#(( been working on this for the past 1 2/3 months so I hope the effort shows through! ))

[asklordofthelost]

~Listen Along~

[daskolas]

PAC: HOW WILL YOUR REST OF 2023 GO.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Ask yourself questions "how will my rest of 2023 go" and see where your intuition is taking you.

This is a general reading so it may or may not resonate with you

Pile-1 , pile-2, pile-3

PILE - 1

Hii, welcome to your pile. I hope 2023 has been treating you well. Here is your reading:

SEPTEMBER: You're trying to get your life structured this month. You are making a timetable or anything to get organised or even just try to devote time to things like doing workout everyday, spending time with yourself. Some of you could be waiting for someone's text and are not able to sleep because of that. So don't worry about it. Whether you receive that text or not, it will depend on fate. You sometimes have to let things go. Rest of you are overthinking about your future a lot so remember that overthinking won't take you anywhere, put efforts and take care of your health. You could have some issues with someone about how they want different things than you. For, some of you, it is internal (especially for people whose initials are R, T, A, N). Expect something to change and it will be fruitful.

OCTOBER: this month is more about reaping benefits of the seeds you sow. You will be dating someone. That person will be flirtatious and dramatic. Plan your steps with an eye to the long term. Don't make decisions quickly, analyse pros and cons according to the long term. Have some patience because you never know when you will receive something good. Learn to understand when you have to listen to your heart or mind. This will come very handy this month. Do not feel trapped because you will be longer stuck in that situation. Plan what to do next step carefully. Trust your intuition. Especially, do some chakra meditation. This month is about making decisions, thinking and falling for someone.

NOVEMBER: you will be leaving a bad habit behind. That habit which was holding you back and making you feel trapped. It can even be a person. Try to bring fun into things. Do not do them as some chores but make them fun. This month you really need to believe in yourself and have some self love. A lack of self confidence can keep you back from getting what you want. You have to realise that you are powerful and you can take back anything you want. A journey is now complete. You will also get success. I am not getting a lot for this month but learning to love yourself is the main highlight.

DECEMBER: you will have a financial windfall in December. Expect to receive money and some person who will support you. What I am getting is that, carry a notepad with you and write down whatever ideas you are having. You will have to learn how to communicate effectively. If you are getting some good ideas then implement it. Review your past and present and see how far you have come. Do not hold yourself onto certain standards or judge yourself, do whatever you feel like and however you feel like. You can also go to someplace or even purchase a vehicle. You will realise your dreams and will go after them this month. You will also try to come out of your comfort zone and feel more optimistic.

This was your reading pile 1. I hope it resonated.

PILE - 2

Hii, welcome to your pile. I hope 2023 has been treating you well. Here is your reading:

SEPTEMBER: you are not seeing something clearly this month. It seems like you are trying to ignore or take granted all the things you have and wishing to have other things. Many people who chose this pile are trying to manifest something important. If you will be focusing on what you don't have, you will not be able to manifest. Show some gratitude and see how fast things come for you. And also someone needs to hear this " A bright future is manifested through hard work and creativity." You will also feel satisfied from the work you have done. Many of you are afraid to take action even though you have plans and everything. So, take this as a sign and take some action. It will be great for you, if you will be fearless and pursue your dreams.

OCTOBER: you will get a friend with whom you can share your feelings with, without feeling any sort of judgement from them. You can feel a little powerless this month but if you realise how wonderful you are, then you will be easily able to overcome challenges. Leave people who are no longer serving you and align yourself with people who have high spiritual ideals. This month you will need to come out of your box and consider new and creative modes of accomplishing your goals. But you will be looking at the future with hope and optimism so that hope will make you do hard work. You might also question your plans but you will also come to the conclusion that your plan is not wrong but something else is.

NOVEMBER: expect to receive some good news. And you will also be able to be successful in your work. It doesn't matter if you are working or school but this month is great for you. If you are required to make some career decisions, then follow your passion. BE THE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO. you will also be able to stop procrastinating and put efforts in your work. If you have to make decisions, then do not overanalyze it as you will be more confused by this. Reach out to others when you are required to do. Take advice from people. Some of you will feel like they are leaving some things behind so know that you are on the right path.

DECEMBER: I see that you are still carrying things which you should have completed in November itself. But listen to your brain when you have to find some solution to anything. There can also be some unexpected change like you have to move to another state or something but it will be sudden only. You will also be ignoring the information which is presented right in front of you because it will not be exactly what you want to hear. Don't be deterred by challenges. Know that a challenge is something which makes the things worth doing. You will also be able to manifest something and make good progress in some endeavours

This was your reading pile 2. I hope it resonated.

PILE - 3

Hii, welcome to your pile. I hope 2023 has been treating you well. Here is your reading:

SEPTEMBER: you are going to take control of your life. Some of you are going back to school or even deciding to. You are trying to show more gratitude or forgiveness to other people. It's like trying out a new thing where you basically change your life maybe by doing different manifestation challenges or something. You might also do some more self- care like doing skincare, working out, eating healthy etc. This month is going to be great for you as you will be able to come in contact with your inner child.

OCTOBER: you are moving into a new direction. Maybe you are planning to start something new or following something which you always wanted to do. October is going to be great for you to take action as this month is about moving forward. But you could also question yourself, if you should move forward with this. You are planning things for a bright future and hence comparing traditional vs modern methods. You will also receive some good news. If you are doing something creative for free, then expect to earn something from them. This month will bring you lots of happiness but it will also require you to work very hard.

NOVEMBER: the good news which I mentioned above, looks like you are going to have a celebration in November because of it. You also are going to be cutting off toxic people or those people who are no longer matching your energy. This will make you feel alone and constantly overthinking about it. You could also be starting to question your decision, if that's the right thing to do. You might focus on worst-case scenarios. You are also becoming a lot focused on your career or education this month. It looks like you are taking back the control which you needed. You are also recognising all the blessings and being grateful for them. For some people, some person in your family might get married.

DECEMBER: you are going to be in touch with your spiritual side much more. Like you could start meditating for balancing different chakras especially the third eye. You are going to listen to your intuition or even feel more confident in that side. You are also going to give yourself proper rest like hibernating. Some self-reflection will really help you so much this month. You will also be hanging out with your small group of friends or the people you trust most. In October, i said about overthinking. Looks like you are going to let go of all the fear and worry this month.

This was your reading pile 3. I hope it resonated.

[tarotwithavi]

Messages from your inner child 🎁🪐

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

Masterlist

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Hello if you're reading I hope you have a great month ahead!

Pile 1

Hello I hope you are fine I just want to ask you how are you coping up with it. We promised to be a kind person did we not? Are you still that kind person? I am not talking about how you treat others I am talking about how you treat yourself. Are you being kind to us? I just get upset sometimes when you don't treat yourself the way you treat your good friends because I am your friend too. Are we doing our dream job? Are we doing what we dreamed of? No? Do we have the friend group that we always desired? Are we popular now? Are you putting enough work to get all that we desired? I am not blaming you I am just reminding you that to get what we desire we need to put in the same effort. You know you are capable of all that you desire, you're worthy of all that you desire but things will not be served on a silver platter for you.

I see that a lot of you have been hurt and yourself healing from all those experiences. I also see that some of you may have been through a miscarriage or death of a child. Your inner child just wants you to know that everything will be okay and you will be fine. I also see that some of you need to take action to fulfill your dreams. You have the idea that you just need to put it to work. Follow your dreams, are you the person your inner child will be proud of? Ask yourself. What can you do to be the person you always dreamt of becoming as a child?

Pile 2

Hello! I know you have been really stressed lately. I know things did not work out the way you thought they would or the way you wanted them to but I just want you to know that the upcoming days are a blessing. You have done enough for us now it's your time to take a rest and finally give yourself the credit you deserve. I do not feel good when you overwork yourself. If you look closely we are currently living one of her childhood dreams you just need to acknowledge that. You are already doing enough to become the person you are meant to be and sometimes life does punch us in the face but we have to stand strong. Do not be harsh with your words, do not look yourself in the mirror and say harsh things because I live inside you. Yes, things are really bad. Yes we do not have the money to get some work done but it will be alright. Remember “This too shall pass”. The people the times the beauty all these things are temporary with the only thing that is permanent is your mind. People leave you, time changes and beauty becomes not so beautiful with time but it is only your brain that remains the same. Yes it does go from frequent changes but in the end it's your brain that is going to stay with you forever. so keep that positive and do not let those negative thoughts get to you.

Alright so this may be a really specific message but I am getting that if you used to have a twin who couldn't survive , they are now one of your spirit guides. I also want you to know that you are going to reap the fruits of what you bore in the past. For example if you did a good thing and forgot about it then you are getting the good Karma back but if you did a bad thing then this is just the karma getting at you. For some of you you are about to meet your soulmate and have a long term relationship with them however I would suggest you to not obsess over the thought of having a soulmate because that may repel them. I also see that your inner child is proud of you actually and they really want to give you a big hug. Imagine your child self hugging you and patting you on the back.

Pile 3

Hello!!!!! Do not be sad, we have to prove people wrong, right? We have to prove that we are enough and we have to prove that they have been wrong for a very long time. They have been wrong about the world, they have been wrong about us, they have been wrong about what beauty is. Honestly I don't think there is anything they have been correct at. Just keep doing what you are doing. I am really proud of you and you should keep being yourself. Show them your sarcastic side and talk back to them. You are doing enough I said and that's the end of the topic. They can be the one to speak or to start a conversation or even an argument but we will be the one who ends it. You are here to break generational curses . What people say should not bother you. In fact what people say should not bother anyone because they don't pay our bills. I don't know how you become so anxious because this is not you, we are carefree, we are cheerful and we are beautiful.

Alright so your inner child seems sassy so to say. I also see that you have been receiving messages in your dreams or your about to. I also see that if you are thinking of starting a new business or giving a job interview or filing for a job then you should definitely do it but be really careful of what information you share. Some of you may be having nightmares recently because your room is really cold. Things about to change life will turn drastically. It's like you are about to shift realities. Right now you may be doing two jobs or maybe managing work and job and may be really stressed about yesterday's work and your personal life but you're about to shift into a reality where you will not have to worry about these things. You are about to shift into a reality where your manifestations will come to reality within seconds.

[novalpha]

𝘝𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝐹𝑖𝑐 𝑅𝑒𝑐𝑠

♡ Fluff || ୨୧ Angst || ★ Smut || ꗃ SMAU || ⌗ Series || ✿ Drabble || ♤ Mature (No smut) || ✹ Humor

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Buy A Boyfriend ♡★⌗ -> @sluttywoozi Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

Summary: Being a professional boyfriend on SVTHub is great - all Vernon has to do is respond to a few texts, send out a couple selfies, do a stream every now and then, and he makes enough to cover tuition. Things get a little tricky when he finds himself wishing he actually was your boyfriend.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ By hook or by cross ♡୨୧★ -> @kabira

summary — so you punched a guy, and now he wants you to teach him how to fight, because clearly, you know how to do it better. well, fine, you say. as long as he keeps his distance. (spoiler alert: he doesn’t.)

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ divorce child ♡★ -> @lovelyhan

summary: you like to think that your most recent breakup with vernon ended on relatively good terms. there’s only one issue left to sort out: who’s getting custody of the cat you got together?

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Cold hands, Warm hearts ♡ -> @duhnova

synopsis: this holiday season, your daughter decided the best present she could give to you was a new boyfriend, which is why she and her best friend yujin have taken it upon themselves to play matchmaker. their candidate? yujin’s father.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Operation : Hot girl summer ♡✹★ -> @shuaflix

SUMMARY ▸ the summer you started putting more effort into your appearance also happens to be the summer where vernon chwe's piercing gaze leaves you feeling like you're floating high up in the clouds.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Not a virgin ♡✹★ -> @ncteez

Vernon, a friend of your friend spills his spicy sex life and accidentally reveals to an entire group of near-strangers (including you) that he’s had sex one and a half times and that it was sick.

or the one where despite vernon not being a virgin, he is somehow more of a virgin than an actual virgin. 

❙❘��❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ High and fucked ★ -> @rubyreduji

summary: hansol is nothing to you but your ex-boyfriend's roommate, but you still find yourself alone with him while you get high together

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Risk it all ★ -> @sluttywoozi

Summary: Vernon's got a crush on his tutor, and everything gets harder when you start wearing thigh high socks. Everything.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ The soulmate service ♡✹୨୧ -> @dkfile

the soulmate service has one purpose: to help those who drew the short end of the stick and ended up without a person to live their forever with. after the heart wrenching realization that the boy you’ve loved since you were thirteen isn’t the one meant for you, you put your love life in the hands of vernon chwe — which, now that you think about it, is probably a very bad idea.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Work husband ♡✹ -> @wondernus

synopsis: falling for the young and flirty high school history teacher is inevitable especially when he pays for your groceries and calls himself your work husband

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Trillium ♡★ -> @beahae

Summary: Vernon is flying in to see his girlfriend. Oh shit, that’s… you. Being away from him for the past few months ago makes it hard for it to feel real, especially after two years of what you both convinced yourselves was a purely platonic friendship. Now that he’s here in the flesh, you are determined to make it feel real. And very non-platonic.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Say you love me (i love you) ♡✹ -> @viastro

synopsis: three heavy words. you’re so used to saying this to the one person that’s always been by your side, because you know that he’s your other half; platonically. these words have always held some sort of meaning whenever you say it to vernon, in hopes that maybe one day he’ll say it back to you.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Distraction ♡✹★ -> @minghaoyoudoin

summary: typically, when a person’s house smells like fire, you call the fire department. when your house smells like fire, you know it’s because Vernon is cooking.

