#'im an asshole but pls get to know me its def not fucked up that i take my bullshit out on random ppl like a toddler pls coddle this'

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[forlorn-crows]

Oh it's Dew for sure to me.

He's always characterized as either a) a complete asshole with no regard for others or b) the whiniest, most pathetic little thing that cries at the drop of a hat. To me it seems like most people characterize him as younger than the other ghouls. Maybe not consciously, but it sure reads that way a lot of the time. Like he's completely emotionally immature and only capable of having a single personality trait (see above).

Like. Has no one seen how soft he can be on stage? I get that he had his little tiffs with Aether and sometimes chokes Rain, but for the most part he's such a softie. He plays with Swiss and dances when Nihil's casket gets brought out. He teases the crowd and clearly has fun with it. He has a whole personality!!

It's unfair to pigeonhole him as "the aggressive one", and I honestly don't know where the idea of him being a pathetic little crybaby came from, but it bothers me to no end every time I see him cry the second someone so much as kisses his neck or something.

PLS SHARE YOUR THOTS CROW

ohhh mr dewdrop, its time for curtain callll

@rrriver yours im gonna touch on at the end here bc its so interesting!!

but yes. reigning opinion seems to be that the babyfied version of dew is overwritten and very 2D. as well as the 'will burn your eyebrows at the drop of a pin' dew. ive touched on these things a little already.

but. dew is the fandom favorite, id say. the one everyone loooves to throw trauma onto. he is the very definition of 'put that guy in a situation'. he is very commonly written as the focus of many fics, whatever the genre. and to me, its so interesting that so many of us dont like these common headcanons, and do go out of our way to write our own versions, yet these things still stay the overarching theme. why is that? rhetorical question, really, but i do think the 'over emotional' idea of dew is very prevalent.

and, like ive said previously, i think he's much more stoic than that. he def shows some emotion. like cirrus, hes not a robot or anything. we see that on stage, of course, with the bits and what not. i think he knows when to joke, when to offer a hug, or when to get fired up about something (excuse the pun)

but i dont think hes going around lighting shit on fire cause something minor happened. do i think hed do that in certain circumstances? yeah absolutely. especially if youre of the belief that this ghoul has gone through some shit. has seen death and treason and went through an entire shift of all the atoms in his fucking body.

but hes strong, resilient. as well as soft and caring. to me, this is a ghoul that listens, that cares so fucking deeply. but he's calm about most things. observant. and a little frisky when he feels up for it.

and river, yes, he's so protective. like i said, most of us think hes seen some shit. so why wouldnt he be more level headed, stronger mentally, because hes seen what being reactive can do to a ghoul

and i really like your take on the different elements hes had and how that transfers to his personality. because there are so many nuances in elements in general! and i even have different ideas to how he acted as a newly summoned water ghoul verses a more 'seasoned' one. and some dont even believe he changed elements at all! but i agree, i dont think hes some shy little pretty water ghoul and nothing more. that boy had sass even back then, maybe even more so. but to me, he's always been that stoic and thoughtful ghoul that i do my best to write him as haha. there are far better writers of dew than i, but i for sure agree with y'all that there's things he isnt.

[silentxxsoul]

The ‘EDDIE TALKS ABOUT THE SHOOTING…SORTA’ reaction dump:

After the sneak peek at the equestrian park I can say honestly I’m not ready but also completely ready so ahhhh

How she gonna fall over the rails up that high??

Oh yall dumb dumb lmao wtf

He just fuckin let go ?!??????/

And pointing at her like no one can clearly see she's hanging for her life

Chimney!!!!!!! The gang is so, so close to being back together yessssss

OH MY GOD DOMESTIC EDDIE BEING ADORABLE IM MELTING DYING CAN'T LIVE

THE SMILE AND THE CREAM CHEESE MUSTACHE

THE NOOOOOOOOOOOSE

HE'S BEING PLAYFUL WITH CHRIS IM PERISHING OMG MY HEARTTTTTTTTTTTTT HES GETTING THERE

YOU'RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE

WAIT -- ??? WHAT???????

OH YOU MOTHER FUCKERS

I'm personally sending y'all my therapy bills you assholes oh my god whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

"You're always dying" - I - excuse you?! FOX WE NEED TO TALK

I expect that from fanfic not on my screen! It hits harder in canon tho holy shit

Bobby, I'm so fucking glad to see you and Eddie together y'all don't even know

Pls I actually like poor Jonah :(

That's not dumb luck, that's just being dumb with shitty luck

Taking this commercial break to reflect on how well Fox pulled the rug out from under us with the happy kitchen scene but bitches I expect to finally get a happy kitchen scene okay?

Again I'll say, dumb decision with shitty luck lol

That has Chimney written all over it lmao

Karen on my screen, for real real? GIMME MORE OF HER PLSS

It's a full moon, suddenly all this chaos makes sense

I'm desperately trying NOT to make a "here's your sign joke"

The Hen/Chim sass is back ahhh I love ittttttt god I missed it

Eddie, talking with Chris about Frank and therapy my heart ♥♥♥

I swear if this is another bait and switch I will riot

Baby Chris noooooooooooooooo never ever

And now sick Jee-Yun, I'm gonna go sob now

Oh shit she's going the Daniel route oh no oh no oh no

Fox I'll square up if you hurt a single hair on Jee or Chris' heads I STG

Like they really aren't fucking around with the punches today, huh

(I dig it tho)

They had to keep his ass in frame huh

I mean I'm not complaining but lol perfect position for some respectful looking

Madney bbies ily ♥

Kenneth and JLH are knocking this out of the park!!!

We get MORE therapy Eddie ?! M O R E ???

Logically I knew this but also the showrunners/writers love having shit happen off screen so ya know

Buck, babe that wasn't even close to the assignment but cute AF

The fact that theres so much 'Buck and Chris drawing together' in fanon and now its CANON is a WIN!!!!

If Eddie puts that on the fridge I will LOSE it

Jee being okay and the handholding is giving me a lot of hope for the Buckley-Han family going forward ♥♥♥

Oh shit he isn't going to make it, is he

I'm hoping he makes it -- wait is that the first chick ? She was the doc?? Damn, did not see that coming

I'm so glad the kid didn't die

How the fuck is Buck holding those things straight out of the oven

Its like the sink pizza all over again lmao

MORE BATHENA MOMENTS TOO?? What did we deserve to get served so well today??

(suffer through 5A and the BT/L drama, probably)

Shoulda fessed up dumbass, just sayin. We all know Taylor doesn't just give up a leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

Buck, it was def you bud

itshappening.gif

How they gonna just end there I need another hour !!!

Honestly this felt like OG 911 and I loved it so damn much. Get back to the fast paced action and feature all the cast. I've missed the Bathena moments and we seriously need way more Karen. That game night was so much fun! I missed Chimney and Hen teaming up so much more than I thought I did and I'm so happy to see it back.

[konaizumi]

Gen Y ep 11 thoughts/reaction

- yeees, make thanuwayu canon!

- i literally just want wayu to be happy

- one of my favorite things about this show is how mature the characters feel, like a majority of the conflicts are caused by the characters being confused or unsure of their feelings and trying to take time to work through them and this unintentionally hurts other characters, but this feels more genuine than a bunch of drama created by stupid misunderstandings and characters being petty, and yes, communication would help a lot of these problems, but it never feels like the writers are just adding things in for no other reason than ‘drama’

- anyways, back to thanuwayu and that beautiful hug and wayu’s precious smile

- that brief flash of thanu’s smile, looking so genuinely happy to have wayu in his arms

- poor phai tho, I don’t want any of my babies getting hurt

- anybody else freak out for a second when he took off his shirt in the mirror and worry that he had gotten the tattoo then were immediately relieved when his back was still bare? just me?

