Roomie
Summary: When Yuta signed for his new apartment, he didn't sign for an unexpected, and unannounced, roommate.
Nakamoto Yuta x ghost! Male! Reader
Angstyy, maybe a little bit of fluff if you squint and tilt your head.
Warning(s): Mentions of death, help into the afterlife, some religious themes(talking of heaven and hell), cursing, spirits, mentions of su!c!de.
•••♡•••
A/n: I AM IN NO WAY ROMANTISIZING SU!C!DE OR DEATH! I got the idea from a song I really like called 'Gut Punch/ Dont Meet Your Idols' by Everybody's Worried About Owen! I hope y'all enjoy!
•••♡•••
•••♡•••
The first night Yuta spent in his new apartment was uneventful, the normal sounds of the building settling and the echo of neighbors talking reverberating off of his still bare walls.
He smiled softly, snuggled up happily on his Futon as he stared at the ceiling, already laying out where his glow in the dark stars were gonna be placed.
After moving out of his friend Shotaro's place, Yuta was happy to finally be back on his feet after struggling for a while.
Yuta let his eyes slowly closed, missing how someone watched him from above, wondering why such a fleshy person was sleeping in his room that had been empty for years.
•••♡•••
Time pasted quickly and Yuta had fully set up his apartment, everything having just the perfect touch of him.
It had been a longer day for him, having had to work a double shift at his job because someone had called out last minute and Yuta was the only one even remotely qualified to take over for them.
Instead of being welcomed home by dark lights and quiet, a soft, masculine voice filled Yuta's ears.
Immediately put off by the sound, Yuta readied himself to face an intruder, grabbing an umbrella from the stand just beside his door.
Without taking off his shoes, Yuta stepped slowly into the house, avoiding making any noise as he followed the voice back to his bedroom, his heart beating rapidly out of his chest as he placed his hand on the doorknob, gripping the umbrella tighter in his fist.
Yuta quickly swung the door open, only to see nothing and no one.
Even more put off, he wandered around, checking every crack and crevice that someone could have fit in during the split second he hesitated to open the door.
Nothing.
Yuta let his shouldes relax as he sighed.
What had he heard? Who was in here before he barged in? They couldn't have just vanished, could they?
Yuta shook his head, deciding that it was probably just his tired mind playing tricks on him as he went back to the front door, taking his shoes off and placing the umbrella back in the stand.
He made his way back into the room and sat on the edge of his bed, sighing quietly before getting changed and getting under the covers, the voice from before never leaving his mind as he drifted slowly to sleep.
•••♡•••
3:06 a.m.
That's what Yuta's clock told him as he woke up, suddenly feeling thirsty.
He slowly got out of bed, placing his feet on the cold floor, tapping his toes around for a second, trying to find his slippers before standing, waddling towards the door.
Yuta let out a large yawn, covering his mouth with the back of his hand as he peered into the kitchen, seeing a short, masculine built frame standing near the sink, their head down.
He immediately stepped over, slamming the light switch.
They were gone.
Yuta took in a deep, shaky breath, now more awake than ever.
He got his glass of water and made the trek back to his room, but he didn't dare close his eyes for a second.
•••♡•••
Months had passed and Yuta was losing sleep rapidly.
He hadn't seen the boy from before for a while, and it was making him more anxious than he would like to admit.
"You don't understand Sho, I know what I saw!" He groaned at the younger, placing his hand in his hair and resting his elbow on his knee, his phone pressed against his ear as he stared at the floor of his apartment.
He would have to mop soon.
"I don't know what to tell you Yuta-san." Shotaro's sweet giggle filled Yuta's ears before he spoke again. "Maybe its a ghost!" Yuta groaned loudly, running his hand through his hair before letting it lazily slap down on his thigh. "Oh please don't joke about that.."
Shotaro let out another giggle before a voice called him away. "Anyways, I've got to go now Yuta-san, good luck with your little friend, I'll still see you tomorrow at the Café right?" Yuta nodded, knowing the younger couldn't see him. "You bet kid, see you tomorrow."
And with that, the call ended.
Yuta raised his head up, looking around his living room, pondering if he wanted to go and find a hotel to sleep in for the night so he wouldn't be late to his meet up with his friend, when that same masculine voice reached his ears, this time, they were singing.
He immediately whipped his phone out, going to the camera and hitting the button, making sure it was recording before following the voice, seeing it was once again coming from his room.
Yuta pressed the phone to the door slightly, careful not to make any noise as he also pressed his ear against the wood.
"Every time I see a spark
There's someone putting out the fire
But I will not let my grandparents
Bury their grandchild
It's a struggle back and forth and I'm learning
But it's happening by force
It's 4 a.m. and I'm fucking tired..."
The voice was strong, and most definitely male.
