#the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form

[sky-kiss]

Raphael & Jaheira: You All Meet at an Inn

A/N: I had to get an intro out of the way before proper sassing down the line. And apologies, I'm out of practice with writing.

R & J: Let's be honest, his taste in wine is so much better than hers

Like many of his kind, the devil was a series of contradictions. 

Handsome but not striking. Languid, but only on a cursory inspection. A more pointed observation would showcase the taut muscles in his shoulders and thighs, hinting that the lazy rolling motion of his wrist was intentional rather than instinctual. And, perhaps most importantly, despite the ostentatiousness of his garb, rich blues, reds, and golds, which demanded attention and respect, few of the Last Light’s patrons truly saw him. 

Jaheira did not fault them for the oversight. The High Harper noted it with a world-weary amalgamation of affection and exhaustion. Few prey animals noticed the hunter until it was upon them. Man and beast were not such disparate creatures. 

She shifted, rolling her shoulders to alleviate some residual tension—the aches that never seemed to properly fade these days, which had faded until only a decade prior. She should turn him out. And aye, much like the aches, even a decade ago, she might have done something about his presence—but where was the harm? He stuck to his corner and played his games. 

In the darker stretches of the night, his attention shifted away from the lance-board and his books towards the door. The devil waited. 

Jaheira waited, too.  

The devil lifted his head, eyes flicking from the Mystra piece to the Harper. He made a show of it, eyes widening, lips turning up in a smile—noticing her, seemingly for the first time. She snorted, arching a brow. He shrugged, expression relaxing into something more neutral and more genuine, motioning to the seat across from him. 

“You know, I rather wondered which of us would bring our little dance to its close,” he began, voice warm and rich. His lips twitched, expression colored with so many masterful little notes—presumed intimacy, natural familiarity…they might have been old friends meeting for drinks in any alehouse. Easiness and charm…the domain of all his kind. His eyes glittered in the firelight. 

The half-elf sunk into the chair, holding her arms out wide. “Shall we continue circling each other like coquettish maids?” Jaheira waved him off. “Who has time for it?”

“Certainly not you, High Harper. All this,” he motioned around them, attention flicking to the window and the shadows just beyond. “Resting on your shoulders…such a weighty calling.” 

“You offer to take it from me?” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it. You are so…uniquely equipped for these travails.” 

Jaheira snorted. “Let us call it experience—hard won over many years of life.” She tipped her head to the side, regarding him closely. Without a room of distance between them, she could appreciate the more minor details of this mortal form: wrinkles near the corners of his eyes, hints of sunspots across the back of his hands, and streaks of gray brightening otherwise dark hair. He felt fully manifest in a way so many of his ilk failed to recognize—the little things grounded an illusion in reality. “Come, tell me what to call you. In my head, it is ‘devil this, devil that’...tedious.” 

His eyes widened. “You shall have to forgive this lapse in manners—it’s the setting, you see. One really isn’t at their best.” He mimed a bow, someone still regal despite the confines of the chair. “I am Raphael—very much at your service.” 

“A pleasant name! Well-suited to this pleasant face.”  

Raphael hummed. With a snap of his fingers, the lance-board disappeared. In its place, a bottle of brandy. She did not recognize the label’s language. “A devil in your house, and yet…we are rather blase.” 

“Do not take it personally.” She ghosted her fingers across the table. “Gods of death, demon princes…after these things—” his muscles drew taut, eyes narrowing as she spoke. “ —your feathers are very pretty, but… you make for a much smaller bird.” 

To his credit, Raphael laughed. He poured them each a glass of wine. As if in concession, he took the first sip—no poison. Jaheira bowed her head and followed suit. The wine’s bouquet blossomed across her tongue—rich and deep, a hint of cherry and leather giving way to softer, more subtle notes. It reminded her of Calimshan—pleasant evenings before the true weight of adventuring settled on her shoulder…when she’d been young, Khalid at her side. 

The knowing glint in his eye said he’d anticipated such a reaction. A smaller bird, perhaps, but cunning. I have survived so many years, his gaze said, and I have thrived for good reason. 

“To walk so freely on the Prime is no small thing. And you do not seem the sort to bind yourself to the whims of mortals…” she tapped her chin. “A cambion, then.” 

“Are we to trade parlor tricks, my dear? Shall I ask if your house qualified you as a ‘princess’ or a ‘lady’ in Tethyr?” 

“A lady, though my youngest will argue that point till she is blue in the face.” Jaheira held up her glass in salute. “Do not take offense—it was a compliment, one mongrel to another.” 

Raphael chuckled. “One mongrel to another.” The cambion sighed, relaxing back into his seat. He stroked his chin, fingers teasing across the whisper of stubble—not quite a day’s growth, perhaps a matter of hours. A testament to his dedication and vanity—over the past week, he’d never moved from his seat by the window. “Shall we be honest with each other, ladyship?” 

“It depends. Will honestly not make your skin itch?” 

“You wound me. I am a paragon of virtue to friends and clients both. And the honest truth is I am awaiting a favorite distraction of mine.” He sipped his wine again. “I dare say they might even solve the lion’s share of your problems. Interested?” 

She hummed. Jaheira settled more comfortably in her chair. “Sing me your song, lovely bird. Perhaps…we may yet benefit one another.”

[theotherdeerinhell]

The Doe in the Alleyway

I'm making a fanfiction about Rabo, because of course I am. Anyways, here's the first chapter in full. It's at 1.5k words, but since the last paragraph leads to a small timeskip, it's just a good place to end the first chapter. Get hyped up for this fun little thing!

Chapters will be posted to Tumblr as made. It will be posted to Wattpad, AO3, and Toyhouse on a weekly basis once it's complete.

Warning: The chapter consists of misgendering, a female getting a top torn off, mutilation, stabbing, and mentions of blood.

There is a reason why Fiona is a deer, and it's not because she licked salt or grazed on grass. No, it's because she ended up in Hell through the same situation she is finding her way in right now. Her hooves hit the floor with every swift stride, and her breaths prove to be challenges on their own. Fiona has been running for so long, she feels like she could collapse at any moment. But no. She will not let her pursuers get to her. Not this time. She knows that letting them win would be a death sentence.

Fiona stumbles when she finds a wall in her path. Its eyes glare back at her. Fiona takes a couple steps back. She turns around to keep running, but the demons are already blocking the only way out. Their sickly and perverted grins reveal the golden tooth they all share. It is a reminder that they are all there because their master did not acquire what he so desperately wanted. Fiona crosses her arms to cover her big breasts pushing against the fabric of her black goth dress. She clasps her shoulders with her hands and slouches. Just the way they stare down her curves makes Fiona uncomfortable in her skin in a deep way.

"It looks like the little doe finally met her dead end." A vulture-like demon stalks up to her. A ginger cat and a sinner with a mosquito-like nose follow behind him. They take their time in their approach. They know there is nothing Fiona can do about them. These goons may be weaklings themselves, but she is even weaker. Any power she has is just late in manifestation. Fiona backs herself up against the wall as they draw closer. Fiona bares her vampire fangs and growls.

"You could've had this be easy, toots. All you had to do was let Valentino have his way." The vulture grabs Fiona with his friends. They all hold her still. Fiona squirms and cries out with all her might. The goons don't even stop her. They know that nobody will come save her. This is Hell, after all. People only mind their own business. Anyone who meddles are usually dead within a matter of days. It's cruel, but that is the status quo. The cat takes a hammer out of her pocket and kneels down.

"Such pretty hooves," She purrs, "Polished black and shimmering in the streetlight. Perhaps I'll take a shard as a souvenir." The feline grabs a hoof and holds it down. She raises her hammer and strikes it with all her might. The hoof shatters into pieces. It brings about a pain that is more intense than anything Fiona has ever felt. She cries out while her other hoof meets the same shattered fate. The goons drop Fiona.

Standing is much too painful. It shoots a sense of agony up her legs and to her brain. Fiona collapses. Her black eyeliner runs from the tears. This is it. She can't escape. She is about to die again. It can't end this way, not this soon. But that is not Fiona's choice to make. It never is.

"How about we see what's hiding underneath that pretty dress?" The vulture snickers. He grabs Fiona's dress and pulls it right off, exposing everything that creeps like these three would want to see. Fiona can feel their eyes staring at her harder. She tries to cover herself, but the vulture grabs her wrists tightly. "There is no point in you trying to protect yourself now~ You have no hope. No friends, no feet...just us, and my friend's blessed knife." Fiona looks behind the vulture to see what he's talking about. Indeed, the mosquito is holding a knife that shines white. Fiona cries out again. Her desperation grows stronger, but there is nothing she can do as the knife pierces her flesh. Red blood spills out as soon as the knife is pulled out.

Fiona screams again when the knife makes another puncture. The torture is endless, even if it's just for a minute. All of her vital organs are missed, but Fiona can tell that that is the point. Nobody in this group want to give her a quick death. Perhaps such a thing wouldn't be entertaining enough for them. The pain stops coming after some point. The goons drop her and snicker at the state they have put Fiona in.

"The bitch's already dead," The vulture tells his comrades, "Let's get going and tell the boss. She got exactly what she deserved." The other two nod their heads and leave the alleyway.

Fiona sits alone in the dark. She has no choice but to feel the agony and let exhaustion wash over her. Would she even be able to heal from angelic steel-induced wounds if she survived by some miracle? Staying awake is becoming increasingly difficult, but a sound makes her ears perk up. Three screams that sound so much like her killers. Fiona loos up. A shadow tendril waves half of a body in the air. Green electricity crackles through the thick wriggling shape of darkness. Could it be...?

Fiona slumps down. What is the point in guessing? She'll be dead by the time her savior finds her. She may as well give in now. Yet, that small sparkle of hope keeps her awake. So when the handsome buck clad in vintage red comes walking in, Fiona is in awe at the sight. For not only is the demon the same species as her, but he is the very manifestation of her dream self. He brushes some dust off his tattered coat, and the yellow sharp-toothed grin plastered on his face grows.

"I must apologize for being late, my dear." His voice oozes with charisma as he speaks, it's almost familiar to Fiona's dying ears, "But I was in the middle of lunch. Though, those lackeys did make for a fine dinner."

The male kneels down to take a closer look at Fiona. He tilts his head when he finds that the demons didn't even give her the decency of a full outfit. And the state of her hooves - her feet are practically stumps with how damaged they are. This doe is a beautiful one, he can tell. Perhaps if she wasn't so young, she'd be the one he's interested in. Letting her die would be a waste. So he snaps his fingers and lets a blanket appear around her. The demon wraps it around the fragile body gingerly in an effort to return some sense of dignity to her.

Fiona opens her eyes when she feels a blanket tightly wrapped around her and a pair of arms lifting hr up. She takes a good look at the one who is taking her to somewhere unknown. It's still that handsome buck. But is he here to save her? Even with her own uncertainty, Fiona has no choice but to find out. 

The male approaches the staircase of the recently rebuilt Hazbin Hotel. It is grander than it ever was, and the building is no longer on the brink of collapse. There are still not many residents looking for redemption. Most of the sinners the man walks past in the lobby were either already there, or they are people who came in seeking sanctuary. While being a refuge was not the owner's intention with the hotel, it is a consequence of it being neutral ground. Nobody has to worry about regular squabbles during their stay, so the injured and the weak live there. The only condition upheld is that they do have to go through the rehabilitation program. And as prideful as all sinners can be, most of them would rather be redeemed than dead. He comes up to the front desk, where Charlie herself is sorting through the room keys. She looks up to the sight of her "friend."

"Oh! Alastor!" Charlie pipes up, "I see you're back from your errands." She looks down at the female deer in his arms. The poor thing is leaving blood everywhere, and she's barely clinging on to life. "A-and I see that your friend there needs medical intervention."

"Don't you worry." Static crackles and pops when Alastor speaks, "From the way she is fighting death, I can tell this one is strong. Her damage is nothing I can't mend, but if you don't mind, the time window I have to ensure her survival is increasingly short. I will require the emergency kit at the back there." 

Charlie hurriedly turns and gathers the kit, "Right! Right! This is no time to chat. That person is dying." Charlie turns back around and hands the kit to Alastor.

"Thank you dearly." With that, Alastor navigates his way to the elevators. Charlie is absolutely grinning behind his back. Could this be it? Is the hotel finally making Alastor crack? No, it can't be. He has plans for that poor demon. Favors like what he's currently doing always have strings attached to them. But what would those strings be? A soul contract? A favor in return for what he has done? Charlie will find out soon, though she is not looking forward to what horror awaits that innocent soul.

[theoccultz]

#Lets talk about dreams -1

Pluto 12th house and dream significance

**********************************************

**********************************************

I'mma talk abt my recent dream :

I had a dream , someone was trapped in a "box" which looked liked an house , the home was like a dollhouse really colourful blocks everywhere ,but the person inside it was trapped by the people who was securing the home , the person was so scared the figure who was intimidating them was a authoritive figure toxic (masculine in energy)..... outside it was raining heavily the last time i saw the person running upstairs they discovered a new room looking outside the window towards the other building there was a venegeful demonic spirit who was controlling the dynamic of the home .

