#=) not that i would know what thats like hahahaha.... ha...

[dittolicous]

part three of raging stealth black!sanji i guess! (part one - part two)

sanji is very aware that he's just a means to an end. that he's being lied to and used and manipulated. he was given a butchered version of his 'life history' to make up for his amnesia, which included the strawhats abandoning him when he proved too weak and got hurt, something which he had no frame of reference to doubt when he first awoke from death

but if vinsmoke judge is anything, its being ridiculously bad at foresight and little details

honestly, how did he really expect to hide the relative truth with the strawhats being such big names? their journey has been documented, and while its clearly got some biases, sanji can read between the lines. little details are his *job*, thats all espionage is!

so, yeah. he knows hes being used to get the strawhat pirates, knows that he and his siblings are nothing but manufactured tools

it just adds another coal to the growing fire pit of rage in his stomach. its really all he can feel these days, this growing red hot anger, so bright that he perpetually, endlessly fights to keep flames from dancing along his form. he cant place it at first, has no reason to dislike his fathers hand on his shoulder the night he finally awakens, yet the weight lights something within him. his skin prickles where the hand had rested. he wants to scratch it off, to remove the tainted section of his body

he says nothing. good children are seen and not heard.... hes good, yes? right? thats... what he wants?

(can he even want? everything is so empty, so quiet... why-why-why-)

his brother's hollow laughter, the smell of bins full of rotting food, the bubble-filled cloning tubes, the taste of his sisters poison in the air as it lays waste to their enemies, the joyous smile on his fathers face...

sanji also knows he shouldn't be able to feel, yet he can very clearly name this white hot feeling taking root deep within him - rage, unabashed and uncontrollable

when hes not dreaming of sea salt, citrus, or distant laughter, he dreams of vinsmoke blood staining the ground, of satisfaction as his heels dig into ribs, of inflicting every wound they ever gave him right back at them (an odd thing, his waking mind supplies, seeing as his family has never hurt him...), of crushing the shells to the sailing snails which house this tyrannical kingdom

he had hoped to exorcize the demons haunting his dream by gathering knowledge, hence why he sought outside information sources (ie where ever judge deemed worth attacking), surely these unbiased sources would clear away this doubt that should never have exsisted!

instead the roots of his vitriol are set. there is no going back to sanji that woke to his family's supposedly loving faces

they are warmongers, destroyers... liars... they take more than they could ever need or desire... he isn't a son or brother, hes nothing more than another plunder of victory. a walking symbol of their prowess

what do these fools even hope to achieve with their senseless grapples for power? kingdoms?? glory of germa66? scientific might?

don't make him laugh

sanji might only be a means to an end, but so are they, not that those arrogent buffoons even realize

(he cannot say how he knows nor does he really care, but the danger of the world government runs deeper than any outsider could ever grasp - the five shadowy beasts of his dreams tell him so with guttural voices and air-tainting bloodlust)

all too soon it becomes clear that life is nothing but pointless suffering, engineered by tyrants just like vinsmoke judge, just like the shadow beasts whos screams having him waking in cold-sweats, there is no end... they are only free from this horrible cycle in the embrace of death. the dead cannot bleed nor starve nor struggling to breath through grief filled lungs. life is children sobbing over the prone form of their parents or hollowed faces taking mouthfuls of poisoned water to quiet aching stomachs...

the vinsmokes take blindly and foolishly, they took everything from him, took his life, his memories, his heart, left him nothing but a tense anger that leaves his muscles aching and fingers twitching to destroy, pride blinding them to the encroaching cliff into hell

if they wish for hell so badly, who is sanji to deny them? he will bring down the flames of hell and rip clean through the earth to deliver them personally. every sensless act of violence, every life taken without a blink of an eye, every drop of blood the fed the ground, sanji shall return tenfold, yet deny them the relief of death just as they stole him from his

he'll go along with their little plan to draw out the strawhat pirates, give them the easy satisfaction they desire, and just when they feel victory by the tips of their fingers.... they will learn what life is truly like by sanji's very own hands

(and if he holds tightly to the fleeting moments of calm like a balm on his burned exoskeleton, brought on by the face of his former captain or flashes of green from the perpetually lost swordsmen, no one has to know

none of it will matter in the end)

[alphabetboyluvr]

landslides - 001 | goldrush - jjk

part title credit: goldrush - taylor swift

everybody wonders what it would be like to love you... i can't dare to dream about you anymore... it never will be...

pairing: officeworker!jungkook x female reader (coworkers)

premise: jungkook asks you to dog sit over chuseok. he doesn't ask you to steal the empty spaces in his head, the dreams he's yet to have, nor the idea of you always just being 'you' to him - and yet, like a thief in the night (with his own damn dog as your accomplice), you do.

warnings: fluff more than angst, but it's not clean cut - there's also a touch of smut. office worker jk, fuck boy (but kind!) jk, mentions of his workplace escapades, oc is dating mingyu (yay), oc sorta fancies jk (boo), solo masturbation (m), vivid thoughts of shagging (jk is a perv! wow! unlike me to write him as randy bastard!), lots of facetime calls, oc and jk are fundamentally flawed as a pairing, genuine friendship, daddy kink? ig? but like kinda sweet?, jungkook has a complex brain house and you've been banished to his annexe!! he also has a thing for claw clipped hair lol

wordcount: 6.8K

note from holly: so... i dogsat (? idk if thats a word) for my friend last chuseok and this was the result hahahaha. my friends dog (boba <3) is so tiny and small!! but i've always been a big dog girlie so bam was fun to write. i really love this one and have recently found all of my old notes from around that time detailing the rest of the couples lives, so pt. 2 is in progress.

minors dni // cross posted to wattpad

Bam notices the storm roll in before you do. His ears twitch, head lifting from its rested perch on his paws.

“What’s up, baby? Hey?” You coo, his sudden shift obviously prompted by something. His snout begins to twitch, too, and his bottom lip shakes as a small growl vibrates from his throat. His eyes are on the window, stalking the clouds as they roll past. “Hey.”

You sit up a little straighter to lean forward and scratch behind his ear. He leans into it, but doesn’t take his eyes away from the sky.

“You see the rain, huh?” You hum, looking between the pup and the window ahead. You can’t place it yet - it’s too far in the distance - but you find yourself coming to sit beside him. He doesn’t lean up against you like he usually does. Just continues to lightly growl.

There’s no threat behind his noises, no malice - he’s just shouting back at the thunder you can’t hear. When you see a bolt of lightning flash in the distance just beyond the city skyline, you know that it won’t be long until Jungkook’s apartment block is drenched in the weather.

It’s just gone midnight when he calls. His face is a little puffy, smile a little lopsided.

“Hey Bammie,” he coos into the camera. You’ve got it angled down to where the pup is resting his head on your knee, peacefully unwinding after his long walk. Bam doesn’t stir at Jungkook’s voice, so he tries again. “Bammie?”

The way he elongates his puppy’s name is sweet - a tone of voice reserved only for his most trusted companion. He sure as hell has never spoken to you like that.

“Sorry, bud,” you say as you lift the camera up to your face. He’s pouting. “I don’t think the vibrations sound the same through the phone.”

“I miss him,” he says not even caring to acknowledge your thought process. “Is he okay? Was he good on his walk?”

“He’s all good,” you smile. “Best boy in the world. None of the other dogs you mentioned were down at the park, so it was just us two.”

He nods into the camera and purses his lips. “They might all be away. Visiting family.” He rolls over in his bed and lets out a yawn. “How’s the apartment? Got everything you need?”

You nod back. “All good. Might have eaten my way through your cheese stash already. I’m gonna shower then head to bed in a minute.”

“Make sure you leave the bathroom door open a little,” he says. “He’ll whine if not.”

“Will do.”

“Thank you,” he says. “I really appreciate you doing this. He hasn’t been too much work, has he?”

“He’s good as gold,” you say as you switch to the back camera. The view is serene, and Jungkook’s lips instantly settle into a smile. Bam is up on the sofa with you, snuggled against your lap. The skyline twinkles through his window, the reflection of his mood lamp obscuring some of it - but he’s quietly pleased that you’re using it. It’s how he normally winds down, too. Main lights off, galaxy on his ceiling. Must make Bam feel a little more at ease. You go to scratch behind his ear, and he huffs a little, all content and cosy. “Thanks for asking. He’s never too much work. You trained him well.”

“Hmm,” Jungkook hums. “Could have trained you a little better, though.”

He laughs when you switch the camera back to your face, mouth open, brows knitted together. “Me?!”

“Yes, you,” he grins now but tries to hide it; to restore the stoicism to his face. It doesn’t work. “What did I tell you about the sofas?”

You purse your lips together as if you’re not smiling. He’s got you there, admittedly.

“Look, he’s just so cute!” Despite the fact you’ve turned the camera back onto Bam, Jungkook can tell you’re pouting. “How could I say no?!”

“Easily!” Jungkook laughs. “That’s how he became so well trained! I leave for one night and-”

“Shuuuush,” you laugh, and when the camera switches back to you, Jungkook can’t help but let his smile persist. You look tired, and so does he, but there’s something about the call that has made you forget all about the fact you were planning on going to bed soon. “My swamp now. My rules.”

“My swamp,” he protests, but the look on his face is so saccharine that you can’t take him seriously. He thinks the same could be said for you. “Anyways, it’s late. Go get your shower. If you need more towels, there are some in the cupboard by the boiler. Don’t forget to turn the vent on - it’s the switch next to the light.”

“Alright, will do,” you nod and then yawn. Bam pricks his head up. “Hey baby,” you speak to him. “Did I wake you?”

“Show me him.”

You switch the camera around to where you’re scratching at Bam’s ear. He leans his head into the scratch, thoroughly enjoying it, your long nails far scratchier than Jungkook’s. It’s not the same - Jungkook is far stronger, so is a little rougher which suits Bam just fine. Still, he likes your scratches better than no scratches at all.

Jungkook whines. “I miss him.”

“He misses you, too. Want me to call in the morning?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “We’re up early tomorrow, heading over to Haedong Yonggungsa in the morning. Probably be up before you. Send me pictures though.”

“Will do. Night, buddy.”

“Night gremlin,” he smiles, and then begins to coo. “Night Bammie. Daddy misses you.”

He wishes you wouldn’t look at him in the way that you do when he says that; lips turned upwards at the very corners, dimples pressing into your cheeks, eyes bright.

“Shut up,” he says, but you’re already laughing.

“Daddy.”

“I am his dad!”

“Daddy.”

“Oh my god, fuck off,” he laughs. “Have nightmares, gremlin.”

“Sweet dreams, Daddy.”

“Fuck off!”

You hang up before he can protest your taunts any more, though he does text you one final ‘fuck off,’ and a reminder that you can bolt his front door if it will make you feel safer.

His apartment is in a high-rise, and his neighbourhood is far nicer than yours. You do the bolt up regardless, and think that it’s sweet that he considered your comfort enough to remind you about it.

Bam sits by the sliding door of the bathroom, the tips of his paws just teetering over the line of the door frame. He rests his head on his legs, snout angled towards the hallway. It still makes you feel a little weird. You don’t really want a dog watching you shower, even if he is a dog and has no real understanding of what’s happening - so you turn your back to him and just reassure yourself that Jungkook showers with the door open wide.

It’s a funny thing, to think about your co-worker’s showering habits. Not one that you’ve ever thought to indulge in before - but Jungkook would go ballistic if he heard you refer to him as your ‘co-worker.’ You’re friends. Pretty good ones, at that.

You’re level players at your company; earn the same wage, hold the same rank. There’s not really any competition between the pair of you - you work in different departments - but are often paired together when the two sections merge for joint projects. You make for a good team.

Over the years, you and Jungkook have also learned that you’re a highly capable team when it comes to playing beer pong against your colleagues on Friday nights, and at the mixed-doubles tennis tournament that your company insists on you participating in every year. It’s either that or be on the Christmas Party Planning committee, and you know which you’d rather do.

Thinking about tinsel in August? No, thank you.

There is however one crucial flaw to your partnerships: how you live your lives. How you manage your money.

