the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.
Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.
And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.
And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.
So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.
I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).
And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.
I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.
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Final Stats:
The top phyla have been ranked thusly, listed here from highest ranking to lowest:
🪲 Arthropoda ~ 2,002
🐠 Chordata ~ 1,780
🐌 Mollusca ~ 1,687
🪸 Cnidaria ~ 1,307
🫓 Platyhelminthes ~ 1,217
🔫 Onychophora ~ 1,180
🔬 Tardigrada ~ 1,101
🌈 Ctenophora ~ 1,013
⭐️ Echinodermata ~ 947
🪱 Annelida ~ 681
🧽 Porifera ~ 535
👥 Bryozoa ~ 331
⚪️ Placozoa ~ 328
⛱ Brachiopoda ~ 303
⚙️ Rotifera ~ 298
🍆 Priapulida ~ 216
🧲 Phoronida ~ 178
🌍 Nematoda ~ 169
🐉 Kinorhyncha ~ 169
🌰 Hemichordata ~ 169
🎉 Loricifera ~ 147
🎗 Nemertea ~ 138
❄️ Micrognathozoa ~ 124
🧪 Xenacoelomorpha ~ 123
🍴 Entoprocta ~ 111
👛 Cycliophora ~ 110
🦷 Gnathostomulida ~ 100
🏹 Chaetognatha ~ 83
🧶 Gastrotricha ~ 82
🐙🔍 Dicyemida ~ 19
🦪🔍 Orthonectida ~ 12
🐴✂️ Nematomorpha ~ -37
The top 3 phyla are Arthropoda, Chordata, and Mollusca!
This means Arthropoda, Chordata, and Mollusca will be moving on to Round 2, and broken up by Class (or some other phylogenetic equivalent).
But that’s not all!
After Round 2, we will have an extra Round 2.5, featuring every other phylum that received over 1,000 points! This will give some of the more highly ranked phyla a second chance to move on, and make Round 3 a little more interesting.
Round 2.5 will include Cnidaria, Platyhelminthes, Tardigrada, and Ctenophora.
(Unfortunately, I can’t include Onychophora as it only contains 2 families without class or order ranking, so I will have to preemptively move them forward to Round 4 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
To give myself enough time to queue up polls, Round 2 will begin November 1st.
See you then!
Extra Awards:
Phylum Porifera
~ had the highest percentage of likes at 50.8%
Phylum Placozoa
~ had the highest amount of neutral votes at 295
Phylum Xenacoelomorpha
~ had 0 hates
Phylum Platyhelminthes
~ had the most votes at 620
~ had the highest amount of loves at 245
~ had the highest amount of likes at 204
Phylum Gastrotricha
~ had the lowest amount of favorites at 2
~ had the lowest percentage of favorites at 0.7%
Phylum Mollusca
~ had 0 dislikes
~ had the third most reblogs at 86
Phylum Entoprocta
~ had 0 hates
Phylum Phoronida
~ had 0 hates
Phylum Orthonectida
~ had the lowest amount of likes at 20
~ had the least notes at 17
~ had the least reblogs at 6
Phylum Dicyemida
~ had the least votes at 158
~ had the lowest amount of loves at 4
~ had the lowest percentage of loves at 2.5%
~ had the highest percentage of neutral votes at 67.9%
Phylum Micrognathozoa
~ was our first single species to be ranked
~ had 0 hates
Phylum Rotifera
~ had 0 hates
Phylum Nematomorpha
~ had the highest amount of dislikes at 74
~ had the highest percentage of dislikes at 30.1%
~ had the highest percentage of hates at 11.4%
~ was the only phylum with a negative ranking
Phylum Onychophora
~ had the most notes at 310
~ had the most reblogs at 115 (though a lot of them happened after the poll closed)
Phylum Arthropoda
~ was the only phylum to get over 2,000 points
~ had the second most reblogs at 101
~ had 0 hates
Phylum Echinodermata
~ had the highest percentage of loves at 52.8%
~ was the only phylum to not receive any dislikes or hates
Phylum Chordata
~ had the highest amount of favorites at 334
~ had the highest percentage of favorites at 71.5%
~ had the lowest percentage of likes at 4.9%
~ had the lowest percentage of neutral votes at 0.6%
~ had the highest amount of hates at 37
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i love you systems with different or more specific experiences <3 i love you introjects with different/mixed sources dating or being friends <3 i love you undiagnosed systems <3 i love you introjects with multiple sources <3 i love you introjects with creators who are aren't the best people and/or not working on their source anymore <3 i love you factives that are nonhuman in headspace <3 i love you introjects with specific and lesser known sources <3 i love you introjects who look/act nothing like their source <3 i love you systems with detailed headspaces <3 i love you systems with little to no headspace or low detailed/smaller headspaces <3 i love you systems with small amounts of headmates <3 i love you polyfragmented systems <3 i love you frontstuck alters <3 i love you alters who are scared to front <3 i love you systems who switch all the time <3 i love you systems who rarely switch <3 i love you alters who are animals, objects, concepts, and songs <3 i love you brainformed alters without sources <3 i love you systems with complex sexualities and genders and romantic orientations <3 i love you systems with majority one gender or sexuality <3 i love you transgender systems <3 i love you disabled systems <3 i love you autistic systems <3 i love you schizospec systems <3 i love you systems with ocd <3 i love you systems with tic discorders <3 i love you systems YOU ARE ALL VERY COOL AND AWESOME MWAH you're all doing great and i hope every system who reads this has an amazing day and night ^^
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