#//don't mind me I've just been thinking a lot about how the concept of overpowered muses relates to KlK's batshit plot

[vagabondfromkanto]

//I've noticed that most people have a rule about godmodding and/or powermodding in their rules. Decided I also need one, with a twist.

The twist being "My muse's canon main superpower as per the finale is the power of endless 'NO U' and I will not hesitate to use it if you start bullshitting" ✨

[saintsenara]

For the tag game can you tell us more about First Do No Harm :)

thank you very much, anon! first do no harm is an excellent choice from the work in progress tag game list.

provided you don't mind a bit of harrymort, with a snake-faced voldemort, rather than a hot one, that is.

[although - just as a pre-warning - i don't advise reading any further if you have health anxiety...]

i spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the worldbuilding around wizarding medicine - and, in particular, how societal attitudes to illness and disability are changed by the fact that, canonically, magic can treat, cure, or render meaningless things which would, in our world, be considered permanent, chronic, life-limiting, or fatal.

[spoiler alert: i hate the fact that the series thinks this, since it pretty much justifies the blood-supremacist position that wizards and muggles are essentially different species... but that's a conversation for another day...]

the exception to the series' rule that wizards are more durable than muggles is its attitude towards brain injury and cognitive disability. the loss of cognitive function - which is implied to have a debilitating, irreversible impact on magical ability - is something the series finds uniquely horrifying. think of the brutal torture of frank and alice longbottom, the mind-altering power of the dementors, the fear of being placed under the imperius curse, and so on.

and i've been playing around a lot recently with how these thoughts could be used in fic - and, especially, how they could be used in a way which wasn't just me reeling off my notes from uni. not least because i don't know where those are.

and, obviously, how they could be tied into my actual favourite thing to write about...

harry potter and lord voldemort being forced to engage with the concept of love.

there is - of course - a very famous trope which medicalises love: hanahaki disease. and my original idea for first do no harm was to write something using this.

of real world diseases, hanahaki most closely resembles tuberculosis [a comparison which has been made in numerous fics, including a lovely bit of tomarry - consumption by @laeveteinn]. and i can understand why something tuberculosis-like grabs fic writers' imagination... after all, tb was considered incredibly glamorous in the victorian era - it makes you fashionably pale! it gives you big shiny eyes! it makes you look fragile and feminine and delicate! it makes you gives you an attractive flush on the cheekbones! it makes you cough blood delicately into a handkerchief! it consumes you from the inside out!

and it kills you.

[and it's getting harder to treat.]

and, sure, it makes a great metaphor for unrequited love. but for unrequited love which is sad, rather than terrifying and unwanted... and this fic is about love which is terrifying and unwanted.

which is where talking about the brain comes in...

when asked to name diseases which frighten them, most people would - and, indeed, should! - say rabies. and i do think there's something to be said for this humble virus - which can be transmitted by a tiny, unnoticeable bite from something as small as a bat; which has guaranteed its target is going to die in horrendous circumstances by the time they've even started to suspect that something's wrong - as a metaphor for love taking root without its host realising, and for how disorienting and overpowering love can be when it gets going.

rabies kills a bit too quickly for my purposes though...

lucky there's something just as horrifying lurking out there. a subset of neurodegenerative diseases known as transmissible spongiform encephalopathies. or prion diseases.

most people have very probably heard of at least one prion disease: bovine spongiform encephalopathy [mad cow disease - i.e. reveal you're a european millennial without saying you're a european millenial]; creutzfeld-jacob disease; kuru [famously transmitted via cannibalism]; and the one which has made me feel vaguely terrified since i first discovered it existed...

fatal familial insomnia. in which the prion-induced degeneration of the brain causes holes to appear in the thalamus - the area of the brain which regulates sleep - until it resembles a sponge.

and the patient can literally never sleep again.

for the rest of their life - usually within eighteen months of the disease's onset - they are held in hypnagogia [pre-sleep limbo, the state between wakefulness and sleeping]. they are disoriented, panicking, hallucinating, forgetful, losing control over their body, losing control over their entire sense of self...

[the face of prion diseases is the astonishing scientist sonia vallabh, who is trying to make as much progress towards a cure for fatal insomnia as she can before it kills her.]

you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.

well, maybe you would. if you didn't know that a bit of your worst enemy's soul lived inside your greatest weapon, or that your greatest weapon's blood kept your worst enemy's heart beating, or that they are most vulnerable to each other as their connected minds linger on the threshold of dreaming and waking...

how lucky that - unlike muggles, who just have to die from neurodegenerative diseases - this curse could be lifted from dear old harry and poor old snake-face voldemort if they put in a bit of effort and fall in love with each other...

ah.

shit.