See, Jungkook is frugal. He makes big investments - his apartment, his cars, games consoles, Bam. Doesn’t spunk his cash away on the small shit. His apartment is in the heart of the city, only a few floors from the very top. He gets a birds-eye view of the world around him. You don’t even want to imagine how much his deposit cost.

Probably more than you have in your savings. You do spunk your cash away - on the small shit, no less. Clothes, cafes, that sort of stuff. Nothing that holds permanence. It frustrates Jungkook to no end. He thinks you could have a better life if you just used your money wisely - but you’re happy in your slightly cramped apartment, happy when the serotonin of a shopping spree boosts your mood, happy when you’re laughing with your friends over coffee and cake.

You wouldn’t be happy if you felt restricted. You think that Jungkook is.

He disagrees. He has enough in the bank to buy whatever he wants. He has financial freedom.

But there’s a difference. You’re both free in your own ways.

It’s for that reason you’d never work as a couple. Would infuriate one another far too much. Everyone who is close to you both knows this; how badly suited you would be. They’ll joke about all of the women in the office trying to get their mitts on Jungkook - even the married ones - but not you.

It’s funny because they’re right. Everybody wants him.

He collects stars from their eyes and accumulates them in his own. The girls blush and giggle about how he looks at them with galaxies, but they don’t realise what a thief he is. Don’t realise he’s stolen their shine, and incorporated it into his own. A spotlight follows him, and you enjoy watching the show unfold with an amused grin whenever a new secretary catches his gaze for the first time.

It’s not intentional. You don’t think Jungkook realises he does it. In fact, he hadn’t realised that it was such a pattern of behaviour until the midnight squalor of a dive bar had you talking about office conquests, and how the photocopier room had seen his bare ass more than it had seen toner changes.

“Shouldn’t shit where you eat, Jeon,” you’d grinned.

“Firstly, that’s a horrible phrase - and secondly, it takes two to tango. They’re just as much to blame as I am.”

But they’re not. He’s the only repeat offender.

“And anyways,” he had deflected, sinking down the final dregs of his beer. “Don’t act like you’re some kind of saint. Everyone’s fucked a colleague at least once.”

You’d just raised an eyebrow.

“You’re telling me you haven’t?”

“Like I said - shouldn’t shit where you eat, Jeon.”

Now, if he’d have said housemate, you would have folded. Downed your drink. Ordered a repeat round.

Something about a shared space - domestication - really gets you. It’s joint laundry loads, shared dinners, movie nights; grocery shopping, D.I.Y. furniture, arguments about who gets the bigger room. More often than not, it never matters, ‘cause you just end up staying in theirs.

You live alone now. After the third time, you knew better than to let yourself fall into the trap once more.

He learns about your affliction a few months later, and goes on tease you relentlessly.

In fact, he mentions it when he propositions you a few weeks before Chuseok. You had both spent the last couple of holiday periods overworked, slogging through the festivities. For the first time since either of you can remember, your workload has eased up.

You’ve already told him you’re planning on doing sweet, sweet fuck all. You’ve told your family you will be working, because you just want to finally breathe for a while; stay in with a tub of ice cream and your favourite films. Speak to no one. Do nothing.

“I’ve got a favour to ask you,” he had said as he approached your desk before the end of the day. It was a Friday, but you weren’t heading for after-work drinks with the usual suspects like you typically did. You had a date, instead. A third one with the same guy - Mingyu - which felt like a miracle. Even Jungkook was a little shocked that the poor guy wasn’t sick of you.

“Go on,” you had mused as you checked over your to-do list for the following week.

“You gotta promise me something first.”

“Promise you what?”

“That you won’t fall in love with me.”

You’d swatted him away the ruler on your desk, and told him to get his head out of his ass. “Been able to resist your charms this long, Jeon. Give me some credit.”

“It’s only ‘cause you know I’d reject you, you little gremlin.”

“I thought you wanted a favour? Funny way of going about it.”

“Sorry, sorry. You’re right,” he had conceded with an apologetic smile. “Forgive me.”

“What do you want?”

“How would you feel about potentially staying at mine over Chuseok to look after Bam? My parents want us to head down to Busan for the weekend and see relatives seeing as I’m finally free and know it’s a big ask but I-”

“Oh my God, yes?!” You had smiled so wide Jungkook thought you might fracture your jaw.

You love Bam.

In fact, he might just be your favourite thing about Jungkook.

Occasionally you walk him with Jungkook on the weekends, when you’re both hungover and need to get out of a slump. You’ve grown up with pets, but moving to the city in your early twenties to pursue your career meant apartment living.

You’re a rural girl deep down, and would never want to keep a pet in a high rise.

Jungkook manages it, but he goes home at lunchtime to walk Bam during the winter. In the summer, when it’s too hot, he goes home at lunch regardless, to lounge around with Bam under the air con.

Sometimes, you go with him. Bam is always pleased to see you.

Jungkook lied and said he asked around because he didn’t want to inconvenience you.

Truth is, he wouldn’t have trusted anyone else with his baby. He’d never spent a night away from Bam. Hated the idea. Despised it, in fact. He would have just taken Bam with him to Busan, but didn’t think it would be fair to force him on the journey from Seoul.

Over in Busan, when Jungkook hangs up, the conversation isn’t over. It continues in his head.

“Hey, wait…”

“Mhhm?”

“You just… look nice tonight, that’s all.”

He thinks you’d blush. Would tell him to lay off the soju. Accuse him of getting too drunk for a family get-together. He’d let you. Would take the beating of your false accusations, because it would be far easier than admitting he’s not had a single drop.

He thinks of the hug he’ll give Bam when he gets home; how wild his tail will waggle, how he’ll jump all over the place, and how you’ll be giggling. In his mind, you’ll be smiling just as wide as he is.

You’d stay for dinner. Jungkook would order from your favourite place to say thank you. Bam would snuggle up to Jungkook - on the sofa - and you’d be on the other side, stroking his back. He’d be happy. Bam, not Jungkook. But also Jungkook. Hopefully you, too.

When the time would approach for you to go home, you’d offer to help. Rinse out the containers. Hair up in a claw clip, t-shirt off your shoulder like it so often is.

Jungkook doesn’t notice, but his hands begin to trail down his body as he thinks of you. His phone is still on his chest, rising and falling with every beat of his heart. The tips of his fingers stroke against his skin.

He thinks of you laughing with him about something inconsequential. You’d flick water in his direction when he’d make some joke at your expense. It’d all be in good humour.

But then he’d flick some back at you, and water war would break out. Bam would run excitedly between the pair of you, Jungkook chasing you around the kitchen island with wet hands - and you’d do the exact same back. You’d flick water over the counter, tap still running and he’d call you a gremlin.

There’s a smile on his lips as he thinks of his. His hands roam further south. He’s ticking at his abdomen. It’s nice. Feels calm. He likes to engage his senses when he thinks of scenarios like these. Makes it feel more real.

But then he’s thinking of your shirt and the fact it’s white.

And then he’s imagining catching up with you, holding you captive as he angles the tap towards your face. You’ll be shrieking and scrambling to get away, Bam by your feet, Jungkook laughing.

He’d relent, but only enough for you to twist to face him.

Jungkook’s fingers are by his thighs. Stroking. Caressing. He’s avoiding his cock. Knows it’s firm. His index finger spreads to his balls. Teases.

And then he thinks of your body pressed against his torso, your ass to the counter.

You’d both be soaked.

He’d look at your lips. Look in your eyes. Feel your chest against his. He’d swallow hard.

It’s at this point he forgets about Bam in the scenario. It’s just you and him.

His palm rests over the length of his cock. Presses down. His hips roll.

He’d tell you that you’ve made a mess. You’d tell him to clean it up. His heart would be racing. So would yours.

And it’s funny, because his heart actually is. It’s beating so fucking hard in his childhood bedroom, that he thinks his parents must be able to hear it through the walls.

He’s in a far-too-firm single bed, but in his head, he’s with you in his kitchen.

He begins to grip his cock, long fingers wrapping around his shaft. He pulls up. Pushes back down. Says your name. Whines.

He doesn’t even really realise he’s doing it.

Just thinks about you.

Thinks about the way it would feel to sink his lips into yours; the first bite of a forbidden fruit. Thinks about that quick tongue of yours, and if it would be just as quick to find its way into his mouth. Thinks about your manicured nails that Bam loves so much, and how they’d scratch against his scalp instead. Thinks about the way his hips would rock against you, kind of like they are now; pulsing beneath his duvet.

His mind jumps. Skips the foreplay. Doesn’t mean to - but the thoughts are intrusive. Insidious. Insatiable. He can’t help it.

He pushes up into his hand. Pauses. Waits out the feeling. Retracts. Repeats.

In his head, it’s you that he’s pushing into.

The sensation is entirely different, granted, but - fuck - he hasn’t gotten himself off all week and hasn’t had sex in far longer, so it all feels the same to him.

He hasn’t worked out the mental logistics.

His imagination is jumping from the kitchen to his bedroom and then back to the kitchen again. Can’t decide where all of this is happening - and then suddenly, he finds himself railing you in the utility room.

You’re perched above the washer, held in place by him. He can smell the laundry detergent. He’s got spotlights in the room, but they’re turned off. Only lights from the hallway and the city skyline illuminate you.

It’s obscure. The shadows in his head conceal you a little. He’s gripping your waist beneath your shirt. The baby gate which keeps Bam out of the laundry room is closed.

You’re not talking, just fucking, fucking, fucking and -

“Fuck,” he whines, hand is jerking at his cock, heart rate stuttering.

He shouldn’t be thinking about you like this.

Shouldn’t let his mind jump again to a point where you’re fucking naked, and your sodden shirt is on a pile of yet-to-be-done laundry.

But then it jumps again, and one of his towels is on the floor. He’s laying down, back against it. The same position that he’s in now in his childhood bedroom - but he’s thinking about you. The silhouette of your body. The warm curves of your body. The way you bounce on his cock and then-

Oh god, it’s torture the way his cock throbs. Pre-cum leaks from his tip as his speed builds. It’s just a fantasy. Nothing more nothing less. But it’s you. And then he’s thinking about pulling you down for a kiss, and the scent of your perfume and the way you’d moan into his mouth and then his legs are shaking, torso tensing.

He’s taking it too far. Too fucking far. You. Fuck. He can’t. But he doesn’t stop. Just keeps going. Fucks his hand like it’s your pussy.

He’s pulling himself closer, closer, closer, and then he thinks about your voice, and the way you called him Daddy, and he can’t help himself. The pressure that releases in his stomach is catastrophic. Jungkook mewls your name. Calls you baby. Unloads all over himself. White hot cum paints his belly. Seeps into his belly button. Makes a mess of his hand as he coaxes the last few ropes out. It’s been a while since his last nut, but the amount he produces is not fucking normal.

It rolls down the side of his toned torso, Jungkook swallowing harshly as he tries to regulate his breathing. He doesn’t think he can. Doesn’t know what to do with himself. Just kind of lays there. Curses. Knots his brows together. Is frustrated with himself.

You’ve been friends for years. He’s never done anything like this before. He chalks it up to nothing more than him just being a little too horny for his own good. Cleans himself off. Puts his phone on charge. Berates himself for being a piece of shit. Spends a good ten or so minutes staring at the ceiling with an empty head before he falls asleep.

And it’s funny, because when you wake up in the morning, panties damp, the dream you had about Jungkook railing you in his own damn bed, you find yourself looking across the space where he usually sleeps. You reach ouch. Stroke the emptiness. Curse. Spend the rest of the day unbearably horny. It frustrates you. Makes you snappy with Jungkook when he calls.

He asks if you’ve seen Mingyu. You tell him no. He says maybe you should - but makes sure to add, “He’s still not allowed in my apartment.”

“I’m not gonna bring anyone into your space, Jungkook.”

It’s something he knows, and something he trusts you not to do, but he’s still reinforcing boundaries. Making sure that there are still some left. He thinks that if he pushes you closer to someone else, it will sort his brain out. Alleviate him of the guilt that he’s feeling.

