#: kirb rambles

[immortal-cataclysm]

yassification

[quietsbbg]

ate a wild blackberry off a bush i found today

[kirby-the-gorb]

[provider-of-guardians]

🎶 POYOOOOOOOOOOO 🎶

POYO!!!!

[wintuvern]

Eveytime I listen to Night Shift I just sob because it makes me think of Seven and MC

Like not one single part of the song doesn't fit them 😭💔

"I'm doing fine, trying to derail my one-track mind

Regaining my self-worth in record time

But I can't help but think of your other in the bed that was mine

Am I a masochist, resisting urges to punch you in the teeth?

Call you a bitch and leave?

Why did I come here? To sit and watch you stare at your feet?"

What was the plan? Absolve your guilt and shake hands?

[aimless-aimz]

me on my way to make the hottest most shit stopping titty popping jaw dropping woman ever and then leave (this means nothing to me)

[kachikirby]

I'd like to take a moment to thank @deafeninggardenerpanda for helping to make an admittedly crummy day have a bit more sunshine.

I really love this!

(Go here to support btw)

[cherryskirbycorner]

so I finished reading iyd where it's currently at a few days ago.

i am incredibly normal about @post-it-notes7 's Heart and Soul series. I can be trusted with these freaks I promise I won't keep microwaving all of the strawberries and blueberries I promise.

anyway good lird these two have been through so much. they need eepy time + bonus wishful thinking first few chapters in a nutshell

[pinoke]

I think they would be friends

[stingyslegslookweird]

Curvier - a short essay-type thing

Okay, it's been 11 years, I have to share a theory. I'm fully aware that basically no one who currently follows me and/or pays attention to the things I post about will understand anything I'm about to say, but tbh I've put way too much into this to really care.

Anyway, you guys ever heard of TOME? :D

If not, it's this neat little 15-episode (technically 16 if you count /FILE:ZERO, 25 if you also count the Season 1 shorts, and 26 if you count all of those plus AvZ, the 5-year anniversary short) animated web series about two teenagers, an imp, a dragon-man, and a [REDACTED] who get together and fight criminals in VRchat.

Jokes aside, it's really good and you can watch it here. Seriously, go do that. It's so damn good. Today's the 11th anniversary, you literally have no excuse. At least watch episode one, otherwise the rest of this post will make absolutely no sense beyond the most surface-level of details.

Okay, done? You've watched Episode 1? Good, good. So...

In the first episode, specifically around 3:06, Nylocke pronounces Kirb's username wrong, to which he replies "It's Kirbopher. It's like Christopher except curvier." But... it isn't, though, is it? Merriam-Webster Dictionary (the most official dictionary, as we all know) defines a curve as "to have or take a turn, change, or deviation from a straight line or plane surface without sharp breaks or angularity", its synonyms including bend, curvature, arc, bow, and crook. Basically, any circle, half-circle, quarter-circle, oval, etc.

To be fair, assuming the onscreen textboxes are actually a "thing" in TOME itself, as opposed to a visual effect only used to tell the story, one could claim that the font Kirb's player uses is rather curvy itself (and they'd be right), but is it curvier?

After checking Google, I quickly found a list of every font used in the show, gathered in this here Google Doc by one unicornfoal (their username didn't pop up in the menu thing when I tried to @ them so idk if they still go by that), which tells us that the font Kirb uses is "Spicy Sushi Roll".

With the font determined, we can compare the curviness of the names. To do this, I typed each of them out in a word document, took a screenshot, and pasted it into my photo-editing software of choice. There, I created this handy diagram detailing every curve in the letters, in addition to offering brief definitions of my terminology and method for determining what counts as a curve.

Also, as an aside, I'm really proud of how this turned out, especially with the lines and colors and the grid in the background. Like... man. Not to suck myself off or anything, but holy hell am I good at this.

Anyway, as you can see, the name "Kirbopher" has 7 inner (convex) curves and 8 outer (concave) curves, adding up to a total of 15 curves, which, assuming I'm correct about all this, had to be intentional. "Christopher", on the other hand, has 10 inner curves and 11 outer curves, which adds up to 21 total curves. Therefore, "Kirbopher" is not only not "like Christopher except curvier", but is in fact less curvy. This revelation, while shocking, isn't my final point. No, no. Because this rabbit hole goes deeper, dear reader. First, though, we must talk about parallel universes a long-defunct 2000s internet forum.

