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marvelsdc22 · 3 months

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Pretty Things

Summary: When life and stress gets to you, you make a decision, whether it was a good decision or not is a different story.

The day Lara arrived came faster than you expected, mostly since you tried to keep yourself busy so you didn’t let it all get to your head, even going as far as taking up Issac’s offer on surfing lessons and as much as you hated to admit it, you actually enjoyed it, not like you’d ever tell Issac that, he already had a big enough head.

Waiting anxiously by the bus stop that Lara told you she would arrive at, nervous about seeing your friend again, her being the only one besides your mother who would talk to you, Alex blamed you for what happened to Kara so she needed time to cool off and time away, Kara was of course locked away in a major medical facility so it wasn’t like anyone could even talk to her, then there was Alex’s girlfriend who had been your best friend since you started at the diner, but even Maggie wasn’t even talking to you, seeming to just try to keep the peace by following Alex’s lead, it hurt but you knew that every action has consequences.

You forced yourself to perk up when Lara’s bus pulled up, bouncing on your toes as you waited for her to get off, looking at her with a nervous smile when she was finally standing in front of you, not wanting to make the first move since you weren’t sure where you two stood “Come here” she said, setting the bag in her hand down by her feet before engulfing you in a hug.

“God I missed you” Lara breathed out, giving you a tight squeeze before she pulled back, gently grasping your shoulders as she looked you over, seeming to try to convince herself that you were right in front of her again “I was so worried when you wouldn’t respond to me, but I’m glad your okay” she said sincerely, giving your shoulders a squeeze before grabbing her bag “I know, I’m sorry” you apologized.

Lara held up her hand when you apologized, shaking her head “Make it up to me by showing where I’m staying” she said, earning a laugh from you as you gave her a grin “Right this way, ma’am” you said, gesturing in the direction you’d be walking in and her falling into step with you when you started walking, the two of you catching up the whole way to the inn that you were staying it, you finding it easier for her to just stay with you rather than fight to get a room of her own.

“So this is the famous Lara Croft” Sammy commented when you two approached the front counter “That’s me” Lara said, embarrassed as she rubbed the back of her neck “Y/N has told me a lot about you, they’ve been excited for you to join them here” Sammy said, making up a roomkey for her when Lara handed over her I.D. “I hope all good things” Lara said, glancing at you as you felt your cheeks begin to burn “All good things” you rushed out before Sammy could tease you any further.

Once the two of you got to your room, you let Lara get settled in a little bit before you started prodding her with questions like how your mom was and how classes were going for her before finally getting to the question you were desperate to know the answer to “How’s Lena?” You asked, looking at her and almost afraid of the answer “She’s okay, we don’t really talk anymore, when you guys broke it off she focused more on her professor friends that she had before meeting you… She seems to be trying to move on with her life” Lara said, knowing that the answer more than likely wasn’t what you wanted to hear but she wasn’t going to sugarcoat it or lie to you.

“Oh…” you said, glad that she was able to start moving on from this, but you couldn’t help the pain you felt, you wanted to be the one that was making her happy but that wasn’t your job anymore and you had to understand that “I’m glad she’s doing good… How’s Kara and Alex? Any update?” You asked, having heard nothing with them since Alex cut you off “Not much update on Kara, Alex and I were never close to begin with, but last I heard she was in and out of solitude, whatever happened to her it’s wreaking havoc on her body” she answered, no one really knowing what had gotten into her body and knowing that the doctors were trying to get to the bottom of it.

Once the two of you caught up some, you decided to take her out to dinner at the restaurant that you seemed to be addicted with “Harbor Grill and Orchid Lounge?” Lara asked as you guys walked to the front entrance “Hey, don’t knock it till you try it” you said, chuckling as you held the door open for her, the two of you getting a seat after a few minute wait since tonight was a busy night “So, what do you usually get?” Lara asked, scouring over the menu after you two sat down.

“The Chicken Al Pastor” you answered, leaning back in your seat as you looked over your menu but you already knew you wouldn’t stray far from your go to “So… Are you still doing research?” You asked after a moment of silence “Trying, but I’ve learned my lesson on being picky about who I go with… After last time…” Lara said, the two of you shuddering at the thought of the last research she was involved with “I get it” you said, reaching over and resting a hand on her arm to tell her that she didn’t have to go any further.

Once the two of you finished eating(and Lara admitting that the restaurant was in fact a good choice) you both went to take a walk on the beach, the sun starting to set as you two got there “If you want, my friend Issac convinced me finally to do surfing lessons with him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind another person to try to impress” you mentioned, watching her smile and nod “That sounds great, better than the gym or a lab” Lara chuckled, stopping for a moment to watch as the sun started to set across the ocean.

“You know, I forgot what this is like” Lara said, looking at you after a moment “What? The sunset?” You asked, confused on what she was meaning and raising a brow when she let out a laugh and shook her head “No no, but you’re not wrong… I mean that if you let yourself get outside and do things out of the lab that you get to witness all these pretty things and your stress and worries just seem to melt away” she said, smiling as she stared at the water and you couldn’t help but smile in return, she was right, all your time stuck in your head and in your books, you never really took the time to see the pretty things that were right in front of you this entire time.

Taglist:

@unexpected-character

#lena luthor x reader #professor!lena x student!reader #lena luthor x gn!reader #lena x reader #dc x reader #dc #supergirl x reader #supergirl #The Professor And I

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magnus-fierro · 6 months

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FIRST TUMBLR POST WOOHOOO

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

CW: Identity crisis, terrible singing by a sword.

₊˚ෆ Identity

A fierrochase oneshot ₊˚ෆ

⋆⁺₊⋆ CHAPTER ☀︎ 1 ⋆⁺₊⋆

Alex’s head was buzzing. The thoughts were on loop. I’m not real. I’m not real. What am I? Am I even human? Why can’t i decide one form to be in? Do i even have a favorite color anymore? This had been happening for a while. Alex Fierro, the child of Loki, a shapeshifter, was questioning what he was.

Of course, he could ask for help. He had his boyfriend, Magnus. That absolute living sunshine of a man. But he didn’t want to seem weak, or vulnerable. Everyone saw Alex as the tough, stubborn, unwavering, sassy warrior of floor 19. He can’t be weak.

So he hid away from everyone. All his friends, his lover, even his sister Samirah. He screamed into pillows and sobbed into his sleeves, asking himself over and over, ‘Who am I? What am I? Why can’t i figure it out?!’, and hating himself every time. Normally, his meltdowns were quiet enough. But not today.

⋆⁺₊⋆ CHAPTER ☀︎ 2 ⋆⁺₊⋆

I was just taking a stroll with my magic sword—did i say magic? i meant magic, talking, TERRIBLY OFF KEY singing, sword. Named jack. Who flirted with Percy jackson’s sword. YES, YES WE ALL KNOW PERCY JACKSON BUT THIS ISNT ABOUT HIM. And of course, Alex had been acting like his blocked off, emotionally challenged self. It was so routine by then it’s not even funny.

But lately, it’d been worse. He didn’t even sleep in my room anymore, which was routine just as much as him changing to a her. And that was often. So, being my nosy self, I knocked on his door. And knocked. and knocked again. And again. That’s not normal. Normally he tells me to go away if i knock more than twice.

“Alex? Are you okay?” No response. “Alex?” No response. “I have food?” No response. That’s when i knew something was really wrong. Alex always opened the door for food. “Jack. Break the door.”

God i shouldn’t have told him to. I should’ve just grabbed him and broken it down myself. Why, you may ask? He started singing wrecking ball by Miley Cyrus. In a terrible a-minor that would make that one greek god mad. Annabeth told me about it. Good thing jack is a sword.

Once the door was broken down, jack skedaddled. Because of course he did. I looked around, but Alex wasn’t near her bed, at her pottery station, or climbing the tree in the middle of her room.

⋆⁺₊⋆ CHAPTER ☀︎ 3 ⋆⁺₊⋆

When i tell you i panicked so hard, i mean it. Because the second i realized Alex wasn’t in the main part of her room, i heard crying and mumbling from the bathroom. Loki must be messing with her, I thought. Trying to drive her insane. I won’t let that happen. So, in true Einerjar fashion, I broke the handle off the door.

But i saw something i never would’ve expected. Alex was genuinely breaking down. And the mumbling? She was asking herself a question most Einerjar don’t bother with anymore. “What am i? what am i? what am i? what am i?”

My first instinct was to power of Frey it, but i don’t think that works on identity crisis’. So, i did the next best thing. I sat down on the ground with Alex and pulled her close. “Alex. Breathe. Try to breathe, okay?” I think i snapped her out of it just enough to stop hyperventilating, because her breathing slowed. She was still mumbling, but she was at least a bit steadier.

“I don’t know what i am..” she said softly. I could barely hear her. “M-Maggy..what am I..? Was i ever really human..?”

