#· * ⁎ ━ anonymous. ❛ alien lifeform.

[monsterfloofs]

Alien x Anonymous Reader (Sfw)

(Got to write a little something for my new alieum speices! : > I hope you enjoy! )

It was a whole different experience to arrive at an intergalactic hub with no way to communicate. The typical buzz of translated voices in your ear was replaced with a cacophony of musical sounds, clicking, trills and other inhuman vocalizations. Not that you hadn’t heard them before, but while your tech was working you had been more focused on conversations you could hear and understand. The ability to understand the world around you newly disrupted by static that had buzzed and sputtered angrily into your eardrum. Now that your com portal had chosen the most inopportune time to fizzle out on you, this typical background din had engulfed your attention. A choir of many different voices and dialects, none of which sounded anything remotely like something you could comprehend.

You startled as you were pushed into the crowd, trying to evade one pushy lifeform had you accidentally colliding into another.

You brought your hands up in a plaintive gesture. “Sorry, I’m sorry,” The being blinked at you, tilting its head this way and that, pinchers moving silently. The realization hit hard, without your device working, they couldn’t understand you either. A wave of embarrassment rolled over you as you tried to gesture with your hands. Pointing towards your ear and waving your hands back and forth.

“My com is broken, I can’t um—- Ugh!” The only thing you could think of is to bow apologetically and hurry away before you get yourself into any more trouble.

“This stinks,” You mutter to yourself. “I can’t even ask for my ship to be refueled without this stupid thing working.” You exit the flowing crowd to stop at a quiet space and take a deep calming breath. A hand placed on your heart as you tried to steady your nerves. You didn’t like crowds at the best of times, all those bodies pressing in on you from every direction made your heart do panicked backflips in your chest. You counted your inhale as you felt your lungs rising up against your ribcage. Letting out the exhale for as long as you can stand before starting the pattern again. From this vantage point the crowds don't look that bad, the noise wasn’t as jarring, and you begin to feel like you can breathe easy again.

You observe one distinct looking alien waddling across the shiny tilted floor. It was a species you hadn’t seen before. They had a long snaked head and neck that smoothed into a humanoid torso but ended with a quadruped body with stumpy legs. Like an alligator with the head of a snake, that was fused with a human torso inbetween. With the air of some kind of strange centaur, it waddled along slowly. Its squat lizard legs padded with a pair of synthetic boots that were form fitted to its reptilian toes. It was amusing to note that a lot of aliens gave this being a wide berth, and it made you smile.

At least some beings in the galaxy weren’t letting themselves be pushed around. This fella was taking life in their own stride, and nobody dared telling them to hurry up. At least, not that you could hear anyway. That long neck swiveled towards you, and you saw six white glassy eyes peer at you from above the snake like snoot. You duck your head apologetically, quick to look away. You fumble to retrieve your cell device out of your pocket, looking through the maps of the station. “It looks like there's a help desk on the next floor. . . I am going to hope and pray that someone can understand english.”

Staying at the fringes of the crowd you stick close to the shiny chrome walls, hopping into an elevator that would bring you onto the next level. You do a surprise double take as they see the alligator snake centaur standing alone in the elevator. It’s beady eyes trained on you. The door closes with a ping and the two of you stand awkwardly together.

The being scratches its throat with a clawed hand, before what sounds like a symphony of crickets, come from the back of its throat.

You blink, your eyebrows shooting up at the sound.

“Um. . . Excuse me?”

More cricket sounds, and you grimace awkwardly, before nervously tapping at your ear.

“I can’t— er, I don’t— understand you.”

The pitch drops, sounding more like a swarm locust than crickets. It’s snout cracking open slightly to be able to produce the sound. You fidget anxiously, shoving your hand in your pocket to produce your com, then gesturing with your hands. Tucking the com into one palm before bringing your fists together, thumb down. Then you pull your hands, twisting your wrists. Mimicking a gesture that would be akin to snapping a stick.

“My com is broken,” You tap at your ear again, then demonstrate with your hands.

“Broken.”

You hear crickets again, and rub the back of your neck sheepishly. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to crowd your elevator.” You perk up as the elevator door slides open, and with a sigh of relief you smile and wave to the strange alligator centaur.

“Well ah, I would say thanks for the chat, but um, you can’t understand me anyway. Haha, h-have a good day?” You step out onto the new platform, raising a hand to your forehead to try and see around the wave of new colorful station inhabitants. With your phone in one hand and your com back into your pocket you begin to navigate your way through the second floor.

Stopping with a sigh at the counter.

“Hi,” You begin, a deep baritone rumble coming from the severe looking creature from across the desk. Its deep forebrow raises skeptically as you smile awkwardly.

“Uh, uh, here!” You slide the com over the counter, and the being picks it up with a frown.

“It’s. . . ah”

You glance behind you as the reptilian being from the elevator waddles up to the counter. Their sixed glazed pearly eyes peer at you. “Did you need the help desk too?”

Crickets.

Crickets that the alien at the desk is able to hear, the brooding chiseled features lighten with understanding. A growly rumble coming from deep within its chest as it bares its teeth. Obviously laughing at you as your new friend explains your predicament.

“Hey!” You throw your hands up in defeat, “It wasn’t like I wanted to run around not being understood!”

You scrunch your nose as the two beings then engage in conversation, leaving you promptly in the dust. The alien behind the counter rises, pulling a monitor screen over for you, as words begin to jitter across the glass.

“Language?” The metallic voice hums boredly.

“Ah-Earthian English please, thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” replies the Ai, a little nicer than before.

You visibly sag in relief as english words start scrolling across the screen.

[ Communicator is down? ]

“Yes!” You wheeze in exhaustion and relief. There’s more rumbling laughter and a flash of teeth from the bulky alien at the desk.

[ Damn, that’s rough ]

“Oh man, you have no idea, I think I was going to start hyperventilating here, soon. Do you think you can fix it?”

[ I’ll take a look at it and see what I can do. If not, there is a place at the station where you can buy a new one. I’ll wire the store coordinates to your phone, what’s the number? ]

“You’re a life saver, it’s 177-333-9973-602, I can’t thank you enough.”

You bring up your phone, tapping it to the ai screen and it plings as the new information comes through.

[ If I can’t get your com fixed, I will tell the owner you’re heading their way. ]

You take a deep breath and nod.

“Okay, thank you. Thank you again.”

The alien grunts, an amused smile still scrawled over their broad face as they turn away to tinker with the com.

“Well,” You say, turning to your snooted friend, “This has been quite a day, and it’s not even lunch yet.”

♡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡♡

Enjoy what I write? I have a tip jar! I also take writing and art commissions on kofi! ヽ(*ᵔ▿ᵔ)ﾉ

[surveillance-0011]

ok something that is interesting 2 me but also low-key bugging me:

the Bounty Hunter, before they get the suit, breathes on Nova Sanctus just fine. Nipulon and Garmantuous also seem just fine on Earth. You can chalk these instances to minimal exposure to these new atmospheres. But meanwhile all the G3 Grunts and Gatliens seem to breathe just fine wherever and it's basically implied Garm is just running around Earth the whole time too... oh and Lizzie is perfectly fine as well.

So how do all the planets' atmospheres compare? Are they all the same or similar enough that the inhabitants of each can breathe on them all with minimal struggle/discomfort? Is this adaptability the work of other quickly-spread microbes? Are some organisms like the gatlians + merks just more well adapted to the various environments?? That could work esp for the Gatlians who could have very well evolved to be uber-versatile so they can be used as weapons wherever, increasing the odds of worldwide or even intergalactic symbiotic relations. Extremophiles, maybe? Or at least a sort of jack of all trades biologically speaking??????

No matter what the explanation, it does point to most alien lifeforms being the same sort of carbon-based life with similar needs. Except for with... whatever is going on with Giblets, considering he's perpetually in that suit of his.

And ofc the bounty hunter still wears the helmet whenever, which would be useful when the atmosphere could prove harmful and protect against viruses and pollutants in the atmosphere. And not to mention general protection against weaponry and serving as a source of anonymity for the job at hand.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

House Isekai: Subnautica AU Masterpost

House Isekai Masterlist Here

**This was from my og blog, but this is all the Subnautica crossover posts from the OG House Isekai into one place! Hope you get a good laugh out of this!

The adventures of House Isekai brings them to an utterly alien planet, and  are forced to fight for survival underwater in the horrific and beautiful world of Subnautica!

===

Anononymous asked: Laura will probably fare well in Subnautica

(Rean) “Hey, has anyone seen Laura? I haven’t seen her in the lifeboat or the base.”

(Ainz) “I think she said she was going to go swimming as practice.”

(Rean) “What?! We were told to stick together!”

(Ainz) “I doubt she went far. Besides, it’s Laura we’re talking about. She’s not stupid.”

