#{ but the system is set up to make getting said thing done very very difficult despite the fact that I've repeatedly proven my quality of

[barmeciide]

{ Updated my rules, muse list, and pinned post! Honestly nothing super important! I’m not remotely fast with replies, but I’m here every so often! }

[dandylovesturtles]

I should be in bed lol but I wanted to write a turtle tot sick fic so here

I went into this with no plan and it ended up uh. way sadder than I intended. whoops.

cw: mentions of vomit

...

Blue slept through naptime. That should have been Splinter's first clue.

In the moment, he'd just been so happy to actually have four sleeping children that he'd taken the opportunity for his own nap, the old, tattered storybook he'd been reading them draped over his face. He never managed to get Blue to wind down enough to sleep, so he usually had to quietly entertain him with books or the tv on low until the others woke up. But his Baby Blue had conked out almost immediately today, and soon Splinter was snoozing right along with them.

Blue was also the last to wake up. That should have been the second clue.

Splinter was woken up by Orange, talking in loud, disjointed sentences with plenty of nonsense words as he played with an old plastic telephone Splinter had found them. Red was racing his toy cars, making his own sound effects as they skid across the floor and crashed into the wall. Only Purple was quiet, industriously sorting his legos by color and size.

Splinter sat up, letting the book slide off his face, and took stock. It was surprising to see Blue still curled up against his leg even in the midst of all the racket his brothers were making. "Blue?" he said softly, giving the little turtle a nudge. Blue blinked his eyes open, groggily looking around. "Naptime is over."

Blue pushed himself up into a sitting position, then rubbed clumsily at his eyes. He looked so tired still that Splinter debated telling him he could keep sleeping, even if it might make putting him to bed later more difficult.

But once Blue was up, he saw Red racing his cars and pushed quickly to his feet, hurrying over to join in the game. Almost immediately he was demanding Red hand over one of the cars and setting up an elaborate make-believe track for their race, so Splinter let it go.

Thirty minutes later, Blue tugged on Splinter's old sweatpants and said, "Daddy, my tummy hurts." In hindsight, this is exactly when Splinter should have put it together.

But the kids rarely got sick - a benefit of whatever Draxum had put in the gunk that turned them into this, Splinter assumed. Which was a blessing, because he was pretty limited in what medicine he could get in his condition. The boys having a hearty immune system was one of the few things Splinter had going for him.

So he hadn't moved to that conclusion. Instead he said, "Do you need to go potty?" and Blue had considered that very seriously for a few seconds before nodding and rushing off to the bathroom.

Orange threw the plastic phone into Purple's meticulously organized lego piles and Splinter moved on to the next crisis without another thought.

It was at dinner, when he caught Blue pushing his food (mac'n'cheese!) around without interest, that it finally clicked that maybe he should be worried.

"Blue, what's wrong?"

Blue didn't so much as look up. He shrugged, swirling his noodles around and around.

Splinter would be embarrassed to admit how long it took him to remember their earlier conversation, but it eventually came back to him. "Ah... Is your stomach still hurting?"

Blue's face scrunched up in misery, and he nodded.

Splinter groaned in exasperation. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did!"

"I mean after you went potty."

Blue grimaced. Instead of answering, he scooped up some mac'n'cheese and stuffed it in his mouth. He looked like he regretted it as soon as he'd done it.

"Do not spit that out," said Splinter immediately, because mac'n'cheese was one of the few things Purple would eat and if Blue spat it out in front of him it would go on his Bad Foods list for at least a month. And Orange had a habit of mimicking anything Blue did, which would only compound the problem.

Blue chewed and swallowed the mouthful agonizingly slowly. He looked so miserable afterward that Splinter felt bad about it.

"Are you going to throw up, Blue?" he asked, and got a furious head shake in response. "Are you just telling me that?" Another shake. "Do you want to keep eating?" A third shake. Splinter sighed and took his bowl from him. "Alright. I'll put this in the fridge, if you want it later."

Their mini-fridge was already stuffed full, but Splinter would simply have to make space, or throw all this mac'n'cheese out. He wished they had a bigger fridge, but just getting this back to the juncture in the sewers he called a home had been difficult enough.

He wished he had a bigger fridge. He wished he had a house. He wished he had a pediatrician to take Blue to. He wished he wasn't a rat man. He wished he and his kids were... normal.

It was a bad thought. He knew that as soon as he thought it, and he tried to push it down. The kids didn't need to know they weren't normal. That none of this was normal. He knew that, but...

"Throw up?" he heard Purple say, and then the telltale sound of him pushing his bowl away. Mac'n'cheese was on the Bad Foods list. Splinter groaned.

...

He found their old thermometer after the boys were finished eating. Getting a temperature from Blue was near impossible because he moved it around too much or spat it out before time was up, but Splinter would have to do his best.

After three tries, he got a reading that seemed accurate enough. Blue's body ran colder than a human child's, and it had taken observation and trial and error for Splinter to learn what constituted as a fever. As it was, Blue was only two degrees above his normal. So at least that wasn't too worrying.

He was still complaining that his stomach hurt, though. A stomach bug, then? Or just something he ate? Usually Red was the one who would put random things in his mouth unless Splinter kept a careful watch, but Blue and Orange were... adventurous eaters, too. It was possible.

They continued with their normal bedtime routine. Another thing Splinter had going for him was that his boys loved baths; getting them into their makeshift tub, even with lukewarm water, was always easy. From his research, Red, Blue, and Purple were all aquatic turtles, and Orange was not one to be left out of his brothers’ games no matter his biology.

Blue wasn't excited for bath time tonight, though. He sat quietly in the tub, making grumpy noises anytime he got splashed and playing only with his favorite blue shark toy, ignoring everything else. He definitely felt bad. Splinter was feeling increasingly terrible that he hadn't noticed.

He got them all toweled off and into their pajamas. Then into the pallet beds he had for them, all in one big shared alcove, a tattered curtain strung up for a semblance of privacy. They would need something more as they got older, but for now the boys seemed content to share space.

He tucked Red, Purple, and Orange in, then turned his attention to Blue. He had found an old bucket earlier that he (theoretically) used for mopping, and this he presented to Blue.

"If you are going to throw up, please do it in this," he told Blue. "We don't have any spare sheets."

"Not gonna," said Blue grumpily, pushing the bucket away.

"Ewww," whined Purple. "I don't want to share with Leo if he throws up."

"Not gonna!" Blue insisted, glaring at Purple, who glared back. Splinter sighed and pushed the bucket at Blue again.

"I am serious, Leonardo," he said, and that got Blue's attention. "If you throw up, do it in this bucket."

Instead of answering, Blue rolled over and scrunched himself up in a ball. That was the best Splinter was going to get, he supposed, so he just sighed and put the bucket next to Blue's bed.

"Good night, boys," he said as he got to his feet, ignoring the crackles from his back and knees.

"Good niiiight," came three echoes. Blue was giving him the silent treatment. Alright.

He went back to his own bed, sectioned off by an old divider screen he'd managed to find. Hopefully they could at least get through the night without disaster striking.

...

According to his beat up alarm clock, it was only two hours later when Red showed up by his bedside, shaking him awake urgently.

Splinter groaned his way into consciousness, blinking groggy eyes until his eldest son came into focus.

"Leo threw up," came Red's predictable report.

Splinter sighed, pushing his sheets aside and rising from his futon. "Did he make it in the bucket?"

Red's expression was not encouraging.

...

He had not made it in the bucket.

Blue sat stock still in the puddle of his own sick, eyes teary and expression a mix between stunned and embarrassed. Purple was pressed as close to the opposite wall as he could get, hands pressed tight over his nose and mouth. Orange was at Blue's side, patting his arm with his chubby little hand.

"Blue," Splinter snapped as soon as he saw the mess. "Why didn't you throw up in the bucket!?"

"Didn't think I was gonna," Blue croaked.

"Well, you did. All over your sheets." Splinter ran his hands over his tired eyes. "Now you have nothing for tonight. And who knows if I'll even be able to get the stain out. I may have to go all the way to the surface to get new ones, and do you know what a hassle that is!? The bucket was right here, Blue!"

"I'm sorry."

The miserable hiccup in Blue's voice effectively stopped Splinter's tirade, and he refocused on his son. Blue's tears had spilled over, streaking down his miserable face. He was shivering, hands clutching the fabric of his ruined sheets, wringing them tight. He looked terrified.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," he repeated. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Something inside Splinter cracked.

Leo was only four, by his best guess. He was a baby, still. A sick baby, and Splinter was yelling at him about... about bed sheets?

Blue didn't know that Splinter would have to steal him new sheets. He didn't know that Splinter feared every time he did something so risky, that it might expose their tiny family to hostile forces - the human authorities, Big Mama's goons, Draxum's gargoyles. He didn't know that Splinter should be taking him to a doctor right now. He didn't know that sleeping on a pallet bed in the sewers wasn't normal.

He just knew that he had thrown up, and his dad was mad about it.

Immediately, Splinter stooped and scooped the still-apologizing Blue into his arms. He was getting bigger all the time, and, somehow, Splinter was getting smaller, but he could still hold his boys in his arms, still cradle them against his chest.

"Blue... Leo, listen to me."

"I'm sorry," Blue mumbled again, followed by a sad, wet hiccup.

"Shh, shh, no, my son, please listen." He waited until teary eyes were turned on him to continue. "You don't need to apologize. You did nothing wrong."

"Missed the bucket," said Blue, and Splinter shook his head.

"That's alright. You're sick. It is my job to take care of these things." He scratched at the back of Blue's shell with the arm holding him, something he knew always calmed Blue down. Sure enough, he felt his boy begin to relax. "Do not worry about the sheets. If Daddy needs to get more, he will. For now we will all share."

Blue sniffed, and buried his face in Splinter's chest. That was a good sign. Splinter kept up the scraching.

"I'm sorry I yelled. You aren't in trouble, Blue. You're alright."

Blue sniffled again. Hiccupped one last time. His tears were drying up, and his little voice said, "S'okay, Daddy."

"Oh, my Baby Blue... Thank you."

He still felt terrible as he lowered Leo back to his bed and started to strip away the soiled sheets, but Leo had calmed down considerably. He kept the bucket close, though, even as he laid back down again on his pillow.

"Leo can have my blanket," said Red, already pulling the old thing over. Splinter smiled gratefully at him.

"Thank you, Red. Blue, do you think you will throw up again?"

Blue shrugged. "Dunno."

"That's alright. It's okay if you do." Splinter smoothed the blanket over Blue, not tucking him in so he could move if he needed to. "I'll get this sheet washed out and be back, alright?"

Blue nodded. He was still gripping the bucket with one hand. Splinter rubbed his head, then stood up with his bundle of soiled sheets.

When he returned, with water for Blue, he'd thrown up again - in the bucket, this time. Orange was still by him, rubbing his arm, while Red sat behind him, supporting his back. Even Purple had come close, awkwardly patting at Blue's leg while pointedly avoiding looking at the bucket.

"Thank you for taking such good care of Blue," he told them, getting three beaming smiles in return.

They were all going to have the bug by tomorrow. Splinter would need to find more buckets.

[alientee]

Christmas Cookies 🎄

This is a 18+ minors don’t interact and have your age in your bio. NOTHING BUT PURE SMUT. (Oral.M Receiving, spanking, spitting, cum everywhere) 2000 something words. AFAB reader

Sometimes you wonder why you chose this life. Your parents were gone, leaving behind you and two siblings. Not like they had a choice; they died in the omnic crisis. So you had to make a decision: die with your brothers going into the system, or live and protect them. So you made yourself useful until somebody picked you up.

Being a healer in Talon wasn’t so bad. You weren’t cut out for violence or war, and you were terribly shy. But you had to do what you needed to take care of your siblings. Plus, Doomfist and Moria were impressed with your progress in healing the troops, so you were moving up with the pay grade. You stayed in the background, stayed out of the way, and kept everyone alive, so your job was easy.

Well, your job would be easy if a certain tank didn’t take a liking to you. According to him, he had a soft spot for medics, especially sweet ones like you.Ever since you joined, Mauga has done everything in his power to get you to open up to him. Always asked Doom to bring you out in the field with him. He trusted you to keep him alive for some reason. He’d flirt with you, pick you up, drag you off with him, and even bring you dinner when you patched him up.

Sometimes you felt like he’d get hurt on purpose just to see you. He’s so huge that bullets don't affect him, so seeing him hurt made you a little skeptical. But with all the time and effort he put into you, sometimes they really would send you out on the field with him. He made you stay well hidden, or he carried you on his shoulder. Late missions had become late nights with you patching him up, listening to his crazy ideas, and telling you about his home.

You both had gotten close, but you think your shyness to speak up let it get out of hand. After a while, you grew to have feelings for him, and Mauga could tell; he was even a little smug about it. Mauga was touchy—really touchy—and overprotective; you didn’t realize what you got yourself into. To the point where other Talon soldiers would avoid you because, apparently, it was an unspoken rule that you were off limits.

And you were fine with that because people left you to your own devices. The problem was that you weren’t used to his overly sultry nature. Even after the large man had taken your virginity, (another story for another time.) You both went from being friends to him claiming you and doing whatever he pleased (with consent, of course). He never said if you both were a couple, so you didn’t want to put too much of your feelings into it.

But he made it very difficult, always being very kind to you or following you around. You decided it was best to avoid him until your feelings calmed down. You didn’t want to get so invested in him only for him not to feel the same. Your heart couldn’t take that kind of pain in your life again. So you did your best, and it paid off; you avoided him for a week. But Mauga got sick and tired of that real soon.

So here you were trying to avoid him on Christmas, thinking he wouldn’t be at work. You spent the day with your brothers so you could come in tonight. You were in the kitchen baking deserts for the team. You didn’t mind; you loved baking, plus you got paid extra for coming in today. You even put on a cute Santa dress and thigh-high socks. You already made a cake, gingerbread, pies, and even fruit muffins. The last thing left was the second batch of sugar cookies. You placed them in the oven and set a timer.