But you don’t see Mingyu.

When Jungkook calls again that evening to find you walking Bam alone, he’s pleased. Doesn’t want some guy you’re fucking anywhere near his most prized possession. Bam, that is. Not you. But now that he thinks of it, he finds he doesn’t want Mingyu anywhere near you, either.

“Good day?” You ask, voice a lot lighter than it had been earlier.

Jungkook nods, but he doesn’t really smile. “I miss Bammie.”

You pout. “He misses you too. He’s gonna be so excited when you get home.”

The camera switches to the back camera so he can watch Bam bound along the path. He’s on his lead, snout sniffing in all the flowerbeds. It’s dark out, but there are enough lights on the trail for him to be able to see clearly.

“How is he? Eating okay? Going to the bathroom okay?”

“Eating like a champ, and producing shits to confirm that,” you say flatly. It’s definitely your least favourite part of animal ownership - but the reward is so much greater than having to pick up shit off a sidewalk.

“That’s my boy,” Jungkook grins, before turning his focus to you. “You all good? Seemed a little stressed earlier.”

Jungkook’s expression doesn’t change when the front camera flips back to you, but he finds his heart racing again. When you turn your head to check the car that’s driving past, he notices your hair is up with a claw clip. Just like it was in his… thoughts about you the night before. He likes how attentive you are - how you checked the source of the noise. You’re protective. Follow your instincts. Thinks you’re the best person he could have asked to look after Bam.

“I’m all good,” you say, and you really are.

“I know it’s not exactly the relaxing Chuseok you were planning-”

“Jungkook, it’s fine,” you smile. “It’s been nice. I like Bammie far more than I like you.”

“Understandable.”

You both smile, and Jungkook begins to babble about his day, telling you stories about his parents, and his weird cousin who never knows when to not say inappropriate things, and the aunt who keeps trying to set him up with all of her friends’ daughters.

“Don’t shit where you eat,” you remind him. “Sounds too close to home. Your auntie would never be out of your business.”

“I know, I know,” he rolls his eyes. “And hey - it’s been, like, a year since I last did that! Cut me some slack, gremlin. Anyways, Mingyu works in our building. You’re basically shitting where you eat.”

“I’m actually… I think I’m gonna cool things off with him.”

“Oh?”

“It’s like not a big deal. I’m just not really feeling it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, you’re right. I’m not,” Jungkook admits, but is sombre as he does so. He remembers how happy you’d seemed after the first few dates. “But I am sorry that you haven’t found the right guy yet, gremlin.”

“Who knows, maybe I’ll find the love of my life at the dog park tonight.”

“You are not allowed to use my baby as a flirting tactic.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Too late - I’m already here and there is an absolute DILF. Byeeeee.”

“Wait, no-”

You hang up before he can finish, with a grin on your face to rival a Cheshire cat.

The park is empty. Not a single DILF in sight. You ignore his call when he rings back. Will let him sweat it for a bit.

Jungkook lies awake that night.

Doesn’t do much.

His family are still chatting in the sitting room, but he can’t draw himself away from the sanctuary of his own private space, where your voice is still echoing around the room. He’s starting to understand why you’d been craving your space so much for the holiday period.

He doesn’t wanna have to return to the room with a false smile, and a feeling in the pit of his stomach that could rival the ache of getting the ferry across Busan harbour during monsoon season.

Doesn’t want to form cognitive thoughts that distract him from his mindless reflections of you.

Jungkook’s mind works like a house, and right now he’s in the annexe.

He rarely ever goes in there.

Finds he gets too comfortable and neglects the rest of the house. He’s got a garden to tend to, a kitchen to clean, and beds to make - but why would he leave the annexe when it has everything he needs? He’s comfortable there.

It’s normally reserved for the hyper-fixations he’s trying not to fixate on. He locks them away. Hasn’t really visited since he got hooked on GTA5 when he should have been studying for the University Entrance Exam. It’s still there, and he knows better than to pop it in his games console - but there’s someone else on the couch, now. It’s not just him in his mind-annexe. Someone’s in his space. He daren’t let himself go further into the room.

In fact, he’s desperately trying to jump across to the main house. Get himself out of the thoughts that are gonna consume him. He needs to close that God damn door.

But he watches the figure like a car crash. He’s scared. Unable to look away.

Not for fear of it being a monster hidden in the depths of his mind.

Quite the opposite, actually.

Monsters don’t wear their hair up with butterfly-shaped claw clips, or let the clasp of their necklace trail down their spine like that. Monsters don’t twist their back out of habit just to make it click. Monsters don’t spend their days doodling in a journal like the figure on his couch is doing.

But you do.

An iteration of Bam rests up against Jungkook’s leg in his mind, nose wet, tail lightly wagging, so he puts his hand on his pup’s shoulder for comfort. To support him. To guide him away from the annexe and back into the damn main house.

“C’mon,” he says to Bam, expecting him to leave. Expecting him to follow his commands.

It’s his head, after all - but Bam doesn’t heed his commands. Instead, his claws click against the hardwood floor and towards the figure on Jungkook’s couch. A palm outstretches, and Bam leans into it. Hums in content as a set of dark nails scratch at his ear.

“Hey, baby Bammie,” the figure sings and Jungkook knows that voice. Knows it so well that it’s hardly a surprise it’s embedded into his brain so perfectly.

And he knows.

He knows if he lets the person turn around exactly who it’s gonna be. He knows that he can’t let it happen. He won’t.

Because he and you are friends; nothing more, nothing less. Incompatible at best. A match made in hell; so wrong it could never be right.

Jungkook sits up. Shakes his head. The world in his mind tears away into darkness. He stands and tells himself to get a grip before joining his family. He needs the distraction. Needs to have cognitive thoughts. Can’t let himself get trapped. Can’t let him kid himself into thinking that you’re anything more than his friend.

It’s just cause he’s missing Bam, he reasons. Emotions are getting all mixed up. It’s the affection he feels for his beloved best friend that is getting misplaced onto you - although, if he thinks about it (which he won’t (knows better by this point (knows his mind can’t be trusted to behave))), he’d realise that you are his best friend.

It’s unfair to compare you to Bam because you’re an entirely different species, but there’s no other human he likes better than you.

One more day, and he’ll be home. One more day, and he won’t have to call you when he’s all sleepy and confused over his feelings. One more day, and things will be back to normal. One more measly day.

And then he’ll be reunited with Bam, and he won’t have the stress of family or thinking about the week of work ahead to contend with.

One more day. He can do this.

He will do it. Will barrel home at the speed of lightning; will stop only for red lights and maybe the occasional gas station snack, potato spirals on a pointed wooden skewer and deep-fried chicken slathered in a sauce he can never quite figure out the recipe for.

He’ll think about picking you up some bungeoppang - the ones filled with choux, not red bean paste - because he knows that you adore it so. There have been occasions when you’ve begged him to drive you out of the city to the large gas station out West just so you could have bungeoppang from one specific stall.

The signage is faded, and the prices haven’t changed since 2009, but that’s how you know it’s the good shit. A family recipe batter passed down for generations. The woman who makes it is always the same, and though she never remembers you, you always remember her. Beam so brightly Jungkook thinks he’s going blind whenever you spot her.

It’s only because of that one time you’d showed up with the sole mission to retrieve some of the delicious delicacies, only to be confronted with a handwritten ‘closed today, back tomorrow’ note taped to the menu. You never know when the next family emergency or trip out of town might be for your beloved bungeoppang-making Ajumma.

It’s a little after midday when Jungkook’s car rolls into the gas station. He’ll be home soon.

He tells himself that he’s just doing as he always does. Will get his tornado potato. Wolf it down. Go back for some chicken, maybe some tteok.

He’s stayed out of the annexe today. Doesn’t even think about the doorway because he knows the magnetic pull is far too strong for his cobalt heart.

Had ignored your call this morning - sorry, just saying goodbye to everyone. will see you later. - and had pushed all thoughts of you to the side. He’s even tried to stop thinking about Bam because thoughts of him will inevitably lead to thoughts of you and Jungkook is getting dizzy, quite frankly. It’s like he’s chasing his tail, never knowing when to admit defeat.

At least Bam gets enjoyment out of it when he does it. All Jungkook gets is lingering feelings of remorse.

But as he hits the home straight, a small paper bag full of choux bungeoppang cooling down on his passenger seat, his head starts to clear. He’s fixed the lock on the gate that leads to the annexe. Won’t go down that path.

Jungkook arrives ahead of schedule. Parks his car, and doesn’t tell you he’s arrived. Leaves his bag in the boot of the car, but picks up the pastries from his passenger seat.

Opens the door of his apartment quietly. You don’t hear it. Are too busy dancing around the living room with Bam to some mid-noughties classic.

“Hey,” you laugh a little breathlessly as finally notice him. He’s leaning against the wall. Is wearing his glasses, to make up for the long drive. You think it’s a crying shame he doesn’t wear them at work, too.

“Was I interrupting something?”

“No, not all,” you say. There are deep creases below your eyes, testament to the size of your smile. “Me and baby Bammie-” you reach over and stroke at his sides, a little rough and tumble, but perfectly joyous “- were just burning off a little energy before you got home.”

Jungkook crouches, arms outstretched for Bam. The puppy knocks into Jungkook’s chest, legs all moving slightly out of coordination, excitable whines sounding in his throat. His tail wags so fast you think he’d be able to produce electricity if he really tried.

They match each other’s energy; delirious happiness, content only when in one another’s presence.

“Hey buddy,” he coos. “Daddy’s home. I missed you. Missed me too, hey? C’mere.”

His strong hands stroke Bam’s sides, and you watch how playful they both are with unadulterated awe. It seems absurd how similar the two of them are; man and his best friend.

“He was lost without you,” you confirm.

“It’s that right?” Jungkook pouts as he scratches behind Bam’s ears, cradling his face in his hands. “Did Bammie miss Daddy?”

Bam barks. Yes.

“Hey, I’m sorry, boy. I’m home now, though. Daddy’s home.”

Yes, you think. Yes, he is.

The night dissolves much like Jungkook thought it would. You stay for dinner. Watch crappy entertainment shows, and laugh at how absurd people can be. There’s warmth in his apartment, even though he hasn’t turned the heating on.

“You’ll never know how much I appreciate this,” Jungkook says softly as midnight approaches. Bam sighs. There’s rain on the windows, but the storm doesn’t bother him tonight. Not in the slightest. “Thank you.”

Your head shakes. Smile perseveres. “Happy to do it. You know how much I love Bam.”

Silence wraps around your words like a velvet bow, pulled taut. There’s no double knot, but there needn’t be. It isn’t unravelling any time soon.

“So,” you change topic. “How long do you reckon it will take the new secretary to fall in love with you? I’m thinking maybe four days.”

Jungkook wants to make a joke; tease you about how your mind jumped from how much you love his dog, to the idea of loving him. Not you loving him, granted, but it only took a few electrical signals between neurons for you to get there. Must associate him with love pretty closely.

“Four days? Far too quick.” Jungkook pauses. “You’ve been staying here for four days. Reckon that’s an appropriate amount of time to fall in love with someone?”

He’s being facetious. It’s all in jest and yet you feel your heart beat a little faster. Only for a moment. There’s a mild concern in your features, fearful that he can somehow sense the thoughts you’ve been having; the fantasies, the daydreams, the moments of weakness.

You look at him with eyes he doesn’t recognise. Your lashes are low. Sultry, even. Suggestive. Teasing.

And then, they roll.

“Jeon, you have those poor girls on their knees within a single ‘hello’. Don’t act like you don’t know it, you big old flirt.”

“If Bam wasn’t so peaceful, I’d kick you,” he mumbles, stroking at the dark fur behind his pup’s ear. Bam sighs, content to have him back. There’s a smile on Jungkook’s lips. Both are perfectly content. Both are happy to be with the people they like the most in the world.

“He’d just defend me,” you taunt. There’s a serenity to your jokes, and light-hearted banter that means nothing more, nothing less than just enjoyment of one another’s company. “I’m his favourite now.”