- i tend to prefer college shows rather than high school ones, but my favorite thing about high school thai bls is how accurately they portray high school boys, just boys goofing off, showing their sexy hips

- pls poktong just kiss and make up already, i liked you a lot better when your genre was fluff

- watching pok being all flirty and douchy just seems out of character

- 15 min in and still no markkit

- i’m glad the whole blackmailing plot has now been fully explained, but seeing sandee suddenly smirking and being an asshole is giving me the same feelings as when poktong got weirdly aggressive last ep (by feelings i mean confusion and dislike)

- i wanted phai to end up with sandee bc sandee was so cute and sweet but i don’t know if i want that anymore

- also i forgive tong a little bit for what he did (getting pok beat up not switching the test scores) knowing that he had good(ish) intentions, he still fucked up tho and did a bad thing

- i’m calling it now, either next ep or next season, right when poktong is finally making progress, pok will find out about the switched scores and bam, drama

- pls poktong just kiss and make up already

- i know this scene is supposed to be romantic and all but i can’t stop cringing at the placement of the kisses, like next to the mouth but not quite the cheek? the chin??

- back to my preferred high school babies

- i can’t stop laughing at how they all got the coming of age parted bangs hairstyle to symbolize that they’re in college now

- all the high school babies look good except for pok who now has too much forehead, not that his style before was great but it was better

- thanu is such boyfriend material

- that phaiwayu hug hurts my soul, wayu looks so happy, i just want them both to be happy and not get hurt

- Finally!! 25 min in and finally we get markkit

- i want more of this thanu, thanu with a smile and joking around with his friends

- I really want jiw’s butterfly shirt

- jack and jew kidknapping mark like that was prob my favorite moment of the whole episode, that gif is now my header

- alright, padbok is back, still waiting for their story, but i kinda hope their resolution waits till season 2 bc i want character development for padbok and there’s already so much that needs to happen next ep that i think his story would only be rushed and somewhat glossed over

- i know some people hate padbok, and i also find him annoying, but ever since they dropped the idea of padbok x sab in an earlier ep, all i want is padbok redemption ark

- i guess thanu is somehow going to feature in the poktong story

- i absolutely love sab and klui, they are my favorites of the high school babies

- i guess i can’t call them high school babies anymore

- jackkoh, just admit your feelings for each other already

- aww, markkitwayu choosing custody over the babies, mark wants to be a good senior so badly

- soon as kit said they hadn’t picked a medicine beau, i was like, it’s going to be tong, and i was right, it’s ittpai all over again, but whether it’s better or worse remains to be seen

- kit really does attract the beau’s doesn’t he

- don’t worry mark, you’re much prettier than pok

- pls give me more kitwayu bonding and helping each other heal from pha

- damn kit, you were so close to getting phai to spill

- yes phai, make kit move in with mark

- i absolutely need to know what kit’s test is for phai’s suitors

- i would just like to admire dun’s ability to look so completely lovestruck, like his gaze is just so full of love and it’s so sweet

- that kiss was so cute, i’m sorry i ever doubted you thanuwayu

- that’s pha’s car isn’t it? he’s watching them? I thought he would come back this ep and cause some drama, but he didn’t so he has to come back next ep right?

- i like that they’ve softened poktong bc i like them much better as friends to lovers rather than enemies to lovers

- honestly, their story has a lot of potential but something about it is just really not working well for me and i think its the weird aggression bc they don’t annoy me when their being sweet and smiling. I think if pok had more of a bad boy vibe originally it would’ve been better bc the aggression wouldn’t seem so ooc and the conflict would feel a bit more natural

- their story also has a ton of parallels to ittpai (my gear your gown), so im interested how it’s going to go bc i did like ittpai despite the narrative issues of that show

- poktong: *doing whatever tf they’re doing*

  mark: tf did i just step in

- i really appreciate thanu just saying straight out that he has feelings for wayu, i know he struggled with it, but i like him coming to this point that’s like yes, he feels an attraction to phai, he feels drawn to him and he’s seen their poential future, but right now he has actual, solid feelings for wayu built up from their interactions over months

- what he has with phai isn’t real--it could be real, if he went down that path and choose to get closer to phai, but right now his feelings for wayu are real, so that’s what he’s choosing

- him saying they should never meet again was a little tho, spare my poor baby phai at least a little bit

- i get a dose of serotonin every time i see kit wearing mark’s gear

- the markkit is lacking this ep but they are trying to make up for it with all this good good thanuwayu content

- i’m torn between wanting and not wanting thanu to tell wayu about phai bc it will hurt wayu if he does but it’s gonna hurt more later on when wayu finds out on his own

- I can’t tell if wayu has a suspicion about phai, like he def senses there’s another person but I can’t tell if he knows it’s phai

- okay but thanuwayu are so cute and sweet together

- pls let my babies kiss, i couldn’t appreciate their first kiss bc i didn’t ship them then and wayu thought it was pha so pls let them have a do over

- you know what, i like thanuwayu having visions like thanuphai. I can’t quite tell if that was the writers’ intention, but i hope it is bc that would imply that thanuphai aren’t actually soulmates and that what they see is just a potential future, like they could be happy together, but there are also other people who they can be happy with

- i’m not super crazy about this whole ‘let’s rewrite my memories of pha with memories of you’ bc that doesn’t seem like the healthiest way to move on from pha or to start a new relationship but whatever makes wayu happy i guess

- however i do like how it ties into the whole ‘no predetermined fate’ thing and shows how life is shaped by choices and chance

- pls let my babies kiss tho

- hey so i am not liking this preview of the next ep

- anyways, so i’m liking how their handling the thanuwayuphai thing so far, but it is going to be bad next ep as im assuming the envelope that has phai’s picture is probably phai returning the picture to cut ties but obvi wayu is going to find out about their relationship

- still not sure how i feel about poktong, its better than last ep which i did not like and def shows more potential, but i think we’re gonna have to wait and see, don’t like the direction they’re taking with sandee tho

- also whoops, this got really long but i have a lot of feelings about this show

- fingers crossed for actual markkit content next ep

[aresfms]

「 harry styles. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 ARES BYERS 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 FINANCE 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 DECEMBER 2018 」and seems to be the 「 THE RECUSANT」of the group.「 ARES 」is a「 SENIOR 」 and seems to enjoy 「 BOXING AND SOCCER 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

listen don’t say i didn’t warn you, this is a lil long. but if you guys are interested in any connections ( scroll down to the end for some ideas ) then pls hit me up. im so ready.

okay basically i’ll do a summary in case y’all dont wanna read his SAD story. tw: domestic abuse, abandonment, alcohol abuse. 

Summary: ARES BYERS, 23, SENIOR.

A finance major at LexU.

He’s currently doing both soccer and boxing, but soccer would be for his athletic scholarship. ( he has a full ride )

Boxing would definitely be like more of an anger relief thing and honestly, he defs loves soccer but he knows he can’t rely on that for a forever thing. plus he defs things boxing is good money, yknow that side hustle illegal shit

Loves art like a lot.

 He visits his siblings probably every other day or whenever he can because he really is so protective of them or he’d even bring them to campus all the time even though his “ step dad” hates it.

His relationship with his mum is still super strained because she really is in denial about her toxic abusive situation with his “step dad”  and hes trying to tell her hes going to get her out and she just does not want to.

His mum is an alcoholic and his stepdad is physically abusive to them like most of her past partners which is something ares has been dealing with since he was a child.

hes solely doing finance to get a good job to get his mum and siblings out of the situation theyre in now.

he wants sole custody of his 3 siblings but i mean, he needs a stable job and place to live aka finance

 has 3 younger sisters who he adores.

HISTORY STUFF ( YIKES SOZ ) Its long everybody.

 He was born to teenage parents who hadn’t even graduated high school yet. They had a pretty tumultuous situation and his dad really didn’t think they should have a kid, but his mum thought that it would bring them closer together and make his dad mature…. Which definitely didn’t end up happening.

once Ares was born his dad stuck around for about a year or two before basically abandoning them and offering to give up parental rights to his mum Alycia.

That’s when things basically just went downhill. It really messed with his mum, obviously she was supporting ares on her own with no support from anyone, no family and very little money, at the time she had been trying to go to school but had to give that up once she was the sole provider for Ares. And the fact that someone she thought was going to be her partner abandoned her just led her down a pretty dark path.

It was just his mum and him after this. There wasn’t a lot of stability for them. His mum for a while was the only family he had. his grandma wasn’t really very supportive of his mum having the baby and living with his dad etc and they’re relationship was quite strained too.

• By the time Ares was about 12 he was already probably mature beyond his years, his mum by then had basically gave herself up to alcohol and had some pretty bad shady boyfriends in the house. Ares would definitely still vividly remember like explosive fights between her and boyfriends where things got physical between them and even to Ares from multiple different boyfriends.

