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w4tksg · 7 months

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𝜗𝜚 Beginning of Us || s.jy

~ Sypnosis: It’s only when you leave that you begin to realize you need them

~ Genre: strangers to friends to lovers, college au, fluff, angst, smut

~ Warnings: Smut!! oral (f. receiving), missionary, doggy, fingering, bathtub sex, breast fondling, tummy bulge, unprotected sex, soft sex, rough sex, slight sub jake, trust issues, they are very toxic for each other mentions of infidelity, Jake being a dumbass bf 😒, alcohol consumption, aussie line (skz) cameo, oc is soooo delulu, she doesn’t know better 🤦🏻‍♀️, bestie sunoo n heeseung 🥹, heartbreak (on many different occasions) 😞, oc js wants to be loved 💔 major angst THEY ARE TOXIC FOR EACH OTHER

• currently playing: if it’s not you by PRYVT

~ wc: 21.7k

It is the start of exam season; the snow is starting to fall from the sky, and it’s become cloudy most days. The walk from your dorm to your class was so cold that you had double-layered for today’s weather. On your way to class, you get pushed back by someone. Before you could turn around to scold whoever it was, he bolted.

“Fucking bitch” you muttered under your breath. You only got a glimpse of his brunette hair and red jacket. He was tall and had a lean figure, he’s not someone you’ve seen around campus. Picking your things up you make your way over to class. Days like these make you regret not taking online courses.

After class, you texted your best friend Sunoo to meet you for lunch. The café you entered was warm; unlike outside, you ordered yourself a hot chocolate to warm your body up. After you pick up your order you bump into someone for the second time today, Looking up you see it's the same man who bumped into you earlier. The burning sensation of the hot chocolate hits your skin through your jacket. “Fuck,” you whisper under your breath “Watch where you’re going, asshole!” The man turns to your standing frame and frantically grabs napkins from the counter. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” His eyes go wide as he pushes the napkins into your hand “Please let me buy you another one, I’ll even buy you a new jacket”. The voice that comes from his lips takes you by surprise.

He has an Australian accent; It’s an accent you haven’t heard from around here before. The unfamiliar voice sends shivers down your spine. Raising your head from your jacket to the man standing in front of you, you find dark brown eyes looking into yours; ‘he’s so pretty’ you think. You have to pause for a moment to search your mind for something to say back to him.

“Please, buying me new clothes is unnecessary, but I would appreciate it if you bought me another drink. Just watch where you’re going next time,” you tell him

“Yeah, of course. What did you order? I’ll pay for it,” He begins to pull his wallet out to get ready to pay for his and your order.

“A hot chocolate” He walks over to the barista and orders.

After paying for the food he turns to you again and bows his head down, a look of shame spread across his handsome face. “Look I’m sorry again”

“It’s okay really. Stop with the apologies, buying my drink is enough”

“Order for Jake!” the barista calls out.

After getting your drink from the boy, Jake, speaks up again.

“Can I take you out to lunch? For one last apology?”

Before you can answer him your phone rings. The name read ‘Sunoo’.

“Maybe another time, Jake” You smile at him and answer your phone.

Catching sight of Sunoo as you walk into the restaurant, Sunoo looks up from his phone and waves you down.

“Hey! Why are you so late I thought we said 12:30,” he says in a sassy tone.

“Something happened at the café I was at. Some guy bumped into me, and I spilled my drink all over myself. He ended up paying for it, but he asked me to lunch. I kinda told him no because I was already on my way to see your ass and I already had plans.” You explained the whole ordeal that had gone down.

“Was he cute?” he asked

“He was” You smile down at your fidgeting hands.

“He had an accent too; I don’t think he’s from around here,” you think out loud.

Sunoo looks at you with a dumbfounded face “Yeah, no shit Sherlock, of course, he’s not from around here. Who else have you met with an Australian accent around here” he rolls his eyes playfully.

You laugh at him. He begins to talk about how his day had gone so far. “Oh my god, Heeseung is driving me insane.” He talks about his roommate. “He’s been blasting his speaker so loud with his goddamn guitar while I’m studying for my thousands of upcoming tests.” He speaks with a sarcastic tone. “Sometimes I wish I said no to being roommates with him” Sunoo and Heeseung were the first friends you made at the new high school you went to during your senior year.

Being friends with them for a handful of time was like having a party every day. They’d drag you out of your house to get you away from studying and keep your mind off school for a while.

“Why don’t you tell him to shut up? It works when I do it” you shrug at him.

He tilts his head up and sighs. “It only works because it’s you, he always listens to you but not me” he gives a side-eye.

“Then I can’t help you there buddy” You ruffle his hair.

Thankfully, today your schedule was free. Your shift at the library didn’t start until one o’clock this afternoon so you were stuck studying for the rest of your tests you had coming up. It was only ten, and you called up Sunoo and Heeseung and asked if you could stay at their place until you had to go to work. Of course, they agreed and you made your way over.

The frost in the air hits your skin as you walk out of your apartment. The sky was gloomy, but the sun peeked through just a bit. Gloomy days always make you feel cozy. They made you want to stay inside and curl up in your blanket. But today you needed to be productive; you had shit to get done.

Walking up the stairs to their dorm you already had a spare key they gave you “in case of an emergency” as they said. You unlock the door and hear the obnoxious noise Sunoo was talking about, Heeseung’s electric guitar. When you walk in Sunoo is sitting on the floor working on top of the coffee table in front of the T.V. He was wearing a thick hoodie due to the cold air blowing through their room.

“Hey,” you shouted over the loudspeaker.

“Finally! Can you please tell him to turn off the speaker and shut the fuck up? I can’t fail this semester, or it’ll be the end of me.” Nodding your head at him you stomp your way to Heeseung’s room.

“HEESEUNG” you yell as loud as you can. He hears nothing. Too focused on his guitar you walk up to the plug of his speaker and unplug it.

“Hey!” before realizing that it’s you his expression changes.

“Oh, hi ___” he smiles at you.

Sunoo walks in behind you next to the door.

“Oh so, you listen to her and not me? You’re such a little shit.” He whips his head and walks back to the living room.

You snicker at him.

“We are trying to study. And you should be too, don’t you have exams coming up next week?” you ask.

“Yeah, but I wanted to practice playing a little before I started.”

You walk up to him and drag him by his arm to where Sunoo is waiting for you.

“Well practice is over, hurry and get your things. I’ll help you.” He sits down beside you and pouts as he takes his books from under the coffee table.

It’s been about two hours since you started your study session. It was almost time for you to leave for work.

“Okay, now that you know the formula for this make it into a simplified equation”

Heeseung looks at you with confusion written all over his face.

“Are you kidding me right now, Hee, we’ve been over this for the past hour how do you still not get it.” you deadpan.

“Because he doesn’t have a brain” Sunoo butts in.

You sigh heavily as you start to collect your things. Sunoo looks up at you and begs “No! Don’t leave me here with him. If you do, I’ll fail my exams because I’ve lost brain cells listening to him talk about nonsense.” You look down at where he’s sitting, and you laugh at him

“You’ll be fine, if anything come by the library and study there. I’ll be in until six. And you too.” you point a finger at Heeseung.

“We have books in there that will help with your exam,” you tell him.

“Alright, fine if you’re working tomorrow, we’ll swing by,” Heeseung says.

“Good. I’ll see you guys tomorrow then!”

You put your shoes on and your coat closing the door behind you. You make your way to the library.

“I hate you” Sunoo stares at Heeseung.

It’s getting closer to the time you’re supposed to clock in. Making it just a few minutes early you go through the door, and you’re hit with a gust of warm air. The library was packed with students. Now that it was getting closer to exam time, this was the busiest time in the library.

As you make your way behind the desk you meet with someone already sitting in your seat. It’s the same head of brunette hair you bumped into a few days ago. Walking towards him, he catches you from the corner of his eye and smiles at you.

“Hey” you smile at him

“Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to stay this long for overtime” he apologizes.

“It seems every time we meet you’re always apologizing for something.” you chuckle

“Yeah, sorry about that” you laugh at him this time.

“No, it’s okay. It’s cute” At that he smiles. His cheeks are rosy from the blush.

“So, when did you start working here?” you ask him to make conversation.

“I started working here a few days ago actually” You get distracted by his accent. There was something about you and your accents. You had always found them attractive. And his face? God, he was so pretty; you couldn’t take your eyes off him. Shaking out of your daydreams you snap back to reality.

“Oh, so that’s why I haven’t seen you around here,” you say curiously

“Yeah, I just transferred here from Australia. I had better opportunities here.”

“Ah, I see. How do you like it so far over here?” you ask him. You had never met a foreigner before; he seemed like an interesting person to you and you wanted to know more about him.

“Did you move here with your family or are you on your own?” you look at him. He speaks to you while holding eye contact.

“No, I’m not alone actually. Her name is Layla. I brought her with me, so I wasn’t by myself.” Your heart sinks a little. You expected him to be single since he offered to take you out for lunch.

Curiously you ask, “How long have you been with her?”

“Ever since she was born,” he says

What? Is he? No.

“I’m sorry what?” caught off guard you ask him “What do you mean since birth”

He looks at you and laughs “She’s my dog. I’ve had her since she was a puppy”

Your eyes widen. How embarrassing, of course, he has a dog named Layla. You laugh loudly at your mistake

“Oh my god, I thought... ugh this is so embarrassing.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about” he shakes his head slightly and reassures you

“What about you? Do you have any pets?”

“No, I don’t” you chuckle

“I do have two best friends though, Sunoo and Heeseung”

“They’re guys?” he gives you a look that makes you feel slightly off, but you shake it off.

“Yep! I take care of them, make sure they’re doing well.” You say sarcastically. “They’re my best friends. They’re like my older brothers, they look out for me, you know?”

The conversation flows as you continue to talk to him. You don’t notice the time flying by when you look out the window near the front desk. Your eyes graze over to the clock and it’s already past the time you were supposed to clock out.

Hastily collecting your things and pushing the chairs in as you stand up and walk over to the lights. “Sorry, I spent so much time talking about myself I didn’t even notice the time passed by” you chuckle nervously.

“No, don’t apologize. I enjoyed spending my time with you. Plus, barely anyone walked through the door today. Helped pass the time”

When you smile up at him your cheeks flush with red. Eyes rising to look at him up close made you realize how handsome he was. You notice his prominent cheekbones when he smiles. And the glow in his eyes in the light of the lamp next to the desk.

Checking back into reality, you both make sure everything is shut off before leaving.

“I think we should head out now, it’s getting pretty late, and I have an early class tomorrow.”

“Yeah, me too,” he says softly. He bends down to pick up his bag from the floor. Jake throws it over his shoulders and turns the last light out on the desk.

As you make your way through the door you’re hit with the cool breeze of December air. You turn to Jake and look up into his eyes. The moonlight hits him just right. Highlighting his prominent cheekbones and his bright brown eyes. It’s quiet for a moment. You don’t realize how close you have gotten to him. Breaths inches apart. Your eyes glide down to his lips for a second before you catch his eyes again.

“So, I’ll see you on Wednesday then?” a smile slowly appearing across his face.

“Yeah, I’ll see you”

You nod your head and head back to your dorm. He regrets not asking for your number that night.

Your morning was off to a horrendous start; you had woken up late and ended up being late to class for about thirty minutes. The lecture was an hour long, so you still had time to get some information out of it. You had been so tired the night before you had overslept and missed your alarm.

Rushing out of your door, you had forgotten to prepare your breakfast the night before. There was no time to stop now. When you walk through the door of the auditorium the door slams shut behind you and all eyes are on you. Embarrassingly walking over to your seat the professor calls for your name, “Please if you’re going to be late, try to do it quietly. I don’t need you distracting my students” Bowing your head slightly your ears turn red out of embarrassment.

