#✦ maybe the past lies in front of me. || march 7th | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tabr1-s · 7 months ago

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aventurine rant and personal critiques about 2.1's writing below

(to preface... i am biased towards Sunday and his plight, and firmly against the IPC and their plans concerning retaking Penacony. but that's not to say that i support the Family as a whole either.)

why was 80% of the 2.1 quest about Aventurine? isn't that what character stories and companion quests are for?

to begin, the first thing that bothered me was how the game seemed to want the player to believe that Aventurine's offer wasn't forced. examples below:

although it... was forced. you can tell him that you won't associate with the IPC and he will tell you not to worry about it, and just "reconsider it" by talking to your companions (mainly the Navigator, Himeko) at the express (basically implying that our opinion does not matter to him in the slightest). dialogue below:

(now i don't know if it's my personal hatred for being controlled and told what to do that's making me see this differently... but i have talked this over with a friend of mine and they do agree that it Does seem forced. i might be putting myself in an echo chamber by doing this, but at least i'm not alone!)

my point with the above is that the game tries to get you to sympathize with Aventurine from the beginning, and forces your hand when it comes to agreeing to his proposal by making some - frankly - stupid excuses as to why we should trust him. maybe others found them to be convincing/enough, but to me it just seemed like a cheap way to get the story rolling. (also, since when did we become pawns of the IPC? Penacony's debt is none of our business, and, not to get political... but it reminds me of real life sentiments that colonialist people hold about countries that "belonged to them in the past", despite that country having years of history and development since/before then (and i do not care if that country's political system is corrupt, or that they have unpaid debt. that is not an excuse to bring about war and occupation.). also, i sincerely hate how Aventurine wasn't even hiding that he views Robin's death as an opportunity, or, in his words, a "bargaining chip". we're made to sympathize with him and his dead family but he can't read the room and show some genuine sympathy himself, can he?)

...so the story goes on. we get some Welt and Acheron bits, a bit of Black Swan, and some investigation on the front of Himeko, March 7th, and the trailblazer. then the focus falls back on Aventurine. but, for the time being, it's fine - because at least he's alongside Dr. Ratio and their bickering is entertaining.

which leads to the scene where Sunday confronts Aventurine. yes, Sunday is manipulative. he begins by praising Aventurine and buttering him up, seemingly trying to get Aventurine to lower his guard. but let's not forget that Aventurine is also being manipulative - using Sunday's recent close family death as leverage for his own schemes. Sunday knows this, and so calls upon the help of Xipe, the Harmony, to bring the truth to light.

now, Sunday doesn't outright warn him about the consequences of not answering or answering falsely, but the implication is there. Sunday gives Aventurine a chance to come clean. and what does Aventurine do? he lies, basically securing his own fate like that. another example of Sunday giving Aventurine a chance to admit the truth was here:

"it's your last chance to defend your honor". up until the point where he gave Aventurine the box, Aventurine had countless chances to stop betting with his life and do the simplest thing - answer truthfully. but he didn't. so, my question is: why does all the blame fall on Sunday when it was Aventurine who got himself into that predicament in the first place? it also gets implied multiple times that Aventurine wanted that conclusion all along...

...which leads me to the next topic. people viewing him as this "genius mastermind" - when in reality, he's no more than a self-destructive gambler that simply puts faith in his good luck to lead him to the conclusion that he wants. and, honestly? that seems like a very immature mentality to me. there's nothing admirable about him risking it all time and time again, and i'm not sure why exactly i'm meant to sympathize with that part of him. also...

don't be a hypocrite yourself, Aventurine. you also lied and was planning to manipulate from the beginning - them expecting the truth from you shouldn't come as a surprise.

now, i'm not going to fully go into the 2 or so hours of pure Aventurine³ content (or, as my friend put it, "exposition vomit"), other than saying that his story could've definitely been told in a much more concise manner than what we got. i mean, good for the Aventurine fans out there, i'm happy for them. but, writing-wise, that was pretty out of place. in comparison, Acheron's backstory only got implied, and was kept mostly a mystery. you can only find bits and pieces of Sunday and Robin's upbringing by reading the letter Robin sent to her brother, and observing the "concert for two" lightcone in that same room. Firefly says some things about her condition and spends a significant part of the 2.0 quest with Trailblazer, but at least the main character is part of that story. Aventurine's case seemed like a blatant pity party from the writers - from the beginning of 2.1 til the end. now i'm not saying that his backstory isn't tragic; the first time i played through the story i sympathized with him. it was heartbreaking. but that genuinely could've been saved for a companion quest.

another thing i thought was out of place was Aventurine's hatred for the Family. seeing his backstory, i believed that they were leading up to the Family being somehow responsible for his rough upbringing/period of slavery, so that was Aventurine enacting his revenge on them. but that was... not the case. instead, he's only(?) doing this for the IPC, with no true motivation of his own. in other words, why is he trying to bring the Family down so avidly? i'm not convinced that his reasons are good enough for him to cause so much chaos to a nation/organization that has nothing to do with him. if it is purely because of the IPC's whims, then that is not very "free will" of him.

despite all my qualms, i don't hate Aventurine. the Penacony characters are hard to hate in general, for they're all intriguing in their own ways. but i do think i've been a bit too over-exposed to him. maybe i'd go as far as to say that he was overhyped - they could've handled his story better, and not simply thrown everything they had for him in one singular questline right before his release. personally, even with the characters that i have biases towards, i would prefer for their stories to be told through character stories, companion quests, texts, and readables. that way, you find out about the character on your own volition without it feeling forced. and, if their backstories are relevant to the main storyline, you can easily make it brief and showcase what's, well...

relevant.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr 2.1 #hsr 2.1 spoilers #i was writing this for 3 hours #this was spurred on by me repeatedly seeing the “i'm so glad that Sunday is dead” sentiment being expressed by mainly Aventurine fans #i got a bit ticked off #ramblings #1238 words. amen

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geezerwench · 3 years ago

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In Memory of Pepper

March 2015 ~ 07 October 2021

It’s been nearly a month since we lost our cat, Pepper, on Thursday, October 7th, 2021. He was only six years old.

The HuzBob had gotten up around quarter after six, went out to the living room, and there was our dog Jessie waiting for him, but no Pepper. Normally, Jessie greets the HuzBob and Pepper runs to the back sliding glass door, where Jessie is let out.

Then he heard Pepper yowling, crying out. He found him over by the laundry closet just past the kitchen. Pepper was lying on the floor and not getting up.Shortly thereafter, HuzBob came and got me up, telling me, “Rick, get up. Something’s wrong with Pepper.”

That woke me right up.

I was unaware of the emergency Veterinarian about 20 miles away. I waited to call our own Vet. Who happens to be about 25 miles away in the other direction. The Vet Pepper has been going to since we stole him from his feral mother. His mother was an all-black cat, with green eyes, who had a litter of six under a neighbor’s old, dilapidated shed.

Pepper had his mother’s eyes.

Our Vet said they were unable to take any emergencies that day. They gave me the number of the ER Vet in the other direction.

He was not moving or getting up. He wasn’t even flicking his tail. He seemed to be paralyzed from his waist down. We thought he had somehow injured himself, though we found nothing out of place. Everything looked as it did the night before when I went to bed. It had been a normal night. Pepper had pulled my sweater off the back of the chair, and I yelled at him and threatened to beat his ass. From across the room, he just stared at me and twitched the end of his tail. Then I went to bed.

Normal.

After looking all over the house, we could not find anything out of place, and couldn’t imagine what may have happened to him.

We had previously rolled Pepper onto a large bath towel so he wasn’t lying on the cold, wet kitchen floor, (he had urinated and rolled in it), and we moved him into the living room. At least he would be on the softer, carpeted floor.

I felt bad for waiting to call our Vet.

Not having a back board, we lifted him, using the towel, and put him in the laundry basket to transport him.

It was maybe 45 minutes later when we arrived at the ER Vet. There was a gurney-like thing near the door so we used it. The techs took some information, though we really had none to give them, and they whisked him away to the back.

I was feeling even worse, thinking I shouldn’t have waited so long to call our Vet. I should have googled an ER Vet and taken him as soon as I could.

I was still thinking there was hope. His injury could be fixed or repaired. We could work around a back injury.

They make tiny wheelchairs for dogs, right?

After about an hour, the Vet came into the exam room. There was no hope. There was no blood flow to his back legs. There hadn’t been for a while. They had tried to take his temperature and it was so low it didn’t register at all. His rear legs were stiff and cold.

The Doctor theorized he had thrown a blood clot from his heart and it had lodged in the fork where the main artery running down his body branches off to go to each leg. She also felt he had the beginnings of undiagnosed congestive heart failure. She told us hearing a cat’s heart can be very difficult, so it’s extremely hard to pick up any unusual sounds or murmurs.

There was nothing they could do. He couldn’t be fixed. He was in pain.

We had to let him go.

He was a jerk, but he was a good cat. We miss him.

Like a dragon guarding his hoard of treasure, Pepper lies among the Crocs.

Pepper on the left, at 17 pounds. Gasper, my oldest daughter's cat, on the right, at 7 pounds.

In certain lights, Pepper's eyes had a blue tint to them.

Pepper lounging on the shaving stand. It looks a little uncomfortable, but he liked it.

Feeling cute. Might gargoyle for a while. IDK

The size of that cat. That's a 12-inch ruler there in front of him.

Who doesn't have a photo of their Cat-in-the-Box? He especially liked the crackly paper.

Pepper up on my back. He thought he was so funny when he did that.

The HuzBob does not like cats. Nope, not even a little. Can't stand them.

#Pepper the Cat #I miss him #my cat Pepper #I miss my cat #In memory of Pepper

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bunnymcbunnister · 5 years ago

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SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 11/11

Hello! I finally had some time to clean this up a bit. I am going to make a separate post about old episodes if anyone wants to reference the past. I also pulled out some general spoilers that have already happened to keep this shorter. It’s getting to be a monster with length.

As for updates, we got some nuggets from Jensen and Misha while promoting their latest projects. No pictures yet for ep 5 because of the holiday. Also no description for 7 yet because there will be a week off for Thanksgiving. Hopefully JaxCon will have some juicy updates like DC did. Under the cut!

DISCLAIMER: This is gathered info from various sources. This is not confirmed information. Stuff in this WILL be wrong. Don’t take this too seriously. This is for fun.

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene. They will film the final scene last. (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future”

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season.

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack.

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night.

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.”

Per Variety: At the outset of the season, the “Supernatural” foursome of Dean, Sam, Castiel and Jack are split up, but Dabb notes they won’t be for long because “ultimately this is a found family, and they have deep emotional bonds” that make up the most important part of the show.

Sam’s wound from the equalizer gives his powers/an advantage of some kind (per TVGuide)

Jack will be a critical part of the ending of the show

The cage/Adam is looking like it will be coming up for midseason

Shaving People, Punting Things: https://youtu.be/azTwku2uosA

The shaving promo, punting things promo shows glimpses or Lucifer!Sam and MOC!Dean, as well as bearded Dean in tactical equipment. Recent interviews by Dabb seem to indicate that these are glimpses into other universes, a la Apocalypse World, and other endings from Sam and Dean.

According to the MarySue and other interviews, Sam’s bullet hole will give him a connection and insight to god- like a tin can telephone string.

In the cage, Micheal and Adam have formed a working relationship (MarySue)

Dean and Amara’s connection will be explored

There will be a bunker themed episode (MarySue)

According to Misha (Cinablend) Dean and Cas will have discord up to ep 8- which is the mid-season finale.

At a convention, Jake Abel was asked to share two lies about Adam’s return and a truth. The said 1. Adam is not upset about hell 2. Adam kills someone 3. Adam bring someone back. I am assuming its the bring someone back (Micheal?)

In one of his cookbook interviews, Misha used the word “we” several times when talking about the final scene of Supernatural. He said that would be the last scene they shoot. It seemed to imply that he was in the scene, but that could be open to interpretation.

The finale will air on Monday May 18th. The show will move to Mondays when it comes back on March 16th. It’s gotta come back either than that and go on a mini break or something, because that is not enough Mondays.

Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: RICHARD SPEIGHT, JR. DIRECTS – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean’s (Jensen Ackles) routine case turns out to be anything but. Richard Speight, Jr. directed the episode written by Steve Yockey (#1505). Original Airdate 11/14/2019.

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates: 9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/14

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-spoilers-photos-proverbs-17-3/198575/

Promo:https://youtu.be/4Jo1--7WqHA

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No Jack? doubtful

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info::

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing.

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene.

The bible verse referenced is: “The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: But the LORD trieth the hearts.”

The preview indicates werewolves.

Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: OUT OF DIFFICULTIES GROW MIRACLES – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) are visited by an old friend. Castiel (Misha Collins) investigates the disappearance of a local teen. John Showalter directed the episode written by Meredith Glynn (#1506). Original Airdate 11/21/2019.

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates: 9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/21

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas.

