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#<s ee you can block it now !!!!!
watatsumiis · 1 year
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me: i will not get silly and spam my tumblr today. i am capable of handling alcohol.
me, one drink in: WGOAHG WHAT IF IM KTIY????
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mrchaosman · 5 months
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(You entered the old stage in Tenna's mansion).
SHERIFF TIMSTERN: NO.
I.. I CAN'T DO IT.
(Sheriff Timstern noticed Kris).
SHERIFF TIMSTERN: K.. KRIS.
WHAT ARE YA DOIN' HERE, PARTNER.
IT'S NOT SAFE'N HEAR.
I... CAN"T EXPLAIN'N IT NOW, BUDDT.
JUST, LEAVE'N.
(A eerie voice coming out from Timstern's hat).
????: T|M-SSTER-NN-N.
K/LL-LL.
T|-|E-EE-E.
L|GHT/N-ER-ERRRR.
SHERIFF TIMSTERN: I... I..... I......
(A arm comes out from the hat and pulls the string).
SHERIFF TIMSTERN: AGK!!.
Voice Box: THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG-GGG FOR BOTH>BOTH OF US-SSSS.
SHERIFF TIMSTERN:...
...
NO.
I CAN'T LET'N YA TO HARM KRIS.
IF YA WANT'N THAT.
YA HAVE'N TO GO THROUGH ME.
(Suddenly, Timstern's face becomes dark, and a sinister smile grows).
HATNER: F/NA-AA-LLLLY.
FR/EE-EE A|T-TT LA-AA-S-TTT-T-T.
H-H-HOWD/YY-YY, PA|L-LL.
I-I-I BE/EN-NN WAI-WAI-WAIT/TTING F○-OOR TH/I-SSS-SS.
A-AAAF/TT-TTTE|RR A-A-ALL-LL.
Y/Y-YYOU'VVE-EE G/O\TT-TT FR/|EN-DD-D |N M-MM/EEE-EEEE.
(Hatner pulls the string many times).
Voice Box: THERE IS SNAKE IN-IN MY.
(string pulls).
SOMEBODY POISONED THE-EEEEEEEE.
(String pulls).
REACH FOR THE SKY-YYY-YYYY.
HATNER: NO-WW-WW.
YO-OOO-OO/RRR-RRR SO-OO-U/LLL-LL.
YOOOO/-OOOOR-RRR G|OWW-WW|NNG SOOOO-OOOOO/UU-UL.
WWWW-WWW/TT-TTT-HHH I/T.
IIIIII-II CA-NNNN RE/AC-HHHHH T|-|E-EE HE/A-AAAAVEN-NNNNNN.
AAAAAA-AAAN/D FR/EE-EE\DOM-DOM.
(Hatner ties Kris with the String as a rope).
HATNER: NO/OOW-WWWW, PART/NER-RR-RRR.
TH|/SSSSS-SS SH/OW-OW-OW |S
O V E R.
EHEHEHAHAHAHAHWHHAHAHHAHAH.
(Suddenly, Susie came and knock Timstern/Hatner down with Her Rude Buster spell).
Susie: Goddammit Kris, How many Time I have to save you from those Weirdos.
Ralsei: oh, kris, are you OK.
Here.
(Ralsei heals Kris).
Ralsei: Here, how do you feel now, kris.
Susie: I think they better, let get the hell out of here before we face another weirdo.
(The fun gang is about to leave).
(But the exit suddenly gets blocked).
Susie: What The Hell.
(Hatner wake up).
HATNER: WE/LL-LLL-LL
WE/LL-LLL-LL
WE/LL-LLL-LL.
I/II-II SE/E THAA-AAT Y●●●U-UU WA/N-N-NNTTT-TT T|O PL/AY-AYYYYY.
FO/OO-OOLESH-HHH L|GH-HHTTT-T/NER-RRRRS.
(Hatner Attacks You).
(But Suddenly...).
(You Become Green).
HATNER: AGG/GHH-HHHHHHH\HHHHH>>HH.
T|-|E-EEE DAA-AAM/MMN SH/SH/AD-DDO-W M>M>ME-EEENTLLL-LLL-EEE.
TH/A-AAAT'S-SSSS GO/IN-GGG BE-EEE FFF-F-UNNN-NNN.
(The Ground became a stage similar to the wild West, and you and your team are now on horses).
HATNER: WE-EEEE'LL/LL RI-RI/DE-EEEEE T|-|E-EEEE BU||S-SS-S/EYE/EEE-EEE.
Ehehehehahahahahahahwhwhwhhwhw.
(Battle Starts).
YOU'VE GOT FRIEND IN ME
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ssawboness · 2 years
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🥩 STOOP KID // SSAWBONESS 🥩
💾 he/him, wasian jew, trans guy. autism + bpd, may entirely disappear from socmed for extended periods of time. i don't read dnis.
🖇 i enjoy fiction for what it is: fiction. it is not my responsibility for what happens with it, and not only am i able to healthily separate it from real situations but i do not condone ANYTHING that happens in dark fiction irl. this being said, i will most likely be reblogging 'dodgy' content or anything that may ick out the average english fandom-goer (guro, 'problematic pairings', etc). my account is fub free (free to follow/unfollow/block) at your discretion. customize your online experience as you see fit. i am not responsible for your behavior nor do i enjoy conflict any more than the next guy does.
⛓ current active fandom(s)/interests: SAW FRANCHISE, resident evil, homestuck, tf2, criminal behavior and analysis, psychology, character analysis. i love spyscout so fuckingnmuch pleaaaseeeeeuu ee. i enjoy scout ships a normal amount please send me good fics/art
⚙️ artist, rusty animator, writer, and aspiring psychologist. talk to me about psychology and communism.
⚔️ most of my other fandom-centric socials are ssawboness, zorndog, or some variation of those. my commission information can be found here.
⏱ my pms are always open. mutuals can dm me for my discord if we're close-ish. i also offer beta reading to anyone who wants a second opinion on anything
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TAG GUIDE:
#stoop.txt - original-ish posts or quote reblogs. #stoop asks is self-explanatory.
#stoop faves - posts that I circle back to every now and then
#team bastille / #stoop ocs - team bastille is an original blu team that i wrote, and #stoop ocs is a more umbrella termed way of referring to any ocs that i post here; bastille is directly mentioned due to how significant it is to my current interests
#others art - other people's artwork.
i do not have a dni list because those are stupid and embarrassing and i will personally judge you with my holy sword if need be. antis and anyone who supports censorship get the fuck off my blog!!!!. you're still proship if you don't harass people over fiction btw. i love mspec gays and lesbians mwah mwah mwah
i don't trigger warn, and i have anything i need tagged muted. however, if you post about jjba AT ALL or are a jojo-centric blog, do not follow me unless i follow first. do not interact with my work. i will block you on sight. this is for my safety, and i am not comfortable elaborating as to why.
anything else should be self explanatory. please dm me or send me asks i promise i don't bite please please please pl
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onlineproblems · 1 year
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Use Your Words Tag
Stolen from @lisbonsteresa :3
A phrase /quote/ word you find funny: deaer godge (from a post about cats and babies)
Some of your favorite SFW words: uhm of course I can't think of any now. I guess I'm always saying stuff like "Classic." or "For real." Like some kind of catchphrase machine.
Favorite cusses, NSFW or otherwise: i am constantly saying FUCK for different reasons. i won't turn down any handy swear word though.
What language do you speak? I speak English. I have repeatedly started trying to learn different languages including Chichewa (raised in SE Africa for many years), Welsh, French, Spanish, and German. Aside from Chichewa, I have never lived around native speakers and I have ADHD so I never make any headway :( Makes me very sadge
Favorite word (s) in a language other than your first: I like mavuto which means trouble or problems in Chichewa. Bongololo is also a great one, it means millipede. Fun to say.
Movies with subtitles on or off: Always on baby
Book you’ve read/listened to the most times? Hmm I have a hard time re-reading things but I have read The Hobbit a lot since I was a kid.
Do you listen to songs in languages you don’t understand? Definitely
Do you express yourself best with words, images or something else? Well hm. I'm thinking of it this way. If I have to talk about something difficult with someone, it's way easier to write it down than to try to force words out of my mouth. I have a mental block when I try to physically talk. But the words just come out of me when I'm writing. Not exactly what this question is, I think, but o wel.
Do you talk more or less when you’re nervous? It depends I guess. I can recall times when I babbled and wished I would shut up, and times when I became a stone.
How do you pronounce February? FEH-bro-wear-ee
What kind of accent do you have? good ol midwestern US. Get in yer core and drive. Do you want a drink of worter. Etc.
If you literally had to “eat your words,” how would they taste? I hope they would taste like either Takis or peppermint bark ice cream because that's what I'm craving right now.
I'm tagging anybody who sees this and wants to participate :3
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the-firebird69 · 1 year
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And you return just as knowing as you are in person you're laughing because it's coming from Beaumont they're going to beat the s*** out of you I think it's funny
Zues Hera
You are more locked are getting creamed it's not many of you left in the perimeters in other areas and you're getting up now and you're leaving be soon to be this ultramanority running around laughing at people in their misery and you're going to get this s*** kicked out of you it started today this morning when you assholes in the clones both block traffic on it call detention to the holes and that was already on it it's going after you and there's a huge fight there and Max are pouring in and they're decimating both of you soon foreigners are going in and you morlok will be out.
Thor Freya
It's true as we're not stopping at all and a lot of us won't and it's like most of us won't no the clothes are going to do everything they can to stop people and they'll be out and I'll be gone
Tommy f
We won't stop either ee tell people that and we noticed something it's probably going to be the end
Bja
I was saying that last night and we've been saying it for a week we rush into something will probably be gone and we're rushing into it and it's irresponsible behavior and nobody likes it and the clones are doing it and people have to because of them and now Mac is there so the rest of us have to go in there to stop Mac
Jenna
We have to stop Mac this is a repetitive business but this is what's going on
Wie Chan lynn
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someone1348 · 3 years
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This duo request was fromm @blobblobbloblob
People in this: Switch!Tommy, Switch!Ranboo
(PLATONIC ONLYYYYY!!)
Tw: cursing
With all that being said enjoyyyy!! :]
___________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~______________
Ender Tricks
Ranboo had been feeling confident, sassy, to say the least, mischievous! He wanted to poke fun at people and cause a bit of chaos
So he went out on the hunt to find people to mess around with. He talked to Phil, Laughed with Techno, and that was great but it wasn't fulfilling his mood, the more he thought about what was going on with him the more the feeling grew
A ler mood, he smirked to himself, this was a rare kind of feeling but oh boy did he love these days when he could feel ler. No wonder talking to Phil and Tech didn't help he needed a lee or at least a lee lean.
Normally he would just go tickle the crap out of Tubbo but his body disagreed, no he needed to wreck someone else, he could wreck Tubbo later if this mood sticks throughout the day
He pondered the thought his smirk growing, Tommy!
The two had gotten closer as of recently and unknown to the blonde Ranboo had learned all of his tickle spots already from his platonic husband Tubbo, they share a death spot which really helped in times like this.
He searched for the disc lover spotting him by prime path
"Target acquired!" The enderman hybrid whispered to himself teleporting behind the said blonde squeezing his sides before teleporting away.
"AH- w-What the fuhuck?!" Tommy covered his mouth in embarrassment looking around for the known culprit
Ranboo smirked behind a tree and when the cost was clear he did it again this time skitering quickly under his arms
"AHAH- raha- ranboo!!!!" Tommy rang out in a fit of giggly rage almost dropping his axe
Ranboo covered his mouth behind the tree waiting again to strike. Tommy sighed and kept walking as lingering lee mood took over his senses with every strike
Ranboo smirked striking his ribs before going back, Tommy shrieked before falling down to the grass
Clutching his ribs giggling as the feeling of a lee mood took over everything he completely forgot why he was out here in the first place.
A shadow blocked the sun sending some shade to Tommy's figure, looking up at the smirking ender hybrid Tommy waved
"Hello Ranboo"
"Hey Tommy"
There was a bit of scilence as Tommy looked away, Ranboo laughed looming more over him
"You want to tell me what mood you're in buddy?"