You silently walk past a few students with your head down. Jake discreetly looks at you from one of the seats closer to the top. He smiles at the way you cover your face as you look for a seat. Finally, you sit down and listen to what's left of the lesson.

Walking out of class, you hear heavy footsteps from behind you. Your name comes out of someone’s mouth and you look over your shoulder to find the culprit.

“Hey,” Jake puts his arm around your shoulder.

Looking up at him, he has a smile on his face as he looks down at you.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to hang out, you know, outside of work?”

Your face lights up at the suggestion. He takes notice of the bright glimmer in your eyes. Moving your head down you laugh lightly and tuck your hair behind your ear

“Yeah, sure. I’d like that” turning your head up to look at him.

“Okay great, are you free this afternoon? For lunch?” he asks

You pause to think about the mental calendar you have set in your head.

“Uhm, let me check”

Not recalling any texts or calls from Sunoo you smile up at him

“Yes, I can do this afternoon,” you say to him.

He smiles to himself; he can hear his heart beating in his head. The adrenaline pumps through his veins as he thinks about things he can do to spend his time with you.

“Okay, cool. I’ll see you around twelve?”

“Yeah”

“Meet me at the coffee shop near the science building,” he finally decides as he slowly moves his arm from your shoulder. You nod your head and make your way to your next class as you part ways. When you stop in your step you realize you don’t have his number. Before you could call out for his name he had already disappeared to class. You’ll just have to wait for him to show up.

It was nearing lunchtime; some students had already left campus. After walking out of class your feet guide you to the coffee shop Jake had told you to meet him at. Today’s weather was nicer than most days. It was sunny outside but still somewhat cold. Turning the corner of the building you see the coffee shop, but no sign of Jake.

When you stand outside many people walk past you. It was now 12:20. You turn around from where you’re standing and that’s when you see Jake running around the corner. Slowing down his pace you realize he is out of breath from running.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he says catching his breath. You stare at him as you wait for him to explain.

“Professor had me stay in to help him sort out some documents and I didn’t pay attention to the time, and I didn’t have your number to text you”

Deciding to let him off the hook you chuckle lightly and place a hand over his shoulder to reassure him.

“It’s okay, I was planning on asking for your number when you asked me out today, but you were gone before I could even ask you,” you tell him softly.

“Sorry about that too, I was going to ask you that day at the library, but I chickened out,” he admits

“Well give me your phone, so we have some sort of communication when we're not together” You hold your hand out for him. He pulls his phone out and hands it to you.

When you hand it back to him, he reads your name with a butterfly emoji. Smiling down at his phone he hears your phone ding with an unknown number. You save it as Jake’s number.

“There, now if we need something we can call or text each other!” you say with enthusiasm

He shakes his head at you and guides you into the café. You walk in and find a seat to sit at, Jake ends up pulling your chair out at the table near the window. Thanking him you place your jacket on the back of your seat and he takes his seat, and you spark up the conversation.

“How are your classes so far? Have the professors given you a hard time?” you ask him. He waits to respond, thinking about his answer.

“They’ve been a bit stressful; I just think it’s because I’ve transferred so late into the year. And the professors? They’re just like every other professor, assign way too many assignments and look like they don’t want to be there.”

You laugh at that.

“What about you? Are you from around this area?” He asks you the question this time.

“I’m originally from Cali, I applied for college over here because I’ve always wanted to explore Korea,” you tell him.

“One of my friends had told me about his trip here and it sounded like he had so much fun,”

“Ah, well both of my parents are from here.” He explains. “I wanted to get to know more of where I come from. They moved us over to Australia when I was about five years old” Thinking about his hometown, he begins to miss his mom’s homemade food and his old hometown friends.

“I’ve wanted to travel to a bunch of places. I just never found the time.”

He begins to go on about the exciting places he wishes to adventure. You spend most of your afternoon with him. You’re starting to enjoy spending your time with him and you end up asking him to hang out again the next day.

As you walk out of the café the cold air hits you once again.

“I have to get going for my next class. But if you’re free, do you maybe, wanna hang out again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that.” he smiles at you

“Okay great! I’ll see you around the same time as today, then?”

“Yes, and I’ll make sure to make it on time” Laughing at him you nod your head.

“Bye, Jake”

You walk away and make your way over to class.

Exams were getting closer, but on the brighter side winter break was just around the corner. You and Jake had been hanging out a lot more since that day he asked you out to lunch. Your shift at the library started and you had Sunoo and Heeseung stick around to study one last time. Heeseung agreed–against his will, to tag along but he’d much rather practice his guitar skills than be at the stupid library studying for exams.

Jake told you he wouldn’t be in today because he had to sort some things out in one of his professors’ classes. You agreed to take on double the time in his place.

Sunoo and Heeseung sat at the table near the front desk where you were sitting. You were talking about classes when Sunoo suddenly brought up Jake’s name.

“What’s going on between you two?” he asked

“Nothing, we're just friends,” you say nonchalantly

“Ah I see, and paying for everything and asking you out every single day is being ‘just friends’, sure”

“Sunoo, you’re being delusional. He’s just being a nice person”

“Whatever you say” he raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders.

“I mean he’s cute, but I don’t think we’d become a thing; I met him not even a month ago,” you say as you add the last things to your notes.

It’s been hours since any of you spoke; focusing hard on your studies. The door opens as a gust of cold air is pushed your way. You look up to see who it is. Jake stood there, wearing his puffer; and his messy brunette hair sticking out in places due to the wind.

He walks over to your seat and greets you. He puts a hand on your back and sits down in the chair next to you. Sunoo and Heeseung watch the whole interaction.

“Hey,” he smiles. Taking you by surprise, he brought you dinner. “What’s this?” he places the brown bag down next to you on the desk, placing his arm around the back of your chair. You look up at Sunoo as he’s eyeing you, waiting for you to introduce them. Giving you a look that says, ‘Just friends?’. You shake your head and focus your attention on them.

“Jake this is Sunoo and Heeseung. The best friends I told you about.” you move your hand gesturing to them.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys. I’m Jake.” he holds his hand out for them to shake.

“I know who you are.” Sunoo smiles at him and puts his hand under his chin.

Jake slowly pulls his hand back and laughs under his breath

“I’ve heard quite a lot about you actually” he looks over at you and grins. You roll your eyes at your best friend.

“I’m Heeseung. It’s nice to meet you too” he says politely smiling at him; unlike Sunoo

Bringing your attention down to your phone next to you you realize the time. It’s starting to get late, and you want to be in your bed and snuggle into your blanket considering the cold weather. Gathering your stuff, you excuse yourself.

“Wow, look at the time. It’s getting late. You guys should get going too, don’t you have early classes Hee?” you ask

Heeseung nods his head at you and picks up his books. Then, he stuffs them in his backpack.

“And thank you for the dinner, Jake. It was sweet of you.” When you smile at him you notice a subtle blush growing on his cheeks. He rubs the back of his head and smiles back at you.

“It was no big deal. But why don’t I walk you home? I don’t want you out this late at night alone.”

Agreeing to his proposal you pick your things up and bid farewell to your friends.

Just as you’re about to turn around you see a shit-eating grin on Sunoo’s face, you turn to flip him off and make your way out of the door. Jake holds it open for you and a few other people behind you leaving the library. With the final person out, you make your way over to your dorm.

The walk is silent for a while. Jake takes in a deep breath, takes the wheel, and guides the flow of a conversation “Your friends seem nice. I like Heeseung. I mean we barely said a sentence to each other, but he seems nice.” he says. And then he brings up the blabbermouth.

“And Sunoo? Was it? He said he’s heard a lot about me?” he says with a smirk on his lips.

“Do you talk about me?” He brings it up again. You start to feel the embarrassment creep up from your chest to your face. You can feel your ears start to warm up as they go unnoticeably red. Your hands go up to cover them, Jake stares at you for a moment as you walk.

“Hmm?” you pretend to think

“I don’t think I talk about you THAT often” you laugh it off

“But you do happen to come up in a sum of conversations”

“Sure” he leaves it at that. Nearing the building of your dorm, Jake stops as you get closer to the entrance.

“Well this is my stop” You tilt your head to look at his features smiling at him

“And, thank you for walking me home; and for the dinner” You lift the bag.

“I told you it’s no big deal. I enjoyed my time walking with you. To be completely honest I enjoyed every time I’ve spent with you.” he pauses to think about what to say to you next.

“I’m less alone than I thought I’d be since I met you”

This makes you blush; hard. The feeling in your stomach is making feel things. Like butterflies erupted in your tummy. You felt a sense of pride after hearing him say that about you. Your heart, rapidly thumping in your chest.

“I’m glad I was the person you bumped into that day or else I would’ve been stuck with Sunoo and Heeseung” You roll your eyes playfully.

“Oh c’mon, they can’t be that bad”

“Please, try being with them 24/7 for four years. It’s like I’m babysitting two toddlers”

He laughs at that. He starts to feel the same way you do after he sees your smile. It's not your normal smile. It’s that big bright smile you show when you’re belly laughing. He finds it so adorable he could just kiss you. And he might just do that. Because you see him lean in after you’ve calmed down from your high of laughter. Looking up at him you finally realize what he’s doing.

And you do nothing to stop it, you’re already leaning into him too. When you close your eyes, you feel his soft lips against yours. The kiss is soft and gentle. He feels your smile against him, teeth clashing, and it causes him to do the same as well. Jake’s hand is placed in your hair and the other is placed on your neck. The butterflies have made their way to your chest.

This feeling ignites something new in you. A feeling you haven’t felt in a while. Finally, pulling apart, he leans his forehead against yours and stays there for a minute before he says something.

He chuckles under his breath and says “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” You giggle into his chest and place a small peck on his lips. When opens his eyes he feels you pull back from him. “Thank you again for tonight. Text me when you get home, safely” you tell him as you walk backward to the door.

“Goodnight Jake”

He stands there still in shock about what had just occurred. Not believing he had just had his first kiss with you. After registering what you had said, he nods his head and turns around.

“Goodnight,” he says under his breath.

Today is full of exams, right after today is the start of your freedom. You called Sunoo and Heeseung over to help them study for one last and final time. When you hear Sunoo’s knock on the door you walk over to your door and open it for them.

“Did you guys fuck?” is the first thing he says to you. Unbelievable. You shake your head at him and push him into your room.

“Jeez Sunoo, let the girl breathe. You were just ambushing her with questions about him yesterday. When is it enough?!” he exclaimed.

Sunoo and you pause for a minute and look at each other. Then, you both burst into laughter at your friend’s outburst. Heeseung gives you both an annoyed look as they both walk into the living room. Sunoo waits patiently for you to spill your guts on what happened between you and the boy. As per his request, you explain and finally spew what had happened.

“We kissed”

“I knew something happened between you two!” He starts jumping around the room, his hands balled into a fist out of excitement

“Okay calm down, you’re acting like they’re getting married,” Heeseung says.

You go to sit next to Heeseung pull your laptop out of its bag and begin studying. Sunoo finally calmed down, he walked into the kitchen to get snacks for the time being

It’s been over an hour since the boys came over. Your phone suddenly rings and when you turn it over to see who was calling; Jake’s name appears on the screen.

“Hey, are you doing anything right now?”

You look back at your friends, they seem to be occupied with their work. You stand up from your seat and walk to the kitchen. Making sure Sunoo wouldn’t eavesdrop on your conversation

“No, I’m not doing anything, why?” you ask curiously

“Great, do you wanna hang out?”

A smile starts to spread across your face when you feel that same feeling you felt the other night erupt in your stomach.

