#< again i dont care if you do like them but im exercising my right to hate viciously and unrepentantly

[yourunhingedgirlfriend]

Creating the yanbois in Sims 4 and "accidentally" trapping them in the basement:

(I was inspired to do this after Nick creates Fone and Krow in Sims 4. And please dont attac me, ik their appearance is not accurate bc there's a limited male cc that fits on them, and im using mostly maxis match cc bc alpha cc is not my taste so yea, its hard to find exactly the hair and their exact ootd. Just doing this for fun, instead of doing my laundry and going to grocery)

(From left to right: Ezra, Friend, Harper, Fone, Krow, Ren, Nova and MC)

DAY 1:

- MC just invited them to a dinner party. They didnt suspect anything, maybe MC just like the basementcore aesthetic they've said. Until they realized, the door wont open and MC is nowhere to be found..

- its time for a group huddle with Mallows (the cat in a bee costume) as their advisor. Mallows keeps going down in the basement, maybe bc Fone is there? Idk but yea, im just going to make him my warden. Mallows will be MC's eyes.. But something happen:

- well, Mallows the Cat in a Bee Costume, is a strict warden. He keeps hissing and ends up fighting with Nova and Fone (the betrayal). Everytime they do group huddle, Mallows are doing jiu jitsu on them 😂 The reason: Mallows just woke up and choose violence that day.

-and theres Friend, the type of roommate who loves to clean, like the first thing he do is judge my kitchen counter and brushed it aggresively, like hey its not even dirty!? Friend doesnt care that he has been trapped in a basement. The most important thing is to make this place clean. The entire time, besides Mallows Wrestlemania segment, Rens infamous Mac & Cheese and the group meeting, he goes back cleaning and washing the dishes.

- and here is Ezra questioning how MC pulled a reverse uno card on him and yep! thats the face of pure regrets of eating Ren's Mac & Cheese. (I missed to take a screenshot of that moment when Ren is cooking Mac and Cheese, Fone and Nova keeps teaching him how to cook, Ren dropping the salt shaker in the pan and Ezra being the first one to eat it)

- Nova and Harper fighting for this one bed, even tho there are 7 beds. They keep doing a staring contest, whoever blink, will lose this bed (like its always this bed, sometimes if Harper is the one who sleep on this one, Nova would sleep on the floor instead of choosing another bed 😭 Nova, i have this urge to put a vent on the basement just to spite you.. Stop sleeping on the flooooor!

- Ren and Krow napping peacefully on their first day as long as Ren promised to never cook again. And yes, finally they used their own bed! They discovered that the bed I put in there is for sleeping not for just aesthetic n shit, praise the lo-

- and a rare photo of Fone exercising 😊 after turning off the tv everytime someone watches it. Fone cares about MC's electric bill. Be like Fone. I refuse to use motherlode so you really need to save on electricity guys.

- and introducing MC, was recently turned as a vampire and instead of buying a blood pack, they choose to build a basement, and put all the yanbois and make them her own blood bank.

Will try to add the another yanbois like Virgil, Robin, Morogh, Henry, Keith, Ten etc. Just hoping that my Sims wont crash 🤞 (bc the maximum household members including pets are 8, so i think but im hoping that it will not be laggy when I add another batch of yanbois hahahahaha, i can hear now my pc cursing me in c++ language 😂)

[groupieculture]

I often times feel like I will never find someone who truly loves and worships me. The guys I’ve met through online dating all showed interest at first but no one really cared to stick around or tried to really get to know me better. It results in a constant fear and ongoing pessimistic state of mind once I begin to chat with a guy cause I know that it will not last and he will lose interest. I just don’t understand why it is so easy for other girls. Like I want to stay true to myself and don’t want to change for anyone but I also just want to be liked. I also don’t want to lose hope but it’s just a pattern I’m tired of. I’m 26 as well and I feel like some times you had similar thoughts so maybe you understand.

i get it angel and its very hard i know! i think the trick is to reframe this as a 'you' problem which is really hard coming from a person who struggles with this every day because of my past experiences with men, but (now im speaking from experiences) 1) dating and finding your soulmate is honestly a numbers game and luck 2) yes its very hard to be in this situation but a tough love mindset absolutely needed to be integrated into my brain - not saying that you need to man up and not feel bad ever again but if you keep feeling this way its very hard to come out of it. thinking about it all day long it hinders every part of your life at least it did for me. 3) refocus your thoughts onto anything else when you feel those sad feelings coming up - feeling them over and over again everyday will harm your psyche irreparably and there is no gain in feeling those feelings. you have a right to feel sad, but dont exercise it whenever you want because youll want to do it all the time

[faggotmox]

ranger vents abt the doctor's office under the cut

there was something truly unhinged abt a thing that happened today.

the last primary care appointment i had went really bad, my nurse practitioner so very horrible to me. i ended up very nonverbal during the appointment bc she was so horrible to me, she refuses to treat me like im autistic. when i bring up concern abt certain things she completely shut it down, blames it on me, ect. (as if its my fault my t shot routine is disrupted by her not sending my t script to my pharmacy. she often takes a week to refill my t, & often doesn't send or write the script for needles/syringes). anyways, the point is last time i saw this lady i was non-verbal, shaking, very negative body language, ect.

so today i went to my therapy appointment which is in the same clinic. as my therapist was walking me out, my np came out of her office & cornered me in the hallway. she was smiling at me all sweet & said, i fuckin kid you not, this bitch said to me "you look a lot better than the last time i saw you. are you feeling better?"

miss ma'am, i just spent a week immobile bc you refuse to do anything abt my autoimmune disorder, my joint damage/pain, & muscle issues. i can "look better" bc i wasn't seeing her & i wasn't *AFRAID* bc i wasn't supposed to see her. my entire demeanor changed when she started talking to me. i told her "im feeling a little bit better. but then again therapy with [therapist name] always makes me feel a little better." & she just...it just went right over her head.

the last time i was seeing her she told me she needed to give me "tough love" basically bc i ask for the same things over & over & she does nothing abt them so i come off as whiny & like im refusing to fix my own issues (as iff i didn't start working out, wearing inserts in my shoes, eating better, working on my posture, going to therapy, ect isn't trying to remedy or lessen some of my issues).

like what fucking medical professional thinks they need to give their disabled, under-serviced, abuse survivor patient "TOUGH LOVE"

for years & god damn years i was written off for all manner of reasons by medical professionals. it turns out im not just a fat, lazy pieace of trash & that's not the reason my back hurts. my motherfucking back hurts bc i have a very severe, special form of arthritis mixed with bursitis. in high school i "hurt" my back to the point i legit could not love over five times, each time i was just told i was too fat & needed to exercise. i lost over 100 pounds, worked out for my disibities, & protected my back. IT DID LITERALLY NOTHING TO RELIEVE ANY SYMPTIONS . what tough love do i need? when the world has been tough on me since day one.

the amount of "rare" issues ive had SINCE BIRTH (i was born with a literal one in a million skin disease that is a congenital birth defect except for IN ME THE WEIRD CASE where it was a mutation & there weren't genetic markers for the disease even though i had one of the most documented cases of the disease. i was born autistic & waved every single autistic red flag including the big one: delayed speech. the stomach issues i always had that were bc im gluten & soy intolerant that were again just blamed on my being fat & eating badly. theres so many examples i can keep going) is staggering & the majority of it has been ignored or misdiagnosed.

i just don't think i, or anyone else, deserve to get "tough love" from thier medical professional. ive had tough love all my fuckign life & its whats killing me. idk im just ranting now but i just dont understand how these fucking people can & are allowed to get away with literal abuse. i came from a truly abusive clinic, & while this new one isn't nearly as bad it's still abusive. my np is still abusing me by refusing to believe me & take care of me in a timely manner. my pain scale maxes out in the regular basis. i was standing at work today on only my right leg bc my left knee was so, so fucking painful i couldn't put pressure on it. when my move you can hear pops & cracks, & they dont stop. i just moive my shoulder & it makes loud sounds.

but yeah i just need to do more or whatever. im just a lazy piece of trash & my physical & mental state are just my fault. i wish i could break her legs & tell her to just keep walking. i wish i could get her career ruined bc she, & everyone else like her, is ruining my life. if i kill myself some day it wil, without a doubt, be a result of these things. i've lived my life for over twenty five year begging & pleading for help bc im hurting so fucking much. i used to pray that i'd have to be put in a wheelchair.

why is it okay for people to tell me live like this when they have the power to help? every medical professional ive ever had deserves to live a month in my life. in constant pain & nausea, unable to eat or sleep right, unable to do things normal folks can do. i hope & pray these people also wish for death. i hope they know my pain bc i fucking hate them & they deserve the horrible life i live.

