#'even if you kill me i win and you lose' is SUCH a choice mad laughing breakdown flavor and i can only stan

[violetasteracademic]

Master list here if you'd like to read the entire fic Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow, or just enjoy this spicy scene that is perfect for this week's @elriel-month prompt! (there will be some spoilers and missing build up/context for the fic but live your life babes)

Thank you to @fauxdette a fellow Virgo who is unmatched at creating aesthetic vibes for graciously offering some guidance on how to make a stunning header!

If You Won't Touch Me

Chapter 4: Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow

Word Count: 3,625

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Orgasm control, orgasm edging, light bondage

Elain

Elain knew Azriel was watching her the entire way home. The winged hound trotted alongside her, and it only made her even angrier how positively precious it was. His tail wiggled as he walked, adorably over-sized eyes peering up at her every so often. Jagged little shadow teeth ready to snap at so much as a bug that dared to fly too close to her. She half wanted to pet him.

I’m not going to touch you, Elain. Not with my hands. Not with my mouth. Not with my tongue or my teeth. Not until you decide that I am the only one who will have the privilege of doing so.

She began to shiver again, and it had nothing to do with the cold. Azriel knew exactly what he was doing. How he affected her. He had to know she was bluffing about calling for Lucien… He had to know he was the only one she wanted. And still he refused her until she could admit it. Until she could promise he’d be the last male to ever touch her. Prick. What an absolute prick.

She’d almost told him that was already the plan, that she could never think twice about another male after him. But he decided to play games, and she didn’t want to let him win. To give him the satisfaction of knowing she came running after him, ready to offer whatever he asked for. Once again, she had exposed herself. Presented her body to him like a damn cake platter and he still turned away.

She almost went down that dark road again, nearly losing herself to the madness of questioning her own sanity when it came to Azriel, but… he had exposed himself tonight too, hadn’t he? Even if you are not my mate, Elain Archeron, somehow I am yours. She tilted her head up to the stars and took a deep breath. Reminding herself of the things he said, and how she felt the truth of them deep in her bones. It was real. It was always real.

She was here. In Velaris. Walking home under the starlight with Azriel’s shadowhound at her feet. She had very little doubt that Azriel himself was trailing nearby, keeping to the shadows.

He thought he was her mate, even if she was someone else’s. She didn’t care about any of that. The mating bond meant nothing to her, less than nothing. She didn’t need such a bond to know she could want him forever. But… it seemed to mean something to him. It seemed to mean a great deal to everyone except her. She had been Fae for well over a year now, but she still struggled to make sense of how archaic it all was. The human lands weren’t that much better in how they valued women. It was clear to her now that Grayson likely only wanted her for her dowry. But if she wanted to say no to him, she could have. He’d have had no grounds to go to war or kill over it. It was always her choice.

She made it back to the townhouse and saw Nuala and Cerridwen waiting quietly in the shadows. Azriel must have sent for them. They each gave a slight tilt of their heads in question. Elain only shook her head and extended her arms, letting them shadow-walk her into her room undetected. Rhys and Feyre were blessedly only here for one more night before they were to return to the river house and resume their High Lord and High Lady duties full time after a long Solstice break. Longer than usual, due to Feyre’s pregnancy.

“We’ll be here if you need us,” Nuala offered before giving her arms a gentle squeeze. Elain nodded graciously, but did not request that they stay. She needed to be alone.

Her skin was still flushed after she removed her coat. In fact, she was burning up. Gods, had she come down with a fever from walking around in the cold? She didn’t feel sick, just… hot. Hot all over. Rage and frustration and need sunk so deep beneath her skin she thought she might lose her mind.

I won’t touch you.

Fine. That was just fine. He wanted to play games? Maybe it was time for Azriel to learn what it felt like for her to take back control. To make him putty in her hands for once. She walked over to the window and pulled the curtains open. She could see where Azriel’s cluster of shadows hid in the dark corners of the garden. Watching. Listening. There was no doubt in her mind he was there. That he’d stay until he saw the lights go out, and a long while after that to make sure she was safe. She unlatched the window and pushed it open. The shadows perked up at the motion and began slithering up the walls.

He had no idea what he was in for.

She kept the dim faelights glowing and waited until she could sense the presence of Azriel and his shadows at the window. She twisted her hair around her wrist, pinning it atop her head to expose her neck. She slowly pulled her nightgown over her head and dropped it to the floor, leaving nothing but sheer underthings and her thigh high stockings behind. She went to unclasp her bra when she felt hands made of shadow wrap around her wrists.

Elain. She heard the shadows whisper into her mind. Azriel. Talking to her in the way only she could hear. Not the daemati powers that Feyre and Rhys shared with each other. But… something else.

What? She sent back, shrugging innocently as the shadows swarmed around her.

Is there a reason you flung your window open to the freezing cold and started undressing for all to see?

My room is feeling a little too warm. I needed fresh air. And not everyone can see me, Azriel. She reached for the back of her bra again. She wasn’t stopped this time. Only you.

In an instant, her window slid closed and the curtains drew shut. Azriel, or the outline of his form wreathed in shadow, kept to the corner of the room.

“What are you doing,” Azriel asked. No amusement in his voice.

She lost no confidence. He had already shown his hand, coming into her room in the blink of an eye just knowing she was undressing. He could have stayed at the apartment. Kept his shadows quiet in the garden. But he was here.

“You won’t touch me. So I have to take care of it myself.” She dropped her bra to the floor. Azriel’s shadows guttered. “Is there a problem? I don’t recall that being against your rules.” She slid her panties down to her ankles and gingerly stepped out of them. She had to stop herself from grinning as Azriel finally stepped out of the shadows, his hands white knuckled at his side.

She reached to start rolling down her stockings when shadows shot for her hands again.

“Wait,” Azriel whispered, his voice thick and dark. “Don’t take those off.”

She looked down at herself, stripped completely naked save for the stockings. Clarity set her skin on fire.

“You like the way these look, shadowsinger?” She asked sweetly.

Azriel didn’t speak. He only nodded.

“Very well, then.” Elain turned her back to him, taking a slow stride to the bed and swishing her hips more generously than was entirely necessary.

She crawled onto the bed, exposing her entire backside to him. She heard him mutter a low stream of curses and she bit her lip before propping herself up against the pillows and letting her legs fall open.

She was already slick between her thighs. The sheer sight of Azriel hardening through his pants and clenching his fists so hard he was shaking nearly sent her over the edge. She had spent her entire life being made to feel like the only thing about her that was worth anything was her beauty. But no one, no one had ever looked at her the way Azriel looked at her. From that very first moment, she felt as if he saw past her skin and into her soul. And while Lucien occasionally looked at her like he wanted her, falling prey to the call of the mating bond, Azriel looked at her like he would die if he couldn’t have her. It scared her, how mutual that feeling was. But it also made her brave.

“Where would you start, shadowsinger? If touching me wasn’t against your rules.” She smiled coyly.

Her smugness evaporated when Azriel sent out a wisp of shadow to clasp around her wrist. Her mouth fell open, and he guided her bound hand up to her lips, pushing her fingers inside.

“Suck,” Azriel ordered.

Elain gushed as she obeyed.

One point to Azriel. Oh gods. That fast, she was going to lose this game tonight.

Her chest was already heaving as he used his shadows to slide her wet fingers down to her peaked nipples.

“I’d start here,” Azriel said. Calm. He was too calm. And Elain was already writhing as she flicked her fingers over the sensitive spot Azriel had guided her to, drawing tight circles around her nipples until they were sharp as cut diamonds.

“You’re breaking the rules,” she panted, but there was very little fight in it.

His expression didn’t change at all as he led her fingers down her sternum, her stomach.

“Am I?” His eyes glittered, full of filthy menace as he said, “I believe I said I wouldn’t touch you with my hands, my mouth, tongue, or teeth.” That damn half grin began to grace his wicked lips. “I don’t recall saying anything about my shadows.”

Elain nearly arced clean off the bed as he sent another tendril out for her free hand and pinned it over her head. He slid the hand on her stomach a little farther down, but not far enough. Elain’s hips bucked, and she desperately tried to push through the shadows. To press her fingers exactly where she needed them.

“Is this okay?” He asked quietly, flicking his gaze to where he had her wrist pinned.

“Yes,” she whispered. She watched his cock almost rip the front seam of his pants when she said, “Harder.”

She loved the feeling of being restrained. Of him controlling every inch of her body. Her touch. It helped her to focus and simultaneously lose herself entirely. She didn’t want to be treated like a glass vase.

She had no idea how to express that a little pain sometimes felt so good, but she didn’t have to explain herself to Azriel. There was no judgment in his hungry gaze, only understanding. His eyes lit with unrestrained desire as the grip on her tightened, and her hips lifted in response. He dragged her fingers lower, right where she needed them. He only let her manage a few strokes before he pulled her hand away. Elain whined in frustration.

