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literaila · 9 months

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PETER PARKER ANGST????❤️🫡🛬🤭😍🗣🙀🫡😀🫡🫶😀😟🫶😟❤️ (if you dont write it ill sob violently on the floor ☹️)

we could call it even

tasm!peter x fem!reader

summary:

"peter parker," she says, "you're like a legend around here."

warnings: unspecified angst, series, no fluff, no explanation

a/n: might i introduce a playlist entitled stupid boy which i listened to while writing this (and the other parts????)

there's a specific time of night that is appropriate to go to the market.

or inappropriate, depending on how old you are.

if you're in your sixties and sometimes feel like your joints are just notches that need to be oiled, midnight probably isn't your designed time for grocery shopping. seven in the morning is typically the best time for swollen lungs and--literal--broken hearts.

but if you're you, exhausted from running around all day, unpleasant from all of the people you've talked to, and trying to avoid anyone (everyone) you might know--and secrets you don't feel like sharing--then midnight is a perfect time. and perfectly normal, thank you very much.

you're not even sure why meyer's is open this late. there's no way the owner, jerry, is staying up until midnight to check out the lowlifes or drunk teenagers stopping by, and you know that these aren't prime business hours--evident by the crickets you can hear behind the 'fresh produce' section. maybe he forgets that it's open, and that susan--the only person willing to work here--is still on the clock. or maybe he's just taking pity on you. you don’t think he’s ever there, but maybe he hides around corners, noting the new lines on your face so he can report it back to every person in town. gossip is like a disease, and you’re never alone in a place like this. never quite at peace.

you look around the next shelf for jerry, or a gust of wind that follows him running away. there’s only silence. the echoes of your footsteps.

it doesn't matter why meyer’s is open. you're thankful for this time alone. or at least by yourself.

it's a welcome change to have no one judge you for your selection of deli cheese and baked goods. or the three containers of instant coffee you've hidden underneath it all. just out of habit.

tuesday nights are yours, and the market is your chosen domain.

usually, that is. usually, you're all alone. usually, you can run around on the carts and pick up anything you accidentally knock over. you can spill an entire bottle of wine on the floor and no one will blink an eye. jerry wouldn’t even be able to hear it from three feet away.

but tonight--on this tuesday when your feet hurt a little bit more than necessary, and your eyes are twitching at all of the lights--apparently you're not alone.

which you wished you would have realized before you started humming 'single ladies' a bit too loudly.

you wished you would have skipped shopping at all, really, as soon as you see his face.

his wide eyes--surprised and silvered by age, much like yours--and his open mouth.

in a different world, you would be shocked--shocked instead of scared--and you might run to him. you might ask him why he didn't tell you he was coming? what is he doing here? in a different world, you two would be the only people in the market and it would be fine.

it might even be great.

this subtle shift in autonomy wouldn’t hurt the peace you’re looking for on this tuesday night.

there wouldn't be this obvious horror story standing between the two of you, this looming presence. the history of a thousand lies, bruise after bruise, and scars so red that they could burn through the ground. glass shattered around your feet.

the lights might as well start flickering. you should probably call out "hello?" even though he's right in front of you, and if he was going to murder you, he probably wouldn't answer. a door should creak.

you should probably go.

you should probably run away before he can take a step closer. you don't look a threat in the eye and smile at it. you don't feed a stray cat.

it always comes back.

why is he here?

you take a step away. as soon as you notice him--behind, between, all over you--silence ensues. you might as well be at a loss for words. you don't have much to say to him.

not to that look in his eyes, or his receding hairline, or that peak on his mouth.

because peter would be here. at this time. and he would be trying to hide a smile, a smirk, when he's not even supposed to be within a five-hundred-foot vicinity of you.

actually, maybe you forgot to mail that restraining order.

but the words come out anyway because your body has always betrayed you when it comes to him.

"peter?" you blurt out, and just saying the word stirs the simmering feeling inside of you. just saying his name is enough of a warning.

"hey," he whispers and takes a step closer. you step back. he leans away like he knows his proximity is toxic. "sorry, i didn't mean to scare you."

i didn't mean to.

and yet.

you breathe and forget how to blink. he might disappear. "peter," you repeat, as a form of masochism. you don't breathe at all.

"sorry," he says, again. he doesn't say what for. there could be a million things.

"um," you choke out, looking around--away from him and his manipulative eyes. "what?" you laugh to yourself, hand running over your face. you roll your eyes back into your head and laugh again. you shake your head.

you look at peter, at his furrowed brow and inward stance, and you snort. look away from him before it's too late.

you're laughing like something is funny. it's not.

it's really not.

"are you..." peter is swallowing. you'd like to pretend that his voice is hollow and cold, much like that cave inside your chest, but it's not. you recognize that concern, that softness in his voice that used to be just yours. "are you okay?"

you almost giggle at him. it comes out as more of a cough.

you wonder if you look like a ghost. some remanent of who you used to be--the person that only peter used to know.

"peter," you sigh, and step away from your cart. into the shelf you've been backing yourself into.

you step away from him, still shaking your head.

"i've got to--" you trip as you turn around and say to mostly yourself, "i've got to go."

groceries, and peter, be damned, you think, as you walk out of the building and prepare yourself to never ever come back.

it wouldn't be the first time.

you are having your daily debate with mrs. brooke about the amount of calories in each pastry, in which you tell her that you only measure the amount of pleasure someone might get out of each one—which earns you a lovely sneer—and that she should try the blueberry scone.

she always rolls her eyes at you, says something about watching her weight even though she’s looked the same since you were five years old and sneaking through her yard to catch the neighborhood cat. and then she leaves with a breakfast sandwich.

it’s actually one of the most enjoyable parts of your day.

here’s the thing about knowing every single person that comes into the shop: you know exactly what they’re going to order, and you know what type of conversation you’re going to have with them.

mrs. brooke always stresses about her breakfast, her smile a tense sort of pleasant, but by the time she leaves her head is held a little higher. if she chooses the sandwich instead of the scone, then she’s started her day off right. you used to feel exasperated by her indecisive nature, but now you find it kind of adorable.

mr. meyer—jerry—just comes in so he can complain about the surplus of options on your menu. he wants a black coffee, and he wants to complain. you always smile at him and ask if he’s sure he doesn’t want to try the raspberry green tea. he finds this less than humorous.

every kid wants some kind of hot chocolate—which you actually have an excessive amount of—and no matter what their parents say, you sneak some extra marshmallows in. and everyone pretends otherwise.

susan—your kindergarten teacher, now friend—asks if you’ve met anyone special lately. it doesn’t matter that the selection of single people your age is always the same. there’s got to be someone special, she says to you and leaves with a cider she tells everyone is a latte.

there are the people who want their lattes and mochas, those who want some alternative milk that they complain about—even though you’ve tried every brand on earth—there are the people who don’t ever buy anything, and just come in to pretend they want something and talk to you. they gossip about the other people in town as if you aren’t well aware of everything that goes on.

you roll your eyes, but you appreciate the company. things get pretty boring when you can guess everyone’s schedule.

but you like your tiny tea shop. you like the consistency. you enjoy the smiles you throw out, and the complaints you receive. it’s a routine, and nothing goes wrong. you're in control of this one thing, and that's just how you like it.

in control, that is, of course, until you see him when mrs. brooke is walking away.

“oh!” she says, pausing, her drink shaking in hand, her pink fingernails a smudge against the shadow suddenly coming from right in front of you. she is just a foot too close to him. “is that peter parker?” she asks, saying his voice like an omen, turning around so she can set her cup and bag down, and then hugging him so hard you can see her muscles working beneath her sleeve.

“hey, mrs. brooke,” peter wheezes out, a strangled smile on his aged face. his same eyes.

he is just as surprised as you at her sudden outburst, the cooing noises she's making as she attempts to crumble him.

“look how handsome you’ve gotten! and so strong. what are those new yorkers doing with you?”

“definitely not trying to squeeze me to death.”

mrs. brooke laughs, somewhat vindictively, and she turns back around to look at you, with wide eyes. “did you know he was in town, dear? why didn’t you say anything? i almost had a heart attack.”

peter clears his throat before you can throw any type of face on. any mask. “it’s a surprise,” he mock whispers, and his eyes dash to yours, then away, just as quick. “don’t tell anyone.”

“it’s not like they’d believe me anyway,” she scoffs, “you’re a legend around here.”

“i’m honored.”

she laughs again, then grabs her cup. “oh,” she whispers, too loud. her eyes are tight, as if she’s intruded. “of course. i’ll leave and let you two talk.”

and within a blink of an eye, she is running out of the shop, faster than you’ve ever seen anyone escape from here.

and peter is there, standing in front of you. his face is smooth, calm, his eyes roaming over your face like he still has the privilege of knowing any of it.

and your heart might be racing, if it was still there.

"hi," he whispers. it is quiet enough for you to feel it in your chest. his voice and the memory of it.

does he sound different? has he really changed that much in the last two years? is his face a bit worn? are his eyes a different color?

but it doesn’t matter what rattles through your head—when you look at peter, you just see him. your peter.

except that he’s completely different.

you clear your throat, looking away and pushing off of the counter. “what can i get you?”

peter blinks. “oh, um…” he looks at the menu above your head, back to you. “what—“ he swallows. “what would you recommend?”

“it’s all good.” your voice is clipped. you should’ve said pure brewed black tea, no ice, no sweetener, no cup. just to get him out of here. you should've recommended the starbucks three towns over.

he swallows, again. a hand rakes through his hair. “i… just a sec.”

there is a single second where you grant him the patience you would give every other customer—smile politely and let them know to ask if they have any questions. a single second where you treat him like anybody else.

and then you say: “do you want a mocha, peter?” with an anger that shouldn’t—can’t—be contained inside of you.

you wince at his name. the singe of his brand on you, going down your throat.

peter seems to watch this on your face, because he’s even quieter when he answers, “sure, that’d be great.”

at least some things haven’t changed.

so you grab a cup, writing his name on it, and move to grab the milk.

you turn around and pretend like you’ve just forgotten he’s there.

peter doesn’t take this hint.

“so…” he says, his feet are loud as they tap on the ground. “you still work here, huh?”

you barely grunt a response, spilling chocolate in the cup recklessly. if peter dies of a clogged artery it won’t be your fault.

“that’s nice. felix always loved you. and you loved working here, back in highschool.” you have to face him as you steam the milk, and you try not to pointedly stare. not to roll your eyes or hiss at him. “it’s different though. the decor, i mean. but nice. i like it. did you do it?”

“yes.”

you grab his cup, pouring the milk and shoving the cap on it. “here,” your fingertips burn as you pass it to him, and you don’t think it’s because of the drink.

“thank you.”

you both stand there; peter blinks and doesn’t leave.

he coughs. “i didn’t pay.”

“mrs. brooke would kill me if i made you pay for your first drink back home.”

“well, she knows where you live,” his lip twitches, but he doesn’t laugh.

and neither do you.

“is it just you here?” he asks. “no felix?”

“he sold me the shop a year ago.”

his eyes widen. “oh. oh! that’s great. congrats.”

“thank you.”

you don’t move your eyes from his face, because it’s suddenly not fair that he’s here. that he’s allowed to intrude like this.

“it’s good to see you,” peter relents, a fake smile playing on his lips.

you falter. your heart turns in your chest, just so it doesn’t have to look at him anymore. “i’m working, okay?” you say, whispering. “i can't do this right now.”

“right. yeah.” peter trips on a step back. his eyes are scanning your face again. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t—“ he blows out a breath. “i’m sorry.”

you nod. watch the ground as he stumbles over it.

“i mean it though,” he adds, like he hadn’t thought about it. “it’s good to see you.”

and then peter swallows. you blink at him.

when he turns around the bell rings as he pushes it. and peter doesn’t look back.

he’s right about one thing, at least. it is nostalgic.

"when were you going to tell me?" your mom asks, leaning against her kitchen counter--the same one you scribbled on as a kid, smiley faces still apparent. she's doing that fake smile thing. the one that makes you want to storm off and slam the door like some mistreated teenager.

you don't, but both of you know that you think about it. for at least five seconds

"tell you what?" you ask, instead, setting the groceries you brought for her on the counter.

"about peter."

your eyes close. he would follow you around, wherever you go. he's probably hiding in some vent, smiling maliciously.

there's that teasing voice in your head saying small town, small small town, but you just turn around, ignoring it, and her, and raise a brow. "peter parker?" you repeat, rhetorically. "twenty-six, new york. brown hair, brown eyes. lived here his whole life, has an aunt who lives next door, tried to steal our cat when he was nine..." you drawl off, making a point to smile. "ringing any bells?"

she throws a dish towel at you. "you know thats not what i meant."

"do i?"

you wipe the counter with the towel, then fold it nicely on the counter, all the while avoiding your mother's eyes.

but you know she won't leave it alone. the same way she hasnt left you alone once in the past four years, like she can dig your feelings up from whatever grave you buried them in.

there's a part of you that wants to crawl over to her and ask her to make you some hot chocolate, to watch some childrens movie on the couch with you. you want to be the little kid who would've depended on that knowing glance she's still giving you. the little kid who idolized her and wasn't afraid to admit the truth--even if you did steal that chocolate bar from under her sink.

but you're grown, and this doesn't matter. not in the long run, anyway.

you look up, expectant eyes. she has your same eyes, and meets them.

"linda told nancy, who told jerry, who told me over the phone..." she shakes her head. "but may was here earlier."

"yeah? how is she?"

"good, busy, i'm guessing, because you know how she dotes over him."

"yeah..."

you fold the towel again, running your fingertips over the embrodered flowers.

"have you seen him?"

you swallow, and nod absentmindedly. you're not going to tell her about the grocery store. "yeah, he came into the shop yesterday."

she taps your hand, and you let go of the rag. she hangs it back over the oven, the ebbing silence more like a threat, her hands falling to her hips. "why didn't you say anything?"

