#'eh still seems kinda fishy to me he's up to something'

[lordoftermites]

To me, the simultaneously saddest and sweetest thing about Cardan and Jude is that by themselves, they are their own worst enemy. They spend so much time fighting their own shadows, thinking they have to be these monstrous things in order to get by and believing they aren't allowed to have something nice or good because they've never had it, not really.

But together, after they've stripped some of that armor, they bring out the absolute best in one another. Jude teaches Cardan he isn't some failed, ill-fated forgotten child undeserving of love. Cardan teaches Jude that her mortality and everything that comes with it has never been a weakness, it's power.

They are mirrors, each reflecting the heart of the other so they can finally see their truth.

And I just... really fucking love that.

[humancomedy]

Human Comedy: Tragedy - 4

Nazuna: So Itsuki's still like that...? Looking down on things and saying stuff like "vulgar" even though he used to do TV jobs, too—he's being a hypocrite.

Location: Inside the Bus

Nazuna: So Itsuki's still like that...? Looking down on things and saying stuff like "vulgar" even though he used to do TV jobs, too—he's being a hypocrite.

Mika: Nah, nah, it's 'cause he thinks TV's vulgar that he's tryna change it into somethin' more artistic and refined-like.

Oshi-san's like that with everything. Idols are probably just somethin' he wants to reform, too.

Nazuna: Making the vulgar refined, turning common entertainment into art... That's a thorny path he's chosen to walk. But, well, looking at how Itsuki is now, I feel like he'll actually be able to do it.

Mika: Right? I believe in him.

Nazuna: Yup. In the past he used to let his brilliance run completely unchecked, so there were a lot of people who couldn't keep up with him... But now Itsuki feels a little softer, I guess.

If a genius is able to translate their creations into something that the common masses can understand, then they'll be absolutely unbeatable. Even if normal people try to overturn them, they'll never lose.

Mika: Heh. I've been tellin' ya that from the start, haven't I? Oshi-san's the strongest, there ain't no one even close t'bein' his rival. ♪

(...Wait a sec, why am I talkin' with Nazuna-nii all chummy like this? I can't—he's a traitor!)

(But even though I think that, he really is easy to talk to. I feel all warm and fuzzy just chattin' with him.)

(No, this is bad he's a traitor, an enemy.)

(Ngah~ Now I'm feelin' all down in the dumps.)

Nazuna: What's up? You're looking at me really intensely... Is there something on my face?

Mika: N-Nope~? As always, yer face's so pretty it ticks me off?

Nazuna: ...Thanks?

Tomoya: Umm, Kagehira-senpai?

Mika: Ngah? Whaddya want, uhm, Tomoya-kun...?

Tomoya: Sorry, I know this is impolite, but—could you give me your autograph?

Mika: Huh? Sure, I don't mind... Ah, wait, I gotta get permission from Oshi-san first.

I reckon he'd say somethin' like, "Think about what it means for an artist to give out their signature!"

But yer not just some random stranger, Tomoya-kun, and I know ya won't misuse it or nothin'. Why do ya want my autograph, though?

Tomoya: Ah, my little sister's friend wanted it. I did tell her to quit asking me for this kind of thing 'cause it's a bother and she'll never stop asking for more otherwise, but, yeah...

Mika: Ngah, yer lil' sis' friend is...a fan of Valkyrie?

Nazuna: Huh. If her friend is around the same age as her, that means they're still a kid. They've got surprisingly refined taste~

Tomoya: Ah, didn't you hear? Right now, Valkyrie's really popular with girls from kindergarten to middle school.

Nazuna: Eh, what? Itsuki is? I don't know why, but this smells kinda fishy...

Mika: He ain't doin' nothin' criminal. Sometimes ya really are just naturally rude, Nazuna-nii...

Anyway, ya see... Recently, we've been participatin' in a collaboration project between a big anime company and a big toy company.

An anime's bein' made for the project, and we've been composin' music for it, then singin' and recordin' songs ourselves.

Ah, and we've been designin' some costumes, accessories 'n toys for it too.

Seems folks really liked our work, so now Valkyrie's style is real popular among lil' kids.

'S hard to believe myself, but...

Look, you can see a couple o' kids wearin' Valkyrie-lookin' clothing just out the bus window.

Nazuna: Eh, where? Ahh, now that you mention it, that does look like Itsuki's taste.

Mika: Hehe, seems like lil' kids enjoy wearin' those kinda over-the-top clothes more than adults do.

They're a lil' dark, but they seem to go down well with kids who still believe in ghosts 'n monsters 'n stuff.

It's a pretty mature-lookin' style, too, so it's perfect for kids who wanna grow up quick. And on top o' that, it's real stylish, ain't it?

Nazuna: Yeah... When you put it like that, I feel like you guys always had the potential to be popular.

Mika: Heh. This is all thanks to Anzu-chan. She put together a presentation and sang praises 'bout us to a buncha different companies.

Oshi-san was also... loads more eager than I thought he'd be. He started promotin' stuff real passionately.

Nazuna: That guy loves little kids, after all.

Mika: Yer really askin' for a misunderstanding, sayin' it like that. But, well, I think this'll just be a passin' fad~ The project's real big and all, but it'll only be goin' on for a lil' while.

We've grown pretty darn popular, so it's likely they'll ask for us again next time, but...

Oshi-san's gonna be goin' overseas after graduation, so we ain't got no choice but to step away from the project.

Seems like he'll be busier over there, so he said his hands're tied.

Nazuna: Hmm, so he's going abroad after graduation... Well, he's been saying that he wants to go see the world since a while back. He's more of a shut-in type, though. I guess he's really pushing himself.

...Kagehira, are you alright with that?

Mika: I gotta be. It's what Oshi-san chose for himself, after all.

Valkyrie's gonna break up soon, so it's a huge accomplishment that at least in the end we managed t'become so popular we're almost a right social phenomenon.

It'll be the crowning glory that'll adorn us. All of Oshi-san's efforts are finally gonna pay off.

Nazuna: ...What're you gonna do after this? Haven't you thought about scouting new members and continuing Valkyrie?

Isn't it fine for you to take over the project? Itsuki's probably thinking something along the same lines, and it'll be a waste if you disband now that you've finally gotten so popular.

Mika: Nazuna-nii... Of all people, yer the one talkin' to me 'bout takin' things over?

'Course, I'm wonderin' what I should do~ I ain't got a clue to that end yet, but...Valkyrie belongs to Oshi-san. I'm just one lil' part of it.

If we disband now, Valkyrie can fade away all graceful-like. But if I took over, my precious Valkyrie'll just end up all sad 'n tarnished.

I couldn't stand somethin' like that.

But ya probably wouldn't understand, Nazuna-nii.

Ya turned yer back on us, forgettin' all we went through together, an' left us without sparin' us a single glance. No, there ain't no way you could understand.

Rather than decayin' all nastily, giving off a rotten stench as we live on... We'd rather die with beauty.

Nazuna: ......

← prev ❖ all ❖ next →

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Yuma Maniac [08]

Yui: ( ーー It’s a little later now, and it seems like Yuma-kun has finally calmed down. )

Hey, Yuma-kun. What should we do now?

Yuma: Actually, ‘bout that...Why don’t we leave this place already and return to the Demon World?

Yui: Good idea. I’m worried about Kou-kun and Azusa-kun as well...

I wonder what happened to them after the waterway collapsed? Don’t tell me they were... (1)

Yuma: No need to worry ‘bout them.

Your Shin’s target. There’d be no reason for him to harm Kou or Azusa.

I’m more so worried ‘bout that dude...

Yui: That guy...?

Yuma: Mertz. He just seems so fishy to me...

Yui: ( He said that this morning as well. I don’t think we should be so suspicious of the person who has been helping us though... )

*Knock*

Mertz: Excuse me. Can I come in?

Yui: Mertz-san!

Yuma: Che, when ya speak of the Devil...

Oi, we’re busy right now. If you’ve got somethin’ to tell us, just say it through the door.

Mertz: I’m just here to call the two of you since dinner is ready, so...

Yuma: Dinner? I don’t remember askin’ for that shit? Now scram!

Yui: Y-Yuma-kun...

Selection

→ Call him out on his behavior (♡)

Yui: That’s just plain rude.

Yuma: Aah? What’s yer problem? Are ya takin’ his side!?

Yui: That’s not what I meant...But I don’t think you should paint yourself as the bad guy by jumping down his throat. 

Yuma: ...Ugh.

...My bad. You’re right. That guy might be suspicious, but I might have overreacted a lil’. 

Well, we shouldn’t let good food go to waste, huh? Shall we go eat?

Yui: Yeah!

→ Wait and see 

Yui: ( I wouldn’t want to upset him even more by making a misplaced remark, so I’ll just keep quiet and see how things unfold... )

Mertz: I see...My sincere apologies for doing something unnecessary. However, why not try it now that I’ve made it anyway?

While you may be unbothered as a Vampire, I believe the lady with you might be hungry? 

Yuma: ...Are ya, Yui?

Yui: Now that he mentions it, I haven’t eaten anything since this morning...

Yuma: Haah...Guess we’ll go eat at least then. I can’t really tell ya to starve when I sucked yer blood earlier. 

Yuma: Oi, Mertz! ‘Bout what ya said earlier. We’re gonna eat yer grub after all.

Mertz: I see. I will be waiting for you then. 

ー He leaves

Yui: Hey, Yuma-kun. Let’s ask Mertz-san for a way to return to the Demon World later. 

The waterway we used collapsed after all, so we’ll have to look for another entrance. 

Yuma: Right. Kinda ironic how we have to rely on the help of others, even though this is supposed to be my homeland...

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Yui: ーー Thanks for the meal. Aah, it was delicious!

Mertz: I’m glad you enjoyed it. 

Well then, please go get everything ready for your departure. I’ll escort the two of you to the entrance of the Demon World.

Yui: Are you sure? You’ve already done so much for us, and on top of that you’re willing to guide us there...

Mertz: Don’t mention it, please. I just so happened to be planning a trip back to the Demon World as well.

Yuma: How have things been over there lately? Rumor has it that the Vibora’s castle got attacked...

Mertz: Aah...

I see. I have not gone back there in quite some time, so I was not aware. 

Yuma: ...

Yui: ( ...Yuma-kun...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the forest

Mertz: It’s dark, so please watch your step. 

Yuma: ...

Yui: ( I wonder what has gotten into Yuma-kun? He’s been quiet this whole time... )

Yuma: ...Oi, Yui.

ー He pulls her close

*Rustle*

Yui: ...

( W...Why did he suddenly pull me against him...? )

Yuma: ...Don’t say anything. Just listen. 

Yui: Eh...?

Yuma: If he...If Mertz makes even somewhat of a suspicious move, immediately make a run for it.

Yui: What do you mean? 

Yuma: Keep quiet, remember...Listen? Don’t hesitate and just run, okay?

Yui: ( Yuma-kun is still suspicious of Mertz-san... )

( I can’t tell, but perhaps Yuma-kun has picked up on something...? )

ー Yui has a dizzy spell

Yui: ...Uu...

( What’s happening...? I suddenly feel dizzy... )

( Oh no...I can’t keep my eyes open...My consciousness...is slowly slipping... )

ー Yui collapses

*Thud*

Yuma: Oi, Yui! What’s wrong? Hang in there! Oi...!

Fuck...Why...Uu...

Che...Me too...? ...Damnit...!

ー Yuma collapses as well

*Thud*

Mertz: ...

ー Shin walks up to them

Shin: Geez, you finally caught them?

Mertz: What shall we do?

Shin: I’m gonna take these two with me. You can go on your merry way.

God, this lowlife Vampire sure knows how to cause someone trouble!

*THUD*

Yuma: Ugh...

Shin: Oh? You’re still conscious? They do say that vermin is hard to get rid of. Hehe...Hahaha...!

Monologue

ーー Amidst the deep darkness,

Shin-kun’s laughter echoes.

Why did I not believe Yuma-kun’s words (言葉),

when he told me that Mertz-san is suspicious?

As my consciousness slowly fades, I regret (後悔) my decision,

but it was already too late...

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The sentence ends with シンくんに or ‘Shin-kun ni’, which means ‘by Shin-kun’ but the verb is omitted. Worst case scenario would be ‘killed by’, but other options like ‘injured by’, or ‘captured by’ are also valid, so it’s all up to personal interpretation. 

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<-[ Maniac 07 ] [ Maniac 09 ] ->

[bonketh]

|Madness Combat Stuff-|

´ˎ˗beep beep- hello again- so uh- i decided to do a thing with the bois patching they’re s/o up after they got injured-

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|✎Fandom|:『Madness Combat』

|✎Characters Used|: 『Hank;Sanford;Deimos』

|✎TW: 『cur s i n g - ? possible gore-?』

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

⊱┊Hank ´ˎ˗

“Hank, i said i was fine.” You repeat for the 47th time, sighing as you watched you’re lover frantically walk around, an arm full of bandages and other things. Hank whipped his head towards you, shaking his head as he continued gathering medical essentials.

You frown, crossing you’re arms as you leaned back against the wall. You’re leg was propped up against a box. You had tripped while walking, and kinda- fell on a sharp rock- and scratched you’re leg up pretty badly.

Hank placed down all the things he had in his arms next to you, gently placing his hand under you’re leg to raise it up slightly. You hissed, looking away. Sure, it wasn’t anything major, but it still hurt like hell.

Hank grabbed some things to clean you’re wound first, pressing the bottle of alchohol(?) onto a clean rag, and began cleaning around the cut. You winced, biting you’re lip as Hank cleaned the cut.

Hank tried his best not to hurt you further. After he was finished with cleaning and disenfecting you’re wound, he began wrapping you’re leg with the bandages. After that, he made sure you weren’t injured any where else, and pulled you into a hug.

You sighed, gently patting his back as you hugged him back, thanking him. Hank then pulled away, and signed, ‘Be careful next time, you clutz.’ with his hands. You smile, laughing abit. “Alright, alright, i get it.” You say, carefully sliding off of the table you were seated on.

Hank made a small ‘tut’ noise, and scooped you up gently, holding you close to him as he walked to the couch, laying down with you still in his arms. You cuddled up to him, smiling softly as you nuzzled his neck.

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⊱┊Sanford ´ˎ˗

You fell off of a child’s bike you and Deimos found.

That’s literally it.

You scraped you’re knee up, and Sanford flipped out-

“[Y/N] HOLY SHI- WHAT DID YOU DO-” Sanford exclaimed, rushing over to you. You just gave him a smile. “I fell off of a bike.” You state, shrugging. Sanford frowned. “[Y/n], you’re knee is.. leaking blood everywhere.. you have bruises, and scrapes.. C’mon, let’s go patch you up..” Sanford muttered, rambling as he grabbed you’re hand.

“So.. i guess i’ll.. stay here?” Deimos called out as he watched Sanford drag you to a room. “O-alright then.” Deimos muttered, awkwardly standing in the center of the living room.

Sanford sat you down on a chair, rummaging through a cabinet. You sigh, leaning back against the chair as you waited for Sanford to finish grabbing what he needed.

“Can you put you’re leg up here?” Sanford asked, knudging a small stool towards you’re legs. You nod, lifting you’re leg with the scraped knee onto the stool, shifting abit.

“I knew something like this would happen- why was i dumb enough to let you and Deimos go out together-?” Sanford mumbled to himself as he cleaned and patched you’re knee up, along with the minor scrapes.

“Think next time.” You say, pointing at you’re head as you sent Sanford a grin. Sanford stared up at you, frowning. “Seriously-?” He huffed, shaking his head as he stood up.

“Ah, thanks,” You tell him, standing up. Sanford smiled, grasping you’re hand as you stood up. “San, i can get up by myself. It’s just some scrapes.” You mumble, a stoic expression on you’re face.

Sanford shrugged. “Eh, still.” He responded, walking with you to the living room.

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⊱┊Deimos ´ˎ˗

“Oh my god, [Y/n], check out that bike man-” Deimos whisper-shouted, tapping you’re shoulder. You glanced away from what you were doing. “huh-” You mumble, blinking.

Deimos stretched his arm out, pointing to the child’s bike sitting in the corner of a demolished building. “..Seems fishy..” You say. “Now that you mention it.. It..- kinda does.” Deimos said.

After a couple minutes of silence, you and Deimos look at eachother. “Let’s go get it-” The both of you shouted, rushing over to the completely normal looking bike in the normal demolished building.

“YOO DEIMOS CHECK IT OUT-” You shouted, sitting on the child’s bike. “I t ‘ s s o t i n y -” Deimos squeaked, crouching down as he stared at the bike. “It even has one of those bell things-” You gasp, ringing the bell.

Deimos snorted. “You should totally go ride it off of a platform or something-” He suggested. “Like some kind of stunt-?” You say, raising a brow. Deimos nodded. “Lemme go make a make-shift ramp real quick-” He said, hurriedly running around to find something that would be used as a great ramp.

After a couple of minutes, Deimos had built a (crappy) ramp. “Done!” He exclaimed, grinning. You smile, and push the kid’s bike back, far enough where you could get a head start.

Then, you start peddling forward. “HAHA- You look StuPID-” Deimos wheezed, covering his face as he watched you ride up the horribly built ramp. “Aaaaaannnddd... oh.. ow..” Deimos muttered, wincing.

You didn’t fly off the ramp like you hoped you would. Instead, you fell on you’re bottom, scraping you’re knee as you went down-

Deimos helped you up, dusting you off. “..Let’s so not tell Sanford or Hank about this-” You whisper, making Deimos nod his head. “It was worth it though-” Deimos whispers back, grinning.

...

“Let me try again-”

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he r e - hopefully this isn’t too bad. if there’s any typos, am sorry :,]

[im-pok]

Just for fun (and to make these easier to find) I have made a compilation of JSRF quotes!

I did find the quotes from this video by RisingSonic17 on YouTube. I do suggest watching it as it gives more context to the lines:

Keep in mind that some interactions may be missing, as I have never played JSRF and may be unaware of some interactions. Characters and their quotes appear in chronological order according to the video.

Corn:

"This is the GG's Garage. Hey, where's our pizza? Huh? You're not the pizza guy? Oh, you're here to join the GG's, eh? Heh... Tell you what. Find Gum. She's the one you wanna talk to. Just get close to her and pull the 'Right Trigger'. Got it?"

"Why don't you talk to her now?"

"Now, just 'cause you're new don't mean you can act like a big baby. The police are tightening up here, especially since the Rokkaku took over the police force. I know we look crazy 'n all, but even we know to pick our fights. So don't mess things up for the rest of us, got it?"

"Roboy's training changes as your skill level changes, so be on the lookout."

"I had a feeling Poison Jam would have their hideout in the sewers beneath Rokkaku-dai Heights. This is it... looks like the time to throw down has finally come."

"Man, those Poison Jam freaks are out of control. I say we start on Chuo Street and cover everything to Rokkaku-dai Heights and 99th Street in our graffiti. Chuo Street is probably the best place to start."

"Roboy told you, right? If you find a Mystery Tape, you gotta check the GG-notebook. It'll tell you where to find the Graffiti Souls in the area."

"Where the hell is Yoyo? Maybe he freaked out and skipped town? I'm sure he's alright. But we gotta take care of those Immortals. They've been walkin' around like they own the place. We gotta go and cover up all their graffiti."

"I'll send those Immortals back to the grave as many times as I need to!"

"We'll stop those Noise Tanks!"

Gum:

"Poison Jam knows something about Yoyo. I know they do."

"Damn! Punk, I'll get you for that!"

"The fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

"Here they come. The crazies from the Golden Rhinos. Concentrate, and watch your back. These guys ain't no joke."

"We gotta protect the streets. That's not a choice. We can't let these fools just waltz in and take over."

"The real enemy is your own fear. Remember that."

