#''what do you want first: dick or fangs'' <- an actual line from the book that made me LOSE MY MIND

[agnesandhilda]

I got a vampire erotica audiobook on libby and it's not a good book per se but by god is this voice acting funny

[tharacelehar]

"you've never met anyone worth a damn, then"

Okay I started talking about this on Twitter but I can't with Twitter character limits. So onto tumblr it goes. Honest to god my absolute favorite scene in OFMD is Lucius drawing Fang. Every time I rewatch I'm struck by how sweet it is and how sincere it is. That one Daily Dot article goes into a lot of why from an Izzy context that scene is critical for the show, but I want to talk about from an Ed/Stede context, because this plotline actually parallels Ed and Stede in a lot of ways.

So when Ed and Stede meet, we get this shot of Stede in distress, and Ed staring down at him, politely curious and fascinated by him, though he's not exactly hauling Stede up or trying to perform any first aid--there's a definite tension in this scene. (hit my image limit and I can't post Stede being half-dead, because all the other images are my favorites so that one didn't make the cut)

When Lucius and Fang start off this scene: we have Lucius in distress, and Fang looking down at him, with the opportunity to lend a helping hand, though he, too, is not exactly rushing to Lucius's aid--he's actually there to stop Lucius from climbing back up.

Lucius sees an opportunity, and shoots his shot.

Then there's a cute kind of reversal here, in that where Stede was flattered by Ed's attention when Ed rescues him, Fang is flattered by Lucius's and Fang rescues Lucius. In both cases, we have this very brief flicker of interest (and oh wow, sidenote, it's so much fun to say that this MEANS SOMETHING, it's genuinely not just me imagining things, this is a genuine spark of attraction between each of these pairs) where one person says to another person, I see you, I'm interested in you. And there's a very sweet response in both cases. It's relief, it's joy. Stede smiles, Fang laughs:

And from here in both cases, we get a flip to see what it is that Ed and Lucius see. In Ed and Stede's case, of course, it's all of Stede's fine things that he loves so much. In Fang's case, it's, um, his dick, but that's okay! It's okay to want to be admired and to be seen as sexy. Because Ed and Lucius see Stede and Fang, they know what the two men want. Ed seeing Stede's model ship and his books and loving them is so deeply paralleling Fang saying "no one's ever taken an interest in my form before." Where Stede has been a subject of mockery, Fang's been essentially invisible. And yet both of them here are being appreciated, and they open up to it.

The next scene in both cases--hey did you think about how Lucius always does his drawings in Stede's quarters? I didn't until just now--takes place in Stede's room. (Why Stede's room? If I were to guess, it's because it's where they can be themselves, where we hear the words "what if piracy wasn't a culture of abuse?" It's full of comforts and fine things, and it's beautiful and well-lit, it's everything that Blackbeard's own ship is not.)

It's where Stede and Fang are both seen and admired for the first time. Stede takes Ed on a tour of all of his things, and Lucius sketches Fang, and then there's this line--

Stede and Fang have never met anyone who appreciated the parts of them that Ed and Lucius are appreciating right now. In fact, in Stede's case, everyone who comes in mocks him immediately. It's just... this line is so good. It's so sweet.

And then, in both cases, there's a definite exchange happening. Stede discovers that Ed fancies a fine fabric and that Ed is tired of pirate life, even as Ed thinks he's there to observe Stede, and Ed discovers what he wants--he wants to retire. You can't just look without being observed yourself. And Stede offers to help him get there, by the end of the episode!

Lucius sketches Fang, and Fang gets to be the center of attention, admired by Lucius and Wee John, and dish all the dirt on Izzy. (Lucius is a little bit more deliberate than Ed--Lucius knows exactly what he's doing here, and does it on purpose, but, and this is key, it doesn't derail the sincerity of the scene! Because Fang is still Lucius's friend, even after this point. Fang's not being taken advantage of here, and he will continue to help Lucius later on, when Lucius's finger goes septic.)

The article goes into Izzy's response to Lucius and Fang really well in-depth, so I won't. Suffice to say that Izzy is horrified in both cases by the fascination. But where Ed lies about it ("I'll kill him in order to let Blackbeard die so I can retire") in order to keep doing what he's doing, Lucius is honest with Izzy, yes, he drew Fang and it's fine, and he wins, that's our foreshadowing. These connections are going to save them. Izzy's powerless here. Not only that, but he's powerless because Fang's trust and appreciation for Lucius gives Lucius info that he needs in order to drive Izzy off.

Of course, Ed and Stede don't have that chance. Ed's still trying to reconcile those two parts of himself--Blackbeard and Ed Teach, and Stede of course fails to maintain that connection the way that Lucius and Fang do, there's a panic that happens and the trust is shattered. But the thing is: Lucius and Fang showed us it CAN be done, that the power of admiration, trust, and genuine connections can save the day. Hopefully Stede and Ed find that out next season too :)

[cursewoodrecap]

Session 23: Medical Ethics

Y’all ever been to college?

Our new friend Vigdor has just pulled a pale, twitching human leg out of a poster tube, sheepishly admitting to Valeria that it’s his own.

Valeria blinks at it. “Well, it doesn’t appear to be bleeding demons, so that’s good?”

Shoshana sticks her head in the door, and has to pause to take in the sight. “Uh, bruh? Bruh? I have questions. Is that yours? I mean, like, yes, you HAVE it, but was it attached to-“

“That’s a bit tricky? It was amputated twice.”

“Twice?!”

“Once from me, and then, well, um. Once from an amalgam of sewn together body parts?”

(Gral and Shoshana pile into the room, because Oh, Lore?)

“When I was in the swamp, we were fighting a bunch of zombies led by this particularly nasty undead guy. We called it the Wailing Wight. At first it was just the usual undead hordes, but then a local leatherworker was found, torn apart and harpooned every which way, half his limbs torn off and stolen. After that, we started getting attacked by stitched together abominations cobbled together from human and animal pieces. I was there just trying to help the villagers, being a doctor and all. But that’s when I lost my actual limbs.”

“They got stolen, like the leatherworker’s?”

“I had to chop them off. Which, for the record, is not a fun time? The Wight’s harpoon has a kind of poison that rots everything it touches. So I had to amputate or, like, die. So I cut them off and his zombies, uh, stole them. And I managed to get one back? Kind of a long story. I don’t know how I recognized it, but – I guess I know my own leg like the back of my hand? Now I’m taking it back to Sturmhearst. There’s a weird fluid inside it; I want to study what’s going on with that so we can take care of the nastyboy in the swamp.”

“Well, I am generally against nastyboys,” says Shoshana, poking his foot in the ticklish bit. It squirms at her.

We’re headed to Sturmhearst anyway, so traveling together seems reasonable. We think about taking Fun Key Shortcuts, but that could backfire spectacularly, so we’ll play it safe and go the normal, boring way.

In the morning, we head downstairs. The inn is trashed. The stalwart barkeep Rene is not there; instead there’s a young elf sweeping out what debris he can. As we grab breakfast and the young fellow thanks us over and over for saving his friend’s life, Vigdor awkwardly wanders around casting Mending on chairs and tables that got a little too close to the tentacles and chainsaws. Shoshana doesn’t really do non-destructive magic, but she slips the barkeep some gold for repairs.

Vigdor’s too lopsided for a horse, so he’s gonna hop on in our cart. He’s very taken with the Eyegis, poking at it with fascination. “You can see the blood vessels in the eyes, despite no source for a blood supply! Do they have tear ducts? Have you ever seen the shield produce tears? Can you make it cry?”

Valeria gets very uncomfortable with this line of questioning and turns the eyes back into painted ones, put off by a Weird Stranger gettin’ all up in her business. Gral distracts him by asking about his fancy metal limbs.

Vigdor goes full technobabble on how the runes and machinery work. “Well, there’s three different kind of magical actuators on each joint, and they act as conduits for the dilithium crystals-” He knows the details secondhand from Bjork and none of us speak robotics, so if he ever needs serious repairs he’ll have to bring them back to Sturmhearst for the engineers to take a look at.

Valeria knows a bit about Jotunn runesmithing, but she’s never heard of it working to this degree of precision; before, she’d only heard of stuff like boats that row themselves, or a peg leg that has a little extra articulation. These are fully actuated limbs!

Val checks if the limbs are the same metal as our space wrench, but nope, they look like completely normal everyday metals. She’s not gonna inspect further, because she has RESPECT, unlike SOME people.

(“Hey, I didn’t try to pry the eyes open or anything!” Vigdor protests.)

She does notice one thing, though: Valeria recognizes runes from most magic systems even though she doesn’t know them well enough to use; her sister studied magic for a long time, so she knows what they look like. There’s one elaborate rune that appears on both Vigdor’s forearm and leg that is of no origin she’s ever seen.  

“How long’d it take Bjork to build this thing?” Shoshana asks, squinting at Vigdor’s kneecap.

“Well, I was unconscious for a good bit of it so…between a week and 2 months? He was already working on it when I, uh, had to amputate.”

“…did you KNOW you were gonna wake up with those things on?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. It took a while ‘cause the original blueprints they found were for somebody, like…really short for a human or really tall for a halfling? Something in between. Bjork had to resize the whole model to fit a human.”

“He, uh, FOUND blueprints?

“I can’t imagine he’d have made blueprints for a person who didn’t exist? It was all proportioned very strangely. I don’t know too much about it, you’d have to ask Professor Bjork.”

(One of the players asks if the strange rune, perhaps, says ISTC in a language the characters don’t know. It DOES, and we’re all very pleased with ourselves for previous-campaign references.)

The long road stretches on before us, and we have plenty of time to talk as we spend a week or two heading north toward the coast. We fill Vigdor in on the four flavors of Curse and the concept of the Prisoners, and that we suspect there’s major Key nonsense going on up at the university. (Heh heh, “major key.”)

Vigdor and Shoshana bond over being locals. Why are foreigners so weird about trolls?

Vigdor really, really wants to look at Twombly’s glasses. We explain to him that the Key could take his desire for knowledge and turn him into a cackling, dimension-hopping madman with a few extra eyeballs. He still wants to play with the glasses. Valeria protectively hides the Key map, just in case, flashing her Hunt fangs at anyone who asks about it.

After like a week of pestering everybody, Vigdor gets to look at the glasses. Disappointingly, when not looking at the Key map, the colorful lenses just make everything look slightly more those colors. Maybe Gral’s lutestrings look weird, but that could be the placebo effect. He tries flipping around the many lenses in different combinations, and finds that all of them make him look absolutely ridiculous.

Eventually after many days of travel, we can smell the ocean and the distinctive stench of a large number of humans living in one place. Vigdor takes in the familiar sight of his college hometown. Shoshana is dumbfounded that this many people can live on top of each other, while Valeria thinks it’s a quaint little town.

Up to the west, Sturm Castle squats on a cliff above the city, like a big hippo of knowledge. It looks like it was once a reasonable castle shape, but it’s had new wings and towers built onto it haphazardly until it’s a weird sprawling network of jammed-together architecture. By the edge of the cliff, in one of the more sensibly-built sections, a majestic lighthouse beams out over the bay. In the city below, the largest building appears to be a grand temple, with its roof carved in the shape of an open book. The perimeter of the city is outlined by strange wooden and metal towers, two or three stories tall with conical brass roofs.

Eh. It’s only got one castle, so it can’t be that good of a city compared to Aurentium.

Our cart is briefly stopped for a quick examination at the gate by a friendly city guardsman. He’s flanked by two of the same enormous owl-masked guards we saw accompanying Quercus and Ulmus. “Hi, welcome to Sturmhearst, folks! What brings you here?”

We all awkwardly try not to look at Vigdor’s leg bag.

“I’m, uh, here to visit Dr. Emily Thorpe?” he tries.

“Oh, visiting the university. Don’t need yer life story. Where you stayin’? I can recommend some inns. Oh, and check out the Scholar’s Temple while yer here!” He hands us a brochure from the Sturmhearst Tourism Board and steps back. “ALL RIGHT BIG GUYS, LET EM THROUGH!”

The owl guards don’t move.

“Oh, uh, I mean –“ He fishes in his pocket and pulls out a whistle. “Lemme see if I can remember how the doc told me to do this.” He blows a few sharp notes on the whistle, and the owl guards promptly step off the road to let us through.

Huh.

Vigdor makes an investigation check on those guards, who definitely weren’t around back when he was in school. They’re pretty bulky for humans – no, honestly, they’d be bulky even for goliaths. He’d heard a story from Professor Bjork that the school was hiring goliath mercs and dressing them in owl masks, but the professor had sounded like he hadn’t believed it much. Supposedly they’re silent because they don’t speak the language, but Vigdor’s pretty sure Bjork speaks Jotunn, so that excuse doesn’t quite hold up.

Once we’re out of the guards’ earshot, Gral pulls a huddle. “Vigdor, the Key’s a more recent influence, so let us know about anything new or significantly more abundant – that’s where we’ll need to search.”

Vigdor hmms. “The big brass towers weren’t here before. And the owl guys didn’t used to be a thing.”

Gral cuts another glance back to the owl guards, considering. “…How much of a faux pas is it to remove a Sturmhearst person’s mask?”

“I mean, if you’re dealing with the plague, it’s kind of a dick move? And dangerous? But most people – it’s like, the same rudeness of grabbing someone’s hat or jacket. For some people it’s badge of honor or superiority, y’know, how amazing they were to get through the gauntlet of Sturmhearst. But mostly it’s a practical tool of the job. We’re not, like, afraid to show our faces.”

Gral nods. “So you wouldn’t have to duel them, then.”

“W-what?”

“Oh, with bards it’s like ‘you are not deserving of your title’ and you have to duel about it. You know, like, how dare you slander my name, I’ll have to fight you for my honor?”

“Oh, uh, no, nothing like that. The mask is proof of office, that’s all.”

Before we get investigating, though, it’s late and we should rest. Vigdor wasn’t a palling-around-town type, but he rolls a nat 20 and knows the best inn in the city – not one of those touristy places on the square; the best-kept-secret on a side street that only the locals and regulars know about.

We have a lovely night around the docks of Sturmhearst. Shoshana spends like fifteen minutes just staring out to sea, because they MAKE boats that big???? This much water even EXISTS????? There’s a dragonborn ship from Aurentium, a goliath ship from Jotunhein, a couple of Galwan freighters, and even a ship crewed by colorful macaw aarakocra. (History check: while the Aquilians mostly died out, some of the ground-based aarakocra cultures survived. Valeria’s met macaw traders before in Aurentium; they tell lots of stories and do GREAT impressions.)

Valeria, meanwhile, holies some ocean water. They say Galwan clerics swear by holy seawater; salt repels demons, right? It’s gross harbor water but, whatever, it’s holy now. She also beats a sea captain at Man-go, presumably dock style. The inn’s equipped for foreign travelers, so it’s got a whole bar of draconic and goblin spices!

Gral, meanwhile, discovers the inn is near a bath house and enjoys finding out what a sauna is.

Morning comes, and Sturmhearst U awaits. Vigdor knows the main campus has the colleges of Engineering, Science, and Medicine, while the satellite campus across the bay houses the college of Ethics, which includes humanities like economics and history.

Valeria rolls for Order of the Rose knowledge. The Order actually has an arrangement with Sturmhearst when they’re working in Valdia – whenever the Order is sent on disaster relief, some Sturmhearst ethicists are sent to help coordinate. Valeria’s never worked with them personally, but the impression she’s gotten from her fellow knights is Not Great. From what she’s heard, they’re supposed to do triage and help direct the knights, but it seems like they spend the whole time sitting around debating absolutely horrible things. “Hey, if we brewed up some necromancy, could we use the skeletons of plague victims to transport supplies without spreading the infection?” Apparently they just sit around in corners debating whether that kind of shit is kosher or not, without ever actually DOING anything.

Also ethicists wear white instead of black like most Sturmhearst scholars, which is just pretentious. We then poke fun at an Order of the Rose knight calling anyone else pretentious.

Vigdor studied at the College of Medicine; he’s a doctor. But that’s not where he’s taking the leg.

“Why not Medicine? I mean, it’s a human body part, innit?” Shoshana asks.

“It’s…I have some concerns…regarding the, um. So, along with this leg, my arm was stolen, right? Not long after the arm was stolen, the sewn-together amalgams got a lot, uh, cleaner.”

We stare at him.

“…as if whatever stitched them together had my medical training.”

…oh.

“I’m a little hesitant taking that info to the College of Medicine,” he admits.

“Why?”

“There’s a lot of ‘for the greater good’ stuff with the College of Medicine sometimes. The College of Ethics keeps them in check. Anyway, there’s actually this thaumochemist I want to take a look at it.”

(We’d know the discipline as alchemy, but she hates that. She’ll go on a whole tirade about it. Somebody yells “Full Metal Thaumochemist” and we accidentally take a commercial break. We’ll never get tired of that joke.)

More of those owl guards are at the door, supervised by a businesslike white-coated member of the College of Ethics. His mask is a bit more abstract than the ones we’re used to; not modeled after a bird face like the regular scholars’. He lets Vigdor in with no problem, though he’s a bit suspicious of the rest of us. We’re with a doctor, though, so he’ll let it slide. “Welcome to Sturmhearst, may your visit be enlightening.” He does the same whistle we heard before and the guards step aside. Gral’s a string guy, he can figure out the notes easily enough but he doesn’t whistle.

“Nothing goes on here without Ethics knowing about it, huh,” Gral observes.

More owl guards are stomping around, some carrying heavy objects. Vigdor knows where he’s going, but asks an owl guard for directions, as an experiment. The owl guard doesn’t even notice him. He steps in front of the guard, who just steps around him very politely.

The castle is a nightmare to navigate, like Hoeska, but we have an expert tour guide. “The old keep, the part that used to be a castle – that’s where all the 101 classes are and the whole working hospital. All the additions are laid out super weird, and then there’s the tunnels underneath. The Chem students had WILD parties down there, they brewed up all SORTS of stuff. The lighthouse is a real lighthouse, but it’s also where admin is, and the dean’s and headmaster’s offices. Oh! DO NOT cross the librarians. Each college has its own library? Like, theoretically they share the whole collection, but which college keeps which books is kind of a blood sport…”

Shoshana and Gral hang back, feeling out of place. “Bards don’t really have a college, exactly?” Gral explains. “It’s more of a pilgrimage. I met the elders of each village and they imparted wisdom upon me?”

Shosh feels like an uneducated hick even by that standard.

We take a hairpin turn in one of the Science buildings and run into Professor Quercus! Or at least someone with a bird mask and a similar voice, chatting with some other masked scholar. “Ah! Yes! We made a lot of excellent discoveries before we started to run into problems – you see, there hadn’t been an event in some time, but if we could get in there to the source, we could really – well, my goodness! These are the people I was telling you about, who gave me such wonderful notes!” Quercus turns to us, sounding rather delighted. “I certainly didn’t expect to see you here. Welcome to the world of knowledge! What brings you here? I thought you were having adventures and derring-do!”

“Well, it turns out our adventures led here!” Gral tells him.

Quercus nods enthusiastically. “I’d show you around, but I rather need to speak to the bursar! If you need anything, I’m sure you can find my offices without too much problem. And please, if you’ve encountered any interesting monsters, I’d love to hear details! Especially if you have samples!” Despite his keen excitement, Professor Quercus rolls a four and fails to notice our Shusva accessories.

“If you ever need a cup of tea and a biscuit, you’re welcome to stop by my office! I’d be more than happy to speak with you! And if you could do me a favor – well, I wouldn’t mind having you with me when I speak to the bursar! See, our expedition to Holzog has hit a bit of a snag. The events with that mist stopped happening, you see. Luckily, we managed to identify which house you were going to, and we were all set to investigate, but then the Baroness put a squadron of those damnable Condotierri to prevent us getting in – “

Gral shrugs, deliberately casual. “I don’t know why you’d go back; there’s not much to see besides what’s already in the notes.”

(Vigdor immediately rolls insight to see if Gral is lying. Unfortunately for him, bards are excellent liars.)

“Anyway. The bursar’s giving me an earful about continuing to fund the expedition. I’m considering withdrawing from Holzog and asking him to redirect the funds into a different project! For example, lots of interesting monsters have been seen around Barroch lately!”

Yes, definitely, we want him to go somewhere that’s not a Tempting Key Portal. Valeria and Gral tag-team Persuasion checks to sell him on interesting cases of monsters we’ve heard of around Barroch. If we’re fuzzy on the details – well, all the more reason to have someone get out there and take a closer look!

Quercus is rather taken by the idea. “If you would, Mr. Duu –“

“Um, actually, Duu is the tribe, my family’s name is-“

“-yes, if you could write me some letters, I might find it useful making the acquaintance of the locals while setting up camp. Sturmhearst hasn’t established an official relationship to your people yet’”

Gral agrees to write up a formal letter explaining the mission of Sturmhearst and the expedition to make introductions a bit smoother; the word of a bard will go a long way in gaining the cooperation of the orcs of Barroch. He’ll do a personal letter of introduction for Quercus, and a general letter to Shieldeater’s administration to explain who the heck these weird bird people are.

“Wonderful! Bring it by my office!” He gives us directions that make NO sense to anyone but Vigdor. We’re pretty sure several of those compass directions aren’t real words?

“Oh, and if you see an angry tall woman stomping around, tell her I’m not here! She’s mad at me for some reason I can’t discern. Good day!”

He scuttles off, presumably to hide.

We definitely want the gossip on that – Ulmus was mad at him about funding, and she definitely dissed his field of study. Is this what academia is like?

Vigdor confirms that the professors have all kind of weird beefs, interdepartmental politics, and personal feuds. “One of my professors gave me a B- in amputation – shows what he knows – purely because I was taking some classes outside the College of Medicine and he got all offended. It’s a lot of politics and bullshit, they’re all more concerned about their careers and publishing than actually important stuff.”

We find a door with a brass plaque: Dr Emily Thorpe, Thaumochemist. There’s a paper list tacked to her door with a list of courses: “Intro to Potion Brewing,” “Principles of Alchemy Thaumochemistry”

Vigdor knocks. “Yes, who’s there? Come in!” a voice calls.

“It’s Vigdor! Vigdor Gavril!”

“Ah, Vigdor!” A halfling woman in the requisite bird mask waves from behind a counter where she’s handling a set of proper Movie Science bubbling beakers and flasks. “Yes, you sent me that letter! You had something ‘interesting’ for me!”

“Yes, and you will see why I couldn’t be more detailed!”

She notices his metal arm as he starts pulling open his heavy waterproofed case. “Oh! I heard that Professor Bjork was giving you his prototype! How’s it working?”

“They’re loud and heavy and uncomfortable sometimes, but I have limbs! Can’t complain! But then I, uh, found one of my limbs again.”

He goes over to an open table and pulls out his entire-ass leg with a flourish, plus vials of hair and blood and strange unidentified liquids. Her eyes widen.

“Ah, this is yours!” She watches his toes wiggle. “Well, you don’t see that every day.”

“Yeah, I found it stitched to some kind of unholy undead abomination.”

“And that explains the Knight of the Rose. Hello, Kyr.”

“Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service!”

“Dr. Emily Thorpe, at your service as well, I guess? Pardon the mess in my lab, it’s not much but it’s home. Hand me that vial?” She pulls out a syringe and takes a sample of not blood, but oily black liquid, from the leg. “It will take some time, but I can write up a thaumaturgical profile without much difficulty. Do you mind if I keep it?”

“You can hang on to it. But I would appreciate discretion.”

“Yes, this will stay between me, your friends, and – oh, this is Hugo, he’s my teaching assistant. He’s been helping since the school was mobilized.” She turns to Vigdor’s clearly uneducated hick friends (not you, Valeria, you’re very fancy) and explains:

“In times of crisis, the University turns from education to innovation. Were this a disease, we’d be researching cures! If demonic, we’d be researching weapons or dimensional banishment. We haven’t really received direct orders this time, so everybody is doing their own thing, which I can’t say I mind. Mostly I’ve been helping other researchers with the practical application of their theorems.”

She scribbles out a hasty list. “Hugo, if you can go to the library and put these books on order? The Vigmar and the Auspelius especially would be useful, but don’t let the librarians kill anyone over them. And the Principles of Advanced Anatomy – tell them I won’t ask. But I do need it.” The grad student nods and hustles out of the room.

(Shoshana insights, out of paranoia. Hugo’s a good egg, though he might refer to thaumochemistry as alchemy.)

“Now, Dr. Gavril, do you want this leg back? How intact-“

“Want it back? Like, in the abstract, or on my body?”

She pulls out a vial of bubbling acid. “I’d like to put some of this on it and I’d like to see what happens.”

He blanches slightly. “Uh. Um. I have some proprietary-“

“Aw, no acid then,” she grumbles, stowing the acid with an audible sigh.

“Only do something you would do to living person’s leg. That they would survive!”

“How would I know? I’m a chemist, this is only, like, my second dead person!” She pauses. “…well, fifth.”

Shoshana starts looking around at all the alchemy equipment curiously. Everything here is clearly labeled with numbers, and letters that feel like numbers, and complex formulae, which hedgewitch potionery doesn’t really account for.

There’s a knock at the door. “Ah, that must be Hugo. Come in!”

Valeria instinctively body-blocks the leg from view.

It is not Hugo. In walk 3 white-clad ethicists. The gentleman at the front is in fancier robes – we suspect he’s the kind of fellow who has tenure – and he wears a powdered judge’s wig atop his mask. We immediately don’t like it. His two companions peer around the lab – one has a jeweler’s loupe built into the lens of his mask, and the other is carrying a big chime with runes carved into it, clearly a magic item of some sort.

“Dr Thorpe,” the leader intones.

“Sorbus,” she replies disdainfully.

“I see you have guests, is now a bad time?”

“Is it ever a good time?” Emily makes a point of tending to her samples and beakers busily.

“I suppose not. We have come to ask a few follow-up questions. Have you been visited at all by Professor Matthias Macker? Has he followed up on the project you were working on together?”

“I told you, no! I had no potions strong or precise enough for what he needed, and he’s never spoken to me since. That was months ago!”

“And no one has seen him since then. You understand why we need to know what you discussed.”

“Yeah, not since you quarantined the whole surgical wing!”

“That is not what I’m asking about. Has Macker’s assistant Greta Ruble visited you?”

“No. She’s a good kid, though, don’t hassle her.”

“We are simply making sure she is not a danger.”

Emily sputters angrily. “A danger to who?!”

“I cannot tell you that.” He turns to Valeria. “Kyr, it is always a pleasure to see a member of the Order here. I suppose if you’re here we can be assured nothing… unethical is happening,” he says, unpleasantly oily. “I am Professor Rigmor Sorbus of the College of Ethics; I lecture on legal and judicial ethics. These are my assistants, Charles and Pippin.”

