

Brian: friendly weaponsmith and arms dealer. always has discounts on shields and armor because he wants you to be safe!! breaking his record in Fishing levels and knocking 18 slimes into various holes scattered across the bay unlocks his Reach and Cut 3000 as well as stat-boosting cuddles. smooch emoji. All his battles are Pokemon format. Gives the most sidequests

Mat: travelling Bard. Literally lucio. Has to have the best taste in music, or your travelling party would be falling asleep during the journey. Smells faintly like daisies and baked goods, increasing the odds of random encounter battles with bird-types.

Hugo: teacher/archwizard. Knows the strongest cheese and wine based spells. Largest collection of tomes. Everyone is jealous of his stylish robes like seriously. His limit break is him literally suplexing someone

Craig: like, a level 69 scout or something, bro. His loyalty sidequest is just you and him chillin' because he needs it yo. River's capybara plushie is arcane, and will become Real and Deadly to protect u. Advises your dadsona against using Joseph's yacht for fast travel to and from the bay, because it's healthier to swim

Robert: ghost hunter/ paranormal ice trucker. So like a summoner/hunter kinda thing? His pit (is it a pit? fuck me robert) and brian's dog maxwell are indestructable npcs that sit in the sidelines during combat to support you!! whiskey doubles his strength, as does supporting him through his vulnerabilities and watching sappy romcoms

Damien: duke of Maple Bay. Rides a horse into battle with hair as beautiful as his. Probably wields blood magic and taught hugo those spells. Vampire/Black Mage? Levelling him to max releases the puppies he takes care of at the animal shelter, adding them to the dog audience on the sidelines

Amanda: Kicks Ass. a ranger that HAS A PROBLEM WITH AUTHORITY. Consider: Finger guns shoot actual bullets. Can probably pull some Life is Strange business with her photography. Thus, is literally Tracer + Prompto. cracks equally hammy puns during battle. Always support our internet daughter

[seeksstaronmewni]

Samurai Jack Season 5 in Review: EPISODE XCII

Here is my absolute favorite Samurai Jack episode, because it’s not the end. It’s only the beginning of the end.

I was on the hype train for the return of @cartoonnetwork​’s Samurai Jack after I saw the Season 5 trailer on February 8th, 2017 A.D. (I made a recent post to celebrate it) One reason was that I became obsessed about The Powerpuff Girls during the nostalgically incorrect Season 7 (the first “reboot” season) due to a liking for the Season 5-6 designs and animation, a part of the "Cartoon Cartoons” I grew up watching... and I was right to expect former PPG creatives on it! This post highlights the events of the episode and why it’s one of the best Samurai Jack episodes ever--and how much I binged on it at first! You can check the episode out here (Season 5 reran Sunday mornings at 3:30A on Adult Swim), and soon on HBO Max. Also, if you’re on Twitter, check the links to my tweets in the underlined text! They’re old tweets and need some love!

If you saw not this episode yet, be aware of SPOILERS!

/!\ SAMURAI JACK This Program is rated TV-14-V. Intense Violence.

X

The day of the season’s premiere, March 11th, 2017 A.D., too late found I that [as] was doing a streaming of Season 1-4 (I came in during EPISODE XXXIII’s “Wild Ride”). Following was a Q&A livestream with Genndy Tartakovsky, during which I tried again and again to call, but the line was always busy. Luckily Season 5′s premiere was going to be for free--online--via the stream at 10:40P! I was so there for it! Of course I watched the televised premiere on @adultswim​, but the stream first!

While I began ceasing from trying to get Genndy on the PPGs again, all of a sudden...

...it began, and I was totally there for it.

A view of a distant town (not Townsville) appeared. All quiet.

That is until an explosion or 2 set off (and not with the stereotypical H-B/Universal “powah-wahh” explosion sounds either). There goes the giant windmill.

Partially and slowly revealed is that some aliens are on the run from the town...

...from those “beetle bots”. GIANT beetle bots, I might add.

There is this precious little moment where, being surrounded by the giant beetle bots, the mother and daughter visually--not by speech--exchange “I love you!” to each other with hearts in place of “love”. Oh, and there’s a baby too.

As the beetle bots come to a stop, the sound grows quiet. A motorcycle is heard approaching. When the motorcycle is revealed close-up, Tyler Bates’ bass-filled music is sparked: a warrior with a serious, menacing face is riding on these hot wheels...

...and he aims his machine gun out... only to launch a projectile at these familiar foes...

...resulting in the first explosion Jack caused in this glorious 5th season.

