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uno-reverse-fic · 4 years

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Part 2 Chapter 7

Bakugo hadn't expected his morning to go the way it did. It started when he walked outside. It was a nice day, the air was not too hot, but also not too cold. He looked out at the scenery, a light blanket of fog covered the morning air, and the sun streamed through gaps in the clouds. It was a perfect morning. At least until he turned to go back inside. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something lying on the ground by the door, and when he took a closer look, he realized with horror that it was you. And despite your size he could see you violently trembling, at first he thought it was because of him, but when he crouched down he realized you were asleep.

He reached out his hand and slowly extended it towards you, his fingers finally brushed your side and his eyes widened. You were freezing. As carefully as he could, Bakugo scooped you into his hand and slowly activated his quirk, not enough to explode, just so that a faint glow of heat rose from his palms. You immediately leaned into his touch, even in your unconscious state. He nearly gasped at the feeling of your tiny body in his hands, he had almost forgotten how small you really were. He moved his other index finger over to you, lightly pressing it against your chest. Your hands wrapped around his finger and you yawned, stirring from sleep.

"Mrmmmrm," You groaned, before stretching and trying your best to roll onto your side. The added weight of a finger on top of you made the task a bit harder than expected. Once you managed to flip onto your side you buried your face in the finger next to you.

"Mrmm, Kirissshimma. 's dat youu?" You slurred in your tired state,

"Pleasse don leavve me with himm againn." Bakugo was worried and glad at the same time. On one hand at least it wasn't Kirishima who left you outside all night, but on the other hand he was gonna kill the idiot who did.

You continued to stir in your half-consciousness as Bakugo walked back up to his room. You mumbled a bit more, and snuggled further into his hand, presumably for warmth. You still were shaking, but it had calmed down severely. Bakugo pressed the tip of his finger harder against your chest, and you buried your face in it. He nudged you with his finger in an attempt to wake you up. You, however, merely groaned in annoyance before muttering something in your tiredness,

"Kirrri c'mon, I'm tirrred." Bakugo continued trying to nudge you awake,

"Half-pint wake up dammit." He whispered to himself.

You finally stretched and rolled onto your back, pushing yourself up before rubbing your eyes. When you opened them, you saw a black t-shirt, however when you looked up your face immediately fell. A pair of crimson eyes, and a head of ash blonde hair staring directly down at you. You scrambled backwards, only to run into a set of gigantic fingers looming behind you.

"Hey, its ok, I'm not gonna hurt you." He said, sliding his index finger closer to you. You eyed it warily, and shuffled away when it came to near for your liking.

"I know your terrified of me, but until I know for sure who left you outside, I don't think its the best idea to leave you with someone else. Kirishima is still in the infirmary, but he'll probably be in class this morning, I can hand you off to him then, but for now your stuck with me." You stared up at him, eyes unmoving and full of fear. He sighed and raised his hand closer to his face.

"I know you're scared, I hate this just as much as you do, though for different reasons. Just work with me here, you won't have to deal with me for long." You nodded.

He lowered you into a drawer and slid it, most of the way, shut, leaving it open slightly, probably to illuminate the inside for you. You heard some shuffling and assumed he was getting dressed, and thats when you noticed that you were trembling beyond belief. It didn't come as much of a shock to you however, you had been left outside all night and you were utterly terrified of Bakugo, after all. The drawer slid open silently and a hand emerged and engulfed you in its hold. Bakugo's fingers unfurled as he lifted you closer to his face,

"I have one question," he started,

"Who left you outside." he glared at you intently, only adding to your fear, you squeaked out a reply nonetheless,

"K-Kamin-nari." Bakugo lowered you into his pocket before heading off to class.

"Kaminari." Aizawa called.

"Yea sensei?"

"Where's Deru. I need attendance." Your teacher asked. Immediately Kaminari tensed up and started sweating and stuttering incoherent nonsense as he tried to come up with an excuse as to why he didn't have you. Bakugo couldn't help but let a bit of a smirk make its way onto his face. After a few more seconds of Kaminari's nonsense Bakugo finally spoke up,

"She's with me Sensei. Found her outside this morning." Aizawa nodded and glared in Kaminari's direction once more before starting class.

A few hours passed and you were starting to worry that Bakugo wasn't going to give you back to Kirishima. The lunch bell rang soon after the morning classes had finished, everyone started heading towards the cafeteria, but Bakugo had other plans. He made his way towards the Nurses office in search of Kirishima.

"Hey Bakubro! Nice of you to drop by!" You heard the red-head exclaim.

"Oi dumb-hair, found something of yours outside this morning. Next time leave her with someone who doesn't forget that their own head is attached to their body." Bakugo scolded, pulling you out of his pocket and handing you to Kirshima.

"Woa dude, I cant take care of her! I'm not supposed to get out of here until Thursday morning!" Kirishima said, handing you back towards Bakugo,

"How 'bout you take her! It'll be good bonding time for you two, ya know to work out all your problems or whatever." He continued, and Bakugo argued back and forth with him a bit, insisting that you stay with someone else, but Kirishima only persisted harder.

"Fine. Whatever, I'll take her for the next few days." Bakugo said, finally giving in.

"Thanks bro! Your awesome!" Kirishima exclaimed.

"Tch, whatever. Get better quick hair-for-brains." Bakugo replied, before leaving with you in his hand. He raised you towards his face and unfurled his fingers,

"Guess your stuck with me for the next two days." You whimpered in response, both terrified and upset. Bakugo sighed and muttered out a few words, however, you didn't hear what he said, as his hand was already descending back towards his blazer pocket.

The rest of the day went by relatively slow, especially when you were confined to Bakugo's desk the entire time. Occasionally he would reach his hand in to check on you, and you tried your best to avoid it at all costs, but eventually he would end up catching you and gently wrapping his fingers around you. When the bell finally rang you watched in sorrow as his hand once again found its way over to your small, helpless form, picking you up effortlessly and depositing you into his blazer pocket.

