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everlastingdreams · 1 year

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Weeping Monk x Reader : The Patience Of A Heart Chapter 24

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Story Summary: After fire claimed the lives of your family, the monastery of your Uncle Carden becomes your new home. As the niece of a priest you are expected to behave prim and proper, but not even the watchful eyes of the Weeping Monk can see all. An ancient magic returns to life when love and duty begin to blur.

Chapter Title: The Ashen Legacy

Notes: Switching back and forth between proofreading this one and writing something else lol.

Warnings: There’s a list of warnings for this story: Murder. Violence. Death. Angst. Sexism. Strong Language. Trauma. Childhood trauma. Survivor’s guilt. Mentions of child maltreatment. Threat of Sexual assault. PTSD. Misogyny, Self-flagellation. Gore.

Other warnings: Jealousy. Forbidden Love. Romance. Pining. Smut. Spicy content. Little Slow-burn.

Word count of this fic: +130K

Chapter: 24 / 27

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What started as a sunny calm day, was overturned by the news that had reached to your ears.

By the time you had arrived in the hallway of the dining hall, Lancelot arrived there as well.

The Faun Woman who taught the children how to read was standing beside Neia and Percival.

Neia had her head tilted down, eyes never leaving the floor until she saw you and Lancelot.

She looked like she was expecting a scolding soon…

But it was Percival who drew most of the attention, he looked very ticked off.

There had been trouble during the lesson, but what sort?

The Faun Woman named ‘Amelyn’ informed Lancelot of the problem “Percival fought with another child and Neia helped him.”

What?!? You couldn’t believe your ears.

The Ash Man was only mildly surprised “May I have a moment to speak to them?”

Amelyn approved and stepped away to give them some space.

He aimed the question at both children “What happened?”

Not a word came out of them…

You sounded somewhat stern “Neia?”

The slight shift in tone was enough to make her look at you with big worried eyes “I’m sorry!”

The child looked one second away from either crying or fleeing…

Lancelot knelt down and consoled her “No one will hurt you. We only wish to know what happened. Tell me?”

The children shared a look and Percival shrugged his shoulders at her.

It prompted Neia to speak the truth “I was sitting down and listening to the story Miss Amelyn was telling us, but then a boy pulled at my hair and took one of the flowers out.”

You had thought the messy hair was from the fight.

The Ash Man looked at Percival for the rest of the information and got an eye-roll instead “Percival, you saw this happen?”

Percival had no remorse over his response “I pushed him away from her, he was the one that started it!”

You saw Lancelot look down to the floor briefly so the children would not see how proud he looked of them. And you prayed he would keep it together until the matter was discussed.

He looked at the girl “Neia?”

Neia sheepishly admitted “He was trying to hurt Percival too, so I jumped on his back to pull that boy away from him.”

So there was fight in the girl after all.

The curiosity took hold on him “Did you hurt that boy?”

Percival was quick to answer that one “Yup.” with the most proud expression he’d ever seen on a child.

Who was he to say that violence was not the right way… the boy would surely think him a jester.

But, these were still children and it should not become the norm.

You went over to Miss Amelyn “Did you know that the other boy was bothering Neia?”

Of course the woman could not have her eyes everywhere, but the boy in question was nowhere to be seen.

Miss Amelyn had clearly not been aware of this, which came as no surprise because the children had refused to break their silence until now.

“No, I did not.” She turned to Neia and asked “Neia, will you come with me to point out who was bothering you?”

The girl wished to refuse, but saw the encouraging looks aimed at her “Yes…”

Miss Amelyn took Neia by the hand and led her into the dinning hall.

This had not been an act of unprovoked violence after all.

Percival was stopped from following them by Lancelot.

The Ash Man said “I know why you have done it, I understand. I do hope this will not occur frequently?”

The boy chewed his words before answering “It won’t.” then quieter “If they leave her alone.”

For keeping the peace, he ignored that last mumbled statement coming from the boy.

With some wise words he steered the boy back towards the dinning hall and opened the door for him “We have enough battles to fight, let’s not add more.”

When Lancelot let Percival in, both of you could see a boy getting a rather fierce scolding from Miss Amelyn.

At least she cared about the truth and with a heart at peace you could leave them to their lessons again.