[the title - first do no harm - is a bioethical phrase which is often misattributed as being part of the hippocratic oath. it is also just a generally sound philosophy to have in life. eh, albus?]

[mud-castle]

sfowefnjfwkn;l I'm trying to figure out the biology of the pantalian(?) dragons and it is just. so confusing.

For example, do rainwings secrete poison, acid, or anything else? Some poisons can burn/damage skin, but not to Queen Scarlet level, and that's not even talking about how it would have to pass through SCALES, not skin! AND HOW DO THEIR FANGS WORK. ARE THEY FELXIBLE. DO THEY HAVE TO AWKWARDLY MOVE THEIR HEAD TO AIM. WHAT IS GOING ON.

How do Sandwings survive? They don't have an easy way to get rid of heat(Ex: Big ears) aside from their 'sails' and even then that's IFFY cause I don't know if blood runs through it or not. Realistically, they should be awake during evening/dawn, or night(Based on whether the dunes get cold at night) but they seem to be active during the day?? but they can still get heatstroke??? tf is going ON with these guys.

Mudwings are fine, ig. nothing really special. Trying to make em more like crocodiles.

Nightwings are also fine- making them more like fluffy bats. Volcano idea might get scrapped/reworked, so there's that. Still gotta massively nerf Mindreading/FutureSight.

Why are Seawings so small? Do their ears fold underwater- wait, why do they go above land? They can live underwater without ever going up, and with the war and all, it would make sense if they never left. Maybe they still need to get air, but they live in coastal areas/islands and have the 'mudwings can hold their breath for an hour thing'? Would give them some actual stakes.

Skywings should have feathers/beaks. They would get cold in high altitudes, and they should just have feathers cause they have nothing else going on with them.

I am not touching Icewings with a ten foot pole. They do not radiate cold. They have fur. They live in the Taiga. I will die on this hill.

aeejcnjkdnddjikssk this dragon series has me by a chokehold.

*Pyhrrian* and Welll

Poison and acid are not mutually exclusive, could be both and scales can be very tough but they will be affected regardless, and there are 100% acids strong enough to do that to Queen Scarlet. Idk man, they open their mouths and black acid comes out, that's about as far as the books describe. Where did it come from? Are their teeth stronger and hollow? Does it come from behind their teeth? Back of the throat? Are their mouths made of tougher stuff so the inside doesn't melt or does the acid never touch the inside of their mouths? Idk.

Idk man they just be doin it. Mind you, it's canon that Sandwings can get heatstroke so idk what they're doing always running around in the middle of the day.

I think the fact that Mudwings are fine shows how neglected they are as tribe. Which is sad..

I am unfortunately not on the dragons with fur train when it comes to WoF, you do you though. Also 100% more batlike Nightwings. I think there's a lot of ways to go about Mindreading without nerfing it. For example I found out that apparently some people narrate their lives internally while others have more concepts they hold unless they're thinking of something specific. There's a lot to do with just that. Future sight is honestly not overpowered. The average future-sighted Nightwing has 1 unclear vision a week, Clearsight and Darkstalker had 10,000 clear visions a day and are outliers who should never have been counted.

Seawings being aquatic is exactly why I've been questioning why they ever joined the war to begin with. Trade is basically nonexistant, they have no settlements on land, why bother with the war at all?? There could be Seawings who don't know how to verbally speak because there's got to be seawings who've never had much of a need to go above water.

As with fur, I've never personally been a fan of feathers on the dragons. I do like to think that Skywing fire burns the hottest (rather than Sandwings) and that's why they don't get cold up there. They're living furnaces, which would also explain why firescales are specific to them.

Icewings are weird.

I explain away some of the weirdness I want to keep in my rewrite as an effect of magic during the evolution of the dragons, and other stuff is just kept because Rule of Cool or suspension of disbelief.

[bonesandthebees]

Since Stars is being updated tomorrow I really gotta do the final part of my analysis (been putting it off because I'm anxious in a good way about that cliffhanger)

Phil's pride in that final scene captivates me, just thinking about it. It takes on a double meaning once the boys get up in the air, surrounded by enemy ships that Phil knew were there.

