#‘the only thing consistent in my life is my bad taste in men’

[jelliedoodles]

little cowboy!nanami sketch for the beloved birthday boy @otterlis 💜💜

[wonustars]

𝘋𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘏𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺

Soobin vers. | Beomgyu vers.

txt as 5sos songs: you look so perfect.

Summary: yeonjun is a well known, attractive, and respected. you two are total opposites. the last thing that you would expect is for him to take interest in you. first meeting you at a coffee shop, he beomes a regular. constantly coming back to visit, but not just for the iced americanos.

Reposts are always appreciated/encouraged!! Tumblr works on reblogs not likes, Thank you for your support :)

Tags: nonidol!yj, popular!yj, campuscrush!yj, shy!asocial!reader, total opposites, opposites attract, yeonjun is so sweet and gives lots of reassurance, reader is a little angsty but still a lovely mc!

SMUT! MDNI 18+ only!

Warnings: dom!yeonjun, sub!reader, afab!reader, virgin!reader, unprotected sex, oral (f. receiving), fingering, mating press, creampie, bigdick!yeonjun,this one is more on the vanilla side.

Word count: 5k words

Note: this story contains smut so minors pls DNI! I mean it, if I see you interacting i will be blocking you. hellowwww!! a lot of people really liked the preview so, heres the full thing hehe. i like half assed with the proof read so let me know if i've missed any typos, tags or warnings!! my lovely Taehyun will be after this one :)

happy reading ~

All your life you had been the one in the shadows. There are no major plot points or no “y/n moments” that people would use to describe Wattpad-like events. You weren’t upset about this though, the life you live is content, happy enough. 

A normal day-to-day for you consists only of two things, school, and working at the cafe across campus. Your life isn’t appealing to others, but you like how quiet it is. A quiet life with no disturbances, no drama, and no feelings of stress. It's a peculiar feeling to want something that seems so lonely.

The last time you witnessed a major disturbance in your life had to be the event that took place within the confines of your part-time job. Two men were trying to win the heart of a girl. Two attractive men at that. The whole time the three were quarrelling you wondered what it would feel like knowing someone wanted you that bad, that they would fight someone else to have you. 

It left an odd taste in your mouth, and a stinging feeling behind your eyes. 

“Hey… are you guys still taking orders?” a voice brings you out of your internal tangent. You perk up from the relaxed position you were in. Shamefully, you nod. Not wanting to make eye contact you head towards the register. 

“What can I get for you?” you ask, eyes trained on the ordering screen. 

“A large iced americano please, that’s all.” 

“And the name of the order?” you ask, a stupid question. No one else was in the cafe except you and this random guy. The music feels louder than it usually does, the embarrassment causes your ears to turn red. 

“Yeonjun.” 

..̇·𓏲 would you wanna run away too?

Yeonjun found himself coming to the cafe across campus more often now. The girl behind the counter piqued his interest, more than anyone he’s ever come across before. The energy you gave off, the fact that you were so shy? He couldn’t get you out of his head. So much so that he caught himself visiting you for his iced americano at least once a day. 

Yeonjun was never on the shy side, he had always been popular at school, living a life filled with social interaction. Everyone at school always adored him, not only for his looks but his charming personality. Which only made the fact that not being able to talk to you is a weird, new feeling for him. 

As much as he wanted to talk to you, he just didn’t know what to say. Where to start, how the conversation should come about. He was overthinking, and he also felt like it was wrong to only visit the cafe as an excuse to see you, like a stalker, although this is just some innocent crush. 

“A large iced americano please,” Yeonjun asks, giving you his sweetest smile. You glance up at him and give a slight nod. He has been coming to the cafe more often lately, you weren’t sure why but you weren’t complaining. A handsome customer becoming a regular was something that caused you to look forward to your shifts. 

“Is that all?” you ask, looking up to glance at his features again. Fuck he was so attractive. 

“Actually, there’s something else I wanted to ask.” Yeonjun declares, his face covered with a layer of determination. You don’t say anything, the feeling of anticipation bubbling in your stomach. “Can I also get your number?” 

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets. Not in a million years could you have predicted that the handsome regular would ask for your number. 

“U-um yeah sure it’s  _” you're stuttering, no one ever asked for your number before. Is this the “y/n moment” so many people on the internet talk about? 

..̇·𓏲 you look so perfect standing there

As soon as you get home from your shift a notification lights up your screen. It was a foreign feeling to see your phone light up from a notification, let alone a message. Of course, you had friends, but they preferred to hang out in person rather than text. 

You already knew who it could be from, your cheeks heating up at the thought, and possibilities of what this notification might contain. Getting ready for bed quickly, you envelope yourself in your comforter. The light from your phone screen lights up your dark room. 

unknown number: hey, is this y/n? its yeonjun. from the cafe. 

you: Yes this is y/n :) 

yeonjun: hi! you got home safely, im glad. 

you: Yes I did, and so did you. I’m also glad. 

yeonjun: lol ya i hope i didn’t come off too strong earlier. i just want to get to know you more. 

you: No you didn’t, Its ok. I didn’t think you would even want my number. It was kind of a surprise. 

yeonjun: what ofc i would want your number, i think you’re really pretty. and you make good americanos

you: Thank you, it just wasn’t what i was expecting. Americanos arent rocket science tho, its literally water and espresso lol 

yeonjun: yeah ik but they taste so much better when you make them :)

It’s only been a few minutes since you and Yeonjun started talking over text, but your face has already turned into a deep shade of crimson. Throwing your phone across your bed, you shove your face into your pillow letting out a scream. The sound of your feet hitting your bed as you kick them and giggle like a mad woman. As you come back to your senses, you quickly remember that you have yet to reply. 

you: You flatter me Yj, you should keep coming back for them if you like them so much. 

yeonjun: yj? even my nickname sounds sweeter coming from you, but the Americanos weren’t the only thing i was coming back for. 

The smile on your face hurts your cheeks. Never has anyone made you feel like Yeonjun did as he texted you. The blatant flirting and numerous compliments realized how much you were missing out on while living your mundane student life. 

It had only been a few hours of texting each other back and forth, but you started to grow fond of the person Yeonjun is. He’s so handsome, not just in the face, but also with the way he carried himself. The impression he gives off is insanely attractive. The way he made you feel wanted, liked, and cherished over the simplest things reeled you in. 

..̇·𓏲 your lipstick stain is a work of art 

It’s been a few weeks since you and Yeonjun started talking but it has started to become a part of your daily routine. You’ve become accustomed to the many good morning and goodnight texts, the late night Facetime calls, and the blatant flirting from Yeonjun. 

He still comes into the cafe daily to grab his iced americano which you look forward to every shift. 

“Hey y/n!” a voice coming from the entrance grabs your attention. 

You’re working the lunch rush and have been trying to restock the pastries in the glass display. To your dismay they weren’t cooperating with you, leaving you frustrated and tired. A sigh of defeat leaves your lips and you turn your head over to the person calling your name. 

It’s him. The one person who makes your whole shift a little better. He looked so good walking through the door. His dark blue hair appeared more vibrant than usual, and the sun was hitting his face in the most heavenly way. Your heart was pumping hard, the flow of blood running to your ears and cheeks. 

Yeonjun walks up to you, and you notice someone following close behind him. Your eyes shift between the two of them. Assuming thoughts filling your head quickly. 

She is really pretty, you thought. 

They walk up to the counter together, laughing about something amongst themselves. It made your heart sink to the floor. The feeling in itself made you want to throw up. 

Quickly, you push it aside. You were not wanting your feelings to get in the way of your professionalism, especially at work. 

“Oh, hey Yeonjun and friend. What can I get for you guys?” you ask, smiling a little too hard, trying hard to act normal.

“Two americanos pleasee,” he answers, prolonging the ‘please’ with a little pout. If not for your current situation you would’ve found Yeonjun adorable. Your heart can only feel a stinging sensation at the view of the two in front of you. 

“Sounds good. They’ll be at the end of the counter for you guys,” you mumbled, not really making eye contact with Yeonjun. 

He senses your change in mood but didn’t want to make a fuss with a line slowly forming behind him. It’s the lunch rush after all, so he brushes it off for the time being. Leaving you to work, making a mental note to ask you about it when you’re off. 

..̇·𓏲 got your name tattooed in an arrow heart

Your shift felt longer than usual, probably due to the fact that you couldn’t get Yeonjun off your mind. The feeling in your chest still hasn’t subsided. Who are you to feel jealous about him hanging around other girls? Especially knowing that the two of you aren’t even together. With that tidbit of information circling your mind, you felt even more guilt for letting jealousy get the better of you. 

Not bothering to even check your phone, you focus on getting home quickly, wanting to take a shower as soon as you got back. Walking down the sidewalk your legs felt like jelly, thankfully you didn’t live that far from work. It was already past sunset and the light summer breeze whistled with every step you took. Five minutes and you’re already standing in front of your building. A sigh of relief leaves your lips as you stare up at the brown bricks towering over you, imagining your bed and the comfort it brings you. 

As you come closer to your building you see a figure leaning against the wall near the entrance. Your senses are heightened considering there usually aren’t many suspicious people who tend to hang around your building. The distance between you and this stranger has gotten smaller, revealing their identity. All the while your heart drops once again, but in relief. 

“Y/n! Hey sorry if I freaked you out. You weren’t answering my texts I thought something bad happened to you.” Yeonjun explained, coming closer to you. His scent fills your senses, calming you down in just a blink of an eye. Thank god it was just him and not some stalker. 

“Hi Junnie, sorry I didn’t answer you. I didn’t check my phone after I got off. How do you know where I live?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at him, pretending to be suspicious of his actions. Your arms are crossed as you face towards him, his eyes are round as a globe. 

“U-uh sorry if I seem like a creep y/n-” he chuckles nervously as he scratches the back of his head “-I asked one of your friends because you usually shoot me text when you’re off work.” 

“Oh ok, and no I don’t think your creepy. We’ve known eachother long enough to know these types of things anyways.” You comfort him, patting his back as you tilt your head towards the entrance. Silently asking if he wanted to come upstairs with you. 

As if it didn’t exist in the first place, the feeling of jealousy brewing in your stomach disappeared. The only thing left was the warmth Yeonjun brought you, even though your relationship has been undefined. Unlabelled. He felt like a new world you had yet to explore. New experiences that you’re waiting to try. Although he was popular, especially with the women around campus, he was a total green flag. 

Yeonjun nods his head, giving you his signature heart stopper smile as you lead him up to your apartment.

The familiar air of the building envelopes you, both of your footsteps echoing as you slowly ascend up the stairs. It wasn’t too long of a trip since you live on the second floor. 

A warm hand intertwines with yours, causing the hair on your arms to stand. The chills running through your body like an electric shock. If you weren’t quick enough, you would’ve tripped on the next step; taking Yeonjun down with you. But you relax, squeezing his hand reassuringly as you allow him to continue to follow you. 

What felt like an eternity, was in reality only a minute or two. You and Yeonjun finally made it up to the front door of your home. Your hands staying intertwined even when you fetch your keys from the bottom of your bag. As you unlock the door, your shoulders instantly relax. This is what you’ve been dreaming of since the moment you clocked into work. 

“Well, this is me.” you turn to him, shyly smiling. It wasn’t much but you were happy here. 

He chuckles. “Its cute. It suits your vibe.” 

You can’t help but smile as you continue to drag him through the rest of your living space. He follows you obediently, taking in everything little by little. The whole place felt warm, cozy, familiar. Which is exactly how Yeonjun feels about you. 

“Im gonna take a shower and change. You can watch something while you wait if you’d like.” You beam up at him with his hand still glued to yours, both sets of eyes twinkling against the ambient lighting. In this specific lighting you found Yeonjun to be so pretty. The dim lighting accentuating his features; the pink tint to his lips, the sharpness of his nose, the admiration in his eyes. 

Distracted by your beauty, Yeonjun can only smile and nod. 

..̇·𓏲 dont move, honey

As you leave your room, you see Yeonjun sitting on your couch. Looks like he’s made himself at home, you thought. Giggling quietly to yourself, you close the door shut. The sound causing Yeonjun to move his eyes over to you. His eyes are stuck on your figure, he didn’t expect you to walk out in such little clothing. The lump in his throat gets harder to swallow as you make your way to him. 

Your definition of comfortable clothing is a oversized shirt and some sleep shorts. Yeonjun doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to be rude and keep staring but he just can’t tear his eyes off you. The way your wet hair is causing your shirt to dampen; giving a sneak peak at your breasts. Or the factt that your shorts barely covered any part of you, it almost looked like you weren’t wearing any at all. God, he felt like a pervert, you looked so good he couldn’t help but feel-

“Whatcha watching?” you inquire, sitting down beside him, dangerously close. 

“Hmm just some random youtube video I stumbled upon.” he shrugs, trying to look non-chalant, but in reality, he was screaming at himself for being so turned on right now. 

“Oh ok.” You turn your attention towards the TV, your body stiff as you think about the proximity between you and Yeonjun right now. It’s the frist time he’s been over, and it’s also the first time you’ve spent alone time in person. At this moment you can only wonder if he feels the same way you do. 

With that thought, the memory of the girl who accompanied him to the cafe ressurfaces. You wonder if she was something more to him, of if they are just friends. Silently you pray its the latter. The feelings you’ve grown for Yeonjun seems to strengthen with everyday and night that you two talk. Although its a sad thought, he has every right to talk to other people; especially since neither of you stated that you would be exclusive. You aren’t really an expert in these types of situations anyways. 

Ever since you were young, the only relationships you’ve experienced were through media or reading. Some of your friends would tell you about their dating experiences, but you had no stories of your own to share. You were never as outgoing as they were, and you also didn’t like the idea of going out as often as they did. Funnily enough you still ended up in a job where you had to talk to strangers. All of that had lead you to believe that you were better off living the single life, as sad as it sounds; it was true for a good portion of your life. 

Until Yeonjun. 

“H-hey can I ask you something?” you turn over to face your body towards Yeonjun, your eyes flashing with clear nervousness. He pauses the video turning towards you with curious eyes. 

“Yeah of course, anything.” He smiles at you, his hand patting your bare thigh reassuringly. The action causing your cheeks heat up almost instantly. 