"So you're the cat that wants to join us, huh? I don't know where you're from, but the streets are tough. Real tough. Let's see what you're made of. We'll start you off nice and slow. Let's see how much air you can grab. Press the "A Button" to jump."

"Dogenzaka Hill is GG territory. I heard there's some headphone wearin' freak creepin' up here. If I could just find him, I'd show him what's up...."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"There are a couple of places in Shibuya Terminal where you can get on the roof of some buildings. You can get there by jumping from a Grind. You should check it out. Who knows what you'll find up there? When you're looking for something, the best place to start is the Map. You can see it by pressing the START button."

"The area of 99th Street is built around a tower that has a bunch of places to Grind. Definitely check that place out. There are also telephone poles to Grind and billboards to Wallride... the most important thing is to just try everything out. Oh, and don't forget to check the map by pressing the START button. That should give you some helpful hints"

"We actually found Roboy in a dumpster. Corn fixed him up real nice."

"I've been lost in the severs before. Its kinda crazy in there, but as long as you keep moving up, you'll be ok."

"Yoyo just can't chill and stay out, can he? He'll be back soon, I'm sure. I heard the Immortals hang out in the skyscraper district or something..."

"Actually, they say Roboy is actually a Noise Tank prototype. Don't tell him that though, ok? We don't wanna make him cry or nothin'. In any case, we're gonna get those damn Noise Tanks."

Yoyo:

"Those tracks should connect Sky Dinosaurian Square to the edge of the skyscraper district..."

"I hear that Poison Jam's woman leader has been showin' her face in town."

"Man, the Rhinos gotta be pissed off!"

"Shibuya Terminal is in a state of panic. I really wanna stay out of this, but we gotta go over there and take care of business."

"Don't use your eyes. Just try to feel it, ya know?"

"Graffiti has the power to wake up the energy that's asleep in the streets of Tokyo. The Rokkaku Group... the police... they don't know what's up. So let's just cover this whole place in art, yo."

"Yo, you know that dude Hayashi from the Rokkaku police force? That guy is one messed up dude. He's a complete psycho. Watch out for him."

"I heard through the grapevine that some weird-lookin' girl's been hangin' out at Rokkaku-dai Heights."

"So you think Poison Jam is after us?"

"We gotta get the Doganzaka Hill goddess statue that Poison Jam took. We better hurry, or things are gonna get real ugly."

Beat:

"Anything go down while I was gone?"

"I've always thought that thing in Shibuya Terminal was nasty lookin' anyway! Let's do a little redecoration."

"Sometimes, you just gotta get moving or else nothin's gonna get done, yo.

"Hey, I've heard of you. You're one of the GG's, huh? Tell you what... I'll race you. If I can beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, then this place belongs to me. Got it?"

"Hope you won't regret that."

"Shibuya Terminal? Now that you mention it, there was this huge guy wandering around there... And fishy graffiti? That sounds familiar, but I didn't really look close enough to see if the graffiti that the fool was paintin' actually looked like a fish or nothin'."

"Hey. Is it true Poison Jam used to cause trouble in Chuo Street under a different name?"

"Rapid 99 of 99th Street. They don't show their faces in public very often. Some say Rapid 99 and Poison Jam are sworn enemies because something big went down a while back. I don't know the details, though. A friend of mine told me that the girls in Rapid 99 are real lookers. I just think he was too scared of 'em to say otherwise. In any case, it ain't gonna be easy to find 'em."

"You meet Rapid 99 yet?"

"Noise Tanks? Never heard of 'em. But we gotta find Yoyo. I'll go through the sewers and check out Kiboganoka Hill."

"Those Immortals really get on my nerves..."

"Crazy stuff is going down all over town! Looks like it's time for a little clean up... GG's style!"

Combo:

"Time to get serious."

"This kid's kinda funny."

"This time we should be able to tell if it's the real one or the fake Yoyo just by talkin' to him, right?"

"That crazy guy?! What're you talkin' about? He looks nothing like me. Besides, we don't got time to deal with that fool. Remember? The Golden Rhinos??"

"Well, they told us to come. Don't look like we got any choice."

"There are some things that you can only feel when you're out in the streets, you know?"

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. I'm guessin' it was you... Its on! If you loose, you're gonna be answerin' to me from now on, punk!"

"You think you can do this too? Let's see it!"

"Man, you're not all that. Here, I'll show you one more time."

"The deep end of the sewers is closed off because it's contaminated. At least, that's what I heard..."

"Hey, why you gotta go out and get a dog?! There's only one thing I hate more than dogs, and that's goldfish."

"I heard Rapid 99 used to run under a leader named Cube..."

"Thing that ticks me off most is, the Immortals ain't worth all this talk and trouble. I wonder if they got somethin' to do with Yoyo's disappearance?"

"There's a bunch of real big guys with real big attitudes causin' a big scene over on Highway Zero. Maybe they might know something about the Noise Tanks. Man, where the hell is Yoyo?!"

Rynth:

"What is UP with Yoyo, anyway?!"

"Hey, Graffiti Souls are a big commodity, right?"

"I don't care if it's a golden rhino or a blue hippo, I'll send 'em right back to the zoo where they belong."

"What's their master plan? I mean, the Golden Rhinos don't seem like their just out here to run the streets, you know what I'm sayin'?" (This quote was spelled like this in game. From my knowledge it should be "they're just out here...")

"Here comes Gouji. Let's end this."

"Did you get all the Graffiti Souls? We still got a full laundry list of things to take care of, you know."

"Hehehe... So this is your hideout."

"Poison Jam are... kinda cute!"

"Is it just me, or does Captain Hayashi not look like he eats his breakfast?"

Poison Jam:

"I don't think Yoyo's that kind of a person."

"I think hes hiding something."

"This feels like a trap. Be careful."

"Someone's after DJ-K?! You sure about that?!"

"Gouji Rokkaku is kinda interesting. But, I think he went a little too far this time..."

"I love everything about Tokyo... even the things I hate."

"Hur hur hur. You want to get rid of us, don't you? Nothing in life is free. You gotta work for it. Beat us in this race and we won't mess with you anymore."

"Har har har!! I told ya'll you were a bunch of wussies!"

Rapid 99:

"ghahah! Next thing you know, you will be all crying like a baby."

"If you can win a flag battle against us, I'll tell you where Poison Jam' s hideout is."

"Suit yourself."

Garam:

"I won't hold back."

"Hey. Keep it real."

"There's this lightning-quick girl over at Kiboganoka Hill. Dunno if she's still there. But man, I gotta say, I'm really trippin' out over Yoyo missin' and all."

"When it comes down to it, the Immortals are just dried up mummies, man. I bet they all nasty under those bandages."

Boogie:

"The Noise Tanks might look strong, but they're like cheap action figures! Just run into them and they fall apart! Oh yeah, that girl from the stadium... I heard she's been lookin' for us. You seen her yet?"

"Aww man..."

"The fortified residential zone... it's directly attached to the underground sewers. Man. I don't like that place at all."

"Is that dude in black even human? My heart's pounding... I don't know why."

"You're never as good as you can be! Don't slack off!"

"Y'all are crazy!"

Jazz:

"This doesn't look good."

"Alright. Stay cool."

"Yeah.... we were a little too laid back this time, I think."

"The fortified residential zone... hey, why don't we pick numbers to decide who goes?"

"It's about time the Rhinos brought things up a notch. We better be ready to get real serious too."

"What the hell IS that big thing, anyway? But, you better watch out for that fool in black..."

"If you get a "Jet" in the Trials, you can even use people who aren't here to take out into the streets."

"You're one of the GG's, right? Then tell this fool that they got the wrong girl! They think I'm one of you guys! So, they dragged me out here and looked what's happened to me!!"

"Hurry up! Tell him that I'm not a GG!!"

Noise Tanks:

"Hey, you're that GG that helped me out! Thanks for that man. Say... there's something that I've been wondering since then. You wanna find out who's the fastest? I KNOW I can beat you. Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright. Fine. See ya."

"I'll get 'em good no matter what!"

"The more worked up we get about this, the harder it'll be to find what we're lookin' for."

"There's somethin' not right about the way the Golden Rhino's are actin'."

"Why are those Golden Rhinos going after the Radio station? Well, make sure to be on the lookout for Captain Psychopath."

"We gotta save DJ-K! I can't stand listening to this music anymore!"

"If this town could talk, what poetry it would speak..."

"Ready?"

"Practice all you want, it will not make a difference."

"It is not over yet. Prepare yourselves."

"Heh... Go on. Fight!"

"Are you ready?"

Special interactions:

"Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you practice."

Slate:

"Dude. I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Hmph. What a bore."

"My sources tell me that the Noise Tanks and the Rokkaku Group are in this together. Be careful."

"So is that Clutch guy in with Rokkaku too? Or is he just a little punk?"

"I'm about ready."

"The Golden Rhinos are really startin' to get on my nerves..."

"I got better things to do than play house with Gouji Rokkaku, but man, that big ugly thing has GOT to go."

"Graffiti Souls' sole purpose is to be sought out."

Clutch:

"You're looking for that kid, Yoyo, right? Tell ya what, if you go out and get some Graffiti Soul points... Hey! Wait a sec, you've already got quite a few. Lemme see those... Sucka! Thanks for the Graffiti Souls! See ya around!"

"Hah, hah! I look forward to it!"

"I dunno, but I just don't get what's going on here. Heh..."

"This Gouji Rokkaku dude is pretty funny!"

"Haaaahaha! Tokyo ain't half bad!"

Cube:

"If you can beat me at my own game, I'll leave you alone."

"Suit yourself."

"The fortified residential zone... Unless you're absolutely sure of your skills, you should stay away from that place."

"I've dealt with the Golden Rhinos once before. If you don't take them seriously, you're as good as dead."

"I can't stand even looking at that thing. Its just so... so... damn ugly!"

"Yeah. You just have to try everything with an open mind."

Beat to Corn:

"So you're the leader of the GG's? Heh... How's this sound? If I beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, you and your buddies have to answer to me from now on. If you beat me... well, we'll just see when it happens."

"Huuuh? You're so boooring..."

Talking to Beat in the garage before fighting the police:

"Anyway, I'm ready to rock. But what's up with that pooch, eh? Where did ya pick him up? You sure that's not the leader in disguise? Heh heh. Its only a matter of time before I become the leader of the GG's anyway."

Combo to Gum:

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. Was it you, princess? You've been a bad, bad girl. You've better hit me with everything you've got, 'cause I ain't gonna hold back just because you're a girl!!"

"The cue tone get you all jumpy?"

"You liked that, eh? I'll do it again for you."

Yoyo to Rynth:

"You're... like... you know... yo."

"Where'd you come from?"

Gum to Rynth:

Rynth to Beat:

"Cool. Welcome aboard."

"You kinda... smell weird."

Garam to Boogie:

"Hey. I'm next in command around here, little lady. The name's Garam,"

Combo to Boogie:

"This group is growing bigger every day. Fool just dig me, I guess."

Gum to Boogie:

"So you're the one from Kiboganoka Hill, huh? Well, this is the GG's. What you see is what you get. Just be yourself, you'll be cool."

Garam to Jazz:

"Well, um... I... uh... be cool."

"That freak who's been making all those weird tags... you think he's connected with the Golden Rhinos somehow?"

Boogie to Garam:

"Alright. Stay cool."

Jazz to Garam:

"I feel ya, but I think you should try to chill a bit. Keep it together."

Corn to Clutch:

"What a fool. But the fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

Jazz to Clutch:

"Don't push your luck."

Beat to Clutch:

"You just wanted some attention from us, right? Aww..."

Combo to Clutch:

"Man, you're such a jerk I almost like you."

Garam to Clutch:

"One of these days, I'll get you one-on-one! Just you and me, fool!"

Boogie to Clutch:

"Fine. I'll let you off just this once."

Slate to Clutch:

"Heh... Stay outta trouble."

Corn to Yoyo:

"Long time no see, bro."

Clutch to Yoyo:

"So you're that Yoyo guy, huh? Heh..."

Jazz to Yoyo:

"So, you're the real deal, huh? 'Sup. I'm Jazz."

Combo to Yoyo:

"You gonna go and try to get back into shape, huh?'

Garam to Yoyo:

"Heh... I caused enough havoc for the both of us while you were gone, bro."

Rynth to Yoyo:

"The most unbelievable stuff was happening while you were gone! Hehehe..."

Yoyo to Slate:

"Hey, sorry about all that, yo. My bad. But thanks to those fools, I'm all out of shape now. Maybe I'll go out and cause a little havoc to warm up, yo."

Yoyo to Jazz:

"Man, things have sure gotten busier sice I was last here?"

Gum to Beat:

"That fool dressed in black who's been hanging around Chuo Street... now that I think about it, you guys kinda look alike."

Clutch to Beat:

"In times like this, you won't fall as long as you look where you're going. Heh heh."

Garam to Beat:

"Hey, you know that guy everyone's been saying looks like you? Well, is it you?"

There is some cutscene dialogue missing from these lines. If I can find all the cutscenes, then I'll be sure to add them.

[fandom-obessesive]

I never told you pt 4.

-

A/n: hiiii I’m back:), im really sorry about the time gap, just needed to take some space for myself, also I’m working on redoing part 3 cause I still don’t like it lol, but here’s the final part, I hope you enjoy, if you would like to be on the tag list for any future imagines/oneshots/fanfics, just leave a 👋 below, I also take requests, and I hope you guys have a lovely day.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Word count: 1038

Warning: Obsessive thoughts? Idk I kinda wrote the reader having like a mini thought panic attack based off of what happens in my head sometimes but I feel like that can be harmful to some people so🤷‍♀️

-

Waking up the next morning had definitely been interesting. As nice as having fingers run through your hair was, and as much as you appreciated the forehead kisses every few minutes, you had to say your favorite part was the loud and long stomach growl accompanied by a quiet ‘shut the fuck up’ right after.

Smiling up at him, you opened your eyes and were met with a sheepish smile from Paul.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He said rubbing your arms as you sat up. The temperature difference causing goosebumps to break out across your skin, making you hide back into his arms for warmth, at least, that’s what you told yourself.

“What are you talking about? That’s probably one of the best ways to be woken up” you joked. He rolled his eyes at you hugging you closer to him.

“Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to come meet Sam and Emily today, I’m pretty sure Jared and Kim are going to be there too” you thought for a moment before shrugging.

“Sure, didn’t really have any other plans for today, so why not” You got ready and within 20 minutes you both were in his Jeep, heading to Emily’s.

When you walked in, you were greeted by the smell of muffins. On the way there Paul had warned you not to stare at Emily, along with most of the story behind the accident. Expecting something far worse, you were greeted by a woman with 3 long faded scars down her face, but a smile that seemed to light up the whole room.

She introduced herself and offered you a muffin, after accepting, you had been introduced to Sam, Jared, Kim, and a newly phased Embry. The day had gone smoothly and at one point you found yourself with Emily and Kim in the kitchen with Kim gushing about Jared.

“He’s just so cute, and sweet, I just- uhhh, I’m so excited to spend forever with him. At first I was kinda skeptical about the imprint but after he explained how it's like, the way the shifters find their soulmate, I almost tackled him.” Her and Emily laughed together unaware of the shock that just shot through you.

You vaguely remembered the legends talking about Imprinting but never remember Paul mentioning anything about them. The rest of the evening, that word haunted you, taunted you. Images of someone else coming in and stealing him away from you plagued your mind.

‘He’s going to leave you again’ ‘imprint’ ‘no he’s not, he wouldn’t have told you if he planned on leaving you again’ ‘imprint’ ‘you’re not going to matter to him when he finds his imprint’ ‘imprint’ ‘shut the fuck up, he’s not like that’ ‘imprint’ ‘imprint’ ‘IMPRINT’ ‘HES NOT GOING TO CARE ABOUT YOU’ ‘YOU WONT BE IMPORTANT’ ‘YOURE NOT HIS IMRPINT’ ‘YOU. WON'T. MATTER.’

When dinner was served you sat quietly as your thoughts spiraled. You laughed, and joked, and talked like nothing was wrong. Wanting to enjoy the moments you had with them before you were replaced, you said nothing until you forgot about that awful word. Until it was buried in the back of your mind. He took you home and spent the night, and you cuddled up to each other till you both fell asleep.

-

He stayed the next day wanting to spend as much time with you as possible considering he had patrol later tonight. You sat on his lap with your head on his shoulder, and back to his chest, his arms loosely draped around you. Most of the day was spent being lazy and eating food, more so him than you but eh, what can you do. After relaxing from a laughing fit, you both leaned into the other, simply enjoying the others company.

He nuzzled into your neck making you giggle and shy away, looking up at him, just enough to wear your noses were touching, lips centimeters apart. His eyes bore into yours, everything else seeming to melt away. Glancing down at his lips, he took that as a sign to lean in. You closed your eyes, so close to finally being able to kiss your long time best friend and crush, until.

‘IMPRINT, HE HAS AN IMPRINT.’

You jerked away from him, hiding your face in your hands from embarrassment.

“Shit I’m sorry, I can’t-“ you started

“No I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“

“I just don’t want to lose you-“

“You just want to stay friends and I should respect that-“

“I’m just so scared cause I know one day-“

“You’re my imprint, I need to respect your decision-“

‘You’re my imprint.’

That stopped you in your tracks real quick.

“Woah, woah, wait, what did you just say.” You said turning in his lap, grabbing his face in your hands, making him stop too.

“Say what you just said again.” He looked down for a second, collecting his thoughts.

“You’re...my imprint, I need to respect your decision?” He said unsure.

‘You’re my imprint, you are his imprint, YOU ARE HIS IMPRINT’

“I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You'' you stated, smashing your lips together.

You absolutely melted into each other.

After you pull away, him chasing the kiss, you couldn’t help but to laugh. He looked confused but smiled nonetheless.

“You never told me you imprinted on me dipshit.” You said rubbing your nose against his. He sat up straighter as his eyes widened.

“Wha-wait. I swear to god I did, that day on the cliffs when I showed you I was a shapeshifter, I thought-“ he rambled trying to recount the day, desperately trying to make him telling you about the imprint more than just his imagination. You simply shook your head, the smile never leaving your face.

“I never told you.” He finally stated.

“Nope, not until just now.” You said kissing him again.

‘Imprint, im his imprint’

You smiled again into the kiss, making him do the same, and for the rest of the day you two spend enjoying your new relationship, finally being able to be happy together because he wasn’t going anywhere this time, and for that you could forgive him for being so stupid juuust one more time.

———————————————————————

A/n: I hope you enjoyed my first ever imagine series:) once again if you would like to be on the taglist leave a 👋 down below, even if I don’t respond I will see it! But if you are on the taglist and would like to be taken off, just shoot me a message! I’ll understand, I promise, I’m just awkward lol. Have a great day you guys.❤️

Taglist: @chloe-skywalker @chiefjacob @fangirlanotherjust @jelly-fishy-babie @dillybuggg @britty443 @ineedmorefanfics @lahoete @stylesluxx @dumbbitch-2020 @kettnerjanea @suicidarsi @nowimapotterheat @a-dorky-book-keeper

[the-starless-sky]

BAE x The Cat’s Whiskers / “PRIDE” voice drama track 1

Mob A: Ahh, that was sooo great! So this is the legendary CLUB paradox's live...!

Mob B: The music was good, but the phantom was amazing, wasn't it!? Aah~ it feels like I'm still in a dream!

Mob C: Hey, which one did you vote for?

Mob D: Honestly, I was so lost! Hey, let's come again next time!

Mob C: For sure! We're not heads if we miss this!

_

Yohei: Seriously! I can't accept this. What's so good about that nothing but loud bunch?

Saimon: A loss is a loss. We have to accept it with our mind and body.

Yohei: Hah. You don't even think so yourself.

Ryuu: Don't fight, Boss, Master!

Yohei: It ain't a fight!