Valeria bows with the precise degree of politeness required. “Kyr Valeria Argent, at your service.”

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance. In these times of mobilization, it falls to us as ethicists to supervise our colleagues’ noble efforts. Please, I implore you: if you see anything untoward or suspiciously unusual, I request you report it to the nearest representative of the College of Ethics.”

Emily butts in. “What happened to Eric Pelbort, his other assistant?”

“Mr. Pelbort has transferred to the College of Ethics and is assisting us with some research. We will let you know if that changes.” He tells her dismissively. “Kyr Argent, the College of Ethics has always been proud of our long association with the Order, and I would like to extend our deepest condolences for the tragedy of the Crusade. Should you have need of any assistance whatsoever, do not hesitate to ask. Our offices are on the satellite campus across the bay. If you were to visit, I’m sure many would love to speak to a paladin of the Order of the Rose.”

“We have business here, but I might be able to make time to stop by,” she equivocates.

“Very well. I will let you all get back to whatever it is you’re doing with that leg,” Sorbus says, turning neatly on his heel and taking his leave, his toadies hurrying in his wake.

(Yes, you guessed it: That was Professor Rowan, with his Tort Wig and his assistants Pip Loupe and Chime Charles.)

“Those guys give me the creeps,” Emily grumbles. “They used to be fine, but lately they’ve been doing this whole inquisitor act.”

Vigdor’s always known these guys as douchey blowhards. But now they’re douchey blowhards with AUTHORITY.

There’s always been a divide between Ethics and the other three colleges roughly the size of the harbor! The sciences don’t believe in debate, they believe in experimentation! Anyone who can spend an entire week talking without action is wasting time and breath. The College of Medicine thinks even less of them – they just get in the way of progress!

(IRL we all respect medical ethics, but Sturmhearst WAS founded on a fine tradition of graverobbing and leeches.)

Vigdor is primarily a surgeon, or he was, when he had two fully functional hands. (Two players at once: “HE GOT DR STRANGED!”) He had quite a few classes with Macker, the chair of the surgery department. Most people didn’t like the guy, except his surgical grad students who would defend him to the death. A bit of a hardass about proper procedure, but that’s probably not a bad quality for a surgeon. He was a local institution, so it’s pretty alarming he’s somehow gone rogue.

“His whole lab was quarantined?”

“The whole teaching wing, actually,” Emily tells us.

“Are there people in there? Some kind of sickness?”

“Not that I’ve heard. Ethics just put guards outside the labs and blocked everyone from going in. They’ve done it to a couple places around the school recently. The excuse is that someone was doing ‘unsafe experimentation’ that’s ‘poisoned the area’ or something?”

Wack. “How long have these quarantines lasted?”

“They don’t really end? A couple stopped after a few months, but some have been there for a year! Nobody goes in or out. Sometimes the white coats go in, but it’s pretty rare and they don’t stay long.”

“Is that what all the guards are for? Where’d they all come from?” Vigdor asks.

“Medicine used to be the ones, uh, hiring them.” (A quick insight roll notes that she hesitates on the phrase “hiring.”) “Lots of them still answer to whoever they were originally assigned to. But recently Dean Chidor from the College of Ethics took over that whole program, so a lot of the newer ones answer primarily to the ethicists. I mean, they all dress the same, so it’s kinda hard to tell? I haven’t asked a lot of questions, I’ve been trying to keep my head down since the whole thing with Macker.”

“What actually happened with him?”

“He’d been acting weird for a while,” she confides as she starts sticking pins in the leg and wiring them to a voltage generator. “He’d been working on something, some kind of extreme surgery – I think he was looking into a method of surgically removing Curse corruption. He was hitting roadblocks, though; he called in me and Alma Ulmus, who’s a College of Medicine bigwig.”

“Yeah, we met her in Bad Herzfeld!”

“I heard she’s here again, stalking around the halls complaining about funding. She knows more about his project than I do. Anyway, Macker sent me requirements for a healing potion he was gonna administer as part of some surgical procedure. I couldn’t get anything as powerful or precise as he needed. I’m a thaumochemist; I don’t know medicine that well. So it was beyond me to do that amount of gross tissue damage repair as controllably as they wanted it. I mean, I made some pretty nice innovations as far as the theory of potioncrafting, I’m hoping to get published as soon as it goes to peer review.

“But I couldn’t do what he needed, and eventually I got shut out of the project. Then one day he vanished. Alma set off for Bad Herzfeld and Macker stopped coming out of his lab. His assistants were still going in and out, but not long after that, the ethicists quarantined the place.”

“Has anyone else been quarantined?” Valeria asks.

“People from all three colleges got hit. I dunno about other ethicists, I haven’t heard about them quarantining anything of their own. But everyone else has. A group of engineering students were building a defense system to be deployed out to the Scar, and all of them got quarantined. Here in my department, Dr. Vilman – remember him? Stupid goatee, did a lot of stuff with crystals? – got shut down. Sometimes they quarantine the whole lab; sometimes they just shut down a project and everyone working on it gets a ‘guest lecture position’ over in Ethics. Sorbus said they got one of Macker’s assistants, Eric Pelbort. He had another one, Greta Ruble, but I guess she’s given them the slip.”

Emily’s got experiments to do on that leg, so we’ll let her get to it. As we head out, Gral asks one last question. “What’s up with those guards, by the way? Why do they only respond to those whistles?

“Uhhhh,” she says, as we fail our persuasion check. “They, er, don’t speak very good Valdian. Mostly foreigners, goliaths, the like. The whistles get their attention.”

Gral sighs and doesn’t push it. Vigdor’s already making plans to pickpocket a whistle. Valeria, since she has a direct invite to talk to the ethicists, considers the unheard-of paladin approach of Just Asking Them Directly.

First, though, Vigdor wants to check out the quarantine of Macker’s lab; he knew that professor well, and we’re all curious what’s been going down.

We walk on over to the surgical wing to case the joint. There’s a single owl guard blocking the hallway, presiding over a small barricade. A pleasant sandwich board sign states “Area quarantined by College of Ethics, apologies for the inconvenience.”

We try to walk in and the enormous guard holds out a hand to stop us. Shoshana tries to wiggle around him, like a cat trying to get at your dinner, but he impassively blocks her every move.

Gral tries a smoother approach. He begins with small talk; the guard doesn’t even twitch. He starts asking prying questions about the surgical ward. No response. Fine, then: he switches to Orcish, a sinister undertone weaving through his voice as he uses Words of Terror.

An insight roll reveals completely unchanged body language.

“Either they’re immune to fear or not a humanoid,” Gral reports back. “Not a single emotion. Definitely not goliath mercenaries.”

“Tryin’ to talk your way into the surgical wing?” says another chatty passerby. “Good luck. They got all the medical cadavers locked up in there and they won’t let us in.”

(Cadavers? Oh shit, we bet that’s the guard factory, theorize the players.)

“Oh, are you a med student?”

“Yeah. I work with Professor Herberts, or I used to, anyway. We needed a couple cadavers to do this comparison study about spleens; we got some weird ones from out in the wood, we compare spleens to see if place with thing don’t worry about it; need control spleen. And then these BIG DUMB IDIOTS wouldn’t let us in, and Herbert got transferred to the College of Ethics all of a sudden. He’s been gone a couple months.”

“How long do professors usually transfer for?” asks Gral.

“I mean, they usually pop over to give a lecture or two and come back by the end of the day.”

(Vigdor happens to remember that the College of Ethics also runs an asylum. They live in a big spooky castle and do dissections with guts and stuff, it can do a number on your head! Some of the ethicists have branched into the field of psychology. No reason to mention this when people are having extended stays on the ethics campus, of course…)

The student shrugs. “I gotta get to lecture. If you manage to get in there, any chance you can bring me back a couple spleens?”

We wave goodbye noncommittally, though Vigdor insists he can pop a spleen out of a corpse like a yolk from an egg. He’s a good surgeon!

Anyway, Vigdor went to school here, and the dice are on his side; he knows a side path through an old abandoned classroom into the surgical suite. He pops the lock on the door easily; all the undergrads used to go this way when slipping into lecture late, to get past the TA keeping track of tardies.

The guard is in earshot but facing the other direction, and he’s not even blinking, much less scanning around. Gral casts Silence on us and our very clanky party slips by easily.

Shosh sticks her head into the TA’s office. Nothing really stands out, but she swipes some interesting-looking notes from the desk drawers to look at later.

Meanwhile, Gral and Vigdor go into Macker’s office. The desk is an absolute mess, which is very unlike the guy Vigdor used to know. There are wheeled chalkboards crammed into the office, covered in scribbles and anatomical diagrams. Paging through the notes and glancing over the chalkboard, Vigdor makes a decent medicine check and can at least figure out what problem Macker was working on.

Based on what Dr. Emily told us, Macker’s trying to develop a surgical procedure. The issue is that whatever he’s doing would cause so much physical trauma that it’d kill the patient, and he’s looking for some way to prevent that. There are lists of healing options: formulas, spells, potions, nonmagical stabilization methods to keep the patient alive while various tissues are extracted from the body.

Gral’s unimpressed. Healing methods? That’s pretty tame for forbidden knowledge.

To Vigdor’s experienced eyes, this stuff looks mega-advanced and highly experimental, but Gral’s right – it’s not anything you’d scramble to censor.

Weirdly enough, the place doesn’t look ransacked, only disheveled and a little dusty. Macker’s notes haven’t been moved since he was here. Maybe this isn’t what the ethicists were after?

We head to cadaver storage while Valeria keeps watch. Cadaver storage is creepy as hell, but only because it’s, y’know, a room full of cadavers. A lot of the bodies, kept stable with Gentle Repose, appear to be Cursed, but that’s hardly weird. What’s so crazy they’d keep it hidden from everyone?

Vigdor opens the door to the dissection labs, Gral’s Silence deadening any ominous warning he might have had from the room beyond. Yes, the table here’s been recently used, and the bizarre symbols scrawled on the chalkboards have spilled onto the surrounding floor and walls, but Vigdor’s eyes are drawn to where the chalkboard peels away like skin to reveal a strange, multicolored, impossible space. The floor begins to take the shape of a stone hand that projects out into the shimmering void, joining a daisy-chain of enormous hands that form a walkway out to a marble platform floating in space.

Gral takes his Silence spell with him and runs to get Valeria.

Eyes starry, watching entire worlds and impossible shapes spinning through iridescent mists, Vigdor takes his first heady hit of Key taint.

As we cut session, Valeria considers that the ethicists may actually have a point.

[wildflowerwattpad0217]

Avenging Riverdale: Riverdale x Avengers/ Sweet Pea x OC!Tony Stark’s Daughter. My Reaction After Completing it and A Year Of Working On It.

This will include spoilers to my fanfic her is the link if you want to read it:

Avenging Riverdale

Masterlist

One paragraph is one chapter.

(not a chapter) Im going to be honest, in my mind their are two sections of Avenging Riverdale. Before my Brain Surgery and after because if you have read my fanfic all the way though, Author Notes and all, you know that I had to stop writing Avenging Riverdale for awhile so that I could focus on healing from that.

A trigger warning, good. Two part cast. Prologue. Tally is in deep shit. Steve picked her up and took her hungover ass to the living room. To Riverdale she goes. The horrible fake screenshots. I stopped doing that though because I couldn't find one for a group chat. Her and Tony's fights are rough. She snuck out to a soup kitchen. I feel bad for abandoning that. Cap found out. Tony put a tracker on her. Wtf but they are getting along. Now the Avengers are worried tho. They are shook they are getting along. After her dad became Iron Man things went downhill in her life.

Welcome to Riverdale. 'Murcia is Cap's group chat name. Short Stark is Tally's and Deadpool just got in it. His is World's Biggest Cry Baby. Peter's explanation of how he knows Deadpool is the most Gen Z thing ever. MJ is Tally's Slut. Tally is MJ's Bitch. Hello Cheryl Blossom.

Bucky has been eating Tally's cereal. She's acting betrayed. Veronica is surprised she didn't kill him. She heard someone mispronounce her name. She corrected them. Betty Copper. Kevin Keller. Kevin is fan-girling. She has blueberries. Jade Keller. Jade is trying to hate on her and her family. Cat Andrews. Jade is dragging her by the wrist while Cat is acting like this is a completely normal thing. Andre Clayton. Jade and Tally would've made a great couple. God damn my crush on Malachi and Sweet Pea. Andre is questioning why Jade just kidnapped Thalia Stark amd why she's at Riverdale High. Tally is questioning why there are so many redheads.

Betty warning Tally about Jade. Song writing with her new friends, Jade, Cat and Andre. She's allergic to roses. She doesn't want to talk about her family problems. The Welcome Back Dance. Archie Andrews. Jade and Tally are dancing together. I swear to god my gay-dar is broken. She rejected Reggie Mantle.

MJ being possessive on insta. Thalia punched Reggie Mantle. It's so weird looking back and seeing Tally not know what's going on her mom. Bucky trying to be a supportive boo. The first mention of Nick St. Clair. Her telling Jade what happened. Jason Blossom's body being found.

Omg, I published chapter 5 for 100 reads. That seems so long ago now that the book is almost at 45k reads. Tony and Pepper are getting married.... I didn't get them married until Endgame. Tony and Tally are going to Pop's. She is not at liberty to answer the question of whether or not she jacker War Machine's suit just so he would do the macarena without a lawyer. Bucky, it's her job to make you feel old.

Hydra nightmare. She's talking to her dad about the nightmare. Then she was like now that we had a hard time going down to the basement to tinker. Whether she wants to admit her or not I wrote her a lot like her dad. Malachi. Malachi obviously cares about Tally. Malachi knows that Nick St Clair hurt Tally. They had sex. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't sure if in the end she was going to end up with Malachi or sweet pea at this point I was still debating it. Malachi kept her hair brush.

Tony just apologized to her for pushing. Jade just stole her for a minute. Malachi left hickeys. I love Tally and Bucky's relationship. Tally is Pepper's maid of Honor. Tony's cooking?

Jade now knows about Malachi. Veronica brought roses in his school and Tally starred sneezing. Tally telling Reggie I don't need the Avengers to kick your ass.

Kevin knows about Malachi now. Nat as chasing Bucky. I love how tally is a moderator for these little fights. Tony is going to spar with Tally, he's going to get his ass kicked so hard. Bucky that $50 on tally. Cap betted $50 on Tony saying that her emotions would get the best of her. Tally won. But Tony is blowing it off like oh I let you win. Thalia Stark got a pep rally who would ever see the day. Tally thinks her dad's hiding something from her. Jughead expected her to have a stick at her ass. I love tally I really miss writing her. It's because of lines like Tony Stark is my dad, iron Man's just suit that just really make me miss her.

That was really sweet and it almost made me cry I forgot I wrote that part. Cheryl just got arrested for lying. Tally proving her genius. Reggie asked her on a date.

The Avengers just found out she's going on a date, they're not exactly happy well, the male Avengers aren't especially since she punched the guy in the face. Pepper is getting emotional. Cap answered the door. Mantle is shook. After the date, he dropped her at home and closed the door before he had a chance to kiss her.

Reggie mantle trying to slut shame tally. She is pissed, she ran into that boy's locker room. She's threatening to expose his dick pics. Which he thinks that it matters that she's not in New York anymore when she's the one with all the security clearance and she's Thalia fucking Stark. The extra points she got just because Reggie met The Avengers. Everyone keeps reminding her murder is illegal. Tally wants to destroy his car, Nat is like go for it and everyone's like Nat, no do not influence her to do this. Rhodey it doesn't think Tony should be supporting her in this. She got her revenge. Mantle is pissed, just actually wanted it. Her dad had a screaming match with the principal.

Malachi is starting to miss her. Toni Topaz. Sweet Pea. Fangs Forgarty. FP Jones. Beck Oliver. And Sweet Pea's nickname is born, Sunflower. Toni loves her. Mantle tried to apologize, but it was a shit apology so she blew him off.

The drive-in is being bought. Malachi wants me to come over after school. Malachi asked her out. He's giving her time to think about it. Family dinner.

Really bad nightmare. Then she had a panic attack because of the nightmare. Tony got pops burgers for breakfast.

Malachi and tally are officially in a relationship. The meeting of the New York friends and the Riverdale friends. Her dad's wearing an iron Man onesie. Steve is wearing Captain America pajamas. Clint is wearing a big bird onesie. Her dad is leaving from New York tomorrow to present an invention and wants her to go.

She is staying in Riverdale. Her dad asked her to stay away from The lodges. Tally you telling off Cheryl. Steve you fucking snitch. Talking about Tally's pranks. Peter is worried about her.

The accords. Tony wants her opinion on it. She thinks it's the most stupid idea ever. The governor wants her to sign it but she's refusing to. He doesn't want her to sign it either. She knows more about her mother than he's talking about. Honestly it is so weird looking back at this and having her mom not being revealed like this.

The accords meeting. Tally just walked out of school to be there. Tony knows he fucked up.

Rest in peace Peggy Carter my queen. Yes Nick, help her stop the fight in a Target parking lot. Tally is such a mom. When tally even bosses the King around, threatening to reveal his internet browser history. She just compared them all the toddlers. She just met Ant-man. Ruby Lodge is her mother.

Ruby Lodge also happens to be Hiram Lodge's little sister. Tally was born in Riverdale. I really abandoned the UN plot line.

Her and Jade are going to sing at the variety show. Take A Hint for the audition tho with Mantle in the crowd. Josie wants to talk to her alone. Veronica is pissed she didn't her they were cousins. Dinner party at the Pembroke.

Deadpool. After the variety show her and Deadpool are on the roof eating chimichangas. She's helping Betty look for her sister. She's going to go clubbing with Veronica, Kevin, Jade, and mantle. Cap is really easy lie to. Malachi is there and he's cheating on her.

She called Malachi a dirty mouthed whore. She just got a package from the Ten Rings. PROJECT INTERMISSION. right now she's thinking Hydra in the 10 rings are working together. She can't go to Polly's baby shower because she's doing some investigating of her own.

Soup kitchen talking to the serpents. Tony just asked what's the tea. Tony has so much faith in his daughter taking over Stark industries it's so sweet. Her and Cheryl are starting over because tally gave her some really good advice about being a female daughter getting ready to become a CEO.

Another letter from the 10 rings. Chuck is back. Jugheads surprise party. I forgot I put Cat's bibble addiction in here. The ones that watched Victorious will know what I'm talking about. I think Tally's birthday present is the best one he is received for a while. Cheryl wanted to know about the scars on her back during the game of secrets and she even it was like exposed herself basically she really didn't care though. To the Southside with Sweet Pea.

They really want to challenge Tally at call of duty. They're playing never have I ever. Toni knows about what happened.

Her mom was a serpent, and she went to the serpent's for help. Everyone is surprised that tally is a serpent by blood.

Her father told the truth. Jade scares Joaquin. That's cute, Sweet Pea thinks he can be tally in a game of pool.

She won. And sweet pea is confused why she is open about almost everything but her ex. They had sex. Tally is saying that they can't date because of everything that's going on and she doesn't want to put him in danger. Tally is in deep shit.

Tony and Tally had a big fight. Tony's kind of suspicious of tally right now because she's been acting off. Steve heard something about project intermission. Tally is terrified that Hydra is going to kidnap her.

They're still asking about project intermission. FP was just arrested for the murder of Jason blossom. They're holding an intervention for tally because they're worried about her. Malachi what are you doing there I don't remember this.

He regrets cheating on her. Malachi can read her like an open book. The blackmailed him into cheating. Tally just save Fred's life I forgot that's how she gets kidnapped. Alice Cooper is Thalia's godmother. She's dead. I wrote this and I'm about to cry. Someone stole the body. Project intermission.

Tony freaked out at the mention of the 10 rings. She's alive. The Avengers are finding out what happened with Nick St Clair.

Jade really just spilled everything to them I mean I would too if meant getting my best friend back but still. Tony went to go see Malachi. Malachi said he was more afraid of tally than he is of Tony. But he's still told him a lot.

Tally has powers. Thalia is so sarcastic I love her. Tally was able to send a message to them. By the time they got there the Hydra base was in flames and she was walking out of it. They forced her to go to the hospital where everyone was waiting. Tony tried to keep her in her in the hospital room but she was like no❤️.

The sexual tension between her and Sweet Pea tho. Interview by Sheriff Keller. Welcome home party. The Whyte Wyrm. Sweet Pea wants a slurpee. Toni accidentally ate a weed brownie.

Fangs has skittles in his jacket? FRIDAY you sassy AI. Movie night code red. Tangled vs The Conjuring. Nat has Thor in a choke hold. I always forget that Rapunzel's name translates to Lettuce. They all suggest movies and fight it out. First one is Sweet Pea vs Tally. I FORGOT I BROKE THE FOURTH WALL. Tally won. Tony is having a talk with Sweet Pea. Tally doesn't think Hydra is done. Imma be honest I don't remember most of this because the close it get to when I had my surgery the more fucked my memory became.

Reggie is calling her the walking dead. Swalia date. This is going to be adorable.

The memes tho. They ended up watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Things got heated then Tony texted tally. Her and her dad ended up working on the Impala when she got home. Tally told Reggie to fuck off. Her adoption papers came in so that she will legally be Pepper's kid. Archie's an idiot.

I love Pepper. Sweet Pea and Tally are officially dating. Jade and Kevin are freaking out. Her dad is freaking out not like Jade and Kevin. Cat is pissed at her brother. Bulldogs and Serpents showed up. Jade, Cat, Veronica and Tally stopped the fight. She headed to Sweet Pea's.

My fake insta posts were the best. Beck, Fangs and Sweet Pea just got arrested. Nick St Clair is coming to town. Mantle vandalized her locker. Apparently the same thing happened to her mom. She's not going to talk about Nick St Clair.

Tally telling Archie to keep an eye out for Nick St. Clair. Date night with Sweet Pea. He took he took her their hideout. She's contemplating filing a police report on Nick St Clair. They had sex in a treehouse.

Nick St. Clair is back. Veronica doesn't know shit. She finally told her dad. She going to report him. She told Veronica. Veronica confronted him at the party and now everyone at the party knows. She went to SVU. Then she went to MJ's.

They are going to arrest him at the open house. He has been arrested.

No more secrets? Holy shit. She now knows Alice Cooper is her God Mother. Really Tony? Why did you call her out in front of everyone? You could've just talked to her. He wants her to see a therapist. St Clair had a bail hearing. No bail. Southside High was raided. When he only like Sweet Pea because he's taller than Cap. Tally didn't realize it. Drag Race. Malachi vs Tally. Bucky is so chill about it.

(So Chapter 47. Is the where you guys find out that I am having surgery) Sweet Pea finds out about Malachi. Sweet Pea feels betrayed, angered. They're having a fight. Sweet Pea is afraid that because she kept this one secret EX from him the next thing you know she'll be cheating on him. Tally just told him I don't want anyone else. They said I love you. The drag race. Tally won fair and square but Malachi still thinks she cheated. Tony scheduled the appointment.

Apparently you can't teach Thor how to cook. Tally isn't allowed in Asgard. Tally just called Vision a toaster. And in response Tony said don't call your little brother a toaster.

Family dinner. Everyone is there. Sweet Pea just got there. Thalia is the moderator. Nick Fury scares him. They are grilling him. Mario Kart tournament. Cap won.

Sweet Pea sending her bad pick up lines. MJ approves. Jughead asked for a favor. FP is getting out of prison.  Sweet Pea and Tally are talking about their future. (This is the last chapter I published before my surgery)

FP's retirement party. Tally inviting Sweet Pea to the Avenger's Christmas party and New Years Eve party and everyone else.

Her first appointment. Afterwards she went to the Wyrm. FP wants to talk to her. Tally has a spare key.

Social media special.

Trial of Nick St Clair. He lost.  Southside High has been shut down. Jade's period is late. Jade is pregnant. Welcome to Riverdale High Southside Serpents. Mantle being a dick.

The uniforms. Message from Hydra, her mom is alive.

She's known. (Srry, this is when my short term memory was hell so I don't remember it.) Her mother is a hydra agent and was using Tony. She even talked to her when she was kidnapped. FP isn't happy that Ruby lied to them all.

Sweet pea trying to stand up for tally when Jughead was trying to use her Fame for peaceful protest now that's awesome but Tally's okay with this because it's a peaceful protest and something she agrees with and told him it's okay. They bugged his trailer. They have the tesseract from Odin's Vault testing against Tally's blood panel. It keeps calling her name.

Even though they told her not to tell sweet pea she did. Peaceful protest. The statue had no head the next day and tally woke up with a fever, despite the super soldier serum. And she has a fever. Bruce thinks it's because of the tesseract because they have similar energy they're fighting dominance. Next day she's feeling better, and is being questioned by the sheriff.

Foreshadowing much. She's realizing that she was born to her mother just become hydras soldier. Tally's idea is that well her mom's playing chess they have to play poker. Sunnyside is getting evicted.

Her mother is at the Wyrm. Hello Ruby Lodge. That was intense. Tally just thanked Pepper for being her mom. FP trust her.

Veronica's confirmation. Jughead and Betty found the head. Back at the Wyrm. Tall boy was the one who did it. Going to Lodge Lodge.

I think that's an accurate description of Cheryl. Jughead had to reassure them that everything was fine. The Jughead Veronica kiss. They get to stay in Sunnyside trailer park.

Hiram Lodge bought the Riverdale register. The break-in. They decide to go after tally instead of Veronica because you know she's a Stark. That was a mistake because they isolated her and her room and she was able to overpower one of them and take their shotgun away. She also paged her dad. Hiram Lodge owns pops. Ethel dumped a whole strawberry milkshake on Veronica. Reggie being a dick. Ruby Lodge broke into sweet peas trailer talk to him.

Ruby wants to make a deal. Basically what happened with Malachi where he cheated to protect his sister. Ruby said she wants to make sure her daughter is dead inside. Cheryl's missing. Sweet pea has been distant. Sweet Pea is drinking away sorrows. And he cheated to protect his little sister and his mom.

Jade slapped him. Tony is there. Fangs sent her a photo of Sweet Pea cheating. She's questioning everything. The Avengers want to kick his ass. She went to his trailer. Swalia is over until they get their shit together. Carrie The Musical.

She went to Malachi. She went there for help but they ended up sleeping together. They agreed to be one time thing. The plan started, Malachi would pick her up from the musical the opening night. Ruby stopped them, saying she would kill Malachi if she didn't go with her. into which Malachi admits that he still loves her. But she loves sweet pea. The tranqed her and she woke up in a chair. 5 months later she was in Sweden by herself safe and sound. What you saw an article about Archie Andrews being questioned for a murder. And she thought she might have evidence for it or could get it so she's going back to Riverdale. Then flashback 5 months ago Tony's point of view, Malachi showed up to the school after Midge was murdered. Tally is prime suspect right now. She killed a hydra agent. Then 5 months later. Tony is a pops when he sees his daughter walk in with blonde hair.