A sigh sounded after that verse, and Yuta immediately grabbed the handle, swinging the door open and seeing that same shorter masculine frame that he saw at the kitchen standing at his window.
Only this time, he could make out the features of the boy.
Yuta watched the boys pale blue eyes widen before disappearing, just like that night in the kitchen.
He jolted forward. "Wait!"
The word died in his throat as he looked down to see the video was still recording.
Yuta let out a sigh, rubbing the side of his head as he stopped the video, watching it over again.
•••♡•••
After that night, Yuta hoped to see the boy again, to ask him some questions.
Why was he here? Was he a ghost? Why was he haunting this place? Why was he still here anyways? Is there a heaven? A hell?
So many questions whirled in his mind, which lead him to what he was doing tonight.
Yuta glanced at the time.
3 a.m. exactly.
He looked down at the paper board in front of him and took a deep breath, flexing his finger slightly on the ten yen coin.
Licking his lips, Yuta slowly opened his mouth and started speaking, loud and clearly.
"Kokkuri-san, Kokkuri-san, if you're here, please come and move this coin."
His heart seized in his chest as he waited in anticipation, glancing over at the open window more than once as he waited for any sign of movement.
"You know.." A soft voice spoke, sounding everywhere and nowhere all at once. "You don't have to use that board to talk to me."
Yuta jumped as the window slammed shut, the figure of the boy he had been seeing slowly materializing before it, his hands still holding the sill.
"Now you've wasted a perfectly good coin, and lifted the veil between my world, and yours." The boys pale blue eyes turned to the red haired boy, watching his eyes widen more, if that was even possible.
Yuta swallowed thickly.
"Hasn't the veil already...been lifted?" He questioned, taking his hand slowly off the coin after placing it back in the Torii. "I can see you, so.."
The boy softly smiled, turning to face Yuta as he leaned ever so slightly against the window sill. "No, because I live here.." He stopped to think a moment. "Well, I guess to you it would be haunting, but same thing." He shrugged.
Yuta shook his head, gathering his thoughts.
"What's...What's your name? If you don't mind me asking?"
The boy smiled softly again. "(M/n). (F/m/n)." He leaned forward every so slightly. "It's nice to meet you, Yuta."
•••♡•••
The two boys spent the rest of the night talking, Yuta asking (m/n) every single question on his mind.
"Okay so, last two questions...if you don't mind me asking..how did you die?" Yuta asked softly, his head resting on his pillow as (m/n)'s body was hovering just above his bed.
Yuta watched as (m/n)'s content smile fell, and immediately waved his hands in front of his face. "You don't have to answer! I was just curious!"
He watched as (m/n)'s smile slowly came back, the ghostly boy sitting up and crossing his legs as he looked down at him.
"I committed suicide." (M/n) looked towards the ceiling and hummed gently. "I was getting bullied, my parents had been dead for years, and my grandparents were slowly losing their own battles, so, I did what I thought was best and took myself out of their lives so that they wouldn't have to worry about another mouth to feed." Yuta watched as (m/n)'s eyes turned sad.
"I can see now, that wasn't the right choice to make..." He whispered softly.
Yuta sat up too, trying to take (m/n)'s hand and ignoring how he had to sit with his arm suspended. "Yknow what, add another question...what business have you not completed thats keeping you here? And before I forget, is that your actual eye color? From like, before you passed?"
(M/n) chuckled, lightly shifting his hand so it looked like their fingers were intertwined. "Well, for the second question, no, my eyes used to be brown, but after you become a ghost...for some reason you lose the color in your eyes, but not your hair."
Yuta nodded, staring at their hands in thought.
"And for the first, I don't know what my business is. Thats why I'm still here." (M/n) explained gently, tilitng his head to the side.
Yuta smiled widely.
"Well! Then I guess you're stuck as my roommate then until you find out!" He showed his teeth with his smile, and it made (m/n) smile in return.
"Okay, roomie." He giggled, smiling contently down at Yuta before fading away to rest.
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Happily Ever After Chapter 9: Ships at a Distance
[AO3] - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Next Series: Objections
"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God (1937)
Remus' playlist for the party is on Spotify.
---
Logan closed his book and looked out at the snow-covered yard. After a few minutes, he stood and replaced the just-finished novel on the shelf and ran his fingers over the spines of the other books next to it, not really certain of what he was looking to read next. He took a step back and gazed across the bookcases in front of him. The books on the bottom shelf a few feet over drew his attention. He realized that one was out of order.
He walked over and crouched down, pulling out his copy of Remus' old programming book. His brow furrowed slightly, wondering why it was out of place. He paused for a moment, staring at the words on the cover before thumbing through the pages, remembering that he hadn't yet finished the dense technical text. Logan had been fascinated by the material. The book was filled with patterns for rendering games with detailed new "universes" that followed cohesive but unique physical laws. Logan had been completely out of his depth with portions of the material, but he'd enjoyed it - for more than just the obvious reasons. He was about to return the book to its proper spot when he noticed writing on the title page. Frowning, he flipped open the cover of the book all the way and read what had been written.