Ryuu: Master~ your face’s scary!

Yohei: Shut up.

Ryuu: And Shiki, too! Don’t be sad and gloomy [1]!

Shiki: S-sorry...

Ryuu: Muu... no helping it. At times like this... that’s right! Calisthenics, Shiki!

Shiki: Eh!?

Ryuu: Let’s go~! 1, 2, 3, 4... Come now, Shiki, you have to twist it more!

Shiki: Ouch, ouch, ouch! I can’t do more than this, Ryuu-kun!

Ryuu: Hmm...~ That’s weird... Hmm... If this joint bent here, then...!

Shiki: Stop it, Ryuu-kun! That’s...!

(Shiki bends one of Ryuu’s joints.)

Shiki: Ahh!

Yohei: Oi, oi, don’t break Shiki!

Saimon: Ryuu, it’s not good to force Shiki. Stop it right there.

Ryuu: Eeh~!? Even though it’d feel good after this...!

(Someone knocks the door.)

Saimon: Who is it? Please come in.

(Door opens.)

Anne: Good day, Saimon-sensei! Tonight, too, you’re extremely cool! You were wonderful~

Saimon: Faulkner-kun! And Sugasano-kun, and Yeon-kun. You guys came.

Allen: Yes. Today, we came as B.A.E. Well... it’s something like a courtesy call...

Hajun: Inspecting enemy movements, you can say.

Yohei: Hah! You said it. And? How was our stage?

Hajun: Fufu. Behind the times, it was.

Yohei: Ha? Oi, say that once again.

Hajun: Sigh... don’t make me say it numerous times. I said that it was behind the times, you guys’ music.

Allen: Wha－Hajun!

Anne: You don’t say that when you come to greet someone.

Hajun: I’ll say it clearly, Saimon-sensei... no, Kotonoha and God summer-san. I heard that Quadra-X [2] was a team that even got invited by an overseas fest, but... that was just a story of the past, after all, huh. How unfortunate.

Yohei: Bastard...! Just ‘cause I let a brat like you talk...

Saimon: Yohei. Indeed, that was in the past. In reality, Quadra-X has broken up, after all. However, now that we’ve reunited, there’s also Ryuu and Shiki. Our will and style towards music haven’t changed, but please understand that we’re already a different team.

Ryuu: Yeah, yeah! After all, there’s Sparkly Ryuu-kun and Gloomy Shiki now!

Shiki: I’m... gloomy...?

Yohei: And? Dissin’ us being stale, what about you guys? Just jumping at trends and thinking of yourselves as cutting-edge... ain’t that just child’s play?

Allen: Huh!? What’s with that!?

Anne: Wh－ Allen, not you too! Stop it.

Yohei: Hah! Not even having your own figure and style... there’s no meaning in doing rootless hip hop. Well-bred young masters and ladies should just sing ballads and get spoiled by others.

Allen: You said ‘style’, but isn’t saying ‘fuck off’ to bothersome stuff like customs, standards, and common sense’s what hip hop is!? We’re just spinning the sound we think is cool. The vibes that exists here and now... if you can express it, no matter how it is, we don’t care. We’ll just swallow it, drain it, and make it our sound!

Hajun: You say good things sometimes too, don’t you, Allen. If you only adhere to your own style, losing sight of discourses [3] and fear change and evolution, that’s just fossil music. It’s better to put it in a museum, is it not?

Saimon: Good grief... this is pretty harsh. They’ve got us there, didn’t they, Yohei?

Yohei: Tch.

Anne: Jeez... Both Allen and Hajun is so immature.

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff!

Anne: Ah.

Ryuu: Hmm~? Mm~? Sniff, sniff.

Anne: Whー what!?

Shiki: R-Ryuu-kun! It’s impolite to suddenly smell people like that!

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff! You with long hair, and you with spiky red hair...

Allen: Wh-what?

Ryuu: You guys have the same smell.

Allen: Ahh, that’s Anne’s perfume. He always uses so much it’sー

Anne: Grr!

(Anne punches Allen.)

Allen: It hurts!!! Suddenly punching me like that...! I’m against violence!

Anne: It’s because you’re saying rude stuff.

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff... But, you with mushroom head...

Hajun: Hm? What is it?

Ryuu: You’re being left out, aren’t you.

Hajun: Ha?

Ryuu: Ahh, but it’s not like you’re being bullied or anything. The one who left you out... is yourself, after all.

Hajun: What are you sayingー

Ryuu: Sniffsniffsniffsniffsniff!

Hajun: Oof! Could you please get away from me? You’re a bit close...

Ryuu: Sniff, sniff, sniff... That’s weird... I can’t smell ‘true scent’ coming from you.

Hajun: True scent...?

Ryuu: That’s right. You’re always inside a transparent box... Ah! I see! You don’t want to show anyone anything but your ‘clean self’, do you!

Hajun: ...!

Ryuu: Aha! You’re like a mushroom stuffed in packaging! Ahahaha, ehehehe!

Shiki: Sorry!! Ryuu-kun’s a somewhat peculiar child, so...

Hajun: Ah, no...

Shiki: Come on, Ryuu-kun. Get away from him...!

Ryuu: I wonder why~? But, if you don’t come out of there yourself... one day, you’ll rot... and become an unneeded child.

Hajun: ...Stop screwing around...

Ryuu: Hmm?

Hajun: Stop screwing around!

Ryuu: Uwooah!?

Yohei: Bastard, what are you doing suddenly!?

Ryuu: Ou-ou-ouch, ouch, ouch...!

Shiki: Are you okay, Ryuu-kun...?

Hajun: You... take back your words just now. [4]

Shiki: Words...? What do you mean?

Hajun: Don’t play dumb!! You said it, didn’t you!? That I’m a... ugh...

Allen: Stop it, Hajun! What are youー

Hajun: Shut up!!!

Allen: Ha... jun...?

Hajun: Damn it!*

Anne: Hajun!

(Hajun walks out, smashes the door close.)

Allen: He’s...

Anne: Yeah... he was seriously angry just now, wasn’t he?

Saimon: I’m sorry. Even though you guys took the time to come, somehow it turned into something serious.

Anne: Saimon-sensei...

Saimon: Don’t worry about us, go and run after him quickly.

Anne: Yes. We’re going, Allen.

Allen: Yeah...

(Allen and Anne leaves.)

(Ryuu’s stomach growls.)

Ryuu: Aa~aah, Ryuu-kun’s hungry! Heey, let’s eat Raimen-tei’s char siu ramen without the noodles and go home!

Yohei: This one’s carefree, huh? Oi, Ryuu.

Ryuu: Huh?

Yohei: What did you say to him just then?

_

(Tinging sound of ice in a glass.)

Saimon: Sigh. “Behind the times”... we just received quite a severe preemptive punch, didn’t we.

Yohei: Shit... ‘cause of that, I can’t get drunk at all.

(Yohei pours more drink into his glass.)

Saimon: It’s better to stop there. Trap reactions get more intense if you drink heavily, after all.

Yohei: I know.

Saimon: Shiki... has started, hasn’t he.

Yohei: Yeah. I laid him on the bed at the second floor. Ryuu’s more or less looking after him, but... Honestly, I can’t stand seeing Shiki’s ‘that’.

Saimon: Trap reaction... I wonder, just what is it that Shiki’s fighting?

Yohei: That kinda thing... nobody would want to let anyone touch the wounds in the deepest part of themselves.

Saimon: Yeah... but...

Yohei: Even so, Shiki chose the path to do it [5] with us. It’s his own resolution.

Saimon: Yeah.

Yohei: All of us is like that. If we use our metals, one day we might lose everything and die. Even so, if we don’t do it, we’ll die. Haha, jeez, what unfortunate livin’ beings. [6]

_

Shiki: Ah, ah...!! Ahh!! I’m sorry, I’m sorry...!! Aah...!! AAAH...!!!

Ryuu: Shiki, today too you seem in max pain...~ ‘Til how many hours left will this continue?

Shiki: Ah... it’s my fault, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...!!

(Shiki clutches Ryuu’s hand.)

Ryuu: O-o-ouch!! If you grip Ryuu-kun’s hand with such monstrous strength, it’ll fall off!!!

Shiki: Ah...! Ryuu-kun...?

Ryuu: Oh!! You noticed!

Shiki: Ah... I-I’m sorry... I, again... When I saw the nightmare... did you keep holding my hand?

Ryuu: Yeah~! If not, Shiki’ll scream out ‘waah, waah!’ after all~

Shiki: Sorry... I’m always troubling you, don’t I?

Ryuu: It’s okay, ‘cause it’s interesting!

Shiki: Huh? Interesting?

Ryuu: After all, no matter how much Ryuu-kun uses his medal, he’s never had trap reaction, right?

Shiki: You have special constitution, after all. Honestly, I’m a bit jealous...

Ryuu: It’s boring.

Shiki: Eh?

Ryuu: After all, Ryuu-kun’s the only one left out.

Shiki: Ah... that’s not...

Ryuu: Sometimes, Ryuu-kun thinks... not having a trap reaction definitely means I couldn’t build a connection with anyone.

Shiki: Ryuu-kun...

Ryuu: Ah! You still have a fever? You do, right!?

Shiki: Ah, yeah...

Ryuu: Then, here!

Shiki: Ah!! What is it!?

Ryuu: A live octopus! If you put it on your forehead, it’s cold and feels good, right!?

Shiki: W-woah... it felt like it moved just now...!?

Ryuu: Yeah, it’s still alive, after all.

Shiki: Alive...!? Gross, take it off me quickly...!! A-ah, it hurts!

Ryuu: That’s no good, no good! You have to put it on your forehead, or your fever won’t go down~! Even though I bought it for you...

Shiki: But...!! It smells fishy... and it’s slimy... it’s gross...!!

Ryuu: Do your best, Octopus!! Such out Shiki’s fever!! If you can’t do it, I’ll eat you~!! Oh, I’ll still eat you even if you could, though, ahahaha!!

Shiki: Uhh... sobs...

_

(Yohei plays “Faith” intro on the piano.)

Saimon: That song... in the past, Tsubaki used to play it there a lot, didn’t she?

Yohei: Yeah... for some reason, I wanted to play it in a while.

Saimon: What do you think of B.A.E?

Yohei: They’re cheeky brats.

Saimon: Haha. But when I see them, somehow I’m reminded of the past.

Yohei: Pft.

Saimon: Yohei, Tsubaki, and I... that time when we were young, fearless, and just rushed towards our ideal music.

Yohei: Well, that young lady’s a nice woman. 

(Yohei plays “Faith” intro again.)

Yohei: She’s kinda similar to Tsubaki-san, isn’t she? Their appearance’s entirely different, but like... the atmosphere, you know.

Saimon: That’s... true. But, Faulkner-kun’s not a woman, you know?

(Yohei stops playing the piano.)

Yohei: Eh...? He’s... a man?

Saimon: Fufu. Did I disappoint you?

Yohei: No way. As long as I have hip hop, it’s enough.

Saimon: Connecting people with music... do you think we can do that?

Yohei: We have no other choice, for that person who fell midway in chasing after her dream... [7] that’s the only atonement we, the people left behind, could ever do.

Saimon: Atonement... huh. I’m glad you’re here, Yohei.

Yohei: Huh?

Saimon: After I lost Tsubaki and ran to university, Yohei, you stayed in this shop and played the piano whilst waiting for me.

Yohei: It’s just that unlike you, I don’t have anywhere else to go to.

Saimon: Thank you, for doing music with me.

Yohei: W-what are you saying, after such a long time!? Disgusting!

Saimon: That’s my true feelings, though.

Yohei: Plus, there’s Ryuu and Shiki now. Quadra-X’s broke up already. The Cat’s Whiskers are us nowー

Ryuu: Hey, hey!!! Do we have a takoyaki maker!?

Yohei: Are you stupid? We’re a jazz bar! There’s no way we have that in hereー

Saimon: We do.

Yohei: We do!?

Ryuu: Yaaaaay!!! Well then, after Shiki’s fever go down and Boss and Master’s trap reaction ends, let’s have a takoyaki party!! Takoyaki party!!

Yohei: Pft. So bothersome.

Saimon: Haha.

Ryuu: Delicious takoyaki made together with everyone ♪ Run after it ‘till the ends of the takoyaki galaxy, with an aftertaste  ♪ Crunchy outside, and fluffy inside, and steam coming out of your mouth  ♪ Yeah, it’s done! ♪

Notes

[1] Jimejime also means damp and humid.

[2] クアドラエックス (kuadora ekkusu) - Quadra-X seems to be Yohei and Saimon (and probably also Tsubaki’s) unit in the past. I don’t know the stylization though, so I just go by what I think it is.

[3] Honestly not so sure what he meant, but probably it’s like not wanting to question tradition and stuff like that?

[4] Hajun’s always using the proper and formal ‘anata’, but here he uses the informal and pretty rude ‘omae’!!

[5] ‘Do it’, as in form a unit and perform with a phantometal.

[6] Inga na ikimon - as in living creatures with unfortunate fate/destiny.

[7] Yohei actually didn’t specify who (he just said ‘that person’ and ‘in the middle of dream’), but from the flow of the conversation, feels like it can’t be anyone else but Tsubaki...

*Thank you @spooderhearts22 for the input! 

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Okay but now that Mipha has reeled Link in, what if she needs to consult her wingman/bff Kohga for sex tips??

One, fuck you for saying 'reeled him in', thats hilarious. Two, this can only end in total disaster. Let's go!

“Ah, don’t act like we didn’t catch that, you little guppy you!”

Kohga had invited Mipha over for their weekly tea, and she was escorted by none other than Link. Knight who wielded the Master sword, silent hero, and Mipha’s boyfriend. As in, hand holding, snack sharing, and as he just saw, smooching basis. Mipha covered the lower half of her face, blushing up quite the storm as she walked into their base. Kohga nudged her shoulder as he walked her inside, practically giddy to see his little fishy so happy.

“It’s n-nothing! Really it wasn’t!”

“He planted a big, fat smooch, right on your fishy face! I saw it! Sooga saw it too, right?”

Sooga, as ever, clung to his Master’s hip. He nodded.

“Plus your lipstick is just a pinch smudged, your highness.”

Mipha checked her lipstick, as if she was caught doing something so lewd. Kohga pulled her chair out for her once they sat down at the dining table, chuckling as he took his own seat.

“I remember MY first boyfriend. I was no worse than you were. All giddy and excited. Though, my first boyfriend wasn’t as cute as yours, so hats off.”

Kohga motioned for one of the blade masters to bring over their tea and afternoon crepes. Her favorite dessert, made from fresh whipped cream, wildberries, and some fleet lotus seed sauce to top it all off. She nodded in thanks, ever the polite thing.

“Well, thank you, Kohga. It’s very sweet of you, helping me talk to Link. I think I’d stil be pining, if not for you.”

Kohga waved his hand, taking a sip of his tea.

“Eh, you would’ve gotten him eventually. You’re a cute little thing, he’d have to be blind. Or gay. Kinda thought it’d be the second one if anything, but hey.”

Mipha chuckled at that, helping herself to a bite of the crepe. He could tell she loved his cooking, given the way her eyes just seemed to light up. Kohga honestly and truly loved seeing her so happy. Though, he could sense she was...distracted. He took another sip of his drink.

“Alright, what’s eating you?”

“Pardon?”

“Something’s on your mind. Talk to me. Is it Zelda? I can take care of her.”

Mipha shook her head wildly.

“No! No no no, it’s not worth killing her over!”

Kohga held his hands up a bit in defense.

“I MEANT setting her up with a date. Jeez, murder isn’t the FIRST thing I go to. Even though I do it with style, don’t I Sooga?”

“Yes, Master Kohga.”

Mipha sighed in relief.

“Oh, good. Well, no, it’s not Zelda. We’ve talked about this, and she said she was happy for us. Even though she looked saddened, I can tell her feelings are true and sincere.”

“So...what’s the problem, then?”

Mipha held onto her tail fin, hiding her face in it. Whatever it was, it was clearly something embarrassing. Kohga motioned for her to get on with it, and she groaned a bit.

“Well...Link and I...are planning to...uhm…”

“Make love?”

Sooga interjected. Mipha nodded, practically burning up in her seat. Kohga threw his head back in laughter, smacking the table.

“Seriously?! Thought you guys were gonna be total prudes and WAIT! I fail to see a problem. Is it your dad? He seems like a real ‘wed before bed’ kinda guy.”

Mipha shook her head.

“While father does think like that, it is not his body he is offering. It is mine.”

Kohga nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his tea. His own dad was kinda like that, not that Kohga ever cared.

“Good on you! Proud of you, lil’ Princess. Though, the problem is what exactly?”

Mipha fumbled with her hands, before forcing herself to come out with it.

“I’ve never...done that before. I’ve only ever kissed one other man before, and that was one time. I’m...worried I won’t please him. So, since you and Sooga are very comfortable with one another, I was wondering...if you’d have advice for my first time?”

Kohga sat there for a second, deep in thought. Sure he acted goofy here and there, but Mipha was trusting him with something HUGE. The first time was one you don’t forget, ESPECIALLY when it was someone you really, really liked. In Kohga’s opinion, the vibe of the first time could make or break a relationship. She was coming to HIM for this, and it wasn’t something he was going to take lightly. He polished off his tea, before nodding at her.

“Okay. First things first, stuff you gotta tell ANYONE for their first time. You know, don’t get pressured into anything you don’t want. Don’t expect something wild and perfect, you guys are BOTH learning and exploring. And have fun with it! It’s supposed to be a fun thing, so it’s okay to laugh, to mess up, to just do things wrong. Long as it’s comfortable for you.”

While his words were true, he could tell Mipha was expecting way more. He probably just recycled some stuff she’d heard from ANYONE on this subject. He looked around, as if he didn’t want to be caught telling her some kind of secret.

“But...if you want something more...helpful than that, I can give you a little tip.”

Mipha’s eyes lit up in interest. Kohga motioned for Sooga to sit down next to him.

“Put your hair down for me, imma show her something.”

Sooga looked puzzled, as well as Mipha, but he obeyed, untying his hair, and lightly shaking it to help it settle. Mipha was clearly a bit surprised by seeing his hair down, as it wasn’t a common thing for a yiga to do, but that didn’t matter right now.

“Okay, so I know Link’s type, completely. He’s the strong, silent pretty boy. I can tell he likes his hair played with by just that alone, but have you SEEN all the way he styles it? This is a trick he’s gonna love, guaranteed. Now, flat hand,you’re gonna run your fingers through his scalp, like so.”

“Master Kohga, I don’t think it’s app-”

The second he felt Kohga’s fingers run through his scalp, he silenced himself.

“Then you make a fist. Don’t YANK, but have a little bit of ‘oomph’ in your pull. Watch.”

Kohga ran his fingers through his scalp again, before grabbing a good chunk of his hair, and pulling it back, making Sooga’s head fall back. Sooga’s fingers gripped the chair below him.

“See? Sooga here loves that shit. Don’t be afraid to get a nice handful, really shrunch up some of that pretty hair. Now this is something SOOGA likes, but you should test it out on Link, I’m pretty sure he’s just as much of a slut as Sooga is.”

Sooga was about to retort against such a claim, when Kohga moved his mask up, just enough for his lips, and started to nibble at his ear. His teeth ran along his earlobe, slowly and steadily. It made Sooga visibly squirm in his seat, and had Mipha not been staring at them, aghast, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from moaning. It was so slow, so careful, so FIRM. He never wanted Kohga to stop. He pulled away however, finally letting go of his hair. Kohga put his mask back down, shrugging.

“Pair that up with some neck nibbles too, I can pretty much guarantee he’ll be fawning over you. That’s my advice. Okay, you can go now Sooga.”

“I...uhm...think I need to stay sitting down, for just a moment.”

“God, you’re easy.”

