#‘i’m ellen; i don’t work anywhere because i left my first shift at my new job in tears today bc i almost fainted because my knee decided to

[fingertipsmp3]

Might just pass the fuck out actually

[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Part 12

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Doing Things Right

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Word Count: 7,392 (texts, thoughts and song lyrics in italics)

Part Summary: Dean and Y/N go on their first official date. The night has to come to a close early, but not before Y/N gives Dean something to hold him over until they can be together again. A busy week keeps them separated, but a little rendezvous at the school between breaks in parent/teacher conference helps deal with not being able to see each other.

Warnings: Brief mentions of insecurities. Other than that, Fluff... like so much fluff. Dean being sweet AF (yes, that’s a warning). And SO MUCH SMUT. Dry humping, Semi-public, Oral Sex (Male Receiving), Vaginal Fingering, Unprotected sex (wrap it up before you tap it, people), Biting, Dirty talk, Swearing. 

Music: Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin (not featured within the chapter, but listen to it during the Dean and Y/N school scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading and loving this series! It honestly means so much to me to see how much you guys have been enjoying it! Seriously, thank you so much! Only 3 chapters and an epilogue after this. I can't believe how time has suddenly flown by and we’re nearly there! I can’t wait for you guys to see what else is going to happen as we come closer to the end. Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics! Check her out for all your AU needs!!!

Before Y/N knew it, it was the next day and the day of her first date with Dean that night. Being the gentleman that he was, he left after they watched TV for a while the night before, to go sleep in his own bed. He had left regretfully, leaving her with a kiss she could still feel even as she went to bed. The sexual chemistry between them was tangible, and she wanted to almost skip the date and pull him into her bed to see what that chemistry could do. However, Dean seemed to really want to take her out and she would never refuse him.

Though it did beg the question… did they need to be going out on dates? In her heart she already knew how she felt for him. This wasn’t dating for her; this was much more. She had an inkling that he may have felt the same, considering he told her that she was it for him. Maybe some would say it was too soon to be feeling that this was what she wanted and nothing else, but she couldn’t help it. That’s how she felt. She knew he was the one since the moment they met, even if he was with someone else at the time. Everything had worked out the way it had for a reason. She was never one to believe in soulmates and people that were destined to be together, but she knew she was meant to be with Dean.

She was really looking forward to that night, but she was going to wait to bring these things up with Dean. She didn’t want to spoil his efforts to make this a special night for them. It was pretty simple, just dinner and a movie, and that’s all she needed.

Y/N was glad she had that Friday off before she went back to school on Monday and took it as an opportunity to see the girls. It was a rare occasion that Meg didn’t have a shift on a Friday, and so they took the opportunity to see each other and catch up.

They had come over and had sandwiches and soup for lunch, and they all caught up about everything they had missed in each other’s lives over the holidays. She told them about her family and how she had so much fun seeing them again, and about the present Dean had gotten her, showing them. Charlie had already seen it, obviously, but she was still happy for her friend, nonetheless.

“Please thank Dorothy as well, I know she must’ve had to pull a few strings for Dean” Y/N said, looking over at Charlie.

“It was no hassle, really. She just called in some favors that she was owed” Charlie shrugged.

There was a short pause in the conversation before Meg spoke up.

“So, Dean looked pretty happy by the time midnight rolled around for us” she started, putting her spoon down as she finished eating. “Did you have something to do with that?”

Y/N bit her lip, trying to keep the smile off her face, but failing. “Maybe.”

“I knew it. He looked way too happy when he came out of the room after talking to you” Meg grinned. “So… did you do something dirty?”

“Meg” Y/N laughed, slightly embarrassed. Charlie chuckled but made no move to stop Meg.

“Well?” Meg wondered, raising an eyebrow.

“We… may have” Y/N said, shrugging. Meg looked at her, knowingly. She knew she couldn’t keep a secret very well and they would get it out of her eventually. “Okay, fine. We had phone sex.”

Meg suddenly cheered as Charlie groaned, taking out a couple of bills from her pocket and handing them over.

“You guys bet on this?” Y/N asked, shocked.

“Meg made a bet that you and Dean had phone sex” Charlie frowned, as she watched Meg pocket the money.

“Wow” Y/N said, shaking her head. Though she wasn’t surprised by her friend doing that.

“So… how was it?” Meg asked, grinning.

“It was… intense. I’ve never done that with a guy before… but it was really hot” Y/N laughed, slightly as she described that night to her friends. “Now, I just want to be with him properly.”

“It’ll happen” Charlie said, smiling reassuringly.

“He asked me out” Y/N said, smiling. “He’s taking me to dinner and a movie tonight.”

Both Charlie and Meg looked at her, wide eyed. “Uh, excuse me… why didn’t you open with that?!” Meg asked, shaking her head.

“I meant to, sorry” Y/N chuckled softly.

“Oh my god, you’re going on your first date with Dean!” Charlie clapped her hands, giddily.

Y/N laughed at her, shaking her head. She sobered as she thought about what her friend just said. “It doesn’t feel like a first date though. I mean, we spend so much time together, we’ve been having dinner together almost every night since I ended things with Mark. It’s all felt like we’re dating… so is this really the first date?”

Charlie nodded, understanding what she meant. “Well, it’s more of an official date. You and Dean are pretty much together anyway, he clearly just wants to do it the right way.”

“I guess you’re right” Y/N nodded. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to jump his bones.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll make you look so irresistible tonight, he can’t possibly think of anything else” Meg smiled, wagging her eyebrows.

“You don’t think it’s too soon?” Y/N asked.

“Hey, Charlie said it, you guys are pretty much a couple anyway. It’s gonna happen sooner or later” Meg shrugged, as she got up and carried her plate over to the sink.

The girls helped Y/N pick out what to wear for her date with Dean. Something that was appropriate for the type of date it was and sexy at the same time. She settled on a black dress and her black over-knee heeled boots, and her long fawn coat. As it got closer to the time for their date, Y/N got ready. She did her make-up and hair, putting a slight wave through it and settling it over one shoulder. The girls left once they gave her a look of approval and wished her luck. Y/N promised to call them and tell them how it went.

“1… 2… 3”

Dean counted down as he lifted the frame from one side, Benny on the other. They slotted the hooks on the wall into the grooves on the frame. Dean stepped down from the ladder to see if it was properly aligned and even, smirking when it looked perfect. Benny stepped down from his ladder, standing next to Dean and admiring the framed black and white photo of the Impala, that Y/N had given him for Christmas.

They had been at the new building all day along with Ellen, all three of them fixing the place up before all the new equipment and machinery came in the following week. Ellen had fixed up the reception area and some parts of the garage with Benny, while Dean fixed up the office and some of the workstations. Some of the other workers would be in over the weekend to take care of other duties as well. It had been a tiring day, but he wasn’t about to let that stop him from thinking about Y/N and their date that night.

To others, it might’ve seemed a little redundant to take her out on a date when they were practically a couple already, but it wasn’t to him. He wanted to show her what she meant to him and treat her special. He wanted to do things right this time. He had taken Lisa out on dates but there wasn’t all that much effort put into them, most of the time ending up at the diner or the bar. Things were different with Y/N. She wasn’t just any girl, she was… well, he was in love with her. He needed her to know that, even if he couldn’t say it just yet.

A bump on his shoulder alerted him that Benny was still there, a slightly amused expression on his face to see his friend spaced out for whatever reason.

“You okay there, brother?” he asked.

“Yeah” Dean nodded, picking up the ladder and walking out of the office to put it back in the corner of the garage. Benny followed behind him, doing the same.

“You spacing out wouldn’t have something to do with a little lady by the name of Y/N, would it?” Benny grinned.

Dean rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “It’s none of your damn business, Lafitte.”

Benny chuckled to himself as he followed behind Dean, back into the office. “Things getting anywhere with you two, yet?”

“Yeah” Dean said, not wanting to say too much just yet.

“You gotta give me a little more than that, chief” Benny shrugged, not budging on the topic.

“Well, considering you won’t drop it… yes. I’m taking her out tonight” Dean told him as he looked down at some papers on his desk, sorting through them.

“Nice” Benny said, clapping him on the back. “Now, why ain’t ya shouting that from the rooftops, man?” the Southerner asked, confused that Dean was being so secretive.

“Because…” Dean trailed off, as he looked at his Southern friend, dropping the papers on the desk. “I just wanna be cautious. That’s all.”

Dean didn’t want to jinx anything by making too much of it. He had gained a whole lot of luck by her coming into his life. He didn’t want to start losing it.

Benny nodded, understanding. “I get it, brother. I do.” Benny tapped him gently on the back again, a soft smile on his face. “I’m happy for ya, Dean. ‘Bout time you got a good woman.”

Dean smiled, his mind instantly on Y/N as he nodded. “Thanks, Benny.”

Dean fixed up his desk a little before he glanced up at the clock, seeing that it was time for him to leave, go home and get ready for his date with Y/N. He said a quick bye to Ellen and Benny, who were just fixing up a few things before they were due to leave as well. Dean pulled out of the parking lot to the new building, flooring his beloved Baby as he headed home.

When Y/N heard the doorbell ring a few times, she smiled as she walked out of her room and down the hallway. She opened the door and smiled even wider as she saw Dean, looking incredible in his black jacket and dark blue jeans, a black sweater underneath and a black scarf around his neck. He hadn’t shaved and she was glad for it, loving a little scruff on him. Dean looked her up and down, smirking. She looked so good as she leaned against the door, her dress and boots making her look irresistible.

“You look… you look amazing” he told her, still smirking.

“You look pretty amazing yourself, handsome” she said, leaning into him as she kissed him.

“Ready to go?” he asked before kissing her again.

She moved back and picked up her bag, smiling at him. “Ready.”

She locked up her house and followed him over to the Impala, smiling as he turned on his music and drove them into the main town square.

They got to the restaurant in time, Dean giving them his name and being led to the back where it was slightly quieter, to a table for two. They sat down across from each other and Y/N smiled as she looked around the room. It was a quaint place, exposed brick walls with black and white photos of Lawrence and of Kansas City landmarks. Each table had a candle in a glass holder, bathing the room in a warm glow. As they had walked through, they had passed the kitchen, and her mouth had watered at the aromas wafting through.

“I love this place” she said, smiling at him as they settled in.

“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome” Dean smiled, looking around. “Food’s insane, too.”

They gave the waiter their drink orders, telling him they’d need a few more minutes to decide what to eat. When he came back with their drinks, a whiskey for Dean and a glass of white wine for Y/N, they decided on what they were getting. The waiter took their orders and then they were finally alone.

“So…” she said, trailing off as she flashed him a smile.

He smirked, leaning forward and folding his arms on the table. “So…”

She couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “I’m so happy we’re doing this.”

“Me too” he nodded, as he continued to look at her. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re wondering why, though.”

“I kind of was.” Y/N pursed her lips, nodding. “Can I say something, and you promise not to overthink it?” she asked, hoping he’d be fine with the question she wanted to ask.

“Sure” he shrugged, not seeing a problem just yet.

“I’m so happy you asked me out on a date” she started, reaching over the table and holding his wrist. “I just think… maybe we don’t need to? I mean, I know how I feel about you. It’s way past the dating stage and it’s scary to think of that way, but it’s true-” she rambled, and Dean cut her off with a small chuckle, as he took her hand off his wrist and clasped his with hers.

“I know we don’t need to, because I… I know I feel about you, too” he said, as his thumb ran over her knuckles. “I just wanna do the right thing here, Y/N. I have to do things right this time. I took Lisa out on dates, yeah, but they weren’t much to write home about, you know? I want things to be different with you.”

She smiled, genuinely touched by what he said. “That’s very sweet.”

“Well, I’m a sweet guy, what can I say?” he grinned, his cocky attitude on full display.

She rolled her eyes as she laughed. “How humble of you.”

“And hey, what kind of a boyfriend doesn’t take his drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend out on a date? Come on” he said, feigning anger but a smile came through as he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“That’s true” she said, giddy from the sweet gesture.

“And we gotta have some stories to tell our kids someday” he said, as he picked up his drink and took a sip.

She stared at him, wide-eyed. He clearly hadn’t realized what he just let slip.

“Kids, huh?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. She bit back a laugh as she saw his eyes bulge out of his sockets.

“I-I um…” he stuttered a little, as he tried to find the words to erase what he just said. When he looked at her and saw her smiling at him, with some new look in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place, he knew he didn’t need to hide away what he just said. “Yeah. Kids.”

She picked up her glass and took a sip of her wine, smiling around the edge of it. When she put it down and looked at him, she took his hand again. “Just know that I don’t need more than just you to know how you feel, but I’m glad for this date and any others all the same. And I can’t wait to tell our kids about them someday.”

If his friends could see him now, they’d rip him a new one for the full-blown chick-flick moment he was having. He didn’t care, though. He had the most amazing woman, and he was lucky to have her in his life.

He would never stop thanking whatever higher power existed for her coming here to Lawrence.

After dinner, they walked over to the cinema complex and bought tickets to an action movie. Y/N adored him for trying to say that they should go see a rom-com for her, but she told him that just because she was a girl, it didn’t mean that she liked all of the rom-coms out there. She had a feeling he was very relieved that she had insisted on the action movie. Dean bought them a large popcorn and drink combo to share, and they sat in the back row.

They munched on the popcorn as the movie played out as every other action film did. However, during one particularly steamy scene between the male and female protagonists, Y/N felt her body heating up. She crossed her legs uncomfortably, feeling hot as she sat next to Dean while the actors on screen were all over each other. She glanced over at Dean, seeing him shift slightly in his seat. Flashes of the night in her hotel room on New Year’s entered her mind, remembering how Dean had brought her so much pleasure just from his words.

At the same time, Dean was thinking about the same night, too. About how hot she sounded, about how he wanted to hear her say his name like she had that night, over and over again. You couldn’t cut the sexual tension in that cinema with a knife, as the rest of the movie carried out. They had both never been so relieved when it was finally over.

The drive back home had been silent, except for the music softly playing from the car’s radio. However, Y/N smiled to herself as she felt Dean’s hand slip into hers on the seat, in between them. He held it tightly and squeezed, lifting it as he turned his head and planted a kiss on her knuckles. When they arrived home, Dean parked the car and got out, taking her hand in his again when she got out as well. They walked across the street to her house, hand-in-hand, content to just be together. Finally.

Y/N walked up the porch stairs and to her front door, turning around and smiling up at him. She leaned up, her heeled boots giving a little more advantage to reach him better, planting a searing kiss on his perfect lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in deeper as his wrapped around her waist, inside her coat. She pressed back against the door as they continued their kiss, neither of them making a move to stop. Y/N pulled away and nipped along Dean’s stubbled jaw, loving the slight sting of his stubble across her lips.

“Y/N, uh, we should stop” he chuckled slightly, pulling an inch away from her to look her in the eyes.

She hummed as she combed her fingers through his hair, causing him to groan at the feel of it. “I think we should move this inside, don’t you?”

“I’d love to, sweetheart and believe me I really want to, but I gotta be up super early to uh… do something” he tried to explain as best as he could, without sounding suspicious. Which he hadn’t succeeded at because she frowned at him.

“Do something?” she asked, confused. “What?”

Dean blinked a few times, trying to think of something. He didn’t want to tell her that he had to go work on the new house, considering he completely envisioned her in that place. He wanted it to be a surprise for their future together.

“I can’t say, not yet at least” he replied, looking sheepish.

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at him but decided not to push any further. She trusted him and she knew that he’d tell her when he was ready.

“Okay” she nodded, slightly disappointed.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart” he whispered as he leaned in and kissed her nose.

