#'i didnt run away this time right?'
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I still can't believe they did that to blorbo from my show :(
#'i didnt run away this time right?'#*grabs his shoulders and shakes him violently* THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE#im glad so many writers on here and ao3 are giving him the life he deserved#eddie munson#tw death
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me n who ?!?!?!? ME N WHO GUYS ...
picrews: 1 2 3 4
mking silly girlfailure picrews are the only thing saving my sanity which took quite a number of blows today ( its hanging on by the measliest thread but i think its better to consider it go n e )
anyways i wanna make a silly tag game so we are going to make a silly tag game because in the wise words of martin luther king i think wait it was probably gandhi "be the change you wish to see in the world" arent i so cool guys im taking like the first step forward and :stareyes: ahahah
(no pressure) tags !! 🏷️ : @cienxpidity, @ilyuu, @anonbinaryweirdo, @suntoru, @tuesdayberries, @lume-nosity, @mrcrazyvillainvillainn, @ceneid, @amalythea, @xianyoon, @aeon-yao, @ryuryuryuyurboat, @auroratumbles, @snobwaffles, @the-white-void + everyone i probably forgot to tag (SPS IM SORRY) n anyone else whod like to join !!
#💬 ⌗ 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 . . . ✧#i was in a very silly mood ( mental breakdown ish ) i cried like 16 times in the past hour and that's probably not a good thing but HEY#its fine#im so fine#im so#im so...#*perishes*#begone negativity#its time for me and my delusions#speaking of delusions i actually had the WILDEST Dream last night#and its so crazy because its like the first dream I've had in the past year that's not about a fictional character#yes im pathtetic#carrying on#and i was like escaping from t h e. m a. n i n t he. h a l l w a y#and i was like runnning away yk and then shrek comes over and helps me out by defenestrating me and so i land in some bushes and then start#like putting candy into a bag??? and im like HURRY UP SHREK HES GONNA COME AFTER US#and then i got to this like cult area#where it splits into two paths and i remember it so vividly because there was this gate security and i had to type in my student id to get#and so it opens up to this room and there's two pathways#the one to the right has this giant ass shrine golden statue surrounded by a bunch of children#and the one i go to has little cube spaces caved into the walls for like little decorations and a stair for like a lower other half of the#room#and theres a bunch of children and my irls#and so we break outta there yk#we escape#we get out#and we run into like osme shopping place#and my friend is planning to abandon me with her other friend and they're running away to china#but they refuse to take me with them (ultimate betrayal)#HELP edit but the tags didnt show up cause there were too many...
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..
#and i feel like im going insane trying ti map out the full extent of the transmisogyny of it all#when i tried to help him with the frustrations he was having with his friend and defended the friend even slightly#he accused me of talking like the friend was my actual boyfriend and told me to go run away with him#when he broke a fuck ton of glass in our bathroom his clean up was even more half assed than usual cause of the state he was in#so even as he apologized to me and called his behaviour abuse and used all the right words#it was still me cleaning up after his abuse literally with a broom and mop#i still freak out at rhe very idea of broken glass and i know that trigger isnt going away anytime soon#and i still didnt leave after that#then him and his friend took so many of my words out of context to essentially accuse me of emotional cheating with people on here#and i cant think about that conversation without thinking about how yall on here have talked about abusers using cheating accusations#and when we finally broke uo he couldnt help but keep giving me permission for things#permission to throw something of his in a lake#permission to let my friends talk shit and be mean#but then when i had something mean to say afterwards and he saw it by checking my blog#he punished me for it by doing everything he could tk scare thr shit out of me#cause even as we were broken uo he hadnt given me permission to talk shit#only to listen to my friends#and even after all that him and his friend still expected that i would share my car and weed for them to use#and i still did with the car cause im either wonderful for dumb as hell#probably both#then after all that his friend cut me off as a friend using the fact that i had asked him why he was refusing to even look at me and if we#were cool to say i was demanding and pushing him and not respecting his boundaries#he used me asking why i was being treated as a pariah to justify treating me as a pariah#after all i had refused to still be a punching bag#i stopped buying him weed#so it was time for me to be disposed of#and even as they disposed of me they still expected me to live in that house for another fucking month with them#i was used and disposed of by two of the people i was closest with#one of whom i would have married eventually if he hadnt pushed it over the edge
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another day another taco bell drive thru murder-suicide
#two nickels#actually the other one was aggravated assault and the guy survived. still#anyway this time i was in the walmart next door. oblivious#what the hell is it about taco bell that just attracts violence when im nearby. is it me#(cause of death not yet determined btw. but the last one a guy beat another guy unconscious like RIGHT before i got there#turned right the fuck around and went home. i also once almost got run over by a man asleep at the wheel of his pickup truck#at a. you guessed it. taco bell drive thru)#anyway sorry im not trying to make light of someone's literal death like thats horrifying. its just WHY IS IT ALWAYS TACO BELL?#(dont worry btw i didnt just like leave the unconscious man there like the cops were on their way and there were lots of people on the scen#already so. like. i JUST want to make it clear i did not see an unconscious man and drive away)#mia.txt#IM SORRY AGAIN IM NOT TRYING TO LIKE MAKE JOKES ABT SOMEONE'S DEATH IM JUST IN SHOCK#update: it was road rage :( a woman cut a guy off at the drive thru so he fucking shot her. what the hell is going on anymore i hate it here
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Im watching Only Friends and We Are like back to back and. Wildly different college friend groups
Imagine ur in Peems friend group (ur like Toey or someone) and u go to the Yolo bar, and run into Boston and Top and Ray and u watch that fucking speech Ray gives absolutely roasting the fuck out of his friend's relationships and u make a mental note 'do not Ever bring my lover to this bar'
Dhdhhf
Like I love both shows. And I think theyre both somewhat true to life just like, very different viewpoints as theyre true to life. And depicting very different people (with some overlap). And of course, We Are is going for low stakes comfort slice of life genre, while Only Friends is going for dense analysis of friends in the hookup scene.
