#|| I ALMOST feel bad for meg --for believing him--

[johnpriceslamb]

I will always love the idea of being rescued by a cowboy (Arthur Morgan).

Just the image of running away from someone in Saint Denis. Maybe it’s due to a misunderstanding, robbery or simply a creep. Making the dumb mistake of not hiding in a shop and finding yourself in an alleyway trapped. Except the real person in trouble is the stalker because Arthur Morgan is about to serve a knuckle sandwich. Or gun. Doesn’t matter, dead either way.

𝓜𝓨 𝓗𝓔𝓡𝓞 ,

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ˚₊‧꒰ Things take a really wrong turn once visiting Saint Denis to stock up on food for camp. Luckily, Arthur insisted on accompanying you. ꒱

BEFORE YOU PROCEED ! ┊ Hyper-fem(?) ! reader • female ! reader • reader is mentioned 2 be physically shorter than characters mentioned below • gun-slinging mention • brute cowboy bf x shy princess gf • arthur morgan being a complete nut over u • harassment • attempted assault • not proof-read :P • very rushed ‘m sorriiii!!! • 1.6k wrds

“But Arthur—”

“No.”

The small stuffed toy in your hands looks hurt from his rejection, as do your expression on your face. You hug the little guy to your chest, and you put on your best puppy eyes to try and make him change his mind. This usually works, but unfortunately- it did not, this time.

“We ain’t gettin’ that.” He grumbles, lazy eyes looking around the fancy store. He’s uncomfortable, you could tell. From the way he glances at all the bright coloured items sitting preciously on such elegant shelves, you’d think it would’ve costed at least a finger or too to even manage one, the golden floral designs embarked in the corners of the interior, to the fancy looking tiles beneath your feet.

It’s too.. fancy. He stands out like a larger thorn amongst a stem of a rose.

You puff out your cheeks at his slow-growing irritation. Before reluctantly putting it back on the shelf you found it on.

Then, he continues on with a low sigh. Your hand was in his, and he leads you around very similar to a grumpy dad leading his daughter from all the chaos happening which surrounds them. There was too many people, and he feels like he’s about to become crabbier each second will pass being in this awful store.

“We’re here to buy food, not toys.” He grunts, before gently giving you back your empty woven basket.

You begrudgingly force yourself to not reply, sticking close to him.

Suddenly, your eyes perk up at the small sign embedded with ‘Spices’ in bold which hung up from the ceiling. You tug on his sleeve, “Arthur?”

“Hmm?” He looks back. His heart almost aches from the way your beady eyes stare up at him like a small puppy.

“Can we get some spices? Y’know, for the stews Pearson makes. Only a bottle or two!” You pleaded sweetly, gesturing to the sign afar. “It’ll make his food taste more.. appetising.”

He ponders, before nodding slowly. “Hm.. Alright. Get two though, make sure it ain’t so spicy.” He pats your lower back to encourage you to get it quicker. You beam and nod, but before you go, you hand him the basket so he could continue shopping, scampering away to get the said items.

The array of little wooden jars sealed tightly with spices made you in awe. You can practically smell each and one of them from a literal mile away despite the thin layer of sticky-tape which goes around the rim of the jar multiple times.

You unconsciously place a finger on your cheek, pondering on which one to get. Not long, your hands reach up to a jar embedded with the words ‘pepper’ and another reaching up to ‘nut-meg.’ Each selling for only a dollar. Not too bad.

And you feel a towering presence behind you. Believing it was your beloved, you eagerly turn around with a squeak— “I’ve got the!— uh..”

A few blinks and an abrupt pause. It was not Arthur.

Rather, a man with leering eyes, and a predatory-like gaze.

You shift around uncomfortably, “..Um. Can I help you, mister?” Posing to be polite, perhaps the man just wanted help with something.

He stares at you for a bit too long, and you can see his eyes lowering and lowering, before travelling up your figure once again.

He coughs, “Ain’t you a pretty lil’ thang..” Before scratching at his long unkept beard.

Your steps are quick, almost backing into the shelves of spices.

“..Please leave me alone,” You meekly stutter.

He flashes you a crooked teeth grin. “Now why in the hell would I do that?” He takes another step towards you. All instincts inside you rise up quickly, and not long after you pocket the spices inside your light-pink dress before immediately turning to the side to leave.

You don’t notice the fact that he follows you. Only until you reach the same spot Arthur beckoned you to go and get the items you wanted, he wasn’t there. You feel insanely insecure due to the fact that you could not find Arthur amongst the crowd of people inside the large general store. Only then do you stop, and feel..

hot breath hitting your neck.

You squeal, turning around immediately and backing away.

“Get— get the hell away from me!” Your frilly cries cause a few people to turn their heads towards your direction, only to ignore you as soon as they assessed the situation.

He has the same crooked teeth smile on his face as he slowly creeps up to you again. And with that, you hitch up your long floral skirt and run. Run to the exit of the general store with a squeal- only for some crazy man to quickly follow after you.

You want to hit yourself on the head. You didn’t have any guns, nor did you remember to pack the pocket knife Charles gifted you to protect yourself from anyone. You were never one to raise your hands to anyone, nor try to cause conflict.

You bump into a few people, earning scowls and empty threats. You didn’t care, not with a lunatic right on your feet.

“When I catch you—” You hear him heavily breathing, “‘M gon’ do real bad things t’ you, real bad.”

You want to tear up. Badly. But you don’t. Your mind is in shambles as you turn a corner, only to almost run face-to-face to a brick wall which stands tall and high.

You were cornered.

You sob loudly, scratching at the brick walls- you’re well aware that this alone will do absolutely nothing, and your painted nails will probably have cracks on the tips of them. But with panic crumpling your brain, you tend to do things a bit.. weird.

The walls between the two of you are so close it feels like you’re about to faint. An echo of laughter is what catches your attention as you slowly turn around.

“Please, mister!” You plead with a loud sniffle, “I— I— we don’t even know each other!” You let out a loud enough wail when he approached rapidly.

“Ohoh, dumb and pretty. What a package.” He rubs his hands eagerly, almost drooling at your pathetic sight, “You really thought you could outrun me?”

“Don’t make this harder, sweetheart. Just take them frilly lil’ clothes off.. In-fact, why don’t I help ya..”

You clumsily slap him once he’s just a centimetre away from you. Hardly. A low growl escapes his lips, his head turned sideways from that harsh slap.

“You little bit—”

A bullet whizzes past you. It hits the bricks behind you, just a hair-length away. It causes you to yelp loudly, as does the man who was about to slap you back. You peek your head over his shoulder, only to let out a loud cry of relief.

“You better let her go, friend.” The same cowboy who’s uttered the sweetest praise to you and only you, talks in a tone too cold for your liking. Something you’ve never heard nor experience.

“Who the hell is that?” He snarls to you.

“I said, let her go.” Arthur is not afraid to put a bullet through his head. His shoulder is gripped tightly and yanked away from you, leaving you to allow your knees to buckle from shock as you leaned on the wall to help you balance yourself from the shock.

With a harsh bonk to the head with the butt of his revolver, the man slumps on the dirty ground. An obvious purple dent on his head.

Arthur rushes over to your shaking form, immediately scooping you into his arms and squishing you into a tight bear-hug. You’re probably gonna regret the fact that some of your powder will get onto his chest, but you hiccup and hug him tighter for comfort.

You stammer out, “I— he.. I thought I was gonna die..”

He brushes your hair with his burly fingers, “You’re okay, sweetheart. Don’t think about it no more. No one’s gon’ kill ya if I’m here.”

Suddenly, he looks you up and down quickly to assess you. “You ain’t hurt anywhere are you..?”

“No,” You shake your head meekly, “‘M okay. I.. I think I need a bit of time to myself at camp, though.”

“I understand.” He nods and gently puts an arm around your waist to guide you back to the wagon parked a long way away.

His hands brush past against your pockets and notices two hard cylinder shaped objects in them.

Suddenly, your eyes widen, “Oh darn- I-I forgot to pay for the spices!” He’s amused at your lack of profanity used.

He interrupts you with a soft chuckle, before squishing you a bit tighter, “Guess that makes the two of us. Rushed out with the groceries in the basket to find ya and didn’t pay. Reckon we gotta go another route to get to the wagon, passing by the general store will surely just get us into more trouble.”

You could envision that scene playing out. Arthur realising that you weren’t there, and immediately rushing out of the general store with a bunch of items inside the basket to find you.

“Don’t think we’ll be visiting Saint Denis anytime soon.” You feel a tug on your hand as you see a shopkeeper loudly calling out for the two of you.

You squeak and giggle as he easily grabs onto your waist and ran for dear life to the wagon with your shop-lifted grocery items. If you were to give a quick glance to the insides of the basket again, you can see a faint blur of a stuffed toy.

[in1-nutshell]

Hi! Rapidfire on the Lost Light? What would Ultra Magnus reaction to her?

More Rapidfire!

Hope you enjoy!

Rapidfire on the Lost Light

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Cybertronian reader

MTMTE/TFP

Magnus believed that today was the day he was going to get his work completed.

With all the trouble with the time travel incidents and getting everything back in order, he barely had much time to complete his reports.

That was until he heard a bunch of yelling outside his office.

Magnus opening the door: “What in the All—” He pauses seeing an unfamiliar bot with her back to the wall, looking frightened, and Brainstorm with a gun pointed at her. Magnus: “Brainstorm!” He pushes the gun down as the bot scrambles slightly behind him with a look of disbelief. Magnus: “What is the meaning of this? And why were you going to shoot the unarmed bot!?” Rapidfire: “You-You weren’t kidding when you said this was a different universe, huh?” Magnus looks at her then at Brainstorm, who sported a sheepish look. Magnus: “Explain. Now.”

Turns out another one of Brainstorm’s interdimensional inventions had crashed and brought the new bot on the ship.

 Magnus could practically feel the incoming migraine coming in.

The news of the new bot quickly spread throughout the ship, and everyone wanted to see them.

While walking to Swerve’s with Brainstorm and the now identified, Rapidfire, Magnus noticed that the new bot seemed to stick close to his side.

He figured that she would want to stay by his side after the save from Brainstorm.

But at the same time, it didn’t make sense as she was happily chatting with the bot who brought her into this mess in the first place.

Rapidfire is at one of the booths answering questions when Swerve passes her a cube of engex. Swerve: “Here have some engex! I’m sure that interdimensional travel can work up an appetite.” Rapidfire: “Thanks, but is it possible to get some normal energon? Not that I’m picky! I’m just not supposed to drink this yet.” Whirl: “Ha! Not supposed to drink it, what are ya? A Youngling?” Rapidfire: “Umm, yes?” Everyone: “…” Magnus: “What?” Brainstorm: “HOW!? You’re almost the exact size as Megatron!” Rapidfire stiffens a bit: “Yeah, I’m a bit taller than my Megatron back home too…” Tailgate: “Hey, where is Megatron anyways?” Rapidfire: “What?” Ratchet: “He is coming in with Rodimus.” Rapidfire: “Wait this universe has a Ratchet too? And what was this about—” The doors open and in walks in Rodimus and Megatron. Rodimus: “Sorry for the hold up, Megs here—” Rapidfire leaps over the table and tackles Megatron to the ground and starts slamming his helm against the ground. Tailgate holding onto Cyclonus: “By the Allspark!” Rodimus and Magnus try to pry her off Megatron. Rodimus: “HOW ARE YOU THIS STRONG!?” After a long talk, some patch work and several apologies later… Rapidfire: “Once again I apologize—” Megatron: “You have been apologizing for the past 10 minutes, you have already been forgiven.” Rapidfire: “You can blame my father for being polite sir.” Drift: “Father? Who? Must be a Wrecker with your strength and size.” Rapidfire: "The Commander of the Wreckers or what’s left of us.”  Magnus suddenly concern: “How many?” Rapidfire: “…5 counting myself and our newest human Wrecker, I’ll explain Miko later.” There was a lot of whispers and murmurs. Rapidfire: “If you think those numbers are bad, there are only 9 Autobots on Earth, well 8 now that I’m here.” Rodimus: “Sheesh, didn’t Prime want to send more recruits?” Rapidfire: “Umm, Rodimus Prime, right? I meant that as in the only bots online.” The bar fell into a deafening silence, she didn’t like it. Rapidfire: “But We’ll win, I’m sure of it. Magnus and Prime said to have faith then I’ll have faith.”

After the conversation, Rodimus extends his personal welcome to the ship telling her to stay as long as she can.

Which meant until Brainstorm and Perceptor could fix the gun to transport her back.

Rapidfire made fast friends with the former Wreckers and engineers of the ship.

And in a surprise move, also befriended the minibots, stating that she was ‘one of them’.

The crew thought it was a joke… until she showed an old data pad with a picture of her as a sparkling, dwarfed in the palm of Optimus Prime.