While you opened the oven, ready to put them in. You felt something hard press against your ass. The next thing you know, you’re lifted into the air. “EEK!"

You try to grab onto something, but you are set on the counter. And loa and behold, Mauga is standing right in front of you while in between your legs, smirking at you.

"M-Mauga, what the heck! I was baking.” He ignores you and starts to rub your cheek with his thumb.

“You make something for me, sugar?”

“U-um……. You can have a muffin if you want.”

He chuckles, "Nah, I think I want something else. I think you owe me a pie, sweetheart."

You quickly move to hand him a pie. "Here, take one!”

He looks at the pie, then back to you. He takes it out of your hand and sets it back down. He pushes you on your back against the cold counter. “Your funny; how bout a cream pie?"

“I can make you o-mmmh." Mauga cuts you off by shoving his tongue down your throat. He pushes your body down on the counter. He grabs at your thighs, squeezing them.

“Pretty thigh highs,” he says, running his finger along the socks. “It’s like you made yourself into a present for me.”

He starts to bite and nibble on your neck while putting his hand up your dress. His tongue licks up the side of your neck until he nibbles on your ear, and you shiver. You hated to admit it, but you missed his touch. His hands grip your ass, holding your lower half up. He scoffs and starts to rub at your covered folds.

“Lace panties, huh... I'm starting to think you really did dress up for me.”

You try to look away; it was an embarrassing position for you. And even if you told him you didn’t do it for him, he wouldn’t believe you anyway. He grips your chin,forcing you to look at him. “You miss me? Cuz it seems like you’ve been avoiding me lately.” You push him back a little.

"Mauga, you know I have siblings to take care of. I've been busy."

He looks down at you, frowning. He’s a firm believer that if there are 24 hours in a day, some of them better be for him. He slams you back on the counter, kissing your forehead. “If you’re going to make excuses, I won’t go easy on you.”

He moves back to push up your dress, rips your panties off, and leans down. “Spread those fucking legs; show me that pussy.”

You spread your legs, and he spat on your pussy, making you gasp. He slides his tongue over your cunt and starts to finger you slowly. "Mauga, we can't; we’re in the kitchen.”

Mauga hums in agreement, his tongue diving deep into your wet folds. He licks and flicks your sensitive spots, making you squirm with pleasure. Before you could grab his hair, he moved away, making you whine. Mauga chuckles and pulls you closer, his hard cock rubbing against your ass. “Thought we couldn’t do it in the kitchen?" He grabs a handful of your ass cheek and squeezes it roughly, causing a pleasurable pain to shoot through your body.

“Wanna watch your ass jiggle while I fuck you.” He throws you over, putting you on your stomach. "M-Mauga, wait, maybe we should wait till I’m done cooking.”

He paused for a moment, looking down at you. “You may not think I know what’s going on in that head of yours, but you’ve been acting insecure and putting up walls, then you started avoiding me, so im gonna show ya you can’t leave me your mine and I’m yours got it.”

You start to tremble and turn around to look at him. “I’m…. I’m yours?” He doesn’t answer; he’s still holding your body up. You realize all you can do is hold on and take what he gives you. Mauga teases you for a moment, rubbing his tip at your entrance. He starts to slowly push his cock inside you, filling you up with each inch. He slowly thrusts in and out, causing you to moan in pleasure. On instinct, you arch your back for him. “That's it, baby. That’s my good girl."

He reaches around, grasping your breast and squeezing it hard as he continues to fuck you. Mauga growls while his cock is pounding against your wet pussy. He grinds his hips forward, pushing deeper into you. You feel him playing with your nipples, pulling them roughly, and you cry out in pleasure. He pulls back slightly, then slams his hips forward again, burying himself to the hilt inside you. You scream his name as he starts to fuck you harder and faster.

Mauga smacks your ass, rubbing the cheek softly to ease the sting. "I think you deserve a punishment for dodging me; how bout I spank that cute ass, hm? Redden you up a bit.”

“Maug-ga! I’m close! Please!”

He smacks your ass harder this time. Pushing your body into the counter as his hips smack your thighs. Your body is being pushed back and forth in the air while all you can do is weakly grab at the counter. Your eyes roll in the back of your head, getting thrown around like a rag doll while Mauga bottomed out in you was bliss. You couldn’t help but moan out his name like a mantra, losing your breath with every thrust. He grips your hips, fucking you faster as he feels his balls tighten. “Want me to cum in this pussy or on that pretty face?"

“D-d….dont know Ahhhhh~”

You can barely answer him when he’s plunging his cock into you nonstop. His cock slick with your juices, making nasty squelching noises. He fucked you deeper while he whispered the dirtiest thoughts in your ear. His cock is stretching you past your limits. You make a weak attempt to crawl away, pulling yourself onto the counter.

Mauga grabs your hips, slamming you back on his cock. “Don’t you fucking run from me; take this dick.”

Mauga groans and thrusts a few more times. One more powerful stroke is all it took. Mauga started filling your pussy with his hot seed. He thrusts deep, feeling his cock twitch as he unleashes his load inside you. You can feel his cum seeping into your walls, filling you up with his essence. He keeps fucking into you while you cum on his cock, covering him in your juices.

You sigh and start to relax on the counter, catching your breath.

"You're not done, sweetheart."

You start to protest when he picks you up and puts you on the floor. He grabs you by the back of your hair, pushing his cock to your lips.

“Open wide, baby."

You open your mouth, and Mauga shoves his fat cock down your throat. You gag, tears coming to your eyes as you steady yourself, putting your hands on his thighs. Mauga growls, pushing his hips forward, his cock forcing its way into your mouth. "Fuck yes." He groans, his hands gripping your hair tightly as he thrusts in and out of your mouth. His cock is hitting the back of your throat.

You swallow his dick down to the base and begin to play with his heavy balls. Your sloppy noises echo through the kitchen.

Mauga's hips jerk violently as he feels your warm, wet mouth on his cock, his hands gripping your head tighter. "Fuck yeah, suck it, baby." He groans, his hips pounding into your mouth as he fucks your face with long, hard strokes.

Mauga's moans turn into grunts as his hips start bucking wildly as he loses control. "Mmmmh shit! Almost there..." He grips your head tightly, his cock jerking erratically in your mouth as he approaches his climax.

Mauga's entire body tenses up as he feels his climax come again, his hot cum filling your mouth and his hips jerking violently. "Fuuuuuck!" he moans lewdly, his cock pulsing with each spurt of cum, filling your mouth to the brim.

He pulls out of your mouth, spraying the rest of his cum on your face, his cock still hard and throbbing, cum dripping from the tip onto your tits. "Swallow it all, sweetie." He commands, his voice rough with authority.

You swallow all of his cum, sticking your tongue out to show him you finished.

Mauga chuckles, thinking you look gorgeous with your face covered in his cum. “Frosted like your cookies."

Just then, your timer dings.

“Cookies done, babe, go on and take ‘em out. You can frost 'em after I’m finished fucking you again."

[writeforfandoms]

Warrior Song 14

Find the series masterlist

Here we finally are! The second to last chapter! I promise this has a happy ending and everything will be fine, because I'm a sucker for those.

Warnings: Mention of injury, medical inaccuracies, swearing, Medic is so very done, playing fast and loose with canon.

Word count: 2.4k

The first thing that registered was the pain. Your thigh throbbed in time with your too-fast heart. Your arms and chest pulsed with softer pain, like bruises in the making, or compression. From your knees down prickled with uncomfortable heat. 

You blinked, spots slowly receding from your vision, and finally looked up into an all too familiar gold visor. 

“John?” you mumbled, confused, blinking slowly up at him. Your head felt a little fuzzy. 

“Can you hear me?” He didn’t move, voice intense but low. 

“Mmhm.” You blinked again, suddenly aware of one big hand cradling the back of your head. 

“We need to move,” John said, tipping his head down a little. 

“Okay.” You breathed in as deeply as you could. You… weren’t dead. That was something of a surprise.

You’d fully expected that grenade to kill you.

John moved, lifting you and getting to his feet, your head still safely cradled against his palm. You hissed, pain flaring unexpectedly, but John didn’t stop. Just kept you held against him as he moved. 

There were a lot fewer Endless in the room than you remembered, although you couldn’t be sure how many were dead and how many had fled. Over John’s shoulder, you could see Linda taking up position behind the two of you, though everything else was a little fuzzy. The world felt a little disconnected. You could feel your body (unfortunately), you could feel all the aches and such. But it all seemed… distant. 

The Spartans were quiet as they moved, John’s helmet tipping towards you every so often, though he didn’t say anything. You blinked, tempted to look around. But trying to move your head made John huff softly at you, his grip on you still gentle but implacable. 

Clearly, you just needed to hold still. That wasn’t difficult. 

Gunshots up ahead made you jolt, and then hiss in pain as everything flared. Oh, ouch. The world was not far away, and you never wanted to move again. That hurt. 

“Don’t move,” John grunted, not even looking at you as he picked up the pace. 

“I won’t,” you grumbled, even as the pain settled a bit again. Definitely not gone, but manageable. “What’s going on?” 

But John didn’t answer, adjusting his grip on you as he moved. 

Right. He was busy. Don’t ask the guy questions when he’s busy saving your life. 

The structure lurched. You yelped, startled and once again in pain as John momentarily lost his footing, landing on one knee. 

“That’s new,” came Linda’s droll voice from behind you and John, even as John got back to his feet. 

“I think we might have moved,” Joy said through John’s helmet. “I’d need to get into the system to be sure, though.” 

“Later.” John didn’t even pause. He was determined to get out as fast as possible, apparently. 

A moment later, you understood why as light filtered into the tunnel. And then you were out, momentarily blinded by the intensity of the light. You’d hardly been in the dark inside the Halo, but this was much brighter.

Actually… this seemed brighter than you remembered. You blinked rapidly, almost idly wondering if you were losing your mind. 

But the light was definitely different. You ignored John’s warning to hold still to tip your head back, looking up. 

The nearest star seemed… closer. Maybe. 

And then the view was gone, replaced by the inside of the Pelican. John had carried you straight in and you hadn’t even noticed. You blinked again, eyes adjusting even as John set you in one of the seats and strapped you in, motions swift and confident. 

“Chief,” Fernando called back. “What the hell is going on?” 

“Joy.” John didn’t have to raise his voice. 

“Oh,” Joy murmured. You could just see the blue of her form flickering over by the controls of the Pelican. “We’re definitely closer to that star, but we’re not moving anymore.” 

“Small favors,” Fred muttered as he dropped to one knee in front of you. You blinked slowly at him. 

“We’re holding steady again now,” Joy confirmed. “I don’t think this is what Atriox meant to do.”

John shook his head once, basically dismissing the thought. “He didn’t get to finish,” he said, visor focused on you. “We need to get back to the Mortal Reverie.” 

“On it.” Fernando started the Pelican up, the ramp closing behind the lot of you. Kelly and Linda had settled in seats across the bay from you, and you blinked at them too. 

When the Pelican started moving, two pairs of hands helped brace you: John and Fred. You huffed at them.

“Not broken,” you grumbled half-heartedly. Yeah, ouch, your injuries were making themselves known again. That was not fun. But you weren’t dying. 

A shocked call of your name made your grimace. “When did you–? How–?” Fernando didn’t twist to look at you, but you could just see him look back over his shoulder once. 

“Long story,” you rasped. Now that the excitement was all over, your throat was dry, you hurt, and you wanted rather desperately to hide somewhere for a while. You were not a combatant, you were not used to this. 

John rubbed his thumb soothingly over your knee, visor still fixed on you. You grimaced when the Pelican swayed more than you liked, head pounding now too. 

Probably dehydration. You hoped it was just dehydration. You’d been gone a long time, after all. Hours, at the least. 

Hours, stuck inside the Halo, with no idea what was going on or how to stop Atriox.

You shied away from the thought, swallowing hard. Too soon. You were not touching that yet. 

“Almost there,” John murmured, soft and probably as close to reassuring as he got in the armor. 

The rest of the ride was silent, the landing a little bumpy. You winced but didn’t make a sound. 

Not that you had a chance to, anyway. No sooner had the Pelican touched down than John was unbuckling you from the seat and picking you up again, as easily as if you were a kitten. 

Fernando scrambled after him, Blue Team falling in around Fernando. You caught glimpses of others milling around, all of them brightening when they spotted Chief. He really was the best beacon of hope most of these people could ask for.

You swallowed again, feeling guilty and not sure why. 

John didn’t stop until he could set you down carefully in medical. When you looked down, you could still see the edges of the bloodstain on the floor. Someone had cleaned it up… mostly. 

“Boss!” Lindsay nearly skidded to a halt in front of you, hands out, eyes wide as she looked you over. “Shit, what happened?”

“Is Carter okay?” you croaked, really feeling the lack of water now. The bloodstain had reminded you. You didn’t know who made it.

“He’s fine.” Lindsay’s expression shuttered. “But the boss, not you the other one, was killed.”

You nodded slowly. That meant you were back in charge. Again. “I need pain tea,” you told her honestly. “Maybe burn gel, if we still have any.”

Lindsay nodded once and darted off again. You grimaced as you balanced against the makeshift exam table, leaning over to try to wrestle your boots off. 

John was there a moment later, kneeling in front of you and gently brushing your hands away to do it himself. You braced one hand on his shoulder, armor firm as a rock under you. 

“Not bad,” you muttered, more to yourself than him, looking at the newly-exposed skin. No visible burns, which probably meant that you hadn’t really gotten burned. Somehow. Probably because John had jumped on you before the grenade exploded. 

Lindsay returned with the tea, eyes still a bit wide, giving you multiple looks over. You downed the tea as fast as possible, grimacing at the taste. 

“Check for a concussion,” you told her, sitting down with a grimace. “And my ribs, just in case, although I would’ve noticed anything cracked by now.” 

Lindsay glanced at John, who had moved silently to hulk in the doorway, hands at his sides, but also very clearly not leaving.

“He’s fine,” you dismissed with a little smile. “He can stay.” 

You had a feeling even if you wanted him gone (which you didn’t), you’d have a hell of a time shouting him out. He didn’t seem to want to be far from you at all. 

