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saintheartwing · 4 years

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Undertales of Friendship: In Which Papyrus Shows He’s STILL Great

Papyrus groaned as he saw the ball slip past his paddle yet again, the score on the screen now 3 to 17. He looked over at his opponent, a beanie wearing colt with a dark brown coat and a controller for a cutie mark. Button Mash was the greatest gamer of Ponyville, and the owner of the only video games the town had, all made by Doctor Whooves. Today, Papyrus and Sans were babysitting the little gamer... and the former was getting his proverbial butt handed to him.

"WHATINTHEHOWDIDYOUIDONTSEE...AUGH!" He said, exasperated as Button Mash giggled. Sans just chuckled as he watched, drinking ketchup.

"admit it bro, he has you beat." sans said, shaking his head.

"NEVEEEEER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL MAKE THE ULTIMATE COMEBACK AND... OH BOTHER." He said as the ball went by again, Button winning the game.

"paps, he boned you. big time." He winked at Button Mash, who chuckled.

"SANS! STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH YOUR INCIDENTAL PUNS!"

"sorry pap. It was an... incident." He winked.

"AUGH! I NEED TO GO WASH UP, I PLAYED THAT GAME DOWN TO THE BONE." He went wide-eyesocketed and faceskulled. "OH DRAT. I WALKED INTO THAT ONE." With that, off he went, Button Mash piling on the couch by Sans. He was staying at their house for now until mom was out of work, and he loved coming by. The two had so many cool things from underground, like action figures and comic books, and best of all, thanks to their sciency friend Alphys, he had a place where he could plug in his games besides the outlets at home. Yeah, the two were pretty cool.

"hey kid, you having fun?" Sans asked.

"Sure am! Papyrus is pretty cool guy. But he is kind of a bad loser isn't he?"

"eh, pay it no mind kid. we monsters are ALL losers, I mean all of us lost to Frisk right?"

Button blinked. "I don't get it."

Sans gave a softer smile.

"in losing to frisk we won his friendship and our freedom. and we wound up winning a way out of the underground and into the lives of some neat ponies. like you."

Button smiled, going to change the cartridge in his arcade style machine. Now no longer a ping pong game, it now focused on the adventures of Daring Do. It was a game made by Dr. Whooves for Rainbow Dash, and Button Mash also wound up with it.

This was the game Papyrus came out to.

"WOWIE! WHAT IS THIS GAME, HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?!"

Button giggled. "It's called Daring Do and the Digital Descent. It's about how Daring Do, that's the main character, has to explore these ruins, raiding tombs for lost treasures and hidden artifacts."

Papyrus hmmed. "MAY I TRY ONE LIFE?"

Button was about to nod as the door opened, Button's Mom coming in. Chess Queen was a gamer like her son, with a picture of a chess pawn for a cutie mark, and she loved to play games with her son. Sadly, work often made that hard to do, and so she tried to get what time she could. She thanked the skeleton brothers for babysitting, and left, promising to call on them from now on for babysitting jobs.

But as they left Papyrus just slumped into a chair, Sans looking at him worriedly. "what is it bro?"

"OH... NOTHING."

"come on. I know you too well... out with it."

Papyrus sighed. "CAN ALWAYS TELL WHEN YOUR CONCERNED... YOU STOP TELLING JOKES. ALRIGHT..." He sits up a little. "EVER SINCE WE LEFT THE UNDERGROUND... WELL I KINDA FELT USELESS. I'M NOT A ROYAL-GUARD-IN-TRAINING ANYMORE, I DON'T HAVE TO CAPTURE HUMANS, I DON'T EVEN MAKE ANY PUZZLES!"

Sans hmmed. "have you tried working as a guard for twilight?"

"IT ISN'T THE SAME SANS. THEY AREN'T REALLY NEEDED HERE. I JUST FEEL... USELESS. LIKE I AM THE BUTT OF JOKES... DESPITE NOT HAVING ONE."

Sans chuckled. "well... you made a good joke there."

"THE POINT IS SANS THAT THERE IS NOTHING FOR ME TO DO BUT BABYSIT. YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING ANYWAY SO THAT IS NO DIFFERENT... BUT ME I NEED A GOAL, I NEED AN ADVENTURE. I NEED... SOMETHING." He sighed sadly. Sans looked at his brother and nodded in understanding. Papyrus needed something to fill his life, a goal. He hmmed and recalled that game and suddenly had an idea. It was crazy, but...

"hey, why don't we talk to rainbow dash? i'm sure you would be helpful in one of her adventures with daring do."

Papyrus considered. "WORTH A SHOT. LET'S GO OVER RIGHT AWAY!"

"pap... it's midnight."

"PERFECT! SHE WON'T HAVE LEFT FOR WORK YET!" And with that he leapt out the window dramatically... .right into the outside garbage can.

"I'M ALRIGHT!" sans watched as two ponies clothed in green carried the garbage can off. "NO I'M NOT!"

Sans sighed. This might be harder than he thought.

R,K, Yearling, a well known writer of action stories, was reading aloud the adventures of the famous adventurer Daring Do to several of the young foals and monsters, and was rather pleased how into the stories they all were. She was especially glad to see some of them getting symbols on them which could mean they would also be adventurers.

Good thing to. R. K. Yearling was not as spry as she used to be, despite still being a very active and adventurous philly. See, she was actually in truth Daring Do herself, the legendary explorer, tomb raider, and overall exciting individual. Only one pony in the audience knew who she really was, and said pony with a rainbow mane and tail and a light cyan coat with a rainbow thunderbolt cutie mark was practically squeeing with joy, trying to hide how excited she is to see the legendary pony who was not only her idol, but also a friend.

"... and so, with the chalice of the changelings secure in her maw, Daring Do leapt onto the plane piloted by her best friend and sped away into the night sky. Below, her doglike nemesis shouted up at her, screaming, 'CURSE YOU DARING DOOOOOOOO!' as the temple collapsed around him. And so, the world was saved again, thanks to the brave efforts of Daring Do." R.K. Yearling smiled as her audience cheered, the latest story about the Changelings Chalice already a success. As the foals went to buy a copy, the author approached RD, giving her a hoofbump.

"Not bad reading, R.K." Rainbow said with a wink. The two giggled at the fun of a secret identity.

"I HAPPEN TO THINK SO!" Another voice said, scaring the two out of their skins. A fitting thing, the duo soon seeing Papyrus before them when they turned to the castle library entrance. Papyrus had managed to get out of the garbage dump and clean up, but ever since had searched for Rainbow Dash everywhere. By the time he had located the legendary cloudbuster, they were at the castle library, and Papyrus listened intently to the story R.K. read aloud.

And his favorite part was that Daring Do encountered lots of deadly puzzles, his secret (yeah right ~sans) love. R. K. Yearling, being Daring Do in disguise, was not shocked by the skeleton.

"Ah, you must be one of the monsters from the underground. I have heard of you."

Papyrus squeed. "REALLY? WOWIE! I AM FAMOUS STILL, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM HONORED AND FLATTERED YOU KNOW OF ME!"

Rainbow chuckled some. "R. K., This is Papyrus. Friends call him Pap. He tried to be part of the royal guard for Asgore while they were underground, but has yet to try it for any of the princesses."

"ACTUALLY, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU TWO CAN HELP ME. SEE... I FEEL SOMEWHAT USELESS IN THIS UPPER WORLD. BUT I SAW A GAME BASED ON DARING DO, AND I ALSO HEARD THAT STORY... AND I WANT TO TRY IT! I WANT TO RAID IN TOMBS MYSELF, ESPECIALLY ONE FILLED WITH PUZZLES!"

R.K. Hmmmmed. normally she worked alone. But an adventure with Rainbow proved even she could use some help from time to time. Besides, the adventures she had since that time with Rainbow Dash were some of her best sellers! She hmmmed some more as she considered.

"Well... Daring Do does work with others on occasion. I can contact her and see if maybe... MAYBE... you can join in. But I warn you. She doesn't work too well with others, nor does she allow any slacking off. You need to do your part."

Papyrus smiled proudly. "I AM GRATEFUL! I AM SURE SHE WILL BE HONORED FOR SUCH A COOL FRIEND AS MYSELF TO PARTAKE IN HER ADVENTURES!"

R.K. chuckled worriedly, looking to Rainbow Dash just to make sure this guy was on the level. Rainbow shrugged but nodded reassuringly.

"Well... at the very least he is somewhat good with puzzles..."

R.K. hmmmed. "Perhaps I can convince her then." She said, walking off. Papyrus tilted his head some as he looked at her.

"IS IT JUST ME... OR DOES SHE LOOK A LOT LIKE THE MARE IN HER STORIES...?"

Rainbow laughed nervously and shook her head feverishly, trying to say how wrong he was, leading him to Sugar Cube Corner to have a snack while they waited. They did not have to wait long. As the two were snacking on some cupcakes (Papyrus preferring the one from Muffet now that she FINALLY could make them be edible), in walked a golden coated mare with a mane that was somewhat like a monochrome verson of Rainbow Dash's mane. On her flank was a compass for a cutie mark, and on her head was a pitched hat. The pegasus, Daring Do herself, smiled as she saw her friend and the skeleton.

"OH MY GOD! YOUR..."

"Shhhhhhhhhhhh... not so loud. Even walls have ears." She pointed at a nearby wall, where an ear shaped monster was sipping a milkshake, then groaned.

"Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse me." He said flatly, walking out as Daring Do pulled out a scroll. It was covered in arcane runes, done in a very weird pattern.

"R.K. said you wanted to help, and Rainbow has said you are a monster who likes hard puzzles."

Papyrus nodded. "YES INDEED! MY PUZZLES ARE EXPERTLY COOKED AND VERY FAIR."

Daring DO pointed a hoof at the runes. "Try this one then. No one can figure it out, not even me." She hmmed as she looked at it. But Papyrus blinked.

"THIS... THIS IS NO PUZZLE... IT IS A MAZE!" He pointed at a small dot amidst some lines. "LOOK, THIS HAS TO BE EITHER WHERE YOU START OR WHERE YOU END, AND..." He pointed to a strange symbol that seemed to have no meaning. "... THIS HAS TO BE THE FINISH! SOOOO... IT IS LIKE MY INVISIBLE ELECTRICITY MAZE!" He began to trace his finger across it, but sweated as he could not find the solution. But as he worked...

"Hey... Pap your right!" Rianbow said, pointing her hoof along a path Papyrus had not tried yet. He stared in wonder.

"UNBELIEVEABLE! YOU SOLVED THAT SO EASILY... TOO EASILY..." He said, Daring Do smiling.

"So, It is a map and not an inscription. This brings me much closer to it."

"CLOSER TO WHAT?" Papyrus asked, curious.

"Long ago, the ancient zebras of the jungle wherein I found this believed that there lay various stones of incredible power. These were not like the Elements, or even many amulets or glyphs, this was a stone that was forged of its own will. A stone that, if the legend holds, was able to bring about eternal life.

"It is called the Lazarus Lapis."

Papyrus blinked. "INCONCIVABLE! WHEN YOU'RE DEAD YOU TURN INTO DUST!"

Daring Do chuckled. "Not with this stone. With it you can cheat death over and over. Immortality in the tip of your hoof... or in your case, the palm of your bony hand."

Rainbow Dash hmmed. "So, you want us to come along?"

Daring Do smiled. "I already had it shown that friends can help when the going gets rough. So, your in." He looked to Papyrus. "As for you, I heard your trying to get into the royal guard somewhere."

Papyrus nodded sadly. "YES. ASGORE DISBANDED HIS FOR THE MOST PART SAVE FOR A COUPLE, AND TWILIGHT REALLY DOESN'T NEED THEM, SO THAT LEAVES ONLY THE PRINCESSES."

Daring smiled. "Pretty lofty goal, it is not easy being one of their royal guards. But if you help me out, I'll put a good word in for you. I have connections in the palace."

Papyrus beamed, but before he could say a word Daring continued. "BUT... you have to listen to me, and when I say jump, you ask how far you fly, got it?"

Papyrus saluted.

"Good. We set out at once for the Zebracan Wildlands!" She shouted the three heading out, unaware of a shadowy figure watching their every move, chuckling at what they were looking for.

"Immortality... heh heh heh..."

"DAY 12. HOT AND STEAMY, LIKE MY EXPERTLY COOKED SPAGHETTI. THE WILD JUNGLES OF ZEBRACA BLEACH MY BONES WITH THEIR HEAT. FOLLOWING THE MAP, WE TRAVERSE INTO THE JUNGLE DEEPER AND DEEPER UNTIL..."

"Shhhhhhh..." Rainbow Dash said, chuckling some, Daring Do rolling her eyes. the journey to Zebraca had been easy going until they arrived, and sine finding the starting point, an old abandoned village, they had followed the map through what appeared to be a massive and abandoned zebra metropolis. Daring was on constant lookout, her gaze set to all directions, finally raising a hoof.

"WHAT IS IT?" Papyrus whispered, despite his speech still being all caps for some weird reason. Daring Do looked back at the others and narrowed her gaze.

"We are not alone." She turned back to the front... winding up nose to nose with a zebra clothed in tribal garb and wielding a nasty looking spear. Daring eeped some.

"Take flight!" She screamed, both she and Rainbow Dash taking to the air... but Papyrus just smiled, even as more of the zebra cannibals suddenly appeared.

"WOWIE! YOU LOOK LIKE ZECORA! AND I LOVE THE FACEPAINT AND LEATHER OUTFITS!"

He approached, several of the cannibal zebras speaking to one another in an ancient tongue, one pulling out a book titled "1001 cooking uses for Skeletons", looking Papyrus up and down. You had to admire their creativity in being able to cook Skeletons, all things considered. But still, high above in the air, Rainbow and Daring groaned.

"Is he REALLY that stupid?!" Daring finally said. "They will tear him apart unless he gets outta there!"

Rainbow suddenly had an idea. "Papyrus! Show them your really cool normal attack!"

Papyrus looked up. "OH. OKAY!" He looked to the zebras. "NOW, BE WARNED, IT IS STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS." He began to pull out a variety of bones, heaving them in rather impossible ways, where they formed the shapes of letters, changed size, turned all colors, and even did the occasional ballet routine around the zebras.

Then... the attacks began to hit, Pap not even seeing as his wild attack was sending zebras flying left and right. They began to chant and dodge, some catching bones to use in their soup, others shouting in fear and running. Papyrus heaved as he finished, wide eye-socketed as the zebras had mostly vanished, save one he unintentionally trapped in the perfectly built bone cage.

"OH MY... GUESS I OVER DID IT." He said sadly, Daring Do blinking some.

"Ok... that was cool." She said. Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"Eh, it needs to be about 20% cooler." She said, the two landing below to interrogate the zebra.

"Papyrus... break out the spaghetti." Daring Do said, grinning evilly. The zebra native said just two words.

"EA HAWO."

The three, having learned a little from the zebra thanks to the torture of the almost utterly inedible spaghetti, found that they actually had the map upside down, and finding that out they reached the end of the maze. As it turned out, the end had led them to a massive temple, showing the image of a tomb on it. The three looked at it in awe as they approached.

"Whoa. Awesome." Rainbow Dash said. The others were silent until finally Papyrus spoke.

"EH, IT NEEDS TO BE ABOUT 20% COOLER." The two ponies looked at him, the skeleton blinking. "WELL IT DOES! I MEAN, FOR AN ANCIENT CRUMBLING TEMPLE IT DOESN'T LOOK THE LEAST BIT FOREBODING, AND LOOK! THE ENTRANCE IS WIDE OPEN! A TREASURE OF IMMORTALITY NEEDS A BETTER PUZZLE TO PROTECT IT! THAT'S ALL I AM SAYING!"

Daring Do chuckled... then thought about what he said. Papyrus was right... it was too easy. It wouldn't be so easy to get in... unless...

She eeped as a gunshot echoed, the three taking cover. They looked up, and saw a crimson pony with a long black beard, wearing an outfit like as if the pony was trying to be Count Dracula. around him were several spiky maned ponies, several well armed.

"Well, well, well. We meet again Daring Do." The crimson pony said, chuckling some, his golden eyes staring at her, as she gritted her teeth.

"Bloodname." Daring said, the pony shouting in frustration.

"BloodRAIN! RAIN!"

"SEEMS RATHER SUNNY TO ME. HUMID, BUT SUNNY." Papyruis said, earning him a shot that just pass through his ribs. Thank goodness for being a skeleton. "OK, NOW THE TEMPLE IS COOL. THIS STALLION SURE HAS THE COOL EVIL VILLAIN PART DOWN."

The pony chuckled. "Finally, some appreciation. I may have let you steal my last chance at immortality Daring Do, but the Lazarus Lapis is too amazing to pass up. And soon it will be ALL MINE."

Rainbow Dash snorted. "Not likely. Time to get physical!" She said, about to take flight...

As a tranquilizer dart impacted her thigh.

"Wha? OOOOoooooooohhh..." She managed to get out as she fell to the ground. A similar dart impacted Daring Do. Papyrus eeped as he also was hit by one, falling on his face so hard the skull left an indent of his smile in the ground.

"That WORKED?" One of the men asked, stunned. "Wow. I didn't think a skeleton could get knocked out like that."

"I suppose they're not the only ones stunned." Bloodrain remarked with a wry smile. "Bring them. We may need them inside for the traps."

The men loyal to the evil pony grabbed the three and hauled them in. Inside, there was a massive open cavern, the floor metallic in nature, with an opening on the other side.

"Strange... what is this?" The lead pony said, sending one of his men across. But no sooner had he taken three steps when he suddenly let out a scream, a jolt of electricity shooting through him.

In an instant the minion dissolved into dust.

"An electricity maze?!" BloodRain said. He looked over at Daring Do and checked her supplies. And among them was a paper. It listed three challenges leading to the Lapis.

"First, the Path of Life. He who takes the easy path through life will find only a quick death.

Second, the Way of Life. He who cannot decide what is most important is unworthy of life.

and Third, the Stone of Life itself. He who understands the word of life may claim command over it."

He sighed as he looked to the three. "Awaken them. NOW."

As he awoke, Papyrus saw that Daring Do was being held by one of the guards, and Bloodrain had a gun toting guard aimed at Rainbow Dash. Papyrus was wide eyed.

"Wha...?"

"Listen monster. You have two choices. Either you cross the challenges or you will watch your friends suffer, and then still have to get the Lapis to save them. Which will it be?"

Ppayrus blinked. He looked at his friends. He then narrowed his eyesockets.

"DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A BAD TIME?"

BloodRain eeped as Papyrus' left eye glowed a frightening orange. But still he stood. He said nothing, everyone in the room shocked as he spoke outside of his normal self. He looked at the paper and read the clue. Then he looked around the massive room... and saw the answer.

"IT'S THE STALAGTITES!" He said, throwing several bones at them. One by one they began to fall onto the metal plate, forming a path. It was a lot of hard work, but the path through life was never easy. As the last of several stalagtites fell, he leapt onto them and just walked across with no problem, then he reread the clue.

"OK... ONE DOWN... NOW... THE WAY OF LIFE." He entered the next room and saw that the floor was actually suspended above what looked like a chamber of lava. In the center of the room were various pillars with pictures, seven in all. They showed bits, food, a heart, a smile, a spear, a ballon, and a skull. Papyrus almost hit the skull given how cool it looked but he remembered the clue. What was most important?

He looked at the pictures. he knew each one represented something. And he chuckled.

"OK, WHOEVER MADE THIS PUZZLE MUST HAVE FELT BAD AFTER THE FIRST ONE. IT IS TOO EASY." He pushed on the heart. "LOVE. LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS... WAIT!" Quickly he realized there was two answers, and before he took his hand off, he also pressed his hand on the smiling face. Above him, two ropes began to burn away. Papyrus watched as they led down to the door on the other side, finally opening up. He almost waked through when he heard the click of the gun.

