#its sad because it took them that fucking long to realize

[dead-girl-tells-stories]

Jazz, for some reason or the other, becomes a wielder of a red lantern ring. After going on her rampage and getting her revenge, she realizes that the feeling of rage won't go away. Instead of letting the anger destroy her, she decided to do something else with it.

That's how we end up with a stand-off between Hal Jordan and the most powerful Red Lantern he's ever seen. Because...

"What... what did you just say?"

The young woman smiled gently at him. He would've been fooled by it if not for the burning rage carefully hidden... No, she wasn't hiding anything behind those turquoise eyes. It was taking everything she had to hold it back.

"I said that I would like to join The Justice League." Her voice was soft and velvety. Comforting in a way that sends chills up his spine.

"But you're a Red Lantern."

There was a beat of silence, she cocked her head to the side while looking at the blood-red ring on her finger.

"I don't know what that means, but I'm guessing it's got something to do with this ring?"

Hal didn't respond but she took it as confirmation. There was silence between them once more before Jasmine sighed and continued.

"I feel angry, more than angry. This rage that I've been holding inside for so long has reached its limits and is finally bubbling over. Everything that I loved is gone so killed what took it away from me. But... but I'm still SO FUCKING ANGRY!"

She was screaming now. Tears of rage and sadness rolled down her cheeks as violent red energy radiated from her being. Hal flew back. He didn't want to fight her but was ready to do so if it came to it.

Just as easily as she lost it she pulled herself together, wiping her tears away, returning to her previously calm demeanor. It freaked Hal out.

"I... I know that blind rage without direction leads to meaningless destruction. I don't want to hurt anybody. No... I don't want to hurt the wrong people. I'm asking you to guide me, to guide my rage in the right direction... Please."

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ SORCERY SCHEMES — GETO SUGURU.

contents. non sorcery au!, husband! suguru, gn! reader, nanako and mimiko are still your kids, silly lil shenanigans of cult leader! suguru being in your dreams

suguru has been the source of your anger for lots of things over the years. some fair, others not so much.

that one important date he accidentally missed because he got caught up at work. that time you vented and he tried to tell you to toughen up instead of picking your side. that time he accidentally shrunk your favorite sweater in the laundry. that time he fell asleep while you were talking late at night (he had insisted he was tired, in his defense—you were just too stubborn to let him sleep.)

marriage has its ups and downs, but suguru likes to think you’re a strong couple—but this? this is the most outrageously ridiculous reason to be mad at him—he’s simply at a loss.

“so let me get this straight,” he starts slowly, as if trying to comprehend something far too complex for his simple mind, “you’re mad at me because i had some superpowers in your dream—”

“it was sorcery,” you hiss, “were you even listening?”

“right. sorry. i was…a sorcerer,” he apologizes. he looks at you like you’re insane—your eye twitches just a little. “and then suddenly i went crazy in the head and killed a village and adopted nanako and mimiko and…left. to basically cleanse an entire demographic. is that right?”

“you had a cult too.”

“and the cult,” he nods slowly, “can’t forget the cult.”

“yeah,” you glower—if looks could kill, suguru thinks he might have never been born at all. this is a new one, he has to admit. “and it was really fucking rude. you left. and you took the kids before i could even meet them.”

“okay,” he says tiredly, rubbing his forehead, “baby, i don’t know if you realize this, but i don’t…i can’t perform sorcery. and i don’t have a cult i can lead either. i’m just a literature teacher—”

“i know what you are,” you snap, shoving away the hand he tries to reach at you with, “you’re a selfish psychopath who committed heinous crimes and left me single and alone as you led a group of people to follow your crazy ideas. don’t even think about touching me—”

“so do you want me to apologize?” he sighs, “because i’m sorry—”

“what if i left you? huh? and just started killing everyone who has blue eyes? what then? i’ll take the kids this time and leave you alone, see how you like it.”

“well, at least that gets rid of satoru,” he mutters quietly. and then he grins—chuckles a soft little laugh that makes the edges of your lips curl just a bit. “you’re crazy,” he snorts, shaking his head. and then— “but i love you. c’mere.”

you don’t fight the hand the reaches towards you this time, letting his arm curl around your waist and pull you into his side. that’s a good sign, he thinks, so he tests the waters and plants a kiss to your head. you melt just a little.

“i’m still mad at you,” you mumble.

“yeah, i figured,” he grins, “anything i can do to erase my sins as a mass murderer?”

“you can make breakfast,” you hum, leaning closer as you rub circles into his chest, “and wash the dishes.”

“easy enough,” he nods, pulling a scowl from you.

“you’re not off the hook yet,” you click your teeth.

“of course,” he nods in agreement, “i still have to atone for my radical actions. i’ll start by resurrecting all the people i killed. that should do it, right?”

“suguru, be serious,” you huff, “i was very sad, okay?”

“did you miss me?” he wriggles his brows—you look at him incredulously before slapping his chest. he chuckles a little too long for your liking.

“what a stupid question,” you pinch your nose, “so if i became delusional and ran off to erase a population, you wouldn’t be upset with me?”

“actually, i’d follow you because i love you,” he shrugs, pinching your nose lightly, “i’d be your cult’s second-in-command. obviously you just didn’t love me enough in your dream to do the same for me.”

“you didn’t invite me,” you pout through a glare, “what was i supposed to do? show up unwelcome?”

“well, nothing was stopping you. was i at least a strong sorcerer?” he asks in wonder.

you think for a moment before nodding. “yeah,” you say thoughtfully, “one of the strongest.”

“nice,” he grins—he seems a bit too pleased for something that happened in your dreams.

you decide to deal the harsh blow. “but not nearly as strong as satoru. you know he was the literally the strongest?”

“okay,” he scowls, “if you do kill blue-eyed people, start with him.”

you giggle, leaning up to kiss his jaw as he lets a soft grin pull over his features. he laughs with you—and suddenly, you’re both chuckling together uncontrollably.

it’s a bit of a silly circumstance, but he kisses your forehead and means it when he says, “sorry i left you to kill people and led a cult and committed a bunch of crimes while i wiped out a whole group of people. i didn’t mean it.”

“you took the kids too,” you remind him.

“i don’t know what i was thinking,” he shakes his head, “those two are a handful. how was i managing being a single father with all that on my plate?”

“that’s why you shouldn’t have left me,” you point out.

“you’re right,” he agrees, “i’ll invite you if i ever snap and lose my sanity.”

“good. you’re forgiven. now, i want chocolate chip pancakes—and make coffee while you’re at it.”

“yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes. he kisses you though, a soft little peck over your lips as you hum into the kiss and cup his cheek, “you got it. whatever you want.”

“i want you,” you murmur, “unhinged sorcerer and all.”

he laughs at the craziness of it all—but he loves it anyway, loves you despite it all.

“and i want you too,” he grins, hopelessly in love, “if you’ll do me the honors and join my crazy sorcery schemes.”

hi i’m tee and i had a dream that my rude ass sister stole my car and totaled it and now im very mad at her and i am not speaking to her until she apologizes. she refuses so im now double mad

[meazalykov]

the video

aitana bonmati x barca femeni x barca!reader

summary: on international break- a video circulates online that will cause your girlfriend, and club teammates, to be concerned

warnings: mentions of abuse, angst

on international break, you clashed with your coach over a situation. 

you’ve realized that your national team coach was being overly aggressive towards some of the younger players– the 18 to 22 year old ones. 

as the captain, you gave them a safe space to talk to you about it. you had the platform– as a 2020 ballon d’or winner, and 2 time champions league winner– to speak up about any situation that is bothering you. 

even if that might piss off the “higher ups” of your national team. 

after seeing your coach nearly scream, not yell, but scream at one of the youngsters on the team for not making a header during an international friendly.. you had enough. 

you pulled your coach to the side and confronted him at halftime.

 

“hey, why did you scream at her over the failed set piece? its her debut?” 

“don’t question me about my corrections.” he mumbled, looking away from you and waving at another staff member yards away. 

“i will! you can’t scream at the players about their mistakes, it's affecting the team chemistry and they need to be nurtured into having experience– not screamed at. you can see that they’re SCARED to even come to training because of this.” you snapped.

this has happened for long enough. 

little did you know, a few people in the distance were recording this interaction between your coach and you. 

what shocked them was when the coach grabbed your arm, aggressively, and pulled you close to him so you’re just 3 feet from the left side of his body. 

he squeezed your arm, purposely, which caused your face to squeeze as his physical assault caught you off guard. 

“listen, you do NOT question me about my coaching! maybe if she scored that, she wouldn’t have been punished!” he said through clenched teeth, staring at you with darkened eyes and a vein nearly popping out of his forehead.

realizing that you wouldn’t let him do this to you, you smacked his hand off of your arm and sprinted off– completely shocked that he would do that to you. 

the people who recorded the interaction sent the video to all news publications afterwards– the new york times, bbc, foxsports, tmz, 433– you name it. 

at the end of the game, where you were benched after that confrontation before the start of the second half, everyone booed the coach. 

everyone was confused– even you. at first, you assumed that your own country was booing you guys. that didn’t make sense– you guys won 3-2. 

once you guys were in the dressing room, all of the fifa officials took your coach away to talk to him. 

you had no idea that people recorded that assault that happened to you. some of your teammates noticed the red mark on your arm and the quietness of your voice– so they figured it had to do with the coach. 

“y/n..” you turn around to see the young midfielder behind you with a sad smile. 

the same 17 year old girl you defended after she was screamed over a missed header. 

“hey! congrats on today.” you pulled her into a soft hug, rubbed her upper back before pulling away. 

“thank you.” she smiled. 

you couldn’t resent her for the moment between the coach and you– he is the problem not her. 

when the national team got on the bus, the coach wasn’t there. the nice assistant coach (who has fallen to the main coaches abuse too) took his place. 

your eyebrows knitted together as you saw a notification from your barcelona teammate and close friend– alexia. 

ale 

WHAT THE FUCK? 

ale 

are you okay?!! 

y/n 

i am? 

y/n 

what's going on!?

ale

there’s a video on the internet

alex 

instagram.com/justwomensports….

when you clicked on the link, your face turned pale. 

many people have recorded the moment between the coach and you from hours before. 

you looked strong at first, until he grabbed your arm. the terrified look on your face was present until you smacked his arm away. 

to say that the media was in an outrage– that would be an understatement. 

almost every news publication has posted about it. there was no possible way that the coach wouldn’t be sacked for the amount of negative attention this has brought. 

you didn’t want to imagine how aitana, your girlfriend, is reacting to the situation– as she keeps calling you over-and-over again.  

y/n 

tana, i’ll call you once i’m back in the hotel. i will explain. 

aitana

i should kill him 

aitana

are you okay mi amor? 

y/n

i don’t know

y/n 

i think my mind is trying to supress it, but i can’t explain how i feel 

aitana

please call me asap 

when you clicked off of your imessages– mapi texted you in the groupchat between ingrid, her, and you. 

mapi 

y/n are you active? 

y/n

yes, hi!

mapi

do you want me to kill that pos? 

you giggle at the message- not because you want to see him dead- but the barcelona girls have their extreme way with defending their loved ones. 

ingrid

maybe you shouldn’t threaten ppl mapi 

ingrid

especially not now

ingrid

y/n please tell me you’re okay 

mapi

or will be okay? 

y/n 

i don’t know how to feel about it

y/n 

it happened so fast 

y/n 

i think my brain isn’t trying to process it. i’m scared

ingrid

call aitana

y/n

i am once i’m back in the hotel, i’m on the bus with the team right now. 

after turning your phone off and looking at your phone, your national teammates on the bus were very quiet. 

as they’re scrolling on their phones– they’re understanding why the mean coach isn’t on the bus anymore.

 your best friend on your national team taps your shoulder and you look over at her, seeing that she finished watching the video. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?” she mumbles very quietly as she gives you a heartbroken look. 

“when did this happen?” she asked. 

“at halftime, remember when i had to pull him outside of the dressing room to talk to him..” you say. 

your best friend frowns before pulling your head into her body for a hug. 

“is this why you were benched once the game started again?” she whispers. 