Tommy squinted up at the figure crossing his arms "now Ranboo i don't know what you're talking about"
Ranboo lowly chuckled sitting down by Tommy smirking as he spoke "i can see it all over your face if you want tickles all you gotta do is ask" he poked Tommy's side to indicate his intentions
"Oh you're evilll"
Ranboo just kept smirking, whistling while he wiggled his fingers at the youngest acting like he wasn’t doing anything
"Ranbooo!" Tommy whined as Ranboo laughed stopping and looking at him, "Three words Tommy its eassyyy"
Tommy refused, he's a big man! He doesn't ever want to give into anyone's games esspesssily! Not Ranboo's,
Ranboo used that to his advantage as he teased the kid a bit more "Alright i guess you don't want to be tickled i guess I'll be offf" Ranboo teleported away as Tommy whined sitting up
"Ranboo wait!" He waited but there was no response, he was gone, Sitting alone in the grass he sighed before two tickly hands gripped his sides from behind tickling up and down from his sides to his ribs and back down
"Gotcha!!!" The taller of the two said the smirk clear in his voice as Tommy bursted out into a ball full of giggles falling backwards onto Ranboo's chest
"NAHAhahAHA! RANBOO!" Tommy squirmed his face dusted with a light pink from the surprise and embarrassment
"Hehe thought I'd leave my second favorite lee in the dust like that without tickling him to peices yeah i don't think so!" Ranboo smiled going up to his underarms,
"AYEHEHEHE! Sehehecond?!" Tommy questioned in giggles as Ranboo laughed a bit
"Yeah, Tubbo's number one, sorry pal, get Ranboozled!" He blew a raspberry onto the blondes neck as Tommy pushed at his split dyed head,
"AhAhaWahay!! From thehehere!!" Tommy fell limp to the tickles not fighting it anymore as Ranboo teasingly whispered
"Oh? Not there?~ so should i go for my favorite spot then" he wiggled his fingers teasingly above Tommy's stomach
"Nonononono!" Tommy's protests were nothing in Ranboo's ears as he smirked wiggling all ten fingers into his stomach taking a deep breath going close to Tommy's ear "Tickletickletickletickle Tktktktktktktk~"
"NAHAHAHAHA FUHUHUCK RAHAHAHANBOHOHOO!!"
Ranboo giggled evily "what's this button doo~" he tickled his bellybutton as Tommy went into hysteria not even making coherent sentences anymore
"RAHAHAHANBOHOHOO PLEA- HAHAHAHA SHHEJEHEGHS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAHAHA TIHIHICKLES IHIHIHIHIT!!-"
Ranboo laughed loudly, stopping before rubbing away the ghost tickles
"Oh whahat you think that was funny?!"
"W-well yeah"
Tommy smirked tackling the ender hybrid to the ground tickling his stomach immediately
"TOHOHOHOMYYY!!" Ranboo laughed out squirming from side to side
"Ticklish there aye Ranboo?~" Tommy smirked teasing him a bit
"PLEAHAHAHASE"
"Okahay okay!" Tommy giggled moving to his sides,
"EEP! wAIhihiAT i-Ee!!" Ranboo covered his face in his hands the ticklish sensations sending tickly Shockwaves all over his body
"WhAHat was that!!" Tommy said stopping
Ranboo blushed harder from the embarrassment "m-my white side is more ticklish then my black side so tickling my s-sides is well, an experience to say the least"
Tommy smirked "thanks for the info big man!" He immediately went to squeezing and tickling alll up and down his white side as the taller yelled
"AHJHA! TOMMYY!" the giggles were pouring out of his mouth as he pushed lightly at his tickly fingers
"Karma ender boy! Haha!!" Tommy tickled from his underarms to his ribs and back around to his sides
Ranboo made a bunch of enderman sounds mixed in with his laughter and squeals
"Okay okay oneee more thing!" Tommy took a deep breath before blowing a raspberry directly in the center of his stomach above his bellybutton
"TOHOHOHOMYYY!!!"
Tommy giggled stopping, helping ranboo up and rubbing the ghost tickles away.
"It seems we all share a death spot" Tommy said smirking a bit
"It seems we do"
Tommy smirked at ranboo before running off in the direction of were Tubbo would be
"He's MINE! HA HA!!!"
"HE'S MY PLATONIC HUSBAND!?!" Ranboo said chasing after him both on their way to wreck their favorite bee boy
--------------------------------------------------
I hope you all enjoyedd!!! :]
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kakubun · 4 years
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Can you do seijoh and nekoma with a manger that is a voice actor for a lot of popular games and anime’s
teams: seijoh x gen!reader, nekoma x gen!reader 
hell yea, i actually had this in my list, thanks for actually making me do it
(i’ve made up the games and anime in here, please cope with me) 
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Seijoh
“willow’s hot” matsukawa blurted out and hanamaki burst out laughing but later agreed 
these two pals would have a lot of merch of ‘Willow’, a character that had an alluring aura with a voice to fit their cryptic attitude built with an hourglass figure
you gulped, feeling shy that hanamaki and matsukawa were talking about the character you voiced in ‘Genius!’, a mystery game with a lot of action 
every guy on the block would talk about ‘River’, the mythical creature that stumble on her words with her little hat slipping off her head or ‘Ray’, the gal who would scold the protagonist for being an idiot (for the masochistic men)
you sweat when you remember, the new chapter you voiced in the game had Willow helping or in other words seducing the protagonist that was supposed to be doing their task 
both of them found out that you also knew Genius! when your profile was Willow that was because it was more easier for your boss to decipher which voice actor is which when voice acting on call since you really can’t go to the studio all the time 
you could hear the boys talking about Willow whenever on break but you adored your older co worker who voice acted ‘Elois’ who was a technician that was most likely going to get killed off but you adored his voice, the way he could pitch his voice to a shrilly female to a obnoxious kid 
you can’t tell me otherwise kindaichi and yahaba adores River because of her 'character design' and 'powers' (no, she just reminds them of you)
watari didn’t really have that much knowledge of the game but kunimi tried showing him more of the game, kunimi wouldn’t have a favourite yet he would just wait
he’s waiting for a perfect someone to be his favourite 
all the third years are simping for Willow, they’re just so mysterious, oikawa loved making theories about each one of them and which would be killed off next 
oikawa: my theory is that Willow’s gonna be the next to die-”
makki and mattsun: hah no
kyoutani would also love Willow because he can be a horndog- because they’re really cool to him and leaves a lot of prizes
you felt so giggly one day when everyone was freaking about the last chapter because Willow got injured and they were groaning of how much pain they were in and the chapter left on a cliffhanger 
so you decided to not prevent chaos but be the source of chaos 
y/n: y’know i’m the voice actor of Willow 
oikawa: hehe y/n, you’re really funny~ 
y/n: really now babe? be a good boy and believe me~
the third years froze and here’s how it went down 
oikawa: s c re   ee  e  a  aa a   m mm
iwaizumi: *turns really pink and is in shock from how you could get in character so quick* 
hanamaki: *faints* 
matsukawa: *in shock*
you sounded so much like Willow, how would they not believe you????
your pure gremlin giggles did not match the sultry voice you did seconds ago 
Nekoma
starting right off, kenma would love the creatures in ‘Date Me’ especially the yellow blob named Octagon  that would follow the protagonist around 
Date Me is basically a game like DDLC but it’s a romance otome game turned dark, it was a mix of action as well and mystery, kenma really liked making theories about it 
but kuroo preferred the anime adaption where it really fcked up with its adaption and it’s nothing serious like the game
he loved this one character named ‘Ace’ that never took things seriously and strangely was a fan of boars, they had a boar hat as well (kinda like inosuke) 
kuroo preferred to keep things light and not see his favourite character die
you voiced Ace in the anime and voiced Octagon in the game 
yaku loves the game but is kinda terrified on how quick it goes really dark 
kai won’t be that interested but he loved the character designs
yamamoto loved every girl in the game, from narcissistic, smug to quivering, shy ones, he loved both game and anime
fukunaga relates to blue blob named ‘Cirlce’ since there was a specific line on where it complains about not getting enough attention 
inuoka also loves Octagon and shares his opinions with kenma 
shibayama would be confused that there was a game before the anime 
lev would just be interested in either and love the cute designs of the characters 
tamahiko is clueless
kenma would randomly hear you ‘imitating’ Octagon’s lines, you looked weird.. but not in a mean way he means it, it looked so funny seeing you recite lines while accidently hurting yourself or dropping something
Octagon’s voice was high pitched and when you said a line in the same pitch, he let out a small giggle
y/n: what’s wrong??
kenma: you sound like Octagon~ 
y/n: cause i am octagon, howdy kenma!!
kenma: *in shock*
yamamoto: holy sht y/n! you’re Octagon??!” 
y/n: yeah and i’m also Ace, you got a problem with that??!?”
you pointed at kuroo who stared at you in awe and he nearly choked on his water when you rolled on the ground laughing like a madman
yall bond with them with your voice acting skills and inuoka and lev joined in as well 
bye, i’m tired but i kinda enjoyed this as well :DD
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garbage-eater144 · 3 years
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THE WARFSTACE AUTOMATED INTERVIEW CAPTIONS
i was chattin in the discord and some people said it was tough to understand some bits, obviouslt this is made by a fan (me) so it might have a couple errors here and there but ive checked through it quite a few times and it seems about as right as i can get it.
so !!SPOILERS AHEAD!! also @markiplier feel free to correct me if you see this thank u <3 The warfstache automated interview
Starting video captions
[Wilford] Well, that’s terrifying… one moment!
{mechanical whirring}
[Wilford] (frightened sound) marginally better… er worse… better? Worse. It’s much worse.
{mechanical whirring}
[Wilford] Ah! there we are. Welcome, pretend I remembered your name here, this is a pre-recorded message anyway, I would NOT want to be in the same building as that thing I tell you me. Anyway, thank you whoever you are for agreeing to test out the Warfstache automated interview automaton, or {yelling} WAIA for short. Let’s start off with some quick calibration. All you need to do is sit back, relax and listen for some numbers. Okay? Here we go.
[WAIA]- (phone dialing, dialup tone, windows error sound)
[WAIA]- (scary mechanical garbled noises, followed by a ding and celebratory trumpets.)
[wilford]- now what did you hear? Numbers? Good numbers. Keep in mind I have no idea what youre going to say due to the fact that, as I said before, this message is pre-recorded. But if you did hear something, now would be the time to speak up.
[wilford]- don’t be shy, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. I don’t know what you’re going to say but if it does happen it will happen and if it doesn’t happen it wont happen. Thats how deterministic reality works.
I Think I Heard Numbers!
[wilford] Thats great! Or bad, not really sure what you said, but I choose to remain positive and assume that you are still alive. which means our automated friend here is operating well within acceptable murder parameters. We’re one step closer to mass production! THE WORLD DEMANDS MORE INTERVIEWS! And I cant be everywhere at once all the time, only some of the time! Even you might land an interview some day! Maybe, probably not, depends on how these next few minutes go. On to the next test! Word association! The fundamental basis of any good interview is getting the goods out of those stubborn interview-ees. The WAIA will say a word and you just say back the first thing that pops into your little head! Simple! Right? probably. Good luck!
{mechanical whirring}
[WAIA]- initializing word association training protocol round 1
{scary mechanincal noises} [WAIA]- Please respond. [WAIA] Sorry, I didnt get that. Round 2. {yet more scary mechanical noise}
[WAIA]- please respond.
[WAIA]- response unclear, increasing aggression
{clicking and mechanical sounds}
[WAIA]- round 3. {increasingly threatening mechanical noise} [WAIA]- Please respond.
[WAIA]-5 [WAIA]-4 [WAIA]-3 [WAIA]-2
Sounded like nightmare garbage to me…
[WAIA]- {mechanical ah?} {clicking}
[Wilford]- oh I forgot to mention, please do not say the word nightmare, or uh garbage, or nightmare garbage, or any combination of those words, the WAIA is just a little bit sensitive Yknow, a little touchy feely. Well not really touchy feely.. we-well actually REALLY touchy feely depending on your definition of touch and feely. Its really gonna-
[WAIA]- {jumpscare sounds} [WAIA] I. tell. you. me.