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

At least Jensen and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment

This will be a witch episode- Witches will invade Rowena’s apartment looking for books. They are very powerful. Dean gets thrown into a wall and Sam uses magic to stop them (from TVGuide)

Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates: 9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Yes Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info :

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume, so are the shoes a one off? Another outfit with new shoes?).

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised? Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy.

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home. Misha only did about 2 days of filming.

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to.

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention.

Per TVGuide, Leo and Dean will have a wild night out in an effort for Dean to recapture his mojo. Dean will become the lead of a band called Dean and the Impalas, which is made up of Supernatural crew.

Osric Chau popped over to set, but he is filming on Legends of Tomorrow in the same studio. Sebastin Roche also indicated he would come by, he is filming on Batgirl. Unfortunately, neither Kevin or Balthazar will appear in this one.

Episode 15x08

Title: Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Speight

Filming Dates: 10/8- 10/18 (no filming 10/14 for Canadian Thanksgiving)

Airdate: 12/12 (?)

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? yes Jack ?

Guest stars: Jake Abel, Shoshannah Stern

Other Spoilers/info:

Jake Abel posted a script with the caption “hell hath no fury like a brother scorned”

Shoshannah Stern was spotted on set- Eileen!

This will be the midseason finale

At BurCon, Misha mentioned Dean is still acting like “a dick” in the ep they were filming- which is this one.

Episode 15x09

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Berens

Director: Singer

Filming Dates: 10/21-10/30

Airdate: March 16th?

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? I can’t tell but maybe not Jack ? maybe

Guest stars: Rob Benedict, Kim Rhodes, Jim Beaver

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Midseason premier episode

Misha was at home for the first week of filming, and I think the second. I don’t think he is in this.

Alex and Rob were hanging out- Chuck and JACK?

Kim Rhodes posted in front of the SPN set and with her trailer- Jody looks very likely. She also had dyed hair and she has been rockin the grey for the past few Jody eps. Maybe a flashback/AU?

Jim Beaver posted from set- Bobby!

Jensen shared that in this episode, Dean will pray to Cas to “confess” why he has been treating Cas the way he has. Misha confirmed this in another interview and said tears would be shed- not sure who is doing the crying (besides me)

Episode 15x10

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showalter

Filming Dates:

Airdate: 10/31- 11/12 (No filming for Veterans/Armistice Day?)

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha texted some local fans from set in costume about an WA election, but after the convention was promoting his cookbook all over the place. I think he filmed 2 days, max.

The story will be about Sam and Dean as heroes from the good and bad side (from MarySue)

At DCCon, Jensen shared that this a bit of a wacky episode- Sam and Dean lose their abilities to fight, Dean gets cavities and Sam gets a cold. Jensen later seemed to refer to this ep when talking to TVGuide- mentioning the Impala will get a flat.

Episode 15x11

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Davy Perez AND Meredith Glynn

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates: 11/13-11/22 (?)

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

#supernatural #spn spoilers #spn season 15 #spoiler sheet #castiel #dean winchester #Sam Winchester

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bee-kathony · 6 years ago

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FOUR YEARS - YEAR TWO | “August 18th, 2015″

August 18th, 2015

I thought that the honeymoon phase would last longer than it did.

Jamie and I had only been married a little more than two months, it’d been a year since I was tumor free and I was looking forward to going back to work twice a week next month.

If only we hadn’t gone out to lunch to celebrate my tumor free brain. If only… if only…

++++++

“What do you want to eat, Sassenach? Yer choice,” Jamie smiled as we walked out to the car. It was a beautiful day, and the first time this month that Jamie had spare time away from work to celebrate my diagnosis of being tumor free.

“Hmmm, how about that little place on Home Street? With the really good pancakes!” Licking my lips in anticipation, I got in the passenger seat.

“The cafe that ye stuffed yer face at?” Jamie laughed, starting the car and headed in the direction of Cafe Class.

“I did not stuff my face!” I gasped, eyes wide. “The blueberry syrup was delicious yes, but I did not stuff my face, I ate them in a graceful way.” Jamie laughed, his eyes crinkling like they always did when he was really happy.

“I’m so happy, Sassenach… to be here wi’ ye,” he said a moment later, his left hand sliding over my knee. I brushed my finger over his ring, feeling the cool metal against my skin, blushing when I remembered our recent nuptials.

“I’m very happy too, Jamie.” I placed a kiss on the back of his hand and his lips curved softly. I would never tire of seeing him smile.

We got to the cafe and thankfully it wasn't busy, so we took the table nearest the window, looking out at the street. People watching was one of my favorite things to do — imagining their lives, the little details that make up a person. I was doing just this while I waited for our pancakes to arrive — Jamie had stepped outside to take a work phone call, mouthing “sorry” as he walked out the door.

I was looking at a woman coming down the street, noticing how cute her jacket and shoes were, wondering where she got them from, when she stopped suddenly in front of Jamie. She pulled her sunglasses off, resting them on top of her head, short curly hair much like mine. My heart squeezed as Jamie saw her, muttered something into his phone, hung up and gave her a hug. A familiar, yet tense hug.

My eyes were focused on them, unable to tear away my gaze until Jamie turned towards the window, pointing at me and I blushed, trying to make it look like I hadn’t just been gawking. Then my palms started to sweat as they both came through the door of the cafe — Jamie, kind as ever, holding the door open for her.

I stayed seated, legs crossed, my left hand with my wedding ring resting on the top of the table. Jamie looked at me, his eyes wide and his ears pink. Christ… who was this woman to him?

I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“Hi, I’m Gia.” She stuck her small hand out and I shook it. My eyes shifted from her face to Jamie’s and I saw him shrug, as if his shirt were too tight. “You’re Claire, right?”

“Yes,” I found my voice. “Jamie’s wife.” I thought I saw her flinch slightly at the word ‘wife’ but I could have been making things up.

“Aye, Claire and I just got married in June!” Jamie chimed in. About time lad.

Gia smiled, resting her hand on the back of Jamie’s arm, “Oh that’s great! Congratulations you two.” I wanted to yank her hand off of my husband’s arm, but I also didn’t want to cause a scene. The next words out of her mouth caught me so off guard, I knew if I had been standing, I would have fainted.

“Hope your wedding went a lot better than ours did!” Gia laughed awkwardly, looking up at Jamie, but his eyes were fixed on me… gauging my reaction.

I sat still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower's stem.

“It went just fine, thank you,” I replied shortly, crossed my arms over my chest, and bit the inside of my cheek to stop the tears that would inevitably come. Jamie was married before? To this woman?

A million thoughts raced through my head, and I was too busy staring at my fingers in my lap to notice that Gia had left and Jamie was now standing in front of me.

“Sassenach… we need to talk.”

“Fuck you,” I said quietly for the sake of the people around us and stood up, brushing past him and nearly ran out the door, in a hurry to escape the nightmare that had become my life.

++++++

Jamie found me sometime later, sitting on the same park bench that we had shared our first kiss at. Why had I bloody come here of all places?

Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks when I saw the tips of his shoes approach. He stood there, waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t have any words for him — no words at least, that would do any good.

“Claire,” he took a step forward, his hand reaching under my chin, but I pushed it away, my stomach in knots at the feeling of his skin on mine. Only two months ago, we had promised to love one another, to not keep secrets, and to not tell lies.

This was a secret I didn’t understand and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to get over.

“Claire, please,” his voice wavered and I finally looked up to see his eyes red, full of tears of his own. “Talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?” I felt weak, as if every emotion I had ever felt in my life had been sucked out of me — a hollow shell.

“Somethin’, anythin’… please tell me what’s goin’ on in that wee head of yers.” Jamie bent his legs, and fell forward onto his knees to the grass, his hand hovering to touch my knee, but he pulled back when he saw my expression.

“You were m-married?” I stuttered on the last word. “For how long?”

Jamie took a deep breath and laughed. Laughed! If we weren’t in a public place, I would have hit him against his chest, clawed at his skin, anything to make him hurt as he had hurt me by keeping this from me.

“No, Sassenach. I wasna married to Gia, but we were engaged,” he sighed and rose to his feet, his fingers tapping against his thigh. I focused on his ring finger, trying to remember the vows he had made me, trying to remember the shit we had been through… anything that would help me to keep loving him. In this moment I very much wanted to hate him.

“Then why did she say wedding as if it happened?”

“Because…” he took a deep breath and muttered something in gaelic. “Because I left her at the altar.”

I finally looked up at him, “What? Jamie… how could you do that to her? Why?”

Taking it as a good sign that I had made eye contact with him, Jamie came and took a seat next to me on the bench, still a good safe distance away however.

“I ken it sounds bad, and I’m no proud of what I did. I’ll never forgive myself for it, but damn it, Sassenach… I dinna regret it!” Jamie grabbed my hand, shaking it slightly in his. “If I had never left the church that day, then I wouldna have met you.”

I pulled back my hand firmly, squeezing it in my lap. “All this time though Jamie. Not just you… but your family, Jenny and Murtagh. Wait,” I paused, trying to do the math in my head. “When was this? Before or after the plane crash?”

“After.”

“Jamie… how long ago,” I didn’t want to know but I knew I needed to.

“I knew Gia from university, that’s where we met,” Jamie said and leaned back against the bench as he began to tell me everything. “After the plane crash, I wasna myself. Once I recovered from most of the damage, I went back to school, but ye ken that I wasna speakin’ to Jenny and barely Murtagh.”

I nodded, keeping my gaze transfixed on a butterfly on a flower nearby and Jamie continued.

“Gia…” he sighed, and I could see him running his hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up in places. “She is the complete opposite of ye, Claire. I knew from our first date that she wasna my type and that I was only seein’ her to try and get away from the pain. After my Da —“ his words got stuck in his throat, and silently, without looking at him, I slid my hand across the bench, offering this small gesture and he took it, squeezing lightly.

“Ye wouldn’t have liked who I was back then, Sassenach. I was bitter, and no a verra nice person. I ken I never shoulda proposed to her, but she kept talkin’ about weddin’s and well I didn’t see why not.”

I wanted to cry at the soft touch of Jamie’s fingers on the palm of my hand. The same touch I had felt hundreds of times before. The same strong hands that had helped me when I felt weak and couldn’t get out of bed.

“So you got all the way to the altar and then decided that was the best time to break it off?” I spat out, maybe a bit too harshly and I felt Jamie’s fingers pause on mine before continuing to trace patterns on my skin.

“Aye. I did. I was a coward, Claire.” Jamie slid towards me on the bench, bringing my hand into his lap. I was too numb to move, to do anything but sit there and listen. “I met Gia five months after the plane crash, I was only nineteen and by my twentieth birthday, we had plans to be marrit. She hasna even met Jenny or Murtagh, mo ghraidh, that’s why they never said anything.”

“So they don’t know about her either, Jamie?” I looked at him, more tears welling in my eyes. Who was this man that I had married…

His eyes were wide, sensing my doubt in him. “Christ, of course they know! I told them the day after I left Gia. I wasna willin’ to make amends wi’ them yet, but I needed them to know.”

“Did Jenny yell at you?” I attempted a laugh, imagining what the fearsome Jenny Murray would think about all of this.

“No. She only said she was sorry she couldna be there for me. The conversation wasna a long one, Claire.” He pulled my hand to rest over his heart and I looked at him, biting my bottom lip. “I’m so sorry.”

“After everything we’ve been through Jamie… I just don’t understand why you never told me.” A single tear slid down my cheek and I felt it drop onto my lap, wetting my jeans.

“There’s no good reason why I didna, Sassenach,” Jamie bent his head. “I am a coward, that’s all there is to it.”

“I went through having a bloody fucking brain tumor and you don’t think the fact that you had almost been married to another woman was important to tell me? Yes, Jamie… you’re a coward.” I pulled my hand away and stood from the bench.

“And to think,” I looked him in the eye. “We were so excited about getting on the adoption list,” I scoffed. “I wouldn’t dream of bringing a child into this… this web of lies!” Turning to leave, I prayed that Jamie wouldn’t follow me, but a larger part of me, the weaker part of me, wanted him to run after me and hold me in his arms, begging me to forgive him.

I made it all the way back to the car in front of the cafe, and with no sign of Jamie, I climbed in and headed home, my heart in pieces.

++++++

August 18th, 2015

5:08pm

I walked around for hours after Claire had left me at the park. The moment she called me a coward, her eyes no longer holding that spark I had come to love, I knew… she would never forgive me for this.

Or at least not easily.

Checking my phone every ten minutes, with no new messages from Claire, I steadied myself and started walking in the direction of our house. There was more she needed to know, and I hoped she would hear me out.

The water was on in the bathroom, most likely Claire runnin’ herself a bath. I didn’t want her to be shocked at my arrival home, so I slammed the door a little louder than normal and waited in the doorway until I heard the sound of the faucet creak and stop.

I walked down the hallway, past pictures of our life together. We’d only known each other for twenty months, but already those twenty months were the best of my life — no matter the hardships we had endured early on. Claire wasn’t in the bedroom, but I saw the bathroom door cracked open, steam drifting out.

“Sassenach, are ye in there?”