“It’s fine” she shrugged, trying not to let it get to her. She turned around and faced the door and was about to put the key in the lock when Dean wrapped his arms around her waist, locking her in his embrace. He nuzzled his nose along her jaw, and kissed her cheek, softly.

“I’ll make it up to you, soon. I promise” he smirked, tilting his head to look at her.

Feeling him extremely close to her, his front to her back, gave her a naughty idea which she couldn’t get out of her head now that it was in there.

“I know” she said, turning her head to look at him. “But in the meantime, maybe I can leave you with a little something…”

She emphasized her words with a small tilt of her hips, pushing them back into his. He hummed as he felt her ass against the crotch of his jeans, his cock twitching slightly in his pants.

“Don’t play dirty with me, sweetheart” he growled in her ear. A shiver ran down her as she bit her lip, rubbing into him again. She could feel herself getting wet between her legs.

“Somehow I think you like that” she sighed, as she leaned back and pecked his lips. She took his hands in hers, moving them to hold onto her hips. She slowly began rutting back against him, his groans alerting her to his arousal. She moaned as she felt his cock becoming hard, straining against his jeans.

“Shit, Y/N” he hissed, feeling the pressure in his pants and not being able to do anything about it. He glanced around, hoping that no one would come out of their houses and see them. “Someone could see us.”

She shook her head, not letting him move away. “It’s okay, baby. It’s a quiet street, no one’s going to know.”

Dean thrust his hips forward against hers, growling as he felt his cock press against her ass every time he moved forward. She took his hands and moved them up her body, moving her coat back as she planted them on her breasts. He grunted as she pushed into him a little harder as their hips continued to meet, his covered hard on rubbing against the fabric of her dress over her behind. He could feel that he was about to lose it, as they continued to grind against each other.

“Fuck” he bit out through clenched teeth. He palmed her covered breasts, leaning in to kiss her neck. “Shit, sweetheart, fuck” he huffed as he groaned.

“Dean” she moaned, as she glanced back at him. Seeing her hooded eyes as her perfect mouth hung open from the pleasure that coursed through her, pushed him over the edge.

“Fuck, Y/N” he grunted as he leaned his forehead on her shoulder, shaking as his seed released inside his jeans.

Y/N smiled as she felt him breathing heavily, his chest against her back. She didn’t cum, but that didn’t bother her when it came to Dean. This was about him and just giving him another little preview of things to come for them.

“I feel like a teenage boy.” He shifted uncomfortably, his jeans no doubt stained now.

“You’re fucking full of surprises, sweetheart” he chuckled, as he nuzzled into her neck.

She laughed a little as she turned around, cupping his face in her hands. “You have no idea.”

She leaned in and kissed his lips, smiling into the kiss. He pulled away and looked at her, lifting a hand to stroke her Y/H/C hair back as he cupped her face.

“I better go” he whispered as he looked into her Y/E/C eyes. He leaned in, softly kissing her lips. “I’ll call you tomorrow after I’m done.”

“Okay” she said, smiling at him.

Dean stepped back from Y/N, winking at her before he turned around and walked down the porch stairs. Y/N went into her house, locked the door and practically screamed as she thought about everything that had just happened outside, a few minutes ago. She couldn’t believe she did something like that but as she had already realized, when it came to Dean, she lost all her inhibitions.

As she got ready for bed, she couldn’t stop thinking about how things were already so amazing between the two of them, and they were only going to get better.

Dean cleaned himself up and got dressed into a black shirt and sweats. When he climbed into bed and stared up at the ceiling, he smirked as he thought about Y/N. She kept surprising him, and he loved that. Given their age difference he had to keep up with her a little, but she was incredible in every way.

She was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it, but damn it if she wasn’t the most amazing woman he had ever been with.

The next few days were incredibly busy for both Y/N and Dean. He was busy with everything at the new garage, and she was busy with getting back to school and the start of the next semester. They had parent/teacher conference as well, so that added another layer of stress to that week.

The day of the parent/teacher conference was a long day. A day of classes first, and then once the kids left, the teachers set up their classrooms and made them look fancy with all the projects. Y/N had set up the room with different quotes from books and photos of literary figures, some that they had already studied and some that they would in the future. Parents of every form were there; couples still together, couples divorced and co-parenting, single moms, single dads and foster parents.

She was happy that she had this opportunity to meet them, and she was glad that things had become better, with almost all of the kids doing well. Some were at higher levels than others, but everyone was doing as well as they could in terms of their aptitude, and Y/N felt good about that. There were a couple, however, that she knew were going to have trouble in high school if they didn’t turn it around, quickly.

In between sessions, Y/N scrolled through her phone’s social media apps, texted Charlie and Cas down the hallway if they could take a break at the same time as her. After about only 15 minutes of catching up, however, they all had to go back to their next meetings. The hours were ticking by slowly, as she kept herself entertained with a book in between meetings. At another break, she was trying to read but she just couldn’t concentrate. Looking at the time, she realized that it was 6.30pm. Dean would’ve finished work half an hour ago, so she decided to text him.

Y/N: Currently waiting on my next meeting, but I’m so bored. I keep trying to read but I think I’ve read the same line 500 times in the last few minutes.

Dean: Well, I literally just finished work and on my way home!

Y/N: Oh no! What happened?

Dean: Eh, late deliveries that I had to wait around for. Dinner might be late, unless… pizza tonight?

Y/N bit her lip as an idea came to her. Now that he wasn’t making dinner and they could always order pizza a little later, she wanted to see what he thought about her idea.

Y/N: Sounds good, but maybe we can hold off on it for a bit?

Dean: Uh… I guess. Why?

Y/N: Do you think you can come to the school?

Dean: What are you up to, sweetheart?

Y/N: Why don’t you come here and find out? ;)

Dean stared down at his phone, every possibility of what she wanted going through his head. He shook his head. It couldn’t be what he was thinking.

Dean: Do I want to?

Y/N smiled as she shook her head. He clearly didn’t realize she was being serious about him coming to the school.

Y/N: Yes ;)

Dean choked at that message. Was his teacher fantasy about to play out? He almost couldn’t believe it.

Dean: On my way!

Y/N laughed at the gif of a car speeding that he had added.

Y/N: Give me 15 minutes with the next parents, and then I’m all yours, handsome. She added a heart emoji.

Dean couldn’t help but let out a groan when he read that.

Dean: Damn right you are ;)

Y/N felt a shiver run down her body as she bit her lip, reading his message. She had no idea what was going to happen once he got to the school, but damn she was excited to find out. The haze of arousal was broken however, when the next parents came in. They were talkers and the meeting went a little over time, but eventually they were both satisfied with everything Y/N told them. They thanked her and left, leaving her to wonder when Dean was going to get there. She stood up, took off her glasses and shut the lid of her laptop and was just about to message Dean and see where he was, when a light knock on the door interrupted her.

She smiled when she looked up and saw Dean leaning against the doorframe, smirking at her. He walked in and closed the door behind him, locking it, and pulling the blind down over the window in the door.

“I came in when the parents were leaving” he said, as he walked over to her. He gently pulled her towards him by her hand, her body close to his as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She smiled up at him, her arms automatically wrapping around his neck.

“I’m glad you did, but there’s still some people here so we have to be quiet” she told him. Even with her heeled knee-high boots on, she still had to push herself up slightly on the toes, to press her lips to Dean’s. “And… we have to be quick before the next meeting in 20 minutes.”

“Oh really?” he grinned. “What’re you planning on doing to me in 20 minutes?”

She hummed against his lips, her fingers combing through the short hair at the back of his head. “So many things. I’ve barely seen you; you’ve been so busy with the new site and I’ve been busy with everything leading up to tonight.”

He groaned, as one of his hands slipped down slightly, laying over one side of her behind, covered by her grey A-line skirt. “Fuck. I know. I swear, when things calm down slightly and it’s just up to the contractors to get all the heavy machinery into the site in the next few days, I’m taking you out.”

“I look forward to that, but I hope that doesn’t mean we can’t do a few things right now” she whispered against his lips.

“Definitely not” he whispered back, finally claiming her lips in a searing kiss.

If it were even possible, they pulled each other in even tighter, their bodies moulded together as they continued to kiss, passionately. Y/N softly bit Dean’s bottom lip, causing him to open his mouth and deepen the kiss. She moaned into the kiss, feeling his hand press a little harder into her ass. She pushed into his body, causing him to take a few steps back until his back was pressed against the wall. Her arms came away from his neck, her hands roaming over his muscles through his jacket and moving down his chest.

Her hands moved under his maroon button-up and pushed it off along with his jacket, Dean taking over in removing them completely and tossing them on the floor. Her lips moved away from his, kissing and nipping along his jaw, moving down to his neck. He groaned as she nipped at his neck, his hands groping her ass. Her hands moved over the black t-shirt covering his chest, and down to the outside of his jeans, feeling that he was getting hard already. She rubbed her hand along the seam of his jeans, feeling him grow harder. Dean hissed, feeling the pressure of his cock against the fabric of jeans. Suddenly, Dean stopped for a second, looking around. “Are you sure about this?”

“Of course,” she said, as she cupped his face. “Dean, what’s wrong?”

He smiled at her, a little sadly. “Should our first time really be like this?”

She smiled at him, her heart bursting with love at his concern. “Dean… I want you. I know you want me, too. I know you keep saying that we should do things right, but what’s right is you and me. Does this feel wrong to you?”

“No” he said, shaking his head, his response quick and firm.

“Then… there’s no problem, right?” she asked, biting her lip.

He groaned as he looked at her doing that. That always made him weak. “Right.”

Y/N smiled at him and went back to what she was doing. She unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops, tossing it behind her. She unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, pushing them down slightly. She pulled down his boxers and gasped as his cock was on full display, hard, as his length and girth made her mouth begin to water. He was bigger than any of the other men she had been with, and she felt her heart begin to beat faster. She lightly grasped it, her hand moving slowly along the shaft. She stared into Dean’s eyes and smiled, biting her lip. He let out a shaky breath as he looked at her, his eyes clouded with arousal. Her fingers moved over the tip, feeling pre-cum drip out onto her fingers. She took his cock in both of her hands, pumping them up and down as she moved down to her knees.

Dean groaned as he watched Y/N get on her knees, his cock in her hands. She leaned forward and kissed the tip, her tongue circling the head. She sucked at the head, slowly taking in more of him, inch by inch. Her hand grasped the base of his cock, pumping up and down as she bobbed her head, wetting the shaft with her saliva. She looked up at him as her other hand cupped his balls, massaging them in her hand.

Dean grunted, throwing his head back against the wall, his mouth hanging open. “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re so fucking good at that.” He looked down at her, his thumb stroking her jaw, as her cheeks hollowed while she continued to take him into her mouth. “Love seeing your mouth on my cock.”

She moaned loudly as she drew back and pulled her mouth off him, her hand continuing to move along his dick. “Your cock feels so good in my mouth, Dean. I can’t wait to feel you inside me.”

Dean couldn’t wait for that either. He took her hand off him and tugged, making her stand up. Her mouth felt incredible, but he definitely didn’t want to cum yet.

Y/N let go of Dean’s hand and moved hers under the waistband of her skirt, pulling out the end of her black, full sleeve top. Dean moved her hands away, taking over as he pulled the end of her shirt over her breasts, revealing her dark red bra. He reached up and pulled the cups down, her nipples pebbled and aching against the slight chill in the room. He leaned into her right breast, kissing her flesh, his tongue circling the nub. She grasped his hair in her hands, bringing him in closer.

“Dean” she gasped, as he sucked and nipped at her, moving to her left and doing the same.

Dean bent his knees, grasping the bottom of her skirt and bunching it, revealing her matching panties. His hand moved in, his fingers rubbing along the outside of the fabric, feeling how wet she already was.

“Shit, you’re so wet sweetheart. Did sucking my cock turn you on that much?” he asked, his voice husky as his fingers moved faster along the fabric.

She let out a shaky breath, as she nodded. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled, slightly.

She nodded, frantically as his hand continued to move. “Dean…”

“What, sweetheart?” he asked, kissing her nipple.

He hooked a finger in her panties and moved them to the side, groaning as he felt her wetness against his fingers. He ran them along her folds, his thumb flicking lightly over her clit.

She moaned, her chest heaving as she breathed deeply. “F-fuck me. Please. Please fuck me.”

Dean moved them backwards, until her ass rested against the edge of her desk. He grasped her thighs and lifted her up, sitting her on top of it.

Dean’s hands moved down along her thigh-high stockings, biting his lip as he felt her soft flesh against his fingers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him for a heated kiss. Her hand cupped his jaw, bringing his mouth tight against hers. They parted when they needed to breath, as she wrapped her boot-covered legs around his hips. Dean lifted his black shirt up and took it off, her hands immediately roaming over his muscular arms and shoulders, his hard but soft torso. She bit her lip, keeping herself from moaning too loudly at the sight of him. He was truly the most gorgeous man she had ever been with. Dean moved closer, as he took hold of his cock, pumping his hand along the shaft a few times.

He stopped, however, when he realized something. “Shit, I don’t have any-” he started but she cut him off with a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’m on the pill” she nodded as she looked into his eyes. “We’re good.”

He smirked slightly, as he looked at her. “Okay.”

He took hold of cock and guided it to her entrance, pressing the tip in. He moved forward, slowly sinking into her warm cavern. She hummed at the feel of him, her walls stretching to accommodate his size. He gave her a second to adjust, before he slowly started to pull out. He pushed back in, setting a slow rhythm.

“Y/N” he moaned, softly. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight. So fucking perfect.”

His hips met hers, as he gradually picked up the pace. He thrusted into her at a moderate pace, causing her to moan loudly, forgetting where they were.

He laughed as he pressed his lips to hers. “Shh, sweetheart. Can’t let anyone hear us.”

She whimpered, as she moved her hips against his. “Fuck, Dean.”

Dean growled low, feeling it rumble in his chest. “Shit, sweetheart. You feel fucking amazing wrapped around my cock.”

“Dean” she moaned quietly. “Fuck me harder.”

“Harder, huh?” he grinned, pressing his forehead against hers. “Like this?”

He drove his hips in, the drag of his hips longer as he continued at the pace he had set, but his cock moving in harder and deeper within her.

“Yes” she gasped. “Just like that. Oh god, Dean.”

“You like that?” he asked, as he looked down at his cock driving into her.

“Yes” she moaned, her voice choked as she tried to stop herself from raising her voice.

She threw her head back, exposing her neck, her chest pushing out. Dean leaned in, kissing her neck, along her collarbone and down the valley of her breasts, feverishly. She moved in, wrapping her arms around him, tightly. Their faces were close to each other, their hot breath mingling as they let out small moans, gasps and groans. Y/N leaned down, sinking her teeth into Dean’s shoulder as she tried to stop herself from moaning loudly. Dean hissed at the sting of her teeth on his flesh but moaned softly as it added another layer of pleasure to what he was already feeling.

Dean’s hips picked up pace, the desk underneath them beginning to rock back and forth from the force of his thrusts. Y/N pressed her lips together, trying to keep quiet, as her hips met his, matching his pace. They were both close.

“Fuck, Y/N” he grunted, pressing his forehead against hers.

“Dean” she moaned, opening her eyes and staring at him. “I’m so close.”

The coil began to wind up tight in her core, ready to break at any moment. She whimpered as he grabbed her hips and drew her in closer, his cock hitting her g-spot with every thrust.

“Cum for me, Y/N. Cum on my cock” he groaned, his hips unrelenting.

Items on the desk began to shake, and Y/N knew she had to get to her release before something fell and alerted someone to what was happening. Somehow Dean understood when she looked down at the lamp shaking; he quickly licked his fingers and brought them to her clit, circling the little bundle of nerves in tight, fast circles.