[svankmajerbaby]

✨️🎀🎈💞💝🕯🎙🤲💌

!! thank u so much for the ask. i love talking about writing......

✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

-hmm theres a point in which i have to tell myself not to worry about likes or comments bc what really matters is me getting the practise and exercising my writing muscles and having fun with it... But. i do wish i could get more ppl into my toy story fic. its got a whole bunch of wonderful comments and kudos and stuff, i just feel so proud of it and writing it came so easy and i poured so much of my love into it, i really really wish anyone who loves these characters would read it too.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

-english is not my first language so grammar isnt often The Best, but i take a lot of care with using words and expressions as correctly as possible, and I try to always spell words right (i dont think ive ever confused loose and lose, for example, which ive seen confused a few times). some descriptions of spaces are particularly well done, at least to my own criteria, and the song choices are fun (or at least fun to write and picture in my head).

🎈 describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

- honestly, ive no idea. i think i get verbose, and i write long dialogue scenes. i overuse the — to lead into another thought, because thats kind of like how my mind works. i try to be "cinematic" in my writing and always start a scene with a description of a place, its lighting and its sounds, like im used to when writing scripts. and i got the sense that usually the characters often ramble and go on long discussions about stuff that maybe normal people wouldnt just start out discussing so strongly. but honestly id much rather someone else outside my own perspective told me what my writing is like, i would trust them more than my own opinion.

💞 what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

-the characters!! everything is important, and stuff like grammar often jumps out first for me... but i need to enjoy how the characters are written, and feel like theyre real people with genuine motivations and interactions. i dont mind too much if theyre not super alike to canon, as long as they feel true to the core of their personality and values.

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

-i was surprised to even get comments on my barbie frankenstein one. i loved writing it and it came through so easily and comfortably, but even though i had used that moderately popular meme of reimagining barbie as a gothic protagonist as inspiration i didnt really think it would be anything but something i liked to picture existing. i was so happy to see people enjoyed it too.

🕯️(there are two questions with this candle emoji symbol? i chose the first one, idk why theres two) was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

-the tiff fic :'^) ive always liked writing sorta dark stuff, ever since i was little, but this was on another level. sometimes i felt (and still do) feel a bit awkward bc i really do push myself to write stuff i feel a bit embarrassed or shocked by, but i do think that if i want to be a better writer it does me good to make an effort to depict stuff that makes me uncomfortable and seek to write it in a sense of finding a way to both make if effective and relatively tasteful (or at the very least in-character).

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

- i have never heard about pod-fic before, but i guess i can imagine what it is (wonder if its like an audiobook, or if it has sound effects and the like??). i would love to listen to an audiobook of the barbie frankenstein fic mostly bc i would love so so much to hear the dramatic literary dialogue ive written in kelly sheridans barbie voice. also now that i think about it i have no idea what the creature would even sound like... that would be an interesting challenge.

🤲 what do YOU get out of writing?

-practise writing in english, a sense of accomplishment (when i get to finish something!!) and every once in a while some strong validation in the form of ppl liking what i write... all of it is super valuable to me, especially practise and the push and drive to finish stuff to upload, but the validation in particular just really hits that dopamine in my brain i guess

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

-its from the glen and glenda fic im halfway planning! i got a few dialogues written and some scenes sketched out, but its still a long way to go. im very excited about it tho! ive grown to really love the versions of the twins ive made in my head. hopefully theyre faithful to their screen depictions while also adding a bit more depth and character building ive wanted to take them through.

[thingstotellthem]

i cant take it anymore i fucking cant take it aNYMORE YOURE MY MOTHER YOU'D HAVE THE MISSION TO PROTECT AND LOVE ME BUT INSTEAD YOU FUCKING MANIPULATE ME, GUILT TRIP ME, GAS LIGHT ME, MAKE YOUR TRAUMAS WORSE THAN MINE, I CANT TRUST YOU WITH SHIT OTHERWISE YOU'LL USE THEM AGAINST ME

i JUST WANTED A HAMSTER TO TAKE CARE OF AND NOW YOU TELL TO MY RELATIVES THAT IM IRRESPONSIBLE, PERSONAL THINGS ABOUT ME, THAT I CANT TAKE CARE PROPERLY OF MY BIRD AND DOG AND YET YOU SAY YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT IM ACTING LIKE A BRAT FOR BEING PISSED LIKE THAT AND THAT IT'S MY PROBLEM? FUCK YOU

i lOVE YOU BUT I HATE YOU AT THE SAME TIME

WHO CARED ABOUT TAKING THE DOG TO THE VET WHEN THE DOG ATE SOAP? WHO CARES ABOUT THE VACCINES OF THE DOG?

I WASNT THE ONE WHO HIT AND KICKED THE DOG, WAS I? OR GET DISGUSTED WHEN THE DOG GIVES YOU A LOVE LICK

OR SCREAM AT ME WHEN I TAKE THE COCKATIEL OUT OF THE CAGE BECAUSE BIRDS NEED TO FUCKONG EXERCISE AND SPREAD THEIR WINGS AND SOCIALIZE

FUCKING HELL IM SO DONE WITH ALL THIS IM FUCKING CLOSE TO CUT MY WRISTS AGAIN

YOU DONT EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME OR RESPECT ME, YOU DONT TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY FEELINGS, YOU'RE MAKING MY DEPRESSION WORSE AND YOU DONT EVEN TRY TO HELP OTHER THAN PAYING THERAPY, i neeD THERAPY BUT YOUR SUPPORT IS SHIT AND IT MAKES ME FEEL WORSE

IM SO FUCKING DONE, YOURE A CHRISTIAN AND WHAT KIND OF CHRISTIAN HITS HER DAUGHTER AND SPIT ON HER FACE WHEN SHE HAS OCD WITH GERMS?

FUCK YOU

i DONT WANT YOU TO DIE BUT I WANT YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME

2/2

IM HANGING ON JUST BECAUSE OF MY GIRLFRIEND AND DOG

OH, BUT SINCE YOURE A CHRISTIAN SO INTOLERANT AND CLOSE MINDED, YOU'D THROW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE IF YOU FOUND OUT IM DATINF A GIRL RIGHT???

IF I DIDNT HAVE THE DOG AND MY GIRLFRIEND I WOULD HAVE ALREADY KILLED MYSELF

AND HANGING ON TO SAVE MONEY AND FUCKING RUN AWAY FROM THIS SHIT ASS COUNTRY AND GO TO MY GF'S COUNTRY WHERE I CAN BE HAPPY AND HAVE THE PETS I WANT AND TREAT THEM WELL

I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT

IS THAT BECAUSE I HAVE ANXIETY AND OCD AND BIPOLAR DEPRESSION AND TAKE MEDS? OS IT BECAUSE IM NOT NORMAL TO YOUR STANDARDS? I ALWAYS HAD GOOD GRADES ON SCHOOL AND YOU NEVER CARED

WHEN I FIRST LEARNT TO READ, YOU AND DAD DIDNT GIVE A FUCK

WHEN I CAME HOME CRYING BECAUSE OF THE BULLYING AND THREATS I SUFFERED ON SCHOOL AND SCHOOL BUS, YOU AND DAD DIDNT GIVE A SHIT AND LET ME CRY

AND A YEAR AFTER, WHEN I TURNED 11, I HAD TO TAKE STRONG MEDS FOR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, ALL BECAUSE YOU DIDNT MOVE A FINGER TO HELP ME

AND NOW YOU BLAME ME FOR BEING WEAK AND TAKING THOSE MEDS

I CANT FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE IM TIRED OF THESE FLASHBACKS OF ABUSE IM TIRED IM TIRED IM TIRED IM SO FUCKJNG TIRED I WANT TO END MY LIFE

[dawnowar]

Spending my Xmas days off cleaning the house

Went to get my annual eye exam today before the end of the year and my prescription hasn't changed which is cool because i have roughly 50 pairs of glasses now and I don't want to have to start over. Makes me want to buy more even though i clearly do not need more but that never stopped me before.

