#'30s stache

[fuzziemutt]

I need my beard to grow in faster comrades

I need to get butcher and hairier RIGHT !! MEOW !!!

[unendingphantasm]

nicotine is sticking onto my moustache :(

[kidovna]

anonymous said: a link to a tweet that said something like ‘stop giving older will a moustache. it is mischaracterising him because he’s not overly-masculine.’ (i’m posting it like this to not mention the username of the original tweeter)

here’s all the times i’ve mischaracterised will byers <3

in all seriousness, i’m sorry but it’s presumptuous to think that your headcanon is the only one that’s right.

yes, headcanon. because we haven’t seen 30 y/o will. we haven’t seen him out and proud. we don’t know how hopper and mr.clarke (both who have mustaches) being the two most influential adult men in his growing years could change the way he presents himself. it literally cannot be mischaracterising when the oldest version of will we know is 16.

it’s okay to have a different opinion. if you think will is going to be clean shaven for the rest of his life, that’s your take. i personally don’t think will is immune to making era and age appropriate fashion choices 🤷🏾 i also thought mustaches were awful when i was 16. i’ve since grown up and can appreciate a good stache.

and lastly, calling mustaches/facial & body hair overly-masculine is just… wrong. case in point:

freddie mercury, alok v menon, and esther calixte-bea

again, i paraphrased and posted this without the username because i don’t want anyone to go and pick an argument with op if you find the tweet. i just think that the byler fandom has always had the knack for getting offended by harmless headcanons like this and you guys need to chill.

you can say “i dislike mustaches. it’s just not for me.” without saying “you’re mischaracterising this fictional character by giving an older version of him a mustache”. something doesn’t have to be wrong for you to not like it.

Anyhow, here’s my headcanon of how hopper would react when he sees will with a mustache for the first time. I also headcanon that will starts greying very early because of all the trauma and stress he experienced as a kid.

[umadosedepascal]

P E D R O P A S C A L

O N L Y

__ FIC REQUEST OPEN __

SERIES

(Banners are here)

NEW MEXICO(PART IX)- Pedro asks you to spend his birthday together with you. You just go.

W I N N E R(PART VIII) - You couldn’t attend SAG awards but Pedro meets you late in the night to celebrate.

O U C H (PART VII) - You are at the Golden Globes and meet Pedro over there, he didn’t win unfortunately but still, he is a winner in bed.

B O A T (PART VI) - Today is your last day in Malta. Pedro will be back to work, and you also need to return to your routine. Pedro wants your last day to be wonderful, nothing like a surprise with a perfect end. The three most intense days of your life.

COME FIND ME (PART V) - Pedro promised you a weekend, but an unforeseen event changes everything. Maybe he's a fan of surprises, maybe he can find you.

72 HOURS WITH HIM (PART IV) - The shooting in Malta keeps going, all Pedro needs is a weekend off, well…he got it. Would you go meet him for only three days? Hmmm yes!

PEDRO SOLO (PART III) - The days are long and exhausting, Pedro has a huge hotel room, hot tub ... But he is missing something, could you help him?

LOSING GAME (PART II) - You meet Pedro again not just to take back your panties. He wants to play a game, who’s going to lose?

HIGH MILES CLUB (PART I) - After partying hard at Met Gala making out with you in the bathroom and later taking you to his hotel room in NY, he finds something inside his red overcoat pocket in the middle of the airport. But it doesn’t stop, more unexpected and hot things happens during his flight back home.

ONE SHOT

(Banners are here)

🔥CORONA, MEXICO - You got invited by Corona to be an extra on the new “La vida mas fina” campaign at the beach. Even if was only one single scene, maybe just 10 seconds of screen you would be more than happy because the main reason was him…Pedro.

MASTERCHEF FAIL - With a busy schedule, Pedro finds some time to spend with you. You promised him to cook his favorite food. Maybe things get out of hand and dessert comes before dinner.

PURPLE IS THE HOTTEST COLOR - After having a difficult day, Pedro meets you, no patience, no time for conversations.Pedro only has one desire in mind: you here and now, no matter if anyone will see you.

————————————————

PEDRO I M A G I N E

It’s 3 in the morning…

Hey, I’m looking at you…

What a smile…

You wearing his purple shirt…

Pedro eat pussy drawing

🔥Pedro eat pussy part II

————————————————

Who are Santa Trindade

Gringa is on her late 30’s totally addicted to Pascal for the latest years (she doesn’t know what happened) although she’s following his work since 2019 because she is a Star Wars nerd and fell in love with a mandalorian 🤷🏻‍♀️. Her favorite Pedro boy is Javi Gutierrez because he is chubby and funny (Pedro vibes almost 100%).

What makes her wet is when Pedro: slide his finger on his lips while giggling.

Good vibes: if she had a date with Pedro she thinks she wouldn’t be able to walk the next day 🥲

——

@missyorkswhore is on her late 20’s and noticed Pedro when her uncle was watching Narcos, she saw Javier and asked him “wow, who’s that stach guy?”. A couple years later she finally got into Narcos and you know…she still want to marry Peña.

She loves when Pedro raises his eyebrow, and when he speaks Spanish [she thinks she can get wet in a fraction of seconds if he speaks like that to her in bed] ah and of course when he screams WHAT TOWN!!! as Joel.

Fave character obviously: DAVE FUCKING YORK (killer king)

[hamunnyii]

Ok y'all here's the thing

I'm watching a playthrough of Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

This might be just me rumbling making no sense but Idc I just see BowUigi everywhere

Hear me out

Here Baby Bowser (NOT BOWSER JR) told Baby Mario and Baby Luigi to go take care of a problem that came up (can't recall what it was now), and he called Mario 'Red' and Luigi 'Greenie'.

Now, as I've heard from the fandom, Bowser and them have been fighting FOR 30 YEARS, and it's kinda weird to me how Bowser 'didn't remember' Luigi's name (as their shipping Wiki says) after 30 years and kept on calling him 'Greenie' and 'Green 'stache' until some time ago.

So what I'm trying to say is that HE DID remember it, but Greenie is just an affectionate nickname he gave him.

Also, it's peculiar how Bowser called Baby Mario JUST 'Red' instead of like 'Cherry' (that would sound terrible 💀) or 'Red Cap', AND GAVE LUIGI 'Greenie' instead of just 'GREEN', like seriously, the -IE was NOT necessary if Bowser didn't remember his name.