Although, considering you’d almost blown yourself up when you’d blown up Atriox… you didn’t blame him. 

Lindsay confirmed no cracked ribs, no concussion, just dehydration and bruising. Frankly, you were a little shocked you’d gotten off so well.

Although, maybe “well” wasn’t the word for it. 

The CO marched into medbay, looking between you and Master Chief. “What happened?” 

“We found the Endless,” Chief reported, voice perfectly even. The room got more crowded as Blue Team stood in the hallway, Fernando pushing up ahead of them to follow the CO into the exam room. Lindsay pressed herself back into a corner, eyes huge. “Atriox has been neutralized, but we did not learn his plan.” 

Tense silence filled the room for a moment before the CO nodded, just once. “The rest of the Endless?”

“The ones that were not neutralized fled.” 

The CO nodded again, his gaze turning to you. “And you? What happened?” 

You swallowed. Hoo boy. Time to tell your side of the tale. 

You got as far as being dropped in front of Atriox when you noticed your hands were shaking. You clenched your fingers around each other, focusing your gaze on John. Just John. If you focused hard enough on him, you’d make it through.

His hands were clenched into fists, too. 

By the time you’d recounted everything, exhaustion weighed heavily on you. Nothing sounded better than curling up somewhere dark and safe to sleep for a year. 

“You… blew him up.” The CO repeated the words slowly, expression caught between astounded and bemused. 

“Rolled a grenade under him.” You shrugged and then grimaced. Ouch. Right. Strained muscles. Probably time for more pain tea. 

The CO made a helpless little noise, like he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not. You didn’t pay him any more attention, shifting your weight carefully before looking at Lindsay. 

“More tea?” she guessed, because she was the absolute best.

“Yeah,” you agreed on a little sigh. It was hard to drum up any kind of emotions now. You were drained. 

“And sleep,” she insisted, even as she edged carefully around the CO. 

You nodded, looking back at John. He hadn’t relaxed at all yet. He needed to get out of that armor and get some sleep too. 

“Well,” the CO finally sighed, “there’s nothing more to be done now. Any idea why the Halo moved?”

“From what I can tell, it looks like Atriox was trying to move the Halo, but he never finished putting in coordinates,” Joy said, appearing above Chief’s hand. “The Halo tried to compensate but we didn’t move far.” 

The CO nodded, brow furrowed as he considered. “Are we still moving?”

“No, sir.” Joy tucked her hands behind her back. 

“Then I guess there’s nothing to be done for now.” He sighed, shoulders slumping a little, before he looked at you. “Get some rest.” 

You nodded wordlessly - you would whether he’d told you to or not, and pretty soon it wouldn’t be a choice you made. You’d just knock out. 

The CO left, and Lindsay scurried back in with more tea. Once you’d grimaced your way through drinking that, she started to shoo you out… only to go silent when John picked you up again. 

“I’d tell you to keep off your leg, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Lindsay joked, even as John ducked out of the room.

“I’ll see you soon,” you told Lindsay in lieu of answering her teasing. It was so, so tempting to just put your head down against the armor and go to sleep. Except that would not be comfortable. Or helpful. So you resisted the urge.

You were a bit surprised Blue Team and Fernando didn’t follow you and John back to your room, but you didn’t question it. Not worth asking, not when you were about two minutes away from falling into bed. 

“You staying?” you asked John quietly as he set you down. 

“Yes.” He removed his helmet first, looking you over quickly with his own eyes. Then he turned away to take off the rest of the armor, methodical but not slow. 

You just threw your soiled clothes somewhere. That was now a later problem. Dressed in shorts and an undershirt (miraculously clean), you crawled into bed. The aches had finally faded almost entirely, and you wanted nothing more than quiet and sleep. 

John slipped into bed with you silently, warm and firm. One arm tugged you closer to him, until his head was tucked behind yours. 

“Alright there?” you asked, words already starting to slur with sleep. 

“Just fine,” he murmured. “Sleep. I’m not moving.” 

You huffed a tiny laugh at the stubborn man but your eyes closed. You were asleep in seconds. 

You probably could have slept for a week, after the last couple days.

Instead, sirens woke both you and John. He was instantly awake, already moving, swinging his legs out of bed and lunging for his armor.

You flailed out of bed with a thump and a curse. 

“Wait here,” John told you, voice once again modified just enough to tell you he had the armor on. By the time you pushed up to your feet, he was gone, door open behind him. 

Stay here, your ass.

You hobbled out after him (your thigh really fucking hurt again), jaw clenched, heart pumping hard. If the Endless were back already you were going to pick up a gun and start shooting because this was getting ridiculous and you wanted more sleep, dammit. 

You only needed to go outside to figure out what was going on, fortunately, as a group of people were standing around looking up.

You looked up too.

Ships hung over the Halo. Intact ships. Undamaged ships.

Sangheili ships.

[unicornjoking1111]

Success story from Neville Goddard's book (The Law and the promise) (chapter: there is no fiction)

*this is not my work but a copy paste from Neville's book*

Spoiler alert!!! *this story is really amazing! its about a 19 year old dancing teacher who didn't believe in imagination but took up the challenge to owning a studio (Arthur Murray dance studio franchise) to making it much bigger and meeting Arthur Murray himself*

As my story begins at the age of nineteen I was a mildly successful dancing teacher and continued in this static state for almost five years. At the end of this time I met a young lady who talked me into attending your lectures. My thought, upon hearing you say ‘Imagining creates reality’, was that the entire idea was ridiculous. However, I decided to accept your challenge and disprove your thesis. I bought your book ‘Out of This World’ and read it many times. Still unconvinced, I set myself a rather ambitious goal. My present position was as an instructor with the Arthur Murray Dance Studio and my goal was to own a franchise and be boss of an Arthur Murray studio myself! “This seemed the most unlikely thing in the world as franchises were extremely difficult to secure, but on top of this fact, I was completely without the necessary funds to begin such an operation. Nevertheless. I assumed the feeling of my wish fulfilled as night after night, in my imagination, I went to sleep managing my own studio. Three weeks later a friend called me from Reno, Nevada. He had the Murray Studio there and said it was too much for him to cope with alone. He offered me a partnership and I was delighted; so delighted, in fact, that I hastened to Reno on borrowed money and promptly forgot all about you and your story of Imagination!

“My partner and I worked hard and were very successful, but after a year I was still not satisfied, I wanted more. I began thinking of ways and means to get another studio. All my efforts failed. One night as I retired, I was restless and decided to read. As I looked through my collection of books I noticed your slender volume, ‘Out of This World’. I thought of the ‘silly nonsense’ I had gone through one year ago before getting my own studio. GETTING MY OWN STUDIO! The words in my mind electrified me! I reread the book that night and later, in my imagination, I heard my superior praise the good job we had done in Reno and suggest we acquire a second studio as he had a second location ready for us if we desired to expand. I re-enacted this imaginal scene nightly without fail. Three weeks from the first night of my imaginal drama, it materialized — almost word for word. My partner accepted the new studio in Bakersfield and I had the Reno Studio alone. Now I was convinced of the truth of your teaching and never again will I forget. “Now I wanted to share this wonderful knowledge — of imaginal power with my staff. I tried to tell them of the marvels they could accomplish, but I was unable to reach many although one fantastic incident resulted from my efforts to tell this story. A young teacher told me he believed my story but said it would have probably happened anyway in time. He insisted the entire theory was nonsense but stated that if I could tell him something of an incredible nature that would actually happen and which he could witness — then he would believe. I accepted his challenge and conceived a truly fantastic test. “The Reno Studio is the most insignificant in the entire Murray system because of the small population count in the city itself. There are over three hundred Murray Studios in the country with much larger populations, therefore providing greater possibilities to draw from. So, my test was this. I told the teacher that within the next three months, at the time of a national dance convention, the little Reno Studio would be the foremost topic of conversation at that convention. He calmly stated this was quite impossible. “That night when I retired, I felt myself standing before a tremendous audience. I was speaking on ‘Creative Imagining’ and felt the nervousness of being before such a vast audience; but I also felt the wonderful sensation of audience acceptance. I heard the roar of applause and as I left the stage, I saw Mr. Murray, himself come forward and shake my hand. I re-enacted this entire drama night after night. It began to take on the ‘tones of reality’ and I knew I had done it again! “My imaginal drama materialized down to the last detail. “My little Reno Studio was the ‘talk’ of the convention and I did appear on that stage just as I had done in my imagination. But even after this unbelievable but actual happening, the young teacher who threw me the challenge remained unconvinced. He said it had all happened too naturally! And he was sure it would have happened anyway!

“I did not mind his attitude because his challenge had given me another opportunity to prove, at least to myself, that Imagining does Create Reality. From that time on, I continued with my ambition to own the ‘largest Arthur Murray Dance Studio in the world’! Night after night, in my imagination, I heard myself accepting a studio franchise for a great city. Within three weeks Mr. Murray called me and offered a studio in a city of one and a half million people! It is now my goal to make my studio the greatest and biggest in the entire system. And, of course, ‘I know it will be done — through my Imagination’!” …E.O.L., Jr.

[ming-sik]

My dear good comrade in the trenches against AoB's nonsense: I'm having Ferdinand thoughts (derogatory, mostly) and stewing. You said you thought Ferdinand's boring, if you would be up for it we could complain to hell and back about him T_T (aka, I remembered someone saying “Lestilaut's bad and he doesn't even have [Ferdinand's] trauma excuse!” as if... trauma... is an excuse for... anything... also did we forget the system was inherently abusive and traumatizing orrrrrrr)

i'm always up to complain about ferdinand. i swear i tried to like aob's golden boy but he just... is bad.

like ok my main problem with him is honestly just that by being the most perfectest bestest coolest guy ever he makes the story so fuuuuuuucking boring. there are so many potential conflicts especially from part 4 onward that just get completely ironed over with "ferdinand took care of it offscreen" or "literally as soon as the problem was introduced ferdinand already had the solution", half of the remaining conflicts are just getting ferdinand to stop being an asshole long enough to easily solve the conflict, and half of the conflicts left over after that are how to stop ferdinand from being so incredibly selfless that he burns himself out solving all the story's problems before they can go anywhere interesting. it'd be one thing if he existed in a story that wasn't trying to be serious or if he was used very sparingly as a hermit whose help was difficult to acquire or came at a high price, but as it is i can't even bring myself to get that invested in new conflicts because aob's world has been mostly converted into a playground for rozemyne and ferdinand to flex their enormous brainpower over because obviously the only thing more interesting than one ridiculously overpowered protagonist whose only flaw is being too self-sacrificing is two of the damn things.

to which the counterargument is obviously "noooooo ferdinand isn't a perfect angel, he's deeply flawed!" and yeah he is, but not in a way the narrative is at all interested in doing anything but glorifying. i love it when characters are deeply flawed unpleasant assholes, but only if 1) that's taken in an interesting direction and 2) the story doesn't lie to my face and pretend everyone loves them. YS's society is systematically and inherently abusive, which means that every noble we meet is dealing with an intense web of motivations and pressures that mean being a "good" person in yurgenschmidt's nobility is basically impossible, but ideally that's a way to set up interesting tragic characters, not a reason i'm supposed to excuse ferdinand(and only ferdinand) from judgment for perpetuating that abuse and call for the execution of anyone who thinks he's an asshole.

and the counterargument to that is "oh it's not the narrative that thinks ferdinand is perfect, it's rozemyne!" but that's objectively wrong. the entire plot point of ferdinand's marriage to detlinde is when the story just spends basically an entire volume repeatedly telling the audience that ferdinand is actually the only reason anything gets done in ehrenfest ever and he's the most wonderfulest person ever and everyone is overcome with grief that their savior is gone. even sylvester's habit of pushing off work seems to exist basically entirely so we can have the literal archduke be hugely reliant on ferdinand for day-to-day work just so he can get a little extra credit.

that's not to say that he and rozemyne aren't massively codependent. they are. and again i understand that ferdinand doesn't intentionally put rozemyne in a position where he's literally the only person she can fully trust and she's both completely reliant on him for guidance and terrified of losing him, he does do that. he claims he wants her to rely on wilfried but outside of trying to train him to be more competent(unsuccessfully) he doesn't actually do anything to achieve that, and he never thinks of the perhaps more sustainable option of trying to get her an actual support network. a lot of the tragedy of her losing her life in the lower city is that originally she had a wide group of people to trust: she had her family for comfort, benno for guidance, and lutz as a peer who also knew the full story of her reincarnation. afterwards, she only has ferdinand, and the paranoia he teaches her prevents her from trying to find anyone else, to the point that she only realizes that elvira knows about her commoner origins when he's leaving! and. again. i get so hard that this is an understandable result of ferdinand's trauma making him extremely insular, it's in character, but it's also really, really something that i want the story to, at some point, actually interrogate, but it doesn't! even when ferdinand is totally for real ripped away during the marriage plotline, he actually isn't because they stay in contact the entire time and then she has an excuse to come rescue him and post-battle he's literally just back on the team and it's like he never left so that ended up having the same emotional impact as if he just moved to the next town over. so he never really "leaves", and rozemyne never has to actually get used to life without ferdinand, which would've been really interesting and a way to actually deliver on the ticking time bomb that is grooming subplots.

which he is! and to be clear, he's a groomer in the general sense, not even specifically the pedophilic sense(although yknow. he is explicitly pro-child marriage), i mean that he grooms her to accept that the way yurgenschmidt's society works is normal and fine. he's not solely responsible for the inherent abuse of feudalism, but he's a product of the system he lives in and a product that's not particularly interested in changing that system, so he views myne primarily as an aberration who needs to be incorporated into yurgenschmidt's nobility and made to understand that things work the way they do because this is the best system. i think people rail against ferdinand being called a groomer for two main reasons-- firstly people think that if you say a character is immoral you're saying that they're a bad person for liking them or finding them interesting, and secondly people not understanding that grooming isn't as simple as mustache-twirling villain evilly and intentionally completely controlling a helpless child. bc yeah rozemyne struggles against ferdinand's attempts to fit her into noble society and at multiple points does the opposite of what he tells her to, but that doesn't disprove my argument! it's actually repeatedly acknowledged(well, joked about) where characters including rozemyne and ferdinand themselves say that ferdinand has made her more and more similar to him. like basically the first thing that happens when he gets her into noble society is him convincing her to start participating in the buying and selling of orphans and speaking of orphans do not get me started on the temple it drives me so insane how her turning it into a company town where they serve as her unpaid labor is presented as her being a saint. that can't totally be blamed on ferdinand but he sure does talk her into accepting that the only way she can interact with lower status people is through the lens of a benevolent master. one of the main facets of their relationship is him making her worse.

