#//technically i think hes a live in maid type thing but honestly

[creatureofthelost]

"I'm Raphael- and you?"

she confusedly holds out a hand as an unsure greeting

"Oh, I should find somewhere to stay before it gets too cold..."

[kidcataldo]

Carson/Mrs. Hughes OTP questions no one asked for but I’m giving to you anyway because they’re fun:

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Mrs. Hughes started flirting first, and Carson in the beginning was oblivious to it. It took him a good ten years or so to realize what it was she was doing, as silly as that sounds. Even then, he was hesitant to participate, wanting to maintain a professional relationship.

But Carson was the first to be attracted to her. I mean, Phyllis Logan looked like this back in the day

Of course Mr. Carson was smitten with the new maid, but obviously he couldn’t do anything about it. And Mrs. Hughes upon her arrival probably only saw Carson as her superior, Butler at her new job and not much more, whom, quite honestly, she probably gossiped about with the fellow servants for being a brown nosed snob. It wasn’t until she was promoted to housekeeper and spent more time with him, and truly got to know him, the real him, that she started feeling an attraction toward him.

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Mrs. Hughes was much more confident about her body in her youth than she is now. It’s not that she feels ugly, no, she just knows things hang lower than they used to and she no longer fits the standards of being an attractive woman. It’s one thing to see a body age over time, but to see an aged body for the first time? It’s quite overwhelming. After all, she lives in a age where women like herself are taught to be prudes, spinsters too devoted to duty to have any real desire for sex or nakedness.

It takes a while for her to “feel better” about it. Charlie’s affections certainly help build her confidence. But sometimes she finds herself pulling the sheets up just a little higher, whereas a more confident woman, a younger woman, might not think to hide her breasts from the world.

3. Who is the most romantic?

Carson is not your typical romantic. He remembers Saint Valentine’s Day, and yet he devotes himself to professionalism.

I headcanon Carson actually gave Mrs. Hughes a Valentine after they became engaged and that’s what set Elsie off in s6e1, wondering what his true intentions were with her because “he’s willing to give me a card for Valentine’s Day but he won’t hold my hand or kiss me???”

And then she realizes after they’ve married that he’s a really loving man, he just doesn’t like to make that side of him public.

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Carson can be handsy when he’s in the mood for it. And he believes, at least in the beginning of their marriage, it is his duty as the husband to initiate the more intimate moments between them. But Elsie is the one more willing to initiate hugs and kisses in more public settings.

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

I guess in canon Carson technically. “I do want to be stuck with you” is the words of a man professing his love. You can’t change my mind on that.

However, I don’t imagine they’re the type to always say the words “I love you” out loud. It has to be a special moment. So, the first time they actually say it to each other is either after they marry or right before they’re first time together.

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

They would not have a threesome. Carson’s way too conservative to even suggest, much less think of, such a thing. Elsie’s horrified the question was even brought up.

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

Carson is very much a stay in for the night kind of person, but Elsie forces him out every so often. Most likely to go eat in a public house. Elsie dragged him out to go dancing once or twice, but he grumbled about it the entire time so she hasn’t taken him since. They spend time at the fair whenever it’s in town.

8. What do they like in bed?

Carson is a very vanilla man. He is satisfied with missionary and really doesn’t need that much else, while Elsie is much more willing to experiment, especially after she becomes more comfortable with sex. But, of course, nothing happens between them that is too shocking. They are respectable people, mind.

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

Intimacy is quite new to them, so I imagine more quiet/comfortable moments take some getting used to. Ex: using the bathroom with the other just behind the door to hear everything, or being sick with the flu and having the other see everything. But they get over that quickly and they learn to be comfortable, embarrassing sounds and all.

10. What do they hide from one another?

Carson: his shaky hands. And possibly anything that reveals himself incompetent.

Elsie: her more progressive/feminist views.

11. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

The atmosphere between them changes when Carson proposes. Before, they were just very close colleagues, who occasionally flirted with each other. After he proposes, things become different and a little more awkward.

But once they establish that they will indeed be intimate in their upcoming marriage, I imagine Carson starts making more of an effort to show Elsie that he’s interested in her, like maybe kissing her goodnight before they go up for bed, obviously behind closed doors where no one else can see.

12. When do they realise they should get together?

Part of me wonders if Carson was waiting to propose after they retire, given the whole “we should invest in a property together” plot. I think putting her name on the property after she confessed why she couldn’t was his way of telling her “don’t worry, I’ll take care of you in your old age.” And he only proposed because she wasn’t quite getting it. He isn’t the best communicator when it comes to his feelings.

13. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

When Elsie has a cold, Carson hardly notices because she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Carson, however, turns into quite the baby when his throat is even the slightest bit scratchy.

14. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

I imagine Elsie has to drag Carson to a silent film. She’ll want to see whatever’s popular while Carson would rather watch paint dry, but he’ll enjoy it once they’ve settled in their seats.

15. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

Carson dies almost immediately. Mrs. Hughes becomes the matriarch of the post apocalyptic sanctuary Tom Branson and Lady Mary create.

16. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

Carson travels back in time to see Queen Victoria’s coronation. Elsie travels into the future to witness a more kinder and forgiving world.

17. When they fight, how do they make up?

18. Where do they go on their first date?

People didn’t go on dates back then. But I imagine Carson takes her out places after they become engaged that could be considered their first date. Maybe Carson considers that moment at the sea to be their first “date.” Elsie does not.

19. Where do they go on holiday?

Scarborough. I don’t think servants in those days went on a lot of holidays. Carson might see a trip up to London with the family as a holiday, even if they are working. Elsie would not see it that way and get upset if Carson tries to argue it is. Change in scenery, yes, but not a holiday.

20. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

They’re comfortable, they don’t get nervous about being with each other, no matter the location. Carson may feel apprehensive about being called Charlie by Elsie (or anyone) in front of the family, but he isn’t nervous about being seen with her, and nor is she.

21. Where does their first kiss happen?

In Carson’s pantry, as shown in canon. I headcanon their first “passionate” kiss was in the privacy of their own home a few weeks before their wedding.

22. Where is their favourite place to be together?

Probably at home where they can truly be themselves.

23. Where do they first have sex?

Most likely their first time was in their hotel room on their honeymoon. Carson respects Elsie too much to bed her before marriage.

24. Why do they get jealous?

Part of me feels Carson was a bit jealous of Joe Burns in s1 and he would be annoyed if someone openly flirted with Elsie in front of him, especially after they’ve married.

I don’t think Mrs. Hughes is jealous of any woman in Carson’s life, past or present. She gets irritated with Lady Mary, but not jealous. His relationship with Alice showed her he was human and capable of being in love. I honestly feel like she only wants Carson to be happy. If that means him being in love with someone other than herself, then she wouldn’t do anything to interfere with that relationship. Whereas, I feel, Carson might interfere with Elsie’s love life (depending on which season—s1 Carson would absolutely not interfere, but s3 Carson and beyond definitely would). Elsie wouldn’t be jealous of him finding love. She might be a little sad about him being in love with someone else, but mostly she would just be happy for her friend finding love.

After they’ve married, she would find amusement in other women flirting with her oblivious husband. Like that *spoiler* scene in the new movie—I am absolutely convinced she and Maude would spend the entire day laughing and teasing him about the incident while Carson trails behind them red faced.

25. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

Carson admires Elsie’s kindness and her willingness to help others whenever she can offer it. Elsie admires his loyalty and his compassion toward the family, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with it.

The endearing moment of Elsie catching him singing after he’s been told she isn’t sick in s3, I think, is where she realizes he cares for her deeply. And perhaps this is when he too realizes he likes her maybe just a little bit more than a friend/colleague.

But I think Carson really started coming to terms with his love for Elsie when she helped him bring closure to his past relationship with Charlie and Alice. That was something he really needed to deal with before opening his heart again.

After they’ve married, there are probably things they discover about each other that make them think “wow I didn’t know you did that but it makes me love you even more for it.” Small moments like Elsie realizing Carson keeps his socks and underwear in separate drawers or Carson discovering Elsie hums when she does her hair each morning.

[haloshornsinkstains]

First Dates with Middle Blockers

Featuring Tsukki, Tendou, Suna, Aone and Mattsun.

Gender neutral fluff. Warning for being a bit all over the place timeline wise for when the first dates happen.

Tsukki

You and Tsukishima meet in the college library, you've both noticed the other there several times before, but only gather the courage to talk to each other when you're forced to share a table in the busy period before exams.

He's already working part time at the museum, and when he notices the topic you're studying also happens to be the subject of a special exhibition at the museum it seems too good of an opportunity to pass.

Technically he doesn't actually use the word date when he asks you but he also doesn't deny it is one when you ask and that's good enough for you. (Yamaguchi scolds him for being emotionally constipated later, and Hinata will never let him live picking a museum for a first date down).

It is, by far, one of your favourite dates you've ever been on. Tsukishima doesn't shoot your enthusiasm down, or make fun of your nerdy passions. And he's more than happy to engage in discussions and debates with you as you go through the exhibits.

He walks you home afterwards, and while he's not entirely honest about his feelings, he does admit he wouldn't mind doing it again.

Tendou

Tendou is extremely nervous about asking you out on a date. He's pretty sure you like him, and his friends are 110% certain you do, but still it's pretty nerve wracking. Boy has some self esteem issues beneath it all.

When you say yes he's so excited, straight up forgets how to speak or even breathe for a bit there. But once you left to let him practice it suddenly hits him, he has zero clue what to do on a first date.

The team is full of ideas, from cinemas to a restaurant meal, but it's Ushijima who comes through best with his straightforward honesty. "There is no point going on a date if you do not enjoy it too. If you both like the same thing shouldn't you do that?"

He takes you on a trip to Sendai, wandering around EBeanS and the other geeky stores in the area, before taking you to a Butler Cafe. At first he was going to take you to one of the Maid Cafes in the area, but he worried how you'd react and when he heard about the Butler Cafe he thought it might be better for you.

It nearly backfires on him horribly. All these men who look incredible, with impeccable manners, and seeing you giggle and play with your hands nervously as they take your order… his anxieties start playing up, worried you'll see him as the monster everyone else does now.

But once the other man has gone to prepare your orders your gaze is straight back on him, eyes bright and grin dazzling as you tell him how much fun you've had and how great this date has been. Tendou is ready to melt in his seat, you're so perfect it's almost unreal.

On the way back to the dorms after a delicious (if overpriced) tea at the cafe, you keep thanking him and telling him how great his is and honestly, as much as he's trying to play it off he's ready to combust.

Outside your dorms you learn up to press a kiss to his cheek, leaving the same shade as his hair. Asking if you could see him again shyly.

Tendou has never said yes so quickly or enthusiastically in his life.

Suna

Suna is, above all, kinda lazy. So don’t expect any big nights out or dramatic shows of courtship, at least not for a first date.

The pair of you bonded over laughing at viral videos in the back of a very boring lecture, which quickly developed into discussions of films and games. Why would he want to change up the things that seemed to be working so soon? Besides, he’s not entirely certain how he feels about you yet.

So your first date takes place at his house. He is, at least, clear with you that he means for this to be a date. Suna might not be clear on his feelings yet, but he wants you to know the feelings could exist if nothing else.

When you get to his house he has your favourite snacks ready on the table and a movie the pair of you had been talking about earlier in the week ready to play. You grin and settle onto the couch next to him.

Your evening is spent watching and discussing movies, laughing at videos he still has saved on his phone of the Miya twins back in highschool. It’s over too soon, as good things usually are, but Suna at least has his answer.

Just as you’re saying goodbye he stops you. “Can we do this again some time? I could… take you out somewhere?”

The speed with which you agree is a little embarrassing but he just smiles back at you.

Aone

Oh gosh someone help this baby.

His first date with you is something of a blind date, not entirely since you've texted each other and exchanged pictures, but you've never met in person before. It's also entirely Futakuchi's fault (he's trying to be helpful, honest).

Aone invites you to a cafe to meet, thinking you'll feel more secure in a public place. He knows he comes across as a little scary, and as much as he's enjoyed your conversations he's worried you'll be scared of him.

When you meet him at the cafe you don't shy away like he worried you would, instead your smile is so bright and warm it's blinding. You happily sit across from him, filling in spaces where needed with conversation, but happy to sit in silence when that fit the mood better.

Aone thinks you’re wonderful, just as brilliant in real life as you have been over text. You give him time to talk where warranted, and listen to every word he has to say when he does, but at the same time you’re happy to fill silences with gentle conversation.

Once you’re finished with your drinks he leads you to a nearby park and the two of you walk around hand in hand. The silence is comfortable, occasionally interrupted by Aone pointing out and interesting plant or your excitement over local wildlife.

After the park he walks you to your bus stop, he wants to offer to see you home but Aone worries too much and never actually manages to ask you. At the bus stop you thank him over and over for being such good company and agreeing to meet you, his cheeks flush pink and he’s pretty sure the words didn’t come out how he wanted them to, but you're smiling regardless and promising to see him again even as the bus pulls up.

On his way home he sends Futakuchi a text to thank him.

Mattsukawa

Dating is hard when you work in a funeral home, it’s not exactly the sexiest of jobs and the superstitious types tend to avoid him.

So he's pretty excited when you agree to go on a date with him after Makki introduces you to each other (he still has no idea how you and Makki know each other, but there's no need to look a gift horse in the mouth).

Issei is generally a pretty chill dude, and his date plans reflect this. A movie and dinner, it's a classic and just casual enough to let you both be yourselves.

He buys the movie tickets, which he may or may not have chosen to give him just enough opportunities to hold you without potentially ruining the date with terror. You insist on buying the popcorn however "it's only fair".

The restaurant he takes you to for dinner is one of his favourites. A little family owned place that's cosy and comfortable, just fancy enough for a date with none of the pretentiousness of upscale restaurants.

He impresses you with his knowledge of the menu, you pick one of the dishes he recommends and it's divine. Conversation is easy, the movie provides a great starting point but it isn't long before you're off on tangents, retailing each other with stories of your lives.

He doesn't even make it to your house before you're asking if he wants to do this again. You had such a great time and you don't want it to end. He agrees of course, he doesn't want the night to end either.

[revengerevisited]

So I’ve been kinda dancing around my original story idea for a little while, and I got this idea in my head of ‘what if I release chapter 1 and then get feedback without telling anyone what the story is about first so it’s more of a surprise?’ But honestly? I’m realizing since I already released a preview-of-a-preview for chapter 1, and it might be a little while until I finish chapter 1, plus I honestly kinda feel like I’d rather work on sketches of my character designs than write at the moment, I might as well go ahead and tell you guys. X’3

So! I watched a couple anime recently both centered around the premise of... monster girls! These being Monster Musume and Monster Girl Doctor, but then I noticed there’s also Interviews with Monster Girls, A Centaur’s Life, and the infamous Interspecies Reviewers, and I asked myself... Monster girls are pretty popular right now, yeah? But where’s all the monster boys?! And that’s how I got the idea! I re-watched some of my favorite anime based on Otome Games, Kamigami no Asobi and Uta no Prince Sama for inspiration as well, and a few ones I hadn’t seen before like Dance with Devils and Magic-kyun Renaissance for inspiration as well.

So now I’ve got my premise that I shared earlier: This is the story of Millie, a young woman down on her luck who happens to live in a world where monsters aren’t just real, but commonplace. She started working as a maid in a mansion-turned-art-school whose students are a group of very attractive monster boys. The twist is that these aren’t just any monster boys; they belong to various rare and exotic species with deadly reputations...

Note that character and place names are technically place-holders for now and may change if I come up with better ones. Now, I don’t wanna spoil anything story-wise, but I think I can introduce my setting and some of the characters that you’re gonna meet. The story is set in a modern setting, though it’s vague if it’s actually Earth or just some generic world similar to it, as I try to avoid referencing real-world places or events. This is a world where humans and monsters live together after a Great Interspecies War happened in the past, but tensions have mostly relaxed by the time the story takes place. The war could be thought of as the equivalent of our own World War One, one in which there was a truce decided after many years of stalemate fighting.

The city everything takes place in is tentatively named Dullahan, and was built directly after the war to commemorate peace between human and monster kind. It’s considered an artistic cultural center, and it’s got a lot of interesting entertainment places to go to, arcades, theaters, aquariums, etc, that the characters can have a lot of different shenanigans in. The other main setting is the Beaufort Academy of the Arts, which was actually a mansion that was converted into a small private school. This is where all the characters live, and our main character Millie works as a maid there.

Before I go into the characters, I should start with the various monster species. There are 12 species, divided into 2 groups: common monsters and exotic monsters. The common monsters are centaurs, harpies, lamias (snake people), kobolds (dog people), ogres, and merrows (mermaids). These species are all pretty standard, and will be mostly background characters and npcs. The main characters, and love interests for Millie, will be of the exotic variety: arachnes (spider people), sirens (deep-sea mermaids), mandrakes (plant people), dragons, manticores (with a liontaur body-type), and scyllas (octopus people).

So what differentiates a common monster from an exotic one? Well, while the Interspecies War was between humans and monsters in general, some monsters were already at least partially integrated into human society, and the rest followed soon after the war ended. These monsters were almost as common as humans, and either herbivorous or omnivorous, with the exception of the carnivorous lamias who prefer to eat eggs over anything else. On the other hand, the so-called ‘exotic’ species were not only much more rare, but they had a very different food preference... one which earned them the now derogatory nickname... man-eaters.

Naturally, most ‘man-eaters’ weren’t exactly welcomed into human --nor common monster-- society with open arms, not that most of them wanted to. For the most part, species as powerful and dangerous as them didn’t want to play nice with those they had once --and in some cases still do-- regard as prey, and so hid away into the furthest reaches of the world. Which of course makes them perfect material for all our leading men and Millie’s various love-interests!! Oh yes, while all of these monster boys are perfectly civilized --well, for the most part-- they still belong to species that many both human and monster alike continue to fear to this day. While they aren’t exactly fish out of water (well, except for the siren) there’s still plenty of awkward misunderstandings and interesting scenarios that can be played out.

So! Let’s have a quick run-down of the characters, keep in mind that none of these names are final and could change later on. First there’s Millie, a hardworking young woman who’s had a recent streak of bad luck. Through a misunderstanding she gets hired as a maid in a mansion-turned-art-school. She’s very sweet and tries her best to help others, but she’s not as innocent as she appears; she’ll understand your innuendos just fine, even if she doesn’t really say any herself! Next is Richard and Lara Beaufort, a husband and wife who run the school. Richard is rather laid-back, yet he’s also a master of all kinds of art, painting, sculpture, photography, dancing, singing, you name it! Lara is his arachne wife, a rather boisterous woman who owns a high-class fashion company. The secret to her clothing’s success?? Arachne silk, of course! The school was her idea, a way to help better integrate exotic species into society. Will her mission succeed? Only time can tell.

Richard and Lara have a son named Simon, our first love interest and a human-arachne hybrid who takes almost entirely after his mother in the looks-department (hybrids tend to look like one species or the other, rather than a mix of both). He’s a bit withdrawn due to dealing with bullying as a kid; most people --human and monster alike-- are afraid of his spider-like appearance, so he doesn’t get out much-- to the point his parents worry about him being a shut-in for life! He’s also a gamer boy, and has a secret soft side for gothic poetry, although he doesn’t want to join his parents’ art classes. He actually disapproves of his mother’s exotic species integration plan, as from what he’s experienced he feels it’s a waste of time.

Simon’s best friend and Millie’s second love interest is Louis, a mandrake who lives in the woods behind the manor. Louis is extremely shy and more than a bit lonely, even more so than Simon, and he doesn’t speak very often out of fear that the sound of his voice will hurt others around him. Mandrake screams can induce insanity or even kill those that hear them, hence his fear. Being part plant, Louis has mild shape-shifting abilities and is able to transform between child and young adult forms at will, although he’s actually the oldest of the group. He also isn’t a student at the art school, although he has an interest in floristry.

Now for our actual students! Forrest is a manticore, which in this world means he has a body similar to that of a centaur, but with the lower half of a lion instead of a horse, and a scorpion-like tail tipped with a deadly venomous stinger. Despite his species’s name literally meaning ‘man-eater’, Forrest is extremely friendly and cheerful, and is very sporty too. His passion is photography, and he also loves eating food-- any sort of meat dish is fine by him! He’s also a fan of fantasy tabletop roleplaying games, and will often make references comparing them to everyday life; he always plays the knight who saves the princess!

Anthony is a childhood ‘friend’ of Forrest’s, though he’s loathe to admit it. Highly intelligent and highly snobbish, Anthony fancies himself an intellectual-- and he’s not exactly wrong. Being a dragon, he likes to hoard things-- in his case, knowledge. Anthony loves to read, and is most often found in the library. His skill is in drawing and painting, and all his paintings’ invariably morose subject matter worry Millie. Still, this haughty dragon could definitely learn to loosen up a little, and be a little more kind; perhaps his stay at the academy --and his interactions with Millie-- will open his mind to appreciating the feelings of others. He does, at the very least, greatly respect Master Beaufort as a master of the arts.

The other two students are denizens of the sea, and have been friends for a very long time. Emil is a scylla, and like all scyllas he’s a little eccentric, and just can’t seem to keep his tentacles to himself! While Forrest is obsessed with eating, Emil’s true calling is cooking, and he loves making all kinds of dishes, especially anything seafood and/or foreign. Emil also is highly appreciative of women’s fashion, and absolutely adores everything to come from Madam Beaufort’s clothing brand-- so much so that he actually wears them himself! His pretty-boy looks and penchant for wearing women’s clothing actually has Millie mistake him for a girl at first, though he’s very much unafraid to show her his romantic side, or at least what he interprets as romantic... 

Keeping Emil’s pervy antics in check is our sixth and final monster boy, Oswald! As a siren, Oswald spent most of his life in the sea, and still has a lot to learn about humanity. He’s a pretty cool guy but gets a bit embarrassed about his species’s troublesome past as the cause of many shipwrecks at sea, and would prefer to not discuss it. His passion is rock music, and his main instrument is the guitar. He also loves to sing, but refrains from doing so due to the hypnotic effect it has on other species. His lack of legs, tentacles, or a snake-like tail means that like other merrows and sirens he requires a wheelchair to move around on land, and often feels frustrated that he can’t show off how adept he is at traversing water. He’s also easy to embarrass and obsessed with not allowing anything to ‘ruin’ his manly image, including allowing Millie (a girl!) to help carry him around.

So there you have it, all my monster boys! I left out a few things, as those would be major spoilers, but those are my ideas for the characters for now! I’ll try to draw and post some sketches of their designs later. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten anything, but this won’t be the last time I talk about monster boys. Any questions or comments would be very much appreciated! Nsfw questions are allowed (all the boys wear pants for a reason, after all), though I’m currently not sure if this series will be 16+ or 18+, if you catch my meaning. Lemme know how interested you are in this story, or if you’re not interested please let me know that too! 

