#'she's an idiot she won't be able to read it it will be hilarious'

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

Breaking down the comics: Sun in eyes

BONUS COMIC REVIEW: 

Issue 17 mini comic: Marc Spector - The Worship of False Idols

You guys. You guys have no idea. This is it. This is the reason I fell utterly in love with Moon Knight. I'm so excited.

When I found Moon Knight (I'll get to that discovery in a later review) I just had to know who he was. I stayed up all night downloading and reading everything. 

When I got to this piece it must have been 3am and this is what made me obsessed. 

What's hilarious is that this mini comic comes at the end of a really dramatic Marc Spector heavy issue in which he's dark and angsty and violent. 

And then...You get this. This delightful idiot man that's just doing his best. 

Let's get into it! 

I wonder if this image of Marc might be what inspired Doctor Grant from the show. 

We open with Marc holding a machete and making his way through a jungle in South America. 

Narration: Long before there was a Moon Knight, there was Marc Spector. Though he wore but a single name, he operated under many guises... Soldier of fortune, treasure seeker, courier, mercenary, were a few of those guises. 

He was a man whom Moon Knight can now look back on with only slender pride - A strong man, yes, and thoroughly determined, but often a ruthless man, one who braved danger only for money. This is one of his stories." 

Such lovely narration. Painting a picture of a gruff killer for hire out for a buck and not afraid to get dirty for it. 

We see him hacking his way through a jungle and complaining the whole time. 

"Must've hacked my way through thirty miles of this green hell..." 

He had previously met with a drunken archeologist (probably at a bar) who told him about a beautiful ugly idol made of solid gold. 

He finds a clearing and there sits the idol 

He doesn't find this suspicious at all. 

There's going to be a lot of screenshots in this review. 

(flat in the dirt again.) 

The dog apparently belongs to an archeologist nearby. His wife comes out of the tent, remarking that he's probably out drinking again. (Marc's info source). 

She looks around and notices the Idol is missing. She shrugs and goes back to the tent. 

She has a busy day tomorrow if she's to keep looking for a big discovery that she thinks is very near. 

Marc wakes in a dark underground cavern. 

Now we get to watch this poor man try to think this through. 

"But I can't carry any more than I've already got.

Maybe I should substitute-take something else-something better...

No-The archaeologist in the bar said this idol is the choice one--the one that'll command the highest price from collectors and museums--worth far more than its weight in gold.

But if I leave now, I'll never find this place again. Not before those archaeologists do--and by then they'll have armed guards swarming this place... 

Got to decide now-cuz I won't be able to change my mind later..." 

Marc decides to keep the one he already has. 

He follows a draft and finds himself in a bat cave with Guano up to his calves. 

Oh Marc…Oh no…

Oh no.

Oh no

Marc no…

Marc no…stop…

Buddy…pal….Beloved hero of my heart…

I mean…He saves them. Marc isn’t as heartless as he thinks he is. Just cause he’s having a bad day doesn’t mean they have to have one too. 

And now… I give you my hero. The light of my life. My obsession. My sweet cheese. My good time boy.

Damn Marc, that’s a nice leg. 

Marc makes it back to the town. 

He staggers towards where he's staying, looking forwards to a week in bed and then cashing in his idol for the sweet sweet dough (get that bread Marc). 

Suddenly, his thoughts of rest are interrupted by someone shouting "Three Dollars American!" 

He looks over to see the archeologist and his wife talking. 

She admonishes him for taking so long to get back to the newly discovered temple....then asks him why he keeps guying the cheap plaster idols. 

Marc looks over to a stand with a man selling "Genuine Inca idols straight from the temple of the sun!"

This is Marc Spector everyone. Mercenary dark and tormented and angry and violent killing machine Marc Spector. 

The man that can’t forgive himself and that no one loves easily. A man that is hated and feared. 

I don’t read Moon Knight for the dark action. I read Moon Knight for moments like this. 

This is what made me fall in love. Not the white cape, the mental health, the DID, the religiously tortured soul, the hero that needs saving…

This man that is having the worst time and still he stumbles into the sunset because DAMN IT he worked hard to get there and he’s going to get something out of it… But at the end of the day, he’s no further along than the rest of us. 

He probably had a drink and went to bed after this. Maybe laughing to himself. Maybe laughing about all the close calls. Maybe crying a little. 

But he didn’t go back to rob the excavation site. He said “Not today. Not this time.” and went on with his life. 

And he told no one of this, because he’s Marc fucking Spector and he has a reputation. 

So I leave you with this. The best image of Marc Spector I’ve ever seen. The true meaning and mood of Moon Knight I’ve ever seen. 

This pretty much just sums up his life: 

(And somewhere, Khonshu looked at this mess and said “That’s the one. That’s the one for me. My son!”)

[autismmydearwatson]

My eighth fucking attempt at posting my highlights reel of Thrawn

A great tactician creates plans. A good tactician recognizes the soundness of a plan presented to him. A fair tactician must see the plan succeed before offering approval.

Those with no tactical ability at all may never understand or accept it.

Nor will such people understand or accept the tactician. To those without that ability, those who possess it are a mystery.

And when a mind is too deficient in understanding, the resulting gap is often filled with resentment.

"I'm like dropping hints that I think my boss is a fucking idiot. Anyway Rossi if you're out there--"

Eli winced. In general, not shooting a civilian population was a perfectly sensible approach to combat. More sensible, in fact, than he would have expected from a lot of Imperial officers.

THIS IS SO FUNNY I need a Live Eli Reaction to Thrawn bombing Lothal.

There are things in the universe that are simply and purely evil. A warrior does not seek to understand them, or to compromise with them. He seeks only to obliterate them.

THE HYPOCRISY. THE HUBRIS. MY BROTHER IN THE FORCE YOU ARE WORKING FOR AND COMPROMISING WITH THE EVIL

"Why do you seek high rank?"

It was a question many had asked over the years. Thrawn had asked it of himself. The answer never seemed to satisfy the questioner. "Because there are problems that must be solved. Some cannot be solved by anyone except me."

"I see." Vanto was silent a moment. "Senior Lieutenant Hammerly was able to stall them for a bit by telling them you were consulting with the local chief. But they expect you to call back."

"Of course." Thrawn said. "I will do so immediately."

"What will you tell them?"

"The truth."

Vanto had now asked the question. He was no more satisfied than anyone who had come before him.

Thrawn wondered if anyone would ever be satisfied. Or if they would ever understand.

There's so much going on here. The HUBRIS. THE WAR DOG COMPLEX. "Some cannot be solved by anyone except me" THE AUTISM. Important context: this happens after Thrawn burns down civilian farmland.

"I'm Arihnda Pryce. You probably won't remember, but we met once at an Ascension Week reception in the Alisandre Hotel, back when you were a senior lieutenant."

The fact that Arihnda and Thrawn keep inevitably coincidentally crossing paths in the 2017 book is hilarious. The Force is conspiring to draw them together through the machinations of the universe across time and space just so she can piss him off in Rebels season 4 by blowing his entire TIE Defender project to fucking smithereens the moment his back is turned

"But it does not matter. However these beings were pressed into service, they are now Imperial assets. They will be treated as such."

LIVE ME REACTION WHAT THE FUCKK😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧

Through the west-facing window, the sun was beginning to set.

For a moment she watched, thinking back to the evening when her mother was arrested and their lives changed forever. At the time she'd thought how the people in big cities probably never saw the horizon or the sunset, and had wondered if they ever thought about such things. Or whether they even cared.

Arihnda had lived on Coruscant, in the galaxys ultimate big city.

And as she gazed out the window, she realized that she really didn't care.

Oogh. No thoughts, just. OOOOOOUUUUUUUGGGGHHHH

"I have read about the nightswan," Thrawn called after him. "Have you?"

Nightswan turns partially back. His face is obscured by shadow. His body stance again holds weariness, along with a quiet dread. "You refer to the fact that it sings only as night is falling?"

"Yes," Thrawn said. "You do not expect your stand to succeed, do you?"

"I know that it won't succeed." Nightswan said.

"That does not necessarily mean the end. I can give orders for you to be taken unharmed."

"They'll be ignored. Half the troops here are Batonn Defense, and Restos is determined to get rid of me."

"Then come with me now."

"A man must do what he must, Admiral Thrawn. Even if his stand is against the fall of eternal night."

HUARGHH. JUST. NIGHTSWAN. NIGHTSWAN SAVE ME NIGHTSWAN. GODDAMN. HE KNOWS HES DOOMED, HE KNOWS HE WONT SURVIVE THIS STORY, FOR ALL HIS GENIUS HE IS STILL A DESPERATE MAN. EVEN IF HIS STAND IS AGAINST THE FALL OF ETERNAL NIGHT AUGH

"Your report, Colonel, said his death was confirmed?"

"Yes, sir." Yularen said, "His body was found and identified in one of the outer areas, where the damage was less severe. He was probably checking on the perimeter." He hesitated. "Possibly preparing to stand alongside the defenders there."

"Yes." Thrawn said.

And so it was over. The path had ended. The pattern was broken.

The song of the Nightswan was silence. The galaxy would be the worse for its loss.

NOOOOOOOOOOO. FUCK. NIGHTSWAN WAS MY FAVORITE AND PROBABLY THE ONLY CHARACTER WITH A REAL MORAL COMPASS. FUCK. RIP NIGHTSWAN YOU SERVED SO MUCH CUNT THE EMPIRE HAD TO GET YOU KILLED BEFORE THE REBELLION COULD BE PUT TOGETHER

It is said that one should keep ones allies within view, and ones enemies within reach.

A valid statement. One must be able to read an allys strengths, so as to determine how best to use him. One must similarly be able to read an enemy's weaknesses, so as to determine how best to defeat him.

But what of friends?

There is no accepted answer, perhaps because true friendship is so exceedingly rare. But I have formulated my own.

A friend need not be kept either within sight or within reach. A friend must be allowed the freedom to find and follow his own path.

If one is fortunate, those paths will for a time join. But if the paths separate, it is comforting to know that a friend still graces the universe with his skills, and his viewpoint, and his presence.

For if one is remembered by a friend, one is never truly gone.

I'm not one to claim Zahn is a master of prose but holy shit. Holy shit the final journal opening of the epilogue is pure art. He really put his whole Zahnussy into half a page of morally bankrupt Grand Admiral Thrawn (who uses lethal force against teenagers and commits so many war crimes he even pisses off Palpatine and can't understand the nuances of social interaction) talking about the value of having a real friend. Every lacking opportunity for poetics was given to the epilogue. Kinda. "When one is remembered by a friend, one is never truly gone" kinda. The platonic aspect of Thrawn and Elis bond is so deep and far-reaching that he's going to be HONEST about it for once?? For all how he loves Eli he also values him just for being there??? I'm gonf throw up. Imagine having a friend so dear to you that it forces you to be honest about it

[deadpresidents]

I don't read a ton of books about science or scientists, but Katie Spalding's book, Edison's Ghosts: The Untold Weirdness of History's Greatest Geniuses (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO), which was released in May, is easily one of the most entertaining books I've read in the past couple of years.

When you're sitting down to read a book by someone with a PhD in mathematics, you don't expect it to be fun from cover-to-cover, let alone flat-out funny. In fact -- and I know that the fine folks at Hachette won't be able to use this in a blurb -- but Dr. Spalding's book is fucking hilarious! And that description is especially fitting because Katie Spalding had to have set some sort of record for creative profanity in a book primarily about science and scientists, an achievement that only makes Edison's Ghosts more entertaining by the chapter.

Speaking of chapters, I can't do justice to Dr. Spalding or Edison's Ghosts -- which was published in Harding's native UK under the even better title of The Limits of Genius: How Some of the World's Greatest Minds Were Surprisingly Stupid -- with a couple of quick paragraphs, so I'm just going to share some of the actual titles of the chapters of the book from the table of contents so you can get a hint of how amazing this book truly is:

1. The Mathematical Cult Leader Pythagoras, and His Incredibly Stupid Death 2. Confucius Was an Ugly Nerd with Low Self-Esteem 3. Never, Ever Hire Leonardo da Vinci 4. Galileo Utterly Fails to Read the Room 6. When René Descartes Got Baked 10. Émilie du Châtelet Cares Not for Your Social Mores, and She Will Fight You in Her Underwear to Prove It 13. Lord Byron, the Patron Saint of Fuckboys 16. John Couch Adams Ignores His Mail, Loses Neptune 18. Charles Darwin: Glutton; Worm Dad; Murderer? 20. Sigmund Freud Used Cocaine So Much He Thought Numbers Wanted to Kill Him 21. Arthur Conan Doyle Gets Pranked So Hard He Claims Fairies Exist 23. Real-Life Supervillain Nikola Tesla Takes the Term 'Pigeon Fancying' a Bit Too Literally 24. Marie Curie Defies All the Odds to Accidentally Poison Both Herself and Thousands of Strangers 25. Albert Einstein: Public Nuisance, Love Rat 29. Yukio Mishima and the Shortest, Gayest Fascist Coup in History 30. NASA Forgets about Women, Toilets and the Metric System

And those are just SOME of the actual chapter titles. If you don't want to read Edison's Ghosts: The Untold Weirdness of History's Greatest Geniuses after that taste, you're as big of an idiot as many of history's geniuses, as Katie Spalding so colorfully reveals in this brilliant book, available now from Hachette Book Group's Little, Brown and Company

[randomnameless]

Here's a thing, even if Supreme Leader was trying to dismantle some corrupted system, she should do it in her own country, not conquer two sovereign countries over the pretense of "well they used to be part of Adrestia so they belong to me". I swear this game brainwashed people into thinking imperialism is okay after years of basically saying "no, it's not".

Given how Ionius was yeeted away from Nopes, I don't even know if we're supposed to look at Adrestia's own corruption - even if Adrestian NPCs are Supremely Aware and we have instances of Adrestia's finest Double Standard and we have the hilarious Ferdie line about the Kingdom having much more crested soldiers and generals than the Empire, when just checking the data of the game through all routes reveals it's much more nuanced than that!

(but how much of theDouble Standard is just Adrestia being Adrestia or those randoms being educated thanks to the propa- I mean the "information campaign" machine, idk).

At the end of the day it's not the premise of having a revanchist invasion by an Empire that, imo, really bothers in Nopes, but it's how this "campaign" is played completely straight, and everyone, even on the opposite sides, just passively accepts it, pushing everything under the rug because "IdEaLs" and "ReFoRmS" - and that's what some people said about the game wanting to sound "smart", we read and hear about those complex notions - reforms, nobility, systems, etc etc - but they are never developped.

Heck, Ferdie is the one who pushes the idea of "Imperial Schools" were randoms, regardless of their backgrounds, would be able to sit for imperial exams and become imperial civil servants, but without even making RL parallels and how the RL system was (or still is in some countries!) completely corrupt, there's no dissident voice, or anyone going all "yes sure, but what good would it be to be able to go to school if you are starving because no one is left make sure basic needs are provided and satisfied?".

That's what some people meant by the tech tree and the reasoning, I suppose, watsonian wise, behind the "ban" of the printing press - what would be its use if a majority of your people are illiterate because they cannot "waste" time going to school and have to work on the fields instead to make ends meet or just to have something to eat?

It's not something you can ignore when you talk about societal changes, but the game hammers "ReFoRmS" and "IdEaLs" while the rest of the cast holds the idiot ball to make the story believable, because no amount of "no u" could save it otherwise.

And I'd say it's the same for the imperialism depicted in Nopes and FE16, even during that sorry excuse of a parley, there's no real answer to "why the eff are you forcing my people to follow your reforms, can't you just reform your country?", we derail instead to "wow ur strong" "no i was weak" "okay we won't see eye to eye let's fight then" "okay".

[britts-galaxy-brain]

Idiots googled brittany anne johnson restraining order saw the Brittany Johnson (Lovely Peaches) link and creamed themselves without reading it. Hilarious. Also curious, the only way to find your profile on facebook is to search up Courtney then you show up in comments.

She could've seen any court case with my name in it and assumed it was me without checking further. There's a few of them spanning several years, none of which are me.

And yeah exactly. I'm not searchable on fb unless you know me because there's so many Brittany Johnsons. If I add someone on there, I have to let the person know I have to send them the request because they won't be able to find me.

Or unless you're Lily spying on me with an alt in a desperate attempt to find any dirt on me that's even close to as bad as the shit she's done.

[reel-fear]

Love as a construct rambling below bc Im thinking so fucking hard abt it rn

one of my favorite bits ever since I read the fic as a kid who has just played portal 2 in elementry [yes I've loved it for that long, I still remember looking up GLaDOS x Wheately on my first shitty little windows computer when I stumbled upon it haha and man did I love it] was the one where Rick shows up, both bc its hilarious and very fun but also because it's just... It's such a delight. Everything about it. I've got so many lines from this fic outright memorized bc of how often I read it. If all fics were suddenly wiped one day this is the fic I would desperately try to keep archived no matter what.