He slowly circles around with his gun. Is he a threat to the aliens?

Nope. Just pwning more evil scrap metal.

Once I heard the Looney Tunes-esq “pshhh...” of smoke from his guns, I became more certain that Joel Valentine was back on the show... unlike the PPG “reboot”.

As the Season 5 sneak revealed late in February 2017 shows, the warrior’s motorcycle is packed with punk tires that can scrap these pests up! All of his guns are just as lethal... with all of those cool action shots and poses and all.

The warrior then reveals another weapon: not a sword, exactly, but some manner of pitchfork on one tip and a taser on the other. Graphically, he destroys one beetle bot by twisting the wires inside, and proceeds to scrap the rest until one of them knocks... the mask off?

That warrior is none other than the samurai called...

“...?”

Just another day in the life of the samurai! Shouting a charging yell, Jack continues smashing the wires out of the beetle bots with a front scruff that fits perfectly with the mane... a look that is very appropriate, new and fitting for Jack.

The daughter gives a symbol of either “Is it dead?” or disgust. Because of the emoticons that are a major part of their visual language, I suppose that these aliens should be called... emoji-fawns?

“50 years have passed, but I do not age.”

As the samurai continues onward into the sunset, a new intro is revealed for Jack to explain how much worse things are become. The former intro started with Aku’s prologue before the theme song, but Season 5′s intro is pretty much a prologue. This feels true to the nature of of The Powerpuff Girls’ former intro which also started with a prologue, but PPG Season 7-9 has a shorter, different intro (although the extended version has an updated version of the prologue with most of its original Tom Kenny narration, “DJ Avalanche” score, and few of Joel’s SFX).

Regarding Jack’s opening statement, creator Genndy Tartakovsky said that 50 years were passed apparently between the events of EPISODE LII, “Jack and the Baby”, and EPISODE XCII. I think, however, that Jack meant that 50 year passed since he ended up in the future in EPISODE II, “The Samurai Called Jack”. There could be more seasons of this show to explore more adventures of Jack, regardless of the time that passed; if anything, turn those comic books into episodes!

Anyway, for some reason, the rip in time Aku created to send Jack into the future caused Jack’s body to supposedly not grow old, though I believe that, slowly, he still aged to a point. Aku’s still the bad guy (with a new voice, but I talk about this in XCIII’s post), and hope seems lost unless Jack can return to the past.

The intro ends with a slow reveal of the shows title, burning red in the dark, sporting an epic, exciting, modernly cinematic feel to the show. What follows, of course, is a scene just as cinematic...

A quiet, eerie chant of the name “Aku” subtly fills the dark, fire-lit room. This reveals the worship of a great evil which reminds us of how dangerous and powerful Aku truly is... given that “Jack vs. Aku” is the previous episode where Aku has a speaking role (you know... “EXTRA THICK!”), though he vocalizes in a following episode “Seasons of Death”.

The episode’s opening credits reveal that Bryan Andrews and Genndy Tartakovsky are the main board artists for this season, still directed by Tartakovsky himself with art direction by Scott Wills. Apparently, character design was very crucial to this season, so the main character designer of the season, Craig Kellman, is listed at the beginning on all of these episodes. This’s rare for cartoon shows, but this isn’t much different from old CN shows of the 1990′s like Dexter’s Laboratory crediting the model/character designers on the episode’s opening credits.

“They will succeed where so many others have failed, and we will find favor in your glory.”

Seven daughters?! Is that kind of physical labor even possible?! That explains all of Grey Delisle-Griffin’s screams, but she’s soon back on her feet... to raise her children to serve pure evil.

BTW, it’s a good thing that the baby vocals that Joel used are not the common Sound Ideas Series 6000 cries, since that recording is far more annoying. Anyway, I find the scene very intriguing and exciting because it’s all really dark, and that’s something that “kids” shows often weren’t in the past. It all just feels so epic that it sucks you in; am I right?

Back to Jack: the score revs up quickly in this montage of Jack riding around the country, wherever he is, as if he’s on some epic quest. Is he looking for a time portal or Aku’s place?

It’s Fall at this point and Jack’s in a pretty forest. The lighting is beautiful, cinematic and very realistic in this shot--one of my favorites from this episode. The paintings are still by art director Scott Wills; they’re just digital.

Such scenes as this are long periods of no dialogue, where music and sound can help to set the mood--sometimes, a very peaceful mood...