“Azriel,” she breathed. She tried to lower the hand he had pressed just above the apex of her thighs, but she couldn’t budge. “Please.”

He pushed himself off the wall and stalked to the edge of the bed.

“Please what?” Another tendril slid across her, this one pinning her hips down and stopping her writhing and thrusting. She tried to rub her thighs together, desperate for friction, only to feel her ankles yank apart. Her legs spread to each corner of the bed and held firm. Oh, she was gong to absolutely ruin him when she had the chance. He wasn’t the only one who had restraints at their disposal.

“Please, Azriel. I need to, I need…” she babbled, but couldn’t finish as more shadows swarmed, sliding over every inch of her. They ghosted over her nipples, swept along the curve of her nape. They slid into her hair and gave a sharp tug. Elain bit her lip to keep from crying out. “Please let me touch myself,” she begged.

“Can you be quiet?” Azriel’s eyes were roving over her. At the black threads keeping her restrained. It only made her wetter. His eyes glazed over as they traveled, drinking in the sight of her bare skin wreathed in his shadows. His gaze snagged at the swollen bud between her spread open legs. She was aching and throbbing and soaking the sheets. She couldn’t withstand it much longer.

“I’ll be quiet,” Elain nodded furiously.

As if he saw straight through the lie, he enveloped them in a brilliant cobalt shield. She felt the quiet settle over her, the blue glow casting her skin in a radiant hue and the world outside of their little bubble completely cut off. She loosed a sigh of relief.

Azriel got down on his knees at the edge of the bed, nostrils flaring as he came eye level with Elain’s slick and pulsing center. She pushed and pushed against her bonds, but he held her down tightly. Watching him drink in the sight and the scent of her only made her more needy. She was going to burst out of her skin.

He moved her fingers lower again, letting her just brush over her clit. So light and teasing she wanted to scream from the lack of friction.

“Please,” she cried. She was moments away from tears pricking her eyes, that’s how desperate she was for release.

“Since you asked so politely,” he slowly snaked a shadow clean up her center. She gasped as it continued a slow, torturous trail up her body. Over her breasts. Lightly gripping around her neck. With one final cool grin, Azriel released his hold on her. She didn’t even bother to consider what she looked like or if her body was displayed in a beautiful way as she plunged her fingers down between her thighs. She lost herself completely, riding harder than she ever had before and grabbing at her breasts with her free hand.

“Azriel,” she panted, too lost in the sensation to feel ashamed or embarrassed by him watching her. She dragged her fingers in and out, pressing her palm hard against her clit as she pumped. She had done this so many times. Had thought of no one but Azriel for over a year. But to feel the phantom touch of his shadows lingering on her skin, to breathe in his cedar and night chilled mist scent while she touched herself… it was beyond any fantasy she could have imagined.

She was close. She wasn’t sure how such a thing could be possible, but she felt as though she could have come just from the grip of Azriel’s shadows, the sight of him watching her, controlling where she could touch. She had never teased herself like that. Had never pushed herself to the limits of sanity, riding the edge of need and being denied what she wanted. She hated it. And she loved it. Her mouth fell open and she moaned, thrusting her hips harder into her hand. She cried out, panting as Azriel sent his shadows roving back over her, skating across every inch of her skin. Tracing the sensitive inside of her thigh, swirling around her nipples that were so hard now they could cut glass. They threaded through her hair, gently tugging at her scalp, and she shattered.

Stars blinked across her vision as her climax crashed over her in wave after wave. She kept riding, kept moving and losing herself to the feel of her orgasm and Azriel’s shadows until it hurt, until she she was too sensitive, and collapsed on the bed.

Sweat beaded across her skin. Her mind buzzed and her vision was foggy.

Azriel’s shadows began to massage her scalp in soothing strokes. Her eyes blinked open.

He was standing at the foot of the bed again, his pupils blown and chest visibly heaving. His cock was absolutely enormous in the outline of his pants, and Elain’s mouth went dry as she pushed herself onto her knees and took in how large he was. She reached for him.

“No,” Azriel stopped her with both hands on her wrists. “Not tonight.”

“Why?” She asked. They were still shielded. He had kept her screaming completely contained. If she knew he could do that, she might not have waited so long to strip naked in front of him.

“I won’t be able to cover my scent. I’ve already been here too long.” His face looked truly pained as his gaze slid down her body one last time. He shook his head, attempting to clear the fog of lust.

“Come here,” he said. His voice was gentle now. All signs of that commanding male holding her completely at his mercy disappeared. She crawled to the edge of the bed, suddenly feeling self conscious about her nakedness. As if he could sense her worry, his shadows whisked her nightgown off the floor.

“Arms up,” he said. She did as she was asked. “Good girl.”

She trembled as he replaced his shadows with his hands to tug the cool silk down her skin. Then, he pulled her in close for a tight hug. He enveloped her so completely, and she nuzzled into him. Into the strength of his body. His delicious scent.

It was so calming, so tender it left her breathless.

“I wish I could stay,” he said into her hair.

“I wish you could too.” she buried her face in his neck and he tightened his grip on her.

"Elain?" Azriel asked, softly gliding his mouth over her skin.

"Yes?" She breathed in reply.

“Don’t forget what happens when you try to tease me,” he whispered against the shell of her ear. She shuddered, her arousal stirring once again.

And then he was gone.

Elain waited for shame to wash over her, but it never did. That moment he had offered, brief as it was, to hold her afterwards… he hadn’t touched her apart from that. And somehow it was more caring and intimate than anything she had ever experienced with Grayson. Grayson had a tendency to focus on himself in bed. To grunt and heave over her until he was finished, then roll over and fall asleep. More often than not leaving her unsatisfied and sneaking quietly into the bathing chamber to tend to her own needs.

Yet Azriel…Azriel had kept his eyes on her, as if simply watching her find her pleasure was a dream. A gift. He had dragged it out, pushed her to the edge of near insanity. And he had wanted nothing in return but to hold her.

She trembled once again as she replayed those last words whispered into her ear.

Don’t forget what happens when you try to tease me.

She certainly wouldn’t. She didn’t think she would ever forget a single detail of this night. She wanted more of Azriel. She wanted to kiss him. To feel is skin. She wanted him inside her. But she also knew he crossed some boundaries tonight. For her. And it was enough. For now, it was more than enough.

She went to peek out through the curtains and saw the shadowhound keeping watch in the garden. He waggled his wispy tail and fluttered his wings at the sight of her. Elain brought her hand to her mouth to hold in her laug, and waved. He puffed out a breath of shadow in the shape of a heart, and Elain’s own heart clenched in her chest.

For the first night in such a long, long time, she slept deeply and without interruption. The nightmares never came.

She dreamed of a golden doe dancing through a valley of shadows. She had never seen anything so beautiful.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

I want to say my peace on this just to get it out of my head. Political stuff, talking about the American election and everything.

I am probably going to vote for Joe Biden. I don't feel good about it. It makes me sick to my stomach. The man is awful. Trump has the conviction to make things far worse than Biden, so if forced to pick between the two unfortunately Biden is the better choice.

I also don't think Biden is going to win. He is woefully unpopular with the right and the left both. He has demolished every single ounce of goodwill he ever earned. His greatest saving grace was being better than Trump the first time, and since then he has so thoroughly botched his own PR that it has become increasingly difficult for people to say that genuinely.

Again, I say this as someone who is probably going to vote for him. But I legitimately can't imagine being mad at someone who doesn't. I mean, mad at someone who votes for Trump, of course, fuck those people. But someone who just wants to abstain? Someone who will go to the polls and vote on everything but the presidency? How can I blame someone for that?

At this point I don't think it's unfair to say Biden is a monster. He technically doesn't support Netanyahu, but he quite obviously supports Israel. He clearly has no compunctions with supporting the occupation, displacement, and genocide of Palestinians -- he shakes his fist impotently at Netanyahu because his actions make Israel look bad, not for any ideological reasons.

He's better than Trump. Getting shot in the foot is better than getting shot in the chest. I can't blame people for not being eager to get shot in the foot.

I just think it's important to maintain perspective here. If/when Biden loses, there are people we can blame. The people to blame aren't Palestinian-Americans who can't bring themselves to vote for someone who provides the bombs killing their families. The people to blame are the Republican party (for shaping themselves into a constant looming sword of Damocles hanging over all human rights) and the Biden administration itself (for being so dedicated to violent oppression they can't even realize that everyone looks at them like the insincere supervillains they are).

We go online and we fight and we argue and we yell and what is it for? We all recognize how fucked the system is, no one even disagrees on that anymore, we're all just yelling at each other over whether taking part in the system is complicity or resistance, and the fact is it's BOTH. Harm reduction is real, but so is this America-centric egotism that looks at the election between two genocidal old men as the most important decider in this conflict.