Jungkook laughs. Scratches a little firmer behind Bam’s ear. “You hear that, boy? Gremlin really thinks you’d choose her over me.”

You pull your torso back. Turn your body to face his. Let disbelief wash over your features, as if Jungkook saying shit like that’s a surprise. The movement alerts Bam, his head lifting, the chain links of his collar rattling. He looks over to you, then back to Jungkook.

“He LOVES me.”

“I thought dogs are supposed to take after their owners, though?” Jungkook teases. “And I can’t fuckin’ stand you.”

Your playful shock dissolves into narrowed eyes and a suppressed grin. Bam’s looking at you again, so you cup his dainty face and scratch the underside of his jaw. “You hear that, baby Bammie? How are you so lovely when your Daddy is such an asshole?”

Jungkook’s steady gaze lifts to you from Bam. You’re still cooing at the puppy, scratching beneath his snout, but Jungkook’s back in that damn annexe again. He isn’t smiling - but his eyes are unbelievably soft.

So, so velvety. Like satin, maybe; ribbons tied around ponytails. Brushed cotton, perhaps; his still-warm bedsheets fresh out of the tumble dryer.

Soft, like he imagines your hair would be; released from its claw clip, falling around his face. Soft, like he imagines your lips would be; pressed against his, in the privacy of his bedroom. Soft, like he imagines your laugh would be; soundtracking the living alarm clock that is Jeon Bam, as he bundles onto Jungkook’s bed at just gone six-thirty the following morning.

But then you look up at him, and his stare is hard. Still sparkling, yes - but diamonds, not stars. Concrete speckled. Pennies tossed in an empty well; the steel bolt of his door which keeps the outside world at bay.

Hard, like he imagines your teeth would be; tugging on his bottom lip in the shadows of his bedroom. Hard, like he imagines your nails would be; leaving a trail of ruby red sin down his back. Hard, like he imagines your laboured breaths would be; lips resting ajar against his, your very essence pouring into him as he pushes into you.

Hard. Soft. Confusing and conflicting, and just so unbelievably him.

“What?” you question, bemused by the way his demeanour changed. “‘Daddy’ really gets you, huh?”

“Does fuck all for me,” he says with a little temperance, but there’s a smirk on his lips. His tongue runs along the inside of his cheek.

A few have tried the moniker on him, but it never fit well. Would fall from their lips and crash to his bedroom floor. He’d just kiss them to shut them up.

But you… You have him reconsidering. Have him a little hot beneath his sweats.

It’s not really the idea of being your Daddy, but the concept of being one full-stop that has him adjusting his legs slightly. He’s a man of big investments, after all. No greater investment than starting a life with another person. He likes the idea of it.

Makes him think of you talking with a toddler - I’m not sure, baby, go ask Daddy -and the pitter-patter of feet across the hardwood floors of his apartment. Makes him think how gentle you are with Bam, and how wonderful he knows you’d be with a kid. Makes him think all kinds of shit he’s never let himself indulge in before.

When he goes to bed that evening, and his sheets are seeped in the scent of your perfume, he thinks of it all over again.

Thinks of you.

And realises he can’t think about you without his heart racing, any more.

The door of the annexe in his mind is broken, now. Off its hinges.

And apparently, so is he.

Shit.

part two (x)

[i-cant-sing]

average day for president kai and first lady y/n and ofc we can’t forget baldwin and y/n

Hahahaha definitely. And can you see the woman in the painting smirking? Oh she's definitely Y/n cause she knows she has him whipped.

I can just imagine President Kai dropping his ego when Y/n begins packing her bags to leave his sorry ass because she found out the secret clause in the contract. She does not care that she is unable to divorce him because whomp whomp- Kai's contract requires her to pay him back every cent she's spent of his money, leaving her in a huge debt. But too bad for Kai, because we have Mr AFO, aka Y/n's sugar daddy-> lover, to pay off your debt, and now that Y/n knows what a selfish douche Kai is, it wont be hard for AFO to woo her again.

So Kai, first resorts to threats- threatens to ruin your reputation (he cant, youre loved by everyone, even if youre oblivious to that), threatens to take away the kids (he cant, the kids hate him, and even if he did, AFO would manage to rescue them too). And when threats dont work and you continue to walk away silently, his resolve crumbles. He grabs you, he stops you, he falls to his knees, he asks what it would take? What it would take to make this marriage work? What would it take to make you love him like he loves you? What it would take to make you stay?

"Nothing." You say, but when you try to push him away, he pulls you towards him and thats when you see the murderous glint in his eyes.

"If you leave, Y/n- if you leave, I will start a war." He tightens his grip around your struggling wrists. "Nuclear war."

His other hand comes up to caress your jaw.

"Are you prepared to have that bloodshed on your hands?"

[bigfatbimbo]

We don't know a lot about how Bill's species reproduces so breeding kink could be really confusing for all parties involves. Exhibit A: Bill w/ partner that ids as female and has a uterus. He attempts dirty talk along the lines of "If we keep this up I'm gonna make you a daddy!" and they're like wait what

HAHAHAHA NO STOP, THATS SO FUNNY. Bill drops that line and the reader just stops what they’re doing for a second and is like, “..what?” In all seriousness though, you’re so right, it would be so confusing.

Honestly, I don’t imagine Bill’s geometrical species reproduce even CLOSE to how humans do. That’s one of the reasons I don’t think a breeding kink would be very probable, but I guess if we’re just having fun, maybe that’s what makes him interested in the whole process of like “human procreation.” Which might lead him to get a few facts wrong!

[thisismeracing]

Everything has changed | CL16

Pairing: black!fem!reader (she/her pron.) x charles leclerc

Warnings: curse words, twitter environment, fluffffff, not proofread etc etc. Minors DNI!

Summary: Y/n, a famous singer, drops a song that is more like a letter confessing her feelings, and some fans are convinced it’s about F1 golden boy Charles Leclerc.

a/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. everything else is made up by me and I do not give permission for it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

a/n2: Last imagine I wrote for Charles (Babe) was angsty, so I thought I could do something fluff just because 🫶🏾

my masterlist | my taglist

itsmeyn

liked by lizzobeating, dualipa and others

itsmeyn New music coming soon ❣️

view all 10,809 comments

ynsunny I love the whole red thing going on! Can't wait for the song to drop

lovelyn1998 I wonder whose handwriting is this...

⤷ popynyln the crazies do be crazying huh

zendaya ❤️❤️❤️❤️

ynfrance WE ARE READY!!!!

portalyln new album when, queen?

fanuser wake up, mother, theyre creating theories about you on twitter

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, lewishamilton and others

charles_leclerc back home 💙

view all 8904 comments

sainzandrussel rest and get ready ❤️‍🔥 lets go!

lechairles IS THAT A SOFT LAUNCH????

ynandleclerc That’s absolutely a black girl and that is absolutely Yn Yln

⤷ oned1ream AND SHES WEARING HIS SHIRT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

charles1999 where are the pap pics, he must’ve paid them, not possible…

⤷ ynisland if this pic is really her, maybe. She’s able to pull that sometimes

f1hundreds Idc about anything, he looks happy 🥹

popynyln what if the crazies were into something?????

⤷ biebershawn well, at least the fact that charles is with someone they got right eh? hahah

⤷ redmercedes but that last pic is not proof of a relationship, its just a picture

⤷ biebershawn have you ever heard about SOFT launch?

ynportal waiting patiently for her username to pop on the likes… cmon, yn, I dont have all day

itsmeyn

liked by yourbestfriend, spaceykacey and others

itsmeyn It feels so good to be home! ❤️

view all 14,670 comments

sunshineyln EXCUSE ME??? Who gave you the right to look this pretty???

delutifosi y’all know where this is right? is yn by any means Monegasque?

⤷ lovelyn1998 what do you think she means by “home”, bestie? 😇😇 the bullies are owning us an apologyyyy

⤷ ynfrance I CANT BELIEVE U GUYS WERE RIGHT OMG hahahaha

ynwinter she thinks she slick, the whole internet already knows, mother

taylorandyn nice soft launch, except some people figured it out weeks ago lol

midnightyn so you’re telling me not only she’s in Monte Carlo with Charles but she’s also with her friends AND wearing his shirt I-….

⤷ antiherobop can you imagine???? they probably already know each other and are really comfortable together, Im so happy if thats the case, Yn deserves a partner that loves all of her pieces and extentions

user10 she is literally glowing

⤷ charles1623 I would too if I were getting d- down by charles effing leclerc

⤷ fan43 LMAOOOO

itsmeyn

liked by jorjasmith_, sabrinacarpenter and others

itsmeyn everything has changed

view all 19,976 comments

charlesleyn THEYRE BREAKING THE INTERNET!!!!

sayhello1d Omg can I please find someone who looks at me the way she looks at whoever it is? Like she’s so in love I wanna cry

ynmonaco Now I know because they were not seem each other, one look, one picture, one MOVE and EVERYONE would know they were in love, look at her!!!!!

carlitospain I can’t believe Charles Leclerc catched Yn Yln, its freaking Yn Yln!!!!!

⤷ lekingo16 homeboy has rizz lol

user80 She is so pretty I feel like crying

ynandcharles I feel so single looking at these pictures, its like shes mocking me 😔

charles_leclerc

liked by itsmeyn, pierregasly and others

charles_leclerc everything has changed and I am so grateful for it ❤️

tagged: itsmeyn

View all 23,654 comments

sunshineleclerc he really said fck soft launch huh?

delusitifosi WE TOLD YALL!!!! Now say you guys are sorry!!!!

ynwander The way he is hugging her in all three pictures 😭 yeah Yn looks like you really found home

pierregasly Now can someone other than Yn get those hugs?

⤷ itsmeyn no 👍🏾

⤷ charles_leclerc no 👍🏻

⤷ ynlilly HAHAHAHA I ALREADY LOVE THEM

lewishamilton the best looking couple in the paddock!!! 🤍🤍🤍

⤷ itsmeyn whatever you say is the law, so I believe it, bestie 👑💛

⤷ lovelyn1998 U TELLING ME SHES CLOSE FRIENDS W LEWIS????

user10 I am so angry I did not believe on those twitter girlies 😭

ynfeels I’m so happy seeing her being pampered, she deserves a calm love, I am really happy

itsmeyn I love you 💗

⤷ charles_leclerc I would move the world for you. I love you the most, mon ange

⤷ disneyf1 I feel like Im intruding somehow 🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️🧍🏾‍♀️ they too cute

schumickey47 Do you guys need a son, a cleaner, or a dog maybe? I can bark etc

⤷ user1 LMFAOOOOOO

********************

make sure you like and reblog <3 feel free to talk to me as well, my inbox is always open!

I will start a taglist on my posts, to be part of it you just gotta comment/send an ask saying so, and most important: have your age in your profile (I don't interact with minors!). See you guys next story! <3

[nekassvariigs]

I saw someone having a post mentioning if a character from one piece would be certain about age gaps so here i am in a silly goffy mood.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

Idea: Waking up/Walking around not realising youre wearing a shirt saying "Dilf patrol" and going out on the ship/certain places causing some interesting conversations.

Raighley, Shanks, Mihawk, Law, Kid, Doflamingo

Special addition: Bepo for cuteness

I know kid and law arent dilfs but theyre fun to write

Kid

Way too busy to notice it at first until someone points it out.

Hes flabbergasted.

"Into experianced men huh?" he comments brows furrowed in question.

It took you a while to register.

"I know i dont qualify as one but give me a few years."

You couldnt be more embarrassed, not to say anytime he asks you to stand on lookout he'll yell "DILF PARTROL" full blast embarrassing you each time.

If hes into you he'll paint over one of his shirts the words "certified dilf" while working on his gagets. If you catch him in the act give him a sly smirk and run for your goddamn life.

However if you both happen to wear it at the same time again its now your turn to shout over the entire ship "DILF SPOTTED" the moment you see him. You'll distract him so horredusly he wont be able to unhear it for the next week.

At some point you both take a picture, altough the main focus is you zooming in on his tits where the label he drew on was.