I took her face in my hands, her face cold from being covered in tears. “You, Alex Fierro, are the most kickass, amazing, strong, independent, intelligent, gorgeous being in the nine worlds.” I kissed her head gently, intertwining my fingers with hers. “And no matter what form you take, you’re mine, and I love you.”

She smiled and squeezed my hand. “You are such a dork, beantown.” she said in a cracked but happier voice. “I’m staying in your room tonight, Mainly because you and your sword broke my doors.”

“Fine by me, beautiful”

short as Lokis leash with the gods but you know

*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*

FIN

#magnus chase #fierrochase #alex fierro #mcgoa #rick riordan #pjo #writers on tumblr

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fortheloveofwonderland · 2 years

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Darkness Declares Glory | Chapter 6 | S.R

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N - this fic deals with some very dark themes such as drug use, self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please proceed with caution and Minors DNI. There is a reader insert but it is very Spencer-centric.

Chapter Summary - Spencer embarks on his first therapy session. More people from his past haunt his dreams.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | eventual happy ending.

Warnings - therapy, withdrawals, pain, pain medication, talk of suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide, drug use, swearing, vomiting, paranoid behaviour, scars and stitches, track marks, featuring Alex Blake.

WC - 4K

Chapter 6 - If You Could See Me Now

It was early evening when Delaney knocked on Spencer’s door to bring him dinner.

They didn’t usually condone eating in rooms as it strayed from routine and the socialisation with other patients was highly encouraged.

But Spencer’s routine hadn’t really started yet so for today he let Spencer eat in the peace of his room.

Delaney sat at the desk and watched the man wolf down his food with the ferocity of a wild animal.

Spencer had no idea when the last time he ate was and he hadn’t realised how hungry he was until the food was presented to him.

He ate every last scrap and washed it down with nearly every drop of a litre bottle of water.

Even after his rest his legs still showed the remains of the tremors but it was to be expected.

After he’d eaten as promised earlier, Delaney trimmed Spencer’s nails so they were completely blunt and could cause no more injury to himself.

Then he helped him into his wheelchair and wheeled him to his first therapist appointment which Spencer dreaded with every fibre of his being.

He wished he had the energy to fight it, but even after a decent meal and hydration he was exhausted.

“What day is it today?” Spencer mused as he was wheeled down corridors.

“It’s Wednesday.” Delaney replied.

“So tomorrow is visitation day?” Spencer rubbed his eyes with his palms.

“Indeed.”

“I don’t want to see anyone.” Spencer told him as they came to a stop outside of one of the doors in the corridor.

“I really do think that-“

“Not yet. I’m not saying never, but not yet. Please.” Spencer clenched his teeth.

“Ok.” Delaney agreed, knowing if he pushed him he might never let anyone visit. “I’ll call Ms Prentiss in the morning.”

“Thank you.” Spencer’s hands retreated up his sleeves like tortoises retiring to their shells when threatened as Delaney opened the door and wheeled him inside.

“Spencer, this is Maggie. She’s one of our specialists in dual diagnosis. She might not be your permanent therapist but she’s going to assess you and we’ll go from there, ok?” Delaney parked his chair next to the plush leather couch before helping Spencer onto it.

Spencer just nodded.

He wanted to pull his legs up to his chest to protect himself but he knew his injury wouldn’t allow it. Since waking up this evening he’d been noticing the pain properly for the first time. And not just in his leg.

Both of his arms seemed as though they were on fire, searing in pain. Maybe he’d have to ask about getting some pain medication because it was almost unbearable. Delaney left the room and Spencer kept his hands hidden inside of his sweater for some kind of security.

Maggie smiled at him softly. She was probably around his age, pretty in an understated way. She reminded him a little of Tara and it put him slightly at ease.

“Hi Spencer,” she was soft spoken and had kind eyes.

His eyes grazed down to the file in her hand and he could only imagine what it said about him there.

“Hi.” He offered her a tight lipped smile.

“I know this must be hard for you, so I want to start by telling you a little about myself to try and help relax you if that’s ok?”

Spencer simply nodded again, trying to dig his fingernails into his palm but now they’d been clipped so short his fingertips just pressed into his flesh.

It didn’t ground him the way he needed it to.

“My name is Doctor Maggie Sherman. I have a PhD in Behavioural Psychology. I’ve been a licensed therapist for fifteen years and I’ve worked here at PIW for six years. I specialise in treating patients with drug addictions and underlying mental health disorders. But this is just an assessment as Doctor Delaney said, so if we don’t gel or you don’t like me as your therapist that’s ok. Also to give you a little personal insight into me, I am married with two children, a boy and a girl. My wife and I have been together since we were in high school. Would you care to tell me a little about yourself?”

Spencer’s eyes widened when she stopped talking, realising he was going to have to speak now. He tugged on the sleeves of his sweater awkwardly.

“Uh…I also have a PhD. Well, three of them. Engineering, chemistry and mathematics. I worked for the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI from when I was twenty two up until seven months…” he trailed off with a small sigh. “Two years ago. I’m a drug addict, dilaudid and cocaine. I have PTSD, major depressive disorder and panic disorder.”

“Ok that’s good.” She nodded encouragingly. “But why don’t you try and tell me something I couldn’t read in your file.”

“Like what?”

“Anything you like.”

Spencer chewed on his bottom lip while he thought about this. He wanted to talk about you, you were the only thing he ever wanted to talk about. But now was not the time.

“I like to read. I can actually read twenty thousand words a minute which is really useful for work when we need to get through hundreds of case files in a short amount of time but when it comes to reading for pleasure it can get a little frustrating.” He rambled. “I like playing chess. An old friend of mine taught me how and we used to play all the time. I never could beat him though. I can beat anyone else, just not Gideon.”

It was a nervous babble. Once he started he couldn’t stop himself. Spencer always prattled when he was uncomfortable.

“What about your personal life? Are you married, do you have kids? What about your family?”

“Uh no, not married and no kids.” He sighed sadly. “Family is just me and my mom. But she’s a paranoid schizophrenic with early onset dementia and she lives in Las Vegas so I guess it’s just me.”

“Doctor Delaney told me about your old team. Would you consider them family?” She tilted her head to the side a little.

“Uh, I guess so.” He tugged at his sleeves again. “I’ve worked with some of them for over ten years and I guess they are the closest thing to a family that I have.”

“It’s good to have a support system.” She smiled, threading her fingers together. “I do need to ask you some tough questions now ok, Spencer?”

“Y-yes.” His leg was still trembling much like it had been all day. The pain coursing through his whole body was causing him to sweat. The withdrawals were making him sweat too.

“Are you ok?” Maggie narrowed her eyes on him a little.

“I’m uh…in a bit of a pain.” A bit of pain was a huge understatement. His whole body swelled in agony.

“You’ve not been given anything for your pain?”

“N-no.” He shook his head. “But that’s probably because I didn’t tell Doctor Delaney I was in pain.”

Maggie glanced down at her notes on him before pushing herself up from the chair and heading to a locked cabinet behind her desk. Once opened, Spencer saw an array of medication bottles which she quickly sifted through before pulling one of them out and locking the cupboard.

“Have you heard of methadone?”

“Yes.” Spencer felt himself perk up a little.

Methadone was an opioid like dilaudid, but ironically was used for treating opioid addictions. It was used for extreme pain relief which Spencer so sorely needed. Methadone changed the way the brain and nervous system respond to pain to give some relief. He knew it offered similar feelings to other opioid drugs like dilaudid, and would aid his cravings. And if he couldn’t get his hands on dilaudid or cocaine it would have to do. He knew he wouldn’t be given enough to get him high, but anything was better than nothing.

“This will help with your pain and aid in relieving your withdrawal symptoms.” Maggie uncapped the bottle and Spencer unsheathed his hand to accept the pill.

She poured him a cup of water from a machine in the corner of the room and handed that to him also. Spencer quickly tossed the pill and water back with shaky hands. He knew it took a little while to kick in, he hoped he could cope with this encompassing pain until then.

“See how you get on with that tonight and we’ll discuss dosages tomorrow ok?”

Spencer nodded, hands quickly snaking back inside his sweater.

“Now I’m going to need to ask you some hard questions. If at any time you want to stop, just say so and we’ll stop. But I do need complete honesty from you ok, Spencer?”

“Ok.” He was already grinding his teeth against the pain but now he started doing it more furiously.

“How did you get involved in drugs?” She poised her own above her notebook.

“About ten years ago. I was abducted during the course of a case and the unsub…uh, unknown subject…bad guy, he would inject me with dilaudid. I got addicted and kept using for almost a year after. But then I got clean and I didn’t start using again until seven…two years ago.” He watched Maggie take some notes before nodding.

“What happened two years ago for you to start using again after such a long period of sobriety?”