I was going to take myself out for chicken wings so i asked where the best ones are and then went there. It was a sports bar with a big "seat yourself" sign, so I did and promptly got completely ignored by everyone who works there. As i sat on the uncomfortable chair waiting for no one to take my order I noticed how much i hate this place and the crowd that came with it and the many blaring TV with football games on it, so I left and ordered wings from Sheetz from my phone in the parking lot which were ready in the time it took me to drive there and pick them up.

Ate wings with my cats on my comfy sofa in my own time which made me much happier. Got a good shake too for less money than it would have cost me at the sports bar and then i would have had to tip the waitress for giving me shitty service on top of it.

Yeah i know its Christmas Eve Day and a Sunday at that and maybe its not the best day/time to happen into a sports bar that's one of the places staying open for people to drink at on Xmas Eve but whatever. I had a shitty experience and I'm not sorry for leaving.

I'm doing laundry including all the various holiday themed outfits so i can put them away and the bedding and anything I've been meaning to wash and not getting to. I decluttered a lot of the living room and i have intentions of decluttering the bathroom and cleaning the kitchen before the holiday is over.

I have a frozen lasagne for dinner tonight and some texas toast. It's not a typical tradition but it's mine.

I've been sick for a couple of months. All normal stuff just one sickness after another. I havent been well for more than a few days before i get the next thing and i'm so ready to be well again but I didn't go out to the before-christmas parties and I guess im glad because it seems everyone got covid at a thing I skipped so I stopped feeling bad about not going out now I'm well enough to go out again.

In fact ive been collecting clothes and makeup and such. Online shopping while I've been sick for my return to going out again and i just havent gone out again. But its winter now and I ate too much between being sick and inactive and the holidays, i need to diet and exercise again for a bit i think before i get in some of these clothes.

I am expecting to go out for New Years Eve. I like to drink some champagne with strangers in a fancy dress for that holiday.

I have an idea where im going but i dont know what i will wear. But I have choices which is awesome.

I've been taking an estrogen/progesterone cream because I was having hot flashes due to menopause that was waking me up every hour and i was so tired from not being able to sleep properly.

This stuff had me sleeping great right away so I was totally into it but now I'm sleepy all the time even when I don't do anything and I'm cutting the dosage in half hoping that makes some difference.

Not sure what it'll do but im trying it now and not when i need to be at work all day in the morning in case I can't sleep. Last night i did the first half dose and I woke up hungry in the middle of the night but i didn't wake up with a hot flash so it was inconclusive.

I don't miss the hot flashes and I'm sure i'd rather be overtired from estrogen than sleep-deprived from lack of estrogen but hoping to find a happy medium where im not tired all the time.

I dont care a thing about Christmas but im happy to have these days off. We should get a bunch of days off every two or three months just because imho.

To catch up on what you need to catch up on and do Drs appointments and service your car and shit.

I pretty much gave up on 2023 a few weeks ago when I realized I basically wasnt going to be well enough to do any of the fun holiday stuff and I may as well just stay home and clean. I'm fine with all this. It needs to be done and the more I do the more I start to feel like I'm reclaiming my life as I am reclaiming my house.

So its time to fold and put away the laundry in the dryer and rotate in another load.

Happy Holidays.

[liliumwallichianum]

4.16

i have no choice but to not read the words i write and just write from my heart and allow the words to pour out of me. i am very grateful for R and lax. and all the other people i find absoltuely unbearably annoying in this world. i am stripping myself of my own expectations and taking matters into my own hands. i am allowing the hurt to pass through me instead of being stuck in me. im processing hurt from 4 years ago.... and it’s intense. and i dont feel fun right now. i feel hella cute tho i would like to say.. lol i think it’s absurd i feel scared to compliment myself as if it’s something i am gonna get taken away from me... like everything else in life. okay that was dramatic but you see where im coming from right... lol sihg. @god are you out there because i could use a hug and some coddling. i need to be held and told im doing just fine and that i am enough and everything will work in divine timing... 

dear god please continue to strengthen my intuition and discernment for what is right and wrong for me. please continue to remove people in my life that are just blockages in my journey to become my best self. ocntinue to protect and take care of the wones that my pepole (obvi i know you will protec t and take care of everyone but my specific prayer today is for my powers to be sent to all of my loved and cherised people) 

dear god please take me to my purpose a little faster... im exercising patience the best i can and i do believe all of this time is meant to be for a reason but i am ITCHING to make way on my path... 

dear god please let my person know i am angry at him today. because he’s not here. and im pmsing. and i miss his silly ass. please let him know im patiently waiting for the biggest best bear hug i can possibly get. please tell him he owes me a neck rub and a hundred thousand kisses on my cheeks.  please tell him i love him and life is really hard without him but i know im doing all of this to be strong for us and our future. 

dear god please let my siblings have fun on their trip to europe and keep them safe and protected. please let them relax because they truly deserve it. please let them eat the best foods and have the best laughs together. 

dear god please please dont take my absence of emotion or prayer a sign that i am taking you for granted. i am just tired and a little depressed. i cant think clearly right now but you are at my core soul purpose every day i promise you. please bring me out of this fog so i can feel connected to you again. please know i love you so much and i love being a child of god so much and i promise i will find my way back to alignment very soon.... i love you i love everyone i love myself i love lvoe lvoe. love will save me <3

[calsgotdepression]

7/30/22

im a month out from surgery and im feeling a lot better but still feel hopeless. i love my family and my friends and i know they reciprocate but i have nothing i feel to really give them. i either feel too much or too little and never in the right times. im happier than ive ever been but without a goal to work towards now, i feel aimless. im going to college with tuition paid for but i dont want to go, and there’s nothing i want to do when im older. i never thought id live this long. the talents i do have are fairly meaningless and though i dont actively feel suicidal i cant help but feel my impending doom in the future. right now im fine. ill wake up tomorrow and go about my day and maybe even feel happy and pet my cat but i know eventually im going to be the one to take myself out. ive always felt this way. i wish i didnt feel so sad and so empty and so full all at once. i want to enjoy things but i want to stop eating. i want to adopt several cats but i dont want to take care of myself. im on meds, im doing fine, but jesus im sick of being tired all the time. i want to exercise but i cant take the step to get there. i want to brush my teeth but my sensory disorder makes me gag the second the paste touches my mouth. im tired of not being able to eat with my family or friends or around anyone or listen to any mouth noises at all without feeling so miserable and angry and would rather hurt myself no matter the consequence just to feel something other than the feeling i get when i hear those noises. i feel like i wasnt meant to live in this world. im here now but i feel out of place. i feel like i cant walk right anymore, one of my legs gives out a bit. im not ugly but im not attractive, i feel lovable and equally that i dont deserve to be loved and ill never find that love. i want a relationship but i dont. im terrified to walk alone on the sidewalk or even in a grocery store or anywhere. even with people i cant stand up straight and i feel everyones stares at me even if they dont. or maybe they do, i dont know. im not delusional anymore but there was something comforting about having a magical quality to life. the cons were many and i dont want to be like that again, but the delusions of grandieur made me feel like i was okay to exist in this world. like i could control the weather or had friends of higher powers than me and i felt special and important. now im just some guy and i wish i had never read those fucking fantasy books when i was younger because now im a disappointed adult who craves anything interesting. i dont actively do anything to put myself in harms way but i like it when im hurt, especially when you can see it as other people start to care then. even with people who care now with no questions asked i feel the need to show every scar and cut and bandage everything because ive got nothing else thats interesting about me. i like cats. i wasnt meant to live this long. i dont think ill ever find love in anyone romantically. i dont know if itd be better if i was dead or not but i know that the future holds me with a noose tied around my neck and it gets tighter every day. one day its going to choke me out of all my life and i know that. i dont know, im not omnipotent or omniscient whatever it is. i wish i believed in a god so that i felt comfort in dying knowing that id get to see the people i love and have loved again. i hope there is. i cry because people make art and care about each other and love each other and i want to hug every single person in the world but i cant. i cant even like myself. 