MEANWHILE

(Laura) 

AGGRESSIVE BUBBLING

===

unknownsymbol367 asked: Imagine aqua attracting some of the bigger, scarier, dangerous sea beasts all by accident in subnautica.

(Kazuma) “WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU TELL US THAT YOU ATTRACT FISH YOU USELESS GODDESS?! NO WONDER THESE FUCKING THINGS HAVE BEEN ALL OVER US!”

(Aqua) “B-Because these are ALIEN fish, Kazuma! How was I supposed to know it applies to aliens!?”

(Megumin) “Uh, I think they’re trying to break through the windows-”

(Darkness) “Ooooh, I wonder how sharp those teeth are-”

(Kazuma) “AQUA’S ABOUT TO FIND OUT FIRST!”

(Aqua) “SCREW YOU KAZUMA, I’M SORRY OKAY!? I-I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEM GO AWAY…Wait, that’s it! I CAN CALL IN A REALLY SCARY FISH TO MAKE THEM GO AWAY!”

(Kazuma) “Wha-NO NO NO NO! DON’T YOU-”

“Warning. Leviathan-class lifeform is approaching the base.”

(Minato) “Uh, guys?”

(Minako) “HOLY SHIT!”

(Yu) “I don’t think our swords can go through that.”

(Akira) “Morgana, can you turn into a submarine?”

(Morgana) “YOU IDIOT, I CAN’T BREATHE UNDERWATER!”

- Doomguy looked at his wristblade, then back at the Reaper Leviathan. He repeated this process a few times.

(Yuuri) “Everyone, we need to get our oxygen tanks!”

(Albedo) “Lord Ainz, what do we do?”

(Ainz) “MY GOD THAT’S HUGE-…ahem…WE PREPARE FOR BATTLE!”

(Byleth) “…Why is it when something happens its always you four?”

(Kazuma) “GOD DAMN IT AQUA!”

===

Anonymous asked: I bet the Slayer's Cyclops is named "BFSub" while his seamoth is "SFSub"

(Byleth) “You know Slayer, You seem to use the letters “BF” for a lot of your weapons and vehicles. What does that even stand for?”

- Doomguy grabbed his PDA (Handheld PC) and typed on it for a moment before giving it to Byleth.

(Byleth) “Big fucking-OOOH. So your sub is Big Fucking Sub. Okay, got it…Then the little one must be…Small fucking sub?”

- Doomguy nodded.

(Byleth) “…Well, I’ve heard worse names.”

===

Anonymous asked: Imagine House Isekai using a submarine.

The Bridge

(Cocytus) “DO ANY OF US ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THIS…MACHINE?”

(Sara) “Psh, absolutely not. I don’t even know how to use orbal cars.”

(Sharon) “I am afraid my training did not cover controlling submersibles.”

(Cocytus) “…THEN WHY WERE WE PUT IN CHARGE OF DRIVING?”

(Sara) “I mean, all the staff are in charge. Byleth, Megunee, Towa and Angelica too. If we put our heads together, we can think of something.”

(Sharon) “Lady Sara, do you honestly think that we can get the hang of driving before we crash straight into a rock?”

(Sara) “…Probably not.”

Storage/Entrance

(Akira) “It’s pretty impressive that we all got a Cyclops now.”

(Yu) “Yeah, it took a couple days but it’s really cool seeing this in action. Though, should all of us be packed into it? It’s big, but not that big.”

(Minako) “Well, it’s to get familiar. We’re going to get more submarines for each group. Soon us Persona Users will get our very own sub!”

(Minato) “I’m not exactly sure that’s a good idea. I trust tech savvy people like Futaba, Aigis, and Naoto but…people like Ryuji and Junpei worry me.”

(Yu) “I guess we’ll find out.”

(Akira) “…I think I’m having second thoughts about being a part of a Cyclops.”

Engines

(Ainz) …How the hell are we supposed to make this thing work?! I’ve never even seen a submarine before when I was still in the real world! More importantly there was never anything like this in Yg-

(Albedo) “Lord Ainz?”

(Ainz) “Hm? Oh, Albedo. What is it?”

(Albedo) “Demiurge and I have finished looking at the engines, and we have confirmed there will be no trouble in maintaining it.”

(Ainz) “HM?!”

(Demiurge) “It was a bit of trouble at first, but combined with our magic and the PDA’s assistance, we can safely traverse whatever the ocean may throw at the Cyclops!”

(Ainz) “Ah…G-Good work. I can always rely on you two no matter the situation.”

(Demiurge) “T-Thank you Lord Ainz!”

(Albedo) “You are too kind!”

(Ainz) No, really. I’m pretty sure we’d explode if I got something wrong, it’s a miracle that you managed to make heads and tails of this thing…Thank god Kazuma’s group isn’t working the engines…

Loading Bay

(Kazuma) “What, Aqua?”

(Aqua) “A-Are you sure this thing is safe?! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

(Kazuma) “Hell no I’m not sure. None of us here has even been in anything remotely like this. Well except Doomguy, but he’s on bodyguard detail.”

(Aqua) “THEN WHY ARE WE IN THIS DEATH-TRAP?!”

(Kazuma) “You wanna be swimming out there with seaglider where something can eat your sorry ass whole instead of this massive titanium reinforced hull?”

(Aqua) “I…ugh!”

(Yuki) “Hey, hey! Come look at this Megunee!”

(Megumi) “A-Ah! Please don’t run, Yuki!”

(Kurumi) “Even on an alien world, she’s still having fun.”

(Yuuri) “A little TOO much fun. This entire place is terrifying!”

(Miki) “I mean, I find this trip fun as well. I’ve always wondered what it was like to scuba dive.”

(Yuuri) “I’d rather have done so in a coral reef on Earth.”

(Kurumi) “Technically, our first base was in the Shallows where there are coral reefs-”

(Yuuri) “Don’t get technical on me, Kurumi.”

(Miki) “Hah, well I admit it’s scary, but it’s a sense of terror and amazement!”

(Kurumi) “Agreed…Except the Leviathans…I wonder if I can hit them with my shove-”

(Yuuri) “No.”

===

Anonymous asked: Megumin is gonna have a blast when the aurora explodes.

- Megumin stood on top of the lifeboat, eyeing longingly at the Aurora in the distance.

- Futaba poked her head out the hatch and raised an eyebrow.

(Futaba) “Oh, hey. What are you doing here? I thought you were with Kazuma and the others.”

(Megumin) “I was but now I’m about to watch some fireworks!”

(Futaba) “Fireworks?”

(Megumin) “Yeah, the Aurora’s about to explode!”

(Futaba) “…W-What? I thought our timeframe was 2 hours!”

(Megumin) “Apparently it reached critical state only a few minutes ago-”

(Futaba) “AND YOU JUST NOW TOLD ME?!”

- Futaba’s clothes changed as she got into her Persona and frantically reached for the screen.

(Futaba) “EVERYONE, GET BEHIND COVER OR TO THE LIFEBOAT RIGHT NOW!”

- Everyone stopped what they were doing in the waters and reached for their PDA’s.

[Radio](Byleth) “Huh?”

[Radio](Akira) “What’s wrong?!”

[Radio](Kazuma) “Wait hang on, why?”

Emergency: A quantum detonation has occurred in the Aurora’s drive core.

[Radio](Rean) “Ooooh crap!”

[Radio](Byleth) “SHIT!”

The reactor will reach a super critical state in T- 10,

[Radio](Ainz) “DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!”

9

[Radio](Megumi) “EVERYONE, IN THE CAVE!-”

8

[Radio](Yu) “LIFEBOAT, NOW!”

7

[Radio](Minako) “SHITSHITSHIT-”

6

[Radio](Minato) “OVER THERE, GO!”

5

- Doomguy shrugged and continued looking for resources.

4

[Radio](Darkness) “K-Kazuma! You’re so rou-”

3-3-…

[Radio](Kazuma) “SHUT THE FUCK UP, DON’T SAY THAT OVER THE RADIO WHERE EVERYONE CAN HEAR-…WHERE’S MEGUMIN?!”

2-2-

(Futaba) “MEGUMIN, GET DOWN HERE NOW!”

(Megumin) “ARE YOU KIDDING, I GOTTA SEE THIS!”

O-

KAFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

(Megumin) “Explosions are such a beautiful thing! If only I could be so grossly incandescent…-”

(Futaba) “KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN, SHOCKWAVE INCOMING!”

(Megumin) “…Shockwa-?”

On Kazuma’s Cyclops: The Wiz…

- Kazuma drove the Cyclops in the open waters, calmly watching his sonar and hearing the hum of the engine.

- Darkness watched the engines alongside Kurumi and Yuuri while Megumin and Yuki were in the vehicle bay.

- Aqua and Miki were in the bridge with Kazuma, watching the status of the ship quietly.

- Until Aqua spoke up.

(Aqua) “OH MY GOD IM SO BOOORED!”

(Miki) “Um, isn’t quiet in a place like this a good thing?”