His schooling was just.. a mess he definitely repeated a grade or two because of the commotion of home life.

Regardless though he was still VERY protective of his mum even if he felt pretty abandoned by her, he was just confused why she was letting these people come around when they were better on just the two of them. But that really didn’t last long, his mum ended up having multiple other kids with different people.

 So he has Maeva, Orion and Lea who are his half siblings and theyre all under 12.

I  think he definitely grew up faster than most because he always felt an urge to protect his mum and his siblings now especially. he worried about them all. He was definitely an anxious kid.

• His mum ended up marrying but honestly Ares couldn’t hate his stepfather more. He would refuse and still does refuse to call him dad or stepdad because he truly thinks he’s a piece of shit. Like he knows he treats his mum like shit and hes had no problem being physical with the both of them and once ares got old enough he really did start fighting back which only made it worse.

There’s probably been multiple times where its been ares calling the police on him after he fought with his mum but as usual his mum always takes his side which honestly fucked ares up constantly but eventually as soon as he could he was working even at like 13/14 because he was desperate to save money thinking he could help his family get out of the fucking mess they were in.

 His number one priority is and will always be his mum and his sisters even though deep down I think he has some kind of resentment towards his mum he’ll always love her. He just wishes that she would take his side especially against his “ step dad”

Basically though once he was about that age he realised he really needed to start focusing on school, grades and sport anything he could so he had some kind of chance to get into a good uni and get his family out of everything. Like he knew he’d need somewhere he could get a full ride since theyd never be able to afford it and somewhere still nearby so he could look after his sisters still.

 His stepdad knew though that ares was working even when he wasn’t supposed to be and he really took advantage of that, he was definitely beyond lazy and ares basically always felt more of a parent to his sister than anyone else.

 So basically he ended up graduating – late however he was 19 when he graduated high school because of repeats and luckily enough he got a full ride to Lexington university and he really took it within a heartbeat. He ended up choosing finance not because its anything he’s interested in but because he wanted something that would pay really well so he can support his family, but he knew he didn’t have 8 years to do medical school etc.

Personality:

 he can have a shitty attitude won’t lie, like he’s very focused and set on what he wants and needs to do and he wants no one getting in the way of that.

He’s super into boxing to release a lot of the pent up anger he obviously feels and really because he wanted to know how to fight back all the assholes his mum had in his life.

He is can be extroverted and talkative but I think with the people who aren’t close to him or to people he doesn’t have a real trust in it’s probably a pretty surface level. Its never about his family or past in fact I think that part would be something very few if any people know about.

his sisters aka his pride and joy, he probs has pictures of them in his wallet.

He likes to keep things light hearted as a distraction from himself but he definitely doesn’t let people in easily.

He really tries to avoid confrontation because it’s so triggering to him but he does have a temper which is what scares him. He is like paranoid he’s going to become a product of his environment so he goes against that as much as he can but if people come for his family or anything he would lose it.

Can be aloof.

 Has a hard time trusting anyone has good motives or will stick around because of much he’s been abandoned and how manipulative the people in his mums were.

He’s cynical.

 He really holds onto grudges pretty easily.

His ass is pretty sarcastic and witty, a huge smart ass.

 He’s not into commitment right now or he’s avoiding. Like the only examples he’s ever seen of relationships have been a mess and it’s not exactly his priority. ( but lbr  whats the fun in that. )

 He tries to abstain from alcohol but he finds that pretty hard. When he does he tends to drink pretty heavily which is why he tries not to because he knows it obviously has caused his mum so much grief.

 Hes an escapist.

 He’s really super protective though, of the people he does have in his life I think he really wants to give those people the things he didn’t have so he overcompensates and would literally fight whatever or whoever for the people around him.

he hates authority.

•He definitely is really big into art but that’s also something really personal he doesn’t share much and he knows like that isn’t going to provide for his family which is exactly why he's done finance.

Connections:

MY FAVE PART!!!

Long lost half sibling aka the child his dad had after he abandoned him

Someone who is a super good influence on his sisters ( id die for this.. )

Strangers who found out they were hooking up with the same person then became friends or enemies. ( my man a nastie sometimes. )

A FWB someone he can mess with and end up talk a little deeply with bc they think its not serious.

ANYONE who is a kid of one of his mums exes, like someone she dated, bc whew why not.

a rebound, someone he used to try to get over his ex!!

a fucking roomie plssss :) ( or past roomie, he lived off campus for 3 years so defs room for multiples ) this person rlly saw... everything

someone who went on a couple dates/ messed around but then realised omg we’d be so much better off as friends, somoene who rlly has each others back.

ooo someone who has an unrequited crush on him

Or someone he hates but yknow someone who he has mad sexual tension with ( hate meaning they lowkey would ravage each other )

One of his close confidants, someone who is basically one of the few people he can confide in.

An “ex “ who he broke up without much explanation.

His dealer ( smh im the worst )

Some co workers that has his back.

Potentially someone he’s fought against esp someone who does boxing too. es

Someone on his soccer team.

he very into art, so potentially someone who he might connect or do that with, he defs shows stuff sometimes but VVVV rarely.

someone he maybe wasnt that close w/ but he knows from back home so they’d suspect about his home life and he just is not having the prying :)

Honestly any connections im down. THE USUAL, bestfriends, etc etc

[grizztheexplorer]

Ep 7 Love Victor live reaction:

- Simon officially adopting Victor its so funny to me😩

- happy and normal😭 baby noo. I used to think that as bi and as a reason not to come out. Shit catches up to u sooner or later even tho i have genuinely liked so many guys and have never even dated either gender. Shit catches up to u anyways. Lowkey this whole thing has a special place in my heart bc i came out while watching Love, Simon with my mom🥺🥺

- nah i feel so bad for Felix. Dude is worth more than gold. He def should look for someone else. U see, reminds me of stydia but Stiles and Lydia became like super close friends and relied so much in each other before hooking up. By the time they finally kissed they were ALREADY in love with each other and Lydia had risked her life multiple times for him and seeker for him for comfort for years. Felix and Lake can work but she needs to get to know him.

- Armando def doesn’t trust her to give piano lessons. Been saying it in every post, but if you can’t truly forgive and trust, either separate until you can for fully divorce. Without trust all they have is small moments of happiness while they build a war zone of insecurity in their home. Awful.

- rip Victor if he stares at Benji on a shirt he gonna die with no sleeves💀💀

- girl Mia don’t like you like that. Try building a friendship and THEN try hugging her. Otherwise it looks like u doing it just for her dad lmao, bc clearly she doesn’t want to.

- Victor is a lil too happy Benji declined Derek’s call lmao. Altho after the anniversary thing and bailing he deserved that.

-nah Armando you continued your relationship with Isabel on your own free will. You can’t keep her from doing what she likes bc you are scared. If you still don’t trust TAKE A BREAK. SEPARATE. Keeping her locked up is fucked up and unfair.

- Felix and Pilar just had issues with IG they could have temporarily erased the apps and play games or something lmao

-........ but I wouldn’t be pissed at Pilar and Felix being a thing tho👀👀

- nah you definitely shouldn’t have risked the trip victor💀💀 ik he did it for Benji but THIS is a shitty thing to do to Mia. Bc i’m almost sure he’s gonna stand her up

-omg a blue suit like the one Troy Bolton wore in a Night to Remember in HSM 3 shdjdj

-aaaah I hate this. I LOVEEE that he’s spending time with Benji but i do hate he’s leaving Mia hanging even if it wasn’t on purpose :((

-nah bitch im sorry are we supposed to forget Andrew was classist and lowkey homophobic in ep 1 and then a bully in ep 1 and 2 too??????? Like are we supposed to pretend he isn’t a dick just bc he likes Mia?? Nah fuck him. Get Mia a new love interest idc

-omg if it weren’t for the Mia thing i would want them to spent the night 🥺🥺 I did see a post before starting the show that said love victor had the one bed troope so sjdjdjdj even if i feel so bad for Mia i’m exited about Benji and Victor spending time???

