#<- he really truly is. in every sense

[peitalo]

hummingbird! 🔶

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.

steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.

eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.

so steve is all over eddie, it seems.

at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.

so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.

robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?

eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.

it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?

- robin and steve

“Steve.”

“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“

“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…

Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.

“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”

To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”

“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.

“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”

“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“

“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”

To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.

“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.

“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”

“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“

“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.

“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”

She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.

He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.

After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.

“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”

He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.

“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“

“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.

“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“

“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”

Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.

“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”

“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”

“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”

- later. steve’s house. to be continued?

[mewtwo24]

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

[writhe]

[vexillologyisenjoyable]

Does my analysis seem correct to y’all? Their arms were confusing me so I tried to color code them but now I’m even more confused

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Underrated moment of joy in this season: The bleating ravens.

I swear my heart grew three sizes in that moment. Cuz I knew, I KNEW, that there was obviously no way Crowley was ever going to hurt a kid. I wasn’t sure how he was going to get out of it but I was positive he’d figure something out.

But the thing is (and I’m almost ashamed to say it) I completely bought the destruction of the goats. I didn’t love it, but I figured it fell into the same ~morally gray~ category Crowley so often does.

But turns out that demon is too kind-hearted to even harm a herd of goats! And that fact makes me MELT! Crowley is so soft and good on the inside, and he has such a strong sense of right and wrong, it kills me.

I want to wrap him in a blanket and give him a little kiss on the forehead. It’s what he deserves!

[presumenothing]

watching the last 10 eps of mlc with the novel still rattling around in your head is truly just an extended experience in alternating between *chinhands* and (overwhelmingly) *head in hands*

[south-sea]

Gimme Aruna's love language. You can't just say "And if you really want to make my day ask about Aruna" in the tags of your nov 18th post and leave me hanging.

i had to go digging for it but anon is referring to an old ask game post

that tag was more of a general anything-goes for aruna asks but rolling up sleeves alright let's tackle arguably one of the most difficult (delighted)

it's tricky because as a mobian, this guy is ~15+ years out of context, and 13 of those years were spent under circumstances that left him empty and just trying to survive (again, but worse). even in a kinder setting now with a new community and support system, he doesn't really act out of love so much as habitual responsibility.

he cares for the settlement he's taken up residence in and the people in it, and certainly some of that care is more personal on an individual level than others, but he doesn't view it as "love". he does those things because that's just what you're supposed to do? it's the same as how he'd act in his capacity as black doom way back when with his hive, just with slightly more emotional distance. a lot of what he does is ultimately still self-serving.

he helps build up this settlement and the people in it not because he wants to see it specifically succeed, or see them thrive, but because he lives there. but he's also not doing it just because he lives there and wants a safe place to live/for the people to feel compelled to treat him well. and while that's definitely how it started--he had to learn new etiquette rules and such to fit in and be more generally likeable enough for them to accept him--he still lacks a certain emotional investment in them.

like, yeah, it's love in the most basic sense, but it's hard to articulate why it's also not? they're his people now, in a sense, and he knows he belongs there, and recognizes when they show him love, but for his part he's just operating normally. he can't just be a freeloader or treat them like he's their leader instead. that's not how things work here. and besides, he'd go crazy without anything to do anyway. so like i said; most of what he does is still self-serving at its core. he just balances that and acts in such a way that it benefits more than just himself.

he lacks empathy and is selfish, but not in a way that damages others--and ensuring he keeps that balance is deliberate for the sake of staying in people's good graces. it is the literal definition of manipulative, but he's not doing it out of malice (anymore). he just wants to raise his chance of survival. he has nothing to live for but himself and the memory of his people.

in the present, if you shove all of that aside, and squint really hard past his barrier of invulnerability and neutrality, he shows it to specific individuals the most in what he lets them get away with. he hates being touched. is not very gentle or soft or kind in how he speaks. but he can be patient, and affords people close to him (especially children) some of his learned softness. he lets these chosen people hold his hand (even if he doesn't understand why) or hug him for their own sake (even if he's not particularly keen on the idea) or talks them down from anxiety or an upset (even if he is so, so bad at empathy and lacks the type of experiences that would help him navigate delicate situations).

back when he was still just regular black doom with a hive is different, though. i should preface this with the fact i write the black arms, especially in the context of aruna's hive, very differently from canon; they were all individuals with their own culture, and the hivemind was more of a shared telepathy ability rather than ant-like.

he was not overly-affectionate or outwardly sentimental, but he loved them all dearly in his own way, and it showed in subtleties. he was their leader, yes but they were everything to him. he would forego meals if it meant feeding a youngling instead. wore rings of the fallen and cycled them out with the most recently-lost to honor their memory. allowed younglings to get a bit clingy even though he hated being touched even back then. helped raise a lot of them, mourned the loss of the adults with the culture-appropriate equivalent of funeral, never forgot a single one of them, kept their stories alive until he no longer could.

all he has left are scraps and a monument the present-day settlement helped build. but he respects the settlement and acknowledges himself as one of theirs enough to integrate some of their funeral rites with his own due to being unable to put what remains of his kind to rest in the way he normally would.