[xtodorcki]

hiii hope your having an amazing day :) do you make headcanons? if you do and if you don't mind can i request headcanons for Izuku, Bakugo, and Denki about being in a secret relationship (i really love your stories about characters being in a secret relationship) and them accidentally outing their relationship because something happened (you can choose what happened) thank you so much!! also if you dont do headcanons you can choose one from the three on the imagine ❤️ I'm sorry if this is confusing 😅

“Secret Relationships,” Midoriya, Bakugou and Denki headcanon

YES IM GLAD YOU REQUESTED THIS UGH, I gotta do my sweet baby Bakugou first🥺

Summary: having a secret relationship with one of the guys and it’s get leaked.

Each section would probably be a little short, I apologize in advance🥺

Warnings: none!

.

.

.

Bakugou:

The relationship between you and Bakugou was always strange but once the students had to move on campus in the dorms, it turned into a whole different story.

The secret meetups late at night in his room, turned into nothing more than a secret relationship. The way your sleep schedule was beyond screwed up from being up late in his room and having to wake up early to go back to your room before anyone noticed.

It had been going on for months so by now you were used to the secrets and sneaking around along with barely having any sleep the next day while in class.

The more the relationship progressed, the more Bakugou would steal quick glances at you and even when you were in the kitchen with the other students, he would purposely slide behind you and touching your back in the process.

One day in particular, the class had decided to have a game night and he wasn’t too thrilled about joining in. He had tried to convince you to come back to his room but you had told him it would make things obvious if only the two of you were absent.

He huffed, at this point he didn’t really care about the class nor their opinions on anything. He was a ball of fire afterall so when he saw you sitting with the class as they gathered up board games, he was over with keeping things a secret, he wanted it to be known that you were his and he wanted you upstairs in his room.

“I don’t wanna play this stupid game night.” Bakugou said in front of everyone but he was directing it towards you and you tried to ignore him.

“That’s fine, you don’t have to be here dude.” Kirishima patted his back, sitting down at the table and he huffed out a breath dramatically, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m not talking to any of you idiots.. Y/N.” He said your name sternly, like he was giving you a direct order by the look of his red eyes.

“Why are you so worried about Y/N being here with us?” One of the classmates mentioned and you had cursed under your breath, Bakugou was acting like a child.

“Because I want my girlfriend upstairs with me.” Bakugou angrily said, everyone growing quiet and you had gulped the lump in your throat, well there goes the secret.

Everyone’s eyes had landed on you and your cheeks turned a dark shade of red before you slide the chair back and stood up. You have never felt this embarasssed in your life, he could’ve done this any other time in a completely different way but of course the asshole had to make everything a big deal.

“No way,” Denki mumbled, trying to hold the laugh that was begging to come out.

You dismissed yourself, walking over to where Bakugou was and punched his arm as hard as you could, cursing under your breath and he smirked while wrapping his arm around your shoulders, winking back at the rest of the class.

“God, you’re so fucking embarrassing, Katsuki.” You muttered, following him to the elevator to go up and he tugged you closer.

“Oh shut up, you love it.”

As you two waited for the elevator, you couldn’t help the feel the classes eyes on the both of you. It was even more humiliating as you had to wait for the doors to slide open. You heard a few of them whisper about you two being a thing, some had mentioned how obvious it was and some mentioned had you two were complete opposites.

Bakugou obviously didn’t care, instead he liked to annoy everyone, especially you. So hearing people whisper about had fed onto the asshole ego he had, making his large hand grab your chin and give you a rough kiss on the lips in front of everyone.

The way your face was completely red at this point and all he did was give the classmates a evil grin before dragging you into the elevator and pushing the button for his floor.

“Why can’t you ever be casual?”

“Do you not know me? I’m far from casual.” He nudged you gently, laughing at your tomato red face and moved his thumb to brush across your cheek.

“Yeah, clearly.”

.

.

Denki:

You had a crush on Denki for what seemed like forever. Since the first moment you met him on the first day of school till now. It was pretty obvious how much you liked him. Eventually you became bold enough to ask him to hang out.

Now you two have been dating for only a few weeks, you both had agreed to keep it private to enjoy the privacy and the time alone before the classmates end up finding out.

Of course you knew Denki a little too well at this point, you knew he would end up slipping up the secret sooner or later but it didn’t entirely bother you that it’ll happen.

And you were right, after a training exercise and having to go through some obstacle course that Aizawa had set up, he had sparked a fuse and as his brain suffered a shortage, his mouth had instantly opened and talked about you.

You couldn’t help but be over protective when he did go through that shortage phase, quickly taking care of him and making sure he was comfortable was a habit you picked up.

“So pretty.” He muttered as he reached for you in front of everyone and you froze in your place until he had wrapped his arms around you, clinging onto your body.

Your cheeks flushed, grabbing onto his body and holding him up straight so he didn’t lose his balance. He continued to mutter words like how you’re so pretty and he even slipped up how he was lucky to have you.

“Aww, Denki is in love.” Sero had laughed at his state, making you roll your eyes and become more protective.

“Nothing wrong with that.” You admitted, stroking your fingers through his hair and dragged him over to sit down.

His head had rested on top of yours, his tall frame giving you a tight hug and you had choked on the air you were breathing on from how openly clingy he was acting in front of the entire class including Mr. Aizawa.

“Is there something you’re not telling us?” Midoriya had teased, the smirk on his face made you grow embarrassed.

“No.”

“Yes, we are.” Denki cut you off, his arms still around yours and the goofy smile on his face only got bigger.

“Y/N is mine. Only mine, I don’t want to see- I don’t want to see any of you near... what’s mine.” He managed to stumble out, his face turning blank like he had forgotten what he was talking about.

“Jesus,” You laughed, putting your hand over his mouth, glancing at your classmates.

You stayed quiet, dragging him away from the rest of the class and forced him to drink some water and sit down on a chair to relax until he went back to his normal state.

You will admit that he was cute and the way he openly told everyone what was his, which was you, had made your heart flutter.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Denki.”

“Am I?”

.

.

.

Midoriya:

It had taken forever for Izuku to catch onto your hints on liking him and wanting to hang out with him more. Of course he was very oblivious and didn’t catch on for weeks, even months before you got frustrated and had been straight forward with him.

The both of you being completely shy balls made everything a lot more difficult, the hints he threw at you and the hints your threw at him had completely flew over both of your heads, it was quite ridiculous.

You knew Midoriya wasn’t going to make the first move, you knew he was too big of a anxiety nut to even be bold enough to tell you to your face that he likes you in ways that was more than friends. So you did it on your own.

It hadn’t even been a week of you two officially dating until Izuku slipped it up to Todoroki when ranting about how amazing you were and how much he loved watching your quirk in action.

Once he had revealed the secret, he had told Todoroki to keep his mouth shut and not talk about it again but later that day, Izuku slipped up to another one of your classmates, Ashido.

It wasn’t long until he had slipped up to the whole entire class and now everyone knew that you two were a fresh couple. The side comments the students would make to you both and embarrass the both you, making the shyness in you two grow and cause you to stutter to no end.

“I think you two are cute!” Ashido had mentioned, trying to assure you that it wasn’t a big deal that everyone already knew.

“You knew Midoriya can’t keep a secret for long.” She commented, making you laugh and agree to what she said.