(I'm not saying all my dreams hold significance ,no . I realise some of the things i see are just that went on throughout the day and the stress that was building in my subconscious mind ....But this is not that dream out of exhaustion i dont think so that spirit decided to just show itself to the little boy for no reason )

The conclusion i can derive from this:

1) that intimidating authoritive figure is being controlled by the evil spirits without them knowing ,most likely its in full control and the person who's the little boy in the close approximity from "that" person has picked up on weird energies because they are sensitive.

3) there seems to be fears existing within the person , water is emotions and overflowing water is being overwhelmed , juggling things ,not getting rest ,not feeling fulfilled , feeling trapped & controlled ,build up anger & anxiety , not feeling your best , ignoring your intuition , unconscious decision ,etc .

3) toxic household possibly? Not understanding each other , effective words , unbalanced energy , fearful energies ,hidden agendas , others taking advantage , not appreciating the good things , imbalance of power ,harmful connections , toxic behaviours , losing hope , feeling negative

2)the spirit is likely residing on the land for years but it doesn't come forward because its being put out by the divine forces that could be from anyone, your ancestors,your demon guides ,your patron guides ,your spirit animal and is likely getting rid of that spirit so that spirit is showing up to intimidate you more so your guides get distracted

3) there could be fights , feeling nauseous, constant head pain ,weird experiences with people , feeling sick , feel the need to buy more things ,less energy , something with travel , arguments , bad days going on , the safety bracelet you wear or the necklace or any protection spell could have broken off or could have been lost or you must be feeling to make one , sleeping problems ,not having constant routine, i can list more things with specific details like zodiac,recent things that happened ,names ,initials and so on but the purpose of this post is simple you should have more fainth ik its annoying to hear this but yeah .

👉Im not saying there is literally an evil spirit no , dream reading is very easy you pick up different messages most likely the things that could happen to you in the future wont effect you that much as you're thinking it would

To be noted: I have even seen mu!rders ,de@ths ,and many weird things its not literally what you're shown its the opposite

>People dying in your dreams is just them leaving for good from your life,their bad intentions will be exposed as soon as they leave so it won't be that painful to let go + their karmic cycles will begin its like learn until you learn .

For eg-Murders is backstabbing, these people are likely not good for you which needs to get rid of that you will do ,no matter how hard is it you need to put your strength to test if you succeed then your rewards are way bigger than you would be able to manifest

>Not likely in all dreams faces are shown ,there could be just numbers , or energies speaking to you so it gets confusing.

Sorry if you were expecting teeth falling and weird wonders ,i dont think so its that common , i'll be adding more post about different kind of dreams so you can identify messages and read for yourself and make the most out of it

Being scared is also normal , seeing ramdom people is also normal no need to panick a,dreams are dreams at the end .

[noturprobiem]

I am convinced that people will hate me if I post anything but a part of my writing project so here it is

These are two parts from my future hualian fic from the first chapter. It has spooky elements, beware.

Six years ago Xie Lian swore to never step foot in this cursed building, and yet here he was. The place hasn't changed a bit since he left. Pale blue walls, white tile floors and heavy doors made out of metal were more familiar to him than his own house. He used to come here at six in the morning and leave at the dead of night, reporting every flickering light on his way to the exit. Flickering lights were a bad sign in a place like this. Everything was a bad sign in a place like this.

The corridors were always coated in eerie silence. No natural light could get inside, so it was impossible to know what time of day it was. There used to be a clock on the wall, but it didn't last. It wasn't a good idea to have fragile objects out in the open, especially near Xie Lian. The doors weren't labeled, but there were small differences between them. Some had dents, some were scratched, some melted in places. Since Xie Lian left, the door to his office got changed, and now it looked almost too good compared to the other ones.

He hesitated in front of the door. Then sighed and pressed his id card to the scanner. It opened without a sound.

[...]

Xie Lian flipped through the files while they were talking, only taking note of the name given to the entity. He didn't like reading what other people saw before going into an encounter. Sometimes researchers overlooked important evidence because they focused only on details that were mentioned in the reports they read. From his experience, everyone would meet an entity differently, and you should first see what's your relationship with it before judging the danger levels. So, he immediately planned an expedition to the place of the latest reported blood rain.

Spending the night on a train wasn't anything new for him. No matter how long they've studied the entities’ ability to bend space and time they never came even close to replicating them, so trains it was. Some especially risky ones, like Shen Yuan's big brother, would attract the entity's attention for this, but then no one could guarantee that you'll ever arrive anywhere.

It was pitch black outside. Sometimes you could see pale lights through the dirty glass and every time it made Xie Lian's heart jump in his chest. Sometimes it looked just like…

Xie Lian was seventeen when an entity known as The Stalker found him. He was always considered a promising student, teachers painted for him a career in physics or chemistry, a bright future in academia. Instead, he first got into a university building as a lab mouse. All because something put its eye on him.

It was easy to ignore at first. A flash of light here and there. A sound from a room where no one was supposed to be. A laugh somewhere in the dark. Catching movement with the corner of your eye only to see that it's just an illusion. Trivial things, and stress only made them happen more. And then he started waking up in the dead of night, convinced that something was watching him. Something was breathing lightly in the corner. Something moved. It was a silly thing to be afraid of for a nearly eighteen year old, of course, so he didn't bring it up. Even when that fear manifested in the form of sleep paralysis, a pale white mask looking at him from the ceiling in the dark and silent room, its texture a mix of human skin and silicon, its eyes bottomless pits of ink, it was just because of stress. Exams were approaching, after all.

First time he went to the doctor was after the demon appeared in his kitchen. It was hard to call what he saw a human face, but it was clearly imitating one. It was glowing, only two empty eye sockets and a smiling mouth remaining. Xie Lian froze in place, not daring to look away. The creature slowly melted, dissolving in the darkness. But it didn't disappear. Xie Lian knew it was there, always watching, always following, just not visible now.

His Laoshi, Mei Niangqing, found him pretty quickly. He promised Xie Lian answers and a job in the Institute if only he let them study what made him «special». He agreed with no hesitation, hoping to get rid of the creature, who became progressively more violent with every passing day. None of them knew how much the situation was going to escalate.

Despite his anxiety, the calming rhythm of train wheels hitting the rails slowly lulled Xie Lian to sleep.

[sketching-shark]

Do you like the sun and moon allegory that the show push for swk n LEMH n to a lesser extent how the fandom r pushing it futher by including mk as the star??

I dont rlly get why that of all symbolisms gets to b hammer in the most. My feelings for it is v much went from neutral to dislike bc it box in swk into this sorta narrative that ‘oh things were easy for him n hes so bright!” And oh poor macaque he got stuck in the shadows of swk bc he the moon! Like huh?? Definitely didn’t spurred me bc of how some ppl were quick to equate “sun” as what it mean in sun wukong name.

I just rlly don’t like this inclusion to the whole LEMH v SWK. I got more to say but this just it for rn soo thoughts?

Monkie Kid spoilers below

asdfrgerwredsff well as the local "guy who gets stupid angry at how completely western canon and fanon refuses to engage with the og classic true & false monkey king arc" I can't say I'm a fan anon. And yeah the automatic equation of the "Sun" in Sun Wukong to the English word "sun" was a bit goofy if understandable at first (we all work under particular assumptions based on the cultures and languages we were raised in after all), but now in a lot of ways it seems to stand as one more example of how many people in a dominant culture won't take the time to even do a quick google search to see what a word's meaning in its original context was.

But aside from that I personally don't feel like this sun and moon allegory & the underlying insistence on a close relationship is doing either Sun Wukong, the Six-Eared Macaque, or even Qi Xiaotian any favors...I've given my thoughts about this in other posts, but a quick summary is that even though Monkie Kid appears to have veered away sharply from the interpretation of the Six-Eared Macaque as a living manifestation of SWK's worst aspects and made him more of an independent character, his ongoing violent obsession with the Monkey King still means he has basically 0% traits or things in his life that aren't defined by SWK in some form or another. Everything from his apparent goals to his artistic expression is focused on the Monkey King, and given how thoroughly he hates him in the show's present well that is not a good situation for anyone to be in. In regards to SWK himself, the decision to give his and LEMH's relationship more importance through pushing the sun and moon allegory also has been a pretty big part in the presentation of the Monkey King as a worse and worse of a person. Because in Monkie Kid LEMH was originally introduced as an antagonist, but the route that's been chosen partially to make him more sympathetic was to repeatedly frame SWK as a betraying power-hungry bastard, just like LEMH claimed in his shadow puppet play. So now it's like we started with an image of SWK as genuinely heroic, but as he keeps making disastrous calls in the present and and information about his past comes out it's like him as a sun wasn't so much about providing life-giving warmth as it was about blinding and burning everyone around him, with the show itself being like "psych! turns out SWK lies all the time. psych! his plan to stop the Lady Bone Demon was indeed hot garbage. psych! actually all he ever does is hurt those who loved and trusted him. psych! it's been hinted that even Qi Xiaotian in his deepest and darkest truths is now convinced that SWK is nothing but an agent of chaos & destruction & he's terrified he'll turn out just like him." And then of course Qi Xiaotian is there having been repeatedly traumatized not just by the main big bads but also by LEMH repeatedly beating him up and also by the disastrous consequences of SWK's carelessness & bad judgment. So. Lmao.

Now of course I need to note that there's still a lot of unanswered questions about what precisely happened in the past from SWK's perspective, whose answers may indeed help clear up this toxic morass that is the current dynamic between SWK, LEMH, and Qi Xiaotian. And chances are good I'm forgetting more positive stuff or making the context appear worse than it actually is. Even so, I think you can point to the "the hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon" as being one of the main starting points for the "SWK actually sucks and LEMH is the main victim of his terribleness" thesis that seems pretty popular in fandom and increasingly in canon. Again, I might just be carrying too much of a negative nancy pessimism about all of this, and of course it must be acknowledged that the overall situation is more complicated, but at least to me as it currently stands the sun and moon allegory seems to have not accomplished much except flip the "good" and "evil" designations between SWK and LEMH (X_X)

[xiaojunsmintchoco]

nct oneshot #2 (xiaojun)

pairing: reader x xiaojun

word count: about 1k?

genre: fluff

TW: eating dis0rd3r, please don’t read if this will trigger you!

synopsis: you find it hard to eat, but you make it through with xiaojun by your side to support you.

a/n: I wrote this based on what happened today with my own boyfriend, so please don’t come at me! Once again, if this topic will be a major trigger for you please please please don’t read this! (also I must say, I’m so grateful for my boyfriend and the support he gives 💗)

You��re not sure when and how it happened, but at some point your relationship with food and body image hurtled downhill, which resulted in you coping using unhealthy behaviours and habits that eventually manifested into a full-blown eating disorder. When you finally realised and decided to get better, you found the uphill struggle against your own thoughts challenging, every battle against the demons in your head draining you of all energy. Thankfully, you were blessed with a boyfriend who not only was aware of your struggle, he was also understanding of it and was always there to encourage you through all of your hard moments, which made your recovery journey much more bearable.

“Y/n!” Xiaojun exclaims, opening the door to let you in. “So glad you could make it,” he adds, giving you a peck on the cheek. 

“I’m glad we could make it too,” you remark, pulling him in for a brief hug. “So, what are we gonna do today?”

“Hmm, today’s gonna be a pretty chill date. Maybe we can sing karaoke in my room for a while? Then we can grab a snack and then see what else we want to do,” Xiaojun suggests. 

“Sure,” you agree, and both of you make your way to his room to set up his smart television and connect it to his computer.

The next couple of hours is a blast, with both of you browsing the internet for karaoke videos and jamming to different hits by various artists, from Queen’s “We Are The Champions” to Wonder Girls’ “Nobody”. Of course, both of you also take plenty of videos and pictures of each other as a keepsake of this date, which would be one of many precious ones to come.

“Would you like a snack?” Xiaojun asks, standing up as you switch the TV off. “I got you something, actually”.

A feeling of apprehension arises in your heart, already having the notion that your snack time would probably be another one of those tough battles. Still, you agree and patiently wait for Xiaojun to bring your snacks in. In a few minutes, he brings in two egg tarts on a plate, and your heart skips a beat as you see them. You used to love egg tarts and often liked to have one as an after school snack — but that was before they became a fear food. Now, you can’t even remember the last time you let yourself have one. 

Mixed feelings swirl inside of you, creating a confusing storm of conflicting emotions. On one hand, you so badly longed to eat the egg tart, the mere sight of it bringing up fond memories of the warm, crumbly pastry and sweet, delicious egg custard which you used to enjoy so much. On the other, your inner thoughts were yelling at you not to take the egg tart. Scream. Cry. Yell at him. Whatever you do, do NOT eat it. You’re gonna regret it so much if you do. 

“Y/n? You alright?” Xiaojun’s concerned voice cuts through your thoughts, and he’s waving his hand in front of you. 

“My ED…it’s making so much noise again,” you admit, voice mousy-quiet.