“I was arrested for a crime I didn’t commit. I spent three months in prison. I tried not to turn to drugs but it all got too much. And after a while the dilaudid wasn’t enough so I started using cocaine too.” He was impressed by how easily he was talking about this, least of all to a stranger.

Maybe that was why it was easier to talk about. But he wouldn’t be so quick to answer all of her questions.

“Was it after prison you self-harmed for the first time?” She tapped the nib of her pen on the notebook.

Spencer winced a little, snaking his arms around his waist and hugging himself, despite how much his arms hurt.

“I uh…” he swallowed, eyes darting around the room so he didn’t have to look at her. “I was prescribed Prozac by my therapist. It made me feel worse than I did before. It made me s-suicidal. I think I hurt myself trying to stop from killing myself.”

“That makes sense.” Maggie nodded in understanding. “Everybody has coping mechanisms, Spencer. Unfortunately yours are not very healthy. My job is to help you find healthier ways of dealing with your emotions.”

“Logically I understand that. Rationally I know that drugs and hurting myself isn’t sensible. And honestly they didn’t even work. I don’t even know how I’m still alive if truth be told.” He grinded his teeth harder, wishing he could pick at his skin to relieve some tension.

“You’ve attempted suicide before? I mean before the other day.”

“Yes.” He tightened his hold on himself, hoping if he squeezed tight enough he might just disappear all together.

“Can you elaborate?” Maggie put the pen down and gave him her full attention. Honestly that made him feel more uncomfortable.

“I sometimes play Russian Roulette with my gun. Leave it up to fate to decide if it’s my time to die.” His eyes glossed over with tears. “I’ve tried overdosing before. I’m incredibly smart and I should have known exactly how much I needed to end it. But the drugs must have scrambled my brain and I kept fucking it up.”

“Was this overdose a deliberate one?”

“I’m still trying to piece that together but I’m pretty certain it was, yes.” A few tears crept from his eyes but he was quick to wipe them away on the sleeves of his sweater.

“What do you think would happen if any of your attempts had been successful?” Her question threw Spencer through a loop and he frowned at her.

“I don’t understand.” He toyed with the hems of the sweater. “I’d be dead. I don’t believe in heaven or hell or reincarnation or anything like that so I’d just be dead?”

“No, I don’t mean it like that.” Maggie smiled. “Let me rephrase the question. What do you think would happen to your mom, your friends, if your attempts had been successful?”

Spencer’s frown deepened. He’d never thought about that. Not once. He’d never even thought about you. All he’d ever thought about was how much he needed to end it all.

“I uh…I don’t know.”

“It’s ok not to know. The sad fact is Spencer, depression is a very selfish illness. It doesn’t allow our brains to think of the consequences of our actions. It’s ok not to have thought about the effect it would have on those who love you.” Maggie picked her pen back up and jotted something down.

“My mom probably wouldn’t even realise. She doesn’t even know who I am most of the time.” He heard the self-pity in his tone and he hated it. Once again he tried to dig his nails into his palms but failed.

“I’m sure a lot of people would miss you if you were gone, Spencer. Your mom included.”

“Hmm.” That was Spencer’s sign he was done talking.

He’d opened up a lot more than he’d expected to and now he was done. Maggie clearly sensed this and she closed her notebook.

“Do you think you’d like to come back and talk to me more tomorrow?” She asked softly.

“I don’t know if like is the right word.” He gnawed on his lip. “But sure.”

He was still fidgeting with his hands under his sleeves and he saw Maggie’s eyes flick to where his hands lay in his lap. She pushed herself up from the chair and rounded her desk. He watched as she pulled something out of the top drawer.

“I want you to wear this.” She came over to him and handed him a simple rubber band.

“Uh, why?” He frowned but took it from her all the same.

“Wear it around your wrist and when you feel the urge to hurt yourself, give it a firm snap. It will help alleviate the need to harm yourself.”

Spencer nodded stiffly, rolling the band over the bandages on his left wrist as it was the arm that hurt less.

“I’ll call Doctor Delaney to take you back to your room. Tomorrow you’re going to let me know how you got on with the medication ok?”

“Ok.”

While Maggie made a phone call he snapped the band around his wrist once, twice and three times. And then three more times for good measure. It would be a miracle if the band was still intact come morning.

***

The pain continued to flood his body to the point he thought he may actually pass out. Although admittedly that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world because he was supposed to be asleep. The methadone should have done something. It had been hours since Maggie gave him the medication and Spencer was sure if anything, his pain was worse.

He was simultaneously on fire and freezing. He was dripping with sweat and he’d already vomited in the trash can in his room three times. Despite his lack of nails he’d already picked off the bandages on his knuckles and was working on picking at the one on his right arm. Why was the methadone not kicking in? This didn’t make any sense. And that left him with one of two theories.

One: she’d given him a placebo. She’d given him a pill that was simply meant to placate him. It was nothing more than a sugary tablet to make him think his pain and cravings would lessen.

Or two: it was all in his fucking head. He’d created the pain in his own mind and it didn’t really exist in the first place.

What if the bandages were only there to make him think he was hurt? Of course his cut up knuckles should have told him that wasn’t true. But suddenly Spencer didn’t know what to believe.

He picked and picked at the dressing on his right arm until he was able to remove it entirely. He expected to see untarnished skin beneath it but of course, that wasn’t what happened. Underneath the dressing was a wound running the length of his forearm with the seventeen stitches Delaney had told him about. Without meaning to, Spencer pressed his fingers against the wound, applying pressure and feeling the pain heighten.

He did it again, harder this time and yelped at the feeling. But he still did it two more times. Not one to be easily perturbed, he ripped off the bandage on his other arm revealing hideous, pulsating track marks and a series of slowly healing gouges and burns. Once again he pressed his fingers to the open wounds, feeling the pain swell aggressively as he did so.

Soon he was on top of his sheets, wriggling out of his pyjama pants and unravelling the dressing around his thigh. The bullet wound looked better than he’d imagined, already seeming to heal very nicely. It was the array of cuts above it that made Spencer’s stomach turn a little. Some scars were old, probably made at least a year ago. Others were fresher, still healing. Spencer pressed his fingertips against every single one of them.

He was dizzy with the pain but he continued prodding and poking his wounds, hypnotising himself with the repetitiveness of going from limb to limb over and and over again.

Left arm. Right arm. Leg. Left arm. Right arm. Leg. Left arm. Right arm. Leg. Left arm. Right arm. Leg.

He repeated this cycle for hours, groaning at the pain it caused but for some reason it became oddly comforting. He was utterly restless. He couldn’t get his brain to shut off long enough to give over to sleep. At some point, completely forgetting about the fact he couldn’t walk, he swung his legs out of bed. As he placed his feet on the floor, pain shot up his leg but he ignored it. He pushed himself up, wobbling a little as he did so. He stepped forward on his good leg first. Then slowly his bad leg.

The pain alone almost caused him to collapse but he was determined not to be bedridden. He would push himself to his limits if it meant he wasn’t stuck in that damn bed. By the time he reached the door he couldn’t see straight anymore for the intense agony swirling through his body. He clutched the handle, tugged on it. The door didn’t budge.

No, no, no! He screamed internally. No, I can’t be locked in! Not again! Not again!

He tried to thud on the door but he was too weak and just slapped his hand pathetically against it.

No, please. I can’t be locked in. I can’t go back to prison.

His leg suddenly gave out, his mind giving in to the pain and he collapsed onto the carpeted floor. With the last of the energy he had in his body he tried to crawl back to his bed but he didn’t make it all the way and somewhere between the door and the bed, he blacked out.

***

“Spencer?” A soft voice roused him. “Spencer, what are you doing on the floor?”

He lifted his head from the carpet pillow and squinted upwards at the figure standing over him.

“Spencer? You need to get up.” Your voice was stern and held a hint of frustration.

“What happened?” He croaked, rolling himself onto his back and rubbing his eyes with his palms.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” You crouched over him and held your hands out for him to take which he did. Your skin was like ice.

You helped him into a sitting position and he blinked rapidly, trying to dislodge you from the haze you were in.

“Why can’t I see you properly?” He mused out loud.

“I don’t know, Spencer. I don’t have the answers for you.” You pulled him to his feet and when he stood there was no pain in his leg. There was no pain anywhere.

Blinking a few more times he looked around and found himself in his bedroom of his apartment. He let you lead him to the bed where you both sat down on the mattress. He tried to concentrate on your features but everything was just slightly out of focus.

“I’m forgetting you.” He grinded his teeth.

“It’s been a long time.” You shrugged.

“I don’t want to forget you. I never want to forget you!” He wailed pathetically.

“At some point you have to let me go, Spencer.”

“No, no I don’t want to. I miss you Y/N, I miss you so fucking much. I don’t want to let you go, I don’t want to forget.”