ANYWAYS THO THE RICK CHAPTERS, not only hilarious but a great dissection of Wheatley's character and his true love for GLaDOS. The way his character contrasts with Rick is soooo well explored and in mere words is put out so plainly and well in character. Having Rick go full out Alpha Male Podcaster in this chapter was a great way to show just how well intentioned Wheatley always is. Rick speaks of trying to bed GLaDOS and who Wheatley is a little idiot who will never Get anything out of his relationship with her leaves Wheately baffled and confused. Because he's not in this relationship to try and wrangle something out of GLaDOS, Rick is projecting and Wheatley can't even seem to understand how or why Rick would view GLaDOS almost like an object for him to own.

It baffles and terrifies him. How could someone ever view the amazing, complex, powerful and beautiful GLaDOS like that? The way he starts to view Rick for the weirdo hunter/predator he is also shows Wheatley's intelligence, which is ironic but regardless. He might be stupid but he knows GLaDOS deserves better than that and that the way Rick thinks of and talks about her is demeaning.

But specifically these lines in particular.

everything about it potrays Wheatley so in character, the way his thoughts are so scattered, he gets off topic so quickly in a way that only makes sense in his brain. Me and Roddy have talked at length about how in this fic GLaDOS and Wheatley easily potray neurodivergence and Wheatley in particular has a very frantic fast and panicked mind. He screams ADHD or Autism mixed with an anxiety disorder to me. The way he thinks, the way he tries to talk it reminds me a lot of myself. Even if generally I find GLaDOS the most relatable character here.

Hell Wheatley after this thinks of how strange it would sound to tell GLaDOS he was visualizing her as a butterfly. Her brain just doesn't work the same way his does.

Not to mention it shows one of the best things about Wheatley's inner conflict here, how does he protect someone he views as so much more powerful than he is? He can't just disregard the idea of protecting her. Even if it doesn't make sense logically. He wants to protect her more than anything in the world, she might not need that protecting, he might not be able to do it, but those facts don't matter to him. His love for GLaDOS overpowers everything.

When Rick implies GLaDOS made a mistake Wheatley tells him bluntly GLaDOS Doesn't make mistakes, even when she herself has admitted it to him that she's not perfect. Wheatley just thinks the world of her and while Rick passively demeans her Wheatley sings her praises.

When Rick shoves him his instinct is to shove back but his second thought, what would GLaDOS want? This is the thing that makes Wheatley not like Rick, even in this part where Wheatley can be read as somewhat protective and possessive, this thought in particular shuts down the idea Wheatley would ever let such things overide GLaDOS' desires. He wants to protect her and keep her close to him, that's his first thought but his second? What does She want? What would She do?

THIS, is what makes Wheatley different than Rick. Wheatley doesn't want to warn GLaDOS about Rick so she won't hang out with other men or so she won't fall in love with them. He doesn't want her to do those things of course, but most of all he wants her to be able to make an informed decision about what she is doing. If Rick and her did get together, he wanted there to be no deception, no tricks or manipulation. That's what he wants for GLaDOS that's how he protects her.

It's not about keeping her to himself, it's about knowing if he lets go... She'll still be okay and happy.

[koisurufortunecephalopod]

Team 8 3rd Anniversary Book

Team 8 Anything Ranking

Announcing the best three for each category!

The 47 members of Team 8 answered a ten question survey. For each question, we’ll announce the best three!

Because the results were collected directly from the members, we have some surprising and interesting results

What member is the best dancer?

1. (26 votes) Yokoyama Yui -She has a really unique dance style that’s sort of loose just like her accent, it makes me want to see more sides of Yokoyui. (Shitao Miu) -She’s always improving in a way where she moves totally different from everyone else. (Yamada Nanami) -Her dancing is always neat and never half-hearted. I kind of wonder how her body works (Fukuchi Rena)

2. (4 votes) Yamada Nanami -Each time I see her dance, she gets cooler. (Yokomichi Yuri) -Her dancing has gotten neater and neater. (Abe Mei) -Her dancing is really cool and her expressions are great. (Sato Nanami)

3. (3 votes) Hamamatsu Riona -Her movements are great, she can dance well to cool songs and cute songs. (Honda Hitomi) -She’s very cool but can also do cute dances. (Tanikawa Hijiri)

If you were a boy, what member would you want to date?

1. (6 votes) Takahashi Ayane -She’s easy to talk with. She’s absolutely adorable. (Takaoka Kaoru) -Cute!! So cute!! (Fukuchi Rena) -I want to protect her… (Mogi Kasumi) -She’s cute, but especially has this big sisterly feel to her. I LOVE that part of her. (Oda Erina)

2. (5 votes) Tanikawa Hijiri -She makes you want to protect her (Sakaguchi Nagisa -I love everything about her. (Hitomi Kotone) -She’s kind of air-headed, but she’s absolutely adorable!! Such a beauty… (lol) (Kuranoo Narumi)

3. (4 votes) Mogi Kasumi -She smells good, and her clothes are always cute. (Hirose Natsuki) -She’s always so beautiful and kind. (Hashimoto Haruna)

If you were reborn, what member would you want to be?

1. (8 votes) Chou Kurena -Because she’s beautiful (Yoshida Karen) -Her style is good, she’s can play the guitar, I want to be like her. (Hirano Hikaru) -I wish I could have a face and style like hers. (Tanikawa Hijiri) -Her face is really cute, and her legs are long. (Sakaguchi Nagisa)

2. (5 votes) Oguri Yui -She’s cute. Slender. She doesn’t forget to put in effort, I’ve really respected her for a while. (Shimoaoki Karin) She’s too cute, and her style is perfect. (Fukuchi Rena)

3. (4 votes) Tanikawa Hijiri -If I were Hijirin I could get any guy probably. (Miyazato Rira) -Because she’s my type. (Onishi Momoka) -Because she’s beautiful. (Hitomi Kotone) -She’s so pretty that I really respect that sort of girl. (Hidaritomo Ayaka)

The member who has changed the most this year?

1. (11 votes) Utada Hatsuka -She’s put in a lot of effort, her dance skills have improved a lot. (Onishi Momoka) -This kid is more amazing than words can describe. She still has a lot of hidden talent. (Yokomichi Yuri)

2. (6 votes) Onishi Momoka -Broadcasting on SHOWROOM every day at 5:30 is amazing. And she’s seeing the results of that. (Hirose Natsuki) -She’s put in so much effort, so it’s great she’s seeing the results of that. (Shimoaoki Karin)

3. (5 votes) Abe Mei -She got so pretty. (Takaoka Kaoru) -She got so much prettier. (Ota Nao) -She got way too pretty… it makes me excited. (Yaguchi Moka)

What member is the best singer?

1. (38 votes) Oda Erina -She won the Diva Championship, and I love her singing voice over anyone else’s. (Ota Nao) -Her voice really resounds in your heart. (Yokomichi Yuri) -Her singing voice is really stable, whenever I listen to her I always clap along without noticing. (Shitao Miu)

2. (All other ranks were tied with one vote each)

What member is the smartest?

1. (9 votes) Hashimoto Haruna -When you talk to her, you can tell that she thinks really quickly. I want to become her apprentice… (Takahashi Ayane) -She always carries around studying materials and if there’s any free time she’ll start doing practice problems. (Yokomichi Yuri) -She taught me how to do my math homework. (Honda Hitomi)

2. (6 votes) Sato Shiori -She knows a ton of trivia. She told me all about the dangers that come from stopping a sneeze. (Utada Hatsuka) -She knows a ton of things that not many people know. (Hidaritomo Ayaka)

3. (5 votes) Okabe Rin -You kind of get the feeling that she knows everything. (Shimizu Maria) -She can think quickly during MCs. (Gyouten Yurina)

What member is the funniest in the dressing room?

1. (7 votes) Yoshikawa Nanase - She does impressions of Beyonce dances (I call it “Nanase Dancing”), it’s really funny. (Hama Sayuna) -She’s always dancing in the dressing room to get everyone excited. (Fukuchi Rena)

2. (6 votes) Oda Erina -She’s funny on variety shows, but she’s funnier in the dressing room. OdaEri talk? I really love seeing it. (Kuranoo Narumi) -She’s always doing silly things, and it’s really funny. (Yoshikawa Nanase)

3. (5 votes) Hama Sayuna -She’s always so energetic. (Sato Akari) -Number one kid, she’s too cute. (Yokoyama Yui (Team 8)) -She’s funny but also so loud, but she makes everyone laugh. (Shimizu Maria)

3. (5 votes) Hidaritomo Ayaka -Her funny faces and movements are so different, she always makes my abs hurt from laughing so much. (Yokomichi Yuri) -She just suddenly starts making weird movements right in front of us (Honda Hitomi) -Her funny faces that are so different from how different from always just makes me laugh. (Sato Shiori)

What member hates to lose the most?

1. (20 votes) Kuranoo Narumi -She’s one of the more inexperienced dancers, but despite this she got into the training camp senbatsu two years in a row. (Yoshida Karen) -She always has a strong feeling to her. (Ota Nao) -She always does everything with her full power. (Tanikawa Hijiri)

2. (4 votes) Nakano Ikumi -She’s always doing her best in lessons so she can do the very best on stage. (Yokomichi Yuri) -She will use MCs to both get people excited and appeal herself (Hitomi Kotone)

3. (All other ranks were tied with two votes each)

Member you want to have more fans. Please look at her!

1. (5 votes) Utada Hatsuka -She’s always an oddball but she’s very funny. (Shimoaoki Karin) -She’s really funny to talk to! (Oguri Yui) -Her funny faces are cute. (Hirano Hikaru) -Her funny faces are her specialty. But her dancing is also really good. (Terada Misaki)

2. (4 votes) Hidaritomo Ayaka -She can do impressions and funny faces. (Gyouten Yurina) -She’s pretty and mature, but is also really good at funny impressions. (Terada MisakI) -She’s really funny. It’s sort of sad she doesn’t show that side in front of fans. (Yokoyama Yui (Team 8))

3. (3 votes) Takaoka Kaoru -She has such a teasing character in the dressing rooms. (Oda Erina) -Sometimes she can really have a poisonous tongue. (Yoshida Karen) -Her energy is seriously bad. She’s always energetic. (Utada Hatsuka)

Who is the dumbest member?

1. (21 votes) Hattori Yuna -She’s dumb but also funny. Everyday with her is really fun. (Yokomichi Yuri) -Her way of speaking… (Yoshikawa Nanase) -She can’t read 99. ← But I love that part of her too. (Yaguchi Moka)

2. (6 votes) Noda Hinano -While we were filling out this survey, she had to ask Hikarun how to spell “cute” and “smile”. Is she okay-- (lol) (Takahashi Ayane) -She doesn’t know what time it is when the clock says 20:00 (But she’s the youngest member so it can’t be helped.) (Utada Hatsuka)

3. (5 votes) Chou Kurena -At Tokyo Dome City Hall she sang “Flower” but at first she kept reading “karen” as “karei” (Oda Erina) -She can’t hold a conversation! (Shimizu Maria) -Both in appearance and contents. (Tanikawa Hijiri)

[fallforfables]

First of all I want to say I’m sorry for for the way Terrence treated you. I hope writing this blog has been therapeutic for you and your healing. Please only answer if you feel comfortable, but I wanted to ask how you felt about the recent YouTube video that discussed your abuse. I used to be a repo fan a few years back, and watched that video when it came on my suggests. It was my introduction to the youtuber, and to your blog and well. Watching the video felt a bit upsetting, but also helped me make sense of my experience in the fandom and the weird culture of these niche gothy fanspaces where a lot of ickyness and misogyny goes unnoticed. I imagine the extra attention you got from the video might have been stressful. I wanted to hear what you thought about it and whether hearing someone else talking about it felt therapeutic to you. Hearing Laura talk about your involvement in so many of these art projects made me feel for you, because I realized how invested you must have been in these movies as well. Wherever you are, I hope you are able to still be involved in art and/or projects that you love.

Thank you! Between being able to share what happened to me and actual therapy, I'm better than I've ever been. Progress is a not-fun roller coaster, but I have so many more days where I can look back on my life with him and laugh about the ridiculousness rather than cry about the damage done.

I have really mixed feelings about the video. Laura's critique of the movie and terrance's work was hilariously on point and the whole video is just super enjoyable to watch, as both an ex-Repo! fan and someone who enjoys snarky media critique.

While I understand her reasoning as to why she never reached out to me, I don't agree with it. I'm honestly still a little mad about it and I don't know that I ever won't be. It would have been nice to have been asked for permission, which I would have happily given. It would even have been nice to have a head's up, whether or not she wanted my permission. There's just something uncomfortable - to me, the subject - about someone else telling my story - which is in good part about being left out of my own story - and leaving me out of it.

Obviously she couldn't have known this, but also, the video dropped at a time when things were not so hot for me. I didn't really have the energy to spare for that unexpected burst of attention, but I still felt like I had to run to catch up to all of it since I hadn't been given the opportunity to get in front of it and prepare. It's been a long time since I had active bullies, but the comments on the video absolutely awoke that same feeling again - except, tbh, kind of worse because I knew I couldn't jump in and defend myself or cut anyone to the quick with my sharp wit without looking like a whole idiot. Reading them became something of a self-harm routine for weeks after, where I'd be refreshing the video multiple times a day to see if there were any new hateful, ignorant takes about me - which I really didn't need at a time in my life when I already had other things making me feel isolated, not listened to, and hated. And, look, I know that knowing she was going to make this video wouldn't have saved me from any of that, but...I don't know, I would have liked to have been able to do some prep work with my therapist beforehand rather than being forced to frantically try to patch the cracks after.

At the end of the day, I do think it's good that the video exists. I'm glad it's put more attention than I've ever been able to on the fact that he's a self-important, predatory bag of trash. I want people to stay safe from his bullshit and I want people to hear a funny, inciteful take-down of his overinflated ego. If there's more than one place on the internet for people do that, that's a good thing!

[nothing-but-dreamy]

FAKE DATE

Pairing: FFXV! NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 10.822

Warnings: some cursing, fluff, mentioning of cheating

A/N: So.... this idea started as a quick idea for a one shot.... I guess, it got a little bit out of hand... but who cares... have fun... it's worth to read it

Summary: Your ex marries your cousin and because it's family, you have to attend there with a date. No matter how hard it would be for you. You talk with Crowe about it and she comes up with an idea: a fake date with one of her friends, Nyx Ulric. Nyx agrees reluctantly and even if he had sworn to himself to avoid meeting new people or rather to let them get too close … little did he know that you could change this plan without even knowing it…

"Crowe, it's horrible! I really tried to talk with my mother but she won't accept the fact that I don't want to come to this wedding. She said: 'We become a family. You're mature enough to work past all this'. Argh! I would love to scream.", you cried out, raking violently through your hair with your fingers.

"Yeah... Right... It's about maturity that you have to watch how your cousin marries your ex-boyfriend who had left you. For your cousin. This marriage is crazy. Since when do they even know each other?"

"For seven months.", you muffled into your hands.

"Wait! What? You met this idiot what? Ten months ago!"

"Yup. And then, we had a family meeting where he met my cousin. They got along pretty well. Maybe I should have sensed something there already. But I didn't.", you said heartbroken.

"So, he met your cousin behind your back, he cheated on you and your mother still wants you to join the wedding? Are really all of your family so stupid, sorry for that, to accept the fact that he’s a lying and cheating bastard?"

"Yes, they are!", you cried out, burying your face into your hands once again, "Just because he's some high-paid, upper class doctor. And you know what the worst is? I have to bring someone with me. A date. You know for the 'aesthetic'. It’s my mother’s twisted ‘perfect world’ thingy. But I don't have someone. I'm still hurt because of what he had done to me. I don't wanna meet someone new.", you breathed devastated.

Crowe nodded slowly, understanding your point because she was there as she had picked up the shattered pieces that had been your former self. Then, an idea popped up in her mind even if it was a tricky one, "YN, I might have a solution for your problem."

Slowly, you looked up, "Yeah... I already considered running away but I can't. My mother would find me everywhere."

Crowe chuckled, "No. Not that. Maybe we keep this running away idea as a back-up. No, I might have a solution for your date misery."

***

The next day, Crowe searched for Libertus and Nyx in the training area of the Kingsglaive headquarters. Finding them warping around, she watched them for a while before both men closed up to her for a small break.

"I will never really get used to this warping shit. My stomach makes somersaults all the time.", Libertus complained and rubbed over his stomach and chest to calm down the heartburn.

"Well, not every person is made for flying.", Crowe said teasingly what caused Nyx to chuckle and Libertus to roll with his eyes.