Megatron: “Is that Prime?”  Rapidfire: “Yep! Optimus and my father found me on the same day. That was how I looked before the first few weeks.” Tailgate: “You’re so tiny! But you still haven’t told us who your father is.” Rapidfire: “… You still haven’t figured it out? Wait, does he have a different job in this universe? Knew I should have considered that in—” Magnus: “Rapidfire—” Rapidfire: “Not now dad, what else could—” Everyone: “DAD?!” Rapidfire blinking: “Yeah?” Whirl looking back and forth at her and Magnus: “… I want a DNA test.” Rapidfire: “Adopted Whirl, not biological.”

Sadly, this wasn’t the worst reveal from Rapidfire’s visit on the Lost Light.

That award goes to Minimus Ambus reveal.

Minimus had made the mistake in leaving his office without his suit to go get something from his habsuite.

The next thing he hears is a blood curling scream and thunderous pedesteps shaking the ground.

Turns out Rapidfire had gone into the office and had seen the grey mech suit and immediately thought the worst had happened.

She kicked down the door to the med bay holding the suit in her arms, tears streaming down her faceplate pleading for someone to help him.

Ratchet and First Aid were in the middle of explaining the suit when Minimus came in.

She had a blank stare while he had finished his explanation.

By the end, Rapidfire fell to her knees and hugged him tightly.

Rapidfire prefers Minimus to be out of the suit so she can carry him.

Minimus DOES NOT like this.

It was a couple of weeks before the ray was finally fixed.

Many of the bots did not want her to go back.

Whirl tried to baracade her in his habsuite.

But to be fair, Rapidfire did want to smuggle Minimus so he could meet her Magnus.

In Primeverse… Rapidfire falls on top of Bulkhead. Bulkhead: “Kid!” Bulkhead pulls her into a tight hug. She immediately gives one tighter. Rapidfire: “You have no idea the kind of trip I—” Thunderous pede step are heard. Magnus: “RAPIDFIRE!” Rapidfire gets up and gives a nervous smile at the fast-moving bot. Maybe staying in the other dimension wasn’t such a bad idea… Rapidfire: “Hey—” She gets pulled into a tight hug by Magnus, who lets out a shaky sigh. Magnus: “Oh thank the Prime… Are you hurt? What happened? You’re signal went out and--” Rapidfire: “Hey, its fine, everything is fine. I promise I’ll explain everything.” Magnus just held her tighter.

[nothingenoughao3]

Herbert West Was Dead To Begin With (or, why Danbert was always doomed by the original narrative, pt. 1)

Thanks to this post by @gabelish, my brain went in about twenty directions. I have to talk about this or I'm going to end up chewing on my walls, and that's bad for my teeth.

Reading the script of BRIDE, it's... messy. Disorganized. You can tell they pounded this thing out in a month and didn't really have time to revise or edit. What's interesting is seeing the vague shape of a theme despite the rush-job--to get cheeky, it's a bunch of disparate parts that don't quite move in sync. A Bride of an idea that almost, but never quite does, manifest. Especially considering one or two lines that were cut which, it turns out, were integral to understanding that theme.

Let's go over it all, shall we?

Francesca's immediate appeal to Dan feels like a weird choice on the part of the filmmakers. It's asking us to care about a brand-new character without giving us much reason to do so, other than "she's a woman and she's available to the protagonist". This is a big ask in Part 2 of a franchise which, as we witnessed with the collapse of Part 3, relies entirely on the chemistry between the two already-established lead actors. The most boring parts of BRIDE are when Francesca's investigating the Sefton Ward, because neither of the dudes we're here to see are onscreen for a long time, and…

And, well, we'll have to have a big talk about Inherent Value and misogyny/queerphobia/transphobia in Re-Animator, but that'll be for Part 2.

So what's the deal with Francesca? Why is she even here? Is she just there to drive a wedge between Herbert and Dan?

Well, yes. But in addition to being an object kicked between the two leads as needed, she is also an object for the writers' thematic purposes. This purpose is revealed in what Dan says in the infamous scene where they have sex: "So soft... so warm..."

It's the warmth Dan craves, because that is associated with Life.

Francesca is Life. She's associated with food, the real substance of Life--which Herbert rejects. The script even specifies that Dan and Herbert's kitchen should look like it was never used... as though there's no life in it. Fran brings Life to it by preparing food in it. She's also associated with Angel, the dog, who generally senses--not Evil, per se, but the Dead. Angel reacts positively to Fran and to Dan. And Angel tries to attack every reanimate she meets--as well as Herbert.

Dan values and believes in Life. He is seduced by Herbert's quest because he wants to believe that reanimated beings are Alive. But let's be real, he doesn't believe reanimates are Alive. He agrees with Dr. Hill's assertion that reagent "gives the dead the appearance of life". He asserts that Halsey is dead post-reanimation, because, obviously, he doesn't see Halsey as Alive. Later, he perceives the Bride as being a collection of dead human body parts until She's reanimated. At that point, all the stress seems to convince him that she is Alive... until Herbert emphasizes that the Bride is his creation, a being glued together with reagent.

Who, therefore, cannot have Life.

Dan rejects the Bride because he wants Life, someone who is Alive. She's not. This is also why part of his rejection involves him declaring that Meg is dead. The thing that kept Dan on board with the Bride Project was imagining that he was bringing Meg back to Life. Stating that Meg is dead is acknowledging that reagent cannot create Life, so far as Dan's concerned.

Meg's heart is, to me, another symbol. Dan wants it to represent Life, but as the final shot emphasizes, it represents Death. It only had the appearance of Life so long as Dan believed in its validity as a source of Life. Notice that he says "You're not Meg!" in response to the Bride offering him Meg's heart, because it isn't the heart he wanted, only what it stood for. Once he stops clapping his hands and believing, the heart stops beating... and is left in the embalming room, with all the other Dead Things.

They cut several lines where Dan repeatedly referred to Gloria as "Meg". This gives Dan's desires specificity. Dan spends all of BRIDE wanting Meg to Live. That is his central trauma, the source of all his fuckery: he misses Meg and he wants her back. He almost fools himself into thinking she's alive again, then accepts that she's not.

The next best person to escape with, then, would be someone who is Alive.

This is what Francesca gives him.

In the script, Dan resuscitates Francesca successfully once they escape the tomb. He joyfully declares "You're alive!". THAT is what Dan wanted. Life. Someone soft and warm.

To Herbert, though, reanimated life IS Life. He perceives no magical or spiritual dimension to Life the way Dan's implied to (and the narrator of the original stories did). His inability to convince Dan to see things his way is a big part of his downfall in BRIDE, but it also points to a really brutal tragedy underlying the whole plot:

If we take the Integral Cut as canon, and it likely is, then Herbert isn't Alive by Dan's standards, and hasn't been this entire time.

He shoots up reagent. This is in stark contrast, by the way, with the original stories, where Lovecraft emphasized that reagent did nothing whatsoever to living tissue. This is--symbolically, again, I'm not making diagetic claims here--a not-so-subtle declaration that Herbert is Dead. Corpses and body parts get the reagent because they are not a part of Life. And since Herbert gets the reagent, well...

Anything that comes from Herbert cannot be Life. It can only be "the appearance of life". This is why the food Herbert makes looks fake and wrong and is described as "awkwardly made" in the script, unlike Francesca's perfect sauce... Food is Life. Herbert is Dead.

The script of BRIDE suggests that Herbert repeating Dan's "So soft, so warm" line is manipulation, but it sure doesn't come across that way--it comes across as abject begging for Dan to see some kind of value in the Bride Project, and thereby, in him. When the Bride tries to win Dan back over by repeating "You made me!", Herbert, sounding furious, snaps "I made you!". He thematically links himself with Her because she's the big project that will make Dan love only him the Work. He reinforces the theme that he is Dead, or Death.

The way that Herbert gigafucks himself is when he senses that Dan's about to reject the Bride (Death) in favor of Francesca (Life), and Herbert... accidentally confirms this dichotomy with "Forget it, Dan, she's just dead tissue!" That is exactly what Dan didn't want. Herbert objectifies the Bride--but not into just any object. She is turned into a disposable object, a thing they can throw away in a medical biohazard bin. Because she's Dead.

He's trying one last Hail Mary to win Dan back, but their fundamental disagreement on the very nature of Life and Death means Herbert can't even understand how to do it.

Relatedly, Herbert is heavily associated with Dead Places. He is introduced to Dan in the sonofabitchin' morgue and spends almost half his scenes in same. His personal room in Dan's house is Spartan, because Living people need luxury and personal items, and Herbert's... not. He spends most of the rest of his time in the basement--underground, like a grave, get it, hahaha. In BRIDE, we never see his bedroom. Instead, he spends most of his time in the basement/embalming room/secret laboratory which is also underground, and which is interconnected with a tomb in the graveyard. A tomb Herbert willingly tunnels into and accesses regularly, which is totally normal Living behavior and not that of a ghoul...

... and, in the end, he is dragged off into that tomb, and he does not escape. Because he belongs there.

He is Dead (which is why, by applying queer theory, we all think that he's queer and/or trans, about which more in Part 2). Herbert's hard and cold, not soft and warm. He has only the appearance of Life. Everything he creates is Dead.

In the script, when Francesca and Dan meet in Peru, they talk about the cruelty of war, and she says the following: "When the state makes people's lives unnatural, it creates monsters." This is called back when she finds out that Herbert's built Hand Dog out of Angel. She calls Dan a "freak", and accuses him of acting like he's saving people when he's "creating monsters". Because he is behaving like Herbert, he's a freak. A monster. Someone who thinks he's creating Life when he's actually reveling in Death.

Hell, the script describes the reanimate rejects that kill Herbert as "the fruit of his scientific womb", deliberately mocking Herbert's notions that he's creating Life, and also causing me physical pain as a trans dude.

The more I've gone over this theme (in the service of my long-ass fix-it fic), the more it feels like Dan and Herbert were always doomed by the original narrative thanks to this specific, fundamental difference between them. The only way they'd be able to get along long-term again after BRIDE is if one of them changed fundamentally as a person, and not only would neither of them do that, it'd make their dynamic less interesting and engaging to watch. (I mean, shit, I've had to introduce Lovecraftian Great Old Ones to help those two buttheads understand they have a common enemy.)

But yeah. Sorry to say it. Herbert's Dead. That's what made it so easy for Dan to abandon him. Herbert could cut out his own heart and replace it with Meg's. It would not have made any difference. There is nothing, nothing at all, he could have done, not once Dan realized that reagent cannot give Real Life--that it can't bring Meg back to him.

It was always going to end this way. With Herbert lost among the Dead. With Dan fleeing for Life and normalcy.

But that's what fandom's for, fixing all of that... right?

[lostloveletters]

Little Wing (John Brady x OC)

Summary: Kate "Woody" Woodward and John Brady have it bad for each other, except Woody's convinced he doesn't care for her and Brady's convinced he messed up his shot with her. They prove each other wrong.

Note: Woody and Brady’s first kiss fic yay🤭 Title comes from the Jimi Hendrix song (which is on Woody’s playlist).  I know I keep saying this, but I’m so overwhelmed with the response to Woody/Brady, I didn’t expect it at all, and it means so much to me🖤 Do not interact if you’re under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Inevitable historical and technical inaccuracies. Suggestive to a point, but not explicit. Light miscommunication plotline.

Darla had been the one who pointed it out. The Texan wasn’t one for biting her tongue, and expressed earlier that day while they were eating lunch with Meg that John Brady wasn’t making himself scarce around the hardstand, or the hangar. Wherever that downed plane of his was while they were working on it, he’d inevitably show up at some point. 

“‘S like he don’t think we can fix a damn plane,” Darla said through a mouthful of toast, stale from that morning’s breakfast. The guys in the kitchen knew the three of them weren’t ones to pass up food just because it was a few hours old.

“I got the same thing at my pop’s shop back home. These fellas would bring in their cars and tell ‘im they didn’t want me workin’ on them. Half of ‘em didn’t even know how to change a tire,” Meg agreed, her thick Boston accent making Woody have to strain to understand what she was saying sometimes.

Darla shook her head. “Some ‘a these flyboys, I swear to god they got more swagger than sense.”

Woody didn’t want to tell them that Brady’s frequenting their work area might have coincided with the one day he showed up to check on how things were going, and she apparently struck a nerve by trying to be nice—something she was rusty at despite her best efforts. So he’d hang around and watch, sometimes not saying very much at all while puffing away at his pipe. Made her feel tantalizingly scrutinized beneath his stormy gaze.

His crew were all nice enough guys. A little rowdy sometimes, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Still, their pilot’s recent behavior made it tough for her to shake the feeling that he wasn’t all that fond of her. A damn shame, because she had it bad for him. Figured it was the first time she was into a guy who was decent.

Earlier that week, Hambone waited out the English rain in the hangar with her, telling her what he and the rest of them did before the war. Mostly recent high school graduates or everyday working guys. She didn’t find it surprising that the pilot had a degree, but almost couldn’t believe her ears when Hambone told her that Brady was a musician before the war. If anyone deserved to walk around with the swagger most of the pilots did, it was Brady, in her opinion, yet to her, he seemed level-headed and reserved. 