Kohga rolled his eyes. Mipha could only gawk as the man next to him sat there, legs closed, and mask into his shaky palm. Mipha opened her mouth to speak, but found her words unable to escape. Kohga chuckled, shaking his head.

“I know how to treat boys. You gotta have a nice, firm hand. In every case. Either way, you got it, Mipha. He clearly likes you for you. Right Sooga?”

Sooga gave a meek nod, still lost in the sensation of his hair in his master’s clutches. 

Suffice to say, Link was in for quite the surprise.

[lu-undy]

Chapter 8 - SBT

Here it is :)

"G'day, mate."

"Oh hey M! What brings you here? Need somethin'?" 

Mundy had found Eddy in his shop. 

"Nah, not really. I mean I don't need stuff so far. I just wanted to apologise." 

The short man behind the counter raised surprised eyes to his tall friend. 

"Why would you apologise?"

"I was a bit harsh with you maybe. You didn't deserve any of that." 

"What're you talkin' about? Nah man, it's fine!"

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah! Though uh, I'm glad you remember where my shop is, eh?" Eddy said and smiled wide. 

"Yeah, don't worry, I can't forget. Roight, better get going. I got stuff to do." Mundy answered and walked back to the front door of the hunting equipment shop. 

"Hey, M?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Good luck, but you won't need it!"

The Aussie nodded with a smile. 

"Thanks, mate." 

Back in his van, Mundy took a deep breath and turned the key in. He heard his campervan roar decidedly and started driving around in town. He had a few names who he knew could help. The first of them was a certain Phil Baxter. The man had ears everywhere for animal goods circulating around. Mundy drove to the pier. Phil had a small import/export business. Most of his activity had to do with bringing to Australia lamb derived products from New Zealand. But, there always was a but, it happened that sometimes his crates contained more than mere lamb chops… 

The Aussie parked his van and walked to the building next to the port where the seagulls flew by the dozen, trying to see if this tall man had anything they could snatch off of him. Mundy entered and took the stairs to the third floor. He went through a corridor, crossing paths with men in suits and ties as much as local fishermen. He finally stopped in front of a door and gave a short few knocks. 

"Busy!" The voice answered. 

Mundy pushed the door anyway and looked at the desk. Phil was giving his back to him, on his office chair and spun around to face him. 

"I said I'm bu--oh, bugger… I'll have to call you back." He hung up the phone and Mundy stepped in, shutting the door behind him. 

"Mundy, is that really you…?" The man in the light blue shirt and dark blue trousers and tie stood up and went to him.

"Yeah, it is."

"My God! How long has it been!" 

They exchanged a dear friendly hug. 

"Quite a few years now, I think." Mundy answered.

"More like a decade! What brings you here? Oh, and sit down of course, want anything to drink? Coffee? Tea?" 

"Coffee would be nice." Mundy answered as he sat down.

"Alright, just a second…" Phil resumed his seat and took his phone. He quickly composed a single digit number. "Vanessa? Yeah, 2 coffees in my office. One for me and one just black. You still like your coffee black, right?" He looked at Mundy who nodded. "Alright then. Ok, thanks." 

He hung up and raised his eyes and his attention to his guest. 

"Alright then, to what do I owe the pleasure?" 

Mundy removed the hat off his head and lowered his head.

"Uhm… I guess I should start by explainin' m'self a bit. I kinda disappeared for a bit of time." 

Phil listened carefully. 

"I uh… Things happened that meant that I couldn't continue doing what I used to. So I just stopped and uh… Yeah, well, I stopped everything. Sorry I didn't say it properly or anythin'."

"Whatever happened must have been pretty serious, eh?" Phil asked but before his guest could answer, Vanessa the secretary entered and put the two coffee cups on the desk. "Thanks Vanessa." 

She nodded, her eyes never leaving her boss's guest and exited. 

"Alright then, that's your cup, and that's mine." 

"Thanks, mate." 

"No problem. So yeah, go on…" 

Mundy took a sip and resumed his speech. 

"Yeah, I stopped everythin' and went off the radars." 

"Took a break?" Phil asked. 

"Kind of. I thought I wouldn't step in again but…" 

"But your sitting here in front of me and sharing a coffee means that you had to take a break off your break, hm?" 

Mundy nodded. 

"Yeah. Look, it's been ten years and I disappeared without sayin' anything which I guess makes me the worst kind of professional partner you could think of."

"But?" Phil anticipated. 

"But I need your help like before." Mundy said, embarrassed.

"What is it you need?" 

The tall man raised his eyes to the office worker. 

"Why the surprised look?" Phil asked. 

"I didn't expect you to accept helping."

"You think I'd hold a grudge or somethin'? Mundy, it's been ten years! I thought you'd got caught and died!"

"What?!" 

"What else d'you want me to think?! One day you're here, running after God knows who and then radio silence for a decade!" Phil exclaimed and raised his arms to the All-Mighty. Mundy sighed. 

"I-I'm sorry." 

"Mate, I'm just relieved you're not dead. You're doin' Nature's work in this country where no one else cares. If folks understood the importance of what Mother Nature is giving us, if they could understand that they're drawing more than her very breath, if they could see that they're bleedin' her dry, they'd bloody thank you at least."

Mundy shrugged. 

"'m not doin' this for the praise or the applause, mate. Not that I'm gettin' it anyway." 

Phil looked at him gently. 

"I'm bloody well aware. I don't know why you decided to stop and why now you're here in front of me. But if you need me, it'll be like the good old days for me." 

Phil stood up and went around his desk. He extended his hand to his partner. 

Mundy raised his eyes to the hand that was offered to him. 

"So, what d'you say?" 

The Aussie stood up and grasped the hand firmly before Phil hugged him dearly.

"Good to see you again, mate. So nice to see you alive and well…! You haven't changed a bit!"

"Well, I have a few more lines on my face now."

"But still no grey hair, eh? Lucky you!" Phil answered, carding his hair that had barely started turning grey on his temples.  "Alright then…! What d'you need?" 

The office worker regained his seat and faced his friend. 

"Have you heard of 'gators recently?" Mundy asked.

"Alligators?" Phil repeated. 

"Yeah."

"Nah, sorry mate. We've had sharks, snakes, kangaroos, dingoes and countless others but no 'gators… Actually, now that I have the M in front of me, can I ask you somethin'?" Phil looked his friend in the eye. 

"Sure." 

"Alright then." Phil rolled on his chair closer to his friend. "There's been a recent uh… spike let's say, in stuff that we were asked to transport." 

"From Oz? To where?"

"From New Zealand to Oz and, well, from Oz to itself."

"What?!" Mundy asked. "I thought you transported sheep stuff from New Zealand and back?" 

"That was true ten years ago mate. Now we also do internal shippin' within Australia." 

"Oh, wow, had no idea…" Mundy answered. "But yeah, tell me more."

"Basically, a lot of our trucks are hired here and there. It's not something we should be doin' strictly speakin' but as long as the client pays the gas and returns the trucks in good conditions, we're fine." 

"I see."

"Recently, it's not just mine but also the competition's trucks that we've seen drive along, side by side here and there. I've had a few employees tellin' that. Imagine, our trucks and theirs, drivin' side by side, what the hell…?"

Phil took a sip of his coffee. 

"So I thought the competition's been messin' with us. I took the phone here and gave a few calls. Turns out they were under the same impression as us. They were thinking that we were playin' with their nerves! Now, they might be bluffin' but…"

"Don't believe it?" Mundy asked. 

"Nah, not really. Somethin's fishy about it."

"I see. But what's it got to do with me?" 

"Well, they returned the trucks and they were spotless clean but, the other day, I had one of my men sent in one of them and as soon as he stepped in, he started sneezin' like crazy and couldn't breathe."

Mundy's eyebrows jumped up. 

"He's allergic to cats." 

"Cats?" Mundy repeated.

"Yeah." 

"Well" The Aussie chuckled. "What d'you want me to do with that?" 

"I don't know but it all seems to fall a bit too well. First we're asked to get some more things from New Zealand, then the cat's fur, and now you here…"

"Mate, you might be overthinkin' it. I can't possibly see how any of that is related. Alright, you got a bit of a bump in yer business, which is good, right? More means more money, isn't it? And then one of yer men is allergic to cats, hell, even I used to be like that when I was a kid. And besides all that, I'm enquirin' about alligators."

"You might be right…" Phil massaged his own brow with his fingers. "Might need a break." 

"Yeah, 'specially if you've had a lot of work recently." Mundy confirmed. 

"Yeah, nah… I'm really glad to see you back in the business though. I'll let you know if I hear more from your alligators."

"Thanks mate." 

Both stood up and shook hands. Mundy went to the door. 

"Oh wait, I got a new phone number for, y'know, special business. You might use that one if you ever need to see me. Here's the number." 

Phil scribbled it down on a post it note and handed it over to Mundy. 

"Alright. I'll keep that in mind, mate. Thanks. See ya!"

"See ya and stay safe!" 

The Aussie soon found himself in his van again, driving back to town. 

"Roight… If Phil hasn't heard about my 'gators, they can't have left Oz. Not yet. That's good. I still have my chances." 

He looked through his rear view mirror quickly and continued driving. 

"Then, next stop is to the usual reserves. The one to the west has swamps and water facilities so if the gators were caught, they should be there." 

He had worked with them before too. He just hoped they would remember him.

The Australian drove decidedly for a good hour or so. He felt a bit nervous as he came closer to the reserve. He was ashamed of his own self. Phil thought he was dead. Was he wrong? 

Biologically speaking, of course not. The man breathed and was in good health. But in his mind, not really. Mundy had been much closer to dead than he was to being alive back then. But could anyone blame him, after everything he had gone through? 

He didn't have the time to think further as the van stopped in front of the reserve. He stepped out and walked to the door where he knocked. 

"Oh, hello there, how can I help?" 

Mundy removed his hat and lowered his head in front of the lady at the reception.

"I uh… I was wonderin' if Matt was still workin' here?" 

"Yeah he is. Do you need me to call him?" 

"Yes please. Uhm, tell him that M is at the door, will ya?" 

"Sure!" 

The blond lady took her walkie-talkie and said. 

"Matt, there's a gentleman to see you here." 

There was a second of silence before a voice answered. The quality of the sound wasn't the best but Mundy could still clearly understand. 

"Who's that? I'm not waitin' for anyone." 

"The gentleman's name is M…?"

"Holy shit!" 

Matt cut on the spot and Laura seemed surprised.

"He must be on his way. Take a seat and wait for him if you want." 

"Uh, yeah, sure, thanks." 

Mundy sat on one of the orange plastic chairs in the hall and waited. A few minutes had passed when the sound of a car woke him up from his daydreaming. He heard it stop and its door was slammed shut. An instant later, a man flung the door open.

"M? Is that you?" 

"I don't know, d'you do remember me, eh?" 

"Mate, it's been so long… We thought the worst had happened to you, or that maybe you just stopped."

Matt threw himself at the Aussie who had just stood up and hugged him dearly.

"Well, I kinda did, yeah." 

"Come in, come in! The rest of the team's busy, we've been super full of work y'know but -- holy shit, mate, it's really you!"

Mundy raised his eyes and he realised that the young black man who worked there was now a full blown adult, no doubt about that. 

"Bloody hell, you grew up so much, Matt. It's hard to believe it's still you… Look at you now, big and strong, with a beard…!"

Matt looked up at the taller man. 

"And you haven't changed a bit, even your clothes are the same style…!"

It was all so strange. 

"How old are you now?" The Aussie asked.

"Twenty-five, man. It's been ten years!" 

They walked out and both embarked on Matt's jeep. 

"C'mon, I'll give you a tour!" 

Mundy nodded and accepted the invitation. The young man drove him around the wide area of natural decor that countless species shared. 

"Bloody hell, is this all of the reserve? It used to be so much smaller…! You guys used to have only reptiles, snakes, crocs, alligators and the like…"

"Yeah but we managed to get more land and more animals."

"Still have the reptiles?" Mundy asked. 

"Oh, yeah, heaps more now. We even got new generations of them." 

"Ah, that's nice. Been workin' hard then, eh?" 

"Yeah, kinda, but I'm not complainin'. It's a beautiful job." 

Mundy smiled. The young man next to him had grown indeed but some aspects of his character had remained, among which the passion he had for animals. 

Matt stopped the jeep in front of a big house. 

"Is that yer headquarters?" 

"Nah, more of a small one. Let's get inside and we can have a chat, yeah?" 

Mundy nodded and followed the young man. 

"So what's your job title now, Matt?" 

"I'm in charge of the crocs!"

"Really?! I remember you were terrified of them!"

"Yeah but I was taught how to handle them and I grew to like them. And I think they like me too!"

Both entered a room with sofas, a big table and a TV. It resembled a classic living/dining room. 

"Please M, sit down. Want anything to drink?" 

"Just water please."

"Alright, gimme a minute." 

And a minute later Matt came with two glasses in his hand. 

"Here you go…!"

"Ah, thanks mate." 

They both sat next to each other and took a good sip of their drinks. 

"Anyone else apart from you who's still working here?" Mundy asked.

"Yeah, most of the team is, I think. Oh, actually Dave retired."

"Ah, fair, the man was already too old back then." Mundy said. 

"Yeah, and Kate, she's havin' her third kid, she's out on maternity leave!"

"Kate? She's got kids?!" 

"Yeah, mate! Oh you've missed so much… We can do the catchin' up later. I'm curious, what brings you back?" 

"Well, business… I'm lookin' for 'gators and I wanted to know if you had heard anythin' about them." 

"What kind of 'gators?" 

"There's this bloke called Johnson. He owned some-"

"Yeah, Johnson, I know him. He called us a few times and we went there to help him out when he first got his alligators. Oh  shit… Don't tell me those ones got stolen?"

Mundy grimaced and nodded.

"Yeah… Yeah, they did."

"All of them?"

"All of them. Stolen right under his nose." 

"Bloody hell, M, those were the last ones!"

"I know, that's why I'm here with you."

Matt drank more of his water to digest the information. 

"So, heard of anythin' about them?" Mundy asked.

"No, I'm sorry, no one came with more animals. If anything we were super busy because of poachers ourselves."

"What happened?" The tall man asked. 

"They've been visitin' us more and more lately and they only take the good stuff eh. They know what they want these ones… I'm sorry, M, I'm probably adding to your problems here."

"Nah, nah, go on." 

"It started with some crocs. I was furious and felt absolutely powerless… Then came the antelopes, some birds, and even some panthers." 

"When did that all happen?" 

"In about a few months now, two, maybe three. We're seriously concerned now and standing guard durin' the night doesn't really help. The reserve is huge and we're not enough to cover it all entirely, even with volunteers…" 

"D'you have any leads about the thiefs?" Mundy asked. 

"No… Not really. You're gonna laugh but…" 

Matt hesitated. 

"Go on, mate, it's the same old me. You can talk." 

"Yeah… Well I've been prayin' for you to come back. Each Sunday when I'd go to church. I'd add a prayer, asking for you to not be dead and come back. I even thought of… I thought of quittin' my job here and takin' up yours basically."

Mundy's eyebrows jumped behind his glasses. 

"Someone has to scare the poachers away, we can't let them come and go like that, takin' whatever they want! And I remember how you'd always come and bring back the animals that had been stolen. It was magical, really. One day they were gone, the next day we'd call you and poof, they would re-appear…"

Matt smiled in nostalgia. 

"But then I realised that I had no idea where to start to be the new M, so I abandoned and just stuck to prayin'...."

"Well then I guess you have to go this Sunday and say thanks to the one up there, eh?" Mundy answered and his young friend smiled. 

"Yeah, guess so…"

Silence fell for a moment and Mundy downed the remainder of the water in his glass. 

"M?"

"Hm?" 

"Are you really back?"

The Aussie took a deep breath. 

"S'ppose I say yes, then what?" 

"Please find my crocs. They were a family… The bastards even broke the eggs they had laid…"

Mundy saw Matt's pleading eyes and found it hard to refuse. It was a grown man who was asking him but he saw the very young adult who would come and help during his holidays… 

"I… I can't promise, mate. But I'll keep you in mind. If I hear anythin' about them, I'll give you a call, ok?"

"Yeah… Actually, let me give you the phone number. They had it changed a few times I think since you were gone." 

Matt rose from the sofa and took a newspaper lying on the table. He tore the corner of a page and scribbled his name and the number. 

"There, if you call that, you'll have Laura at reception. Then ask for me and she'll call me on my walkie-talkie, same as she did today."

"Alroight, thanks mate."

"Let's get to the jeep, I'll give you a ride back." 

"Yeah, thanks." 

After a few minutes, Mundy was back in his van. He rolled the window down for Matt to speak. 

"Good to see you back, M. It's been too long. We've all missed ya here." 

The older man smiled. 

"Thanks, mate. I think I've missed it too somehow."

"See ya, M!"

"See you too, Matt!" 

The Aussie rolled his window back up and drove away, his thoughts still rolling. Matt hadn’t heard about his alligators so they weren’t in any reserve or zoo. Right then, Mundy needed to visit another person. It all felt a bit unsettling, walking back in his own steps, reviving friendships like dead plants. Now he was feeling the weight of the past decade. Time had continued passing, even though it had stopped for him. People had continued growing, Matt was now a man. Companies thrived, Phil was very successful. Mundy raised his eyes and looked in his rear view mirror. All those changes and he had stayed the same, like the gear of a clock stuck on midnight.  

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Dragon Dancer IV: Hiwatari Matsuri

The Shrine was about an hour and a half away in the mountains surrounding the Western side of Tokyo. We rode in a bulletproof Buick with deep black tinted windows in a caravan that included two other cars.

Aoi Gen sat beside me, Spider Fang and Tongzi in her lap, the baby’s carseat between us.  Every so often, she would look at Ru’Yi who was captivated by the swinging toys above her head, watching her occasionally flap her little arms to make them move more. 

“I am sorry I threatened her life.” Aoi said, her voice quiet. “It won’t happen again.”

“Are you nervous?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “Whether or not he believes me doesn’t change the truth of the matter. He is a foreigner. He has no right to call himself by the name Gen, and he needs to forfeit the assets he stole from my family. There’s nothing to be nervous or uncertain about.”

“I mean... Hydra doesn’t believe you... The woman I talked to called you a ‘crazy lady.’“

She smiled, holding up a manila envelope. “I’ve brought proof.”

She opened it, pulling out a photograph and handing it to me.

“This is the last photo of the Gen Clan before the massacre. The woman standing on the far left is my mother, pregnant with me. You can probably see the resemblance. She flew off to the States and this photo was mailed to her. I was born in the States and raised there with her American husband. After he died, she came back but was too scared to contact. Hydra I was about sixteen at the time.”

“So... your last name isn’t Gen...” I said.

“No. Officially it’s Arnett. However...” She pulled out another piece of paper and handed it to me. A birth certificate from California. Sure enough, Aoi Arnett’s mother’s last name was Hana Minamoto.

I looked up at her. “And you showed them this?” I handed them back to her.

“Of course.” 

“And what did they say?”

“That they were fake.” She returned the papers to the envelope.

I twined my fingers eyes resting on my daughters face. “That’s really tough. Well...” I looked up at her. “I believe you.”

We arrived at the shrine as the sun was setting.  We stayed in the car while Aoi’s men stood by the doors. Black guns rested at their hips. I started to scan upwards and spotted moving shadows on the roofs of buildings.

“Hydra are everywhere. Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked.

“I have to do this. They won’t fire on me so long as you’re here.”

Once it was evident that the tension in the area wasn’t rising, the men opened our doors to let us out. I lifted Ru’Yi from her carseat where she’d fallen fast asleep from the motion of the drive.

Hydra agents in suits led me to one of the outside buildings on the complex. My eyes brightened when I spotted Crow. He gave Aoi a glare but gave me a smile. “This way.”