[ More Vernon fic recs will be updated ]

Want more Seventeen fic recs? -> Click here

[remcycl333]

the distraction technique 💫

—inspired by dylan james & it is done—

i’ve mentioned in a few asks what i like to call the distraction technique. i’ve successfully manifested with it in the past, and about a year ago it helped me to finally manifest something into my 3d that i had been struggling with for months.

this method comes from something that dylan james recommends in his videos. i go over that in depth in the second half of this ask.

the technique:

whenever you think of your desire, stop yourself and simply affirm “it is done.” say this to yourself firmly. and then force yourself to think of something else.

that’s it! that’s the technique.

why does this work?

there’s multiple reasons why this technique is beneficial!

1. your subconscious mind is incredibly smart. it knows what you want, and it’s working to get you what you want. by not even bothering to think about your desire at all, to worry about it or to obsessively affirm for it, it kinda tells your subconscious mind that you trust it fully and that you know it’s gonna bring your desire to you and that you don’t even have to lift a finger.

2. this method is basically the embodiment of the phrase “if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all.” except it’s “if you don’t have something positive to think about your desire, don’t think about your desire at all.” this technique can be very beneficial to ppl who constantly worry about and doubt your manifestation. ik it can seem counterintuitive to just stop thinking about your desire rather than to work on your doubts, but it really helps. once again you’re kinda signifying that you trust that it’s yours and that you’re gonna get it. you trust it so much that you don’t have to employ any effort at all—not even thinking.

(note: no actual trust is necessary here)

short and simple but there’s the technique!

my experiences with this technique:

works like a charm every single time. this is for my besties that feel like they have to affirm every second of the day to get what they want. this is for my besties who have been trying to get what they want for months and still don’t have it and feel themselves doubting bc of that. this is for my besties who don’t want to affirm or visualize cuz they’re lazy.

i was scared to first use this technique when i discovered it summer 2021. but when i first employed it i manifested something i had been struggling to manifest within a day! it rlly took the weight off my shoulders and allowed me to enjoy myself without worrying about my manifestation.

i hope u guys use this technique and share your success stories with me! <3

[peculiarxafternoon]

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮

paid readings | ko-fi

hello, darlings. before we start anything, i would like to warn you that this reading is not going to be as detailed as my other ones. it will not have any sections, for one, and it will generally be more low energy (not in vibration just,, in effort? i guess?). for the past couple of months ive been struggling with my motivation, mood, and mental state, so i hope for this reading to act as a warm up of sorts, a way to dip my toes into this again and start over. thank you for your patience, and for the people who still like to listen to what i say, i appreciate you lots!

still, i like this question and this concept a lot, and i hope it resonates with you! it was definitely nice for me to do, anyway.

take a deep breath and focus on your ideal life as a celebrity. then, pick a pile intuitively.

! for entertainment purposes only!

! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome!

! decks used: rider waite tarot deck, mermaid tarot, astrological oracle cards!

pile 1

(cards: the sun, the empress, the lovers, nine of cups rx, two of cups rx, the hanged man rx, strength rx, three of pentacles rx, sagittarius)

before i even started shuffling i got major jisoo vibes for you all, and honestly that seems to be the case here. when i think about jisoo, class, femininity and elegance come into my mind, and with the empress and the lovers here, that seems to be the case for you too. you would definitely be extremely famous (like, to a concerning degree for your safety and privacy) since most of your cards are major arcana. i see you doing brand deals left and right for brands like dior, channel, and vivienne westwood, and being really popular for simply knowing how to sell a product, even as an affiliate.

something that's also really interesting is that you would probably get into a lot of dating scandals, or people would try to dig up secrets and end up making things up about you. it would get to the point where you wouldn't even be able to look at people for too long, because everyone would go crazy over a possible spark between you two. that would get you down tbh, like i just see you looking at the headlines with a frown, wondering how on earth people come up with these things.

still, i feel like a major part of your brand would be your ability to be happy on your own and your confidence. even your haters would be amazed at how you carry yourself, and how you manage to always look and feel good. even if that isn't how you would truly feel, you would surely come off as someone who has their shit together, who is determined to achieve whatever they want, and who knows that they can get whatever they set their mind to. it would be so inspiring to see you emerge victorious after being wronged again, especially since i sense you would have an underdog backstory. people would root for you, because they can see themselves and their struggles in you. and if you can achieve so much, then so can they, right?

i see you having a very clear goal in your mind, of where you want to get, but it would often get you to be more stubborn and grumpy than normal. while you would be known as a sunshine of sorts, it could get pretty exhausting for your team when all you can focus on is one specific deal, reward, or result. no matter how much you would achieve, you would have this need to go further, experience more things, create more art, get out there more. that, if you started in a music group or band of sorts, would make you step away quickly after you achieved fame. some would think it's for the best, others would think the opposite. i don't see it affecting you much, though, because you would realise that the support is much greater than the disdain, and that you work much better alone, anyway.

thank you for reading!

pile 2

(cards: the moon, nine of cups rx, seven of pentacles, the hierophant rx, seven of wands, strength rx, king of swords, queen of swords rx, mars)

this pile gives off a very introverted vibe – for a celebrity, at least. you guys may have gotten famous accidentally or under weird circumstances (like taehyung going to the audition to support his friend, or people being casted while walking down the street), so it would take a while for you to get used to the popularity, along with your new lifestyle. it wouldn't be too hectic, though , i don't see you being extremely famous, just enough for you to be recognised on the street but not stalked, you know?

still, it would often feel draining, especially if you surround yourself with others a lot for your job. it would physically tire you out, i see fatigue being a big issue you would have to deal with, and it honestly could show on your face, but you would keep it under control more often than not.

you would come off as very generous, probably doing charity work, volunteering, or raising awareness for special causes. you would also leave the impression of someone witty, who knows how to manage and advertise themselves. you and your team would make very smart moves that would make your popularity skyrocket, and you would play a big part of it too. if your job involves some sort of writing – whether that means you would be an author, lyricist, rapper or poet – you would be extremely well-known for your unique style and smart lyrics.

i also see you being extremely unique in the projects you take on, your style and execution would differ greatly from other people in your field. naturally, that would attract a lot of opposing opinions and impressions, but i don't think you'd care about what others would have to say. like, you got famous by chance, the best you can do is enjoy it while it lasts, right? if you're a woman, or someone who is more feminine in their ways, some people may find you aloof, cold and unapproachable, but they would just be intimidated by you (as people are when they see a successful, decisive woman, heaven forbid) so, again, nothing to really worry about. i also sense that you most likely don't conform to gender norms, anyway, and would ride your own wave, expressing yourself the way you want to and living your life to the fullest.

thank you for reading!

pile 3

(cards: the hermit, seven of pentacles, the lovers rx, two of cups, ace of cups rx, then of pentacles rx, six of pentacles, king of pentacles, jupiter)

you guys would be the type to get. shit. done. no matter your field or experience, you would see projects through and deliver your 110% while you're at it. I'm definitely getting some sort of perfectionism from you, though, like you would often feel dissatisfied with your work because, even if you gave all you had, there is still something you could have done better. it seems that it would be pretty well known, too, that tendency of yours, so people would want to work with you even more because you would never slack off.

you may also go on hiatuses often? like you would take big breaks to isolate yourself from everyone and everything and just,,, focus on bettering yourself? it reminds me of tyler from twenty one pilots, when he literally disappeared off the face of the earth for almost two years and then released a full length album with fully developed lore behind it. or taehyn from txt who admitted to locking himself in the recording booth until he gets some sort of progress. you get the vibe. while behaviours like that may seem a little extreme to some, i get the feeling that you would be completely self made, and kind of an underdog for the first years of your career, so it would make sense that you go to such lengths to achieve good results and somewhat satisfy your perfectionism and survival instincts.

i see you being a very comforting presence for your fans, and sharing your life advice with them. some may even fantasise about being your friend or dating you, because you would seem like such a great person to have around. i keep thinking of suga from bts, so it's likely that you would give off the same aura. also, very ambitious, you would be known as someone with a lot of potential and a bright future ahead of you.

you would also be very well known for your pr management and relationships with people within your field (or just other celebrities). i don't think that your love life specifically would be broadcasted, but people would be very invested in your friendships and the people you hang out with. you left a recording studio with a coworker late at night? headline. you hung out with a director and posted a story about it? headline. you laugh at a friend's joke while walking down the street? headline. you would just have some really good friendships, possibly with other famous people, and maybe some romantic relationships as well. still, people would be mostly supportive of them, since they know that you always prioritise your art and work, and since they want the best for you.

thank you for reading!

! do not copy or repost my work !

[nottyourlover]

Broken Bonds - ch 2

a/n: prolly 4 ch's now :) sorry this took 800 years i kinda put off writing this bc i didnt want to disappoint but here it is.

ALSO SORRY THERE WILL MOST LIKELY BE ~7 WEEKS OF HIATUS AFTER THIS.

series summary: as azriel leaves for a long mission in vallahan, you find that clinging onto old bonds does nothing to heal them.

contains: angst, still mental health themes, pregnant y/n, off-page death, language. slowburn ???????

word count: 8506 (oh gosh)

ch 1 // ch 3

***

Many weeks passed, and with each day, the void left by Azriel's absence grew wider, but luckily you found yourself surrounded with some of the best people in the world, you thought. As always, Feyre was wonderful; she helped you get out of bed, she re-ignited your passions. She listened to you vent about your relationship, gave you advice and she constantly surprised you, always with a little gift from a new store in The Rainbow. However, one of the best surprises you received didn't come from Feyre.

About two weeks after Azriel's departure you had received a letter from your childhood friend Aiden and his now fiance, Malakai. You couldn't believe it, because it had been centuries since you'd seen Aiden, let alone been contacted by him, but on the other hand you saw Malakai weekly. He was Cassian's right-hand man, and you learnt from him after the wedding that Aiden had become a healer who travelled around Prythian, practicing in all the courts. Their jobs were different in every way, but they complemented each other perfectly.

It was unexpected, the letter, but you couldn't have been happier to hear from them, especially because the envelope held an invitation their wedding.

The wedding was a modest celebration, but all the Inner Court members attended to show their support for the happy couple. Kai had known Cassian, Rhys and Azriel for years, since training together for the Blood Rite, and had stayed in touch for centuries after. He was now Cassian's Lieutenant General who commanded the Night Court's forces where Cassian was otherwise preoccupied with Inner Circle business. You knew him from the occasional training session, and you were glad that the two of you had gotten a lot closer after the wedding. He had become fast friends with the rest of the Inner Circle, and after the wedding Aiden also befriended them. It was almost laughable how you had managed to miss that the male Kai talked so fondly about, the healer that had stolen his heart, was your friend. Your Aiden.

Even if the last few months of your own life were less than ideal, the newly-wed couple had become your rocks, and you knew they would eventually become amazing parents since they were so doting towards you and your baby.

You were still early in your pregnancy but careful nonetheless. Although you still planned to work for as long as you could in an attempt to maintain some sense of normalcy, you quickly realised that it was going to be somewhat of a struggle hiding your pregnancy from the rest of the Inner Circle for any longer. Training was not any easier as no one suspected anything, and Mor and Cass still held their monthly game nights when they drank like there was no tomorrow.

Under Feyre's insistence, you had lessened your field work and so majority of your days consisted of writing letters to the other High Lords and leaders in attempt to strengthen alliances and unite the various factions within Prythian, hoping that it would create a better world for your child to grow up in. Due to past efforts, relations with the Day, Dawn, Summer and Winter courts were strong, and you were certain you had their support. The Spring Court with Tamlin, and Autumn with Beron were other matters, however. Perhaps you would ask Feyre to use her sway with Lucien who could convince Tamlin to at least reply to one of your letters, but you had recently heard Lucian say that he had not visited Spring in a long while, instead opting to stay with the Band of Exiles. Then you thought about High Lord Beron. He was a grumpy, disagreeable High Lord, and also a problem for another day, you had finally decided.