But you didn’t say anything…
[WAIA]- 1
[WAIA]-response unclear. Increasing aggression.
{ding sound effect} [WAIA]- {jumpscare noise}
[WAIA]- it. was. an. accident.
Uh… potato salad?
[WAIA]- 1
[WAIA]- response accepted
{ding followed by triumphant trumpets}
[WAIA]- word association raining protocol compl-{mechanical freakout eeeeeete}
[Wilford]- most dearest next of kin, I regret to inform you, that your dearly beloved and/or most despised has regrettably but not unexpectedly become recently deceased in the line of duty. Be confident in the knowledge that their demise was just as likely to be quick and painless as it was slow and agonizing. Please do not respond to this voicemail as the number has already been disconnected. {clears throat} alright that should do it for the… death scenario, now onto ah, er, uh, the survivors {mumbling}. Wow! Potato salad. A real thinker, you. But the test has been passed with flying colors and you’re still alive! And speaking of flying colors, our next test is about something called, uh… synthetic linguistics? That sounds made up. but the point is you cant have a good interview is the WAIA isn’t able to conjure up the right words in the right situations. So our friend is going to fire off some random words and you just try to spot anything that doesn’t make any sense. Alright? Although, pretty much everything isn’t going to make sense because its all random words….. errrr I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! {mechanical sounds}
[WAIA]- initializing speech training protocol round 1.
[WAIA]- yes. no. maybe. left. right. Up. down. D o w n. B a s e m e n t.
{windows error tone} [WAIA]- Rewrite Detected {tape rewinding sound}
[WAIA]- who. Where. what. Am. i.
{windows error tone}
{tape rewinding sound}
[WAIA]- green. blue. Yellow. pink. Red.
{scary mechanical noise}
[WAIA]- I saw you die
[WAIA]-{error, but garbled and mechanical}
[WAIA]- {with a different voice} potato salad
[WAIA]- speech training protocol complete
{mechanical noises}
[Wilford]- so how’d it go?? Did you hear anything weird? Dont be shy, or do, or are- are you alive? Are they alive?
[wilford]- I didnt kill them! I dont know if theyre dead! im just asking!!! Cant a man ask if someones alive or dead?!?! {frustrated ugh}
Yeah, I’m dead.
[Wilford]- hellooooo are you alive down there? Give me a sign… through the multiverse!!! Ah why am I even bothering, but how can I tell if you’re dead… hmmm ah…. I’ll flip a coin! I’ll flip a coin..
{coin flip sounds} [Wilford]- ah! Its heads I didn’t call it in the air… what’s heads mean.. ahhh uhhh heads is dead? [WAIA]-{jumscare noises}
[WAIA]- theres. still. time.
He said… potato salad?
[Wilford]- huh, potato salad again. That’s weird, it must’ve really stuck in his head when you first said that, I’m guessing. I don’t know what you said before because as I said, this is {sing-songy} pre- recorded! [WAIA] {mechanical aaaa}
[wilford] er, well I think thats all the calibration that needs to be done… for now anyway. All systems are likely nominal at this point unless im speaking to a pile of quivering meat thats been robotically smooshed into the floor… either way we’re gonna take this bad boy for a spin with a full on interview! A mock interview mind you, don’t get too excited, it’s not real. But theres no reason to wait around for the WAIA to get bored so let’s keep it nice and limber while you sit back and get ready for the interview of your life! And maybe the last one too. Have fun!!
{mechanical clicking and whirring}
{newsroom music} [WAIA]- good evening ladies and gentle men and all other considerations of being. My name is wilford warfstache and my guest tonight is {spooky robot sound} we have a great show for you tonight. first question: how many people have you killed? [WAIA]- good answer! Second question:
{robot sounds}
[WAIA]- a man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. There, two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I didn’t know. Was it my fault?
YES
[WAIA]- ah, sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t remember who I was, I wish I did. But, I am sorry.
[WAIA]- potato salad
{triumphant trumpets}
[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye
[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.
{mechanical clicking}
NO
[WAIA]- you can’t change the past, you can tell all the stories you want to tell, it wont change what happened. You cant re-light the past. if you live in fantasy forever, you’ll lose yourself in the story.
[WAIA]- potato salad
{triumphant trumpets}
[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye
[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic, I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.
{mechanical clicking}
158 notes · View notes
fettsvette · 3 years
Text
Heat
Boba Fett takes you on a faraway hunt that involves a prolonged journey through hyperspace. You’re horny as fuck, but your man is too preoccupied with running a tight ship to pay you any mind - until things get a little too desperate.
Pairing: Boba Fett x Reader Words: 3.0k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Edgeplay, teasing, rough penetration
Can be found on Archive of Our Own here.
Mando’a terminology
�� ad’ika - little one
cyare - beloved
  mesh’la - beautiful
  -
  Another whine. 
  Another stomp of a boot. 
  Still no relief in sight. 
  You could be dying, and he wouldn’t even look at you. 
  “You need to settle down, ad’ika . I don’t have time for this right now.” Boba Fett warned sternly, his helmet just barely twitching to the side to regard you as you paced the cockpit, your footfalls having become increasingly louder and more obnoxious as time dragged on.
  The journey through hyperspace had lasted several hours already, and it was projected to go on for many more; and that’s if your flight plan continued on ahead of schedule. Why exactly Boba had felt the need to pursue a job all the way out in Wild Space, you had no idea. It was an average bounty, one that you frankly considered beneath his talents, but perhaps that was why he determined it had been safe enough to bring you along for the ride for once. Not that you really saw the point in your presence anyway; the thought of going on an adventure with your beau had thrilled you at first, thinking that the days would be filled with exploring strange, distant worlds together, the nights consisting of passionate lovemaking for hours on end. Instead, what you were getting was a whole lot of sitting around, staring out the viewport at the blue and white streaks of stars passing you by. The prospect of traveling at lightspeed had seemed exciting, but you truly hadn’t realized just how boring it actually was until you were stuck in the middle of it.
  Especially when the man you were on this sojourn with was much too preoccupied with fine-tuning every gadget and system aboard his prized transport, obsessively tracking the ship’s progress across the galaxy, rather than keeping his cyar’ika entertained.
  You couldn’t recall the amount of times your lover had told you to sit down, to be quiet, to climb up to your shared sleeping quarters behind the cockpit and take a nap to pass the time. He’d even threatened to lock you in one of the cages reserved for his hard merchandise down in the cargo hold until the Slave I reached its destination, but swiftly backpedaled when you expressed a little too much excitement at the idea. 
  You were desperate for Boba Fett’s touch, for his hand on your thigh, his lips on your neck, his thigh in between your knees, something - and he was purposefully ignoring you. No, he wasn’t just ignoring you… he was torturing you.
  It’d been days since Boba had touched you. He wasn’t even coming to bed with you, as far as you knew - when you’d retire for the night, he’d still be sitting in his pilot’s chair, motionless saved for his gloved hands running across the Slave I ’s dashboard, occasionally pressing a button or typing in some incomprehensible command. You’d wait up as long as your body allowed for the feeling of Boba sliding into the cot next to you, a well-muscled arm encircling your waist, his bare chest against your back, the outline of his thick cock pressed against your ass, but it never came. You’d arise hours later and descend the ladder to find him in the same spot you’d left him, or tinkering about down in the cargo hold, polishing one of his many blasters.
  The sight of him running a dirty, oiled cloth over the stock of the EE-3 model that had become his personal calling card, the blaster grease coating his rough hands, was enough to drive you wild, make you wish he was dragging the fabric back and forth between your legs instead. Hell, everything he did nowadays made you horny, from palming the thrusters in the cockpit upon exiting or entering lightspeed - ‘the only thruster he should be palming is this one right here,’ you found yourself thinking more often than not - to just seeing those large, powerful hands of his anywhere near the hard expanse of his thighs.
  You didn’t just feel aroused, or even simply sexually frustrated - you felt as if you were in heat , like some kind of debased animal left to rut against its master’s leg until it’s been kicked away. You wanted nothing more than to climb up on the console in front of the pilot’s seat and ruck your panties to the side, spreading your legs wide so he could see just how soaked you were for him, beg him to fuck you - or at the very least, bring you to some sort of release with a calloused finger or that deft tongue of his. You’d refrained from pleasuring yourself for the entirety of the trip so far solely so you’d be more than ready for him when he finally decided to claim you, but now you doubted if that time was ever coming. 
  “Boba, please. I’m suffering over here, and you’re just sitting there -” You began again in a high-pitched whine, not caring just how pathetic and needy you must sound. You could have begun weeping in frustration right then and there, had actually considered dropping to your knees in front of your lover, groveling at his boots for even just one touch. The ache between your legs was becoming more and more unbearable with the passing of each Standard Time Unit, to the point where sometimes you felt as if you were going to cum in your pants solely from walking around too much or positioning yourself in a chair a certain way, bringing yourself to a release from pent-up friction alone.
  But it was your accusation of Boba just sitting there that finally elicited a response, after days of being brushed off and outright ignored. His head jerked up with almost blinding speed, and he swiveled the pilot’s chair around to face you, his visor cocked to one side. His large hands gripped his knees tightly, his knuckles standing out sharply against the black leather of his gloves, his legs wide open. His cock was buried beneath several layers of the heavy black fabric that constituted his kama , but you swore you could still make out an impressive bulge nestled there in the lighting, and your mouth watered eagerly at the thought of him finally allowing you to take him in your mouth after so long, to feel his deliciously veiny member seated between your cunt lips.
  “I’m not ‘just sitting here .’ This ship is like an extension of myself. It’s as important to me as you are. I don’t expect you to understand that, but I need you to respect it. Hyperspace can be very unstable. Our coordinates and support systems need to be constantly monitored if we’re to spend this long a time at lightspeed, but now I see comprehending that is beyond your capabilities. Perhaps bringing you with me was a mistake, if you’re going to carry on like a selfish little brat for the remainder of our journey.” Boba retorted gruffly, shaking his head as if just speaking to you sickened him. His words felt like a slap across the face, and the corners of your eyes prickled harshly.
  You felt tears trickling silently down your cheeks, your face flushed hotly with the shame of not only being reprimanded by the man you loved, but the fact that despite his harshness towards you, you were fucking wet . You could feel the sticky warmth of your own arousal trickling out from between your inner lips and gathering in the cradle of your panties, soaking the thin fabric through. The fact that this man could berate you, insult you, and still you wanted nothing more than to throw yourself at him, beg his forgiveness, impale yourself on his girth over and over again until he filled you with his seed, was making you even hornier than you thought possible. Boba Fett had complete domination over every aspect of you, and it turned you on more than you could ever admit.
  “Boba… please . I’m sorry, I just… I need you so fucking bad.” You choked out, your voice nasally and piteous through your tears, your knees slightly buckling inwards in a half-assed attempt to stop the flow of wetness drooling out from your core. Boba gave a low hum and reclined back in his chair, his legs outspread even wider as he repositioned himself against the leather backing, seeming cruelly satisfied with the state he’d left you in.
  “Look at you. Are you actually weeping because you want my cock that badly?” Boba clucked his tongue disgustedly, but you could have sworn that he almost sounded in awe despite his tone. Your eyes flickered downwards when you noticed a slight movement of his hand, just in time to see him briefly squeeze at his obscured length, and you let out a throaty moan despite yourself. With a thinly veiled snort of amusement, Boba gestured in the general direction of your bowed, shaking legs, then raised his palm upwards, calling you forward with a quick movement of his fingers.
  “Take those off and get over here, girl.”
  You’d never shucked off your boots so fast in your life. You didn’t even bother untying the laces, hurriedly hopping from one foot to the next, pulling your feet from the restricting, clunky material in order to wiggle out of your pants and underwear as quickly as you could, panting and whining high in your throat in your excitement. You flung the garments off to the side, almost stumbling in your rush to get to Boba, and immediately reached out to grope for the seam of his trousers, beside yourself in your urge to free his heavy cock from its cloth prison. You were blocked by a firm, warm hand pressed flush against your chest, blunt fingers pressed into your breast and holding you back. Boba was chuckling at your need, a rumble that emanated from deep in his chest. The sound always went straight to your pussy whenever you heard it, so rough and sultry, and your clit throbbed.