"Good enough skeleton. Now get over here. We got the last one." Bloodrain said, laughing as he walked by. Papyrus growled at his men, who suddenly shivered. As BloodRain went through, he turned, bones in hand.

"TIME TO USE THE TECHNIQUES SANS TAUGHT ME." He quietly murmured, suddenly letting fly with the bones, using his fabled blue attack. One by one all of the gyuard ponies felt weighted down, Rainbow and Daring staring.

"YOU TWO STOP THAT CREEP, COOL THOUGH HE IS. I GOT THESE LOSERS! SINCE WE CANNOT BE FRIENDS... WE WILL BE... SENDING THEM TO TRACTION!"

Daring froze. "He almost got it." She said, she and Rainbow flying after Bloodrain, but soon emerging in a final massive chamber, the crimson pony standing over a zebra.

And all around were stones with various markings on them. DOZENS of them.

"Well if you won't tell me..." Bloodrain finally said, grabbing a random stone. "I'll just have to find out by trial and error!"

"NO!" Daring Do shouted, but it was too late. even as Bloodrain rubbed the stone on himself, he suddenly began to regress from a frightening and powerful being down to a cute and helpless baby foal, crying and begging for mommy. Daring Do blinked some.

"Well... that was unexpected." She said, looking to the zebra, who stood up. On his flank was a familiar looking mark, looking suspiciously like an outline of the Delta Rune.

"He chose poorly." The zebra said in perfect Equestrian. "As for you... I knew you would come. the legend told of this day."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Legend?"

"Yes. The Lazarus Lapis. It was never meant to be in Equestria, or in any dimension where it could be used for terrible means. The legend states that when greedy hearts seek it, there will come ones who will find the stone, and use it's hidden power to send it somewhere safe. So it has always been, so it always will be."

Daring Do nodded. "But... which stone is it?"

"You must choose." He pointed to baby Bloodrain, who was sucking his hoof innocently. "But... choose wisely. The true Lazarus Lapis allows immortality. False ones will bestow other blessings and curses. The one he had returned him to infancy."

Daring Do hmmed. "It would have the word of life... the word of life... Lazarus. He who was dead and reborn..."

Rainbow looked to her. "Daring?"

"An old legend. Lazarus was a name given to a pony that died and was reborn. Life and death in one stone. But... what does it mean?"

"I KNOW!"

The three turned to see Papyrus, walking in casually. "THE DELTA RUNE! THE LAZARUS STONE MUST HAVE THE DELTA RUNE, LIKE THIS ONE!" He pointed to a stone with a set of wings and three triangles on it. He picked it up... and nothing happened.

"Only one way to know..." Daring Do said. She pulled out the ashes of the pony who had braved the maze, ashes she had seen upon waking up. The minions had said what happened. If this was the true stone...

Papyrus touched the stone to the ashes, and they began to glow. Slowly, the ashes began to reform into the servant pony, with less scratches and a cleaner coat. He gasped and was wide eyed, finally letting out a delighted cry. "HA! I'm free, I'm free-"

Before falling onto another stone, and turning into a changeling. Still he laughed.

"You have chosen... wisely." He turned to Papyrus. "It is to your world the stone must go. That is the fate of the stone of life, to be given to those who can guard it." "He turned to the side, pressing his hoof, and revealing a massive vortex. "If you wish to keep it, you must stay here and guard it. But if you throw it in, it will go where and when it is meant to, to one from your world meant to safeguard the stone."

Papyrus smiled, looking to Daring Do and Rainbow Dash. The latter spoke with a smile. "Eh, we got the princesses to help with reformation stuff, we don't need it here. Besides, if it fell in the wrong hands..."

Daring sighed. "Shame we can't keep something though... a souvenir."

The zebra smiled. "That can be arranged." He turned to Papyrus, who nodded.

"OK! I DECLARE THIS QUEST COMPLETED! WE WIN!" He tossed the stone in, the vortex closing forever. Sighing and smiling, he turned to the others. "WELL! THAT WAS FUN! WE MUST DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME!"

All in the room, even the baby and the changeling, laughed.

And a few days later...

"SANS! SANS! WAKE UP!"

Papyrus was standing by his brothers unkempt bed, the clock nearby saying 4pm. Sans opened his left eye, showing the blue inside.

"pap..." But Sans froze, seeing his brother. He sat up and was wide eyesocketed, smiling broadly.

Papyrus was clothed in golden armor, wielding a nice looking halberd, a flowing cape behind him. He smiled proudly.

"I DID IT! CELESTIA MADE ME PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD! SEEMS THE ACTIONS I TOOK WITH DARING DO CONVINCED HER TO BE HER ROYAL GUARD HERE IN PONYVILLE, PROTECTING TWILIGHT!"

Sans hugged his cool brother. "i knew you would do it buddy. you made me so proud."

Papyrus began to cry. "FINALLY... AFTER SO LONG... WHO KNEW ALL I HAD TO DO WAS FACE TERRIBLE DANGER, SOLVE SOME PUZZLES, AND FIND A LEGENDARY STONE CALLED THE LAZARUS LAPIS!"

At that, Sans froze. The Lazarus Lapis? But... it couldn't be... could it?

*50 years ago*

In the underground, Toriel looked through the ruins, looking for snails, as she heard a whooshing sound behind her. When she turned around, she saw a small stone on the floor, oddly with the mark of the Delta Rune.

"What is this?" She said, picking it up. Legends spoke of a stone like this that could reform the recently destroyed. Given the failed determination experiments sans told her about, many doubt the stone existed.

She smiled some. "Maybe... with this... .there won't be anymore taken souls." She said, looking for a way to use the stone to make resurrection points, among other things. If she only knew the full story of why the stone came to her... or that it was to be with her back in Equestria.

But... what entity had caused this to be, or had it simply been a coincidence?

THE END?

...

...L...o...R..e...M...i...P...s...U...m...D...o...C...e...T...

#Undertale #Undertales #MLP #My Little Pony #My Litte Pony Friendship is Magic #Crossovers #fanfic #fanfiction #crossover

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luvneedsnosyt · 5 years

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My Favorite Albums of 2019

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2019 You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2019 here.

My Previous monthly lists from 2019: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

My list last year for my top albums of 2018 can be found here.

*Indicates someone I saw live in 2019

Honorable Mentions:

Anderson .Paak - Ventura Genre: Hip Hop / R&B/ Soul

Recorded at the same time as last year’s Oxnard, Ventura is the more tender and unassuming brother of the two. Despite the vulnerability this seems to be Anderson’s more comfortable persona. Focusing on love and feelings and other mushy stuff. The experimenting on this album between R&B, jazz, electronic music creates a glossy and elaborate form of hip hop. At times Anderson’s versatility can get a bit in the way on long form projects, here that creativity is perhaps the most channeled of his career.

Proof: Reachin’ 2 Much (Feat. Lelah Hathaway) / Chosen One (Feat. Sonyae)

Anna of the North - Dream Girl Genre: Synth-Pop

The tender and delicate music of Oslo singer Anna of the North is back following up her touching 2017 debut album. Anna’s music is not totally unassuming but is very subtle and reserved. You can take a moment to stop and feel the soothing vibes or you can pass it by and not notice. The synth based production is meant to provide a basis to get hips moving but also not to reach out and demand your attention in a needy way. Anna’s vocals are always warm and bouncy even when singing about sad subject matters.

Proof: My Love / Playing Games

Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? Genre: Synth-Pop

I stumbled on Billie Eilish’s “ocean eyes” single early on and instantly became a fan of her dark and brooding sound. It reminded me of the first time I heard The Weeknd. Even being an early subscriber it did surprise me a bit the vice grip the 18 year old would put on 2019. I knew she would find an audience with the undeniable talent for songwriting and impacting voice beyond her years. I did not foresee this low lit and frankly weird music hitting the mainstream with such a force, but I sure am glad it did. This is where I would say I can’t wait to see how she follows up this monster of debut album, but honestly she deserves to revel in the influence it is having and enjoy this moment. She will be around for however long she wishes to in the industry; that I am certain of.

Proof: bad guy / you should see me in a crown

BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 Genre: R&B / Soul

It was a long time coming for hook provider BJ The Chicago Kid’s 2016 debut album In My Mind. He showed he can carry a solo project just fine. Now in 2019 he’s back for his victory lap with another soulful and sexy album that follows up his debut quite nicely. BJ is a bit of a throw back to the late 90’s/early 2000’s soul music which is right up my alley so you already know I ride for it with no qualms.

Proof: Rather Be With You / Reach (Feat. Afrojack)

Bon Iver - i,i Genre: Indie Pop / Folk

Justin Vernon’s band Bon Iver has created quite a robust cult following that’s very impressive off of four albums spanning over 12 years and in non-uniform song structures and themes. i,i might be the band’s most straightforward record, but that doesn’t mean there’s any downgrade in creativity and innovation. As always the case with Bon Iver albums your senses are confronted with multiple instruments and production tools used in traditional ways and used in ways you wouldn’t think of. Grooves are created then shifted and the only real constant is you don’t know what direction the music will go next. But that’s part of the joy and you know Justin Vernon is a trustworthy navigator on this expansive journey.

Proof: Hey, Ma / U (Man Like)

Bring Me the Horizon - amo Genre: Rock / Alternative

On their sixth album, the English rock group took experimentation and expansion seriously broadening their rock sound to new horizons (ok, that was bad). amo isn’t as much a departure for the alt-Metal group but more increasing their pallet to include more cross genre influences dipping into punk, pop, electronic and hip hop. There’s definitely risk with lofty exploration so suddenly in a band’s discography but BMTH pull it off rather elegantly here creating a unique blend that sounds a bit like a harder hitting Muse record. I am one to applaud audacious creative efforts to expand on ones sound if the motives seem pure; even when those attempts don’t quite work (Mumford & Sons - Babel, Jack White - Boarding House Reach, Coldplay - Everyday Life this year for instance). When they do stick the landing you can bet I am in awe.

Proof: in the dark / medicine

Circa Waves - What’s It Like Over There? Genre: Alternative / Rock

I will admit the English band hasn’t really been on my radar before this album, so I can’t ascribe how this album is different than their previous two albums (from what I've read it is very different though). What I do know if this is some of the best rock music to come out of 2019 in a year that wasn’t too kind to the genre. There are many emotional moments of this record that really bring levity to the glossy and cinematic music backdrops. There are two albums already announced in early 2020 from the group; they are definitely on my radar now.

Proof: Sorry, I’m Yours / Be Somebody Good

Chance The Rapper - Big Day Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

With how long he’s been around and how many Mixtapes and side projects Chance has dropped it’s pretty surprising this is his first ever official LP. When you wait that long and build (to his credit) the anticipation he has, a lot of weight gets put on that first album; unfortunately I feel that weight affected the product and swallowed it up a bit once released. Chance, I think, felt a responsibility to speak to his vast diversity we’ve seen over the years in sounds and flows. That resulted in a bit of a bloated and disjointed project. Something Chance projects always seem to have is a continuity despite their variety that seems to be absent here. Once the short coming are acknowledged there is some really great songs here with few missteps (although there are a few). Some more quality control, restraint and a concept to follow there are the makings of a possible top 10 of the year album here. My favorite moments are the nostalgic and 90’s R&B influences moments that sprinkle the album, a whole project with those as more a driving force could really be something special.

Proof: All Day Long (Feat. John Legend) / Zanies and Fools (Feat. Darius Scott & Nicki Minaj)

Dabin* - Wild Youth // Wild Youth (The Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

Toronto multi-instrumentalist and electronic DJ Dabin returns with a sophomore album of more emotional and evocative electronic soundscapes. The melodic album flows smoothly through inspirational tracks of finding oneself coming to a climactic crescendo with the cinematic closer “Alive”.

Proof: In Flames (Feat. Lexi Norton) / Alive (Feat. RUNN) // Part-Time Lover (Crystal Skies Remix) Feat. Claire Ridgely / Alive (Trvecta Remix) Feat. RUNN

Dermot Kennedy* - Without Fear Genre: Pop / Soul

Irish singer Dermot Kennedy’s voice comes in like a freight train straight for your ear drum. He sings with such evocative passion and force it is quite a sound to behold. That’s not to say Without Fear is all potent bellowing. Dermot on his soulful debut here has plenty of softer, tender moments as well.

Proof: Moment’s Passed / Redemption

Foals - Part 2: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Genre: Rock / Alternative

The second part of the English Rock bands 2-part album project this year is the louder and more aggressive sibling. The music is a bit less glossy and more gritty then it predecessor but still is quite refined in its ferociousness. I do prefer the more melodic first offering of the two but that doesn’t need to take away from how exhilarating this album is as well.

Proof: The Runner / Neptune

GoldLink - Diaspora Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

With his second album, DMV rapper GoldLink dove deeper into his African roots with increased Afro-inspired production and themes. Diaspora is a fusion dish of of East coast Hip Hop base, with 90’s R&B notes, a sprinkle of Jazz, a dash of DC house and intermixing of traditional African qualities. It’s quite a vibrant and varied plateful!

Proof: Zulu Screams (Feat. Feat. Maleek Berry & Babi Bourelly) / More (Feat. Lola Rae)

Goldroom - Plunge /\ Surface Genre: Electronic / House / Dance

Returning from a brief hiatus after his debut album, 2016’s West of the West, Goldroom sneaked in at the end of November with one of the years most fun house records. The wait was definitely worth it for Goldroom fans. Plunge /\ Surface has a sense of wonder, discovery and joy that I think was quite well timed.

Proof: Do You Feel It Now (Feat. Love & Alexa) / Just Like A Dream (Feat. Nikki Segal)

Georgia Maq - Pleaser Genre: Synth-Pop / Alternative

My late addition to my already completed list is this surprising and electrifying debut solo project from the lead singer of Melbourne punk/Alternative group Camp Cope. Just slipping in with an early release right before my cut off date (for my own sanity). This album is nothing like the sound of her band though. Instead Georgia Maq looked to artists like Robyn, LCD Soundsystem and Cut Copy for her solo venture with some delightfully delicious 80′s synth vibes. Pleaser is dark and atmospheric but not devoid of brittle emotion and angst.

Proof: Pleaser / Big Embarrassing Heart

Hozier* - Wasteland, Baby! Genre: Indie Pop / Soul / Folk

Years later, when looking back on Hozier’s career, we may look back at this album as a sort of turning point. The Irish singer through early EP’s and his debut album has always had a powerful form of soulful Folk music that moves people to many emotional states. But on this sophomore album Hozier seemed to figure something out. Incorporating a Motown feel into his music has unleashed it and his strong voice to a new level. Wasteland, Baby! Is a sentimental excursion through love, empowerment and hope.

Proof: Movement / Would That I

James Blake - Assume Form Genre: Progressive Pop / Electronic / Indie Pop

English producer and singer James Blake returns with his artful progressive form of pop music that only he can produce. Assume Form continues in his tradition of bending song structure and genres to his will to create powerful evocative landscapes to explore. The experimental artist keeps finding ways to push the boundaries while still making beautiful lush music to get lost in.

Proof: Barefoot in the Park (Feat. ROSALÍA) / Where’s The Catch? (Feat. Andre 3000)

Kevin Abstract - ARIZONA BABY Genre: Hip Hop

BROCKHAMPTON founding member drops off his third solo album which is a tender and impacting affair through the life of a figure in hip hop with a lot of hate sent to him, but a lot of love to send out. The openly gay rapper using this as a form of empowerment to let others who may be struggling know they have the power within themselves to make their life something of fulfillment.

Proof: Joyride / Mississippi

Kim Petras - TURN OFF THE LIGHT [Mixtape] Genre: Synth-Pop / House / Dance

Only a few months after dropping her debut album the new, exciting singer wants to keep us all guessing and elaborated on her Halloween EP from last year with this full mixtape. Her debut album is more Synth-Pop with some targeted EDM moments. This is a burst of haunting house music meant to get your heart rate pulsating and feet moving.

Proof: There Will Be Blood / Close Your Eyes

Mabel - High Expectations Genre: R&B / neo-Soul

British female R&B artists are having quite a moment right now. With the success of Jorja Smith, Ella Mai and RAYE last year to Sinead Harnett, Mahalia (it was seriously hard to take her off my list) and Mabel this year. Mabel has already had some hits from her 2017 mixtape Ivy to Roses, so this debute is quite a confident strut with tales of love, love lost and overcoming. The glossy production establishes a bouncy, beach vibe, probably influenced from her origins on the Mediterranean coast of Spain. Her stellar song writing is really what takes the attention throughout as every track has an ability to establish a connection with the listener quite effortlessly.

Proof: Don’t Call Me Up / Mad Love

Maverick Sabre - When I Wake Up Genre: Pop / Soul

English/Irish singer Maverick Sabre returns with his third album that’s a unique and soulful jaunt. The 29 year old’s deep voice has a commanding and captivating effect on the listener throughout. The somewhat minimalist backing lets the potent voice and piercing song lyrics be the emotional driving force to great effect.

Proof: Slow Down (Feat. Jorja Smith) / Weakness

Rapsody - Eve Genre: Hip Hop

For her third album, Grammy nominated rapper Rapsody drops off quite a Tour de force of inspiration and empowerment. Every track is named after a black female icon that has influenced Rapsody. The North Carolina rapper’s lyrics flow and dense lyrics are top notch as always. The production has an increased levity to match the themes. Rapsody has gotten where she is from sheer will and strength within, now she's looking outward to inspirations to find her next step up the ladder.

Proof: Nina / Iman (Feat. SiR & JID)

The List:

Last One Out: Kim Petras - Clarity Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

The debut album from German singer Kim Petras was a long time coming and the build up was quite a slow burn. Since 2017 the 27 year old singer started one by one dropping pretty exciting one-off singles (none of which show up here). To our surprise her first official project was a surprised-dropped Halloween themed EP in 2018 (that, as seen in my Honorable Mentions above, was released this year as a full mixtape). Finally in early 2019 we get Kim’s first full length album and the wait was well worth it. Clarity is an electric and glossy affair of lust, self love and female empowerment. Kim is on quite a tear right now from this to her features on other artists projects that I don’t see slowing down anytime soon.

Proof: Icy / Got My Number / Do Me / Another One

35. 88rising - Head in the Clouds II Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

LA based collective 88rising began as mostly Asian-American rap artists. As they went in a more serious direction with their music and label they began acquiring production and R&B talent that has elevated the output to something to really admire. In the early stages I was a bit dismissive of the artists but the last three years I have increasingly been won over. With the success of Joji’s 2018 solo album the collective chose to lean heavier into the electro-R&B sound on their second compilation album that is paying great dividends here. Head in the Clouds II is filled with spacey tender songs that inspire and captivate. The lessons and progressions everyone in the collective are making adds to my excitement with each release.

Proof: Joji & GENERATIONS from EXILE TRIBE - Need Your Love / Jackson Wang & Higher Brother’s - Tequila Sunrise (Feat. AUGUST 08 & GoldLink) / RHYME SO - Just Used Music Again / NIKI - La La Lost You

34. Karen O* & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock

Two of today’s icons collide on this collaboration album that probably should have happened years ago. Yeah Yeah Yeahs front singer Karen O has influenced so many of today’s alternative artists (especially women led ones), and it’s always a solid veteran karaoke bar move to put in “MAPS”. Meanwhile Danger Mouse has been a go-to producer in both hip hop and alternative and formed a few emblematic pairings on albums with MF Doom (as Danger Mask), CeeLo (as Gnarles Barkley) and James Mercer of The Shins (as Broken Bells). Together Karen and DM are a perfect pair. Karen is as potent as ever singing over a lush and intricate backdrops by the paws of Danger Mouse.