“i believe so.” 

one thing that everyone knew– your girlfriend in spain wasn’t going to let *that* slide. 

the next day-- your 2023 ballon d’or winner girlfriend scored a goal in a game against another country.. she held up two fingers on her left hand and one finger on her right, dedicating her golozo for you. since you wore the number 12 on your club and national teams.

next, an important post on instagram spoke up about abuse in the community. a post that went viral alongside your situation.

aitana was quick to repost it on her story– bringing more support for you as you struggled with that traumatic moment. 

before you came back to barcelona a week later, you told the “higher-ups” of your national team that if your coach stays, you would retire from international football. 

you are 24 years old, so that is an extreme ultimatum. 

they couldn’t afford to lose you, one of the best players in the world. 

the coach was sacked, charged for assault, and you are happy about it. 

in barcelona, most of the girls came to your apartment to comfort you. 

alexia, her girlfriend olga, ingrid, mapi, esmee, fridolina, patri, caroline, marta, and jana were all there to give you support. 

you cried for the first time about it since the incident occurred. never in your life were you treated that way. 

once the girls left your house hours later, aitana stayed. well– you guys lived together so it wasn’t an option for her to leave. 

with aitana, you told more details about the things you’ve seen the coach do to the team. the way he ruined the chemistry and motivation of the girls is something you’re prepared to fix with the new coach coming onto the national team. 

she cuddles you and plays with your hair as you talk. refusing to leave your side for a while. 

the spanish national team had their own problems, which you know about, so aitana is able to help you as you help her through her problems too.

aitana and your club teammates vows to never let someone hurt you like that again. 

authors note: this has been in my drafts for over a month.

my master list is linked here if you want to read more fics <3

[rosenclaws]

Worst!Logan x Angel!Fem!Reader where the reader comforts Logan at the most random of times. Whether he may be at his worst, or at his best, he still appreciates the gesture, because the reader being the angel mutant she is, she can’t help but be there for him, as he radiates energy that feeds off sadness and guilt? I’d appreciate it,, but if not that’s alright!!

what you deserve || Worst!Logan x Angel!reader

warnings: logan not accepting his feelings as usual, a little angst, fluffy ending

a/n: thank you sm for requesting this! I had a blast writing it and I love the idea of angel!reader who just dotes and loves Logan he deserves it.

The first thing Logan had to get used to in this new world was his loud mouth, annoying, and very punchable roommate. The second thing he had to get used to was his next door neighbor who might be the kindest woman he's ever met. You have to be if you're friends with Wade.

You literally brightened a room by stepping in it.

The first time you came to dinner he felt a change in the air, it confused him at first. Until you took off your coat and your bright white wings were on display. They were hugged tightly against your back but he could still see them. He was mesmerized by them.

They looked so soft. He would watch you from the corner of the apartment, lifting peoples spirits with a simple conversation. He didn't expect you to even look his direction, why would you? You're an angel and he's...well he's wolverine. A grumpy, feral drunk with no light left to give.

"Hi Logan," He looks up to see you standing in front of him, holding out another beer for him. He looks down to see that his bottle was empty, he hadn't even noticed.

"Hi." He says shortly as he takes the new bottle. Silence falls between the two of you as Logan racks his brain for anything to say.

"You mind if I stay here?" You ask. He shrugs his shoulders and takes a sip of his drink.

"M'not great company." He's not the life of the party kind of guy, if anything he's the one to bring down the party. A raincloud slowly casting its shadow over the room.

"That's okay, I just want to be here." And you do. You sit with him for the rest of the party.

Only making small comments here and there that make Logan laugh, or he makes a noise that sounds like amusement so you'll take it. It's weird to Logan, why would you ever want to just sit quietly next to him of all people. But it's oddly comforting. Sometimes your hands would brush and he could feel a spark shoot through him. The party carries on but the two of you remain, and Logan likes it that way.

After that day you just kept popping up in his life. Always making an effort to be kind to him which he just couldn't understand. Doing nice things for him, complimenting him, for fucks sake you would bring him breakfast almost every morning.

It was unbearable how nice you were to him and yet he never wanted it to stop. He loved every damn minute of it whether he would admit it or not. To have someone care about him so much, he hasn't had this in a long time. But he stays in denial, not ready to face the facts of what he might be feeling. Not yet.

Logan realizes he's well and truly fucked when you find him drinking his sorrows away, again. Some days are better than others but today was just the fucking worst. Doesn't matter he's in another world. It was the day. The night it happened. Falling back to old habits was too easy for him as he sat at the bar stool, ordering drink after drink.

"Logan?" He hears your soft voice from behind him and he tightens the grip on his drink.

"Fucking great," He mumbles as he downs the rest of his drink and puts the glass on the table. He tries to order another but the bartender cuts him off. Not like he can really get drunk anyways with his healing but they cut him off anyway.

"Are you okay?" You place a hand on his arm but he shakes it off.

"Just fine." He gets off the stool and starts to leave but you grab onto his arm.

“Jesus christ just fuck off will you!” He snaps as he tugs his arm out of your grip.

Guilt creeps up on him as he sees your face fall but he turns around and keeps walking. He can't do it anymore, he doesn't deserve your kindness. His super human abilities leads him to be much faster than you. With a huff you take off your jacket and fly up into the air. Landing right in front of him.

"Will you stop it!" You cross your arms as you block his path with your wings.

"I just want to help."

"Well I don't need your help. I never wanted your help but you just had to stick yourself to me. You did that. Not me." He tries to push past you but your wings are strong and even if he's upset he doesn't want to hurt you.

"I did it because you needed it Logan, you may try and hide it but I can tell." You place your hand on his cheek and he sighs.

"You have such a sad aura, so much grief, so much guilt. I couldn't just stand there and let you think that you deserved all of that." Logan smiles sadly. A sad shake of his head as he takes your hand off his cheek.

"Of course, pity the old man huh? Always knew you were too good to me."

How could ever think you felt, that way about him. How could you ever love him, like he...like he loves you.

It hits like a cold splash of water, sobering him up in an instant. The hurt that radiates from him makes you frown as you try to comfort him but he just shakes his head. God he was infuriating sometimes. You can't take it anymore, you can't bare the guilt and anger that radiates off him.

"Just shut up will you!" He's taken back by your frustration. Your wings fold back in as you step closer to him.

"Yes I could sense your pain but I didn't help out of pity Logan, I helped because you deserve to be happy. Because underneath all that pain is a man who deserves to be loved." You lean closer to him, his breath hitches as you kiss him gently.

Your hands cupping his face as your wings slowly wrap around him, covering the two of you in a shroud of privacy.

"So pretty." He mumbles as he pulls back, looking into your eyes deeply before crashing his lips back onto yours. His hands wrap around your waist as nips at your lips making you gasp.

His fingers dig into your sides as he deepens the kiss, passionate and fuck he couldn't get enough of you. Your hands slide down to his chest as he pushes you gently against the nearest wall. When he finally breaks the kiss you keep a tight hold onto his shirt.

"Always so sweet to me angel," You snort and roll your eyes.

"Angel? Real original." You tease.

"Mm, fits though doesn't it." Your wings fold back into themselves as Logan runs his hands along the edge of them.

"Come back home with me, let me show you how sweet I can be yeah?" You smile as you feel the sadness disappearing around him, shrinking back as a new, warmer emotion seeps into the air.

"Take me home Logan." Leaning in you kiss cheek, hoping that one day all the bad feelings will be gone for good and with you by his side, he thinks they will.

[serejae]

SO STUPID IN LOVE | M.JH

a lonely jaehyun meets you, ask you to marry him because hes just so stupid (in love)

-

“im gonna smack that pout off your face” sungho scoffed as jaehyun slumped against the sticky diner booth. “are you seriously bullying a sad man?” he replied

“no im bullying a loser, its been a year. you really need to get over her, she dumped you and wasnt good for you. i just dont get why youre so stuck on her”

jaehyun huffed again and rested his head in his hands “she was just different, i imagined my life with her…i was ready to marry her sungho, i dont know what i did”

his friend leaned back in his seat taking in the sight and sighed “lets find you someone, youre never gonna find someone if you keep moping around like this”

“but who-“

“are you guys ready to order?”

the two men looked up at you and jaehyuns mouth opened a bit before he closed it and sat up fixing his posture, sungho looked over at jaehyun and raised his eyebrow before ordering leaving jaehyun to order next

“i…uhm, can i get more time?”

you smiled and nodded before walking away to get their waters

“would you call me crazy if i asked them to marry me?” he whispered leaning close to sungho

sungho spitted out his drink all over jaehyuns face making him shriek

“dude what the fuck” jaehyun screamed while standing up

the diner went silent making him look around

“sorry…”

you ran over to the table and saw the water all over the table as well as a wet jaehyun

“oh my gosh are you both okay? do you need anything?” you said looking around clearly panicked

“marry me, will you marry me?” jaehyun asked while staring at you making the diner gasp

“excuse me?” you tilted your head slightly smiling at the situation, a man covered in water was asking you to marry him

“i know its random but do you have a partner?” he asked grinning at you

you shook your head no before looking down at your watch

“i get off now…if you wanna get married”

jaehyuns smile grew bigger as he took your hand and walked out the diner with you as sungho yelled for jaehyun as he expected him to pay the bill

you both walked as you talked about your hopes and dreams, and as you spoke jaehyun turned to look at you as you continued to walk. dont get him wrong, he was listening, just very slowly. your words seem to come out slower, something about you made his heart rate slow down yet quicken. without a thought he reached to hold your hand, he still looked at you

you looked down at his hand with furrowed brows making jaehyun let go in fear you were uncomfortable

“no, no!” you laughed understanding why he let go

“your hands are just pretty sweaty”

he looked at his hands and saw how sweaty they were, he chuckled softly with a hint of blush on his face from embarrassment

“can i ask you something though?” you said quietly in the empty city, jaehyun thought this was so romantic, just you two in a beautiful city

“yes” he started

“yes, i want to kiss you” he smiled at you

“oh. i was just asking where are we…?”

jaehyun shook his head quickly bringing himself back onto earth. he looked around and saw the unfamiliar sight. you two have been walking for so long unbothered by your surroundings that you now dont know where or what your surrounded by

realizing how much he fucked up he groaned and let out quick apologies as he pulls out his phone to try and find a solution. hes met with your laughter that makes him turn to you

“we can just use google maps and walk, you can drop me off at my house”

he nodded immediately still feeling guilty

noticing his expression, you held his still sweaty hand and smiled at him. “i had a great day today with you. it was unexpected but i really enjoyed talking and getting to know you” he blushed again as his smile grew bigger. “you mean it?” you nodded as he let out a little giggle

-

you both continued to walk to your house but slowly

drip

drip

drip

shit it was raining.

like instinct, jaehyun took off the jacket he had as he put it over you two holding it with one hand, and not letting your hand go in the other. you both ran back to your place with a collection of laughter and banter

so when it ended and you both got to your door, jaehyun stared at you and you stared at him not wanting the night to end

you opened your mouth to speak but he opened his at the same time. you both closed your mouths to let the other speak but were not in a awkward situation

“i really wanna see you again”

“i really want to kiss you”

he immediately covered his mouth as his sentence was not as romantic as yours, but you were quicker. you moved his hand and held his face before leaning in to kiss him

and as quick as he covered his mouth, he kissed you back as he held your hand

maybe he wasn’t the only one stupid in love

“do you still wanna get married?”

[fellthemarvelous]

Holy forking shirtballs

I'm choosing violence today. I started this on Twitter, but I'm going to finish my thoughts here like I always do.

But what really blows my mind the most is the way that people look at Aziraphale's "choice" at the end, as if he had one to fucking begin with.

I'm sorry, but Aziraphale knows how messed up Heaven is. He told The Metatron, more than once, that he did not want to go back to Heaven! We can debate what each of us means by "choice" all night because my "choice" and your "choice" might be two different concepts. He could have been strong armed by The Metatron or he could have looked at where things were headed and realized he had no choice but to intervene himself.

You need to ask yourself what Aziraphale has a moral imperative to do.

What do we owe to each other?

Seriously, if you have not watched The Good Place, I recommend you go and watch it, because it absolutely shaped how I've viewed Good Omens 2 since its release.

My levels of frustration with the bad faith mischaracterizations of Aziraphale are off the charts. If you are blaming him for everything, implying that he should have to grovel and that Crowley has a right to hurt him back, you have missed the point of Good Omens entirely.

I defend Aziraphale, but I don't think one of them is more right or wrong than the other. They're equals. They're a group of the two of them, acting and reacting to each other throughout history. They're Alpha Centauri.

I cannot even begin to explain how fucking devastated I felt when Crowley said these words, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. What he said took a lot of courage because he's finally admitting something they've both been too scared to publicly define for 6,000 years. Crowley has had to spend so long with a rough outer shell because he fell and had to hide all of his softness.

The look on his face was one of pure joy when he created that nebula, but I think the fact that he got to share that moment with Aziraphale is what has always stuck with him.

So yeah, seeing Crowley with a broken heart at the end of "Every Day" was sad for me as well.

My brain still lives here!!

But Neil has said that Good Omens 3 is not quiet, gentle, or romantic. I imagine it's going to be more like the the first season in which they are not central to the plot. GO2 will help us make sense of how they ended up where they are when we see the bigger picture with all the other major players involved with GO3.

Aziraphale was still a soldier and accidentally got himself discorporated in his own magic circle in season one. He had a platoon waiting on him to start Armageddon, and he deserted them to go save the world with Crowley instead. Aziraphale is a deserter. I need everyone to remember that. He yeeted himself out of Heaven and sought out Crowley before even locating a body just to warn him about what was happening so they could try to save the world together.

I can't help but think of 1941 and that magician who had been arrested for being a deserter.

Aziraphale disobeyed orders. That took courage but it branded him as a traitor against Heaven. They tried to destroy him for it the same way Hell tried to destroy Crowley for his part in stopping the war.