(I'm desperate in finding BowUigi references in the games and I come up with random things and I'm absolutely right)

[corner-stories]

30, nightgown with Jean and Pieck?

September Prompts 🌻

30. Nightgown Post-Rumbling Ambassador shenanigans because why not?

The bathroom on the vessel is just like the rest of the ship — constricting, utilitarian, and made with barely any elbow room. In his time as an Ambassador, Jean has seen many rooms just like it, but this might be the first time he's seen a shower head placed nearly above the toilet.

But nonetheless, it's enough room for him to comfortably bathe, though with the caveat that he must stand completely straight and remain unflinching under a stream of cold water.

In the midst of the night he turns off the shower and steps out. After patting himself dry, Jean wraps his towel around his waist and crosses the floor of the bathroom with a single step. He wipes steam off the mirror above the sink, a surface that is barely wide enough to show him his reflection.

As he slicks his hair back, Jean gets a good look at the current state of his stubble. At the moment it looks closer to a short beard than fashionable scruff. He's unsure if it's a side-effect of all the travelling he had done in the last month alone, or a sign that he's truly gotten lazy in matters of personal grooming.

It only takes a few seconds of observing the beard on his face for Jean to reach for his shaving kit. With the puck of soap and brush, he creates a suitable lather with the frigid faucet water. After applying the suds to his face, he reaches for his safety razor — a nifty contraption that he finds much preferable to a straight blade — and goes through a process he has performed dozens of time.

Though tonight Jean finds himself deviating from his usual routine, as he finds the motivation to remove the hair on his cheeks and chin, but not that above his lips. For what reasons he doesn't know, but what he does know is that it's been a while since his beard had been this long and something inside of him feels like experimenting.

When Jean finishes perfecting his new look, he rinses his face and changes into his nightclothes. Once he's dressed he leaves the bathroom with his toiletry bag in hand, a towel slung over his shoulder, and a style of facial hair he had yet to try in his twenty-something years of life.

When Jean opens the door and steps into the ship's narrow passageway, he is abruptly met with one of his fellow Ambassadors.

Suddenly Pieck is standing in front of him, clad in a white nightgown that goes beyond her knees and holding a similar toiletry bag. It's no surprise what she's doing at this time of night, unless ghostly-looking sleepwear and little nifty washkits have suddenly become the latest fashion.

Pieck looks just as startled as he is when she sees him emerge from the bathroom.

"Oh, hey," Pieck starts, then barely a second passes before she notices something rather different about her comrade. Her eyebrow quirks up. "What the hell's on your face?"

Jean frowns, but strokes his newly-trimmed moustache rather protectively. "Thought I'd try something different."

"You thought you'd tape a dying squirrel to your upper lip?" Pieck scoffs. Judging by the look on her face she's not appalled by the 'stache, but more confused. "You look like someone named Francis."

Jean sighs. "I'm experimenting, okay?"

"Experimenting with what?" Pieck laughs. Suddenly she shifts from 'mocking mode' to 'sincerity mode,' though with someone like her those two modes tend to blur the lines.

"Come on, none of us have been on active duty in years, you don't have to look like a first lieutenant in the army anymore," Pieck says in a voice that is as sweet as it is sarcastic.

Jean grumbles. In the mirror his little moustache looked alright — he hadn't been able to make the ends twirl upwards, but he was able to make it look presentable in a way that fit with his life of suits, ties, and peace talks.

But seeing Pieck so easily mock his look makes him think otherwise.

"Okay, good night, Pieck," he ends up saying in place of anything more snappy. At this point of the evening, he only has so much energy left in his system.

He walks past Pieck, wondering if his facial hair might look a lot better in the morning.

"Good night!" Pieck repeats back at him. "Hope that moustache didn't use up all the hot water."

"Ha!" Jean guffaws, then turns around to give her a sardonic look. "Bold of you to assume we even had any in the first place."

[bisxualbucky]

if I could be like 30% more coherent, I would make a post about the stache and oliver's lack of sideburns with "where do you think he got the moustache hair?" as the punchline.

[discobiscotto]

The Ol’ Paguro Razzledazzle

Since I’m hot on design notes right now, may as well get to Luca as he was probably the easiest to predict and cobble together and the most straightforward as far as the reasons behind The Whole Package.

Anyway, let’s get down to it.

Luca’s shape echoes that ‘ol Paguro phenotype. (Seems both sides of the family share similar characteristics). His mom, father, grandmother, and uncle are all fairly stout and portly; his design reflects that.

Luca’s height peaked around 20 years and that’s pretty much it. Short for a man?…about 5’6”. Stayed slender throughout his 20s, biked a lot…Of course genetics have a way of creeping in and goofing it all up.

Luca’s grandmother supposedly has arthritis (this is a “fun fact” from the original movie’s crew??) so I rolled with that as an obstacle for Luca regardless of canon.

His grandmother’s tail is twisted in a corkscrew from the supposed arthritis, so Luca’s tail in his sea monster form shows some gradual twisting. It straightens out while swimming and bent while at rest. Stiffness and low-grade chronic pain setting in during his late 20s made him slow down on the biking, eventually giving it up.

That’s a case of genes affecting life, but then…there’s environmental influences!

During the events of the story, Luca is living in Rome finishing out his doctorate and subsequently planted roots there.

He is a city boy, always in a rush, racing to catch a bus, a competitive academic, in constant crunch…it’s no wonder he’s dependent on processed foods, TV dinners, take-out…he doesn’t cook for himself. He gets all his meals from “Chef Mike” (microwave).

…hello flabbiness. And buongiorno 30s metabolism. 👋🏻

Luca never hit peak Paguro Rotundness…but a meatball nonetheless. Bean shaped torso and all.

Luca inherited his dad’s ’stache. The running joke is that he has chronic “baby-face” and the mustache is the only thing saving him from being mistaken for a child lol

His mustache translates into fins around the nairs (fish nostrils).

Last tidbit: once Luca started obsessively reading books, sometimes in the dark with a flashlight, he was doomed to be nearsighted. So he wears glasses. Pretty common headcanon lol. It’s the 1970s so….double bridge glasses for the DORK.

