#|| DM would be a great secretary-

[green-x-reaper]

"Darling, you want to speak to my supervisor? Sure, his name is Ben Dover. His number is 989-" Hangs up.

[theenpcbracket]

THEE Official* TTRPG NPC Bracket!

Every TTRPG party has That One NPC that they’ve latched onto.  It might be an NPC who’s become a member of the party.  It might be a god.  Maybe it’s your wizard’s familiar.  It’s probably that one shopkeeper from that one town with the craziest voice you’ve ever heard come out of the DM’s (or if you’re the DM, your own) mouth.

This bracket is designed to celebrate those NPCs!  Tell the world about why they’re so special to you and your party.  You’ll learn about all the wildest, most wholesome, most villainous, silliest, and everything in-between NPCs out there, and be able to cheer yours along in a Tumblr-typical bracket-style tournament.

All the guidelines for your propaganda can be found on the submission form here!  I have it set so your personal information will not be recorded.  Please only submit NPCs through the submission form so that I can ensure that I have them all and Tumblr didn’t eat any of them.  

EDIT: Submissions will be open through midnight, EST, on 7/5/23 (previously 7/2/23)!  Please spread the word so we can celebrate as many beloved NPCs as possible!

More below the cut for examples of propaganda, inspiration, and tags for other polls!

An example of submitted propaganda may read something like:

Name: Marcy Relationship to the party: The Queen of the Winter Court’s secretary/assistant Party Name: Heel Turn Crew Image: [would be here or as a vs graphic]

What makes them the best: She’s incredible at her job and on top of all her shit, but she’s also deeply a gossip and here for a good time.  She’s not gonna reveal state secrets but she will give you some dirt if she likes you.  Caffeinated to all hell.  She’s less than a foot tall because she’s a pixie but she has the personality and voice to fill a room.  The vibes and energy of a New Jersey mother of four who’s lived in town for thirty years and is not about to let Big PTA get one over on the new kindergarten parents.  Would probably smoke with you if you asked, but not during work hours.  Has at least two exactly identical desks.

Quote: “Listen hon, come back in an hour.  There’s a great coffee place, you go two blocks straight out the door and hang a left.  Have some coffee ‘cause it’s to die for, I don’t know what they do to their dark roast but it’s incredible, then come on back and I’ll get you in there with her.”

The inspiration for this bracket came from @wizardbracket which was very fun!

Edit: there was another blog that was originally an inspiration for this bracket the mystery character bracket op is a wild transphobe so I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole lol. That shit will not be tolerated here and you don’t have to come tell me about it because lord knows they’ve been rather direct about it in their recent posts.

Tagging some other bracket blogs whose audiences are likely to overlap with this tournament.  Please don’t feel like you have to boost!  I just wanted to be sure that if I was going to tag any ongoing brackets, it was because I felt it made sense to do so!

@best-dad-battle @foundfamilyarena @found-family-tournament @foundfamily-tournament @ultimate-tragic-couples-showdown @certified-dumbass-competition @mostpatheticlittleguy @group-oc-tournament @homemadegirlbossbattle @dragon-tournament

[abyssal-ali]

K-drama & C-drama Masterlist

DM or drop an ask about any of these and I’ll happily scream about them with you/ give you recs! (Bolded titles are my top recs.)

Format: [K = Kdrama, C = Cdrama, T = Thai drama] | [Title] | [Genre] | [Year] | [My Impressions in 1-3 sentences, spoilers omitted or redacted] | My Rating |

K | Boys Over Flowers | Drama, Romcom | 2009 | I wish the second lead couple had more screen time, but I did enjoy the leads’ story as well. Actually made me cry, which is a difficult thing to do. Here begins my obsession with Kim Beom. | (9/10)

T | Just You | Business, Romcom | 2013 | Watched over my sister’s shoulder, so I never finished it. The comedy was pretty good. | (7/10?)

K | Record of Youth | Drama, Romance | 2020 | The storyline really tugged at my heartstrings. Very well executed and acted. | (9/10)    

K | Vincenzo | Action, Comedy, Crime, Drama | 2021 | Would and have rewatched; one of my comfort dramas despite being so intense; on my Top 5-Rec List. Absolutely phenomenal, a great mix of comedy and crime; despite not being a romance, the chemistry of the leads was *chef’s kiss*. Mafia and K-drama? Yes, please. Here begins my obsession with Kwak Dongyeon. | (100/10)

C | Love 020 | Business, Drama, Romcom | 2016 | Definitely a comfort drama. Amazing storyline, acting, and chemistry, and mature relationships. Squad Goals. Here begins my obsession with Yang Yang. | (30/10)

K | Law School | Crime, Drama, Mystery | 2021 | A dark, realistic drama with informative explanations so the plot is easy to follow. Good squad and friendships interspersed for lighter moments. | (9/10)

K | What's Wrong with Secretary Kim | Mystery, Romcom, Workplace | 2018 | A funny drama easy to binge. The ML can be a bit egocentric, but he has BackstoryTM so it’s balanced out. Well-rounded secondary/side relationships and cute sister dynamics. | (12/10)

K | My Sassy Girl | Joseon Era, Romcom | 2017 | Funny, cute drama. Typical court intrigue and war crimes shenanigans. | (9/10)

K | Strong Woman Do Bong Soon | Crime, Drama, Fantasy, Romcom, Sci-fi, Workplace | 2017 | An excellent drama with accurately portrayed relationships and character development. The leads are so cute and fluffy I genuinely forgot the crime subplot when I rec’d this to my friend who can’t watch anything dark. Squad (minion?) goals. | (20/10)

K | Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo | Romcom | 2016 | Everyone loves this one, but it just isn’t my favourite. Extra points because I watched this with my sisters during Q*arant*ne and we bonded. | (9/10)

K | Her Private Life | Romcom, Workplace | 2019 | Excellent, amazing, I loved this one. A supporting character was a bit annoying but was also a great SC, so overall good friend vibes. Humorous scenes served. | (10/10)

K | Hotel del Luna | Action, Drama, Fantasy, Horror, Mystery, Romcom, Workplace | Queen slayed (literally). Excellent character development, side stories (cute second lead couple), and backstory flashbacks. Tragic romance; I cried so hard at the end. | (10/10)

C | Truth or Dare | Historical, Romcom | Shenanigans galore, great lead couples, interesting plot. | (9/10)

K | I’m Not A Robot | Sci-fi, Romcom | CEO with the BackstoryTM. Great relationships, character development, and plot. Cute side couples and leads. | (10/10)

K | Hwarang: the Beginning | Action, Drama, Historical, Romcom | Excellent plot and character development; SQUAD GOALS. One issue: MML says to FML “I never want to see you cry” or something along those lines and MFL proceeds to cry almost every episode. Wooga Squad unite! | (9/10)

K | Descendants of the Sun | Action, Drama, Romcom, Workplace(?) | 2016 | Excellent: plot, relationships, characters, romance, comedy, squad...Thoroughly dislike Antagonist. | (10/10)

K | My Secret Romance | Romcom, Workplace | 2017 | DNF about halfway through. Couldn’t get into it. | (1/10) 

K | True Beauty | Drama, Romcom | 2020 | Amazing, outstanding, never-before-seen...Great character dynamics and development, comedy, relationships. Here begins my obsession with Hwang In-yeop. | (15/10)

K | Tale of the Nine Tailed | Fantasy, History, Horror, Romance | Excellent relationships berween leads, they communicate!!! Fascinating plot (I finished in 2 days), amazing side characters and relationships with the leads, and interesting facts and myths were expounded on. Lee Rang my LOVE I will fight the red flag allegations with my dying breath. | (10/10)

C | Cute Programmer | Drama, Romcom, Workplace | 2021 | Women in STEM, need I say more? Squad goals. | (10/10)

K | Vampire Detective | Crime, Fantasy | Some parts were a bit confusing to me, but overall an underrated drama. Great friendships and intriguing backstory. | 2016 | (9/10)

K | High Society | Drama, Romance | 2015 | Typical early 00′s chaebol kdrama, but interesting. Nice character development. | (8/10)

C | Intense Love | Drama, Romcom | 2020 | Cute couple and good relationships. The side relationships & romance were cute too. | (8/10) 

K | Doom at Your Service | Drama, Fantasy, Romance | 2021 | I do love me a man who would burn the world for his woman (literally). Amazing relationship growth and character development. I definitely Did Not Cry (lies). | (10/10)

K | The King: Eternal Monarch | Fantasy, Mystery, Romance | 2020 | Just-just watch it. Amazing squad, relationships, plot, chemistry, bromance, comedy, etc. Why are you still reading? Watch it! | (50/10)

C |  You are my Glory | Drama, Romcom | 2021 | Character growth we love to see it. Adorable, mature couple. | (10/10)

K | Business Proposal | Business, Romcom, Workplace | 2022 | All the hype is right. Fluffy romance with two couples with loads of humour and a sprinkle of BackstoryTM. Have rewatched. | (20/10)

K | Mr Queen | Fantasy, Romcom | 2020 | Fellas, is it gay if you fall in love with your arranged bride who’s [REDACTED] and is desperately trying to avoid you but also kind of falls in love with you? Asking for a friend. Side characters and plot are excellent as well. | (10/10)

K | Shopping King Louie | Romcom | 2016 | Surprisingly good characters and plot. Character growth in spades and a cute, complementary couple. Nice friends & side characters. | (10/10)

K | Ghost Doctor | Fantasy, Romcom | 2022 | Laugh-out-loud hilarious with excellent plot and character growth scenes sprinkled throughout. Could have used a dash more of the romance in my opinion, but overall a very good drama I would recommend. | (9/10)

K | Goblin | Drama, Fantasy, Romcom | 2016 | Iconic; a must-watch. Humour and angst interwoven with touching characters to create an outstanding plot. Several plot twists had me surprised, and I must say I’m happily surprised that the ending of Goblin is not more talked about, so late-comers to the party like me don’t have the experience ruined. | (100/10)

K | Legend of the Blue Sea | Drama, Fantasy, Romcom | 2016 | The Vibes were Immaculate; an excellent comfort drama. Squad goals and an intriguing plot | (30/10)

K | Tomorrow | Action, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy | 2022 | This was amazing: the characterizations, the relationships, the backstory, the plots for each episode...I did gain anger issues from it though, so tread carefully. | (10/10 but gave me anger issues)

K | Sound of Magic | Drama, Fantasy, Musical | 2022 | I was not expecting this to be a mmusical and admit to skipping some songs. The plot was hooking but not for me. I appreciate the themes conveyed and the platonic friendships cultivated (also my boy finally gets a girl:sob:) | (8/10)

K | So I Married my Antifan | Romcom, Music | 2021 | Funny, cute, and a mature couple(-ish). The side ships were also nice to see. | (10/10)

K | Scholar Who Walks the Night | Action, Fantasy, Historical, Romance | 2015 | This drama made me think. Large helping of intrigue; I was waiting for the villain’s backstory and was surprised at the result. Excellent ending. (Why did Lee Soo Hyuk need to be shirtless in almost all his scenes?) | (10/10)

K | My ID is Gangnam Beauty | Romcom | 2018 | Cute, mature couple with good relationship dynamics everywhere, appropriate themes. I would have appreciated more 2nd/3rd lead romances. | (9/10)

K | W: Two Worlds | Action, Drama, Fantasy, Romcom, Thriller | 2016 | A little bit of everything, and a very captivating storyline. Great chemistry and a cute, mature couple. Am rewatching. | (10/10) 

K | It's Okay not to be Okay | Drama, Romcom | 2020 | Interesting storyline, nice character arcs, character growth. Good representation of people with mental and emotional issues. | (7/10)

K | Gaus Electronics | Comedy, Workplace | 2022 | Good character development, relationships, and individual stories. Many laugh-out-loud moments. | (10/10) 

K | Little Women | Action, Drama, Mystery, Thriller | 2022 | Hooking storyline/plot, nice relationships, quite intrigue and plot twist-y; the latter half of the drama really made me think. Excellent, but was so highly stressful I watched all 12 episodes in one day. I still want a slightly longer ending. | (10/10)

K | Happiness | Action, Fantasy, Horror, Thriller | 2021 | Interesting, great power couple that are so cute and mature (couple goals tbh). A shocking amount of murder [REDACTED], but a happy ending. | (9/10)

K | Extraordinary Attorney Woo | Drama, Legal, Workplace | 2022 | Very well done, with good character growth and plot twists/surprises. (WARNING TO FELLOW SINGLE PRINGLES: You will feel even lonelier.) I want someone to look at me like Junho looks at YoungwooT-T I can't wait for season 2! | (10/10)

C | Who Rules the World | Action, Drama, Fantasy, Historical, Romance | 2022 | Excellent character/relationship growth and conflict resolution; the MLs have a cute, mature relationship & friendships. Intrigue and manipulations galore, but there is a... satisfactory ending. | (10/10)

K | Sh**ting Stars | Drama, Romcom, Workplace | 2022 | Funny, with a nice plot that wasn’t too stressful.  Good relationships and MATURE CHARACTERS who don't have trust issues my beloved; everybody gets a happy ending. | (10/10) 

K | Healer | Action, Crime, Drama, Romcom, Thriller | 2014 | Amazing drama;  nice OST; Seo Junghoo is very relatable; there are great character dynamics (THE CUTEST couple after SWDBS), the leads communicate and trust each other! | (100/10)

K | Suspicious Partner | Crime, Drama, Romcom, Thriller | 2017 | Nice storylines with some plot twists and lots of comedic moments and character growth. Squad goals. | (10/10) 

K | The K2 | Drama, Romance, Thriller | 2016 | Very good/nuanced character growth/portrayal, with a cute romance to balance out all the action and sTreSs📈 Maybe not a happy but a satisfactory ending. Honestly, I found the characters to be deeply lonely and unhappy, despite being so rich and successful; all-in-all a thought-provoking drama. | (20/10)

(I had to take a hiatus from dramas as 3 dramas with Ji Chang-Wook right after each other was too much for me and I was depressed & single LOL. A word of advice to my kdrama girlies, ration out your JCW.)

K | Soundtrack #1 | Drama, Music, Romance | 2022 | Short and sweet; cute friendship, cute couple with a happy ending. We stan Eunsoo's mom shipping them. Got me back into dramas after ^ | (10/10)

K | Bad and Crazy | Action, Crime, Drama, Fantasy, Mystery, Romcom, Thriller | 2022 | My 50th drama!  A funny, dramatic, interesting plot line, (not quite sure       that's [REDACTED] but ok, I guess that’s where the fantasy comes in), with a hint of romance and a good supporting cast. | (9/10)

K | Reborn Rich | Drama, Fantasy, Isekai, Romance(?) | 2022 | Unpleasant but well-acted characters and an interesting plot with a good cast create a thought-provoking and intriguing drama. Similar to K2 in that you can't trust anybody; they'll betray you in a second for a penny, even your own family | (9/10)

K | Legally Dad | Drama, Romance | 2020 | Short and sweet. Adorable kid (not active sidekick unfortunately) | (9/10)

K | Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 | Historical, Horror, Romance, Fantasy | 2023 | Would rewatch in a minute.They're so unserious😭 Great acting, fascinating plot and characters, fun backstory, and plenty of chaotic gumiho crack to carry through the darker moments. Over all a cute, humorous drama. | (1000/10)

K | Abyss | Crime, Fantasy, Romance | 2019 | A mature couple, a happy ending, an intriguing plot, and character development, what more do you need?. More legal/murder mystery-ish & less sci-fi-y than expect but good overall. | (8/10)

[slayin-shaymin]

Okay! Intro post. I’ve been trying to sell my pushes for a while and one of my friends said I should give Tumblr a shot, so here goes.

My name’s Lilac, 19. He/they pronouns. Santalune City, Kalos. I keep grass types, sell stuffed animals, and pull shifts at the local research center to pay the bills. (Nothing special, it’s a secretarial position.) If you want to buy anything handmade, my DMs are open. My Etsy keeps getting shut down for some reason.

As for my Pokémon, I’ll probably mention them a bit, so here’s a list that I’ll update as needed.

Harry is my Servine. I’ve had him since I was really little, and he evolved about a year ago. I still forget he’s not a Snivy anymore sometimes.

Elle is my ivysaur. My parents got her for me as my starter when I was 11, even though I told them I didn’t want to grow up to be a Pokémon master or whatever-the-fuck it’s called. She’s great though.

My ex (may he die in turmoil) got me a Roselia as a “romantic” gift we could raise together. Personally I think not cheating on me would have been more romantic, but whatever. His name is Spud (My ex’s idea, not mine) and I kept him in the breakup because I was the only one caring for him anyway.

The last tenant of my apartment left their three Cherrim here, so I’ve got those too now. They don’t respond to anything so I just refer to them as “the cherrim.”

And finally there’s a shaymin in the woods near my house. It’s not really mine, but sometimes when I’m sitting out there sewing or crocheting it will come up and watch me. It always curls up in a ball when I look at it, but I’ve started bringing out treats for the guy when I’m out there.

Update: 7.2.2023

There is a Mimikyu in my apartment. I was hand sewing a plush Mimikyu in Lavender Town when my project got stolen. About a month later it (the project) was on my doorstep with what I assume is a Mimikyu inside. It hangs out in the corner of my vision, and I don’t think I really get to name it but I’ve been calling it Mimi for short.

My trainer friend caught an Eevee that she says doesn’t like battling, and she gave them to me because “it can be a grass type” and I like those. Their name is Gremlin.

[aphroditedahlias]

Yandere gojo x reader 18+

Mdni

Reader is female.

Tw // abuse of power, non con

Join my taglist

- Yandere ! gojo who makes you think he’s a kind soul, forgiving your every mistake as his new secretary.

- Yandere! Gojo who gives you easier tasks and sneers at anyone you complins you’re being favored.

- Yandere ! Gojo who lets you know it’s ok to get a little unprofessional with your boss. He’s cool like that, don’t worry about it!

- Yandere ! gojo who starts getting a little too touchy.

- Yandere gojo who threatens to get you blacklisted so you’re unable to get a job in the country.

- Yandere! Gojo who tells you if you sit pretty in his lap like his own personal puppy he won’t do that to you. He’ll even give you a complimentary forever stay at his house!