She had left lunch with Darla and Meg that afternoon with a newfound resolve to win Brady over somehow. If not for her own sake, then to at least not make her own faux pas the other girls’ problem.

Her quip to Holly about John Brady and his cockpit was mostly for her best friend��s amusement. Anything in her past she’d remotely consider a relationship boiled down to little more than sex. Never exclusive, and never all that satisfying, either. 

Woody nearly scoffed at herself. As if he’d want anything to do with a woman like her.

“Evening, Lieutenant,” she said as he walked up.

He sighed, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You don’t have to be so formal, Woody. It’s just us out here.”

“Bucky and Holly are listening to the Yankees at the Nationals.” She nodded in the direction of the jeep in the distance. “They made some bet on it.”

“I hardly think that counts considering how far they are.”

She hesitated. “If you say so.” Stopped herself from adding ‘sir’ at the end. 

The following ten or so minutes were all hers. Pointed out every inch of the plane that’d been worked on since he last came by. Had an answer for all of his questions or concerns. She didn’t miss a single detail, wanting him to know yes, she was serious, and yes, she could fix a damn plane. Got the same thrill she did when she’d tell people how she souped up their cars to race, watching the appreciation and at times disbelief for her work on their face.

“Still got some kinks to work out, but it should be coming along a lot quicker now,” she said.

“You did all of that since yesterday?”

“I can’t take all the credit. Darla and Meg helped out, too.”

He cracked a grin, his pipe between his teeth. “You’re pretty damn good, Woody.”

She smiled. Her heart might’ve skipped a beat or two. “Thank you.”

“You must’ve been a mechanic before this, huh?”

“Here and there,” she said. Eager to steer the conversation away from herself, she quickly added, “You’re a musician, aren’t you?”

“I am. I got my degree in music, too.”

“Let me guess what you play…” She folded her arms across her chest. “You don’t strike me as a tuba man.”

The slightest smile worked its way onto his face. “No, I’m not.”

“Way too smart to be playing the triangle.”

“Hey, don’t count out the triangle.”

“You’re pulling my leg!” She laughed, silently proud of herself for not saying 'You're fucking with me' which otherwise would've been her reflexive response. “Alright, I’m gonna make my real guess now.” She pursed her lips as she considered her options. “Clarinet?”

He nodded. “And saxophone.”

“Both? Oh, I’d love to hear you play sometime,” she said. “Either. Whichever one you like best.”

“I play with the band in the officer’s club once in a while. You should come by. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you there.”

“I’m not an officer.”

“I’ll make sure no one kicks you out.”

“Are you offering to be my personal muscle?” she half-joked. 

He shook his head, smiling. “I don’t think you need it, but sure.”

“Thanks, John,” she said. “Unless you prefer Jack? Or just John?”

“What do you think suits me?” he asked.

“Well, I like Johnny, if you’re really asking.” She smiled like she was letting him in on a secret, like she knew all along he’d be Johnny to her. 

It was her eyes that got him, though. The same green he saw when someone else made her laugh or how just about everyone seemed to have some anecdote about Woody—how she helped them out or told a joke that was just the thing to lift their spirits.  But for all of the stories about Woody, the undertones of admiration or outright expressions of desire within them, nobody had one like his. Kissed his cheek without hesitation. Looked at him with those forest green eyes he could lose a hundred years in. Just when he was sure he had his chance and missed it, he was Johnny, and instead of getting lost in that forest, he knew exactly where he was going, how to push his way through and find her.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” she muttered, staring above them and shaking her head. 

Woody grabbed a screwdriver and kicked over a wooden milk crate that had seen better days. She tentatively placed her boot on it, pressing down a moment before stepping up.

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t reach otherwise.”

“That thing’s about as flimsy as cardboard,” he said, setting his pipe aside. “You’ll break your neck.” His strong hands were on her hips before he finished speaking. Held her steady as she stood on top of the crate.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. 

She worked in silence until she stood on her toes, and the crate wobbled ominously beneath her. “I can’t see. Can you get me a flashlight and—”

He squeezed her hips in frustration. “Woody, just do it tomorrow. It’s not worth getting hurt over.”

“Help me down, Johnny?” she asked, turning slightly in his hold, her eyes flashed an unmistakable desire that nearly sent him to his knees.

He kept one hand on her waist, the other holding her free hand as she stepped down from the crate. A flash of red spread across her cheeks, and he was drawn in closer like a moth to flame, following her to the nearby toolbox where she put the screwdriver back in place, double-checking the contents before locking it up for the night.

“You got something…” His thumb brushed just below her lip. They stared at each other in silence, voice caught in his throat before he closed the gap between them, cradling her chin in his hand as he kissed her. 

A shock to her system, there was something uniquely vulgar in his tenderness. Past lips on her own had been rough and selfish, part of a song and dance she grew tired of by the time she was nineteen. To be kissed with such care at twenty-three made her skin burn for more. 

She grabbed his collar, pulling him closer. Threatened to lose herself in the embrace, almost unsure of where Woody ended and John began. 

He caught her bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. She shuddered when he released it and pressed a hungry kiss to his lips, her want betraying her with a soft whimper. 

She felt him pulling away and thought her heart was going to beat out of her chest. “Johnny, don’t go. Not yet,” she whispered pleadingly, raking her fingers through his hair.

It didn’t take much else for him to give in, losing himself in that forest in her eyes. “Is there anything you’re not good at?”

“Being good,” she answered, “and I was getting better at that until you got here not even an hour ago.”

He smiled, eyes glistening almost mischievously. “Well, I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Am I your sweetheart?”

“If you want to be.”

She smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Good, I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else’s,” he said, kissing her forehead.

“Me either.”

[fearlessinger]

i would love to know your thoughts about how Will, Austin and Kayla are Apollo’s foils!!

Heyyy I’m so sorry this took me so long but… in my defense… it ended up being very long? I’d been meaning to do a deep dive into Apollo’s relationship with his children for a while, and you gave me the perfect excuse. 

Starting from the obvious: Apollo’s children are mini mirrors of him. They clearly inherited a lot of his personality traits, both the good and the less good. Apollo’s ready to acknowledge the latter right off the bat, but it takes him until the very last book to admit that their kindness, their compassion, their willingness to stand up for the weak – for their disgraced father, to whom they remain inexplicably loyal even when he has nothing to offer them in return... they got that from him too. Will, Kayla and Austin reflect back to him his BEST qualities, finally allowing him to recognize and take ownership of them after an entire life of being made to feel like he had to suppress them. I’ve talked about this before so I won’t belabor the point here.

The other way in which Apollo and his children foil each other is perhaps more subtle but I think even more interesting: they have complementary arcs re: their relationship with their father.

Apollo begins the story having lost all faith in his father already. He doesn’t really believe in his father’s mercy, in his father’s compassion, in his father’s love anymore. He’s not surprised by his father’s cruelty, especially not when it’s directed at him. He’s under no illusion about who Zeus is, how he operates, what he’s motivated by. It takes him 4 books to call him abusive outright, but he’s been drawing comparisons between him and Nero since book 1. It’s in fact precisely the similarities between the two, between Nero’s treatment of Meg and Zeus’s treatment of Apollo himself, that first led Apollo to realize Meg is abused too. 

When Apollo discovers that he’s bleeding red, he immediately knows what has happened. He understands that he’s been sentenced to death. He tries to convince himself that this is just like his previous punishments, that if he does everything right he will be forgiven and taken back in, and, being the incredible liar that he is, he makes it almost sound believable. But he knows, deep down, that it’s all bullshit. 

I turned my face to the sky. ‘If you want to punish me, Father, be my guest, but have the courage to hurt me directly, not my mortal companion. BE A MAN!’

To my surprise, the skies remained silent. Lightning did not vaporize me.

And yet, it takes Apollo 4 books to finally say the word “abuse” in relation to his father. He keeps telling himself surely this is enough. Surely this is enough suffering to satisfy Father. He’ll take pity on me now. He can’t really want me killed. He’ll change his mind. 

He clings to that hope, to that fantasy, as a last ditch attempt at denying the truth and, most of all, the inevitable consequences of it. 

I suppose I could have raged at him and called him bad names. We were alone. He probably expected it. Given his awkward self-consciousness at the moment, he might even have let me get away with it unpunished.

But it would not have changed him. It would not have made anything different between us.

Apollo admires Percy and Jason for the fearlessness with which they stood up and spoke their mind to Zeus. But at the end of his trials, at the end of his character arc, Apollo chooses to bow his head and remain silent, because unlike Percy, unlike Jason, he knows, and finally accepts, that his father is a lost cause. Zeus won’t change. Zeus doesn’t want to change. He cannot be saved. 

Because that’s what this was all about. Apollo refusing to give up on Zeus no matter how much it hurt him, right up until the moment it would have literally killed him, because despite everything, still, Apollo couldn’t bring himself to believe that there is nothing he can do to redeem his father. It may not look like it at first glance, but a big part of Apollo’s journey in TOA is about accepting that this is yet another choice his father has taken from him.

So Apollo doesn’t rage at his father. He doesn’t call him out on his behavior. He finally accepts that there’s no point in it. In every way that matters, now, to him, his father is already dead.

Will, Kayla and Austin, on the other hand, start out with a… quite frankly astounding amount of faith in their father, all things considered. But just like there was a caveat to Apollo's lack of faith in Zeus, there's a caveat to the kids's faith in Apollo too. 

There’s no doubt in their hearts that he loves them. Apollo pays attention to them. Not nearly enough, of course, but enough that Will considers a prolonged period of silence on his father’s part not just weird, but outright alarming. Enough that the thing that they all consider irrefutable proof of his identity is him recognizing them and smiling at them. 

It’s a tragically low bar, but one that none of the other gods manage to clear. Apollo’s children feel acknowledged. They feel cherished. They feel at ease interacting with him. They know he won’t mind if they bombard him with questions. He won’t mind if they tease him. He won’t even mind if they yell at him. We see them do all these things within minutes to a day of his arrival at camp, seemingly completely unthinkingly. We see Will confess his insecurities to Apollo the moment Apollo asks. Heck, Will confesses to Apollo that he made a wrong call with the nectar and almost killed him completely unprompted, as soon as Apollo’s awake. It doesn’t seem to even cross his mind that Apollo might get mad at him for it.

Will, Kayla and Austin believe their father to be nice. They believe him to be safe. They believe he means well, not just with them, but in general. 

‘Jason is making that storm,’ Nico said. ‘If you fire the onager, you’ll kill him and Piper, and –’

‘Good!’ Octavian yelled. ‘They’re traitors! All traitors!’

‘Listen to me,’ Will tried again. ‘This is not what Apollo would want. Besides, your robes are –’

Will’s conviction that his father would NEVER agree to the slaughter of innocent demigods, not even if that’s the only way to defeat the gods’ greatest enemy, is so unshakeable he repeats it twice: once in front of the roman army, and once again as he tries to convince Octavian that even just a handful of lives is too high a price.

Damien reluctantly handed it over. I leaned toward the guitar case by Woodrow’s feet. The satyr leaped several inches into the air.

Austin laughed. “Relax, Woodrow. He’s just getting another string.”

There’s no way Austin doesn’t know the story of Marsyas from Will’s mythology books. In fact, his reaction here indicates that he does, because it’s only with that context in mind that Austin would find Woodrow’s reaction funny as opposed to confusing. But it doesn’t seem to quite click in Austin’s brain that the cruel god of the myth is his dad. Because Austin's dad would never hurt a fly. It’s simply laughable to think that anyone would have reason to be scared of him.

It’s worth noting that the rest of the CHB demigods don’t ever seem overly intimidated by Apollo either, which makes perfect sense considering how he presented himself to the world prior to his fall from grace. He used to act like a total clown. That's how the campers seem to think of him, and, to an extent, it's how his children think of him too. For all the faith they have in his character, they don't really seem to have a lot of faith in his ability to do… much of anything. 

‘We don’t know what’s going on at Delphi,’ Will continued. ‘My dad hasn’t answered any prayers, or appeared in any dreams … I mean, all the gods have been silent, but this isn’t like Apollo. Something’s wrong.’

Across the table, Jake Mason grunted. ‘Probably this Roman dirt-wipe who’s leading the attack – Octavian what’s-his-name. If I was Apollo and my descendant was acting that way, I’d go into hiding out of shame.’

‘I agree,’ Will said. ‘I wish I was a better archer… I wouldn’t mind shooting my Roman relative off his high horse. Actually, I wish I could use any of my father’s gifts to stop this war.’ He looked down at his own hands with distaste. ‘Unfortunately, I’m just a healer.’

The phrasing of this bit is a little ambiguous. Was Will agreeing to the suggestion that his father might be hiding out of shame rather than take action against his descendant? We can’t say for sure, but I’m inclined to think so.