She let out a harsh gasp, her mouth hanging open as the coil snapped, panting quick, shallow breaths as she came. Her release slicked his cock, warm and wet against him. Dean’s thrusts became erratic, stuttering as he approached the edge.

“Dean” she moaned as she cupped his face, looking into his eyes. “Cum inside me.”

He panted, his breath hot against her lips, letting out a choked grunt as he thrust into her few more times, falling over the edge as he came inside her. He leaned his head on her shoulder, his hips slowing into shallow thrusts. He slowly pulled out of her, as she felt his seed drip out of her.

Y/N leaned her cheek against his head, combing her hand through his sweat soaked hair as they both came down from their high, breathing deeply. After a few moments, he slowly lifted his head, looking into her eyes. She smiled at him as he smirked, both of them laughing quietly. He leaned in, kissing her softly, a change of pace to how he had just fucked her, showing that he was as sweet as he was incredibly sexy. He kissed her lips, once, twice, three times before slowly moving away from her.

Y/N reached over and took out some tissues, cleaning herself as she passed Dean a few as well. He cleaned up and then pulled up his boxers and jeans, buttoning them up and pulling up the zip. He picked up his belt from the floor and put it through the loops, buckling it. She fixed her panties and pulled her skirt down, fixing the cups of her bra and pulling her top down, tucking it back in. Once they had redressed, Dean walked over to her as he shrugged on his jacket. He held her hips as he leaned in, kissing her again.

“You should head home” she told him, smiling. “I’ll be there in another hour.”

“Okay, I’ll order the pizza” he said, cupping her cheeks in his hands. “Should be there by the time you get home.”

“Sounds good” she said, still smiling.

There was a moment of silence between them as they looked at each other.

“That was amazing” she said, feeling her cheeks heat up.

“Fuck yeah, it was” he grinned, his eyes lighting up.

She laughed at him as she lightly smacked his chest.

“I’ll see ya in a bit” he whispered against her lips, kissing her softly.

“Yeah” she whispered as he pulled away.

Dean walked over to the door and unlocked it. He opened it and turned back to her, seeing her watching him. She looked even more beautiful with her lips slightly swollen from kissing, and the knowledge that he had just ravaged her almost got him hard all over again. With one last look and a wink at her that caused the most beautiful smile to grace her face, he left and walked down the hall, ready to head home and wait for her.

Y/N fixed everything on the desk which had moved during their rendezvous. After the last few couples came in for their meetings, she packed up her things, put on her coat and scarf and shut off the light in the room. She walked down the hallway, the heels of her boots echoing off the floors.

As she drove home, the smile just wouldn’t leave her face. What they did back there, had been everything she could possibly want. It had been everything that they both needed. It solidified everything they both wanted from each other and for their future.

They were each other’s future.

And that was the biggest reason to smile.

-x-

If you’re crossed out, it means I can’t tag you :(

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @ellewritesfix05 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @supraveng @roonyxx @supernatural-love14 @vicmc624 @prettyboyswow​ @lunarmoon8​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​

[deanstop13billyjoeltraxx]

Empty Space

A fix-it fic because we were ROBBED.

I wrote this for my own closure, and it is unedited, but I thought I would post it here anyway. 

Dean didn’t want to open his eyes.

He couldn’t feel the chains and the heat, or hear the screams. Not yet. But he knew it would come. He wanted to savor these final moments of simple nothingness. A story left unfinished. The bliss that came before eternal suffering. There was no coming back this time. 

He could still feel Sam cradling him. His last breath. The pain in his back.

This was it.

Dean stood for god knows how long, willing himself anywhere but where he knew he was. The Veil, the Empty, hell, even being reincarnated as a tree would be better than whatever was waiting in front of him. 

A bird chirped, startling Dean’s eyes open. 

He stood in the middle of a field adjacent to a road, tall pines lining the asphalt. The sun nearly blinded him, and he put a hand up to shield his eyes. It shone in that in-between kind of way, as if it was the middle of October, everything in flux. He could see a small, wooden building not too far ahead. Dean looked at his hands, then back up at the sky. 

“Huh,” he huffed. “I made it.” 

It was both a statement and a question. I made it to heaven. How did I make it to heaven? Dean took a step towards the house, half expecting the jig to be up at that point. When the ground didn’t crumble beneath him, and the bright blue sky didn’t melt away into hellfire, he took another step, one with more conviction. And then he was walking toward the building.

Dean’s mind was racing. With what memory would he be spending eternity? If his life hadn’t flashed before his eyes at his death, it sure as hell was now. Dean swallowed hard at the revelation that there were too many heavens for him, that his life had so many more good memories than he had ever given it credit for. Motel rooms with Sam, Lawrence with Mary, Jody’s dinner table… And Cas. Bars with Cas, the Impala with Cas, the bunker with Cas… 

He knew Cas wouldn’t be in his heaven. That was more torture than paradise. Dean would look at Cas and only see all the things he never said.

Finally, Dean reached the building. Someone was sitting in a rocking chair -- 

“Bobby?” Dean asked, incredulous.

“Hey, kid,” Bobby said with a smile. “Took you long enough.”

“What memory is this?” Dean had realized he was standing on the porch of Ellen’s roadhouse. But where was Sam, where was his mom, where was -- 

“It’s not a memory,” Bobby said.

“What? But I thought --”

Bobby shrugged. “Things have changed around here. Your boy, he shook things up. For the better,” he added, opening the cooler next to his chair. “You can sit, you know.”

Dean accepted the invitation, settling into the rocking chair across from Bobby. He graciously accepted the beer from Bobby’s hand. “So… Jack did… all this?” He asked, taking a sip. 

“Well,” Bobby sighed, shifting in his seat. “Cas helped.” 

Dean nearly choked on his beer. Not that it would matter. I’m already dead, his brain joked, helpfully. 

“C-Cas?” He whispered, searching Bobby’s face for answers. 

Bobby just raised his eyebrows and took another swig. 

Dean stared down at his hands. Bobby was explaining the logistics of this new heaven, how Rufus lived five miles down the road, how Mary and John had a place not too far from Bobby’s. Dean could hear him, but his mind was miles away. 

“Dean?” Bobby prodded, evidently having finished his explanation. Dean nodded at him, a wry smile on his face. 

“It’s almost perfect,” he said, and he meant so many things. If Sam was here, it’d be perfect. If Jack was here, it’d be perfect. 

If Cas was here, it’d be perfect.

“He’ll be along,” Bobby said, referring to Sam. Dean nodded again. “It’ll take time, but he’ll be here.” 

“How long?” Dean asked, looking up to meet Bobby’s eyes. 

Bobby just shrugged. “Time passes differently here,” he answered. 

“What do I do?”

“What do you want to do?” 

Dean considered the question and realized it might be the first time he’d ever asked it of himself. 

“I think I’ll go for a drive.” 

Cas watched Dean die from a distance. 

He might have been able to find some comedic irony in the whole thing. Dean Winchester, who beat God, killed Death, saved the world…  killed by a rusty barn nail. 

Cas watched Sam burn Dean’s body. 

Cas watched new hunters.

Cas watched old friends.

Cas watched humanity learn to live in a world without his family protecting it.

But mostly, Cas just watched Dean. 

He watched him as he opened his eyes in heaven. He watched him talk to Bobby. He watched him get in the Impala.

He watched him drive. 

Dean drove for miles, windows down, Led Zeppelin screaming through his speakers. Cas watched him bellow the lyrics offkey, watched him pump his fists in the air, watched him push 120 with his eyes closed because, of course he would, it’s Dean. 

Cas watched all of this, but he did nothing.

Cas had fully expected the eternal sleep of the Empty. Embraced it, really. But instead, he simply woke up in heaven. It was a little bleak for a while there, with Chuck attempting to destroy the universe and all that, but then there was Jack. 

“What am I doing here?” Cas asked. “I’m supposed to be…”

“The Empty can’t take you,” Jack replied with a smile. “You have a soul.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion. “I’m an angel,” he said in monotone.

“Yes,” Jack said. “With a soul.” 

“How is that even possible?” Cas asked, now entirely at a loss. 

Jack shrugged. “It might have something to do with your true happiness.”

Cas blanched at that. 

Jack was glad to have him in heaven. He needed all the help he could get, he said, changing the place, making it more of a paradise and less of a prison. 

Cas was happy to oblige him, but quietly, reservedly. 

What was it? Your moment of true happiness?

Cas couldn’t tell him. Not while Dean was still alive, while he had a chance at a normal life. Jack would want Cas to see him, talk to him, to do something, and Cas couldn’t. He wouldn’t take that chance from Dean. Not ever. 

And now? Dean was dead. His story, over. No more second chances. Cas knew he would have to do something eventually.

And still, he watched.

He watched Dean pull the Impala to a stop on top of a bridge. Take a deep breath. Get out of the car. Look around. 

Cas watched Dean bow his head. 

And, finally, Cas watched Dean pray.

This might be the dumbest shit I have ever done.

Wait, can I swear in heaven?

Hmm… Fuck?

Awesome.

Anyway, this is definitely the dumbest shit I have ever done. I’m in heaven. Who prays when they’re already in heaven? But, anyway, it worked in Purgatory, so I figured it might work here…

I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry I got myself sent to hell and you had to save me. I’m sorry that every time you tried to do right by me, I told you how you fucked it up. I’m sorry that you rebelled for me. I’m sorry that you gave up an army for me. I’m sorry that you died to save me. More than once. 

Jesus, am I sorry you died thinking anything but the truth.

Cas, I don’t know where you are, or if you’re busy, or if you never want to see me again. But if you got time… I got something to tell you. 

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes shot open. His heart was pounding -- weird, I still have a heartbeat? -- his mouth had gone dry. He felt rooted to the spot, as if turning around and seeing one more bit of perfection might shatter the rose-colored glass. 

But he turned around anyway. Slowly. Deliberately. 

And there he was, stupid trenchcoat and all.

Cas.

Dean could barely swallow over the lump in his throat. Cas was regarding him with a curious, reserved expression, his hands in his pockets. 

“Hey, Cas,” Dean whispered.

“I heard your prayer,” Cas said, and it was all Dean could do to choke back a tearful laugh. “You said you… had something to tell me.” 

And, shit, if Dean had thought being dead would make baring his soul any easier, he was dead fucking wrong. 

“Uh,” he shifted on his feet. “How long you been back?” 

Cas shrugged. “I never really left,” he said. 

“What? I saw the Empty take you.”

“I don’t know. I woke up in heaven. Well, the other heaven,” Cas said. “Jack seems to think I somehow… Gained a soul.” Dean raised his eyebrows. “It makes sense… I think,” Cas continued. “My moment of true happiness, it fundamentally altered who I was. Happiness is a uniquely human experience. When I finally achieved that, something in me became human.”

“Well, Jack is God, now,” Dean said with an awkward chuckle. “So he must be right. All-knowing or whatever.” 

“Right,” Cas said, eyes narrowed. 

“I guess you’ve been busy,” Dean said. He didn’t say, that’s why you didn’t come to see me. 

“Indeed.” 

How can I still manage to fuck this up in heaven, Dean yelled at himself, looking anywhere but Cas’ suspicious face. 

“Dean?” Cas prodded, and that was enough. 

Dean closed the distance between them in three long strides, wrapping Cas up in his arms. Cas went rigid with surprise, but eventually, he hugged back. 

“I thought you were gone,” Dean whispered. “Like, really, really gone.”

“I did too,” Cas replied. 

Dean’s face was wet with tears, but he buried it in Cas’ shoulder anyway. “Fuck,” he hissed. “Fuck. Okay.” 

He lifted his head, but didn’t release Cas from the hug. They stood, locked in embrace, while Dean screwed up his courage. 

“You can have it, you know,” he said softly over Cas’ shoulder.

It seemed like every atom in Cas’ body stopped moving. His shoulders tensed, and he maneuvered out of Dean’s arms. 

“What?” He asked. Dean panicked for a moment, seeing Cas’ guarded eyes. He almost convinced himself to laugh it off, punch Cas in the arm, make some joke about how this really must be heaven if the Impala can go that fast, but he stopped himself. 

“You told me, before you… That the one thing you want, you can’t have it,” Dean said, forcing himself to hold Cas’ gaze. “Well, I’m telling you now, you can have it.” 

“I don’t understand --” Cas tried to say, but Dean leaned in and the words were gone. 

The kiss was everything he could have wanted and nothing he could have dreamed of. The feeling of right, of home settled into Dean’s molecular makeup, as if this was all it would have taken to fix him all those times he had been broken. As if the gaping hole in his chest was always just Cas-shaped empty space. 

Cas pulled away slowly. Was he in a dream? Was he actually asleep, in the Empty, and now it was playing with him?

“Dean,” Cas said. “Are you --”

“In love with you? Yes,” Dean finished, urgent. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back there. I didn’t -- you left so fast.” 

Cas blinked. “I wasn’t expecting a response,” he said, his mind feeling more than a little fried. 

“You weren’t…” Dean trailed off into a chuckle. “Really?” He asked, smiling, his eyebrows raised. 

Cas would have spent every eternity in the Empty for that smile. 

“Really,” Cas said, smiling wryly back. “Evidently, I was incorrect in that assumption.” 

“You gave me a whole speech, Cas,” Dean said. “What was I supposed to say?” 

Cas gave him a serious look. “You needed to hear those things, Dean. I couldn’t leave without you knowing how I felt about you.” He swallowed. “You are real, though?” 

Dean stared at him for a moment, then pulled him into another kiss. Cas thought he must have a soul, and this must be heaven, because nothing in his millennium had ever felt like kissing Dean Winchester. 

“That answer your question?” Dean said after pulling away. 

“Yes,” Cas said softly. “It does.”  

[atc74]

Poor Little Rich Girl

Square Filled: Impala Sex

Warnings: Impala sex, unprotected sex, arranged/forced marriage, minor physical assault

Summary: Dean is in love with Y/N, Jo wants what isn’t hers and Mafia boss Ellen gives John Winchester an ultimatum that will change the lives of everyone involved.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Dean x Jo

Word Count: 907

Written for: @spnkinkbingo and @supernatural-jackles #weekly writing challenge, prompt will be in bold below. 

Beta’d by: @hannahindie - you are always there when I need you!

Wonder what Dean or John might smell like? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker for the full fan experience!

A/N: This is part two of a three part mini series. This series paints Jo in a very bad light. I’m not sorry. Your feedback is my motivation!

Part One

“Dean, I’m so happy to see you’ve made the right decision. My Joanna Beth will make you so happy,” Ellen held her wine glass high. “To Jo and Dean.”

“To Jo and Dean,” John repeated robotically.

Dean stared at Ellen first, then his father before he turned his eyes on Jo. She sat smugly across the table from him, a grin on her face that rivaled the Cheshire Cat.

“Your wedding will be held here, in two weeks time,” Ellen informed them.

“Mom! That’s so fast! Do we have enough time to pull everything together?” Jo looked just as surprised as Dean, as he felt the air get knocked out of his lungs at Ellen’s announcement.

“There’s plenty of time, baby,” Ellen assured her with a cunning smile.  

~*~

“What do you mean, you’re marrying Jo?” Y/N squawked when Dean told her.

“Ellen gave my dad an ultimatum. She’s the reason we’re all still alive. If I don’t do this, she’ll take everything from me, including you. If I can’t be with you, I would rather live in a world where you are still breathing than in one where you don’t exist. In a world where you were killed because of me,” Dean cried as he gave her the news.

“We’ll leave. We’ll change our names. We can go anywhere,” Y/N tugged on Dean’s hand as she pleaded.

“You know that won’t work, Y/N. She’ll find us, then we’ll both be dead. Or worse, she’ll kill you  to torture me and I’ll still have to marry Jo,” Dean, sighed, resting his forehead against hers.