“Go away, Jamie. I can’t do this right now.” She didn’t sound like herself, not like my Sorcha.

“Please, ye dinna even need to come out of the bathroom, Claire. I just need to say somethin’ and then I’ll go and stay wi’ Jenny and Ian tonight.” I waited for her and let out a sigh of relief when she opened the bathroom door, padded across the room and took a seat on the bed.

“Go ahead, then.”

“I thought of tellin’ ye, Claire.” I walked over to her, sitting on my knees in front of her, ready to beg for her forgiveness. “I did. I almost told ye once, but then ye got diagnosed wi’ yer tumor and things happened so quickly after that.”

“You’re using my tumor as an excuse for your cowardice?” She rolled her eyes, biting her lip.

“No! Christ, no I’m not. It’s just that I didna want to cause ye more pain. Claire… be honest wi’ me, would ye have wanted me to tell ye about this when ye were ill?”

She took a deep breath, folding her robe tighter around her body. “No. But, I got better a year ago, Jamie. What about then?”

“I can’t give you a reasonable explanation other than as time went on, and the happier you became, I couldn’t dream of crushin’ ye, of hurtin’ ye,” my heart was racing, pounding out of my chest. I didn’t know what I would do if Claire couldn’t forgive me.

“I can try and understand that,” she looked down at me, her eyes and cheeks wet and it broke my heart to see her so. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms and promise to never hide anything from her ever again.

“Thank ye, Sassenach I —“

“I said try, Jamie. I didn’t say that I do or that I ever will.”

“Please, mo nighean, I’m a foolish man and I ken I’ve kept a secret from ye when we promised there would be no such thing between us.” I moved forward, gently resting my hand on her ankle. “But I didna marry her… I married you.”

Claire made a sound then that broke my heart completely. A sob like none I had ever heard from her, not even when she was in the most pain from her chemo. I looked up at her to see her shoulders shaking, tears freely flowing down her cheeks. I didn’t care if she tried to push me away, I rose to my feet and gathered her in my arms, sitting down on the bed and cradled her to my chest.

“Shhh,” I said through tears of my own. “I love you, mo cridhe, it’s you I chose and it’s ye who I’ll choose everyday.”

She buried her head into my neck, body still trembling.

“Claire, we’ve been through so much to let this come between us, I’m beggin’ ye lass,” I cried, my voice shaking. “Please forgive me for a mistake I made when I was an idiot. Christ —“

Her hand came to cup my face, and I weeped at the feel of her touch. “I dinna deserve ye, Claire.”

“No,” she whispered. “You don’t.” Her arms came around my neck then and I rose from the edge of the bed and laid her down, and then curled my body around hers. “Just hold me, Jamie. We’ll work this out tomorrow, but for now… just don’t let me go.”

That night, I cried until I had no more tears left to give and held her in my arms, thanking God that she hadn’t cursed my name and sent me out to the streets. Hours later, a small wet nose tickled the back of my neck and Annie, the furry wee beast crawled over my body to lay next to Claire, resting her head against her. Animals are loyal creatures… humans — they are flawed, and broken creatures.

#four years #august 18 2015 #jamie x claire #outlander fanfiction #mclairefras #jamie fraser #claire fraser

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kiss-my-freckle · 6 years ago

Text

Timeline notes

1x1 -

Ressler: Raymond “Red” Reddington attended the Naval Academy. Top of his class. Graduated by the time he was 24. He was being groomed for admiral. Then in 1990, Reddington’s coming home to see his wife and his daughter for Christmas. He never arrives. This highly respected officer up and disappears from the face of the earth until four years later when classified NOFORN documents start showing up in Maghreb, Islamabad, Beijing. These leaks were traced to Reddington. This guy’s an equal opportunity offender, a facilitator of sorts, who’s built an enterprise brokering deals for fellow criminals. He has no country. He has no political agenda. Reddington’s only allegiance is to the highest bidder. Tech: They call him something in the papers. Cooper: “The Concierge of Crime.”

2x1 -

Aram: So he’s looking for someone who lived in D.C. before 1990, has a prescription for Lipitor through Medco, downloads World War II documentaries on Netflix not Amazon and has a digital subscription to both the Wall Street Journal and CatFanatic.

Naomi: I had a life, you know? My daughter had a life with a house and a dog. And then I woke up one day. You can’t imagine what it’s like to have a man like Raymond Reddington turn your life upside down. They accused me of being a part of it? Somehow, I was a suspect. Put my life under a - a microscope every call, every charge. My assets were - I finally convinced them I was innocent. They said I had to go, give up everything. I remember it was a Wednesday afternoon. My daughter wasn’t even out of school yet. And by Thursday, we were in Philadelphia, fending for ourselves.

2x2 -

Liz: I confirmed your daughter was placed in protective custody with her mother in 1990. The Marshal service lost contact seven years ago. She is unaccounted for.

2x8 -

Berlin/Kirchhoff: It was in ’91. The Soviet union was falling apart. A small group of us. Members of the Politburo, the military, KGB, Stasi. Had a plan to push back the progressives, to stem the tide. We were meeting and discussing strategy when a bomb. Red: The Kursk Bombing. Berlin/Kirchhoff: Fifteen died. And with them, our resistance. Rumors began that the Americans were involved. One name emerged. Yours. You came after my daughter. You exposed her as a dissident. She went to jail. After that, my loyalty was questioned. I was exiled to the Gulag, where, one by one, her bones were sent to me.

Liz: You’re working with Berlin? Red: I need to talk to you about a bombing in the Soviet union Kursk, 1991.

2x10 -

Several TV news people: We are just now getting word of a story developing out of Hong Kong. Sources say authorities there have apprehended legendary criminal Raymond Reddington. He’s been on the FBI’s Most Wanted list longer than any other fugitive, but tonight, sources are confirming Reddington was arrested in Hong Kong just hours ago. Reddington was once a rising star at the Pentagon. Sources say he was being groomed for admiral when, on Christmas Eve, 1990, while on his way home to visit his wife and daughter, Reddington vanished. Reporter: Four years later, Reddington resurfaced and was charged with treason in absentia for selling top-secret American intelligence to foreign states.

3x4 -

Red: I was completely swept up in the idealism of the theatre owner - a pipe-smoking cream puff of a German named Gerta. She read “Mother Courage” to me aloud - the whole play in one sitting. A brilliant exploration of the politics of war and those who profit from it. Sadly, it was 1991, and audiences were going in droves to see “Cats.”

3x11 -

Liz. Who is this guy? He claims he’s Reddington? Samar: Yes, and we can’t disprove it with DNA because there’s nothing on file from 1990 when Reddington disappeared.

Devry: March 8, 1985, I ran point on an attack on the Beirut home of Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah. June 1989, I coordinated Operation Minesweep, which provided back office support and oversight for Naval Intelligence operations in Kuwait carried out by the 160th SOAR.

3x16 -

Red: Velov is the one who lied to you, Lizzy, not me. Katarina Rostova committed suicide in 1990.

4x13 -

Red: I first met Stratos Sarantos when he was running guns to Cypriot resistance fighters in 1987. For more than 20 years, he’s overseen my shipping concerns from the Bosphorus to the Suez Canal.

4x16 -

Cooper: Kathryn Nemec is missing? Aram: Yeah, she disappeared in 1991, just dropped off the grid.

Aram: Kathryn Nemec. But she’s been missing since 1991.

5x19 -

Red: In 1990, the KGB and the CIA had almost nothing in common except the mutual determination to hunt down one individual. Jennifer: You. Red: Being a fugitive from American law enforcement is a lot easier than being a fugitive from the two most powerful nations on Earth. And anyone close to a target of theirs becomes a target themselves. Jennifer: Family. Red: Especially family. Unless they’re abandoned on the side of a road on Christmas Eve. Jennifer: After you left, we went into Witness Protection. Red: Put where the Cabal wouldn’t find you.

6x1 -

Liz: Raymond Reddington is a fraud. An imposter who took our father’s place over 30 years ago. The FBI can trace this Reddington forward from ’95. And I know for a fact that our father died five years before that.

6x5 -

Jennifer: It’s not the data, but it turns out the file names were coded using patient-intake dates. October 3, 1991. Liz: The date Reddington was admitted?

6x9 -

Sima: As the ranking officer on that Reddington Task Force, were you familiar with an incident that occurred involving the U.S.S. Gideon in March of 1990? Ressler: I was. Yes. The U.S.S. Gideon was an Ohio-class submarine sunk by the Soviet Navy while on a secret mission in the Barents Sea. 134 men were on board. They all died.

Red: If you found his archives, I need the tape of a phone call he recorded on December 7, 1990.

Cooper: Reddington told us to look for a very specific needle in this haystack. A recording taken on December 7, 1990.

Cooper: We’ll start over. Samar: Uh, I don’t think we have to. December 7, 1990.

Samar: It can’t be a coincidence that Reddington is looking for a recording made on December 7th, and, on December 11th, an assassin injures Bailey and murders a man who appears to have been his lover. Liz: Maybe he used the tape to try and blackmail someone who didn’t take kindly to being blackmailed.

Nuss: A month before the incident, a corporate account was opened in a Cypriot bank known to work with Soviet intelligence. The only person with the power to withdraw funds was the company president. Sima: And who was that? Nuss: Raymond Reddington. Sima: I’m sure many accounts were opened in the weeks prior to the tragedy of the Gideon. What makes you think the activity in this account was connected to it? Nuss: Because a front company for the KGB wired $3 million into the account a day before the incident, and another $3 million the day after it. One week later, the entire amount was withdrawn. Sima: By Reddington? Nuss: Yes. Using fingerprints and a password.

Red: You said the withdrawal required fingerprints and a password. Nuss: It was done remotely. Red: So if someone had a copy of my fingerprints and knew the password, they could have made the withdrawal, and no one at the bank, nor yourself, would have known the difference? Nuss: I, uh - suppose that’s possible. Red: Yes. You know what else is possible? That I was framed by Katarina Rostova, which I could prove if Your Honor would grant me even the shortest - Judge Wilkins: All right, the court will stand in recess.

20, 25, 30 years

Cooper: Remember, he’s been off the grid for over 20 years. (1x2) Cooper: Reddington has brokered some of the most comprehensive international criminal activity in the past 20 years. (1x2) Red: I’ve been moving comfortably through the world for the past 20 years without a trace, and now some two-bit spy killer is gonna put my life and business in jeopardy? (1x3) Fitch: Ray. It’s been, what - 20 years? (1x10) Red: No traffic. No cars to come help. Just me and a car full of gifts. It was more than 20 years ago. (Christmas Eve, 1x14) Tom: Best I can tell, their paths have crossed at key moments in the past 20 years. Quantico, Baltimore. (1x16) Naomi: If you’re looking for him, I can’t help you. You have to listen to me. Reddington - I haven’t I haven’t seen him in 20 years. (2x1) Samar: He’s been on the run for 25 years. His arrest was bound to happen. (2x10) Liz: They put a bullet in your chest, and you have no idea how. You’re the most cautious person I know. The FBI couldn’t find you for 20 years, but they did. (2x21) Aram: Because it was listed in the Fulcrum. 25 years ago, Hanover was a low-level staffer on the Hill. (3x3) Hitchin: I know about the Fulcrum. I’ve seen the list. It’s 25 years old. (3x5) Red: Your past three months have been what my life has been like for the past 25 years. I’m often exhausted. (3x11) Cooper: He disappeared 25 years ago. Could’ve had surgery. (3x11) Dom: I could’ve spent the last 30 years just being her grandfather - you selfish prick. (3x20) Kirk: I’ve been imagining this moment for the last 25 years. (3x23) Red: I know what it’s like to be hunted. I’ve protected myself for 30 years. (4x1) Red: I’ve been disappearing for over 25 years. I don’t need your help to disappear. (4x7) Tom: From 30 years ago. Clearly, it was flawed. (Kirk's DNA test, 4x7) Cooper: But she’s been missing for 25 years. (Kate, 4x16) Liz: He stole it from me 25 years ago. That’s why we needed you to get it back. (Fire memory, 4x19) Red: Understand this was 25 years ago now. I was younger, myself. Intent on building an empire, intent on becoming the powerful criminal the world had been told I already was. (4x19) Red: Nikolaus has been on my payroll since I introduced him to you 25 years ago. (4x19) Liz: From 25 years ago? No. But then, you wouldn’t be very good at your job if I did. (4x19) Red: I’ve spent 30 years building an intelligence network of spies, informants, patriots, traitors. (4x20) Liz: Kaplan spent 30 years tending to his messes while Reddington built his criminal empire, and it took her five months to surgically dismantle it. (4x21) Kate: I’ve been his cleaner, keeper, and confessor for 30 years, and I’m prepared to tell you everything you need to know in open court. (4x21) Dom: My own granddaughter three feet away after almost 30 years, I couldn’t say a damn thing to her. (5x13) Jennifer: Perhaps you’ve heard of him. His name’s Raymond Reddington. He’s been on the FBI’s Most Wanted List for 20 years. (5x18) Garvey: Everything you believed for the last 30 years has been a lie. You’ve spent a lifetime hiding for no reason. (5x19) Sutton Ross: For 30 years, I’ve wanted to be in the same room as Raymond Reddington, the bastard who tricked me into selling the Chinese a dodo bird when they were looking for an eagle. (5x22) Liz: Why he came into my life, why he took your life, why he spent the last 30 years pretending to be Raymond Reddington. I’m gonna figure all that out, and then I’m going to destroy him. (5x22) Liz: Raymond Reddington is a fraud. An imposter who took our father’s place over 30 years ago. (6x1) Liz: We haven’t seen him in over 30 years. He became a fugitive when we were kids. (6x1) Liz: Raymond Reddington. Not the real one, the reinvented one. The one who’s been Raymond Reddington for 30 years, longer than anyone else. (6x2) Aram: 30 years on the run, and a beat cop picks him up at a pretzel cart. (6x2) Sima: You’re aware that, for almost 30 years, he’s maintained a vast criminal empire - (6x3) Red: Getting caught after 30 years? The odds were, I’d be caught after three. (6x4) Red: Officer Baldwin, I’ve been evading the police and law enforcement for almost 30 years. (6x5)

#dialogues

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beautifulramblingbrains · 7 years ago

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The Dog - Chapter 11

Fandom: Vikings Characters: Ivar, Ubbe, Hvitserk, OC (However brief they appear.) UbbexOC Rating: This is Mature content with multiple trigger warnings on a range of subjects.

