When Sam sent in Kaidan's recommendation to N-school, did he know Kaidan would turn it down?
Oooh, this is a REALLY good question.
I'm going to say he didn't, and Kaidan turning it down came as a surprise to him. Should he have known? Probably. But as intuitive and observant as Sam is, I think in this case, the N program is so integral to him, that he couldn't step outside himself enough to understand why Kaidan wouldn't want it.
From the beginning, the allure of Kaidan Alenko has been that he's hard for Sam to figure out. Sam likes puzzles, and Kaidan is one he never quite solves. People don't often surprise Sam. Every time Kaidan does surprise him, he becomes even more interesting.
So turning down the N program recommendation would have set Sam on his heels a little. He would have taken time to over analyze why, sit with it, and have a little moment of clarity over the ways he'd misunderstood Kaidan's experiences, or just not given enough consideration them. I very deliberately gave Kaidan and Sam very different experiences with developing and learning biotics. Their perspectives are VERY different, and Kaidan's reasons for not wanting to be an N would have helped Sam broaden his own understanding of how un-universal his own experience was. For all the things he knows about Kaidan and BAaT and Vyrnnus, this would have driven home a little harder the ways in which they shaped him.
Sam also would have marveled a little at the ways Kaidan is so relentlessly himself, and rigidly follows his own code.
Truthfully, that was probably a small but important moment in Sam's long, slow fall. The relief he would have felt, however, at Kaidan staying put on the 'Yang and remaining with the squad is something he would have carefully tucked away somewhere he didn't have to think about very hard.
Other people are puzzles, after all. Less fun when the puzzle is yourself. :)
23 notes
·
View notes
Who is the more well-adjusted twin; Damian, or Danyal? Why, it's Damian, of course!
And I have an explanation for this! But first I wanna preface this that this is just me like, rambling about this thought I have and it's not an attack on the trope as a whole. I love the Danyal Al Ghul au which is why i'm so deeply passionate about it, because I think it has a lot of potential to be explored. It's no secret that I've mentioned before that I think Danny's psychological development tends to get overlooked and underutilized in DAG aus, and the impact that growing up in an assassin league often goes ignored. This is just me further expanding on that.
Now lets set the stage! This is specifically for Danny who is adopted by the Fentons later down in life. Lets go twin au. At 10 years old, Damian goes to the Wayne Family, Danny is adopted by the Fentons (regardless of their affiliation with the League). By 14 years old, who ends up the better adjusted, more socially aware, spiritually in-tune with themselves, sibling? Why, Damian is! Why is that?
Because he has the actual support he needs compared to Danny. And I'm not talking about good or bad parents Fentons, because either way my opinion doesn't change. Damian would end up the better off twin, because, frankly, his family knows his background. They know he grew up in the League, they know what the League's teachings are, and they know he's a born and raised assassin. Knowing this, they can then help tackle and dismantle the teachings and lessons he has been given and ingrained into by the League. They may be a dysfunctional family, but they're functional enough to at least actively help deprogram all of the League's teachings that have been ingrained in Damian throughout his childhood.
Can't say the same for Danny.
Lets say Fentons here don't know his background -- and even if they do, the results may just stay the same if they play their cards wrong, -- Danny's now just been thrown into the deep end of a pool and is essentially being told sink or swim. Regardless of how he got there -- undercover, faked death, etc -- he has no proper support. He knows the League is meant to be secret, he's not gonna speak on it for various reasons. Whether it be some still lingering loyalty, fear of harm, or whatever. Whatever the reason is, he does not have a proper support system in the Fentons, no matter how nice they are. They can only tackle the surface level stuff and whatever Danny allows them to see -- if Danny ever lets them see it at all. For what do assassins do when they don't want to be caught? They hide. Sometimes in plain sight.
"But Jazz--" Jazz is a child. She is 2 years older than Danyal and no better at giving him a proper support system than the two adult Fenton parents, even with parentification. We don't know when she got into psychology or how long she'd been studying it by the time Danny's 14. We just know she's really into it. Even then, Jazz is not a licensed or reliable therapist, or even an experienced or implied good therapist, and should not be used as one either. It's a disservice to her character to reduce her down to 'supporting female emotional crutch'. Besides, therapy only works on people who want to get better. Danny, who'd be hiding who he really is, has very little incentive to want to, or to even think something is wrong with his way of thinking, even with exposure to the outside world.