She got lectured from Steve about running off for 5 months. She wants to tent city. Her and Sweet Pea had a good to talk. Ruby Lodge.

She just wants to talk. Ancient Norse prophecy. Tony asked Thor and he gulped. There is a prophecy and Thor and Loki believe it to be about Tally. Odin agrees. In the final battle she dies. Thornhill.

Ghoulies. Malachi questioning Penny Peabody's motives and then putting the fear of Tally. Jughead wondering what that was about. The iCarly reference though. "If you ever do that again you're grounded for... Till college." "For till college?" "For till college!"

(So the reason I kind of stopped doing the Instagram post was because after my surgery I kind of just lost all creative initiative to do it.) The video tally turned in was ruled of questionable origin. Thalia Stark is under arrest. I don't remember this plot line. They don't have a very solid case. Matt Murdock, Tally's lawyer, wants to push the case to New York. Charges were dropped thanks to Nicholas fury. Archie pleaded guilty, Malachi is leaving. He wants to see her before he leaves. Tally told him he would hold a special place in her heart. Riverdale high, next day.  They want to get Hiram Lodge arrested.

Sweet Pea and Tally are talking about what happened and Tally finally said what's been running through her head. Thalia is Jade's child's godmother. She told Jade about the prophecy.

Tony is acting weird at The mention of a game that hit Riverdale. Ghoulie hideout with Penny and Ruby. She scared the shit out of Penny Peabody. Veronica's grand opening. Tally is willing to let Sweet Pea try to earn her trust back. They kissed... No, they had sex. The manual.

Flashback episode. Secrets and sins. tally roasting her father. Ruby and Hiram arguing. The Ascension party. Tony basically explained everything to his daughter.

Sweet peas playing the game that Tony told her not to and she asked him not to. She said if you can please playing the game the deal is off so he said well done the deal is off and walked out. She's heartbroken. Archie prison fight club. Since tally is the closest thing they have to a trained doctor she is the one that's going to be at the bunker ready to patch Archie up. sweet peas apologizing. Starting Hiram lodges case.

Swedish Mafia. Sheriff Minetta grilling Tally. Casino night. Sweet pea and her hooked up again. Sweet Pea asked her on a date. After good advice my father she accepted it. When he came to pick her up Tony threatened him saying you already cheat on my daughter again I'm going to kill you which I think is Fair. After a good date he asked tally to be his girlfriend again. She said yes.

Cap wanting her to join RROTC. Not tally paying for Fangs mom's hospital bills. According to Pepper Starks are caffeine dependent insomniacs. Tally had cancer. Thor smashing a toaster. Cheryl the bitch.

Tally helping Sweet Pea study for SATs. Hiram got shot. Fangs is back in the Serpents. FP is Sheriff. Ruby Lodge. Half-sister Alicia von Strucker.

Sweet Pea is worried. Alicia meeting Sweet Pea. Jade's water broke. Thalia regrets not being there for Jade. She gabe her sister a nickname. Captain America Fitness Challenge. To the hospital to see her god child. Violet Thalia Oliver.

Alicia is 100 percent Ruby's daughter. Josie tried to ask sweet pea to go to her mom's wedding with her, Sweet Pea denied. Thalia defending her sister to the Avengers. The Pretty Poisons beat up Sweet Pea and Fangs. Tally rushed over to the Jones trailer where she had a run kn with Jughead's mom. She doesn't like Starks. Jughead now knows about her prophecy. Tally meet Jellybean and calls her an adorable human being. Jellybean fangirling. Jughead trusting Thalia with his life.

Jughead's mom being skeptical af. Tally didn't trust her. Chemistry Lab break in. Jughead asked her to help deal with it, as a favor. Kurtz just called her Malachi's ex-bitch. Sweet Pea is pissed but Tally's got it. After a little violence. She's going to go call Malachi. He gave some food advice. She made Jughead promise something. She caught Kurtz trying to kill Fangs. Jughead made her let him go. Sister bonding time.

Alicia's life story. The Gargoyle King sent her a message. Tally is keeping it a secret from Sweet Pea. FPs 50th.

HEATHERS PART 1. Call from Detective Benson, telling her Nick St. Clair is getting released because of 'overcrowding'. The Avengers are pissed, so is Sweet Pea. Tally is playing Veronica Sawyer. Alicia came to see her sister at rehearsal and brought her a red bull. Party. Okay, I'll admit that was a bad pun. Big Fun. She was tipsy for a second because of Asgardian beer. She steps outside, Ruby is there. She threw up on her biological mother's shoes. Tbh I tried to put more references to the musical in here. Dead girl walking. Practice next day. Everyone finding Nick St. Clair got released and them being pissed. Cheryl wants to castrate him, Reggie agrees. Que Nick St. Douchebag's entrance.

HEATHERS PART 2. When I published part 2, Chadwick Boseman passed away. Rest in Power. Sweet Pea and Archie holding her back but everyone who know exactly what happened was ready to beat his face in. Nick called Tally a ticking time bomb. He mentioned the prophecy. Tally threatening him. Tally has some explaining to do. Her going to Sheriff Jones to get a restraining order. Tally shading Steve. Seventeen. Dr Stephen Strange saved her life. Alicia texted her to meet her. She gonna blow up the school. Alicia cuffed her in vibranium cuffs, she called Shuri. Dead Girl Walking Reprise (What a bop tho) Kevin met her at the door she told him to evacuate the building as silently as possible. Boiler room. The fight for the gun. Alicia was dead. She was able to deactivate the bomb. She went outside where everyone was waiting and trying to calm Sweet Pea and Tony down. Then she saw Ruby and saw red. FRIDAY record the convo. Tally just said it's over amd told her mom to fuck off. Ruby is pissed because it's not her ending. Tally just walked away and kept walking. I'mma be honest these are my favorite chapters.

Since the funeral, tally isolated herself in a depression. Now she has a text from an unknown person to meet her at Sweetwater River. Chic. Malachi came to see her. They had a good talk, he made her realize some things.

Cheryl preaching the farm agenda to tally who's just trying to grieve her sister. So she gives Cheryl a verbal SmackDown. Toni being pissed about it. Tally doesn't want to go to prom, so instead she wants to take sweet pea on a date in New York. Betty's dad's prison bus exploding. Veronica being confused on why they would miss prom. I'm telling explains it she's like well I know when that used to be your preferred choice of setting. He's asking him to move on after the prophecy is complete and she's dead.

Veronica's Pop deed is fake. Veronica wants Tally to fight her father. Tally is unsure about it, she could kill her dad with a single punch. Toby agrees the best bet us Tally. Archie taking the ring with Hiram, could possibly get Archie killed. Fight night. He broke her nose. Tally did more damage to him of course. Hiram Lodge has been arrested. When her family and sweet pea find out that she was the reason Hiram Lodge got arrested in the first place. They were starting to get ready to go into business together and tell you didn't want Lodge industries to fuck over Stark industries. When she figured out moves from Avatar to last Airbender and legend of Korra. Her mom escaped from prison.

Avengers discussing protection for tally. Package for tally. Thalia Stank. It was from the gargoyle King but she played it off in front of the Avengers and just left. To go to the hunting cabin of the blossoms. Her mom is there. Time for the final quest. The first one is for Archie the grizzled beast. I love tally. Because when Archie says oh crap, she says I think you're allowed to say fuck in this situation. Archie wins though. Tally had to play Russian roulette to get her in with the swedish Mafia. The next task is for Veronica. All the chalices were poisoned so Betty and Veronica are both poisoned.

Tally's turn. The assassin card. Battle of Blood. Biological mother vs daughter. Thalia killed her biological mother. Jughead's turn. He had won. And finally Betty's turn. She shut off her dad's fingers. After Penelope give the order to kill them all Thalia made a giant barrier with her powers. The farm ascended, leaving Kevin behind. The Avengers were shocked about what happened.

Filler chapter. Therapist appointment. Pop's with her dad. Tally remembering. Sweet Pea checking on her. Sweet Pea wants to run away with her, maybe run away from all of it but tally knows she can't. Then the next week tally knew the prophecy would be complete.

The beginning of infinity war. Dr strange. Wong knows about the prophecy while doctor strange doesn't. Tony just trying to protect his daughter. Tally got knocked unconscious. Bruce woke her up, Tony and Peter Parker are in space trying to save Doctor strange and keep the time Stone out of thanos's hands. At the compound talking about what to do. Tally knows someone.

Tally dreaming of the infinity Stones and seeing Thanos. Shuri. Things have entered the atmosphere. Tally's iron daughter suit. The fight has begun. Cap saying fuck. Thanos is coming for vision. Telling us what's happening to the stones right now. She bloodbended Thanos but the Avengers couldn't get to Thanos quick enough to get the glove off so he snapped. They lost. Tally is gone and so is half of the universe.

Nat is regretting not getting to Thanos quick enough to get to the glove off of him while tally bloodbended him. Tony found out that she's able to bloodbend. Tony passing out. Going to go kill Thanos. Nat and Thor explaining Thalia to Rocket. Thor went for the head.

5 YEARS LATER. Natasha's point of view. Meeting, Barton murdering people, Steve stopping by. She's remembering tally, reminiscing with Steve. Scott Lang. Quantum realm. Tony's point of view. Morgan Stark. Them telling the plan to Tony. Him thinking it's risky. Tony is salty about the fact that if they were close enough when tally bloodbended than Thanos they could have been done they could have won but they lost. Scott's trying to play with his heartstrings, mentioning tally, his first born daughter.

Bruce banner/hulk talking about the time travel thing . Tony's POV. While washing dishes he looks at a photo thinking of his daughter, tally. He decided he has to do it to see her again. He figured out time travel. Pepper finding out you figured out time travel. He's going to do it. Natasha's POV next morning. Scott time traveling going wrong. Steve POV. Walking outside seeing car pull up. Cap getting his shield back. But there's something Tony has to do before he gets to work.

He went to go see Malachi. He want to let Malachi know that there was hope. Malachi gave him a flash drive of Tally's research guy she entrusted him with five years ago. Clint testing the time travel machine worked. When Tony opened the flash drive he realized that a lot of it was mapped out for him already. Tally made a video titled if we lost. Time travel time. New York 2012. Time Stone.

Tony's POV, then Steve's POV. Not Steve saying hail Hydra. Tony's POV. Scott giving 2012 Tony a heart attack. Tesseract sliding to Loki. Steve POV. "That is America's ass" I think that's all I have to say for that part. Bruce's POV. Him telling her that Strange gave it away. She gave him the time stone. Tony POV. Deciding to go to New Jersey.

1970. Tony's point of view. Tony seeing his dad and getting the tesseract. Steve's point of view. Getting Hank Pym to run down the hallway. Tony's POV. Talking to his dad. Avengers compound. Natasha was gone. Grieving Natasha. Making the gauntlet, Thor going to stop his fingers then stop him Bruce snapping his fingers. It worked. Then disaster struck a missiles blew away the Avengers compound. Thanos sat waiting for the Avengers. Thanos vs Steve, Thor and Tony. Tony getting knocked out. Steve POV. Picks up Thor's hammer. Everyone is back. Tally is back.

Tally POV. Tally and Tony reuniting. Female team up without Nat. Tally took the stones before he could snap."You are so fucked." She turned to dust. Tony's POV. She started glowing. He grieved. Sweet Pea is at Stark Tower. He found out she sacrificed herself. The funeral. Tally is alive.

The scene with death. When Tally woke up she didn't remember anything. Everyone is shocked. Wanda jogged her memory. She explained everything. She met Morgan.

Graduation. Tally's POV. She was the valedictorian. She's going to MIT. Sweet Pea proposed. When she graduated, taking on Stark industries, she made sure it was clear the weapons will never be apart of Stark Industries again. When Sweet Pea and Tally got married she found out she was pregnant. Sweet Pea's name is this is Nathan Mantle. In the end they had 3 kids. Nick St. Clair got killed by the Swedish Mafia. She is the Iron Daughter.

Overall, I'm going to admit I don't remember writing half of this story because of my brain surgery and I was working on it during this. I love this story, it is my first time reading it all at once but I am partial to it because I worked on it for almost a full year and is the first Riverdale x Avengers crossover fic on wattpad. There is somethings I was contemplating, like who she was going to end up with, if she was going to die in the first snap or not. I was also going to do a part where she goes into hiding with Harley from Iron Man 3 and works as a waitress in a little diner as a cover, saying she's Harley's cousin, wearing a wig and contacts but I felt that'd make the story too long. But there are a few things I'm iffy about so 9/10.

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Heathers | Sweet Pea

A/N: Part two! Taglist is still open if you’d like a spot on that! Just lemme know. 

Act one - Act two 

Words: 2684

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Warnings: cursing, angst, mentions of alcohol and parties, heartbreak 

Act two: Big Fun 

“Are we going to have a problem?” Cheryl nearly shouts as she starts her battle with Toni. It’s been weeks since the first rehearsal and we’re off book and in costume, now setting everything on the stage. Cheryl and Toni have been fighting during the entire rehearsal process. I knew they were together, but I have no clue what the fight is about. All I know is, that it’s incredibly unprofessional to fight on stage when Toni clearly has some good choreography. Cheryl even pushes Toni to the side, making her stumble into Peaches ‘n Cream – another one of the Serpents or now the Pretty Poisons. I do not keep up. When the song ends and the Heathers are in their pose, nobody claps. All of us are just staring at them in confusion and utter awkwardness, unsure of what to do. “That was … something…” Kevin says, and then Cheryl storms off in a rage. “Kev, can we do that number again, please?” Betty asks the director in despair. “Vee and I really need to get the steps right.” Without saying another word, Kevin looks at me, knowing I’ve learned the song by heart, and I can keep up with choreo by just seeing it once. So, I nod and get up from my seat between Sweet Pea and Margot. “I am doing the full explicit version. So, please, no duck-duck-goose and doorknobs,” I warn them in advance before nodding to the music department to get started on the music whilst I hold onto my croquet stick. The Heathers behind me nod and Toni goes to sit back down with her Pretty Poisons. “Are we gonna have a problem? You got a bone to pick? You’ve come so far Why now are you pulling on my dick? I’d normally slap your face off And everyone here could watch But I’m feeling nice Here’s some advice Listen up, biotch!” The three of us get into the choreography Cheryl had just done with them, but I alter it a bit and add some of Toni’s steps, which Betty and Veronica follow in. “I like! Lookin’ hot Buying stuff they cannot I like! Drinkin’ hard Maxin’ Dad’s credit card I like! Skippin’ gym Scaring her Screwing him I like! Killer clothes Kickin’ nerds in the nose!” I look back at the two other Heathers. They’re both so concentrated on the choreo and the song, that they forget to have a good time. “If you lack the balls You can go play dolls Let your mommy fix you a snack” “Woah!” Betty and Veronica sing on cue. “Or you could come smoke Pound some rum and coke In my Porsche with the quarterback” I need to find a way to have them make fun while they’re doing this. Because this is the most fun song to do, apart from Dead Girl Walking, if you know what I mean. “Woah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin’ for? Welcome to my candy store Time for you to prove You’re not a loser anymore Then step into my candy store” I walk backwards, lining up with the two other Heathers rather than staying at the front. “Guys fall” Veronica and I sing together, locking eyes. I give her a smile, and her mouth curls up a little for a split second like a little spasm. “At your feet Pay the check” Betty sings by herself, unaware of what I’m trying to do. “Help you cheat” Veronica goes. “All you” we sing in unison, and I lock eyes with Betty as she sings her next line. “Have to do” Then I sing, “Say goodbye to Shamu” while waving as part of the choreo. “That freak’s” “Not your friend I can tell in the end” The smile reappears on Veronica’s face again as she looks at me whilst singing. “If she” the three of us sing in unison. “Had your shot” Betty sounds a lot happier too and when I look at her, there’s a grin playing at her lips as well. A happiness wells up in my stomach as the three of us sing in perfect unison. “She would leave you to rot!” Betty walks a little forward to where I would be as Veronica and sings the next part. “‘Course if you don’t care Fine! Go braid her hair Maybe Sesame Street is on” “Woah!” We all go before Veronica then steps up next to Betty and sings her line. “Or forget that creep” “And get in my jeep” The two smile at each other, and then I step in between them. However, their smiles stay. “Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn” Especially during the next chorus, all three of us are actually having fun singing the song and doing the choreography. It’s almost as if they don’t have to focus as hard on everything as they did in the beginning, and they can have fun doing it instead. Just like I wanted them to. “Woah! Woah! Woah! Honey, whatchu waitin’ for? Welcome to my candy store You just gotta prove You’re not a pussy anymore Then step into my candy store” “You can join the team” I sing, walking towards where I’d be marked as Veronica Sawyer. “Or you can bitch and moan” Betty and Veronica walk up to me. “You can live the dream” “Or you can die alone” They pretend to stab themselves in the gut and glance up at me as I sing the next line before they join me in singing too. “You can fly with eagles” “Or if you prefer” “Keep on testing me” “And end up like her!” I know I then have a spoken line, along with Martha, but since we’re focusing on the song and the dancing, I don’t do that one and instead, the three of us continue singing. “Woah!” “Honey, whatchu waiting fo—” Betty sings, getting ready to pretend to do the high note, but then I come in with my favorite line of all. “Shut up, Heather!” Betty raises her eyebrows with an amused smile on her face. The two of them continue to sing the song normally whilst I hit the high note Jessica Keenan Wynn does so well in the cast recording and in the off-Broadway show. “Step into my candy store! Oooh woah! Woah oh oh!” I then join Betty and Veronica again in singing the last part of the song perfectly. “Then step into my candy store! It’s my candy store It’s my candy It’s my candy store It’s my candy! It’s my candy store It's my candy store!” This time around, everyone gets off their seat and begins applauding and cheering loudly. “That was so much fun, Y/N!” Veronica exclaims, clapping her hands like a school child. “That’s what I was trying to teach you! Sure, you need to get the steps right and sing the right tune, but it’s so much more important to have fun while you’re doing this!” I say with a smile as all of us walk off the stage again for a small break. “And I loved how you intertwined Cheryl’s choreo with mine,” Toni then adds, a thankful face plastered on her face, “Thanks for that, Y/N.” “Since it’s Friday, Evelyn and I thought it would be a good idea to get the entire cast together for a grand big fun party tonight at her place,” Kevin then informs us as we’re nearing the end of rehearsal. “Starts at nine, Evelyn will text you the address.”  

“Dad says act your age, You heard the man, It’s time to rage,” I hear Evelyn sing as I walk into her house a little after nine. I roll my eyes at them. I can’t believe they’re doing the Big Fun number when not in rehearsals. “Y/N!” Evelyn exclaims as she hands me a shot of tequila and a lime whilst Kevin is holding a saltshaker. “It’s salt, then shot, then lime. Very important to get the order right!” she tells me. I nod as Kevin shakes out a little bit of salt on the back of my hand. I lick it up, then chug the shot and put the piece of lime in my mouth. “Whoo!” I exclaim, shivering a little at the sourness of the liquor and the lime. “Thanks, Ev and Kev!” Before I can say anything else, Fangs has already taken my hand and twirls me around. “The party's hot, hot, hot It's time for big fun! Big fun!” I actually sing along now. The song always gets me dancing and singing. I mean, it’s Heathers, come on. “You need a jello shot!” Sweet Pea says to Fangs and pats him on the chest before walking off. I can’t help but let my gaze follow him. Suddenly, I see his smile falter and walk off a little less cheerily than before. He takes a left instead of a right where I’d seen the bar when I walked in. His antics make me curious, so I decide to follow after him since I don’t really feel like dancing too much tonight anyway. “Hey,” I say when I find him outside on a lounge chair near the pool. He looks up at me and gives me a saddened smile. “Mind if I join you out here?” he signals for me to sit down next to him, and I do so. A careful few inches between us as he stares down at his fingers, plucking at the skin. “Not a party person?” he then asks me without looking up from his hands. “Not really, no. I normally just go for milkshakes at Pop’s after rehearsals with some of the cast,” I explain. For some reason, I suddenly feel nervous. I’m not sure if he’s the one making me nervous. But there’s a tingly feeling in my stomach and my hands get clammy. “I’d much rather be at Pop’s right now than here,” he mumbles, but I catch it loud and clear. “Let’s get out of here then,” I suggest. He finally looks up at me, hope displayed in his eyes. “Yeah, come on, let’s go! Neither one of us wants to be here, so why do we stay?” he nods, agreeing to my statement and both of us get up from the chair outside. “I’m just quickly going to tell Fangs I’m leaving,” he informs me, and I nod as I wait for him for a moment. The cast had gone to regular music and just dancing like normal people instead of the theater people. I’ll admit, if I do go to a party, it’s a theater party and we’d only sing musical soundtracks and do the choreography. But this time around, I really don’t feel like doing it. My eyes fall upon Fangs and Sweet Pea again, and I can see Fangs looking back at me with a smirk on his face. I give him a little wave as a smile tugs on my lips. Sweet Pea then walks up to me again, and tells me we can go. “What made you want to leave all of a sudden? You looked like you were having fun?” I ask him when we’re sat in a booth at Pop’s, both with vanilla milkshakes in front of us and a basket of curly fries to share. He slumps in his chair. “Josie and I had a thing this summer, and she told me we couldn’t start something serious because she wants to focus on her music career, but then I saw her making out with Archie Andrews at the party,” he explains whilst popping a fry in his mouth. My mouth drops open slightly. I did not see that one coming. I thought it was something Southside-Northside related or something, but it was mainly just a love thing. I wouldn’t peg Sweet Pea as the relationship-type of guy. He looks more of a fling kind of guy. Someone who just goes for one-nightstands. Not that anything’s wrong with that. “Maybe she was just drunk?” I try to reassure him, but he shakes his head. “She’d just gotten there, and Josie doesn’t drink. I think they’re actually serious,” he shakes his head at his own words. “Can’t believe I was that stupid to fall for her.” I reach forward and place my hand on top of his. “You’re not stupid, Sweet Pea. You don’t decide who you fall for. That’s the thing that sucks about love. If we could decide who we fall and don’t fall for, there wouldn’t be such a thing as heartbreak.” A small tear escapes from my eye as I think about my own ex and how much heartbreak he’d caused me. “Why did you want to leave the party?” he then shoots the question back. I take a deep breath first. “I’ve never been a big party girl. I was never invited to any of the cool parties since I’m the theater nerd. But then Reggie and I dated for a while. At the first – and last – party he took me to, he tried to get me in his bed when I didn’t want to… Ever since, I didn’t even dare to show my face at parties, let alone at school. Reggie had damaged me, really broke my heart. So, being there tonight reminded me of that one party, especially since Reggie was there too.” “So, we’re both kind of avoiding terrible exes then?” he questions, and I nod in response. “Yep, but at least we got the most important roles in the musical, and they didn’t,” I say and hold up my glass. Sweet Pea grabs his too and clinks it with mine whilst looking me in the eyes. A shiver sends down my spine as our eyes stay locked when we’re taking a sip. “Can I ask, is Sweet Pea your real name?” Sweet Pea places his glass down as he shakes his head. “It’s actually Noah, but my mother, before she died, always called me Sweet Pea after her favorite flower. So, ever since she died, I told people to always call me Sweet Pea, as to never forget her. To always have a part of her with me.” A single tear rolls down his cheek as one does down my cheek too. “See, now I’m crying too. You’re not alone,” he says, and it reminds me of one of the songs we have to do as a duet together. “You're not alone” I sing softly, making him look up and then sing the next part as if on automatic pilot. “And when the morning comes” I give him a small smile and echo, “When the morning comes” “We'll burn away that tear, and raise our city here,” he sings. A sparkle flickers in his eyes. “Raise our city here” I echo again, and then we sing the next line together. “Our love is God” The both of us stop there. I doubt a diner is the right place to rehearse a song together and belt out the lyrics. “You’re a great singer, Y/N,” he then compliments and a smile tugs at his lips before he wraps them around the straw and sips from his milkshake again. “Thanks, Sweet Pea,” I say, not being able to stop a blush from spreading on my cheeks. “You’re really good too. You should join the drama club. We’re in need of some strong male lead vocals.” Sweet Pea chuckles as I grab another fry. “I don’t think drama club is for me,” he replies with a grimace. A pout pulls at my bottom lip. “At least come by sometime? We don’t come together during musical, but when all this is over, I’m taking you to a drama club meeting and you’ll see that there is a place for you.” “You know what, I might actually take you up on that offer.”

[sandalaris]

For the writer asks: 5, 10, 17, 22, 23, 30, 45, & 54!! :D

Finally getting around to answering these XD

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

I read so much I feel like I can’t narrow it down. My favorite author is Ilona Andrews but they write almost exclusively in first person and have their fair share of action in their novels that I don’t think they’re that much of an influence on me. I’m trying to think of who I read that did the whole “people usually feel a mix of emotions over just one” thing that I know I’ve adopted, but I can’t think of who it is. (I can think of an author, who I do love the books of, who did the opposite and I found myself always confused about a character was supposed to be feeling/thinking and they probably influenced me to not do that, but I do like their books and that seems too much like I’m trying to be negative about them.)

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

If I got to pick anyone, it’d be Marissa Meyer who wrote the Lunar Chronicles. It would be for one novel/novella, because I feel like the Lunar Chronicles has one more sort of side story in it and would want so badly for it to fit what the author has already written. If you haven’t read the series, it’s basically a retelling of various fairy tales just set in the future, like Cinderella has a metal prosthetic foot that keeps falling off and Rapunzel is a hacker living in a satellite orbiting earth. Everything is set up to perfectly fit a Beauty and the Beast side-story. Genetically altered super soldiers who are big and hairy and given animal aggression and had all their teeth surgically replaced with fangs for failing to pass a test as a child? Check! Now all we need is to write a story about the bookish daughter of a geneticist who gets blackmailed into staying with the “beast” and slowly learns that there’s a man inside of the monster and ends up figuring out how to reverse some of the alterations (because we already got the “I love him just as he is, fangs and all” thing from Scarlet and Wolf so we can have a little “curse breaking” this time around.) It can be set post-series, when some of the wolf-soldiers ran off and disappeared into various countries.

I once co-write a novel with my best friend about an evil warlock who fell in insta-love with a ditzy elf and spent the rest of the novel trying to avoid her so he could dodge his fate of retiring from villainy like his father and grandfather before him. He was determined to be the one villain in his family who actually went through with his evil master plan, dammit! It was a comedy, and kind of a spoof since we were at that age where romance novels were the thing to make fun of, but it still ended with him deciding he could do evil masterminding later and running off with the elf. What can I say, we were like twelve.

17. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Eek, the problem with averages is that any sort of outlier knocks everything else off, and I have a lot of outliers, lol. I go through writing spurts, sitting down and all but knocking out an entire chapter/one-shot in one sitting followed by days where I won’t even open a word document. And then there’s sort of my inbetween times where I’m usually typing away on something, but it’s more editing than actual writing, so maybe 100 or so new words might get written, but what I’ve previously written looks better by the end, lol. This has been the norm especially lately with school and work taking up the majority of my time. And then it hits me and I just need to let the story flow out of me? Between 2k-5k a sit down session.

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

I don’t really do true drafts. I write, I edit, I post, and then I suddenly see all my typos. On the rare occasion editing doesn’t fix the issue, I might cut the scene into chunks and sort of look for the line(s) that don’t fit and start branching off from there (like maybe someone’s acting out of character *glares at current chapter* and I just needed to look at it in smaller incriments to see where they started to veer off). Only once have I ever just completely reworked the extremely extremely rough draft I had written, but that was an original work I did for Nano and so was more concern with getting words on a page than editing as I go.

I suppose editing could count as a second draft, so two? Maybe three? What is considered One Editing? If I leave off and come back, is it an all new edit/draft, or am I picking up where I left off?

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

Nine times out of ten I seem to veer towards single, although I’ve had some fun with multiple POVs before.

Not really sure why. Maybe I just find it easier to burrow into one person’s headspace and go from there? I know there are times when I want to jump to another character for one specific scene, but I always feel like I’m already committed to telling things from the one character’s POV. Or maybe I just like the limited narrator thing.

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

Err.. I don’t know that I have one. How about a line I rather like? This is from a kind of Amaru/Brasa fic (kinda sorta. He’s got that whole mix of love and hate and resentment and worship thing going on, and she has her own twisted attachment to him) set in those six months between seasons. These lines are from a moment where Kate surfaces and Brasa fantasizes about taking out some of his resentment of Amaru on Kate. (He never actually physically harms her, Amaru would never allow someone to mark her vessel simply because its hers, but he likes to imagine.)

He thinks about wide green eyes looking up at him with fear, filling with tears as she whimpers out a “Please.” Imagines pressing a hand to her shoulder, pressing down down down until she’s kneeling before him, trembling as he cups her jaw, forcing her head back. He wants to press his thumb to the plump swell of her bottom lip, dig his nail in until the blood, her soul, comes to the surface. Filling the flesh with color until it spill across her chin in a vibrant slash.

and to give you an idea of how Kate is handling Brasa’s attempts to take his issues out on her...

He can see the muscle at the hinge of her jaw tighten, hear the harsh edge of every exhale, as she turns to look up at him mere inches away.  

“My name,” she clips, “is Kate.” She bites off the last, harsh sound, almost snapping her teeth at him.

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

I’m trying to think of actual feedback and not just like angry comments/reviews from people who didn’t like my fics (which tbh I haven’t gotten that much of because people aren’t generally that big of a dick to leave flames on fics these days.)

Someone tried to tell me that a character dropping the f-bomb was unnecessary and jarring and I should remove it from one of my fics. And hey, to each their own, but I personally felt it fit both the character (who cursed in canon) and the story and so kept it in. People certainly can write great literature without every putting down a single curse word, but there’s also great stories that wouldn’t be the same without a bit of foul language. What bugged me most about it was their insistence I should remove it.

Besides that the only other bad feedback I’ve gotten (besides obvious flames and people not liking the direction I’m going/have gone with a story), was someone who said that my clearly labeled unhealthy relationship fic was romanticizing abuse and they didn’t appreciate the one character manipulating the other character like that. They were actually fairly nice about it (if a bit of an anti about the whole thing), I just remember being a little bugged at the time because I had already tagged it as unhealthy/manipulative.

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Don’t be afraid to experiment! And in that same vein, try out writing rules and discard them just as quickly if they aren’t for you, because there’s no set in stone way to doing things. Break all the rules if you want, the point is just to write. XD

Thanks!!

[godofsunandselfies]

Kyrie considered herself a pacifist; or, at least, as close as a pacifist a demigod can be. If she could manage it, she would rather tackle confrontations with words and reason rather than bronze and violence. Papa called her a "sweetheart" because of this. Connor would often declare her to have "the patience of a saint". She supposed that they were correct. She was willing to play the long game; give more than enough chances and wait for her "opponent" to see the error of their ways and do the right thing.

But this time? With this asshole of a demigod (Could he even be considered as a demigod? Likely not, considering how watered down his blood ties to Papa were.), she had no patience. There were no chances. This time she wanted this boy to hurt.

"You alright there, Kyrie?"

She blinked. Drawn out from her cloud of violence, she turned to face one of her younger brothers - Michael. He looked at her expectantly. Oh dear, had he been talking to her the entire time? She didn't hear a thing.

She gave him a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, did you say something? I didn't quite catch it."

Thankfully he didn't seem upset. Rather he looked amused. Michael looked so much like Dad, dark hair and all - especially when he smiled. She, on the other hand, looked more like Papa; inheriting his golden hair and bright brown eyes. The only physical connection she had with their dad were her heightened senses and her fangs... and her unfortunate diet.

"You didn't miss much. I was just going on and on about how much of a brat that Octavian kid's been since Dad managed to get those Roman kids to stand down."

At the mention of Camp Jupiter's auger (A title he clearly did not deserve.), a scowl marred her otherwise perpetually serene expression. The sight of it triggered a particularly loud guffaw from her brother.

"I knew it!" He chortled. "I knew I wasn't seeing things. You" - pointed a finger inches away from her slowly reddening face - "Miss 'I-Don't-Get-Angry-At-All', were practically burning Octavian alive with your glare."

"Oh shush," she gently swatted at his finger. "Don't be so loud. Someone could hear you!"

In between chuckles, Michael gestured around them with wide arms. "Who? There's no one in the infirmary, Kyrie. It's just us."

Indeed, Camp Half-Blood's infirmary was devoid of its usual hustle and bustle of injured demigods and rushing healers. A rarity - a miracle, really. But it was to be expected. Ever since that heart thumping-ly tense standoff between Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood about few days ago, no one had the stomach to hold any war games. Not with that tension - this precarious peace between the camps - near smothering the air. As Head Healer, Kyrie should be relishing this rare moment of peace. But she couldn't. Not when the events of last night played back in her head like a movie of spite. Her hands itched for action - and it was not a nice action she wished to commit. (Idly she wondered if this was how Connor often felt. This restlessness... This urge to lash out. It was terrible. How on Olympus does he manage?)

"So what did Octavian do that's got you so riled up, sis? " Michael leaned back against his chair, pushing so far that the rickety piece of furniture balanced precariously at an angle as he stretched himself out to his full height. He was always so lazy, she thought. So very much like a tomcat, sunning the hours away every day.

She huffed and shot him a look. "Why are you even asking? You clearly know."

He did - she could see it in how he wrinkled his nose as his mind played back the same anger-kindling film of last night. It had been dinner and, as always, everyone in camp had gathered at the Dining Pavilion to eat and socialize and just enjoy the last hours of a day before having to tuck in and begin anew. Only this time, an invitation had been extended to the Roman demigods to join them, rather than eat separately as they often did since the "peace" between them was made. A chance to bond and encourage peaceful relations. It was an idea that she wholeheartedly encouraged.

But of course Octavian had to ruin it for her and her family.

That boy, he was - for a lack of better term, and to borrow some language from Kayla's book (Oh how she missed her and Austin, and Dantes, and most especially Damien. She hoped they were alright back on Olympus. And that Papa was alright too. Hopefully the peace they now had with Camp Jupiter, as shaky as it still was, eased up whatever that split was doing to him. Hopefully it enough for him to come home soon.) - a great big pile of dicks. Nothing but a scheming little weasel - but that comparison would be an offense to all weasels - who only wanted to start a war; who sought out violence that seemed more fitting in Ares himself than someone who had blood ties (Very, very weak blood ties.) to Papa. It was obvious that he was vexed that Camp Half-Blood was still standing; that Reyna had taken the diplomatic option rather than diving head first into carnage. He was petty - and he wanted that peace, this alliance, to crumble. So he sought out for any weaknesses - any chinks in the armor - in the person responsible.

Kyrie knew that the foundation of the alliance between the camps was partially marred by a trick... or at least a misunderstanding. Everyone in Camp Half-Blood knew that Dad, while married to a god and having been so for... well... forever, was not a god. That he wasn't entirely human either, and that was the reason for his immortality. But nobody else outside of camp knew that. Not even all of the Olympians knew that. Thus those of Camp Jupiter believed her Dad, and by association, herself and her siblings, were gods. And that belief played a great deal in getting them to stop and listen; it was what discouraged them from toeing the line that was drawn in her Dad and Reyna's agreement.

But last night, it was like Octavian knew. (Which should be impossible. How could he have known? No one in camp would let it slip But she supposed it could've happened. An accident.) He kept needling Dad with questions and thinly veiled accusations. Dad not eating was a reoccurring point. It reached a point where he forced her dad to actually eat the food that had been prepared for everyone.

Dad couldn't eat real food. Couldn't taste a thing. And when he did, it would just make him sick. He knew this. She and her siblings all knee this. But he did it anyway - just to prove Octavian wrong; to throw him off.

It worked. Clearly. But now Dad was at home, sick to his stomach. And it was all Octavian's fault.

It fucking pissed her off.

Kyrie preferred the peaceful way of handling confrontations. But no one messed with her family. No one. And she wanted Octavian to pay.

"Now there's a look that I've only ever seen once before," drawled Michael as he watched her quietly seeth in her seat; glaring down Octavian's thin figure in the distance.

She frowned. She knew what he meant. She was a pacifist, fairly docile, up until her family came in harms way. The last she'd felt like this - this itch in her skin to curl her fingers around Octavian's neck; this licking fire in her gut that boiled and boiled until she was practically shaking with furious heat - was during the last prophecy; during the Battle at Manhattan. When they lost Kori and Bennett... She didn't remember much of what happened during those battles. Only that she was angry. So so very angry. And that she made Kronos and his army pay for stealing away her siblings. She made them pay with blood.

"Thinking of getting some payback?"

She furrowed her brow. "It will damage the peace Dad made for everyone."

Disappointment huffed from her brother.

"But I do have an idea. Nothing too drastic."

A wide grin split across his face.

~~~~~~~

Kyrie knew she was different. Not just because of her nonviolent preferences, but of what she was capable of. When her abilities manifested, she had inherited a power that was... rare from her Papa's side. Much rarer than his future sight, and more deadly.

While few, there were plenty of horror stories of children of Apollo who inherited his powers over sickness. The children her Papa fathered way before he had met Dad and who possessed those abilities were seen as bad omens, and often were at the epicenter of sudden plagues and pandemics. Considered to be terrible people...

So when she had manifested that "gift", frankly she was terrified; she feared that her parents would shun her - maybe even run her out of camp entirely. It was a silly thing to think of, but she'd been seven and her imagination ran wild.

Papa put her fears to rest; told her that she was not a bad omen, and that he and Dad had a child before who also inherited the plague aspect, a son, and he had turned out fine. Since then, he made sure to train her how to properly control her powers - because that was what had went wrong with the plague children before; no control had doomed them and thousands of people.

But it was still a well guarded secret. No one outside of their family knew what she was capable of. She did not mind. She understood. Not everyone would be as accepting or kind to a person who could inflict the most terrible illnesses imaginable to them with but a single touch.

And she scarcely used her powers to begin with. Violence was not her thing after all. She only wanted to heal people; not will them to rot away. (And the irony of her position was not lost to her, or her family.)

But there are some exceptions that she was willing to make. Octavian was certainly one of them.

Kyrie waited by the side of her home - right in the space between home and Aunt Artemis's honorary cabin. Peeking out the corner, she saw Michael doing what they had planned. He walked alongside Octavian, subtly leading him to where she stood, keeping the "legacy"'s attention with questions about camp and withstanding whatever anti-Greek drivel the pale wraith of a boy spat out. (She would need to reward Michael well for putting himself through that. Even though he was the one who came up with it - no one deserves to withstand Octavian's presence any longer than they need to.)

As they drew closer, Michael eventually took his leave of Octavian, giving a well-acted wave before scampering off in the direction of the nearby archery field, leaving Octavian alone. When he finally drew close enough, Kyrie put her own acting chops through the test and stepped out in a faux hurried pace - looking all to the world like she had come rushing out of the house, head in the clouds about some errand.

She collided with Octavian; shoulder crashing against shoulder with a force that would've sent him to the floor had she not whipped her hands out and caught him by his arms.

The second her skin touched his, she sent out a pulse of power into him, inflicting illness upon his body.

"Nothing too terrible," she had told Michael as they schemed (What a word.) in the infirmary. "I want him to suffer in the same way he made Dad did. Not kill him, Mikey."

Her brother had scoffed. "I'm just saying, no one would be broken up about it if he did croak from some disease."

A part of her - the bit of her that was all fire and fury when her family came into harm - agreed with Michael, but she had her principles. She wanted to get even. That was all.

"Oh dear! I'm so sorry, Octavian," she cooed with false concern. "Are you alright?"

She made to fret over him, as she tended to do whenever her siblings and fellow campers were injured, but Octavian slapped her hand away.

"I am fine! No thanks to you," he sneered at her; gaze filled only with poison disdain. (How on earth this boy claimed relation to her family, she did not know. Perhaps another sick trick of the Fates.) "You should watch where you're going, you insipid little---"

He never got to finish as a blur of orange and black sped from his side and shoved him firmly to the ground.

Connor bore down; a look of honest to gods murder on his face. "Finish that sentence. I dare you."

Octavian went pale. (Quite the feat considering how pale he already was.) He scrambled to his feet and took off with a slight shriek. Anger at her having bumped into him long forgotten.

Connor relaxed and face her. His expression easing to open concern. "Are you okay, Kyrie?"

She beamed. "I am perfectly fine. Actually, I'm in a wonderful mood."

His lips twitched upwards - almost into a smile. "Something good happen today? "

"Mmhmm. And I just know that tomorrow will be even better!"

~~~~~~

The next day proved to be another lazy day in the infirmary, so she took the opportunity to lounge on the front porch of the Big House, just enjoying the chilled weather. Eventually the front door opened and the cabin councilors and the leaders of Camp Jupiter's - what did they call it? "Cohorts"? - spilled out; some still muttering amongst their fellows regarding whatever it was they had to discuss at their meeting.

Vergil stepped out as well, as he was often the representative for their family (and Dad and Papa would be in attendance, being co-directors of the camp alongside Chiron) for these things. Upon seeing her though, he came to a stop and approached, settling down right beside her on a nearby chair. It was quite the comical picture - a man as big and intimidating as him precariously seated on a rickety rocking chair. (Though she and all of camp knew that Vergil was anything but intimidating.)

Silence was all there was between them as they both watched the others file on out and disappear into the camp grounds. It was only until everyone was certainly gone that Vergil spoke.

"So the meeting went a lot more smoothly this time around," he said, staring idly at the planks of the floor.

She smiled. "Is that so? "

He nodded. "Yes. Octavian was absent, you see. Apparently he caught a nasty stomach flu. It came to him so suddenly. Reyna said that it's likely that he'll be bedridden for a week. Maybe even two." The corners of his mouth rose several centimeters as he caught her gaze - blue meeting brown; both amused. "Would you happen to have a hand in this sudden turn of events?"

She said nothing, only smiled at her older brother.

With a laugh and a slight shake of his head, Vergil rose from the chair and ruffled her hair. "You did good, little sister. I'll see you back at home, yeah? " Then he too disappeared into the camp grounds.

Pleased, Kyrie reclined in her seat and relished her little moment.

It truly was a good day. And clearly it will be a good week or two ahead.

[persephonescat]

Birds and Other Supernatural Phenomenons

Okay, so this got way longer than expected, and I've re-written it like a thousand times, so I have to post it before I go completely crazy. Enjoy!

Ch. 1    Previous    Next    Masterpost    AO3

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Ch. 6: Cats and Dogs

Marinette almost died that night. It was so incredibly stupid, that if she hadn't felt so shitty in the morning, she might've had laughed at it.

She blamed Jeremy. They were sitting on the roof until five AM when he had to leave - probably to get ready for school, but Marinette didn't ask. 

He wasn't supposed to stay for so long in the first place, but she started teaching him French, and he was so hilariously incompetent, they forgot to check the time. He was pretty freaked out when he realized it was almost morning.

Okay. That sucks but no biggie, right? 

Honestly, everything would've been perfectly fine if Jeremy'd let her drink her coffee. She went down to get one around two AM when she was already on the verge of passing out - forty-two hours of not sleeping will do that to you, but as soon as she put it down on the roof, Jeremy accidentally knocked it over. She watched as the sacred liquid painted the cold concrete black, and didn't go back for a new cup.

After he left, she fell asleep. On the roof. In the cold.

Ladybugs and cold didn't go well together. By the time Tikki decided to come out of the hotel room and check on her, the Sun was already up, and Marinette's body was freezing. She was still asleep, of course, because being half-dead usually isn't enough to wake her up.

When the kwami shooked her awake, everything hurt. She couldn't feel her legs and hands, her eyes seemed to roll out of their sockets any minute, and she was so freaking cold. It took her an hour to feel her fingers again, and Tikki used the time to lecture her about her sleeping habits. She had a point, not as if she would ever tell her that.

So yes, it was definitely Jeremy's fault. 

***

After breakfast and on Marinette's side, a few hectoliters of green tea, Mrs. Bustier and Miss Alarie, a relatively new teacher who was accompanying them on their trip, decided to take them on a walk. In Gotham. Even Marinette's sleep-deprived and frozen-over brain could see the fault in that plan. Multiple faults, to be exact.

But given that there was no responsible adult on sight - or a slightly intelligent goose who could point that out, - they went on a walk.

Mrs. Bustier went out front, Miss Alarie was at the end of the line, and Marinette was walking a few steps behind her because she liked to think she wasn't a complete idiot and had no desire to see all her classmates die from a threat she didn't see coming.

At least they were pretty entertaining to watch.

Adrien was reading a book he got the day before without looking up, not falling over once, which would've been impressive if he wasn't Chat Noir for three years in the past. Nino was listening to music with his headphones on - not realizing he forgot to plug it into his phone, so everyone could hear the electronic tones blaming from his speaker. Rose pushed her face to every single shop window they walked past, and Alix was trying very hard to not fall on her face in roller skates. Meanwhile, Mylene somehow got gum in her hair, which she and Ivan have been struggling to get out for the past half hour. 

Chloe was fighting with Lila over some celebrity's personal life, while next to them, Juleka and Sabrina were watching a movie on a small smartphone, with Max lecturing them about megabytes, satellites and something else, that also ended in '-ites'. Perhaps egg whites. Or gravesites. If she looked very hard, she could even notice the way Nathaniel moved to the rhythm of Nino's music while playing a game on Max's phone.

Kim seemed to be the only one actually looking at the buildings and people around them, and Alya was... well, Alya was live-tweeting everything. She tended to be a little over-enthusiastic sometimes.

The streets kept getting more and more familiar as they got near to the Wayne Tower. Marinette was just about to disappear and get to know the city's coffee machines when turning in the corner, someone ran into her. Literally.

She grabbed the poor man by his waist just in time to save him from falling on his face, but let go as soon as he got his balance back. She didn't like touching with people, especially not strangers.

"Huh, I'm sorry," he said, panting heavily. "I wasn't paying attention."

"It's fine," muttered Marinette, giving him a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

"Sure, just..." The man stopped, leaned on his knees, and tried to even out his breathing, "Just give me a minute."

Marinette glanced at her class walking away, not noticing her departure and found herself grateful for having a reason to sneak off for a bit.

She used the time to take a better look at the man. He was around thirty, tall and muscular, so he must've run a lot to be so out of breath. He was wearing an expensive suit. A very expensive designer suit, that matched his hair's rich black color perfectly. He looked like someone who just walked off a magazine's front page, except that his tie was messy - he probably tried to loosen it while running. However, the truly upsetting thing about him was - and Marinette had to check it multiple times to be sure, - that he had only one shoe.

His left side was fine, but on his right foot, there was nothing but a wet and dirty, Superman-themed sock.

"Okay, so let's start this over," the man said, straightening up and dusting off his suit-jacket. "Hi. I'm Dick. I'm sorry for bumping into you." He held out his hand for a handshake, which Marinette simply ignored, looking at him expectantly.

He let his arm down and dug into his hair awkwardly.

"Okay, so... you didn't happen to see a dog around here, did ya'? Big, brown, might've had a shoe in his mouth..."

"No," Marinette said slowly, masking her accent, but her thoughts were already flashing rapidly. "But how about I help you get your shoe back?" she started, noting the wary look Dick gave her.

He was about to ask her why on Earth would she do that but she lifted a finger, telling him to wait.

In Gotham, everything had a price, and she was familiar with that. She saw how embarrassed he was. She could work with that.

"And in exchange, you tell me how you lost it." She gave him a confident smile to convince him of her interest.

"How do I know you can help me?" he asked seriously, but there was a playful glare in his eyes.

"You don't. You're just going to have to trust me, Superman." 

With that, she started walking to the direction her class just came from. Dick paced after her easily and frowned.

"You know you shouldn't be walking around here alone, right?"

"I'm not alone. You're with me," she grinned.

"Yeah, well you shouldn't be walking around with strangers either."

She gave him a flat look and said, "You're wearing a Superman-themed sock and you lost your shoe. I figured you won't kill me for fun."

"Hey, have you heard of the Joker? He is a freakin' clown!"

"Everyone knows clowns are creepy," Marinette told him and that was enough for her to consider the topic closed.

Dick let out a resigned sigh and for a few moments, they walked in silence.

"Now what?" he asked finally.

"Now," Marinette said, opening the door to a butcher's shop, "we get some bait."

***

"Okay," She could see the gears turning in Dick's head, "but you have to promise you won't laugh."

"That wasn't part of the deal." 

They bought a few nice bones for the dog and were now walking around seemingly aimlessly, searching. They both knew exactly where they were but they weren't about to show that to the other.

Marinette grinned as Dick let out yet another sigh and started the story.

"So. I was sitting on a bench, having breakfast, minding my own business and stuff, ya' know?" Marinette hummed in agreement and almost told Dick to speak more slowly but she decided that would be too cruel. "So I'm sitting there, and then - don't laugh, I see you're about to laugh, - and then I feel something on my shoe. I look at it, and it's a freaking kitty! Like a legit, gray kitty playing with my shoelaces!" Marinette had a hard time keeping a straight face but kept nodding. "So naturally, I take off my shoe, because a kitty wants to play with me, and I have a heart, you know - stop grinning! - And I start to play with the cat because you should've seen her, she was adorable! But then here comes this big, dark blob running towards us, it's a fuckin' dog, you get it? Like what was the chance of that? And it's running with freaking light speed, - and I told you to stop grinning! - And it scares the kitty away, and then, - of course, my shoe is on the ground at this point, - he picks it up and runs off! Like what the hell?" he finally stopped gesticulating wildly and let out a frustrated groan.

"And you ran after it," Marinette continued, trying to hold back her laughter.

"Of course! I didn't think it was gonna disappear! I thought it'll run around a little, then lie down or something."

She continued grinning but Dick pointedly ignored her until they turned around a corner. Suddenly, he grabbed her arm and whispered cautiously.

"That's him!"

"Really? I thought it's a different big, brown dog chewing formal footwear," Marinette said quietly and brushed his hand off. 

She moved slowly but surely. She didn't go towards the dog, she crossed the street and set the bag of bones off, showing it to the animal. It was looking at her with murder in its eyes. She stood up and calmly walked back to Dick's side.

"Now, wait," she told him.

A minute passed before the dog walked to the bones, sniffed them, then started tearing the bag apart. Dick was staring at its fangs as Marinette tugged him by his shirt. She picked up the chewed shoe lying abandoned.

"Here you go," she told him, holding it up with only two fingers.

"Thanks." He grimaced. "How did you know he was going to be here?"

'I noticed this place when I was looking for potential escape routes for my class while walking. The dog didn't go to our direction, so it must've come this way, and this seemed like a good place to start.'

"I'm good with animals," she said instead, winking. "And by the way, how do you know it's a 'he'?"

"I just know. Instincts," he said while jumping on one leg, trying to put on his ruined shoe.

________________

Comments are my brain-food, comfort-food, and shit-I-forgot-I-have-an-exam-tomorrow-food, so penny for your thoughts!

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[wahbegan]

Review of HD Spooky Specimens

Yes, after finally giving in and playing the remastered version, a few of them actually merit re-assessment. Not all of them, but some. I wasn’t going to do this but THEN someone reblogged my original so what the fuck

Specimens 1, 2, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 13 all remain the same

#3 (ARACHNIPEDE yeah that’s pretty good right came up with it myself): So, first of all they fixed the “usually in the green room” bug, and now it basically always spawns, and actually comes out of the holes in the ceiling. More pressingly, the mad bastards made it EVEN BIGGER with SIGNIFICANTLY MORE LEGS and, as we’ve established, there is nothing that can’t be made scarier with more shitty little bug legs. Oh yeah, also its speed now seems to indicate it’s just had six cans of monster and a bunch of adderall and it’s about to shit its pants. Then they gave it a really good death screen! One of the only ones where you actually see the process of it killing you! Jesus christ! This thing’s perfect! Firing on all cylinders! They did it, they reached horrible perfection. This thing legitimately scares me now. I fucking hate it. Thank you for that. Previous score: 5/10. New score: 10/10.

#4: (For legal purposes we should clarify it is NOT Samara): The original remains unchanged, but in Endless Mode, which we’ll get to, they put in this new version that has a huge maw of gaping fangs and a bunch of extra arms, plus it twitches all over the damn place like it’s struggling with an epileptic disorder, or possibly Parkinson’s. This is all rather more effective than the usual form, and it has a new power with this weird static overlay effect that ends up basically blinding you before resetting with the sound of a camera, inexplicably, because the devs realized they forgot to suck Fatal Frame’s dick. It does make the chase much more tense, but it also treads that line between hectic and scary and just fucking annoying and frustrating, and occasionally drunkenly tumbles over it. Previous score: 4/10. New score: 6/10. 