I glanced over my shoulder as Aoi was led away to wait elsewhere. “You’re not going to hurt her are you?” I whispered to Crow. 

“That would be up to her...” He murmured back. We entered through the door into a room full of paintings of dragons and samurai engaging them in battle. On one wall, a white eight headed beast loomed over me from floor to ceiling.

“Wait here.”

Crow turned on his heel and marched out. I sighed, shifting Ru’Yi from one shoulder to the other. I didn’t like this place. I felt like the paintings on the wall were going to crawl out and eat me. In fact, it reminded me a lot of the feeling I got in the basement of Minamoto Heavy Industries.

I approached the painting of the serpent and sniffed it. Sure enough, it had that fishy smell of the paint used on the large murals in that building. This was no ordinary shrine, but a shrine owned by Hydra, likely for generations.

The door opened behind me and I turned. There, silhouetted by the last gleams of daylight, was Chisei Gen. I hadn’t seen him in over a year! 

He was still tall as I remembered him, tanned from his time on the beach in France. He was dressed in the traditional robes of the priests and a ceremonial necklace. Behind him, the sound of a loud horn announced that the firewalking ceremony was soon to begin.

“Carli. Are you alright?” He seemed shocked to see me there.

“I’m okay!” I said, relieved. “Did Crow tell you I would be here?”

He shook his head and looked behind him, annoyed. “No...”

I rolled my eyes. “Have you ever wondered if there were any one else of the Gen Clan remaining? It existed before you arrived, what happened to all of them?”

“They were massacred in a gang war... Carli what is this about?” He shut the door behind him.

“There’s a woman claiming to be one of the Gen Clan. Her name is Aoi. She presented me with a photo of her family taken within Hydra headquarters as well as a her birth certificate with her mothers maiden name Minamoto as proof. She’s asking to speak with you.”

His eyes narrowed. “Really... this again.”

“What do you mean, this again?”

“Do you think this the first time someone has approached me with this sort of thing?”

“Eh?” I was genuinely surprised. “I...”

“It happens to all prestigious families. These hereditary claims.” He shook his head, amused. “It’s good to see you though, Carli. Is that your baby?” He tilted his head to look at Ru’Yi.

My eyes shifted. “Yes... but...” I couldn’t believe he was blowing her off so easily. “I mean surely you should talk to her right?”

He gave an incredulous laugh. “No. I have people for that.” He approached. “Can I hold her?”

“Sure...” My heart was slamming in my chest as I handed Ru’Yi to him. “But... but Chisei. I kinda... Told her you would meet with her.”

“What?!” His head swiveled.

“It’s a situation where I felt a lot of sympathy for her! Right now, I’m desperately searching for my own family and no one believes me!” 

“Did something happen to Mingfei?” He glanced behind him at the sound of another horn. “Make it quick, the ceremony is about to begin.”

“The night Ru’Yi was born I came under attack by a powerful Soul Skill. Before that attack I was married to a man named Chu Zihang. And afterward, everything changed. The house I was living in changed form and everyone told me that I was married to Lu Mingfei and that Ru’Yi is his daughter!”

“Everything I remember? People tell me it never happened! And that I’m delusional or crazy! But I’m not crazy!”

Chisei stared at me, wide eyed, silent, Ru’Yi dozing in his arms.

I felt like I was digging myself deeper and deeper but I just couldn’t stop, searching for any sort of sign that he was understand me. “I ran away from the academy, because they accused Mingfei of treason and wanted implicate me. Aoi Gen found me and I said if they could hide me for a while, I would bring her to you, to state her case.”

Chisei had begun to shake his head, in full disbelief, but that gradually turned to anger as he spoke. “You’re on the run from the academy for treason and you would drag me into it? Carli... what are you thinking?” His voice lowered to a hissing whisper. “They will come down on us like a hammer!” He leaned forward, passing Ru’Yi to me, his eyes intent.

I swallowed hard. “I thought you would listen.”

“I did listen and I’m hearing insanity and foolishness.” He glared at me and I shrank away.  “I gave you Spider Fang and Tongzi at your wedding. To Mingfei Lu. Are you telling me I didn’t do that?”

I gave a little sigh. “The person you gave the swords to... his name was Chu Zihang. That’s what I remember.” My shoulders fell. My eyes started to burn. I hiccuped, tears falling.

 Chisei turned away, regret softening his features. “I can’t help you. I’ll have my men take care of Aoi. Get out of here. And don’t contact me again.”

He left and shut the door behind him.

“Johann... now what?” Tears flowed once more as I stood in the dark, alone in that dim room. In my effort to find a friend, I’d lost one.

I had to find Aoi. They weren’t going to believe her. She wasn’t talking to Chisei.

I stepped out of the small room into the dark. The mountains were loud with the sound of singing crickets, frogs and awakening cicadas. No one was watching me. Chisei was long gone. 

A rolling drum beat was followed by the sound of low horns and chanting. The ancient sounds raised goosebumps on my arms.  

A crowd of chanting priests shaking ceremonial rattles were following a man with a horn and a torch in his hand. I fell in line behind them.

They suddenly stopped. I looked around. An older man was holding up what looked like a scroll and shouting out its contents in front of a gigantic bonfire. A man came with a flat paddle and stared to pull the bonfire apart, smashing the charred logs flat.

I ducked away from loud chanting crowd. On the roof of the temple proper, I spied human figures moving against the dark blue sky. I pressed myself between two buildings as the drums began a steady beat and the first of the priests began their walk down an aisle of fire over smoldering embers.

I spotted an opening in the crowd near a stone fence near the trees, but as soon as I moved toward it, someone came from the woods dressed in black, eyes fixed on me.

I backed away, running into someone who shouted in annoyance.

The chants were interrupted by gasps and shouting. 

Between the two rows of fire stood Chisei and facing him was Aoi.

The two stood on top of the embers, heedless of the incredible heat. Aoi smiled, serene, as she turned the hilt of the sword Spider Fang so that it glimmered in the light of the crackling fire. 

She wasn’t going to win this fight. She was going to die. I rushed forward only to be grabbed from behind around my neck.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The hard metal of a pistol was placed against my head.

“Taiga!”

“You’re not leaving until this is settled. One way or another.”

[duskwitch]

Hey I was wondering : how you think the other post timeskip golden deer and Byleth react when they find that Claude was and still is victim of racism and bullying ?You aren't not obliged to respond but this would make me happy.I'm sorry if I'm bothering you (And for my bad english)

Eh, it’s all fine!^^

I’m not sure I’m good at this kinda thing. I don’t do it very often. But here goes nothing:

Learning that Claude is actually a victim of bullying would come as a shock to anyone who’s ever met him. He seems too easy-going to even be bully-able and the fact that he’s usually the one to make fun of people makes it hard to imagine him as a victim. Plus, he’s very charismatic and likely popular among the students of the Officer’s Academy. Why would anyone bully him in the first place?

Now, the reaction to the fact that the bullying was racially motivated (I think that’s the phrase?) is a whole different thing. And a little complicated. But let’s see how I think the Deer would react in general.

Raphael is a sweet and simple guy. He doesn’t care why the bullying is happening or whom by. If anyone bullies his friends point him at the bully and he’ll give them a fist full of his mind.

Leonie is actually similar. Bullies are just people who want to make others feel small so that they can feel bigger in comparison. Doesn’t matter how or why. So Claude’s from Almyra? Cool. Explains some things. She’s his friend, and if Claude ever needs her, whether to talk or to put some jerks in their place, she’ll be there - Fódlan, Almyra or wherever.

Lysithea would analyze the situation from an objective standpoint. She’s not surprised, actually. It makes sense that Almyrans think Fódlans are weak from all she heard. And Fódlans think Almyrans are savages. It’s obvious why Claude would hide his heritage from everyone. Well, people are ignorant idiots wherever you go, it seems. Nothing to be done. She cannot offer Claude any words of comfort but she’s ready to throw hands fireballs. She may be tsundere about it but she’s even more eager to protect her friends from bully assholes than Raph is. Other than that she’s on board with whatever the alternative plan is. However, she has more personal things to worry about to make any plans of her own.

Hilda is the first one to react with “That’s horrible! I had no idea.” followed by “It explains a lot!“ She would make the connection between the prejudice Almyrans and Fódlans hold towards each other and Claude’s distrustful nature. Further, it would make her aware of her own prejudice towards Almyrans, which she would probably confess and state her regret about. After a while of thinking, she’d suggest that they organize some cultural events. Make people see the nice things about each other! Like food or traditional artisan goods! (Raphael would be totally on board with the former) She’ll pour her heart into organizing these things to show Claude that she’s on his side and to help him realize his dream of mutual understanding among people.

Ignatz is one of the people who never imagined that someone like Claude could get bullied. Personally, I can’t help but see both their supports as Claude making fun of Ignatz. And while Claude is not horrible enough to hang out with somebody just to make fun of them, let’s just say the undertones of those supports brought back some bad memories. As someone who was likely a victim of bullying himself, he can empathize. Despite, or maybe because of that, he struggles to find the right words of encouragement. Like the others, he tells Claude that he’ll be there if he needs him, but he doesn’t feel satisfied with that. Ignatz will definitely ask Claude about Almyra, though. Out of curiosity, obviously, but also as a way of saying “Your heritage, that thing people made fun of, I think that’s pretty neat!” even if just subconsciously. Eventually, he might get the idea to go to Almyra himself and paint the landscape and the people, to bring them to Fódlan, so to speak.

Marianne, similar to Ignatz, never could have pictured Claude as the victim of bullying. She knows the pain of “being different“ very well, so she can empathize, too. She isn’t very good at offering advice but she assures him that she’s always there for him if he needs someone to listen. She would tell him how impressed she is at his positive attitude; how these horrible things didn’t seem to get him down. In their A support they talk about casting aside their respective burdens and working towards changing the world. She would probably remind him of that conversation and affirm once again that she would help him in any of his endeavors. Since she is the heiress to House Edmund, she would probably become more active learning about diplomacy to be able to support Claude.

Lorenz... oh, dear. First of all, the realization that Claude is half Almyran would hit him like a cavalry charge to the face. That’s why he acted nothing like Lorenz would expect from a Fódlan noble! He always knew something was fishy about the guy but he never could have guessed. For a while Lorenz would try to wrap his head around the idea that a foreign prince became the legitimate heir to an Alliance noble house. Is that even okay? Lorenz was brought up to believe that Almyrans are enemies, much like Hilda. Then again, Claude is a prince! Isn’t being the heir to a noble house a step down for him?Only when those thoughts are out of the way, it would dawn on Lorenz that Claude was shunned for his Fódlan heritage. How dare they? The NERVE! He would likely start complaining about Almyrans until someone shuts him up by asking him if he disapproves of Claude’s Almyran heritage then and if that isn’t the same thing. To which he’d be lost for words for a while. He’d have to admit that it is and feel remorse for it.Eventually, Lorenz would come to a similar decision as Marianne, dedicating himself to diplomacy in order to help realize Claude’s dream. Who else was Claude going to depend on if not the heir of one, if not the, most influential noble house in the Alliance? (he’d begrudgingly ask Claude for pointers in how to deal with Almyrans on a diplomatic level, however)

Byleth’s reaction is similar to Leonie’s. They are a mercenary. They have seen shit. People oppressing others is the same everywhere, regardless of the reasons. Claude has their blade no matter where he comes from or where he needs it. A romantically involved Byleth would probably be even more ready to throw hands. But they understand that using their position and influence actually gives them a better tool in helping Claude.

I guess I see everyone trying to support Claude on either a personal or political level. But I do not see them dealing with the issue of racism per se as it is either not in their character or in the writing.

[5sosbitchfest]

Why Crusty is the Legit Worst: A Masterpost

So I mentioned a while ago in an ask that I could make an entire masterpost dedicated to why Crusty is the legit worst... and here it is. This is going to be a very long post, so bear with me.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

1. The racist/fatphobic/xenophobic tweets

Much before 5sos was involved, Crusty was one of those wannabe LA influencer/model people who tweeted shit like this:

Now, apparently she’s claimed that these tweets were faked and never apologized for them, but then again, when does she ever sincerely apologize? Oh wait, never. So, were these tweets faked or not? Well...

There are responses to the tweets on the left. Here are the responses to the top left one:

Jac Vanek was one of Crusty’s old friends. They’ve been photographed and tagged in the same photos together. So, sure, people could have found out they were friends and faked the tweet/response to the tweet. However, 1. how and why would anybody go that far, and 2. if you look closely, the screenshot with the other deleted tweets and the screenshot with the response look like they were on different phones (the emoji, font, spacing between the letters/lines). Two different phones, eh? It’s almost like the tweet was real and could be seen on multiple platforms! Wow!

In addition, the tweet was sent out on February 8, 2013. Here’s another response to the supposed fake tweet:

Same date, eh? And only less than an hour later! Who would go through so much trouble to fake the tweet, the responses, and even get it down to the dates that the responses were sent out?

Back to the first screenshot of all of her tweets:

The bottom left one had some responses too! Here they are:

Same date, a couple minutes later. Seriously, who would take the time to fake the responses down to the dates and times? It’s almost like... the tweet was real! *gasps*

Now, this response could possibly be one to the bottom right tweet:

The only reason why I’m unsure of this one is because the time the response was sent out was three hours prior to the actual tweet, not to mention the month of the tweet isn’t really distinguishable in the screenshot. Even so, the response looks pretty nasty, and I’m sure it was to an equally nasty tweet from Crusty.

Now, I can’t find proof of the top right tweet being fake or real, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, considering she has no problem saying “sleazy foreigners.” Of course, obviously, these tweets were deleted, which brings me to my next point.

2. She deletes tweets whenever she gets backlash, doesn’t apologize, and plays the victim card.

So back in September, she had a pretty epic Twitter meltdown (which is still up, she didn’t delete it), where she basically guilt tripped her entire audience, whether they “hated” on her or not.

Uhhh... sure. I agree that you never know what someone is going through, but 1. these “trolls” you see are usually fans with valid opinions and reasons as to why they don’t like you, 2. the constant use of ‘do you want to do this’ or ‘do you want to be that’ is playing the victim card so hard and blaming literally anyone who reads the tweet, making them feel guilty, otherwise known as guilt tripping. Y’know, something that emotional manipulators/abusers do? Yeah, that, and 3. she just HAS to make the whole thing about her. Notice how she says “your words affect me” and puts "and any other person you’re bullying” in parentheses. Notice how she says “you don’t know if I’m depressed, going through trauma, etc.” Notice how she says “do you actually want to inflict pain, hurt, tears, & hate onto me & others?” She tried so hard to be inclusive... and failed. The whole thing is about her, and she just kinda threw in some other terms to make it seem like some kind of positive message for everyone, when in reality, it’s just her being a whiny brat.

Not to mention she just threw Messy into the mix and shaded Arz. Which, lol. Arz was literally her PR client. It’s actually very likely that she was the one who put Arz and Luke together. Hm.

There was the time she pissed off a bunch of Kpop fans when she tweeted this and automatically tried to patch it up:

She probably saw how pissed people got and tried to fix it and make it seem like it was just a joke. Even still, people saw it as being quite fishy, and rightfully so. After all, it probably wasn’t a joke. And then shortly after, like a few weeks or something, she posted a link to a BLACKPINK song or something saying how good the song was. Ooookay.

Then we have the magazine fiasco:

Basically people were angry because a magazine cover came out that featured mostly Luke and the other boys were kinda off to the side. Colliscool is some weirdly famous 5sos fan who is another wannabe LA influencer chick, and of course Crusty is kissing her ass because it makes her look nice. Anyway, if complaining about a magazine cover is “standing up for what you believe in,” what about actually important issues, like racism or homophobia or poverty? It’s a fucking magazine cover. And while it’s hard to hear, Luke is the lead singer, so it only stands to reason why he would be the main feature, tbh. But once Crusty compared fans to Trump, she received backlash, deleted these tweets, and never spoke of it again.

Let’s not forget how a few days later, the whitewashed photo of Calum came out, and people were angrier about that and thought it more important than the magazine cover (which I agree with), and Crusty didn’t say anything on the matter. People were pissed that she complained about the magazine cover and not the whitewashed photo of Calum, but those fans gotta understand that unless it involves Michael, she doesn’t give a shit. I mean, with the past xenophobic/racist tweets... her not saying anything makes sense.

Then there’s the more recent ordeal with Cardi B:

She really thought her backlash was about Mac Miller not winning. And when a fan tried to explain why Cardi B is problematic, she went ahead and played the victim card again. For comparison, here’s how Debby Ryan, Josh Dun’s fiancee, responded:

Not only did she acknowledge her lack of knowledge, she handled the situation by engaging with the people who were educating her, asking them for more information, and thanking them for educating her. Meanwhile, you have Crusty, who’s all like “WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW I’M ONLY HUMAN” and... yes, Crusty, we’re all fucking human, but not all of us are assholes. She likes to tweet, delete, and yeet, as I like to put it.

And I’m going to put this out there for people who might try to argue with me: yes, I spent a good hour scrolling through her twitter to try to find any ounce of proof that she’s a decent person. I did find some rt’s and threads of her talking about mental health and racism (she was talking about the movie the blackkklansman and how it’s revolutionary or something along the lines of that), and she took part in that whole campaign last year to get young people to vote. Here’s the thing: yeah, those are good causes. But it’s really easy to seem like a good person online. It’s so easy to say things and not mean them. Also, just because someone may have liberal viewpoints or morals doesn’t necessarily make them a good person, especially if they don’t outwardly show it, which brings me to my next point.

3. She’s an asshole to fans.

That’s kind of a well-known fact, at least, to the people who can see past her bullshit. She will literally enter group chats with fans, get the twitter names of people who talk bad about her, and block them on her and Michael’s accounts. But of course, because she’s interacting with the fans, she’s seen as a saint because she’s just so sweet!!! And whenever people don’t see that, well, they get blocked. She checks her indirects, obviously, so if you so much as mention her name in a negative way, she and “Michael” will block you. Which is so fucked.

Remember when she was rude to some fans in Bali a few years back? If not, here’s the video. When people saw the video, of course she played the victim card again:

Oh yes, because coming up with a bunch of excuses, mentioning the fact that you’re “crying in lax,” and using a thousand emojis really expresses how guilty you feel. Kiss my entire ass.

But that wasn’t the end of that! When Crusty went to Bali earlier this year, she met up with the very fan she was rude to after she sent the fan this DM:

And of course, the girl fell for her bullshit because she got to meet Michael. She just had to make herself look like such a sweetheart before the big engagement! And sadly, it worked, the fan was happy, and Crusty was seen as a saint once again:

She’s even a bitch from southy’s account:

Like... what that person said wasn’t even that bad. Them breaking up is a perfectly plausible situation (if they were actually dating, lol), and yet Crusty literally cussed them out for bringing that up. Oof yikes.

4. The nature of her “relationship” with Michael.

Their first public interaction on Twtiter was back in 2014, when Michael was 18.

This was right before Michael turned 19, so Crusty was 29-30ish (?) at this time (who the fuck knows, I’ll get to that later). It’s not exactly known if she was 5sos’ PR manager, but she was ATL’s, and since 5sos and ATL had worked together, it wouldn’t be surprising if she actually was/is 5sos’ PR manager.

So before Michael, Crusty had been dating a guy named Spencer. Crikey’s timeline starts in January of 2016, where Michael posted this photo of them:

They were “dating” at that time, but neither of them went public until January 2017. However, Crusty continued to consistently interact with her ex Spencer on ig, all the way from January 2016 to May/June 2016, and it started to slow down after that, though she still liked some of his posts here and there. There was even an instance where Spencer sent her flowers in April, which... why would your ex send you flowers???