Lancelot shut the door again.

“Percival is taking his duty as a knight serious.” You commented.

He hummed with a slight smirk “A knight of the Fey, but one girl has most of his attention it seems.”

That was true, you couldn’t hide your own smirk “She fought alongside him.”

He jested about it “Do you think she is old enough to learn how to wield a sword too?”

It was partly a genuine question. At what age was it appropriate? He was taught at a very early age…

You blinked a few times “She just jumped on a boy’s back and you’re willing to hand her a sword?”

The laugh he tried to swallow came out anyway, he dared to joke “I handed you one.”

You pulled a face at him, then said “We should get wooden swords made. Before our children all end up losing limbs.”

He thought about it “A good idea. They can learn while playing with them?”

It would be much safer, if the swords had no sharp edges at least.

“That way, they won’t feel pressured.” You agreed.

Lancelot reminded you of what he had asked yesterday “Are you still willing to join me in the forest tonight?”

You hadn’t forgotten “Of course. Should I bring some buckets of water?”

The jest had him rolling his eyes “So little faith in me?”

You weren’t going to take it back “Just making sure.”

He stroked along the back of your arm “It will not be necessary.”

His eyes swiftly darted between yours and your mouth and it was enough to send a shiver over your skin.

~“Lancelot!”~

The cheery voice of Arthur stole away the moment between you.

With a sigh, Lancelot acknowledged it “Yes?”

Arthur beckoned for him “Gawain is asking for you.”

The Ash Man tried to keep the disappointment out of his tone “Very well.” he turned to you “I will see you tonight.”

You nodded in confirmation and watched him go over to Arthur and they both walked off together.

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Darkness began to fall over the city and Lancelot preferred to only take Goliath and you along. No one knew how Llamrai would react to seeing Fey Fire, it was safer to leave her at the stables.

Together you rode on Goliath into the forest at a snail pace.

A long silence had preceded his question “I have thought about speaking to Percival and Gawain about our plan to wed.”

There was the reason why he had been pretty quiet now “You’re asking me for approval?”

He leaned in close, head almost touching your shoulder “Yes.”

When you took a moment to think about it, you could just feel the anxiousness radiate from him.

You freed him from it by answering “That’s fine. I’m nervous.”

He felt some relief when hearing he was not alone to feel like this “So am I. You are aware that Feys wed in a different manner than Manbloods?”

The tales were known about this different kind of wedding “I am.”

Lancelot asked your opinion on the matter “Is that what you want?”

You were far from opposed to it “It always sounded lovely to hear the stories of these joinings. Where I grew up, the people were not so afraid to speak about the Fey.”

Tonight he was surprisingly open on the subject “If at any time you change your mind about us being wed, I will understand. I only ask that you will not be afraid to tell me.”

You felt his steady breaths pass by your cheek “I have no intention on changing my mind. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

A wandering hand glided over your stomach “I have been since the day you came to the monastery.”

You rolled your eyes when he could not see.

And did he really think you did not notice how he had moved your cloak aside just so he could sneak his hand under?

Prying his fingers off your stomach proved futile and the twit actually dared to tickle you.

The thin leather vest you wore did little to shield you from it.

In a last attempt to ‘escape’ you leaned forward to protect your stomach from him.

Quick as a whip, his hand moved to slowly stroke from your shoulder blades down your spine.

It was the very quiet hum, that sounded as if it had come from deep within his chest, that made your heart roll around in your chest.

It had sounded appreciative…

Slowly you sat upright again, the wit had abandoned you.

And he seemed aware of the shift in atmosphere too, his eyes were aimed at the trees ahead.

You really did try not to mention it, but… “Someone is acting a little lascivious tonight.”

His voice had dropped into a husk “I enjoyed your company last night.”

That had been quite obvious.

“And you are hoping to repeat it?” You guessed with a grin.

It was an open invitation “My door will be open, in case you are still not feeling well.”

Oh. What a very kind, and not at all ambiguous, offer.

In return, you gave him an equal answer “I will remember it is so.”

He could not help but love how disinterested you pretended to be, leaving him to speculate whether or not you would join him tonight.

Lancelot pushed aside a low branch before it could cause you or him harm. The branch obeyed and flowers began to grow from it after the contact.