A little while later you found yourself once again in his hand, but to your delight he placed you on his desk, and sat down in the chair. You slowly stepped backwards before turning and running to hide behind a bunch of textbooks. Bakugo sighed before reaching towards his backpack for his homework. You curled up in the corner, making sure you were out of view of Bakugo first. A million thoughts rushed through your head, only further worsening the situation. You tried you best to keep quiet as tears flowed down your face, but apparently your light sobbing perked his ears because Bakugo called out to you,

"Half-pint? You ok?" You froze, and immediately grew silent.

"Half-pint?" He asked again. You watched as his hand gripped the edge of the textbooks, sliding them to the side so he could see you. You scurried backwards, but quickly got up and began running as his hand advanced towards you. But apparently you weren't quick enough. You yelped as his fingers curled gently around your body, grabbing you and pulling you back towards him. He turned his hand palm-up placed his other index finger gently over top of you so that you couldn't escape. He saw your face, an expression of horror was strewn across it.

"I know your scared of me, and I'm sorry for everything I did to you. But for now your stuck with me. I'm trying my best here, and all i ask of you is one favor. Please just don't cry. It breaks my heart to hear you in so much pain. Especially if its something I caused." You nodded, hoping he would be done and he could set you back down, but instead he shifted his finger to rest against your side, and continued speaking,

"Your only here for two days, thats all. And afterwards I won't come anywhere near you, if thats what you want." He lifted the cornered his finger to your face and tried his best to wipe your cheek off.

"Heh, I guess your a bit too small for that huh." He said.

"Yea, guess so." You replied, wiping off your other cheek with the back of your hand.

"How bout we go get some dinner? Or you could stay here while I go grab something and bring it back up?" He asked.

"I'd rather stay here." You told him. He nodded and gently put you down on the desk. As he walked out the door he took one final glance back at you before putting on a scowl and trudging downstairs.

Bakugo came back a few minutes later with a plate of fried rice and curry, as well as a smaller dish for you. He handed you your portion of the meal, and some tiny make-shift silverware, before digging in himself. You gladly joined him. While the curry was delicious, you barely ended up making a dent in the bowl he gave you. He grabbed your leftovers and downed them in a few seconds before collecting the dirty dishes to go wash them downstairs. When he came back you were gone, or at least thats what he thought, until he pulled the stack of textbooks away to reveal you curled up asleep on the desk. He carefully replaced the books before digging in to his backpack for the rest of his homework.

By the time the clock struck 8:00 Bakugo had finished his work and changed into a tank-top and shorts.

"Half-pint. C'mon its time for bed." He grumbled, picking you up gently between his fingers. You yawned and stretched in his hand, as he walked over and flopped on the bed. He laid you next to him on the pillow and rested his index finger gently on top of you. He leaned in closer to you, and you could feel his warm breath graze your side as he spoke,

"G'night little one." He said. Your heart leaped into your throat at the new nickname, and your face heated up with embarrassment. Bakugo could barely feel the light pounding of your heart against the tip of his finger, and the corners of his mouth turned up the slightest amount before he drifted off to sleep. You however were no where close to sleep after the debut of that new nickname, about 30 minutes passed before you were finally calm enough to drift off.

You didn't get very far into sleep before you heard a soft, distressed groaning coming from Bakugo. Another nightmare. You pushed yourself out from underneath his finger before contemplating your next move.

"He's terrifying, and I don't wanna go near him, especially after last time. But he's trying his best to better himself at least, and I can't stand seeing him like this. It's just too unnerving. Geez what should I do... What would Ichiyō do..." That last thought sealed the deal. You sighed before reluctantly padding over to Bakugo. You placed your hand on the bridge of his nose, before leaning into it. You gently stroked his face, or what you could reach of it at least.

"Please no. Please I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please. Stay." He repeated his words over and over, becoming more and more desperate, before he took a quick breath in and woke up. He immediately noticed you leaning into him, and he placed his fingertips on your back, pressing you into him.

"Half-pint I'm sorry. Please stay here. I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry." He whispered, his words full of desperation.

"Hey, hey its ok, I'm here I'm not gonna leave. It was just a dream, I'm fine." You told him. You could feel his shaky breathing, and his trembling hands, as he leaned further into your tiny body. You felt something wet on your arm, as you traced the water back to its source with your eyes, you realized he was crying. Only a little bit, but it was there.

"Thanks." He breathed, and before you know it the two of you were falling asleep together, just like that.

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Yea the schedule is nonexistent at this point. I’m so sorry for the 2 month delay, but i just had NO creative flow at all these past few months. But here it is! Finally.

Have a beautiful day you beautiful person.

MASTERLIST

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ladyplantpots · 6 years

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Fresh from discord and edited to read better, an AU where Hizashi runs a hair-styling YouTube account, and Shouta comes across it whilst looking up how to braid his adopted daughter Eri’s hair.