“It’s already happening, Spencer. It’s out of your control.”

“No, please.” He whined, sniffing loudly. “Please, I can’t forget you. Please tell me what I need to do to remember.”

“Your brain is becoming clearer.” You sighed a little as you spoke. “The drugs are washing out of your system and making you see clearer.”

“If that were the case, surely I’d remember you more clearly?”

“Your mind is trying to tell you something, Spencer. At some point you’re going to have to listen to it.” You briefly touched his cheek before standing up from the bed.

“What is it trying to tell me? I don’t understand.”

“You’ll see soon enough. Everything will become clear. Just try not to blame yourself when it does.” You started backing away, slipping away from him.

“Blame myself for what?”

“Any of it.” You replied simply and then your image vanished completely.

“Y/N!” He jumped up from the bed. “Y/N, come back!”

“She’s gone.” A voice behind him startled him.

He quickly spun back around to see someone sitting on the edge of his bed.

“A-Alex?” He frowned at her, scratching the back of his neck. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t ask me.” She laughed. “It’s your subconscious.”

“I’m losing it.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I am fucking losing it.”

“Oh Spencer, you lost it a long time ago.” Alex smiled wistfully at him.

“That’s not true.” He shook his head.

“Isn’t it?” Her smile turned into a frown. “You’ve never been well Spencer. You were cursed with that giant brain. That giant, sick brain. Everyone thinks it a gift but they have no idea what a hindrance it really is.”

“Well given that you’re just a dream, excuse me for not believing anything you say.” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m an extension of your subconscious Spencer. I’m only saying what you’re thinking.”

“That’s not true.”

��We both know that it is.”

Spencer heaved a sigh and fell back to the bed next to her.

“Am I ever going to recover from this? Am I ever going to be ok again?”

“That’s up to you. You’ve gotta want it Spencer.”

“And if I don’t? What if all I want is to spend the rest of my life high out of my mind?”

“Then you’ll never recover.” Alex shrugged.

“How do I keep my memories of Y/N? Why would they fade when my mind is clearer? It just doesn’t make sense.” He huffed.

“Somewhere in that big old brain, you know the answer to that. You’ll find it eventually, but I can’t help you.”

“Alex, I’m scared.” He confessed, tears springing to his eyes.

“I know you are. But I know you and I know you’ll be ok.” She pushed herself up from the bed and turned to look down at him. “Or alternatively you won’t be ok and you’ll end up dead.”

“Wow, great pep talk.” He scoffed.

“Again, I’m only saying what you want me to say.”

“Can I wake up now? This is getting kind of annoying.”

“A nurse is going to walk through your door in approximately thirty seconds to wake you up.” She pointed to the door over her shoulder but it wasn’t the door to Spencer’s bedroom in his apartment anymore. He was back in his room at PIW. “Good luck explaining why you’re on the floor by the way.” Alex chuckled and then, like you, she was fading away.

Taglist

@andiebeaword @measure-in-pain@takeyourleap-of-faith @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27 @reidselle @reidsbookclub

@tiredmilky @thatsonezesty13 @1mechanicalalligator

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds #criminal minds smut

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goldenempyrean · 1 year

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pls pls can we have a sanvers story!! possible pre-relationship with feelings admitted, with Alex being worried for a sick and working Maggie?🖤😻❤️️

Whispers of Truth

〚 Notes - Hello anon! Of course you can have some Sanvers, hopefully this satisfies :) These two are so cute its unreal, I love them. 〛

〚 Pairing - Alex Danvers x Maggie Sawyer 〛

〚 Summary - When Alex finds Maggie sick and insistent on working she can't help but be worried. But worry is just the first of feelings to come. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 1310 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

The crisp night air hung heavy with an otherworldly stillness as numerous agents DEO arrived on scene. Flashing lights from police vehicles painted the area in shades of red and blue, illuminating the numerous smoking holes littering the ground.

Alex smiled, spotting a familiar face several feet away, “So what do we have here Sawyer?”

She asked, crouching down to the detective who was currently inspecting a suspicious-looking burn mark.

“Incineration marks it’s looking like.” Maggie shook her head as she stood, “This is the third time we’ve see burn pattern in 2 weeks now.”

Alex nodded, her eyes narrowing as she scanned the area. “Any witnesses?”

Maggie sighed, rubbing her temples. “No luck so far. It’s like they vanished into thin air. But we’re not giving up just yet. We’ve got a team canvassing the area for any potential leads.”

Just then, a high-pitched sneeze erupted from Maggie, catching her by surprise. She quickly covered her mouth and tried to stifle a muffled cough into her elbow, hoping the agent hadn’t heard. But of course, she had. Alex raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Everything alright there, Sawyer?”

“Just peachy, thanks.” Maggie forced a smile, attempting to mask the congestion in her voice. She glanced away, pretending to be engrossed in examining another scorch mark on the ground. The last thing she wanted was for Alex to worry about her or worse, insist on sending her home.

"Alright then," Alex replied, her tone laced with a mix of scepticism and amusement but still she gave her the benefit of the doubt, “Just let me know if you need a tissue or something."

Maggie chuckled softly, her voice rasping slightly, “Will do, Danvers. But don't worry, I've got this."

Alex tilted her head, her eyes searching Maggie's face for any signs of discomfort. It was rare to see the detective so adamant about hiding something, especially from her. Maggie was usually straightforward and open, never one to shy away from sharing her feelings or concerns. 

Hours passed as the investigation slowly droned on. There was a lot of cataloguing and examining to do but honestly nothing that really required either woman to be there. But still, they both stayed, neither one wanting to leave the other.

“Are you sure you’re up to being on duty?”

Alex sighed as she came to sit on the bench where Maggie had stopped to rest.

“Mmh’fine Alex, we have a job to do.” She yawned, rubbing the back of her wrist against her nose as she sniffled. The act may have had the opposite intended effect because she suddenly turned to the side to stifle a set of much needed sneezes.

Alex hummed, tapping her shoulder to let the tired detective rest against it, “We may have a job to do but that doesn’t excuse the fact you’re coming down with something,” She stopped to pull out a small packet of tissues from the inside of her jacket, “Here.”

“Thanks Danvers.”  Maggie accepted the tissues gratefully, her face scrunching up as another sneeze threatened to escape. She blew her nose gently, trying to clear the congestion that seemed to be settling in her sinuses.

Alex watched her with concern, her hand resting lightly on Maggie's back. "You don't have to tough it out, you know. We can handle things here. You should go home and rest."

Maggie shook her head stubbornly, though her voice came out slightly hoarse. "I can't leave this unsolved, Alex. People are getting hurt, and I need to find out who's behind it. Plus-” She mumbled that last past so quietly Alex couldn’t even make out what she was saying, it must’ve been something important though because the darkening red on the detective’s cheeks was hard to miss.

The agent smiled sweetly, the embarrassed mumblings of her friend amusing her a little, “What was that Sawyer?”

“You heard me.”

“No, no, I really didn’t. Speak up for me love.” Alex froze as the pet name slipped from her tongue. Shit. She knew was Maggie was gay, she was very open about that but her? It was true she’d never really had a thing for boys but maybe that wasn’t the reason why. Maybe she was just wired differently, but oh, the way her heart fluttered every time she looked at the detective had her thinking differently. The way her eyes seemed to swallow her whole, filling her was love and desire. There was something there for her.

“I don’t want to be away from you….”

Alex's heart skipped a beat at Maggie's words, her own feelings suddenly bubbling to the surface. Without thinking, she gently cupped Maggie's cheek, turning her face back to meet her gaze. "You don't have to be away from me," she murmured softly, her voice filled with tenderness. "But you also don't have to suffer through this alone. Let me take care of you."

Maggie's cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red at Alex's touch and her heartfelt words. The weight of her stubbornness began to waver under the warmth of Alex's caring gaze. It was true that she hated leaving things unfinished, especially a case with potentially dangerous repercussions. But she also knew that she couldn't deny her feelings for Alex any longer.

"You're right," Maggie finally admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't have to be away from you. And I don't have to do this alone." Her eyes softened, and she leaned into Alex's touch, feeling a wave of comfort wash over her.

With a gentle smile, Alex stood up and offered her hand to help Maggie up as well. "Come on then, let's get you home," she said, her concern mixed with a touch of playfulness. "You can't solve the case if you're sneezing all over the evidence."

Maggie chuckled weakly, accepting Alex's hand and rising to her feet. "You really know how to take the excitement out of detective work, don't you?"

"Just trying to keep you healthy," Alex replied, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. "And if it means taking you off the field and into my care, then I'm more than happy to do it."

They walked together back to the DEO vehicles, where Alex informed her fellow agents that they were heading back to Maggie's apartment so she could rest. A few teasing remarks were thrown her way, but Maggie didn't mind. She knew they meant well.