- No? You know he would never force you to do anything, he’ll just buy the building you live in and have it renovated so you have to fine another place to stay.

- No hotels will take you? Well… you could of course just stay with your boss like he suggested in the first place?

- Yes? Great! He’ll take you’re luggage and get you situated in your room.

- Don’t mind the noise of his balls slapping against his thighs as he screams your name at night while looking at videos of you bending over in that tight skirt of yours at the office.

- He’s pent up, you’ve been taunting him for so long he needs more than just videos.

- You wouldnt mind if he just slid in your room and lifted your shirt over your chest so he could cream all over those perfect tits then right? It’s your fault you made him like this. Now you have to deal with it.

- “ f-fûck just let me, shit yeah good girl, sound and sleep let your boss take care of himself”

- Damn you’re awake. He’ll just have to shove his cock down your throat to muffle the screams he knows no one would hear either way.

Bite his dick and he’ll stretch your raw ass open. Mouth wide, no teeth. Good girl.

——————————————————————————

The next day he’s gone early for work. He doesn’t try to drive you there, he doesn’t give you directions to your job and you can’t find your phone.

You try opening the front door bht but it’s jammed. With a loud scream you run to find the largest thing in the room, attempting to break the door bib and break free.

After hours banging, kicking and screaming you decide it’s enough a dm retreat back to your room.

The floor you’re on is too high uo to jump, there’s no one you can contact. You’re stuck.

The stress of it all has you passed out in bed but you wake up with a searing knot in your stomach.

You feel yourself bent into a mating press and you blink open your eyes to gojo with his eyes rolled back, as he’s grunting and pounding into you with force. You squirm in his arms trying to get away but his eyes snap back to normal and smirks at your horrified expression.

“You enjoy your day? Sorry-hmmfg s-shit” he cuts himself off with a moan, pounding harder into you after feeling you contract around him.

You want to scream and fight but when his thumb hits your clit you’re quick to cream all over him, leaving your white Residue at the base of cock.

“ g-gojo please” you choke out as a whisper.

Your head feels dizzy and your vision is blurry. The only thing you can slur out is his name along with a pathetic pleading for him to slow down.

He watches your head lol to the side, your eyes roll back, mimicking the expression you caught when you first awoke. Your legs start to shake and he leans down to nibble at your bouncing tits.

He slaps the underside of your thigh jolting you out of your limp state of pleasure.

“ don’t pass out on me now, need you to beg me to fill you up.” He moans.

You fight the urge to black out but after a few minutes of your sore puffy cunt gushing over him you head hits the pillows and he feels the dead weight of your calf’s on his arms.

He slaps your face lightly and grips your cheeks telling you to wake up but you can’t manage to open your eyes.

The worst part is, he’s not going to stop. And your limp body can feel everything he’s doing to you.

——————————————————————————

Don’t steal my shit just give credit.

Reblogs are always welcome 💚💜

Please leave constructive criticism.

Join my taglist

[maskedtruths666]

New series I’ve been wanting to write for a while now. It’s gonna be an interesting one with a few parts to it. Hope you guys like it. Obviously, everyone knows their real names and IG but I will be using a fictitious name instead. DM me your thoughts!

Trophy Wife Part 1

Caylin, is Jack’s first love. They’ve been together for the longest time and they’ve been through thick and thin. Coming from a small town in Malaysia, they’ve never had the chance to explore the world. But things changed when they both got a job offer to work in Singapore. Caylin, a marketing executive got offered a permanent job with great benefits over in Singapore and Jack was offered a position as a trader in a financial firm over in Singapore too. Both were overjoyed as they could be together and start earning money in Singapore.

As a couple, they were each other’s first love and both had taken each other’s firsts. First hug, first kiss, first fuck. Everyone knew it was a matter of time before they got married. Both attended the same school, had the same clique, they were literally inseparable. They both even shared an apartment in Singapore when they eventually moved.

Months have passed since they moved to Singapore and their quality of life has never been better. Caylin was happy at her job and earning well. Jack was raking in the money as a trader and getting a hefty commission whilst doing so. It wasn’t long before Jack got promoted and with his promotion came a shit ton more money and status. He had his own office, his own secretary and his own team of traders under him. Raking in a cool mil a year in annual salary excluding bonuses was enough for him to secretly start planning for a wedding.

Jack started spoiling Caylin with more luxurious clothes and jewelry and they’ve both never been happier. Soon, Jack caught the eye of upper management because of his stellar track record and was invited to an annual dinner and dance. He made sure to pamper Caylin and bought her a stunning dress that showed her figure.

At dinner that night, it wasn’t the food or drinks that stole the show but Caylin. All heads turned when she walked past them and when Jack introduced her to his colleagues and bosses, the sentiment was the same. All the guys could not keep their eyes off her and all the girls hated her, except one girl, Karina. Karina was Jack’s direct rival in the company. Both had an intense rivalry and have a stellar track record. Both were identical in terms of money earned and on paper, both were indispensable.

“Woah dude, you’ve outdone yourself. Your girl is mad hot. Is she a trophy girl?” Jeremy asked.

“What? No dude. I’ve been with her for the longest time. We’ve been together since 10 years ago man. Why would I ever want a trophy girl?” Jack asked, puzzled at Jeremy’s question.

“Well, in the finance world, materialism is how we get more clients and stuff. So I figured you hired an escort to be your partner. It’s not like you tell us much about yourself.” Jeremy explained.

“Oh no dude. She’s mine. Legit.” Jack said, laughing it off.

Throughout the night, many guys kept texting Jack to ask if she’s an escort or a trophy girl, much to his annoyance. When he saw Francis animatedly chatting with Caylin, he felt an emotion he never felt before. Jealousy. With a poker face on, he approached the pair of them to assert his dominance over his girl. He put his arms around her waist and joined the conversation.

Pleasantly surprised by Jack’s action, Caylin whispered in his ear, “I like it when you’re jealous. Shows me you still care after 10 years and you’re not bored of me. Everyone’s been telling me about you and Karina and that has made me want you even more.”

“Follow me.” Jack said, keeping a poker face and he held Caylin’s hand and brought her out of the room. He hurriedly brought her to to toilet only to find the handicapped toilet in use.

“Oooh, someone wants me bad huh?” Caylin whispered as she reached down to caress his bulge.

“Yes. I want you now.” Jack growled, unable to control his lust. He saw a door leading to the staircase and he hastened his pace there. As he was leaving, Karina came out of the handicapped toilet and saw Jack bringing his girl away. She decided to follow them, curious to see what would happen.

The moment they entered the staircase, Jack pushed Caylin against the wall and started making out with her. Whilst making out, he had one finger in her already wet pussy. Upon discovering she was not wearing any underwear, he turned her around and bent her over the railing. With one hand covering her mouth to muffle any moans, his rock hard throbbing dick penetrated her from the back.

Karina at this moment, quickly went up one floor, entered the floor above them and quietly peeked from above. As she saw Jack ravaging Caylin from the back, she couldn’t help but want Jack to pummel her from the back too. Despite their rivalry, she’s always fantasized about being fucked hard by her rival at work and it so happens to be Jack. Whilst Jack was intensely fucking Caylin, Karina started finger herself, it was easy access as she was wearing a G-string and a rather low cut dress. With two fingers furiously rubbing her wet pussy, her other hand carefully covering her mouth to prevent her moans from escaping.

As Jack was pounding Caylin from the back, all he could think of were the guys who wanted to do this to his girlfriend. That gave him some sort of a sick fetish and his innocent love for her slowly turned into an obsession and power play sort of feeling. Sure he did love her still but something sick awoken in him.

As he continually penetrated her from the back, Caylin experienced many orgasms as she felt passion and lust and jealousy from Jack. Something that she has not felt for a long time and she loved it. As Jack was nearing his climax, Caylin dutifully knelt down like she always did and in that moment, Karina saw how big Jack’s dick is and her lust increased twofold.

As Caylin was sucking Jack off, she was careful to not get any saliva on her face as her make up was beautifully done. Soon, Jack exploded in her mouth and given the intensity of the quickie they had, it was a rather large load. Unable to swallow in time, a few drops of cum dropped from her mouth onto her dress. As always, Jack would finish off a sex session with a deep kiss with Caylin and once they were done, Caylin quickly made her exit to head to the washroom to freshen up.

“I’ll wait for you outside the toilet my dear. See you in a bit.” Jack said.

Just as Jack was about to exit the staircase, Karina made her entrance and said, “I saw what you did and you’ve made me horny. I want you inside me.”

Stunned, Jack could only stare at Karina. Sure, she is hot but he’s never thought about anyone else sexually because he only has eyes for Caylin. After all, in his eyes, she’s way prettier than anyone else.

Smiling seductively, Karina approached Jack quickly, pushed him against the wall. With one hand pulling his head backwards, she went straight for his neck and started giving him a love bite. Her other hand, reached down into his pants and started stroking his dick with her satin gloves.

Jack allowed himself to feel pleasure longer than he should have and quickly pushed Karina away. He left hurriedly but not before he heard Karina say, “You know you want me.”

He quickly went to the toilet to wash up and as he exited, he saw Caylin and Karina chatting happily. Being the observant girl she is, Caylin noticed a red mark on his neck and immediately asked, “Oh baby, did you start scratching yourself again or are your allergies acting up?”

“Oh I’m not sure baby. I think it’s a bite or something. It’s nothing. Don’t worry.” Jack said, trying to keep his composure.

As they re-entered the dining hall, Karina bade goodbye to Caylin and as she was leaving, she quickly grabbed Jack’s ass when Caylin wasn’t looking.

Part 2 coming soon

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Typical Stark

Request: Enemies to lovers prompt for Tony Stark by @agustdowney​ Hope you like this one babe ;))

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, sass, fluff.

Word count: 1400ish oops?!

Fall Prompts Masterlist

Tony Stark Taglist - @raspberrymama​  @ladyeliot​ @boop-le-snoot​ @make-a-memory-drink-it-up​ @loveisallyouneed1125​  @ownsmyheart​ @anthonyjanthony666​ @downeyreads​

Everything Taglist – @godofplumsandthunder​  @ladyacrasia​ @agustdowney​ @swaggysposts​ @littlegasps​ @little-baby-vixen​  @another-stark-sub​ @supraveng​ @kahlanmars​ @marvelgirl7​ @disappointmentofthefam​  @pandaxnienke​ @tom-hlover​ @just-the-hiddles​  @fyreball66 @asmigurub​

Tags are open! Send in an ask or DM if you wish to be in any of the taglists ;))

…

“Would you hurry up?” you whispered, looking around the room to make sure the guards hadn’t returned, gun at the ready in your vest, just in case.

“Why? You got a hot date?” Tony asked, not really wanting to know the answer, just a natural retort that escaped while his fingers flew over the keyboard in front of him as he retrieved data from the computer and backed it up on his drive.

“Even if I did I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Aww why? You know how interested I am in your sex life.” His snarky comeback making you clench your fists to stop yourself from slapping that smirk off of his face.

“Would you just—why don’t you hurry up so we can be on our separate ways? I have no intentions of fighting with you.” you huffed, not missing Tony’s shrug.

Why did Rogers send the two of you for this mission? Sure you were in an unknown city, which Tony just ‘happened’ to be in. The man could have handled it all by himself with all the gadgets he kept boasting about, but no, the Captain seemed to have sensed the hostility between the two of you and wanted the dynamic to be more amicable. Somewhere deep down you wanted the same, but given how he got your goat on every occasion, it was hard to say the least.

“All done Miss (Y/L/N). Let’s get outta here.” Tony spun around to face you, waiting for you to take the lead, you were covering for him today after all.

The guards were easy to dodge but apparently one of the cameras wasn’t, and Stark got in its range of vision, triggering the alarm and alerting the entire building. It didn’t take long for heavy footsteps to sound through the floors as heavily armed men ran in search of the imposters.

“Goddamn it Stark! We had this.” You cursed, running up the fire exit towards the rooftop hoping for a quick escape as Tony tailed behind, already winded from the climb.

Your eyes scanned the surroundings for a place to hide, at least jump into while Tony typed something on his watch. Six men burst through the doors and fired in your direction as you dodged every bullet before firing from your own shotgun, bringing two of them down successfully as your bullet hit them in their kneecaps. A few moments later, a swooshing sound pierced the air as you saw Tony’s Mark XIV flew down and enveloped Tony’s form in a fashion that temporarily managed to halt the ongoing combat.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a fucking suit?” you yelled as he blasted the remainder of men with his repulsors before walking over to you and taking off the ground, leaving you to grab onto his neck over the armor like a rescued ‘damsel’. You kept yelling and he kept ignoring and in turn, neither of you noticed a man firing a small device onto the suit with precision that stuck on just in time before the building went out of sight.

“I think we’re about to crash –” you managed to scream before Tony’s suit gave out and sent the two of you plummeting down towards the gravel covered road. He somehow maneuvered the fall so that he landed on his back and held you tightly against him, protecting you as the impact made the suit fall apart in pieces around him while you screamed before the hit knocked the wind from your chest.

.

Your eyes opened gingerly, unsure if you two had made it alive before Tony’s rapidly rising and falling chest reaffirmed you that you had. His grip on you hadn’t budged, the metal embrace now replaced with a shirt covered one.

“Tony?”

“Yeah all good. Are you hurt?” His voice came out muffled due to the still intact faceplate as you managed to roll off of him, Tony glanced at his watch that was smashed to pieces before removing the plate manually, revealing a bloody nose and a cut to his forehead.

Your ribs smarted as you stood up dusting the dirt off your clothes, your gun missing and arms sporting small cuts and bruises. Once the initial shock wore off, your anger resurfaced and began storming away from Tony while he was too busy getting his bearings to notice.

“Hey! What about my suit? It’s offline..I-I need to get it-” he called out but you cut him off after turning around fuming.

“That’s your lookout Stark. You didn’t even think to tell me you had a suit on standby. This whole fucking operation was a waste of my time. You could’ve just done it all by yourself but no here you are behaving like a typical Stark.”

You muttered the rest of the walk, not caring if Tony was actually listening, which of course he was, he hadn’t seen such a strong reaction from you ever. A part of him was amused but most of him was afraid so he decided to follow quietly. Looking back every so often to make sure no one was on their tail.

“Um..Where are we going?” Tony tried after a few breaths when your rage-filled stomping was replaced with a brisk walk.

Silence.

You came across an empty woodshed shortly after, that would have to suffice by the time you called for backup. Making yourself comfortable in a dusty corner after sending your location details to Natasha you glanced sideways to see what your ‘teammate’ was up to.

Tony was pacing about fidgeting and muttering something to himself just outside the woodshed.

“Would it kill you to sit still for a moment?”

“Oh we’re speaking now?”

“Never mind.”

Rolling your eyes, you slammed your head back to the wall of the shed with too much force as it resulted in tears springing into your eyes. Clenching them shut you prayed the team would extract you as quickly as possible because it was starting to get dark outside.

“I’m sorry (Y/L/N)” Tony whispered, his voice meek enough for anyone to miss but thanks to your super sharp hearing, you caught the unexpected apology.

“Definitely hearing things.” You muttered, eyes still closed.

“I just—I said I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have put you in unnecessary danger. I fucked up.”

“I’m very much capable of defending myself against any danger Stark. What you should have done is taken care of this operation all by yourself since you had your fancy toys.”

“I always have backup in any operat—“

“Then why the fuck was I called for this mission?” You yelled, finally looking at the man who looked like he’d just been scolded, eyes cast downward, shoulders sagged and mouth opening and closing without any actual words coming out.

“I insisted you accompany me today. I—I’ve always admired your combat skills, you’re quite a remarkable woman.” Tony’s admission left you speechless, you hadn’t expected this answer at all.

“You’ve ‘admired’ my combat skills?”

“That’s what I said.” Tony muttered, avoiding eye contact.

You didn’t know if it was the exhaustion finally setting in or the situation but you laughed, shaking your head at a realization unknown to present company.

Typical Stark

“You really have a thing for women in power don’t you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“Why else would you hire Natasha as your hot-shot secretary all those years ago? Insist I accompany you today? Why are you with the great Pepper Potts then!”

That little disdain in your voice over the last one wasn’t unnoticed by Tony.

“Well you’re right about the first two.”

“What?”

“Pepper and I aren’t together.” Tony stated, matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why, she got tired of having a relationship with Dum-E instead of you?” You regretted saying this the minute it left your lips because Tony’s eyes met yours with a look of heartbreak that had you internally curse yourself.

“Bingo.”

“I—I’m sorry Tony, that was unnecessary. I didn’t mean to—”

He dismissed you with a wave of his hand, resuming his pacing as the silence stretched longer. 

“Well if you ever need to talk, or a drinking buddy.”

You waved your hand towards him offering him a small smile in hopes that he’d consider your attempts of making nice.

He chuckled giving you a curt nod, still a little embarrassed about his confession, but internally deciding which bottle of whiskey to crack open later today at the tower if you’d join.

Typical Stark.

I have a fluffy smutty Part 2 in mind already!

[torilovestowrite]

Glow Like That (Armin Arlert SMAU)

title: glow like that

pairing: ceo! armin arlert x reader

synopsis: when they were in high school, y/n used to bully armin for being a ‘nerd’ who snitched around students and caused them trouble. six years later, she manages to get a job as the ceo’s secretary in arlert corporation— one of the most huge publishing companies around eldia. little did she know that armin arlert, the kid she bullied back in high school, is the company’s ceo.

content warning: slightly suggestive themes, fluff, romance (minors! dni!)

masterlist || general masterlist || prev

v. high school memories

“damn, i’ve never been so tired.” you sighed as you finished compiling the reports from different departments of the company. you stretched both of your arms, letting out a loud yawn and stretching your joints.

two months since the scouts magazine pictorial happened and three months since she started working inside the corporation as a secretary. the work was tough, especially you’re the one in charge of creating reports and presentations that would be shown to the board members; and it’s all on you— the way you perform under armin’s supervision will reflect on how they see and respect him as the company ceo. so far, your performance was great. in fact, a week ago, you’ve been chosen as the company’s employee of the month.

of course, you know yourself that you wouldn’t have done a good job if it wasn’t for armin and rico’s help. she has been assisting you into doing your work and on the other hand, your boss, has been patient towards you as a co-worker. you could still remember how happy he was when you were voted by your other colleagues as the employee of the month. he made the same face when he heard that you aced the math and science exams— the subjects where he was tasked to teach you few years ago.