“Yeah, just give me a few minutes and text me when you’re here”

By the time you're finished getting ready, Sunoo looks up at you with a confused look.

“And where are you going?”

“Out”

“Out where?” he raises one of his eyebrows

“With Jake?”

You stay quiet, and you start to feel a smile creep on your face.

When your phone dings with a notification, your heartbeat picks up. The text read ‘I’m here’.

“Bye, guys!”

“Wait-” Before you could let him continue his sentence you close the door and walk down the stairs to Jake.

When you walk out the door you can see Jake standing next to the bench near the door, on his phone, patiently waiting for you to emerge from your dorm. Your last exam started around late afternoon; you had the time to spend with Jake. Neither of you had discussed what happened between the two of you the night before.

When you open the door Jake can feel his heartbeat speed up at the thought of you. Turning, he’s face to face with you now before he can stop himself, he has his arms wrapped around your waist. He barely pulls away and your faces are so close your lips are touching. You lean in, peck his lips in a quick action, and smile.

“Hi,” you say quietly

You look so adorable. Your cheeks have gotten red due to the cold outside. He smiles at you pulls away and grabs your hand walking beside you.

“So where are we going?” you ask curiously looking up at him

Without answering he smiles and takes the lead.

“It’s a surprise,” he says with a smirk on his face

“What do you mean surprise?” you ask. An unsure smile appears on your lips

“Trust me, hmm?” Taking a deep breath and taking a leap of faith in trusting him. Walking over to his car he opens the door for you. Thanking him he closes the door and walks over to the driver's seat.

It’s been about an hour since Jake picked you up from your dorm, and you end up in the middle of a gorgeous cherry magnolia tree. The white petals slowly fall from the branch. There’s a bridge leading up to a forest of them you gasp out loud bringing your hands up to your mouth and letting go of his. Walking across the bridge you take in the sight of the white flowers growing on the branches. This has to be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever come across. Turning back to Jake, you ask him “How do you know about this place? It’s so pretty, I didn’t even know this was here”

He looks around at the trees and makes you wait for a response

“I don’t know, had a couple of friends help me pick out a place you’d like. Plus I did do a little bit of digging. And by digging I mean I asked Sunoo what your favorite flower was”

At the mention of his friends, you think back and rack your brain, trying to remember if Jake ever mentioned any of his friends. Now realizing you’ve never met any of them. Remembering Sunoo mentioning this place, he wanted to visit sometime over winter break. You smile at the thought of Jake going to your friend for advice.

Caught up in your thoughts you don’t notice when Jake walks up behind you. A shiver runs up your spine when you feel his warm hands run along your waist, softly digging his face into the crook of your neck. Taking in the scent of strawberries, and looking around at the trees; you can’t get enough of how pretty the trees are during this time.

They must be even prettier during the springtime, you think. Fallen magnolia flowers pile near a bench, you walk over and take a seat pulling Jake by his hand to follow you. He pulled out his phone opened the camera app and snuck a few snaps of you. You looked so beautiful to him that he couldn’t resist, he set a reminder in his head to add it to your contact. Watching you made him feel so many things; things he’s never felt before for someone.

When you look back at him you pause for a moment, the look on his face makes you blush. Unconsciously he slowly leans into you faces close so close you can feel his cold breath against his, foreheads touching, finally lips touching. The taste of your sweet lips on his makes him burst with warmth.

The feeling of his soft lip against yours makes your tummy do summersaults, and your body feels immune to the cold as the warmth radiating from his body makes you feel like you are sitting next to a fire. Slowly, pulling away his big brown eyes look into yours. Crinkled at the corners as you smile at him. Breathing in you begin to question what your situation is now

Do you put a label on it? Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend? Does he think this is just you ‘fooling around’? All those questions disappear when you speak up

“So what does this mean for us?” you ask

“Will you be mine?”

Finally, after waiting for so long. Nodding your head in response a big smile forms on your precious lips and you throw your arms around him. Feeling nothing but joy and happiness at this moment you get to share with your boyfriend

With finals out of the way and winter break starting Jake was over at your place for hours on end. Intimacy has been out of the picture for quite some time now. You wanted to see where this would go first. He took you out on dates around the city and he would even drive you out of town to show you some places he had seen while mindlessly scrolling on Tiktok and wanted to take you there.

Sitting on the couch with your boyfriend you both agreed to stay in today and put on traditional Christmas movies. Your head lay on his chest while his hands settled on your lower back. His hoodie was covering his long brunette hair, and his glasses over his features. In the small silence of the room with the movie quietly playing in the back, Jake starts to move his hands lower. Your hands end up moving up to his neck as you look up at him and scoot closer, you're face to face with him. Faces inches apart you slowly move your way closer to him. Your lips land on his and you move into a slow kiss. His soft lips melt into yours.

Moving his tongue between your lips for access; you grant him what he needs. The room is filled with the smacking of your lips. Sitting up Jake pulls you over his hips and he places his hands on your ass and squeezes. You let out a small whine when his cold hands make their way under the thin sweater you wore and make contact with your warm skin.

As he moves his hands upwards, the sweater starts to ride up your stomach making its way over your head the sweater is left on the floor now. Letting out a small gasp as your perked nipples come in contact with the cold air. Jake leans down and places his lips over your chest, the sensation makes you wet. You grind your hips over his hard-on; his loud groan filling the room.

Moaning into your chest, he kisses his way up over your neck. He stays there for a while, sucking and licking. You can feel your panties getting wetter from his actions he flips you over throws his glasses off onto the table, and lifts his hoodie off over his head. The sight of his abs makes you rub your thighs together to relieve the ache between them. Jake hooks his fingers on the waistband of your pants and pulls them down. Not before he asks, “You sure you want this?”

“Please, Jake. I need you so bad”

This turns him into a madman. He tears your pants off along with your soiled panties. He makes fast movements, bringing his fingers down to your heat and glides them through your folds.

“All this for me baby? Did I do this to you? So fucking needy you have your panties drenched for me? Huh, darling?”

“Only for you” you moan as his thumb comes in contact with your clit. Whimpering lowly, Jake makes his way down kissing your stomach, he stops at your pelvis. He looks up at you with his lower lip hanging low, jawline so fine he can through the tension between the two of you. He takes in the sight of your fucked out expression and moves his head under the blanket you shared.

He kisses your thighs and hooks his arms around them his lips hovered over yours, gripping his hair, needy for him. Finally, he digs his face into your sopping cunt, his tongue finds your clit and slowly he draws slow circles, teasing you.

“Jake, please”

“Be patient, baby. I swear I’ll make you feel so good”

Trusting his word, you let him do his thing. His tongue glides through your pussy making you quiver. Pulling your hips closer to his face, making sure you don’t move. Eating you out like it’s his last meal he rapidly flicks his tongue over your clit, your thighs shaking beside him from the pleasure. The sloppy sound of your pussy is the only sound in the room, the sound of the TV blocked out by the pleasure. Moving your hand up to your soft tit, you roll your nipple between your fingers moaning his name, not giving a care if you are too loud or not.

“Ugh, Jake you make me feel so good”

Gripping his hair hard you start to feel the burning sensation in your lower stomach. Chasing after your orgasm you start to blank, forgetting your own name his digits find your entrance. Dwelling in the feeling of your wet cunt against his lips he slowly enters you. Whines spew from your throat as you arch your back, looking down at him. Taking in the sight of his tongue repeatedly lap your cunt. You bite your lip so hard you think you're bleeding. Letting out a loud gasp you pull him up by his hair and bring him back to you; kissing his lips, you can taste yourself on his tongue.

“I need your cock, so bad” you say softly

Pulling away from you he pulls his sweats down along with his boxers. Impatient, he pulls his throbbing cock out teasing it against your entrance. Swollen, dripping, red tip, needy for your cunt.

“Do you have a condom?”

“I’m on the pill, it’s okay.”

Leaning in and giving you a sweet peck against your lips he sinks in slowly. His pace is slow at first, letting you adjust to him. You can feel every inch of him sinking in, getting deeper with his slow motions. His hands are on either side of your head holding himself steady. Finally, he bottoms out. Slowly but surely picking up his pace, you can feel every vein rub against your aching walls. Slamming his hips into yours, your back arches into him, head tilted back as you moan his name out, forgetting everything in your mind as you solely focus your attention on the pleasure. As he's moving in and out, he kisses you roughly. Teeth clashing against each other; the rough sounds of his hips pushing into yours make you feel that same sensation you had felt minutes ago.

Jake lays his face in the crook of your neck and kisses your collarbone. “Who’s making you feel so good, huh? Say my name, baby c’mon” he whispers into your ear. The feeling of you wrapped around him makes him pick up his pace at an animalistic speed. Never wanting to stop, he brings his thumb down and rubs against your clit, and for the second time tonight, you reach your high. You go lightheaded, seeing stars once again, and you whine as you reach your climax.

Three final thrusts, he pulls out and finishes on your stomach. Looking down you swipe your finger against his come and bring it up to your mouth. Sucking on your finger he pulls it away and kisses you.

You wake up the next day and lay in your bed. You had a t-shirt thrown over you with a fresh set of panties. You turn to your side to find your boyfriend peacefully sleeping. Moving your arm over his shoulder he places a hand on your wrist and kisses it. Sleepy eyes looking at you; he rolls you over and places his face on your neck.

“Good morning,” he says with a sleepy voice

“Hi, baby,” you say back to him.

Looking at the clock it read 10:00 am. You both had nowhere to be so you decide to stay in bed for a little while longer.

“How’d you sleep last night? I hope my bed was comfortable enough” you say

“It was plenty” he smiles with his eyes closed

Humming you go to walk over to the bathroom but you feel a tug on your arm. You land on his chest and he wraps his arm around you.

“Stay in bed for just a little while longer, love”

Now, finally out of bed. You and Jake made breakfast together but he soon had to go. He made plans with a friend he made while at the library. “My friend’s planning on throwing a Christmas party to celebrate the end of exams and the beginning of winter break,” his mouth still full of pancake. “You wanna come with me? You can even bring Heeseung and Sunoo along, too” Only thinking about it, Heeseung isn’t big on partying. Maybe you should ask Sunoo if he wants to go, you’re sure he doesn't have any plans. Swallowing what's left of your breakfast you perk up in your chair and give him your final decision.

“Yeah, I’ll text Sunoo and ask if he wants to go” he picks up his and your plate and walks it over to the sink to wash them. “Okay, great! The party starts at 8, I’ll pick you up around 7:30” he explains as he puts away the now-washed plate next to the drying rack by the sink. Walking over to pick up his jacket hanging from the back of his chair he leans down and pecks you on your forehead. You rise from your seat and walk him out to the front door. When he’s done putting on his shoes you place a hand on his shoulder and rise on your tiptoes to place a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. But he moves in for a proper kiss. “I’ll see you later” Waving your hand goodbye, you watch him disappear around the corner.

With your dorm void of your boyfriend, you decide to call up Sunoo to come over. Heeseung was out of town visiting his family for the holidays so it was just him in the dorm. The phone rings three times before he picks up.

“Hello?”

“Sunoo, are you doing anything right now?” you play with your hair as you talk to him

“Nothing. Why?”

“You wanna hang out today at my place? I’m bored. It takes him a few seconds until he responds.

“Okay I’ll be over in a few”

Sitting in silence with a movie playing in the background you suddenly say “We fucked”

Sunoo is left speechless, which confuses you because ever since you have mentioned Jake all he can talk about is if you’ve gotten dicked down yet. His mouth is hung open as he tries to process what you just said. After a few minutes of silence from him, he finally yells into the air and jumps around the room like a bunny rabbit. “Oh my God! All of a sudden?! Tell me everything!” you begin to explain the whole story to him. From your date to the magnolia trees to him asking you to be his girlfriend. Talking about makes you feel all giddy all over again. Sunoo, being your best friend and all, was so unbelievably happy for you.