The first meaning, the surface level meaning, is the one that Wilbur gleans immediately. Phil is proud that Wilbur has finally outplayed him. Wilbur has been lying and tricking him since he arrived, and Phil sees that as a trait to be admired. This, already, is chilling enough. This is my favorite aspect of their dynamic. You've said before that neither of them are good people, and in the past, I've taken that at face value. Yeah, of course they're not good people, they're entitled royals. Phil is the leader of a galactic superpower and Wilbur's a jerk to everybody around him. Yet we love them anyway.

Now I understand. The moral complexity runs deep into the very core of Phil's belief system. Phil actively believes that deception, trickery, and manipulation are values that a successful leader needs to cultivate.

That's the first meaning, and I still think that it is true. I think that Phil was proud for a lot of fucked up reasons. The double meaning comes around when we realize that Phil knew the boys were going out into danger and he has no ability to stop them. Phil knew this, yet he was still proud of Wilbur. The question is, why? He was certainly feeling a great deal of distress and fear. Why did the pride overpower Phil's fear for Wilbur?

I'm going to be keeping that question in mind as I read from now on. I think I have a pretty good idea of what's going on with Phil, but I want to wait and see.

-🔥

yup, when I say that they're not good people, I don't just mean it surface level. this is a complicated world with complicated people, and the ideas of what's good versus bad really don't apply here.

also, I want to say that the idea that deception, trickery, and manipulation are inherently 'bad' traits for a person to have is a modern concept (probably rooted in christian morality because most of the modern western worlds morality is contingent on that). as a bit of a tangent, the first chapter of the stars and their children is titled, 'sing to me muse of a boy of many turns'. this is based off the first line of The Odyssey, which is usually translated to 'sing to me muse, of a man of many turns' or something similar. the phrase 'many turns' is meant to signify that the protagonist of the Odyssey, Odysseus, is a man of cunning and trickery. I took some classes in uni on the classics, and during one of them my professor explained that traits like deception, cunning, and trickery were considered very admirable and valuable traits in Ancient Greece. Odysseus is an admirable hero because of how cunning he is.

I didn't title the first chapter what I did just as an easter egg reference to the Odyssey. this is a story about complicated people and situations, where cunning and deception are valuable traits to have. phil and wilbur are both like this, and that's not a bad thing. it's the kind of world they live in.

now as for why phil's pride overrode the fact that the boys were flying into certain doom, it was mostly just that phil was so focused on the Voice reveal that he was temporarily distracted from what they were about to do. he wasn't happy that they were flying into a really bad situation. he was just focused on the pride he feels for wilbur with the Voice reveal.

[misskittysmagicportal]

Cry Little Sister

(A Jack x Rin Drabble)

Word Count: 1618

Warnings: implied fem recv oral, mention of sexual abuse, abortion, angst

A/N: Even after some time with Jack, Rin Davies still has her secrets.

Rin rolled on her side and gingerly stepped on to the wooden floor. She was nude, but risked freezing to death in the stark cold of her bedroom to sneak to the shower. Her body ventured only a few centimeters before a strong forearm caught her around the waist. She could only squeal.

Rin was yanked back on to the bed where she feigned fighting against what pinned her down. She twisted and giggled, but they overpowered her. He was, despite how he seemed, incredibly strong.

“JACK!!” Rin half-whinged, but only half. The other half desperately tried to hide how bothered she was. The electricity that spread in her veins and arteries and nerves and traveled out to her fingers and toes and between her legs.

“RIN!” Jack mocked her. He bent to place a gentle kiss on her neck. Then her chin. He took his time and pecked and planted his lips all over face, forehead and ears.

“I have a shift in an hour! I need to shower and get my uniform out of the wash.” Each one of her words was punctuated by his kisses. Only a few she reciprocated.

“I keep telling you to quit your job and work with me.”

“You don't shit where you eat, Jack.”

“You keep telling me that. We wouldn't have to work at the same time. I trust you to run the shop alone.” He trailed down between Rin’s breasts and over her stomach. He lifted her back into an arch towards his mouth.

“Jack,” Rin found herself breathless.

There was no longer even water to float on let alone drown in when their bodies touched. It was a warm beach with soft sand like the one she visited with her brother Finch after university. Their only vacation.

Now Jack was like a vacation with an occasional cloud that passed through. And that was it, they only passed through. No bothering. No messages. Just passive specters who gave up eventually for another medium. Rin could sense them too like goose pimples up her spine. She was too worried about breaking Jack to ask if maybe together they could corporealize a ghost.

At this moment, Rin was unshielded. She unwittingly opens herself up like she did her legs as Jack’s tongue found its destination. He teased the outside of her sex with it; his hands held her defiant hips still. Then a memory passed to Jack as his mouth closed on her clit like a jolt.