which is interesting! conceptually! ferdinand is entirely a product of the cycle of abuse and his reaction to his trauma is to preserve that cycle even as it continues to harm him and everyone around him because it's just the way things are. on that topic, he's completely bought into yurgenschmidt's view of children where 5-year-olds are expected to be capable of fending off psychological warfare and 15-year-olds are expected to be fully mature adults, so he has a vitriolic, burning hatred for wilfried age 6 and later detlinde age 15 despite both of their biggest crimes being not magically overcoming the fact that they're being neglected and abused, because he did, which means it is possible and therefore required. even his favorite oops all negative reinforcement education is irl infamous for being literally the worst possible way to educate children because it doesn't work very well and also traumatizes them, something which rozemyne herself seems to understand when she tries to keep ferdinand from being so harsh on letizia but never ends up interrogating because she can keep up with it. just kind of because? the implication is that she has a big headstart from her being an adult university student in japan but we actually don't see him do much instructing outside of giving his pupils a bunch of stuff to memorize and then getting really mad if they don't do it fast enough, which is... not the most effective strategy, wouldn't help with her memorizing new information, and also requires her to show a level of attentiveness and reading comprehension she never actually shows when she's onscreen doing stuff because when she's onscreen she lacks basic reading comprehension and stops paying attention to literally anything she's not interested in, but all of that's just ignored because the whole reason ferdinand cares about rozemyne is that she's the only one who understands that he's just trying to do the right thing and she's the only one who can keep up with him in this world of idiot sheeple. and i don't like that either i think it's pretty boring.

the specific combination of his plot purpose mainly being to instantly solve problems and his actual character just kind of being an insufferable asshole who won't shut up about how awesome child abuse is means that unfortunately every time the male lead of the series is onscreen i'm booing and throwing tomatoes at the page because he isn't interesting enough to pull off being morally grey or fun enough to pull off being a terrible little freak. and i really do not feel sorry for him because everyone in the story is experience similar levels of abuse but mysteriously the story can recognize that it's bad when literally anyone else treats any character the way ferdinand treats everyone all the time.

the lestilaut comparison is so specifically dumb oh my god. like yeah he has the trauma excuse.... everyone does... if we take dunkelfelger seriously lestilaut was raised in an environment where his worth was entirely placed on how physically strong he is and the only solution to any problem is physical force, so that's the only way he can think of to solve problems. his main character flaws are being kind of a jerk in a way that's very normal for a teenager! like his character introduction is revealed to be him misinterpreting hannelore's desire to hang out with the cute shumils as a need to have them at any cost which combines with the existing prejudices he's been taught(yknow the excuse that works for ferdinand and nobody else) to mean that he executes a stupid plan, and then even the bride-stealing ditter plot which is... not his finest moment, definitely, but is him trying to save rozemyne from what he thinks is severe abuse. which isn't an excuse for his actions, like i said with sylvester you kind of lose the right to appeal to good intentions if your mistakes have a body count, but you could make the exact same criticism of ferdinand. i mean his "i'll get ahrensbach for you" bit is basically just the shumils thing but it's treated as romantic instead of "what the hell are you doing"

tbh in the AU i'm working on i just toss him out the window entirely but if he IS going to stick around he neeeeeeeeds to have his untouchability be dialed way the fuck down. he can't just solve literally every story problem with "and then ferdinand pulled the solution out of his ass" and there need to be things that he is actively bad at which other characters are good at. also other characters NEED to be able to criticize him for things other than being too self-sacrificing or limply saying that even though he's the most skilled wonderful guy ever it's a shame he's such a jerk. instead of having people being worried about how dependent rozemyne is on ferdinand be played for cheap jokes about her being in love with him you could idk have it GO SOMEWHERE because if ferdinand isn't totally perfect then you could have that relationship actually negatively affect her in some sort of way that could perhaps cause a narrative conflict, and there should be sympathetic characters who actively dislike him for reasons other than not being able to keep up with his amazingness. like florencia just thinks he's a massive piece of shit because he tried to get her 6 year old son condemned to the ivory tower, or lutz thinks ferdinand is wrecking the myne he knows and loves in order to fit her into noble society, or charlotte and wilfried just end up hating him after he tries teaching them because he's an abusive jerk. i don't even wanna give him a redemption arc because i don't want rozemyne to need to "fix" him and idk who else it would be outside of maybe sylvester? if i was gonna try and not fundamentally change the structure of aob i genuinely think i would just move detlinde's assassination attempt to basically as soon as he gets settled in ahrensbach and also have it succeed. just fucking kill him! make rozemyne navigate the world without him! it also killing off justus and eckhart could even make it so they're also invading ahrensbach without knowing anything about lanzenave so the silver cloth and instant-death poison can actually matter.

[manonamora-if]

The Interactive Fiction DataBase - IFDB

What is the IFDB?

The IFDB, or Interactive Fiction DataBase, is a game catalogue, recommendation engine, and a platform to play games requiring an interpreter (to run the code).

As a catalogue, the IFDB is meant as a place to create a bibliography of IF games created throughout the years (over 12 thousands!), to leave a trace that these existed. It is maintained by its members. Anyone can join and add a listing or fix a mistake. You can also find listing for past IF competitions!

As a recommendation engine, the IFDB provides not only lists of the best-rated entries, but will show you games that you may enjoy based on the ones you've played/rated or what other members have played/rated. Entries are also categorised by tags, which are all searchable. Members are also able to create lists to recommende games they've enjoyed! Or leave reviews of those games too!

Finally, some games may require an interpreting engine to run. Those interpreters can be sometimes difficult to track down or to set up, especially for new players. The IFDB has a system that will allow you to play those games directly in your browser by clicking the button : Play Online (only available if the game has been uploaded through the IF Archive).

Why is the IFDB important?

The internet is a rapidly changing place. Preserving information is not only important for future generations, but can help current generations find information about what is happening now. Archiving creates a historical record of what the IF landscape looked like.

Along with the IF Archive (which archives IF games), the IFDB makes viewing the history of IF much easier to browse.

However, the IFDB lacks in many aspects. Not every IF community is aware of the database, which means many projects do not appear in this catalogue. While the IFDB has currently over 12k listings, the VNDB (the Visual Novel DataBase) has over 40k! The IFDB is also lacking in entries in languages other than English...

The IFDB accepts any listing for games, made in any program, as long as said game is an Interactive Fiction game and has had a playable version available somewhere at some point (so it accepts WIPs with demo). /!\ Do not create a page for announced project without a release ! /!\

Why create an IFDB page for your game?

Aside from being part of preserving the history of IF (which is the big thing), and be able to share your work to a different part of the community, the IFDB is a great place to get and leave long-form reviews for entries.

If your project was coded in a program that requires an interpreter, it is a great place to host your game without worrying about newer players having to find and set up an interpreter.

If you have been part of an IF competition, or received accolades for your project, this is also a good way to showcase those achievements.

Finally, the IFDB is also a point of reference for IF Awards like the XYZZY and the IFDB Awards.

How do you create an IFDB page?

/!\ Please check that the game listing you want to add has not been added first! /!\

To create an IFDB page, you need to set up an account and be logged in.

Then click on Add a Game Listing, on the right menu in the main page. You will get the following page:

(You should read through the Guidelines the first time you add a listing, they are located at the top of the page)

Though it looks long, there are only very few information required to create a page:

The title

The name(s) of the author(s)

It is recommended to fill in the date of first publication, development system (program used to code), language, IFID (if available) description of the game, and genre.

As for being able to play the game, you have two (non-exclusive) options:

list the URL of the website where the game is hosted

list the download URL of the game (can be done through the IF Archive, only if you are the author of the game!)

Note sure what something is? A description (or a link towards explanations) of what is expected is included for almost all items. You can also include information that is not listed in the drop-down case (like the System or language).

When you are happy with it, click Save changes.

You can also fix, edit, or delete information at any moment. You just need to click on the link Edit This Page at the bottom of the game page.

How do you add Ratings, Reviews and Game Suggestions ?

Logged in with your account, you have the possibility of leaving ratings and reviews on a game page. You can also help the IFDB algorithm by suggesting similar games to an entry.

The process is fairly straight-forward (clicking on the stars for the rating, clicking Review it for the review, and clicking Suggest similar games, for the suggestions). Thought you can find further explanations here, if you follow what the website is asking, you should not have any difficulty to complete the task !

If you review enough games, your name can end up on the main page!

How do I create a Competition Page?

Have you participated or organised an IF competition? Or are you cataloguing previous editions?

You can create a separate page for a Competition by clicking on Add a Competition Page on the right menu of the main page. You will then get the following page:

Then it is a matter of filling the different relevant items.

The Competition Page allows for divisions within competitions (e.g. : the EctoComp had 2 categories, made under 4h and over 4h) and, if needs be, ranking.

Important Note: the competition entries need to already be listed in the IFDB to be added to a competition page.

What are Lists and Polls?

Lists and Polls are two other tools that interact with game entries.

Lists, also called Recommendation Lists, are lists a member will curate with games they are recommending to other members or viewers of the IFDB. Some are general (like best game ever) while others are more specific (like games with an AI that is nice). They are akin to public collections on Itch.io.

Polls are... polls.