Will believes his father cares about him and his siblings. He believes his father doesn’t want any deaths on his or the gods’ account. But he also seems to have absolutely no expectation that his father would intervene to prevent these deaths. He feels that it’s HIS responsibility to stop the war, to stop Octavian. Of course, his father would never wish hurt on any of his descendants. His father would never hurt a fly. He is kind. Silly. A bit of a clown. He visits them in dreams. He answers their prayers. He can't seem to ever be there for them when it would matter most. 

This is really the crux of the problem. Apollo’s children trust him. They don’t trust him to be able to protect them. 

But they don’t hold this against him. How could they? They know him. They know it’s not because Apollo doesn’t care. It has to be because he can’t. Literally can’t. Gods can’t meddle in mortal affairs. And… is it possible… that maybe… maybe Dad's power and overall competence is a bit overhyped in the stories? 

He sure can't seem to be able to put together a decent poem. 

Kayla squeezed my hand. Her archer ’s fingers were rough and calloused. “It’s okay, Apollo… Dad. We’ll help you.”

Austin nodded. “Kayla’s right. We’re in this together. If anybody gives you trouble, Kayla will shoot them. Then I’ll curse them so bad they’ll be speaking in rhyming couplets for weeks.” 

Kayla and Austin are such kids at the beginning of THO: self centered, blunt to the point of rudeness, shamelessly thrilled to learn everything about this crazy thing that just happened to their dad. It’s heartening to see. But as soon as they realize that Apollo is actually struggling, THEY are the ones who rush to reassure him, earnestly promising that everything will be alright, that they will support and defend him. 

Like Apollo, who appointed himself his mother's protector mere days after being born, tasked himself with slaying the monster that had been tormenting her, felt an obligation to cut down whoever would dare badmouth her, his children too feel a responsibility to be his protectors, to defend his honor. Like him, who only ever thinks about his mother in terms of what he can do for her, who has no delusions that she could be his salvation in time of need, his children too are far more preoccupied with helping him than they are with anything that they think they might get from him in return.

It's the last thing Apollo would have wanted for them. He was so relieved to hear them worry about the Olympics and youtube views, and then utterly ashamed to realize that they care about him more. As much as he admires his mother, Apollo did not intentionally model himself after her in this respect. 

But just like Leto, Apollo doesn't really have a choice. Or, well. Perhaps that’s not quite true. He might have one, but it's one he is not willing to consider. Not until the end of this story at least, not until he finally, definitively accepts that his father will never change, that his father cannot be saved.

“A father should give more to his children than he takes,” Apollo thinks in despair, looking at his children who are ready to give and give and give to him, even as he's left with nothing to repay them with, but in truth he is only reaping what he sowed. His kids only know of him what he’s let them see.

“That was so beautiful!” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “What was that song?”

I blinked. “It’s called tuning.”

“Yeah, Valentina, control yourself,” Damien chided, though his eyes were red. “It wasn’t that beautiful.”

“No.” Chiara sniffled. “It wasn’t.”

Only Austin seemed unaffected. His eyes shone with what looked like pride, though I didn’t understand why he would feel that way.

Was this the first time Austin actually heard his father play music without intentionally flubbing it? Based on what we saw of Apollo in the books preceding this one, I’d wager yes. But Apollo is taken aback by his son’s reaction. He doesn’t seem to have realized yet how deep an impact his habitual routine of feigning ineptitude actually had on his kids. 

He’s not really making any effort to correct their assumptions either. He never protests when his children explain to him stuff that he already knows. He doesn’t offer advice when Kayla and Austin debate the best way to patch Connor’s injuries up, defers to Will’s judgment when doing infirmary work. 

Granted, the kids know what they are doing. They technically don’t need his help in these matters. It just doesn’t seem to occur to Apollo that they might appreciate it anyway. It also doesn’t seem like he’s given any consideration to the fact that his trust in their abilities can only be worth so much to them, when they are given no reason to think he knows enough to evaluate them. 

It must have felt so good for Asclepius to hear Apollo say “my son taught me this thing”. But that was a long time ago, and Asclepius knew his father in a way that Apollo’s children quite simply aren’t afforded in the present day. 

To make matters worse, he is genuinely horrifyingly far from at the top of his game at this point in time, and not handling it well at all. In a stunning display of immaturity, he makes a whole spectacle of his poor performance at the archery range. 

It’s no surprise then, that nobody listens to Apollo’s pleas to not attack Peaches, not even Kayla. In a combat situation, of course she trusts her own instincts more than her father’s. Neither she nor her brothers take Apollo's completely justified concerns about having a "death race" within the labyrinth seriously. They don’t listen to him when he insists that the game should be at least put on hold until the prophetic trees situation is under control. They don’t even ask him to help them with the infirmary, not until Will is left alone and absolutely needs the spare hands. 

As much as he tries to hide it, it’s clear that Will has very little faith in Apollo’s ability to rescue Kayla and Austin. And is it any wonder? How can Apollo save his children now that he’s a mortal, weaker than even the weakest demigod, when even as a powerful immortal that was beyond his power? 

Apollo couldn't save Lee, or Michael, or the rest of Will's unnamed siblings who died in the battle of Manhattan. He gave them gifts – weapons, to help them in the fight. He was not, he could not be there for them when the weapons ran out. 

Now, the only thing that’s changed is that Apollo doesn’t even have enough power left to protect himself. 

As soon as they were gone, Will gave me an apologetic smile. “They’re in shock. We all are. It’ll take some time to get used to…whatever this is.”

“You do not seem shocked,” I said.

Will laughed under his breath. “I’m terrified. But one thing you learn as head counselor: you have to keep it together for everyone else. Let’s get you on your feet.”

Of course Will is terrified. He easily admits this to Apollo, but then immediately changes topic, relieving him of the burden of having to reply. He knows Apollo has no reassurances to offer him at the moment. And he loves him. He doesn’t want to make this any harder for him than it already is. 

Will’s used to having to manage his own terror alone anyway. Keep it together for everyone else. He can be the rock for his father too. So he smiles, he stays calm, he gives all the support he can while pretending that he himself requires none. He commits to this course of action so thoroughly that Nico feels compelled to intercede, to try to communicate Will’s needs to Apollo in some way: 

Nico rested his hand on Will’s shoulder. “Apollo, we were worried. Will was especially.” [...]

“I’ll be fine.” I pulled on my jeans. “I have to save Meg.”

“Let us help you,” Nico said. “Tell us where she is and I can shadow-travel—” 

Nico's attempt is still pretty indirect. He’s trying to be considerate of Will’s feelings, respectful of Will’s choices. But the meaning of his words is obvious: Please, don’t do this to him. Will's not gonna be able to survive losing you too. 

Perhaps the most interesting facet of Will’s coping strategy of repressing, repressing, repressing is the following:

“Gee, thanks….”

I got the feeling that he almost said Dad but managed to stop himself. [...]

“Guys,” Will interrupted, “why don’t you run to the Big House and tell Chiron that our…our patient is conscious.

Kayla and Austin alternate between using Dad and Apollo with no discernable pattern, seemingly at random, which makes sense considering how young they are. It's likely that they've known their father – properly known him at least – for little more than a year at this point in time. They are familiar with him, but not so familiar that thinking of him as Dad is second nature to them.

But Will has known Apollo longer, and to him it is. He so clearly struggles to not call Apollo Dad. He catches himself right before saying it twice in their first scene together, despite the fact that Apollo looks nothing like himself, and nothing like someone who could plausibly be Will’s dad either. But Will recognizes him, even though he wishes he didn't, and the word is automatically on the tip of his tongue. It slips out of him anyway, seemingly without him noticing, at dinner that night, while he and his siblings argue against Apollo that the planned activities for the next day are a perfectly acceptable level of dangerous:

“It’s different now,” Austin told me. “Since Daedalus died…I don’t know. It’s hard to describe. Doesn’t feel so evil. Not quite as deadly.”

“Oh, that’s hugely reassuring. So of course you decided to do three-legged races through it.”

Will coughed. “The other thing, Dad…Nobody wants to disappoint Harley.”

It doesn’t happen again, though. Will makes sure of it. 

Maybe he thinks that as long as he does not say the word, there’s still a chance that this will turn out to be just a really weird nightmare. 

Maybe he fears that if he does say it, he’ll be tempted to lean on Apollo for support, and feels that he can’t afford to do that when Apollo is barely holding himself upright, and seemingly eager to throw what little health and safety he still has away like it’s worth nothing. 

Maybe he’s afraid of getting any more attached than he already is, now that Apollo could quite literally die on him at any moment. 

Maybe, even if he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, doesn’t want it to be true, a part of him is actually angry with his dad for putting him through all this, willingly or not. 

(And speaking of foiling, and of Apollo and his kids being mirrors of each other, I think it’s worth mentioning that Apollo, for his part, does the same thing in reverse. He refuses to call Will, Kayla and Austin “my children”, feeling undeserving of the title of father, until the moment Kayla and Austin are stolen from him. He only allows himself to acknowledge the connection when it will hurt him the most, but at the same time, also, when he is finally in a position to do something for them, as opposed to them offering to do things for him.) 

And then. 

Apollo doesn't die. And not only does he not die, he brings back with him Kayla and Austin and Meg and all of the missing campers safe and sound. 

Suddenly, everybody’s looking to him for guidance, taking directions from him, deferring to his leadership. 

“I think there’s a way,” I said. “But I’ll need your help.”

Austin balled his fists. “Anything you need. We’re ready to fight.” [...]

“Hey!” called Nico di Angelo. He and Will scrambled over the dunes, still dripping from their swim in the canoe lake.

“What’s the plan?” Will seemed calm, but I knew him well enough by now to tell that inside he was as charged as a bare electrical wire. [...]

“What’s the plan?” they ask him. And also “How do you know it will work? What if you fail?” They don’t feel the need to stop questioning him, but they trust his answers. They trust that as absurd as his idea to take down the colossus might sound, it’s their best shot. They win. They all live.

Of course, Apollo only gives us a terse summary of the aftermath of the battle. To tell us about how happy, how proud of him his children are, would completely ruin this nice self deprecation thing that he has going.

The next time we see Will, Kayla and Austin interact with their father, it’s 4 books and almost 6 months later, after Apollo has finally resolved that he must make the effort to respect other people’s choice to believe in him, even though he thinks himself unworthy:

‘Dad!’ Will shot to his feet. He ran down the steps and tackled me in a hug.

“Dad!” is the first word that we hear Will say. And it’s not a slip up this time. It’s all Dad, Dad, Dad the whole book. Will doesn’t call him “Apollo” once. 

This change in Will’s attitude is, in all likelihood, not just due to the events of THO. He, and Kayla and Austin too, must have heard accounts of what Apollo has done in between then and now, not only from Meg (who is at this point simultaneously Apollo’s biggest critic and his biggest hype machine. A powerful combination), but from Camp Jupiter and the Waystation too. And I’d bet that those accounts were nowhere near as dismissive of Apollo’s actions as Apollo’s own narration is. 

We see everything filtered through Apollo’s still very biased perspective, and we know how much he doubts and berates himself. We know that he’s more acutely aware of his mortality now than he’s ever been, and that he’s readying himself to make the final sacrifice. 

But Will is not scared anymore. Not like before. There’s no trace in him of the barely concealed terror that gripped him all through THO. He’s still just as eager to offer Apollo support, but now he seeks out his father’s support in turn. 

It only takes one word from Apollo for Will to immediately confide to him his worries about Nico, his hope that it will be good for Nico to have something else to focus on, if they can help Apollo accomplish this task. Helping Apollo is almost more an excuse to help Nico in Will’s mind at this point. He tells this to Apollo before he even tells his boyfriend. He looks to Apollo for support. Quite literally.

Nico seemed to realize, at the same time I did, that Will hadn’t shared all the lines of the prophecy with him.

‘William Andrew Solace,’ Nico said, ‘do you have something to confess?’

‘I was going to mention it.’ Will looked at me pleadingly, as if he couldn’t make himself say the lines.

‘The son of Hades, cavern-runners’ friend,’ I recited. 

This becomes a bit of a running gag, even: Will begging Apollo with his eyes to say the awkward thing in his place. It’s a stark contrast to his behavior at the beginning of THO, when he felt compelled to give Apollo an out whenever any sort of awkwardness manifested itself.

At one point this happens:

‘So what do we do about the rest of them?’ Will asked. ‘Dad, you sure you can’t …’ He gestured at our bovine audience. ‘I mean, you’ve got a god-level bow and two quivers of arrows at basically point-blank range.’

It’s the first time we see Will make an explicit, direct request of Apollo. A small one, sure, but I think the casualness of it, coupled with everything else, is indicative of how fast and comfortably Will’s settling into the habit of relying – actually relying on his dad.

He trusts his father’s judgment to the point that he doesn’t hesitate even for a second to give Apollo nectar when Apollo asks, despite the fact that his father is still technically mortal at the time, and drinking nectar should still technically kill him, as Will no doubt remembers, because the discovery caused him a fair amount of grief at the beginning of THO. 