A/N: Thank you, @murmelinchen, as per! :). And thank you all so much. I had a little iddy biddy break away but I have seen and read all the reblogs and likes. Thanks again.

First Chapter // 2nd Chapter // 3rd Chapter // 4th Chapter // 5th Chapter // 6th Chapter // 7th Chapter // 8th Chapter // 9th Chapter // 10th Chapter

Tags: @pathybo@sparklemichele@singingpeople@captstefanbrandt@equalstrashflavoredtrash@whenimaunicorn@kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995@emmysrandomthoughts@ariwolf14@bcat1291@tomarisela@romanchronicles @colours-of-my-heart @wish-i-was-a-mermaid @lol-haha-joke@thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @tiyetiye @titty-teetee @microsmacrosandneedles @btslee15

For a long while, Avery had peered out across the land, waiting silently, beginning to see the curl of her breath as the temperature dropped rapidly and darkness began to shroud them. She pulled the furs further across her shoulders, not giving in to the thought of defeatism.

Ubbe had told her that he was riding out to Wark to speak with the Earl. He was going to tell him that his battle plans were changing, feeding him lies of their small army marching past both Keeps, not coming into contact with either. They would merely just rest a few more days. Whether it was the truth or not, Avery didn't know or care. But she would wait until Ubbe got back.

"My lady, please, it's cold," she heard Indra say from behind her as she came out to sit with her. She'd said the same thing over an hour ago.

"It's fine. You may go if you want. But I will stay here."

Neither of the women moved. Not until something grabbed Avery's attention, small dots far in the distance growing larger. It would be Ubbe, his brother, Hendrick and a few others. Indra snapped up before Avery, for she had two lovers on the field - whether she wanted to admit that or not.

Tiredly, Avery stood too, still clutching the furs. "Is it them? It's them, isn't it?" Her voice bled desperation and worry, and it was time for Indra to ignore her. The camp had swelled to life, obviously whoever on guard had spotted them and now came thundering back and alerting those left in charge.

As they raced up, Hendrick immediately dropped down into the field, handing over the reigns of his horse, his eyes searching. In another life, he would have raced to Indra. And to Avery's surprise, a sadness seemed to radiate from Indra when she spotted him.

But her own body felt urgent, despairing almost. The crowd fluctuated, trying to get the news, cutting her off from getting to Ubbe so easily. She had a hand up in the air, calling his name with her silly translation, "Ooh bear!" But Avery's voice was nothing compared to the congregating Vikings around her. So with reluctance, she waited, letting him debrief those smothering him.

"From the looks of it, the plan has worked," Indra noted distantly, leaning up on her tiptoes, still watching. Avery's worry had been the threat of anyone approaching the Christian Keep, that they may have found reason to attack rather than talk. "Ubbe was right about those cowards." She took a sharp intake of breath. "Forgive me."

"I'm not offended." She couldn't be, not when Ubbe scoured the crowd and landed on her, his white teeth visible from a distance. He waved the others off, pushing through and leaving Hvitserk with them. And when he got to her, he paused, a bashful sway to her posture before he reached out and pulled her closer. Indra slipped away.

Avery had only just fallen back upon the furs when Ubbe graciously tumbled after her. Due to the impending battle, there was a sense of urgency to his meanderings. Her mouth, her neck, her chest being lavished at any given opportunity. While she was bare, he remained clothed, but jutting his hips into hers, pushing hard into her crotch, so she could feel his need without a doubt. It gave her an idea of what he would be like as a lover. And it was overwhelming.

"Ooh bear," she panted, using both hands on either side of his face to get his attention. And it was all he needed to slow himself, propping himself up to look down at her. He appraised her slowly, drinking her body in before slipping down and taking her nipple into his mouth. She cradled him there, until he went further to her ribs and then to her lower belly.

"Like your silly stories, I'm going to eat you now," he growled.

Avery struggled to get up to her elbows, seeing him squatting between her legs. "What?" She smiled nervously, breath still stolen.

"Watch," he replied, licking his lips.

Ubbe rubbed his thumb once over her clit, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. She snapped her eyes open to watch him kiss his way down her inner thigh. And when he finally reached her core, enveloping her with his mouth, tongue flat against her, she pathetically withered back against the furs, unable to control the sounds that filtered through her lips.

Heat rose in her cheeks, his unrelenting care alternating between fast and then slow, making her hips twitch. But the distance between them was too much. Her hand flailed for him, and he choked back a laugh, reaching up to calm her, interlocking his fingers against hers.

Her legs began to shake uncontrollably, and he moved up until they could rest on his shoulders, which only eased it slightly.

"You taste as beautiful as you look," he mumbled, watching her body writhe and heave with each shaking breath.

"Mm-hmm… Don't stop." He chuckled at her desperation as she begged for him to not to stop over and over. With her eyes shut tightly she tried to reach him with her other hand. And when her fingers curled into his short hair, he greedily complied, not minding her nails digging into his hand as she felt herself being perfectly pushed to a physical limit, then bursting into a million melting pieces.

Ubbe crawled back to her side, very pleased with himself. "I think you just woke the whole camp." But she was still lost, beautifully lost. "Are you okay?"

"I think I saw Heaven," she sighed dreamily.

Ubbe tried very hard not to laugh but couldn't help himself. "If that is Heaven then why don't we go sooner rather than later?"

"Maybe that is pleasure then. Maybe comfort, love… I don't know. I find I don't care either way. Not right now." Rolling onto her side, she felt the need to sleep wash over her.

Sitting up, Ubbe discarded his tunic, unbuckling his pants and slipped them off without falter, then covered them both in the furs.

"This is only the beginning," he sighed, curling up behind her. "Soon I will make full love to you, and every passing moment until you are with child, and every moment thereafter." Ubbe looked at her over her shoulder but she was peacefully asleep already.

"Why won't you speak with me?" demanded Hvitserk. Indra turned away from the entrance to the tent and went further inside. "Have I done wrong? Have I hurt you somehow?"

"Hvitserk, please. I told you before, it was too serious. I didn't want anything serious and then you spoke of marriage," she said incredulously, pacing as much she could in the small space. "You know that you and the word marriage don't go hand in hand."

"What does that mean!"

"Please stop this. Please just leave." Her voice shook and she still couldn't face him. "Leave me alone."

"Is there another?" He put his hands to his hips and looked to the ground, stepping forward when she didn't reply. "Is. There. Another? Because I swear to the Gods, if there is, blood will be shed!"

"There is nobody. I want nobody else!" He stepped toward her and she swung at him, missing and falling into his arms. Memories surrounded them, the short, sweet days they had spent together, loving so much in such a short amount of time.

Between her tears, she turned and kissed him, stumbling across the room.

"Will you be gone long?" Avery's voice was intentionally quiet, so no one else could hear. Ubbe wore his helm, fully armoured, looking much taller than usual as he stood ferociously in front of her. The army waited to divide beyond the trees, splitting to hit both Keeps. Homecamp was moving itself too as soon as they would set off, for safety.

"Will you miss me?" His touch was gentle against her cheek regardless of how he looked. "What did I do to deserve to come across you in this life? How were you chosen to live - for me to see you?"

"I stabbed Hendrick." She smiled. "Life is strange." He stood in silence, studying her face still and her cheeks began to warm. "What...? What are you looking at?"

"I'm drawing you into my mind so that I have it with me. I believe Freya watches me on this day. I see her through your eyes."

Avery became bashful and blinked away. "Stop it."

"Is it not normal to express what I'm thinking? You don't like to hear compliments or how I appreciate you?"

"I'm still getting used to it." She crossed her arms, tightly smiling. She wasn't used to the attention, nor revealing herself to anyone. And he knew her better than anyone now. "Ooh bear, be patient with me. And… and come back."

"Are you ordering me?" His smile beamed.

"That is an order." He stroked her cheek with his thumb, nicked her chin, then turned towards his waiting raiders.

She watched them leave, like a parallel of the previous night. "My lady," Indra whispered behind her. "We will be moving shortly, you must prepare."

"I'm ready."

As the light died, Ubbe marched upon Wark, while Hendrick took the Keep in the North-West. They met with their scouts at the wall, hoisting scaling ladders against the downpour of arrows almost knocking Hvitserk from his climb. When Ubbe turned to check on him, he was laughing wildly, climbing quicker.

Ubbe pulled himself over the lip of the outer wall, upon the stand where the churchmen stood guard, noticing only a small number of soldiers. He pushed the thought from mind, using his axe to maim a man almost upon him.

Quickly he moved to open the gates, a zig-zag stair descent. Hvitserk was with him, having his back until more of the northmen joined them as most waited to be let in. They pulled the lumbering wood from the door, and Ubbe heaved them open, calling for this battle to be fast and favoured by the Gods.

The tents they had strung up were not as big as usual because they were not going to be staying very long. They would move to the Keeps after they were conquered and reside there until the next. Indra stayed with Avery, huddled together for warmth, fearing what was happening to their men.

Their conversation had changed several times, and there was no chance of sleep. It got so bad they fell silent and Avery hugged her knees, listening to Indra hum. After a while, she turned her head, still resting on her arms, just enough to see Indra on her back and looking up to the top of the tent. "I don't think we will sleep at all tonight."

"The battles make me afraid. Whatever outcome comes from them, changes our plans each time…" She furrowed her brows, lost in thought. "And we lose people sometimes."

For some reason, Avery thought of Benedict, the closest person she had had left from her old life. The last time she had seen him, he was half eaten by crows and still strung up. She pressed her hands together and silently prayed.

Indra glanced to her. "I do not doubt them. But the Gods are unpredictable, and so are people."

"I wish I was smarter," Avery blurted, causing Indra to sit up on her elbows. "All these Earls I could have learnt of, all the layouts of the land. Instead I know nothing. Instead I kept away from them as much as possible because I feared for my life... After what happened at Benedict's Keep, I suddenly snapped and was no longer fearful. I had a purpose and it was those children. They were my only vision." She paused with a sigh. "I told them they were in there but they ignored me. Though, now I know ooh bear understood exactly what I was saying."

"The Christians don't care for us. We don't care for them. He didn't know anything about you and for all he knew it was a ploy - a distraction."

"They kill innocent children. I'm still learning how I can live with the knowledge."

Indra bit her cheek. "They don't want to. They have to. There is a difference. And I wish you would stop talking about us like that. You may forget but I am a Viking too."

"Would you kill children?"

"Not by my hand but I would leave them to their fate," Indra said sternly. "Don't judge me, Avery."

"I'm not."

"You know nothing of the land, aside from what happened to your village and Benedict. You walked alone for a while but fell into luck, then luck again with us."

"I shall say no more." Avery scoffed in disbelief, turning onto her side to lay down, away from her.

"Forgive me. Everything is perspective," Indra said as Avery stared at the skin of the tent. "I'm not feeling all too well, I'm sorry." A shadow moved from outside, forcing Avery to quirk up. "It was not my intention to be offensive…" While Indra spouted her long list of apologies, Avery scrambled across to their single candle and blew it out, moving to Indra who'd already clocked on. With both their eyes wide, watching the entrance, Indra pulled a small blade from her ankle.

"Give me that, quick," Avery held her hand out, went to the side and slit the skin enough to see out. She watched as shadowy figures crept across the land - a lot of them. They didn't speak a word, only signals. Avery almost gasped in shock as a man walked directly in front of her hand-made eye hole, his hands covered in blood. She guessed it was from the guards watching over the camp Ubbe had left behind.

She turned to Indra, considerably paled and grimaced. "Churchmen."

It only made Indra fiercer, her features scrunching up viciously as she got in front of Avery and took the knife. "They won't take us." Avery didn't want to know exactly what she meant, and didn't ask. "I will do us both if I need to," she whispered.