This isn't me making a call to action. I don't care whether or not anyone votes. I'm too goddamn tired to care. Because what does it matter? What does any of our petty internet squabbling matter when people are dying? When hundreds of children have been murdered?

I am tired and I am sad and I just don't care about presidents now. I might never again. Just...be kind to each other. Think about the things you say, your priorities. Whether you tick a box on a piece of paper or not matters far less than how you actually try to help people and spread awareness, okay? Please remember that.

[genezpen]

『 cruel 』

pairings: seungkwan × gn!reader

genre: ANGST‼️i feel the need to hurt everyone right now 😈

summary: seungkwan told you that he used you to win a bet.

warnings: drama w/o plot, this a bit slightly quite painful and has a huge impact on me :'), crying, harsh!seungkwan, mention of parents neglecting the reader, reader speaking from trauma, mention of vernon, someone using the reader for a bet, rejection (?) (lmk if i missed something or if i made a mistake!)

word counts: 597

notes: this is a very short drabble to let y'all know that a short fic of han, and hoshi is coming. i've never had a free time since my last uploaded fic so i would like to apologize to the sitting requests on my ask! i promise im working on them! also, pls don't hate verkwan! love lots ^^ (our exam week is next week, wish me a luck!)

“i never loved you.”

those exact words are enough to crush your wholeness. you almost hear your heart shattering on the pit of your stomach.

you felt bad. you are upset. you are disappointed.

the person you trusted the most just confessed that he fooled you. and for what?

“you're nothing but a bet. vernon lose, i won. now, it’s over.”

a bet. he won a bet. you are the bet.

and vernon? your bestfriend?

“what? aren't you mad at me? come on, y/n, hit me! i know you want to hurt me, too! i used you.” seungkwan grabbed your hand, forcing you to hit his hard chest.

but you're to numb to do so. as much as you want to show him how much it hurts you can die right now, you know physical pain wouldn't be enough.

he hit himself, he slap his cheek using your hand but you pulled it away. your eyes fixated on the ground while breathing fast, trying to stop your tears.

seungkwan then tried to find your line of vision but you keep avoiding it. not now. not when you're too fragile, too weak, too scared.

“come on, say something. lash out on me! i know you're upset—”

“i knew it...” your whispers made him shut up. something bitter spilled inside you. “i knew something was up the day you asked me out.” with shaking voice, you let it out.

even with a blurry eyes, you force yourself to meet his gaze only to see how shocked he was. seungkwan looked pale and his pupils were going back and forth on your eyes trying to find something you don't know of.

“don’t worry. i-i figured it out r-right away– you– i... knew this day would come.” you manage to utter those despite you choking on your own saliva and the nonstop tears.

you covered your face as you breakdown infront of seungkwan, shaking your head. so what if you look hopeless and pathetic right now? so what if he use this against you someday? so what if he makes fun of your misery right now. you don't want to think of the future at the moment. it hurts, it's killing you inside-out.

“you never actually like the cupcake i baked you, right? you never once liked my outfit every time we go out. you did not really want to say my 'i love yous' back, you just don't have a choice!”

fuck. this is a different kind of pain when your pet died in an accident. this is not the same pain you felt when your parents failed to recognize your academic success back in highschool. this pain is on another level. the one that could hold you back for years, again. the pain that brought you back to your thirteen year old self.

seungkwan did not say anything. he stood there frozen. you bet on your life, tomorrow everyone will turn their back on you. your colleagues will laugh at your situation. this has happened before, none of them was your friend, they were seungkwan’s.

no matter how hard it is to swallow, your only best friend, vernon, used you too.

you hate the universe for why must it be hard to live on earth. if you aren't allowed to feel loved then why must people hurt you? they could've just push you away, not stay for a short period of time just to leave you again. not pretend they accept you when in reality they are disgusted by you. why must everyone have to be so cruel?

©genezpen

all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, plagiarize, repost to another platform/sites without my permission. this is solely available on tumblr.

[space-id1ot]

Can I have a scenario with Toby with an artist s/o who got disqualified in a tournament because the judges thinking their work were "fake" or "store bought" even though it's not?

I could never come up with these good ideas😔❤ Slay Queen/king/monarch❤💀 (idfk that was cringey-) but On this request I'm going to try a new writing style and I'm trying to make Toby more canon so if you like it tell me ❤ if not I can always change it. I made reader have an attitude too so😭

Toby with an artist s/o who got disqualified in a tournament.

Warnings- Violence, Mentions of murder, cursing,

You had worked on this art piece for months waiting for the time the tournament finally came

You were excited as Toby doesn't like you going out at all especially alone, but he was letting you now. And he was letting you indulge in your hobbies.

Once you finally finished you were nervous but Toby assured you that your work was the best and it would win, and if not he would kill someone. But that may be an empty threat

Toby had dropped you off a mile away from where the tournament took place so he wasn't spotted by someone

You had to walk that whole mile as you weren't allowed to ride with someone and there were no bus stops near.

___________________________

"I'm sorry Y/N but if you can't show us proof that that's your work then we have no choice but to disqualify you." the Judge said giving you a look of sympathy that was obviously fake

"He's right, we don't know for sure if it's really yours. I'm sorry miss L/N but you need to leave."

"Fine! I don't wanna be in your fucking competition!" you raised your voice as you walked out the door.

___________________________

When Toby came back he saw you sitting down on the curb crying and first thing he thought was violence

Toby loves to see you cry or hurt but only when he hurts you if it's anyone else he's going to kill them.

He was going to ask you about what happened at the tournament but he definitely isn't now he'll have to ask later.

He brought you back to your shared cabin and asked you what was wrong

though Toby isn't the best with words and may or may not say stuff that will make you mad

___________________________

"Hey, w-what's wrong?" Toby asked as you sat down on the couch "If it's about the t-tournament then know that you don't always win." You looked up at him with rage in your eyes

"It's not about me fucking losing they disqualified me because they thought my painting was fake! I spent months on that painting only for them to disqualify me! It just makes me so fucking mad." you said clenching your teeth. Toby sighed as he got up making the couch shift.

"do you w-want something to drink?" He asked looking at you with an uncomfortable look.

"Sure," You said averting his gaze as you shifted around to get more comfortable, He walked back holding a beer and some water before sitting back on the couch. He threw the water bottle at you giving you a mean look,

"Tell me what happened." Toby said in a demanding tone as he opened up the pocketknife in his back pocket to open up the beer bottle.

"Nothing really I got there and showed them the painting only for them to say that it was fake and if I didn't have proof it was mine then they'd have to disqualify me."

___________________________

Toby's pissed. like you tell him that and he ready to kill.

askes you if he can kill them and if you say no he's going to do it anyway

like he's not even that mad at them because they disqualified you and jumped to conclusions because they thought they've seen the same art piece before he's mad because they mad you so mad that your about to take it out on him.

he's going to come back covered in blood with a bag of heads and he's going to get mad if you're not happy

Overall, he's pissed, your pissed. It's not a good mix so he goes around finds, and kills the judges and participants in the tournament.

He'll comfort you after killing them and tell you that they were just jealous and that you would've won either way though he may get blood on you and stink-

If you can tell I'm not that good with writing stories- thank you all for reading! I hope you have a good day/night!

this was slightly proof-read

[chirpingfromthebox]

A Case for Chaos

With team names and logos coming out today(?), I figure I should dust off this ol' draft of mine and beat the clock to submitting my pitch for PWHL Minnesota's team name.

Since I did one for New York I figure I am duty-bound to make a case for my own team as well.

This way if they pick something stupid, I will have solid proof that I could (and did) come up with a better idea.

And, dear readers, I will ride that small sense of superiority until the wheels fall off.

Part 1:

These Options Are Bad

Let's start by killing some of the other options I've heard floated around for all these months.

The Superior.

Everyone in the Twin Cities has a weird obsession with Lake Superior and I do get it: it's pretty amazing. And I too love the north shore. If I were to move out of the cities I would probably dip to Duluth.

But here's the thing: we are just one of the states and provinces bordering the lake. And we are not even close to being the one with the most area connected to it! So it's far from a distinctly Minnesotan thing. And it isn't even connected to the city they actually play in!

In spite of what happened the last time we named a sports team after lakes, I do love the idea of referencing lakes somehow. And yet I still think trying to claim Superior as our own is as silly as a team being called the Atlantic or something.

And if all that wasn't enough, the biggest reason against it is this: if you call yourself "The Superior" and you lose? You look like such an idiot.

"And with that loss the Superior will continue their seven game losing steak."

I mean, look at that. The jokes against you write themselves.

If you lose you sound ridiculous and if you win you sound pompous. It's a lose-lose situation.

The Valkyries.