In practice, their situation hasn’t changed that much overall since the first book. They are still facing impossible odds. Apollo isn’t any less prone to concussions, he’s not any less vulnerable or fallible than he was when they last parted ways. 

Yet, Will’s expectations of his father have changed on a fundamental level. Apollo doesn’t seem helpless to him anymore. Far from it. And his praise means more to Will, now, than Will can manage to express in words.

Nico smirked. ‘Friends, meet my glow-in-the-dark boyfriend.’

‘Could you not make a big deal about it?’ Will asked.

I was speechless. How could anyone not make a big deal about this? As far as demigod powers went, glowing in the dark was perhaps not as showy as skeleton-summoning or tomato-vine mastery, but it was still impressive. And, like Will’s skill at healing, it was gentle, useful and exactly what we needed in a pinch.

‘I’m so proud,’ I said.

Will’s face turned the colour of sunlight shining through a glass of cranberry juice. ‘Dad, I’m just glowing . I’m not graduating at the top of my class.’

‘I’ll be proud when you do that, too,’ I assured him.

We’re never told why Will was embarrassed of his glowing talent, to the point that he apparently hardly ever showed it off, and even on this occasion had to be coaxed into doing it by Nico. If I had to guess, I’d say probably because it’s yet another ability of his that completely lacks offensive power. But Apollo thinks it’s amazing, and he leaves Will no room to argue otherwise, and the next time we see Will, he’s glowing brighter than he ever has, bright enough to be mistaken by Nero’s soldiers for a god, and loudly declaring himself his father’s son in front of everybody. 

It’s easier to see all this in Will, who has the most page time out of all of Apollo’s children, but Kayla and Austin’s perception of their dad too has shifted in a similar way. A single compliment from Apollo makes Kayla blush right down to the roots of her hair. “You're taller,” is the first thing she and Austin tell him upon greeting him. “You hold yourself straighter.” This may or may not be factually true, but regardless I would wager that their comments are reflective of more than just a physical reality. He looks taller to them. He’s grown in their esteem. 

Kayla had been listening quietly, but now she leaned in. ‘Yeah, Meg was telling us about this prophecy you got. The Tower of Nero and all that. If there’s a battle, we want in.’

Austin wagged a breakfast sausage at me. ‘Word.’

There’s a big difference between this dialogue and when they promised Apollo that they’d protect him, back at the beginning of THO. The way they phrase this, it’s like they expect some pushback on the idea of them joining the fight. They expect that their father will want to protect them. That he may not even need them. And they respect his initial decision to leave them at camp, where he hopes they‘ll be safe.

But they make a point to let him know that they want to be there for him, with him, anyway. They know that, one way or another, their time together is coming to an end. 

It’s pretty obvious that this is something that weighs heavily on the minds of Will, Kayla and Austin all through book 5. Not so much the possibility that Apollo will die, but the possibility that he won’t. That he will become a god again, and they will have to go back to seeing him only in dreams, if they’re lucky maybe in person once a year, never for longer than it takes to exchange a gesture of affection, a couple hollow platitudes. That they’ll never get to be this close with him again.

They don’t ask him to stay. The big requests still feel too big for them to voice. But everything they actually say and do is telling enough.

 "I was hoping you'd come back," Will says, giving him the new clothes he's bought for him just in case. And he adds, "I wanted you to feel at home."

‘Hey, if we don’t get out of this –’

‘None of that talk,’ I chided.

‘Yeah, but I wanted to tell you, I’m glad we had some time together. Like … time time.’

His words warmed me even more than Paul Blofis’s lasagne.

I knew what he meant. While I’d been Lester Papadopoulos, I hadn’t spent much time with Austin, or any of the people I’d stayed with, really, but it had been more than we’d ever spent together when I was a god. Austin and I had got to know each other – not just as god and mortal, or father and son, but as two people working side by side, helping each other get through our often messed-up lives. That had been a precious gift. 

Austin makes a point to underscore that it’s not the mere fact of having gotten to share some time with his dad that he’s grateful for. It’s not like he never saw or talked to Apollo before. He and his siblings are lucky, for a demigodly definition of the word. Apollo always gave them the time of the day. But this is different. Austin doesn’t quite know how to describe, put into words, what exactly the difference is.

But Apollo does. “Austin and I got to know each other as people,” he says. He calls it a precious gift, as if it’s something out of his hands. Because it is. It will continue to be, until Apollo decides to wrestle it out of the hands of his father. He still doesn’t know that he can.

[Dionysus] disappeared in a grape-scented cloud of glitter.

‘Such a show-off,’ I muttered.

Will laughed. ‘You really have changed.’

‘I wish people would stop pointing that out.’

‘It’s a good thing.’

Notice what is it that prompts Will to remark on Apollo’s change. It’s not Apollo being desperate to get Kayla and Austin and Meg back, to the point of risking his own life to go find them. It’s not Apollo being kind to Harley and winning the child’s loyalty along with a ukulele. It’s not Apollo expressing sorrow and regret about Jason’s death.

There’s a moment, later in the book, in which Rachel actually does give Apollo the “it’s so great that you actually care about people now” speech, but to Apollo’s children this doesn’t seem to register as an actual change in their father at all. They never show surprise to see him care. 

Instead, what Will chooses to highlight as a novelty is Apollo rolling his eyes at Dionysus’ antics. He’s used to his father being kind. He’s not used to his father being serious. And he likes this new serious version of his dad – not humorless, but also very much not a clown all the time. It feels more real, somehow. Will doesn’t have anywhere near enough context to fully understand it, but the thing that he's really reacting to is the lack of a mask. 

Apollo does understand though. He understands what his children are trying to communicate to him, even though they are careful to phrase their desires exclusively as expressions of gratitude. He may find it hard to believe, still, but he ain’t stupid. It’s painfully obvious that his kids want more of this. More of HIM. And he wants nothing more than to be able to give it to them. But much like his children don’t dare ask, he doesn’t dare make a promise that he’s afraid he won’t be able to keep.

I think you can see, at this point, what I meant when I said that Apollo and his children have complementary arcs re: their relationship with their father. 

Apollo needs to give up on a father who refuses to accept him as his own person, keeps him from his own possessions, from his own loved ones. He needs to give up on a father who hates him enough to orchestrate his death. He must, for his own sake, and, most importantly, that of his children. 

Will, Kayla and Austin need to realize that they are entitled to ask more, that they should demand more of a father who loves them, completely unconditionally, enough to be willing to die for them. A father who, they are starting to discover, may be fully capable and willing to murder for them, too. 

The series ends before any of them have time to really act on the revelations they have had, the lessons they have learned. It’s an open ending, but the way forward is clear. 

Apollo tries to tell himself that it will be enough to keep his distance. But even as he tries to convince himself of this, he’s admitting that there’s really only one way to stop tyrants like Nero. Tyrants like Zeus. Who can’t be reasoned with, because they don’t care to be reasonable. Who can’t be cut off either, because they feel entitled to everything and have the power to trample all over other people’s boundaries. Visiting his children in secret, helping demigods behind his father’s back… that strategy wasn’t working for Apollo before, and it’s not gonna start working now. There’s only one way this story can end, and deep down Apollo has already acknowledged it. 

Apollo’s children, on the other hand, and I want to say especially Will, because he’s the one who has the most reasons and the most need to, should finally allow themselves to get angry at their dad. Because now they have seen, they have proof, that he can be a much better parent to them than he’s been all their life. Because they know him too well, now, to be able to make excuses for him. He is simply too good to be so awful a father. So how dare he?

The one time he was there with them, even as a mortal, even without his power, he saved them. So why could he not do it all the times before? Why could he not do it for all their other siblings?

Apollo let go of his anger, and, with it, he let go of the last of the hope he still held for his father too.

Will should be angry with his father because, now, he actually has hope for him.

No, it’s not Will’s responsibility to reform Apollo. But it matters to Apollo what his children have to say. What his children want. They know him well enough, now, to know that he’s both capable and willing to change for them.

But Fsinger, you’ll be asking me now, what about the infamous solangelo book teaser scene in the TON epilogue? Doesn’t that go against everything you’ve been so correctly and exhaustively arguing up until now?

To that I have to say 

1) I was hoping you wouldn’t bring that up

2) I really, really want to be wrong, but that scene really reads like a hasty, completely graceless reset of the status quo so that Will and Nico’s adventure, and probably many more after it too, can be written still following the same old formula that has already proven to sell. Suddenly, jarringly, Apollo's back to feeling like he can't do anything but watch in resigned impotence as his kids march to their death, and Will’s back to making excuses for his dad. Everything can continue on as usual. Move along, spectators, there’s nothing to see here. If you thought this story was leading up to a specific place, no you didn’t.

3)

[softmick]

Hi Meg! 💖

84 or 86 for the fic game?

Thanks for the prompts, Calli! I went with 86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”

Oh boy, this got away from me! and went sad. What is even happening? Lol.

------------

Franny runs into the kitchen and wraps her arms around Debbie’s legs. She speaks with too much concern for such a small child, “Mommy? Is Uncle Ian okay?”

These days Franny notices everything, but Ian hadn’t exactly made it hard. Debbie’s face scrunches before she remembers to look reassuring. Her reply comes out weak, “Of course!” Franny considers this with a finger to her chin. Debbie tries again with a smile. “Yeah, I’m sure he is.” She isn’t really sure at all, but she remembers how it feels to believe a mom should be. “Why don’t you go get ready for bed and we’ll both tuck you in?”

Franny nods and runs up the stairs. A small win, but a win. Debbie listens to her daughter’s steps grow distant.

Ian had beelined straight to her from the door, scooping the girl up and holding her close. She had greeted him to no response. He alternated squeezing her limbs and pressing his face into her hair, taking breaks simply to stare into her curious face. Franny was patient and still for as long as she could manage. Debbie saw her start to squirm and broke up the moment.

Now Ian is on the couch alone holding Franny’s well-loved stuffed rabbit gently between his big hands.

“Ian?” Debbie whispers, sitting next to him.

He doesn’t speak, simply wraps an arm around her and presses a kiss to her head with a shaky breath into her hair. It feels so nice she could almost cry, but she doesn’t forget for a second that they don’t really do this. They’re close, not touchy-feely.

“Are you okay? Franny was asking.”

She thinks he’s nodding, but it’s hard to tell as he pulls her tighter.

“Can you tell me about it?” She asks hopefully.

He kisses her again and lets her go, but doesn’t meet her eyes.

Her heart flips against her ribs and she lets out what she hopes is a chuckle. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry, too.”

Ian swallows and looks down. He might resent the question from Lip or Fiona, but he’s Debbie’s big brother. He should ease her worries, not cause them. He doesn’t want to scare her and doesn’t know how to tell her why he’s so upset, why his heart feels so raw.

He tightens his grip on the rabbit and looks into it’s shiny plastic eyes. “It’s all so fragile, this,” he says nodding towards the stairs.

It’s felt that way in the past, but Debbie looks at her brother and feels pride. He’s still here, trying, succeeding, living. She thinks about Carl trying his hardest to follow in Ian’s footsteps and help this crazy world somehow. Liam, sweet Liam, bright and kind through it all. Things are looking up for Lip now that he’s sober… Debbie sees possibility for them all.

There’s an account in her name with enough money to keep the house warm, the water flowing. Her daughter is safe, fed, and loved undeniably. Whatever else happens and despite the desperation she may feel for a love that’s all her’s, her family is good.

“Gallaghers are pretty resilient.”

There’s truth to her words, but Ian knows intimately that they’re made of the same breakable bones and soft tissue as everyone else. He knows that there’s no way to protect any of them from the seemingly endless ways people come to the end.

“Bad day at work.”

It’s an immediate relief to her. It’s not an episode.

Debbie knows exactly what he means. Someone died, maybe multiple someones. Ian won’t say it that way though. When he says anything at all he says, “It was a bad day at work today. I lost someone, Debs.” He takes responsibility for each one and never elaborates.

“You always do your best, Ian.”

Ian hears her and forces himself to nod - slowly, twice. He knows that it’s true. At least tonight. Earlier. He did everything he possibly could. He would’ve given everything for it to have been enough.

Debbie waits, not expecting him to say anything else. She wants to offer something more, something comforting, and tries to imagine what someone older or wiser might say. The only voice she can conjure is her own.

The silence, unusual as it is, seems to have a magic of its own because Ian does speak again.

“Bad accident on 55. Lost three tonight.” He doesn’t usually need to share. He feels bad, he deals with it alone in any number of ways, he feels better. It’s a well-worn path. But right now the burden feels so heavy, the pain is so sharp, that he feels too weak to keep it inside. Maybe if he can get it out he’ll feel better and Debbie will understand what’s going on with him for once.

He sucks in a shaky breath, “Two young kids, babies, Deb.” His voice breaks at the last part and tears drop thickly.

