#◜sera: inbox / replies.◞
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anonymous wailed to the heavens! : Sera can u sit on my face?
❝ absolutely not! ❞
#◜sera: in character.◞#◜sera: inbox / replies.◞#anonymous#// you made her so mad her face markings are gone LOL
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tb to 2020 when I posted something like "wow it looks like Trump might win" and got MULTIPLE anon hates that accused me of spreading false information and violating election integrity
#can we run it back this year bc that was so funny#i only ever replied to a couple i think. i have several rotting in my inbox#one is like “kys you said trump won” girl no i didn't 😭😭😭#top 10 tumblr experiences#Sera
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oh I have a request what is you do a story about reader x Adam where she is seen like a swan 🦢 beautiful, elegant, and graceful while Adam is Adam and both are together and everybody is like seriously what does she see in him? And she’s like “he makes me laugh 🥰” then shows Adam stuff his face all in a messy manner and looking goofy while reader looks at him with love
This request was so cute! Thank you for dropping it in my inbox, hope I did it justice :3
Divider : benkeibear
Adam x Graceful! Fem! Reader
Your high heels made a clacking sound as you walked across the street; your flowy dress made many heads turn, just for Angels to be stunned by your beauty once they saw you.
Saying you weren’t used to this would be a lie, as every day many individuals would comment on your beauty and grace; you were quite modest about it though, always thanking them but never bragging about all the attention that you received.
This wasn’t what your day was going to be about though; in fact, Adam was.
You were going on a date with your boyfriend, and you were thrilled about it; you two hadn’t been able to go out for a while, since he was quite busy with shows and whatnot during that time of the year.
You always tried to be there for his gigs, but usually he was busy with band outings afterwards or he was too beat – and quite sweaty, too – to go out for a romantic date with you.
And when he wasn’t busy with gigs, he was too caught up in more confidential matters with Sera. Things regarding Hell, you guessed. So naturally you allowed him to have some chiller dates with you in the weekend, prioritizing his desires a bit.
But this time you two had planned a whole day out together, with the first stop being a restaurant to eat some lunch.
Finally reaching your destination, you stopped in your tracks and fixed your hair to look as pretty as you could for your boyfriend. Not that he would notice if you had a hair out of place, he always called you stunning even when you were in your nightwear and you had just woken up, but you still wanted to look your best for your special day.
You checked your phone, and saw a message from him that said he was going to fly there to get there faster. You were about to reply when you heard a strong flap of wings from above you.
“Hey babe!” he descended from the sky, snaking an arm around your figure and kissing the top of your head. He was wearing his mask, as always when he was in public, but you really didn’t mind.
“Hey Adam! We arrived at the same time,” you pointed out as he tucked his wings under his arms. You noticed he was wearing his usual robe, but as the wind blew it around a little you could see his spiked combat boots underneath.
“We did, wanna go in?”
“Sure!”
You chatted about this and that as you entered the fancy restaurant, the carefully designed decor catching your eye immediately. He even had to ask you if you were listening as you got caught up staring at the luxurious furnishings.
A waiter welcomed you and lead you to your booked table near a window overlooking a beautiful garden, you could touch the bush of white roses outside if you leaned out a little, if you wanted.
You didn’t need much time to choose your orders; both of you decided to go with your favorite food as a treat, Adam’s being ribs, and as soon as the dishes arrived you dug in. You made a mental note to leave a positive review to the restaurant as even the food tasted heavenly.
“Holy shit, these ribs go hard as fuck! Want one?” Adam asked between bites, picking one up with his free hand and handing it to you. You grabbed it helping yourself with your cutlery, and chuckled at your boyfriend’s behaviour.
You were just about to take a bite out of the rib when you heard something that you probably shouldn’t have;
“...I wonder what she sees in him?”
You turned around swiftly and caught the two Angels commenting on your relationship red handed; one of them had the appearance of a sheep, fur pristine and styled into ringlets, the other resembled a cat.
They immediately averted their gaze when yours fell on them, but you still shifted so you could face them better.
“Well, he makes me happy and makes me laugh. Isn’t that enough?” you stated with a kind smile, no malice in your words, and pointed at Adam with your fork. The two girls grimaced as they looked at your boyfriend, hands dirty and mouth stuffed with ribs; he was enjoying his lunch so much that he hadn’t even noticed the food had left a stain on the sleeve of his robe.
“Suit yourself...” the sheep Angel commented once again, and it was Adam’s turn to reply.
“You’re damn lucky I’m busy eating ribs and being on a date with my girlfriend. Do you even know who the fuck you’re talking to?”
“The first man, Adam.” You finished his sentence fondly.
The Angels shivered; you’d dare say you never witnessed anyone leave a place faster than they did that restaurant.
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin x reader#x reader#adam x reader#adam x you#adam hazbin hotel#adam hazbin#hazbin adam#hazbin hotel adam#adam one shot#hazbin hotel
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Sam, I must know what sort of things Gerald blogs about on his Tumblr. How old or active is his account? Is his identity a secret?
It's actually a reference to an older post where @dignitywhatdignity pointed out there was no way Ger wasn't on Tumblr. :D Reproduced my response below -- first, Photogram:
I can picture Jerry’s Photogram in my head very clearly because I’ve had to research the children of rich people and their fucking obnoxious instas, and Jerry’s is probably equal parts expensive cars, club glam, and scenic vistas, but mainly because that’s like…what you do. It’s just kind of the done thing, like wearing a shirt when you leave the house.
Update: Gerald's photogram has shifted radically -- he still treats it as a Thing You Do but especially now that he's a dad it's a lot more Parenting Lifestyle stuff. Because a few of my friends have had babies in the last two years and I had to research the babies my fictional characters were having, the algo now thinks I have baby fever, so I get a lot of Parent Influencer content, and I bet Gerald does a lot of sly fun-poking at that stuff. Like, posting a photo of a bottle warmer and a bib-washing tabletop machine with commentary like "You cannot buy any of this in the shop I don't have, but if you're going to buy one stupid thing as a parent, buy the bib washer. Not a single shirt you own will be unstained but the bibs will be immaculate."
They don't post pictures of Serafina, though -- there are a couple of official portraits for PR reasons but day-to-day that shit is locked to friends and family only. (There are special websites for this, I have friends who use them, it's pretty neat.) The only time random candids of her are out there are usually when someone snaps Michaelis toting her around Fons-Askaz with her cousins -- the "King Emeritus and Royal Ducklings" are becoming a very familiar sight. At least once a week Michaelis takes Noah and Joan out for an afternoon in town with Sera in a snugli and the twins in a stroller. Don't ask him about his stepson and grandkids unless you really want to hear about them.
Meanwhile he also definitely has a secret super-weird tumblr and nobody can figure out if he’s roleplaying or shitposting or what when he posts stuff like “The family groupchat is all well and good until it starts heavily impacting local politics.” Are those horses really his or is he just visiting a barn? Is that…a photo of a plate full of appetizers at “My cousin’s latest house party” with Angela Merkel in the background? He certainly has some strong feelings about Princess Diana and equally strong feelings about Tsar Nicholas. Why is he one of only three people the official Eddie Rambler tumblr follows?
Gerald's tumblr has also slowed down since the diagnosis and becoming a dad, but the content is still random as hell and more authentically wild than his photogram. Again, no photos of Serafina, but it's very evident that whoever is running that particular tumblr has had a kid, or is pretending they have. He gets asks accusing him of faking shit for clout and every time he does, his response is simply to write the ask on a sheet of paper in longhand and photograph it in front of a famous European landmark and/or political figure.
Alanna tolerates this because it does keep him out of mischief and sometimes he takes Serafina with him to whatever landmark he's visiting, and she gets to have a quiet apartment to herself for a while.
(”Eddie Rambler’s on tumblr?” someone asks, and someone else replies “Name me one other TV chef brave AND stupid enough to be on tumblr” and then you realize it is in fact the official Eddie Rambler tumblr saying that.)
Eddie doesn't post to his official Tumblr anymore because he rarely has time and doesn't need to do the self-promotion, but Katie in Communications checks his inbox once a week and brings him the most entertaining asks to respond to. He's currently hovering somewhere around the level of Neil Gaiman in terms of "Famous people who are inexplicably on Tumblr."
Ultimately there develops a running joke that Jerry’s tumblr is run by either a) an upper-class vampire (rude) or b) the elected king of a micronation on the Mediterranean coast with a name nobody can spell (super rude!)
One time Gerald accidentally pocket-posted a blurry selfie to his Tumblr but it was so poorly focused and clearly accidental that a bunch of people got mad at him for violating the privacy of the Duke of Shivadlakia. He had to pretend to have a week-long beef with himself to save face. He eventually got Noah to take a selfie with him, blanked out Noah's face, and then claimed the Duke had forgiven him and here was a selfie with him as proof.
It's a hard old life, being Duke of Shivadlakia, but someone's got to do it.
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OKAY, SO, I'M BACK
and I have what? A freaking WHAT? It's a drawing tablet, ladies and gentlemen. Well, its a regular tablet, but I will DRAW on it. I am pretty excited to learn how to use the thing and I hope to soon be able to draw anywhere and everywhere. I will start drawing the replies to the Victoria Seras ask now, so if you have any other questions you want her to answer- go ahead and leave your question in the comments below any ask post or in my question inbox? Is that what you call it?
#sketch#art#digital art#digital artist#digital illustration#artwork#oc#hellsing#original character#seras victoria#victoria seras
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um. hi again, sera… u know i love u. I’m sorry if i overreacted before, but u obviously understand why. i know ur trying, it just all makes me so mad…
uh, but… who is that other person in the ask box that’s been talking recently?? sorry, but if someone’s going to be an asshole about me like that, why bother replying? u know i’m just looking out for u. like u said. maybe this “camille” is being nice to u now, but u know how people are, especially online. i can’t stop u from replying or anything, but don’t accept any offers from this person or anything, please… i don't trust her.
she’s telling u to stop talking to me… she doesn’t even know me! u know that ur the only person i talk to. i wouldn’t be anything without u. I don’t have any friends or anything… everyone at school hates me for no reason… ur the only one that understands me. please don’t let her get to ur head, my beloved.
if u come over i could show u my love again… i just want to see you. <3
- kylar
hii kyky <3 i love you too!! i hope u know that <33 ofc u have every right to be upset. i shouldn't have been hiding anything from u. u put sm trust into me & deserve tha same amount of effort 2 b put back into u :(
the person in my inbox is just a kind someone who stumbled upon my page ^_^ she means well & wants me 2 be safe like u do but ummm,,, ya ur right
she doesn't know us irl so ofc take whut she says w/ a grain of salt. it's hard 2 judge a situation when ur not in it and idk apparently ppl think i'm "prone to exaggeration" on here and apparently too "unwell" that it makes me overemotional & clouds my judgment (¬_¬ ). so maybe i dont portray thingz 100% accurately (╯︿╰)???
either way plz dont worry any of that !!! i've no plans to take any offers to get away from u <3 um.... if you want me 2 stop replying to her,, i guess i could? idk :( i know u dont trust her but— idk. we will talk abt this face 2 face in a bit ^^;
ehehehe "show u my love" o-m-g. stopp it you,,,, (´▽`ʃƪ) 'm kidding p;ls dontstop,iloveit. as soon i post this i'll b over in 10 min :] wont keep u waiting i promise!! <3
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RULES
Call me Benji!
I am a woman in my 30s. Due to this, I may both be slow to replying. Additionally, I do not write with anyone younger than 18.
I am completely fine with interacting with duplicates.
While I will interact with other Dion's, @dragonliiight is the only Dion I will ship with. Any other Dion would be platonic or familial.
I am perfectly fine shipping with other characters. However, shipping is not the main purpose of this blog.
I am happy to write in fandoms outside of FFXVI. Here is a general list of fandoms I am comfortable writing in: General FF/Any FF game, Zelda, Tales of Series blogs, Kingdom Hearts, Fire Emblem
If you are an original character or a character from another series not listed and you follow me, I will take a look at your blog and likely follow back. If I am not aware of the fandom, I will do my best to DM you to ask if you had any ideas.
Speaking of - I will only interact with people who follow me. This is just so I know that you are interested. If you unfollow me, that is completely a-okay. If we have been interacting I may reach out once to confirm this was no an accident. This is not in any way an attempt to harass, just a confirmation that tumblr did not Tumblr.
If I follow you first, I am not likely to send in any sort of password or confirmation of rule reading as I admittedly will not fully read your rules to the most minute detail until we are mutuals. I may not do it after you follow me back but I will do my best. I may forget.
UPDATE AS OF 7/4/2024: I am not comfortable writing with blogs that make it clear their goal is to 'catch them all' with my muses (this applies here, and on any attached multimuse blog). If it becomes clear that you care less about my writing and more that I write Joshua, I am likely to disengage from interaction.
I am now single-ship per verse. Please refer to my shipping page for further details.
Update 8/27/2024: Unless it is an ice-breaker/first interaction meme, I'm going to go off the idea that memes are meant as one-shots and not continue them unless told otherwise. Apologies if this feels very annoying. Just specify in the tags; it helps a lot!
On the same vein, I'm going to be staying off the dash for awhile and am not likely to actively send in asks as I'm not likely to see them. I will post inbox calls to counteract this; I apologize if it's annoying to have to interact with them in advance. You can also always go into my DMs if there's a specific ask you'd like to see. The only people this doesn't affect are Sera and Meg.
My anon is likely permanently off. DMs are for mutuals only as well.
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So I will be on mobile for the next 24 hours because I wont be home ( 12 for work and the remainder I am not home ) , so I will probably be posting inbox memes and replying to what I can, however I currently cannot cut posts so I will put a tag for it until I am on my laptop
&& maybe I will finally get Sera's tags done
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I was planning on replying to that ask today. I’ll just reply to it via this post and delete it from my inbox so I don’t essentially answer it twice.
They would fit in really well in Wrath. I think besides pride, wrath would be their main sin. And of course like they said Pride was their hunting grounds so they wouldn’t exactly be welcome there. In Wrath however it would essentially be a clean slate.
Overall Exorcists are incredibly fast, strong, and durable. Plus they have wings and over a hundred years of experience following orders and working together, so they’d make wonderful farm hands. They’d also be incredible athletes, possibly to the point where they’d need their own categories.
Of course there would be kinks but among the rings and possible outcomes for post Extermination Exorcists, it would likely be the best solution. With Lute’s increasing discomfort in Heaven and the acceptance of their nature in Hell, the other Exorcists would be inclined to follow their flock leader. Their proper flock leader. Even if Sera is technically in charge, if Lute stops following her the rest of the flock will follow.
Thank you!
I can just imagine Lucifer confronting sera about the exorcists.
“They’re PEOPLE. People sera! And you never even gave them a childhood or a chance to learn about themselves! You just poofed a few intelligent beings into existence, didn’t like how they turned out, gave them weapons and made them killers. And you have the gall to be disgusted by their nature?! A nature you gave them! That’s it, mine. I’m adopting them. Time to tell Charlie she’s got a few hundred more siblings.”
Then dramatically turns so his coat flairs and walks out.
Sera wants to defend herself, but Lucifer’s words are all fact. She’s done inexcusable things. She fucked up when she first decided genocide was the best course of action. She only fucked up worse when she made soldiers like they were dolls, not people whose first impression of the world was hostility, violence, and a disapproving gaze. Theres no defending herself or her actions.
Emilys at the meeting too, being a seraphim, and by the end she’s just curled in on herself and silently crying. She doesn’t even want to look at Sera. How could something like this be happening in Heaven? How could her own sister do this?
Aren’t angels supposed to be the good guys?
In Hell Lucifer is fuming and beginning to work out the logistics of taking a few hundred angels under his protection. According to Heaven animalistic souls belong with him anyway, so really he’s just bringing them to where they’re supposed to be.
#Hawk Feather Exorcists AU#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel exorcists#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel emily#hazbin hotel sera
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@lettherebemonsters shrieked at your post! ; ( Definitely wonder if she felt like that with Eden, given how a lot of people want the polycule to happen….)