Proof: Lux Prima / Turn the Light / Woman / Redeemer

33. Little Simz - GREY Area Genre: Hip Hop

London rapper comes in swinging with her powerful third full length album. Her flow is so measured and confident and firing on all cylinders here with no wasted syllables or breaths on any verse along the project. The song subject matters dive into some pretty personal and touching territory letting the listener into some intimate thoughts. At 25, we are witnessing an artist really come into their own and it is an inspirational and beautiful thing.

Proof: Offense / Boss / Venom / Pressure (Feat. Little Dragon)

32. Shura* - forevher Genre: Synth-Pop

For her second album, Shura used the same 80’s nostalgic electronic pallet of her debut but this time a bit more slowed tempo with a layer of added sensuality. While her marvelous 2016 debut, Nothing’s Real, focused on the angst of growing into young adulthood, finding ones self and feeling comfortable in your own skin (as she initially struggled coming out publicly as a lesbian artist). On forevher, Shura focuses more intimately on her own relationship. Many of the songs being inspired by precise moments in the relationship with her current girlfriend, there is a noticeable narrowing of the scope. The result is an incredibly tender offering that allows us a glimpse into the UK Singer’s warm heart.

Proof: religion (u can lay your hands on me) / the stage / flyin’ / forever

31. A R I Z O N A - ASYLUM Genre: Synth-Pop

The New Jersey electro-pop band A R I Z O N A follows up their 2017 debut album nicely here. Maintaining their knack for writing catchy as hell hooks along enticing dance inducing electronic production. With features on both Don Diablo’s 2018 album Future and Avicii’s posthumous release, TIM, this year, the band’s notoriety seems to be on a steady incline.

Proof: Nostalgic / Find Someone / Freaking Out / Still Alive

30. VÉRITÉ - new skin Genre: Pop

Brooklyn based singer VÉRITÉ returns with her sophomore album aimed right for all of your feels at once. VÉRITÉ’s sound is understated and delicate, yet packed with raw and identifiable emotions. There is a progression as well from Somewhere in Between with a noticeable bit more comfort in moments where she can let loose. new skin, doesn’t reach out and scream for your attention, but it is a rewarding and sentimental ride for those that give it.

Proof: good for it / body in my bed / think of me / gone

29. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Ezra Koenig and Vampire Weekend took their sweet time for their fifth album. Six years to be exact from 2013’s Modern Vampires of the City. Also in that time founding member Rostam left the group as a full time member (though still contributing to this album on a few songs). The time lapse and shifting of collaborators led to their most sprawling and experimental album to date. There are some swings that don’t quite connect but for the most part this is an exhilarating and unpredictable exploration by the band that is definitely worth the journey.

Proof: Harmony Hall / This Life / How Long? / Sympathy

28. LÉON - LÉON Genre: Pop / Soul

When I saw this was Swedish singer LÉON’s debut I had to google to make sure. It’s been awhile since LÉON first popped on my radar with her beautiful and sultry tunes, but those have been from three EPs. The wait was well worth it for this angelic record of pleasant pop bops, one after another. These tracks make themselves right at home in your subconscious; taking their shoes off and checking what’s in your fridge. LÉON’s voice itself has a gentle nature to it coupled with a raspy, sensuality that is enduring and soothing.

Proof: Lost Time / Falling / Hope Is A Heartache / You and I

27. MUNA - Save The World Genre: Synth-Pop

No sophomore slump for the American trio, MUNA here. Save The World is quite a refreshing progression from their tender 2017 debut. There’s a little more of a free feeling on this album that comes with increased confidence in their craft. The tracks are all incredibly catchy and easily stick with you well after first listen. “Stayway” is the shining jewel on the album and one of my most favorite tracks of 2019.

Proof: Number One Fan / Stayaway / Never / Hands Off

26. Foals - Part 1: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost / Part 1: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost (Remixes) Genre: Rock / Alternative

The 1st part of English rock band’s 2-album project comes in like a Indy Car full speed for subconcious. The unique melding if Synth based beats and guitar driven grooves creates an enticing energetic sound you can get lost in. Part 2 was a big more reaching and aggressive, where Part 1 had more of a basis track to track that I felt made it the stronger outputting of the two.

Proof: Exits / White Onions / In Degrees / On The Luna // In Degrees (Purple Disco Machine Remix) / Syrups (Vincent Taurelle Remix) / Exits (Lawrence Hart and Little Clubs Remix) / Exits (George FitzGerald Remix)

25. Denzel Curry - ZUU Genre: Hip Hop

Denzel Curry has always had promise to me with his frantic delivery. There were meaningful lyrics there and more focused passion than most of his peers his age in hip hop. The trick was channeling that boiling emotion for the rapper, that he struggled with early. Last year’s TA13OO was the first hint the 24 year old was starting to get this balance in his music. Only ten months later we see a fully formed Denzel with the directed missile that is ZUU. There aren’t many wasted moments here as Denzel focuses on what he needs to say and the most effective way to say it. All the while also making track after track meant to be played at the loudest decibel possible; that all smack the concrete with aggression and no remorse.

Proof: ZUU / RICKY / BIRDZ (Feat. Rick Ross) / CAROLMART (Feat. Ice Billion Berg)

24. Tei Shi - La Linda Genre: R&B / Soul

For those of us following Tei Shi’s career since her early EP days there is a definite increase in her confidence as an artist on this sophomore album. The Argentina-born Colombian artist’s beautiful melodies flow at their own pace with a delicate precision and grace. Tei Shi’s low lit sounds lives in a mellow and assured range making the pockets where she lifts her voice that much more impacting. There’s both a layer of innocence and care as well as a level of empowerment and self-assured sex appeal in her vocals that are impossible to not get enthralled with.

Proof: Alone in the Universe / Even If It Hurts (Feat. Blood Orange) / When He’s Done / A Kiss Goodbye

23. Sigrid - Sucker Punch Genre: Pop

23 year old Norwegian singer Sigrid burst on the scene with her successful debut EP in 2017, and it’s been an effective upward trajectory since. Another EP came out in 2018 before this marvelous debut album. Sucker Punch packs quite a punch of delightfully infectious and identifiable jams. There is an ease to the charismatic mood of this album that shows how genuine Sigrid is with every song written. This young singer has some definite longevity ahead of her in the pop world.

Proof: Basic / Strangers / Don’t Feel Like Crying / Don’t Kill My Vibe

22. Charli XCX - Charli Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

After her sophomore album, 2014’s Sucker, English singer Charli XCX stated she felt a bit restricted in her solo career and decided to break out of the standard production method. A whole album was made but leaked online and Charli decided to scrap the project and began tinkering with her music more. During this period first came the 2016 collaboration EP with the producer SOPHIE, Vroom Vroom. Then in 2017 came two mixtapes. It was these two mixtapes Charli started realizing how she can warp and bend music to her will. Her production became more of a unique melding of dancey Synth-Pop with abrasive Electronic sounds. Her hooks were still top notch but the song structure began to become more of a free flowing organism then a structured framework. Taking what she learned from SOPHIE, and the two mixtapes into her third album, Charli is a project of abundance and unfiltered passion. The feelings are real and human but are focused into a diamond and refracted out into numerous directions. The description sounds chaotic but there still is a very controlled nature to the chaos of this vibrant pop. Charli has found a way to manipulate pop music to contort like a complicated yoga stance. She's Neo from The Matrix. I suggest just plugging in and letting the complex machine she built take you away.

Proof: Gone (w/ Christine and the Queens) / Blame It On Your Love (Feat. Lizzo) / Silver Cross / February 2017 (Feat. Clairo & Yaeji)

21. Bishop Briggs - CHAMPION Genre: R&B / Pop / Soul

Less than 18 months after her roaring debut album, British singer Bishop Briggs is back with her sophomore effort. CHAMPION is a bit more subdued than last year’s Church of Scars, but still the centerpiece is the powerful vocals. My only critique is that I feel the short timeline of this project when I listen. I don’t know the reason for such a short turn around, but some of the songs don’t feel as fleshed out as its predecessor that was years in the making. Despite that critique, this is still a beautiful and authoritative collection of power ballads meant to inspire and embolden.

Proof: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? / CHAMPION (Feat. Tom Morello) / LONELY / WILD

20. Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

Detroit singer/rapper Lizzo has been around a few years now, but her third album was definitely her break out to insurmountable success and admiration. Songs like “Coconut Oil”, “Good As Hell” and “Water Me” (added on the deluxe version of this album) would get some attention, especially after featured on television shows. But in 2019 the stars aligned for Lizzo’s take over. Despite the increase in notoriety (to now include the backlash from people tired of her) let’s not overshadow that this music and its message is worthy of the attention. Lizzo’s dramatic and vibrant mixture of R&B, Hip Hop, Soul, Jazz, Funk and Gospel wrapped in a fast paced train with the breaks cut is quite the exhilarating experience. This coupled with her unapologetic message of self love and respect created quite the energetic Molotov cocktail for her to throw in our ears and get our bodies up and moving. Those that may be tired of her, well either learn to ignore or deal with it, because Lizzo is not going anywhere anytime soon.

Proof: Cuz I Love You / Jerome / Tempo (Feat. Missy Elliott) / Water Me

19. Tory Lanez - Chixtape 5 [Mixtape] Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

Having now established himself in the industry with three albums. Tory decided to take a trip back to his beginnings with this album/mixtape drop. Early in his career, Tory had four Chixtape mixtapes that were all influenced by the late 90’s/early 2000’s R&B Tory was raised on. For the fifth entry, and first since he has become established, Tory took this to a whole new level not only directly sampling classics from that timeline but also featuring the artists themselves. The result is a blast of nostalgia and sexy-ass grooves that I dare your hips to stay still the whole hour. I haven’t heard a lot of Tory’s early catalog but since his debut album this is solidly my favorite project by the Canadian Singer. The nostalgia is a bit of a crutch but that doesn’t make this project any less successful or enjoyable. I am squarely in the wheelhouse of who this is made for so there is a bias here but this was probably my most fun first listening experience of the year.

Proof: The Trade (Feat. Jagged Edge & Jermaine Dupri) / Beauty in the Benz (Feat. Snoop Dogg) / Still Waiting (Feat. Trey Songz) / If You Gotta… (Feat. Fabolous)

18. Mark Ronson - Late Night Feelings Genre: R&B / Pop

2015’s Uptown Special with the mega-hit “Uptown Funk” was a whirlwind for Mark Ronson’s career as a solo artist. Already a prolific producer behind the boards of some of the most important albums over the last 15 years, Ronson’s solo career has been a bit under the radar until 2015. Which is why the about-face from glitz and abundance to a tender collection of songs about heartbreak is a bit of a surprise. But not a surprise I am mad about. The infectious, dancey funk we know from Ronson is still very much present on Late Night Feelings, but wrapped in a blanket of anguish only broken love can bring. Despite it’s more subtle and depressing themes, Ronson has stated this is the solo album he has spent the most time creating and that level of care is very apparent.

Proof: Late Night Feelings (Feat Lykke Li) / Find U Again (Feat. Camila Cabello) / Pieces Of Us (Feat. King Princess) / Why Hide (Feat. Diana Gordon)

17. Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell! Genre: Pop / Soul

My long time admiration for Lana’s artistry and craft are well documented on here. Happening on her homemade “Video Games” video on YouTube was one of the catalysts to creating this blog. A memory I will always cherish is seeing her in 2011 at the Troubadour in Hollywood when she only had about 6 songs on YouTube to sing. Now, six albums later her music still is some of the most moving and affecting out there for me. Norman Fucking Rockwell! Is probably Lana’s most consistent and assured record since Ultraviolence. Lyrics wise this may be her most crisp ever.

Proof: Venice Bitch / Fuck it I love you / The greatest / Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it

16. Seven Lions* - Ophelia Volume 1 Genre: Electronic / Trance / Dance

Prolific electronic producer Seven Lions has long been one of my favorite artists. 2018 and 2019 have been excitingly very busy years for the Californian DJ/Producer. Starting his own label Ophelia Records in 2018, 7L has used it as an opportunity to seek out great up and coming electronic artists like Crystal Skies, Jason Ross, MitiS, Trivecta, Wooli and others as well as collaborate with other greats in the game such as Above and Beyond, Dabin, SLANDER, NGHTMRE and Gryffin. Ophelia Volume 1 is a collection of many of the singles released by 7L over the last two years and is quite the gripping burst of excitement and emotions. This compilation album shows off what is 7L’s best musical attributes. His diversity in sound, effortlessly switching between many subgenres, including Trance, Future Bass, Dubstep, Drum and Bass, from song to song, sometimes making a switch within a single song. The other aspect is 7L’s deliberate and effective use of dead space to create a moment of floating before a bellowing drops knocks your ass back down to earth. His pockets of tranquility make these tracks more living and breathing forms of passion and sentiment than normally associated with the mechanical genre.

Proof: Start Again (Feat. Fiora) / Ocean (w/ Jason Foss Feat. Jonathan Mendelsohn) / First Time (w/ SLANDER & Dabin Feat. Dylan Matthew) / Dreamin’ (Feat. Fiora) // Bonus: See The End (w/ Above & Beyond Feat. Opposite The Other)

15. Gallant - Sweet Insomnia Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

The soulful and sultry vocals of Gallant return with another steamy alt-R&B soiree. The overall vibe is a bit more mellow than his thunderous 2016 debut Ology. The main driving force is still the forceful emotion driven vocals from the American singer. R&B has been a genre pulled into various directions over the last 8 or so years, sometimes for good, sometimes at it’s detriment. Gallant and his potent falsetto is a nostalgic artist in 2019 pointing to the late 90’s, early 2000’s neo-soul movement. Fans of artists like Musiq Soulchild, Maxwell, Raheem Devaughn and of course D’Angelo will get some warm feelings from Gallant’s seductive grooves.

Proof: Crimes / Hurt / Compromise (Feat. Sabrina Claudio) / Céline

14. G Flip - About Us Genre: Pop

Melbourne multi-instrumentalist and singer Georgia Flipo, or G-Flip, introduces herself with this tender and moving debut. About Us is sort of an autobiographical story about Georgia and her girlfriend over a five year span that includes a break up and eventually make up. Georgia’s vocals are both commanding and approachable. The song writing is effortlessly relatable and potent in the life of love. Georgia would write most of the instrument riffs and have others play it during recording but the most unsung hero is her command of the instrument she first learn and played herself; the drums. The emotional impact and intensity of these songs all get magnified in the later stages when Georgia grabs the sticks and begins going to town. About Us is both a subtle piece of pop yet also a cinematic and emotionally captivating one.

Proof: Lover / I Am Not Afraid / Morning / About You

13. Becky Hill - Get To Know Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Dance

After being a semi-finalist on The Voice UK, the potent and soulful vocals of UK singer Becky Hill has become a go-to feature in the European house world. Becky’s commanding voice is a perfect compliment to house production to not be overpowered and bring a level of vivacity and vitality to the composition. Get To Know is a compilation of those features and one-off singles from the last three years to get more people familiar with Becky as she takes more creative control of her solo career. I’m expecting much more to come from the singer in 2020; so keep an eye and both ears out.

Proof: I Could Get Used To This (w/ Weiss) / Piece of Me (w/ MK) / Sunrise in the East / False Alarm (w/ Matoma)

12. BANKS - III Genre: alt-R&B / Pop

On her third album, singer BANKS is showing off an impressive increase in prowess and courage in her music. Although, I still really enjoyed BANKS sophomore album The Altar, there were some growing pains visible in it. III on the other hand comes out much more competent, coherent and confident. The noticeable addition of Hudson Mohawke’s production and influence is one of the most noticeable additions. His powerful distorted synthed-out drums gives quite a thunderous backdrop for BANKS sultry vocals to sway back and forth through. The song writing has notably continued to get even better for someone that already had quite the skill at. I’ve followed BANKS since she only had a couple songs out on SoundCloud and the journey has been quite a rewarding one for us fans.

Proof: Gimme / Look What You’re Doing To Me (Feat. Francis & The Lights) / Propaganda / The Fall

11. Gryffin* - Gravity Genre: Electronic / Dance

Success has come rapidly for Gryffin, releasing his first original song only four years ago. Despite that short time, there is a level of sophistication to Gryffin’s blending of house and pop music that feels like the work of a veteran. It helps he has really filled up his phone contacts with some of today’s top Electronic producers and rising pop singers to collaborate with. Gryffin’s debut is quite a reflective and illuminating galaxy of deep emotions and expression. Every song on Gravity has identifiable passion and sentiments while enclosed in a glitzy exterior; feelings with strobe lights. It’s been over two years since the first song from this album “Nobody Compares to You” was released showing Gryffin has the ability to make us really feel emotions while also bust out dancing. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go have a good cry in the club.

Proof: All You Need To Know (w/ SLANDER Feat. Calle Lehmann) / Baggage (w/ Gorgon City & AlunaGeorge) / Hurt People (w/ Aloe Blacc) / Nothing Compares To You (Feat. Katie Pearlman)

10. Maggie Rogers - Heard It In A Past Life Genre: Pop

A chance encounter with Pharrell that went viral was what started Maggie’s career, but she took her time with this debut to make sure that one video wasn’t all that defines it. Heard It In A Past Life is a subtle flex of the new singer’s musical dexterity. On the surface the tracks all flow at a mellow cohesive pace. Maggie’s soft and sensual vocals are the first thing you appreciate when listening. When you give a little deeper of a dive you realize the strong themes Maggie is conveying as well as a sophisticated diversity in her sound that’s more than originally meets the ear.

Proof: Give A Little / The Knife / Alaska / Say It / On + Off // Bonus: Love You For A Long Time

9. Nick Murphy - Run Fast Sleep Naked Genre: Indie Pop / Electronic

On his second release (first full length album) since changing his name from Chet Faker to his real name Nick Murphy, the Australian artist has some new tricks up his sleeve. Run Fast Sleep Naked is a more expansive sound then his Chet Faker beginnings and we are all quite rewarded by it. The subtle Synth-Indie pop melding is still present. But there always was a form of restraint in his early work that Nick has seemed to let go more of here allowing his emotion to burst out at key moments a bit unfiltered and untethered.

Proof: Harry Takes Drugs On The Weekend / Sanity / Yeah I Care / Never No / Dangerous

8. Madeon - Good Faith Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

2019 has been an interesting year of growth for EDM. With artists like Big Wild, ILLENIUM, Goldroom, GRiZ, Flux Pavilion and others showing some added depth, discovery and diversity in their sounds. That is continued here with Madeon’s four years in the making follow up to his 2015 debut album Adventure. His first album was quite a glorious introduction but very steeped in the bold and at times lumbering mechanical nature of Electronic music, but with this follow up there is a dramatic divergence. Good Faith is quite a romp through R&B, Gospel and Funk influenced synth wonderlands meant to inspire souls and entice movement. The French producer created a lush world to wonder around, despite being Electronic music, that is devoid of any plasticity for organic and visual expression. The closing two minutes are completely devoid of vocals, yet still packs a powerful emotional punch, leaving you wanting to instantly hit replay.

Proof: Dreams Dreams Dreams / All My Friends / Nirvana / No Fear No More / Borealis

7. Tyler, The Creator - IGOR Genre: alt-R&B / Hip Hop

After a frustrating start to his career I saw some of the promise in Tyler, The Creator come to life on his 2015 third album Cherry Bomb. By 2017 Tyler had found his sweet spot with the marvelous Flower Boy. Being someone always eager to learn and grow on his craft, Tyler didn’t remain in that sweet spot, instead abruptly left it in his rearview mirror for his follow up in the daring IGOR. Long gone are the low-fi, abrasive hip hop vernacular of Bastard, Goblin and Wolf here. Instead, Tyler created a unique and colliding world of R&B, Hip Hop, Funk and Synth-Pop. Further showing his evolution Tyler tells a heartfelt story across the album of a man, Tyler, dating another man, who’s also dating his ex-girlfriend. When Tyler tells his feelings for his lover, which results in him starting to drift back to his ex-girlfriend, leading to heartbreak for Tyler. The character Igor represents the negative tendencies of Tyler, as his heart is broken and begins to take over throughout the album’s duration. Coming out the other side the album ends with sadness, but still with a level of hope that I’m sure anybody can relate to who’s had their heart broken.