He wonders what they thought about in their final moments. If they were scared, if they knew they didn’t deserve it. If they knew, the way all kids should know, that they meant the world to someone. That someone cared. All the responders had tried so hard to make those last moments as gentle as possible. They had held little hands, whispered words they hoped were soothing.

Debbie aches. She has enough grief to last a lifetime and so does Ian. They don’t deserve more. It isn’t fair. If she could stop him from hurting she would. She leans into him.

It’s her worst nightmare, something happening to Franny, to Liam. To any of them. For them to die not knowing how fucking grateful she is to have them in her life, not knowing how much she loves them. For her to die before she gets the chance to tell them all. She does her best to show Franny every day, but none of her siblings communicate as well as they should. She worries the message gets lost. They’re close, not intimate. It’s not the kind of thing they talk about.

"We’re safe. You’re safe.” She pauses as he sniffles loudly. Then she tells him what she’d like to hear. “Fran’s safe and she adores you. She knows you love her, okay? We all do. You’re a good person, Ian.”

She doesn’t know if it’s enough, if he can feel the weight behind her words. But she’s sure. In this moment, right here, she’s confident she’s right.

She squeezes his shoulder and stands. It won’t help anything if she starts crying. “Lets go say goodnight, huh? You can read us a story.”

“Up in a minute.”

Ian never knows what will happen when he opens up which is why he mostly doesn’t. But maybe he’s just tried the wrong siblings. Somehow Debbie cut to the root, excised some of the pain. Helped him. He turns out the lights and heads upstairs, rabbit still in hand. With each step he feels a bit lighter, a little younger. How many times has he made this trek, to put little Gallaghers to bed? Debbie, even. And now her daughter. A lot, he thinks, but never enough.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

holy fuck, this gives the zenin so much more lore than what we got in the manga. like the potential is right there to have this great inter-clan generational dispute and cold war but gege just breezes past it and then gets rid of it completely.

with all this cool new shut we’re getting about them, im almost glad that megumi was born a boy. like could you imagine just how much worse the zenin would have been to him if he was a girl? they already have the whole misogyny thing going for them and then their version of jesus pops up and it turns out that it’s a girl who wields their prized technique?

god, i can’t imagine just how much more controlling they would be towards megs, although im still not sure if the whole training until ur bones fall off would still happen. i feel like naoya would be different towards megs but we also know that the zenin are totally okay with incest so i hate where that would go.

It would have been bad.

See, I think the entire training until your bones fall off thing would still happen, but there would be an added layer of cruelty towards it. Because megumi was a little boy who was being trained in a way that even adults couldn’t have handled, so of course he spent a lot of time getting hit and a lot of time crumpling under the pressure and exhaustion. There are very, very few instances where he remembers actually leaving the training room on his own two feet. He usually was pushed until he collapsed and woke up later in the room they kept for him. But if he was a little girl in the same circumstances? They’d make every “failing” about her sex. They’d blame her being a girl for it and constantly use it as a source of sneering superiority.

It would also be bad because she would very much be seen as a source of descendants. Boy Megumi wouldn’t necessarily be exempt from that, but it would happen sooner for girl Megumi.

Bloodline is very important to the Zenin. Inheriting power, techniques—they want to continue the flow of power through the generations. And most of the Zenin clan (and the wider jujutsu world) believe that Megumi is the most powerful Zenin alive right now, if not Gojo’s equal, and the only reason why hes being graded as a Grade Two sorcerer is because gojo’s purposefully sabotaging his development. Like. Mindset is a huge amount of jujutsu ability. Yuuta went from getting beaten up by normal high schoolers to having some combat ability but needing inumaki to handle a semi grade one to being the second most powerful person alive in the span of a few months. He absolutely blitzed the previous second most powerful person alive when he would have lost that same fight a few hours previous. There’s a lot of people convinced Megumi’s on Gojo’s level but he’s been keeping him on a leash since childhood. But the powers still there in his blood.

That’s power the Zenin want to pass on, regardless of gender. But as a boy, Megumi’s got a little bit more leeway—men are accepted as warriors first in the clan, and age won’t affect his ability to procreate. If megumi was a girl? She’s got that goddamn biological clock ticking down. As the ten shadows, I think the Zenin would still expect her as a warrior, but they’d also have a fucking quota she needs to fill before the clock hits zero. And they’d have some very proprietary concerns about making sure no one outside of the clan has a chance to become involved with her. They’d want her to stay within the clan with her partners. And they’d be absolutely creepy and weird about how they went about it. It’s a little bit of a mercy that Megumi’s a boy.

[deadbydangit]

Asking them to Braid your Hair

Kate, Jeff, Meg

Kate Denson

"I got you sugar."

It's something she actually enjoys doing.

To herself and others.

And she isn't too bad at it.

All those years of playing the guitar have strengthened her fingers and allowed her to work with small details.

She doesn't particularly care if your hair is washed or not.

Or brushed.

Because she's going to brush it for you.

And Kate loves brushing your hair.

It's such a calming activity.

And it makes her feel closer to you.

She can do simple and fish tale braids, which are her favorite.

Oh, and you best believe she's going to put flowers in your hair.

That isn't an option.

You can take them out after, but let her admire you first.

"Don't you look sweeter than a pie."

After, she might ask you to do her hair.

It doesn't matter if you aren't too good.

Or don't know how.

She's patient and she'll teach you.

The only thing she cares about is that she gets to do it with you.

Jeff Johanson

He isn't the best.

And he'll admit it before hand.

But Jeff can braid.

However, it was only ever his hair.

He's never braided anyone else's

It never bothered him if it was messy or not

He has long hair.

He's had it longer before.

And mosh puts are a little less painful when your hair is braided back.

He doesn't care if it's washed or brushed.

He rarely ever did either before he braided his own hair.

He can't do anything fancy.

Pretty basic braids.

Kind of messy.

Stray hairs everywhere.

So don't expect too much.

But, after the first braid he's going to make it his mission to learn how to make other types of braids.

French, fish tail, all of them.

He'll talk to all the survivors who know how to braid hair.

Maybe even some of the killers too.

And it's something he'd only do for you.

Meg Thompson

You need a braid?

Sure.

Hold up.

It's done in under a minute.

She's so used to braiding hair that she doesn't even have to think about it.

Whenever she ran, it was always brajded

You almost never see her without her hair braided.

It's nostalgic to braid someone's hair for her.

Meg would always braid her mother's hair since it was difficult for her to do toward the end of her life.

So don't be too afraid if she starts to tear up.

Your hair doesn't have to be brushed or washed.

Though she would prefer it to brushed.

If you don't have a brush, she might use her hands.

She can be a little rough with it, so let her know if she's pulling too hard.

It just makes it easier.

She can only really do simple braids.

But they are always well done and neat.

And boy can she do them fast.

Sometimes she makes it a competition to see how fast she can braid your hair.

So far, it's forty-five seconds.

She won't admit it, but she really enjoys doing hair.

She's always been kind of a tomboy, so this gives her a sense of femininity.

[zagdusa-rights]

I saw your Hades posts on your spider man blog and decided to come give you a shout even though I’ve lost almost all my interest in it, but now I’m so glad that I did? The more I played the more I got turned off by the story going from “rebel and escape your abusive father” to “settle for being less mistreated so long as you allow your main love interests to give you backhanded compliments on how you’re no longer ‘useless’, don’t resent your birth mother for initially refusing to help you or be held accountable for you, and are always the only one making compromises and amends on every relationship.” The credits song straight up says “Run all you like from the place you belong” because abuse is overridden by being blood relations. I hated the fact that I’ve never seen anyone else complain about this, so your meta on MegZag seeming unhealthy and your “everything’s worse AU” with Galathes actually really hit the spot for me.... sorry if you don’t vibe with my salt shkfsfjg. I know the game’s setting couldn’t just perfectly reflect modern values but I hate how fandom just pretends everything’s fine 😭

I vibe SO much with this salt!!

Im glad for Zagreus getting to suplex his dad into trying to be better, but its the fact that Hades is only doing it for love of Persephone and not out of love for Zagreus that feels bad to me. If Persephone had decided to not return, Zagreus would be trapped in the exact same never-ending cycle of abuse he was in before, its not like he gets to grow older and move away, he's trapped for literally all eternity. And he will always be subject to Hades' authority as a resident of the underworld and as his son.

Meg being a fury and Zagreus messing up in the past doesn't change that we've seen the way she talks to Dusa, so we know she's capable of being way friendlier. I get that their complicated history and origins as gods influences that and its part of the Spice, but if Im to believe that they've grown past that into a loving relationship then I'd like to see Meg,, actually talk to Zag in a loving way. Maybe express even an implication that she's a little sorry she couldn't be in a position to help Zag escape his abuser, or any regret for the way she blamed him for his abuse while it was happening, anything at all.

I can recognize that all their relationships as immortal gods are complicated and they have different family values- but I can also call it straight up abuse and/or mistreatment cuz thats still what it is 😤

[plutoids-thoughts]

I am bored so I decided I will share the songs on my megop playlist :3 (not many songs, but quality over quantity✌🏽)

Also if anyone has other songs in mind, I’d love to add them to my playlist

Lettuce begin…

Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys — it’s SOO ANGSTY. The late night rumination of what’s been lost and the temptation to just GO FOR IT despite being sworn enemies and knowing it’s probably not gonna have the best outcome. Yep, tfp megop I think.

Enemy - Imagine Dragons — Arcane was an objectively good series. I also think it’s a good representation of Megatron’s conflict with the upper class and Autobot fanatics because he’s made many enemies since he’s spoken of dismantling a system that had allowed them to perpetuate oppression to their benefit, and he’s determined to keep speaking up about it. Also just my little spin on it, but I think that it also represents his minor victim complex which didn’t take well to Optimus becoming a prime bc 1) he had many feelings for his “bro” and 2) he associated the primacy with the corruption of the High Council, and he felt deeply betrayed by Optimus because he thought Optimus would uphold the values of classism and corruption despite having fought by Megs’ side under his philosophy. He thought someone finally understood his struggle intimately, but then Optimus became a Prime so that OBVIOUSLY meant Megatron meant nothing to Optimus. Megs is so dramatic 🙄🙄

Reflections - The Neighborhood — so much ANGST!!! Each of them wanting the other to come back because they sold their soul for each other and believing the other just doesn’t love them anymore. The angst is scrumptious. Also it’s such a soft song, it’s giving “ruminating about your ex lover/revolutionary bestie at 3 am”

Star Walkin’ - Lil Nas X — Super peppy tune, it makes me wanna start a revolution!! AAAAA!! I think it’s representative of Megatron’s thirst to be recognized and to have power to change Cybertron’s corrupt authority, to champion a revolution fueled by the intoxicating idealism that would make Cybertron equal for everyone. I hc that Orion Pax and Megs when they were young would be brimming with idealism and determination and fall hard into whatever they set their minds to (including each other 🫣🫣). Obv as the war evolves and they find each other on opposite sides of the war, yes they fight each other bc they want to protect the ideals of their respective factions, but also because they’re constants in each others lives. Optimus Prime will always be a driving force in Megs’s life and vice versa. It’s a sort of weird camaraderie they share because they’re important to each other (not in the sense that they can’t live without the other, but like they’ve always been present in the others life).

The Heat - The Score — I almost didn’t put it on here because I feel like it’s very subjective, but it just reminds me of tfp Megatron’s obsession with Optimus, and like he wants him BAD.

Hold Me Down - The Happy Fits — so this might be a little OOC but I think what I hc as the early parts of Megatronus and Orion Pax’s relationship is what this song reminds me of. They’re just so in love but so awkward. It just hits you in the feels.

Centuries - Fallout Boy — do I even need to explain? also just more angst ✌🏽✌🏽

Run for Cover - The Killers — again, a very angsty tune and I love it.

Crossfire - Stephen — there’s a lot in this song. Firstly I see two perspectives in this song that I think fit well with Optimus and Megatron. One perspective is caught in the middle of a necessary war because of trying to fight oppression/corruption as someone who was a victim of that, and the weariness he feels, but also the fact that he has to continue fighting in order to protect himself and others like him from oppression (essentially being “caught in the crossfire”) — that’s Megs. The other one is someone who’s priveliged and mostly protected from oppression that has tangible effects on his life, but he still is conscious of others being oppressed and wanting to know why — that’s Optimus/Orion Pax. And in a way, megs and op find refuge in each other while this whole thing is going on because the lyrics lowkey reek of exhaustion to me, and it seems like both of them are exasperated/emotionally drained from this war. Eventually, as the war goes on, Optimus starts to question if he’s on the right side of the war. If he’s on the Autobot side, hes asking if blindly following orders is the right thing to do, kind of like in IDW’s Autocracy, because the destruction he’s bringing to the enemy doesn’t seem fair, because they’re just fighting for freedom. If he’s on Megs’ side, he’s questioning if Megatron’s brutality and totalitarianism is really the way to bring peace, even if he does love Megs and believes in Megs’ vision of a more equal Cybertron. There’s a lot of internal conflict that’s very characteristic of Optimus’s and Megatron’s rocky relationship and honestly it’s my crack.