Just a flash of a dingy waiting room, the smell of cleaning products and antiseptic hung in the air. Rin bolted upright, both from Jack's tongue inside and of the memory. That smell churned her stomach. The sheets gave way to the crinkle of paper and the delayed puff of cushioning on an exam table was the bed. Finch’s large hand clammy in her own as his impossibly blue eyes held her gaze. She was back but couldn't be.

Jack had rolled to lay face up. He held his head in his hands like Rin saw him do when they were sectioned. He started to knock softly at his temples, eyes shut tight. She had triggered him.

“No. No. Why’s it smell like hospital? Why did you do that?!” his voice at a near-bellow. “I don't want to go back. Not to that place when I was a kid. Don't make me go back!”

“Jack. Jack, it's ok! Jack!” Rin shouted over his outburst. She clutched his wrists to pull his fists away, but he resisted.

He was the immovable object to her unstoppable force, but Rin’s bare hands on his skin made Jack recoil from her for the first time. “Stop! Why do you have that in your head?!” His long body curled away from his girlfriend.

“Jack,” Rin spoke softly now. “That's not your memory. That's mine.” She tread with care and kissed his shoulder. Her hands refrained from touching him directly. “I was just so unguarded, that a door opened. I think I've been struggling to have this conversation with you so much, it came out of my subconscious.”

Jack reached behind himself and pulled Rin towards his back. He draped her arm over his body and began to trace the faint scars along the back of her hand. Instinct made Rin bury her face between his shoulder blades where her forehead came to rest. Jack sighed before he turned her hand over and traced the lines on her palm.

“Jack, I can't have kids.”

He was silent. Rin could feel him thinking, processing how to respond. He was so new to everything still, even after two years. Stability. Safety. Sex. Jack learned as he went. He faltered a lot, especially with the concept of Rin being tangible. He couldn't just take a drug or get drunk to make her disappear. Not that they did it much, but when they had a row, it was interesting to say the least.

“Does that upset you?” He kissed her knuckles.

“I think it used to, but I spent so much time with awful men or lost OR sectioned that I accepted maybe I did myself a favor? Not that I think you want them, but it's the first I've thought of it in years.”

“You don't want kids with me, love. Emma’s good, but she still got stuck with one like me.”

“Wouldn't want anymore of those kind, smart men in the world would we?”

“I'm not always kind.” It was matter of fact.

“To yourself.” Rin could sense him roll his eyes now. “I just didn't think someone would actually love me, so I put it off.”

“Rin what do you mean, did it yourself?”

“Do you want me to tell you?” She kissed the back of Jack's neck. “Or show you?”

“I guess it's only fair,” Jack sounded apprehensive.

But Rin didn't respond. She took her hands and placed them on Jack's face like she was covering his eyes with her palms. She relaxed her mind, unlocked it and melted into Jack with her memories.

The two of them sat side by side in a waiting room. The old plastic chairs in gold and rust and red with peeled paint on the walls felt more broken-down Fawlty Towers than a clinic of some kind. Jack's feet stuck to the linoleum floor and he rubbed his sweaty palms on his knees. He knew no one could see him, but wished he was in more than boxers.

Rin was young, younger than Jack had ever seen her. He never knew how dark and long her hair was as it hid her face. There was a bruise on her cheek. She cradled her stomach with one hand. The other held tight to a young man not much older. That had to be Finch.

They looked alike, except his eyes were unfathomably blue. Finch, Fin, had dark, straight hair that was a mess. He had his arm around her shoulder and was kissing her head and murmured something. Rin nodded and stared up at him with complete admiration. Then she spoke in Welsh. Welsh? How did Jack not know.

“Are you sure it'll be ok? They can't know Finch. He can't know. He wants Mama and Papa to sell me to him.”

“Like fuck,” Jack yelled. “Christ I thought my mum was bad. Never would've sold me to a paedo.”

“He can't buy you, Wren. You're sixteen. It's legal. I’ll fucking kill them first.”

“Too right you will!” Jack almost cheered.

He couldn't wrap his head around just knowing it was a friend. A family friend who knocked her up. Raped her, Jack was sure, and got her this way. Then it was all flashes. An exam table with stirrups and a nurse with nice eyes but witchy hands. A doctor who was smoking and tried his best. Rin cried and Fin’s lip bled from biting it. Jack looked away. Whoever said women were the fairer sex was a cunt.