Someone must have woke and spotted the invaders. A roar went up and the rush of noise erupted around them. Avery put a hand on Indra's shoulder.

"Where is he!?" Ubbe shouted across the courtyard. Many had stopped, wiping their dirtied faces while Hvitserk stood close, spitting onto the land. Ubbe took off his helm, peered quickly around. "Where is the Earl and where is his men?!" Nobody answered. He strode past Hvitserk, landed a heavy hand on the shoulder of one of his men and whispered, "Go to Hendrick and get word." The man nodded once and raced off for a horse.

"What shall we do?" Hvitserk said.

Ubbe was frowning. "Something's wrong… We've missed something. They have averted us." A surge of anxiety swirled in his gut. "We need to head back. We need to go. We need to go now!"

Thick gloved fingers slipped over the edge of the entrance, peeling it back slowly. Indra made a feral sound in her throat, pushing Avery back, guarding in front of her.

The churchman must have suspected they were asleep or the tent empty, only to be caught with the sight of them huddled together, a glint in his eye.

"Get back!" Indra warned him, waving her small blade.

He merely whistled, another face emerging after a few short seconds, and they grunted a laugh between them. He almost knocked the stakes from the ground with his shoulders as he busted his way inside. That's when Indra launched herself at him in such a way, which Avery could only describe as cat like; her feet planted firmly on the ground in a wary crouch, and then jumping towards him effortlessly.

Outside rang the calls of death, and suddenly, the fear of the past cast over Avery, the fire she saw in her mind's eye, the cries, freezing her on the spot. Wherever she went there was death, continuously affecting the ones she loved. When she thought she couldn't breathe from fright no more, Indra was caught in one hand around her throat like it was child's play, and Avery went after her with a new cause.

She grabbed Indra, trying to pull her back. The other soldier barged forward and lifted her completely off the ground, flinged her to the other side of the tent. Indra swung her knife in a flimsy hand, nicking his cheek and finally freed herself. However, between the man's arms she could only watch as the churchmen pinned Indra by her hair in sheer spite and rained down blow after savage blow onto the small woman.

Unable to bear Indra's screams anymore, she thought quickly and yelled, "I'm from Benedict's Keep! Stop! What are you doing!" She felt the heat and pain, tasted the blood before realising she'd been slapped and bit her cheek in the process.

A fierce yell from outside remenated until Asger burst into the tent and tackled the churchmen who held Avery, sending them to the floor. Dazed, Avery stumbled up, crawling towards Indra, seeing the knife on the ground. She wasn't going to hide anymore. She couldn't.

She wasn't anything like a trained man, nor someone who had attacked in such a way before, but she jumped onto the churchman's back before he could straighten. Indra lifted her head and stuck a leg out regardless of the pain radiating throughout her face, and he tripped, both women using their weight on his arms as he thrashed helplessly on his back. Avery held up the knife, but Indra took it from her, panting, and slit his throat while screeching in triumph. When she fell back, Avery went and scooped her up, looking to Asger still struggling. He shouted something thickly towards them, and Indra tugged her in urgency. "He says 'run'."

Both of her eyes were almost swollen shut and Avery didn't even know if she was focussed on her as her eyes rolled. She was bleeding from multiple places, staining the cloth they wore. And for a moment Avery disassociated, turning her hands over to look at the blood on them.

"Avery!"

"Yes, I heard… Let's get you up. Come on…" She began pulling Indra, got an arm over her shoulder, stumbling out of the tent while Indra held her ribs and whimpered with every step.

It was like walking out into Hell itself. Man against man, a horse running straight through the middle of the temporary camp, carts on fire. She saw it for what it was. That they were no different. There was no such thing as negotiating, surrender, or peace. Both sides, with a plan or idea in mind were demons on either side of the ocean. It was a reverse image of her village, though this time she sat on the side of the Vikings.

"We have to hide…" Indra wheezed.

"Yes, but where?" Avery frantically looked around, the treeline wasn't far but wandering out towards it could make them a target. There was nothing else to try. A howl came from the tent behind them, something smashing as Asger battled inside, and Avery took off towards the trees.

Every step was effort with Indra hanging off her, their pace too slow for the urgency inside her chest. She almost dropped her multiple times. "Come on, Indra! We are almost there!" Their skirts caught their legs and tripped them up, crashing into the dirt. "Indra!"

"Just go, Avery!"

"I'm not leaving you." With new strength, Avery managed to get them to their feet, turning towards the woods.

Hitting the treeline safely was beyond relief.

How long they had walked - or more stumbled through the woods, she didn't know. They could have even gone in circles, and Indra was near collapse. All that she knew was that it was dawn, morning burning through the tops of the trees. It could have been even later than she thought as the darkness was obscured through the overhang above their heads, the forest cloaking them from time.

It was also quiet. Too quiet.

Indra gave out suddenly and tumbled to the ground, eyes closed, and Avery joined her. They laid in silence, just breathing, looking up to the trees, covered in dirt and blood while sharp stones and branches stuck into their backs.

Avery found she was trembling when she sat up. "Indra, we have to find somewhere to rest…" With no reply, she checked Indra, to find she had passed out, exhausted, and probably in a lot of pain. It was cold too, making her hands feel raw and feet numb. "Indra, wake up." Avery shook her, only for her to groan in response. "Indra, please! Please! Don't leave me…" she trailed off, looking out to a wooded wilderness where everything looked the same. A weird call from an animal pricked her ears, the howl of the wind filling her with horror. "Indra!" She shook her more violently, to receive nothing this time.

In fright she scrambled away from Indra on her hands and knees. A realisation - a probing, dreaded thought washed over that perhaps Indra was dying and she could do nothing about it. Perhaps she would get lost and end up dying from the cold or fright herself. Touching her face, she only just now became aware of the sting on her cheek. It burned and felt wet, but she was unable to see what real damage the churchmen had done.

Her thoughts went to Asger and she wondered whether he had gotten away. But did any of it matter if the both of them now died in this wood? At least Indra knew some hunting skills whereas she did not. If she started a fire, would someone she didn't want see the smoke? Could she even start a fire? She needed the right tools, something to spark, rocks, twirling dry sticks against each other. But in the morning dew how would that be possible?

Her mind raced with every thought possible. Figuring that they were going to die anyway.

So, this time she wouldn't run. She wouldn't leave Indra. She'd learnt from her mistakes.

Avery crawled back over to Indra until she could snuggle up to her and push her chest to her back, hugging her as close as possible.

Through bad dreams and terrors, Avery had dreamt of some strange things. At one point she'd floated up through the trees, lightweight like a breeze and could see the two of them huddled together, cocooned, like potential butterflies.

Avery began to giggle. The only sound in the vast darkness that surrounded them. She wondered if she'd be a blood red butterfly between the cream coloured rags of her dress. If she'd have torn or long floaty wings. Lifting a hand up to the sky, she opened and clasped it, pretending she was flying up and away.

"My wings are broken…" she heard herself say.

She laughed harder, snorting and coughing at the morbid thought. "I'd be a butterfly with broken wings! Indra, what type would you be?" Of course, Indra didn't reply and hadn't for a while. "I'll choose for you. I think yellow… with green flecks, possibly owl like eyes on each wing. You could fly me around because mine are broken…" She dwelled on that thought a long moment. "I know you would. We could fly together-"

"Avery…" a voice drifted into her thoughts.

"But you would be a bigger butterfly…" she trailed off, unable to connect the voice to a person.

"Are you hurt?" She felt warm hands against her ice cold skin and only now did she notice that her eyes hadn't even been open. "Avery?"

Ubbe had heard her laugh while scouring the forest, an off-chance as he'd already walked through most of this side of the wood. And now that he had finally found her, he worried for her sanity, she didn't make any sense at all. She blinked her eyes open but didn't even see him, and was floppy when he pulled her from Indra. The two women had been out for over a day.

He grabbed her face to steady her. "Avery, look at me!" His voice was tight, laced with panic. He hadn't rested since the battle, since he returned to the camp, since Hendrick had come back with news of lies the Earl had spread. He owned and ruled both Keeps single handedly, and set up a ploy to split and weaken the northmen. But he had underestimated their strength in such small numbers.

Where the Earl was, was unknown for now. He'd misjudged the courage of those left at homecamp. It was a desperate move made by a desperate man in utter fear.

Ubbe looked up when Hendrick rushed over and clattered to the ground. "Indra... Indra, open your eyes, my sweet girl." He put his ear to her chest, relief washing over his features as he glanced at Ubbe. "She is alive!" And in one strong scoop, picked Indra up from the floor, the woman looking small and feeble against him.

Sighing, he slowly looked down to Avery. This time her eyes were wide with recognition, staring back so deeply, so calmly up at him.

"You would be a blue butterfly."

"What… Wha..." He smiled as he shook his head, cradling her against him. "You want to go home?"

She clung to him rawly. "What?! No! You can't send me back… There is no where… My home is here-"

"With me."

Avery calmed at once. "With you."

The colour was lost on her face. Shrouded with a hood, Avery kept her head turned to the wind, letting it sting her cheeks, the large bruise having formed over one and a slightly puffy eye while the cart she sat on bumped and groaned over the landscape. Every now and then Asger would catch her eye from next to her and smile as he drove the cart.

They were moving to the Keep, continuing on their journey. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Indra among two others resting behind them. Indra said it hurt when she held her head up; her face and head was severely bruised, including a split lip and a black eye. The other women had used elixirs Avery didn't know of to aid her, helping minutely, looking shiny on the skin. They'd smeared her cheek with the same oily substance too, but she didn't specifically find any relief, and Indra faired worse than her, so she could only imagine the pain.

Trailing behind them was Hendrick, keeping his eyes solely on Indra. And behind him rode Hvitserk, drinking from a skin.

Ubbe trotted back down the line on his horse, and Avery moved the material of the hood to cover her face. "How are you feeling?"

Avery was aching from every muscle, with barely the energy to keep her spine straight. "I'm fine."

"You don't have to lie."

"Sore," she settled for. "I've had worse though."

He didn't speak for a long moment. "I don't doubt it." Then he breathed in and out like he was about to say something but didn't know how to word it. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

"I'm getting used to fearing for my life that now it isn't even fear…" she spoke quietly. "It will never end so why fear it?"

"This was the last thing I wanted to happen. I didn't know-"

"It's not your fault, ooh bear," Avery interrupted him. "It was a good plan. It ended well regardless of what we were confronted with-"

"We?" he questioned, his turn to interrupt her.

Avery kept the material drawn over her face as she looked to him. He seemed more handsome than before; strong, alert, even through the expression of concern. "I don't see my home as a land anymore, but as the people around me. Wherever I've been it's always been the people. The land is immortal but the people are not. It will thrive far beyond us. It should be the people around that we love that we should hold close. Without them, what is there?"

"Darkness," he said, frowning. "A lot of darkness." He rubbed a thumb over his lower lip and exhaled. "Avery, I must tell you of what happened in my past so you can put your own judgment on me. So that you know what you are getting into." She shook her head to refuse. "Avery, it wasn't an option." His voice changed; deeper, one of authority.

"I want you to know that I knew my last wife would be killed and I did nothing to stop it," he blurted. "I didn't want to stop it because she went behind my back, many a time. I also fancied another that I shouldn't who brought me much trouble."

Avery was speechless, trying to process the new information.

"I haven't found an easy way to tell you, so this is me trying…" he said with an air of aggravation.

"It's fine. Then please tell me what I need to know," she said calmly. "Because you don't seem to be that man anymore. So tell me... Tell me what I need to know."

The earnesty in her voice stumped him a little, so he managed to find a place to start. "My brother Ivar punished me for not taking his side. Every night I dreamt of carving my name into conquering lands, that my own ambitions or wants did not control me, to find a seat back at my brothers table as family. It only took me the days to ride with you alone to know that I am not that type of man either. I was not the old me, nor the new one they'd created or viewed me as. And I don't want to be either of them. It does not make me happy. But you..." He then struggled, taking another deep breath.

"...I don't want anything from you."

"No."

"That is all there is to know." She still hid her face, an idea forming, though she tried to fight it. "When I lie with you will you still want me after? When I'm no longer young, when I'm old and tired. Will the longing for battle when you're finished change you? Will you take another - become bored with me?"

"Avery, I am not that kind of man." He rubbed the back of his neck quickly. "Though I can only offer you words, not actions of proof. But that is not me."

"No," she said, almost mimicking him from earlier. "Then there is nothing you need to tell me."

"When did you become so wise?" He tilted his head at her, smiling enticingly in that certain way that she had to look away, because it made her forget about her God, even if only momentarily.

He reached out to her hand in her lap. "And don't ever hide your face from me."

Hesitantly, she let the hood drop, revealing the discolouration, the redness under her eye. When she looked at him, she could see that he was trying to hide his worry behind an encouraging smile.

As if to ensure her that she was safe now, he tugged at her hand. "Do you want to ride with me, stulka?"