Xiaojun immediately understands and pulls you into a hug. “I’m so sorry. That must be so hard,” he muses, pursing his lips as he tries to find the right words to say. “I know it’s not easy, so I’m not gonna force anything on you. Just do your best, and I’ll eat together with you, okay? Take your time”.

Nodding, you accept the egg tart that Xiaojun hands you and mentally prepare yourself for the first bite. “Let’s take a bite together,” he whispers, encouraging you to mirror his actions as he takes a small bite out of his own egg tart. “Well done. Savour it, enjoy its taste. Ready for the second one?”

Every bite proves to be a challenge, the demons in your head not backing down and seeming to yell louder and louder, painfully taunting you and stirring up unwarranted guilty feelings. Still, Xiaojun patiently sits with you in his arms, gently encouraging you through it all. “You’re doing so well, y/n. Do you think you can take another bite with me?”

Little by little, bit by bit, you finish the egg tart, powering through the guilt and tears with the support and love Xiaojun provided the entire time. “Last bite. C’mon, y/n, you’ve got this,” he encourages, taking the last bite at the same time you pop the last of your own tart into your mouth. 

As soon as you finish, the floodgates burst and tears spill out of your eyes endlessly, the guilt too much to bear. “Great job, y/n. I know how hard that was, and I really think you did well. Let it all out now, I’m here for you,” Xiaojun reassures, and you find yourself back in the warmth of his embrace. On instinct, you return his hug and throw your arms around him as well, leaning into his chest and letting the tears flow. “I’m so proud of you. Really”.

Your storm of tears subsides after some time. “Would you like to do something to distract yourself?” Xiaojun suggests, knowing that that would help with the food guilt that so painfully raged in your heart. “We can watch Netflix, you can pick what to watch,” he suggests, and you nod. “Alright then. I’ll set up my account”.

Before you know it, you’re laughing over Jake Peralta’s antics in yet another episode of Brooklyn-99, still wrapped in your boyfriend’s arms as you soak up warmth and comfort, the guilt having been soothed.

It’s in moments like these, you’re so grateful for Xiaojun’s presence, and the safe place he provides in all of your tough moments. 

[munku-collar]

If it’s not too late to send a headcanon ask: does Demeter ever see herself in certain things Jemima or Sillabub do? How does she feel about it? Does Munkustrap notice certain things abt his daughters that remind him of Demeter?

There are plenty of things that both Demeter herself and Munkustrap notice <3

While Jemima may have something similar to Macavity's laugh, she has Demeter's giggle, and their mannerisms when they're excited, or delighted, are very much the same: tappy paws and tail swishing, bright smiles and just unmistakably visible enjoyment. Jem talks out of the side of her mouth just a little. Demeter does a lot, and the way Jemima talks, the things she says, echo Demeter a lot. While Jem's voice is a little higher than Deme's, her inflection is very similar too. She also shares Demeter's temper: not its short fuse, but the way it manifests.

Sillabub, if you ask Munkustrap, is a bit of a copy + paste of Demeter, especially visually. Deme will argue all day that Sillabub looks more like Munkustrap, but most cats agree with him. Either way Deme could never try and deny that Silly is her daughter lol. She has very similar expressions to Deme as well, especially her frown or confusion face, and the way she holds herself is similar, and when she has an attitude, the copy + paste becomes a lot clearer. However, Deme finds Silly's personality quite unique: Sillabub may be quiet and a bit reclusive but she's very sweet most of the time, and happy, and is only in bad spirits when she's overstimulated or tired. Demeter on the other hand is often in bad spirits on some level (which she will admit to) and actively combats her inner demons frequently.

Honestly, Demeter feels kind of humbled and joyful for the most part. Being able to see herself in her girls is a wonder, like "Oh my goodness, you got that from me?" She's always taken back for a second or two when she recognizes it, and the novelty of it never wears off. Munkustrap often points out their similarities too, claims that Deme gave them some of her best bits, and for the most part she would agree? At least, she would agree that they turned out pretty well despite their similarities to her lol.

Because as much as it's endearing to see herself in them, at the same time the knowledge that they did absorb so much from her, that they subconsciously have their eyes on her so much makes her nervous. She's hyperaware of her faults, and the trait she worries the most about is the temper that Jemima inherited. Jem isn't angry often, but when she is angry it's...not good. Despite popular belief Jemima has the ability to be cruel, especially when angry, and Demeter is guilty of cruelty in her past, which she frequently internally punishes herself for. And it's always in the back of Deme's mind that Macavity is Jem's biological father, so she just worries about Jem, about the combination of their tempers or negative impulses. She worries that one day something or someone will hurt Jemima and she'll let her emotions get the best of her and carry her away from Deme and Munk, and the kind, sympathetic ways they attempt to teach her.

But Munk keeps her focused on the endearing traits, and although he may share this fear as well(on a lesser level) he knows there is nothing to be particularly worried about. When Jem does get angry she moves swiftly into regret and remorse, usually tearfully so. So Munk gets to appreciate the little things the girls share with their mommy, and remind their dear mommy that she's perfectly wonderful, and so are they. The fondness in his voice and the smile on his face when he sees them together and behaving similarly, when he says (to the girls) "You remind me of her," or (to Demeter) "She reminds me of you," makes it easy for Demeter to feel more pride than panic. <3

And Demeter does the same in return often! She loves pointing out how the girls are like Munkustrap, all the little bits they got from him, because there are quite a few of those as well, in addition to beautiful entirely unique traits that are simply all Jemima and all Sillabub. Deme ribs him about the similarities especially when it's something mildly frustrating. "Just like your daughter," she says to him, shaking her head fondly, and "Just like your daddy," she'll say to the girls with a sigh, dropping a kiss on their foreheads. It's always amusing, even if some things can be irritating ;)

It's one of the best bits of being a parent she thinks: Finding things you love so much in your partner in your children, in being able to raise them to take things from both of you and make them so much better than you could ever be. It's fulfilling in a way she never anticipated. <3

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 076

“Hey, are you new here?”

“Yeah, I’m Dabura.  King of the Demon Realm.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Raditz.  Goku’s evil brother.”

“Hey, that’s really cool.”

“Thanks, but King of the Demon Realm sounds pretty cool too.  I mean, that’s metal as fuck.”

“Sure, but you can’t beat that personal stuff.  The hero’s evil brother?  That is classic stuff.  I wish I was someone’s evil brother.  I mean, I have a sister, but she’s evil too, so it just isn’t the same.  So uh... what’s this all about?”

“Oh, right.  So this is a thing where one of the characters is having a personal crisis, and we’re manifestations of his doubts and fears.”

“Ohhhhhh, I get it.  Well that explains a lot.  I was wondering why were so big.”

I don’t want to complain too much about this episode, because it’s not bad at all, but most of this stuff with the old villains is kind of boring from a liveblogging perspective, since they’re not real and nothing they do actually matters.  This is mostly continuity porn, where we see Goku and Krillin do some old moves and we get some flashbacks to all three of Krillin’s death scenes, plus some of the other times he got worked over. 

Also Bulma shows up for... some reason?  I know Krillin sometimes acts like he’s more scared of Bulma than the bad guys, but I’m pretty sure he’s not being entirely serious when he says that.  If this forest is supposed to be a manifestation of his insecurities, then I don’t understand what this is. 

Anyway, the reason this is happening is because Master Roshi sent Goku and Krillin to this spooky magic island to get him some “herbs”, but it’s pretty clear this is some sort of tough love mission to help Krillin get his shit together.  Fortuneteller Baba provides her crystal ball so Roshi can monitor their progress remotely.  Wait, they put the crystal ball in front of Baba’s hat, so now it looks like its floating behind her instead of in front of her.  Oh well.

Also, 18 and Marron show up to find out what’s going on, and they watch the crystal ball too.  Marron doesn’t understand what’s happening, so 18 tells her that Krillin is fighting “himself”, which is true enough, I suppose.

So at first it looks like fighting the phantoms is all they have to do.  Goku has to talk Krillin into it, but once they attack together, they all seem to vanish.  Nice of them to put Bulma and Vegeta in the same shot like this.

But Krillin gets frustated with how much Goku’s enjoying this.  He flips out and tells Goku that he’s not having fun, because he got hurt and sometimes killed against all of these guys.  So reliving it all is not fun for him at all. 

They also can’t just leave, because the island sprays purple smoke from some flowers, and the brambles around them extend up into the air.  Also the phantoms come back.

They also get a lot bigger this time.  Krillin and Goku get separated, and Goku turns Super Saiyan 3 to fight off the bad guys, but then they get even bigger still, and that’s when Goku finally figures it out.  He powers down completely, and meditates, and the phantoms vanish.

But that’s not so easy for Krillin to work out, since he’s got all this trauma associated with these creeps. 

Goku can’t fly around to search for Krillin, so he summons Kinto’un to ride on.  Sean Schemmel even sings a few bars of “Cha La HEAD Cha La.”  Wild.

Eventually, Krillin works out the solution for himself.  He tried fighting and not fighting, but the key for him is to control his fear and calm his mind.  Then he has to fight them.  I’m not sure I get all of this, but okay.

By the time he finds Goku, he’s been attacked by another phantom, this time one of Super Shenron from Episode 42.   It’s nowhere near as big as the real thing, but apparently Goku can’t just will it away like he did the others.  Also he can fight his way out, since it might hurt Kinto’un in the process.  Wait, how is Kinto’un trapped?  I mean, it’s a cloud, can’t it just slip out of this mess?

So Krillin busts Goku loose, and they shoot it with Kamehamehas together, and the last phantom explodes...

... which somehow produces the herb Roshi sent them to find.  Well, all right.

On the way back, Krillin declares that he has to come out of retirement.  He explains it to Goku, but he doesn’t follow his speech, so let me do my interpretation. 

Krillin only got into martial arts to impress women.  If you’ve ever seen his wife, you know he won that game a long time ago.  He doesn’t enjoy fighting like Saiyans, nor is he interested in becoming stronger for its own sake, like Goku, or even Tien, who’s been in this life longer than most of them. 

And it’s not even about proving himself to his wife and daughter, or sharpening his skills for his job as a police officer.  That’s what he told everyone in the previous episode, but now he sees the truth.  He needs the discipline and clarity that martial arts brings him.  So he can’t just switch it off when there’s no enemy to fight or duty to be fulfilled.  He needs this for himself.

So they get back and 18 and Marron are all happy to see him, and Roshi got all his magic weed or whatever.  Everything worked out.

And 18 shaves Krillin’s head again, officially unretiring him.  Well, he has hair again in the final episodes of DBZ. I think he’s still bald in DBS: Super Hero, but he has that police helmet on the whole time, so it’s hard to be sure. 

Anyway, it’s good to have him back.  Would have been cool to get Krillin back in the blue shirt like he had in the Cell Saga, but I can appreciate 18 enjoying the titties out look for Krillin. 

This two-parter was okay, but I feel like they had loftier ambitions for exploring Krillin’s character, and didn’t quite achieve them.  The main issue here is that Toriyama keeps retiring and unretiring characters as he needs them for his stories, and that necessitates the characters themselves acknowledging why they keep reversing their own decisions.  It’s fine for Toriyama to change his mind about these things, but from Krillin’s perspective, he’s a real person who chooses these things of his own free will, which means it all has to make sense to him.  And this episode tries to satisfy that idea, but that’s a tough nut to crack. 

I mean, I don’t think Krillin really came to any conclusions about himself that he didn’t understand before.  He’s struggled with self-confidence his whole life, and fighting phantoms of his old enemies doesn’t seem that much scarier than when Frieza actually came back in Resurrection F.

To be fair, sometimes life works that way, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate that sometimes you have to learn the same lessons multiple times.  It’s like how Goku played dumb about meditation in Super Hero.  Fans complained that Goku knows what meditation is because we’ve seen him do it before, but that’s not the point.  His masters have tried to teach him, and they may have gotten through to him about it, but he’s never fully appreciated the concept, which is why he keeps re-learning the same truths each time it comes up.   In the same vein, Krillin has been courageous all along, but he’s never fully understood what it means.  But that distinction seems pretty thin, and I’m not sure you can get a satisfying story out of it. 

[janus-stanus]

4 theories on who's telling the story of ISWM

I wasn't planning to make any more In Space With Markiplier posts before Sunday's explanation stream, even though I've now seen everything in both parts (pretty sure anyway). But I started typing this out when I was supposed to be writing something else, and at a certain point it felt like a shame not to finish and share it, so, here.

The main things I'm looking for each of these theories to address:

The storyteller’s motive for:

- Telling a story with Mark and Y/N - Making Mark be the bad guy while Y/N takes so much of the blame for most of it - Having choices that in some places repeat / are meaningless and all ultimately lead to one happy ending

Implications for Mark’s apology (is it genuine? is it coming from Actor!Mark or just Engineer!Mark?)

Why Dark isn’t here, but Celine / Ms. Whitacre is

None of the theories are bulletproof - in fact, each features questions without definitive answers. It's just meant to get ya thinking.