  “Oh no , sweet thing. Don’t think your tears are going to get you exactly what you want. Like I said, I’m busy. If you’re that desperate to get some relief, you’ll have to work for it yourself. I’m not going to help you.” The sick glee in the bounty hunter’s voice was evident, and he aggressively patted his meaty thigh in order to show you exactly what he meant, when he’d offered to finally let you have what you desired. Boba made no move to get up or further adjust his stance, holding his palm open and again broadly gesturing to his outstretched leg, as if grandly offering you the best seat in the house in a Coruscanti opera. From the way your cunt was fluttering helplessly though, it may as well have been your throne .
  Shuffling forward and squatting daintily, you gingerly settled yourself onto the muscular sweep of Boba’s thigh beneath you, hissing sharply as the rough cloth pressed into the sensitive nub of your clit, wiggling the cradle of your pelvis back and forth experimentally to gauge what felt best. Boba gave no notice of your ministrations, he wasn’t even looking at you, and you glanced up to see that he had actually gone back to fiddling with the console of the Slave I as if you weren’t even there, as if your cunt juices weren’t currently soaking through the heavy fabric of his pants.
  And so you began to move.
  Gently at first, you writhed your pussy every which way in order to discover some semblance of balance, letting out pleased whimpers as your body gradually warmed to the sensation of your folds dragging along the black flight suit. Boba’s arms were outstretched on either side of you and you could hear him pressing buttons and occasionally typing in commands, completely ignoring the fact that you were currently rutting on his leg like an akk dog during mating season. His body betrayed his supposed indifference, though - with every thrust of your hips, your knee bumped his groin and you tellingly felt the generous erection sitting there, warm and heavy and hard. You attempted to reach out and grasp it, stroke him through his pants in time with the grinding of your cunt, but Boba batted your hand away as if you were a child being reprimanded for touching a hot nanowave stove.
  You continued to knead Boba’s thigh with your pussy, undulating your heat in stuttering figure-eight motions, a familiar tightness beginning to build in your lower belly, the scrape of the material against your swollen clit becoming overwhelming all too soon for your liking. Underneath your own needy whines as the sensation continued towards its crescendo, you could hear Boba groaning from somewhere deep in his chest despite his best efforts to ignore you and your lewd ministrations in his lap. 
  Your orgasm hit unexpectedly, triggered by an accidental bump of the edge of his thick leather belt to the hood of your clit, and you let out a guttural moan that sounded more animal than human. Days of pent-up release crested over you like the sand waves of Tatooine’s Dune Sea, over and over again, and your thighs trembled around Boba’s leg as your muscles clenched him. Your lover groaned appreciatively above you, one of the few signs he’d given to show that he was paying attention to your movements. You knew he could feel the flood of wetness from between your legs soaking into his flight suit, possibly through to his bare skin beneath, and that thought alone prompted another volley of spasms to your clit until you were utterly spent.
  Your breath came in harsh, almost painful pants, your legs shaking violently as you continued to hold yourself up, your bare toes biting into the durasteel floor of the Slave I beneath you. Boba sighed contentedly above you, the underside of his helmet nipping at the crown of your hair, one strong arm finally looped around your back, bracing you against his chest. You collapsed forward on the reassuring coolness of his breastplate, laying your sweaty cheek against the cold beskar as you shivered through the aftershocks of your orgasm. The relief you felt, after so long, was indescribable. You could have fallen asleep there in that moment, nude from the waist down, straddling Boba Fett’s thigh in the cockpit of his ship, drowsy on the rush of endorphins still flooding through your body. In your relaxed state, it took you a moment to realize that Boba had begun speaking, and you cracked an eye open as the gravity of his words hit you.
  “Kriff, you’re so wet, so beautiful for me. Are you ready, cyare?” He cooed sweetly, and before you could even question what you were ready for, Boba pushed you upwards slightly with his legs and his hold on you momentarily faltered, the sound of fabric being shuffled about filling the room. You then knew what he was up to and began hyperventilating in anticipation, wiggling your bottom as the Mandalorian worked himself into position beneath you.
  Boba pushed inside of you roughly, and you let out a choked scream, biting down on the swaths of black material circling his throat. Even though you had already cum, had been constantly horny for days, you still weren’t prepared for the sudden intrusion of Boba’s girth into your cunt, your walls spasming around him violently, the sensations too much for your overstimulated body to handle. Boba shushed you softly as you let out several overwhelmed sobs at the burning, stinging presence inside of you. You could feel the blunt head of him pressing against your cervix, an almost unbearable sharpness that you craved despite the discomfort. You knew you’d be able to feel him there for days after, and a pleasant shudder wracked your body.
  “Easy there, little one, easy . I’ve got you. Just stay still, mesh’la .” Boba attempted to shush you, patting your back and readjusting his hold on you as you squirmed and gasped in his arms, but you couldn’t stay still if you tried. You attempted to push your hips against his, get some semblance of a rhythm going, but Boba tsk ed, the light pressure he’d had on your waist becoming an iron grip, almost to the point of pain, and you stilled your movements, whining in protest.
  “Boba, please … I need to move …” You begged plaintively, tears once again springing to your eyes The laugh you received in response was almost sadistic in sound, and you moaned out of a raw mixture of pain and pleasure when Boba gave a slight roll of his hips, the head of his cock scraping your cervix. When he spoke, his tone was almost delightfully evil, and it made you shudder under his hold.
  “Oh no , sweet one. You’ve been such an annoyance to me for the entirety of our journey, and as I said before… I’m busy, and after the way you’ve behaved, I’m not going to let you get what you want that easily. Letting you get yourself off on my thigh was just a tease.” His gloved fingers lazily crawled over your exposed clit, and you hissed at the brief contact, before it was excruciatingly pulled away, Fett’s hand reaching back up to the Slave ’s console again.
  “You’re going to sit here on my cock until our next jump point, understand? Nice and quiet, now. If you try to push yourself down on me or wiggle around like a little brat, you’ll be banished to our sleeping quarters until we land, or until you learn to behave like someone your age. Is that clear, cyare?” His voice was sickly sweet, menacing, low and raspy in his throat. You could tell by that alone just how turned on he was, and his length twitched inside of you.
  Without waiting for a verbal answer, Boba gave another painfully slow roll of his hips, igniting that fire within your belly once more, and you groaned aloud in reply, burying your face in the dark cloth protecting his neck, choosing to ignore the dark chuckle. He could be so unfair, so karking cruel at times, but you always found yourself coming back for more… and you had a feeling he had no idea how much you were actually enjoying this.
  It was going to be a long trip.
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leapyearkisses · 3 years
Note
For the director's cut: Could you do Nice Work If You Can Get It? (Eliseo/Padgett)
That fic... Changed me. I'll never forget it TBH.
Yes, I'd be happy to! This one was really fun to write, and it was the beginning of two OCs I am very fond of now (and who I am happy to know made an impression on quite a few people!).
(If anyone enjoys this director's cut thing and wants to see one for another of my stories, ask away. I had a lot of fun!)
Commentary in bold below the cut! NSFW, mess, deliberately sneezing on people, m/m
This story started from a prompt about one character hiring someone to get them sick. An intriguing idea!! But it was one I actually struggled with finding a groove for when I started out. I actually started a few different scenarios with different character dynamics before I figured this one out. I have a 2600-word WIP of a different version of this in my "unfinished" folder.
"All right... close your eyes." Eliseo swallowed and did so, blocking out his bedroom, the red-gold sunset light pouring in from the windows, and Padgett, who was straddling his hips. He could still hear, quite easily, the other man's labored breathing and feel the heat of his thighs... and his crotch. Eliseo was under no illusion that he was in an incredibly compromising position at the moment. He hadn't thought much about the.. particulars when he'd first decided to strike this deal. "Are we really doing this?" he asked, voice weak.
I can't really write fetish porn without including actual porn lol, so from the beginning it was sexy even without the snz. In this version, the POV character is Eliseo, who is the "naive" character in a way. I pretty much write pairs where one character has the fetish and their partner does not but is indulgent. The one with the fetish is usually embarrassed about it or somehow naively realizing they like this weird-ass thing. Padgett laughed, voice tumbled and edging on hoarse. "Hey now. Not getting cold feet are we, my lord?" His exhale ghosted over Eliseo's forehead and his tousled black hair touched Eliseo's cheek.
Padgett is the confident character, and he brought the humor to this scenario! Eliseo cleared his throat. "No..." He could imagine the other man's smug look. They'd known each other long enough now that the image rose unbidden to his mind's eye. Padgett's eyes always glittered like opals when he was scheming something. Padgett surprised him with a tender touch on the shoulder, and he almost opened his eyes again. "The safe word is 'pumpernickel,'" he said, managing not to chuckle. "We can stop whenever you want... Hhk-" He fought off a gasp. "Decide hh quickly, though." Eliseo shivered. "I'm okay. Let's do it." He didn't want to admit it, but Padgett's reassurance did put him at ease, even if this had been his idea. He relaxed and tried to lose himself in the late afternoon heat. "Yehh-s, my lord." Padgett leaned forward and took a shaky breath. It stuttered and caught on invisible hooks, sounding at once to be full of potential and then gone again, like a ghost at the window. Eliseo could feel his body tightening again with anticipation, especially when Padgett gasped and leaned back. "Hh-... hah--
"A ghost in the window" eehhh this is kind of overworked. I like to write descriptively even when it isn't necessary. "Huh-ktschht!" A warm rush of air burst in Eliseo's face, almost immediately followed by a watery spray over his forehead, closed eyes, and nose. His instant reaction was to curl back, or try to, and he had his hands braced on Padgett's chest before he could think about it.
I had never written anything quite this scandalous as it were. There hadn't been a lot of snzfic I had read where there was direct, purposeful contagion like this or quite so much mess description directly on the skin, the face even. So I was sweating while writing this lol. "Hey now," said Padgett, delayed by a sniffle. His tone was light. "Easy. You specified this in the contract, remember?" He rested his hands lightly on Eliseo's wrists. "How are you feeling about it?"
CONSENT IS THE SEXIEST THING. We get this instinctual edge of revulsion from Eliseo because he has not acknowledged to himself that he likes snz yet and also he has never allowed anyone to do this to him before because why would anyone do this? Eliseo found he was holding his breath, but- Well, that would defeat the purpose of this exercise. He cautiously let it go and then opened his eyes. Padgett was gazing down at him, looking neither smug nor concerned, just curious. "I- this was on instinct," Eliseo murmured. After a beat, he lowered his hands, and Padgett let him go easily. "Yes, I imagine so. It's natural." Padgett smiled then, and then his expression crinkled. "Wh- hh- want to do it again? Hkt-- hhh..." Eliseo forced himself to surrender again to his pillows. "Yes." Again, he closed his eyes. Padgett shifted forward on his lap and oh- but then he was sneezing one more. "Huh- hktsschit!" Again, the spray. This time it dusted over Eliseo's nose and mouth. He fought to keep from thinning his lips and... took a deeper breath. Padgett hadn't moved, was still fighting with his own lungs, reeling in another insistent sneeze like a stubborn trout. "Huh- hh... hh hh huh-" He made an annoyed sound. "Hah-- hah-krttschtts!" Eliseo felt droplets of saliva decorate his cheekbone. Padgett sniffled thickly.
I think artists often point out how funny it is that when they're drawing they mimic the face of the character. I do this with sneeze sounds (IF I'M ALONE). I tend to like softer sounds for my characters, so a lot of sibilance creeps in. "...Bless you," Eliseo murmured. He was feeling hot. Maybe it was Padgett on top of him. The man was running a fever. "You are... doing the job admirably." That earned him a laugh. Padgett shifted his weight to his heels, which did interesting things to his cock's relation to Eliseo's own. "Thanks, I guess? I never would have thought anyone would be hiring for this, much less you." "Circumstances are dire," Eliseo intoned without a hint of irony.