"So, what's up? It's a bit too early for you.", Nyx said, leaning against a pillar with crossed arms.

"Actually, I wanted to talk with you, Nyx. I... I need your help.", Crowe said carefully.

Nyx frowned as he saw the wariness in his friend's eyes, "And for what?"

"The thing is... I don't really need your help. It's rather a friend of mine.", Crowe said and saw how Nyx pressed his jaws together.

"Crowe? Is this another try to set me up with someone?", he asked serious.

Crowe gnawed on her lower lip, "No... Well... Not really?"

"Crowe! Come on. We already had that!", Nyx said serious, drawing his brows together.

Crowe raised her hands, "I know, I know. You made this clear the last time. But this is different. YN really needs help. Listen, their ex marries and they have to attend there-"

"Why? Why do they have to attend their ex' wedding?", Libertus asked confused.

Crowe grimaced, "Well, he's marrying their cousin."

"What?", Nyx and Libertus called out at the same time.

Crowe pinched the bridge of her nose, "It's a pretty shitty situation. This asshole cheated on YN with their cousin a few months after they started to date. But because he's such a great doctor, with much prestige and money, everyone seems to be cool with this wedding no matter how YN feels about this."

"Holy six...", Libertus whispered, shaking his head at how complicated this situation seemed to be.

"And why do you need me? What role shall I play in all this?", Nyx asked even if he already had an idea what would come next.

"Well... Not enough that YN shall be part of the wedding, they also shall bring a date along. Something about aesthetics or stuff. I dunno. Don't ask me. And that's the point where I need your help, Nyx.", Crowe said and looked at her friend with a pleading expression and a hopeful smile while Nyx stayed silent.

"Why don't you ask me for help?", Libertus asked, pointing at himself.

Crowe looked apologetically at the taller man, "Well, sorry, but I think Nyx is more of their type-"

"More of their type? Crowe!", Nyx called out, getting slightly agitated.

Crowe raised her hands in surrender, "Calm down. I don't wanna set you up with them. But YN shall bring a date to this already crazy and hilarious wedding. The idiot cheated on them for several months, left them and now, YN’s still very hurt. After the breakup and the announced engagement, they were a mess. I needed some time to collect all the pieces that were left from them. They're not able to date someone or to find someone new. So, I thought about a fake date. It's not a real date. You just have to act like it. Please, Nyx. You don't have to do much. Just accompany them to this wedding. Keep them company and distract them a little. Just have some fun."

Nyx considered the idea. He wasn't really in the mood for dates or weddings but he knew Crowe well enough. If she thought about this as a good idea, he really might be helpful. Nyx’ strong helper syndrome was now also kicking in once again, "So, just if I say yes, and I say if, what shall I do?"

On Crowe's lips grew a smile because she knew Nyx would say yes if he was already this far with his considerations, "Nothing much. You meet them. I guess they will pick you up or something. You attend the wedding in the church and the party afterwards together. That's it. You don't have any responsibilities except to be by YN's side as their date. Maybe support them a little bit during this whole carnival."

"And when shall this trickery be?", Nyx asked warily.

Crowe's face changed into a grimace once again, "That's the stupid part... It's this weekend."

"Crowe!", Nyx called out. It was already Wednesday.

"Hey! It's not my fault. YN also told me about it yesterday. Obviously, they tried to discuss this whole thing about the presence with their mother but she was very persistent with this point. Nyx, it's urgent. Next to you two, they're my best friend. I hate to see them suffer. It’s not fair because they’re a jewel of a person. That their ex shall get a happy ending after everything he had done is already the biggest joke. But now, he will become part of their family, as well. I really need your help.", Crowe begged.

Nyx took a deep breath and released the air slowly, "Alright, alright. I will do it. But", he said and raised his hand as Crowe already started to get excited, "I guess I need a tuxedo or something like this-"

"I will take care of that! You don't have to do anything like I said. I promise."

"Then, just one more thing. Maybe it would be better if we met before the wedding? You know, to check if we get along and if the chemistry is working."

***

"He did say yes?"

"You really had doubts?", Crowe asked with a smirk. Your reaction had been gold as she had told you that she had found a date for you: Nyx Ulric - one of her friends and colleagues.

In fact, you had heard a few things about him. That he was from Galahd, had lost his family and had a tendency to be a little bit gruff in front of others but with that he was just hiding his soft side, as Crowe had told you. To meet him and Libertus was long overdue, "Well... A little bit to be honest. I mean, he doesn't know me. I know we will just be acting but still it's like a blind date. What if we don't get along? It's all about chemistry and stuff..."

Crowe blinked and stared at you, "Well, I'm sure you two will like each other. In fact, Nyx mentioned the exact same doubts with the exact same words."

"Really? Well... it's maybe just coincidence.", you said, turning around to get something to drink from the kitchen.

But no matter how quickly you had been, Crowe had seen your blushing cheeks and grinned about it. It had been a long time since she had seen you like this: filled with life and pleasant anticipation.

"So, Nyx is okay with this whole fake date thingy?", you asked, while gnawing on your lower lip. You felt nervous to meet him even if he was a friend of Crowe.

Crowe smiled, "Don't worry, he is. You said you could get a tuxedo?"

"Yes! Of course. Just give me his size and I will take care of it. It's easy for me. Tomorrow, it can be here."

"Great. So, could I bring him here tomorrow? You two can meet and he can try on the tuxedo."

"Perfect idea. And I will cook something for us.", you said with sparkling eyes. You had no idea why but suddenly, you were even looking forward to meeting Nyx, your unexpected lifesaver.

***

"You said, I don't have to do anything.", Nyx complained as he made his way through the city the next day with Crowe by his side.

Crowe rolled with her eyes, "Yes and you really don't have to do anything except to try on one or two tuxedos, alright? It's not that I would drag you to a shopping trip. We meet YN at their place where you can try on the clothes. So, we will kill two birds with one stone."

Nyx had laid awake last night while thinking about this fake date idea. Sure, he wanted to help Crowe and her friend but that didn’t change the fact that there was a reason behind his reluctance to date new people. So, once again, Nyx asked himself if he really was doing the right thing…

*

As you heard the first knock at your door, you jumped by surprise. It was friday evening, the day before the wedding and it was arranged that Crowe and Nyx would visit you after they were done with their shift. But still, as your friend was there, you felt excited. You were even sick with nervousness to meet Nyx. He was the first guy you would meet after the horrible break-up and even if it was just a fake date, your hands became sweaty and your heart began to race.

The second knock brought you back to reality and you hurried to open the door, "Hey, guys. Come in-", you stopped as Crowe passed you and your eyes fell on Nyx who smiled at you warm and softly. Never in your life had you seen such a handsome, good looking man. Even your ex wasn't able to keep up with Nyx’ undeniable, rough sexiness. His eyes were the bluest and his lips the fullest. The stubble he sported and his greyish hair with the braids suited him perfectly. You noticed something wild in his appearance which got underlined by the tattoos on his face and ears. For the first time, you understood what Crowe had meant as she said that it was visible that Nyx was from Galahd. He wasn't hiding his roots and as it was for you, there was no reason for him to do this at all.

"YN?", Crowe asked as she saw you gaping at Nyx. Internally, she was pleased with herself. To see you like this told her that she had been right: Nyx was your type of guy.

Crowe's voice brought you back from your daydreaming, "Yeah... Sorry, I was just... Uhm...", you stammered.

Crowe grinned but stepped in to help you, "YN meet Nyx. Nyx this YN, my emotional support when I have to deal with too much of your bullshit."

You smiled thankfully, "Yeah... The support might be questionable nowadays.", you said shyly.

"That's okay. It will change again. I'm sure.", Crowe said.

"It's nice to meet you finally, YN. I heard a lot of great things about you.", Nyx said politely as you invited him in. As he and Crowe had gone to your place, Nyx was intimidated because of your fancy apartment complex. You were from Insomnia but because you were refugee friendly and even tried to help to improve the underground district your friendship with Crowe had been possible which calmed Nyx a little. But as you had opened the door, nervousness and excitement spread through his emotionally cold veins. Crowe had described you as nice, sweet and beautiful. But in Nyx' eyes, these words were far away from being suitable. Your eyes were clear and bright as you looked right into his soul. Your lips had such a rich color that they already looked delicious. Nyx knew he had to keep his composure together and actually he wasn't really interested in meeting new people as he always said like a mantra but you and your sweet appearance made it extremely difficult to stick to his plan.

"I'm sure Crowe made up a few things to let me look better.", you said chuckling.

As Nyx heard you laughing, his heart made a little jump and suddenly, he asked himself how it was even possible for someone to hurt you at all.

Pleased with Nyx' reaction about her friend, Crowe grinned, "No, I was always honest and I just told everyone how amazing you are."

"Liar. But that's okay. So, I... The tuxedos already arrived and the dinner is almost done. What about you try on the clothes, Nyx, and then, we eat?", you suggested.

"Sounds great.", Crowe said and went into the kitchen to check the oven for what you had prepared.

"Come on, I will show you the way.", you said to Nyx and guided him through your apartment into your bedroom, "So, Crowe gave me your sizes from your uniform. I got an anthracite and a black tuxedo. The only two colors my mother allows tomorrow. Just try them.", you said and shot the man next to a shy smile. Somehow, his scent was able to fill your small room so quickly that you knew it would be stuck there for a few days and you already were looking forward to it.

"Thanks.", Nyx said and cursed himself because he wanted to say more but he couldn't. Somehow, his tongue was tied up into a knot. Obviously, he had been out of training for human interactions a bit too long.

You were about to leave him alone before you stopped at the door once again, "I have to thank you, Nyx. I... If you wouldn't do that I'm sure I would die because of so many things tomorrow. I owe you really big. So, thank you really much.", you said with a shy smile and reddening cheeks. And before Nyx could say anything, you left the room and closed the door.

Nyx stared at the spot where you had stood. It was one thing to do Crowe a favor in helping you. But to see all these raw emotions mirrored in your eyes did something to him. Your voice had been filled with sadness even if you had tried to hide it. And somehow, deep empathy for you flooded his veins and anger towards your ex entered his muscles. He should accompany you? He swore to himself to do this and to watch out for you the whole evening. Because like Crowe, he already hated it to see you suffer.

*

"So, you like him, huh?", Crowe asked as you joined her in the kitchen.

You stared at your friend with shocked filled eyes, "I- I don't know what you mean.", you said defensive even if it wasn't really working.

Crowe grinned, "Come on, YN. I know you. And I saw how you were staring at Nyx. Therefore, you like him."

You felt your cheeks blushing and you even pretended to look after your cooking pots so you could avoid Crowe's smug smirk, "He's nice, yeah. I mean, I owe him a lot that he does this for me. I'm grateful for that."

"Yeah... Right. Grateful. Grateful with big, sparkling and hungry eyes-", Crowe said teasingly but got stopped by your elbow and in the next moment Nyx entered your kitchen to present himself. Crowe whistled, "Wow, look at this. I had no idea there could be a real gentleman underneath this gruff surface.", she said, which earned her an annoyed eye roll from the Glaive.

You smiled appreciatively, "Crowe has a point, tho. You look really great in this tuxedo.", you admitted. Indeed, Nyx had tried on the black tuxedo first and it was already a match. Because of the white suit shirt, his blue eyes seem to glow even more. His longer strands gave the tuxedo a nice, foreign touch you already liked, "If you ask me, you're done with testing. Is it comfortable?", you asked, checking the fit on his back.

"Yes, it's extremely comfortable. I had no idea it would fit so well.", Nyx admitted while the soft touch of your hands on his back gave him slight goosebumps.

"I'm not surprised. These are high-class tuxedos. They're very expensive. Don't worry, it's borrowed.", you explained as you saw Nyx' concerned expression, "No one should buy such things just for one evening. So, great. That was it. You're done. You can change again and then, dinner is ready. At least a little try to make it up to you and your time."

As Nyx disappeared in your bedroom once again, Crowe closed up on you with a smirk, "It's so good that I was right with my assumption that you two would fit together perfectly. And now, you will even have some eye candy to look at the whole evening. I'm the best friend you could ask for."

Instead of answering, you just rolled with your eyes even if she was right. But you wouldn't admit it out loud. Never.

*

"God, this was delicious, YN.", Crowe sighed satisfied as she leant back in her seat.

"I just can say the same. This was great. But if I may ask, what was it? I mean, I know the stuff you used but somehow the taste was … I never tasted like this before.", Nyx asked curiously. Whatever you had done, it was delicious but he never had found something similar in Insomnia before.

You chuckled, "Actually, it isn't something fancy. Vegetables, meat and rice. But the spices make the difference. You don't find these here in Insomnia. I got them from Lestallum. There's a huge market full of stands with spices and ingredients you won't find anywhere else. I like exotic stuff so this market is like a treasure."

While you had answered his question, Nyx was fascinated by the way your eyes started to glow in a new way. You were happy to talk about what you liked. Your happiness was contagious and made his heart jump. Nyx caught himself by the thought that this fake-date thingy wouldn't be as bad as he had thought in the beginning.

Crowe watched you and Nyx. She already saw the connection between you two and even if she respected your decision to be alone for a while after everything you had experienced, she saw that both of you were interested in each other. So, for her, it was the time to give you some space, "Oh, look. How late it got already. I have an early meeting tomorrow.", she said and jumped up from her seat, grabbing her jacket, "Thank you very much for this delicious meal and I wish you two a lot of fun tomorrow.", she said before she hurried out of your apartment.

Slightly speechless, you and Nyx looked after her. As Nyx met your eyes again, both of you were laughing. You looked at your clock on the wall, "Late my ass. We just have eight.", you pointed out while still laughing.

"You know what she's trying right?", Nyx asked with a grin.

"Of course. She's trying to set us up with each other."

Nyx shook his head with a grin, disbelieving that Crowe had pulled this trick, "And that although she knows that I don't want to date anyone.", he just said but regretted it immediately as he saw your face. It was a mixture of surprise and disappointment. Quickly, you tried to hide it behind a smile and that sight hurt Nyx even more than he thought, "Oh uhm... I- I didn't mean you... O-or this.. I.. I'm sorry, I...", he stumbled over his own words and cursed himself for speaking so mindlessly.

You waved with your hand to brush it aside with a weak smile, ignoring the disappointment, "Calm down. I know what you mean, Nyx. After what my ex had done, I'm also not much interested in dates. Don't forget that this will be just a fake date.", you said softly to reassure him before you collected a bunch of plates to be able to turn away from him.

But Nyx had seen the sparkling in your eyes that extremely resembled unshed tears. Once again, he cursed himself. Here he was, Nyx had promised to himself to protect you from everything that would happen at the wedding but was able to make you sad in his own way.

Quickly, he stood up, collecting the cutlery to go to your side, "Hey", Nyx said softly to get your attention, he smiled as you looked at him, "I'm sorry, YN. I didn't mean you at all. It's just...Crowe tried many times to matchmake me. It never ended well. I guess, it's because of my job as a Glaive. I try my best but... it's my work. I owe King Regis a lot for saving me. And I see myself forced to pay it back in protecting this city and its people."

"Don't apologize, Nyx. What you and the other Glaives are doing is honorable. Not everyone is able to cope with what you do all day for this city. If someone has a problem with that...well... it's just not the fitting person, I guess. The fitting person would always support you to make your life easier instead of making it more difficult.", you said and smiled.

Nyx was speechless about your caring words and your warm smile, "Thank you. You... I can see why Crowe cares so much about you. You're very sweet. And you know what? I'm looking forward to spending the day with you tomorrow."

You sniffled back a sob, "Thanks, Nyx. I'm sure it will be horrible tomorrow. Just the thought of seeing him makes me anxious right now. But to know you will be with me calms me already.", you admitted softly.

Nyx smiled but also wanted to change the heavy topic to something lighter, "So, about tomorrow. How shall we do it? Already have any plans?"

"Yeah, my idea was to pick you up but maybe it would be easier for you to come here so you don't have to carry the tuxedo around. I mean, if this would be okay for you?", you said while bringing Nyx to the front door.

"Sounds good. Oh, one thing. Shall I do something with my hair? It's not typical for Insomnian citizen-"

"No, please, don't!", you hurried but you looked away as you felt your cheeks blushing again.

Nyx chuckled, shooting you a smile as you looked back at him, "Don't worry. I won't change anything if you don't want to. I just want to make sure that you will have a nice day tomorrow."

***

The next day, Nyx knocked at your door as agreed. Once again he was excited to meet you. This time because he was looking forward to seeing you again. Usually, if Nyx was dreaming during the night, he had nightmares but the last night was filled with dreams about you. This morning, he was more rested and relaxed than ever before.

So, as you opened the door, Nyx was already smiling and happy but as he saw you, his smile faltered and his expression changed into staring, "Whoa, you look amazing.", he breathed.