...until, slowly but surely, Jack’s mind is hauntingly messed up. This’s where Tyler Bates’ music hits on the slow, hardcore, eerie, electronic percussion that subtly drives the intense situation that’s not like what kid’s action shows used to be. This would be frightening to younger children, but the sheer terror of this scene is awesome, and the music is hardcore hot!

Some days later, we go to another sequence that occurs at night, where we focus first on a cute little owl hooting (and not the cliche, classic H-B/Valentino SFX Library owl hoot that many cartoons use, including past episodes of Samurai Jack). This goes to show just how realistic Joel’s sound design can be, and I admire him greatly for that attention to detail.

Jack endured another vision that night, where his father claims that he never came back, though Jack revealed that “Aku destroyed the way home!”

The way? How many time portals or such were there?

“He destroyed everything! Everything is burning!”

Woah. Was it something that Jack ate? It may be that that rat was under-cooked...

Anyway, every time Jack was haunted by the visions, a mysterious figure appeared afterward. Now Jack was motivated to find the village that he previously noticed was under attack. Time for a commercial break... and a breather for us fans of this nostalgic series!

As we return from commercial, we see the progression of the 7 daughters in training. They kind of remind me of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten’s students... but taller.

Training is tough on these little munchkins, though--but Ashi is distracted by a light that comes from the outdoors... to which her mother slowly objects. Her strength endures some real testing over time with her mother’s harsh treatment!

“Are you weak?!”

I mean... I felt like it was almost all over for Ashi at this point.

Luckily for her, “Aku’s fire stirs inside”. The art direction on the following scene is very interesting in terms of lighting: black, white and some red. It helps for the simply-detailed designs to stand out more. Since I saw very little of Sym-Bionic Titan at this point, Ashi’s hairstyle reminded me somewhat of Ilana (who has the same hairstyle and same voice actress, Tara Strong).

Meanwhile, Jack walked through the village to find whoever caused the destruction. He comes to a shady figure in the smoke, revealed to be a hot-shot assassin robot who goes by many names...

“Scaramouch the merciless! The Pied Piper of Ruination! The Crooner of Carnage! The Ambassador of Annihilation! The Eradicator of All, baby!”

The chipper, upbeat, overly positive attitude of “Aku’s most favorite assassin” made him instantly lovable. I loved this tin man from pretty much the very beginning. I immediately tweeted about this guy during the online premiere. I took a little while to know who voiced this guy (kind of sounded like Jimmy Gourd to me for some reason), but it was certainly familiar. Tom Kenny is the groovin’ voice of Scaramouche--another iconic voice from the man who narrated The Powerpuff Girls and voiced the Mayor of Townsville, Spongebob, Bon Bon the Birthday Clown and so many other great voices!

“Wait. Back off, beardsly. Where... is... your sword?”

You were probably wondering about that... so was I.

“You... lost... your sword!”

Well, the coloring on the handle of the sword is reversed in this shot, and it was just brown for the previous shot of the sword, but... yeah. Flashback to an episode that appeared not in Season 4. Destined to become an episode in the next season if CN makes any to explore the pre-Season 5 events.

Jack’s new pitchfork/taser thingy still makes the same “ching” sounds that his sword makes (and not the cliche Hollywood Edge recordings), though.

Anyway, Scaramouch was about to tell Aku the news (Aku apparently forgot about Scaramouch ‘cause he’s all like “Who is this?” First line since “Jack vs. Aku”!) when Jack and Scaramouch dance in a duel of musical magic.

“Ooh, nice choreography, baby!” Scaramouch replied. In a tweet I made of that line, I was thinking of cinematography instead and noted this to art director Scott Wills. I probably meant to note this to board artists Bryan Andrews & Genndy Tartakovsky.

Oh I just LOVE that “fffwwwhOOMP!” sound there on the ease-in. Joel Valentine packs the perfect punch into the sound of an object’s weight with those big whoosh sounds.

More important, perhaps: how can Scaramouch play the flute when he’s just a robot? He hasn’t any lungs or lips... that I know of... though he apparently has teeth and a tongue, and I can hear breath sounds during his lines... and his voice sounds not at all robotic!

Jack can really throw some real weight around as he battles against a monster made by music and of building parts...

“That samurai has gone beaucoup cuckoo!”

...but his haunting visions distract him from his heroic efforts...