Lo,
You are my Universe.
♡ Remus
Logan half-sat and half-fell to the floor with a small thud. He stared at the words on the page, tears starting to form in his eyes, breath catching in his throat. Shaking, he closed the book and held it between his palms, bringing it up and resting his forehead against the spine. "Oh, my god, Remus ... "
He thought about the day of the bonfire last Fall when, after spending a roller coaster of a day together, Remus had asked to kiss him. He remembered the look on Remus' face after he'd backed away. After he'd shaken his head no. When he'd wanted to say yes. Logan dropped the book and it landed in his lap.
Logan had very nearly said yes.
Logan fell into his memories. He recalled his happiest moments over the past two years. Every single one was when he had been with his sons ... or with Remus. Many were when they were all together. Logan smiled as he thought about how, outside of Janus and Roman, Remus was the only adult he'd ever met who didn't try to shut down Patton's excitability within the first hour of meeting him. He could see that Remus had earned Remy's trust and respect, a hard-won gift. With a sharp pang in his chest, he thought about that dark time when Remus was the only person on the planet who could make Virgil crack a smile.
Logan also thought about all the nights the two of them had spent watching old Star Trek and Doctor Who episodes, laughing at the lousy effects and mimicking everyone's catch phrases. He thought about Remus' outrageous innuendos and his biting humor. He thought about the way Remus flipped his hair, and his strong hands, and the way his eyes had sparkled in the light of the bonfire. He thought about how Remus had been the rock he could cling to during the storms of Virgil's treatment ... and, frankly, his own.
And he thought about the sheer terror he'd felt when he feared that Remus had been seriously injured by the fire mishap, and the bone-deep relief when he saw that Remus would be fine.
"Oh my god," he whispered. Logan squeezed his eyes shut. "But, how can I lo- I'm not - ," Logan covered his face with his hands. His shoulders sank with a shuddering sigh.
"But I can't be."
Logan swallowed against the lump in his throat and pulled out his phone. He texted Janus, "𝙲𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛?"
...
Janus had stood at Logan's front door for several minutes with no response to the multiple times he had rung the bell. He knew Logan was expecting him. He could see Logan's car in the driveway, so there was no question of whether he was home. Finally, Janus tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. "Logan?," he called out. Janus cautiously poked his head through the doorway, breathing deeply against his worry about his friend's unusual behavior.
"I'm in here, Janus," Logan's voice was flat but he didn't sound injured. Janus blew out a slow breath when he turned the corner into the dining area, where Logan sat, staring at his lap. Logan's hair was a wild crown, and, from where he stood, Janus could see some smudges on his glasses. A half-filled mug sat in front of him and his pajamas were wrinkled. It was 11:30 in the morning and Logan Sanders was ... unkempt. Janus swallowed back a comment and quietly set the usual bag from Downpour on the table, pulling up a chair to sit across from his best friend.
"Where is everyone?," Janus asked at last.
Logan looked up, mouth open slightly, looking a little surprised at the sudden question. He blinked as though trying to remember. "Remy's out with Emile ... researching apartments near the school." Logan's eyes focused and his voice grew just a bit stronger as he continued. "They plan to meet us at the party tonight. Remy was going to drop off Virgil and Patton at your house on the way to Emile's."
"So what are you doing here?," Janus left eyebrow slightly raised. Logan looked down at his hands in his lap. "Hiding out?" Logan pressed his lips together and didn't speak. Asked and answered, Janus thought.
Logan looked across the table and peered into Janus' eyes for a moment. He looked back down at his lap, jaw muscles working as he ground his teeth. Finally, "How did you know?," he asked quietly.
Janus frowned a bit at the ambiguous question. He had some idea of what Logan likely meant, but he wanted to be sure. "How did I know what, Lo?," he said gently.
Logan looked up at his closest friend. They had been friends nearly their entire adult lives but there were still a few things they didn't talk about. He sucked in a deep breath and asked quickly before he could reconsider, "How did you know you were gay?"
Janus was momentarily stunned by the question. That was not what Janus had expected him to say. He steepled his fingers together in front of him as looked at Logan carefully. He tilted his head a bit, finally saying, "Are you asking about me?," he paused for a moment, softening his tone even further. "Or are you asking about you?"
Logan squinted and twisted his mouth while he sat with Janus' question. Janus waited.
Wordlessly, Logan pulled out the book he'd been gripping under the table and placed it in front of them. Janus' confused furrow erased once he read the author's name. "So that's who the copy was really for," he muttered under his breath. Janus started silently counting months. "Lo ...," Janus sought out Logan's eyes. "How long have you felt this way?"