[ungroomedcat]

Whenever people called me 'young lady' at work it used to always feel so demeaning. Say, for example, in my first job fresh out of college I was put in charge of a large project that I had to present at the end of the year to a bunch of white old men. I received plenty of compliments. But not without the blood boiling, "-for such a young lady" appended at the end.

"She did an amazing job for such a young lady."

"Great job young lady."

Young lady this. Young lady that. Hated that shit. It's died down some now after nearly a decade of it. And today, for the first time, I didn't take offense. Maybe it's because I've become more comfortable and confident in my own skin, not feeling like I have something to prove all the time.

It's interesting how much your perspective changes as you age. I was referred to as "that youngster" today ("what's that youngster saying over there?") and while I'm certain I would have seethed inside not even five years ago, today I found it humorous. Humbling even. Because this was said by a 60+ yo man, and in his eyes, I really am just a young little buck. And that's fine. I am just a young little buck. Even at 30. Especially at 22 when I thought being called a young lady was the most degrading thing in the world.

[talentforlying]

thinking today about constantine and the various personas / disguises he wears as a con man!!

when he wants to make people underestimate his intelligence (and/or get under some rich snobs' skins) he has a tendency to thicken his accent, play hard & heavy with aphorisms, and adopt an overly-cheerful, affectedly blasé attitude. (a great example being his introductory "morning squire! nice day for an orgy, eh, wot?" when he got himself invited to that high society fuckfest to scam england's upper crust with some bullshit magic.) he'll get much more touchy-feely, gets up in people's spaces more than is socially appropriate, and really plays the fool, so when he turns around and reveals the trick, he gets to enjoy all the gobsmacked reactions.

when he wants to fit in with high society or get something out of someone by making them feel important / respected / bonded to him in some way, the scouse doesn't disappear; his voice just gets lower, slower, and has smoother, crisper enunciation. maybe a touch of RP if he's really laying it on thick. this version of constantine has got tailored suits and cufflinks, avoids touching and being touched like the plague, mirrors behaviors to make connections, makes eye contact like he's playing chicken with everyone he looks at, and offers hook-ups to all the vices known to man, as well as the ones known by those well beyond humanity. he makes a point of establishing himself as a useful and reliable contact for anything and everything, so that if he ever needs an angle on someone or a little extra cash, he knows exactly where to get a little lucrative material.

the common thread between the two is that he makes himself memorable, be it in a positive or a negative way. he makes sure people not only see him, but take note of him; that they leave with a memory, so if their paths ever cross again or they ever need his particular skillset, there's a chance to turn a profit later on.

[pepprs]

[roobylavender]

this isnt really an ask but im surprised tim is your favourite omg maybe its in my head but i feel you talk about dick and jason a lot more

oh it’s definitely not in your head lmaooo 😭 i talk about tim less bc i think up until the point i read his canon i was pretty much satisfied with it. obv i have issues with chuck dixon’s textual conservatism and bigotry but i don’t have issues with how tim generally existed as a character at least through the very early 00s, which is conveniently where i stopped following bat canon at large. dick and jason on the other hand present so many problems for me in terms of ill maintained characterization with respect to what i’ve read so they’re way more on my mind jdbdjdkd

[emile-hides]

Another Holiday Season another year of trying to sell you internet randos on my Polar Express Overwatch AU

Hana as Main Character Kid

Lucio as Main Girl Character Kid

Brigitte as Billy

Lena as Fourth Main Character Kid I am making up

Jamison as Annoying Know It All Kid

John “Jack” Francis Morrison as Train Conductor

Gabriel “Reaper” Reyes as Train Ghost

Reinhardt and Torbjorn as Train Engineers

Ana as Santa Clause

That’s it that’s the pitch.

[pinkpuffballdude]

me, writing poetry: I will now pepper in the fact that I'm a linguist*

[nicepersondisorder]

my cat looks wrong in a "that is Not my cat" way. um.