[el-oh-her]

Barbie Movies That Are More Relevant Than You Think

1. Barbie’s Princess and the Pauper 

> The Big Thing: Shows a realistic representation of 1st world problems and 3rd world Problems coexisting. Annalise is a princess in an arranged marraige and Erika is an indentured servent, both looking to esacpe, but are determined to overcome these issues. They acknowledge that they have differerent problems but are both struggling in their own right. It’s important to know that they don’t wish they were someone else, they just wish they could escape their personal struggles. 

> Women supporting women! 

> Female Leads that are friends and aren’t catty towards each other 

> Annalise and Erika talk about things other than boys, althrough an arranged marraige is a plot point and all boy talk is really about that particular plot point. 

> “Duty is doing the things your heart may well regret” is the most badass line in exsitance, okay? 

> The Princess loved science. 

2. Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princessess 

> The Big Thing: This story is about extremism and the dangers of a binary system. In this case, it’s Law vs Chaos, and unregulated freedom of expression vs overregulated conformity. The 12 are unruly and chaotic and uncaring about their royal status which causes strain on the kingdom and they are super unprepared for royal life. The antagonist comes in, strips the color and the fun and is all rules and control and is trying to teach them how to be “proper ladies” which is also done in an extreme. Neither of these are right, and in the end the girls use their unique interests to save their father, and they acknowledge they should behave better and be prepared for royal life. They essentially find their middle way. 

> Realistic siblings. No one calls the other “sister” 

> Lacy, the frail sister, is never treated poorly by her sisters despite the fact she causes a few issues in the plot. Super supportive sisters. 

> LI isn’t a prince. He’s a shoemaker. 

> There’s an assassination attempt in this one! It technically succeeds. Really good show on adult topics in a children’s movie. 

> Power and Corruption are thematic here with the villain. 

3. Barbie’s Mariposa

> The Big Thing: This one is about destorying an entire society for personal gain and power. If you’re American, you’d understand why THIS is super relevant. The queen is bring poisoned and is the life source for all the lights, and those lights are what protect faeries from the monsters in the dark. The Big Bad Guy plans to take the throne with these monsters as her minions, promising them they can eat faeries. She will destory this land to gain the throne, and she doesn’t care who dies along the way. 

> Has a Cinderella vibe to it. Good rendition 

> Two First World Entittled rich faries are humbled through the journey, and learn to be king and selfless despite starting with selfish intentions. GROWTH. 

> Skeezite is a funny word. 

> ACCENTS. I think they’re all Spanish, but can’t confirm. The only Barbie movie that didn’t do British Accents, I’m pretty sure. Vocal Diversity is 10/10 

4. Barbie Fairytopia Series 

> The Big Thing: DISABILITY IN A FANTASY WORLD DONE WELL. Like holy shit the plot is the Big Bad is commiting bio-terrorism by poisoning the air that affects all faeries except for Elina because she was born without wings. DISABILITY BECOMING THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU. YES. She does  get wings at the end, but I always saw it as a prostetic because if she lost her necklace she lost her wings. And in a later movie she has to trade them away to save someone. 

> Bibble is valid 

> This series does the “girl who doesn’t fit in” trope well because Elina is constantly seen as the girl who doesn’t fit in. In the first movie she’s the girl without wings, in the second she’s the faerie, not a mermaid (Nori gets mean towards her because the mermaid prince wanted a fairy to save him or someting like that), and in the last one, I’m pretty sure she’s sort of regarded as the charity case. I can’t remember exactly, so don’t quote me. Either way, Elina is the most relateable Barbie character for people who struggle fitting in wherever they go because Elina never fits in at first (but it’s a barbie movie, so you know, acceptance and stuff) 

> This marks the third movie on this list with an assassination attempt for power. Power #Corrupts 

> Good overcoming narrative. Elina survives all her trials towards being accepted in society. 

5. Barbie as the Island Princess

> The Big Thing: This one is tricky because Barbie is a white character, and that is a valid critique for this one. However, the topic is handled well despite this fault due to the movie’s context. This one is about a status quo society and their treatment towards a different “Cultural” upbringing. Ro grew up on an island alone outside of society and talks to animals. She has an entire different set of values and beliefs. Her curiosity sets her off into a populated civilzation and a big part of the movie is the Prince Character making genuine efforts to help her adapt and make her comfortable for what she is used to, and the rest of the society relegating her to a barbarian. She struggles trying to fit in to a society that wants her to adapt to their society, but refuses to make any adaptions to hers. Her not being from there is eventually what saves the day, which is a healthy message that differnet people learn the world differnetly, and these cultures can meet and interact and help each other without forcing one to obliterate itself. Ro doesn’t stay in that society. She goes off sailing with the prince character, a happy medium from her island roots and desire to be around other people. 

> ANOTHER assassination attempt. 

> Big Bad has a daughter she’s trying to marry to the Prince, but the daughter doesn’t love him and is happy that he finds love. she and Ro are friends. 10/10 Women supporting women. 

> Ro’s cultural roots are celebrated a lot. It’s nice! 

> Prince never puts Ro in a corner to change, from what I remember. He guides her through what she’s willing to do, and helps accomidate her with that makes her uncomfortable (sleeps in the greenhouse,for example). 10/10 m8

6. Barbie and the Diamond Castle

> The Big Thing: The catalyst of this movie is Liana and Alexa’s lively hood being destoryed by a storm, and now homeless and jobless, they end up questing with a magic mirror to save Melody and the other trapped Muses. Alexa is hesitant and even gives up to stay in a Lotus Casino type place because there’s food and shelter there. There’s a heavy value on having enough to eat, and having a place to live. Displacement and poverty, I guess is the right word for this. 

> Okay so I heard around that Alexa and Liana are queer coded based on their dress colors in the final scene matching the Lesbian and Bisexual Flag and I stan that because honestly, Barbie need some gay. 

> The Will Sing For Food scene hits differently than any other scene in Barbie Movies. It’s just such a real thing. 

7. Barbie and the Three Musketeers 

> The Big Thing: Sexsim. This one is very on the nose of “women can’t do this.” and then Barbie adn Co proves them wrong!! 

> I am pretty sure there are SEVERAL assasination attempts in this one. 

> “Release the Fireworks!!” is carved into my mind. 

> The Master Trainer is an old lady maid. Cool trope subversion. 

Honestly, people who cry about adult themes in their kids movies need to watch these movies. Did you notice how many ASSASSINATIONS happen in these movies? SO MUCH ASSASSINATION. 

These movies are deeper and more complex than given credit for. I can admit that Barbie’s early movies didn’t do great with racial representation, but we can also praise them for accomplishing their aim of empowering young girls as much as they did. 

I can’t say much for mordern Barbie since that’s not my era. Perhaps someone else can comment about that better than I can. 

TL;DR: Barbie movies deal with adult themes in a child friendly setting and they are well done and you should go watch them and see how much deeper and complex these movies can be. 

A Barbie Movie I DO NOT STAN: Princess and the Pop Star. That movie is “Two whiny girls hate their privlaged life and wish they were someone else’s privlaged life and I guess help the poor” It’s not good. You can enjoy the bops it produced, but that movie is INSANELY Problomatic. 

[sammiexwtf]

DIO Sounds About Right

Hi please enjoy my shitty JJBA fic (You can find it on AO3 and Wattpad with the same name) NSFW

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“Giorno I am so sorry that you haven’t been on good terms with your father practically since your birth, but I am NOT failing this project just because you want to avoid him,” You huffed. The blonde man on your phone screen shot you an annoyed look, which most likely mirrored the one on your own face.

“I don’t know why you’re so damn adamant on staying at my house to finish this project Y/N. I’ve already stayed over at your place countless of times and as a plus you’re closer to the library, we could just walk over when we need to,” Giorno let out a deep sigh as he leaned against his bed frame. “You know how I get when he’s around and since his business trip was cancelled he’ll be here for the whole weekend.”

“Look Gio, I know you try and avoid him as much as possible and I’m not clueless about your feelings towards him,” you mumbled with a small frown. “It’s just that my roommate is planning on using the apartment for one of her ridiculous parties and we’re not going to have any peace for our work if you come over here. Besides, even if your dad is going to be home all weekend you always tell me he locks himself in his study, so it’s not like we’re going to be graced with his presence anyways.”

“Still it’s just the simple thought of being under the same roof as him that’s bothering me. Plus, I don’t think you’ve even met my dad, so you wouldn’t really understand why I’m so against it.”

“You make it sound like he’s some sort of monster, maybe we should start calling him Count Dracula or something.” Your friend snorted at your stupid joke, trying to hide his smile by turning his face away from the screen.”Either way you won’t be completely alone with him if I’m there, and I know you wouldn’t be able to put up with a bunch of drunk college girls trying to get you into their panties.” At your last remark the blonde made a look of disgust and knew that you basically won the argument. If there was one thing that bothered Giorno the most, it was those self proclaimed ‘fans’ of his that were scattered throughout the university that you both attended, your roommate being one of them. Trying to avoid their affections while they were drunk would cause him even more displeasure than usual.

“Fine then. I’ll text you the address.” You couldn’t hide your excitement as you jumped out of bed to start packing your bag. This would be the first time going over to Giorno’s house since you’ve met him, and you weren’t going to waste any time if he decided to change his mind last minute.

“Alright I’ll see you soon then. Bye Giogio!”

“I told you not to call me that!” You playfully stuck your tongue out at the blonde before ending the FaceTime call to finish packing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn’t help but stare wide-eyed at the enormous house before you, flicking your head back and forth between the address Giorno had sent to you and the one plated in gold above the large double set doors. You even asked the boy more than once if he sent you the wrong address by mistake, earning you a barrage of middle finger emojis and obscenities at having to repeat himself over and over. Gingerly you lifted your hand to the doorbell and rang it, hearing the chime as clear as day echo inside. Your eyes shifted above the doorbell and noticed a plaque with the name ‘Brando’ etched across it. The sound of one of the doors opening gained your attention once more as a gorgeous young woman stepped out from them. She was wearing what looked to be a tight fitting maid’s uniform, with long brown hair swept to the side and cascading down one of her shoulders.

“Welcome to the Brando residence,” She said with a polite smile. “How can I help you Miss?”

‘Brando residence?” You thought to yourself. ‘I thought Giorno’s last name was Giovanna?’

“Uh hi...I’m looking for Giorno? I’m not sure if I’m at the right address.” The young woman perked up at Giorno’s name and stepped aside, holding the door open with a warm smile.

“You must be Y/N! Please come inside, Mr.Giovanna is indeed expecting you tonight!” At the confirmation you let out a breath of relief before stepping through the threshold, only to stop at the sight of the marble staircase before you. The house was far from being considered a mansion, but nonetheless did it look like something straight off of one of those celebrity reality shows. You jumped at the sound of the large door closing behind you, forgetting momentarily about the girl as she quickly made her way towards you. “Just give me one moment to go get Mr.Giovanna for you, he was insistent about showing you the house on his own.” All you could do was nod your head as words seem to fail as she hastily made her way up the stairs. You didn’t have time to look around though as Giorno came around from the top of the stairs and smiled down at you.

“This would be the part where I’d say welcome to my humble abode, but there is absolutely nothing humble about this monstrosity, my father made sure of that,” He sneered. He motioned with his hand for you to come up and you quickly began to ascend the stairs. Once you were at the top it didn’t seem as scary as before, but the rest of the home was just as beautiful. You honestly weren’t paying attention to where you were going, you were trying to take in everything at once from the amazing artwork that lined the walls, to ornate furniture, and even taking a moment to look at how pristine the hardwood floors were that you could practically see your face through it. Ok, maybe they weren’t that clean but still.

Before you knew it, you were in Gio’s bedroom as he made his way to his bed and opened his laptop. His bedroom was a simple creme color, a coffee brown bookcase filled with novels and trophies was lined next to a window that reached from the floor to the ceiling. Directly across from his bed was a flatscreen T.V sitting on top of a matching brown dresser. His walls were covered in paintings that looked as if they belonged in an art museum and a map of the world hung above his headboard. You stared down at his bed then, afraid to sit down as you didn’t want to wrinkle the deep purple duvet atop it. It took Gio a moment to realize that you were still standing by the doorway, his eyes following yours as they danced across his room as well before stopping right back at you.

“What?”

“Why am I just finding out now, after 2 years of friendship might I add, that you’re fucking loaded? I mean I knew you came from a family with SOME money but holy shit dude!” You stared into his green eyes, looking for an answer. Only to be met with a smile.

“Well technically I’m not rich. My father is. Hence there was nothing to find out.” You gave the blonde a dirty look, earning a chuckle from him before deciding that the bed was no longer intimidating and sat down on it.

“You know what I meant. I know you said your dad had a busy job, but what does he do to be able to own a house like this? Is he part of the mafia?” This time your question earned you a hearty laugh from your friend and you felt your ears get hot, not liking to be laughed at when you were being serious. You threw your duffle bag at Giorno, only for him to catch it with ease before placing it next to him on the bed. “I’m not trying to be funny Gio! Answer me!”

“First and foremost, you should know the mafia is MY forte, and I probably would respect the man if he actually was a member. It would make getting in a bit more easier.” You snorted at his answer. If you had a dollar for every time the boy mentioned dropping out of school to join the mafia you’d probably be as rich as his father by now. “However, every now and then he gets one as a client, if they’re willing to pay good that is. He’s a lawyer.” You looked around once more and out the open door as the maid walked by carrying a basket full of laundry. If this is what a lawyer could afford, maybe you were studying the wrong major.

“I have one more question.” Gio simply nodded his head for you to continue as he began typing on his laptop, pulling up the notes for the project you were assigned. “Why did that maid say this was the Brando residence? There was a plaque outside too with that name. I thought your last name was Giovanna?”

“It is Giovanna,” he answered without looking up from the computer screen. “That was my mother’s maiden name. My father’s last name is Brando. They were never married.” His curt reply told you that there was definitely more behind the story, but you decided not to press the issue for now and kept any more questions to yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roughly three or four hours had passed since you and Giorno had begun working on your project, satisfied with the work so far you both decided to take a break. The due date wasn’t until a week from now, but this project was for your marine biology class and the professor was known for being a hardass when it came to grading so the sooner you could work on it, the more time you could use to perfect it before it reached him. You tossed your pen onto the bed, cracking your fingers and stretching your arms. Giorno had brought out his espresso machine an hour into the session and was now brewing himself another cup. You honestly never heard of anyone who kept a spare coffee machine in their bedroom, but Giorno mentioned that while he lived in Italy, it apparently was a normal thing. You called bullshit but decided not to break your head over it anymore.

“You sure you don’t want another cup of coffee Y/N?” You covered your mouth to stifle a yawn, wagging your finger at him.

“No thank you, if I drink too much caffeine I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Besides,” You added while hopping off of his bed. “Another cup of anything and I think my bladder will explode. Where’s the closest bathroom in this maze?”

“Down the hallway on the other end of the staircase, turn right.”

“Grazie!” He simply shot you a thumbs up as you made your way out with his, albeit vague, directions. Soon you went down the hallway and passed the stairs. “Alright he said turn right and we should be in business…” As soon as you turned the corner you stopped to see three doors, one on the right side closest to you and two on the left. All three were closed and Giorno hadn’t mentioned there’d be more than one door. “Well...only one way to find out.” Without another thought you naturally went to the single door on the right and opened it without hesitation. Not the brightest idea.

You halted in place, mouth going dry. The door you opened led not to the bathroom but to an older looking study. The three walls in front of you were lined ceiling to floor with bookcases, a small globe in the corner. In the center of it was a large mahogany desk, covered in scattered papers. What made you really stop however was the tall and muscular blond man casually leaning against the desk...with the maid on her knees facing him. The moment you had opened the door he had slowly looked up from the woman to you, not even startled by your intrusion. At first the only sounds you could hear was your own rapid heartbeat echoing in your ears, but now you were focusing on the sounds coming from the maid and noticing how her head was bobbing. A blush began to creep up your neck to your face as it looked like he made no intentions of stopping her either.

“Is there something I can help you with? I’m a bit busy if you couldn’t tell.” His deep voice had wrapped around your mind, slowly dragging you out of your thoughts. It sounded so calm, despite the current situation. You had to basically tear your eyes from the scene in front of you, your face burning more.

“I-I’m so sorry! I was just looking for-” You began to stutter, but he raised a hand stop you mid sentence.

“It’s the door across.” You quickly bowed and practically slammed the door shut, missing the sinful look on the man's face as he watched your retreating form.

You bolted into the room across, thankful this time for it actually being the bathroom as you locked the door letting out a shaky breath. You had no doubt in your mind that you had just met Giorno’s father, and unceremoniously at that.

“What a great first impression,” You thought aloud. You made your way to the sink to run some cool water on your face in hopes of getting your flustered look back to normal. After you were done and completed your original business you just stood at the closed door, you were a bit nervous to step foot outside the bathroom if god forbid HE was to come out at the same time. Unfortunately, god decided to dislike you at this moment as you heard a small knock on the restroom door. “Just a second,” You shakily called out. Deeply hoping it was Giorno wondering what was taking you so long. When you finally had the gall to open the door you were instead met with the sight of the young maid, her hair this time was a bit disheveled and a small pink tint was hinting at her cheeks.

“Hello again Ms. Y/N,” She squeaked out. This time she would not meet your eyes, looking towards the ground instead. “Mr. Brando would like for you to join him in his study for a moment. I will be taking my leave for the evening, please enjoy the rest of your stay.” She bowed and sped away and out of sight, not giving you a chance to apologize about walking in on them. You swept your eyes over the closed door to the study across from you, feeling a cold sweat begin to form on your brow. You inhaled deeply before settling your nerves and walking over. This time you knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

“Come in.” With another deep breath you slowly edged the door open, once again being welcomed by the dimly lit study. This time the man, whom you now knew was in fact Giorno’s father, sat behind his desk patiently, fingertips pressed together right above his wide chest. “I’m glad you learned how to knock this time,” He teased with a grin.

“Trust and believe I learned my lesson, again I want to properly apologize about intruding on...something so private.” You could hear your voice falter under his intense gaze, and he let out a deep chuckle. The sound was so alluring, and you felt your throat beginning to dry.

“That’s quite alright. I wanted us to start over on that first impression. Given the maid explained to me you’re a friend of my son, I didn’t think it appropriate for your first meeting of me to be in the middle of having my cock sucked,” He stated as if he were just talking about a small inconvenience. Your eyes widened at his crudeness and you couldn’t help but blush and look away, positive that you were as red as a cherry now.

“Well then...I appreciate the second chance then Mr. Brando.”

“Dio.”

“I beg your pardon?” You turned your face back to him, now he had his arms resting beside him on the chair. There was an almost playful look in his eyes.

“You can call me Dio. Mr. Brando is far too old for my taste.”

‘Of course his name would be something like Dio...how well it suits him too,’ You thought to yourself.

“Alright then...Dio. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You bowed to formally greet the man, and when you looked back up he was beckoning you with his finger to come forward. You thought about just staying put but in the end began walking towards him. As you got closer, you were able to notice his features more clearly. His vibrant blond hair sat at neck length, small fringes of bangs reaching right about his thick brows. His eyes almost looked cat like, predatory even yet strikingly alluring. You assumed they were a light brown color but with the dim lighting they almost looked red, adding a supernatural aura to him. He was gorgeous, and now you knew where Giorno got his looks from. Once you reached the edge of his desk, he held out his hand for you, almost as if he were asking for a handshake. You reached out your own to reach his, taking notice at how incredibly large his hand was to yours. However he gently wrapped his fingers around your hand and leaned over, placing a warm kiss on your knuckles. The small action immediately sent a wave of heat through your entire body. He looked up at you through hooded eyes, not moving your hand away from his face. Your blush had never left, and the heat began to grow unbearable as you watched his eyes slowly sweep down your face, stopping for a moment at your lips before coming back up to lock once more with your own.

“The pleasure is mine, Ms. Y/N.” His voice dropped to a seductive whisper, the breath from his words ghosting over your knuckles and sending a shiver down your spine. Slowly he slipped his hand from yours, lingering on your fingertips for the briefest of moments before resting it on his thigh. You followed his movements with your eyes, noticing how thick and muscular his thighs were, straining against the fabric of his beige dress pants. Your eyes crept up, landing on the small amount of skin peeking out from his shirt he hadn’t bothered to tuck back in. The white button down seemed to be a second skin, as it clung to every contour and muscle on his body, the first two buttons undone to give you a glimpse of just what lies underneath. Finally, your journey stopped on his lips; deliciously pouty and upturned into one of the most devilish smirks you’d ever seen. “See something you like?” You dragged your eyes up completely to meet his, only to be greeted with an intense gaze that burned through your entire body. He had watched you ogle him shamelessly like a horny school girl, and couldn’t look more proud about it. At that moment the door to the study swung open, snapping you out of your trance.

“I was worried you got lost, looks more like you got trapped.” Giorno’s familiar voice was laced with venom, his face contorted to one of disgust. He stayed at the entrance of the study, holding the door open to allow the light from the hallway to seep through. He was focused solely on Dio, who sat relaxed in his chair unbothered by the angry blonde boy.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise my son.” He emphasized the last two words, earning an eye twitch from the younger. “ I was just introducing myself to your exquisite friend here. I’m quite hurt that you hadn’t introduced me to her sooner.” Giorno simply scoffed at his father’s words.

“Well now that you’ve met, I’d like to have her returned to me now. We have a project to finish.” Giorno then turned his eyes to you, his gaze softening immensely. “Come on Y/N, I ordered us some takeout and it should be here soon so we can get back to work.”

“O-oh. Uh thanks Gio,” You mumbled. Your mind was still in a bit of a haze, but you were beginning to get your bearings. You turned to look at Dio and bowed once more. “It was nice meeting you Mr...I mean Dio. Please have a great rest of your evening.” With that you turned and began high tailing towards the door. Giorno moved back into the hallway as you approached, but before you could close the door that seductive voice reached out to you once more.

“Y/N,” he purred out. Slowly you turned towards him, hand still in the door knob. “If you need anything at all tonight, please do not hesitate to come look for me. You are our guest here and it would be my...” his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, “greatest pleasure to assist you.” You couldn’t help but swallow at the second meaning behind his words. Afraid to hear your own voice you simply nodded your head before softly closing the door behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giorno had interrogated you for a bit on your meeting with Dio, and you lied and told him you simply got curious after finding the bathroom and stumbled upon the study. You could tell he knew you were leaving something out but you would be damned if you actually told him the real way you found his father. After making sure you were ok enough for him and confirming that the man never touched you he dropped the subject and you both went on with the project while enjoying the food he had ordered. At around 1 AM you both agreed on turning in for the night and to continue in the morning. Giorno showed you to the guest room right next to his and bid you goodnight, finally leaving you alone with your thoughts. You laid on top of the bed just staring at the ceiling for a while. No matter how hard you tried, you kept replaying the meeting with Dio over and over again to the point that the memory of the maid slowly morphed and it was now you on your knees in front of him instead of her.