Sera had no idea about the Eden polycule, or if there was ever going to be one at some point ; while Adam, Eve, and Lilith were created with monogamy in mind, Lucifer entering the picture more of less screwed things up
it's unknown if his interference caused a butterfly effect in some humans choosing to participate in couplings with more than 2 members, but Sera believes that humans were bound to discover and possibly explore and later pursue this method of romantic and sexual expression.
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honest opinion on han? easy. an incredibly kind, welcoming, and talented human being. if i boiled down your personality that's what would be at the bottom of the pot. you deserve only the best.
Anonymously tell me your honest opinion about me. I can’t reply, just publish.
#ive been keeping this in my inbox and looking at it like c:#ily thank you so much <3#[ooc]#[answered]#[foreversave]#I KNOW IM NOT MEANT TO REPLY BUT SHHHH YOU'RE LOVELY and i love sera and just yeah lkndlkhnlksd#keep bein lovely ya sosig <3
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requested: sarò la luce di sera (Måneskin)
requested by @/Sheruie on Archive of Our Own! (link on the blog!)
in which Cora doesn’t think she can do it anymore, but thankfully, there’s always family to show her that she can
@/Sheruie requested, here it is :)
Cora is a female character on this case, as an obvious reference to the song. However, how you perceive and interpret Cora is your own choice.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
- suicide attempt (nothing explicit, but still, implied)
~ * ~
Outside the hotel room, the night was dark and silent, the chilly breeze from the slightly opened window making Cora shiver slightly. She took a deep breath, followed by a sharp exhale, as she faced the unlabelled bottles that stood on the nightstand, at arm’s reach.
Some kind of dark, freezing void had taken over her chest, killing anything else, any other happy feeling that dared growing. It had been like that for weeks, maybe months, and she just didn’t believe there was any other way to live anymore. She just didn’t feel like she was strong enough to keep going. They certainly wouldn’t miss her much, right? No one wanted a broken someone, a person who could no longer put their own pieces back together, or at least pretend things were okay.
Laying abandoned on the bed, her phone buzzed, once, twice, the screen lighting up with unspoken urgency.Cora had told them she didn’t feel like going out that day.
Non mi va, raga’. Sono troppo stanca.
Ethan and Vic had respected her decision, though making sure she knew they’d come back running if she needed them; they had noticed how Cora hadn’t been herself for the past days. Maybe a little rest would help her get back on her feet. Thomas had kissed her forehead before going; a silent “Please be okay”. Damiano had stayed behind for a second longer to take her hand in his and squeeze it lightly, to then look her in the eyes with such intensity he had said everything without words. It didn’t matter how much she tried to hide it; he could see right through her. Now her phone was buzzing again. And she was ignoring it, still fighting an internal battle as to what she was about to do. She looked at the wrinkled paper she had left beside her, her shaky handwriting barely intelligible. She wasn’t sure if she should; however, she didn’t know if, come the time, she’d be brave enough to proceed. To finally stop burdening everyone. When Cora felt the dampness on her cheeks, she realized she was crying; her throat seemed to be closing, and an irrational panic arose to her brain. For the first time in weeks, she could feel, and what she felt was fear. She had the pill bottle in a firm grip, but something paralyzed her, so she remained there, sitting on the bed, crying, unable to do anything. A raging fire had replaced the numbness, destroying everything in its path, and Cora just wasn’t sure what was worse anymore.
The door to the room opened before she could process what was happening; she could hear the guys�� voices, chatting and bantering. She’d recognize Damiano’s laugh anywhere. Cora couldn’t even move, all she could do was cry, her breath in short, shaky puffs that hurt her aching chest. The sounds ceased abruptly when two friends fell silent, as they noticed her presence on the other side of the dimly lit bedroom.
“Cora?” - she heard Thomas call - “Cora?”
As they noticed she didn’t react, their calls for her grew louder and more worried. All of a sudden, before she could realize, a hand was placed on her shoulder, the cold contrasting with the excessive warmth of her skin.
“Cora… baby, what happened?”
Damiano was the first to notice the bottle Cora was holding in her hand; then, his gaze settled on the wrinkled sheet of paper placed beside her. Given her current state, it wasn’t at all hard for him to put two and two together. Setting all his heartbreak aside, he knew he had to think quick, so he brought himself down to his knees in front of her, while Thomas sat beside him, unable to hide his shock.
“Look at me” - Damiano asked, softly - “Cora, can you please look at me?”
While still gasping for air like a fish out of water, Cora made an effort to meet his gaze, focusing on something, anything but the thoughts that flooded her head. Moving gently, slowly, he placed his hands on top of hers, trying to unclench her fist and ease her grip on the pill bottle.
“We’re going to let this go, okay, amore?” - he said, while still trying to pry her fingers away from the object
Without realizing, the girl was whimpering, when she finally gave in to Damiano’s touch and opened her hand, releasing her grip on the pills, letting the container fall to the carpet with a soft thud, as it was replaced with the boy’s hand on hers. Damiano had climbed up on the bed to sit beside her.
“Did you take anything?”
Cora shook her head hastily, finally abandoning herself to the crying, no longer fighting her feelings, struck by the thought that she had almost done it. Thomas, still sitting in his place on the floor, was suddenly overwhelmed by the realization that if they had come home a minute too late…The girl was now huddled against Damiano’s chest, as he tightened his hold on her ever so gently, tears running down his own face, smudging his makeup.
“Andrà tutto bene, piccola” - he whispered, voice thick with his own overload of emotion - “We’re here now. Andrà tutto bene”
Cora tried to speak, to say something, anything, but instead all that left her chest was a loud, completely broken sob. Thomas took her hand, he too still confused and trying to fight past the shock that clouded his judgement momentarily.
“Perdonami”
It was, at last, the first intelligible word she was able to say.
The blond boy finally found it in himself to speak.
“There’s nothing to forgive. We love you so much”
They heard the door open again, Ethan and Vic’s voices speaking softly. They, too, fell silent, their features suddenly heavy, as they saw Damiano still holding on to Cora, both crying like children, and Thomas�� hand interlocked with hers, quiet tears, too, running down his pale cheeks. Exchanging a look, they took a step forward, making their presence known.
“Cora? Damià?” - Vic asked, confusion and worry in her voice - “Thomas… what’s happening?”
Ethan was the quickest of the two to catch a glimpse of the pill bottle laying forgotten on the carpet beside her. Then, he saw the note, and a hand flew up to cover his mouth in shock. Vic followed quickly. In a moment, both were, too, sitting next to the rest; Ethan on the bed, beside Cora, Vic on the floor, right next to Thomas, looking up at the pair. Damiano just felt thankful to have the girl safe in his arms; that they hadn’t been too late. Her cries had quieted down a little. The older boy left a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“How did you know?” - she asked, almost whispering
Thomas was quick to reply.
“You weren’t taking our calls. We were worried”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m a burden. I just thought you would be better off without me”
It was Ethan’s turn to speak up.
“Don’t say that again. Please” - he asked, hurt - “we love you, Cora. You’re our sister. We want to help you”
Then, Victoria:
“Don’t shut us out. We’ll fix this, we promise you”
Finally, Damiano cleared his throat and seemed to take a moment to think of how to phrase his thoughts.
“Sorellina mia, non sei mai sola… trust us on this one. Let us take care of you. We’ll make it okay”
For the first time in weeks, Cora felt an overwhelming amount of love replace the void that had been sucking all happiness out of her. A tiny little spark of warmth flickered on her heart, fueled by her family’s soft touches and kind words.
Damiano wiped the tears from her cheeks while his own still rolled down his face.As they huddled up together, taking comfort in each other, she knew they wouldn’t leave her. She had love. Something worth staying for.
--------
translations:
“Non mi va, raga’. Sono troppo stanca.” - “I don’t feel like it, guys. I’m too tired”
“amore (mio)” - (my) love
“Andrà tutto bene, piccola” - “Eveything’s going to be alright, baby”
“Perdonami” - forgive me
"Sorellina mia, non sei mai sola” - “My little sister... you are never alone”
(A/N): this is a very, very sensitive topic I would not normally write about. however, if this is a way to, somehow, bring any sort of comfort to someone going through a rough time, I am happy to provide it for you. let this be your reminder that there is always something worth fighting for.
this is a small story that in no way, shape or form glorifies mental illness. not only is it unrealistic and irresponsible to take it lightly, it is dangerous.
last but not least, everyone struggles at some point in life. bad days don’t last forever. you’re never alone. you’re so so loved. if you, like Cora, are not in a good place right now, remember there’s no shame in asking for help.
you can do this. it gets better. my inbox is open if you need a friend.
#måneskin imagine#please mind the trigger warnings!!!#måneskin#damiano david#vic de angelis#thomas raggi#ethan torchio#fic#short fic#drabble#requests open
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I posted 1,563 times in 2021
461 posts created (29%)
1102 posts reblogged (71%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 2.4 posts.
I added 842 tags in 2021
#answered - 248 posts
#ethan - 159 posts
#maneskin - 125 posts
#hiwthi - 80 posts
#damiano - 74 posts
#fic recs - 44 posts
#damiano david - 33 posts
#vic de angelis - 27 posts
#ethan torchio - 27 posts
#thomas - 25 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#also tumblr says that i have a message in my inbox but i can't see it so pls if you did send me a message and i never replied don't be shy
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Slipping Through my Fingers || Damiano David One Shot
Pairings: Damiano David x Fem! Reader
Words: 1.5k words
Genre: Angst, hurt, tiny bit of fluff
Warnings: blood, gunshots, violence, death, hints at pregnancy
This was my first request and to the anon that requested it, I hope you enjoy!
My requests are open!
Join the taglist || Buy me a coffee
Taglist: @queendorkula , @que--sera--sera, @teenyweenynightghost, @idyllicbutterfly, @mywritingonlyfans, @its-afucking-mess, @hiraetheral, @homesicam , @ilwiwbysmv, @bieberhoodforever, @katyldamusic, @vita-thrasher, @ccweasley @ethaneskin , @iosonoarina
A/N: Ahh, this is so so intense!! Wow, okay. I hope you like this! Feedback is welcome!
He was the King of the World.
Running the Mafia was a tedious task but he was happy to do it since it ensured peace and quiet, and most importantly, the safety of those whom he loved most.
“You’ve overthinking again, amore.” You scolded him, tracing your fingertips over his chest tattoo. The two of you were laying in bed, winding down after your nightly activities but you can see the gears turning in his mind.
“I am not.” The corners of his lips turned up slightly and he turned his head to give you a kiss.
“Liar.”
“As if I could ever lie to you, amore.”
You pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you, my king.” You smiled, resting your head on his chest, letting him play with your hair gently.
“And I love you, my queen.” He said softly before starting to hum a lullaby.
--
The family gathered once a week. They were less than ten - Damiano’s inner circle. They were the people whom he trusted the most and getting to that inner circle meant that the person had earned his almost irrevocable trust.
You gathered in his favorite restaurant, same time every week like clockwork.
Vic, her girlfriend, Ethan, Thomas and his girlfriend were already there waiting for you.
“Buona sera.” Dami greeted them, offering a flower for each of the ladies. You smiled, loving the gesture and him giving you this specific shade of red rose that you absolutely love and that he loved showering you with.
You kissed him gently before sitting down in your place next to him. He had ordered a table specifically wide enough on the short side so that the two of you could sit there together, as this was your family and your empire too.
“Buona sera.” All of them replied.
“What is on this evening’s agenda?” Vic asked, pouring some wine for her girlfriend first and then herself.
“We are celebrating.” Dami announced, shocking you with the announcement as well. You could see the smirks on everyone’s faces.
“And what is the cause of that celebration?” Ethan inquired.
“I recently acquired a beautiful property just outside of Rome, where I will be building us a home.” He announced proudly, giving you butterflies. “I only got the keys yesterday, cara mia, but I wanted to share it with our family.” He dangled a little golden key, a symbol of the promised house in front of you. Everyone cheered as you pressed your lips to his.
“I can’t wait, amore.”
He kissed you again and kept touching you during the dinner, both of you needing more, needing each other like oxygen. Also, there was something that you really wanted to say to him but for that, the two of you needed to be alone.
Since getting with Damiano, you had practiced on being patient as sometimes, you had to wait before seeing Dami, sometimes he was away from you, sometimes there were more pressing matters even though he always did what he could to prioritise you.
You had planned it all out for him as there was a brief period of time today where he had to be away (which you now understood that had to do with your new land), so you prepared balloons, and a picture and wrapped everything nicely so you could tell him what you had, and what also surprised you for your future.
--
His phone buzzed just as you were leaving the restaurant. Everyone else had left, leaving the two of you last at the restaurant, as always.
“Cazzo, I have to take this. This is the architect.” He kissed your cheek before taking a few steps to the site. He didn’t really enjoy talking on the phone so he always paced whenever he had to.
You saw an old lady sitting on the ground under a lamp shade near the corner and decided to walk over to her. You always had a soft spot for old people and didn’t really need an excuse to go over and find a way to help the person.
“Buona sera, signorina.” The old lady told you as you looked down at the flowers.
“Buona sera.” You replied, scanning over the flowers that she had gathered up in the bucket. “These flowers are beautiful.”
“They are from my own personal garden… They are the last happy thing that I have, signorina.” The lady confessed, handing you one of the flowers. You took it from her, smelling it, sweet and spicy aromas hitting you all at once. Your eyes were closed, trying to absorb all of it.
“What is it?” You asked as a loud bang was heard. You gasped and pressed a protective hand over your middle, feeling the wetness already gathering there. “Oh…” Was all that you could manage. You fell over, the ringing in your ears getting louder and louder.
“The flower is a Hyacinth, signorina.” You could barely hear over the ringing in your ears.
You felt that someone lifted you off the ground. You felt some warmth finally seeping into you.
“Y/N!!! Amore, amore mio, please!!!” You heard soon after. It felt like you were there but also not really. You could feel the warmth of Dami’s body but you couldn’t move, everything hurt too much. You wanted to cry, feeling helpless, the shock completely overwhelming you.
“Hey, hey, listen to me.” He cupped your face and made you look at him. “Help is coming, okay. Help is coming. Stay with me, amore.” Your heart was broken into a million pieces.
Mercifully, the pain started to fade. You knew what was coming.
“Ti amo, amore.” You said quietly. “Per sempre.”
--
He had never been so scared in his life as when he heard the sound of the gunshot. He knew he was a target and yet he never suspected that anyone would dare lift a finger against you.
He dropped his phone when he saw you falling to the ground. He started running, adrenaline coursing through his veins.
Blood was getting everywhere but all he cared about was keeping you here.
“Stay with me, amore mio. Please.” He begged, trying to hold you. He was crying, his tears falling down on you. He gently moved your face so that you would look at him.
“Ti amo.” He heard you say. “Per sempre.”
“Ti amo, amore. Ti amo, ti amo.” He cried, holding you close as the ambulance sirens could be heard in the distance.
His heart broke when he saw the light in your eyes fade. He looked at the woman who had done this.
“Why…?” He asked, emotions threatening to drown him. He didn’t want to let go of you but he also wanted to make that woman pay. The woman who had done this had sat and watched you die expressionless.
“You took away my happiness, Damiano David. Now I took away yours.” The old woman explained. “My son died because of you. He was my only happiness left in this world. Now, your happiness is gone from this world too. She didn’t deserve this.”
--
The next few days were a blur. The police took him to the station and asked how he knew his woman, they promised to do an investigation but nothing that they could say or do could bring you back.
That evening, Ethan took Damiano home only to find your surprise waiting for him there. He saw your surprise and his loss was amplified even more, as he realized the true extent of his loss.
“Dami, I am so sorry…” Ethan cried quietly, resting his hand on Damiano’s shoulder.
Damiano didn’t say anything. He put the tiny promise that you had made him in the coat of his jacket, next to his heart.
--
He planned your funeral and had you buried close to the forest on your new property. He commissioned a mural and all of the flowers he could buy in your favorite shade.
The family did their best to be there for him but there was nothing that anyone could do to console him. Sometimes, he cried. He cried for you, he cried for your love, he cried for the promise. He cursed himself for taking this phone call, for leaving you alone, for not being able to save you.