Before we start, two assumptions all of these theories are making:

That this is all still happening inside the Manor or the Manor dimension or whatever. If not, then I don't see how anyone could be "telling the story" as it were.

As alluded to above, that Ms. Whitacre is Celine. Between their similar costumes, Dorene referring to previously being married, and her almost calling Damien her brother... that's either Celine or someone impersonating her. It raises a lot of questions, which some of these theories will have to tackle, but I feel like it's safe to assume. This is about as direct as Mark's hints get.

With that established, let's get to it (beneath a read more, cause boy is this long)!

1. The manor entity itself

It has the power for that

It’s making Mark the “hero” but also torturing him, which sounds like what this demonic entity would do

It’s also doing the same thing to us, because we’re its new favorite, or at least someone new to manipulate who literally can’t leave

The spooky voice behind the door has been theorized to be the house, and this makes that easy

Dark’s absence would presumably be because he left the manor, in which case, good for him

Why would it revive Celine / invent Ms. Whitacre as a character? No clear answer.

The house’s opinion on giving choices is also not something we can easily determine, considering all three projects take different approaches to it

This theory would mean that Mark probably didn’t stage his apology… but would the house let him have that genuine realization and reconcile with Y/N? It def fucks with his mental state via thousands of years worth of anger turning to guilt, so maybe.

Why does it give a happy ending? Does it know that Dark is gonna use the crystal to start Heist and rip away that ending? Was it planning to rip that ending away anyway, to tell a new story?

2. Actor!Mark

The assumed answer, for good reason (we see him behind the scenes in part 1, his whole stated goal in Damien is that he gets to be part of endless stories where he’s the hero, and he is also the fictional version of the guy who’s actually telling the stories)

This is also the only option that really explains the times where Mark serves as narrator for the slideshow endings (the ones leading into go to the light + the Mack “ending”)

Would he make himself the bad guy in order to give himself a redemption arc? Does that mean he actually feels bad for what happened in WKM/Damien and this is his way to deal with it? Or is he just giving us what he thinks we want to see? Or, is this what he thinks he needs to be freed from the house? I mean, that’s how parole works, right? You need to show good behavior?

For someone who wanted Dark to be the villain to his hero, he sure did leave Dark out of this one entirely. Then again, his appearances in both heist and date were without Actor’s consent either, so while it’s a question worth asking, it’s not an inconsistency.

On the other hand, there sure is a version of Celine here. My initial Celci theory was that she was a manifestation of Mark’s feelings about Celine generated by the good old house while Ms. Whitacre was actually Celine, but I’m convinced now that Celci and Ms. Whitacre are both actually Celine, largely because of how they’re specifically given the same eye makeup, so… why would Mark include the person who, last he saw her, axed him in the chest, in a prominent and neutral to positive role? Is it a way to subdue her? How did he manage to grab her and not the rest of Dark?

3. Darkiplier (Damien)

We see him outside of the story in the post-credits scene, so it makes sense on that front while explaining why he isn’t there for the rest of it (though otherwise he may just have seen how many the universe was gonna end and said "fuck this"). He also exists on a level above the story in Heist with how he inserts the codes into other videos

That being said, he also says in Heist (which is post-this for Dark) that games aren’t his thing. So why would he tell this story, one where Y/N and Mark are partners? To give us a chance to torture Mark? …or, he just lied about the games thing. He is, let’s not forget, evil.

Only giving the illusion of choice is consistent with him in Date

Is Ms. Whitacre meant to be an avatar for him, injecting himself into the story? If so, why appear as an old lady who’s pretty obviously Celine, and not have any kind of Damien analog? Otherwise, I guess she just showed up on her own accord… which is more believable if Dark’s involved in the fabric of this story than, say, Actor!Mark. Speaking of…

Why have Mark, or a version of him, give a seemingly genuine apology? Just to see if we’ll fall for it? To force Mark to feel guilt? Or does Mark (this version of him) break the script with this apology?

The happy ending also feels very out of character for Dark to give us. Unless, like I mentioned in the house section, he’s letting it happen just to rip it away.

4. Celine / Ms. Whitacre

I don’t think this is the most likely, but right now it’s my favorite

So the idea is either that she’s telling this story while “asleep” (subconsciously accessing the manor's power), or she got booted out of Dark somehow and left in the manor (like us) and is doing this in the meantime (cause if Actor!Mark can manipulate the manor’s power for that, she sure as hell can)

Sure does explain why she’s here. Dark presumably chose not to meddle, or wherever she’s at he can’t access.

All the stuff she does that breaks the rules of the universe / makes her out of place (appearing where she shouldn’t, having new voiceover dialogue in the beginning of part 2) makes total sense if she’s the one telling it

(also means she’s almost certainly the one who tells us “don’t give up” in part 1)

It’s in character for Celine to offer “choices” that aren’t really choices (consider WKM, where we had the choice to be either brought back to life or stuck in limbo, which the Celci ending is a thematic variant of)

Def makes sense that she’d have Mark be the cause of all the problems but be too arrogant/ignorant to realize it for most of the duration, and also that there are so many endings where he perishes/suffers

But, would she have (or allow for) Mark to give a genuine apology, and then have a happy ending for him and Y/N? Well, if we look at Ms. Whitacre and how her perspective has changed from the Celine we knew, to the point where both she and Old Man Mark say similar things in part 2… I think it’s possible that, in the long time this story loop has been playing out, she’s gotten over her desire for revenge, and this story of hers has kind of morphed into a what-if redemption story (with her change in perspective shown by there being both Celci and Dorene as her avatars). Like, the kind of ending she’d like to believe is possible, where Mark realizes his fault and apologizes, and Y/N gets to have a life

(this works whether Engineer!Mark is Actor!Mark being pushed to this point or a nicer version of Mark invented by her for this story, which is nice)

(and it gives extra weight to him quoting her when he realizes he was in the wrong)

If this is Celine’s story where she gets her closure, then that explains why we never see her in future stuff

The main question this one raises is why she includes Y/N and has them take the blame for what Mark caused for so much of the adventure. Maybe she’s trying to turn us against Mark? But if this is shortly post-Damien for her, which occurs right at the end of WKM, then she should feel safe to assume that we also hate him. Is it meant to put us in her shoes, to help us understand her perspective? To teach us something?

Bonus point 1: I saw someone point out that, in Let Go, there's a moment where you can see she has the #1 Captain mug that the Captain gets given in Hold On (the one she actually gives you here is the buh-bye! mug, and hers has a Bandit quote on it). If she's the storyteller, I like to think of it as her having had the prompt on hand for you to get in the good ending.

Bonus point 2: Most of the significant new characters in this story that exist in multiple timelines and aren't a part of the Invincible Crew are women (or assumed to be). There's "Lady", the Bandit, and even the Wug that works with "Lady". Now, tell me, who's more likely to tell a story with multiple strong female characters who are ultimately sympathetic taking the spotlight: Actor!Mark, or Celine? (Yes Heist has the Scientist, but it also has all those other characters Mark plays, and the Hermit, and etc. etc.)

Bonus point 3: funny coincidence that Celci’s name is an anagram of the name of the narrator character played by Arin (Cecil). Like I know he had his name first and she’s named after Celsius, but, still.

That's all I've got! I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts on these theories :)

...

Except, that's not it. Because I gave it a day and had two new thoughts. One short and probably insignificant, one... Not.

First - there is one more potential candidate you could argue for being the storyteller: Wilford. Based on a) the power he demonstrates over the wormholes (even those his are a different color) and b) the computer the universe seems to run on using "Warstache OS". That being said, there is, like, no other evidence for this, and, more importantly to me, it really doesn't add anything to the story. Actor!Mark, Dark, or Celine being the storyteller all have implications for their characters. Wilford, on the other hand, is at this point defined by his consistent brand of apathetic chaos in the face of the constantly shifting madness of the universe, and telling a whole sprawling narrative like this with a clear ending and lesson/moral doesn't line up with what we've seen from him. So, while I'm bringing it up for the sake of completeness, I don't think it's a genuine option.

Now, for the actually plausible thing:

5. Celine theory v2

Last night, I was thinking about Damien (the video) again, as ya do, and two things in it got me thinking.

A) When Celine says in Damien that she’s done some horrible shit and used people to keep Damien alive... what could she possibly be referring to, considering all of Damien happens while they (in our body) are still in the manor?

B) I had the random realization that both Damien and Space have crossover with WMW - in Space we get to see why the second Wilford was there in the background of that one shot, while in Damien it’s the pink flower and the quotes from a little later in WMW that cues Damien off to things repeating. So, while I'm at the point where I firmly believe there is no one true "timeline", only each character's perspective on the series of events... it does seem that, from a certain angle, WMW, Damien, and Space are happening around the same time.

So. What if, instead of Celine telling the events of Space post-Damien when she's supposed to be asleep...

She's telling it during Damien? And, to tie it to observation A, her telling of this story is what’s somehow keeping Damien “alive”? With the infinitely dying colonists and crew* being the people she claims responsibility for "killing", and us (and Mark?) being the ones she "used"?

*(Consider that the bodies in the water in Damien could be the same as the corpses in Space - the house reusing “actors” for Space).

Your first question in response to that is probably, how does this keep Damien alive? Well. We could say that. Maybe, just maybe... MatPat was right actually.

Or, since he's not, and DA has to factor in somewhere as long as we’re still pre the very very ending of WKM...

Maybe focusing the manor's power to tell a story centered on Mark and the DA allowed Damien to slip under the radar… until Actor!Mark burst in.

(Also, since Celine keeping Damien safe is framed as her keeping him "asleep" while she's forced to stay "awake", consider that part 2 of Space literally finding a story to tell to help us go back to sleep.)

And then the endings of Damien and Space happen at the same time or one right after the other, meaning that, potentially, Mark and Celine both say their "I'm tired" lines at the same time. And then the cabin floods as the universe explodes for the last time, and the DA gets to smile at the big glass window that takes up the whole frame showing the new planet, while they’re being kicked out of their body into the glass mirror that takes up the whole frame. And, hey, maybe the reason Dark/Damien even kicks us out is because we became pals with Mark when he wasn't looking.

This does mean that there are 3 distinct Celines existing at the same point in time (Celine, Celci, Dorene)*. It also raises questions about Actor!Mark and Engineer!Mark re: what Actor!Mark was up to in Damien. Maybe the Actor!Mark who talks to Damien is only the embodiment of the worst of him while the rest is Engineer!Mark; or maybe Engineer!Mark started as just a role but developed as his own character to the point that he existed on his own and Actor!Mark could no longer play him; or maybe that Actor!Mark is an illusion by the house; or, maybe, something else.

*And I think there's another character here who, while not another part of / version of Celine, would, in this context, be meant to parallel her: The "Lady". Not just because they're associated with red lighting, but because they are the primary "antagonist" for most of Heist, hunting us and Mark down with her (space) gun. And what Celine lead Damien to think she's doing while she's out of the cabin? Hunting. Mark, presumably.

Some miscellaneous things about this version of the theory being true that would drive me insane:

1) Mark has poked fun at how people cry Darkiplier at any and all instances of red and/or cyan coloring in Space. And that's totally fair of him... Unless this is all actually happening mid-Damien, while we're still, on some level, inside Dark. Then it's fucked.

2) Who else remembers the bit in Damien where Damien looks to Celine and says "Aye aye captain"? Cause I did, in the days after space Part 1 came out, and I waited to see if that would mean anything. If Damien is saying that to Celine while she’s telling currently doing Space? That's, Something, all right. Especially when Cloak is currently selling a mug with the text "The Captain needs their rest" written in red.

3) The metaphor for Damien waking up in Damien (Mark why did you name the video just Damien) is winter ending and spring coming. What's the American tradition for finding out when that happens? When the groundhog comes out and isn't scared by its shadow. The ship the Captain arrives on is named the Shuttle Marmota. "Marmota" is part of the scientific name for groundhogs. On its own? Funny Groundhog Day reference (cause loop). In light of Damien? aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Now, personally, I would prefer it I think if Space is a story Celine is telling post-Damien, because I think it works better for her character development and her getting closure that way. That being said, the likeliness of this second version of the theory both concerns ad intrigues me. A story taking place within Damien, which is taking place within WKM, in a multiverse where time is totally fucked anyway. Why not?

I'm going to cut myself off now before I start thinking about something even crazier to tie into Space being a story told by Celine, like, uh, Bandit / Wilford parallels.

...oh no. Oh No.

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

HEYY ECLAIR, STORY ANON HERE- so you know your neon souls au. you know how we talked about it?? and how i said i'd write the arena angst battle in 2-3 buisness days??? WELL HERE IT IS, DAYS AHEAD OF TIME. PLEASE ENJOY. I HAVENT WRITTEN A FIGHT SCENE IN A YEAR.

---

Tsunagu waits in the tunnel, hearing the screaming-roaring-howling of the crowd above him, and breathes. He breathes, inhale-and-exhale, as the crowd's roar crescendos.

They must have announced the draw.

He reaches out for a cup of water and sips from it, trying to calm the still-shaking muscles of his body- the race had been a brutal one.