“Who was that girl you were with earlier? I know it’s not my place to ask considering we’re just friends but I’ve been thinking about it all day. Obviously if you’re not comfy you do-,” He cuts you off, a giggle leaving his lips. 

“Shes just a friend. She’s dating Soobin so you don’t need to worry.” he reassures, his hand coming back to your thigh again, squeezing it lightly, but this time he keeps it there. Your heartbeat is now in your throat as you look down at his hand. The veins running along his arms were prominent; the fact that his whole hand could grip more than half your thigh caused an unfamiliar heat to flow down to your lower body. 

“O-oh, ok just pretend I didn’t ask that then,” you mumble, your eyes still focused on the way he was no rubbing your thigh. It felt good to experience this type of skinship with him, even if it wasn’t all that much. It still has you stumbling over your words. 

“I thought you knew I liked you already y/n. I thought you knew from the moment I asked for your number.” he whispered, his face coming closer to yours. 

Your breath hitched not being able to move your eyes away from his lips. 

“U-um I didn’t know. No ones ever shown interest in me.” you confess, your head now turned down towards your hands as you play with them nervously. 

“Thats ok baby, I’m interested in you. I like you.” Yeonjun states firmly. His finger carefully placed under your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his. The look in his eyes sent a chill down your spine. This is the first time you’ve seen Yeonjun look so serious. You couldn’t help but gulp. 

“I like you too Junnie.” you whisper, your eyes locked on his. Smiling, Yeonjun strokes your cheek with his thumb. The warmth of his hand still burning onto your thigh. 

“Fuck y/n It’s so hard for me to hold back when you call me that.” His tone is low. Staring at your lips, he begins to trace their outline. 

“What? Junnie?” you provoke, matching his tone. A groan almost leaves his lips but instead his grip on your thigh only tightens. 

“May I kiss you y/n?” Yeonjun’s polite words are a stark contracts as to all the thoughts brewing in his head. You seem to have lost your voice, only nodding as you slowly try to close the gap. 

With Yeonjun’s lips on yours he grips your waist pulling you onto his lap in a swift motion. You can’t help but yelp at how easily he can move you around. It was like you were his own personal ragdoll. Wrapping your arms around his neck, he deepens the kiss.

This is your first time kissing someone but you’re glad your first is Yeonjun. Not only do you have feelings for him, but he tasted so good. It felt so wrong but right at the exact same time. 

The two of you continue to kiss passionately, and you feel yourself naturally move with the flow. Your hips starting to move back and forth slightly as Yeonjun guides you with his large hands. A tiny gasp escapes your lips as you feel something hard rub against your core. Although this was all new to you, it was like you already knew what to do. Yeonjun takes the opportunity to allow his tongue to enter your mouth. This surprises you, pulling away you say,

“Junnie I-i’ve never done anything like this before.” you squeaked, burying your face into his neck. He rubs his hands up and down the sides of your thighs, soothing you. 

“Thats alright princess, I can show you how. Will you let me?” he asks, his hands moving to take your face away from the space between his shoulder and neck. Brushing the hair out of your face, he tucks the strands behind your ear. The action in itself can only cause your cheeks to burn a deep red. Everything Yeonjun did always had you feeling like the most cherished girl in the world. You can only nod as his actions have left you speechless. 

“With your words princess.” he demands, a hand snakes down to your hips giving you an encouraging squeeze. 

“Yes Junnie, please show me how,” you murmur. Steadily, you move closer to him wanting to close the gap between you two again. You want to feel the same way you did when your bodies were pressed up against eachother. 

“Alright darling, just let me know if it gets too much for you ok? I’ll only go as far as you let me.” 

“Yes Junnie.”

“Good girl.” his hands are back on your hips, his lips back on yours. The wet sounds coming from both your mouths have you riled up. Yeonjuns back to moving your hips back and forth, desperately wanting to increase the friction. The sensation of his hard dick rubbing against you was addicting. Your thin shorts not really leaving anything up to imagination. 

Yeonjun can only groan, the feeling of your warm cunt against his cock is driving his crazy. He can only wonder how it must feel to be inside you. 

“F-feel’s good Jun.” you moan into the kiss, your hips now moving on their own accord. 

“You like that princess?” he chuckles, peppering kisses along your neck and collarbone, leaving love bites in his tracks. Slowly his hands creep up under your shirt. It lifts ups as his hands move higher. They almost hit your bare breasts, but before he proceeds he looks up to you for approval. You can only nod, dazed from all your senses going into overdrive. 

Yeonjun doesn’t waste any time and removes your shirt. You’re left bare in front of him, the blush on your cheeks still noticeable in the dim lighting. 

“You’re beautiful love,” he assures, going back to his ministrations. Kissing up and down your neck until he reaches your breasts. He takes one in his hand and the other one in his mouth. You can only moan, your head lolling back from the pleasure. Hands gripping onto his hair for some type of balance. 

Yeonjun is rock hard under you, the pulse in his dick only getting more noticable the more he pleasures you. He wants to show you how much he wants you, to show you how much you deserved to be cherished. 

Tongue swirling around your nipple, your moans become less shy, the feeling of being pleasured taking over you. Yeonjuns mouth moving onto the other nipple as he picks you up. You yelp from the sudden movement but wrap your legs around his waist anyways. 

His feet padding towards your bedroom, he opens the door. Gently he places you on your mattress, situating himself between your legs.

“Are you still doing ok over there sweetheart?” he inquires. 

“Really ok Junnie, please keep going. Want more.” you whimper, your elbows stablizing you as you get a good view of him. He begins to remove your shorts, your pussy glistening from how wet he’s gotten you. A groan bubbles up in Yeonjuns throat; just looking at you in this light could make him cum. 

He makes himself comfortable with his head between your thighs. Taking things slow, he uses one finger to play with your entrance. Rubbing you all over, collecting your wetness before he finally pushes a finger in. 

You moan, your elbows collapsing from the pleasure. You grip your sheets as he pumps his finger in and out of you. The lewd sounds of your soaking core bouncing off the walls. After a few more pumps he adds in another finger, the stretch burning so good.

He looks up at you to see you whimpering for him, his name leaving your mouth in what sounded like a sweet melody. The way your brows scrunch with his every moves turns him on even more. Watching you coming undone on his fingers is a sight he wants to see everyday if he could.

“Let me taste you baby.” Yeonjun says with a deep tone to his voice. Every word coming out of his mouth is dripping with lust. With that warning he places a kiss on your clit, your hands moving from your sheets to grip his hair. He continues to kitten lick and suck on your sensitive bud, the pleasure sending you to another universe. 

“O-oh Junnie, it feels so good.” you squeak out. He places your legs over his shoulders, delving into you more. He’s properly eating you out now, his fingers pumping in and out of your wet heat while licking you all at the same time. As he goes on, an unfamiliar feeling starts to brew in your stomach; growing stronger as more time passed. 

“I can feel your pussy gripping my fingers baby, cum for me. I know you can do it, just let go.” Yeonjun purrs, his words of encouragement is your last straw before your orgasm. 

“Good girl, so good for me. You’re doing so well my love.” he’s praising you as he moves back up to your face. Hes smirking at you as he hovers over your naked body. His own body still in between your legs, the lower half of his face glistening with your juices. 

“Can I fuck you princess?” he asks.

The vulgar words spewing from his mouth, the way he asks so nicely, the way he calls you such sweet names; the polarity of it all gives you whiplash. 

“Yes please, wanna feel you inside me.” you mumble and you press kissing all along his face, moving down towards his neck. You found it so attractive how he always asks for your consent. 

He quickly undresses, both your clothes randomly thrown around the room. Situating himself between your legs once again, he sits himself on his heels. Pumping his length a few times he then rubs the tip up and down your slit, collecting your juices. The squelching sound of your lips rubbing against his him is like music to his ears. 

Yeonjun finally enters you, causing your back to arch with every inch he slowly puts in. You’ve only heard about sex through friends, but being able to experience it yourself is on another level. The stretch of his cock pushing inside you stings more than when he was fucking you with his fingers. 

“Mmm Junnie I think you’re too big,” you whimper while hes pressing kisses all over your face to soothe you. 

“It’s ok love, it’ll feel better as it goes on ok?” Yeonjun groans, as he keeps pushing into you. He continues till hes dick is buried deep inside you. Stilling for a moment, he lets you get used to the feeling. The scrunched up look on your face begins to relax, giving him a signal to start thrusting into you. 

“Fuck baby you feel so good around me.” he whispers. 

At first hes slow, but the sound of your wet pussy getting fucked by his dick starts to fog his thoughts. Your moans increase in volume, his name falling off your lips repeatedly. 

“Junnie, hmmm it feels so good. Faster please.” you beg as your wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him down for another kiss. Who is he to deny you? 

He fucks into you faster, this time you can hear the slapping sounds as his length goes in and out of you. One of his hands moving between the two of you to rub your clit and his thrusts to turn sloppy. 

Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head the more Yeonjun pumps his dick into you. You could feel his length kiss your cervix with every thrust. This is all so new to you, and the only thing you could do is keep moaning and telling him how good it felt.

“This pussy was made for me. Isn’t it baby?” he states rather than asks.

“Y-yes Jun.” you’re a stuttering mess, you could barely answer him as it is.

“Taking me so well princess. I wanna fuck you like this all the time now.” he praises again, taking your thighs and pressing them towards your stomach. The new angle causes you to whimper, you can feel him so much deeper. Your gummy walls are practically suctioning him.

You moan in response. He’s fucked you dumb at this point, cock drunk with every move he makes inside your wet cunt.

“Can I cum inside you baby?” he asks in between kisses. 

“Please Junnie, wanna feel you cum in me.” you moan, the feeling of your clit being stimualted as he fucks you is causing you to see stars. You cum around him, gripping his dick as you ride out your second orgasm. As if on queue Yeonjun relases his cum inside you, halting his thrusts. He continues to kiss you making sure you feel loved and wanted, his member still buried inside you. 

“You were amazing for your first time princess.” he praises you once again, you kiss him in response. 

“Lets do it again please.” you giggle. 

Yeonjun kisses up your neck, his cock still rock hard. 

“Whatever you want love.” he responds, thrusting into you again. 

© wonustars

[neet-elite]

AHHHH!!! screaming because i'm so damn happy you answered my seb x haley x reader request. i was lowkey refreshing your page to see if you answered it lol.

i have some other ideas too.

One's inspired by your perv sebastian. he's looking for reader and ends up watching her and haley having sex and getting caught and punished for it?

Another is kind of a continuation of what you just wrote? i would love love love to see you write more for it and i was thinking that either seb gets bullied more (bc i too love bullying men) or he gets the upperhand on haley (bc brat taming is also lovely)

Either way, i'm already incredibly pleased you wrote my request! i don't expect you to write more, but i thought that i'd share my thoughts hehe. i love the way you wrote all three of the characters and it was just so perfect <3

Hii!! Thank you for waiting patiently for me, I always love doing requests even if they take me some time to get to, so I appreciate both you sending them in and for your patience!!

Love your ideas, I decided to continue to drabble I already finished to keep things consistent <3 (and because I love bullying men too >:D!)

Thanks again for sending this in! I love the little Seb/Haley/Farmer trio thing going on.

MDNI ♡ Warnings: threesome, (reluctantly) submissive sebastian, degradation, role reversal, rope restraints, sex toys, strap on, saliva

WC: 1419

What you're putting him through has to be grounds for torture at his rate, knees weak and breathing ragged; and you've yet to touch him. He feels dizzy with desire, pained with want for you. His heart aches to soothe your whines and his cock throbs with instinctual greed. And somewhere in the pit of his stomach, he's almost convinced himself that actual torture would be easier to endure than what's currently happening right in front of him. It's bad enough having to watch through his hazy vision as Haley humps into you from behind, pretty pink strap on surely fucking you open for her, but to have you drooling all over his slick covered cock like that too? Absolute agony. He hates it. He loves you.

"What— settle down, sweetheart," Haley interrupts herself to coo at you, commenting on the obscene moans spilling from your pretty bitten lips. Sebastian wants to gnaw on them too, bite and kiss and suck until you remember who's really in charge. The pathetic whimper that follows after Haley's command has his hard and heavy cock just aching to be inside of you already, trembling in the hot airy breaths Haley fucks out of you, tugged out of his pants earlier in a brief moment of hope from his meaner girlfriend. Of course she had no intention on touching him more than necessary.

Freeing his pervert cock only to hover you above his leaking tip, close enough to have fat beads of precum spill for you, not close enough for you to taste it, even with the eager thrusts Haley offers your soaked little cunt. Fuck, he can hear how wet you are. How you gush around the silicone cock, and how it should me him you're creaming around instead.

This is definitely worse than torture, he decides.

"What should I do next, Seb?" Haley finally finishes her half started sentence, gasping for air when her hips refuse to stop fucking into you despite her focus being on how stupidly desperate he likely looks. He's failed to answer the previous three times she's asked for his input, and he doubts he has the power to answer now. Instead, he slowly glances up at her with glassy eyes, cock trembling some more when she smiles down at him; so sweet, that's how he knows she's not being honest. "What's that?" She taunts, voice barely above a whisper for him to gulp at. Pretending he's replied is humiliating, treating him like an animal; yet he's never been harder in his life. Promise. You're so close he thinks to himself as another drip of drool falls from your tongue to his tip. Just a little further, c'mon he tries to communicate with you, pleading to your teary eyes, hoping to get past the blurriness Haley is fucking you into. "Not yet?" She repeats to him for the God knows nth time, and his eyes roll back in response. Still, a broken whine crawls up his chest, balls aching under your dribbles and babbles to shut you up, stuff you full, just like your open mouth is begging him to.

But, all you do is continue to rock above him. Staring right through him, leaving him to admire the dumb look Haley humps you into. All dazed and pretty, mouth agape while your eyes squeeze shut, and he knows how good you feel. It's so fucking tempting, would be so easy to oblige your silent whisper of touch, but you've tied him too tight. The tear stains adorning your cheek catch his attention and he mouths cute at you, wanting for nothing more than to lick at them, clean your pretty face up; only to ruin it again with his cock.