Shouta needs to braid Eri’s hair, because dammit she deserves pretty hair and a competent dad able to provide her with cute styles. He scours the internet for videos to follow along, as he’s a hands-on learner, but finds them all dull and confusing. Then he comes across a video from a man who practically yells a welcoming introduction before passionately explaining exactly how to do a simple braid. The man, who calls himself Hizashi, is upbeat, loud, and easy to follow. The ultimate opposite of Shouta, he thinks, but his instructions to braid hair are just so easy to understand, and Hizashi is so damn HAPPY as he braids his own soft and golden hair for the camera. Shouta soon successfully braids Eri’s hair, and her smile is blinding. And then he sees another one of Hizashi’s videos preparing to load. He should DEFINITELY turn it off now. He ends up watching all his videos. The man, Hizashi, is everything Shouta is not. Bright, funny, likeable, confident, and his long blond hair flows all the way down his back at the start of each video, before he decorates it with flowers, or braids it, or sticks it in buns - he always looks so goddamn flawless. Shouta has never been so damn enamoured, and especially with someone so utterly unobtainable. A month after he first finds the channel, he gets drunk with Kayama. Kayama teases him on his obvious crush, and Shouta is annoyed as hell. He doesn’t get crushes. He has no time for them. And anyway, those videos aren’t even hard. He could do his own hair like any of Hizashi’s styles easily. The night slips away in a blur. What he wakes up to the next day, is a disaster. His hair is a gross mess, he has a killer hangover, and whats that on YouTube? A video of him, filmed by Kayama, drunk, and he’s glaring into the camera and slurring shit like 'stupid hot blonde perfect hair Hizashi, i bet he cant do this with VODKA' as he attempts to knot his own hair into a plait. It’s already went viral as ‘Drunk Guy Destroys Own Hair and Cusses Out Top Beauty Vlogger’ before he can even delete it. Shouta is mortified, and hopes for death. Hizashi has uploaded a new video the very next day. 'I Make Perfect Fishtail Braids Whilst Drunk!' Shouta is mad and definitely not panicking that Hizashi saw his video. Why would he even respond? Was he annoyed? Upset? Did he think Shouta was a total and utter idiot? Hizashi at the end of his video says something along the lines of 'Wow! I guess I CAN do perfect hair with vodka,' and signs off, but not before enthusiastically giving a wink to the camera. Shouta, damn it all, is smitten. Against his better judgement, Shouta uploads another video the next week. He’s gained a mass of followers despite deleting his first and only video, but he refuses to acknowledge them. He doesn’t need this dumb attention. He just needs to prove he ISN’T a drunk moron, and set the record straight. But that new video he uploads, his second ever one, is kind of just.... A rant. And he isn't drunk, but he is extremely, extremely tired after the longest day, and he'd just watched another video of sunshiney Hizashi just being lovely and jolly and perfect. So, Shouta borrows Kayama’s camera, and makes a video. The video shows him surrounded by coffee mugs, and his daughter Eri is in bed so his voice isn't loud, just, annoyed, but, it's all kind of... Hilarious? He has no set plan. He just complains about, 'Stupid sunshine people with stupid hair that isn't THAT pretty dammit and why cant sunshine people be NORMAL and hate life with everyone else?' It lasts 10 minutes, five of which is just Shouta trying not to fall asleep, and some of his hair dips into his coffee when he tries to take a drink just before the video ends. It, again, goes viral, because Shouta is a tired mess and makes zero sense, and the next day Hizashi uploads a new video. 'Doing your hair for non-sunshine folk. A normal boring guide.' In the video, Hizashi greets everyone in a flat, monotone voice, and he's wearing a stark black wig. His happy comments and general fun spark is replaced by thickly manufactured doom-and-gloom, his fingernails painted black and his clothes plain and dull. He then does a perfect set of space buns in the black wig, all whilst giving instructions in a complete and utterly boring drone. At the end of the video, he holds up a coffee cup, and in same unvarying pitch, says 'and remember. Coffee is bad for hair.' before breaking into the biggest, brightest laugh, and giving a cheeky wink. Shouta doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. And so, Shouta rants again. And Hizashi replies in a timely and fun manner. Shouta tries not to pay attention to the weirdly large following he has gathered, which for some unknown reason has opted to refer to themselves as ‘SleepyHeads’. Hizashi’s own following calls themselves ‘SunRays’. Shouta thinks it’s all completely ridiculous. After almost a solid two months of this back-and-forth via teasing and odd videos, Shouta finds an email in his inbox. No prizes for guessing who from. Hizashi is just as sweet in email as he is in video, and just as witty. Shouta’s crush couldn’t be bigger if he tried. But, the email asks something of Shouta that makes his heart stop. Hizashi asks to do a collab video, in which Hizashi styles his hair for him. Shouta should say no. This is getting way too out of hand, and it won’t help his dumb crush, and it’s just ridiculous to even consider it. Three days later, he’s awkwardly stood in front of Hizashi’s apartment. And Hizashi? Yup, more beautiful in person than Shouta thought possible, dressed in a cosy mustard-yellow turtleneck, and his hair cascading past his shoulders as his wide grin warmly welcomes Shouta inside. And Shouta, he’s certainly made an effort to be more presentable - he’s wearing his favourite jacket, though it does have a cat face drawn on the front pocket in black marker by Eri, and he’s washed his hair in the most expensive conditioner he could find, in hopes Hizashi doesn’t cringe doing his hair. There’s not much conversation before the video, Hizashi just gives him the basics of what he wants to happen before pushing Shouta towards his scarily professional setup, in front of an expensive-looking camera. Hizashi is like a precise whirlwind, knowing exactly what to hit next, and soon enough, Shouta is sat in a comfortable high seat, stony-faced and definitely not freaking out as Hizashi leans down and chuckles in his ear, ‘Oh yeah, by the way, we’re doing this show LIVE baby!’ Shouta has no time to object before Hizashi hits a button, and falls into his usual opening spiel. And Shouta? He’s ready to die. Its going to be him, sitting there, live, as Hizashi hates on his gross nasty hair and laughs about what an idiot he was in his videos. He wishes he had never come, he is SUCH an absolute fool, but then he feels a hand on his shoulder, pulling him out of his own head, and there’s Hizashi, smiling softly down at him. ‘Don’t look scared, this will be fun!’ And then, Hizashi is perched behind Shouta, at an angle that the camera can still see him too. Shouta tries not to look at the monitor in front of him, which shows exactly what the camera sees as hundreds of comments fly by. Suddenly, there’s a brush going through Shouta’s hair, and Hizashi talks as if they’ve done this for years. ‘Now, my dear viewers, this is the infamous Aizawa Shouta, or Vodka King to his SleepyHead fans!’ Shouta cringes, but Hizashi just continues. ‘I have to admit, his first video shocked me! But I mean, who wouldn’t be shocked by such a handsome man not only challenging me, but ruining his own fantastic locks too!’ Shouta freezes, and he wonders if Hizashi notices. Handsome? He thinks Shouta is handsome? He must be joking. But Hizashi continues, loudly and happily, as he brushes Shouta’s hair and reaches for some bobby pins. ‘Doing my own Vodka Hair Challenge was the most fun I’d had in a long time! Though of course, no alcohol if you’re not old like me!’ Hizashi tuts at the camera, quickly pulling his hand away from Shouta’s hair to waggle it at the screen. ‘Anyway! I am just so so lucky to have this hilarious man here, and I can only hope to do justice to all of this gorgeous thick hair! I’m thinking a cute crown plait, and some red flower clips to keep it all in place, because viewers, it would be a CRIME to cover this gorgeous face!’ Shouta’s cheeks are burning. This is not what he expected. But, they’re live, he has to keep his cool, he can’t be dragged along at this loud idiot’s pace or he’ll have a meltdown there and then. So he drily says, ‘The only crime occurring here is the annihilation of my ear drums. You are WAY louder in person.’ Hizashi pauses his brush, and Shouta thinks ‘oh God no I fucked it all up’, before Hizashi is releasing the heartiest laugh Shouta’s ever heard. It’s as if the room moves with him, and Shouta wonders what he wouldn’t give to hear it again. He hopes nobody has picked up the pinkness of his own cheeks. Hizashi’s camera cant be THAT good. From there, Hizashi just talks to Shouta and occasionally the viewers as if it’s the most normal thing in the world, and Shouta quickly finds himself doing the same. Talking to Hizashi is surprisingly easy, and damn it all he’s actually laughing with the man over literally nothing. And then his hair is done. ‘Ta-da!’ Shouta stares at his reflection in the hand-mirror Hizashi hands him. He’s done a good job. A fantastic job. Shouta’s hair is sweeping up into a braid that crowns his head, little bits of hair artfully poking out, staying true to his naturally curly ‘do, and cute red flowers adorn the style - all different shapes and sizes. ‘A beautiful mess’ comes to mind, and Shouta can’t help but feel he doesn’t actually deserve to have hair so nice. Hizashi is silent for once, the camera still rolling, and he’s looking right at Shouta, for the first time looking vulnerable, before he quietly says, ‘Do... You like it?’ And Shouta bits his lip, lowering the mirror, before sighing and genuinely smiling, his expression warm. In that moment, he KNOWS he doesn’t want this man to leave his life, and it’s scary, and it’s illogical, and it’s thrilling. Hizashi’s face is the one that goes red this time, as Shouta speaks up in an undeniably admiring and genuine tone, ‘It’s absolutely and utterly perfect, you wretched sunshine man.’