You would need to tell Heeseung when he got back, but knowing Sunoo he would probably tell him right when he returned to their dorm. Thinking back on everything that’s happened to you in the past months has you feeling blessed. Jake has made you feel things you haven’t felt in a long time. But, sometimes you’d like to think everything is going so well. But what do they always say? There’s always a calm before the storm, is it?

“Hey, honey” your mother called you over the phone

“Hi what’s up?” placing your phone on your vanity as you touched up your makeup

Today was the party that Jake had told you about a few days ago. From what you heard from Jake, the party wasn’t supposed to be big. Just close friends of his and maybe a few other guests. You asked Sunoo if he wanted to come but long story short he had already made plans the day of but he also didn’t feel like third wheeling. He would be at his parent’s house anyway for the holidays.

“Are you coming over for Christmas? We miss you over here” From the tone of her voice you can imagine a pout forming on her lips

“Yes, Mom I already told Dad that I’d drive down to the airport and take the first flight out” You had missed your parents dearly, when you told them you wanted to go to school down in Seoul they supported you 100%. The flight from Korea to your hometown was a long way away. You were a bit disappointed that Jake wouldn’t be joining you, but understandingly he had told you that he already made plans to fly out to see his parents in Australia.

Guessing you would just have to wait you’d till you were both back to exchange gifts.

“Okay, Niyah misses you too she won’t stop asking for her Cuddle” ‘Cuddle’ was a name your niece gave you because she wasn’t able to say your name. Cuddle just stuck and she’s been calling you that ever since. “Tell her I’ll be back soon and that I miss her too” Smiling at the thought of your baby niece.

“I need to go Mom. I’ll call you when I board the plane, I love you”

“Okay be safe, I love you too”

Your phone beeps indicating of the voice call ending. Music starts to vibrate through your room again after your abrupt phone call from your mother as you stand from your desk and walk over to your closet. Before you can look through your closet for something to wear for the party a knock is heard from the front door. Jake stands on the other side of the door with his hands behind his back waiting for you patiently to let him.

A small “Hi, baby” comes from your mouth as you softly lean yourself against him. He places a hand behind your head and leans down, pecking your lips. “Hi, my love”

Stepping to the side you walk back to your room as he follows you. He walks over to your bed and lays down. Placing his hands behind his head as if he were relaxing in paradise.

“Jake” you call out for his attention. Standing in front of your closet once again you pull out two dresses. A red satin dress and a simple black one

“Hm?” he says with raised eyebrows.

“Which one looks better? The black one or the red one? I can’t decide” you ask him. He looks back and forth between you and the dresses. Turning to the mirror you put both of the dresses up to your body. The ruffling of sheets can be heard behind you. You can see Jake push himself off the bed and walk towards you

Jake sneaks his hands on your waist and looks at you in the mirror. “You look good in anything, baby. But maybe the black one. I think it suits you better than the red one.” he tells you. You turn in his arms raising your arms to wrap around his neck. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and he squeezes around your waist. Tilting your head back you look at him his smiling face looks down at you, his eyes searching over your soft features.

He leans in to kiss your forehead, then down your nose, and then your lips. “Okay” Detaching your body from his, you walk to your closet to put the red dress away and put on the black one Jake had chosen.

Jake is waiting outside in your living room as you finish up the last of your makeup and making sure you look presentable; this is your first time meeting his friends. When you walk out of your room, he looks up to the sound of your door closing and watches you in awe. You look stunning, stopping his heart for a second with the way you look tonight. A radiating smile glows on his face as he can’t seem to take his eyes off you.

He walks closer to you and stands there admiring your form. Completely breathtaking. Inching closer to you he can’t hold himself back from touching you. Slowly wrapping your arms around his waist as his hands come up to cup your cheeks.

“What?” you laugh

He softly pulls you in for a soft kiss. It’s slow and comforting, never failing to make your heart stop at every little touch. He pulls away and breathes in your scent. “You look so beautiful, darling.” Maybe you shouldn’t have added blush while you were doing your makeup. Your face was completely flush by the warmth of your dorm and the warmth he brings you every time he compliments you.

“Let’s get going now” he holds your hand and leads you to the front door. But not before you pick up your bag and you coat.

When you pull up to the party, there are a lot more people than you were told. It was more like a house party. Walking through the door, loud music was bumping through the air, sweaty bodies were being pushed up against one another.

Jake’s holding onto your hand making sure he doesn’t lose you in the crowd of people. “Let’s go to the kitchen, you want something to drink?” he yells over the music. Barely making out what he had said you nod your head at him and let him take the lead.

You don’t see many familiar faces around. Maybe some of the students you see at your lectures but that’s it. When you walk into the kitchen, Jake makes out a few familiar faces and walks over to them. He greets the many friends that he made over the past few weeks. “Hey, man,” his friend said leaning in for a hug. His eyes make their way over to you and scans you up and down. He points at you and says “Who’s this” with a smile on his face.

“Ah, guys. This is my girlfriend” he tells them your name and introduces you. “This is Chan, Jay, and Felix” He points to the one who couldn’t take his eyes away from you, Jay, and you nod your head at them as a greeting.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” you say

Jay speaks up and looks at you as if he knows you. “We have the same afternoon class, right? You always sit in that same seat up in the front,” he says with a smirk. “Yeah, I think we do. But I don’t think I have ever seen you” He makes a face as if you’ve shot him the heart “Oof, well to be fair I do keep to myself a lot”

“I’m always sat in the back. We should sit together, it’s nice to know I’ll have someone in that class that I know” Jake watches the whole interaction. He clenches his jaw as he sees the way Jay keeps looking at you up and down. You haven’t noticed it as you continue to laugh at what he says.

“Yeah, we should. I don’t know a lot of people in that class so it’s nice to know that I know at least one person”

You feel Jake’s hand pull you closer to him by your waist. You look up at him to see his irritated expression. You place a hand on his cheek and turn his head to you. “What’s the matter, baby?” His jaw is locked as he has an iron grip on you “Let’s go to the living room”

He guides you to one of the couches with heavy music blaring in your ears. He takes his seat and places you on his lap. Wrapping your arm around his neck he digs his face into the crook of your neck. You can feel his lips skin over your skin, and you feel goosebumps all over. “Are you okay” you whisper into his ear for only him to hear.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Looking into your eyes they scan over your face and land on your soft lips. He turns his head to deepen the kiss and he slips his tongue through your lips. Breathing in your flowery scent his hands glide down to your ass, pushing lightly on his chest so he could let you go. You realize you’re in public with other people around. Looking at your surroundings your eyes randomly fall in line with Jay. His eyes were already on you, Jake follows your line of sight and catches Jay looking at the both of you. He pushes you off him softly and excuses himself. “I need a drink,” he says in an almost growl. Chasing after him you place a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Wait, are you mad at me?” you say in a small voice. He only shakes his head and cups your cheeks. “No, I’m not mad at you baby. I’m just a little tired. You know I’ve been a bit stressed, having to pack and plan out all my stuff to visit my family tomorrow.” You know when he’s lying, but not wanting to fight any further, you listen to him. “Why don’t we go home then huh? We can go back to my place?”

Nodding his head at your suggestion he places his hand on your lower back to guide you to the exit. Before you can make it past the door, Jay stops you and wraps his arm around Jake’s shoulder. “Leaving already,” he says “The party just started” Jake shoves his arm off and rolls his shoulder. “Look, man, I’m not in the mood right now, so why don’t you just fuck off and leave us alone” Irritation can be heard in his tone, his brows furrowed, jaw clenched. This is the angriest he’s been around you.

Thinking back to his tone, you begin to realize how rude he was. When you walk out the door you walk a few steps behind your boyfriend as you try to keep up with him you run up to him and clasp your hand with his, but he immediately pulls back. What the fuck was with him? Did you do something to upset him? You couldn’t have, he told you nothing was wrong He looks down at you with an angry look on his face. “I’m not in the mood right now. Can we just go to your apartment?”

Nodding your head lowly you begin to walk in silence

When you walk through the door to your dorm Jake walks in behind you. It’s silent on his end, not a word coming from his mouth. He places his coat on your desk chair and sits on your bed on his phone. The vibe is off in the room that you can feel the tension seep in between the two of you. You don’t like it; you despise sitting in silence not knowing how to bring up what happened at the party. Taking a seat in front of him where your desk chair is you look at him until he looks up from his phone and at you.

Your arms are folded over each other on the back of the chair as you lay your chin over them. “Baby,” you say in a small pout. He hums in response his attention focused on his phone. This action only infuriates you. You tug on his arm and he looks up at you with an irritated expression his eyebrows furrowed.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you why are you so mad?”

“I’m not mad, what are you talking about”

You stand and you can feel your blood start to boil. The atmosphere of the room makes you feel unsettled.

“What am I talking about? What the fuck are you talking about Jake? I’m not the one that has a problem here”

“Neither do I!” he shouts back at you. Now he’s starting to irritate you.

“You do, what the hell is bothering you so much that you’re yelling at me?!” The room starts to feel hot, and the feeling in your stomach makes you want to hurl. You don’t like fighting with Jake. You hate this feeling rising in your chest. You have never fought with Jake before. It would only be about small things like who left the sink on or who didn’t close the refrigerator door.

“At the party,” finally you get an answer out of him. “Are you s out of this world to see that Jay was eyeing you all night and he was clearly flirting with you” What? What is he talking about? Yes, you saw him glance over to you for a second but you completely ignored him. It’s the first time fighting with him and it’s over something completely stupid. Was he jealous?

“No, I did not see him looking at me because I was solely focused on you the whole night. I’ve had my attention on you because why would I even bat an eye at him when I’m with you?! That doesn’t make any sense to me Jake” It takes you a while to figure out what was going on. Jake couldn’t let go of the fact that Jay was looking at you the whole night.

“Are you seriously jealous right now? I was trying to get along with your friends. Nothing even went on but a small conversation between two people and you’re seriously jealous,” The tone in your voice is raised and you can feel your blood boil up your skin. Jake turns and picks his jacket off your chair walking away from the conversation. You can practically see steam coming out from his ears.

“Look, I can’t do this right now. I need to get my stuff together before tomorrow.” he says

“Oh! So you’re walking out is what you’re doing. You’re not even willing to talk this out?”

“Yes, I am. I cannot argue with you, my head is pounding and I just can’t deal with this. I need to leave” he says sternly

“Merry Christmas” he walks out the door leaving nothing behind. You can hear your heart shatter in your ears. The door slamming behind you, Jake walks out the door along with your heart.

“Merry Christmas to you too,” you say softly under your breath

When you see your family again you feel everything disappear from the night before for a moment. You haven’t spoke to Jake since he walked out on you last night. Not a single phone call or text from him. The feeling of no contact from him sets an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

The day after Christmas your sister, Mia, walks into your old room and takes a seat at the foot of your bed.

“What’s wrong?” you look up at her. Her face has a look of sorrow. You hadn’t been that obvious, had you? That fight shouldn’t have affected you as much as it did. You’ve only been going out for a little less than a month. So why do you feel so distraught?

“Nothing, why?” you respond to her.

“Well, you’ve been a little quiet since you came home a few days ago and you’ve been kind of down. Did something happen?”

It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts. Thinking back to the argument you and Jake had, you about the things that he said and you realize how stupid this whole argument is. Another thing you realize is that your family does not know that you have a boyfriend.

“Um, I haven’t told anyone yet because I know if I did Mom would freak the fuck out and make a whole scene about it and I’m trying to get away from drama at the moment.”