My belief is that Crusty was still with Spencer at the time she started “dating” Michael, technically cheating on him, and I have an idea in my mind that he probably got sick of it and finally decided to drop her. Which, good for him. After all, she left to be with someone eleven years younger than her just to gain money and fame. Yikes. And apparently there were rumors of her sleeping with Jack from ATL (when she was still with Spencer) when she was their PR manager... she liked to fuck her way to the top and didn’t give a shit about cheating on her boyfriend, I guess.

Now, I know the age gap is a heavily-debated topic, but here’s my stance on it: if the younger party is a full grown adult (I’m talking late twenties/early-mid thirties) when they start dating a person several years older than them, then sure, whatever. They’re basically full-fledged adults who are capable of taking care of themselves and have matured enough to a point where they can make rational decisions for themselves. Michael was twenty years old when he started “dating” Crusty in 2016. People make the argument of “he’s a mature adult he can do whatever he wants!!!” Um... in legal terms, yes, Michael is an “adult,” but twenty is nowhere near the age of maturity. I’m 19, and I know several people around that age, younger and older, who can’t make rational decisions to save their lives. Early adulthood is still a time for growing and figuring things out, and just because Michael is a famous musician doesn’t mean he isn’t still figuring things out. Also... do people know how Michael acted when he was 20? Watch him in interviews, I dare you to call him mature. I’m sure he’s mature in some aspects, but overall, he’s still a young adult who is still in a stage of developing maturity-wise.

So what does this have to do with Crusty? Well, with Michael being 20 when they started “dating,” that would make her 31. A 31-year-old woman dumping/cheating on her boyfriend (who was actually within her age range) to chase after a barely-legal dork from a decently famous pop punk group. Doesn’t that sound sketchy? In my eyes, she took advantage of everything in that situation: the fact she was a PR manager, the fact that Michael was young and naive, the notion that she would get more money and notoriety, and that Modest was probably in need of a beard, well... I’m sure she didn’t hesitate. For her, it’s a win-win-win situation. Just look at her! It doesn’t even look like she has to work that hard anymore, like she’s gone full LA influencer who gets sponsors up the wazoo and gets paid to be a beard. Her fucking dog is a walking advertisement (just look at southy’s ig page, it’s pretty much all sponsors). And no, I’m not saying she doesn’t work, but it seems like social media has taken up most of her life. And she barely even uses it for good/actually important issues. So there’s that.

Fun tidbit: she’s been working in the whole PR/entertainment realm since 2002. Michael was 7. Let that sink in.

Anyway, yeah, my point is that her “relationship” with Michael is pretty creepy. If the roles were reversed, that the younger was female and older was male, people would see it as creepy rather than “they’re both mature adults who can make their own decisions!!” 1. No, that’s a huge double standard, and 2. any time an older person goes after someone who is several years younger, regardless of sex, will always be sketchy in my (and a lot of other people’s) eyes.

5. She is a massive hypocrite in pretty much every way.

Oh, the positivity and sunshine her stans claim she spreads is more like a nasty downpour of hypocrisy and bullshit. Let’s start with this whole ‘spreading positivity’ thing she’s all about.

Crusty stans always say she’s all about spreading positivity and loving yourself and fuck the haters and blah blah blah. I already showed an example above of how she guilt tripped the fuck out of her audience, whether they support her or not. It wasn’t her trying to prove a point, it was straight up guilt tripping, especially because of how much she inserted herself into such situations. She could’ve worded it much differently that shed light rather than guilt.

And this whole being positive/loving yourself thing... well, that brings me to the age thing.

No one seems to know how old Crusty is. 34 is the mostly-agreed upon age, so let’s roll with that. It’s no secret she gets treatments, I mean, just look at this post:

She literally admits to it. And unfortunately I can’t find screenshots of her raving about the intravenous vitamin treatments among other things, but I do remember seeing them (if anyone has them, let us know!)

And it’s been shown she loves to use photoshop (not just on herself either). I mean, how could you go from this:

to this:

She doesn’t even look like the same person! If anything, it looks like she’s gotten younger instead of older... oh wait.

And she always does that pouty-lip thing, and I have a friend who says she thinks she sees lip fillers, which wouldn’t be that surprising. I mean, just look at this old picture of her:

Yeah, keep telling yourself that those lips are all natural.

Seriously... in pretty much every photo of her on her ig, she’s jutting her bottom lip out like it’s some duck face selfie from like, 2011. Please.

And her ass, well.

Here’s what we see:

And here’s some reality:

Bruh even Luke has a bigger ass than she does.

She posted a video on her twitter of her in the first picture saying something like “to all the people who think it’s photoshopped,” but y’know, it’s like... videos can be edited. Camera angles and poses can make an ass look bigger. Okay sis.

Fun fact: she deleted that picture of her by the pool, probably because people were making fun of how she literally had her bathing suit stuck in her ass. I mean, that’s what she gets for trying to make it look like she has one when she doesn’t.

Aaaaand here’s the heavy hitter:

When my friend saw this photo, she said that if she didn’t know Crusty was Michael’s girlfriend, she would’ve thought she was his mom. Y I K E S.

You can see the age literally everywhere. Her entire face, neck, and even the skin on her elbow in the second pic (it’s one of the first things I noticed tbh). And this was literally back in Bali 2019. You know, not even four months ago? Like damn, the sun really did her dirty lol. These pics are why me and many others question her actual age. She seriously looks like she could be in her forties in these photos, which, if she is, then her “relationship” with Michael gets even more fucked up.

Oh and she doesn’t just photoshop herself. You have this monstrosity:

Like what the fuck? Who are they trying to fool here????

And then this:

That’s a really... interesting ear.

So yeah, what part of Crusty’s face/body/everything is real? Not much! So, if she’s all about positivity, loving yourself, embracing your flaws and "fuck the haters" and whatnot, why can’t she practice what she preaches? You’re getting older, get the fuck over it and start acting like it, maybe start accepting it and stop getting treatments that will probably eventually backfire (like in the Bali pic).

Moving on from her looks, her entire attitude is just extremely hypocritical. I saw how she tries to preach online about mental health and how important it is to take care of yourself, and then she does shit like this:

So you’re just going to make fun of someone who’s struggled with severe drug addiction and eating disorder like that? She’s said on her twitter that her father was an addict, yet she’s going to make fun of someone who struggled with the same issue?

She’s considered a role model because she speaks out about this kind of stuff, including feminism, but let’s examine this a bit. This is her pinned tweet, and has been for a while:

Good message, yeah? Oh, but then she interacts with disgusting trash like Musty Collins:

Musty Collins, who puts on this whole sad boi~ act and then name drops 5sos to prey on underage girls. If Crusty’s so keen on empowering women, WHY DOES SHE INTERACT WITH A LITERAL PEDOPHILE WHO PREYS ON YOUNG GIRLS. Literally two of the most emotionally manipulative people in the world of 5sos. I guess that’s how they get along so well. They should just get together, but they wouldn’t because they’re too old for each other.

And of course it circles back to her fatphobic tweets. So much for empowering women.

Considering that spreading positivity is what she’s known for (besides being with Michael, yikes), it surprises me that she say something like this that goes against her entire spiel:

Uhh... sis, you are a fake ass public figure trying to get people to like you by saying random regurgitated greeting card BS online. Her ig stories are always screenshots of positive~ messages that are usually found on pinterest or some shit (not shading pinterest, don’t worry lol). That’s some greeting card BS regurgitation right there. Basically what this comment is saying is that she’ll only be nice to people who she thinks worthy of being nice to. A “realist” my ass. I’ve already gone over how “real” she is.

And then you have these ridiculous tweets:

“People are people no matter who they love or how old they are” “When did I say I was all about positive vibes?” Alright then.

I love how these tweets just SHOW how much of a hypocrite she is. Her entire “relationship” with Michael is shown through photos. Literally any time there’s a camera, she will take advantage of it and come up with an excuse to show off her relationship. Where’s the “human connection” you’re going on about? Oh wait, it’s not there, because their relationship isn’t real. Oops.

The second tweet.... just oof. She’s just tweeting about herself lmao.

I love how her excuse for her fucking up is just “I’M A HUMAN BEING WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!” Girl, in case you haven’t noticed, we are ALL human beings, just not all of us are assholes when we fuck up. And then she goes on about how “we are all just human beings and we should all love each other!!” Yeah, it all comes back full circle, one of hypocrisy.

And this isn’t really a reason why Crusty is the worst, just some tweets I saw that kinda made me laugh:

“Luke who?” Oh I don’t know, the guy that your fiance’s actually in love with? HA. She wishes she could be Luke. It’s hilarious how jealous she is of him, how, whenever Lemon content comes out or the spotlight falls on Luke somehow, Crusty has to post about her and Michael’s relationship/engagement to get the attention back on her. Let’s be real, she’ll never be as gorgeous as Luke is, and Michael will never love her like he loves Luke.

So, in conclusion, Crusty is just a fake lying hypocrite. No amount of “this was in the past!! she’s changed!!” excuses will ever change my mind. After all, a lot of things in this masterpost were fairly recent. She might not tweet those horrible things anymore, but her old self shines through sometimes in the form of “I’M HUMAN I MAKE MISTAKES!!!” If she’s really changed, why doesn’t she show it?It’s because she really hasn’t, she’s just gotten better at controlling her social media presence. And that, my friends, is why Crusty is the legit Worst™.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Subaru Route ー Finale Ending

ー The scene starts on the Carnival venue

Subaru: Geez...That old fart...

Yui: T-There, there...

Subaru: Don’t ‘there, there’ me! How can you just carelessly keep smilin’ like that!?

Yui: Well...

Subaru: You nearly got your blood sucked, remember!?

What would you have done in that case!?

Yui: ...Sorry...

But he didn’t seem like a bad person to me...

Subaru: Che...You really are too nice for your own good.

Yui: ...Am I...?

Subaru: ...Ugh...I should be...the only one you’re kind to...!

Yui: Eh? Subaru-kun? Did you say something just now?

Subaru: Nothin’ at all! Fuck...!!

...For one...Explain to me how you got into that kinda situation with the old man!

Yui: That kinda situation...?

Subaru: Don’t play dumb!! He was totally forcin’ himself on you!

What do you think would have happened if I didn’t show up!?

Yui: ...Ah...

Subaru: ...That part of you makes you too nice for your own good!

You had nothin’ else done to you, right?

Yui: Ah...Yeah...

( Probably... )

Subaru: ...Smells fishy. Tell me what the old man did to you while I wasn’t around.

Yui: What? ...He pulled me close and...leant in to kiss me...I guess?

Subaru: ...That shitty old fart...!

I’ll never forgive him!! Next time I see his darn face...

Yui: U-Uhm!

Subaru: Aah? What? Let me tell you, there’s no point in tryin’ to stop me.

Even just now, if you hadn’t stepped in between, I would have kicked his ass...

Yui: Y-You can’t. If you do that...

I mean, didn’t you hear him? ...It was a party to congratulate us.

So...

Subaru: ...

Yui: Besides, fights don’t belong at a Carnival.

Subaru: ...Che...

Then, what kinda stuff is fitting for a Carnival?

Yui: Uhm...Well...

...To enjoy the Carnival more...

Subaru: I don’t really get it. Tell me what you want to do more specifically.

Yui: What I...want to do...?

Subaru: You were lookin’ forward to the Carnival, right?

Now that we’re here, I’m keepin’ you company the whole way through.

I have no other choice after all!

Yui: ( He’ll keep me company...? Even though he already spent the whole day with me...? )

( The real nice person here truly is Subaru-kun, huh? )

Fufu...

Subaru: Oi, whatcha laughin’ for?

Yui: Nothing. Well then...Let’s end the day by going to the amusement park?

Subaru: Aah? The amusement park?

Yui: I mean, last time we only got to visit the haunted house...

Because you made me leave by force...

Subaru: Ugh...

Yui: So, let’s go? ...Once we’re back home, we can’t go to an amusement park after all...

Subaru: Che...Fine. All I have to do is go, right?

...

ー He grabs her hand

Yui: ( Ah...Subaru-kun’s holding my hand...! )

Subaru: Hmph...

ー The scene shifts to the amusement park

Yui: It’s still crowded, huh?

Subaru: Unlike you humans, we don’t really have a sense of time.

...So, where do you want to go?

Yui: Hm...

( Taking a look around, there really are a lot of attractions... )

( A merry-go-around, huh? ...That brings me back. )

( The magic carpet ride seems fun as well... )

( But... )

...How about the ferris wheel?

Subaru: Ferris wheel!?

Are those...fun? You just ride them, don’t you?

Besides, they’re so slow, you can barely tell you’re moving...

Nope. Choose another attraction.

Yui: Eh? ...Well, it’s true that the ferris wheel moves a little slow so it might be dull but...

You get to enjoy the view and it’ll be just us, so it’ll be quiet as well!

Subaru: ...Just the two of us...?

...

Yui: ( Subaru-kun started pondering...I guess he doesn’t want to after all...? )

Subaru: ...Hmph. Okay then. I’m in.

Yui: Eh? Really!?

Subaru: Yeah...I guess it’s better than bein’ somewhere busy and gettin’ caught up in the crowd. 

However...If I get bored...You better take responsibility.

Yui: ( I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that but... )

Y-Yeah...!

Subaru: Kuku...Let’s get goin’ then.

ー The scene shifts to the ferris wheel

Yui: Wah! It started moving!

Subaru: Haah...We’ve barely even left the ground. 

I don’t get how you can get all excited over every single lil’ thing like that.

Yui: Well...You’re not having fun...?

( I guess he really did not want to do this after all... )

Subaru: I-I never said that much, did I!?

Che...

...

Yui: ...

( Oh no...He went silent... )

( Has he already grown tired of it...? )

( Uhm...Something to prevent him from getting bored... )

Subaru: ...Yui.

Yui: Eh? Yes, Subaru-kun?

Subaru: No...You...Did you have fun at the Carnival...?

Yui: ...?

Subaru: ...You came here ‘cause you were suddenly declared the Queen of the Carnival without any explanation, right?

I can imagine that havin’ to venture through the Demon World out in the open wasn’t easy for you...

Bein’ oggled by the Vampires along the way...

Yui: Yeah...

Subaru: And then...At the end, the old man got you good. (1)

You said you wanted to go to the Carnival but...Did you actually have fun?

Yui: ...

You’re right...At first I was surprised, and I had my worries about going to the Demon World.

But since it was such a rare opportunity, I wanted to participate in the Carnival as well...

The other Vampires were definitely scary.

However, I wasn’t attacked by any of them because...You protected me, right?

Subaru: ...That’s...

Yui: The haunted house, the dress shop, Karlheinz-san’s shenanigans...As well as this ferris wheel.

All of it was fun to me. ...Thanks to you.

Thank you, Subaru-kun.

Subaru: ...Aah, fuck!!

ー He jumps up from his seat

*Rustle*

Yui: Wah...Subaru-kun!? It’s dangerous to suddenly stand uーー

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...Nn...!

Yui: ...!?

Subaru: ...Nn...Haah...

Yui: S-Subaru-kun...

Subaru: ...You’re to blame for temptin’ me.

Yui: ...Eh?

Subaru: ...Don’t be sayin’ such cute things...Do you want to get wrecked by me...?

...Nn....Nn...

Yui: ( ...! )

*Smooch*

Subaru: ...Haah...There’s this one thing that still weighs on my mind.

Yui: ...?

Subaru: ...At the dress shop...

Yui: ( The dress shop...? )

Subaru: ...That I didn’t get to have a proper look at you after you had finished changin’...

Yui: E...Eh...!?

Subaru: Do you really need to act so surprised!?

Yui: ( Back then...Subaru-kun suddenly entered the fitting room. )

( So I never even thought of showing the outfit to him... )

Eh...But you stepped inside the fitting room so didn’t you see it...?

Subaru: How could I have seen it!? It was hella cramped after all and...You were still in the middle of gettin’ changed...

...I was willin’ to take a look at the dress who chose a fool such as yourself.

But then the lights suddenly went out and we fell...

When I woke up again, you were back to wearin’ your usual clothes already...

Yui: Ah...

Subaru: So...

Yui: Subaru-kun...!

Subaru: Don’t be gettin’ the wrong idea! I didn’t want to look at you!

I was only interested in the dress that chose you.

Yui: Subaru-kun, your face is red.

Subaru: ...Shut up!

You want me to shut you up!?

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyaah! Didn’t you hear me!? Suddenly moving like that is dangerous, you know...!?

Subaru: Che...

...Nn...Nn...

...Nn...But...If you say you had fun...I’ll forgive you...Nn...

...It’s not like I have to see you in a dress here...

Yui: Eh...?

( What did he imply just now...? )

Subaru: Scoot a lil’ closer...

It’s hard to kiss you like this, right? ...Nn...

Yui: ...Nn...

Subaru: Hehe...Perfect...If I get to spend time with you like this, a ferris wheel isn’t half bad.

...Yui.

...You should always stay right here.

...I love you. ...And I will continue to love you, forever.

Yui: ( Me too, Subaru-kunーー )

Subaru: ...Nn...

*Smooch*

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) 一杯食わせる or ‘ippai kuwaseru’ literally means ‘to make someone eat/drink one cup (of a liquid)’ but it is an idiom which means that someone played a trick on you.