#6 (Benjamin Puppetfucker): This, i think, is the only one where the changes in the new game made him significantly LESS frightening. More fair, definitely, but much less frightening. See, in the og, when he spawned, no matter where you were, he’d spawn right behind you. And if you looked at him too long he’d decide to just fucking cheat and teleport behind you. Also sometimes if you tried to hit him with the axe he’d decide to call FORCEFIELD like that obnoxious little shit on the playground we all knew and it wouldn’t take. Now he always spawns by the door and waits there like a good boy for you to calmly saunter over and split his fucking head open. Very good for working out my anger issues, but still. Previous score: 9/10. New score: 6/10.

#12 (URBAN EXPLORERS GONE WILD): Yeah, no, literally the only change they made to this guy is that they added a mechanic where when he sees you outside his mansion, a scare chord plays and he just starts fucking BOOKING it at you, like full on fucking Usain Bolt sprinting at you. Very simple tweak, but also it made me drench myself in piss. Only draw-back to scariness is he apparently has smoker’s lung and can only keep it up for like 2 seconds before he gets tired and has to take a breather. Previous score: 2/10. New score: 5/10. 

BONUS: ENDLESS MODE-

KH1 (Cop Popeye...Copeye?): Yeah, this guy is so slow and ineffective that he’s not even actually in endless mode, but I felt bad leaving him out. Kinda freaky looking? Idk. ACAB 2/10

KH2 (Body bag on loan from Arkham Asylum): He’s aiight. He’s a decent boy. I mean...the fog’s aiight. He’s pretty fast. I like that he fucks with the environment in KH, but there’s nothing really...special about him. He’s just kinda there. 4/10

KH3 (Excellent argument for abortion): So these things are viscerally extremely gross, and the sounds they make are god-awful, but they just refuse to go away, and the god-awful sounds stop being god-awful in a good way and start being god-awful in a decidedly gross way. They either block your way out of a room completely or just hang out and do nothing. Nuisance. Gross nuisance. 3/10

KH4 (The Incredible Teleporting Mummy in a Gown): Yes, I know it’s a hospital gown, shut up, i’m still technically right. Anyway, this dude’s spooky, teleports basically exactly the same way that Mr. Benjamin Puppetfucker does, but his presentation’s nice. I mean what do you want? It’s functionally the exact same monster, so same score. 6/10

KH5 (Now THAT’S what I call a Mad Cow): One of the coolest and most unique designs across any iteration of the game. I love it, especially in this with the glowing eyes and shit? Ooh, mwah, chef’s kiss. BUT....exact same issue Deer Guardian, Guardian of the Deer had. Unnnnfortunately, once you’re out of its maze, you realize that they put it in a maze because there’s really no other way it’s any kind of credible threat to your safety. Just kinda floats along. Doing its thang. It’s just vibin. 6/10. It gets one less point than Deer Guardian because it can’t even go through walls. Amateur.

KH6 (FUNNY TOPICAL REFERENCE THAT WILL AGE VERY WELL): This thing is legitimately freaky as fuck with its eyeless, grinning face and bloody fingers and weird intestine/floral designs on its dress, and the way it appears in front of exit doors is a nice change of page from the usual chase. Then it kills you and between its nonsense death screen and its name in the game files, you learn it’s a fUCKING Rebecca Black Friday joke. Well, that’s getting your score cut right the fuck in half, missy. 4.5/10 Ah shit, I just remembered that this is one of the like two monsters I legitimately dreaded running into, so FINE, terrible genesis to one side and give her an 8/10. I’m still docking her one point from the 9. I can’t let that shit go unpunished.

E1 (Whiteface. It’s literally Whiteface. You know, from Imscared.exe? Yeah that): Now when I say literally, I do mean quite literally. Like they got permission, i guess. So uh...we won’t judge based on that, i guess, since it is an official cameo. Interface screws are cool, second chance mechanic is unique and gross, I didn’t want to run into it, chase is like a bit overly long to where it starts dragging, though. Also since its supposed to be a sentient computer file that breaks the fourth wall, I get very distracted and hung up on the logistics of what the fuck it’s doing in this castle and it takes me right the fuck out of it. Let’s call it a 7/10. 

E2 (Otto the Otter (yes that is its real in-game name)): I, too, hate Five Nights at Freddy’s, and this thing is very obviously not supposed to be scary, it’s supposed to be hilarious and petty and kind of adorable. And he succeeds beautifully. I felt myself cheering for him. I almost wanted to let him kill me so he’d feel good about himself. I love you, Otto. You’re my boy. 10/10

E3 (OH GOD THAT’S NOT E.T.): I fucking love this monster. The soundtrack and interface fuckery are great, the chase mechanic is unlike anything else, it’s truly original, and it’s disturbing in a much more subtle and low-key way that this game is generally sorely lacking. I love this kid infected with an interdimensional parasitoid! At least that’s what I think it is. Hey, if you have a better explanation, I’d love to hear it, smarty pants. (10/10)

E4 (Wolfu, the Wolf Waifu): I’m so conflicted about this thing. I love its gimmick, I love that it sends you to a forest to be ripped apart by wolves, I love the shadow animals. But it’s a fucking anime girl. A FUCKING anime girl!!! I....??? Why is this creature of indeterminate age deliberately drawn to look somewhere between 13 and 16 floating after me? Why does it have catgirl trappings? Why am I suddenly stricken with the unshakable and truly dire knowledge that there is fetish porn of it somewhere? 5/10.

E5 (Lisa it’s just Lisa from P.T.): oKAY, SO. Blatant plagiarism aside (this isn’t like the Whiteface thing, it’s more like the Mermaid Puss being directly lifted out of Amnesia thing), this monster is incredibly effective. Terrifying. Horrible death screen, number one enemy I dreaded seeing. BUT her chase really is obnoxiously long, especially with the looping room number, and eventually you figure out that she doesn’t teleport while you’re looking at her, she just turns invisible to psych you out, so if you just walk backwards she can’t do shit. I’ll still give her a 9/10, but with the caveat that if I wanted to play P.T...I’d just fucking play-Oh. God damn it.

[sonderrow-moved]

Heavy in hand, his thumb against pinkened tip and the ooze of white droplets bud at the slit. Though it wasn't embarrassing it was a new experience to witness that hunger before him yet not on top or beneath him as he stroked his cock for his love. A moment of me time, a hunger for something other than just ramming his vampire up a wall and taking when he needed, Olu' instead remained sat in one of Archer's office chairs, his thighs spread in thick jeans and his dick in palm, erect and weeping -

with each stroke from base to tip. The arch of his dick was heavy; thick and thicker almost in girth but it had a slant to the left. If it wasn’t held, the organ would rest over hip moreso than remain upright, but it was a good bend. It got to Archer’s prostate more than enough times to not be a hinder to his ministrations when he thought about it. A tightening of fingers and a low grunt behind teeth - a lick of fang, as his wrist flicked, twisting in the slick grasp. A twitch in thighs, curl of toes in boots and his brow flinched with a steady breath. Faster, his hand moved, bicep straining with the tightness of his thumb around the front of his length, fingers beneath squeezed his favoured area of a bulging vein that never ceased to make his head lull back a touch with a breathless moan.

Though fighting it, to give Archer the eye contact he desired, to focus on his lovers expression, the scent of his deep belly heat and within moments of watching those lips and thighs, the lion, roared with his piqued orgasm. A steady and almost sudden eruption of white from the slit. A copious amount splattered up the dark skin over Olu’s exposed stomach, staining over muscles and wrist, fingers covered in droplets as his hand squeezed over base to stroke up in the newfound wetness, pulling, dragging and forcing out ever drop as his teeth bared in a feral growl upon finally reaching his limit.

Heaving a breath, his hand released his twitching cock to rest over stomach; as body relaxed from its once taut rapture and in turn, his low-lid gaze drifted from his mess to the vampire across from him. A smirk lazy upon lines and a lick to lips to smear sweat aside as he basked in the afterglow - even if it was a mess before his love. Allowing to watch the last pulsations of coming, over his hip. Tail lazy, curled under tail, as head rested back and gaze remained on his love. Watching every detail of that man who held himself back for the show. “Good?” Smirk.

.   .   .   .   .   .

There was no way the scent would go away quickly afterwards. That was Archer’s first thought as he never thought Oluwayemisi would visit his office; he’d always try to divert the attention elsewhere. This… wasn’t… professional… but when was he ever around this man? Surely this started when Olu noticed how much Archer would scrutinize at other people as part of his work. Dancers, waiters, bartenders, receptionists, strippers, prostitutes… the whole type of staff with a very distinct task in hand: sex appeal to patrons. Personally speaking, the raven didn’t… entirely hate it. Very rarely, but it happened, someone genuinely his taste would come up. Yet, it wasn’t as…

… this, right now, wasn’t the same thing at all.He tried. He tried to keep the same composure he normally had during his tasks, but he knew his expression was melting the more time passed, grateful his lion wasnt looking.

Did Olu know what he was doing right now? How many times Archer wondered before if this man ever had a penchant for those kind of things, fire building up inside of him whenever he’d see the man rip another person apart. He was feeling more and more lightheaded, like he was about to pass out but no, he couldn’t, he couldn’t miss this.

From under his dress pants, his garter belt and underwear, it took every bit of patience from the sire to hold back. Even his shadow kept wanting to trail up his own body, dying from participating. His thin lips slightly opened, unable to hold a deep, nearly moaning breath. But he kept the same position, torso bending forwards, elbows on knees, face resting on his hands, fingers hiding his watering mouth…

Everywhere he looked would spike his desires, all wrapped into his office furniture, contrasting so strongly with the man sitting at his own chair. The city nightlife lights through the glass walls up at the building highest floor kept licking over Oluwayemisi’s strong, dangerously erotic shape, and the raven’s sharp eyes lightened up in hunger despite having being actually fed plenty tonight.

Despite keeping his composure, from Olu’s perspective, who had known his Queen very well for a long time, there was with no doubt, behind this piercing gaze, a worshipping awe, a pride that had been rolled over by a sight too strong to not falter. As he felt his King’s climax from across the room, Archer couldn’t keep a low growl silent.

“Good?”

What could he even reply to that face and voice? The man had enough confidence to know what he was doing. Unable to resist anymore, Archer got up his seat, naked fingers gliding on his phone as he turned the office lights off, making the outside the only source of light. He bent forwards atop of Olu, a nice tug slacking his tie until it was off and undoing the button of his shirt.

“You were better than good…” His lips approached his lion’s, although not kissing them. Not right away… and then the sire laughed. A hearty, delighted laugh softly echoed in the room, with a tone so velvety and soft, so unusual to Archer, you’d think someone else was in the room. “… ha, that’s when I’d say something really cool to not lose face, but… who am I kidding…” His face lowered above his King’s shoulder. A cold, dexterous hand sliding on the dark, stained skin, lavishly caressing Olu’s cock, teasing for more movements, a slight rub where it felt right, before the raven took a handful, slowly turning his touch into a noisy, firm, serie of sensitive strokes. “You were so good, I could barely stand in place. I just wanted to ravage every inch I was watching.”

One hand undid his own dark dress pants, making his open shirt fall to his elbow, showing off Archer’s bare chest. His fangs held onto the lion’s jeans before ripping the crotch area open. The second hand quickly sliding off the underwear on his still seating lover’s ass, the cum drenched fingers sliding atop the entrance, already feeling the twitching.

Undoing one button of his tight briefs, the vampire quickly positioned himself, his large, cozy office chair rolling by the push of his body atop his feline, a loud, dry *TACK!* being heard as it collided with the large window, illuminating every glorious details on Olu’s dark skintone. The King’s legs were raised knees up in the air, one strong thigh covered in sumptuous scars held firm by Archer’s strength. One finger slid in, rolling torturously against the already throbbing anal walls. Looks like the bat wasn’t the only one quickly worked up.

As his meddlings kept brushing around the prostrate on tortuous purpose, the sire gave his lover one long kiss before he spoke up in a honeyed voice. “Let’s make something clear…” His major finger kept going back and forth, squelching sounds incresing while the index was already slowly pushing its way in.

“At home, you fucked me on every surface and corner possible… filled me up to the brim while I lost my mind and kept pounding my hips into yours.” 

The touch went further in, finding the prostrate, rubbing its edges, in circle, pressing directly on it as Archer read his King’s heavy breathing and tensing muscles like an open book, his own cock throbbing in excitement. Wrist bending to reach deeper, moving back and forth to keep every nerve on edge. The vampire’s own cold breath quickened, groans and moans escaping by the built up heat. From guilt beforehand, the more Archer saw Olu’s enjoyment, the melting expression his stern face gave and the incessant pulses of pleasure his body bent into, those moments turned so…… dangerous. It kept slowly, but surely wake up part of him that kept wanting to see more. The very beginning of his obsession of seeing such a man beg, moan and tremble and lose himself in pleasure because of him…

“But here… this is my territory.”

Archer pulled out, his wet hand taking hold of the lion’s second thigh, putting it firmly upwards just like the other.

“And I’m going to fuck you blind properly on every piece of this office.”

His cock then shoved right up to the hilt in one go, the dry length bringing in a delightful, high pain despite Olu’s prepped ass coating Archer’s own girth in fluids. The walls were bent to his shape, sucking the raven deep in while he was already moving, not taking his time with this like earlier; no, he was going at it, rocking the chair against the thick, bulletproof wall. Have the King’s darker flesh quiver, see his large chest bounce under those short breathed gasps and loved whispers to his Queen. Before the sire’s planned enjoyment would melt in passion, pleasure taking over as he’d pound the other with nothing in mind but reach in deeper, fucking him with strong and steadfast shake of hips. The belt of his pants still at Archer’s kept clinking, only sound slightly louder than the dripping mix of fluids building up between the two of them, the city lights gleaming on the strands of cum coating the heir’s cock whenever he pulled out, then slammed in hard.

“Fuck…” The raven swore between his gritted fangs, realizing again how much he wanted this man, desired him. How much no amount of cumming would seem to be enough to satiate his thirst. With the liquid pooling in a puddle on the chair now clearly ruined seat, with its rest also quickly ripped by Olu’s nails, and the bat’s clawing against the glass with such strength, it could have shattered any type of lesser quality.

Nonetheless, all tasks for the night were postponed to the next one.

[ivedonestranger]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Titans (Animated Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dick Grayson/Raven, Koriand'r/Garfield Logan, Jinx/Victor Stone Characters: Robin (DCU), Raven (DCU), Koriand'r (DCU), Garfield Logan, Jinx (DCU), Victor Stone, Kitten Walker Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Bad Decisions, Secret Relationship, Team as Family Series: Part 1 of RobRae Week 2019 Summary:

There was a plan, though stupid, and it didn't work.

Prompt #1 "I worry about you" for RobRae Week 2019!

---

My first entry to RobRae Week 2019! You can read it on either AO3, FF.net or under the cut!

FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13254786/1/The-Brilliant-Plan AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18384164

"You know, I worry about you."

Robin had landed his last roundhouse kick on the training bag when his friend Raven spoke the words. She had been silent for more of the training, sitting cross-legged on the floor watching him train. He scooped up the towel that was on the floor and pressed it against his sweating face.

"I'm sorry?"

"I worry about you," Raven continued rolling on to her back and tilting her head back to look at him. "You train so hard all the time and have no fun."

Robin cocked an eyebrow looking at his friend who had decided to stay behind when the rest had decided to go to the mall. Robin was glad because Cyborg had been yelling at Beast Boy for losing one of his pieces of technology. Robin did not know which but he really did not care. Initially, she had planned to check out the new bookstore that had come to Jump City but at the last moment changed her mind. She had been sitting there watching him since.

"I have fun," Robin answered bending over and grabbing his gym bag, fishing around for his sports bottle. Raven gave a purr, and Robin turned to face her with a raised eyebrow sucking down the delicious gaterade.

"Something wrong, Rae?"

"Just enjoying the view."

At that, the other eyebrow went up.

"You've never been quite this expressive before," Robin commented walking over to his gear, hooking up his belt, and tapping on his arm pad.

"Well, the others are gone, and I feel more comfortable," Raven said, her amethyst eyes watching him. She rolled on to her belly and propped her chin on her hands.

"I think I'm more worried about you, Raven," Robin said going back to his gym bag and picking it up. "Have you had a chance to meditate?"

"Don't wanna. I like this emotion I am feeling." Raven said with a grin.

"And which one is that?"

"Lust."

Robin froze, his mind trying to calculate what was being said to him and the implications of the words.

"I'm going to go take a shower, Rae, you might want to go meditate. We had a deal."

"What deal? I like you, and you like me. I think we should talk more about it."

Robin walked out of the room to take his shower.

Robin had started the shower to fill the room with a cloud of steam then went to shave before getting in. His mind was busy running through all the possibilities that had been put out there. Since today, Raven had gone from being quiet and sarcastic to talkative and quite forward with her thoughts. It was actually the fact that she did not know about the deal that told him what he needed to know.

Grabbing his towel and wrapping it around him, he made his way to the shower that was running and pulled back the curtain. He froze for a second trying to figure out his next move, but the gentle nudge in the back of his mind made him relax. Standing in the shower, under the hot stream, Raven stood, every gray curve out for him to see. She looked over her shoulder at him with a sexy smile.

"Found this empty shower. Wanna share?"

Robin sighed.

"Who are you?"

Raven frowned. "I'm Raven. Can't you see?"

She gestured to her naked body which Robin tried his best not to look.

"You aren't Raven."

The girl in the shower frowned and folded her arms across her chest. "if you don't want me then just say so. Maybe I've misread all the signals but who the hell do you think I am? If I'm not Raven, who is?"

"Me."

The voice came from the right of the room, and the two turned to see the dark leotard form of the exact girl in the shower. The naked girl in the shower paled and fell back against the stream.

"I'm glad you got my message, Rae," Robin said stepping to the side so Raven could peer in at the naked girl cowering in the corner, the water pounding on her. "this happened."

"I see," Raven answered leaning over casually and turning the water to cold. "I see you kept it in your pants."

"Hey! I think I was really quick in spotting the impostor."

Raven stared at the girl who was not shivering in the bitter cold stream of water.

"How did you figure it out?"

"The ring," Robin said pointing to it. "After Cyborg was yelling that Beast Boy lost it, I recognized the missing holographic ring. Not to mention she didn't know about the deal."

"Oh."

"Deal?" the girl squeaked in the torrent of icy water.

"Yeah," Raven grinned like a predator. "Robin and I have been engaged for four months. Promised not to sleep with each other until after we are married."

"Engaged?!" the girl squeaked in shock and horror. Raven turned the water colder silencing her.

"Who do you think is under the disguise? Jinx?" Robin asked enjoying the game that Raven had started.

"Nah, she's in Cy's room waiting till he comes home. The girl is not as sneaky as she thinks she is." Raven said shaking her head.

"I know," Robin groaned. "Starfire can't be quiet worth a damn. She tripped over her own feet trying to get to Beast Boy's room last night. The whole tower knows they are a couple by now."

"Well, we're not innocent. We haven't told them about us." Raven said putting her head on Robin's shoulder. "We might want to tell them we know and what our secret is. We are a team."

"P...pppp…..please….I'm…. I'm cold."

The two broke out of their conversation to look at the naked doppelganger who was still shivering in the cold shower. Raven put her hand out, and the girl reluctantly tugged the ring off. The image of Raven evaporated to show the wet, blond hair and dark eyes that were filled with a mixture of hurt and embarrassment.

"Kitten?" Robin said surprised.

"Hi," she answered.

"Leave," Raven ordered pushing on Robin's shoulder. He did not question his fiance but strode out the door hearing Cyborg coming down the hall.

Raven turned off the shower, and the girl slumped to the floor. Raven draped a towel over her shoulder which Kitten hugged.

"So, it's true," Raven said softly. "I heard from Fang in one of our battles."

"It's not my fault that I fall for things I can't have," Kitten whispered softly, looking imploringly in Raven's eyes.

"I wanted to hate him, I wanted to hate you. I wanted to make Fang jealous but even when he was playing nice to save the city or when he was willing to come to rescue me from Kwiz Kid-"

"Which you set up."

"-Yeah, he was still willing to. I never had someone go that far for me. I...I thought I could use you to get close and let him know who I really was. I even started a clothing line with the help of my dad. Moth resistant clothing brand. I wanted to show him I was different. I just needed something to hold over his head so he would listen to me."

"Stupid plan."

"I know."

They were silent for a few moments before Kitten let out a ragged sigh.

"I'm sorry, Raven."

"You're fine, dear. I understand."

Raven went to her locker and pulled out sweat pants and a shirt and gave it to the girl who was drying off. Through the entire conversation, Raven had been watching her emotions and felt only genuine feelings. As much as she wanted to smite the daughter of Killer Moth for even thinking she could steal Robin, it did not feel right.

Dressed, the two walked out of the community showers and found Robin standing guard while Beast Boy was arguing with him.

"Listen! My shower is broken, and I need to take one. Cyborg threw me in the pond!"

"You asked for it," Cy said. "I told you not to try and foist that girl on me."

They all stopped when they saw Raven and Kitten.

"Ummm...what is she doing here?" Starfire growled from down the hall.

"She came to visit Robin and I," Raven said evenly. "Kitten had some...uh...business ideas to discuss."

The room was silent for a moment before Beast Boy crossed arms and looked directly at the two birds.

"Okay, I know you guys are together but really? A threesome with Kitten?"

Robin's jaw dropped open in surprise while Raven's eyes turned dark in anger. They had no chance to say anything because Cyborg looked shocked.

"You're dating! And you didn't feel like telling your best friends that you two were a couple. I'm hurt, just hurt."

Starfire was nodding her head vigorously in agreement.

"Hey, Cy," Raven said calmly. "Better take a sandwich to your bedroom. Jinx's been in there for a little while and is probably hungry."

Cyborg froze, looked between the eyes that fell on him and grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, good idea."

"I thought so," Raven glared, and the tin man hurried away.

"And Star," Robin called to the Tamaranian. "Try using less fluffy slippers when sneaking around. It'll keep you from tripping yourself."

The Princess' face exploded into a sea of color, and she quickly retreated.

Robin looked to find Kitten sitting on the ground laughing to the point that she could not breathe.

"This...this cheered me up."

Once Kitten had left, after begging one hug from Robin, the two birds found themselves on the community couch. Raven had snuggled in under his arm as he was channel surfing. Since the secret was out, she had no issue showing the affection she had learned to express. Robin kissed the woman he loved on her forehead sending the wordless message of his love to her. She teleported one of her books to her hand and snuggled in to read while he watched a movie.

"You...you watching Killer Martians VS Giant Dinos?"

Robin looked to the doorway from the quarters and saw Cyborg standing there sheepishly and the pink feline eyes of Jinx peering around to look at him.

"Yep."

"Mind if we join?"

"It's your house as much as mind, Cy," Robin smiled in Jinx's direction.

The pinkette hopped on Cy's lap and pulled a lap blanket over her as the rather violent movie began. Within a few minutes, Starfire and Beast Boy showed up holding hands and silently nodded to Robin as they curled up in the center between Raven and Jinx.

As the movie played and the sun began to set, Robin looked at his team and the new dynamic that had been created. At this moment, he could feel the old Titans fading and a new era starting. The little things that Starfire and Beast Boy did and the loving glances Jinx and Cyborg shared.

There was a lot to talk about. Jinx's status the most since she never really said if she was going to be an honorary Titan or not. It could be a sticky situation, and Robin did not know if she could fit in their world.

"I ordered pizza," Jinx said dropping her hot pink phone with sequins into her lap. "It'll be here in 20."

Maybe she could fit after all. That could wait till tomorrow. They had a movie to watch.

[justalosersdiaryofmisery-blog]

A Necessarily Sober Night’s Ramblings

    I’m sitting here in my bed, writing on a shitty, hundred dollar netbook that rests on a book thicker than my fist to prevent overheating. The floor of my room is covered in a disgusting salad of dirty laundry, trash, and books, all sprinkled with a frustrating amount of cat litter from the box a few feet to my right. A space heater with more personal space than anything else in the place keeps me warm in the mornings and nights, and the fan that’s blowing my hair at  the moment keeps me cool during the afternoon and whenever else I’ve been drinking.

    I’ve got Altered Carbon playing beside my word processor; just started watching it. It’s impossible for me to focus on any one thing, so its there just to keep the excess ‘brain energy’ or what have you busy while I try and write this all out. All this nonsense. The lamp resting on my nightstand, which is currently sitting in the midst of the chaotic disaster that is my floor rather than being pressed up against a wall, is annoying but helps keep the anxiety down a bit.

    The anxiety is still drumming my heart and shaking my hands, but it would be worse in the dark. I enjoy knowing what’s surrounding me. If I turn off the light, I can only assume what rests in the darkness. I don’t think there’s any monsters hiding beneath my bed amidst the beer cans and paper plates, I’m not a child. But there’s knowing, and then there’s knowing. When the light is gone, the whole world becomes Schrodinger's fun house.

    Plus, if I turn out the lights, the odds I step on a sharp piece of aluminum on my way to the bathroom magnify ten fold. Foot lacerations are the fucking worst. Slicing your palm isn’t that bad because you don’t always have to have your dick in your hand. Plus, for the most part, your always aware of the palms of your hands. You forget the bottoms of your feet, and the trail of blood you leave behind is a bitch and a half to clean up.

    Not that I’d clean it from my own carpeted floor, but there’s certain expectations for the world outside the stained and battered walls of my bedroom. Smiles required, pleasantries demanded; it’s a whole other ball game out there. That’s not some dramatic piece of speculation either. When I was a child my parents threatened to beat the frowns from my face and decried my silent coming and goings as disrespectful disobedience. Now that I am a man in age and burden if not status however, I am free to move more freely. The habits have already taken root though.

    Despite my already volcanic anxieties simmering and sizzling beneath my flesh, I’m having another energy drink, my third of the day. I went to the store earlier for something fizzy and calorie free to drink, and despite knowing I must be wary of caffeine, I was swayed by a little sticker promising ‘3 for $5!’. It’s a rare moment that I’m without thirst, but unless I have sweat through my clothes in exhaustion (an even rarer moment) or am exceptionally hung over, drinking water gives me heartburn.

    It’s a touch allegorical, really. Water, that most basic material of life, burns the ever living shit out of my throat.

    People don’t take caffeine seriously enough. It’s just like any other drug, if a bit milder. At first it puts a bounce in my step, then in a few minutes my mind will be racing with dark thoughts and fears, and if I go without it for too long my head feels like someone is taking an ice pick to the top of my skull. Sometimes the initial jauntiness is worth it though. That ‘sometimes’ keeps me coming back.

    There it is. Reading this back, you won’t remember the pauses between sentences, the distraction filled minutes as Altered Carbon takes priority over writing between paragraphs. I say that so it won’t feel quite so jarring when I say that anxiety is carving a butcher’s knife through my gut and up my sternum after just mentioning the jauntiness caffeine can bring.