“I won’t live without you Dean,” Y/N sobbed in his arms. “I can’t.”

“I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I never wanted this life for you,” Dean pressed a kiss to her temple. “I want you to go somewhere safe. She won’t look for you. Ellen will think you left because of me.”

“The only place I feel safe is in your arms, Dean,” she wrapped her own around his strong shoulders and pulled herself into his lap, straddling him in the front seat of his Impala. “Please don’t make me leave.”

“Seeing you every day, knowing I can’t have you...that would be worse than death,” Dean rasped as she rolled her hips against him.

“Then have me one last time,” she whispered.

Dean didn’t waste another minute. He unbuckled his belt and his jeans, pushing them down just far enough to release his cock from the tight confines of the denim. He slipped his hands up her thighs, under her skirt. His rough fingertips toyed with damp crotch of her panties.

“You’re wet for me already?” Dean smirked in the darkness.

“I’m always wet for you Dean,” she murmured against his lips as he breached the soft cotton, pulling them to the side. She angled her hips and his hard cock slipped inside her. She sank down on him, taking him deep in her tight pussy.

“God, I’m gonna miss this. Gonna miss you,” Dean panted, his hips bucking out a slow rhythm as he fucked up into her wet heat. “Feel so good.”

“God Dean, faster,” she panted, her breath hot in his ear. “I need you baby. Make me feel you for days. Make me remember so I’ll never forget.”

Dean obliged, fucking her faster and harder than he ever had. He dug his fingertips into the meaty flesh of her hips as she bounced on his cock, meeting his rhythm.

“Fuck, Y/N! I’m going to make you mine one last time!” He howled as he reached his end, spilling his hot seed into her and pulling her with him as her walls clenched around him.

The windows of the Impala were fogged up, cloaking them in darkness as they came down from their highs. Dean lifted his head from where it was resting on the seat to see tears in her eyes.

“Why are you crying?” Dean whispered, wiping away her tears with the pad of his thumb.

“Because this is the last time we’ll ever be together. You don’t belong to me anymore,” she cried, burying her face in his shirt.

“I may be forced to marry her, but I’ll never love her. I’ll never love anyone the way I love you,” Dean vowed. “I’ll always belong to you.”

~*~

“Why the long face, Y/N?” Jo chirped, seeing the forlorned look on her face as she walked into the bar that night for her shift.

“Shut your mouth, bitch!” Y/N sneered. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough for one lifetime?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jo smiled innocently.

“Even when we were little, you had to have what I had. My dolls, my toys, my friends. Nothing was off limits for you to take exactly what you wanted. But this is a new low, even for you,” Y/N snapped. “Poor little rich girl, always wanting what she can’t have. He’ll never belong to you, Jo. Never!”

As she spat her final words to the woman who had been her friend for so long, she let go of of the all the anger she had been holding inside and slapped her across the face with all her might.

Jo swung her head back around to face Y/N. She grinned as she wiped a drop of blood from her lip. “That may be, but at least he isn’t yours anymore.”

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @cherrycokegirls1 @closetspngirl  @roxyspearing @flamencodiva @blacktithe7 @sis-tafics @just-another-busy-fangirl @evansrogerskitten @amanda-teaches @hannahindie @wotinspntarnation @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @kickingitwithkirk  @deanwinchesterswitch @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @mogaruke @gh0stgurl

The Dean’s List: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon @maddiepants @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @supernatural-jackles @docharleythegeekqueen @adoptdontshoppets @mtngirlforever

[nowitsdarkfic]

chapter twenty-seven (bud e luv bomb and satan’s lounge band)

October 23, 1988. New Orleans, Louisiana.

I haven't been able to find my shoes anywhere in Lars' place. Either I lost them in the restaurant or something else happened to them. Nevertheless, I don't really want to walk about the wet ground of the French Quarter barefoot. I found my ring in my jeans pocket, but I cannot for the life of me remember where I left my shoes. But nowhere in Lars' apartment can I find any shoes or boots or anything that seems to fit me. And the fact he hasn't woken up yet, at eight thirty, tells me I should probably bypass him and search for some shoes myself.

Meanwhile, I still haven't heard a peep from Ellen's apartment. I'm pretty sure I am the last person she saw given I'm met with silence each time I walk over there to knock on her door. I finally gave up about a half an hour ago when I decided it's better if I just take care of myself and fetch something to eat downstairs. I fix my shirt and head on downstairs with the coat over my body to see if it actually does fit me. Musty and scratchy, but does fit me well especially at my hips. I put on the gloves, which fit as though they were made for my hands. I lift my hair out from underneath the collar before wheeling around and heading out of the apartment. Lars is still sound asleep by the time I leave the apartment and head out to the hallway. The floor boards creak under my bare feet as I amble down to Ellen's door again.

Gently, I knock on the panel.

“Ellen? Are you there?”

I'm still met with silence.

“Ellen, it's Joey.” I feel odd saying this already. “I know you're probably gone now, like you went in your sleep but—” I don't know if it's the thirst of having drank a lot the night before or if it's the fact I was the last person for her to see me, but my throat is already closing up.

“—I want to tell you thank you. You know for... sharing your final moments with me and your last bit of wisdom. I'll admit I was a little unsure at first but—I don't know what I'm saying. You were a ghastly sick old lady taking her final steps and I want to thank you for letting me take them with you. But—I have to go now. I hope you and I can meet again one day.”

I sigh through my nose and feel the weight of the silence upon me. I close my eyes as I keep my hand on the door panel. I slide my hand down to the doorknob to feel it turn a bit. The door swings open and I'm met with a rush of cool air that smells clean once again. She's in there, I can sense it. It's like how I can sense Mrs. Snow or Vera in the same room with me. There's the corpse of an old lady in there but I don't really want to see it.

I close the door again out of respect for her. At least I can do one thing right for once in this past week.

I run my fingers through my hair before heading down the stairs to the bar and the restaurant, which is bustling with patrons and waitresses docked in black button up blouses and black and red skirts. I take a seat at the sole empty table near the stage, where the band of the day is setting up their amps and their equipment. A waitress strolls on over to me and asks me if I can have anything to drink.

“Cup of coffee please—no cream—and a blueberry muffin.”

She nods at me before stepping away. I can only hope I've got enough in my pockets to cover for it; I fold my arms over the top of the table and lean over so as to hide my face. I glance over my shoulder at the stage behind me and the girl in a lush crimson long dress that looks as though it's made entirely of velvet is setting up the microphone rack right down by her feet. I watch her stand up before the microphone itself and blow into it.

I adjust myself in the seat of the chair so my elbow rests on the top of the back and I'm facing her straight on.

She opens her lips and starts to sing “Blackbird” by the Beatles.

I learned to sing by covering the Beatles.

I can't help it: I do it along with her, but without my own microphone.

She lifts her gaze to me and our eyes lock together for a moment but it's long enough to coax a smile from her. I flash her wink and she wraps her fingers around the stand, to which I see a wedding ring on her third finger.

FUCK.

I sigh through my nose and that's when the waitress returns to me. I shift back around in my chair at the sight of a white mug of fresh black coffee and a big fresh blueberry muffin that I swear is larger than my fist. I take a sip of the coffee and it caresses my poor parched mouth with its warmth. I pick at my muffin, and I usually like my blueberry ones, especially the ones straight out of the oven. I think it just might be the hangover talking, though, so I keep drinking the coffee to the very bottom of the mug.

Little better. My headache is going away, but my appetite is still a ways off, though.

I pick at the muffin even more and once I reach the stump, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn my head to find the girl who was up on stage standing next to me but with a jacket over her dress.

“'Scuse me—er, I hate to do this to you,” she speaks with a little lighter of an accent compared to Ellen's, “but I saw you singin' earlier, and I was just wonderin' if it wouldn't be too much trouble for me to ask you if could you fill in for me, please? I have an emergency at home that I need to tend to, but I don't want my band to be without a singer again.”

“Um—sure.” The butterflies rise up inside of my stomach because this is a total unknown to me.

“We're just a cover band and we're only gonna do a couple of songs before we head on home, anyways. We're just the openin' band for the main act in a little while.”

“Yeah, I'd be honored to—it's no bother. Just lemme finish my muffin—”

She returns to the band, all of whom are already taking their places up on the stage. I wasn't hungry before but I wolf down the remainder of the muffin stump before striding over to them. I wish I hadn't already drank down the coffee because the whole thing coats my mouth for a moment. I recall what Ellen had told me the night before given this is the Big Easy and that someone will have work for you. I adjust the lapels of my coat and climb up the trio of steps leading up onto the stage.

There's a black girl with dreadlocks behind the small drum kit, a sandy haired boy holding an oversized blue bass guitar with five strings, and two boys with pompadours atop their heads holding twin red guitars. They're all wearing white shirts and black and white leggings held up with black suspenders.

Like a lounge version of Anthrax.

“Hey, guys, I'm Joey,” I introduce to them. “Your singer just told me she had to run on home real quick and so I took up to the challenge.”

“No challenge here, man,” the bass player assures me, “we're just gonna play two songs and then we're heading out.”

“The first song we're doing is 'Hush' by Deep Purple,” the drummer calls out to me. “Do you know that one?”

“Hell yeah! Like, by heart!”

“I like this guy already,” the guitarist on the right chuckles, taking out a comb from his trouser pocket for a quick swipe over his head, “let's get on it.”

I pull the thread bare coat over me before ambling over the stage to the microphone stand. I curl my fingers back to better break into the black leather gloves. All eyes are on me and the fact I'm the one person up here dressed in black with disheveled hair, bare feet, and dark Indian skin. I gaze on at the crowd before us. I hope Lars will hear me belt it out as the four of them launch into their heavy, rough sound right behind me. It's like being with Anthrax again as I grip onto the microphone stand with my left hand.

I think about Maya, who's back in Seattle; about Ellen, who's upstairs; Brick, who's in the hospital; the fact I got drunk last night and lied to my parents; and most of all, I think about my past with Anthrax. It's all coming down on me like a pouring, torrential rain from the incoming hurricane outside.

But all I can do is sing out, and sing loud.

Since I woke up hungover, and I had just eaten a muffin, I haven't been able to warm up but I go forth with it anyways. My voice comes out broken and garbled, but loud and still plenty powerful from my last performance on State of Euphoria, even against the full sounding bass and the loud guitars. Their instruments are rough and filthy in sound, as though they hadn't spent a lot of money on buying them, but they're good musicians, though. They're a good heavy weight against my voice.

I'm loud, even with the breaks in my voice and my stomach tightening up. Ellen's firmly on my mind as I'm nearing the end of the first verse.

I feel a piece of my hair falling into my face, but I don't care. If anything, it just adds to it.

Ellen died alone and I'm the one soul grieving her at the moment.

My voice breaks even more when I hit the chorus and I throw myself into it even more. The four of them join in with me on their microphones.

I think back to when Anthrax and I did a song at the end of our album from last year, Among the Living, called “Bud E Luv Bomb and Satan's Lounge Band”, where I was Bud E Luv Bomb, the smarmy lounge singer blitzed off his ass on booze and cocaine and God knows what else. We did it as kind of a joke, but I had become that very entity.

I am Bud E Luv Bomb, and this is Satan's Lounge Band right behind me.

I run my fingers through my hair so everyone can better see my face. This is where I open my eyes to catch a view of the audience. Everyone is gazing on at me in awe.

I wonder how many of the people in here are aware that I was once the lead singer for a thrash metal band and am now caught up in a hurricane of strange events.

Probably not many, because the couple right in front of me lean together to say something. After the guitar solo, I hear the man on the right say, “he's got a lot of soul” and the woman next to him follow with “yeah, he's an amazing singer. Lot of melancholy.”

Melancholy, yes, especially at the moment. Amazing? Meh. I'm not sure about that.

[ezilyamuzed]

There’s no place like home - Part 8

Summary: The reader has had a unique gift all her life. While considering it a curse, she discovers the identity of her real father after her mothers passing. Journeying towards her new life, she finds herself thrown within the Winchester’s world. Is it her destiny?

Setting: End of season 13. This takes place after episode 13.18.

Warnings: Language. Some angst, fluff, drama- a typically SPN episode.  POV may switch after certain sections. 

A/N: I’ll apologize now, what you are about to read is a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, at least it was for me. This was not all in my original plan, but I am happy it had happened. I’ve been rewatching the series and during this time I was on Season 5 where Jo and Ellen die, tears still coming although it was probably the 10th time I had watched it. Amazing how much character’s relationships can still make your heart break years after. I promise more interesting things are on the way. We aren’t even close to done.

Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Sam and Dean had shifted glances to each other, their Adam’s apples bobbing as they swallowed hard, waiting to see who was going to answer your question of why they had brought up the men of letters. You stood there patiently waiting, leaning up against the end table with your arms crossed while watching the apprehension move between them.

“Well, guys? Why does some boy band called the Men of Letters matter?”

“You said a man and woman came to see you?” Dean questioned while raising his eyebrow.

“Yeah, some British guy. Ketchup or something,” you chuckled while trying to remember what it really was. 

Dean squeezed his eyes tight while shaking his head. “You mean Ketch?”

“Yeah that was it, and the girl was Campbell, like the soup. I guess I had food on the brain that day,” you laughed.

“Campbell?” Sam coaxed.

“Yeah, um Mary,” you said looking into his inquiring face. Flashes of your memory went through your head as you tried to recall the details. “She seemed a little uneasy being there… actually, her light was different like yours too.”

Sam and Dean stared back at each other again like they just witnessed a nuclear bomb go off in front of them and were frozen in place. Dean tilted his head slightly to Sam, encouraging him to speak first with his eyes. Sam gave an audible sigh and ran his hand through his hair before speaking.

“Mary Campbell is Mary Winchester, our mom.”

“And the dick with her is a part of the Men of Letters from over the Atlantic,” Dean included.

“We think that your grandfather was involved somehow, here in America,” Sam said while moving to grab the mahogany frame. “This is the outside of their bunker, their safe house if you will.”

You held up your hands to stop them. “Whoa. Back up there. Your mom? But she is…”

“Yeah not so much for a while now,” Dean interjected while sitting himself down on the end of the couch. “That’s a long story.”

“Are there any Winchester’s that stay dead?” you blurted while sitting yourself across from him in a steady recliner, feeling the tension radiating off of them by your words. You didn’t mean to say it, it just…came out. A lingering silence fulfilled the room before you spoke again. “So why do you think that is a picture of their safe house anyways. I mean it could be anywhere. It doesn’t exactly have ‘men of letters hideout shack’ written all over it.”

“Because we’ve seen it. We’ve been there. Hell, it’s our home,” Sam stated while moving to sit next to his brother. “The quote ‘There’s no place like home’ written on there, it’s a reference to the Wizard of Oz.”

“Yeah, so what? Next, you are going to tell me Dorothy is the leader,” you scoffed while shaking your head.

“Well she was definitely a part of it,” Dean replied while sitting himself back further into the cushions.

“Wait. Click your heels three times Dorothy? We’re not in Kansas anymore Dorothy?”

“Her father, L. Frank Baum wrote the stories, he was a member during his lifetime. She was trapped when she had followed him into Oz, so he left clues in his writings for her.,” Sam informed you calmly. “A couple of years ago we released her from her spell with the Wicked Witch, and as far as I know she is still in Oz. Our friend Charlie would have been able to explain this all so much better.”

Charlie rang in your ears, completely erasing the absurdity you had just heard about the Land of Oz existing and one of your favorite childhood stories. The image of her smiling face lighting up the room forced itself into the forefront of your mind. 

“Charlie Bradbury,” you mumbled while moving your face towards the ground. Dean and Sam’s eyes shot at you in confusion to how you could have possibly known. Feeling their eyes on you, you raised your head to meet their stares while giving an audible exhale. You got up to grab the old photo album that you had frantically searched and found earlier. Flipping through the pages you found the one that you were looking for. Hesitating in your steps you watched their curiosity grow for their unspoken question. Walking over to them, you held it open to Sam’s reach.