(Kazuma) “Yeah, having nothing to do in a killer planet means we’re solid! And besides, we said we were going to get copper and stuff, why did you even tag along if you knew nothing would happen?”

(Aqua) “I don’t wanna be left alone at the base!”

(Kazuma) “Then quit bitching.”

(Miki) “That’s a bit harsh, Kazuma.”

(Kazuma) “Oh don’t you start too, Naoki. You’ve been here long enough to know how I am.”

- Miki sighed.

(Miki) “Fair enough. Oh Aqua! Why don’t you read one of my novels?”

(Aqua) “And fall asleep? No thanks. Ugh whatever. At least nothing bad can happen as we’re going back.”

Warning. Entering Ecological Dead Zone.

(Aqua) “HUH?!”

- The waters in front of Kazuma’s bridge went from a clear blue into almost pitch black as he slowly turned to face Aqua.

(Kazuma) “You gotta be fucking kidding me, Aqua.”

(Miki) “M-MULTIPLE TARGETS APPROACHING THE CYCLOPS BRIDGE!”

- Kazuma reached for the mic they installed near the bridge.

(Kazuma) “HEY EVERYONE, STRAP IN, AQUA GOT US INTO SOME DEEP SH…CRAP!”

(Yuki) “Huh? What’s happening?”

(Darkness) “LEVIATHANS?!”

(Kurumi) “Please don’t make that face.”

(Aqua) “HEY WHY IS IT MY FAU-…”

- Aqua’s face suddenly went pale as she looked out the windows.

- Kazuma and Miki turned to the direction Aqua was facing.

(Kazuma) *a noise that can’t decide whether its a swear or gibberish*

(Aqua) “WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?!”

Anonymous asked: Everybody gangsta until the warpers speak English.

(Sothis) “Hm? Child, we have a new message from the radio.”

(Byleth) “Oh, we do. Heads up everyone, we got a new message coming in. It could be someone responding to our distress signal.”

(Yuuri) “I hope it is…”

(Ainz) “It could be another lifepod, maybe we could find survivors.”

(Minato) “I sorta doubt it, considering all of them have been torn open.”

(Minako) “That’s optimistic…”

(Yu) “But he’s not wrong for thinking it, is he?”

(Aqua) “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s going to be friendly!-”

Playing partially translated broadcast.

▀▖┗▛New biological subjects designated. Mode ▄▖▜▚┣: hunting/analyzing. Sharing subject locations with other agents.

(Everyone) “…”

(Akira) “…I don’t think that was human.”

(Sothis) “What was your first hint?!”

(Kazuma) “What. The. F…Hell, was that?”

(Rean) “You just HAD to open your mouth, huh?”

(Aqua) “OH COME ON, NOW WE’RE BEING HUNTED?!”

(Yuuri) “How do we even know if they’re watching us?”

“…”

(Yuuri) “Put more camera drones everywhere, are we in agreement?”

(Everyone) “Yup.”

===

Day 1 with the Konosuba Gang

(Rise) “Okay, so from what we’re able to scan, this shallow reef seems to be safe to explore, so we’ll split into groups, grab whatever you guys think will be useful!”

(Byleth) “We’ll be going into our respective groups that we came in with. House Reps, you will be the leader of your group.”

- Kazuma and his group nodded, and dived into the water.

- The first area they went into was a somewhat small cave.

(Aqua) “Oooh, this weird tube thing looks pretty!”

(Darkness) “Is it edible?”

- Kazuma put a scanner to it and read the name.

“Acid Mushroom”

(Kazuma) “…Nope.”

- Kazuma continued to swim off as Aqua stared at it.

(Aqua) “Hm…We could use it for something. Right?”

(Darkness) “I will go find the most hostile fish in this area and…hehehe, fight it!”

- With an insane look in her eye, she swam away.

(Kazuma) “Megumin? Find anything in there?”

- Megumin was inside the cave and found a small red-plant like creature.

(Megumin) “I think so?”

- The plant revealed an eye, which made Megumin jump.

(Megumin) “K-Kazuma?!”

- A creature with a giant eye made an unholy noise as it bolted towards Megumin.

HUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

- A massive explosion could be heard from across the entire shallows as it jolted Aqua and Kazuma into attention.

(Kazuma) “What the hell!? MEGUMIN!”

- Megumin swam out of the cave with her scuba gear clearly dented as a crazy smile took over her.

(Megumin) “THESE CREATURES! THEY KNOW THE ART OF EXPLOSIONS!”

(Kazuma) “You gotta be- KAMIKAZE FISH?! THAT’S GREAT!”

(Aqua) “Hm…”

- Aqua purified the mushroom and looked at it curiously.

(Kazuma) “DO NOT EAT THAT MUSHROOM! Where’s Darkness?!”

(Darkness) “How disappointing.

- Kazuma and the group saw Darkness getting bitten by some shark-like creature.

(Darkness) “These predators will not provide the stimulation I crave.”

- She punched it so hard it flew into the nearby coral tubes, splitting it apart as if it were paper.

(Kazuma) “OH FOR FUCKS SAKE, DON’T GO PICKING FIGHTS WITH THE PREDATORS-”

(Aqua) “K-Kazuma?!”

- The fish began to swarm Aqua, which eventually led to those same shark creatures headed her direction.

(Kazuma) “RETREAT! RETREAT!”

(Aqua) “Psh, it’s just a buncha fish! THEY’RE NO MATCH FOR THIS GODDESS-”

- The predators began to bite Aqua.

(Aqua) “OWOWOWOWOW-”

- Kazuma began swearing loudly and incoherently as he brought up his knife and tried to save Aqua as Megumin and Darkness took care of the exploding fish being drawn to Aqua.

30 minutes later…

(Sharon) “Welcome back, Master Satou.”

(Kazuma) “Ugh…”

- Kazuma flopped onto the lifeboat’s floor, dragging up Megumin, Aqua and Darkness.

- Sharon helped them up and calmly got a towel while Kazuma continued to groan.

(Sharon) “May I ask what you have found?”

- Kazuma reached into his pocket and put them near Sharon’s feet.

- A fish, several teeth from the shark-like fish, some acid mushrooms, and 1 piece of titanium.

(Sharon) “Would you like some tea?”

(Kazuma) “Please?”

===

New Class VII visit the back of the Aurora

- Altina drove the Seamoth forward while the rest of Class VII tagged along on their seagliders.

- Juna kept looking around left and right until Kurt spoke.

(Juna) “Juna, are you alright?”

(Kurt) “Ugh…No, not really. I don’t like this place is all. It’s so…alien.”

(Ash) “Well yeah, it’s another planet.”

(Juna) “Bah, you know what I mean! We were never trained for this, surviving underwater!”

(Musse) “Neither was the original House Isekai, but they still survived!”

(Altina) “Instructors Rean, Towa, Aigis, and Kazuma seem to have sufficient knowledge of the planet, despite how much time has passed.”

(Juna) “I wonder how the others are doing right now…”

(Kurt) “If I had to guess, like us. Especially the Garreg Mach students, I don’t think they ever anticipated on going on a journey like this.”

(Musse) “Hm…I don’t think the original three houses ever went on this planet, did they?”

(Ash) “Don’t think Rean mentioned it…Er, Altina where are we going?”

- Class VII only now realized where they were. The waters had changed from a blue-green tint to almost brown.

- They couldn’t see very well in front of them.

(Altina) “I was told to search for blueprints. The back of the crash site seemed like the most likely area to find some.”

(Juna) “Wasn’t this the one place all the Instructors told us NOT to go?”

(Ash) “Eh, I’m sure it’s fi-”

GROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR

- Altina looked to her right and almost stopped breathing when she felt her Seamoth shake violently.

- The Reaper Leviathan grabbed her Seamoth and swam towards the sand cliffs, slamming it down.

(Juna) “OH MY GOD, ALTINA!”

(Kurt) “We have to help her!”

(Ash) “GET THAT BASTARD!”

(Musse) “Arcus, activate!”

(Altina) “I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE-”

…

(Diluc) “…Hm. Class VII still hasn’t returned.”

(Elizabeth) “Oh dear, you’re right. Should we go look for them?”

(Venti) “I’m sure they’re fine. They’d just call us if they were in trouble.”

(Amber) “Still, this place looks pretty dangerous.”

(Helena) “I think we’re underestimating their skills. They’ll be back.”

…

- All of Class VII was on the Reaper Leviathan, stabbing it with tools and weapons while Altina was still in the seamoth, getting crushed.

(Altina) “CLASS VII, I AM PINNED HERE-”

(Juna) “DIE, DIE DIE DIE!-”

(Kurt) “THE SWORDS WON’T GO THROUGH!”

(Ash) “COME ON YA SON OF A BITCH!”

(Musse) “This rifle is going STRAIGHT INTO YOUR EYE-”

…

(Diluc) “…You’re probably right.”