When people's beliefs are outright challenged, they tend to double down on them, and Jazz canonically has a habit of psychoanalyzing her family and declaring what she thinks is the problem -- regardless of whether or not she's right about it. Jazz would get into psychology, try and psychoanalyze Danny, and all it would do is cause him to clam up, shut into himself further, and throw up even more walls so that she can't figure out that he has been lying this whole time. It would do more harm than good, and would actively hinder any progress he'd make in trying to open up to them. Roads and good intentions and all that.
That being said, I think Danny's development and dismantling of the League's teachings would be slower than Damian's. Much slower. Because he would be the one having to pick apart everything and figure out what is right, what is wrong, what he wants to keep, and what he wants to toss. Everything he unlearns would be stuff he has to unlearn himself. If he even gets to that point at all -- depending on his experiences, he very well could not change at all, or change very little. The League acts as a purge for humanity, meant to reign in their hubris and retain balance, they just also happen to be assassins for hire. Danny's time spent in Amity Park could as well strengthen his belief in their teachings just as much as it could weaken it, especially if it goes as canon and he gets bullied.
Regardless, being tossed to a civilian family as someone who is very much not a civilian, without any support, would be actively detrimental to Danny's overall mental health and development. Especially to strangers like the Fentons. Damian was closed off and standoffish even with blood family, and it took him time to open up to them -- Danny, with the Fentons, would be even more so. He doesn't know them, he doesn't trust them, he has no rhyme or reason to open up to them, and since the Fentons don't actually know him, they can't help him the way he needs. Once "Danny Fenton" is made, he has even less reason to open up. So long as Danyal allows it, they will only ever know Danny, and they'll never know Danyal.
TL:DR the Fentons aren't the better family option just because they're civilians, and actually that makes them the worser option between the two because they can't give Danny the proper support he needs. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
287 notes
·
View notes
I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...
Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
357 notes
·
View notes
I've got this image of Dad!Tsu’tey from my Father-son-shenanigans AU turning up in ATWOW during the aftermath of the SeaDragon, specifically on that one rock. And he has no idea how he ended up there, but whilst Jake and Neytiri are quaking at the sudden appearance of their dead friend (visibly aged from the joys of fatherhood), Spider pops out of the ocean.
Naturally, Tsu'tey only has eyes for his son, and immediately gets launched head first into Protective!Dad mode at the state of him. He looks like a drowned rat, has several sluggishly bleeding cuts along his body, his stripes are faded more than his Spider ever allows. Not to mention, his dreads are matted at the scalp and are in desperate need of a retwist. But most alarming of all, none of his other family members (The Sully's) seem to remember to check on him in their shock of discovering Tsu'tey's presence.
Since no one else seems to be bothering, Tsu'tey helps Spider out of the water, noting the shock on the boy's face as he hesitantly takes Tsu'tey's outstretched hand.
<"Are you okay?"> Tsu'tey asks, as he has done for countless years. And horrifyingly, instead of Spider replying with "yes Dad," or "no Dad" Tsu'tey gets a-
<"Yes sir.">
Spider has never referred to Tsu'tey as 'sir' before. It's either 'Olo'eyktan' when he's in a mood and wants to get under Tsu'tey's skin, or 'Dad'.
<"Sir?"> Tsu'tey repeats with a curl of his nose. <"Who the hell is sir? I am Dad to you. I have always been Dad to you.">
And of course, Tsu'tey is dead in this universe, and Spider has no clue who this strange forest na'vi is. Not to mention he's had a very long and emotional day surrounding another father figure.
<"Dude, I have no idea who you are.">
Cue:
Tsu'tey from my Dad!Tsu'tey AU looking at Spider in our ATWOW: "Watch out kid because you're about to get the strongest and most stable support system any clan has ever seen."
BONUS:
If Spider were to admit to Tsu'tey that Quaritch is alive (he's only known the man for an hour but Eywa does he trust him to keep Neytiri from mauling him):
Side Note: Tsu'tey has it all under control, and now has recruited Neytiri to go hunt down that dead beat dad.
256 notes
·
View notes
Hello azu, I have a question about the cover of your fancomic "Godfather"!
I like your comic, but I don't understand the symbolism of the mourning frame next to Shane, could you explain it to me?
I just think that the grief of losing his loved ones killed him too, if that makes sense.
Godfather comic
1K notes
·
View notes
Okay but Tommy drops out of high school — he told his father he was gay and he told him he could either be homeless or go to military school. He goes to military school and joins the army and he likes flying the helicopters because it means he doesn’t have to do any of the killing himself. And he makes some friends.