The words she wanted to say in reply were too suggestive, too unordinary for her. But one thing she'd realised was that life was unpredictable, and she didn't know how long she'd be granted to stay. So, already full with regrets, the last thing she wanted was adding yet another. "I want to lie with you, ooh bear."

#vikings #the dog #ubbe #ubbe vikings #ubbe fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #chapter 11 #beautifulramblingbrains #hvitserk #slowburn #vikings fanfiction #vikings fanfic #ubbexoc #ubbe x oc #avery

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phagethemage · 7 years ago

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Literally all 102 creepy questions

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yes I think she did.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? I feel like this is a dangerous thing to answer but it all really depends honestly. I mean 7 years difference doesn’t seem bad but someone my age shouldn’t be going for a teenager.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Today. My boss was showing she cared but it aggravated me that I was having a flaw pointed out.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? I do every time I look at someone.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Not to my knowledge.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? “I love you all - Frank (End Credits)” Made me think of my friend.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now? Underwear and a big comfy shirt.

8. How often do you listen to music? Every day. Whenever I’m doing something to keep myself busy.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? Jeans all the time.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018? Not really.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? Usually I’m very social. Sometimes I withdraw when I’m not feeling well mentally.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Yes

13. What about ‘R’? No.

14. Can you drive a stick shift? Not at all lol

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? I would be surprised if they did.

16. Are you going out of town soon? Actually yes. Going to Texas for my Aunt’s 60th birthday.

17. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? I’ve told multiple people I loved them.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you? I would change it to gold.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes and he’s a pup named Jasper.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. It wasn’t long enough.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Honestly never had a guy do it. I’ve had a girl do it and it makes me feel at peace.

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? No I’m not. Single as a pringle.

24. What are you sitting on right now? Comfy spinny computer chair.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Yes my friend Josh and Tiffany.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Once or twice then I let the feeling slide.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Erica.

28. Do you get a lot of colds? Nope.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? It used to be my dad’s. He wore it all throughout my childhood as a comfort shirt around the house.

30. Does anyone hate you? If someone hated me I would genuinely be surprised and happy.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? Lol no

32. Do you like watching scary movies? Absolutely I do.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced? Uh no thanks.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? Already have. I don’t recall any of 7th grade.

35. Did you have a dream last night? No. It was a restless night.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Earlier today.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? I can only hope.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I know one person does. Any others I have no clue. I’m not good at catching onto that.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Not intentionally.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday? Nope. Toooooo long.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Not at all.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? It’s possible but I doubt it.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes.

44. What’s the best part about school? The friends I made along the way.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? I have tons of photos on my facebook.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I randomly would but not often.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Yes I do. Usually to figure out how to do better next time.

48. Were you single over the last summer? Yes.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Not at all.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Sleeping.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? Nah I don’t hate my brother. He’s a good guy.

52. Are you nice to everyone? Actually yes I am.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah that happens a lot.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? I don’t cheat. That’s fucked up to do to someone.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Depends on which feelings I’m trying to hide.

56. Do you think you like someone? I know I like someone.

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? Nope.

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? “I may not date a lot of girls, but I’m gonna have a hell of a lot of pretty girl friends.”

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? Not to my knowledge.

60. Do you hate anyone? No.

61. How’s your heart? Good condition.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? I hate talking about who I used to be.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy? Once I cried over Mayes Hughes dying in FMA.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Nobody.

65. Are your toenails painted pink? No lol

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Probably not.

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? If they do, they’re sadistic and need to not have a boyfriend.

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Yes actually and no one cared.

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? I think it was my boss.

70. How do you look right now? Tired but comfortable.

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? No.

72. Can you commit to one person? Yes I can. That’s easy.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? I can tell my mother and sister almost everything. But completely? No.

74. Have you ever felt replaced? Constantly. Especially when friends I want to talk to can’t talk. But that’s paranoia and such.

75. Did you wake up cranky? Not really.

76. Are you a jealous person? I can be when it comes to things.

77. Are relationships ever worth it? Y E S THEY ARE

78. Anyone you’re giving up on? Kinda,

79. Currently wanting to see anyone? I’m wanting to see a lot of people and give them hugs and tell them the world is gonna be okay.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Aye it’s another work day with cremations!

81. Last person you cried in front of? Tiffany.

82. Is there someone you will never forget? I will never forget why I started on the path to be a good genuine person.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? I think she would garrote anyone who tried to hurt me.

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Sleeping because we would be tired from having a long work day.

85. Are you over your past? I don’t like my past but it’s a part of me.

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Yeah and woo boy does it get weird.

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? No.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? I would hug her and talk to her but I don’t think I would accept it.

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Yes I would because it’s chilly outside.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Nope. My friends all liked my interests.

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? Maybe.

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? I know a few actually. One of them is a great friend.

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? Never kissed a dude before honestly.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? Nope I wasn’t.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? Yeah.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? She’s pretty darn cute.

97. Who do you have texts from? Work people, girl that I like, friends

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? “Well I hope it goes great. You deserve happiness but I’ll always be your friend.”

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yeah and she was a bad kisser.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? Augustine

101. Ever kissed under fireworks? Nope

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Actually yes and it surprised the hell out of me. She was so beautiful and in my opinion out of my league. That was the recent time it happened though.

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wizard-in-olympus · 7 years ago

Note

1 - 102 and if you answer them all i'll do the same.. thats the deal

its a deal then

this is gonna be long

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

it was mydad so, yeah

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

im 18, so obviously i would

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

when i left college, 5 months ago. i’ll be back next semester

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i’ve done it, what’s the big deal?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

i dont think she knows and i dont think she’d even care

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

yeah andit was awful

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

i’ve heard that line right there too many times, you sound like a 15 yearold trying to get nudes. anyways, im wearing blue pjs

8. How often do you listen to music?

on long rides, while studying, while doing chores, while reading, whilewasting my time on social media. so, most of the time i guess

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?

ok its 2017 already but im gonna change it to “...change dramaticallybefore 2018?″. not so much, it has changed a lot in a year already

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

social

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

yes, my guy best friend, we were both drunk, shit happens. it kind ofbrought us together as friends hahaha

13. What about ‘R’?

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

thats the only type of vehicle i drive

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

i’d like to say no but yeah, i do. it depends on what people tho

16. Are you going out of town soon?

probably tomorrow. i go “out of town” a lot

17. When was the last time you cried?

i dont remember. about two months ago i think

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah.huge mistake

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

maybe i’d change my eyes from hazel to a deeper green

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

i thinkso

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

i haven’t finished the essay i was gonna present today, now i’ll have topresent it tomorrow

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

i loveit, yesss

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my couch

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

my bestfriend

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

i do

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

mybrother

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, i get colds once a year, twice a year tops

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

idk, idc

30. Does anyone hate you?

i thinkso. im sorry

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

no, im asocial drinker

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

hate them

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

hell no

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

either 2014 or 2015. big parts of 2016 too... maybe a little bit of thisone but its been the best year i’ve ever lived since 2013.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah, the seniors in my old high school were 10x better than last yearseniors -when i was a senior- and teachers loved them (teachers hated mygeneration) and they all graduated from IB and had their diplomas linned up inthe hall (i didnt graduated from IB or get the diploma and everyone hated me bci was the only student in my generation that failed and so no one could say“gen16 was a 100% IB generation! the first one in this high school!” bc of me)

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

a coupleof weeks ago

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i hopenot

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

a couple of people, tiny andd small feelings but i now they do

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

maybe wondering what happened to me, yeah. but probably no one is

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

yes, areally good one

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

not a serious one but yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

yeah, lots of girls. but im a girl and i like boys so who cares if ihang out with a girl

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yes and lots of times and they did lose me. i just couldn’t handle themany longer, my patience couldn’t take it anymore, it had been YEARS of dealingwith the same shit and enough was enough. but i couldn’t break theirheart so i just told them i had changed and left. that probably makes me anasshole but idc

44. What’s the best part about school?

meeting new people all the time, learning new amazing things and gettingto test them and the late night bar celebrations when we nailed a test

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

of course, why wouldn’t i?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

i used to do that in 7th grade, not anymore

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

yes i wish i could change so many things, so many situations in which idid the wrong thing

48. Were you single over the last summer?

oh yeah and i had never been so happy of being single

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

just a little bit but it has changed A LOT and im grateful for it

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

finishingmy essay...

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

im hating him rn but most of the time i love that guy. stupid guys

52. Are you nice to everyone?

most people. im not nice to one single person but im nice to the rest ofthe human population. fuck that bitch tho

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

i’ve only liked people i didn’t expect to. except one guy probably.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve never cheated, i think i can last a lifetime without cheating.cheating is a horrible thing to do, i don’t wish it on anybody

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

i used to be very good, lately i suck at it but idc anymore, its ok

56. Do you think you like someone?

kind of

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

yes and i would do it again

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

girls are sketchy, boys are chill. i get along better with guys but theyare also clueless idiots so... some guys

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

61. How’s your heart?

confused but healthy and happy like it hasn’t been in years

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

plenty ofthings

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

no and i dont plan on ever doing it

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

the same boring bitches that always have, “”friends”“ and also their stupidparents that care too much about what i do with my life. fuck off

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

i really hope not, not again

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

no, i hate sensitive, dramatic people. if he cries for a good reasonthen ok but i wouldn’t love it, i’d be sad for him too

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my bestfriend from Peru

70. How do you look right now?

ok, butmessy

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

plenty of people (family and friends), im an open book

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes, but it looks like however made this questions cant

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

thought i did, turns out i dont

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes, a couple of times. always by friends tho

75. Did you wake up cranky?

not today, i had an amazing night of sleep

76. Are you a jealous person?

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes yes yes, SO WORTH IT. you just have to find the right person

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not rn

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

more like craving to see him. fuck my life

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

turn in this stupid essay i’ve mentioned twice already

81. Last person you cried in front of?

bestfriend

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yeah

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

a littlebit

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably taking a walk and talking and staring at his beautiful smile

85. Are you over your past?

most of it. the latest “past” is still haunting me but im getting overit slowly

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

not morethan physical attraction

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

three tofour people

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

if i had one i could answer this. i think i kind of did and i wouldn’taccept it

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

what do you want??, what is the matter with you??, what on earth are youdoing here?? FUCK OFF.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

yes

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yeah

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

i live in Costa Rica, im latina. guys here have names like “Jose, JuanPablo, Andres, Gerardo, Alonso”, not “Matthew, James”. so of course i haven’t

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

no and i lived the single life at its finest

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

he’s a fucking model for fuck’s sakes, he’s a GOD. he’s so hot. why am ifriends with him?? itcomplicates everything

97. Who do you have texts from?

my best friends, my guy friends, my family group chat, my girl friendsgroup chats, my crush

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

thats great, and do you think she likes you? hey good luck! *pretends idont have feelings and keeps on being a good friends*

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

the first person i ever kissed was a year older than me

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

ok in my tumblr icon im with my best friend, in my whatsapp, twitter andfacebook profile pictures im alone

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

done! that took me like an hour damn... sorry to the people who’s dashboard i interrupted with this post

1 note · View note

autisticteru · 8 years ago

Text

A Kick in the Teeth is Good for Some - Chapter 10

A Kick in the Teeth is Good for Some - CHAPTER 9

Summary: All Ritsu wants is to move on and be happy with his life. But something keeps growing inside him. From his stomach to his chest to his throat and out his eyes and mouth, until it fully surrounds him making it impossible to ignore. He can cut it down, but it will just grow back. He needs to destroy it, to pull it up from the roots. And he thinks he finally knows how. But there’s only one person who can help with that. Unfortunately, that person is Teruki Hanazawa.

Read on AO3 HERE

Read from the beginning HERE

Individual chapters:

Chapter 10: A Kiss With a Fist is Better Than None~

“You can’t fix me.”

Those four words spoken so softly had a violent effect on Ritsu. Something was different. Something was changing again. And Ritsu was getting so tired of resisting it. He had practically given in. But even after giving into the all encompassing feeling of shame, the pain did not go away.

However, the atmosphere of the room changed. Shou’s look had turned from stern to concerned. Great. Just fucking perfect.

“Ritsu, you aren’t-”

“Just…” Ritsu knew what Shou was going to say, but he couldn’t bear to hear it. “Just leave me alone.”

Shou furrowed his brow, lifted his hand, and before Ritsu knew it, he felt a sudden stinging pain across his left cheek followed by a sharp, “slap!” And for a second, Ritsu was completely stunned again.

“There,” said Shou, “We’re even now.”

“W-What?” Ritsu stammered while lifting his hand upt to the red mark on his cheek.

“It’s fine. I got you back, so we’re even.” As Shou spoke he made no eye contact, and walked past Ritsu toward the front door. He stopped just short of the shoe rack before lifting his hands up and covering the back of his neck, stretching his elbows wide.

“Man,” he continued, “That felt nice.” Shou turned around to face Ritsu once more. He posed casually, but something felt off. Something felt… forced.

Ritsu didn’t like where this was going.