Mia furrows her brows in confusion and thinks about the things you’ve talked about since you got back.

“What did you not tell us?”

You’re laid on your side on your bed facing away from your sister you reply softly in a small voice “I have a boyfriend”. You say it in an almost whisper she almost doesn’t catch it the first time. “You have a what!”

Sitting up from your bed frantically you put a hand over her mouth and shush her. “Be quiet! I told you mom doesn’t know yet and I don’t wanna tell her until later”

A smile creeps up on her lips and she starts to scream. She quickly lowers her tone when she realizes just how loud she’s being. “Oh my God, what’s his name? How did you guys meet? How long have you been together? OH! Did you guys do it yet?”

Her constant questions get you to burst out laughing. You miss when you were able to tell her everything that goes on in your life. But that changed when you went off to college and she started working and started a family.

“Oh god, Mia, calm down please. I’ll tell you everything later. But right now I’m kinda in a rough situation.” You continue to explain the whole argument to your sister and she sits and listens to you.

“Is he a fucking idiot? Does he not trust you enough to know that you only have eyes for him? Look, if he doesn’t come up to you and try to resolve the issue between you two is he worth pining for? Is he worth your tears and your energy?” Before you can respond to her she cuts you off before you can get your first word out

“No, I didn’t think so. Think about it babe you’ve only been dating this guy for how long and he’s already messed up because of something stupid,”

“I know, but what I feel for him is real. It’s so real to me that it scares me how much I care about him” You can feel tears well up behind your eyes. Thinking this deeply about your feelings toward Jake makes you realize how much of a constant he has become in your life. You don’t remember living life before you met him. And that scares you.

“I want this to work out for us. I’ve never felt this way for someone before. He makes me feel so happy,” This comes out in a small voice. You have never been this genuinely happy with someone before

A beat of silence passes as Mia tries to accumulate her words. She sighs and places a hand on your shoulder. “Babe, I just want what’s best for you, you know that. If you think waiting for him is the right thing to do, then wait. If he ever hurts you and makes you unhappy I swear to God call me and I’m bringing my ass down there to kick his” Laughing with tears in your eyes you pull her in for a tight hug.

“I will, I love you”

“I love you too, sis”

The drive back from the airport to your dorm was awful. Cars piling on the road from coming home from holiday ended in unbearable traffic. You had caught a cold from your niece and the weather didn’t help with your symptoms either. Sunoo offered to pick you up, but you declined his offer because Jake had said that he would be picking you up from the airport. Now you are starting to regret your decisions. You hadn’t heard from him in a while. Before the argument he had told you he was coming back the day before you. So, you had some hopes of meeting him when you first arrived home. But to your dismay, you were met with an empty drop-off area and baggage claim. You had to lug around your suitcases until you finally found an Uber driver.

When you reach your dorm, you’re met with a bouquet of magnolias lying next to your door. Dropping your bags on the floor you pick up the flowers in search of a note. It looks like it’s been here for a while. Some of the pedals are a bit wilted but still pretty, nonetheless. A small white piece of paper is found in the middle of the beautiful flowers. Putting your hand in to fetch it out you unravel it and read what was displayed.

My baby, I’m sorry for what happened before we parted. I was being immature, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry for ruining your Christmas and not checking up on you. Just know that I was thinking about you during the time we couldn’t spend together I just felt so guilty for the way I acted I felt I didn’t deserve to talk to you yet. I’m ready to talk whenever you want to

Please call or text me when you get these. I’m sorry.

- Jake

The words written on the piece of paper pull on your heartstrings. You truly did miss him. He went through the trouble of buying you flowers and writing a note? Opening the front door to your dorm you pull your things in along with the flowers inside. Your heart nearly jumps from your chest when you hear rustling come from your desk. The body perks up and turns to face you. Jake had been sitting there since the day he came back from his hometown, waiting for you to come back home to him. He stands there taking in your presence. He had missed you, so much. Slowly walking over to you, not sure whether he’s allowed to touch you.

The tension between you seems to have dissipated from the time you’ve been apart. It’s quiet. Waiting for him to speak up. Waiting for him to apologize for what he’s done. Waiting for him. Dreading the days to see him again and reconcile your damaged feelings. Finally, after what felt like hours but in reality were only a few seconds. Jake finally pulls you in bear hugging you tightly as if he hasn’t seen you in years. He buries his face into the crook of your neck and inhales your scent. Oh, how he’s missed you. His arms tighten around your waist when you slowly bring your hands up to his shoulders.

“I missed you, love” he whispers into your cold skin. You sniffle due to your cold but also due to the tears you feel once again. The touch of his breath against your skin makes chills run up and down your body. You had been pining for him for days now. Finally, in the arms of your lover, you begin to feel a bit at ease. But you still felt uneasy not talking about the issue that has occurred between the two of you.

“I’ve missed you too,” you say in barely a whisper. He pulls away and he stays close to you. His hands are on your elbows, and he looks down at you. His brows slightly fall when he hears your nazely voice. He places his warm hand over your burning skin. “Did you catch a cold?” he says in a worried voice. Moving your hands, wrapping them around his wrist you calm down his worries. “Yes, but I’m fine. Nothing but hot soup will cure me” you say with a small smile on your face.

After, getting changed into more comfortable and clean clothes Jake wraps you in your blanket on your bed and sits by your side as he nurses you back to health.

“Did you see my note?” His head down in shame as he waits for your answer. You only nod your head in response. He’s playing with the sleeve of your sweater and looks back up at you again. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry I acted the way I did. I was being stupid, and I had alcohol in my system and I was thinking straight.’ It’s silent before you say anything. Thinking about what to say to his apology you look up at him and try to read his expression.

You could see the sorrow in his eyes; those cute puppy dog eyes that you’re so used to seeing everyday. He had a look of defeat on his features. You’ve never seen this side of him, this vulnerable side of him. Speaking up you say, “Jake that doesn’t give you the right to assume things about me. Do you not trust me?” he interrupts you in the middle of your speech. “I do trust you, my love. I just don’t trust him.”

“Baby, the only person you should be trusting is me, okay? I’m your girlfriend. I’m the one you should be trusting, not him. For us to work there needs to be trust between the both of us. If you can’t do that then there is no us.”

This makes his heartbeat pick up. Of course, he trusts you. But the way that Jay had kept his eyes on you the whole night just made him so angry that he started to blame you for reasons that he didn’t quite understand. He wants so badly for this to work out between you two. You’re impossibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he moved here.

Frantically, his grip on your sleeve becomes a bit tighter. Like he’s scared if he doesn’t hold on tight enough you’ll dissipate into thin air “I do trust you, baby, believe me I do. Okay. Can we please just forget this whole thing? Will you accept my apology? I miss you.” he moves his hands up from your wrist gently grazing your neck until they land on your cheeks. The look in his eye is now desperate. He needs you in his life, just like you he can’t recall living his life before he met you. He can’t screw up now. Finally, nodding your head he smiles that big smile that he always sports and pulls you in for a kiss.

Finally, things are back to the way they were for now.

Classes have started up again but thankfully your professors have taken it easy on you. The downside of this new schedule is that you haven’t gotten to spend as much time with Jake as you had before. With his schedule being completely different from yours you always manage to find time for him. He told you he was going to start being a better boyfriend for you ever since that fight. Often you would come home to takeout on your front door handle with a little note that he would write for you.

It was nice coming home to little things from him. The only times you got to spend time together was when he would come over when the both of you had a clear schedule. That time spent with him was your favorite.

Sitting at your desk, you hear keys jingle at your door. You gave Jake a spare key to your room whenever he felt like coming over, to save you the trouble of having to get up from your desk and answering the door yourself. At this point, he was living with you. He spent most of his time at your dorm while you were at classes and barely any time was spent at his. He had made your home his home. You would sometimes come home to him snuggled in your blanket asleep. Of course, Layla was cuddle next to him

You can hear his footsteps from behind you as you work on your laptop. Feeling his hands wrap around your shoulders and his face leaning into the side of yours, you can feel your heart rate pick up. Everything has gone so well between the two of you. It almost seems unreal.

He pecks you on your cheek and snuggles himself into your side.

“What are you doing, love”, turning your head to face him, you smile deeply at him and peck his lips. Moving your attention back to your laptop you reply back to him “Working on this midterm paper. Classes have been so hectic I barely have time to take a break.” Upon hearing this Jake reaches his hand over to the screen of your laptop and shuts it closed, you turn to him with a look of confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you a break” A small grin placed on his face, and he brings his face closer to yours. He places his soft lips against yours and moves in slowly. His hand is under your jaw caressing softly. He pulls away and looks into your wide eyes. “I’m gonna draw you a bath relax a bit baby you’ve been working hard for the past few weeks I haven’t seen you step away from your work once. How does that sound?” he tells you softly. “ You’re right, hmm. That sounds amazing thank you, baby”

He turns and makes his way to your bathroom. You hear the faucet of the bathtub begin to run. Jake’s phone was left next to where you were sitting and it’s only then that you hear it buzzing with a notification and your heart sinks for a moment. The name read ‘Amelia’ honestly, the only friends you have on campus are your best friends and Jake. You have never heard of this name before. Even in your lecture halls you have never once heard of this person. The name doesn’t ring a bell. But in order to also make a relationship work you need privacy, so that’s what you do. You ignore the constant buzzing of his phone and walk over to the bathroom where Jake is waiting for you

The sound of the water sloshing and the steaming bathroom make you feel warm inside. Jake’s sitting at the edge of the tub waiting for you to finish up in the other room. Your hand falls to the hem of your shirt and you slowly glide the fabric up your torso. Next, your sweats fall along with your panties. Jake sits as he watches you undress yourself. He can feel himself grow hard and his pants become unbearably tight. He suddenly stands up and takes long strides walking over to you. His hands land on your naked waist and you look up at him and bring your hands to the clasp of your bra. Finally undoing it Jake’s eyes fall to your soft breast. Nipples perking as your chest is hit with the slightly cold air in the room. You can see the drool fall from his lips.

“Why don’t you join me?” you raise a brow at him; teasing him. Immediately he tears his shirt and pants off as he guides you to the tub. Lifting his leg to get in first, he takes your hand softly and guides you on top of his lap. You can feel his hard cock against your thigh. His arms wrap around your middle, and you can feel his lift place soft kisses on your shoulder. His right arm manages to take hold of your tit and the other slowly glides down to where you need him the most.

His hand grazes your thigh and you shiver at the touch. The kiss on your neck makes you sigh out in lust. You have never needed him so badly; completely forgetting everything that’s happened in the last twenty minutes. Finally, his finger makes contact with your clit rubbing figure eights. Whimpering his name in a low breath makes him even more wired.

“Yeah, baby? You like that? Huh?” He says into your ear. Licking up to your jawline his plants kisses just beneath your ear and back down to your neck. The wet muscle circles as he sucks and bites with his teeth. Placing a love bite on your skin leaving a mark. His finger enters you slowly; you let out a low moan out of pleasure. His speed begins to pick up as he adds in another. Pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. His right arm moves across your chest, so your tits are pushed up against it.

“Oh my god, Jake. You make me feel so fucking good” You moan into his ear. With that, he turns you so you’re facing him now. “Fuck I can’t. I need to be inside of you” His hand wraps around his cock. The tip is red and throbbing you can see his veins. Stroking it once, twice, he teases at your entrance. The sloshing of the water is the only sound heard in the bathroom from your squirming. Sliding his cock between your folds; you look down at where you connect and moan his name. “Please, I need you in me. Need you to cum in me, Jake, please” you beg for him.