#erasermic #lctalks

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netflixoxygenoxygen · 6 years

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claudia x reader headcanons

claudia is a beautiful dumb dork mage and i hope i got her beautiful dumb dorkiness right so please enjoy!

so, if you’re a practicing mage she loves loves loves helping you with spells! or anything! is more excited when you do a spell correctly the first time than you are. also probably cannot wait for the day you can both tag team some dramatic foe using magic together because you two would obviously make the Best Team

if you’re not a mage though she loves loves loves collecting ingredients with you! and she info dumps a lot of magic-related stuff on you so, in theory, you can do every spell she can. in theory

collecting ingredients is a great excuse to hang out with you not that she needs one

sometimes you two don’t even get much done because you’re both too busy admiring the scenery aka stealing glances at each other and/or you have to steer her the right way because she’s reading her spellbook

if you’re scared of bugs however...

good luck

claudia: oh! y/n y/n look! i recognise this web pattern!! if we just follow the main threads, we can find a goliath birdeater--

you, losing all blood in your face: im sorry what did you just say

claudia: which will be great for the newest spell i--oh here it is!! y/n look!!!! it’s huuuuge--wait, why are you running????

the first date she is utterly awkward. she had been planning on asking soren for help but then forgot (that’s for the better though...the advice he gives is probably not the advice anyone needs) so now she’s not sure if she’s being too forward or too distant is it appropriate to show off a magic trick right now maybe she can make a potion to make you forget all this, this was such a bad idea--

by the end of it she’s uncharacteristically quiet and feeling a bit down in the dumps but all she needs is a little “this was fun i hope we can do it again sometime?” and she’s over the moon again

the next date she goes stuff it and straight out grabs your hand because you know what??? “??” life is short!!!

most likely gushes to viren and soren about you. viren seriously considers dark magic because (season 2 spoilers) he sees how happy she is and just cant have her getting left behind like he was. he keeps a close, close eye on you

soren just attempts to tune out his sister but it really doesn’t work. he thinks she’s using dark magic to force him to listen to her talk about how amazing and strong and cool-- “ok shut up now clauds ive heard this five hundred times before”

if you’re a fighter/guard, she probably tries to get a good word in to promote you

will watch you train/spar if you ask her to buuuut she might get a liiiiitle bit bored. sorry. she tries though! and she really does believe in you - that’s her reasoning

claudia: well i don’t need to see the ending because i already know you’re going to win!

you: claudia i was literally thrown down the last five times you came to watch

claudia, wincing: wellllll....

and while she may not have a lot of sway over some guards, when it’s you and her brother sparring she makes sure to give her brother the ‘im watching you’ gesture extra aggressively because she really doesn’t want you getting hurt despite how much you’ve told her it’s fine

be prepared if you go to the library with her on one of her library runs

she tends to keep books for a long while and borrow like fifty books at a time (the librarian hates her for this. though the librarian hates everyone. its fair) so you’ll more than likely get stuck carrying like 5 3-inch books in a stack as you two complete your third lap of the library

claudia: alright!! i think we got them all!! thanks so much for the help y/--wait where’d you go??

you, collapsed five shelves away: ...

claudia tries out a loooooot of nicknames like ‘honey’ ‘sweetie’ ‘baby’ (soren walked by once and fake gagged. or maybe he really gagged who knows). wants to find the perfect one for you so she goes through calling you everything and anything she thinks would fit like ‘jelly tart’ ‘sugary pie’ ‘the primal stone of my heart’ “mayyyybe we should stick with honey”

in the end though she loves saying your name (maybe a shortened version or some nickname variation too) most

just like how she loves you a whole lot!