===

Garreg Mach Students getting used to the ocean

The Garreg Mach students flew out on their seagliders around the safe shallows, being instructed to grab whatever copper they could find.

Sitri followed them since everyone who had been here before was required to stick with a group.

Not to mention she had been here with Byleth before.

(Elizabeth) “Ugh, this is quite unpleasant…”

(Helena) “What, don’t like the ocean?”

(Elizabeth) “Helena, dear. I enjoy the ocean as much as any girl would-”

(Kairos) “Could’ve fooled me.-”

(Elizabeth) “Shut up, Kairos. And I like walking near the beach, and even swimming. But living inside it and fighting nature? No, I do not like it at all.”

(Stefan) “Y-Yeah this is a bit much for swimming.”

(Astrid) “Least we’re all getting our exercise!”

(Kairos) “…Sure.”

(Helena) “It’ll give us experience in case we ever need to swim underwater.”

(Elizabeth) “Where in Fodlan do we possibly need to swim?!”

(Helena) “With all the places the House keeps dragging us into, it might be handy. Hell, it came in handy for Sitri.”

The group stopped swimming and looked at Sitri, who was gliding right behind them.

(Sitri) “Well, I learned it on the fly like you all are currently. But it is helpful that we’ve been to this world before.”

(Stefan) “Just how many have you been to, Lady Sitri?”

(Sitri) “Let’s see…Here, that one world in the far future, the one where we had to hunt ghosts, the one with the talking animals…”

(Helena) “See? She now has skills that’ll be helpful for surviving in another world.”

(Kairos) “How many times has she been underwater for it?”

Sothis appeared behind Sitri, though the students didn’t seem to notice.

(Sothis) “If only they had met Aqua…”

(Sitri) Yeah, I bet they would’ve been terrified of Leviathans…

(Astrid) “Anyways, this place is seriously freaky. The giant sea monsters trying to eat us, and we can’t even use magic here!”

(Helena) “We could always visit the back of the ship like Class VII did.”

(Kairos) “A-ABSOLUTELY NOT, HELENA!”

(Elizabeth) “Do you have a deathwish, dear?!”

(Stefan) “It’s not so much them I’m worried about, as I am about the dark…”

Everyone shuddered.

(Helena) “That’s true, we can’t really see if something’s coming up from behind, and it might just emerge from the-”

(Astrid) “GAAH, SHUT UP SHUT UUUUP! Ugh, I wanna go back home…”

(Elizabeth) “Sitri, ma'am, how did you survive here last time?”

(Sitri) “Well we all took our own Submarines. I think if you ask Kazuma to ride with him on ‘The Wiz’ he’ll let you.”

(Kairos) “Does Professor Kazuma even know how to drive it?”

(Sitri) “Better than most of us did. The only other ones were the old staff.”

(Stefan) “Then what about you?”

(Sitri) “Um…”

(Helena) “Great confidence there, ma'am.”

(Astrid) “C-Come on, you can be a little nicer.”

(Kairos) “Let’s just go back inside, I’m suddenly feeling a bit queasy…”

[wythmoonie]

Hello! (I am too shy to not "ask" as an anonymous person)

I started reading your fanfic (how to survive an alien planet while being relentlessly bullied by its lifeforms, yes I copy pasted) like.. 4 days ago (no idea) and it was over before I could realize it! Oh god it's so great, I'm so hyped about it but I just got to the last chapter. (Oh noo, poor me)

So all I really wanted is to say:

Thank you for your time to write this awesome story and I will give you all my patience and I would like to give you more than one kudos but I am unable to do that.

Also, no rushing, take your time, be sure to take care of yourself and sleep enough, eat enough. And I will wait for the next chapter.

Byee, have a nice day!

- R (good job if you can recognize me by my kudos, please forget me, I only could write because I'm too hyped lol)

I'm happy to hear ur enjoying my fanfic!! sorry for taking so long to update it. Life's been busy, and I appreciate the thought of more kudos, I wish I could receive more of them too, LOL

hope ur having a nice day and thank you for reading!

[apexulansis]

no, no have you ever found a lifeform that found YOU repulsive? like they looked at *you* and went 'ew'? how often does that happen and what is it usually that irks them?

omg my bad my brain read that completely incorrectly...

“I don't know if I would say repulsive, but... Off putting, most definitely. The 'smiling' seems to really unsettle aliens sometimes. I don't exactly make showing my face a habit, though... The anonymity I usually display means there isn't much beyond the surface-level to be disgusted by. Maybe my fashion sense? I suppose some of the more hygienic have found my propensity for being covered in viscera to be rather disgusting.” He shrugged. “Doesn't happen often. People I encounter like that usually expect the violence.”

[onestepfcrward]

anonymous said: Are there any aspects of themselves your muse tries to ignore or hide? Why?

the whole dark arms thing, definitely. imagine witnessing these frightening carnivorous aliens ravaging and conquering the planet and plan to turn the place into a protein palace, and realizing you are related to them. suddenly these impulses and instincts you’ve had your whole life make sense and you’re utterly disgusted with yourself. surely you’re more than that, right? you are what the professor intended you to be, the world’s ultimate lifeform and the perfect existence. shadow does not like thinking about how he’s related to those extra terrestrials so much that he blew up their comet KDSHFKSA. he doesn’t like thinking about it because it makes him feel like a monster. he actively has to suppress the urges and instincts he has because he swore he’d protect this planet, not try to rule it. imagine how awkward it is to be sitting there with a coworker and have intrusive thoughts about murder and violence. he just hates it, man. don’t remind him.

[adobe-outdesign]

what if aliens had to try and understand humans and their culture but the only resource they had was this blog

Aliens: so everyone on earth worships a demon made of ink

Me, nodding: go on

[writingwithcolor]

Hindu perspective on an extraterrestrial being

Anonymous asked:

Hi there, I have a question that I hope isn’t too strange. I was wondering if one/some of your mods could give me insight on how a Hindu character (living in near-future America) might react to encountering a near-omniscient or “godlike” alien lifeform, one with purview over a wide area of several galaxies but not the entire universe nor the future (although it does experience time differently than humans) – trying not to get bogged down in the details here, essentially the being consists of extremely small (atomic-level) “tendrils” connected to various points across the galaxy, able to intersect with objects including living organisms, and communicates with humans by dispersing spores which are inhaled.

I have only a very surface-level understanding of Hinduism, but from what I know, one of the central concepts is Brahman, an ultimate cosmic energy/being that (or who?) is not fully understandable to humans but has supreme influence and knowledge of the universe. There are also Devas and other kinds of spirits/entities that exist on different planes of existence than humans? Please correct me if this is wrong.

So my question is, how would a practitioner of Hinduism likely feel about coming into contact with an extraterrestrial being with a very higher-than-human-scale way of interacting the universe? My intent is absolutely not to have this extraterrestrial being “"disprove”“ Hinduism or any religion, although it would definitely upset our understanding of science/technology, and I’d like to make it clear here as well as in-text that the being is not the creator of the universe or its ruler, it is just a lifeform spanning a very large area, with much greater knowledge of the universe than humans. How would this be viewed from a religious Hindu perspective? Would it be reasonable for a character to interpret the existence of this creature in a way that connects to the Hindu system of deities? Or is this totally off-base, and they would consider the extraterrestrial to be something outside the realm of Hinduism or not applicable to it?

Interesting. I personally don’t see a problem with this because 

a) your alien lifeform is not being touted as a saviour or creator 

b) it’s not set out to invalidate Hinduism, which would otherwise raise the troubling implications of pseudoarchaeology and 

c) Hindu cosmology allows for the existence of multiple parallel universes, each occupied by living beings. In fact, the supposedly objective reality of our earthly domain is said to be a form of “maya” or celestial illusion. In such cases, the existence of life outside of our plane of existence wouldn’t be incongruous to Hindu beliefs.

Besides this, as a Hindu moderator whose first Bollywood experience was an alien-centric film, here’s my non-sarcastic. non-derisive advice for you: watch Koi Mil Gaya (2003). I think, for all its desi-typical mushy romance and lots of dramatic crying, it’s still actually a really good example of an Indian film where the protagonist (whose mother is a devout Vaishnavite Hindu) never faces any sort of internal existential crisis of faith upon meeting a powerful alien entity. In fact, insofar as I remember, he actually thanks Lord Vishnu for sending him his new “friend” while his mother, herself the wife of a scientist, never thinks of the alien as something “profane” in the religious sense of the word. This may seem offbeat but I really think this movie can help you get an idea of the situation you described.

(Alternatively, PK [2014] satirizes the weaponization and commodification of religion in India by having an alien face off against a fraudulent godman, you can check that out for a different perspective, although if you’re not desi it’s best not to use this form of satire for such touchy topics.) 

- Mod Mimi

[kaablooie]

Attack of the Terraphobes

(Back to the beginning: Part 1)

Part 5.