Eliseo is a card. I love him. Of the two of them he is much more my preferred "type." He is similar to my mage character Llewellyn but less fussy. "Mmhm." Padgett sniffled again. "You must really hate weddings. Couldn't you have just gone on a hunt or something this weekend instead?" Eliseo sighed. "No. My sister would do anything to ruin my plans if I tried to avoid the party any normal way. But luckily, she's terrified of germs. I think a miserable head cold will be the ticket." Like hell he wanted to sit through another of his sister's weddings. Every time it was some new, world-changing drama. He wasn't even sure whether the groom this time was noble born. No doubt the reception gossip would be scathing. What absolute drivel.
There's a little "my lord" up there before, but this is kind of where the setting is characterized - Eliseo is a noble and this is a time and place where nobility matters. However, it's also anachronistic, because germ theory is a thing. They're kind of in a pseudo Regency/Victorian world where I just write whatever feels like the most fun. "Lucky also that you have me around, hm?" Padgett's next chuckle turned into a bit of a cough. Eliseo patted his knee awkwardly. "I- well, yes. Very. But believe me when I say that I would not wish for you to be so stricken if I had the power to stop it."
People with shitty immune systems are my jam. Even if it's really unlikely, I love it. Sometimes especially if it's unlikely. Like mister high elf Llewellyn, or if they're a god or angel or something. Or in a world where if you had that bad of an immune system you probably would have died of diphtheria or pneumonia by now. "Of course, my lord." Padgett rubbed his nose. And though his breath hitched a few times in the following moments, he stayed where he was. Eliseo blinked. "Are we...?" Done? He didn't really think the exposure had been long enough. "I am ready." Padgett blushed a little. Blushed? "Sorry," he said. "I can kind of feel that, uh, the uh, next ones are going to be kind of... wet. I could blow my nose." His voice trailed off, wavering again. His nostrils twitched, and Eliseo did see within the promise of moisture. Perhaps it was the taboo of it, but Eliseo was alerted instantly to a sudden thickening of his cock. It pressed at his trousers with some gusto as Padgett sniffled again. Eliseo swallowed. "No. No, this is good. This will... help."
After consent, MESS is the sexiest thing. That's just how it goes. I don't make the rules. Padgett gave him a considering look, at least as well as he could between soft gasps and squinting against the itch in his nose. "If you're sure, my lord." "Just- call me Eli, like you used to," said Eliseo, stumbling over the words. He wasn't sure where they had come from, but now they were bare between them. Still, perhaps a bit of affection wasn't so odd compared to what they were already doing. Eliseo closed his eyes on Padgett's startled look.
I wasn't sure where this came from either. But suddenly they were in love and I was cool with it. Eli btw is pronounced like the name (Ee-lye) but Eliseo is pronounced Ell-ee-zay-oh in my mind. It's of Latin origin and means "God is my salvation" according to that authority Babynames.com lol. Padgett means "attendant" so that was chosen partially because he's Eliseo's employee but also because Padgett is just a SUPER English-sounding name. I really enjoy looking up name meanings and representing different traditions in my characters. I tried to give Eliseo's family members Latin names, too, although they're not mentioned here. "Eli," Padgett said, and he sounded like he'd just come home from a long war to find the hearth kept warm for him. "I will." He leaned forward again, bracing himself. "Now, I'm going to- to hih-- to snhhsneeze, hah-- haktschtsch! Hrh- Hnkgstschhiu! More spray this time, more wetness, and Eliseo gasped himself when he felt a thick drip against his chin. Padgett hadn't moved. When Eliseo tentatively looked up, he saw his friend caught in a limbo of urgency. His green eyes were shut, eyelashes fluttering. His nostrils, gently pink now, flared. A clear trail hung from one of them, quivering as Padgett panted. He looked wild and fever bright and teetering on a precipice. Eliseo ignored what it might mean that Padgett's desperate expression, his wet nose - even the mess - suddenly went to his cock. He was hard, looking up at a portrait of a sneeze.
Sometimes you just have to stop writing for a second and drink some cold water or something. Carefully, he placed a hand on Padgett's thigh. "It's okay," he said, words coming of their own accord. "I've got you." Padgett's fingers tightened fitfully in the sheet as he shifted his weight again. He was making soft, irritated noises. His nostrils flared and Eliseo saw another drip lying in wait on the cusp.
Fingers tightening fitfully in a sheet is a thing I love to describe. If you binge-read everything I've written, you will find that I write snz and sex in a very particular way over and over. Because that's what I like! And I'm super glad readers like it as well! But I can basically only find the motivation to write what I enjoy (when I write at all... .__.), which is why I only write m/m or nb characters and such. When the urge became too much, it was like watching a wave finally crash down. Padgett's breath caught; he tensed and leaned back. Eliseo hurriedly closed his eyes again, and none too soon. "Hhhhrektschuckh!" He felt the mess streak his face, fly to spatter his mouth and nose and chin. Padgett moaned and then gasped again, chest swelling with air.
SCANDALOUS "Hah- Huhrttschuh! Hshtt! Hah- hsshtt!" Again, he teetered, teasing the air with shivering gasps. Then, he abruptly folded with a crush of vowels and congestion. "Hggtschiucht!" A baptism, pondered Eliseo's brain as it detached from reality momentarily. Pinned as he was to the bed by Padgett's sex, he couldn't move when he felt himself coming just as abruptly as the sneeze. Somehow the slick wash had become a mounting sense of urgency in each of his muscles, racing from his fingertips and toes to his abdomen, where, quite unbidden, his cock had tugged all that energy into a gut-wrenching orgasm that sent the shockwaves back out with renewed vigor. Padgett whined, and Eliseo took him firmly by the shoulders and drew him in for a messy, off-putting, contagious, blindingly good kiss. "Wow," said Padgett, when they finally broke for air.
Wow, lol. I have a great imagination. I wish I could make myself write more often. "Don't ask me why," Eliseo muttered, but he refused to be made a fool of by embarrassment. "C- come here." He shifted to sit up further and put his hands on Padgett's hips. "I want-" He wanted. "This. Yes?" Before he could stop himself, he swept his tongue over Padgett's mouth, under his nose, to rest at the edge of a nostril. He tasted salt. It was not entirely pleasant, but whatever pilot was captaining his body right now didn't care. He could still feel his cock pulsing against his trousers.
Also the first time I wrote anything like this, but Eliseo was like go big or go home, so. Padgett moaned. "It feels... odd. But, my lord, you can do what you- I mean, Eli." He was breathless for different reasons now. Eliseo laved the tender skin above Padgett's lips, then licked up his septum. When Padgett shivered, Eliseo kissed him again. Slowly, he cleaned away the mess from Padgett's face. When he was finished, neither of them knew what to say. Eliseo was hard again.
Huahaha Eliseo can have an unrealistic refractory period. I don't really give a shit how accurate this stuff is when it would get in the way of the enjoyment. Not to the point where people are just going in without lube or something crazy like that, but being willing and able to go again is just sexy, so that's fine. Finally, Padgett laughed shyly. "I think you'll be catching your cold, Eli." Eliseo blushed and shrugged. "I should hope so. I am-" He bit his lip. "I'm not ready to stop. Will you stay the night? I'll look after you." Padgett kissed him, tenderly drawing them together. "I would like that, very much."
And then they DEFINITELY banged. I hadn't conceptualized their specific history together at this point, but Eliseo and Padgett were FWB while younger, so the "surprise" at meeting again like this in a sexy fashion is more like "Oh, are we doing this now, as adults with drastically different social standing?" and less "Hey, are you into me??"
I got more than one request to write the direct sequel to this, but I dunno. I usually prefer one character in the pair to be the one who is sneezing, and writing Eliseo sick isn't as fun. Partially because I'm much, MUCH more interested in the shy/embarrassed/"voyeur" dynamic, so someone who gets off on their own sneezes really does nothing for me. I do have a WIP of Eliseo sick that is a direct sequel to Carriage Shenanigans, but I have no idea if it will ever get finished.
Thanks so much for the request for this very fun exercise!
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alabasterswriting · 4 years
Text
Gone With the Rest of Me
Writing this because Chapter 7 of Men of Power is not cooperating, so I need to redirect before coming back to it. Also @jasontoddiefor‘s Medical Trauma Time Travel AU is eating away at my brain. So here you go!
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25050571
Anakin screams.
He screams because his skin is on fire and his lungs won’t work and there’s a man above him with tears on his cheeks as flames burn the sight from his eyes. He screams because the man has wrinkles and the pain is old and his lightsaber cleaves out a piece of his soul as it cuts the man in half. Satisfaction is agony; a cold pit of apathy, like the loss of a mechanical limb. It should matter, but it doesn’t when he’s long convinced himself the original didn’t either.
Something jostles him. There’s a presence in his head and it doesn’t belong there. It stings like new skin, and aches like a muscle freshly used, and no matter what shields he throws at it, it slips through them all like sand through fingers. It’s dug into Anakin’s mind as if it didn’t burn with all the others, and nothing makes sense.
“Stop, stop,” he begs. It’s too deep. Far too deep. It smells of sapir tea and sulfur, home-cooked meals and burning flesh. His voice is a whisper because his throat is scorched and he can’t speak any louder, even though there’s no pain except for the phantom of what was. The presence recedes as if burned and Anakin wants to laugh except he hasn’t laughed in twenty years, and something is wrong. Something is so wrong and he just wants the galaxy to stop so he can get off and fix it.
Hands touch him. They’re gentle and pressing and he doesn’t understand because there’s no pain. There’s no pain even though he feels it as vividly as lightning dancing across flesh. Each touch stings; the hand on his head is like lava on his scalp. It sets flames to hair he shouldn’t have anymore, each follicle a tendril of unrelenting agony, and he doesn’t even know why he leans into it so desperately.
Someone somewhere is shouting. He thinks he hears his name, but that isn’t right because his name belongs to a dead man and remembering the dead is a fool’s errand. There are questions - he thinks they’re directed at him - and a light in his eyes that is bright, bright, oh Force, it’s so bright.
He’s screaming again even though he never actually stopped. White, it’s white. Blinding, horrible white, like the inside of his Qabbrat. Only, it’s not his chamber because he’s laying down and he can’t breathe and the hands are everywhere and - doctors.
They’re doctors. A heart monitor beeps its familiar tune and a droid rattles off the confusing diagnostics that make sense only to healers. He’s surrounded by medical equipment, but it’s too busy, too bright to be the droids and nurses he knows. They shout and touch him with hurried hands and worried voices, and it doesn’t make sense because the nurses don’t touch and the droids aren’t gentle and neither are ever worried. This isn’t familiar. He doesn’t want to be here. He can’t be here. This is wrong, so wrong and he needs to get out.
Something crashes behind him and there’s a sound like crumpling metal close to his ear. It’s loud, horribly so, and it doesn’t make sense because there’s no static and his helmet is off and why is it loud?
Shouts erupt from the people around him. Metal groans and the table he’s on shudders, and suddenly there are more hands. There are more hands and he hates it. He hates them and he hates their concern and he wants them off! A great cry rises up around him from a cacophony of bodies thrown into walls. It splits ear drums that have long melted away, and Anakin cries.
He cries and the table shakes and he doesn’t care if the room collapses around him because at least then there will be silence. Silence and darkness and he’ll know where phantom pain ends and real pain begins. He doesn’t notice as the overhead lights flicker and die. He doesn’t notice as machines warp around him. He shakes on the table as full of agony as he was on that day two decades ago. Arms - weightless and sensitive and foreign - reach to grasp hold of his ears in an effort to block out the world.