#the dragon prince claudia #tdp claudia #claudia x reader #claudia imagines #claudia headcanons #claudia scenarios #tdp claudia x reader #tdp claudia imagines #tdp claudia headcanons #claudia #writing #my work

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abundantchewtoys · 5 years

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HS Epi: Meat p12 reaction

Back to Earth C presumably.

I gotta say, I'm curious to find out the final page count of Meat. The way we liveblog, the experience is stretched out, so with theories surfacing and such, we might be caught off guard when things are really over. There's only so far that things will be taken, though I guess we're still in for those "original Male/Female characters", I guess. :P That shouldn't refer to the new Reload timeline John created, I think, with copies of all the people mentioned in the rest of the character list. So, uh, yeah, guess the reason Arquiusprite wasn't mentioned in there was because he remained unseen, voided out if you will. And I guess we shouldn't expect an alternate Equius to have a talking role, either?

---

==>

Well! Talk about jumping straight into the action, this page opens with a dialoguelog! Back to Dave, Karkat and if my eyes didn't deceive me, we'll get some lines for Jade, too! Supportive Jade will be supportive.

"hit jane right in her neoliberal austerity measures" ... Hah. Well, I didn't think that would get referenced again at all, but it seems after all these years since John's 18th birthday Dave still has issues with the ol' N.A.M. So, Jane's a neoliberal AND a fascist now, Dave? Is that... even feasible?

"DAVE: now shes gonna spin some shit about supply side economics but we cant let her control the narrative on that one cause the first thing thats gonna happen once she begins deregulating the baking industry is that some sweet dumb crocodile down in consort land is gonna start putting sparkle glue in the cupcake mix which isnt even the real issue thats just surface issues KARKAT: RIGHT. JADE: definitely" ... Like, Dave I admire you're getting so into this, but you realize they aren't following, right? Also, why would Jane want to deregulate the baking industry if she's the leader of the foremost power in said industry, as well as running for president? Plus, Jane can't control the narrative because Caliborn is already controlling it! :mspa:

"DAVE: i mean earth c has just been play acting capitalism the last five thousand years while we timeskipped ahead to live rad lives as gods without bothering with any of the boring shit that goes into making a civilization DAVE: which is fine i mean you cant really expect a bunch of teens who didnt finish middle school to set up a sustainable form of social democracy that isnt just blatantly ripped off whatever we incorrectly thought obama god rest his soul was doing back in the day" ... Gee, Dave's given this a real lot of thought. Props to him, but I hope that aside from becoming 'an activist' he's also got some legitimite action points to improve Earth C's situation.

Guess Sburb really does a number on players, huh? "Congrats, you won, you're all gods now, and also, here's this whole civilization on the brink of collapse, have fun with that. Don't mess this up, I need those people to start the apocalypse in say, 2000 years, k thx bye." (The fact that this civilization, being outside of the Green Sun's influence, may never implement Sburb, is a bit besides the point since I think the trolls would have had the same issue tossed onto them had they actually gone through the victory door.)

Right, but the trolls had their home planet already effectively run by children, I wonder if that will come again? Even though they had carpenter droids at their disposal to run some things for them, they might actually be a bit more self-reliant than the humans!

"DAVE: but janes got this old school mentality you just know she wants to restrict grist alchemy for the sake of “growth” and when that goes down itll take three seconds flat for some nobody in new dersetown to drop the earth c communist manifesto" ... New Dersetown, I like the ring of that. Would call it New Dersey for short, though. :P Again, valid points there, Dave! If any revolt started, it doesn't have to be in the troll community, it could just as much be an angry carapace uprising! They're only docile if there's no one to rally behind.

Blaperile has this idea that the new society in a universe is not supposed to be seeded with the remains of the session nor the universe that came before it. That's actually a valid point; the only reason this society got kickstarted was through the cloning apparatus that was on the meteor! The consorts and carapaces seem like they would be able to reproduce biologically though, so I'm not sure how Sburb normally ensures the planet is a clean slate for a new species to emerge. ... Okay, so the planet itself doesn't really need to be the place where a new Sburb-playing species rises, true. There's a whole new universe out there.

Maybe through "importing" old Sburb technology, the "alpha" planet designation went to Earth C automatically, though.

Or maybe First Guardians are expected to 'cleanse' the planet from outside influence normally, but since this society's outside of the Green Sun's influence, that ain't happening. And Jade won't be going Thanos on Earth C.

"KARKAT: OH YEAH. JADE: of course DAVE: are you two even listening or are you just making noises with your mouths" Dave realizing he's monologuing? What character development is this. :O

"KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BEING ACCUSED BY DAVE STRIDER, REIGNING EMPEROR OF SPEWING ENDLESS VERBAL DIARRHEA DIRECTLY INTO MY INNOCENT HEAR DUCTS EVERY DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE, OF MAKING THOUGHTLESS MOUTH NOISES. KARKAT: JADE, ARE YOU HEARING THIS? JADE: im scandalized JADE: especially when JADE: there are much better things we could all be doing with our mouths....." ... Jade, your animes are showing again. ... I think that maybe Jade doesn't want this relation to be going where Dave and Karkat want it to go.