You couldn’t blame him though, he was a little too excited to be dating his crush that he couldn’t help but talk about you constantly to all his friends. He couldn’t help but stare at you and want to talk about how pretty you are and the characteristics he liked most about you.

It was in his nature, he was proud and lucky that he just had that urge to tell the whole world about you and it made butterflies explode in your stomach and it also made you want to kiss him desperately but you decided to not do that in front of everyone.

“I’m sorry, I know you didn’t want to tell anyone right away.” He mumbled towards you, the look of guilt washing over his features and you shook your head, embracing him in a tight hug.

“Don’t be sorry! I’m glad you told people.”

.

.

,

ANNND finished, I’m sorry it’s short. I usually go longer when it’s one character at a time but I hope it’s good🤧

PLSSSS send in more my hero requests!! I’m obsessed

• Main Masterlist •

• MHA Masterlist •

[shotorozu]

hellolololo!¡! so i recently saw this video where their

s/o goes on to omegle and the other person from omegle like goes “hi ur cute” or “u have snap?” and then their boyfriend just enters the frame,, can u do that to todobakudeku separately :3

if u dont understand u can check this out 😭 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJdEqc7V/ tyy ❤️❤️

“ur kinda cute” on omegle

(tiktok prank)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (bnha)

part two — part three

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, crack — ‘x reader’

note(s) : i love these types of requests 🤩 so i plan on making 3 parts with this (oh and don’t worry, i’ll finish the other tiktok prank series i have going on at the moment)

also, there’s no proofread on this so if there’s any typos or mistakes, sorry! i’ll be editing them in the morning

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

todoroki shouto

okay so, the entire tiktok idea was planned— but the part where shouto came in surely wasn’t staged

so, being a curious young person— you wanted to make a tiktok, where you went on omegle just to speak to people for fun

and inside of your head, you’re kinda thinking that “this is dumb, omg im going to get flashed on there.” also while you were setting up your laptop

but you just used the appropriate tags and !! you were set off for an adventure

you set your phone aside, and you filmed most of the experience— cutting out the not so interesting encounters out of your tiktok

and then came on a dude, who had a,, unique reaction. he didn’t seem all that fishy— until he asked you for your snap (your social medias, essentially)

“you’re kinda cute, y’know. how did i not see you before?”

you shake your head, “oh no no! i appreciate your compliment, but i’m very much taken!” your mind immediately flashing back to the image of your icyhot boyfriend

“nahh you’re lying! i don’t see any dude back there”

oh,, and that was because shouto was out getting snacks 🧎 “no really dude, i appreciate it! i’m very much taken and being disloyal is out of the question!”

this dude just kept insisting and insisting, and due to the struggle— you weren’t able to hear the door knob jiggle

it seemed to be that his advances came to an end, and your lover made an entrance— a mop of red and white peaked out from the door frame

and the dude literally got scared and ended the conversation 💀 because you really weren’t lying!

you also figured that it was time to end your omegle shenanigans, and finish the tiktok— because your boyfriend was already there “hi love, who were you talking to?”

you closed your laptop, and offered him a smile “i was on omegle for a tiktok! i’m glad you’re back.” you discard your phone, wrapping your arms around his torso (and also making sure you don’t delete the draft)

shouto doesn’t say a lot, but he immediately accepts your touch, setting the groceries aside.

he doesn’t question the fact that you were on omegle because well,, he had to get used to your shenanigans on tiktok SOMEHOW

a few hours later, you posted the tiktok— and almost immediately, the tiktok gains a lot of attention

“i love how your boyfriend drove the last dude away 💀💀” “man the last dude didn’t take the hint 🗿” “your boyfriend indirectly protected you! we need more guys like him.”

you snicker at the comments, which ultimately gathered shouto’s attention “what’s up, love?”

you show him the tiktok, “the tiktok did well.” he’ll comment calmly, but shouto’s lowkey MAD ?? that a dude had the audacity. but he’s just glad that you’re happy just maybe,, don’t go on omegle anymore 💀

“love— next time, let me in on your tiktoks.” he says, running a thumb along your cheek lightly. because he was actually quite entertained, putting everything aside

bakugou katsuki

as if bakugou katsuki would let you go on OMEGLE, a place that’s known for having the sketchiest people to ever exist— but make it virtual

but being with you made him realize that well,, if you want to do something, you’ll go through lengths just to do it.

even the great bakugou katsuki can’t really stop you. whatever makes you happy— but oh, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t highly discourage it

which lead you to go on omegle for a tiktok in the other room, while bakugou exercised in the very next room.

when you told him that you wanted to film a tiktok, bakugou only shrugged— “don’t do overly dumb shit.” was what he only told you and he left the door open too

you then set up your phone and laptop, applied the appropriate tags— and went off to make your tiktok

you only filmed the interesting encounters, and the people you met on there were very diverse in personality and just,, in general.

after the 4th encounter, then came a rather interesting dude. he didn’t seem all that ordinary but he wasn’t spectacular. he was just nice

and the conversation was rather normal— until he started asking for your socials “putting everything aside, do you have social media? you’re really cute.”

you reject immediately, “oh no, i appreciate your words but— i already have a boyfriend.”

you just have to hope that he noticed bakugou walking back and forth with equipment, but with his next words— that doesn’t seem to be the case

“i didn’t see anyone back there, a simple no would’ve been sufficient instead.” uh oh

“no really, i—” and before things escalated, katsuki’s head peaked through the door frame, freshly out of the shower “are you almost done, idiot?”

the dude literally looked behind you, and thought “oh shit, their boyfriend is bakugou fucking katsuki.” because bakugou is famous for,, multiple different reasons

the dude’s camera shakes in terror, “oh uhm,, it was nice meeting you!” not long before he dips from of the conversation, never to be seen again.

closing your laptop— you end the tiktok while bursting into laughter, and this action just confused katsuki ever further. he heard you speaking to someone, and when he looked, the person was nowhere to be seen

“what are you laughing at??”

“nothing katsuki, i was laughing at the tiktok i just made.”

then— you figured that it would be best to tell katsuki now that you were on omegle (long story short, he wasn’t pleased)

he scolded you that you shouldn’t be on omegle, but let’s be honest, he couldn’t stay mad at you— so he just cuddles the frustration away

when you upload the tiktok the following hours, it blows up pretty quickly—with comments like “LOL IS THAT BAKUGOU KATSUKI??” “he had guts until he saw bakugou katsuki 💀” “tbh i’d be scared too”

and when you report the news the katsuki, he smirks— “as he should be.”

midoriya izuku

at this point, izuku is very much used to your shenanigans on tiktok. he’s very supportive of whatever you do all in all

but, about omegle,,, yeah,, as much as he trusts you— he does not trust omegle. he’s aware that it’s a shady place, and he doesn’t advise that you do go on that website bc he cares

so when you brought up the tiktok idea, he proposed that he’d be there, right beside you just to monitor if anyone’s being weird :)

and that’s great! because you also wanted to ask if he wanted to be a reoccuring guest in your tiktok— and of course, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he opposed?

he helps you set up your laptop and phone— all of that sort of stuff, and then you guys were off to make an interesting tiktok

oh, but izuku did apply the appropriate tags because he didn’t want you to see odd things he was secretly nervous but,, you were very ethusiastic, so he was too.

the first several people were interesting in their own way— especially with their reactions to your boyfriend appearing on screen

usually, they’d back off with, and comment on how cute your boyfriend is— wishing the both of you well before calmly leaving to meet new people,

that was how it was, until you met this person in particular.

he sounded very,, egotistical— i wouldn’t say that because you’ve just met the dude, but he acted like everyone wanted him or it sounded like that

then he says, “you definitely have a phone number, right? you’re cute, just my type.” wkdksmd this is awkward since izuku’s right beside you, but he’s just outside of the frame

then, izuku pops out of the frame— in all his cute ass glory, he gives a small wave to the not so pleased stranger

“please, that’s your boyfriend?” he scoffs, “with those arms, he looks like he could be your little brother! now let me ask again—”

it’s really weird?? because have you seen izuku’s gainz?? and this dude’s audacity is extraordinary.

but little did this guy know, he’s looking at midoriya izuku— and,, you’ve seen his performance in the sports festival.

the dude takes another glance at your boyfriend, who’s sitting there right beside you— and he realizes who he was talking to

“oh shit, you’re—” and before the both of you could realize it, he nopes out of the conversation.

after that encounter, you burst into a fit of laughter— the look on izuku’s face being priceless. “you should’ve seen your reaction!”