“Like I had said before, I’ve heard about you two from others.”

Sam’s eyes widened in shock as he looked at the old Polaroids. There was Charlie, with her signature full body smile and you equally as happy. Both dirty like you had just been in a fight, but cheerful nonetheless with pride of accomplishment shining through.  Feeling his brother trying to see what you had given him, he leaned the book over. Dean gulped hard while focusing on the pictures, his eyes shifting furiously over the photos. 

“There was a ghost not too far from where I lived,” you quietly uttered. “She came in looking for information from my mom and found me instead. We took it out together. Honestly, given the circumstances, it was one of the best hunts of my life.”

“Y/N, Charlie…” Sam started to speak with sorrow in voice.

“You don’t have to tell me, Sam. I know what happens on the job,” you interrupted while giving him a tight-lipped nod. Watching Dean still steading his eyes over the pages. “There is more too that you should probably know. Turn back a couple pages.” 

You could feel the emotions from earlier rising again within you as you watched him turn back the pages, stopping when he saw the familiar faces. His mouth dropping in disbelief. 

“Ash,” he whispered while leaning the filled pages to Sam. “Jo. Ellen… How is this possible?”

“Ash is a long story,” you chuckled lowly while remembering your oldest friend. “Basically we were friends in high school and stayed in contact well after. He would help me out with cases and things like that. He was actually one of the few people who knew about me and what I saw. I met Jo and Ellen when I was looking for him, finding her took up permeant residency at the Roadhouse.”

You could feel the emotions trying to push through your eyes as you spoke but you shook them off, putting on your best fake smile you could muster. Sam sat completely still lost in his thoughts, looking out to nothing in front of him. Holding onto the album tight, Dean looked up to you, his glossy eyes meeting yours.

“Y/N…I’m sorry.”

You shook your head before speaking up again. “I know, I mean… I already know what had happened to Ash from Ellen afterward. I kind of figured whatever was going on wouldn’t take long to catch up to the rest.”

“They died fighting,” Sam uttered, breaking out of his thoughts.

You shifted in your seat, feeling anger you had suppressed running through your veins as he said it, screaming at you to avenge your fallen friends by taking down the causes that sat comfort on your couch in front of you.  Your gut and your heart advising you to allow yourself to just sit in the silence, remembering the lives of the fallen with them. You chose the latter, while Dean now was sifting through the album, looking to see if there was more. The old-aged open letter fell out into his lap. You went to say something but the words written on it had already caught his attention. His eyes scanning it over and over while his brows furrowed, before looking up to you in disbelief. 

“I guess I was supposed to meet you a long time ago,” you quietly answered his unspoken question while exhaling back into your chair. “I couldn’t open it. I couldn’t bring myself to… not until today.”

Your anger quickly boiling over that you had worked so hard to hold back. It wasn’t just at them though, it was at yourself. If you had only been brave enough to read a god damned letter, so many things could have changed. Jo and Ellen might still be alive. Charlie would be here. Your dad? You might have actually gotten to know your real father, not just going off of others words, but actually known him. If you would have just opened the god damn letter your whole world could have changed.

Dean had handed the letter over to a curious Sam while you felt your heart beating fast and your muscles tighten as the rage grew inside of you. “Y/N, if we would have known…”

“Known what Dean?” you snapped. “That the people you drag into all of your shit have their own friends and family that you throw into danger?”

The words fell out like vomit, you had no control over them as they spilled out. His face dropped and eyes widened like you had just twisted a knife into his gut.

 “You know what Dean? Save all of your apologies. I don’t want to hear them.”

“You listen here princess,” he yelled while standing straight up in his spot, face turning dark red in the heat of his rage. “That is a part of the damn job. They knew what they were getting into. Every single one of them. We tried to save but they made their choices. Don’t you dare put all of this on me.”

You could feel your breathing turn rapid as you clenched your fist to punch time right in his perfect jaw as he spoke. Looking into darkened his eyes you could see the anger, sadness, and self-hatred all mixed hiding away behind them. A sea of tears trying to escape. You saw the truth in them, not only had you blamed him, but he was still blaming himself. Your words had cut open a wound that time had not healed. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to relax your muscles as it set in. 

“There is no point in this. In us yelling at each other,” you sighed, knowing that no matter what you did, the past could not be changed. Moving forward was the only option. “There have been tough choices that we all have made, that I know we all regret.” 

Sam and Dean both nodded their heads in agreement as you took in a deep breath and raised yourself to obtain another beer from the kitchen. Sam followed your lead, leaning on the counter while you popped the top off. He went to open his mouth to speak but you stopped him in his tracks.

“Not talking about it anymore Sam,” you said before taking a large gulp, downing almost half of the contents. You let out a low burp that made him quietly snicker, breaking the tension. “So what is up with the boy band you’re in? The lettermen.”

“The men of letters,” he corrected you as Dean walked in red-eyed, with an obvious tear stain on his cheek. He rubbed his face with both hands while Sam continued. “Basically there were like elite hunters. They complied almost every lore and spell book you could imagine.”

“Were?” you queried before taking another sip.

“Yeah, a bitch knight of hell, Abaddon, pretty much wiped out the membership in 1958,” Dean responded while grabbing for his own beer. “All that is really left is a few legacies, like Sam, me and well I guess now you too.”

“Our grandfather Henry Winchester was a member,” Sam added.

“Yeah, he was an alright guy. Kind of self-righteous,” Dean quipped. 

You pushed your head back in confusion, squinting your eyes to Dean. “He was? You just said she wiped them out.”

“Time travel spell,” Sam responded in seriousness. “He traveled to his next of kin in the future, escaping while luring her here.”

“Through the closet,” Dean chuckled while taking a sip of his beer.

“Anyways,” Sam continued. “He sacrificed himself to stop her, and that was just the beginning of a whole other mess.”

You stood there staring blankly at you beer bottle, frozen in your thoughts. Time traveling grandparents and demons. Resurrected parents. Secret hunters club. Fucking Wizard of Oz’s Dorothy, all things that were real and happened to them. You shook yourself out of your thoughts and finished your beer in a long gulp. 

“Well,” you clicked with your tongue as you pulled the empty bottle away from your lips. “I think you two would definitely be institutionalized if you ever admitted these things to other people.”

“Yeah, being honest usually gets us committed for a few days,” Sam laughed. You gave him a perplexed glare but shook it off instead of asking further questions. The clock behind him displaying the time that could not have possibly been right, making you jump to find your phone.

“Fuck what time is it?” you groaned while moving items out of your way in the search for it.

“It’s a little bit before 5,” Sam informed while looking at his watch.

“God damn time change,” you grunted. “Look, listen guys as much as I would love to sit here and have girl talk, I have less than two hours to get ready for a stupid faculty ball at the University. I also have no idea where half of the things I need are.”

“We can help you find them,” Sam offered, glancing over at his brother that looked lost in his thoughts.

“You really don’t…” you started to reply.

“We would be more than happy to,” Dean added, stopping you from speaking.

“Fine,” you breathed as you rolled your eyes and glanced at the boxes still full of miscellaneous contents behind him. “I need my curling iron, makeup, jewelry and black Manolo Blahnik’s.”

“What is a Manolo Blahnik?” Sam questioned in confusion.

“They’re high heeled shoes,” Dean informed while moving towards the living room. He turned himself back around once reaching an unopened box, meeting Sam and yours surprised stares. “What?”

“Nothing,” you scoffed as you walked past him to another box.

“So what exactly is this thing you are going to?” Sam asked while moving to his own spot amongst the stacks. 

“Basically a meet and greet amongst faculty members,” you answered while pulling away at the tape, revealing yet another box of books in front of you.

“Want some company,” Sam suggested. You gave him a puzzled look, questioning is motivations. “I mean being the new kid and not knowing anyone, might help to have friendly faces.”

You let out a short laugh, imagining yourself walking in with two handsome men head to toe in plaid and denim. “Unless you guys have a tux handy, I don’t think so.”

“I do,” Dean nonchalantly said while rummaging through his boxes contents of beauty products. 

“You do?” Sam and you questioned together in amazement.

“God how many bath beads and bombs do you have?”

________________________________________________________

“A lot. Now answer the question Dean,” Y/N commanded while folding her arms in front of her waiting for him to reply.

“What? So I have a tux in the car. You never know when you might need it for a case,” he answered while pulling out her curling iron from the bottom of the box. “One down.”

“And how often do you need a tux for a case?” she giggled while lifting and fumbling with another box to stifle through.

“You would be surprised,” he laughed, grabbing the box in Y/N’s hands to help her balance it. His eyes met hers in the motion as she mouthed a “thank you” that made his heart skip a beat. Just one look and he felt like a teenager again, sweaty and anxious about the future. What would ever become of this? Did she even feel something for him? Was he just wasting his time here?

That night, that amazing night that he found himself lying next to her, watching her chest rise and fall as she dreamed was one of the best moments he had in a long time. During the drive to her he played around with the thought of if things weren’t so complicated, for lack of a better word, he could see himself doing it every night. Just being with her. Hell, maybe the civilian life in a little house that he could escape the world with her in. 

While he pulled up to her house, he couldn’t help but smile at how it looked exactly as he imagined. The perfect spot for the perfect apple pie life. His smile fading as he remembered nothing about his life would ever be perfect. Not in this lifetime at least. The question of what the hell he was even trying to do or going to do shook up his nerves. He was actually grateful that Sam had been there or else he would have probably tucked in his tail and ran back home before even seeing her face again. 

She hadn’t been as spirited from the other night, maybe she had regretted everything that had happened. That thought made Dean sick to his stomach as he helped unpack the endless stacks of books. How drunk had she been? Did he take advantage of her? Oh God, did she want to gut him right where he stood? The worst possible thought flooded his mind until Sam snapped him out of it. The picture he held in his hands was so familiar like he had already seen it. When Sam spoke up he knew what he was looking at. Home. No place like it. 

His brother was looking to him for answers the same way he had all his life, only this time he didn’t have them. He knew what had to happen next, he had to find out what she knew. The world he wanted to keep away from her was breaking through. Her eyes searched for the details within her memories that only made the sickness in his stomach grow. His world had already met hers, and not only that his mother had brought it to her. As Sam and he spoke, he watched her carefully as she followed their words. Her eyes were searching for reason when she as questioned how it was her that she had brought it to her. A long story he did not want to talk about because the ending still frightened him. His mother could still be alive with Jack by her side in a world he may never be able to reach again. 

As a familiar name hit his ears his heart sank. Charlie. Although he had just seen her face in another world, it was not the real Charlie he had cared for, the one he was unable to protect. He could feel his heart beating faster as Y/N grabbed a book and shown his brother her past, one that included the bright smile on his friends face that he knew all too well as it still flashed in his memories. He felt his emotions burning inside of him, begging to come out when she told him to turn the pages. There they were, more of the family he had let down all those years ago. Ash, Ellen, and sweet Jo, the girl who sacrificed herself for him. His heart was now tearing into pieces.

A worn letter fell into his hands as he sat remembering, feeling the guilt that he tried to push back. Ash had sent her to them. If he had only known he would have found her one way or another if anything to honor his fallen friends' wishes for them to protect her. As he spoke he could see the anger inside of her push itself out as her words hit like acid. Out of instinct, he fought against them as his anger toward himself grew. He watched her face as his muscles tightened to attack her, she wasn’t scared. He saw it in her eyes, her anger still burning and seeing in his that he was as well. She could see it how it still haunted him, his past mistakes. The emotions in her eyes shifted as she watched him. She was still angry, but somehow she could read that he was too and she understood. Understood how the memories would keep him up at night, how given the job things happen to the ones you love, and how if he could take it all back, trading in his life for theirs he would. 

He watched her walk away with Sam following, a tear escaping down his cheek. How would she be able to forgive him when he could never forgive himself? He let out a deep sigh before following them. The subject already had changed as she asked more of her questions. Somehow she was able to push all the words that were said aside and allow herself to pretend that everything was normal. Nothing was nor ever would be normal, not with him around. 

Her smile gave him a sense of calm as they all spoke. She really was perfect. If there had been any chance at something more, surely all that had transpired erased them. Following her gaze to the clock, Dean knew he was running out of time he had with her. Sam offering for them to accompany her was his last shot before he knew she might be gone from him again. When she suggested that it was not going to happen unless they had a tux Dean jumped at his chance. This was it and he was not going to miss it.

“So what time should I be ready for our date?” Dean smiled coyly setting the box down from her grasp.

“Really, I’ll be fine,” she laughed as she tore through the tape to find her other lost items.

“Nonsense,” Dean stated. “You might need someone to carry you home after being bored to sleep all night.”

He watched as she rolled her eyes and chuckled, muttering a “fine” in defeat. He could feel his heart starting to beat faster, this was it. It was happening, and not only that he wouldn’t have Sam to lean on. No, it would just be her and him. The possibility of redemption from the past fueled him to work faster, tearing through the boxes and finding everything she needed. 

“Thanks,” she said while taking them from his hands. “There is an iron underneath the bathroom sink if you need it for your suit.”

Dean nodded as he looked over at Sam who had a smile raising in the corner of his mouth. This was the chance for Dean to find what he wanted, hell what he needed. There was no way he would let anything mess it up.

Y/N had disappeared into what Dean could only assume was her bedroom. He heard the water from a shower run as he went to Baby’s trunk for everything that he would need. While grabbing the garment bag that held the tux he glanced at all the tools that laid organized in front of him. Knives, guns, holy water, bombs and a whole lot of other tools he would usually reach for when going into the unknown. He shook his head as he pushed the trunk back shut. There was no need for any of it, at least not tonight.

After fixing himself in her bathroom mirror after changing, he walked out to have an approving nod from his brother that was short lived as Sam’s eyes moved to what was behind Dean. He turned his head and saw her standing there in a long low cut black dress with her hair falling on her shoulders in curls. Their eyes met as they both whispered that same word in unison, “Jesus”.

“Wait what?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Dean quickly replied as he pulled out Baby’s keys. “You ready to go.”

“Ah ah, Winchester, I do believe I said the next time I was driving,” she smiled while jiggling her keys in her hand.

Dean gave a low laugh while smiling as he followed her outside. He would do anything she told him to do to see her smile and tonight he would do exactly that. Butterflies now fluttering inside of him as they reached her car. She walked to the driver’s side making Dean move quickly on his feet.

“You know, as the guy I should at least drive,” he suggested while opening the door for her.

“No chance in hell Winchester,” she laughed before seating herself in.

Closing the door gently before walking himself around to the other side he felt his smile only growing wider. Nothing was going to ruin tonight. He wouldn’t let it. Everything was just going to be…perfect.

Keep reading to part nine here

Tags: @jaylarkson @waywardbaby @snffbeebee @iamabeautifulperson18 @19agbrown

[bamby0304]

The Hart II: Highway

Summary: Off on her own, without the Winchesters, Bobby, Ellen or Jo, Lizzie tries to get back to what she does best… hunting. But time is running out, Dean’s soul is on the line, and now everyone knows Lizzie is psychic like Sam. Can the brothers and Lizzie work through their problems? Or will they lose everything?

Bamby’s Masterlist The Hart Masterlist The Hart II: Highway Masterlist

Part Thirteen: Neck on the Line

Warnings: Normal stuff… angst, violence, Dean being a reckless a-hole.

Bamby

DPOV

Sam, Liz and I walked around the corner of an alleyway, flashlights in hand. Walking into the back alley of the abandoned buildings, we came to a pool of blood. Hurrying over, following the trail, we found a man lying on the floor, bleeding to death, his hand pressing to his neck where he'd been bitten.