-omg Victor noooooo don’t fuck Mia over bc of Benji like thaaaaat. I’m upseeeeeeet

- Victor did a rat and snake move but sjdjdjdj im glad Mia isn’t pissed. I’m still lowkey pumped over Benji and Victor spending the night but im mad its gonna happen like this😭😭

- it would be so easy to just get Mia with Andrew but she deserves better ugh

-omg I do feel sorry for Andrew even tho he still a classist asshole on my book

- omg all these kids be having a past of sex and alcohol and they are sophomores😭😭😭💀💀

- IS VICTOR GONNA MAKE A MOVEEE?????

- HE MADE A MOVE I G A S P E D

- now BENJI gonna be confused af

- MY BABY VICTOR NOOOOOOO I HATE IT HERE HES NOT ALLOWED TO CRYYYY

- Benji let him speak pls WHY CANT PEOPLE JUST COMMUNICATE DAMN IT

-NAH THIS BITCH GONNA INVITE HIMSELF TK NEW YORK JUST BC SIMON’S DUMBASS SAID “imma hug u” AJDJSJDJD THIS KID B O L D

[tfw-no-tennis]

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 

KILLUA ;_; 

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS: 

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 

as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

[the-coolest-mallard]

Like a Kickass Guy | ASC

Louie gets high at Mei’s party and texts Nemo and Tae.

@justkeepdancing-nemo​ @moon-yeongtae​

Louie: holy shit u guyyyyyy Louie: shit has been going dowwwwwwwwn. Or upside down? down and up really lol Louie: i may not have muscles n shit but guess WHAT I DID Tae: hulked out and killed someone? Louie: woah man no! Duuuuuude have u seen me? impossible Louie: i'm too cute to go to jail yet Louie: i mean EVER Louie: im too cute to go to jail EVER Louie: did a keg stand lol. sorta Tae: whoa nice Tae: how you feelin? Louie: a m a z i n g Louie: you won't BELIEVE how good i am Louie: i felt like IRON - no. i felt like CAPTAIN AMERICA. LIKE A KICK ASS Louie: GUY Tae: nice dude i'm glad ur having fun Tae: is mark there Louie: he was here somewhere. he asked me to come Louie: dunno where he went. maybe he's with johnny idk Louie: but who cares lol Louie: i'm great Louie: no more sads Tae: wow you're really drunk huh? Louie: nooooooooooooo Louie: haha I was gonna drink Louie: but then this weird girl showed up Louie: and now i'm super

Tae: but you said you did a keg stand Tae: that's like drinking isnt it? Louie: is it? i thought it was just a hand stand on a keg lol Louie: who knows? not me Tae: i mean i guess Tae: what weird girl Louie: idk blond. weird. she wanted me to CHEAT ON MARK WTF Louie: i mean she seriously helped me out but also Louie: wtf Louie: weird. so weird. but we went to the bathroom and she Louie: gave me t his stuff n i'm like Louie: wow i mean i can't stop talking Louie: i think I've said some seriously stupid shit Tae: wait Tae: what? Louie: what? i didn't tell you anything stupid did I? Louie: i don't think i did. thank god. imaigngi f i told u that Louie: lololol i'd die forever Tae: louie what are you taking about what stuff Louie: stuff? which stuff Louie: im not tellig Tae: what did she give you Louie: ohhhhhhhhhhh Louie: oh i can tell u that haha Louie: she called it all kinds of weird stuff like snow white or whatever which is bizarre af but whatever Louie: i like sniffed it and it felt super whack Tae: LOUIE WHAT THE FUCK Louie: and then it was like Louie: wow Louie: idk man i wanted to not feel sad and i feel good now Tae: holy shit what the fuck i cannot believe Tae: louie that was so dumb Louie: you're so dumb! Louie: no that's not true Louie: you're my faovriedgof person ever Tae: where the fuck is nemo why isn't he here to tell you how stupid that was where are you Tae: you're at mei's right Louie: yeh i crashed lol Louie: well no mark and johnny wanted to crash Louie: and since mark's been cool and let me stay at his place i was like Louie: well i should probs go Tae: yeah well THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD'VE FUCKING DONE COKE OR WHATEVER YOU DID jesus fuck Nemo: wait wtf did i just read Tae: yeah Tae: i have to go fucking get him Louie: why are you maddddd? im not bugging anyone! i'm having fun! Nemo: wait whats going on! Nemo: louie are you okay? Louie: i'm FINE Louie: i'm super Nemo: he did cocaine? Louie: super human Tae: he's at mei's party and he fucking YES Louie: you could say Louie: ughhh stop making this so big Tae: do you know how many kids my brother had to see in the hospital bc of drugs louie? Nemo: yeah that stuffs really bad Nemo: its human chemicals Nemo: do you feel okay? are you dizzy? Louie: do you know what else is bad? life. being sad. freddie mercury leaving too soon. presidents. earthquakes Nemo: louie D: Louie: tthe hunger games Tae: hey louie seriously how are you feeling like Tae: in your body Louie: that's a weird thing 2 akks dud Louie: im fine! Tae: okay but like Tae: if u close ur eyes and like idk try to feel what's happening like is your heart beating really fast? do you feel like puking? do you feel like you're moving? Louie: oh i mean yeah lol Louie: my heart is skipping faster n when i Louie: wait i gotta shut up shut up Nemo: tae yah is that bad? Nemo: would jun hyung know? Tae: i'm asking him right nwo Louie: so fussy you guys are fussy im gooood Nemo: louie just keep texting u ok Louie: look how good i am Louie: 

Nemo: very pretty Tae: yeah gorgeous how's your breathing Louie: wouldnt u like 2 kno Louie: how's your butt Louie: bet its still kicckable Tae: you have literally never kicked my ass at anything Tae: nemo does your appa know about this stuff? you probably shouldn't ask him huh? Louie: DON'T AOISFJPDOGN Nemo: its human drugs Nemo: so not really Louie: 4 THE LOV OF GOD Louie: that guy lredy probs haaaaaates me Nemo: his magic wouldnt work either i dont think Louie: im a toxin to freidn parnets Nemo: yeah if he ever finds out we woudl be banned from being in the same school i think he'd transfer me to that catholic place and appa hates catholicism Nemo: this is why you shouldnt do drugs louie :heart: dont yu wanna keep being my friend Louie: :cry: :cry: :cry: Louie: you're my best mate wgodidpsdggdfh Louie: you too tae Tae: wow rude Tae: oh okay Louie: wow Louie: dont be such a bitch tae Tae: well you started it when you did cocaine Louie: i used to think u were the coolest but maybe  im demoting u n promoing Louie: nemo Louie: nemo ur the new hottie Tae: the what Louie: what? Tae: louie i'm coming to get you Louie: whyyyyy the partys still partying Louie: ppl be FITIN Louie: man ud fit right in with your muscle bod Louie: well cept one fitghts girls Tae: where are you in the house Louie: idk the dance place. the life space Louie: where everyone is? Nemo: is jun going too? Nemo: aghaldkfjaskldfj Tae: yeah Louie: wait wait wait wait wait Nemo: ugh im sorry i cant be there Louie: where u going Nemo: louie im so sorry just keep texting us Louie: no Louie: i should dkslefadkad Tae: hey louie what's your favorite queen song Louie: skedlolde Louie: what? ohhhhh wow tough choice man i mean Louie: there are soooo many good SONGS Louie: lately i've been listening 2 somebody to love a lot cause i been dfpsogdpsjsd Louie: buuuuuut Tae: i like don't stop me now Louie: that's my OTHER FAVORITE Louie: man u vibe so well with me i hate it Louie: ha ha ha Louie: j k this is why we're bffs Nemo: hey queen was on the CD you gave me Nemo: ive been listening to it! Louie: reallyyyyy? did you like it? Louie: hey hey tae tae. taeeeeeeee. tae you should send a slefdie Louie: slefit Louie: sel fie Nemo: course! i love it Nemo: maybe i'll pick a song and choreo a dance for it Tae: you want a selfie? Louie: oooooo yes please nemo Louie: and def yes pls tae Louie: do smehthing cute Nemo [deleted]: ugh louiealkf Nemo: where's mark again? Nemo: im gonna text mark Louie: idkkkkkkk Tae: 