At this, manhandling you so your turned to him. Chest against his and he finally enters you. The stretch of his cock has you whining from how good he feels. The feeling of him inside of you has you starstruck. You’ll never get used to the way it makes you feel. His hand finds the bottom of your ass and he moves you up slowly. Your hands wrap around his shoulders as you dig your face into his neck. “Move. Please” you plead into his burning skin

“If you say so,” he says in a teasing voice. He bounces you on his cock and he meets you halfway. You bite onto his shoulder to muffle your sounds. You get enough noise complaints from the students in the building, you don’t need another one. The pace is fast, and animalistic, you can feel him prod deeply into you. He can feel himself in your stomach. He brings your hand to where he can feel himself inside of you.

“You feel that baby? So fucking deep in you I can feel myself” Moaning louder you can feel the burn build up in your tummy. Your thighs begin to burn and your hold on his shoulders become tighter. You feel yourself cum all over his cock. And with three last thrusts, he paints your walls in white as he finishes inside of you.

Sitting in silence, catching your breaths and coming down from your highs his hold on your waist tightens as he lifts you from the tub and grabs a towel to clean you off. His cock softens inside of you; you moan at the loss of being connected to him. Jake walks you to the bed and lays you down. He places a small kiss on your neck and tells you, “I’ll be right back” You smile at him and watch him walk away. But you see him grab his phone and look at it.

The unfamiliar name drags you back to that feeling from earlier.

Heeseung was back from his trip, and he invited you over to catch up on recent events of each others lives. Being apart from your best friends made you realize how much you’ve missed them. You sat on the couch as he was getting something ready in the kitchen. “Hey, how was the trip?” you ask him. He walks back with a tray in his hand and places it in front of you. It was an assortment of snacks he had brought back from his hometown.

“It was good, Lina’s doing good. I haven’t seen her in so long I missed her so much.” Lina, Heeseung’s girlfriend of almost a year, they met through you. She had asked about your friend and wanted to know if he was single. You put them on a date and, bam, they’re in a long serious relationship! Simple as that. It’s good to hear that she’s doing good. You hadn’t seen her in so long.

“Ahh, I miss her too. I haven’t talked to her since the last time I saw her. That was probably before summer break this year.”

Heeseung changes the subject to you now. “So, what’s up with you? How’s your family? I know you haven’t seen them in a while either.”

“They’re great. I got to see baby Aria again. She’s grown so much and she's walking now” You smile thinking about your niece.

Your phone suddenly buzzes with a notification from Sunoo.

Sunoo: Hey, wya rn?

Me: At ur place why? Did something happen?

Sunoo: Meet me at the café in 5 min

The serious texts makes your heart beat pick up. What happened? Did something happen to him? You look up to Heeseung and his focus is on the TV now. “Hee, I gotta go. Sunoo said he needs me for something” you tell him.

“Oh okay, what happened” He watches as you rise from your seat and collect you things to leave.

“I don’t know he won’t tell me. I’ll talk to you later” bending down to peck his cheek you place your bag over your shoulder and leave through the door. Hoping nothing bad has happened to your friend

After almost crashing a dozen times you make your way to the entrance of the café. Sunoo is sitting at one of the tables in the back waiting for you. He has a drink next to him and your usual next to the seat that’s supposed to be yours.

“Hey,” you greet him. He looks up at you with a look you can’t explain.

“So are you gonna explain to me what’s going on or what, your text earlier scared the shit out of me and I’m still a little on edge so can you please hurry and explain what the hell is going on” you say with a faux small on your face

“Hey, I’m sorry if I freaked you out but I need to tell you something.” He pulls his phone out from his back pocket and shows you a picture. You can feel your heart stop to your stomach. The color completely drains from your face as your shaky hands reach out to take ahold of his phone.

Displayed on the screen is a picture of Jake, with his hand on a girl’s waist, and they seem close to each other. You scroll, and there’s yet another picture of them. He’s smiling at her, and his face is close to hers nearly lips touching. The tears that swell in your eyes threaten to spill out. You can barely make out words to say. Completely in shock of what you see. It’s your boyfriend and a girl that isn’t you in his arms. You want to scream at the world for being so blind to this. You want so badly to hit something. You need to get out of here

There’s no way. He said that he was going to be better, and he said that he wanted to make this work. How could he betray you like this?

You stand from your seat abruptly making the chair squeak against the floor. Eyes fall on you as you quickly grab your things.

“Sunoo, I need to go,” you say in a small voice. He nods in understanding, and you rush towards your car. You look down at your phone and see his name pop up on your screen. ‘Hey baby wya? I miss you.’ the text reads. This only makes you angrier. You need to calm down before you crash and get into an accident.

The next thing you know your at his apartment complex. You walk up the stairs and storm into his living space. Jake jolts in surprise and looks at you. Fiery in your eyes you make your way to him and push at his shoulders, hard. “How could you? You said you were going to be better. You said that you wanted this to work” You pushed him again. “Why would you do this to me?” your lungs begin to burn from the constant yelling. Pushing him after each word your tears falling from your eyes. The pounding of your heart is heard in your ears. You’re screaming at the top of his lungs waiting for him to explain.

“Baby, what are you talking about?” He takes hold of your wrist trying to calm you down. Again, pushing him away you retaliate and keep your distance from him. His act only pushes you to the edge “I saw the pictures, Jake. I’m not fucking stupid” He can feel his heart drop when he finally realizes what you’re talking about. “I can explain”

“No, what is there to explain? I could see how close you were to her and the way you held her. You’re supposed to hold me like that. Not anyone else!” you yell at him. Hurt and anger are laced in your voice. “I need to get out of here,” you say in a quiet tone. Digging your hands in your hair, frustrated with yourself, with Jake. He tries to reach out to you, but you only push him away.

“Don’t touch me,” Pushing him back harder he stumbles back. You make your way to the door and walk back to your car. It’s silent. Unleashing the pent-up emotions inside of you; you sob into your hands. Your head begins to ache because of how much you cry. Your head hits against the wheel as you begin to shake from anger. You’ve never hurt this much. All your love was wasted into something, someone that wasn’t willing to give you that same love back.

The feeling of your phone buzzing in your pocket grabs your attention. Lifting your head you pat your pockets searching for the device you turn the screen over to read the name of the incoming voice call. “__?”

“Sunoo” you sob his name out

“Can I come over?”

It’s been a few weeks since you last spoke to Jake. Your phone has been blowing up with texts and calls from him. Telling you how sorry he is; that he needs to talk to you and that he messed up. You can’t bear the thought of talking to him face to face. Thinking about him hearts you as much as he already has. Sunoo and Heeseung drop in every other day, taking turns to make sure you were okay and you were eating properly. It hasn’t gotten easier, but you still managed to get out of bed and get to class.

As usual, you almost end up falling asleep in class from the sleepless nights. It’s not until you feel a tap on your shoulder that you perk up. Turning around you met face-to-face with a familiar face. Jay? Was that his name? You can’t be bothr to remember the face of the one person that started the argument between you and your ex-boyfriend. His chin is lying on his arms resting on the back of your chair. “Hey,” he says in a whisper, trying to keep his voice low. Rolling your eyes you look away and try to focus your attention back on the lesson. Without realizing the time class was over.

Heavy footsteps could be heard from behind you. Jay appears on your side and he places a hand on your shoulder. “What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and your boyfriend” Looking at his face makes you feel disgusted. Only reminding you of one of the worse times in your relationship.

“Hey, hey, hey” placing his hands in front of you to stop you in your tracks. From the corner of his eye, he can see Jake, throwing daggers at him. Jay looks down at you and pulls you in. His lips barely touch you before you shove him away. “What the fuck, Jay?!” Before Jay could look back to see Jake, he had already fled. “What? It’s not bad to switch it up sometimes. Plus I heard that you’re not with Jake anymore. You know, moving on is a natural thing to do after you break up with someone” he says with a smug look on his face. “Fuck off asshole”

Shoving his shoulder as you walk past him. Tears start to stream down your eyes as you pick up your steps through the halls to make it to the library. You had a shift today after school. When you walk through the door you half expect Jake to be there. Seeing his usual seat empty your hopes are crushed. You forget why you’re even in the situation that you are in with him for a moment. Everything begins to come rushing back. The girl texting him things a girl shouldn’t be texting a guy in a relationship. You can’t even begin to see him the same way you used to see him.

Pushing everything to the back of your head you sit down and wait for people to come up to the desk and help them out. Hours after your shift started Jake walks through the doors, with a neutral look on his face. Not with that usual happy look on his face radiating joy. You haven’t communicated in any way for weeks. He walks over to his usual spot. He only looks at you for a split second before he looks over to the manager, fixing the used books on a cart.

“Hey, um, Jungha, can I talk to you for a second?” With a shake of his head, he motions his head to follow him to the door behind the desk. Following him with your eyes, you begin to wonder when your shift ends. Being stuck here with him for the next two hours is going to be hell. You called in sick for about two weeks. Jungha was nice enough about it and let you off and give yourself some time to heal. About 15 minutes later, Jake walks out of the room but he doesn’t stop at his usual chair next to you, no, he walks to the door and leaves. What? Did he take the day off or something? You shouldn’t care about what he’s doing with his life, but you do. How can you not? You were in love with him. You still are. Holding back your tears you turn your attention back to your work. Your phone vibrates next to you, Sunoo texts you asking if you want to come over. You look over at the clock and realize just how much time has passed. Your shift was ending in a few minutes. Texting Sunoo back, you collect your things and shut down a bit earlier today. You walk out the door and call Sunoo to tell him you’re on your way.

Jake hadn’t come into work for the last couple of days. You had secretly been waiting for him to walk through the door but his cute puppy dog-like eyes haven’t made their appearance yet. Lazing around at your desk with your head held in your head and making little doodles on the piece of paper in front of you. Jungha catches sight of your dull expression and he places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“I need to tell you something.” This gets you to perk up. Did something happen to him? “Uh, I know that you guys were together and he told me not to say anything to you but you were going to eventually figure out eventually why he isn’t here anymore.” he pauses.

“The reason why he wanted to talk the other day was because,” he takes the seat next to you and looks down at his hands. “He said that he wanted to quit. He couldn’t sit here for hours knowing that you guys wouldn’t talk. And just to let you know these are his words not mine. He also said he couldn’t stand the fact that he wouldn’t enjoy being here knowing that you were angry with him.” All this new information brings new emotions. Did he quit because of you? If anything it should have been you who should have quit.

“Oh” is all you say. What else are you supposed to say? You don’t want to seem pathetic for crying over your ex-boyfriend in front of your manager, that would be too embarrassing for your own good. You shake your head and get back to drawing your little doodles. Trying to distract yourself the best you could. You couldn't handle the thought of not seeing Jake anymore at work. Not seeing him at all.

At the end of your shift, you make your way to Sunoo and Heeseung’s place. You can’t bear the thought of being alone for the night; you need the comfort of your best friends. You open the door with one of the spare keys they had given you when they first bought the place. To Heeseung’s surprise, you make your way over to him on the couch and plop yourself down face-first on the other couch. “Hey,” he says with his furrowed brows. Placing a gentle hand to the back of your head.

“You okay?” Sitting up properly you shake your head. After hearing all the noise from the living room Sunoo emerges from his room and finds you sitting on his couch. “I don’t remember inviting you over” He says in a joking manner. You look over to the voice of your best friend. “Stop acting like you don’t love having me over” He rolls his eyes and walks to the kitchen to grab a snack.