He cursed himself for bringing this on to you.
--
He stayed at your grave for a while after everyone had gone home. He softly sang the lullaby that he sang to you to put you to sleep. When the song ended and the sun had set he set a final flower on your tombstone. Traced over the picture of you there.
“I will be with you always, amore mio. Ti amo, per sempre.” He promised.
---
Your funeral was the last time anyone saw or heard from Damiano David.

A/N 2: Hyacinths are the flowers of sorrow and regret.
86 notes • Posted 2021-11-04 19:14:45 GMT
#4
Home is Where the Heart is - A Damiano David Story || Chapter Three
Pairings: Damiano David x Fem! Reader
Word count: 4.1 k words
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, smoking, heartbreak, accident, mentions of death, nightmares.
Angst, heartbreak and pain
Description: Damiano's heart gets broken but he accepts his fate because the happiness of the love of his life means more to him than anything. He gives her space to stay or leave, even if it kills him. And she makes the choice to leave because the secret that she is keeping will make him grow resentful in the long run and she will end up losing him anyway.
Chapter One Chapter Two
A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the love and support that you have given me.
Taglist: @teenyweenynightghost , @que--sera--sera , @hiraetheral , @homesicam , @ccweasley , @ilwiwbysmv , @bieberhoodforever , @idyllicbutterfly
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Friendly advice: put this song on if you want the full effect
“You do… Dante isn’t a year and half yet…” Your mother held the child close and Damiano felt like his knees giving out from under him. The child was like a carbon copy of his younger self, yet he could see glimpses of you in his tiny expressions.
Dami reached out his hands.
Your mother didn’t hesitate even for a second. She kissed Dante’s head before passing him over to Damiano.
Dami felt like the center of his gravity shifted. He sat down on one of the benches while still holding little Dante.
“Buongiorno, Dante.” he smiled, carefully brushing the kiddo’s hair away from his face.
“Gi-giorno!” Dante smiled Damiano’s own smile back at him. He could stare at this tiny miracle for the rest of his life. He tuned out everything else. It was him, little Dante and the little sounds coming from your room, proving that you were still alive.
Wake up, amore. Wake up. We need you.
Damiano felt tethered. He studied the child carefully, letting him play with his fingers and the rings that he was wearing. He was absolutely clueless how to be a dad but there was nothing more that he wanted than to be his dad.
“You’re a natural.” your mother came over, having sent away the girl who had brought Dante to the hospital.
“I…if you say so.” Dami smiled shyly, running his fingers through the small curls.
“I can take him home tonight. Can you stay with Y/N?” your mother asked, looking at Dami and Dante.
Dami tightened his grip on the little boy, careful to not hurt him.
“May I take him to the hotel? I… I don’t want to, I don’t want to be away from him.” he admitted. “I don’t think he should sleep in the hospital.”
Your mother’s smile reminded Damiano so much of you that his heart ached.
“Of course. Of course you can take him. I’ll stay with her tonight.” she smiled at Dami and then knelt to look Dante in the eyes.
“Bambino, this is your papa. He is going to take you to sleep and then when you wake up, we’ll see each other again, okay?”
Dante moved his gaze from his grandmother to Dami, his little face showing so many emotions before smiling brightly the cutest toothy smile.
“Gi-giorno papa. I am Dante.” he smiled Dami’s smile back at him. Damiano’s heart melted.
“Buongiorno, Dante. I am your papa, Damiano.” Dami replied and kissed his tiny forehead.
Dante relaxed even more and snuggled into Damiano and Dami held him closely, determined to do anything and everything for the little boy.
He held the child carefully and reached to take his phone out of his pocket. He opened the chat to Leo.
“I need a car to pick me up from the hospital, please. I need to come to the hotel.” he wrote to his friend.
“I’ll pick you up in 15 minutes.” Leo replied. Damiano moved his gaze back to your mother, who was playing with Dante’s hands, trying to distract him from the beeping machines attached to your sleeping figure.
“Mama?” Dante whined. Dami tensed. Dante let out a little sob. “Mama!”
Damiano’s heart was breaking even more. He wanted to make every wish of this little boy come true. He wanted to never see him upset again.
“Mama is asleep, angelo. She needs to rest.” your mother spoke softly. “You will see her soon, I promise.”
Damiano closed his eyes. He wanted to cry. How could so much change in such a short time?
How was I so blind? He blamed himself. He had taken the coward’s way out. Stepped away, not asked any questions.
“I have questions…” he looked at your mother. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.
“I am happy to answer them, son.”
“When is his birthday?”
“He was born on the 9th of January.” she smiled.
Damiano took a moment to do the math but it was undeniable that the child in his arms was his. He kissed the top of his head, earning a smile from the little boy. The little boy that was his gift from you and the Universe.
“She … she had known when she left then. Is that why she left?” Damiano looked at your mother.
Amore, I need you to wake up. I need you to talk to me. Please, amore. Please, Dante needs you. I need you.
“She is the right person to talk to you about all of this.” your mother started. “I can give you my point of view, but it would be unfair if you heard my words first. She never stopped talking to him about you, though. He has known who you are from day one. That’s why he is so relaxed about you holding him.” she squeezed Damiano’s hand gently. “I know it’s a lot to take in, bambino. I am sorry it happened this way. I never thought it would happen this way. I understand if you don’t want any of this…”
“What do you mean?” Damiano looked at her. “Of course I want this! I have always wanted this with her. I always wanted to have a family with her. And he is half of me, and half of her. He is ours. I will do anything to help take care of him, Y/M/N.”
She nodded. “I never had any doubts.” squeezing his hand again. “The diaper bag has everything, I looked through it. Some baby food, although he eats some “adult” food now too; a bottle for his formula, he takes a bottle before bed. There is an extra change of clothes, his favorite toy and if you need anything i’ll be a phone call away.”
Damiano’s phone buzzed.
“I am downstairs. Where i dropped you off.” it was Leo.
Damiano looked at Dante. “Say goodnight to nonna, and we will come back a bit later, okay, angelo?”
Dante looked at Damiano with a gaze full of wonder. He took a few small steps towards your mother who was still on her knees and hugged her, kissed her cheek.
“Nighty-night nonna!” he reached for Dami’s hand. Dami leaned down and picked up the child, wanting to hold him close to his heart. Where he belongs. Your mother put the bag on Dami’s shoulder and Dami gave one last look in your direction.
I will keep him safe, amore. I will take care of him. But you need to come back to us.
Dami walked slowly with Dante towards the car. Leo jumped out of it, looking confused and upon seeing the stranger, Dante snuggled closer to Dami, hiding his face in Dami’s shoulder.
“What is happening?” Leo asked.
“I will explain later. This is Dante.” He sat down in the car after giving the bag to Leo. Dami strapped himself with Dante on his lap carefully, painfully aware that this was not the optimal way to travel with a child and putting in a mental reminder to secure him a carseat.
Dante went back to playing Dami’s rings and Dami studied him carefully, not wanting to talk or do anything except devote his full attention to the little boy.
Mercifully, Dante was calm during the car ride and they went through the back door of the hotel to avoid potential fans or photographers.
Dami carried Dante to his hotel room, as Leo carried the bag and bless him, didn’t ask any questions.
Dami helped Dante wash his hands then washed his own, pulled out the toys from the bag and settled the little boy on the bed. I really need a smoke. He thought to himself. He smiled at Dante and surrounded him with every pillow he could find, terrified that the kiddo could hurt himself on all the sharp edges in the room.
He didn’t turn his back on Dante but went close to the window, and lit a cigarette.
“Tell me you didn’t kidnap this child.” Leo spoke in a soft voice. Damiano moved his glance from his son to his best friend.
“Of course I didn’t. That’s mine and Y/N’s son.”
“Wait, what? You haven’t been with her in ages! She dumped you after Eurovision, how would that child be yours??” Leo looked scandalised. “Dami, you need to do a paternity test.”
Instead of replying, Damiano took out his phone and pulled up the picture that had been posted on the band’s instagram. The one that his father had taken of him ages ago and showed it to Leo, who only paled.
“I have no doubt that Dante is mine. None. And I will kick your ass if you ever imply something like that again.”
Leo nodded. “I only want the best for you, brother.”
“I know.”
Dami texted the band group chat, letting them know that they can come over to his room and that they can’t be too loud.
It didn’t take long for Vic, Ethan and Thomas to show up. Dami had just put out his cigarette and washed his hands, not wanting to touch Dante while he smelled of cigarettes and he had sat down, when his best friends were let in by Leo.
“Dami… What is happening?” Vic started, immediately zeroing in on Dante who didn’t seem interested in the newcomers at all.
“Soft voices, Vic.”
“Did you kidnap a child? That’s not the kind of crisis I anticipated for you, brother.” Ethan said, also looking at Dante. Damiano rolled his eyes and made a funny face at Dante who only giggled. His heart felt ready to burst because that particular giggle, oh that giggle he had taken from you.
“This is Dante.” Dami explained calmly, trying to not get offended at his friends’ assumptions. “He is my son with Y/N.”
“DIBS ON GODMOTHER!” Vic said loudly enough to startle Dante, who looked at her slightly frightened.
Thomas tried not to laugh and knelt on the floor next to the bed.
“Hi Dante. I am Thomas.” he smiled at the kiddo, who moved his attention from the toys to the guitarist but only smiled at him which was enough for Thomas. Vic took a seat on the bed and rested her hand on Dami’s shoulder.
“How is Y/N?” The words immediately captured Dante’s attention and he moved to look at Dami. “Mama?”
“Mama sleeps, angelo mio. We’ll see her soon.” Dami smiled before meeting Vic’s gaze and shaking his head slightly.
Vic went to the phone and started ordering all sorts of food.
“We were on standby all day.” Ethan explained, after showing Vic what to order for him.
“Please order some soup for Dante.” Dami added and Vic only smiled.
Damiano wasn’t sure what to do or how to do it, so he let his instincts lead him. He wanted to talk to his mom, but he suspected that it would create even more chaos and he didn’t need that. He needed to make sure that his son would have the peace that he needed to grow and have a carefree life.
He didn’t hear what his friends were talking about, his focus pinpointed at his new centre of gravity. Half of his soul there, in the hotel room with him, the other half in that bed at the hospital.
When the food arrived, Damia looked up after Vic shook his shoulder.
“Earth to Damiano!” she said, frustrated but also worried. “You can’t starve yourself or this little angel.” She was also looking at Dante, then leaned down and opened her arms for him. “Do you want some delicious soup, Dante? Aunty Vic got you some!”
“Vic, this sounds so creepy that I want to teach him stranger-danger.” Thomas laughed before taking a bite out of his burger.
“Agreed.” Ethan chimed in.
“Shut up, you wish you could be as cool as me.” Vic stuck her tongue out. Dami got up and picked up Dante before moving to the table and sitting him in his lap. Realizations kept hitting him about how much he had to learn on how to be a parent but he also knew that nothing would stop him from putting the world in Dante’s feet.
-
The kiddo devoured the soup in a manner that reminded Damiano of his brother and how the two of them would eat after sports in their teen years. Damiano chuckled, as the others looked at him confused.
“I’ll tell you later.” he promised. Dante finished his food and went back to playing with Dami’s hands as he started his own food. He loved that Dante would occasionally trace with his tiny fingers the rings and the tattoos.
The familia stayed until Dami figured out that it was probably way past Dante’s bedtime. The kiddo was practically falling asleep in his arms.
Vic rummaged through the diaper bag and pulled out all the things that they suspected that Damiano might need later through the night, with Ethan carefully arranging them to be within reach (for ease, of course).
Ethan also navigated Damiano through the mechanics of changing a diaper and helped him make sure that Dante would be comfortable.
“I have to earn my favorite uncle and best godfather titles, after all.” Ethan winked at Damiano which only made him chuckle.
“We are one text and several doors away, Dami.” Vic reassured him. “Sleep tight.”
Oddly, he was not terrified of being left alone with a toddler. He watched his son sleep and carefully caressed his curls, watching the small expressions change.
His phone lit up with a notification from your mother, informing him that there was nothing new and wishing them a peaceful evening. He snuggled next to Dante, wrapping his arm carefully around him and fell asleep.
-
No, no, this is not happening. No, please no. Please don’t be real. Please take me and not her. He was screaming. He was screaming and it felt like he was going to drown. PLEASE. PLEASE, LET ME TAKE HER PLACE. I’LL DO ANYTHING, JUST SAVE HER.
He was on his knees in the mud, overlooking the grave that they had dug for you. The sky above him, gray, dark and angry. It was thundering and the rain was pounding hard against his skin.The grave had a wooden coffin covered with flowers. He could hear his son crying. He had to do something, he had to change the course of fate. PLEASE.
Dami felt a cold hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw you, standing above him. You are here, but also not at all, he thought to himself.
“Amore, stay. Please. Please, I can’t do this without you. I can’t live knowing that you are not here. I need you. Dante needs you. Our baby needs you.”
“You have each other, amore della mia vita. You’ll be okay. I am sorry for everything.” you leaned down to kiss his forehead. He reached out and grabbed you, determined to keep you here.
“Stay, or take me with you, amore. Stay with us. We need you. I need you. We didn’t have enough time.”
“You can’t follow me, amore. Dante needs you.” You told him quietly.
“He needs us both. Stay.” Dami squeezed his hand. “Stay and live out the dream with me. Stay and raise our boy with me. Just stay. Please.”
-
He woke up sweaty, breathless and exhausted. The nightmare had felt too fucking real.
“Cazzo, Y/N…” he cursed under his breath before rolling over to look at the peacefully sleeping child next to him. He kissed his tiny hand before sitting up in bed, running his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his breathing. He picked up the pillows again and surrounded Dante with them before going back to the spot next to the window to smoke.
The night outside was very peaceful. So much so that he felt like the Universe was mocking him for something. There was something fundamentally wrong with all of this. The sky shouldn’t be this peaceful when storms were raging inside his soul.
He lit the bedside lamp and picked out a piece of paper and a pen - those he always kept on hand for the letters.
--
Amore,
I had a nightmare that you died and I couldn’t keep you here. Not only was I unable to keep you here but you also refused to take me with you. Do you understand that you and I were always meant to be one? You kept our child. You kept him and raised him and was there for him when I wasn’t. A part of me is very angry that you decided to keep him from me. Angry and resentful. I deserved to be there. I wanted to be there for the two of you.
I think I understand why you did it, though, you stubborn control freak. If my suspicions are true… well, you know that I would have halted everything to be with you two. I would have put you first.
My only regret is that we didn’t have that time together. My regret is that I wasn’t there for you like I should have been.
I love you, amore. Nothing will be able to change that. Nothing. You are the love of my life.
Seeing Dante, meeting him, watching him as I have today, he has only made me love you even more, because he is as much you, as he is me.
I can’t live without you, amore. So you need to fight, you need to come back to us. I will look after our boy, but I need you to come back to us. Do it for him, if not for me…
He put down the paper and pen on the nightstand and turned to his son once again, pulling him carefully close to him. The little boy held the broken pieces of his heart and Dami would never let him go again.
--
He was awoken by Dante jumping on him.
“Papa!” the little boy smiled that same sleepy smile that you would give him whenever he woke you up too early and Dami felt his heart soar.
“Buongiorno, angelo.” Dami sat up and gave the little boy a hug. Dante hugged him back and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek which only made him chuckle.
He then changed his diaper, clothes, combed carefully his hair, mindful of not pulling at his hair and got ready too while Dante watched him while sitting on the counter.
Dami sang to him while he was getting ready and found himself endlessly entertained by Dante, who seemed to enjoy music as much as his papa did.
He made a bottle for him and ordered breakfast for both of them, his full attention held by the smiling angel who seemed more than content to be the center of attention.
Mercifully, the breakfast didn’t take long to arrive and only after finishing it (he ordered pancakes and fruit and some yogurt) which he shared with Dante.
Only after did he realize that he hadn’t checked his phone since turning it off for the night to not disturb Dante’s sleep.
His phone had been clogged with notifications.
There were morning texts from the group chat, checking in on him and Dante.
There were texts in the Familia chat, checking in on him and Y/N.