[lbat1901]

Eddsworld: At World's End Chapter 8

Old School Reunion - (Chapter 8) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Both Edd and Matt were on the couch watching tv till the door to the apartment suddenly swung open which got their attention. "Edd! Matt! I've found something that you won't believe" said Tom. "What?" asked Edd. Tom quickly rushes over to them while carrying a folder. "I...I was just walking till I stumbled across Durdam Lane" said Tom as he was trying to catch his breath. "You were? How come you didn't tell us?" asked Matt. "Tell you? Why would I- forget it. I found Tony's house and I tried knocking on his door only to realize he wasn't there. I found an open window, climbed through, and got into his house" said Tom. "Wait...did you just break into someone's house? Tom, you do realize that's illegal right? You could've been caught by the police" said Edd. "I know, I know, I know, but that's not the point. I walked in his house till I found a room which was his office room and I found something completely shocking. I found out that Tony isn't all that innocent and that he's hiding a dark secret" said Tom. "Really? What's the secret?" asked Matt. "I found out that Tony is a leader of an army and he's a communist" said Tom. What Tom didn't expect next was that both Edd and Matt suddenly burst out in laughter. "Why are you two laughing?" asked Tom as he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Tony's a communist? That's so ridiculous" laughed Edd. "I have no idea why I'm laughing, but this is just so hilarious" laughed Matt. "What? I'm being serious here!" said Tom. "Tom, I know that you can't seem to trust Tony, but you can't just make something like this up. There is no way that Tony can be a communist" said Edd. "But....but.....I'm telling the- you know what, fine. I tried to tell you, but if you're not going to believe me then, I'll find a way to prove it myself" said Tom before walking towards the door. As Tom was about to leave he was greeted by two familiar men dressed in uniforms. "Uh, can I help you two?" asked Tom. "Uh...umm....ah......let's see here....." said Paul while looking at a piece of paper that had pictures of Edd, Matt, and Tom on it. "Give me that!" said Patryck as he snatched the paper out of Paul's hands. "Eh....sorry about that. We were just walking down the neighborhood till we came by here and do you mind if we ask one question?" asked Patryck. "Sure, whatever. What do you what?" asked Tom. "Are you by any chance Tom?" asked Patryck. "Uh yeah, that's me" said Tom. Both Paul and Patryck looked at each other as Patryck gave Paul a slight nod before the two looked back at Tom. "What's with the looks? Did I do something wrong?" asked Tom. "No, just get in the body bag" said Paul while getting out a body bag. "Oh....wait....what!? Oh my GOD!!! THEY HAVE BODY BAGS NO!!" screamed Tom before getting covered up in a body bag. Both Paul and Patryck went inside the apartment to find both Edd and Matt on the couch before going up behind them and put them in body bags. "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!? I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE PUT IN A BODY BAG!!!" screamed Matt as he was being dragged by Paul. "Get your hands off me you fiend!!!" yelled Edd as he was being dragged by Patryck. Paul and Patryck threw Edd, Matt, and Tom in the back of a van before closing the doors. "Well that went smoothly as I thought it would" said Paul. "Paul how could you say that when you didn't know what Tom looked like?" asked Patryck. "I don't know. They all the look the same to me" said Paul. "Look the- never mind. Let's just get out of here" said Patryck. ~At The Red Army Base~ "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god......it's so dark. Where am I? How long has it been? What year is it?" asked Matt before a blindfold was removed from his eyes. "Relax, it's only been like 30 minutes" said Tom. "Just where are we?" asked Edd. Matt walks up and touches something metallic before gently rubbing it. "We seem to be trapped in some strange force of psychic energy" said Matt. "No, we're not. We're in a cell" said Tom. "Gahhh! Whoever put us in here is so going to pay!!!" yelled Eduardo. "Wait....Eduardo....?" asked Edd as he got a better close to see Eduardo and his gang trapped behind a different cell across from them. "Oh cheer up Eduardo, it's not all bad" said Jon. "Not bad!? It is bad Jon! We're in a frickin' cell!" yelled Eduardo. "Hey! Leave him alone Eduardo! What did he do to you?" said Edd. "Huh? Hehe....well isn't our lovely neighbors Edd....and his friends. Fancy seeing you three here" said Eduardo. "Yeah it is. What are you guys doing here?" asked Tom. "How we supposed to know? We were here way before you" said Mark. "Yeah and I was somehow brought here too for no reason" said Todd. "Oh.....ey Head" said Hellucard who was standing next to Todd. "Todd? Some random guy who seems to get my name wrong every time he sees me? Look.....do you know who kidnapped us?" asked Edd. "Unfortunately we don't. All I remember was that Jon here just randomly opened the door" said Eduardo. "Opened the door? Wait, I did same thing but I was only leaving till I was stopped by two men who seem to be soldiers. One of them had a scar over there right eye while the other seemed a little bit smarter" said Tom. "Aw someone recalls seeing us. How cute" said Paul. "We hate to break up this friendly reunion, but we got orders from the boss. He wants to see you three" said Patryck. "Well I hope he's happy, because I'm just about ready to break these bars wide open" growled Edd. Paul walks over as Edd, Matt, and Tom braced themselves only to see that Paul took out a key and used it to unlock the cell door. "Are you three coming or what?" asked Paul. Edd, Matt, and Tom slowly walked out of the cell and followed both Paul and Patryck out of the room. "Hey! What about us? You can't leave me here with these idiots!" yelled out Eduardo to the void. After a few minutes of walking, Paul and Patryck lead the three prisoners to a large room which appears to be very decorated before forcefully making them kneel on their knees. "That was a bit mean" whined Matt. "Who cares? I just want this day to end already" said Tom. "Oh Tom, you've always been just so uncaring" said Tord. "Wait....it can't be" said Edd who recognized the voice. "Of course it is Edd, I was waiting forever to see you again" said Tord as he swung his chair around before getting up and walking towards his old friends. "What the?" asked Tom who couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Tord, you're alive. This..this is so incredible" said Edd in amazement. "Heh, longtime no seen old friends" said Tord with a smile. "Hold on for just a minute, how are you still alive? I thought you'd died once your robot exploded" said Tom. "Oh Tom, I thought the same exact thing as you did, but I was lucky to survive only with these burn marks on my face" said Tord while showing off the scorches on his face. "Ew.......so disgusting" said Matt who was a bit disturbed to see the burn marks on the right side of Tord's face. "So anyway this has been great to see you but we're kinda busy" said Edd. "I understand that, but this is important. So important that I need to be alone with Tom. Paul and Patryck, please take both Edd and Matt out here" said Tord. "So those are your names. How nice to know" said Matt. Paul and Patryck took Edd and Matt out of the room leaving Tom alone with Tord. "How has the Jehovah's Witness been doing?" asked Tord. "What do you want, commie?" asked Tom with an unamused tone. "Oh I just wanted to check up on one of my friends that's all" said Tord. "I said this before and I can say it again, I am not your friend" said Tom. "Tom, I know you don't like me but please just hear me out" said Tord. "Yeah, yeah, can you make it quick? I need to get back to something" said Tom. "That's exactly what I wanted to talk about....and.....do you know anything about the Black Leader?" asked Tord. Tom's eyes suddenly widen upon hearing what Tord just said. "I have a feeling that you do" said Tord. "Yeah I do. There's something fishy going on here that doesn't add up. What are you up to?" asked Tom. "Nothing really. It's just that I recently gotten a report about him and decided to do some research. The Black Leader's real identity is Anthony von Rudolph and he's a cult leader" said Tord. "Cult leader? The last time I checked, he's actually a communist just like you" said Tom. "Does a guy who plans on draining the earth of its natural resources while leading a group of infamous gangs is considered to be a communist?" asked Tord. "Well no but- wait....he's planning to drain the earth out of its resources? I knew that there was something going on" said Tom. "Exactly. Where did you get your information from?" asked Tord. "I uhh....went back to Durdam Lane and found Tony's house. I went inside and got these" said Tom as he got out the folder containing all the pictures. Tord takes the folder before looking inside to see each picture. "I see. Did you mention this to anyone?" asked Tord. "I've told both Edd and Matt, yet they wouldn't believe me" said Tom. "I guess they'll have to learn it the hard way" said Tord. "Well not both of them, it's just Matt who thinks that there's nothing wrong with Tony" said Tom. "To be honest, Matt doesn't understand who he's actually dealing with" said Tord. Then Paul and Patryck unexpectedly suddenly came into the room. "Paul and Patryck, do you care to explain why you just barged in here?" asked Tord. "Uhh.........yeah......hehe....about that...." said Patryck nervously. "We....have a problem" added Paul. "Problem? What is it?" asked Tord. "Let me guess, Edd and Matt distracted you two and got away?" asked Tom. "Uhh....nooooooo...ehh...yes they did" said Paul. "How could you let two people distract you that easily?" asked Tord. "I wouldn't say that they distracted us, it's that Paul wanted a milkshake" said Patryck. "I-I....that didn't happen!" yelled Paul. "Oh yes it did Paul!" yelled back Patryck. "Both of you two shut up! Even if they had escaped, we're able to track them down with a special drone" said Tord.

[osmw1]

Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 50

Things have fortunately been going well. Our life in the town of Lif’el goes on without a hitch. But as for Wayne though… well, right now, he’s about to get out of the bathtub. I go over to him and slowly rip his skin off.

“Hngh…?! That didn’t hurt?”

Ripping off the tough skin revealed a patch of fair, untainted skin underneath. The day after, I helped peel his skin like aiding a snake shed its skin. Townsfolk peered through windows, alarmed at what I’m doing to Wayne. Word soon spread that Old Man Wayne came out of his pupa and spread his wings. To call it like is kinda… well, it’s not too far off. But after helping him shed, Wayne shakily stood up and looked at his own body in amazement.

“I can stand! My body feels fantastic! Am I really cured?! I ain’t never felt better than this! Never mind if I turn to stone again, this is invigorating!”

His pessimism didn’t come off with his skin, eh? Is he going to be alright?

‘…? I see it now. After eradicating the disease that had taken control of his skin, the well-concealed curse is now revealed.’

A curse? What do you know about it? Veno materialized a sheet of paper.

‘Lass, go prepare this ritual and magic circle. And fetch a high-leveled Priest. ‘Tis time to lift a curse. I know not who, but someone placed a distasteful curse on the man.’ “Y-Yes?! Umm, it seems like we shall be performing a ritual to break your curse, so I shall be off to find a priest!” “Mu!”

Under Veno’s orders, Arleaf, along with Rurika and the helper, brought home a priest. Then Arleaf took charge in drawing the magic circle and started the ritual… I think? With focus on the now-flexible Wayne, they began chanting and thus, the ceremony. Though it looks like it’s for summoning a demon, the magic circle glows with a beautiful light. And at last, the ceremony concludes.

“Cohgray! You really are quite somethin’. I’d better fire up the forge while I am still able to freely move about. I will smith until I can’t.” ‘Consider Wayne cured of petrification. Though I cannot say that there are zero chances that it shall return…’ “T-Thank you for your kind words.”

It makes me uneasy that you’re not confident that he’s cured… but it should be fine if we keep an eye on him, right?

“So? Arleaf? What was it that y’all wanted from me? Did you mention you were looking for your ancestor’s journals or something like that?”

Since we’ve stayed at Wayne’s household for nearly a week now, I think we can tell him our story. It doesn’t seem like he believes all of it, but I can tell he’s thinking.

“I’ll pay people a visit and collect all records of your ancestor. And… wasn’t there talk of wanting me to forge somethin’?” “Umm, Yukihisa?” “With a budget of about 1,000,000 lag, I was hoping I could commission you could repair, improve, replenish, or even make us some new equipment.” “Hmm, a whole million? I don’t want to know where you got that money… but fine. You mentioned repairs. Could you show me what you need fixin’?” “Of course.”

I take out the crossbow and sword I got from Veno.

‘Let me take out some materials as well.’

Elbatoxin parts and a small amount of rat felts instantly appeared.

“I see you’ve got a stockpile goin’ on. Well, I think I can make somethin’ suitable for you two with this. Now, let’s see that crossbow…”

Hmm? Do you have an idea of what needs fixing?

“This looks exactly like somethin’ a student of mine sent me. After finishing the apprenticeship, some blue blood without two brain cells to rub together commissioned a bespoke crossbow from him. Said somethin’ about makin’ lots of money, too.”

He sent you a spare one? What, was he really proud of it or something?

“Maybe I’m wrong about that this is somethin’ my student made. Or perhaps that idiot noble gave this to you as a present. Or maybe even that he lost it in a funny turn of events, and it landed in your hands… hmpf.”

Yikes… he’s totally suspicious of me. What do I do? Just wave it off?

‘It would be fine to tell the man the truth, aye? That thou received it from me!’

What’s the point of that? More importantly, do you really think he’d believe that?

‘The lass has explained everything already!’

He probably doesn’t believe half of the things we said! Augh, whatever! I’ll channel a sweatshop survival skill: The Smiling Poker Face!

“Yes, you could say fate brought it to me.” ‘It truly is about how and not what thou sayest… but do mention how it was obtained. From the apprentice? From the noble? From me? Or even that thou borrowed it after finding it on the ground.’

I can’t stand that abrasive way Veno speaks. I ignore him.

‘Canst thou not survive in thy world without spewing ambiguous half-truths?’

Oh, just shut up already. I’m trying to focus on tricking him here!

“… would you believe that the idiot noble picked a fight with a dragon, got defeated, and had his crossbow relinquished from him? And then somehow, it ended up in my hands? Kinda romantic, don’tcha think?” “Hmm…”

Wayne taps at the stock of the crossbow, pointing out something to me. Gah?! Was there a proof mark or a serial number?!

‘And the truth comes spilling out!’ “So, the noble challenged the Lord Dragon, had his weapon taken away, and was left alive? If it were the same Holy Dragon of our ancestors’, then that isn’t exactly a far-fetched story. They said He was a merciful one.” ‘Heh.’

I can picture a smug, shit-eating grin on his face right now. You’re just too chicken to kill those warriors and heroes! Because you’re afraid of bad karma!

‘How nit-picking of thee! It is because of my mercy that thy talk is so smoothly progressing!’

Oh, and humble, too!

“It is true. The Lord Holy Dragon slumbers within Yukihisa!”

Arleaf takes the chance and comes to my defense. But that would smell real fishy to strangers if they were told that.

“I get it, I get it. But Arleaf, no matter how close you are to your relatives, you should not speak so freely of this matter. There are heathens who do not believe in our ancestor’s words.”

Wayne warns Arleaf.

“Though it may be credible to me, seeing how I have been cured and how I have seen the crossbow, this isn’t something you should tell everyone.” “I-I understand…”

After all, we are fugitives looking for a way to free this bond to Veno. Not that I don’t trust Arleaf’s relatives, but this certainly isn’t something I’d like everyone knowing.

previously: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /ch029/ /ch030/ /ch031/ /ch032/ /ch033/ /ch034/ /ch035/ /ch036/ /ch037/ /ch038/ /ch039/ /ch040/ /ch041/ /ch042/ /ch043/ /ch044/ /ch045/ /ch046/ /ch047/ /ch048/ /ch049/ /ch050/ /next/

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(check out this new series I’m translating—written by the same author!)

[it-refused]

Title: I’ll Be Home for Gyftmas

Rating: G

Happy Gyftmas, @fleeting-phantasm!  Your prompt was:

Let's see... classic Papyrus and Undyne's friendship brings me all sorts of joy. I'll love just about anything featuring them being the coolest of buds. Preferably pacifist happy times. I'm also a huge fan of the gentlemen monsters like Grillby and dapper!Gaster--could be friends, could be shipped, could be only one character or the other. 

I tried to combine these ideas, so this story is about Papyrus and Undyne working together to figure out what Papyrus should get for his dad Gaster for Gyftmas.  They run into him and Grillby out on a date.  I hope this is something like what you were looking for!

Also, thank you to @undertalesecretsanta for putting all this together!

--

Multicolored lights glittered on the town's enormous Gyftmas tree.  Some traditions held on, even with monsters scattered all over the surface.  If there was monster from Snowdin around, when the weather turned cold, a tree would appear overnight in the center of town.

Papyrus tiptoed towards the tree.  His boots crushed loudly in the snow, but he couldn't see anyone around, so the noise didn't matter.  He drew a few boxes out of his inventory and set them in exactly the correct and most aesthetically pleasing spots beneath the boughs.  

That done, he searched for boxes with his own name on it.  "NYEH-HEH," he whispered, whenever he spotted one.  

He registered a distant rumble, almost like an earthquake.  Undyne must be getting close!  Papyrus hurried back to the house to make sure it was still neat.  Sans was home and it had been five minutes since Papyrus had left, so he could not be entirely sure.  

The rumble turned into the familiar sound of an engine.  He hadn't made it to the house yet when he heard his name shouted, with rapidly increasing volume.  

"UNDYNE!" He spun around in the driveway.  

The car screeched off the road and was headed straight towards him.  Papyrus jumped over it.  Breaks squealed behind him and he could smell burning rubber.  Undyne kicked her car door open and rolled out onto the gravel driveway.

"I AM NOT 100% CERTAIN THAT WAS SAFE!"  Papyrus said.  

"I know!  Cool, right?"  She hopped to her feet.  The car rolled to a stop. "You know what ELSE is cool?"

"HMMM...OH!  IT MUST BE ME!  PAPYRUS!"  He took out a pair of sunglasses and put them on.  Perfect!  

"Yeah," she agreed.  "But, also -"  Undyne grinned, wide.  "SNOW WRESTLING!"

"THAT ISN'T - AUGH!"  Undyne plowed into him at full speed.  His face met snow.  "I LOVE YOU TOO, UNDYNE," he said, his voice muffled.

"Gross!" She laughed.  "I missed you too, though.  I guess."

"REALLY?  OF COURSE YOU MISSED THE GREAT PAPYRUS!  EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE A WIFE AND A NEW JOB TO KEEP YOU BUSY, OF COURSE YOU FOUND YOURSELF TRAGICALLY BEREFT WITHOUT MY CONSTANT PRESENCE."   Tears started to well up in his eye sockets.  He hadn't been worried.  Of course not!  No one could ever forget about him.  

"Yup.  Alphys hates noogies."  Undyne scoffed.  

"I REALLY HATE THEM TOO."

"Let's get inside before I freeze my scales off!"  She yanked him back to his feet.  "And then you can tell me all about...whatever your problem is!"

"OH, WELL. THAT WASN'T...SOMETHING YOU NEEDED TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE TO HELP WITH.  THOUGH OF COURSE I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT!"

She whacked him on his back.  "Of course I did!  Come on!"  She picked him back up off the ground and they went inside.  

Sans was sitting at the kitchen table, eating cereal out of the box.  "hey."

"Look who's up early!"  Undyne said.  "And it's only seven PM!"

"SANS, I DUSTED THE KITCHEN TEN MINUTES AGO, AND NOW THERE ARE CEREAL CRUMBS ON THE TABLE?"

"whoops.  jeez. a guy can tell when he isn't wanted."  Sans wiped away an imaginary tear.  "guess i'll just go."  He stayed where he was and dug further into the box.  "why'd she come over?  it seems kinda...fishy, heh, so close to the holidays."  

"Papyrus is in trouble!"

"IT IS NOT QUITE...THAT DRAMATIC."

Sans stopped chewing.  "man, what's up?  you can tell us."  He offered the box of cereal.

"NO THANK YOU. AND.  I...ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS WITH YOU, SANS.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO GET OUR FATHER FOR GYFTMAS!"

"i gave you a million suggestions, though."

"YOU GAVE ME ONE AND IT WAS A JOKE!  THIS IS HIS FIRST HOLIDAY BACK FROM THE COLD EMPTY VOID, AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE IT IS SPECIAL!  IN THE WAY THAT ONLY THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN!"  Remembering to ask for help when he needed it was how he always managed to stay on top.

"right."  

"What's your weird dad like to do?"  Undyne asked.  

"SPEND TIME WITH ME, PAPYRUS!  AND ALSO SANS.  RIGHT NOW HE IS OUT WITH HIS...DOT DOT DOT...FRIEND.  SO HE ALSO ENJOYS THE COMPANY OF HIS ELLIPSIS FRIEND."  

"also hangs out with his, uh, non italicized pals," Sans said.  "does more of that than talking about stuff he wants to buy.  eh, just get him like...a number one dad hat.  he'll be over the moon."  

"BUT WHAT IF HE AND GRILLBY GET MARRIED AND I SUDDENLY HAVE TWO FATHERS?  I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE A RIFT BETWEEN THEM SO EARLY IN THEIR MARRIAGE!  I WILL LOVE THEM BOTH EQUALLY!"

"it's a pickle, i guess."

"A REAL CONUNDRUM!  A PUZZLE BEFITTING EVEN THE GREAT - "  Papyrus broke off as he watched Sans draw a jar of pickles from his hoodie.  He sighed.  "UNDYNE, YOU HAVE ALREADY SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED GYFTMAS SHOPPING, SO I AM DESPERATELY TURNING TO YOU AND AWAY FROM MY BROTHER IN MY HOUR OF NEED!"  

"I don't blame you!"  Undyne said, laughing.  "Let's get the hell out of here."  She accepted a pickle and skewered it on her fangs while Papyrus rushed off to grab his shopping bag, purse, and an enormous folder filled with holiday coupons.  "SHOTGUN!" she yelled when he got back.  "I'm sick of driving!"  

"you guys better hurry up," Sans said.  "gyftmas is barely a month away.  never expected you to be such a lazybones, bro."

Papyrus slammed the door on the way out.  A minute later he peeked back in and said he probably wouldn't be back in time for dinner and that Sans should remember to eat something healthy.

--

In a small, secluded booth in the back of an aging human bar, the air was hot and still. The only sound was Grillby's gentle crackling.  The noise of him had seemed so loud when Gaster first escaped the void, but now it was just background noise, like the rumble of cars driving by outside or the quiet conversations in the other parts of the bar.

Grillby reached across the table and touched the cool white bone of Gaster's hand.  Gaster smiled, uneven, and leaned in closer.  

"........." Grillby asked him if he needed to get home soon.

Gaster shook his head.  He took back his hand so he could sign.  "[But maybe I should.]"

He could tell Grillby was disappointed from the way his flames seemed to die down slightly, even though he had to be at work himself in a few hours.  

"[Who cares if I should?]" he decided.