"it's not a big deal. he came in, ordered, and then left."

"and there were no words between the two of you?" she prods. "no wandering eyes? you just read his mind instead of taking his order?"

you grit your teeth, rolling your eyes. "he asked for a mocha and i made it for him."

"nothing else?"

"he said it was nice to see me."

she waves a hand at you.

"and i said that i was working." you sigh, leaning against the counter. "that's all."

"you're not freaking out?" your mom ducks her head so she can meet your eyes. her face is sullen, but her smile is genuine.

it's like talking to a counselor.

"why would i be freaking out? he had to come back sometime."

she scoffs. the little necklace your dad gave her dangles from her neck, and you watch it. "i don't know," she says, using the same voice you do when she tells you not to take a tone with her. "maybe because you havent spoken to him in the last three years?"

yeah, the same voice says, rough and patronizing, you haven't spoken to him in five years. why is that, again?

but you snort at your mom, a defensive smile making its way to your lips as you look at her. "water under the bridge," you say, dismissing it.

you don't want to talk about this with her. you don't want to talk about this with anyone.

because the only person who might actually understand is the same person who left three years ago. who came back with no warning at all.

"did may say when he got here?" you ask, voice escaping before you can stop it.

"just a day or two ago, i think. why?"

"is he here for the holidays?"

"yes. she said he plans to stay until at least january. he's between jobs, i guess."

"oh." you smack your lips and move away from her, back to the groceries, which is the reason you're here in the first place. you take out the milk jug, walking to the fridge, but a soft hand stops you.

your mom is smiling when you turn towards her. "you don't have to talk about it," she's saying, her voice smooth and comforting. "i don't--i don't know what happened between the two of you. i just mentioned it because may said he was talking about you. it..." she drops off, wincing.

"what?"

"it might be good to talk to him. put the water under the bridge."

you roll your eyes, nose twitching. you don't need to say anything, you won't. your mother is just another town gossip, and her opinion has no sway over you.

even ask the words sink in.

"now put the rest of those away," she says, ruffling your hair, "i know what happens when you take your 'breaks.'"

you push her and put the milk in the fridge.

you're mopping the floor when the bell rings, and a cold brush of air trails goosebumps up your skin.

it's late enough in the season to no longer smell like the leaves falling onto the ground, or the grandesur pine needles showing off their lifespan. it's cold in the shop now, and you have three coats in the back.

but the person who walks in is only wearing one. one you recognize from several years ago, with the holes in the sleeves from when he jumped over your fence and sprained his ankle. the stain on the front when may threw a plum soaked rag at him and you'd laughed so hard that you'd fallen to your knees on the floor and couldn't breathe.

peter's face is wain. his eyes are cautious as they meet yours.

you're not used to anyone coming in at 5:55. everyone knows you close at six, and the few people who'd dared to come in and order a drink a minute before you flipped your sign have learned their lesson.

but peter hasn't learned anything.

"i know," he says, like tracking your mind. "you close at six. may told me."

"okay."

you're still holding the mop, sure that his footprints would leave mud all over your floors.

"i don't want to buy anything. or--" he breathes out, hands wringing at his sides, probably from the cold. "i will. if you want me to. but that's not why i came. i wanted to see if you..."

he does a sweep over you, and his words fall in the air, as if he's just realized something.

you look down at the snowflake apron your mom bought last year. it's not that dirty.

you look back up, brows furrowed, and peter's expression matches yours. "yes?" you prod, feeling that anger simmer in the core of your chest. but you've been rude enough to him.

your mom's words ring out in your head.

it might be good to talk to him.

peter swallows, whatever emotion on his face fading. "i wanted to see if you would go to dinner with me. or take a walk. or--or i'll buy you groceries, since you left yours the other night. it doesn't matter. i just want to... talk to you."

"you want to talk to me?"

peter nods. "i can wait outside, while you finish." he waves a hand, like an explanation. "it doesn't have to be long. just five minutes?"

you watch peter, his face a world of feeling that you can't recognize anymore.

and maybe that hurts the most. not him being here, not the distance or the time you've let edge you apart, but the fact that it's changed things. peter has changed and you've just let that happen. he's got a life seperate from you and there's no one to blame. he'd reached out enough, initially. months of letting his calls go to voicemail and ignoring may when you saw her in the street.

putting yourself back together in the misshaped way you are now. peter probably doesn't even recognize you--not like this.

maybe it's your fault.

but you find yourself nodding anyway, ignoring the guilt seeping through the cracks of you. you nod, and peter's face changes.

it's not the first time you've noticed his eyes, or watched relief ease into him, but it's just the same.

"yes?" peter asks, his voice rough and dry. you look at that jacket again.

"where's your coat?"

"my..." peter looks down with you. "oh, my coat. all of the ones aunt may kept were too small, and i thought--" he scratches his neck. "well, i forgot how cold it gets."

you nod, slowly.

peter nods back.

you stare at him a moment longer, and then break away from his unfamiliar gaze.

"just give me five minutes. i just need to put this away, and grab my stuff, and..." you swallow.

"okay. great. do you want to me wait outside, or should i?" he gestures around, looking as uncomfortable as you've ever seen him.

"you can sit. just--don't get any dirt on the tablebases."

"okay. thank you."

you nod, one last time, and look away from him.

your heart runs circles around peter as he sits at one of your tables, his long legs not fitting beneath it. it taunts you again and again as you try not to notice him breathing, try to ignore him completely.

you dup the mop water, spilling it on your shoes. you wipe down the last counter, the syrup sticking to your hands like a scar. you walk around the shop trying to find something else to do so you can avoid this as long as possible. your feet are cold and your hands feel abnormally dry. maybe you need to go home and shower. maybe you shouldn't be doing this at all.

you sit in the office for a moment, wishing you could watch peter without him knowing. scope him out before you hear what he has to say.

and--

okay, maybe there's a part of you that's been waiting three years for this.

that dream where he's there even though you don't want him; that moment when he apologizes and you forgive him automatically, because your heart has always been small and fragile around him; that fantasy where peter comes home and he's the same teenager you used to walk around town with at two in the morning, the same brown eyes laughing as you both slipped on ice and fell on top of eachother.

you won't deny that you've thought about this before. what you might say to him if you got the chance.

but as you grab your bag and hang your apron around the chair in the office, the words have gone some place else. what could you say to him to make any of this make sense?

still, you clear your throat when you walk out, feet aching from standing all day. you blink at him as he struggles to get up, pushing your chair in, the legs scratching on the floor the only sound between the two of you.

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dazed--xx · 6 months

Text

🛫Wherever You Are🛬

Summary: Torn in two, And I know I shouldn't tell you. But I just can't stop thinking of you, Wherever you are. You. Wherever you are; Every night I almost call you. Just to say it always will be you…Wherever you are

Member: Jeongin x Reader

T/W: Break Up, arguments, crying, heartbreak, ANGST…, swearing, yelling, sad ending, ghosting, Long distance relationship, neglect, ambiguous aged female (17-22), emotional manipulation.

Word Count: 3.2K

For a while we pretended, that we never had to end it but we knew we'd have to say goodbye…You were crying at the airport when they finally closed the plane door; I could barely hold it all inside……

“Is that everything?” Y/N asked as she looked around her packed-up room. Boxes stacked by her door as she rolled her suitcase toward the door placing it beside the boxes as she heard Jeomgin huff from his seat on her bed. “Yeah….” He grumbles “Don't sound so happy about it.” she rolls her eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest. A frustrated scowl on his expression. Her heartaches as she pouts; taking hesitant steps toward her boyfriend. He gives her a side eye as she stands in front of him.

“Don't be like that…you act like I have a choice here….”

Jeongin pouts at her words allowing his hands to fall to his sides. “No…I know but—sigh—this seems so hard. How do you expect me to be okay with this, Y/N?” his voice is laced with hurt. Y/N didn't know how to answer him. She, herself wasn't okay with this situation but, her family was moving to America for her father's job. It was an amazing opportunity for her family to experience things they had only heard about or seen in movies and TV shows. She'd even managed to get into the engineering department at NYU but, the last thing she wanted to do was leave Jeongin behind. Though his schedule was hectic, Jeongin had always made sure you felt like his priority. You guys had been together for a little over 3 years now, and he had already achieved his dream before he'd met you; but Jeongin knew America, specifically New York University was yours. You had suggested remaining in Seoul and going to Seoul National University to your parents but they firmly (and vulgarly) declined.

Y/N stared at Jeongin with sad guilt-filled eyes. “I'm sorry, but it's only for 2 years. When you guys come to New York on tour, I'll be the first one to buy tickets and come see you and I'll fly back whenever I can. Don't be mad at me….” She pleads as she holds Jeongin’s hand in hers. Jeongin stares back at her in return. With a painfilled pout on his lips, as his eyes are glossy, he removes his right hand from your grasp caressing your cheek as he sighs. “I'm not mad at you, I'm just trying to be okay with this. I don't want to make this so hard it's just….2 years…I know you told me months ago and I understand this is your dream and a great opportunity for your dad but…2 years away from you? 2 years of not being able to see you whenever I want? I love you so much; you know how hard my tours are for me when I have to be away from you and tomorrow starts a 2-year countdown until we're able to get back together?” Jeongin’s voice cracks as he wraps his arms around your waist resting his forehead on your stomach as he tries to steady his breathing.

“It's not like we're breaking up…” Y/N stammered “I'll visit on breaks and you guys go to New York a lot. It won't be a full 2 years apart, please trust me…I love you; I don't want this to end…” her voice is just above a whisper as her hand finds its way into Jeongin’s hair. He looks up at her with a puppy-dog expression “N-No… that's not what I meant—of course we aren't breaking up. I'm just—the reality is just setting in case you're leaving tomorrow that's all…” He states as his left hand grasps hers turning her around and pulling her into his lap. He rests his head on her right shoulder; he buries his nose in her neck trying to engrave her scent in his nostrils. “I.Nnie~” Y/N whispers and he shushes her in response.

“Let's just stay like this for a second….please? I need this…just one second…” Jeongin whispers desperately; Y/N relaxes in his arms as they sit there trying to hold back the heartbreak they were both feeling from this

Torn in two; And I know I shouldn't tell you but I just can't stop thinking of you….

Moving to America proved to be a major culture shock, though Y/Ns parents had excelled at English due to her father being both from America and a corporate bureaucrat and her mother being a language professor at Yeonsei University before her retirement. They had adjusted well but for Y/N, someone who only managed to just barely pass English class in high school, it was intimidating to now be completely surrounded by it. Not only that but she learned that New York was a melting pot of cultures in the months that she had lived here so there were many other languages she did not know nor understand. She had managed to pick up more and more words as she made more English-speaking friends who could help her. After about 6 months of vigorous studying, she began to pick up bits and pieces of her professor's lectures without the help of her interpreter.

If only she could have the same excitement about seeing Jeongin for the first time since she had left. Stray kids was about to start the U.S. leg of their tour with their first stop being the big apple. And while Y/Ns ability to speak with more and more Americans grew, the ability to speak to her boyfriend dwindled. While she managed to text him at least once or twice every coupled of days or so, his response times would vary from the next day to not at all. Video chat dates and phone calls all but disappeared, and her heart longed for Jeongin most days. Her smile never fully reached her eyes while she was out with her new friends, knowing everything she wanted to share with Jeongin would be met with utter silence or a ‘thats great babe, Love you’. Y/N wasn't sure what to do anymore. While she understood they began comeback season then award season following but in the past Jeonging never felt this….far away.

Y/N laid in bed as she texted Jeongin once more.

I miss you…call me when you can😘

To her surprise it was read almost immediately; noticing those familiar 3 dots indicating he was typing. Y/N’s heart races when a message pops up from him:

I miss you too, video chat in like 10?

An involuntary smile forms on her lips as she reads the message, sitting up in bed she turns on the lamp on her nightstand. Her hands shake as she waits for his call. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she had last seen his face when they talked. 2 weeks? A month? Maybe more; time blended together for her. She watched as the time ticked on; 5 minutes turned to 10. 10 to 15. Her heart ached as she watched the time go by. She wished she could use the time difference as an excuse but it was 11 AM in Seoul. She contemplated calling him when 30 minutes had gone by. She sighed to herself.

That just didn't feel worth it anymore….She thought to herself. Her thoughts were constantly filled with thoughts and images of Jeongin yet, it felt like he had left her behind. She held back tears as she saw the clock hit the one-hour mark and she chose to stop waiting. Turning off the lamp she lays in bed, turning her phone off, she closes her eyes allowing her tears to fall and disappointment to fill her stomach. There's a sharp twisting feeling in her gut as she slowly comes to the realization; that no matter what they had wished for Y/N and Jeongin were supposed to end when she left Korea…..

The next morning Y/N woke with a start; her head feeling groggy as she tried to recall when she had fallen asleep. Turning on her phone she sits up in bed as a barrage of texts and missed video calls from Jeongin came through her phone. She sighs to herself as she swipes the notifications away.

Not today… she thinks to herself I need time….

She takes a few hours wandering around the city before settling at Central Park. Her headphones sitting in her ears as she imagines Jeongin beside her; a bright smile plastered on his lips. A buzzing in her hand pulls her out of her thoughts as she answers the call thoughtlessly. That familiar melodic voice rings through the phone making her freeze “Finally, you answer!” Jeongin chuckles “Didn't know it'd be so hard to get in touch with you..” Y/N could tell he meant it as a joke so she brushed off the slight anger she felt.