…
There were texts from your mother.
“Her heart stopped beating.” - 3.30 am
“They are doing everything they can.” - 3.31 am
“They got her back, but..” - 3.37 am
“Something is going wrong, they are taking her back to surgery.” - 3.42 am
“Dami, please keep my grandbaby safe.” - 3.45 am
“Oh gods, I don’t know what I am going to do if she doesn’t make it…” - 4 am
He felt cold all over. His heart began racing again, everything in his soul screaming about the dream, no nightmare that he had.
He kept scrolling.
“They brought her out of surgery. Said that they will keep her in the coma for at least another 12-24 hours. We should brace ourselves. Expect the worst, hope for the best.” - 8 am
“Don’t bring Dante here. He deserves to have a different memory of her.” - 8.15 am
“You shouldn’t come either. You deserve good memories of her too.” - 8.17 am
“How is she?” he finally replied, checking the time - 11.30 am.
“Nothing new. Stable for now. Are you and Dante okay?” your mom responded almost instantly.
“Yes, he slept through the night and it was all good.”
“Good. Do you want me to call the babysitter for you?”
“Of course not. I am not letting go of him.”
“Then, you should come to the hospital. I’ll give you our home address and a key, you two can stay there if you decide.”
“I’ll see you soon. And thank you.”
He took a look at his son, who was playing on the ground with his toys and started packing the diaper bag.
“We need a car and a carseat, please.” he texted Leo before starting to get ready.
“I asked around and secured a carseat when we got back, the car will be downstairs in ten. Want me to tag along?” Leo replied. Dami considered it.
“I got it. Thank you.”
--
“Do you have updates?” Thomas sent to the group chat.
“I want to see my godbaby!” Vic added immediately.
“Yeah, the night was rough. She made it, though. I am going with Dante to the hospital.” Dami typed back.
“Is Dante okay?” - Ethan
“Of course he is.”
“Did you feed and change him?” - once again Ethan
“Ethan, stop being a mother hen. Of course I fed and changed my son. We are going to see his mama and nonna and then we are going home.”
“You are going to Rome?” - Thomas
“I SWEAR, THERE ARE NO FUNCTIONING BRAIN CELLS IN THIS CHAT TODAY.” - Dami typed back
“Lol, you love us.” - Vic.
“That’s literally beside the point.”
“Want company?” - Ethan
“You’re hovering.” - Vic
“We’ll be fine. I’ll text you when we get back.” - Dami
He grabbed Dante and the bag and started walking down to the car.
--
“Nonna!” Dante was practically gleaming when he saw your mother. “Mama?” he looked between his grandmother and his father.
“Still asleep, angelo.” Dami kissed his cheek before giving him to your mother. He had asked the driver to stop so he could bring your mother breakfast. He got her some croissants, water and some fruit.
Dami carefully set the food on the table that he had eaten on the previous day and went to you. You were paler than the day before and to his great ache, colder.
He sat down carefully on the edge of the bed.
“I am here.” he put your hand between the two of his, determined to pass all of his warmth to you. “I am here and I met him.”
“Amore, he is wonderful. He is so, so wonderful.” he leaned down, resting his head against his hands. “I know you tried to go yesterday. I know that you are in pain. I know that you hear me. I am not going to let you go, though. I wish I could take all that pain away, cara. I would if I could. Without hesitation. Please push through. Please, come back to us. We need you. Dante needs you.” he kissed your hand carefully and then your forehead. “I will come back, amore. But I need to go take care of our angel. My soul is with you, as always. I love you, amore della mia vita.” he whispered before going back outside.
“Thank you for taking care of him.” your mother started.
“Of course. I am happy to.” he replied, making grabby hands for Dante who beamed at him.
Your mother got up and handed Dami a piece of paper with an address scribbled on it. She also handed him a set of keys and explained how to get in the house.
“I got it.” Dami tried to be reassuring. Part of him wished that he had taken up Leo on his offer to tag along. Or Ethan. But he could handle it. How hard could it be?
“Please, eat and try to get some rest. My phone will be off only when he is asleep but text Vic or one of the others if you need me urgently. I will probably go with him back to the hotel… I don’t want to impose.”
“You wouldn’t be imposing but it’s your choice.”
Dami kissed her cheek, as did Dante.
“Thank you for everything.”
86 notes • Posted 2021-10-28 19:53:58 GMT
#3
Kiss and Make Up - An Ethan Torchio Blurb
Pairings: Ethan Torchio x Fem! Reader
Warnings: smoking, NSFW, fluff with sprinkles of angst, swearing
Words: just under 1k
Taglist: @queendorkula , @teenyweenynightghost , @idyllicbutterfly, @its-afucking-mess, @theimpossiblehologramtree, @iosonoarina, @ethaneskin, @vita-thrasher, @bieberhoodforever, @ilwiwbysmv, @homesicam, @hiraetheral,
This was requested!
A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I hope you like it too, especially the anon who requested it! Feedback is always welcome!
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“Why is everything so chaotic around here?” Your boyfriend asked, frustrated as he was trying to sort through the mess in the living room. The table had papers on it, some bags with snacks and your laptop. The couch had a few clothes that you had thrown on there after work, when you had been too tired to deal with putting them in the laundry, as well as two of your handbags that you had switched between during the week.
You felt bad about the apartment being in this state but you were exhausted from working overtime and working on your hobbies which you wanted to turn into a full time business too. More often than not, you would get home, exhausted and just undress, scattering the clothes wherever, take a shower, eat something quick and then get ready for the next day after sleeping for a few hours. The mess was an accurate reflection of your mental and physical state and while you felt awful that he had come home to that, it also hurt that he didn’t realize how close you were to burning out.
“Because, amore, I have a stupid 9-5 to job and too much other shit to do!” You lost your temper. You were exhausted, on the verge of burnout and him causing a scene after being gone for so long stung.
“Okay, I get that but I have been gone for what, almost a month, and this is our home?” He raised his voice too. He was never one to lose his temper but you could see that he was tired too.
“I am not going to have this conversation.” You grabbed your pack of cigarettes and stepped out on the balcony.
“Of course, you won’t.” He mumbled as you closed the balcony door and stared out at nothing.
“Don’t mumble behind my back, stronzo.” You gritted out. You smoked quickly, the anger and annoyance slowly starting to simmer down. You put out the cigarettes and stepped back into the apartment, not bothering to say anything as he was humming to himself in the kitchen area, doing the dishes.
You started stripping, leaving the clothes on the edge of the bed in your bedroom. Without a word, you passed him by all naked and went into the bathroom, not bothering to lock the bathroom door. You turned on the water to almost the hottest setting and sat down on the floor, content with letting the water just wash over you. You closed your eyes, trying to shut out everything.
What made you open your eyes was the cold air hitting you all of a sudden. Ethan stepped in the small bathroom, looking at you for a moment sitting there on the floor.
“Are you crying?” He asked.
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters, amore.” He put his hair up and squatted in front of you after closing the door.
“I am a shitty girlfriend, am I not? And we are fighting, are we not?”
“You are not a shitty girlfriend, amore mio. A little chaotic, yes. In need of a break, absolutely...”
“A break?” You looked at him, your heart stopping in its tracks. “You want us to have a break?” You teared up, terrified that you might lose him.
“No, no, no, not in that way.” He cupped your face gently, wiping away the tears. “Cazzo, the water is hot.” He shuddered and moved to make it slightly less hot before sitting behind you on the floor, the water hitting him too but not as much as it did you. He was worried about it burning you.
“I would never leave you, cucciola.”He leaned down to kiss your neck gently. “I am sorry for being an asshole.”
You leaned in, desperate to feel him.
“I love you with all my heart, you know?” You replied. “I am sorry for being a mess.”
“You are not a mess, my love. Sometimes a bit messy, yes. But it’s normal.” He kept kissing your neck. “You have been working so hard and I have been gone for so long…”
You moved from your position to turn around and face him, wrapping your legs around him. You rested your arms on his shoulders and leaned down to kiss him.
“What’s important is that we are now together, cucciolo.” You kissed him very gently and he pressed you even closer.
“Yes, and I will find a way to kidnap you for a little holiday so my angel can have the relaxation that she deserves.” He promised, kissing you again.
“You deserve a holiday too, my darling.”
“Yes, but I want to take care of you first.” He reached for the shampoo bottle which was waiting on the floor. “You are my principessa and I want you to be okay.”
“I love you so much, Edgar.” You kissed him back, the loving nickname earning a chuckle out of him. “And I want to take care of you too.” You added, earning another smile from him, relaxing as he started washing your hair, finally letting yourself relax and allowing yourself to be taken care of.
“I love you just as much, Y/N.”
98 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 12:55:39 GMT
#2
Home is Where the Heart Is - A Damiano David Story || Chapter Two
Pairings: Damiano David x Fem! Reader
Word count: 4.1k words
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, smoking, heartbreak, accident.
Angst, heartbreak and pain
Description: Damiano's heart gets broken but he accepts his fate because the happiness of the love of his life means more to him than anything. He gives her space to stay or leave, even if it kills him. And she makes the choice to leave because the secret that she is keeping will make him grow resentful in the long run and she will end up losing him anyway.
Taglist: @teenyweenynightghost , @ccweasley , @que--sera--sera
A/N: Thank you so, so much for the lovely feedback on Chapter One, I hope you like this chapter too and I am already super invested in this story so I will keep writing. As always, feedback is welcome!!
Reminder: My requests are open!
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“What the fuck?” Vic looked at Ethan. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”
“Do you think a joke would be broadcast on national news, Vic?”
“Does he know?” Vic looked at Ethan as she started getting dressed up again. “Where is she?”
“Leo is trying to find that out, and yes Dam does know.” Ethan put his hair up and went into the bathroom to wash his face. “We will go soon. Do you know if she lives alone here? Does she have family here?
"She said her mom moved here with her but I have no clue where they live." Vic admitted, panicking.
Both of them left her room and went to Damiano's where the singer was sitting with Leo and Thomas, his room trashed and him shaking.
He looked up at Vic, his glare deathly.
"Were you really out with her tonight?"
"I was, we went for dinner and I suggested we move the party elsewhere but she said she was too drunk and we went our separate ways."
Damiano was at a loss for words. There was no scenario that he could think of that could have prevented this.
"They will let us in the hospital through a back door." Leo said, walking back into the room. "There are journalists outside and police too, but I think we will be able to get to her."
Damiano sighed. "I … i need to clear my head. Give me a minute." He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and walked to the balcony door, not daring to step outside.
He took his phone out of his pocket and started scrolling through his contacts and it took him no time to find your mother's phone number. The two of them had gotten along well while you were dating and had not missed special occasions even after the breakup. He dialed her number.
The sob the woman answered with broke his heart.
"Dami…"
"I.. tell me what I can do." He pleaded quietly, taking a drag from his cigarette.
"They took her to surgery, it's a waiting game… I don't know what she would want to do now, but I won't ask you to leave if you decide to come."
That was all the permission he needed.
"I will be there as soon as possible."He promised.
He hung up and went back inside, facing his friends.
"Her mom said she is in surgery and that it's a waiting game. Gave me permission to visit."
"Do you want company?" Thomas asked tentatively.
"We are all going, Thomas! She is our family!" Vic argued.
"Wait, Vic. If we all go, it might cause an even bigger mess." Ethan said quietly. "We can do whatever you decide, Dam."
His heart was full of love for his friends. He looked at each of them before nodding.
"I will go first and see what I can do and I will text in the group chat, let you know if you can bring anything and when to come, okay?" He hugged each of them.
"Anything you need, we'll be waiting." Thomas patted his back.
The journey to the hospital, he spent in a daze. Leo tried to distract him for a bit but it was pointless as Dami's heart was in the surgical gallery, with you.
"We're here." Leo said softly, resting his palm on Damiano's shoulder. "Want me to stay?"
Damiano only shook his head. He appreciated his friend but he needed to show up in a much different light. A light that he had kept hidden for a while.
"We are one text away." Leo reminded him and sat back in the car as Damiano slowly made his way into the hospital. Mercifully, there was police and security guarding who would be going in and out of the ward.
"I… I am here to see Y/N Y/L/N." Damiano spoke softly in English.
"And who are you?" The nurse inquired politely.
"He is her family." Damiano heard a familiar voice behind him. He turned to face the woman who had raised you and loved you and who had taken care of him as if he were her own.
"Hi son." She said softly, wrapping her arms around him. They held each other for a moment, tears flowing quietly. "I just donated blood. Just in case.."
"May I donate some too?" He asked immediately, wanting to help in any way he could.
"I think so, but they will tell us if they need more."
He only nodded. "Do you need anything? I can go grab you some food, mama… anything, really."
She smiled and it broke his heart into a million pieces because he saw so much of you in her.
"No, darling. I just need my baby to come out of this and for this mess to be a thing of the past… Dami, I never liked or approved that the two of you ended it. I have said it time and time again that you two are one soul in two bodies. I know why she did what she did but still.. you two have always belonged together."
Your mother's words gave him hope. Hope for something better, a future like the one he had been praying for since the day he met you. But his prayers had shifted today.
I will do anything for her to come out of this alive and well. Please. Please don't take her away from me again. I need her. You know that. You know that if you stop her heart you will be stopping mine too. I am begging you. Please, bring her back to me. He could only hope that his God would not be cruel enough to take you from him again.
The two of them sat in silence, holding each other's hands for a while. He hadn't realized he was dozing off when one of the doctors walked up to where they were sitting and coughed.
"She is stable for now. She needed a lot of blood but we got the bleeding under control. We decided to keep her in a medically induced coma to aid her healing and if in the next day she does not get critical, we will wake her up." He smiled tentatively. "You may sit with her, one at a time. I'll show you to her room." He gestured for the two of them to follow as he led you down a corridor and to the room where you were meant to recover.
Damiano didn't know how it was possible for him to keep breaking. There was a figure on the bed, one wrapped in blankets, covered in gauze and attached to machines but he was not sure that it was the person who had fought him in the streets of Paris only hours earlier.
Your mother stepped in softly in the room leaving him alone with his thoughts. His phone buzzed and it distracted him enough to move his gaze from your sleeping figure to the small device calling for his attention. There were over twenty messages that he hadn't read.
"Updates?" Vic had written.
"She is in the recovery unit, sedated for the next twenty four hours. If it all goes well, they will be waking her after."
"Do you need anything?" Ethan added to the chat.
"Nothing, thank you."
"The police are investigating how the media got ahold of the car that was driving her home. They told me that the driver is going to make full recovery and that they are looking for the people that caused the crash." Leo added.
"It's insanity that people would chase down someone over a fucking picture." Thomas replied. "A picture is not worth losing your life over."
"She is not going to lose her life." Damiano typed out. The chat got quiet for a while.
A few minutes later his phone buzzed again, a text from his friend whom he had brought with them on this trip.
"I heard what happened. Can I help in any way?"
Dami instantly felt guilty. He had never promised or offered romance to this woman but they had been there for each other in difficult moments and she was showing up for him in a way that he wasn't sure that he could show up for her ever.
"Thank you. I am sorry that the trip took such a turn."
"It's nothing you can control, Dami. Maybe this is for the best. Let me know if I can do anything.x"
He shut off the phone and leaned back against the wall. Never having been one for patience, this waiting game felt like death to him.
Each minute felt like a century and he wanted to stroll into the room and just sit close to you, hold your hand, talk to you. He knew he would do anything to help you heal, to help you put all of this in the past.
“Do you want to go sit with her for a little bit? I mean, if you have to go I understand but…” your mother asked him quietly, pulling him out of the void of his own thoughts.
“May I? Wouldn’t she mind?” Dami looked up at her.
“I don’t think she would mind… go and sit with her, I’ll come back in a bit.” your mother smiled half-heartedly, the pain in her eyes obvious to everyone.
Damiano’s legs felt heavy as he took those steps inside the room. It was cold and eerie, like any hospital room and a part of him wanted to add some sunshine to it, something lively, something that will make this godforsaken space better, something that will prompt you to come back to the living.
He dragged the chair closer to your bed and sat down, lifting very carefully your hand to put it in his own. Leaning carefully down, he rested his forehead against the tips of your fingers, mindful to not touch the needles and monitors.