Even if it's not intentional it seems way too much like an play on Minnesota's football team The Vikings.

As such: automatic disqualification.

The Reign.

I get it. Purple is a historically royal color. There's the whole Purple Rain play on words from Minnesota native Prince's 1984 movie/album/song. It's clever.

And more importantly it actually works with their prechosen color of purple, which is honestly a hard one to match.

I love wordplay too much to be mad if they went for it. But once again: the loftier your name is the more you sound like an idiot if you lose.

If you went on a losing streak someone on the playground call you the "reigning losers."

And that's just a wicked burn.

The Frost / The Freeze.

I've heard this one floated around since those teaser pictures dropped. But I stand firm that "The Minnesota Freeze" sounds like some sort of Midwest twist on a sno-cone.

It will not get me hyped, it will make just make me want a treat.

The Monarchs.

The Monarch butterfly is the state butterfly. The word can also mean royalty. Purple is a royal color. I see what they're doing here.

But Monarch butterflies are Orange.

Having that on a team with Purple jerseys would constantly give me psychic damage.

(listen, this is my post and I will disqualify things under whatever criteria I want, okay?)

The Grey Ducks.

Honestly? I can't say I don't like it. It's silly so no big league team would pick it. But I like silly things!

People not from around here probably don't get it, but for some reason or another Minnesota seems to be the only state that plays the child's game Duck, Duck, Grey Duck, while everyone else plays Duck, Duck, Goose.

You all already know what I'm going to say here though, right?

Grey is not Purple.

It's weird. It bugs me. And for that reason: No thank you.

Part 2:

Chaos Reigns

With some of the things I don't want out of that way, let's get to what I do want.

My choice for team name would be:

The Minnesota Chaos.

I love this one.

I think it's a strong word. It sounds really cool while also sounding fun. It's a primordial concept, something that was here since the beginning and will be here after the end.

And it's fitting.

Minnesota was all over the place this inaugural season (and post season). They truly could not be predicted. They traded their 2nd round draft pick mid-season. Despite only needing a single point to clench the playoffs they instead went on a massive losing streak at the end of the season, got in anyway, lose two more games, and then reverse sweep to make it into the playoffs? Friggin' wild stuff.

And the great thing about Chaos? It works if you're winning or losing. Chaos can be something strong and it can be something weak. So you sound great no matter how you're doing.

And you've already learned I'm weird about colors, so does purple work here as a color?

Yes!

Your tagline could be "Chaos Reigns" and cash in on that royalty angle. And purple is also often associated with mysticism and magic, and those things have a very chaotic vibe to them if you ask me.

And you know what? There's just a lot of weird fun you can have with chaos.

Part 3:

Getting Weird With It

I personally hate mascots, because costumed characters make me uneasy and I don't know how to interact with them. However, there's some fun you could have with this.

Like the mascot could have one name, but then have like 3 or 4 different mascot costumes and every home game roll a die to determine which mascot is used that day.

Heck, pick up as many different mascot costumes as you can find and use a different one every time. Mix and match pieces from different costumes.

Maybe a mascot from an entirely different team would show up instead? Who knows! But it would be weird good fun seeing who the mascot for the day was.

Look! T.C. Bear is here in a Chaos jersey. Why? Why not?!

Likewise I would sell some merch with the logo spot blank so people could sew in whatever random thing they wanted.

(They would never go for this though, because people hate extra work and the league would want to have a distinct identity to sell their product. But once again this is my post and I can dream whatever silly things I want!)

I doodled out some possible logo ideas, but I can't nail down one I love. But I like the idea of maybe doing some sort of riff on a butterfly symbol to have a chaos theory connection?

--------------

--------------

Anyways, I've got a million more ridiculous ideas for why this would be a fun idea and I could go on and on. But I'll save y'all from further silliness.

Thank you for sticking around for this silly post. And happy name day to us all. Hopefully we got some goods ones?

[demonologue]

Still in it, sis

Got to play for the first time in 4 days last night and...switched it up a bit. Left Miss Piss at camp for the first time because he was kind of hogging all the glory in the Gauntlet of Shar. And by hogging all the glory, I mean he was winning everything and we were pretty much losing. Not his fault. But still.

Also, I'm not gonna lie, his aloof mean girl shit is kind of starting to hurt my feelings for real. I was worried he'd be mad I left him behind, but he was like "neener, hate you bitches anyway", so. No big deal.

I brought out Gale, because I do feel bad leaving him at camp when he's all worried about his impending doom and all. It turned out better than I thought.

As soon as Gale joined, Lae'zel was asking him 101 questions and telling us things about how Githyanki are hatched. I was like "whoa, this woman never talked like this before." Everyone loves grandpa.

And Gale did better than I thought. He even helped us kill the orthon, which we had TPK'ed trying like 4 times before. Lucky charm.

After that, it just kind of turned into dad and grandpa taking the girls to the mall vibes. Super chill.

So...yeah. Astarion might just have to stay at camp for a bit. I trust Jaheira to keep him in line. Once we get out of major Shart plotline I may switch them, but. Honestly? If I have to choose between my angsty little girl and this shady fag, it's not much of a choice for me.

Gods, I hope he gets better once we start his plotline. He's just such a fucking bitch. And I respect that. But Jesus. It's not fun anymore. Maybe I'm just being thin-skinned lately, but. Ugh.

[afterthefeast]

was gonna wait til i finished act 2 before posting my nightsong thoughts but actually i want to get my first impressions out to see if they change but…currently i’m pretty disappointed by it because from an rp perspective i literally don’t see a single reason why the pc would let shadowheart kill the nightsong if they weren’t already allied with the absolute.

from a practical perspective your whole aim is to get rid of ketheric’s invulnerability - i guess killing the nightsong might achieve that purpose but to me at least the implication throughout the gauntlet is that if you kill the nightsong as part of the dark justiciar trial she doesn’t actually die. (never mind the fact that aylin seems far too important to both ketheric and shar for her to be sacrificed if an ordinary selûnite would do). obligatory disclaimer that i didn’t let shadowheart kill her so i don’t know what happens in that instance, but that doesn’t really matter in this case because i’m talking about how the choice is presented to you, and to me at least it did not seem like killing aylin would be in any way strategic.

in which case it’s not really a choice because a) practically you are strongly encouraged to let aylin go and b) morally your tav has to justify the murder of a defenceless woman for…what, shadowheart’s career goals? even if you’re romancing shadowheart (which i am) convincing her requires a straightforward persuasion check, the mechanics of which thus far have meant you convince her that your position is correct - there’s not much in the way of lasting relationship consequences in that she won’t get so mad at you she leaves the party because you’ve already convinced her you’re right.

all that is to say that i think this is reflective of bg3’s overall binary attitude towards its major choices - there’s a good route (save the grove, defend isobel, free aylin), and a bad route (destroy the grove, ally with marcus, kill aylin). a lot of those choices compound, as well - other people have talked from actual experience about how allying with minthara will lose you a huge amount of content and allies, thus railroading you into picking a side from both a narrative and gameplay perspective. you’ve a huge amount of freedom in how you go about achieving any of those things - stealth, persuasion, combat etc., but the objectives themselves are pretty static.

so when you then have a companion’s personal quest tied to intrinsically to the plot it negates a huge amount of player choice. thematically, the companion quests are binary because they can either break or perpetuate cycles of abuse - that’s an instance in which binary choices can be very compelling. but the thematic concerns of shadowheart’s very intricate and heartfelt personal quest are totally undercut by the necessities of a pretty straightforward choice. i can’t play a hands-off tav and let this be shadowheart’s decision without to all appearances letting ketheric win. this isn’t a truly grey choice like the decision to sacrifice isolde or go to the circle in dragon age origins. it feels like that’s what bg3 was trying to do here by combining shadowheart’s quest and the main narrative, but because that main narrative is actually relatively inflexible, it just means shadowheart’s quest suffers by comparison.

[burninblood]

A little rant about Captain America Cold War Alpha

mostly about Bucky, ofc, ‘couse you know, he is like that...

I’ve been ok with a lot of things Bucky has done through the Sentinel of Liberty run, I was ok with him shooting at Steve to kill the old Revolution, I was ok with his choice to join the circle to tear them down from the inside, I was ok with him doing the dirty work once again (not in the way I’d like to intend the sentence, LOL, but ok you get me, sorry for the stupid joke) and all because I could see where this all was coming from: he felt betrayed for yet another time in his life, discovering he was all along a pawn of something greater and more twisted than what he thought, he was lost and he wanted to act, no matter what. I even liked it to some extent, to see him trying and having agency for once, on his own.

But Cold War Alpha threw me off in a way.