Logan delicately tapped Remus' name on the cover of the book, tracing the letters. He looked up and met Janus' eyes.
"I - I've really fucked up, Jan."
Janus placed a hand over Logan's. "I'm listening."
...
Logan sat nearly motionlessly and told Janus the entire story, including everything from the day of the bonfire. He told him how he had rejected Remus and how he'd just let him leave without talking about it, without even offering to drive him back across the lake. Logan told Janus how he'd avoided being alone with Remus ever since - and how he suspected that Remus was probably doing the same.
He told him how he'd found an inscription from Remus in the book and that he was ashamed to realize he wasn't even certain when he must have written it.
He even told Janus about his nightmare about Remus and Kelly from last year. "My very, very first thought, though, when I woke, " he paused, and it was clear to Janus that this was difficult for Logan to admit to himself, let alone say aloud. Logan swallowed, knowing the only way out of this was through it. "When I first woke ... I did not feel as though Remus had supplanted me in some idyllic picture of a happy marriage." Logan paused, swallowing, squeezing his eyes shut. "I felt replaced by Kelly in that vision."
Logan stopped talking but Janus could see by the tightness in his jaw and his stick-straight posture that there was something else he needed to say. Logan gripped his own hands on the tabletop, staring at his knuckles. "I ... feel something for Remus that I have never felt for anyone else." Janus raised his eyebrows a bit at the emphasis Logan put on the word "anyone," but he didn't interrupt. "How can something like this even be possible?
Logan finishes his tale, looks up and sees Janus ... smiling?
"Are you ... laughing at me?"
"No, Lo, I'm not laughing at you." Janus leaned back in his chair, palms pressed together. "So you've finally noticed that Remus is a very attractive man." Logan looked up at the tone in Janus' voice. "Yes, of course I've noticed, as well." Janus looked meaningfully at Logan. "I did choose to marry his nearly identical twin." Logan blushed a bit as he realized he'd never really considered that Remus and Roman shared the same features and physique. They were both so different to him. "I digress. So you're feeling an attraction to Remus. It's perfectly normal." Janus struggled to keep a sarcastic tone out of his voice. "In fact," he said, waving a hand to gesture toward Logan's bookshelves, "I'm quite confident you have a copy of a book by that title that you might find helpful ... " Logan seemed to shrink in his seat a bit and Janus softened his voice. "Lo, you can be attracted to both men and women. It's almost as though it's all ... a spectrum?," Janus spread his hands in an opening up gesture, just the hint of a rainbow shape.
Logan remained silent in his seat. Janus finally opened the bag from Downpour, sliding a cup across the table to Logan. Janus sipped at his own coffee for a few minutes, eyes trained on him.
There was still one more issue to address.
Janus put down his cup and folded his hands in front of him. "I once told you that you get one free lesson in How Not to Be a Dick 101." Logan looked up, eyes locked on Janus' face. That got his attention, Janus thought. "Consider this one to be from the 200 series." Janus pierced Logan with his eyes and took a deep breath. "Your inability to be honest with yourself about how you're feeling is hurting a very dear man." Logan pulled off his glasses and squeezed his eyes closed, pressing his fingers against his brow, slouching in his seat. "Ultimately, it doesn't actually matter how you choose to describe who you are. What matters is how you choose to treat the people you care about." Janus looked carefully at Logan. "Do you care for Remus?"
"More than I ever thought could be possible." Janus was again a little surprised by his response. Logan pressed his lips together, replacing his glasses and looking down at his palms, tracing the scars on his left hand, remembering the heat of Remus' hand gripped in his own. "Jan, I think ... " Logan swallowed against the lump in his throat, chest tightening. "Jan ... I love him." He looked up at Janus with tears in his eyes. Logan slowly shook his head from side to side. "What am I going to do?"
Janus smiled. "You're going to go get your Prince, that's what you're going to do."
Logan let out a choked laugh. "A bit fairy tale, don't you think?"
Smiling, Janus shook his head and put his hands over Logan's. "It's exactly like a fairy tale. Up you get and into a shower." Janus said as he stood and pulled Logan to his feet. "It's time to get you ready for the ball."
...
Logan was standing on the upper deck of the ship, helping direct guests, when he saw Remy and Emile walking up the gangway. Music from the dance floor below wafted through the air. He smiled as they approached him. Logan thought Emile looked nervous. Emile kept reaching into his pocket, fiddling with what Logan guessed was a fidget cube, and looking around the ship's deck as though he was looking for someone.
"Hello, Mr. Sanders," Emile said, his voice a little more strained than typical. "It's good to see you, sir. How are you doing this evening?"