“It went wrong after that,” Rin’s voice broke through the memory. “I got an infection in my uterus. They had to remove half of it, but my parents refused more. Punishment for my abortion. So I rebelled. Brilliantly until they fried my hands. I got labeled a nutter pretty quick, and they never spoke to me again. Finch did. He talked me into music and school and it went from there. In and out of psych in spite of it all. I lost Fin, found Roland then he left too. Then I found you, and YOU got lost.”

“Well I'm not lost anymore am I, duck?” Jack's term of affection for her. “I don't care about the baby part. I mean I do if YOU do. I'm just learning how to be human myself, so I'm not too keen on bringing smaller ones into the world right now.”

Jack turned over in Rin’s arms and nudged his nose along hers and face. “I love ya, though. Whatever you want, Aderyn.” He heard the way her brother called her in their native tongue. “But you haven't lost Finch either.”

Rin let her forehead rest on Jack's. “He died years ago.”

Jack rolled his eyes and waved his arm frantically around the room. “Hello! Remember what I'm good at?!”

“Wait, you can see Finch?” Tears spilled uncontrolled down her cheeks. She stuffed her knuckles in her eyes to prevent it.

“Yeah. Creepy looking right? Intense blue eyes, chiseled jaw, kinda wild black hair? Kinda short for a guy? Handsome, just weird.” Jack struggled to describe him accurately. “Why not give me your hands, and see what we can do together.”

So she did.

Tag list: @magic-multicolored-miracle @robertsheehanownsmyass @super-unpredictable98 @nightmonsters @forenschik @sean-falco @elliethesuperfruitlover @frogs--are--bitches @slutforrobbiebro @bisexualnathanyoung @rob-private

[muffinrecord]

I keep wondering what it would be like if we could have a Magia Record but with fandom-created magical girls. So, for example, you'd send in your magical girl and her artwork/rarity/attribute/backstory/etc. to be evaluated and, as long as it doesn't break any rules, she'd be added, or fans would vote to make sure only the best get added (but still a lot). Sorta NeonMob style.

I don't know if this is feasible at all, but considering I've seen people starting to set up private servers for it, maybe it is? I dunno, I just think it would be cool.

Your thoughts?

This is actually something I’ve been thinking about and have brought up in the tumblr discord! ...Are you in that discord and trying to get me started on it, haha.

But no, in all seriousness, this is a project I’d like to work on in the future-ish? The rules would be very loose so that folks can just be creative and have fun. There might be a P3-13 rating or so, but there wouldn’t be a ban on certain characters (you could make your fanOC as overpowered or underpowered as you want). You could have male or nonbinary characters too if you want, ect.

The only rule I’d have set in stone atm is keeping a limit of one meguca per month per person, so that the folks would be submitting their best works. There might also be a varying written degrees of what a character could be used for. 

For example, at one extreme end, let’s say I make a character, give her a list of personality traits, then let go of her. You don’t need my permission to use her in an event story or as a villain or whatever; as soon as she’s submitted, she’s no longer my creation. People could do whatever they want with her. Maybe you have a very different interpretation of what her personality might be, or maybe you need a generic villain for the background of your own OC. Basically, she belongs to the group and not myself.

Or, someone else might make a character but say “this character has these very defined personality traits and roles. You can use them for anything, but don’t do X, Y, and Z.” You can use the character, but there are rules for using them that the author would prefer you to abide by (for example, maybe this character is in love with their best friend and you don’t want that to be changed).

Or, someone might make a character and say “please check with me/ask before using this character for something.” The creator has plans for this character and doesn’t mind someone using them, as long as it doesn’t interfere with their own plans. If you’re writing an event, maybe the creator wants a look over to make sure their character is represented well. Something like that.

I think though that submitting the character to the group would mean you have to be okay with the concept of the character being used at some point? I dunno. 

But it might be fun to make doppels, memoria cards, card art, event stories, MSS stories, ect for your character. It’d be fun!

I didn’t know folks were setting up private servers for it-- how cool is that? It might be easier to see what those are up to than making a fresh project on our own, ha ha.

But yeah, this is something I’ve been thinking of but not really prioritizing. If someone else sees this and thinks, “dude this is rad I want to start this up,” feel free to as well. 

Edit: Oh, but also, I don’t feel comfortable taking on this project right now because I still have work left to do with the MagiReco Archive stuff. I’m also kind of considering working on my dream webcomic again, so... this isn’t a priority atm. But if like I said in the paragraph above, if someone else wants to get this started then feel free! I can help signal boost and would like to participate. 