"It’s been a really nice day they’ve been having, and then Jade had to go say something like that. The air in the hive changes in a way that is palpable, in a way that she can’t seem to accurately gauge despite having both superhuman and superdog senses." ... Ah. So I guess maybe Jade just can't get a lid on some of her more... canine inclinations, at time. Welp!

"Elements of her outfit resemble her god tier jammies: peasant skirt, sparkly flats, and a bold choice in striped tights." Nice! That's only the third person who created an outfit based on her god tier outfit that we know, aside from Meenah and Rose.

"the couch where she crashed last night, and the night before that, and the better part of the seven years before that." It would seem Jade has the wanderlust then, she's more like the vagrant dog that comes visiting from time to time? More GCAT in demeanor than Becquerel, in practice. Heheh. Good for her, after being isolated on an island and then a battleship for so long, she's finally going out & seeing things!

"There are other personal effects of hers in the living room too: plants on the windowstill, her bass guitar sitting in a corner" Cool, so when she comes over, she typically lounges here then. Guess the flute never made it over, though. :p

"a horrific-looking periodic table that Dave made her for her seventeenth birthday pinned above the stairwell. He typed it in Comic Sans, and then deep-fried it to oblivion with JPEG artifacts." ... Next up, on For Fans By Fans...

"And Dave, with his preternaturally perfect timing, sweeps a hand over his tablet to bring up a new PowerPoint slide on the TV. He returns to his Comic Sans-written political presentation, gruesome artifacts and all" Dave, Dave that isn't professional at all!

", with the grace and proficiency of a man who has diffused an awkward situation in his own household many times per day, every day, for many years." Well, okay, that is really mature. But when Dave is the adult in a situation, the situation is very awkward per definition.

"DAVE: alternia: brutal eugenics based space dictatorship KARKAT: NOT UNTRUE." Succinct, brutal, but not dishonest.

"DAVE: troll homeworld: lord of the flies nightmare scenario where kids murder each other just to get the chance to get to grow up and murder other aliens instead KARKAT: IT WASN’T THAT BAD." Karkat. Karkat that isn't a valid rebuke.

"KARKAT: YOU MADE THAT LAST ONE UP. KARKAT: ALSO, IT WAS DISGUSTING?? KARKAT: GROW THE FUCK UP, YOU UTTERLY CONTEMPTIBLE, POTTY MOUTHED *CUNT*." ... The irony is stark.

"JADE: also you know trolls dont actually have two dicks dave thats an offensive stereotype" Are we really doing troll anatomy? Well, I guess it's good to know that the fan theory about Sollux at least isn't applicable to the entire species.

"DAVE: trolls: literally ate babies KARKAT: ONLY THE DEFECTIVE ONES. DAVE: like you my dude KARKAT: ...YEAH. DAVE: so thats why our campaign can work" Yeah, Karkat ate grubs, though they weren't troll babies. Also, yeah, Karkat was a mutant, but I wonder if that would really help his case here.

"DAVE: btw im gonna be giving a long form exam at the end of this to make sure youre retaining info because this is only like the most important thing weve ever done collectively" Well he ain't wrong.

"KARKAT: ARE YOU ASKING ME WHETHER I’VE HEARD THIS EXACT SPEECH ALMOST WORD FOR WORD, INCLUDING REHEARSED VERSIONS OF BOTH THE COLORFUL METAPHORS AND “JOKES,” TEN OR TWENTY TIMES ALREADY? KARKAT: BECAUSE THE ANSWER WOULD BE KARKAT: YES, OF COURSE I FUCKING HAVE." Poor, poor Karkat.

"Karkat elbows Dave in the thigh, a move that is obviously meant to be an action of pure, brotherly jest. But instead it comes off as affectionate and overly intimate. Jade’s clever eyes don’t miss this. Her pupils follow the motion of Karkat’s arm, and then they follow the movement of Dave’s mouth as he smiles in what he probably thinks is a totally neutral expression that reveals exactly 0% of his true feelings toward Karkat Vantas. In reality, his veneer is as thin and transparent as cellophane. He is the only person who can’t see through it.

Jade does some calculations in her head. Two kinds of calculations, in fact: mathematical ones and personal ones." So, is Jade reading too much into their relationship, or are the dudes just... Both too shy?

"JADE: soooooo JADE: do you want a projection of her first years hit on the economy down to the decimal with a 0.3% margin of error JADE: because thats a thing i can do if itll make you stop talking about this stupid election for ten minutes" I didn't know that were First Guardian powers! :p I suppose it might be her natural intellect though, but we've only known her as the hands-on science type until now.

"She proceeds to dazzle the two boys with explications on complex math utilizing taxation rates, GDP figures, and some damned thing called the “Laffer curve,”" Dang, Jade is as much committed to this as Dave! (Or maybe she learned all this because it means so much to him, that could be it too!)

"The thing about Jade Harley is that she’s not as good at personal things as she is at other things. Like science, or mastering fraymotifs, or kissing, the last of which she has definitely put a lot of levels into over the past few years because, well, what else are you supposed to do with immortal godhood once you hit the age where the dog hormones start kicking into overdrive?" Guess for dogs, kissing isn't that personal. :p And well, I guess Jade's only now learning the real consequences of turning into a real-life furry. At least she won't have had lack of candidates to practice kissing with. She might even have become the Witch of Spacing Out Young Adults.

"Her high-prescription lenses make her eyes look anime-huge. They might literally be glittering, she’s so completely serious about the issue she is trying to stress." And the fan artists rejoiced for all the new descriptions they have to work with!