I mean, Bucky may have his own moral compass, different from the one Steve and Sam look up to, he has endured some dark things and experimented the worst of mankind on his own skin, and these things are now part of who he is, no matter what, but in spite of all the bad he has never been a heartless, cold person. On the contrary. He may be a disillusioned man with still a tiny spark of hope in his heart that redemption is still possible, even coming to such a high cost (a cost he is ready to pay when it comes to HIMSELF).

But “torturing” Ian, he who was tortured for most of his life himself? Saying he won’t be happy when the Captains will be DEAD - well at least- but that he will be winning then??? Well, this is going a bit too far, tbh. I feel like the writers are now really pushing too much for shock value and they’re starting to lose grip on the character. Yes, there’s still the possibility this is all for a show off, all double agent criss cross shit, and probably this is how CW will end, but still, it felt really too much for me.

Also Peggy involvement is a bit too forced. She isn’t a saint for sure, but isn’t an evil person either. If I was in Steve, Sharon and Sam place I would think these people are just gone straigh insane, lol. I don’t know, it feels like the Outer Circle’s excuse is not strong enough to justify all this madness.

Maybe is just me, idk.

Btw Sam and Misty were the cutest.

Still hoping Natasha will beat some good sense into Bucky’s head next month. I’m more scared than ever at this time, but still...

I know this was supposed to be a short rant, LOL, but shortness? Never known her in my whole life, I assure you!

[stereax]

GOT AN IDEA

tell me whos gonna get the cup next year. like who would u say will get it. ik u cant say but who you do think it will be, lets make predictions

Hmmmmm. I did do a bit of an analysis on that a bit ago, but with Free Agency Frenzy almost fully in the rearview mirror, things have changed...

Here are my WAY too early predictions for the playoffs.

Metro -

1. Devils - Conference Leaders

2. Hurricanes

3. Rangers

4(WC2). Penguins

Atlantic -

1. Maple Leafs

2. Panthers

3. Bruins

4(WC1). Senators

Central -

1. Stars

2. Avalanche

3. Predators

4(WC1). Wild

Pacific -

1. Golden Knights - Conference Leaders

2. Oilers

3. Kraken

4(WC2). Kings

This would give us a bracket as follows:

Devils v Penguins

Hurricanes v Rangers

Maple Leafs v Senators

Panthers v Bruins

---

Stars v Wild

Avalanche v Predators

Golden Knights v Kings

Oilers v Kraken

My picks to win?

Devs v Pens - Devs. Even though I give the Pens a playoff berth (which they really could blow) because of some of the good short-term moves Dubas has made to solidify the team, I really doubt they can beat the Devils in a seven-game series. Devs v Pens games always have the aura of "our grandparents threw a party and we were the only ones that came". They're just too old to make a serious Cup run. And Jarry is more often injured than not.

Canes v Rags - Rags. The top three teams in the Metro last year have what could be described as a rock-paper-scissors relationship. Devils overpower Rangers through offense, Canes stifle that offense with good defense, Rangers goaltending blocks Canes volume shooting. Plus, Shesty's mad.

Leafs v Sens - Sens. That's a hot take, but let me justify it. Despite the Leafs breaking the curse this year, they have many glaring issues - most notably, they've gotten way worse over this offseason and are even more cap-strapped than usual. They can't really acquire at the trade deadline even if they want to. On the flipside, the Senators' main issue was goaltending. They got a good goalie in Koorpisalo. I do see this going six or seven, but I honestly believe the Sens can upset the Leafs.

Cats v Bruins - Cats. The Cats already beat the Bruins last year. Arguably better Cats versus clearly worse Bruins? Not even a contest.

Stars v Wild - Stars. The Wild can't seem to crack the first round and they're dealing with $14.7m in dead cap. Contrast with the Stars, who are able to make deep runs for the Cup and don't have $14.7m less to play with. Easy choice here.

Avs v Preds - Preds. The Preds made some really good moves in free agency, adding Ryan O'Reilly and Luke Schenn, among others. The Avs lost their captain for another year and coped by signing Miles Wood to a 6x2.5. Holy overpay. It's almost like they're trying not to contend.

Knights v Kings - Knights. The Kings are an aging husk of a team that managed to lose the PLD trade where Winnipeg was begging for anyone to take him. The Knights just won the Cup. How is this a contest?

Oilers v Kraken - Kraken. The Kraken have depth and have four solid lines of players. The Oilers shipped off Yamamoto and Kostin to the Red Wings for literal table scraps. Darnell Nurse is on one of The contracts in history. Campbell is massively underperforming. C'mon, further the tragedy of the Edmonton Oilers. I know you want to.

Round 2 becomes:

Devils v Rangers

Panthers v Senators

---

Stars v Predators

Knights v Kraken

Predictions:

Devs v Rags - Devs. Shesty probably gets a panic attack when he sees Timo's smiling face. The Devils have learned that the speed game is paramount for them (which is what they use to beat the Penguins as well) and they can track meet the Rangers seven days a week. This really becomes Devils Offense versus Shesterkin. I think the Devils win this one.

Cats v Sens - Cats. This one's gonna set some penalty minute records. The Tkachuks are going to kill each other and their teams' penalty kills. While the Sens upsetting the Cats would be ironic and further a Senators Cinderella Run, I think the Cats win here. I mean, one solid hit on Stützle and half the offense is gone.

Stars v Preds - Stars. The Predators have a Saros, the Stars have an Oettinger. What the Stars have is their top point scorer NOT being a defenseman. That's right - the Preds' top point scorer last year was a defenseman (Roman Josi). I put the Preds above the Avs because the Avs are seemingly trying to be bad now, but I can't put them above the Stars.

Knights v Kraken - Kraken. I just want to see a battle of the expansion teams in the playoffs. Giving the edge to the Kraken only because of Knights playoff fatigue, but it can go either way. Just make it happen, Bettman. That's all I want.

So the Conference Finals become:

Devils v Panthers

Stars v Kraken

My predictions here?

Devs v Cats - Cats. This one could REALLY go either way. I'm giving it to the Panthers because they're a more physical team that the Devils have historically struggled with. Expect this to go to six or seven if nobody's injured.

Stars v Kraken - Stars. I think the Stars beat the Kraken seven days a week. There's no real reason for this (maybe outside of Oetter>Grubi) but just a general vibe that the Stars are just the better team in that matchup.

So your Stanley Cup Final is:

Cats v Stars.

And my winner?

Stars. Anything can happen in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. This one can go either way (damn, I've said that before). I'm calling Stars in six or seven because I think they can be slightly more consistent over the Cats, who can be notorious for being hot and cold. Once again, injuries will play a big role here - if Robertson, for example, is out of commission, the scales tip drastically towards the Cats. If Benn is injured it might be better for the Stars...

[bylrlve]

i believe there is happiness in our history (we always walked a very thin line)*

The Last Time ft. Gary Lightbody - this is the last time i’m asking you this: put my name at the top of your list

exile ft. Bon Iver - never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind), couldn’t turn things around (never turned things around), you never gave a warning sign (i gave so many signs)

mad woman - every time you call me angry i get more angry

closure - i don’t need your closure

Better Man (Taylor’s Version) - i know the bravest thing i ever did was run

Should’ve Said No - you should’ve known that word of what you did with (him) would get back to me

Tell Me Why - and i know that you see what you’re doing to me; tell me why?

White Horse - this is a small town, it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - i remember when we broke up (the first time)

Cold As You - never been anywhere cold as you

When Love Breaks Down - the things we do to stop the truth from hurting you… the lies we tell, they only serve to fool ourselves

Back to December - how you held me in your arms that september night the first time you ever saw me cry

Labour - you make me do too much labour

Son of Nyx

All Too Well - i forget about you long enough to forget why i needed to

Who We Are - you only feel it when it’s lost

Another Love - i brought you daffodils on a pretty string, but they won’t flower like they did last spring… all my tears have been used up on another love

The Story of Us - now i’m standing alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking

Now That We Don’t Talk (Taylor’s Version) - remind myself: the more i gave, you’d want me less

I Knew You Were Trouble - and he’s long gone when he’s next to me

driver’s license - red lights, stop signs, i still see your face… guess you didn’t mean what you wrote in that song about me…

I’ Carrion (Icarian) - i feel lighter than i have in so much time

Say Don’t Go (Taylor’s Version) - should’ve known it from the very start - we’re a shot in the darkest dark

You’re Losing Me - you say ‘i don’t understand’ and i say ‘i know you don’t’… do we throw out everything we built or keep it?