Proof: IGOR’S THEME (Feat. Lil Uzi Vert) / EARFQUAKE (Feat. Playboy Carti & Charli Wilson) / I THINK (Feat. Solange & Ryan Betty) / A BOY IS A GUN* / WHAT’S GOOD (Feat. Slowthai)

6. SebastiAn - Thirst Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

8 years after his debut album, the French producer is ready to step out from the background again with this thrilling collection of bold electronic pop. Known best to the general for working with Frank Ocean on his Endless album (and being the voice on “Facebook Story” on Blonde), SebastiAn has also worked extensively with Daft Punk, Kavinsky, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Beastie Boys, Block Party and others over the years. Thirst is a wild ride in a dark dystopian pop landscape that has a tough exterior but a tender interior. The features from pop and R&B are expertly placed among the distorted and thunderous production. The industrial feel may seem a bit artificial at first, but there is an organic heartbeat under the mechanical exoskeleton worth exploring.

Proof: Doorman (Feat. Syd) / Better Now (Feat. Mayer Hawthorne) / Pleasant (Feat. Charlotte Gainsbourg) / Sober (Feat. Bakar) / Run for Me (Feat. Gallant)

5. Khalid - Free Spirit Genre: Pop / R&B / Soul

I gushed on both my last two year lists about Khalid with his debut album and last year’s EP; all that is still very much relevant in 2019. Khalid is one of today’s top young talents. His evocative voice can fit into so many different environments. Straight Pop, R&B, Hip Hop, Country, EDM, Rock, Khalid’s voice is quite the emotive chameleon. His own albums are a bit more straightforward pop and R&B that with every release keeps getting more polished and evolved with his songwriting. Already at 21 the singer has become a go-to for album features and movie soundtracks; I don’t expect this to change for quite some time.

Proof: Better / Talk / Right Back / Outta My Head (w/ John Mayer) / Twenty One

4. Big Wild - Superdream Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Dance

To many fans of the EDM scene Big Wild has been well known before his debut album dropped. The producer was one the first signees to ODESZA’s label after dropping multiple great remixes. His debut EP last year only increased his notoriety. What we didn’t know if he had a different plan for his sound that would be introduced to the world on this sneaky debut full length. Superdream still has plenty of his EDM beginnings throughout but interwoven in a much more complex package then we anticipated. Notes of 70’s/80’s pop to 90’s R&B make a surprisingly profound presence dancing through the intersecting synths and drums. Big Wild sings more than he ever has in a soft hushed tone that glides his bold production so smoothly. The Electronic genre is in the middle of quite a renaissance currently and yet more creative artists like Big Wild keep showing up and taking the sound to new directions we haven’t seen before.

Proof: Joypunks / 6’s to 9’s (Feat. Rationale) / No Words / Maker / She Makes Magic

3. ILLENIUM* - ASCEND Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

Denver DJ ILLENIUM found quite a sweet spot on his 2017 sophomore album, Awake, with his euphoric electronic music. Anybody who claims EDM is all plasticity without emotion that other music genres can evoke, I dare you to listen to Awake and not feel the raw human emotion bursting with every dramatic drop. However, Nicolas Miller was not complacent and has expanded his sound in 2019. Taking some inspiration no doubt from the late great Avicii, there’s plenty of experimenting with genres both externally and internally to the EDM landscape. With great ease, effort care and skill the tracks maneuver from Pop/Future Bass to House to Trance, to R&B to Country/Rock to Dubstep. The emotions continue to be the driver with tracks about love, heartbreak, feeling lost and even Miller’s opening up about his past issues with drug abuse. The Jon Bellion assisted “Good Things Fall Apart” and Chainsmokers partnered “Takeaway” are the tracks most people go in knowing, but powerful tracks like the lightning bolt opener “Hold On” to the Rock/Dubstep powerhouse of “Pray” to the R&B Ear drum slapper that's “Gorgeous” steal the listeners attention through this whirlwind of melodic feels.

Proof: Hold On (w/ Georgia Ku) / Good Things Fall Apart (w/ Jon Bellion) / Pray (Feat. Kameron Alexander) / Gorgeous (w/ Bipolar Sunshine & Blanke) / Lonely (w/ Chandler Leighton) // Bonus: Ekali & ILLENIUM - Hard To Say Goodbye (Feat. Chloe Angelides)

2. Nilüfer Yanya* - Miss Universe Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative / R&B

It could be too easy to take Nilüfer Yanya’s sensual music for granted, but those that pay close attention are very much rewarded. Her subtle and mellow melodies can slip into the background but by the time her infectious choruses hit you may find your shoulders swaying and feet tapping without thinking about it. The UK Born new artist has such an effortless feel to her genre melding sound of soul and indie pop. Her unique, raspy voice among the groovy, plucky guitar riffs has an ability to relay emotions while also keeping a veil of mystery. Miss Universe is probably 2019’s most consistent record, no song is out of place in this whole strong debut album.

Proof: In Your Head / Paralysed / Angels / Tears / Heavyweight Champion of the Year

1. Labrinth - Imagination & the Misfit Kid Genre: Pop / alt-R&B

Sometimes it takes some time to find your comfortably and inspiration. English singer Labrinth’s debut album was released over seven years ago. In the time since the powerful voice, proficient productions or potent pen of the singer would pop up here and there with one-off singles, song features ("Losers” with The Weeknd off Beauty Behind The Madness was one great one), production or writer credits. 2019 though was quite the change in pace. The marathon of a year started with forming the supergroup and dropping the debut album of LSD with Sia and Diplo. Labrinth then was the lead composer on the music score for one of the year's best new shows on HBO’s “Euphoria”. This all was cultivated with this magnificent and expressive sophomore effort. Imagination & the Misfit Kid is a layered project of the many influences Labrinth has picked up over his lifetime packaged together in something innovative yet also familiar. On the surface the music is pretty crowd pleasing pop but when dissected more there's rich notes of music genres colliding including R&B, Gospel, Blues, UK Hip Hop and Electronic ingredients. The production is its own cunning beast, at times it is muted and let’s the great voice of Labrinth take the reins, only to come thundering in to smack you in the temple. There’s an obvious cinematic theme carried through in the songs that is driven home with the song titles and short skits. Labrinth is tapping into your ears while making a visual art piece. One you’re meant to close your eyes and let the melodies and lyrics help you visualize. “Can’t tell me the world don’t mind, a miracle.”

Proof: Miracle / Dotted Line / All For Us (w/ Zendaya) / Something’s Got To Give / Where The Wild Things Are / Oblivion (Feat. Sia) // Bonus: Don’t Fence Me In

Others:

Good: Aaron Aye - F.E.A.R., Ada Lea - what we say in private, Africa Express - EGOL, AJ Tracey - AJ Tracey, AKON - Akonda, The Alchemist - Yacht Rock 2, Aldous Harding - Designer, Alex Cameron - Miami Memory, Algee Smith - atl, Alice Merton - Mint, Allen Stone - Building Balance, Allie X - Super Sunset (Analog), The Amazons - Future Dust, Andrew Combs - Ideal Man, Angel Olsen - All Mirrors, Angie Stone - Full Circle, Ann Marie - Pretty Psycho, Anna Wise - As If It Were Forever, Ardalan - Mr. Good, Ari Lennox - Shea Butter Baby, Ariana Grande - thank u, next, Armin van Buuren - Balance, A$AP Ferg - Floor Seats, Asiahn - Love Train 2, Audien - Escapism, AURORA - A Different Kind of Human, avery r. young - tubman., Avicii - TIM, A1 - Turbulence, Baby Rose - To Myself, Bad Bunny - X 100PRE, Barrie - Happy to Be Here, Bastille - Doom Days, Bat For Lashes - Lost Girls, Bazzi - Soul Searching, Beast Coast - Escape from New York, Beck - Hyperspace, Becky G. - MALA SANTA, Beirut - Gallipoli, Berhana - HAN, Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center, Betty Who - Betty, Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift [Music Inspired by the Motion Picture], Big K.R.I.T. - K.R.I.T. IZ HERE, Big K.R.I.T. - TDT, Big Thief - Two Hands, Big Thief - U.F.O.F., Black Belt Eagle Scout - At The Party With My Brown Friends, The Black Keys - “Let’s Rock”, Black Milk - DiVE, bLAck pARty - Endless Summer, blackbear - ANONYMOUS, Blaq Tuxedo - Blaq Tuxedo, Blaqk Audio - Only Things We Love, Blasterjaxx - Perspective, Bleached - Don’t You Think You’ve Had Enough?, Blood Orange - Angel’s Pulse [Mixtape], Blu & Oh No - A Long Red Hot Los Angeles Summer Night, Boogie - Everything’s for Sale, Boy Harsher - Careful, Boy Harsher - Country Girl Uncut, Boy Scouts - Free Company, Brittany Howard - Jaime, BROCKHAMPTON - GINGER, Broods - Don’t Feed The Pop Monster, Brother Ali - Secrets & Escape, Bun B & Statik Selektah - TrillStatik [Mixtape], Burna Boy - African Giant, Busy Signal - Parts of the Puzzle, Caamp - By and By, Cage The Elephant - Social Cues, Camila Cabello - Romance, Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated, Caroline Polacheck - PANG, Casey Veggies - Organic, Casey Veggies & Rockie Fresh - Fresh Veggies [Mixtape], Cashmere Cat - PRINCESS CATGIRL, Cassius - Dreems, Catching Flies - Silver Linings, Cehryl - Slow Motion, The Chainsmokers - World War Joy, Charly Bliss - Young Enough, Chase & Status - RTRN II JUNGLE, Chelsea Wolfe - Birth of Violence, The Chemical Brothers - No Geography, Cherry Glazer - Stuffed & Ready, Childish Major - Dirt Road Diamond, Chinatown Slalom - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, Choosey & Exile - Black Beans, Chris Brown - Indigo, Chris Lorenzo - Late Checkout, Chris Staples - Holy Moly, Chromatics - Closer To Grey, Ciara - Beauty Marks, Cigarettes After Sex - Cry, City and Colour - A Pill for Loneliness, Citizen Cope - Heroin and Helicopters, Clairmont The Second - The Second’s Do You Drive?, Clairo - Immunity, clipping. - There Existed an Addiction to Blood, Cold War Kids - New Age Norms 1, Coldplay - Everyday Life, Collie Buddz - Hybrid, Common - Let Love, Cross Record - Cross Record, Crumb - Jinx, Crystal Fighters - Gaia & Friends, Cuco - Para Mi, Curren$y & Statik Selektah - Gran Turismo, CZARFACE & Ghostface Killa - Czarface Meets Ghostface, DaBaby - KIRK, Damar Jackson - U2, Dame D.O.L.L.A. - Big D.O.L.L.A., Danny Brown - uknowhatimsaying¿, Dave East - Survival, David B - BLEU, Dawn Richard - New Breed, Deadmau5 - here’s the drop, Deadmau5 - Polar (Music from the Netflix Film), Deaton Chris Anthony - BO Y, Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?, Delta Heavy - Only In My Dreams, Dermot Kennedy* - Dermot Kennedy, Devin Morrison - Bussin’, DIIV - Deceiver, Dillon Francis - Magic Is Real [Mixtape], Dizzy Fae - NO GMO [Mixtape], DJ Khaled - Father of Asahd, DJ Shadow - Our Pathetic Age, DJ Snake - Carte Blanche, Doja Cat - Hot Pink, Dope Lemon - Smooth Big Cat, Dounia - THE SCANDAL, Drake - Care Package, Drax Project - Drax Project, Dreamville & J. Cole - Return of the Dreamers III, Dreezy - Big Dreez, DROELOE* - A Promise Is Made, The Drums - Brutalism, DUCKWRTH - THE FALLING MAN, Earl Sweatshirt - FEET OF CLAY, EARTHGANG - Mirrorland, Ed Sheeran - No. 6 Collaborations Project, Electric Guest - KIN, Electric Youth - Memory Emotion, ELHAE - Trouble In Paradise, Elle Varner - Ellevation, Emeli Sandé - REAL LIFE, Emmavie - Honeymoon, Emily Wells - The World Is Too ___ For You, Eric Bellinger - Cuffing Season 3, Eric Bellinger - Saved by the Bellinger [Mixtape], Eric Bellinger - The Rebirth 2, E-40 - Practice Makes Paper, Fabolous - Summertime Shoot 3: Coldest Summer Ever [Mixtape], The Faint - Egowerk, Fantasia - Sketchbook, FEELS - Post Earth, FIDLAR - Almost Free, Fitz & The Tantrums - All The Feels, FKA twigs - MAGDALENE, The Flaming Lips - The King’s Mouth: Music and Songs, Flume - Hi This Is Flume [Mixtape], Flying Lotus - Flamagra, Frances Cone - Late Riser, Frankie Cosmos - Close It Quietly, Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Bandana, FRENSHIP* - Vacation, Freya Ridings - Freya Ridings, Friendly Fires - Inflorescent, Froth - Duress, The Game - Born 2 Rap, Gang Starr - One of the Best Yet, GASHI - GASHI, Gary Clark Jr. - This Land, Gena Rose Bruce - Can’t Make You Love Me, Gesaffelstein - Hyperion, The Get Up Kids - Problems, Giggs - BIG BAD…, girlpool - What Chaos Is Imaginary, The Glorious Sons - A War on Everything, gnash - we, Goo Goo Dolls - Miracle Pill, grandson - a modern tragedy vol. 3, GRiZ - Ride Waves, GTA - La Nueva Clásica (Remixes), Gus Dapperton - Where Polly People Go to Read, HÆLOS - Any Random Kindness, half●alive - Now, Not Yet, , Hatchie - Keepsake, Hayden James - Between Us, Hayden James - Between Us (Remixes), The Head and the Heart - Living Mirage, Headie One - Music x Road [Mixtape], Helado Negro - This Is How You Smile, Hermitude - Pollyanarchy, Hibou - Haive, Higher Brothers - Five Stars, Hobo Johnson - The Fall of Hobo Johnson, Holly Herndon - PROTO, Hoodie Allen - Whatever USA, Hot Chip - A Bath Full of Ecstasy, Ida Mae - Chasing Light, IDER - Emotional Education, IDK - Is He Real?, Iggy Azalea - In My Defense, India.Arie - Worthy, Ingrid Michaelson - Stranger Songs, Injury Reserve - Injury Reserve, Intellexual - Intellexual, Isaac Dunbar - balloons don’t float here, Isabella - 12 Angels, J Balvin & Bad Bunny - OASIS, Jack & Jack - A Good Friend Is Nice, JackLNDN - Thoughts, Jacob Latimore - Connection2, Jacquees - King of R&B, Jacques Greene - Dawn Chorus, Jade Bird - Jade Bird, Jai Wolf - The Cure To Loneliness, Jamie Cullum - Taller, James Blunt - Once Upon A Mind, Jamila Woods - LEGACY! LEGACY!, The Japanese House - Good At Falling, Jax Jones - Snacks, Jay Som - Anak Ko, Jayda G - Significant Changes, Jaden - ERYS, JAY1 - One Wave, Jenny Hval - The Practice of Love, Jenny Lewis - On The Line, J-E-T-S - Zoospa, Jidenna - 85 to Africa, Joell Ortiz - Monday, Johnny Gill - Game Changer II, JOHNNYSWIM - Moonlight, JOHKOY - 404, Jonas Brothers - Happiness Begins, Jordan Rakei - Origin, Joseph - Good Luck, Kid, Josephine Wiggs - We Fall, JPEGMAFIA - All My Heroes Are Cornballs, The Juan MacLean - The Brighter Light, Judah & The Lion - Pep Talks, Juice WRLD - Death Race for Love, Julian - Sydney, Juls - Colour, KAINA - Next to the Sun, Kanye West - JESUS IS KING, Karnaval Blues - You Come With the Rain, Kash Doll - Stacked, Kaskade - Redux 003, KÁRYYN - The Quanta Series, Kayzo - Unleashed, Keane - Cause and Effect, Kelsey Lu - Blood, Kemba - Gilda, Kembe X - I Was Depressed Until I Made This, Kerli - Shadow Works, Kevin Gates - I’m Him, Kevin George - My Darlings a Demon, Kevin Morby - Oh My God, K.Flay - Solutions, Kindness* - Something Like a War, King Princess - Cheap Queen, Kishi Bashi - Omoiyari, Ladytron - Ladytron, Lafawndah - Ancestor Boy, Larry June - Out the Trunk [Mixtape], The Lemonheads - Varshons 2, Lexie Liu - 2030, Liam Gallagher - Why Me? Why Not, LICK - Dark Vibe Order, Lil Skies - Shelby, Lissie - When I’m Alone: The Piano Retrospective, Little Brother - May The Lord Watch, Local Natives - Violet Street, Logic - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Lolo Zouaï - High Highs to Low Lows, Lost Frequencies - Alive and Feeling Fine, Louis Futon - Way Back When, Loyle Carner - Not Waving, But Drowning, LSD - Labrinth, Sia & Diplo Presents… LSD, Lucky Daye - Painted, Lucy Rose - No Words Left, Luh Kel - Mixed Emotions, The Lumineers - III, LV - Xcited, Lyfe Jennings - 777, Mac Ayers - Juicebox, Mac DeMarco - Here Comes the Cowboy, Mahalia - Love and Compromise, Malibu Ken (Aesop Rock & TOBACCO) - Malibu Ken, Manatee Commune* - PDA, Mansionair - Shadowboxer, Marc E. Bassy - PMD, Maren Morris - GIRL, Maribou State - Kingdoms in Color Remixed, Marika Hackman - Any Human Friend, MARINA - LOVE + FEAR, MarMar Oso - Oso Different, Marshmello - Joytime III, Matt Maeson - Bank on the Funeral, MED & Guilty Simpson - Child of the Jungle, Meg Mac - Hope, Megan Thee Stallion - Fever, Melii - phAses, Men I Trust - Oncle Jazz, Mereba - The Jungle Is The Only Way Out, Mermaidens - Look Me in the Eye, Michael Kiwanuka - KIWANUKA, MIKA - My Name Is Michael Holbrook, MIKE - Tears of Joy, Mike Posner - Keep Going [Mixtape], Mike Posner - A Real Good Kid, Milky Chance - Mind the Moon, Mr. Carmack - Demolish [Mixtape], Mr. Carmack - Viista, Mr Hudson - WHEN THE MACHINE STOP, Mndsgn - Snaxx, Moksi - The Return of House Music, Montell Jordan - Masterpiece, Moon Boots - Bimini Road, Moon Duo - Stars Are the Light, Moonchild - Little Ghost, Murs & 9th Wonder - Brighter Daze, Murs, 9th Wonder & The Soul Collective - The Iliad is Dead and the Odyssey is Over, Mustard - Perfect Ten, Nao Yoshioka - Undeniable, Nas - The Lost Tapes 2, Nathan Bajar - playroom, The National - I Am Easy to Find, Necking - Cut Your Teeth, The New Pornographers - In the Morse Code of Brake Lights, NF - The Search, Nick Catchdubs - Ufo, Nicole Bus - Kairos, Nina Nesbitt - The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change, Noah Kahan - Busyhead, Norah Jones - Begin Again, Obie Trice - The Fifth, Octavian - Endorphins, Of Monsters and Men - FEVER DREAM, Offset - Father of Four, Oliver Dion - Exposed, Olivia O’Brien - Was It Even Real?, Panda Bear - Buoys, Patoranking - Wilmer, Pete Tong & HERO - Chilled Classics, Pete Yorn - Caretakers, Petit Biscuit* - We Were Young (The Playlist), P!nk - Hurts 2B Human, Pixies - Beneath the Eyrie, PJ Morton - PAUL, Plaid - Polymer, P-LO - SHINE, PnB Rock - TrapStar Turnt PopStar, Pond - Tasmania, Post Malone - Hollywood’s Bleeding, Priests - The Seduction of Kansas, Prince - Originals, PUP - Morbid Stuff, Quelled Chris - Guns, R.LUM.R. - Surfacing, Ra Ra Riot - Superbloom, The Raconteurs - Help Us Stranger, Raphael Saadiq - Jimmy Lee, Ras Kass - Soul on Ice 2, Rat Boy - International Unknown, Raveena - Lucid, Reese LaFlare - Final Fantasy, The Regrettes - How Do You Love?, Reptaliens - VALIS, Rex Orange County - Pony, Rich Brian - The Sailor, Rich The Kid - The World Is Yours 2, Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats - Anger Management, Rhi - The Pale Queen, Rhye - Spirit, Rockie Fresh - Destination, Rudimental - Test Our Differences, RÜFÜS DU SOL - Solace Remixes, RY X - Unfurl, Sabrina Carpenter - Singular Act II, SAFE - STAY, Said The Whale - Cascadia, SAINt JHN - Ghetto Lenny’s Love Songs, St. Lucia - Remixed, Sammie - Everlasting, Sampa The Great - The Return, San Fermin - The Cormorant I, (Sandy) Alex G - House of Sugar, Santana - Africa Speaks, Santi - Mandy & The Jungle, Sara Bareilles - Amidst the Chaos, SASAMI - SASAMI, ScHoolboy Q - CrasH Talk, Seasons - American Authors, Set It Off - Midnight, Set Mo - Surrender, Shafiq Husayn - The Loop, Shari Marie - Reflection LP, Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow, Sheer Mag - A Distant Call, Shlohmo - The End, Shy Girls - Bird on the Wing, Silversun Pickups - Widow’s Weeds, Sinead Harnett - Lessons in Love, SiR - Chasing Summer, sir Was - Holding On To A Dream, Skepta - Ignorance Is Bliss, The Script - Sunset & Full Moons, Sleater-Kinney - The Center Won’t Hold, Sleeping With Sirens - How It Feels to Be Lost, slowthai - Nothing Great About Britain, Slum Village - The Source, Smif-N-Wessun - The All, Snail Mail - Habit, Snake City - Hurts, SNBRN - Solé, Snoh Aalgra - Ugh, those feels again, Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Thank Me, Snow Patrol - Reworked, SOAK - Grim Town, SOB X RBE & Hit-Boy - Family Not a Group, Solange - When I Get Home, Somos - Prison On A Hill, SonReal - The Aaron LP, StayLoose - The City, Stef Chura - Midnight, Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI, Stirgull Simpson - SOUND & FURY, Styles P - S.P. The Goat: Ghost of All Time, Sudan Archives - Athena, Sui Zhen - Losing Linda, Summer Walker - Over It, SYML - SYML, The Tallest Man On Earth - I Love You, Talos - Far Out Dust, Tank - ELEVATION, Tank and the Bangas - Green Balloon, Tayla Parx - We Need To Talk, Taylor Swift - Lover, Tech N9ne - N9na, Tegan and Sara - Hey, I’m Just Like You, TENDER - Fear of Falling Asleep, Terri Lyne Carrington & Social Science - Waiting Game, Terror Jr - Unfortunately, Terror Jr, Tiësto - Together, Tinashe - Songs For You, Tink - Voicemails, The-Dream - Menage a Trois: Sextape Vol. 1,2&3, Thees Handz (The Grouch & Murs) - Thees Handz, Thom Yorke - ANIMA, T-Pain - 1UP, TOBi - STILL, Tom Walker - What A Time To Be Alive, Tora - Can’t Buy the Mood, Toro y Moi - Outer Peace, Tory Lanez - International Fargo [Mixtape], Tourist - Wild, Tove Lo - Sunshine Kitty, Trae tha Truth - Exhale, Travis Thompson - Reckless Endangerment, Trevor Jackson - Rough Draft 2, Trina - The One, Tritonal - U & Me, Tropical Fuck Storm - Braindrops, Tuxedo - Tuxedo III, Two Door Cinema Club - False Alarm, Tycho - Weather, Tyla Yaweh - Heart Full of Rage, Vagabon - Vagabon, Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Onward to Zion, Various Artists - DEATH STRANDING: Timefall (Original Music from the World of Death Stranding), Various Artists - For The Throne (Music Inspired by the HBO Series Game of Thrones), Various Artists - Music Inspired by the Film Roma, Various Artists - 13 Reasons Why (Season 3) [Music Inspired by the Netflix Series], Velvet Negroni - NEON BROWN, Wale - Wow... That’s Crazy, Walk Off The Earth - HERE WE GO!, Wallows - Nothing Happens, Walshy Fire - Walshy Fire Presents: ABENG, Wand - Laughing Matter, Weezer - Weezer (The Teal Album), Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising, Wilco - Ode to Joy, Wild Belle - Everybody One of a Kind, William Black* - Pages, Willow - Willow, Whitney - Forever Turned Around, Wretch 32 - Upon Reflection, X Ambassadors - ORION, Xavier Omär & Sango - Moments Spent Loving You, YACHT - Chain Tipping, YBN Cordae - The Lost Boy, Yeasayer - Erotic Reruns, Yeek - IDK WHERE, YG - 4REAL 4REAL, Yhung T.O. - On My Momma 2, Yuna - Rouge, Zilo - Gorgeous, Zo! - FourFront, 2 Chainz - Rap or Go to the League, 93PUNX - 93PUNX, !!! - Wallop