Long before TOME was a 15-episode web series, its world and characters were conceptualized in a 70-something long series of sprite animations on Newgrounds, known as TvTome Adventures, or TTA for short. Based on the forums of the TvTome website, which now redirects to tv.com, the series featured characters based largely on the forum's users, including one white sword-wielding marshmallow-thing by the name of Kirbopher15, pictured below.

Yeah. That's... more or less Kirby in a hat. Somewhat Kirby-like. Kirbyish? Though, to be fair, it could probably be... kirbyer?

And that's where my theory kicks in. Buckle your fuckle because this is gonna blow your damn mind.

What if, and hear me out here, the original line wasn't "curvier", but instead "kirbyer", as in "more Kirby"? It'd certainly make more sense, seeing as, one, the character was originally just a Kirby recolor in a hat, and two, the name Kirbopher is literally just "Christopher" but with "Chris" replaced with "Kirby", minus the y.

Why was it changed, then? Seeing as it's so early on in the show, which has been stated to have had somewhat of a rough production, almost not making it past four episodes, it could be out of concern over copyrights, trademarks, or other legal issues possibly arising, were the show to be, say, picked up by a TV network or something. Even though Kirby is an actual name that real people have, when you factor in the character's previous incarnation, it could definitely be taken to mean the Nintendo character, instead of a regular person's name.

Oh, and one more thing. Tumblr, being very art-driven by design, is home to tons and tons of artists, writers, voice actors, etc., both amateur and professional. Plus, because Tumblr lets you @ blogs you know the names of, someone with an insane theory about a single throwaway line of dialogue in an episode of a somewhat niche web animation could, say... @ the creator of said animation, assuming they're on tumblr in the first place, and ask if they're correct in their long-winded assertions, or are simply talking out of their ass. So, with that in mind...

@kirbopher How'd I do?

[whistlingstarlight]

Kind of a general question but how've you been liking the new kirby game? I'm thinking of getting it for my SO for Christmas, he also very much loves Kirby <3

It’s amazing! Especially to long-time Kirby fans who love the lore, it gives a lot of hints/implications to a lot of previously unexplained things! And it’s 3D, Kirby works so well outside of the usual sidescroller format!

I haven’t been able to play it for a while as my Switch Lite has started breaking, but I’ve completed a playthrough on my brother’s console and I can say with confidence the game is consistently good. The post-game can be kinda tough imo, and 100%ing every level isn’t always easy, but that can give it replay value! And the new Copy Abilities and (most of) the upgrades are really fun too!

The boss fights are super cool too, especially the final boss. When a character’s theme is called “Two Planets Approach The Roche Limit” you know they’re gonna be pretty metal.

So yeah, definitely get it for your partner. I’ve heard a couple nitpicks here and there from people (and I have some of my own) but I have heard anybody say they dislike the game as a whole.

[immortal-cataclysm]

shout out to this start screen animation its so silly. gta his ass!!!!!!!

[gferamos]

I could've just woken up at 5am to watch the music fest

Nah I just stayed up and here to rant whiles they're talking as I'm writing this (Oh how I would like to understand:'))

I. Am. So. HaAPPYYY. Oh my god everyone did such a good job and I hope they all have a good rest after the show because god DAMN

I don't really remember names but the directors of the orchestra did amazing and I'm just, I want to go back and play music again because of this :')))

Well I don't know how to word things but they're playing again and I'M GOING BACK TO FULLY PAYING ATTENTION AHHH

[lotusneedsserotonin]

meow

mrow :3

[provider-of-guardians]

💖POYO💖

K.. Kirbo…. ;O;

[cesium-sheep]

I like having the kirblog as another place to vent. I do not like having her there. I am concerned that expressly requesting she stop looking will convince her there's something worth looking for and she will go behind my back with little hesitation. (or throw a tantrum that there's something that's not for her.) and outright disabling it outside of the app sucks for a lot of people. and I'm fucking tired of multiplatforming so I'm certainly not setting up a new one right now.