It doesn’t work. The world keeps spinning and he spins with it. For the first time he notices the Force’s screams. It’s screaming and shouting and crying, and he doesn’t know if it’s echoing him or he’s echoing it, but it doesn’t matter because he feels like a sun inside and it’s been so long. So, so long since he heard it like this. It’s light and bright, but shadows - familiar and terrible - follow in its wake like vornskers hunting a meal. He hates it. He wants to pull away but he remembers this. This feeling of impending implosion within his own power and it scares him. It scares him and he hates that and there’s nothing left to temper it. He can’t temper it; he never could and -
There’s a hand on his head. It’s callused and steady and warm like sunshine on Naboo. Anakin’s forgotten what that felt like. He hungers for it, head tilting like a babe suckling for milk. Desperately, he struggles for more of that warmth, more of that comfort. It’s been so long since he’s felt either and he doesn’t deserve it, but Anakin Skywalker has always been a selfish bastard.
The hand seems to understand as it cups the back of his head and lifts it up. It’s gentle - oh so strangely gentle - as if Anakin will shatter otherwise, and he’s not so foolish anymore as to say that isn’t possible. Another arm carefully wraps around his chest. It freezes him in place because why isn’t it crushing him? Why isn’t it hurting him? He braces himself for the impact of whatever attack this is, but nothing comes.
Instead, there’s a moment of breathless weightlessness before he feels himself settle against a torso. A heartbeat pounds in his ear, loud and clear and scared, but the body is steady, holding him as if he were a child. He’s not. He’s a monster and monster don’t get held like this, but he’s too tired to fight. Everything is too much - too much sound, too much touch, too much sight - and if these are his last moments, well it’s not the worst way to go. He settles, shaking and gasping against the body, burrowing into it like a bygone memory. He thinks there’s something wet on his cheeks, but that’s impossible because he hasn’t been able to cry real tears in decades.
The arms tighten. They hold him steady as the person bends over, encompassing him fully in an embrace that should feel like a trap, but doesn’t. A voice whispers in his ear, choked with an emotion he thinks he should know but can’t remember, urging him on, telling him to do something, but he can’t concentrate. His mind is a mess, like his Master just gouged out a piece of his brain and set it on fire.
He chokes. He chokes and there’s nothing there to help him breathe and oh Force, where’s his respirator? His body is suddenly alert, flailing about in the embrace struggling for air. So this is what they’re doing. Clever. Let the monster suffocate. They took his respirator and are suffocating him and he can’t breathe and -
“-kin! Bre-! Ana- you have - breathe!” The person yells. Anakin can feel the rumble against his cheek, but the person doesn’t understand. He can’t breathe. “You have to - in! Ana-in. Breathe. Listen, -me. Anak-. An-! In, one, -wo, thre-. Hold. Out, one, two, -ee. Again. In..” the voice continues, but Anakin doesn’t listen. He can’t. He can’t do it. He can’t breathe. Why don’t they just give him his respirator?
“General!” Another voice, also familiar, shouts nearby and Anakin flinches. The arms tighten reflexively, but the pain he should feel never comes. Instead, a sound like pressurized oxygen enters his space, and everything else ceases to matter. A mask is placed over his mouth, forcing oxygen into his damaged lungs and he feels himself sag back into the stranger’s embrace. He can breathe. Oh Force, he can breathe.
The hand on his head cards through his hair and he doesn’t have the energy to question that. All he cares about is the air. Glorious, glorious air and the sunshine warmth of the stranger. A torso bends just slightly further around him, and he can sense the person’s head as they lean towards him. Bristles, pointed and sharp poke at his sensitive skin, and the sensation of soft fingers against his cheek is almost enough to make him sob. It’s electric. His nerves are fit to explode. Every brush against his skin is like liquid fire, but he welcomes it like the pathetic fool he is. It’s gentle. He’d forgotten what gentle felt like.
The stranger’s touch is enough to calm the Force into a manageable screech, and if he concentrates hard enough he can almost drown out the sound of the doctors scurrying around. Almost. Not quite. But he’s too tired now to bother retaliating. Whatever they want to do to him can’t be worse than what’s already been done.
He focuses instead on the crisp voice of the stranger. They murmur softly into his ringing ears, calm and soothing as if afraid to spook him, and it’s familiar in a way that makes his stomach lurch and his heart break. The bristles tickle his nose and he wants to reach out. Wants to see. But his mask is off and it’s too bright and he’s blind without it.
A thumb wipes something from his face. He can’t tell what it might be but a nail clips against his eyelids, sending a burning sting through his head that forces his eyes open. Funny, he doesn’t know when he’d closed them if they’d ever been open in the first place.
Light from a window greets him. It spears through him like a bolt to the brain and he hears something whimper nearby. The stranger cups his cheek again and Anakin marvels at the way the man’s hair catches fire. Anakin hates fire, but it’s a dull hate. Old, and one he doesn’t have the strength to call upon.
But it’s that hate that gives him time to pause. Because the room is bright but there’s color. There’s gold in that fire-hair, and it’s been so long since he’s seen gold he almost can’t believe it. Gold. In copper hair, against a pale face and blue-
Luke? But no. It’s not Luke.
The face that meets his belongs to a dead man. He tries to reach out but his arms won’t move and he only ends up sending a shudder of phantom pain down the length of his spine. It’s agony and he bites his lip to keep quiet, but the dead-man doesn’t care. The hand leaves his cheek and reaches out to clasp hold of his fingers. It’s feather light, but Anakin feels every callus, every scar, every groove. The nails need cutting, but he welcomes the pins and needles they cause.
He knows this hand. He dreamed of cutting it off for years. He dreamed of it reaching out to him for years. There’s a scar from a repair job gone wrong on the inside of his thumb and a burn from a cooking incident on his forefinger. They should be wrinkled, but they’re not; smooth with youth, and leathery with experience.
Fire-hair dances and he can’t stop staring. He knows that healers are bustling around him - knows that they’re touching him, but they’re meaningless next to the dead-man. The man’s face is young, with only the beginnings of laugh lines, and his blue-grey eyes have not yet clouded with age.
Anakin wants to sob. He wants to rage. Because this is the face he’s dreamed of killing. For twenty years, this face wreathed in flames is the one he wanted dead. Dead, for not loving him enough to put Anakin out of his misery when he had the chance. The hunched old-man colored in nothing but the red of his suit’s lenses was a poor substitute.
But the man’s arms are warm. His voice is soothing. He smells like sapir tea and regulation caff. The fingers that hold Anakin’s are gentle and the beard against his cheek is scratchy from days left untrimmed. When he leaves here, he’ll probably trim it. He’ll shower and make caff that Anakin will steal, and then he’ll shake his head ruefully before turning around to make the tea he’s already had in preparation. Maybe he’ll do paperwork. Maybe he’ll nap. It varies depending on the day and Anakin finds himself shaking at the thought.
Because it doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t understand. The galaxy is spinning and the Force is booming. He can’t tell up from down, and bonds long dead are thrumming with energy. He’s going to be sick. He has to be dreaming. This can’t be real and yet all he wants is to curl up into the embrace of the man who haunts his nightmares and beg him to finally end it.
“Please.” He doesn’t know if he says it out loud or in his mind, but the dead man holds him close and quietly shushes him.    
Someone tugs on his arm, and he feels the familiar sensation of needles piercing his skin. He doesn’t want it, but he never does. There’s a brush against his mind and he doesn’t recoil. Master does it all the time. The trick is not to fight, even when he digs.
But the dead-man doesn’t dig. He brushes his presence over Anakin’s forehead as gently as a parent does their child. The world grows fuzzy and he thinks he hears the crisp accent say, “Sleep, Anakin. You’ll be okay,” before his eyes begin to close and his head tilts to press against the dead-man’s chest. Someone injects him with something else, but he’s too far gone to care. 
He falls asleep to the sound of Obi-Wan’s heartbeat and the knowledge that he’ll still be gone when Anakin wakes up. 
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Like Lightning After the Thunder: Chapter One: Damned Smile
Fic Summary:
His breath wavered as he stared into Katsuki’s eyes. He knew he could get out if he tried. He could knock Katsuki out, hope that no one else would find them, and run back into the shadows where he belonged. Katsuki may have had him pinned down but he was in Denki’s range now and it would take little effort to send a charge through Katsuki to paralyze him temporarily.
It would take barely any additional effort to kill Katsuki.
As the sparks began to charge, lighting up the air around him, Katsuki refused to back down.
Katsuki always knew he was destined for great things.
He didn’t think he’d have to turn his back on all he’s ever known to get there.
Rating: T
Warnings: Eventual major character death, implied/referenced child abuse, psychological trauma
Other Tags: Bakugou Katsuki/Kaminari Denki, slow burn, alternate universe - canon divergence
Read on Ao3 (links to corresponding chapter) or read below
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Fic navigation to read the fic on tumblr 
--
Even years later, that damn smile haunted his dreams.
There was absolutely no reason for him to still think about the event. Everything had been taken care of when it had happened― injuries were treated, authorities alerted, information secured, and a press conference to tie it all up in a big red bow. There were no loose ends, no surprise second coming, no physical reminders of what happened lingering in his daily life. Katsuki would have labeled it as done, dealt with, and no longer relevant, shoving it aside in his memory so he could focus on actual important shit.
Except his mind had different plans.
When he was lucky, he could completely forget about the event for months. Other times, his dreams would be filled with nothing but that damn smile, taunting him with its silence. He could usually predict when the dreams would come― the anniversary of the event for example― but other times, it seemed like anything could trigger the memory. He once saw a bright yellow balloon and for the rest of the day, every time he closed his eyes he saw that damned smile, never wavering despite the curses and insults Katsuki spewed.
He wanted to forget it. He wanted so desperately to forget it. For the image to erase itself from his mind, for it to take the feelings away with it. He could deal with the anger, he could always deal with the anger, but when his memory reminded him of the wave of hurt and betrayal that nearly blinded him…
When his alarm jolted him from his sleep and freed him from the smile, he couldn’t get out of bed fast enough. He woke up drenched in a cold sweat, sheets singed and smoking lightly as he unclenched his hands, and Katsuki was, for once, very relieved that not all of his sweat was explosive. He slapped the singes a few times to ensure that all of the embers were put out before heading for the bathroom, cursing under his breath as he flinched at his own reflection in the mirror.
There was nothing particularly wrong with his appearance, if you didn’t count the dark circles under his eyes from a fitful night’s sleep or his clammy skin, but after being plagued by the smile, Katsuki could barely look at himself. His reaction to the smile made him feel weak, like he couldn’t handle himself and that there was something wrong with him. It was just a smile after all. There was no reason for him to react to it like a nightmare, no reason for him to lose sleep over it or to feel overwhelmed by emotions at the thought of it.
Yet when he saw the smile and saw how the corners of his mouth were tugged a bit too tight, how his eyes were open a bit too wide, how the only shine in his eyes were the reflections of light on tears that refused to fall…
Katsuki cursed.
The icy cold shower did little to help distract him from the memory, nor did his morning run nor the steaming shower he took after. He wasn’t supposed to head into the agency today, so he didn’t have any planned beatdowns for today, and yes he probably shouldn’t be hoping for it, but part of him hoped for a sudden emergency villain so he could distract himself by focusing on beating some villain’s ass into next week.
A few hours later when his phone refused to stop buzzing, Katsuki wondered if throwing his phone across the room until it stopped would be close enough to beating villain ass to work. He reluctantly decided that talking to people so they’d leave him alone was probably less hassle to deal with than having to replace his phone and distribute his new number (even if it would give him an excuse to ghost some of these damn extras).
A few individual texts and a group text were the cause of the buzzing. As the group text’s new message count continued to rise, he figured it would be easier to respond to the individual texts first. Just in case he changed his mind about destroying the phone.
Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Hello Bakugou, this is a reminder about the upcoming Class A reunion. As the head of the reunion committee, it is my duty to ensure an accurate headcount for the event, and I have yet to receive your response about your attendance. Please ensure to respond via the following link by this Friday at 11:59PM. [Class A 10 Year Reunion RSVP]
Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): In case you missed the previous messages regarding the reunion, the event is March 28th starting at 7PM at the Shinjuku Hotel in Musutafu. If you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.
Katsuki frowned. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to the possibility of being surrounded by all of his former classmates and even less at the idea of being socially obligated to spend the entire evening with them. At least when he met up with his friends elsewhere, he could always claim needing to leave early so he could make the last train or that work needed him to come in early the next day.
He closed out of the conversation, figuring he still had a few more days to decide if he really wanted to deal with his classmates for an entire evening.