Meh: A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Hoodie SZN, Above & Beyond - Flow State, The Avett Brothers - Closer Than Together, Belle & Sebatian - Days of the Bangold, Berner - El Chivo, Birdman & Juvenile - Just Another Gangsta, Blank Mass - Animated Violence Mild, Calboy - Wildboy, Casanova - Behind These Scars, Conway The Machine - Look What I Became, Cousin Stizz - Trying to Find My Next Thrill, DREAMERS - LAUNCH FLY LAND, DJ Muggs & Mach - Hommy: Tuez-Les Tous, Future - Future Hndrexx Presents: The WZRD, G&D - Black Love & War, Ghostface Killah - Ghostface Killahs, Gucci Mane - Delusions of Grandeur, HTRK - Venus in Leo, Jezzy - TM104: The Legend of the Snowman, Kenny Garrett - Hoax, Lighthouse Family - Blue Sky in Your Head, Lil Peep - EVERYBODY’S EVERYTHING, Lillie Mae - Other Girls, Logic - Supermarket, Lower Dens - The Competition, Machine Gun Kelly - Hotel Diablo, Night Lovell - GOODNIGHT LOVELL, Pi’erre Bourne & Cardo Got Wings - Pi’erre & Cardo’s WIld Adventure [Mixtape], Quality Control - Control The Streets Volume 2, Rick Ross - Port of Miami 2, Rod Wave - PTSD, Shy Glizzy - Covered N Blood, Spellling - Mazy Fly, Tee Grizzley - Scriptures, Twin Peaks - Lookout Low, Tyga - Legendary, Wifisfuneral - Ethernet 2, Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - 2009, 03 Greedo - Still Summer in the Projects

Naw: Black midi - Schlagenheim, KEY! - SO EMOTIONAL, Microwave - Death is a Warm Blanket, Nef The Pharaoh - Mushrooms & Coloring Books, Scarlxrd - INFINITY, Ugly God - Bumps & Bruises, Weezer - Weezer (The Black Album), Westside Gunn - Flygod is an Awesome God, Yung Gravy - Sensational, Zheani - The Line Censored

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trinuviel · 6 years

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Winterfell’s Daughter. On Sansa Stark (part 14)

I’ve previously written a series of essays that analyse Sansa Stark’s narrative arc in Game of Thrones - during season 1 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6) and during season 2 (Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10) and now during season 3 (Part 11, Part 12, Part 13).

One of the important themes in Sansa Stark’s narrative arc in season 3 is her political importance. As Robb Stark’s heir apparent she is the Key to the North, which is stated by political players such as Lord Varys and Tywin Lannister. That is also why she is courted by both Patyr Baelish and the Tyrells. They all want to secure her claim in the case of Robb’s premature death. However, her arc is also about hope - the hope of escape, safety and family - and the subsequent crushing of that fragile hope.

In my previous post I analysed how Sansa was charmed and courted by Margaery and Loras Tyrell - with Margaery not only offering a marriage to Loras but also the promise of sisterhood as well as a new home, filled with all the courtly sophistication that a nobly born girl could wish for. Loras’ awkward courtship in the beautiful gardens of the Red Keep re-awakened all of Sansa’s girlish dreams that she had gleaned from the romantic songs that she loved so much in the first season.

A POLITE REFUSAL

The Tyrells are not the only ones that offer Sansa an escape from her abuse. In the very first episode, Petyr Baelish offers to sneak her out of King’s Landing. This is a plan that is much more dangerous than the Tyrell offer and Sansa is vary of Baelish in a way that she isn’t with Margaery - so it isn’t surprising that Sansa chooses the less dangerous option, an option that promises the protection of a powerful noble House.

In episode 5, Petyr Baelish once again approaches Sansa while she’s alone, watching a lonely ship at anchor in Blackwater Bay. A bit of seemingly inconsequential small talk follows. I say seemingly because this little exchange between Sansa and Baelish is, in fact, fraught with subtext - and the subtext is informed by our knowledge of the fact that Baelish already knows about the secret betrothal between Sansa and Loras Tyrell.

Baelish: She may not be the grandest ship in the world… or the fastest… but she is mine. I’ve always wanted a ship. Now I want a dozen. Strange, isn’t it?

Sansa: What is?

Baelish: It doesn’t matter what we want, once we get it, then we want something else.

Sansa: Many ladies wear it this way.

The subtext to this exchange revolves around Baelish indirectly implying that he offered Sansa something she wanted - seeing her family again, escaping King’s Landing - and now she wants something else, something more. The way he then changes the subject to Sansa wearing her hair in a style favoured by Margaery Tyrell is also him hinting that Sansa is now under the influence of Margaery in more ways than just a sense of fashion. Of course, Sansa is unaware of him knowing her secret - so the subtext of his words are entirely for the benefit of the audience. Then, Baelish changes the subject of conversation yet again.

Baelish: I have good news. I’ll be leaving the city soon.

Sansa: You still want me to come with you?

Baelish: It is not a question of what I want. It is what you want. You want to go home, do you?

Sansa looks down.

Sansa: Of course. More than anything.

She looks down again.

Sansa: But maybe it is better to wait. I’ve been thinking how dangerous it would be. Not just for me, but for you. You’ve been so kind. I’d feel terrible if anything happened to you.

Baelish: I can’t tell you how touched I am by your concern for my welfare. I hope you know that I’m your friend, Sansa. Your true friend.

Sansa: I do, Lord Baelish.

Baelish: Petyr.

He’s trying to force familiarity here, a sense of friendship - but unlike Margaery he isn’t very good at charming people. He’s unctuous and oily, quite different from the lighthearted camaraderie that Margaery so effortlessly projects in her interactions with Sansa. He understands neither real love nor true friendship because he’s always looking to exploit people for his own benefit. Not to mention the fact that he’s a middle-aged predator, obsessed with Sansa’s mother whom Sansa greatly resembles.

Sansa: Petyr.

Baelish: If you wish to stay, then of course you will stay.

He takes her hand and kisses it.

Baelish: We’ll talk again when I return.

As he leaves, Sansa exhales audibly. She was extremely nervous about this conversation because she was lying to a man who had previously told her that she’s a poor liar. She smiles slightly and it is clear that she thinks she pulled it off. However, the audience already knows that Baelish is aware of the truth. He knows she’s lying to him and that her concern for him is false. I wonder if this has made him angry. It is clear that his decision to tell the Lannisters about the Tyrell-Stark betrothal is a move he makes to prevent Sansa from slipping through his fingers but I do wonder if there’s also an element of him wanting to punish her for rejecting his offer. However, this is pure speculation on my part.

HOPE CRUSHED

In my previous post, I wrote how the secret betrothal between Sansa and Loras Tyrell re-awakened all her girlish dreams of chivalric romance. The prospect of marrying a dashing knight and escaping her prison in order to live in Highgarden with its sophisticated culture has Sansa all atwitter, which is highlighted in a scene between Sansa and Shae where Sansa is happily discussing both fashion and her future wedding to Loras.

There are two things that are worth noticing in this scene:

Sansa still tells Shae everything! Her planned betrothal to Loras is secret but Sansa trusts Shae implicitly.

Sansa is so hopeful in this scene, which is rather heartbreaking since the audience already knows that her hopes are about to be crushed.

Sansa asks Shae whether the Tyrells will let her invite her family to her wedding to Loras. I’ve seen a lot of fans say that this line proves that Sansa is still hopelessly naive and stupid. I beg to differ. She is hopeful. I don’t find hopefulness stupid. Is her hopefulness naïve? Perhaps – but how is she to know that the secret betrothal isn’t very secret anymore? Are the writers telling the audience that Sansa is stupid and naïve? Possibly – but considering the scene that immediately follows this exchange between Sansa and Shae, I tend to think that this particular line of Sansa’s (“Will they let me invite my family?”) is more about lending a poignancy to her hopefulness right before those hopes are unequivocally crushed. It is a more generous interpretation than the one that dominates the fandom but I’d argue that there is room for both – it all comes down to whether you think the ability to hope for something better, even amidst abuse and loss, is stupid or not.

The conversation between Sansa and Shae is interrupted by a maid, announcing the presence of Tyrion Lannister who is there to inform Sansa that they are to marry.

Tyrion: Well… This is awkward.

The scene ends before he actually tells Sansa that they are to marry but the fact that Tyrion is about to break the news to Sansa in front of his lover shifts the focus of the narrative from Sansa onto Tyrion and Shae. In fact, all of Tyrion’s lines following his initial statement refers indirectly to his relationship with Shae! So this scene is really about him and not about Sansa at all, even though it is her hopes that are about to be crushed. This scene is also is an invention of the show since in the books Tyrion never bothers to actually inform Sansa of their upcoming wedding. In the books, Sansa is only informed of her wedding to Tyrion on the very day it is to take place and Cersei literally threatens to have her forcibly dragged to the altar.

One of the things I really dislike about the show is the way that it expunges Tyrion’s worst qualities and makes him act better than his character is originally written. This creative decision really impacts Sansa’s arc in a rather negative way since it frames Tyrion’s “suffering” as being equal to Sansa’s and it removes the focus on how utterly helpless and friendless Sansa is as a hostage at the Lannister court. Indeed, the way the show depicts their wedding (and marriage) repeatedly shifts the focus away from the victimization of Sansa in favour of Tyrion’s man-pain – and it erases the fact that this marriage serves to rob Sansa of everything while it only serves to benefit Tyrion.

He may not being jumping with joy at the prospect of this marriage but let us not forget that it is designed to rob Sansa of her inheritance while Tyrion stands to benefit politically from her disenfranchisement.

We don’t get to see Tyrion actually telling Sansa that they will be wed but we do get to see her heartbroken reaction in the montage that accompanies Baelish’s infamous “Chaos is a Ladder” monologue at the very end of the episode. Sansa appears in the middle of his monologue after we’ve seen what happens to the people that try to climb the ladder of chaos but fails and are broken by the fall with an shot where Joffrey fiddles with his crossbow while Ros’ dead body is tied to his bedpost. Then the camera cuts to a shot of Sansa and Shae, their backs to the camera, with Blackwater Bay and Baelish’s ship in the background.

Baelish (VO): …and some are given the chance to climb…

The camera slowly zooms in on the ship that represents Sansa’s lost chance of escape.

Baelish (VO): …but they refuse.

Cut to a shot of a tearful and heartbroken Sansa.

Baelish (VO): …they cling to the realm or the Gods or love.

Cut to a close-up on the ship at anchor in the bay.

Baelish (VO): Illusions. Only the ladder is real.

Close-up of Sansa’s face as she desperately tries to hold back her tears.

Baelish (VO): The climb is all there is.

On the surface it looks like the narrative judges Sansa negatively for refusing to climb the Ladder of Chaos, that she’s still naively clinging to her illusions. It is easy to see why many come to that conclusion due to how the shots of Sansa are placed in the montage that is combined with Baelish’s monologue. However, we have to ask ourselves this: does the show itself endorse Baelish’s cynical ideology of chaos as a means of self-promotion? In order to find the answer to this question we have to look at how the entire sequence is framed, both the monologue and the images that accompanies it.

Baelish delivers his monologue after a conversation with Varys where they discuss their actions. Varys justifies his actions by saying that they are for the good of the realm. Baelish scoffs at this remark and says that the realm is simply a story that is a lie. Baelish doesn’t believe in the realm, in any kind of community that serves the many rather than the ambition of the individual. Varys counters this statement by saying that without the “illusion” of the realm, there is only chaos: “a gaping pit waiting to swallow us all”. This is where Baelish states that chaos is a ladder - a ladder for the ambitious individual to climb to further his own advancement.

Neither should we forget that Baelish is consistently presented as a villain who is willing to let the world burn in order to get what he wants - there’s a reason why Varys calls him the King of Ashes! Varys, on the other hand, is presented as Baelish’s opponent, as someone who puts the good of the many before his own desires - and if he can help someone at the same time as achieving his overall goal, so much the better (like preventing Baelish from getting his hands on Sansa and at the same time getting her away from Joffrey’s abuse).

It is also worth noting that while we see Sansa when Baelish talks about the people who refuse the climb, she is not the only person that this segment of the monologue targets. It also targets Varys when he talks about people refusing to climb because they cling to ideas of love, the gods or the Realm!

Love, Religion, the Realm. These are things that Baelish himself considers to be meaningless illusions. Baelish is a cynic who scorns people who believe in things that are larger than themselves, people who don’t put their selfish desires first – and while it seems that people like that are losing the game at this stage in the narrative, he is actually the one who is wrong. Despite its many weaknesses, season 7 is actually where the narrative affirms that protecting the realm is more important than the people who selfishly try to come out on top. During season 7, Jon Snow, one of the undisputed heroes of the story, reaffirms that his role is to be “the shield that guard the realms of men” – and the narrative leaves no one in doubt that his mission is far more important and more morally sound that the objectives of the people who bring about destruction in their desire to rule the fates of other people.

So, no. The narrative doesn’t punish Sansa for not wanting to climb Baelish’s ladder of chaos – Baelish is the one punishing her for rejecting him! But you have to look beneath the surface of the montage and look at the way it is framed within the larger story.

MAKE THE BEST OF THE SITUATION?

While we do not witness Tyrion telling Sansa of their upcoming nuptials, nor her immediate reaction, we do get to see her heartbroken state later on in a scene between her and Margaery in episode 7. The scene begins with a wide shot of Sansa and Margaery, sitting in a patio in the gardens of the Red Keep. Margery comforts a tearful Sansa who is mourning her lost hopes of a brighter future in Highgarden.

Sansa: Growing up in Winterfell I always wanted to escape, to come to the capital. See the southern knights and their painted armour. All the candles in burning in all the windows.

The camera cuts to a close-up of Sansa’s face. She starts to cry.

This is just such a heartbreaking utterance. Sansa has never been stupid. She was a sheltered child, loved and protected by her family. Her innocence wasn’t stupid and neither were her dreams. They were the symptoms of a child who had been loved and protected. It is incredibly sad to see her denounce her hope of a better future in Highgarden as stupid.

Hope is never stupid! Hope is what drives people to work to create a better world, even in the face of overwhelming hardship. To give up on hope is to give in to despair.