"Hey, hey." Sam started as we knelt by the man. "Don't worry. We're gonna call you some help, okay?"

"Where is she?" I asked. "Where'd she go?"

The man lifted his hand, gesturing down the alley.

I gave Sam and Liz a nod, telling them to stay with the man while I headed off to find the monster that had did this to him and countless other victims.

There was some distance between the others and myself as I came to a stop in another alley way. Looking around, I had no idea which way to go in order to find the vampire. Willing to do whatever it takes, I lifted my arm and pulled my sleeve up before pressing the blade of my machete against my skin. Slowly and carefully, I cut myself, watching as blood began to drip to the floor.

"Smell that?!" I called out. "Come and get it!"

A woman, no older than Sam and Liz, came around the corner then. Only she wasn't a woman. She was a vampire.

Right on time.

Grinning smugly, I nodded at her. "That's right. Come on. I smell good, don't I? I taste even better."

She approached cautiously, looking to the machete in my hand.

Looking from her to my blade, I shrugged, dropping the weapon. "Come on! Free lunch!"

Charging at me, she grabbed my arms and lunged at my neck. I felt her teeth slide into my skin, causing a pain to shoot through me. Fighting against the pain, I managed to pull out a syringe and plunge it into her neck, emptying the contents into her system.

Coughing and shaking, she looked to me with wide eyes before she fell to the ground, unconscious.

Panting, I gave a little cheer. "Whoo!"

The sound of footsteps approaching had me look over to see Sam and Liz walking around the corner. Their eyes landed on the woman and then on my neck. A frown slowly grew on Sam's face as Liz rushed forward.

"You okay?" she asked tentatively, her hands grabbing my arm to check my cut before she looked to my bite.

"I'm fine," I assured her, gently pulling her hands back. Seeing Sam still frowning at me, I shrugged. "What?"

"Cutting it a little close, don't you think?"

I shook my head, not worried at all. The job was done, that's what mattered. "That's just chum in the water. Worked, didn't it?"

EPOV

While I stood with the brothers, looking down at the tied up, blonde vampire sitting in front of me, I vibrated with an internal rage and a shameful fear. I hated vampires. No one- except for Bobby, maybe- knew how much I hated vampires, and at the same time they terrified me.

Despite all the things I had to do in this line of work, vampires were the worst monsters I'd ever come across. Vampires, and demons. But then, they were the things that ripped my family away from me.

The vampire began to stir as she woke, slowly looking up at the three of us.

Dean leaned over her. "You with us?" Her only response was to fight and struggle against her bonds. "Oh, yeah, sorry. You're not going anywhere."

"Where's your nest?" Sam got straight to the point.

She looked up at him, confused. "What?"

"Your nest," Dean pressed. "Where you and your bloodsucking pals hang out."

She looked to each of us, seeming distressed, but it was an act. "I don't know what you're talking about." The brothers looked to each other as they rolled their eyes. "Please! I don't feel good."

Turning around, Dean grabbed a syringe of the table behind him, showing it to her. "Yeah, well, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot worse if we give you another shot of dead man's blood."

Shaking her head, she looked to the needle with fear. "Just let me go."

Sam laughed. "Yeah, you know we can't do that."

"I'm telling you the truth!" she exclaimed. "I'm just... I took something. I'm freaking out! I don't know what's going on!"

Shifting on the spot, Sam looked to her confused now. "You took something?"

"Yes! I can't come down. I just want to come down."

Leaning forward so he was at eye level with her, he asked, "What's your name?"

"Lucy. Please. Just let me go."

"All right, Lucy, how about this?" Sam started, his caring and nice voice in place of his hunter one. "If you tell us what happened, we'll let you go."

"You will? " she asked, looking over to Dean and me.

I looked to Dean, pissed. He nodded in an obviously insincere way while also offering a quick smile to the monster who then turned to me.

You have got to be kidding me. Sighing, I nodded, though didn't smile.

Taking a deep breath, she began to speak. "Uh, I don't really... um, it's, it's not that clear. I was at Spider."

"Spider?" Dean asked.

"The club, on Jefferson," she explained. "And there was this guy. He was buying me drinks."

Her story had my interest. If this guy was probably a vampire as well if he's the reason she turned. "What did he look like?"

"He was old, like thirty." She shrugged. The look on both the brother's faces didn't go unmissed by me. "He had brown hair, a leather jacket. Uh, Deacon or Dixon or something. Said he was a dealer. He had something for me."

There was a look in Dean's eyes as if he just realised what I'd figured out. "Something?"

"Something new. 'Better than anything you've ever tried'. He put a few drops in my drink."

"Was the drug red and thick?" When she nodded to his question Dean looked over to Sam and me as Sam shook his head in disbelief while my blood began to boil at the thought. "Well, genius move there. That was vampire blood he dosed you with."

Lucy turned to Dean sharply. "What?"

"Yeah, you just took a big steamin' shot of the nastiest virus out there."

"You're crazy! He gave me roofies or something!" Turning away she now looked to Sam again. "The next thing I know, we're at his place, and he says he's gonna get me something to eat, just wait. But I get so hungry."

"So you busted out?" Sam asked, but we all knew the answer.

She nodded. "But it won't wear off, whatever he gave me?"

"Let me guess," I sighed. "Lights are too bright. You can hear everything. Sunshine stings."

"Yeah." She nodded again. "And smells. And I can hear blood pumping."

Dean shook his head. "Well, I hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but your blood's never pumping again."

"Not mine." She looked to each of us. "Yours. I can hear a heart beating from half a block away." This was no act, she really had no idea what was happening to her. "I just want it to stop."

"All right, listen, Wavy Gravy," Dean started. "It's not going to stop. You've already killed two people, almost three."

"No, I couldn't," she sobbed. "No! I was hallucinating!"

"You weren't," I snapped, getting impatient. "You killed them, okay? You've left a trail of corpses for us to follow."

She shook her head, crying. "No. No, it wasn't real! It was the drug! Please! Please, you have to help me!"

A hand on my arm caught my attention. I looked to see Dean gesturing for me to follow as Sam started for the next room. The two of us were right behind him as Lucy continued to yell out to us.

Ignoring her, Sam sighed as he turned to Dean and I. "Poor girl."

"We don't have a choice."

"Dean's right. She's a vampire, we're hunters. If we don't do this she'll just keep killing." There was no emotion in my voice. I was being cold, I knew that. But vampires seemed to bring out the worst in me. "If you guys won't-"

I'd been about to turn to leave when Dean grabbed my arm again, stopping me. Looking up into his eyes I could see he was still in hunter mode, but I could also see wonder. The change in my attitude had him questioning what was up with me.

But instead of asking, he gave a short nod. "I'll do it."

Letting go of my arm, he walked into the room again. I watched as Lucy struggled against her ties, begging for him to let her go. But Dean simply grabbed the machete, and with moves he'd used many times before, swiftly decapitated her.

Her head landed on the ground with a thump.

Now that she was dead, I turned for the door and walked out, needing to calm myself down.

DPOV

Sam and I left the bar Lucy had told us about. The place was a buzz, so you'd think we would have found something, but no. We hadn't.

"That was a big, fat waste of time," I noted, frustrated, as we moved towards Liz who was leaning against a light post.

Sam sighed. "Look, three blondes have gone missing, including Lucy, all last sighted here. I'm telling you, Dean, this is the hunting ground."

As we reached Liz, she lifted her hand to point across the street. "Found him."

Looking over to where she was pointing, Sam and I could see a couple walking away from the bar and towards an alley. A thirty something man in a leather jacket and a young blonde woman.

I nodded. "Let's do this."

Pushing off the post, Liz turned to look at Sam and I. "We do this, I'm the one that gets to kill him." She left no room for questions, comments or arguments, because before we could speak she was already walking off.

...

Coming around the corner, we found the couple just in time as the man was about to feed the woman some blood from a dropper. Her mouth was open and ready, tongue sticking out. With a smile on her face, she was just as aware as Lucy had been.

Liz rushed forward first, grabbing the guy's arm and clocking him straight in the jaw.

"Hey!" the woman exclaimed.

But Sam and I were right there. "Get out of here. Go! Go!" Sam told her as he led her to the alley entrance while I turned to Liz.

Liz had been holding up her own against the vampire, but that didn't mean I was going to just stand there a leave her to it. So, without really thinking it through, I grabbed the vampire's jacket from behind and pulled him away from Liz before shoving him towards a wall.

He looked from her to me and right when I thought he was going to put up a fight, he made a break for it.

What the...?

"Come on!" Liz grabbed my arm before she started after the vampire, Sam and I right behind her.

Running down the alley, we came to a corner and rounded it as fast as we could. But as we made it to the other side we were made to come to a stop at the sight of Gordon Walker and Kubrick- one of the assholes who'd tried to kill Sam- standing right in front of us.

Gordon lifted his gun and I knew right then and there, he was going to kill all three of us.

But before he could pull the trigger, his gun flew across the alley way. That's when all eyes turned to Liz.

Shit.

EPOV

Gordon lifted his gun and before I realised what I was doing, I lifted my hand and sent the weapon flying across the alley.

In an instant, everyone turned to me. The brothers and I knew what this meant. I'd just shown Gordon that Sam wasn't the only 'psychic'. I might as well have screamed it out loud, because now, Gordon was going to kill me too.

Kubrick acted quickly, lifting his own gun and aiming it right at me.

"No!" Dean's arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me along with him until we were covered by a car in the alley.

Gun shots followed as Sam, Dean and I hid, moving to get to a wall in front of the car, so we had more cover. More shots started and I knew Gordon would have grabbed his gun back. Things weren't looking too good for us...

Looking around the corner briefly, Dean then turned to Sam and I, panting, "All right. Run. I'll draw them off."

"What?! No, you're crazy!"

I shook my head. "Sam's right. You won't make it."

But Dean ignored both of us as he darted out and into the line of fire, running across the alley and over to another car which he jumped onto before jumping over a fence. Kubrick ran after him, hot on his trail.

"Come on." Sam grabbed my hand as he got up but stayed low.

Every fibre in my being was screaming to stay, to go after Dean, to make sure he was okay. But at the same time, I didn't want to leave Sam, not if there was a chance Gordon would get him.

With a reluctant nod, I let Sam pull me along as we got out of there as fast as we could.

SPOV

I paced in the room. We were staying in an abandoned hotel, our room filled with old mattresses and a few other furniture pieces. I guess deciding to stay off the grid had been a good idea, of Gordon might have found us earlier...

The door to the room opened as Dean walked in.

Having been sitting on a mattress on the floor, Lizzie pulled herself up at the sight of my brother. "Where the hell were you?!"

He seemed completely unconcerned by our worry. "Yeah. Sorry, I stopped for a slice."

I shook my head at him. "Nice move you pulled back there, Dean, running right at the weapons!"

"Well, what can I say? I'm a bad-ass." he grinned, tugging his jacket off. "So, I guess Gordon's out of jail."

"You think?" Lizzie rolled her eyes at him.

That reminded me of the million questions I'd been stewing on. "You know, how the hell did he know where to find us?"

It took a second before Dean's grin slipped as he seemed to realise something. "That bitch." Pulling his cell out of his pocket, he dialled in a number before putting it on speaker. "Hi, Bela."

"Hello, Dean." We could hear the smile in her voice.

"Question for you," Dean started as he began to pace. "When you called me yesterday, it wasn't to thank me for saving your ass, was it?"

Without hesitating, she answered as if there weren't a care in the world for her. "No. Gordon Walker paid me to tell him where you were."

Her answer had Dean pause. "Excuse me?"

She laughed lightly. "Well, he had a gun on me. What else was I supposed to do?"

Lizzie took the phone out of Dean's hand then. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe you could have picked up the phone and given us a heads up?!" she yelled. "Let us know that a psychotic killer was headed our way?!"

"I did fully intend to call, I just got a bit side-tracked." Bela just didn't seem to care.

"He tried to kill us!" Dean and Lizzie yelled at the same time, speaking into the phone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was such big deal. After all, there are three of you and one of him."

Dean shook his head at the phone. "There were two of them."

"Still, they were outnumbered-"

Cutting her off, Dean took the phone back from Liz. "Bela, if we make it out of this alive, the first thing I'm gonna do is kill you."

The smile in her voice was gone as Bela spoke, "You're not serious."

"Listen to his voice, Bela. You think he's serious?" Lizzie didn't even give her a chance to respond before she took the phone from Dean again and hung up.

EPOV

Sam was standing by the window, keeping an eye out while Dean and I sat at the table. Dean was cleaning his gun while I sharpened a machete.

Looking over to the younger Winchester, I made sure he was preoccupied before I leaned over to Dean and spoke in a faint voice so only he could hear me. "Don't ever run off like that again, okay?"

A grin played on the corner of his lips. "You worried about me, Liz?"

"Yes," I snapped. "Of course I am. I care about you, Dean."

He stopped working on his gun and turned to me. "I couldn't sit there and do nothing. You and Sam needed a way out, I gave it to you."

"You could have died."

He shrugged. "I thought it was pretty obvious by now. If I have to die to keep you and Sam safe, then I'll do it."

"And I thought it was pretty clear that Sam and I don't want you dying for us," I countered, feeling an anger start to bubble inside me.

I didn't have much of a family for the past eight years. Yes, I had Bobby, Ellen, Jo and Ash, but sticking around wasn't exactly something I was known for. The longest I was ever at the Roadhouse was a month or two. With Bobby, I was stuck with him for a bit longer because he didn't like the idea of a minor hunting on their own. But once I was eighteen I tried not to stay in one place too long.

Dean and Sam, they meant a lot to me and if anything were to happen to them I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle it. Sam was the brother I never had, and Dean... well he was a little more complicated.

"Guys, that vampire's still out there," Sam noted.

Pulling he gaze from me, Dean turned to his brother. "First things first."

"Gordon," I finished.

"When we find him, or if he finds us." Dean shrugged. "Well I'm just saying he's not leaving us a whole lot of options."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I know. We've got to kill him."

That surprised me. Sam was always the one to give people chances. To decide to kill Gordon, just like that, and to say the words so calmly... it just didn't feel like a thing Sam would do, say, or even think.

"Really?" Dean sounded just as surprised as I felt. "Just like that? I thought you would have been like, 'No, we can't, he's human, it's wrong'," he spoke the last part with a mocking tone, mimicking Sam's voice.

Sam shook his head. "No, I'm done. I mean, Gordon's not gonna stop until we're dead. Or until he is."

Dean phone began to ring then. He picked it up off the table and took one look at the caller ID before scowling as he answered it angrily. "What?!"

"I don't like it when people hold grudges against me, and more to the point, I'd rather you didn't kill me. So, I went ahead and found Gordon's exact location for you," Bela spoke quickly, clearly trying to save herself.

"You're a hundred miles away. How the hell did you-"

She cut Dean off, going on. "Hello? Purveyor of powerful occult objects. I used a talking board to contact the other side."

I sighed. "Get to the point, Bela."

"Warehouse. Two stories, riverfront, neon sign outside."

"Thanks." Dean went to hang up when her voice stopped him.

"One more thing. The spirit had a message for you. 'Leave town, run like hell, and whatever you do, don't go after Gordon.' For whatever that's worth." With that, she hung up, leaving the three of us to wonder what the hell that meant.

DPOV

Sam was ahead as Liz and I followed him down a flight of stairs, a trail of blood lead us further and further into the warehouse. We'd come to a furnished room where the vampire knelt on the ground in front of two bodies that hung from the roof by their tied wrists.

Once we were off the stairs I spotted a knife on the table and silently told Liz and Sam that I was grabbing it before I did just that.

"Go ahead," the vampire spoke, keeping his back to us. "Do it. Kill me."