[kindafooey]

Käärijä - Menestynyt yksilö (eng. successful individual), full English translation (by meeeeee)

Aight here's another one, also requested by @verminetroglodyte! I know someone else got to this one first and a translation already exists, but I really enjoy working with Käärijä's lyrics so I thought, what the heck, two cakes amiright? As with Aikuinen, I took some minor artistic liberties in order to stay as faithful to the original vibes as possible. I also added some annotations this time around, you can find those at the bottom of the post.

musta piti tulla jotain / I was s'posed to be something (x2)

haaveet kaatuu / dreams collapse

27-vuotiaana piti olla omakotitalo / at age 27 I was s'posed to have a house

oma piha, vaimo ja sopivasti kaks lasta koiran kera alla saman katon / my own yard, wife, two kids and a dog all under the same roof

se ei menny nii, ei / didn't work out like that, no

nyt poden etukäteen kolmenkybän kriisii / now I'm going through my 30's crisis in advance

tilaan tuopin ja heitän hynät tiskiin / I order a pint and toss my money at the counter

vittu mikä fiilis / my mood's all fucked

kulkuri laulava, kullan kimalluksesta kaukana / a singing drifter, far from the glint of gold

ei pahemmin naurata / ain't got much to laugh about

nuoren pojan mielikuvitus alko unelmist laukata, jotka voi nyt haudata / guess it's time to bury all those dreams that sent a young boy's imagination galloping

kiristää kaulasta, tuntuu et tukehdun, taisin liian ison palan haukata / my throat closes up, feels like I'm choking, I may have bitten more than I can chew

posin kautta / I try to stay pos

en oo toinen jalka haudassa (viel) / at least I ain't got my other foot in the grave (yet)

Chorus:

ku mä huudan "musta" / when I go "I was"

te huudatte "piti tulla" / you go "s'posed to be"

MUSTA PITI TULLA / I WAS S'POSED TO BE

(x2)

kullanhohtonen menestynyt yksilö / a gold-coated successful individual

eikä mikään hiton kummajainen yksiös / and not some damn freak stuck in a studio apt

taloyhtiön humalainen hylkiö / not a drunk outcast shunned by the housing cooperative

vaan kullanhohtonen menestynyt yksilö / but a gold-coated successful individual

Kela sano meistä tuli muurareita, taksikuskeja ja suutareita / Kela* said we grew up to be masons, taxi drivers and shoemakers

mut osast meist tuli pelkkii tunareita / but some of us grew up to be mere losers

turhakkeita joilla vesi tulee läpi kupareista (nou) / good-for-nothings falling apart from the seams (no)

jos sä tunnistat tästä ittes ni huuda jou / if you're feeling this, holler yo

MITÄ? JOU! okei, hyvä, lets go! / WHAT? YO! Okay, good, let's go!

oli tavotteita jotka piti naulata / had goals I was s'posed to nail

menestyä ja oma taverna aukasta / make it big and open my own tavern

mutta piti omat viikset kaupata / but instead I had to put my stache up for sale**

jotta sais punasta marlia kaupasta / just to afford red marli*** from the store

kiristää kaulasta, tuntuu et tukehdun, taisin liian ison palan haukata / my throat closes up, feels like I'm choking, I may have bitten more than I can chew

posin kautta / I try to stay pos

en ole toinen jalka haudassa (viel) / at least I ain't got my other foot in the grave (yet)

[Chorus]

no menikö sulla hommat niinku luulit? (ei) / so how about you, did things work out just as planned? (no)

oisko tänä vuonna parempi tuuri (ei) / maybe this year you'll luck out? (no)

entäpä ensi vuonna mitä tuumit (ei ei) / how 'bout next year, whadya think? (no no)

no sitä minäki, ollaa samas venees / Yeah that's what I thought, we're in the same boat

tän piti olla mun vuos / this was s'posed to be my year

niinku mä sanon joka hiton vuos / like I say every damn year

uudet kujeet, uus minä / new tricks, new me

mut mä oon edelleen sama hiton minä / and yet I'm still the same freakin' me

[Chorus]

musta piti tulla jotain suurta ja isoo / I was s'posed to be something huge and great

musta piti tulla jotain, mut ei lompakko liho / I was s'posed to be something, but my wallet remains lean

musta piti tulla jotain, piti tulla jotain / I was s'posed to be something, s'posed to be something

ees jotain, ees jotain / at least something, at least something

*This is a reference to a song by Anssi Kela that was popular in the early 2000's. It's generally considered an upbeat (overly so to some) and folksy song that makes fun of social class, but here Käärijä recontextualizes it as a song about privilege, which is interesting considering how poverty, unemployment and severe mental health issues among young adults have reached an all-time high in the past decade. Just throwing in some extra context here because I genuinely think most of Käärijä's lyrics have a subtext of exceptionally sharp-sighted social/societal commentary that deserves more attention.

**He actually did this a couple of years ago, he sold his mustache for 52 euros lol. The buyer showed up ag one of his recent gigs with the mustache in a ziplock bag. There's a hilarious video of it somewhere, I'll see if I can find it after posting

***"Red Marli" refers to a specific cheap juice that basically tastes like sweet non-alcoholic mulled wine. It's a popular winter drink and apparently Käärijä's vodka mixer of choice. He's made a super fun song about this weird spiced juice simply called Punainen Marli, I'm actually thinking of translating that one next hehe. (There's another intertextual cross-reference between these two songs, since at the beginning of Punainen Marli the listener is warmly welcomed to Käärijä's tavern, the one he mentions having dreamed of in this song.)

[seeminglyranch87]

Taylor & Travis Timeline

September 2023 - part 1

September 2 - Travis liked a Louboutin IG post about Taylor's legs ; ) (x)

September 5 - Taylor leaves Electric Lady Studios, NYC

September 6 - New Heights Ep 52 (x) with guest Kylie Kelce on life as an NFL spouse, Jason's Tinder Bio and Setting Up Travis. Personally a favourite episode of mine!

(9:30) When discussing the definition of a "diva" Jason says a diva is" just a famous singer", Kylie looks to Jason with a knowing smile... do they know about Travis' interaction with Taylor?

(20:00) Advice Kylie gives on Travis dating and what he should put on a Tinder profile... "I think you are doing great on your own Trav..."

(25:40) Talking about a tinder profile would Kylie recommend Travis go "Stache or no stache? " Kylie jokingly replies "if they swipe right at your worst, then they'll love you at your best"

(28:00) Jason begins telling Travis how he felt first meeting Kylie after a drunken first date...