“haha, i guess he knew who i was,” he says bashfully, cheeks warming up. because it registered in his mind that people actually knew who he was. “can you,, upload the tiktok later? i want to hug you— i mean! if that’s fine.”

of course it’s fine! you oblige, and give him all the hugs he could ever need

after cuddling with izuku, you do upload the tiktok— and an hour later, your tiktok notifications blow up

the tiktok all in all gathered 1M views, 780K likes, and over 1,500 comments— most of them saying stuff like

“your boyfriend’s reaction was so cute?? i know he looked like he was going to punch him through the screen but 👀” “last dude was just not it.” “LMAO HE REALLY TRIED IT” “is your boyfriend IZUKU MIDORIYA??”

when you excitingly showed him the tiktok’s results, he was certainly pleased— because most of the comments were positive, and also because the tiktok’s results made you happy

“i’m glad that it did well!” he’ll sigh in relief, pressing a kiss against your temple, let’s just not go on there ever again

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

cw im gonna imagine 13 in a scenario where she needs to be taken care of physically and has no ability to refuse for a sec

between missy and yaz who do you think would say "i want to put her in a bed and force her to be taken care of (by me) until shes well again" and who would say "i want to see how much longer she can run on fumes and what happens when she runs out"

because my first instinct is yaz as the first and missy as the second i think thats the obvious one. but then theres also missys hmmm.... clinginess? shes starved for affection. so much opportunity for softness in the taking care in that first scenario.

i think she’d want to be the one taken care of really but thats unacceptable so like, do a little mental substitution exercise the same way she did with clara in the dalek, and then her taking care of 13 would be so interesting because she’d be (subconsciously) imagining their places reversed but also shes still in this position so shes both consciously taking care of 13 but also i think subconsciously taking care of herself.

and then add to that the power of having the doctor completely at her mercy thats. hmm. chefs kiss. thats the ideal for her i think. or at least it’s what she thinks she wants, not necessarily what she needs, but she’d be having the time of her life.

yaz would be nice i think, she’d relish the chance to take care of the doctor i think. she’d be so nice and understanding and patient because all the while shes getting the same thrill i think out of this power as missy is. “where is it you want to be?” “in charge.”

yaz liked wearing her uniform because it marked her out as someone who belonged anywhere. ready to help, and with the right to intervene. the doctor just breezed in and made the whole universe her business, like she was born to it, and yaz longed for that confidence.

she wouldnt think to use it to hurt the doctor, or anyone, she’d enjoy the helping, but it’s still the being in charge she enjoys too i think. also the feeling of having been right possibly and the doctor having to admit to that.

missy would be vicious. while theyre both getting the same kind of thrill out of the power - or. no i dont think it’s the power purely that yaz is getting a thrill out of, i think it’s feeling like she has the capacity to help, it’s feeling useful, needed even, thats what yaz is really enjoying here i think. ready to help, and with the right to intervene.

missy obviously totally different story. shes enjoying having the doctor at her mercy completely. and i think thats interesting because she would take care of her. like she would take care of the doctor but she would not be nice, but she would like, enjoy playing the role of caretaker? yaz would enjoy that role for the substance and missy would enjoy it for the optics. yaz would be like ‘yes my time to shine’ and missy would be like ‘look at my show doctor! isnt this fun! playing doctor haha im you now’

which is fun because then yaz wanting to get in this position to be like ‘im you now’ is about the doctor substance, being able to help, and missys version of ‘im you now’ is purely performative, just surface. which is!!!! so perfect for them. mirrors mirrors

and i think missy can be kind. if we define kindness as doing something for someone else that you perceive to be for their benefit, she can definitely be kind. im thinking about what she does with yayani in lords and masters. or i think the children in her audios too. it’s never a selfless kindness, and it’s not necessarily something that other people, including the ones shes doing it to, would perceive as being for their benefit, but missy would see it that way, so at least the intention is some sort of kind. if also always selfish.

but she wouldnt be kind to the doctor in this situation. she would be really really mean i think. which is the most fun part for me because it would be like, 1) shes performing Niceness but shes not being kind, 2) she is being soft and tender because thats part of what the performance requires and also 2.5) what she wants. she wants just gentle affection from the doctor but she isnt getting it so shes giving it as a substitution, but 3) those gentle touches are with the intention of doing harm like i’ll hold you...so you cant escape, or i’ll help you drink...this poisoned tea etc, and 4) if violence is an expression of love between thoschei, which it is especially on the master’s part, then that harm shes doing is an expression of love.

so like, all the things that look like care or concern or love in this scenario are violence and all the things that are violent are expressions of love like a little matryoshka doll of performative gestures and genuine intent and violence and love.

and for the other scenario, the “i want to watch her just run herself into the ground” the enjoyment there for missy would be simple sadism i think she’d have a great time.

but for yaz it would be more of a ‘this is hard to watch but it’s necessary’ sort of thing. shes not enjoying the doctor in pain like missy is, but i think she would sort of enjoy the anticipation of the doctor admitting to needing help. if yaz can be sure that the doctor isnt gonna die before that happens, i think she would get some kind of guilty glee out of watching the doctor get worse and just waiting to be asked for help. to be trusted. condition of course that she still believes theres a point the doctor would.

[actualbird]

artems that guy whos like "youre sick!! rest! Do Not Come Back until you recover" and then when hes ill he calls in sick to work and then does all his paperwork in bed at home while he sniffles miserably until he passes out. nobody would even know if celestine didnt notice that he definitely fell asleep in the middle of signing smth LOL. celestine: did you get your sick germs on these important papers? artem: dont be ridiculous. i quarantined them for 24 hrs, theyre perfectly safe. mess of a man im obsessed with him

genuinely GENUINELY.

artem is such a smart and rational person but also i think that rationality takes a backseat sometimes when it comes to taking care of himself. my logic to this is not just because i think it's funny (tho that is a huge factor lmao) but also because like...

i have this general interpretation that artem brings his (ridiculous, meticulous, sometimes unattainable) stubborn perfectionism (which is partly his fault but also partly because of so many people holding him to a certain standard or putting him up on a pedestal) into so many aspects of his life. sickness is somehow an imperfection and the thing with perfectionists is that they try to fix imperfections in stupid ways sometimes, focusing on short term efficiency and productivity, because thats obviouuusly the most important thing here.

(wrong. artem, what the hell.)

artem strikes me as the kind of person who takes all the precautionary measures to keep his body as healthy as it possible can be. good diet, exercise, enough sleep, complete vaccination list, just the whole shebang. but the body is complicated and no matter what you do, you will end up getting sick somehow.

artem: this doesnt make sense. i did everything correctly.

body: doesnt matter, shit happens, go rest

artem: fine. but i refuse to rest. that would be irresponsible (only for me, it's never irresponsible for others, because artem wing has a double standard bug in his noggin that bites him at key moments) and i still technically have the capability to be useful so //does more work

body: am i a joke to you???

additionally, theres a vulnerability to being sick. i think artem would eventually take care of himself when he realizes that it is the only way he can move forward and be Truly Useful Again, but he would be the type to be resistant to other people helping him. it's his problem, why should he rope more people into it? (because those people, CARE, ARTEM WING! THEY CARE!!!! THEY WANT TO HELP!!!)

deep down though, i figure, it's because of like the fear of not being seen with the lens of perfection. artem doesn't want people to see him like this. he doesnt like seeing himself like this, so why would other people want to see it as well? (AGAIN. BECAUSE THEY CAREEEE!!!!!)

artem wing is a hot mess of "i need to earn everything in my life and the only way to do that is be the paragon of every quality i think is the correct payment for that thing." fascinating stuff but good god, somebody wrap that disaster man in a blanket burrito and do NOT let him out until his fever is gone.

also DGJDSKJ!! HE QUARANTINED THE PAPERS BUT BARELY RESTED HIMSELF. UR RIGHT. A MESS OF A MAN!!!