During the short drive to Maggie's apartment, Alex kept stealing glances at her, concern etched into her features. She reached over and turned on the car's heater, wanting to keep Maggie as comfortable as possible.

"You know, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself," Maggie said with a small smirk, knowing she was starting to sound like a broken record.

"I know you are," Alex replied softly, "but sometimes it's okay to let others take care of you too. Especially when they care about you."

The sincerity in Alex's voice made Maggie's heart flutter. She had seen Alex's caring nature countless times, but now she realized that it wasn't just a friendly gesture. There was something deeper, something she had been oblivious to for far too long.

As they reached her apartment, Maggie invited Alex in, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. They settled on the couch, with Alex making some tea for Maggie to soothe her throat.

Sitting close to each other, their knees almost touching, they began to talk more openly about their feelings, both admitting their attraction to each other. It was a vulnerable and tender moment, but it also felt incredibly right.

With their hearts laid bare, they decided to take things slow, to explore their budding relationship without rushing into anything. But they both knew that what they had was special, and it was worth embracing.

〖 Join My Taglist! 〗 @natashamaximoff69 @lovelyy-moonlight @santana1437 @kljhsong @inluvwithfictionalwomen @shamelessbearunknown @kathleenmikaelson @bloomingflowersthings @observeowl @scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @somber-sapphic

#Sanvers #Alex Danvers x Maggie Sawyer #Maggie Sawyer x Alex danvers #supergirl #Sanvers fanfiction #sickfic #alex danvers sickfic #maggie sawyer sickfic #fluff #supergirl fanfic #supergirl sickfic #comfort

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cardcaptorsakura96 · 7 months

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Taxes, Taxes, Taxes- Chapter 25

Fandom: Supergirl

Characters: Kara Danvers, Clark Kent, Samantha Arias, Lena Luthor, Lillian Luthor, Ruby Arias, Oliver Queen, John Stewart, Diana Prince, Bruce Wayne, Barry Allen, J'onn J'onnz, Alfred Pennyworth, Lois Lane, Cat Grant, Lucy Lane, Damian Wayne, Felicity Smoak, Streaky the Supercat, Martha Kent, Selina Kyle, Talia Al Ghul, Lucius Fox, Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers, Jason Todd, Otis Graves, Lex Luthor

Summary: What if superheroes had to pay a property damage tax every time they had a fight in the city?

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

Lillian walked into the dining room while carrying the main dish for tonight’s dinner: roasted chicken. She was surprised to see Lena walking around the dining room table like a mad woman adjusting silverware and chairs while Sam and Ruby watched over to the side shaking their heads.

Lillian stopped near Sam and Ruby and said softly, “How long has she been like this?”

Sam said, “She has been like this for about an hour now. Ruby and I offered to help, but Lena swatted our hands away from the table.”

Ruby pouted and said, “She said that everything has to be set right on the table. I’ve helped set the table before.” Ruby turned to her grandmother and said, “I thought you told me I was a good helper with the table last time.”

Lillian smiled while kissing Ruby on the forehead.

“You’re a wonderful helper.”

Ruby looked at Lena pouting and asked, “Then why doesn’t Auntie Lena let me help set the table?”

Lillian stared at Lena for a second fusing over the silverware on the table.

Lillian turned back to Ruby, smiled and said, “Sometimes, people get a little carried away when they are trying to impress someone that they are in love with.”

Ruby looked over at Lena curiously and asked, “Falling in love does that to you?”

Sam chuckled and said, “Sometimes it does.”

Ruby muttered, “Well, I hope that love never does this to me.”

Sam chuckled.

Lillian smirked and said, “I don’t know why you are laughing. You should know better than anyone that love can make us do crazy things. I remember a certain someone having us sit through them trying on thirty outfits before their first date with Lucas Johnson during their senior year of high school.”

Ruby looked up at her mom curiously and asked, “Why did you do all of that?”

Lillian chuckled and said, “She wanted to have the perfect outfit. Even though the majority of the stuff she showed us was a variation of the same look.”

Sam groaned and said, “I thought we agreed to never speak of that again especially after Lucas turned out being such a prick.”

Lillian kissed Sam on the forehead and said, “I am just trying to let Ruby know it is normal to have feelings like this is all.”

Sam pouted and said, “At my expense.”

Lillian smirked and said, “Well, think of it this way, you will have a chance to do the same thing when Ruby has a son or a daughter.”

Sam sighed and said, “I don’t even want to think that far now. Ruby is still my sweet little baby.”

Ruby groaned and said, “I’m not a baby anymore.”

Sam smiled and kissed Ruby’s forehead and said, “You will always be my baby.”

Ruby rolled her eyes. Lillian cackled as she placed the chicken on the table. She then went over to Lena who was still fidgeting with the silverware.

Lillian placed a hand on Lena’s shoulder and said, “You know that we got everything covered. The food is ready and the table is set.”

Lena looked at her pouting and said, “Everything needs to be perfect tonight. There is so much left to do and to add to that, Kara is bringing an extra person.”

Lillian chuckled and pulled Lena in for a hug and said, “You worry too much. We were aware of the extra person coming tonight so there is enough food for everyone. The only thing that is left to do is to place all the food on the table.”

Lena looked at the table and said, “Maybe, I could turn that fork just a little to the left.”

As Lena went down to reach for the fork, Lillian grabbed her hand and started to pull Lena away from the table to the living room.

“Hey!” said Lena said loudly.

Lillian guided them over to the coach and pulled them down.

She turned to Lena with a soft smile and said, “You need to calm down.”

Lena looked at Lillian dumbfounded and exclaimed, “Calm down!” Lena said louder, “Calm down! How can you say that to me? I am meeting her family for the first time. Her only blood relative absolutely hates me with a passion.”

Lena looked down while wringing her hands tighter and asked, “What if the others hate me too?”

Lillian pulled Lena in for a hug and Lena leaned into the embrace. Lillian rubbed soothing circles on Lena’s back.

“I think this has to do with one person in particular.”

Lena sniffed and asked, “Why do you say that?”

Read the rest on AO3

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danviers · 1 year

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Somewhere between the mouthful of beer she'd swallowed and the the inhale she drew in through her nose less than a second after the fact, Alex thought she felt her heart twist in her chest — felt it leap in a way that she could only interpret as a too - delayed realisation that she hadn't quite factored the nature of Maggie's workplace into the still - burgeoning equation of their relationship. That, without the countless NDAs that made her own life at the DEO only barely a hair's breadth easier, rumors were practically impossible to squash in such a testosterone - filled environment.

" Okay — that's ridiculous, " she interjected. Questionable, at best. Objectionable, too. " And you shouldn't have to tolerate being gossiped about at work. "

@wingfells cont.

#wingfells #; i never want to stop having firsts with you / alex & maggie

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spaceman-earthgirl · 2 years

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Supercorptober 2022 Day 30: Spell

ao3 fic link. series link.

Kara’s definitely relieved that her sister is okay, glad all it took was one healing potion to mend the bones in her leg, glad she only has to stay a couple of nights in the hospital wing before she’ll be back on the Quidditch pitch again, but that doesn’t mean Kara isn’t bored right now, while she waits for Alex to wake up.

She’d promised she’d come and visit after class, has a pile of homework Maggie gave her to give to Alex, but Alex has been asleep for the past half hour and Kara is getting restless waiting. The rest of the Quidditch team will be by after practice, but that’s not for another hour. She’s already eaten the cakes she stole from the kitchen on the way up to the wing, and she’s just contemplating going to get her own homework (and stopping by the kitchen for more food) when the door to the hospital wing opens.

Kara’s heart lurches in her chest when Lena Luthor walks in, blood dripping from her nose, the front of her shirt-stained red. Kara’s half out of her seat before she realises what she’s doing, and even then she’s not sure what she’s going to do. She’s not friends with Lena, and she has no medical experience, but she feels the sudden urge to do something.

Luckily, the matron is already crossing the room towards Lena, and Kara is sure this is a common occurrence, Lena’s visits to the hospital wing, because Madam M’orzz uses gentle hands to cup Lena’s face, shifting it from side to side to assess the damage.

Kara watches, and though she can’t quite hear what they’re saying, they exchange a few words before Madam M’orzz leads Lena over to one of the beds. A quick swish of her wand and Lena’s nose stops bleeding, and then another spell removes the blood from Lena’s clothes.

The matron lays a hand on Lena’s arm, says something else to her, which Lena nods to, and then Madam M’orzz leaves her sitting on the bed. Kara averts her eyes as soon as the matron is gone, not wanting to be caught staring now that Lena isn’t distracted.

She’s pretty sure she knows who did this to Lena, Morgan Edge and his little band of followers have been bullying Lena since first year. It’s usually subtle, she’s not sure if they’ve ever been caught, or if they have, Morgan usually talks his way out of it. It helps that he comes from a pure blood family and money, and while Lena comes from both of those things too, her name has had a bad rap since her brother killed seven muggles right before Lena started at Hogwarts.