“Yeah…” she sighs “Been out and about…I thought you were going to call me last night?” she continues, her tone is hesitant when she poses the question. “Yeah, sorry I got sidetracked Felix-Hyung wanted me to play a game with him. I tried to call you after though” he tries to laugh it off. Y/N’s blood boils at his words “I had already fallen asleep by that point, Jeongin…” She grits as she fumbles with her water bottle taking a sip as she watches the free-going pedestrians around her. The lively hustle and bustle of city life going on around her while she felt this heavy grey South Korea shapes cloud over her head. “Oh, the time difference is still a little weird getting used to…” he brushes you off casually “Anyway, we're coming to New York in two weeks. I want to see you, I'll text you my hotel and stuff” He states excitedly. Y/N grits her teeth as she clenches her left hand in her lap.

Is he serious? She thinks to herself He can't be serious…

“Are you joking?”

“What? No. We’ll be there in two weeks why would it be possibly joking?”

“Jeongin, do you really think I want to see you? When was the last time I talked to you? When's the last time you actually showed any interest in me?” Y/N snaps, her anger boiling over at his nonchalant response. Jeongin sat quietly for a moment, She heard him let out a couple of deep heavy breaths. “Y/N, If you're having a bad day please don't take it out on me, okay? I'm always interested in you—why wouldn't I be?” He states trying to remain calm and not feed into an argument. “No, I'm not having a bad day. Honestly Jeongin, I'm just so tired..” Y/N trails “You should get some rest then” Jeongin suggests innocently.

“No, I'm tired of this. Us. I'm tired of being the only one thing trying to keep this going. I'm tired of being the only one fighting for us—Jeongin, Let's break up” Y/N explains panickedly. “What?! No! Y/N what are you saying?” Jeongin stammer nervously.

“I'm not going to see you when you come to New York. I'm sorry Jeongin” Y/N states definitively “Y/N, wait…please don—” Jeongin’s plea is cut off by Y/N ending the call. She lifts herself from the bench as she walks through the park toward the exit. Her eyes were cascading tears yet, it felt like that storm cloud remained in the park above that bench as she felt the sun shine down on her kissing her skin.

I could fly a thousand oceans; but there's nothing that compares to what we had, and so I walk alone. I wish I didn't have to be gone; Maybe you've already moved on. But the truth is I don't want to know…

Jeongin’s heart ached as he rested his head on the van window. His members' excited cheers and conversations are drowned out by his thoughts. She was somewhere out there in this sea of buildings. His heart was roaming around this city, without him. He blinked away the familiar tears as he pouted behind his face mask. He longed to call her. Oh, how he wished he could turn back time. He'd have called you that night; he'd have called you every single moment he had away from work if he knew that this would be how everything would turn out.

In the two long weeks since Y/N had cut off contact with him, he wondered Is this how she felt? Is this how she felt when life was going on around her and the first person she wanted to call was him?

He hated the dull ache that sat heavily in his chest as he let his mind wander. Was she happier now? Did he hold her back? Did she still love him? Has she moved on? He felt nauseous at the thought. He should have tried harder, he should have done more. Something. Anything to have prevented this painful ache in his chest. He missed her so much. He loved her more than anything and due to his own stupidity he lost her. What was he supposed to do? She had blocked his number after a couple of days of him bombarding her with calls and texts pleading for an explanation. How he wished to hear her voice again. He couldn’t feel the same level of excitement as his members as they exited their van and entered the hotel lobby. Jeongin hung behind the rest as they checked in.

What were you doing right now?

Torn in two and I know I shouldn't tell you but I just can't stop thinking of you…..Wherever you are….You….Wherever you are. Every night I almost call you to say it always will be you Wherever you are……

Jeongin lay in the hotel room as he stared at his phone. He had changed his phone number for this moment. He felt anxious as he tried to find the courage to call Y/N. He struggled between calling her and begging for you to take him back; or, somehow figuring out how to get to NYU and walking the two blocks to your house from there. From what the GPS in his phone was telling him he was only a 30-minute walk away. His heart raced as he contemplated his options. His chest felt heavier the longer he spent without you. His smile and happiness left when you did. He missed her so much, Y/N breaking up with him became the most sudden and unexpected heartbreaking experience of his life.

The 3 years they had spent together became his new dream. If he'd known that night before you left, that he only had her for another 6 months; he would have cherished every second he had left. He would have memorized the way her lips curled into a smile when she rambled.

He would have held onto her so tightly that she wouldn't have been able to walk away.

You can say we'll be together, Someday. Nothing lasts forever, Nothing stays the same; So why can't I stop feeling this way……Torn in two and I know I shouldn't tell you but I just can't stop thinking of……… you

Y/N sat on the couch watching TV as she petted the new cat, Lola, her mother had gotten. She smiled brightly at the ash-colored cat. Its long fluffy fur tickles her fingertips as she waits for her mother to return. Hearing a knock on the door, Y/N places Lola on the couch beside her before making her way to the front door. She jokes to the cat in English assuming her mother has forgotten her key again “She's going to lose her head one-day” Y/N laughs to herself as she opens the door “Eomma, you need a better key……ring” her voice trails at the end of her sentence as she comes face to face with Jeongin. It felt like time stopped as their eyes met. Jeongin looked at her with a pained hopeful expression.

“Y/N…” he breathes out as he takes a step toward her; his hands lifting from his side trying to grasp her waist. Y/N’s heart sunk to her stomach as she takes a step back. “Jeongin….what are you doing here?” she asks nervously as she looks around. “I-I wanted to see you. I told you we had a show here” he stammered lightheartedly trying to repress the overwhelming need to take you into his arms. Y/N shakes her head at his words “I don't know why you'd come here….”

Jeongin looks at her with heartbreak and disbelief. “Y/N, I understand you're mad at me but please, just give me a chance to fix things…”

“Why? You had a chance to fix things, Jeongin”

“I-I didn't know things needed to be fixed…”

Y/N scoffs at his words, her eyes narrowing into a scowl. He didn't know? HE DIDN'T KNOW?! Y/N internally rages “You didn't know?” she asks haphazardly trying to make sense of such a nonsensical statement from her ex. The innocent puppy dog pout on his face makes her anger continue to take hold of her. “How could you not know? We barely talked. You never answered my calls or texts Jeongin”

“I just got caught up with the guys, I didn't intentionally do those things. I—sigh—honestly, I was having so much fun making this album it didn't really cross my mind…”

“So you forgot about me then?” Y/N sneers. Jeongin gives her a look of horror as he shakes his head in denial. “Y/N, No…I would nev—Well what else would you call it then?” Y/N cuts him off. Jeongin looks around nervously as if the answer would magically pop up. He sighs running his left hand through his hair. “It's not that simple…” He states sadly. Y/N rolls her eyes at his words as she grips the door tightly. “But it is though, it is simple. You either forgot about me, or you didn't care enough to actually try. Either way, I'm not dealing with it anymore. I'm not just some toy you put on a shelf to pick up when you finally remember you have it. I loved you. I spent 3 years with you and it took only 6 months away from you to figure out how you actually feel about me. You loved me in Korea but in America I'm forgettable. Have a nice life, Jeongin” Y/N snaps as she allows the door to slam closed as she finishes speaking. Locking the door behind her she lets out a sigh of relief.

Jeongin stared at her door for a few moments before walking away in defeat allowing his mind to wander. He hadn't expected her verbal assault but, he couldn't say he didn't deserve it. Y/N was right for the most part. He hadn't tried, ever since she had moved here, Jeongin felt his creative juices flowing from longing for her return. He had secretly been keeping a countdown since he had found out the date they'd be coming to New York. He planned everything mentally for weeks. When he finally came to his senses; Y/N brutally ripped his heart out. Again, he had deserved it…but she was wrong about one thing. She was never someone he could forget about, it felt like no matter what her image would be burned into his mind.

Wherever you are

⏪|⏸️|⏩

Taglist: @yangbbokari @havenwithleeknow

#skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids jeongin angst #jeongin angst #stray kids jeongin fluff #jeongin x reader #jeongin smut #jeongin fluff #stray kids jeongin #jeongin break up #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz heartbreak playlist #stray kids heartbreak #skz jeongin #yang jeongin

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seeminglyranch87 · 11 months

Text

Taylor & Travis Timeline

November 2023 - part 1

November 1 - New Heights Podcast episode 61 airs.

Jason appears dressed up as King Triton however Travis neglects to dress up or share photos of a Halloween costume to fans disappointment. The brothers react to people dressing up in their likeness including musician Jax who portrays Taylor putting Travis on the map despite him being an accomplished athlete (x)

“She put me on the map, right there in the video.” “That’s so good, man,” Travis continued with a smile on his face. “God damn, that was golden. Hats off. That was well done. You get a round of applause for that one, I enjoyed that.”

Travis also includes Taylor in the Kelce clan as they sum up their Halloween show… “it's a Kelce Halloween”

November 3 - Travis questioned at Chiefs media conference ahead of game in Germany on Sunday

Asked in reference to Taylor: "What is the latest status and are you in love?" A team mate comments "spice it up... " Travis answers "The latest status is I got to see her last week. That's the latest status right there."

Travis is asked again if he is in love? He replies

"Im going to keep my personal relationship personal" (x 12:54)

When asked about if Taylor will be in attendance at the game Travis answers

“When I mention — or everyone knows — she’s at the game, the Vegas [line] and over-under on my catches goes up and down, The spread goes up and down. So I don’t want to mess with any of that stuff, I’m just going to keep that to myself.”

Travis nicely avoids answering the question but mentions Taylor's attendance affects his game performance and stats.

Taylor pictured dining in NYC with Phoebe Bridgers

November 4 - Taylor is out in NYC with Selena Gomez, Sophie Turner, Cara Delevigne, Gigi Hadid, Brittany Mahomes and other NFL Chiefs WAG's at Bond St Sushi and later Zero Bond.

November 5 - Chiefs v Miami Dolphins, Frankfurt Stadium, Germany. Chiefs defeat Dolphins 21 - 14. Travis becomes the new all time leading receiver in franchise history.

Note Taylor liked this IG post below by People - we love a supportive girlfriend.

Taylor remains in NYC and watched the game from her apartment with Brittany and friends (x). Some of whom are seen leaving after the game.

1989 (TV) debuts at No.1 on Billboard 200!!! This is a re-recorded album!

Nothing like a celebrity couple breaking records ❤️‍🔥!

November 8 - New Heights ep. 63 airs. Jason and Travis hint that Travis is heading to Argentina to support Taylor during his bye week (x 35:05)

“Got anything you’re looking forward to going to?” Jason enquired of Travis. Travis responded, “No, not really. I might just say f**k it and just go somewhere nice, I don’t know. My skin’s getting real pale so I gotta go somewhere sunny.” "Some place south? south of the equator?" Jason asked. “Close to the equator” replied Travis "South of the equator?" Jason questioned with a cheeky grin.

Sources confirm that Travis is indeed joining Taylor on tour in South America via People.com (x)

Taylor is named Apple Music's Artist of the Year for 2023

Taylor Swift arrives in Argentina to begin the South American leg of The Eras Tour. She heads straight to the stadium to rehearse.

November 9 - The Eras Tour, Estadio River Plate, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Taylor debuts a stunning new Lover era pink costume, including leotard, boots and jacket.

The Very First Night (guitar) & Labyrinth (piano). Our girl is falling in LOVE again.

Travis Kelce attends the 15 & the Mahomies Foundation Gala charity event in KC. Taylor donated an item to be auctioned off in support of the cause.

November 10 - The Eras Tour, Estadio River Plate, Buenos Aires, Argentina is postponed to Nov 12 due to bad weather .

Taylor receives 6 Grammy nominations for the 66th Grammy Awards! (x) ✨ Album of the Year - Midnights ✨ Record of the Year - Anti Hero ✨ Song of the Year - Anti Hero ✨ Best Pop Solo Performance - Anti Hero ✨ Best Pop Duo/Group Performance - Karma ✨ Best Pop Vocal Album - Midnights

Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff post to IG congratulating Taylor on her nominations as collaborators on Midnights.

The Messenger release an article (x)

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Are ‘Fully Dating’ and Relationship Is Already ‘Serious’: Source (Exclusive)

"It is serious between Taylor and Travis," a source told The Messenger of the whirlwind romance between the pair. "They are fully dating and in a relationship." The source continued that "neither of them expected them to move quickly, but they have been inseparable since they first connected. They see each other as much as they can during this busy season." "When they are not together, they are constantly FaceTiming and texting," the source added. "Friends around them think it is very cute and they are a great match. Taylor is having a lot of fun with the wives and girlfriends in the league. Brittany Mahomes has welcomed her with open arms and has really been the ring leader merging Taylor, her friends and the girl groups together." "It is a new era for Taylor and she is loving this season of her life," the source continued. "It is very different from her normal group of friends but they have all been having a great time going to the games and bonding together. Taylor has really had an open mind to this new world, and the girls think she's really enjoyable to be around."

Travis Kelce arrives in Argentina. Travis and Taylor dine with Scott Swift at Elena Restaurant, Four Seasons Hotel Buenos Aires . Travis and Taylor and are seen holding hands as they leave the restaurant. (x)(x)(x)

November 11 - The Eras Tour, Estadio River Plate, Buenos Aires, Argentina

Is It Over Now?/Out of the Woods (Guitar) & End Game (Piano)

Travis was in attendance and Taylor lived up to expectation and made sure we knew she had a new love in her life!

Highlights of the evening:

Travis joining in with the crowd singing "Ole Ole Ole Ole Taylor" and Scott Swift filming him (x)

Travis dancing and singing along all evening

Scott Swift wearing a Chiefs lanyard

Taylor turning to look at Travis during "Lover"

Taylor pointing to Travis singing "That's my man" during "Willow".

Taylor pointing to Travis singing "cause you know I love the players, and you love the game" during "Blank Space"

Taylor choosing to sing "End Game" - obviously with Travis in mind and red and yellow light up bracelets during the acoustic section (x)

Taylor singing "Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, coming straight home to me" complete with a little giggle during the final song "Karma" (x)

Travis' cute response to Taylor changing the lyrics in Karma (x)

Travis hyping up the crowd while waiting for Taylor to exit the stage.