Human Research Project, entry 23 by Zenotrekat Xenobiologist; 1 degree, Day 12: Subject shows much greater intelligence than initially thought the human species was capable of. The speed at which Camden has been able to pick up Common has been impressive. It is likely due to the complex and illogical nature of human languages that we have underestimated their mental capacity in this regard. The straightforwardness and logical syntax structure of Common is proving well within this human’s grasp.

“Zeno, what was that?” Camden asked his captor curiously. They were having one of their language sessions and a tremor had just gone through the ship.

It was at that moment that Shanza came barreling into the compartment that Zeno and Camden used for their lessons. The way these aliens moved on their lower four tentacles, Camden really thought it was more gliding than barreling. Either way, it was clear that something had her worried.

Zeno and Shanza quickly conversed in that strange chripping language they used when they didn’t want Camden to understand them.

“What’s going on?” Camden demanded.

Zeno looked over at him, “The Terraphobes have found us and are attempting to dock with our ship.”

“Terraphobes?” Camden asked raising an eyebrow. 

Zeno waved a tentacle at him in impatience. “They are a radical group strongly against any contact with Earth or the lifeforms it contains. They monitor this area to ensure humans don’t develop the technology to leave and that no one comes in to take any, legally or otherwise. We need to get to the weapons locker.”

As they ran/glided down the corridor Camden asked, “How are they already docking with us? Don’t you have ship to ship weapons? Can’t we fire at them before they manage to get aboard?”

Zeno looked at him in his approximation of shock - essentially some flesh sack on his chest inflating quickly Camden had come to learn. “And risk killing them in their ship?! We don’t use weapons like that, anonymously and from afar. The stun and sedate weapons are what we use. It is considered an unfathomable atrocity to make or carry any lethal weapon and no species in the Galactic Consortium would ever do such a thing.”

Now it was Camden’s turn to be shocked. “So what you’re saying is that these Terraphobes that are trying to board are not out to kill us? And that they won’t have weapons that can do so anyway?”

“Er, not exactly. They will try and stun or sedate everyone on board, then they will airlock you and destroy any research regarding Humans and Earth that they can find. My crew and I they will simply leave where we fall and once they have achieved their objective will leave the rest of the ship unharmed.”

“Oh, I see,” Camden stated flatly. “How many of them will there be?”

“Enough.”

-------------------

If you’ve liked what you’ve read, please consider joining me on my Patreon page where you can get early access to each chapter. https://www.patreon.com/roman_williams

-------------------

Next: Part 6

Other parts:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11 

Part 12 (On Patreon) 

[littledemondarling-a]

☁️Mun questions!☁️

Anonymous said:  3, 4, 5, 9, 10

3. Random fact about yourself?

//I currently go to an all-women’s college.

4. Random fact about your muse?

//If Niffty was able to have more control over her life, it’s likely she would’ve become an author. A romance author.

5. What’s your favorite song?

//My favorite song is Rocket Girl by Lemaitre!

9. Believe in ghosts?

//Yeah I do! There’s definitely some creepy stuff that I’ve experience throughout my life.

10. Believe in aliens?

//Hell yeah! I think it’s really arrogant of us to think we’re the only lifeforms out there.

[a-simple-imagine]

Car Troubles

Requested by anonymous: “any chance you’d write an agent m x female reader? maybe where reader is another agent on the mission with m&h and she hears when agent m says she’s never been in love with anyone and she’s like i will change that “

Pairing: Agent M x fem!reader

Words: 1.5k+

A/N - This is slightly different than the request; simpler. 

Trigger Warning - swearing??

Being recruited for MIB hadn't been your first choice but it was definitely a job you had come to love. Getting to interact with all kinds of people, other species of lifeforms, saving the world, it was all amazing. It was interesting more so than any other job you tried doing. You would often grow bored doing the same thing every day so desk jobs just weren't suited to you. But being an agent brought new possibilities each day. From Hitech gadgets to travelling the world, it was hard to grow bored when you're constantly doing so much. Over years of hard work, you had climbed the ladder of the London branch to become one of the best agents they ever had. Agent H was always the favourite but now that he was in charge, it was your time to shine. Although after everything you were pretty sure M would always be H's favourite even if she was miles away. She was certainly your favourite. You may or may not have a tiny little crush on her. Nothing like an epic adventure where you almost died to bring up feelings. It took a lot of pestering to convince H to get M relocated to the London branch. He had such a soft spot for you and your puppy dog eyes. Now you and M spent practically every day together thanks to H constantly pairing the two of you together. You were almost certain he knew you liked her and he was just trying to help. But every time you're around her and she does something idiotic but admittedly adorable you can't help but think back to the night spent in the desert.  Her views on love were harsh. She'd never even given it a chance and it seemed like she didn't want to. You didn't realise your feelings until she was being hauled off back to America and by then it felt silly bringing them up.

Things have been... weird lately. Something was up with agent M and you couldn't figure out what because she had been avoiding you. Sat in Agent H's office you watch the other woman as the boss drones on about today's assignment. At least that's what you assumed this meeting was about.

"Could you at least pretend to pay attention to me?" Fingers click before your eyes bring you back to reality. You flash a smile at H who wears a pleasant smirk.

"I am listening."

"Then what did I just say?" He asks.

"Something about aliens." You reply slowly knowing that nine times out of ten guessing aliens was correct.

"I want you two to go check out the crash. Shouldn't be anything too difficult."

You raise your hand into the air causing H to frown. "Why are you putting your hand up?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are you doing? Why is your hand up?"

"Uh... I have a question." You respond, confusion evident in your tone.

"Then just speak up, this isn't primary school." He insists with a distasteful shake of his head.

"Seems she's finally learned some manners" M mutters and you shoot her a look.

"Can I have a different partner."

"What's wrong with M?" H wonders.

"She's a dick, sir." You respond, a hint of playfulness to your tone.

"You two play nice." He points you out of his office. You exit followed by Molly, who so casually brushes past you. Bumping her shoulder into yours as she went.

"I'm not an asshole."

"That's what they all say." You tease. "Can we grab food first I'm-"

"No," she insists. "Let's go."

"See, you're being a dick." You mumble quietly following behind her.

The atmosphere in the care is thick with awkwardness and unsaid words. You can't quite figure out what's changed about her. You play with the radio looking for any song you knew and when it ended you'd change the channel to repeat the process.

"Can you please stop." Agent M asked but it came out more like a demand. You ignore her and continue to flick through the stations. "If you don't stop, I will kick you out of this car."

"Okay, okay. Calm down." You pull your hand back, staring out the window. You can't bare going back to it being silent in hear. "Do you hate me?"

"Hate you?" She very briefly glances at you and then back at the road. "What makes you think I hate you?"

"I don't know. You've been acting really weird and avoiding me-"

"I'm not avoiding you."

You're not convinced. "The other day, I walked into the break room while you were making coffee and you ran straight out without your coffee."

"So? There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that."

"Like what?" You ask brow cocked curiously.

"Agent H needed me."

You watch her, the car coming to a stop at a red light.

"You're a bad liar." You answer, raising your shoulders in a casual shrug. "What did I do to upset you?"

"Nothing-"

"But you admit you're upset?" You counter.

"No. I'm not upset with you."

"Yes, you are,"

Her head shakes. "I just- it's awkward."

"Why is it awkward?"

"Agent H kinda told me you liked me."

"He what!?" You growl. "That traitor."

"So it's true?"

"That he's a traitor? Yeah, I tell him things in confidence and he just blurts it out like it's everyone's business."

"I meant about you liking me." She turns back to the road as the light turns green.

"Oh." You shrug. heat flushes your cheeks as you sink down in the seat. To say you're embarrassed would be an understatement. Finding out that's why she'd been avoiding kind of hurt though. "I guess. But you don't believe in that shit so does it matter?"

"I've never had anyone like me before."

"Honestly for the longest time I thought H had a crush on you but he's just like that. He'd flirt with anything."

"Great?" She seemed confused.

"Even In relationships he still comes across as flirty. And most girls like him because he's handsome which makes sense, even guys too. I admit he's charming but perhaps too much, I'm not sure I could date him. I'll admit he's attractive though-"

"Do you ever stop rambling? Like do you come with an on/off switch or something."

"Sure. Push the right button and you can turn me on," you joke, giggling to yourself. "You get it?"

"I'm so close to kicking you out of this car- so close."

"I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say and I tend to make jokes when things get weird." You admit, watching the world outside pass by. "I like you but I don't see how that's awkward? It's not like I'm looking for anything from you. Just because I have feelings doesn't mean you have to."

"It's weird having someone want to be with me in... that way."

"That way? Can you at least try to sound less repulsed?" You tease. "Why wouldn't someone. Not only are you a beautiful badass who works for one of the most secret agencies in the world. You're also smart and driven; Funny and a huge dork."

"I feel like that last part wasn't a compliment."

"Being a dork is not a bad thing, M." You assure her.

"Well then, you're a dork too."