“you deserve this, y/n.” he spoke in a happy manner. “you’ve been working so hard.”

“yes!” you replied cheerfully, accepting his recognition.

right now, all you want to do after work is to eat dinner. after you’ve left your workplace, you decided to go home and treat yourself with some take out food. after all, you felt so worn out after working.

after talking to some friends while eating dinner and resting, you decided to clean your home. as you were thoroughly cleaning the book shelves, one of the albums fell down— your high school album which displayed your old pictures; some were taken with your friends: pieck, bertolt, reiner, and pock. other pictures were taken with your cheerleading squad— but one polaroid picture caught your eye; it was your picture with armin. his hands were wrapped around your shoulder while you were wearing a huge smile and holding up a peace sign. both of you were cute friends back then— but what did he do that made you bully him? what did he do that you had to make his life hell during high school?

back then, armin was the student council president. he was almost labeled as a ‘teacher’s pet’ but the truth is, they just liked him. he was called the school’s “trophy” after all— being a total genius that he is. and you, a cheerleader who was flunking out of school was tutored by him so you could redeem yourself.

that time, armin actually confessed to you. but you were dating someone else— the school’s jock; floch forster, so you had to decline. few weeks later, he mysteriously got kicked out of the school— not even you knowing why. rumor has it that student council has to do with it. and so, you bullied armin nonstop— making terrible pranks on him, tearing his notes, calling him names on the internet... but he said nothing. the truth is, you want him to spill the reason why floch was dropped by the school administration.

in the end, you got nothing. it wasn’t worth the time either because two weeks later, floch cheated on you for another girl that he met in his new school— and when people heard about it, they began throwing shit on you— basically, bully you like what you did to armin. you said nothing though; after everything you’ve done to armin, you’re not in the position to ask anyone for forgiveness.

well... armin, he tried to help you. but you were so prideful that you pushed him away by simply being awful towards him.

“aren’t you happy now, armin?! i lost my team and most of the school think that i’m stupid for fighting for floch! it’s all because of you!”

you were crying when he approached you in the locker rooms. in an attempt to comfort you, he gave you a handkerchief to stop your laments— but you blamed him for your sadness.

you looked up to see his obviously hurt face as he walked away from your curled up physique; your eyes were red from crying.

extra:

armin and y/n became friends while they were tutoring. it was the first time she aced her subjects.

he actually liked how thoughtful y/n was and her eagerness to learn despite her grades flunking out.

y/n liked armin back but she thought that she’s just inlove with the fact that he’s giving her attention that floch rarely gives her.

armin graduated as the batch valedictorian— which is why he was asked to give the welcome speech for the high school reunion.

the reiss family has a lot of properties in eldia. historia and her older sister, frieda reiss are the ones supervising most of their properties.

next

taglist [dms + askbox + replies are open!]: @purplelittlecow @healpeony @lazalee @chawyn @spamhanjispet @newestro @taybird @xbarrjallenx @fahm4085 @captainstarnoir @dreamsdemxn @leetucethesauce @mukeovernetflix @smooljeyi

[kimvvantae]

puzzle; 7 (m)

➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, a little bit of violence

rating: 18+

word count: 12k

A/N: sweet jesus it’s been so long but it’s finally here! this is the last but one chapter of the series. i genuinely hope you guys enjoy it and i reeeeally want to know your thoughts on it! feel free to leave a comment! if you feel i’m deserving of it lmao

enjoy!

➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

[bby bear]: where are you???

[bby bear]: you'll get late for class 

[you]: i knoww

[you]: the traffic is so heavy today 🤦🤦

[bby bear]: you should have come w me 

[you]: i need to go to the bank

[you]: i told you

[bby bear]: i could have taken u theer

[bby bear]: there

[you]: 🥺🥺 next time i'll go w you i promise!!

[you]: but i'm close

[you]: i'll probably lose the first period tho

[bby bear]: 🤦

You shove the phone inside of your pocket when you notice the pedestrian sign is finally green. The crowd on both sides of the avenue rush, everyone on their fast pace as usual. You're even forced to push some people in order to walk by.

Getting to the other side of the street, you stop in front of the building.

Tall as fuck. That cool kind of building with mirrors all over it, where only cool people wearing cool suits walking around holding cups of coffee on one hand and phones on the other hand talking business language kind of people work at. 

You certainly don't work here. You definitely don't have any stuff to do here. You surely are not close to the campus and you will lose much more than just the first period.

Seulgi will most definitely punch your face when she finds out where you are and what you're about to do.

You confidently walk inside the building, pushing through its glass doors into the pristine, modern and gigantic main hall. Your black boots contrast with the high heels all the other women wear around you. So does the rest of your outfit. Mini skirts and oversized hoodies are not part of the dress code here. You can almost hear their minds asking, what is this person doing here? The clanck clanck sound of their heels clicking against the marble floor is somehow pleasing, though.

You stop in front of the reception counter. A pretty girl opens a crystal white smile to you. Her hair is tied tightly, her uniform was ironed to perfection. "Good morning. How can I help you?" She chirps happily. 

"Good morning. My name is Y/N. I'd like to talk to Irene."

The smile quickly falters.

The girl side eyes her colleague that sits by her side. "Hmm… unfortunately, Miss Irene does not receive visits," she says carefully, still trying to keep her smile. "You must be mistaken."

You can see this girl thinks you're crazy. You quickly realize that people usually don't come at the reception and simply say they want to talk to Irene. But, well, what else would you do? You have to announce your presence somehow. 

"Irene is waiting for me. You can call her and ask if you want," you insist. 

The receptionist looks pale for a moment.

Hesitantly, she takes the phone and dials a number. You can still see that the girl thinks you're lying; she's probably ready to call the security guards. During her quick talk on the phone, you notice she's not talking to Irene, but with her secretary. 

You also see the moment her eyes widen.

She hangs up the phone and stands up, smiling widely again.

"Miss Y/N, Irene is waiting for your arrival," she says, and you notice the slight tone of panic in her voice. "Please, accompany me."

All the other visitors have to show their identifications and take a quick picture on the reception, you notice, but the girl simply ignores this procedure with you, guiding you to the elevator instead. She explains the situation to the security guard and he lets you in. The receptionist still looks slightly panicked. She's probably scared that you'll complain how the receptionist was rude to me directly to Irene, but you won't. Poor girl was just doing her job.

The elevator is big, too. It has a panoramic view of the city as it goes up to one of the highest floors. 

You always thought Seulgi was overreacting when she said how bad she sometimes felt for dating Irene, but now you kind of understand her.

You knew Irene was rich. You can recognize a Gucci jacket when you see one, and you've seen Irene wearing plenty of these. But Irene always acted so normal. Sure, she was elegant - and sometimes even arrogant -, but she was still someone very pleasant to be around. She never looked disgusted to be in your tiny but comfy apartment, she never made faces when she'd sometimes wear some of Seulgi's or your clothes when she didn't bring any to spend the night, she never complained to eat the junk food you'd buy for dinner. She was just… chill.

Because of that, you'd forget that she's rich sometimes.

Being in this massive building where everyone acted as if she was a princess made you remember, though.

Irene is beyond rich. Your standard of "rich" used to be Joy: someone that has a cool, big house in a nice part of the city. Irene partially owns a fucking company. She's so chill that you never even bothered to Google the company's name; you did this today to get the address, and it only made you more shocked.

Seulgi must have felt overwhelmed many times in their relationship.

But you're sure she was much happier back then than she is now.

You're used to their drama. They were already dating when you first met Seulgi, and you saw this cycle repeating many times. This time, though, things are not happening as usual. Seulgi is the saddest you’ve ever seen in these almost three years of convivence. Right after they broke up, you thought she was just being dramatic as usual… now you see that it isn’t simple drama. She’s actually sad and has been in this state for months. She doesn’t go out anymore, stopped doing the things she liked… she even got tired of Netflix. That’s probably the most shocking fact of all. 

Jungkook said you shouldn’t get involved in this, but you’re tired of seeing your friend being so sad all the time.

Their breakup was messy this time. They didn’t talk properly, didn’t make things clear. Seulgi is too stubborn to make a move (she’s totally lethargic at this point, both physically and spiritually), and Irene also seems too stubborn. Since none of them has the balls to do anything, you finally decided to step up and take action.

(Funny how you thought Jimin was annoying for trying to push you and Jungkook together, but you’re doing the exact same thing right now).

Well, look, you’re not exactly trying to push them into each other. First, you want to know Irene’s feelings and opinions on this situation. If you see that she has really moved on from Seulgi, then you’re ready to give your friend all the comfort and support in the world so she finally moves on. If Irene shows you that she still has feelings for Seulgi… well…

The speed in which she replied to your DM is a strong indicative of that.

The way her eyes glint with undeniable hope when the elevator doors open and she greets you is another indicative.

Irene looks gorgeous as always; she’s like a human version of Snow White. It’s kind of funny to meet her in her office like this. She’s almost like a female and hotter version of Christian Grey. 

Her ways of greeting you are polite and… hesitant. You understand why. She probably doesn’t get what you’re doing here in the first place, what you want to talk about. Considering you’re Seulgi’s friend, she must think you’d be mad at her or something.

“Why didn’t you call me, Y/N? My guests never enter from the common hall.” she asked. Oh. Common hall is what that massive hall is called. Almost like peasants area.

“I didn’t know.” you simply say, shrugging. 

“I’m sorry that we’re meeting here at my workplace. It feels too profissional, doesn’t it?” she smiles sheepishly.

Well… it does. You don’t even feel comfortable enough to move around her great office, afraid that you’d accidentally break anything (you’re sure that every little piece in this room is much more expensive than you’d be able to afford). 

“Come on, let’s go to the cafeteria. I think it’ll be more comfortable to talk there.” she politely suggests, and you just agree with her.

Irene guides you around the halls. This floor is less crowded, since only Important People with Important Tasks work here - and she’s greeted by all of them as she passes by. Their eyes immediately float to you, and they were surely asking themselves why Princess Irene was being followed by this peasant. 

The cafeteria in question is as pretty and neatly clean as the rest of the building. Soft music plays from the speakers. Irene chooses a more private table by the windows and asks if you want to have breakfast; you politely decline and both of you end up ordering simple cups of coffee. 

An uncomfortable silence lingers in the air.

"I… have to confess that I got surprised when I saw your DM," Irene speaks softly. Her eyes are glued on her cup of coffee. "It's been a while."

"Yeah." 

"How are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine." a hundred different scenes pass on your head as she asks this, and you know that you feel anything but fine in the moment, but it's not as if you'll rant about your complicated love life right now. "But I'm sure you don't want to ask about me."

You see a shade of pink flush Irene's cheeks.

"Well… I don't think it would be right to ask about her." Irene says.

"Why not? It's not as if you didn't know I came here to talk about Seulgi."

"But she doesn't want to know about me."

You're left speechless for a few seconds.

It's funny to see the two sides of a breakup. Because of their stubborness, they became completely out of tune with each other. Irene thought that Seulgi didn't want to know about her, when you knew pretty damn well that Seulgi stalked her social media an unhealthy amount of times per day.

You cross your arms and lean your back on the chair. Irene looks hesitant, but you see she's eager to know whatever information you may have. That's not the behavior of someone that hates their ex.

"Can I ask you something?" you say. It's funny how Irene, the owner of pretty much everything around you, looks so cornered by you, her shoulders shrinking visibly. She nods softly. "Why did you guys break up? I mean, what's your side of the story?"

Irene sighs and passes her hand through her dark hair. She looks out the window. She doesn't seem irritated by your ask. She just seems… thoughtful.

It makes you realize that, perhaps, Seulgi's not the only one feeling broken here.

"We're… different." she starts quietly. "I have been trying to keep this relationship working for a long time, you know. Even though we argued a lot and disagreed about many things. But…" Irene sighs again. Sadness shadows her features. "It was getting hard. Seulgi never accepted my help. She knows that money is no problem for me, and I just wanted to help, but why did she act so angry every time I wanted to help you guys?"

Oh.

You don't miss the way she said "help you guys"; she must be talking about the times both of you were struggling to pay the rent. Oh God. You clearly see where their opinions diverge. Irene has always been rich; she saw money as something simple, giving money to others wasn't a big deal. Meanwhile, Seulgi must've felt dependent and it surely hurt her pride. Besides, there were enough people saying that Seulgi was only dating Irene to get money from her…

"And there's more." Irene's voice becomes quieter, more fragile. "My family, they're… very conservative. It was already hard enough for them to accept my sexuality. They never did, to be honest… but they particularly don't like Seulgi, because she's not, hm, on my "social level", as they like to say."

Ooh.

This is more complicated. Seulgi doesn't know what it feels like; her family is very open minded. She told you that, in the beginning, her parents were shocked when she told them that she also liked girls, but they slowly accepted it. Irene, on the other hand… 

"They keep saying that my relationship with her will be bad for the company." She confesses. "They said they'd even accept my relationship, as long as we dated in secret."

"What?!" you gasp. "This is disgusting!"

"I know." Irene nods, eyes focused on the mug between her hands. You have the impression that you see tears welling up on her eyes, but she blinks rapidly to dissipate them. "I… I was willing to go against them, because if they don't accept my relationship, then they don't accept who I am. But… I don't know if it's worth doing this if I'm not sure if Seulgi feels the same about me."

Ouch.

You remembered the night when they broke up. Seulgi came to you, crying, and said that she was tired of being with someone that wasn't brave enough to accept her.

Seulgi, my dear… you know nothing.

You can see that to go against her parents isn't as simple as it sounds. To Irene, going against her family involves reputation, money, and the company itself. It's definitely a big deal. Seulgi didn't understand how serious it is.

And Irene is willing to take this big step for her.

It's your time to sigh. 

"Irene." you lean closer, staring at her seriously. "Do you still love Seulgi?"

She blinks at your direct question. Irene looks down, gulps… and nods.

"I do love her."

You can't hear any hint of doubt on her voice.

That's what you wanted to hear.

"She's not okay." You blurt out the truth. Irene widens her eyes softly and looks at you. You see guilt on her eyes as she hears this. "I came here because I'm worried about her. She doesn't act like herself anymore. She even got tired of Netflix."

Irene widens her eyes in shock. "She stopped watching Netflix?!"

"Yes." You nod seriously. "And she still loves you, too."

Irene freezes when you say this.

Now, you're sure of the tears welling up on her eyes.

"I…" she stutters, unable to form a coherent sentence. "A-Are you sure?"

You can't help but giggle at her; Irene looks shy, almost like a teenager - scared and excited to know that her crush likes her back. You feel your own heart warming up at the sight.

"Of course I'm sure."

A smile wants to make its way up to her lips. "B-But what do I do? I can't just walk up to her like this. I don't want to start another fight…"

"Irene, believe me. Seulgi will listen to anything you have to say, as long as you're being honest. Tell her about the situation with your family. Prove to her that you're willing to stand for her. I mean, if you're still willing to…"

"I am!" Irene exclaims in a heartbeat. "I am. As long as she's with me, I feel like I can do anything."

You feel yourself smiling. Irene's eyes are shining like diamonds.

"But you also have to try to understand her." You say seriously. "Seulgi is not wrong for wanting to be independent. She's finishing her studies, she wants to build a career for herself, and she wants her own money. I know you're trying to help, but you have to respect her. Also, I'm sure she doesn't want to be a burden for you."

Irene nods vehemently. "Okay. You're right. I get it."

She doesn't hold her smile back anymore as a tear rolls down her cheek. She looks so immensely happy… it's a delightful sight. And you can't help but feel happy too, because right now, more than ever, you see that Seulgi found something rare and precious in this world.

True love.

And this fact itself is enough to make you feel that coming here was worth it - even though Seulgi might want to kill you afterwards.

"But hey, Irene," you call her seriously again. "I'm doing all this because both of you stupid asses couldn't, but if you make Seulgi cry again, I will kill you. I know where you work now."

Irene laughs at your very serious threat. She leans forward and holds both of your hands. "Y/N, thank you so much for telling me all this. I will forever be grateful. If you need anything- and I mean anything- I will help you, okay? Anything!"

"Alright, alright," you say, shrugging, the slight thought that a millionaire owns you a favor sounding nice. "Now, you better go talk to Seulgi. I can't stand her walking around the living room looking like a zombie anymore." Irene laughs softly. "And… I said I wasn't hungry, but now I kind of want that waffle."

Seulgi looks like a very grumpy zombie when you meet her in the corridor.

"Where the hell were you?!" Seulgi exclaims. "It's noon!"

"Yeah, I know." you shrug. "The bank was pretty crowded."

Seulgi narrows her eyes. Her hair looks messy even though it's tied up and she has bags underneath her eyes. She's wearing the top of her old orange pajamas. It has an old kitchen oil stain over the chest. Seulgi from months ago would rarely go out looking like this. 

"What the hell did you need to do there anyway? I didn't even know people still go to banks." She whines. "I was getting worried, you know?"

You walk down the corridor with your hands behind your back. You're glad Seulgi is too grumpy to notice the sly smirk on your lips, the way you kind of bounce by her side in expectation.

"Always so thoughtful, Seul. You're so cute, did you know that?"

She side eyes you, the frown deepening. "Why are you complimenting me?"

"What's the problem with complimenting you?"

"Whenever you compliment me it means either you want something or you did something that you know will piss me off."

Sometimes you forget how well Seulgi knows you. 

"Jesus, you're too stressed, girl. I'll pay you lunch, okay? Let's eat at that Italian restaurant you like."

"When you offer yourself to pay for stuff it also means that-"

Seulgi stops in her tracks, completely frozen.

"Irene?"

You step back silently and hold your breath.

This is the moment that might end your friendship with Seulgi if it goes bad.

Irene seems to be holding her breath as well, her eyes round - scared, hesitant, hopeful. 

And they stand there, looking at each other. As if time has slowed down. As if there was no one else besides them in the busy corridor.

If this was a drama, you imagined that the romantic soundtrack would kick in now.