    Anxiety and just a hint of anger are filling me. Thinking on it now, and exploring this idea for the first time (though I’ve brushed against it like a virgin schoolboy ‘accidentally’ bumping into a pretty girl before), I’m realizing there’s always anger somewhere in this stack of flesh. Anger I was bred into, that was taught to me, beat into me. It’s always there. Just, I keep it buried away and hidden. Once, I did that so that I wouldn’t get in trouble, so that I would be safe. Now I do it so that the people around me will be happier.

    The only people I’ve ever intentionally physically hurt are my male family members. My younger brother, in adolescent rage reminiscent of my father’s, has been strangled, punched, thrown, and kicked. It was never unprovoked, but always unearned given the severity. I never bruised or truly damaged him, but still. Trauma is trauma. The words I spewed at him were instinctively and specifically chosen to hurt him, to damage him. It’s left me with a quandary similar to that of the chicken and the egg. Did his little man complex come from my infrequent but scarring abuse, or were the assaults unleashed by his constant needling and provocations?

    Then there’s my father. Him I tried to kill once. He was drunk, and violent. He was roaring and screeching with anger at my mother, worse than normal. I went to figure out what the fuck was going on, he put his hands on me, and I snapped. I threw him to the ground, and amidst his punches and slaps and scratches I began to choke him. Tears and spit pouring from my face I bared my fangs and produced more animalistic sounds than actual speech.

    My mother was futilely trying to pull me off, begging me to stop. I didn’t care. I was beyond reason at that point, my id was in full control. Like a flare in a moonless night however, a thought brought me to a stop. I had my second day of work at a new job the next day, and couldn’t afford to spend at least the night and next day in jail for murder. That lone, paragonal thought amidst a sea of frothing rage was all that saved my father’s life.

    Other than those two examples however, I’ve never allowed myself to be a violent person. Or rather, I’ve never had the courage for it. I get the fight or flight shakes just from passing a slow moving vehicle, let alone a face to face confrontation. I wonder if that’s who I am, or who I was made to be.

    My first girlfriend, who could technically be called my ex-fiancee if you don’t dismiss a six month, hormone-fueled, teenage puppy love engagement, was victim to some verbal abuse throughout the two or so years we spent together. She was a piece of work herself though, and although I cringe to think back on my words and feelings back then, I don’t think less of the man I am today for them. I see it as character growth. She cheated on me, lied to me, and was certifiably crazy herself. She and I have both come a long way since then though, and I’ve learned to be a better man based on the awful example I set for myself.

    I say we’ve both come a long way, but in reality, she’s got a college degree and is dating a successful musician while working for a governor. I’ve got a GED, am entirely alone, and as of the end of March jobless. There was a brief spike in my life a little over a year ago. I only weighed one-hundred and sixty pounds, I was on the second rung of the company I worked for’s ladder, I had a girlfriend, I was happy. That’s all long gone now though.

    See, even though I hunt for zero calorie sodas and energy drinks, I still eat too much food. I drink too much alcohol. I lay around in bed like a fucking pile of ooze. I was going to call myself a slug, but even those invertebrates get more exercise than I do. I probably weigh Two-ten by now. Two-fifteen maybe. I’m sure if I were sitting on a scale right now it’d read in the two-twenties, between my clothes, belly full of spaghetti sauce-drenched pizza, and general fat ass.

    As of today I’m twenty-two years old, five-eight in the morning and in shoes, with short brunette hair and just the one tattoo, a coyote on my left arm. My upper right arm and my left ‘tit’ are covered in scars. I have a handful spread over the rest of my skin; faded ones all across my legs, one across my stomach, one on my right ‘tit’, three partially faded bands on my right forearm. All self-inflicted, obviously. I have a small patch of fur all across my chin that struggles to reach the center of my lower lip, stubble spreading back from it towards my throat, and a curled moustache above my mouth.

    I fucking hate when television shows have non-English parts. It prevents me from being able to just spend the extra ‘brain energy’ on them, and instead I have to divert more of my direct attention to follow along.

    Sometimes I want to carve out my own eye. Even though my left eye is (diagnosedly so) the weaker of the two, whenever I envision it, it’s always the right one I slice out like an avocado pit. The cut would start close to the center of my forehead and run all the way down to my jaw, stopping just a hair over the line and onto my throat.

    I don’t think that comes from any weird sort of mutilationist fetish, or one of those weird (Ha, who am I to judge?) mental illnesses where a part of your body feels alien. I think its just a desire for attention? If that’s the right way to phrase it. I want to be special, look special. All those bad-ass pirates and fantasy characters have facial scars, typically over their eyes, and I want to be like them. I want to be special.

I want to be special. I want to be important. I want to feel like I actually matter. No amount of self reaffirmation has ever been enough for me. I’ve always needed ‘affirmation’ from others, and I’ve rarely ever received it. And it can’t be just anyone who gives it to me, it has to be someone special, someone whom I respect. The words of those I subconsciously deem as ‘below’ me mean absolutely nothing, no matter how reverential or supporting.

As for who I respect, which isn’t the right word at all, I’m not really sure. Beautiful women. Impressive men. Members of authority. People with experience in fields that I respect (this time it is the right word). I’ve had coworkers who practically begged me to hang out, less than attractive women who nearly molested me in their flirtations. All it ever did was annoy and nearly disgust me.

It’s a strange dichotomy, my ego and self-loathing. On one hand, I’m disgusted by myself. I look in the mirror and see a hideous, fat, disgusting, waste of human existence who could die tomorrow without the world so much as blinking. On the other hand, I recognize my intellect, sense of humor, virtues, and what few skills I have as being exceptional.

I hate myself, but somehow still place myself above others.

It’s funny how little self control I have compared to what little drive I have. I crave love, yet haven’t been able to muster the willpower to eat healthy and exercise. I crave fortune, yet haven’t been able to finish writing (Really writing, with editing and everything) a book. I crave attention, yet stay hidden away in my room and when out in public avoid standing out at all. When I crave a McChicken, I’ll drive to the McDonalds across town at 3 AM for it.

I guess I’m just short sighted. Back when I still played chess, I could never think more than a single move ahead. When a problem has a single-step solution, I can find it near instantly, no matter how obscure or obfuscated it is. Throw in just one more step, however, and suddenly I’m lost as an orphan looking for his mother in a department store.

That applies to long term goals too, even when the answer is spelled out for me step by fucking step. Step one, cut the calories down to less than two-thousand. Step two, take the dog(s) for a walk everyday. Step three, repeat steps one and two for the next six months. Just like that, I go from fat lard-face to looking like a young Leonardo DiCaprio.

But I just don’t do it. The one time I succeeded with a diet, it was based on routine. Every morning on my way to work, I’d get two McDonalds burritos with mild sauce and a large diet coke, no ice. Every night after work, same thing. Right now, jobless and hopeless, there is no routine in my life. That’s just an excuse though, I know that. Doesn’t mean I fucking do anything about it.

It also helped that back then I spent every night with a woman I was in love with. Kira. Black haired, thin as a skeleton, cheek bones like daggers. Her nails were more like claws, and she’s never without her eyeliner that stretch out like wings from her beautiful brown eyes.

When we met, she hated me, so of course I sought her approval. She hated me just because I sat in her spot one time. She, never to my face, called me an inbred hobbit. After several random encounters at work (which is where I met her), we also bumped into each other at the vape store. A casual, friendly conversation lead to her messaging me at work the next day, and a friendship quickly formed.

After that, it didn’t take long for love to form. One sided love. I asked her out, she rejected me. My love diminished but quickly re-blossomed. I confessed full-blown honest to god love to her. Again, she rejected me, with a full (and requested) letter explaining why. That letter tore me to pieces. Not because it destroyed my hopes for ever having her, but because every reason she listed was (to my eyes) nonsense.

She said I wasn’t artistic, I consider myself to be a great story crafter and a half-decent writer. She said she thought I’d be controlling and possessive, when I am nothing of the sort. She said I wasn’t ‘edgy’ enough, in so many words, even as I carved my flesh into ribbons. Even to this day, when she describes her perfect partner’s personality, she describes me to a T, or at least to a lower-case t.

I treat our bond as though we are siblings, and I believe that’s how she sees me, though I feel a much stronger love than that for her whilst single, and she feels nothing for me. She treats me like garbage. One time I begged her for company, knowing that if left alone I’d make an attempt on my life, and she said no. No one else came either, but I thought she of all people would understand and care. But she didn’t. And despite the handle of vodka, bottle of nyquil, assortment of pills, and sheer amount of blood loss I endured that night, I lived to suffer the pain of her betrayal.

With her it’s always apologies and broken promises. She’s sorry she abandoned me for the millionth time to be with her new abusive boyfriend, she promises it won’t happen again. She’s sorry she disappeared without a word of warning, and promises she’ll warn me in the future. She’s sorry that she broke her promises, she promises it won’t happen again.

And yet I love her. I’ve given her thousands of dollars. I’ve bought her over a hundred meals. I take care of her when everyone else abandoned her. I helped her get her shit together when agoraphobia had grabbed hold of her. I’ve given her everything I could possibly give, sacrificed everything she’s ever asked for or needed that I had.

But its never enough for her. It never will be. She will never care about me and my needs. I don’t need her romantic love, as much as I would enjoy it. But never once has she sacrificed for me. Never once has she gone out of her way to make me happy. She gave me a stack of ‘coupons’, to be redeemed for things such as ‘a guaranteed hang out session’ or ‘You can pick the music all day’. The one time I tried to redeem one, the first one I mentioned, she blew me off.

But of course, she moved to a whole other state for her drug addicted, physically and verbally abusive boyfriend. Then when she came back I took her back following a promise that she was completely done with him. I’m sure she will, or already has, broken that promise.

Despite all that, she is the most important person in my life. The thought of her killing herself makes me genuinely want to die too. Without her, there’d be absolutely no one in my life that I truly love. She is a fire amidst a barren tundra without which I’d freeze to death, even if she flickers in and out of existence that I’ve wished to  die in her absence.

My only other friend is Whitney. The strangest person I’ve ever known, and one of the most genuinely wholesome and good people you could ever have the pleasure of meeting. She’s sweet, kind, caring, generous, intelligent, and fun. She’s also asexual, so there’s no hope for romance there either. She lives a busy life, between college and work, so it’s rare I ever get to see her.

    Everyone else in my life is temporary, fleeting. They either abandon me purposely or drift away like clouds.

    My last girlfriend, the only other serious one I’ve had besides my ‘ex-fiancee’, abandoned me out of the blue. One moment, she was saying that she loved me and that I was her perfect man. The next, she provided a list of issues she had with me and said that they were irreconcilable. She left me with trust issues that have plagued every attempt at romance I’ve had since. I lost my virginity to that girl.

    And when we broke up, you know what happened? Her shit head best friend went and spread all of my personal information to our mutual friends, in a horrific way that painted me to be a violent and hurtful man who was ruining her life. And they believed him. Even though he was known to be an over-dramatic, hyper-aggressive piece of shit, they believed him. In spite of all the good things I’d done for them and absolutely no personal experience with me to back his words up, they took it as gospel. I had non-romantic commitment issues before then, but damned if they weren’t magnified ten fold after that.

    Every other romantic trist I had after her has had its issues. One time, whilst I was seeing a shrink and given pills that amplified my anxieties to levels beyond my control, I went full blown crazy with a girl. Demanded to know where she was, why she was ignoring me, sent over thirty texts in as many minutes. I quit that medicine the moment I ‘came down’.

    Another I ‘broke up’ with after we agreed that she couldn’t handle just hanging out in my car, and I can’t handle going to clubs. Another couple ghosted me. Another was even flakier than Kira, and far more blatant about it. Another just wasn’t that into me, even if he (an FtM transgender person) wouldn’t admit it.

    Right now, the biggest source of my anxiety is the fact that Kira has yet again disappeared. I’m used to that, but this time she explicitly said she would text me ‘soon’ when we hung out three days ago. The girl is a fucking suicidal drug addict, and doesn’t care about the pain it causes me when she disappears like this. The fears and anxieties that fill me hurt so bad you wouldn’t believe it. I’ve told her this countless times. She just, doesn’t, care.

    I want to punch something, tear my room apart. Its a disgusting mess now, but the mess is settled at least. A path to the door amidst the refuse, big piles pushed against the walls. It could be much, much worse. I feel like I’m about to explode, all these feelings bursting out of my fucking rib cage. But she doesn’t care about that. All she cares about is herself.

    There’s only two people in the entire world I’ve truly cared for, like really, wholly, undeniably loved and felt empathy for. My ‘ex-fiancee’, and Kira. But even for those I didn’t feel that way for, Whitney or my ex-girlfriend, I treat them right. Better than right. I buy them gifts, I look after them, I tell them I love them, I do my best to be the best friend or boyfriend I can be.

    I’m a heartless monster, but at least I have the manners to act better than that.

    You know something, I legitimately can’t remember the last time I cried. Probably when Kira and I first started becoming friends, she demanded I open up and tell her everything if I wanted her to do the same. So I did, and I broke down. Since then, not a drop. I just don’t have it in me. I’m tired. I’m tired of being alive, but outside of drunken and seemingly random spikes of suicidal ideations, I’m too scared of death to try and kill myself tonight.

    The thought of death, of everything just disappearing, terrifies me. It has since I was a little kid, we’re talking four or five years old. I don’t want to die, I never want to die. I want to live forever, or at least to know that there is reincarnation or an afterlife. I fear the ocean too, specifically being in the middle of the water with no land in sight and seeing a silhouette approaching me. But that’s not what my fear of death is. That’s a shock, a jump in my seat when I watch a video on youtube.

    My fear of death is primal, unadulterated terror. It keeps me up at night, it forces me to keep a light on when I want to sleep, it gave me a love for twilight hours as they brought an end to the darkness when I was a child. It brought me peace.

    Kira finally texted me back, simply saying ‘’I love you’. It could be her last words, it could be an apology for going back to her shit head ex, it’s definitely a lie to either herself or to me. It brought some measure of peace, though left a trail of underlying fears in its wake.

    I just wish I could be happy, but for that I need at least one of the three B’s. Booze, blood, or betrothal. The last B is hyperbolic, I don’t need that much of a commitment, just some sort of romantic connection with someone. Gotta keep the pattern going though. When I’m drunk, my troubles fade away. When I’m cutting, the pain distracts me. When I have a girlfriend, I feel accepted.

    Right now I have none of those things. I might cut my arm here in a bit, but I doubt I’ll be getting a girlfriend sometime tonight; and its too risky to be drinking on a night like this. So, I’ve just got to wallow in my own misery.

    I meant to write chapter two of a new book I’m working on tonight. It’s a dark, nautical comedy set in a fantasy-ish world about a dull yet narcissistic pirate captain and his misadventure to regain his fortune. I started writing it to keep myself busy while I wait to distance myself from the first book I wrote, a more serious piece. That one’s about a man and his new apprentice facing a rebellion of monsters who are supposed to coexist with humans, but are sick of their treatment as second class citizens.

    I need to distance myself from it because every time I look at it I want to delete the whole thing. It all feels too fresh, too personal. I can remember every keystroke that I put down, and since I was the one who typed it all, it must be trash. That’s how my mind sees it. I need to forget.

    I’ve just started episode five of Altered Carbon, haven’t paused it once, haven’t stopped writing except when they speak in another language or I don’t know what to wrtie next or when Kira texted me. I’m starving. By starving I mean I’m hungry, just enough that my stomach hurts. I’ll probably go grab more food like the fat ass, no-self-control shitstain that I am.

    I hate when people tell me I’m not fat, or when people say it shouldn’t matter. I am fat, and it matters to me. I don’t find fat people attractive. Never have, never will. I remember once, back when I was dieting and nearly at one-sixty, a (fat) girl said to me “Why are you still dieting? You look great.” I responded by lifting my shirt up (I didn’t have the scar on my stomach at the time) and jiggling it, which immediately elicited an ‘Ew!’ from her. I said, “That’s why.”

    It’s not a crime to be fat, nor do I treat fat people any worse than their skinny counterparts. I just think its extremely unattractive, just like me. I don’t want to be fat. I just don’t have the willpower to put a stop to it. And I hate myself for it. Maybe if/when I get a new job I’ll be able to get back into my routine. It’d be a lot easier if I lived on my own, and could choose the pantry and fridge’s contents myself.

    But for now I’m stuck living in my parents’ house. I thought once I bought a new car, I’d be able to save up and move out. Then I met Kira, and spent thousands on her. Then I allowed myself to be talked into going to therapy, a waste of time that I put a stop to after being told that I’d never be happy and to keep on cutting, that put me in debt to pay for. Then my car broke down, and I’ve had to open a new credit card for over nine-hundred dollars and spent another four-hundred up front, and her check engine light is already back on.

    Oh, and I don’t have a job anymore after getting fired for spending too much time helping coworkers, so its not like I can get a place with the two-hundred and twelve dollars I get a week with unemployment. I’ve dreamed about living on my own since before I was even a teenager. I’ve always hated my parents. Every time I think everything’s about to turn around fiscally, life comes around and shits down my fucking throat and cuts a hole through my trachea so it can fuck my feces-stained esophagus. Every, single, fucking, time.

    God that therapy was fucking worthless. I did what the guy said in regards to cutting. I tried rubber band snapping, icing, writing out my feelings. None of it had the same sense of distraction and gravitas. So, he told me if it helps and I’m being safe, keep doing it. So I have. I wanted to stop though, not for my own sake, but because the people who say they care about me (in other words, Whit) don’t like it and I can understand why. Again though, no will power.

    When it came to my moods, I told him about as much as I’ve told anyone in my life about myself. At first it felt good, he looked at me like some sort of specimen. By our last session though, it felt more like I was a chore to him, a frustrating waste of time. Although I didn’t bother to remember the words verbatim, he more or less told me that sometimes there just isn’t anything you can do to stop being miserable, and you’re just stuck that way. So, since that was the case, I stopped going.

    There was another professional I saw there, a woman who was there to actually prescribe medicines. After the first one ruined a budding and potentially great relationship, I was hesitant to try another. Given the fact that it was also expensive as fuck and I was constantly broke, with or without hesitation I couldn’t try another kind. She refused to prescribe me medicine for my ADD either, even though she did diagnose it. Said we needed to get the depression under control first. Maybe I’d be less fucking miserable if I could concentrate on one thing at a time instead of constantly having my attention diverted between two to three things every waking moment of my life.

    It’s funny, when I finished my first book, I thought I’d be happy. Filled with a sense of pride and accomplishment that would spur me forward in life. So I rushed it. The last couple chapters were far below my typical word count. Whitney pointed out that fact, and the fact that a lot of the earlier chapters were subpar comparatively, so I went back and finished it ‘for real’. I rewrote most of the earlier chapters, filled in the later chapters, got a real, proper first draft done. And still nothing.

    Now I’m telling myself that once I can edit it properly instead of just grimacing through the prologue I’ll feel it, but I don’t believe it. Maybe if an agent wants it, I’ll feel it, but I don’t believe that. If it were miraculously published, then, then I might feel a hint of genuine joy, but I don’t believe that. I keep pushing the goal posts of finding happiness further and further back to excuse my failure to do so.

    Fuck, I don’t even know why I wrote all this. I don’t feel any better. I feel like an overdramatic, self-important, delusional cunt. Same old same old I suppose.

[youcancallmeelle]

Hungry Eyes... Part 11: Sweet Pea X Original Character

Riverdale High looked like it was fit for royalty compared to Southside High, our usual dingy hangout that we were required to attend by law.

We were all pretty bummed at the closure of Southside High, not wanting to change our routines and not wanting to have to fit in.

There had been rumours that it was closing down, but we all assumed it was just some Northsiders trying to taunt the Southsiders, but it turned out that Southside high was deemed unsafe.

“Can we not just skip?” Sweet Pea groaned from beside me, I bit my lip as I also thought it over because the thought of having to start a new school was ridiculusly daunting.

“We can’t, it’s our first day.” Toni sighed, stepping forward with Jughead who turned back at us with a sardonic smile.

“Have you never heard the expression, never judge a book by it’s cover? Come on, it’s not even that bad.” Jug defended, Fangs scoffed and cuddled closer into Jodie’s side.

“A whole building full of Northsiders on the Northside of town, I can’t think of anything worse.” Sweets grumbled, throwing his arm over my shoulder.

“I can, having to wake up next to you everyday, poor Rosie.” Jodie piped up, earning an eye roll from him.

“Leave him alone, besides the constant snoring, he’s a pleasure to sleep next to.” I defended, wrapping both arms around his waist and cuddling into him.

“Yeah! And I don’t snore.” He playfully teased, encasing me into him with his long, leather clad arms around my shoulders.

He pecked my lips playfully and I pulled away from him with a giggle, only for him to yank me straight back.

“Not looking so tough now, snake.” A voice taunted from behind me and I watched as Sweets immediately tensed up and a scowl appeared on his face, he growled.

I looked over my shoulder to see Malachai and some other Ghoulies advancing towards the entrance, the dull studs of their jackets made them stick out like a sore thumb.

“I suggest you shut the fuck up.” Sweet Pea snarled, all of the other serpents began to flank him.

“Or what?” Malachai ridiculed, hoping to spark a fiery reaction from Sweet Pea.

Malachai suceeded because the minute the torment left the Ghoulie leaders mouth, Sweets stepped forward with clenched fists.

“Stop it.” I ordered, pushing back on his chest.

He looked between Malachai and I, swallowing before he backed up again with a more relaxed posture.

Malachi let out a roar of laughter, walking past up with the members of his gang and dissappearing into the confines of Riverdale High.

“Home sweet home.” Fangs spoke, shaking his head.

“Come on.” Sweets urged, taking my hand as Jughead guided us up the concrete stairs to the double, blue doors.

“This place sucks, everything’s so perfect.” Fangs sneered, turning his nose up at academic posters that littered almost every inch of every cream painted wall.

“It’s alright for you guys, you’re leaving for good in a matter of weeks. Rosie and I still have another Two years of this, well, kind of, since someone decided they were gonna ditch me to have a baby.” Jodie reached around Fangs to poke my side, I laughed.

“I haven’t ditched you, I just need to figure out what I’m gonna do once she arrives.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She retaliated, dropping back to stand by me as we met a barricade consisting of bulldogs and river vixens.

Veronica Lodge, the supercilious girl who shot the gun at the fight, was stood behind a table with Archie Andrews, the fiery redhead who’d confronted Sweet Pea at Pop’s months back.

Her face screamed snob and her outifit just mirrored her pretentious personality, I already wasn’t a fan.

Archie squared up against Sweet Pea, his eyes never leaving his and I saw Sweet Pea roll his eyes.

I can’t lie, the whole welcoming commitee that they’d set up wasn’t my idea of fun; so I resorted to pushing past all the serpents and members of Riverdale to get to Veronica.

“Can I have my schedule, please?” I asked her, she threw a smile my way and her lined eyes crinkled.

“You’re Rosie, right?” She asked, I made a face.

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason, here’s you locker number and class schedule. Welcome to Riverdale High, serpent or not, we’re pleased to have you.” She voiced, the shrillness of her voice went right through me and I couldn’t stand to stay in the hallway much longer.

I turned back to Sweet Pea, walking backwards with a grin.

“Have fun.” I winked, retreating.

“You can’t leave me here!” He bellowed from behind Fangs.

“Bye, boys!” Jodie sniggered, hastily grabbing her schedule from Veronica and following me.

“Deserters!” Toni shouted, her arms folder across her chest.

We laughed loudly and turned the corner, dispesing within the crowd to go find our assigned lockers and to somehow discover where our classes were to be held for the rest of the school year.

                  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My first few classes were bearable, the teachers seemed to be focused on making sure we were working hard and taking it in, I admit it was a nice change from Southside High. Although I was dissapointed to not have Jodie in many of my classes, it was almost a blessing in disguise because it gave me the chance to make sure I savoured my education before I had the baby and would most likely end up finishing school from home.

I was currently journeying towards my locker, mindlessly walking through the corridoor when someone bumped into me and made me drop my folder to the floor, a few stray papers fell out and I looked down at the binder like it was a lost cause.

The offender muttered a quick sorry to me, but didn’t stop to help me pick up my lost items, even knowing I was pregnant and in a considerable amount of pain with my back.

Just as I was attempting to squat down to collect the papers, a pair of hands shot out before I had the chance to collect them and bundled them up for me.

I lifted my head to see a young man, clad in a cashmere, purple sweater with my folder and the papers tucked neatly inside, he offered me a welcoming grin with his arms outstreched.

“Thank you.” I expressed with gratitude, taking my folder from him and standing up straight.

“I’m Kevin Keller, you’re Rosie Mitchell?” He quizzed, adjusting his satchel.

“Yeah! Wait, are you the sheriffs son?” My brow furrowed, recognising his name.

“It’s kind of crappy that people only know me for being the son of Sheriff Keller, not because of the amazing shows I cast and direct.”

“Don’t worry, I only recognised your name because I’ve seen your Dad arrest my boyfriend a handful of times.” I giggled, thinking back to the few times I’d watched Sweet Pea and the other serpents get arrested for crimes that they weren’t actually involved with.

“I saw you with Sweet Pea earlier actually, you don’t look like the kind of girl to roll with the serpents, let alone have a baby with one.”

“I’d have said the same thing five months ago.”

“It’s okay, I don’t judge you, I used to date a serpent myself and I’m an advocate for messing with a bad boy.” Kevin winked.

“That’s good to know.” I laughed, turning behind me as I felt someone try to move past us and Kevin pulled me aside gently.

I spied Fangs down the far end of the hallway, talking to Sweet Pea and pushing him in a boisterous manner until he looked up at me with a playful glare.

“Rosie, stop associating with the enemy!” Fangs voiced echoed through the hall, I rolled my eyes and continued to talk to Kevin knowing I was under the watch of Sweet Pea.

“I need to go, I have biology and it seems like it’s a long walk. I’ll see you around?” I asked hopefully, Kevin brushed his hand down the front of his soft sweater to remove some lint and his blue eyes sparkled.

“Definitely! If you need any help or guidance, I’m your man!” He called after me, I waved and headed in the direction of my locker.

I was in the middle of swapping my books over, still unfamiliar with all the different subjects we now had on our minds.

I’d just grabbed my science textbook before my locker slammed shut at its own accord causing me to let out a small shriek and jump, almost dropping my book.

I turned to face the culprit who’d slammed it shut, sighing in the face of Reggie Mantle and realising I wasn’t yet done meeting the most popular members of Riverdale High.

“Please don’t scare me like that.” I mumbled quietly, feeling the baby move around at my sudden heart rate increase.

“Sorry, I just wanted to speak to you and didn’t know if you were a serpent only girl.” Reggie shrugged, leaning back against the locker next to mine.