"What happened here?" Sam asked, keeping the Colt aimed at the vampire.

"Gordon Walker." The tension in the vampire's voice let us know how he felt about the hunter. "I never should have brought a hunter here. Never," he sighed, getting to his feet. "I just..." He slowly turned to us. "I just wanted some kind of revenge. So stupid, exposing him to my family."

I shook my head at him. "Oh, yeah, you're such a family man."

"You don't understand."

"And we don't care." Liz glared at him.

But he just ignored her. "I was desperate! You ever felt desperate?" Yes... "I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?"

"Well, there's Hell." I couldn't keep the attitude out of my voice.

"I wasn't thinking." The vampire's voice shook. "I just ... I didn't care anymore. Do you know it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like... it's like being dead already. So just go ahead. Do it."

The whole time he was talking, I couldn't help but relate. Everything he said, it's how I felt when Liz and Sam had died. It's why I made the deal in the first place. I didn't want to be alone, just like he hadn't...

While the vampire had been talking Sam had inched closer and closer to the bodies. Now standing next to them, he turned to Liz and myself. "Guys. Head wasn't cut off, it was ripped off. With someone's bare hands."

Liz- who still stood next to me- turned to the vampire. "What did you do? Dixon, what did you do to Gordon?" When the vampire simply began to silently cry, refusing to answer, Liz stepped closer to him. "What did you do?!"

Slowly, he turned to look down at her. "I turned him."

There was a short pause as we all realised what this meant. Gordon was hard to beat while he was human. How were we supposed to beat him now? Vampires were difficult while at their worst, but Gordon was a well-trained hunter and knew his pray. We didn't stand a chance.

Liz lifted her machete so fast none of us had a chance to react before she cut the blade through the air and decapitated the vampire in one swift move.

Bamby

[makebelievetimeformymind]

Don’t believe me, ask him. Part 3

Characters: Dean & Sam Winchester, Jaslyn (OFC), Silas (OMC), Reese (OFC), Crowley

 Word count: 2,523

 Summary: After skipping town after town Jaslyn finally found one she could see herself settle in. For awhile that is at least. Only for the normal supernatural life to follow her there due to her normal old habits always catching up to her. She didn’t see this coming a million miles away though. Was her luck about to change for the better or was she gonna be stuck packing up going off on the run again? Only this time with the Winchester's on her trail?

 Warning: (Not too sure what all to put here) Language, speaking of drug use and alcohol, simple flirting, (18+ only), this one don’t apply too much for this one but there's no telling what may come.

 A/N: I do not own supernatural or any of it's characters besides the OFC's I have created. Do not repost my work anywhere without my permission please. That is if it is even good enough for such wanting. This is my first try at any fan fiction writing. Please be honest with how you feel about it. The only way to get better in my mind is by taking others opinion's into thought. Unless it's just hate crap, then save it for the birds.

Master List

Tags: @soythedemonqueen  @dragongirl420  @srj1990 @deathly-smirk  @sofreddie @hyphymanatee  @ellen-reincarnated1967  @chelsea072498 @neganswinchesters

Update:: shout out to @soythedemonqueen​ for the Aesthetic, forgot to leave the credit! All other gifs were found through google.

anybody wanting to added, let me know!

Don’t Believe me, ask him Part 3

Walking out of the blood bank I spotted Dean and Sam outside leaning on the impala. ‘How fucken sexy is she?’ I couldn’t help my eye ball the whole car, not even paying attention to the guys looking back and forth to each other with wide eyes.

“Like what you see, huh?” Dean voice lingering getting his words out.

“Yessir, I sure do” I said, switching my eyes from the car to him. The shine in his eyes were unreal. My heart fluttered, again.

“Get in doll, we’re gonna take a classic today. Not that ricer you be driving.” He chuckled out loud.

Rolling my eyes I slid into the back seat. I couldn’t lie about how this car was a wet dream to myself but I wasn’t gonna let him know such knowledge. Dean drove us to a small café down the road close to the bar we first encountered each other at. There aren’t too many places to go around here being such a small town.

As we were walking into the café the waitress perked her head up from her phone and laid eyes upon Dean first. She slowly made her way to Sam and never once looked at me. Her eyes lit up with joy as she glanced back at Dean but once I made her line of vision her face went sour.

“Hello, my name is Reese and will be your waitress for the afternoon. What may I get y’all to drink?” She was trying to sound sweet. Handing us our menus her eyes never left Dean’s face but to look his arms up and down. He paid no attention to her drools just looked over at me. Sam’s eyes switched back and forth between Dean and me sitting next to each other and back to the bimbo with a smile. I glanced at Sam then back to Dean, who was already looking back at her and slowly to the waitress with a cheesy smile.

“A beer for me and”, Dean nodded over at me “whatever she wants.” Reese looked down at her pad waiting for to answer.

“Water, with lemon please on the side, lots of it please.”

“Sweet ice tea with lemon.”

“Okay, I will be right back with those drinks.” She said, getting one good smile in at Dean before spinning around to walk away.

I looked over at Sam waiting on one of them to bring up the reason we were here to start with. I could only hope I wasn’t about to put myself in between a rock and a hard place.

“Sooo, who is gonna start this awkward conversation were about to have.” I said, winking at Sam.

“Uh, well. I guess I will.” Sam sat up some to straighten his back placing his hand folded in front of him. “Jaslyn, there were blood bank donation bags found next to a girl half drained. There is only one blood bank in this area-”

“and you work at it.” Dean chimed in. I switched back and forth trying to look clueless. ‘Fucking A’

My heart started to race. Silas still hadn’t said anything to me so I’m flying solo here. Feeling a lump in my chest I try my best to think of anything to say.

“And?” I turned my body towards Dean leaning against the wall to look him right in the eyes. Reese was on her way back with our drinks thank god.

“Now, what may I get ya’ll to eat?” She said, after sitting our drinks down without any lemon. “What about you handsome?” Looking at Dean she flashed her dimples.

“Uh, excuse,” Expecting her to at least look at me, I kept talking, “I asked for lots of lemon on the side and my buddy here also asked for some.” I started out sounding decently nice but by the end my tone was annoyed because she wasn’t paying any attention. I could see Sam looking at me out of the corner of my eye and Dean turning to look too. She finally took her eyes off him when no one was looking at her but me. “Lemon, please…” Giving her a sassy smirk showing my own dimples she narrowed her eyes at me and walked away.

“Rude much?” Dean chuckled out. “You didn’t have to bite her head off”

“Maybe if she could drool and do her job correctly at the same time there would have been no need for me to be short.” Making a snorting sound I shrugged my shoulders. Shortly after getting that out my mouth she was back with my lemon. “Thank you, ma’am”

“May I get ya’ll something to eat?” Her attention was still only on Dean. The rumors about women loving him were sure true.

“I don’t know about these two here but I could go for the house burger and fries.” Dean answered without even looking at the menu.

Sam shook his head, “I’m gonna pass and just stick to my drink.” She was finally making her way around the table, vision wise.

I wasn’t too sure if I felt like eating or not. Not being medicated messed with my appetite and since they picked me up I wasn’t able to smoke my daily lunch blunt. She was focused on me waiting with her pen in hand and pad in the other, pen flopping slightly and eyebrows lifted with impatience. “My apologies, I didn’t have a chance to look because of the guys here.” Opening the menu I could hear her let out a sigh. “Let me get the cheese sticks with marinara.”

“Okay then, house burger with fries and an order of cheese sticks,” adding a bit of sass, “Correct?”

“Try not to forget the marinara with it.” I mentioned with my own amount of sass as she started to walk away.

“Do you two know each other?” Sam asked with curiosity in his voice turning his head sideways slightly.

Dean shifted his shoulders toward me and placed his arm on the back of the booth. “Yeah, vibes between you feels like there’s some history. You steal her boyfriend or something? Girl…? I never got an answer about that the other night by the way…” His smile made my heart jump some.

‘Dude, what the fuck’

Chuckling I took a sip of my water and started squeezing the lemons in it. Sam and Dean were waiting on me to respond but I just kept mixing my lemon water trying to make it stronger.

“Because that would be super hot and we may even have a friend that would interes-“

“Dean, Charlie doesn’t need you playing match maker and I’m sure Jaslyn don’t need your help either.” Sam busted out laughing to his brother’s face expression. Dean bunched up his nose and rolled his eyes.

“It’s nothing like that.. She is my best friend’s ex.” I said, like it was nothing. It was nothing. Silas was my best friend and for the last 6 months that’s all he had been, a friend. They were broken up before I moved to this town. “They had some falling out shortly before I moved here, couldn’t tell ya what over. All I know is they broke up and to her I’m the reason. She thinks we’re banging. I’m the home wrecker” I said, using quotation marks with my fingers for home wrecker. ‘Sure, let me tell you all about my soul selling best friend I met during take your daughter to work day’

A few moments later she brought our food correctly to us and went on her merry way to check on other tables.

“Back to why we asked you to speak to us,” Sam trying to change the subject he leaned in over the table, “Have you noticed any strange activities around the office or around town?”

“Strange like how?” I raised my eyes brows and him.

“Well, for starters there have been 3 dead bodies found drained of their blood. They all had IV marks in the arm but for one. Renee Jenkins was found sliced up with no IV marks along with a bag from your job.” Dean said, picking up his burger.

My heart started to tighten. “I didn’t know about any murder until I saw the photos you had at the bar. As far as the other’s, I don’t watch the news for that reason right there. I already know how fucked up it is up here so why bother?”

“Up here?” They both caught what I said and tilted their heads at me. “What do yo-“ both at the same time again.

“Hold on Sammy.” Dean said, sitting his burger down. “What do you mean by up here?”

‘Quick Jas, think... THINK.’

“You don’t believe in heaven and hell?” Lifting my head up in confidence I looked back and forth into their eyes. Showing no sign of worry on my face the best I could I dipped my cheese stick and took a huge bite. Dean already had half his burger down. “Or do you believe the whole hell on earth shit?”

“Oh no... There is a hell for sure.”

“You speak like you have some sort of experience in that area.”

“Jaslyn, who all works at the clinic?” Once again, Sam was trying to keep us all on track. Dean was eye balling me.

“There’s me, my boss, who’s the manager and the two nurses that take the blood. That’s it.” With bags being found, me not being able to do my weekly count and not going through the fanny pack before coming back to work I have no way of telling if the bag was mine or not. But deep in my heart something is telling me Silas didn’t do this now. Nothing is adding up. The first two people, whoever they are, could possibly been Silas, even then I know he wouldn’t kill someone, but this chick they are asking about now couldn’t be. The moment they said she was sliced up I knew it wasn’t him.

“Who is in charge of inventory?”

“That would be me.” I said raising my hand to the waitress since she hadn’t been back around since bringing our food. She saw me and rolled her eyes.

Dean had already finished his burger by the time she made it to us. I hadn’t ate a whole cheese stick but my lunch break was about over so it didn’t matter. “Can I get a to-go carry out?”

The boys looked at their watches. They must have forgotten I was on a lunch break and had a job to get back to while they were working on their own.

“Sorry dudes. Is there any way we can finish this in the car. I need to start heading back.”

As we paid our bill Reese spoke loudly, “Ya’ll be sure to come on back and see me ya hear.” Smiling her fake grin she turned to me. “I sure hope Silas knows you’re out with two strangers having lunch.”

“Nah, but I know you will be sure to let him know for me.” Walking out the front door I could hear her start to say something under her breath but couldn’t make it out so I turned back around. “Be sure to tell him I rode in their car too. It’s a classic. He ass would almost love it as much as me.” I hollered over my shoulder laughing. 

Sam and Dean followed me out to the parking lot laughing their heads off. “Are you sure you didn’t steal anything from her?” This time it was Sam questioning me. “From the sounds of it you di-“

“I already told ya’ll I didn’t take shit from her.” I said, opening my door sliding into the middle of the back seat. “I’ma level with ya’ll… but I gotta know mister beer-thirty I needs to smoke before getting back to work, are you gonna let me or what?”

Dean eyed me through the rear view mirror. Sam tilted his head toward his smiling brother. “Don’t you burn anything back there ma’am”

Sam’s eyes grew huge with shock. “The man who doesn’t let dogs in here is gonna let a chick smoke a j?”

“Shut your pie hole, Sammy.”

Giggling I pull my pre-rolled blunt out and roll my window down some. Sparking it I finished. “So, as I was saying…. I’ma level with ya’ll. This morning my boss told me not to worry about the baggy count. Just told me to send out my normal doings and off into his office he went.”

Dean looked over at Sam.

“Anyhow,” I said, exhaling the thick smoke. “I been working there going on five months and I’ve always done the count and ordered what we needed ‘til today.”

We were almost back to the clinic by now and I hadn’t even got to smoke half. ‘I’ma have to go through that pouch’

“Think you could try and do a count for us. It would be a huge solid.” Sam was turned all the way around now facing me. “Please, Jaslyn. Something in my heart is telling me you have nothing to do with all of this. That you’re just a girl working at a place that just happens to be the focus of something not natural.”

‘Yeah, maybe not this… but.. still. You silly boys’

Pulling into the parking lot I slung my purse over my shoulder and dabbed the blunt out on the bottom of my shoe. “I can’t make any promises. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you Jaslyn. So much.” Sam said as I got out.

“Can I get your number? You know, in case we need to be in touch. Well, we do really..” Dean grinned at me showing those lovely whites. Those dimples were to die for.

“I mean, I suppose ya’ll can have it to be in touch.”

Sam let out a loud laugh, “I like her.”

I walked over and took the cell from Dean’s hand, “I do too.” He smoothly said, winking at me.

“Call me later Sir. If I don’t pick up I’ll call you back when able.” Before I could make it to my desk I was getting a call on my cell. ‘Dean already?’

My heart was jumping with joy until I saw the name.

“Yes, Father?” With my voice full of sass, “How may I help you today? Anybody needing any talking’s to so you can grasp their desperate souls?”

“Mock me how you please but no daughter of mine will be associating with the Winchesters.”

Sitting down in front of my computer I kicked my purse under the desk glanced at my boss’s office door. “Look, I do not have time for this. There are far more important things I have going on compared to you being worried about how you may look in front of other. Others who ar-“

“The daughter of the King of hell cannot and will not be hanging out with the Winchest-“

“Well, I suppose it’s a good thing there aren’t many who even know of me, huh!”

Word Count: 2,523

[newstfionline]

Facing poverty, academics turn to sex work and sleeping in cars

By Alastair Gee in San Francisco, The Guardian, 28 September 2017

There is nothing she would rather do than teach. But after supplementing her career with tutoring and proofreading, the university lecturer decided to go to remarkable lengths to make her career financially viable.

She first opted for her side gig during a particularly rough patch, several years ago, when her course load was suddenly cut in half and her income plunged, putting her on the brink of eviction. “In my mind I was like, I’ve had one-night stands, how bad can it be?” she said. “And it wasn’t that bad.”

The wry but weary-sounding middle-aged woman, who lives in a large US city and asked to remain anonymous to protect her reputation, is an adjunct instructor, meaning she is not a full-time faculty member at any one institution and strings together a living by teaching individual courses, in her case at multiple colleges.

“I feel committed to being the person who’s there to help millennials, the next generation, go on to become critical thinkers,” she said. “And I’m really good at it, and I really like it. And it’s heartbreaking to me it doesn’t pay what I feel it should.”

Sex work is one of the more unusual ways that adjuncts have avoided living in poverty, and perhaps even homelessness. A quarter of part-time college academics (many of whom are adjuncts, though it’s not uncommon for adjuncts to work 40 hours a week or more) are said to be enrolled in public assistance programs such as Medicaid.