"Hi, Seulgi." Irene says softly. "It's… it's been a while."

It seems that Seulgi's brain is struggling to function. "What… what are you doing here?" the fact that she does not sound defensive or aggressive but genuinely surprised and confused relieves your chest. 

"I came here to talk." Irene says. "Just… just talk. But if you want me to go…"

"No." Seulgi interrupts her embarrassingly too fast. "It's alright. We… we can talk. Just talk."

Their eyes are gleaming and the ghost of smiles appear on their lips.

Your chest fills with triumph as you silently walk back. Not that either of them would even notice you anyway.

You're too far to hear what they're saying now, their soft voices drowning in the middle of the many more people walking around the corridor, but you still kind of hide inside an empty classroom, half of your body peeking outside of the door to watch them. They're talking and smiling timidly. You feel tempted to take some photos, but it's better not to. You kind of feel like an intruder watching them, even if you're this far-

"What are you doing?" 

You almost feel your spirit jumping out of your body when the male voice asks dangerously close to your ear, turning around in a jump to see the source.

Now you don't know if your heart is beating so ridiculously fast because of the scare of because of the view in front of you.

Jungkook looks down at you with a puzzled expression, his hands behind his back, his body slightly leaning on your direction. He's wearing a modern grey hanbok over a black t-shirt and slippers. His backpack hangs from one shoulder. His hair is half tied up in a small bun, curly bangs falling over his eyes. This is precisely what makes your heart almost fail. You've been wondering how he would look like with his hair tied up ever since he decided to let it grow…

He's got no business looking this good. No. Fucking. Business.

But you're a master of pretending you're unbothered, so you just point ahead at their direction with an excited smile. Jungkook's eyes look up to where you're pointing and his eyes widen.

"Oh!" Almost instantly, he kind of hides behind you as well. It's hard to ignore the warmth of his body on your back, even though he isn't close enough to touch you. "Did they make up? Are they dating again?" 

"I hope they will." it's weird how you're both speaking so low, as if they could possibly hear you over the loud chatter. 

"What if they start fighting?" 

"Don't even say that! I put my friendship with Seulgi at risk to get these two to talk!"

You turn your head in time to see Jungkook's eyes frowning as he realizes what's going on.

"It was you?"

"Of course it was."

He crosses his arms over his broad chest and shakes his head slowly in disapproval. "You said you wouldn't get involved!"

"I never said I wasn't going to get involved." you bat your lashes prettily at him, trying to give your best innocent look (unsuccessfully). 

"You damn gremlin."

You whack his chest. "Aw, come on! Just look at them and tell me it isn't working!"

Both of you look ahead again to see them smiling sweetly at each other as they talk. You bounce and giggle excitedly like a little kid. "Look, look! She's blushing!"

Jungkook tilts his head to the side. "But what about Jennie?"

"Oh, Irene and Jennie went out on dates, but it didn't work out in the end. They're just friends." you repeat the exact same words Irene told you earlier. 

"Are you sure?"

"Well, if she cheats on Seulgi, I'll kill her."

You watch as they slowly start to walk away side by side, heading towards the exit.

You jump out of your "hideout" and open your arms in triumph. "I did great this time, didn't I?!"

Jungkook chuckles and leans on the doorway, arms crossed. "Whatever you say."

You're an expert at acting unbothered, but right now it's really hard to do so when he looks at you this way.

He has a pretty lazy smile on his lips. It makes you feel hot inside and your stomach jumps and your heart races. His gaze is intense… but not in the way you're used to. That look isn't his I want to fuck kind of look, it's… it's… shit, you don't know what that means, but it's pretty intense. Why is he looking at you like that?

You just hope he doesn't notice how your legs are wobbly.

It's the first time you see him in person since two days ago, when he slept at your house. Two days after you had sex even though you said you wouldn't. You didn't talk properly about what happened there. To be honest, your brain still didn't process that well. 

Things are awkward between you two - but this time it's a different kind of awkward. A type of awkward that made your cheeks burn while you cleaned yourself and got dressed. A type of awkward that made you feel all fuzzy and warm inside, that made a silly smile grow on your lips every time your eyes crossed his from the other side of the living room, an awkwardness that forced you both to look away and try to pretend your cheeks weren't aching from the damn smile that didn't want to go away. A type of awkward that didn't let you talk about what happened - as if none of you wanted to talk about it, to just keep it engraved in your minds forever, as if talking about it would take all the magic of the moment away.

You don't hate this type of awkward. 

It's not uncomfortable. Not like what has been happening for the past months. Yet, you feel that you need to talk about it - to sort things out clearly and straightforwardly this time… because if the way he's looking at you means anything, then maybe… just maybe…

"I've got good news." Jungkook says suddenly (because he noticed that you've been staring at each other for far too long to not be embarrassing anymore). 

"What?" you fiddle with your own fingers, trying to ease the tension.

"Remember that director I told you about? Mr. Choi?" You nod. "He invited me to work with him."

Your jaw drops, your eyes widen. "What? Are you serious?!"

Jungkook nods excitedly. "Yeah. Well, I'll be like the assistant of the assistant, to be honest, but… he invited me to work with him on his next project. I'll gain some real experience, at least…"

"Are you kidding? This is great, Kook! What the fuck!"

You jump over to hug him, your arms dropping around his shoulders, and Jungkook quickly hugs you back. His low excited giggle right next to your ear makes goosebumps crawl on your skin. 

"I'm so fucking proud of you!" And you couldn't be more honest. Jungkook has always been so  hardworking; he deserves all the success and recognition in the world. You always thought so.

"Thank you," his voice is still low and excited.

He caresses your back. It makes yet more goosebumps crawl on your skin. 

Oh, God. He still smells like baby powder. He always does. You feel tempted to sniff the crook of his neck, just to take a little bit more of his scent, but you hold yourself back. It's not like hugging Jungkook is something new to you. Fuck, after everything you've done, hugging should feel like nothing. But for some reason… hugging him right now feels like a lot.

Feels awkward.

So awkward that you have to remind yourself that you're in the middle of a corridor full of people, and that this hug is taking way too long, so you step back before your brain completely malfunctions. 

"A-And," you clear your throat and put a strand of hair behind your ear, furiously avoiding his gaze. You never thought that Jungkook would make you feel shy like this. Shy and Y/N shouldn’t make sense in the same sentence. "When is this next project?"

"In two days. I think he decided to put me on the crew last minute."

"This means that he really trusts you."

Jungkook smiles sheepishly and massages the back of his neck. "I just hope I won't mess things up."

"You'll do great, Kook. You always do."

He lifts his gaze to you again.

That same look again.

You feel that everything is blurred except him again. No one else is in that corridor. No loud chatter. Just him and his starry eyes, looking back at you, eyes that smile as much as his lips.

God.

You need to sort things out.

You can't just stare at him with heart eyes like this anymore. You need to talk about what happened. This conversation feels awkward because you're both trying to act normal, pretending that there isn't a fucking elephant in the room - an elephant that makes you think of a mattress in the middle of your living room, of sunrays touching his exposed skin, of old pajamas being thrown around and sweat and soft kisses and salty tears dripping down your temples.

You need to know if he also felt that that morning was different. You need to know if he feels the same. Even if he doesn't - even if his heart lays with Yeri or Joy or whoever it might be - you need to know, and you don't care about what the outcome might be. You just can't torture yourself like this anymore.

So you inhale and gulp.

"Jungkook, I was thinking… are you busy after classes?" you ask timidly.

He presses his lips together. "Actually, I am. The boys and I are planning to celebrate the end of the semester tonight."

Mission abort! Mission abort!!

"Why?"

"Oh- it's nothing. I was just…" you can't think of any excuse. "It's not that important anyway. Forget it."

Jungkook looks at you with suspicion. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah! I'm sure. Nevermind."

He still stares at you for a while, frowning. 

"You wanna come with us?"

"No!" you shake your hands dismissively. You're not having this super important conversation surrounded by all of his friends. "I'm just gonna bother you guys. It's fine, Jungkook. Enjoy your night." 

Jungkook shrugs. He takes his phone from his back pocket for a moment. "Well, I gotta go. I promised I'd pay Jimin lunch."

"Alright."

You start to walk in opposite directions.

“But we can meet tomorrow, right?” You turn around way too fast when you hear Jungkook say, a few steps away from you. He looks hesitant, an awkward little smile on his lips. “I have some stuff to do, but we can see each other at night. After I finish preparing my stuff. We could meet, right?” He visibly starts to look more and more awkward as he speaks. As if his confidence started to vanish. It’s kind of adorable. “You could come to my place. O-Or I could go to yours, I don’t care- I mean, can I?”

Your heart is bouncing crazily inside of you. You don’t notice how you’re mirroring his awkward smile. “Of course, Kook. When did you ever need permission to go to my apartment?”

Jungkook frowns as if he just realized how stupid his ask was. “Guess you’re right. Or maybe we could go out somewhere, right? It’s been a while since we went out, the two of us.”

He’s right. All you’ve been doing for the past months is meet to have sex. You don’t even remember the last time you two did something that didn’t involve getting naked. 

“Sure, let’s go out.” 

You stare at each other for a few more awkward moments (awkward is a word you’ve been thinking a lot about lately). See, that’s not how things would go between you two back then. Neither of you ever needed to ask previously to go out. You’d just usually drag Jungkook out of his house by force when you deemed he hasn’t been taking enough sunlight (fucking Overwatch). Or Jungkook would call you at 3am because he was bored of playing Overwatch and just realized there was only expired milk and an empty box of cereal in the cabinets because the last time he and Jimin bought food was 2 weeks ago and he’d be like “hey, let’s go to Walmart” and you’d be like “what the fuck Jungkook it’s 3am” and he’d be like “but Jimin’s not home I need help” and you’d be like “fuck you” but twenty minutes later you’d both be on your pajamas pushing a cart inside of an empty Walmart as you barely register Jungkook ranting about how he thinks he’s lactose intolerant because he had diarrhea the last time he ate yogurt.

That’s kind of how things used to go back then.

At the same time you desperately want your relationship to go back to normal, you don’t really hate the way you’re feeling right now.

“Right, I gotta go.” Jungkook snaps out of it faster than you and nods. “I’ll text you later.”

“Okay.”

Again, you turn around and start to walk in opposite directions. Slowly. Hesitantly. Because both of you know you don't want to go. Both of you know you still have a lot to talk about.

But maybe later.

[bby bear]: i kinda want to kill you rn but

[bby bear]: thank u so fcking much

[bby bear]: ily

[bby bear]: bitch

You're smiling so hard that your cheeks might probably start to ache. If Seulgi texted you this, it means things went really well with Irene. 

The chatter in the dining hall is nothing but background noise on your ears as you scroll down your boring Instagram feed, the plate just half eaten in front of you. You’re not really hungry. Maybe the stress of studying for finals messed your stomach. The hell’s finally over, at least, and you’re sure that your grades won’t be that bad (Seulgi didn’t want to do anything, but you at least convinced her to study with you. That’s the only thing that got her out of her bedroom. Her zombie state was kinda the reason why you studied so hard). 

Some text notifications pop on your screen, but you just swipe them away since none of them are from the person you’re waiting for. All of your friends are planning to go out tonight and some of them are asking if you want to go. No, you don’t. Honestly, you’ve not been feeling yourself these days. Past you would always be up to a party. Past you wouldn’t be having lunch alone in the dining hall - honestly though, you don’t even mind being by yourself. Nothing would make you feel emptier right now than being surrounded by random people. Just one person matters at the moment-

“Hi.”

You almost drop the phone inside the plate when you look up to see who just sat in front of you.

Joy.

Your throat feels suddenly bitter. You have to gulp.

“Jesus, I didn’t even notice you come,” you inhale and chuckle. “How you doing, Joy?”

Joy smiles. “I’m fine.”

She’s lying.

There’s something in the way she looks at you and in the way her smile looks plastic-fake that makes you shiver.

It makes you think that she didn’t even want to be here.

Well, you don’t know about her, but you certainly feel uncomfortable right now. You can’t lie that you’ve been feeling kind of guilty these days because you’ve been fucking the guy she likes in secret, but a big fat load of guilt hit you especially after two days ago. Joy went on a date with Jungkook and barely a few hours later you had him inside of you. And, of course, you had rough sex with him inside of her bathroom. All the while you knew Joy liked him and encouraged her to be with him-

Wow, it’s getting hard to look at her right now. 

You really are a bitch. In the beginning you didn’t feel bad because you stupidly assumed there weren’t feelings involved. It was just friends with benefits, right? You even agreed that you could have sex with other people. If Jungkook started dating Joy, of course you’d stop doing it. Also, there was nothing between you two. You didn’t even feel jealousy.

Things changed, though, and at some point you genuinely started to hate this poor girl for breathing around Jungkook. And now you feel guilty because you realized that you like the guy that she told you she had a crush on months ago.

I took a shower this morning, so why do I feel so dirty right now?

A shiver runs down your spine.

The way she’s looking at you… what if she knows-?

“I’m throwing a party tonight,” she says suddenly. “To celebrate the end of the semester. You wanna come?”

You’ve been fucking the guy she likes for months and there she is, being nice and inviting you to her party. You really are a fake ass bitch-

“O-Oh.” You rub the back of your neck. “I, uhm… thanks, Joy, but I’m not feeling very well today. I just feel like sleeping, to be honest.” You chuckle sheepishly again. 

Joy nods. “Alright.”

She doesn’t insist. It looks like she doesn’t even care. As if she’s just being polite.

In fact, it kind of looks that she’s relieved that you said no-

“So, how was your date with Taehyung?” She changes the topic quickly. “We didn’t even talk about it.”

Right. She’s talking about the person you don’t even want to think about because there’s only so much guilt one person can feel at once. 

“It was fun.” You say. “We had a lot of fun.”

It sounds stupid, the way you can’t even articulate your date with him. You’re not lying - you had fun… kind of. 

“Are you dating him now?”

Okay, this is getting strange. Not the question, but the way she asked. You’re 100% sure she’s annoyed by something, and honestly looks uninterested in your current state with Taehyung right now, so why is she asking anyway? 

“No, we’re not.” You admit. 

Joy stares at you in silence as if she’s waiting for you to say something more, but you say nothing else. Joy then nods. This is getting very uncomfortable.

You feel that she’s about to leave, so you pick up the courage to speak again. She touched this topic anyway.

You know it’s wrong to ask. You shouldn’t. But you’re so curious that you can’t help.

“A-And, uhm… what about you and Jungkook? How was your date?” you try so hard to pretend you’re not dying curious to know.

Joy stares at you in silence again. She isn’t smiling.

“He didn’t tell you?”

What? Is there something to tell?!

“No. Jungkook’s kinda private about this type of thing,” you’re lying, of course, because even if Jungkook didn’t want to, you’d usually annoy him with questions about his dates so hard that he’d end up telling everything that happened.

Joy looks away and quirks one eyebrow. “Oh. I assumed he would have since you guys are so close.”

The way she says so close bothers you.

It’s her turn to rub the back of her neck, her eyes glued on the table - only she doesn’t look nervous. Yeah, she’s annoyed. Joy takes so long to talk that you’re about to repeat your question, but she finally speaks:

“We also had fun. Jungkook really is a sweet guy, right? He did nothing wrong. He’s so polite that it ended up annoying me, honestly. More polite than I would have wanted him to be…” Hah, so they didn’t fuck! Great! “Well, he dropped me home and I invited him to spend the night and all, but… He was very polite. He apologized a lot and said that he couldn’t stay…”

Joy licks her lips. Why the dramatic pause? Say it already, come on!

“He’s also a very honest guy, right?” She chuckled, but she clearly didn’t think it was funny. “He said that he thought I was an amazing person, but things wouldn’t go further than this because…”

For the first time, Joy lifts her gaze and looks at you.

“Because he already had feelings for someone else.”

You’re honestly not breathing anymore.

Joy is watching you very carefully. You’re as stiff as a board.

“Not a fun way to finish a date, right?” She says and chuckles, again, it’s clear she isn’t happy at all. “Anyways, I have to go now. Bye.” 

She gets up and walks away before you can even say anything, as if this conversation was being unbearable for her.

Meanwhile, you just sit there. Frozen. Breathless.

He said things wouldn’t go further than this.

Your throat feels very dry out of sudden. Very, very dry and coarse, as if you’ve eaten sand. 

Because…

You take the water bottle from over the table and drink it in one big, big gulp, until the bottle is empty and your shaking fingers crushed the fragile pet bottle.

He already had feelings for someone else.

You get up and take the tray so fast that you almost drop everything.

Your movements are fast as you walk out of the busy dining hall, your heart beating loudly on your ribcage, your breathing irregular and your mind working at 200 km/h.

He already had feelings for someone else.

He told Joy this. He dropped her home and told her the truth. He apologized. He… he said he already had feelings for someone else. Jesus Christ. Your heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s going to stop anytime soon.

He- He-

He might be talking about Yeri, a little, hesitant voice inside your mind whispers. Well… sure. You’ve been suspecting it for a good while. But… after Jungkook dropped Joy home and said this he-

He went to your apartment.

He went to you.

You feel the need to stop walking and lean on the corridor’s wall. The world around you is blurred.

What is this feeling bubbling up in your chest? A feeling so strong that it’s almost spilling over? This thing that makes you open the widest smile you ever opened and makes you want to jump around the corridor like crazy?

He came to me. He came to me. He came to me. He came to me.

He came to me!

But-

But there’s still the Yeri possibility. 

You need to know the truth. To hear him say it, and you can’t wait another day - not anymore.

You take your phone from your bag and type with shaking fingers.

[you]: hey

[you]: can we meet today?

[you]: i really need to talk to you

Jeon Jungkook is a simp. 

He doesn’t like this word. He thinks it’s annoying how people would call a guy a simp just because he’s treating a girl with minimal decency. 

But, like. He’s a simp. He knows he is. He took a long time to admit this, but lately his pride has been already so crushed and stepped on by a particular pair of feet that he can’t even bring himself to feel anything anymore.

Actually, no. He has been feeling like shit for a long time. It’s just the alcohol anesthetizing him right now.