This forest reacted to the Fey in the most peculiar ways.

The next branch was yours to touch and to your disappointment it gave no response.

He noticed it “What is wrong?”

It felt silly to admit “This forest doesn’t react to me. I guess the mark does not mean that there is magic present in me.”

He was more positive “Or the magic in you has yet to see the light.”

With that said, he took the arm that bore the mark and bared it, then held it out to the side and waited.

Nothing happened until his thumb began to tease the mark and lure it to the surface in it’s silver glow.

His words were like silk near your ear “My magic is in you. If the Moon Wing could sense it, this forest can too.”

The little hope and expectation faded when nothing happened.

But he was patient and that patience paid off.

A very small bird landed on your hand and it nearly gave you a fright.

Lancelot had held your hand still and therefore the bird remained where it was seated.

It looked like a hummingbird, but it’s colors were different, incredibly vibrant.

Purple feathers blended with blue ones, a deep red on the crown of it’s head.

The ends of it’s wings were luminous, like magic lived in them.

Once overcome the initial reaction, you looked at the bird in awe.

It was so tiny…

With it’s beak it pinched at your palm and then it hopped further onto your arm, the bird looked quite curious toward the glowing mark.

Lancelot whispered “You may not be Fey, but as long as I may live I will share what I can with you.”

The tiny toes of the bird were tickling your arm as it hopped around.

Under the moon and stars with your lover and chosen as the place where this beautiful bird took a moment to rest, it was enough to make anyone a little emotional.

Being introduced to his world meant the world to you.

The tiny bird spread it’s wings and fluttered away.

Slowly he let go off your arm and the mark dimmed it’s glow.

The silence coming from you was unusual…

You turned your head just enough to press your lips ardently to his cheek, two counts passed and the whisper fell “I love you.”

If anything could melt a frozen heart, it was the look in your eyes and the declaration that came with it.

Goliath stopped at the command of his rider.

He blessed the night for hiding some of that red hue his face undoubtedly had now “Enough to watch me play with magic that could burn a forest down?”

Your eyes rolled over him “Absolutely.”

Without warning he dismounted “Well then.”

He reached up, an offer to help you dismounted as well.

It was probably just a ruse to have his hands on you some more.

“So…how does this begin?” You gestured around.

He tied the reins to a tree and pointed at a bit of an open spot in the forest “I’ll make a fire. And I hope to transform it into Fey Fire that I can control.”

Now that it was time, he caught himself reconsidering on those buckets of water…

You walked a few steps and then sat down on the grass.

So much fidgeting, the poor Ash Man was visibly tense.

Anyone could see that he was nervous to practice his magic. For one who was quite skilled with making a fire, it took him longer than usual to light the small stack of branches.

Finally a spark touched the dry grass and flames grew from it.

Relief washed over him and away again “Every time I have used this power, it was linked to what I felt in that moment. I do not know if I can transform the flames when I am calm.”

To you, he didn’t look calm, but anxious “Take your time, Lancelot. I know you can do it.”

After pacing back and forth for a moment, he brought a hand closer to the flames.

The heat was felt, the fire could not burn him no matter how hard it tried.

Those flames under his palm brought forth the desire to take hold of them. To feel them dance in his palm and witness their destructive beauty.

Seeing the fire lick his skin but not burn him had your heart in your throat. The urge to run over and drag him away from it was strong and you had to fight it off.

By taking quick deep breaths, you hoped to calm the fear that took hold on you.

Lancelot had seen the change in you, and when he looked he saw a pair of concerned eyes watching him “It does not hurt me.”

It did little to make the pout on your face vanish.

The result of your experiences with nature’s element had burdened you with the fear.

Upon seeing that you remained concerned, he withdrew his hand and walked towards you to show his unscathed palm.

Your concern faded at the sight “I cannot help but worry, I’m sorry.”

He caressed your cheek “I chose the right woman to have as my wife.”

The statement was making you smile no matter how hard you fought it “Were there other options?”

Now that earned you a tap of his hand against your shoulder, he tsked “No.”

After taking a breath, you gave in “I need to let you do what is necessary to embrace your power. So, I offer my help when you need it.”

He jested “If I light this forest on fire, act like I was never here.”