Aziraphale and Job are the only characters we have seen interacting with God directly. Aziraphale has spoken to God before and he is determined to do so again.

Aziraphale knows Heaven is flawed, but he also knows it's supposed to be good. He wants it to be good. He does not like the way the system works and he wants to make a difference. (And I'm pretty sure he's also determined to talk to God without being intercepted by The Metatron.)

Since when is that a bad thing? I don't get it. And I've had this discussion before.

If you need to change the system by burning the old one to the ground, it's still change, and we don't know what Aziraphale has planned.

It seems to me that people just want to see Aziraphale fail because it would punish him for returning to Heaven instead of running off with Crowley.

Some of y'all take everything Aziraphale says or does and twist those things into malicious anti-Crowley actions because you think the only reason Aziraphale exists is to make Crowley happy, and if he isn't thinking only about Crowley then he's doing something wrong.

Aziraphale does not exist as a plot device to further Crowley's character. They come as a pair. They've been learning from each other for 6,000 years. Crowley challenges Aziraphale just as much as Aziraphale challenges him.

You can be mad at Aziraphale all you want, but villainizing him is gross. Defending Crowley does not mean you have to tear down and mischaracterize Aziraphale anymore than defending Aziraphale means you have to tear down Crowley (but I don't see that happen on nearly the same level it happens to Aziraphale). Stop painting Aziraphale as an abusive partner, for fuck sake.

Aziraphale knows there are flaws in the system. He wants to make a difference, and since he has seen that Gabriel can change, then maybe the whole system can. He has to at least try, and if he can succeed then maybe he and Crowley can stop hiding and finally be together without having to look over their shoulders all the time.

Why is that a bad thing? He's just as protective of Crowley as Crowley is of him!

But don't forget that Aziraphale's wing was covering Adam and Eve too. As much as a wants to protect Crowley, he has a moral imperative to keep humanity safe as well.

He sent Adam and Eve into the unknown with a flaming sword so they could protect themselves.

As much as he wants to be with Crowley, there are 8 billion people on Earth heading toward the Second Coming and Judgment Day. They'll work together to fight alongside humanity in the end. Aziraphale should not have to humiliate himself just to earn Crowley's forgiveness. That's a rancid notion.

The Resurrectionist was a whole ass moral dilemma for Aziraphale, which is why I brought up The Good Place earlier, but that's a post for a different time.

Aziraphale has his own motivations and they're just as important as Crowley's, and they don't have to be chalked up to Aziraphale being the bad guy. Weird, I know, but shades of grey.

"To the world."

[holdinbacksecrets]

uninhibited (and drunk) voicemails from seventeen

forever sending gratitude and love to j @un-love for helping assign these

seungcheol: “i watched you tonight with another man. he held your hand and kissed your forehead. he drank your tea first to check the temperature. he made you laugh. for real. i know because you covered your mouth, still feeling insecure about how far it opens when the reaction can’t be avoided—when the something said was so funny it surprised you. you’re wearing red. your arms were exposed for a while, and i felt my eyes prick with tears at the sight of more tattoos on your skin. ones i didn’t know about. maybe ones you mentioned when they were still just possibilities in your head. not once did i think i wouldn’t see them actualized. not once did i imagine another man’s fingers brushing the ink through the motion of draping his jacket around your shoulders.”

jeonghan: “i’m at home and alone, and it’s wrong to call you. it’s so unfair to call you. i didn’t know how to tell you that the wanting is scary. that the way we love each other is impossible—not for a second do i believe it’s possible to have again, and i’m fucking afraid, probably because i know how much you’ve grown. the thought of letting you down leaves a sour taste, and i’m trying not to be so fucking afraid.”

joshua: “i’m sobering up now, sitting on my mom’s back porch. earlier, i was trying to describe the color of your hair. the best i could come up with was blue frosting like the cupcakes she made for my 10th birthday party. isn’t that outrageous? embarrassing? in my head was a poem, but the alcohol released the silliest set of words i could’ve possibly used to describe a part of you.”

jun: “everything is weird. everyone is strange to me today except for you. i’m drunk. i lost my shoes at some point in the night i think. i can’t recognize anyone around me. their voices don’t sound familiar. i wish you were here. i wish you’d tell me this is miserable for you too; it’s not worth it anymore. would you tell me the truth if i asked? sorry. what a stupid question. i don’t know anyone more honest.”

soonyoung: “i should’ve watched you all day more often. i dream about that. i wanted to, but something always had my attention or interrupted its focus on you. i’m laying here with my eyes closed, imagining all the moments i did watch and wondering if every single one pieced together could consume an entire day.”

wonwoo: “is it ok that i still have your spare key? i’d like to believe it’s something you’d ask to get back, but i wonder if that call isn’t worth making. if the idea of seeing me makes you anxious. but you trust me. out of everyone to still have access to your home, it’s ok that it’s me. i feel sad thinking about it.”

jihoon: “you baked cookies. i froze half of them. there’s one left, and i’m debating whether or not to eat it today. it’s freezing outside, and any view through my window is ruined by the snow. it feels like the perfect night for a cookie with what’s left of my second americano like i can risk losing sleep, but what will be left from you if i give in? everything else feels lifeless—it’s been so long since you’ve touch the clothes and read the books.”

seokmin: “i’m going to a wedding tomorrow. your old neighbor is getting married, and i thought about so many things when he sent me the invitation. i thought he was in love with you for the longest time. remember that? it took me months to admit. then he told me he’s just protective, and i realized there are so many people who see us and care without us ever knowing. so i wondered about a what if between us… what if our paths crossing was shallow and they never intertwined? what if you were just a woman in the grocery store who i’d see once in a while if the timing was right? how long would i think about you before forgetting your face, before forgetting i ever saw you? unless i never would and end up talking about you in my old age to adult children who only know i loved their mother.”

mingyu: “is it ok to call you in the middle of the night? you told me i could. years have passed since that conversation. *laughs* is it strange to think about us back then? how we started on a park bench, basically dated for two years on a park bench. i still think about how your approach to reach me gave away your feelings. you started poised, avoiding eye contact. then it became goofy looks and confident strides before calling my name and skipping to singing the song stuck in your head while you ran to me. i can’t help but wonder what would it look like now?”

minghao: “if you listen to this voicemail, can you tell me what you want? whatever comes to mind after hearing the question. from something small to something weird and the the thing you believe is better left unsaid as if i’d judge the answer, but i won’t. i have no reason to judge you. all i have is curiosity and love and hope for your every day, every want, every touch, every song you sing, every picture you hang, and every night spent barefoot on the balcony- i want to marry you.”

seungkwan: “there’s something on my mind. i’ve wanted to tell you all day. i thought about it at breakfast and started texting you before my manager called and interrupted. so here it is: i used to not understand how tired you’d be with me around. i thought i was boring you for the longest time until i visited my sisters. they exchanged a knowing smile before telling me you’re completely comfortable, that you feel safe enough to slip into the kind of vulnerability that only sleepiness and sleep allow, with your guard lowered, and your heart open. i appreciate how much of you i’ve seen, how deeply i know you—knew you… know you? hmm…”

hansol: “are you traveling? i hope you’re traveling. i know it’s something you promised to do at the start of your 26th year. where did you go? … are you taking lots of pictures? … how does the moon look? that’s your souvenir: the moon in the sky a thousand miles away from home. when you told me the moon thing, i realized i knew nothing about you, and i wanted to know everything.”

chan: “you were in the audience tonight? i didn’t… i wasn’t… thank you for coming. i mailed a ticket, but it was returned to sender. *clears throat* you’re the only person i couldn’t shake wanting to be there. do you know what i mean? people from our pasts we wish could still be present, especially for things they witnessed in early stages. i could shake off all the other absences… old friends, a mentor, but you… *sigh* no way.”

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I have been openly living as a trans man for some years now. And I'm at a point where it doesn't take up so much mental space anymore.

Don't get me wrong: I certainly do not mean "it doesn't matter anymore" here. I am not a "just call me whatever pronouns, I do not care" person and I don't think I ever will be. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, it's just not how I feel. Being adressed with my name and my pronouns is still important for my mental well-being, and it still triggers feelings of dysphoria when people misgender me.

Even apart from misgendering: My identity is still important, and it always will be! Being trans is not some small thing that loses its importance over time. It's who I am. Being a man - and having grown up in a society that told me I wasn't - influences the way I experience everything in my life (from my self-image to my relationships with others to... well, everything).

What I do mean here is: Before coming out to others, and also before coming out to myself and accepting myself as a man, there were naturally a lot of questions running circles in my brain. Why do I feel so sad when adults tells me I'll grow into a woman? Why does it cause me so much stress when mom tells me to put on a dress? Why does it make me so euphoric to use masculine scents? When I try to picture myself kissing a boy, why do I see two boys? Ah, I just learned trans people exist, why does this fascinate me so much that I can't stop thinking about it? Am I creepy for being so fascinated by them? I'm older now, why is that sad feeling not going away? Why is it only getting worse now that I have "grown into a woman"? Why do I keep getting this horrified feeling that I took a wrong route somewhere and was never meant to arrive at "woman"? Wait... could this mean I am trans? Is it too late to realize I am trans at my age? Can I really be trans when the whole thought of even just considering surgery feels overwhelming and scary? Will I ever be ready to actually come out as trans? I really want to get married some day, could I even find love as a trans person? Can I ever be happy in a relationship if I hide who I am? Can I go on living in the closet? Okay, I am trans and want to come out, is it safe to do that? Will my family still love me? Will I ever be brave enough to come out to people outside of my immediate circle? Will people take me seriously? Will people hate me? Will I regret coming out? What if I fuck up my life?

Well, I came out and the world didn't end. All these questions, I either found answers to them or they just dissolved over time - and that frees up a lot of energy and mental space. The space that was occupied by these questions and concerns is now available to me again.

I do not wonder if I am a man anymore. I just am one. It has become something that is just self-evident to me. It goes without saying - or without conciously spending time thinking about it. Of course I am a man, of course I am Oliver. Who else would I be?

We all have a limited amount of things we can focus on, and many trans people share this experience that over time they do not need to focus so much on it anymnore. But this is not unique to the process of figuring out you are trans - in the sense that a cis gay, bi, ace etc. person could also relate to this, but also in entirely non-lgbt-specific ways. Think about a person prepping for an important exam for example. A lot of their energy and mental space will be tied up in exam related questions... which obviously will not be a permanent state. After the exam, they will naturally no longer by preoccupied by wondering how the exam will go!

I'm telling you all this because one of you asked me if I struggled with coming to terms with being a trans man - and this is my very long way of saying: Yes, I did (and it's pretty normal to do! It's a really big realization about yourself!) but struggling isn't a permanent state.

You'll find answers to some questions, some questions will just fade away. You'll figure things out.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Blurbs: Strawberry Acai

————————————————————————-

Summary: Joe gets you back after all of those pranks you pulled on him. It doesn't end in his favor though…

Warnings: None, fluff, unserious/funny, pranks

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

*December 27th, 2023 - 21 weeks pregnant*

You and Joe sat on the couch, unwinding after a long day of Christmas festivities in Athens at his parent's house.

Tyson and Miles slept in the car the entire ride home, so when you two arrived, Joe carried them upstairs and put them in their beds.

Before you guys left Robin and Jimmy’s, you had put the boys’s pajamas on, already expecting them to crash in the car.

Now, Joe loved his family, don't get me wrong, but usually after a get-together with them, he wouldn't want to be around a lot of people for at least a whole day.

In other words, he'd keep his circle limited to you, Tyson, and Miles.

Currently, Joe was cuddled up to you while talking to the baby in your stomach.

Joe was adamant that his baby girl would know her father's voice as soon as she met the outside world.

You loved being a third wheel in their conversations, finding the way Joe’s tone went up an octave while talking in a baby voice to be cute.

But unbeknownst to you, Joe was planning something not-so-innocent.

He had a prank up his sleeve.

Joe was fed up with being on the receiving end of all your little pranks, and now it was his turn to be the prankster.

A few minutes ago, when Joe was “using the bathroom” he was actually on DoorDash ordering your favorite Starbucks drink.

But it was for himself.

That was the prank.

Joe was proud of himself for already having your go-to order memorized because it came in handy today.

Baby girl’s conversation with her daddy was interrupted by a slight knock on the door.

Joe had specified not ringing the doorbell because there were sleeping kids.

You watched him stand up and walk to the door. Joe seemed calm, cool, and collected while you were slightly worried about who or what was knocking on your door at nine o'clock at night.

When Joe opened the door he took a few steps onto the porch and bent over to pick something up.

He walked back into the house, shut the door, and pulled the bag out from behind his back to reveal that it was Starbucks.

“Joey! Did you get me a refresher?” - you grinned

Joe pulled the drink out of the bag and sat back down in his spot next to you on the couch.

Without saying a word Joe moved the cup to his lips and took a slow sip.

You laughed when you saw his face contort slightly, Strawberry Acai refreshers can be sour sometimes.