Taylor running over to hug and kiss a smiling Travis backstage after the show (x) (x)

November 12- The Eras Tour, Estadio River Plate, Buenos Aires, Argentina (rescheduled show, see Nov 10).

Sl*t (piano) & Better Than Revenge (guitar)

Travis flew out earlier in the day in preparation to return to training in the USA

Taylor flew out immediately after show still in her Midnights costume.

November 13 - Taylor photographed out with Gracie Abrams in NYC

November 15 - New Heights Ep 64 airs Travis and Jason Kelce chat about their bye week and discuss what Travis got up to in Argentina, south of the equator (x 42:20).

Our bestie Jason draws out what we are all wondering about...

"Sounds like a labyrinth of issues" says Jason.

Oh Travis, she is falling in love with you, and Jason saw the Argentina Night 1 acoustic performance of Labyrinth too.

Referencing the lyric change in Karma;

"How does it feel to officially be 'The guy on the Chiefs'?" Jason teased Travis on the podcast. With a laugh, Travis said that he had "no clue" Taylor planned to mention him during her show. "Well, I might have had a little bit of a clue," he then admitted. "But definitely when I heard it come out of her mouth, [it] still shocked me." "Yeah, you could tell in the video," Jason responded. "I was like, 'Oh shh! She really said that,'" Travis marveled.

When Jason notes that Scott Swift is wearing a Chiefs lanyard at the Eras Tour Night 3 he asks...

"What are we doing, Scott? You're gonna let this man's devilish good looks and relationship with your daughter sway you from a lifetime of fandom, Scott? Ridiculous." Travis further explained, "I might have persuaded him at dinner the night before. When I met him."

Travis commenting on the first Eras Tour he has attended as Taylor's boyfriend..

"The show was even more electric knowing that I had a little bit more to enjoy," he said of watching her perform in Argentina. "Taylor absolutely ripped it. She killed it and it looked like she was having some fun up there."

We love to see the support Travis is showing to our little Indie artist.

We are to expect to see Taylor and Travis spending time together during the Eras tour break according to ET sources (x)

"Taylor has a two-month break in her tour, taking December and January off, and the couple is planning to spend more time together" during that time.

ET reports (x)

Donna and Ed Kelce, and Andrea and Scott Swift are expected to meet for the first time on Monday as the Philadelphia Eagles and Kansas City Chiefs face off for Monday Night Football.

We can expect to see Taylor at the November 20 game too.

Go to previous update -> October 2023 Part 2

Go to next update -> November 2023 Part 2

Return to timeline

#taylor swift #taylor and travis #travis kelce #87 and 89 #taylor swift and travis kelce #traylor #killatrav #seemingly ranch #timeline #87 + 13 = 100 #tayvis #Taylor and Travis timeline

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cousticks · 10 months

Note

also if at all possible u should respond to this ask with a list of all your aus -eyes emoji- bc i also have a ton of them myself so

I have many AUs because every time I see a new media my brain immediately interprets into 'okay but what if it was BSD.' I like to tag my aus with emojis, and I'll tag this post with them too for easier access!

There are two I share with my wonderful boyfriend @pmreaper !

One is called the Sheep AU, which is pretty much how it sounds. Basically, "what if everyone ended up in the Sheep instead?" The Akutagawa siblings, Atsushi, and eventually Dazai all end up there, and we have quite a few OCs for it as well to fill out the Sheep ranks! My tag for this AU is 🏠.

The second is... much less happy. Its our "Beastswap" AU, where the regular and Beast universes start bleeding into each other, causing characters to swap out with their Beast counterparts. It causes a lot of angst and misery, mostly. Its set after the events of the Beast novel. My tag for that one is 🏢.

Other, much more neglected AUs I have include:

A Chuuya-Gets-Raised-By-Verlaine AU. Nothing is written for it yet, but I have the actual planning of it relatively fleshed out. Its a lot of fun. Chuuya ends up pretty weird. I like it. Tagged with 🛬.

A "Real Steel" AU. Knowledge of the movie is not necessary because I borrow the universe its set in, not the plot. Its basically a neat take on futuristic bot fighting that I had the passing thought of "oh I can totally BSD this" and got really attached to. My tag for that is 🤖.

Years ago I made a lighthearted Polar Express AU as a joke, but who knows I might bring it back and actually do something with it for winter. Tagged as 🚂 if I ever do more with it instead of just a joke.

Another kind of 'holiday' themed one I just recently started tossing around in the back of my head is a Dazai-focused Its A Wonderful Life AU, because I think putting him in the situation of that movie would be kind of fun. Again, borrowing the concept, not the plot, so its not a 1:1 AU. I'd really like to do more with it, so I'll assign it a tag here. 🪽.

My last one is pretty old, but I have an Afterlife AU that's good fun. Sure, everyone died and that kind of sucks, but the real fun for them is in the afterlife. Its a "Heaven/Hell/Fallen Angel" sort of thing, but not in the way you'd expect. Everyone spends their times bending the laws of heaven and Earth to manipulate the world. I'll give it the☁️ tag because I should totally talk about it more in the future too.

I've certainly come up with many more AUs in my time, but these are all the ones that have any kind of concrete thoughts to them!

#asks? answered. hotel? trivago.#🏠#🏢#🛬#🤖#🚂#🪽#☁️

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punkscowardschampions · 1 year

Text

Grace, Nancy, Teddy & Gia Pt.1

Nancy: Safe travels, my lovely

Nancy: I totally understand why you didn’t want to stay until tonight, even though I’m gutted to see you go, obvs 🤍🤍🤍

Grace: ☁️🛫🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍🛬☁️

Grace: you’re THE BEST for understanding TYSM & I’m SO sorry AGAIN!!

Nancy: No, don’t be silly, it’s happened to us all at one point or another

Nancy: And I looked at his socials, he didn’t post anything about you, so, that’s a positive

Grace: oh GOD why is it ALWAYS me though??! 😭😭

Grace: girl, I told you, he’s an 😇

Grace: 💔💔💔 FML

Nancy: I don’t even UNDERSTAND how you got quite that drunk… like, you were REALLY hammered

Nancy: You must’ve had more than you remember, it doesn’t make ANY sense otherwise

Grace: idk idk 💀 what I DO remember is so so bad it’ll literally haunt me forever 😳😬

Nancy: If he’s such a 😇

Nancy: like… why did we end up here? I’m trying to understand your thought process

Grace: it’s COS he is, I know that doesn’t make sense…

Nancy: Because you didn’t feel good enough

Grace: 👌🏽 maybe it makes total sense, cos yeah

Nancy: Babe 🥺😭😭

Nancy: but you only ended up acting like 1000% worse than you actually are because of that 💭

Grace: 😭😭😭😭

Grace: I spiralled, I’m SUCH an idiot

Nancy: Look, he probably ended up as drunk as you when he went to the club after, he won’t remember [whatever embarrassing detail either she told you last night when wasted or Teddy did in that lil debrief]

Grace: 🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍 cos I’ll wanna die if he remembers that or [something else you clearly did as bad or worse] BUT I can’t get my hopes up, like, I’m literally NOT good enough for him, last night proved it

Grace: I freaked out but I was right, still

Nancy: I bet he’s been on hundreds of worse dates, it’ll barely register

Nancy: You’re just insecure and traumatized, that doesn’t make you a bad person, AT ALL

Grace: me too I’ve been on 1000000s & here I am 😱👻 ILY for trying to make it better but you can’t

Nancy: You should get a bloody mary on the plane, you’ve earnt it

Grace: 💡👏🏽

Grace: ☕️ isn’t gonna be strong enough & it’s 🤴🏼 triggering now anyway

Nancy: If he actually managed to cure you of your caffeine addiction, you’d have to send him a thank you note

Grace: 😂 he’d really be asking himself wtf is wrong with me then

Nancy: Aren’t manners very 😇? 😏

Grace: you’re asking the wrong girl, babes

Grace: I’m no 😇 if only 🥺😭😭 & me sending a 💌 would have the poor boy thinking I’m 12 now I’ve drank like it in front of him

Nancy: He should have taken better care of you, I said it before and I’ll say it again 🤷‍♀️

Grace: it isn’t his fault, he thought I ate CARBS 👌🏽👌🏽 it’s mine I tricked him

Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔

Nancy: Okay but who orders for someone in this day and age, that was weird, it isn’t the 50s

Grace: he was being romantic

Nancy: Oh God, you really like him, don’t you?

Grace: I’m just saying, I ruined it, he didn’t do anything wrong

Nancy: But do you like him, like actually?

Grace: it doesn’t matter, we’ll NEVER see each other again, I can’t & he won’t wanna 🙈🙉🙊

Nancy: Say he did, though

Grace: ofc I like him I’m not brain damaged

Nancy: As someone you’d like to see properly

Grace: in this, like, pure fantasyland we’re 💬 in rn, duh, but in reality there’s no way

Nancy: Stranger things have happened

Grace: mhmm & all the weird things that happen to me are BAD so

Nancy: 😔 Well, it’s over now, honey

Grace: thank god, I just wanna go home

Nancy: 💔

Grace: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like yours isn’t

Grace: you know that isn’t my 💭💭

Nancy: No, it’s fine

Nancy: I just wish I had somewhere I could run back to too, that’s all, that’s not on you

Grace: I should’ve stayed, none of this is on you 😔

Grace: I’m the actual WORST & you can hate me if you wanna

Nancy: You have school tomorrow anyway, you should focus on that, getting your grades to get out

Grace: idc about school I’m not getting the grades & they’ll lowkey have to keep me there forever or give up ��🙄🙄

Grace: you’re where my focus is 🤍

Nancy: 🥺 You’ll make me cry

Nancy: I’m just so sorry that it didn’t go better for you, I feel like it’s my fault for saying you should get changed or something 😟😟

Grace: no no no DON’T EVEN!! you did EVERYTHING right too!!

Grace: you told me not to 🤮 & I didn’t listen

Nancy: I just wish I could protect you from feeling like that, it really breaks my heart

Grace: 😭😭😭😭

Grace: I put you in an impossible situation, I literally shouldn’t have told you, idk what I was thinking

Nancy: you can tell me anything, I always want that

Grace: it isn’t fair it’s TOO MUCH & all I’ve done is made you feel 💔 too

Grace: I’m so SO sorry

Nancy: Shh, it’s all okay, that’s what I’m here for, we get each other

Grace: I PROMISE it was a 1 time thing & I’m not gonna do it again EVER 🤞🏽🤍🤞🏽🤍

Nancy: 🤝🤍🤝

Nancy: Because you don’t even NEED to do it

Grace: I didn’t know what else to do but it’s okay cos I’m not gonna be there again, it’s over like you said

Nancy: You just can’t be with someone if they’re going to make you feel like that, even without knowing themselves

Grace: I’ll just have to die alone, at least I still have you & you’re not mad at me 🙏🏽🤍🙌🏽

Nancy: Girl, we’ll be together, because same

Grace: is THAT why you got a dog??

Nancy: That sounded filthy, Grace! 😲😂

Grace: UM 😂😂 I was just saying you missed the memo lonely old ladies usually get cats 😂

Grace: or dogs they can fit in their laps anyway 😂

Nancy: Wellllllll the person I know with the most cats is your mama and she ain’t ever been lonely so 😶

Nancy: It’s good to have one like Rex, living alone, he can protect me

Grace: 👌🏽👌🏽 no need to rub it in &/or bring her up rn ty

Nancy: We’re all jealous, sis

Grace: don’t I know it… me most of all

Nancy: Truly men are only good for one thing and she is so right for that

Nancy: I give up on them for anything BUT, I swear 🤞🤦‍♀️

Grace: wow, okay, cool then I JUST give up

Nancy: Nun vibes 👰‍♀️✝️

Grace: or lesbian vibes, but no, I still CAN’T

Grace: that would be WORSE

Nancy: You are SUCH a bigot, OMG 🤪

Grace: 🏳️‍🌈 excuse you I’m an amazing ally 🏳️‍🌈

Nancy: 😂😂😂😂

Grace: whatever, how am I the freak, again, cos I don’t want the 1 thing men are good for?? it’s so rude

Nancy: You really would be better off if you liked girls, a man is never going to give you the emotional support you need, I swear

Nancy: Life is such a sick joke, honestly 🙃

Grace: I’d have to kms or date the UGLIEST girls ever

Grace: neither are the mood

Nancy: 🏆👸 is so real

Grace: UGH, this much baggage is EXHAUSTING

Nancy: and you 😴 for a thousand years, snoring SO LOUDLY

Grace: MEAN!!

Nancy: my ears were bleeding keeping you safe, hoe 😘

Grace: IOU for not letting me die I GUESS though it doesn’t feel like a HUGE favour rn ngl

Nancy: It’s okay, you’re allowed to be ungrateful rn

Grace: when are things gonna get better?? I wish I was gay then it’s, like, guaranteed they HAVE TO

Nancy: When you get to train, be qualified, at least then you’ll have your business to build up and focus on… works for my parents

Grace: cos they also have each other

Nancy: I think my mum would still be happy, without any of us, tbh

Grace: mine too

Nancy: Why did they bother, honestly? 🤷‍♀️😕

Grace: I can’t deal with how they can take for granted something I really badly want

Nancy: 💔 I know

Nancy: I’ll not do it, in solidarity

Grace: 🥺😭😭

Grace: I’d NEVER stop you though! you take SUCH good care of me, any kid would be the LUCKIEST ever

Nancy: No baby would be as cool as you anyway, even if it was remotely possible for me and the way my life is shaping up, no way

Grace: Rex is the lucky one for rn 💖👑💖

Nancy: True 😍😍😍

Nancy: My parents don’t need any more grandkids yet, I am NOT trying to compete with him on this 😷

Grace: Yeah I DON’T wanna talk about it either

Nancy: I can’t believe they made it to now though, she must have got rid of some, right?