The first week and a half after Azriel's departure, you had rarely gotten out of bed, even when Feyre had tempted you with tarts. You felt bad that Cassian looked so regretful when he couldn't cheer you up when you neglected morning trainings those first few weeks. He thought it was because you were missing Azriel, and you were, but even more so, you were worrying over your pregnancy. When Feyre had finally managed to get you out of the house, the two of you mainly walked up and down The Rainbow, visiting the old bookstores and trying all the new bakeries.

Aiden was staying in Velaris for his honeymoon, but he still insisted on working, the kind male he was. You found happiness in visiting his healing clinic, helping him organise records and patient data. Listening to stories of his travels had inspired you like nothing else could. He told you about the catacombs under the Dawn Court, the unique architecture and history of Day.

His stories made you miss your mate, of the adventures the two of you had planned for the future, but you vowed that one day you'd travel with Azriel again. You tugged on the bond softly, something you had been doing since he left to feel connected. You weren't even sure if he could feel it though, since he never 'replied'.

Over the course of around two and a half months, you started to feel lighter. When you thought of your mate's return you started to feel optimistic. Maybe a break was the right decision, no matter how unplanned it initially was.

***

You had been spending most of your Sundays in Aiden's clinic, him helping with the pregnancy and keeping you company. You were browsing his bookshelves when you stumbled upon a book about Illyrian anatomy. It hadn't fully dawned on you yet that the child you were bringing into this world was likely going to come out with wings, but Aiden assured you the birth was not going to be too difficult seeing that you were half-Illyrian yourself. Your father had been an awful person, but at least he gave you the gift that would allow you to start a family with the one that you loved.

Obviously, a lot of trauma and pain occurred at a health clinic, but there was lots of warmth and beauty too, and it was becoming more apparent to you than ever. The young fae that lived in Velaris would occasionally come knocking to sell their sweets, or on quiet afternoons, Aiden would seek them out and give them some harmless (but hilarious) potions that would do crazy things, like temporarily turn their bodies invisible, colour their hair an electric blue, or even make them grow scales. Aiden was the finest healer in Prythian, and you were disappointed he could not stay for much longer than his honeymoon period before he needed to return to the road.

One such Sunday, the 12th week of your pregnancy had finally arrived. You were looking at your reflection in the full-length mirror, hand on your stomach.

You were showing. This was real.

You admired the swell of your stomach under the light, flowing dress. You looked... healthy. Glowing, even. Your features were not so hollowed out anymore, your cheeks fuller and eyes brighter, filled with shine. You felt better than ever.

But it was heartbreaking that your mate's absence had caused this, in a roundabout way. You closed your eyes, taking in this special moment. You reached to tug on the bond, and you swore you felt a glimmer of warmth before the string in your mind felt cold once more.

Aiden's voice dragged you out of your haze. "Y/n, are you ready to do the scan?" he asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

An "ultrasound" is what Aiden had called it. On his travels to the mortal lands, he had studied in the most advanced medical institutions on offer and was bringing this human technology to Faerie. This ultrasound was supposedly a sort of test they did on mortals with child, to verify the health and gender of the baby, and he was going to perform one on you today with the help of some of his healer magic to help.

"Just lay back on here, your dress should be stretchy enough for you to just lift it up..." Aiden trailed off as he fiddled with a tub of gel and a weird device, he explained he was going to lightly put on your stomach.

"In the Mortal Lands, they have these screens that show the mother the baby, but since I couldn't lug back a large computer, I'll compensate with a simple incantation. Unfortunately, this does mean you won't be able to keep any physical images of your baby."

You frowned slightly. You didn't even know it was on the table, to keep pictures of the little one growing inside you. You sighed a little as you readjusted the pillow and Aiden got to cleaning up. They would've been nice for Azriel to see, you supposed.

"Oh. That's okay, there's nothing you can do about it," is what you settled on saying. It had been centuries since the you had seen Aiden again, and after being somewhat abruptly pushed into each other's lives again... it was awkward, sometimes.

"I trust you," you added, "But exactly how many times has this magic-and-mortal-device combination been used for ultrasounds?"

Aiden flashed you the same boyish grin that got the two of you out of trouble when you were younger and given that your mother was... well, who she was, that was a difficult feat indeed. It was one of the reasons you had stuck with the slightly infuriating male who stood before you today; he would always protect you. Of course, this was until you had lost touch. "Well..." he pretended to do a thinking pose. You hoped he was joking.

You narrowed your eyes at him, but you doubted he could even see you. "Aiden? This is safe, right?"

"Just kidding, y/n. Of course, it is safe for use and has been trialed numerous times."

"Not funny." You muttered to yourself.

Under Aiden's instruction, you lifted up your dress until it was just under your bust. The masses of fabric were somewhat blocking your vision, but even so, you lifted your neck slightly to try see what Aiden was doing.

"It's interesting how mortals compensate for not having magic, this gel is especially interesting," he mused. He had become such an intellect, always curious and ready to learn. You were somewhat shocked to see what he'd made of himself, so different from that class clown you used to know.

You couldn't do more than make what hopefully came out as a sound of interest, as you weren't really able to see what "gel" your friend was even referring to.

"This might feel a bit cold," Aiden said, before he applied a thin layer of a wet, smooth mixture to your stomach. "It'll help this little machine to see your womb."

"Sure," you reply. What else could be said?

"Oh! Wait." You add abruptly. Aiden stopped his movements instantly. "I... don't want to know the gender." You finished, chewing your lip slightly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yet. I mean, yes. I don't want to know yet. I'll find out when everyone else does, whenever that is."

Aiden sent you a confident smile. "Okay, y/n/n."

After that, he seemed to sense your nervousness, and so after the gel was applied, Aiden placed a comforting hand on yours, which were busy pulling at the seams of your dress. The clothing suddenly felt too thick, and the breezy material no longer cooled your skin, but instead made it itch, and the back of your neck felt hot. He changed the positioning of your bed with a small flick of his wrist, in a swift motion. Slowly, your upper body rose to a sitting position while your legs stayed flat. This way, you could see what was happening.

Then you heard it, and suddenly, there was too much to say.

Unmistakably, there was thumping. Muffled thumping that seemed to echo around the room.

Aiden had big grin on his face. He met your eyes only for a moment before returning to the task literally in front of him. You realised he was concentrating hard on a small floating projection, a clear screen that showed all sorts of charts and figures. In the center of the clear screen there was a black rectangle that had something moving in it. Different shades of greys and white danced across the screen in pixelated motions but they all moved together, as if they were forming something whole.

"Is that...?" you asked softly. You couldn't get the words out, because your heart was in your throat. It was difficult to see, from the weird angle that you observed the screen in, but it couldn't have been anything else.

Just like when you were kids, he read your mind.

"Yes, y/n," he breathed softly. His fingers floated across the keyboard on the bedside table. which you suspected was somehow connected to Aiden's magical projection.

The perfect mix of fae magic and mortal engineering.

At last, Aiden spoke.

"That's the heartbeat."

***

It had been 2 weeks since that first ultrasound, and you were talking with Feyre about breaking the news to the rest of your friends. The two of you were sitting in the courtyard, the late afternoon sun casting its warm, friendly glow. You marveled at the beauty of the gardens a "Oh, I'm so excited for you! Your baby is going to be spoiled like crazy," your friend exclaimed fondly, a big grin on her face.

Hearing Feyre's enthusiasm calmed your nerves immensely, and you reached for your High Lady's hand. "I wish Az was here," you admitted, "if he was, I'd do something bigger. I think I'm just going to tell everyone at dinner."

Feyre's glance softened at the mention of your mate. "That sounds good, but y/n, I hate to mention this now but when are you going to tell Azriel?"

You bit your lip, averting eye contact. "I'm not sure, actually. Whenever's best, I suppose."

"You can be honest with me, y/n/n. I just think you should tell him."

"Of course I'm going to tell him."

"But your baby's going to be born before he gets back, surely you're not going to have him come home blind-" Feyre said insistently.

You started to get a little annoyed. "I will tell him, Feyre. He will not 'come home blind'."

But were you sure? Would Azriel even reply to your letters? Would he care enough to write more than his usual 5 sentences? A pain ran through your heart as you recalled the last time you wrote was about a month ago. He hadn't replied. You didn't want him to be distracted on the mission, or worse, hurt himself because he was worrying.

Feyre could read your expression. "Are you really thinking about lying to your mate? About your child. His child, y/n. It's Azriel's too."

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. "Gods, Feyre. You think I don't know that? Stop pushing this, it's my decision and if I want to leave it until he comes back... then that's on me." But deep down you knew she was right.

Your words just hung between you as the conversation ended. You didn't believe what you just said, and by the silence that fell, you could tell Feyre didn't either.

The two of you sat in your respective chairs and avoided eye contact, Feyre was fiddling with the sash on her dress, and you were looking into the sky, eyes squinting as you immediately regretted staring straight into the sun.

"Feyre, darling?" called Rhys' smooth voice. You glanced at your wristwatch, which indicated Feyre and Rhys' meeting was about to start. You sighed a little; you would have to apologise later.

"Here, Rhys!" Feyre quickly gathered her things but put a comforting hand on your shoulder as she passed. "Bye, y/n."

Then Rhys whisked Feyre away, leaving you alone in the courtyard.

You didn't want to keep sitting in the courtyard rethinking your conversation with Feyre. Or perhaps was it an argument? You quickly left the gardens as soon as the sun started setting, in hopes you would bump into another one of your friends. You walked towards the door to the main house and luckily, the moment you turned around after closing the door, there was Kai, gathering some items in a satchel, looking like he was about to leave.

You wondered if you should bother him as he looked busy, but before you could sneak off, it seemed that Kai used his big-brother senses because he turned around and spotted you.

"Y/n! My favourite person." He beamed, tucking strands of his golden hair behind his ears.

"I think Aiden might take some offense to that statement." You approached him smiling, yet slightly embarrassed he had almost caught you jumping over a couch.

"I'm sure he agrees with my sentiment." Your friend smiled.

"Going somewhere?"

"Just off to the Night Markets to buy a sheath for Aiden's present. It's a dagger, from my last mission overseas," He cocked his head slightly, as if trying to see if you were okay. "Would you like to join me?" Kai broke into a beaming smile. "We can get ice-cream."

You couldn't help grin as his words lit you up. The two of you used to always get ice-cream together, it was your thing. The ice-cream stores in Velaris changed their flavours daily, always a mix of aromatic spices and exotic fruits that somehow blended perfectly together. It was well-known amongst all your friends that Night Court ice-cream was one of your favourite things, and almost every birthday you got a tub of your favourite flavour, whatever it was. It reminded you of happier days, and some of your favourite memories consisted of you, laughing along with Kai over large cones of the sweet, icy treat.

"Really? I'd love to!" This is exactly what you needed to help you take your mind off your disagreement with Feyre. "I hope I'm not intruding though."

"You could never intrude. Besides, I could use another set of eyes. You've seen my wardrobe; I don't exactly choose the most stylish things." He bumped your shoulder affectionately.

You snickered. "That I have. Then you're lucky I took pity on you and offered my services to you."

Ever the drama queen, Kai lowered himself into a deep bow, "I thank you then, y/n."

Being with Kai had lifted your mood almost instantly. You had confided in him through your highs and lows, and when you had shown such intimate parts of yourself to another, it was easy to settle into comfortable companionship. He was like an older brother to you, one of your closest friends.

You watched Velaris' bustling marketplaces in awe as Kai soared through the air, his wings flapping. It had been a while since you had come out to see the signature Night Markets, but it was just as breathtaking as you remembered. There were crowds everywhere, and each store had twinkling lights. It was dark now, the light from each stall was illuminating the air around it, the mountains were shining a soft white from the snow, and you felt like you had returned home to the familiar sights, sounds and smells.

Kai led you to a few shops, and gods, it was lucky you were there. Somehow, he managed to pick out some of the strangest, weirdest designs that there were. It took almost 20 minutes of convincing before Kai discarded a sheath that was covered in ridiculous dyed fur that also had googly eyes stuck to the front, with eyebrows that jiggled when you removed the dagger.

"It's like an adorable fluffy animal!" He exclaimed.

"Kai, no. It looks like a mutilated toy rodent. I think I see bugs moving in the fur, and it smells like Cassian after training."

Kai whistled. "Harsh critic."

You shrugged, looping your arm through his to drag him back through the door. "I just saved your marriage, my friend."

Eventually you two of you picked a simple design. A sleek black design with silver buckles that was functional enough to store a pen or two, as well. Perfect for Aiden. Knowing him, he probably would use the sheath to store some of his equipment for operations, and the like.

"Thanks for helping me tonight," Kai smiled. "I owe you one."

"Don't mention it. All you ever need to owe me is some ice-cream." You almost jumped when you saw the old gelateria where the two of you frequented decades ago. Had it really been decades?

Kai seemed to be thinking the same thing because the moment the two of you sat down, he smiled, wistfully asking, "Do you remember the last time we came here?"

You hummed in thought, trying to come up with an answer. "I don't think I do. Must've been to celebrate something?"