[starship-imzadi]

S5 E12 Violations

This opening immediately brings to mind the "repressed memories" craze in psychology in the 1980's and 1990's. The "fad" has since become regarded as incredibly harmful and dangerous as human memory can be quite malleable and undependable. A lot of people were treated to believe they had repressed memories of horrible abuse and sexual trauma in their childhoods, made horrible accusations, for events that never actually happened. Not only do these fabrication create real trauma and ruin relationships, they also delegitimize the actual trauma and abuse others have suffered and very much remembered from their childhoods.

Now, that isn't quite applicable to this episode, but this episode has some heavy moments and perhaps the worst abuse, out of all the abuse, Troi suffers through the series, and I want to address it the best I can.

"father, you know you're not supposed to probe someone's memory unless they've given you permission."

A.k.a. you have to get consent

"you are right, but sometimes with a beautiful woman I cannot help myself."

Red flag?! But not the red flag we're looking for. (Still: not appropriate) Beverly's laugh doesn't seem like acceptance to me, rather it's the socially acceptable way for women to cope with remarks that certain men think are flattering but are actually creepy. In a post #metoo world my hope is that as a society this is understood better than when this episode aired. I'm sure for many women it's just as evident as it ever was.

To be clear, this memory reading isn't sexual. What it is, is intimate. For whatever reason no other type of telepathy in Star Trek is depicted as a high form of intimacy, except for the now forgotten telepathic link that Troi and Riker have (which was formed because of the closeness of their relationship). But, to have access to someone's mind would be an incredible vulnerability, the sharing of one's mind a great intimacy, and the invasion of one's mind a great violation. A strong analogy for these is sexuality.

I want to make this distinction because there are violations and intimacies that are not sexual, and I think allowing for a broader analogy makes this a stronger story.

This conversation between Geordi and Data about memory feels like exposition to explain the concept to the audience. But, it seems to misrepresent some of the finer points, like how human recall and triggering recall actually works, how neurological structure and age factors in, how trauma effects memory, or in fact how humans encode specific memory or general concepts (like remembering the layout of your childhood home.)

"perhaps you would like to resurrect solve memories"

Is Beverly flirting with Picard? Or just teasing him

This scene with Troi brushing her hair and drinking hot chocolate is.... incredibly frustrating. Because of the "on again off again" or complete neglect of the story between Troi and Riker's relationship. Why have we never seen this part of their relationship before? Where does it fit it? I've seen people question at which point the memory becomes manipulated, wondering if Riker would ever force himself on Troi...which I would categorically say: no he would not.

"imzadi we can't, not when we're serving on the same ship"

"have you stopped thinking about us, just answer that" "I can't stop thinking about you"

They're clearly on the Enterprise, and Riker has a beard, and it could feasibly be somewhere in the past three and a half seasons. As the audience we are not privy to the original memory free of Jev's manipulations.

"Do you know what she was doing when this happened?" Riker's voice is so gentle.

Beverly's little smile as she walks in and sees Riker talking to Troi is exactly how I feel. "I miss you. Please don't stay away too long." Is so sweet and a bit heartbreaking.

Now, we see an apparent memory of Riker's. Troi's memory seemed to be hazy and pink like an old romance filter might be in black and white, but Riker's memory is distorted and stretched, and both have distorted and slowed audio. By contrast, Keiko's memory had no visual or audio distortion at all. Riker's apparent memory is feasible like Troi's.

Troi's assault is what almost everyone focuses on, because the "violation" of the episode is seen as an analogy to rape and because this element is inexplicably used again in the film Nemesis. However, I would like to point out that the two memories shown up until this point are both memories of vulnerability. The memory with Troi isn't just about sex, it's about the intimacy she has with Riker, a relationship they both want but don't feel like they're allowed to have. Riker's memory is of vulnerability of those under his command, as he has to actively make a choice that will kill a crew member to save the rest of the ship. His crew is ultimately his responsibility, their lives are in his hands, and he has to carry the responsibility of their deaths under his command.

Now we see Beverly's apparent memory. Her's is also a clear instance of vulnerability: seeing her dead husband's body. This memory is most likely of the three we see to have some reality to it. We do know that her husband died and Picard was the one to tell her and Wesley of his death. (It's mentioned in the pilot episode and in "The Bonding")

Rethinking the search parameters is incredibly clever on Geordi's part and he deserves more credit for it. It's almost... intellectually refreshing to see rather than a simple solution, and I applaud the writer who wrote this bit.

If Riker wasn't still in a coma he would be right by Troi's side.

"I'm remembering something from a few years ago" so, it is a memory, they're all actual memories, up until a point. "It's not Will, sombody's taken his place." when the person in her memory is hurting her the face isn't initially shown, we can't see who it is. But, before when the memory was safe and positive, we could see Will's face.