...once again seemingly attributed to that shadowy figure. This is a “CinemaScope” ratio for this shot, while the show is in standard widescreen (1.78:1 “matted”/”flat”). Those ratios can change a lot, kind of like IMAX (in movies in IMAX, one often sees certain shots of a 2.39:1 movie turning into 1.78:1 on a large screen, and the ratio goes back and forth). Still, ultimately the show is not in “letterbox” widescreen / “scope” format, like most Cartoon Network DVDs say; perhaps Warner Bros. Home Entertainment says this because Star Wars: The Clone Wars (the Dave Filoni series, only produced for Turner networks) was in 2.39:1; this caught on to some [as] shows like Genndy Tartakovsky’s Primal and Tigtone (the logos are 1.78:1, however), but most CN shows are just in 1.78:1.

Anyway, knocked out of his mentally overwhelmed state, Jack was back into the fight, but, even though he sliced the flute in half, Scaramouch was the real “musical magic”. He just goes all “Scatman John” on Jack and can control wherever his sword goes, striking it right at Jack!

This is definitely one of my favorite shots from the episode... a slow-mo shot.

Jack seems to be fighting the sword itself until he comes closer to Scaramouch, who soon pulls another cold blade out...

“Dig that beautiful sound, baby!”

...a split blade whose very tone of ring when clashed against an object can cause the clashed object to explode!

Luckily, Jack has good aim for his sword... so good, that it just blows Scaramouch away.

“Looks like you’re the headliner now; huh?”

Was...

...is...

...and always will be.

Before the end of the episode, we see the last of the 7 daughters’ training. The music here just rocks. Its long, harsh percussion and bass-blowing beats really drive all of the action in this sequence.

This shot has great animation and angles, where Ashi shows an opponent who’s boss as she grabs the 3rd arrow shot and kills her with it.

For more sensitive viewers, first note that this and the following shot are violent/bloody enough to earn the episode its “TV-14-V” rating “for some intense violence” (I’d think that “TV-PG-V” might fit it, since it’s not as strong as it could be). However, CN aired some “TV-14-V” rated movies on their “Action Flicks” block back in early 2009 (i.e. Batman: Gotham Night). That’s right: CN, not [adult swim]! Since, like, 2007 or 2008, they aired a lot of TV-PG rated cartoons like Teletoon’s edgy Total Drama franchise, Regular Show, MAD, Teen Titans Go!, and even The Tom and Jerry Show (though that one seems overrated). I can understand why they often rated certain programs TV-PG-V: even a kick or punch could be a bad influence if a kid was prone to imitating action (The G-rated Garfield’s Pet Force strangely earned this rating too). The point is that CN needs to air Samurai Jack Season 5 on, even if some of the episodes are bloody (only few deserve the TV-14-V rating IMHO). They might be able to cut EPISODE XCII down to a TV-Y7-FV, perhaps.

It’s nice to see that Darrick Bachman from Paul Rudish’s Mickey Mouse still served on this lovely season. He’s the head writer for the 5th season... and the upcoming video game Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time.

As a devote fan of “Cartoon Cartoons”, I personally point the sheet timers out since CN’s traditionally animated shows have lesser animation these days, namely SMIP-animated shows. I mean, that Robert Alvarez and Randy Myers did the “Sheet Timing” on this episode of Samurai Jack (animated by Digital eMation) and animation direction on Seasons 7-9 of The Powerpuff Girls (the “reboot” episodes, animated by SMIP). Compare the action sequences of both shows, and the animation/timing will stand out; unlike Samurai Jack, the 2016-2019 PPG episodes (like SMIP’s work on Infinity Train & Ben 10) usually lack weight in their rather gentle, slow-paced animation. Those PPG episodes animate not at all like The Powerpuff Girls Movie or any PPG episode where Genndy Tartakovsky directed.

Here’re some of the new people on Genndy’s team for Season 5: Susy Campos, Andy Flexner, Jackie Sheng and Dick Grunert. Production Assistants (or, in this case, maybe production coordinators) can turn into major creatives for the story or art of the show, so watch for those names in future CN Studios projects! Team Cartoon Network Studios rules!

This season’s prop design is in the hands of @heydusty​, who also contributed effects design and some character design / design clean-up. Dustin D’Arnault and others are new talent that live up to the work of Genndy Tartakovsky! The late and great Chris Reccardi returned, starting off with some prop designs as well. The design clean-up artists were also new to the team; these people clean the character, props and effects designs up after the respective designers did their designs, so they’re just as much designers as the designers listed. These “Clean Up” people are not to be confused for animation clean-up, however.

Next up are the background artists: “Layout Keys”/background designer Lou Romano (The Powerpuff Girls, Cats Don’t Dance, Ratatouille) and art director/Background Painter Scott Wills (The Ren & Stimpy Show, Quest for Camelot) bring the beautiful, colorful locations to life. Leticia Lacy, a former Spümcø member like Wills and Reccardi (and many other Cartoon Network Studios creatives), returned as a color stylist, who chooses the specific colors for the character, props and effects designed.