Three Soulless, put up against the rest of the Top Five- him, Shinya, Enji, Rumi, Hawks. A few fodder.

And him. All For One- he was in the audience today. Watching. Always watching.

Tsunagu swallows, feeling the contrast of the cool water and reveling in the pain-free swallow. His throat had just healed from inhaling smoke and cinders during the last Skyrace- one of the fodder had brought a lighter in, and… well. He didn't really like to think about it.

Steel creaked, and the shutters of the tunnel rose up. With it, brought the screaming hysteria of an audience desperate for blood, Mic's skillful working of a crowd- and Shinya, standing on the other side of the arena.

Shinya, who Tsunagu had tied with.

Shinya, who Tsunagu was expected to fight until one of them tapped out or died- and they couldn't just give up, easy as that.

No, All For One was here today, seated above the announcer's box. Normally, in a draw like this in a race, especially between Skyracers in the Top Five, there were minimum chances of casualties. Usually. There was still a chance- there was always a chance, when the stakes were as high as they were. But with the Demon Lord himself in attendance… things were always going to get gorier. Higher risks.

Higher chances of death. With All For One's eyes on a fight, there would be no expectation of surrender early on- and sometimes, not at all.

The shutters withdraw fully up, and Tsunagu steps into the neon lighting of the arena.

The lights and sounds blind him for a moment, but his visor makes quick work of that, adjusting and re-calibrating to the movement and the glaring glow-

The masses scream as Shinya steps out, spinning holographic staff in hand. He stops four paces in, just like Tsunagu. He slams the staff on the ground, and it dissolves into flakes of light.

Tsunagu speaks first, leaning back and crossing his arms. "Edgeshot," He says, voice projected and body shown on the enormous screens surrounding the arena. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I could say the same to you, Jeanist, and yet… here we are." Shinya's voice is deadly serious, lacking its normal inflections- he's fully absorbed into the persona of Edgeshot, the Number Four Skyracer.

Mic breaks in. "ALRIGHT, LISTENERS! HERE, TODAY- WE PRESENT TO YOU, THE NUMBER FOUR SKYRACER, THE MYSTERIOUS, ELUSIVE, UNKNOWN- EDGESHOT!" His voice shakes the bleachers, and the crowd doesn't disappoint. They rise in intensity, people chanting and howling, until their voices blend into each other- despite himself, Tsunagu's heart rate picks up, adrenaline shooting straight into his veins, and a smile crawls its way onto his face.

He did always like attention. Tsunagu -no, there's no place for Tsunagu here. Jeanist. He's Best Jeanist-.

"FACING OFF AGAINST! HIS SOULBONDED, THE NUMBER THREE SKYRACER- YOU KNOW HIM, WE ALL KNOW HIM! LET'S GIVE A BIG CHEER TO BEST JEANIST!"

Jeanist locks eyes with Edgeshot. He smirks. "May the best skyracer win."

"THREE!" Mic roars. "TWO!" The crowd screams with him. "ONE!"

He slashes a hand down, flattening himself to the concrete of the arena to avoid the holo-knife Edgeshot sends at him. "Too slow, darling," Jeanist taunts, fingers splaying out, a thread extending from each of them.

Threads meet knives mid-air, wrapping around and deflecting.

Edgeshot is running at him, manifesting circular platforms under his feet, jumping and throwing- Jeanist is moving, dodging left-then-up-and-

A knife skims its way past his throat. "FIRST BLOOD GOES TO EDGESHOT! OUR FAVOURITE NINJA IS ON A ROLL TODAY!"

"Who's the slow one now?" He says, voice broadcasted for the world to hear.

"Still you." Jeanist's threads snag Edgeshot, snatching him at the legs and pulling- he's sent to the floor.

Jeanist is on him in a second, threads pulling him up and at his opponent-

Crunch. Edgeshot's not stopped by a maybe-broken nose, barely stunned, and he struggles against the web of stings holding him in place- Jeanist slams his elbow to Edgeshot's ribs, once-twice-thri-

-the threads break like glass, and the two are on each other again, strings versus weaponry, each attack deflected with the ease of trained fighters. A knife goes for Jeanist's throat, and he dodges, twirling away and fingers crooking- the strings he sends are shattered by a spin of Edgeshot's staff, his katana shattered by a well-placed kick.

Edgeshot hooks an ankle around his left knee, and Jeanist goes down- a stomp on the collarbone, leaving a brilliant purple mark -no crunch, no crunch, it's not broken, he can still fight-

He slams a palm onto Edgeshot's ear, disorenting him and maybe even bursting his eardrums, and- something sharp, something to get him off of him- a knife.

Jeanist summons a holo-blade and rams it into Edgeshot's ribs. It slips perfectly into the gaps, a beautiful sea-green blade, shimmering like glass, perfectly contrasting the magneta of Edgeshot's costume and the weeping crimson red of his blood.

They can't stop here. It's not enough.

He wrenches the knife out of Edgeshot's side, dismissing it with a flurry of sparks.

Edgeshot is on him like a bullet shot from a gun. His fist slams into Jeanist's stomach. "That hurt."

"It was supposed to," He wheezes out, lashing out with nails and taking a chunk of skin out. Jeanist lost a nail in the process- Edgeshot grabs his outstretched right wrist and-

Something breaks. White-hot agony lances up his arm, and Jeanist feels tears bead up in his eyes. The sound that comes out of his mouth is strangled, stifled- but it's still caught by the microphones and fed to the hungry eyes of the crowd. He lashes out on reflex, left hand going for Edgeshot's shoulder for balance, and Jeanist kicks out at his visor.

It shatters, shards flying everywhere- a good number go into Edgeshot's face, and he cries out, eyes flying shut but grip going even tighter. He flips Jeanist over, and he lands on his back, breath knocked out of him.

Edgeshot pins him down, belly-up on the floor of the arena, to the roar of a bloodthirsty crowd. He twists on Jeanist's maybe-fractured-maybe-broken wrist, and this time the scream he lets out isn't muffled in the least. A knife manifests, in Edgeshot's free hand, and it's coming for his chest, angled for his heart-

"I yield!" The words are pulled out of Jeanist's throat. "I yield!"

"AND WITH THAT, LISTENERS, EDGESHOT HAS BEEN DECLARED WINNER OF THIS SKYRACE, AS BEST JEANIST HAS SURRENDERED!"

The crowd cheers and stomps and celebrates, their bloodthirst fed.

---

all hurt no fluff!! only the lights of the arena, the roar of the crowd... and the cold comfort that at least none of you are dead. mayybeee ill write a follow-up to this later? also the NAMES. please appreciate the names. tsunagu cannot BE tsunagu when hes in the arena- he's best jeanist, and the same for shinya.

-story anon (hi, eclair! i hope you enjoyed this, the proofread version. :D)

Holding this so so close to my heart, I have read this over so many times and I LOVE it so so much.

(This is the ask that drawing was based on!!)

[nudibranchpropaganda]

Talk about your OCs!!!!!!!!!!

i desperately wanted to respond to this immediately but i had a physiology exam this morning :(( have my post exam sleep deprived caffeine induced ramblings mwah <3

there's 3 of them rn and i love them all to pieces i have gone into wayyyyyy too much detail under the read more

so there's my demon baby who currently has no name. legit just The Demon in my brain. they started as a reader insert but i genuinely fell in love with them and am probs gonna keep adding to that au for a while (keep an eye out if u liked it)

Personally i see them as genderfluid - they can shape shift at will, but tend to lean towards mma/wrestler builds (1000000% can and will fuck u standing up) and charcoal grey skin (to blend in w the smog that fills their home skies).

physical characteristics? definitely has bat wings. love thin, membranous, and slightly translucent wings. they generally have claws and sharp teeth, a tail cause its fun to whip around and provides a nice counterweight + extra arm to grab things. they change the style of their horns like some ppl change their hair colour, a personal fav are ones either like a ram's or greater kudus's, but honestly if u like a different kind they've probably worn them for a bit for sure. tall and broad no matter what. this bastard is BIG and will use it to their advantage.

they feed off emotions, there's a whole taste menu thing i could get into, but generally they feed on fear cause its most readily available. their fav is happiness. just pure joy. tastes like bubbly sunshine and keeps them satiated for weeks. they can also amplify emotions, but can't create them if they aren't already there. summoned in the stereotypical way: fire, blood, latin chant (soap was just fuckin around for a laugh). no aversion to generic holy items, they aren't evil just another species. bright light will fuck them up tho cause they are nocturnal and have "evolved" for life in the darker hours.

can be mean. can be very very mean. knows where to hit to make it hurt, will absolutely be a little cruel on occasion when hurt by something. can also be very very warm, reading emotions makes it easy for them to give ppl what they need. generally is pretty sweet though, kinda like a creme brulee - brittle hard outside that you gotta crack to get to the soft sweet inside.

when i wanna get into their headspace i listen to maneater by the blue eyed blondes, gimme by she keeps bees (thnx for the rec on that one), keep it down by migrant motel, and i like the way you die boy by black honey. the pintrest board that i dump all the vibes in

the last one is still sorta in the work shopping phase. they're a cod oc, early to mid 30s again. i know their call sign is Jaws bc they tore someones throat out with their teeth when they got pinned down during a mission. they're head hunted by laswell after the 141 is a known force for their recon and undercover work. they get pretty close to gaz and soap, but struggle initially to break into the group cause the boys are such a well oiled machine at this point and don't really want to disrupt the status quo.

there's also the protag of my other cod fic (once again i have yet to name her). she's bi, in her mid 30s, and moved out to the edge of the forest after her last long term relationship ended (have yet to decide whether it was divorce or death). she's definitely a recluse, has a little bit of a hobby farm garden going (hugelkultur ftw), and grew up on stories about how the woods used to eat people (nova scotian; apalachian for sure).

BAD relationship w/her mother. they dont speak anymore. kind enough to her neighbours, but everyone kinda thinks shes a little strange, a little offputting (same girl). big on enjoying the little moments with the people she loves, sitting on the porch and drinking tea together kinda life.

she's honestly super special to me and i love her so much. abandoned and cranky but forced to confront that physical manifestation of grief and rage inside her when she gets attacked in the home she used to share w/her wife. and then soap? just kinda working his way into her life and very quickly getting close to her and being kind and gentle and reaching out a hand for her? idk if that was how it came out but that was what i was going for :)

anyways i listened to black hole by Griff on repeat when writing that fic, also kiss with a fist by florence and the machine. alrighty aphrodite by peach pit, lost without by shane guerrette, ghosts and monsters by saint chaos, and west virginia by the builders and the butchers were some more songs that made the writing playlist for her. pintrest board if ur interested :)

they had some trouble with their last unit too, butting heads with a shitty CO/team mate (tbd). this 100% made it into their rap sheet and gave them a bit of a rep as a trouble maker, they chose to lean into it a bit though and cause some problems on purpose for assholes. they are pretty standoffish at the start, can take a while to warm up to people. not super chatty, but enjoys spending time w/friends and will just chill and listen. loyal to a fault, but not to many ppl (eventually the 141, las, a few old team mates).

they aren't close with their family, parents passed in a car accident while they were on deployment and their sister feels like they abandoned her for the military (give an oc a happy backstory challenge has been failed). playing around with the idea of them faking their death and leaving their old team behind to go undercover at one point (the angst of being recognized by someone who thought they were dead and accidentally burning that bridge tho)

disco! in the panic room by bug hunter, hey child by the x ambassadors, choke by i dont know how but they found me, bury me face down by grandson, aint lookin by the wild feathers if i end up writing them w/one of the 141. a pintrest boards 4 u to browse :)

wow that got really long, thanks for sticking with it!! im sure i'll start posting a little more about all of them as i flesh them out, once i get through the paper and presentation i have for a couple of my classes next week im gonna have wayyyyy more time to write and explore them :))))))))

[saarasabaku]

DMC OC Week Day 5

Day 5-Round 1-Part 1

TW/CW: Violence, and a brief Self Harm mention

Weapons:

All of Saara’s weapons as of now were personally made by her, well all except one. They are not Devil Arms as they contain no Demonic soul within them but they do all contain Saara’s power so she has dubbed them Demonic Arms instead.

Kokytos:

A large Demonic scythe especially made to store and channel Saara’s Chaos energy.

Every slash can, if she chooses, fire off waves of the very same energy it has stored inside. Making it excellent for clearing out large groups and long ranged combat. It’s extremely heavy, though the way Saara wields it may suggest otherwise. She can easily cleave through entire scores of Demons or whatever else may be in her way without even breaking a sweat. This weapon also has the ability to absorb any soul and use it to give the user a buff or it can take on the properties of the soul(s) it absorbs, picking and choosing from whatever abilities that being may have had at random.

Aaraksha:

A katana hand made for Saara by Vergil, a symbol of their friendship and of their loyalty to each other. 

“A worthy gift for a loyal Knight…”

“Are you blushing Vergi?”

Vergil clears his throat and looks away, handing Saara the sheathed sword.

“Do you accept?”