So, she’s not well liked, which Kara thinks is totally unfair, because it’s something her brother did, not her.

They haven’t interacted much, they’re in different houses, and have had a few classes together but they’ve never sat together. The most they’ve interacted was when, last year, Kara had been out for a walk near the Forbidden Forest and had stumbled upon Morgan Edge and a couple of his friends harassing Lena, who looked like she’d just been sitting alone, reading a book.

Kara had intervened, because of course she had, she wasn’t going to sit by and watch anyone be bullied, even if that meant getting on Morgan’s bad side.

Lena had thanked her afterwards but that had been as far as their interaction went. Kara had told the head of her house what she’d seen, but even Professor Grant could do nothing more than keep an extra close eye on Morgan when he was around.

Kara sneaks another glance over at Lena, who’s head is down, her shoulders slumped. Kara makes a snap decision, one definitely not thought through but with a quick glance to check her sister is still asleep, she stands and makes her way over to Lena.

Lena looks up at the movement, but clearly doesn’t think Kara is walking towards her because her head drops again, only to look up in surprise when Kara takes the empty seat beside the bed.

“Hi,” Kara smiles.

“Hi?” Lena looks around, confusion furrowing her brow. “What are you doing?”

“I came to see if you were okay, that was a lot of blood.”

“I am.” Lena looks around again. “Thank you.”

They lapse into silence for a moment, and Kara’s not sure what to say. She wants to ask who it was who hurt her, wants to know if she’s really ok or if she’s just saying she is, wants to know if there’s anything she can do to help.

She really doesn’t know Lena that well, but she wants to.

“Is there something else I can help you with?” Lena asks, polite even in her confusion.

“No. I was just bored waiting for Alex to wake up and thought you might like some company.”

“Aren’t you afraid someone might see us together?”

“No.” She knows exactly what Lena is getting at, Lena isn’t well liked, and by association, that would extend to her. There are only a couple of other people in the wing right now anyway, one of them is asleep at the other end of the room, and the other is reading, paying them no attention.

“You’ll be the one who ends up in the hospital wing next if Morgan or any of his buddies find out you were being nice to me.”

Kara’s about to reply when a black ball of fur jumps up on the bed beside Lena, giving Kara a fright.

Lena clearly knows the cat, smiling as her hand rubs the cat’s head. Kara realises it’s the first time she’s ever seen Lena smile and she has the sudden urge to make her smile herself.

“Who’s this?” Kara asks, reaching out to pet the cat too, Kara grinning when the cat moves into her touch.

Lena looks surprised. “He likes you. He doesn’t like most people.”

And that only makes Kara smile even more. “What’s his name?”

“Salem,” Lena replies, looking more relaxed than she has this whole conversation. “I know having a black cat doesn’t exactly help the rumours about me and my family, but I saw him at the start of third year in Diagon Alley and instantly fell in love. The owner said no one wanted him so I had to get him.”

“I love the name,” Kara grins as the cat moves out of her reach and curls up in Lena’s lap. Looking at the cat, and the way Lena is looking down at him, a lot of things come to Kara’s mind, but none of them bad.

“He mostly stays in my room,” Lena says, hand stroking through the cat’s fur again. “But he must’ve known I was here again and came looking for me.”

With an opening for conversation now, they start talking, and by the time the rest of the Quidditch team show up to see Alex, Kara’s made Lena smile a total of four times and laugh once and she’s not going to tell Alex this, but she’s glad her sister ended up in the hospital because otherwise she’d never have properly met Lena.

She waves goodbye to Lena when Madam M’orzz comes by to tell her she’s free to leave, the matron definitely looking surprised when she sees Lena talking to Kara.

Alex is also surprised when Kara tells her later that evening about her conversation with Lena. But not surprised in a bad way like she’d been worried about (Lena really does have a bad reputation at school) but just surprised that Kara had struck up a conversation with her.

And then the rest of the school is surprised the next morning, including Lena, when Kara enters the great hall for breakfast and makes her way over to the Slytherin table, taking the seat opposite Lena.

“Kara?” Lena asks, eyes wide.

“Hi,” Kara smiles, trying to ignore all the eyes in the hall being directed at them. “Do you mind if I join you for breakfast?”

“Of course not,” Lena says, and the smile directed at Kara makes her stomach flip.

She ignores it, that’s something she can think about later.

“How’s your sister?” Lena asks as Kara snags a piece of toast, still ignoring the curious stares.

She likes Lena, wants to be her friend, and she’s not going to let some stupid rumours or some mean students from getting in the way of that. All she’s seen of Lena in the last 24 hours is she’s nice and kind and smart and nothing like people say she is.

“She’s good,” Kara says, piling more food onto her plate. She has a piece of bacon hanging out of her mouth when she continues. “She’ll be out of the hospital later today.”

“That’s good.” Lena looks down at the pile of food. “Are you really going to eat all of that?”

Kara grins with a shrug and she can already feel it, despite everything, she knows Lena and her are going to become good friends.

(Morgan, of course, targets Kara later that day, trying to scare her off being friends with Lena. Something about Lena being evil and not deserving any friends and he should just leave her alone or him and his friends will have a problem with her too.

Kara sends a hex his way instead, which is funny, even if it lands her in trouble.

But Kara’s threat of more hexes are enough to deter Morgan from bullying Lena anymore, especially when backed up by Kara and her friends (and her sister, Alex is terrifying).

Lena tells this story on their wedding day, how, within a day, she went from being lonely and having no friends, to having a family who would do anything for her).

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #harry potter au #supercorp fanfic #supercorptober2022

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lingeringscars · 4 months

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I should make a separate post just for alex but little things about Derek's death, Meredith leaving, and how it impacts the people left behind.

Maggie feeling abandoned for the first time in her life. Derek made Maggie feel welcome when no one else did. She was struggling to find her footing, her place, missing her family, and reeling from the one she found. But Derek hugged her and invited her over and made her feel like she could have friends or a place here, too. That she wouldn't have to just be the lonely, friendless person in a new place without even her family to rely on.

And despite how they started, Meredith really did become a sister to her. They hung out. They talked to each other. They understood each other. Maggie sent her some when she was worried about Derek because she knew how Meredith's mind worked because it was how hers does. Then Meredith left without telling her, without checking in, and she feels abandoned.

From the moment the news broke, amelia focused on work. She's been here before. She knows what this is like. She knew there would come a time when this could happen. So she bottles it up, lives at the hospital, and does her job. But it's amelia so nothing is ever bottled up. She makes jokes that make people uncomfortable about her dead brother. She's aware that she told Meredith that she didn't understand what it was like to lose the love of her life, but she doesn't care about that. Meredith pulled the plug without calling her, and she will never forgive her for that. She will never forgive Meredith for taking all of this away from her, no matter how unfair it is to hold against her. She finally felt like they were in a good place, and in one move, she stopped trusting mer.

She can't handle this pain, but she's been through it before. She feels it every day. So even though she also feels abandoned, she can keep moving. But she can't go back to that house where Meredith and Derek are both absent (and Owen is present). She can't deal with the looks given to her because her brother died. Every man she has ever loved has died, and she's had to face all of that grief and pain and hurt in a couple months (jackson and aprils baby dying reminding her of her baby, everyone finding out about her boyfriend who died with her in bed with him, telling Meredith about that moment because she lives in that grief and doesn't get to be judged for trying to figure it out, and then Derek dying and leaving her without this person that always protected her even when she didn't want it but now she would kill to have one more day of him undermining her).

And then there is alex. Alex who...wasn't close with Derek so much as he was another colleague. But alex is close with Meredith, and he feels that pain for her. He and izzie got married, and Meredith earlier that year told him that it didn't count because of the circumstances, and he knows what it is for someone you love to die in your arms.

He's been there, and he is there. He watches mer collapse and thinks this is the end. He's going to lose her, too. Because that's all he knows in this life. He's been abandoned more times that he can count, but he does have a count. So Derek dies and he's the only one not trying to talk in that moment. His eyes are locked on Meredith.

And then Meredith leaves. Meredith abandons him. Meredith vanishes without a trace and refuses to pick up the damn phone. But Meredith is his person, too, and that rocks him. Izzie vanished and didn't say anything until he was given divorce papers. He's worried it'll be worse when Meredith resurfaces. She's gone, and she was there after izzie so she knows what this would do to him.

He's calling everyone. Cristina. Meredith's dad. Hospitals around Boston and other areas. He's searching and searching. He keeps calling her, and she doesn't respond. And he's basically going through the motions, but only physically. He isn't being an ass to anyone, he's just there. He's doing his job, but he's not talking.