That’s just his second bottle of beer and he already feels kind of dizzy. It’s been a while since he last drank alcohol, that’s probably why his resistance feels weak. He makes a mental reminder to not drink too much. Jungkook knows that he gets really talkative when he’s drunk and he always ends up saying stuff he shouldn’t - and today especially he can’t end up saying stuff he shouldn’t with that guy around.

If he knew Taehyung would be here too, Jungkook wouldn’t have come. Yes, he knows he’s being childish. He knows he’s angry at someone that didn’t do anything wrong, he knows that jealousy is bad, he knows that technically he is wrong because he’s been dicking down the girl that he knew his friend liked. He knows all that, alright?!

Jungkook throws his head back and sighs, passing his hand through his hair. A chilling night breeze touches his cheeks; since the inside of the bar was already full and they were too many, everyone decided to sit on the outside part of the bar. Jungkook hasn’t been paying attention to anything anyone around him was saying and neither was he interested. He thought that coming here would make him forget about the things that have been troubling him, but in the end he’s just thinking more about them.

I could excuse myself and go home. He thought. I have a lot of things to do anyway. I wouldn’t be lying.

He feels a hand rest on his shoulder and looks at Jimin, sitting on a chair by his side. The look on Jimin’s face already says everything. Jungkook sometimes thinks that Jimin has telepathic superpowers; how does he always know what’s going on before anyone even says anything?

“You alright?” Jimin asks in a low tone, careful not to call anyone’s attention. The younger one nods.

“Yeah.”

“You’re lying.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I’m not.” Jungkook reassures. 

Taehyung laughs loudly from across the table and both of them end up looking at him. Jimin looks back at Jungkook. 

Jimin sighs. “You know you can go home if you want to.”

“Yeah.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Just… don’t do anything stupid.”

Jungkook looks at Jimin and sips a bit more of the beer slowly.

“Yeah.”

Jimin smacks his shoulder and goes back to his previous conversation with Hoseok.

How Jimin always seems to know what’s going on… it annoys Jungkook a lot. He wasn’t supposed to know anything. It’s not like Jungkook told him about his feelings, Jimin just… realized. They were doing grocery shopping one day and Jungkook mentioned how last time he went to Walmart you told him that the diarrhea he had wasn’t because he was lactose intolerant but because the yogurt was expired and then Jimin turned around and simply said:

“You like her, right?”

And Jungkook gasped.

Jimin smirked knowingly and just kept pushing the cart. He said nothing else - but it was as if Jungkook had just confessed his deepest feelings right there.

This happened a little bit after Jungkook and Yeri broke up and kind of made him feel offended. How could Jimin say he liked you? He hadn’t even gotten over Yeri, Jimin knew very well. However, it seems that Jimin is not only a telepath, he can also see the future, because he couldn’t be more right.

If Jungkook’s being honest with himself, some months ago he wasn’t really really sure about what he felt about you. As the “Yeri” scar started to heal he got more aware of his own feelings and actions towards you, but it was hard to sort things out because he was always in denial. That desire to hold you close and hug you and take care of you and not let anyone hurt you anymore? Well, that was just his protective side. You have always been one of his dearest people. Jungkook also knew that he had a little possessive side. He was sure that this feeling would eventually vanish.

Maybe he was also frightened because he knew it wasn’t reciprocal. You never even looked at him in a way that might mean you felt something else for him. He wasn’t going to confess something he wasn’t sure of to someone that definitely didn’t feel anything for him and destroy a life-long friendship.

But oh boy, how things have changed.

They changed the moment you hopped on his lap that night inside his car. Jesus, that first week was hell for Jungkook. He was trying so, so hard to forget the messy drunken memories of his night with you - especially because, the moment he woke up and saw the pure face of terror on your face when you realized what just happened, he thought of how much you regretted that and all of his hopes died right there - the hopes that maybe, just maybe, you could be more than friends.

Yet, he got to taste you again. Two times were all it took to get him addicted.

He couldn’t stop anymore - and it hurt him much more than he would like to admit. He felt that he was being used, even though he let you do it (and he enjoyed it every time, not gonna lie). He felt worthless, he felt angry at himself because he couldn’t stop and because you were so, so fucking stupid, so fucking blind, he felt sad because he watched as your friendship started to slowly die down, and now he feels jealous and guilty because he’s been seeing how Taehyung likes you - how Taehyung even asked him advice to ask you out - and he didn’t stop fucking you anyway.

That day at Joy’s house? It was ridiculous. Jungkook still doesn’t understand what the fuck happened to him, why he felt so angry. Perhaps he was finally getting tired of how dumb you are, how you can’t see what’s right in front of your face. 

Just thinking about you hurts now. And Jungkook thinks about you a lot. There he is, surrounded by his friends, where he should be talking and having fun, but he’s too busy thinking about you. In two days he’ll start working for Mr. Choi, his first real job. He should be thinking about it. Not about you.

He can’t stop thinking about your flustered face.

You don’t look flustered that often. Especially not around him. 

He thinks this is very intriguing.

What hurt him the most in all this - the thing that made him feel like a piece of shit more than anything - is that he knows you too damn well and he knew that it was never special to you. To you it was just sex, it was just fun; whenever your lips touched you never felt like you were being swept off your feet like he did, whenever you touched him you didn’t feel like just then, in that moment, everything was right - as if the Universe was only created for that specific moment to happen, as if the Universe was expectantly waiting for the moment his fingers ran on your skin freely since the very beginning.

He never felt like this with anyone else. No other pussy has ever made him feel this poetic. 

The fact that Jungkook knew you didn’t feel the same was exactly why he couldn’t stop; this would be the closest he’d ever be from you in that sense - and honestly, after he tasted you, he didn’t want to go back to stage one. You were like a drug. You brought him comfort, you brought him bliss. Having sex with you became somehow of a escapist method. But, just like every drug, you started to make him feel sick… so sick that he couldn’t stand to be around you when you weren’t fucking. 

He drifted away.

God, he even stupidly tried to move on, but Joy was a foolish try. Jungkook felt bad for using her like this - even though he never even kissed her, he felt that he was fooling her anyway. Going on that date with Joy made everything worse, because he was with that gorgeous, intelligent and lovely girl, but he couldn’t feel anything but fucking empty.

He also realized that you couldn’t be his drug anymore. You deserved much more than that. That’s why he drove all the way to your apartment like a magnet. He preferred to go back to stage one if necessary, if it meant that he could be around you without feeling like a worthless piece of shit anymore.

Of course - things didn’t work out that way.

But that morning- it was different.

Jungkook has to sip more of his beer just thinking about it.

It was different.

It was… quiet, very quiet. Much more quieter than he was used to. And much closer than he ever remembered. 

All the times he had sex with you - his body was being pleased, but his soul felt hurt. This time, though, he felt that his whole self was being healed. You didn’t feel like a drug. You felt like a cure.

As if you were connected in somehow of a deeper way.

As if this time, it wasn’t one-sided on his part.

Jungkook can’t stop thinking about it. His pessimistic side tried to convince him that he was being delusional or dramatic (he has this tendency to overthink anyways) and maybe he was, but, again… you don’t usually act flustered, especially not around him. And you’ve been looking flustered around him for quite some now, even before that morning. Sure, your friendship became uncomfortable at some point and he realized that none of you knew how to act around each other anymore, but still… 

What about that time you saw a picture of Yeri on his computer?

You looked very, very awkward.

Or how you sometimes seemed bothered when Joy was around. You teased him a lot at that pool party. Jungkook knew you could get kinda kinky sometimes (he knew you liked the thrill of possibly being caught), but that felt like too much even for you.

His pessimistic side once again tried to convince him that he was seeing things. You wouldn’t be acting jealous. You were never jealous of him with any girl. Never. You even encouraged him to be with Joy, right?

What if… what if maybe, just maybe…?

Stop getting your hopes too high, his pessimistic side scolded. You look stupid.

I’ve been looking stupid for a goddamn long time, Jungkook thinks back. His pessimistic side looks back at him with disdain.

Jungkook frowns and looks at the bottle of beer on his hand. This is just regular beer, right? He surely isn’t so drunk that he’s already arguing with himself.

I should probably go home.

Or…

He could go to your home.

You wanted to talk to him earlier today. You looked very hesitant - again, very uncharacteristic of you. It felt like it was something important. Perhaps you wouldn’t mind if he knocked on your door unannounced - wait, you never cared. At least when your relationship didn’t involve rough sex. I mean- you didn’t mind not even when you started fucking, to be honest.

Why do I feel so nervous? I’ve never felt nervous over such a stupid thing. I mean, she’s the same dumbass I’ve known my whole life.

You’re probably home doing nothing. That’s also very uncharacteristic of you. Normal you would be at some club or party right now, celebrating the end of the semester. Normal you would probably have tried to drag him along. Or you’d meet some time during the night when you’re both too drunk to be standing and then you’d end up at 5am at the usual Burger King because you’re both hungry, and the Burger King employees would be staring at you both with anger and disgust because you’re both laughing like stupid and talking too loud and they’ve been up all night and can’t stand two drunk costumers this early in the morning.

It sounds nice.

Jungkook remembers that Seulgi and Irene made up, which means that Seulgi most definitely isn’t home.

Which means you positively are home alone.

Home alone, huh.

Jungkook sips more beer. 

This sounds nicer.

But, hey, it’s not like he’s being dirty minded (well, at least not entirely). He really wants to know what you wanted to talk about - and suddenly, he doesn’t feel like waiting until tomorrow. Maybe it’s the alcohol (maybe he really shouldn’t finish this beer), but he wants to see your face a lot right now. Your flustered face. And he kinda feels like holding your face with both hands and kissing you very slowly. And he kinda feels like going very very deep inside of-

You know what? Fuck it.

Jungkook puts the bottle over the table and is ready to get up. His excuse is ready. Nobody’s gonna think it’s strange anyway - Jungkook has actual stuff to do.

But he doesn’t have the chance to move when he notices a person approaching the tables where he’s sat.

He freezes.

It’s you.

You’re looking down at your phone before you lift your head and see the group of familiar faces a few meters away from you. You’re alone.

Jungkook’s heart starts to beat furiously inside his chest. A smile unconsciously increases on his lips. What are you doing here? He didn’t know you’d come. He’s also sure that he didn’t tell you which bar he would come to earlier today. Adrenaline rushes through his veins as a hundred ideas run on his mind in those few seconds; did you feel the need to see him as much as he wanted to see you? Did you have the same idea as him? Were you so eager to see him that you couldn’t wait until tomorrow-?

Your eyes finally cross his.

That’s when Jungkook notices something isn’t right.

You look surprised, then a second later you frown, then you slowly widen your eyes.

He knows you too damn well.

You didn’t know he’d be there, too. You’re surprised to see him. And it looks… it looks like you didn’t want to see Jungkook there.

“Y/N!”

A loud, excited, familiar male voice bursts out.

Jungkook watches frozen in place as Taehyung gets up in a swift movement, holds your face with both hands and kisses you.

Taehyung’s lips are warm against yours. They taste like toothpaste and beer.

The kiss is very brief. Taehyung breaks it alway soon, but still holds your face with his hands. He’s smiling widely.

“You're late, missy!" He says happily.

You're frozen in place.

This isn't happening. 

"I-" you stutter. It seems that your brain went into complete malfunction. "I, uhm…"

Your eyes travel back to Jungkook.

He's just watching. Not moving a muscle. No.

No no no no no no.

This can't be happening.

Jungkook wasn't supposed to be here. You thought- you thought he was going to celebrate with his classmates, you didn't expect Taehyung would be here too. No, no. Just no. 

You see the exact moment his features get as hard as stone. The way he clenches his jaw tight.

You can't breathe.

When you texted Taehyung earlier, you didn’t really like that he told you to meet him at a bar. A bar wasn’t the right place to have this type of conversation - you also felt bad that you’d probably ruin his end-of-semester celebrations - but you agreed anyway because you desperately needed to make things clear with Taehyung before you had that talk with Jungkook. You decided to do this because Jungkook was honest and fair with Joy; you needed to do the same. You left the worst of the impressions when you let Taehyung kiss you that day. You needed to tell him the truth, or else he’d just suffer more - and you couldn’t be a bitch enough to just dump him by text.

But fuck -  you didn’t expect Taehyung would fucking kiss you in front of everyone the moment he saw you!

With the corner of your eye, you see Jimin looking from you to Taehyung to Jungkook very fast, his face going pale as he realizes what just happened. No one else notices that something’s wrong.

Jungkook breaks eye contact with you and gets up from his chair. Jimin looks at him, helpless. You know that expression. He’s angry and- and-

Hurt.

You step away from Taehyung, trying to get control over your body again. It feels like pure frost has filled your veins. “T-Taehyung, I…” Your mouth is very dry again. You clear your throat. “C-Can we talk somewhere else?”

You suddenly hate how oblivious Taehyung is and how touchy he is because it’s clear that he’s moving his arm to hold your hand. What the fuck?! We just kissed once, it’s not like we’re dating!

“Sure. Do you wanna get inside? Wanna get a drink?” He asks with the same happy smile. 

You’re trying to think of something to say, but again, someone else behind him gets your attention.

“You’re going this early, Jungkook?” Hoseok whines, oblivious to the whole situation. Jungkook is putting his backpack over his shoulder. He’s looking down, jaw still very tight. Not a word said - yet you could see exactly how hurt he was. 

“Yeah. I have a lot to do.” He simply says. 

“Aw, come on, man!” Taehyung encourages. “You can stay a little longer!”

If Taehyung was a little less oblivious, he would have noticed the death glare sent in his direction.

“I can’t.”

A shiver crawls over your entire body as the death glare is now directed to you. 

He’s so, so hurt.

Jungkook’s walking away.

Stop! You want to scream. You got it all wrong! Don’t go!

But you don’t have the chance to stop him, and Jungkook doesn’t have the chance to walk away, and Taehyung doesn’t have the chance to understand what’s going on.

Everyone turns their heads when they hear a boisterous, scandalous laughter, and the sound of someone clapping their hands dramatically.

Now you’re sure that your veins are frosted. You shiver again - yet this time, it’s pure fear.

It’s Mike.

A very, very drunk Mike.

He looks the worst you’ve ever seen him; his clothes are a mess, his hair has grown a lot, and he hasn’t been shaving lately. His eyes are widened, red and maniac. He stumbles as he walks closer, everyone on the table - and the people on the tables around - stopping to look as he still claps ironically.

“Oh, look at what we have here!” he’s loud. Very loud. “So interesting!”

You notice that Jungkook isn’t walking away anymore - in fact, he comes back a few steps, standing closer to you. His body language has changed. Jimin has also gotten up; it seems that Taehyung might be starting to understand what’s going on.

“This is the funniest shit I’ve seen in a looooong time,” Mike continues. God, he’s drooling. This isn’t happening. That’s not possible.

You watch as some guys come closer to Mike and recognize them as his friends. One of them holds Mike’s arm. “Come on, man. Don’t start a scene. It’s not worth it.” He says in a rather low voice, but you can still hear it.

Mike gets off his grip aggressively. “What do you mean? Of course it’s worth it!” Mike looks at you and grins like a madman. You feel another shiver run down your spine. “Hello, Y/N! It’s been a long time! How have you been?!”

“Your friend’s right.” Jungkook speaks up. “Get out of here.”

“Ooooooh,” Mike shakes his hands as if pretending to be scared. “Look who’s here, too! It’s the bestie! Jeon Jungkook, the best friend your girlfriend could ever have!”

Pretty much everyone on the outside part of the bar is paying attention to what’s going on. They whisper between themselves, looking at Mike, you and Jungkook. You feel so embarrassed that you might as well faint. You feel that you should have said something already, but your brain is still malfunctioning. 

“Jeon Jungkook, the friend that will want to fuck your girl so bad, but he won’t because he’s a coward!” Mike screams and laughs like a maniac.

Jungkook steps up closer to Mike in a brusque movement, but Jimin’s fast enough to hold him back. At this point, all of his friends have already gotten up from the table, wanting to stop Jungkook from doing anything.

“Shut up, Mike! Let’s go!” Mike’s friends try to stop him as well, trying to drag him away, but even though he’s drunk, he’s still strong enough to stay in place.

“You think I didn’t know, huh, Jungkookie? You think I didn’t know that whenever I was balls deep inside of Y/N you wish it was you? You always wanted to make her scream like a bitch the way I did!”

At this moment, the fear and shame are overwhelmed by anger. Without realizing, you are the one stepping closer, you are the person who Taehyung has to grab the arm in order to stop. “Shut the fuck up, you son of a bitch!” You hear yourself yelling.

People on the tables around have gotten up - the noise of many chairs scraping the floor getting louder than the worried voices of the people trying to get away from this mess. You hear someone - a guard from the bar, maybe - threatening to call the police, but you can’t pay attention to him.

“Oh, but that’s exactly what you are! A whore!” Mike yells back. “You got so sad that I cheated on you, but haven’t you been doing the same to me?! You think I didn’t see you two inside the car that night?!”

That night… in the car…

Did he... ?

You freeze again when you see Mike pointing at Taehyung. 

“Hm, you’re Taehyung, right? Are you dating her now? Well, be aware of her best friend right here, unless you like sharing your girl! But Jungkook likes leftovers, right, Jungk-?”

He doesn’t finish the sentence.

Jimin isn’t strong enough to stop Jungkook from jumping over and landing a punch on Mike’s nose.

There’s yelling and the sound of tables turning as a whole lot of men try to stop the fight and glasses breaking and Jungkook screaming incomprehensible things as he holds Mike’s collar and punches once, twice, three times, and then Mike’s mouth and nose are bleeding, and Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung are trying to get Jungkook off Mike but it seems that not even the three would be enough to stop him.

You’ve never seen Jungkook so mad. It scares you because Mike is too drunk and can’t defend himself - but you’re not scared for Mike, that fucker can die -, you’re scared of what might happen to Jungkook.

So, when Jimin and the others drag Jungkook away as he still tries to free himself violently, you somehow squeeze yourself between them to hold Jungkook’s arm.

“Jungkook, stop!”

The black-haired man looks at you, his eyes red with rage in a way you’ve never seen before. 

You didn’t notice that, in your despair, your eyes filled with tears. This is probably what makes Jungkook stop for a moment.

“Enough! I called the police! Everyone out of the bar!”