“Amore… I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to lose you.” he said quietly. He knew that you two were alone and still, this… he never thought that he would be able to talk to you like this and there was hope in him that you could hear him, that maybe what he had to say to you would bring you back to him.
“I never wanted to lose you. I thought I never would and perhaps this is why… this is why it all unfolded like it did. I flew too close to the sun and lost the one that means most to me.” he admitted, the words he had written in his journal so long ago, finally spilling out.
“I thought I would get to share it all with you - like I always have. I assumed that you would stick around, that we would be the unbreakable team that we have always been. That I would get to take you around the world, to share all this joy with you, amore. I was a fool.” his tears were spilling out. “None of it fucking mattered. None of it. Not the arenas, not the concerts, none of it - because you weren’t there to share it with me.”
He got quiet for a bit, trying to calm his breathing. Trying to stop the anxiety that threatened to overwhelm him.
“I wrote you letters. I don’t know how many there are. I stopped counting them after a while. At first, I wrote everything that threatened to spill. I wrote it on paper so I wouldn’t bombard your phone. Then, I wrote the mundane things, wrote about my days, my grievances, my encounters. I wrote and wrote, and wrote. I put down with pen and paper everything that you missed…” he started talking quietly again. “I wrote because I needed to talk and despite the silence, it felt… it felt like you were there, listening patiently, waiting for me to get it all out.”
“I burned some of the letters, the angry ones where I yelled and yelled because it was all too much. They don’t matter. I kept the good ones, I kept everything else. I will give them to you. Just wake up. I am begging you, don’t leave me alone in this godforsaken world, amore.”
--
He was pacing his hotel room once more, feeling restless, his hands itching to dial your phone number even though the chances of you picking up were slim to none.
It had been months since the two of you had last spoken but he still kept hope that it would all work out, that the dust would settle and that the two of you would have a chance to speak, to figure things out and to move on from this mess.
He picked up his phone, ready to dial when he noticed the clock - it was 3.30 am.
“CAZZO!” he yelled and picked up the nearest thing and threw it against the wall. Would it be a great time to order some room service? A bottle of champagne? Anything to drown out the buzzing in his head, the overwhelming need to reach out, to talk to you even if the only thing you were to say to him was to go fuck himself.
There was a knock on the door. He dragged himself to it and opened it, only to see Vic’s messy figure on the other side of the doorway.
“What the fuck!” she said, shoving him aside to walk into his room. “It’s the middle of the night, jackass. Why are you yelling?” she said, wrapping herself even tighter in the robe that she was wearing.
He ignored her question and went to rummage the minibar.
“Earth to Damiano David! What the fuck is going on?” Vic repeated herself. “I will kick your ass if you don’t give me an explanation as to why you woke me up, and probably half of the hotel at 3.30 am, asshole.”
“I want a drink.” Damiano said simply. “I really want a drink.”
“You want a drink?” Vic walked over to him. She shoved him away from the minibar only to rummage it herself. “You are not drinking alone, buddy.”
“Vic, you don’t have to do this.. Go back to your room and sleep.” He said, trying to steer her away.
“Tough luck. I am here, I am awake, I am ready for a drink and to listen to your dumb ass. So, spill.” she replied, grabbing one of the tiny bottles for herself.
“Vic…”
“Spill, or I will yeet you, asshole.” she took a sip from her drink. “Is it Y/N?”
He was quiet for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts in a way that wouldn’t overwhelm one of his best friends.
“I need to talk to her,” he said after taking a sip from his drink. “I promised her I wouldn’t do anything against her will, but I need to talk to her. I need to hear her voice even if it’s just her telling me to go fuck myself.”
Vic laughed. “Oh, she would definitely tell you to go fuck yourself.”
He took another sip of his drink.
“Vic, sometimes this silence… The pain of her absence is unbearable. It’s making me want to scream from the top of my lungs.” he admitted. “It’s like… it feels like half of my soul is gone. It feels like I have been weightless for months now, like I am drowning in a sea of pain, with hope nowhere in sight.”
Vic sighed and moved closer to him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder.
“Why didn’t you tell her all of this when she was leaving?”
“You didn’t see her then. She was… she was devastated. She wanted to go and the thought that I was causing all of that pain… Of course, I let her go.”
“Then… I don’t know what to say, Dami. I miss her too. She is my sister, whether she rejects me now or not. I will always love her.”
Both of them sat in silence, Victoria running her fingers through Damiano’s hair, trying to soothe him enough to sleep.
“Write letters.” she got the idea suddenly. “Write letters to her. Write down everything that you wish you could tell her. Pour out your pain on paper, just like you do when you write songs. Hell, take pictures, print them, attach them to the letters. Write angry letters too but maybe burn those. Or burn all of them, it’s up to you. But you want to talk to her? Write her letters. And if you do decide to keep them and one day you find your way back to each other, you can give them to her.”
He considered his friend’s words for a second.
“That’s very Notebook of you, Vic.” he smiled.
“Oh, shut up!” she chuckled, shoving him once more.
“I will, I hadn’t thought about that, writing her letters. But I will write to her.” he kissed Vic’s cheek. “Thank you and I am sorry for waking you up.”
“This advice isn’t for free, breakfast is on you tomorrow.” Victoria laughed before leaving him with his thoughts.
He picked up the pen and paper and didn’t look back.
--
He must have fallen asleep, resting his head on the blankets enveloping you. The buzzing wouldn’t stop, though. His phone was blowing up.
“Dami????” there were fifty or so messages of the same sort, from Vic and the others.
“Any updates? HELLO.” Vic was using a variety of emojis, trying to convey her frustration. He looked at the clock and saw that it had been several hours since your mother had let him in. He looked around and saw that the corridor was empty save for the guards and sat back down.
“I fell asleep.” Dami typed in the chat. He realized that they had work that afternoon and groaned. The thought of having to go back to the hotel, to change, to go work and pretend like none of what happened was real life was giving him anxiety.
“You okay? Do you need anything?” Thomas chimed in. “Have you eaten?”
“Not hungry, but thank you.”
“You need food, Dam.” Ethan chimed in as well. “How is she?”
“Nothing has changed. She is still a sleeping beauty.”
“Do you want us to bring over something?” Vic added. “I can bring you a change of clothes.”
“I have to come back to the hotel to change and get ready for those interviews, don’t I?” Damiano replied, not wanting to be reaffirmed.
“Didn’t you read the whole chat? We postponed everything indefinitely. Well, Leo did.” Ethan replied. Damiano started shaking.
“Interviews don’t fucking matter, right now.” Leo finally added. “What can we do for the two of you? Please, let us know how we can help.”
He wanted to hug his friends.
“Thank you. Thank you so so so much.” he managed, tears spilling from his eyes once again. “I will keep you updated.”
He leaned back in the chair, arm reached out to hold yours and closed his eyes. He hadn’t called home since letting them know that the band had made it to Paris but he was sure that they had all seen the news and that they were waiting for him to say something.
He opened the Familia chat, seeing the unread notifications from his mother, father and brother. He couldn’t think clearly enough to type, or to go through all the messages so instead, he dialed his mother’s phone number.
“Bambino!” she sounded relieved to hear him. “Oh, I was so scared that something had happened to you too. Are you okay, my love?”
“I… I am okay. I saw her earlier yesterday, before it all went to shit and it was good for a second until… until it all went to shit, mama.” he spoke softly, the memory of seeing you in the cafe, healthy, smiling at your friends replaying in his mind.
“What can we do? Oh, I’ve been worried sick.” Dami’s mother added.
“Mama, I am sorry for not reaching out earlier. I know I should have, it’s just… it’s all too much. I can’t lose her, mama.”
“I will pray for her, bambino. I will pray for her as I have prayed for you every day since you were born.”
“Thank you, mama. I will keep you updated.”
“Ti amo, bambino.” he smiled a little.
“Ti amo, mama.”
--
He kept going in and out of sleep, his own emotions threatening to overwhelm him any second.
Your mother’s hand carefully shaking him awake startled him.
“Hey…” she spoke quietly, as if afraid of waking you up.
“Hi..” he stretched his arms and took your hand in his own again.
“I brought you some soup and a croissant.” she said, pointing at the small table. “I am glad you managed to get some sleep.”
“I am not hungry, but thank you.”
“Dami, you need to eat, bambino. Starving yourself will not help her. She has a long road ahead of her and she will need us at full capacity. Starving yourself will not do you or her any good. Please, it’s just soup.”
He leaned to kiss your hand carefully before going to the bathroom to wash his face. He ignored the dark shadows under his eyes. They didn’t matter. There were more important things than his vanity.
He walked back in quietly and sat down to try to eat.
“I can go get some things for you if you need. From her apartment or wherever…” he suggested. “I won’t pry, of course. Or I can ask Vic to go get them if you’d be more comfortable.”
Your mother took a second before answering. “No need, bambino. I did what I had to do before I came back…”
“Uh.. Leo cancelled and postponed my work, so if it’s okay with you, I’ll stick around until she tells me to leave.” he explained shyly.
“And if she asks you to stick around?” your mother asked tentatively, playing with corners of the blanket. “If she asks you to stay and be with her again? Can you forgive her, Dami? Can you forgive her for hurting you and herself?”
“Of course.” he left the small table and wrapped his hands gently on her shoulders. “Two years ago, I promised her that I will always be there for her and that I would not do anything against her will. I stood by my words then, I am standing by them now. If she wants me here, I will find a way to stay or to bring her with me when she recovers.”
Your mum kissed his cheek. “You were always too good, bambino.”
He didn’t know what to make of her words so he only nodded and went back to finish his meal. He didn’t pay attention to bites or anything, the hurricane within him threatening to spill. I need a smoke, he thought to himself and was determined to go, only to realize that there might be paparazzi outside and it might do more harm than good.
The internal tornado was interrupted by a loud wail.
What is a child doing here? He asked himself.
Your mother sprang on her feet and rushed to the corridor and his curiosity made him get up and follow her.
“He woke up and started screaming when he saw that you and his mom were not there.” the woman holding the child told your mom who reached out to hold the little boy. Damiano felt frozen, the small figure was hidden in your mother’s arms but the wails had pierced his heart already.
“I know this is a hospital and he shouldn’t be here but I thought that .. I couldn’t watch him cry. He cried all day yesterday too.” the woman said carefully and finally looked up to notice Damiano. “I can take him home but… just talk to him for a bit before, please.”
“Who is that?” Dami asked your mother. She froze and he could see the tension in her shoulders.
“Dami…”
“Who is that?” he repeated again and she turned around, holding the small figure in her arms. Damiano felt like someone had pulled the rug under his feet. For a moment, he was teleported to his family home and saw a picture of himself as a toddler, a picture that his father had taken.
“Dami, this is Dante…” she walked closer to Damiano, still holding the upset child who had focused his gaze on Dami. “Dante is…” she swallowed hard. “He is Y/N and your son…” he moved his gaze from the child to your mother, whose eyes were full of tears.
“I have a son?”
99 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 17:58:03 GMT
#1
Home is Where the Heart is - A Damiano David Story
Pairings: Damiano David x Fem! Reader
Word count: 4.3k words
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, smoking, heartbreak, accident.
Angst, heartbreak and pain
Description: Damiano's heart gets broken but he accepts his fate because the happiness of the love of his life means more to him than anything. He gives her space to stay or leave, even if it kills him. And she makes the choice to leave because the secret that she is keeping will make him grow resentful in the long run and she will end up losing him anyway.
A/N: This is me dipping my feet back into writing and I look forward to writing more of this. My requests are open so if you want, you can leave a request and I'll try to get back to it asap. Feedback is welcome too.
Leaving him and the life you had known you two had built was the most difficult decision you had ever made. You had been there since the very beginning, agreeing that you would stay with him through thick and thin. You had been there through the street singing, the school struggles, the auditions, the disappointments and the wins. You had grown up together, given your hearts to each other.
“You can’t just pack your things and leave,” Damiano looked at you, heartbreak written all over his face. “What happened? Why can’t we talk about it?”
“Is there anything to talk about, really?” You replied, pushing your own pain deep down, refusing to break and tell him the truth. He was on the verge of a breakthrough in his career and the truth of why you wanted to leave would send it all to hell.
“Why can’t you just communicate with me?” he pleaded, his tone rising slightly. You turned your back on him and kept shoving clothes into the suitcase. “Is this a forever goodbye?” you heard him get off the bed and rushed into the bathroom, trying to ignore the nausea rolling over you.
“Because Dami, there is nothing that either of us can say that will make me change my mind. Because this is insanity and I can’t keep with it anymore. It’s too much.”
“So this is because of the band! You finally admit it!” his voice went slightly up again. He rarely shouted and right now he was acting like he was trying to not scare you off. “You are ghosting because of the band. Did someone threaten you?”
“Damiano, stop this.” you looked at him, the look of heartbreak shattering you over and over again. “You need to focus on your work, on the band, the world is at your feet right now. I need to move on and find something for myself, something that will give me the happiness that I deserve.”
“So I have not made you happy then, is that it? Tell me what to do, please. Tell me and I’ll do anything and everything but just give me another chance.” he pleaded, coming over to hold your hands. Your eyes filled with tears and one rolled down your face.
“Dami…” you hiccuped quietly. “Dami, I can’t do this anymore.”
He gently lifted your face so you could look at him.
“I will always love you. Always. My love for you is endless and irrevocable.” he pressed his lips gently to yours, a tear rolling down his own face before stepping away. “You are free, amore mio. Free to stay, free to leave. If you need me, you can always find me, but I will not ask for your love or ask you to stay against your will.” he left the bathroom and a few seconds later you heard the soft click of the room door closing.
Your knees finally giving in, you slid down to the ground, sobs escaping your chest.
It was done.
---
It never got easier for you to hear or to stumble upon information about Måneskin.
Even almost two years down the line, it stung whenever you heard about Damiano or the others. You hadn’t lost just your boyfriend that day, you had lost three of your closest friends too - the people you had called your found family.
You were sitting in a café in sunny Paris, sipping on your coffee when you heard loud, familiar sounding laughter behind you.
“Cazzo, Thomas, can you be any more clumsy?” a feminine voice sounded. You got goosebumps hearing the voice of your friends after so long. You froze in your spot, hoping and praying that they wouldn’t notice you sitting there because the likelihood of Damiano being with them was not small and you weren’t sure if you could deal with seeing him face-to-face without shattering all over again.
You raised your book a bit, acting like you were reading when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
“Excuse-moi,” Vic was looking down at you and you sighed before putting down the book to look at her. She was smiling and you felt tears welling up in your eyes.
“Hi Vic,” you smiled through tears, eager to throw your hands around her, to act like you didn’t leave them all behind but you didn’t know how she would react, if such a gesture would be welcome.
“Is that all I get?” the blonde chuckled, tears welling in her eyes too before pulling you up for a hug. “Where have you been, cucciola?” she squeezed you tightly, earning a yelp which made the boys giggle. It was really difficult to not sob and just act like this is not a big deal after all this time. It was a big deal, they were your family and since breaking up with Damiano, you had talked to them a little, slowly fading in the background, messaging less and less with the hope that they would forget about you.
“Here and there, you know.. Congratulations on your success.” your gaze moved from Vic to Thomas and Ethan who were waiting to give you a hug too. Both of them squeezed you tightly and you were shaking a little by the time all the pleasantries were done.
“He is not with us.” Vic added, noticing that you were looking around and tension immediately left your body. You hoped that she wouldn’t be lying to you and sat back down.
“Please sit, I’d love for us to catch up if you have time.” you offered, smiling at them.
“We have half an hour.” Ethan amended, taking a seat across from you.
“Even if we didn’t, we can’t miss an opportunity like this.” Thomas added, bumping Vic before sitting down between her and Ethan. “So what has been going on?”
“Yeah, cucciola, what have you been up to since ghosting?” Vic looked at you.
You were chewing on the inside of your lip, unsure of what to say or how to say it.
“I moved here and decided to start over. But you know that.” you took a sip of your coffee, looking for an excuse to gather your thoughts.