"I'm doing very well, thank you, Emile. How are you?" Logan's smile grew as they fell into their familiar rhythm. Remy and Emile had been dating for over three years. Despite that, Emile had never really dropped his slightly formal speech pattern when speaking with Logan, and it was most noticeable when he seemed anxious. When Logan had mentioned his observation to Remy once last year, Remy had laughed and hugged his dad, saying that's what made Emile fit in so well with the family.
"Relieved that my fellowship came through," Emile admitted.
Logan smiled at the young man, resisting the temptation to point out that he appeared to have grown taller just since the summer so as not to embarrass him further. "It is so nice to see you again. It has been quite a while." Logan noticed Emile's eyes scanning the upper deck of the ship again. "Janus and Roman are below deck on the dance floor, if that is who you are looking for," Logan added.
Remy squeezed Emile's hand. "Babe, I need to help out for a while. Can I meet you on the dance floor in about fifteen minutes?" Emile's eyes widened a bit and he looked thoughtful, but nodded and kissed Remy's cheek.
"Of course," Emile murmured. "I'll see you then." Logan narrowed his eyes slightly. Did Emile look relieved? As soon as Remy was out of sight, Emile grabbed Logan's arm and whispered, "May I speak with you, Mr. Sanders, before I need to get back to Rem?"
Logan's shoulders tightened for a brief moment until he registered the grin that had broken out over Emile's face. Looking around them and appearing satisfied that they were actually alone, Emile held a finger to his lips and reached into the pocket he'd been fidgeting with earlier. Logan couldn't help the tiny surprised squeak that escaped when he saw the small square box in Emile's hand.
"I wanted to tell you first, Mr. Sanders, that I'm going to ask Remy to marry me tonight."
...
The deck below had been decorated like a grand ballroom. The focal point of the room was the dance floor, already crowded with dancers, and the raised DJ platform, where Virgil held a headset to his ear with one hand and flipped through the upcoming track list with another. This would be the first time Logan would actually be able to see Virgil mix sound. In all the shows he'd been to before, the sound booth was tucked away in the back of the theatre, hidden from view. And most of that sound work had been merely following queues.
Looking around the rest of the room, Logan saw that all around the edges were nearly a dozen small banquet tables, draped in the light yellow tablecloths Logan and Janus had struggled to fit into the back of Roman's car. The tables were draped with red tulle bunting, with a centerpiece on each. What appeared to be thousands of tealights twinkled everywhere Logan's eyes landed.
Remus' voice sounded near Logan's ear. "Pretty amazing, isn't it?," Logan whipped his head around in surprise. He hadn't noticed Remus' approach. Remus looked around the room, gesturing at the finery. "Roman had one of his set designer friends bring in a little crew to help set this all up."
Logan's voice failed as he opened his mouth to agree. He nodded instead, adjusting his glasses and looking closely at Remus. Gone was the usual battered leather jacket and tight jeans. Instead, Remus wore a black tuxedo similar to the one Logan was wearing, except with a black waistcoat trimmed in the same green as his hair and a matching bow tie. The tie, however, was undone, draped over Remus' neck, framing the open collar of his shirt, where Remus had left the top three buttons undone. Logan swallowed dryly.
Starships started to play. One benefit of a playlist from 2012 was that even Logan knew the song - and he knew it had more than its fair share of explicit lyrics. Logan peered at Remus, who feigned an innocent look. Logan caught Virgil's eye and gestured, waving a hand across his throat in a "cut it" signal at the same time Roman jumped up and down calling out "Turn it up!", dancing with a group of his theatre friends. Remus and Virgil both shrugged, then Virgil pulled over the keyboard for his sound kit and tugged on his monitoring headset. Logan watched, listening to the song. "I'm a blow off my money and don't give two ~~~~, oh-oh," Virgil looked up at Logan and gave him thumbs up before returning his attention to the music, ready for the next line.
Logan smiled, returning the thumbs-up. He looked around and realized Remus was no longer standing near him. He gazed across the dance floor but couldn't spot him in the press of bodies. Logan stood at the edge of the dance floor and listened to the music for a bit before he turned around and finally noticed Remus off in a corner. Remus was surrounded by Patton and most of the younger guests, animatedly waving his arms around while pointing to some feature of the ship, apparently miming an explosion. His antics had captured the attention of the little group and they appeared to be thoroughly distracted from the potentially explicit lyrics. Remus noticed that Logan was watching them, winked, then returned his attention to Patton and the others.
When the next song started - and it had become clear that Virgil would be able to reliably slip reverse through any swear words, Remus made his way back to where Logan was standing. They looked out over the dance floor.
Remus gently elbowed Logan's side, sounding mockingly shocked: "Janus is dancing to this one? He seems entirely too .. suave to dance to LMFAO. I haven't seen him dance to actual club music since ...," Remus trailed off, whether to calculate the years or something else.