“Get out of my head!” You angrily whispered, not wanting for your friend to hear you through the walls. You glanced at your phone to see the time, ‘1:30 AM’ mocked the bright numbers. You got up from the bed and dug through your duffle bag and pulled out your pajamas. You thought about just changing and forcing yourself to sleep but you felt too warm and wanted a shower. Immediately you thought about going to the one down the hall but your stomach dropped, you did NOT want to run into you know who. “This house is huge, there’s definitely another bathroom somewhere.” You slowly made your way out of the room and into the quiet hallway. You checked the other rooms near yours only to find another guest room and a movie room, which you knew you were going to beg Giorno to set up a movie night after all of this. You walked down the hall and stopped at the stairs, looking at the hallway across from you where you knew the bathroom was.

“Maybe he’s not there anymore and went to bed?” You said to yourself. You shook your head and continued on your mission of finding another bathroom and descended down the stairs, you weren’t going to take any chances. Finally after finding the kitchen, two more guest rooms and a billiards room, you found a second bathroom. It was smaller and less ornate than the one up stairs but it was still a decent size and had a stand up shower. You mentally cheered before placing down your items and quickly began stripping. Soon you were in the shower letting the cool water bounce across your skin, feeling the tension in your body slowly melt away. Occasionally your mind would wander onto the relationship Giorno had with his father, yes the man was indeed intimidating and there was something below the surface of that beautiful face that felt a bit dangerous, but there was nothing else that struck out to you as to why your friend couldn’t stand him. He’s told you about how egotistical the man is and how they always lived on edge of a fight, but never actually gave you hard proof or reasons for the intense dislike. Giorno had told you about his mother and how a complete bitch she was while he was growing up and everything she had put him through so you understood his feelings towards her completely. Eventually she dumped him off onto Dio one day and just disappeared from his life, ‘good riddance’ he had told you. Yet the mechanics of his relationship with his father was still kept a mystery to you and he would close up about it if you started asking too many questions. The only answer you’ve gotten so far was that they shared a difference in morals, and that was it.

After a good while you finished your shower and started to dry off. You felt as if a thousand weights were lifted from your shoulders and quickly put the events of the evening to the back of your mind, finally feeling sleepy. You began to get dressed but noticed something odd. You could have sworn you brought a clean pair of underwear to change into along with your pajamas. You looked around the bathroom floor to see if maybe it had fallen but found nothing.

“Maybe I left them in the bag by accident?” You shrugged your shoulders and just decided to just slip on your night shorts without underwear , you’d put some on when you got back to your room. You opted for a simple tank top as well to complete the look, your body was still a bit wet so the shirt became damp making the material a bit see through. You didn’t really care much, not like you were going to run into anybody like this..

You made your way out of the bathroom, the air inside the house suddenly felt a lot more colder and you began to shiver. Scurrying your way through the first floor you finally made it back to the stairs and started to climb them. You hadn’t noticed the extra pair of footsteps walking the hall until you were half way up, stopping completely in your tracks and if you hadn’t met him tonight the sight before you would’ve been a terrifying one. Dio stood at the top of the stairs, his back facing the little bit of light from the hall so all you could really see was the outline of his body, his face was completely hidden in the shadows. It felt like you were looking at a ghost and not a man.

“What a coincidence, I was just on my way down to look for you, Ms. Y/N..” His voice was as smooth as ever, but you noticed there was something else there that you couldn’t quite pick up on. “What on earth are you doing up at this hour?” You were feeling a bit uneasy with how calm he sounded, and the fact that you couldn’t see his face was making it worse.

“I was just taking a bath..” You answered meekly, your throat feeling tight.

“And why would you go through the trouble of going all the way down there? You already know there’s one upstairs.”

‘ Because I didn’t want to run into like I just did now.’ You thought to yourself. You swallowed hard before answering.

“I-I didn’t want to disturb you in case you were asleep.”

“Aren’t you the thoughtful one.” He let out a chuckle. “No matter, I actually was looking for you to see if you forgot something.”

“Not that I know of..why?” You wanted for this conversation to be over already, the tension that you had just showered away crawling right back to you. Dio let out another chuckle, this one sounded a bit huskier. He didn’t say anything but lifted his hand out to the side, and your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. In his hand were your missing panties, where as he was still in the shadows they were illuminated VERY clearly in the light. You felt your embarrassment multiply as he laughed at your reaction.

“I found them on the floor up here by the stairs and figured they were yours, unless Giorno has changed his sense of fashion recently which I doubt considering he’s never liked polka dots to begin with. Then again I’m not one to judge.” You could hear the teasing tone in his voice and you couldn’t help but laugh nervously at his joke.

“This is just outright embarrassing, but thank you for trying to return them to me.” You kept mentally cursing to yourself about this whole situation, and how this happened in the first place; you should’ve just let Giorno come to your apartment to study like he wanted from the beginning. You began climbing the stairs to retrieve your underwear from the blond, but as soon as you reached the last step he took one step back just out of your reach. You furrowed your brows and stepped forward again, and once more he took another step back. “Um...what are you doing?”

“Playing your game, Ms. Y/N.” You rose a brow in confusion, you were honestly getting annoyed now.

“What game?” He let out a ‘hmph’ before turning around and walking down the hall, still dangling your underwear over his shoulder for you to see. “Hey!” You shouted and followed after him as he disappeared around the corner, once you reached it you stopped to see the door to his study was wide open. You made your way over and stood in front of the open door, on top of his desk were your panties, but Dio was nowhere in sight.

‘ I would have to be a complete idiot not to realize this is a trap.’ You stayed in place, just staring at the underwear that was mocking you. He had to be somewhere in there, but the dim lighting made it hard to see into the small shadows in the corner of the room, and the light from the hallway wasn’t helping much either. You contemplated just leaving them there, it wasn’t like you had no more underwear at home, but deep down you wanted to see what would happen and the moment that thought crossed your mind you felt a warm sensation through your body. Your fantasy was getting the better of you and before you realized it you were walking towards the desk. You reached the desk and still no sign of the man, so you reached out to grab your underwear without hesitating.

*Click*

The light from the hallway completely disappeared as the door was closed, you didn’t turn around but you could feel someone staring at you from behind. His footsteps echoed in the room, surprised that you could even hear them over the sound of your own heartbeat blaring in your ears. He stopped right behind you, his chest practically pressed against your back. A large hand reached out from behind you and took hold of the clothes that you were still clutching in your hands before tossing them to the side. Once more the hand came into your line of vision and tenderly cupped your face and turned it to the side to meet Dio’s hot gaze. His hand was cold in comparison to your hot face as he slowly traced circles on your bottom lip with his thumb. He bent his head down to your ear, pressing you against his body in the process and feeling his hardness rub against your ass. You let out a gasp, earning you a chuckle from the large man, his warm breath tickling your ear.

“I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you, that you’d be a special treat.” His voice felt like velvet as he whispered into your ear, the sound along with his breath was beginning to make your body betray you as each word he whispered sent a throbbing heat to your core. He kissed the spot right behind your ear, slowly ghosting his lips across your jaw, then your cheek before hungrily taking your own lips with his. His lips were softer than they looked as they caressed your own, earning a moan from you. Dio took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You should’ve pushed him away, bit his tongue, elbowed him to make a run for it or something instead of just giving in. His other hand had wrapped around your waist, but was now moving up and under your tank top grabbing a hold of your right breast and massaging it. Dio finally pulled away from the kiss and aside from the lustful look on his face he seemed unaffected, unlike you who was a panting red faced mess.

“We shouldn-'' Was all you were able to breath out before he pinched your nipple hard eliciting another moan from you as he began rubbing the sensitive bud between his fingers.

“Your voice sounds so sweet when you moan for me Y/N, I want more of it.” His other hand left your face as it travelled to the waistband of your shorts before slipping through easily, running a long thick finger across your slit. Your hips on their own accord bucked at the sensation, making Dio laugh darkly. “My, my, all I did was kiss you and you’re already so wet. You’re a very filthy girl aren’t you Y/N?” You turned your face away from him and bit your lip to hold back another moan as he slipped his finger inside you and began pumping it slowly. Your knees began to buckle from underneath you, so Dio pushed you both forward effectively pinning your legs between him and the desk to stop you from falling.

“I can’t do this,” You whined to him. “Your Giorno’s father..” You squeezed your eyes shut in pain as he added two more fingers and began pumping at an obscene pace, not allowing you to stretch around them first.

“I’m well aware of who I am to that boy.” He answered gruffly.The hand that was on your breast moved and was cupping your face a bit more rough than before, his fingers now hitting your sweet spot causing your breath to stop in your throat. “I’m also aware about his feelings for you and how blissfully ignorant you are to them. Which makes this so much more sweeter for me.” He kissed you again, this time more feverishly. As he pulled away again he withdrew his fingers from your heat at the same moment, leaving you feeling empty. That feeling was short lived however as he pushed you down onto the desk, your chest was completely pressed against it making your ass push out towards him. Dio pulled your shorts down to your ankles, the cold air rushing to your wet core making you shiver. You could hear him unzipping his pants and the ruffling of clothing, before you felt the tip of his dick tease against your entrance. Slowly he inched it into you, stretching out your hole. It had not hurt as much as you thought it would but there was a dull pain nonetheless from how big he was. You’ve had partners before so you were by no means a virgin, but you’d be damned if you had anybody with his size.

“Such a nice and tight cunt you have my dear Y/N. I can’t wait to ruin it.” Without wasting another moment he gripped your hips with both hands as he began to fuck you roughly, the lewd sound of his skin slapping against yours were drowned out by your loud moans. His chest was pressed firmly against your back, his head right next to your ear and you could hear every groan and grunt that escaped his lips. “I wish you could see the look on your face right now,” He panted into your ear, not once stopping his relentless pace. “Such a dirty look for a dirty girl.” You had no response, the only thing falling from your mouth being your own incoherent screams and moans. Soon you felt a hot pressure beginning to build, each thrust bringing you closer to your edge.

“Dio please!” You couldn’t recognize your voice, it sounded so hoarse and needy. He took notice and snaked a hand down between your legs, pressing a finger onto your clit but not moving it.

“Please what, my dear Y/N?” He began to slow his pace, getting you on the verge of tears as you felt the pressure begin to fade. “I want to hear you beg for it.” You tried to bring your hips to meet his but he only pulled farther away. Finally you gave in.

“Make me cum from your cock Dio, please!” Satisfied he picked up his pace, slamming into you as he began rubbing your clit in tight circles. The pressure began building up again causing your vision to go in and out.

“I want you to scream my name when you cum. Be a good little girl for me.” His voice is what sent you over the edge as his name ripped from your throat as you orgasmed. As you came your core squeezed around him, bringing him close to his. He pulled out with a final groan as he emptied his load onto your ass. As your high began to die down, you felt the pain on your thighs from being pounded into the desk. You were going to have bruises tomorrow for sure. Slowly Dio lifted himself from on top of you, lifting you off of the desk as well. “I apologize, but it seems I may have made a bit of a mess on you.” His breathing was back to normal, but when you turned around you looked down and nearly choked. He was still as hard as a rock. “Why don’t I join you for a another shower, Ms. Y/N?” The devilish look on his face was enough to tell you that your little romp was far from over.

[evils-corner]

LUIGI'S MANSION 3 HEADCANONS

There's a lot of headcanons I have for everyone sosnsjsnsn so enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~

General ghost headcanons

Ghosts don't technically NEED TO eat and sleep, but a lot of them do both anyways because it's a pleasant experience, and a lot of them never stopped those habits after they died.

Ghosts can make themselves solid and transparent as they like; meaning they can make themselves solid to interact with objects and people (like Luigi), but can also make themselves transparent to go through walls, people, etc.

Not all ghosts are people who died - some ghosts are born that way. Portrait Ghosts/Boss Ghosts however ARE people who died.

Ghosts curl their tails together as a sign of affection, akin to holding hands.

Ghosts can change their bodies a little bit, like extending limbs, etc. Some ghosts (like Morty....mostly just him) like to change their tails into legs from time to time!

---------

Hotel Staff

The hotel was functional before the events of the game, and served as a hotel for ghosts. The staffing was the same (i.e. all of the portrait ghosts were there) as well as some of the Goobs and other ghosts working for the hotel.

Even though they're ghosts and don't technically NEED TO rest or anything, the staff still have an end to their work days to sleep and do as they'd like...but they still have to work LONG days.

On the second floor on the left side of the hallway, there's a door that leads to a hallway containing a set of rooms for the hotel staff to stay in, since they all live there.

---------

 Steward

He died in the 1940s at the age of 25, working as a bellboy - he lost control of a trolley of luggage and fell down a flight of stairs, snapped his spine, and was smothered/suffocated under the luggage when it fell on top of him.

He has nightmares sometimes about his death.

He overworks himself to please Hellen because he MUST Be A Good Worker. He does the jobs of at least three people all at once and is constantly moving.

He's very anxious and is prone to having anxiety attacks.....about work and just life in general.

He's trans and gay and is dating Kruller!

---------

 Chambrea

Chambrea was murdered in the 1940s on her way home from work one evening, by an unknown man. She was 36.

She's a HUGE Gossip, and she loves to listen in on people's conversations to get the Tea. She's known to spread rumors and not have all the facts though...so take her gossip with a grain of salt.

She has a HUGE crush on Johnny Deepend. (She's into very toned guys.)

---------

 Kruller

Kruller died in the 1980s at 42 years old, from a heart attack while running around on the job. He had high blood pressure and high cholesterol from poor diet his whole life that led to the heart attack.

He feels much more confident with his sunglasses on.

He wears glasses when he's off the clock. Poor guy can't see without them! His sunglasses are prescription too.

He LOVES board games!

He's really nervous and easily flustered! He tries really hard to be tough, but in the end he can't do it because he's just a really sweet guy.

He falls asleep on the job a lot.

He's Bi and loves his boyfriend Steward!

He's best friends with Morty and DJ Phantasmagloria!

---------

Chef Soulfflé

Soulfflé died in the early 1910s after getting locked in the freezer overnight of the kitchen he worked at. He was 51.

He thinks all of the food he made is Top of the Line, and he WILL get angry if you say otherwise.

---------

 Amadeus Wolfgeist

Amadeus died in the late 1700s from an aneurysm brought on by his temper after a performance. He was 49 years old.

He sleeps in his piano more often than in his room in the hotel. He prefers solitude and doesn't like being around the others. Most of his free time IS spent alone in his theater or dressing room.

He has a BIG sweet tooth and can't resist sweets....especially donuts!

He doesn't like DJ Phantasmagloria's music.

---------

 King MacFrights

Died in the mid 1300s at the age of 41 in battle, when he took a Lance to the chest and was impaled.

He's very sensitive about his height and he will get VERY angry if you comment on it at all.

---------

 Dr. Potter

Died in the late 1970s from old age at 85.

He was a recluse and took care of dozens upon dozens of plants all at once and he loved every one of them dearly.

He sweet talked his plants and would Hum to them softly as he made his way through his gardens.

He names every single one of his plants!

---------

Morty

Morty died in 1972 at 37 years old, when a stage light fell on him after he uttered the word "Macbeth" in the theater. He didn't believe the superstition.

His real name is Mortimer, but he prefers Morty. Don't ever call him Mort he will Kill You (unless You're Kruller. He's the only friend who's allowed to call him that)

Morty was an actor as well as a director when he was alive and performed in theater, plays, musicals, etc as well as on film.

He was fluent in a handful of languages including English, French, and Italian. 

He has a wonderful singing voice and also performed in an opera or two!

After he died Morty continued to haunt the theater he died in for a good decade at least. Mostly he spent his time moping about and crying in the theater, upset over his death.....the locals began to tell stories of the Weeping Ghost that haunted the theater, and his death became a sort of joke - the man who died because of a superstition and now spent his days crying about it. Morty did NOT like that and that just made him ANGRIER.

Eventually he got fed up with that place and in a fit of rage absolutely trashed the place before leaving to find a new place to live, coming upon the Hotel and being given a job there by Hellen.

He's got a big gay crush on Luigi let's be real here guys. They're dating!

He has a fainting couch in the studio that he'll throw himself onto while wailing....he's a big drama king after all!

---------

Ug

Ug was trampled to death and then eaten by a T-rex, around 30 years old.

He doesn't understand anything going on in the rest of the hotel and is prone to destroying everything he sees, so he just stays in the museum.

Thog Ug don't care.

---------

Clem

Clem died in the 1960s due to exposure from the various toxins, diseases, etc. In the sewers where he worked. He was about 28 years old.

He has a rubby ducky collection!

He collects things that people drop down the drains/that end up in the sewers with him, and will bring them back up to be found and collected.

He's dating that weird mop with a face drawn onto it. It's been a steady three year relationship so far.

---------

Serpci

Serpci died around 2000 BC~ at the age of 31, being sacrificed to the Gods. She was the reigning queen at the time, and gave herself up to the Gods for a better afterlife, as well as to help her people flourish.

She's very attentive to how she looks and dresses; a queen such as herself must always look the part, you know.

She's intrigued by all of the new technology and things around the hotel, and enjoys going from floor to floor, learning about it all. Though she does get a bit scared of things like movies, DJ Phantasmagloria's music, etc...

She's a lesbian and is dating DJ Phantasmagloria!

---------

Nikki, Ginny, Lindsey

The triplets died at the age of 12 when a magic trick misfired, and caused the building they were performing in to catch fire and burn to the ground, in the early 1980s.

Ginny is the oldest, Lindsey is the middle child, and Nikki is the youngest.

They like to switch and change hairstyles to confuse others as to which triplet is which!

They think all love and romance and affection between the adults is GROSS!!

The three of them will flock to Chambrea when in need of comfort....the maid is almost like a pseudo-guardian to the three girls, and reminds them of their mom.

---------

Captain Fishhook

Died in the late 1600s during a conflict between his pirate ship, and a band of soldiers. He was shot in the chest and fell overboard, only to be ripped apart by a shark.

The shark however did not survive attempting to eat the captain and died as well.

He very much likes how he looks now and thinks he's a lot more intimidating than he ever was when he was alive!!!

Despite the fact that he thinks and acts like a human, he has an animalistic side as well and sometimes succumbs to those instincts.

---------

Johnny Deepend

He died at the age of 26 around the 1980s, when his swimming trunks got caught on the drain of a pool and he drowned.

He's very cocky and confident about his looks and he loves to show off his muscles.

He's a bit of an asshole......he's just a straight fuck boy, honestly.

He knows Chambrea's head over heels for him, but she isn't his.....type. Not thin or young or pretty enough for him.

---------

DJ Phantasmagloria

She died in the 1970s after overdosing on ecstasy, when she was 29 years old.

She's self conscious of her actual hair and doesn't like it all that much, which is a big reason as to why she wears wigs all the time.

DJ Phantasmagloria is her stage name! When she's not performing, she just goes by Gloria.

She tends to call people "baby" and "sweetheart" as friendly pet names.

She's dating Serpci and is very.....very gay for her gorgeous girlfriend!!

She really enjoys Amadeus' music, even if he doesn't like hers. She understands! She loves listening to him perform.

---------

Hellen Gravely

She killed herself in the 1930s at the age of 43.

She was a model for a period of time before her death. She didn't become the owner of the hotel until she'd already been dead for a few years, but it had been an ambition of hers in her life.

She HATED how she looked as she started to get older, and layered on the makeup to make herself look young and pretty again.

[sheps-shepherd]

Title: Dizzying Dynamics

Pairing: Mikleo/Sorey; Mikleo & Sorey

Rating: T (for non-graphic mentions of death/dying)

Written for SorMik Week 2020 Day 1: Waxing Crescent - Declaration; Commitment / Rigel - Benevolence; Happiness

*Reposted because Tumblr messed up my formatting so badly I just decided to redo it all.

A/N: This is my first time doing any kind of fandom week in three years so of course all the plans I had for it fell through, hence why this is being posted at the very last minute of the first day. I'm not the happiest with how this came out but it's fluffy and what more can any of us ask for.

All of my works for SorMik Week 2020 will take place in this same AU, which has its own story that I wanted to post before these and still haven't finished. It's a BBC Merlin AU, and all you really need to know is this: magic is banned in this world, Mikleo was born with magic, and Sorey is the sunshine prince we all love and deserve. Other necessary world-building happens within each work itself.

Enjoy!

Read on AO3

---

Mikleo was getting used to life in Camlann. Slowly but surely. 

When his mother had first told him about the arrangements she’d made for him to come live in the capitol, he’d expected to spend a majority of his time with the grandfather he barely remembered in the medical wing of the castle, studying the basics of being a physician by day and honing his magic under the cover of night. He’d expected to spend his days reading, picking herbs, and learning how to properly make various medicines and remedies. Which was okay with him; Mikleo liked to learn, and these types of things were good to learn, and when he went home to Elysia maybe he could put it to use and be more than just the quiet village boy with the magical secret he couldn’t tell anybody.

As it turned out, living in Camlann was nothing like that. Mikleo honestly should have known better, especially when he ended his first week by saving the crown prince’s life and agreeing to take up the mantle as his manservant. 

“Which is a completely glorified title, by the way,” Sorey had told him, on his first official day with his new title, when Sorey had come to get him before he could start worrying about what he was meant to do. “All the things you’re technically supposed to be doing, I’m capable of doing myself. And I don’t mind doing them either. That’s why I always told Arthur I never needed one.”

“What am I supposed to be doing then?” Mikleo had asked, and Sorey had smiled at him like that was the funniest question he’d ever been asked. 

“Stopping wannabe assassins from killing me, apparently,” he’d responded, in a tone that was definitely way too bright and cheerful for the words they’d been paired with. Mikleo had found out right then and there - Sorey Collbrande-Crowe was fearlessly and unapologetically optimistic. 

If Mikleo was being honest, it was rather refreshing to be around someone like that. 

He spent most of his time with Sorey after that first week. When Sorey was in meetings or off wherever his princely duties took him, Mikleo was out doing all the things he originally expected to be doing. The times in between were spent wandering the castle and getting into absolutely everything they could find. 

They spread out maps across the large table in the drawing room. They snuck cooling pies off the windowsills in the kitchens. They read all kinds of things in the library: history books to fables and fairytales to preserved journals. But Mikleo’s favorite times were the nights they holed up in Sorey’s room, with books or treats or stories to share. 

