#[ verse i. ]

[smoothmovesbaby]

@butnobodyhome from here

"My talents lie elsewhere, baby. But broads that can croak out a little tune are a dime a dozen, so if you're smart, you'll go along with whatever I tell ya, dig? It's just a little costume change. Wear a sack after the show, for all I care."

[bornfornothin]

@afraidofchange​ liked for a job joke

“So this guy owns a piano bar, and he has this piano player come and audition for him. The dude writes all his own songs, he says, and he’s great, y’know. The guy says, wow, whattaya call that one? Piano player says, ass out at Macy’s. He plays another song for him, and this one’s even better, so he asks him again, and the guy says, big titty mama. The guy is like, okay, you’re hired, but when you’re done playin’, don’t talk to nobody, just go have some drinks at the bar.

“He plays that night, and everything goes great. He finishes and has a couple drinks, then he goes and takes a piss. When he comes out, this lady goes, do ya know your fly is down and your schvantz is out? The piano player says, know it? I wrote it!”

[sparebutton]

(Across the Spider-Verse spoiler)

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

[burnt-squid]

if we get some kind of reunion between these two in btsv i’ll bawl my eyes out

[pbnmj]

THE NOIR-HOBIE INTERACTIONS THAT I MADE UP IN MY MIND ARE VERY REAL TO ME. SONY PLEASE PICK UP WHAT I’M PUTTING DOWN!!!

[shayneysides]

hobie: kill yourself

pavitr: WHAT THE HELL BRO WHAT DID I DO

original format from @ha-youwish in this post!

[sapphic-storm69]

Spiderverse thots

[cqcophobiq]

alright listen spiderverse fandom. love hobie’s design, but why’s he’s always in his work outfit in group art or fics even when the others are in casual clothes? punk fashion is so cool. look!! look at the things he’d be wearing when he’s clocked out

[bornfornothin]

@sleazygoing​​ asked: ❛ you look like you had some fun . ❜

SOME OLD MEME.

After struggling with the door for a few too many minutes, Job’s finally stumbled in, taking almost as long to get it shut behind him. His hair isn’t in its usual carefully styled state, instead ruffled and sticking up in places that Job, when sober, wouldn’t allow. One of his canary yellow sneakers is untied, there’s some sort of wet stain on the front of his yellow and orange shirt, and a few smudges of lipstick on his neck and cheek.

“Huh? Oh. Oh, yeah. I had some fun. I was, uh... I dunno where the hell I was, actually. I met a chick named... Barbara? Buh... Bodega? I dunno. I don’t think she said. And, uh...” he pauses as he struggles to remove his shoes, stumbling and falling back against the wall.

“Fuck.” Conceding with his lack of balance, Job unstably lowers himself to sit on the floor while trying to remember how to untie his shoe. “Ya been here long, sugar? I missed ya. Fuck. Can ya get these stupid shoes off ‘a me?"

[arguablysomaya]

ATSV + textposts/tweets

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Quick little drawing of our favourite queer Spideys 😌

Guys you can use this as a banner or a background or a header or whatever, as long as it’s credited you’re free to do so <333

[boymagicked]

@lastsurvivor queries: ⏳!!!!

BACKSTORY MEME. always accepting.

"You know, I think sometimes I lose sight of how lucky I really am. When I first... well, when my magick first began to show... I was so frightened. I had no idea what was happening to me. And my parents, they must've been terrified... but they never let me see. They've always been so supportive. We learned as much as we could about magick together. They bought me books, try to help me practice, and they never push me too hard even though I know I could be so much more help in the field and in the smithy. As for Laura... Laura's always been there for me. She does everything she can to make me smile and make things a little bit easier for me, and as for Lyric... well, every day he looks at me like I hung the moon. I don't know what I've done to deserve them, but I love them all very much."

[amartworks]

While listening to Hobie's contemporary records an incredibly vital question comes up… does he know?

[jules-hoard-of-stuff]

PSA for Across the Spiderverse:

Do NOT see the new Spiderverse movie if you have any form of epileptic condition or conditions affected by bright lights and rapidly changing colors.

I will not be spoiling the plot or anything happening in it, but it is important that people know, because ohhh my god the AMOUNT of flashing lights and rapidly changing colors from beginning to end was so rampant that even I, a non-epileptic autistic person, got a severe headache and wild overstimulation. They do not give a warning in theaters at all that this movie is NOT epileptic friendly from the literal beginning with the beginning credits - which is so, so sad!

This is a beautifully made film, it's wonderful, it's amazing, but unfortunately, it's not a good time for anyone super affected by bright flashing lights in rapid succession, especially those seizure prone.

I wanted to put this out there BECAUSE there are no theater warnings. Idk if anyone else has put it out there, but it is SUPER IMPORTANT!!!

I wish you all a lovely day and hope they eventually have a remaster that will be much more friendly to epileptic and other people affected by bright, flashing lights.

(EDIT: Changed all text to plain text for screen readers! Sorry about that, my bad!)

SECOND EDIT: please do not fight in the comments of my post please... if you guys wanna talk stuff out in DMs, that is a-okay and not my business but I directly get notifications for everyone's comments and replies- including people fighting in the comments.

I understand that some theaters have warnings in them. Mine did not, and many other peoples' did not. It seems to be a theater by theater basis, so please understand that is where I'm coming from. If you had a warning in your theater, that is wonderful! And I'm very grateful that ya'lls theaters had warnings! That is a great sign. But please under stand that mine and many others' theaters don't have warnings.

Please take any arguments off my post, it is not meant to be grounds for heated discussion, just a warning for people who are photosensitive or epileptic. Thank you.

[ebonyheartnet]

-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.