You glance back to her. "What? No, I'm not, I'm way too cool."

"So it's an insult." She corrects and you can't fight the small smile that makes its way onto your lips. "Do you insult all the girls you like or am I special?"

"You're the only girl I like so that makes you special. Unless you count Margot Robbie but she's famous and married so I have no shot there."

"No shot here either." Ouch. Never have you wanted to sink into a deep dark hole more than you do right now.

"I know that's why I never brought it up. You're a pussy who doesn't believe in love."

"It's not that I don't believe it's just... pointless. A waste of time." She muses, turning the steering wheel between her palms as you turn down the corner. How far away was this crash because you've been in this car for what feels like a lifetime.

"Glad to know I'm a waste of time."

"I never said that."

"You implied it though," you argue. "But that's okay."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"No." She corrects.

"Yes." You nod.

"No."

"Prove it, how about... we grab a drink after this?"

"Seriously?"

"See so you do think imma-"

"Fine let's get a drink." She huffs. "If you really liked me you wouldn't guilt me into a date."

"It's not a date unless we make it a date and you clearly think it's a date so it must be... it's a date." The car roars to a stop, the fabric of the seatbelt digging into your neck as you lunge forward. "now we have a job to do, Agent M so stop flirting with me."

"That's not what's happening." She argues, undoing her belt and slipping out the car. "Like at all, really."

You follow her lead, slamming the car door behind you. "Whatever you say, M. Whatever you say."

[she-and-the-serpent]

Decay in the Dump Heap: Life and Beauty

“When living things die - a fallen bird, a broken branch, or a crushed earthworm - bacteria of decay make these things rot.”

-Air, the Invisible Ocean, by Sigmund Kalina

A French social anthropologist once said that the artist “shapes the beautiful and useful out of the dump heap of human life.” He called this act bricolage. The term is used in psychology, literature, architecture, and other fields, and now commonly refers to something constructed from a variety of available parts.

You are bricolage incarnate. Your genes come from whoever donated them to you and all the gene-donors that came before them. You are nothing new, a plagiarized organism. And according to some - who certainly spend way too much time on the internet - you are a space orc. That’s because your genes aren’t the only thing you borrowed from somewhere else (I might have said stole, but the Universe always gets its own back). You might have seen one of those feel-good posts reminding you that you are stardust and, as you might know, Genesis 2:7 claims that God filled man with the breath of life. They sound the same to me, although that might not be the case for you. Either way, your clock’s ticking and pretty soon all of those pretty little mitochondria are gonna get tired of working for no pay (caffeine doesn’t count) or one of these metal hunks of junk we fly or drive or carry around is gonna come around and— that will be that. All your cells will be repoed by the Universal Bank of Mortality so that the energy you’ve borrowed can rejoin the flow of the cosmos. Make sure you clear up any Karmic baggage before you go, otherwise some believe you’ll reincarnate to serve another sentence in the dump heap. It’ll be good to have you back. I’m not sure what state the planet will be in, but that’s a Future Us problem, right?

We could always go to the stars. You know, once our current ecosystem is too destabilized to tolerate our bullshit anymore. The prospects of lunar colonization — or any kind of extraplanetary colonization — may seem dubious, but at least some beneficent little green men (or are they Grays?) could come down with the exact terraforming technology necessary to save us all from the brink of disaster. But probably not.

In 1991, Terry Bisson published “They’re Made Out of Meat,” a short story involving a conversation between two anonymous persons who cannot grasp the concept of meat-based intelligent lifeforms. For understandable reasons, the extraterrestrial protagonists choose not to make contact with the squealing meat monsters. In humanity’s defense, contemporary science supports that we’re at least 60% water and our nervous systems operate via electricity. Maybe the aliens didn’t give us enough credit. By the way, did you know that human teeth evolved from fish scales? You’re a grotesque thing, aren’t you?

Merriam-Webster defines grotesque as “fanciful or fantastic human and animal forms often interwoven with foliage or similar figures that may distort the natural into absurdity, ugliness, or caricature.” You may not consider yourself a freakish animal hybrid, but evolution argues otherwise. You are a grotesque bricolage and so is life. Not convinced? Look outside of yourself for a moment.

There is a dirt-stained meth-head hauling a bicycle toward a bridge where his friends wait, anxious for the food he brings. There is a house on a street called Dove Crossing where a child was molested and a senile dog never came back home. There is a custodian whose wife was sweeping the porch when his mistress came calling, unaware that the man was married. There is a school where every year the students wear green bracelets to commemorate the death of someone old enough to drive unattended and young enough to do so without a seatbelt. There is a boy who taught skydiving lessons and pissed off a rooftop because why not? There is a gerbil that died with a pencil through its skull because a pudgy, brown-haired middle schooler didn’t have the same respect for class pets as his peers. There is a girl who claimed to be an angel and the bride of Abaddon, heir to the throne of Hell. There is a gorilla who wept when her kitten died, and she’s dead too. There is a massive, oxygen-producing forest and it is burning. There is a planet called Earth where humans go about every day as if there aren’t hundreds of tons of space dust crashing into the atmosphere above their heads.

Does it mean anything? We’ve been trying to figure that one out for a while. No one can really tell you if your disgusting, uncomfortable, distressing human life is worth anything. Either you believe it is, or you don’t. I know that dead things nourish living ones, and maybe that gives life meaning. I know that life is either a crawl or a sprint or a marathon toward death and maybe nothing would matter at all if that wasn’t true. I know that the only thing constant is change and maybe the bittersweet brevity of each inconceivable moment is the reason they’re precious. People might kick you in the balls or grab you by the pussy and hope that you roll over and die. It’s a pain-full world we live in, after all. But maybe you have a little bit more agency than you think, or a lot more. And maybe deciding that your life is beautiful and useful because you say so is the most powerful choice you can ever make. Maybe deciding that all life - the birds, branches, and earthworms - is beautiful and useful is the most powerful choice we can make. So what if you’re made of borrowed parts? So is everything else. The whole damn Universe could shrink into another incredibly dense speck of matter and start the cycle all over again. How’s that for reincarnation? Everything that exists could be destroyed and recycled, made new.

Life is a dump heap filled with decay. But there is someone receiving these words, and you are beautiful and useful and have the power to shape beauty and usefulness from the rotten things in your life. We all come from the dump heap, we all are living bricolage.

“Is the world a work of art?”

-A Beautiful Question, by Frank Wilczek

[fuzzread]

Something Strange is Happening

Story by Devin Morrow

Anonymous reports have been coming in nonstop since this morning, stating that an unidentified aircraft has crashed somewhere in the desert outside of Oasis Springs. Further investigation has revealed that this mysterious aircraft just so happened to crash within the boundaries of the government-restricted area known as Area 52.

It has been suspected for some time that Area 52 is used for classified military operations, the nature of which is still unknown to this day. Rumors have surfaced that the government has made contact with extraterrestrial lifeforms. These rumors have repeatedly been denied by government and military spokespersons, however, this has done little to quash speculation, and may have possibly only fueled more curiosity.

Several of the reports received today included strange images of a woman who looks suspiciously like Kate Smith, the investigative journalist who went missing over a year ago during an undercover investigation into Area 52′s operations. Please be warned; these images may be disturbing to some readers.

The look on Kate’s face is beyond strange; it is unnatural. There is still no explanation as to what could cause someone’s face to distort to this extent. Speculations so far mostly involve medical experiments using alien DNA, but this is still a far-fetched idea in today’s world. Without Kate’s investigation, we have no way of knowing what has happened to her since her disappearance.

It is still unknown as to whether or not these photos are authentic. All EXIF data was scrubbed from the images before being sent to us.

All attempts to contact Kate Smith have been met with silence since her disappearance, including several attempts made this afternoon after we received these images. There has been reluctance from family and friends alike to assume Kate had died, and these images spark hope that she is still alive in Area 52.

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Episode 5: The Incredibly Brief Life of Mif Mifterson

As we’re waiting to start and admiring the ship model of Blindsider that the DM has created since session 4.2, we move our character icons around. Grif’s appears at the ship’s gunning position. 

H: So, how edgy is Grif today? :) 

M, laughing: GUN 

M also said at one point “ah, Grif, that poor little stringbean.” To which H replies “Stringbean? Why stringbean? I mean, all humans are stringbeans to Rralwarr...” 

As we start the session, M brings up something we’d been discussing in the group chat in between sessions. I had looked again at the anonymous threatening transmission again, in the process of typing of Episode 4. “You have taken our property” is one of the first things mentioned. What property? After us all throwing some (wildly inaccurate) theories around in the group chat I had a realization and approached the DM about it. He confirmed my suspicions. He’d also mentioned it to the other players, so they knew, but their characters didn’t in-game, and I hadn’t quite explained it yet either. So M asked me about it. 

I said Taveau was staring at the transmission again and invited him to start the conversation. Taveau is... even less forthcoming than usual, and asks Grif what he thinks, first. 