Nancy: Like, she’s nearly 25, how long have they been together? There’s no way

Grace: STOP ⛔️⛔️

Nancy: I’ve got feelings about it too, babe

Nancy: She was like, my best friend since birth before they did… THAT

Grace: it’ll forever be too much to unpack, I just CAN’T

Nancy: There’s going to be a baby explosion in your family soon though, you need to prepare yourself mentally

Grace: …

Grace: I’ll NEVER be mentally strong enough 😣😣

Nancy: It’s the reality though, AWFUL as it is

Grace: I know 😭

Nancy: Jan and Ava claimed to be more sensible but look at the pair of them

Nancy: Ugh, it stresses me OUT 😥

Grace: I’ve totally changed my mind, I wish I wasn’t going home now

Nancy: Don’t they all, like, live with you, basically

Nancy: I couldn’t STAND to watch Ava and James all loved up with his kids like they’re theirs all the time like that

Grace: I’m counting down the days til I can leave, obviously

Nancy: Yeah, I bet

Nancy: like he’s nice to look at but if that’s never coming your way it’s entirely depressing

Grace: UGH

Nancy: I should’ve locked it down with James whilst I had the chance, he is too intent on ruining my sister’s life with his mistakes now

Grace: but then instead he’d be ruining yours

Nancy: She’s my little sister, I’d do anything for her

Grace: 🥺 I know, but you’re like my big sister, I can’t let you 🥺

Nancy: 💞💞💞💞💞

Nancy: I just wish I could make her see it for what it is, that’s all

Grace: me too, I’ve tried talking to her loads of times even though she treats me like I’m stupid whenever I do

Nancy: They’ve got way too much pride, they can’t see we’re trying to help but

Nancy: at least we try, however unappreciated

Grace: I wish you were my sister, I hate the ones I’ve got, they don’t try AT ALL

Nancy: I’m more than that, it’s special 🤍🔒🤍

Grace: I should be allowed to live with you, it’s not like anyone cares if I go to school or not when I’m back there OR what else I do

Nancy: The way your school works is SO confusing though, if you were here you could already be in your last year of your beauty course instead of them forcing you to do like sixth form schooly vibes

Grace: IKR?!

Nancy: Like, you DON’T want to go to Uni and be that girl… such a waste of time 💀💀

Grace: & when I don’t pass which DUH I’m NOT gonna, hello??! they’ll try & make me redo the year, they do it ALL the time 💀💀

Nancy: Oh babes, not you being like 20 still in your uniform, you cannot, that’s TOO much

Grace: 😷😷😷

Grace: I’ll have to walk out with no exams 👋🏽😘 idc cos I don’t need to look back when I leave ❤️💂🦁🌹🤍☔️🤍🫖🎡💷💙

Nancy: We cannot wait 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰

Nancy: we being me and Rex, obvs

Grace: not you & whoever you hit up last night while I was being unhinged in [whatever the restaurant is called] ??

Nancy: Lord no, no daddy for you yet, sorry 😌

Grace: I’m the opposite of mad about it 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰

Nancy: I would call you out but as you plan to be forever single too, it’s all good 😘

Grace: sorry not sorry!! I need you 🤍🔒🤍

Nancy: Forever and ever, girl

Grace: I miss you already & always

Grace: this is gonna be the LONGEST week of my life 🙄🥱

Nancy: I don’t even know HOW I’m going to fill my weekdays, for real 😩

Nancy: Gonna have to hit up this 🔗 even though idc about him

Grace: with dog walks ?? 😂😂😂 jk I know you would NEVER 😂

Nancy: 😆 My 🍑 would thank me but nah

Grace: ❌🐶💩🚫

Nancy: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Grace: … can I ask you for a favour that’s maybe almost as bad?

Nancy: … Go on

Grace: can you keep checking in on Teddy for a sec?? cos I had to unfollow obvs & I wanna make sure he’s not, like, swearing off all girls & planning to die alone too… I’d feel worse than I already do atm 💔💔

Nancy: Of course, we have plenty of mutual friends anyway, I will undoubtedly see or hear of his whereabouts

Grace: thanks, it’s cringe to ask but, like, I have now so ✌🏽

Nancy: It’s cool, he’s not going to find out you did

Grace: yeah true 🙌🏽

Nancy: You don’t want a report back, do you?

Nancy: Like I’ll just make sure he’s cool but I won’t blow you up over it

Grace: I’ll be calm, it’s none of my business anyway

Grace: as long as he’s okay & over it

Nancy: 👌

Grace: IOU again 🤍

Nancy: [Me like, should probably come at this boy and cackle so you don’t lose your composure here hun]

Grace: [go for it gal]

Nancy: I was THIS close to losing it

Teddy: Dare I ask why?

Nancy: [just send him a screenshot of this poor gal earnestly wanting to check you aren’t heartbroken]

Nancy: See?

Teddy: That I did an incredible job on her? Yes but I already knew it 💔🧸💐 Poor me

Nancy: God, you make me sick 😏

Nancy: I thought she was joking, in a rare display of self-awareness

Teddy: I’d love to make you sick, choose your preferred method & get back to me

Nancy: Haven’t you got a noose to fill?

Nancy: The devastation being as real as it is

Teddy: Okay, auto erotic asphyxiation it is 👀

Nancy: 🙄😘

Nancy: With the mood she’s in, my death will look like a suicide pact

Teddy: She’s gone, get in the mood I’m in

Nancy: You’re being so subtle, however will I guess what mood that is?

Teddy: & you’re being hilarious, of course I miss you

Nancy: I miss you more

Nancy: having to listen to her holier-than-thou version of you just made me want to talk to the real you

Teddy: Invite me over & you can do more than talk

Nancy: Do you have to be invited in 🧛‍♂️

Teddy: No, but it’ll upset Rex if I barge in, he’s protective of you

Nancy: He is 🥺

Nancy: you’ll have to be nice, if you come for a visit

Teddy: It’ll be different when I have a 🔑 but for now I’ll behave well & let him be the man of the house

Nancy: It’d be mean of you to put him in his place today, he doesn’t know he isn’t meant to be top dog yet, poor baby

Teddy: I’ve missed him too so I’ll be 😇 daddy & not 😈

Nancy: 🤏 triggering for me but I’ll let it slide, you can’t help how boring she’d like you to be

Teddy: It won’t be boring for either of us when you relay everything she said about me

Nancy: We talked about A LOT of stuff, there’s definite potential for progress

Teddy: Good

Teddy: & has your new bed arrived yet?

Nancy: Luckily after she got to the airport

Nancy: she’s already confused about the sudden appearance of the dog

Teddy: You live alone, you need him

Nancy: Yes but you know, I can’t fit it in a handbag and I’ve not made him his own social media profiles… so why did I bother ???

Teddy: 🙄 hers are full of cats, she’s hardly the authority on dogs

Nancy: She has no taste, sorry to say

Nancy: She definitely thinks he’s scary but is not gonna say that to my face

Teddy: I’m aware, darling, the disgusting clothes she tried to pick out on her own before I stepped in spoke for themselves

Teddy: but she’s correct about one thing, she should be scared of him

Nancy: You have pretty good taste in clothes, if my memory serves

Teddy: Nothing is going to look anything but awful on her body regardless but I like that you’ve noticed

Nancy: Yeah, well, I kept the lingerie on for ages

Teddy: I still owe you an outfit too, I haven’t forgotten

Nancy: How is your head this morning?

Teddy: Fantastic, if you’d like me to make us our reservation at [the restaurant he took Grace too so they can recreate it] for tonight, I will

Nancy: I suppose we’ll have to eat at some point, true

Teddy: I’ll bring home for Rex what I ordered for her, I couldn’t possibly suggest you eat it

Nancy: You wanted to make me sick, not give me a lifelong disorder, yeah?

Teddy: I want to make you happy, baby

Nancy: You’re helping

Nancy: how comfy this bed is is high up the list too

Teddy: Are you going to show me?

Nancy: [send him a pic on this enormous bed like omg]

Nancy: You could fit so many 🐶 in this thing

Teddy: I’ll make you 🤰 sick & we’ll see how many babies we can fit in there

Nancy: I am really in the mood to get pregnant after promising her I would never so

Nancy: good thing our moods are matching

Teddy: Because you’re breaking a promise to her I’ll make one to give you twins that aren’t mutants like your brothers, for yours & your parents’ sake

Nancy: You’re SO giving

Nancy: I’ll make sure they’re boys, for your sake

Teddy: Thank you, it would mean A LOT to me

Nancy: Anything for you seems like a risky precedent to set but I’m not scared

Teddy: I couldn’t be any prouder of you for overcoming your fear of me

Nancy: You’re even cuter than Rex, just don’t say anything

Teddy: I’m only in the mood to say your name

Nancy: let me hear it

Teddy: [SUCH a shameless voice note, me like sir you live at home, thank god you do have a rich person gaff and are probably as far away from your parents as poss]

Nancy: 🥴 Oh

Nancy: the fact you can do that as loud as you want now

Teddy: I’m determined all your neighbours are going to hate me LONG before I move in

Nancy: They’ll be begging me to throw another party instead 😁

Teddy: They’ll have to wait until I’ve finished begging you for what I want

Nancy: Baby

Teddy: It’s quite a list, they’ll probably be rather impatient, I’m sorry

Nancy: I’m not

Teddy: Me either, not at all

Nancy: I can’t leave you needy

Teddy: What kind of mother would you be if that’s the precedent?

Nancy: The only mother of your children you want

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: I’m really glad you get to give me everything you have, it’d be wrong to hold back, wrong for us

Teddy: Our moods definitely are matching

Nancy: I couldn’t have got her out the door fast enough

Teddy: You know I’d have to trick you if you didn’t want what I want & I’d feel bad about it

Nancy: Sorry I’m as fucked up as you

Nancy: we can trick everyone else, whenever we want to use them

Teddy: I’m not, I love that you’re as fucked up as I am

Nancy: It makes me want to be with you always, how high I feel thinking about the things I can admit to liking to you

Teddy: You can tell me anything, I’m not afraid of that as a set precedent either

Nancy: I want to feel you getting hard under me when I tell you everything she said

Teddy: Okay, I’ll try & think about something else for a while so it’s how I have to become again instead of just the state I’m already in

Nancy: It’d be so hypocritical of me to expect that, but you’ll get more turned on, twitchy, trying to fuck me, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

Teddy: I am a new level of turned on since we started doing this

Nancy: it’s unreal, you are

Teddy: You are, it’s unbelievable I haven’t fucked you yet, the amount I’ve thought about it & the amount I’ve cum for you

Nancy: I want to feel like I’m full to the brim, like genuinely can’t move for it, that’s the only thing that would be appropriate

Teddy: You will, I woke up feeling like that

Nancy: 🤤 you should’ve woken up in my mouth, I’m so sorry

Teddy: It isn’t your fault you had to wake up to her big mouth, I’m sorry, you deserve so much better

Nancy: Her crying is foreplay, that’s as good as she will be for us

Teddy: Please tell me you recorded it 🙏

Nancy: Do I love you?

Teddy: Desperately

Nancy: and I as desperately wanted to touch myself whilst she was, so, yes, it was necessary

Teddy: I as desperately need to marry you right now

Nancy: the answer is yes

Teddy: You’re fucking perfect

Nancy: Boys are always too nice and I hate them for it so much

Nancy: you’re the most special, my dream boy

Teddy: Tell me about it, most girls are pathetic, it makes my stomach turn over in the opposite to a fun way

Nancy: I’ve spent so damn long being unsatisfied by everything and everyone, no matter the combination or how long I kept it all going

Teddy: I know, so was I

Nancy: We were with the same people, on the same things, it barely touching the sides

Teddy: I was beginning to feel as devastated by it all for real as Grace thinks she is

Nancy: Tell me about it, it’s exhausting, staying on their level when I want to go so much further

Teddy: & then you get reckless, do things you wouldn’t & shouldn’t otherwise

Teddy: I stayed with [the girl from the very beginning she asked him about] too long

Nancy: She’d turn you normal, I’ve watched it happen so many times

Teddy: I felt it starting to happen

Nancy: You were born for this, to be depraved

Teddy: You can’t decide you want something besides this, we’ll never find anything else like it again

Nancy: I just want more, no boundaries

Teddy: I don’t have any, my father paid a fortune every term to prevent me from being expelled from school

Nancy: As he should, how much of this is his fault

Teddy: I insist upon the majority of the credit, naturally

Nancy: You’re the one I want, not either of your siblings, so it must be true

Teddy: Nurture, or lack of, can only be blamed to an extent

Teddy: DNA the same

Nancy: Our kids don’t stand a chance

Teddy: They stand every chance of being just like us, which is why anyone reproduces in the first place

Teddy: at least your ego, unlike your brother’s, is worthy of being gifted that, because you’re incredible

Nancy: No, you

Nancy: I don’t know how I’m meant to act around all your mini-mes 😍

Teddy: However you like, they owe you everything, they wouldn’t even exist if not for you

Nancy: They’ll be the most spoilt, there’s no way to resist

Teddy: No, you will

Nancy: 🥰

Nancy: Nothing is changing this, touching what this is

Teddy: I’d seriously go insane

Nancy: Not in a fun way

Teddy: When I thought this was over

Nancy: I could feel the spiral coming, the amount of shit I’d have to do to try and replace what this has given me already

Teddy: It’s irreplaceable, I wouldn’t be able to try, I’d have to give up & become like them

Nancy: I won’t let it happen

Teddy: We can’t

Nancy: I’m done watching everyone get taken over

Nancy: you don’t deserve that slow death

Teddy: I’m going to watch you get everything you’ve ever wanted, nothing else

Nancy: This is going to be the best week of your life, you have no idea

Teddy: I have lots of ideas

Nancy: that is what I like about you

Teddy: But yeah, it is going to be the best week of my life, no doubt

Nancy: So far, anyway

Nancy: I don’t plan on stopping

Teddy: & I absolutely don’t intend to stop you

Nancy: At least you can seem suitably subdued on your socials but still have things you can post, keep her 👀 off you

Teddy: Hers are going to be too funny

Nancy: Are we going to be genuine with how we’re struggling this week or act like we’re living our best life? 🤔😂

Teddy: Genuine isn’t something she can do, clearly

Nancy: yeah but what if you’re stalking her socials because you’re SO into her?!