"He is surprisingly free-spirited when placed in the proper environment." Logan said, watching Janus and Roman dance together. "And he would do anything to make Roman smile."
Remus smiled sadly, swaying a bit to the music. Finally, he leaned closer to Logan, and opened his mouth to speak. Logan, still watching Janus and Roman, spoke first. "You know, they very nearly didn't get married back then."
"No, I ... I actually didn't know that." Logan glanced at Remus in surprise, then quickly looked away to prevent himself from staring. "Cold feet?," Remus asked.
Logan nodded, "He was absolutely terrified. Afraid of one day just losing his love, afraid of falling out of love with him, afraid of infidelity ... truly and utterly afraid of everything that could go wrong."
"They're so happy now that it's hard to imagine." Remus is a little shaken at the thought of how close his brother and Janus came to not making it. If even they struggled ... He pushed the thought away. "I'm glad my brother was able to convince Janus to go for it."
Logan turned to face Remus completely, shaking his head. "You misunderstand. Janus was not at all reluctant to get married. Roman was."
The moment the words left his mouth, Some Nights started to play and the dance floor erupted in singing. At the center, they could see Roman had leapt up onto a chair, leading and singing along. After the introduction, he jumped down and Logan could see that his friends from the cabaret spread throughout the crowd, clapping and stomping and encouraging other guests to join in. Logan thought it looked nearly choreographed - and knowing Roman, it very well may have been. He wouldn't put it past him to find a way to sneak a look at the playlist before the party. Logan and Remus watched the spectacle and even sang along to the parts they knew.
Janus and Roman danced and sang together, drawing close to one another for the slower moments in the song. Janus spotted Remy in the crowd slowly swaying with Emile, as the lyrics rang out, " ... and when I look into my nephew's eyes, man you won't believe the most amazing things that can come from some most terrible lies ... "
Roman watched Janus closely, seeing a few tears spill. He brushed his fingers against Janus' cheek, smiling and gently drying the tears away. "Oh, Sweetheart ... " He looked into Janus' eyes and saw something that made his smile grow. "You really are ready, aren't you?" Janus grinned and spun Roman around in response.
Pulling him close again, and as the music and singing grew louder, Roman murmured in Janus' ear, "You're going to be a great dad."
...
The music played on.
As the last bars of Titanium ended, a very familiar synth rhythm and pounding piano notes began. Logan looked at Remus, laughing. "This song is from 1983."
"Yeah," Remus shrugged as he watched his brother excitedly recognize the opening bars. "But it's Ro Bro's favorite." He nodded at the dance floor which had erupted in small groups dancing and singing. "It seems like a popular choice." Suddenly, Logan and Remus were surrounded by Remy, Emile, and Patton and pulled into the crowd.
"We're not going to let you just stand there all night!," Patton shouted, laughing. "Come and dance!" The group danced together for several songs, playfully grouping together, shifting, and turning to dance with other friends in the crowd. From time to time, Logan and Remus found themselves face to face, broken off from the rest of the group.
As the music continued, Remus looked up and caught Virgil's eye, who sent him a little two-fingered salute. Remus saluted back and listened as the music shifted to a low, deep rhythm. Rhianna's voice emerged from the speakers, wrapping the dancers in sound.
... I know you've been hurt by some else, I can tell by the way you carry yourself
Their eyes met and Logan could feel a flush running up his neck and face. The music was thrumming a deep bass through their bodies.
... If you let me, here's what I'll do, I'll take care of you. I've loved and I've lost ...
As the lyrics swirled over them, Logan watched as Remus' expression fell, eyes turning glossy. Remus looked just as he did the night of the bonfire. Loved and lost ... am I too late?, Logan thought as a lump grew in his throat.
At that moment, the crowd shifted and another group slipped between Logan and Remus. Someone Logan recognized from QLaw - Pedro? he wondered automatically - took the opportunity to start dancing with Remus. Logan edged away from the crowd, watching them dance. Remus turned to try and catch Logan's eye, who pressed a smile onto his face and waved at Remus in a "go on, have fun," motion. Remus, expression inscrutable, swallowed back a response and faced his new dance partner again.
... I've asked about you and they've told me things ...
As the song played, Logan tried not to stare at the pair. Instead, he methodically shifted his gaze from watching Remy and Emile, and Janus and Roman dancing, Virgil at the sound board, and Patton, who had resumed exploring the room with a little collection of kids around his age. Only then would he allow himself a quick look back to Remus and Pedro. Once, Logan looked over and saw that Remus had been watching him, as well. Logan quickly looked away and moved further from the dance floor.
... If you let me, here's what I'll do, I'll take care of you. I've loved and I've lost
Remus leaned in closer to Pedro, "I need to go check on my friend." He flashed a quick, small smile. "Thanks for the dance." Pedro watched him edge through the crowd for a moment, shrugged and turned to dance with someone else.