Grif: Well I mean that’s a good question. Is it the ship? 

Rralwarr: Maybe they’re being absolutely massive jerks and it’s actually the tracking device. 

Taveau: No... I don’t think so. 

Grif: Well, why not? Do you think you know what it is, then? 

Taveau: ... I hope I’m wrong, but. I’ve got an idea. It might be me. 

Grif: You? Why would it be you? 

Taveau: I used to be a member of Death Watch. I hoped they’d thought I was dead, but if not... they probably have... a special death planned for me. 

Rralwarr is growling menacingly. Taveau fidgets. 

Taveau: I--alright. Rralwarr? Did you choose to become a bodyguard, or is that just what you were raised to do? 

Rralwarr hesitates for a moment before replying (and Grif translates): 

Rralwarr: I... I did, yes. There was a conscious choice. 

Taveau: That must be nice. I probably had a choice somewhere in there, but I didn’t realize it until it was too late. 

Rralwarr: ? 

Taveau: My parents raised me with the expectation that I’d join Death Watch as soon as I was old enough. By the time I was 15 I was having second thoughts, but I didn’t see an easy way to get out of it. 

H: Rralwarr stops growling and moves away from you. He stands with his back to you. He’s obviously not happy, but he’s not threatening you. 

It could be worse. It takes a certain amount of trust to turn your back on someone, at least, even if it’s to visibly sulk at them. 

Grif: Why are we talking about the past? We need to find a place to land. 

Taveau, with relief: You, I like you. Tell me where to land, I don’t know this planet. 

Grif: Well, let’s think about this. If we land too close to home it’ll be too obvious. I think if we head for the capital we have a better chance of blending in with all the traffic. And we should land at a middle-class spaceport, it’ll be busy, and not the kind of place we’d usually go. 

Rralwarr: Yeah, that’s going to be difficult. We still look like us. 

Grif: But there’s not much we can do about that right now, we’ll just have to hope no one recognizes us. 

Taveau: ...So are you guys, like, royalty? 

Grif: Not exactly, no. I mean, we’re well-known in our city, but we’re not exactly big intergalactic stuff. If you live on the other side of Alderaan you might know our name. 

Me: M, you said “not exactly” and Taveau heard “so basically kind of yes”. 

We discuss trying to disguise Rralwarr and give it up as an impossible task, for the moment at least. Taveau takes off his armor and poncho, folds the armor up inside his poncho and carries it under his arm like a bag. 

Decisions made, we head down towards the planet and are contacted from the ground by space-air traffic control. 

Ground: Transport Blindsider, identify yourself. Please note that security measures have been heightened in wake of the recent assassination. 

Grif, in an excellent imitation of a complete idiot: Assassination?! Wot!! 

Ground: Yes, a member of Alderaan’s most prominent families has been killed under mysterious circumstances. (Taveau quietly reinforces his belief that the Welkonnas are some kind of royalty. He’s not 100% clear on how this works on other planets but everyone knows them so obviously...) ...Transport Blindsider, do you copy? 

Grif: YES. AH. SORRY, TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES--*turns to Rralwarr* what do I do? 

Rralwarr: *I don’t know noise* Wrahh? 

Grif:--whoops there we go just had to fix something ANYWAY, YES HELLO, MY NAME IS MIF MIFTERSON. (ridiculously high deception roll) 

M, OOC: Haha Mif, bc I’m very miffed

Ground: Understood, Mr. Mifterson. I’m seeing you have two other lifeforms on your ship? 

Grif/Mif: YES, um, I have my friend... Chewbacca, 

Rralwarr: What

Grif: And, uhhh Tyrone Fireside. 

Taveau: *slightly disappointed look* ok whatever

DM: I mean, with that roll, you could’ve said anything and they would’ve believed you. 

Ground: Alright. Transport Blindsider, you’ve been cleared for landing in docking bay 94. 

(We take a moment to appreciate the reference, which one party member recognized; I needed to be told that that was the same number as the docking bay in which the original Star Wars party found the Millennium Falcon way back in A New Hope.) 

Ground: Enjoy your stay in Alderaan! 

Grif the Mif: Thanks! 

We land safely and get out of the ship. We are immediately greeted with Alderaanian customs officers. Grif, trying to feel out how much he needs to lie to these people, asks “So, hey, do any of you know the guy from space traffic control?” 

The DM asks him to make a deception roll for these new people and he crit fails it. 

Customs officer: Sir we have reason to believe you lied about your identity on the way in. Put your hands up and step away from the ship.

Grif: Oh... uh... Okay. 

Taveau drops his poncho bundle, which makes a VERY SUSPICIOUSLY LOUD metallic clonk. Naturally that’s the first thing they investigate. 

Customs officer: Battle armor, huh? 

Taveau: *stands very, very still* 

Rralwarr, meanwhile, tries to hand his ID card one of the officers and is requested to STOP MOVING, drop the card and lower his arms in front of him. He’s put in binder cuffs. 

M, responding to “nobody move” : the only thing moving is me/Grif, and that’s just my mouth. 

Me: THAT’S BAD ENOUGH. 

Grif: OK guys, listen up. I’ll admit it, I lied, and I’ll tell you why, I’m Grif Welkonna, I’m worried about what happened and I didn’t want to talk about my name over unsecure channels. You can find my ID in the bag there, this is my bodyguard Rralwarr, and this is our pilot Taveau.

Taveau: *small voice* hi

Customs officer: Check their IDs. ...OK. That was an idiotic way of trying to protect yourself, Mr. Welkonna, but I imagine you’re a bit shook up, so we’ll forgive it this time. We’ll take you to see the chief of police, he’s conducting an investigation into the murder. 

Taveau: ...Can I lower my hands now? 

Customs: yes. 

Taveau: Thank you. *does so very slowly* 

Rralwarr: Hey guys? I’m still handcuffed over here. 

That is remedied. 

DM: The customs people hand you over to a regular police escort who then take you in a police speeder. It’s fairly roomy. It’ll be about a 20-minute trip. 

Rralwarr: *whisper-messages something to Grif that I can’t see* 

Grif: *shakes his head* 

Me: *concern* 

H: Rralwarr’s a little confused about what’s exactly going on. He’s usually a little confused. 

Grif asks the officers with us if any of them were involved with the investigation. The answer is no, that’s being handled by forensics. There’s a moment of silence. 

Taveau: ...Hey, Rralwarr. 

H: He doesn’t really respond, but he’s listening. 

Taveau: I... understand if you don’t want to trust me, but just for the record, I hate these guys at least as much as you do. They left me to die in an arena on Geonosis. 

H: Rralwarr doesn’t say anything, not even a grunt. But he’s thinking of the enslaved Wookiees, and he sees it as a point of connection. 

We arrive, the officers escort us into a turbolift (yes, the DM tells H, Rralwarr does fit), and to the police chief’s office. 

DM: He’s sitting behind a large, ornate hardwood desk. Because of course, what else do police chiefs sit behind. The escorts leave, the chief gets up and comes around his desk to shake Grif’s hand. 

PC: Mr. Welkonna, my sincere condolences. I want you to know we have our best men working on it.

Grif: Thank you police chief, it’s very nice to hear you see that.

PC: It’s only my duty. Currently your family is in a safehouse on the other side of the planet. Would you like a police escort? I understand your father is anxiously awaiting your return.

M, OOC: Grif is going to ask what the name of the house is, like, the name the family used when talking about it, to see if this guy’s legit. 

DM: And what is the name? 

M: 

M:.... Fluffyplace.

The Party: what

DM: Acceptable

The Party: WHAT

PC, responding to Grif: it’s.. oh what was it... something to do with... pillows? No. Cloud... oh, fluffy. 

H: Rralwarr is disappoint. 

Taveau: ??? 

Grif: Ah yes fluffyplace, that’s it :) 

M: Grif’s face is utterly straight as he says fluffyplace.

H: Rralwarr does not know how you do this, he questions whether you are or ever were mentally stable. 

Taveau already feels out of his depth enough that he just accepts it as another weird alien thing, but he is wondering who picks the names in this family. 

PC: Alright. I guess you’ll be wanting to leave immediately? I’ll send you down with a couple officers, they’ll take you in an unmarked, armor speeder. So far we’ve had very few leads. Would you like us to send you whatever files we have?

Grif: Yeah that’d be good, Rralwarr might be able to assist. He knows the place where it happened very well. 

We go get in another speeder and prepared for another, much longer ride. The DM suggests we stop here, because he’s been sick and hasn’t been able to prepare as far ahead as he’d planned to, so he doesn’t feel ready to proceed any farther with the story. But before we break up officially, we have some more speeder talks. 

H: After the Geonosis talk, Rralwarr expresses interest in talking to Taveau. Can he assist you in learning Shyriiwook? 

Me: Oh please do. 

(roll of 19) Taveau now understands some basic words and phrases in Shyriiwook. And he is no longer misinterpreting everything he hears. 