There's one guy who's like the squad leader who's a few years old and built like a Greek god and Tommy's young and a little bit in love. And they're friends maybe even family because this whole group of people spend every waking (and sleeping) moment together. And they all talk like a family and they all say they love each other and tease each other and it's nice. And one night it's just the two of them trading a flask of some sort of alcohol that Tommy doesn't know the name of and the man asks Tommy why he joined the army and where he wants to be in five years and Tommy trusts this man. He's half way in love with him so he doesn't even think twice before he tells the story about the time he came out to his family and his father nearly beat him to death before sending him here. And the conversation tapers off after that and he doesn’t register the change in the air but when he wakes up the next morning he’s being dishonourably discharged because he poses “unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability”. He knows what that means.
Tommy joins the fire department because he doesn’t know what else to do. He represses anything regarding his sexuality because he knows now that it’s wrong. He almost feels like he has a family again because his captain seems to like him and some of the guys are cool even if they say things he doesn’t agree with. And then he starts agreeing because maybe they’re right and he’s wrong and he’s just inherently wrong. So he follows their leads and is just straight racist because that’s how he can fit in.
And then a black lesbian woman joins and says she’s a black lesbian woman and Tommy doesn’t understand that either because you can’t be queer you just can’t be because it’s wrong.
But he nearly dies and and an Asian man saves his life and a black lesbian woman comes up with a better idea than any of them had and she tells them she’s no different and she is just as capable. So he improves himself he does and he tries to be better but he still can’t be who he is because the last 2 times he was honest about that he was betrayed.
Tommy leaves the 118 and “don’t ask, don’t tell” is lifted and he meets this guy he likes who likes him back and the 217 don’t seem to have a problem with the gender neutral pronouns and he slowly but surely lets himself open up again and be who he is and when the thing with that guy doesn’t work out because he’s moving to New York and Tommy’s not sure he’s ready to leave, it’s okay because his crew is there and they support him and he can still be himself.
113 notes
·
View notes
🖤💔BEST 🖤 ENEMIES 💔🖤
441 notes
·
View notes
is zedaph really about to get involved in a war? ZED??
494 notes
·
View notes
The crew make it back to England and a few months later, the admiralty host a social function and crozier is only going so he can check in with the men, see how they're recovering. And while he's there, he spots James. But as he approaches, he overhears him talking about this "beautiful and elegant creature" he has back home
And crozier thinks "ah, alas. He is straight. But I'm happy he found someone..."
Meanwhile James won't stop telling people about his cat. Also he's carrying the BIGGEST torch for his co-captain, who is tragically uninterested in men. Whacky shenanigans ensue
151 notes
·
View notes
at one point i didn't like caduceus' epilogue, that he just stayed home for a long time and eventually travelled again and eventually calliope joined him too. but i think actually i love it. something so gentle about him returning home to a temple that was once empty and lonely but is now healing and full of family who he loves so much. and to not have anything particularly asked of him apart from tending the garden and his small routines. especially thinking about how tired and sad he is by the end of the campaign, compared to the beginning when hes so giddy to just be interacting with people and seeing things he's never seen before and to have guidance from the wildmother. and then later, after aeor and so many more horrible things have happened, he admits to calliope that its too much and the outside world is scary and big and he's so so tired and he keeps saying how tired he is. so basically ideal ending that he gets to go home and get better and heal enough to be excited when he heads out into the world again
141 notes
·
View notes
"Ivan isn't loved by anyone-" You were fooled by his warped perspective.
132 notes
·
View notes
*sends them off to Unova for their umpteenth honeymoon in my school's clubhouse room*
153 notes
·
View notes
Something that will never not be funny to me is how Harlan writes dialogue for John and then realizes how fucking romantic it sounds so he has to follow up every interaction in which he talk to anyone ABOUT Arthur with a “friend” at the end lmao.
“My king, I respect the affection and care you bestow upon your very dear FRIEND”
“He’s meat”
“Yeas but he’s my meat- MY FRIEND”
“Why does he chose you and not me?”
“Because I love him.
And he loves me. That’s FRIENDSHIP”
Sir, just stop.
Are you doing this to mess with us or are you doing this to yourself and we are all just going along with it for the feels?
(And, just to clarify, this is not a “they are clearly in love with each other” post, but me saying that (whether read as platonic or romantic) it felt like Harlan realizing how beautifully he wrote a piece of dialogue and then having to throw 3 “friends” for good measure in the next sentence, lest the fandom bursts into flames. And that’s seemed a little funny to me)
56 notes
·
View notes