Your small smile grew into something bigger that reached each of your ears, "Thank you. Come in.", you said excitedly and stepped aside to let Nyx into your apartment.

Ten minutes later, Nyx joined you in the kitchen, dressed in the tuxedo and ready. You prepared some coffee before the car would be there to pick you up, "So, what's scheduled for today?", he asked and closed the buttons on his cuffs. At least, he tried it.

You watched him fumbling for a few moments until you joined him for help, "In fact, everything's pretty timed. We will drive to the church were the wedding will be held. And after that we will drive further to the Caelum Via where the dinner and party will be. I just hope we can escape during the party when the official thing is over. So, it's done.", you said softly. Your fingers were brushing along Nyx' warm skin. You lingered a few seconds longer before you realized what you were doing.

Nyx felt the connection between you and him as well. Your touch was small, soft and warm and everything he wanted to feel again and again. As he saw your caught expression, he smiled at you to show you that it was okay and he saw that you understood.

Coffee, smalltalk and just being with each other let the time run too fast and as your doorbell rang for the arriving car you felt annoyed because this, with Nyx, was pure fun.

Nyx noticed the change in you and placed his hand on yours, "I will be with you all the time. Or, I will be close to you. You're not alone in this, okay?"

You nodded reluctantly but forced yourself to smile. And with Nyx by your side, you left your apartment for the worst day ever in your life.

*

But Nyx stuck to his word and was with you. The car brought you to the church and he was about to leave the limousine as he noticed that you weren't moving at all. Ignoring the driver's glance, he leant over to you, avoiding touching you in fear to scare you, "YN?"

You stared out of the side window. There was the church, the church you wanted to marry in one day. Not exactly your ex but generally. Flowers were decorated everywhere and between the different colorful plants stood your family. Your mother, your dad, both of your aunts and uncles and Matt...your ex.

Nyx followed your gaze and saw the group of people. Even without asking he knew it had to be your family, considering the fact how you were looking at them. Nyx noticed the younger guy in the festive attire and knew instinctively that it had to be the groom. The guy was tall, slim fit and looked like a lot of money. But the way he moved and talked was easy to dislike because he looked snobbish. Nyx saw your distress and felt sorry. He could just imagine what you were feeling right now, "Listen, we can go if you want.", Nyx suggested softly.

You shook your head, "I can't. We're family. My mother would kill me."

Nyx sighed low, "I know family is important but... you're also important. And if you think you can't handle this under these circumstances then it's okay. You don’t have to."

Slowly, you looked at him, already thankful to have him by your side, "I can do that. I have to."

Nyx nodded, accepting your determination before he left the car. The driver opened your door and as you left the car as well, Nyx was already waiting for you, offering you his arm to link your own with it.

As you two closed up on the group of your family members, your mother was the first to spot you. Suddenly, Nyx noticed a slight change in your behavior. You straightened yourself, you held your head high but the grip on Nyx' arm also became stronger.

"Darling! You look great.", your mother said, grabbing your shoulders to kiss you left and right of your face without touching your skin.

As she leant back, you saw the huge, happy smile on her lips that only money could produce, "Mother, you look lovely. The whole decoration is breathtaking.", you said with a huge smile.

It was fake. Nyx could already spot the difference because the smile didn't reach your bright eyes. Then, your mother's attention shifted over to Nyx and he swallowed thickly by the sight of her mustering glance at his appearance.

You noticed her glance as well and stepped in, "Oh, right. Mother, this is Nyx. Nyx, this is my beloved mother."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, ma'am.", Nyx said politely and even bowed a little.

Internally, you grinned about her surprised expression because she never had expected such good manners with a guy who had Nyx' looks. You knew her well enough to know what she thought.

"It's a pleasure for me. Where have you two met if I may ask?", your mother asked.

You knew it was a test and you knew how to play this game, "Through a friend. Nyx is working for King Regis."

"For the King? That's amazing."

You saw the sparkling in your mother's eyes but before she could say anything else, you took Nyx' arm to guide him away, "Excuse us, we will go inside. Searching for our seats.", you said and without waiting, you passed the group to go into the church.

As you two were out of earshot from your family, Nyx leant to you, "That was smooth."

You grinned, "Have you seen her eyes as I mentioned the King? That was pure greed. It doesn't matter if it is money or prestige. She loves it. I'm sure she thinks you're a member of the royal family. And that's the reason why it's okay for everyone that my cousin marries Matt. He's a doctor. A high-paid surgeon. Money and prestige.", you explained.

As you and Nyx sat down, a thought struck his mind. He was just not sure if he should ask or not-

"You wanna know how I could land him?", you said as you saw Nyx' glance.

"No, not how you could land him. Rather...what you saw in him. I don't know you for long but...such a guy? I'm not sure if he suits you well…"

You nodded, "Yeah...trust me, now? I know that, too. But as we met, he was…", you stopped as you remembered the early time with Matt, "We met accidentally in a bookstore. Somehow, we ended in the same row of bookshelves and he bumped into me. Obviously, he liked me so he invited me for coffee. I agreed because he can be extremely charming. But if I think about it now, we never had something in common. I was imagining things and was blinded by his looks. Although ...well…recently, I've met a guy who is more handsome than Matt will ever be."

Nyx knew you meant him. In the way you had said it and how you looked at him told him whom you meant. Nyx' heart skipped a beat by the thought of how you saw him. In his eyes, it wasn't fair. Here he was, sitting next to you, starting to like you. He was attracted to you and still, he didn't want to have any love interest. It always ended badly and that was the last thing he wanted for you. Nyx wanted to say something, to lower your interest in him, but the wedding started and cut him off.

*

The ceremony was beautiful and romantic. You had to admit that even if you hated it. Your cousin looked wonderful and as they both brought up their vows in a solemn way, you had to suppress a tear because it was sweet and lovely what they swore to each other. Just the point 'I will never love someone else next to you' from Matt caused you to roll with your eyes. It was pathetic.

Most of the time, Nyx tried to stay focused on the wedding but it wasn't easy. His brain was busy with different things. On the one hand, he searched for a way to keep you on distance but whenever he had an idea, Nyx asked himself 'why?'. Why should he stay away from you when you were interested in him? He was interested in you, too. You were attractive, sweet and nice but also hurt. The last thing Nyx wanted was to take advantage of your sore emotions or to be the reason to get hurt even more.

"Nyx?"

Your voice brought him back to reality and he realized that the church emptied slowly, "Sorry, I was thinking about something."

"Totally get it. This wedding was...I don't know. Maybe it was the sweetest thing I have ever seen or the most hypocritical. But no matter what it was, it's over now."

"Then, if I may?", Nyx asked and offered you his arm once again.

Smiling, you took his arm and walked down the aisle with Nyx to leave the church.

*

As you reached the festive decorated ballroom of the Caelum Via, Nyx wasn't surprised anymore. You had told him that your family and even Matt's had a lot of money and they loved to show it. But even if you were dressed in something expensive and even if you knew how to act properly amongst all the other high society people, Nyx noticed that it wasn't really your world. You had been forced into it by blood and family relations.

You introduced Nyx to everyone you met on your way to your table. And not for one second, Nyx felt misplaced by you. You even gave him the feeling as if you were proud to have him by your side.

"Holy six, we have made it.", you sighed as you slumped down on a seat of the table you were aiming for, "Once again, I have to thank you."

Nyx smiled softly, "But I've done nothing."

"You're here. You're by my side. And you're not running away after meeting my family. You keep me sane. I would say you do enough."

Nyx watched you but he was sure he was right with his assumption, "You don't have the best bond with your family, do you?"

You chuckled dryly, "No, not really. It's better now but...I haven't become a lawyer like everyone else, tho. I mean, even my mother had been a secretary in a law office. There, she met my dad, who’s a lawyer. Like my uncles."

"So, you're kinda the black sheep?", Nyx asked amused and saw himself as confirmed: this world was not yours.

"Oh, yeah. You have no idea. That I dated Matt had raised my prestige in their eyes but…", you stopped as Matt and your cousin entered the ballroom under loud cheering, "I have no idea what I was for him. Time distraction? Toy? I mean, we had fun and I feel so stupid for not seeing anything coming."

Nyx had no idea what he should say to comfort you. Maybe there was even no way to comfort you at all. Things like this needed time to heal. But somehow Nyx got the impression that you were stronger than you seemed to be right now.

You wanted to say something but your mother and dad joined your table and gone was the calmness you had felt during the last few moments.

"Darling, have you congratulated Matt and your cousin?", your mother said, placing one hand on your shoulder and one on Nyx'.

That touch looked more possessive than you liked to see, "Of course, I did.", you said with a charming smile.

"Wonderful! Wasn't the wedding a dream? And the vows! I really had to suppress a tear."

"Yes, mother, it was wonderful.", you agreed.

"And you, Nyx? Everything's-", but your mother got called over by your aunts and excused himself again. Even your dad excused himself again.

Nyx waited till she was out of earshot before he turned over to you, "You haven't congratulated them, have you?"

"Of course not.", you said with a huge grin that made Nyx chuckling. You liked the way he smiled. You already liked his presence. He was calm and quiet but knew how to tell his stories to entertain you.

Quickly, the dinner got served and was done and the last part of this circus started: the party. You knew you couldn't leave right away. Even if you wanted to run away as far as you could, it wouldn't look too good. So, you stayed until you would find a good moment to escape.

"Hey, you wanna get some fresh air?", Nyx asked as he saw how you were watching Matt dancing with his partner closely to a slow, romantic song.

Like awakening from a trance, you blinked with your eyes and nodded as you looked at Nyx and his warm, encouraging smile. As you stepped out, you breathed in the fresh breeze with closed eyes.

Once again, Nyx caught himself staring at you in a fascinated way. While you walked across the balcony to the handrail, Nyx followed you slowly and thanked Crowe silently that he had met you, "How do you feel? You're still okay?", he asked carefully.

You turned over to him, "Yes. Yes, I'm feeling good. As I watched them dance, I noticed the way Matt looked at my cousin. He never looked at me this way and I'm… I'm getting okay with it. If they're happy then I don't care. Maybe this wedding was the right cure."

Nyx was impressed how strong you really were. He was sure that you were still hurt but it looked as if you were on the right way.

"Can I ask you something?", you asked, gnawing on your lower lip.

"Of course. I'm at your service no matter what it is. So, what do you desire to know about me?", Nyx said solemnly and smirked as he heard you chuckling.

"I know Crowe can use the King's magic. So, I guess, all Glaives are able to do that?"

"Yes. That's why we're members of the Kingsglaive. Not everyone is able to use these powers so, just the 'best' or talented of the refugees get picked out.", Nyx explained.

You nodded slowly, "It's too bad that refugees get used to fighting battles to secure this city instead of the citizens who actually live here.", you said while letting your eyes roam over the skyline of Insomnia.

"I'm okay with that. I mean, Niflheim attacked my home, Magiteks killed my family. If I can fight against them, I know I do the right thing. Taking revenge. At least as good as I can.", Nyx said low and also watched the scene in front of him.

"I'm sorry for your loss. Crowe told me about it once. Nothing much, just a few things. Is… Is this also the reason why you try to keep people away from you? In fear you could lose them as well?", you asked carefully. Maybe you were too bold but you felt a connection to Nyx that gave you the courage to ask these things.

With a sad expression, Nyx nodded. He was surprised that you had figured him out this quickly but maybe he wasn't such a riddle or you were really attentive when it came to him, "Yeah... you're not so wrong. I know how it feels to lose loved ones so I don't wanna put someone else through this as well. And as a Glaive things can turn bad really quickly.", he said and watched your reaction.

"I guess you're right."

Nyx nodded and felt an unknown pain stinging his heart that you thought like this as well.

"But", you started again, looking straight into Nyx eyes, "I got to know you a little bit today. Trust me, I understand your point but as I said yesterday, the right person wouldn't see a problem with that. I mean… you shouldn't be alone Nyx. No one should. And if you think life is so short for you, you should stop being alone and start to make the best out of the time you still have.", you whispered.

Without noticing, Nyx had closed up on you forced by your words. Unknowingly, you had hit a point: he was alone...rather he was lonely. He felt lonely when he was done with the training and went back to his empty home. He felt lonely when he came back after an exhausting fight on the battlefield. When he felt lonely, the flashbacks and nightmares became worse and darker. These were the times where he wished to have someone by his side who would be there for him. Who would drag him out of the darkness because their light was so much brighter than every shadow would ever be. Bright like your glowing eyes and your charming smile.

Slowly, Nyx leant forward and raised his hand without thinking about it. He just wanted to feel your skin under his touch. Softly, he placed his hand on your cheek and saw your surprise but you stayed where you were as if you wanted him to continue. Driven by your alluring scent, he closed the gap slowly and-

SCREESH!!!

The cry of a bird that flew above your heads let both of you jump away from each other. You and Nyx were breathing heavily while you two recovered from the shock. You smoothed down your clothes to distract yourself while Nyx ran a hand through his hair to do the same.

The situation became awkward but Nyx wanted to show you that everything was alright. At the same time, he wanted to show himself that everything was still alright between you and him, "Hey...uhm… You wanna see some magic?", he asked softly, almost shy.

You smiled, thankfully that Nyx had sensed the awkward tension, "I would love to.", you said while still recovering from the surprise that Nyx wanted to kiss you. Not that you would have stopped him…

Nyx grinned and raised his right hand. He showed you the bare palm and in the next moment, sizzling flames were dancing over his skin as if they were following a rhythm no one could hear. Nyx checked your reaction and was pleased as he saw your sparkling eyes, illuminated by the flames, and the growing smile.

Fascinated, you watched the flames. You felt the urge to touch them but as you closed up on the flames with your forefinger, you already felt the warmth so, you retreated your hand again, "It's hot! I don't know why I'm surprised but… Don't they hurt you?", you asked concerned.

Nyx chuckled, "No, not at all. If you can use elementary magic, you're safe. It's just painful for your enemy.", he said with a grin and was happy to see you smile again.

"Can you just produce fire? Or is there more?", you asked excitedly, totally hooked about the fact how cool this skill was.

"Two more. Lightning", Nyx said and killed the flames by closing his hand before his fist got enveloped by small, twitching bolts that ran across his hand like busy worms. But they became a bit too fast and 'overexcited' and Nyx casted them away before something could get hit by them, "And then, there's ice.", he said and changed the bolts into a subtle fog.

You leant forward to look closer but even in the dim light from the candles and the light coming from the ballroom, you noticed small, sparkling ice particles which were swirling through the fog. Whenever light hit them, they were glittering in every possible color like a prism, "I- I… that's so beautiful. I mean, it sparkles like millions of diamonds."

Nyx chuckled, he never had seen the magic he used on a daily basis as what it actually was: magic. It was something not many people could control. It was indeed something special, usually just reserved for the royal family and yet, he was also able to produce ice and let your smile grow even bigger than before as you had seen the fire, “I don’t know but I guess to see the world through your eyes must be wonderful. You seem to be delighted by the smallest things.”, Nyx said low but smiled as you looked up with a now shy smile on your lips.

“Life is more than just money and prestige. We are surrounded by wonders barely someone sees anymore. I mean, for example in Lestallum, the city uses the energy of a meteor that lies there for centuries. You should see the magical view by night. The golden and blue light dancing into the sky. I swear you never had seen something like this before.”, you said excitedly and once again, you noticed how Nyx was staring at you. It wasn’t unpleasant. Rather quite the opposite. It was a silly thought but somehow you had the feeling that Nyx could see more in you than just a little flirt and a nice kiss at some wedding.

It was crazy. As Crowe told you Nyx would be your type of man, you had laughed about it. After everything Matt had done you needed a break from dates and men and love and all these things. You didn’t want to quit it forever just a little longer but obviously your friend saw it differently and silently, you already thanked her.

Once again, Nyx was mesmerized by you. The way you saw things. How you looked at the world. How you looked at him. He was sure you weren’t flawless - no one was. But no matter what kind of flaws you would have, he wouldn’t care about it. He would deal with everything as long as he could keep you in his life. Giving him the magic he had lost somewhere in his life. Maybe you could be friends or … maybe even something more.

Nyx killed the ice and once again, he leant in for another attempt to kiss you. The moment was perfect again. The way you looked into his eyes and how your lips slightly parted told him what he needed to know - you wanted the same. So, he stepped closer, cupping your face with both hands softly as if you were made out of glass and while you leant forward to meet him on the half way, Nyx leant forward to kiss you-

"Hey, YN, can we talk for a moment- Oh! I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?", Matt asked and grinned amused as he saw you and Nyx jumping away from each other like caught teenagers.

You cursed internally because it was the second interrupted kiss and you had no idea how many times Nyx would try his luck considering the fact that he even was willing to go this step at all.