A siren can be heard from far.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Jimin yells.

Another mess as everyone grabs their things and to try and run out of the bar - even the people that weren’t involved. You see that Mike hasn’t fainted as his friends grab him out of the bar in a rush.

Jungkook has to get out of here, it’s the only thing on your mind. Jungkook thinks the same apparently, because he’s quick to take his bag from the floor and jump over the bar’s fence to the sidewalk. You assumed that he didn’t drive his way here because he knew he would drink - which means he had to run.

Your only instinct is to follow him. 

You jump over the fence too, much more clumsily than him. Jungkook is already running down the street. 

As you’re about to follow him, you hear someone call your name.

It’s Taehyung.

He’s standing on the sidewalk as customers run out of the bar. And the look on his face crushes your heart.

I am the worst person in the world.

“Y/N, what he said… is it- is it true?” He asks quietly.

You open your mouth as if to say something, but nothing coherent comes out of it. The guilt rushes with adrenaline through your veins. You knew he would be hurt, but it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. It wasn’t.

“I-I’m sorry, Taehyung,” is the only thing you can stutter.

You don’t see what face he makes next - both because you can’t take it, and because you’re already turning around and running down the street after Jungkook.

Jungkook is the only thing on your mind.

You can’t let him go away like this.

You run through the busy streets full of bars. As usual, they’re crowded with people. Some of them look at you running like crazy when you pass by, but you can’t stop running because you can still hear the sirens.

Jungkook has some damn long legs. He runs much faster than you and doesn’t even look back. You can barely breathe and your stomach hurts as you unsuccessfully try to catch up to him. You keep running and running and running until you’re on less busier streets, until the bars are left behind and now you’re on a more residential part of the neighbourhood. As Jungkook crosses an almost empty square, you decided that your body can’t take it anymore. You stop gradually, feeling your entire body scream in pain.

“Jungk- Jungkook!” you yell. 

The black-haired man finally looks behind his back and sees you; he widens his eyes in surprise and stops. 

“Why are you-?”

He doesn’t have the time to finish his sentence as the sound of the sirens get closer. You immediately start to run again and this time - instead of running in front of you - Jungkook waits until you get closer to grab your hand, forcing you to run faster. You two cross the square and run into a stair alley with houses on both sides. It’s quiet here. Jungkook crouches down behind a big trash bin, making you crouch down as well.

You both make as much silence as possible (considering you’re both panting heavily), both sweating, and wait until the sounds and lights of the police siren go away.

After maybe five minutes Jungkook gets up again, dropping his backpack on the floor. He cleans the sweat on his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt; you rest your hands on your legs, trying to recover your breath. Your stomach hurts as if it has been stabbed. Maybe I should start working out.

You notice that Jungkook’s right hand is hurt; his knuckles are swollen and bleeding a little. He frowns in pain as he analyzes it. “You- you’re hurt.” you stupidly stutter. Jungkook shakes his head.

“It’s nothing.” He says in a low voice. “I said I would beat him up if I saw him…”

Out of instinct you step closer to him, worried, and lift your hands to hold his swollen one.

But Jungkook steps back before you can even touch him. He literally flinched away from you.

It feels like an arrow has just buried itself in your heart.

He’s not looking at you.

“Jungkook-”

“No.” He shakes his head again. He’s breathing heavily as if trying to calm himself down. “Don’t… don’t say anything. Please.”

It’s getting so difficult to breathe. Jungkook puts his hands on each side of his waist, staring at something on the floor - clearly avoiding your pleading gaze.

“But Jungkook, I… you didn’t…” why the hell can’t you speak a coherent sentence anymore? That’s why you followed him all the way. You must make things clear, but seeing his face right now makes you hesitate. Jungkook looks genuinely angry; you’ve never seen him like this, ever.

He throws his head back, looking at the sky, and lets a very dry chuckle past his lips. His expression tells you everything you need to know - he’s tipsy, not entirely drunk.

“You know, I don’t even understand why I’m angry.” You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or to himself. “There was never anything real happening, right? We were never real.”

You feel yourself choking on your own words. What does he mean?

“Jungkook, you have to listen to me. I just wanted to talk to Taehyung-”

“You don’t need to explain yourself, Y/N!” He interrupts and finally gazes you back with bloodshot eyes. “We’re fuck buddies, right? It’s just for fun, right? No real feelings involved. It’s not like we’re supposed to care.”

Tears start to make your sight blurred. Each word of his sound more and more bitter, more sad, more hurt, and it feels like someone has buried the arrow in your heart deeper when you realize that his eyes are getting teary, too.

“Stop saying that. You know it’s not true. You’re the person I care about the most in this world-”

“If you start saying how I’m your best friend I’m leaving you right now.”

You frown and blink, trying to dissipate the tears. “B-But it’s true-”

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N! I’m in love with you! Stop acting like you don’t know that already!”

It feels like your brain and your limbs and your lungs stopped working all at once.

Did he… did he just…?

Jungkook exhales heavily. He looks so tired. He rests his back against the wall in front of you, once again avoiding your gaze.

Something tells you that this should have been a happy moment. Deep down, you feel the pure bliss and excitement and it feels like your heart will combust - because you finally heard the words you wanted to hear the most coming directly from his mouth, you finally understood everything; he felt the same, the fucking same.

Yet, all the happiness is being overwhelmed by worry.

You’re watching him intently. You know the man in front of you better than you know yourself. You’ve never seen this expression before - this mix of anger and hurt have never been directed towards you. You’re scared because you don’t know what it implies.

It’s his breaking point.

He might be giving up on you right now.

You don’t know what to say. For a long moment, you just stare at him as he tries to calm himself down - always avoiding your gaze. It seems that words won’t come out of your mouth no matter how hard you try.

“Since when?” is the only thing you can whisper after a long time.

Jungkook shakes his head and lets yet another lifeless chuckle. “I don’t know.” He says in a low, broken voice.

Your fingers are shaking as you close your hands in tight fists. He needs to hear the truth.

“Jungkook.” Yet again, you hesitantly step closer. Your voice is fragile, pleading. “You got it all wrong. Please, you have to listen to me. Today, I-”

“Yeah, I know I got it all wrong from the start.” He interrupts you again. Shut up!, you want to scream. Let me fucking speak!

However, you can’t speak anymore when you notice the tears dripping down his face.

Jungkook is crying.

It’s your fault.

He passes both hands over his face as quickly as the first tears started to fall and sighs heavily. He takes his bag from the floor and shoves it over his shoulder again, turning around before you can see his face again, before you have the chance to say anything.

“I’m going home. You should go home, too.”

And he starts to walk down the stairs way too fast.

Your body is moving before your mind registers and you try to catch up to him. “Jungkook, wait-”

“Don’t.”

Is the only thing he says without looking back.

This makes you stop.

You watch, frozen in place, as he walks down the stairs. You keep your eyes on him as he crosses the empty square again. He’s almost running.

He wants to get away from you as soon as possible.

You know Jungkook too well. You know that, even if you followed him, even if you insisted, he wouldn’t want to hear you anyway. He’d probably despise you even more. This is what made you freeze.

You suddenly feel your legs get weak and sit down on the stair steps. Not only your legs, actually. All of your limbs feel heavy. 

You don’t remember the last time you cried like this. The unstoppable tears just coming and coming and the sobs barely let you breathe. 

You’re crying because you’re ashamed of what just happened at the bar - how Mike made you feel humiliated in front of all those people. You’re guilty because you weren’t honest with Taehyung and now there’s no way back - you let him believe in whatever he wanted to believe instead of making things clear, and now he’s hurt.

And the worst of all.

You’ve been hurting Jungkook so bad for so long without realizing. You hurt the person you cared about the most. 

All of it is your fault.

God, it hurts so much.

You know Jungkook too well. He’s the person that has been always there with you for better or for worse. You always knew you’d have each other’s backs no matter what happens; he’s a part of you, the most important, most precious part of you.

This time, you genuinely don’t know what will happen from now on.

This time... you don’t know if Jungkook will ever forgive you.

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

DM has a piece by Alexandra Shulman, Alexandra Shulman, former editor-in-chief of British Vogue, she was also the longest serving editor in the history of the publication, from 1992 to 2017 (succeeded by Edward Enninful). Shulman started her career in 1982 at Tatler.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-9334003/ALEXANDRA-SHULMAN-know-efforts-aides-make-Meghan-welcome-didnt-want-help.html

"I know the efforts Royal aides made to make Meghan feel welcome. She just didn’t want their kind of help"

By ALEXANDRA SHULMAN FOR THE DAILY MAIL

PUBLISHED: 17:27 EST, 6 March 2021 | UPDATED: 17:30 EST, 6 March 2021

Before the Duke and Duchess of Sussex married, a professional creative, well used to the intricacies and diplomacy involved in working with Royal households, was interviewed for a role by Meghan.

A mutual friend ran into the candidate immediately after the interview and asked excitedly how the experience had been.

The reply did not sound encouraging. ‘Well. Let’s just say it was like The Devil Wears Prada. And I was not Meryl Streep.’

Judging by the bullying allegations that have now emerged in a leaked email from the Royal couple’s then communications secretary, Jason Knauf, this was not an uncommon reaction.

I have met Knauf many times and I have to say that he must have felt pretty hard-pushed to do something that could undermine any of his bosses.

With her beautiful son Archie, current pregnancy, dashing Prince, stonking commercial deals, Montecito mansion and now her global fame, you would think that the Duchess of Sussex might feel… job done.

What more could she possibly wish for? But as we will be hearing on her Oprah interview (and how I wish I was strong-willed enough not to watch it), that is very far from how she feels.

She is aggrieved. She is a woman much misunderstood. She was, until she was able to flee to Santa Barbara, a voiceless victim like so many of the abused women she constantly tells us she supports.

And who were these tormentors? Well, first up are, apparently, the British media, whom her husband has long also disliked. But a close second are those Royal courtiers and aides who peopled the world she was expected to operate in when she arrived to live here.

One of the striking things about Kensington Palace – the centre of ops for both the Cambridges and Harry when Meghan Markle moved in – is how very old-fashioned it is; think brick-walled cloisters, Jammie Dodgers and hunting prints, strangely muted and dim.

KP, as everyone calls it, is actually a labyrinth of small rooms and neatly proportioned apartments with battalions of young staff steering visitors around the corridors to their final destination.

Like many palaces, it is literally inward-looking with not much of a view and a little bit claustrophobic. As a confirmed California girl, Meghan no doubt found it so. And probably a bit depressing.

The staff who work at KP, like those at Clarence House and Buckingham Palace, are a hugely industrious bunch, happy to put in incredibly long hours for comparatively low salaries because they enjoy the status of working for the Royal Family. And they care. They care a great deal about protecting the Royals in every way, from organising the details of daily life to their image and security.

I remember meeting Knauf for the first time. He was a good-looking young American (a direct contemporary of Harry) wearing a formal grey suit and the requisite palace lanyard, and I found him quite daunting.

He didn’t seem big on small talk or even the smallest joke, and clearly took the view that this meeting was mine to lose. He was the one in control. As I got to know him better, I discovered he has a great sense of humour but, even off-duty, he was implacably loyal to his bosses.

The idea that he, or anyone working alongside him, would have had any interest in not supporting the incoming Meghan Markle as she tried to navigate this new world is simply not credible.

In truth, the opposite is true. Even before Meghan arrived, I know for a fact that the KP team were busy rallying a group of interesting and influential people who might be helpful and friendly to her in a new country.

They had learnt from the sad story of Princess Diana that letting a newcomer flounder in the somewhat archaic Royal pool, where they could feel isolated and unsupported, could be disastrous.

But herein lay the problem. It turns out that Meghan did not want guidance or support, or certainly not of the kind she was getting. No, as we later learnt in her interview with Tom Bradby on the South Africa tour, she wanted to be asked how she felt.

Knauf’s email raising concerns about Meghan’s intimidating behaviour came about after a growing number of complaints – all from women – in Kensington Palace.

At that time in 2018, the corporate world was finally beginning to take accusations of bullying and bad workplace practice seriously – and Knauf, an accomplished corporate professional, had his ear close enough to the ground to know that such things couldn’t be allowed to fester, even in a palace.

The decision to confront this toxic situation would have been nightmarish to make. The last thing Knauf would have wanted was the idea that he and his colleagues were ganging up against Meghan.

In addition, Harry and William were still linked by their joint foundation and a huge amount of behind-the-scenes work had been put into developing the notion of the two brothers as emotionally literate, empowering, modern Princes – and nobody wanted the whole thing to fall apart because of the new wife on the scene.

So, no doubt to begin with, allowances would have been made for Meghan being used to a different workplace culture. The serried ranks of polite young women in KP, with their unassuming clothes and understated make-up, all used to working quietly and cautiously in a certain way, may have appeared lacklustre to her.

But reports that staff were bothered by her sending 5am emails from her yoga mat, as if that were too demanding, would have been wide of the mark. Employees in the Royal offices know they have signed up for 24/7. Pretty well every day of the year. It’s less of a job than a vocation involving a big slurp of the Kool Aid and being prepared to put your own life on the back-burner.

Although we might think that we Brits have a more hierarchical culture than the Americans, the US workplace is far more status-led, with much more visible deference expected from juniors to seniors.

Meghan would have been used to the noisy can-do ethos of that arena in contrast to the measured but often more effective British approach.

In the States, at least until very recently, it was not uncommon for employers to scream and shout when they couldn’t get what they wanted – right now. Harry’s ‘What Meghan wants, Meghan gets’ admonishment, so jarring to our ears, would have been an entirely acceptable mantra in many an American institution.

But perhaps more difficult than a clash over working styles for the team who worked for Meghan, and possibly for Meghan herself, is that they seemed unable to provide her with what she wanted. Or even to know what that was.

What was clear though was what she didn’t want: being told what she could and couldn’t do.

I have always thought that an American woman I know found me patronising because, on our first meeting when she was new in town, I suggested places and people she might be interested in. She lost no time in telling me that she knew it all already. Meghan clearly felt similarly.

Unlike the Princess of Wales, Meghan arrived on the scene as a woman in her 30s, with friends and connections, experience and opinions all bedded in. She knew what she liked and wanted, and had no interest in anyone thinking there might be any gaps where she would appreciate a bit of advice.

And unlike Catherine Middleton, who, by the time she married Prince William, had experienced years of living in the Royal goldfish bowl with its oxygen of protocol and precedence, Meghan would have been confounded by what might seem ridiculous prohibitions and rules. 

Maybe it’s not surprising that she shot the hapless messengers, venting frustration on the team trying to help, and drove them away. Her lawyers deny bullying ever took place, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a bully acknowledge themselves as such. Often they don’t even recognise they are doing it.

You have only to hear the way Meghan refers to The Firm (Prince Philip’s term for the working Royals), as if it were a cross between the Cosa Nostra and the Scientologists, to know that Team Sussex will no doubt regard the timing of the release of these accusations as directly targeting Meghan in revenge for the Oprah interview. And they may well be right.

But such is the Oprah machine’s build-up of the revelations of this interview (and let’s not forget one being broadcast as Prince Philip lies in hospital, which unless the Sussexes had rubbish lawyers, they would have reserved the ability to postpone), it was probably too much too expect, of even our usually buttoned-up Royals, to sit back and take it.

After all, they, like Meghan, are only human.

[tomurasprincess]

how about “Cry for me, baby.” and the word bites with kirishima 👀💓

Pairing: Kirishima x Reader Quote: Cry for me, baby. Word: Bites Warnings: dubcon, blackmail, coercion, sexual harassment, blood play, biting, yandere Note: I really really love writing pervy Kiri. 👀

~~~~

“Bend over my desk.”

You gape in disbelief at the statement that just came from the mouth of your boss, Eijiro Kirishima. The pro hero Red Riot, who you are interning under.

“I - what? I don’t,” your sentence trails off into silence.

“You heard me. Bend over my desk.” He makes the statement so casually, like it’s nothing.

You shake your head emphatically. “No, that is so inappropriate!”

“Oh, I see,” Kirishima hums in acknowledgement. “You don’t want to work in the hero business anymore.”

You are left so off balance in the conversation that you don’t know where he is going with this. “Of course I do!”

“Because I can ensure that happens.” Kirishima smiles at you, the very picture of the chivalrous Red Riot the media loves.

Finally it hits you, what he means. Fear slides up your spine. “You wouldn’t do that, you’re a hero!”

“Of course, a strong manly hero,” he chuckles. “That’s why I deserve the occasional reward, don’t you think?”

“I’ll report you.” You start to slowly back up towards the door. “Let everyone know how you really are.”

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you, baby.” He grins, an easygoing lopsided smile that used to make your heart do a flip. “Who would believe a little intern like you over the great Red Riot?”

You didn’t want to admit it, but deep in your heart you knew it was true. He is universally loved. Nobody has a single bad thing to say about him. Compared to him, you’re nothing.

A tear slides down your face as you realize the reality of your situation. He smirks as he sees your resolve crumbling, and motions you over to him.

You walk towards him slowly, like it’s a death sentence. “Aww, baby, don’t look so glum,” he coos at you. “I promise I’ll treat you well.”

In no time at all, you stand before him. “Now bend over.”

You do as he says, bending over the desk with your ass sticking in the air. You try not to think about what is about to happen.

“Fuck baby, you even wore a skirt,” he chuckles as he pulls your skirt down and lets it fall to the floor. “It’s like you wanted this to happen.” Your panties are next to go, as he slips them into his desk drawer.

He wastes no time running a finger up your folds and groans as his fingers come away wet with your slick. “God, I knew it.” He raises his fingers up to his mouth as he sucks your juices off his fingers. “You do want this, or else you wouldn’t be so wet.”

You start to whimper out a denial, until he slips two fingers inside of you easily. He curls them up inside you, thrusting hard against your walls before adding another finger.

“God I can’t wait to be inside you.” He pulls his fingers out of you. You hear him unzipping his pants behind you and you start to tremble.

You sneak a glance behind you and see him pumping his cock in his hand. Your eyes widen as you see how huge he is, and you worry how that’s going to fit inside you.

He sees your worried look and grins. “You’re so wet that it shouldn’t hurt.”

He begins to push inside you, and the stretch of your muscles around his length has you hissing in pain. He gives a dark chuckle. “Well, not much anyway.”

He finally bottoms out inside you and stills to allow you to get used to his size. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so full, so stuffed.

And then he begins to move and you realize differently. His cock stretches you even more with each thrust, and you feel every single vein as they drag along the inner walls of your cunt.

“Oh fuck, baby, you’re so tight,” he hisses out as he grabs your hips to switch his angle a bit.

You let out a gasp as he quickly finds the spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. He begins to pound into your soaking pussy, and you already feel the coil inside of you tightening.

He grabs your hair and forces your back into an arch so he can plant open mouthed kisses down the column of your neck.

The kisses quickly turn harsh as he sucks on your skin before clamping down hard with his sharp teeth. You whine as you feel the blood well up and trickle down your neck.

“I’ve wanted to mark you ever since I first saw you.”

His pace increases, his balls slapping against your clit with every thrust as the wet noises of skin slapping against skin fills the room. You let out a squeal as you clench down around his cock, causing him to let out a low groan.

He continues to place kisses down your neck, biting down every so often and breaking your skin. The blood is running all the way down your front now, and you look down to watch it drip down onto his desk.

The blood loss has your head spinning, and tears run down your cheeks at both the intense pleasure and pain.

“That’s it,” he coos into your ear, “cry for me baby.”

You feel Kirishima’s cock twitch inside your heat and you realize he’s going to cum. He reaches around to rub circles against your throbbing clit, and the muscles in your stomach tighten.

He slams all the way up to your cervix before locking his knees as he climaxes inside you. The feeling of his hot cum and the teeth in your neck pushes you over the edge as well.

As you struggle to come down from your high, he gently removes the teeth from your neck before pulling you up off the desk and wrapping his arms around you. He places soft kisses over all the marks he made, soothing them with his tongue.

You gently cry against his chest as he runs his hands through your hair.

“You did so well, baby.” When your crying quiets, he pulls you back a bit before planting a kiss on your forehead.

“Now here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go back out there, with my cum dripping down your legs, and you’re going to act like nothing happened.”

Tears run down your face as he twists a piece of your hair around his fingers. “You know what will happen if you say anything, right?”

You give a quick nod. He gives a radiant smile, the same smile that has everyone fooled about his true nature. “I think you’re going to do great as my new secretary, baby.”