And yet he can't deny how utterly good it feels to have Haley's watchful eye on him at all times, giggling at the way he writhes in his binds, struggles to keep your attention on him when your girlfriend is fucking you stupid. What a disgusting pervert he is, right? Getting off to being deprived. He probably deserves this kind of mistreatment, edging himself without even being touched, encouraged to continue leaking all over himself till a puddle forms beneath him by your consistent drops of drool. "Gross." Haley states bluntly, punctuating her distaste for his depraved display with quicker thrusts into your tiny cunt—God he wants to be inside of you so bad, wants to be the one making you sob so sweetly, make you feel every cock pulse your moans coax out of him—leaving you to sputter and whine over his fat and needy cock.

You gasp his name like it's his fault you're close, and he very nearly cums on the spot with you. Could feel it crawling up his spine, tightening in his tummy when paired with your tongue sticking out, like you want to suck him dry just as much as he wants to choke your throat with cum. He's messy with you now, unsure which parts of his body are covered in his own precum or your spit, and the thought alone causes his hips to stutter. Just a small motion, because if he gave in any further to his baser instincts, then he'd be punished for it. He can't cum yet, Haley hasn't said okay. Her glossy lips purse at him once more, and he winces in preparation for more bullying. So fucking hot.

She lets out a low tut and he has to will himself to hold back, to not rut his hips just a little further in the air in hopes of shooting his seed at least against your lips. Spoil her pristine dominance, mark you as his own. Haley sticks her tongue out at him in a childish gesture and it's an all too cute action for the current situation. The idea of a ruined orgasm destroys him, so through a tight jaw his frustration gets the better of him. "Don't—" he pleads, the opening of his mouth causing a sharp moan to spill when you whimper at how cracked his voice is. How broken he is by now, rendered useless before you; and all Haley had to do was put your mouth an inch out of reach. Gross, Haley was right. How down bad he is for you both, how ridiculously easy it is to have him panting and fawning all over you and Haley. Just a little cunt in his face, a mean word from Haley, and he's ready to burst. Dumb dog.

And just like a dog, he only thinks for himself. Don't get him wrong, he loves you, so much so that it hurts sometimes; but all he can think about right now is wetting his cock and filling you up. That's it. There's no more room in his stupid perverted mind to imagine anything better than relieving himself of the tension built up in his whole body, muscles taut and cock jerking for attention with every harsh exhale you offer him; because that's all Haley allows.

Thankfully though, it seems Haley is satisfied with her teasing for now. Content instead to lean over you and press her tits against your back, making sure not to push you far enough to pleasure Sebastian; no, she's not that nice. From the new angle he can see the way her manicured nails dig into your ass for purchase, and he wants to kiss you better. "Feel good, baby?" She whispers against your neck, leaving a comparatively soft trail of kisses down your spine while she fucks you almost as well as Sebastian does. The way she talks as if Sebastian no longer exists gets to him in the best way possible, his head thrown back in sheer horny frustration while his legs attempt to stretch out for comfort, but the rope you tied disallows him. You barely offer a nod back before she's doing what she does best again; bullying. "Are you close?" She questions, and though Sebastian is in the right enough mind to register her words as a thinly veiled threat, you're far too fucked out to recognise the hidden meaning.

You nod before he has a chance to shut you up. See, this is why your mouth should be warming his cock. If only you'd disobey your girlfriend and listen to your (not) much nicer boyfriend, then maybe you wouldn't be teary eyed pouting right now.

"Not yet." Haley reminds you kindly, slowing her thrusts down to a crawl.

[possessionisamyth]

can’t read even 1/4 of the het ships in this tag because people put all the women into such tradwife roles it makes me want to vomit, so here are my headcanons when it comes to cooking abilities

Jill Valentine- Military rationing because it’s less time consuming. She cooks once and makes enough food to eat on for two weeks. She will eat that soup/beans&rice/chili for every other meal until she runs out. All her recipes are “throw everything in a pot and let it simmer overnight” style. Anything that has her sauteing, baking, or frying will get burned since she gets distracted doing other more important stuff.

Rebecca Chambers- Does not cook. Can not cook. Has not figured out how to cook. Take-out Queen. She can find a good restaurant or cafe in any area and this skill was honed on purpose. Hates long wait times for food though, so if she can she’ll send someone else to get her food/drinks.

Claire Redfield- Cooking level is tolerable as in she can follow easy recipes when there’s a video to watch, but may get an ingredient or measurement wrong and wonder why the dish tastes off. Anything more complicated than meatloaf or country fried steak is her nemesis.

Ada Wong- Fucking hates cooking. Can cook something decent with the littlest variety of ingredients, but hates it so much. She hates the mess during prep time, the mess during cooking, and the clean up afterwards. Hires a personal chef where she can or goes out to eat. (Before anyone disagrees saying she doesn’t trust strangers this much, consider she has a lot of money from her jobs and most people do not actually know who the fuck she is.)

Sherry Birkin- Substitution Queen. Loves to cook, and loves to experiment with food even more. If she starts cooking and finds she’s missing an ingredient, she’ll look at other recipes to see if she can replace it with something else. Will finish eating her food experiments or new recipe attempts even if they’re a little bland while constructing ideas on how to make it better next time.

Ashley Graham- Cooks college student food even into adulthood. Lactose intolerant but ignores it.  Her mom couldn’t cook, and no longer having a personal chef left her in the wild to figure things out. She will put together any strange combination of food for the taste and calories. She mixes cereals together. She mixes plain yogurt into her ramen. She will lovingly add a slice of cheese on top of the most white looking piece of baked chicken before adding hot sauce and sandwiching it between 9-grain wheat bread for the sake of getting some kind of fiber in her body.

Ingrid Hunnigan- The planner. She can follow almost any recipe without too much difficulty, and always makes sure she has all the ingredients before she starts. She cannot improv or substitute ingredients to save her life.

Sheva Alomar- Teaches herself how to cook a new recipe or better a current recipe when she has the time. Has 5 go-to recipes she’s mastered which everyone loves, but no consistent recipe book. Will default to military rationing where she’ll make a big pot of something and eat on it for a few days until she gets bored of it and goes out to eat. Forgets about ingredients she purchased and only used a little of, and they go bad making her feel guilty.

Helena Harper- Frozen meals or box meals where she adds a “secret ingredient” into whatever she cooks. The secret ingredient is always cayenne pepper or bouillon powder.

Mia Winters- Can cook only the most white american food possible, but thankfully is not afraid of spices or spicy food. Hamburgers, steak, casseroles, tuna salad, and so on, she can manage pretty well. Any “foreign” food is lost on her. The first time Ethan brought home an avocado with plans to make guacamole, he caught her using a potato peeler on it.

Let me know if you’d like a similar list with the men of RE.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

MARWA (WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (TV SERIES)) (CW: Mind Control)

1.) okok so a major character (nandor) uses a genie wish to bring back the 37 wives he had when he was human (he’s a vampire who was turned in the 1400s but is alive in the modern day) to pick his favorite to live with and settles on marwa. she’s established as someone who’s passionate about science and mathematics, but nandor uses his genie wishes to essentially mold her into his perfect woman like a doll, from changing her hair color to making her not want to go to the night market with him to making her like all the things he likes. this culminates in him LITERALLY TRANSFORMING HER INTO A BRITISH MAN NAMED FREDDIE and that is her send off from the show. the treatment of her is disgusting i’m sorry for ranting i love wwdits but honestly the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth

2.) WHERE TO START my god. Marwa is introduced into the story as one of a crowd of women who are interchangeable to the man summoning them, WHO IS HER CANONICAL HUSBAND but he gives less than half a fuck about her, which is played for laughs. The writers made it completely unclear whether she is a real person or basically a magical simulation with no inner life and did not bother to clarify that at any point. Her plotline consists of her husband using magical wishes to modify various aspects of her body and mind and the writers never explore whether she is aware this is happening or not, much less how she might be experiencing it. It is a terrifying psychological horror story from her perspective but we are not given any insight into her perspective so who cares I guess!! For example, he wishes for her to have a rounder ass and then wishes that all of her preferences align perfectly with his own, so that she'll stop nagging him about wanting different colored flowers at their wedding than him. There are SEVERAL more examples. Her experience of having all of her desires replaced with her husband's desires shows up only for jokes, plus one moment that is used to confirm that her husband's real love interest is one of the other male leads in the show. (I ship the two male characters, I'm not complaining about that, but like COME ON SHE WAS A HUMAN PERSON ONCE AND SHE IS LIVING IN A HORROR MOVIE AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT???) THE WORST PART is that when it's time for her to exit the story because her body and personality have already been essentially replaced by magic and she is now a boring toy, she is LITERALLY PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY transformed into a random British man so that her husband can have that guy as a love interest instead of her. She (he? It? Again it is never NEVER explored whether Marwa is like, alive inside this British man's mind somehow? Or if she was ever really alive in her body?) moves to England to be in love with the original British man she was based off of, so basically her twin. This is also played for laughs. Her entire personality and body are not even killed off with like a death scene but literally ERASED FROM REALITY AND REPLACED WITH A COPY OF THIS SHITTY WHITE DUDE.

3.) (Context: Nandor is a vampire who has been alive for a while. When he was human he had 37 wives. (Btw some of the wives were men but that’s besides the point.))

She was brought back to life (along with a couple others) via Djinn wish just because Nandor wanted to have a ‘wife’ (some of the ‘wives’ are men). After being deemed the ‘best wife’ by Nandor she is the only one left alive. It is clear the entire fourth season that Nandor doesn’t care for her much and she is only there because Nandor wants to be married to someone. He ignores her wants and interests the whole season. Via another Djinn wish Nandor makes Marwa like everything he likes so she is more agreeable with him. Later on, he meets another character’s boyfriend named Freddie. Nandor basically falls for Freddie immediately and via Djinn wish, wishes Marwa to be exactly Freddie. :| With that wish, Marwa is effectively gone. She now looks and acts like Freddie. The two Freddies meet and after freaking out a little (and some magic) they get along because they like the same exact things. By the end of the season both Freddies are sent off to never be seen again. Also, Nandor has some extra Djinn wishes so he could’ve turned Marwa back but he didn’t.

Additional links: Article about the Freddie thing: https://www.themarysue.com/what-we-do-in-the-shadows-missed-hard-with-its-treatment-of-marwa/

She likes what he likes:

Also This:

MIKOKO SAKAZAKI (KAIJI)

1.) She is one of two (2) women with a speaking role in the manga (which has been ongoing since the 90s), and was the first female character to appear at all. She has a crush on the protagonist, Kaiji, but this is treated as a joke/ as gross because of her appearance. She is meant to be ugly because of the size of her nose and lips and therefore is invalid as a person. She has no role other than to pester Kaiji with her crush, and despite him ignoring or acting weirded out around her constantly, her attraction to him never fades. She gets almost no characterization outside of this and is only seen once after Kaiji leaves, where she is drawing a manga where he comes back to her. When she's shown once in a bikini, the sight is so disgusting to the protagonist that he sprints away at full speed. Despite this, she is sometimes used in ads for the series.

2.) Her face looks "too much like her father's", yet he never receives any negativity for it. Every single male character in the manga has the same style of facial features, yet when the creator puts them on a woman it makes her mockable and gross.

[shrikeseams]

I don’t understand this idea that Finwë is forcing Miriel into staying dead forever because he wants to get with Indis - the text makes it very clear that he tries for years to get Miriel to come back, and she consistently makes insists that she’ll never return. Why should Finwë stay alone forever for the sake of someone who never opens on coming back? The story even says that she doesn’t even consider coming back to life until until he dies himself. I don’t see how Finwë, and especially Indis, did anything wrong.

It's late and I'm tipsy, so this may not be my best effort, but here goes, and if you want clarification/further response you'll have to reply or reblog:

TL;DR: I have no issue with Finwe's remarriage. My issue is that his remarriage was conducted in such a way (by both finwe and the Valar) that a) functionally left Miriel facing all of the long-term consequences while Finwe got just what he wanted, and b) was conducted in unseemly haste for a species that is LITERALLY IMMORTAL. THERE IS NO REASON FOR FINWE TO BE IN A RUSH. HE HAS THE ENTIRE LIFETIME OF ARDA. And also, c) Finwe ultimately proves faithless to Indis as well, which (to me) suggests that this is a finwe problem. If he had just gotten a divorce and severed his fate from miriel's, I... would still not have a high opinion of him. But I wouldn't want to beat him with a 2x4, y'know? The real issue here is that true divorce is a positive social good, but that in its absence Finwe and the valar chose a course of action that only benefited one party.

TLDR-er: Just because miriel wasn't healed when it was convenient to finwe does not give him the right to steal her right to reimbody if and when she does heal. Even the act of asking is, to me, unforgivable. I don't think he was obliged to stay marrived to her, but what he actually did was to functionally ask her to die for his comfort. (Indis's only wrongdoing was bad taste in men. 😔)

TLDRest: I actually think it's worse to ask somebody to die/stay dead for eternity than it is to ask someone not to have a wife and more children! I kinda thing finwe should have looked into adoption and maybe joined a bowling league! The absence of his wife is not, in fact, Doom him to be Forever Alone!

TLDREST FOR REAL THIS TIME: Miriel's right to live (and therefore to eventually reimbody) supercedes finwe's right to remarry for any reason. And his willingness to compromise that makes me doubt his moral character.

Firstly, let's acknowledge my personal bias. Every time I think of miriel, I am thinking of her as if she were one of my friends. That is by basis for looking at the miriel-finwe-indis relationship: how would, personally, view finwe if he were the spouse of a friend? If you can't at least partway accept that premise then I do not expect that this will be convincing.

and because I know this approach isn't universal, my baseline reading is that miriel is suicidally depressed, in a situation where even a completed suicide does not release her from the pressures of her husband, society, and religion.

Now. Let's shift the circumstances a little, to a more real-world version. Let's say that Miriel just has extreme postpartum depression, and she's gone to a facility for inpatient treatment of her own choice. And then, because she isn't any better and still needs that extra support, she stays in that facility for years.