(the background soundtrack is a little too much and the whole sequence of Troi in pain makes me really uncomfortable.) And Worf and Picard.... don't react except Picard, very conservatively, places a comforting hand on her shoulder. Which fits with his decorum and all things considered is really, really sweet.

"A perverse source of pleasure perhaps. A need to exercise control over another." Even though Troi's memory was romantic or sexual in nature and through Jev's manipulation has the strongest direct parallel to literal sexual assault, rape is ultimately about power, the assertion of power, domination without consent. It is in direct opposition to intimacy, sexual or non sexual. intimacy is vulnerability plus trust and safety, regardless of what that vulnerability is.

I just realized the Ullian coats remind me of paper snow flakes.

I've seen some people confused that after everything that has happened why Jev would jeopardize himself by going to Troi. He seems to honestly like Troi, in whatever way he can, but at the same time is not in control of his impulses and desires, and whatever he likes about her is warped into his sick desire to overpower her. It's fantastic to see Troi fight back; Jev talks about how fragile she is, and it's important that we see that she is in fact NOT how he sees her.

"this form of rape" here is the first time the word is specifically used BUT I want to reiterate that Troi, Riker, and Beverly have all been subjected to this trauma.

It's good, and nice to know, that they will be getting counseling and help to process through what has happened. It's not always but on occasion TNG acknowledges that its characters have suffered with potential long term ramifications.

[queenmylovely]

congratulations on 800 love!! idk if you write for lucy (if you don't you can just write for rog or ben instead, whatever you prefer) but i've had this idea in my mind for weeks now about going on a date with lucy for the first time (i'm thinking dinner? even though it's super cliche lmao) and it's like super romantic and intimate 🥺 maybe you could make this a blurb or hc? 🤭

Oh my gosh, yes I write for Lucy! At least, I do now as this is the first thing I’ve written for her. The concept is not cliche, it’s perfect and this made me so soft, thanks for sending it in 💖 (under the cut cause it’s 1.5k, just fluff)

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Getting out of your uber, you smoothed down your dress and exhaled slowly to calm the nerves you were feeling. The nerves were due to the fact that you were going on your first date with a friend of a friend, Lucy. But the excitement you felt overpowered the nerves. You had already met her once before, at a dinner party at your mutual friend, Gwil’s place. The two of you had instantly caught each other’s eye and made flirty eye contact from either end of the table all night. By the time everyone was leaving, you had worked up the courage to ask for her number and had made plans for the next weekend.

You were walking to the doors of the restaurant, wondering whether Lucy was already inside or if she was still on her way. The latter seemed to be true when you looked around the waiting area and didn’t see her. There was a short line leading to the host station so you went to the end and stood there, glancing at your watch to see that you were exactly two minutes early.

Standing there, you looked around the restaurant and were pleased that you had told Lucy to choose where you went since it looked very nice; the perfect ambience and atmosphere. You were only there for about a minute when you heard your name.

Turning, you saw Lucy walking over to you and smiled brightly to match hers. She came up next to you, scooting past the person in line behind you and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Have you been waiting long?” she asked, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. Then she looked at you expectantly.

You realized you had just been staring at her, admiring the way her hair framed her face perfectly, the flattering cut of her dress and how she was just a tad taller than you in her heels. Smiling sheepishly you told her, “No, just a minute. You look beautiful by the way.”

Lucy smiled, looking at you happily as her cheeks became a very cute shade of pink, “Thank you, so do you.”

By then, you were at the front of the line and Lucy relayed the reservation information, then the host took you to your table. You sat down across from each other and then started to look at the menu.

“I know we literally just started looking, but do you have an idea of what you want? They have a great red or white if you want to pair it with your meal,” Lucy offered and you grimaced a little. Lucy joked, “What, am I being too controlling?”

“No, not at all. I just don’t like wine,” you said with a laugh.

“Oh, thinking back I do remember you having a G&T instead of Gwil’s rosé,” Lucy replied with a knowing look. “Is that your go-to?”

“Well it’s what most people have stuff for,” you answered. “But I’ll go for a mojito if I can. Like I think I’m gonna go with this peach one.”

“Ooo that looks good,” Lucy said, looking on her menu where you were pointing. “I think I’ll join you.”

A few minutes later, you had your drinks and had ordered your food. The two of you were chatting about work and upcoming projects. Lucy was happy to answer your questions about the films and shows she was working on, but was happier hearing about your job.