“Can I have it now?” - you

Joe shook his head no and continued drinking. He tried and failed to not make a face at the sourness.

Now that 1/4 of the venti cup was empty, you realized what he was doing.

With a longing glance, side-eye style, Joe took in your slightly sad expression.

Fuck, he made his pregnant wife sad.

“Wait, shit, I'm sorry. Here, you can have it. I was just trying to prank you, not make you sad.” - Joe

He handed you the drink and you apprehensively took a small sip, trying to mess with him.

“Mama… I’m sorry. I'll order another one if you want. Want a cake pop? Or two?” - Joe

You giggled as you watched him frantically get on his phone to find the DoorDash app.

“Babe, I’m okay. Just this drink is fine.” - you

“Are you sure? I can order another one!” - Joe

“Joe, it's fine, I promise. Was this your way of getting back at me?” - you laughed

“Yes, but I failed miserably. You have too big of an effect on me for me to prank you.” - Joe

His comment made you smile and cuddle back up to him, your head leaning into his shoulder as his hand found its place on your bump.

“I think we should leave the pranking in this marriage up to me...” - you

“Hell, that's for sure.” - Joe scoffed before laughing

You spent the rest of the night cuddled up with Joe as you sipped on your refresher.

——

The next morning, you'd wake up alone because Joe was working out in the home gym.

You immediately went downstairs to start breakfast for your three boys and yourself, and your heart warmed when you saw what was on the counter.

It was a small bouquet of different colored tulips, a venti refresher, and a cookie already out of the package sitting on the paper.

There was also a small note next to it and a grin spread across your face when you read it.

Sorry again for that prank, Mama. I hope the baby is craving a chocolate chip cookie this morning, and I also hope this makes for a good apology.

Love you, Joe.

You let out a content sigh as you reached for the cookie and took a bite, running your hand over your bump as you did so.

“You’ve got one good daddy, princess.” - you

————————————————————————-

Authors note: Definitely not the end of the prank saga. 😏

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[buckysbabygorl]

Punching Bag (Bucky Angst)

Summary: As much as Bucky can't stand Y/N, he's tired of her taking all the blows on the field. They have to come up with a plan.

Word Count: N/A

“Get your hands off me.”

She shoved him away, as best she could given her state.

“I can do it myself.”

She took the med kit from his hands, in her drunken stupor she stumbled to the dining table, fumbling with the latches on the case.

Bucky was tired. All he wanted to do was sleep after a long—god awful---day and put the mission behind him.

He dropped his mission bag at the doorway.

“All you’re going to do is make it worse. I don’t need you waking up tomorrow complaining about your drunken hack job.”

She glared at him, pulling out supplies.

“Sober or not, I can stitch myself up fine. Just because I’m not an army vet doesn’t mean I don’t know basic field medics.”

She mumbled something more under her breath; probably dick or asshole, some of her common artillery when insulting him.

He didn’t need this. He really didn’t need this right now. Today had been hard, and for Bucky that was saying something. Whether it was being back in Russia, during its coldest and iciest period of the season; or being stuck with the person he loathed the most, he wasn’t sure what had triggered him.

But he was on edge and exhausted, and he wanted this night to end.

Then she had to go and get stabbed of all things, and now this dark hour was dragging on and on and on...

It was then Bucky realized that this sad excuse of a safe house would not give him enough space from her. It was a bachelor style apartment, something small enough that would never catch the eye of enemies, tucked away in an complex that was filled with much more shady individuals that them. There was a kitchenette, a dining table with two chairs, and a couch that pulled out. There was also a rickety old rocking chair, which looked far from comfortable.

This night wouldn't get any shorter.

“Ow.”

She stabbed her self softly with the needle, swaying slightly as she tried to stablize herself.

“Jesus Christ," Bucky said, "did you even wash your hands?”

“Fuck you.” She retorted.

His jaw tensed as he stopped himself from raising his hands, he wanted to tear his hair out strand by strand.

Why was she always so fucking argumentative?

“Would you stop saying that?”

He strode across the room, kneeling in front of her chair and grabbed her arm.

She attempted to pull away from him, which was stupid to do with a needle in hand.

“Let go.” She demanded.

She pulled back, hard, and Bucky gripped her forearm.

“Will you just—enough.” His voice stern and commanding.

She halted, slightly hazey and swaying. But she stopped.

Bucky let out a frustrated sigh.

“For once, can you just shut up and listen? For five seconds, can you do that?”

She blinked slowly at him, pursing her lips.

He recognized that look in her eye; it was always followed by a sly grin, a tilt of her head that said “what are you gonna do about it, Sergeant?”

This time, she slumped back into her chair. She relaxed her arm and used the other to shove the kit towards him.

“Fine. Do your worst. I don’t give a shit if you leave a scar.”

He waited a moment, to see if she’d say something more or change her mind, maybe smack his hand away one more time.

But she didn’t.

So Bucky picked up the needle and went to work.

She didn’t look at him while he stitched her up, remaining in her dead stare as she looked straight at the wall.

She winced a few times but said nothing.

After a few minutes, the quiet made Bucky’s skin itch.

“Why did you jump at her, anyways? I had it covered.”

Y/N closed her eyes, inhaling through gritted teeth.

Responding wasn’t worth the effort, so she shrugged.

“Really? You’re not going to say anything?” He asked.

She groaned. “Does it matter? Not like I can do anything about it now.”

He shook his head, continuing as if he hadn’t heard her. “--And downing a bottle of tequila won’t make you feel better.”

She bit the palm of her hand as he worked his way along her side.

Her breaths stuttered as she inhaled.

“Hurts less.” She mumbled.

He paused a moment.

He remembered what that felt like. How much these kind of things could hurt you. He could imagine the pain she was going through, he could see it in her face. But he tried to ignore it. He was still mad at her.

“I don’t get you. You do this every time, you’re not invincible you know—”

She slammed her hand on the table.

“I know that! Jesus, you tell me every time—AH!”

She pulled away from him, hurting herself as he had tightened a stitch.

He looked up as his hands steadied her, and his voice softened.

“Y/N, sit still...”

Her head was turned away from him, but he could still see the corner of her eye and the downturn of her lip.

He hadn’t realized she’d been crying.

He tilted his head down, biting on the inside of his cheek. Best to just get this over with.

“Just… sit still. I’m almost done.”

They fell into silence again. The winter snow was building up on the safe house windows, the wind pounding against the panes.

He tried to shut it out. But it was either listen to the howling storm or rehash the scenario in his brain.

Her voice came over his ear piece, she told him to watch his six; that agents were entering through the south wing of the building. He ignored her, he had it covered.

She must’ve taken his silence the wrong way; she figured he was in danger. She was like that, she’d assume the worst and abandon her post to cover. Fuck, why did she have to do that…

“Did you get a hold of Sam?”

Surprised by her question, Bucky looked up from his hands. She still wouldn’t turn to face him.

“Called him while I was walking back. Said he can get a jet in a 4 am. With the storm it’s hard to get here—”

She winced again. He groaned.

“Stop moving.”

She awed at the ceiling and clenched her hand into a fist.

“My god, would it kill you to have some sympathy?”

He tied off the suture and snipped the thread.

“I don’t have sympathy for idiocy.”

She scoffed, “Fuck you.”

Which she had said for the umpteenth time today.

He decided to ignore it. But he was still fuming, still angry at her… why, why would she do that?

He should’ve watched his six, he knew he should’ve.

They came up behind him, 4 out of the 6 agents had decided to cover his wing.

He was holding his own, but the one was smart. Patient. Waiting while the others hammered Bucky with brute force to deliver a fatal blow. She had been aiming for his right side, probably trying to stab between his right ribs or his into his spine…

“You know, normal people say thank you.” He nodded to her left side, where 10 stitches sat neatly in line.

“I could say the same thing to you.” Her words were icy, she nearly spat them at him.

Bucky scoffed. “Why should I thank you? I had it covered, you jumped in and now I have to patch your drunk-ass up—”

“I did it because it’s instinct. I saw my partner outnumbered and I saved your ass. Sorry it’s an inconvenience to you because I’m not a goddamn super soldier.”

The slam of his hand on the table made her jump, and her eyes went wide at the thought that he might actually make her shut up for once.

"You can't throw yourself in a fight where you'll get more hurt than I will."

His eyes faltered when he looked at her, "We... we talked about this Y/N--"

Silence fell between them again.

She fumbled with the bottle cap on the table, and Bucky stood still at her side.

He didn't know what more to say, and she didn't know how to respond.

Because he was right, they had talked about this before many times.

There were never tender moments between the two, but the closest they'd ever gotten to something like that was usually Y/N's recovery. They were paired together more often than not; aside from them loathing one another, they were extremely compatible.

But each time they teamed up, something like this happened.

Y/N would get stabbed, she'd get shot, she'd break a bone or two, she'd pick a fight that was out of her depths.

He'd get mad and so would she, then a day or two would pass and he'd watch her struggle with something. Whether it was taking the stairs, or doing her physio, or getting back into training...

Somehow they'd end up alone and they fell back into this same conversation.

You can't always put yourself at risk for me, I know you're skilled but there's situations where you need to be more careful.

She'd sit with it, and usually come back with the same response.

I know you're capable of taking more than most people, but it doesn't mean you get to be a punching bag. If my partner is in trouble, I'm going to step in.

There was never a solution made, because he was the immovable object and she was the unstoppable force.

In short, they were both too stubborn and too proud.

Normally, she wouldn't bring it up. But feeling brave, or drunk enough to be brave, she did.

"We're going around in circles, Barnes."

She didn't look up from the table, but he continued to stare.

"We can't fight about this every single time we go on a mission. We've requested to be separated, and that's not happening. So tell me what the fuck you want me to do, because I'm not just gonna take a seat every time it gets ugly."

He sighed, "What I'd like you to do is not be an idiot out there--"

"Hm," She took another drink, "And I'd like you to stop being an asshole."

His jaw clenched again. Every time with this girl...

"Do you not see where I'm coming from?" He gestured to her ribs, "Look at you, Y/N. How many scars is that now? From our missions alone?"

She shook her head, fiddling with the cap.

"I don't know Barnes, that's not the point."

She did know, it was nine now.

"The point is I'm not going to change my mind and neither are you. So figure it out with me instead of fighting me every chance you get. Pick a different fucking solution."

It seemed Bucky couldn't stop sighing, he wanted to walk away from this night and be done with it. But he knew they'd be back in this position a month from now, and a month after that, and so on.

So, begrudgingly, Bucky sat down at the table.

"Fine. If you won't stop being reckless--"

"--And you won't stop being a dick--"

He pointed at her, "Okay first. Stop doing that. I get you're frustrated but you swear at me a lot. I hate it. It feels like you try to pick a fight."

She went to speak, but all she could think of were insults involving curse words. He'd proven his point.

Her lip curled in a scowl, "Fine."

He nodded. "Okay."

She shifted to sit with her arms crossed on the table, eyes flicking up to him.

"Stop telling me I'm an idiot. And stop saying I'm reckless. You think it's reckless 'cause I'm not Steve or Thor, or whoever else was enhnaced on the team... just because I'm not like you guys doesn't mean I'm being stupid when I'm out there."

God, he wanted to fight her on that.

Different capabilities meant different actions in certain situations, at least in his eyes.

But he kept it to himself, at least they were starting to work on something.

"Okay..." He drew out the word, subtly saying he wasn't okay with it, but Y/N didn't care.

He could think what he wanted, but he didn't get to throw it in her face every time he wanted.

"I can't control what you do on the field." Bucky started, "You make your own calls and you... you know what you're doing out there."

Y/N smirked at the look of pain on Bucky's face, she know he hated to admit it. But she was damn good at her job.

"--but if there's a situation that I think you need to stay out of, respect me when I ask."

"What if I think I can handle it?" She questioned.

He lifted his hand off the table slightly, halting her to let him finish.

"If I need you, I'll tell you."

She rolled her eyes, "So I'm supposed to wait until my coach puts me in?"

His fists balled in frustration. "No, I'm saying be there but..."

He leaned back in his chair, looking up to the ceiling.

"I don't know, maybe we have a call sign when we both need each other."

He said that to appease her, he didn't think there would ever be a time he'd need her, but maybe she would need him. And at least it would keep her from jumping in and getting sliced to bits.

She snorted, "What, like a safe word?"

He huffed slightly, "I guess so, yeah."

That seemed to be enough conversation for her, as she stumbled out of her chair and clambered over to the musty pull out couch in the corner. She was still nursing that damn bottle in the crook of her arm.

Bucky sat, somewhat surprised that that was the end of it.

"I'm tired." She mumbled as she slipped onto the mattress, kicking her go-bag onto the ground.

I guess I'll take the floor, Bucky thought.

He raised his hands in an exaggerated shrug, his words laced with contempt. "Any thoughts on the safe word?"

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose, already feeling the early effects of a hang over.

"Yeah," she muttered, "Punching bag."

Bucky waited for more from her, but after a few moments of silence, her snoring began and he accepted that as the end of their conversation.