“Yes, we are deeply aware of you leaving everything behind.” Ethan said between sips of his tea. “The question is why did you do that?”
Thomas nudged him in the ribs, always the gentlest one trying to spare everyone’s feelings, including his own.
“Because I needed a new start, Eth. Because I couldn’t keep going with Dami and … I wasn’t meant for the rockstar life that all of you chose.” you explained calmly.
“We did have to deal with his sobbing ass for months on end.” Vic said after taking a bite of her croissant. “And then with him writing ballad after ballad pining for you.”
Thomas nudged Vic this time. “She had a right to choose, how he dealt with it is not her responsibility neither should she listen about it.”
Bless his heart.
“Vic, I am sorry the breakup impacted you like that…”
“Oh, it wasn’t the breakup that impacted us, more like you vanishing from our lives like none of it really happened.” the blonde was giving you a look.
“Vic… I am sorry. How can I hang around you three with him lurking there constantly? And, I moved here while you four conquered the world…” Just as you were saying this Victoria’s phone lit up with a picture of Damiano, him calling her. You felt your heart sink.
“This is bullshit.” Vic said, turning over her phone, keen on ignoring her friend’s phone call. “You are our sister and you vanished like smoke, no explanation, nothing. You acted like none of it mattered. None of the fun, the tears, the joy, none of it. You acted like Damiano was the center of the Universe and with you two breaking up, everything else fell apart.”
“Vic, it’s more complicated than that…”
“Care to explain to all of us, cara?” you froze once more, hearing Damiano’s voice behind your back. “It’s lovely to know that you’d ignore my call in favor of our dear, Vic.” he lit a cigarette.
His voice pierced your skin like a thousand daggers. You had caused all of this. The choices you had made, and now all of you were bearing the consequences. You had no problem with your new life, even though it was nothing like what you imagined, you still cherished it for what it is and you wouldn’t let anyone talk down on you.
So you stood up. Stood up and looked the love of your life straight in the eyes. He had grown out his hair once more,the curls showing subtly and he had a stubble. He looked tired.
“So, cara?” he asked again, taking another drag from the cigarette.
“I told you everything you needed to know two years ago, Damiano. I don’t owe anyone anything.” you said calmly, refusing to succumb to his glare. You turned around to look at his bandmates.
“It was nice seeing you. I’d love to talk more but I need to go and run some errands now. We can catch up some other time.” you smiled faintly, kissed their cheeks and left, more or less in a rush. The urgency to go home was unbearable.
“Y/N, wait!” you heard as you were just about to turn the corner. Damiano was running after you. “I am sorry I ambushed you… You should be able to hang out with Thomas, Ethan and Vic without worrying about me ambushing you. I just… I never expected to see you again and when I did, when those paparazzi pictures leaked, I had to find you while you were still with them.”
“What paparazzi pictures, Damiano?” his words triggered a world of terror within you. You hated being photographed and being photographed with the band would only raise questions and it would annihilate the world you had carefully built for yourself.
Damiano read the terror in your eyes.
“Vic, Ethan and Thomas were followed to the café and a pap shot some pictures of you four talking. That’s why I called Vic and that’s how I found you…”
“Merde!” you slammed your fist against the nearest wall, winced and rested your forehead against it. “Just… Please leave me. I can’t do this more than I could two years ago, Dami. Too much is at stake.” You turned around to look at him. He took a few tentative steps closer to you, reaching to touch your face.
“What I told you two years ago is still very much valid, amore.” he said quietly. “I don’t want to force you into anything nor will I. I will do my best to ensure that the paps don’t bother you.” he caressed your cheek with a callused finger before turning around and walking away just as you had asked him.
---
“Did you have to stalk us?” Vic complained out loud as they were walking back to their hotel rooms.
“Did you have to talk to her?” Damiano replied, lighting yet another cigarette. He had smoked several in the short while since your encounter.
“Of course I had to talk to her, asshole! She is my best friend even if she has forgotten it!” Vic smacked his arm. “Something is going on with her and I will get to the bottom of it.”
“Vic, she has made it clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with us, why are you going to push her? This time she might drop off the map completely.”
“We should respect her boundaries…” Ethan added.
“Exactly.” Dami agreed. “Nothing seems to have changed since that day.”
Boy, was he wrong.
---
Walking home took ages but you took a detour, always looking over your shoulder to check that no one was following you home. Scared that the paparazzi would follow you once more as they had once in Italy, you knew that you had to lay low for at least a couple of days until the dust settled or the band left France.
You knew you had to check what they had on you and so your fingers made quick work of finding the pictures from today. Thankfully, most of the pictures had been of Vic, Ethan and Thomas, taken from behind your back so your face wasn’t really showing in most of them and even better - there were no pictures (and hopefully there wouldn’t be) of you and Damiano afterwards.
What you did find once you fell in the Maneskin rabbit hole - Damiano was back with his old flame. His old flame who had been spotted with them at the airport just yesterday as they landed in Paris.
Surprisingly, it did not sting as much as you had expected. Of course, he had to move on with his life, he was still very young. I am young too, you reminded yourself.
Your phone buzzed with a new message - a text from Vic.
“Wanna go out for drinks later?” Vic was asking. “You can come over or we can go somewhere, take me on a tour of Paris, have a girls’ night, just like old times?”
You read the message, unsure of what to say. If you asked, your mother would stay over through the night and you could go and have fun, just as she had been begging you to do for over a year now.
“Vic… will it be just you and me?” you replied tentatively.
“Yes, as I promised. Thomas and Ethan agreed to help keep Damiano busy.” Vic promised. “Come on, Y/N. I miss you and we couldn’t catch up properly. Please.”
You wanted to sob.
“I can come over.” Vic suggested again. The idea of Vic coming over and taking a look into what you had built, into your new life… it was terrifying because you knew that despite her best intentions, or maybe exactly because of them, it would all go back to Damiano and then it would all turn to shit.
“It’s okay. We can grab some food, there is a really lovely restaurant I’d love to take you to.” you replied back which earned you a voice message with her squealing.
“I’ll see you at 6.30 pm.” you sent her a link with the location of the restaurant and went to the other room, where your mother was quietly crocheting. She looked up smiling at you.
“Yes, my love?” she put down her yarn and hook and cupped your face as you sat down on the floor, feeling like a little girl all over again. You swallowed back the tears that were threatening to drown you.
“He is in town…” you started quietly. “They all are. I saw them…”
“My love, does that mean that you’ve changed your mind?
“Of course not.” you shook your head. Your mother had agreed to support you in all the ways she could once you had left your life in Italy, moving away with you to France. “I agreed to have dinner with Victoria. She promised we would be alone and we could catch up.”
“She will see right through you, my love. As she always has.” your mother gently dabbed away at your tears. “I am only worried that all of this will end up blowing up in your face.”
You had known about your mother’s worries all along. A part of you knew that what you had chosen to do was unfair to him, unfair to all of you, really but another part of you knew that if you had chosen to stay it would have held him back and he would have gone on to resent you. There was no winning option so you took an out.
“I know it might blow up in my face. I know that there are few scenarios in which no one gets hurt. I know everyone has been hurt already but I made my choices and I am sticking with them until something changes my mind.” you sniffled and got up, going to the quiet room down the corridor where soft ambient noise was playing. You looked at the small figure on the bed, sleeping peacefully and quietly walked over, placing a gentle kiss on the forehead.
“Ti amo, angelo mio.” you whispered softly, tucking in the sleeping figure before going in the bathroom to shower and get ready for going out with Vic.
--
“Do not push her into anything, do not try to get them back together either.” Ethan told Vic as she was getting ready. Thomas and Damiano were in Damiano’s room, writing melodies and bouncing lyrics off each other and Ethan decided to talk to Vic before the meeting.
“Why would I push her into anything?”
“Because you’re you, Vic! Because you have this idea of love, because they are our best friends and we saw how miserable Dam was after they broke up. Because he started pining as soon as we got back to the hotel even though he is not alone on this trip.”
“Which is why he should be fighting to get back with her.”
“You have no idea what happened between them.”
“I have an idea that they are both stubborn assholes, who need to see that they are better off together…”
“Vic, you won’t do any good if you push her. If you push either of them. And it’s not fair to his friend.”
Victoria sighed, clearly annoyed. She and Damiano’s friend did get along but it was clearly a sex arrangement and nothing more. After all, it was Vic that had listened to and stayed with Damiano, comforting him time and time again whenever the grief from the breakup would hit him like a truck.
“Please.”
“You are not going to listen to a word I say, so why do I even bother?” Ethan rolled his eyes, kissed Vic on the cheek and went to walk out of the room. “Call if you need me to pick you up, please. And call when you get home.” he winked before leaving the bassist alone.
---
You got to the restaurant early, excitement and anxiety mixing and making you restless. You were excited to see your best friend but also anxious that she would learn the truth, that she would get it out of you.
“Y/N!!!!” Vic squealed and ran to you, hugging you tight. You cherished the hug, pulling her close to you and holding her just for a second.
“Hi, cucciola.” you smiled.
“I am so glad you didn’t bail on me.” Vic squealed again and the two of you walked over to the table that you had reserved.
“I promised, Vic.” you said carefully. “And there is one reason I would bail and that reason is not here so I intend on catching up with you, girls night and all.”
“Yeah, we can talk about that reason, if you want.” Vic said cautiously, looking at you like the flight risk that you were. Both of you ordered a bottle of wine to share as well as dinner.
“So, how have you been?” you asked your friend, studying her carefully.
“Good, I love everything that is happening to us. I love that we travel and that we are breaking more and more stereotypes and that we are having fun and creating. It’s amazing. The tour after Eurovision was absolute insanity, I feel like I blacked out for months on end but it was a wonderful time.`` She smiled raising her glass to take a drink after.
“I am so happy for you.”
“And what about you? What happened after?”
“I packed everything and moved here. Travelled through Switzerland for a bit before coming here and then I found my apartment and settled. I found a few freelance gigs and grew them into a business and that’s what I have going on.”
“So you freelance and you decided to stay in Paris?” Vic asked, you only nodding.
“What about your love life?”
“What about it?”
“Y/N, you are a catch. Please don’t act like a dumbass. Are you single?”
“Well, yes but that’s by choice. I just don’t .. feel like dating.”
“You don’t feel like dating or you are not over Damiano?”
“Damiano is not a topic of conversation at this dinner, Vic.”
“Ouch.”
You took a sip of wine.
“He isn’t over you either, Y/N. You know that, right?” Vic asked between bites of her food.
“Sure.”
“He isn’t. He has a friend with benefits, yes but that doesn’t mean there is romance involved.”
“Has anyone told you that you are a busybody, Victoria?” you tried to laugh off the ball of anxiety in your stomach.
“Has anybody told you that you are lying to yourself, Y/N?” Vic laughed back at you. “I understand if the pressure around the band is too much for you to handle, I understand that you don’t want to be hounded by people day in and out but you lying to yourself and to everyone else that Damiano is not the love of your life makes you only full of crap.”
You didn’t know how to respond, but you knew that being defensive with Victoria was beyond pointless.
“Vic… it’s not about whether or not he is the love of my life. Maybe he is, maybe our great love died out, maybe I sacrificed it.” you took a bite out of your food, it tasted like ash with all the emotions running through you.
“Then why not give him another shot?”
“Vic, he literally came to Paris with her, he is not single and even though I am, that doesn’t mean that we should get back together.”
“Y/N, he hasn’t shut up about you since you left. He tried to not talk about you but it was killing him so we pried it out of him and he pours you into all the music, into every performance, into everything. You are everything even though you are not with us.”
You were shocked. Her words took your breath away and yet, what could you do? You going back to him would literally make his life implode and his happiness was more important than anything.
“I can’t go back to him, Vic. It would do more harm than good even if we were to get back together.” you swallowed hard.
“You two are complete fucking morons.” she spat out, frustrated and her bluntness surprised you. “We pushed him to find you, we pushed him to go after you, we pushed him to take some action and he refused, saying that he wouldn’t force you to be with him. You, on the other hand, refuse to be with him FOR THE SAKE OF HIS HAPPINESS.” she poured more wine for herself and for you.
You downed half of the glass in one breath, trying to drown out the racing of your heart, her words about the two of you, his look earlier today.
“It’s unfair on his girl, Vic. You shouldn’t be here pushing me to get back with him when he is with someone else.”
“Oh please, they are just using each other for sex. It doesn’t mean shit. She is lovely but she will never be you.”
“Very feminist of you.”
“Shut up.” Vic finished her food first. “So where are we going for the afterparty? We had dinner and drinks, where are we moving the party to?”
The alcohol was surely making you dizzy, having not eaten too much of the food because of your anxiety, so you weren’t sure that going for more activities would be a wise decision.
“Vic, I am too drunk for anything else.”
“Oh, come on! Did you become a nun when you moved to France? Fine, you don’t want to get back with Damiano but did you completely forget that you are young? We are in the city of love, amore!”
“Yes, we are in the city of love but it’s also way past my bedtime and I am too drunk to function.” you chuckled, asking the waiter for the bill. Vic glared at you.
“We are here for another six days so I will expect you to make this up to me, asap. You have a lot of atoning to do for ditching me two years ago.” she pouted and you kissed her cheek as you two walked out of the restaurant. “Plus, you can always come visit me in Italy so we can keep catching up. Thomas and Ethan miss you too.”
“I miss the three of you a lot too, Vic. I am sorry I ghosted, it’s just that … you know.”
“Yes, yes, I understand.”
You really don't. You have no clue. You wanted to say.
---
Vic got back to the hotel rather quickly after leaving the restaurant, not that drunk but more so annoyed by the little information that she had managed to gather. She swiped the key card of her room and changed into something more comfortable (read: a very oversized shirt and nothing else) when she remembered her promise to Ethan. She picked up her phone and typed out “I am home” before going back to her bedtime routine.
Vic had just settled into bed after calling home to check on Chili when someone pounded hard on her door.
“Vic, open up!” Ethan pounded again. “It’s important!”
She threw on some panties and rushed to open the door, looking at her friend who was crying.
“Turn on the TV.” he said, rushing to the small table where the remote was and scrolling to the channel he was looking for, his tears not faltering for a second.
The news was on.
“Ethan…”
He only raised his hand to silence her as she tried to decipher what the news was saying.
“What is happening?”
He switched to the Italian channel which was also broadcasting the same news, showing a car crushed in downtown Paris. The headline was saying - The Italian Princess Diana? Ex girlfriend (Y/N Y/L/N) of Italian rockstar Damiano David involved in a car accident after a chase in downtown Paris. Stay tuned for updates.”
104 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 19:55:42 GMT
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Never Have I Ever | Changbin (3/?)
pairing: seo changbin x reader (fem)
genre: university au, awkward friends to ? something more? smut, house party
tw: sex, attempted date rape (spiked drink), mild panic attack, unprotected sex, penetration, cursing, praising, mild dom!changbin kink, oral sex (fem;receiving), fighting?
word count: 6.8k
ch.one | ch.two
synopsis: you’re forced to face Changbin after ghosting him for weeks, and things happen.
note: I suffered A LOT writing this so please SUFFER WITH ME. Shout out to sera aka @seraplantery for thirsting over changbin with me and his new fresh undercut as i wrote this 🥺 you the real one✨ again, i would love it if you let me know what you thought about this etc. i would love to interact more with those you read my fics!! 🥰 feel free to drop ideas or suggestions/requests in my inbox~ ps. if you would like to be added to the tag list for ✨NHIE✨ please let me know via inbox/message ❤️
taglist: @seraplantery @chang-binnie @synnocence @lordseochangbin
“Spill it, sister.” The way Hyunjin crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently reminded you of your mother when you were in high school, waiting for a confession after sneaking out to a party the night before with the guys.
Suddenly, the ramen hanging out of your mouth that linked to your chopsticks seemed one hundred times more interesting than looking at Jinnie. He was good at seeing through your lies but mostly because you were such a bad liar.
When your only response was a shrug, he let out an exaggerated sigh. “You’ve been acting sus for days now.”
“How?” You asked, still avoiding his gaze, sipping on your straw.