Note: If a game is included in a poll and/or a list, these will appear on the game's page.

~~~~

TLDR: create an account, help preserve the IF landscape by recording its history, review games too :P

If I missed something, or something is unclear, let me know so I can edit it!

[netherworldpost]

Hi Atty! First, thank you for being a source of spooky, otherworldly joy in the world and on tumblr. Secondly, a while back (possibly quite a while back) you shared a link to some starting-a-small-business resources that (I think) you made. It was possibly a google doc? I had the link open in a tab for a very long time, but now that I’m about to finally start starting my own colorful business, I seem to have lost that particular tab, and tumblr’s search function is…well…it’s tumblr’s search function, and therefore less than functional. Am I correct in that recollection and/or what advice do you have for someone who has never done anything like this? I’m excited, but also a bit worried!

I cannot locate the document either, I'm afraid. I've been in multiple arguments discussions arguments (is correct) over the last several months as I've ventured into "Hey I have thoughts, maybe they are useful!" so I might have deleted it.

I can sum some basics up

Keep your costs low, especially as you start out. You have to build an audience and this takes time (that's the bad news). Once you build an audience your audience helps you build a larger audience (that's the good news). The tipping points of scale are invisible and you won't know you've reached them until you're past. Just keep going.

If you aren't making a profit consistently, this is a hobby. There is no moral difference between a hobby and a business. It boils down to "am I making money on this, or am I spending money on this."

If running the thing makes you more You than not running it, keep going, even if it costs you money -- but, doubly so here, keep the costs to an enjoyable limit.

The point I want to express is a lot of people start a weird business, it costs them a small fortune because they attempt to spend their way to success, it collapses under the weight of said costs, and they feel a failure.

Unless money is no object (because of financial resources external to the business or you are creating something that does not have a production cost), failure fundamentally does not exist.

Making money is hard. The more you make, the harder it is to make more, so keep all of this in mind when you're designing your labor systems. "I can put a card in an envelope" is easy. "I can put 100 cards in 100 envelopes" is more than 100x harder.

This is not to dissuade you, it is to prepare a bed of moss for when the honeymoon cloud ends.

Focus, tightly, why you're doing this.

If you want more money, a second job is going to give you more for less hours of work. If you want the world to be different, this is a great way to do it.

If you want both -- if you want this to be a solid source (if not your main source) of income -- that's great. I cannot stress this enough: prepare for the long haul. Decades -- not years, decades. I started in the mid 90s. I got successful in the mid 2010s.

The best news is you don't have to make that decision permanently, you can decide every day to do what you want, it's your shop.

When you get a lucky break and you think "did I deserve this lucky break" put that thought to bed. It doesn't matter.

When you get an unlucky break and you think "should I have done something different to prevent this" put that thought to bed. It doesn't matter.

Your main competition is going to be people you post your things without crediting you -- 99/100 times without malice. Your competition is not the people who make similar things as you.

Once you reach a threshold, "giant corporations who steal from you" can be added to that list.

The point: worrying about another independent creator's work is not useful energy. Unless they are directly stealing from you, just keep going.

This is a difficult set of tasks. Keep going. Every problem you have will have an industry built to solve it -- not a singular vendor, an entire industry. Find who you are comfortable with and can afford.

When you want to do ABC and you can't afford it, reduce scope. If you can't afford Extra Fancy Packaging then use something cheaper. If you can't afford Extra Fancy Project Production then reduce the fanciness.

If it drives up the retail price out of what your customers will pay, if it takes too long to assemble and put into an envelope to ship, if it's too complicated to handle efficiently -- reduce scope.

Listen to me very carefully. Get uncomfortably close to ensure you understand this.

This is not cheating.

This is business. This is how business works. You continuously measure "what is possible vs. what is sale-able vs. what is profitable." and then go with the center of this diagram.

If you don't want to reduce scope, if you want costs-be-damned-I-want-what-I-want: treat this as a hobby. That's fine. See above points.

I cannot begin to explain how many books I have built that were Massively God Damn Complicated Oh God Why WHY and the why was "so it exists in the world." That has been my hobby-stuff.

I cannot begin to explain how many books I have built that were "hm, I shall streamline this, I shall enjoy it, my audience will enjoy it." This is business-stuff.

Sometimes I'll take a business-stuff thing and make a single special edition with water color or gold leaf or a special box etc. as a gift or just to keep. That's a blend. Acceptable.

Do not work for exposure.

Do not work for a large company that says "we'll give you so many business contacts if you just give us one for free."

Do not give free stuff to a social media influencer for a shout out on their channel.

The validity of these strategies is irrelevant until you have enough cash on hand and experience and an audience big enough to build an advertising campaign. If you cannot afford an advertising campaign, then you're in the realm of "reduce scope."

Your logo set in Arial in a single color with default font settings is going to last until you can comfortably say "I want more" and then build more or hire someone to build more.

Your website in a free Shopify or Big Cartel (etc) theme) is going to last you until you can comfortably say "I want more" and then build more or hire someone to build more or buy a template.

Last point.

Your brand is "I make X, it is of Y quality, it is available at Z-location" is 99% of branding.

You get to do this. You are doing this on purpose. You are doing this for a reason.

For a very long time, your profit levels will be less than the interest a high yield interest savings account would offer you for your investment cash. That is to say you could be making more money with 0 effort than you are with A Significant Amount of Effort.

I am talking about money a lot because it is the connection that links all businesses together.

This is your shop. Own it. Keep in mind, "This is my shop. I run it how i want."

If you are running out of resources, reduce scope. If it's not fun, reduce it to a hobby. If you're scared, reduce consequences of things not working out quickly. If people laugh or deride your work, block them.

I love business. I love the weird, complicated problems it brings. It gives me a focus. I love coming to the office and bothering my best friend with my intense nonsense that somehow puts food on tables and roofs over heads.

My life would be so much more straight forward if I just made art and either put it into the world or held onto it in private. I would be making so much more art in if I went down this path.

But running a shop, running a business, makes me more me. The shop and the art are not two halves of a singular piece, they wound together on a molecular level.

As long as that exists in my core, I'll be making a business. If it ever does not, I'll make it a hobby.

Don't measure penalties or lost opportunities.

Measure wins, big and small, of things that went well because you're smart and capable, or your lucky and smart, or your lucky and capable, or you royally fucked up but it worked out anyway, or you learned a lesson because of a past failure, etc.

This isn't a competition. It's a thing that makes you You more You than if you weren't doing it, so you are, to the best of your ability + the limit of your desire.

[mykindofgeeky]

An Exhausting Review of The Wheel of Time

Apologies for the delay. Unfortunately round 2 of @fantasybooktournament ended right before my work week. On top of that Tears of the Kingdom and Gideon the Ninth have been consuming many of my waking hours outside of work. At this moment I am taking a break from both of my current obsessions to try and organize my thoughts about WoT. I will be providing a spoiler free TLDR followed by a more in depth review of the first four books.

SPOILER FREE TLDR:

The Good:

The Wheel of Time is an exceptionally well written high fantasy epic.

It utilizes its main cast well and most of them have satisfying narrative arcs.

The magic is unique and well thought out.

The women of the cast share just as many interesting personalities and skills as the men.

The series plays a lot with gender roles directly related to the magic system.

It has a lot to say about destiny and the heroes journey.

Several interesting mentor figures that all have just as many negative traits as positive ones.

A focus on one character's PTSD that is very believable and taken seriously by both the narrative and the characters around them.

A beautiful ending that still makes me cry when I think about it.

Brandon Sanderson

The Bad:

There are several villains that are sexual predators utilizing brainwashing, violence, and grooming to get their way. Jordan doesn't write sex scenes so none of the acts are recorded in the books but they are heavily implied.

There is exactly one trans woman character and she is a villain. She is also a sexual predator.

There is slavery in this series. It is done by one of the antagonist factions but it is not really resolved by the end of the series.

EXTREMELY LONG.

The insane amount of characters is a lot to keep track of. That said you don't NEED to know every character by name.

Major low point in the series that can be difficult to read due to a dramatic shift in narrative pacing. This starts in Book 5.

While the women are interesting they were still written by an old white guy. A lot of the "strong female characters" we have are described as overbearing, conniving, and arrogant.

The romance is often forced and the end of the series appears to be obsessed with pairing up all the characters without lovers.

Many of the characters have repeating physical habits as well as repeating experiences. Jordan will describe these things the same way over and over. There's a lot of fingering of blades, knuckling mustaches, yanking of braids, and adjusting of shawls.

Jordan clearly takes a lot of inspiration from Eastern faiths and cultures in both his magic system and the religion of the setting. He doesn't represent these things particularly well and it feels very Orientalist to me.

Brandon Sanderson

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

The Wheel of Time as a series is the absolute height of high fantasy epics in my opinion. It represents this sub-genre very well with nearly every trope of in the high fantasy tool box being utilized. That said it also carries many of the perceived negative aspects of the genre.

When I said this series was "very long" it is very much an understatement. The main series of books tops out at 4.4 MILLION words spread over 14 novels and 1 novella. It also has hundreds of characters with well over a hundred receiving a POV throughout the books. Yes that's right, this series has multiple characters sharing their perspectives.

The first three books I'm going to call "What if Robert Jordan wrote The Lord of the Rings?" These books are The Eye of the World, The Great Hunt, and The Dragon Reborn. Are these books direct rip offs of LotR? No absolutely not, but they do share a lot of the same structure. The fourth book The Shadow Rising is when things really get spicy.

***

The Eye of the World's primary purpose is to introduce important characters, set the narrative pacing of the series, and establish the setting.

It follows a group of youngsters from the village of Emond's Field; Rand, Mat, Perrin, Egwene, and Nynaeve. Several strangers come into the village for the Spring festival, Moiraine the Aes Sedai, Lan the Warder, and Thom the Gleeman. These characters serve as guides and mentors in the outside world later on. Shortly after this they are forced into a world of adventure after evil creatures called Trollocs attack their home.

The Eye of the World is a great opening to the series. It invites you into the setting and holds your hand through the first day before plunging you into the first night. The juxtaposition between the warm and gentle opening day and the horrifically violent night afterwards is a perfect synopsis of the two opposing forces of Light and Darkness.

It later lays the groundwork for the main characters' arcs that they will go through in the series while leaving room for doubt on if they will make it at all. There is also tons of foreshadowing not only within the book but also for the series as a whole. These are fun to piece together on a first read and even more fun to find on rereads.

The combat scenes are tense and you can really feel the Emond's Fielders panic contrasted with the wizened mentors calm. The social aspects of how the Aes Sedai fit into the world also provides plenty of tension. One of the main antagonistic forces in the series is introduced early on in Perrin and Egwene's travels and they are portrayed beautifully as the cruel bastards they are.

The ending is a little confusing, especially on a first read. Unfortunately Jordan seemed to have a bit of trouble writing around wanting the main antagonist to be in the book and for the main characters to think they've won in the end. It is a short and weird ending but most of the other books get much better endings.

***

The Great Hunt's job is to flesh out established villains and introduce new ones, flesh out some of the major factions, and provide more POVs on these weird ass situations. It primarily focuses on two storylines: "The Boys' No Good, Very Bad Day? Month? Year???" and "Little Witch Academia: Spy Game."

The Boys (Rand, Mat, and Perrin) are chasing down thieves who stole an important plot device called the Horn of Valere. They need this back because there is a concern that the horn could be used by the forces of evil to summon ghost heroes to fight for them. In addition they stole Mat's fucking drugs (an evil ass dagger from the first book) and now he's in withdrawal. The dagger is needed to break Mat's reliance on it.

The Girls (Egwene and Nynaeve; and new friends; Elayne and Min) are learning magic at the White Tower, home of the Aes Sedai. Egwene and Elayne are "Novices" together while Nynaeve has been allowed to become "Accepted" due to her being a bad bitch. Min is basically in a comfy jail cell and bored because she's not a witch. As they are learning magic they have been accidentally recruited into finding secret "Dark Friends" (followers of the main antagonist the Dark One) amongst the Aes Sedai.

Once again The Great Hunt does its job well. We get to learn much more about the world from several POVs. The White Tower is filled with political intrigue. The factions that have been introduced so far get a lot more development and the new ones are interesting. We see an introduction of several significant bad guys including the Seanchan who are really interesting.

At this point we have had a lot of growth with our main cast. They are still scared of conflict but they know how to defend themselves. They become more comfortable with the outside world some willingly some unwillingly. The mentor characters are starting to step away from being mentors which allows them to be more independent characters in their own right. That tenseness from the first book never really goes away. This book has a lot of twists that will have you on the edge of your seat.

The ending is far more comprehensible in The Great Hunt than The Eye of the World. It is extremely epic with an incredible three-way struggle that is referenced throughout the rest of the series.

***

The Dragon Reborn is our epic conclusion to Jordan's Lord of the Rings. Its job is to finish a lot of what was started, and develop our main cast further. It follows four groups of our cast to the city of Tear where The Dragon is to be Reborn: "The Al'Thor Identity (Crisis)," "Nanny Damodred: Manhunt," "Little Witch Academia: Spy Game pt. 2," and "The Guilt Trip."

Rand has been proclaimed the Dragon Reborn by Moiraine after the events of the second book. Rand is not a fan of this. He is so not a fan of it that he decides to try and speedrun this whole "Chosen One" thing. Of he skips to Tear by himself where he is supposed to claim a special sword that proves he's the Dragon Reborn. Reality literally bends around him on his way leaving a pretty clear path to follow.

Moiraine is not a fan of Rand going off leash and needs to chase him down. She takes Lan (who is basically glued to her ass anyway), Loial the Ogier (elves but thicc), and Perrin. He's pretty easy to follow since there's a Rand shaped hole left behind everywhere he goes. On the way Perrin makes two new friends; Gual the Aiel, and Faile (who are now both glued to Perrin's ass).

Nynaeve, Egwene, and Elayne are hunting more dark friend Aes Sedai after there was a theft and breakout of several of them from the White Tower. These dark friends stole several items of power and they must be retrieved. The girls are tracking them down disguised as Aes Sedai which is leading them to Tear unbeknownst to Rand and Moiraine.

Mat has been brought to the White Tower to be healed and separated from the dagger. In addition it is revealed that Mat is now connected to the Horn of Valere due to the events of the second book making him a very valuable asset to the White Tower. Mat nopes the fuck outta that and manages to escape after a lucky run of dicing and finding his old mentor Thom the Gleeman. After traveling to Caemlyn to deliver a letter, Mat becomes aware of a plot to murder Elayne. He knows that she's heading for Tear and decides to go after her.