~~~~

Tags: @lady-bakuhoe, @ikinabi, @monst, @thewheezingwyvern, @dee-madwriter, @lildreamer93, @animewh0re, @yaoyorozuwrites, @kittygonyan, @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love, @thoserosecrimes, @mhafanfics19, @mothwithteeth, @redbeanteax

I’ve decided to put together a more complete taglist, so comment or DM me if you want added to it!

[wxminjun]

hey hey hey it’s dash (21+, s/h, gmt), here with your boy minjun ! peak leo king here to ruin your lives. i swear he’s good peoples, perhaps a little self-centred but he means well. if you wanna read more about him, here’s his bio and dossier but you can find below some spark notes and plot bunnies too ! without further adieu, let’s get this show on the road, like this post and i’ll slide into those dms to plot. alternatively you can hmu on discord ( 𝓮𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓽#3337 )

leo sun, leo moon, aries rising ( so much fire in his chart its painful )

born into a military family of fire fairies. he’s the penultimate of four siblings and the only boy to three sisters ( so bring on the weird middle child complex )

his mother works in politics as secretary of defence whereas his father is stay at home dad who runs a tight ship at his wife’s command

minjun pretty much grew up running military drills with his siblings so very much lived that military kid life. early mornings, bed made with hospital corners, clothes folded in neat squares at the very end, ducks in a row and all that jazz

he’s quite athletic and this sort of competitive and militant lifestyle just cultivated his love for movement. he is particularly fond of running and when he realises he can build muscle to make him cut through the air faster, ya boy just goes with it

kind of hated that he wasn’t revered nearly as much a sisters were, particularly his youngest sister who displayed talents to become a great guardian as a CHILD

so his response is to pick up a trumpet and teach himself to play okay go awf ig

he’s not great tbh just great enough to be considered to play small gigs in local pubs and dive bars and he kinda of gets along with that

until his mom gets sick of his shit and wants him to do something with his life so he become a personal trainer

he’s a flirt and it comes with the job to attract customers so do find him by the weights section talking to fairies rather than working

when the academy opens, his mother threatens to kick him out on a because really what sort of honour are you bringing to our family. eldest sister’s a guardian, the younger sister well she’s on her way to a affluent career in politics, the youngest has already enrolled into the academy ( wanted connection here hey hello hi ) vibe. so his baby sis helps him out

and voila here he is !

plot bunnies 

gym rats who he’s either trained back in the day, had a session with on campus or you maybe got tired of him yelling at you at 6am in the morning

people who used to witness him play jazz at gigs who supported him out of pity or thought he was pretty

he’s had a slew of girlfriends, not the best boyfriend out there with his penchant for flirtation. give the guy some exes

an arranged marriage situation because who would the great kim yeona be if her specialist son didn’t end up marrying a fire fairy ( this sort of bondage to a role suits 

someone who helps him with the theory stuff bc he’s just not that bright the gods help him

someone he helps with combat because the boy is all brawns 

[burnsopale]

Honorary

(Cross-posted to Ao3 as part of the 25th of may fest, but honestly it’s mostly just a long tumblr post, so ...)

It’s the final days of the school year, and Lord Downey is in his office, looking over the coming exams one last time to see that all have their time, place and proper staff, and that nothing conflicts or has been forgotten. There is a timid knock on the door.

“Come.”

It’s his secretary, Mr Tenpence. He is carrying an open envelope and looks unusually pale and nervous.

“Yes?” says Downey impatiently. “What is it?”

Tenpence clears his throat. “It’s, um ...” He draws himself up and continues with shaky determination. “It’s about the elevation of new honoraries, Sir. I’ve been gathering up the suggestions as usual, and, um, uh ...”

Downey pushes away the papers he was reading. “I expected that list on my desk days ago, Tenpence. What’s the delay?”

“It’s ... the students, Sir. They’ve put forth a candidate.”

Downey merely raises an eyebrow. “That’s not unusual. Is it Bratwaith again? We’re not giving his mother honorary membership, and if he asks again, I will make her part of the graduation exam. You can tell him that.”

Tenpence draws a breath. “No, it’s ... Well, Bratwaith’s signature is there, Sir, and ... uh ... so is his mother’s, but it’s not just them, it’s the student body ... Practically all the students, Sir. Including a number of alumni and ... and even some members of staff, Sir.”

Interested now, Downey leans back in his chair. “Who are they suggesting?” He racks his mind trying to think who it could be. Some overlooked old professor, perhaps, or a bit of charitable feeling towards one of the household staff, or just a prank, like that time someone suggested CMOT Dibbler for his contribution to the study of poisons.

Tenpence shifts uneasily on the spot. “A-apparently, the students feel that they owe a great deal to the ... the ... Special Assignment, Sir. Even though it’s just a plume off his helmet and not his actual head anymore, it’s become somewhat of a rite of passage, and they thought it would be only right to honour ... Sir?”

Downey’s vision had gone black for a moment. His eyelids twitch. He looks at Tenpence through a red haze. “No,” he snarls.

“They seem to have anticipated you saying that, Sir,” Tenpence squeaks, “So they sent it ... uh ...” He holds out the envelope with a shaking hand without coming any closer, even though Downey can’t reach him from behind the desk. “They sent it to the P... the P... the provost for approval.”

“A provost?” Downey stands up. “Which provost?” No one but him has the authority to approve ... Wait. No. He all but leaps across the desk and snatches the envelope out of his secretary’s hand, almost ripping the letter as he yanks it out. It’s in the man’s own handwriting, not Drumknott’s; old Dog-botherer replied personally.

 Capital idea! You have my complete support. Good luck getting him to accept it, though.

 Regards Lord Havelock Vetinari, DMAP, DM, DGS, MA, MPE, MASc, MIDD, BScI & DiPE Provost of Assassins Patrician of Ankh-Morpork

Downey’s fingers dig into the letter. “I am not-”

Nine fools on a horse honk loudly past the wide-open window.

“I am not-“

The fools return, now numbering eleven.

“I AM NOT,” Downey howls, grabbing a crossbow from his desk and stalking to the window, “making Commander Sam bloody Vimes an honorary member of the Assassins guild!” He sights, shoots, there’s one last sad honk, and then Downey slams the window shut. “Vetinari can go hang!”

“It’s too late, Sir,” Tenpence whimpers, backing away. “The letter has already been sent.”

Downey laughs like a maniac. “But he won’t accept it! Ha! He would never accept it! He hates us! Ha ha! He wouldn’t accept in a hundred years!”

Two days later, the reply is on his desk.

 I accept! Lady Sybil is so excited about the ceremony; she’s never seen the inside of the Assassins Guild before. Please reassign any last minute student trials, as I’ll be busy working on my speech.

 Regards

 His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch

From his own desk outside the open door, Tenpence sees Downey tearing the letter apart with his teeth and chewing it, and wisely decides it’s time for him to be gone for an hour or two.

“I’m surprised you accepted,” says Vetinari on the big day, sipping his drink.

“I wasn’t going to,” Vimes says. “But then I realised how much it would piss off Downey.”

Lord Downey is sitting at the faculty table all alone. His face has been stuck in a permanent grimace of rage since the part of the acceptance speech where Vimes thanked him personally for this honour and promised to stop by often.

Vetinari coughs. “Yes, well, I hope you had some other reason than that.”

Vimes looks out over the host of black-clad students. His wife, in her pale blue dress, stands out like a diamond on black velvet. She’s surrounded by a group of enthusiastic young ladies. “Sybil reminded me that we’ve had some good kids come by over the years. She’s made a tea-club for a few of them, the descent ones, and they’ve adopted her as an aunt of sorts. Tell her all about their woes, apparently, I wouldn’t know, I’m not allowed to attend. But I feel like we can make a difference with them; pull some of the privilege out of their arses and knock some sense into their vacant little heads.”

“Your faith in the upper social strata of Ankh-Morpork is inspiring,” Vetinari mutters. He is pleased though; remembers that without his own aunt, school would have been one long misery. Sybil, who knows what that’s like herself, should do those kids some real good.

And attempting the plumes on Sir Samuel’s helmet is a good hands-on learning experience that teaches the students such nuggets of wisdom as “you are never as well prepared as you think you are”, “don’t expect life to respect your rules” and of course “avoid the butler at all costs, no seriously, even Sir Samuel himself is merciful in comparison, I’m saying this for your own good, he will bite your face off, don’t go near him”.

“Even rotten trees can bear some good fruit,” Vimes says cheerfully. “You just have to pick it early. And you can thank us in ten years or so when those kids are on the Rats Council and they are slightly less of a pain in your arse than their parents were.”

Vetinari actually smiles. “You anticipate we’ll still be doing this in ten years?”

“I think so. Unless Downey kills us first.”

Vetinari raises his glass to the man on the opposite side of the room, who is even now doing his best to murder them with his eyes alone.

“It’s a date, then, Your Grace. I’ve always thought that Lord Downey’s true calling lay in the guild next door.”

“We can always suggest they give him an honorary membership,” Vimes says, grinning into his fruit juice.

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

The Iowa Caucus Happened

A job offer slides into Rafael’s DMs as he waits to find out if it’ll be a new start or prison on February 8.

Accidental Feminist Icon

Delete the Twitter app, Mr. Barba

“Mister Barba?”

Rafael didn’t like hearing his name from the young woman behind him, especially not given what he’d done. He’d texted Carmen on the first day of the trial, and she’d agreed to look into the offers from attorneys he knew, and some he didn’t, while he sat beside Dworkin and emotionally prepared himself to testify. The ones he’d looked at the night before came from people he didn’t like or were last resorts. He’d moved from his visceral response to finding law to back his actions. Applying logic could let him detangle himself from his conflicted emotions. Catholic guilt wrestled his humanity. That said, he also found himself desperate to introduce Ollie to music as Carmen worked from his apartment that first afternoon, not caring for once as the toddler drooled or sneezed or spilled all over him.

“Yes?” he asked, taking his coffee from the cart. “I’m sorry, have we met?”

“We haven’t. I follow you on Twitter.”

“Ah,” he said, shifting awkwardly. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss-”

“Rachel Sullivan. I have, like, a reading Twitter.”

“I’ve seen that! Read with Rachel? Your icon is a copy of Howl?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, chuckling. “I just- listen, I know it’s bad what’s going on and a lot of people are really hurt and going after you. Do I get it? No. But, I think you didn’t get a good choice, and you did what’s right for you. When it seems impossible, it’s not my place to judge something I can’t fathom. And a lot of people feel the same. A bunch of us have a group chat and we hope everything goes well and you get to start again.”

It was a stark contrast to his interaction with mami or emails from church ladies. There was an acknowledgement of disagreement, but he needed more people to respect that they weren’t there like she did. He also remembered watching his father die, and while he didn’t like the man, he regretted not ending that pain. It only drew out hurt for everyone. 

“Thank you, Rachel. That really means the world to me.”

“Good luck today,” she said, giving him a wave when she took her coffee and left. By the end of the day, Rafael hated Peter Stone for being a damn good prosecutor, and he wondered if there were any cases he’d tried, especially the ones before SVU that he was wrong on. He made his way into a new bar, definitely not his usual during all of this, and he sat and drafted his resignation. It took longer than he cared to admit, and he restarted and reread it time and time again. By the time he was drunk, he’d written something he could proofread the next morning and ignored calls from Olivia, Carmen, and mami. 

He decided it was time to do what he had been dreading, logging into Twitter. Since Carmen had cleaned it up, more people had found him, and he was able to easily ignore anything hateful by skimming for murder or murderer in the body of the tweet. He skipped those, and Rafael was surprised to see some apathy, sympathy, or respect for his reasoning. Lazily, he scrolled his direct messages. A select few of the people who knew him contacted him with revulsion, but his filtered messages were filled with vitriol. He found Rachel’s account again, following her back and deciding he could break his unspoken rule of only following people he knew or the occasional blog/podcast/museum/celebrity. If anyone contacted him with kindness, he was now more open to the reciprocity of Twitter; no one would be asking him to prosecute their case soon.  

He saw a message from Tripp Greene. In Harvard, they’d had an unspoken alliance as the two scholarship kids in their cohort, a silent allegiance that continued into law school. There were very few people Rafael respected personally from Harvard, but Tripp had remained kind, even if he worked in something as ruthless as politics. They’d been reunited by Rafael’s uptick in Twitter popularity. He was more proud than he should be by the potential presidential candidates that had followed him. Rafael should have known Tripp would reach out; he was ever the silent cheerleader and had watched a sibling die on life support when he was at Harvard. They’d discussed the morality of pulling plugs and the selfish desire to keep people alive, though most of it had been Tripp talking and Rafael listening.

While moving to Iowa seemed extreme, he was acutely aware that he would end up haunting the DA’s office and Manhattan SVU like some ghost of ADAs past instead of moving forward. His mother had a boyfriend and looming retirement that seemed likely to take the pair to Miami, where she could play grandma to his grandchildren. There was nothing left for him here but Carmen, and while a great friend, she was not enough to erase the last twenty-one years of his life. When Carmen called for the fifth time that night, he ignored it, but it was quickly followed by Answer the phone or I tell Olivia I haven’t heard from you. With a groan, he answered when Carmen called again sixty seconds later.

“I’m fine. I don’t want to delve back into a play by play of my day.”

“That’s why you’re drunk at seven o’clock,” she said, her tone thick with sarcasm as she pretended that solved everything.

“It’s only been two hours?”

“You’re not at Forlini’s.”

“I’m not hanging out with Stone.”

“Send me your location. I just picked Ollie up from mom’s.”

“Take your son home, Carmen. I’ll be fine.”

“But we could talk about how much I also hate Stone. I’ll even stop and let you grab take out from that Cuban place you like.”

“Deal,” he acquiesced, motioning he wanted to close his tab. “Call me when you’re close.”

“Deal. ETA is about fifteen minutes.”

He polished off his scotch, signing the check and tipping well before taking his briefcase and leaning against the wall as he waited for Carmen’s SUV. She waved at him out the window, and he hurried into her passenger seat. Though he always knew that she was a great secretary and assistant, Carmen was proving to be the friend he needed right now. Olivia, in the few phone calls they had, was unwilling to discuss anything but the case. She was in cop mode, and she talked to him like she could swoop in and fix what he had done. While she thought he didn’t know, she’d talked to McCoy, talked to Stone, talked to anyone who would listen. But what she didn’t understand is that he’d accepted going to prison was a possibility, but it was one he felt was worth it.

“Barba!” he heard from the backseat, smiling softly to see Ollie more awake than he’d expected. He’d seen the boy periodically, mostly during evening handoffs when Carmen’s mother would drop him off so Carmen could take him home. There were a lot of single mothers in his life, and all were exceptional. The last few days, Carmen and Ollie both had spent a lot of time with him. He kept introducing Ollie to music and movies and foods like he could make up for everything Drew wouldn’t experience by making sure Ollie did.

“Oliver!” he smiled, twisting around to smile at him. The boy kicked his leg, and the blue stripe on the rubber of his sneakers lit up. “I like your shoes.”’

“Thanks,” he giggled, kicking again. 

“You’re good with him,” Carmen smiled, the navigation now leading her to get his take out. 

“He’s a good kid. Noah made me better with kids. Liv said I held him like a sack of flour at first.”

“You’ll be ready by the time you have your own.”

“I work too much.”

“That can change.”

“I don’t deserve to have a child,” he shrugged, and he could see Carmen purse her lips. “I don’t. I wouldn’t be good at it anyway. Wouldn’t be fair. Besides, I might end up like dad. No kid deserves that shit.”

“Bad word!” Ollie scolded, tablet in hand as he watched a movie.

“Sorry, Ollie. Stuff.”

“You’ve never told me what he did.”

“He wanted heterosexual, toxic machismo and got a swarmy, emotional bisexual.”

“You’re not that emotional.”

“He took care of that,” he said darkly. “I used to cry when he went after mami. That turned his attention to me.”