"Let me see the photo."

You show it to him proudly and prepare for self defense.

"You little shit." hed scoff ,however his ego was lifted that hed certified dilf material.

Doflamingo

This pink flamingo has been walking around you all morning trying to be subtle.

It was getting on your nerves.

"Can you ATLEAST pretend that your subtle, Youre like 10 meters tall dude you wear a PINK FEATHER COAT."

"So?" He picks his teeth with a toothpick.

"Why are you following me?"

"Your shirt."

"What about it?" you get more annoyed by the second.

"Not your dresscode madamoiselle?" you give him a fake smile with your eyes.

"Ha..Hahaha..HAHAHAHA, i must send this to the navy." He takes a photo.

"Fuck do you mean send it to the navy?!"

"Look, i can already hear "it's the dilf parol woman" with your face plastered all over it."

Oh he really was pushing it huh.

With a loud FWAP the shirt lands flat on his face right on the centered plastered with the writing.

"I think they'd like this one better."

You show him the picutre. There he is this wooden shelf for a man in his pink ridicilous coat with his face covered in a shirt thats says "Dilf patrol" boldly.

"My ass im gonna let you have your way with it."

Onsues a battle between two idiots.

Nearing your defeat you splur out "Y'know if you had a kid you'd qualify for it."

"Huh- Yeah right."

"Im dead serious."

"..."

"Time to take one for the team." He said confidently.

Raighley

Usually you stay over at Shakky's rip-off bar having known the owners well half owner Raighley. You never managed to catch his wife on time however, she was always out so one good day you treated yourself to a hands on barman experiance pouring yourself a drink, mind you its late so its okay.

Whilst mixing your drink you hear the front door open Raigley in sight he catches a seat.

"One whiskey on the rocks ma'am." he gets cozy until seeing you prepare your drink. You shake the mixture the tshirt you wore frurrowing all sorts of ways.

"?" He sees something written on it.. not fully tho, so he'll take a another peek in a bit.

Your drink made, you start his grabbing some ice and whiskey for the foxy man.

"Here ya go~" you happily chirped at him offering his drink.

It wasnt until you were mid drink he said "Say would i qualify as a dilf?"

ah the burning sensation of choking on alcohol.

"What?" you ask him barely able to breathe.

"You know, I mean not to shoot myself in the foot i do happen to look good for my age." he takes a swig of his drink calmly.

"F-First off, where is this coming from? Second off what!?" You stutter, Raighley barely dared being so cocky, and now all of a sudden this!? Did he hit his head?

He doubles the K.O pointing to your shirt at which you stare down, immidiatley embarrased for showing your interest in older men un such a dumb way.

Cheeks blazing you admit defeat, giving him a thumb up weakly.

"You're overqualifed.."

"That so?" He smirks hand on his beard in question.

Now confidently you humm altough your legs were giving out.

Who woulda thought you had one of the hottest man, not to mention the most humble one around teasing you like this when youre compleatley unprepared.

[continuation awaits (￣^￣)ゞ]

Law

Poor guy was hoping to eat his meal in peace when you come in theough blazing the words dilf patrol on your shirt.

He literrally chokes.

"You alright capitan?" you ask him.

He swallows dryly, "Yeah..." he stares at you, then at the writing, then at you,the writing and at you for the last time.

"Y/n-ya, You know our crew mostly has guys around the age of 20, right?"

"Riight.. , point being?" you curiously ask.

"Point is WHO ARE YOU PATROLING FOR?!" Not gonna lie he was determined to know.

"!!?" Shocks sets in as you realize what youre wearing.

"Haha oh this thing, well you know give it a few years everyone will be aprooved, even you Law." you chuckle lips pointing in a whistle like manner.

He mentally stopped until he lowered his cow-print hat lower over his face, continuing eating without furter comments.

Hoo... Oh my.

"C-Capitans blushing!" Bepo alerts everyone in the dining hall. Startling you and Law himself.

"Was not, shut up!"

"I'm sorry!" he bows apologizing.

"Well in anycase we have time dont we?" You chuckle pouring yourself some tea.

Few meters behind you you hear more bickering about "Dont joke about this!" et cetera.

Mihawk

The silent man was trying to enjoy a morning newspaper till perona started babling to him about you.

"Whats the issue?" the blandly replies.

"Have you seen what shes wearing its not cute at all!" she pouts pointing to you , a pastry in your mouth the shirt revealing the writing.

Lightning stuck in his head.

"We all have preferances.."

He didnt want to even think about it.

"Thats right, we all have preferances" you pouted back disagreeing with her.

"Of all things you choose old hot guys seriously!? Pick something cuter next time!"

Bwaaa~ You drop your pastry.

"Who says i like old hot guys?"

"Your shirt says.." He nonchalantly interrupted.

"Ah so it does, WHAT?!" You strech out your shirt noticing the writing 'Dilf patrol'

"As long as she can handle it, i see no issue." He adds in.

Your jaw dropping, how can he be so relaxed about this.

"Stop embarrasing her old man-"

The bell dings in everyones head striking a nerve.

Everyone locks eyes.

Silence follows.

It was the tensest breakfast youve ever had with the two of them.

After breakfast you chose to clean the dishes upon hearing a knock.

"Not my buisness, but good choise." And he leaves just like that.

No dishes were washed for the next 30 minutes out of sheer incapability to understand his approval.

Shanks

All bark all bite he doesnt hold back.

He digs the shirt, calls it trendy,odd but trendy, hes seen worse.

"Y/n, i qualify."

"For what?"

"You can count me as a dilf, no?"

Your brain shortcircuts.

"Well.." You eye him up and down making him wait impatiently.

"I mean sorta? Youre not really the hot DAD material are you? "

"I can be though." he shoots you a grin.

"Caaan you?" you hiss back at him.

"Wanna seee for yourselllf?"

[Continuation awaits (￣^￣)ゞ]

Bepo!

You had just woken up having no actual shirt to wear from your regulars you scramped one from the dryer. You didnt even bother to check which one it was you had agreed to train with bepo.

"Goodmornin'. " Hes as polite as ever.

"Mornin' bepo, lets start some warm ups?"

You both proceed to train along eachother however the longer it lasted the more people gathered around you two.

"Whats this about?" You question wiping the sweat off your forehead with your shirt.

"Mm Maybe because youre wearing that today?" ,his fluffy paw points to your shirt.

Every guy in a 10 meter radius was giving you thumbs up making you red as a raindeers nose.

"Y/n, whats a dilf anyways? Some new monester out there?" He innocently asks

"Haha y-no?, Do you wanna know?"

He nodds.

"Well its a preferance for older attractive looking men that have kids or had kids who grew up."

"So.. Do you like ..." he was deep in thought..

He didnt know what to ask.

"Ah mabye Vice capitan Ben?"

Pffttjfjfhdha

"Dont think hes got kids, but hes attractive so i approve." You wipe ur nose at the thought.

Next day Bepo shows around with a shirt labeled

"Shaved ice patrol."

What an innocent creature..

[t0rturedangel]

Can we PLSS get more of creek x child reader ?? I loved it smm it’s literally my life support 💕😭‼️

╭ ☆ ➛ Creek x child ! reader Ꞌꞌ : The little craig

━ warnings / notes ; this is kinda rushed since i had a very limited amount time to post this, pacing is bad too <33 also ngl south park did post covid craig so dirty 😭 maybe ooc

" Honey ! " TWEEK mumbled as he called out for his husband, twitching slightly- something that has stayed with him even as he grew up. A head poked out from the kitchen and a voice spoke " Yes ? " " Uhm [ name's ] head teacher just called and- " " - and what ? " CRAIG asked, walking over- stretching and smiling when he heard the satisfying pops. The pair had been together since fourth grade, of courses with some in and out moments where they kept fighting of small petty things, breaking up then getting back together, it was a re-used cycle honestly, the last time they did repeat it was back in high school. Now the two of them are happily married with a little child they call their own.

" They want us to come to their office, [ name's ] in trouble " tweek sweat dropped, slightly concerned as to why their little angelic child got in trouble for the first time ever " Why do you think they are?- did they get into a fight??? did they- " " Baby- its okay, lets just go and we'll find out " Craig comforted his husband, ruffling tweek's hair and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek this did actually seem to calm tweek down letting him nod " Yeah- lets go "

Through out the ride Craig was making up excuses and apologies in his head- he knew exactly why you were in trouble and in hindsight he didn't want Tweek to why you were. It'd be the end of him if tweek did and while craig was mentally panicking- Tweek was physically panicking, all different scenarios running through his head- if you did get into a fight then you (and the child who fought you) would be in so much trouble he swore to god. Getting to the school didnt take long either, the pair rushed into the main office and were taken to the head master's office.

Entering, they saw you- who was giving the head master a little glare, your arms tucked together- and your headmaster who was staring at the two who came in, extremely serious " Mr and . . . Mr Tucker " They began " Please take the seat " Tweek sat down on the only spare chair next to you while craig stood behind you " What happened? " Tweek began " Your child- [ name ] had- " " - had what !? " Tweek's panic rose again only to be shushed by the headteacher, a glare was sent their way by you and craig " Your child has been- flipping children off for all of break time " .

Silence.

" [ name ] ! " the head teacher's voice raised as you flipped them off for the umpteenth time " Stop flipping me off ! " " No! Fuck you ! I only flipped them off because they insulted me! " Craig was so dead. " [ name ] stop that. " Tweek spoke calmly, causing you to shut up instantly and craig to start inwardly crying. " Thank you for letting me know- i'll talk with them " Nodding at the head, the three of you left.

When the three of you were in the car, you and your dad waited for tweek to blow up- but fortunately or unfortunately- he didnt, only staring at the two of you, " [ name ]- honey, good job on standing up for yourself, but you're not getting your iPad for a week " an ashamed frown was quickly relpaced with a sweet smile , happy you got off without getting in too much trouble where as your other dad wasnt as lucky " Craig- i'll be talking with you at home about teaching our little kid to flip people off " " Tweek- babe- I just wanted [ name ] to be like a mini me- a mini craig ! " he tried to defend himself.

" Thats not going to save you " " hahahaha ! Daddy's going to get it now ! "

[gavisfanta]

SECRETS 3 - PEDRI

part1, part2

yourinsta

i cant get enough of this city

liked by pedri, brycehall and 719,629,720 others.

joaofelix79 i cant get enough of asking for blue hair

user443 HAHAHAHA

yourinsta Joao istg I'm gonna block you

pedri real 💯

pedri ❤️

yourinsta ❤️

brycehall barcelona actually looks fire

yourinsta come here and ill get some people to show you around

brycehall can i also meet the real madrid players??

yourinsta no but the barcelona players

brycehall if i have to...

ferrantorres hey!

user819 okay but blonde hair suits her so well

yourinsta thanks so muchh!!

user910 i love barcelona man i agree

myamoryn how is frenkie doing?

user828 he's injured you idiot

frenkiedejong 😍💩

yourinsta 💩📸

mikkykiemeney i love that we look alike now

yourinsta oh yeahhhh HAHAH

siramartinezc so prettyyyyy

yourinsta ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

macaronparatoi been here since brown hair era

ynamor real me too

ynamor i cant get enough of you!!!!!

pablogavi good old barceloneta

yourinsta my fav place

pablogavi wasnt it apple?

yourinsta oh yeah right apple

pedri I know that its me bro

pablogavi he's an idiot sometimes

yourinsta gavi i agree

pedri

cant get enough of this

liked by yourinsta, pablogavi and 2,729,002 others.

yourinsta ❤️ (pinned)

pedri ❤️

pablogavi i can imagine

pedri okay what...

pablogavi nothing...

yourinsta ...

user829 Wait pedri goes outside?

user828 HHAHAHAHA

user819 honestly shes right

user889 thats so real

ynamor DRAMAA

user662 YESS

user729 we loveee

brycehall I'm invested in this secret

yourinsta I'm sure bryce

user772 what is he even doing here

user16 its funny tho hahaha

user220 wait didnt Y/n say the same thing?

ynamor thats what im sayinggggggg

lamineyamal and you were saying that I'm the one who has a gf?

pedri si hermano

lamineyamal life is unfair...

pedri gotta live with it

ferrantorres okay its a bit obvious now pedro

pedri we using first names now Ferran Torres García.

ferrantorres oh im screwed.

user92 HAHAHA

user810 WHATS GOING ON???

barcaupdates

JUST IN:

Pedri's girlfriend hasn't posted anything for the past 3 months, neither about herself or Pedri.