#sooooo fascinated by what is going on with alex but also the way every char deals #alex isn't a big talker but he talks with his face #and he's just so blank #until maggie and him are talking about mer abandoning her and it all clicking #and him calling her and actually leaving a voicemail #he's said like 4 sentences this entire ep despite being in multiple scenes #im soooo #muse: maggie pierce #meta: maggie pierce #death tw #muse: amelia shepherd #meta: amelia shepherd #muse: alex karev #meta: alex karev

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horsetailcurlers2 · 7 months

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another long obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching greys anatomy for the first time (season 13 bc nobody has stopped me!!)

-oh my god meredith please just tell her you slept with riggs

-yeah DUH amelia you should have gotten to know each other better before you got married

-can i just say that i will never ever base my preconceptions of a show off tiktok again lol. before i watched this show i fully expected to hate maggie and april. i’m nervous bc i’ve also seen people who haven’t watched pp say they hated amelia but so far i don’t see why.

-i’m confused?? amelia has definitely mentioned her anencephalic baby to owen before. maybe she hasn’t laid out the whole story but she definitely mentioned him some time after derek died.

-oooh murphy is back

-bailey is not stupid so why is she acting stupid??? of course this prison has scarce medical resources and the doctors are overworked. what planet do you live on?

-trying to cut dr eliza some slack bc she’s just doing her job, but she could probably do it a way that’s less irritating

-imo alex deserves to be punished. way too many main characters get off too easy when they make fucked up choices. but i selfishly don’t want him to go to prison lol

-bailey is starting to seriously piss me off. i’m not saying all the attendings are in the right for the way they’re acting but what did she think would happen if she brought in some abrasive stranger to take a sledgehammer to their program and undermine the authority of a bunch of tight knit surgeons who are often times like a group of talented toddlers with scalpels

-they should have done a chemistry read with jessica capshaw before they cast minnick lmao. the flirting is so bad and the “sexual tension” thing they’re trying to is almost laughable.

-why on earth WOULDN’T you want an actual peds surgeon to supervise a child’s surgery? whatever phase two of your teaching program whatever…. but what the fuck?

-also “this isn’t about me it’s about edwards” rubs me the wrong way bc actually it’s about the fucking patient

-i think they’ve introduced new exterior shots this season. i like ‘em

-owen pisses me off bc he’s actually a really good friend, but an appallingly bad partner

-maggie could stand to chill out a little bit, even if she doesn’t know about the cancer.

-“a place she loved… by the water” RICHARD

-maggie’s mom is so real “orgasms. they are not a gift. it’s your right” “i wanna die with my eyelashes on”

-the synchronized lasagna eating is what finally made me cry. RIP diane

-“her heart beat for derek shepherd. it never occurred to me that she would be with anyone else” jesus fucking christ why don’t you chill out a little bit arizona

-i like this plane episode a lot. i know it’s not *technically* a bottle episode but it feels like one. what are the odds somebody can be in TWO emergency plane situations in the same handful of years

-meredith definitely fucked up and she should’ve told maggie about riggs WAY sooner but (and i feel mean saying this) maggie is being a little dramatic about a guy she didn’t actually date. it’s the principle though, so i get it.

-jo’s secret abusive husband is will shuester?????

-these fake outs with alex and paul are giving me heart palpitations.

-of course amelia speaks german. that’s so hot

-maybe i’m stupid but i think that if there’s a fire, all the doors to outside should automatically be unlocked

-minnick sucks ridiculously hard

#i think i’m nearing the point where it’s not worth watching anymore #i only have like two more seasons left in me unless something really really interesting happens #or my bestie addison makes an appearance #none of the relationships interest me anymore!#and a lot of the characters are pissing me off!!#but they’re all hot and a little bonkers so i still like them #greys anatomy #these are all tagged under #greys reactions #meredith grey #jo wilson #maggie pierce #amelia shepherd #alex karev

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there-are-many-ways-to-smile · 2 years

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Since I've decided not to watch anymore seasons of Grey's. I want to take this time to talk about stuff I probably have no business talking about because I didn't watch the actual episodes. 😅

This is gonna be very out of order.

☆: As much as I like Bailey, Alex should have the board chair. Cristina left it for him and Richard shouldn't even be allowed to Nominate anyone. He's not even on the board.

☆: Maggie and Jackson dating each other is gross. People keep saying it fine cause they didn't grow up together. I don't care. Them being attracted to each other while their parents are dating/married is disgusting. Like that's literally your legal sibling.

☆: if I watched season 14, Casey Parker would have been a favorite character. I’ve only seen clips on him and top tier, him and Cristina and maybe Alex would have been so powerfully unhinged. Lol

☆: Idk the relationship with Maggie and Meredith but I think Maggie expecting Meredith to tell her everything about her life is a bit much, like it’s so much and she just met you. So obviously she’s not gonna be like here’s my life story. Idk what’s going on with Alex but you can’t fault Meredith for trusting him over Maggie she’s known the dude for like ten years…

☆: Maggie 100 percent should waited to be on better terms with Meredith before dropping the “we share a mom” bomb.

☆: I'm so confused on the Maggie and Jackson getting married thing. Because how would that have worked. Husband and wife while also being step-siblings. 🤮

☆: People keep bringing up Lexie whenever they see Maggie and calling her a lexie replacement. Listen one, Chyler Leigh wanted to be killed off the show, she and Maggie could have been friends or whatever. Stop trying to compare the them. Two, greys anatomy had Maggie planned since day one, albeit more so as a brother.

☆: I would have lowkey loved if Maggie was a brother instead of a sister. I just think would have been interesting. Probably something like

Meredith:"I've never had a brother before"

Derek or someone "what are you talking about? Isn't Alex kind of like having a brother?"

Then a cute scene of Alex and Meredith being like siblings. Idk

☆: the Nathan drama of season 13 is wild, after all that drama that happened when Meredith first met Derek. I can't even imagine her seeing someone know her sister Maggie liked and was actively going on dates with. [Tbh i have no idea if there were dates but the clip made it sound like that.] Nathan is trash for not telling Maggie he liked Meredith.

☆: I just saw Meredith and Jackson goodbye, and I actually like them. I remember when izzie came back to work after the merge and Alex, Cristina, Meredith and Jackson were all eating lunch together, and he said something and one of them was like "who invited you here?" And Meredith was all like "I did." That shit was cute. I wish season 10 and lower had more scenes of them being friends.

☆: I don't like Maggie and Jackson, but emotional cheating is still cheating.. it's exactly like what april was doing to Matthew..

☆: not Stephanie trying to blame the harassment complaints on Leah, like she wasn't one of the reasons Leah did it in the first place. Don't crap where you eat? (This is from the episode where Leah returns, I saw a clip on youtube.)

□: While writing this I'm low-key thinking about going back to binge the show for Alex, but he's goodbye is so bad, and I hate him and Izzie so much. I refuse 😤 also I heard Callie character development suffers a lot 😭

☆: Why would they have Callie keep dating the woman who killed her friend? Hate that (I watched the dinner scene on YouTube)

If I see anymore scenes that I'm like oof to, I'll make a part two

Even though I have zero business complaining 😆

#casey parker #greys anatomy season 14 #meredith grey #jackson avery #cristina yang #greys anatomy #madison bailey #callie torres #april kepner #maggie pierce #alex karev #izzie stevens #nathan riggs #stephanie edwards #leah murphy #penny blake

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throughalleternity · 1 year

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Oh my god, its like you are reading my mind because I always wanted to read a fic where genderfluid!Lucy goes on T but was too afraid to ask nerdsbianhokie because Im not Sure if they would be comfortable with it. So what are your thoughts on Lucy on T? Would they be looking forward to it from the Start, or would they be unsure if its the right Thing at first? And I would love to read a fic where the three of them (Lucy/Leon, Maggie and Alex) are happy and full of suspense watching the first changes that Happen to Lucy on T.

Yayy I love that! I haven't explicitly written Lucy on T, but I def think some of the Lucys I write try it. I have a doc from way back in April 2021 about it and then I just didn't know what I wanted from it or if other people would want it, so it never went anywhere.

I'm going to dump some thoughts below, and I have another ask about Lucy on T that I'm mulling over. As for a fic—I would like to write something, and I might post a mini fic here rather than something longer on AO3 (unless someone says that AO3 is just easier to read on?)

(Also, NerdsbianHokie said that there are very few things they will be uncomfortable with, in terms of prompts/asks, and they'll just say if it's not something they can write. So, just as a general thing, I wouldn't get super worried about making them uncomfortable with asks.)

Leon is confident but a little nervous about T, in the sense that it’s something new and slightly unpredictable, and he’s thinking about Alex and Maggie’s reactions too. He brings it up like “Hey… so I’ve started thinking about trying T”. And they’re super supportive! Which isn’t a total surprise—they had briefly brought up medical transition after Lucy came out, but she hadn’t been sure at the time, so they were like, okay we’ll go with the flow and see. (That convo and processing took longer than that, and they were unsure of how their relationships would look, but now they’ve gotten much more comfortable.)