You groaned at his foolery “Let’s see you make that Fey Fire first.”

With a little shove against his arm, you send him back to the task at hand.

He approached the fire and knelt down before it, both knees touching the grass below “I can do this…”

Those weeping eyes fell shut, his breathing slowed down. It almost looked as if he was praying and maybe he was.

To the old gods of the Fey, or the one he was taught to serve, it did not matter as long as it brought him the confidence he needed

You kept very quiet and watched the flames begin to act fickle, but the colors remained the same.

Upon seeing the effort without result, you got up and walked over to him “At the church, what did you think of when your powers came forth?”

His eyes opened and looked up to yours “I thought of you. I saw the flames engulf the church and feared the worst.”

The memory of that moment was one he wished to forget.

He continued to recall what had went through him “I swore to myself that I would meet my end if I stood aside and let it happen. I felt the power burn in me, then it burned in every flame I wished it for.”

He rubbed his palms together, a soothing gesture he often did when his mind ran off with him to darker places.

Quietly, you got closer and took a seat next to him “Once I was safe, it stopped did it not?”

Lancelot nodded, it was as if a storm had passed through him and left him feeling very strange “It did. I felt it fade into me again.”

You thought for a while and gave your opinion on it “Maybe…the key to control this, is thinking of something you care about?”

It silenced him.

Every time he was able to seize control of his magic it was when he thought of you…

When he marked you, the burning church…

Was the love he had for you the key?

And to believe the Church considered this magic evil while it was born from love…

The love between Festa and Moreii.

And now the love between you and him.

It gave him new hope “I believe it to be possible.”

The Ash Man was beginning to see the pieces of the puzzle more clearly.

You placed your hand to his arm “Instead of giving yourself a headache thinking of the fire, think of something nice. Something that motivates you, that calms you and just brings you joy. I think you will find your power in your own happiness, Lancelot.”

He took hold of your hand and brought your wrist up to brush his lips against it, the bangle still sat safely in place.

Your hand was released by him again.

There was more confidence in him now and a fresh spurge of determination “It is time to return what was stolen from the Fey so long ago.”

You pointed out “It has already returned.”

At first he frowned, until realization hit him and it caused a smile.

He had to snap his attention away from you to concentrate again.

This time he didn’t close his eyes and watched the flames dance in the wind.

Quietly you reminiscent about your journey together “When you came to fetch me when I was returning late from the village…I never forgot how nice it felt to have someone care.”

He offered you one of his own fond memories “You were the first person I remember that told me they did not wish to see me hurt.”

A look was shared and the flames began to transform seconds later, it wasn’t long before there was only Fey Fire present.

The Ash Man reached out and brought his hand into the flames, the green leafed Fey markings crawled to the surface of his skin, the tears beneath his eyes turned a burning green again.

This power, he could feel it try to claw it’s way out and preventing it was almost painful.

What if he surrendered to it?

Better now than during an inconvenient time…

He rose to his feet and stopped inches from the fire, it reached for him like a child would reach for their parents…

“Stay where you are.” He made the request to you.

You stayed seated and watched him take the steps to learn to control this magic.

Slowly he reached for the fire again and moved his arm to the side, the flames followed the unspoken command and spread where he motioned to.

Even slower, he lifted his hand and watched the flames rise to meet it.

The longer he practiced to control it, the more the green beneath his eyes changed until it had turned into a red one would only seen in the deepest fire.

His powers were freed, he was one with the flames.

The fire reflected in his eyes, similar to the moon on the dark sea.

You’d never seen the marks on his face turn red before and it was a wonder to behold.

And what was even more amazing to see was how enthralled he was with what he was doing.

Like a child who was given the toy their heart had desired.

There was no fear in him now, only wonderment.

Your mouth had curved into a soft smile “Imagine if Percival saw this.”

He let some flames flutter like butterflies through the night sky “Do you think he will be frightened?”

Some of these fire born butterflies flew around you “Frightened? No. That boy would make you do it every second of the day. And so would Neia. Heaven, even I could watch it happen forever.”

He turned his head to look at you and saw the green specks of fire flutter around you.

You wished you had more eyes so you could keep looking at all of them “It’s beautiful, Lancelot.”

