#[ANYWAY I should be sleeping oops]

[moeblob]

I'm literally both at the exact same time and I don't know how I've survived this long.

[todayisafridaynight]

sequel to this lil thang

[altruistic-meme]

so you’re telling me that Drottningholm Palace is a tourist destination. so. so Simon could technically just fucking. go to Wilhelm’s house. like casually and legally he can do that.

[flowering-darkness]

I may have erred (rambling about reborn and my selfships for it instead of going to bed)

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 61

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[image description: an sac webcomic page. jade runs out the door, followed by lewis, the two viewed shoulders up from behind, followed by a panel of their feets running down a hallway to another door. the hallway is unlit, the wallpaper purple with dark wood panelling. a hand grasps the doorframe, faete's hand on the kitchen doorframe, the panel framed as if from her point of view, partially seeing lewis as he turns out of view past the end door, leading to another hallway with slightly warmer purple walls. a window is visible through the doorframe, moonlight shining through the boards and broken glass. the panel flips as is being viewed through said window, showing lewis partially visible between the window planks, still facing away from the viewer. the door to the hallway he just came is open still, shrouded in darkness aside from two glowing pink eyes.

i know logically the light has no reason to get warmer but i'm having fun here with moods and symbolism

anyway i'm back!

happy new year, hope yall are doing well!

current book update: all main pages are done and ready to go (for a first draft i mean, still needs final checks and spellchecking). still need to make a cover and finish prologue redrawing. end of feburary is still an unlikely finish date but i'm going to go for it anyway because if i dont make up a fake deadline for myself then nothings going to get done

[nabaath-areng]

I feel so strange thinking about how I considered myself "new" in FFXIV for the longest time, as when I started playing there were so many legacy players around. I saw their mounts and their titles, I talked to them, played with them, and to me they were the experienced ones teaching me how to play my first MMO. For years I considered myself a newbie.

And then, just the other day, I see in the chat of an FC I was invited to on an alt, people talking about having played for a long time, and their longest playing member having been around for 5 years. It hit me just how long of a time that is, and how much longer passed before I'd even realized it.

I ask others if they remember various things from the past, and I can count on one hand the amount of people I meet in recent years who do. So many things I still consider new and flashy, like Gpose and job gauges for instance, have now been in the game far longer than they have not. It's a strange situation caused by me losing about a decade's worth of memories and life (due to mental health issues that practically broke me) as well as the normal feeling ot time passing without me really thinking about it. Less and less did I see the legacy titles and mounts, but I didn't pay much heed. Until one day I suddenly stop and look around, realizing that I haven't seen any legacy players at all for a while. I'm certain they're out there, but most likely not in the same sheer abundance as before.

It's a bit similar to real life, where my home was once just an old, secluded village that have now become geographically closer to the city without ever moving. Where the others I used to surround myself with have all moved on in slow trickles over the years, and where I cannot expect everyone to remember the same things that I do. So many new people everywhere, some that cause lines in the grocery store that can afford to keep running after all these years, and some that fail to load in on my weak little laptop's screen.

It's like I have two homes mirroring each other, and obviously that means I age in both of them. I bought this game as a gift for myself on my 18th birthday... and here I am 10 years later, turning 28 today, and realizing that I'm still here in both places despite everything. Waiting for another expansion all over again, just like when I was staying alive just because I wanted to play Heavensward so bad.

I can't even begin to count just how many people I've known and interacted with throughout the years in this game. There are memories that my years of paranoia and psychosis stole from me (something which I only shook off the last remnants of half a year ago), of people who I know were important to me but who I'm also unable recall much about beyond their names, which is something which fills me with both deep shame and sorrow. Some I remain in touch with to this day, and some I am mutuals with on various sites, even if we don't chat regularly anymore.

There's a lot that I don't remember, or that I even memorized in the first place. Things have changed time and again for both better and worse. But FFXIV has remained a constant throughout it all, even when I've been unsubbed due to lack of a PC and just on a general break.

I don't know what my point is with all of this really, but I guess I just really wanted to get it off my chest. It's not all sunshine and rainbows these days either, but my mental health is better than it's ever been, I have a partner and friends and family who all mean the world to me, and even though some things will forever be less than ideal, I am so so so happy that I didn't give up. Staying alive really was the best decision I ever made ❤️

[alwaysneedyforsir]

back to bad habits (staying absurdly late at practice)

[kishigunpla]

Back in doujinshi researcher mode.

Planning a write up on the history of Charma vs Charmuro and when each came to prominence because I think it's a bit more complicated than I initially realized. The 80s belonged to Charma of course but it's interesting trying to figure out where it all went from there and why.

[heartbeetz]

I wanna know if Anton's va/creator had any specific regional accent/dialect in mind when deciding on his voice. Bc it sounds like there's maybe Something distinct there, but I can't for the life of me tell what it is. It may even be nothing.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

big brother jun'ichirou saveme.

[devotion-between-the-wheat]

I've kinda gone back and forth about the when and how my si gets actual, or close to it, info about the v/ur.izen aka v|ergil situation in d.mc5. but the current idea that I'm liking at the moment is basically this:

after splitting from v and so on, and going with nero to do the second round of fighting ur.izen: electric boogaloo mix, the si is able to get a better read of what's going on with ur.izen.

specifically his status of slowly dying, but using his apocalyptic tree as a makeshift life support.

anyway, cue a stealing of v|ergil's sword/ur.izen's shield, and the fight still just not going well for nero (sorry hon, gotta maintain some og plot integrity here).

then jumpcut past other plots, then to everyone reconnecting later to make new plans and the race to third fight with ur.izen.

so at that point it let's v and my si have a moment together, whilst everyone else is busy. and that let's them fully see what v's current state is, aka fully visible degradation.

mind you, they had known that v was in a bad state, and getting worse. and how can you not, after sharing a month of hell with someone where you both need each other?

anyway, they're like shit v, come here, all in an effort to heal or do something for him. but then they're hand touches his face, and he can't help but lean into it. and it all offically clicks into place for them, and they pull back, and he realizes they're connecting dots.

maybe they even say, you and him, you're in the same boat, huh? and v just knows who they mean.

(and maybe they don't have all the facts, but they do know that the man and demon are in the same situation, and are especially aware that v was the one who lead them all to the situation in the first place.)

and he can't help but freeze, trying to gauge their reaction, their choice.

but then they exhale, making a snap decision, because despite everything and the uncertainty of what he will do, they want him to live. so they pull him against them, letting their healing flow through him, giving him just a bit more time. the taste of spring, v can't help but think.

and they say, as they begin to pull away from him, just...do better than what brought you to here.

and he doesn't want to pull away from them, and their warmth, but does and breaths out a thank you

[kilgrvc]

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[storfulsten]

lol did I just lose 3 followers for mentioning a cool new song? ok

[luvsavos]

pain is temporary shara brainrot is eternal

[sqlmn]

Anyway I have made the very wonderful decision Right was born on Valentine's Day. So I had to draw him today. Thanks.

So, Angel, when she asks Right if they can get married and he says sure thing to her? She immediately beams and tells her dad watching in shock that she's gonna have a wife now. And Chris tries to correct her on the term and Right is just "you can't correct her because I will make The Best Wife" and Chris sighs and deflates. Cause Angel is like "you had a wife, daddy! Mr. Right said I'll be his wife! I wanna have a wife!" and how do you really argue that.

Later she learns the word husband and decides very firmly "he agreed to be my wife already so that's what he will be" and Right's like "exactly, Angel. I love you."

[fivefeetfangirl]

its 12am and i am soooo in the zone why does this always happen at the most unreasonable times???