" JADE: im about to lay out some cold hard evidence so pay attention! KARKAT: OH, HANG ON, LET ME GET A PEN." You can't live together with Dave for years without learning when it's time to start taking notes and grab a fucking pen.

"JADE: evidence about..... JADE: our relationship! KARKAT: FUCK" Pfff, okay, never mind. I think Jade might have hit a wall several times over before, trying to either define their relationship or take it to the next level. These dudes are really sensitive about their feelings, after all.

But it would be interesting, learning Jade wants to know where they stand just as much as the outside world does.

"JADE: you let me live in your hive when im in town KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE... JADE: im preeeetty intimately entwined in both your lives KARKAT: THAT YOU’RE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS? JADE: AND you dont disengage from about 86.234% of my flirtations KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP TRACK OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT? JADE: so....... are we doing this or not?" So, just like with taking on Lord English and acknowledging the lit fuse that is Earth C society, I guess the coming around of April 13th 2019 is when Jade had enough of all this silly business and wants to know what's what. (Also, I suppose the level of intimacy they shared on beforehand will be left to speculation.)

"KARKAT: DOING WHAT?! JADE: dating dummy!!!!!!!! KARKAT: OH. KARKAT: THAT IS KARKAT: THAT IS... A COMPLICATED TOPIC IN MY CULTURE THAT I’M NOT SURE HUMANS ARE EQUIPPED TO TALK ABOUT." Smooth, Karkat, real smooth. Maybe Karkat fears commitment will lead to some of their relationships shifting into other quadrants. And he wouldn't like to be moirails or auspistices with either of them.

"DAVE: also totally unrelated to the economy" ... Nice try Dave, but I think this can't be steered back into that track.

"DAVE: which not gonna lie is the only thing i want to talk about for uh DAVE: for however long it takes for this other conversation to stop happening JADE: so say no!!! DAVE: well KARKAT: UHHHHH JADE: im not just forcing this conversation for my sake! its for you two as well JADE: i mean after all this time have you two even kissed yet?????? DAVE: wha" I think Dave and Karkat might actually have been both content to stay uncommitted and fearful to put a label on it. Also Jade's question will presumably remain unanswered, it's already surprising it's confirmed she hasn't seen them kissing. And that is ignoring the matter of whether either Dave or Karkat kissed Jade before. I guess it's only fortunate for this situation that this instance of Jade never dated Davesprite, it would only complicate things further.

"DAVE: wha KARKAT: WH-WHY WOULD DAVE: uhh KARKAT: WHY WOULD WE KISS?? DAVE: thats KARKAT: THAT’S... YOU... I MEAN, HE’S... HE’S DAVE. DAVE: we KARKAT: AND I’M KARKAT." PFffffffff, hilarious! I can just see them blushing like tomatoes right now. Can't keep staying in denial bros!

"JADE: yes hes dave and youre karkat and everyone we know always calls you that JADE: “dave and karkat”" Hah! Yeah, but they also think you're part of the item, Jade. Care to shed some thoughts on the subject?

"JADE: i cant remember the last time i heard anyone mention one of you without the other JADE: the two of you have basically been together since your days on the meteor its SO obvious" Jade has turned this from a personal matter into a fandom matter. "Everyone and their dog knows you're dating, guys! Stop pretending otherwise!" It's interesting to note the different ways Dave has been seen handling relationships. When he dated Terezi in the GO timeline, it went south due her troubles in the black quadrant. When Davesprite dated Jade, it went south due to unresolved Dave issues, presumably having to do with his bros. With Karkat, Dave's been in a stable-ish thing for the longest time, though.

" KARKAT: VERY CLOSE FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER ON A DEEP AND EMPATHETIC LEVEL THAT GOES BEYOND HATE OR PITY. YOU COULD EVEN SAY THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP... KARKAT: ...TRANSCENDS QUADRANTS." ... PFfffffff, so this could have been what it was like for the Sufferer and the Disciple, then! They were just never ready to commit? That would actually be funnier than it being this deep and fulfilling relationship. It would also make Doc Scratch' misgivings on the relationship even more hilarious.

"JADE: yeaaaaaah not gonna lie karkat but that sounds totally kinda gay KARKAT: UGH YOU HUMANS AND YOUR UNFATHOMABLE GENDER BASED QUADRANTS." ... Heh. Actually. Too trolls, the whole gender-based romance thing we have going must indeed be as unfathomable as leprechaun romance.

"Jade faceplams." Well that's a new verb. ;) What part of the body is the 'plam', exactly?

" KARKAT: ANYWAY WEREN’T YOU... DATING THAT CARAPACIAN COUPLE? LAST TIME WE CHECKED?" Lolwut. Jade. Jade are you... are you being a Ms. Casanova, a paramour or two in every city you frequent? If WV and PM turn out to be alive for the sole purpose of dating Jade, I'll choke on my drink.

" DAVE: wait you saying we arent fun JADE: whens the last time either of you left the house??????" I know Jade means it as in, she'd like to date them for keeps. But I also fulheartedly believe Dave and Karkat can sustain themselves on delivery pizza and chinese chow.

"In her other hand, she tries to grab Dave’s wrist, but he flash-steps to the other side of the couch." Well that's a new use of the power, guess Dave must really have felt alarmed. :p

"JADE: i wanna try dating for real KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY TOTALLY BLOWS YOUR MIND KARKAT: DATING A SINGLE PERSON, FOR MORE THAN HALF A SWEEP, FOR REASONS OTHER THAN INITIATING THE CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS?" Karkat is trying to throw the issue back into Jade's face by saying she should try dating for a longer period of time. But that's exactly what she's trying to do here! She knows who she wants that with! That poor little troll, he's not getting out from under this.