Carmen knew there was nothing she could say, so instead she silently took his hand, squeezing softly. He was taken aback at first, but he kept her hand loosely in his as his head lulled against the headrest. It was strangely grounding, the physical affection. He’d felt like he was swimming the last few days as memories of his father, his father’s death, his childhood, and each case he tried bubbled up. That wasn’t including the vision of baby drew and Maggie in the hospital room that lingered everywhere. 

The conflicting guilt and conviction he’d done the right thing also broke a damn and the feelings he’d suppressed- loneliness, guilt, abandonment, distrust- were all bubbling to the surface. He’d spent so much of his life trying not to process them so he could focus on a conviction rate and moving forward that he didn’t have the tools everyone else did sometimes. Right now, Carmen felt like an anchor, and he was grateful for her. 

He got out of the car when Carmen parked, ordering enough food for three adults, one take out container containing whatever he thought a toddler could handle. Soon enough, they were settled in his living room and eating, though Ollie had minimal interest in the pork, beans, and rice in front of him. The thought crossed his mind that when he took one of the out of state jobs, he wouldn’t have Carmen there like this. He was sure this friendship would be short lived; when he didn’t need her anymore, she’d leave him. That’s what usually happened, wasn’t it? She just felt bad for him.

“I’m moving to Iowa,” he blurted out before he was able to spiral into the self loathing he’d recently discovered.

“That’s far,” she said, and he thought he could detect sadness in her voice.

“There’s FaceTime.”

“Not quite the same, but I’ll take it.”

“Tripp understands,” he said, sobering up as the food hit his stomach. “He lost a sister. Watched someone dying like with my dad except she’d been born that way. It was years, Carmen.”

“That’s a lot. I’m going to miss you, Rafael. Ollie will too.”

“Come visit. If the tickets are bad, I’ll pay. Or cover renting a car.”

“You’re drunk,” she chuckled. 

“Sorry. Best friend. It’s the rules.”

“We’ll come. But I can afford tickets.” 

“Promise if it’ll make things tight, you’ll let me. You’re raising a kid. No kids means I can afford to get my friend the occasional plane ticket.”

“Deal.”

“Next week, will it be Des Moines or prison? Who knows! I’ll probably grow a beard either way. Think they’d recognize me in prison if I grow a beard?” 

“I’ve never seen you with a beard. Stop shaving and we’ll find out.”

She could see Rafael getting tired, head leaning back against the couch and closing his eyes. She preferred when he joked about all of this. They were stuck waiting, and this time the next night they’d probably know. Ollie climbed between them on the couch, and she realized her boss wasn’t the only one almost asleep. 

“You two can stay,” Rafael yawned, hand smoothing Ollie’s curls back. 

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. It’ll be nice not being alone in the morning. And you can stay here to work. We didn’t talk about it, but I know you hate Stone. He’s a good attorney. Doing his job.”

“His job is wrong.”

“That isn’t his fault. If another ADA had done what I did? I’d be prosecuting them.”

“Go get ready for bed,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes. As she scooped Ollie up, she kissed the top of Rafael’s head. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Carmen?” She turned in the doorframe. “Thank you. For all of this.”

“I’m glad to, Raf. Promise you’ll actually sleep.”

“I promise.”

“Night, Barba,” Ollie yawned, waving over his mom’s shoulder as they entered his guest room. Maybe Iowa was going to be too far if he didn’t go to prison. He was getting quite fond of having Carmen around quite quickly. He wasn’t going to be her superior anymore, so this friendship could be something he maintained. 

Olivia would be a given; even if they were primarily united around work, she was also one of his closest friends and maybe not working together would make him relax. Hell, maybe the end of his life in the city would do it. Rafael couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t felt he was chasing an upward trajectory in New York City. Even at Harvard, the plan had been to return. Maybe coming into Des Moines established would let him feel comfortable just existing. 

He liked cooking and reading in the park and going out dancing on occasion. He rarely had time for two options, and the latter made his cheeks red with embarrassment at the prospect of a colleague seeing him during the outing. In Iowa, maybe he could go dancing and take up a new hobby and wear jeans without feeling like something was out of his control. 

He woke up before Carmen, excited to be able to cook for her. He appreciated the fact she was happy to help him, but she had paused her own life for the last few days. Their friendship was relegated to offices and dinners by the office. He’d come to her baby shower and birthday parties and even a holiday party, but that was it and that had other colleagues present. Except maybe the baby shower, but he was determined to buy up whatever was left on her registry when the day came, using mami, abuelita, and the older women at church as pseudonyms to pretend he’d just let family know. 

“You can cook?”

“I just never had time,” he shrugged, tray coming out of the oven.

“You made pastries?” 

“Pastelitos de guayaba.” Carmen didn’t miss how proud he looked as he admired them. They were something he’d always made with family. “They aren’t hard, but abuelita used to make them for me all the time. Puff pastry, sweetened cream cheese and guava paste. Cafe con leche on the way.”

“You couldn’t sleep?” He shook his head, pouring the espresso and adding the milk before placing mugs at the breakfast counter. His mouth was set in a line now, the corners sucked in as he focused on the countertop. Her hand rested on his, giving a squeeze and he rewarded her with a soft smile. “We’ll be helping you pack for Iowa in no time.”

“I hope,” he nodded, biting into a pastry. Ollie came out, eyeing the countertop. “Want one, Oliver?”

“What are they?”

“Delicious,” Carmen groaned, having torn into her own. That was enough for Ollie, who accepted a pastry from Rafael with a soft Thank you before biting into it carefully.

“Wow! It is good!”

“I’m glad you like it.”

It felt a somber affair, despite the pastries, when Carmen saw him off to court. She chose to wait in his apartment, ringer on high and news coverage on. Ollie was easily entertained by the toys she had in the car, and the phones were forwarded to be answerable on her cell phone. By the end of the day, she’d put dinner in his slow cooker and cleaned most everything at least once. And then her phone rang with his ringer. She’d picked one of the other presets for him long ago, and she watched Ollie with his blocks as she answered.

“Rafael?”

“Not guilty,” he exhaled, still unable to believe it as he surveyed his office to begin packing. Her desk was empty, and he didn’t mind today because if she had been here, McCoy would’ve had her helping Stone. Carmen was his assistant, his friend, and it was bad enough to know Stone would probably take his place at work.

“Thank God,” she whispered. “Did you turn the letter in?”

“I put it on Jack’s desk. I’m hoping to be gone buy his return. I think three heavy boxes will cover it. Plus anything I hung, but other than diplomas most of it came with the place.”

“I put dinner on. Ollie and I ran to the store and picked up short ribs and potatoes and carrots. I needed something to do.”

“Nervous you’d be visiting me in prison?”

“You know damn well juries can be swayed. You’ve done it.”

“And I’m safe. I’ll be there in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly. “I’m really glad you get to go to Iowa.”

[followyoursecretsmutblog]

sugar.

Summary: Walter Marshall gets a new neighbor. And she is a bit more than he bargained for. (yes I am aware this is a Fall Out Boy song Sugar, we’re going down, no it was not intensional)

It’s not my fault. I really don’t mean to stare. 

Or grab the bottle of wine while taking a seat facing the window. Watching as my handsome neighbor paces in his kitchen, running a hand threw his hair.

Popping the cork, I settle in my seat, bottle poised at my lips.

In the three months I have lived here, I have yet to actually meet the man. But, according to his mail that I sometimes get, his name is Walter.

Though, I haven’t made a point to go visit him and introduce myself.

Not that I could, we seem to be operating on different schedules. He is away when I am home, and I can only guess he is home when I am away.

I wonder what he does for work to have such odd hours.

Maybe he’s a spy? He does look to be in good shape.

Oh, spicy.

Tipping the bottle, I tilt my head to the side, watching as he bends over to do something.

Even from a distance, the man has a fine ass.

“If he’s straight, and has an ass like that, Imma be pissed.” I whisper into the bottle, taking another swallow.

I wonder what they would feel like. Gripping them in my hands as he fucks me.

A shiver goes down my spine at the thought. A lazy smile on my face as I continue to watch him.

Standing back up, he bends over again, grabbing something off the table. He looks frantic, moving things this way and that. Papers flying everywhere.

Finally, he straightens, holding something in his hand. I see his head move, but I can’t tell anything farther from that.

He dashes out of the room. I hear a door slam, another door open, the roar of an engine and another slam.

Well, I guess he found what he was looking for. And I now lost my view.

Damn. I even pulled out the good wine.

~~~

By the time I head out for work the next morning, he is still not home.

I hope he is okay.

The entire drive to work, I can’t help but think something bad happened. He left in such a rush. But the news doesn’t say anything about an accident or anything. Well, other than that the police captured the man that has been terrorizing the city for the past week.

“Hey, Charlie, how are you?” A voice calls out, pulling me from my thoughts. Looking up I see my boss, Peter walking up to me.

“Hey, Peter. I’m good. How are you? How was dinner last night?” I ask, knowing that he had a date with Susan in reception. 

A blush takes over his face as he scratches the back of his neck. “It went okay. She is a little...adventurous.” he chuckles, looking at me, as if to see my reaction.

“Peter, I know we are cool, but I don’t need to know about your sex life.” I laugh as we step into the elevator together, ready to hide in our cave of monitors.

Working in the IT department of a multibillion-dollar company is so glamorous.

“Great friendships start with these kind of conversations Char. We could be amazing.” 

“First, don’t call me Char, I’m not a stripper. Second, can we be friends? You are my boss after all.” I point out as the elevator dings and the doors open, his secretary and my friend, Scarlett standing ready.

“Hey, Charlie! Good morning!” She smiles as she hands a file to Peter before he could walk away. “I saw you, don’t think you can get away with not signing those! I’ll be in your office to collect them in fifteen minutes, old man!” She calls after him.

Peter just mumbles under his breath. Saying how he was going to fire her, like he does every week, and how he isn’t old, “I’m only 35.”

“Why do you do that to him?” I ask, setting my things at my desk, starting up my computer.

“Because he knows he’s hot shit so I feel the need to bring him down.” She says simply, sitting in my chair. “Men are trash, Charlie.”

In the three months I have lived here, Scarlett has been the biggest help and my greatest confidant. I don’t know what I would do without her.

“You are only saying that because when you try to seduce him he looks the other way.”

“No, I say that because he wants to fuck my best friend and I won’t have that.” She gives a pointed look.

I roll my eyes at her, “Peter does not want to sleep with me. I have told you this how many times?”

“Deny it all you want. But one day, he will ask you out. I know it!”

“I love you, Scar, but you are crazy in thinking that.”

She shrugs as she stands, “Crazy in a good way.” Flipping her hair, she flashes a smile, “Have you spoken to your neighbor yet?”

Now it was my turn to blush. “We can talk about it at lunch.” I mumble as she squeals.

“Can’t wait! See you at 12, babe!”

~~~

I flop on my bed, clothes and shoes still on, mind reeling. I can’t help going over mine and Scarlett’s conversation at lunch.

"So, you just watched him?” Her fork halfway to her mouth. “That’s kinda creepy.”

“I know, okay, but I didn’t walk into my kitchen with the intention of watching him. I was there. He was there. The wine was there.”

Scarlet just looks at me, an eyebrow raised.

“What? I didn’t do it on purpose! He is literally never home when I am, how was I supposed to know?”

“But you still stayed and watched him...”

“He has a great ass?” She looks at me, erupting in laughter.

“Fuck, I’m so creepy.” I mumble to myself, rubbing my face with my hands. With a groan, I drop my hands. “Okay, Charlie, you are going to get up, take off these heels, skirt and shirt, and draw a nice relaxing bath.” I hum at the thought. “With the good wine.”

Sitting up, I look around the room. 

I should really finish unpacking.

I stand as I pull my hair from the evil confines of the rubber band holding it at bay. Kicking off my shoes next, I work the zipper of my skirt, letting it pool to my feet. I turn toward the bathroom, turning the faucet on and stopping the tub, watching as the water begins to slowly fill it.

“Oh, almost forgot the wine!” Walking out, I start unbuttoning my shirt, stopping only to reach for the bottle. “Much better. Now. We relax my friend.” Pulling the cork out, I bring the bottle to my nose, inhaling the sweet smell. 

Bottle in one hand, the other running through my hair, I walk toward my room when there is a knock on the door.

I really don’t wanna.

Knocking continues, a little harder this time.

With a sigh, I turn back around and head for the door, swinging it open.

I am met with a man that has dark curly hair and dull blue eyes. 

That seem to brighten the longer they stare at me.

Huh. Oh.

It is only then, do I realize that I just answered the door in panties, my shirt halfway button down, cleavage on full display and mussed hair.

Leaning against the door, I ask, “What kind of sugar are you looking for, neighbor?”

Good start? Feedback is appreciated!

Tag-list: @hell1129-blog​ - @mary-ann84​ - @luclittlepond​ - @littlefreya - @kittyslove​ 

If you want to be added or dropped from the list DM me!

[iamanonniemouse]

Okay, tumblr was being bitchy so @vector-to-the-heavens ​ had to dm me the questions she wanted to me answer for the Book Recs Ask Game. Let’s goooo--

3: a stand-alone that you wish was part of a series

Hmmmmmmmmm this is a gOOD one and yet I am BLANKING WHY

I guess maybe because I’m just thinking of how many shitty sequels are out there in the world lol

Okay, no honestly?? I can’t think of any book I wanted a sequel to or a series from, because the standalone books I adored all were just so perfectly wrapped up, and I feel like writing more would ruin them??? I SWEAR THIS ISN’T A COP OUT I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES.

But because I make the rules here, I will ABSOLUTELY take this opportunity to gush about a book that I don’t want a sequel to but a book I NEED to tell everyone about lol

I worship this book. I love everything about this book. It’s called Extraordinary Birds, by Sandy Stark-McGinnis. It’s about a girl named December. And it’s about foster care. But it’s about SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. It’s about -- gah I don’t know that I even have words to summarize it other than This book is everything I would ever want a fiction book about adoption/fostering to be. It’s just so good. It was written with such LOVE and such CARE and just !!! Everyone should go read it.

:steps off soapbox:

:shoves this book into everyone’s hands:

62: a book with a forgettable plot but amazing characters

VEC STOP PICKING SUCH GOOD BUT HARD QUESTIONS DAMMIT

I read a book a couple months ago (:checks goodreads: *six months ago) called Fragile Remedy, by Maria Ingrande Mora and it wasn’t a forgettable plot but it was one of those books where the most special thing about it, hands down, was the characters and the way the author wrote the relationships between them. Like, the plot itself was okay? But damn the characters. I would die for them.

86: a book with an insane plot twist

One of the first books I remember reading that had a :gasp: plot twist was The Thief, by Megan Whalen Turner. The entire series is golden, for sure, but this was a book I read when I was probably elementary/middle school and I remember when I got the twist at the end (which really isn’t a HUGE twist in the grand scheme of things) and going O.O AMAZING.

Other plot twisty books I liked include

Bonds of Brass, Emily Skrutskie

Red Rising, Pierce Brown (Pierce Brown is AMAZING at plot twists)

The Poppy War, R.F. Kuang

The Mime Order, Samantha Shannon (book 2 of a series, but the twist on the LAST DAMN PAGE of this book sent me REELING i was like OOOOH SHIT)

104: a fluffy, sweet read

Okay, I’ve got TWO THREE because once again I MAKE THE RULES HERE and also this is going under a cut because wow I got SO carried away

Deal Maker, Lily Morton

Gah, this book is one of my comfort re-reads. It’s soft and sweet and filled with PLENTY of hilarious moments but also just such WARMTH. There is also a cute as hell child named Billy who is my favorite in the world. This book follows a model who ends up working as basically a temporary secretary to an award-winning actor, and it’s GREAT because when the actor (Asa) finds out Jude’s a model, he’s all like oh you’re too stupid for this job but whatever, do your best, and then Jude spends weeks if not MONTHS purposefully screwing everything up just to fuck with Asa. These hijinks include:

Drafting answers to fanmail with increasingly outlandish things

Telling Asa the journalist who arrived was the plumber

Bringing back a child’s suit from the dry cleaners and telling Asa, wide-eyed and innocently, that he thought Asa was going to slim into it

Red, White & Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston

Hilarious. Adorable. Enemies who have to pretend they’re friends -> actual friends -> secretly dating while pretending to be friends. One of those awesome, classic rom com plots except the main characters are the son of the president and a prince of England. Features hilarious moments like

the first son (accidentally!) pushing the prince of England into the wedding cake at a wedding

a bi-awakening that includes the MC trying to figure out if he’s bi and his best friend going, wait you didn’t know?? WAIT ARE YOU COMING OUT TO ME RIGHT NOW? OKAY WAIT LET ME GET MY SUPPORTIVE FACE ON.

a mom who prepares a SLIDESHOW when she finds out her son has been secretly dating the prince of England

demon turkeys (but not really)

our main characters and their friends wildly singing at a karaoke bar

and also really heart-warming, absolutely touching moments like

love letters are OUT love emails are IN, especially emails that have quotes from queer historic figures at the end

“I love him on purpose.”

both characters fighting to be together despite the metric TON of pressures on them not to

a secret date night in a museum after hours

This book is adorable, okay??

Boyfriend Material, Alexis Hall

I recced this in this ask too because it’s just adorable and hilarious. It has a brief bit of angst towards the end for that classic “we broke up but I want you back” bit (that isn’t nearly as cliche as you think it’ll be) but it’s absolutely hilarious and lovely and then hits you RIGHT in the face with feels and then has you laughing anyway because dammit you fell in love with these characters along the way and didn’t even realize. It’s got fake dating (and fake breakups and fake makeups) and crap I actually like you and SO MANY JOKES. And did I mention how damn English it is????

Aside from the joke I mentioned in the other ask, there’s a great scene right at the start of the book where the two main characters are having dinner together and it’s like

Oliver: I’m a barrister. Go on, get it over with, ask me the question everyone asks when they find out I work in criminal defence.

Luc, mind blank and panicking: Do you have sex in the wig?

Oliver:

Luc:

Oliver: The question people usually ask is how I can live with myself, putting murders back on the streets?

Luc: Ah. That’s a good question.

I am belatedly realizing all three of these books are set in England or involve an English character. Oops? I JUST REALLY ENJOY THESE BOOKS OKAY.