It wasn't much, but it was a start.

He accepted his place in the awful rocking chair, but not before picking the bottle of tequila out from beneath her.

He took one final look at his patch up of her ribs, before settling into his seat, eagerly waiting for Sam's arrival.

~

They didn't speak more of their truce after that night, but there had been an unspoken agreement on both ends to keep their promise.

They'd be less hostile towards one another; and they'd work their roles independently during missions unless someone asked for help.

And, oddly enough, their "safe word" popped up more and more with each mission. It was easier than saying the words "I need your help", because both were so stuck in their pride to ever admit that. But "punching bag" worked just fine.

In fact, they had gotten so comfortable using it during their duo missions, that it became an oddity to the rest of the Avengers in team missions.

"Barnes, what's your location?"

"Intersection of Francis Street and Main."

"I'm west of Francis by one block. Alice Street. Punching bag."

Within less than a minute, he was there.

It was rare for Bucky to use it, but every so often he had.

One time, it had been used because Bucky's metal arm had adhered to the FOD magnetic sweepers of their combatant's tank.

Y/N had laughed when she arrived, but never brought it up afterwards.

That was another thing, an interesting development so to speak. In its month's of usage, "Punching bag" somehow became "come, no questions asked."

Sam, Joaquin and Sharon had all taken notice of this new addition to their lingo; but decided not to press it. Ever since it had been implemented, the two were actually getting along. Sam would argue they were somewhat friendly with one another.

It was a peaceful three months since their Russia mission, and the team was going to ride it out as long as they could.

~

Bucky felt numb. Which was bad, because usually that led to an anger spiral or a drawn out dissociation episode. Neither were good options for him.

It was a bad day. A really fucking bad day.

He had called his therapist, but at the fourth call with no answer, he had assumed she was asleep.

Of course she was, it was 2 in the morning.

Bucky tried to remember what she had taught him; their so-called "game plan" when things went south.

He didn't want to listen to music, he had tried going for a walk, he had tried using that dumb journal she recommened he'd buy but he couldn't write anything down.

Call someone, she had said, your line of work has a select few that understand what you're going through. And those select few happen to be your friends, you can lean on them . That's what they're there for.

He had hovered over Sam's contact for—about—15 minutes. But he didn't want to.

Some nagging feeling in the forefront of his mind pulled him back, to lean towards someone else.

He scrolled down, clicked the contact, and sent a quick message.

Punching bag.

And then he waited.

-

Bucky had left his location on in their group comms chat, and Y/N was surprised to see that he was in his own apartment.

Her mind jumped to an intruder holding Bucky hostage in his own home; or him being kidnapped, leaving his phone behind and it was the last message he had been able to send before being taken away.

She got paranoid like that. She was working it out in therapy, or whatever.

Bucky rarely used their safe word, which she resented him for, but when he did she knew it was serious.

She was there in 10 minutes.

Bucky heard shuffling outside his door; as stealthy as she was, he had the fortune of super-soldier hearing.

Then she gave their call sign, an additional one that was in early development. One knock, a pause, then four knocks.

You're, one syllable, an id-i-ot, four syllables

He'd respond back with two hard knocks to signal it was clear; two syllables for "fuck you".

Apparently their old habits died hard.

He had left the door unlocked, and she entered slowly.

With a quick scan of the room, she deemed the coast was clear. Even more surprising considering the text she had received less than 15 minutes ago.

She looked at him with question, "Our safe word is usually for emergencies, y'know."

He nodded, but said nothing.

She pursed her lips, more confused but coming in regardless.

"...Alright."

She slipped off her coat and kicked off her boots. She found it odd to see him on the floor, then noticing the pillow and blankets laid out on the hardwood, she realized that's how Bucky slept.

Late at night, she put two and two together; he'd tried to sleep and couldn't.

She folded her coat and sat down across from him.

She stayed silent, patiently waiting for him.

He continued to say nothing.

She waited for a few minutes longer, prompting him to give some sort of explanation for his text.

But again, nothing.

She clapped her hands once on her knees, and stood up. Bucky panicked, fearing she would leave---

"You got back at 10, right?" She asked.

Bucky was taken aback by her knowledge of his returning home, but nodded after his pause.

She hummed, "Okay. Have you eaten?"

"Uh--" Bucky thought for a moment, realizing he hadn't. "--No."

She nodded. It was a start.

"Okay. Then uh---I'm gonna get you some food."

After digging through the cabinets whilst Bucky sat on the floor, she mustered her supplies; butter, cheese, and bread.

Grilled cheese wasn't the fanciest of meals but considering the situation, it would have to do. Besides, she didn't know how to cook anything else.

5 minutes later, a plate plopped down in front of him, and she sat cross-legged as she started on her sandwich.

He watched her for a moment, before she looked up at him with a mouthful.

"Don't let good eatings go to waste Barnes," she wiped crumbs from her lips, "I put my blood, sweat and tears into this meal."

Shockingly, even to himself, Bucky laughed. And then he ate.

"I would've added onion," She said, "But you don't seem to have... many ingredients in your fridge, Buck."

He was surprised at her wanting to use onion, and even more surprised at her usage of his first name. But he let the latter slide.

"Onion?" He questioned.

She sent an odd look back at him, "What? You've never had onion in your grilled cheese?"

When he shook his head no, she went into a ramble.

"My god, you're missing out. I'll tell you this; one time, my Pops went into this diner, you see--"

Bucky felt himself smile as she went on, telling a story of her grandpa recommending the restaurant make it a special of the day, "grilled cheese with onion", and how it had been such a hit with the locals, that they gave her grandpa a free grilled cheese every day from that day on. Which was how she knew how to make it.

She told more stories about her grandpa, then about her family, and Bucky realized he'd never heard more about her in one sitting. In fact, he realized he had known nothing about her personal life the entire time they had been working alongside eachother.

He sat happily listening, grilled cheese in hand, and even took her up on seconds as she continued to talk.

Y/N figured that, sometimes, that's what someone needs. To fill the silence, to feel the normal, especially on days that were less than good.

And eventually, the other person would start talking too.

People need distraction. Sometimes they need to talk, they need advice, or they need help and action. But when someone needs you, and they can't find the words, talking of nothingness can be the best thing.

Y/N could be good at that, something Bucky never knew about her. And, something Bucky never knew he liked.

A silence fell over them, but not like before. Not the tense words-unsaid sort. But comfortable. She washed dishes and he sat on the floor.

She flicked her hands at the sink before drying them, Bucky wondered if she did that all the time.

"So," She said, "do you want to talk about it?"

The question might have been jarring to others, but to him it wasn't. Bucky just shrugged.

"I don't think so."

He didn't need to, he thought. This was enough.

She nodded. "Okay. Do you want me to go?"

He was shaking his head before he knew it, and she smirked.

Not the spiteful one she used to adorn with him, but more of a cheeky one. One a friend might give to another.

"Alright. Do you want me to stay?"

He picked at his ratty blanket he had tucked beside him.

"Kinda." He thought before adding, "If you don't mind."

She checked her watch, "I've got nowhere to be."

She said something about a deck of cards, and went to search his house, which for some reason he didn't mind.

She found a deck, Bucky hadn't known he owned one.

"So, I'm gonna teach you how to play King's Corners, kick your ass at King's corners, and then we're gonna talk about this bed situation which is unacceptable..." she trailed off in her teasing, and Bucky found himself laughing more.

She did teach him how to play, and he ended up kicking her ass, which she claimed was beginner’s luck.

She stayed all night.

More nights like that began to happen, sometimes Bucky spoke and sometimes he didn't.

Sometimes they fought, most times they didn't.

The fights happened less and less. The all-nighters happened more and more.

And Bucky noticed more things he liked. More than her grilled cheese, more than her comfortable ramblings, and soon he found there were more things he liked than not.

She trusted Bucky to hold his own on the field, and he tried not to be as protective of her, letting her choose her own actions. They found out that was what he was afterall, and she realized she had been too.

She had been staying longer and longer. The next thing they knew, she wasn't leaving at all.

~

@dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable

@dumb-ass-3

@cuddlycalcifer @babyblue-07 @babybluereads @lonewolf471 @agni-l @niiight-dreamerrrr @julipmoon @fandomsfallnomore @elliee1497 @godspeedlover @sexwithhiddlesbatch @annestine @shower-me-with-roses @yougottalovefandoms @rebekahdawkins @gentlybarnes @emmabarnes

[jams-sims]

Because its so late, I think I can say this. As much as I fucking hate purgatory. As a DM to a story I think its the most natural out for characters and Muns. Oh! my character can have either lived or died on the purg island? Do I feel like coming back? If the answer no. Easy out, no over the top feeling, no need to do a final stream if I dont want to. Just a stark sad tragic exit that leaves it mark. Because no one expected people to die on this silly fucking island. But deaths, mark very important and poignant moments. The island is curel and its consuming its islanders.

Max's death is one of sacrifice for his friends and the eggs. He was in a hole of loneliness, I think that loneliness took him as well. But I think qMax's death was a simple stepping stone while q!jaiden death will be a full on turn. See-

Jaiden death is probably the most fitting for her character because it is the most tragic. Q!Jaiden died when bobby died. She speant her days in a home just cluttered with his images and his likeness. She was being used by the Feds and I think deep down she knew that. Her connections were severed do to grief, her platonic husband while also spiraling found hope. He got married had a new kid and while he made sure people put some respect on her name when it came to Bobby. He had moved somewhere she could not get to him.

An in a way, I think that's all she truly needed. Her last connection, Roier was happy living his full life in a castle. An what did she have to go back to? A sunset in a house full of memories in a field of flowers surrounded by nothing. The week spent in purgatory felt like a century of suffering.

Something in her finally broke and maybe she didn't make it to the final part where everyone else was. Maybe she walked slowly, legs and feet numb. An she got to a clearing, the world is doused in chaos once again. An her ears are rinning with sirens. An all of it fades away as she stops, she stops limping along, she falls back into sitting on the cold earth.

She realizes their nothing waiting for her back on the island. What was the rush for? What was all the screaming and crying, the begging the longing. She's tired. She so tired of it all. All of it and what was it for? A new start that would never truly be hers.

She relax for the first time in a long time and the sunset looks beautiful. And she hopes that roier stays happy that all the eggs get to live happy and healthy lives.

She doesn't even hear the explosion. She closes her eyes. An when she opens them she in the air, weightless and flying. She has food she hasn't eaten in a long time. She tells Bobby not to worry, she happy now. Only to feel a swift kick to her shins. As Bobby takes her hand and she gets to tell him about all the thing she did after his passing.

She finally get to go back home.

[aestherin]

privacy

37: it's all yours

NOTE a gift from me 🤍 a long chapter. thank you for waiting!! 🤍

This is surely a nightmare.

You swore you could cry from the sheer feeling of dread alone.

'What the actual fuck is this? Why are we here? Hello? What is this? This is surely the wrong stop. I wanna scream. Why here oh my god?'

Even though you were still inside your manager's car, it was visible how gray the skies were. Rain wasn't present, at least not yet, but the clouds looked so heavy, as if they were carrying a heavy burden.

They looked just about ready to burst.

You found it laughable, how even the heavens above seemed to reflect how you were feeling.

Your manager took the liberty of opening your car door for you, mainly because you were taking too long. "Get off."

You looked up at her, holding tightly to your seatbelt and refusing to let go.

"I don't wanna get out."

"Why are we here in this haunting place anyway?" You forced a smile, which she returned with a suspicious one. "I told you, didn't I? The CEO of Cypressus wants to meet you."

"Here?"

"Why else would we be here?" She questioned back, now also removing your seatbelt for you. "If you don't get out, we would be late for our appointment. That's not a good impression to make for a VIP, [Name]."

"Why are we meeting at Ayato's family house?" You cried out.

"Oh, this is his house? I didn't know. I just followed the address their CEO gave me."

This is eerie. Something about this is not right. Why —

"Stop thinking. Clear your mind, we have someone to meet."

The immense friction between the ground and your shoes (caused by your manager literally dragging you) can be heard, aside from you and your companion's quick banters. Well, it was actually mostly you crying out questions and her attempting to make you shut up.

Going through the short path on the way to the estate's gate, you noticed that barely anything has changed. As expected, their residence was well-maintained. Given the amount of staff and resources they have, it would be even weirder if they did not manage to keep the estate in its pristine state.

The only difference between your previous visit and now?

No personnel of the Kamisato clan is on sight.

Perhaps they are all inside? Or all of them have day offs today? Or maybe they all decided to file a leave on the very same day? Maybe the CEO of that famous bubble tea shop rented out the whole place to meet you? Wait, is a family residence even available for rent —

"We're here," your manager stated as both of you arrived at the gate.

"I really don't wanna do this."

"You're just gonna talk."

"'You're'? You mean me? Not 'we'? Are you leaving me alone?" You were on the verge of crying. It wasn't that you were sad. It was out of nervousness. Thank Celestia that no matter what heavy emotion you feel, you tend to cry.