Kai grinned. "No, not to celebrate. I remember," he started.

"Shocking how someone so old has a better memory than me." you smirked.

"Hush, y/n/n. Surely you remember, as it concerns your favourite person."

"My favourite person? So, not you then," you laughed.

"I'm wounded." Kai replied, deadpan. "No, anyway. I mean Azriel. You came to me after a big fight with Azzy."

You opened your mouth in shock. "I can't believe you still remember that!"

"Well, hard to forget," he said, dryly. "I had never seen you so upset." His expression turned pensive and worried, as if he was sensing the truth in your expression, which had turned from shocked to anxious with one sentence. He was sensing that maybe you weren't letting on exactly how saddened you were regarding the situation with Azriel. Of course, only Feyre and Aiden knew you were with child, and this factor contributed greatly.

"You know, because now you two are doing a lot more than just argue..." Malakai tried to lighten the mood, and for a second it worked. Then he did that stupid thing that mortals do; he made a "kissy face"... and then some.

Your eyes widened, but you had a big grin on your face. "Gods, Malakai! You did not just do that in public!" but your friend just smirked, innocently shrugging his shoulders. You wouldn't stay mad at him anyway. Never could.

The two of you finished your cones in silence.

"Let's walk around for a bit," Kai said, wiping his hands with a napkin.

"Okay, sure."

You and Kai walked behind the bustling marketplace to a lone bench where the two of you used to come all the time. It was your spot.

"I do have something to tell you, though."

"Oh yeah?" Kai looked as if he was trying to guess your news.

You took a breath in to steady yourself. "I'm telling you before most of the others... because I trust you. And I love you, you've always been..." another small inhale. "Maybe you can help me figure out what to do."

Kai swiveled so he was facing you more. "Of course," he smiled. "You know I'd do anything for you."

You smiled gratefully. "You may know that Azriel didn't really leave me on the best terms... Well, uh, he didn't leave me, specifically, you know, but I just mean that we'd argued before he left." You rambled. "A lot, actually. We argued a lot."

Kai put a comforting hand on your arm. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready," he said gently, kindly.

Kai kindness overwhelmed you, but lately it had felt like Feyre was treating you a bit like a broken doll, and she was just waiting for you to finally crack. Being doted on wasn't a bad thing, but it felt suffocating especially now, and you felt Feyre's time was wasted when you realised that only one thing would make you feel better about this situation, you were too much a coward to do. It should've been easy, telling Azriel he was going to be a father. You were good at writing, letters especially. So why couldn't you tell Azriel?

Everything is just more complicated when love is involved.

You cleared your throat. "Sorry. I'm fine. I'm ready to talk about it, I promise."

"Okay," Kai nodded. "No pressure."

"I'mfourteenweekspregnantandAzrieldoesn'tknow." The words spilled out like a waterfall. A small brook, perhaps. All in one motion but in a low whisper. There was no going back now, but it seemed Kai hadn't heard your jumble of words.

"You're... what?"

"Pregnant. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and Az- Azriel doesn't know." you were dangerously close to tears, but you felt a million times better now that you had told someone else.

Kai was silent for a dangerously long time. Then his mouth curved into a small grin. "Wow, y/n. I'm so happy for you!" and then he clarified, upon seeing your slightly startled expression. "I know you've been wanting to start a family for a while now, and you're the most deserving person to have your dream come true." He took a deep breath in. "I'll admit it's difficult that Azriel doesn't know, but you're strong, and we can work through this together."

You had started to cry. "S-sorry, I'm happy too, I- I don't know what to do. I've been k-keeping it from you for so long, and I just don't know what to do." Your voice broke.

"You don't need to apologise, I get it. It's going to be difficult, y/n, but you don't need to do it alone."

"You've kept a pregnancy from Aiden before?" you sniffed.

He smiled softly, wiping a trickling tear. "No, but I know relationships take work. What you and Az are going through is only natural, and you're both the strongest people I know. I see the bond you two have, and it's like no other I've seen." He stretched over the table to wipe away a tear falling down your cheek. "It's beautiful, y/n. I know you, and I know Az. He will support you, and whatever you choose, so will I."

You sniffed again, wiping away more tears. Gods, there were a lot of tears on your face. Kai pulled a large, thick handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to you.

"Aiden makes me carry it around, the massive thing. A real inconvenience. However, I've been told it makes an excellent torniquet." the warrior shrugged.

You managed a laugh. "Thanks."

Kai's expression softened. "Are you happy?"

His question caught you by surprise. "I've been processing these part few weeks. We were fighting because just noticed Azriel got increasingly unenthusiastic about our dates. About me," you felt the lump in your throat as you spilled your heart out. "S-sometimes I feel the b-bond go cold. Since he's been gone I can barely feel it, Malakai. I have to reach oh-so-far for something that should be permanent. Something that should be natural, and easy."

Kai wrapped you up in a hug, and you rested your head on his shoulder.

You took a pause. "But am I happy? I think so. If I can work this out with Az, then I will be. Really happy." You smiled slightly at the thought.

Kai nodded knowingly.

"Looks like you've only gotten wiser with age," you noted, slightly sad. Where'd all the time gone?"

"I guess we've both just gotten busier these past few centuries. You were sorting out your... confusing friendship with Azriel," you let out a laugh at that. Confusing was certaintly one word you could use to describe the relationship you and Az had before mating. Kai continued. "Well, and then you found out you were mates, but I was busy training here while trying to keep my relationship from my parents."

Your smile dropped a little. "But they were at your wedding, are you guys still okay?"

"Thanks for your concern, but we're all good. It's just that when I was younger, I saw how the villagers treated my sister when she confessed to me she favoured females, and word got out. It was a miracle no one blabbed to my parents before she finally told them decades later," he smiled. "I'm lucky my family are so supportive."

"I have a pretty great family too," you squeezed his hand.

The two of you sat in silence for a beat, smiling.

"Wait, before you said '"most" of the others know about your pregnancy. Who else knows?" Kai asked after a moment.

"Well, Madja, obviously, and Feyre and Aiden."

"My Aiden? He kept this from me?" The Lieutenant's eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head. Aiden was definitely about to receive a stern lecture about how his wedding vows promised no lies.

You laughed. "Well, smart guy, your Aiden is a healer, and I couldn't exactly go visit Madja because Rhys is always there on High Lord business, and Cass occasionally brings his soldiers there for checkups, you know this. Besides, Aiden's clinic is more private, and I like getting priority service," you replied, smug.

Kai sighed, "And here I was thinking that I was the only one getting that service. When you think you know someone." he tutted.

"Well, people surprise you." You couldn't help but bitterly think "Just like my mate did."

"But I know your news before Cass?" When you nodded, he did a celebratory fist pump. "I always knew I was your favourite. $5 for me, baby."

"Don't be silly, I love you Illyrian babies all equally. Wait, you guys bet on me?"

Kai snorted, choosing to ignore your latter comment, but the gleam in his bright blue eyes told you all you needed to know.

You just rolled your eyes. "When do you think I should tell the rest of our friends?"

Kai composed himself as he realised you were jumping back to serious conversation. He cleared his throat, and said, "Well, you want to tell them all together, right?"

When you nodded, he continued. "So, logically, unless you want to tell everyone while they're drunk playing board games, or drunk, dancing at Rita's, I'd say your best bet is at our group dinners, but you know, tell them early, so they're not too drunk." He gave a small smile.

"That's what I was thinking. Gods, when's the next dinner again?"

You counted what day of the week it was in your head. If you guys usually gathered for dinner on Fridays, but the Velaris Night Markets occurred on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays... but Thursdays were when Feyre and Rhys had their meetings (which you remembered Feyre had gone to that afternoon), it would mean that the next family dinner was...

"Tomorrow," Kai finished helpfully. "Friday."

"That's soon," you tried not to sound too panicked.

"Luckily you have me to help you then."

***

The Inner Circle sat around the grand dinner table in the beautifully adorned dining room of the Night Court. The soft glow of candlelight danced on their faces, creating an atmosphere of warmth and camaraderie. Feyre and Rhysand were engaged in a lighthearted banter, their eyes filled with affection, while Mor, Amren, and Cassian laughed along, their spirits high. Nesta had her hand on Cassian's shoulder, and Elain was talking with Nuala. Aiden and Kai were sitting across from you, Kai's eyes trying to meet your own. Tonight would be the big night.

As the conversation lulled, your heart pounded in your chest, your hands clammy with nerves. Taking a deep breath, you gathered your courage, your voice slightly shaky but resolute, and cleared your throat to gain everyone's attention. Feyre's eyes met yours with a flash of concern, then understanding. You sent her an unsure smile and nodded slightly, notifying her that you were ready to share the news with your family.

"I... um, I have something important to share with all of you," you began, your eyes flickering with a mix of vulnerability and determination. You looked towards Kai and Aiden; both of them looked ecstatic, and you could tell Kai was reigning in his emotions. The room fell into an expectant silence as every member of the Inner Circle turned their gaze towards you, their expressions a blend of curiosity and concern.

Your eyes darted around the table, locking with each person's gaze, drawing strength from their unwavering support. You continued, "I'm pregnant."

The room erupted in a cacophony of reactions. Cassian's jaw dropped; a half-chewed bite of food forgotten in his mouth. Rhysand, startled by the unexpected news, coughed and choked on his wine, while Feyre, caught between annoyance and concern, hit his shoulder. She caught your eye and sent you a look that apologised for Rhys' behaviour.

"He doesn't mean it like that!" she mouthed. For the first time in your life, you hoped your expression betrayed your thoughts. "I'm sorry", you were trying to convey. "I love you". Feyre nodded once and smiled, and you knew she understood.

Mor was the first one to say something. She let out an excited gasp, clapping her hands together. "Y/n, that's amazing! You're going to be a wonderful mother," she exclaimed, her eyes shining with genuine joy.

You felt everyone else's eyes on you. Amren had narrowed her eyes, and Varian was looking quite uncomfortable. Oh dear.

You felt a bittersweet mixture of relief and apprehension wash over you as you glanced around the table, searching for comfort amidst the tumultuous sea of emotions. Everyone looked pleased though, it seemed the extra 5 seconds of processing time had done wonders. Even Amren had a slight smile on her face now, and Varian looked less... strange.

Rhys, having gathered himself now, spoke next, a beaming smile on his face. "I'm so happy for you, y/n! You and Azriel deserve this. How'd he take the news?"

You hesitated, your eyes dropping to your plate, tracing the intricate patterns etched onto the fine China. You could feel the glances of Feyre, Aiden and Kai on you.

"I... uh.... haven't told him yet," and then there was silence in the room again.

The weight of your words was sinking in for your friends.

"I don't want to get into it now, and- and ruin our evening," you said, voice shaking slightly. Perhaps you'd already ruined the evening, if the heavy silence was any indication. "But we haven't exactly been on the best terms lately. We were fighting all up until he left, and I- I can barely feel the bond anymore. He hasn't written me back in a month.

With that bomb dropped, you looked up to the ceiling, blinking away tears.

"I'm scared."

Cassian, recovering from his initial shock, reached across the table, placing a comforting hand on your trembling one. "We're here for you, y/n," he reassured you, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth. "And when Az comes back, we'll figure it out together. You won't be alone in this. I can't believe it. You're pregnant." He finished with a joyous laugh.

Aiden chimed in, "We love you, y/n. As long as we're here, you don't have to do anything alone."

"You have the best support system possible; one that has been formed through years of hardship. No bond is stronger than this group bond, y/n." Kai continued. "Your pregnancy will be a beautiful thing."

Nesta spoke up next. "You can count on us for anything, y/n/n. I know you must have concerns, but now you don't have to carry them alone." You sent her a grateful smile, to which she returned.

"It'll fly by, the 10 months. Enjoy the process. Plus, you'll look great with the pregnancy glow." Feyre laughed.

Then Elain cleared her throat - daintily, if that was possible. "I'm happy for you too, y/n. Your child is lucky to have you as a mother, and... I know we're not too close, but you can count on me." She smiled; her cheeks rosy as all the attention turned to her.

You were in shock. That was the most you'd ever heard Elain speak, especially in front of everyone. You reached across the table and lightly put your hand on hers.

Surprisingly, Amren said, "You're in capable hands, y/n. It'll be such a joy having another Nyx around." The table chuckled at her sarcasm, but you knew she meant it with no malice.

"That means more than you could know. Thank you, everyone."

"You know how Azriel is. He may draw back, but he is always there for the ones he loves and trust me when I say you're on the top of his list." Mor said. "I don't know how he'll react to the news,"

Your smile dropped a little. Thanks for the confidence boost, Mor.

"But I know that every relationship has its ups and downs. You've been there for him since the day you arrived, and he's been there for you, too. I can promise you that this experience will only help the two of you grow closer." Mor's words were sincere.