Nyx saw that you were annoyed. And he felt the same. He had noticed that you wanted the kiss as well so it was clear for him to try it again but maybe all the interruptions were just signs for him to let it slip? Maybe he shouldn’t try his luck because he was still the Glaive who could die during the next battle. He looked from you at Matt who closed up slowly no matter if his timing had been good or not. And suddenly, Nyx saw that the guy had done this on purpose. He saw it in Matt’s gleaming eyes and in his smirk that he was amused about the fact to humiliate you once again. But as you had said before, he was part of your family now and maybe Matt just wanted to apologize or something. So, Nyx did the only logical thing that came to his mind, "Is it okay for you? I will get something to drink for us then.", he asked carefully, watching your reaction.

You weren’t amused about the idea to be alone with Matt but you nodded. You understood that Nyx might need a break. You waited till Nyx was gone before you crossed your arms over your chest, “You wanted to talk?”

"Yeah, this guy… Tell me, what did you have to pay him so that he would accompany you to this wedding as your date? I’m sure he’s a stripper or something like this. Poor soul-", the loud slap into his face let Matt stop in his sentence. While holding his stinging cheek, he looked back at you, surprised that you were even able to have such a power.

With raging eyes, you stared at him, standing your ground in front of him for the first time. All the anger and sadness you had felt had laid in this one single slap and even if you were no fan of violence, you noticed how relieving this had felt. It had been long overdue, "Don't you ever dare to talk like that about him ever again. He's a Glaive! Protecting you and everyone else in this city with his life."

"Oh, interesting! So, he's just a refugee? He’s not from here? Fascinating with what kind of people you spent your time with. Your mother will be pleased to know that.", Matt said with a smirk, turning around to go back into the ballroom to find your mother.

You called Matt back and he stopped, looking expecting at you with one raised brow. You saw the surprise about your courage in his eyes but the thing was your strength was never gone you just had forgotten to use it. You just needed a trigger to get back to your old self and Matt had found this point without knowing it. So, you stepped forward, keeping eye contact until you stood right under Matt’s nose. With a low but serious voice and a lopsided smirk on your lips you said: "You know, it doesn't matter what he is or not. It doesn’t matter what you or anyone else will think. He’s a soldier and it’s honorable. It doesn’t matter where Nyx comes from. And besides, Galahd was a beautiful, magical and unique place before Niflheim decided to destroy this jewel. No matter what you will do or say to whomever, Nyx will always be more of a man than you will ever be in your entire life, you little, lying cheater.", you said and ended your little speech with a sweet grin as you saw Matt’s shocked and surprised expression.

As you watched satisfied how Matt disappeared back into the ballroom and into the world he belonged to, your eyes landed on Nyx who stood there in the door frame with two drinks in his hands and staring right at you with big eyes.

With a soft, warm smile you walked over to Nyx, taking one of the drinks from his hands, “So, you heard what I said, I guess?”

“Y-yeah, actually every single word.”, he whispered, still not believing what you had said about him, “You had defended me in front of him. I- I mean, I have no idea what he did so you would react like this but … it was impressive to watch and … flattering.”, Nyx said honestly.

You nodded before you gulped down the stiff drink in one go to calm your nerves, “You know, to talk back to this asshole was long overdue. And … as long as he was attacking me it was okay but you … You don’t deserve this. Never. From no one. And mostly not from one person in this room.”, you said and somehow Nyx’ eyes were sparkling even more. Emotions were staring back at you which seemed to be buried away for a very long time.

Nyx, who was still flashed by you, closed the small gap, cupped your face and leant down to kiss you and this time, it worked. As he felt your warm, soft lips, he couldn’t believe it. An emotionally lightning shot though his body and electrified him within seconds as if he had been dead before for years. Your lips tasted as sweet as he had imagined and that you moved along with him gave him goosebumps.

Your heart skipped a beat as Nyx kissed you. It was perfect. It was the only way you could describe this whole scene: as perfect. Nyx’ full lips were warm and demanding in a sensual way. He kissed you not to say something he couldn’t find words rather because he just wanted you. To pull him closer, you grabbed into his suit shirt and jacket what caused Nyx to chuckle about your eagerness but you didn’t care. Like a thirsty plant for water, you were thirsty to taste more of Nyx.

Slowly, the kiss increased as both of you opened your mouths to taste each other's tongues, exploring each other. Nyx still tasted the stiff alcohol on you and breathed in your breath while deepening the kiss. He moved his hand from your face down to your back to pull you closer-

“YN! That’s not appropriate behavior for a wedding!”, your mother called out.

Slowly, you left Nyx’ lips, not seeing any reason to hurry at all. With a stupid grin you looked into the most perfect blue eyes you had ever seen which were sparkling with so much fire and joy as if their light had been rekindled after a very long sleep.

Nyx matched your grin and was still holding you in his arm, snaked firmly around your waist, not ready to let you go just now. Gently, he nudged your nose with his own, “What do you want to do now, YN? Any plans?”, he asked.

“We will leave this place. Together. Come on, Glaive.”, you said, taking his hand in yours to leave the balcony. As you passed your mother, who stared at you in shock, you said: “Goodnight mother, we will leave. Usually, I would say ‘it was a nice evening’ but that would be a lie.”, you said and stepped forward before you stopped once again, “Oh, and I didn’t congratulate the bridal couple because, well, for reasons. But I’m sure they will be happy together. Something tells me they deserve each other.”, and with that said, you left the wedding with Nyx.

Your mother was calling after you but you ignored her. But if you would have turned around one last time, you would have seen how your dad was grinning and cheering for you because in his eyes, you had done the best move possible.

*

While the driver of the limousine drove the two of you back to your place, none of you said something. You were just cuddling. As Nyx had entered the car, you had scooted over to him immediately, leaning your head against his chest while he laid his arm around your shoulders. You had intertwined your fingers with his and with your thumb you drew small patterns on his skin while you were smiling stupidly.

Nyx followed his own thoughts while burying his nose into your hair to breathe in your scent. But none of his thoughts were dark anymore. Rather, he asked himself why he had withdrawn himself the whole time and thought he would do the right thing? The only one he was punishing was himself and with you, he realized that he had done it far too long. The first kiss had been enough to spark the dying flame of all his hopes and dreams again. But the flame wasn’t just some smoldering. It was a roaring fire that filled his chest with all the emotions he had sealed somewhere deep all these times before. Just one kiss with you had been able to break this firm seal.

There was no turning back and Nyx would fight like on the battlefield to let this fire burn till he would die…

Still cuddled to Nyx’ side, he brought you to your floor and to the apartment door. You were about to open the door which would mean the end of the night as you turned around, flinging your both arms around Nyx’ neck to kiss him longingly.

Nyx didn’t need to get asked twice. He pressed you against the door, letting his hands roam over the fabric of your clothes to get a first feeling of your curves while he noticed how your fingers found their way into his hair. You played with the longer strands, tracing down the braids and stopping at the beads you found. Alone this touch was enough to make Nyx hungry for more.

You were surprised how soft his greyish hair really was. The whole evening you had asked yourself how Nyx’ hair would feel between your fingers but reality was so much better than what you had thought. Unfortunately, your lungs demanded oxygen and so, just very reluctantly, you left Nyx’ lips. He rested his forehead against your and was as breathless as you were but he was also grinning. Still playing with his hair, you pushed yourself to ask the question you wanted to ask, “You… Would you like to come in?”, you asked hopefully that he would say yes. For you, the night was still not over.

Nyx leant back, looked into your eyes and chuckled before he smirked about your confusion, “Of course, I want to come in. My clothes are still in your apartment. Remember?”, he teased.

“Oh, right… your clothes.”, you said, grinning from ear to ear, “How inconvenient this coincidence is.”, you teased back.

“Just open the door and I’m sure your clothes will join mine pretty soon.”

***

Two months later…

You stood in your kitchen, preparing the morning coffee as you did every day. The rising morning sun was illuminating your apartment in a magical, golden light. It was this kind of light and the smell of the brewing hot liquid that made it easy for you to lose track of your thoughts. Just two strong arms around your middle brought you back to reality and conjured a lovestruck smile on your lips.

You turned around in the arms to face Nyx who was matching your smile even if it was a tired one. Even his hair was tousled and so, you smoothed down the long, stubborn strands before you pressed a gentle kiss on his lips, “Good morning, handsome.”, you whispered.

“Morning, babe. I missed you in bed. I wanted to cuddle.”, he said, pouting.

You chuckled softly, feeling sorry to disappoint him, “I know but I have this important call in an hour and have to do a few things before- hey! Let me down! Nyx!”, you shrieked, laughing by surprise. Nyx had grabbed you to throw you over his shoulder. With you hanging upside down, he carried you back to the bedroom. You bounced slightly as Nyx let you carefully down on the mattress, “Nyx, come on. I don’t have time.”, you chuckled while he was crawling on top of you, kissing along all the bare skin of yours he could find.

“You said one hour. That gives me still forty minutes to have some fun with you. And then, you will still have some time to prepare whatever you want.”, Nyx said between a bunch of hot kisses along your collarbone before he continued over your neck, your weak spot he had figured out really quick.

You sighed, obeying him and his lips as you always did when he was in this kind of mood. It were two months you dated Nyx and it was still thrilling like in the beginning, “But this call is important. It’s with my dad. You know, because of the contracts I need for the refugee foundation.”, you moaned while Nyx bit into your neck. It was already difficult for you to keep your thoughts straight.

Nyx leant back, looking at you with a smirk, “With your dad, huh? He will understand it if you need some extra time. Don’t forget that he likes me. A lot. So, stop trying to resist me. It’s not even working. Just obey me and my lips.”, he breathed, leaning down, “I know you want me.”, Nyx whispered and kissed you passionately that you melted underneath him. Like you always did.

*

And Nyx was right. You were delayed and you apologized a hundred times to your dad but as you mentioned Nyx, your dad was understanding and brushed it off with a smile and a bunch of questions about Nyx and how he would be doing. In fact, since the wedding two months ago, your whole life had taken a complete turn.

After the wedding, Nyx stayed the night. And the next night. And the night after that. Quickly, the two of you had developed a deep, loving and strong relationship and three weeks later, you followed your heart: you had asked Nyx to move in with you. You didn't need much persuasion because Nyx was looking forward to being able to spend more time with you.

Your mother had called you after the wedding, scolding you for your behavior and how you could dare to bring a refugee as a date. But quickly, you gave her a talk about how bigoted she was and that she had to be more open minded if she wanted to keep you in her life. Very slowly, she realized that you meant what you said and gave in. She needed a bit more time but after a while she started to like Nyx, too.

It was helpful that your dad liked Nyx from the start. After the wedding, your dad had called you to congratulate you for your impressive act in front of your mother before you had left. In fact, he also had heard your little speech you had given Matt as you had defended Nyx and was proud about this as well. You had been speechless because til this day, you never had thought your dad would be proud about anything you ever did. And because the ice was broken between you and him, you talked about everything.

So, three weeks after the wedding, as you, Nyx, Pelna, Libertus and Crowe sat at Yamachang’s, you came up with an idea. You loved spending time with Nyx, Crowe and the others. You loved being in the underground of Insomnia where the refugees were living. You loved the different foods and the music, the atmosphere was unique and exotic but the circumstances the refugees had to live in were questionable. So, you had the idea to do something against it. You were already a big fan of the different cultures and you were convinced Insomnia would benefit as a city if it would use this unknown knowledge.

And with the help and support of your dad, who was hooked by your idea immediately, you started and planned a foundation to help the refugees. The infrastructure of the underground had to be changed and some things had to get modernised while the heart and the soul of everything had to be preserved.

You never congratulated Matt on his wedding and if he was at family meetings, you just refused to come as well. Your mother was raging. Your dad had your back with the most creative excuses. But now and then, when you were awake at night, and while you were watching Nyx sleeping next to you peacefully, you thanked Matt for cheating on you. Otherwise, you would never have found this treasure of a man who had turned your world upside down.

You never thanked Crowe for setting you up with Nyx and you didn’t have to because you knew she was already proud of her matchmaking skills. To see two of her best friends finding happiness and love in each other was enough regard for her.

Because in the end, she had done nothing more than finding a fake date for you, a friend in need…

[cruciatusforeplay]

This is part two of a hella big post. Check out part one here. These are all a lot more recent, so I'm gonna try to be less spoilery, but there are gonna be some.

A not-so-brief history of Hawkeye in Comics Part Two (spoilers below the cut)

A note on events, dying and doubling down on Hawkeyes

Comics love doing big events, and I'm not covering them in here. Partly because they are huge and complex and to just focus on Hawkeye would be an injustice to the stories, but also because the amount of stuff I would need to spoil would be way beyond just a little Hawkeye. Clint was involved in Secret Wars (1984), which was one of the first crossover events of its kind. Another notable era is 2004-2009, where there is an incredible amount of superhero politics driving big narratives. If you're new to comics, you might not know that characters dying is common and rarely permanent. This is relevant because while I said that I wouldn't talk about events, I think it would be pretty uncool to not mention that Hawkeye dies and is brought back to life (Avengers Disassembled, House of M, New Avengers #26). It's around here that Clint picks up the Ronin mantle.

This is also when Dark Reign/Dark Avengers is going on. For anyone who'd like some Clint whump from this era, there's a top notch naked torture scene in New Avengers Annual (2009). Clint is involved in several other big events and crossovers over later years, but that's definitely a seperate list.

In the time where Clint is dead, Captain America is hanging out with a group of newly formed Young Avengers, including archery badass Kate Bishop. Cap suggests to her that she take up the Hawkeye mantle and gives her Clint's old bow. After Clint returns, he becomes initially her mentor, before they form a very close friendship. Clint is initially doing Ronin things, but even when he lays down ninja robes, they decide to be very Hawkeye about the whole thing and both keep calling themselves Hawkeye, despite the obvious confusion this causes.

Hawkeye's ears: Hawkeye vs. Deadpool #0-4 (2014)

This is a fun little miniseries that you could treat as a Halloween special if you so desired. It's set in the time after Fraction's run and there are a few callbacks, but nothing major if you've not read that. Clint is a little short-tempered and hypermasculine in this run for my personal taste, but it's got lots of grumpy Clint Vs sassy Wade while they vaguely attempt to team up. The thing this run does really well is Clint's deafness, despite the lack of visible hearing aids. There are comments around lip-reading, wearing aids when wearing other headgear, there's some sign language, and this is the run where Deadpool pulls his mask up so Clint can lipread and see his face while he signs (facial expressions are really key in sign language). It's lovely. Otherwise the run gives you a Kate cameo, some Deadpool and Hawkeye disaster/shenanigans, and perhaps most importantly, the return of the skycycle.

Key background: All New Hawkeye #1-6 (2015)

This run is often overlooked, but the art in the flashbacks is beautiful. We get some key information around Clint and Barney's abusive home situation - with their dad who drank and beat them, and how they ended up in care after their parents died, and subsequently their early days in the circus. There is a definite shift in how Barney is characterized as a bad influence compared to the 2003 run. It parallels with the rest of the arc which focuses on Clint and Kate Bishop working together to get some kids out of a very bad situation. The rest of Lemires run is a little weird and has no major repurcussions for anyone except Barney (which I won't elaborate on because it's relevant to the Fraction run).

Back to your roots: Tales of Suspense #100-104 (2017)

Seeing Clint cycle back and return to Tales of Suspense is really lovely. This comic is one of my all time favourites. It's incredibly tight story-telling with a great plot and really fun dynamic. The premise is Clint and Bucky teaming up to figure out the body trail being left after Black Widow's death. Clint is obnoxious and a delightful mess, Bucky is sporting a permanent scowl and is hilariously level-headed. It's a lot of fun and it's a lovely build on the tension and teamwork between these two idiots (who I, as an avid Winterhawk shipper, am completely gone for, but even without that, this is a great comic.) It also has some killer covers, and the facial expressions are absolutely hilarious.

Hawkeyes together: Hawkeye #13-16 (2017) and West Coast Avengers #1-10 (2018)

The Hawkeye run is Kate Bishops run and it has a larger continuing storyline that runs from the beginning of her Hawkeye and way into WCA, but I've listed the issues that you'll want for Kate and Clint shenanigans, and you should be able to catch up without the rest if you don't want it. These comics are ridiculously fun, especially West Coast Avengers, which has Kate leading the team this time. There's loads of jokes, and it strikes a nice balance between Hawkeyes being disasters and being hyper competent. Truthfully, this is Kate's show, and Clint takes a backseat, but their dynamic is killer here so I think is deserves a mention. There are also plenty of Clint related wardrobe malfunctions and Lucky the Pizza Dog is around.