Pedri neither the guys want to talk about her or her and the players relationship, everything points to the breakup of the famous couple.

liked by user810 and 21,919 others.

user810 something is going on

user634 right im scared something happened

user447 maybe something happened

user1710 NOO THEY BROKE UP?? 😭😭

user556 not a 100% sure

user01 I cant believe it...

user819 i miss her posts so much...

user226 right they were so iconic

user910 guys maybe they just want some privacy

user8192 then she'd atleast like the pictures of pedri

user019 she doesnt have to do anything

user729 yeah but still if they would be still together she would show some support

user662 girl stfu

ynamor I'm depressed rn 😞

user928 girl same

[ma3mae]

MAEEE AAAA I NEED PART TWO OD YOUR "NO BRAIN, JUST HORNY" HC AKSJDJDDJ

Make a part two??🥺🫶Maybe Chuuya and Nikolai?

No brain, just horny! 2

Summary: Oh no! Your bf's acting all hot! What to do??? (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor)

Genre: fluff, crack, bit suggestive 🤓

Warnings: TO HORNY JAIL WITH YALL 💀✋

A/N: ANOONNN WKDJEKHFKS HERE U GO, SWEETIE 🤩🤩🤩 how can yall find rat man hot, idk man 💀 his parts rly short bc I CANT WRITE HIM so see it as a small extra 💀💀 not proofread btw 💀

Part 1

Nakahara Chuuya

😳 yall wanna get railed by this man, huh??

Cant blame u tho 💀😭 😭

honestly i think his reaction would prob depend on his mood, lowkey like rampo

Just that his reaction would be a bit more intense EHEH

idk if hes kinda busy at the moment and annoyed bc work is being a hoe, hed prob be all impatient like "Damn, doll. Im barely holding myself back as well so just wait a bit, will ya?"

As much as hed love to indulge u immediately, he still values his work yk 😔😔😔

ok yk what would be funny tho? Like he told u he'd be having a meeting at his work place and honestly, its not hard enough to know where it is bc its like legit one of the highest buildings (idk maybe even the highest???) in yokohama lmaoo

And you've been waiting for him to come back home after two weeks but noooo, he has to report everything to his boss 🤓🤓🤓🤓

so you're like "alright, im horny and been waiting for too long."Guess where we're going yall 😋😋😋😋???

TO HELL

Jk nah but we makin our way over there and lets just say they only know u as "the love of his life who def shouldnt be messed with if they wanna live" bc he'd go haywire AS HE SHOULD if anything happened to u 💀

Anyway we know when the meeting's being held so oopsie, we "accidentally" manage to find him in the hallway with some of his colleagues

"Oi, isn't that your girlfriend over there, Boss??" not only tachihara but everyone's confused on why u r even there??

Chuuya just whips his head around and doesnt know if he should just yeet himself outta the building or be happy to see you bc

YES

YES HE DID MISS YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU THEREEEE??💀💀💀💀💀💀😭😨

its especially bad if our boy still hasn't told you what hes actually doing bc no way in hell wants he to drag u into that shi 💀

Anyway you're just too excited so u ignore his to tomato face with a twitching eyebrow and you start to jog towards him but damn tf is that???

OF COURSE theres a bump sticking outta the carpet SMH SUE THE CLEANING STAFF😋

And obviously we all know whos gonna trip on that

But as embarassed as he is, your future hubby will make sure that you won't end up on the floor 💕💕

all you feel is a slight gust of wind and you can only open your eyes to see his gorgeous ones

"Don't just fall for me every time you see me, doll." LMAO thats so corny and he actually gets even more red when he realises wtf he just spouted out of his mouth but he couldnt help it 😭

Especially when hes holding you bridal style in his arms and you can feel him subconciously squeeze you tighter against him bc he missed his wifey

and we are just too whipped to stop ourselves from saying "Chuu chuu, i just couldnt wait anymore. Can we move this to our place? I'll be anything you want, even just a hole for you, mkay?"

HAHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS 💀

thats the EXACT question that goes through his mind as he just stares at you like 😳

But he cant deny that it made him feel hot, even down there a bit...

"Come in when you're done, Chuuya." is all you hear from HIS fking boss as he just sends the both of you a smile as he enters the room before closing the door

Help our man, hes so TORN

All he can do is take a deep breath, trying to stop his face from heating up bc its already hot enough as it is

He'll gently set you down but still keeps a secure grip around your waist with one arm

His gloved hand tilts your face slightly up and all you see is a sea of blue

Letting his gloved thumb slowly glide on your bottom lip

"You really like teasing me. Dont'cha sweetheart? Just give me 15 minutes and then we'll be at home. Honestly might scold you for your little stunt but it's not like you don't like that, right? But I gotta say...."

cherry sweet lips lock onto yours for what seems like only a second before feeling them on your forehead

"I did miss you pretty much...and I'll make it up to you. Thanks for your patience, love."

now YOU'RE the one who's face is about to explode and that annoying ass smirk of his isnt even helping u but oh well

He should be lucky that you're so in love with him and that his handsome looks always manage to hold you back from yelling at him out of embarassement 💀😳

He gives you a peck on the lips before giving you on last squeeze

"Only a little bit longer, okay? Will give you a proper kiss when we're at home."

He makes his way back but stops "Also I love you but please... wait at home next time. No need for anyone to see your cute ass here. Only mine to look at, yk.." the last part kinda gets muffled under his breath as he tilts his fedora down to hide his heated face but welp, ofc u heard everything 😋

Anyway, you let him go to his meeting with a wave with ur hand bc he did promise to make it up to you and your body would be tingling with excitement until yall get back home for yk what 😋😋😋💅

Akutagawa Ryunnosuke

ngl he'd make a similar expression to this pic here 💀 like hes fking constipated or smth

Give my man some time pls bc its his first relationship and he needs some minute to get it through his head that you feel sexually attracted enough to him to yearn for him, broo

"Can't you just... wait until we get home? Why now?" SKKSKS you think he sounds so pissed but hes just so confused 💀😭😭

lmao just came up with a ridiculous scenario

idk some random wannabe gang is stirring up some trouble in yokohama

And how do u resolve this problem as fast as u can?

By sending one of ur best men there who legit just slices them all in mere secs 😋

but wait whats that?

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

You just stare wide eyed at your boyfriend as he stands there infront of the mall, choking the living shit out of what seems to be some weird thug

"Ryu, what are you doing here?"

He just clicks his tounge out of annoyance and casually tosses the man to the side as he makes his way towards you

Stopping infront of you, you only see his furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed look on his face

But if you look closely, you'll see a glimpse of worry in them💕

"I could ask you the same thing. Didn't I telll you to stay at home? And specifically to not enter this area?"

You can only sheepishly laugh at his words and the huff at your answer wasnt that helpful

"Well, the mall here had your favorite tea on sale and I really wanted to surprise you with it!"

He just puts a hand on his face as you peek over his shoulder, only seeing whips and bits of rashomon dealing with the thugs while you boyfriend seems somehow unbothered by their presence, hell he was legit not even aknowledging them at this point 💀

"Let me just finish this real quick and then I'll take you home."

"But I still have t-"

A glare from him immediately zipped your mouth shut, deeming it unnecessary to argue with him any further since he could be very very stubborn

"Just stay behind me and wait."

If you had to be honest, watching your bf just casually beat the shit out of 20 or more men without even breaking a sweat made you feel really hot

He might be stoic, blunt or whatever everyone would call him but at the end of the day, he'd make sure you're well protected and cared for, even if it would take some nudges from you to guide him

He was a fast learner after all in every aspect of your relationship

And it wasn't until he poked your forehead that you snapped out of your trance, your face beet red and only for him to raise an eyebrow at you

"Don't tell me you got sick from just being outside for a bit? I really don't know how someone frail like you had managed to live for so long."

Harsh words yet the gentle press of his hand against your forehead was telling a different story

"Hm, you aren't heating up that much. But I'll still be taking you home."

"Can you stay with me then? Because honestly, watching that fight somehow made me really horny."

🤨 > 😳

"Are you kidding me? How does watching me beat the shit out of some random wannabe thugs make you horny?"

You can only groan at his answer but couldn't keep the smirk on your lips from growing as you noticed the red hue on his cheeks

"It's just hot to see how easy it was for you to just casually fend of all of them. Not to mention, that it's always nice to have a reminder what a strong and reliable lover I have. I'm just really lucky, I guess"

Ah, you smart vixen.

Always using his praise kink for your advantage and oh boy, he knows

But he just can't help his rising pulse at what your words just do to him

"W-Why-? Y-You-???"

Suddenly he grabbing your hand, he turns his body away from you, only his back in your sight as he continues to walk

"Ryu, are we walking ba-"

"Told you I'm taking you home. Someone has to make sure nothing happens to you since you probably wouldn't even know how to defend yourself."

"Aah, I see. Well I'll be sure to thank you properly when we're at home." 😋🤩

A hitched breath and his grip tightening around your hand really made it difficult not to laugh at him

Well, atleast it was nice knowing that you weren't the only one eager to get home asap 💀💀

At the end, you thanked him as promised and he made sure to make you feel safe as always

"Oh, thank you for the tea... I guess.." he'd mumble in your ear as he pressed your back against his chest, his arms tucked comfortably around you. 🤭

Nikolai Gogol

erm 😨 how about no?

Do u not value life?

Jk but his goofy ass would NEVER let u rest if u even show him a tiny bit on how horny you are 💀💀💀💀

bro's like "ew human desires, they only bind u" lowkey (not as hard as fyodor but yk what i mean)

but hes sadly down bad for his future or maybe already wifey so 😉 how could he 😉 say no 😉

like idk lets say for whatever reason u r also part of their rat gang 💀 and its honestly a big headache to endure his weird and annoying antics every day

But thats what made u fall in love bc u have bad taste 😋😋😋 same tho

is prob gonna tease u about that too like "Oh, Y/N~ So many men out there and yet you still chose me?? Either you're just very desperate or you just don't care at all! But don't worry, I'm more than happy to be the one who's on your mind all day 🤩🤩🤩" he says as he's casually bombing a whole building and kills hundreds of people 🤩

Thats for sure gonna be blowing ur mind for weeks 💀 IM SORRY

throw him into a trash can or smth 💀 jkjk maybe im not 💀💀

anyway back to the scenario 💀

lets say hes as always acting like the 🤡 he is and disrupting everyone's life by being plain annoying

Ok so fyodor threatened to kill him for the 100th time? Check.

Sigma's crying in his office bc he just escaped random pairs of scissors flying at him for the whole day? Check. someone has to cut that atrocious hair away, okur💀💀💀

Getting hit by gf after randomingly stealing kisses from her?

Che-

"But why won't you let me kiss you, Y/N????"

Dodging his attempts for what would seem the 30th time for the day, you hastily continued to make your way to Sigma, a box of self made cookies in your hand.

"You've been harassing everyone for the entire day as always! And don't get me started on what you tried to do to Sigma!"

You could only hear a whine as fast footsteps tried to outrun yours, you wanting nothing but wanting to somehow lift Sigma's spirits up since no one else would make their time to comfort him after the inhuman pranks your boyfriend couldn't refrain from doing

"But he's just so funny, you know! How could anyone resist not teasing him all day?!"

"Teasing doesn't mean endangering his life! Only because YOU don't like his hair!"

"Hmm, but won't you atleast give me one kiss before you go?"

"nope, never. Bye!"

Aah, you really shouldn't have challenged him 😨

"Well, then I guess you won't be needing that then!"

"Huh?"