Sad? Crying. Anxious? Sobbing. Angry? In tears.

Amidst your internal chaos, your beloved manager simply shrugged. "He requested to talk to you personally, not me."

"And you obliged?"

"It's for your own good."

"You sound like my mother."

"You think I don't notice that you're stalling?" she eyed you. You then felt both hands on your shoulder, forcing you to face the estate that brought you so many memories all at once. A little push, and voila!

You're all alone now.

It was not until you heard the heavy sound of the gate shutting that you turned around. "What the fuck?! Manager?!"

"Best wishes!" She yelled from the other side. Best wishes? Really? It's not like she's sending me off to get married, right?

... Right?

You stayed as still as a stone for a few minutes. Was this place really deserted? And where the heck is Cypressus' CEO? Is he inside? Should you go inside? Do you even dare to enter?

You gave your wristwatch a glance and realized you're already a few minutes late beyond call time. Maybe you really should stop wasting time outside and go in.

You were only able to take a few steps along the stoned path before you heard the main door creak.

It was a sound that could be heard anywhere, and yet... this specific noise, in this very place... it made your heart drop.

What you saw was even worse.

You could've died.

Out came a tall, fine man in an all white outfit consisting of a simple button-down and slacks, still oh so refined as ever.

How many days has it been? Or maybe even weeks, since you last saw each other?

Your heart was confused.

Those enchanting lavender eyes of his remained on you. They were magnetic, yet repelling all the same. Magnetic in a sense that you want nothing to do but just run straight into his arms, because you missed him so damn much. Repelling, because at the same time, you also want to run away for fear of confrontation.

Fear of falling even deeper.

Fear of falling into the depths, until no return.

Your lips slightly parted. It was hard to breathe — this instance, this atmosphere, his presence. It was too much. Too much for your little brittle heart to handle.

"[Name]," he uttered.

Fuck. And now you heard his voice? You were surely on the road to damnation.

Meanwhile, you weren't aware, but the man in front of you was likewise, dying. Dying to get close, dying to touch you, hug you, kiss you.

Dying to be with you, again.

Ayato silently rejoiced that you did not run away immediately at the sight of him. He feared that once you saw him, you would instantly go away, far and out of his reach. Thank the archons she stayed.

As he made his way towards you, you stayed still. You didn't even know how you managed to keep the eye contact with him. And then you notice.

He is a remarkable actor, but you've seen his genuine smile plenty enough to know that everything he's outright expressing is feigned. His lips may display a slight curve, but his eyes... They never lie. In them were weariness, sadness... longing.

Ayato now stood directly in front of you. "Hey," his voice cracked. "I missed you."

"Hi," you forced out a smile too.

It was a long time of looking at each other in silence, with faux smiles plastered on. No one dared to make a noise, nor an action.

Until Ayato couldn't take it anymore and pulled you into a tight hug.

His head sunk on your shoulders. You could feel all of his weight on you, as if he was deliberately sharing with you how exhausted he was from everything. How spent he was, and how your appearance at his house today was his only saving grace in a long time.

You froze.

You felt him shift slightly — no, he was shaking.

"Love," desperation was evident in his voice. "I —"

Ayato couldn't even talk. The composure he tried so hard to muster while waiting for you crumbled, just like that. One glimpse of you, and he broke. Are you now thinking how pathetic he is? Do you despise him now? Of course you do. Why wouldn't —

He felt your fingers caress his hair.

A simple gesture. Yet when it was combined with so much pining, sorrow, and despair... he couldn't stop himself anymore from sobbing in your embrace.

His last attempt at faking collectedness was hiding himself even further into the crook of your neck.

"Why are you crying?" You spoke softly. "I should be the one doing that," you joked.

"I know." Ayato's voice was muffled. Despite the situation, you can't help thinking how cute he was like this. Of course, you definitely prefer him being his usual cool self over him being a broken mess.

But it was a wonder, getting to see him like this, and getting to experience a new side of him.

The two of you stayed like that for a while: him trying to hide his crying in your shoulder (although his faint noises ratted him out) and you continuing to run your fingers through the tufts of his hair.

It wasn't awkward at all, contrary to what one would expect. Rather, it was warm and comfortable, not until he pulled himself away.

Your eyes travelled down, together with him.

"I'm sorry," his voice was low as he looked up at you. Kamisato Ayato, the renowned celebrity, the man with sharp lavender eyes, the scheming man that you've grown to love, the man that you would put above everything, even yourself, just fell to his knees. Groveling. Pleading. Begging.

But what exactly was he sorry for? Weren't you the one who owes an apology? After all, you were the one who suddenly announced that you two 'broke up' — as if there was even really something going on — without even waiting a response from him.

Then you ghosted everyone.

So really, what was your darling actor sorry for?

He held your hands, eyes still on you. "For everything, love. For dragging you into this whole mess. For being an asshole. For being such a stupid fuck."

Ayato breathed.

"For being a damned coward who is afraid of rejection and can't even express his feelings genuinely that he urged you into entering a faking relationship with himself just so he can experience having one with you."

What?

"So please," he leaned his forehead against your thigh, now looking down. "Forgive me and let me fix everything."

"Ayato —"

"Let me fix everything, with me by your side. With us, together."

With that, he was forced to look up as you pulled him. Ayato was still holding your hand even after the change in position, refusing to let you go.

"Ayato." This time, it's you whose voice wavers. "We can't. You know we can't. At least I can't."

"[Name]," he whined. "Love, please."

You took in his appearance. He looked like a mess, everything about him was. His disheveled hair, his teary eyes, his inconsistent breathing.

And yet, you still found him flawless.

"You don't have to forgive me right away. Fuck, you can even torment me. I just want us to be like before, maybe even better," Ayato beseeched.

"I can't believe you still want me," you forced a laugh. "I left you. Announced a break up. I fucking ignored you. All without notice."

"And I deserved all of it."

"No you didn't! You treated me so, so right," tears were now seeping. "You were everything I could ever ask for, love. And what was I to you in return?"

You sobbed.

You hated how memories of everything flashed in your mind.

How he was the perfect fucking lover despite everything being fake, how he never slighted you at the very least, how unfair you were to him sometimes (most times), how he would do just about anything you want, how you kept steering away from him without a word, how unreasonable you were after seeing a single fucking tweet online.

How you left him hanging.

"I was someone who was swayed easily! I was unfair. I kept doubting you, even if I didn't have the right to. You were perfect, I was flawed. You —"

"I wasn't perfect. I know that. Because if I was, you wouldn't have to suffer like how you've been," Ayato frowned. He knew he was the one to blame, and yet... why were you blaming only yourself?

He does not like it when you talk that way about yourself. If you could see yourself through his eyes, he wonders, would you still look at yourself as someone so low and unworthy? He attempts to change the topic subtly. "We're both human. We aren't flawless. A perfect fucking match, [Name]. So why don't we just be with each other —"

"— but I hurt you!"

"And I don't give a fuck." He breathes. "Heck, I would even let you do it again — infinite times more if you wish. Pain me. Hurt me. Break my heart all you want — it's all yours, love."

"But for God's sake, [Name]... please don't leave me."

privacy — ayato x reader smau

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[0xstarzx0]

LONG TIME

Rafe x Virgin readers

synopsis: When you develop strong feelings for Rafe and he rejects you decide to take you in hand but the Cameron is not of the same opinion

[English is not my native language.❗️❗️]

tw: smut, jealousy, insult, fingering, sex . ______________________________________

You cried, you knew that love was unreciprocal. Yet you had hoped so hard that you were wrong.

You’ve known Rafe since you were little, you grew up with him and despite that, you’re two totally opposite people.

Rafe was the type to be open to others, he flirted, slept with girls and you were his opposite.

You only talked to Rafe, Topper and Kelce. You didn’t hit on each other, and when someone did, you didn’t know how to react.

Rafe told you his experiences and you were a little jealous of them girls.

You loved him since you were in elementary school, you weren’t good at expressing your actuons properly with him, but everyone suspected you were in love with him. And of course it was always him who denied.

When one night he came to your house, you let him in. Rafe settled in your bed and you joined him.

you put your head on his chest and said nothing, he started playing with your hair. He always did it when he was upset or sad.

"Why is he like that with me?" to ask, his voice was no louder than a whisper but, you could hear his sadness through her. you looked up and met his eyes, you couldn’t decipher how he felt. You looked down. I don’t know, Rafey, but he’s your dad, he’d do anything for you... You know that?".

Rafe heaves a heavy sigh and without warning you, he grabs your arms and draws your head to his. you get carried away and don’t move, you like to feel serenity with him. "I love you Rafe." you say calmly. I love you too Y/N" he answers.

"No, I really love you, Rafe."

Rafe’s breath is taking a few seconds before you realize what you just said.

You get up from Rafe and don’t dare look at him. You promised yourself never to tell him for fear of breaking your friendship. You just ruined everything.

"What did you just say?" Rafe asks you, you clear your throat and start playing with your hands. 

"I love you, Rafe… more than just a friend…" You hear his swear before he getting up.

He starts pacing in your room, putting his hand in his hair. "You can’t do that to me, you know, I hope?"

"I didn’t choose that Rafe…" "Fuck Y/N you’re the last person I want to go out with!" your ego takes a hit. You knew he didn’t like you, but not that much.

You say nothing and lower your head, you feel the tears pouring down your cheeks. You hear the door slammed severely and when you raise your head, there is no one.

You burst into tears like a child, it was your first sorrow of love and in addition it was bad.

you got up to take all the things that remind you of its existence and you all threw away, photo, clothes everything.

but you felt even worse when you saw a picture of yourself and him in a photo booth, you remember you were on his lap because of the small space, you kissed his cheek for one of the photos and he ran his head in his neck for another.

You felt bad and guilty.

______________________________________________

The days that followed you avoided the boys, too embarrassed. You knew Rafe must have told them about, your altercation with him.

And you weren’t happy when you saw your cousin Ariana in your room on a Sunday morning with more than ten suitcases.

She was beautiful, much more than you and that, you don’t know if you could bear it.

You decided to spend your vacation in your bed feeling down but with Ariana around, and her melanin raising her tan had to be flawless.

It wasn’t a problem until she decided your huge garden wasn’t well placed to sunbathe, so she took you back to the beach for your greatest misfortune.

You who never liked to show your body you had come straight to hell.

Doing all of his things that you weren’t used to did only annoy you even more.

______

You were reading your novel when she came into your room excited, you asked Sarah to take care of her if she just had a day that couldn’t take it anymore.

She throws a bag at you from a shop you didn’t know. You raise an eyebrow and she explains:

"We’re going out tonight to take a shower and put on what I bought you, I’ll fuck you and smooth your hair by what you look like Mrs Crumble in Daybreak."

 she raising her top to expose her chest smaller than yours, you would love to have hers, you no longer tell the story of how many times Rafe fought what weird guys looked at your breast for too long.

"I don’t want to" you say when you put the bag on the floor." I don’t give a shit you get up, if I get attacked it’ll be because you’re not there, you got thirty minutes." She’s going to your bathroom, so you have to use the shared bathroom.

______________________________________________

"Stop fidgeting," Ariana says, "I let you straighten my hair, put on my makeup, and now you make me wear a dress like this?" what?" said she offended." I chose it for you!"

The dress that Ariana had chosen for you was white, it was transparent at the level of your breasts and had a small slit on the side, it was not even halfway to your thighs it was short and the hips that you did not really help. So yes, you didn’t like that dress.

Ariana gently grabs your hand and you look at her "I swear to God, if anyone makes a comment about your body or your dress I’ll kill it, okay?"

She gave you a sincere smile and you just smiled back.

______________________________________________

You had arrived with Ariana at the party, you didn’t know where she was until you realized it was at Topper’s! your heart thought it exploded when you walked through the door.

Ariana wanted to drink, so when she started wanting to take you to drinks you refused, why? by the fact that the landmark of the three kooks was near the drinking table, it is there that we find the most beautiful girls.

You were waiting on your phone in a corner of the house for Ariana to come back when someone shoved you, you do not raise your head to make you small but the person recognized you. Y/N it’s you? damn it!" you raise your head and see Kelce.

"Hey, Kelce, it’s been a long time." You say embarrass. "A little while ago!" He laughs and puts his arm on your shoulders, you try to get rid of his grip without him realizing it but without result.

"Guys guess who I found!" he said cheerfully drawing attention to you.

You turn the rete and look one by one at the people sitting, your eyes meet those of Rafe but it quickly breaks the contact to detail you, it blocks on your breasts little veiled. You barely have the temos to readjust your glasses as Topper jumps at you.

He squeezes you so hard that if he continues he will crush you "We ghoster it was not cool," he said while letting you go. You apologize and notice a new figure arrived

a girl a little taller than you with short hair and a beautiful chest with beautiful hips, quite the opposite of you.

She says hello to no one and goes to sit on the rafe legs, he approaches his head from his ear and whispers something to her. She laughs and kisses him. Your belly turns and you feel your heart being destroyed little by little.