Dynasty - all i gave you is gone, crumbled like it was stone

Rolling in the Deep - finally, i can see you crystal-clear

Happier - you look happier, you do

ballad of a homeschooled girl - talked to this hot guy, swore i was his type (guess he was making out with boys, like, the whole night), everything i do is tragic, every guy i like is gay

loml - you and i going from one kiss to getting married, still alive, killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried

hoax - my twisted knife, my sleepless night, my winless fight; this has frozen my ground

Set Fire to the Rain: but there’s a side to you that i never knew… the things you’d say, they were never true… and the games you’d play, you would always win… so i set fire to the rain (watched it fall as i touched your face)

stranger- ‘cause i was half-myself without you; now i feel so complete

imgonnagetyouback - even if it’s handcuffed, i’m leaving here with you

California Dreamin’ - if i didn’t tell her, i could leave today

right where you left me: friends break up, friends get married… i could feel the mascara run, you told me that you met someone, you left me (no choice but to stay here forever)

Last Kiss - all that i know is i don’t know how to be something you miss

So Long, London - you say that you loved me but where were the clues? i died on the altar waiting for the proof

Getaway Car - i wanted to leave (her), i needed a reason

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever - i’m sitting eyes wide open and i got one thing stuck in my mind, wondering if i dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life… i feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day, i gave you something, but you gave me nothing

Don’t You Want Me - you know, i don’t believe you when you say that you don’t need me

I Did Something Bad - i let (him) think (he) saved me; (he) never see(s) it coming, what i do next, this is how the world works: you gotta leave before you get left

Send My Love (To Your New Lover) - we’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts (we both know we ain’t kids no more)

champagne problems- i couldn’t give a reason… how evergreen our group of friends, don’t think we’ll say that word again… one for the money, two for the show, i never was ready so i watch you go (sometimes you just don’t know the answer ‘til someone’s on their knees and asks you)… “what a shame (he’s) fucked in the head”, but you’ll find the real thing instead, she’ll patch up your tapestry that i shred

Cold as Ice - you’re willing to sacrifice our love

Bejewelled - when i meet the band, they ask ‘do you have a man?’ i can still say ‘i don’t remember’

tolerate it - what if i break free and leave us in ruins? took this dagger in me and removed it? gain the weight of you then lose it? believe me, i could do it

When We Were Young - my god, this reminds me of when we were young

Impossible - and now, when all is done, there is nothing to say

Rumour Has It - rumour has it, he’s the one i’m leaving you for

In The Air Tonight - well, i was there and i saw what you did, i saw it with my own two eyes, so you can wipe off that grin, i know where you've been, it's all been a pack of lies

my tears ricochet - and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want (just not home), and you can aim for my heart, go for blood

High Infidelity - storm comin’, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle, at the house lonely, good money, i’d pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time… do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

Fresh Out The Slammer - fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to, another summer, takin’ cover, rollin’ thunder, (s)he don’t understand me

Hold Me While You Wait - i’m missing my same old us before we learned our truth too late… i wish that i was good enough

it’s time to go: that moment again, he’s insisting again that friends look at each other like that… trying to stay for the kids when keeping it how it us will only break their hearts worse… sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing… the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul, you know when it’s time to go, i gave him my all, he gave me nothing at all (then wondered why i left)

King - we argue in the kitchen about whether to have children, the world ending, and the scale of my ambition

No Light, No Light - a revelation in the light of day, you can’t choose what fades and what stays away, and i’d do anything to make you stay… you want a revelation, you wanna get right, but that’s a conversation i just can’t have tonight

Unknown/Nth - funny how true colours shine in darkness and in secrecy… do you know i could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, i still carry for ya? that i’d walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing ya?… there are some people, love, who are better unknown

Daylight (Slowed + Reverb) - oh, i love it and i hate it at the same time; you and i drink the poison from the same vine

evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - oh, can we just get a pause, to be certain that we’ll be tall again… it was real enough to get me through, and i swear you were there (… and i couldn’t be sure, i had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn’t be for evermore)

Rolling in the Deep - there’s a fire starting in my heart… finally, i can see you crystal clear… the scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking that we almost had it all… gonna wish you never had met me (the scars of your love, they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling that we could’ve had it all)

Someone You Loved - i let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug

Someone Like You - you know how the time flies; only yesterday was the time of our lives

First Time - some part of me must have died the final time you called me baby… but some part of me came alive the final time you called me baby

All Things End - last time i felt your weight on my chest, you said ‘we didn’t get it right but, love: we did our best, and we will again’

the 1 - but we were something, don’t you think so?

Smalltown Boy - the love that you need will never be found at home

happiness - no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you (and you know you hurt him, too)… across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise

Abstract (Psychopomp) - the memory hurts, but does me no harm (your hand in my pocket to keep us both warm)… i remember the view, street lights in the dark blue, the moment i knew: i’d no choice but to love you

First Light: you wake, turning, shoot a silver bullet point blank range… the colour erupts, you filling my cup, the sun coming up, like i lived my whole life before the first light (…after this i’m never gonna be the same, and i am never going back, again)

* (Aka the m*leven failmarriage/ s5 acrimonious breakup playlist)

[lunarsilkscreen]

Why Does the Joker know so much?

You can hear it in his words. The Joker knows too much about Gotham. Way too much. He knew the bank he was robbing was mafia owned, he knew all the goons he hired for that job were ready and willing to kill each other for a bigger pot, and willing to keep a secret from each other.

He seemingly has his hands in everything. When the Mob holds an emergency meeting at an undisclosed place? Who is there, waiting?

The Joker.

He was able to setup and execute his "magic trick". Specifically because he knew how each of them would react in that situation. He stole one of the boss's purple suit. "You oughta know, you bought it."

Or maybe, he purchased it with *his* credit card?

"I'm not crazy. No. I'm. Not." In response to one of the mob boss's accusation. He's saying here: "I know your game, you know I know your game, and one way or another, you're going to contact me when I make it out of here alive. Or. Or. Or: we all die together."

That's what he's saying between his last exchange with the bosses and when he shows his hand (of grenades).

At every step of the way, Joker knows what's going to happen and how things will play out. Like somebody playing pool. And unlike somebody playing chess, he's not looking at what moves to make to win in the future. He's looking at how to set-up the table for his opponent's next shot.

He knows about the inner workings of Wayne Enterprises, even gets to some of his employees. Like the one he directs to the bat-tank. He even correctly guessed that Batman would extradite a foreign national. And, how to return the cash the national absconded with back to the mob, securing his "half." Before he burns it.

"gas and gunpowder are cheap" but "money isn't"

He's never guiding anybody's madness. No he has excellent bedside manner. In the case of Harvey Dent, he looks at the scarred half of his face that he's now afraid to show the world, mostly because they purposefully avoid looking at it. Or stare at it too much.

Not the Joker, oh no. He treats both halves of Dent's face as part of the *same* *lovable* Harvey. He looks on both sides of his face with the same Intention, so that Harvey Dent would trust him. Not pity, not fear, not loathing. The same "yea that's a face I'm looking at." Never talking down to him (on either side, unlike what other theorists would have you believe.)

I don't think he even rigged the "person" bomb. I don't think that was Joker's*direct* handy work at all. I think it was his "friend" at Arkham: Dr. Strange. (Not the wizard Dr. Strange. The doctor. The doctor who isn't a Wizard.)

I think he was the boss. Although... "Replacing the voices with pretty lights" *sounds* like something the Joker would say. But not *this* Joker. That's not his style. He always offers a choice, and doesn't take away people's right to choose.

I think Dr. Strange, or some other Boss, promised the Joker an "Escape Plan" and all he had to do was make a phone call. I don't think he actually knew that it was a fellow inmate in that jail.

Otherwise, he'd have given him the option. Now, I know what you're thinking--he already gave him the option. He just delayed it. And again, I'm telling you: This Joker, Heath Leger's Joker, well that's just not his style.

This one is of course the agent of Chaos, not planning. He sets up shots for others to take, and not himself. (It sounds like I'm contradicting myself here. But I'm not.)

At every turn, giving others the option of killing him. Is he showing weakness or his belly like a puppy dog? Or is he *really* asking them to kill him?

The Joker can fight on the same level as Batman. And without the same armor and technical advantage that Batman has, he nearly loses to a Joker with a pipe, and no armor, no plot armor, and no money.

And the only reason he didn't lose, is because Joker wanted to die. Relishing being flipped into the air as the sweet embrace of death is ripped from his grasp by none other than Batman himself.

Who knows full well, that the Joker won't stop. He'll keep setting up the dominos for others to knock down.

[mdccanon]

A Song of Ice and Fire is officially the most boring fantasy deconstruction I know.

He started this by asking, "Sure, Aragorn can defeat an evil army, but what is his tax policy?"

But the actual story is "What if Aragorn wanted to be king, but absolutely refused to produce legitimate heirs?"

Then he'd be an idiot that should be killed. Next question?

There is nothing interesting or compelling about the Baratheon and Velaryon succession crises. Hell, there is nothing interesting about that one dude and him kidnapping Lady Stark.