Despite the odd circumstances that got them to this point, they became friends. Genuine friends. The prince-and-technically-servant dynamic didn’t exist. 

But the prince-and-secret-sorcerer one certainly did. To Mikleo, at least. The magic in his blood always seemed harder to ignore whenever he was in Sorey’s presence, a glaring reminder of the impassable space that stretched between them. 

He was lying next to Sorey in the prince’s bed, propped up on pillows with one of the larger history books opened between them, his arm pressed warmly against Sorey’s when the thought hit him - that maybe he was in way too deep, and it had only been a few months. 

Sorey was still the crown prince. Artorius was still his father who hated all things magic. Mikleo had long since given up his avoid the royal family at all costs plan, but falling asleep in the prince’s bed was definitely too far. Risky things like that would put him on the king’s radar, and if Artorius found out- If Sorey found out- 

But we’re already here, Mikleo considered, one afternoon spent watching Sorey scribble away, annotating tomes in the library. This will just be where we stop. No farther. No problems. There was no reason he and Sorey couldn’t be friends; Mikleo just had to tread a little more carefully moving forward. Simple. Even his magic seemed satisfied with that plan, glowing in his chest when Sorey peeked up from his work and smiled at him, and Mikleo smiled back. 

And then the second assassination attempt had happened. And Mikleo had saved Sorey again. And then Sorey had saved Mikleo. And Mikleo spent the days recovering from being poisoned by staring up at his bedroom ceiling and wondering how the hell he ended up here. 

Some destiny this turned out to be. 

“Hello? Anybody home in there?” 

Mikleo blinked his reverie away, turning his head to see Sorey standing there, dressed to the nines in his street clothes, head cocked with a curious look on his face. He beamed when Mikleo focused in on him. 

“There you are! You spaced out on me.” 

“Oh.” Mikleo gave his head a shake, as if clearing the last of the thoughts away. “Sorry about that.” 

“Go somewhere good?” Sorey asked, nudging Mikleo over a step so they were back on the cobblestone road. Mikleo hadn’t even noticed he’d pulled them off. “Or is this a side effect of poison recovery that you didn’t tell me about?” 

“Sorey, I��m fine. Just a little tired. Stop blaming everything on my recovery.” 

“Just checking,” Sorey sang before taking a bite out of his apple - which him grabbing from the kitchen as they left had sparked their usual argument of: “That’s not breakfast.” “It totally counts as breakfast.” 

Sorey was impossible, in the most endearing way. 

“But,” the prince continued after swallowing his bite, “if you are fine, that means you shouldn’t have any problem making good on our deal today. Sure you don’t want to change your answer?” 

Mikleo rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you don’t have anything better to do with your day then talk about poison?” 

“Nope!” Sorey grinned around another crunch of his apple. “Already checked with Arthur. He actually thinks it’s a great idea that I do some research about this kind of stuff.” 

“It is a good idea,” Mikleo agreed. “You were bound to have one sooner or later.” 

“You wound me, Mikleo.” Sorey clutched at his shirt, and Mikleo rolled his eyes again at his dramatics. 

Impossibly endearing. And maybe the slightest bit mortifying, too. 

“I’d guess most people wouldn’t be so excited to research different kinds of poisons,” Mikleo mused as they stepped off the castle road and headed into the Lower Town. They fell in step beside each other, their arms brushing as they walked, assuring they didn’t lose each other in the morning rush of townspeople. “A bit morbid, don’t you think?” 

Sorey shrugged. “Maybe. But I’m not like most people.” He gave Mikleo a cheeky grin. “What’s your excuse, huh?” 

I’m not like most people, either.

“Gramps doesn’t like to leave things half-done,” Mikleo said aloud. “It’s something I need to know as a physician.” 

“But shouldn’t it be something I need to know as the you-know-what? Why isn’t that something Arthur had me studying already?” 

“That’s what physicians are for.” Mikleo was quiet for a moment, then carefully bumped his shoulder against the other’s. “That’s what I’m for. I have to be doing something as your manservant.” 

Sorey chuckled, but the light in his eyes was dimmed as he looked over. “I know,” he said softly, and Mikleo could just barely hear him over the dull roar of people. “But you got hurt because I didn’t know better, and I’m not okay with that.” 

“Sorey, you saved me-“

“You wouldn’t have needed saving if I had known in the first place.” 

“You are not the reason I was poisoned,” Mikleo insisted. “The maid who put the poison in your drink is the reason.” He crossed his arms. “And again, you saved me by going out and getting what Gramps needed to make the antidote. So we’re both still here and we’re both fine. We’re even.” 

“Are not.” Sorey chewed another bite of apple. “We’re two-to-one. Or have you forgotten about saving my life when we first met?” 

Mikleo rolled his eyes again, but couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Of course not.” But as far as Mikleo was concerned, that was a debt Sorey had already paid back in full. 

He didn’t admit it out loud, but Sorey must have read something in his expression, because he smiled and gave Mikleo a nudge of his own. 

“Guess we’re just gonna have to keep saving each other and see where we end up, huh?”

“Yeah,” Mikleo murmured. “I guess so.” 

Sorey suddenly wrapped his arm around Mikleo’s shoulders and tugged him into his side. He blinked as he found himself pressed against the prince’s chest, his hand coming up to steady himself so he wouldn’t completely crash into the other. His hand landed at the center of Sorey’s chest, right where he had grasped it a moment ago. 

He tipped his head back, knowing his face was probably bright red but also ready to demand just what Sorey thought he was doing. Then the group of children came hurtling by, practically trampling over one another as they raced down the cobble, calling out hello’s to Sorey as they ran along. 

“Be careful, guys!” Sorey called back. “Watch where you’re going! Don’t run anybody over, I can’t save ‘em all!” 

The children laughed but didn’t show any signs of slowing down. The little boy bringing up the rear of the group bounded past them. 

“I got them, Sorey!” he exclaimed. “Don’t worry!” 

“Thanks, Videl. I’m counting on you.” Sorey tossed his half-eaten apple at the boy, who caught it gleefully. “Say hi to your mom for me, yeah?” 

“Okay! Bye, Sorey!” Videl took a large bite of the apple and turned around to chase after his friends. 

It wasn’t until Sorey was pulling away that Mikleo realized he hadn’t even thought about trying to pull away himself, which he certainly could have done once the crowd of children had passed. The realization made his face grow even warmer. Sorey’s hand staying between his shoulder blades definitely didn’t help.

“You good?” Sorey asked, taking a half-step forward to see Mikleo’s face. “Still have all your toes?” 

“Ah.” Mikleo cleared his throat. “Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.” 

Sorey studied him thoughtfully. The sun was behind him in the sky, silhouetting his messy hair and casting odd shadows across his face, but Mikleo could make out smears of pink across the apples of his cheeks from the heat. He hoped Sorey chalked the redness on his own face up to that, and not to poison recovery or other things. 

The beaming grin that broke out across Sorey’s face surprised him. But really, he shouldn’t have expected otherwise. 

“I believe that evens our score then,” the prince chirped. “Two for you and two for me.” 

“Evens our-?” Mikleo sputtered petulantly. “You did not save my life from a group of children.” 

“And have you ever been bowled over by a bunch of kids on the run before? Because trust me, Mikleo, it is not fun.” 

“Why am I not surprised you got yourself into something like that?” 

“Hey, be nice about it! I had bruises for weeks!” 

They bickered back and forth as they headed down the road again, continuing their walk through the town. There were no more clusters of rambunctious children trying to barrel through them, but Sorey still kept his hand on Mikleo’s upper back, fingers hooked comfortably around his shoulder. And Mikleo let him, telling himself it was because their playful banter was distracting him and nothing more. The magic fizzling beneath his skin made sure to let him know he wasn’t fooling anyone. 

Living in Camlann was absolutely nothing like Mikleo had expected it to be. 

But he was in way too deep to do anything about it now, so he might as well enjoy it. 

[panickinganakin]

seven vs two

A/N: Here is chapter two! This is just reader learning more about the force and about what she’ll be doing. You can read chapter one here I think we are gonna call this fic Restoring Balance. I’ve also decided to upload to Wattpad. Yikes. Star Wars is taking over my life. Blah blah, I know I’ll shut up now.

warnings: Nothing extreme, just a bit of harsh language, reader passes out as well. angst and anger. internal violence nothing absolutely awful.

word count: 1692

chapter one

Your eyes fluttered opened, anxiety spiking when the white walls surrounding you replaced your blurry vision. You gripped the black sheets you were laying on, remembering where you were and what was happening.

The previous night was your first with Kylo. He taught the basic idea of the force; what it does, what it is and how to control the first steps. “Training will not be easy, it will be stressful and there will be many sleepless nights,” he told you the night before.

You rubbed your eyes, raising up. Kylo had been kind enough to prepare your own bed in a room close to his, still not trusting you, you deducted.

Your life was more than confusing now. Normally, at this time you would be sweeping living quarters and fluffing pillows. Now, you were on your way to becoming a Sith, as Kylo titled it.

“Change, and come to the outer room. We have even more to do today than yesterday.” His voice boomed, how did he know you were awake already?

“Yes, Commander,” you called not skipping a beat to his orders. After much consideration you thought have a semi-powerful position would be better than scrubbing a shitter.

When you made your way into the open area where you had spent many hours the previous night, he was already sitting in the floor, his legs crossed. It was strange, seeing the commander without his mask, but it was nice, you thought. Regretting it immediately, it was hard to remember the commander could read your thoughts.

“Master Ren,” he corrected. Shit, he did read your thoughts.

“W-what?” Your voice held the confusion that clouded your brain.

“You will call me Master Ren, because I’m training you in the force. Others call me commander.”

You nodded, sitting down in front of the man. All of it still felt like a fever dream. You found him to be a lot nicer than you remembered. Maybe it was because you could be an asset, not because he was nice.

“Don’t think me nice? I’m not. I’m a murderer. And you will be too. Now, shut your mind down or you won’t learn anything. We have to show Snoke that you have potential. I’m giving you an opportunity to advance above your station, if you prove me foolish I— will— terminate you.” His voice seemed confident and steady, you decided then that maybe he wasn’t nice.

Shut up, you told yourself.

“Now, to continue where we left off previously... You will feel pulls, the dark, the light, the balance.. Jedis only care about the light. They feel nothing, no love, anger, any emotions. They train you to be droids basically. The rebellion is childish and the resistance will be ended. You agree, Y/N?” His face was like stone, no emotion whatsoever was being given off.

“Of course, it’s all I’ve ever been taught.” You answered honestly. From a young age you’ve always had ‘Rebel Scum’ drilled into your skull.

“No, it’s not about what you learn. I learned to be a Jedi, I decided to do what was right- to leave. You will be faced with choices, your instinct will be to go with your heart. Always feel the anger within you.”

“Comman— Sorry, Master Ren, I don’t feel any anger.” You felt truthful saying this, you had nothing to be angry for. Your life was just that- the way it was.

“Don’t lie to me,” his jaw was clenched and he was becoming angry himself. “The First Order kidnapped you when you were a youngling, they killed your mother right before your eyes. You were placed on a ship, given absolutely no option to leave! You fold sheets for fucks sake and you aren’t angry? You’re foolish if you think you can sit here and lie to me!” He was up now, pacing around you.

You felt a wave emotions engulf you. You were angry, you had just suppressed it for so many years. You were also scared. Scared of the red blade that was crackling beside you as Kylo stabbed it into the ground.

You were on your feet, scrambling for the door. The control panel wasn’t showing any sign of life as you clawed at it. No one in and no one out his voice from yesterday’s altercation in the medic room pounced in your head. It was useless, you couldn’t get out and no one was coming to help you.

You turned around, fists clenched, “Don’t treat me like that!” You weren’t sure what had come over you, a hand flew to your mouth the moment you said it, instant regret.

“Then stop acting like everything you’ve had to live through doesn’t rage you to your deepest core!” He was shouting, why was he doing this? He was making you angry! It hit you, this was the point, he was pulling the rage out of you.

You would label yourself a calm person, normally, but as you stood here with this man screaming at you, your blood began to boil. You closed your eyes, seeing your mother’s soft blonde hair and blue eyes. You seen your life in the sand, when it was good, before they ruined it.

Your fists were tightened, the table in the center was shaking, you could hear it. “Yes! Focus!”

You were scared to open your eyes, but you wanted to see what happened. You looked over, the table was floating in the air, after a few seconds it dropped. Not long after you felt body tighten as if it were a rubber band being wound, then as if someone let the band go, you fell to the ground.

You felt as if you were floating, no, you were floating. The stars were surrounding you, images of passing TIE fighters and various other spacecrafts. As you laid there, floating in the galaxy, you seen a man. He had long wavy hair, it was a blond dishwater color. A scar trailing down his face. “Fight back, don’t give in!” He shouted.

You gasped, raising up quickly. Kylo’s hand pushing your head back down to his leg. He had you propped up on his thigh, holding a towel to your head. “That will get easier, controlling it. You won’t pass out anymore.”

You shoved his arm away you and scuttled to the side, “Why did you do that?” You pulled you legs to your chest, fearing the sob that was threatening your throat. “Why would say those things? What did I do?”

“I told you, you have to feel your anger. You lied and said you felt nothing, I simply aided you. This isn’t a pity party, it’s the First Order. Get up, and try again.” Kylo ordered.

You looked up at him, his mouth was twitching, he looked irritated. You felt bad for shoving him away, he was after all, being kind of enough to soothe her. “I-I’m Sorry, thank you- for helping.”

“Stop. Get up, the last emotion you should be reaching for is peace. You won’t find companionship here,” he was on his feet, straightening up the table.

He left the room, coming back immediately holding stones. He placed them evenly on the table, “Try again, up.” He ordered once more.

You stood, rubbing your forearm. “Yes, Master Ren.”

Many hours passed by with you floating rocks and tables, Kylo yelling and you passing out once more. Your body felt drained, you had never been this tired before. You were changing into a dress robe for sleeping that was placed here the night before. “Dinner,” Kylo said entering the room.

You jumped back, clutching your chest. “Don’t sneak up on me.”

A grin crept on Kylo’s face but left as quickly as it came. “Join me? In the main quarters?”

You nodded and watched as he left. You finished pulling on the dress and sighed. 48 hours ago you were in the cafeteria, eating with other maids and now— Kylo Ren had requested you for dinner. Things were, very odd.

“Eat,” he ordered pointing at one of the plates on the table. The meals looked fine enough, regular cafeteria food. Rolls, meats and veggies.

“Yes, Master Ren,” you sat in front of the table, reaching for the utensils.

“What are you feeling?” He asked, stuffing food into his mouth.

“Can’t you read my thoughts?” You laughed lightly then looked down, deciding he was more than likely not the joking type. “I feel- uh- weird? It still feels like most of this is fake. I passed out in a medic room, woke up in our Commanders personal quarts and now I’m moving rocks with my mind. Not to mention in two days I leave to meet the Supreme Leader, me, a First Order shit bowl scrubber.”

He chuckled, a real laugh this time, “I thought you folded bed sheets?”

You suddenly felt at ease, as if maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. “Don’t you know, Master Ren? I’m a master myself, of many things. I can fold sheets, dress pillows, sweep the floors, scrub the toilets and, I even clean the showers. What do you do again? Fly ships and weild a light saber? Looks like I have five skills compared to your two? Oh, six if I count the floating rocks.” You laughed taking a sip of the water at the table.

“Seven if you count passing out,” he added, his expression flat again.

You coughed awkwardly, feeling as if you pushed your limits to soon. “Forgive me, Master Ren.”

“You’re funny, that’s eight, I won’t allow you to have more skills than that, your training ends now. You’re dismissed.” You looked at his stone face in terror, was he serious? The thoughts of sweeping living quarters again made you feel sick. “Nine, you lack the ability to see a lie- a joke.” He grinned again.

“Touché. But, I think that technically revokes my eighth skill of being funny.”

He tilted his head, pondering your words. “Seven skills it is.”

The rest of the meal was silent, but not the uncomfortable silence that had been there before. You stood up, taking your plate to a trash bin. “Goodnight, Master Ren,” you called turning for your new bed.

He nodded you away but stopped you before you reached the door, “Master Ren is a lot to say, we need to save on time. Just call me Kylo, unless we are in front of Snoke,” he added at the end.

You nodded, suppressing a smile, finally leaving the room.

You found sleep quickly, dreaming of the blonde man who approached you when you lost consciousness. “Fight back, don’t give in!”

chapter three

[cocoisbestgirl]

Fanfic I can’t think of a name for pt 4

Felicity couldn’t help but smirk at seeing Lynna look away defeated. Something about her failure always made Felicity feel just a bit better. Something about it made her happy. That girl tortured Felicity her whole life, now it was finally a...slight revenge. She felt her brain pressuring her to play up Magda’s injuries if only to make Lynna’s day a touch worse.

“Miss Felicity, I have some gifts for Magda. I hope she can forgive the Jorcastles.” Tilla suddenly began to walk away back to her carriage. Felicity saw a slight argument. It all ended with Lynna in tears and Tilla walking back to Felicity with some sort of box. Tilla’s servants were carrying the box. It looked heavy like something used to carry tools.

It took a few seconds before she realized what was shining. It was gems and jewels... expensive looking ones at that.  It looked like something Maggie would buy just to show off. It may have been flashy even for Maggie though. It looked like some type of wood and it was decorated by gems that seemed to be almost stuck on whenever one part wasn’t gem-y enough. It was not a pretty sight, and Felicity’s standards weren’t exactly sky-high.

If Tilla hadn’t handed Felicity a key to the box, Fel would’ve honestly thought it was just junk. She knew better. She knew the duchess was not the type of woman to give away well...anything really, but more importantly she wouldn’t just give away something useless. She had an image to protect, after all. Felicity made a very unladylike, ‘Huh!’ when the box was released into her hands by the servants. Felicity could almost hear Eliza’s lessons on being a lady. She pushed those back into her head before looking up at Tilla. Whatever the heck was in that box was either: A: some huge dress that had already fallen way out of fashion by now or B: A dead body. Felicity couldn’t decide which one she would prefer.

“I cannot wait to see Miss Magda wearing them at the next ball!” Tilla said before bidding farewell and leaving the Ellenstein property. 

Felicity walked into the house with the massive box in hands. She used the back of her foot to close the door with a loud bang before purposefully dropping the box onto a nearby table. The box clunked a bit.

“M-miss what’s in there?” A maid said as she carried a basket full of full perfume bottles through the house. The maid stopped when she saw Felicity struggle to carry the box.

“Dead body,” Felicity said while wiping the sweat off of her face.

“W-what!? I-I won’t tell anybody I swear!”

“Nah, not really don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t be that surprised though.”

“W-what!?”

“Some of the stuff I have heard that woman say, a dead body wouldn’t be that hard to believe.”

“What does she s-say?”

“A weird amount about murder and assassination. Like a really, really weird amount. Probably has a hit on Lynna,” That last part Felicity was originally going to make it a joke. She soon realized it may not actually be…

“A-Anyway,” Felicity took the key in her hand, and opened the box.

No wonder the box was THAT heavy. It was nearly filled to the brim with all sorts of jewelry. At the top was a golden tiara with sapphires decorating the top of it and onyx dotting the bottom of it. Felicity saw quite a few smaller boxes buried underneath of other jewelry. The maid watched in sheer awe as Felicity opened one of the smallest boxes. Some of the most gorgeous, and probably most expensive, rings either of them had ever seen were stored away there. Ruby, emerald, diamond, whatever gem or material was there. 

‘Tilla just gave these away like they were nothing!’ Felicity thought, ‘Just how rich is she!?’

The maid looked around nervously and whispered in Felicity’s ear.

“M-may I have just one of those rings or a necklace? Even a bracelet?”

As much as Felicity desperately wanted to give the poor girl something. She felt unable to. This wasn’t hers. It was all Magda’s. Stealing from an injured woman was...

“I’m sure Magda will give you something. This, uh, isn’t really mine.”

The maid’s shoulder’s dropped a bit. Just as she began to pick her basket back up. Felicity held out one of the less glamorous rings to the maid. Felicity put one finger in front of her lips and winked at the maid who happily took the ring from Felicity’s hand. The maid nearly skipped up the stairs. Felicity felt good inside for a few seconds before she heard footsteps down the stairs. She already knew who it was. Goddess help her…

“Felicity? Who was at the door?”

“Ah! Mom. It was Til- Duchess Jorcastle,” Felicity quickly shut the box, almost crushing a pearl bracelet in the process. 

“Felicity? What’s behind you?”

“A gift. For Magda!”

Eliza’s face shifted a bit in shock. Then into fear in under a second.

“The duchess knows of Magda then…”

“It’s not a bad thing! I don’t think…”

“Daughter, I tried to raise you to be obedient...I really tried.” Eliza closed her eyes

Felicity had heard those words many times, but never in a sad tone... and definitely not with that face

“M-mom, If I knew this is what would’ve happened I would have never done it. I would’ve  told everybody she’s my maid. I didn’t mean for her to get hurt..”

“I wish you would have. Dressing her up and portraying her as a noble…. When in reality she was just a maid.. She could be killed.”

“W-what!?”

It was a convincing lie on Eliza’s part. Felicity knew none of Finsel’s laws, and she knew Felicity would never look into it further. 

“If anybody finds out...they could have a bounty set on her..”

Most, all, of this was a big lie. A woman so desperate she was willing to risk everything just to climb even a step higher in status, she was willing to make such elaborate lies that if they were ever uncovered….

“T-that can’t be true!”

“Please, Felicity go to your room…”

Felicity didn’t bother staying downstairs for the argument and ran upstairs to her room. 

Eliza smiled. Her plan didn’t go exactly as expected. It went better. She looked down at the box. Not only had Magda become the talk of the nobles, but she became a sympathy machine at the same time. 

“Perfect,” Eliza said to herself.

Magda made her way home in a carriage much better than the Ellenstein’s one. She had met the man who had made sure she was alright. Barris Sakan. Magda squirmed a bit at actually meeting him.  She had no issue with him, but she really wasn’t used to being near nobility. Her eyes stayed on the windows as they rode to the Ellenstein Residence.

“So, Miss Ellenstein,”

“Hm?” Magda looked over at Barris

“What is your relation to Felicity?”

“Um...I-”

“I apologize. That was a rude question..”

“N-nonono! You’re completely fine!” 

Magda then realized that now she had to explain how she was related to Felicity. Which she obviously wasn’t. Her and Felicity looked nothing alike. He wouldn’t believe they were related in any sort of way. Maybe, just maybe he’d believe she was a cousin...

“Our relationship is....complicated,” Magda said. She was so nervous she didn’t even have to fake her answer. It was technically not a lie.

“How so?”

“Well,” Magda started as she began to look out the window again, “I really only see her as somebody above me, yet she treats me like I’m on the same level as her. I see her as a friend at best..”