Our most recent boy: Hawkeye freefall #1-6 (2020)

I haven't read this one yet, but it's been extremely well received by the fandom. As a result, good news: no spoilers! It's a short run, which may have had something to do with it being published during 2020, and specifically around a time when Marvel were experiencing some major distribution issues (which would have led to digital release only and as a result lower sales), but that's all guesswork because I haven't actually researched it. This run has someone dressing as Ronin and letting Clint take the blame for their nefarious deeds (oh no!). Clint makes some classic Clint (read: dumpster fire) decisions, and the art looks fun and vibrant. Can't really give you more without reading it myself 😅 If you need more Clint still, he's also rumoured to be knocking around in the 2020 Black Widow run, but I've not had the money to get my mitts on that yet either.

Notable AUs:

Marvel is a big fan of throwing a well known cast into an alternative universes, so there are a few other places to look for him.

The Ultimates universe was largely speaking a bit of a shitshow, but they did give us a very dark and gritty Clint, so if that's your jam, ultimate hawkeye is the place to be. Old Man Hawkeye appears alongside Old Man Logan, and they are both, you guessed it, old. It's not the only time we get Clint as a wrinkly dude (the second half Lemire's run also has some timey-wimey stuff happening), but this is a version of Clint who is going blind (granted we've seen that before too, but this is a darker vibe than Blindspot). Wanna know who the greatest marksman is without his sight - old man Hawkeye for you! Finally there's the Zombie 'verse: zombie Clint is a little confused, but he's got the spirit. Clint got zombiefied and then left in some rubble as only a head for 40 years before getting picked up, so he's a little worse for wear. If you need that in your life then Marvel Zombies is your universe. For a full rundown of all the universes including animated and MCU, click here.

Notable aliases:

Clint's been a few other people than Hawkeye in the 616 universe (the main Marvel Comics universe). He used one of Hank Pyms growth serums and became a giant strongman in Avengers #63 (1969) and stuck around in his Goliath form for more than a few issues. After Cap had died, Clint returned from the dead and tried on Captain America for all of one issue in Fallen Son #3 (2007). He decided (with a little help from Kate) that it wasn't right to wear the uniform, which in turn led to some interesting tension between him and Bucky Barnes when Buck did become the new Captain America. Finally, there's his most well-known alternate persona: Ronin. Clint becomes Ronin after returning from the dead, wanting a break from his Hawkeye persona and an opportunity to become Ronin arises in New Avengers #27 (2007). Clint is not the only person to have used these aliases. Additionally, Hawkeye has been used not only by Clint and Kate Bishop, but also by Bullseye during the Dark Reign.

The things we haven't talked about

Like I said at the very beginning, there is a lot of Clint Barton knocking around in comics and even with all this there's a lot of content I haven't focused on. For instance, I've not talked a lot about his relationships, beyond his marriage to mockingbird (and really I only scratched the surface with that), and honestly once you start getting into interpersonal relationships we're starting to move on from what can be done in a Tumblr thread.

There are also some topic specific threads floating around, which you might like to look at too.

@vaguelyrotten has done a run down of some great dumpster fire Clint Barton comics (some of which I haven't listed) and you can see that here.

@bobbimorses did a great summary of Clint's historical deafness for instance which you can find here.

There's also this little bit all about Clint and Bucky in canon (thanks to @nightwideopen ) and how Winterhawk became a thing (thanks to @1000-directions )

This is slight sidenote, but @clintscoffeepot did a really great comprehensive of Fraction Clint's apartment which is just a really useful writing resource and you can get that here.

There is also this website which I stumbled across fairly far into writing this post which does actually look like it might be comprehensive.