A

"NIKOLAI GOGOL?! GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX BACK!!" only hearing maniacal cackling quickly distancing itself from you, as he ran away with the box in his hand

Ah, he really was blessed with the perfect ability for him

Too stubborn and annoyed to realise his intentions, you quickly followed him, the urge of wanting to punch him pulling you towards him like a magnet

"A chase is what he wants? Okay, he'll get it." 😋😋

Knowing immediately that he made it too easy for the both of you as he nonchalantly laid on your shared bed, crumbs on his cheeks as he enjoyed your cookies, his mask casually laying next to him.

"You are more than an annoying child, you know that?"

"Yep but I don't care! Also how dare you only make cookies for your friend when you've got such a loving partner like me!"

A groan slipped out of you as you walkes over to him, earning yourself a "HEY?!" as you snatched the box away from him

"If you wanted some, you could have just asked like a normal person. I wouldn't have minded sharing some and Sigma probably not."

"Ugh, like a normal person? You know that's just boring~ buuuut if you really want me to then-"

You felt a pull at your wrist, making your chest hitting his as you landed on top of him, affectively stradling him

Both of your hands at the side of his head as you tried to lift yourself up, yet the arm around your waist stopping you, your faces only mere inches away from each other

A smirk splayed on his face as he wiped the crumbs away from his lips with his gloved thumb

Pressing it softly against your lips, the movement ingrained in your body as you opened them without any protest

a low chuckle at your cute actions as you licked the crumbs of his thumb before releasing it with a soft 'pop'

"Is that normal enough for you, my dove?"

Not letting the heat on your face and body stop you from throwing remarks at him, you merely stated "That wasn't asking, just plain seduction at this point."

Letting his eyes trail over your body and the hands next to him, tightly clutching the sheets only spurred him further on.

"Well, I've got your attention now, right?"

"You're lucky that I love you."

"Isn't it good to know we're both obesessed, dearie?"

A whine left his lips as you tucked at his hair at that statement, grazing your teeth across his neck before harshly biting on it.

"Well, then end what you've started then."

"Gladly."

Getting hit by Y/N after randomingly stealing kisses from them? Hair pulled, make out sessions and more after annoying them? Double Check.

Fyodor Dostojevski

💀 im dead, you're dead, we're all DEAD

ok jk he wouldnt kill u bc even if he wont admit it immediately, he loves u 😋

but why would u feed his annoying god complex like that 😨😨

but guess what 😋 youve always had bad taste so why not be together with a terrorist 🤩

Ur only dates would be either sitting in his stinky room full of computers as hes been sitting there for days and you're chilling on his lap

or yall actually go outside to ruin someone's life 💅

and honestly, what better way to confirm that humans r horrible af when he sees you get turned on by his horrid acts 💀💀💀

"I just took a life infront of your very eyes and all you say is how hot that is? Well, aren't you ruined to the point of return? But that's what makes you so interesting, I guess."

UGHH IDK HOW YALL CAN LOVE HIM 💀💀💀

i think it would be rly difficult to actually turn him on as well at first

Or catch him off guard tbh bc all you'd get is a condescending smirk of him just teasing you

He'll prob also just call u out about how horny you are but its ok bc he loves having that effect on you 🤩

"Is it seeing someone's eyes lose their light? Killing the gifted because the world would be purer without them? Tying them up and choking the life out of them? Or is it because I am the one doing these acts? Planning it all out, only for you to witness it? How about I'd do it to you, hmm?"I FEEL ITCHY AFTER WRITING THAT 💀

tbh it depends how "horny" u r tbh bc he'd prob make you beg for it first by just telling u off n stuff until you cant take ir anymore

Like if you want him then SHOW him how much you want him 🤩

he prob has not that much of a stamina but he'd make up for it with technique what am i writing rn😭😭😭😭

anyway you'd def be satisfied but he'd prob make you work for it first before tending to ur "needs"

im crying i hate this

😭

A/N: DAMN already hit 400 followers?? thinking of maybe doing smth for that, idk what tho. Got too many ideas 💀 and lmao sorry for the radio silence 💀 writers block and life, we love it.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 152 spoilers, more thoughts under cut

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THIS WHOLE CHAPTER HAD ME GIGGLING UP A STORM AHAHAHAHAHAAAA I LOVED IT WAHAHAHAHA

TERRITORY OF THE DEMON GOD 😭😭😭 BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

excited at the thought of this title possibly showing up in cpsm,,, heehee

now from the top!

screaming shouting tyrannus is so pretty hes so cute i love this guy,,,,

tyrannus not only recognizing the power lloyd has but also what lloyd is choosing to do with it and subsequently cheering him on makes me so so happy,,, i want these bozos to get their happy ending so bad

"MY HOMETOWN IS NOW FRONTERA" IM GONNA THROW UP /POS WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

i cant quite put into words how this makes me feel ohh god ohhhh lord im gonna lose it!!!

bc like home is the place u can return to, where ur family is, where u are always always welcome; and seoul cant really be that anymore, bc he's lost his family in korea and can he really call that boardroom "home"?

he's found a new home in frontera estate. a place where he can return to, a place where he can see his new family and all the wacky friends hes made and they all welcome him w open arms AAAGHHH AAAAAGGGHHH SOMEONE PUNCH ME

lord knows he probably misses his old home, his birthplace, but he has a new one to protect now,,,, im eating my fist

anyway brainrotting aside: THE CAMEOS OF EVERYONE IN THIS CHAPTER ARE SO FUCKING FUNNYYY HAHAHAHAHAHA

like the bandits were fr goin thru it but the elves n orcs were just minding their business 😭 ALSO EVERY BANDIT IN THIS FRAME HAS A SHOT TO THE CROTCH DAMN HAHAHAHAHAAA

especially love that greg is making his own creations and has also developed his own kind of unhinged-ness. we love to see the birth of a new engineer i salute u greg. "TSK. WE MISSED" HELP MEEE AHHAAHAHA

ALSO SOLITAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SIDE CHARACTERS YIPPEEEEE HAHAHAHA n greg's completely casual reaction to being a dragon LMAOOO

AND LLOYD APPEARING AT THE VERY END AS THE FINAL BOSS OF FRONTERA ESTATE LMAOOO it was over for this guy before he even started tbh 😭 HAHAHAHA

and the fact that the villagers were completely chill upon realizing that it was lloyd like "oh its just the young master okay :) yay :)" HAHAHAHAHA

truly, the territory of the demon god, lloyd frontera,,, heeheehee

and finally verkis!! another fav character i hope hes willing to help,,,, ah who am i kidding lloyds prolly gonna bully him w the thought of working again,,,,,,,, HAHA

the eeper,,,, so silly hehehe,,, also how is he laying like that and still asleep thats like impressive levels of Fucked Up Sleep Posture i just know if i did that my arm would b fucked up for HOURSSS

thats all from me see yall next week!!! seoul arc soon im very excited and curious ,,,

[gio-goose]

I adore your Sin Conclave AU. Ohhh... May I ask, did they kidnap him or coerce him to join?

He got kidnapped when he was a kid. A little while after Sol took him in. I just kinda pulled an Arcane on him there HSHDHDJDH that night Sol was having none of Sin's shenanigans and left camp to cool down a bit. Sin started to get a bit anxious, because Sol took his sweet ass time cooling off. Sin knew better to leave camp. Last time Sol got mad at him and so he waited. And thats when they snatched him. Sin tried to escape. he tried to call for Sol, he tried to use his lightning, but his kidnapper knocked him out before he could. Sol heard the commotion and ran back to the camp only to see that it's empty. He did try to look for Sin, though it became clear that he was not going to find him and that the worst possible thing has happened.

Basically after this Sin thought he got abandoned by Sol (yayyy giving him abandonment issues!!! Surely no one will take advantage of this!!! Or try to manipulate this young child!! Ahaha whoops) His family "left" him and now the Conclave are the only people who "care" for him. Of course, at first Sin did try to escape a couple of times, but then he "realized" that this isn't so bad. If he does good on his training, he gets rewarded heavily (food, toys, going outside. anything he asks for) and even when he does make mistakes they don't physically hurt him like Sol. They may take stuff but he gets it back if he does great. They don't let him outside too usually. Though it's nothing new for him since he did spend a significant time bring hidden in the castle with his mother. The conclave did take advantage of his resentment towards his father. After all if they can pit them against each other to keep them in check then that's exactly what they'll do (they know Ky wouldn't win against Sin bc of his guilt and attachment towards him. They can use Sin to dispose of their little puppet king. It is shame though they could've had two strong puppets at their side smh). Ky is aware that they have Sin and he would not do anything out of turn knowing this. They won't allow Ky to see him but Sin doesn't really want to do anything with him either. Sin thinks his father hates him and that's why he was left with Sol who then "abandons" him.

Oh he's gonna show them how strong he's become, how much better he is now. All he has to do is listen to the Conclave and everything will be fine. They promised him.

Anyways sorry for talking so much here, anon. I hope you don't mind this HAHAHAHA

[miya-rin]

you wanted this

he swerved you.

he actually just swerved you.

and that little laugh he let out afterwards pissed you off more than the fact that your boyfriend just swerved you.

“oh i bet you think you’re sooo funny don’t you?” you say, fists clenched ready to beat the hell out of anything you can get to fast enough, in this case, its him.

“a little,” he retorts, a shit eating grin spreading across his stupidly handsome face. your eye slightly twitches which doesn’t go unnoticed by him, seeing he tries to play his little stunt off all smoothly, realising you were actually waiting for a kiss. “oh baby i’m sorry, come here.” he says as he places his thumb on your cheek bone, caressing it softly, while his fingers rest under your jaw. leaning in slowly as his apology. only to be met with your turning face.

you just swerved him.

you actually just swerved him.

“babe!” he almost yells, the colour draining from his face at the thought that he just fucked up badly enough for you to reject his kiss. “im sorry i didnt mean it, kiss me please.”

“im busy.” turning your body away from him so he can just see your back, he takes the opportunity to run his hands up and down your sides. putting his head in the crook of your neck and placing feather light kisses in your most sensitive spot, what he would normally be met with was the sounds of your laughter filling the room. but there is silence. oh he really fucked this up.

“baby im sorry.” he babbles into your neck, moving away from you to try and turn you around, but when that doesn’t work he returns to his toddler instincts. tantrums.

“pretty please y/n, i said im sorry, just kiss me and ill stop!”

“don’t raise your voice at me, you wanted this.” you pick up your phone and put your headphones in trying to block out the sounds coming from your 26 year old boyfriends mouth. oh but that doesn’t stop him.

“YN!!!!! LOVE ME!!!” he shouts loud enough to be heard over whatever is playing on your phone.

“sorry what was that?” you tease, dramatically turning your phone’s volume up, “i can’t quite hear you.” and with those words his face drops. he sighs in defeat and starts to walk out the room. but it’s not over yet.

as you start to turn away from him once more he charges at you and jumps with so much force you both fall onto the floor. while your guard is down he takes the opportunity to place your arms above your head and pin them there with one of his hands. his legs are places over your thighs as he knows there is no way you can escape like that.

he has you right where he wants you.

he starts to place slobbery kisses all over your face like a dog, and you know he’s only doing it like that to annoy you because of the fact he starts giggling. your big strong boyfriend is giggling like a little girl. and thats when you can’t keep up your cold act anymore.

“HAHAHAHA, GET OFF OF ME YOU LITTLE-“ your sentence is cut short as he places one last wet kiss on your lips, and pulls away with the largest smile you have ever seen on him, the corners of his eyes start to wrinkle and in that moment he just looks so handsome.

although, you cant let him know he’s won yet, so you decide to start writhing under his strong grip, even though you both know that you’re no match for him.

“oh don’t start struggling now baby, you wanted this.”