“Sibling relationships are difficult. I would know.”

“S-siblings?”

“I know this whole situation must be very confusing for you.”

‘What situation?’ Magda thought to herself. Magda was an only child as far as she remembered,so did Barris really think her and Felicity were…

Before she could finish her thought Barris interrupted.

“We’re here. Would you like me to walk you to the door? Just in case”

“No, thank you though. Magda picked up her dress slightly as she got out of the carriage and walked towards the residence. Her head was still foggy, but she was able to walk by herself to the door.

She looked down to the ground as she gave a tiny first knock. Only to be happily greeted by another maid before she even thought to knock twice.

“Hello, Magda!” She near shouted as she grabbed Magda by the arm and dragged her into the living room. The ring on the maid's finger gleamed in the light.

Magda’s head spun around and she felt nauseous again. Luckily the maid stopped before Magda had to hurl out whatever she had eaten that day. 

“S-sorry. I was told to get you straight to bed.” 

Before Magda could even think of a response she was being neared shoved up the flight of stairs leading to the second story. Before she even knew it she was in her bedroom.  Well, her new bedroom anyway. It was huge compared to her old room. It had a big closet and a balcony that she could see the stars out of. There was an empty vase in the middle of a vanity that decorated part of her room. On the door was a full body mirror...

The moonlight dimly lit up her bed. Magda forgot that this was her new room, and just thought about sleep. Magda undid the buttons on the front of her dress and let it drop uselessly to the floor. It was scrap now, anyway. She curled up on top of her blanket, too exhausted to even move under the covers. 

The whole day almost felt like a big blur. She remembered getting knocked over, and, nearly, dancing with a noble. The rest was all a big void in her mind. She kicked her shoes and stockings off, before finally shutting her eyes to rest.

The morning sun beamed into Magda’s eyes and startled her awake. The second she sat up her head throbbed with seemingly every heartbeat, and her eyes instinctively shut. Her hands went to grab her head, but she was startled by her door suddenly opening, which made her hands retreat back to her sides.

“Magda, me and-” It was definitely Eliza. Magda tried to hide her pain, but Eliza was smarter than that. 

She walked from the door to the windows and pulled the blinds shut. The pain in Magda’s head was still aching, but the darkness made her able to at least function.

“I’m,” Eliza paused, “I didn’t realize how bad it actually was.” 

Eliza’s eyes softened a bit, “Please come down when you are well. I will have the cook make you something.”

“T-thank you, Miss Eliza,” Magda managed to croak out, “You really are too kind.”

“Please Magda, for your own sake. Call me Mother.”

[atopearth]

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Part 4 - Trials and Tribulations (3rd game)

Turnabout Memories Omggg! I can’t believe we get to see Phoenix and Mia’s first meeting! I’ve always liked Mia so this is great! It’s so cute to see a younger Phoenix that is so cute and careless haha. Didn’t expect him to be the defendant for Mia’s second case ever though, but I guess it is a Phoenix Wright game, they gotta put him in the spotlight somehow, so if he’s not the defence, he’ll have to be a suspect hahaha. It’s so adorable when Phoenix cries lmao, but wow Dahlia is so cute and pretty, she’s an angel! Those butterflies hovering around her though lmao. The bottle necklace was really cool.

Wow, I really liked how this case turned out, it definitely feels more in line with the cases in the first game that I liked the most, mainly because it’s simple, it’s straightforward and it rounds up all the evidence and people mentioned nicely. I didn’t expect Phoenix to be so smitten with Dahlia though lol, but yeah, she’s really evil, not that we get to know what her motives for killing that attorney were, but dang was she evil to give the bottle that hid the poison to Phoenix so the police wouldn’t find it. I find it kinda funny that it ended up backfiring on her because Phoenix refused to return it to her later on so she had to keep dating him to try and get it back loll. Gotta feel sorry for the ex though, he noticed that she was dodgy and had stolen poison from his labs and was nice enough to warn Phoenix, but that instead led to his death, sigh, so terrible. Considering Dahlia’s last words, I guess we’ll be seeing her again… But yeah, I really liked this case especially with Mia being the lawyer, you can see how great she was even when she was a newbie. Lmao at Mr Payne losing his hair and screaming when he lost loll. Gotta love all the exaggeration, it really makes the game haha.

The Stolen Turnabout It’s nice to see Andrews living a better life now than when she was a manager. Lmaoo that no one noticed the urn being weird with the name spelt wrong since Pearl glued it back in the wrong places. Shocking that the village is famous enough that their “treasures” are being exhibited though lol. Otherwise, Atmey the ace detective doesn’t seem very interesting of a guy lol. I have to say, I miss Larry and his ability to complicate everything so it’s nice to see him again! Can’t believe he and Phoenix didn’t talk to each other for two years though! But, I guess considering the type of happy go lucky guy he is, Larry following a woman to Japan and then getting dumped is believable loll. I wonder if he makes all the girls he dates famous or something loll. Anyway, I don’t know why, but I feel like Atmey looks like and feels like Mask DeMasque. Okay, I love Godot’s look, he looks cool!! HAHAHA, I love him already, he’s never won or lost a case before because he’s a beginner hahahaha. He’s such an eccentric but it’s so cute, it was so funny and slack when he wanted to call his next witness, but Gumshoe said he hadn’t proven anything yet, and Godot says he already proved his incompetence LOL. And I love how Godot said the safest place to keep evidence is by him pocketing them hahahah. Gotta love everyone’s confidence here, Atmey especially, he didn’t even get to see the culprit’s face and was knocked out by him but he’s still so full of himself lolll. Gotta love how lenient the judge is with all the dodgy people, but I guess that’s expected since he’s not the best himself hahaha. LMAO when Godot said objection and threw his coffee at Phoenix (Godot Blend #102 hahaha) and you see the cup on his head whilst it’s dripping coffee hahahaha.

Anyway, what is wrong with Ron? Why is he so insistent on being Mask DeMasque and being pronounced guilty? Ohh wow, didn’t expect the CEO that was apparently blackmailing Ron to die, and to think that Phoenix proving him to be at the CEO office at the time of the theft saved him from the current case but now has caused him to be arrested for murdering the CEO. Aside from that, I love how when Godot is losing to Phoenix, steam comes out of his head or he just says random things about coffee to express his feelings lmao. Hahaahha Wendy Oldbag is Larry’s superior and partner in KB Security? Loll, they both sound so dodgy, I’m worried for this building. I wonder if Mask DeMasque is like two people or something lol. Hmm so Ron was the thief but someone gave him the plans and what to steal~ HAHAHA, lmao when Godot said “you did it, didn’t you?” to Ron when he was about to start testifying and Ron with a serious face says “yes” and then realises what he just said yes to and starts saying noooo LOL. Like the judge said, it really could have been the shortest trial ever hahahaha. Gotta love Gadot’s variety of reactions, it was so hilarious whenever he spat his coffee out at Phoenix uncovering things that were unexpected to him hahaha. Anyway, I really liked how things went on in this part of the trial! Even though it was obvious Detective Atmey was the culprit, it was interesting to see how he made everyone fall into the trap of thinking he was actually Mask DeMasque in order to get himself a guilty verdict of larceny as his alibi to protect him from actually being accused of murdering the CEO. That felt really clever and interesting imo. Well, glad to know Desiree really loves Ron as much as he loves her, so it’s a nice ending for them haha.

Overall, although Atmey was a boring culprit when considering his motives etc, I found the flow of the case really fun and interesting. The case started off pretty funny and amusing by introducing the broken urn from the previous game again and making it seem like a theft case, when really it interrelated with the idea of someone trying to use the double jeopardy rule (can’t be tried for the same charges twice when some sort of verdict has been made already) to get themselves out of the more serious crime. I liked the idea and the execution of it quite a bit and enjoyed how everything turned out~

Recipe for Turnabout A fake Nick?! Isn’t it a bit crazy that no one in court or anything knew it was a fake though?? Not sure if I like the sound of this case already… The fake also kinda tarnished his reputation for losing and getting a guilty verdict too! Well, I didn’t expect to see Maggey again, bad luck follows her everywhere, huh? Even when she’s been fired as a police officer and is now a waitress… Yahh, Armstrong is certainly an eccentric character… Well, uh, aside from the disgusting food, overly pungent flower smell in the restaurant and those weird dodgy aromatherapy oils he’s giving out, is there anything good about this guy or restaurant?! Omgg lace curtains in a kitchen, I am dreading the possibility of a fire already… Lmao when Maya in that maid/waitress outfit couldn’t entice Victor to talk and so she had to turn into Mia lolll.

Honestly though, Godot makes me want to drink coffee allll the time hahaha. Lmaooo at Gumshoe trying so hard to get Phoenix to doubt his testimony and evidence so that Maggey can be freed hahahah. Awww so cute how Gumshoe made a lunchbox for Maggey since she seemed to have lost weight from the stress of the case! Lmao that it’s just a bunch of weenies/sausages with rice though hahahah. I’m surprised no one cares or thinks the chef is suspicious especially since Maggey fainted when the guy got poisoned, like ummm okay?? I’d say that the idea of the Victor seeing a fake crime scene with a fake victim was interesting, but at the same time, it felt really implausible? Especially with how easily it was renounced by Phoenix because of the radio lottery announcement that occurs at 1:30pm every time? Lmao at everyone (even the judge hahaha) getting scared of Tigre’s dominating presence and shouting so they hide under the table lolll. Gotta love how calm Godot remains.

And yeah…the way they tricked him into telling the whole court what the bottle of potassium cyanide actually looked like etc was just..so, how do I say it? Unsatisfying??? Well, technically I felt like the whole story of this case and how it happened and why it happened was pretty bland already, but even the way they got him was just so uncharacteristically satisfying. I feel like what I enjoy most about the game is when they give you the evidence and the testimonies and that leads you to solving the case with clear cut evidence etc to show that “this person” did it. It just feels rather cheap when they deviate from that since it doesn’t feel like the reader themselves really did their part to show why this person is guilty, instead you’re reliant on Phoenix doing something random and dodgy to succeed. On another note, I found Maggey blaming Gumshoe and hating on him really annoying especially when she was a policewoman before and so she should understand that he had to give the facts, like seriously, you can’t blame him for telling the truth, especially when he ran around everywhere trying to help find evidence to prove her innocence. Not only was she not grateful for any of it, she KEEPS blaming him even after the trial ends! Like girl, he has no obligation (other than his job) to help her to such an extent that he’s even making lunchboxes etc for her, I was so annoyed with her, and do not want to see her again honestly, but I doubt it’s the last time we see her zzz. Considering how annoying she was about it all, I’m surprised she still ate the lunchbox in the end, Gumshoe is wasted on her. But yeah, basically, not a fan of this case in terms of story or the characters/witnesses. Victor was okay because he was a silly guy, but Tigre was so boring, even more boring than I initially thought.

Turnabout Beginnings I’m glad we get to see Mia’s first case! I was scared they might put it in the next game or something haha. Is Diego (another attorney in the same law firm as Mia) Godot’s father or something? Or is it actually Godot himself? Or am I just thinking too much haha. Omgggg I can’t believe Edgeworth is the prosecutor!! Young him is so cute though lol. Nah, Diego has the statement coffee cup, he’s gotta be related to Godot, it must run in the family!! Loll. Awww Gumshoe and Edgeworth go way back! So, is Melissa Dahlia? Did she change her name?? Honestly though, I’m not really interested in the case haha, doesn’t help how biased the judge is and how tricky Edgeworth is lol. Okay, that was unexpected, Valerie, Fawles and Dahlia were in on this “kidnapping” to get some cash out of it, but Valerie betrayed them and caused her sister, the little girl “Dahlia” to fall to her death on the bridge? Ohh okay, that turned out more interesting than I thought. I can see why Mia was quite traumatised with her first case, she was so close to revealing Dahlia to be the one that jumped off the bridge herself to keep that 2 million diamond for herself, and how she killed her sister and pinned it on Terry to stop the truth from getting out, and yet…Terry was so obsessed and taken with Dahlia that he chose to commit suicide instead, and it was by drinking poison from that bottle Phoenix had in the beginning of the first case in this game… That was honestly pretty saddening.

Bridge to the Turnabout Okay, initially, I was sceptical about this with the Iris seeming to be Dahlia thing and the temple stuff etc, but now that Phoenix is hurt and Larry wants Edgeworth to defend Iris, this seems like it’ll be a fun case! Like, sure, the court was dodgy enough to accept a paper attorney badge last time and not even recognise Phoenix’s imposter, but everyone knows Edgeworth is a prosecutor! How are they going to get around that? Loll. Swapping the judge out is a good idea to get around it, but I like the judge!! Well, the judges are brothers so I guess that’s cool hahaha. But yeah, I love the usual judge, he’s so silly, it’s hilarious! Anyway, lmao that the “blackmail letter” to Iris was actually Larry’s love letter hahahaha, he ended up scaring her away instead lollll.

Omggg Franziska vs Edgeworth?? I prefer Godot but I guess this match will be interesting. Hahahaha at the judge thinking Edgeworth looks familiar (since he’s the same judge that was in the Mia vs Edgeworth case back in the day) and Franziska insisting there’s no such weakling in the prosecutor’s office lolll. And then I love how the judge tries to get rid of Franziska’s whip but Edgeworth says she should be allowed to keep it since he doesn’t care lolll, what about the judge’s wishes?! Lmaoo at Sister Bikini (what a name btw LOL) being so short (because of her bad back) at the witness podium, you just see her eyes blinking hahahaha, and then they had to get milk crates for her ahahaha. Awwww Edgeworth is so cute to say he now understands why Phoenix feels so happy when he exposes contradictions in testimonies hahaha. Larry is hilarious, I can’t believe he was literally sketching for 15 minutes when the bridge was burning down instead of getting help LOL. It’s normal for Edgeworth and Franziska to insult Larry’s intelligence but lmao at even the judge saying he was surprised Larry actually witnessed an actual event loll. Gotta love how Larry makes every case he’s in more complicated haha.

Hmmm is Godot the guy that was poisoned by Dahlia?🧐 Is Elise Maya’s mother? She is!! Iris is Pearls’ sister??? Do they even know about each other?? Oh wait, now Iris is a twin?? Well, I was thinking that was the only logical explanation to the people sighting her everywhere and the extra psyche locks on the Sacred Cavern (where Maya is trapped) but I’m still surprised that they’re all actually Morgan’s (Misty’s sister, so Maya and Mia’s aunt) daughters! Ummm, if Iris’ father is a jeweller and he left Kurain village with the twin daughters after knowing that Morgan could never be the master, and if he gave Iris up to the temple and kept the other daughter… Does that mean Dahlia is the other sister and that’s why she really wanted that jewel in that case? Oh wow, Iris was a part of the fake kidnapping as well but somehow betrayed Dahlia causing her “killing spree”. Hmm if they stole the jewel as “revenge” on their father for how he treated Morgan (dumping her since she was useless to him), what was their plan exactly?

Hahaha gotta love that the trial has barely started and it’s already killing Phoenix since Iris just confessed she’s actually an accomplice to the murder! Well, the pendulum swinging the body back was pretty much what I expected even though it still kinda sounds rather far fetched… And I was wondering why Iris was weird, she’s actually Dahlia! I’m kinda confused at the idea of them being able to materialise Dahlia without actually having her body like possess someone? Since it’s implied initially that Misty was the one channeling her, but now that she’s dead, she’s still materialised?? I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but wouldn’t it be most likely that the one channeling Dahlia is actually Maya? And yep it was! I was thinking it was impossible for Pearl to have been the one channeling her since she already since she didn’t and couldn’t do it, so I was so confused haha. It’s good that Maya was smart enough to consult Mia and that’s how they were able to plan and get Maya to protect herself from Dahlia by being the one channeling her so that she wouldn’t be able to know that the one she actually needed to hurt was herself. That thing Dahlia kinda became when she was disappeared was pretty menacing, I feel like she would be back in a future game just because of how vengeful she is tbh.

Omg, the defence attorney Dahlia poisoned was Armando, the guy who was helping Mia out in that trial with Dahlia. Both Mia and him were still suspicious of Dahlia after that case so she killed him…. I knew it was coming, but to think that Diego Armando is really Godot… Like, don’t get me wrong, I love Godot’s looks, but I’m sure having to wear that visor to see things etc already kinda depicts how terrible his life must had become after the incident with Dahlia. Oh wow, Godot was in a coma for 5 years due to the poison… I never expected Godot to have loved Mia so much that he hated Phoenix for not being able to protect her whilst he was asleep. And I didn’t expect him to care so much that he made protecting Maya one of his reasons for living, since he knew that she was the most important person to Mia. It’s so tragic yet sweet… I didn’t think Misty, Iris and Godot all cooperated trying to foil Morgan’s plan though… Honestly, it broke my heart to see Godot trying to guide Phoenix to the end of the trial by himself instead of always relying on Mia. It’s true that he hated Phoenix for not protecting Mia, but Godot also hated himself for missing out on everything that happened as well, he felt like he failed as well. So having to see Phoenix point out that Godot was the murderer was so tough and terrible to witness, mainly because they all did what they did to protect Maya. Misty channeled Dahlia’s soul to prevent Pearl from doing it, but that meant it was up to Godot to stop her, and there was no other way to stop her than for Godot to have stabbed her at that moment. Although Godot doubts whether he did it for Maya or for himself (for revenge on Dahlia poisoning him), I think there’s no need to even think about it, even though he had his own sort of pride (for not telling Phoenix about the plan), in his own way, he did what he could to protect what was precious to Mia. And that honestly breaks my heart.

The other most surprising thing to come out of this was that in reality, Dahlia and Phoenix only met each other twice (when she used him to hide the poison and when she tried to poison him in the end), all the other times they met and dated and had a relationship, it was actually Iris trying her best to get the bottle back from him so that Dahlia wouldn’t kill him. Although, she obviously failed and that caused Dahlia to hatch her plan and not tell Iris about it because she knew Iris had fallen in love with Phoenix. Honestly though, I really wanted Phoenix and Iris to get together this whole time, so knowing that they used to be together was really nice. If only it was possible in the future too… I thought it was really cool and bittersweet how Phoenix and Godot shared a cup of coffee with each other at the end of the trial. I guess in a sense, he’s finally free since the case is resolved, but at the same time I can’t help but feel so sad about it all. Maya and Pearl are really strong for being able to keep up their smiles.

Honestly, I found the last case to be rather convoluted and boring because of the fact that I’ve never really been a fan of the supernatural element of the game with the Kurain channelling technique. The only times I liked them using it was to bring back Mia, but not really in an actual case, so that detracted points for me, and I guess also because Dahlia wasn’t a very interesting villain either. Dahlia is just like this ball of pure hatred for everything and everyone for betraying her and treating her like crap, and although it’s understandable, aside from her looks, there was nothing I liked about her lol. However, the last case definitely hit me in the feels the best out of all the cases in this trilogy, I legit wanted to cry because of Godot’s/Armando’s story and motivations, he was really relatable and I couldn’t help but really empathise with his hatred, his sadness and his forced acceptance of reality in the present. It was painful to witness because of how much it broke my heart. He is definitely my favourite character for this whole franchise. Larry and Mia being close seconds haha.

Overall, although I found the Maggey case and the Godot one lacking in terms of the case itself, most of this third game was great! I enjoyed most of it and really felt like it had the gist of what I loved in the first game so it was great to play through it! The psyche locks are still something I don’t like, but oh well. Honestly, I really wanted to play as Edgeworth a bit more but I guess I can play that other game with him as the MC? It’s on Android so I guess I can play it on that haha. I think my favourite part was being able to play as Mia, I really enjoyed getting to see more of her personality and how she worked her way through her cases and how much of an impact that first case had on her. She should get spin offs too! Tbh, my favourite case was hers with Edgeworth because just as it had an impact on them with the suicide at the end, I also found it very interesting and engaging with how the case flowed and how it ended up all going downhill at the last moment. I feel like it was a really refreshing take amongst the usual cases. All in all, I would definitely recommend the trilogy because it really is so much fun! I’m so sad that it’s over tbh, I hope they port the other games, I want to see more!! A lot of the things are silly especially with introducing evidence out of nowhere and all that, but it just makes the whole story so much more entertaining, so I think if you’re not crazy strict about how courts should be like and just want some law drama fun, this is probably the epitome of it, because I have to admit, it’s so satisfying to hear Phoenix and them shout “objection!” all the time haha. The dialogue is so witty, cool and fun that it really makes the game such a highlight with how the prosecutor and defence attorney interact, and you just gotta love the silly judge adding his random comments hahaha. I miss it already😭

[crazed-rambling]

Dating for Hedge Witches

Blossom would like to make it very clear that she was a hedge witch. Despite what her family says; it is in fact a perfect respectable career. A career which she very much enjoys.

 Country life suited her, the peace of waking up to birdsong outside her window was a far more pleasant wake up call than she’d ever had before. Spending the days seeing to the villagers’ aches and ailments wasn’t easy nor glamorous work but it was kind and she could return to her cottage each day with the memory of the people she’d helped to lull her to sleep. During the winter nights she could burrow in quilted blankets with homemade teas which her family would never have deigned to touch. And on summer evenings she could laze by the riverside, bare feet dipping into the water as she watched the village children play, careful to keep a watch on any wandering spirits who thought her people were easy prey.

 There was something to be said for collecting ingredients as well, even if the forest sprites tended to rather picky on their timings. The first drop of dew of the vernal equinox required for any professional beauty potion was notoriously tricky to locate. But watching the sun rise through the trees and refract scattering rainbows in the crisp morning air was always a sight to behold. There was a feeling of calm that came in that moment. As though the world itself had paused in anticipation, waiting for winter to give way to spring. Of course you could attempt to make the potion without it but the effects were rather diluted, how could you expect a transformation to hold without a sign of change. Her brothers would say that a deal with any reasonably strong life spirit could make up for the deficit. It of course was possible provided you studied for long enough. Life spirits never deign to speak any mortal tongue and must be paid their fully calculated price with all due reverence, unless you want the payment taken out of your hide. Which would be all well and good, magic will inevitably have its risks, but Blossom’s few interactions with such spirits had taught her one thing. Life spirits are dicks.

Specifically dicks mind you because for formless unknowable beings they reminded her all too much of her early magic instructor. An ageing wizard who must have been some sort of big shot at some point, she had vague memories of her father exalting his strides in necromancy. To Blossom he had been and old man with too small eyes, strained and bloodshot as he looked down upon her latest efforts and advised her that women generally lack the forceful presence required to command the life spirits. Wizards are in general, also dicks.