Overall this is my favorite book of the first three. Its a more complicated plot but its easy enough to follow and every time the POV switches you get excited to learn more about that part of the story. This is the beginning of Rand's "madness" which is a side effect of being the Dragon Reborn as well as being a male witch and I enjoy how its written. You really feel for Rand as he acts like a cornered animal with nothing to lose. Perrin's interactions with his two new companions are fun with Gual being a fast friend who gives good advice and Faile being a compelling romantic interest with an acid tongue. I really enjoy how Perrin really appreciates Faile's beauty over time as he gets to know her. That said they kinda fall for each other really fast out of nowhere. Although they are probably one of the more interesting couples in the series. The girls have a fun roadtrip down to Tear with lots of new characters introduced. They aren't as prominent in this book but once they get to Tear they get to do a lot of cool shit. Mat's roadtrip with Thom is a fun reflection of their trip together in the first book with a far more competent Mat and a Thom who sees Mat as more of a man. We also get to see Mat's intelligence shine in this book which is great because he was more of a side character in the first two books.

The ending is a chaotic mess but in a fun way. All of these characters are smashing into each other by coincidence and foiling each others plans, rescuing each other from danger, and of course getting into arguments. There isn't really a big antagonist in this ending but it doesn't detract from the book at all.

***

OK NOW WE ARE GETTING SPICY! This is where the series really starts to shine bright!

The Shadow Rising is widely considered to be one of the best novels in the whole series. Personally it is my favorite fantasy novel hands down! The Shadow Rising is trying to do many things here but primarily it is: expanding the scope of the setting, circling back to previous plot points/details, increasing our main cast's influence on the world.

The Shadow Rising is the longest book for a reason. It is covering many, many storylines at the same time but I'm going to try and narrow it down. Primarily I'm going to focus on four groups: "Al'Thor of the Three-Fold Land," "Back to the Shire," "Little Witch Academia: Spy Game pt.3," and "How to Stage a Coup: Paint It Red."

Rand has been reading. This is a mistake. He decides that he must go to the Aiel Waste in order to become their chosen one, the Car'a'carn, The Chief of Chiefs. He is joined by Mat, Egwene, Moiraine, and his Aiel allies. During their journeys they are forced to discover more about themselves. Egwene goes to desert witch bootcamp. Mat gets a fancy spear and a new hat. Honestly, everything is coming up Al'Thor so far.

Perrin is worried about Emond's Field and decides to go back home and make sure everything is ok. He is joined by Gaul, Loial, Faile, and two additional Aiel Bain and Chiad who have taken a liking to Faile. They show up to the Two Rivers being invaded by Trollocs and the White Cloaks (who are chasing Perrin). Perrin and friends rally the Two Rivers to fight against both invaders.

Nynaeve, Elayne, Thom, and a new friend from the last book Juilin are still trying to smoke out the dark friend Aes Sedai. They track the traitors to Tanchico and begin searching the city. They end up finding more than they bargained for.

Min is continuing to be an endlessly annoyed guest of the White Tower. She is being used as a spy by the Amyrlin Seat (head of the White Tower) but she soon finds herself in a dangerous situation. Elaida the Red Sister is attempting a coup to claim the Amyrlin Seat for herself. Min manages to fine Siuan (the original Amyrlin) and Leane (her right hand woman) but they are both powerless and can no longer do magic. As they are escaping they also collect the dangerous criminal and False Dragon, Logain.

This is what we were waiting for. This is the true first chapter of the series. Everything up to know has been a prologue in my mind. We get serious character development, expansion of the setting, violence, romance, and so much more magic. If you want to read this series but don't think you'll finish it I BEG OF YOU read to this book. The Aiel are so goddamn cool and their culture is really interesting. The magic fights are getting more intense with them being narrated almost like sword fights. The politics within the White Tower and the Two Rivers is really cool. The drama in the Two Rivers with Perrin is so intense! I just can't praise this book enough.

I think I have to leave it there this is already too damn long. I really hope you give this series a chance and see if it is for you. Happy reading everyone!

“You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyways.” - The Eye of the World

[windvexer]

Thanks for answering my last ask, because well… I’ve been going by the book for literally EVERY CARD, pulling muddled readings 60% and then pulling more cards when cards don’t make sense to me, and I’ve been wondering where I went wrong. *obviously I know the whole “your personal method works best” but in this case it’s not working for me* But yeah, thank you chicken, it was really helpful bc I’ve been hitting a wall for a while and I think I needed to hear this.

Here is one way of reading tarot as a simple oracle which does not use spreads.

As far as I'm aware this is my original system. For me, it provides sterling omens that can be arrived at simply enough (once you are used to it) without using the book meanings.

The problem with book definitions is that sometimes they are very difficult to associate to any specific problem, and not everyone can read intuitively.

So perhaps you'd like to try elemental dignities. First, assign each card one of the four Western elements (earth/air/fire/water). This is easily done for the suits. The task is more difficult for major arcana. Lists of major arcana elements can be found.

Or, simply take all the major arcana out of the deck.

Next, assign a few qualities to each element. These qualities may be ones that also make sense for spellwork or other rituals, but remember that here our goal is divination, and it's fine to assign qualities that only make sense for divination.

Here is a starter list if you'd like to use my qualities:

Fire (wands): Very fast (the fastest). Passion and desire (carnal and otherwise). Intensity. Aligns with questions of want, creativity, and fulfillment. The spark of life and what makes us "glow." Force to get the job done quickly.

Air (swords): Fast. The mind and intellectual pursuits. Knowledge, rationality, objective truth. Matters of learning, education, and skills. Aligns with questions of knowledge, truth. Deceit and betrayal. Cleverness to get the job done precisely.

Water (cups): Slow. The heart, subconscious, and the current that runs underneath things. Feelings, poetry, and subjective truth. Matters of emotions, relationships, and bonds that tie. Aligns with questions of motivation, feeling, and wellbeing. Wisdom to get the job done best.

Earth (pentacles): Very slow. The physical bodies of things, and the institutions and structures that we use to care for and manage bodies, and create physical things. Labor, money, wealth, debt. Matters of physicality (a friend being present in body, versus in spirit). Discipline to get the job done completely.

Alright. Now, if you don't work with elements very much, you may actually need to spend some time getting on the same page with them. That's alright - it's part of the fun! (and good exercise if you want to expand your elemental sorcery)

Because next, what you've got to do is assign an element to your question.

I can't remember if you said or not what your original spell was about, that you were reading on.

But let's say that it was a job spell. To me, that would be an Earth question. If it was about a person discovering a career path that they're passionate about, maybe that would be a Fire question. If it was about discovering a career path that is best for their wellbeing, perhaps that would be a Water question.

There is a lot of ambiguity here (is a question about a friend who is a suspected backstabber in the workplace an earth, water, or air question?) but all you've got to do is pick the element you think works best for your question.

Alrighty. So we've cast a Fire spell, let's say, and we need to know how it will go. All the major arcana have been taken out of the deck. Now, find the Wheel of Fortune and shuffle it back into the deck.

Shuffle shuffle shuffle.

Hold the deck face-up, so the pictures are facing you. Pick up cards one at a time and set them aside until you find the wheel of fortune.

The card on top of the wheel of fortune is the best possible outcome for the spell.

The card beneath the wheel of fortune is the worst possible outcome for the spell.

Here is how you judge the omen:

A card that matches your question's element is a very good omen.

If my top and bottom cards are both Fire cards, that is great for my Fire question.

A card that opposes your question's element is a very bad omen.

Earth and air oppose each other

fire and water oppose each other

If my bottom card is Water, that means the worst possible outcome for my Fire question is very bad indeed.

A card that neither matches nor opposes your element is a decent omen.

Earth and water are good friends with each other

Earth and fire are just buddies

Air and fire are good friends with each other

Air and water are just buddies

Suppose my question is will this business deal go well? Which I have chosen to be an earth question.

I shuffle. The cards are as follows:

On top of the Wheel of Fortune (best possible outcome): Cups card

Beneath the Wheel of Fortune (worst possible outcome): Swords card

Now I can see that the watery cups card is good friends with my earthy question, and the best possible outcome is just fine - not perfect, but a good deal.

Unfortunately, the airy swords card opposes my earthy question - the worst possible outcome is very bad indeed.

Perhaps now I'd like to know how to prevent against this worst outcome - I may perform the operation over again, this time instead of the Wheel of Fortune using a card related to victory or protection (perhaps for a business deal I'd choose the Emperor or the Chariot), and choosing new meanings for my top and bottom cards. Perhaps this time the top card will be "best thing I can do to prevent a bad business deal" and the bottom card will be "worst thing I can do."

Because if you'd like a little more detail, you can start accounting for the elemental meanings and the card numbers.

Now, here is a note - if you are just asking for outcomes, it is easy to apply the "opposite element = bad outcome" rule. But if you are asking for guidance, opposing elements can begin to function more as warning signs than bad omens. Let's see this in action below:

Now I ask an airy question - what is the best way to stop this business deal going bad?

And instead of the WoF I choose to use the exact same swords card that was my bad omen the first time around.

I shuffle the deck and find that swords card.

On top of the swords card (best action to take to prevent a bad deal): Page of Pentacles

Underneath the swords card (worst thing I could do; would make the situation worse): Nine of Cups

Well heck! My most positive card is enemies with my question's element. How may this be resolved? To answer that, let's take a look at what to do with the card's position in the suit.

I guess you can use numerology if you want, but we're after something a lot more simple.

Aces may be high or low (that is, an ace card may be weaker than the 2 or stronger than the 10 -- choose for yourself)

Cards gain intensity as their numbers go up (the 6 card is twice as intense as the 3 card)

Furthermore, the court cards gain the following attributes (courts can be tricky, so feel free to remove them from your deck entirely):

Pages function as novices, learners, observers, students, and apprentices; lowest on the social ladder; outsiders looking in

Knights function as competent workers, people who get the job done, the person who goes out and does things; middling on the social ladder; involved in the situation

Queens function as leaders, middle managers, and delegators. The person to talk to in order to get the go-ahead. The person with many answers. Higher on the social ladder; managing the situation.

Kings function as bosses, executives, and rulers. The person who sets the game plan that the queens abide by. May be out of touch or even have fewer pragmatic answers than the queen. The person with the vision. Highest on the social ladder; controls the situation.

Let's mash a couple of things here together to try and understand why being a Page of Pentacles will help stop this Airy situation from going bad.

Because of the element traits of earth (discipline, jobs) and the significance of the page (novice, learner, low on the social ladder), I can determine that in this situation, the Page of Pentacles represents as behaving as a humble student of business is a great outcome for me.

Because of the element traits of water (feelings, connection, emotion) and the high intensity of the number nine card, I can determine that in this situation, the Nine of Cups represents me behaving in an intensely subjectively emotional way, perhaps to try and force a friendship with that business person.

I know that the Page of Pentacles card must reflect something positive and helpful (it is the best thing for me to do!) and that is how I derive the more helpful meaning.

I know that the Nine of Cups must be something unhelpful and perilous, which is how I derive the less helpful meaning.

How do I resolve the Page of Pentacles as being the opposite element of my airy question?

Here, I determine that my ideas of what it takes to succeed are backwards. The way I am seeing this situation is upside-down - by behaving as if I am so friendly to this business person, I would ruin the deal. What they want to see is that I am ready to learn the ropes and be easy to work with.

Well, anyway. I could go on and on as there are many nuances to this method.

If you've made it all the way to the end, now you can have an extra tip! If assigning an element to your own question is too difficult at this time, make the oracle even more simple. Fire is the best possible outcome, air is a good outcome, water is a fine outcome, and earth is the worst outcome.

Interpret only one card - either on top of, or beneath the Wheel of Fortune (as this variation is so simple that drawing 2 cards often doesn't make sense).

[finelinens]

Hey, about your media literacy post—which was very well done—I totally agree that we sort of unable to trust other users or institutional opinions right now. So the way I see it, the option left to us that is to learn to trust ourselves. Learn to pay attention to the way truth feels when we ourselves say it (on any topic, especially the tiny ones), what it sounds like, and what untruth feels like when we also say it (the instances where we say things we don’t mean). A focused study of truth in ourselves makes it easy to recognise in others and other situations.

For example, I’ll now know when my answer to a maths/logical question is wrong, because it feels/sounds like not the truth, even if it’s what I have logically deduced and therefore ‘should’ be right. So then I’ll know to stop and rethink until I do find the right answer, I’ll realise my logical thinking was off, which I recognise because it feels like the truth when I see it. (This is all easy to prove because they’re all maths / logic questions, for example. It works. And then extrapolate this concept.)

It’s interesting that in the past many would have dismissed this approach due to its seeming lack of objectivity—but it is glaringly obvious now that trying to form an opinion based off ‘objective’ evidence is just not going to be possible (and I’d argue, it never was). So, this is my approach of some tools to which to turn. Honestly, it’s the only way out that I see. Increasingly I am realising truth is not a set of facts, which can be easily manipulated, or which are scientific fact one day and not the next, but rather this total calm knowing which goes beyond all need for argument. I feel like if you can just calmly smile in an argument rather than argue back, you’re probably closer to the truth.

i debated a lot about whether or not i should post this message at all but it might be a good thing to talk about, so i'll post it for now

the thought process you described here has the potential to be really unbelievably dangerous, so i hope you can try to hear me out here. the truth "feeling" like the truth is such an incredibly subjective thing and is 100% vulnerable to your own biases. at one point in my life, the "truth" according to my feeling was... just not true at all. the "truth" according to my feelings was that transgender people were mentally ill and just needed some sympathy and help in order to get better. i genuinely felt this, and, like you described, it felt true and right. it was not true or right, though; my perceived "truth" was not truth at all, it was just ignorance entirely influenced by my own biases and fears. the way of thinking you described in your message is exactly what leads people to believe that their thoughts borne of ignorance are true and right, no matter what, because they feel right. of course they feel right! ignorance is comfortable! you could absolutely debate the validity of objective truth as a concept, but purely functioning on a vibes-based moral and ethical system is just accidentally giving yourself permission to remain ignorant or bigoted.

i apologize if my original post wasn't clear enough, as i said, i was just writing out my thoughts unedited! i wasn't trying to say that since there is no way to verify information anymore, we should just give up and go with our guts. i was saying that information is becoming increasingly more difficult to verify, so i'm nervous about the future of education and information gathering. i don't have a proposed solution, i'm just expressing fears that are widespread nowadays. a possible solution to this frankly existential issue is something i think about a lot, and i'm glad to see many others thinking about it too.

hopefully this makes sense, and hopefully it prompts you to reflect on your philosophy about your relationship with truth!

[valkyrie-8888]

the wilbur soot situation

hi