As the Inner Circle rallied around you, offering support, reassurance, and a safe space to share your fears and uncertainties, you felt a flicker of hope ignite within you. Even Varian had bowed his head in respect. In that moment, you realized that you were not alone in your journey. With your loved ones by your side, you knew you had the strength and resilience to face whatever lay ahead. When the time came to reveal the news to Azriel, they would help you navigate the delicate path, giving you the support and courage, you needed.

And so, amidst the clinking of cutlery, the sound of Feyre's exasperated sigh as Cerridwen chased after Nyx (who'd run into the room looking for his mother), and the warm laughter that filled the House of Wind's dining room, you embraced the love and acceptance that you had received, finding solace in the knowledge that no matter the challenges you faced, you would never have to face them alone.

You tugged on the bond once again. Once. Twice.

And then you felt it. A pull from Azriel. Stronger than you'd felt in months.

***

"You guys really didn't have to plan all this," you smiled fondly at your friends, who insisted on throwing you a baby shower. Feyre later told you that she spent almost an hour explaining the mortal concept to Amren and Cassian, the latter thinking it was about hygiene. It had almost been 3 weeks since you told your friends at that fateful dinner, and they had embraced your news with love and kindness, just as Aiden, Feyre and Kai all insisted they would.

"Nonsense, y/n. You deserve the best baby bath achievable." Cassian beamed.

"Shower, Cassian." Feyre reminded him.

"I just showered," Cassian rolled his eyes. Nesta slapped his shoulder, and he quickly stopped his jokes when she gave him a kiss. You suppressed a snicker as you watched her. Cassian looked at her so lovingly, and Nesta, however annoyed she may be, always returned that look with equal fierceness.

You looked to your High Lord and Lady. Rhysand was sitting in a plush armchair, and Feyre was perched on his lap, his hand draped across her waist, fingers fiddling with a loose thread on her cream sweater. Nyx's addition to their family had only made them closer, and you could only pray that your little one could provide the same effect.

It was obvious to a total fool that Varian was irrevocably in love with Amren. His gaze was constantly on her, his eyes soft and longing, as if he knew something everyone else didn't. Amren rarely shared personal stories with the Inner Circle, but maybe she'd told the prince of Adriata something she hadn't yet shared with everyone else. You had a feeling Amren was going to find her eternal happiness with him. After all, he was here casually lounging with the Night Court's elite Inner Circle, wasn't he?

Then you looked to the pile of presents that your closest friends had prepared for you. The pink and blue streamers your friends had pinned around the room. Feyre said she was incorporating another tradition into this baby shower, something called a 'gender reveal', that she said was a celebration where loved ones of the mother gathered so she could make the gender of her child known. The room laughed as Rhys recited some adorable thing Nyx had done that morning, and for a second you were just lost in the haze. These wonderful people had chosen to spend time with you, and all vowed to support you.

The baby shower and gender reveal passed in a blur. It was just a mess of happy memories. You opened and accepted everyone's gifts (even the sharp "toy" Amren had gifted for "teething purposes". Perhaps Azriel would like that one.), and Nuala, Cerridwen and Elain had done an amazing job with the cake, which had either pink or blue frosting inside.

Since you wanted Aiden to keep the gender a secret, you had no idea what colour was in the cake either, and you were equal parts excited yet slightly nervous. If you thought hearing your baby's heartbeat made it real, celebrating this moment with your friends made it unreal. This was truly, really, definitely, happening.

You cut into the cake and it was...

"Pink!" you exclaimed. "Pink! She's a girl!"

Your friends whooped and cheered, Feyre rushed up to hug you, and Cassian immediately bobbed down to your stomach.

"A baby girl! Aw," he cooed. "Uncle Cass is going to spoil you!"

You laughed at Cassian, but he had lifted the mood tremendously. You couldn't believe it. You were having a girl, and you knew she would be perfect.

After the celebrations, Kai came and found you flipping through a photo album. It had detailed most of your and Azriel's relationship, and now there was a chapter all about your pregnancy.

"Thinking about him?" Malakai asked.

You smiled sadly, thinking about the huge milestone you had just celebrated without him. "I can't help it. I miss my mate." and sent another tug down the bond.

This time, it wasn't reciprocated. Something felt different, this time. You almost thought you heard a cry of pain.

***

“You know, maybe it would help to get out of here a little,” Cassian said one day at training. You were in the middle of sparring with him and Nesta, sweat dripping down your face, but you could tell they were going easy since the birth of your daughter only 5 weeks prior.

"Yeah, y/n,” Nesta smiled as she thrusted the dagger upward. "No harm in a holiday, you work so hard."

You stopped, mid-jab into where Cassian's shoulder would've been as you considered the idea. You hadn't left the Night Court for leisure in over three decades, and a small part of you did long to explore the other courts. Back when you and Az still talked of the future, the two of you had dreamed of holidaying in all the seven courts.

>>>>

"Do you ever think of the future?" you asked, playing with your mate's hair. Azriel paused his reading and thought.

He hummed softly, replying, "Of course, one with you."

You smiled, hands resuming their tousling of Azriel's hair, "I think one day I would like to travel. See all the places that the stories told me about when I was younger."

"That sounds perfect," Azriel replied, now fully sitting up and facing you. His book was discarded, and his hands were drifting up and down your arms. "I am content everywhere with you, but I hear the Winter and Summer courts are especially beautiful year-round."

You made a noise of happiness. "How much wine do you think we would need to buy Rhys for him to gift us one of his luxurious holiday homes in the Winter Court?"

Azriel's laugh ricocheted through the empty house, "My darling mate, I bet it's more wine than we can afford."

You laughed softly, "Well, I guess we better start saving. When I mend relations with Spring and Autumn, we must visit all the courts! Oh, just imagine it, Az."

Azriel's eyes softened. "Have I ever told you how much I admire you?"

You tilt your head, "You tell me every day, Az, but I think I admire you more." you said in a whisper, as if it were a secret, but how could it ever be, with a mate like Azriel?

Azriel smiled but shook his head. "Your job is amazing, y/n. Co-ordinating all these alliances, responding to our people's concerns and solving their problems. Velaris would really be nowhere without you."

You blush under Azriel's heated gaze, and say, "Well, someone's got to make the bribe money for Rhys' wine."

Azriel laughed deeply, the sound warming your soul. "Well, good thing I make up for my immense lack of income with other skills."

You watched the corner of Azriel's mouth curl up in a smirk. "Wouldn't you agree, my love? Or would you like a reminder?"

>>>>>>>>

When you named your daughter, you cried.

Cerise. Cerise Beatrice Singer.

Beatrice was your mother's name. A mortal name. She was half fae, as her mother was mortal. The courts gossiped for your entire childhood, from when you were six up until at least seventeen. They didn't even stop when she died. Seventeen was the year where you couldn't take it anymore. The year you finally left your 'family' and fled into the centre of Prythian. You travelled around from court to court for 2 years until one day, you arrived in the Night Court.

The people of your old village called her horrible names. They'd hiss at your mother as she walked across the street, throw all sorts of things at her. They were horrified that a mortal walked the streets of Prythian freely, no matter the fact she had never actually been in the Mortal Lands. No matter the fact she grew up the same as them. No matter the fact that she learnt the same faerie customs in the same faerie schools. No matter the fact that she grew up eating faerie food and wearing faerie-produced clothing.

No matter any of that.

Once, there was a rumour that you heard at school. People were saying your mother used witchcraft to lure herself a man "as great as that scum's father". You hid behind a wall, eavesdropping. The voices were muffled, the pitch all weird, but it was clear they were talking about you. Aiden was there with you. When he saw you were on the verge of tears, he told you to cover your ears and he hugged you tight. But even his hugs were never as tight as your mother's.

You are remembering thinking that you had never heard such foul language coming from 11-year-old children. You had dared a peek into the classroom, and when you saw the towering figures huddled, you realised. It was the teachers. The teachers using slurs and the teachers belittling the one woman who actually cared about you. About everything.

Decades from that day you thought of your past. You thought that, maybe it was true that once, your father had felt love for her. Beatrice bore him 4 children, after all. You knew your mother married him soon after meeting, and when she would brush your hair, back when you were young and the world was simple, she would tell you stories about how he courted her. Oh, how he courted her. Before the age of eight you used to wish for a love story like theirs. But as you grew up, it was plain to see that he felt nothing for her. In the end, one of your father's drunken rages had led to her death, and she died protecting you.

She cared for you when no one else did, in your family. Not your older siblings, and certainly not your father.

When you named your daughter, you cried.

Love and passion. That's what her name meant.

You were going to make sure love was all she felt from her family. Cerise was going to grow up with love. You loved her, your true family loved her, and Azriel would love her. You were sure.

Her raven hair was just like his, her eyes were like his too. Sometimes a piercing green, sometimes a calming brown. Beautiful, just like her father. She had your mouth though; Feyre had told you. When she smiled it was like the sun brightening the sky after a storm, and you had never seen anything better. She loved to laugh, her small eyes crinkling at the corners, her nose twitching. She was beautiful.

Cerise, she had wings. Small, baby Illyrian wings, but wings none the less. Wings like Azriel. Not wings like your father, but wings like Azriel. Majestic and powerful, with the ability to give what you had lacked; freedom.

>>>>>>>>

It had almost been 9 months since you told your friends at that fateful dinner, and they had spared no expense, treating you and Cerise like royalty.

Feyre could tell you were drained from your new motherly duties and said she would be happy to take care of your daughter for as long as you needed, but you had refused her offer.

"Oh no, Feyre, that's so kind," you smiled gratefully at your friend. "It's okay though, I will pick a place suitable for the both of us."

You had picked up Cerise from eager Auntie Mor's that morning and had decided. It was time for a holiday.

Feyre's eyes were scanning your face, waiting to pounce on any sign of hesitation. "Besides," you continued. "You have Nyx to think about!"

Upon hearing her son's name, Feyre beamed. "Yes! Oh y/n, I am so excited to have them grow up together." Her eyes softened. "It may seem hard now, but I know you'll be a great mother."

You reached for your friend and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Feyre. I learn from the best."

When you pulled back Feyre grasped your hands, grinning excitedly. "Now for the fun part. Let's pick a holiday destination; where are we sending you!"

Rhys walked in about an hour after you and Feyre decided to research to find Prythian's best Court for a vacation.

"How about the Day Court?" He suggested. "Helion loves you, and I'm sure both you and your daughter would enjoy the sunshine."

You looked at Feyre who was beaming.

"That sounds perfect."

That's how you ended up holding your daughter, watching as Helion - ever the show-off - had insisted you fly to the Day Court in his finest white carriage, led by the horses with manes of flame. When Rhys had heard about this plan, he just rolled his eyes, telling you that once, he had banned Helion from coming into the Night Court in that carriage, but Helion's loophole was to take you out of the Night Court in it.

"Go easy on the flying, okay? You have a post-partum mother and a baby on board," you said to Helion, only half-joking.

Helion raised one dark eyebrow at you in reply. "Of course. I promise you a mellow ride." He smiled and turned his attention back to his horses. A quick tug on the reigns from Helion, and the three of you were gone.

@ladyescapism 💗💗

edit: I ONLY JUST REALISED I DONT USE READ MORE OMLLLL

edit 2: WEDDING VOWELS LMFAO

[vgfm]

Predicting the Release of Deltarune Chapters 3, 4, and 5

a.k.a., “I spend way too much time analyzing a dev cycle that I do not fully understand and have no control over”

Undertale’s 8th anniversary has come and gone, and it’s left some fans feeling disappointed. I wasn’t expecting anything too major this year since the last three anniversaries were a bit of an anomaly. We’ve truly been spoiled to have gotten the Undertale concert, Chapter 2, and the Spamton Sweepstakes back-to-back-to-back. It’s easy to forget that the anniversaries before this were far more low-key affairs.

Even so, the 8th anniversary still felt a bit lacking. I had been hoping for a full status update post to the Deltarune website, but instead we got a much shorter update in the autumn newsletter. It’s true that we’ve gotten 3 other newsletters in the time since the 7th anniversary, and each has had tidbits of Deltarune news as well as their own share of fun extras. However, even all four newsletters combined seem to have less to say about Deltarune’s status than an annual update post usually does.

Fans who’ve been paying attention also seem a bit disappointed with the current progress of the game. Early status updates made it sound like Chapters 3, 4, and 5 were speeding along, while later ones make it sound like Chapter 3 has slowed to a crawl. I initially felt this way, but upon reflection I think this mindset is due to two main factors: (1) fans interpreting status updates overly optimistically, and (2) Toby sometimes using unclear language when describing the status of development.

I’ve poured over the recent newsletters, Deltarune’s past status updates, and Toby’s old tweets and interviews to get a better picture of how the game’s development is progressing. I also looked to the development of Chapters 1 and 2 to get an idea of what a completed chapter’s dev cycle looks like, and with that info I’ll try to piece together my best estimation for when Chapters 3 through 5 might finish.