The voice credits are a bit lacking, since lesser characters are only listed as “ADDITIONAL VOICES”, compared to Seasons 1-4. This happened on Seasons 7-9 of The Powerpuff Girls too; i.e. Ms. Keane play supportive or minor roles in an episode, but Jennifer Hale is just credited as “ADDITIONAL VOICES”, though Keane is an important character to that series. Tara Strong is uncredited for voicing young Ashi since she only vocalizes--no lines. Greg Baldwin is in place of Mako as Mako passed away years before Season 5′s dialogue was recorded. Ultimately, though, Jack and his parents are still their respective voices, and it certainly is Phil LaMarr’s best.

Unlike Seasons 1-4, Genndy Tartakovsky himself served as the voice director; previously Colette Sunderman handled the voice direction. Aku may no longer be voiced by Mako, but Genndy was able to direct Greg Baldwin’s “Aku” voice himself. Robert Serda still served for engineering the dialogue recording equipment at CN Studios.

The score composers score with their super awesome hardcore score. Tyler Bates composed music for Genndy’s Sym-Bionic Titan (I can’t believe that I never watched that show when it aired). Joanne Higginbottom co-composes with Tyler on Primal. Dieter Hartman also contributed score on Samurai Jack Season 5. For this episode, no score mixer is listed. Music Editors are uncredited in this season.

The animation company on most episodes of Season 5 is Digital eMation, which looks much smoother than the designs in the digital animation of Rough Draft Studios (lines looks slightly blobby on close-ups). The animation directors credited on the series are generally the overseas animation directors; in Season 5 they’re listed on the end credits since they relate to the animation studio.

Regarding post-production, I was very happy to see Joel Valentine credited for “Sound Editing” (He used to prefer being credited by the name of his company “TWENTY FIRST CENTURY ENTERTAINMENT, INC.” AKA 21st CENTURY SOUND DESIGN CORP.). I was afraid that it would be like Dexter’s Laboratory Seasons 3-4 (or 5-6) and The Powerpuff Girls Seasons 7-9, where mixing studio Hacienda Post/Sabre Media would do the sound design, but luckily Joel was on it. This time, former Supervising Re-Recording Mixer Timothy J. Borquez, CAS is just a Re-Recording Mixer with Alex Borquez (former Hacienda mixer Eric Freeman moved to mixing and editing sound at Disney Television Animation in 2014); both Tim & Alex were Supervising Sound Editors and mixers on PPG’s reboot era. Also credited for the final mix is Taylor Pierce, then a Mix Assistant. Currently, Genndy’s shows credit Hacienda Post’s facility, Sabre Media Studios, Inc., as the “Audio Mixing Facility”, rather than referring to Hacienda/Sabre as Post-Production Sound Services (Joel Valentine/21st Century Entertainment is just as much a sound service, NOT just editing!). I’m not sure if any other editors are involved at Sabre/Hacienda, but someone was recording and performing foley for this show, and, due to time, they get no credit, which is a crime in my opinion since that brings the show to aural life. Paul Douglas remains as the Supervising Editor and Jim Hearn as the Dialogue Editor for CN.

The Cartoon Network Studios logo for this season was visually simple, as it was just the face reveal scene show inside the logo (CN tends to use episode clips more often than animatics these days). Joel Valentine fit the sound effects to this well, though, with the sounds of a sword (not the ones Joel tends to use) and an anime-like accent. As for the “reboot” PPG episodes, they just did something weird... (couldn’t they show, like, the Hanna-Barbera swirling star inside the CN Studios logo instead?! at least for nostalgia?)

The Williams Street logo ([adult swim]’s production company), complete with the Mark VII jingle, follows since it was produced for that often junky block of CN...

...but, on the digital copy prints, the 2016 Cartoon Network ID follows! Nostalgically, though, I prefer the 1999 “Cartoon Cartoons” ripple ID, which Samurai Jack and even PPG Seasons 7-8 used to show. I mind the 2016 ID on the PPG “reboot” episodes, but I mind it not on Samurai Jack because it proves that, while considered “Adult Swim”, the amazing Season 5 still remains a part of the “new new new new” era of Cartoon Network.

Any viewer of Samurai Jack could start with this episode as Jack’s adventures are just beetle bots here and Scaramouch there, occurring over few days. The other side of the episode, the youth of Ashi, occurs over probably years; this only sets the main events of Season 5 into action with the next episode.