Louie: he went to do some stuff with johnny Louie: woahhhhhhhhh Louie: waogdisjdpsgjosg Louie: shit Tae: that's me coming to get ur dumb ass Louie: wait ur coming to get me? Louie: shit shit shit wait i gotta skedoled Louie: skedadled Tae: what? Louie: well much as i think ur great im ok Louie: also i thinkk hoooo shit Louie: gotta ifnd a window lol Tae: louie if you don't stay there i will fucking murder you Tae: i'm serious Louie: deth by tae or tdeth by uncle d when he fins out Louie: shit mn if i stay its a double featur Nemo: :/ Nemo: please louie, we're worried about you Nemo: we love you! we just want to make sure you're okay Tae: yeah Tae: you're gonna stay the night with me okay Louie: oh god Tae: it'll be great Louie: hahaahahahahahaha Louie: N E M O Louie: tell him why i suddenly Louie: sgosigdsgsdg Nemo: louie  i think you should Nemo: um drink water Louie: im good ill just find Louie: makr Louie: mark Nemo: that's also good please find mark Louie: n go to his place? Tae: what did i say Nemo: nothing he's on drugs Tae: i said stay put Louie: im really good thouuuugh Louie: n mark will look out for me Louie: marks nce Tae: well mark left u alone and you did cocaine so i mean not that that's his fault i'm just saying Nemo: ugh what if mark did cocaine Nemo: u dont think mark did cocaine did he Louie: dont blae me him 4 ME BEING ME Tae: DID MARK DO COCAINE Louie: honestly i dont dieossgodkh Louie: NO Tae: fuck Nemo: he might not have! we dont know Louie: i dont deesrve mrk naywayl ol Tae: nemo never do cocaine please Nemo: i cant see mark lee doing cocaine unless someone told him it was fun dip Louie: he n johnny were just doing fun stuff 2gether Tae: lmfao Nemo: id probably DIE if i did cocaine so dont worry ahha Nemo: big no no for fairies Louie: speaking of immenditd death Louie: we sure windows r no go Nemo: which is why u shouldnt do it solidarity c'mon louie Tae: if you aren't there when i get there i will be very upset Nemo: he will be Nemo: wont u louie Louie: im scared i dont want the lady 2 yell at me Louie: pls i wanna leave Tae: I'm almost there Louie: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD= Louie: what if i hid in the bathroom Nemo: its gonna be okay louie :heart: Nemo: just um, sing a little queen Louie: no its not ill be ded 4ever n dragged home n stuck with my asshole fam n never escape n ded Nemo: you won't be dead you'll be safe Louie: shit someone said its the COPS Louie: im double triple dead Louie: n thats bullshit Louie: my fam isnt safe they suuuuuuuck Tae: WHERE ARE YOU Tae: fuck there are so many people Louie: trapped in the prison of xistance Louie: a house of horrs Louie: horors Tae: i'm serious louie i can't find you Louie: just make urself taller Louie: ill see you Tae: i'm gonna yell for you Louie: ok ok ok Nemo: ugh fksjf

[chaostwofold]

1-41 on the asks? Also gn

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

Morning glories!! not only are they already my favorite flower, theyre extremely toxic and mean unconditional love! i have a tendency to fall for the wrong people and not realize until after,, BUT thats only half and half!! some people i loved unconditionally and contine to love them and others set me back in the recovery process,,

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Begonias id assume? not only are hanahaki flowers supposed to represent your feelings, they should also represent the person. begonias are known for misfortune, dark/unpleasant thoughts, and caution to new situations. on the flip side, its harmonious communications, understanding, and gratitude.

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

hm. well, what about the urchin whos actually a prince? someone who originates from grand places, a great misfortune turns them into something undesirable and possibly bitter, and then when theyre brought back to the light of stability they provide for those who are in the same situation as he was

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit

im long range magic tactics and healing always bc im too afraid of conflict :pensive: but the closest thing would probably be something flexible but strong, in black and the more sensitive areas like the neck and thighs covered more carefully (read: shadowhunter gear)

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

change on an emotional and mental plane. they would sacrifice those who refuse to change for the better. i determine what is better, and if they choose the wrong person to sacrifice they would pay depending on why they attempted to sacrifice someone who didnt deserve it.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

“there is a difference between wisdom and intelligence... a person may have one without the other.” is an all time favorite from my favorite book The Soulforge by Margret Weis!!!!!!!

“plant your trees and watch them grow.” OUGH

 “There is a thin semantic line separating the weird and the beautiful. and that line is covered in jellyfish.” NIGHTVALE

“Ive been good sir / so very very good for what? / and ive given you / every single thing ive got / its feeling strange man / this whole arrangement / is gonna end with / me totally deranged” From Disobedient, from su:tm!!! it slaps man

“ What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? / What are you wondering? What do you know? / Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?” Ah. billie eilish ily

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Scythe! the weapon of fate and peace,, it is used to reap the souls of those deemed to die and its used for harvesting crops!! the end of all thngs, its a graceful and symbolical weapon.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Vaniila, star anise, and clary sage

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

leather bound books!!

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

a cyclone, probably. something threatening on the outside but extremely calm on the inside.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

amaryllis, which is splendid beauty and worth beyond beauty

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

cinnamon in tea!!!

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

apt in the city

14. curtains of beads or lace?

bead curtains!!! retro AND can be like “hoohoo welcome to my brewery pick your literal poison im a witch”

15. vocal or instrumental music?

yall know i could never pick,, music is too much of an intimate thing too be taken lightly (whch is one of the reasons i have a burning hatred for jokey nursery rhymes like baby shark)

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

SOBS okay so. ough it depends man. i rlly like the idea of like. ponchos and shawls n stuff,,, id prolly go for a witch in the woods ngl (the prince REPRESENTS me the best but. witch of the dark woods is my aesthetic) so prolly like a heavy green shawl over a black shirt and jeans and combat boots or smth,,, i WOULD have a flower crown of poisonous flowers, yes

Changeling or shapeshifter definitely!! to be able to constantly change form in super mecore

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

fruit preserves

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

you all knew it was gonna happen ( its a mountain laurel!! poisonous. of course)

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

my hair is WAY too short for that but i used to do it when i had longer hair and its a definite yay

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

an evening in the forest with elves or a morning in the garden with fae!! i cant decide man,,, if it had been a night in a victorian castle w vamps i wouldve been tied w that too but caves are a dwarven thing

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

hm. maybe like. a true self thing? where im forced to say what i mean, i cant say sorry for things im not sorry for, i have to say when things make me uncomfy, i just become less timid (the witch who cursed me got pissed off bc i said sorry too much and didnt answer questions properly)

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

talking with sylphs prolly??? i dunno man ive always loved sylphs ngl

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

def mint

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

what childhood lmao (honestly?? i loved reading the grim fairytales just over and over)

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

uhhh one time i was accused of witchcraft bc i was “guessing” peoples fav colours at a christian summer camp and our supervisors asked me to stop bc it was freaking them out bc im not christian (i had them close their eyes, think of their colour, and i would see it bc id close my eyes) OH also one time luke spoiled some pl stuff bc he was thinking abt the spoiler too loudly

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

oh healing def!! i already know a bunch of native poisonous plants so itll b fine

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

only two chances for everyone, and then i cut them off entirely

cringe culture is dead. the only cringy people are assholes

hurt luke youre dead

29. vials or mason jars?

no. no. you CANNOT make me pick. its illegal

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

uh! moss green, its a onepiece thats baggy and tied with a golden decorative rope at the waist and tightened at the ankles!! its loose at the sleeves and the shoulders are showing whereas the neck is turtled!! there are designs showing black mambas and lilies of the valley (poisonous...). the mask is black and covers my right eye, with subtle smooth scales on it.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

BOTH are p mean uh. i said sylphs earlier so ig ill go mermaids??? plus im afraid of heights

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

as the royal magician/wizard/witch/alchemist/magic jester? calling the royal family out on their bullshit

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

they would be black owls wings!!! (if you meant pixies, like tinkerbell, you shouldve said pixies fam :pensive:)

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

deaths cloak or a truth charm to get people to tell me, you guessed it, the truth

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

a song about grim ends ad new beginnings.

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

royalty! so i can fuck shit up from the inside

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

field of flowers or marketplace!! seeing the things people create and natural beauty and solitude are both wonderful

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

a modest one with a very dark palette, with my eyes painted a gleaming golden.