Remus scanned the room, looking for Logan, as the music shifted again. His eyes passed over Virgil, who gestured with his chin toward the staircase to the upper deck, where he caught a glimpse of Logan's retreat. Virgil mouthed, "GO!," at Remus, who quickly followed after Logan.
...
"Well, hello there. Come here often?," Remus had finally caught sight of Logan on the starboard side of the ship, leaning on the railing, looking at the water below. He waggled his eyebrows exaggeratedly, poking fun at the overused line. He made a show of sliding along the deck, easing closer to him, giving Logan plenty of time to step away, or turn around, or leave again ..., an awful voice in Remus' head intoned. Logan turned to watch Remus approach. A small smile spread on his face and he didn't move from his spot.
Logan chuckled a bit and then took in a deep breath. "I just needed some air."
Remus nodded as though he accepted Logan's response. He then turned around and leaned his back against the railing, his gaze moving along the length of the ship. A bright smile suddenly spread on his face as he nudged Logan with his elbow. "Don't look now," Remus said in a low voice, "And of course by that I mean, quick, turn around and look right now ..." Logan knit his brows together and turned to follow Remus' gaze toward the other end of the ship. Logan turned in just enough time to see Emile on one knee, handing something small to Remy, who quickly pulled him in for a tight hug. "I think you're about to be a father-in-law, Lo."
Face split in a huge grin, Logan chuckled, whispering back to Remus, "Just wait ..." At that moment Remy pulled away from the hug and reached into his pocket to pull out a similarly-sized box. Remus turned to Logan, eyes dancing. "How did you -," he started to ask.
"Remy told me last month that he was planning on asking Emile to marry him tonight," Logan spoke softly, not trusting how far their voices would carry. "And, about an hour ago, Emile told me that he'd planned to do the same."
"Keeper of keys and secrets, at Hogwarts, I see."
Logan shrugged happily and the two fell back into silence, hearing the music from below. Logan pulled off his glasses to polish the lenses and then replaced them, while Remus tried to concentrate on the slow shifting of the deck, listening to the water gently lapping at the side of the ship.
Suddenly Logan spoke, turning to face him. "I found the inscription you wrote in your book." Remus held his breath and he bit at the inside of his cheek. Logan swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I am so very sorry, Remus. I - " He licked his lips and looked down at his feet. Remus felt his stomach sink as his mind finished Logan's sentence for him. I am sorry but you must know that I just do not feel that way about you ...
Gathering his courage, Logan reached out and cupped Remus' cheek, consciously mirroring that wonderful, awful night. He held Remus' eyes in his own, afraid if he didn't, he would never actually say this. "I treated you horribly that night all because I was afraid to admit - " Remus' eyes had widened when Logan's fingers touched his face and now were bright and tear-filled. "I was too hung up to be able to admit that ... I ... have developed feelings for you, as well." Logan lowered his hand and closed his eyes, bowing his head, ashamed of everything he'd put this man through. "I am so, so sorry. I ... I ... it appears that I have acknowledged my feelings too late and have squandered this opportunity with you." Logan swallowed hard and squared his shoulders. "I also recognize this apology is likely in no way commensurate with the pain I have caused you. I know I do not have the right to ask, but I hope that you can forgive me someday."
Logan turned to walk away as the music faded between songs.
Remus stood in stunned silence for a few moments until he heard quiet guitar music wafting up from the dance floor below decks. He quickly stepped forward, reaching for Logan's hand, and smiled. "May I have this dance?"
Logan looked at him in surprise but nodded. Remus pulled Logan into his arms, swaying slowly to the beat of the song. Part-way through the first verse, Remus started to sing, his voice a little rough with tears.
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
A tiny sob escaped Logan's lips and he tucked his head in the crook of Remus' neck to hide his face. Remus kept one arm around Logan's waist, and brought his other hand to the back of Logan's head, gently carding fingers through his hair, swaying to the music.
Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
Logan raised his head to face Remus. "I don't yet have all of this figured out. Are you certain ... " His voice trailed, unsure what he was asking of him.
Still dancing, Remus looked into Logan's eyes. "Lo, my whole life everyone's said that all I needed was to meet the right person and ... grow up. Soften my sharp edges." He smiled, fingers brushing Logan's hair from his face. Logan shuddered briefly, overwhelmed, but then leaned in to his hand, closing his eyes. Remus' smile grew. "But I call bullshit." Logan's eyes snapped open at his words. "I'm standing here with the right person here in my arms and all I want to do is fight harder. Love hasn't made me soft. It's made me tougher." Remus paused. "Love has given me someone to fight for."
At the bridge of the song, Remus suddenly spun Logan in a twirl and continued singing along.
And in the end, you're still my friend, at least we did intend
For us to work, we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Logan was now grinning, both at the suddenness of the twirl, which he now reversed so he could twirl Remus, and with hope for what lay ahead for the two of them together.