As for me, I did all that I could with the streaming marathon of EPISODE XCII. It went on from, like, 10:48P or something until, like, 7:30A that morning. I couldn’t help but observe the episode again and again and again... I binged on it. I update the credits on IMDb. I tweet much about this episode and its team. By the end of over 8 hours of the episode’s stream, I felt that this was an appropriate response:

Before the end of this post, here’re reasons why EPISODE XCII is one of the best Samurai Jack episodes ever:

This “Cartoon Cartoon” returned after 12 years, 14 months and 5 days. According to Genndy’s forward on the Season 4 DVD, “The big question as we neared the end of production was, ‘Should we end the story and send Jack home?’ At the time, I felt that the proper way to end it would be to do a full-length movie - and still do. Hopefully, that movie is somewhere in the near future...” CN Asia-Pacific did this “Sayonara Samurai Jack” marathon for Season 4, but they were hasty, since the return came a dozen of years later, and Season 4 wasn’t the true end of the story. I feel the same about Disney Channel calling Star vs. the Forces of Evil Season 4′s finale “Cleaved!” the “series finale”, and both Daron Nefcy and fans look forward to more episodes in the future.

The nostalgic design and animation of Genndy’s Cartoon Network Studios team was something that the then-current Powerpuff Girls episodes were certainly lacking.

The action is just as intense and detailed as ever, with the right amount and style of music too. Perhaps even more wicked than before, though I miss “DJ Avalanche” James L. Venable, who wasn’t on it because he was busy with Clarence. Paul Rudish wasn’t on this season either, probably due to his hilarious vision of Mickey Mouse of course. Still, the stakes are high and handled well.

The precious moments of our little emoji-fawn family and the haunting fears of Samurai Jack are draaamaaa

The wonderful Scaramouch is our comic relief for the episode. Thanks, Tom Kenny!

“WATCH OUT!” There’s that classic closing to most of the episodes, just like we remembered it. The credits look just as simple as they looked before, too.

Next Episode’s Review

Tweet version here.

Tweet version as a shoutout to Tom Kenny & Greg Baldwin here.

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Trade Radio Ga Ga (’is this real life or just a fantasy?’)

WHAT a stupid year. 

The losers of the NRL Grand Final are paid out as winners by bookmakers, and not because of a silly betting promotion but because the code and its officials are as relevant and effective in their jobs as contraception to Irish catholic newlyweds on their honeymoon.

Where Donald Trump himself is evidence our species might now be regressing, the fact endless hours of Trade Radio always have talkback callers is the proof in that devolution pudding.

And in a year where all the conservatives and right-wingers in this country should be as excited as a Beagle on full lipstick following ScoMo’s Steven Bradbury effort in May, they’re got their pantyhose and pressed slacks in a twist because of what some Volvo factory-worker’s teenage daughter has to say about the inclement weather conditions.

There was chaos and anarchy on Swan Street for the second time in three years last month but Hold Kong locals asked Richmond fans if they could hold their beer. We lost Polly and Spud, and said vale, gone too soon, to Saturday Night Rove. Five clubs let go of their coaches, Pope Francis delisted one of his cardinals, and a ginger from Christchurch defeated his own country by the virtue of most boundaries.

But at least we retained the Ashes in England.

  1.       Let’s start with the footy, trades season is almost done. Hutchy to his credit was a genius for seeing revenue opportunity in this trade period, with an ‘insert sponsor here’ open line and hours and hours of coverage, its been a windfall and then some for his business. But I reckon we’re only a year or so away from the unwashed realising there’s no relevance in any of it until the final day. There’s only so many Terry Wallace orations on the merits of list analysis before your average punter switches off. Know when to hold them, know when to fold them, Craig.

2.       The biggest name out there with a day to go is Joe Daniher. Was that meeting with Tom Harley a personal one or an actual, official Swans’ approach? Soft tacos, hard tacos, why not both? Now we have Essendon playing hardball and who knows if it gets done. Chances are it does, Geelong last year with Tim Kelly was more exception than example, if the Swans want him bad enough, they’ll lump up the pieces, especially if they fear as I do that Bud’s barely got ten more games in him in a market that requires a star.

3.       St Kilda has a lot on. Jack Steven and Josh Bruce are two big losses, but getting in Dougal Howard, Bradley Hill, Zak Jones, Paddy Ryder and Dan Butler are some nice pieces. If Ratten can indeed coach, and as an ex-Clarko assistant he should be just fine, next year looks properly solid down at Moorabbin.