If you actually read all this, *forehead kiss* I love y’all <333 thanks for listening to my half coherent thoughts

[yasartmeme]

Okay listen I know A Day Of Fallen Night came out in like January and I did buy it then but then life stuff happened but I’m finally sitting down to read it and I’m gonna put all my thoughts here and post it when I finish it

Okay that was just the PROLOGUE? It slaps but also that was like a story of its own

Okay so I’m like a quarter through now and I have thoughts

Kanifa is adorable and Samantha Shannon if you touch one hair on his head you will be hearing from my nonexistent lawyers

Is Wulf actually the child of Kalyba? That would be wild

Also, I genuinely have completely lost track of all the people in Wulf’s storyline apart from his Inys family and Regny I don’t know who the fuck the rest of these people are and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to

The conclusion I’ve come to is that Hroth is fantasy Iceland. Am I wrong?

Y’know I was expecting Dumai’s story to be a whole thing of the Emperor being evil and trying to kill her for being an illegitimate heir or something but my expectations have been subverted and now I love him

Update

Hot damn like half of this book’s side characters just bit the dust in about half a page

Listen I know their deaths were mentioned in Priory and I knew it’d happen but Glorian’s parents dying still hurts

Poor Glorian

Also where is Wulf? Is he dead? Lost at sea? Is he okay? I need him to be okay

Siyu’s run away again

That girl is a Grade A flight risk

I honestly did not see Nikeya as a love interest coming but its clearly heading in that direction and I think its gonna cause all kinds of chaos

Update

KANIFA NOOO Samantha Shannon what did I just say

This is almost as bad as when Kit died, all these poor loyal friends dying for dramatic effect

I love Wulf’s family so much. Mara gives me Meg vibes

Glorian is a badass and her and Wulf are suprisingly cute together

Okay I do not trust Canthe at all, I feel like she’s lying about everything

I’m trying to figure out who she is. I’ve got a running theory that she’s Kalyba (the Lady of the Woods) which I know is kind of insane but hear me out: who else do we know that’s seemingly immortal and ate from the hawthorne tree, who can also shapeshift into whatever form, who has been married and has lost a child? Plus they keep drawing attention to the loveknot ring (which is gold which Wulf said is for royal marriage) and I feel like that can’t be just a coincidence. The only question is why she’d be helping the priory. Maybe she wants to earn their trust so they’ll let her eat from the orange tree? That’s what she wanted from Ead in the first book.

I’m trying so hard to figure this out but I think I’m losing my mind

Aaaand the Emperor is dead

Someone should keep a kill count going on the number of dead leaders/royalty and authority figures in this book, if you took a shot every time like a drinking game you’d be hammered by this point

Or dead

I’ve said it before but I love Wulf, he’s so earnest and sweet and he’s just trying to be friends with everyone

He had every reason to refuse to believe in the priory or be suspicious but he just welcomed them as family with open arms

Y’know I wasn’t that invested in Nikeya and Dumai earlier but they’ve really grown on me, they’re super cute

I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT MY PREDICTIONS ARE NEVER RIGHT SHE’S THE LADY OF THE WOODS!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH

I literally almost threw the book across the room in excitement 

I’ve never felt more alive that was insane

Should I become a detective?

I feel like a genius

Update

God these battles are brutal

SUZUMAI???? SHE’S NINE HOW COULD YOU

I’m distraught

That bit where Wulf is talking to baby Sabran is so cute I might die

Dumai better not be dead, I won’t cope

Okay well I’m interpreting that epilogue that she’s completely fine living her new life on the mountain and Nikeya can go and visit her and everything is fine

In conclusion, this was amazing and also I read about half of this book in the past few days reading as much as possible and now I think I need to like sit and stare at nothing for a bit

Or maybe a nap

[shes-a-badkid]

Thoughts while reading The Trials of Apollo - “The Dark Prophecy” with my nephew-

1. I still cannot get over the name Lester for Apollo

2. Even after being humbled a bit, he is still the cockiest bastardized out there

3. I love the idea of Leo just having a good time with his girlfriend and his dragon and helping a God out and then there is Calypso and Apollo just snarking at each other the whole time

4. I love Calypso so much- just straight punches someone, breaks her hand, and almost immediately says fuck it and kicks someone and breaks her foot. I just really identify with this

5. Poor Leo- had to leave Festus again. WHEN WILL MY SON GET A BREAK, RICK?!

6. Oh poor Emmie and Josephine! If this book doesn’t end with them getting their daughter back I will be seeking financial compensation

7. I’m obsessed with Emmie and Josephine, every new thing I learn about them just adds to my love

8. Apollo and Calypso on a quest with no Leo to buffer… I’m so here for this- the sass with be *chefs kiss* impeccable

9. I really like that Apollo’s memory is iffy right now because I truly don’t know who most of these people are and him remembering doesn’t feel like a generic info dump

10. Hell yeah, Meg!!! Run away from those assholes! (But please don’t make me sad again)

11. Apollo- how are you so thirsty? Like we haven’t focused on the gods in as much detail as you, but you seem like a thirty bitch. Now I know you can’t possibly be as thirsty as Zeus, but you might come close

12. So far on this quest we have Calypso doing like 85% of the work- picking locks, grifting the two searching for them into believing she was cursing them- what a queen. And you know, Apollo is also there, like good job with that train buddy, you helped!

13. Hell yeah, Meg! Take his ass out! (I think ‘hell yeah, Meg’ might become my catchphrase thought this series)

14. Okay Apollo- nice work letting all the animals loose, that was clutch

15. Sure, Apollo, you totally didn’t cry when Meg hugged you. We all totally believe you 😑

16. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more time- I am obsessed with Josephine

17. “I was, after all, selfless, caring, and all around nice guy.” And just when I was feeling a bad for you my dude

18. Oh poor, Georgina, your mind is just mashed bananas right now

19. Look at you Apollo being all smart and melting that door- I would say I’m proud but the ego doesn’t need the compliment

20. PEACHES!!! NOOOOO! My sweet, little maniac

21. Festus! My favorite boy 🐉

22. Thalia about to kick some ass like the boss bitch she is

23. I love that Lityerses immediately went from down to kill for Commodus to I’m gonna kill Commodus for thinking of killing me and joining the side of good

24. Apollo may have fully won me over for staying back just to save Livia the elephant- also what a sight to see Thalia being a badass while escaping on a elephant

25. Leo and Calypso staying at the waystation makes so much sense and I’ll miss them so much, but also I would totally ready a book about Leo and Calypso at the waystation with Josephine and Emmie

26. Apollo hating his arrow is the best. I love a god having beef with an inanimate object

27. Oh Meg, my dear, I just want to hug you!

28. Apollo may be a self centered douche like 90% of the time but my man has a lot of feelings. Like- he cares for Meg so much, he just wanted to save Livia the elephant, he is passionate in his hatred of slavery, and he is so worried for his friends at the waystation

29. What is this red lightning, Jamie?!? I am intrigued

30. Sssssarah is delightful and I would love for her to just randomly pop up

31. Can we leave Festus alone, please

32. RICK! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU ARE GONNA KILL OFF A LOVELY GRIFFIN WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH (laid an egg… whatever) AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY?!? RIP Heloise

33. The delight I feel at just the mention of Coach Hedge is entirely normal! Stop judging me!

34. GROVER! MY SWEET SATYR!

[aizenat]

Here’s the thing about Meg and the allegations. So like as her lawyer pointed out, this person didn’t ever file any harassment complaints either to Megan or anyone else. Now you can argue “who would he complain to” but Meg had been managed by Roc nation since 2019. Even before she blew up with Savage. So like he could have complained to their hr so there was at least a record of it.

But he didn’t. So, seriously, when did Megan get a chance to know she was making him uncomfortable?

Like I feel like ppl need to really realize that celebrities are NOT like us. They may put their pants on one leg at time like us but they don’t live like us. AT ALL. Wild and crazy parties with things we couldn’t even imagine, all types of drugs everywhere, orgies and kinky sex galore: the real lives of the rich and famous would have even the more liberal of us clutching our damn pearls.

Just like with the Lizzo case, everyone is down to party until the party stops. Especially when the party stops because of their own actions (those backup dancers were obviously bad employees who got mad they got fired for not working the way they were supposed to). Then when the party stops, they want to expose the craziness of these celebs lifestyles, KNOWING it’s supposed to be an industry secret. You want to know why a lot of celebs will go quiet or distance themselves from ppl who get these accusations? Because they don’t want the truth of what THEY get up to to also come out as a result of someone else getting outed. Ppl like “weird she told the cameraman not to say anything” like it’s not well known that anyone working with Beyonce on anything has to sign an ironclad nda and speak no evil they see. And the connection plus the money is more than enough to incentivize them to keep their mouths shut.

This guy and those background dancers got good, cushy gigs and fumbled the bag and now have to go this route after trying to extort these women didn’t work. And they both existed in a way where it’d be hard for them to get another similar gig without a good reference. And if they didn’t leave in the best terms, that’s similar to getting blacklisted. And honestly no one will want to work with them after these lawsuits so they have nothing to lose other than time by filing these lawsuits and almost everything to gain if they win or (more likely) settle out of court.

Megan herself is not a business or company, and likely didn’t hire this guy formally. And if she did, he likely knew beforehand (either was told or quickly learned) what all he’d see and be taking pictures of. And especially if he was partying with Megan, he knew what would be going on. He’s a fucking liar.

Also, America is an at-will employment country (outside Montana lol). Meaning an employer can, technically, fire you at any time and that’s their right. But it also means that as a worker, you’re allowed to quit at any time (meaning no employer can force you to stay on once you decide to quit). He wasn’t forced to do anything he didn’t want to do. If he was uncomfortable, he could have filed a complaint with Roc Nation or her old label (considering the legal issues they were having, they would have LOVED to have that to hold over her I’m sure).

He worked for her for like 4 years! When the Tory stans were dragging her, he could have came out with this to bury her. When Nicki was having a meltdown, he could have brought this up. There were so many times where Megan was getting so much hate or dealing with so much shit and he could have given her enemies ammunition then. Why not then? Why now? You spent four years watching her fuck ppl and whatever and you apparently had a huge problem all those years and never said anything?

Megan’s entire persona is she a freak. I’m supposed to believe this photographer, this MAN, got a job following her around taking pictures of her and he was surprised and shocked to see her fucking in front of him? Yeah ok. Like use your brains ppl. What makes more sense: a group of young people excited to travel the world and be as freaky as they want having fun and wild parties that sure get crazy but that’s the point, or this young woman on the come up with no real power or foot in the industry yet hiring a photographer to only professionally take pictures of her in professional settings but she’s so evil and crazy that she couldn’t help but fuck ppl in front of him and viciously harass them.

Just a note too: funny how similar these accusations are to the accusations against Lizzo. The body shaming accusations against both women is definitely a calculated choice to purposely denigrate and undermine these women as they are both known for being body positive.

Also the “hostile” work environment in very non-traditional situations; both cases use situations outside of the work setting to try to argue that the artists created a hostile environment. But like you didn’t have to go to a strip club if you were so against it. You can say “well they had to for work” but no you don’t. There was a kid at my last job who was aggressively against doing anything outside business hours with the company. He went to zero company outings, never went to the holiday party in all his 10+ years of working there, refused to have anyone from the company be a friend on fb or any social media, never went to the company picnic, etc. People didn’t even know if he had siblings or whatever because he was determined to keep work and private life separate. And that wasn’t even close to the reason he got fired lol (he was constantly late/called out all the time so it finally caught up to him lol).

My point is that if these ppl were so against the lifestyle, why do they seem so into it until they get fired/are no longer able to collect a paycheck from these celebs? You on tour, go to your hotel after a performance. No one is forcing you to the strip club. You don’t want to be around someone who drinks a lot and gets freaky when she does? Take another car to where you’re staying and leave her to her antics. There are so many pretty big names on entertainment who don’t party and aren’t on drugs and shit; if they can figure it out, I think these employees can too.

And this to me is the tell tale sign these accusations have no merit. The things they always list sound like things friends do when hanging out. Going to clubs, drinking and making out with people. I’ve been at parties with ppl making out in front of me. I’ve drunkenly made out with a girl while a friend was awkwardly standing off to the side; shit happens when you put a bunch of young people in hot rooms with alcohol.

Like the work environment (for Megan; there are a few claims from the Lizzo case—tho not the ones directed at her but at her company and choreographer—that I do think have merit) claim this guy is trying to make is weird because you first have to establish what was work and what wasn’t. I used to go on outings with my old coworkers outside of work, and I wouldn’t blame my company if one of them did something to offend me or whatever. As a photographer, I would assume you’re taking pictures in very specific circumstances. So if you’re partying outside of work or having lunch outside of work, anything Megan does you claim you don’t like isn’t a work related issue.