Jason tells "it was love at first sight, let me tell you" Kylie replies " he doesn't even believe in love at first sight" Jason responds " I didn't until I met you... it was like fireworks. It was like fireworks exploded the moment she walked through the door..." "I want to feel those fireworks" Travis replies wistfully "It was like you when a movie has like an angel walk through doors and there is only one light on that person" Jason continues "that's what happened, I've always wanted that to happen" says Travis

September 7 - Travis is benched for the Chiefs vs Lions game due to a knee injury (x). Chiefs are defeated 20 - 21. Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City.

September 8 - Taylor is seen at Electric Lady Studios, NYC for a suspected album release party (x)

September 11 - Taylor has dinner with Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Zöe Kravitz, Channing Tatum, Gigi Hadid and Cara Delevingne at Emilio’s Ballato Italian restaurant in NYC (x)

September 12 - Taylor attends the 2023 MTV VMA's wearing a very reputation-esque custom Versace look and the VMA's afterparty in a demin look with a red lip (x x)

Our girl cleaned up at the VMA's

ET publishes an article (x)

A source tells ET that the Kansas City Chiefs tight end and the "Anti-Hero" singer are not officially dating.

A source tells ET, "Travis has been into Taylor for a while and definitely has a crush on her. He is a simple guy that is very funny, charismatic, chill, and loves playing football."

'Kelce', Jason Kelce's Prime Video documentary is released

September 13 - Rumours circulating (x) according to The Messenger

"Taylor and Travis have been quietly hanging out," the source said. "She saw him when she was in NYC a few weeks ago."

September 14 - In an interview on TNF Nightcap (x), Jason Kelce mentions that he saw the rumours about Travis and Taylor but couldn’t comment on their relationship status, saying

"I've seen these rumours. I cannot comment... I don't really know what's going on there, so yeah, I know Trav is having fun. We'll see what happens with whoever he ends up with."

September 16 - ESPN's SportsCenter reporter Adam Schefter & Kevin Negandhi playfully reference Swift's song titles as they allude to Travis & Taylor dating rumours.

"Clearly, Travis Kelce, at this point in time, is trying to Shake It Off and get back out there. He knows how much he's needed and that he's The Man."

"It was a little bit of a Cruel Summer for Travis Kelce with that knee injury but he can see the Daylight, Kevin, he looks like he's Ready For It. And Travis [Kelce] is now tracking to play on Sunday against the Jacksonville Jaguars, despite the fact that he was just limited today."

September 17 - Chiefs v Jaguars, Everbank Stadium, Jacksonville, FL. Chiefs defeat Jaguars 17 - 9

Travis returns to play after his knee injury in the Chiefs vs Jaguars game. During the game, sports commentator Ian Eagle makes multiple Taylor Swift song references (x)

"Kelce finds a blank space for the score!"

Taylor goes out for dinner at Zero Bond with Blake Lively in NYC (x)

Go to previous update -> August 2023, part 1

Go to next update -> September 2023, part 2

Return to the timeline

[warframestuff]

It's that time of year again, Tenno — Warframe is celebrating and showing support for men's health by bringing back Movember! From November 1 to November 30, you can log in and choose from a plethora of magnificent moustaches for only 1 Credit in the in-game Market! Every Warframe is capable of rocking a stylish 'stache, so equip your favorite bristle baton to help support a wonderful cause!

MOVEMBER 2023 CONTEST

Of course, it wouldn't be Movember in Warframe without a Captura contest! Simply don your favorite facial fur and take a screenshot, either alone or in a squad, then share the image on Twitter or Instagram with the #Moframe23 and #Movember hashtags for a chance to win some fabulous prizes! Additionally, screenshots can also be submitted via the Official Forums.

There will be two prize categories: one for unedited submissions and another for edited entries (i.e. using Photoshop or other image editing software tools outside of the game). For clarification's sake: 'unedited' images should only utilize the in-game Captura mode or direct screenshots.

That's not all, Tenno! Community Artist Retro Alchemist has created a Movember 2023 Community Glyph that'll be available starting November 8 — use the code "MOVEMBER2023" on the in-game Market or claim here.

[folkdances]

the stache on top of the black and white filter literally makes him look like, like, some 30s ranch manager or something weird like that

[jewishbarbies]

I'm not sure if there is something wrong with me but what on Earth are people even thirsting over Travis Kelce like I just don't see it 💀💀💀

he’s…white trash/redneck attractive, to put it simply. I could see him cleaning up at a barn dance but he just exudes fuck boy energy, which is embarrassing considering he’s in his 30’s. the porn stache is not working on his favor.

[neosmanlymancave]

overcame my irrational fear of record stores today (30 old hipster with porn staches and micro beanies scare me)

[krazy-for-klara]

Hello lovely people! I am the caring and charismatic Klara~*~♥ I use she/her pronouns and I’m a minor-circuit gym leader specializing in poison types~! Why? Because they’re just so SUPERDUPER CUTE and volatile like me~! If you want to battle me, I’ll be happy to serve you a dish of poison. Oh, Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle… WHEN I KNOCK YOU FLAT ON YOUR ASS… *a-hem* heehee~!

Below are my CUTIE PATOOTIE teammates~:

Galarian Slowking ♀ - Queenie

Galarian Weezing ♂ - Sir Dougalous Stache

Drapion ♀ - Cutie Pie

Scolipede ♀ - Booga Bug

Galarian Slowbro ♀ - Princess Payapa

Newbie patoobies!:

Croagunk ♂ - Kero Kero

((OOC NOTE: Please read below the cut before interacting!!))

DNI: PRO-SHIPPERS, TERFS RAD/LIBFEMS, TRANSPHOBES, RACISTS, ETC. NO NSFW POSTS/RPS ALLOWED

(If you do nsfw, keep it off my blog thank you.)

Hey, mun Nova, here 30+ years old and I use he/they pronouns!

If you have any questions don't be afraid to contact me, my DMs are always open! Also this is an rp blog that takes place in the pokemon universe, so pls keep in mind I will be RPing as such! Also I will be using A LOT of personal HCs, so if you don't like them err... sorry?

>Friendly reminder that if you try to engage a plot with me without at least discussing it with me first, then I will likely not respond. Even if you do approach me with a plot in mind, there is no guarantee I will agree.

I AM A-OKAY INTERACTING WITH OCS. This involves: Fallers, Eebydeebies, sentient pokemon, hybrids, etc. If you're not sure just ask! I promise I do not bite <3

If you are looking to interact with my muse, and your muse is tied to some potentially triggering topics, I would prefer if you discussed potential interactions with me first. This is for my own comfort, so please keep this in mind.