"JADE: third of all karkat arent you from a culture where people are expected to engage in romantic relationships with up to like five people at a time?? KARKAT: THAT’S NOT KARKAT: THAT’S NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL." If he's trying to avoid getting dragged into quadrants with people, he should stop upholding the validity of the quadrants to hold people off. :p

"DAVE: ok jade i think theres a flaw in your approach here cause you seem to think winning an argument on super clever logical grounds is gonna get a couple dudes to break down and fling themselves at you in like, a sexual way JADE: wellll it usually does ;B DAVE: oh my fucking god" So she swoons people by way of her big brain. Jade's got CLASS.

"This earns Dave a look. A long, sad one that has Jade messing with her glasses again so that she can peer right at him and apply some more of that faulty personal math to his facial expression." Just confirmation here that Jade isn't necessarily correct in all her assessments due to not being objective.

"JADE: dave are you in love with obama? DAVE: jade jesus where do you get this shit from JADE: is it about jesus then??????" Aaaaaand this has been derailed again.

"DAVE: no! DAVE: jesus wasnt even real JADE: i know he wasnt real! JADE: wait... JADE: are you saying JADE: obama was real? DAVE: ... DAVE: yes" Wut. Wai- I- Jade. Honey. Please. Guess for all her involvement in politics since, those isolated years on the island sheltered her WAY too much.

"DAVE: obama was real DAVE: he was the president KARKAT: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JADE: all this time i thought obama was like JADE: an aspirational fictional character that you modeled your life after KARKAT: AHAHAHAHA I CAN’T AHAHA BREATHE... JADE: like snoop dog or nicolas cage" ... Jade. Jade no. You're just making this worse on yourself. For Jade, there would have been almost nothing in Homestuck she'd have seen as a reference to 'real life', would there?

"senary numeral systems that allow me to do complex equations in my head" ... Why is Base 6 good for complex equations? I'm probably not good enough at math to know.

"KARKAT: WHY IS IT LIKE SOME SORT OF *TRAGEDY* HOW SHE WAS RAISED? KARKAT: BECAUSE SHE WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL?? KARKAT: *I* WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIMAL!" There! It's getting acknowledged again, how Jade's upbringing more resembles a troll than a human's! Becquerel the lusus.

"There’s a ripple in the room that makes it clear their god tier powers have just clashed against each other. He shifts his arm through time and Jade warps the space around them so that she’s the one holding the tablet. This is not the first time that they have rearranged the fabric of reality for a petty reason like this. Karkat has permanently sworn off playing board games with them." ... Lol. First real use of the god tier powers in Earth C, and it goes like this! Wait, couldn't Jade have snapped... Right, no, she actually wouldn't have First Guardian powers anymore now, I forgot. Still, what did Dave try to do, move the tablet to another point in the timeline?

"The moment Jade brings the paint program up on the television, Karkat stops laughing. KARKAT: NO!" Oh boy. Time for the Penis Quadrant scene, this time with three people. ... This would actually fall under both definitions of a "sketch", actually.

"He tries to grab the tablet from her, but she’s hovering well above the ground and he simply is not tall enough to reach. With a shit-eating grin and deliberate care, Jade begins to draw a grid." He's going to jump up to grab her leg, to disturb the drawing, isn't he?

"She gives Karkat a pair of fuzzy, angry eyebrows" Now I'm starting to think of the Karkat expressions in that one Paradox Space.

"all he accomplishes is turning the redrom trajectory between her and Dave into a redrom loop-de-loop." This is all I could want from a reprise of this scene.

"JADE: see me and karkat have great black chemistry! KARKAT: IT IS NOT BLACK CHEMISTRY YOU HORRID NON-CHITINOUS WINDBAG!" A+ denial there, Karkat, props on the response.

"JADE: and now that daves all chill hed make a great auspistice" Jade just wants all Karkat's quadrants filled by the three of them, somehow.

"JADE: because you and karkat are kind of like moirails DAVE: no JADE: and you and i JADE: well yknow its always been pretty flirty DAVE: jade JADE: EXCEPT!

Jade finishes drawing a shaky heart directly into the paint program. It’s so big and bright on the TV that it fills the entire room with red light." She's putting all these names and symbols to the relationship, it might just be too much for these poor boys to handle. :p

"JADE: i call this political arrangement: JADE: fully automated luxury polyamorous space-time communism!!!!!!!" That is not the shipping name I would've chosen, but it's the shipping name we deserve. And hey, communism! Get it? Cause Karkat had a sickle.

I wonder what Karkat's take on polyamory outside of the ashen quadrant is, actually.

"Jade rolls her eyes and tosses both the tablet and pen over her shoulder. Dave flashes across the living room to catch his very expensive computing device in both arms. The pen bounces off his forehead." This. Entire. Scene.

"JADE: i have to go talk to roxy and callie about the election anyway" Well, she's going to let them stew on this for a while. But I'm eager to find out who Roxy & Calliope would back. You might think Jane's a given, but if she's been busy maybe they have grown closer to Jade & Dave!

"Jade clicks her heels together to propel herself back into the air and actually winks at them before absconding through an open window." Think happy thoughts! Also, I just realized becoming a god sadly never gave Karkat the powers of flight.

"Dave and Karkat both stare after her, silently caught in their own private rationalization spirals.

Karkat needs to verbalize part of his out loud." Ah, but can they stay in that spiral or will they have no choice but to break out of it?

"KARKAT: WANNA PLAY SOME TROLL TONY HAWK? DAVE: hell DAVE: yeah" Yyyyyeaah, they are not going to have changed when Jade comes back, will they?

So even Karkat calls it "Troll Tony Hawk", not whatever absurdly wrong name it'd have on Alternia, and not whatever Tony Hawk's duodecimal name in Alternian would be. :P

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #upd8 #reaction #spoiler alert #jade harley #karkat vantas #dave strider #homestuck liveblog

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