“Ritsu,” said Shou calmly, “We can talk about this later. Whenever you’re ready I’ll be here, okay? But don’t lie to me, and don’t lie to your brother. We’re involved in this whether you like it or not.”

And with that, he left. But not before pausing for a second while holding the doorknob, sighing just loud enough for Ritsu to hear the pain in his breath. He had never hated himself as much as he did in that moment.

“Ritsu-” Mob started after the door closed, but Ritsu was already on his way upstairs to his room. He couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t be here much longer. He had to get out. Get out. Get out get out get out get out GET OUT!

Ritsu shut the door behind him, and immediately grabbed everything useful in his sight. A flashlight. Some blankets. Leftover sweets. His wallet. A change of clothes. And…

His phone…

With everything that happened today, it wasn’t like Ritsu was ignorant of how Shou felt. Still, perhaps out of pure masochism, Ritsu found himself on his bed next to a backpack full of things scrolling down to the first message from Shou.

“Yo, Ritsu! You said we’d talk again, but it’s been almost a week. Are you doing okay? We don’t have to talk about what happened if you don’t want to. We can just forget about it, if that’s what you want! Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie? My mom said she’d pay for tickets, and we can try and sneak in some snacks while we’re there! Let’s plan to do something this weekend, okay?”

---

“Hey, Ritsu. Did you get my last message? Maybe you saw it and forgot to check it… I don’t want to assume. You’re probably really popular at school, huh? Got lots of friends… I get it. That’s just how it is sometimes! But… I just want to make sure. Call me back soon!”

---

“Ritsu, I’ve called you a few other times. You really aren’t picking up, huh… Ritsu, please… did I do something wrong? If I did, you have to tell me!”

---

“Suzuki…”

“Ritsu, if you’re mad at me, then just tell me! You don’t have to keep being friends with me, but at least tell me why! I don’t understand! Why are you doing this? I’m sorry about whatever I did, but this is taking it too far! I just… I don’t understand… I don’t understand…”

---

“Please…”

Ritsu couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he clenched his phone tightly in his hands. With shaking fingers, he turned his phone off and sunk his face into his hands, letting out a couple of sobs.

“Please… please just hate me…”

That was all he could say. That was all he could think. It would just be so much easier if they all just hated him. And as Ritsu thought that, he came to a realization. There was only one other option left. There was only one place left to go.

He knew what he had to do.

Teru should have been happy. He should have been happy. Nothing was wrong. It had been a perfect school year. No, a perfect life. A blessed life. Yes. He was blessed. Born into wealth with a mother and father who loved him very much. Who held him when he cried and comforted him when he was bullied. Who supported him when he awakened his powers and let him stay at an appartment when his father had to move away for work just so he didn’t have to switch schools. Teru was popular in school. Even after the incident with “White T Poison” Teru was still well respected and a frequent target of anonymous love letters from girls. Teru even had friends outside of school. Several. Of course there was Kageyama and his kind forgiving soul, but there were also the entire Awakening Lab, Reigen, and even some of the Scars from the 7th branch who kept in contact with Teru even after the Claw incident.

After defeating Claw and dealing with that Divine Tree nonsense, Teru was, in a sense, free. There was no longer anything to fight against. There was only school, and school was easy. Maybe that’s why things had gone south. Perhaps he had always been more comfortable in chaos and fear.

When did it start exactly? Three, maybe four months ago. Teru wasn’t really keeping track of time. After all when it started, it didn’t appear to be anything significant. Perhaps it was just a bad day. A bad week. A bad month…

No. It started with a lie.

It always started with a lie. The lies he’d tell to his family, his loved ones, and the ones who loved him. And the lies he’d tell to himself. Teru was convinced that he was fine until that day.

Grocery shopping. It was a normal chore on a normal day, after spending another Christmas with his parents, in which he lied to them, and played the part so convincingly that he believed it himself. So the whiplash of switching from one life to another was starting to get to Teru. Oh well. It was normal.

And so are bad memories. Bad memories are normal. Nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has things they’d like to forget. It was only a flash. A familiar image of a girl and the phrase, “I love you.” Teru froze in his tracks and his breath cut short, his neck turning bright red with bags of groceries in both hands

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!!!

Teru forced himself to exhale and he marched forward, swearing at the thought until he could ignore it. And that should have been it. Just a bad memory. One single bad memory. So teru went home and tried to unpack his groceries. An image flashed again in his mind. Faceless, nameless people. Gang members who he hadn’t bothered to remember the names of.

“I am the protagonist of this world.”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!

The swearing seemed to scare it away once again, but Teru was left feeling as though everything below his brow was on fire. He moved away from the spot he was standing in. Just standing still in a single area seemed to heat up the surrounding air. To think he was sweating in an unheated room while winter was still on it’s last legs. Teru finished unloading his groceries and decided to wash away the dirty feeling in the bathtub.

Teru opened the door to his bathroom, and walked through it. As he passed by the sink to turn on the water in the tub, he caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. He was starting to get used to it. The new hairstyle. It actually looked really nice now that it was his real hair. He took off his shirt and glimpsed again at what was reflected through the glass. It was a different body than the one he had months ago. It was stronger. Still scarred from battles. Yeah, this person in the mirror was completely different from the person he was several months ago. But Teru could tell that it was still him. His eyes were still the same blue he’d always known.

He inched closer to the mirror, looking closer into his own eye. In it, he could see another, more shadowy and distorted reflection of himself. It was barely there, and if it weren’t for the bathrom light he probably would not have been able to see it. But it was certainly him.

Teru filled the tub and slowly let himself in. He always liked the bathtub. It seemed that water had the ability to wash away anything. Not to mention having psychic powers added an extra layer of visual stimulation to the mix. Teru lifted his finger and watched the water spiral upward as though he were creating a tube made entirely of water. He brought it all around the bathroom in swirls and loops as though he were tangling the string of water around like a knot. There really was a theraputic quality to water.

Teru spun the string of water around until he formed it into a ball floating straight above his head. It was during these times he’d let the water pour down on his head as though it were a shower, but Teru looked longer into the ball, staring at his distorted reflection. Teru liked the bath because it brought him a sense of nostalgia. But…

Teru’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a ring. That ringtone…

A woman. There was a woman, her face clear as day. Older. Middle aged. Black hair. She was smiling.

“I’m proud of you, Teruki.”

The ball popped with a loud splash, and suddenly the whole bathroom was wet. It was a special ringtone. One he had set specifically for his mother. Teru was frozen in place as it rang. And it rang. It rang and rang and rang and it just wouldn’t seem to stop. And just like that, his mind raced through thought after thought. Memory after memory.

“You’re just like me.” “What’s the matter, pansy? Can’t stand up?” “Do you think we’ll get married one day?” “We’ll always love you no matter what.” “I miss you.” “You’re like a superhero!” “You’ve changed…” “You’re terrible.”

Teru got up. The phone. The phone. The phone. The fucking phone! Water rushed off of Teru’s body and he didn’t care. He had to stop it. He had to end it. He had to… he had to…

But Teru’s jumbled thoughts were interrupted by a loud shatter. He barely had time to react. He raised his arms up to protect his face as glass shards came flying toward his body. His arms and chest were not spared. He could feel the sharp pains. Teru slowly lowered his arms and looked at the mirror. Not much remained of it. But there were some glass shards on the bottom left that didn’t go flying off. It was still cracked and Teru was reflected in pieces as if sliced apart and put back together, but the pieces no longer fit.

Teru looked down at his arms. There were two glass shards sticking out of his left arm and one sticking out of his right. His chest had several open cuts bleeding a deep red. Teru was not writhing in pain. He was not about to quickly take care of the wounds. It was almost funny how calm he was. And he was just freaking out a moment ago. But the second he saw the sight of his own blood, his heart rate slowed down. His eyes relaxed.

Yes. Teru was relaxed. He’d seen the sight of blood many times before, but only now he had begun to realize just what a pretty color it was. Teru had never been the biggest fan of the color red, but the color was the most stunning shade of it he had ever seen. Deep and subtle, yet bright and vibrant at the same time. It was hypnotic.

No, wait a second. Hold on. Maybe that’s kind of fucked up. Teru lifted the glass out of his arms with telekinesis as he held them out over the sink. Damn, they really did hurt. As Teru gently lifted the pieces of glass out, he could feel warm blood dripping down from his arms into the sink. It wasn’t much. If the glass had hit the underside of his arms he might be in real danger. But it was just the backs, so it was probably fine. He lifted up the other shards of the mirror that were scattered around him. He had been inspired by Mob’s ability fix an entire school building to make it look as though nothing had happened, so Teru had learned how to fix something as small as a broken mirror. He just needed to separate the blood from the shards that cut into him and put all the pieces into their proper places like a puzzle. But he hesitated before fusing all the pieces together. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get a full look at himself without the hiding behind the cracks. As it was, he probably looked miserable.

Teru didn’t look at the mirror when he fixed it. He could tell he had done his job. But he didn’t really want to see the finished project. Instead he looked down into the safety of his damaged arms and focused on the pain. And as the sting of the wounds settled in Teru let out a small laugh. So small, it could have been mistaken for a sharp exhale. But Teru looked down at his bloodied arms with a melancholy smile of a boy who had accepted and succumbed to defeat.

It’s better like this.

Teru didn’t bother patching up the bite mark on his thumb. If it got infected, whatever. Who cares. Teru didn’t. What he did care about was that it was now 5:00am and he had been searching this whole night for Ritsu of all people. Well, whatever. This was easier to do. At least he had Ritsu to blame for all of this. Still, he couldn’t believe that Ritsu had been lying to everyone about their training sessions.

…

Scratch that. He could definitely believe it. Still, it was irritating. What was even more irritating was how much he was worrying his brother again.

Guess some people don’t learn from their mistakes.

Granted, Teru had somewhat been dragging out the search. Mostly because the place where he most expected to find Ritsu was the place he least wanted Ritsu to be. But Teru knew where he would be from the start. And like an idiot, Teru decided to help Ritsu keep his little secret. So he covered for him, pretended that he didn’t know anything, and suggested they split up to search all over town. And now, Teru was flying over trees, looking for some asshole who never learns.

Teru stopped when he saw the familiar crumbling building. A lot of the trees surrounding it were toppled over onto their sides, and the flat ground seemed to be overturned and a lot less grassy. Teru lowered himself onto the squishy surface of the dirt. Just what was Ritsu doing here?

“So you came.”

The voice seemed to be coming from above. Teru looked over to see Ritsu standing atop the ruins, painted orange by the barely rising sun. Teru could see dirt and scratches covering his whole body. He looked as though he had been living out in the forrest for days.

From Ritsu’s perspective, Teru was hardly visible. The sun was blinding him over the trees and yet teru was a figure in the dark, obscured by the shadows that the light left in it’s place. But Ritsu could sense it was Teru. He was alone. He was tired.

Perfect.

“Ritsu…” said Teru, looking up at the glowing boy. “What are you doing here? Why did-”

“I knew you would come, Teru-sa- No. Teru.”

Teru began to feel a bit anxious by how cryptic he was being. But really, Ritsu wasn’t a threat. He had nothing to worry about.

Or so he thought.

Ritsu looked down, and his eyes were obscured by the shadow of his hair that was beginning to rise like the hair of a cat when it’s scared. But Ritsu did not show fear, but rather a wide grin on his face.

And then Teru felt the ground giving out underneath him. It took him a few seconds to realize what was going on, and by the time those few seconds had passed he found himself hitting the ground as dirt began to fall from above. Teru reacted quick, throwing up a barrier and throwing himself in the direction he believed to be “up”. Teru knew he had broken out of the ground when he saw light and no longer felt dirt all around him, but he did not react quick enough to avoid getting temporarily blinded by dirt. He landed on what was hopefully stable ground and coughed out the dirt that had entered his lungs. But he could barely catch a second to breathe before he heard something rumbling behind him. He turned around and shot his hands out, but the large object rumbling toward him was already on his hands. And from the dry splintering feeling Teru could tell it was a tree.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Teru forced all his psychic energy into his hands at once and broke the tree in half, but the two pieces now surrounded teru on either side and both of them were heading over to him. Teru decided to avoid the threats instead of face them and using his psychic powers, he jumped as high as he could backwards until he found himself hitting a wall, and sliding down onto ground that was highly unstable. And that was when Teru felt the full force of a shoe slamming into his mouth.

Ritsu!

Teru could feel his energy. Now he had him. Teru was still mostly blinded by the dirt in his eyes, but he could sense the psychic power that Ritsu was using behind his blows. His arm was coming next. Teru grabbed his incoming fist, twisted it, and used his other arm to send Ritsu flying backwards into what was hopefully the forrest. He made sure to hit right in the stomach to knock the wind out of him as well.

Teru wiped dirt from his eyes and stood up. His vision was still blurry, but at least he could make out the scenery. But Teru felt something hard rolling around in his mouth. Was it a rock? No, it was too smooth. Teru spat it out, and felt around in his mouth with his tongue. There was a gap where a tooth should have been…

RITSU!