Please keep in mind Klara is not usually a nice person by any means. She will be rude and mean as she sees fit. This does NOT reflect me (the mun's) morals, this is completely IC and fictitious. If this makes you uncomfortable then do not interact. As such, you may be rude back, as long as it is IN CHARACTER. I have anxiety and cannot handle hate/rudeness IRL/OOC.

This is a side blog, so I'll usually send asks on anon and sign off with Krazy-for-Klara or depending.

I follow back from my main @galactic-mermaid

IF YOU READ THIS ENTIRE THING, PLS SEND (DM or Ask) THE PHRASE "Trans Slowpoke" TO ME AS CONFIRMATION.

Check out my other Pokemon RP blogs!:

@piers-official (Piers/Marnie RP blog)

@ghostly-groundskeeper (Pokemon OC)

@darkpunkrocker (Sidney E4 RP Blog)

@thetravelingymleader (Pokemon OC)

@ragingwaters (Nessa RP blog)

@a-gastly-trio (Pokemon Gijinka OCs) ((HIATUS))

[musette22]

The Element of Surprise

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (Evanstan)

Rating: Explicit (18+ only please)

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: rough(er) sex, light degrading language, light roleplay, light Dom/sub

A/N: AKA the long awaited mustache fic (awaited by no one but me, but still). I've had that little text convo at the beginning saved in my notes app for a long time, but I never quite knew how I wanted to follow it up. I still didn’t really know where I was going with this when I finally started writing it, but I should have known it would turn into filth. I’m not sorry, except to those of you who can't abide the 'stache (even though your opinion is wrong) <3 And btw, if you're thinking 'this reads like a bad porn flick', that is entirely intentional 😌 Hope you enjoy! Comments = love <3

****

C: be there in 30

S: I'll put a beer in the freezer

C: I love you

S: I know

S: love you too

C: and seb, just

C: don't laugh ok

S: huh?

S: why would I laugh

C: you'll see

S: ?? what does that mean?

C: be there soon 😘

Sebastian huffs, leaving his phone on the couch as he heads into his kitchen and pulls open the pantry door.

He doesn’t drink enough beer to permanently keep his fridge stocked with the stuff, and while Chris does love his beer (understatement), he’s trying to cut back. Or at least not to drink on weeknights. Too much. But since tonight is Friday and they have a whole weekend ahead of them in which they’ll be doing nothing but relaxing, ordering pizza, and watching movies, Sebastian figures they can start indulging a little early. He grabs a couple of beers from the bottom shelf, sticking them in the freezer to chill, so Chris will come home to a cold beer later.

As he returns to the living room and stretches out on the couch, bag of potato chips in hand, it occurs to Sebastian just how domestic it all feels. The thought makes him smile.

He’s never been very good at domesticity, which it’s why it’s even more surprising how much he likes it, this time around. He knows he shouldn’t get too used to having Chris in his space, he does, but it’s just too nice not to want to soak it up and roll around in it every chance he gets. The prospect of Chris staying at his place for longer than just a weekend makes something warm and giddy fizz in the pit of his stomach. It’s addictive.

For the next few months, Chris will be on stage every night in his first ever Broadway play, and for the duration of its run, he’ll be staying in New York.

Officially, Chris is renting a swanky place in Tribeca.

Unofficially, he’s staying with Sebastian at his tiny SoHo apartment.

The fact that Sebastian lives in New York played at least some part in Chris’s decision to do a Broadway play this year. They were both tired of only seeing each other whenever one of them could take a few days off to visit the other (under the radar, of course). Already, Chris spending an extended period of time in New York has done their relationship a world of good.

Things are good. Easy. If he’s being honest with himself, Sebastian can’t remember the last time he felt so content.

Since coming to New York, Chris has been going to rehearsals every weekday. Sebastian has sometime off in between projects, and he’s set to attend the premiere of Lobby Hero this Monday – ostensibly as an interested co-star, secretly in the capacity of supportive boyfriend. He can’t wait to see Chris shine on stage. Chris is nervous as hell, to the point where he’s wondered if blowing the whole thing off wouldn’t be better than letting everyone down, but there’s no doubt in Sebastian’s mind that he’ll knock it out of the park. Chris is a lot better than he gives himself credit for.

When a car door slams outside his apartment, Sebastian sits up, brushing the crumbs off his sweater – a soft, light blue one that Chris says brings out his eyes. When he darts a look out the window, Chris’s cab is just driving off. The man himself is keeping his head down, so all Sebastian can see is the top of the baseball cap he’s wearing.

Curious now, Sebastian gets up to greet Chris. Less than a minute later, the door to Sebastian’s apartment opens, Chris walks in, looks up, and –

Sebastian chokes on air.

The sound that leaves him is one he’s never heard himself make before; something high and squeaky and extremely embarrassing.

“Don’t,” Chris says instantly, a warning in his voice.

Sebastian gapes at him.

“You have a mustache,” he says faintly, once he’s remembered how to talk.

“Yep.” Chris lifts a hand to his face, fiddling with said mustache. “It’s for the role.”

Distantly, Sebastian registers he sounds a little off, and that’s when he finally notices the hint of apprehension in Chris’s eyes. Just the smallest glint of poorly concealed uncertainty.

Chris is worried, Sebastian realizes with a start.

Worried that Sebastian will laugh at him. That Sebastian might not find him attractive anymore.

Well. No need to worry about that, apparently.

Because for some unholy reason, that thing on Chris’s upper lip – big and bushy and only about half an inch on either side removed from being a handlebar mustache – is currently making Sebastian want to climb him like a fucking tree.

Not that he doesn’t normally want to do that, but urge is suddenly more intense than usual. By about three hundred and twelve percent.

“You look…”

“Ridiculous?” Chris supplies, self-deprecating as always. “Like my dad? A 70s porn star?”

“You look hot.” Sebastian doesn’t quite mean to blurt it out like that, but he does anyway. And. Well. That’s out there now.

Chris’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “I – what?”

“Fuck,” Sebastian breathes. He runs a shaky hand through his short hair, trying to gather his thoughts. “Look, I don’t know what this says about me, but uh. I am like, really fucking attracted to you right now. Even more than usual, I mean.”

For a long moment, Chris looks at him as if he’s crazy, or maybe like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, but once it becomes clear that Sebastian isn’t joking (if only he were), Chris’s expression turns into one of tentative amusement.