Teddy: Of course

Nancy: The weird confidence with a total lack of self-esteem in general is so weird

Teddy: It would be sufficiently jarring to frighten off other boys with a different motive

Nancy: That is what she does best, yeah

Teddy: I’d offer her some tips if it weren’t entirely counterproductive & a secret how much they like me

Nancy: It’s safe to say you do not have the same type, if she was honest with what she wants and not what she wants to look like she wants

Nancy: should actually go to church to find herself a man but there we go

Teddy: She’d rather live a lie & she’s about to

Nancy: She’s so welcome 🥰

Teddy: 🧚🏼‍♂️

Nancy: You’ll really wanna ease up on the fairy stuff though, she is basically homophobic

Teddy: I can’t wait to introduce her to the family, she’ll fit right in

Nancy: Gross

Teddy: Her mother will sleep with anything with a pulse, a paid therapist isn’t necessary to recognise the correlation

Nancy: She would choose to ignore how the multiple baby daddies are the issue there 🙄

Teddy: She’d have her own by now, she obviously doesn’t see it as an issue

Nancy: It unavoidably is, kinda shocked she didn’t go that hard into her trauma once she was hammered but well done, sis 💁‍♀️👏

Nancy: She just wants to be normal, despite the fact her complete lack of defining or unique features is what makes her so easy to overlook

Teddy: She’s given me a ridiculously easy task at least, be a bore & a romantic cliche

Nancy: 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Nancy: Thank God I’ve given you other chances to impress me

Teddy: I would’ve found & taken the opportunity if you were for some reason yet to be impressed

Nancy: I usually am but

Nancy: I want you to change that so you better

Teddy: Is that my eagerly awaited invitation?

Nancy: Are you really not on the way already?

Teddy: Perhaps, or perhaps not

Nancy: I’m not getting out the good paper to write you one, come on

Teddy: There’s the dyslexic privilege I’m ready to exploit

Nancy: Focus on exploiting me, thanks

Teddy: Focus & you’ll be aware I’m on my way

Nancy: I’m very focused, I have no other plans today

Teddy: I’m very pleased to hear it

Nancy: This bed is too nice to get out of

Teddy: It should be, we worked hard to make it nice with all those decisions

Nancy: I hope you like it, enough to stay

Teddy: I like you enough to stay

Nancy: You make me feel

Nancy: it’s like weak and dumb but in a good way, somehow?

Teddy: Well, I did insist I’d treat you better than your father & that’s what they do in the negative, so I’m on the right track

Nancy: I hadn’t forgotten, sort of seared into my brain, that one 😳

Teddy: I hated when you said you weren’t going to hold me to anything I’d said

Nancy: Yeah, I know, it was mean

Teddy: You’re not allowed to forget, it’s too important & we both know how in your face Grace & I are going to be

Nancy: Alright, I’ll hold myself to it

Teddy: I love you, remember I said it to you first

Nancy: and you’ve told me, any motive you could have

Teddy: I’ll repeat it every chance I have

Nancy: I’ll try not to be cunty to you, remember why we’re doing this

Nancy: at some point, I’ll have to turn into your biggest fan anyway

Teddy: Fighting just means making up, I’ll try & remind myself

Nancy: I don’t do jealousy, this would be a stupid reason to start

Teddy: You being jealous of anyone is laughable, over her it couldn’t be more ridiculous

Nancy: You can call me dumb about this, I’ll not fight you

Teddy: It means you care, I don’t want to fight about that

Nancy: I know you like it, you’re soft

Teddy: I most certainly am not

Teddy: [photographic evidence nobody asked for, soz as per to whoever is driving him rn]

Nancy: Oh, OKAY

Nancy: I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong 🥺🥺🥺

Teddy: Did you pick me because you think I’m soft?

Nancy: I didn’t know you were

Teddy: I’m curious what it means, aside from a blatant 🧚🏼‍♂️ slur, possibly?

Nancy: Yeah, I’m cyberbullying you right now 😉

Nancy: I’m not sure exactly what I mean… just that you’re more invested than I thought you’d be, maybe? You want more than what I assumed you would

Teddy: You expected me to be more calculating, callous, I understand why

Nancy: Just more predictable even

Nancy: All I offered you at the start was the chance to use her and a share of a decent stash, remember

Teddy: I haven’t forgotten you owe me A LOT of K, predictable as that may be

Nancy: 😏 we’ll find somewhere not entirely predictable to take it

Teddy: One thing you should’ve already had a fixed idea of about me is I’ll always be willing to go deeper down the rabbit hole, Alice

Teddy: the moment a better offer comes along, that’s what I want, regardless of how far away from the starting point it is

Nancy: I didn’t imagine you’d say no to a chance of hooking up

Nancy: but more like you’re ticking off a who’s who, not this

Teddy: Nobody, aside from your sister, has ever said no to hooking up, it’s not what I said yes to, I didn’t imagine that part would even be much fun

Nancy: That’s a little rude

Teddy: I’ve never been happier to be proved wrong either, darling

Nancy: You haven’t yet, no pressure or anything

Teddy: But I have, it’s been the most fun so far

Nancy: But if it’s shit now I’ll have to pretend I never said any of this and kick you out

Teddy: Oh please, I’d refuse to go anywhere until it was good

Teddy: Who do you think I am?

Nancy: You’re the one that’s put it in my head

Nancy: You’ll have to take the spare room and start paying rent

Teddy: I’m used to being disappointed, I’ve been open about that, it isn’t a personal attack worthy of charging me rent

Nancy: 👌 roomie

Teddy: Okay, fine, I’ll add it to our roleplays

Nancy: but I know what you mean

Nancy: and can guess why you wanted to do it in the first place

Teddy: We’ve talked through our motives pretty extensively by now, but if you feel like there’s something you’re still doing guesswork on, you can ask me

Nancy: The lack of a challenge she presents is more than made up in the one I do, it’s simple enough

Teddy: If you were a challenge

Nancy: Really?

Teddy: Come on, it hasn’t exactly taken us long to get here

Nancy: Wow

Teddy: There’s no reason to be offended

Nancy: I’m not, just disappointed, so what’s new

Teddy: There’s less reason to be disappointed

Nancy: I’m not about to play into your hand, so you have every reason to be disappointed, actually

Teddy: It isn’t a game, you know that

Nancy: but it is, and that’s why you said yes

Teddy: It was when I agreed to do this, it’s not anymore

Nancy: Alright

Teddy: What are you upset about?

Nancy: I’m not upset, you just reminded me what we’re actually doing here

Teddy: Nancy, this is silly

Nancy: You only feel it now because you reckoned you were about to achieve your goal

Teddy: No, I don’t feel it because that isn’t what my goal is

Nancy: We have no reason to trust each other, that’s stupid

Teddy: Are you seriously going to do this again?

Nancy: Obviously

Teddy: You do trust me

Nancy: That would be stupid

Teddy: You’re being stupid not to when the entire reason we’re here this fast is because we’re so well suited

Nancy: and not just how easy it was because you’re so great, right?

Teddy: How many times can I tell you I’m not playing you?

Nancy: That’s what you say when you’re trying, you slipped up, sorry

Teddy: You want me to slip up because, you said it yourself, you feel under pressure

Nancy: If it was real, of course I would, that’s intentional too

Teddy: Call it off because you’re scared, it’s nonsense to go for this angle & turn me into someone I am not

Nancy: Be who you want, Teddy

Teddy: If who you want to be is crazy I can’t talk to you

Nancy: We don’t need to talk, it’s not useful to either of us right now

Teddy: When you’ve seen sense you know where I am or am likely to be

Nancy: I’ll avoid where I imagine you’re more likely to be if you do the same for me

Teddy: I don’t promise to

Nancy: Why would you bother

Teddy: It isn’t beneficial for either of us for me to give you your own way when you’re this wrong about why you want it

Nancy: all I want now is to party and there are so many places I can achieve that, even if I have to walk out of any you might be in

Teddy: I won’t be there, I have no interest in piling disappointment upon disappointment, it’s all boring, I told you

Nancy: I know what it is, it’s what I have

Teddy: No, we have each other if you just stop

Nancy: How, you made that impossible

Teddy: Nothing is impossible, even while you’re having an insane identity crisis about this, I know who we both are

Nancy: Don’t be so bloody patronising

Teddy: Don’t behave like your clueless cousin

Nancy: Shut up, she has no backbone, she wouldn’t say any of this

Teddy: It’s the same act of sabotage with an identical end result

Nancy: If you think I’m going to sit around and cry about you like that, dream on

Teddy: I’m painfully aware of what you’re going to do & it’s as tragic

Nancy: I don’t call you tragic for being a slut

Teddy: Because I’m not going to fuck someone else instead of you in order to fake I’m still in control when I’m really losing it

Nancy: I just have no interest in fucking you now, as shocking as that might be to you

Teddy: It doesn’t shock me at all your new plan is to lie to yourself & to me

Nancy: Jesus

Teddy: Have a blast being deluded with most of the city about one thing or another, I hope you get the chemical help you need to do so

Nancy: You’re delusional if you think anything about this is attractive

Teddy: I’m not on a mission to attract you, you’re the one who thinks I am, or was

Nancy: Just another day for you, obviously

Teddy: Believe what you want, Nance

Nancy: You’re shit at this

Teddy: Because I’ve never done it before, a fact you’d know if you dared to accept this is actually different

Nancy: Every time I try, you just remind me how it ain’t

Teddy: Maybe you’re right, because whenever you doubt my motives & question me constantly, I have to ask myself why I’m trying to change anything about the way my life is

Nancy: Nothing about this is easy, chat all you want about me wasting my time and being delusional like it’s not what you’re going to go back to

Teddy: But that’s where you’re wrong, it would be easy for me to stay with you

Teddy: I don’t want to go back, I want to go fucking forwards, together

Nancy: I don’t know what’s forward, what’s there

Teddy: Yes you do, but you don’t want it, you don’t trust me enough to let yourself

Nancy: I don’t, and I don’t trust myself

Nancy: I should already be there by now

Teddy: Then that’s it, we can stick to the Grace plan or not, whatever you like, take some time to think about if that’s something you still want

Nancy: Don’t talk to me like this is a meeting

Teddy: It more or less is

Nancy: You can fuck off then

Teddy: Okay

Nancy: Not okay, prick

Teddy: [just leave that there for now hun like the petty bitch you are fucking off despite the fact she wants to keep having a go]

Nancy: [we really fucked you over genetically for having a temper hun, keep your mouth closed though, just unfollow him dramatically everywhere you can for the petty spike of feelings that will give you at least]

Teddy: [obvs you gotta unfollow her too & most importantly you gotta interact with whatever Grace is posting even if it’s just a like or a story view or something because duh, hard same on being cruel and dramatic]

Nancy: [when Grace would definitely tell you so you’re just here seething]

Teddy: [soz not soz, well soz to Grace but you know, oh lads you do amuse me]

Nancy: Can you actually stop, thanks

Teddy: I’m having my own fun, you can’t stop me

Nancy: You said take some time so let me

Teddy: I’m likewise not preventing you from doing that

Nancy: You obviously are because what is that if not going ahead with the Grace plan

Teddy: For all she knows my finger slipped, it commits you to nothing because it can just as easily mean nothing

Nancy: I’m the one who has to discuss what it does or doesn’t mean with her, so no, cut the crap

Teddy: 🥱

Nancy: Teddy, I’m serious because I’m not in the mood to humour her about this

Teddy: I’m done, you don’t need to cry about it

Nancy: You know the damage is already done, that’s why you did it, thanks SO much

Teddy: You’re SO welcome

Nancy: You’re making the decision easier to make

Teddy: Oh good, after all, it is what a gentleman would do & I’m about to forgo the role, have to do what I can while I can

Nancy: You’re as free to continue wooing her as I am to tell her why you started

Teddy: If I was interested in doing so for its own sake, I wouldn’t need your permission, you’re correct

Nancy: You’re that transparent, don’t worry

Teddy: Yes I am & yet here we are

Nancy: You really had to make her talk to me though? Think of something better

Teddy: Why would I? It’s the ideal punishment

Nancy: Because I could call it all off for real if she doesn’t shut the fuck up

Teddy: I don’t care if you do, it’s you who’ll lose out

Nancy: Bullshit

Teddy: I’m not invested in Grace or in any of the rest of your family, I am in you & as you’ve pointed out, I’m wasting my time

Teddy: there’s a multitude of other things I can use to do that too

Nancy: And none of them are as fun, clearly

Teddy: Well, I’m hardly having fun with you either, so as I’ve said, who cares?

Nancy: Because I can’t wreck my family on my own and you can’t yours

Teddy: I’ll find a way which doesn’t involve you or needing anyone’s help, I’ll have plenty of time, nothing but, in fact

Nancy: Right, of course you will

Teddy: There’s no need to pretend my family will be that difficult to ruin, they’re halfway to having done it themselves

Nancy: And how long have they been like that, centuries?