im not a very big person on social media, nor do i post often, but i just want to get this out of my system. this post is just going to be a little rant and my take on the current situation. to anyone who is not yet caught up to the situation, i hope this can help a bit.

TW: discussions of abuse, domestic violence, death threats, etc

--------------------------------

when i first saw a video about wilbur soot's allegations, i thought it wasn't anything that bad. things like this happen to cc's all the time.

a while later, it kept popping up. i still thought it would go away eventually. i'm not proud of it in hindsight, but i cant change the past.

recently, i realized this situation was serious, and decided to catch up and investigate. what i was not prepared for was having my view of the world absolutely shattered. this will not go away. it will not be silenced by fanatics who believe their favourite cc can do no wrong. this is extremely serious.

a bit of backstory, so that my reasoning can clearly be understood:

i started getting into dsmp in around the start of 2021. i was immediately drawn to the dynamics of sbi as a group and started watching mainly their pov-s of things. the three quickly became a part of my daily life. i have been watching them ever since. went through some really bad times, especially after technoblade's death. after that, i started watching wilbur and phil more.

wilbur soot, i highly doubt you will read this, but if you do, i want you to know that I am disgusted by you, your behaviour, your response to said behaviour coming to light, and your sheer cowardice. you are a disgusting human being. there is no justification for your actions. no apology can undo what you have done. and from what i have heard and seen, shubble might not be the only victim.

as of my writing this, wilbur soot has not given any more responses besides the emotionless and frankly disgusting apology published on twitter/x

an overview of everything, my take on this situation, and just a little vent:

wilbur soot is an abuser and a manipulator. he ignored consent and a set safe word. as someone who heavily believes that consent and respecting it is common sense, i am disgusted, to say the least. i recommend reading more on the situation and watching an unbiased and neutral video

i looked for any possible justification, any way this could be misunderstood or redeemed. i have found none.

this man was my idol. i looked up to him, respected him, and admired him deeply. he was my comfort streamer and one of my favourite musical artists.

because of this, i will find it extremely difficult to cut him out of my life completely. however, i do not support him or condone his behaviour in any way. i don't think i will be able to completely sever all bonds to him. that's what abusers do, isn't it? they worm themselves into your life, make themselves irreplaceable, and, once their toxicity is discovered, they guilt trip you into staying, or make you think it's your fault or just paranoia.

the people who try to justify his behaviour, belittle or blame the victims of his abuse, or frankly any abuse, are absolutely disgusting. karma is a bitch, and i hope it hits them hard.

wilbur soot, it seems, has blown up his own career just like he did to l'manburg. i hope to never hear about him again, except to see him be brought to justice. domestic abuse is a felony.

my message for shubble:

you are incredibly brave. to speak up at all about anything like this takes a lot of courage. i despise the fact that the obsessive fans are threatening and blaming you. it is disgusting. but i am happy to see that you are still standing strong. your story has inspired others to come forward and take this man down once and for all.

EDIT: Insight a few days later

there have been more people telling their stories. the 'allegations' can no longer be referred to as such. i now add 'rapist' to the many words one uses to talk about this horrendous man.

i personally feel a bit gaslit myself. this person so many praised and referred to as this perfect man turned out to be an absolute incel.

one thing i noticed after looking through old clips is that there were in fact signs that seem obvious now. niki also mentioned the biting a few years ago. however, we all laughed it off as a bit. because we thought it was. because we were lead to believe it was. in one clip, wilbur tells niki to 'tell them how horrible i am to you,' and proceeds to start fucking hoovering. and everyone laughs it off. because that's his thing.

there are also signs in some of the songs in both ycgma and those released separately. especially your new boyfriend, soft boy, and the nice guy ballad. the last one is the most chilling. there are also some lyrics in ycgma, like 'abuse those i love/while i ostracize the ones who love me back'.

to end my little rant/essay, if wilbur soot is a manipulator, what is to stop him from (consciously or subconsciously) applying these behaviours to his online presence?

i genuinely hope he can get help and improve as a person, but that does not excuse his past behaviour. neither does his bad mental state during said behaviours.

[huntunderironskies]

If (hypothetically speaking) a guy (not necessarily me, but whoever's doing it would definitely be very smart and handsome) were to make a game about were-creatures (guess what it's inspired by) in an urban fantasy setting (ft. a lot of fighting on both the social and physical front and sick-ass powers), how would you like the player characters to be handled in terms of mechanics?

For context: I'm planning on doing a splat type deal (like a character class if this somehow breaches containment from my normal sphere) with your species being your splat. This will determine powers and other benefits you'll have access to. Uncertain if it'll function on an x/y splat axis, this is still very early development phases and honestly I need to hack out just how I'm going to handle everything before we get to that step. I'm torn on whether or not I like the idea but I feel like the secondary solution here is to just do both.

And to be clear, I am very set on having a monster secret society here. I don't like the idea of them being individualistic or isolated, so having the splats be culturally cohesive in some way is very important to me. I'm also somewhat set on having a medium-to-high crunch system here, rules-lite monsters has been done a bit more extensively than I'd like. This will almost definitely be an in-house system as well.

So, with that said, here is my cost-benefit analysis for the three options. You might have to pitch me the secret fourth thing but I promise I will at least consider those.

Folkloric Archetypes

As you are probably very aware if you've heard me talk for more than five minutes, I really like religious studies. It's very easy to come up with general roles that certain animals can play within human folklore and mythology. Tricksters, warriors, psychopomps, and so on. The idea here is you get fairly abstract powers (like being able to talk to ghosts if you're a psychopomp) and get to roughly pick what species you might be that fits into that general archetype.

Bonuses: Permits a very wide variety of potential animal species. Lots of wiggle room in terms of what species can be what and I could just give general examples. Allows people to use their own animal species I might not have thought of.

Drawbacks: Extremely difficult to give broad archetypes any specific lore focus or concentrated society. My preference is towards simulationist systems and it'd be very hard to come up with ways to handle form bonuses since that will absolutely be a thing, what's the fun of a shapeshifter system if you don't get to literally go beast mode? Not as much room to expand on roles either since there's far less you can do with general archetypes.

Species-by-Species Case

Kind of self-explanatory. You get a grab bag of well-known species heavily associated with shapeshifting (wolves, hyenas, cats, bears, possibly seals, et cetera) and pick one you like. You'll still get at least some abstract powers, though.

Bonuses: Lends itself well to mid-to-high crunch simulationist thing. Easy to incorporate actual fun facts about what the animal in question is capable of and make those innate abilities. Easier to justify in an urban fantasy setting as having inspired various folklore bits IRL, meaning they feel like they have a natural place in the setting. A lot easier to justify each group having highly specific cultural practices, making the options feel more unique.

Drawbacks: Way less freeform in terms of character options, meaning player options are more limited. Simulationist usually means tons of tweaking stats and having to fuss over game balance while remaining somewhat realistic, so lots of cognitive overhead for the designer, who may or may not be me.

Both (usage of an x/y splat axis?)

Yeah. My first thought is that in this case the species splat would be like..."giant predator" or "stealth ambusher" or whatever, and then you have a cultural splat that's more like what your folklore role is (so the whole "trickster" or "psychopomp" thing.)

Bonuses: Best of both worlds...? Maybe?

Drawbacks: Not sure how to handle the way shapeshifter culture would work here. Justifying something like a trickster bear seems like it would be difficult which could lead to some incongruities. oh god so many powers to make

[edgy-ella]

My biggest hopes for Sonic x Shadow Generations

This sounds cliche as hell, but watching the trailer for this game made me feel like a little kid again. Sonic Generations is one of my favorite games of all time and I still vividly remember when it was announced. That being said, I, like many other Sonic fans, thought it was a bit weird that Generations was next up on the remaster train once leaks started to circulate about it. The game has been available on places like Steam for over a decade and still looks and plays fantastically, unlike games like Heroes and Unleashed which remain stuck on their original console gen or the Adventure games which desperately need a visual touch up at the very least.

But if they’re going to remake Generations, I’m glad that this is the route they’re taking with it. I’ve always been a big Shadow fan, so I’m thrilled to see him get his own side story in Generations that explores his past adventures alongside Sonic’s main campaign. Especially since, let’s face it, levels like Westopolis aren’t nearly as fondly remembered as levels like Green Hill or City Escape. This is a good opportunity to go back to old concepts in a better engine and really make them shine. The original Generations did this with Crisis City and the Silver boss fight, so I have faith in Sonic Team’s ability to do the same thing again this time around with the more Shadow-centric content.

(It’s also a great way to reintroduce Shadow to newer fans in preparation for the next Sonic movie)

But, outside of general polish, what do I want out of this game? I’ve 100%’d the original Generations, so I feel like I’m in a better position than most to share my thoughts.

1. Consolidate Time Attack with Story Mode

In Sonic Generations, there are two main gameplay modes: the main story, and a separate time attack mode. The latter of which is notoriously buggy, at least on Steam, prone to crashing when loading a level or otherwise just not tracking your times and high scores at all. There’s a reason why playing all of the levels in time attack mode is the game’s rarest achievement on Steam, even more rare than 100%ing the game or beating the final boss without getting hit.

But even if those issues were fixed, I’d still like to see the separate time attack mode removed altogether. If you have a really good run of a certain level in the main story mode, that time will not transfer over to time attack, effectively making your best time worthless since it won’t be put on the online leaderboards. The times you get in time attack mode also don’t bleed over into the main campaign, so if you S-rank a level in one mode, it won’t carry over to the other.

In my opinion, this is really bad game design, and I think Sonic Team knows this. Games released after Generations like Forces have done away with this issue by simply getting rid of time attack mode and tracking all your best times in one place—the main story campaign—and pulling leaderboard placings from there. That’s what I want to see for Sonic x Shadow Generations.

The one argument I could see against this is that Generations has a surprisingly robust customization system that allows you to buy and equip different skills and power ups for Sonic to use in each level. This includes the Chaos Emeralds after you beat the game, which naturally let you play as Super Sonic to blitz through any level with reckless abandon after you get 50 rings. This level of customization can make it difficult to judge the skill of players in a vacuum, which is why a developer may want to bar them from use in a leaderboard setting, especially Super Sonic.

I don’t agree with this mindset. I’d argue that allowing all the different skills and power ups for time attack serves to create a stronger sense of community, as it enforces players to test out different skill setups and share their results with others. I can picture an active community debating amongst themselves which skills would be the best to use on each level. If Super Sonic/Shadow is too much of a concern, then either ban them from the leaderboards like in Forces or create a separate leaderboard just for them.

2. A Stricter Ranking System

Sonic games really fluctuate on how easy or hard it is to get the highest rank in every level. Games like Adventure 2 and 06 can often feel too demanding of the player, which also isn’t good, but Generations falls firmly on the other end of the spectrum. It’s really, really easy to S-rank everything in this game.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, and I much rather prefer a lenient ranking system over one that’s extremely strict. But when it’s too easy to get S-rank most of the game’s levels, it kills a lot of the game’s replayability. Generations has surprisingly robust level design that I don’t think a lot of people would expect from a boost game, but the game rarely encourages you to take advantage of it. If the most straightforward route gets you the same results as the one that you need precise jumps and quick reflexes to get on, why bother going off the beaten path at all?

Outside of the ease of S-ranks, the time gaps between each rank is also way too big for a game like this. Let’s use Green Hill Act 2 as an example. To get a C-rank you need to beat the level in 11 minutes. To get a B-rank, you need to beat the level in 7 minutes. To get an A-rank, you need to beat the level in 3 minutes. To get an S-rank, you need to get an A-rank and beat the level without dying.

See what I mean? The time gaps here are way too big. In my opinion, they should all be within a minute or even less of each other. Seriously, who the fuck spends 11 minutes on Green Hill Act 2? I can literally only think of one level in the entire game that I ever spent more than ten minutes on, and…

3. Fix Planet Wisp Act 2 omg

Planet Wisp Act 2 is without a doubt the worst level in Generations. Some of the physics at the end of Crisis City Act 1 are a little weird (imagine that), but PW2 is just unbearable. It’s way too long, feels extremely repetitive, and most of the level forces you into a 2D platforming section during a Modern Sonic level. Its poor quality is especially an issue because, while it make not look it, this is the last level of the original release of Generations before the final boss fights.

I don’t think that there are any easy changes you could make to this level that could fix it. I get why they’d want to make it longer than usual since it’s the last level of the game, but when the level feels like a chore to get through, all that work comes off as padding rather than feeling climactic. I honestly think that it would be better to just start from scratch.

If I’m being honest, I’d even go as far as to use a different world from Colors instead. Generations has way too many big grassy areas as is. That’s something that Shadow will help rectify for this remaster, as he will naturally pull from more urban and sci-fi than Sonic, but the point still stands.

4. Mephiles?

Mephiles is a lot of people’s favorite Sonic villain. I am not one of those people. His plan sucks, his design sucks, his lore sucks, his boss fights are underwhelming. The only good parts about him are his voice acting and music.

Weirdly enough though, I’m…kind of hoping he shows up in Sonic x Shadow Generations?

I mean, if there ever was a time to bring him back, now would be it. There’s a long standing fan theory that the Time Eater, the main antagonistic force in Generations, is what’s leftover of Solaris/Mephiles after the events of Sonic 06. Both characters are shadowy time gods, the Time Eater is capable of pulling the bad future from Sonic 06 (Crisis City) even after the events of that game were erased from history, and the Time Eater really doesn’t have any origin or backstory otherwise. I don’t have a source on this, but I’m pretty sure that Ian Flynn supports this theory too.

While it looks like Shadow’s campaign in Sonic x Shadow Generations will mostly focus on his origin story and the Black Arms (which I think is the right move if part of Sega’s goal here is to reintroduce people to the character before the next movie comes out), it’d be a huge missed opportunity to not include Mephiles in some way, shape, or form. His beef with Shadow feels way more personal than his (almost nonexistent) beef with Sonic, so putting him in the Shadow campaign would be a natural fit. I would also love it if the game confirmed the Time Eater=Solaris theory, but I can also understand why Sega wouldn’t want to go that route. Distracting too much from the Black Doom stuff that they obviously want to focus on will just muddle the game’s narrative, which I’d bet will be much stronger than the one in the original Generations.

And…yeah, that’s all I got for now. What are you guys’ hopes for this game?

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

Cutting the Parasitic Cord

"Parasite: Noun.  An organism that lives on or in another organism, while not contributing towards that other organism sufficiently to cover the cost to that other organism."

[Warning for emotional abuse]

Tick…tick…tick…

Lillie silently wrung her hands.  The waiting room was quiet—eerily so—and something in her feared that if she was too loud it would throw the entire hospital into chaos.