"Y/N I’ve been looking for you for ten minutes, if you don’t move your ass, I swear you’re sleeping on the floor tonight!" said Ariana, joining you.

You wave at everyone and Ariana walks beside you, you take her red cup and the wood in dry ass, she looks at you shocked. "Tonight we better have fun" you demand from Ariana.

She smiles at you and takes you to the dance floor.

______________________________________________

It must be at least three hours since you got here, you stopped counting how many drinks you drank from the fifth, you’re still dancing alone this time by what Ariana, found a fool by the pool leaving you alone.

you make sensual movements alone when hands land on your hips you do not remove them and continue to stick tight with a stranger.

Suddenly he grabs your hand and tries to drag you, you follow him until you realize he’s trying to take you upstairs, where all the rooms are. You struggle but nothing does it is much stronger than you.

You tell him you don’t want to but he always holds your hands firmly until your is called away, the person calling you uses a firm tone and you turn your head to come face to face with Rafe.

The guy stops and Rafe raises an eyebrow, you barely stand up and your glasses are badly put on, your right breasts and has two fingers out of your cleavage and your glasses are badly put on.  Rafe has to admit it if he could, he’ll fuck you doggy-style in front of everyone to show who you belong to.

Rafe casts an evil glance at the stranger who peews the escape as fast as he can, leaving you in front of Rafe playing with your hands.

You smile at the frog you just made with your hands.

You raise your head and Rafe has her eyes on you, his eyes filled with lust compared to yours which are as innocent as a doe. you put your hands in front of his face "look I made a frog" you smile and he grabs your hand and takes you upstairs.

you do not dispute and follow him like a nice girl, he opens a room to the nose and once inside, he attacks your lips by kissing them aggresively, Rafe hungry, hungry for you. And when your body accidentally sticks to yours. Rafe wants to fuck you.

He pushes you on the bed, you fall on your back, he takes off his teeshirt." If you don’t stop staring at me with his eyes I swear I’ll make you come so much that everyone will hear you scream my name, darling."

You accidentally bite your lower lip, grab on the bed and start to approach you, you step back and your back finds the head of the bed. Rafe laughs before catching your thighs firmly. He gets in between and starts lifting ra dress, his cock becomes painful when he sees your purple panties

He starts kissing your belly and then comes down slowly, he kisses your thighs and gets closer and closer to your pussy you moan so hard while he hasn’t even started.

he starts kissing your pussy through your panties, he can swear he can feel you dripping. "Rafe.." You moan " Yes ma'am?" "Please, touch me." You managed to ask. Rafe takes off your panties and his tongue starts sucking your clitoris, you moan so hard just for that, if rafe gives you his cock you’ll scream?

Rafe passes his tongue between your soaked folds, your taste on his tongue, he will become addicted! he sucks your clitoris when he pushes a finger inside you. You scream his name, so if he starts to move his fingers in you, he remembers you’re a virgin.

His dick wants you, you want it too you just don’t say it. You feel your orgasm coming when rafe withdraws, you frown and he starts to take off his shorts and then, his shorts. You look with amazement at his huge cock, he took it in hand and jerked it off

"It’s never going to come home, Rafe!" you say with fear. "It’s going to come home trust me." He starts rubbing it against your folds and sinks his pin inside you, you moan. Your moan gives him the strength to push violently inside you. You scream and your hands cling to the sheets. He starts slowly he leans over you and you drop the sheets and grab his biceps. "You’re so fucking tight!" He’s groaning in your ear, his kidney squeals other times quiet and slow is accelerating, he’s getting more violent and you’re screaming in pain. Rafe please stop! you’re hurting me!" You yell Rafe continues her violent push " wrap your legs around my waist, it will hurt less! "

you listen to his advice and the pain subsides but he continues to plow you, he insults you with all the names "You take so well my dick bitch!" if I take myself away from you is what you will put me under for my dick like the bitch you are!"

you stick your head in his neck, his push is hard to take and when he hits you 85% and in your G-spot. Your orgasm comes and you scream are name- It’s not like you did it all the time or he destroyed you- He doesn’t stop his thrusts are orgasm is not far last you but the tears rise you, he is too hard and his hard to bear.

when he finally ejaculates in you , he screams your name. he takes off from you and your pussy feels alone, comle if it had just lost life . Rafe grabs his phone and positions it above you, you ask him what he is doing and he simply answers you: "You are the most beautiful thing I have seen at the moment does not ruin everything. he said while kissing you.

______________________________________________

the next morning you wake up in the same room as the day before, this time alone. You take your things and start walking out of the room as calmly as possible so you don’t wake up. "Y/N you don’t have breakfast with us?" You jump and turn the rete to notice Rafe, Kelce and Topper were watching you. Kelce and Topper show a smirk.

"Should I go home sorry guys next time maybe?" Rafe gets up and walks up to you he bends over and captures your lips in a quick kiss "I’ll get dressed and walk you home" he begins to climb the stairs leaving you with the two acolytes.

"Since the time of course you can tell us how it was? " said kelce bringing you the seat next to him. you limp and sit next to them "He didn’t go there with soft hands says Topper"

______________________________________________ .

.

.

.

[ch0k3herwithaseaview]

@jegulus-microfic | feb 6 murder | words: 472

„I’m going to fucking LOSE IT!” James heard as he entered the flat. There was some more cursing, giggles here and there and then a loud thud of something hitting the wall.

Panicked and a little confused, James didn’t even bother to take off his shoes or jacket as he rushed to the living room. He was far more confused at what he saw there: Barty and Evan were rolling on the carpet with breathless laughter, while Regulus threw another water bottle in their direction. And it wasn’t even the confusing part - that he was familiar with. What got him shocked was Regulus’ hair color – instead of his normal jet black waves, sitting on his head was something like malachite afro.

“Crouch you’re dead! I swear, I’m going to murder you! How could you do that to me?!” Regulus shouted like a madman, and to be perfectly honest with you, he had every right to act that way. Anyone who knew Reg, knew his hair were untouchable for the whole humankind, with a few exceptions. James had a feeling the list of exceptions was changed while he was at Sirius’.

Barty and Evan didn’t stop laughing when Reg took a mug from the nearby table and started aiming at them. That was James’ call to move from his safe space at the living room’s entry and catch his boyfriend’s hand before anyone got hurt any more.

The moment James touched Regulus, the shorter man whipped his head at the lightspeed towards him. His eyes were shooting daggers at first, but as soon as he realized who he is looking at, the storms in those gray eyes turned softer, then horrified and finally sad. Tears gathered in them, his Adam’s apple bobbing with a thick swallow.

“James…” Regulus choked out like he actually was about to lose it.

James just smiled at him sweetly, putting down the still held mug. He took Reg’s face into his hands, wiping away the lonely tear that got out of its prison in black-haired green-haired man’s eye.

“I really like that color” James said quietly before kissing his boyfriend’s nose. Regulus just smiled wobbly at him. The sweet moment didn’t last long, though.

“You two – get out of my flat before I kill you” Regulus said coldly to his friends, who by the way, still laid on the floor. Barty snickered at him and Evan just smiled, a little apologetic, before they gathered themselves and went to the door. “Don’t bother coming anytime soon!”

“Love you too, Reggie!” was heard before the doors closed.

“So…” James started slowly, still holding his boyfriend close. “How exactly did that happen?”

“The green” Regulus started “because I’ve lost a bet. The perm” his face twisted “because they’re mean.”

James just laughed a little at that. “Thank god for Elle Woods, than” he said, walking Reg straight to the bathroom.

[starlightazriel]

BAD BOY AZ FINAL PART <3 (I KNOW IM CRYING TOO)

warnings: FLUFF (you're welcome its not easy for me), smut, jealous az, childhood trauma effecting relationships(abandonment issues and overthinking everything), feeling unworthy, lots of time jumps

a/n: im sorry this took so long it shouldn't have because its short :( i struggled greatly. i just wanted to thank you guys for all the love ive received on this series, im just as sad as y'all but all good things must come to an end, i will eventually add additional drabbles for this series too and there's so many other things im working on rn, i hope y'all stick with me and read them i love you, requests are open. <3

additional parts can be found on my azriel masterlist

wc: 2.3k

"You know, I meant what I said the other night," Azriel says, leaning against the counter, his hands on either side of him. Y/n was sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen, her feet dangling as she sat on the counter, her hair was disheveled from sleep, hickeys covered over the one that Lucien had given her, Azriel couldn't bare to keep looking at it, so he'd remedied that the morning after they made love. They were spending time at his house now, her parents weren't coming back until Sunday so they had been at Azriels, fucking, making love, a lot of kissing, more than he had ever done in his life.

Fear gnawed at him, the anxiety was like a rock in his gut. But he ignored it, he was trying to change, trying to embrace other feelings.

"What did you say?" she cocks her head to the side, meeting his gaze, he swallows, his cheeks growing warm.

"I just said that um.." he struggles a little bit, his eyes shifting away from hers, "I want a fresh start with you.. I want-" he cuts himself off, feeling embarrassed. "Just want you to get everything the right way, the way that you deserve... Im probably not going to be any good at it, but I want to try," he swallows again, his eyes lifted back to hers, his chest warms at the smile on her face and he can't help but return it.

"Az I would love that," she breaths out. They hadn't really talked about anything in the past few days. He hated that the reason was because she was afraid to scare him away again, afraid that if she spoke about things that made him uncomfortable that she would lose him again. He hated that she had to be afraid about anything, she didnt realize that he wouldn't leave, even if he pushed her away. He physically couldn't stay away from her.

He was struggling for sure, especially with things like that, it made him feel even more like he didnt deserve her. He didnt deserve her kindness and her understanding, her love.

"So... See a movie with me tomorrow," he suggests, licking over his bottom lip.

He knew there was still things to worry about. His plans after graduation, which now seemed almost impossible, earning the approval of her parents who never seemed to like him much, even the thought of the approaching summer stressed him out. But right now.. Right now he just wanted to show her what she was truly worth, make her feel the way that he should have from the very beginning.

"I would love that too," she grins back at him, leaning her hands back on the counter, her feet swinging, gently tapping the cabinets. He wished he could freeze the moment forever, just there with her, in his kitchen, his t-shirt, oversized on her, draped over that beautiful body. And she was his, she loved him. "Az the pancakes," she reminds him, and her words cause him to snap out of his haze.

"Oh shit," he turns, smoke curling up from the pan. "I burnt them butterfingers, you distracted me," he smiles sheepishly pulling the pan off of the stove.

"Azriel, I didn't do anything," she laughs, shaking her head. "You should have just let me make them, I told you," she smirks, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You don't have to do anything to always have my attention," and it was true, every time she was in his presence she consumed it. He figured, saying things like that were easier than saying I love you. She still hadn't said it again, he didnt blame her. He knew how she felt though, even if she was afraid of scaring him off again.

Her eyes gleamed at the statement, like it had warmed her insides. He blushed, when had he started getting flustered? "What are we going to eat?" she asks, a small pout forming on her lips.

"I should just eat you for breakfast," he says, closing the space between them so he was standing in front of her now , he rested his hands on her knees, slowly started sliding up, his fingers pressing gently. She bites her lip, her eyes drifting over his body carefully like she was trying to remember each and every one of his tattoos. She giggles softly when he burys his face in her neck, pulling her to the edge of the counter. "Shower with me," he mumbles softly against her neck, placing soft wet kisses there.

She giggles again quietly, nodding her head and he picks her up, carrying her to the bathroom. He sets her on her feet and kisses her forehead again, before slowly pulling his shirt that she was wearing over her head. He bites his lips softly, watching her breasts spring free, he hums and turns her around, bending down and slowly pulling her panties off, marveling up at her beautiful body. I love you. He didn't say it out loud though. He turns the water on and checks the temperature before gently tapping her ass as if to push her along into the shower. She laughs again. "Thanks Az," she hums softly, stepping under the warm water. "But don't forget I'm still hungry," she adds, glancing back at him, the curtain only half closed.

His lips twitch as he looks at her hungrily, pulling his own pants and socks off so he could join her.

"I gotchu baby," he nods, stepping into the shower with her. "Cereal remember?" he mumbles and she scrunches her nose at him.

"Maybe we should just go out for breakfast Az," she laughs and shakes her head at him, he smirks down at her shrugging his shoulders. He uses a washcloth, squeezing soap over her and watching it run down her perfect little perky breasts. "You look so good," he whispers, his eyes finding hers again. It was getting easier... The intimacy, the eye contact. The more time they spent, the easier it seemed to get. Azriel picked her up again, and she squealed.

"Az, I swear if you drop me," she breaths out, he could feel her heart pounding, their chests pressed together.

"I would never butterfingers," he mumbles softly, pressing more kisses to her wet skin. "Im gonna fuck you now," he mumbles, pressing her body against the wall of the shower her back arches at the coolness of the tile and she moans softly. "Put it in baby," he grunts softly, his lips everywhere, needy and desperate. He would never be able to get enough of her. Her breathing was heavy as she reached between the two of them, her hands sliding between their slippery bodies, no space between them. She pulls at his cock and he lets out a small sigh of relief as he buries himself inside her, filling her all the way up.