39. what skill are you famous for?

i talk rlly fast

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

im not sure,, 

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

FAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTS

[a-gay-little-ghost]

pls excuse the language in my previous rant post. im not sorry for what the general message at all tho if your anything like what i mentioned in it, get the fuck off this page and shut up. ppl are gonna attack me for being like "wE hAVe To fIgHt tO AsSeRT DOmInANcE aNd pRoTeCt oUrSeLvEs" ok what- number ONE: assert dominance against who- the other CHILDREN like me who literally did nothing to you? the fucking middle schoolers just trying to fucking live in 2022?! AND TWO, OK IF SOMEONE ATTACKS YOU OR IS BULLYING YOU GO THE HELL OFF, BUT IF THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU, THEN YOUR NOT PROTECTING YOURSELF WTF?! WHEN YOU GET Y O U R SHIT ROCKED JUST FOR WALKING DOWN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY, YOUR GONNA FUCKING CHANGE YOUR MIND ARENT YOU?! hell fucking no your not asserting dominance or any of that bullshit your just being an asshole. i dont give a fuck if your white,black,hispanic,etc or if they are, IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER, IF THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU THEN DONT GO FUCKING BULLYING THEM BC OF RACE,SEXUALITY,GENDER IDENTITY, OR WHATEVER YOU ARE, THIS GOES FOR ALL OF YALL

LIKE YALL ARE WHAT?! 12 AND 11 ACTING LIKE THIS FOR WHAT?! DO OU THINK IT MAKES YOU "COOL" OR "MATURE" THE ONLY THING YOUR DOING IS MAKING SURE THAT YOUR NEVER GONNA GET A JOB, NEVER GONNA MAKE REAL FRIENDS, NEVER GOING TO ACTALLY BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR ADULT LIFE WTF AND SOME OF YOU GIRLS ARE USING THEIR "Im AN InDePenDANT WOmAN #giRlBoSs" THE FUCK UR NOT BRO YOUR PUTTING DOWN OTHER PEOPLE THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A GIRL THATS JUST BEING AN ASS!! BEING AN INDEPENDANT WOMAN OR A GIRLBOSS OR BOTH THATS TOTALLY AWESOME I LOVE YALL BUT DONT USE THAT TO BE A BULLY TO OTHER KIDS, AND BOYS STOP GOING AROUND BEATING UP WOMEN AND GIRLS THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!HELL WHY ARE YALL FIGHTING ANYONE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?! D YOUR SCHOOL WORK BRO, GET AN EDUCATION DOING YOUR DUMB FIGHTING, FAKE FRIENDS SHIT ISNT HAT YOUR AT SCHOOL FOR, MY PARENTS USED TO SAY THAT ALL THE TIME AND I FINALLY REALIZE WHY LIKE YALL GONNA BE DUMB AS HELL WHEN YOUR OLDER AND THE ONLY THING YOULL ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO DO IS TALK SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE WHILE YOUR SITTING ON A SIDEWALK WITH YOUR FUCKING HELP SIGN. SERIOUSLY GROW UP ITS NOT FUNNY,QUIRKY, AND ITS DEF NOT COOL if yall have a valid reason for acting like this please let me know because its confusing the shit out of me.

[fmdxjerome]

hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment  with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego 

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo. 

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best”  years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff  👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow. 

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*  

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

[myapogee]

therapy is expensive but tumblr read mores are free. (not that i want anyone to therapy me, i just need to vent)

at dinner i was like very obviously Not Good so my mom asked me about it and i sorta hummed and hahhed until saying how i just really hate my job and wanna quit and later this month i’m gonna talk to my boss about that to see if we cant find a way to make me Hate My Job Less

and my sister came in at some point, missing part of the convo, and was like “well if you’re going to quit, you need to start looking for work before then” and my mom’s all like, “yeah put your resume on linked in or indeed, etc”

and like. i told them i wasnt gonna quit for awhile, i’ll just let my boss know i’m unhappy and have a few months to work thru it and try to get happier and if that fails THEN i will quit.

but the reason i said that is because i dont wanna tell them my real back up plan which is “actually i dont wanna live at all, so if i quit or get fired i’ll probably just kill myself” bc that is not good etiquette to mention at the dinner table

idk i feel like. like when i was younger i was at a point where i was like “i want to die, but so does everyone else, so i guess i’ll keep living because they somehow do”. and then i learned i was wrong so i went into “i want to want to live, so i’m gonna make the most of what i have, now that i know wanting to die isn’t normal”. 

and now im just. like. fucking exhausted from trying that hard. i want to die, and i recognize that a certain amount of other people do too, and many of those other people either Actually Just Die or they get help or something i dont fucking know how the other ones get thru that tbh bc if i did i wouldnt be where i am. 

what if i just. spent my week off from work putting all my things into boxes. like drawings that i dont want my family to see into the recycling or a box labeled “please burn this if you respected me at all”. put some women’s clothes into a box labeled “never been worn: donate to good will”. etc etc. and then just. i dont fucking know man. i googled some stuff about overdosing on pills and google was like “here’s the suicide prevention hotline number”. thanks google, ya mean well. 

everyday just kinda sucks. and then if one thing goes a little wrong i spend the remainder wanting to die. and there are good moments. there are funny youtube videos. there are good tv shows. there are games of cards against humanity with my family and of D&D type games with online friends. there’s stuff that brings me joy. but its like. guess its fucking selfish of me to say but it’s... not enough? 

the biggest thing is almost def my job. and if i enjoyed it more, things would probably be better. so i should quit and find a new one. thats just. easier said than done.i wish my job could go back to being what it used to be. but things changed like a year ago or maybe two years now idfk time is an illusion. and its just. been shit ever since. 

i’ve started learning portuguese more seriously. been doing the few minutes a day on a couple different apps. i think. my ideal existence. would be moving out to my grandmother’s home in portugal, living alone now that they’ve moved on. it’s lovely there year round, so i get my exercise walking to the lil convenience store, getting some things to eat and bake with, having bread delivered by the bread truck to my home every day. the house is paid for, so all i have are utilities and food. which i pay for thru commissions online. maybe some sore of artwork with the local people. there’s land, and anyone who wants it can do with it what they will but all i ask is if they grow any food i get a little now and then. i get to be a hermit, but i’ll help out my neighbors now and then, and i know they’ll help me too. it’s a community, but with its share of isolation, and without the obligations i feel here. i grow old, having lived my own life on my own time. eventually, i’m found dead there, by a curious neighbor who didn’t care quite enough to find me before it was too late. but it wasn’t suicide. just age and the problems that come with it. but i’ve lived with minimal capitalism, with few to no family or friends or pets. there’s solace, silence, and peace. i have lived life, and can leave it without worry.

... that wont happen though. as long as my parents are alive, i am bound to them, and if i did manage to leave this house and go anywhere at all never mind portugal i dont think i would be free of the worry over them. familial obligation, holidays, etc. i can’t live without worry while i’m avoiding them and feeling guilty about it. but i can’t live as myself without worry while i’m still shackled to them too. if i stay alive, i’ll be in limbo for years as they grow older and i need to help take care of them or find people/places that can take care of them for me but that i need to pay for. etc etc. there’s so much. responsibility in this world. that i never asked for. god i just wish i was never born, really. it’s amazing to me now that anyone can have kids. like raise orphans or whatever sure. but to actually birth a child into this existence, knowing how terrible the world is? why would you choose to put someone through that? why force them to experience this, it’s dreadful. 

this. okay that latest paragraph, i wanna be clear, i 100% am not ever gonna kill someone. like i’m not gonna hurt my parents so i can live free or whatever, and i’m not saying taking someone out of this life is better than bringing them into it, etc. i’m suicidal sure but i’m not a fucking asshole.

anyways.

pls don’t... fucking reply to this in any way or even acknowledge it. i know it all already okay? the pandemic has brought people down. capitalism brings people down. the fucking winter and its holidays bring people down. i know. 

its just. a painful cycle to be in. and i really think. there’s only one way to break it. and we’re all gonna die eventually so it’s just. how long do i have to feel like shit. before i’ve earned freedom from feeling anything at all. why push back the inevitable. when it would benefit me so much to fucking embrace it.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TEN

“One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me.” - jev

HOH: Brianna NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Nathan FINAL NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki EVICTED: Kiki (4-0)

JEV

I feel this could be the end for me this week, considering I named Brianna as renom last week and she has nominated me previously it's not looking good for me. However, last week after naming her renom, I did send her screenshots from Nathan of him throwing her and Aria under the bus to me just incase she stayed, so I purposefully threw him under the bus for this exact reason and I'm just hoping the move will pay off and there's even a slight chance she'll nominate him and keep me off the block. I'm also hoping she'll recognise that I didn't consider her as one of my initial noms and only named her as replacement because I was put into a shitty predicament last week by Nathan and his veto win, but who knows. I'm extremely proud of the game I've played but it'd suck to leave at F7 after getting this far.