Ritsu could just barely hear Teru over his own struggle to stay conscious after the blow Teru had delivered. And as he got close, he began to feel vines tightly wrap around his body and lift him off the ground and into the air.

Chlorokinesis?

Ritsu didn’t know that was a skill Teru had learned, but it didn’t quite matter. He was in no shape to fight against it. And to think, after all that he had done to Teru he was still able to do this. Teru truly was a monster. As Ritsu caught his breath he found himself dangling in the air, tightly bound by the plants around him. Teru was below, with hands on his knees wiping dirt from his eyes and coughing. When he looked up, Ritsu could see his eyes were red and watery

“Ritsu…” Teru’s voice was raspy and angry. Ritsu smiled. “Are you fucking… trying to kill me?!”

“Even if I was trying to kill you, I wouldn’t be able to. Isn’t that right, Teru?”

“I’ve been searching for you for literal hours and this is the thanks I get?!”

“I think it’s a pretty good thanks. Didn’t you say you wanted me to surprise you? Well, consider yourself surprised!”

Teru opened his mouth as if to retort, but he closed it, realizing he couldn’t argue with that. But then Teru spoke again.

“That’s not really the whole story, is it?”

“Of course not.”

“Then what is?”

Ritsu couldn’t hold back laughter anymore. Everything was going perfectly.

“What are you…” Teru began to sweat. He truly had no idea what was going on.

“Teru, how long are you going to keep up this façade? It really doesn’t suit you.”

“Huh?”

“This whole act. I’ve grown tired of it. I want to see the real you, Teru.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“That’s because you aren’t being honest with yourself. You see, I’m showing you the real me, so it would only be polite if you could return the favor.”

“What do you want me to do, beat you up?”

“I want you to show me what you’re holding back.”

“What exactly am I holding back?”

“Teru, you try so hard to hide it, but the thing is, we’re the same. You can’t hide it from me. I can read you like a book. Let me guess. You were popular in school. You cheated at life because you had powers. You might have been a bit of a bully, too. You were probably full of yourself until you met my brother, and you made the mistake of triggering his powers. So now you’re a ‘changed person’ am I wrong?”

Teru didn’t respond, but judging by the look on his face, Ritsu had nailed it.

“Well, we aren’t much different,” Ritsu continued, “I mean, I originally once thought I could change my worldview too. I thought I could live happily. I thought I was capable of something like that. But I was a fool. I know what you’re going through, Teru. You want to be different. But you need to know the truth. You are exactly the same.”

“Ritsu…”

Ritsu could feel the vines coiled around his body get tighter, but he continued to speak.

“I see it, Teru. I see it in your eyes. You can’t stand me. You’re trying to take everything out on me. You’re just reenacting those scenarios you’d play out back when you were at the top of your school. Back before you ‘changed.’ But you haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“Shut up…”

“You’re an asshole at heart. You’re personality still reeks of a self-entitled brat. And that’s what you are at your core. This is who you really are, Teru.”

“Ritsu… if you know what’s good for you, you’ll shut up now.”

“I never knew what was good for me! And neither do you! But I’ve realized that people can’t change. You’re either born good, or you’re not. And you, Teru, are a bad person at heart.”

But don’t get me wrong, thought Ritsu, I don’t hate you. In fact, Teru, I think you just might be the only person who understands me. That’s why I want you to experience this with me. The freedom of defeat… I am truly invincible right now.

“Oh? And are you much different?” snapped Teru. “You and your fucking brother complex… You know he doesn’t need you to protect him right? All you ever do is fucking worry him! Are you scared of him? Pathetic! You don’t even deserve to call yourself a Kageyama! You’re only a burden to him!”

“I know,” said Ritsu, calmly. “That’s why I’m here. You can’t hurt me with those words, Teru. Because I’ve accepted the truth. Have you?”

“Yes! I’ve changed! That's the truth!”

“No. It isn't.”

“Shut up!”

Ritsu found himself darting quickly towards the ground and hitting it with a hard smack. In the process, a few of the vines binding Ritsu had loosened up, so Ritsu broke free using all the strength he had. But as he stood up he found an air whip coiled around his neck. Teru flung Ritsu as far as he could into the sky and then shortly followed him up there and grabbed Ritsu by the neck with his hand.

“I’m going to make you take it all back,” said Teru, gripping tighter and tighter onto Ritsu’s neck. “I’m going to make you beg for me to stop. So you better not go crying to your brother after I’m through with you.”

Teru loosened his grip as if to alow Ritsu a chance to retort. So Ritsu did it with a smile.

“I’d love to see that.”

“Tch.”

Teru wrapped another air whip around Ritsu’s leg and quickly flew back to the ground, dragging Ritsu down with him. But Ritsu was prepared, and was able to break his fall without breaking any bones. Teru didn’t let up. He brought the trees that Ritsu had prepared for him into the sky and lit them both on fire using pyrokinesis. The look in his eyes was a mixture of both rage and ecstasy. From an outsider’s perspective, it may have looked like Teru was genuinely trying to kill Ritsu. But Ritsu knew that was the furthest thing from his mind. At this point, Teru had stopped seeing Ritsu as a person. He had become an idea. A concept. A thing that Teru had to crush in order to protect himself. But the more he tried to crush it, the more that concept would take over him until Teru officially became the thing he hated most.

Teru hated himself. He was ashamed of himself. Ritsu was absolutely certain of that.

And as Ritsu dodged flaming trees he felt that none of Teru’s malice was truly directed towards him. In a sense, there was a comfort to it all. Perhaps it’s true that misery loves company.

As fires surrounded Ritsu, obscuring Teru from his vision, he knew exactly what he wanted from the start.

He wanted to get hurt.

And maybe this was fine. Maybe this was peaceful. Maybe this was right.

But it all ended in an instant.

Ritsu put his barrier up wide to keep out the fire. Teru knew he would do this. So he tried something he had been working on for a while. He hadn’t yet perfected the technique, but his sense of logic ended when rage took over.

What happened next happened in under a second, but to the two espers, it might as well have happened in slow motion. Teru suddenly appeared inside Ritsu’s barrier, with an energy bomb charging in his hand. But Teru’s smile quickly turned from ecstacy to panic. And Ritsu could tell exactly what that meant. But it was too late for Teru to stop it, and it was too late for Ritsu to lower his barrier.

Everything went white.

#shark writes #A Kick in the Teeth is Good for Some #mp100 fic #riteru #i am stil pretty proud of this chapter

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andthentherewerenone97 · 8 years ago

Text

I Just Felt Like Doing This for Fun

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Yes

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

I have no idea...

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Probably not... too introverted for that

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Nope

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Not today

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Black skirt with black nylons, black booties, burgundy blouse, black sweater, and black hat

8. How often do you listen to music?

Everyday

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans. I don’t know if I actually own any sweats.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?

Lol considering it’s 2017...

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

It’s complicated... both?

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Yes

13. What about ‘R’?

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yes

16. Are you going out of town soon?

17. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday, but it was because I was drunk and listening to the Next to Normal soundtrack, so I’m not sure if that actually counts.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Yes

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

No I don’t think so

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

Being a lesbian, not that I can think of

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

My headache, classes, my grade on the calc test I just got back, homework, life

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Again, lesbian. That might be a little creepy.

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

Hells nah

24. What are you sitting on right now?

A chair

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Nope. I’m sad and pathetic.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Oh yes

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

My roommate

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Kind of? I get slightly sick and stay just a little sick for like three months out of the year, but I rarely ever get a full on cold or illness.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

Christmas

30. Does anyone hate you?

Probably

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

Not completely empty

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

Psychological horror, not gory scary

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

The whole thing? lol 7th grade probably

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Not that I can recall

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Parents? Told my mom a couple days ago. Person not related to me? October 9th, 2015

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Hope? Yes. Do they? Probably not.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably not.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Eh. It was okay. I mean... yeah it was good. I had sushi and watched Spaceballs and Galavant so... yeah

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Nope

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

Yes. Does my roommate count?

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Nope

44. What’s the best part about school?

When it ends :P lol not having to worry completely about adult shit yet

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

Yes

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Yes

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Only every second of every day

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Yes

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

I mean... yes? No? Idk. Still same shit but I’m in college now so there’s that.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Homework. Walking back from a class I didn’t go to.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

My brother

52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

I don’t know

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yes

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Ehh it’s complicated

56. Do you think you like someone?

I know I do

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Girls

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

I actually don’t think so

60. Do you hate anyone?

Yes. One person.

61. How’s your heart?

Broken :P lol no I just don’t understand the question. Physically, metaphorically, like what?

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

It’s complicated

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

That bitch.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

Hopefully not

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

Idk. Lesbian here.

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Yes

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mother

70. How do you look right now?

Well I put makeup on today so hopefully not like death

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

72. Can you commit to one person?

Yes

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Used to

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Yes

75. Did you wake up cranky?

Today? A little.

76. Are you a jealous person?

I feel like I’m not enough for someone a lot, but I’m not jealous per se.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

I’m trying to but I’m really bad at giving up on people

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Yes

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Class

81. Last person you cried in front of?

My therapist, maybe?

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yes

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Talking probably

85. Are you over your past?

Is anyone?

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Lesbian

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

Depends on what they say

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

Hopefully...?

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Yes

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

No. Lesbian again

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

No, so it wasn’t going

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

I don’t know if I liked anyone in March

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

My mom? Um... idk...

97. Who do you have texts from?

Unopened? None. Opened... too many to count

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Well, fuck

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes, but only by less than a year

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Yes

#questions #asks #ask questions #bored #felt like doing this #don't know why #thought it'd be fun

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decent-human-being · 7 years ago

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all asks!!

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? I hope so, probably 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?Sure yeah I’m 193. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?I’m pretty manic so? Like twice a week4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?Sure, spread the love man5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?I dunno?6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?Yes!7. What exactly are you wearing right now? Black sweat pants and a space jam tank top8. How often do you listen to music? Everyday, listening to music right now 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?Jeans?10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2017?We’ll see11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?I’m a decent amount of both but I love being around people until the second I don’t ya know?12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?Yes13. What about ‘R’?Mmhmm14. Can you drive a stick shift?Not well but I can get us there15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?Nope, way to used to it 16. Are you going out of town soon?I wouldn’t be opposed to it17. When was the last time you cried?Last week lmao18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?Yes19. If you could change your eye color, would you?Nah I’m good20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?Yes, Chris Pratt 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.I’m awake22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Sure yeah23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?I don’t know?24. What are you sitting on right now? My bed25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Yeah my friends and I say we love each other 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Haven’t we all?27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?Jordan28. Do you get a lot of colds?Probably I just refuse to acknowledge them29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Walmart what up30. Does anyone hate you? I’m sure31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?They aren’t empty yet but yeah32. Do you like watching scary movies?Yes!33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Not especially 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?7th grade35. Did you have a dream last night?I don’t remember it36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?Yesterday 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?If the rest of my life is figured out then sure38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?God I hope so39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Probably 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?Yep, started in a new kitchen I’m already liking 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Yes42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?Hopefully 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Yes44. What’s the best part about school?Getting out of it45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?I don’t have a Facebook46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?Yeah that was good times47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?Sure48. Were you single over the last summer?Nope49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?Oh no things are so different now 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?Sleeping51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?My dad lmao52. Are you nice to everyone?I’m nice until the second you give a reason not to be53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Oh definitely 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yes, cheating is the most fucked up shit 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?Eh56. Do you think you like someone?Yes very much57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?Yes, hope to again some time58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?I don’t really care either way I like chill people 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?Only a few60. Do you hate anyone?Only a few61. How’s your heart?A mess but hopefully not for long62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?Yeah it’s called my past 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?I don’t think so 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?Idk, show your face you coward65. Are your toenails painted pink?Nah, they’re still black residue though 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Sure hope not67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?Huh?68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?Yes, guys are dumb69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?My boss70. How do you look right now?Covers in blankets and comfortable 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?I’m pretty much my complete self at all times, there’s very little filter that I have left72. Can you commit to one person?Definitely 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?Mmhmm74. Have you ever felt replaced?Oh boy 75. Did you wake up cranky? Not especially today I just hate waking up76. Are you a jealous person?YES lmao77. Are relationships ever worth it?Definitely 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? Not right now but I’ve given up on a few people before79. Currently wanting to see anyone?God yes 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?Spreading my grandpas ashes81. Last person you cried in front of? My friend wyatt82. Is there someone you will never forget?For sure83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?Somewhat, but most people know that I’m going to do what I want and I’m tough enough to take the consequences 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?Cuddling and listening to music, maybe get some breakfast 85. Are you over your past?Never 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?Oh yeah that was a doozy87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?Yeah man88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?I don’t even know at this point 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?Yes, it’s cold out there90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yep yep91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?We’ll see, I’m open to it92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Yeah he’s my boy93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?Nah94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?I was, it was great95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?I don’t know 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?Drop dead gorgeous 97. Who do you have texts from?Work and friends98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Still trying to figure that out 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yeah, but only like two years older 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?It’s of sasuke uchiha101. Ever kissed under fireworks?Yeah that’s some good shit102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?Sure yeah

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