"Oh," she gasps out, her head tilting back against the tiles, he holds her up, burying himself inside of her over and over again.

"Fuckkk," he moans into her ear, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and desperate with each stroke. "You feel so good," he whispers into her ear, his voice husky and needy. She presses her bare chest against him, moaning again her release shaking through her whole body. Azriel groans softly at the feeling of her walls fighting around him before he spills himself inside her. They stayed like that for a while, water running over their faces, between their bodies, breaths heavy, chests heaving.

"How'd I get so lucky?" Azriel breaths out before gently setting her back down on her feet.

"You're not just lucky Az, you deserve this. Everyone deserves to be happy."

-

Azriel had been quiet since he picked me up from my house for out very first date as... A couple?

I could tell he was more nervous around me now. Like he was more careful, like he wanted to do everything perfectly for me. He would get flustered and shy any time he dared to say something that was sweet and out of character for him. It warmed me to my very bones.

"So this is your first real date?" Azriel asks, breaking the silence between us, his spliff hanging lazily from his lips. "Shot?" he asks after, offering me his flask, I take a small one before handing it back. We were in the parking lot at the cinema, Azriel had insisted that we had to pregame before going in.

"Thank you," I say and smile, our eyes meeting. "I mean technically yes it is, unless you count-"

"Count what?" he interrupts me, his expression shifting slightly. My cheeks burned as I recalled the night that I had shared with Lucien.

"I was just gonna say unless you count double dates," I add softly, his jaw flexes, and he looks away from me, staring forward out the windshield.

"Almost forgot about that tool," he mumbles, taking another long drag of the spliff, I watch him, pulling my lip between my teeth. Hes silently fuming, not looking at me, his jaw flexing and unflexing. "I should knock him out the next time I see him," Azriel shrugs, his eyes still trained on the windshield in front of him.

"I didnt actually fuck him Azriel... We just.." I trail off, remembering the night well. It hadn't been that long ago...

"Spare me the details," he mutters, shrugging his shoulders. "Lets go in," he opens his door, getting out of the car. I sigh softly, my eyes narrowing slightly at him.

"Must you always drink?" I ask quietly, watching as he finished off the flask and shoved it in his pocket.

"Not always," he shrugs and reaches his hand out for me, I give him a look but take his hand anyway.

"It's my first real date with someone that I love," it was the first time I voiced the word since that night I had been drunk on his chest months ago. I felt his hand tighten around mine, and he turned his head back, giving me a smile.

-

"Fuck you guys doing?" Azriel walks in to Rhys' and Cass' apartment, his hand in y/n's, pulling her behind him. She was nervous, he could tell. They were older than Azriel, which was mainly what she had been worried about, she had told him earlier that s he thought they would just think she was a baby. Azriel had assured her that they wouldn't care, though he knew they would comment on it later. Maybe even poke fun at him for it.

"Not a damn," Cass answers, his eyes landing on y/n, his brows raise as he surveys her, stopping at her hand tucked neatly away in Azriels, he had never seen that before. "Who's this?" he nods his head, beaming at her, she swallows, biting down softly on her lip.

"This is y/n," Azriel says casually. He hadn't spoken a word about her to them yet, he figured they would put it together, that this was the exact reason he had been behaving the way he was recently. "Y/n, meet my brothers, Rhys and Cass," Azriel points to both of them and she waves, smiling sheepishly as she takes in their appearance.

"Welcome y/n, I don't think we ever thought this day would come," Rhys chimes in finally, Cass begins snickering from his seat. "And this is your..." Rhys trails off, his eyes landing back on Azriel, Cass is grinning stupidly, expectantly in the corner waiting to see what Azriel was going to say, almost like a teen girl watching a reality show. This was new for both of them, Azriel had never brought a girl to meet them before, not since maybe middle school, but that didnt count.

"She's my baby," Azriel shrugs casually, his ears were hot, he knew they would poke relentless fun at him for ages.

"Your baby?" Rhys repeats, his tone laced with amusement, Cass is snickering again from his corner, a pause on the spliff he was rolling as he listened.

"He means to say his girlfriend," y/n chimes in, Azriel could tell she felt comfortable here, no more shyness in sight. Rhys and Cass were like that though, their vibe was just... Easy. All of their eyes snap to her and she smiles cheekily. "But hes absolutely petrified of the word," she tacks on, Azriel feels his cheeks burn and he shoots her a warning look. He'd get her back later. It wasn't that he was petrified of it... It was just that he couldn't get used to it.

"I like her Az, keep her," Cass is still chuckling to himself, marveling slightly. He never thought he'd see the day Az would bring home a girl.

"You two are embarrassing."

-

The pair were sitting on the beach, the warm summer air kissing their skin, the only sound was the ocean and the fair they had just come from off in the distance.

Azriel turned, admiring the way her hair ruffled in the breeze, in this moment, he didnt care about anything. Neither of them did. Azriel had decided not to move away, he was looking for a real job, hunting for an apartment that would be close enough to town that they could still be together... He knew there was still things to figure out, winning over her parents, that were nice enough but still looked down on him as if he would never be good enough for their daughter, the fact that she would eventually graduate, probably go off to college...

She wasnt worried though. She loved him enough to know that no matter what happened, or where they were... That nothing could break the bond they had built.

"Y/n, I love you," the words slipped out as Azriel gazed upon her, feeling so whole, so free yet so safe at the same time. He couldn't help himself. She deserved to know, anyway.

Her heart warmed, she turned toward him, leaning in, embracing the feel of his body against hers.

"I love you so much Azriel," she responds softly, their eyes fixed on one anothers. It was so easy now. For both of them.

"Thank you baby," he whispers softly, his throat bobbing. "Thank you for never giving up."

-

a/n: * not proof read yet, also im sorry its short don't hate me or kill me, i tried to warn y'all im trash at writing anything besides angst, i seriously struggled writing this because i feel like i forced it when I succk omg plus i feel like their story could have been over with the last part but i wanted to give you guys more you deserve all the fluff after everything we've been through. so here is your happy ending, i love you, stay tuned for what im working on next. <3

[thewitchandtheassassin]

A Pirate's Life for Me Finale (Wanda M x Reader x Natasha R.)

Summary: There was something odd about the dark void you found yourself floating within.

Words: 1305

Warnings: Language, mentions of near death.

A/N: We say goodbye to our dear pirates. This story... started something amazing for me. I found my partner because of it. So this is very bittersweet and wonderful at the same time. All of this was written for her and in the end, I'm just excited to keep writing things like this for her and for everyone to enjoy. So this is its final sendoff. I hope you all loved it the way I did.

Taglist: @natasharomanoffswife​ @natasha-danvers​ @aaron-despair​ @username23345 @xjiasx​ @nowthisisliving27 @higherfurther-romanova​ @summergeezburr @imnotasuperhero @miscmarvelwritings @captain-josslett @onlyafewfindtheway @hayleyokami @b-5by5 @lostandsearching @evilcr0ne​ @nightingalexx​@suki-is-a-queen @kaosrsing

-X-

There was something odd about the dark void you found yourself floating within. It didn’t have the finality you expected and truthfully, everything still hurt. You had expected death to wash away the aches of life and yet every breath made you want to cry out in pain.

Another sharp feeling within your chest forced air from your lungs and you jolted headfirst out of the darkness. Into… something, with light far too bright and an overbearing heat that left your stomach rolling like waves in a storm.

Where am I going?

-X-

The first thing you noticed as consciousness began to dawn was how fucking cold you were. It felt like it was burrowed deep into your very soul, freezing you from the inside out.

And then you discerned twin flames burning into your front and back, the heat almost agonizing as it attempted to drive out the chill. It was as though your body had been placed upon a lit campfire and for a moment, you expected to smell burning flesh and hear the crackle of your skin but you didn’t. All you could hear were low voices, trapped in the fog of pain and delirium.

“She is so cold,” one of them murmured weakly, a profound sadness in their words and suddenly there was a fire settling upon your chest, just above the heart.

“She is alive. That is all we could ask for. She needs our warmth and our love. She will return to us, my love,” another voice responded, the pressure on your chest growing intense.

You could recognize them, just barely. The flames that often set your heart ablaze whenever they were near. Instinctively, you wanted to curl into them but the overwhelming heat left you wanting to squirm away.

It was quite the cacophony of warring emotions and you disliked it significantly.

There was a long, pained moan and it took a moment to realize it had come from you. The voices around you went silent, only the sounds of bated breath reaching your ears and you moaned again, shifting slightly away from the warmth that was beginning to leave your bones aching.

“No, malysh, don’t move. You need to warm up or you could…” Wanda’s soft words trailed off as her hands rolled you closer.

“Hurts,” you croaked, the salt of the sea having left your throat cracked and sore. “Hot.”

One bleary eye drifted open, exposing the red-rimmed eyes of Natasha as she stared at you with barely controlled joy. A strong hand landed on your shoulder, keeping you firmly in place. “I know, honey, but you cannot move. Your body needs to warm up. You were in the water too long. You were nearly frozen when Yelena found you and brought you to the surface. Your...” Natasha released a shuddering breath. “Your heart had stopped beating. We did not know if we could bring you back.”

Slowly taking stock of your pained body, there was an undeniable ache in your chest and you remembered the black void of nothingness. How weightless you’d felt, despite the agony wracking through you.

“Oh…” you exhaled sharply, wincing at the tug of your lungs.

Wanda’s body trembled against your back, her anguished sobs escaping in harsh pants as her face pressed between your shoulders. It was horribly tender, the skin raw from stone and brine and muscles taut with the stiffness of a corpse, but you wouldn’t deny her this comfort. Your unsteady hand lifted to pet the hand resting on your hip, “We thought we had lost you!”

Bile drifted up your aching throat. They had, if only for a moment. No longer attached to your flesh, you had accepted your fate, intending to let the void swallow you whole. But you couldn’t admit that, not now.

“I’m here,” you whispered reassuringly, your weak squeeze of her hand only spurning the sobs on. Peering at the redhead before you, you watched similar tracks begin to form on her cheeks. “I’m here.”

-X-

The first week of your recovery was a haze of consciousness. You’d find yourself drifting in and out, the lull of the waves rocking the ship dragging you back into a needed rest. Galaxies were painted across your ribs and torso from your descent into painful waters; at first a grizzly reddish purple splatter that slowly drifted into a smattering of greens and yellows.

A parting gift from Rumlow, you supposed.

You could still feel the ache and shift of your bones whenever you moved, but it had transformed into a dull throb instead of the daggers being shoved into your chest cavity. What drove you crazy was how your two lovers treated you. As if you were made of glass. As if one wrong touch would forge spider webs into your reflection and shatter you across the bedroom floor.

It was truly maddening.

Eyes narrowing as Natasha coolly stalked about the room, bringing you a full waterskin and a plate of fruit, you gripped her arm with surprising strength as she got closer.

“I am perfectly capable of joining the crew for a meal, you know,” you huffed, feeling your heart twinge at the brief flicker of hurt in her eyes. “I appreciate that you care, darling, but I cannot spend the rest of my life in this bed. My body is healing, but staying trapped in bed all day is driving my mind to the brig.”

Slowly settling on the mattress beside you, Natasha’s head bowed as she stared at your hand as it drifted down to hers, fingers tangling together.

“We almost lost you. I almost lost you. And I cannot bear that thought. I always believed Wanda to be the only person I would need in this life… until we met you. Now I cannot stomach the idea of losing either of you. The two of you have become the center of my universe. The glory and the gold is all fine and well but to lose either of you would break me.” She sniffled, a lone tear falling onto the back of your combined hands. “I know you are capable. I know that you are not made of parchment or glass. But I just… need you to be safe. I need to know you are alive. That we… did not lose you and this is all some desperate dream.”

Twisting in bed, your free hand lifted to her cheek and tilted her head in your direction. Glistening eyes met yours and you surged forward, ignoring the brief shock of pain. Your lips found chapped flesh but you didn’t care, pouring your love and warmth and life into the embrace.

“You did not lose me,” you promised breathlessly, mouth repeatedly pressing into hers. “I am here. With you. With Wanda. With the women I love and want and need. You need to believe that or you will send yourself into the gallows of darkness and despair.”

Incessant hands wound their way into your disheveled hair, dragging you closer. It hurt but this was the firmest anyone had been with you in weeks and you hadn’t realized how desperate you’d been for such a touch until now. Teeth sunk into your lip and tugged, pulling a whine from deep within your throat.

“You’re here,” she whispered, pushing her forehead against yours. “You’re alive.”

“Forever,” you swore, knowing deep within your heart that you could never leave their sides; for as long as you had breath, it was theirs.

“Always. I have found my treasures and I intend to keep them with me for as long as I live.”

Chuckling lowly, you slowly fell backwards, yanking the fierce pirate with you. “What a pirate’s life for you then, I suppose.”

Capturing her smile with yours, you knew this was exactly the life for you.