4.       Whats the thinking with the Dogs? Aaron Naughton looks like a key forward gun, and Josh Schache was just starting to show something as a footballer without being a star. Yet they’re throwing all the cash at Josh Bruce for a go at a third flag? I do know he was free to a good home because the Saints were hellbent Max King’s twin at the Gold Coast would head home next year – not now after that re-signing yesterday. Couple big mistakes there for mine.

5.       Tom Papley worth pick nine? Righto. And the Masked Singer will be popular on Australian television too, right?..... Yep, pick nine sounds about right then, forgive me.

6.       Jack Martin though, to Carlton, that’s the steal of the whole thing. Martin is a freak, who has gone underappreciated playing in the ghost town that is Gold Coast, for a horribly weak side, in a club that can’t develop anyone not named Tom Lynch. But has talent to burn and could easily become one of Carlton’s top 10 players next year, in fact based on the player he can become, he should. Think 2019 Michael Walters. Seriously. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

7.       Collingwood have cap issues? Really? Firstly who really knows, unlike North American sports where contracts are public, only each club really knows how much room they’ve got and how that ever would be divulged puzzles me. And yes they have to pay Grundy, De Goey and Moore next year, although the latter won’t be all that much given his hamstrings are like an Uber driver with turrets, unreliable and could snap at any time. But given the Pies were offering Tom Lynch the same financial terms as Richmond this time last year, with Scott Pendlebury out of contract next year and coming down in salary, with less stars to pay than West Coast, how is this a thing? It isn’t. Chris Mayne is overpaid, sure, but that’s it. Wells has retired, Beams took a cut, and unless George Calombaris oversaw their player payments and there’s backpay to cover off, I think it’s a total beat-up. But sure, let James Aish being wanted by his former backs coach at Freo to fuel that fable.

8.       Crows hired Matthew Nicks. Reckon that’s got fail all over it. Adelaide’s list is in a heap, the review basically said their post Grand-Final plans two years ago totally wiped the place out like a broken toilet on a buck’s weekend, and not seeing to the damage since has only exacerbated the crap spilling out all over the shop. Good half dozen or so quality players leaving this offseason, Walker and Sloane are the wrong side of 30 and they’ve got only a few good kids, most clubs around them have better youth and are more rapidly improving. Either Nicks can’t coach at the level or he can but the Crows will be a bad side regardless, either way it doesn’t see him making a new contract beyond whats given out today.

9.       NRL. Definiton of a pub league. Your local Wednesday night basketball is better run. And with better officiating. That Six Again controversy was the most befitting thing you’ll ever see to a sport, a sport where 13 of its 16 clubs run insolvent, but that’s ok because all their giant pokies-infested leagues club venues write them all a cheque to cover the losses each year. Absolute pub league.

10.   If an umpire or referee makes a bad call, it’s only made worse by changing that decision midstream. If a player marks the ball, but then the umpire overrules saying no, it was touched, its no mark, and because you’ve claimed it and made no attempt to get rid of it its now holding the ball, you just can’t do that. Kids are taught to play to the whistle. Except in rugby league then. Because chances are what the ref just said isn’t what he is about to mean in a couple seconds time, just be patient. That referee shouldn’t be crucified for what’s essentially just one error, but in the grand scheme of things, he needs witness protection. Or better yet, stay off the roster for trips to Canberra next season.

11.   It was mentioned in the preamble but no wonder SportsBet paid out all Canberra to win bets. The Raiders had all the momentum, it was 8-all, and it was near the Roosters tryline. They were no guarantee to score off that play, at best they might have got a repeat set. But if there was anyone more likely to break that deadlock given who was playing better but also, more importantly, the territory battle, it was the Green Machine. This isn’t SportsBet just being philanthropic, the result is just that shady.

12.   Speaking of Sportsbet – Western United. Made their A-League debut on the weekend, won one-nil in front of some fans at Wellington. But it was midweek that we saw their announcement which said “we are proud to announce SportsBet has joined the club as its exclusive sports wagering partner”. Firstly, poor form, in a city where all the AFL clubs are quite publicly backing out of gambling revenue, to be going the other way stinks big time. But secondly, what does that even mean? That if I go into a TAB all Western United games are unavailable to bet on. Coz that’s just not even close to true. Dumb and stupid in all of the ways, that.