It is lackluster deconstructing fantasy tropes at best if the characters are only capable of making self-destructive choices and the entire plot is just them begrudgingly living their feudal lived, resenting every aspect of it. "Here, let me do the one thing that will get me killed and then spend the rest of my life complaining that life is so unfair. It's really commentary on society, if you think about it, if me acting purely in self-interest earns me so many consequences."

And then when fans just lose all patience with the characters, blame it all on them being half-mad from a prophecy they heard.

I originally praised Jaime, Ned, and Cersei as being well-written examples of the original premise and trying to live up to a fantasy archetype ideal in a world that punishes them for it. I accepted the Baratheon crisis out of solidarity to how it colored Cersei's dilemma. But then her storyline just becomes "she's jealous of younger women because of a prophecy." LOL, wut? Did she kill her friend back then, too?

None of these characters have ideas. None of these characters have vision. They just have butt-hurt feelings and sword skills. "Well, you see, Cersei is just so hateful that---" if she is so hateful, then how badly am I supposed to feel for her in the original dilemma that you put her in where the more she attempted to be a dutiful wife and aren't you typical grateful princess, the more she was punished for it? If you make Princess Peach a villain not because of what she went through but because you say that she was a bitch all along, what makes her dilemma of her children being illegitimate so compelling?

See what you did there? By being too edgy? By going too grimdark? Robert, Cersei, Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen. You give the three assholes the most story and the the two sweethearts are plot devices at best, to be killed for shock value, but you still want me to care on an intellectual, conceptual level that it's unfair for a woman to be pushed into this position in the first place by being the prize for a man winning a war.

But I don't care. Not even because Cersei is not a protofeminist who helps her in-laws, even though women helping women is rarely a plot point and it would have been interesting to see that happen -- not even simply because she's a bitch -- but because Martin took a caper story, a criminal fights to escape punishment for her crime, and stretched it across 5 books. And when the caper won, her story didn't end, even though according to Martin's own grimdark rules, she wasn't allowed to LEARN from her experiences and therefore couldn't add anything new to the story. Just... Continue to be a right bitch. Because Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen only existed to be plot devices in her story. No reason to let stories end so that this saga can finally reach a conclusion.

And now we have a new show about some chick who is supposed to be both a Rebel Princess but also legitimately want the throne, and I'm supposed to care that she spends 5 years resenting getting married while also believing her pussy produces Chosen Ones? And you want to try to buy my sympathy by implying that she's afraid of childbirth, but this story is about drama and bullshit and it's never going to be about addressing trauma, so when she finally does choose a husband you do a 10 year time skip to when she's already overcome her fear of childbirth. So how long do you think that I'm supposed to care about this person who has the nerve to complain that everyone thinks poorly of her for the minor crime of cheating on her husband when she wanted to be in the spotlight and does not understand that her unwillingness to play The game of thrones has put her in a position where literally no one trusts her motivations?

"B-b-but the inherent sexism in her children being considered illegitimate for the throne despite her parentage being irrefutable!"

Yes, let me cry a single crystal tear for this privileged imperialist who is being punished for violating laws she had no reason to violate, because of the conceptual unfairness of it all. That men would make laws to even the playing field of the biological control women have. In a matriarchal society, this woman passing someone else's grandchildren off as her mother-in-law's would still be a horrible crime.

But lemme feel bad because the technicality and context of the moment makes her actions -- well, still exactly as bad -- but as a woman, I should feel for her because her violations of trust are being presented through male fear of female selfishness...

Let me go find something actually interesting...

[salty-and-weary]

Fuck i hate playing bot with a buring passion.

I either get an amazing support that usefull or the worthless supp that abandons lane in the first 5 mins and goes and feeds the other lanes insted and then gets all toxic about it. Theres no inbetween.

So what do i do when the Support abandons lane? It becomes a free lane for the enemys. I no longer care about winning or even really trying, ill stand under turret and try to kill the minons but if they dive im out. All i want now is to either ff and move on to the next game or one of you snowballs so hard they ff.

I dont do that 1 v 2 shit. Dont be mad at me for your choice of leaving me alone in bot and then being suprised i lost.

And if you get toxic ill take it up to a full 100% and put your toxicity to shame and laugh the whole time at how pathetic you are being in a fucking videogame.

Rank means nothing. You will never be or play in leuages esports. And if by some fucked up pin of fate you do, you will awalys lose, eveyone on your team will secretly hate you and your team will be knowen as the worst most toxic team to exist.

Attack me please, prove my point. Make me laugh.

[onewomancitadel]

How do you see the confrontation between Jaune & Cinder playing out? I still maintain that there should be a fight just because it's climactic/dramatic but it wouldn't really be the resolution to their conflict. The way I see it Jaune would be mostly just defending himself against a rampaging Cinder not really trying to win against her. Maybe even trying to save her if the Grimm arm gets too out of control. [1/2]

I think on some level it might be necessary because I beleive that Cinder's view of strength needs to be destroyed. And having Cinder despite all her strength still fail to kill someone weaker than her while also having her lose control of the Grimm would be the most blatant way of showing her it's not helping. She'd essentially be the most powerful she's ever been while also being the most helpless she's ever been. [2/2]

Confrontation between Jaune and Cinder when? Where are we narratively moored? I think it's very necessary to establish this in a more concrete framework than just discussing abstract events.

The question is whether Ruby purifying Cinder with her silver eyes is something that can conceivably happen soon, and whether that happens between now and the Relic of Choice - which is my only definable boundary for a given Jaune/Cinder interaction - or whether that happens afterwards (I lean towards this interpretation). It depends whether the Jaune/Cinder relationship is developed in V10 at all to set this up or not (particularly as a mirror to V5).

Why is Cinder trying to specifically fight him? The key set-up here would have to be as a consequence of Jaune outsmarting her with Penny - she never would've expected that move from him. Her opportunity for accumulating more of the Maiden power (a categorically bad thing) was denied - like his own self-sacrifice was denied by her - which should make her angry, but is also key to her development. I don't know if they'll go this way, but there was some implication of targetted anger when she went after him (and Weiss) in the V8 sequence post-Penny. So this is in a sense a reversal of Pyrrha, actually. Of course what Cinder can't recognise is that she is already the Fall Maiden, and the application of it in the wrong direction is, well, what's wrong, and so is similarly trying to accrue powers she doesn't need.

I don't think it's physical brute power that's her problem, per se, it's the way in which it's used as a ten-foot pole of safety for her and as a means to control and hurt the people around her before they can her. The Fall Maiden power is meant to be a gift; it is ironically key to her redemption.

The mirror of Penny and Pyrrha being picked up this way would be very tantalising to me - and once again specifically ties Jaune and Cinder together. The pain and anger is sort of ironically leading them in the right direction. It would also be very yummy to get a reprisal of this

yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE I'M SO ANGRYYY who are you again!!! But it has literally been twenty-thirty years for him so he really is trying to remember her!!!!! Oh I need her to be so mad at him now, I really really need it, and then I need him to answer her anger in the same way she did for him, which is deny his heedless silly self-sacrifice and awaken his Semblance 🥰 which yeah, would effectively be denying her desire to seek the other Maiden powers, not recognising what's already in front of her, challenge her worldview, the Dark Curse, and so on and so forth.

Similar to that, if you're talking about vulnerability as a superpower - on his back Jaune is stronger than Cinder in the Haven sequence. So a moment of vulnerability where he doesn't hurt her has the potential to be a mirror but also a moment of deep emotional resonance... because surely, he'd take the chance to hurt her?

If that doesn't quite answer your question, sorry, but at the very least I think the one other guaranteed point of speculation outside the Relic of Choice is now a potential mirror of V5 - since V9 mirrored V4 (and V7/8 mirrored V1-3). Sooooo

[wilsons-journey]

🎼 Valefor - Music Prompts🎼

Music Prompts Template --- (All Songs link to Youtube!)

... THEIR BACKSTORY? The old witch sleep and the good man grace - The amazing devil

... THEIR PERSONALITY? Jekyll and Hyde - Adam Jensen Villain - MISSIO

... THEIR ANGST? Hurt - Johnny Cash Mad World - Palaya Royala

... THEIR COMFORT? Here’s a Health to the Company - The Longest Johns

... THEIR LOVE LIFE? Sea meets earth - Fever Fever

... A FIGHT SCENE? Warrior - Disturbed

---

Some Lore / explanation below the cut:

Their Backstory: “I'm all yours, but you're all mine Let's dance together, you and I 'Cause I'm not trapped with you, you see You're the one who's trapped with me

'Cause I've been here so many times before Don't you think I look pretty Curled up on this bathroom floor? But where you see weakness I see wit Sometimes I fall to pieces Just to see what bits of me don't fit”

When you face death so many times, you start to embrace it - challange it. And sometimes even yearn for it.

Valefor has faced many close calls in his life. But still he seemed to stubborn just to die. But it shaped him and left it’s scars.