What would you think of a husband who repeatedly pressured her to leave inpatient care? What would you think of a husband who pressured his wife to leave medical care specifically because he wants more kids (the thing that put her into care in the first place)? Would you think well of him for using his political power♧ to functionally get a legal exemption for bigamy, under the condition that his first wife can't ever leave inpatient care (even if she heals)?

Now, take whatever emotional reaction you had to that scenario (which could be different from mine!) And bring it back to Arda.

And when you do that, please remember that 1) elves are immortal and literally have the option to wait for a spouse until the end of the world if they so choose. But ,y understanding is that the longest Finwe ever waited to remarry in a draft was Feanor's early adulthood. So you have a literal immortal who can't give his wife a few millenia of grace to heal. and also--

2) Finwe and miriel lived in a society where that was, in fact, the expectation. That was the deal they made when they married. That was the choice. Even if they married in Aman with expectation of eternal paradise, they both made the journey, and had lived in the real world, and presumably had at least some cultural scripts for the death of a spouse.

And keep in mind what finwe's remarriage isn't: it's not a divorce. It leaves miriel bound to death and finwe free to remarry. The only benefit to miriel was that everybody stopped pestering her to be healed already.*

With all that in mind--are you comfortable with finwe's choice? If Finwe were a friend of yours, would you think he had done well by his first wife? Did he honor his vows to her? Did he act in justice?

And does that answer change when he later abandons indis of his own free will?

♧ do you think finwe's petition would have gone anywhere but the garbage bin if he (and indis) weren't royal? Because I don't.

*i think this is technically a tangential thought but: is it ethical to ask a suicidally depressed personal, who literally already killed herself, to stay dead forever for someone else's benefit? Because to me, if she were healed enough to answer that question with a clear mind, then the situation itself becomes irrelevant. This is only relevant if you read miriel as depressed/ill in some way, I suppose, but there's an inherent catch-22 there that I feel like the valar and finwe handled in an intrinsically unethical way.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I have bad news, everyone: I’ve started the new podcasts, and it’s not gone as I’d have liked. I’d really like to have more intelligent tastes than this. I really would.

I started with Three Bean Salad, and it took me a while to sort of work out what they were doing. The first episode was three men whose voices I could not tell apart at all talking about how having posters or other things on your wall to show what things you like in the world is a silly teenage thing to do and you get rid of that stuff when you’re an adult, which annoyed me to a probably irrational level, because they’re entirely correct. I frequently feel self-conscious about letting anyone see my bedroom, because it's so full of stuff all over the walls and shelves that I’ve accumulated throughout my life to represented something I love or did at one point, and I know that makes it look like a teenager’s bedroom. But also, having a room that’s just mine and is set up that way and being able to sit in it and look around at all my stuff is one of the only things that makes me feel relaxed and less anxious, and it’s not like I regularly have anyone else in there anyway, so I keep it like that.

Well, mostly. I actually just moved and have to go to my new house today to unpack everything and set up my new room, but it’s been in chaos for a while and before that I was house-sitting so it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to sit in my room full of my stuff that’s all mine and all over my walls and feel comforted and grounded by that. And I’m moving into a slightly smaller room than my previous one and it won’t have space for everything and I’ve been thinking that maybe I should get rid of some of the stuff anyway because maybe I don’t need the little reminders of every single person I ever used to be, and maybe I’m 33 and don’t need to live in a teenager’s bedroom anymore, most 33-year-olds if they’re not actually sharing their bedroom with someone else have at least grown mature enough so they could do that rather than needing a room that is theirs and theirs along and a little museum of themselves, maybe it's time to grow up and set up my room with just a bed and a night stand and my clothes and not worry about the rest of it, and just sort of acknowledge that the feeling of sitting in a bedroom that’s all set up with my stuff, the feeling I’ve been seeking out for comfort since I was nine years old is not a feeling you’re supposed to have anymore after 33 because most things that were nice when you were young are not supposed to last into your mid-thirties, and maybe I’d be less sad about that if I just accepted it and let go of some stuff. I’ve been thinking of that lately and it still feels sad, and today I am going to go set up my new room and after all that I probably will do my best to set it up the way I had it before because consistency in my bedroom setup is the one bit of continuity I get in life and I like to feel grounded.

So, you can see why the first episode of a new podcast focusing on making fun of their teenage selves for how they show their interests via posters on their walls, and how when people become adults they get rid of that stuff, made it slightly difficult for me to get into on this week. Because I’m aware that they’re correct, I just happen to be slightly sensitive about it right now specifically.

So that immediately made me feel like, I don’t really get where these guys are coming from, they might be slightly too much of proper mature adults for me to get into their stories. It continued to not help that I cannot tell one voice from another. But I reminded myself that I pretty much never enjoy the very first episode of any podcast. I don’t know what they’re doing yet, half my mental energy is going to just trying to understand the situation. They don’t know what they’re doing yet; even if the chemistry was already there from pre-existing relationships among the performers, it takes time for that to click into the format. It’s not fair to compare one episode of a podcast I’ve never heard before to other stuff that’s already familiar, so I have to give it at least a few.

It was near the end of the second episode that they made me actually laugh for the first time, as I felt like I was catching onto where the humour was coming from. It helped that the second episode’s topic, lizards, was a lot more abstract than their first topic, which was posters. I mean, obviously lizards are a very real and non-abstract thing, but if three people talk about them for an hour, they’re more likely to go off on flights of fancy and strange observations because lizards are rarely encountered by people who live in Britain, while posters are commonplace items encountered in day-to-day life. I ended up listening to three episodes, which has been enough for me to form the opinion that I think I like them better when they’re off on weird flights of fancy than when they’re discussing stories from day-to-day life. Though I might have too small a sample size and just had the bad luck of starting with a terrible topic for day-to-day life discussions.

The third episode did make me laugh, as they discussed Rome, and got into facts about history and increasingly strange ideas. I also like the overly long intros and outros, where they comically overreact to listener emails. That part was fun. After three episodes, I was starting to properly get into it, and figured that’s a big enough sample for me to try another one for comparison.

…And this is where the bad news comes in. I’m sorry to report that when I put on the first episode of Peacock and Gamble, they had me laughing hard, uncontrollably, repeatedly within the first ten minutes. I guess it makes some sense for the initial period of weirdness to be waived a bit for this, since I already know who Ed Gamble is so it wouldn’t take as long to get used to. But I also already know who Mike Wozniak is, and I’d never heard Ray Peacock (or whatever his real name is) before, and I’m definitely not familiar with Ed Gamble circa-2009, so I’m pretty sure that what happened is I have such lowbrow tastes that the absolute filth that was Peacock and Gamble circumvented my usual need to take a while to get into a new thing, and got me on board from the very first moment.

And it is absolute filth. I kept checking to make absolutely sure that my headphones were definitely completely plugged in, because it would be really bad if the other people in the centre for disabled children where I work could hear the words used by the guys I was listening to on my admin time. Aside from the problematic thing, it’s also just kind of shit in terms of objective quality. The audio quality is terrible. It sounds vaguely tinny, and for some reason it kept going much more into one side of the headphones than the other, and sometimes it’ll switch which one, and I don’t even know how that ends up happening but I know it wasn’t an issue with my headphones because I listened to other things and they worked fine. It was also clearly not even slightly planned out beforehand. Which I guess Three Bean Salad wasn’t either, but at least in that one it sounds like they were trying, and like they had planned out some of the intro and outro stuff. While Peacock and Gamble were just rambling.

But it was so funny. It was exactly what I hoped it would be: Ed Gamble, whom I really like but my least favourite part of him is how sometimes he seems to polished/sanitized for TV – this was Ed Gamble without my least favourite part. Without… with maybe not quite enough of my least favourite part. It might be good if I had just a touch more of that sanitization back. That might make listening to it easier on my soul.

Fairly recently, I listened to a full Ed Gamble stand-up hour for the first time, and it made me think, I fucking hate when people unironically talk about “edgy comedy” being a good thing and the politically correct lack of it being the death of the artform, but Ed Gamble’s set about his marriage is making me have a rare moment of thinking “God, this would be better if it had a bit of edge to it.” Yet yesterday I thought, I fucking hate when people unironically talk about “edgy comedy” being a good thing and the politically correct lack of it being the death of the artform, but that Peacock and Gamble thing is filled with a painful amount of edgelord humour that would rightly not get made today, but God, it was fucking funny. A bit hard on the soul, very funny.

Surely there’s some mid-point? That Peacock and Gamble episode was funny despite the rape joke and liberal use of ableist slurs, not because of them. Surely there’s a reasonable level of edge, where you could have all the funny stuff from that podcast episode but drop the actual slurs and rape joke, and that would still be just as funny. Ed Gamble does seem like a man who goes from one extreme to another. Actually, that probably applies in a number of ways – to the amount of edge in his comedy, but also to his physical appearance, and the lifestyle factors that affect it. Hey, Ed! I found you a theme for your next comedy set! An hour on your personality’s tendency toward extremes sounds a lot more interesting than stories about your honeymoon. No offense or anything, your marriage sounds lovely and I genuinely hope you and your wife and cat and neighbourhood WhatsApp group are very happy together! I hope you find inner peace, that's more important than being an edgy comedian!

Anyway, the point is that I realized if Peacock and Gamble is going to be the one I stick with - which is looking increasingly likely - I need to start with the context for it. So I've gone back and downloaded the Ray Peacock podcast to do that first. I've only actually listened to the first episode of the Peacock and Gamble thing so far, maybe I'll get two more episode in and find it wears thin fast and I'd prefer another one. And I will still try the others on my list. But the bad news is that I think my taste in comedy might be terrible.

[towalkbetweengalaxies]

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝟏𝐄𝟏 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏

You know what they say, Officer... If it’s getting too loud, you’re gettin’ too old.

Do you know why I pulled you over?

I like to punish people too.

Feels good to get away with something, doesn’t it? 

People like to tell me things. Those deep, dark, naughty little desires that’re really on their minds.

It's a gift. 

Here, take more, it’s only money.

You people are funny about your laws.

Have I ever told you how incredibly sexy you are when you can’t control your emotions?

I’m retired. I’ve got nothing but time.

I think you have a visitor.

How’s it hanging, big guy?

Your return to The Underworld has been... requested.

Yep, here it is. The seventh of Never through the fifteenth of Ain’t Gonna Happen? How’s that work for you guys?

I’m consistently surprised by the whole no sense of humor thing.

Look, remind Dad I quit Hell because I was sick and tired of playing a part in his play. 

I’ll warn you against disrespecting Our Father.

You are a mockery of everything divine.

 Do you think I’m the devil because I’m inherently evil or simply because dear ol’ Dad decided I was? Isn’t this a classic case of labeling? 

What do you think happens when the Devil leaves Hell? All those demons, those tormented souls... where do they go?

Tell Father, I’m not. Going. Back.

So you, my feathered friend, can go to hell.

He will not be merciful much longer. 

Can I have your autograph?

Reminds me of how it was before everything got so big and messy.

Sometimes I feel like you were the only one who was ever really honest with me.

Did I sell my soul to the Devil?

That would imply the Devil is actually interested in your soul. 

 I told you I wanted to be a star and that’s when things started happening for me. 

You do call yourself Lucifer. 

Call me whatever you want, but I’m really just a patron of the arts.

Honestly, I introduced you to a few key people who owed me favors. That’s all.

Do you think I’m talented?

You have one of the most beautiful voices I’ve ever heard. It’s sweet, dirty, sexy, soulful... 

I knew you were a star, I just helped the world catch up. 

Because along with the good came a hell of a lot of bad.

Oh, so the Devil made you do it?

Your choices are on you, my dear.

The toxic relationships were my biggest screw-up. God, I really do have the worst taste in men... 

 I can’t believe you almost married that sweaty little imp…

You introduced us!

I suggested you work with him -- not sleep with him.

I got confused!

He trapped me in the bathroom at the Grammys a month ago. Cried. Said he wanted to get back together. 

God, I’m such a mess.

God has nothing to do with your mess anymore than I do.

You didn’t sell your soul, but you do owe me a favor. Looks like it’s time to settle up.

I’m scared…

What I’m about to ask is going to be quite difficult for you.

Get it together before it’s too late. You’re wasting your talent. Your life.

I let you down.

Then fix it.

I’m gonna do what you asked. I’m gonna get it together. I promise.

It’s not about me. All these terrible things that weren’t supposed to happen? They happened. What happens next is up to you.

What did you do?

Tell me why. Why did you end her life?

I can smell death coming for you -- shall I speed it along?

Times like these I wish I was back in Hell.

[waiting-on-a-dream]

My ocs as long palette names

Titles were taken from this banger of a post by @/fivepointpalettes. I'm waiting on your version of this post, Lina. /hj

Also, note that this is based on the titles of the palettes only and not the colours of the palettes. It's a nice bonus if the palette matches the oc(s) though.

Sorry I didn’t Realize People Like You Have Feelings - Violet, Mahira, Zoya, Duran (They've definitely said this to at least one person lmao)

Just Friends But We Kiss Sometimes - Chandani and Xue Mei (I'm only half-joking... They're giving me sapphic vibes, you know?)