[sleeppfordays]

The Wilds S2 bad commentary Ep5 Once again I’m here to say my DMs are open you guys arent alone and I’m here even if you just want to rant and have someone listen

This was someone he admired and looked up to bad fucking call

I still feel like Agent Young is with us and he is helping the girls I aint giving up on him yet

I WAS RIGHT HE IS WITH US

IT WAS FUCKING SETH I WAS RIGHT THAT LITTLE BITCH

I’m sorry Josh’s parents paid for this research?

I say food baby :(

Shelby sharing her religion in a good way and not forcing it down someone’s throat really shows that YOU DONT HAVE TO FORCE IT DOWN PEOPLES THROATS

Not her admitting that same sex marriage is still not allowed in churches, she has grown so much

SHE GAVE HER THE CROSS NECKLACE

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF SHES ALIVE HOLY SHIT FLOOD

Is Kirin the Chef👀 did not expect that

Tired of Seth’s bullshit, now I only have Raf and Ivan and I dear god hope nothing happens

“My people” I love him

Kirin you kinda growing on me, take care of Josh please

HE DOESNT DESERVE SHIT, BRING HIS ASS TO JAIL AND TAKE THAT FREE REAL ESTATE AND MAKE HER FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF FATIN

 Was I the only one that saw the disappointment in Fatin’s eyes when it wasn’t her Leah was thinking about

He reminds me of Toni, growing up to young because of shitty parents

He just cuts all the microphones? Does he think that will redeem him?

Nora’s burial hurts, she was my fav and I’m not giving up on her yet

When Rachel said she wanted time alone with Nora I almost stopped watching cause I felt like I was intruding

Ngl I really thought Dot was Gretchen’s daughter

I want to be dead to the world too

YES PROTECTOR KIRIN (He’s growing on me, even tho I cant get past that he sounds like Dave Goodkind

“My entire body is screaming” me when I do exercise

PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF HIM KIRIN PUNCH HIM FOR US

Also that trivia for this scene “The girls found water 7 days in. The boys? 16” you can’t tell me that Gretchen didnt write that

The moment he said “When I was a young boy” I SANG IT I KNEW HE WOULD TOO

That kiss was abrupt

Holy shit I thought the boat thing would be that start of the angst but I guess I was wrong

ALSO I JUST FUCKING REALIZE SETH CUT THE MICROPHONES CAUSE HE DIDNT WANT GRETCHEN AND THE TO KNOW WHAT HE DID! IM SO FUCKING DUMB

Toni is so supportive, I love her and they really deserve each other

Detective Fatin I’m here for it

HE DID CUT THE MICROPHONES FOR THAT REASON

Raf baby please dont pick the wrong side

YES I KNOW I SHIPPED THEM I FUCKING TAKE IT BACK

I HAVE BOTH HANDS UP

NO RAF BABY WTF PLEASE

YEAH PACK YOUR FUCKING BAGS

OMG THE BACK WAS JUST SUSAN AND NOT NORA I will not give up tho, there is still hope

JUST YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THE S WORD

Get that pedophile off my screen

DETECTIVE FATIN

That concludes Ep5 I WILL BE MAKING A SEPARATE POST ABOUT THAT LITTLE ENDING OF EP5 and I will also go to sleep and watch the rest tomorrow because it is 4 in the morning and I have work

I FORGOT TO POST THIS IM VERY SORRY

[dog-teeth]

2 weeks post op top surgery update!! pics & details under the cut!

i had my 2nd post op appointment on monday, getting the stitches off of my grafts and medical tape off my incisions. other than my limited mobility and some mood stuff and scar care, im pretty much back to normal! im v happy with how my chest looks, and my doctor said i was looking more healed than average for the 2-week mark :)

physical healing:

having the stitches taken off the nipple graft was a bit uncomfy but just felt like a light tugging and only took a few minutes. having the medical tape taken off hurt a bit bc the adhesive pulled on my skin, but it was super fast and not an intense pain at all.

so i had been instructed to keep my nipples very very hydrated with aquaphor (which is why they look shiny here lol), and not to pick at them or rub them. before my appointment yesterday, the entire grafts looked how the nipple does now, all black and scabbed, but i hadn’t been able to tell that it was just dead skin scabbed over & ready to come off because i had been keeping them so hydrated that they didn’t flake off like normal scabs, i thought it was just my bruised healing skin and that the scabbing process had barely started. then, i went into my appointment, and when my doctor took out the stitches, she swabbed the area lightly, and all of the dead skin came off super easily! i was so surprised! turns out almost all of the scabbing of the areola had already happened, i just didn’t know, because it was so different from normal scabs due to the constant hydration. now all thats left is the nipple, which takes longer to heal because its a thicker part of the graft.

you can see the little indentations on my skin from the gauze pressing down under my compression wrap, which i still wear all day every day, and will continue to do for the next few weeks. there is still a light bruise on one side of my chest and a numb patch on the other, plus a bit of swelling around the incisions, especially near the center of my chest. the bruise actually looks more visible in these pics than it does irl.

current physical care:

i’ve started scar care, which is super exciting! i massage my scars twice a day with healing ointment, keeping them nice n hydrated under a thin layer (but still dry enough that they dont get weird from being wrapped up all the time). i also started using silicone scar cream, which is for healing and fading scars.

i massage the incisions for about 15 minutes per day total, for 5-10 minutes at a time. it feels nice, its pleasing to run my fingers over the incisions, it is a bit tender on the place where there is still swelling and a light bruise. i also (very lightly) rub the outside of my nipple grafts when applying the aquaphor, which is to prevent the buildup of excess scar tissue that would raise my areolas up.

i feel much more confident about my healing after having the tape taken off my incisions and the scab tissue wiped off my nipple grafts. i spent the entire past 2 weeks worrying about my nipples falling off, and now i know that won’t happen lmao. im very excited about scar care, being able to massage the incisions and confidently touch my nipples is great. i’m looking forward to my nipples scab tissue flaking off, and for the dissolvable sutures under my incisions to dissolve completely, because i can feel them under my scars which is weird!

concerns going forward:

-spitting sutures, which is when a dissolvable suture gets agitated or rejected by your body and has to be removed, but it’s an easy fix if it does happen, i just have to go into my surgeons office and have them take it out.

-scar care! keeping my nipples hydrated, massaging my scars and the rims of my grafts, keeping everything wrapped under my ace bandage compression with gauze pads over the nipples.

-limited mobility and not carrying stuff- now that i’m pretty healed its hard to make myself not do normal things like reach my arms out, stretch, and lift things up, but i really shouldnt do it even if it doesn’t hurt.

-compression, i still wear my ace bandage wrap and will for at least 2 more weeks, which sucks, i can’t wait to be done with it! but im also glad it’s there because it makes my chest feel protected, i’m still very very cautious and weird about my giant wounds and still-healing nipples.

mood:

overall, i’m very happy with how it looks and how it’s healing. im very relieved to be past these first few weeks when everything is at its most difficult. i’ve been really really stressed out about it this whole time, worrying about my nipple grafts failing or not healing right, having full on anxiety attacks when i accidentally stretch my arms out too far or put too much weight on them, and being terribly afraid that my chest won’t look good aesthetically.

i’ve also been depressed lately, idk if it’s post-surgery depression or my normal depression or my seasonal depression. i was in very good spirits the first week, but i’ve been having low moods and low energy more recently :( i think once i’m able to drive and exercise again i’ll be much happier, but for now being trapped inside all day in my room has been rough.

recovery has been physically grueling and mentally very weird, because i literally did not believe it would actually happen until it had actually happened (seriously i was at the hospital getting prepped to be taken into the OR and i still didn’t think it would happen), and i didn’t believe it would be okay until my 2nd post op on monday when i saw how healed my grafts and incisions were. so really, i’m just now getting to experience the relief that i finally got surgery!!!! the more healed i get the more i enjoy it, which i’m sure will continue for the next months and probably years.