If I've missed anything major, or listed something incorrectly or you just have some Clint related opinions that I need to know about, do hit me up.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Are you back safely? Rio: and when can you come back home Buster: I was just about to message you saying I was Buster: Great minds, babe Buster: I'll be back at the end of the month for that reading week bullshit I told you about Rio: Good Rio: I mean, still sad but glad you're back Rio: that's not too bad Rio: I can do that Buster: I'm not sure I can Buster: I miss you already Buster: Even though I feel like I can also still feel you Rio: Trying to be brave, like Rio: I feel it too Rio: everything still smells of you, it's so nice Buster: My clothes do so I'm wearing them again, like Buster: Don't judge me if you see me, dad Rio: Baby Rio: Did you have a good time Buster: You know I had the best time Buster: With you Rio: Me too Rio: I'm glad we got to be alone, most of the time, like Buster: Me too Buster: I'm sure my mum ain't, but I don't care Rio: You did your nephew duties and saw the kid Rio: she want you on the night shift, like? Buster: She probably wanted me not to be quite so brazen about how much I missed you Buster: And what I was really home for Buster: I'm not sorry though Rio: Probably Rio: but I liked it Rio: a lot Buster: Yeah? Rio: You know I did Rio: or you need to come back so I can show you again Buster: I reckon I need to come back Buster: Right now Rio: Mmm Rio: Just avoid your mum and we'll be fine Buster: Easy Rio: you reckon? Rio: pretty dedicated to getting you to behave Buster: So are you Rio: Yeah Rio: don't want me coming for her 👑 Buster: I want you more than anything though Rio: I know Rio: You got me baby Buster: It wasn't enough time Rio: It never is Buster: Everything we did I need to do it more Rio: I need to do it all the time Buster: I love you Rio: I love you more Rio: can it be May already Rio: please Buster: Seriously Buster: I'm gonna go insane before then Rio: No you're not Rio: I won't let you Rio: you're gonna ace all your exams Buster: I can join my sister, twinning in therapy Buster: This house is so empty right now and it's such a waste Buster: You could be here, you should be Rio: Ooh, family therapy Rio: That'd be a moment Rio: I wish I was Rio: no fun coming back to an empty home if you can't make the most of it Buster: Imagine my fucking parents in a shrink's office Buster: Hilarious Buster: We can make the most of it still, just not exactly how I want Rio: The therapist would need therapy their self Rio: Fucking hell Rio: Yeah? Well that's something Buster: Nance is probably the only one of us who can handle it Buster: And she reckons she needs it most Rio: It's a good thing, right Rio: gotta want the help for it to work Buster: Yeah Buster: I just want her to be happy Buster: Like I am Rio: Yeah Rio: She will be baby Buster: You're happy too, yeah? Buster: Even though you don't have a flat yet Buster: And I'm gone again Rio: Of course I am Rio: I'm so happy it doesn't seem possible sometimes Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause you know you can tell me if there's anything Buster: I know shit's still in a state there Buster: And Edie isn't back Rio joined the chat 32 hours ago Rio: You can't make her come back Rio: no one can Rio: she will when she's ready Buster joined the chat 32 hours ago Buster: I know Buster: But I could talk to her again or some shit Buster: There's always things I can do, babe Rio: You reckon you're that convincing, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: You know I am Rio: You're cute Buster: 😏 Buster: Can I make you come back? Buster: That's all I want Rio: Hmm idk Rio: I remain unconvinced as of yet so Buster: [sends pics in his empty gaff] Buster: Yeah? Rio: Stop 😖 Rio: Tryna play hard to get here Buster: Why play hard to get when you can get on a plane for me, baby? Rio: I really wish I could Buster: You can Rio: Can I now? Buster: Please Rio: What was that, babe Buster: Rio Buster: Please Rio: 🤤 Rio: Jesus Buster: Say yes Rio: Yes Buster: See, it doesn't have to be hard Buster: We can play so nice Rio: How nice are we talking? Buster: Book a flight and find out Rio: Indie's taking the piss so hard Buster: Bring her Buster: It's not like we haven't been there before Rio: Nah, she finally staying in School Rio: and she loves the baby so she good Buster: Typical Buster: I bet Ro don't love the enthusiasm but I'm here for it Rio: Nah, but that's what she needs is people who won't take no for an answer otherwise she's gonna be weird about it Rio: s'why my mum was a good choice, plus Ro knows she can do it Rio: least that bit, once we get a personality she fucked it up obvs Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: Is Indie gonna stay there or with you lot still? Rio: I think here Rio: she's still not buzzin' off the idea of living with Ro Rio: who can blame her Buster: Not me Buster: I know Nance toyed with the idea but even she ain't that much of a martyr for the cause, like Buster: I'm flat hunting for you now, Indie'll be buzzing about that at least Rio: I don't think it's a good idea, the faster it gets back to normal the faster she'll get used to it Rio: if she wants 24hr care she knows what to do, like Rio: Well now I have to come Buster: Agreed, on all counts Buster: [sends some flat details] is this too far from Indie's comfort zone of the 24? Rio: I reckon she's ready for better Rio: it's really nice Rio: I need to work out how much I can afford pcm before we properly look though Buster: Maybe I should look nearer Ro's since she loves the kid so much Buster: Babe, you know I got you Rio: Yeah, that'd be nice for her actually Rio: assuming Drew sorts his shit, he'll also wanna be around there right Rio: big assumption but you never know Rio: and you aren't paying my rent, don't be stupid Buster: Where do you wanna live, baby? That's what matters to me Buster: And yeah I can, 'Cause then I get to move in Buster: Selfish always, remember Rio: Then you can pay your half, no more Rio: nearer actual Dublin Rio: it's only half an hour but it'll make a difference Buster: Yeah Buster: Do you like this one? [Another listing] it's a bit small but Rio: How many people you planning on moving in? 😂 Buster: I'm not trying to live in a shoe box Buster: You know how many clothes I own, yeah? Rio: Such a diva 😏 Buster: You love me Rio: Good thing too Buster: Are you not gonna say it? Rude Rio: Find a better flat and I might 😉 Buster: So high maintenance Buster: But fine Buster: I actually like this one [A good flat] Rio: That's a good one Rio: I should go see that Rio: it's so difficult to get places in town you have to move fast, like Buster: I'll call 'em now Buster: Use my posh voice Rio: Bit rude insinuating you got more clout than me 'cos I'm common but okay Buster: Shut up Buster: If you wanna seduce an old lady to get a decent home then go ahead Buster: I know when my heroics aren't wanted Rio: Awh baby Rio: Please Rio: you know I love you Buster: Yeah yeah Rio: 💔 Rio: boo Buster: Shh I'm on the phone Buster: So busy and important Rio: 😣 Fine Rio: Be like that Buster: 😂 Buster: Tell me you love me again Rio: Only if you love me back Buster: Baby Buster: I adore you Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I love you too Buster: The woman is gonna phone you tomorrow about when you can view the flat so let me know, like Rio: I'm excited Buster: Take pics for me Rio: Of course Rio: Oh shit Rio: are we allowed pets Buster: It didn't say anywhere that you weren't, which I feel like she would have mad a big deal of if not? Rio: Let's hope so Rio: it's pretty well-trained Rio: better than Indie lbr Buster: I'm glad you said it Rio: Don't be mean now Buster: How I am being mean, you said it, I'm just agreeing, like Rio: Shh Rio: I'm allowed Rio: you're the one that reckons you can live with her 😏 Buster: That's just how much I wanna live with you Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I wanna live with you too Rio: a lot Buster: I'm just saying it so we don't have to meet my mum on the stairs Buster: Though that'll be good Rio: Yeah, anything I can do to not be her least favourite person, like Buster: You're not her least fave person Buster: That's Drew and then Ro Rio: Coming in 3rd is not okay Rio: go big or go home Rio: rather be off the list, like Buster: Come on Buster: You're not on the list Buster: Chlo is but not you Rio: Well Rio: that's even worse Buster: Do you want her to hate you? Rio: I'm mad she's thinking about Chloe more than me Rio: Offensive Buster: I'm not getting you pregnant so you can switch places on the list Rio: Shut up Buster: I didn't reckon that needed to be said but here we are Rio: You're an idiot Buster: And you miss me Rio: Not that much Rio: don't worry Buster: Good to know Rio: Only so many scandals before the inevitable intervention Buster: There should be a list of people in this fam who need one before we do, like Rio: Yeah but you know Rio: we the oldest, gotta set a good example Buster: Technically Nance is older than me Rio: You reckon we off the hook then? Rio: Soz, babe 🤷 Buster: If only Buster: I have so much homework to do and I can feel my mum's judgement from Dublin Rio: Poor boy Rio: Gotta let you focus then Buster: Don't Buster: I won't be able to stop thinking about you if we aren't talking Rio: Okay, I'll have to come at you with facts Rio: walking encyclopedia Buster: You're such a cute nerd Rio: Oi Rio: Don't get distracted Buster: It's not my fault you're adorable Rio: Shh or I'll whip out my serious face Buster: Yeah? Buster: I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: [Dorky selfie] Rio: I warned you Buster: I'm keeping that forever Rio: Of all the pictures Buster: Well, I can't show most of them to anyone else Buster: But that one I can Rio: 😒 BABE Buster: 😂 Rio: So mean Rio: I look so stupid you better not Buster: [Takes own ridiculous selfie] Buster: We're even now Rio: You're so fair Rio: and cute Rio: I miss you Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: It'd be amazing if we had a place for when you come back end of the month Buster: That's my plan, babe Buster: Then we can be as loud as we want Rio: Good Rio: we're gonna need to Buster: I know Buster: No interruptions except Indie's cute dog Rio: Hey Rio: I want all your attention though 😔 Buster: Poor baby Buster: I promise you've got it Rio: I better Rio: or I gotta work harder Buster: Believe me, I'm so focused on you right now I've read the same page like 5 times Rio: I don't know how you get anything done forreal Buster: You motivate me as well as distract me Buster: You know it Rio: I hope so Buster: You do Buster: Everything I'm doing now is for us later Rio: You're going to be so good at your job Buster: I'm gonna be so good for you too Buster: Everything's gonna work out perfect Rio: I know Rio: and I'm having some ideas too Rio: for what I'm gonna do long term Buster: Yeah? Buster: Tell me Rio: Well, it was talking to your sister that gave me the idea Rio: and all the time I been spending at the gay clubs Rio: obviously I'll have to work out the logistics, start small and make all the connections along the way Rio: but there's no big company like the pornhub people, who make like Rio: actual decent stuff, for everyone, with all kinds of different people in it Rio: I wanna do something like that, and maybe have a IRL club too, similar vibe Buster: Fuck Buster: That's such a good idea, Rio Rio: You think so? Rio: I've been thinking on it for a while, like why not, there's a huge gap in the market, especially for women, like so many girls don't like porn because half of it is lowkey so abusive towards the women like Rio: they don't wanna see that Buster: You're so right Buster: And so smart Rio: I'm gonna try and make it happen Rio: why not me, yeah? Rio: the pornhub guy was just some kid, mark zuckerberg, whatever Buster: Exactly Buster: And you know I'll help you Buster: Whatever you need Rio: Thanks, baby Rio: I know it'll take time but I already know lots of other camgirls and pole dancers and all sorts Rio: Maybe they'll be into it Buster: And you got time Buster: No half measures, yeah? Buster: If you're gonna do it, do it well Rio: Definitely Rio: Let's be real, I make enough from my streaming alone, never mind with a club job too Rio: I just wanna be doing more, making it into something Buster: Yeah Buster: You know I fucking love money but you gotta do something you give a shit about too Buster: Everything with passion, like Buster: Or why bother Rio: Exactly Rio: I knew you'd understand Rio: I know some people won't like it but just the people that already don't like what I do Rio: so Buster: Fuck them Buster: You can do this and if you wanna you will Buster: You don't even need me for it but you got me Rio: I love you Rio: you get me Buster: I always have and I always will, babe Buster: On both counts Rio: I'm so happy Rio: I know I'm ignoring so much shit but Rio: it ain't mine so sorry everyone Buster: You're allowed Buster: You've literally spent so long taking on theirs too Rio: It's not like I don't care but Rio: it's exhausting, everyone is burning out Rio: that's why I'm glad Nance is doing something about it, for her Rio: we are too, just different Buster: Yeah me too Buster: Uni will help Nance as well 'cause I reckon she'll go further afield like Buster: New people and new shit is what she needs Rio: Yeah, definitely Rio: School is just shit, and really shit for some people Rio: she'll thrive when everyone on her course is nerding on the same stuff, it's how it is Buster: Exactly Rio: like my baby Buster: You're cute Rio: I'm serious Rio: Imagine having friends actually on your level Rio: well, nearly Buster: I was gonna say Buster: You're the only one on my level, babe Rio: Too right Rio: only so much room at the top lads Buster: You're making me miss you so much Rio: I know Rio: but I can't come see you now, gotta get us our place baby Buster: I really hope you like it Buster: Then I'll make it happen for us Rio: As long as it's got two rooms and isn't in a shithole, like Rio: doing better than I was so Rio: but I'll make sure it's worth the price Buster: I know you will Buster: You got this Rio: I can't believe we get to have all this Buster: I can't believe I get to be with you Buster: Everything else is just a bonus, like Rio: I know Rio: it's the best Buster: I'm gonna marry you and we're gonna have our own house Buster: So soon Buster: But as stepping stones go, this is such a good one Rio: Yeah Rio: Agreed Rio: but now I'm too excited to do anything useful with the rest of my day Rio: oops Buster: Feel free to distract me Buster: I won't tell my mum Buster: That's always very useful to me Rio: 😏 Rio: Glad to know you've got the bragging under control, babe Buster: Less of a brag more of a death wish if I go chatting to her Buster: But cheers Rio: Best not then Rio: need you to stick around, like Buster: I'm not going anywhere Rio: Promise Buster: On the life you want me to keep living Rio: I hope that doesn't cancel it out Rio: got my maths brain worried but good Buster: There's nothing to worry about Buster: Everything's going good for us, babe Rio: Yeah Rio: suspect but not gonna question it Buster: Good Buster: Don't Rio: 🤐 Rio: see? Buster: You're not planning to keep quiet on anything else, are you? Rio: Not unless you want me to Rio: but then you gotta make me like so Buster: That's not what I want Rio: Then I won't Buster: I want you to be loud enough that I forget I'm alone here Rio: Sure between us we can make that happen Buster: Call me Rio: [Call] Buster: I'm speechless now Rio: Yeah, fuck Rio: at least you can concentrate 'cos imma need a minute Buster: I'm gonna need a while too Buster: Jesus Rio: How'd you get so good Buster: Take your share of the credit Buster: Not just for teaching me how to kiss, like Rio: Happily Rio: I love you baby Buster: I love you too Buster: Do you reckon there'll ever be a time when we don't crave each other like this? Are we gonna turn into one of those couples who just sit on their phones or read in bed together or some shit? Rio: Nah Rio: that ain't ever gonna be us Rio: not that I don't like just being with you but even then I wanna be WITH you, like you holding me and stuff Rio: or what's the point Buster: Good 'cause same Buster: I wanna kiss you all the time never mind anything else Rio: There'd be something wrong if you didn't Rio: everything I do is so you'll want me Rio: not gonna just give up one day, not that bitch Buster: Me either Buster: Never Rio: That's alright then Rio: Not saying I'd be serving you papers for bed death but well Rio: have to take up knitting or something and fuck that Buster: 😂 Buster: You can only serve me papers if I lose my hair Buster: 'Cause you know Rio: Priorities Rio: Why else would I be with ya? Buster: Obviously Buster: That and this body, which you know, also could go Rio: Nah, totally impartial to a dad bod 😜 Buster: Good to know Rio: 😂 Rio: Go on then Rio: what's my side of the bargain, what have I gotta keep up or go, like Buster: Just don't let your little sister straighten your hair, ever Buster: Leave it to my sister to be her guinea pig, like Rio: Right, do my best to avoid her advances Rio: shouldn't be too hard 😏 Buster: That's all I ask Buster: You don't look like you and I love you so Rio: Babe Rio: You're too sweet for words Buster: Shh Buster: You're too beautiful for words Rio: You shh Rio: Silly Buster: I'm honest and smart, excuse you Rio: Buster McKenna, in his own words, everyone 😋 Buster: Nah, if I was summing myself up I could do way better Buster: I'm just saying I'm right about how stunning you are Rio: Don't let me stop you, babe Rio: Be there with the applause and everything Buster: Behave Rio: Can't make me Buster: Well, we both know THAT'S not true, babe Rio: 😣 Buster: Poor baby Rio: Be nice to me Buster: Say please Rio: 😠 Don't wanna Rio: don't you remember how nice I was to you on that call Buster: Of course I do Buster: I want you to keep being nice to me Buster: That's all Buster: I'll say it first Buster: Please Rio: I'm just playing baby Rio: I always wanna be nice Rio: please please please Buster: You don't always have to Buster: But okay Rio: I know Rio: I just like being nice to you Buster: Me too Rio: Feels good Rio: doesn't it Buster: Very Rio: How's it possible that I feel so rested when we barely got any sleep whilst you were here? Buster: I know what you mean Buster: Maybe it's like you said, 'cause we sleep so much better when we're together Rio: Yeah Rio: it's gonna be hard tonight Buster: I'll call you again Buster: We can stay on the line together Rio: Yeah Rio: I'll just miss feeling you Rio: it's always worst when you've just gone Rio: not that it's ever that good but you know Buster: I know, baby Buster: I feel it too Buster: But we can do this Rio: We can Rio: it's gonna be so worth it Rio: we ain't gonna even remember this bullshit soon Rio: when we're together always Buster: Exactly Buster: And then anywhere I have to go you can come with me Buster: And vice versa Rio: Yeah Rio: and we're going to go everywhere, right? Buster: 'Course Rio: Starting this summer Rio: if I can ever narrow down my choices Buster: How long is the list? Rio: [Sends various links to places, one of being Brazil 'cos they should go to Brazil] Buster: I reckon that's doable Buster: I have a long summer, like Rio: 😏 World tour is it? Buster: Why not? Buster: Which place do you wanna get married in? Rio: I'm going to Milan with Nance, for one Rio: I don't know when she wants to go Rio: Are you serious? Buster: Get that scheduled in first, obviously Buster: She needs a holiday too Buster: I meant it when I said we should get married now and then again later, yeah Buster: And that I'd marry you anywhere in the world Rio: I mean Rio: It'd be special for me to do it in Brazil Buster: Then let's do it Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: There's gotta be a catch Buster: What? Rio: There's no way I can just get everything I want Rio: it's crazy Buster: You deserve it Buster: That's enough of a reason Rio: Baby Buster: Yeah? Rio: Nothing Rio: it just trips me out that this is my life Buster: It's not too much, right? Buster: It's not too much, right? Buster: We don't have to do this Rio: No, that's not what I'm saying Rio: it's perfect, it's everything Rio: I just can't believe it's real, still Buster: Good 'cause I'm really fucking happy about it all Rio: That's all I need to hear Rio: if you're happy I'm happy babe Buster: I mean, I'd be happier if we were together in this flat right now but Buster: Patience is a virtue, like Rio: 😇 Rio: Polish that halo, boy Buster: 😏 Rio: I can't wait for some actual privacy Rio: I forgot how constant this house is, always someone about, good and bad thing Buster: I can't believe I'm saying this but I can't wait to have people around Buster: Even if one of them is Indie Rio: You love her really Buster: 🤐 Buster: Saying nothing, like Buster: I don't want you to fight me Rio: Sure, that's what it is 😜 Buster: Shh Rio: The feeling's mutual, it's okay baby Buster: Well yeah Buster: I'm very loveable Rio: Not gonna argue, like Rio: can't Buster: I know Rio: 😏 Buster: Make me do this fucking essay 'cause you're an angel and I don't want to Rio: No problem Rio: How boring is it, scale 1-10 like, what am I up against here Buster: Like 7 Buster: But it's only 3500 word count Buster: I'm aware I could piss that out before you say but Rio: I'm not gonna say that baby Rio: Break it down into 500, that's 7 rewards you got coming your way Rio: every one will be better than the last, go go go, like Rio: Lemme send you something for motivation to get going Buster: I knew you'd be full of good ideas Rio: It's been known Rio: [Snap] Buster: Babe Rio: That doesn't count toward your word count, you know Buster: It should Rio: It counts toward making me miss you more Buster: I'll take that Rio: You done 500? Buster: 600 actually Rio: Damn Rio: get you Rio: now I'm behind in your rewarding, hold up Buster: Ready when you are, babe Rio: [Snap] Buster: Who could refuse an offer like that? Not me Rio: Good, cos I'm omw so Rio: kinda gutting if I'm working out for nothing 😜 Buster: Don't worry I'm already on 800 Buster: Easy when you find your focus, like Rio: Easy when you so smart Buster: Even easier when my girl is so sexy Rio: All for you daddy Buster: You're so generous, baby Rio: Nah, you earning it with every word you write, like Buster: You haven't read it, it might be shite Rio: Well, it won't 'cos you're incapable of being crap at anything, one Rio: but two, I ain't marking it, boy, just seeing you get it done Rio: that was my job Buster: Yeah yeah, you're the one getting graded this time, I know Buster: Scoring for making me blush with that compliment Rio: You know you're good baby Rio: and you know how good I think you are Buster: But do you know how good you are? Rio: Hmm, tell me again Buster: You're the best Buster: My angel Rio: 😻 Rio: Gonna shh with how you're making me feel 'cos not here to be distracting right now Buster: I just hit 1000 you can be as distracting as you want Buster: Tell me Rio: Fuck Rio: It's legitimately such a turn-on how hard you work, no playing Buster: Yeah? Rio: Seriously Rio: like, I want you to finish up so you can fuck me just as hard but also I just wanna support you whilst you do your thing Rio: so whipped Buster: Are you gonna be mad if I take a sec to think about that? Rio: No, you're allowed to take time to enjoy all your rewards Buster: Good 'cause the idea of fucking you in the gym right now is very rewarding Rio: Barely anyone is here, we so could Rio: afterwards, when we're all hot and sweaty and pumped up Buster: It could be full of people and I still would Rio: That's why I love you Rio: just thinking about you working out and I'm needy so if I actually had you here you'd have to fuck me no matter what Buster: I can't ever get over how much you want me Buster: Just thinking about how you're feeling is making me so turned on Rio: How could I not Rio: look at you you're perfect Rio: I'm glad no one is here because you can tell I'm horny just by looking at me Buster: You're perfect Buster: And I wish I was there Rio: Me too, maybe you could show me how to use some of these machines, so you could shamelessly check me out Buster: You know it Rio: but for now, I'll be here dreaming, you get back to writing Buster: Less dreaming more working out, babe Rio: 🤤 Rio: that's not helping Buster: You gotta work up a sweat for me one way or another Buster: And since I'm here being a busy nerd Rio: You're right Rio: I'm on it baby Buster: Yeah you are Buster: Thinking about that has me taking layers off Buster: In the kitchen topless again Rio: Oh God Rio: Daddy 😩 Rio: Thinking about that has me grinding up on this seat Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: I reckon you've earned these Rio: How do I earn more damn Buster: Keep doing what you're doing, babe Buster: 200 words until I reach my next target Rio: Then you're over half way Rio: 🙌 you get something special for that one Buster: Spoilers? Rio: Maybe I brought the toy and maybe I want you to use the app Rio: Get to have me here after-all Buster: Fuck Rio: and maybe when you finish you get to see the video so you know exactly how you had me Rio: sound good? Buster: So good Buster: You really do think of everything, yeah? Rio: I try Buster: You try so hard, baby Buster: I know it and I appreciate it Rio: 😊 Rio: You're so fucking nice and even that's turning me on right now I just need you, Buster Buster: I love you Buster: And don't worry 'cause I try too so we're at the necessary word count, baby Rio: Yay Rio: I knew you'd come through for me Buster: Always Rio: It was getting so hard to concentrate at the end there Buster: For me too Rio: So proud of you 😋 Buster: I'm prouder of you Buster: [Goes hard with this app 'cause no chill ever] Rio joined the chat 5 hours ago Rio: Well fuck Rio: I'm dead Buster: Poor baby Rio: You're not even a little bit sorry Buster: Should I be? Buster: I don't reckon so Rio: 😏 Rio: At least feel bad for me 'cos I've gotta somehow drive home now Rio: legs are so weak from how bad you got me shaking Buster: You know I'd come and get you if I could Rio: Yeah, you love carrying me Buster: Don't act like you don't love it too Rio: 👑 don't walk, babe Buster: Are you gonna offer to carry me then? 😏 Rio: Are YOU trying to kill us both? I'm sorry but you too big Rio: but you can be little spoon sometimes and I won't tell nobody Buster: 😂 Rio: Don't act like you don't love it, babe Rio: 😉 Buster: Being little spoon or you being the tiniest human ever? Rio: Both Rio: although I doubt and take offence to the latter statement, thank you Buster: You're so cute 👼 Buster: A tiny baby angel Rio: and you're my daddy, you make me feel so safe and protected and Buster: God, I miss you Buster: I wanna be with you not stuck in this kitchen with this boring essay Rio: I can't believe you only just left Rio: it feels forever Buster: Yeah Buster: Come get in my lap and kiss me Buster: That's all I want Rio: Me too Rio: Maybe I will if I've got good news to tell you 'bout the flat Buster: It'll be good news Buster: I feel it Rio: 🤞 Buster: 🍀 Rio: Thanks Buster: What for? Rio: Just being you Rio: that was lame Rio: but I felt it Buster: Are you trying to make me blush again? Rio: Is it working Rio: then yes Buster: [sends cute selfie as proof] Rio: 😲😍💀 Rio: Reaction, in order, bye Buster: 😂 Buster: I'll let you show that one around then Rio: It's just for me Rio: tryna 'cause chaos out here no Buster: You're funny Rio: You better not be showing your blushes 'round Rio: 😠 Buster: I'm only doing it around you so you better make sure we're alone Rio: That's the plan Buster: Good Buster: You know I like the way you think Rio: What else you like about me? Buster: Oh you want the list now, yeah? Rio: .. Rio: Please 😋 Buster: I like how well you can keep up with me and get me Buster: Especially as I approach 2k on this essay Buster: You're so much fun Buster: But also such a fucking adorable nerd Rio: I love you Rio: so fucking much Buster: How much? Buster: What are you gonna do for me as my next reward? Rio: Well, gotta wait 'til I get home Rio: and I'm stuck in traffic 🙄 Buster: I'll put my feet up then Buster: Or keep going and get double? Rio: Who are you if you don't try Buster: Nicely done, babe Buster: Alright Rio: [Snap] Rio: home again home again Buster: I don't know what to say Buster: You're so Rio: but you don't hate it, yeah? Buster: I love it, Rio Rio: Good Rio: I like having as many reminders of you as possible Buster: I love it too Buster: Maybe I should ask Indie who did her tattoo for her, like Rio: 😏 Yeah yeah Buster: You think I'm playing? Rio: Are you? Buster: Probably not gonna go to whoever Indie went to but Buster: I could always ask your mum to do it, yeah? Rio: God knows who tatted a 14 year old, but I don't think it is a recc or to their credit, like 😑 Rio: You could, depends what you want really Buster: Exactly Rio: Although I don't think I can let this happen Rio: you're already too hot, if you get tatted up I might not survive Buster: 😏 Buster: All the incentive I need Rio: Should I be worried? Rio: I'm meant to be pushing you off cliffs for the 💸 Buster: 😂