“Well, for starters, you’ve stopped pestering us about what happened at the party.” He eyed you up and down. “Did you remember?”
“Just that we watched a hot ass morning sex video.” You said wiggling your eyebrows. “Really, there’s nothing going on.”
That was a lie.
The only thing that was running through your mind most of the time these days was Changbin. Since that night you went to see him you couldn’t stop thinking about his touch. His skin. His lips. The way he tasted. Changbin got your number from Chan, but you were avoiding him. He wasn’t one to chase or push either, so when you didn’t reply to his first message he didn’t send another.
Chan already interrogated you about the night he walked in on you blowing Changbin, and asked why you haven’t talked to him. You could only assume Changbin told Chan you were ghosting him, and Chan knowing you like the back of his hand decided to mediate. You were grateful, because he never judged you for being an asshole or ghosting people. You were always like this and you had been told by many people that you were “too much”, but not Chan. That’s what made you love him and run to him. Even when you didn’t run to him because you were too self-conscious and didn’t want to annoy him, he’d go to you. Talking with Chan helped you realize you didn’t know anything at all and that it would all be okay regardless.
“You know what your problem is, (Y/N)?” Chan started two weeks after you went to see Changbin at his apartment.
“No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” You were laying upside down on your couch, feet hanging over the backrest next to Chan who was sitting upright typing away on his laptop.
“You avoid thinking about your feelings. Instead of trying to face them head on and figure them out, you just run away.”
Ouch. The truth of his words stung.
“Just slap me next time will ya?” He rolled his eyes at your remark.
“I’m serious.” He closed his laptop placing it on the coffee table before giving you his full attention taking your hand in his as if you were a child. “Look, you know I love you. I care about you and I want to see you happy. That’s why we need to figure this out together. Tell me, when you look at Changbin, what do you feel?”
That was a tough question to answer. “Do I really have to think about that?” You whined.
“Yes.” He said sternly in his dad voice. “We’re going to figure this out together because if not you’re just going to continue this vicious cycle forever and I won’t stand by it.”
Sighing, you closed your eyes trying to find something, anything that you could put into words.
The image of seeing Changbin for the first in over a year at Seungmin’s house party at the start of summer came rushing back. You were sitting at the bar table in the wide living room of Seungmin’s mansion in a champagne slip dress and red lips talking your half tipsy ass off with your girl friend when she gasped at a hot guy who walked in. The place was overflowing with bodies, the heat made your skin slightly damp and the music was loud. There was a mixture of cigarette smoke and the smell of booze flowing in the air, basically it smelled like a good time.
“Who’s that hottie coming in with Felix?” She had asked shouting over the DJ and pointing at the door with her free hand, drink in the other.
Your heart had stopped and the smile you had plastered on your face slowly faded as you saw Changbin walk in, leather jacket, hood up, hat covering his features, but you knew it was him. He was scanning the crowed, high-fiving and bro hugging Seungmin and Minho as they found him. Minho had turned to find you amongst the crowd and nodded your way, Changbin found you but turned away. He never went up to you that night and you didn’t either.
“I feel sad.” You admitted, voice only slightly above a whisper.
“That’s good, (Y/N). That’s a good place to start.”
[three days later]
“Another party?”
Everyone was gathered around in your apartment eating your food and playing video games.
“Yeah, my parents are going overseas again so it’s the perfect time. I think we all could use a good old fashion house party.” Seungmin, respectable Virgo though he may be, was notorious for his house parties. He always had the best DJ’s, the best drinks and most importantly a big house.
“God knows we need to let loose, especially (Y/N).” Felix smirked over at you wiggling his eyebrows, blocking the pillow you threw at him.
“Besides, it’ll be funner this time since Changbin is back and we’ve been hanging out.” The room went quiet at Jeongin’s comment, just the video game sounding in the background “Oh… was I not suppose to say that?”
“Just focus on your game the grown ups are talking.” Hyunjin hushed the younger boy. “Everything is set to go we just need to go shopping.”
“We?” Everything sounded amazing except parties meant socializing, dressing up and being in public. You had a love hate relationship with parties, about as much as you had a love hate relationship with everything else in life.
[]
The weekend came faster than you could have hoped for and that mean the party did too. All you could think about was how you planned to avoid Changbin, though it shouldn’t be too hard in a house that big. You did it once before. The truth was, maybe you were scared to genuinely fall for him, just as he had said he was afraid of falling of falling for you. The only thing you knew how to do when you were unsure of anything was to run away.
Chan was right and you knew it. Your flight instinct was all you were good at but even you knew it would be your downfall eventually.
“Wear this. From your bestest friend in the whole wide world – Jinnie”
Hyunjin stopped by while you were in the shower and shouted a quick goodbye, reminding you to not be “late” to the party before rushing back out in less than a minute. You pulled your towel closer to your cold body before opening the top of the box and pulling out a really short, strappy, silk red slip dress.
“Does he want me to die of hypothermia?” you mumbled to yourself before doing your hair and make up. All the while constantly checking your phone to keep tabs on Chan’s eta. The best you could do was curl your hair and do some basic face makeup since you loved striking more with red lips rather than heavy eyes. Since the party had a rave vibe you opted for a way heavier highlight than normal and sprinkled a bit of body glitter along your collarbones and shoulders.
“(Y/N), I’m here !” Chan’s voice rang out as you heard him shuffling from the entrance to your room.
“Are you rea– damn girl, who are you?” He stopped dead in his tracks taking you in from head to toe.
“Fuck, this is too slutty right?” You turned from your long mirror to face Chan.The dress fit you well enough, but it was so short and low cut you thought your boobs would fall out at one wrong move, not that you had much to begin with, but this dress sure made it seem like you had a decent amount of cleavage. “Shit, I need to find something else to wear. I swear Hyunjin just wants to make me look like–”
“No! Don’t you dare, you look amazing, you are totally wearing that tonight. Just take a good coat so you don’t get sick.” Just like Chan to nag, you couldn’t help but laugh at his comment.
By the time you both made it to the party it was close to 10pm, definitely late. The taxi left you at the gate at the bottom of a small hill. Making your way up you were grateful you opted for a pair of black boots instead of heels. There were a lot of people making their way up to the house and people spilling out of the house as you got closer. The bass could be heard since you stepped out of the taxi and the closer you got the sounds of chatter, heavy laughter and shouting got louder. Crowds made you nervous but holding on to Chan’s arm made you feel better. After a few drinks you wouldn’t be as nervous or anxious. Alcohol had a way of numbing just about anything.
Stepping into the house the heat of bodies welcomed you, almost immediately encouraging you to take off your coat before handing it to Chan who in turn put it, along with his in the hallway closet. You were familiar enough with Seungmin’s house to be able to use certain areas of his place that would otherwise be deemed unappropriated for others.
“Welcome, welcome friends.” Seungmin said greeting you and Chan with a hug. Hyunjin and Felix followed close behind.
“Wow, (Y/N) that dress looks so much better than I imagined!” Hyunjin didn’t trust your sense of taste when it came to party or club attire so he had the habit of picking things up for you ever since you all started partying and clubbing together junior and senior year of high school.
Felix handed you a drink with a sympathetic look, maybe your nervous were louder on your face than you realized. You looked around the crowd trying to see if you could spot Changbin’s figure but by the looks of it he wasn’t here. Even though you were avoiding him, your heart still sank a little.
Get it together, you scolded yourself.
Before you knew it you found yourself on the dance floor passing between Hyunjin, Felix and a couple of strangers. Drinks and shots started to blur as your nervous melted and you started to feel slightly dizzy at the heat and bass filling your chest. The black lights made everything neon and colorful, there were even bubble machines that left residue of shimmer on everyone’s hair, face and body as they burst.
“Whoa– whoa!” Hyunjin shouted as you grinded your ass on a guy, making you laugh and push the stranger away before turning back to Hyunjin, throwing your arms around his neck and his hanging lazily on your hips. Felix had gone off somewhere, probably the bathroom. “Do you think Changbin will show up?”
You shrugged, not wanting to ruin the fun you were having. “Who knows.”
Eventually, you found yourself alone on the dance floor still as Hyunjin went to look for Felix, probably to do other things with him.
The vibrations of the song were filling you when you felt a pair of hands grab your waist letting you know someone was there, but you couldn’t see who since they were behind you. You let your body lean back into the stranger swaying to the song coming out of the loud speakers. He felt strong and warm though he reeked of weed which immediately turned you off, but you didn’t leave him enjoying his body instead.
“Let’s grab a drink.” The stranger said, grabbing your wrist and leading you off the dance floor, weaving you through the crowd. He wasn’t half bad looking, though, the thought came to you like second nature... but he wasn’t Changbin.
You leaned against the bar, letting the coolness of the marble run up the length of your arms, without thinking you placed your forehead down the bar top to cool off a bit. It felt good against your hot skin and the heat of the room.
“Here you go.” The stranger said handing you the drink with a cocky smile.
You thanked him raising the drink to your lips. He had a dark glint in his eyes that made you hesitate. “Fuck!” You shouted as someone grabbed the wrist you were holding your drink with, jerking it away.
“What the fuck did you put in this?” It was Changbin. You froze as he grabbed the glass out of your hand, still holding onto you. He shoved the glass in the guys face, “Drink it.”
“No way, I got that for her.” He said disgust in his voice, knocking the glass out of Changbin’s hand. It shattered on the floor, but you hardly heard a thing over the loud music that was playing. “What? Is she your bitch?”
“She’s not a bitch and what she is to me is none of your fucking business.” Changbin got between you and the guy, shoving his chest.
Fuck, this was not good. You desperately looked around for Chan or Jisung, anyone that could stop Changbin better than you could. You’d seen him in enough fights to know this wouldn’t end well. Of all the good qualities Changbin had, holding back was not one of them.
“What the fuck man, I was just trying to have a little fun.” The guy shoved Changbin back, though it didn’t have much effect since Changbin had a pretty solid build.
“’A little fun’ by what? By spiking a girls drink? You must be one desperate piece of shit if you can’t get a single girl to sleep with you of their own free will.” Changbin’s words made you go cold.
Did he spike your drink when you weren’t looking?
“No, it’s just funner when their helpless.” The guy retorted.
You could feel the rage boil up in Changbin and spill over seconds before he threw his fist connecting it with the guy’s jaw, sending him stumbling into a crowd. The guy couldn’t recover before Changbin grabbed him by the collar throwing him on the ground and shoving a knee into his chest hitting him again and again.
“You low life piece of shit, I hope you rot in hell.” He said between every punch.
Fuck, fuck, fuck where the hell was everyone when you needed them?! You desperately wanted Changbin to stop fighting. The fact that they had garnered a crowd of on lookers but no one was stepping in annoyed you.
“Changbin, stop!” You pleaded but when he didn’t respond you grabbed his arm just as he was bracing to throw it again, “Please, stop!”
Changbin tensed as he turned to face you, his eyes were scary.. on fire with rage. Your eyes must have been desperate because you could feel his anger slowly start to dissipate. For a moment it was as if everything went quiet and all you could hear was your breathing and heartbeat pounding in your ears.
The stranger seized the moment and opening to escape from under Changbin’s hold and book it into the crowd shoving a few people out of the way.
“Fuck.” Changbin mumbled watching the guy run off, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
He helped you to your feet before taking you by the hand and leading you around the bar and up the grand stairwell. His pace was a little faster than what you normally walked and with the alcohol running rampant in your veins you stumbled and struggled to keep up with him, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was gripping your hand so tight you knew even if you tripped enough to fall, he would catch you.
The hallway lead off to various rooms and people were piling around room entrances and playing various games from drinking games to board games. The bass still sounded throughout the house, but you could hear a little more clearly from up here.
“Get the fuck out,” Changbin pulled you into Seungmin’s room where two people were making out on his couch. “Now.” He ordered.
The couple glanced at each other but did as they were told, which was good on their part. Changbin was scary when he was mad. You were dreading whatever was about to happen because he pulled you away from the crowd probably to scold you for almost getting yourself drugged.
The couple left closing the door behind them leaving you in a dim lit room with Changbin angrily pacing back and forth.
“You are so reckless!” Changbin’s voice made you flinch. You know he didn’t mean to, but he still needed to learn how to control his anger. “Why would you take a drink from someone you don’t know?”
All you could do was wrap your arms around yourself and avoid Changbin’s eyes. You felt like you could melt under his gaze, or burn.
“There are bad guys out there, (Y/N), just waiting for you to let your guard down enough so they can take advantage of you.” He was saying it with good intentions but that still didn’t make you any less angry about it.
“So, what the hell am I suppose to do then? Just not go out? Not drink or have any fun?” Your argument was weak but you hated being pushed around. Especially by Seo Changbin.
“That’s not the point, (Y/N) and you know it.” He stopped pacing taking an abrupt step towards you, your back hit the wall. He took another step cornering you in.
From this close you could smell his cologne, warm and musky. His chest was rising higher than normal, his anger still evident in his eyes and the way he set his jaw. Damn he looks so hot... wait shut up this is not the right time, you tried shaking the thought away but Changbin hit the wall next to your head making you jump.
“Look at me.” His voice was strained.
“Make me.” You challenged, the words leaving your lips before you could filter them out as this is a really bad idea, don’t say that.
He grabbed your jaw fingers digging into your cheeks forcing you to meet his gaze. It annoyed you how much that turned you on, you squeezed your eyes shut trying to control your lust.
“Do you like it when I get rough with you, is that it?” Changbin squeezed a little tighter until you opened your eyes meeting his. Fuck, was all you could think.
“Maybe.” You replied raising an eyebrow. “Maybe I just want to see you go insane.”
His dark laugh made you tremble.
“You know what drives me insane?” He sneered, “The fact that we had one decent, open conversation and then you ghost me like a fucking stranger you met off Tinder.”
To be fair, you knew it was coming. You shoved him off, crossing the room before slumping down on the couch, kicking your boots off and crossing one leg over the other so you wouldn’t flash him by accident.
He watched you from across the room as you noticeably gathered your thoughts before starting, “I.. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Changbin threw his head back in disbelief laughing before angrily asking if you were serious. You didn’t reply which seemed to only set him off even more. He crossed the large room in three strides before sitting down on the coffee table right in front of you leaning forward, elbows on his knees, face resting in his hands; but you didn’t flinch or shrink away this time.
“Then why did you do that to me?” His voice was lower now, his eyes were closed as if he was struggling just to say those words. As if he was trying to hid the hurt that was laced in that question.
“Because I wanted you to feel the same hurt that I felt when you abandoned me.” The words stumbled out of your mouth again before you could stop them.
You both froze.
It’s not something you consciously had thought out, but as soon as you said it you realized that was it. That was the real reason you were avoiding him, you wanted to get back at him. You wanted him to feel the same pain and loneliness you did when he left. Of what could have been but wasn’t.
“That’s fair.” Changbin concluded before straightening his back. “I don’t blame you.”
You sized him up trying to find any trace that he was lying, but he seemed a little more relaxed now. His shoulders were slack, his breathing was normal, eyes serious.
“Really?”
He nodded. “There is one thing though.” He said placing his hand on your knee before pushing it off your other leg. “I haven’t repaid you for that one time at the apartment.”
Your eyes widened as he pushed your legs apart. “Wh–what are you doing?”
He smirked at your sudden shyness. “I told you. Paying you back.”
“No, no it’s okay, I swear, just don’t mention it.” You clumsily shot up before stepping a safe distance away suddenly cursing yourself for being barefoot.
He laughed with his whole chest before standing up straight. “Come on, you were not this shy sucking me off.”
Your cheeks were burning, you were positive your face was the same color as your dress. Changbin made his way over to you, pushing your hair back behind your shoulder. The closeness of his body, the way his eyes made trails down your neck and collarbones made you tremble again, you tried crossing your arms to keep yourself still.
He noticed you shaking.
“Hey, (Y/N), it’s really okay if you don’t want to. I would never do anything you weren’t comfortable with.” His voice was soft, worried.
“It’s not that,” You trailed off averting your gaze. “It’s just I’ve never been... You know.”
“Never what?” He raised his eyebrow in that way that said, I don’t believe you,”I know you’re not a virgin.”