---

Their Personality “Am I a villain or a saint? Let me lead the way Resting bitch face on the move, fuck you have to say? I know I am tough as a stone I've lived a lot of life that not a lot will understand The type of life that gives you scars before you take command I know I am tough as a stone“ - MISSIO, Villain

Sometimes you have do to things, no one will understand and make you seem as someone evil. But what is evil and good in the eyes of others?

Valefor is a person of grey. He neither sees himself as good or evil. But he understands how people see his actions.

The whole “Jekyl and Hyde” just describes Valefors two very differend sides.The joyful Vagabund and the merciless Assassion.

---

Their Angst “And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad That dreams in which I'm dying, are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take When people run in circles it's a very very mad world, mad world“

Sometimes you just want to close your eyes and rest in peace. But it’s a mad world, we must keep going. Nothing will change if we give up. But sometimes,... sometimes the world just weights to heavy.

As I mentioned in a little Comic, Valefor works for someone who he can’t escape. He hates it, but he has no choice. The only escape is death. And so Valefor someday decided, if he just had enough of everything he will take Israfil with him - killing them both. But the moment Valefor met Kying and lost his heart to this old warrior,... this plan changed. Now he will get free alive.

Their comfort “Our ship lies at anchor, she's ready to dock I wish her safe landing, without any shock If ever I should meet you by land or by sea I will always remember your kindness to me“

We have to say many goodbye’s in our lives. But the memories and the kindness - that I will cherish forever and never forget.

Their love life “And I could feel the breaking of my cold stone heart was about to begin The moment that we, locked eyes Now everywhere you go my eyes follow close I'm just waitin' for the time to be right To tell you how I've loved you for a while“

Love is a dangerous game. It gives a lot,... makes you strong. But it can break you. It can break you a lot,...

Well,... he never thought he would feel love again. But he is quite afraid of that. Because if Kying ever would betray him, that for sure would break Valefor once and for all.

Fight Scene “Come on bring it, don't sing it, better believe it Broken down till your hope has died Beat down till victory's mine Stand up and show me some pride And now are you ready?”

Valefor never grew up in a traditional Fahrar. With some other Charr he was solely raised to fight and serve. Far far away from home.

So this song could be a view into his head or what he got taught. > You are a Warrior. You have to fight until you win. Losing is no option.

And thats was Valefor does - fight. In every aspect of his life. Be it against real people or just his own inner demons.

[gloriousmonsters]

honestly re ‘reading’ tgcf (jamie reading choice parts aloud in sequence as we both make commentary) has just convinced me further of my ‘he xuan’s revenge was kind of thrown together at the last minute’ theory (which i will be taking no criticisms on i’m not tagging this i just had the urge to write out my semiserious thoughts in a post. we good? okay)

because like. taking sqx to his tourist trap hometown to look at a cool spookyday parade that tells his backstory is inspired!

(it got a bit ruined by fucking xie lian who is now always around for some reason (seriously xl is ALWAYS showing up again during the black water arc and i honestly don’t blame hx for bopping him once. hua cheng you shouldn’t have punched him into the ground for that he DESERVED that one) but ANYWAY)

and then we go to the pavilion where sqx ascended. nice, nice. and tell him the truth...... uh........ somehow..... look, I’ll trust it was cool and effective due to how it wound up with sqx screaming in horror and all. sexy, inspired. and shi wudu’s locked him up! I fully believe that he xuan’s plan at this point looked something like

rescue sqx like a total badass, take him to nice quiet honeymoon cottage in the place none of the three tumors will go, maybe leave him there while you go kill shi wudu? like, SURELY he’ll get over it at this point. maybe even

if things seem good reveal yourself and then hold hands with sqx and maybe kill shi wudu TOGETHER?? but let’s not aim too high this is a stretch goal

but like, clearly he hates his brother now! this is fantastic! everything’s gonna go great revenge is awesome

but Then. sqx goes! to help! his shitty brother again! COMPLETELY DERAILING phase 2. you rented that honeymoon cottage for nothing. fuck this

but fine. okay. you can pivot. you can change up the plan you spent like 10 years coming up with. yes it wasn’t a very detailed plan but like, you have a lot going on. spying and sinking ships, etc, and sometimes you forget you actually have to decide on what you want to do for revenge, but WHATEVER. you drag everyone into your turf (surf?). you split up the group. you have a palace with shi qingxuan’s name on it and a prison with shi wudu’s. yes shi qingxuan has to have a brief time out in the jail first but that’s what you get for siding with shi wudu and insulting your shovel. anyway! draw up the distance shortening array, drop shi qingxuan in a nice palace room, now you can go hunt shi wudu for sport.

shi qingxuan leaves the room. you forgot he can do that

well you know, maybe you should figure out something else to do with him! you’re still very pissed that he sided with his horrible no-good brother, after all. of course you’d still rather stab yourself than so much as scratch him but it’s whatever.

shi wudu somehow figured out you’re sketch?

shi qingxuan is standing with his brother again and acting REALLY weird in general

you are having a very bad mental health day at this point

...you know what, fuck this, let’s ALL go to the cave where i’ve currently stashed my family’s urns, it’s as good a showdown place as any!

grab some of those haunted house actors you hired and tell them to babble and scamper and caress shi qingxuan a little bit but nothing below the belt or you Will kill them

(the ~crazy gross people~ hordes are deeply unfortunate and i will mentally rewrite them as i choose ok)

now you can at least force Shi Wudu to bow and apologize but honestly you’re not having that much fun at this point

Listen: the ‘ooh swap your brother’s fate with one of my curated weirdos’ thing makes WAY more sense to me if you assume... it was never something he xuan intended to happen. like, seriously, the process was something shi wudu did from heaven, quite probably with Ling Wen’s assistance. how’s he xuan gonna make him go through with it if he lets him go enough to do it in the first place? (for my sanity i assume that if sw wasn’t having his own mental breakdown he’d also have been like ‘wait’). but the thing is! he xuan does not want that to happen! i fully believe he’s lying through his teeth with both options, because he demonstrably wanted shi qingxuan to side with him (’I gave you chances!’) so like. here’s what the options actually are

shi wudu (bastard; incapable of finer feeling) shows his true evil colors and condemns his brother to have a horrible fate! by agreeing to swap his brother’s fate when his life was threatened, he’s shown that he clearly didn’t do it for sqx’s sake in the first place. sqx is shocked, realizes his brother is Evil, he and hx hold hands??? maybe we can get some use out of that honeymoon cottage after all

yeah we don’t think this one will work but it’d be nice to see sqx kill sw. sigh. obviously we’re not going to leave him alone afterward, though, it’s his first murder, he’ll be vulnerable and in need of comfort!

ALSO ACCEPTABLE: sqx goes ‘pls he-xiong spare my brother and i’ll do anything to pay for his crimes 🥺🥺 ANYTHING’ and then you can break out the villainous but oddly compelling offer of marriage

but instead the shi brothers just start CRYING all over each other and acting like they actually care about each other?? (with sqx specifically saying that only they care for each other and nobody else cares for either of them? OUCH) and despite ample opportunities sqx is barely trying to appeal to your relationship (you’re best friends! you even admitted it as the ~Reverend~ in that restaurant oh wait shit did you curse yourself a little bit) and not coming up with Any tearful but attractive offers of atonement. come the FUCK on

then shi wudu snaps and things kind of go to hell

yes this revenge is not very satisfying at this point but fuck him for pointing that out

and after hx gets mad enough to rip off sw’s head, we have... just a super awkward, not-a-bang-but-a-whimper finish. he takes sqx somewhere offscreen, and eventually dumps him half-heartedly in a big city to be a beggar or whatever

and genuinely I think a lot of the weird gaps and awkward joins and weak finishes of certain plots in this book are, doylistically, just... the product of tgcf being a WAY huger and more ambitious book than even mdzs, there’s bound to be more flaws, but watsonianly. hx’s plan for revenge, at the time he kicked it off, didn’t include sqx, up until the end he’s still giving sqx (confusing, unadvertised) chances to earn his mercy, and i think him dumping sqx and staying at an awkward distance from him afterward has less to do with revenge and vaguely promising he’d leave sqx alone if certain conditions were filled and more to do with him just not knowing what to do at that point.

he doesn’t want to hurt sqx (much) but after losing his temper and ripping off sw’s head in front of him sqx was just going limp, if he xuan kept him was he just going to keep being suicidal on him? can’t kill him can’t keep him prisoner don’t want to directly hurt him but you’re still mad at him ok i guess drop him in a homeless camp and stalk him from afar for a while. write an AITA post on reddit and then delete it. shi wudu died laughing and the cute one you wanted to keep and maybe learn to call you your actual name is severely depressed and terrified of you now. revenge sucks