She giggles at his bashfulness 

“Is that all I am to you, your knight?”

“No, you are… A true friend…”

“Heh, I see. Well then of course I accept.” 

This weapon looks and functions similarly to the Yamato, due to the way Saara’s powers manifest through it. The pommel has Saara’s family sigil engraved upon it, a tree growing in a braid like fashion around a sword with six fruits dangling off its branches. Each one is a different jewel, to represent the six Primordial beings, Saara’s family. The hand guard is decorated with various leaves and vines.

Saara can use Araksha to cut the very fabric of reality by channeling her powers over Space. She uses this to cut down foes with blinding speed and precision, teleporting around the battlefield in a beautiful, but deadly dance, of which there will be no escape.

Sweet Blasphemy:

A set of physical and spectral chakrams, used for both melee and ranged combat.

These weapons are specially made to have an affinity for elements, allowing Saara to imbue them with any of the three elements she has at her command: Fire, lightning and Chaos. When thrown they have the ability to track targets as well as return to their user after attacking. Saara tends to skate around the battlefield with the physical versions on her feet, using Chaos magic to float around. When she does this, the Primordial will use mostly her legs during combat but keep an eye on her hands as well for she can summon the spectral pair at any time.

Herself:

Saara much prefers unarmed combat to armed and will do so more often than not. The thrill of ripping apart her enemies with her bare hands, rending them with tooth and claw is something she just cannot pass up.

Abilities:

Superior strength:

If Saara wished to she could bench press a multiverse with easy (The Demon World or anything like it) She could lift it, throw it, play a fucking game of catch with it, easily without breaking a sweat. AND Saara could destroy one just as easily, more than one if she really wanted. It'd be child's play for her and all the Primordials but her especially since Saara’s strength is in an even higher tier then them.

Superior speed:

Much like her strength, Saara’s speed is in a league all its own. She is faster than even a being who can bypass the very flow of time itself. Her warps are incapable of being tracked, and Saara’s attacks… Well if she’s attacking with all her force, enemies don’t even have time to react before being completely eviscerated down to their very soul.

Superior healing:

Saara can heal any injury faster than the blink of an eye, this also prevents most toxins or poisons from harming her significantly. At most they will slow down her body's natural healing ability depending on the potency.

Immortality:

Saara cannot die. She cannot be killed, erased, or anything else of that nature. Saara cannot even kill herself no matter how much she may want it… 

Spectral Weapons:

Saara learned to create spectral weaponry for ranged combat from Vergil and uses two types. The Abbadon blades made in the image of her Fathers sword Mother Chaos and arrows named Skadi, which she uses less often. Both these abilities function similar to the Vergil’s Summon Swords, and Saara can also change their size and wield them like melee weapons as well.

Demonic Elemental Mastery:

As a hybrid born from two Demon parents Saara was born with an inherent ability to bend the elements to her will. Saara’s Mother was an Elemental and had dominion over Lightning and an affinity for nature. Saara also has this ability and has long since mastered Lightning and she uses her nature affinity for gardening purposes.

Through experimentation Saara gained control over fire, Berial’s blood granted her this.

Throughout her years she has learned to wield it with precision. Her flames are hot enough to sear away the soul.

Space:

This power is one Saara inherited from her Father, it allows her to jump to any area or dimension at will. She can also open portals to transport herself or others wherever she pleases as well as store objects in tiny pocket dimensions (Pocket Portals)

Chaos:

The energy that makes up the very universe itself. 

Saara can bend any being that was made from/uses it, to her Will (Demons, witches, magic users, ect.)

With this power Saara can bend all of reality to her Will, Creating something from nothing, turning enemies to dust with a simple word or thought, nothing is beyond her once the seal is broken. She can even heal Demons or beings who use Chaos as well. If Saara wants to she can create Chaos pockets of varying sizes to buff herself and enemies as a byproduct.

Energy manipulation

Most Demons have some type of energy manipulation of varying degrees but Saara’s is rather unique in the way it functions. It affects her sensory abilities the most, enhances them, allows her to see things that most won’t ever be able to. Saara can sense energy from any living being and inanimate objects as well. This includes auras, souls and anything else that might give off energy like emotions. She sees these things as a vast array of colors and has mastered being able to read them with incredible proficiency and from incredible distances. (Ex. Saara can read someones intent without even looking at them) 

Saara can also talk to and understand plants because of her ability to manipulate Energies

Soul Manipulation:

Due to her mastery over Chaos and Energy, Saara can control and use the souls of others in whatever way she wishes, concepts also fall under this. If she were to consume a soul, she would be able to completely destroy it, erasing it's existence from all any and all universes or splice it apart to harvest any ability she wanted from it.

Flight:

Saara was born with angelic wings that she can use at will, they are black as the void and speckled with gold. When moving they shimmer like the night sky and are iridescent in the light. She is unable to retract her wings if they have been severely damaged, which could result in loss of feathers and dullness in color.

Close Combat Mastery

Saara’s not afraid to get her hands dirty, in fact she rather enjoys it. She has trained long and hard to master the Primordial and Elemental styles of fighting which can seem very similar to dances when used in combat. Both styles can be easily mixed with one another and are perfectly made for battle. There are many, many stances and Saara has perfected each one.

[houseofpurplestars]

Mandy ramblings (major spoilers)

.

.

.

Mandy correlates the patriarchy with literal evil, both demonic and evangelical. These two sides, God and the Devil, they are the same side. Patriarchy thrives on false binaries.

The deconstruction of the patriarchy is on display immediately: Red destroying a tree, a necessary part of a healthy and natural world. The battle of Red against the patriarchy is foreshadowed on the radio. The conservative preacher spewing nonsense- which Red shuts down promptly- is just another Jeremiah Sand.

Red's literal job is to destroy, whereas Mandy's is to create. While, yes, this leans into a patriarchal stereotype of woman-as-creator, it matters less that Mandy is a woman, and more that she is open, honest, and curious.

We see Red leave the bleak destruction behind, and retreat to a haven of creativity. It is easy to assume that Mandy is Red's safe place. There is a light that glows inside him and through Cage, manifesting in his smiles and silly jokes. He becomes human, he has a function other than destruction; he can love. He can, beyond the grasp of the patriarchy, be nurturing and supportive, both for himself and his partner.

Red and Mandy's relationship, their love, is cosmic. It does not need definition. It's pure, it is as organic as anything else around them as they live deep within the woods. This is illustrated poignantly as they lie together in bed in a room made of glass. Their home is all windows, like a greenhouse: a place that is open to the eye and fosters growth.

Red asks Mandy about what she read that day, and she tells him about Jupiter and Saturn. Red invokes Galactus, eater of planets, in a moment of both self-reflection and foreshadowing.

Mandy wakes Red after the dream of the fawn- implying that it was actually his dream- and he is the one who says, "sometimes I wonder if we should move away from this place" and Mandy says she likes the peace of living in the woods.

When Mandy tells the story of the starlings- a symbol of thriving community- we see that Red is her safe place, too. Her body bears evidence of trauma (the scar on her face), and her heterochromatic eyes hold an existential weight that suggests a depressive.

I believe this is less an instance of reducing a woman's character to her body (she is only shown naked in Red's Heavy Metal-inspired animated dreams) than a deployment of Cosmatos' visual storytelling style. He seems to take a minimalist approach to story, and being able to infer a character's backstory from their appearance (rather than spending much time expositing on it) seems the kind of creative choice he would make.

As for the cultists, Sand is a caricature of Patriarchy. He is male privilege personified: impulsive and demanding, his desires catered to by doting women and opportunistic men.

The film's reluctance to explicitly state a connection with demonic forces only bolsters its ability to act as an apt metaphor. Whether Sand is possessed by a demon is inconsequential. Whether the so-called black skulls are literal demons makes no difference: they certainly are not human. Much like the physical enforcers of patriarchy (police), their vice is power, and they have forfeited whatever humanity they may have had. To ally with them is to make a blood pact, and be forever stained.

The way Sand is so easily disarmed by Mandy's laughter when he attempts to intimidate her illustrates the truly fragile nature of not only the male ego, but the patriarchy itself. There are many ways, large and small, to disrupt the patriarchy. This is why the system protects itself so fiercely, dispensing retribution for any perceived slight. There is an echo of witchcraft hysteria in the way Sand dooms Mandy for daring to intimidate him. Her power is such a threat to him that he must erase her completely.

The tiger is less a directly-representative animal for Red as it is (in the tarot sense) a Death-like signifier for transformation.

Red is wearing the tiger shirt throughout his torture, returning to an empty house, and finally confronting his grief in the bathroom scene. These are all stages of transformation. Whoever Red was before is gone. Now he is someone different.

On the forging of the ax, Cosmatos said:

"I wanted the weapon that he forges himself to crystallize, a manifestation of his grief and insanity and not like a real object; more like a mythical artifact that he sort of pulls out of his soul in a way."

I feel that Red is pouring his soul into The Beast through the ritual of forging it, and that his body is left a husk. The Beast is imbued with everything Red has left within him, the last human parts of him; his rage, his grief, his commitment. He is becoming the weapon.

When Lizzie the tiger is freed, there is another transformation. Red has morphed again, now blood-stained and altered by cocaine and demonic LSD.

The Chemist repents when he sees Red and recognizes the "cosmic darkness" surrounding him. Red doesn't have to say anything in the scene for the man to be swayed. Simply standing firm is enough to show an example to someone who, deep down, knows better.

Red wields the tools of patriarchy against itself: the chainsaw and the axe. While the axe becomes a symbol of himself, for it is a tool with many purposes, the chainsaw becomes the symbol of man vs man. Like the patriarchy, the chainsaw serves no purpose but to destroy.

What we see by understanding that Red enjoyed his revenge is that he is not immune to the thrall of the same evil possessing Sand. While he may be standing on the righteous side of this particular situation, he is susceptible to the same follies. I believe the connotation here is that, while the evil of patriarchy continues, men will be unable to create. They will only bring forth- and only find pleasure in- pain and death.

The film itself can serve as a metaphor for challenging the patriarchy, but also a warning that men are only empowered by evil. After all, if one must become evil in order to defeat evil, then one must ultimately destroy oneself.

I believe the film says point-blank: men are evil, and men themselves must clean the house. They must destroy that evil- which has the potential to reside in any one of them- or it will destroy everything worth living for.

[adelaide388]

My Thoughts on Kanou and Someya's Relationship

Note: I'm not referring to Kanou Somoku and Someya Kaoruko. I'm referring to their parents. I'll address Kanou as Somoku, his father as Kanou, and Kaoruko's father as Someya. This is not a review of Okane Ga Nai. I will not be criticizing nor defending the series and all of its problems. This is just an account of my thoughts on Kanou and Someya's relationship.

The first time I read Okane Ga Nai, I never thought I'd be consumed with the desire to create fanfiction/fanart of a side pairing, much less this massive, soul-consuming post, yet here I am. I'll go by sequential order, oldest chapter to the newest.

1.) Vol. 6, Ch. 4

In this chapter, Ayase asked Somoku if he and his father had any nostalgic memories. Somoku answers no because Kanou took him to mahjong clubs.

Nothing much happened here in terms of Kanou and Someya's relationship. However, I include this flashback because it's the first time we see these characters interact, and it gives us an understanding of their dynamic.

As we saw in this picture, Kanou and Someya's dynamic is lacking. Someya objects to Kanou's cruel demand to be paid for beating Somoku, and Kanou dismisses him.

There is no chemistry between them. Their interactions are reserved and distant. I really don't have much to say about this flashback other than this wasn't the moment I decided to ship them. The following section is when I started to get interested.

2.) Vol. 8, Ch. 4.5

This comic strip is to blame for my obsession. Basically, it's just a funny story about Somoku's upbringing.

I like how Somoku was basically a demon since birth lmao.

Anyways, the reason why I say this comic strip was the cause of my obsession is that Kanou had to rely on Someya. A ruthless man is reduced to an incompetent father who has to rely on his friend with the personality of a chihuahua. How funny is that?? I found it hilarious and cute.

But the other reason why I love this comic strip is that Kanou is getting used to Someya. Thinking back to Vol. 6, Ch. 4, I mentioned that Kanou basically treated Someya like an outsider. To me, that implies that Kanou wanted to raise Somoku alone; he didn't want/need the opinion of others. And with Kanou's mindset that not even familial bonds should get in the way of business, it's no surprise that Kanou would raise Somoku alone. However, he realizes that raising a kid isn't as easy as he thought it would be lol.

So here comes Someya in all his short-tempered glory and destroys Kanou's peace. I imagine that Kanou would be uncomfortable with having another person barging into his home, nagging him for his inappropriate behavior, and making noise when playing with his baby. And that uncomfortable feeling is manifested in silence as Kanou just listens to Someya scold him like in the second picture. I mean, what else can Kanou do to not piss off the only help he has? He's helpless, and I love it LMAO

I was fangirling so hard after reading this comic. And then comes Vol. 9, Ch. 38

3.) Vol. 9, 38

There isn't much interaction between Kanou and Someya, but there are cute moments about Someya being important to Somoku.