Yes, I’ve hit peak hiatus brainrot and, like some others, I’ve run out of things to theorize about the game itself and now I’m trying to write a theory about game development, despite the fact that I have zero experience in game dev outside of making a couple of goofy low-effort mods. I want to emphasize that I’m doing this for fun and that I don’t want to rush Toby or his team—I’d like for Deltarune to take as long as it needs for the best result and for the team to not be overworked.

With all that said, before I can make a prediction, I must first break down my observations for each chapter’s development cycle so far. As mentioned, I’m pulling this info from newsletters, status updates, and Toby’s tweets and interviews. I won’t cite a source for every bullet point, but it’s not too hard to track down this information.

Note: Dates referred to here are release dates for products and status updates/posts. I’m aware that most major posts that Toby writes nowadays are made at least 1 month in advance due to the need for translation. To make things simple, I’m using the publishing dates instead of second-guessing the date of writing.

Chapter 1

Took roughly three years of total development time, from late 2015/early 2016 to October 2018

An unknown amount of early planning was done during and prior to Undertale’s development.

Toby and Temmie largely worked on this chapter alone

This chapter required creating the entire party-based battle system

This chapter required designing the entire Hometown and ensuring it would “set up” future events in the game properly

Except for composing some songs and writing the story, Toby didn’t work on any future chapters during Chapter 1’s development

My assessment is that this was almost certainly the hardest and most time-consuming chapter to develop. Toby had to create the game nearly from scratch with the fewest resources at his disposal. All future chapters benefited from using chapter 1 (and later 2) as a base and having things like Hometown already set up in advance

Chapter 2

Came out three years after Chapter 1, but Toby later said Chapter 2 only took 1.5 years of active development—beginning in May 2020 and releasing in September 2021. This 1.5 year period likely does not include planning and pre-production, since Toby tweeted about designing and writing parts of Chapter 2 prior to May 2020. However, this 1.5 year development period would include testing and other finishing touches.

The other 1.5 years prior to Ch 2’s full development were spent experimenting with other game engines, hiring team members, pre-production on Chapter 2, and planning future chapters of the story.

Toby finished outlining the rest of the game and writing most of the full game’s dialogue during and prior to Chapter 2’s development. Toby decided what all battles will be for Chapters 3 through 5 and most battles for the rest of the game. Toby also has all locations planned (in the form of text) for 3 through 5 at this time. This is all outlined in the 2020 status update.

After the first four months of active development, Toby guessed chapter 2 was 50-80% content-complete by the time of the Undertale 5th anniversary. He also projected that the game would be ready to enter beta testing by the end of 2020. 

Chapter 2 was in beta testing by April 2021 at the latest, since Toby tweeted about it at that time, so Chapter 2’s development phases can be broken down thusly:

Design (Pre-production; writing, planning, designing assets): Less than 1.5 years

Implementation (Active development; programming, graphics, creating battle assets and environments, music): 8-12 months

Finishing (testing, translating, polishing): 5-9 months

My assessment is that, although there was a 3-year time period leading up to both Chapter 1 and 2, it feels like Chapter 2’s development period got a lot more done. Toby has said that chapter 2 is the largest chapter in the game in many ways. Toby was working with a team starting with Chapter 2 and he was able to start planning and pre-production work on future chapters in the meantime, allowing for a much smoother start to Chapter 3’s development than chapters 1 and 2 had. Chapter 2’s release also seems to mark a shift in how Toby’s team structures their development phases, which I’ll go over in 3 through 5.

Chapters 3 through 5

Most early planning for chapters 3 through 5 was completed during chapter 2’s development, likely shortening the pre-production phase compared to previous chapters. However, Toby did mention in the 2022 update that “certain aspects” affecting 3 through 5 needed a while to set up. As of 2022, those “aspects” are now in place.

As of September of 2022, one year after Chapter 2’s release, Toby’s team is working on 3 through 5 in parallel and has already completed more than one chapter’s worth of “bullets, cutscenes, and gimmicks”. I will elaborate on this in a bit.

In March of 2023, Toby’s team is primarily focused on finishing Chapter 3. We can say for certain that Chapter 3 entered active development in early 2023 at the latest

As of September 2023, Chapter 3 is in a fully playable state from start to finish and is presumably ready for alpha/beta testing

Chapter 3 seems to mark a slight shift in the team’s production order for each chapter. Chapter 2’s phases were outlined in the 2020 update as three phases: Design, Implementation, and Finishing. Based on context clues from last year’s update and this year’s newsletters, chapters 3 through 5 seem to be following a modified four-phase workflow:

Phase 1 – Design – writing the story, planning the game, and assigning roles to team members. It’s hard to quantify how long this took with chapters 1 and 2, but the good news is that most of this phase was completed for future chapters during chapter 2’s development, according to the 2020 status update. The 2022 update does imply that there was still some set up required leading into chapters 3 through 5. This could be connected with the rumored engine changes to GameMaker to allow multiple games to be launched from a single launcher. Either way, this set up was finished before the 2022 update and be presumed to be done for all three chapters.

Phase 2 – Early Implementation – I’ve split implementation into two phases for reasons I’ll explain in the next phase, though these two halves likely overlap. I suspect this first half of implementation involves preparing dialogue for translation (which was previously done as a finishing step for Chapters 1 and 2) and creating assets in bulk to plug into the game later. This phase is likely when the “chapter’s worth of bullets, cutscenes, and gimmicks” mentioned in the 2022 update was created. Later newsletters imply that Chapter 3’s locations were in an earlier state of development than many fans expected, so I think Toby has artists and programmers design enemies, puzzles, and cutscenes in advance before areas are created to put them into. Chapter 3 seems to have completed the early implementation phase. Chapter 4 has had a significant chunk of this phase complete, based on the 2022 update, and currently 4 and 5 both seem to be in this phase, as of June 2023.

Phase 3 – Full Implementation – This consists of programming game world locations and assembling the full structure of the game. I believe this can be treated as a separate phase from the early implementation because (1) Toby mentioned in the 2020 update that he doesn’t draw map designs until the team starts programming, (2) Chapter 2’s maps had only just been started when its cutscenes, songs, bullet patterns, and other assets were nearly finished in 2020, and (3) Chapter 3 seemed to be early in this phase in 2023, despite more than a chapter’s worth of assets being created in 2022. Chapter 3 recently finished this phase, and chapters 4 and 5 likely haven’t gotten far in this phase or reached it yet. All implementation for Chapter 2 lasted between 8 and 12 months. It’s likely this will take less time per chapter for 3 through 5 due to Toby saying Chapter 2 was the longest in the game and Toby having more resources available to complete early implementation on 4 and 5 while 3 undergoes full implementation and the next step:

Phase 4 – Finishing – This is presumably the same as Chapter 2’s finishing phase, only with translation likely occurring earlier in the process, per the March 2023 newsletter. Chapter 3 recently entered this phase. This phase took anywhere from 5 to 9 months for chapter 2, depending on when that chapter entered beta.

Conclusions

Overall, we know that chapters 3 through 5 are using Chapter 2 as a base, Toby has a larger team and more resources available to him than ever before, and Chapters 3 through 5 are being developed in parallel. Chapters 3 through 5 also had the advantage of having most of their planning and design taken care of during Chapter 2’s development cycle. To reiterate, Chapter 2’s development ended up like this:

Design: Less than 1.5 years

Implementation: 8-12 months

Finishing: 5-9 months

Based on what we’ve heard regarding chapter 3, I think we can extrapolate the following timeline for Chapters 3 through 5 so far:

Design: FINISHED (all chapters). Less than 1 year – I’m not counting the design work on 3 through 5 that was already completed before Chapter 2 released. The 2022 update did hint at some form of set up or planning affecting 3 through 5 that had been resolved by September 2022—this makes one year of design the maximum possible amount in this development cycle, though it was likely considerably less

Early Implementation: FINISHED (Ch 3), IN-PROGRESS (4&5). 6-17 months – The 17 months figure is from adding up the year between the 6th and 7th anniversaries and ending at the March 2023 newsletter, when finishing chapter 3 was announced as now being the team’s main focus; this assumes that early production began as soon as Chapter 2 released and that priorities didn’t shift to Chapter 3 until right when the March newsletter came out. The 6 month figure is assuming that most of 2022 was spent on design and resolving the “factors” that affected 3 through 5, which is highly unlikely. We know that early implementation assets were worked on for chapters 3 and 4 simultaneously in 2022, and it’s likely that Chapter 3 alone would have taken less than a cumulative year at this stage. Extrapolating from where things were in 2022, I’d guess Chapters 4 and 5 are at least halfway done with this phase cumulatively.

Full Implementation: FINISHED? (Ch 3). 6-12 months – I base the 12 month figure off of the idea that focus switched to Chapter 3 immediately after the 2022 update and I base the 6 month figure off of the March 2023 newsletter being the point where focus shifted. Chapter 3 became fully playable in September 2023, marking a probable end date for this phase

Finishing: IN-PROGRESS? (Ch 3). Unknown. This could match the 5-9 months for Chapter 2. It’s also possible that 4 and 5 could move onto full implementation while 3’s playtesting takes place, since the latter can rely on people outside the team playing the game while members of the team are freed up to work on other things. Bumping up translation earlier in the pipeline might also shave some time off this phase.

The Prediction

Overall, I’m reasonably certain that Chapter 3 will be completely done within the next 6 months, barring some unforeseen difficulties. Game development can be unpredictable, so anything’s possible (especially delays). Toby has remarked on how strange chapter 3 is and he’s implied that some segments have had to be removed or cut down, so it’s possible this chapter was a lot more experimental and needed more time.

I’d say chapter 4 is, bare minimum, halfway through early implementation. More likely, I think it’s nearing the end of early implementation. I say this because having more than a chapter’s worth of assets completed in 2022 meant that not all of that was for chapter 3, and 2022’s update made it sound like 3 and 4’s progress was roughly neck-and-neck at the start of this phase—hence, half a chapter’s worth of assets done for 4. Obviously focus has shifted to chapter 3, but Toby did reiterate that assets are still being made for 4 and 5 during the summer newsletter, so it’s likely 4 has the majority of this phase done and 5 has made some progress.

Where do I think we’ll be in a year? The optimist in me would like to say that all three chapters will be done by next September, but I’m honestly doubtful. I think a more likely scenario is that 3, 4, and 5 will release sometime between the 2024 and 2025 anniversaries. If we’re lucky, then end of 2024 or early 2025. I think the best case scenario would be that Chapter 3 wraps up around the end of this year (or final testing frees up the team to focus on 4 by then) with Chapter 4 ready to have its maps created immediately afterwards (or already started). Chapter 4 would then enter testing in early-to-mid 2024, with chapter 5 following a few months after to be ready just in time at the end of the year.

I know it may sound bleak to some to be willing to wait another 1-2 years, but keep in mind that this pace is still much faster than what development has been so far. In six years we got two chapters of Deltarune. With my estimate, we’d be getting three chapters in 3-4 years. Chapter 2 took 1.5 years of dedicated development time, plus pre-production, whereas 3 through 5 seem poised to take less time per chapter. I predict that chapters 4 and 5 will go more smoothly, partly because they seem to be more “standard” chapters but also because the groundwork is already being laid for them while 3 is being finished. It took less than a year for Chapter 3 to go from a pile of assets to an assembled and test-ready game. At that pace, it wouldn’t take much longer for 4 and 5 to both bridge that gap—the only extra time will come from finishing up early implementation on 4 and 5 as well as testing each chapter.

I don’t have much else to say in terms of predictions, but I did write up a big timeline of Deltarune (and Undertale’s) development while making this post. I was originally going to put it at the beginning, but it was hard to parse and contained some redundant information. On top of that, Tumblr messed up the formatting so it may be a little hard to read.

Instead of placing the timeline front and center, I’m including it below for all you truck freaks out there who want to know where I pulled various dates from, or if you’ll just read anything Deltarune-related. For everyone else, this post is basically over now. Bye!

Timeline

2011

Toby is first inspired to make Deltarune from a dream (according to interviews)

2012

Toby attempts to create a Deltarune-like project but abandons it before creating Undertale

2013

May 23 - Undertale demo is released

2014

Toby develops Undertale and continues creating Deltarune concept art on the side (according to 2018 tweet). Toby also teases Deltarune’s existence on the Undertale Kickstarter at some point between 2013 and 2015

2015

September 15 – Undertale releases on PC and Mac

Toby creates and updates the Deltarune.com website between 2015 and 2016. Development on Deltarune chapter 1 likely begins in earnest in late 2015 or early 2016

2016

July 17 – Undertale releases on Linux

2017

August 15 – Undertale releases on PS4 and PS Vita

September 15 – Undertale 2nd Anniversary. Toby releases early draft of alarm clock dialogue. First mention of Rudy Holiday

2018

September 18 – Undertale releases on Switch

October 31 – Deltarune Chapter 1 releases on PC

According to Toby’s Twitlonger, Chapter 1 was content-complete “a little while” prior to October 4th and was still being translated as of the 4th. This implies that, during Chapter 1’s development, translation was one of the final steps. According to Toby, Chapter 1 took “a few years” to create. At this time he says 7 years is the maximum time he’d be willing to spend on a project. Toby announces his intent to release all remaining chapters at once. It’s implied that Toby created chapter 1 mostly on his own, with art by Temmie. He mentions wanting to hire a team for the rest of the game. Toby mentions that Chapter 1 needed to create the entire Hometown “correctly on the first try” in order to “set up properly for the rest of the game,” likely adding to development time. Toby says that apart from creating some songs and writing the whole story, he hasn’t completed any work on the other chapters at this point. Specifically, no programming or final art has been done.