Tick…tick…tick…

The wall clock directly above where she sat was driving her mad.  She could move to a different seat, but she worried that would look incredibly odd to the receptionist.  She could step out for a moment, get some fresh air, but she couldn’t risk missing the doctor.

Tick…tick…tick…

She leaned back slightly, which led her to realize nearly every muscle in her body was tightly tensed.  Quietly, she took a deep breath, and tried to relax herself at least a little.

Tick—BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNG!!

Lillie’s heart tried to leap from her chest like a Pokémon sick of being in its ball.  She held onto the armrests to steady herself while the receptionist answered the phone, the pounding in her ears drowning out both the conversation and the accursed clock.  Just as she felt she was getting her bearings back, the door on the other side of the room opened, and out walked the doctor in charge of her mother’s recovery.  It took one moment for Lillie to get on her feet, and just one more to reach the doctor’s side.

“Doctor!  Um, how did things go…?”

His smile was weary but warm.  “Quite well, I’d say.  Thanks to Bill’s Cell Separation System we were able to remove all traces of the toxins in your mother’s body.”

Lillie sighed.  “Oh, good…thank you so much for taking care of her.”

“My pleasure.  Now, I should tell you: since this is a toxin we’re unfamiliar with, it’s very difficult to estimate how long it’ll take for your mother to be back at full health.  It could be a matter of hours, or it could be a matter of months—we just don’t know.”

“Yes, I understand.”  She glanced at the door.  “Is she still in the operating room?”

“For now.  We want to observe her just a bit longer, to make sure it’s safe to move her.  We’ll let you know as soon as she’s ready to return her to her room.”

“Thank you, again.  Everyone here’s been so wonderful to us; I can’t begin to tell you how much we appreciate all that you’ve done!”

She let the doctor leave and, after one more look back at the operating room door, exited the waiting room at last.  The orange tint of the hall she walked through made her realize the sun was setting, and that it hadn’t been her imagination making her think the procedure had taken a very long time to complete.  Her stomach growled at her.  She paused, looked at the elevator, then turned to the Xtransceiver on her wrist.  After giving it a little more thought, she stepped through the nearest door and out onto an empty balcony.  Lillie poked the device a few times to summon an image of her brother on its screen.

“There you are,” Gladion said.  “I take it the operation ran long?”

“Nice to see you too, brother,” Lillie said.  “Yes, it took them longer than expected—I only just got to speak with the doctor.  But he said they were able to completely remove Nihilego’s toxins!  Mother should be back to her old self soon enough.”

Gladion adjusted his hair.  “Hm.  Well, I’m glad to hear it was a success.  How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.  Um, I did forget to eat dinner, but that’s something I can take care of right away.”

“Then I won’t keep you.  Just…”

She waited to see if he would finish his sentence.  “…Just…what?”

Gladion sighed.  “At the risk of being blunt…it wasn’t the neurotoxin that turned Mother into the person we both had to run from.  Remember that.”

Lillie blinked.  Then she scowled.  “I know that.  But she’s already been getting better since the treatment started.  I told you: she hasn’t said anything about Ultra Beasts, and she’s always asking how the two of us are doing—”

“You also told me she was still awfully controlling.”

“…I know she won’t suddenly change overnight.  But the doctor did say she would recover.”

“’Back to her old self’, as you put it?”

“I…well, that’s…”  She shook her head.  “That’s not important!  After everything that’s happened, surely she knows she can’t continue on like that!”

Gladion looked away.  “Maybe.  I’m not so sure.”

“Gladion—”

“But I’m not asking you to convince me.  I just want to know you’re prepared for the possibility of things turning out less than ideal.”

Lillie took a moment to absorb his words.  “…I understand.  Thank you, Gladion…I’ll try.”

He nodded.  “Alright.  Now go get something to eat.  I’ll talk to you later.”

He ended the call.  Lillie stared at the balcony floor for a while, lost in thought, until her stomach again roared at her.  It was a short walk to the hospital cafeteria, and after finishing her meal, she pulled her diary from her bag and flipped to the first empty page.

Day XX in Kanto Mother’s surgery was today—the big one using Mr. Bill’s program.  It took longer than expected, but it was a complete success!  Now we just need to wait for Mother to get her strength back.  I’m relieved, and very happy to know she’ll be alright.

Her eyes drifted towards her Xtransceiver, and her pen halted for a while.

And, though I don’t want to admit it, I’m also a little scared.  Anything she does after today can’t be blamed on the neurotoxin.  Well, perhaps until her body fully recovers

She stopped and shook her head.

Well, perhaps until her body fully recovers I want to believe she’ll change from the person she’s been these past few years, try to be the mother I remember from when I was young, but I keep needing to remind myself that I can’t make that choice for her.  I thought I already

A yawn caught her off-guard.  She considered heading back to her mother’s room and getting some rest, but reasoned she probably wouldn’t be able to rest much until the doctors were finished observing Lusamine.

I thought I already decided I won’t simply appease her anymore.  It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, so I suppose I’m a bit too eager to picture a future where I don’t have to see it through.  I won’t beat myself up for hoping.  But Gladion’s right: I need to be prepared for anything.

Not much else came to mind.  She doodled a bit, finishing the page with a few messy sketches of Clefairy and Exeggutor and Nebby.  It was a long, long time before she heard from the doctor again.

***

She awoke to find her mother sitting up in her bed, watching something on the television.  After stretching and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she said, “Mother?  How are you feeling?”

Lusamine turned; her gaze was more lucid than it had been in a long time, which Lillie took as proof that the effects of the toxins were wearing off, but she couldn’t quite read her expression.  “Oh, Lillie.  I’m doing much better…though my memory is a bit cloudy on a few things.  What hospital is this again?”

Lillie couldn’t help but relax, hearing her speak so normally.  “It’s St. Joy’s, in Saffron City.”

Lusamine crossed her arms.  “Saffron…I remember you mentioning Kanto, but why Saffron?”

“We needed help from somebody who lives in Cerulean City, but…well, even in that state you insisted on the best accommodations possible…”

“Oh…heh, I suppose that does sound like me.  Thank you for taking such good care of me, dear.”

Lillie smiled.  “Of course.”

Lusamine looked around.  “Is…Gladion here…?”

“He stayed at Aether Paradise, running the Foundation while you were gone.  It sounds like things are going well!  But, he is a bit bored with it.”

“That’s right, I remember now.  Well, I can’t imagine I’ll be here much longer, so…”  She paused, staring at Lillie.  “How long have you been wearing your hair up like that?”

A sinking feeling slowly snaked into Lillie’s heart.  “Um…not particularly long.  I wanted to try something new.”

“You look much more beautiful with it down.  Besides, doesn’t that get in the way of wearing that darling hat I bought you?”

“Well…that’s…”

“Come here.  Let me fix it for you.”

Lusamine reached out.  Lillie pulled back, saying, “No, I…I actually like my hair like this.”

“Nonsense, what you had before was much better.  Let me help you.”

“Mother, please, stop.”

“It’ll only take a moment.”

“Mother!”  Lusamine finally stopped.  Lillie awkwardly held her hand, and said, “I want to keep it this way for now.”

Her expression was starting to look familiar—all too familiar.  “…Fine.  Now, what was I saying…ah, yes.  I’ll call Gladion shortly and let him know we’ll be returning to Alola soon.  Once we do, perhaps the three of us can go on a trip together; wouldn’t that be nice?”

Lillie swallowed hard.  “It…does sound nice, bu—”

“Wonderful!  I’ll have Wicke start making preparations for us.”

“Er, Mothe—”

“Unova is quite nice this time of year.  Oh, but I’ve always wanted to show you Kalos!  Yes, you’ll love it there.”

After one last moment of hesitation, Lillie squeezed Lusamine’s hand.  “Mother, you must listen to me!”

Lusamine stared at her.  Her eyes were wide with shock, confusion…Lillie thought she saw a flash of fear as well.  Much as she didn’t want to say it, she knew it needed to be said.

“…I’m…not going back to Alola with you.”

Silence filled the room.  The seconds seemed to stretch themselves into hours, weeks, years.  Lillie barely moved a muscle—once again, she found, they were all extremely tense.

Tick…tick…tick…

“You don’t mean that,” Lusamine said.

Lillie nodded.  “I do.”

“You can’t!  You can’t just abandon me, not again!”

She knew she’d have to choose her battles.  “I’m not abandoning you.  I’ll stay with you until—”

Lusamine suddenly grabbed her shoulders.  “You have to stay with me always!”

“M…Mother.”

She tried to smile as the fear came to fill her eyes completely.  “I-I got carried away, I know!  I shouldn’t have chased the Ultra Beasts so obsessively!  I’m sorry for the way I treated you, I really, truly am!  Let’s just start over again: I’ll be a better mother, I promise!  We can still be a family!”

Lillie’s heart ached.  Part of her was convinced that this was exactly what she had wanted to hear, that all she had to do was accept and let everything settle back into normalcy.  But only one part.  “I’ve made up my mind: I’m not leaving Kanto until I’ve completed its gym challenge.”

Tears welled in Lusamine’s eyes.  “Wh…what are you talking about?  You hate Pokémon battles!”

“I learned a lot after leaving Aether Paradise.  I’m not the same person I used to be…but, I’m not quite the person I want to be either, not yet.  That’s why I want to challenge the gyms: so that I can keep learning, keep growing!”

“No, you just need to stay the way you were!  You just need to go back to the way you were!”

Lillie’s words caught in her throat.  Squaring her shoulders, she pushed and heaved until she was finally able to spew them out.  “We can’t…just…go back.  We can’t simply pretend none of this happened, Mother.  We have to accept what’s happened, terrible as it all is, and find a way to move forward.  And I…have to find mine on my own.”

Lusamine’s grip tightened.  “Lillie, I can’t lose you!”

Gently as she could, Lillie grabbed her mother’s wrists.  “That’s exactly what will happen if you try to keep such tight hold of me.”

Lusamine didn’t reply.

“I’m not going away forever, Mother.  But I also can’t stay forever.  Please…you have to understand.”

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Lusamine’s grip began to loosen.  When she finally let go, her hands hovered near Lillie for a moment, and then she pulled them back, looked down at the bed, and slumped.  Lillie waited as long as she could bear.

“I know this must be a lot for you to take in.  I’ll give you some time.”

She heard no response as she stood up and left the room.  Lillie walked down the hall, her pace slowing with every step, and prodded her Xtransceiver with trembling fingers.

“Yes?” Gladion answered.  “Did something…Lillie?  What’s wrong?”

Lillie broke down sobbing.

***

Ssshhhh…ssssshhhhh…sssshhh…

Lillie raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sun.  From the bench along the harbor, she could hear the endless sound of the waves and feel the salty, refreshing ocean wind roll over her.  Off in the distance, a shining white luxury liner blew its horn as it drifted on out of sight.  Lillie fished her diary out her bag, turned to the first blank page, and sat back.

Day XX in Kanto

I just saw Mother off.  She was still sad and angry, and made sure we all knew it, but I’m glad that at the very least she’s begun to accept my decision to stay.  It’s a long trip to Alola—Gladion said he’ll need the time to work out how he’s going to persuade Mother to let him leave Aether Paradise.  I hope it won’t be too difficult for him.

A Slowpoke sat at the very edge of the dock, dangling its tail in the water in the hopes something would bite.  Nothing did.

The truth is that I’m sad to see her go.  Isn’t that strange?  All this effort to let go, and I still find myself wanting to look back.  I can’t tell if it’s grief, or love (Mother certainly doesn’t think so), or something else entirely.  It might be a long time before I’m able to know for sure.  I suppose it’s part of accepting the past, rather than simply ignoring it.  But, the past will still be there whenever I am ready to make sense of it—I want to turn my focus to the future.

She sighed.  Her muscles still felt a bit stiff, but they were far more agreeable to movement now.  A school of Poliwag came to the water’s edge, paused to investigate, and then leapt in and began swimming across the harbor, chattering gleefully as they went.

I’m still in Vermillion City right now.  I have a ticket for a voyage of my own, just a short ways west to Pallet Town.  I’ve been in contact with Oak Labs these past few days, and after getting some paperwork settled, they’ve agreed to give me the support I need to start my gym challenge.  In spite of everything, I feel this grand excitement building within me just thinking about it.  It hardly seems real, but by this time tomorrow, I’ll be a real Pokémon Trainer!

Lillie gazed out over the sea.  An electric feeling ran throughout her body; her heart felt impossibly light, like it might carry her up into the sky now that she had shed the weight on her shoulders.  She couldn’t help but smile.

Whatever I run into on my adventure, I know I’ll be able to my Pokémon and I will be able to handle it.  We’ll grow stronger together, and when we’re done here, we’ll head back to Alola to show all of our friends there.  Then, if they’re up for it, I’d love to go on another adventure with Hau, Gladion, and

Another horn rang out, this one much closer.  Lillie looked up to see her ship entering the harbor.  She quickly put away her diary and got to her feet, and then, taking a deep breath, she approached the dock.

“Alola!”

[doobnnoob-tf2]

Question: Who is most likely to get the cleaning job? Boring I know but I just want to know who hate it. ~🦉 (*background* 🟦: Oi!)

hello, Owl Anon.  C:

chores on the base are divided up based on either a daily system or a weekly system.  cooking is determined day-by-day, and I have a slightly more in-depth post about it here!

cleaning chores, on the other hand, are determined on a weekly schedule.  so one person may be in charge of doing laundry all week, cleaning the bathroom, taking out the trash, or what have you for the week.  while larger chores (like said bathroom or kitchen (not dishes, that’s a separate one-person chore!)) are set up as pairs to make it easier.

chores, over time, have also become a currency.  aka, “I’ll do you this favor but you gotta do the laundry this week for me.”

personal chores?  they’re on their own.  their rooms, their things, their spaces, that’s all on them

Scout: he’s constantly trying to pawn off his chores onto everyone else, but it never works.  the irony is he is the one who started the idea of trading chores for favors and yet he’s never once had it work out for him.  too often he’s the one asking everyone else for favors and then griping when they say, “alright but..”

Soldier: no one enjoys being paired up with him.  not because he doesn’t do his chores, or does them poorly.  he’s actually very militant on making sure things are clean!  but if they’re not being done HIS way then they’re not being done right.  and his way is always the most complicated, most difficult way of getting said chore done

Pyro: some of the team enjoys being paired up with them, others don’t.  but that’s because they make a game out of cleaning to get themselves through it.  and while some of the team enjoys how fun it makes the whole process, the others understandably just want to get it over with

Demoman: he likes some chores, but loathes others.  laundry and dishes?  he loves doing!  they’re easy to do and he can just shut his mind off while he does them, have a radio playing, etc.  but most anything else?  he drags his feet a bit.  he’ll do them, and he’ll do them very well because no one wants to live in filth, but he doesn’t enjoy doing them

Heavy: he’s very much a “we will get this done quickly and efficiently and no playing around” type of guy.  he doesn’t love or hate any chore, they’re just what you’re supposed to do.  and he doesn’t have time to play around (sorry, Pyro) or hold it off.  he’ll get it done as soon as he (and the person he’s paired up with for those) can

Engineer: he tried once to make a cleaning robot.  it’s.. a work in progress.  it wound up making more of a mess than actually cleaning anything.  besides that, he’s very attentive with his cleaning.  more so than he needs to be really.  he’ll wind up deep cleaning every night if it wasn’t for the team telling him it’s really not necessary as long as you clean every day

Medic: he is the only one exempt from cleaning duties.  why?  because he, himself, cleans the entire infirmary.  if they want a sterile environment to drag themselves into with open wounds, then they better not be expecting him to also clean up the rest of the base as well

Sniper: he hates chores with a passion.  he’s used to living in a tiny camper that’s quick and easy to clean and he only cleans up after himself.  he will rush through chores like it’s no one’s business if he’s able to.  this usually leaves his chore partner having to go around after him to finish things off but in a way that works out.  he at least takes care of the majority of the mess so all that’s left is for them to spot clean, so win-win?

Spy: he’s a neat freak anyway, so cleaning in itself isn’t a big deal.  it’s cleaning up after everyone else he loathes.  there’s only a couple on the base he doesn’t mind being paired up with when it comes to setting the calendar for the month.  that’s Engineer and Heavy.  he doesn’t like excess noise when he’s in the zone and they’re the only ones that won’t open their mouths the whole time