“You’re serious,” he says, taking a step closer. Keeping his eyes fixed on Sebastian’s face, he carefully runs his thumb and forefinger over the mustache in a gesture that kind of makes him look like he’s up to no good. “You like it?”

Sebastian swallows. “Uh-huh.”

“Didn’t know you had a thing for guys with mustaches.”

“Neither did I.” Sebastian takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I think it might even just be you.”

“Oh, really?” Chris asks, some of his usual cheek returning now that he realizes he isn’t going to get laughed at. Far from it, in fact. “Huh. What do you like about it?”

“Um,” Sebastian says, swallowing as Chris steps closer. Oh Christ, it’s even worse up close. Or better, depending how you look at it. And Sebastian is looking at it. Can’t tear his eyes away from it, actually. “It. Uh - it makes you look…”

Several words flit, unbidden, through Sebastian’s mind, each one worse than the last. Macho. Authoritative. Mean.

“…good,” he finishes lamely.

Worryingly, Chris’s smile grows into a full-blown grin, and Sebastian’s skin erupts into goosebumps.

Oh, no. Sometimes Sebastian really wishes Chris didn’t know him as well as he does.

Though when Chris takes off his baseball cap, tossing it onto the hallway table, Sebastian hisses. “Ah, okay. The hair is kinda bad.”

Chris snorts, running his fingers through the spiky strands. “Right? I look like an asshole.”

“Little bit.”

Chris gives him a calculating look. “So… does that mean the effect is ruined?”

Sebastian takes a moment to consider this. “I mean, it’s objectively bad, but…” he trails off. Ugh, he really should be used to this by now, but on some level Sebastian still can’t believe that Chris can make literally any look work for him. So annoying. “…no. Not ruined. Sadly.”

Reassured, Chris slowly starts to advance on him. With every step that Chris takes forward, Sebastian takes one back, until his heels hit the wall of his hallway. He holds his breath, feeling like a bunny rabbit about to be eaten by a wolf, though presumably a little more turned on than said bunny rabbit would be at the prospect.

Stopping right in front of him, Chris leans in, placing his hands against the wall on either side of Sebastian’s shoulders.

“Hey, good lookin’,” Chris says, his breath ghosting Sebastian’s left ear. Sebastian shivers with his entire body – something which doesn’t escape Chris’s notice, and makes the grin turn into a smirk. “You come here often?”

Despite how turned on he’s rapidly getting, Sebastian snorts. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

Chris hums. “Funny how I haven’t seen you here before, then.”

“I have been saying you should get an eye test. You’ve been squinting a lot more lately.”

“Seb,” Chris huffs, fighting a smile. “C’mon, I’m tryin’ something here.”

“Right, sorry.” Sebastian clears his throat. “I, uh. I haven’t seen you before either.” Licking his lips, he adds, “Would’ve noticed if I had.”

“You would, huh? And why’s that?”

“Well, see…” Sebastian’s eyes drop to Chris’s mouth. Specifically, his upper lip situation. “It’s the mustache. Kinda hard to miss.”

Chris raises one eyebrow. “You know what else is hard?” he asks lewdly, rolling his hips.

Sebastian can’t stop himself – he lets out a helpless peal of laughter, throwing his head back and making it collide with the wall. He barely notices it, because the next thing he knows, Chris is on him, kissing up his throat and oh hello, okay, that feels weird. Good, but weird. He can’t even say why exactly it feels weird, since Chris’s beard used to tickle too, but somehow, when it’s just the ‘stache without the rest of it, it tickles more than it used to. Feels way more bristly like this.

Under Chris demanding mouth, Sebastian’s laugh morphs into a moan, and he slides down the wall a fraction, pressing into Chris and baring his neck a little further. Chris’s teeth scrape over his Adam’s apple, one of his hands wandering over Sebastian’s chest and squeezing at a pec.

“Sir,” Sebastian says, breathlessly scandalized. “Wh- what are you doing?”

“Just takin’ what I want.” Chris pulls back to look Sebastian in the eye, grabbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You got a problem with that, sweetheart?”

Sebastian gulps, blinking hard. “No, sir.”

“That’s what I thought,” Chris leers, leaning in to bite at Sebastian’s bottom lip and pulling at it with his teeth. At the same time, he runs his left hand down Sebastian’s side and abs, all the way down until it slips between his legs. He cups the growing hardness there, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Oh, fuck,” Sebastian breathes, hands flying up to Chris’s waist.

“How’s that feel, honey? You like that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yeah? You want me to keep touching you?”

“Yes.” Another mean squeeze. “Yes, please,” Sebastian amends quickly.

“How sweet.” Chris palms Sebastian’s dick again, tight and warm and so good, before abruptly pulling back his hand, leaving Sebastian to whimper and buck his hips. “Well, that’s tough, sweetheart,” Chris tells him, “‘cause you’re not gettin’ anything else till I decide you’ve earned it.”

Before Sebastian even has time to process that, Chris spins them around so that Chris is the one with his back against the wall, and then roughly pushes Sebastian down to his knees with a big hand on his shoulder.

Sebastian moans; a little for show, and a little because he genuinely likes being pushed around a bit. Usually, though, it takes Chris a lot longer to let go liken this. It tends to happen only when he’s getting close and his all he blood in his brain has relocated to his dick, but now, it seems that a little bit of clumsy role-play also does the trick.

Whatever it is, Sebastian thinks, he’ll be damned if he lets an opportunity like this pass him by.

Resting his hands on Chris thighs, Sebastian eagerly leans in to nuzzle at his crotch, mouthing at the hardening outline of his dick through his jeans. Chris hisses, hand scrabbling at Sebastian’s hair, trying to find purchase before seeming to realize that Sebastian’s hair is too short to grab right now (and doesn’t that make Sebastian suddenly regret cutting it immensely) and resorting to putting a hand over Sebastian’s face and just pushing him away instead.

“Did I say you could do that?” Chris’s asks. His usually easy voice is now laced with something dark, something almost menacing, sending a shiver down Sebastian’s spine.

He swallows hard, his throat suddenly dry, dick perking up eagerly inside his sweats. “No, sir. Sorry.”

“Damn right,” Chris mutters. “You’ll get it when I give it to you. Now, are you gonna be good for me?”

Sebastian sucks in a shaky breath. Goddamn.