H: Rralwarr has significantly calmed down. He’s been considering Taveau’s past actions and also your comment about Geonosis, and he thinks: you have not posed a threat to him or to Grif, so he has no reason to distrust you. That’s what he keeps telling himself, anyway. 

[masterpost]

[canmom]

so here’s a fan theory

This is based on side material from Drag-on Dragoon 3/Drakengard 3 and from the timeline in the NieR: Automata strategy guide. Apparently it’s been discussed pretty extensively on the Nier discord, but I’ve not seen it elsewhere so...

In the timeline (translated by an anonymous user), there’s this:

5024 The "Aliens" begin manufacturing of 'Machine Lifeforms"

The "Aliens" conquer North and South America from the "Country of Night". At the same time they began manufacture of a new weapon, the "Machine Lifeform".

and a few entries later, there’s this:

6230: The "Army of Humanity" begins fielding a new weapon, "Dragon" 

In the "Country of Night" a new combat oriented weapon, "Dragon" is manufactured and fielded. 

Rekka Alexiel provided a slightly different translation on discord/her timeline:

5024 - "Aliens" completely oppress the areas of North and South America known as the "Kingdom of Night".

6230 - The production and deployment of new "Dragon" weapons began to support the war effort in the "Kingdom of Night".

The first time I looked through the timeline, I assumed it was just a slightly silly name and didn’t think much of it - but it’s got to be at least somewhat significant to merit inclusion.

The second piece is the question of the ‘Old World’ before the Cataclysm in the world of Drag-on Dragoon/Drakengard. The DoD timeline diverges from the real world in the year 853, when a city suddenly appears on the Iberian peninsula and magic is introduced into the world. The city, or perhaps the world where this city comes from, is referred to as the ‘Old World’ in DoD3. (The events of DoD3 take place 150 or so years later around the year 1000, and the events of DoD1 take place 100 years after that around the year 1100.)

We know almost nothing about the Old World, save that its style of architecture is very similar to modern-day cities, and - if Accord is anything to go by - so is its mode of dress; it also appears to have polaroids and mobile phones.

Originally, my assumption was that the Old World was some other variant of Earth, and that there was a chain of worlds getting ‘infected’ with magic through incidents similar to the one that bridges the gap between the DoD world and the the NieR one.

There is one story that loosely addresses the Old World, but in little detail. Every major character in DoD3 has a novella associated with them; most concern the events just prior to the game, but Michael’s novella (trans. kho-dazat) looks a lot further back: Michael, along with two other dragons (likely to be Angelus and the Black Dragon from DoD1) is fighting an endless war in a world without humans, opposed by enemies he describes as ‘puppets’.

"Tell me, Red. When do you suppose this battle of ours will ever end?"

As I spoke, I realized I had actually been wanting to ask this exact question for a very long time. I’ve killed more than I could ever hope to count, piling up enough corpses to fill whole mountains. And yet it went on. The fighting never stopped or even slowed down. The enemy just kept coming and coming.

What were we fighting, anyway? Of course I knew who we were fighting; I didn’t mean it in the sense I was unaware of the identity of our foes. What I meant was… ah, it’s hard for me to put into words. How frustrating.

"Michael. None of us, not even the eldest, can remember when this battle began. So we have no means of knowing when it may end…"

Red began to say, but her words got cut off, and my entire field of vision when white.

This just screams NieR Automata thematically.

Later in Michael’s novella, he describes the experience of passing through the Cataclysm...

Humans were creatures that began to appear sometime after those battles had ended. Yes, that’s right. The battles I had thought might continue eternally came all at once to an abrupt close. Perhaps that is not even the right way to phrase it; the conflict which had defined our existences as dragons up until that point had not merely ended, but been completely destroyed. What I had been dreaming of was the exact moment it had ceased to exist.

What made my vision go white was an explosion. What kind of magic it was, where it came from and why, I have little idea. Perhaps it was some power gone haywire; suffice it to say, the devastation it wrought was tremendous. It caused all trace of our countless enemies to vanish, and the very face of the earth to change.

So...

the hypothesis

is pretty straightforward.

the ‘Old World’ of Drag-on Dragoon is the NieR world - which yes, does imply a cyclic timeline

the Cathedral City was originally somewhere in the Kingdom of Night

the ‘dragon’ weapons are, or evolved into, the dragons in Drag-on Dragoon. we do have precedent for the creation sapient, magical weapons in Emil and Halua, as well as of course the androids themselves.

Accord is, in fact, an android just like the ones in NieR and NieR Automata, not a separate creation - perhaps a more advanced model.

there are some problems with this hypothesis, and some unanswered questions:

the dragons seem to have a more significant role in opposing the gods’ plan than mere weapons created by androids to fight a war - for example, they are the only things capable of containing the Flower and the Mother Angel/Queen Beast, and in DoD1 ending C, they must go on a worldwide rampage for... some reason.

pacts from DoD play a role in the NieR world (since White Chlorination Syndrome is caused by a pact with the gods). however, we see the moment when pacts were created in DoD3. how would this work with the time loop?

Accord explains explicitly in DoD3 that the timeline is branching, driven by the actions of ‘singularities’ such as Zero. how does this fit into the time loop?

did the disappearance of what would become the Cathedral City happen before or after the events of NieR Automata? what caused it?

where do the gods/Watchers fit into all this? what created the Flower (including the Black Flower in Utahime Five, which seems related)?

so it’s got some problems, but I still think it’s a fun as hell idea to imagine. I expect however it isn’t true, and Yoko Taro has something mindblowingly unexpected in mind instead.

[bitwarm9-blog]

The match which informs a tense, absorbing mystery by means of exquisitely minimalist means.

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Similarly, there's an elegance for the total design as it conveys a terrific deal of information in hardly any words. The perspective of one's journeys is restricted to a bathymetric chart wherever hydrographic characteristics are drawn in clean lines and specific points of attention have been definitely noticeable should you activate the scanner. Vas is an assiduous note-taker, along with her short published descriptions of each location attract these points to life within unusually vivid fashion. The Exotic vision unites effortlessly with the subtle palette changes of the map--the hot greens of this shallows segue in to the blues and yellows of those darker waters before committing solution to the blacks and reds of these mysterious depths. Insert from the vague, ambient glow of the ocean and the gentle thrum of the diving fit's propulsion engine because you push off to your different vacation spot, and hentai games delivers a richly immersive heavenly experience that belies its spartan aesthetic. It's quite an achievement. The minimalist construction extends to a interactions with all the whole world. Scanning reveals the nodes that are closest you can go to through the interrelated movement program. Additionally, it accomplishes any life forms that you can click onto possess Vas review. Each special encounter using a specific lifeform contributes to her observations before she's in a position to properly identify and catalogue it. There are also unique samples to get, frequently hidden in out-of-the-way corners of this map, which bring about the profound taxonomy with this alien eco system and also benefit time that it requires to monitor all of them downagain. All of this is completed via a interface that simply needs to be performed together with. Intriguingly unlabelled buttons, dials, switches, scopes, along with sliders do not therefore substantially load out the display as energies it, teasing enigmatic works with flawless hip shape. Inconspicuous tutorial tips light up the dash when it is right to utilise each part, however there is plenty still left that you decode. Just as Vas confronts the anonymous within her travel and it has to retire and experiment, testing out her hypotheses, you're handed a highly tactile, emblematic user interface and left to probe it and soon you eventually intuit how all of it works. In many cases, the puzzles coincide; Vas' seek out understanding of their life forms she's encountering mirrors your rumination on the most useful means to proceed. Truly, all around the themes and mechanics of both exploration and scientific procedure align and intertwine. Although principally a narrative-driven hentai games match, there is a light under current of resource direction flowing throughout each outing out of the bottom. Sampling and researching marine-life allows you to extract the oxygen and power you'll need to maintain Vas' diving suit on longer treks. Particular environmental threats deplete these tools at a increased rate, though, as you'll require a source of certain samples to progress through differently inaccessible regions, both scenarios serving to quietly nudge you to at least consider the limited stock space while you prepare for each excursion. Despite the fact that collapse here isn't penalizing --Vas will be hauled via drone back to base if you let her come to an end of oxygen--having to track your utilization of tools builds tension and benefits the feeling of trepidation because you decide on a course in to uncharted waters. hentai games grows its fundamental mysteries in professional style, drip-feeding its own revelations in a way that feels organic, and dispatching you to scrutinize the corners of its map in a way it does not really feel contrived. As you steadily learn more of exactly what Vas' companion was as much as about this odd world, and also you yourself begin to grasp humankind's situation, the mystery builds to a positive conclusion--one that satisfies yet remains conscious that some queries are somewhat more enticing when left . Inside this way, its story echoes the restraint that runs through the entire hentai games game to supply a stylish, ensured, and utterly consuming experience that demonstrates again and again again it knows the way to do a lot with seemingly very little.