First, let me start off by commenting on this picture.

AHHHH! The cuteness overload >.< Anyways...

I'm probably reading too much into this picture, but I can't help but feel like this is symbolic. Turning your back to someone is a symbol of trust, and the fact that Kanou is back-to-back with Someya is making me squeal!!! But not only does Kanou trust Someya, but Somoku trusts Someya. So much so that he prefers sitting in Someya's lap over his father's lap. It might be logical that Somoku would prefer to sit with Someya, but Somoku grew up with his father's lessons about trusting no one; Somoku wouldn't trust so easily with that mentality but he doessssss! He finds security and maybe even comfort in Someya, and that's just so cute to me.

Someya is the glue of the Kanou household, the center, and I'm dying to see more about the trio.

Last comment about this chapter, take a look at the quote, "'Only two people can do that to the President and live. The previous president and Someya-sensei." The side character says this to Ayase after he sees Someya whack Somoku and it's just so funny to me. Like, the poor boy was just thinking about how scary Somoku was that he had yakuza henchmen trembling and then out comes some angry chihuahua to hit Somoku. Everybody gangsta until your parents whoop your ass.

Also, look at how alike Someya and Somoku are <3

Last thing I swear. Takanohashi is a real one for starting my "Someya is a mother/wife" campaign lmao he's a fudanshi at heart.

4.) Vol. 10, 45.1

THIS IS MY FAVORITE FLASHBACK!

Okay, so this is my favorite flashback because KANOU IS FINALLY COMFORTABLE WITH SOMEYA!

Kanou feels comfortable enough to tease Someya by calling him a "certain fussy lawyer." The tone of the panel where the quote comes from is a joking tone because the characters are drawn in a style similar to chibi form, which is why I say it's a joke and not an insult. They've become so close as they rightfully should be because they've been raising a kid together for years.

Another reason I love this flashback is that Somoku secretly loves that Someya showed up for him. He was prepared to not see his father at the school and then comes Someya and Somoku blushes! It warms my heart that a child gets the emotional support they deserve.

I have to say that as much progress as Kanou and Someya have made, Kanou still thinks he's alone sometimes. Someya yells in the last picture, "...when you say 'I'm taking responsibility for Somoku!'" Kanou still makes comments where he takes sole responsibility for Somoku, and that hits hard after looking at the latest chapters, but basically, it's like Kanou reminds himself that he shouldn't confide in Someya as a co-parent. And that's just sad :(

5.) Vol. 12, Ch. 5

This is so cuteeee <3

"It's because we're too soft on you." -> AHHHHH! <3<3 Another example of Kanou being comfortable with Someya. He's thinking about themselves as married.

"I'll sue him for defaming your father's character!!" -> Actual development on Someya's part. Usually, Someya gets mad at Kanou, but this time he's mad for Kanou. This time Kanou isn't the enemy in Someya's eyes; Kanou is the one who needs "protecting."

Also, can I point out that Someya spends way too much time with the Kanous? I understood that he needed to be there a lot because Somoku was a baby, but now he's a child, he should be able to live another day under Kanou's "care." Someya doesn't need to be there, but I love that he is there often :)

6.) 69-71

HERE COMES THE ANGST. I don't know if this counts as a spoiler because the chapter(s) has been on mangago.com for a good month, but whatever, spoiler alert.

My heart...hurts.

Look at Someya's terrified face in the first picture. You'd think he saw a ghost, but no, it's just Someya surprised at Ayase's comment about Somoku looking like Kanou. Why was he surprised?

Kanou's last wish was for Somoku to be different than him. Kanou had expressed to Someya only that he wanted Somoku to be different and that means he didn't want Somoku to be alone.

I've mentioned that Kanou had a solitary mindset, especially before Someya got involved in Somoku's upbringing, but why did he think like that? He's a loan shark, first and foremost. It's not easy for him to trust because trusting the wrong person can be dangerous. And he has to be ruthless to ensure no one tries to get away with stealing his money. It's no wonder why Kanou came across as a lonely character in Vol. 6, Ch. 4, and the comic strip. He believes being alone helps him in the long run, even if it creates enemies like Konomi.

But Kanou raised Somoku to think like him, so what difference does it make that Kanou doesn't want Somoku to be like him?

I think the difference has something to do with regret. Kanou believed being alone protects him at his job, and he probably thought Somoku was going to take his place, so Kanou trained Somoku to think like him. But Kanou didn't take into account that Someya would change his perspective. Someya showed Kanou that sometimes he had to trust someone else and that trusting could lead to a bond so strong, so beautiful that even if they yelled at each other or pushed each other away, they'd be there for each other. And Kanou probably regrets that it took (maybe 6-12 years, I don't know how old Somoku is in the Vol. 10, Ch. 45.1 flashback) so long to trust Someya. He could've enjoyed Someya's companionship sooner had he not been so stuck in his solitary ways.

So even if Kanou wants Somoku to think like him because he thinks it'll keep Somoku alive, he wants Somoku to behave in the way Someya raised him. It's why, despite Kanou judging Somoku's brattiness, he comments, "...it's a good thing that that damned brat isn't anything like me." Because it's Someya's influence. Somoku's brattiness is Someya's fault. Somoku being short-tempered is Someya's fault. Kanou sees a difference in Somoku (because Kanou sure as hell wouldn't act like that at all), and he couldn't be happier. Why? Because Kanou doesn't want Somoku to be alone.

I think Someya gave Kanou the wrong idea that those personality traits are what will help Somoku make friends lol, but they are a sign that Somoku isn't emotionally stunted like Kanou. Somoku has the capacity to learn personality traits that will get him friends, and that's probably enough for Kanou.

And because Kanou had expressed his satisfaction only to Someya right before he died (LOOK AT THAT GENTLE SMILE HOLY SHIT), Someya took it upon himself to carry on Kanou's wish.

It's why Someya is so devasted in the sixth and seventh pictures when he saw Somoku's harsh expression mirror Kanou's expression. Someya feared Somoku would harden his heart and follow Kanou's footsteps. It's why Someya felt so much relief in the last pictures because he knew Ayase would change Somoku for the better and help carry out Kanou's wish when Someya no longer can.

SOMEYA IS SUCH A DEDICATED HUSBAND TO KANOU THAT HE WOULD THROW AWAY HIS HOMOPHOBIA IF ONLY TO GRANT KANOU'S WISH T-T

I'm sad that Kanou and Someya couldn't get a happy ending. I'm devastated that Kanou died alone after having known companionship. I'm upset that Someya has to live on as a widow burdened with the unabsolved guilt of having failed his husband. I'm disappointed that Somoku couldn't see that his father did care about him and that Somoku probably won't get a chance to think about that.

~*~

Well, that was my emotional journey as I read through the Kanou-Someya moments. I hope I got everything and explained everything even though nobody asked for this. I'm just glad I got to share my thoughts.

Here are some more pictures that I found cute but I didn't include:

[headspace-hotel]

RE: human husbandry

I’ve read a lot of weird porn, for years I’ve been of the opinion we should study the smut PWP citrus fruit for its discursive portrayals of human physiology and anatomy

A LOT OF SMUT WEIRD SMUT and this is a thing, complete with alien overlord

The first time I encountered it, the aliens couldn’t molecularly distinguish between reproductively compatible Homo sapiens but did describe ejaculate on the molecular and chemical level as a way of communicating put peen in veedjeen (butthole)

If it’s not aliens (imperialism; extracting resources) it’s a megacorp in a dystopian feature where cows are extinct/people will pay for that (capitalism^individualistic bad) or it’s demons from another dimension keeping humans as cute pets,

you can do Marxist readings of this stuff, it’ll get all the funding from academia because stuffy Protestantism/its-trendy-easy-binary-opposites and will totally blow past the hot!bodyhorror elements, which is the real meat because come on, you ever read a sex scene so weird you thought it should people should study this? People are gonna study this, through the lens of post-colonialism or Marxism because they’re boring predictable cowards

I can only halfway comprehend this but I have related ideas in my head, which I will type.

Sexual biology offers a lot of opportunity for exploring how society could be different and how biology, sex, gender, gender roles etc. are interrelated, but a LOT of the people really digging into this are doing it because it gets them horny.

(That's a "but" in the sense of "the worldbuilding is locked away inside a shell of potentially very unnerving porn," not a "but" in the sense that "the horny necessarily stops it from being interesting worldbuilding.")

A/B/O is interesting to me because it's not a trope at all, it's a set of very specific worldbuilding conventions that don't naturally arise or organically derive themselves from other works. Tropes are story building-blocks that have lots of variation and mutation. Some tropes are very localized to a specific genre or context, but very few of them become defining labels in their own right, and I think most things that qualify as "tropes" are the kind of thing you could put in your story unintentionally without having a name for it.

A/B/O is a genre—one that originated in fan fiction, no less (though alpha wolf porn is definitely a Thing in the original fiction world). It's...really interesting, just the fact that it exists, probably a perfect portrait of some very specific manifestations of transphobia, sexism and homophobia, and I wish to avoid reading any of it at all costs tbh. Not only is "domination" (as it's generally written) and dub-con just gross and squicky for me, I straight up couldn't cope with the incorrect wolf biology, even if the characters aren't wolves or anything wolf related.

The term "alpha" as a social or biological category in any species will always make me see red. It's just so steeped in bullshit, I think it's damn near irredeemable as a concept in creature biology. I couldn't take it. I'd get too angry.

If you are interested in a series that explores distinctly not-human configurations of gender, sex and sexual biology in a not-horny way, I recommend the Books of the Raksura by Martha Wells. It really delves into how social and gender dynamics are different without being horny about it. So it's been done very well.

But there's definitely, in theory, a ton of overlap between "I, the writer, am a monsterfucker/ have a specific fetish that I'm writing into this book" and "I, the writer, am writing alien/non-human/otherwise biologically speculative characters, and they have sex."

And it can be kind of hard to tell in xenofiction. There's a book, Ratha's Creature by Clare Bell, that is first in a series about intelligent big cats, and it includes...sex scenes. (One or two sex scenes?) Cat sex scenes. I genuinely don't think it's the author's kink here. I think she was actually thinking, "Okay, but what would it be like to go into heat?" It's not written in a very "sexy" way, but it's still a book I'm not going to recommend without at least that caveat.

I think some authors do just write about alien sex in a neutral way, like it's just another worldbuilding thing. That's almost ideal. Sex is just another topic, really, and ultimately I don't think erotic writing is "different" than other writing in a way more significant than writing that elicits one emotion is from writing that elicits another. Monsterfuckers can live in harmony with the people that are just here for the worldbuilding, if you're a decent writer.

However, there are of course some books that go hard on the "ick" factor in doing this and really just try to shock or horrify the reader, or are just clinical and neutral in a way that makes everything extremely gross, and those are 100% worse. I'd HONESTLY rather have a character's experience of something as erotic portrayed well for me, even if it elicits a "nope" for me personally, than read ...something that is just sexual enough to be revolting.

I mean...it's always like, "Is this really overly clinical and neutral, or is my Overton window of horny not in the right place?" And that is not an enjoyable question!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Nobody Left Behind

Prompt: So I don't know if you're taking requests? But I just watched Lilo and Stitch for the first time since I got into TSS and I've adopted the headcanon that it is Remus's *favorite* movie (and he's memorized the script) and I love your writing and I'd love to see something angsty involving Remus feeling lonely/unloved by his brother, and maybe Lilo and Stitch is involved somehow. IDK, go wild. (and feel free to ignore this if you aren't taking requests) <3 - anon

it is Le Fluff™ hours my good bitches

Read on Ao3

Warnings: Remus has some abandonment issues, but it’s not too much

Pairings: it is platonic all the way down, babes

Word Count:  2935

Ohana means family.

 Family.

 FamILY.

 What a weird word.

Sometimes it’s the people you’re born with. Well, not ‘with,’ not necessarily, but the people you are born to. A mother, a father, a sister, a brother. Sometimes two mothers, sometimes two fathers, sometimes a different parent. Sometimes two sisters, sometimes two brothers, sometimes a different sibling. Sometimes a mess of assorted people that all share the same blood. A family.

 Remus wasn’t born.

 He was made though, crafted and shaped and born out of the swirling chaos of a child’s mind that didn’t understand the world well enough without other people to help. He remembers getting cobbled together from scraps of thoughts and feelings and morphing them into limbs, into features, into something that vaguely resembled the body of the child he was made to fit. Not the ‘fitting’ was ever his job.

 Just his brother’s.

 Is his brother his family?

 By all accounts he should be, right? A brother is one of those people that are traditionally part of the ‘family’ group, right, someone to laugh with, cry with, fight with, live with. But is Roman really his…brother?

 That’s what they decided to call themselves because nothing else worked. They weren’t really brothers, they were halves. But they weren’t really halves because there was never a whole to begin with.

 The King wasn’t a ‘whole,’ he was…well, he was the King. Half of a king is not a prince. Half of a king is not a duke.