“Are you?” Chris repeats, tapping Sebastian’s cheek to prompt him.

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods, a little dazed. “Yeah, I’ll be good.” He watches, fascinated, as Chris’s right hand deftly flicks open the button on his jeans, before slowly pulling down his zipper, inch by excruciating inch. Sebastian finds himself willing Chris to go faster, to let him see what he’s got in his pants, which is ridiculous, because Sebastian knows what Chris has got in his pants. He should, seeing as he’s sucked it plenty of times. But somehow, what they’re doing here feels all kinds of new and exciting. Makes his breath come faster, eyes glued to the bulge in Chris’s jeans and mouth starting to water in anticipation.

Once his zip is down, Chris lowers his jeans a little, just enough so he can comfortably cup his dick, giving himself a teasing squeeze. “You want this?”

Sebastian tears his eyes away from it and looks up at Chris, who’s looking down at him with a sardonic smile on his face.

“Yes, please,” Sebastian says, feeling his eyes go big and round almost of their own volition.

Chris groans quietly, stroking Sebastian’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Look at you. Such a pretty guy.” A devilish glint appears in his eyes as he adds, “Be a shame if something got you all dirty, wouldn’t it?”

Oh, jesus.

While Sebastian can’t do anything but watch uselessly, Chris takes himself out of his underwear, pulling down his boxers enough to hook the waistband under his balls but otherwise remaining fully clothed. His dick is all the way hard already, flushed that pretty shade of pink Sebastian loves so much, wetness pearling at the exposed tip. Sebastian’s mouth literally waters so much he needs to swallow. Once again, he leans in to try and get his mouth on Chris, and once again Chris pushes him back with an admonishing hand to the face.

“Now, now. Don’t be greedy.”

Sebastian huffs impatiently behind Chris’s palm. “Please.”

Chris chuckles, taking hold of Sebastian’s chin again and running the pad of his thumb over Sebastian’s bottom lip. Sebastian doesn’t waste any time in letting his mouth drop open, something thrilling inside of him when Chris slides his thumb between his lips and presses down on his tongue. Sebastian closes his lips around the digit, moaning softly as he suckles at it. It’s not quite what he wants, but it’s still part of Chris inside of him, and he’ll take what he can get.

Sebastian is all set to protest again when Chris pulls his finger out, but before he can say anything, Chris shuts him right back up again by taking his cock in hand and literally rubbing it in Sebastian’s face.

Sebastian makes a shocked noise, eyes fluttering closed and mouth going slack. He moans, louder than before, and it’s not for show this time. Not even a little bit. Fire licks up his spine, his dick giving a desperate twitch inside his sweats. Fuck, but that’s hot. It’s downright filthy, the way the wetness leaking from Chris’s dick feels on his clean-shaven cheeks. Makes him feel dirty and owned, helpless, desperate for it.

“Open up,” Chris tells him, tapping his cheek. “Stick out your tongue.”

Sebastian does, and then--  Chris puts his dick on it. Just rests it there, not moving. Like he has all the time in the world. Oh, god.

“Stay still.”

Sebastian tries – he tries so hard to keep still, to be good and wait until Chris tells him he can move, but his tongue seems to have a mind of its own, rubbing lightly along the underside of Chris’s cock. The action causes it to spurt out some precome, which drips down his throat, making Sebastian swallow involuntarily. If asked, he’d swear he doesn’t shut his mouth on purpose, but if his lips closing around Chris’s shaft happens to make Chris groan and push in deeper, then that’s just a happy side effect.

“Suck it.” Chris’s voice has gone all low and rough now – and the order should sound stupid, like something out of a bad porn flick, but then this whole thing is kind of like a bad porn flick. And while that would usually be a turn off, right now, it’s setting Sebastian on fucking fire.

“I said, suck it,” Chris repeats, when Sebastian doesn’t obey right away, and presses in deeper, a little rough with it.

Sebastian jolts into action, moaning feverishly as he starts to suck Chris off as if his life depends on it. He uses his left hand, his tongue, his lips, and choking a little when he takes Chris too deep in one go –

And then suddenly, he’s being pushed back again.

Sebastian whines.

“Easy, tiger,” Chris clucks, a little condescending despite his breathlessness. “I said suck it, not slobber all over it like some horny teen that’s never seen a dick before.”

The rejection stings, but it’s a good sting; one that makes the back of Sebastian’s neck burn hot and his dick strain almost painfully against the material of his pants.

“You know,” Chris continues, rubbing the tip of his cock over Sebastian’s slick lips, almost absent-mindedly. “If you can’t control yourself, I’m gonna have to do it for you.” Not waiting for a reply, Chris grabs the back of Sebastian’s sweater and uses it to hold him in place. The neck of it strains against Sebastian’s throat when he tries to lean forward, causing him to draw in a raspy breath. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Sebastian whispers. He’s not sure if that’s the right answer, but it’s the honest answer, and the only one he’s got right now.

Chris shrugs. “Suit yourself.” Hooking his thumb over Sebastian’s bottom row of teeth, he pries his mouth open, forces his jaw down, and proceeds to feed his cock back into Sebastian’s mouth. And this time, he doesn’t stop until the head hits the back of his throat.

Despite having had a bit of practice, Sebastian’s gag reflex kicks in. He tries to swallows, and that makes Chris moan real pretty, so of course he does it again. Chris hips stutter and Sebastian’s eyelids flutter, and Chris pulls out before then sliding all the way back in again, over and over until Sebastian’s eyes start to water and his vision goes blurry.

When Chris tentatively thrusts in a little deeper still, a little rougher and less controlled, Sebastian lets out what is quite probably the most wanton sound he’s ever made.

“Ohh,” Chris muses, low and a little mean. “You like that, huh? Like it when you’re chokin’ on my dick? Yeah, ‘course you do, pretty little thing like you.”

Ho-ly-shit. They’re no strangers to a bit of dirty talk, but this… this feels different. It’s borderline degrading, what Chris is saying and doing, and Sebastian finds himself going wild for it.

Who knew.

Undoubtedly noticing Sebastian’s reaction, Chris does it again, pushing in deep and holding there until Sebastian starts to splutter. “Take it, all of it,” Chris orders, sounding almost unaffected. “Thought you wanted it, huh? C’mon, open wider. Yeah, that’s it.”