“I’m my own person, I don’t answer to anyone.” I remarked, adjusting the mustard, floral headscarf that was tied around my hair to keep any wispy bits escaping my bun.

“You’re hot for a chick that’s knocked up, it’s just a waste that it’s with a snake.”

“I bet you’re a really valued member of the welcoming committee.” I spoke sarcastically, he smiled and pouted.

“So which greaser do you belong to?” He asked, pushing his styled hair back into place.

“I don’t belong to anyone and you’re invading my space, I don’t like it.” I snapped, he was about to form a reply when his eyes drifted from mine to behind me, he straightened up immediately.

“This dog bothering you, babe?” Sweet Pea asked, wrapping his arm firmly around my waist and snarling at Reggie.

I wanted to avoid another fight, already overwhelmed with the sheer amount of enemies that the Southside had.

“No, I was just asking for directions.” I lied, Reggie was surprised at my dishonesty, obviously expecting me to grass to Sweet Pea immediately.

“Move along, pretty boy.” Sweet Pea demanded, shaking his hand at Reggie who clenched his jaw and pushed past Sweet Pea.

I shot Sweets a look, he took my biology book from me and tucked it under his own arm.

I looked him over, raising my eyebrows to see that he’d ditched his infamous, embroidered, leather jacket.

“Where’s your jacket?” I quizzed.

“I had to shed it, it’s in my locker. We all got cornered by Weatherbee, he’s a huge dick by the way. Told us no gang paraphernalia, I didn’t feel like getting suspended, neither did Fangs or Toni.” He explained casually, I bit my lip.

“I’m not sure I like you without it, you look weird” I teased, fisting my hands in the free material of his flannel shirt.

“Is that so?” He murmured, weaving his hands behind me and clutching my waist.

“Uh huh.” I nodded, he proceeded to kiss me deeply and I smiled against his lips, finding it hard to pull myself away from him.

“I honestly feel like I’ve lost my masculinity.” He complained as he pulled away, dropping an arm around my shoulder to walk me to my next class.

“It’s just a jacket, babe.”

He continued to complain under his breath as he walked me to biology, I was thankful to see that Fangs had also walked Jodie to the same room which meant we had this class together.

Fangs greeted Sweet Pea with a fist bump, but I noticed that their eyes were always watching out for any potential enemy.

“You guys are gonna go to your next class, right? No skipping or hiding out back for a smoke?” Jodie questioned them both.

“You shouldn’t even be smoking, Sweets. You told me you quit!” I accused.  

“I haven’t smoked since we got together, well, I’ve only had a few here and there.” He guarded, guiltily rubbing at his neck which was something he did when he felt cornered.

“We’re supposed to have fitness.” Fangs enlightened us.

“Make sure you both go.” I ordered.

They nodded slowly, my eyes tightened and I knew there wouldn’t be a chance in hell that they were gonna be setting foot in that gym.

We left the boys to go and do whatever they had planned, whatever it was didn’t include playing basketball. Jodie and I grabbed a desk towards the back of the lab, admiring all the modern equipment they had, back at Southside we weren’t even allowed scalpels because of the violence problem.

“Has Sweet Pea mentioned anything about going out with Fangs tonight?” Jodie suddenly asked from beside me, I pursed my lips and shook my head.

“No, why?”

“It’s just Fangs told me that he had business with Sweet Pea, a delivery to Greendale or something, a small job.”

“He hasn’t mentioned anything, maybe you heard wrong.” I proposed, shifting on the uncomfortable stool.

“Maybe.”

I shrugged it off but there was still an element of suspicion at the back of my mind, bugging me to no end as I tried to figure out why Sweet Pea hadn’t mentioned anything about upcoming business; especially since we’d been living together for two weeks already.

There was only one reason I could think of as to why he’d be hiding something, because this business he was doing; it was illegal.

Walking into the cafeteria come lunchtime was weird, everyone stared at me like I had three heads and I could only assume it was because Reggie had spread that I was with Sweet Pea and also very much pregnant with his kid.

I was pleased to see that Toni, Fangs, Jodie, Sweet Pea and Jughead had claimed a table towards the far side of the caferteria and congrgated there so I made my way over to them.

Sweet Pea had perched himself on the actual table, rolling an apple between his hands while his brown eyes scanned the room for any potential threat.

A smile appeared on his lips as I reached him, throwing my bag next to Jodie’s feet and stepping between his legs.

“Where have you been?” He asked lowly, hands resting against my lower back.

“There’s alot of stairs in this place, so many more than Southside.” I groaned, shifting on my feet and resting the majority of my weight against him.

“Should you even be walking up stairs all day?” He questioned me, handing me the apple.

“I’m fine, she’s just lay funny and I think she’s trapped a nerve, my back’s hurting.” I sighed, taking a bite from the crisp apple.

He nodded and began to rub my back, his lips pressed to my forehead as I began to listen in to Jodie and Fangs conversation.

“Size doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know how to use it, Fangs.” Jodie smartly told her boyfriend, leaning forward across the table with her chin resting on her knuckles.

“And do I know how to use it?” His eyebrows rose, she pursed her lips and threw herself back in her seat, playing with the straw that was lodged in her water bottle.

“Meh.”

I watched as Fangs eyes narrowed, I think deep down he knew she was joking but I knew that Jodie loved to push his buttons.

“Meh?” He shot back.

“No need to get so defensive.”

“I’m not getting defensive, I just wanna know why I’m not satisfying my girl.” Fangs said, Jodie brushed her hair over her shoulder.

“I was only saying.” Jodie taunted him further, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

“Fangs, she’s just playing with you.” I huffed, unable to hear them bicker over their sex life for much longer.

“I thought so.” He nodded happily, relaxing his shoulders.

“Okay, Fangs, don’t let your ego inflate too much, you’re not that good.” She scoffed at him, I turned back to Sweet Pea.

“How’s your morning been?” I asked.

“Alright, I guess. It’s weird here, the kids are preppy as fuck. I’ve missed you though, so much.” He expressed, running his thumb over my lip.

“Don’t let the bulldogs hear you say that.”

“Fuck them, if it’s a fight they want, we’ll give it them.”

“We haven’t even been here a day, Sweet Pea, you can’t start a war already.” Toni snapped at him, overhearing his words.

“It’s them that start it, Topaz.”

Toni’s mouth opened to bicker back with him, but she stared intently towards the entrance to the dining hall and I peered over my shoulder to see what had caught her attention.

I watched as Malachai walked into the cafeteria, flanked by a couple of other Ghoulies.

His eye was beginning to bruise and he was dishevelled, he had a look of defeat on his face.

“Please, tell me you didn’t.” I begged as I turned to Sweet Pea, he smirked at the sight of the Ghoulie.

“I didn’t.” He confirmed, still smug. “Fangs did.” Sweets finished, I groaned.

“Fangs! You’re gonna get suspended!” Jodie seethed, pushing Fangs in the bicep and he looked like he couldn’t care less.

“What? I was just making sure he knew that the serpents were still strong, nothing wrong with that.”

The table was interrupted by Betty Cooper, she sauntered over with a pleased look plastered on her plain face.

“So, how are you guys liking Riverdale High?” The pastel clad blonde asked, sliding into a chair next to Jughead.

“The toilets flush.” Sweet Pea chorused, she scrunched her noise up.

“Well, yeah. Did they not at Southside High? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that’s a health hazard.” Betty replied, pulling out her lunch.

“Why aren’t you hanging out with the Northsiders?” Toni interrogated Betty, her small hands wrapped around a coffee cup.

“I’m neutral, I’m not taking sides, Toni.”

“Give it a week or so and nobody will know we’re here, we’ll soon blend right in.” Jughead winked, pulling his beanie further down over his ebony curls.

“Reggie’s been singing your praises, Rosie. He said you covered for him, from Sweet Pea or something.” Betty shrugged, my eyes fluttered shut and I cringed the minute the confession left her glossed lips.

“You did what?” Sweet Pea’s deep voice echoed, his grip on my waist tightened.

“I didn’t cover for him, I just wasn’t in the mood to see you throw a punch just to protect your pride.” I defended, his rich eyes were narrowed in a menacing glare.

Betty shrunk back into her seat, not realising she’d put her foot in it.

“So he was bothering you then?”

“I guess so, he made me jump and started pestering me about who I belonged to, told me I was hot for a ‘knocked up’ girl.” I confessed, his eyes darkened with intense fury.

“He called you hot? Betty, where’s this pretty boy who decided to call my girlfriend hot?” Sweet Pea fumed, her eyes were wide.

“I, uh..”

“Will you stop? He’s not worth your time, you can’t assault everyone who gets under your skin!” I hissed at Sweets, pushing myself away from him.

“I’ll end anyone who hits on you, Rosie.”

“Jesus christ! You’re deranged!” I spat, grabbing my bag and throwing it over my shoulder, wincing when a sharp pain shot up my back for the hundreth time today.

I didn’t have the time or patience to deal with his possessive and childish behaviour today.

“Where are you going now?” He shouted after me as I began to storm away, standing up from his perch on the table.

“Anywhere away from you!”

“I’ll go after her, she’s abit sensitive at the minute.” I heard Jodie’s hushed tone as she scrambled to gather her belongings and sprint after me, leaving a table full of dazed serpents behind.

“Wait for me!” She panted, catching up to me.

“For your information, I’m not sensitive.” I told her, she made a face.

“You’re definitely sensitive, you literally just bit your boyfriends head off for wanting to defend you.” Jodie tucked her dark her behind her ears, skipping beside me as we tried to figure out the way to the outside seating area.

“He pisses me off, Jodie. I can’t stand when he has that bad boy attitude, it’s like he tries to prove himself to everyone, just because he’s a serpent. You should understand that, Fangs fucked up Malachai and we haven’t been here for a day yet!” I exclaimed, pushing the fire door open that lead out to a set of thick stairs that were thankfully unoccupied.

Jodie helped me to sit down, taking a place next to me and handing me here bottle of water to take a swig of due to overbearing heat blasting down on us.

“Boys will be boys, just let them get on with it.” She suggested, stretching her legs out infront of her and pulling out her phone.

“Have I ever told you how good you are at giving advice?” I mocked.

“Many times, babe.”

I adjusted myself into a more comfortable position, pulling off my denim jacket and leaning against my knees.

“It’s so fucking hot.” I moaned, equally frustrated with the heat as well as with Sweet Pea.

“Your boobs are huge, do you think they’ll just deflate once you give birth?” She asked, admiring my chest.

“Do you think so? And why would you say that? You’ve made me all worried now!” I whimpered, looking down at my full chest that was barely showing from the neckline of my t-shirt.

“No wonder Reggie was hitting on you, your tits are out.” She eyed me up from the side.

“No, they’re not! I’m just letting you know that you’ve officially just joined Sweet Pea on my list of people I strongly dislike, tread carefully.” I notified her.

“He won’t be on it for long.”

I scoffed and continued enjoying the blissfullness of outside, barely able to make out a single sound of anyone which was a relief after having a stressful morning in the jungle that was this school.

It didn’t last long though because the doors behind us swung open, I jumped for the second time today and honestly started to believe I’d eventually be scared into labour.

I turned to see the culprits, only to be met with the sight of Sweet Pea and Fangs.

“You told them where we were? You’re definitely on the list!” I scolded her, she stuck her tongue out at me as Fangs sat behind her and began to kiss her neck.

I rolled my eyes and continued to ignore Sweet Pea, feeling him crouch behind me.

“You still mad at me?”

“Yep.” I confirmed, he sighed and scooted himself next to me.

“Why?” He pressed, pulling at a thread in his jeans.

“Because I hate when you treat me like your property, coming to Riverdale High is stressful enough without you picking fights with anyone who crosses you. I’m pregnant and the last thing I need is you driving me insane, I just wanna finish these last few weeks without added tension.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.” He expressed regret, wrapping his arm around my shoulder but I shrugged it off. “I hate to break it to you, Rosie, but I happen to like it when you play hard to get.” He dragged his finger along my jaw, his tattooed thumb running across my lip.

“Don’t think you can use your charm to get out of this.” I communicated, slapping his hand away.

“But, why? It normally gets me in your good books, or when I go down on you and do that thing whe-“

“Okay, that’s enough!” I intervened, clasping my hand over his mouth. “You’re off the hook, for now.”

He grinned underneath my palm and I pulled it away, shaking my head at him as Fangs and Jodie looked at us in pure disgust.

I buried my face into his bicep and I felt him press his lips to my hair, placing his hand on my knee.

“Does this mean I’m getting laid tonight?”

“Don’t push it.” I mumbled into his t-shirt, breathing in the smell of his cologne and the detergent that lingered on the clothing. “By the way, what’s this I hear about you both going out later tonight?”

“Just serpent stuff.” Fangs quickly replied, stealing a glance at Sweet Pea.

“You’re a horrible liar, what are you doing?” I pushed further, leaning around Sweets to stare hard at him.

It wouldn’t be hard to break Fangs, he was easier to manipulate than Sweet Pea.

“Nothing! Just some stuff for FP!”

I wanted greater details, but luckily for the boys the bell rang out, the shrill noise interrupting my investigation.

I wouldn’t let this rest, I’d find out what I was.

             xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“I think I’d rather have the morning sickness over the pain.” I grumbled, adjusting my position for what felt the hundreth time since settling on top of our bed to finish reading the baby book in my hands.

“You were miserable when you first got pregnant, you threw up all the time.” Sweet Pea laughed from the end of the bed where he was pulling on a jacket.

“I’ll never forgive you for doing this to me, I hope you know that.” I told him, he chuckled and leant over the bed to kiss my head.

“You’ve told me many times, but I feel like you’ll soon change your mind once she pops out.”

“Somehow, Sweets, I don’t think I’ll be thanking you for anything when I’m pushing her out.” I scoffed, closing the book and wrapping my arms around his neck. “Where are you going again?” I questioned, narrowing my eyes.

“I’m just doing abit of business, Rosie.” He sighed, not allowing me to know anything more as he unravelled himself from me and stood up straight.

“Why won’t you tell me what you’re doing?”

“Because it’s not for you to worry about.” He reassured, shoving his phone, wallet and car keys into his pockets.

“It definitely is for me to worry about, I worry constantly when you go out to do serpent stuff! I never know if you’re gonna come home in one piece, or even come home at all!” I snapped, he let out an exhale. “You’re doing drug deals, aren’t you?” I accused.

“Nothing like that, Rosie. I need to keep making money, I need to be able to support you and the baby, you knew what you were getting involved in when you got with me.”

“You didn’t give me a choice!” I hissed in sudden anger, his shoulders slumped at my comment and hurt plastered his voice. “Sweets, I didn’t mean that.” I breathed, pushing the covers off me and kneeling forward for him.

“You did mean that, Rosie. You like to remind me constantly how much I fucked up, are you ever going to be able to get over it?” He asked me sadly, stepping away from the bed. “We seem to take one step forward and two back, you confuse the shit out of me.”

He said nothing more, only strolled out of the bedroom and it wasn’t long before I heard the trailer door slam and the engine of his car rattle.

I slumped back against the pillows, holding my palms flat against my stomach.

“Your Daddy is a massive dick sometimes.” I whispered downwards, biting my lip in angst as I continued to worry about him.

** Sweet Pea’s POV **

Claire, Fangs, Toni and I were gathered around a booth at the diner, huddled around half empty glasses of soda and mugs of coffee; we’d been here for the last few hours and it was nearing midnight at the Chock’lit Shoppe.

I wasn’t proud of lying to Rosie and Fangs wasn’t happy about having to do the same to Jodie, but we’d eliminated her involvement because she was just too close to Rosie and I was scared she’d get in on the secret from pestering Jodie to the hinge end.

I felt awful for misleading her and I felt worse for leaving her like that, knowing she’d probably be overthinking the situation.

I was feeling a little sour after my small spat with her, feeling dejected and slightly hurt that part of her was still mad about the whole bet thing.

Our little one was due to enter the world in four months time, we weren’t properly prepared and I didn’t want my daughter coming into the world where her parents were at eachothers throats sometimes.

I pressed the button on my iPhone and watched it light up, displaying my background.

I peered at the screen, it was a side profile of Rosie sat on our couch. Her wavy hair was pulled into a high ponytail, exposing her defined cheekbones.

She wore a fitted grey, long sleeve t-shirt and black leggings. A throw blanket was bunched underneath the rounded bump that held my little girl, her hand resting against it and her other cradled her head.

I took it a few weeks ago without her noticing as she watched TV and set it as my lock screen, it was a gentle reminder of what I had waiting for me at home when I’d had enough at the Whyte Wyrm.

I selected my messages, checking if she’d given in a messaged me; she hadn’t.

“Stop checking your phone, she’ll be fine.” Claire reassured me, patting my hand.

“She’s mad at me, she thinks I’m up to no good.”

“It’ll be a whole other ball game if you’re up to no good with me.” She laughed lightly, the sound echoing through the diner.

“You’re lookin’ good for your age, Claire. You’re a MILF!” Fangs expressed, I cringed at his choice of words.

“What’s a milf?” She asked him, and I sank back into my seat with my hands covering my face as Toni giggled hysterically.

“A mother I’d like to fu-“ He began and I made a quick effort to kick him under the table before he could finish the sentence.

“You cant say that to her!” Toni hissed, Fangs shrugged and rubbed his calf.

“Let’s end this here, before Fangs decides to dump Jodie and chase after my girlfriends mother. Is everyone clear on the plan? Nobody speaks a word to Rosie about any type of serpent business or anything about tonight, and Claire, no matter how much she moans to you about me, don’t give in to her.” I ordered.

“Scouts honour.” She saluted, finishing her coffee.

“I’m serious, guys. Please, don’t mention anything to Jodie until it’s closer to the time and definitely not to Rosie.”

“Relax, dude. You need to chill, everything’s gonna go to plan and Rosie is gonna be stunned, for sure.” Fangs boosted my confidence.

“I agree.” Toni concurred.

Sometime later, after making the journey back from the 24 hour diner, I pulled back up outside of our trailer and gathered myself to go inside and to bed.

All the lights in the trailer were off, but I knew that Rosie wouldn’t have fallen asleep while we were in the middle of a fight or not knowing when I’d be home.

I threw my jacket off and kicked off my combat boots, trying to be quiet on the off chance that she had gone to bed.

She’d turned the fairy lights on that she’d hung when she moved in two weeks ago and below the deep glow, I saw that she was facing away from me with the covers bunched at her waist.

I couldn’t see if her eyes were open, but I could tell from the way she was breathing that she was awake.

She didn’t acknowledge me as I pulled my t-shirt over my head or when I unbuckled my jeans and kicked them off, she lay still and I sighed.

I lifted the covers and slipped under them in my boxer shorts, sliding behind her and immediately throwing my arm over her waist.

She stiffened and I expected her to push me off, but she didn’t and I guess it was because she wanted to hear what I had to say.

“I don’t like arguing with you.” I whispered, she turned her head an inch or two.

“Then why do you constantly start an argument? I don’t like not knowing what you’re doing, you should know that by now.” She shot back, resuming her position of facing away from me.

“I like to keep you separate from the gang life, I don’t want you involved in anything to do with the serpents.” I explained, moving my hand from her waist to under her t-shirt, feeling the firm skin of her bump.

“You don’t get to make my decisions for me, I’m involved with the serpents wether you like it or not, Sweets.” Rosie spoke louder, rolling over to face me.

“I know, but I just like to keep you safe.”

Rosie’s eyes found mine and she shook her head, exhaling.

“I don’t need you to protect me, I’ve told you before.”

We lay in silence for a minute before Rosie shifted, taking my hand and pressing it on the left side of her stomach and I felt a dull push against my hand.

“Did you feel that?” She asked me and I nodded, she pressed my hand harder against the skin and I felt another movement.

“Is that her kicking?” I questioned, my eyes wider than before.

“Yeah, her movements have felt stronger the last few days and I’ve been waiting for you to be able to catch them.” Rosie smiled softly, releasing my hand and allowing me to leave it there.

“That’s crazy.” I grinned, able to make out the soft pushes of my daughter through Rosie’s skin.

“What are you hiding from me?” 

“Nothing, babe.”

“Stop lying, if you’re in trouble then you need to tell me.” She demanded brusquely, poking my chest.

“Fine, you’ll know when the time’s right, that’s all I’m saying.” I revealed, she raised an eyebrow in confusion, wanting to know more.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She pried, stroking the beaded chain that held my dog tags.

“You’ll see, now go to sleep.”

[the-lichemaster]

all the even numbers

Ok then.

2. Outgoing or ShyShy. I making hate eye contact so much I’m eligible for disability benefits.

4. Are you easy to get along with?I think so, as long as your willing to do all the heavy lifting in the conversation department

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Aggressive brunette women. Or more generally, I like people who have nerdy and weird interests but who aren’t annoying about it and aren’t squares.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Judge Judy

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

A homeless guy I met while waiting for the pharmacy to fill my order (he was waiting too). I forget his name, but we talked about waste in capitalism and what our ideal societies would be.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Answered this one earlier

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

No

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

No.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No. I imagine she has forgotten all about me.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t talk to them, but they seem fine.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Answered this one already

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Getting drunk

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Curse the day I was born, check email and news on my phone

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I guess my mum, but really it’s a 7 billion way tie with everyone on earth making me uncomfortable

30. Do you ever want to get married? 

Maybe, although I think if I did it would just to make someone else happy.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

No. I used to be really into basketball as a kid.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Oh yeah. Never told any of my crushes really.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Funny, patient, pushes me out of my comfort zone, like horror movies and metal music (or at least is tolerant of them), dark hair, fangs, horns, bat wings

40. What do you want to do after high school? 

I graduated from high school over a decade ago. I wanted to go into Graphic Design, but that didn’t work out (turns out I hated sitting in front of computer all day).

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? 

I have nothing to say. I am comfortable in silence.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Ocean. No critters to look at in space.

46. What are you paranoid about?

People secretly not liking me. Getting locked out of my apartment (When leaving I’ll check my pockets for my keys like six times).

48. Have you ever been drunk?

I’m drunk right now

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? 

Pretty much everything except my taste in things. Also bigger dick, obviously.

54. Favourite store?

I like used book stores, but I probably go to the liquor store the most.

56. Favourite colour?

Purple

58. Last thing you ate? 

KFC

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Not that I can recall, no.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope. Too sneaky.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was in I THINK 6th grade (maybe 7th). Our class was out camping by a lake (the school I went to would send the 5th, 6th, and 7th grades out to a camp for the last week of school). Her name was Laura, and I don’t really remember the context (it might have just been her goofing around). All I remember is it what by an archery range.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Don’t have any real friends, so you guys win by default I guess

68. Twitter or Tumblr? 

I prefer Tumblr but I do have a Twitter, which I mostly use for more political stuff (@jeremyehm if you’re curious). I find Twitter to be really toxic, everyone’s always arguing with each other and being assholes. Plus it’s just an endless cavalcade of bad news.

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Carling Black Label Supreme and Crown Royal

72. What colour are your towels?

Dark grey. This allows spiders to hide in them easily when they are hanging.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Zero.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Blue. The pattern is of a polar bear drinking bear.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 

Strawberry

80. What colour pants? 

Dark blue

82. Favourite movie? 

Alien

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 

Haven’t seen Mean Girls, so 21 Jump Street I guess.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo? 

The barracuda who eats Nemo’s mom at the beginning. I don’t watch Pixar movies, I think FInding Nemo was actually the last one I saw.

88. Last person you talked to today? 

The cashier at KFC

90. Name a person you love? 

My mum and dad, I guess

92. In a fight with someone? 

No, and if I got into one I would lose (unless my opponent was like a baby or on crutches or something).

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 

One hoody that I never wear. Should probably give it away to a homeless shelter now that I think about it.

96. Favourite actress?

Edwige Fenech, or Meiko Kaji

98. Do you tan a lot?

I’m part Irish, Danish and English, so I tend to burst into flames when in direct sunlight rather than tan.

100. How are you feeling? 

Not too bad. A bit gassy.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? 

Mostly everything, yeah.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Not really.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? 

I don’t think so. I remember towards the end of my senior year there was a girl in my grade who, in retrospect, was hitting on me/trying to hang out with me all the time. I was totally clueless and left her hanging, but I imagine I’m easy to get over.

108. What should you be doing? 

Fuck off, it’s my birthday. I’ll do it tomorrow

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? 

Not really no. Crushes are always a little uncomfortable, but since it’s impossible for someone to like me back I can usually just push it to the back of my mind.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Therapist

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

I’ve been down to Seattle and Los Angeles before. Never been to another province of Canada though!

116. Are you listening to music right now? 

Yes (listening to the Misfits). Unless I’m watching a movie or sleeping I’m listening to music.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Love it

120. Are you afraid of the dark? 

No.

122. Is cheating ever okay? 

No

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? 

No.

126. Are you currently bored? 

A little

128. Would you change your name? 

I think I like my current name fine. Unusual without being weird.

130. Do you like subway? 

The sandwich chain? No, it sucks ass.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 

Hey this is a duplicate question. Nice job, whoever originally posted this.

134. Can you count to one million? 

Yes. I won’t though.

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? 

Closed.

138. Curly or Straight hair? 

Straight, but I don’t really care.

140. Summer or Winter? 

They kinda suck equally, but I guess there isn’t any snow in Summer, so I’ll go with that.

142. Favourite month? 

I’m going to say April or May. Warm and breezy.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? 

Milk, although I don’t really like sweets.

146. Was today a good day? 

It was pretty good, went to the dispensary, bought a pipe that’s shaped like a wizard.

148. What’s your favourite quote? 

Like this statement from the IRA following a botched assassination attempt on Margaret Thatcher and her cabinet: “Today we were unlucky, but remember we only have to be lucky once. You will have to be lucky always”

I also like a quote from a Maoist responding to Kruschev’s comment that while he was the son of a peasant while the Maoist was from the aristocracy: “We have something in common: we are both traitors to our class.”

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

From “The Best Short Stories of J.G. Ballard”: “I’m beginning to realize it was a mistake to put them in there-all those lights blazing down, the huge floors, high walls.”

Whew, that took awhile. Thanks for asking.

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 22 - ch 48

Full video here.

CH 22: Baby, it’s hot in here

Like, baby it’s cold outside?

Sooooo much internal monologuing about her first boyfriend and how no one has made her feel like Jaxon does…

“The big picture is that the most popular boys in school are obsessed with you”

“He looks at you like it physically hurts him not to be touching you. Baby, if he wanted you anymore he’d spontaneously combust”

Macy wants the tea about her and Jaxon

She says flint and him had a “massive pissing contest over her” lmao

“Are you trying to be reassuring or scare me?” “yes”

She tells heather ttyf? Am i stupid??? What does that mean?