The Ash Man got closer and by the time he knelt next to you, the Fey Fire had created a circle just for the two of you.

You brushed a stray lock from his face and touched your thumb to the red that burned in his markings “I am so proud of you. Look how far you’ve come. You are what the Fey lost, not just your magic, but the man that you are. Having you here brings hope.”

If the rare Ash Folk could return after so long, there was hope for other things to return as well.

He leaned into the tender touch “I pray that I can help my people, I owe it to them.”

From an enemy to an ally, the Ash Man had given up the life he knew to follow what his heart believed was right.

Of course you were proud “I have faith in you. Magic or no magic, I know the Fey have gained a good man. Someone who won’t give up on them.”

The way he brought his hand to the back of your scalp to massage the place felt heavenly.

The pampering didn’t stop when he saw how much you enjoyed it “Let us return home.”

Before you could even object, the green flames were extinguished and with that the red from his marks too.

A disappointed noise slipped from your mouth.

Hearing it made him chuckle “Come on. Up.”

After being helped to your feet you looked around yourself and missed the green sparks that had flown through the air “Can you do that again when we’re together at night?”

You held your index finger up and gestured comically.

For a second he considered pretending not to understand what you were speaking off…

He asked for clarification “Just before we sleep, you mean?”

Thankfully, he understood you “Yes.”

Lancelot slowly started walking “I promise I will do so if I can do it without setting the room we are in on fire.”

You followed him towards Goliath “Preferably. Escaping one burning place was enough.”

Should he have thought the jest through more?

“Forgive me. I should not make light of-” He started.

“It’s alright. You’ve said nothing wrong.” You assured.

He was visibly relieved and offered to help you mount Goliath.

Of course you could get on without help, but then he wouldn’t have his hands on you again.

The ride back was peaceful, he was noticeably happy with the results reached tonight.

Upon return at the fortress, Lancelot was met with a very grumpy looking young Fey boy.

Percival stood with his arms crossed in the middle of the hall where your rooms were located “Where did you go?”

The question was mainly aimed at the Ash Man who had not informed the boy of this late excursion.

If he told the boy the truth, he was in for trouble…

This child would not like to hear that he was practicing magic in the forest without him, even if it was for safety measurements.

When it was clear that you weren’t in any trouble, you stepped away from them slowly and moved towards your room.

Lancelot knew right away that you were leaving him to undergo the wrath of the boy and send you a look.

You send him a cheeky look back, opened your door and successfully withdrew yourself from the confrontation.

The magic fire would have to wait for another night.

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That morning, you were awoken by the sound of Percival’s shocked voice.

You sat up in bed right away and listened for another sound.

~“WHAT?!?”~

There was a hushed voice, that undoubtedly belonged to Lancelot, answering the inquiry.

~“YOU WHAT?!?”~

Whatever he was telling the boy, it was giving him quiet an attitude in return.

Another hushed reply came and not even when you leaned against the wall could you hear what the Ash Man said to the boy.

Percival’s voice reached a higher pitch.

~“MARRY?!?”~

That was your cue to jump out of bed and start dressing before you’d be interrogated as well.

Never had you put on a pair of trousers and a shirt so fast before, you snatched the sleeveless long leather vest from where you had tossed it aside the night before.

~“What else is there ?!?”~

More incomprehensible mumbling followed…

~“KING?!?”~

Oh goodness…

This time you could hear how Lancelot was trying to calm the boy.

But Percival was having none of it, you heard only parts of what he said.

~“If you’re— marry her— queen.”~

That halted you, it was clear what the boy was speaking of.

If you married Lancelot, who was a king by birthright, it would make you his queen. You plopped down on your bed again, the fact truly settled in.

In time the Fey would recognize his devotion to protect them and if they realized what he was, there was a chance they’d name and accept him as king.

Especially with the power that resided in him, ancient and to protect them, they would not deny him.

Were you ready for when that day would come?

At this time he refused kingship, but once they would grant it to him too, would he still reject it?

Nothing would frighten the Church more than one raised by them, with their secrets, to become a king of the enemy.

Even Lancelot would consider it the perfect insult to them.

An Ashen king with a Manblood queen…would the Fey ever allowed it?