Feeling hot all over, Sebastian does his best to do what is asked of him. He opens his throat and relaxes as best he can, breathing harshly through his nose while he takes what Chris is giving him. He honestly might come in his pants any minute now, just from this. Chris’s cock is hard and heavy on his tongue, dripping down his throat, his familiar, musky scent everywhere, clouding Sebastian’s brain with screaming lust. One big hand rests heavy on Sebastian’s shoulder, fingers digging almost painfully into his trapezius muscle, and Sebastian’s knees hurt, and his jaw hurts, and he’s sore, and he’s gonna be even more sore later, but right now, he doesn’t care.

He feels good, amazing even. The only thing that’s missing now is seeing Chris fall apart. He wants Chris to come so badly, more so even than he wants to come himself, that he can feel it all the way down in his toes.

He doesn’t notice that his cheeks are wet until Chris brings up a hand to wipe at the tear tracks, meanwhile keeping up the relentless rhythm of his hips, steadily pumping in and out.

“Hey.”

Sebastian turns his eyes up, meeting Chris dark and heated gaze, misty through the tears. For a split second, Chris looks at him like himself, quickly cataloguing Sebastian’s condition, before seeming to decide they’re still on the same page. His eyes turn mean again, and Sebastian’s already racing heart skips a beat.

Chris coos then, a soft aaww which makes Sebastian feel equal parts cherished and pathetic. “Should see yourself, honey. Cryin’ and drooling all over my cock…” Chris thumbs at the corner of Sebastian’s mouth, wet with a mixture of spit and tears and Chris’s slick. “Jesus, you’re a mess.”

The words are condescending, but Chris’s voice sounds awed despite himself, and Sebastian is lit up with it from the inside out. He can tell Chris is getting close. Can hear it in his breathing, feel it from the way his thrusts get sloppier and rougher, dick occasionally slipping out and rubbing against Sebastian’s cheek before making its home in his eager mouth again.

“Oh, that’s it, baby,” Chris groans, fingers tightening impossibly on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Gonna make me come. Shit.”

Sebastian moans, letting Chris know how much he wants that, willing him to go faster.

Chris curses again, breathless now, heavy lidded eyes locked on Sebastian’s. “So close, f-fuck. Gonna come all over that pretty face, baby. Ahh, fuck yeah.”

Chris thrusts in deeply one last time, his mouth dropping open. Sebastian feels the first spurt of his release hit the back of his throat, before Chris hastily pulls out and lets the rest of it spill on Sebastian’s face. Come hits his cheeks, his nose, drips down into his mouth, warm and wet and Chris. It’s accompanied by an acute sense of accomplishment, making Sebastian feel boneless and sated, like he’s the one who just blew his load.

As if his strings have been cut, Chris slumps, sliding down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor. His eyes, still a little wild with the remnants of his ecstasy, roam over Sebastian’s face, wide like he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he breathes, grabbing Sebastian’s head between his hands and kissing him, deep and filthy. His tongue pushes in, hot and demanding, licking the taste of himself out of Sebastian’s slack mouth. The mustache is rough against Sebastian’s face. It stings a little, and Sebastian relishes it.

Abruptly, Chris breaks the kiss only to pull him closer, practically into his lap. Sebastian is mostly boneless at this point, except for the bit between his legs, so he lets himself be pulled and arranged like a ragdoll until he’s sandwiched between Chris’s spread thighs.

Chris’s hand fumbles with the drawstring on Sebastian’s sweats, sticking a hand down his pants. When his fingers wrap around his aching dick, Sebastian nearly sobs with relief. He hadn’t even realized how desperate for release he was, too focused on Chris’s pleasure to even register his own need, but now that Chris is touching him, finally touching him, the need to come slams into him like a freight train. The angle is awkward, and Sebastian has trouble breathing because his throat hurts and Chris is still trying to sucking his face off, but it doesn’t matter. He is so on edge that after only a few strokes, he cries out and shoots off all over Chris’s hand. He buries his face in Chris’s neck, mouth open and slack against the warm skin beneath Chris’s ear, while he rides out the aftershocks.

Christ, that was good.

An indeterminate amount of time later, Chris starts rubbing circles over Sebastian’s back. It’s a calming gesture, soothing. Apologetic. “You okay?” he asks quietly. “Did I hurt you?”

Sebastian takes stock of his body. He’s sore as hell, but it’s a good kind of sore. Nothing hurts, in the bad sense of the word. “I’m okay,” he slurs, only it comes out more like, “Mmmhfgk.”

“You sure?” Chris presses. “‘Cause I – I got a little carried away there. Fuck, I didn’t even check if that was okay, I’m sorry.”

Sebastian scoffs, lifting his head. If there’s one thing Sebastian is certain of, it’s that Chris would have stopped immediately if Sebastian had given even the slightest indication that he wasn’t having a good time. He fixes Chris with a hard look – or at least, as hard as he’s capable of in his post-orgasmic state. “Did I look like it wasn’t okay? That was so hot, Chris. It was like, maximum okay.”

Chris makes a sound, reaching up to wipe at Sebastian’s cheeks with his sleeve. “Jesus, Seb.” He still looks a little stunned, wide-eyed and red-cheeked. The mustache makes him look a little dumb, and Sebastian really does kind of love it.

He lifts a finger, gently stroking it over the bristly hairs.

“Thanks for making me feel better about this thing,” Chris says, his eyes back to being soft and loving now.

Sebastian shakes his head. “My pleasure, believe me. I mean, I’m a little concerned about myself, but I’m glad it stopped you worrying.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

“’Course not,” Sebastian replies, patting Chris’s chest.

They sit there for a moment, catching their breath and allowing their minds to unmuddle themselves.

Suddenly, Sebastian jolts upright. “Oh, shit.”

Chris is on instant alert, gaze sharpening as he takes Sebastian in from head to toe. “What is it?” he asks, obviously assuming Sebastian has suddenly discovered that Chris did hurt him after all. “What’s wrong?”

“Your beer.”

Chris blinks at him. “My beer?”

“It’s still in the freezer. It’s only supposed to be in there for like, fifteen minutes tops.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “Fuck the beer,” he says, pulling Sebastian back into his chest.

“But what if it explodes and ruins my freezer?”

“I’ll buy you a new freezer, jeez. Dork.”

“Hey,” Sebastian scolds mildly. “Don’t forget I’m the dork who just made you come your brains out.”

“Trust me,” Chris says, leaning in to kiss him again. “I’m not forgetting that any time soon.”

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