Let Me Be Your Unreliable Narrator, Baby! - Aurora

Focus On Me (Ignore The Blood) - Emile

I Saw The End Of The World In Your Eyes - Xenon (Divination~)

What Are You Doing In My House / Now Now I Don’t Usually Make It A Habit To - Stop Yelling - Break Into People’s Homes But As You Can See Sometimes I Do - Silas as the first one, Aurora as the second 💀

Well First Of All I Am Positive What You Did Is A Criminal Offense / And Second Of All Why Didn’t You Invite Me - Iris, Mahira, Zoya

Hey Quick Question Are We Really About To Commit Arson? - Violet (I can imagine her getting roped into stuff like this LMAO 💀💀💀)

Does This Taste Expired To You Too? - Aurora, Wyn, Zoya, Mia, Elio

Only One Thing In This Room Is Edible And Good Luck Figuring Out Which One It Is  - Aurora (Let the death games begin)

Your House Has No Anomalies But I’m Reporting You For Bad Taste In Art - Iris (Iris as a house inspector lmao)

Who Put Strawberries In The Bathtub 

Who Put Strawberries In The Bathtub Again 

This Is The Third Time Someone Put Strawberries In The Bathtub Who Keeps Doing This Please Stop - Violet, Luka (*Wheeze*)

Soda Cans Are Great I Love Accidentally Spilling Liquid On Myself  - Zoya, Mia, Fleda

It’s Not A Good Cake But It’s Not A Bad Cake Either (As Still It Is Cake) - Mia

Wish We Could Go Out For Coffee But You Hate Me And I Hate Coffee - Aurora @ Silas lmao

This Will Hurt You More Than It’ll Hurt Me - And That’s Okay! - iris, Mahira, Zoya, Duran, Elio

Father I Do Not Wish To Consume The Cough Syrup - Wyn

I’m Always At Least A Little Bit Scared Hopeless And Frustrated - Violet, Alma, Fleda

The Annoying Whisper In The Back Of Your Head - Aurora, Xenon, Emile, Luka, Alma

The Shadow Out The Corner Of Your Eye - Xenon, Emile, Fleda

Can You Help Me Find What’s Wrong With Me - Aurora, Xenon, Fleda

Wasting Your Life Feeling Like An Underperforming Tool In Someone Else’s Hands - Violet, Emile, Luka

An Unhealthy Relationship With One’s Own Identity - Aurora, Violet, Xenon, Luka, Fleda

Men Like Us Aren’t Supposed To Feel These Things - Emile, Luka

My Lungs Are Full Of Ink - Violet (Overblot)

I’m Just A Normal Functioning Member Of The Human Race And There Is No Way Anyone Can Prove Otherwise - Emile, all of the seven brothers eep

How To Completely Disapp8ar Be Found And Never - Fleda

When I Was A Small Child I Held An Iguana Once - Duran

A Classmate Of Mine Once Borrowed One Of My Pens And Then Decided It Was Such A Good Pen He’s Just Gonna Keep It - Violet (salty to this day)

Sconce Doesn’t Sound Like A Word To Me But It Is One - Alma

Sorry That Your Rant About How The Game I Like Ruined The Whole Series Forever Didn’t Make Me Like It Any Less - Fleda

Wishing To Rant About Fanfiction But Not Wanting To Show How Much Of A Nerd You Secretely Are - Alma

The Eye Lips Eye Emoji Face Fills Me With Unbridled Rage - Luka

Doctors Say You Need A Consistent Amount Of Sleep To Be Healthy So I Consistently Sleep For 4 Hours A Night - Fleda

What Will It Take For You To Give Up Your Humanity And Become One With The Night - Xenon

The Price Of Wisdom Is Bad Grammar - Aurora, Alma

The Eternal Dance Set To The Sweet Melody Of My Out-Of-Tune Guitar - Aurora, Wyn

Don’t Aspire To Be Average You Can Go So Much Lower - Duran

The Privilege Of Being Born Somebody Else - Aurora, Emile

My Favourite Ride In The Theme Park Is A Bench - Luka, Duran

I Apologize If You Found Finding This Place Difficult But You Must Understand I Am Currently Evading Detection And Arrest For Crimes Undisclosed - Iris, Mahira, Emile

So Good At Sleeping I Could Do It With My Eyes Closed - Duran

Your Teeth (Hand Them Over) - Aurora (I can imagine them saying this for funsies)

Why Are You Sleeping In The Algae Pond - Irene @ her merfolk friends (Why can I imagine Mia, Chandani, and Xue Mei sleeping in an algae pond in their merforms?)

Write Your Love In The Blood Coursing Through My Veins - Violet, Emile, Gaius

Please Relieve Me Of The Dreams Plaguing My Every Waking Moment - Aurora, Alma (Daydreaming!)

And If You Thought It Was A Threat It Might Have Been - Mahira

Find Yourself In The Patterns On The Wall - Xenon

Putting On A Show To Seem Alive / When I Don’t Feel Alive - Aurora, Iris, Emile, Luka, Elio

Time Has Stopped Passing A Long Time Ago - Xenon

Once Again A Cold Rainy Winter Gives Way To A Cold Rainy Spring - Aurora, Xenon, Luka

You Made Me The Villain Of Your Story Darling Now Own Up To It Won’t You - Violet, Mahira, Emile

It’s Past My Bedtime And I’m Thinking Of You - Aurora, Violet

Oh Baby Don’t You Know Our Sort Is Locked Out Of Heaven - Mahira, Emile

There’s No ‘You’ In 'My Cup Of Tea' - Violet @ Joules lmao

You Have To Stop Making So Many Enemies - Luka, exasperated (This actually applies to Aurora, Iris, and Elio)

You Have This Power Inside And It’s Frightening - Slyvan, Mahira, Irene, Gaius

All The Things You Did Before You Did Them - Xenon

My Overconfidence Is Astounding And It’s A Surprise I’ve Never Been Killed - Aurora

Too Cool To Sleep At A Reasonable Hour - Aurora, Alma, Fleda

You Smell Like Nonsense With A Hint Of Melancholy - Aurora, Xenon

Crying Because Cats Are Cute And Deserve The World - Mia

I’m Sick But The Bags Under My Eyes Are Sicker - Aurora

Forever Dizzy In This Lonely World - Xenon, Fleda

Remember When We Would Stay Up All Night Reading Fanfic On Our Phones - Aurora, Alma

I Don’t Check My Email In Fear Someone Tried To Contact Me Via Email - Fleda

Feelings Of An Almost Human Nature - Xenon

Can’t Let It Slip That There’s More To Me Than Little Old I - Emile

A Sense Of Failure Wasting Away And Never Living Up To Your Full Potential Unable To Get Things Done And Putting Everything Off Because You Are Scared Of Progress - Aurora, Iris, Duran, Alma

Seeing The Future In The Tear Stains On Your Cheeks - Xenon

You Are A Dream In A Crowd Of Nightmares - Slyvan, Wyn

Do Not Invite Me To Your DnD Party Unless You Are Ready To Accept The Consequences - Aurora, Iris, Zoya, Alma

When It Comes To Near Death Experiences I’m An Expert - Aurora, Xenon, Emile

You Know How Sometimes An Unwanted Guest Comes Over And You Do All You Can To Make Them Leave While Remaining Polite - Slyvan, Iris, Mahira, Irene, Emlyn

You’re The First Descendant In A Line Of Workaholics Utterly Convinced Your Willingness To Sacrifice Your Own Health Determines Your Worth As A Human Being And Promptly Working Yourself To Death To Provide Unto Others What You Never Had A Chance To Understand You Deserved Yourself - Violet, Emile, Luka

So Far Throughout My Life I Got Mildly Electrocuted On Three Separate Occasions - Aurora, Xenon, Fleda

Leaving The Fridge At 3 In The Morning - Aurora, Alma, Fleda, Elio

Peach Yoghurt Tastes Better With Whipped Cream - Wyn

Thinking About Him (The Enlightened Prophet) - Xenon

My Brain Operates On Frequencies You’ve Never Even Heard Of - Aurora, Xenon

My Computer Chair Broke So Now I’m Stuck Here Leaning To The Right - Fleda

People Ask Me How I Manage To Think Of You Everyday And To Be Completely Honest I Never Know What To Say Because It Feels So Natural - Slyvan @ Pollux, Zoya @ Noah

What Flavour Is Your Mind - Aurora, Xenon

Being Told I’m Allowed To Make My Final Class Project About Any Topic I Want Awakens A Demon Inside Me That Makes Me Subject My Classmates To Only The Finest Of My Obscure Interests - Aurora, Xenon, Irene, Alma, Fleda

Standing In Front Of Me She Quickly Undressed Confessing Her Desire To Cause Me Physical Harm And Needless To Say I Was Baffled But Nonetheless Intrigued - Mahira, Emile

The Only Thing Greater Than My Ego Is My Impostor Syndrome - Aurora, Iris, Emlyn

The Cons Of Being My Friend Greatly Outweigh The Pros - Aurora, Xenon, Luka, Duran, Fleda

You Can Stay At My Place But You’ll Never Find Me There - Aurora, Xenon, Emile, Alma, Emlyn

Murder And Other Expressions Of Love - Mahira, Emile

You Locked Me In A Cage And Threw Away The Key And When You Found Someone Better I Was Left To Gnaw On The Bars For My Freedom - Emile, Luka

What Do You MEAN There Was A Fire - Irene, Luka

Go To Sleep In The Morning And Wake Up At Noon Only To Go Back To Sleep Till Evening And Wake Up Full Of Regret And With A Headache - Fleda

This Man Shoved His Face In a Tub Of Soap Bubbles - What Happened Next May Surprise You - Wyn

The Little People At The Bottom Of The Ocean - Iris, Violet

Go Ahead And Floor It Luv - Iris, Emile

A Toast To Our Special Little Brand Of Sin - Mahira, Emile, Emlyn

Even The Mushrooms Mourn Losing You - Xenon

[sukirichi]

rude boy

— As the captain of the volleyball team, you have to set a good example of staying firm to your rule of not dating the male players...but perhaps you’re willing to bend the rules a little bit when a rude boy is kind enough to show you why you’re wrong.

CONTENT/WARNINGS. smut, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), hard!dom suna, slight exhibitionism, doggy style, overstimulation, mild breeding kink, cumplay, implied size kink, degradation with praising kink (LOL), soft! aftercare suna

NOTE. oh hell yeah we’re turning into a haikyuu blog. i can’t believe i’m writing for a character i haven’t even met yet but hey SUNA RINTAROU SUPREMACY. I’m in love with him, maybe much more than I like Akaashi, but can you blame? he’s sexy AF. tagging @noritoshiikamo​

SONG INSPOS. Rude Boy, Disturbia, Where Have You Been All My Life (Rihanna)

Win after win, your school is glorious and honourable once more. Not only did the men’s volleyball team, but as the captain of the women’s team, you proudly carried awards just as they did.

You’re on the dance floor, hazily dancing to the beat with your red cup already empty. It’s rare that people organized after parties but you made it Nationals this time around; surely it’s not too bad to let everyone let loose. Besides, the managers weren’t around and everyone seemed to be having fun, bringing in their plus ones or making out with their fellow teammates.

You scowl at the sight. The one thing you hate the most is breaking formalities and relationship autonomies – everyone knows that you have one strict rule: No dating the players for the men’s team.

Naturally, your team members are more than flabbergasted. The male players are gorgeous after all, but you’ve grown up with the Miya twins; you know beauty could never be enough of a reason for your precious teammates to be used for pleasure and dumped to the side once they’ve had their fill. You all have a bright future ahead of you, with goals and dreams to be fulfilled; one that you won’t allow to be trampled upon by these men.

You’re about to head back to the kitchen for another drink when someone holds you in place, large, calloused hands gripping at your hips. You’re about to elbow the intruder when the familiar scent of musky spicy cologne, mixed with sweat and something that was solely him, you relaxed.

“Can’t keep your hands to yourself for the whole party, Suna?”

“You’re here,” his bored, deep voice is sultry as it coos in your ear. Unable to help yourself, you shiver at his touch, your back pressed against the warmth of his chest. “I don’t see a reason to.”

“You’re a little touchy tonight,” you comment, the glare of your eyes softening as the alcohol loosens the usual composed and strict captain in you, falling back into his touches that tell a promise of something more later. Maybe it was the music, maybe it was because you miss him too – whatever it was, you’re grinding onto his front, the middle blocker humming as a warning in your ear not to tease him too much. You being you though, you only push back harder, allowing him to set the pace by squeezing your waist. “You act like you don’t see me all the time.”

“Doesn’t mean I get to feel you all the time,” his voice turns husky, the mere sound of his voice mixing with the party’s music increasing your arousal. You breathe sharply when Suna cups your core experimentally, thankful that his body is big enough to hide what he’s doing. “Upstairs?”

“Here, Suna? In a party?”

“Can you wait until we get home?” he taunts, chuckling when he sees the way your lips press into a thin line. “As I thought.”

Tch, he doesn’t have to be so cocky about it.

Suna leads you upstairs before pushing you inside the closest empty room, his lips hands everywhere on you the moment the back of your knees hit the bed. He’s eager and needy, his arousal evident from how he’s bucking the tent in his pants against your hands. His tongue prods you to open your mouth, and just to tease him, you refuse him access, slipping your hands inside his pants instead to swipe a thumb over his thumb.

He growls at your teasing, retaliating by pinching your boob followed by a flick over your nipple. Suna isn’t only an expert at volleyball; he’s a master of your body too, able to play you and hit the right spots all the fucking time.

He’s aware of this when he finally gets what he wants – a shocked moan from you that nearly makes you fall back on the bed if it wasn’t for his other hand tugging at your wrist to slam you back to his body. Suna doesn’t waste his time in kissing you, sucking on your tongue until you both start fighting for dominance. Just as he’s lost and crazed by the pent up sexual frustration of watching one another play at court today – to see the other so close yet so far away – you swallow his small, little groans into your mouth, your hand eagerly pumping and spreading his pre-cum all over the base of his shaft.

Suna’s cock twitches into your palm, prompting you to squeeze the length at the same time you bite down on his lip. Hard.

His eyes snap open moments before he comes, his touch rough and even bruising when he pushes your arm away from his. As if a switch has been flipped inside him, his eyes have grown darker, his hands running down your form hungry and even animalistic.

Your eyes widen when Suna goes down on his knees, deft fingers tugging at the waistband of your shorts. “S-Suna, what’re you doing—”

“Shh, I want to taste you,” your hands find home in his hair as he helps you shimmy out of those tight, ass-hugging material that had him rock hard during your whole match. He wants to punish you for it, for nearly distracting him when it was his turn to play; the fact you’re always so unaware of the effect you have over him downright offensive. He has other plans in mind though, plans you’re about to discover when Suna suddenly licks at the swollen nub through your panties, making your thighs shiver. “Haven’t seen this pretty pussy in a long time,” he buries his face in your cunt, taking a huge whiff of the intoxicating scent of your arousal.

It’s almost perverted, you think, the way he’s rolling your hardened clit between his teeth, relishing in the way you’re falling apart for him like this, legs spread wide open.