 Half of a king is a mess of blood and bones and viscera dripping off of the end of a Morningstar in the middle of the night when only a destroyed facsimile makes the insanity bleed away just enough to breathe again.

 The closest thing to twins, is what they decided on eventually. They’re twins. One light, one dark. One that marches boldly into danger to confront the wickedness of the world, one that dwells in the shadows and cackles with the demons nipping at his heels. One that loves, one that isn’t loved.

 Sure, they had some things in common. They both loved to fight, hence the scars and the bruises and the wounds that would never, ever heal, the distrust that would never be fixed ever, because the urge to sink their teeth into each other’s necks and rip never went away. They both loved to make, Roman the peaceful lies he tells himself to make up for the gaping wounds Remus leaves as he carves his perfectly tailored destruction. They both love Disney.

 Roman’s made it part of his whole deal as the Prince, he loves Disney. He bursts into song every chance he gets, drags the others in until the Mindscape rings with joyful song and there’s nowhere left for any sadness or darkness. He takes his lessons from it, models himself using the traits of the characters he admires most. Cultivates his art of storytelling, perfect to a tee.

 Remus loves Disney too. Loves how easy it is to twist the lens to distort the image just enough to let the darker parts of the Imagination run wild. What is the real implication of never growing old, never understanding what it means to die? What kind of person curses a ten-year-old boy for being cautious about who he answers the door to? What could the story have been if the prince never comes to save the day?

 When they were smaller it was fine. When they were still getting used to the fact that they weren’t King anymore, they used to sit and watch so many Disney movies. Roman’s favorite was always changing, one week it was Beauty and the Beast, then it was Mulan, then it was Cinderella, it never stayed the same.

 Remus’s was always Lilo and Stitch.

 Roman never understood it, said it was boring, there wasn’t a prince, there wasn’t anything exciting. Remus said that aliens were plenty exciting, thank you very much.

 But they would always watch it. The King wasn’t there anymore, but the prince and the Duke were.

 …when they were smaller, there was one time where the prince wasn’t there at all.

 Remus remembers waking up one day and feeling like he was being Split all over again. The maggots in his bones reached their awful little mouths into his heart and pulled, yanking him all the way across the bed and to the door, howling and screaming for his twin.

 Only to be met with a blank wall.

 He remembers howling at the top of his lungs until Janus had rushed to his side, kneeling down next to him and telling him shh, be quiet, hush now, you’re alright, you’re not hurt. And when he couldn’t explain that he was hurt, half of him was missing, Remus needed to go find him, Janus’s mouth had hardened into a thin line and told him that there wasn’t anything to worry about.

 He remembers thinking that was a lie.

 But it wasn’t. It wasn’t a lie.

 Roman was fine.

 Roman was more than fine, because Roman had a family.

 Roman had Patton, who is the actual manifestation of sunshine and rainbows and loved so much it almost burns. The darkness that wrapped around Remus’s corner of the Imagination screeched and hissed at the very idea of being loved that much, even as part of him strained with all its might to get to it. But Patton would never set foot near this side of the Mindscape.

 Roman had Logan, who represents everything true about the Mindscape, about Thomas, about the world. The reality of things that would never let anything Remus created make it anywhere close to anything important because it was dangerous, it was hurtful, and it was wrong. Logan wouldn’t want anything to do with something so useless.

 And that was okay. Because Roman may have been gone but Remus wasn’t alone. Remus had Virgil, who lived with fear soaking every fiber of his being. Remus had Janus, who wrapped himself in darkness and obscurity and laughed.

 But then Virgil left. And now Roman had Virgil, who used Thomas’s anxieties to keep him safe, to help Roman and the others figure out what to do, how to take care of everybody, and how to make the darkness go away. And Virgil would never willingly sink himself back into the darkness when he’d spent so long clawing himself out of it.

 But that was okay, because Remus had Janus. Janus, who plotted and schemed and smirked at how easily the others were pulled along by his strings, luring them deeper and deeper as Remus readied his Morningstar for the trap to be sprung.

 But then they sprung the trap and everything went wrong.

 Roman didn’t want to fight. He just…he let Remus knock him out and didn’t show up again except to scoff and say he didn’t like him.

 And that was…wrong.

 Because Roman wasn’t supposed to like him but he was never only supposed to not like him. Roman was supposed to declare that he wasn’t welcome and try and slash him with his sword. Roman was supposed to try and banish him from the Mindscape and spit insults at him until he left, cackling all the while. Roman was supposed to hate him.

 But Roman didn’t hate him, he just…he just said he didn’t like him.

 But that was okay, because Janus could just come up with a better plan with him this time. They could do it properly, and Roman would hate him again and it would be back to normal.

 But then Janus left. And now Roman has Janus, who keeps his eyes where the prince’s aren’t, when he can’t see what’s happening or he can’t bear to look, to help Roman figure out what to do when what seems to be happening isn’t anything that the prince is used to dealing with. And Janus would never willingly step away from a place that finally accepted him.

 Roman has them now. Roman has people that chose him. Roman’s family chose him. He chose them. They chose each other.

 Remus’s grip on his Morningstar slackens and the thing falls to the ground with a heavy clunk. He moves numbly through his room until he can fall to his knees on his bed.

 He just came from the living room. They were all there. Roman was talking with Logan, ranting about some new show they were both watching. Janus was in the kitchen with Patton, making something for dinner that everyone—well, almost everyone—could eat. Virgil was on the back of the couch, reaching out for Roman’s shoulder every once in a while.

Remus had waited behind the couch. For someone to sit down, for someone to see him and shriek, or even maybe—just maybe—for someone to ask where he was.

 But no.

 Patton had come over and gently ruffled Virgil’s hair, saying that dinner was ready. Logan and Roman had moved into the kitchen, demanding Janus’s attention and pulling him into their conversation. Virgil had murmured a quiet thank you and Roman had asked him for what?

 “Y’know,” Virgil had said, “for…this.”

 “Of course,” Roman had laughed, the soft rustle of fabric as he probably pulled the emo in for a hug—what did those feel like?— “I should be thanking you?”

 “What for, kiddo?”

 “I dunno, it just…feels like it’s been forever since we’ve all sat down for dinner together.”

 Remus’s chest had started to hurt.

 “The whole family.”

 The whole family.

 Remus’s eyes well up with stubborn tears and he angrily swipes them away, baring his teeth at the memory and focusing intently on the things on the bed. Each hand-stitched, each carefully kept clean.

 His family.

 He reaches out with a shaking hand and tucks the blue frog plushie into the crook of his arm, crawling into the middle of the bed and balancing the purple spider on his shoulder. His hands keep shaking as he wraps the long yellow snake securely around his neck, clutching the head under his chin and nuzzling it protectively. The dark blue cat he holds in his other hand, careful not to tear its tie as he scrunches in on himself.

 Wait.

 Wait.

 Where is it?

 No, no, no, no—

 Remus growls, placing all of his family gently on the floor before all but tearing at his sheets. Where is it, where is it, where is it—his heartbeat starts to rise as his search grows more frantic, where is it, where is it—

 The slightest little puff of red hair and he howls, lunging for it and sweeping it into his lap. He pauses to make sure the lion’s crown didn’t fall off and sighs when he sees it still in place. He sets the lion between his legs and leans over, adjusting everyone back into place and scrunching himself into a ball again. He rubs his nose against the lion’s fur and nuzzles into the soft fabric.

 He’d never be able to forgive himself if he lost them.

 Because Ohana means family.

 Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

——————————————————

There’s a knock on his door.

 Why is someone knocking on his door?

 They knock again.

 Remus looks up, carefully butting the spider out of the way with his head and sitting up. The snake hangs off his shoulder and he lets it, only missing its warmth once the knock sounds again.

 The frog and the cat watch him warily as he climbs out of bed, the lion clutched in his hand.

 The door squeaks slightly as he opens it.

 “So, I’ve got popcorn, I found the weird gummy snakes, and they had this chocolate-covered bacon which we have to try—Remus?”

 Roman?

 Roman stands there, his arms full of snacks and blankets, his head tilted. He glances behind Remus—probably to check something or other—and then back at him.

 “Remus? Are you okay?”

 “Why are you here?” Roman doesn’t like him.

 “It’s movie night, Re, of course, I’m here.” Roman chuckles nervously before taking in his tear-stained face. “Hey, Re, what’s going on? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

 Why is Roman here? Roman has his family, what is he doing here? With Remus?

 “Remus—“ oh, right, Roman’s talking to him—why is Roman talking to him?—in a soft voice now— “Remus, hey, look at me.”

 Remus blinks. Oh. Roman looks concerned now, he’s reaching for him.

 “Hey,” he murmurs as he ruffles Remus’s hair, “what’s going on? Have you been crying?”

 Remus nods dumbly.

 “I’m sorry, Re, can I help?”

 Help? Why does Roman want to help?

 Oh, he’s waiting for an answer.

 “…sure.”

 “Thank you,” Roman says softly, “can I come in?”

 Remus steps aside wordlessly and Roman walks in, pausing when he sees the rest of Remus’s family on the bed.

 “Did you make them?”

 Something dark twists in Remus’s chest as he sees Roman reach for the spider.

 “Don’t.”

Roman backs off, stepping back as Remus snatches up his family and cradles them in his lap, glaring at Roman and curling up on the bed.

 “I won’t, Re, I’m sorry,” Roman says, still speaking softly, “can I sit?”

 “…floor.”

 Roman sits on the floor, setting aside the blankets and snacks, looking up at him. He still looks concerned. Why? Roman doesn’t like him.

 “Why weren’t you at dinner,” he asks gently, “I was worried.”

 Worried? About him? Remus snorts.

 “You had your whole family there,” he spits, “why would you worry?”

 “But you weren’t there,” Roman says like that makes any difference, “so I was worried.”

 Remus shakes his head. Roman doesn’t get it. Roman doesn’t worry about him, he worries about other things. But if Roman wants to know why he wasn’t at dinner, he’ll tell him.

 “I was with my family.”

 Roman’s brow furrows as he glances around again. “…your family?”

 Remus huddles protectively around his family. “Yes. My family.”

 Roman’s eyes widen as he takes in Remus’s posture and how he reacted when Roman asked about them earlier.

 “…are they your family, Remus?”

 “Yes.” He holds them tighter. “I chose them. They won’t leave me. They won’t forget me. That’s what family means.”

 Something crosses Roman’s face and he lets out a wounded noise. Wait. Are they fighting?

 “Wait, Remus,” he murmurs, rising up to his knees, “did you—did you think we forgot you?”

 “You did forget me.”

 “I’m sorry, Remus, I would’ve come to look for you, but I thought—“ Roman shakes his head— “no, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should’ve come got you, Re, I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean to leave you behind.”

 Oh.

 “…you didn’t?”

 Roman shakes his head furiously. “No, Remus, I promise. I never meant to leave you.”

 “But everybody leaves me.”

 If possible, Roman’s eyes are now wider and he scrambles for the edge of the bed. “What do you mean, Remus, what do you mean everybody leaves you?”

 “You left. Virgil left. Janus left. Everybody left.” The lion’s mane brushes against his lips as he bows his head. “But not them. They won’t leave me.”

 “Oh, Remus—“

 Something big lunges at him and Remus whimpers, he doesn’t have his Morningstar, he doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t—he doesn’t—

 What’s happening? He feels warm and he’s being squished and Roman is pressing himself against him and what—what—

 “What’re you doing?”

 “It’s a hug, Remus,” comes Roman’s voice, slightly muffled, from over his shoulder, “I’m hugging you.”

 Oh.

 Oh.

 “R-Ro?”

 “Yeah, Re, I’m here, I’m right here, I won’t forget you, I won’t leave you behind, you’re my brother, you’re my family, I choose you.” Roman’s grip tightens on him and Remus just about gasps. “I choose you and I want you and I like you.”

 Roman…Roman likes him?

 Roman chooses him?

 Roman won’t…leave?

 “No, Remus,” Roman promises as he cautiously asks, “I won’t leave. Not unless you want me to.”

 “No.”

 “Then I’m not going anywhere.”

 That’s it.

 Remus throws his arms around his twin and sobs, cries an entire ocean of tears into his brother’s shoulder because he’s here and he cares and he chose Remus. The darkness shudders as that small part of him surges forward, into Roman’s chest, finding a home in the prince’s heart and languishing in the warmth there.

 “I’m right here, Re,” Roman murmurs, stroking up and down his back, “right here, I’ve got you.”

 The snake drapes itself cautiously over Roman’s shoulder, the spider taking up watch on his knee. The cat and the frog stare at him, making sure he isn’t lying, that he won’t change his mind. The lion, sandwiched between them, feels the reassuring rumble from Roman’s chest and purrs.

 After a long, long time, Remus pulls back a little and scuffs a hand over his nose.

 “…did you say something about chocolate-covered bacon?”

 Roman’s smile lights up.

 “Let’s put on Lilo and Stitch and we’ll try it.”

 Ohana means family.

 Family means no one gets left behind.

 Or forgotten.

General Taglist:@frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo @cerulean-watermelon @puffed-up-bees

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!