They resort to food banks and Goodwill, and there is even an adjuncts’ cookbook that shows how to turn items like beef scraps, chicken bones and orange peel into meals. And then there are those who are either on the streets or teetering on the edge of losing stable housing. The Guardian has spoken to several such academics, including an adjunct living in a “shack” north of Miami, and another sleeping in her car in Silicon Valley.

The adjunct who turned to sex work makes several thousand dollars per course, and teaches about six per semester. She estimates that she puts in 60 hours a week. But she struggles to make ends meet after paying $1,500 in monthly rent and with student loans that, including interest, amount to a few hundred thousand dollars. Her income from teaching comes to $40,000 a year. That’s significantly more than most adjuncts: a 2014 survey found that the median income for adjuncts is only $22,041 a year, whereas for full-time faculty it is $47,500.

Recent reports have revealed the extent of poverty among professors, but the issue is longstanding. Several years ago, it was thrust into the headlines in dramatic fashion when Mary-Faith Cerasoli, an adjunct professor of Romance languages in her 50s, revealed she was homeless and protested outside the New York state education department.

“We take a kind of vow of poverty to continue practicing our profession,” Debra Leigh Scott, who is working on a documentary about adjuncts, said in an email. “We do it because we are dedicated to scholarship, to learning, to our students and to our disciplines.”

Adjuncting has grown as funding for public universities has fallen by more than a quarter between 1990 and 2009. Private institutions also recognize the allure of part-time professors: generally they are cheaper than full-time staff, don’t receive benefits or support for their personal research, and their hours can be carefully limited so they do not teach enough to qualify for health insurance.

This is why adjuncts have been called “the fast-food workers of the academic world”: among labor experts adjuncting is defined as “precarious employment”, a growing category that includes temping and sharing-economy gigs such as driving for Uber. An American Sociological Association taskforce focusing on precarious academic jobs, meanwhile, has suggested that “faculty employment is no longer a stable middle-class career”.

The struggle to stay in housing can take many forms, and a second job is one way adjuncts seek to buoy their finances. The professor who turned to sex work said it helps her keep her toehold in the rental market.

“This is something I chose to do,” she said, adding that for her it is preferable to, say, a six-hour shift at a bar after teaching all day. “I don’t want it to come across as, ‘Oh, I had no other choice, this is how hard my life is.’”

Advertising online, she makes about $200 an hour for sex work. She sees clients only a handful of times during the semester, and more often during the summer, when classes end and she receives no income.

“I’m terrified that a student is going to come walking in,” she said. And the financial concerns have not ceased. “I constantly have tension in my neck from gritting my teeth all night.”

To keep their homes, some adjuncts are forced to compromise on their living space.

Caprice Lawless, 65, a teacher of English composition and a campaigner for better working conditions for adjuncts, resides in an 1100 sq ft brick house near Boulder, Colorado. She bought it following a divorce two decades ago. But because her $18,000 income from teaching almost full time is so meager, she has remortgaged the property several times, and has had to rent her home to three other female housemates.

“I live paycheck to paycheck and I’m deeply in debt,” she said, including from car repairs and a hospitalization for food poisoning.

Like every other adjunct, she says, she opted for the role thinking it would be a path to full-time work. She is so dependent on her job to maintain her living situation that when her mother died this summer, she didn’t take time off in part because she has no bereavement leave. She turned up for work at 8 a.m. the next day, taught in a blur and, despite the cane she has used since a hip replacement, fell over in the parking lot.

If she were to lose her home her only hope, she says, would be government-subsidized housing.

“Most of my colleagues are unjustifiably ashamed,” she said. “They take this personally, as if they’ve failed, and I’m always telling them, ‘you haven’t failed, the system has failed you.’”

Even more desperate are those adjuncts in substandard living spaces who cannot afford to fix them. Mindy Percival, 61, a lecturer with a doctorate from Columbia, teaches history at a state college in Florida and, in her words, lives in “a shack” which is “in the woods in middle of nowhere”.

The mobile home she inhabits, located in the town of Stewart, north of Miami, was donated to her about eight years ago. It looks tidy on the outside, but inside there are holes in the floor and the paneling is peeling off the walls. She has no washing machine, and the oven, shower and water heater don’t work. “I’m on the verge of homelessness, constantly on the verge,” she said.

Percival once had a tenure-track job but left to care for her elderly mother, not expecting it would be impossible to find a similar position. Now, two weeks after being paid, “I might have a can with $5 in change in it.” Her 18-year-old car broke down after Hurricane Irma, and she is driven to school by a former student, paying $20 a day for gas.

“I am trying to get out so terribly hard,” she said.

Homelessness is a genuine prospect for adjuncts. When Ellen Tara James-Penney finishes work, teaching English composition and critical thinking at San Jose State University in Silicon Valley, her husband, Jim, picks her up. They have dinner and drive to a local church, where Jim pitches a tent by the car and sleeps there with one of their rescue dogs. In the car, James-Penney puts the car seats down and sleeps with another dog. She grades papers using a headlamp.

Over the years, she said, they have developed a system. “Keep nothing on the dash, nothing on the floor--you can’t look like you’re homeless, you can’t dress like you’re homeless. Don’t park anywhere too long so the cops don’t stop you.”

James-Penney, 54, has struggled with homelessness since 2007, when she began studying for her bachelor’s degree. Jim, 64, used to be a trucker but cannot work owing to a herniated disk. Ellen made $28,000 last year, a chunk of which goes to debt repayments. The remainder is not enough for afford Silicon Valley rent.

At night, instead of a toilet they must use cups or plastic bags and baby wipes. To get clean, they find restrooms and “we have what we call the sink-shower”, James-Penney said. The couple keep their belongings in the back of the car and a roof container. All the while they deal with the consequences of ageing--James-Penney has osteoporosis--in a space too small to even stand up.

James-Penney does not hide her situation from her class. If her students complain about the homeless people who can sometimes be seen on campus, she will say: “You’re looking at someone who is homeless.”

“That generally stops any kind of sound in the room,” she says. “I tell them, your parents could very well be one paycheck away, one illness away, from homelessness, so it is not something to be ashamed of.”

For Rebecca Snow, 51, an adjunct who quit teaching after a succession of appalling living situations, there is a sense of having been freed, even though finances continue to be stressful.

She began teaching English composition at a community college in the Denver area in 2005, but the poor conditions of the homes she could afford meant she had to move every year or two. She left one place because of bedbugs, another when raw sewage flowed into her bathtub and the landlord failed to properly fix the pipes.

Sometimes her teenage son would have to stay with her ex-husband when she couldn’t provide a stable home. Snow even published a poem about adjuncts’ housing difficulties.

In the end she left the profession when the housing and job insecurity became too much, and her bills too daunting. Today she lives in a quiet apartment above the garage of a friend’s home, located 15 miles outside Spokane, Washington. She has a view of a lake and forested hills and, with one novel under her belt, is working on a second.

Teaching was the fantasy, she said, but life on the brink of homelessness was the reality.

“I realized I hung on to the dream for too long.”

[matchingvnecks]

Andrew Rannells: Girls’ Best Friend

As Girls enters its finale season, we visit its resident gay best friend Andrew Rannells for a look at how his career has evolved — along with his character on the hit series.

There’s no missing Andrew Rannells. From the instant he strides onstage in the current Broadway revival of Falsettos, you’ll notice that, at 6’1”, he towers over his costars. Put his bearded face on a product, and it would move a mountain of Brawny towels or sell enough cans of Manwich to feed an army. Clean-shaven — as Rannells is onstage tonight — he radiates a post-fratboy glow that still find him playing parts a decade younger than his 38 years. Rannells’ evolution from fresh to familiar face has been like watching an languid summer afternoon roll by. He’s gracefully lept from Promise Ring roles like Elder Price, which he originated in the hit musical The Book of Mormon, to more acerbic characters like Elijah, the one-man Greek chorus who appears to pamper (then puncture) the inflated egos of the galpals who populate the beloved HBO series, Girls. It’s not easy, he says, but “I know my skill set and my strengths. I just do what I do.” Stage vs. Screen In demand on two coasts, Rannells has a Red Bull-binge awareNess that this is his moment, and he’s determined to make the most of it. Much of the time, he ricochets from sitcom sets to the stages of Broadway stage. These days he’s wrapping up Girls’ sixth and final season. Between that and Falsettos, Rannells briefly stepped in to play King George in Hamilton when Jonathan Groff left to finish the Looking film finale. One can’t help but wonder how long Rannells thinks it’s possible to maintain this bustling bi-coastal, multi-media lifestyle — and whether one career path must ultimately win out. ”Well, theater will always be nearest and dearest,” Rannells muses. “It’s where I feel most comfortable and in control and happiest.” He knows it’s rare to be in such demand that he can pick and choose between theater and TV projects. But his coworkers and representation have long become accustomed to Rannell’s need to alternate between screen and stage: “They understand,” he says with certainty. “I need this to recharge.” Despite living in a maelstrom of activity, Rannells remains remarkably polite, grateful and calm. Why? “I’m fortunate to be a gay man at a time when there are great roles to play,” he explains. “I’ve been lucky that way, because I have no issue playing gay men — since I am one — as long as there’s a good script. You just have to find the right ones.” Finding His People Rannells attributes his breezy optimism to his Irish/Polish origins in Omaha, Nebraska, where he was born fourth of five children. Neither oldest nor youngest, Rannells had to distinguish himself somehow; theater quickly became his ticket out of obscurity. “I was not initially very outgoing,” he admits, “but through my involvement with theater, I gradually became more comfortable. “I do remember back in kindergarten I developed a strange little clique that lasted up through eighth grade,” he says, flashing that megawatt smile. “Three guys who eventually came out as gay. Obviously that was a godsend, because they were accepting of me and I of them — even though being gay was never openly spoken about. It was, somehow, something we understood between the three of us. I mean, I remember lip-syncing to Cher in my friend’s basement.” Rannells attended an all-boys Catholic high school where “it took me a second to find my people. But eventually I made a great group of friends, some of whom I’m still in touch with,” he recalls. “While it was all-male, it was also a Jesuit school, where the teachings are ones of acceptance and there’s a lot of room for interpretation of the scriptures.” As a teen, Rannells became a familiar fixture on local stages, and by 18 he’d landed a string of voice-over parts and a commercial spoofing Grease opposite a young Amy Adams. But New York was always tugging at his sleeve, and so — with little more than the zeal to perform — Rannells moved East and began parlaying his voiceover experience into directing cartoons for Fox and Warner Brothers. “I did Sonic the Hedgehog,” he laughs, “along with many others. I directed the voiceover portion. So there I was at 23, trying to get performances out of actors making these Saturday morning cartoons and trying to sync to the originals when we dubbed them over from Japanese.” At the same time, the sense of treading water gnawed at him, until finally something snapped, he says. “I was going deeper and deeper into debt; so I thought I’d see if could just get anywhere by auditioning.” Rannells quit school and began seeing casting agents.

Saying “Hello!” to Broadway In 2002, Rannells was cast to play the title role in an Austin, Texas production of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. The show was a runaway hit and quickly ballooned from a four-week to a four-month run. He walked away with the local scene’s award for best actor in a musical. That was heartening, but only a hint of things to come. “My big break,” Rannells always says, “came from Hairspray.” “I was an understudy for nine months — then to get to be a lead on Broadway was something amazing.” By then, Hairspray was already in its third year; so although he could finally call himself a Broadway song-and-dance man, Rannells wasn’t exactly hot on the radar of industry professionals who could put him in bigger parts. His whole universe shifted again when the actor learned about a hush-hush project being assembled by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. Rannells says he landed the lead in The Book Of Mormon the old fashioned way: by auditioning. “The people behind the show were very secretive, and all we really knew was: that it was about the Mormon church, it was a musical, and that Trey Parker and Matt Stone were doing it.” He heard that the producers were replacing the actor who’d played the role of Elder Price at early readings. “It was really fast,” he says. “It was three auditions: … Something clicked, and I was cast.” Soon after opening, the show became the hottest ticket in town. “I had no idea that it would become what it has,” Rannells admits, “but it was so funny and so smart, I knew we were going to have a very solid audience. It was a surprise that it’s as universal a hit as it has become, that it’s still running and traveled to Salt Lake City.” The Book of Dunham Book of Mormon also allowed Rannells to look for TV roles filmed in NYC. So he took an initially-peripheral role in Girls as Elijah, ex-boyfriend to Hannah (played by series star and creator Lena Dunham). Elijah comes out to her as gay in the show’s third episode. Then, two years into the run of Mormon, Rannells took a vacation during TV pilot season and dashed to LA, where he threw himself into a series of meetings. One of them was with Ryan Murphy, the maestro behind Glee and American Horror Story. “I learned he was working on a show about gay parents [based on Murphy’s own life], and I asked him about it. I had this strange moment of confidence. I thought, ‘I don’t know much about this, but I want to be a part of it.’” A month later, he got the offer to play Murphy’s alter-ego in The New Normal. Rannells had two seasons under his belt playing bestie to the ladies of Girls; so he was understandably itchy to play a lead. He met with Dunham and series producer Judd Apatow. “They said of course I had to try this.” Despite the magic of the Murphy name, The New Normal struggled to find its audience. The challenge was evident: Shows like Modern Family and Will & Grace proved that America could embrace gay characters, but were network audiences ready for a show where gay people were central rather than showcased for spice or comic relief? Normal was cancelled at the end of its first season. When asked if the show was ahead of its time, Rannells is quick to respond: “That’s exactly what I think. Modern Family was very successful and Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet were hugely popular; so it seemed like a good time for a show like ours. But New Normal was principally about gay people trying to have a baby, and Justin Bartha and I were the focus. We had a great cast with Ellen Barkin, Bebe Wood and the rest, but — at its heart — it was the gay couple’s story. Maybe it was too soon for that.”

The show ended, but Rannells didn’t miss a beat. In no time, he says, “Lena offered me my job back on the third season of Girls and it’s been great to be back and see Elijah grow and evolve.” In fact, Elijah has since gone on to become one of the most multi-layered gay characters ever put on a television screen. He’s dealt with issues of sexual fluidity — sleeping with Allison Williams’ character Marnie, and when Hannah’s Dad came out as gay late in life, he turned to Elijah for comfort and counsel. Most recently, Elijah grappled with his desire for monogamy while dating a decidedly non-monagamous TV personality (played by House of Cards alum Corey Stoll). In a show that relies on irresponsible antics for its humor, Elijah often ends up the only adult in the room. “This season, I’m looking forward to showing even more different parts of Elijah. He’s no longer the messy friend, you know?” Rannells offers. “And there’s the storyline with Cory Stoll, where I get to continue to try to be more grown up and proud. Of course, Elijah still observes the girls just as the audience does, and I still get to call them out on their B.S. and being narcissistic.” Getting Bigger Dreams Rannells is now weighing his options for the future, since Girls will soon say goodbye and the lights of Falsettos won’t stay lit forever. “It’s like Oprah says, once you’ve achieved a dream, you’ve got to get bigger dreams,” he reasons. “That’s sort of been my approach. You get where you wanted to go, and move the line several steps.” It’s worth noting that Rannells’ star has risem parallel to the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the beginning of marriage equality. Unlike generations before him, he was not as seriously faced with the possibility that being openly gay and playing gay characters could threaten his career. But he’s wary that the incoming Trump administration may yet prove a danger to that kind of freedom. “What to do? “My plan is to stay vigilant,” he says.

Now when he’s asked if playing gay characters has limited him, Rannells sets the doubters straight: “I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone ask straight guys if it’s limiting playing a straight guy. I know a lot of gay roles are played by straight people, and if they’re the best people for the job — well, fine. But playing gay? I have a little insight into that.” The final season of Girls premieres Sunday, February 12 on HBO. Visit hbo.com for more details.