The early evening was clear, so they decided to take a walk down the main street.  The local human winter holiday was near the same time as Gyftmas and the stores were decorated.  They weren't the only people out window shopping.  Gaster ignored the humans staring at him and Grillby when they went into a men's clothing store.

He'd spent so long away from anything bright or colorful, he found himself charmed by a display of -  honestly - quite ugly Christmas ties.  Grillby looked from him to the ties and just shook his head.  

"[They Suit You.]"  

"......no."

There was one with an entire inside scene on it.  A beautifully decorated Gyftmas tree stood next to a roaring hearth.  Two dogs slept in front of the fire. All on one tie.  Gaster pointed to that one.

".........no."

"[It's You.]"

"...don't insult me."

Gaster cackled.  He would hate to see Grillby actually wear it, but thinking about how he'd react if he opened a box on Gyftmas Day and found the tie on it was putting him in a good mood.  

Grillby was looking at him like he knew exactly what he was thinking, and didn't approve.

A loud gasp behind them startled them.  Grillby's flames leapt up towards the ceiling and Gaster felt himself sink into a coat rack in an automatic impulse to hide.

"WHAT AN AMAZING COINCIDENCE!"  Gaster couldn't see him, but he recognized Papyrus' voice.

Embarrassed, Gaster emerged from his hiding place.  They'd lucked out this time and Grillby hadn't set off the sprinkler system.  

"Kind of ironic actually!"  Undyne was grinning.

"NO I WOULD NOT SAY IT IS IRONIC AT ALL," Papyrus said, giving her a sharp look.

"OH!  Right, yeah.  Just, a standard, every day coincidence."

"ABSOLUTELY MUNDANE!"

"I'm about to fall asleep thinking about how boring a surprise this was, to run into these guys, here, right now!"  

Grillby nodded at Papyrus, then at Undyne, and then sunk back.  Gaster wasn't sure how to convince him that Papyrus didn't have any problem with them dating, and that Sans was just pretending to disapprove to con Grillby out of free burgers.  

"I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED YOU WERE HERE WHEN I CAME IN THE BUILDING AND IT SMELLED SUSPICIOUSLY OF GREASE!"  Papyrus sounded cheerful, but no wonder Grillby didn't believe him.

"We should get the hell out of here and get something to eat," Undyne said. "You're right.  That smell is making me hungry!"  She aimed her toothy smile at Grillby.  "I want to fill a bathtub with the greasy cheese you use on your fries and just SWIM in it!"

Papyrus shuddered. "SUDDENLY MY APPETITE HAS DISAPPEARED ENTIRELY."

"[Still, as your Father, I am telling you to get something to eat.]" Gaster said. "[You are almost SKIN AND BONES.]"

Papyrus sighed. "THIS IS THE LIFE I HAVE TO LIVE NOW, UNDYNE."  

She patted him on the arm.

"I CAN BARELY STOMACH IT!"  He waved over the open spot between his shirt and his ripped holiday daisy dukes.  "NYEH HEH HEH!"  

Gaster cackled along with him.

"Quit messing around!  I need to rip into something before I pass out!  And we have work to do,"  Undyne said.  "C'mon!"  She grabbed Papyrus by the arm and started to pull him away.

Grillby waved goodbye.  Gaster looked at him and shrugged.

"...gyftmas shopping?"  Grillby guessed.

"[Oh.  That makes sense.]"  

Grillby spotted a display of holiday vests with muted colors and designs compared to the ties.  He hurried over, visibly excited.  

Gaster was too caught up in the excitement of browsing menswear to notice the odd rattling noise that followed the two of them as they walked throughout the store.  

--

Undyne pulled Papyrus out of hearing range and then yanked him down onto the floor behind a shoulder-high slacks display.  She knelt next to him.  "This is PERFECT."

"THERE ARE NUMEROUS RESTAURANTS ON MAIN STREET THAT HAVE HEALTHY AND CALCIUM-RICH MEAL CHOICES," Papyrus said, worried.  He didn't know why they were on the floor, but he assumed Undyne had a reason. She always did, even if her reasons were not, well, always good reasons.  Or, to be more diplomatic, they were not always the quality of reason that Papyrus would expect from someone who used to be head of the royal guard.  That didn't mean he wasn't going to go along with whatever she was planning, however.  

"Shhh, shut up, we aren't eating yet," Undyne said.  "And we have to quit talking about it before I really do get hungry!"

"THIS MUST BE VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE SO RUDE."

"Sorry!  But, it is!  I hatched a plan while we were talking to your old man - like, a really DEVIOUS and CALCULATING one!  I can't wait to tell Alphys about it - she's always getting into those kinds of characters and slapping posters of their faces on our bedroom wall."

"I SEE!"  Papyrus sat up.  "I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU, UNDYNE!"

"I wasn't going to let my friend down!"  She rubbed her knuckles on the top of his skull.  "See, we're going to follow them - and stay really really quiet - and watch what stuff your dad looks interested in! It's perfect, and it's guaranteed that whatever you get him will be a surprise AND he'll want it!"  

"THAT PLAN IS AMAZING!"  Papyrus said, clasping his gyftmas-tree shaped gloves together.  "IT IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE PLAN I WAS CONSIDERING!  AND THEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HUNGRY, SO I THOUGHT WE WERE NOT GOING TO DO IT!  BUT THEN IT JUST TURNED OUT THAT YOU WERE BEING EXTRA DEVIOUS AND TRICKING EVEN ME INTO THINKING IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE THE PLAN!"  

"Uh, right!" Undyne grinned.  "Step one is convincing them we left!"

"CHECK!"

"Step two is, uh...tracking them down in the store without letting them know we're there!"

"HM...THAT WILL BE OF CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY.  LIKE UNTWISTING NOODLES WITHOUT BREAKING A SINGLE STRAND, WE MUST TAKE GREAT CARE AT EVERY STEP.   EVEN ONE OVERLY-LOUD WORD WILL BETRAY US!  AND OUR MISSION!"

"Yeah!  But we can definitely do it!"

"OF COURSE!  FOR I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!  AND YOU ARE...THE NEARLY AS GREAT FRIEND OF PAPYRUS!"

She leaned down. "Ok."  Undyne spoke in a low whisper.  "Let's quit messing around, and get this over with so we can go out and get some burgers."

"OR SOME - " Papyrus broke off and started again, in a whisper.  "OR SOMETHING HEALTHY AND NOT DISGUSTING."  His whisper was the same volume as his regular way of speaking, but he hissed while he spoke.

"Uh...why don't we practice hand signals!  And not say anything once we've started." Undyne snuck out from behind the slacks display and waved for Papyrus to follow.  

Oh!  A hand signal! Papyrus hurried after her, still partially crouched.  A hamster monster wearing a store badge hovered by the display, uneasily watching them.  

"SHH," Papyrus said.  "YOU DID NOT SEE OR HEAR US."

The monster nodded, slowly.  He started folding pants.

--

Grillby could tell they were being followed.  How could anyone miss it?  He turned and gave his incompetent tail a long look, but they seemed to decide that he was looking over their heads.

Gaster was too intent on deciding between three different hats, and didn't seem to notice.  

"......Gaster."

"[SHHHH.  NOT NOW.]"

Fine.  Grillby was more annoyed at Gaster shushing him than he was at being followed.  He decided to keep it to himself.  

"[I think this one suits you,]" Gaster said.  He took a white panama hat off the display and set it on Grillby's burning head.  

"...I don't like hats."  The irritation faded away, now that he knew Gaster was looking at something for him.  He removed it and set it back.  He wasn't going to burn it, but the people working there were uneasy about him trying things on.  He didn't want to make their day more difficult than it had to be during the holiday season.  

"[A shame.]"

Grillby glanced at Papyrus, who was peering out from inside a circular rack of coats. "...do you like any of them for yourself?"

Gaster shook his head, and then seemed to reconsider.  He tried on a few more.  

Grillby waited until Gaster was staring at himself in the mirror, and then he turned towards Papyrus and pointed at the hat on Gaster's head.  He gave a single stoic nod.  

He thought that pointing out a gift would get Papyrus to leave him and Gaster alone. He gave up on that idea after half an hour.  He caught a glimpse of some paper in Papyrus' hand.  

"[Are you bored?]"  Gaster signed.  "[Usually you enjoy this.]"

"......I feel like we're being watched."  

Gaster gave him as serious a look as his odd features could manage.  He touched Grillby on the arm. "[Do not let the humans get to you.]"

Grillby sighed. "......I won't."

"[But let's continue this when there is no crowd.]"

He nodded.

"[I wonder where my son went to eat?]"  Gaster took out his phone and started to call.

For a second, Grillby heard a ringtone, and then the sound was gone.  Grillby looked up and thought he saw something small flying through the air towards the back of the store.  

"[No answer.]"

"...if they went, they'd be done by now."

"[True.  But he always answers in two rings.]"  Gaster shook his head.  "[Except when his battery dies.]"

"...it's normal to worry, but...I'm sure he is fine."

Gaster gave him a crooked smile and nodded.  

A rack of clothes tipped over and Papyrus burst out of the mess.  "MY APOLOGIES FOR MISSING YOUR CALL, FATHER!  I THINK UNDYNE...DROPPED MY PHONE SOMEPLACE IN THIS STORE!  ...DID YOU SEE IT?"

"[How did you -]"

"I......HEARD YOU TALKING AS I WALKED BY!  THIS STORY SURE IS BELIEVABLE...IS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW!"

"I believe it!" Undyne said, popping out of the clothes on the floor.  "Hey, why don't you call his phone again, so we can see if we can track the ring tone!"

"BRILLIANT IDEA, UNDYNE!"  

Gaster shrugged. "[Let us all get something to eat after we find it.]"

"Great!  I could still eat like a thousand burgers," Undyne said.  

Grillby covered his face with his hands.  "...yes.  Let's just...leave."  

"[Grillby is shy around these humans,]" Gaster explained.  

"I WAS NOT AWARE THAT GRILLBY WAS SHY!  IT MUST BE DIFFICULT TO FULFILL SUCH A SOCIAL ROLE, AS A BARTENDER!  GRILLBY, I HAVE NEWFOUND RESPECT FOR YOU AND I AM HAPPY YOU ARE TRYING SO HARD TO OVERCOME YOUR LIMITATIONS."

"...thank you." Grillby was not used to being called "shy."  "...sometimes people are difficult."  That was true, at least.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"[Grillby thanked you.]"

"IT WAS THE VERY LEAST I COULD DO, BUT I AM AWARE THAT IT WAS STILL A LOT.  SINCE EVERYTHING I DO IS TINGED WITH GREATNESS."

They all went and got burgers over Papyrus' loud objections.  Papyrus ordered a salad and a milkshake and complained about the overpowering grease smell.  

After Undyne polished off her weight in hamburgers and cheese fries, she tossed some money on the table.  "I still have a billion errands to run!  Thanks for the food, though."

Papyrus looked confused.  "I THOUGHT WE WERE--"

Undyne elbowed his head.  

"--AH, YES!  I REMEMBER NOW.  THANK YOU FOR...KNOCKING MY MEMORY LOOSE FOR ME, UNDYNE."  He narrowed his eye sockets.  "AND WE SHOULD...STOP INTERRUPTING YOUR DATE!  THERE ARE MANY STEPS FROM FRIEND TO BOYFRIEND TO BECOMING THE STEP FATHER OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND I WOULD NOT WANT TO DELAY IT EVEN FOR A MINUTE."

"Oh my god, Papyrus, let's just go!"  

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M SUGGESTING!"

Grillby watched them run out of the building.  Through the large pane glass window, he saw them hurry right back into the store they'd just left.  He looked back at Gaster, and noticed he was obliviously fussing with his phone.

"......I'm tired," Grillby said.  He still had a full night of work ahead of him.

"[Let me take you back home.]"

Grillby nodded.  He liked when they walked together, and he could make sure Gaster didn't get too cold.  He kept his arm over Gaster's shoulders.

--

Gaster was singing.

It was more like humming, with a strange high staticy buzz that almost seemed to form words when Undyne concentrated.  He signed along with his humming.

"[OH.  THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL.]"

Grillby was next to him in a neat green sweater.  Someone (Sans) had stuck several bows to his back, and he hadn't noticed.  There was also one stuck to the side of his glasses that he had noticed, but he had left it where it was.  

"[BUT THE FIRE IS SO DELIGHTFUL.]"  

Grillby tinged blue under his glasses.  He playfully pushed Gaster away.  

Papyrus kicked open the kitchen door and burst in, carrying an enormous fruit cake on a silver platter.  "AND SINCE THERE'S NO PLACE TO GO,"  He sang.  

Sans, dozing on the couch next to Undyne, mumbled along with the last line.  "let it snow."

"LET IT SNOW!"

"[LET IT SNOW.]

That was freaking adorable.  Undyne wanted to punch the couch cushions into fluff. Gaster leaned towards Grillby and blinked at him like he was trying to bat his non-existent eyelashes.  Grillby turned even more blue and gave him a very quick smooch.  

"Alphys!"   Undyne turned away from boring Sans towards the love of her life, on her other side.

Alphys was in the middle of chugging a mug full of alcoholic cider.  She coughed and said, "Uh...Undyne!  Y-yes?"

"This place is so FULL of the holiday spirit, it feels like it's going to EXPLODE with it any minute now!  We have to open presents before it's too late!"

Alphys laughed. "It's a real emergency!"  

"I need you to see what I got you!"  Undyne sighed.  Toriel was still in the kitchen with Frisk.

"W-well...how about we give each other...a tiny present beforehand?  To, uh, release some of the pressure?  I can go first."

"WHAT YOU ARE DISCUSSING SOUNDS VERY ILLEGAL," Papyrus commented, but he didn't appear to be particularly bothered.

"Lay it on me!" Undyne said.  She held out her hand, assuming Alphys had whatever small gift it was in her inventory.

"Uh...ok. I'll...just..."  She turned red and took Undyne's hand.  Alphys' glasses fogged up in embarrassment as she gave Undyne's fingers a quick smooch.  

"HEY!" Undyne grinned.  "No fair giving me the best present first!  And I got you the same thing, too, which TOTALLY ruins the surprise!"

They kept each other distracted until it was time to open their other, easier to wrap presents.  

This was Gaster's first Gyftmas since his return, so Undyne wasn't surprised when present opening got slogged down during his turn.  She settled in.

"your turn, bro," Sans said, after Gaster had opened his poorly wrapped gag gift. 

"I WILL RETURN SHORTLY!"  Papyrus fled the room and Undyne jumped up to help.  

He had ten different boxes, and nothing was breakable, but she didn't want him flinging them around the house after she'd helped him pick them out.  They ran back and dumped the whole load of them onto Gaster's lap.  His lap wasn't large enough to hold them, so a couple rolled over to Grillby.

"man, don't sell yourself short," Sans said.  "carrying all those was a tall order."

"YES I SUPPOSE I DID RETURN TALL-Y," Papyrus allowed.  

"[What is all this?]"  Gaster asked.  He opened the first box he put his hands on and took out a soft black turtleneck.  Papyrus had written "NUMBER ONE GASTER" in glittering fabric paint on it, instead of the preferable but risky "NUMBER ONE DAD."  "[Oh.  That is very sweet.  Thank you.]"

The next box had the dapper looking hat they had watched him seriously consider. Papyrus had written "COOL DAD" on this one.  One by one, Gaster removed each of the items of clothing from their wrapping, and held them up to show off the slogans Papyrus had painted on.  Undyne couldn't tell from Gaster's face how he felt about them.  

He finally noticed the card, lost in all the boxes, taped to some now loose wrapping paper.  Gaster opened it up and seemed to read over it a few times before setting it down.  Black globular tears started to pour out of his eye sockets and Grillby shuffled away and held out a handkerchief to him at a safe distance.  "[THANK YOU, SON.]"  He sniffed and blew into the handkerchief.

They passed the card around, but Undyne didn't have to read it.  She'd sat by while Papyrus paced around trying to figure out the correct wording, and she'd giving him her reassurances that he was saying the right thing.

FATHER,

I CANNOT IMAGINE A BETTER PRESENT FOR MYSELF THAN HAVING YOU WITH US FOR GYFTMAS THIS YEAR.  I HOPE ALL THESE GIFTS ARE ENOUGH TO SHOW MY GRATITUDE.

PAPYRUS

Toriel opened her presents next, to give Gaster a little time to settle down, and Grillby shifted back over to sit right next to him.  He said something, quiet, and Gaster rested his head on Grillby's shoulder.

Undyne watched Grillby quietly set a box in Gaster's hand, and Gaster took out his own gift and handed it to Grillby.  Undyne looked away and gave them a moment of privacy to exchange their gifts.  

-

The adults had all had a little too much cider by the time the last gift was opened and properly cooed over.  Undyne crumpled up the wrapping paper into one huge ball and left to slam dunk it into the outside garbage.

Papyrus thought she was taking a little too long.  He found her in the kitchen with a mouth stuffed full of Toriel's famous snail puffs that she too-rapidly swallowed when Papyrus opened the door.  

"Hey!"  she said, voice raspy, tears leaking out the corner of her eye.

"GYFTMAS IS A VERY EMOTIONAL HOLIDAY FOR EVERYONE," Papyrus said.

"Y-yeah!" Undyne said, coughing.  "Man, I don't know what it is with booze, but I want to eat half the food in this house, and right now!"

Papyrus didn't like to hear that anyone was hungry around him, so he let her have some of the chips from one of the bags Sans always seemed to open but was always too lazy to finish.  This way, she wouldn't be eating food that was meant for later.  No one wanted to see Toriel in a bad mood.

"UNDYNE.  I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR COMING BY SO QUICKLY TO HELP ME WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST," Papyrus said.  "I THINK IT MUST HAVE BEEN FATE, BECAUSE I DOUBT ANY OTHER TIME WE WOULD HAVE RUN INTO THEM."

"I mean, they go into that exact store all the time.  That's why you thought you'd find something he liked there."

"YES!  THE TIDES OF FATE WERE IN OUR FAVOR, AND IT WAS WITH YOUR AID THAT I WAS ABLE TO MAKE THIS THE BEST GYFTMAS EVER.  IN QUITE LIKELY THE ENTIRE WORLD.  FOR ANYONE."

"Yeah, it was really great.  Man, Papyrus, you've been a really good friend, you know?"  She crumpled up the chip bag and tossed it.  It landed in the trash can without hitting the sides.  "And now I'm getting emotional!  What the hell!  It's gotta be the booze!  What did she put in this stuff?"

"YOU ARE FEELING EMOTIONAL BECAUSE YOU RIGHTFULLY LOVE ME VERY MUCH," Papyrus said.  "IT'S OKAY!  LET IT ALL OUT!"  He gave her a hug.

She sniffed, just once, and then hugged him back so hard he felt something crack.  "Of course I love you, you gangly nerd!"

"OH NO!  NOW THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY EYE SOCKETS!"

"Like you said!  Let it all out!"

Papyrus cried on her shoulder and loudly blew his nose hole on the wad of paper towels she handed to him.  "I NEVER IMAGINED I WOULD HAVE SO MANY GOOD FRIENDS.  WELL.  I MEAN, I IMAGINED, OF COURSE, BUT...IT IS BETTER THAN I IMAGINED!  AND YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND OF THEM ALL.  THE GREATEST AMONGST THOSE WHO ARE GREAT ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERED A LIFELONG COMPANION OF SOMEONE SUCH AS ME."

"Wow, Papyrus." She laughed.  "You sap!  Let's get back to the party before we start to get weird about it."

"YOU'RE THE FETTUCCINE TO MY ALFREDO," Papyrus said.

"Yeah, that's it.  I'll spaghetti your bolognese if we don't get back to the party."  

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.  BUT IT SOUNDS NICE!"

"Well, it sure isn't!"  

There was a half-tipsy cheer when the two of them returned to the crowded living room.