Of course Blossom had attended enough births to know that a forceful presence is the last thing women lack. Just last week she’d watched as Mary Conner, the most lamb hearted woman she’d ever known, broke her husband’s hand; swearing up and down that she’d remove a favoured body part of his if he thought she’d be having another child. Blossom had honestly spent longer on the spell to fix poor the poor man’s hand than she did assisting Mary. Women, mothers especially, she’d come to learn are a force of nature. A fact that any numbers of wizard’s tomes had yet to teach her brothers.

So yes Blossom was quite happy with her cottage and her gardens and her villagers who would buy her potions for copper coins and chickens eggs.

Which is why she wasn’t pleased about a dark-haired woman barging in yelling a name she’d rather forget. Unexpected interruptions were to be expected in her line of work, injuries and illness did not wait for any schedule, even witches’. But this woman was far better dressed than any of her usual visitors. A fine cloak draped around her shoulders, enchanted by the looks of it, fire protection and possibly weapons protection although a closer look would be required to confirm. But still a finer cloak than any of her normal clients could afford. Matched only by what Blossom could only call an aristocratic look. There is little to distinguish an aristocratic face from any other person except a manner of pursing the lips, however involuntarily, in the presence of humble living. Blossom of course couldn’t judge; her face had once held that same look. Although she could judge the look of contempt that followed as she surveyed the cottage, because that was just rude.

It is at this point that Blossom must point out that this woman and many others from this point forward insist on referring to her by the wrong name. So she has decided to make minor edits to this account and switch any usages of this name to Blossom: her goddamn name.

“I am Lady Cottingford bearing a message for Mage Blossom from his royal highness Prince Richard.”

The woman left a clearly scripted pause, to allow for the expected exclamations of awe. But Blossom had met the prince many times throughout her aborted foray into wizardry, and on almost every occasion he had proved himself to be entirely deserving of the abbreviation of his name. So of course there was little awe to be found. Ever a professional the messenger soldiered on declaring,

“His royal highness has chosen you to assist him in a matter of great importance to our country, and as such has summoned you to the royal palace immediately.”

“He has the entire school of wizards at his disposal, what does he want with me?”

The woman purses her lips again, she really was quite good at that, disdaining the mere thought of answering a peasant. Blossom saved her the trouble,

“They couldn’t solve it.” Blossom had never claimed to be anything but blunt, and the look on the woman’s face made it clear she’d got to the heart of the matter.

Now Blossom could annoy the messenger all she liked but by law she was technically still the Queen’s subject so there was no way out of a direct royal command. With this in mind she collected her prestocked bag of supplies and gestured for her ever charming guide to lead the way.

The castle was as she remembered it. Pretentious. Although it was an interesting change of pace to be invited in through the servant’s entrance, off a secondary courtyard rich with the smells of laundry and cooking food. Whatever matter must be discussed was clearly meant to remain a secret, not that her presence would remain so for very long if the covert glances of the scullery maids was anything to go by. Being lead through the claustrophobic maze of servants passages only served to bring her back to days as an acolyte in the school of wizards, hours spent between rows upon rows of ancient tones alongside her brothers, and so she was grateful to be led into what must have been the most ostentatious room known to man, woman or beast.

Prince Dick sat in pride of place seemingly dwarfed by the throne he was one day expected to fill. It was a strange sight to behold as the prince could only claim superiority over his mother in one aspect: height. And yet he seemed incapable of filling any space she left. While this reunion would have been unpleasant enough it was made all the more so by the presence of Isaac taking the place of the prince’s right hand.

 Isaac was as much like she remembered him as he was not. He still looked far too like a cherub with his golden curls and heart shaped face, but he held himself with more pride than he’d ever managed as her brother and fellow acolyte. Of course she’d seen the look of disappointment before; as she’d left. But it remained jarring to see it on the face of what was once her closest friend.

 Eager to get the ordeal over with Blossom dipped into possibly the most lacklustre curtsy this hall had ever seen, her greeting of “Your highness, brother,” devoid of any real respect. Not that they seemed to notice, as far as they were concerned what she said didn’t really matter.

“Blossom,” Three years had clearly done little to change the prince, she wasn’t even that surprised. At least her brother had remained silent “I’m sure you’re wondering why I summoned you,” he had the same smile he’d had ever since he was a boy, the type of smile that left you feeling as though you were just a toy he’d soon grow bored of. The same flare for drama as well, if the clearly calculated pause was anything to go by. “I’m sure you’ve heard that I recently got married,” Blossom had actively not heard this and said a little prayer for whichever poor thing it was, “well since then we appear to have had a little bit of a problem. To be blunt, my wife has been cursed. On our wedding night she transformed and she hasn’t changed back since. See if you can fix her for me.” With this he listlessly waved his hand, gesturing for her to follow the guards stationed by the door.

Neither of the guards seemed inclined to acknowledge her which was fine with her. Walking the endless, lavish corridors which made up the royal castle gave Blossom time to think over the situation. If they were desperate enough to call her in, they must have exhausted every method known to the school of wizards, so Blossom was honestly shocked they hadn’t seen any improvements.

 The guards came to a stop in front as rather ordinary looking door, for royalty that is, it didn’t look like the place you’d find a royal princess. Although the reason for that became clear as she entered, her two guards filing in behind her. The room its self was better than most people would ever see in their lifetimes with crisp cotton sheets on a delicately carved bed frame, a soft floral pattern covering the walls, and a large glass window overlooking the place gardens. But there in the centre of the bed sat a very bored looking goat.

 The villagers owned enough goats for Blossom to be aware that this goat was unimpressed as it glanced at her, but this could also be because it was apparently a princess so most people must be rather unimpressive. Still Blossom found it was better to introduce herself before someone else does it for her and uses the wrong name, so here she was talking to a goat.

“Hello your highness, my name is Blossom and I am a hedge witch your husband has asked to break your curse.” The goat, seemingly satisfied with this greeting, left the bed and walked to stand a few feet in front of Blossom. The goat was of course still a princess, and princesses have manners.

 Even close up this looked just like any regular goat, of course Blossom could sense a trace of magic clinging to the edges, maintaining the transformation, but it seemed to have no malicious intent. Strange for a curse. Rummaging in her bag she drew out a glass bottle of clear liquid, pouring some on her fingertips she smeared it over her eyelids. Marigold water on the eyes for clear sight. Too basic for any wizard to use but useful all the same. A rough translation spell cast and she was ready.

 “This isn’t a curse is it?”

“My mother taught me that a Lady must marry for her family. She never mentioned anything about letting him touch me”

This exchange served as a great source of confusion for the guards who had watched a young woman enact a conversation with a goat, baas and all, then burst into laughter as though the animal had said something incredibly witty, rather than just being a goat.

“Why a goat?” Blossom was honestly curious about this; animal transformations were notoriously tricky and most witches didn’t attempt one without a specific animal in mind.

“It seemed rather unladylike, and a goat removes any possibility of him trying to ride me in a different sense to his original plans.” It was difficult to determine tone using a translation spell, and Blossom had certainly never studied the ins and outs of Goat before. But she was at least 90% sure that the future queen of the nation was telling sex jokes, as a goat. It was a lot to process. She also may be a little in love.

 “So I’m assuming you aren’t in need of any magical assistance as your….esteemed? husband claims.” Blossom had always assumed that goats lacked the correct facial muscles to properly express the emotion of sass, but here she was, sassed by a goat. Add that to the long list of reasons for her father to be disappointed.

“If I was in need of magical assistance I wouldn’t have headbutted the last three wizards they sent.”

“Well I’m grateful that you haven’t done that to me yet,”

“To be fair you’re a lot prettier than the last three,” While Blossom would claim that the heat from the fire had finally caught up with her, this excuse couldn’t quite explain the way her heart was trying its best to float its way out of her chest. “Smarter too. None of the others figured it out.”

“Wizards are dicks”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m placing my future in the hands of witch then, isn’t it Blossom?” Maybe it was hearing her name for the first time since she arrived at the palace, maybe it was the phrasing the princess had used, maybe it was the fact that Blossom’s sum total of dating experience was zero. But the idea of proposing marriage floated into her mind, then set down its anchors with no intention of leaving anytime soon. She was weak and it occurred to her that she’d do just about anything for her.

“Please help me escape.” That, that she could handle.

 Now if you were to ask the princess, which she’d discovered people rarely do in these stories. She would have told you that the smile that graced Blossom’s face as she agreed, must have been sculpted by the spirits themselves. Blossom would adamantly deny that there was anything special about that particular smile, but the beginnings of love have a way of tricking the minds of all parties.

 A quick discussion, of course all in Goat, and the plan was ready. The princess would have normally deemed the plan too simple to work. But alas, she had spoken to her husband, who was really rather simple too. With both women agreed there really only was one final problem to take care off. And Blossom’s childhood had taught her a few things, the most useful of which for this scenario being: how to get what you wanted from guards.

 She approached the guards slowly, careful to shrink into herself, wearing fear and reverence like a cape as she made her request. “Excuse me sirs, but would you mind stepping outside? You see, well, if I am to try and transform her highness back, she will. Well she won’t be -“ Blossom was careful to keep one eye on the guards throughout this little play, waiting for the moment before intrigue turned to irritation to reveal “She won’t be wearing any clothes. It’s just not proper.” Not that the guards seemed to care for proper, they were very happy to pretend as though she’d never even spoken. Plan B it was.

 Blossom drew herself up to her full height, shedding her act and allowing the aristocratic sneer of her father’s perfect son to grace her features. Most days she did not enjoy towering over most people she met, but she must admit that the intimidation factor really did come in useful. Since the guards seemed to decide that there really wasn’t that much difference between one side of the door and the other, in the grand scheme of things. With the decided click of the door, Blossom spun to face the princess, unable to keep the excited smile off her face. Rescuing a princess, disappointing her family, pissing off Prince Dick. This was going to be fun.

 The spells themselves weren’t all that complicated in the end, Blossom knew of a villager who happened to own a very similar looking goat so the summoning was a breeze. It would have been considerably harder if the forest sprites didn’t find the whole idea absolutely hilarious; but they still hold this as one of their best pranks to this day. And a temporary shrinking draft was easy to make from the ingredients she’d brought with her. So with a goat in the room and an even smaller goat smuggled in her bag, Blossom took a calming breath, schooled her expression into something resembling disappointment, opened the door and requested to see the prince.

 The prince did not appear to have moved since Blossom had last seen him, despite a considerable amount of time having passed. Although it occurred to her that it was entirely possible that this was a pose he pulled in an attempt to look regal and intimidating, that seemed like the sort of thing Dick would do. It would have been helpful if this thought had occurred to her at another time, when she didn’t need to pretend to be contrite. But thoughts, much like royal messengers it seemed, do not really care whether the timing is convenient. It was a good thing she could keep her head down in a show of respect and regret, as this served quite nicely to hide the upwards twist of her mouth from view. All attention on her, princess in her bag, sprites at her back, Blossom spoke.

“I’m sorry your highness but the spell on this princess was too strong for me. I tried my best but I was unable to break it.”

 Neither the prince nor Isaac looked in any way surprised, they’d called her here to watch her fail. To remind her of her ‘place’, to rub in her face everything she’d given up. And rage rushed through her veins for the first time in years, dampened only by the knowledge that she was lying to their faces and they didn’t have a clue. That they could look down on her all they liked; they still couldn’t see the truth. “I think that is a curse from the fae, probably laid on the royal family. But it is powerful. The royal wizards are the only ones who could attempt to break it.” And the royal wizards did attempt to break the curse for many more years, once Blossom had been dismissed from court in ‘disgrace’ again. But even the most experienced of scholars had little luck, for their ‘princess’ was in fact a goat.  

 At the sight of her little cottage, with its creeping vines and the worn paint on the door, Blossom couldn’t help but laugh, letting the tension bleed from her bones at the sight of home. Retrieving the princess from her bag, only to be informed that ‘it stank worse than the prince’s breath’ only sent her spiralling back into uncontrollable laughter. Now laughter in general is infectious, but a laugh like Blossom’s; loud, unrestrained and full of joy, to a girl already half way in love is even more so and the princess soon found herself laughing along. She didn’t require any help to transform back in the end, she’d chosen what she would become and who else could take that from her? Blossom had only just regained her breath as it was knocked out from her once more, her own heart pounding in her ears. The princess was shorter than she’d imagined princesses to be, all soft around the edges with a round face and eyes the colour of fertile ground just a little too small for the rest of her features. She was also more perfect than she ever could have dreamed.

 “Nice to finally meet you. I’m Blossom.”

“Claire,” a shy smile graced the princesses face and Blossom knew that now was her only chance to keep that smile in her life.

“I was wondering. If you don’t have any other plans, of course! But if if you need a place to stay, then you could stay with me. If you wanted.” Blossom’s face was red, but she’d said what she needed to and the smile she received in return was all the reward she’d ever need.

“I’d love to! Just until I get back onto my feet. I’ll get out of your hair soon, I promise.”  

 Despite the princess’s promises she quickly grew accustomed to cottage life; the smell of stew cooking, logs cracking on the fire, soft touches from shy hands and that smile day after day. Days turned to months and months to years. The villagers grew accustomed to the second witch as well, smiling as she delivered potions and shaking their heads slightly when she stopped by the pens to where she’d make bleating noises at the goats as though they could understand. And if the villagers spied the two witches kissing as they gathered ingredients, well that was really no one’s business but theirs.

[imjustthemechanic]

Glockenspiel

Part 1/? - Transmission Part 2/? - The Sandhill Hotel Part 3/? - Piccadilly Part 4/? - The Future Part 5/? - Too Late Part 6/? - The Mystery of the Missing Time Machine Part 7/? - Underway Part 8/? - The Sierra Bunker Part 9/? - Cross-Country Part 10/? - The Pit Part 11/? - Calls for Help Part 12/? - Campout and Reunion Part 13/? - Apocalypse Bunker Part 14/? - Terrible Truths Part 15/? - Library Crystals

Peggy’s first reaction was to roll her eyes – of course Howard assumed a ‘civilian contractor’ was himself.  He did have a point, though.  Stark Industries was the company the SSR went to, again and again, because Howard built things nobody else could… and because Peggy trusted him.  The odds, on reflection, were pretty good.

“HYDRA obviously got most of the crystals back,” she observed, “because there were boxes and boxes of them in that bunker.” Not to mention the ones the supposed electricians had been using in London.  “I suppose we didn’t let you keep all of them.  Look up library crystals.”

Howard did, and came up with more corrupted documents. Somebody had wanted to remove every trace of the machine and its workings, and had very nearly succeeded. They had to hope Howard’s hunch was correct, because it was all they currently had.

They headed back to the hotel, since Toulouse would have to return there to pick up her luggage, but rather than waiting out front they sat down on a bench near the back hallway, where the entrance to the bunker was.  Toulouse would hopefully look for them there.  While they waited, Howard put some more thought into possibly locations for the library crystals.

“To extract the information from them I would have needed my own matter duplicator, or some other device,” he said.  “If I didn’t want anybody finding that, I would have destroyed it, but if the crystals themselves still belonged to the SSR I would have hung on to them.  You guys might have wanted them back someday.”

“Very wise,” said Peggy.  “Where would you have put them?”

“It would have depended on where I was living at the time,” Howard said.  “If I were still in Malibu, I bought some land on the point that I was thinking of building a house on, but the engineers told me there were caves in the rock and it wasn’t stable.  I could have hidden something there.  Or if I were in New York, I’d probably put it in the Mansion vault.”

“Because we both know that’s impregnable,” Peggy remarked.

“I’ve been fortifying it,” Howard informed her.

Well over three hours passed between them parting ways with Toulouse and someone coming to find them again, and when someone did, it was Kevin.  “Sorry we took so long,” he said, “we tried to text you, but then we remembered you lost your phones. We figured you’d be in the hotel somewhere but we didn’t want to draw attention to you while Cass was still here, and Toulouse doesn’t want to come back in anyway.”

“That’s quite all right,” said Peggy.  “How did it go?”  She hoped the meal hadn’t ended in disaster.

Kevin grimaced and held up a hand, tilting it back and forth.  Peggy had not seen the gesture before but it suggested a foundering ship – which already told her what the answer might be.

“Oh, dear,” she said.

They followed Kevin back out to the front of the hotel, where they found Toulouse sitting in the front seat of a car, in tears. Kevin got in the driver’s seat and Peggy and Howard climbed in the back, and then an awkward few moments went by in which the only sounds were the air conditioning and Toulouse’s sniffles.

“So what happened?” asked Peggy.  How had the situation just gotten worse?

“Nothing,” whimpered Toulouse.

“It actually wasn’t that bad,” said Kevin.  “Mostly I just talked about my work until Cass nearly fell asleep.  He’s probably gone to tell his father Toulouse is marrying the most boring pond scum scientist in the world.”

“Then why…” Peggy began.

“I’m stressed!” Toulouse wailed.  “The whole time I didn’t know whether Cass knows about the bunker and the stuff that’s in it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it!  Does he know it’s there?  Did he put it there?  He likes Klimt for some reason and he’s got like four Klimts down there so maybe he did!  But I had to keep smiling and pretending I was interested in what Kevin was saying… you’re not boring,” she added, to Kevin, wiping her nose.  “I was distracted.”

“It’s okay,” Kevin sighed.  “Pond scum is an acquired taste.”

“So now it’s all done I’m just venting,” Toulouse added, and hiccupped.  “You can only bottle things up for so long, you know?  Then they have to come out, and this is how mine come out.  Oh, god, I need a shower and I need to fix my makeup, but where are we gonna stay? I can’t go back in there!  I just can’t!”

Kevin shrugged.  “Last time I was in California I was giving a SETI Talks lecture on extremophiles,” he said.  “They put me up at a Super 8 in Menlo Park.”

They ended up finding a Holiday Inn in a questionable-looking neighbourhood further inland.  Toulouse once again expressed a hope that nobody would recognize her, and it seemed that nobody did.  Her smeared makeup probably helped.  Once they had a room, Toulouse took a very long shower and Kevin sat down with his computer to answer some email.

“People are gonna be wondering where I am,” he said.

“What are you telling them?”  Peggy was curious.  How would anyone explain this mess?

“Well, I’m definitely not going to say I’m hanging out with time traveling clones looking for a Nazi superweapon,” Kevin said.  “I think I’ll say I’m dealing with a family crisis.  That’s technically true, it’s just not my family.”

A few minutes later, the shower finally shut off. Another quarter of an hour passed, and Toulouse emerged, wearing a robe and with a towel wound around her hair, and flopped face-first on the bed.  She looked utterly miserable.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice muffled by the comforter.

“It’s all right,” Peggy assured her.  “Everybody has to break down sometimes.”  Even Peggy herself, although she preferred not to let anyone see.

“It’s not that,” said Toulouse.  She turned her head so she could speak more clearly.  “When I went with him, I thought I was going to subtly interrogate him, like people do in movies, or like you hear about Black Widow.  I would bring up the apocalypse bunker by telling him the maid asked me…”  Tears spilled over in her eyes again, and she pulled the towel off her hair to bury her face in it instead.  “And I thought he would tell me because he doesn’t know I’m with you guys, or at least he’d let something slip, you know?  But I couldn’t do it.  I was too scared.  I Just let Kevin do all the talking.”

“To be fair,” Kevin said, “get me started about my work and I talk a lot.”

“So now I went through all that and I didn’t learn anything,” Toulouse sniffled. “I wanted to help but I just couldn’t.”

Peggy patted her on the back.  “Honestly, I’m glad you didn’t,” she said.  “It might have been very dangerous to let him suspect how much you know.  But Toulouse, we need other kinds of help now.”  She was starting to hate using this young woman for her money, but it wasn’t as if they had a lot of choice.

Toulouse looked up again.  “What kind?” she asked.

“Well, while you were at lunch Howard and I did some digging of our own,” Peggy said.  She explained that they’d gone back to the Best Buy, and what they’d learned from their searches there.  As Toulouse listened, her eyes dried and she sat up and began drying her hair.  Peggy half expected to see rainbows appearing on the white towel, but evidently Toulouse’s hair was colourfast.

“Good for you,” Toulouse said, managing a tear-streaked smile.  “You’re getting the hang of the twenty-first century already.  I’m proud.”

“We’re quick learners,” Howard assured her.

“So the missing library crystals may be in Malibu or in New York,” said Peggy.  “We need to check both places.  This time I think we’ll start with the closer one.”  If they’d done that in the Sandhill Playa Del Rey, it would have saved them a lot of trouble.

“Oh, you don’t need to go to Malibu,” said Toulouse. She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her robe.

“Yeah,” Kevin agreed.  “Malibu’s out.  Your son built a house there, and a terrorist knocked it down.”

“What?”  Howard’s eyes widened.  “Is he okay? What happened?”

“Long story.  Christmas 2013,” said Kevin.  “But if you hid anything there, I’m sure he would have found it.”

“Definitely,” Toulouse agreed.  She got up and went to the desk, where Kevin was sitting with his computer.  “What’s the address of this mansion in New York?” she asked, reaching over his shoulder to access Google maps.

“1E 70th Street, Manhattan,” said Howard and Peggy in unison.

“That sounds familiar,” said Kevin with a frown. He typed it in, and a result came up.

“Oh!” Toulouse exclaimed.  “I’ve been there!  That’s the Stark Gallery – it’s an art museum!”

“It is?” asked Howard, surprised all over again.

“Absolutely,” Toulouse nodded.

Kevin selected a link.  “Yeah, says it was opened sometime in the nineties, in memory of Howard and Maria Stark.”

That didn’t sound like good news to Peggy.  “Then it can’t be there, either,” Peggy said. Surely somebody would have found a thing hidden in a museum.

“It still might,” Howard told her.  “One of the things I did when I repaired the vault was make sure it was better hidden.  I made it smaller, and I had plans to conceal the entrance.  If I managed to finish that, they might not have found it, even if they renovated the entire interior.”

“They’ve got a lot of rooms that still have the original furnishings,” Toulouse said.  “They might not even have done that.”

“You see?” Howard asked.  “They’ve got to be there!”

“It’ll be worth checking,” Peggy decided.  “Toulouse, you don’t have to keep helping us…”

“Yes, I do!”  Toulouse had already moved Kevin’s chair aside, and was looking up plane tickets.

“If your family really is involved in this, then it could be particularly dangerous for you,” said Peggy.  It was clear that Toulouse had already had a narrow escape during lunch with her brother, and by now HYDRA would certainly have noticed that she kept turning up where Howard and Peggy were.

“If my family is involved in this, then it’s my responsibility to do something about it,” Toulouse insisted. “Whatever they’re up to, I need to know about it!  I should have known about it already!”

“They deliberately hid it from you,” Peggy reminded her.  “It’s not your fault.”

“Well, I’ve been ignoring them because they ignore me,” said Toulouse.  “Maybe if I hadn’t been out shopping and getting degrees and stuff, I would have noticed something was up earlier!”