Suna keeps you steady by squeezing your ass closer to his face until his nose is prodding at your lips, the sounds of your pretty moans and whines erotic enough that he feels like busting a nut right then and there. He holds back though, pulling away to breathe just to bite the lace down your legs. The whole time, he keeps his fox-like eyes on yours that are pooled with lust and something carnal, the grazing of his teeth collecting heat to pool at your core.  

With two long fingers pulling your lips apart just for his eyes, he licks at your blossoming sex, pulling groans from both of you when he dives into your even harder.

Suna’s tongue is lapping at your dripping juices while you look down at him, pupils blown wide just as he smirks, he actually fucking smirks under you, his tongue suddenly plunging inside your sopping hole.

Your scream is muffled at the last moment when you bite down on your lip hard enough to draw blood, the nails digging into his scalp making him hiss.

Nevertheless, Suna doesn’t stop, drinking all you can give him while his tongue laps at your walls. The warm, wet muscle exploring each inch of you has you grinding against his face, shameless as you fuck yourself harder on his tongue. Suna chuckles at your actions, the vibrations pushing you over the edge.

He can tell you’re cumming when you start to clamp down on him, the flowing of your arousal easily cleaned up with tight, consistent sweeps of his tongue.

Your eyes are shut tight as you prolong your orgasm by grinding your pelvic bone shamelessly on his cum-stained face. Then your legs wobble until you’re falling, shaking, but Suna pushes you down completely on the bed.

Your breathing is ragged once you see that he’s crawling above you in the same manner a predator stalks his prey, his smirk nothing but devilish while your juices spread on his cheeks gleam under the dim lights.

Suna uses one hand to discard your shirt before throwing it to other side of the room, one knee to pry your legs apart. Your eyes dart down to the sports bra you wore, not sexy at all especially with the Nike logo, and your cheeks warm at the realization. Arms coming up to hide yourself, you fail when Suna slaps your hands away, glaring at you.

“Stop covering yourself. You don’t have to wear lingerie to for me all the time – you know I’d fuck you either way.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to be shy when he rips the bra apart, mouth latched onto one nipple. You gasp when he plunges three fingers in, definitely different to his usual routine of prepping you, and you’re being stretched open by his fingers a little too fast that you’re clutching on his bicep to catch your breath.

“F-Fuck, Suna, can’t even be a little gentle? What happened to foreplay?”

“I’m tired from winning match by match today, baby. Being gentle is the last thing on my mind when you’re splayed out for me like this,” he pulls away just to release his fingers from you, twisting his hand back to back to grin pervertedly at the way your cum slicks his hand. Using that exact same hand, Suna covers his length with it as he hovers over you, pushing the tip of his cock past your lips.

He immediately notices the way you hitch your breath, fingers clutching desperately at the sheets as you struggle to accommodate for him despite already being so wet.

He was just so thick and feels so good – it’s always a challenge not to cum all the while he’s entering you. “Don’t look at me like that. You’ve taken me before,” he reminds you, hooking his arm under your knees before he stretches you further, your thighs flat on your chest. You gasp at the new sensation of feeling him so deep inside you, his whole practically atop your calves as he thrusts inside experimentally. “Come on, you’ll take this big cock like a good girl, won’t you?”

“S-Suna.”

“You feel even better than usual,” he praises you, his eyes narrowed and hazy with pleasure as he continues fucking into you. His thrusts are slow yet deep, bottoming out with each time that he knocks the wind off your lungs, successfully hitting that sacred, sweet sensitive spot inside you that only he could ever reach.

Suna smirks at the apparent pleasure written all over your face, teasing you further by grabbing the flesh of your hips while he drives his cock deeper. “You’re just clamping down on me like a bitch in heat,” he notes to mock you, but he wasn’t free of this pleasurable torture as well, not when your walls sucked him in greedily that it took most of his energy just to pull out from your grip. It must be because you’re exerted from today’s match just as he is, and Suna spreads one leg to the side, your knee pressed beside your head. “Muscle cramps? Can’t say I mind.”

“Shut up, Suna.”

“I think you need to shut up,” he stuffs his fingers in your mouth, his chuckles formed in stuttered breaths when you clamp down on him. “Clenching harder on me now? Didn’t peg you for someone who liked this shit,” Suna, having always been perceptive to your smallest reactions, leans over to you to cup your cheek, the tenderness in his eyes a huge contrast to how he’s filling you up to the brim, his hips delirious and delicious with each snap. “You’re just a dirty little whore, aren’t you? So good for me.”

“S-Suna,” you begin to reach for him, feeling that welcomed tightening of your stomach. You never like to admit it out loud, but you and Suna know you’re always so clingy and starved for touches when you’re about to him.

Your lips are puckered out, arms wrapping around his head to pull him in for a kiss when Suna smirks. He knows exactly what you want – and that’s exactly what you’re not gonna get.

He flips you until you’re flat on your stomach, encircling your waist to pull your ass flat against the ticklish hairs resting at the base of his cock, his pelvic bone snapping against your backside. You cry out at the new position, the need to touch him painfully deprived until you’re sobbing on the pillows, wanting nothing more than to kiss him as you came.

Suna Rintaro really is rude.

You came first before him, drool spilling from your lips when you’re left with no other choice but to fist the sheets. Suna’s groans are guttural, his usual pace of fucking you slowly now turns carnal. Sounds of skin slapping and his balls hitting your ass cheeks echo around the room, the sounds too loud that you both fail to hear the rushed footsteps and giggles until the door opens.

Suna feels you tense under him, the crashing waves of your orgasm dulled by the panic rising in your chest. You know he’s covering you, but your heart absolutely lurches in your chest when Suna only continues, scoffing at whoever entered the room.

You scramble to move yourself off him but Suna only holds you down, his palm flat behind your head, arms pinned at the small of your back until you’re completely incapacitated. Once again, Suna’s proved that he’s a man of control, especially when it comes to your body. He won’t fail to remind you again and again that your body is not yours – it has always been his and will always be his.

Once he starts moving again, deliberately and painfully slow to emphasize the embarrassing shlick coming from your pussy, Suna smirks at the new guests. “Rooms taken, idiot – find someplace else.”

“Fuck, is that the captain for the girl’s team?”

You bite down on your lip upon hearing Atsumu’s voice, desperate to prevent the sinful moans to be heard past your lips. You’ve built quite a reputation for being sharp tongued and even wicked when it comes to being strict – to have him hear of all people that his teammate could easily break you like this would be beyond damaging both to your pride and reputation.

Suna glares at the golden-haired boy who’s now forgotten the girl hanging off his arm, his head tilting past Suna’s uniformed frame fucking deep into you.

He could hear it, could hear the sloppy squelching of your sopping cunt, could even hear the way Suna’s breath sharpens, but he wants to see it, to witness this atrocity. Suna, however, wasn’t having any of it.

His possessive grip is intensified with the nails digging into your wrists when he only fucks into your harder, his feet now planted on the mattress as if to mark his territory. “Don’t look at my bitch. She’s mine,” he growled, pulling you by the hair until your head is splayed all over his shoulder, your breasts bouncing from the speed he’s ramming into you at. “Now leave.”

“Suna, don’t be fucking rude.”

The door closes afterwards, but not free from comments from Atsumu on how you had a pretty ass. This ticks Suna off, licking stripe down your neck and up your jaw, nose buried into the crook of your neck to memorize your scent coated with sex hanging off the air.

“You’d rather have them watch?” he slaps your ass, your moan whiny and pornographic – you were really truly different than what you want people to think of you. “Of course you’d like that, filthy slut,” he nibbles at your ear, reaching forward to rub at your clit until you’re shaking again, your second orgasm just looming around the corner. “But I don’t want to share you, baby. Now fuck yourself on my cock like the whore you are.”

He shoves you flat on the mattress again, your forearms weak as you heave your weight upwards. Your head is thrown to the side, back arched down low as you follow his command like a good whore as he’s called you. You gyrate your hips to swirl your pussy around his thick pole, pushing backwards again and again until you’re gasping, shaking, trembling and utterly fucked out.

Your pace is nothing compared to what Suna is capable off, but he’s tense, jealous even that he wants to assure himself he’s the one who could get you to feel this way, even if it meant giving you all the work alone.

“What’re you gonna do now that everyone knows about us?” he asks through gritted teeth, placing his hands at your hips just to steady yourself. Suna’s eyes are zeroed in on the way his length disappears around your pretty lips, so open and puffy as you use his dick to pleasure you. He takes pride at the way you moan, back arching and little growls on your lips when he finally snaps his hips, meeting you thrust by thrust.

“Are you finally giving into me?” he asks again for what seems like the hundredth time ever since he’s laid his eyes on you, thumb flicking over your clit again. You cry out as he does so, uncaring of the strain when your arms reach out behind him, touching him this time around. Suna allows you to do so, hugging your waist to pull you into him, pressing open-mouthed kisses to yours while you moan left and right.

You’re sweating, eyes shut tight and fingers calloused from years of playing volleyball pinching at your own slips. You look so lewd every time you’re thinking of nothing else but the pleasure he’s giving you and Suna grows harder inside you, his thrusts rough along with another slap to your ass.  

“Fuck, yeah, just like that. You look so gorgeous bent over for me, you know, might as well just be officially mine.”

You manage to scoff through the pleasure, ignoring the way your heart flutters when Suna interlaces his fingers with yours above your breast, the both of you caressing the flesh tenderly. “I told you already, I’m never dating you.”

“And why not?” he challenges, the grip on your hips tightening again. “Who do you run to when you’re sad? Who do you bother when you’re happy? Who makes you feel good and fills you to the brim when your fingers just aren’t getting you off?” Unsatisfied with your silence, Suna snaps his hips harder, his grin wicked when you scream again, his name falling off your lips like a prayer – which is ironic, since he’s the one always worshipping you despite his need to be in control. “Isn’t it always me? Just say yes, baby, I’d get to do this to you all the time. You’re already fucking yourself on my cock like you’re my whore – what’s holding you back?”

“You’ll fuck me good if I say yes?”

“Aren’t I already?” To prove a point, Suna thrusts up deep and hard enough that he’s hitting your sweet spot again, a fucked out smile rewarding him afterward.

“But you’re a rude, rude person, Suna, oh, fuck,” Suna pinches your clit that makes you snap your eyes open, a seductive glare sent his way when he teases you. “See what I’m – ugh – talking about?”

“Then I’ll be nice for once,” he promises me, his thrusts growing sloppy as he pushes you over the edge. Your mouth hangs open in a silent, breathy sob – hands gripping at his thighs when the mere slipping of his length past your walls and kissing your cervix with each thrust pushes tears out of your eyes. Suna leans down to sloppily kiss away the tears, jaw clenched as he feels you tighten around him.  “Cum for me. I’m allowing you to cum. Maybe I’ll fuck you again when we get home if you’re good enough. Fuck, gonna breed this pussy so good, you’ll be so fucking full.”

Your nails scratches blood moons into his skin, right at the spot that isn’t covered by his shorts anymore. Usually, he’s careful when it comes to markings that could affect his play, but you’re so pretty crying as you cream around his neck that tonight he doesn’t care.

Suna groans as you milk him dry with the way your walls are hallowing and clenching around him, making the tall player fall forward above you on the bed, his cum sputtering inside of you. His groans are deep and so fucking sexy right next to your ear, thumb absentmindedly still rubbing at your clit. You’re both panting as he slowly pulls out, the gush of both your cum dripping all the way down your ass. He snickers at the sight and swoops two fingers down, the heated and hard press of his fingers against your sensitive pussy sending chills everywhere in your body.

You’re about to complain as Suna pushes his cum inside you, but he silences you with a kiss, spreading the cum all around your lips until you’re a complete, sticky mess down there. You grimace at the sensation but Suna is moving beside you the next moment, his arms heavy across your breasts.

You blink when Suna presses affectionate kisses on the blades of your shoulder, wiping the remnants of cum across the sheets before tangling your legs with his. You frown in confusion but turn to him anyway, breathing in that cologne sticking to his skin that you love so much.

“I’m not used to you cuddling me.”

Suna smiles at the crown of your head, shifting lower so he could squish his cheeks at the flesh of your breasts. You watch as his usual bored face lights up happily like a kid with ice cream as he kisses the sides of your breast, hands gentle and delicate in making swirls over your hip. He’s almost...unrecognizable. “You should. This is going to be one of the privileges of dating me.”

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

“You will.”

His declaration is so self assured – as he always is – that you roll your eyes, threading your fingers through his sweat-matted hair. “How are you so sure I even like you back, dummy?”

“Because you’ve got no reason not to,” is all he murmurs on your skin, and well...he isn’t wrong about it, but you scoff anyway, thankful that his eyes are closed so he can’t see your smile. “Now shut up. Just hearing your voice makes me hard again and I don’t think I can go for another round. I’m beat.”

Perhaps...Suna Rintaro wasn’t such a rude boy, after all.

[searidings]

Lena definitely just lets Jess walk into her office without knocking and that has definitely led to her walking in on Lena in Supergirl’s arms

Jessica Hoang’s job pays well.

Like, really well. Like, buy-your-mother-a-new-Valentino-purse-every-Christmas well. Surprise-your-boyfriend-with-a-trip-to-the-Bahamas well. Rub-your-success-in-your-high-school-nemeses’-face-at-the-reunion-but-like-in-a-classy-way well.

And it’s not that it’s exactly unreasonable. Being Lena Luthor’s assistant is no cake walk. Jess has been shot at. She’s been almost blown up on more than one occasion. She’s worked all the hours god sends and then some. Hell, she’s got the chief detective of NCPD’s major crimes unit on speed dial.

She has, at various times and with varying degrees of success, played the roles of bodyguard, nutritionist, nurse, therapist, and drinking buddy. She’s seen Lena in every shade and hue of human emotion; coaxed her through crisis after crisis with warm words and a kind smile and never once let her miss a meeting.

So, Jess doesn’t really mind accepting the generous salary. Has even made peace with the borderline obscene bonuses Lena likes to toss her way around Christmas, or her birthday, or any time Jess introduces her to a new kale recipe.

She’s not arrogant, but she’s not prone to under-selling herself either. She knows Lena values her, knows she’s integral to keeping L-Corp’s CEO afloat and thus, to the running of the whole operation. And more than that, she knows her own worth. Takes pride in the work she does.