“How do you feel today? You look even more down than you do most days. Did something happen?” He speaks from behind the fridge. You wait for him to turn the corner so you don’t have to yell. You don’t want them to get a noise complaint because of the shouting. “Jake quit at the library because of me,” you say blankly. Some silence passes and Sunoo shoots from his seat on the couch. “Is he out of his goddamn mind? Why did he quit? It should have been you who should have quit not the other way around. What the hell? He wants to die because I swear to God the last thing he’ll see is my fist in his face”

Looking at him with your jaw slack after the long rant you just witnessed. “What the hell are you looking at? I’m being so real right now. What makes him think he needs the time away from you after what he did to you,” The room goes silent. The only sound reverberating through the room is the TV playing the back. Heeseung sits watching the scene, completely in awe of the way that Sunoo is acting. And then out of the silence, Heeseung bursts out laughing. Then you’re in tears of laughter. Sunoo looks at the two of you like you’re the ones that are crazy. “Look I’m just stating facts if he wants to be a little pussy then he can be one but I won’t have my best friend looking dumb because of some guy that she met not that long ago.” This catches you off guard. Sure Sunoo never genuinely liked Jake.

But he tried his best for you. Because he wanted what was best for you. But this was drawing the line. “What are you talking about Sunoo? Do you have any idea how happy I was when I was with him?” you begin to argue. The laughter has far died down. “Yes, I understand that but look at the condition he left you in,” he exclaims. “For fucks sake you had to take two weeks off of work because of that asshole. You weren’t eating properly, fuck you weren’t even taking proper care of youself” You’re left speechless. You want to believe that there is still something there. Even after everything that’s happened, you still have hope. “Maybe I should just talk to him about it because he never even gave me an explanation because I walked away” Raising from your seat you walk towards the door.

“I just want what’s best for you” Sunoo speaks from behind you. “I need you to completely understand what you’re getting yourself into. I don’t want you to walk into a toxic factory and get yourself stuck in something you can’t get yourself out of” This tugs at your heart. You know that Sunoo talks from his heart, he’s only looking out for you.

“I love you so much Sunoo, but I know if I don’t do this and get the closure I need I’ll eventually lose my mind” The only thing he can do now is shake his head. “Okay, if anything happens call me” His steps are slow and he takes you in his arms for a tight hug. You shake your head and agree to call him. You wave at Heeseung and make your way out of their dorm.

Your next destination is your ex-boyfriend.

Jake was lying on his bed scrolling through new job listings. He needs to somehow find a way to provide for himself. A soft knock is heard from the front door. It was nearing almost midnight, he furrows his brows and pushes himself off his bed. Who could be knocking at his door at this hour? There, you stand with a confident look on your face, hair wet from the pouring rain. “__?” You can see his tired eyes his phone clutched in his hand. “What the hell are you doing here” the anger in his voice brews confusion in your head.

“I need talk to you” you say in a stern voice

“There’s nothing to talk about. I need you to leave” He slowly begins to close the door in your face but you refuse. Moving your hand forward you place in front of the door. Your legs have a mind of it’s own as you push past him into his apartment.

“What are you doing? There’s nothing to talk about”

“There’s everything to talk about Jake,” you exclaim. How can he say this? Your phone has non-stop buzzing with notifications from him for the past few weeks and now that you are here there’s absolutely nothing you can talk about? Now you’re confused.

“I came here to talk to you about that fucking girl in your phone. Who the fuck is that, Jake?” He runs his hands through his messy hair and begins pacing around the small living room. You can start to feel that sharp feeling in your chest. You start to stress over the fact that he hasn’t begun to explain himself at all.

“Fucking answer me Jake, who is that” Tears begin to form in your eyes again.

“You’ve been begging me to call and text you back. Now that I’m here, standing in front of you, ready to talk, you’re silent now. Now answer me who is that girl?” The built up tears are now streaming down your face. You begin to feel frustrated with him. With yourself for not being able to communicate how you felt all those weeks ago

This gets him to start talking. His eyes widen at the thought of never being in contact with you. He cannot begin to think about life without you.

“Okay! Okay, she’s this girl that I met over break while I was away in Australia. We were broken up–”

“We were not broken up Jake, we were in the middle of an argument and we were heated. We never broke up or even said the words ‘break up’. Just because we were in an argument means that we’ve broken up? That’s not how relationships work. Not with me”

He stands there, only staring at you, trying to process the words that slipped from your lips. Angry tears slide down your cheeks.

“Okay,” he says in a low voice. This somehow fuels the anger you already feel. The single word only infuriating you further

“That’s all you have to say? ‘Okay’?” Your voice begins to raise. “You are so pathetic” you say in a low voice. Turning in your spot you make your way over to the door to leave. Before you could reach the handle his hand grips your wrist and pulls you towards him. His soft hand lays on your cheek, his lips land on yours. Then, you feel something wet on your cheek. He’s… crying? Your lips move softly against his. All of these strong emotions make you sob against him.

He pulls away and rubs his thumb over your cheekbone. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m tired of fighting with you. I swear I didn’t do anything with her. We just talked and that’s it. I would never hurt you in any way.”

You fail to believe a word he says. “You wouldn’t have hurt me if you’d have understood our situation during that argument. You wouldn’t have hurt me if you just kept to yourself and hadn’t talked to her,” you say against his lips softly. You pause before you begin again.

“You wouldn’t have hurt me if you would have just trusted me, Jake.”

He leans in a kisses you again. He makes his way down to your neck and sobs. “I’m sorry, honey. Please, please, please forgive me. I’ll never hurt you I promise. I can’t live without you. I need you” His words are intoxicating. Something about him always seems to pull you in. And you can never escape him. His hands find their way under your shirt and land on your waist. He pushes you against the wall and he lifts your shirt from your body.

Then your bra is off. The cold air that hits your perked nipples makes you whine. You wrap your hands around his neck. Your fingers find home in his messy hair and you tug as he sucks on your bottom lip. He lifts you off the ground and carries you to his bedroom. Slowly, he lays you down on his soft bed. From the hem of his shirt, he lifts it over his head. His abs are out on display. He finally leans down and takes your nipple into his mouth. Gasping from the pleasure. His hands fall to the waistband of your jeans.

He pulls them down along with your panties. His fingers find purchase on your clit. Moving in small circles. You moan into his mouth and this turns him on even more. “Let me make you feel good. You deserve the most out of everyone. Let me show how sorry I am, baby”

Kissing down your stomach he places small kisses over your pelvis. His lips hover over your clit. His breath hits your cunt. Whimpers fill the quiet room. The first touch of his tongue sliding through your folds. “Agh, Jake” He wraps his arms around your thigh pulling you closer to him. Your right hand digs into his hair, tugging.

The vibrations of his moan send shivers throughout your body. Your other hand tugs at your nipples. Pushing yourself up from the bed and looking down at him. The sloppy sounds reverberate in the small room. You can feel your juices slipping down from your pussy. His thumb presses harsh circles over your clit. “Yes, yes, yes!!”

His sweats begin to feel uncomfortably tight. Moving against the bed to relieve himself. Palming himself through his pants. He moves to plant wet kisses against your thighs, making his way up. Face to face with him now, he rubs his nose softly against yours. Smiling against your cheek, he moves his finger to your red and swollen cunt sliding through your folds. His finger finds your entrance, slowly sliding in.

You gasp against his mouth. Pulling him in to taste yourself on his tongue. “Yeah? You like that? Am I making you feel good, love?”

“Mmmh, yeah, you always make me feel good” wrapping your arm around him and playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. He leans down to capture your lips, teeth clashing together, his tongue tasting you. His pace begins to pick up. You start to feel that burning sensation in your lower belly again. He knows when you’re about to finish. “Gonna cum on my fingers? Go on, show me how good I make you feel” he says in a low voice. The rapid rolling of his thumb on your clit tips you over the edge.

Jake pulls his fingers to his lips, wrapping them around his digits. “You taste so good. Just as sweet as I remember” Looking up at him, you desire something more from him. “Fuck me” This gets him wild. Standing to quickly pull his pants along with his boxer off. His hard cock hits his lower abdomen. You drool at the sight. Reaching out to take him into your grip. “Wanna suck my cock? Hmm?”

Looking up at him with a sultry look in your eyes “I want you to fuck me, Jake” you say in a soft voice. Smiling down at you he pushes you on your back, his bog body hovering over you. “I’ll do whatever you ask me to,” Taking his hard-on in his hand, giving himself a few strokes before rubbing himself against your spent cunt. “Fuck, oh my God” your eyes roll to the back of your head when he slowly lowers himself to you. Connecting your lips.

Entering you, taking his time with you. Sliding his hand into yours, grasping yours pushing it to the side of your head. His pace starts slow, and passionate, he’s sticking to his word about taking his time with you. “Faster” you whisper in his ear. His soft lips grazed your cheek, his breath hitting your ear. He places his hands on your waist and turns you onto your stomach.

Wrapping his arms around your front to hold you up. Quickly stroking himself, then entering you again. “C’mon baby, come for me. I know you can” The pleasure becoming too much with his pace. He’s fucking you hard, sloppy, messy, just like you asked. It all becomes overwhelming and you finally come all over his cock. Heavy breathing and panting fill the room once again.

After some seconds of catching your breath, you lie on your back, and Jake finds comfort on your chest. Staring at the ceiling everything starts to come back to you. The fight that lead you to this point. You realize that you didn’t do what you came here to do. Softly stroking his hair you speak up in the silence that you're left in. “Jake” you call out for his name. He moves his head to look up at you, humming in response. “What’s going on between us?” You’re left unanswered for a while. To be honest, you aren’t sure what you’re doing here, lying in his bed. Inhaling deeply he rises from your body and walks over to his bathroom.

He comes back with a wet towel in his hand and walks back to your lying figure on his bed. Gently parting your legs he wipes down your swollen cunt, being careful. You twitch slightly from the sensitivity. “I want us to be okay” he finally says. “I don’t like fighting with you. It breaks my heart knowing that I put you through hell and I’m not there to help fix it” throwing the towel into the basket next to his desk.

“If you want this to work,” you look at him. He stares at you waiting to hear the key to win your heart over again. “I want you to trust me. And you need to prove to me that I can trust you” you say sitting up and pulling his shirt over your head to cover yourself. Nodding immediately he pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, tightly. “Okay, I promise. I promise I’ll never put you through that again. I promise I’ll do everything I can to prove to you that I care for you, so much.” Only looking at him as he speaks.

“Baby” Jake has been spending most of his time at your place. Barely spending any time in his own home. You don’t see it as a burden, but you do feel like he’s only doing it to make up for his past actions. “Let me take you out,” He says as he lays on your chest, pulling your hands to run through his soft hair. “Okay, what do you want to do” looking down softly at his face. His hands hug tightly around your waist as he digs his face into your soft stomach.

“There’s a carnival downtown. We can go there, if you want” He waits patiently for your answer looking up at your face, glowing in the sunlight peeking through the blinds. “Yeah, we can go there” you agree. Jake excitedly pushes off the bed and walks over to the drawer where he has kept some of his clothes.

After the both of you finish getting ready you walk out of your dorm and walk down the steps. Hand in hand you begin your journey into town. Everything in your town is within walking distance, something you loved about it when you moved here. It was midday and shops were busy, everyone hustling to get everything they needed for the upcoming holiday. Being even more busy with the carnival in town.