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/z8bOEMq9gh8

ARIA

So....its been a bit huh,...sorry about that yall pls just take this anaylsis of everyone left k thanks <3

NATHAN

Looking at the whole of his game this man has been targeted since prejury yet his social connections and physical prowess has kept him safe this long- typically this would lend itself to a very strong underdog story but at the same time his attitude this game has been very rocky as he's threatened to quit or just give up multiple times before which may decrease the amount of respect the jury has for him. At this moment in time he can be categorized as a big player due to his numerous fights which could gain jury respect because it does show that he wants to play but im unsure if its enough. In terms of social connections he presents himself as having limited connections with others as he doesnt talk with kiki or jev but has a mutual understanding between him and joshua as they are both big threats/targets leading them to want to keep each other safe. This does bring up complications when trying to eliminate joshua from this game but thats for another analysis. He's constantly threatened the status quo of the house and if it wasn't for his attitude (and maybe the lack of connections to people like kiki and jev) he could be a shoe-in to win. It should also be considered that he has constant correspondence with emma and somewhat of a connections with bri. It should also be highlighted that hes very good at mending bridges considering hes working with someone he previously attempted to nominate (brianna) and had a fight with (joshua) Honestly he's playing a great game and the bitterness visible from kiki/jev does not reflect the jury- its more likely that he can beat me at the end. 

Leaving: f3/4/

Threat: Big/Physical

Winning Chance: 4/5

KIKI

So most players still left in the game perceive kiki to just be coasting along and honestly their win chances are minimal. I think their social game has been slacking as well as they're typically very hesitant to be honest with their game thoughts so they've failed to secure the connections that they need to get them to the end of this game. Their view on the game is also very confusing as they pretended to not know sides to me and no matter what the truth was it was a very bad look on their part. Also on a more personal note they showed that they're willing to snap as seen yesterday in bri's dms and in the live competition channel. In terms of this vote I have hardly any connection to them and if they won hoh next week i know that i would not be safe unlike jev who i've formed a more honest relationship with. I am slightly worried that im taking out someone with no win chance but my first priority will always be house dynamics and to appease the bb gods, they need to leave.

Leaving: f7

Threat: None, likeability

Winning chance: 1/5

JOSHUA

Literally just hand the kid the winning title and pots at this point his control over the game is incredible. He has deals and connections with EVERY single person in this game and I truly feel like he can make the end if we dont take him out here but I can't control nathan at this point. I think he's formed connections to me and nathan through all of us being "big threats" while he has connections to Jev/Emma/Kiki as they were all on the original side and he's somehow escaped the block on someones hoh who he previously put up...this guy is unstoppable wtf. However the entire game IS aware of his skill and its very likely that he gets taken out soon because of this unless he goes on a comp run. I also find it very likely that the jury is rooting for him as he remained respectful with every evictee and had justifications for every eviction beyond just house dynamics and his game has been straighforward with his noms and bold with his connections. Im unsure of how exactly to get rid of him but I believe he thinks we're close (f2 tingz) and I find it unlikely he takes me out although i think hes notices that ive been a bit more closed off this week which is worrying for future endeavors.

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Big/Phyiscal/Social

Winning Chance: 5/5!!!!

JEV

Out of everyone left I find it very difficult to think of how Jev is playing, I think he's either playing the most straight forward game I've ever seen or his game has a lot of hidden depths. I mean how I view his game as another player is that he came into this game very unconnected but managed to wiggle his way into stable sides and form good connections where they've kept him safe when possible. Once he gained a side he stuck to it and just played an overall loyal game minus the yelling at nathan when he lied to him. I dont think the jury is very bitter at him but I also don't believe that they're super high on him in comparison to people like joshua. In terms of our own connection I think I might be higher on his trust list due to me being very proactive about using veto on him and voting to keep him- i dont think ill be in danger if he wins hoh but nathan sure will :nicolequeen: There is a chance he can beat me at the end just due to not fucking over all of the jury but the chance we make f2 is very small, he represents the utr social player that joshua might be scared of winning 

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Balance/Middle

Winning Chance: 4/5

EMMA

Emma's game is very interesting because its similar to kiki in the fact that she's been coasting or just sticking to her side but she's aware of her flawed gameplay and wants to do better and make moves. However the end is closing end and I doubt she has the time to really make a move although she has been very smart about how she presents herself to others this entire game showing high sense of strategy. I think we're fairly close in a personal and game sense (unless shes just buttering me up for the slaughter as her own big move) so I would love to take her very far in this game. Im unsure of how the jury view her at this point in time but i cant imagine it being very high at this time unless shes manipulating things behind the scenes. At the end shes probably one of the only people I can beat because the jury might want a "big" player to win so she's def an ideal f2 choice at THIS time.

Leaving: f3/f2

Threat: Strategic

Winning Chance: 2/5

BRIANNA

First off I love her so much personally she's seriously the kindest person I've met and i absolutely adore her but also her game has been fairly impressive so far. Her actions have been the catalyst for sides to form and big moves being made- however i can say that I had a hand in a series of these moves but received no blowback (or recognition) for them yet and I'm unsure how the jury will view us as a duo or who can lay claim to the moves made. I think some of the jury may be bitter such as Josh c and Nick but at the same time she'll have fans such as joey and jacob so its a very mixed bad and I think we'll be trying for the same votes which is worrying. She's also fairly good at comps and socializing putting her on a similar stage as nathan and joshua although for some reason she never gets the credit :/ Im unsure whether I want her at the end or not but there is a possibility ill cut her...

Leaving: ???

Threat: Social/Comp

Winning: ???

And i think i dont stand a chance tbh, my jury management has been ass but im gonna do my best <3 also sorry if this was mean fsabhfds

JEV

So Brianna has let me know that she is more than likely going to put me up as one of her initial nominees, meaning I've had to plead my case to her and severely downplay my game thus far in the hopes that she'll hear me out and by some miracle will spare me from the block this week, I'll insert the plea I sent to her at the end of this DR. I just hope she realises that there are bigger fish to fry cough Nathan cough and maybe even Joshua, although I respect him as an ally too much to even consider throwing his name out to Brianna like that. Worst comes to worst I'll just have to gun super hard for veto and take myself down, then work out the play from there if one of the other hot girls are put up in my place, but I hope Brianna isn't dumb and recognises that there isn't a drop of loyalty inside of Nathan and that she'd be stupid to keep him around another week.

JEV

So I asked Joshua if he'd save me if he won the veto, and he straight up said he'd use it on Kiki because he'd "feel bad" since he used it on me the last time me and Kiki were on the block together. It's made me feel kinda shitty because it's kinda solidifying to me that he considers me at least 3rd in our alliance, and that he and Kiki are quite likely a duo together. I have to try my hardest for this veto because I for sure leave over Kiki or the renom.

JEV

So... there is a chance, albeit a slim chance, that Nathan may use the power of veto on me. I've tried to butter him up by playing up to his kind of wildcard playstyle by saying that nobody would see it coming and it'd be the gag to end all gags, but who knows what he might do. He said he's considering it and will keep me in the loop just so I know what to expect. If I stay on the block, I know I hopefully have Aria & Emma's votes to keep me on lock, which means I'd only have to convince Joshua or Nathan to keep me, OR sway Brianna to keep me in the event of a tie, which I think is the most unlikely of the 3. Prior to tonights veto, I would've thought I'd have Joshua's vote to stay, but now I think its clear that Kiki/Joshua are a duo and Me/Emma are a duo, so I don't think I'd be able to sway him to save me unfortunately. However the rest of this week plays out, I have a lot of ass kissing to do which I hate but hopefully I can work a miracle

JEV

So... considering Nathan has promised safety to me this week I didn't quite expect him to go off on me like that in his veto speech but... I'm just gonna take the high road and not even acknowledge the video in house chat, as much as it sucks I just have to let Kiki run their mouth so hopefully people remain inclined to keep them around over me.