No, you couldn’t let these doubts steal away the joy you felt at the prospect of marrying him. No one knew what the future holds.

You forced yourself to stand and be more confident on the matter. It was time to announce your plans to wed, if Lancelot told it to Percival, it was only a matter of time before the others would hear of it.

A quick announcement would be better than delaying it and if Percival knew, it would become a very quick announcement…

You opened the door, stepped out and were met with a couple of widened brown eyes.

Neia had been eavesdropping at Percival’s door, she looked as if she expected a harsh scolding or worse.

The quiet gasp of the startled child was heartbreaking.

“It’s alright. I’m not upset.” You quickly assured the frightened girl.

She seemed rather ashamed of her eavesdropping.

You stepped over to her and asked “You heard them speak to each other too?”

Neia visibly relaxed once it was clear that she was not the only one who had heard Percival and Lancelot speak “Is it true?”

With a nod, you took her hand in yours and knocked on the door to Percival’s room.

It was opened by Lancelot and once he let the both of you in, all was explained to the children.

Not much later, you sat in the dining hall at the table among friends.

Often you sneaked a glance at Lancelot who seemed just as nervous as you were. On the end of the long table were Neia and Percival, two children asked to keep a secret while it was ready to spill from their mouths.

Pym was shoveling her baked eggs into her mouth with a hunger one would have after a week of starvation.

Arthur was filling his stomach with conversation, especially towards Red Spear.

Kaze was picking up a piece of meat from her plate which she looked at with suspicion and shamelessly dropped it onto Gawain��s plate, the knight looked at it oddly but said not a word.

Lancelot wasn’t eating, he was moving the food on his plate around to make it look like he was.

Gawain noticed the odd behavior of his friend “Is something the matter?”

A moment of silence passed, the Ash Man put his fork down.

He sounded more confident than he felt “I have news I wish to share.”

The knight did not look away from him “I am listening.”

Lancelot drank some water from his tankard first, then shared the news “Y/n and I will wed.”

The silence that fell over the table was so sudden and unexpected.

Had they all heard?!?

They stared at him, then at you to see your response to the claim.

Your voice was quieter than a mouse’s “It’s true.”

Arthur held his tongue for only a few seconds and ended up blurting out “I don’t believe it.”

Lancelot was visibly offended by his statement “Pardon?”

Arthur truly believed it was just a joke “Wed? You? Come on. You were a monk not long ago, Lancelot.”

Pym had stopped chewing her food and watched the scene unfold.

Hearing that made you turn to Arthur and subtly, considering there were nosy children nearby, you made the vague comment “He was. Although it is getting harder for me to tell.”

Lancelot dropped his eyes to his plate and bit back the smirk.

Gawain and Arthur’s eyes had widened by the comment.

Red Spear had little to no reaction to the news, she was more annoyed by being interrupted during her meal.

Kaze rolled her eyes and mumbled “I knew it.”

The Ash Man faced the skeptical Arthur “I cannot change who I was, but I can decide who I am now. I will wed her. You may have doubts, I do not.”

Hearing that he had no doubts to wed warmed your heart and erased any fears you previously had about it.

Arthur apologized to his friend “You’re right. I am not the person who I used to be either and neither are you. I believe in the man you have become, Lancelot. For all it’s worth… you have my blessing.”

“And mine.” Gawain chimed in, patting the Ash Man on the back amicably.

Pym muttered quietly “This is so weird…”

You smiled at her bewildered response.

Kaze shrugged her shoulders, there was not a single person there who did not expect the response, at least her weapons stayed sheathed so it was considered a good reaction.

“I didn’t know you were that close.” Pym was still in a state of processing the news.

Red Spear looked in your direction, then told Pym “Always keep your weapons closer than anyone or anything.”

Poor Arthur drank some ale from his tankard after hearing the advice from the raider’s Captain.

Gawain raised his tankard “Here’s to the joining of our former monk and nun.”

Lancelot rolled his eyes at the jest and shook his head but did raise his tankard too.

Everyone else did as well, even Kaze although she only moved hers an inch up from table and went back to eating her breakfast.

You shared a relieved look with Lancelot.

No more hiding.

And a joining to look forward too.

Life really had fallen back into place, it had been a rocky road, but the journey was worth every second of it.

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