#only friends the series#we are the series#lb#idk what the overlap of ppl is that enjoy BOTH shows. but it includes me <3 i love them both a lot#like. only friends? to be real here#id say the American college or dating experience? at least for my age group?#it was Very relatable to only friends. not THAT messy. but. i was definitely Ray at times#(crush on friend. the rebound the friend dates) and Mew (and i still am kind of mew...#im demi and i just dont do hookups theyre boring as fuck and i cant get turned on unless im in love)#and ive definitely met people like Sand and dated ppl like Sand and to an extent been hurt so bad i dont believe ppl will#love me back (like Sand)#and ive had friends like Boston (although the friends didnt lie or like destroy friendships) and dated ppl like Boston#hell i even unfortunately dated some ppl like Nick who were like THAT messy and i had to Run asap#but like. Only Friends is very raw and Real about those real romance hangups existing for a LOT of real people.#meanwhile We Are? also relatable. the slow pace and low stakes? honestly also many relationships go that way#while ive been Ray crushing on a friend. ive also developed those crushes just as slow as Q and Toey leaving messages and interacting#or Peem and Phum on odd terms tjen seeing each other more and clicking and not doing anything right away#and my luckier friends have been like Tan: honest and upfront and adoring and with a person they like rather fast#i think the 2 shows are like the spectrum of experience with dating AND friends involved#and its enjoyable to see all sides of that spectrum (for me)
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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needless to say i am NOT wynning
#for refrence my skin is always looking to the left (right when looking right at him)#my first online game in a VERRRRYYYYYY long time#im having fun#also he doesnt have to sweat drip but maybe on my next go 'round on my skin ill add it#wynncraft#I GUESS#sona#my sonas coat is now this other thing because i really like how i did the sleeves#and stuff so i didnt wanna cover too much....#boltslinger archer lvl 31 btw i wanted to be a sharpshooter but my style of play is definitely NOT geared towards that#if theres an option i tend to play ranged <- scared#but then i get cocky and start trying to get in peoples business before getting scared and running away again#this is probably the effect of playing so much kid icarus uprising all those years ago#maybe ill color....#ALSO the cut off is of my sona groveling because i think im the onlt minecraft player to grovel regularly in game#well kinda it doesnt look it but i imagine it as my sona on his knees almost praying but its like that one OooOOOoohHHhHhhh emoji image#and then down with luvs hands on the ground#and then up again!!!! idk what else to call it other than groveling#or mourning my lost soul points#okay ill shut up now#if any mutuals wynn or are interested..... hit me up ive been playing a lotta games recently and not doing a lot of literally anything else#but i think it would be fun to play... you just need minecraft and thats it skdbdkdhd its all vanilla too so dont worry 'bout mods#ALSO if i ever dont play with you or anything dont be mad.... sometimes i just am A. Scared or B. tired or C. just wanna be left alone lol#i always feel bad for not playing with people on online its a huge reason i avoided it for years (outside of my ither anxieties)#okay NOOOWWWW ill shut up#wait no i just wanna say i like how i did the bow tip for arrow bomb i think it looks cool#i also wanna say that i put MOST my points in defense so i made the undercoat spiky to reflect that#if i was more agility based it would be wispier dexterity would be more lightning-esque#you get the idea :-)#also i am very much wynning just not WINNING haha pun