So she’ll take the paycheck, and the late nights and the missed meals and all the other things that come part and parcel with employment in National City’s most conspicuous company.

And if those other things come to include a front row ticket to the tragicomedy of her boss’ relationship with a certain blonde reporter, so be it. She’s not about to quit, after all. Once she’d gotten a taste of sleeping on Egyptian cotton bed sheets, there was no going back.

-

It started with the unrestricted office access.

Actually, it started when Lena allergic-to-the-press Luthor first asked her to put in a call to the biggest news outlet in town to request a private meeting with one of their junior reporters, but Jess lets that one slide.

(She’s got her own hunk of a man to go home to every night, yet even she’s not immune to Miss Danvers’ button down and slacks combo, to her earnest blue eyes and eager charm. Lena can’t be blamed for falling under that spell, nor for the hypnotic allure of the muscles straining beneath those demure cardigans. She’s only human, after all.)

But adding Kara Danvers to the list of people to be waved straight into her boss’ office with no checks – or rather, creating said list, which to this day consists of precisely one name – was what really sealed the deal. It was portentous in every sense of the word, a harbinger of what was to come.

Since that fateful day, Jess has seen more of Lena and Kara’s relationship than she’s sure any of the three of them would ideally prefer.

At first, it was the interviews. They’d been fishy enough in themselves; sure, Lena Luthor is objectively interesting. But three separate articles in the span of two weeks? No one’s that interesting.

After the interviews, it was the lunch dates. The first time she’d interrupted one of those she’d almost fallen over her own feet in shock. The sight of Lena Luthor – the same Lena Luthor that Jess had, on more than one occasion, needed to actively bribe into ingesting anything other than espresso and scotch in a fourteen hour workday – licking burger grease off her fingers and happy as a clam, had thrown her off for the whole rest of the day.

(Lena had long since instructed Jess to just stick her head into her office without knocking if she needed her. “Things can go to hell far too quickly around here to waste time with buzzers and intercoms,” she’d said with a self-deprecating smile.

If only Jess had known then what she knows now, she might have put up more of a fight on that front.)

The lunch dates had gotten longer, and more frequent, and decidedly more intimate. A year after the reporter’s first appearance at L-Corp it had become commonplace for Jess to walk into her boss’ office to find the two of them slanted close together on the couch, Lena’s heels discarded, her stockinged feet tucked beneath the blonde’s thigh.

Then, Kara started showing up at 7pm to drag Lena away from her desk at a reasonable hour. Started dropping by on her way to Catco before work too, fumbling coffees and pastries in her blushing grip.

(She always brought a latte for Jess along with Lena’s regular order. Of all the developments, that was certainly one of the most welcome.)

She got to know Kara, as the years went on. Was pleased to discover that she truly was as delightful as she seemed. And it was nice to finally have an ally in her ongoing battle to regulate her boss’ shockingly unhealthy work habits. She and Kara could tag-team their efforts, trading off caffeine duty and playing bad cop to get Lena to leave the office before midnight. It meant that Jess had finally, occasionally, gotten a day off.

It didn’t escape her notice that Kara was always there on the bad days. She showed up like clockwork after every ruthless smear campaign against L-Corp, every stock market plummet, every assassination attempt. She would enter the office to find Lena crying and she would leave with the dark haired woman tucked securely against her side, if not smiling then at least calm. At least hopeful.

And Kara was there on the good days, too. The mergers and the product launches and the prototype successes; she celebrated every one of Lena’s triumphs as if they were her own. And Lena, Lena lit up when Kara was around. Bloomed like a rare flower beneath the megawatt glare of Kara’s sunshine devotion.

Her boss never said so in so many words, nor did Jess ever walk in on anything directly incriminating. But it was clear to anyone with eyes exactly what was happening between the two women, exactly where it would lead.

And then one day, Kara wasn’t there anymore.

-

The effect was as obvious as it was immediate.

Lena started coming in early and staying late, if she left the office at all. She barely ate. Her face was pale and drawn, and Jess would often enter her office to find her boss’ eyes red-rimmed.

It became glaringly, painfully obvious that without Kara dropping by at all hours of the day and night, no one was coming to visit Lena.

Her boss became closed-off and withdrawn, more so even than when Jess had first started at L-Corp. Gone were their weekly gossip sessions about the crotchety old men Lena couldn’t yet oust from the company’s board. Gone was her boss’ openness about her own life or her interest in Jess’, her frequent requests for photos of her cats or updates on the master’s in computer science she was studying for in the evenings evaporating into thin air.

Lena did not want to talk about it. Jess was informed of this emphatically and repeatedly whenever she would tentatively reach out, and slowly she stopped trying.

The closest they ever came to acknowledging the elephant in the room was the night of L-Corp’s annual fundraiser at the Luthor Children’s Hospital. Once the gala was over, Jess had run back to the office to drop off the donation paperwork in the company safe only to notice a faint light beneath Lena’s office door.

She’d entered to find Lena hunched on the floor of her private bathroom, heels kicked off and hair falling out of its intricate updo, mascara streaking her cheeks as she sobbed into her hands. Jess hadn’t hesitated for even a second before sinking down beside her.

Wrapping a secure arm around her boss’ shoulders and smoothing the flyaway hairs from her flushed face, she’d tried her best to convey the support and reassurance that Lena had so consistently shown to her. But the young woman had brushed off her platitudes even as the tears had continued to fall.

“It’s not okay,” she’d hiccupped against Jess’ shoulder, the scotch evident on her breath. “She’s gone. I won’t ever get her back.”

And that’s all she would say on the matter. Eventually, the tears had dried up and the exhaustion had set in and Jess had chaperoned her all the way back to her apartment and into bed.

Lena had shown up for work the next day in a pair of oversize aviators, clinging to her triple shot extra-large americano like a lifeline. She’d dropped a latte on Jess’ desk with a rueful smile, and that had been that. They never talked about it again.

-

That whole dark period only cemented the strong protective streak Jess had been cultivating over her boss ever since the very first attempt on her life.

It’s just that Lena is strong, and smart as hell and unfailingly kind and utterly undeserving of the punishment the world keeps foisting on her for her family’s sins. And worse, she’s not prepared to fight back. She just accepts it, internalises the hatred and the burden and the blame and Jess cannot, will not watch it happen. So sue her if she’s a little hyper-vigilant, a little possessive.

And so when Kara Danvers had shown up again one unassuming Tuesday, Jess intercepted her trajectory at Lena’s office door with narrowed eyes and a suspicious glare.

It must have been effective – she’d learned from stone cold boardroom killer Lena Luthor, after all – because the reporter shrank back a little beneath the force of her stare. Kara cleared her throat nervously and Jess had been a split second from launching into a what are your intentions with my girl speech ripped straight from a bad 1980s teen movie when the door opened behind her and Lena appeared.

“It’s fine, Jess,” her boss murmured and she had, reluctantly, stepped aside to let the blonde pass. Not before fixing Kara Danvers with one last pointed glare, though. If Lena wasn’t going to protect herself then Jess would just have to do it for her.

But there was no shouting, no screaming, no audible arguments. And when the blonde left a half hour later and Jess stuck her head through the office door to very unsubtly check on Lena’s wellbeing, there was no trace of red-rimmed eyes or tear stains. Lena simply offered up a small smile, a soft smile and once again, that appeared to be that.

Slowly, Kara Danvers became a regular fixture in L-Corp again, alongside the fancy espresso machines in every break room and the ever-present whiff of soldered metal.

Jess remained wary, a fact which did not seem to go unnoticed by the reporter. In fact, Kara redoubled her efforts to win her over, including new pastries and other sweet treats with the lattes she still regularly delivered.

“I can’t be bought, you know,” Jess had said once, taking the offered apricot Danish anyway. Her loyalty wasn’t up for auction, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t capitalise on the spoils of a bidding war.

Kara had only smiled sadly. “I know. I’m glad.” At Jess’ inquisitive stare she’d just shaken her head, reaching up to adjust her glasses. “I’m glad she has you.”

Jess had hmphed rather ungracefully, licking a stray flake of pastry from the end of her finger. She may have broken her boss’ heart, but no one could deny that Kara Danvers had great taste in desserts.

“I’m not looking for her forgiveness. Or yours,” Kara had continued, so surprising that Jess had inhaled a healthy gulp of latte directly into her lung. The reporter had waited until she’d finished spluttering before she continued. “I don’t deserve it. But for what it’s worth, she has me, too. Again, I mean. For as long as she wants me.”

Jess had narrowed her eyes, searching for any trace of insincerity in that earnest, handsome face. Finding none, her feelings toward the reporter had at last settled somewhere in the ballpark of grudging respect.

And there they’ve remained. She still watches the blonde carefully, still keeps a wary eye out for any sign that things may crumble into dust again. But Kara is true to her word. She shows up, she keeps showing up, and she sticks around.

And slowly, achingly slowly, the light comes back to Lena’s eyes.

-

It’s just another regular unassuming Tuesday when everything shifts again.

Kara Danvers hasn’t yet shown up for lunch and her boss’ conference call was scheduled to have ended a half hour ago, and this stack of expense reports desperately needs Lena’s signature so Jess doesn’t bother knocking as she shoulders open the office door.

A lesser assistant might have shrieked. They’d definitely have dropped the gargantuan stack of reports all over the floor. But Jessica Hoang was trained by Lena Luthor herself. She’s got dignity and composure for days.

Even so, it takes every ounce of poise she can muster not to let out so much as a squeak at the sight of her boss hovering a solid five feet above the floor of her office, enveloped tightly in the arms of a fully kitted and caped Supergirl.

It’s an unavoidably intimate embrace. Lena’s stockinged feet perch lightly on the toes of the hero’s red boots, her arms wrapped snug around the Kryptonian’s neck. Their foreheads are pressed together and they’re just gazing into one another’s eyes, Supergirl’s arms slung low around Lena’s waist as she drifts them in lazy mid-air circles.

For one horrible, stomach-churning moment Jess is faced with the mind-boggling possibility that her boss is, for all intents and purposes, cheating on her reporter gal pal with the city’s superpowered sweetheart.

But equanimity isn’t the only talent she’s picked up from Lena. Her problem solving skills aren’t bad either, or so her boyfriend is fond of grumbling when she steals the Sunday crossword out from under his nose.

Jess uses the split second before they react to her presence to appraise the scene with a critical eye.

At this proximity, there’s something decidedly familiar about those blue eyes and flowing golden locks. But the real clincher doesn’t end up coming from Supergirl at all. It’s the softness in her boss’ expression, the gentle slant of her features and the unguarded love in her eyes in the brief moment before she registers the interruption that really seals the deal.

Jess has, after all, seen Lena in every shade and hue of human emotion. The list of people her boss would look at like that, much like the list of people with unrestricted access to her office, consists of precisely one name.  

Two heads snap towards her in perfect tandem, two jaws hitting the floor in quick succession. Lena gasps and shoves herself away from Supergirl like the woman has suddenly become radioactive, apparently forgetting that she’s not currently abiding by the laws of terrestrial gravity and almost plummeting five feet to the ground.

She’s saved by the hero’s lightning fast reflexes, strong arms snapping out to catch her around the waist and pulling their bodies snugly back together into an embrace somehow even more intimate than the original.

Jess smirks. Lena’s cheeks are redder than she’s ever seen them as Supergirl floats them both gently back to the ground. “This isn’t— we were just— she’s not—” Lena tries half-heartedly as the superhero shuffles her feet at her side, blushing like a chastised schoolgirl.

Jess bites the inside of her cheek, calling upon every last shred of her professionalism to keep from laughing. “Your two o’clock is here,” she says gently, gracing her boss with a genuine smile. Jess may be proud of her own bullish protectiveness in front of others, but she’s a simple girl at heart. If Lena’s happy, she’s happy.

Both women are still staring at her slack-jawed. It appears no response is forthcoming any time soon.

Jess decides to put them out of their misery. “Just buzz when you want me to send him in, Miss Luthor. Miss Danvers,” she nods in acknowledgment as she ducks quickly back out of the room. Not quick enough, though, to miss the choked sounds of shock from behind her, nor the heated stage-whisper of how does she know, Lena? that follows her out of the door.

Jess shakes her head. And she doesn’t even have superhearing.

-

Lena Luthor has many strengths but subtlety, apparently, is not one of them.

That’s the conclusion Jess has no choice but to land on as she stares down at her phone. The extra 10k that has materialised in her bank account without warning or explanation could hardly be more obvious if it had come with the payee reference hush money right there in black and white.

Well. If Jess hadn’t been sure before, she certainly is now.

She shakes her head fondly. As if she would ever sell out her boss on anything, much less on what is very clearly a matter of the heart.

After all these years working together, she knows Lena trusts her. But she can also picture clear as day the scene that must have transpired in the office behind her just moments ago. Lena and Kara, panicking about being discovered. Lena falling back into her Luthor conditioning, deciding to clean up the mess by throwing money at it. The instant regret as she realises she’s just confirmed that there is in fact something to be covered up.

For a certified genius, her boss sure can be dense.

Jess chuckles. Taps out of her banking app and pulls up her messages. Your super secret’s safe with me she types, grinning. I’ve never told a soul that you were drunk as a skunk at the annual board meeting three years ago, and that was without a single dollar in bribes. Why would this be any different?

Hitting send, she swears she actually hears the sigh of relief her boss lets out despite the three inches of solid oak door separating them. She shakes her head again, biting her lip.

I’m happy for you, Lena she sends, warm affection swelling in her chest. Smiles when her screen lights up a moment later with a single red heart.

She locks her phone and squares her shoulders. Skims a critical eye over the weekly schedule she already knows by heart. Ushers in Lena’s two o’clock at her boss’ signal and settles back at her desk. Pulls up a new browser tab and searches up the cost of last-minute flights to the Maldives.