[thithesandofferings]

Gym...Date Raian x Reader

TW: 18+ MINORS DO NOT ENTER

Semi-public sex, Rough- (but is anyone surprised-) Scent kink, spit kink - hes just nasty and we love him for it. 

It wasnt often when you would accompany Raian to workout, but today you felt a spark that you needed to. You did skip a few workout days yourself and its been awhile since you felt that satisfying soreness post workout. You and Raian both had a love for working out and thusly transformed your own gym in one of the downstairs rooms. Throwing your phone on the bed you quickly changed into some short and a sports bra and went down to meet him. When you got there Raian was already starting his routine so you decided to start on your warm ups seeing how he didnt wait for you. Simple stretches is what you decided to begin with before some cardio. 

Your eyes glanced to where Raian was, he looked so focus while he worked out. It was a side to him you hardly saw and it was actually quite refreshing. He seemed so in tuned with every raise of the dumbbell, releasing air whenever it went back down. He truly loved the sport he did, regardless of how dangerous it was. Well he might be more dangerous than the sport itself. You found yourself giggling to yourself, which caught his attention. His eyes met with yours, he smirked, knowing well you were staring at him for some time, causing you to almost choke on your own spit. 

You quickly turned and continued on with your stretches. Slowly raising your hands above your head you stretch and then just as slowly bend over to touch your toes. You repeated that process until you heard a heavy object fall to the ground. You paused mid stretch to look back and saw Raian picking up the dumb bell he apparently let dropped. You stare at him confused. 

"H-how did you manage to-" 

"Shit happens OK!" 

".....ok..." After dragging your eyes from him for at least a minute you finally get into your routine. This one was by far one of the hardest ones you could have picked. It literally worked out your arm, legs, back, glutes and thighs. You finally had a 2 minute break and you so happen to meet eyes with Raians again. He looked done with his routine so he was just sitting on the bench motioning for you to come over by him. "..huh?...but im not don-" 

He raised an eyebrow .

"...Raian please...im almost done-" 

"Y/N if I ask a third time you'll regret it" 

With that you instantly go to his side. You go to sit next to him but he grabs your waist pulling you into his lap. 

"Noooo im sweatyy" 

"So" 

"So?? I dont wanna-" your words got caught off, feeling something wet along your back. 

 "Just as i thought...you taste delicious" he said dragging another wipe across your arm now. He pinned you tightly against his lap and pulled you back even further. He then made his way to the crook of your neck, he kissed up your nape to the bottom of your ear. Slowly licking and nipping, licking and nipping at your wet skin

 "R-raian...please...atleast let me...shower first" 

His grip tightened as he growled into your ear. 

"You see...ive been watching you all that time...ive been finished with my workout from long old time and i couldnt help but observe my little kitten busy with hers." He breathed in your ear. His breath was hot...hot and dripping in want and need. His voice also seemed to crack a bit which was a sign he was really...really ready to break...or well to break you.

 "But...i...F-FUCK.." He slipped a hand between your leg. At this point you wasnt sure if it was sweat or arousal but your will to care was slowly leaving you. His thumb began running circles up and down your clothed folds, increasingly picking up speed as he continued. 

 "I bet this tastes even better huh?...you dont know how bad i wanted to bend you over this bench whiles you did your stretches...made it hard for me to concentrate on my own fucking exercise." 

He bit down on your shoulder and then licked around it. "- but you knew what you was doing...right kitty? Thats why you wanted to come work out with me here" 

"N-n...no..i..i didnt"

 "Dont lie to me kitty...what other reason did you have then?" He made use of his other hand, grabbing both breasts at once and squeezing. He always knew the exact location of your nipple and wasted no time in kneading them.

 ".....i..i..just-HHHHNNNGG_i..." 

"Speak up kitty...i cant understand a word you're saying" he smirked behind you. At this point his erection was more than visible and even more so notable as you sat on him. The heat alone coming from off of it was enough to make you whimper and try to ground down on him for some type of friction. ANYTHING! 

He stilled his hand from between your legs and grabbed your head back by your hair. Skillfully wrapping them twice around his hand in once quick fluid motion of his wrist. 

"Now now kitty, are you that fucking desperate for my cock? Tryna grind down this naughty ass on me like that...no no kitty...you gotta earn it first." You could only whimper and whine as his grip tightened in your hair. 

You struggle to even swallow the spit accumulating in your mouth, yet right now only one thing was on your mind. "What color kitty?" 

"..g-green..." 

"Good girl" he smiled before crashing his lips into yours. It took little to no time for you to allow him into your mouth. His tongue quickly taking over your senses as he literally kissed you breathless. His hand flew down into your shorts and swiped up your folds before parting them, causing you to break the kiss. He took advantage of this moment by quickly removing his fingers and placed two of his large digits into your gapping mouth. "Suck it clean kitty...and then i'll clean up the rest downstairs" 

The moan you let out around his fingers was by far the most shameful thing you ever heard but then again you didnt care much. You notice the way his eyes closed as soon as he felt your tongue wrap around his fingers. The wet lapping motion you did with his tongue was enough to drag out a throaty moan from him which even caused him twitch. 

"FUCK...you're so good with that tongue kitty...so..so fucking good" he pulled and pushed his fingers in your mouth, basically face fucking you with his hands. At the last pull you sucked on his fingers and did a small bite as he popped out of your mouth. When he opened his eyes all you saw staring back at you was dark black irises. Oh shit. Without a word he lifted you up and threw you over his shoulder and started off towards the stairs. 

"You caused this on your self kitty" he said smacking your already sore ass. 

"I just wanted to work out...its been so long since i was sore from a workout"

 "If you wanted to be sore from a workout....you only needed to ask...i'll make sure you're fucking sore alright. Really fucking sore"

-Krissy

[hopeididntscareyou]

sometimes people don't necessarily mean to offend us, they just don't understand us and that is normal.. i didn't say its okay or not okay but again, it is normal. people dont realize this, but its actually easier to just assume people won't get you, than expecting otherwise, only for you to get hurt when they don't meet your expectations. when someone is 'insensitive' it doesn't always mean they meant to harm you, especially if its people who cares about you. i had this problem with Taylor and it hasnt been always comforting whenever he said I'm just being too hard on myself when i talk about my gaming addiction. i don't feel like he really understand my struggles and i feel guilty to say that i was disappointed, because as en empathetic guy i kinda expected he would have understood me. but he loves his games and he definitely has a good relationship with it. he doesn't spend his life binging on games and neglecting himself and his relationships (unlike me).. i feel that people just project their own issues on us but in reality we all have our own capacities and thresholds. just because you can manage mutual problems without any difficulties it doesn't mean i would have the same experience. so back to the first point, its easier to just accept that people aren't going to understand you because we are all different, unique individuals and its not possible for them understand someone when they don't even understand themselves. you probably also don't even understand them. its normal. also, if you just keep on complaining about it without communicating that you just want their support then you obviously have bigger issues that needs your attention.

another thing is, i don't really believe in BPD or clinical depression, sorry. imo, that's just psychiatry and psychology gaslighting you into taking their 'pills'. there is no such thing as mood disorders. you're upset for a reason and no I'm not saying you should blame external factors for your misery (even though i guess its been always easier for most people to complain than to fix shit). I'm just saying psychiatry and mainstream psychology are both trash.. and i will explain this later but right now i have a migraine and im already exhausting the only two braincells that i have left, so i'm done with all these thinking and consuming mental energy.

for some strange reason though, as a sleepless person i do have a lot of energy for working out. i ran today and now im gonna do more exercises. i really dont know where im getting all these energy from. i also haven't eaten or drunk anything for 24 hours now which isn't intentional. i was just busy all day trying to arrange my trip and honestly i'm not exactly sure if i should be happy or worried about the state of my bodily functions. its not like i'm purposely neglecting myself. it just happens. today has been really stressful for me.