Teddy: Darling, I’m not as old as you, it isn’t as pressing

Nancy: Your choice

Teddy: Yeah

Nancy: Good luck, sorry if she runs to your inbox to shout, or, you’re welcome? Whatever

Teddy: 😘

Nancy: 👋

Teddy: [that went well, go and cause a family argument IRL or something to try and feel something, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled]

Nancy: [we’ve probably likewise snapped at Grace without fully doing a tell-all and now need to have a party and piss off the neighbours again with our behaviour, thanks gal lol]

Teddy: [me like don’t you turn up at that party, boy]

Nancy: [she says don’t you do it honey]

Teddy: [like, he’s very much not above it, especially because his dog is there but it’s probably a bigger fuck you to act like you’re ignoring her entirely unless you’re gonna show purely to take said dog but then what sir, you live at home, you can’t]

Nancy: [that really makes it not the move you think it is, like where are you taking that dog, boy, yes this flat is entirely funded by our parents but at least they aren’t here lol]

Teddy: [mhmm, exactly so don’t, flop]

Gia: Why did you choose today to be a colossal nightmare?

Teddy: Why not today?

Gia: Because it is the only day I can guarantee any time spent with my family

Teddy: Noted, every day of your life is a colossal nightmare, but that’s hardly something I’m to blame for

Gia: You are to blame for Seb not wanting to do this every week now

Teddy: Please, shortening his name like that isn’t going to magically make him look or act your age, but it WILL make me gag 🤢

Gia: And here was me hoping University might make you mature slightly…

Teddy: Hasn’t ‘girls mature faster than boys’ been your entire reason to live since before I was born?

Gia: I’ve never acted the way you do, even if I’d wanted to, I’d have never gotten away with it

Teddy: 💔 I’d suggest you try it but it’s rather too late now, unless you intend to take behaving as I would as far as forsaking your husband

Gia: As I said, I have literally no desire to throw a tantrum like that

Gia: Why are you?

Teddy: Why are you acting as if you suddenly care?

Gia: Assumedly, that’s what you were after, attention

Teddy: Incorrect, but it’s always the goal to make everyone suffer as I must

Gia: Precisely

Gia: If you didn’t want the parents to have to have hushed conversations about you, you would do as the rest of us do and keep it to yourself

Teddy: Well, if they won’t have full volume conversations about each other & address the real issues

Gia: Is that why you’re sad, mummy and daddy are fighting again?

Teddy: No, but I am cheered by your slight attempt at humour

Gia: If mocking you can be considered a joke, I suppose

Gia: Could you not find an excuse to absent yourself if you were going to be in such a mood though, it isn’t as if James attends, you don’t have to

Teddy: It’s extremely laughable you think you have any grounds to mock me, yes

Teddy: & that you would dare to comment on my mood given your spouse’s inability to do anything with his face but 😒

Gia: He’s only like that around you, actually

Gia: and who could blame him?

Teddy: I’m doing him a favour, his brats are going to be my age soon, it’s best he practises because he can’t exactly leave the supportive parenting to you

Gia: I’m not your mother, I don’t need to handhold you through your hangover/heartbreak to prove that I’m a capable parent

Teddy: You’re nobody’s mother, Gia & LONG may that continue to be the case, truly 🙏

Gia: If I had such news, I would have cut through your nonsense with it

Teddy: Such a pity he’s incapable of delivering it for you, in any sense

Gia: Do you have to be so disgusting?

Teddy: You married him, that’s disgusting

Gia: No one asked your opinion, how you feel about him is irrelevant

Teddy: & yet here you are defending yourself against my opinion, it’s obviously relevant to you if you feel the need

Gia: You defend your partner, that’s pretty standard

Teddy: When he’s so frail, of course

Gia: So instead of finding yourself a job, you’re spending your time working on your stand-up, are you?

Teddy: Oh I’m sorry, do you have news of our father going bankrupt? I would’ve given you the floor

Gia: Exactly, I was doing work experience with the firm and had my own part-time job during Uni

Teddy: But you still never got the attention you were after, did you? 🥺

Gia: I don’t want attention, I want, and have, a career

Gia: What do you want, Teddy?

Teddy: Currently, I would like you to stop boring me to tears

Gia: For God’s sake, grow up

Teddy: Like you have? No thanks

Gia: Do you want to be a joke, like James?

Teddy: You’re a joke too, don’t exempt yourself

Gia: Except I work hard for what I have, don’t sponge off of mum and dad and I also don’t embarrass them, at every opportunity I have, so, no, I’m not

Teddy: You married into what you have & mother is mortified

Gia: She is not

Teddy: She is

Gia: You’re just saying that

Teddy: She says it, drunk words are the truest, G

Gia: Perhaps she ought to lay off the liquor then

Teddy: Perhaps if she’d married better herself she would

Gia: I fail to see how she could, and this is such a tired, irrelevant fantasy of yours anyway, they’re fine

Teddy: I’m not going to open up about my newer fantasies, especially not to you

Gia: I will never, ever ask you to

Teddy: Go away, you’re making me more upset

Gia: What on earth is wrong with you? You’re behaving more strangely than usual

Teddy: You literally just said you’d never, ever ask

Gia: As a rule, don’t bring your girl trouble to the table if you wouldn’t actually bring the girl

Teddy: I would, but she’d reject the invitation

Gia: 💔

Teddy: Thank you for your incredible contribution

Gia: You’re not serious, you aren’t serious about anything

Gia: you’ll be fine in the morning

Teddy: It would serve you right if I was dead in the morning, but I’m not pathetic, at least

Gia: You are SO dramatic

Teddy: I have intense feelings about her, you’re dismissive about anything which doesn’t involve your husband’s life insurance

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 2 years

Text

5 Jan u ary 2023 Thursday jueves 6:27 am pdt part 2

6:28 am pdt

my youngest sister when 1 or 2 years old runs into glass shelf corner of display tower? In clothing store 🏬 (I’m almost 2.5 years older)

Her oldest son around same age (1 or 2 years old) was holding onto dog 🐕 and dog stopped 🛑 abruptly and he ran/stumbled into the probably brick 🧱 wall (under a window 🪟?) was New York.

Her 2nd child 👶 also a boy, now more than a year old, born during COVID, recently dropped cell phone 📱 on floor, with my face on face time and stomped on the cellphone 📱. The Then away from the cell phone I think 🤔 he started crying 😭 I asked what happened, and my sister said he smacked his face/head into the floor. Seemed hard and rough to me. Demonic possession and generational curses.

I had a crush 😻 on a boy when I was in kindergarten and bcz I didn’t know what to say I pushed him when we were on the soft grassy field. Might have gotten the wrong idea from the devil 👿, maybe through him and bongo the bear cartoon movie 🎥 say love 💕 with a slap 👋. He didn’t cry or seem hurt but he said he was going to tell on me.

3rd grade year? After 9th birthday party 🥳, I say something I didn’t plan to to my crush 😻 and I’m too surprised at what I say. Didn’t seem to come from me - the devil 👿 possessed my mouth 👄/voice. 6:48 am pdt. He gets mad at me and pushed me when I was on Barbie roller skates 🛼. I landed 🛬 on my wrist and it broke went to doctor 👨‍⚕️ and got a cast on it.

When I’m around 11/12 years old mom’s first car got hit and the car spun. I got whiplash and my mom got a goose egg 🥚 bump on her head. Also around 11/12/13? (Years old, 7:04 pm pdt 6 January, thought 💭 I remembered wearing a skiort and maybe white t-shirt I got middle school years w/ embroidery? Scallops detail on u-neckline (7:07 pm pdt #3 😖)) Tried to learn how to ride bicycle 🚴🏼 without training wheels and I flew over the 🚴🏼 bike’s handle bars and land like an airplane ✈️ on the sidewalk? On my shoulders. I almost hit my head first but I pulled up my head enough to not.

got mad 😡 at youngest sister when should not have for doll’s neck breaking and raised thin cardboard Barbie doll box 📦 to hit her on top of the head. She started crying 😭 before the box touched her head. I t was soon after separation of parents. Don’t recall any prior time of hitting her, especially the head. Was probably stilll 8 years old.

before 4th grade photos/picture day fell from tallest bar in school 🏫 playground across the street from shirleys house 🏠

6:58 am pdt I have a lot to recall and might need to edit. Tired 😓 😴 6:59 am pdt

8:06 pm pdt 8:07 pm pdt they’ve been burning my skull 💀. I believe they are trying to make my skull weak so they can easily crush my head. Incubus + company. 8:08 pm pdt

6 January 2023 Friday 2:06 pm pdt

my mom put her hand on my forehead and it was too hot! 🤬😱😭 incubus + company leave my mom alone! She’s my only person! Leave her alone! You don’t own us! You are fiends! Demonic! My mom work so hard and has been through a lot in her life! She could have married young and to a richer man but she didn’t whether she knew it or not (she said she didn’t know he was rich until after his shot gun marriage to his ex-gf) she went to school! She had a hard life you’ve done too much to her! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!!! You’re all the worse creatures in the UNIVERSE!!!! You already put her through brain surgery!!!!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!! JERKS YOU ALL ARE!!!!! 2:15 pm pdt incubus is the cause of all illness/disease/ailments. 2:17 pm pdt

5:12 pm pdt several (s eve r al/ eve r y ...) minutes ago felt pain in skull behind left ear. Found a big dip forming. Found the black pen I’ve been using in the corner of blue Spanish dictionary and I opened it to the page. Bottom of page 137 where the pen was is the word “drilling.”

5:17 pm pdt incubus/demon lord and people similar to them who are probably in covenant with them, they probably DON’T feel and don’t think and don’t believe the same way and things that a lot of us have been brought up to believe. They form no attachments to anyone. They will easily double cross anyone and then spin it around and say you double crossed them, even though they with hold live from you in all sorts of ways, such as withholding direct communication, using triangulation through signs. If he wants to have s*x/be promiscuous with a lot of other women - and the law is in California as far as I know it’s a one-to-one deal on marriage and there are other more formal contracts in addition to that for adoption/surrogacy probably/artificial insemination, Et cetera - then why we would have any reason to believe that s*xual intercourse/kisses/embraces/caressing/painting a picture with my hands 🎶🎼🎵🎤🎸 would be promise of anything at all, including marriage vows bcz peopjane hermanle annull/divorce/break up. Incubus has demonstrated a kiss is only a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh 🎸🎵🎼🎶🎤 it doesn’t mean anything to him. He’s got his hands, tongue, lips 💋👄💄😋👅🖕✋🤚and 🍆p*nis in many women. Jane Herman (something in the song this love probably fingering) Rebecca ginos - 1st night they met, Anne V (Russian vogue magazine and heard something that another source said he talked about the contraception? Methods? (Don’t know - pulling out??) (stomach gurgled 😞😖), Candace Bailey in goodnight goodnight there was real tongue 👅 kissing 💋 in that! They rolled around under sheets almost naked and with the hints that they took off each other’s underwear 🩲 it looks it frankly that they aren’t trying to hide it! 5:39 pm pdt now she’s married to someone else??? It doesn’t matter to him. He will double cross if he wants to. 5:40 pm pdt no attachments. He is a whore with no love 💗 in his heart. 5:40 pm pdt. Don’t be fooled. 😞😖😭😤🥵😤🥵 it doesn’t matter how attractive you are they will ALWAYS cheat. 5:42 pm pdt.

They are animals who believe in their superiority even though there are twins 👯‍♂️ and doppelgängers. Sam Clemens/mark twin prince 🤴 and the pauper. Did life imitate art or art 🖼 imitate LIFE!? 5:43 pm pdt. They rely on trickery which involves complex ? Psychology???? They are not capable of real love friendship intimacy??? That’s why incubus comes to rape while sleeping 🛌 putting her in a trance like state??? Like a puppet!!😖😞😫😤🥵😤🥵😤😭 5:47 pm pdt

6:13 pm pdt

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6:15 pm pdt

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6:18 pm pdt probably a “joke” about incubus:

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6:19 pm pdt

6:20 pm pdt caption said: No face no case 🌚

6:21 pm pdt

7:01 pm pdt auto-lock is still stuck on 30 seconds. I getting tired 😴 a lot today or pre-vertigo state. 7:02 pm pdt

8:11 pm pdt it feels like they roasted my heart ♥️ I felt heat/burning inside behind the I’m between breast area and felt my heart ♥️ feel stressed and starting breathing out HOT air. My dad air brush painted hot air balloons 🎈 when I was a baby 🍼. And I think I wore onesies with hot 🥵 air balloon and another with an elephant 🐘 with trunk down. I think Jesus Christ was conned. Cat fished probably by his own dad. Sounds like a bad dad who didn’t want to pay 💰 child support and did not want to be around for him and made him sleep in mangers and endure probably hard labor and hardships and pain and suffering. “Reckless [?] abandonment” Elle woods legally blonde 👱‍♀️. What does reckless mean??? 8:20 pm pdt. Other kids get to grow up with slaves and harems and armies to do the dirty stuff for them but they’re also brain 🧠 washed like Uriah trying to be a loyal good soldier not “sleeping” with bathsheba his wife because of the rules he thought 💭 he should abide by. Then the king 🤴 he was loyal to plotted to kill him. Seemed like his only punishment was to lose the kid that was born during his adulery. No whipping? No death 💀 sentence on him? Special? In what way? Did bathsheba have a choice? Did she want this powerful misbehaving king 🤴 for herself? Or was she intimidated by his power? 8:26 pm pdt. Don’t trust incubus he already demonstrated he don’t care for me even though he played games trying to get on my soft side only to bite me back with abuse destruction of my body to make it absurdly ugly/unattractive and almost burned 🔥 me alive and then publicly intentionally have those words revealed and used in opposite situations than can be misinterpreted and seen under a different light 💡 than what it really is intended for (heart pain 😖) to make him look like a good guy when he’s not. More warm air exhaled. He mislead me to distract me from what he really meant, distracted me with social issues and past educational lectures and probably false intentions to someday have a more egalitarian society that respects women’s rights and other people not based on color Et cetera. That I became oblivious that he was addressing my current situation and state. Ever since I was a kid 👧 I had to learn to keep going as best I can even with pain and ailments? Such as having a period, maybe ibs, chronic eczema, Et cetera and had to try to ignore my pain. That I get caught up 🆙 in ideas 💡 that were given to me through school 🏫 and life experiences. But now I’m questioning everything! Insults, injury. He LIKES 👍 that stuff but hides it SO WELL. Don’t give them an inch!!!!!!!!!!!! 8:39 pm pdt. They’ll mess with your mind, memory, body, feelings. If they don’t want you to have something they make you forget about it, they control the thoughts 💭 that go into your head, they make you fall in love 😻 immediately even though you should wait it out to get to know someone. Feelings! Even if things seem like they are on your side only bcz of “words” look 👀 at the actions, rely on that if your body looks absurd to them and they made it that way and they roast you to the point of pain and feels like you’re heart cannot take it anymore and your dying, pay attention to that and take it to mean that they don’t like you, but they need you so they have free time to f*ck. 👌🖕🙌 8:46 pm pdt