Midoriya: Hey Katsugou! I was wondering if you’re going to go to the reunion? Tenya said the deadline to RSVP is coming soon and we haven’t heard from you, so I just thought I’d check in!
Katsuki: The fuck is Katsugou?
Midoriya: Oh sorry!! Typo!!
Midoriya: Anyway, are you coming?
Katsuki closed out of the conversation and moved on to the next one.
Shitty Hair: Katsuki! Are you coming to the reunion or not dude????
Katsuki: Fuck off.
Shitty Hair: Aww dude that’s no way to talk to your best friend, you know you love me!!
Katsuki: I’m blocking you.
He did not, in fact, block him. But he did close out of Eijirou’s texts.
Save for the newest text sent directly from Eijirou, all that was left was the backlog of texts in the group text. It had kept going off while he was reading the other conversations, so Katsuki figured it meant that everyone was either off for the day or on their lunch break.
Raccoon Eyes: guys!!!!! the reunion is COMING UPPPPPP!!!!
Raccoon Eyes: i cant wait to s
Raccoon Eyes: ee all of u guys again!!
Tape Face: lmao you saw us last week
Raccoon Eyes: yes
Raccoon Eyes: an eteRNITY ago
Raccoon Eyes: and like
Raccoon Eyes: kats left early so we didnt have everyone
Raccoon Eyes: so it doesnt count
Shitty Hair: Yeah Katsuki don’t leave early next time!!
Raccoon Eyes: we just have to hold him hostage next time
Raccoon Eyes: or like
Raccoon Eyes: AMBUSH him
Tape Face: i can always tape him up
Raccoon Eyes: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
Raccoon Eyes: tape him to the wall
Raccoon Eyes: and then like
Raccoon Eyes: steal his wallet
Raccoon Eyes: cant get on transit w no moneys
Raccoon Eyes: ei and han hold him down
Raccoon Eyes: i run to hide his wallet where he cant fi
Raccoon Eyes: nd it
Raccoon Eyes: probs keeps kats tapped to the wall all night
Raccoon Eyes: free up his arms so he can have a drink????
Tape Face: explosion palms dude
Raccoon Eyes: oh u right
Raccoon Eyes: he can just have a cup w like
Raccoon Eyes: a REALLY REALLY long straw
Raccoon Eyes: make sure u tape him up w his hands behind his back
Tape Face: you got it
Shitty Hair: He’s in this chat guys he’s going to see the plan
Raccoon Eyes: whatevs we can still totally blindside him
Raccoon Eyes: ANYWAYS
Raccoon Eyes: ure all going right?????
Tape Face: ya I rsvpd a while back
Shitty Hair: Yep!! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!
Raccoon Eyes: what about u kats
Raccoon Eyes: kats???
Raccoon Eyes: KAAAAAAAAAAAAATS
Raccoon Eyes: k
Raccoon Eyes: a
Shitty Hair: I’ll text him separately
Raccoon Eyes: t
Tape Face: he probably has this muted lmao
Raccoon Eyes: s
Raccoon Eyes: !!!!!!
Raccoon Eyes: how dare u ignore us
Raccoon Eyes: after everything weve done for u!!!!
Raccoon Eyes: thought we were ur ride or die hoes
Raccoon Eyes: dont tell me ur not going!!!!!
Raccoon Eyes: im so offended
Raccoon Eyes: how could u do this to us kats
Shitty Hair: Maybe he’s at work today?
Raccoon Eyes: boo
Raccoon Eyes: how dare he prioritize wo
Raccoon Eyes: rk over us
Raccoon Eyes: his best friends
Raccoon Eyes: the suns of his life
Raccoon Eyes: the bit of happiness in the cold
Raccoon Eyes: cold
Raccoon Eyes: cold
Tape Face: coooooooooold
Raccoon Eyes: COOOOOOOOLD
Raccoon Eyes: thing he calls a heart
Shitty Hair: Lmao
Tape Face: its got a bit of warmth
Tape Face: most of it is his temper
Raccoon Eyes: boom boom POW
Raccoon Eyes: well while we wait for kats
Raccoon Eyes: help me pick some photos for the slideshow!!
Tape Face: are you doing only UA pics or some stuff since then
Tape Face: somehow iida managed to not specify lmao
Shitty Hair: The info email was like ten pages, how did he miss it
Tape Face: idk
Raccoon Eyes: ive got plenty for both!!
Raccoon Eyes: momo said pref UA pics but some new stuff is good too
Raccoon Eyes: show how far weve come n all that
Tape Face: oh cool let me get some opinions then too
Shitty Hair: Anyone have any pics of the camping trip from second year?
Raccoon Eyes: before or after todoroki and kats’ fight turned it into a icy hot springs
Shitty Hair: Both lmao but probably before it went to hell
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: ofc ive got us chillin in the springs
Raccoon Eyes: well most of us
Raccoon Eyes: kats u never get in the water w us :C
Raccoon Eyes: lets go to the beach next time!!
Tape Face: hed prob boil the water w you in it if you dragged him in lmao
Tape Face: spicy acid time
Raccoon Eyes: id like to see him TRY
Shitty Hair: Don’t tempt him lmao
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: i got like a shit ton more
Raccoon Eyes: should i send some of THE FIGHT
Shitty Hair: Maybe not
Tape Face: yes
Tape Face: well
Tape Face: depends on how many pissed off katsuki pics youre putting in lmao
Raccoon Eyes: OH
Raccoon Eyes: OHHHH
Raccoon Eyes: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Tape Face: ?
Raccoon Eyes: dude
Raccoon Eyes: do u have the POMERANIAN pic
Tape Face: o shit
Tape Face: image.png
Shitty Hair: I still think Katsuki should’ve taken that pup home
Shitty Hair: They’re matching!
Tape Face: image.png
Tape Face: i also have this one
Tape Face: when she tried to bite his nose off lmao
Raccoon Eyes: kats couldve named her king explosion murder
Raccoon Eyes: or just murder
Raccoon Eyes: p sure she wouldve tried to murder kats at least o
Raccoon Eyes: nce
Tape Face: lmao she basically tried when he found her
Shitty Hair: Maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t keep the pup
Tape Face: look what i found
Tape Face: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW YES
Raccoon Eyes: LOOK AT USSSSS
Raccoon Eyes: we look FABBBB
Shitty Hair: Is that from the dance?
Tape Face: ye
Raccoon Eyes: guys what if we recreate that pic at the reunion
Raccoon Eyes: the fits?
Raccoon Eyes: immaculate
Raccoon Eyes: the pose?
Raccoon Eyes: perfection
Tape Face: hotel?
Tape Face: trivago
Shitty Hair: I’m down for recreating some pics!
Raccoon Eyes: yessssss
Raccoon Eyes: u have no choice either kats u gotta do it
Raccoon Eyes: wherever u are
Shitty Hair: Oh he replied!!
Raccoon Eyes: SWEET
Raccoon Eyes: what he say
Shitty Hair: He said fuck off
Tape Face: as expected
Shitty Hair: Lmao he threatened to block me again
Tape Face: thought he said he was blocking you last week
Shitty Hair: Yea exactly
Raccoon Eyes: HOW RUDE
Raccoon Eyes: as punishment for not paying attention to us
Raccoon Eyes: im gonna send this
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Tape Face: LMAO whend you make that
Shitty Hair: Is that Katsuki with a cat face and ears
Shitty Hair: Dude I don’t know if he’s going to kill you for that or for the pink hair first lmao
Raccoon Eyes: lmao made it just now
Raccoon Eyes: well MAYBE if he ANSWERED us
Katsuki: Delete it.
Tape Face: O SHIT
Tape Face: you summoned him
Raccoon Eyes: NO I WILL NOT
Katsuki: Delete it Raccoon Eyes or else I’m coming for you.
Tape Face: are you coming for the left shoes and shittin in them
Raccoon Eyes: NOOOOOOO not my shoes!!!!!!!!
Tape Face: its just the left shoes tho
Raccoon Eyes: BUT THATS MY FAVE SIDE
Katsuki: What the fuck are you two going on about?
Raccoon Eyes: DONT COME FOR M
Raccoon Eyes: Y LEFT SHOES KATS IM SORRY
Katsuki: I’m not coming for your fucking left shoes. Or any of your shoes.
Katsuki: I will be coming for you if you don’t delete that picture, though.
Raccoon Eyes: FORGIVENESS
Raccoon Eyes: I BEG
Raccoon Eyes: PLSSSSS
Katsuki: Delete the picture.
Raccoon Eyes: ugh fiiiiiiiiiine
Raccoon Eyes: its deleted
Raccoon Eyes: i wont send it to momo for the slide show
Katsuki: Good.
Raccoon Eyes: IF U COME TO THE REUNION
Katsuki: Fuck off.
Shitty Hair: C’mon Katsuki!! It’ll be fun!!
Tape Face: ya it wouldnt do if we didnt have our exploding star
Raccoon Eyes: ill send momo WORSE if u dont come
Raccoon Eyes: nd u wont know WHAT til AFTER
Raccoon Eyes: so PLSSSSSSSSSS
Raccoon Eyes: PRETTY PLSSSSSSS
Raccoon Eyes: PLS COME TO THE REUNION
Raccoon Eyes: ill spam u a lot worse if u dont show us proof of rsvp
Raccoon Eyes: pls kaaaaaaaaats
Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaaaaaats
Raccoon Eyes: k
Raccoon Eyes: a
Katsuki: Ugh fucking fine, I’ll do the RSVP now then.
Raccoon Eyes: t
Raccoon Eyes: YAY
Four Eyes (Rocket Legs): Good afternoon, Bakugou! I just wanted to confirm with you that I have received your RSVP for the Class A reunion. As a reminder, if you need to rent a room for the night or the weekend, please alert the Shinjuku Hotel staff that you are part of the Class A reunion party by next Wednesday for an event discount.
Katsuki: image.png
Katsuki: image.png
Katsuki: Four Eyes is watching the RSVP form like a fucking hawk apparently.
Raccoon Eyes: YAAAAAY URE RSVPD!!!
Shitty Hair: You know him, always dedicated to his work
Tape Face: sweet
Raccoon Eyes: are u guys getting rooms
Tape Face: yea musutafus too far for a round trip
Tape Face: esp since itll prob end late
Shitty Hair: I got one for the weekend!
Tape Face: wbu mina
Raccoon Eyes: booked a room already!!
Raccoon Eyes: kaaaaats wbu
Raccoon Eyes: u should
Raccoon Eyes: we could have a brunch or lunch or s/t thats just us
Raccoon Eyes: plsssssss kats
Katsuki: I’ll think about it.
Tape Face: better than a no lmao
Shitty Hair: If they run out of space or if you decide last second, you can room with me dude
Raccoon Eyes: awww why not a yes
Katsuki: I haven’t asked the other Four Eyes for the time off yet.
Tape Face: is this four eyes no4 or no15
Raccoon Eyes: four eyes no69
Raccoon Eyes: no wait
Raccoon Eyes: no420
Tape Face: haha blaze it
Raccoon Eyes: BLAZE IT
Shitty Hair: It’s number 7
Katsuki: Fuck you, I don’t have that many Four Eyes saved in my phone.
Shitty Hair: I’d be surprised if you had 420 contacts period dude
Raccoon Eyes: would b hilarious tho
Katsuki: Yes, it’s Four Eyes number 7.
Shitty Hair: I was right!!
Katsuki: Why would I ask any of the other Four Eyes for time off? They’re not my fucking bosses.
Tape Face: dunno
Raccoon Eyes: idk maybe ure secretly dating one a
Raccoon Eyes: nd have to confirm that its ok
Raccoon Eyes: ARE U SECRETLY DATING A FOUR EYES
Raccoon Eyes: U HAVE TO TELL US IF U ARE
Raccoon Eyes: URE LEGALLY OBLIGATED
Tape Face: o shit
Tape Face: scandalous
Katsuki: Shut the fuck up, I’m not dating anyone, secret or not.
Raccoon Eyes: thats what they all say
Katsuki: Whatever. I’m not dating anyone.