JEV

One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me. As it stands, it should be 4-0 since all four of them have promised me their vote, but I'm lowkey suspicious about Nathan and Joshua, there's just something in the back of my mind telling me to be wary, I hope I'm just overthinking though

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29822U0WqVk&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=11&t=0s

[vampire-core]

kennith for the headcanon thing (i wanna know what you think about him too!)

since u didnt specify im gonna do both >:3c

also ty pal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

under the cut bc….. Logn,

1: Let’s do a weird headcanon thing

What they smell like

he prob smells like a mix of pot/cigarettes and perfume tbh??

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc)

he moves around a Lot and prob has occasional nightmares, +normally curls on his side or Sprawls the fuck out. has knocked steph off her bed in a few sleepovers. he goes to bed waaay too late and wakes up rlly late, or he just pulls allnighters

What music they enjoy

he DEF likes 60s/70s rock, and def psychadelic rock. +hed prob like marina and the diamonds and the mountain goats??? a mix of rock and weird indie shit

How much time they spend getting ready every morning

tbh i see him as either spendin a fair amount of time doin shit, like makin his hair look nice puttin on makeup etc, or running a hand through his hair, brushing his teeth, and Goin bc No Energy. gotta love mental illness! +he obv takes the time to put on his binder but

Their favorite thing to collect

tbh i can see him as collecting mechanical pencils??? like a SHITTON of different lead thicknesses (he prefers 0.5 prob), designs etc

Left or right-handed

ambidextrous, but leaning towards right-handed more

Religion (if any)

atheist!!! :00

Favorite sport

kennith fucken Hates sports but like. hockey isnt too bad in his opinion prob??? and plus hot dudes

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc)

i wanna say his fav thing to do is prob acting like an obnoxious tourist if that fits. his dream job is asshole and also he loves the glares he gets its fucken Hilarious. he prob would love checkin out cool buildings tho :00

Favorite kind of weather

he prob fucken LOVES rain like. its so peaceful and nice and he would die for puddle-jumping so

A weird/obscure fear they have

USING THE STOVE its prob an Anxiety thing and smth IM tryin 2 get over but like. kennith is a bad cook. the last time he tried anything he prov burned himself and the kitchen. he is fucken terrified bc he does NOT want to get scalded thanks

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail

those fucken racing games prob bc kennith is RUTHLESS. hes horrible at things that involve aiming tho pls dont ask him to throw anything accurately.

2: send me a character and i’ll tell you

sexual orientation headcanon

GAY gay as hell. also hella grey-aro

gender headcanon

TRANS BOY well transmasc genderfluid. mainly between guy/demiguy/agender im guessin?? and he uses he/they but not she use she and he’ll deck you or cry

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon

>:3c who said projecting furiously onto ones kintype? me

ok obv obv hes a depressed bpd socially anxious mess, but also i def see him w dpd/avpd and not just bc of me and my canon and i see him as hella adhd too???? and pprob an ed, +a dissociation thing?? and hes. def got some drug/alcohol abuse problems, tho if they could count as alcoholism/addiction is. questionable

most of this is furioius projecting and shit from my kin canon but

3 random headcanons

1: hes SUPER flexible, like foot-to-head flexible, and ALWAYS wins twister bc of this (dont play twister with him)

2: has a sister whos MUCH older and gave him his first cigarette. shes not a good influence but shes nice enough

3: Not Good parents. this is also projecting from my canon but??? he just. does not seem like the type of kid to come from a happy family

4: one more bc i like this one but e has a cat whos name is dick

[gayafbitvh]

all of the asks pls ily xx

1.Are looks important in a relationship? to some point, but they don’t hold that much meaning to me

2. Are relationships ever worth it? depends on what your partner wants too

3. Are you a virgin? no

4. Are you in a relationship? no

5. Are you in love? no

6. Are you single this year? so far, yes

7. Can you commit to one person? yes

8. Describe your crush.. a decent human being who talks to me and lets me be myself

9. Describe your perfect mate.. someone who allows me to be myself and doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable. someone who is loving and caring. 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? not love, no

11. Do you ever want to get married? i want to get married, but not until way later in my life

12. Do you forgive betrayal? for the most part, yes. 

13. Do you get jealous easily? yes and i hate it

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? not really 

15. Do you have any piercings? yes

16. Do you have any tattoos? yes

17. Do you like kissing in public? nah, not really

20. Do you shower every day? i try to 

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? i wish :)

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? i’m thinking about me rn, does that count?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? most def

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? heck no

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? if it happens, i wouldn’t be opposed to it

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? in a friend way, yes. i don’t know if anyone has ever said it in a romantic way tho 

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? a poem

28. Have you ever been cheated on? no

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? no

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? yes! my nose, butt and boobs

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yes most def

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? from my end, yes. from someone else’s end, maybe?? idk tho 

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? yes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? yes 

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? yes

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yes

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? nope

41. Have you had sex so far this year? no :(

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? oh god, not very long?? maybe like 20 mins max??

43. How long was your longest relationship? ummm, maybe like 9 months

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? all my relationships have been hella weird so maybe 4?

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011? i was in 8th grade i think, so 1???

46. How many times did you have sex last year? oh god, i was killing it lasy year, so idk.. a lot?

47. How old are you? 18

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? tell them to go for it if it’s what makes them happy!

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? i don’t have one of those :(

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? no, probably not

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? yes 

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? no, not really. i’ve grown apart from people who needed help, but i’ve never given up on anyone. umm, i think because i feel like no one deserves to be given up on. 

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? no i dont think so 

54. Is there someone you will never forget? yes, a few people

55. Share a relationship story. most of my relationships have been lowkey bc no one could know bc girl/girl relationships are vvv taboo where i’m from

56. State 8 facts about your body.. 1. i’m trying to love it more! 2. i have muscular legs 3. i hate my hands 4. i have super broad shoulders and i hate it 5. i’ve had my ears pierced like 239857 times 6. i wear a size 10 in shoe 7. im super pale 8. i have naturally brunette(ish) hair but i dye my hair blonde

57. Things you want to say to an ex.. not much, i don’t usually wanna talk to my ex’s

58. What are five ways to win your heart? 1. love me 2. hang out with me 3. cuddle if ur down with that 4. tell me if there is a problem 5. be my bff

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) hmmm, i gotta find a pic of me so i’ll do that later is someone reaaaallllyyy wants it

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 4 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? hands

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? support me 

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? uhh, that’s hard. it depends on the gender and the person tbh

64. What is your definition of cheating? having sex with someone else 

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? i don’t really have one

66. What is your favourite roleplay? i don’t really like roleplaying 

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? something chill, like going to get icecream and maybe going to a book store and sitting in the aisles and just showing each other books?? 

68. What is your sexual orientation? ive been trying to narrow that down more and more these past few weeks, but i’m bi with a preference of girls (hardcore preference) 

69. What turns you off? being a complete asshole to someone 

70. What turns you on? god, lots of things. 

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? i don’t remember

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? oooo, i think it depends on the person too

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? love me

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? shoes maybe (can that be superficial?) 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? my theatre group got me a present at the end of my fav show i’ve ever managed and it made me cry really hard 

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? i don’t know, tbh. i don’t feel like i’m that sweet of a person

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? they’re kinda weird when you’re in high school but once you’re out and mostly everyone is in their twenties, its super chill. 

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? hmmmm, i’m hella kinky

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? tonight, i hate how much my sisters get along and prefer their company to mine

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? like, friend love?? a few hours ago! but romantic love?? maybe a few months

81. Who are five people you find attractive? my whole fucking friend group is HOT!!!!! 

82. Who is the last person you hugged? my manager

83. Who was your first kiss with? my first “girlfriend” 

84. Why did your last relationship fail? because things got messy and everyone hated her in my friend group and she and i just didn’t mesh well i think 

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? depends