They all do some research on their own and then talk about it so they can feel pretty prepared going in, know what’s more permanent and what’s more reversible, etc. And since Lucy came out, they’ve gotten better at being more open about their feelings/worries, so their communication is a lot better for this.

Lucy worries about Maggie and Alex not being attracted to her after changes on T, but Maggie’s like “Have you seen my exes? I’ve been attracted to so many different types of people—aliens included. That’s never been something I’ve been limited by.” Alex is like “You know, it made me think about how people change as they age. Or things that can happen with our bodies just randomly, or because of our jobs. And I can’t imagine any of that changing how I feel about you. I know that’s not exactly the same thing, but… it’s you I love, not your body. …Wait, I mean, fuck, that’s not—I also love your body, just—” And before Alex can dig herself deeper, Lucy laughs and says she knows what she means and that she feels better about it.

Changes start slow since he’s on a low dose, which is good because he wants to feel things out and let Alex and Maggie adjust too, but he’s also a little impatient for some changes.

I usually think of him as stopping T after some time because he’s happy with how he feels and how he can be read as more ambiguous now. There are things he misses about being on T, like being more vascular and building muscle easier. But where he’s at, it’s easier to lean masc or fem in terms of presentation, and Lucy doesn’t really want more changes.

Voice changes are what he was mostly looking forward to. It drops gradually (his voice hardly cracks, thankfully) so it’s hard to notice, but a few months in Lois and Clark come by and they’re like, are you sick? Which was really euphoric to hear. And with some voice training to push it up or down, he’s a lot happier with how he sounds. Alex and Maggie are excited for him, since they know his voice was a big source of dysphoria, and well, after they adjust, they find it pretty hot.

#genderfluid!lucy #director sanvers #ask me #supergirl words #gender stuff #supergirl #(I also got the other Lucy + top surgery ask if anon is worried it got lost)#(i just gotta sit down and type thoughts and ive been trying to get to things in order)#(and i am enjoying these asks so thank you! always up for talking about genderfluid!lucy)

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arcturusreads · 2 years

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I Will Wait For You - Merhayes

pairing: meredith grey x cormac hayes word count: 1395 request: yes/no prompt/summary: meredith opens up to some people about her split with cormac and realises that maybe she cared more than she was letting on a.n: still not over them. will never get over them. ao3: saiwriteswords

“Panic attacks?”

“Yes.”

“So, you two are on pause or what?”

“I don’t know! No? I don’t think so. I think we’re just kind of… done… not dating. Not on pause. No expectations of anything else happening. We’re just friends again I guess…” It felt like a stab to her stomach as Meredith admitted the reality of the situation to her sisters.

They were done before they’d even begun and under any other circumstances, Meredith would have been angry. She would have been fuming at the situation. But how could she blame him when he was just trying to look out for his son? Wouldn’t she have done the same thing? She knew she would have. There was no other choice. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt her. That she didn’t wish there was some other way that they could make this work. But there wasn’t and wishful thinking had never gotten her anywhere before. So, what was the point in starting now?

“Are you okay though?” Maggie’s tone was softer than Amelia’s. Less intrusive and that almost made Meredith feel worse. She didn’t want people to pity her. Especially over a guy.

“Yeah. I mean, we never really started anything anyway and his kids should come first.”

And that fact alone didn’t help either. He was a good Dad. A great one. Why wouldn’t she want to be with a guy that wasn’t only good with kids but also had kids himself? She never had to worry about being pulled away when one of hers had a stomach bug or a last-minute dance recital she might have forgotten about because he got it and it had made everything so much easier. Her kids were the most important thing in her life but it also made dating incredibly difficult. Cormac understood that there were always going to be three little people that would come before him because to him there would always be two teenagers that would come before her. And was exactly what this situation was: Cormac needing to make sure his kids were okay before anything else.

--- --- --- --- ---

“Do you want me to come over and kick his ass?”

“You’ve never even met the guy, Alex.”

Alex shrugged through the video call, “Doesn’t matter. When’s that ever stopped me?”

“The last thing me or Izzie need is you in jail… again. It’s like I said, it’s fine. It’s whatever.”

“Sure. That’s why you rang me at 2 am,” he deadpanned, and Meredith didn’t really have an answer to that. “Seriously, Mer, how are you actually feeling about this. Because when Riggs and DeLuca broke up with you, you didn’t care.”

“First of all, they both didn’t break up with me. And second of all, it’s not that I didn’t care.” Meredith tried to argue with him.

Alex just rolled his eyes, “DeLuca definitely broke up with you and Riggs’ ex came back from the dead. Sorry I wasn’t more specific, and you didn’t care. I’m not saying that you didn’t care about them, but you didn’t care when you guys broke up. But you care with this Hayes guy.”

“It doesn’t even matter if I care or not.” Meredith blurted out. “It doesn’t matter because we can’t be together because he has to take care of his kids and you can’t even hate him for a reason like that. And maybe I shouldn’t even be trying to date again because I had my one great love and maybe this in the universe trying to slap me back into place for asking for more.”

A string of unsuccessful dates and relationships had led Meredith to these thoughts in the dark of her bedroom on way too many nights. She knew that she’d never find a love like Derek again. Maybe she’d been stupid to think that she would ever been in another relationship again. It’s not like her life was completely unfulfilled. She had her kids, her career, two sisters that drove her crazy, but she wouldn’t do without them, a nephew, good friends. She had a lot more than most people; a lot more than she had growing up. And there were days Meredith hated herself for wanting more. For wanting someone to wake up next to in the morning again. Derek had been enough. More than enough to last a lifetime but a lifetime with him wasn’t what she ended up getting. And Meredith had eventually gotten her head around that fact. It had taken a while and there were still split second when she woke up in the morning and thought that he would be next to her.

She had managed to accept the thought of dating again, and as much as she hated to admit it, Alex was right. Hayes was the only guy she had actually cared about when he broke up with her. He was the only guy that she had actually managed to imagine a future with. With DeLuca and Riggs, she’d liked them, she could see herself with them for a few months at a time. But it had been difficult for her to see a long-term future. With Hayes, it seemed so easy. The thought didn’t scare her enough to want to run away.

“The universe isn’t slapping you back into place, Mer.” Alex softened his tone. He knew what Meredith was like when she got like this.

“Then what exactly is it doing?” She glared at him.

“When you met Derek, he was a married man.”

“Yeah and I was the slutty intern, I get it.” Sometimes it felt like she could never get away from that.

“No, I’m not on about that. He was married and then Addison turned up and you fought for him, Mer. You wanted to be with Derek, so you fought for him and it worked out in the end.”

Frustrated, Meredith ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t really fight for Hayes when he’s doing this for his kids, Alex. Even I know that there’s a line there that you don’t cross.”

“Mer, do you like this guy?”

Meredith stayed silent for a minute, making Alex impatient. “Mer?”

“Yes.” She finally admitted stubbornly.

“Enough to wait for him?”

“He doesn’t want me to wait, Alex. Doesn’t that tell you everything?”

“Because he cares about you!”

“You don’t know that!”

Alex felt like hitting his head against a wall. He loved Meredith but she could be so stubborn sometimes that talking to her was like navigating a hostage situation. “Mer, I’m a guy. I know how guys think. And I might not know him, but Hayes doesn’t sound like the type of person that just lets anyone into his life. He sounds like he cares about you. A lot. But do you care about him enough to wait?”

“Alex, he-“

“I’m not asking you what he said, Mer. I’m asking, do you care enough to wait?”

Mer bit her lip. She knew what the answer was. That wasn’t something she needed to think about but the reality of it scared her. It scared her that she cared enough to do. It scared her that she could wait for him, and it might not amount to anything.

“Yes,” her voice was smaller than before, and Alex knew that it wasn’t an easy answer for her to give.

“Then tell him that, Mer. Tell him that you’re willing to wait and give him time with his kids until they’re all ready because you’re gonna end up regretting it if you don’t.”

“And if it doesn’t work? If his kids are never ready?”

“I didn’t know you were someone who gave up before they even tried, Mer.” Alex goaded her slightly. It wasn’t an easy task to get Meredith Grey to do something that she didn’t want to do.

“So, I wait?”

“Only if you want to, Mer.”

And she did want to. She wanted to hold onto hope that there was a chance the two of them could be together. That Liam and Austin might be okay with their dad dating again one day. So, Meredith decided that she was going to wait, and she was going to tell Cormac that because as much as she hated having to be vulnerable in front of anyone, she cared about Cormac a hell of a lot more.

#meredith grey #cormac hayes #merhayes #grey's anatomy fanfic #grey's anatomy #sai writes #excuse me whilst i rearrange the alphabet

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