Sansa wasn’t stupid or wrong to hope for something better – to despair is to give up on life and Sansa is stronger than she thinks, stronger than many people among the audience think. Her hopes were crushed by callous people who seek to rob her of her inheritance, her freedom and her autonomy. Sansa’s crushed hopes are not a symptom of any stupidity on her part but an indictment of the callous ambitions of men like Petyr Baelish and Tywin Lannister. The very fact that Sansa calls herself stupid is also an effect of the emotional abuse that both Cersei and Joffrey have heaped upon her. Both of them repeated call her stupid and foolish. Her self-esteem has been destroyed. Thus, it is no wonder that Sansa has internalized this notion, sad as it is.

Margaery: I remember the first time I saw you in the throne room. I’d never seen anyone who looked so unhappy.

Sansa wipes away her tears. Margaery takes her by the arm as they stroll into the lush gardens of the Red Keep.

Margaery: I want very much for you to be happy, Sansa, and so does my grandmother.

I think that Margaery is honest here – at least about her own feelings – and Natalie Dormer’s acting choices certainly supports this interpretation. Her expression is genuinely sympathetic when she’s witnessing Sansa’s unhappy tears.

This scene is very much about Margaery extending her hand in a genuine spirit of friendship. This is yet another marked change from the books where Margaery drops Sansa like a hot potato after the Tyrell betrothal falls through. It is a change that I actually like because one of GRRM’s most glaring blind-spots is the complete lack of any positive relationships between women in his story.

During their stroll, Margaery stops to pluck a rose, the heraldic symbol of House Tyrell.

Margaery: You would have been happy in Highgarden… but women in our position must make the best of our circumstances.

Not only is Margaery older and more worldly than Sansa but I think it is safe to assume that she was never raised to be quite as sheltered as Sansa has been. She’s an ambitious pragmatist and she’s giving Sansa what she thinks is the best advice that she can offer.

Sansa: How do I make the best of my circumstances? I have to marry him.

The camera cuts to a medium close-up of Margaery and Sansa, facing each other. Margery hands Sansa the rose, which is a nice call back to the tourney scene in season 1 where her brother Loras handed Sansa a red rose. However, unlike Loras, Margaery offers Sansa her rose as an act that symbolizes a genuine offer of friendship.

Margaery proceeds to ask Sansa whether Tyrion has mistreated her? Whether he has been kind to her? Sansa says that he has tried to be kind.

Margaery: You don’t want him though.

Sansa: He’s a Lannister.

This is the crux of the matter! Tyrion’s family holds her prisoner, they are responsible for the death of her father and some of them abuse her emotionally as well as physically for their own enjoyment. She is being forced to marry an enemy of her family and this marriage will keep her a hostage forever.

In this context it doesn’t really matter whether Tyrion is kind or not – this marriage will strip her of her family name and it effectively ends her hope of ever returning to the loving embrace of her family.

Furthermore, the very reason for this marriage rests upon Tywin Lannister’s desire to appropriate her family home since she is Robb Stark’s heir apparent. It is also one part of a two-pronged attack on her family since Tywin is plotting to kill Sansa’s brother so that he can install Tyrion as Lord of Winterfell by way of this marriage. Tywin’s nefarious plot comes to a bloody fruition just a few episodes later when Sansa’s brother and mother are cruelly slain by the Freys.

Margaery continues to dispense advice as she and Sansa stroll in the gardens.

Margaery: My son will be king. Sons learn from their mothers. I plan to teach mine a great deal.

While Margaery is ambitious, she doesn’t plan to wield power directly. We have already seen that Margaery excels when it comes to the use of soft power – her charitable endeavours have helped win her the love of the people in King’s Landing and so far she’s successfully manipulated Joffrey. She plans to use the same approach in her marriage, not only by subtly influencing people in power but also by shaping any future children she’d produce so that it’ll be her legacy rather than Joffrey’s that would shape the realm in the future. Interestingly, this scene also functions as a companion piece to Cersei’s advice to Sansa about loving her children despite not loving her husband from season 2.

Margaery then points out that if Sansa has a son by Tyrion, he might be Lord of Casterly Rock and perhaps even Lord of the North. She’s trying to appeal to a sense of ambition in Sansa because that is how she approaches her place in the world – and she doesn’t really understand that Sansa doesn’t crave power but just wants to be safe and loved. This talk about children makes Sansa rather uncomfortable and the issue of sex comes up. Sansa is adamant that it isn’t the pain of losing her virginity that she fears (she’s used to bodily pain after what Joffrey’s put her through). Rather she objects to the fact that Tyrion is a dwarf. Margaery then proceeds to talk about how different people find different things attractive and says that sexual experience in a husband can be a good thing for the wife.

I cannot stress enough how I absolutely HATE how the show frames Sansa’s upcoming marriage here! Suddenly, Sansa is presented as shallow when it is in fact not Tyrion’s dwarfism that is the most problematic thing about this marriage. The most problematic thing about this marriage is the fact that Sansa is being FORCED to marry him and that he, as a Lannister, is an enemy of her family! This marriage is a scheme aimed at disenfranchising Sansa and it is predicated upon a plot to murder her older brother so that the Lannisters can claim her home for themselves.

Furthermore, the idea that she should just give Tyrion a chance and try to make the best of things completely puts the onus on her to make the marriage work and that is such a gross notion since she has been given absolutely no choice in the matter, the marriage will make her hostage situation permanent and the whole thing is designed to steal her inheritance.

Combined with the general whitewashing of Tyrion’s character, this framing blames any lack of success in the upcoming marriage on Sansa while erasing her helplessness and lack of consent - it is an implicit piece of victim-blaming, which is almost too gross for words. The changes that the show made with this marriage plot are really deplorable because they appear to have been made in order to make Tyrion more likeable than he is in the books - and this comes at the expense of Sansa’s characterization.

To be continued...

(GIFs not mine)

#game of thrones #sansa stark #winterfell's daughter #petyr baelish #tyrion lannister #margaery tyrell

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mywaay · 8 years

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Sing to El Dorado AU (Chapter 1)

OH BOY! And so it begins, folks! Welcome to my au! Now this is just the first chapter, I plan to make many more in the future! Enjoy!

“Show me seven!” a small voice traveled through the alleyway. A mouse in a red shirt, and an even darker red vest with dark brown pants, stood inside a circle of animals. He shook his hands together and let a pair of dice rolls over the street; the dice stopped rolling.

Five and two.

“Yes!” The mouse cheered, putting his arms up in victory. “Jackpot baby! Woohoo!” he turned and jumped to high five the animal next to him, a koala.

The koala wore a fancy blue shirt and green pants, after he high fived his friend, he began strumming out a tune on his, oddly shaped, guitar.

The animals they had just won against were three, very terrifying looking, bears. The bears looked down in defeat at the pile of gold they had just lost.

“Tons of gold for you, ha!” started the mouse.

“Tons of gold for me, ha!” continued the koala.

“Tons of gold for we, ha!” they finished together.

“HEY!”

A shout from the bear made both animals turn around. The bear had stood up with a growl. “One more roll!” it said.

The koala and the mouse looked at each other, the koala simply shrugged.

“Fellas,” said the mouse, smirking, “you’re broke! You’ve got nothing to bet with!”

The bear met eyes with his companions, who both nodded. “I’ve got this.” he stated, and reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an old piece of paper. He unfolded it, and revealed a gleaming map with strange symbols on it. “The treasures of the new world.”

The mouse placed his hands on his hips and sighed, shaking his head, but the koala’s eyes widened and a big smile grew on his face.

“Mike, let’s have a look!” he said, grabbing the map and his friend. He kneeled down and practically buried his head in the parchment.

“We’ll, uh, be just a minute.” Mike said to the bears before returning to the map.

The koala was searching his eyes over the paper, tracing the trial with his finger. “Look Mike, the map to El Dorado.” he said all fancy like. “This could be it! Our destiny! Our fate!”

Mike rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Moon, if I believed in fate in wouldn’t be playing with loaded dice!”

“Please!” said Moon, drawing out his word and pouting. “Please, please, please!”

“Buster, no, not with the face.” Mike protested, but Moon was already making a serious of sad and pleading face. “No!” said Mike again, not being able to help a small smile.

Suddenly, the map was ripped from their grasp, and the bear stood before them. “My map, for your cash.” he said with a slight grin.

Mike slumped and looked at Buster, who nodded his head up and down happily. “Fine,” sighed Mike. “one more roll.” he said, reaching for his dice.

“Hold on, this time, you use my dice.” said the bear, holding up his pair of dice. Mike hesitated, eyes darting from his friend to the bear. “Is that a problem?”

“No, no problem.” Mike said with a forced smile. He took the dice from the bear and tuned back to Moon, giving him a piercing glare.

Moon gave him a ’sorry’ smile and began to play on his guitar once more.

Mike took a deep breath, quickly blowing on the dice for luck. Seven, I need seven. I need that gold. And that stupid map! The mouse took a step back before tossing the dice on the ground.

“Show me seven!”

The dice rolled over and over, all animals stretched their necks to see what it would land on. Miek covered his eyes with his hands and Buster held his breath.

The dice stopped rolling.

Four and three.

The crowd cheered, and Mike uncovered his eyes, once his eye landed on the numbers he burst out in joy. He had won a game without cheating!

“Yes! Alight!” cheered Buster, strutting over and grabbing the map.

Mike dashed over, ready to cram all the money into his pockets and satchel. He leaned down to pick up a coin, but his dice fell from his vest pocket and onto the ground.

The dice stopped rolling. Five and a two.

The crowd stopped cheering as the bear picked up the dice and rolled them. Five and two. Again he rolled them. Five and two. Mike quickly snatched the dice and exchanged a worried glance with his friend before he began slowly backing up.

“These dice are loaded!” growled the bear.

Buster quickly sent Mike a look, and he knew what to do.

“You gave me loaded dice?” Mike accused his friend, pointing his finger up at him and trying to walk away from the ally and into the courtyard. But he was suddenly blocked by a city guard, an ape, who no doubt had heard all the commotion. Think Mike, think. “He gave me loaded dice!” Mike fake sobbed up at the guard. “Arrest him!”

“You dare disgrace my honor!” said Buster dramatically, placing down his guitar. “He’s the one cheating! Arrest him!” he said giving Mike a tiny shove. “He tricked the bears and took their money!”

“Oh really, now I’m the thief? Take a look in the mirror, pal!” Mike shot back.

“How dare you!” Buster gasped, placing his hand on his chest. He looked around quickly and located the guard’s sword, he snatched it and held it out in front of him. “Engird!”

“Very well!" said Mike, trying to locate something he could use to counter his friend. He spotted an old lizard who was knitting and rushed over, quickly grabbing one of her needles. "I shall give you the honor of a quick and painless death!”

The two ran at each other and their blades met in their phony feud.

“Any last words?” ask Mike with a sly smile.

“I shall cut you to ribbons!” laughed Buster, pushing Mike back and quickly advancing. No one could deny that this was Buster’s favorite part of their adventures, when things went wrong, the two always knew how to draw attention away from themselves, by, of course, drawing attention to themselves.

Now the two danced in the courtyard, kicking up dirt, their swords meeting every few seconds as they shouted insults at each other.

“Back heathen!” Buster would scorn.

“Come at me you fiend!” Mike would reply, jumping up to slash at this friend.

Mike had backed Buster to a wall, and the koala began to climb crates that where next to it.

“You fight like my sister!” Buster mocked, backing up onto the roof of the wall.

“I fought your sister!” said Mike with his finger pointed in the air. “That’s a compliment!” And as he said this he jumped up the creates to meet Moon on the roof.

Their swords met once more and Buster was getting a bit carried away, slashing just a bit too aggressively.

“Moon, not the face, not the face!” Mike hissed through his teeth, blocking Buster’s blows with the knitting needle.

Buster twisted his sword in such a way that it caught the needle and tossed it in the air, Buster lifted his hand up and caught the tool as the crowd cheered.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” began Mike, taking a bow. “we’ve decided it’s a draw!”

“Thank you all for coming.” laughed Buster, throwing down the blades that landed at the guard’s feet. “You’ve been a great audience.”

“Arrivederci!”

And the two hopped over the other side and took their leave.

“Sorry about the gold.” sighed Buster as the two made their way down the back streets of Spain. Make sat on Buster’s shoulder, something he did often, Buster said it helped his brain.

“Ah, whatta ya gonna do?” Mike shrugged. “There’ll always be more people to swindle.”

“Oh! Look a new one!” Moon suddenly turned to a poster on the wall. The poster showed their faces under large words that read ‘WANTED’. “Wow! Look how much we’re worth now!” the koala ripped the paper off the wall and slipped it into his satchel, which was also filled with their wanted posters.

Mike couldn’t help but smile and was going to say something when a growl cut him off. The two turned, and the three bears stood before them once more. “That bounty is a lot.” said the leader. “We’d be living like kings if we turned you in."

"Mike.” Buster whispered, backing up against the wall. “Plan please.”

“Okay, okay. Let me think.” Mike said, shaking, but the bear was already reaching down with his giant claws. “RUN!”

Buster slipped under the bear’s legs and dashed down the alleyway. Mike was almost thrown off his friend and had to climb onto Moon’s head, clinging onto his fur.

“Mike, tell me what to do!” Buster said as the bear’s pursued them. “Where do I go?”

“Okay, hold on!” Mike looked up, ahead there was a fork in the road. Mike knew this street, heck he knew every street in Spain. “Go right!” Mike shouted, pointing his finger in the direction.

Buster did so, and sharply tuned the corner.

“Head to the docks!” Mike instructed. “We’ll lose them there!”

The smell of salt water was already beginning and Buster turned towards it. But the koala stopped short, he was standing on a sharp edge with no place to go. He looked down, and saw a barrel filled with water.

“Moon, no.” started Mike.

“I bet we can make that!” stated Buster.

“Two gold pieces says we can’t!”

But Buster already jumped, and as he fell Mike tightly gripped his fur. He landed in the bucket with a big splash, there was a beat before he popped his head out, both his and Mike’s fur completely soaked.

“You lose!” laughed Buster.

“Grab the lid!” hissed Mike, and Buster grabbed a piece of wood and slipped it over the top of the barrel. “Okay, we need to stay here for a bit, then we can get out and get the hell out of here.”

The two waited for a while, Buster didn’t enjoy the fact that he was waist deep in water, but Mike told him it was better than being in a jail cell.

“Alright,” Mike said after a few minutes. “On three, lift the lid up, I’ll check for anyone.”

Mike counted, Moon pushed, but the lid didn’t open. Mike counted again, but still the lid wouldn’t budge.

The mouse insisted on trying over and over again, eventually it became tiresome. “One more try,” said Mike. “You said that three tries ago.” groaned Buster, but placed his hands on the cover. “One, two, three!”

This time the lid ripped off! Moon and Mike’s heads popped out the top of the barrel, but they weren’t in the docks anymore, they were on a ship and all the crew mates turned towards them.

Buster looked at Mike and they both spoke at the same time. “Oh no.”

#my writing #sing to el dorado au #sing movie #sing 2016 #sing #sing (Mike)#sing (Buster)

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theredherb · 8 years

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Is the Nintendo Switch Launching Too Early?

Breaking Down the Info from the Hybrid Console’s Big Presser

When Nintendo finally revealed the Switch back in late October, I was left more excited about the company’s future in hardware than I have been in years. Granted, that initial trailer was the idealized vision of the console: it was direct in its messaging while shrewdly omitting any hype-strangling details like battery life, resolution, and, most importantly, price. What we were left with was the exciting prospect of console quality games (like the newest Zelda opus) on a handheld hybrid that features modular controllers; a machine that cobbles together what Nintendo is best at -- forward thinking portability and first-party games so good they stand head and shoulders with the best this industry has to give.

On Thursday, Nintendo began filling in the blanks, setting about to answer (at least some) of the questions fans have had circling in their heads since the system’s unveiling. You can watch the entire conference here but, coming from someone that sat through a livestream of the proceeding -- awaiting something, anything, that signaled Nintendo’s return to form -- I’d recommend just reading up on the cliff notes.

Though the affair was poised in the same fashion as one of Sony’s knockout E3 conferences, Nintendo couldn’t land the same blows. I began the show with more enthusiasm than Nintendo let me leave with. After the abject failure of the Wii U (a console that only managed to push slightly north of 13 million units -- the worst sales in Nintendo’s hardware history barring the Virtual Boy) the Switch needed to be touted as a reckoning. It was Nintendo’s chance to convince the fence-sitters to choose their side of the picket. We didn’t get that Thursday night.

Nintendo has always floundered in the stage show department, though. You’re asking the same company that thought this shit was a good idea to try and wow us in an hour and a half. Nintendo’s like that shy kid at the back of the class: he tests well and always turns in his homework, but the second you ask him to walk up to the board and present, he becomes a mumbling, incoherent mess. Of course they shit the bed. This is Nintendo we’re talking about. Credit to that first Switch video, though. I fell for it, too! I wrongly assumed Nintendo was trying to demonstrate they’ve turned a new leaf (no pun intended, Animal Crossing fans). At the presentation, however, it seems Nintendo isn’t just making its same old mistakes but brand new ones.

But I think it’s important to remember that a poor showcase isn’t enough reason to condemn the hardware itself. The tech, despite Nintendo’s aloof messaging, still looks cool. So let’s try to unpack what we learned at the showcase (and the info we gleaned in the days following) without having to suffer through awkward squid doctors and a translator whose probably looking for a new job right about now:

The Nintendo Switch launches March 3rd and costs $299.

I had it in my mind that if NIntendo wanted to blow some toadstools, the price would have been $249. However, this gives them some wiggle room if they wanted to make a $50 cut closer toward the holidays (or if it performs, shall we say, shittily?). Still, $300 is in bounds of reason. Base model PlayStation 4’s and Xbox One’s start at that price. While enthusiasts understand, and could potentially be irked by, the fact that they’re paying the same price for a console that has less horsepower than its contemporaries, we should look to the casual consumer’s mentality instead.

The casual consumer is likely to see this new system from trusty Nintendo --a brand so storied that there was once a time in my childhood where my parents referred to any video game console I had as “a Nintendo” -- see the similar pricing, and lump the Switch’s capability in the same bracket. Any cheaper and a casual consumer may begin to think of the Switch as a handheld: a complementary device that can’t do what a home console does. The very perception Nintendo doesn’t want, evidenced by their reminding us that it is a home console every chance they get.

If you don’t think that’s a genuine concern, keep in mind that the mainstream audience who made the Wii a massive success didn’t know the Wii U was a separate console. Sometimes, even retailers didn’t know what the hell it was.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a launch title. Mario isn’t.

Nintendo ended its ten-mile-jog-through-glass of a presentation with one of the only franchises in this industry that hasn’t been poisoned by cynicism. And goodness gracious does it look breathtaking (sorry, another dollar for the pun jar). Nintendo is well aware that a new Zelda game can pry wallets open -- especially the rare Zelda game that releases at a system’s launch. Unfortunately, Breath of the Wild seems to be the only compelling reason to snag a Switch on Day One.

Super Mario Odyssey, a brand new adventure that sees the Italian reptile stomper leap between dimensions (including an analog for NYC called “New Donk City”... let that settle inside you for a moment), won’t hit the launch window. It’s tentatively set for Holiday 2017. I’m not trying to gloss over the power or draw of a new Zelda title but… that’s coming out on Wii U as well. If you wanted a surefire system seller that tickles the fancies of the mainstream and hardcore, young and old alike, then you sell it alongside a Mario title. So why not wait until your flagship game was ready?

One gander at the launch lineup only underlines this point: there’s only three other games releasing on day one besides Zelda. You have the gimmicky 1-2-Switch that relies on the motion sensors within your Joy-Con controllers to play party games (you can see shades of Nintendo’s belief that the Wii wasn’t a hugely successful fluke in this game); then there’s two third-party offerings from Ubisoft and Activision -- Just Dance 2017 and Skylanders Imaginators, respectively. That’s a paltry showing, even taking into account launches tend to be historically thin.