ATSUMU, suna, OIKAWA, hanamaki, matsukawa, yahaba, KUROO, bokuto, konoha, sugawara, futakuchi

[casuallycryingoverbooks]

Okay so after kind of a long break cuz i felt like i burned through most of season 8 waiting for Mulder to get back i just started watching s08e19 Alone. Here are my thoughts

Aaaaahhhhh i love Dogget he’s grown on me so much. He and Scully actually care about each other as friends

Mulder taking an active role in Scully’s pregnancy after being justifiably distant since he’d been returned makes me melt

“Agent doggets a big boy, he can tale care of himself. You have to worry about the little boy. Little girl? Little boy? Or little girl?” AH BARK BARK

No dogget’s spent too much time with Scully he’s touching unidentified goup with his bare hands

Dad!skinner telling Scully she’s not aloud into the office. Skinner acting like Mulder and Scully are the two children he never wanted but begrudgingly loves anyway is my everything

Scully you should mot be autopsying that body and everyone knows it except for you apparently and btw put a goddamn mask on

Mulder is concerned about his son and his wife, partner (girl?) friend more than any x-file

When tf was it confirmed that the baby is mulder’s?

I was so distracted by Mulder and Scully I forgot 8 was supposed to be worried about Dogget what’s going on

When x-files agents drop random history lessons>>> please tell me more about the prohibition

Skinner: mulder your not supposed to be out here. Mulder does what mulder wants

A “walk in the woods” or “nice trip to the forest” has never gone well for this man

“I didn’t catch a name agent-“ “kersh.” HAHAHAHA agent mulder is not a field agent but he doesn’t have to be if he’s not agent Mulder

Mulder looks really good in this episode

Nah dog (random evil biologist guy) get away from my new son (dogget)

Agent Harrison pisses me off, girl no way you read all the reports and went “i wanna do that!!!” And THEN you were freaked out. Like do i love the xfiles? Yeah! Is a career path im considering with an intelligence agency like the fbi? Yeah. Would i ever want to work on an xfile if they were real? Nope nope nope

MULDER SCULLY FACETIME CALLS ARE BACK HELLLLLLL YEAHHHHH

Skinner reprimanding Mulder is back can i get a waahooo?

“You re-gifted my apollo medallion” yes and i wish she fucking didn’t

ENZYMES THOSE ARE ENZYMES (ha, i was right)

“Talk about the blind leading the blind” man-

Rut row raggy

Yes, let’s shoot a firearm when we can’t see anything! That’s a really good idea!

Bad mulder! That is not something we say and then hang up on our wife, partner (girl?) friend

That is a big fucking lizard and I’m getting the feeling i was already supposed to know about it but wasn’t paying attention

Mulder bby they are not your colleagues you are unemployed

“It’s alright, it’s just me” Ahhhh soft dogget

Can Dogget and Mulder be bros please

Mulder you absolutely fucking moron ❤️❤️❤️

“Aim at me” “No!!! I’ll shoot you” “your not gonna shoot me”x4 Haha i cant believe that fucking worked

MULDERS HAND ON SCULLYS BACK AAAAH

Mulder giving Dogget the medallion ahhhhh

I’m very articulate rn

She’s such a fan hahaha

“It was never actually proven it was a spaceship-“ “it wasn’t?” + more bickering “you were frozen and then I hugged you untill you were not frozen anymore” THATS CANON NOW

[starlight-nerd]

Hi I saw that you accept prompts and I have one in mind that has been stuck in my mind for days.. Can you write about Bedelia's parents visiting and Hannibal is her fake "husband"? HAHAHAHA I want him all playing the part too well and Bedelia being kind of awkward and grateful about it. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

Bedannibal Headcannons prt. 9

I LOVE this prompt, and tried so hard to make this one a drabble, but I couldn't make it flow in a way I felt made sense. So I took the base idea and turned it into this, hope thats okay!

Hannibal was not supposed to be there. Not at all. Bedelia remembers specifically telling him that his appointment was tomorrow, not today.

But here he was, minutes before her parents were set to arrive, letting himself into her home.

"You weren't answering my calls." "Do I have to answer all of your calls?" "Usually you do."

She had left her phone on silent and up in her bedroom so she didn't have to listen to every voice mail her mother would leave on the way over.

Bedelia tries to send him away, but he comments she's too tense, and her perfume is too sweet smelling, meaning she applied to much, and headed to the kitchen, following his nose to find out what in the world she was attempting to cook.

Of course, the harder she pushes for him to leave, the more he insists on fixing the chicken alfredo she was attempting.

When the doorbell inevitably rings, she doesn't go to answer it, at the second ring, Hannibal litterally pushes her towards the door and tells her not to be rude to her guests.

"Could you at least sneak out the back?" "Would you like me too?" "It would be preferable." "No."

After greeting her parents, taking their coats, pouring both a finger of whiskey; Hannibal makes his first apperance, interupting Bedelias mother from whatever comment was sitting on her tounge about her daughters home decor.

He has no hesitation introducing himself as her husband.

"Mr. and Mrs. Du Maurier. I've heard so much about you." "I'm afraid we can't say the same." "Ah, well, lets correct that then. I am Hannibal Lecter, Bedelia's husband."

Bedelias jaw is on the floor. She almost drops her glass from shock, and Hannibal is enjoying every minute of it.

"Husband? This is the first I'm hearing of any of this!" "Bedelia, how could you go and get married without telling your father an I?" "Now, now, It was a courthouse wedding, not all that long ago. The legal paperwork is still processing. I suppose our annoucement got lost in the mail."

Hannibal is masterminding the damage control while Bedelia is trying to understand what the actual hell, he just did.

Bedelia, knowing her mother, is prepared for her to pry and she has no idea what to say. Thankfully, nothing is said right away, both her mother and father were too caught up in getting to know their new 'Son-in-law'.

During dinner is when the questions finally start to come out.

"How did you two meet?" "A psychology confrence in Boston." "How long have you been seeing one another?" "A year and a half." "Is Bedelia as stubborn with you as she is us?" "Very, although I find it rather charming."

Hannibal does most of the brunt work, weaving together a convincing story that almost convinces Bedelia herself.

Once food was served, Bedelias father claims its one of the best dishes shes' ever made. Hannibal lets her take all the credit, and just comments that he's been giving her cooking lessons.

Despite being completely put off, and upset that Hannibal would distrupt her life with such a lie, Bedelia finds herself actually enjoying the night.

Usually, she is stuck listening to her mother going on and on about how she doesn't visit or call enough, how she needs to learn to decorate her home properly, how she should settle down and start a family before its too late.

And then shed listen to her father comment on her food choices, how her lawn care company has butchered her hedges, and once again tell her to call a plumber for the 'leaky' fauset in her first floor bathroom, even though its perfectly fine.

But with Hannibal taking on the conversation, she was able to eat in peace, to talk only when she wished too, despite most of the things coming from her being lies.

Once her parents finally leave, satisfied with their evening, Hannibal sticks around to help her clean up.

"You know, now I'll have to give them your phone number?" "I'm aware." "And that they'll expect us to send them a christmas card with a 'family' photo?" "I suspected such would be the case, as well as you signing 'Bedelia Lecter' instead of 'Bedelia Du Maurier' on anything your parents might see. Unless you plan to keep your maiden name?" "I'm not signing 'Bedelia Lecter' on anything."

"Why would you go through the trouble of doing all this?" "Doing what?" "Creating such a lie and feeding it to my parents as if its the truth?" Hannibal leans in close, his lips pressed to the shell of her ear. "Maybe next time you'll answer your phone."

When he leaves for the night as well, Bedelia cannot bring herself to be truley upset about anything that transpired.

[celestie0]

🪷 CTFUUUUUU your gojo and reader sex tape post was so hilarious omg. Ngl to me they don't give the vibes of a couple that make one (I don't mean this as an insult omfg now that I wrote it it sounds rude as hell) but the type who are professional phone fuckers.

Doja cat's Cyber sex is their national anthem I just know it I had a little locker room talk with reader she told me 😙. And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

He's a player (the *other* type of player) too so ofc he'd have expertise in the area of tasteful nudes but reader's learning curve will be so exponential gojo would be left in the dust in a short amount of time😁 RIP BOZO‼️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat. That dong goes up at an angle of elevation so steep you could make a mean trigonometric question off of it. I need him BAD I need him esp when he's sweaty after a gym or practice session I'd climb that man like jack was climbing that beanstalk.

Anyway I hope you've been doing well sweets! Thanks for being so nice to me in your last ask and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us I wanna see that horndog be his authentic slutty self around reader finally 🗣️🗣️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat.

oh dear sweet baby jesus the scream i SCRUMPT AT THIS…HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT oh mygooodd that’d be so fuckin hot 😩😩😩 i ran to add that to my notes LOL my head is in my hands i need to write that so fucking bad. HIM RAILING HER WHILE SHE’s WEARING A SKIMPY LIL CHEERLEADER COSTUME AFTER HE JUST PLAYED AN INTENSE GAME babe u cooked w this ty

HAHAHA i feel like they would make a sex tape but they obv wouldnt post it or anything lol it’d just be something they’d do when they’re both drunk asf while on vacation in their hotel room n then they freak out once they get home n realize they lost the flashdrive n someone out there in barcelona is now jerking off to their amateur avante garde porno

And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

okay you’re so right ab cyber sex being (at least post grad) kickoff couple’s anthem 🤧 that “i wish u were here rn” yup. but also LMFAO THATS SO TRUE AB THE SLUTTIN HER OUT he’d have her so downbad she’s flashing her titties at the webcam just cuz she wants to see him cum all over his stomach while he’s jerking himself off to her pixels ✋🏼😩 i was not anticipating to start this day off so horny LOL

idk i like to think all the nudes kickoff gojo has received in his life have been raunchy asf so when he’s so desperate to get a glimpse of kickoff reader while he’s away for work n is like “babe send me a pic please” for the first time n she sends something that’s genuinely really tasteful n artistic n subtle but sexy n leaves a bit to the imagination i feel like that wld drive him more insane than any explicit nude ever would HAHAHAHA

THE DONG GOIN UP YOU COULD PERFORM TRIG ON IT IM CRYING babe i wish to be half as funny as you are some day 🤣🤣

thanks my lovee omg im so happy you’re looking forward to it :””) 💕 you’re my honeybunch sugarplum pumpyumpyumpkin i love yaaa

- ellie 🐸

[lightblue-stories]

How Trollhunters made me terrifed of Highschool. (A Life story)

Ahem hello world, no I am not dead. Now thats out of the way:

Here is how Trollhunters planted a fear in my head before I went to highschool. For those who don't know i'm currently 16. Which means I am now in my final year of Highschool, But it also means i've had this fear for around 6 years and now it's comeing true.

What is this fear you ask? How does it link to trollhunters? I'll tell you.

Do any of you remember that one episode where Jim has to turn small to catch a gnome? And in the process, miss a day of school and miss being there to a spanish exam? Well I remember it well.

And no, my fear isn't missing a school test. But it is to do with learning a forgien language. Back when i watched trollhunters for the first time, I was learning Spanish in my Primary school. And i hated it. I just couldn't memerise anything that was said but hey i was 9 or 10 soooo. Moving back to the episode.

Jim's exam was a speaking exam. A freaking speaking exam. My little mind couldn't handle the fear of having to 1) Speak infront of anyone at school. And 2) Speak in a language that isn't English.

So the fear of one day having to do it stuck in my mind all that time. And it made me scared that once i'm in a highschool i would have to do that exam.

Time passes. And i was put into a class to learn German. Do i like German? No. Did i get a choice? Hahahaha no. No i DID not. Anyway so that fear climbed it's way back to the front of my mind. And stayed there.

And ALSO i only stayed in that class because i "Knew how to do the work that one else did" WELL TEACHER, MABYE THAT'S BECAUSE THE ANSWERS WERE ON THE BACK OF THE BOOKLET AND NO BODY ELSE BOTHERED TO NOTICE!. Ahem. So now i'm stuck not only doing German, but the harder course. I barley understood the normal course.

And you guessed it, I have to do a speaking exam before i leave the school. And it's the thing i've been dreading since i was young.

So yea, thats my story. If i'm still hear by the time i finish school i'll tell the story of how it went. BUT until then. I will just be thinking of how everytime i rewatched that one trollhunters episode i got shivers before i even got into highschool, all because of the speaking exam.

Cya next time!