Peggy really didn’t know what to say to that.  Such things were always obvious in retrospect – she sometimes still lay awake at night wondering how she’d ever trusted Dr. Ivchenko.  “I understand you feeling that way,” she said cautiously, “and we do appreciate your help. But Toulouse, remember what I told you. If we say something is too dangerous for you, there can’t be any argument.  You need to sit it out.  Promise me that.”

Toulouse bit her lip, hesitating.

“Toulouse,” said Peggy firmly.  “Promise me.”

“I promise,” said Toulouse, but this time Peggy wasn’t sure she could believe her.

“How about you, Doc?” Howard asked Kevin.

“I work in Yellowstone,” said Kevin.  “If there are people who are planning to blow it up underneath me, then I shouldn’t stay there.  I’d rather be with the people who are trying to do something about the people trying to blow up Yellowstone. I know the geology of the region, too,” he added.  “So I might even be useful.”

“Looks like we’ve got help whether we like it or not,” said Howard with a smile.

In the morning they went looking for another thrift shop, because Peggy and Howard really needed more than two outfits each. Peggy found herself a blue floral blouse with elbow-length sleeves and a high enough collar not to show any cleavage, which was a relief – full-length sleeves were very uncomfortable in the California heat.  Howard, meanwhile, came out in a black shirt with a pattern of pink flamingos on it.

“If we were going back, I’d tell you to wear that just to see what Mr. Jarvis thinks,” Peggy told him.

“He’d probably throw something at me,” said Howard cheerfully.

Despite this banter, Howard was quiet on the drive to the airport, and Peggy was too.  She was sure she knew what he was thinking – her joke had reminded him, as it had her, that they were unlikely to ever see Edwin Jarvis again.  If he hadn’t died years ago, he would be very old now, and perhaps have lost his memory the way Peggy herself had.  So would Anna, and Angie, and Jason, and Daniel, and everybody else they’d ever met.  Even if they did see any of these people again, what could they possibly say to each other?  It wasn’t even as if anyone had thought Peggy and Howard were dead and would be overjoyed to find they were wrong.  In the minds of their friends, they’d been there all along, and now these imposters arrived out of nowhere.

“Peg?” Howard asked softly.

“Yes?”

“I don’t mean to sound like a schmuck,” he said. “But… I’m glad you stepped onto that platform with me.”

There were several things Peggy could have said in response to that.  She could have told him he’d better be, because if she hadn’t he would almost certainly have been shot.  She could have remarked that she wished he hadn’t felt a need to play with the bloody thing.  She could have commented on his use of the word schmuck, which was not something he would normally have said unless he were rolling drunk.

But instead she just squeezed his hand.  “It’s nice to be appreciated,” she said.

[bts-svt-mx]

Maid For You (Part 5) Taehyung x Reader (M), Jungkook x Reader

Author: bts-svt-mx

Taehyung x Reader

Jungkook x Reader

Rating: Fluff, M, slight smut

Tags: Enemies to Lovers AU, slight smut, slight exhibitionism?, Idol! Taehyung, Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader, Hoseok, mentions of other members

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (M), 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Word Count: 3,600

Description: Wanting to get out of your parents house and experience what the world had to offer is way more expensive than people tell you it will be. So when your glamorous “manager to the stars” cousin Hoseok hooks you up with a  job as the live-in maid for a hillside, massive mansion, you feel as though life might actually be looking up. That is until the mansion’s absentee high profile celebrity owner surprises you by moving back in leaving you to wonder if this mansion is big enough for you and his huge ego. 

previously...

Your words are firm and strong. You will not let him take advantage of you. “Go ahead. Get me fired. But I have never and will never tolerate being treated like this. Goodnight, Taehyung.”

And with that, you push past him walking straight back to your own wing of the mansion. Far, far away from that despicable man you left behind you.

The third thing you had learned about Taehyung: He truly had no boundaries.

Chapter 5:

It may have been the fact that Taehyung has been in and out of the house for the past few weeks for days at a time. It may have been the fact that you had yelled at him for treating you like his own personal slutty slave. 

Or, it may have been the strongly worded 3 page contract you wrote up after the day you denied his little “gift” outlining the boundaries you were setting up for yourself, the tasks required of you in this job, and what was ‘his space’ and ‘your space’ complete with a map of the house and everything. It honestly could have been a combination of those things but you really didn’t care because Taehyung had finally ceased all of his frivolous requests for you.

No more stupid errands of his to run, no more pointless deep cleaning of rooms no one ever goes into, and most importantly, no more of his demeaning words and poorly veiled come-ons. You had successfully returned back to your normal routine around the mansion of doing what you were actually paid to do.

Everything was all quiet again. Or so you thought.

Though Taehyung was absent throughout the week days, he had traded in his relentless requests of your aid for weekly Friday night raging parties hosted in the grand foyer and subsequent kitchen, dining room, living room, lounging areas, game room, and main balcony of the mansion.

It was the 4th week in a row now that Taehyung has thrown a party. And not just any type of party. No, these parties were just short of a full on Las Vegas nightclub with the amount of people and alcohol present. Celebrities, groupies, management companies, socialites, and of course the random people who had managed to weasel their way in were all present at these shindigs.  

And these parties would last all night long. With the last people still passed out on the living room floor at 6AM the next morning.

Though the party was always contained to the 2nd floor of the mansion, since that was technically the ground level of the house, the clean up was still a multi day process with how huge this place was. But your personal wing of the mansion was off limits. And Taehyung knew that. In fact, it was one of the requests of yours that boy had always actually respected even before your self written contract.

You always took careful precautions to make sure that no one could disturb you or your things. And if anyone dared to enter that area of the house… you couldn’t even think of the hell you would unleash on Taehyung and his stupid “guests”.

------

“I really don’t know how much more I can take, Minjee,” Letting out a huge sigh, you complain to one of your dance class friends on the phone. You had managed to make friends with a decent amount of people during your classes and explorations throughout the city but never told them too much about your life at the mansion. In fact, Minjee was really the only one out of all of them you trusted enough to tell where you lived and who you worked for. That was because she was pretty much like your sister and you knew you could trust her with anything.

“Well if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Come on, Y/N, you need to let loose. Taehyung has practically cornered you in your side of the house with these parties. Show him you’re not the stiff he thinks you are! Besides, think of all the celebrities that could be there!”

Well she wasn’t wrong. This place would definitely be crawling with high profile, young celebrities. Not that you truly cared about famous people anymore now that you’ve seen how pretentious and rude they can be thanks to Taehyung. But Minjee definitely hit it on the nose with the part about you needing to let go.

Taehyung had made you so tense and anxious and stressed these past couple of weeks that you needed to be free. To drink, to dance, to have fun. And if Taehyung wasn’t going to respect your right to a good night of sleep then you might as well utilize everything this stupid party has to offer right?

Plus, who would turn down free alcohol?

So you decided to get your butt out of bed to get ready to head out. Using your adequate makeup skills, and picking out your favorite clubbing dress hugging your body in the best ways, you step out of your room and make your way out of the door to your wing of the mansion.

As soon as you open your door you’re greeted by the back of a bulky man dressed in a nice black suit. Umm who is this guy? Tapping lightly on his shoulder the man turns around in front of you and gives you a polite smile. He doesn’t say anything but you notice he’s wearing an earpiece with a clear wire connecting it to the lapel of his suit jacket. He nods to you and you think you can hear what sounds like security updates coming from his earpiece. 

In front of you and across the hall from him stands another man dressed identical to him. Well that explains why no one has even tried to get into your wing of the mansion during the past couple of week’s parties. There are security guards posted everywhere.

You could say a lot of bad things about Taehyung but at least you knew he was responsible as to making sure nothing really bad happened in his house. Locking your bedroom door and brushing past the unfamiliar guards you take a deep breath and walk towards the booming music.

Downing your third shot from the bartender in the great hall of the main living room, you look around taking in the transformed rooms. Colorful strobe lights swirl around you as an almost full room of young famous singers, actors, groupies, and completely random other party goers grind on each other on the dance floor, each of them trying to forget the struggles and pressures of their everyday lives. Just like you were.

You honestly could barely recognize the place. You had seen it go unused for so long. You had once wished this place would be used to its full potential but not like this. You were thinking more along the lines of nice dinner parties and benefits for charities. You know, grown up stuff. But instead, it was filled with people who only cared about being seen, hooking up, and getting wasted.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but this new setup confused you. How did that dance floor even get here? Who set this all up? And who is paying for all of this shit?

As if to answer your question, a bunch of squealing girls catch your attention as they all flock around Taehyung at the other end of the large living room/night club. His hair is a half bright pink and half bright yellow combination now. It had been a few days since you saw him last with his normal blonde hair around the house and for some reason the fact that he was glowing like a glass of strawberry lemonade made you even more annoyed by the aura he was exuding.  A lazy, cocky smile flashes across his face but it’s soon replaced by that distant stare you had seen him wear many times before. He’s sat on the edge of one of the nicest couches in the whole mansion along with about 5 other random people you have never seen before in your life. Not surprising since you don’t actually really know anyone here besides Taehyung and the random celebrities you have only seen on TV and magazines.

One of the five people sitting on the couch drunkenly spills their red cup all over themselves and the couch earning a cheer from those around him and a severe grimace from both you and Taehyung simultaneously across the room. Ugh, you’re going to have to hire someone to clean that thing tomorrow. There’s no way you could get that stain out yourself. You suddenly feel the need to drink enough to forget about all of the cleaning up you’ll have to do in the morning. You flick your hand towards the bartender with a sweet smile beckoning him to pour you another shot. 

Just barely finishing the last drop, suddenly a hand lands like a clap on your shoulder causing you to almost choke on the sickening taste of the vodka.

Oh hell no, you did not come out here to be manhandled by some random man. Who the fuck does this person thi-

“CUZZZZ!!! Man, am I surprised to see you here!” A beaming smile meets your scowling face which instantly softens when you see Hoseok's twinkling eyes in front of you. Of course. You should’ve expected him to be here. He is Taehyung’s manager after all, and to be honest, he might have actually organized part of this party.

Turning around in your swivel chair, you flash a happy grin at your cousin who’s actually physically standing in front of you. Instantly, he grabs you out of your chair spinning you around and hugging you tightly, giggling with you as you let out a tiny squeal of happiness.

It has been almost a year since you had last seen him in the flesh. Sure you pretty much talk to him on the phone or over facetime every other day but there’s something different about seeing a person actually in front of you. You truly hadn’t realized how much you missed the dumb idiot. But he was your idiot, your family.

Hugging him tightly back, you realize this is the first real laugh you’ve experienced since- Well, since before meeting Taehyung. Hoseok eventually puts you down after making somewhat of a scene to those around you at the bar but he doesn’t let go of your arm.

“Y/N I want you to meet some of my friends!” Pulling you away from the bar and out the of the wall to wall glass paneled exit to the balcony overlooking the garden and pool, Hoseok lands you right in front of a group of laughing guys talking amongst themselves. Some you vaguely recognize from pictures of Hoseok’s he’s always showing you but most you don’t know.

You stumble a little at his abrupt stop and also due to the fact that you rarely ever wear heels. They hurt a little bit when you first put them on earlier, but at this point, you were too numb from the alcohol to care.

Hoseok greets his friends and gestures to you. “Y/N meet the boys! This is Yoongi,” He points to an intimidating shorter, silver haired man on his left with a shy smile. He nods in acknowledgment in your direction before continuing his conversation with someone next to him. “He’s one of the two main producers on Taehyung’s label.” You try to hide the instinct to blanch at the mention of Taehyung’s name. Yoongi seems chill enough though, maybe not the friendliest, but he seemed like if you got to know him he’d be cool.  

Next, Hoseok turns to a tall, handsome, and authoritative looking man to Yoongi’s left whose gaze is already on you. His face lights up with a comforting smile and he extends his hand out to you which you take with a warm smile back. “I’m Namjoon, Taehyung’s other main producer,” His low voice speaks. Woah his hand was so big and soft.. And his dimples were a mile deep. He exuded confidence and comfort. You imagine he would be the perfect man to settle down with if you lived a different life than you do. If you were actually someone in this world...

Pulling you out of your thoughts, a shorter, attractive, dirty blonde haired boy in front of you pulls you into a tight hug. “I’m Jimin! I’m Taehyung’s choreographer!” His grin is so wide and bright white as he pulls back from the embrace, he’s almost blinding. Looking at him was like looking at the sun. Or a field of bright sunflowers on a cloudless day.

Finally, Hoseok turns to the smiling boy on his right, clapping a hand on his shoulder much like he did earlier with you. “And this is the Golden Maknae of the label, Jeon Jungkook! Y/N, Jungkook. Jungkook, meet my super great, super single cousin Y/N,” At that Hoseok raises his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oof!” Hoseok gasps as you send a direct elbow to his stomach knocking the wind out of him before you flash your flirtiest grin and extend your hand out towards Jungkook. You didn’t notice him when you first walked up because of the new firey red hairstyle he was sporting probably for his next comeback. In contrast to his hair, his features were so soft and handsome, young but dripping sex appeal at the same time.

Oh if last year’s version of you could see you now. Staring right into the dreamy eyes of the newest and hottest artist in the country.  “Nice to meet you Jungkook,” The words come out from your mouth like sugar, the alcohol making you more bold than you would usually be in this type of situation as you slink your dainty hand out in his direction.

Catching your gaze fully, you notice Jungkook’s eyes grow slightly more intense and his smile turn into a full on smirk as his arms extends towards yours. His muscles straining all the way through his tight leather jacket. The way he slides his hand into yours sends shivers down the pads of your palm and fingertips, through you arm, and down your body.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N,”

-----

The music flows through you involuntarily making your hips sway in time with the beat. Around you in the middle of the dance floor, you can feel a few pairs of eyes on you as you start to get more into the music, letting it take over your senses. Blood pumping in time with the beat, alcohol surging through your veins after you had taken a few more shots with Hoseok earlier. Nothing mattered right now and nothing could bring you down. It had been such a long time since you last felt this way and you weren’t about to let that feeling go.

You knew you looked good and you knew you were attracting attention. It was clear that the sexy dress you picked out earlier was successful in doing its job and that fact only made you enjoy yourself even more. Stumbling again on your heels during a particularly good part of the song now blasting through the speakers, you fall slightly backwards regaining your balance but in doing so you bump into a hard body behind you that catches your arm.

Oh jeez, you were already clumsy sober, adding in a lot more drinks and dancing into that equation definitely did not help.

“I’m so sorr-” Your head whips to look behind you at who you just bumped in your drunken state and you’re met by Jungkook’s soft smile as he chuckles slightly. The room around you doesn’t seem to stop spinning in circles but Jungkook and his beauty remains clear in front of you.

He looks so hot in these multi-colored lights. Green, blue, red, purple, orange. Each color that flickers over his face makes him look even more attractive than the previous color.

“On second thought, I’m actually not that sorry,” You beam with the flirtiest smile you can manage.

Making no moves to separate yourself from his hold, you turn back around in place to resume your dancing, hoping he would get the message you were so clearly not trying to hide. Jungkook was cute. Scratch that, he was incredibly sexy. In his tight black shirt showing off his strong arm muscles and skin tight black jeans making his thighs bulge in all the right places. You vaguely remember him wearing a leather jacket earlier but you don’t blame him for shedding it at some point during the night. It was so hot in here and it wasn’t just because of the close proximity of the many sweaty dancing bodies around you.

Muscular hands land on your hips from behind, helping them return back to the rhythm you just had going as Jungkook pulls you towards him. Your backside lightly pressed against his front. Ah, there we go. You knew he was smart enough to pick up on your flirting earlier when Hoseok first introduced you two. To be completely honest, you had only really wanted to dance by yourself tonight, but you saw the way Jungkook was looking at you earlier and his hands… Oh god, his hands were working magic as his thumbs lightly rubbed your hips through your thin dress.

You welcomed your new dance partner, finding that the dancing skills you’ve seen in the few videos you’ve watched of him did not disappoint. Mentally you thank yourself for the dance lessons you’ve been going to as you begin to gain more confidence in your movements with him.

Both Jungkook and your hips sway perfectly in time but you want more. No one has touched you in so long, save for that one night a month ago when Taehyung had deviously put his arms on you and whispered in your ear and we all know how that turned out. But you didn’t want to think about Taehyung’s stupid attractiveness and douchebag-ness right now. Jungkook is right where he needs to be here and now and he’s doing all of the right things.

The need to be closer to him grows inside of you and it could only be the liquid courage in you that wills you to push your ass closer to him. You didn’t care if you would regret this in the morning. This felt way too good. And who in their right mind would give up the opportunity of dancing with one of the hottest boys in the world?

Your hips follow the beat of the music, first to a faster pop song then you slow it down with more calculated moves when it transitions to a slower, sexier song. Jungkook’s hard breathing matches yours and if there was any indication by the way Jungkook tightens his grip on your hips and moves his head to slip into the crook of your neck, he was definitely enjoying this too.

Following a particularly slow grind of your hips, Jungkook’s low groan against your neck and the light touch of his lips to your skin spurs you on to continue the movement every so often as you tilt your head lightly back inviting him to suck on the most sensitive part of your skin. You had always been a neck girl and god did it feel good with his lips moving against yours.

Jungkook’s hands slide down your soft, red dress, rubbing lightly along your thighs. One hand running back up past your stomach just barely reaching the underside of your breast, the other hand staying closer to the inside of your right thigh, kneading the sensitive spot so close to where you wanted him so desperately. He pushes you closer with the hand pressed against your thigh, which adds more pressure to his hardening bulge behind you.

Jungkook’s hips thrust perfectly behind you in time with the music. Before you can stop yourself, you let out a low moan surprising yourself as Jungkook leaves more of his sloppy kisses and no doubt a hickey or two on your neck. “God, Y/N you’re so beautiful,” Jungkook whispers next to your ear in between his assault on your neck. You can’t help but moan again, louder this time at a particular hard grind of his hips paired with his own low groan against you. Your eyes snap open. Did anyone hear that? And is anyone else here noticing that you’re basically one step away from having sex on this dance floor?

Looking at the other couples and strangers around you, too occupied in their own affairs and dancing, you realizes no one was really paying attention to you or Jungkook. There wasn’t anyone here taking pictures, seeing as most of the people that came here were celebrities that didn’t want their dirty dancing escapades and hookups broadcasted on every gossip site. Everyone here was too busy reveling in their own sinful ways to notice yours.

Indulging in the fact that no one is looking at Jungkook and you, you move one of your hands to rest over Jungkook’s hand that is still kneading your right thigh. Taking control, you move it towards your center where you need him the most and let your other hand slide in between your two bodies, squeezing Jungkook’s own muscular thighs behind you, earning a low groan and a barely audible “fuck” coming from Jungkook.

You don’t have to guide him anymore as Jungkook gets the hint of what you wanted him to do. His fingers graze your bundle of nerves at your center tracing the same circular motion in which your hips are swaying. Slow and teasing as your hand moves from his thigh to his hard member behind you. Both Jungkook’s and your breathing growing fast and shaky as you work your hands on each other.

You turn your head towards Jungkook once more, lips so close to one another, you could smell the expensive whisky in his breath and he could probably smell the vodka in yours too. Jungkook’s lustful eyes lazily graze over your face finally landing on your lips. His hips and hands still moving with skill to the beat of the song as you palm each other over your clothes. Being this close, you realize how this boy really deserves to be one of the up and coming hot new pop stars. He’s so attractive. Sexy with a hint of innocence that you’re sure makes women of all ages keep coming back for more.

Girls must be falling all over him.

You were falling all over him.

Your eyes land on his lips soon after you’re done exploring his beauty in your drunken state. He’s so close, one slight move towards him and finally your lips connect with each other. First slow and gentle but soon turning into a more needy kiss. And you swear. You swear you’re one minute away from taking him back to your room and just having your way with him. Finally being able to properly hear those sweet moans he’s been spewing in the privacy of your own room in your big bed as he peppers those soft lips all the way down your body to your-

“WHERE DID IT GO?” A deep, exasperated voice booms so loud you can even hear it over the music filling the room making you break your kiss with Jungkook. Was that someone yelling? Was there a fight or something? You look around to see if anyone was reacting to the strange yell you just heard but almost everyone is still lost in their own world. Including Jungkook who doesn’t seem to notice your distraction as he continues kneading his hands on you and swaying to the music. 

“WHERE DID IT GO?” The voice booms again.

This time you’re sure you hear it. You would know that voice and that tone anywhere but you hoped that maybe just maybe he wasn’t talking to you. You don’t see the source of the yell so you turn your gaze once more back to Jungkook and lean in again before-

“Y/N!”

Ah, shit.

<-- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter -->

[btsjfans]

Pay Up (Pt 1)

Summary: Your parents only wanted what was best for you, so when they set you up with billionaire playboy Park Jimin, they thought you were set for life. Little did they know how he got his fortune, and how he keeps it..

Jimin x Reader, some fluff, smut, action, gang-stuff, illegal business-y stuff, the whole nine yards

for part one, expect smut, and fluff

masterlist

“Are you sure he’ll even like me?” You stare at your reflection and bite your lip. Your maid, Anita, chuckled and continued to brush  your hair. You came from one of the richest families in the country, and you were reaching the age where you should probably get married. You were 22 now, and although arranged marriages technically didn't exist anymore, in the upper class where you belonged, business strategized marriages did. 

Yeah, you’d dated some rich guys, but none ever stuck. They didn’t get you. They were too egotistical for your liking, and even your parents weren’t fond of them. You felt like you’d dated every rich guy in your league, but apparently you had not. There was still Park Jimin, although you’d have to argue he was out of your league. He was the most attractive man you’ve ever seen, and also the richest for his age. His money was his own, and not his parents. He was a self made businessman, and a charming one at that. He’d recently met your father at a meeting, and they agreed to set up a date for you two. Your dad loved him, and it was apparent they wanted this to work. Admittedly, you did too. You’d done your research on this guy, and he seemed like the best guy ever. He donated to charity, he was well dressed, charming, attractive, treated his associates well, and very smart. He seemed like somebody you could see yourself being with, and you hoped he would see it the same way. 

“Y/n, of course he’ll like you. Just look at you!” Anita smiled, and stepped away from her work proudly. You stood up and looked at yourself. 

Your hair was curled intricately, and looked loose but put together. Your makeup brought out your features, and made you look elegant, but it was still a simple look. Your dress was a dark blue, and was fit and flare. It was off the shoulder with a sweetheart neckline, and stopped just above the knees, to make you look casual but elegant. You had a delicate silver and diamond encrusted necklace decorating your neck and collarbone, and black heels. Even you had to admit, you looked beautiful. 