A flower shop catches your eye, letting go of Jake’s hand you’re drawn to the pretty flowers of spring. When you walk into the shop you are instantly hit with the smell of flowers. Racks are filled with lively green plants, some tilting over their pots from being overgrown. This is one thing you will forever cherish in life. The life of growing plants. How they always manage to come back to life even after not being properly taken care of. The strength they have to keep going

While you were away admiring the beauty of the flowers you’re surrounded by, Jake walks up behind you. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he pulls from behind his back a small bouquet of magnolias. He must have bought them while you were distracted. Turning in his arms you wrap yours around his neck pulling him in closer to you. “Thank you, they’re beautiful” He places a small peck on the juncture of your neck. “Of course, baby. They’re beautiful, aren’t they? They always remind me of you”

Your lips form a small pout. Standing on your tip toes to place a delicate kiss on his lips. Sometimes his compliments only causes your heart to stop beating for a moment. Walking out of the flower shop you notice the sun beginning to set behind the busy town. “The carnival should be starting soon, we should get there now before it starts to get crowded.” He tightens his grip on your hand, making sure you don’t get lost in the crowd of people and guides you to the noisiest part of town.

The lights of the lively carnival glow brightly in your eyes. Hand clutching Jake’s in excitement, he looks down and smiles brightly back at you as you walk ahead of him. Impatiently running towards the game booths you pull him by your side, a way of telling him to hurry his slow pace. “Hello! Come on up and win a prize. Two balloons will get you this teddy bear,” The booth worker pulls out a small teddy plush from behind the counter, “Or~ Pop six balloons to win this plush!” he says with much enthusiasm. The man points to a bunny plush hung above the other small prizes. Jake steps before you and pulls out a ticket he had stored in his wallet. “How much?” Digging through the pockets he takes a few out to hand to the man. You watch as they exchange items, Jake holds ten darts in his hand and watches his aim. Throwing one of them, the loud pop of the balloon makes you jump slightly.

He goes on to throw another and another, until he gets down to his last dart. He misses, but he still manages to pop five balloons. “Congratulations! You’ve won yourself one of our small prizes, if you’d like to give it another go please come forward” Jake reaches his hand out for the small teddy bear and politely declines the man’s offer. He turns around to you, pushing the small plush into your arms. Looking down at the plush and up to him, he watches as a small smile grows on your lips. He wishes he could capture this moment and paste it into his head for the rest of eternity. Your illuminated features make him go crazy, making him experience feelings he’s never felt before.

Before he could say anything to you, you pushed off your heels to kiss his soft lips lovingly. “Thank you, baby” Grabbing his hand again you proceed to look around at the carnival. Lights are strung along different booths, the sound of children laughing can be heard all around, and the warmth in your chest begins to bloom. Feeling that warmth radiate off of you, dispersing among the many young souls surrounding you. Tugging Jake closer to you, once again pulling him with you, you point at the ferris wheel gesturing to the ride.

He agrees and lets you drag him towards the spinning wheel. The operator opens the door for you when the wheel comes to a stop. Jake steps in first and grabs your head to help you in. The ride begins to move again, the cold wind blowing through your flowing hair brings chills up your arms. Goosebumps appear up and down your arms. “Are you cold? Here,” he moves forward to take his jacket off and places it around your shoulders. The fabric engulfs you from how big it is compared to when it was wrapped around Jake’s body. “Thank you” tugging it closer to you.

The wheel stops at the very top; the view is breathtaking. But something else catches Jake’s attention, the way you look out over the town. The lights of the buildings of the town make it seem more alive. Something about that makes you feel content with where you are now in life. Moving forward for once instead of back. Turning your head to look at Jake again you find him already staring at you; admiring you. Your face falls into the palms of your hands as your cheeks turn red from embarrassment. “What?” he laughs. Moving his hands to pry your hands away from your face.

Peeking through your fingers you see his radiating smile. A soft giggle makes its way out of your mouth as you look at the adorable sparkle in his eyes. “Nothing, I just got shy” This gets him to laugh, pulling your cold hands into his warm ones on his lap. “There is nothing to be shy about, baby. It’s just me” Looking into his deep brown eyes, butterflies erupt in your belly. “That’s why,” you say. He looks at you with confusion written on his face. Your hands hold on to him just a little bit tighter. “Because it’s you Jake. You make me feel so many different things at once sometimes I refuse to believe that you’re real to me” laughing slightly. Jake still has no idea where this is coming from.

“I love you, Jake,” you say under your breath. The look in your eyes is close to pleading. Waiting for him to say it back. He only looks into your eyes until the ride comes back to life the grip you have on his jacket only becomes tighter than before. Your knuckles are white and crescent moons are indented into your skin by your nails. The ride stops at the bottom and the worker opens the door for you once again. You stay there for a moment until you realize that you are holding up the line. Thankfully, the worker was patient and still waited for you to exit the cart.

You can hear your heart pumping at a rapid speed in your ears. Throwing the jacket off of your shoulder you flee from the cart. Leaving Jake, by himself in utter silence. He feels frozen in his spot, not able to move. “Sir? We have other people waiting” Snapping out of his daze he collects his things and leaves, completely left in distraught.

Running, you can barely see. Your eyes clouded with tears, streaming down your face. You needed to get out of there. Tripping over a small rock you hiss out in pain. Looking down at your scraped knee you you cradle it in hopes of making it feel better. But you know it will do nothing. Nothing hurts more than how you feel right now.

He didn’t say it back.

He didn’t say it back

Like a broken record, it repeats in your head. Jake doesn’t love you back. And there’s completely nothing that you could do about it.

It’s been weeks since the carnival, and you haven’t heard anything from Jake since then. Not a text, not a phone call, not even a note. It’s like a never-ending cycle, just like Sunoo said. You can’t seem to find a way to escape it. Just like the last time you hide yourself away from the world. But only this time it’s worse. Your phone has been buzzing with notifications but from the person you’ve been pining for the most. Sunoo can’t help but be worried about you.

He’s been calling every day but he can’t get a hold of you. Avoiding your phone is the best option for now. Distancing yourself from anyone who has a connection with Jake is in your best interest. You can’t risk bumping into him, just the thought of his face further hurts your aching heart. Standing up from your bed you walk over to the kitchen to eat a somewhat decent meal. You’ve been rotting away in your bed for days now, being productive for just one day would be a step forward in healing.

“I don’t know what to do” The small cafe is close to empty, with only a few people sitting at tables scattered across the area, it’s well early into the morning for anyone to be out and about. Jake’s hands are connected to the top of the small table. One of his many friends, Sunghoon, is sitting across from him. Receiving a call from Jake he woke up bright and early to help his friend deal with what he considered ‘a major crisis’. “Well, do you love her?” The question is simple. But Jake can’t help but dwell on it for a minute too long. “I don’t know” Staring into the table as if his answer would show if he looked just a bit harder. Sunghoon sighs out of frustration, Jake has been a complete mess ever since you told him you loved him. Stuck in his own head, guilty, frustrated, regret spiraling through his body. You don’t deserve any of this. You deserve much more than what he has to offer. Malicious thoughts consumed his head.

“I think you should talk to her, man” Sunghoon finally speaks up in the quiet space. “She deserves closure, at the very least tell her how you feel for her. You can’t leave her hanging like that, I know that it’s crushing you from the inside that you can’t talk to her,” He’s right. He knows that he’s right. He hasn’t even tried to reach out to you in the weeks passing. “I know, I just can’t bring myself to face her knowing how much I’ve hurt her”

“Take a chance, talk to her.” After a few minutes of thinking, Jake nods his head. “I’ll see you later Hoon,” Before he could turn to leave he looks back to Sunghoon. “And thank you” Giving a tight lipped smile and a slight nod of his head he says “Anytime” The jingle of the bell on top of the door rings. Jake determined to talk to you and fix whatever he caused.

Loud banging resounds through your dorm as you were about to curl up in your blanket. “Go away Sunoo,” you yell in hopes of ridding him from your door. “Let me in” Your heart drops when you hear that familiar accent you were used to hearing all those weeks ago. Immediately shooting from your bed you grab your sweater and slowly walk over to the door. Watching your hand reach for the doorknob as if you were put into slow motion. Turning the handle, you look through the small crack of the door. Sad eyes meet yours.

The door now fully opened, Jake’s tall figure towers over yours. Eyes pleading you to let him in. “Hi,” comes from his mouth, the same coming from yours. “Can I please come in?” Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and slight anger. “Why? There’s no reason for us to be together, not anymore” You begin to close the door but he arm comes out to stop you.

“Please, __. I need to talk to you” The tone in his voice is desperate. Reluctantly you agree, stepping to the side you watch him walk past you into your living room closing the door and following behind him. It’s silent for sometime, arms crossing over your chest you grow impatient. “You said you wanted to talk, so talk. If not I’d really like for you to leave-”

“I’m sorry” Finally, after what felt like an eternity he speaks up. “I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. I am so sorry I’ve hurt you in so many ways you and I’ve been nothing but shit to you” his voice breaks. A burning sensation builds up behind your eyes. Swallowing thickly he continues “You deserve nothing but love in this world and I can’t give you that. I’m messed up,” roughly pointing to his head. Tears streaming down his face. “I want to give you all the things that you deserve but I can’t do that because I don’t know how,” You flinch at his rising tone. You stand still, all you can do is listen to him.

“I want so much for us to work, baby but I-” He holds his hands out. Pleading for you to reach out to him. Quickly, taking a step forward you pull him into your arms. Your tears fall over him as he tightens his grip on you. “Shh, it’s okay. I can help you, but I need you to let me help you” you say calmly into his ears. Your shirt dampens as he sobs. His hands clutching onto you as if you’d disappear.

“Let me help you”

Separating from your body he looks at you. Sadness seeps from his eyes, and sniffles are the only thing heard in the small living room. “Let me love you, and when you’re ready you can do the same” Searching for anything, you hold his face and bring him down to your lips. Kissing his lips softly you pull away and lean your forehead against his. Sending him a loving look you look into his eyes, “Will you let me?” Nodding against you, you pull him in and he stuffs his face into the crook of your neck, softly kissing the skin there.

The sun is shining out in the warm summer air. Jake wanted to take you out once more before he had to head back to Brisbane. He had been planning to spend a few weeks there during the summer. Talking about those plans bring you back when you and him were in bed, hot skin against each other. Relishing in one another “I promise I’ll take you there, one day. You can meet everyone. My parents have been dying to meet you, you know,” Smiling at him his eyes seemed to be focused on your hands playing with his. “I’d like that” you say with a small giggle.

You wish for that day to come soon, but you will just have to wait. Right now, you want to focus on the last remaining time you have left with your boyfriend before he’s off boarding a plane and wishing him a safe flight. That’s something for you to think about in the future. But this is now, he’s brought you back to the very first date he took you on. The magnolia forest, it looks much different than how it did in the winter. They look much more lively, swaying the slight breeze mother nature is kind enough to give them.

You both stop at the bench that brings you bittersweet memories. Sitting down, taking in the fresh air of summer, Jake watches you as if you’re some goddess sent down from heaven. Feeling his stare on you, you turn your head to catch him in the act. “What?” a smile appearing on your beautiful face. “What? I can’t stare at my girlfriend that I won’t be able to see in a few weeks? I need to take in how beautiful you are in person. I mean, I’ll only be able to see this pretty face over a screen,” he glides his hand down your cheek resting it on the nape of your neck.

“Ugh, don’t even remind me. I’m gonna miss you so much” pouting at him. He laughs at your adorable face and leans in to place a peck on your pouting lips. “I’m gonna miss you too, baby. More than anything” You can see a sparkle glow in his eyes as he scans over you face. Leaning in once again to kiss him. But this time, the kiss is full of passion, love. Pulling back your faces inches apart, you sigh as you open your eyes again to face your lover.

“I love you” Your breath hitches in your throat. The biggest smile grows over your features. The foreign words escape his mouth, smiling proud of himself to express his unconditional love for you. “What did you say?” you sit up from your slouched position on the bench and turn your body to completely face. “I said I love you __, so much” Throwing your body as him you smash your lips against his. He can feel a smile grown against his lips.

Finally, words are written on paper. This is your beginning

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