TALK TO YOU FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

“It sounds like every cliche in the book, but he’s different around you. Somehow less intense, but more intense.”

“You can trust me, we’re family” and grace almost starts crying :(

CH 23: never bring an ice cream scoop to a gunfight

Macy FINALLY comes clean re: flint and jaxon are mortal enemies

“What is this the breakfast club? Even they figured out they could all get along” grace just be quiet and let the girl who actually knows wtf is up at this school tell you wtf is up. You been wanting her to talk for so long, be quiet.

Ooh something big happened a year ago that made them all break up into factions

It’s about hudson jaxon’s brother!

Or is his name spelled Hyudsin because stupid spellings

Ooh macy warned grace not to become the chew toy between flint and jaxon

CH 24: waffles are the way to a girl’s everything

I want to hate this but i fucking love waffles so like…

Someone’s texting her about her ankle...i thought it was jaxon...AND IT IS!

“I don’t know the punchline to whatever knock knock joke you’re setting up” I BURST OUT LAUGHING BECAUSE “he’s funny over text” ma’am...this isn’t funny? Maybe a lil snarky, but funny?

Now she’s telling jokes over text and we’re having a whole long stupid text fucking exchange….i hate this so much

Then he tries, “what do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite” and my soul leaves my body because what in the 8th grade twilight fanfiction is happening…

She texts him brb instead of just responding when when she was done peeing and then he stops answering her, this used to happen to me with the toxic dudes i talked to in high school...am i reading too much into this? Idk yet

And then she’s spiraling about why he stopped texting and UGH I REMEMBER THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!

Jaxon has food sent up to her room from the...cafeteria? Wtf…

He says he doesn’t like the food and she says “So what do you like to eat” and then is like “wow that sounded suggestive” lmao

And he says “i don’t think we’re there yet but let me know when we are” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

CH 25: truly madly deeply bitten

And we’re really just gonna keep texting 21 questions

She loves tatbilb...i mean same lana condor is the loml, but

Jaxon loves rogue one………

I don’t care AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT DO I CARE, TRACY WOLFF.

“I wish i could ask the real jaxon vega to please stand up” i rolled my eyes but i also giggled

“You suck” “you have no idea how much” i threw up in my mouth.

Niall horan reference, hozier reference, rhianna reference

JAXON’S. FAVORITE. SONG. IS. TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY.

INSERT SNAPCHAT OF ME CRYING LAUGHING HERE

Gambino reference, beethoven reference???, and then brown-eyed girl which personally offends me because my mom used to sing that to me

This makes her hands shake

She plays brown eyed girl a bunch of times

Then another woman comes to deliver a package to grace...from jaxon...it’s a library book

It’s twilight

Insert snap of me screaming stfu here

Macy is laughing her ass off about this because she isn’t stupid, she knows what jaxon is

And grace says she never read it when it was popular all those years ago…

Baby you said you liked reading. No way did you survive middle school without reading it.

And then he shows up!!!!!

She makes a shitty joke to lighten to the mood

He’s massaging her hurt ankle...oh shiiii

They ALMOST kiss

He gives her a little note wrapped in a ribbon

“I wonder how i’m going to keep this beautiful, broken boy from cracking my already battered heart wide open”

Hades voice: we were so CLOSE!

CH 26: the uniform doesn’t make the woman, but it sure brings out the insecurities

He ripped a page out of anais nin’s journals that says some shit like “i dreamed you, i wished for you”

So cute sentiment but you ripped a book my dude? Cardinal sin

Grace is finally going to class

The cafeteria is goth as fuuuuck

The music is “creepy af”

Jaxon sits next to her in front of everyone

CH 27: 10 degree weather gives a whole new meaning to “the cool kid’s table”

He sits in the super ornate chair backwards and it makes her horny

The order is kind of ragging on jaxon about being cute to grace which is funny

We get all the dude’s names at one - raphael luca liam mickey?? I think

“A dark and devastating desperation” in his eyes

And then we got byron who’s more angsty than jaxon - “mad bad and dangerous to know” just like his namesake

CH 28: “to be or not to be is a question, not a pick-up line”

Jaxon walks her to class

Wanting him feels like opening a vein

“I love the way your hair smells”

“My heart is beating like a heavy metal drummer”

We were so close!!!!!!!!!

We’re doing hamlet in class ofc

The teacher says “although you look like the shy type despite your association with katmere’s most notorious student”

Instead of just saying the halls are like playing frogger she describes the old video game where you try to get the frog across the road...is it just people in the south that say playing frogger when describing crossing traffic? Or is this a well known phrase??

Apparently there’s hidden tunnels so flint takes her to them

Her intuition is like BITCH DON’T GO IN THE TUNNELS but she ignores it AGAIN

CH 29: with friends like these, everyone needs hard hats

There are beds with shackles?!?!?!?!

Leah shows up and turns out they’re going to the same class? But flint insists on walking her to class…

Leah and flint are NOT friendly

Damn she offends flint with a buffalo bill joke

There’s bones in the tunnels and a giant chandelier in the rotunda that’s also made of bones…

There’s an earthquake!

CH 30: you make the earth shake under my feet, and everywhere else too

And it stops as soon as they get out of the tunnel

Jaxon is there and being a dick to flint and grace has HAD it

CH 31: big girls don’t cry, unless they want to

Grace gets hit with a basketball in gym

All the order has been walking her to class because jaxon knew she was mad at him

Does jaxon cause the earthquakes somehow?

She finally reads the texts jaxon had sent and feels bad for being mad at him when he was just worried - no he acted like a dick. Be mad.

She’s making sooooo many excuses for his anger: the earthquake, the fact that he’s already rescued her before so of course he’s worried…

Aww a student is playing autumn leaves which was her dad’s favorite song :(

She starts to boo-hoo “grief is a wild thing within me”

Civil twilight AGAIN

Jaxon is standing there when she finally stops

CH 32: it’s not a coincidence that denali and denial use all the same letters

He opens the door in the alcove and it’s like a clubhouse? Oh it’s his dorm room???? Confusion

So it’s like the living room and NOW he’s leading her into his bedroom

She says she’s terrified of him touching her because of the intensity but then says she has no trepidations about doing or being anywhere with him...ya just said...nvm

They go out to the roof

CH 33: Madonna’s not the only one with a lucky star

Please decide if grace is a silly teen who doesn’t know what frogger is or an old soul who loves madonna pls

She asks if he’s an alien…

And she tells him he’s the hottest person ever and that his scar makes him sexy as hell and he's all like “me?!” which is a nice role reversal

This is his favorite place

And there's a meteor shower!!

CH 34: all’s fair in love and earthquakes

Thanks i hate this

When she touches him she realizes how cold he is and thinks it’s from being outside which makes him act all weird

Someone please just tell this girl what’s going on!!!!!!!!! I HATE when the reader is 8,000 steps ahead of the MC

“A craving in his eyes” WE’VE SAID THE TITLE FOLKS!

She makes the move to close the space and says she’s dazzled, GUYS

She’s making the MOVE! “Did you ever want something but you were scared of taking it?” “yes” “what did you do” “i took it anyway” and then he kisses her!!!!!!

The kiss is as soft as a snowflake, as delicate as the permafrost

Then “his mouth goes crazy on mine lips tongue teeth, it’s a cacophony of sensations, a riot of pleasure”

“My knees go weak at his tongue on mine, just like one of those heroines in a novel”

His hands are vices on my biceps...his hands were around her back at first which seems way more romantic than manhandling her arms??

There’s an earthquake...and jaxon is like you have to go

A window breaks and cuts her and then she blacks out????

CH 35: baked alaska is more than just a yummy dessert

Intimidating af is the nurse

The glass nicked her artery!!!!!! The FUCK. or did jaxon bite her?????

Her mom died like that… yikes on bikes

He fucking bit her...this is a lie...i’m calling it…

FINN ABOUT TO COME CLEAN!!!...but the nurse stops him.

Macy is an OG bff she is the best

Or is grace the one making shit happen??

Grace notices the sheets are fixed but that macy never went to the bed

Macy asked what they were doing when the earthquake hit...WHY

CH 36: no harm, all foul

Grace goes after Jaxon and he’s like “our kiss didn’t matter”

He says he put her in a lot of danger by being around her, a “target on her back” and wants her to stay away from him but he can’t pull himself away

But then he does

CH 37: don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer

Leah drops the bomb that she and Jaxon are expected to carry on like a family dynasty sitch since Hudson died

CH 38: nothing says “i like you” like a fang to the throat

She’s freaking out of course

Mickey says jaxon def didn’t bit her and she’s even more confused and me too

Jaxon is in the mountains...he wants her to wait but she’s pissed

“I take a deep breath and hold onto it with both hands” ….?????

Because i have to hear it out loud, “what did make these marks?”

Say it, out loud

CH 39: there’s never a hallucinogen around when you need one

She’s furious and she should be! I’m glad she’s not replying to Jaxon

We finally get to the bottom of it all!!!!!!

Macy admits Jaxon is a vampire

Leah is one too!!!!

Flint is a dragon!!!!! CALLED IT

He’s got fire? With a name like flint how could he not PUKE

“Who needs LSD when you go to monster high?” Shut UP

Macy is a witch DUH

“You should have been one too”

CH 40: be careful what you witch for

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THIS TITLE

Grace’s dad was a warlock but he lost his power when he fell for grace’s mom...oh no was their accident like a magical mafia hit??

“What kind of witch are you if you can’t do something an 11 year old can?” “the kind that doesn’t come from JK Rowling’s brilliant imagination”...THAT aged poorly…

“This is a less bloody version of game of thrones” shut UP

The school nurse bit her because jaxon used his vampire venom to heal her cut, and it worked too well so she needed to cut through the healed skin with her vampire teeth

Because this is twilight satire so of course they have venom…

“So vampires can just override each other’s venom?”

Most of the vamps would have had a hard time not draining you dry, but not jaxon

I absolutely called it: witches, vampires, dragons, and werewolves confirmed.

CH 41: Vampires dragon and werewolves, oh my

This physically hurts

She’s kind of categorizing the students now that she knows which is totally something i would do

God almighty is flint just a jacob clone…

CH 42: good thing pancakes aren’t on today’s menu

The chandelier is falling onto her and someone pushes her out of the way - it’s jaxon!

His eyes smolder at her

She dresses his cut on his head and his arm

“I wouldn’t have had to save you if you were in your room where i told you to be” he grinds the last part out through clenched teeth

He finally lays it out that someone has been getting her hurt on purpose

CH 43: what doesn’t kill you still scares the hell out of you

Her uncle wants to talk to her before she sees jaxon again and i smell an info dump coming

Dangerous af

“Macy told me she spilled all the tea” said her UNCLE with no hint of like “is that what you kids say these days”. GTFO

“I wait for the other shoe to drop even though 100 have already fallen” that’s not how that idiom works

She’s like “how could he think i wouldn’t figure it out i knew something was wrong” no ma’am! No you didn’t!! You kept shrugging it off until chapter 24 at the EARLIEST when you settled on aliens

Getting the tea on the turf war between dragons and vampires - so it’s not like twilight because it’s not the werewolves. Whatever.

Uncle says it was probably some witch who got too loose with her powers and grace is like yeah no absolutely no one is trying to kill me it was yet ANOTHER freak accident

Uncle wants to sent her back to cali

CH 44: Sweet home alaska

So she doesn’t wanna go because of jaxon, not because her only family in the world is in Alaska….

It’s only been a WEEK

“I know jaxon can be...seductive” says her UNCLE

the guys in the order are born vampires, not made, it’s a v big deal

Info dump city re how vampirism is a genetic mutation…

There are 6 ancient families of vampires...this all sounds like the first draft of my new wip where I was trying to figure out how the secret society worked…

Then he says he’s not in the habit of talking students with other students….we just did...this whole chapter…

Another earthquake???

Ch 45: I always knew there was fire between us, I just didn’t know it was your breath

Dude shut up

She goes to the library and wonders if the books about vampires etc would be under non fiction or biology lmao

The librarian is a native Alaskan with elemental magic….yikes

She does a weird eye swirling “you’re more than you think you are” thing to grace

Flints in the library and she asks him about dragons and I swear to god if we get a chapter devoted to learning about each species via info dump I will burn this place to the ground

He singes the marshmallow with his fire breath, loves it

And he can breathe ice? He cools the water down

He can bloom flowers in his hand????

“They’re beautiful” “you’re beautiful” “but I’m not hitting on you??”

Because when I hit on you, it’ll be because you want me to!!!!! We Stan flint!!!

Ch 46: I’ll get you and your little dog too

Enough

Dry throat around flint now, oh shiiiiiii

Oh shit the order is on the move!! There’s trouble

She chases them into a classroom and sees jaxon making shit fly everywhere with just his mind...is he a vampire and a witch??

There’s a werewolf vampire brawl

Damn jaxon can freeze everyone with his mind!

She tries to stop him but he’s put up a barrier

She breaks through!!!!

And jaxon bites cole!!!!!!! ALMOST KILLS COLE!!!!!!!!!!!

“This is your only warning”

CH 47: the first bite is the deepest

Jaxon pulls grace away, this whole time grace’s inner monologue is her feeling responsible for the carnage

“I won’t hurt you” “I know” “you know? do you have a death wish?”

But jaxon is so disgusted at himself that she's just like “well did he deserve to almost be killed?” She has accepted this shit with sociopathic speed

“The power you wield...it’s unfathomable” sis has turned the corner

“You don’t scare me jaxon”

They flipped the script and she breaks down his defenses and it’s kind of hot ngl

She tells him she needs him and he bites her??????

Ch 48: is that a wooden stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

They’re getting worse

But it’s not a hurting bite it’s like a sex bite…like she describes an orgasm basically..

Then they kiss

The earthquakes are jaxon! Called it

At this point I am sooooo annoyed because just make him a witch!!!! We really wanted the twilight combo so badly we made him a telekinetic earth-shaking vampire?????????

They go to his room...and she goes to his drum kit instead of his bed, you dumb bitch

Now they’re talking in the bed

The jokes are just so fucking bad

He cuts them off by pulling her on top of him and kissing her!!! In bed!!!! We ain’t in twilight no more henny

“The kiss curls my toes but the yank curls everything else” wut

“I don’t want you anywhere near that world, and I sure as hell don’t want that world anywhere near you” - someone. Anyone. Take a second pass

~~~

[drudragonrose]

Vampire Brook ~ Chapter Two ~ The Outskirts

“I can’t wait to see the baby farm animals!” Pansy yelled as she skipped to the school bus. It was field trip day and Pansy couldn’t wait to get away from school. Galileo, now eleven, wasn’t as excited. While any excuse to get away from Mrs. Grinich and her droning voice was welcome he wished they were going anywhere but a farm. The month before they had gone to the local theater where they were showing a musical version of the Hunchback of Norte Dame. Galileo had already taken up dance as his after school activity but after seeing the musical decided that it would be his goal in life to be a Broadway actor. If they were going to see another musical then the day would be perfect.

But no, they had been invited to visit one of the farms that were on the western outskirts of. “Joy dot corn.” He said waving his hand before crossing his arms again.

“If you didn’t want to go you should have said something.” Pansy pointed out.

“I’d rather have my teeth pulled than stay behind with Sapphire and her crew,” Galileo said. Sapphire had elected to not go on the field trip. If she wasn’t going one could bet that her drones were not going to go either. Which meant a welcome break for him and Pansy.

Pansy and Nella were the only two in the school that knew that Galileo was human. After that first day, he never went to school without wearing the solution that Pansy had given him. He had eventually had to talk to his mother about what was going on when he ran out of it. He had been scared to go back but his mother had given him a new bottle the next day bright and early.

As it turned out, Loretta had connections to the witch community within Shady Brook. She promised to introduce him to some of the people she knew when he was older but he had never pushed the issue.

While Galileo did a good job faking being a weak vampire, there was still a suspicion from Sapphire, Jade, and Jasper that he wasn’t one of them. Galileo did his best to protect himself but Sapphire in particular seemed have made it her mission in life to prove that he was human. It was one more pressure to add to the fact that was soon going to middle school where he was sure things would get even tougher for him.

“Fang replacement is better than spending an afternoon with Sapphire. You could have stayed home then.” Pansy said as she took her place in line. Galileo just sighed. His parents were strict with school meaning that Galileo would literally have to be dying before his mother let him like skip school. Unless he wanted to volunteer at the Ms. Muffet’s Parlour which he didn't want to do again. He had enough cheek pinching for a lifetime

Clara popped up from the seat behind them. “Yeah I’m not too keen on looking at a bunch of farmland either but if it means we don’t have to sit through English it’s fine by me.” She said giggling. The administration had known that half the sixth graders were not going to go on the field trip because the bus they had been given was small. “Anyone know why the Neanderthals are not here.” She asked looking around.

Galileo shrugged. “Probably wouldn’t want to get their thousand dollar shoes dirty.” He said. He didn’t really care though the day was looking brighter. He was finally ready to have a fun day goofing off with his friends. Maybe they would let them run around the fields at one point. It wasn’t as if one of them would get lost out there If one of them hit the mountains then they knew to get a ride going east.

“But baby farm animals and maybe we’ll get to bring back samples,” Pansy said with a bright smile.

“Like you eat anything that’s not made out of plasma fruit,” Galileo said with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s where we’re going. A farm where they grow plasma fruit. We get to see where they come from!” Pansy replied with excitement. And with that Galileo was interested. He had seen the little fruits before, glowing like little hearts before they were diced or boiled and put into whatever was being prepared.

It was this made it so that just about half of the vampires in Shadybrook could live relatively normal lives. It made it so Galileo felt safe living here in Shadybrook. He loved his friends even though he could never eat anything at parties. Unless he was going to one at Pansy’s house. She always made sure to prepare normal food for him and get it to him at the same time that the other ate.

Seeing how it was possible for him to have the friends his had was something special. It was a light atmosphere in the bus, almost too light seeing as the teacher that had been charged with keeping all of them in check, Mr. Newberry, had to yell at them to keep it down several times within the first half hour on the road. Having a good giggle a joke that was being passed down the rows Galileo turned to the window and the world seemed to fade around him.

There was a boy in the field they were passing by. His brown skin looked golden in the sunlight and his hair looked like it was made out of copper wire it shone so red. Galileo had been around both boys and girls at his school but he hadn’t before felt a pull like he had felt for the boy he’d just seen. It hadn’t worried him much. While others his age were talking about dating there were some like him who thought they had better things to do. With Galileo it was dance. He had assumed that because he was now spending as much free time as he could manage at the studio while still keeping grades up that he didn’t have time to feel what the others felt.

Galileo felt as if he could make time if it was this boy he was trying to get to know. He did want to get to know the red-haired boy. His name would be a good start, Galileo thought scolding himself a bit.

Galileo kept his nose pressed against the glass until the boy and the farmhand had become nothing but dots in the distance.

“What’s wrong?” Pansy asked poking him in the back of the head.

Galileo jumped in surprise “Nothing, saw something cool that's all.” He said smiling

“Share next time you dick.” She said, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. Galileo laughed knowing that he wasn’t going to be sharing the experience he just had with Pansy anytime soon. He thought of her as almost a sister.

The bus stopped not long after and Galileo admitted that he had to be impressed. When he had heard farm he had pictured a lonely house out in the middle of nowhere. This looked more like a colony. Small structures littered everywhere behind an arch that had marked their entrance. “Welcome to McAlester Estate.” Said a brown-skinned woman with her arms open wide.

“I’m Miranda and I’ll be showing you around for today.” She said brightly. There was a warm welcoming air around Miranda. It was almost as if Galileo were in the presence of his own mom. He smiled wide at her then followed was she started to show them down one path.

They had to keep to a path because the estate was bigger than anyone thought and it was actually very easy to get lost. Galileo’s class learned that plasma fruit had to be grown in complete darkness at first because direct sunlight killed the flowers. They passed by a huge barn which housed the plants. While they couldn’t go in because it was day, they could look inside through one way windows that had been installed so that the farm hands could look in and see if there was anything wrong with the plants during the day.

By lunch, Galileo was starting to get bored. They had passed an enclosure that had chickens in it and half the group was enthralled not having seen one outside of a book or a grocery store. Galileo, however, wasn’t as interested. His mother loved animals and saving money even before she had three boys and a husband to make money stretch for so she had thought it a brilliant idea to get a set of hens and one rooster. The flaw with the plan was that the rooster she got had been a rescue from a fighting ring and was the meanest thing on the planet. No one outside of their mother could go into the backyard for a matter of months until the rooster tangoed with the next door neighbor’s pit bulls and that was the end of the rough rooster. The hens are still around with a much tamer rooster to keep them company but the scars from that first one would never go away.

Galileo leaned against a post while Pansy cooed over the chicks. “I’d tell your friend not to do that. Mother hens can get kind of testy sometimes.” Said a voice next to him. Galileo saw the boy from the fields standing next to him. Galileo gulped which he hoped that the boy didn’t see.

Cool, cool, be cool. “Meh, some things you have to learn things the hard way.” He said in what he hoped was a nonchalant voice but at the moment his thoughts were scrambled. What this how it felt to have a crush?

To Galileo’s immense relief the boy laughed. “Very true. I’m Fred by the way,” he said with a smile. “Never seen so many kids out here at one. Most of us try to avoid chores.” He said. Galileo gave a smile.

“Galileo. So there are others here?” He asked trying to distract himself from giggling like an idiot. While Fred looked to be about their age, he looked a lot thicker. Did his parents make him do harder chores or was his body just like that? Stop! Galileo yelled at his own curiosity.

“Yeah, this is more of a ranch than a farm so everyone lives here in their own houses. There’s a school here too.” He said with a cheeky grin. Galileo felt himself blush.

“Not like I thought everyone would be dumb out here or nothing. Does explain why y’all don’t go to school in town.” Galileo said. Maybe he could talk Fred into coming with them. He could show him his favorite game at the arcade and maybe they could visit the brook and skip rocks. Galileo’s hopes were crushed by what Fried said next.

“Yeah well, we don’t go into town for anything really. We got everything we need here and if we gotta do something more important we go to the town on the other side of the mountains” Fred explained.

Galileo swallowed his disappointment “Wouldn’t it be easier to go to Shadybrook. It’s just an hour away.” He said. He wanted to see him around at least.

Fred shook his head. “We’re not exactly welcome in Shadybrook.” He said glumly. It seemed to Galileo that the other boy looked longingly at the group of kids that had come with them. Pansy turned her attention to the two and smiled at Fred.

“Well, some of Shadybrook now. Go to Ms. Muffet’s Parlour and stick around that area and you should be fine. I’m Pansy by the way.” She said with a huge grin on her face. She wrapped her arms around one of Galileo’s making him want to die on the spot. Did she know that this looked like?

Fred, for his part, just kept smiling. “I’ll keep that in mind if my family ever goes down that way.” He said.

Over the heads of the students, Mr. Newberry called “Everyone gather round it’s time for roll before we get on the bus!” The students all went over to the teacher to make sure they didn’t get left behind even though they were sure that Miranda, as nice as she was, would give any strays a ride back into town.

Galileo wanted to talk more with Fred but Pansy was already pulling him away. “Hey talk to you later ok?” Fred called after him taking his hand. Galileo looked in his hand and saw a small paper with the words Kik: IrishBlack on it. He smiled, having at the very least made a new friend.

They had scrambled one they got on the bus making it so that Galileo was sitting next to his friend Vladimir rather than Pansy. Not that would have noticed if it were anyone else because Galileo kept his sight out the window.

“You like-liked that red-haired boy you were talking to didn’t you?” Asked Vladimir. Galileo looked back at him with wide eyes. “You did! Did your parents that boys can only like girls?” He said looking at him funny. Galileo frowned. No, his parents hadn’t told him anything like that. Once he turned ten they had taken him aside and told him that he may start to see some of his classmates in a different light and that he’d have to be careful but that was it. Galileo felt himself blush with embarrassment now because there was yet another thing that his parents failed to mention to him. He still lightweight hadn’t forgiven them for not telling him about the residents of Shadybrook.

Getting home, Galileo sulked into his room looking at his phone. Thinking as logically as an eleven-year-old could he figured that there was no reason to be upset. His feelings might be wrong but he could work to get rid of them. He wouldn’t even add Fred to this friend list. But we wanted to. He’d liked Fred now that he had actually talked to him. Galileo had felt the same warm aura around his that he had around Miranda and even though he’d been completely graceless around him he didn’t feel like Fred was laughing at him.

Sensing that something was wrong with her oldest son, Loretta got the other two settled down then poked her head into Galileo’s room. “Anything you want to talk about honey?” She asked softly. She had been wondering when the moody teen stage would start to kick in though she hoped it would be another few years before it happened.

“Why didn’t you tell me that boys can only like girls?” He burst out now angry. He’d embarrassed himself in front of his friends and probably a boy that thought he was weird for acting the way he did.

Loretta frowned. “Because that’s not true, sweetie.” She said simply. Galileo looked at her with wide eyes. “Wait here.” She said as she popped out of the room. Loretta came back about a minute later with a slice of apple pie which had been left over from the day and handed it to him.

“Now I think you’d better start from the beginning.” She said sitting on the edge of Galileo’s bed. Galileo poked at the pie with his fork and started to talk. It was always this way. A snack to comfort him and conversation whenever he had a worry. In later years this would be the thing he remembered most about his mother.

Galileo started talking, explaining how he had felt about Fred and what Vladimir had told him. Galileo finished with a sigh then looked up at his mom.

“Sounds like your friend may have something he needs to talk about with his parents,” Loretta said a bit cooly. She gave her son a hug then had him look at her. “Understand this. There will be some people that don't understand you but you are doing nothing wrong. Boys can like boys and girls can like girls. What's more important than what you like is who you like.” She said.

Galileo looked at her confused. “Well, it is true. It doesn't matter whether you like a boy or a girl it matters whether that person treats you with the respect you deserve and they are good to you.” She said patting the top of his head. Galileo frowned but he thought he understood.

“So my feelings aren't wrong?” He asked finally.

“Not unless you're planning to stalk the boy,” Loretta said half joking. Galileo laughed softly.

“He lives too far away for that.” He said grinning back.

“My baby’s first crush. Your father will be so excited when I tell him.” Loretta said getting up.

Galileo raced after her “Mom you can't!” Loretta just laughed as she went down the stairs. “I'll never tell you anything again!” He called down feeling his cheeks burn. It was an empty threat as his mom had more than one way to get information out of him. Still, she was embarrassing.

Galileo threw himself on the bed once more but this time with a smile on his face. Whatever happened with Fred, he knew that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. “V can go bite a tree stump.” He muttered to himself.