According to later statements by Toby, he and his team will spend the next two years writing, composing, designing, and drawing content for future chapters

2019

February 28 – Deltarune chapter 1 releases on Switch and PS4

March – Early development on future chapters begins, but “99%” of the work at this time is spent on investigating alternative game engines to GameMaker. During this period, Toby continues planning the game and writing its story

April 18 – Toby tweets that he’s “making great progress designing Chapter 2” and posts concept art, indicating that the chapter is still in early development

June 12 – Toby tweets that he has “about 50” songs past Chapter 1 in various stages of completion, compared to Chapter 1’s 40 songs. He also mentions that he’s currently writing and drawing bosses, bullets, cutscenes, and characters for future chapters

July 5 – Toby reiterates via tweet that he plans to release all remaining chapters at the same time

September 15 – Undertale’s 4th anniversary and Deltarune Chapter 2 status update

Toby reveals annoying dog in toy car sprite from Chapter 2. Toby posts early versions of the songs Lost Girl and Welcome to the City. Toby posts concept art of Susie’s angry reaction to Noelle looking at her tail. Overall, Toby says the design of the game is going “really well” but that other aspects are “facing some hurdles”. This seems to imply that Chapter 2 is still in early development at this point.

2020

Around March or April, Toby experiences severe wrist pain that slows down his ability to develop the game

“A few months” prior to August/September, Toby completes readable outlines for every chapter in the game, including first-pass dialogue for almost all cutscenes. All major events and battles that will take place are now known. Toby also decides around this time to go back to GameMaker as the engine of choice for the full game

May – Deltarune chapter 2 begins full development, using Chapter 1 as a base

September 15 -  Undertale’s 5th anniversary concert and Deltarune Chapter 2 status update

Toby reveals he’s now working on a team with four full-time members (including himself) and other part-time members. Toby is designer and programmer. He also proposes hiring more people to work on Chapters 3 and beyond. Toby believes that Chapter 2, content-wise, will be done before the end of 2020 (not accounting for translation, bugtesting, and porting). This likely meant that, by the end of 2020, Chapter 2 was in an alpha or beta state where it could be played through from beginning to the end. Toby estimates that Chapter 2’s design/early development phase is 100% done. Toby estimates Chapter 2’s art is 90% done, Cutscenes are 80% done, Bullet patterns are 70%, other battle elements (ACTs) are 30%, audio is 80%, “other”/misc content is 65%. Chapter 2’s maps are mostly started or placeholder but with all NPC interactions completed. Toby reveals that he doesn’t draw his map designs until his team starts programming. Chapter 2’s balancing/bugfixing/translation/porting are all 0% done. Overall Toby suggests that Chapter 2 is between 50% and 80% done. Toby makes a distinction between Chapter’s 2 development and the development of remaining chapters. He also says that the game will be released in “many Chapters,” perhaps implying he was already reconsidering his goal of releasing all chapters at once at this time. Toby describes Chapters 3 and onward as having story and progression 100% done, cutscene dialogue 95% done. Ch 3+ Textual map design is 70% done overall and earlier chapters 100% done. “Earlier chapters” likely means 3 through 5. Drawn map design is 0% done. Ch 3+ enemy conceptual design is 90% done and bosses are 100% done. Enemy bullet designs are 80% done overall and 100% done in earlier chapters. Ch 3+ music concepts are 95% done, completed music is 50% done. Ch 3+ background concepts (first-pass) are 75% done. Ch 3+ bosses (first-pass) are 100% done. Ch 3+ sprite art is 20% done.

November 23 – Toby tweets the giant toilet from Chapter 2

2021

March 16 – Undertale releases on Xbox One

April 17 – Toby tweets about a friend playing the beta version of Chapter 2, confirming the game was in beta and undergoing playtesting around or prior to this time

July 20 – Toby tweets again about another friend playing the Chapter 2 beta

September 15 – Undertale 6th anniversary, Deltarune Chapter 2 announced

September 17 – Deltarune Chapter 2 is released

Toby’s team has expanded since the last status update and he considers expanding the team a little more. Toby says Chapter 2 was the biggest chapter in the game in many ways, including by cutscene count. Toby confirms changing his mind about releasing all chapters at once. Instead, Chapters 1 through 5 will be bundled together as a paid release once 3, 4, and 5 finish development.

September 23 – Deltarune Chapter 2 released on Switch and PS4

September 24 – Toby confirms in an interview that Chapter 2’s development took 1.5 years. This would line up with development starting in earnest around May 2020. Toby also confirms that chapter 2’s programming was handed over to another member of the team due to Toby’s wrist injury. Toby is now working as director on the project.

2022

February 9 – Toby posts concept art of future chapters

May 17 – Toby posts more concept art and mentions he’s gotten more people to help with development

September 15 – Undertale 7th anniversary

Toby’s team is simultaneously working on chapters 3, 4, and 5. Toby confirms more people have joined the team and the pace of creation has improved from Chapter 2. Most work completed has been for Chapters 3 and 4. Between 3, 4, and 5, the team has created more than one chapter’s worth of bullets, cutscenes, and gimmicks (likely meaning puzzles). Toby mentions 3, 4, and 5 having “certain aspects” that took a while to set up but are now in place, which will make development go smoother. Toby releases screenshots and songs from chapters 3 and 4.

September 17 – The Spamton Sweepstakes

November 17 – Toby announces Undertale/Deltarune mailing list

December 19 – The first Undertale/Deltarune newsletter is delivered

Toby says “the end is in sight” for some of the content in Chapter 3, but is very vague overall.

2023

March 30 – The second newsletter is delivered

The team’s main focus is completing Chapter 3. Translation for chapter 3 is close to starting. Based on what we know from later updates, it seems that translation is beginning sooner for these chapters than it did for chapters 1 and 2.

June 29 – The third newsletter is delivered

The team is still focusing on Chapter 3, but a few people are working on bullet patterns and puzzles for later chapters. The team is creating the final overworld area for Chapter 3, which is the last thing to complete before Chapter 3 is fully playable from start to finish (i.e., entering an alpha/beta state). Toby mentions how chapter 3 is an unusual chapter and implies it may have been harder to work on than a typical chapter. He also says Chapter 4 will be a “much more standard chapter”.

September 14th – The fourth newsletter is delivered

Chapter 3 is now playable from start to finish and is (presumably) undergoing testing and polish.

[badbatchposts]

Quiet Corners of the Galaxy, Chapter 5

While on a routine mission for Cid, the Bad Batch encounter a woman fleeing from the Empire. Crosshair suspects her seemingly free-spirited, nomadic existence is actually a cover for something else, but struggles to keep his attraction toward her in check as their personalities and ideals clash.

Relevant tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut (not for a few chapters still), Canon-Typical Violence

Chapters posted 1-2x weekly!

Read the full fic so far on AO3

Read previous chapters on Tumblr: Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4

Chapter 5 summary: The Batch arrives back on Ord Mantell, where Crosshair keeps an eye on Dara. We find out where Omega has been these last few chapters.

By the time they arrived on Ord Mantell, Dara had succeeded in sharing sips of the grassy beverage with every member of the squad but Crosshair, chatting openly, even charmingly, with each one of them. They were regaled with languid observations of her time on Endor and other planets she’d encountered in her years traveling, many of which they had never visited themselves—she had, understandably, avoided the war-torn planets they were most familiar with. Dara seemed, for all intents and purposes, to be a solitary nomad with no occupation, just brief stints of day labor wherever she could get it passing through. She met people; she worked in markets and ran errands for shopkeepers; she helped with harvests; she spent months alone on uninhabited moons, living out of her ship and watching the stars. Her blasters, she claimed, were for protection, not only from seedier elements in the cities she traversed, but bandits and creatures. She liked traveling alone, she said, but there were dangers, too.

When the hatch opened in their usual landing bay, Tech assessed Dara’s injuries with one final scan. “The symptoms associated with your concussion appear to have subsided. However, you will likely continue experiencing some pain elsewhere for several more hours.”

She rose slowly, still limping a little as she tested the feeling in her leg and hip. “I really can’t thank you all enough.”

Wrecker, the friendliest among them, seemed a little disappointed to see her go. “Hey, come find us if you need anything!”

She brightened a little. “Of course, big guy! Maybe I can buy you all a drink to show my appreciation. Hope I see you around.” With that, she turned and made her way out of the bay, disappearing into the crowded streets of Ord Mantell as they watched from the top of the ramp.

“She’s lying,” Crosshair insisted immediately.

He expected pushback from his brothers, so he was surprised when Hunter agreed. “Oh, yeah. She’s pretty good. Most of the time her heart didn’t even stutter a little. Maybe she was even telling the truth sometimes. But the shuttle…that’s not what happened. I don’t even think she was on Takodana.” Crosshair admitted to himself, begrudgingly, that he should have known his brother wouldn’t be so easily duped. Hunter’s enhanced senses gave him a unique insight into the subtle bodily tells that would have betrayed her efforts to bury the truth.

“Indeed. While the majority of the information that she provided regarding her travels was accurate, her timeline for her visits for at least the past year most certainly was not. For example, Boonta Eve is not celebrated on Tatooine during the period that she claimed to be living there,” Tech contributed.

Hunter nodded decisively. “Crosshair, keep an eye on her. There could be a lot of reasons she’s lying, but she knows we work out of Ord Mantell now, so we should at least try to find out if she’ll be a problem for us.”

Crosshair wasted no time before deftly scaling the sides of the landing bay to track her from the rooftops. He spotted her quickly, her silver hair bobbing among the crowd as she made her way down the street. There was a determination in her step despite the ongoing limp, her earlier attitude of carefree traveler gone as she navigated the city like an expert. She did not stop to inquire at the spaceport about shuttles that could take her to her next destination, instead marching block after block, occasionally doubling back deliberately while scanning the crowd, peering at the shop signs as if looking for something. Finally, she entered what appeared to be a curio shop, exiting twenty minutes later.

Leaping easily from rooftop to rooftop, the sniper tailed the mysterious woman all through the afternoon, watching as she paused at market stalls, chatted with vendors, and ducked into innocent-looking stores. Any purchases she made within view appeared to be innocent: resupplies for her camp kit and other necessities for a nomadic existence, all of which the Bad Batch was deeply familiar with from their years at war and their fugitive lives since. Once, Crosshair witnessed her deftly catch the wrist of a pickpocket as the youth brushed against her, giving him a stern look before he could get his sticky fingers on any of her credits, but otherwise letting him go unharmed and without protest. She occasionally turned down dead-end alleys, only to duck into a doorway and wait a few beats before returning the way she had come.

Whatever she was doing, she was cautious about not being followed. Of course, he was no ordinary observer.

The sun was beginning to set by the time Crosshair gave up his pursuit. He made his way to Cid’s parlor, scowling at the familiar neon sign on his way in, removing his helmet and sticking a toothpick in his mouth as he entered. The rest of the squad had delivered the goods to Cid and were huddled around a table, drinks in hand. They looked at him expectantly as he threw himself down in a seat.

“She’s experienced at evading a tail and didn’t even bother to ask at the spaceport about shuttles, but other than that nothing out of the ordinary,” Crosshair reported. “Mostly restocked on supplies all afternoon. Standard stuff, except for a trip to an antique store. I couldn’t see if she bought anything there.”

Cid, who was lurking about nearby with a sponge—cleaning what, Crosshair didn’t know, since the place was as filthy as always—narrowed her beady, reptilian eyes. “What kind of antique store?” she asked suspiciously.

Attentive and thorough as always, Crosshair had memorized the name of every shop she had entered. “Old Ord Salvage.”

“Huh.” The Trandoshan looked intrigued. “Where’d you say you picked up that girly?”

Echo’s eyes darkened a little, betraying his distaste for their employer. “Why? You know something?” he asked.

Cid’s face returned to its usual expression of contempt. “Jeez, you boys are lucky you have me to keep up with things for you. Old Ord Salvage is a front. There’s a back room where smugglers and other shady characters—such as yourselves—can use their sub-space communications set-up to send long-range transmissions without the Imperial authorities picking up on them.”