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its always me with the spiders too its so bad :( i opened the car mirror (yknow at the top of the... fromt seat...) and a sleeping wasp FELL ON ME and i thought it was some crazy yellow spider freak AND IT STARTED CRAWLING TOWARDS MY CROTCH AND UNDER MY ASS AND I SCREAMED SO LOUDLY AND I JUMPED OUT OF THE CAR AND TRUED TO SHAKE IT OFF IT WAS SO HORRIBLE. 😭 i didnt post about it at the timr or like even a few days after (week or 2 ago now) BUT OH MY GOD. we had to walk to town becaude i REFUSED to go back into the car. IMAGINE IF IT WAS ACTUALLY A SPIDER AND IT STAYED ON ME THE WHOLE DAY :( ughhhh i keep seeing them in the corner of my eyes too but when i turn they arent there IT MAKES ME FEEL SICK LEAVE ME ALONE
#txt#my mum found out ut was a wasp because well. it stayed in fhe car actually#and it was pretty wasp like anyway when i saw it#ywllow...#im lucky it didnt start flying. that would have killed me#im also lucky it didnt sting me#the massive horrible spider campung in my backpack that i didnt notice when i TOOK MY BOOKS OUT UGHHHHHHHHHH:((((#i think i might be developing a phobia necause they just wont CHILL AWAY FROM ME theyre always right next to me or TRYING TO LAND ON MY FUCK#ING HEAD LIKE THAT HORRIBLE ONE DID IN JULY#LEAVE ME ALONE? THEY WONT LEAVE ME ALONE#ugh#UGHHHH#i donf MIND spiders but im hust starting to hate them so much i scream and run awau whenever theres one near me FUCK OFFFFF#IGS ALWAYS THE FAT HORRIBLE UGLY ONES TOO. LEAVE ME ALONE#anyway im sleeping in the living room tonight#and every time my hair tickles my neck i want to die
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“Damian isn’t ooc what are you talking aboutttt he’s only 14 and wants to trust his dad so badlyyyy guyssss don’t get upsettt” have you never read a comic with Damian in it in your life
#I FUCKING HATE TJISHDJDHF#WHAT IS GOING ON AM I INSANE???? AM I LOSING IT???#Damian trusting his dad despite BRUCE acting so out of character EVEN IF ITS TO PRAISE DAMIAN AND MAKE HIM FEEL SPECIAL#HAS HAPPENED BEFORE#AND HE HAS SPOTTED THAT SHIT AS STRANGE A MILE AWAY#AND HE WAS LIKE. 12. AT FOURTEEN WE’VE ESTABLISHED DAMIAN AS MORE OBSERVANT AND PREPARED FOR THIS#it can either be taken as retrofitting him into ‘normal’ developmental periods which again. we’ve established Damian has as the antithesis#or as a way to put down his character in the robin mantle in order to make Tim’s run look smart and perfect in comparison. which is gross.#Tim has been Robin and even moved past it and became even better and now we’re what? missing the good ol days?#Tim became Robin in 1989. NINETEEN EIGHTY NINE GUYS#THATS 35 YEARS AGO#I KNOW ITS NOSTALGIC FOR YOU BUT YOU HAD A LOT OF STUFF WITH HIM IN IT AND HES JUST A SMART LITTLE WHITE BOY#Damian became Robin in 2009 and we’ve barely tapped into his psychology because comics is so hot buttoned right now#that they don’t know which aspect to deal with first and foremost and always choose Bruce’s relationship as an easy out#Damian was Robin for barely 15 years and yet the guy that got DOUBLE his time is back for round 3. ok.#and here we are again.#Damian has proven himself to be so capable and smart his only downfall is his own hubris and inexperience#he has been trained SINCE BIRTH to use his head guys. a few years in America didnt take that out of him.#anyway. plz pick up a comic. damian would know better cause he’s not an average 14 y/o and he’s not just a traumatized little boy.#‘ohhhh he craves his dads attention and praise so much he’d believe anything he saiiiddd’ WHO TOLD YOU THAT??? ZDARSKY??#WHAT WAS ALL OF HIS YEAR OF PENANCE ON THAT ISLAND FOR#WHAT WAS HIS ARC WITH DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM HIS FATHER A BIT IN THE WAKE OF NEEDING SOME TIME TO HIS OWN REVELATIONS#WHAT ABOUT IT. DID IT JUST NOT HAPPEN SUDDENLY#whatever.