You rolled your eyes and scoffed, “Of course not, I mean the,” You flailed with your hand trying to get the point across without explicitly saying it, “I’ve never.. you know.”
Realization dawned on his features, “Oh... you’ve never been eaten out?”
“Fuck, yes, Changbin. That. God.” The fact that he said it out loud made you even more shy.
“You’re so cute when you’re flustered.” He said before pinching your cheek and biting his lip.
“This room’s taken.” Changbin called as a couple walked in barely keeping each other on their feet. He shoved them out before closing and locking the door behind them.
“Changbin!” You squeaked as he rushed back over to you, picking you up off the ground and carrying you to the bed before tossing you easily on it. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, one you hadn’t seen in a very long time.
“Who let you wear this dress?” He asked pulling at it teasingly; undressing you with his eyes.
“Jinnie bought it for me.” You replied. He took off his jacket, the sleeves of his black shirt were cut off revealing his biceps. “Been working out?” You asked not hiding your want anymore.
“Like what you see?” Changbin asked before pulling your legs towards him so your bum was at the end of the mattress.
You nodded, biting the tip of your finger as you gazed up at him. He ran his hands up your calves and thighs before tugging you a little closer to the edge.
“When did you get so buff?” You asked half teasing. He raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, you know just looking out for my health.”
“Sure.” You rolled your eyes laughing.
There was silence as Changbin took you in again, staring down at you, his face unreadable as always. “Would it be okay if we forgot everything for a little while?”
His words made you catch your breath in your chest. Your fingertips grazed his hands on your thighs, slowly back and forth before nodding hesitantly, “That sounds fun” You breathed.
Changbin smiled before slipping his hands under your dress and slowly pulled down your lacy black panties. He got on his knees and spread your legs open, the motion made you squeeze your eyes shut squeaking in the process, covering your face with your hands.
“Ah, what? Don’t tell me you’re still shy.” Changbin laughed before placing small kisses on the inside of your thighs, switching between the two. There was a soft romantic song playing in the distance, so you tried to focus on it to calm your increasing heartbeat as Changbin kissed and sucked small spots on your sensitive skin.
His breath was warm as were his lips and his hands felt like they were burning on your thighs. It wasn’t long until you felt your body longing for more of him. He noticed the way your breathing started to come slightly quicker, the way your legs started to unconsciously shake with want and desire. He saw the way you bit your lip trying to keep yourself from making any sound, and the way you covered your eyes with your arm, hand clenched into a fist.
He smirked wanting to make you break.
“Oh, my god.” You breathed as you felt his tongue trace along your folds. You trembled at his warm touch. He liked the way you looked from this point of view and the way you tasted on his tongue.
His mouth found your clit and you let out a “Fuck,” as he drew circles with his tongue, the sensation sending waves of pleasure that you had never felt before. It was so much better than touching yourself. He went between licking you up and circling your clit occasionally sucking on it making you whimper.
“That feels so so good,” Your hands found their way into his hair pushing it out of his eyes, he looked sexy from here.
“I’m glad you like it,” He hummed still at your core, the vibrations of his voice against your clit making you shake.
You could feel the heat starting to rise, the way that familiar knot was forming in your core.
But suddenly, you remembered the guy on the dance floor. The way he smelled of weed, the way he pushed his body against your back. The way he lead you off the dance floor and handed you the drink. The drink you almost drank, the one he drugged to...
The sensation hit you like a truck after a few minutes and you could feel the pleasure start to change into something else, your breathing was coming out faster and heavier. The walls of the room started to close in and you felt like you might pass out. Your thighs were trembling and Changbin had to hold them open to keep you from trying to close them.
“Changbin I– I– fuck, I–,” you couldn’t form a coherent sentence and panic started to rise in your chest. There were black dots starting to dance across your vision, you felt claustrophobic, “Shit, it’s really heavy. Changbin, please,”
“Please what?” He asked, noticing panic in your voice. But you couldn’t speak all you could do was clench his hair making him stop.
“I– I need to catch my breath.” Fuck why were you panicking now. You sat up clenching your chest trying to focus your breathing. Changbin was sitting back on his knees, he grabbed your face between his hands trying to get you to focus on him.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay just look at me. Focus on me.” His eyes and voice were calm but you felt a small part of you unraveling. Your chest hurt from how hard you were trying to breath, you tried closing your eyes but Changbin got your attention again, “No, (Y/N) look at me, keep focusing on me. I’m here. I’m real.”
Your eyes desperately searched his face trying to center yourself.
“The guy fro–from be–before, I– I’m having a p–anic attack,” You chocked out trying to at least tell him what was happening. It wasn’t the first time he saw you panic, but it had been a very long time.
“Okay, baby, don’t worry I’m right here. Just breathe. Can you tell me five things you can see? Come on, just five little things.” You could only see a small glint of desperation in his eyes.
“H–hair,” You chocked out looking at his dark hair, “Eyes,” His eyes that felt like home...
“That’s great, baby, really great. Three more. Just tell me three more little things you see.” Changbin encouraged, hands warm against your cheeks.
“Nose” that you loved to pinch when you would tease him in high school, “Cheeks,” they were flushed, “Lips,” they were soft and still wet from eating you out, your eyes stayed there.
“Great. Now four things you can touch.”
Your breathing was still heavy but you were a tiny bit calmer. You touched the bed for a few seconds, your dress, his hair and his hands on your face.
“Three things you can hear.” He continued calmly, voice like honey.
You concentrated, “rain, piano, your breathing.”
“Two things you can smell.”
“Beer and... your cologne.” Your eyes were closed but you were almost in complete control again.
“That’s amazing baby, now tell me one thing you can taste,”
“Dos XX.” You opened your eyes, he was smiling softly. “Damn it, Changbin I’m so sorry.”
You felt so guilty for freaking out like that. It was something that was out of your control but you still felt guilty and week for letting it overtake you like that. Especially now of all moments.
Changbin stayed on his knees looking up at you. You felt so embarrassed. Why did that have to happen now, you cursed yourself again. It had been months since your last panic attack but something about the way that guy tried to drug you made you lose your mind.
You pulled Changbin’s arm tugging him to join you on the bed. “Can you hug me for a bit, please?”
He chuckled before kicking off his shoes and climbing onto the bed. He pulled your body back with him as he sat up right against the headboard. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist as you settled between his legs. He rested his chin on your shoulder half mumbling half singing the lyrics to I will follow you into the dark and swaying you gently. You closed your eyes relaxing against his chest, feeling the vibrations as he sang the sweet words into your ear. You felt at home in his arms, they were strong and safe. Like a fortress.
After a while of being like this you shifted in his embrace enough to where you could look up at him.
“What?” He asked half worried half smiling.
“Thank you for saving me. Or well, not saving me but you know... saving me. I didn’t realize the guy was a total scumbag. I should have been more careful.” You looked down fiddling with your fingers.
Changbin was quiet for a long time before responding. “If you let me be near you again, I promise I will always keep you safe.”
You met his gaze again. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, yes, I like you. A lot, actually. But I understand if you don’t want to be with me in that way or at least not right now, but it would be really great if we could try being friends again.. like before.”
Like before.
That’s all you had ever wanted. Was to go back to how things had been before, but you weren’t sure if that was even possible anymore. So much at had changed, everything was different. You were different.
“Can we go back to forgetting everything... Just for a little while longer?” You asked placing your hand on his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. You felt tired from the panic attack, but you need to feel something. Something that would replace the fear.
“Are you sure this is okay?” Changbin asked, he was hesitating against your lips.
You nodded pulling him into a kiss, your hands getting lost in his hair. Everything seemed to rush, the way your teeth teased his lips and his yours. The way you shifted yourself to lay down on your back pulling Changbin on top of you as you did. The way his hands slipped under your dress feeling your cold skin, and yours tugging his shirt desperately. You pulled the shirt over his head tossing it to the side before he went back to your lips shoving his tongue into your mouth. You could still taste yourself on his tongue and you blushed.
“I really want you to fuck me.”
Changbin chocked at your comment before laughing, “Damn, you can be really bold sometimes. I like it.”
He wasted no time unbuckling his belt buck, he looked so sexy doing it biting his lip, he knew what he could do to you. Changbin discarded the rest of his clothes and pulled your dress off surprised to see you weren’t wearing a bra.
“What?” You teased.
“Nothing, you’re just really hot.” His lips were hot on your chest, trailing down your stomach and back up again. His hands massaging your boobs before taking one in his mouth, he nibbling on your nipple the sensation making you whimper.
You pulled him by his hair back up to your lips, your legs wrapping around his bare waist pulling his naked body to yours.
“If you make me wait any longer I’m going to go crazy,” You whined pouting at Changbin making him laugh. “Oh, fuck,” he said shaking his head, “I don’t have a condom, I forgot my wallet at home...” At this point you were so turned on you just wanted to hit him, but you needed him so desperately.
“It’s okay, I’m on the pill. Either way, I trust you.” You looked at him as you consented, before pulling his body closer to yours. The tip of his throbbing cock was teasing your entrance and you whined pushing your hips to get closer to him.
Changbin tsked, “You’re so impatient baby girl.”
“I need you, I don’t want to feel afraid anymore.” You didn’t care that the words sounded dumb or selfish, it was the truth.
“You don’t need to be afraid with me around.” He hummed into your neck brushing his head against your cheek, his hair was soft and smelled of mint. “I’ll keep you safe.” his words gave you chills.
“I know that, Changbin.” You didn’t, but you wanted to.
He slowly pushed his tip into your entrance making you squeeze your eyes shut.
“Look at me,” Changbin said grabbing your jaw in the way that was starting to feel familiar. “I want you to know that it’s me, that it’s me and no one else.”
You picked up on what he was hinting at, because there were things he noticed that you didn’t. Like what may or may not trigger another panic attack. He was right, so you kept your eyes open, watching as his face scrunched up as he pushed himself into your pussy stretching you out.
“Oh, fuck that’s tight.” He groaned, voice raspy and deep. “Fuck.”
He waited for you to adjust before continuing to move slowly in and out. You were still slick from before, so even though he filled you up it felt so good. The way he kissed your neck, and left love marks made you whine and tell him how much you had always wanted to do this.
“How many times have you thought about fucking me?” He asked, sitting back on his knees and pulling your waist higher to fuck you at a better angle. These types of positions always made you a little self conscious since he had a full frontal view, but you felt safe under his gaze.
“Too many to count.” You admitted laughing before moaning as he picked up the pace in time to the song that was playing downstairs. The friction felt like heaven and you felt the butterflies in your stomach start to turn into little knots. “Have you ever thought about fucking me?”
“Since the day I met you,” Changbin confessed between moans. “Fuck (Y/N) you feel so fucking good.”
“Changbin,” You moaned his name, eyes rolling back shut. You arched your back slightly as he pounded into you, the increased pace was making you feel hotter. “Fuck, if I would have known you were this good I would have asked you to fuck me sooner.”
He laughed at your vulgar comment, “Where? Like at the hide out?” He slammed into you again making you curse, your walls starting to clench around his cock.
“Yeah, that would have been really fun.” You found his hand and squeezed it. “Shit, I’m getting really close.” “Don’t worry baby you can cum whenever you want.” His words made you go crazy, and he praised you telling you how well you were doing. He pulled your legs up over his shoulder and bottoming you out with each and every thrust.
“Changbin, don’t stop.” You moaned as the sound of his skin slapping yours echoed louder and louder, Changbin’s breathing was hitching and you knew he was about to cum too. “Fuck,” The knots in your stomach turned into heatwaves as you released onto Changbin, he slammed into you harder and faster the friction making you see stars.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” Changbin moaned your name as he came in you, his hot white liquid filling you up and you loved the way it felt. “Shit.”
He fell on your chest letting your legs rest on either side of him, you both struggled to catch your breath but the sound was sweet in your ears. Changbin kept telling you how beautiful you looked in this mess and how amazing you felt. You ran your fingers through his wet hair, admiring his beautiful features as he rested on your chest.
“Hands down,” Changbin breathed, swallowing his spit to hydrate his dry throat, “My favorite.”
You waited for him to finish his thought but he didn’t.
“Your favorite what?” You probed, putting your arm on your forehead still coming down from your high.
“Oh, my favorite sex round.” He said still breathing heavy, laughing. The sound echoing in your chest.
“Yeah, it was pretty fucking amazing.” You agreed. Changbin pulled himself out of you slowly before settling next to you pulling you close. You rested your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat return to normal, the sound bringing you peace.
His hand traced the curve of your waist, and he did that for long time.
Eventually you both fell asleep and sometime through the night, decided to just keep sleeping getting comfortable under the covers and Changbin’s skin pressed against yours.
It was the first night in a long time where you felt like you actually rested well. The morning light woke you and for a few seconds you started to panic, until you saw Changbin’s sleeping face next to yours. Then you remembered the night before, and the amazing things you felt. You calmed your heart and snuggled back into his chest.
“Mm?” he mused lightly.
“Shh, sorry for waking you.” You whispered wrapping your arms around him tightly. He chuckled and fell back asleep in seconds.
That was until Seungmin walked through the door and started yelling every curse word in the book, “What the fuck do you guys think you’re doing in my bed. Wait, fuck, what the hell did you guys do in my bed? Don’t tell me you fucking had sex in my bed that is so fucking gross. Ew! I hate you guys, we’re not friends anymore, get the hell out of my house and wash the damn sheets before you leave I’m telling Chan on you guys..” Seungmin stormed out of the room continuing his rant.
You and Changbin exchanged looks before bursting out laughing.
“I really hope this doesn’t turn into an everyday thing when we have sex.” Changbin said whipping a tear from his eye from laughing so hard. First Chan and now Seungmin.
You prayed to the gods the same thing.
#changbin scenarios#changbin#seo changbin#skz#stray kids#seo changbin scenarios#skz scenarios#changbin x reader#skz x reader#smut#changbin smut#skz smut#changbin imagines#skz imagines#nhie#nhie3#my fic#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#skz hard hours
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i'm the anon who's critical of f'shep's design from earlier. i was very frustrated when i wrote that ask & i wish i had been more nuanced abt it, so i'm gonna try and clarify what i mean.
i don't dislike femininity and i don't think traditionally feminine aspects in character design = bad character design, or a bad character. i think it's important to include a variety in female char design, women who present traditionally feminine & women who present in a masculine way. so it's not feminine f!shep that bothers me exactly, and i think that under different circumstances it wouldn't bother me as much. but (and this is my extremely subjective opinion, and i want to mention that it's an emotional one as well) to me personally, the way they switched her design between 2&3 feels less like they wanted to include a variety of fem character design and more that they made her conventionally attractive because women have to be attractive in that traditional way. and i could get into these individual parts that society (especially 2014-era society) considered necessary for a woman to be considered pretty, but my point is less about the individual parts and more that they have to be attractive to men.
and credit where credit is due, bioware has gotten a lot better in recent years about including woman who present more masculinely (sera from da:i, cora from me:a, and jack from the ot come to mind immediately) and at this point i should probably just let it go, but... yeah.
i do 100% agree on the front that being feminine isn't inherently a bad thing and i wish i had taken more time to try and articulate myself with that first ask. also that things that are traditionally feminine shouldn't be exclusively for women. honestly it's a complicated issue, and even for this one reletively niche issue i could talk for hours in circles, and even more hours just trying to further clarify my stance.
either way this might just have to be an agree to disagree issue. sorry for ranting in your inbox for 5 paragraphs. but to try and summarize i guess my problem is less with feminine shepard, which i don't have an issue with on it's own, and more about the (possible, maybe not) motivations behind it. i hope you have a good day
Oh anon thank you for coming back and explaining it like this. I don't think we disagree at all. I probably wasn't that clear in my reply because I did mention my reaction to feminine characters (like you said, it's really complex with many things to take into account) but the male gaze really is a major issue and has been for a long time. It's all over the trilogy.
It’s entirely valid to experience some frustration and to question the motivations behind the choices made.
Have a good day as well :)
#critical#bioware critical#legendary edition#legendary critical#thoughts#Anonymous#also never be sorry to express yourself#especially when you do it so politely like this#this isn't a rant this is an interesting opinion
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