Raccoon Eyes: kats n four eyes no420 sittin in a tree
Raccoon Eyes: k
Raccoon Eyes: i
Raccoon Eyes: s
Raccoon Eyes: s
Raccoon Eyes: i
Katsuki: I’ll blow up all of your left shoes when you’re not home.
Raccoon Eyes: n
Raccoon Eyes: NO
Raccoon Eyes: IM STOPPING DONT DO IT
Shitty Hair: Hey what do you guys think of this photo
Shitty Hair: image.png
Tape Face: dude yes
Raccoon Eyes: AWWWW OUR FIRST BILLBOARDS AS PROS
Katsuki: Do we really need to send them pictures? It’s not like we fucking forgot this stuff already.
Tape Face: you can be a killjoy if you want lmao
Tape Face: im sure mina will send more than enough to cover for you
Raccoon Eyes: U BETCHA
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Raccoon Eyes: image.png
Tape Face: lmao why do you have a pic of katsuki throwing ei
Shitty Hair: I still can’t believe you did that bro
Shitty Hair: WITHOUT WARNING TOO
Katsuki: I gave you plenty of fucking warning.
Shitty Hair: Saying “I’m throwing you” AS YOU’RE THROWING ME is NOT PLENTY OF WARNING DUDE
Raccoon Eyes: im always ready to document golden moments
Katsuki: Shut the fuck up. We won the training exercise so what’s it fucking matter?
Shitty Hair: YOU THREW ME!!
Katsuki: Tape Face caught you before you could get hurt.
Shitty Hair: YOU /THREW/ ME!!!!!!
Tape Face: barely caught
Katsuki: Whatever.
Raccoon Eyes: im still impressed by how eASY u made that look
Katsuki: What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?
Raccoon Eyes: o look conveniently timed distraction photo spam
Katsuki sighed as he continued the conversation, commenting here and there on the photos his friends sent for judgement. In retrospect, he probably should have tried to talk to Shion first, since there was a chance she would have denied the time off for the reunion. Although, knowing her, she would have accepted just to force Katsuki into socializing. He opened up a new text message, figuring that if Shion did decide to deny the time off, he would at least have a screenshot to send to his friends explaining the sudden change in plans.
Katsuki: I need March 28th and 29th off.
Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Do my eyes deceive me? The great Katsuki Bakugou, asking for time off?
Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): I’m amazed! Usually I have to ask you to take the day off!
Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Nay, not ask, but force!
Katsuki: Are you going to give it to me or not?
Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Depends! What do you need the time off for?
Katsuki: Class reunion.
Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Oh those are fun!
Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Fill out the proper time off paperwork and have it on my desk by Monday. I’ll approve the time off.
Four Eyes (Shitty Shion): Just keep your phone on you in case we need you to come in for an emergency, but I’ll try not to ruin your reunion with work.
Katsuki: Thanks.
Well, so much for an easy way out.
Katsuki pinched the bridge of his nose when he noticed that his phone had already accumulated another thirty texts in the past few minutes, no doubt primarily from Mina. He scrolled through the backlog, sending a few mostly empty threats when he saw photos he did not want projected for the entire class to see, freezing when his gaze met a pair of familiar amber eyes.
Shit.
In his scramble to close out of the photo, to escape the genuine smile that somehow was more haunting than the one in his dreams, he left the group text completely. He briefly thanked his past self; he’d impulse or rage quit the group text plenty of times before that this wasn’t unusual behavior. If he was lucky, his friends wouldn’t have noticed the timing of his departure and would assume he was just fed up with the notifications or the conversation.
Shitty Hair: You okay, Katsuki?
A weak laugh escaped Katsuki’s lips as he read the newest notification. Of course Eijirou noticed.
Katsuki: I’m fine.
Shitty Hair: Okay
Shitty Hair: We don’t have to talk about it
Shitty Hair: But if you want to, I’m here dude
Shitty Hair: I’ll tell the others that you left so your phone would shut up and not to add you back yet
Katsuki: Thanks. Really.
Shitty Hair: No problem dude
Katsuki put his phone down, silently praying for the smile to leave him alone.
When he finally laid down for bed that night, he repeated the short prayer, for a peaceful night’s rest free of the smile, of the hurt, of the pain, of the guilt.
But as always, the smile came.
8 notes · View notes
borom1r · 3 years
Note
✋🎉 👔 🌸 😳 for Lawrence and Eric out of those f/o picture asks? :3c (I'm sorry you're having a rough day,, I hope you feel a bit better soon 💚)
ooughjf thanks dude.. i have a vet appt saturday morning but im still. worried abt my cat 😞
n ee wayz sjjdf.... going back thru saw iv got me thinking again (like always) abt how the context of "I'm not the one you gotta worry about" changes if Art is a disciple. thinking about what in the hell he means. thinking abt his apparent surprise at the sight of the ice blocks when HE armed them + what wouldve happened if he just. didnt.
also thinking abt John's "your partner is going to kill an innocent man" line and what if it wasn't Jeff. obviously it was SUPPOSED to be but what if Strahm had trusted his gut n followed Rigg. what if, instead of shooting Jeff, Strahm shoots Rigg before he can open the door because in Strahm's eyes Rigg is already recruited and he can't let Rigg keep going, look at the trail of death he's left behind. Jeff lives, Corbett doesn't lose her father, Strahm never gets stuck in the water cube and Eric and Art live. hmm.... hm.
i also just cant get over the fact Hoffman collared and gagged himself JUST to be a whore. WHEN has John gagged someone EXCEPT for Art, which was specifically suited to the purpose of the trap, or Addy + Allen (which also served the purpose of leaving William alone w/ his thoughts). he makes me insane never once before have i felt the urge to throw rotten tomatoes at a person but he makes me want to. like a cartoon heckler, but im just yelling "WHORE! SLUT!" and trying my damnedest to nail him with a disgusting squishy vegetable
anyways @ that anon who asked me why i hate Spiral. another part of why i hate it is bc IV is SO so good. DLB... i am disappointed </3
Eric time tho!
🤚 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s hand(s)!
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hey so while i was looking for pics of Eric's hands n i eventually settled on this one bc i love the way his hand curves around the gun n i love the tenderness of Art's touch. do you ever think about how much fresh blood is caked around his nails? (you can see it in his first scene in IV; 29:14 for anyone really curious) — fresh enough that it hasn't cracked n flaked off, all the way up to his first knuckles. i am thinking about that. i am thinking abt what he was scratching at so hard tht he can still have his nails but have so much fucking blood on his fingers (its his rashes speaking as someone w/ dermatillomania it was his rashes. it breaks my heart. bc ill do it idly but to have THAT level of blood, it comes from a source of distress. he probably dug deep enough to leave permanent scars)
🎉 Post a screenshot of your f/o where they’re smiling/laughing/having a good time.
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👔 Post a screenshot of your f/o in a different outfit than usual.
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🌸 Post a screenshot of your f/o looking cute.
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(yea yea ik but tummy!!)
😳 Post a screenshot of your f/o that flusters you.
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i cant get a good photo of this scene but uh. uhhh. i will... admit hearing him yell "YOU'RE NOT JIGSAW BITCH!!" makes me go ape shitt. i want to fuck him so bad in this scene it does, in fact, make me look stupid.
ok now!! Lawrence!!
🤚 Post a screenshot of your f/o’s hand(s)!
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his hands make that cellphone look sooooo tiny i-
🎉 Post a screenshot of your f/o where they’re smiling/laughing/having a good time.
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he is such a good dad i love him sm i do i love him. thts my husband<3
👔 Post a screenshot of your f/o in a different outfit than usual.
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🌸 Post a screenshot of your f/o looking cute.
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hey look tummy... do u guys. see a pattern sdjkfhskjdjk
😳 Post a screenshot of your f/o that flusters you.
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minimitchell · 3 years
Note
From what youve read, do you know if it's just filters or do you think we could get in trouble for posting fan works of any kind (gifs, fic, fan art in particular)? Or maybe even for reblogging things like that?
okay so from what i've read (gonna link my sources down below) this law mostly concerns platforms like youtube, instagram or tiktok. it basically changes who's responsible for possible copyright infringements. with this law the responsibility lies with the website (youtube, instagram etc) to check whether copyright laws were broken or not. the main thing is that you're not allowed to make money of third party content. websites will basically have to buy licenses so users can upload certain content. a lot of websites are already doing that, for example instagram, who is linked with spotify so artists get money if someone uses their song in a story etc.
you're still allowed to post your own content. the only way it will get blocked is if the person holding the license (the bbc for example for ee) issues a claim afterwards. (like videos on youtube sometimes getting blocked due to copyright already). at least from what i read, nothing much should change on ao3 as long as you're not too close to the source material. i'd still recommend checking ao3's twitter though.
it sounds like the only thing that could happen is your gifs, art etc will get taken down by the site. i'm not sure if you'll be able to bypass possible upload filters with a vpn. (but that is if a website even chooses to implement a filter) and technically, gifs have never really been 100% legal because of copyright issues but have any shows really cared about this on tumblr until now anyway lmao
by the way to my german followers: cdu and spd voted for this law, grüne abstained from the vote and only linke and fdp (and afd) voted against it. so maybe keep that in the back of your mind for the upcoming election.
german sources: tagesschau article (+who voted what) bundesregierung official site
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higadlongcake · 4 years
Text
Heneral Luna, a movie review
By chance I was able to check out the full movie in Youtube; I had always looked forward for free time to watch this and another movie, Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral. But this one came first; better late than nothing!
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Heneral Luna is a biopic of the titular historical figure, Antonio Luna. While it has placed a disclaimer at first that certain parts were added—the film has used creative deviations to highlight certain nuances which, we may know or not, would have been in their minds and hidden sentiments before. 
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The nuances were not all-serious; certain scenes provided ample comic relief or surprise factors that would likely refuse a sleepy watcher from dozing off completely.
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There lies a lace of intimacy which easily captures a contemporary perspective, even if some of the scenes were fictitious or “composites”.
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 The differences of customs before and now would have made it akin to a moving still, but naturalness was clearly evoked with the choice of angles and points-of-views.
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But it is not the naturalness per se that made the film pop; it is how it shows what can be considered an act of heroism with the humanness—the fragility, after all, of the characters. How Luna's character was depicted—hotheaded or composed at his will—is a plausible representation of who he was in his day, based on contemporary perspectives. 
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The character and scene depictions faithfully followed those of the archival images and records, though there are a few inaccuracies such as Fort Santiago lacking its second floor structure and the sculpture (Fortsan lost this structure after World War II) and the fiber clothing being replaced with modern alternatives (the fabrics are apparently machine-embroidered see-throughs). Inconsistencies shall not be perceived as mere errors; the point here is about authenticity weighed with practicality. This, regardless, is a notable move which I think raises the standard even higher for Filipino historical fillms.
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Exterior vistas were depicted but not at best, as the current state of Philippine heritage, and the railroad at Northern Luzon being defunct would barely permit such extensive creative liberty. Such a workaround by recreating interiors proved to be an impressive alternative. Though still, the lack of exteriors felt low-key alienating.
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Overall, the props are given a sense of life and the production managed to compensate strategically with structural interiors relevant at that time and logical blocking making the height assumptions seem right.
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Aside from depicting the titular character without the glossy “hero” branding, I think the best asset of Heneral Luna lies on creativity within the box coming from outside.
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The film also shows glimpses of other aspects of Luna's life and relations, from his family to fellow illustrados—Filipinos of his time who were upperclassmen, enlightened, and had opportunities to study abroad.  In this short time, the brief recount appears to be a coalescence of a dreamlike state and a dialogue, and is a wink to a closeness between the brothers Antonio and Juan.
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The dialogues and solo shots alternating in the film reinforced a sense of life, that beyond the colorized photo color grading, this is a person that once lived that is breathing beneath the big screen, and he was more than a brilliant military tactician.
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The full movie is posted in TBA Studios’ Youtube if you wish to check it out. 
youtube
I do not own any of the screencaps, though those also happen to be my favorite scenes. (I just did not include one which is a very brilliant choice of blocking and allegory; see it for yourself!)
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