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet
#snap chats#i didnt even pre order the ichi plush but spiritually i did. good luck charm.#anyway rant time look away from here. Im At My Limit <- i say this every week#I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS WRONG <- lying. my moms home#i just feel terrible again. i feel so awful i gave myself a headache from being upset#do you know how upset you have to be to give yourself a headache just sitting and thinking#that happened when i was taking a spanish test once but i think i was just so stupid my brain actually started to hurt trying to think#i also remember being sad as hell that day tho so....... maybe it was both#everyday it feels like im sad thats so fucked up and theres nothing i can do about it#ALSO IT'S RAINING AGAIN rain never promises anything good unless you're a plant#im working but i should have this done in. idk a few hours#and then its the weekend right.... there's no limitations for sadness though brother doesn't run on a schedule#unless we're talking about seasonal depression but we know what i mean#ew im supposed to go to that con tomorrow i dont even know if i want to go anymore#i just don't want to do anything anymore ig is the vibe#idk i have a journal to whine bout all this in ╮(╯-╰)╭ squeezing ichi plush is a mood tho so im still posting#maybe if i play a lil y7 ill remember theres good things to wake up for..#also i gave myself another headache OWOWOWOW STOP when will it end#wait let me be sad again because my dad said we'd hang out today or tomorrow#but i just know that's not happening and now im even more sad WEHHH no one loves me etc etc die#sometimes you just need a melodramatic teenager moment i think we're all due that right like once a month#ok i have to stop my head really hurts ☠️☠️☠️
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.
#i love the stakes special for many reasons#but finn was honestly the best hes been in a while here#i think this is where we started to get back our boy before all the shit happens to him with fern and the rest#also. hes so fuckinf funny#like ties himself up and removes his hat to lure in the vampire#when they dont kill him right away he starts mocking him WHILE BEING LIFTED UP BY HIS HAIR#i think marceline gave him like a certain healthy fear#like he knew she wouldnt try to actually harm him#but also knew she was a badass that Could do Serious harm is she wanted to#im also surprised the vampires didnt act more like. surprised with him#hes the last human close enough but just keeps running into them on purpose and mocking them While they are about to kill him#love that#hes my boy#ot also would have been great to see jermaine here#bc he dealt with things like this#max screams#adventure time
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it's obvs not helped by the fact that buffy is my fave character, you notice the details of when they're poorly treated by the narrative and want to rescue them from it (which is where faith comes in......)
#btvs#buffy summers#buffy the vampire slayer#this is why so many people ended up shipping spike x buffy i think (i mean also they have great chemistry once it starts)#despite being canonically a terrible person he's also the one who sees that she's hurt#and puts that first -- up until of course That scene but i'll see how i feel about that when it comes#and of course faith who was right way more of the time than the narrative fully acknowledges because the good guys dont like her#faith is like buffy if buffy didnt have giles i think -- in the sense that he's the only support that counts for anything imo#faith and buffy shouldve run away together and smooched a lot and not given the scooby gang the time of day#urgh i need to read some faith x buffy#that time where you're like *actually your platonic relationships are no good -- this once romance WILL save you i swear*
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#all the things i didnt do this break#*strong internalized fox sounds of vibrating out of existence*#scheduled cry also did not happen within its allotted time so smths bound to explode#but we love explosions theyre pretty and make a mess of things and go out in fantastic lil fires everywhere#*smacks body with a penknife to the abdomen*#i am two unhinged events away from doin smth regretable and momentous like running away#(this is a joke in everything but the mood and spirit)#(its a vibe and the vibe is walking to the end of the beach and finding out it doesnt end but who cares bc its a beach right?)
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i would LOVE to stop having dreams forever actually
#surprise surprise guess who it wss about#i was in a mall w my brother and we were soooo chillin#found a cool hoodie that i want irl now. was walking to the checkout and guess who walked in with a group of her friends#(who used to be my old friends. btw.)#and we. locked eyes and i looked away and scurried up to the register like a fucking prey animal#and after i paid for it there was like this barrier thing between the register line and the rest of the store#and as i was goinf aroundnthat i ran into her by accident and dropped my stuff#and i had to sit there and listen to her indirectly speak about me to her friends even thiugh i was right there and#jghughgughh writing this out makes it feel like the most stupid high school drama thing but#i remember looking up from the floor and seeing one of my old friends and like. pleading w her for any sort of help#and she looked. sad but didnt do shit#so i just had to. run out tail between legs like a fucking coward#and the entire rest of the dream walking aroundnthe mall they would come into every store i eas in like. 4 minutes behind me#just enough time for me to. forget abt the experience and try to enjoy myself#only to see yhem again a minute later and remember why im running for my goddamn life#ughghghghggghghgh#dont. look at me.#and now its like 10 am which means ive slept in and i fucking hate sleeping in bc i lose like half the day#this is valuable time i could have spent being productive or something. fuck
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When I tell you guys THIS is me 😭 im not even kidding. That and if they make him even uglier, I have fears.
#ooc || an absolute mythology nerd#ngl i was not at all going to be upset if sigma didnt get time#or they cut off the season right at him#LIKE I LOVE HIM#But god im so scared theyre going to fuck it up 😭#altho maybe itll be a nice reminder to the fandom#that sigma can absolutely OWN a room if he wants#how he can have a presence and dangerous#telling the hunting dogs to run away#WHY DOES EVERYONE FORGET THAT SCENE I LOVE THAT SCENE#Im never forgiving bsd for leaning into the baby / toddler jokes#never ever i hated those jokes
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