Well, I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough enough
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it (And we're worth it)
As the music slowed again, they each drew the other nearer to close the distance between them.
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
They stilled as the song ended, but didn't move away from each other's arms. Logan's eyes met his. "Remus, I - " his voice broke. Remus nodded slowly in encouragement, gently placing one hand on the side of Logan's neck, tracing his jaw with a thumb. Logan swallowed and tried again. "Remus ... I believe I love you."
A watery smile slowly spread across Remus' features. "Oh, Lo," he whispered as if he feared to speak any louder lest he break some spell. He brushed his fingers against Logan's cheek. Holding his breath for a few seconds, at last he asked, "Lo, my love, may I kiss you?" Logan grinned and nodded, thrilled to have a second chance to answer the way he really wanted. He brought both hands to Remus' face and joined him in a long, soft kiss.
After a few minutes, footsteps approached and Patton's voice suddenly sounded from behind Remus, "Hey, Remus ... Have you seen Dad around?"
Remus turned toward Patton, revealing a blushing Logan, one hand still cupping Remus' cheek. "Pat -," Logan began. Patton's stared for a moment and then his face bloomed in a wide smile.
"Well it's about time!" He turned with a little wave, dashing back to the lower deck and shouted in the direction of the staircase. "Oh, Vir-gil ... " he called out is a sing-song taunt. "You owe me ten bucks!"
Logan couldn't decide if he should die or cry or laugh. Remus smiled, again running a hand through Logan's hair. He grinned a little wider as he realized that he couldn't keep his hands away from those dark locks.
Logan opened his mouth, brows knit in confusion. "Wait just one moment," Logan bit hit lip in thought. He took a breath, pointing toward where Patton had stood. "Did Patton just say 'it's about time!' ?" Remus nodded, suppressing a chuckle, green eyes dancing. Logan took another breath, shaking his head slightly. "Did everyone know but me?"
Remus can't control his laughter. He nodded, fingers still entwined in Logan's hair, murmuring, "Pretty much, Lo."
He took a moment to process this. "I should ... I should probably get back down there," Logan said at last.
"Oh, Lo-Lo," Remus practically growled, pulling Logan closer, hands gently dragging down from his neck to his back. "Please don't go ... not yet." Remus smiled down at Logan with love laced with promise ... and heat.
Logan flushed and smiled as he met Remus' eyes. He then knew with complete certainty that he was right where he needed to be. His eyes matched the heat in Remus' as he whispered, "Where were we, then, Love?"
Closing his eyes, Logan leaned forward to kiss his Prince.
Epilogue:
After giving Logan and Remus a bit of privacy for a few songs, Patton finally managed to convince the new couple to come back down to the dance floor and join the rest of the party. They danced together all night.
But wait - the music is still playing ...
Logan and Remus swayed together on the dance floor as the opening notes to the last song of the night warbled through the air. Logan closed his eyes for a moment, a look of peace falling over his features as he breathed in deeply. He looked up at Remus, murmuring, "This is my favorite song," then rested his head again on Remus' shoulder.
Remus smiled and hummed, "I know. Virgil told me." He could feel Logan chuckle in response against his neck. They danced together, listening to the first verses of the song. Remus thought about the winding path that had led them to that moment, Logan in his arms, a deep contentment washing over them both. A thought suddenly bubbles to the surface of his mind.
"There's something I'm still wondering about," Remus murmured into Logan's hair.
"Hmmm...," Logan hummed in response. "What is that?"
"How did you get a copy of my book? It's been out of print for five years."
"Oh, right." Logan blushed and tucked his head back into the crook of Remus' neck.
Soft laughter rumbled in Remus' chest. "That's not an answer, Lo."
He sighed, looking up at Remus with ... Was that embarrassment? "I asked Roman to help me obtain a copy of your book," Logan admitted at last. "He happened to have an extra."
Remus looked over to where Roman and Janus were slowly dancing together and smiled. " 'Extra' plus 'Roman' in the same sentence, that checks out," Remus laughed, shaking his head. "It's funny he didn't mention that to me."
"That ... is likely because I told him it was a surprise for Remy and asked him not to bring it up."
Remus hummed, accepting his answer for the moment. "But wait - how did you know ... Did you Google me? I don't remember telling you about that book. It's kind of niche and ..."
"And you would never bring it up yourself because your hyper-sexualized flamboyancy and braggadocios are sometimes just an act? And beneath it you're actually quite humble?" Logan interjected, grinning up at him. Remus was shocked into momentary silence, staring down into his eyes.
Logan leaned in and gently kissed the surprised expression from Remus' face, replacing it with a soft smile. "You're not the only one who can see inside the man he loves more clearly than his love sees himself."
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