Just because Lena’s hush money was unnecessary, that doesn’t mean it can’t be put to good use.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

MARWA (WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (TV SERIES)) (CW: Mind Control, Domestic Abuse)

1.) okok so a major character (nandor) uses a genie wish to bring back the 37 wives he had when he was human (he’s a vampire who was turned in the 1400s but is alive in the modern day) to pick his favorite to live with and settles on marwa. she’s established as someone who’s passionate about science and mathematics, but nandor uses his genie wishes to essentially mold her into his perfect woman like a doll, from changing her hair color to making her not want to go to the night market with him to making her like all the things he likes. this culminates in him LITERALLY TRANSFORMING HER INTO A BRITISH MAN NAMED FREDDIE and that is her send off from the show. the treatment of her is disgusting i’m sorry for ranting i love wwdits but honestly the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth

2.) WHERE TO START my god. Marwa is introduced into the story as one of a crowd of women who are interchangeable to the man summoning them, WHO IS HER CANONICAL HUSBAND but he gives less than half a fuck about her, which is played for laughs. The writers made it completely unclear whether she is a real person or basically a magical simulation with no inner life and did not bother to clarify that at any point. Her plotline consists of her husband using magical wishes to modify various aspects of her body and mind and the writers never explore whether she is aware this is happening or not, much less how she might be experiencing it. It is a terrifying psychological horror story from her perspective but we are not given any insight into her perspective so who cares I guess!! For example, he wishes for her to have a rounder ass and then wishes that all of her preferences align perfectly with his own, so that she’ll stop nagging him about wanting different colored flowers at their wedding than him. There are SEVERAL more examples. Her experience of having all of her desires replaced with her husband’s desires shows up only for jokes, plus one moment that is used to confirm that her husband’s real love interest is one of the other male leads in the show. (I ship the two male characters, I’m not complaining about that, but like COME ON SHE WAS A HUMAN PERSON ONCE AND SHE IS LIVING IN A HORROR MOVIE AND THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH THAT???) THE WORST PART is that when it’s time for her to exit the story because her body and personality have already been essentially replaced by magic and she is now a boring toy, she is LITERALLY PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY transformed into a random British man so that her husband can have that guy as a love interest instead of her. She (he? It? Again it is never NEVER explored whether Marwa is like, alive inside this British man’s mind somehow? Or if she was ever really alive in her body?) moves to England to be in love with the original British man she was based off of, so basically her twin. This is also played for laughs. Her entire personality and body are not even killed off with like a death scene but literally ERASED FROM REALITY AND REPLACED WITH A COPY OF THIS SHITTY WHITE DUDE.

3.) (Context: Nandor is a vampire who has been alive for a while. When he was human he had 37 wives. (Btw some of the wives were men but that’s besides the point.))

She was brought back to life (along with a couple others) via Djinn wish just because Nandor wanted to have a ‘wife’ (some of the ‘wives’ are men). After being deemed the ‘best wife’ by Nandor she is the only one left alive. It is clear the entire fourth season that Nandor doesn’t care for her much and she is only there because Nandor wants to be married to someone. He ignores her wants and interests the whole season. Via another Djinn wish Nandor makes Marwa like everything he likes so she is more agreeable with him. Later on, he meets another character’s boyfriend named Freddie. Nandor basically falls for Freddie immediately and via Djinn wish, wishes Marwa to be exactly Freddie. :| With that wish, Marwa is effectively gone. She now looks and acts like Freddie. The two Freddies meet and after freaking out a little (and some magic) they get along because they like the same exact things. By the end of the season both Freddies are sent off to never be seen again. Also, Nandor has some extra Djinn wishes so he could’ve turned Marwa back but he didn’t.

Additional links: Article about the Freddie thing:

She likes what he likes:

Also This:

AZULA (AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER) (CW: Child Abuse, Ableism)

1.) Azula was totally screwed over by the writers of both the show, and its post-canon comics. When this fourteen year old abuse victim isn’t being portrayed as weirdly adult, she’s having her charecter massacred to make her precious older brother seem like a good guy for shoving her in an asylum. My girl deserved better than to be an extremely negative portrayal of mental illness who only exists to be a prop bad guy.

2.) I think everyone else has said it better than I can, but I’ll add that in the comics she’s shown to be heavily suffering from trauma and mental illness and she’s treated like she’s crazy and evil for having those issues, when her male relatives are supported

3.) Everyone hates for doing pretty much the same stuff zuko was doing pre-redemption (also the way people talk about her is so ableist)

[buttybarnes1917]

Innocence

Word Count: 2,089

Okay. First smut fic in a very long time. It might suck, but I’m going to try really hard to make it not suck.  

Ft. fem reader and rockstar!bucky. I feel like this is absolutely going to become an AU, so it’ll get it’s own header on my masterlist!!

Warnings: dirty talk, nickname (kitten), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, praise kink, somehow also a degradation kink, Bucky is obsessed with Readers innocence, minors dni

You rolled your eyes in disgust as you heard moaning coming from Bucky’s dressing room.  

Again.

God, he was literally insatiable.  It seemed like every show, he was pulling some girl backstage, kissing messily in the hallway as the rest of the crew worked around him and then inevitably the girl would end up in his dressing room or his bunk in the bus, which, literally made no sense considering how muscular he was.  Those bunks were so small.  But the girls would never stay for long, and then you would get the fun job of escorting her back to the audience, with her calling “call me!” to Bucky and Bucky already forgetting her name.

You leaned on the wall, sighing a little as you heard her moaning again and Bucky’s short grunts.  God. If he wasn’t so infuriating, he might even be hot.  

Oh, who were you kidding.  He was hot. Six foot three, at least, insane arm muscles from the hours upon hours of playing drums, long curly brown hair and tattoos that curled around his body, Bucky Barnes was everyone’s ideal bad boy.  On top of the fact that you had heard from the people on the crew that he had been with that he was… very well endowed.  

Natasha from lighting told you that he was more skilled with his fingers than a drummer should be, and that she was having trouble walking for days after her encounter with him.  Loki from rigging told you the way he used his tongue on them was “magical” and that they had trouble finding someone who could live up to that.  Steve from audio told you that he could find your weaknesses almost immediately and that he had “never been with someone who made him cum so many times”.  Which would have grossed you out, honestly, if you weren’t so impressed.  

The door opened and you pushed yourself off the wall, as the girl pulled her jacket over her shoulders, blushing as she saw you.  Bucky leaned on the doorframe and smirked at her.  

“You’ll call me next time you’re in town, right?”  She asked, giggling at him a little.  Your nose wrinkled a little as you smelled the weed on her, and you rolled your eyes.  

“Sure thing, doll.” He nodded.  You cleared your throat.  

“This way, hon, the show’s about to start,” you said softly and walked off with her. You gently pushed her through the curtain and security walked her to her seat.  You turned and sighed softly and bumped into Bucky. “Oh, I’m sorry.” You said quickly pushing yourself off him.  He grinned down at you.

“Not a problem, kitten,” he said.  You made a face.

“My name is y/n. Not kitten.” You corrected him, and he slowly smirked at you.

“Apologies, kitten.” He said again and you rolled your eyes, walking back toward the side stage.  He trailed along behind you.

“You’re the assistant tour manager or something, right?” he asked. “You’re always here late, setting shit up.”

“Yep.” You responded, your eyes on your clipboard as you walked.

“Don’t you ever do anything other than work?” he asked, snatching your clipboard away from you. You turned immediately and he held the clipboard over your head, laughing as you tried to grab it.  You punched him in the stomach, thinking he would bend over, and he just laughed more. “You call that a punch?”

“You’re an asshole.” You said, punching your fists to your hips.

“And you’re short.  Didn’t know we were saying obvious things,” he responded.  You both glanced over at the stage as you heard the stage manager call out that there were five minutes left until show time.  Bucky brought down the clipboard and you snatched it from his hand.

“Break a leg.” You said to him.  “Literally.” You turned walking away, shivering as you felt Bucky’s gaze on you.

 ******

 You sighed softly as you walked through the venue later that night, after the show was finished.  The band had only one more show in this building, but there had been consistent problems with the haze machines setting off the fire detectors.  Which by definition was not supposed to happen, since the haze mix was water based.  You assumed that the haze tech had just ordered whatever was cheapest and you wanted to double check that the machines were working properly.  As you pushed the door open, you heard drums from the stage and swore to yourself.  Of course, Bucky was here.  This night couldn’t get worse.  

You walked backstage and fiddled around with the machines, sighing as you did. The haze tech had ended up screwing up one of the machines with a mix of different hazes, so of course it was your job to fix it now.  The tour manager didn’t want to spend extra money, and you had been touring since you were a kid, your parents both a huge part of the industry.  

“Didn’t know you were here,” you heard and looked up as Bucky walked backstage, twirling his drumsticks, grinning at you.  You rolled your eyes.

“Someone has to clean up after everyone’s messes.” You responded.

“Mmm.” He grinned and leaned on the road case next to you.  “You’re the one that helps with the girls, aren’t you?” he asked, and your cheeks flushed red as you worked.  You didn’t look up at him, refusing to let him see you blush.  

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for that.” Bucky said.  “They get clingy after a while.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yes, we’ve established that.” Bucky grinned.  

“I don’t want to hear about your fucking sex addiction right now, Barnes.  I’m trying to fix this haze machine.” You said finally looking up at him.  

“Oh, I’ll be real, its not an addiction.  I’m just very into sex, and I enjoy it.”  He grinned. “Don’t you enjoy it?”

“I’m not talking about sex with you.” You said and looked down at the machine.

“Oh, come on.  That’s gonna make me think you’re a virgin.”  He chuckled and you didn’t reply. “Wait… no way.  You’re actually a virgin?” he asked.  You rolled your eyes.

“My sex life is none of your business.”  You said, your voice shaking a little nervously.  

“So, you are a virgin.” He responded, grinning.  He hopped onto the road case, swinging his legs.  “How have you been on the road this long without at the very least getting head?”

“Oh my God.” You mumbled, your face blushing bright red. “You’re such an—”

“Asshole, yeah, it’s on my resume,” Bucky smirked.  “You’ve got to have thought about it.  I mean.  It can’t be easy, hearing me fuck nearly everyone on this tour—”

“You’re such an arrogant asshole, not everyone wants to—”

“Yeah, but you do,” Bucky cut you off.  “I’ve seen how you look at the girls that leave my room.  You’re jealous, aren’t you, kitten?”

“Don’t call me that.”  You said, shivering just a little.  Unfortunately, Bucky noticed.  

“You are jealous,” he said grinning and sliding off the road case, moving toward you.  “You’ve probably touched yourself to hearing me with those other people, haven’t you kitten?” You backed away, shaking a little.

“Bucky--“

“Now don’t lie to me kitten,” he said smirking as you bumped into another road case. He placed a hand on either side of you and grinned down at you. “How long have you wanted to kiss me, kitten?” he asked, and you whimpered a little at the nickname.

“I…” you stammered out as you felt his calloused fingers drift down the skin of your arm. “Bucky…”

“So, a while,” he chuckled softly, leaning so his lips brushed across your neck. “If you don’t want this, tell me.  I’m an asshole, not a jerk.” He said grinning a little.  You bit your lip, looking up at him.  In truth, he was right.  You had wanted this for so long.  You had held off, not wanting to be that girl that slept with the drummer, that slept with people to get ahead.  But let’s be real—Bucky had slept with half the crew already—not just women, but men too, and non-binary people.  You wouldn’t get looked down on at all, and if anyone did, they’d be looking down on themselves as well.  

“Kiss me,” you said softly and a second later you felt Bucky’s lips crash against yours in a fevered kiss as he lifted you effortlessly onto the road case.  Your legs wrapped around his hips automatically as he gripped your hips tightly.  You slipped your fingers through his hair, shivering as you heard a groan fall from his lips as you tugged gently.  He pulled away from your mouth, kissing down your neck, worshiping the area where your jaw met your neck. “Don’t leave a mark—” you gasped out, your face burning and he smirked at you.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he growled, and you felt a wetness pool between your thighs as he growled at you.  You whimpered as you felt his teeth work at your skin, your fingers gripping his hair tightly as you moaned, pushing your hips into his.  “God, you’re so needy for me, aren’t you, kitten?” he purred into your ear, one of his hands finding its way up your shirt and pushing it up, exposing your breasts to the cold air.  You gasped out his name breathlessly as he pinched and pulled at your nipple.  “Such a good, responsive girl, hmm?” he whispered into your ear.  “Never had anyone touch you like this, have you?  Never had anyone make you feel this good, have you, kitten?”

“No, Bucky, no one,” you breathed out whimpering and arching your back.  He slipped his hands down your body, unbuttoning your pants.

“I’m going to take my time with you, kitten,” he smirked, kneeling in front of you as he pulled your pants down past your knees.  

“What… What are you…” you panted, watching him, then falling back onto your elbows with a gasp as he flicked his tongue against your clit.  “Holy shit” you cried out as he sucked your clit into his mouth, rubbing his finger around your entrance, collecting your slick on his fingers. He slowly pulled away, smirking up at you as he slipped his fingers into his mouth, tasting you.

“God, kitten, you’re nearly dripping for me,” he whispered.  “You’re so wet for me, kitten, and I’ve barely even done anything.”

“Bucky, please—” you begged.

“I’ll be nice to you this once, kitten, because it’s your first,” he grinned.  “Remember that.”  He leaned forward again, slipping his tongue into you as you moaned almost immediately, your head falling back as your chest heaved with your heavy breaths. He slipped a finger into you, pumping in and out as you arched up into his hand.  “Where is it, kitten, where’s your spot—” he whispered and suddenly you felt a burst of pleasure and you cried out, your hips bucking up.

“Jesus Christ—”

“Just Bucky is fine,” he smirked, and any other time you would have punched him in the arm, but he added another finger and oh fuck he was hitting that spot again, and everything was feeling so good, and he was moaning and sucking on your clit and…and…and…

“Bucky, holy fuck!” you cried out, your back arching as you clenched around his fingers, cumming harder than you ever had before by your own hand or vibrator. He slowly pumped his fingers in and out, rising from his knees to kiss you deeply through it as your legs shook. You pulled away, gasping as he slowly pulled his fingers from you.  You moaned softly as he licked his fingers, grinning at you.

“God, kitten, you taste so good for me,” he smirked softly and kissed you.  You shivered as you tasted yourself on his lips, and he pulled away, tilting your head up, his finger hooked under your chin. “Meet me in my dressing room tomorrow, after load out,” he smirked. “There’s so much more I want to teach you.”