#'maybe you should examine why you-'

[branmer]

god fandom is not that deep and i wish people would stop pretending that it is and being weirdly judgy and ugly about what other people end up hyperfixating on. just get over yourself

[illgiveyouahint]

I'm catching up on the last 4 episodes of HOTE (I am always waiting for @isaksbestpillow's subs 'cause this story is too precious to have it be misinterpreted by bad Gaga subtitles).

I am so fascinated by both of the characters. They're so traumatized and yet there's this hint of hope that can be built upon. They're trying to find something healthy among all the cruelty of their life. Their relationship is at times incredibly toxic and yet it is the best thing that happened to either of them. They're so desperately trying to cling to the bit of good that's there. I do not know whether it will end well but I am fascinated by the characters and the story being constructed here.

[bottombaron]

there really does need to be a queer person in the writers' room on every show with queer characters, if only to explain how to better describe 'profound' relationships.

bc this happens all the time with showrunners fumbling for ways to describe a not-necessarily-sexually-prioritized relationship between same-sex characters

it's like somewhere in our evolution 'straight' men forgot that you can express your Profound Emotions with sex or other physical ways just to experience closeness and love.

like sexual attraction can evolve from profound emotions. they aren't inherently mutually exclusive. you can have two people who aren't initially attracted to each other and then over the course of knowing each other attraction blooms from simply caring for that person.

it's wild that ppl don't get that. is it a straight person thing? Do you have to be horny for a person from the go or it doesn't count?

like i'm absolutely serious, there needs to be studies on this phenomenon. there's something here in the miscommunication of what love can look like that is fucking fascinating.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[sadkachow]

You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still actively seeking out and using AI.

Once again.

You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still using generative AI, no matter the reason.

(Bold/italicized text: You cannot claim to be anti-AI while still using generative AI, no matter the reason.)

Even if you’re just using it to make fun of it or show how bad it is.

Even if it’s only for your personal use, and you don’t plan on sharing it with anyone.

Even if you’re “just” roleplaying on Character AI.

If you are willing to justify your usage of a system created and profiting off of stealing from artists and writers, a symstem that is destroying the Earth, then you were never as “against that system” as you think you were. Being anti-AI isn’t something that exists only in name. You can’t claim to be against AI if you are willing and able to use it as soon as it benefits you. You can’t say you’re for writers’ and artists’ rights if you’re using the very thing that is causing them harm. You can’t claim to care about climate change and saving the Earth if you are participating in the system that is destroying it.

There is no middle ground here.

There is no “Oh, but I-“.

If you have the knowledge of what generative AI is doing, of how it is hurting people, and you choose to use it anyway, you aren’t  against it. You aren’t fighting against that system, you’re upholding it.

You can say how much you hate AI and how horrible you think it is, if you choose to use it anyway, then your actions and your words are not lining up, and the former reveals so much more than the latter.

Stop pretending like AI is something you can condemn only in name, while using it to your heart’s content in your free time. All it does it tells writers and artists that you don’t really care about us, and that any actions you claim to be taking to protect us are performative at best and lies or even outright malicious at worst.

You are—and I mean this in the kindest way possible, even with the fury that generative AI invokes in me—a complete and utter hypocrite. AI is not your friend. It is a tool, and it is a tool that steals from writers and artists in order to function. It is a tool that is using levels of energy and emitting amounts of polution in order to be maintained that are actively damaging the Earth. No matter how much you try to justify using it to yourself, that doesn’t change.

Stop hiding under the guise of being anti-AI while continuing to use it yourself.

[hussyknee]

In one of the 647968 posts going "What You Like Says Nothing About You" (broadly agree) the first comment in the reply section was, "well I'm never going to apologize for being a Swiftie and a Reylo and Destiel shipper and Snape fan and loving ACOTAR and LOTR and Hamilton and B99" and I'm like, actually being this much of a pathological white liberal makes you the exception to this rule 😭😭

[rebellum]

Gently sitting down white trans people and explaining to them that no matter their gender most white trans people can and do use the "white woman's tears" tactic

[percysoddity]

oh mygod i'm seeing an uptick in ronance PLEASE keep it coming

[butchgrayson]

re lrb i hope u all know that butch he him dick grayson trutherism helped me realize that i liked using he/him pronouns for myself. his power.

[vacuumtan]

back to thinking about dgs and how 2-1 was a revelatory experience for me bc i spent the majority of the first game wondering why susato is generally well-adjusted but also a very specific kind of deranged, only to get hit with the fact that her dad, whom we hadn't seen much of until then, is pretty much the exact same way.

[wearetheunholyfamily]

afjsjfhkdbs just remembered the fucking humiliation of going around for years genuinely earnestly going

"Yeah I'm bi. if i see a handsome woman i collapse and require 48 hours to recover. and if i see a penis i want to fucking kill myself. haha women are gorgeous and men are so ugly and i wish i weren't attracted to 3 male celebs/fictional characters but that's bisexuality for you!"

narrator: that is in fact not bisexuality and is actually textbook lesbianism & comphet. are you stupid

[t4tpumpkinduo]

man.

[4giorno]

????? the way ppl were speaking made it seem like al haitham like. destroyed all kavehs belongings and spat in his face and maybe even killed him idk. just something way different and out of character than what he was already doing

[gregmarriage]

truly the thing i’ve realised with my writing is that i truly don’t give a shit, and by that i mean, i love writing so much, and all of my worries about mean comments or ppl not liking my stuff are usually unfounded, and i don’t wanna stop writing, just because of that, either way. like, that’s a you problem, not a me problem, babe x

[bunnyb34r]

Just word spilling here to get this out of my head

I was thinking lately yknow how people always say stuff like "oh I hate rap" or "anything but country" when music tastes get brought up

I have a theory that the reason why is in how/where they're exposed to said genre initially/most frequently

Like people who hate rap, maybe it's that they don't seek it out on their own bc they typically only ever hear it coming from someone's loud speakers (car speakers bass blasted, on the bus, at school) and they then associate the genre with "loud sound 'intruding' on my personal space"

Or maybe they have racist parental figures and THEY always sneered at rap music when they were a kid so they grew into young adults/adults who hate rap bc of the racial bias they were influenced by as a kid

And country maybe the ONLY times they hear it/ the only kind they get exposed to typically is the post 9/11 patriotic shit and that makes them uncomfortable/they dont like that shit (understandable) so they think aaalll country is that kind

I mean it all boils down to them needing to examine their racial bias that underlines their hate (since rap is a predominantly black genre and country was started by black singers) AND explore the genres to find something they do like and find what they appreciate in the genre based on that

I think this also applies to other commonly "hated" genres (but for the majority it IS mostly an underlying racial bias)

Anyway idk I'm just throwing this into the void so my brain shuts up

[justonefeather]

Sorry you can't actually expect me to think that you AREN'T a bigot if you have bigot friends. Like if your best friend wants trans people to die for existing, can you actually claim to care AT ALL about even ONE trans person? You don't by definition if you show love to someone who wants to harm them ??? lol ??? Why is this a difficult concept, if they say bigot shit and you do nothing then you aren't trustworthy or safe for trans people to be around, and you can't actually be upset when they point it out lmao