“I’m nervous.” You admitted, and Anita shook her head and smiled. She was a few years older than you, just turned 30. She’d been your maid since you were 10, and she was 18. She’d help you grow up, and she honestly was your best friend. 

She walked you out to the black car that waited outside for you, and helped you in. “I better hear stories when you get home!” She laughed as you rolled your eyes sliding in. As the car pulled away, you watched your mansion disappear over the horizon. If tonight went well, that wouldn’t be your home for much longer. 

You were the youngest in your family, your brother was the oldest, and the heir. He was married and worked with your father to run the business that he’d be taking over someday. Your sister had been married for 4 years, and had been teasing you about being single forever now. You hoped you’d end up like her, happily married, living lavish, and staying on the good side of the media. 

You hated silent car rides. It was 30 minutes of silence as you drove to the uptown restaurant to meet Jimin. You guys were going to be dining on the rooftop, and as you neared you felt your heart rate increase. As you stepped out of the car, paparazzi crowded you, cameras flashing, voices calling your name. You just looked down and hurried into the restaurant, where an escort waited to take you up to the roof. 

As the elevator opened, you saw him. He sat at a candlelit table, wearing a navy suit with a white shirt under, and a dark red tie. His black hair was messy but styled nonetheless. As you left tonight you thought you looked beautiful, but in all honesty this is what true beauty looks like. 

He stands up as he sees you, and holds out a hand to you as he pulls a chair out for you to sit in. As you approach he catches your hand in his and kisses your hand. 

“Y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Park Jimin.” He smiles, and you can tell it’s genuine. You suddenly feel more relaxed in his presence. 

The dinner was only supposed to last from 9-10:30, but you two stay on that rooftop talking until 12. You haven't had this much fun with anybody in a while. You felt like you could be real with him, and like he really understood you. You talked about everything and anything, from family, to work, to hobbies, it all. Your favorite thing from the night was his laugh. It just made you happy to hear it, and it continually brought a smile to your face. 

You two would’ve stayed out longer, but the restaurant was closing. 

“Y/n, I want you to know, tonight was the best night I’ve had in a while. I really like you, and I want to do this again. Can I have your number?” He smiled sheepishly, and you blushed and put your number in. Just as you turned to leave, he caught your hand in his and pulled you back, pressing your cheek to his before brushing his lips across your jaw, sending chills down your spine. “Until next time, goodnight.” He smiles and walks out, leaving you breathless on the roof with your escort. 

You pull out your phone and type a text to Anita. 

To: Anita

I’ve got some stories for you..

You wake up the next morning to a text from Jimin, much to your delight.

Jimin

I had an amazing time with you, and honestly I can’t get you out of my mind. Can I see you again today?

“NITA!” you call, excitedly rolling out of bed and pulling your hair back. Anita runs in, and squeals jumping with you as you both read the text. 

“I’ll go ask your mom if you’re open for today!” Nita practically flew out of the room. You sit on the edge of your bed smiling and staring at the text. You had butterflies in your stomach. You don’t remember the last time you had butterflies at all. You laid back on your bed and bit your lip as you smiled, thinking back on your date. The way he held your hand across the table the whole time, his hand tightening around yours as he laughed, how as he got lost in his words or yours his fingers would trace designs absently across your hand. How his dark eyes shined in the candlelight. How he hardly touched his food because he was too busy talking, or laughing. How he calmed your nerves with just his touch, and the sound of his voice. How he cast a spell on you within minutes. How you wanted nothing more than to see him again. 

“Miss Y/n?” Anita was back, and you sat up. “You’re free to go.” She grinned and you excitedly texted back.

“Y/n?” Jimin knocked on your door softly, giving you a rush of excitement at the sound of his voice. You grinned at yourself in the mirror and stood up. You’d finished putting the final touches on yourself. Your hair still had waves left in it from the night before, so you brushed it out leaving loose waves. You wore a simple black v neck that fit your form beautifully, and black jeans with rips in the knees, paired with red vans and a simple gold necklace. You grabbed your bag and opened the door, smiling as you met him face to face. He wore a dark red button-down and black jeans with rips and black tennis shoes. You smiled at the way your outfits looked good together. 

“Hi,” You said, wanting to sound happy and cute, but instead sounding shy. 

“Hi,” He said, imitating your voice, making you both laugh a little. “You look beautiful,” He says, his eyes shining.

“Thank you,” You laugh and take his hand in yours and lead him out. You’re surprised at your boldness since you usually wouldn’t just do that, but being around him fills you with this energy. Like you want to go out and live, and never stop. “What did you have in mind for today?” You ask as you both get into the black town car. He keeps your hand tight in his own as the car pulls down the driveway. 

“Well, I figured I could show you what I do, and then take you to my favorite places in the city. Sound good?” He smiles and tilts his head, his black hair catching in the light. 

“Sounds wonderful. Tell me more about what you do,” you smile and relax against the carseat and turn to face him, pulling one leg up on the seat, keeping your hand in his own. 

“Ah I love what I do. I’m kind of an art geek. I didn’t think I’d ever become what I am today, but I used to work in an art museum. I got an art history degree, and started spending all my hours at this museum before I became a curator. I started to hold tons of charity events and stuff to get income for the museum, and it kinda became a big deal, and soon I was being offered tons of money to showcase more art, and work at new art exhibitions, which leads me to present day. I’m an art curator and collector pretty much, which sounds boring really but I love it. I just..art is just so beautiful. I’ve seen so many masterpieces..but I’d have to say that the most beautiful work of art is right in front of me.” He smiles sheepishly at the cheesy line, but you’re delighted, and can’t hold back your smile. 

“Jimin,” You smile and laugh a little and shake your head. To be honest, you didn’t know what made you happier: hearing him gush about art, or hear him compliment you like that. 

“Look Y/n, I know this may seem fast, but I really like you. I think you’re beautiful, and smart, and you’re so fun to talk to, and I just feel like you get me in a way nobody else has. And if it’s not too bold of me..I’d like to be with you.” He looks up at you from his sunny seat, his dark eyes shining, and a smile gracing the curve of his lips. 

“I..” You’re left at a loss for words, and you giggle, despite yourself, and nod. “I’d like that a lot Jimin, I feel the same way.” You grin as he does, and he pulls you against him as the car continues down the road. He holds you to his side, and you two talk the rest of the ride, although your mind is kind of fuzzy as you take in everything about him. The way he smells, the firmness of his arm, and way your body lays against his, how his head is tilted to rest against yours. 

“This is it,” He says with a smile as he guides you into the large, beautiful museum. He keeps his hands on your shoulders as he walks you in, and you can’t help but let your jaw drop as you take it all in. It’s triple level, with statues and paintings alike, with natural light streaming in from high windows, and endless hallways leading to different wings. “This is where it all started, but of course it didn’t look like this when I began. I’m proud to say I’m the reason it looks the way it does.” The two of you spend almost 2 hours walking around the museum, him keeping at least one hand on you at all times. He gushes about his favorite pieces, but never takes his eyes off of you. 

By the time your little tour with him finishes, you notice that the museum is completely absent of people. “Jimin, where are all the patrons?” You tilt your head.

“Ah, I wanted your tour to be extra special so I closed it for today. Is that too weird?” He smiles sheepishly and you grin, feeling your heart swell at yet another one of his kind gestures. 

“No, it’s sweet.” 

The two of you walk around the city, hitting all of yours, and his favorite places. You hold hands and reminisce on memories like an old couple, your cheeks almost tired from smiling so much. You two stop at a cafe to get a bite to eat, when he gets a phone call. A shadow of a frown flickers across his face as he reads the caller ID. You’re confused because you've never seen even a shadow of annoyance on him like this, but then again its been 2 days. 

“Excuse me a minute.” He drops your hand and walks out of the cafe, and you watch him through the window. His brows draw together in an annoyed frown, and he runs a hand through his hair. He moves his mouth slowly, speaking slow but calculated. You wonder what’s so troubling on the phone right now, but you don’t want to pry this early into your relationship. His call lasts 10 minutes, and you hold off eating until he gets back. He walks back in, looking annoyed but he smiles at you anyway. “So sorry, business was pressing. Now where were we?” 

It’s 8:30, and you two have spent the last 8 hours together, you’ve been all over the city, and now you’re all over each other. You two went back to his mansion, and what started out as an innocent house tour turned into something else. 

You're not usually one to move so fast, but things with Jimin seem different. Since the first meeting, you’d felt like you’d known him forever, and even today felt like you’d done this kind of thing all the time. And to be honest, you didn’t care how fast you were moving with him. For you, a young heiress, the city was just a playground, and Jimin knew his way around both a playground, and your body. 

You two had wandered into his room as he showed you around. You’d come in hand in hand, and ended up pinned to a wall, his lips rough against your own. You’d never had a guy take charge like this, and honestly, you liked it. Usually you took charge, but having him hold you there and kiss you got your heart pounding and turned you on honestly. His hands tugged at the hem of your shirt needily, and his breath was hot against your lips. You felt your cheeks heat up, but you separated for a moment so you could pull off your shirt. 

He licked his lips, and his eyes widened as they traveled up and down your frame. “God Y/n, you  just get more and more beautiful don’t you,” He breaths before his hands slide onto your waist and he pulls you onto the bed with him, sitting you on his lap and laying back so you’re straddling him as you two kiss passionately, his hands hot against your skin, wandering up and down and all over, sending chills on your arms and legs. Your hands slip to the hem of his shirt and you trace over his stomach lightly and he chuckles against your lips before tossing off his own shirt, and raises an eyebrow as your eyes widen and you giggle at his cocky reaction. 

“Stop it,” you giggle and he grins and laughs tickling you and you squeal and roll off him hitting him with a pillow, and you two start to play fight for a bit before you end up pinned under him, both of you breathing heavily, faces only inches apart. 

“Do you want to do this?” His voice is heavy and raspy, and his eyes are alight with a fiery passion you hadn't seen before. Before you can even think you find yourself nodding, and his lips are already on your neck, sucking and nibbling as he works his way down down, his lips trailing down the cloth of your bra, through the valley of your breasts. He looks up at you through hooded eyes as his fingers trace around your torso, fingers fiddling with the clasp of your bra. He works it off within seconds and his eyes darken as he takes in the view of your breasts. “Oh, y/n,” he breaths, before he attacks your nipple with his lips, sucking and nibbling. You let out a moan and curl your toes as your fingers work their way into his dark, thick hair. He smirks with satisfaction and fiddles with the top button of your jeans when your phone rings and he chuckles but you can tell he’s kind of annoyed as he climbs off of you and grabs your phone holding it out to you. You’re breathless, and your face is hot. You don’t want to talk to anybody right now, and you inwardly cringe as you see it’s your mom calling. 

“Hi mom,” you sigh and Jimin laughs at the ironical timing. “No, I won’t be home till late, don’t wait up.” you quickly hang up and toss the phone aside, groaning. The mood is totally gone, especially now that your mom just interrupted you. 

“Hey, we can wait to work up the mood again, we have all the time in the world, don’t we?” He smiles and slides back in next to you and you nod smiling a little.  

He pulls you against him and presses his lips softly to your neck, letting his hands travel up and down your torso, tracing your spine and every curve. 

“You’re just so beautiful,” He sighs contentedly against your collarbone,  giving you goosebumps. 

“I could say the same you to,” You say breathlessly and your breath catches as he nips at your skin. Your hands trail down his back before tugging at the waistband of his jeans. He looks up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, before his lips roughly attach to yours again, and his hands go south, wasting no time. 

The next morning you wake up under silky sheets, the smell of designer cologne in the air, but something else too. Something more familiar, safer even. There are warm arms around you, and you blink awake. You lay on your back, with Jimin’s head on your shoulder and his arms around your waist. You smile and lay your head back, biting your lip.  “I wish it could be like this every day,” You sigh.

“It can be,” His voice responds to yours softly.

Sooooo I was watching this crime show and this idea came to mind, and I know I didn't really get into anything gang-esque or whatever in part 1, but I felt like I needed to set it up ya know? Anyway, I hope you liked it, I really like this idea and I want to write a part 2 soon, so let me know what you think. Thanks!!

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

a very late fuck squad update: “i had a really good cliffhanger written but then you guys yelled a lot.”

sorry i’m late on this! i was finishing off some notes for tomorrow and realized i never actually posted a summary for last week. whoops

Started the recording just after Saida started saying ”that’s gonna be the name of my chick punk band.” Lost whatever gem that was to the ages.

Saida: “So I have a confession. [fills mouth with cake] Iunno how to play this game.”

“Stop being so fucking mirthful in my house.”

Saida: “I’m sorta resentful that I rolled so good.” ”Those stats represent, like, who you are as a fucking person.” Saida: “YOU’RE who you are as a fucking person!” “…. yes! Technically!”

Yoni: “I have an 18 in Wisdom!” Saida: “So what’s your excuse?”

We finally started playing a solid 9 minutes into the recording. Christ.

Saida: “Did the thing i said about all the pie I eat make it onto the recording?” “It’s on there now.”

First roll of the session is to determine how hungover Sergei and Saida are. This is how our game is going.

Saida’s first action having turned over a new moral leaf is to go through Enro Monsterblower’s pockets, shake him awake and kick him out of the hotel room.

Saida: “now that I know I’m good at everything I’m willing to try things.”

I made some truly fantastic snoring noises that convinced Rhonia and Sergei that there are werewolves in Chillwater.

“I’m gonna wake him up and make casual conversation about all the murder.”

Saida: “How did you get here?” “You… you invited me back here.” Saida: “That sounds like something I would do.” “It was, you did do that-” Saida: “I don’t need your backtalk.”

Saida: “I handcuff him.” “Do you have handcuffs?” “I 100 percent do, I’m Macgyver. Actual handcuffs, I stole them from Lord Acotar.” “Right… You’re not Macgyver at all, you’re a thief! That’s not what Macgyver did. Hey, I’ll make a grappling hook by stealing this grappling hook!”

Harde messages them to point out that maybe they shouldn’t be using official channels to plan drunk roller coaster adventures. Saida: “I write ‘Uh oh.’”

Harde and Narder have not made much progress on tracking down Cheeda, the maid who was fired. She didn’t show up at home and they haven’t found any records of her looking for a new job in town. Having discovered one fact about the case, we return to the Case Of Saida Invited Some Dude To Stay The Night And Then He Did That.

Rhonia: “I see if the snow is magical!” “Presumably you’re detecting magic and not just, like, tasting the snow to see if it gives you magic tingles.” Saida: “I wanna do that!”

Rhonia is wrapped up in a big hotel comforter and she goes to Saida’s room to get her out of having to deal with the dude she just slept with. Saida throws his pants at him and tells him to get out of her room. She also tells everyone about the magic snow.

“Oh, before breakfast I was gonna go help shovel the snow-” Saida: “IT’S MAGIC SNOW”

Saida: “I think I either have an apology letter to write or someone to avoid. One of the two.”

Maddela’s new sexual partner, Idina, who invented cigarettes, starts smoking, and when asked to stop, just puts it out on the back of her arm. “She’s my new favorite character, fuck all you guys.”

Saida: “I’m gonna try and look presentable just in case.” Rhonia: “I’m still in the blanket.”

“We need to know what your hairstyle is, Saida, it’s really important to the plot!”

Saida: “Any land deals? Developers? Do they exist?” “No, and no developers. We own most of this mountain.” “Smart business move.” “Owning a mountain? Yes.”

Yoni: “Alright I think i cracked it. It’s ecoterrorists.”

Rhonia eats the snow. A 9 perception reveals that it tastes like snow. And her mouth is cold now.

Saida: “It’s amazing how more together I look when I’m not drunk and you’re you.”

Saida: “Well as long as we can dig a pathway we’ll be alright.” “Oh, you’re going to help dig a pathway? “[scoff] of course not.”

Rhonia and Yoni get sent over to interrogate Tarand. He doesn’t know who cast the snow spells, and is kind of indignant at the assumption that he would.

Saida: “I’m judging him for the fact that he almost married me. Dumbass.”

“She’s making jokes about not knowing how to play Pathfinder.” Yoni: “I don’t need to joke. I’m living it.”

Rhonia: “There are… some things…. it would be handy to have a wizard for…. Do you know any necromancy?”He doesn’t know any real necromancy. Saida writes in the book that she’s been drunk for two days so now Harde and Narder know. Also a bunch of insults.

“Dates don’t exist, this is fantasy time!”

“The name doesn’t ring a bell.” Saida: “Is that because she said gnomeface instead of his actual name?”

We renamed the himbo Garfunkel because I kept forgetting his name.

Tarand met both Shareena and Garfunkel in the hotel bar, didn’t have much contact with them outside that. Yoni goes back to the table and Rhonia continues the interrogation. She finds out that Tarand could potentially try to stop the snow, and that teleporting objects is possible.

“He has two plates. One has pancakes, one has waffles. He’s rich. That’s what being rich means.”

Rhonia then gets a 30 to intimidate Tarand, takes his waffles, and walks away eating them.

A very long discussion where we all try to do math trying to figure out how to burn their way through the snow.

Saida: “Did you people not hire a fake fantasy civil engineer?”

Rhonia: “Are you gonna Legolas it?”

Sergei casts Featherstep which lets Pashmina walk on snow, and Garfunkel is out there putting blankets on the horses, having waded through the snow.

Saida draws a dick in the notebook and tries to frame Yoni for it.

Sergei and Pashmina bound out over the snow to the equipment shed to get the plow and snowshoes for everyone. Saida sews herself a coat out of a blanket for herself, Yoni, and Rhonia.

Saida: “It’s almost like someone came prepared for this winter resort.” Maddela: “No, I just steal shit.”

Saida: “That sounds arbitrary. Like, Canada 1969 abortion laws arbitrary.”

It was established that Tarand is powerful enough to do all the magic they’ve seen so far.

Saida: “I don’t understand why he was in a snit about the fact that I was drunk for two days!”

Due to forgetting horse terms, Sergei gets “debriefing his horse” and chats with Garfunkel.

Saida: “It’s not a heavy petting zoo!”

Sergei tries to push off blame for the Saida situation despite being an instigator, tells Garfunkel that Saida didn’t kill Shareena.

“I remember she was causing a scene as she went out- I heard she was yelling, and throwing things. I think Tarand has a type.”

Sergei: “She was a…. professional.” “Professional? Professional what? I don’t think she was a lawyer.”

Yoni rolls to snap her fingers, rolls pretty low, and gets covered in leftover syrup from Rhonia’s pancakes.

“I’m gonna let you guys take 10 on snapping your fingers.”

Sprit doesn’t know of any gnomes in the area, and she didn’t know that Cheeda didn’t show up at home. She lets them see her teleportation charm, and reveals that there are more in Llydor’s office.

A request has been made to meet Scrote the Ogre but that’s gonna require one hell of a GM bribe. There was a break for Rhonia’s player to tell us the story of a GM who named his world Anustear by accident. Whoops.

Sprit says she didn’t see Laurelia before she died, but gets caught out and admits that she was paid to deliver a letter. She had been asked not to tell.

Yoni: “I’m lying that she can trust me!”

“It’s weird that you’re trying to ingratiate yourself to a woman you’ve had sex with by acting like a child.”

Saida uses her gauntlet to read one of Sprit’s memories. She doesn’t do a hit. Sprit has been asked to deliver notes to Scrom in the past from a mysterious person that she doesn’t know.

Yoni: “We’ve got it, Bobbie, Bobbie’s the murderer!” “You’ve solved it, you’ve found me out, I murdered my own characters and you’re next!” “What if I don’t believe in god?” “I’m gonna double murder you because you’re a cleric.”

They get Llydor to show them the extra teleportation charms, and it’s revealed that two are missing. He also agrees to bring up the guestbooks from the past month, and tells them that he doesn’t have contracts for all the employees. Saida brings up that Llydor is treating his employees badly. Then they all go to dinner. Everyone discusses the questions that they meant to ask and then forgot to do.

“On tumblr I just reblog posts at random, which honestly would explain a lot about my blog.”

Maddela breaks into Llydor’s office, and digs around for clues. Among many other things, they find letters from Llydor’s kid, which prompts a resounding “EWWWW” from around the table. Sorry Llydor Philkirk canonically fucks.

“Roll for it to make sure you don’t completely fuck it up. Oh. Oh, that was a facial expression you just made.”

Maddela “Actually…. I’m gonna go… and not steal the carpet.”

Under the carpet is a large brass key, and Maddela uses her key blank to copy it. Like a proFRESHional. She’s seen coming out of his office by an approaching servant, but otherwise it’s a flawless crime. Meanwhile, Llydor hasn’t yet shown up to drop off the books. They summon Sprit, who tells them that he left some books at the front desk for her to drop off because he had some other business.They send Sprit to go find Llydor but also to get a bottle of champagne and some snacks first. Saida reads through to see if she recognizes the handwriting in any of the books from the note she saw in Sprit’s memories, but she doesn’t.

“You need to learn to count to three to play Pathfinder.” Saida: “Well you need to learn to read to GM Pathfinder.”

RUDE

“You try to track down Llydor.” Sergei: “Yeah!” “What are you doing to try to track down Llydor?” “……..”

“He does have a distinctive cologne. Scent, for dudes.”

Sergei rolls really well and finds that Llydor went outside, but loses track of the trail because he took the well-shovelled path. Saida has spent time looking up AA quotes and plans to drop them whenever she feels it’s appropriate.There’s also a subplot where Yoni is convinced that Pashmina was pregnant and had an abortion. The less said about that the better.

“You guys, I’m in AA, not NA. There’s a whole world of drugs out there.”

Yoni, Saida, Maddela, and Sergei visit a bar called the Jeweled Bitch, which is explicitly there for rich people to feel like they’re slumming it. At the bar, people knew Shareena- she had a gig where she posed as a hotel guest to get into the hotel bar to find clients. They often had to kick her out of the hotel bar, though. Maddela also hit on the bartender.

“You found a book. A self-help book. The Fantasy-cret.”

They meet at the hotel bar, where Krash is drinking and they have a pretty awkward conversation.

“Who are the bartenders? How many are there? What are their names? What are their backstories?” My players are trying to kill me.

Saida: “Do we know what Sharona looks like?” “Do you know Shareena’s name?”

The bartender, Veldahar, reveals that he doesn’t know much that they didn’t already know, and then says some shit about orcs so Rhonia intimidates him.

None of my friends can snap their fingers and it’s very funny.

Suddenly, Sprit goes to find them to let them know that Llydor Philkirk has been murdered and abandoned in a garbage chute, and it looks like he has frostbite on his fingers and toes.

“I’m not comfortable being down here with the body. It’s creepy.” “This is a murder mystery!”

“You know, if you keep talking about the murders like they’re good things, people will keep suspecting you.”

They inform Harde and Narder that Llydor is dead and also immediately start planning to take over the resort and start a sex cult. “I think Bobbie is crying.”