Beyond that, our confirmed launch window games are either ports of games that have been out for years already (like Skyrim, I Am Setsuna, and Lego City Undercover) or updates to existing Wii U games (like Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Splatoon 2… don’t let the 2 fool you, this sequel feels incremental rather than substantial). There’s some standouts, though. Super Bomberman R looks good, as does Arms which is said to be a surprisingly engaging fighter despite its stupid, stupid name and Nintendo’s obvious attempt to make it A Thing.

The accessories cost an arm and a leg and the other leg too.

This one truly boggles the mind. It’s like Nintendo is trying to offset the money they lost on the Wii U by taxing the shit out of us. Here’s the breakdown:

-Left & Right Joy-Con Controllers: $49.99 for one/$79.99 for both. Okay, I get that there’s all sorts of fancy tech shoved into these little guys. They feature “HD Rumble” which offers impressive feedback, letting you feel like you’re rattling a real cup full of ice or fondling a cow. Then there’s the IR sensor capable of spatial detection so precise, it can detect your very hand gestures. Awesome. Except… will that make a difference when you’re playing a traditional single-player game like Breath of the Wild? Motion controls and playing virtual rock, paper, scissors are decidedly not why I’m excited about a console/handheld hybrid.

-Pro Controller: $69.99. Now you’re off your fucking rocker, Nintendo. The way in which traditionalists and hardcore gamers will undoubtedly favor to play is more expensive than a PS4 or Xbox One controller. Granted, they couldn’t resist tossing in that “HD Rumble” and amiibo functionality. I’m sure that drove up the cost. But goddamn. Imagine wanting to play Zelda with a Pro Controller at launch. You’re out $430 and you only own one game.

-Joy-Con Charging Grip: $29.99. If you’re skipping out on the Pro Controller but still wish to play on your TV, you’ll have to snap off your Joy-Cons to go wireless. Ah, but the charge on those babies drains. Enter the Charging Grip, a peripheral that serves as its own controller while it juices up your Joy-Cons. Ostensibly the only other reasonably priced accessory besides the $14.99 set of Joy-Con Wheels.

-Nintendo Switch Dock Set: $89.99. And we’re back into the clutches of greedy insanity. Now, this bundle -- which includes the dock, AC adapter, and an HDMI cord -- is paired with every Switch out of the box. But, say, your toddler decides to feed your dock some peanut butter or subjects it to a water level in your bathtub, this is one pricey replacement. It looks like a hunk of plastic (and very well could be) but the fact games run at a higher resolution when the Switch is docked could point to more intricate internal components. Still, a $90 price gouge dashes most gamers’ dreams of buying a dock for every TV in the house for convenience's sake (don’t act like you didn’t think about it; deep down, we’re all that lazy).

There’s going to be a paid subscription service for online play, and it already sounds bad.

It’s astounding Nintendo hasn’t figured out an online ecosystem. Nintendo struggles with requisite features companies like Microsoft figured out fourteen years ago. I don’t even mind that they’re charging for the service. Feels like an inevitability in the console space -- though I will argue they have a serious uphill battle ahead to prove the service is worth the coin. What bothers me is that there has been no information on the continuity of service when it comes to transferring Virtual Console games over from the Wii U. There’s also been no word if we’ll finally see a system-wide Achievement feature -- another failing of the Wii U that fans have been pleading to see.

What we do know is that the online service will be free to Nintendo Account holders until the Fall -- when the feature is launched in proper. They’re also offering a free NES or SNES download every month. That’s cute, and they’re incorporating online play to these retro titles, too, but the sour little caveat is that these games are free and playable only for the month you get them. Nintendo, buddy, you’ve already allowed yourself to get meat-checked by the competition, and your system isn’t out yet.

It gets better. They’re attempting to launch a “dedicated smart device app” that “will connect to Nintendo Switch and let you invite friends to play online, set play appointments, and chat with friends during online matches in compatible games -- all from your smart device.”

Are you seriously telling me the console that you’re launching in 2017 doesn’t have native voice chat? That I have to use an external device to play with friends? Nintendo’s been vague when it comes to online-play. Hell, Nintendo’s vague in general, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt until they clarify the matter… Otherwise, I’d have to call them out for being hopelessly fucking antiquated and warn them that their clownish decision making is a self-paved death march out of the hardware business.

Listen, I want to eat crow. I hope Nintendo makes me choke on my own words. I hope, as I always do when they release new gadgets, that Nintendo succeeds. The company is how I first broke into gaming, and those early days with the Super Nintendo are some of my fondest. Of course I want to see Nintendo score another win. In a year’s time, I want to feel like the Switch is an integral, oft used part of my gaming life. The device is interesting and the most appealing piece of machinery Nintendo has shown us in years. But a system is only as good as its games, and this March, there’s only really one title I can hang my hat on. I sincerely hope that changes and that 2017 isn’t as dry as looks right now.

Something stinks about this launch lineup. It stinks of Sega Saturn. The Saturn launched before developers were ready for it, having very little in the way of games prepared for the new console, and Sega suffered the consequences. Again, I’m behind the concept of the Switch 100%. But, from this outlook, it makes little sense for Nintendo to launch in two months. It doesn’t feel ready.

Sure, Nintendo has survived abysmal launches before. The 3DS launched with a nigh empty catalog and that little bastard has been kicking for five years now (managing to smother the Vita along the way). But for as much pull as our favorite Hyrulian has, Mario’s your bigger draw. And what happened to that Pokemon game supposedly in development for the Switch? If Nintendo waited until the Fall and launched with the holy triumvirate of Breath of the Wild, Mario Odyssey, and a new Pokemon, the Switch would sell like gangbusters.

Even the company’s shareholders are having a tough time believing the Switch can reach a wide audience. Just a day after the big conference, Nintendo’s stocks dropped 5.75 percent. It feels just as dismal on the game dev side. The Game Developers Conference released the results of a poll where 50 percent of developers think the Switch can outsell the Wii U. I know, predictions don’t necessarily dictate reality. No, what has me distressed is that, of those who were polled, only 3 percent were actively working on a Switch game.

I’m… trying to remain optimistic. Consoles can make turnarounds. The PS3 famously pulled away from the faulty, downright arrogant decision making that plagued its early years and fought to close the gap Microsoft had forged with the Xbox 360. It’s just that I’d hate to have to wait four years for the Switch to really find its step -- in the same amount of time, the Wii U expended its entire life cycle.

#nintendo switch #nintendo #the legend of zelda #breath of the wild #joy-con #gaming #editorial #featured #super mario odyssey

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unifiedsocialblog · 6 years

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5 Big Marketing Stunts That Worked and What We Can Learn From Them

A big marketing stunt has the potential to either make or break your business.

While a misstep could wreck your brand’s reputation, a success could catapult your business into viral success. From brand awareness to driving sales, the right marketing stunt can help businesses of all sizes reach their goals.

Continue reading to discover:

How top brands have pulled off successful marketing stunts

Why being disruptive can be a good thing when it comes to your brand

Tips on embracing the bizarre in your campaigns

Bonus: Get the step-by-step social media strategy guide with pro tips on how to grow your social media presence.

IHOP

With one of the most talked about marketing stunts of 2018, IHOP showed they were more than just a pancake palace.

It all started on June 4th, 2018, when IHOP tweeted that they’d be flipping the ‘P’ around and changing their name to IHOb. They announced that everyone would have to wait to find out what the ‘b’ stood for—something that immediately got everyone guessing.

For 60 pancakin’ years, we’ve been IHOP. Now, we’re flippin’ our name to IHOb. Find out what it could b on 6.11.18. #IHOb pic.twitter.com/evSxKV3QmT

— IHOP (@IHOP) June 4, 2018

After days of speculation, IHOP(b?) announced that the ‘b’ stood for burgers. Thanks to this campaign, IHOP not only got people associating burgers with their name—seeing word of mouth rise from 19 to 30 percent—but saw their social media popularity skyrocket.

How can your brand follow IHOP’s path to success?

Do your research. You can’t just launch a potentially risky campaign out of nowhere. Before making their Twitter announcement, IHOP discovered that social media conversations about pancakes had declined, while the popularity of burgers was steadily increasing. Find out what your customers are talking about online and highlight ways your business can fulfill their needs.

Build suspense. IHOP’s first Twitter announcement asked their audience to stay tuned to find out what the mysterious ‘b’ stood for. This lent an air of speculation to the campaign and it became an engaging guessing game for the audience. Your brand can easily do this with a marketing campaign.

SodaStream

SodaStream’s CEO Daniel Birnbaum says “the company is always looking for disruptive ways to create moments of joy.” They definitely succeeded with their 2018 April Fool’s Day campaign.

This marketing stunt had Game of Thrones star Thor “The Mountain” Bjornsson and Shahs of Sunset star Reza Farahan introduce SodaStream’s (fake) new product, the SodaSoak—a sparkling water maker for the bathtub.

“The thing about SodaStream’s campaigns is that they address important themes in a lighthearted and funny way that keeps a finger on the pulse of pop culture,” Bjornsson explains. The approach paid off, with AdWeek reporting “this video reached many top April Fool’s lists and gained brand exposure worth many millions.”

What can your brand do to get on SodaStream’s level?

Delight and surprise your audience. By making their commercial in classic infomercial style, there might have been a moment where SodaStream’s audience questioned whether what they were seeing was real. It’s always fun to give your audience something they’re not expecting, so take any opportunity to surprise them with strategic whimsy.

Recognize key dates. SodaStream’s campaign was for April Fool’s Day, but there are key dates and celebrations happening almost every day of the year. When relevant, align your campaign to one of these dates and have fun with it.

Highlight your product. Even though the SodaSoak isn’t real, the parody still presented the key capabilities of SodaStream’s actual product. Even when watching a spoof, the audience was reminded that the SodaStream is able to carbonate plain tap water. In all the excitement of creating a fun campaign, don’t lose sight of what makes your product or service unique.

KFC

If any brand can prove that weird works, it’s KFC. Their marketing stunts have been wonderfully outlandish over the last few years, and it’s a formula that works for the brand.

One of their more out-there campaigns featured a four-hour Facebook Live stream of adoptable kittens climbing on a “fabric husk of a towering model of the brand’s mascot and founder Colonel Sanders.”

While you might have scoffed if an employee pitched an idea like this in a meeting, more than one-million viewers tuned in to KFC’s kitties.

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Colonel Sanders Cat Climber

If enough of you share, we might add more kittens.

Posted by Super Deluxe on Tuesday, July 17, 2018

How can you create a goldmine campaign like KFC?

Brand everything. Whether it’s an ad apologizing for a chicken shortage or a cat tower livestream, KFC knows that putting their brand first and foremost works. Awareness and recall are key to your business’ growth.Make sure you use any opportunity to bring your unique brand into all of your content and marketing assets.

Embrace the weird. While actually running a bizarre campaign like KFC’s might not be possible for all brands, every business can embrace a quirkier approach to campaigns. Add a dash of whimsy to your campaigns where relevant.If you can’t share silly content (say you’re a political organization or serious government branch), you can have fun in your brainstorms, strategy sessions, or at other states of campaign development. For example, ask everyone in your brainstorm to come up with the weirdest, most outlandish idea they can—there are no bad ideas. Sometimes the best “real” ideas can come out of a free-for-all. And the worst case scenario is that your team has a laugh.

Patagonia

While brands are usually advised to avoid politics, the response to Patagonia’s politically-inspired marketing stunt was so positive it crashed their site.

After the President of the United States signed two proclamations to greatly reduce protected land in the Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monuments in Utah, Patagonia responded with images and messages reading ‘The President Stole Your Land’ on their website and social feed.

This is the largest elimination of protected land in American history. Take Action: https://t.co/biZPxo7PHh#BearsEars pic.twitter.com/OqW9FHPk3Q

— Patagonia (@patagonia) December 4, 2017

What can your brand do to reach Patagonia’s level of success?

Know your audience. Patagonia knows that their target customer has environmentally-friendly and eco-conscious values. The company donates a percentage of its revenue to environmental causes, uses recycled, “Fair Trade” certified in its clothing, and uses solar energy at its company headquarters. Figure out who your own brand’s target audience is, and align your actions to their values.

Provide a clear call-to-action. While it would have been easy for Patagonia to post their ad and call it a day, they provide a button encouraging their audience to ‘Take Action Now.’ This leads to a page where visitors can sign a petition and send a pre-written tweet defending public lands. When you are launching a social media campaign of any risk level, include a CTA so your audience knows exactly what you want from them. Check out this blog post from AdEspresso for 31 clever CTA ideas.

Burger King

When it comes to brands tackling important issues, Burger King might not be the first company you think of. However, the fast-food restaurant proved they’re more than capable of getting people’s attention with their Whopper Neutrality stunt.

The campaign had customers ordering Whopper burgers, but receiving them at different times based on how much they were willing to pay. As AdWeek explains, this “was a scathing parallel for how the end of net neutrality could create fast and slow lanes for internet access.” It became their most shared ad of all time with more than 4.5 million Youtube views alone.

What lessons from Burger King’s campaign can your brand put into action?

Combine education and humor. Net neutrality is a complicated issue, but Burger King was able to explain the effects in terms anyone can understand. By making the message accessible to all—as well as humorous—they are providing crucial education for their audience. Consider how your brand can educate your target customers in a relevant way, and centre a campaign around these lessons.

Appeal to your customers’ emotions. Any viewer of Burger King’s ad is sent on an emotional roller coaster. From feeling empathy towards the customers in the video and frustration on their behalf, to experiencing laughter, to fear when the reality of net neutrality being repealed sets in, the content evokes plenty of emotion. Emotions play a crucial role in our ability to recall information, so they’re a powerful part of many successful ad campaigns. Think about how you can stir up emotion in your audience, whether that’s through humor, love, happiness, or plain old FOMO. Our blog post, Social Media and Psychology: 4 Things Marketers Need to Know, shares more ideas for including emotion in your campaigns.

Any marketing stunt has the power to strengthen—or sink—your brand. As long as you follow the lead of the successful brands above and know what you’re doing, your risk can definitely pay off.

Use Hootsuite to easily promote your organic content (or boost it with advertising dollars). From a single dashboard you can schedule and publish posts, engage the audience, monitor conversations, measure performance, and much more. Try it for free today.

Get Started

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brandbaskets · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://brandbaskets.in/the-new-idea-for-those-striving-to-find-a-middle-path-between-fomo-and-jomo-technology-news-ettech/

The new idea for those striving to find a middle path between FOMO and JOMO, Technology News, ETtech

Nikhil Jois was always online. The 28-year-old, who joined almost every social network, believed that “your network is your net worth”.

“In my vanity, I thought that everyone wanted to know where I had that masala dosa. I was craving for validation. I wouldn’t just post something, I would wait to see who likes it, who laughs at my jokes and who is jealous of me,” says the Bengaluru-based tech entrepreneur.

It soon became a vicious loop that he couldn’t escape. He had a fair idea of what addiction meant, and social media had begun to feel like one.

“I put on weight, got unusually stressed and unnecessarily angry. I wasn’t looking good or feeling good.” He tried turning off his mobile notifications and uninstalling some of the apps but eventually ended up logging on to them from his desktop. “It was like I was trying to sneak past myself.”

Then, in April 2017, Jois asked his brother to change all his social media passwords and not disclose them to him. “That really worked wonders for my health and productivity,” he says.

It’s been a year since and he claims he is no longer a social-media addict. “I sleep better. I feel healthier. I have regained two hours of reading time a day.” The web browser app on his cellphone has been replaced with Kindle just so he reads more long-form writing than bite-sized content. “I still get FOMO once in a while, though,” he says.

FOMO, or the fear of missing out, is a two-decade-old phenomenon acronymised by a Harvard MBA, Patrick J McGinnis, in 2002, and bandied about by every third digital literate since 2014. FOMO is a feeling that if one is not online, one might miss out on what others are experiencing, learning or talking about.

People suffering from FOMO are tethered to their digital devices and are often found rigorously posting their life updates, and liking and commenting on other people’s posts. Some of them passively scroll through social timelines to see what everyone’s up to.

Jois curbs FOMO by meeting people in person instead of going down the online rabbit hole. He’s moving towards JOMO, he believes. JOMO, or the joy of missing out, is a relatively positive belief that cutting off all social media and digital devices can be blissful. It was reportedly coined in 2012 by the American blogger and tech entrepreneur Anil Dash who briefly switched off his devices and went offline after the birth of his son.

FOMO and JOMO are the two ends of a spectrum that includes other social media-borne emotions like FOJI (fear of joining in), MOMO (mystery of missing out), SLOMO (slow to missing out). To Karthik Srinivasan, a communications and digital marketing consultant, JOMO is more a glamourisation of privilege. It’s meant for people who can afford to miss out on opportunities and leads that social media has on offer.

“FOMO and JOMO are two extremes. One is harmful, the other unrealistic for most users. Nobody is talking about a balance between the two, the middle path,” he says.

ET Magazine has decided to call the middle path NEMO, which means Nearly but not fully Missing Out.

Jois is an ideal example of NEMO now. He is away from most online networks but hasn’t turned into a social media recluse. He occasionally logs into Facebook to run an ad for his digital agency. He follows a select set of people on Twitter to get a lowdown on what’s happening in the world.

Palak Kapadia, 22, is another young NEMO-ite. The Mumbai-based writer envied people who seemed to have a better life on Instagram until she became what she resented. In September 2017, she got an offer to teach English in a high school in Nantes in western France. It was a seven-month term that gave her a chance to visit 14 countries in Europe over the weekends. “Now I was showing off how great my life was.”

Travelling also made her introspect. “It was exhausting to stay updated and keep posting everything all the time,” she recalls. During a trip to Italy, she chanced upon a quote that said: “Would you continue to do what you’re doing if you knew nobody was watching?” She recalls: “I realised my fear of missing out on other people’s lives was actually making me miss out on my own.”

Earlier she would post 10 Instagram Stories a day. “Now, I barely do one in a couple of days.” Completely disconnecting from social media was not an option for her as she likes to know what her friends and extended family are up to.

Pankaj Malani, head of content at tech startup Dailyhunt, is a NEMO cadet, too. He quit Facebook four months ago because he couldn’t keep up with the stream of “fake happiness”. “People were getting married, having kids, going on vacations; it’s as if their lives were perfect when in reality I knew it was far from it.”

However, social media has also proved to be a great tool for him at work. “Every time I need a voice-over guy, a small-time actor, a translator, I just tweet it out and find someone within minutes.”

A lot of people depend on social platforms professionally, says Amrita Clements, a Mumbai-based clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist. A majority of them also try to perfect their image on social media. “Social media has proved to be an amazing tool to connect the older generation but has made the younger generation in big cities even lonelier.” 80% of her patients recognise its role in changing their behaviour and causing them anxiety and depression.

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Instead of asking them to clamp down on a behaviour, she puts them on the path of NEMO. “I tell them to create boundaries: avoid logging in when they are in a bad mood because it may end up making it worse.”

She encourages them to work on real relationships and focus on themselves. One-fifth of her patients who acknowledge social media’s role in increasing their anxiety are removing social network apps from their phones. Detachment from all platforms à la JOMO is still not advisable. “Social media has also helped normalise mental health issues. It’s hard to cut off something that can be so positive at times,” she says.

The middle path propagated by NEMO is finding takers around the world. According to Socialreport.com’s March 2018 report, around 400 million Facebook users are taking a social media detox on a monthly basis, as opposed to a blanket ban. Apps to help people track mobile usage or keep from distractions have come up.

In 2014, Kevin Holesh created an iOS app called Moment to check his device addiction. The app, at 5.3 million downloads right now, tracks your iPhone and iPad usage and sets daily usage limits so you don’t waste time on the gadgets. In-app purchases range from Rs 200 to Rs 2,000. 6% of its user base is from India. “It’s been a wild ride,” says the Pittsburgh-based UI-UX designer who has seen a 100% year-on-year growth in user base in the last four years.