13.   So the new boys have their home opener this weekend down at Geelong, even though they’re a team based out of Tarneit. Melbourne Victory when they’ve ventured down to Sleepy Hollow attract 14,000 or so, who knows how many turn up for the novelty first time around this Saturday. But going forward, given Melbourne City don’t exceed 10,000 and they play in town, if they’re getting anymore than 5,000-6,000 in what’s otherwise a 36,000 AFL venue, its going to look oh so pretty on television. What’s the opposite of the eggplant emoji?

14.   Few more on the A-League, firstly, why have your opening round smack bang in the middle of an international window? They were so hyper vigilant to schedule their opening round after the AFL and NRL had ended they failed to recognise all of the good Aussie players will be off winning 28-nil against Chinese Taipei or Christmas Island or whoever it was. Its like Victoria Police planning a social function on New Year’s Eve. No-one’s going to be able to make it you morons.

15.   And you open up with the Melbourne Derby. Lucky Victory is a terrifically run club with a strong, loyal fanbase. But only 33,000, with zero promotion? These should be nudging 50,000.

16.   Lastly, you know they’re going really well when the free-to-air partner this season is the ABC. Even the VFL got a commercial broadcaster, yet the country’s premier round ball competition shares a channel with Gardening Australia and Four Corners. And the cherry on the top is when it comes to finals, and I’ll quote the ABC press release on this one, where “one A-League match per round broadcast live on ABC TV and iView around the country… and a selection of A-League finals on delay, including the grand final.” Delay?! Remember those days? You can’t make this stuff up.

17.   Darren Weir got done for using jiggers. Rest of racing stays dead quiet. Right. Now is that because Darren is their mate and despite the heinous crimes blood is thicker than water in the industry and they have some empathy for him? Or is it a case of if he can get caught, then maybe some of the others equally as guilty could so easily as well, and staying mum is step one of avoiding such scrutiny? I wonder.

18.   So, Kenyan Eliud Kipchoge broke the two-hour barrier for running a marathon. Phenomenal achievement, just ridiculous to even comprehend the feat. Amazing. But it won’t count as a world record. Why? Well it wasn’t a race. Old mate contrived the event with a couple dozen pacers to help him do it and that’s it. It’s like if me and some mates hire lane eight down Altona Pool Thursday morning, and fresh off a high-protein breakfast and a quick hit of flakka happen to break 20 seconds for one-lap of freestyle – you think FINA will recognise it? You think Kieran Perkins will shout me free Light Start for life off the back of it? As a milk crusader I could only dream of such a reward but yeah nah. Nice stunt Eliud, you’re a freak of a human. But we’re in the same boat brother.

19.   Tough one, not just for boxing because its bigger than that, but Patrick Day is in real bother and sincere optimism about his recovery to one side, so is his sport. Day was knocked out in the tenth round in a bout with Charles Conwell in Chicago in the weekend, which in itself is not unusual. But the consequences of the blow are such that Day is in a coma and in an “extremely critical condition”. Again, nothing but positive wishes about his eventual recovery first and foremost, but in an era where concussion in the football codes is as alarming as ever, combat spots’ existence, like boxing, could/would/should be on borrowed time with cases like this.

20.   TV ratings worry the pants off me. By far the most important and major revenue source for all the sport we love to watch, it helps grow the professionalism and the standards, and the access really. But as TV viewership declines, so does the viewership with live sport. And we all waited with bated breath for the NRL Grand Final numbers in the hope maybe they would be good, and it wasn’t just sport in general in trouble, that maybe rugby league was still on an upward trajectory and its just everyone else.

Nope, it was down too. Usually something that rates at times near 3m nationally, it was around 1.8m. The AFL Grand Final, with an engaged Sydney audience, has been on a trajectory over 3.5m, topping 4m occasionally, it was under 3m for the first time in years. Australia Open primetime slots were down, cricket was good but still down, be it the summer on Seven or The Ashes mid-year on Nine.

What does this mean? It means less people are watching live sport. And when advertisers hear that, they’ll be paying less to the networks for the privilege of putting 30 seconds of their product in front of the eyeballs of footy fans. And that then means TV networks will hand over less cash, subsequently, to the sporting bodies for the rights to broadcast their fixtures.

It doesn’t mean that we’re all destined to see the days of the 1980s return where players need a job outside of footy and only one game is broadcast a week and all that nostalgia. But the idea that salaries will keep going up and up is gone, the idea the game can grow at the same rate looks doomed. So unless someone makes Foxtel honest (nudge nudge Amazon Prime) or this is only a lull, and once we get over Fortnite and Korean boy-bands we will all fall back in love with Friday night in front of the telly watching footy, it’s a big, big concern.