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I've left her in Coppers. Where are you? Rio: Fuck off Buster: I'd rather fuck you Buster: Come on Rio: Don't care what you'd rather Rio: I'm busy Buster: What's the matter? Buster: You know you ain't too busy for me Rio: I am though Rio: And don't even ask that Buster: Who with? Buster: I'll ask that then Rio: What's it to you Buster: You know what it is to me Buster: Tell me Rio: Just 'cos I could keep constant tabs on you and yours doesn't mean I've gotta extend the 'favour' Buster: I'm not asking for favours Buster: It's an easy enough question, babe Rio: Bitch, why the fuck are you here then? Buster: Why are you being a bitch? Buster: I miss you Rio: Don't Rio: because you don't Buster: I just fucking told you I do Rio: Yeah, stopped taking you at your word a while back, McKenna Buster: Fuck you Buster: Don't be like this Rio: Fuck me? Rio: Fuck you Buster: Calm down, yeah? Buster: Just talk to me Rio: About what? Rio: What do we have to talk about? Buster: What are you so mad about, for one thing Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Rio: You aren't that thick, don't act like it Buster: I get that you're jealous, but come on Buster: I wanna see you Rio: Jealous? Nah Rio: I'm fucking furious Buster: Don't lie Rio: It's not a game, Buster Rio: You wanna cheat on your girlfriend, do it with someone else Buster: It's not like that Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: No, it is Rio: Deal with it Rio: Are you that deluded that you think this is alright? Buster: It was alright with you before Rio: It wasn't Rio: happened, doesn't mean it should've Buster: How are we back at should's again? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Because you SHOULD take some fucking responsibility for yourself Rio: Ain't my girlfriend, I can't be loyal or let her go Buster: You want me to break up with her, is that it? Rio: It doesn't matter what I want Rio: what the fuck do you want Rio: sort that out Buster: Yeah, it does Buster: Just say it Rio: No Rio: because you'll say this now Rio: and then tomorrow morning you'll pretend it never fucking happened Buster: I'm not that drunk, babe Rio: As if that's a valid excuse Buster: I'm not making excuses Rio: Wouldn't that be a nice change Buster: Shut up Rio: Don't fucking tell me to shut up Rio: You shut up Buster: Stop trying to mess with my head Buster: Jesus Christ, Rio, what do you want from me? I'm trying Rio: Try harder Rio: How the hell are you trying? Rio: You're just doing whatever you want Rio: as usual Buster: Bullshit Rio: Please Rio: You get to have a nice respectable girlfriend and you still get to have me as your dirty little secret Buster: Don't Buster: You're being stupid Rio: You're stupid if you reckon it's anything else Rio: what the fuck do you think YOU'RE doing, Buster? Buster: I'm trying to sort things out with you Buster: If you'd let me Rio: How? Rio: You just want a fuck Buster: I want you Rio: Same thing Buster: Yeah, well, it's not like you can be my girlfriend Rio: Exactly Rio: but you've got one so well done you Buster: She's not you Buster: Like I said, I miss you Rio: That's fucked up Rio: She didn't ask for this Buster: I know Rio: You're just playing for time again Rio: You know that, yeah? Buster: It's not a game Rio: No Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Yeah Rio: well, it's something Buster: I still need you Buster: I know it's not fair Buster: But I can't help it Rio: I know Rio: I just don't know how you can convincingly fake it Rio: 'cos I sure as fuck can't Buster: I do like her Buster: Just not enough Rio: Don't tell me Rio: I don't wanna know Rio: I can't Buster: You're all I think about Rio: I'm sorry Buster: Tell me you don't still feel it Rio: I can't Rio: I should and part of me wants to because I want you to be able to be happy Rio: but I still can't because an even bigger part of me still wants you Buster: I want you too Buster: Please Buster: Even if this has to be the last time Buster: I can't just walk away Rio: It won't be the last time Buster: What do you want me to do then? Rio: Come find me Buster: Don't say that if you don't mean it Rio: Why else would I say it Buster: To fuck with me, like Rio: It's not a game Buster: Prove it Buster: Tell me where you are Rio: [Suitably shit and dangerous dive bar] Buster: What the fuck, Rio Buster: Get out of there Rio: Don't be dramatic Rio: I'm everyone's friend Rio: though yeah, probs don't come in with that accent and face, like Buster: I'm being serious Buster: move Rio: Whatever Buster: Not whatever Buster: Leave Rio: Alright, God Rio: give me somewhere better to be Buster: As if anywhere ain't Rio: I was bored Rio: Can't accuse the regulars of being anything but interesting, like Buster: Next time call me or something Buster: Jesus Rio: You're alright Rio: my conscience is suffering enough without starting it Buster: But you're not Buster: I swear to god if I have to go back on another night and fight everyone in there I'm gonna be so mad at you Rio: Remember the part where I said I cared about you? Rio: extends to not wanting to see you get your arse handed to you Rio: don't worry Buster: Fuck off Buster: Never lost Rio: Is now really the time for your bravado? Buster: It ain't Buster: You've seen me in the ring plenty of times, babe Buster: I know what I'm doing Rio: If you say so, babe Rio: Reckon you're punch drunk Buster: Shut up Buster: I'm not even drunk drunk Rio: That shit a night was it? Buster: Best behaviour Buster: Hilarious, yeah? Rio: Not even close Buster: But fuck it, 'cause I'm close to where you are now Rio: Shame I weren't fucking with you and had set you up for a whooping Rio: alas Buster: I reckon it's deserved Buster: Take a swing yourself if you like Rio: You gonna get on your knees or you want me to aim lower Buster: 'Course I am Buster: I wasn't lying about how much I missed you Rio: Swear on your life Buster: I'll swear on anything you want Rio: Your life'll do Rio: Don't wanna seem to high maintenance, like Buster: Then I swear on my life Rio: Alright Buster: Do you miss me? Rio: Of course I do, Buster Rio: you even have to ask? Buster: Yeah Buster: it's not the same as wanting me, is it Rio: That's never all it was Rio: there's no point denying that now Buster: Good Rio: What the fuck am I going to do Buster: Me Buster: For as long as you want Rio: You're an idiot Buster: And you like me Buster: Unlucky Rio: Yeah Rio: 'cos you're childish too Buster: Not as bad as when I was an actual kid though, like Buster: Fucking hell Rio: You think you've improved? Rio: Hmm, interesting Buster: You know it, babe Buster: Don't act like our first kiss was my best Rio: Surprised you remember Rio: or admit to it, anyway Buster: Why wouldn't I? Buster: I was the one who didn't have a fucking clue what I was doing not you Buster: You were cute Rio: Shut up Rio: Gonna make me cry, I'm too far gone for this Buster: Imagine how hard you'd be crying if I was still that crap Buster: 'cause I really wanna kiss you now Rio: You weren't that bad Rio: Poor baby Buster: Now I know you care Buster: Such a bad liar though, babe Rio: Idk, past you seems a more sympathetic character through rose tinted glasses, like Rio: Obviously that much of a Ma, yeah? Buster: Obviously Buster: I was a prick who turned into a cunt, catch yourself on Rio: Clearly I've turned into a hopeless case 'cos still out here wanting to defend you despite all the evidence to the contrary Buster: Well, I was useless then but I have got my uses now, like Rio: Thank fuck Buster: Thank me later Buster: I've got lots of making up to do to you first Rio: Not going to argue Rio: You definitely do Buster: Not gonna let you, sexy as you are when you get mad at me Rio: No need to go to such extreme lengths Rio: Overachiever Buster: Next time, stop me Rio: Funny Buster: I'm serious Buster: I don't wanna hurt you Rio: Bit late for that on both scores, like Rio: She's here now Buster: I'll dump her Rio: Don't say shit you won't stick to Rio: It makes it worse Buster: I'll do it tomorrow Rio: Just words Rio: when you don't, read this back and think on, yeah Buster: I mean it Rio: Alright Rio: We'll see Buster: Yeah Rio: Now though Rio: Come and kiss me like you said you would Buster: I'll do it better Buster: Just words, like

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: Not to cause drama but your man can't stay away 😂💓 insisted on giving me the caravan keys himself this morning babes Janis: 'Cos he's not my man, go hog wild Grace: OH HUNNY NO 😭 WHAT HAPPENED? OMG DID HE GO TOO FAR WITH THE PRETTY WOMAN SITU Janis: No, sadly I'm not 3 grand better off for it, Grace. Janis: Just run its course, I'm over it. Grace: I can't believe he'd use you like that! 🐖 After you took him on hols too OUTRAGEOUS 😧 Grace: You'll be okay though babe you are better off if he's gonna be like that Grace: OMG ITS THE CURSE OF SKERRIES! REMEMBER ME AND TY Janis: Maybe I used him? Ever think of that Janis: Nah, I don't...which one was that Grace: That's right gurl ♀ take control of the narrative Grace: You dumped him, consider it announced 💋 Grace: He had that well buff neck tat, remember? Janis: Its the truth. Nothing happened anyway, not proper. Janis: I'd rather keep it to myself but if you must, cheers Janis: Ahh, borstal boy Grace: 🙊 Gotcha 😇 Grace: Is that in 11? He was from there Grace: Anyway you should come on my juice cleanse Janis: No Grace, lol never mind, don't worry about it Janis: How am I gonna work out with nothing but a belly full of juice? I need protein Janis: but I wouldn't hate the vitamins and electrolytes, sometimes Grace: Oh Jan-Jan EVERYONE else manages it 🙄 but you are going through a break up 😢 just don't eat your feelings too hard. Asia's still trying to lose lbs 2 boys later 🙈 Grace: Yayyy! Come to town with me. It's lush there. 😜 drinks aren't bad either lol Janis: That's because you all only do half an hour of light cardio at best Janis: No I'm not, and there are no feelings to eat, I'll be in better shape now he's gone, more time to hit the gym, no more cafe shit Janis: Asia just wants an excuse to get fat, in or out of a relationship Janis: Not today, I'm busy but tomorrow lunch maybe Janis: I cba to be at school for any more time than is required Janis: might throw a sickie Grace: Rude! I know you're hurting but there's no need to come for me and my gym routine Grace: You don't have to pretend with me, babes 🤗 Grace: Unfair, Jan! She's been to WW and everything! It's so sad. Such a struggle Grace: YES! I'll phone in too. We can have a duvet day together. SISTER TIME SICKIE Grace: 💕 You'll feel better in no time Janis: I truly ain't. Janis: And if you don't want me to come for it, try harder, same goes for Asia. Janis: If she actually wanted it, she could, simple as. Janis: Nah, you have to spread my side of the story, don't you? Need you on the frontlines Janis: Plus, I'm going nan and grandad's, not home Grace: EXCUSE YOU BITCH I WAS AT THE GYM FOR 3 HOURS LAST NIGHT Grace: Okay yeah good point, can't let him chat shit about you after everything ugh Janis: Taking selfies? Lol, alright, alright, well done you Janis: I'm sure he won't.. Janis: It'll be everyone else Janis: Don't try and 'come' for him, Grace, that would be so embarrassing. Just set other people right, that's what I mean, right? Grace: thnx 😘 Grace: Boys can't even help themselves Grace: Oh Jan I'm not gonna fight him!! 😂 Don't worry I got this Janis: Yeah but just don't even chat to him Janis: I know YOU can't help yourself Janis: but I don't need it, Grace Grace: 🤐 Going to him for goss? Please. I'd never. Grace: He'd only lie anyway Grace: I can't 🤞 to hold the girls back tho Janis: For God's sake, its none of their business Janis: This is what I mean, everyone getting involved, can't people just leave it Grace: Bailey did lock lips with him first, babe Grace: You can't blame her for feeling wronged Janis: Yeah I can, when she practically grabs up on boys like Trump Janis: Its not on Janis: If she wants to try again, she can, she don't need to drag my name into her piss-poor attempt at chat Grace: Your ex WOULD say it went down like that 🙄 Grace: He's so gross! I shouldn't have let you near him 😧 Janis: It isn't just him Janis: she's getting herself a worse rep than she already had Grace: OMG JANIS STOP SLUT SHAMING MY FRIEND Grace: I can't believe my twin is such a bad feminist Janis: I can't believe you're siding with the abuser, and not believing a victim Janis: If you wanna chat that bullshit Janis: so leave it out Grace: You shouldn't throw words like that around. It's no joke Janis: It isn't. Janis: Let JGG know before she gets in trouble Grace: YOU STILL LOVE HIM, DON'T YOU? 😭 SO SAD Grace: I get you siding with your boy now Grace: poor Jan-Jan. I'll get him back for you don't worry Janis: No, it wasn't that deep, it was only a few months, get real Janis: Never did Janis: I don't want him back, focus on getting him for yourself, like you always wanted Grace: Oh honey...whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie Grace: I hate hearing you like this Grace: He really did a number on you 😢 Grace: We'll say no more about him Janis: I'm not you, Grace. I don't have to pretend it was love in the moment, or after, just to make myself fell better and to let the world know I'm not a skank. Janis: Good, stop talking, you've got no idea. Grace: DON'T TAKE YOUR MOOD OUT ON ME I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP Janis: Well you're not so stop trying, thanks Grace: Well now I know what to get you for christmas ffs! Grace: You need therapy, girl Grace: No-one else can talk to you when you're like this Janis: I hope you've not pulled me in secret santa, 'cos you're almost as bad at gifting as 'helping' Janis: you can't either, you just like the sound of your own voice Janis: and i'm the fucked up one, lol Grace: Mum and dad will send you, you know, they're always chatting about it Grace: see how edgy you are then Janis: good luck, i'm capable of keeping my mouth shit for more than five minutes Janis: no wonder all your boyfriends use yours then bounce, who could bare you Janis: if we weren't related to you, none of us would Grace: Maybe that's your problem, babe. Jimmy obvs wasn't feeling the strong silent type Grace: At least I've had boyfriends you've done it once and think you're an expert Grace: No wonder he got fed up Janis: Yeah, he's really after a girl just like you, that's why he does everything possible to avoid you Janis: You're the clueless one, Cher lol Grace: It's hilarious to me that you think I was ever interested in your fuckboy barista Grace: Both lads he works with are well fitter for a start Grace: I was happy for you, doesn't mean I'd be happy to go there Janis: You're so blatant the old dears having their pot of tea went to fucking pray for you after Janis: The idea you think you're slick enough that he didn't notice, I didn't notice, that the whole fucking town isn't aware who you want to ride next, is what's hilarious Janis: Sort yourself out, its embarrassing Grace: Nothing could be as embarrassing as having you for a sister 😂 Grace: Go cry to nan babes I'm over it Janis: The feeling's more than mutual, GracieGuru Janis: No one crying but you, as per Grace: As if I'd waste the mascara. Get a life Janis: I've got one, and it isn't yours to share; a fact you haven't been able to stand since you fell out of mum with me Grace: 😂 WHERE? You've got no friends, no lad and you hang out with our grandparents most nights Grace: so much to envy Janis: and yet, I'd sooner that than yours Janis: and that's what's really sad Janis: poor wittle gracie poo Grace: Next time you go running just keep going like Grace: Nobody'll mind here Janis: Yeah, 'cos they all love you Janis: You don't fit in Janis: Changeling baby, nowhere else to go Janis: Mum always liked taking in strays Grace: Must've been why she kept you Janis: Burn Grace: If you fit in so well why are you never here Grace: Too busy thinking you're above me to bother with the rest. That's sad Janis: Cos I can't fucking stand you, Grace Janis: and if I'm anywhere within a mile radius of you, I'm liable to kill you Janis: and you aren't worth the prison time Grace: Wow I'm so intimidated Janis: You aren't meant to be Janis: No one here but you needs to front Janis: Its the truth, you make my life hell Grace: Chats the girl who does nothing but Grace: You only went out with the barista because you THOUGHT I was interested Grace: Such a loser move Grace: Don't expect me to feel bad for you Janis: Jokes on you because I didn't go out with him Janis: He wanted you and your marauding band of molesters to get the hint and leave him and the others alone Janis: and you just made yourself look more and more idiotic every time, just been laughing about you behind your back this whole time Janis: It was a laugh Janis: So, do you get it now, hun? I'm not devvo, I'm just bored of making a fool out of you when you're happy to do it by yourself every day of your life Grace: Like I'd believe that. He dumped you because you're so crap you can't even make a candlelit bath sexy, cope with it Janis: Believe what you want, sweetheart, I'm not the one that's full of shit Grace: Yeah you are Janis: Oh honey...whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie Grace: @yourself next time babes Janis: you already did Janis: i bow to your infinite wisdom Janis: you should write a blog, oh wait- you already do and no one fucking reads it, 'cos you're a basic bitch giving children life advice like you have any idea what you're doing Grace: And you do? 😂 Faking a relationship for MONTHS to mess with me when all I've been is supportive about you getting a lad in the first place Grace: Such a good one of yours Janis: Yeah, this is hilarious Janis: like you ain't reacting exactly how I hoped you would, you pathetic bitch Janis: I knew it was fake, you need to catch yourself on Janis: fake friends, fake fun, fake boyfriends, fake happiness Janis: its honestly sad, you need therapy Grace: Yeah I need to catch myself on to how pathetic you are for literally living a cliche so bad it wouldn't air on CW Grace: To think I thought you were actually sorting yourself out. That's sad Janis: and yet, you and your gal pals lap up every episode Janis: just like you did here, so predictable i could set a watch to you Janis: what, to be like you? you're so sorted? Janis: no one wants to be like you grace, no one would ever want that Janis: you can joke and hashtag about goals, but if having to see you is anything like having to be you Janis: i'd sooner join edie Grace: That's a sick thing to say. Don't bring her into your bullshit, Janis Janis: MY bullshit? Janis: This ain't nothing but you, as per Janis: You're like fucking black mould, spreading everywhere, ruining everything, suffocating us all Janis: and I can talk about her all I fucking want, fuck you Janis: just cos you wanna pretend she didn't exist Grace: No I don't I just don't think it's fair that you use her death to play the victim with me now Grace: To say you'd rather die than deal with your bs is gross Janis: Yeah its only okay when you do it Janis: woe is you Janis: suicide is so gross ew Janis: what a problematic cunt you are Grace: You using it to guilt me is Grace: If you want to kill yourself don't put that on me Grace: You gonna leave me tapes? Fuck off Janis: Why not? Janis: Someone's at fault Janis: we all know who's fault it was Edie died Janis: its no secret Grace: And I'm at fault for your EVERY issue, sure Jan Grace: Don't take any responsibility at all Janis: Did I say that? Janis: You're a cunt, own it Janis: Don't pretend you care, 'cos I didn't ask you to and it does fuck all for me or you Janis: I'm not interested in being your sister, never mind anything beyond a familial tie so drop dead, sincerely Grace: I do care, bitch. How dare you. Grace: Yeah like death fixes anything. I'd still be your sister. Cope with it Janis: At least you'd be my dead sister, that's easier Grace: Yeah because you handle it all so well Janis: Better than I handle having to be anywhere near you Janis: Don't you get it yet? I hate you Grace: Then don't be. Run away to Grandad's. Nobody is bothered I already told you Janis: You are, you delusional cunt! Janis: You always try to talk to me, you won't leave me the fuck alone Janis: who started this conversation Janis: I do everything that's humanly possible to avoid you and you still won't sto