“Wow, as someone who’s always just working with someone else’s ideas, it’s wild to me that you actually create everything you do,” she said, her eyes wide.

“Well, we have a group that works on every project, but yeah, a lot of what I do is on my own,” you amended, feeling a rush of pride for what you did based on Lucy’s interest. “But acting definitely takes a bit of creativity, right? Like you have to decide how you’re going to do things.”

“That’s true,” Lucy said with a nod, “You seem to understand a lot of it for someone who said she didn’t ever do any acting.”

“I may have never done any formal acting, nor do I want to,” you shook your head, “However, I’ve been running lines with Gwil since the first year of uni.”

Lucy burst into laughter and you laughed with her but found yourself feeling an inexplicable amount of adoration for her as you did.

“Tell me,” she said with a conspiratorial look and through a few giggles. She leaned closer, her voice getting softer and the scent of her perfume growing stronger, “Has he always been this… pretentious?”

You looked at her in excited shock, reaching over and touching her arm, “Oh my gosh, you think so too?”

She let out a relieved laugh, quickly looking down at your hand, “Yes, but I swear no one else sees it!”

“It’s his ability to charm the shit out of everybody he meets. Never really worked on me though, as much as I love him,” you admitted, lifting your hand to gesture to yourself.

“No, me neither,” Lucy agreed, looking at you so intently that your heartbeat sped up.

“Let’s just say that his 20 minute spiel about the rosé was a repeat performance from one in uni, only then the bottle was worth $8 instead of $35,” you said with a smirk.

Lucy’s face broke into a smile as she laughed, her eyes sparkling. She hit your shoulder lightly, “You’re so bad!” but the look on her face told you she thought anything but.

Half an hour later, the food was eaten and you were looking at the dessert menu together.

“Okay, but the real question is do you like lemons? Because they have an amazing lemon soufflé with a raspberry sauce that is to die for,” Lucy suggested hopefully.

“Sounds perfect,” you told her with a smile.

When the dessert came, you dug into it together, and Lucy tried to ignore the bolt of heat that went through her when you moaned at the taste.

“This is so fucking good,” you said through a half-full mouth and Lucy chuckled. You swallowed your bite and continued, “You know, you have incredible taste. This restaurant, your outfit, this dessert!”

“You,” she added and you felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment, shoving another bite of raspberry covered lemony dessert into your mouth to keep you from saying something dumb.

The two of you continued eating and chatting, playfully using your spoons to fight for the best bites. As she smiled and laughed yet again you felt yourself stumble further down the path of falling in love with her already.

When the check came, you told her that since you were the one that had asked her out you were going to pay and if she wanted to pay then she’d just have to ask you out another time. She looked determined when she said she would.

Since neither of you had driven, you decided to share a car. It allowed for you to sit closer together than any other point in the evening, with your hands resting next to each other’s on the seat and your pinkies brushing together.

You took turns pointing out different things like good restaurants, a hidden shop full of local artist’s work, and eventually just random places you had been as an excuse to lean closer to the other.

The car arrived at your place first since it was closer to the restaurant and Lucy offered to walk you to your door. As you climbed out and fished for your keys, she leaned in the window and told the driver to wait.

She went with you to the entrance of the building and the two of you stood a little to the side to be out of the way.

“I had a really good time tonight,” you said with a soft smile.

“Me too,” Lucy told you. “You’re a great first date. And I’m sure you’ll be an even better second one.”  

Your smile grew, already excited for more.

“And you’re so cute,” Lucy added, unable to help herself when you smiled.

You were about to compliment her as well when she leaned forward and kissed you. Her lips were soft and warm and when you didn’t pull away, she brought her right hand to your waist and her left to your cheek to keep you close. Feeling her tongue slide along your lower lip, you opened your mouth for her and brought your left hand to her shoulder and your right one to hold hers in place.

Sighing into the kiss, you enjoyed what you hoped was the first of many, many kisses to come. After a minute, you pulled back and her lips followed yours so you pressed another quick kiss to them.

“The car’s still waiting,” you pointed out.

Lucy blushed, “Oh right, I should--”

“Tell them to leave and then come in with me,” you said, looking at her suggestively.

Lucy was surprised that you were being so forward, but as surprised as she was, she loved it even more and nodded quickly.

“I’ll go do that. Be right back,” she told you, sneaking another little kiss before she turned and rushed down the path back to the car.

You saw the driver shift into gear and start to drive away as Lucy looked back and smiled at you. She was back next to you in a moment, and she grabbed your hand as you unlocked the door with the other.

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