Similar to the stripper story from the Lizzo story (also, learning that story supposedly happened at Crazy Horse is WILD for a host of reasons that invalidates the claim even more imo), going out after work isn’t required. And they can say pressured well they want; they’re grown and if Lizzo tried to fire them for not going, THAT would be a major HR violation and terms for a lawsuit right there. It’s so obvious in both cases that these ppl were down to party and got mad when the party stopped. They got a taste of that celeb life and got drunk. They wanted more. They didn’t want to return to their regular lives. So maybe a lawsuit would get some money to keep the party going.

The music industry is particularly shady. More so than the tv/movie industry. And these ppl are barely hiding it these days. The little bit we see we can bet the reality is that to the ♾️ power. And anyone getting into music knows that and has to decide how they want to navigate it. The very nature of these lawsuits and their allegations seem less about someone seeking justice (like we see in cases like, let’s say, the Diddy lawsuits) and more like someone trying to tear down a woman’s reputation.

Because with Diddy and R Kelly and the sort who get called out on these, it’s rarely a shock. Few ppl in general are living entirely separate double lives; that shit would be exhausting. Ppl been knew about Kelly; people been knew about Diddy. The lawsuits and documentaries and shit just exposed what we already knew/suspected. And based on their personalities and personas, there’s no real reason to doubt it.

But with these, notice how the accusations are not just surprising giving the nature, but how they specifically contradict the image the celebrity is portraying. Lizzo doing fat positivity but she’s actually not fat positive to others (despite making a point to hire big dancers but sure). Megan is all positive but she fat shamed me and told me not to eat! She’s so mean! Funny that.

It seems to me that these ppl have a vested interest tearing down these women’s reputation and shaming them. Or, at least, are leveraging their reputations to get some payouts, assuming they’d rather do that then fight this in court.

Also, and idc who hates this, but Johnny Depp, a man with a known and long recorded history of violence and drug and alcohol abuse, was able to convince the world his mostly unknown wife was the one abusing HIM by twisting moments she was trying to defend herself against her. And the world fell for it. Many still believe it because they didn’t do any real research, nor looked at the unsealed records that mostly support what Amber claimed. And it worked because ppl love to hate women and will find any reason too. And people have beef with Megan for unhinged and loser reasons. Meaning they will jump on this to vilify her immediately. And that’s what this asshole was banking on. That’s what all these people are banking on: that our hatred of women will lead to us harassing these women the way the world did Amber and get them to yield.

Johnny Depp started a trend of men (and the gender traitors) filing lawsuits against women to attack their character and force them to do what they want. And the threat is obvious: give me what I want or end up blacklisted, hated, and ostracized like Amber. And because everyone hates women, you idiots will fall for it every time.

Believe women means you believe them even when they’re being accused. Y’all are really not ready for real female solidarity. We’re never making it out the patriarchy.

[heir-less]

Harry needs to ask himself why Meg had to cut off her toxic family but he keeps calling racism unconscious bias and believing in monarchy. Whatever therapy he's in is clearly not enough for him to stop being so infuriating and insulting with this bullshit. I feel less and less sympathetic when black twitter refuses to feel bad for these two because really? Ngozi had to halt her work because of fucking "bias"? I know he left a cult but someone needs to be brutally honest with him.

I still haven't watched the interview, but I'm just going to answer this question because you bring up good points.

Yeah, people don't refer to the British Monarchy as a cult often, but it's such an accurate word honestly. The way members, and even members of the public, are indoctrinated from birth to believe in it wholeheartedly is scary. Harry is almost 40 and, while I do think part of him is trying to ease the pressure on him by not being harsh about the monarchy, it's clear that he still feels some connection towards it. He has been groomed for ~30 years to hold the monarchy above everything.

That's typically why I don't find it cute whenever we see clips of Charlotte telling George to bow or stand straight during God Save The Queen. I don't even like seeing her curtsey. She's seven. She has no idea what the implications of these things are and doesn't possess any understanding of the monarchy outside of what her family tells her. And yet already at seven, she's been trained to treat the monarchy with extreme loyalty and will never be exposed to other views about the British monarchy until she's way into adulthood.

I feel like Harry wants to have it both ways sometimes, where he doesn't want to be viewed as an aggressive threat towards the monarchy despite his issues with it and his family, but he also doesn't understand that his story displays things inherently wrong with the monarchy as a system. However, I kind of think he needs to get over it. The people who believe he is an aggressive threat to the monarchy won't suddenly stop believing that, no matter what he says. I don't expect Harry to be a socialist or a republican or a radical. Harry saying yikes-y shit is commonplace. I just want some consistency with his goals, really.

[hologramcowboy]

Speaking of TW cast reminded me that Jensen made fun of meg’s height in one of recent cons. As a 5’3” girl who is very self conscious about my height I found what he said very hurtful. I don’t care for meg but Jensen’s snarky comment made me feel for her. It’s the new Jensen I guess, he tries to be funny at the expense of other people with no regard to anyone else’s feelings because he’s mr. perfect

I am sorry for Jensen's insensitive comments, anon. I think that was, most likely, him trying to be "hip and funny". His humor seems to be stuck at frat boy level and since he has no comedic training...yikes. It wouldn't be the first time he's made insensitive comments that reveal he is extremely judgemental of others, he's made quite a few about certain artists that are, in actuality, more famous than him. When he makes those comments he gives away how immature he is and how superior he considers himself to be.

He was mr. perfect in his early highschool years and at the beginning of his career but failed to capitalize on that image because, while he looked the part, he demonstrated a character far from that essence. Now his brand is all over the place.

To explain my reasoning I'm going to give you an example. Let's say you've been branded as the smokeshow casting wise, the bombshell, whenever anyone thinks of you they associate you to the sultriest of images. If a role was available for such a woman you'd be the first person they would call. You are the one, the most sensual, powerful presence that drives people crazy. There is just one problem, if they were to call you for that part, even though you look like a bombshell (sofia vergara, marylin monroe, scarjo, etc) you are shy, delicate, fragile and too independent so the thought of being a fantasy makes your stomach turn. Therefore, you won't feel comfortable playing that role and it will show. Casting will realize that though you look like a bombshell you have a different essence, you cannot deliver the kind of character they expect from you because your energy is different. So, even though they really want to cast you as that, you are contradicting that essence so they are unable to cast you the way they see you. This creates a problem because, though you are complex, producers want to see you playing supeficial characters because you are stunning so they won't give you the rocket scientist role you wanted because they want you playing that ex VS model who lost her boyfriend and now has to win him back or some variation that plays on your looks only.

Same goes for Jensen, he is not living up to how casting actually sees him and, not only that, he is not being authentic. At least, the example I gave is someone being authentic whose inner self does not resonate with what their looks make people believe about them. In Jensen's case, people cannot even tell who he is and what he is about because he is all over the place and that makes him seem shady to casting. Keep in mind that Jensen has so far only gotten cast by his friends and connection in these latest years. There's a reason for that and it is the dissonance between what he is perceived as and then what he actually demonstrates.

Jensen puts on a snarky persona to create humor and connection (that's what he thinks anyway 🤭) but he does so in an inauthentic way and without proper training so....the results go from somewhat to extremely bad. There is a fake factor that amplifies all of that. It stuns me how he's worked in the industry for so long and yet, to this day, fails to grasp key concepts, knowledge and approaches that make an actor highly effective, charismatic and dynamic. Besides, he pushes the snarky to lack of empathy at times and vibes highly displeased. That's not an attractive energy to be around. It's almost like he has no idea how to amplify or tone down his own layers, which is crucial for an actor to be aware of. What i'm trying to say is, it would benefit Jensen to hang around some of his highly successful peers to understand how they successfully create charismatic moments and to learn from them, learn from the tools they've acquired and the helpful beliefs they've acquired.

[marvelmaniac715]

What if Andy talked to Glenda, what would that conversation be like? They were both together in an episode, but not a word was exchanged between them. I aim to correct that with this fic.

————————————————————

The kid had bright red hair. That was a dead giveaway. Not to mention the piercing blue eyes and the chilling smirk, so similar to the one that haunted his nightmares. This had to be his child.

All of his instincts told him to attack, to end this cursed bloodline in one fell swoop, but they were just a kid. They didn’t personally kill a bunch of people, they were innocent… hopefully.

He was sure that the teen’s Ray blood was crying out for revenge against it’s dreaded nemesis, but the two of them remained civil for the sake of the other people there, also remembering that they were in a place of God and it would be disrespectful.

————————————————————-

When everyone else was busy, Andy and Glenda sat down together, unable to speak for a good few minutes. They both looked down at the floor, unsure how to begin this conversation that their entire lives had been leading up to. It was Glenda who eventually broke the ice.

“So… I gather you knew- uh, know my father?”

Their voice was shaky, clearly unused to being so nervous, but Andy knew that the responsibility of speech now fell on him. So reluctantly, he met the teen’s gaze.

“Yeah, we met when I was six. Your old man… certainly did a number on me.”

He laughed nervously, Glenda joined him, a little awkwardly but not knowing what else to do.

“My dad said on the drive over here that… he hated you, and that I, as his child and therefore his ‘legacy’ or whatever, am meant to hate you as well. But you seem like a nice guy, and… I’m not really in the habit of hating people, are you?”

Andy’s polite smile dropped.

“I hate your dad for sure. He messed up my life and I will kill him for it. I hate your mother because she supports him in all he does. But I don’t hate you… so far at least.”

Glenda smirked, a little more honesty leaking into her carefully built facade of cool, polite indifference.

“If it makes you feel any better pal, I hate my mom too. She’s a self-centred, arrogant, entitled bitch. And my sperm donor ain’t much better. My mom isn’t even my mom, my mom was Jennifer Tilly, but Tiffany Valentine took over her body. My Aunt Meg said that my real mom was so nice, and smart, and funny, and just… cool. I wonder what it would have been like to grow up with my real mom? I hear that one of the last things she wanted to do before the soul transfer was hold her babies. I bet she would have loved both of us much more than Tiffany ever did.”

That little emotional outpouring was unexpected, but tensions were high, and who could blame them? They were a kid who’s life was falling apart at the seams, all because of one killer doll. Andy knew how that felt.

“I love my mom, but your… sperm donor landed her in a mental hospital. She wasn’t crazy, but nobody believed her story. I testified for her, but the courts said that I was just a little boy with an overactive imagination siding with my mother. I wish that justice could have been served, but you can’t change the past, can you?”

Glenda shook their head sadly, smiling softly in agreement.

“No, you can’t, no matter how much you want to. I’d love to see what I was like as a doll, to make sense of these flashbacks I keep having. Every time that bastard calls me Shitface all of these images come flooding back in great tidal waves of information I’m barely given time to process. I think I might have killed someone, but I’m not sure why, how or who. Does that make me a bad person, like my parents?”

Part of Andy wanted to indignantly shout “yes!” But he had no room to talk. He was almost devoid of sanity at this point. Kyle was the only person left who could keep him grounded long enough so that he didn’t end up going on a killing spree. That was just Chucky’s influence, he guessed. He filled you with this burning anger that made you want to destroy everything and everyone in your path. Glenda was his spawn, it was surprising that they were grounded enough to not go on a killing spree like their father.

“No kid, you’re not a bad person. There are very few truly good, decent people left in this world. Chucky probably killed a lot of ‘em.”

Glenda shook their head, frowning.

“My twin Glen is a truly good person. I regret leaving them behind, but they begged to stay with mom, and I was in a rush. I wish they were here with me now, they always know what to say and do. They’re the more empathetic twin, they keep me grounded when I start to go off the rails. I just don’t feel completely… whole, with them gone, y’know? Then again, I never feel entirely whole. It’s like there’s… something missing from me.”

Andy could relate to this completely.

“I totally get what you mean. I haven’t felt whole since my sixth birthday. Chucky stole my childhood, and with it any joy that I might have known. I don’t even remember much of my happy childhood days, I was so young back then. All I know is blood and darkness, and part of me is missing.”

Glenda put a tentative hand on top of Andy’s clenched fist and smiled a little.

“I hope you find the missing part of your soul one day.”

Andy smiled back, unclenching his fist and squeezing Glenda’s hand in return.

“Thanks, I hope you find the missing part of your soul one day too.”

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the steady ticking of the clock, then Glenda chuckled, a low, almost familiar sound that didn’t sound half as sinister as their father’s trademark cackle. Andy wasn’t sure why they were laughing until their face broke out into a wide, joyful, genuine grin.

“My dad would be pissed if he saw us talking like this. He’d be screeching at me to strangle you or tear your arm off or something. That guy has serious issues.”

Andy laughed as well, finally getting the joke. He grabbed the teapot that was resting on the table between them and poured two cups of tea.

“To the final death of Charles Lee Ray, who fucked both of us up real good.”

Glenda snorted and raised their cup at the same time Andy did.

“I’ll drink to that. Cheers!”