He sees a huge boost in sales early January because of New Year resolutions. The concern around data privacy after the Facebook-Cambridge Analytica debacle was also good for business, he says.

While the future is certainly mobile-based, the highly productive times of many are often on desktop. In 2009, a North Carolina-based tech company called Freedom created an eponymous software that could be used across mobile phones and desktops to block distracting websites and apps as per the user’s wish. A tenth of its 750,000 users are from India, says Fred Stutzman, founder of Freedom.

Neither Stutzman nor Holesh is a proponent of JOMO. “It is unrealistic to expect people to go smartphone-free. Limiting yourself to two hours on the phone daily is a good place to start with,” says Holesh.

JOMO may have been called the next big trend, but it is actually NEMO that is turning out to be a potential global industry, with the emergence of a raft of phone-tracking and meditation apps that helps you have a balanced digital life.

Digital wellbeing is being turned into an experiential business too. A weekend of digital detox retreat at select tourist locations across the world ranges between $200 and $4,000.

In India, even the internet de-addiction centres in metros don’t talk about completely cutting off social media and digital devices. “Complete abstinence will be met by complete resistance. We have to reduce the dysfunctional part of one’s behaviour that leads to addiction,” says Dr Manoj Kumar Sharma, a clinical psychologist at NIMHANS, who was instrumental in setting up the Services for Healthy Use of Technology (SHUT) clinic under the aegis of the Bengaluru-based medical institution that deals with mental health and neurosciences.

It’s also fashionable to look at social media addiction as a thing in itself when addictive behaviour is actually a lot more complex, says Dr Alok Sarin, a Delhi-based psychiatrist.

“People with addiction are prone to dependency behaviour. This dependency can be on a variety of things, including gambling, gaming and technology in general. It’s difficult to say if the problem is with the behaviour or the platform,” he adds. Companies like Google and Samsung are doing their bit to ensure their platforms offer a balance between digital connectivity and digital wellbeing.

Earlier this year, Arianna Huffington, cofounder of Huffington Post, launched the beta version of a digital wellness app called Thrive in India through the Samsung Galaxy Store and the Google Play store. “We will be officially launching the app in India this summer,” says Danny Shea, head of global expansion at Thrive Global.

Last month, Sundar Pichai, CEO of Google, announced a host of features for its upcoming products under the digital wellbeing umbrella while addressing the audience at the tech giant’s annual I/O conference. Finding a balance between FOMO and JOMO was key to his speech as well. A balance that, ironically enough, even the makers of apps like Moment and Freedom are striving to achieve. Everyone is indeed on a quest towards finding their NEMO.

Acronyms of Social Media Age

FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)

It is the anxiety caused by the assumption that if you are not online, you might miss out on what others are experiencing, learning or talking about

FOJI (Fear of Joining In)

It is the worry that your social media friends may not like or comment on your posts and pictures so you are less likely to post updates and could out of platforms at once. FOJI is exhibited by people who delete their post if it hasn’t received too many reactions within an hour of posting

MOMO (Mystery of Missing Out)

When you notice that your friends haven’t posted in a while and you feel anxious that they are having too much fun without keeping you in the loop

FOMOMO (Fear of the Mystery of Missing Out)

The feeling that you are missing out due to a broken or out-of-battery phone

SLOMO (Slow to Missing Out)

When you sleep through the night unaware of your friend’s party, only to wake up to a timeline full of pictures and updates from the same

BROMO (Bros Protecting you from Missing Out)

When your friends don’t post pictures from a fun gig just so you don’t feel left out

JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)

The belief that cutting off from social media and digital devices can lead to happiness

NEMO (Nearly but not fully Missing Out)

The acronym coined by ET Magazine to describe the balance a lot of users are trying to strike between FOMO and JOMO. NEMO is when you have not fully cut off from your devices or social media. (Source: theguardian.com and other media reports)

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bloggerblagger · 7 years

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82) Obession. Futility. Joy. (Late summer notes from home and abroad.)

Sitting in a café in a village called Lisle near Perigourd in the Dordogne.

Probably sounds a lot better than it is. The weather has been awful and is still very iffy. As I write I am listening to ‘Talksport’ through my laptop - I am only in this particular café because it has ‘weefee’ as they say ici. I am glued to Jim White on transfer deadline day. Only football victims will understand why. It would be impossible for any sane person to imagine a bigger waste of the diminishing time I have left. (No, nothing to get alarmed about. Just a general observation about the eventually inevitable.)

Apparently the Ox has gone to Liverpool for sixty thousand a week more than he was offered at the Emirates. (Don’t know who the Ox is? Or think that the Emirates are somewhere near the Persian gulf? Count yourself lucky.)

It always make me smile grimly when gaziliionaire footballer salaries are talked about in terms of ‘wages’ of so much a week. I have a vision of one of those cashier’s offices they used to have in offices and factories where, every week, staff queued up to collect their money which was dispensed in small, top-pocket-shaped manilla envelopes through a tiny sliding window. I see hundreds of thousands of pounds stuffed into a suitcase size version of one of those, being squeezed through by some old gorgon who barks out, ‘Mbappe! Sign here.’

Time wasting, continued.

Last week,as keen readers of my Facebook page will know, I was up in Edinburgh for the Fringe. (Not sure that ‘keen’ is really the word. Very bitter that I am not getting the number of likes that I deserve. I’m taking it personally.)

I started off by writing potted reviews of the first few shows I’d seen, and pasting them on Facebook. As I suffer - or masochistically enjoy - take your pick - from a mild but very definite case of OCD, I was then compelled by my inner demons to finish as I’d started. So I reviewed them all - each day’s reviews getting a little less potted than the last.

Regardless of the degree of potting, writing these reviews was a pretty pointless exercise, as it was the last week of the fringe. Even if someone was daft enough to take any notice of what I thought, how much use could they be when all the final curtains were about to come down? (Not content with that, I have now taken pointlessness to whole a new level by reproducing all these reviews a few paragraphs below, a week after the Fringe finished.)

Purpose discovered.

However what would most definitely not be pointless would be going to the Edinburgh fringe next year. This was the second year I have been and I have to report that it is a better mood improver than any amount of Prozac. If you need a swift uptake of serotonin, go north young man/woman/non binary whatever.

Wait. I need to qualify that. It could equally be a terrible downer if you fancied yourself as a comedian, actor, dancer, singer, magician, acrobat or any other kind of performer. For, at the Edinburgh fringe, the bar is set dizzyingly high.

I was told that during the four weeks of the festival there are three thousand - THREE THOUSAND!!! - different shows to see, and if the twenty three that I saw were anything to go by, about 80% are three star good or better, and about 15-20%, five star stunning. The competition must be terrifying.

You will probably never have heard of the vast majority of performers and given how few opportunities there are for them to make it to the big-time - however talented, you’d still need a supersized slice of luck - chances are you never will again. But in that in no way diminishes their genius, just the opportunity to appreciate it.

Best in show.

Of all the many delights that I witnessed, there is just one that I will single out. ‘Butt Kapinski’ is the persona adopted by an American comic called Deanna Fleyscher, and Butt is a Sam Spade-ish private eye with a sort of bendy desk-lamp sticking out of the back of his mac and over his invisible trilby. It is the only light source in the show and the key prop in setting the scene of an impromptu film noir, the cast of which is Butt and everyone in the audience. If that doesn’t sound barmy enough, all the men in the audience are cast as women and the women as men.

Oh and Butt’s voice is another thing; sort of wildly exaggerated Noo Yoyick mixed up with a childish lisp. Why? I haven’t a clue. Why was any of it funny? I really couldn`t say. I am someone who normally likes his comedy to make sense, to be able to trace the path of the gag, and understand the lateral jump that allows two and two to make five. Butt Kapinski is anything but that. Yet I found it as LOL as LOL gets and l was not alone. Pythonesque? Possibly but not quite. Milliganesque? In a way, I suppose. Perhaps more Marty Feldman with shades of Stanley Unwin, You have to be my age to get those references but any age will get Butt Kapinski. I really hope Deanna Fleysher is one of the happy few who does manage to break through.

Roll up, roll up.

I have a suspicion that she may be back next year at Edinburgh, because lots of these artistes travel from one Festival to another. There is a worldwide circuit apparently - Adelaide in Feb/March is another considered to be up there with the best. A little far but a lot warmer than Edinburgh.

Yes, the weather is ordinary at best, and the streets are packed - the population is said to double during the Fringe - but Edinburgh is a magnificent city, and worth a visit in its own right. Not that you will see that much of it, if you go for the Fringe. You’ll be dashing from play to comedian to magician to dancers to improv to musicians to acrobats and back again.

Do yourself a favour. Next year, skip the beach for a week and try a bit of funbathing in Edinburgh instead.

Five point three days at the Fringe 2017. Twenty four reviews of shows it’s too late for you to see. Plus a thrilling personal highpoint midway through Thursday that had nothing to do with anything I saw. (Skip the rest by all means but do not miss that bit.)

Tuesday.

Arrived in Edinburgh about 6pm on Monday night to see stuff from last week at the Fringe. So far seen 5 shows. If you too are up in Edinburgh, here, for what they are worth, are my potted crits. (Just my opinions - I claim nothing more.)

TWO shows get 5 stars from me and are very highly recommended. ‘Woke’ a one woman drama with the magnetic, totally convincing Apphia Campell. And the astonishing ‘Butt Kapinski’, comedy as you have never, ever seen it. (At least I hadn’t.) Completely crackers but captivating. I give 4 stars to Kai Humphreys a charming Geordie comedian with a refreshing angle on the world. And a measly 2.5 stars to Tiff Stevenson, who has been well reviewed and had some good material but she took aim at what I thought were some pretty easy targets and her relenless de-ermination to ge down with the people by omi-ing every T really eed me off. Finally a black hole to 'Would You Adam and Eve It.’ Enough said.

Four more to see tomorrow.

Wednesday.

Today saw 4 more shows.

1. 'Tutu’ - see photo - all male French comedy ballet troupe. By turns breathtakingly brilliant (the dancing) and completely incomprehensible (the comedy). But I have been to enough Club Med shows to know that what passes for humour en France est très bloody étrange. 4 stars.

2. Gavin Webster, my second Geordie comic of the week. Playing in a tiny space which wasn’t full which was a great pity because this guy deserves an audience. Great delivery and lots of good stuff with one really clever running gag that alone made it money well spent. Very nearly 5 stars and certainly 4 and a bit.

3. 'The Joni Mitchell Story’. A young woman with a beautiful voice and a dowdy dress and lank hair and no make-up and bunions on her bare feet sings Joni Mitchell songs whilst a male voice-over whining in best Estuary tells us the strange story of Joni’s early life as accompanying slides are shown above the stage. Great songs well sung, interesting tidbits, effortless - as in no effort made - presentation. I feel a bit guilty saying this because she seemed very pleasant, but honestly, music apart, it was so half arsed. Average audience age about 170. 2.5 stars.

4. 'We are Ian’. Using dance and mime and a video backdrop (and a lot of neo-gurning) three twenty something girls tell the true life tale of a Mancunian dj called Ian living through the halcyon (apparently) House Music days of 1989. (Ancient history to them and much too late for me to relate to the story.) It was as odd as it sounds and I started off wanting to hate it as I was three time as old (literally) as 95% of the audience. But in the end I was forced to admit they had something and the audience absolutely loved it, just about all bar one - me - finishing up dancing manically on stage. 4 stars.

Thursday.

Seven - SEVEN - shows today!

1. A man sits on stage completely naked playing with his dick which he refers to as his pussy. No idea what he was on about, nor when he started prancing about giving incomprehensible little monologues as a bitter Glaswegian husband and wife (both parts) and a prancing old queen, in between further sessions of dick handling. The audience nervously tittered occasionally though I doubt they had any idea what they were laughing about. Was it art? Or was it pretentious shit?I went for the latter and left after 20 minutes. Show was called ‘This is Not Culturally Significant’ - and the title was the one thing you couldn’t argue with. No stars but another Black Hole. (Of the astronomical metaphorical variety. Happily I didn’t to stay long enough to see if the audience were ever exposed to the literally anatomical kind.)

2. Not a show but a game called 'Werewolves’, in which twenty people take part under the aegis of a ringmaster with a silvery beard and a voice so quiet I might almost have thought I was a bit mutton jeff. (I am.) The idea is that the villagers have to kill off the werewolves and vice versa. Lots of fun. 4 stars.

Just been asked for my senior’s ID at the box office! Yesss! GET IN!!!

3. A comic and a chef called George Egg cooks breakfast lunch, and dinner using DIY tools from his shed.You even get to sample the food at the end. Ingenious and jolly. 4 stars and a bit of an extra star because George comes from Brighton.

4. ’Notflix’. Six young women make an impromptu musical out of a non-musical film title that they have picked from a hat filled with suggestions from the audience. The title they got was ‘Wardogs’ which was about big biz and oil and the CIA in the Iraq war. Not promising material but they made a decent if not dazzling fist of it. 3 stars.

5.’Ben Hart’ is a magician who left me seriously impressed. At one point he took rings from three different people in the audience and rubbed them until they interlinked. How on earth was that possible unless they were trick rings that were swapped for the originals - and back again when he separated them - or the audience members were plants? Neither seemed likely but what other explanation could there be? I love a good magic show. Who doesn’t? (Well, I suppose some people don’t.) Four stars comfortably.

6. Sarah Kendall, an Aussie comedian - I presume comedienne is no longer PC - produced a cleverly structured hour which had a bit more depth and tad more polish than your average turn. She touched on some tricky family issues and some quite profound ones and smoothly managed the tonal changes required as she went from outright gag making to being thought provoking. Very nearly 5 stars.

7. Denim is a 5 person drag act. I have never quite understood the appeal of drag - Danny La Rue never did it for me. Quite liked La Cage Aux Folles but that was about it. And, in the era of LGBTQ etc when the closet door is so wide open, I wonder whether the outrageousness of drag is really necessary? Is there that much to be outraged about? Notwithstanding all that, they were brilliant singers and performers and gave rousing renditions of a lot old favourites of the ‘I will survive’ variety. 4 stars.

Friday.

Five more shows.

Should have seen ‘Trashed’ first, a play that had been highly recommended to me but for which I contrived to be 6 minutes late, and was consequently refused admission. They kept me out but kept my money. Fuck them.

1. 'Not for Prophet’ a stand-up routine by half Pakistani, half Bangladeshi, ex-banker and lapsed Muslim, Eshaan Akbaar, who had a winning, easy charm but too few really good jokes to be worth more than 3 of my hard to earned stars

2. ‘These Trees the Autumn Leaves Alone’. First of two shows with blokes with long curly red hair and beards. This one was a 'story telling’, or so Curly Ginge no.1 explained. This seems to be some sort of new (or really, I suppose, a revival of a very old) niche art form in which someone reads and semi-acts out a story they have written. A sort of prose version of performance poetry. I started off wanting to hate it, not least because his occasional and rather pointless musical accompanists, a smug male guitarist and a simpering woman singer, were each, at the outset, the subjects of a declaration of love from Curly Ginge no.1, delivered without any noticeable irony. On top of that he was barefoot. However, I have to say that in the end my entirely understandable prejudices - not against red hair by the way, I am absolutely not gingerist - were overcome by the charm of his story. Three and a bit stars.

3. 'Double Feature’. Two comedians or possibly actors called Andy Gray and Grant Stott, who are apparently well known in Scotland but not to me, perform a rather stagey show in which they are supposed to be tradesmen of some sort - they wear overalls, that’s the clue - working in an old cinema being converted into flats. Having often come to this cinema when they were childhood friends they reminisce about the old days and act out passages from famous films they once saw. No, it doesn’t sound like a very good idea and it wasn’t. Not even two stars.

4. 'Letters to Morrisey’. Started off wanting to hate this too - default position of card-carrying curmudgeons comme moi - but beardy Curly Ginge no.2 (Gary McNair) gives an electrifying performance in a one man play about a boy with teenage angst and a heavily weighing secret who feels that only Morrisey (lead singer of eighties Indie band, the Smiths, if you didn’t know*) will understand. Four stars and almost five. (*Don’t be too embarrassed if you didn’t. I barely did and certainly couldn’t name a single one of their waxings.)

5.’Siblings’. Had I known more about these two girls (not quite as young as they look in the pic) I would have wanted to hate this too - bloody privileged showbiz kids grrrr - but I have only just discovered on the internet that they are Maddy and Marina Bye, real life sisters, which I would never have guessed as they look nothing like each other, and, more to the point, turn out to be Ruby Wax’s daughters. Not knowing that at the time, and as neither had curly hair and a beard, I was prepared to give them the benefit off the doubt. But even if I had been my usual misanthropic self, I would have been easily won over. They put on a completely barmy sort of sketch show, some of which made sense and was hilarious and some of which made none but which still kept the audience in fits because they radiated such good humour and effervescence. Two stars to each of them. (For the benefit of anyone under forty, get your calculator out and you’ll find that makes four.)

Saturday.

Went to twenty one shows earlier in the week - in four full days and one evening only. (Well, walked out of two, but I walked into twenty one.) Three more today, although one of them is not actually in the fringe. So that’ll be 24 in all!

1.‘Borders’. A harrowing, thought provoking, cleverly worked two handed play about the world of the refugee, unflinchingly and unsentimentally told both from the point of view of the refugee and the people behind the camera lens through which the refugee’s story is brought to us. I thought it was gripping and unsettling and I shower five stars at least upon it. However, i should say that I am possibly biased. Its author, Henry Naylor, a former comedian who, with his comedy partner of the time, once had a BBC radio show, 'Parsons and Naylor’, is someone I have thought of as a friend since he featured in a series of commercials that I *helmed for Direct Line about 200 years ago. (*Never used the word 'helmed’ before but I keep hearing it in film reviews and I rather like thinking of myself as ‘helming’ something. Sounds rather dashing, a bit Jack Aubrey.) Last year, by the way, another of Henry’s plays called ‘Angel’ played to rave reviews - and not just mine - at Edinburgh, and is finally coming to London in the very near future. if you haven’t seen it, look out for it.

2. Cirkopolis. After my conscience had been given a right old prod by ‘Borders’ it was off to the circus. Well almost. Against a dazzling, constantly evolving projected backdrop, French Canadian dance, juggling and acrobatic troupe 'Cirque Éloize’ gave a fantastic demonstration of breathtaking, body bending, gravity defying, ooh-and-aah provoking trickery and dare-devilry in a show loosely themed around Fritz Laing’s legendary silent film,’Metropolis’. All sorts of gravity defying feats but the act that really did my head in was the chap with the diabolo. (See the illustration if you, like me, didn’t know that a diabolo is called a diabolo.) Such whirling, catching, pirouetting, juggling as you have never seen. Unless you’ve seen him of course. Five stars.

3. Finally, the long slow climb to the very top and 32nd row (officially designated row FF. That’s FF as in For Fucks sake, how much further?) Up and up we climbed to the summit of the monster three sided stadium set into the side of the steep granite hill (or whatever it is) that Edinburgh Castle is built upon, there to see - along with 8,799 others - the Edinburgh Tattoo. Easy to be sniffy and cynical about it, and nobody does cynicism with more sniffiness than your reviewer, and yes, there is something faintly comical about military marching bands constantly evolving into new and ever more pointless formations as they play - columns that become circles which become windmills and then back into lines, but why? (A sort of mass group dressage but without horses.) Despite all that, and the Scottish dancing - curiously I am sure there was just one bloke amongst about sixty girls - and the corny voice over (Ken Bruce?) booming through the speakers and the guest dancers from India to mark the 70th anniversary of independence - where were the Pakistanis you might well ask? - and the nippy mid-August chill, I did, in the end, buy into it. It is a staggering feat of organisation and the music - particularly the drumming - is impressive. And when the lone piper stood way up on the castle parapet to play the final piece, I found it really quite moving. If you are going to Edinburgh you have to go. Five stars.

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