I typed a lot of stuff but the post didn’t save the update. They roasted my head. When I was typing 💬 it. A lot of important stuff. I think they have sacrificial lamb 🐑 bcz of above and they want a “manageable” number of people to control. 11 pm

3:39 am pdt 7 Jan u ary 2023 Saturday

The boney 🦴 area between my breasts have become bumpy like I can feel the individual ribs. I don’t remember if it was like that last week. It’s been very hot for weeks in that spot. I think he’s reducing this spot so that it easily breaks. There was an article I read about Adam Levine having an accident with gym equipment? And he did something stupid with it that made it like a sling shot that hit him I think I’m that spot and it broke and he had to go to the emergency room 🚨. He said that they fixed it, probably put a clip on it to hold it together? The rib cage meeting in the center? He said it was like a harbinger. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what that means. 😰 but I fear for my life. Incubus is doing everything at once to me to keep me guessing how he’s going to kill me. Hospitals 🏥 won’t help me with anything. They all hurt me. It’s best not to talk about it bcz I don’t know if talking about it enables them to take the memory away? Or if you’ve already been talking a lot all your life that it doesn’t matter? But when I review things it seems that they have controlled me all my life anyway. They controlled my nephew very well making him drop my sister’s cell phone on the ground and stomp on it when my face was on FaceTime and then they made him fall on his face and probably hurt his forehead a lot because he’s only started learning to talk. Born during COVID. I think 🤔 his first birthday 🎂 passed. 3:50 am pdt yeah life sucks. 3:51 am pdt

3:53 am pdt i was trying to type “in that spot” NOT “I’m that spot” I don’t know if that hand tattoo is near that spot or a different tattoo, but I really don’t believe that the incubus loves 💕 me. Gypsy hand ✋ was it? Gyping Eve. I’m a sacrificial lamb 🐑, my moms name has “Abel “ in it and I’m born in the sun 🌞 sign 🪧 Aries ♈️. My dads first name looks almost like Jewish for “son of.” 3:57 am pdt It’s meant to be that I have a rough life and be sacrificed. God is a con artist 👩🏽‍🎨. 3:58 am pdt he likes Caesar more. 3:59 am pdt

6:49 pm pdt I’m starting to wonder 💭 if a lot of pictures I saw 👀 since 2017 are photoshopped. And theater (between breasts is hot 🥵 again 😖😖 heart ♥️ pain and diarrhea 😖pain) that other people don’t see the pictures I originally saw online up until this month. It didn’t occur to me until now that all those pictures were photoshopped in that way. I believe it was made to mislead me into thinking 🤔 behati and Adam’s marriage was a lie. It was an on/off thing for me to see the pictures, juggling 🤹‍♀️ one idea 💡 to the other of what was going on with them. They kept me guessing the whole time and why I didn’t realize until now that that was a lie, too 😞. Nothing else makes sense now. I think they have been toying 🧸 with my memory too to make this possible. She really looks like she is into him. She looks like she likes touching him and they are all over each.

incubus mislead me intentionally with signs. I believe I have to believe an old tweet 🐣 of his that everything that is from him is bullsh*t x3. I cannot believe he would stoop so low to tell me we are married with children 👶 (7:22 pm pdt BUT it look 👀 now as if he meant it as a joke.. a joke that I am his real wife.. bcz my body IS absurd NOW bcz of them... & They have been boiling 🥵 me for years now.. it is unreal how HOT 🥵 they’ve made me that I smell 👃 like cooked meat 🥩 teriyaki crosses my mind bcz yaki =cook. Yak =ox. Ki=tree/sounds like key 🔑 🚗. Teri = tearing up 🆙 my heart ❤️ when I’m with you but when we are apart.. 7:27 pm pdt) When it’s signs 🪧 but not actual explanations he leaves 🍃 a lot of wiggle room for misinterpretation and he knows this and uses it to his advantage to lie. And then he spins it around to blame us when we misinterpreted what he meant - which actually ironically is what he wants us to (head pain 😖) believe but we don’t realize at the time bcz (7:32 pm pdt: that) the signs 🪧 can simultaneously mean something else Bcz they are signs 🪧 (symbols). 7:05 pm pdt I never 👎 told anyone that I had their children 👶 /never told anyone I was pregnant 🤰 with their children 👶 and I don’t believe I ever was pregnant 🤰, although there were 2 times in my life I skipped periods - once when I was 16 years old when I was a virgin and another time when I was still with my first real boyfriend when I was 20? (We broke up 2005, were together since ≈April/May 2004, lasted ≈1+ years, we had 2 summers together I recall I used to think in my mind but now I cannot remember how I remembered that there were 2 summers. We had one anniversary, & he was around for my sister’s graduation 👩‍🎓 in 2005. I had started a semester of fashion classes to see if it was what I wanted to do and he broke up with me after classes started.) And I was unhappy and thinking about breaking up with him but I didn’t know how I should approach him about it so I chickened out, but one day I let myself show him that I was upset 😭 the whole day and called him and left voicemails of myself crying and hanging up 🆙 and he took it as a cue that it was time to break up 🆙. God plans ahead. (Inside left ankle pain 😖) I think it is really unfair to lie to me like that - So I don’t think they can justify it saying it is “karma” to lie to me about it. 7:19 pm pdt 7:27 pm pdt ⬆️ 7:32 pm pdt why is it difficult to write ✍️ this correctly?? 😞 ⬆️)

7:37 pm pdt he was not a bad boyfriend, mostly he was kind. He said a few things here and there but I guess I forgive him. He fed me a lot. And at the beginning of our relationship I was given a very nice gently used futon couch 🛋 from my mom’s best friend and I gave it to him. I think 🤔 I don’t recall asking for money 💰 and I don’t recall him giving monEy 💰 for it. I don’t think I realized how much it was worth at the time. But he took me out a lot before that I think only to hang out as friends and gave me rides home 🏠. And he coincidentally was thinking of getting a new bed 🛌. 7:43 pm pdt and he took me out a lot after that. I didn’t realize until now that this was probably a deposit 💵 on our relationship (probably by god). ??? 7:45 pm pdt

8:24 pm pdt I think 🤔 I lost my virginity to my first real boyfriend when I was 19 years old. I think 🤔 I remember we always used a condom. He is kinda silly sometimes and sometimes he is serious 🧐. The s*x unfortunately was usually not satisfactory. I think 🤔 I can only recall it being satisfactory ONCE ☝️. He I think was an inch too short for me at the time. His previous girlfriend was probably a little shorter than me. I usually didn’t complain and would try again hoping next time it would do it for me. 8:30 pm pdt. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if he realized that usually I don’t climax but there was one ☝️ time I thought I was on the way to climaxing and then it stopped?? I forget what happEnd exactly but I remember saying to him alluding? To that I liked that one position and to try it again and he said something that I think 🤔 alluded? To him understanding that or maybe he can tell that I haven’t been climaxing and that one moment was different and closer to climaxing. For some reason I thought that somehow he figured it out. 8:36 pm pdt and he wanted to try it again, too. 8:37 pm pdt 8:39 pm pdt he did it again messed with the time it looks like it skipped or he did something to me 8 pain gum scratch via incubus 8:40 pm pdt I already begged him so I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ why he would put it more infront of my face. What good is trying aga??? They made fun of me when I begged this summer. 8:42 pm pdt I guess it’s going to be a rough end for me that it’s going to make me beg again 8:43 pm pdt

I have probably only Had 2 ☝️🖕satisfying s*x experiences... and I tried a lot with the first, and a lot with the 4th guy. And that’s including the experience mentioned above ⬆️. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ why I tried so many times thinking that it might be satisfying again... I know now they were both too short.. sorry 😓. 8:49 pm pdt. Sagittarius ♐️ incubus friend Was HUGE yet somehow there was no pleasure. Maybe 🤔 bcz I really didn’t want to, even my vag didn’t let him in with condom on and with expecting him to try. He got in when I was not expecting him to try bcz he asked if he can without the condom and I did not reply. Maybe he wadis it too fast? Maybe somehow my not wanting to somehow deactivated my pleasure sensors??? It was almost as though I were numb but I felt him moving in and out. 8:54 pm pdt. Big ≠ guarantee pleasure. In this case. 8:55 pm pdt it feels like he was only concerned with how he felt bcz of how fast he was going and i was cornered bcz he did Not respect my first “NO” type of answer. 9 Pm pdt and he didn’t respect me more for doing that without waiting for me to respond, and even further when I yelled out while he pumpEd in/out of me, “I don’t think we should be doing this!” 9:03 pm pdt

11:25 pm pdt to further clarify about the breakup with the first real boyfriend (my head is too hot 🥵) I was most likely upset that I couldn’t feel what I thought I needed to feel to make the relationship last long. I guess it was not meant to be. We were both half Asian half white, around the same age, (same high school) 🏫 same grade (didn’t hang out until college) , both lived with our mothers, and grew up with a sister. 11:32 pm pdt

11:33 pm pdt I feel very concerned that I’m only being treated as god’s piggy bank 🏦 for bone materials. 😥😤🥵😤🥵😳🥵😖😭 and have been put through a lot to keep me mostly single and at home most of the time, through: manipulating my feelings, thoughts 💭, (stomach gurgle 😖😭🐒💨 11:37 pm pdt), actions/voice, bodily functions, pain/trauma/injuries/diseases/illnesses, money 💰 situation, family, other people, Et cetera. I was shy 🙈 since probably forever: kindergarten I hung up my raincoat and hid behind it. Sometimes I would make a bad decision based on current emotions and beliefs. When my sister was born I was jealous and insecure 😞 (I m Aries ♈️ she’s ♌️ Leo ≈2.5 years apart in age. I got a 🪣 bucket put my favorite toys 🧸 in it, put on a 🧢 hat, frowned and showed them I was thinking of running away (illogically irrationally). I think we played nice for the most part: we played barbies and Nintendo most of the time together or watched tv 📺 or movies. In the car 🚗 we listened to music 🎶 and sometimes sung or played board games that were made for car trips. (11:48 pm pdt tummyaches 😖😭 diarrhea feeling. I don’t remember if I ate solids today. 11:49 pm pdt).

11:56 pm pdt incubus is the greatest source of cruelty. He has the resources to deceive effectively. I ddon’t trust him. He gives me too much diarrhea for no good reason. I think I’m becoming weaker. He seems to have this goal 🥅. He has all sorts of stories on the internet but I’m afraid it’s probably all lies/a cover up 🆙. The Jesus Christ story to calm the nerves of those he abused - designated sacrificial lambs /rams 🐑 . 12:02 am pdt I just don’t believe he had motivations to save anybody he has hurt. Like a rapist trying to hide his crimes with murder. 12:04 am pdt

12:20 am put I’m afraid that at the center of every man 👨 no matter what is greed and viscous ness and cruelty.

visciousness 12:22 am pdt

especially in Adam Noah Levine bcz he’s not afraid of doing cruel things to me all the while misleading me.. 12:25 am pdt. Even though my name translates to shavah/ I was trying to type chavah ... using Greek letters for the v-> nu, it is also might be the secret name of Jesus Christ which is a manipulative controlled to take advantage of people who are willing to work harder with more disadvantages. He hurts my heart and my whole body and makes me anxious with everything he does to

me and makes my family Do to me

12:32 am pdt only his own amusement matters to him 12:33 am pdt

I will forever be afraid 😱 of that man 12:34 am pdt

1:15 am pdt men have no problem killing off life, they do it everyday. 1:16 1:17 am pdt sacrifice and pleasure go hand in hand 🤚 for them. $-‘d <-what’s that????? hand 🤚 🍆💦☃️ 1:19 am pdt. is it sane for a woman to want a monogamous relationship with such creatures?? I’m starting to think NOT. 1:21 am pdt don’t know what’s right or necessary or true. 1:22 am pdt I’m so lost now. Is jealousy an illusion and if not what purpose does it serve???? To show you care? Is it natures way of keeeping us in relationships? Is it something only a woman feels if men easily detach and find more women to have s*x with? If he does is he worth keeping??? When does the relationship exist?? Is there nothing special about being human??? If a man chooses to leave fine let him. Know that he will never be anything to you other than a special donor. 1:29 am pdt sweet nothings, we should know by now that it means No commitment. 1:30 am pdt and that’s all we will ever get. And I don’t want it anymore Bcz he scares me. And he kills me. There are parts I thought I had bones 🦴 and I don’t think I have bones there anymore. ☃️😭😭😭😭 1:33 am pdt

1/36 am pdt look at the size of his head compared to behati . That’s a lot of brains 🧠 to think of any weird scheme to get his way which is filled with greed. Viciousness. 1:37 am pdt

#Instagram

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