#— about me

[divinebunnii]

long / personal story ~ tw: ed recovery

these two photos are almost exactly 3 years apart. I struggled for my entire life with an eating disorder caused by my own chronic pain and physical ailments. it got very hard for several years trying to even maintain the small amount of weight I did have, but my ribcage hurt because my skin was pressed so tight to the bones, my arthritis in my knees and hips was unrelenting in pain, sleeping was impossible because my sides would just go numb.

then I found out I have endometriosis, a painful disease that overwhelms the ovarian tubes and uterus and I decided to put myself on birthcontrol to get that pain under control.

then slowly, i started having more of an appetite. they mentioned I might gain weight, and I cried at the fact that there was hope for me to have meat and squish and phat. I kept the light off in my bathroom so I didn’t have to look at my progress, all I did was open a tumblr blog and started taking photographs to chart and track as well as find a community of sex positive and lovely souls.

3 years, many different deactivated tumblrs, and that one picture of the left that is the only reminder from then just how small and malnourished I was. this one picture that shows just how tight and painful being that thin is, one picture that I now have to look back on and smile at the body I tried to take care of, and finally returned the favor when I could take care of just one pain.

on the right was today, my thighs don’t have a space between them anymore when I stand, my hips and knees have more cushion so my arthritis doesn’t act up as much, my curves are here and real and squeezable, my ass oh boi my ass is the phattest it’s ever been and I jiggle when I walk now.

Struggle lasts a long time sometimes, but when we finally are able to get just one thing under control, a lot of other things fall into place. I may not be able to eat everything I wish I could, but that’s just part of being an adult and taking care of my temple. This body loves me, and I love it, and will continue to nurture and grow with it ~

thank you to all of those that have known me these many years, to those that have uplifted and supported my growth, and a huge smooch to those that are still on their journey, are just starting, or haven’t begun yet. we got this ✨

~ okay to rb ~

[ex-textura]

Since I came out to my partner as trans after our daughter was born, there was an awkward period of time when mother's day came around where he didn't know what to do about the holiday. I had told him we could forget it, I'll wait and we can celebrate father's day together instead. That didn't sit well with him though because my birthday often falls on father's day and he said he felt like I was losing a day.

So he's rebranded mother's day for me, and now in this house we celebrate Parent's Day instead.

I just woke up to a freshly painted canvas next to my plate of pancakes and strawberries that reads "Happy Parent's Day. I love you. XOXO" written in my daughter's beginners handwriting (translated by my partner thank you babe I love you)

Anyway all that to say, my partner is pretty cool and I like him a lot. 10/10 would marry again.

[the--unalloyed]

hyped about how my chest looks in this dress tbh

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Rules! List 5 topics you can talk about for at least an hour without any preparation. Tag others to find out their topics.

Thank you @rhoorl & @survivingandenduring for the tag! I think a couple other people tagged me too, but it has been lost in my notifications. Whoever it was, I love you too. 😘

Pedro Boys (obviously)

Egyptology

Pet Nutrition

Crafting

Any genre of TV Shows/Movies (I'm such a cinephile)

NPT: @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @auteurdelabre @nerdieforpedro @readingiskeepingmegoing

Feel free to tell me to fuck off if you've already done this y'all cause I can't keep up and I'm so behind on all things Tumblr. 😂

[two-tyred-problems]

via Williams instagram

That’s actually the exact joke I based my blog name on lmao

[futurelabs]

☀️✨🙂‍↕️

[three--rings]

I'm having an absolutely terrible time in my injury recovery RN.

This week my physical therapist looked at me and said, basically, "look, you're not getting better, you're still having this mysterious pain constantly, you need to go back to your doctor and figure out what is wrong in your foot."

So I called my doctor and all I could get was an appointment 2.5 weeks away.

And since then, my foot has gotten worse. Something has gone wrong in it and I'm having terrible pain when I put weight on it, worse than I've had in months. Something is out of place, caught, or whatever and I'm losing my mind.

Like, at this point, the GOOD news would be "we found what's wrong and you need reconstructive surgery to fix it...so you get to start recovery over after 9 months." The bad news would be..."yeah it's just gonna be like this now, maybe it'll get better in a year or so."

Because estimated recovery time for a badly broken calcaneus (which is what I had) is 1-2 YEARS. And you will almost certainly never walk the same again and continue to have pain and problems.

Which I've known but like....okay you'll have arthritis is one thing, but what I'm having now is something ELSE.

All of this because some FUCKER was fucking texting or something. And it also kills me that like, I can't get any recompense or anything from the accident because even if I took him to court, even if he was rich (which I'm fairly sure he's not) and I won, I'd have to turn everything I got over to my health insurance company to cover all this treatment I'm getting. So I'd still just be right back at disabled for life (some more) without even a consolation prize.

IDK I'm just really upset today. There's nothing worse than feeling like things are getting back into place, back to normal and then being knocked the fuck back to helpless.

[babiedeer]

Fight me but one of my faves is the second Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls

[faithinlouisfuture]

all of louiekind for the foreseeable future

[cecil-apologist]

diversity loss this trans man is just as much of an emotionally unavailable avoidantly attached brick as any cis guy

[ashleyrguillory]

And I didn’t talk to him ever again

[koshercosplay]

so I work in education at a science museum

we recently had a snails class for 2-3 year olds

we had a staff meeting beforehand to go over the lesson plan for said class

my manager: maybe we can bring up the historical usage of snails to interest the adults... there was a snail that was used for blue dye in like, ancient Roman times I think?

me, about to pull out the most obscure piece of jewish historical knowledge that suddenly became relevant

[veliseraptor]

have realized that while i am not a fan necessarily of "people meet and immediately fall in love" i am a fan of "people meet and are immediately obsessed with each other." the love can come later but the absolute fixation should be immediate

[papaya-inspiration]

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

job searching really do be like that