“Well. Dara did, in fact, hijack a shuttle, then flee from and kill several Imperial stormtroopers. It stands to reason that she would seek to remain off the Empire’s radar,” Tech considered pragmatically.

Crosshair shook his head, frowning. “She went straight there immediately after she left us. She already knew about where it was and how to access it. This isn’t the first time she’s had to avoid the Empire—she has experience. We should leave Ord Mantell—she can connect us to it, it’s compromised.”

“I don’t think so, skinny,” Cid interrupted. “You lot have work to do. The next few jobs I have lined up are time sensitive.”

Seeing Crosshair open his mouth to reply, Hunter stepped between the two of them decisively, avoiding whatever violent threat the sniper was about to make toward their employer. “She’s right. We’ll ask Rex to see if he can find out any info on Dara from his contacts. Just so we know if she’s someone we have to worry about or not. In the meantime, we’ll keep an eye out. I have to go contact Omega and let her know we’ll be a little while longer while we finish these next jobs for Cid.”

Wrecker seemed disappointed to hear they wouldn’t be heading back to Pabu soon. “Aww. The kid’s not gonna be happy,” he lamented. When they had left Omega, they had expected to complete one quick job before they returned. Now they would be apart from their sister for weeks—although she understood that the extra credits they were scrounging up would help fund Rex’s rebel clone network.

Hunter sighed. “I know. I miss her too. But it’s good for her to be around friends her own age, for a while, anyway. We’ll go back to pick her up soon.” The sergeant got up, making his way toward the parlor’s back rooms to make his calls. Crosshair stalked after him.

“I don’t like this,” he murmured unhappily.

Hunter was thoughtful. “I don’t much like it either. But whoever Dara is, it’s clear she’s no friend to the Empire. There can’t be too much to worry about.” He gave his brother a comforting pat on the shoulder before exiting, leaving the sniper chewing unhappily on his toothpick in the dingy bar.

[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Nobody's Fool: Chapter 17

Pairing: EddieXReader

Summary: You have bartended for years after you were forced to drop out of college due to family circumstances. You have dated your fair share of musicians, had your heart broken by one particular one, and have learned they are not be trusted. You have sworn off of them for the rest of your life. Then, one night, a new band plays at the bar, and against your better judgement, you can't help noticing the lead singer and guitar player. Could he possibly be different from the ones who came before him?

Warnings: 18+ Only due to eventual smut and language. There is also a toxic family relationship with a narcissistic mother if that is triggering for you.

MasterList

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28

You had been working hard to avoid Sebastian for the last few hours. He kept lingering, popping up unpleasantly like a bill collector you’ve been avoiding for days. He was relentless, sending lude sexual comments your way or taking another shot at trying to remind you about how good you were together. Yeah, so good together that he had to find other people to fulfill his sexual needs. You were not falling for his shit again. He’d made you look like an idiot once and that was more than enough. You would walk past him, ignoring him, heading to a table or back behind the bar or into the storeroom, anything to get as far from him as possible. 

You had even gone so far as to send the blonde from earlier after him, hoping he would lose interest in you at the prospect of an easy lay he didn’t have to work that hard for. It worked for about fifteen minutes before he was back to lurking around, watching you. It was infuriating, trying to work as he just followed with his eyes, waiting for a chance to ambush you again.

You weren't sure how you would have responded if Sebastian had walked in here a couple months ago. Would you have tried to give him a second chance? You hoped not. But now? You knew all too well what a good guy actually looked like. Eddie was a good guy, and while you were still terrified of your feelings, of putting yourself out there again, you weren't willing to risk whatever it was you had with Eddie for this guy that you knew was a piece of shit. 

This thing with Eddie scared the hell out of you because you knew you were diving right off the side of the cliff with no parachute. You were heading straight for the ground at a rapid pace, about to shatter every bone in your body in a painful crash. How long would it take for him to get bored of you? How long until he looked around and realized he could do so much better than you? How long before he realized you just weren't worth all of the effort?

“You want me to punch him for you?” Joey asked, breaking through your thoughts. 

“No,” you sighed. “Really? You’re going to try to take him on? I love you Joey, but he’s got like six inches on you. I don’t need you getting hurt.”

Sebastian was no joke. He stood at six foot two, another trait that lended itself to him resembling a Greek God. He was muscular, not in a bulky bodybuilder way, but in a lean, toned kind of way. You had seen him in fights before when he was drunk and somebody was running their mouth, and you had never seen him lose one.

“I think I could take him,” Joey countered, sounding a bit hurt at your lack of faith in him.

“Maybe you could,” you agreed, “but it wouldn’t help anything and it would only create a problem for John. I don’t need you to lose your job for me. I just need to get through the next ten minutes so he can go away.”

The bar was closing down. Last call was twenty minutes ago. The patrons were slowly making their way out, the lack of drinks ending their fun for the night. You began wiping down the tables and stacking chairs, your body relaxing, every muscle loosening, now that you had made it. Sebastian would be heading out with his band and out of your eyesight. Hopefully out of your life for good this time.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed yours, spinning you around. Two arms crushed you against a rock hard body as lips you knew intimately found yours. Shock coursed through you at the sudden intrusion to your mind and body. You tried to bring your hands up to push him away from you, but his strong arms were pinning yours down at your sides.

Out of nowhere, the body holding yours was suddenly yanked away. You opened your eyes, just in time to see Eddie’s fist connecting with Sebastian’s jaw. Sebastian staggered back, surprise registering on his face at the attack. He stared at Eddie in fury and then launched himself, grabbing Eddie around the waist and tackling him to the ground.

“Shit!” John yelled as he came running over. “Guys, knock it off!”

You shook the shock off and ran forward, trying to help John pull them apart. You reached out but a flailing hand connected with your eye and you shrieked, falling back to the ground. Joey leapt over the bar, running to your side to see if you were okay.

“I’m fine, just…goddamn it!” you screamed. 

A couple of the guys from the plant, big guys, grabbed Eddie and Sebastian in bear hugs, lifting them away from each other. Both of them looked insane, their eyes wild with rage, their hair looking like they had stuck their fingers in electrical sockets. 

“You boys need to calm down!” John yelled. “I’m not going to have brawls in my bar. You want to keep this up, then you take it outside.”

“Gladly,” Eddie growled.

“Anytime,” Sebastian hissed.

“Fuck, both of you knock it off!” you yelled, getting back to your feet, still holding your eye.

Eddie glanced at you, suddenly realizing that you were hurt, eyes that had been dark with rage softening in concern. “Shit, are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” you shrieked. “Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“You were kissing him!” he yelled.

“I was not kissing him! He was kissing me!” you yelled back.

“Ahh…so this is who you got to replace me?” Sebastian sneered. “Really, dollface? This Eddie Van Halen knockoff? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Who the hell are you?” Eddie demanded.

“He’s my ex,” you explained quietly.

“Your ex?” he questioned, understanding registering on his face. 

“Yeah,” Sebastian smirked, moving to you and slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Feeling nervous? I sure would be if I were my competition.”

“Shut up,” you shouted, shoving his arm away from you. “Seriously, get your fucking ego in check. Sebastian, just get the hell out of here.”

“You don’t mean that,” he argued, attempting his pouty lip again and you wanted to punch him this time. “Come on. You can’t be serious about choosing this dirtbag over me.”

“Dirtbag!?” Eddie yelled. “I’m guessing you’re the dick that is the reason she…”

“Jesus Christ! Everyone just shut up!” you yelled, desperate to stop Eddie from saying whatever it was that he was going to say. “Sebastian, seriously, just get the fuck out of here!”

Sebastian tried to argue but John stepped in, telling him he needed to leave before the cops were called. He complained, grumbling the entire way out about how he was the one who had been attacked. You felt relief flood through your body when the door closed and he was finally gone.

“Sweetheart, you know I love you, and I’m sorry I may have initiated all of this by allowing him to play,” John said, “but you need to get your boyfriends in check. I can’t have this shit in my bar.”

“Yeah, I know,” you sighed, pressing your fingers against your forehead, a throb working its way from your eye to the back. 

“You okay?” Joey asked.

“I’ll be fine,” you insisted, placing your hand on his arm. “Thank you. Do you think you could give me a ride home?”

“Of course.”

“Whoa,” Eddie interjected. “I thought I was giving you a ride home.”

“That was before you acted like a giant brute and came in here swinging!” you yelled. 

“Seriously?” he argued. “I walked in here and saw some blonde titan making out with you in the middle of the bar. What exactly was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” you said, “maybe take a moment to assess the situation before fists start flying!”

“Assess the situation? I did assess the situation and I assessed that my girlfriend was kissing another dude! Forgive me for getting upset.”

“Girlfriend?” you asked in shock. Your brain was struggling to process that word. “Since when did we decide I was your girlfriend? I don’t remember that conversation! And I wasn’t kissing him! He grabbed me and kissed me!”

“I assumed you were my girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for a month. I didn’t know we had to officially state it,” Eddie explained. “And that’s all the more reason he deserved to be punched!”

“I can handle myself,” you seethed, glaring at him. “I’ve been handling him all night!”

“Oh, have you?” Eddie asked, his tone cold.

“Jesus, that’s nice,” you muttered. “I was avoiding him all night because I’m with you! I told him to go away. I told him to leave me alone. If you would have waited five goddamn seconds, you would have seen me bite his goddamn lip until it bled and tell him to fuck off. He cheated on me. He broke my heart. I am not interested in going down that road with him again.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know? You never want to tell me anything!” Eddie yelled. “I only know what I know about you because you’ve been forced to share. Trying to get to know you is like trying to invade fucking Mordor! Every time I get close, an army attacks and puts up new goddamn defenses and I have to find a whole different strategy! It’s, quite honestly, fucking exhausting.”

You paused, his words twisting something deep inside of you. “Well, if I’m so exhausting, then I’ll be more than happy to give you a break.”

“Whoa! Whoa! That’s not what I mean,” he said quickly, his tone taking on an edge of panic. “I don’t want a break. Look, this situation got out of control. Will you please just come with me back to my place so we can talk?”

You glanced from Eddie to Joey who had been watching your back and forth with rapt attention. His eyes were wide as he looked at you. 

“I can take you home if you want,” he offered.

You were so damn tired. This might go down as the longest night of your entire life. You weren't sure you had it in you to have some long conversation with Eddie. You also knew he wasn’t wrong. You did your best to still keep him at arm’s length whenever you could because as much as you liked him, you couldn’t stop that little fear that he was going to decide you weren't good enough one day. Maybe you owed it to him. 

“It’s fine,” you sighed. “I’ll go with Eddie.” Eddie’s face lit up. “But I’m telling you, I am exhausted and my eye hurts and I don’t have the energy to fight it out. Can we please just go back to your place and sleep and talk in the morning?”

“Whatever you want,” he said with a smile, walking over to you. His hand grabbed your hips, pulling you against him. “Can I at least hold you?”

You rolled your eyes, secretly pleased but not wanting to show it. 

“You’re hopeless,” you muttered softly, shaking your head.

_____________________________________________________________

The next morning, you and Eddie sat in his backyard with cups of coffee. He had stuck to his word. When they got to his place, he had gotten you some ice for your eye. You had helped him clean up a cut over his eyebrow and one above his lip. Then you had gone to bed, him holding you close, and you had slept like a damn baby wrapped in his arms. 

Now, you sat in two lawn chairs, you in a pair of his sweats and a Radiohead tee that he had let you borrow, him in his boxers and a Metallica tee. He looked so goddamn adorable when he woke up, his hair all over the place, his eyes heavy with sleep still. He had a bruise on his cheek and his lip was slightly puffy, but it didn’t detract from how gorgeous he was. You had quite a shiner this morning, which he had apologized for over and over, but you weren't even certain who had hit you. Nobody had meant to. 

“So, you want to tell me about him?” he asked, leaning forward in his chair, cupping his mug in his hands. 

No, you really didn’t. You didn’t want to relive it at all, let alone share it with him. You had been an idiot, and you didn’t want Eddie to know how you had allowed Sebastian to make a fool out of you. But you knew you owed him an explanation after last night.

“He was my boyfriend,” you shrugged. “We dated for about nine months. I thought he loved me. I was clearly wrong. He cheated on me with some chick. I walked in on them and we broke up.”

“Okay, well that was a very short summary,” Eddie sighed, leaning back. 

“I mean, what do you want me to say?” you asked with a shrug. “He tricked me. I allowed it. I was an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Eddie stated. “Look, we’ve all trusted the wrong people. It’s easy to do when you’re in love with somebody. We get blinded by our feelings for them and we miss all of the signs that something’s not right. We assume the best about them when they don’t deserve it. That doesn’t make you an idiot. Shit, that just makes you human, princess.”

“I guess,” you muttered, hugging your knees into your chest, your chin resting on top. “I was so in love with him. I mean, I thought he was it for me. I pictured our future together. He was my everything, and then I walked in and he was pile driving some redhead on the bed he and I shared. He told me he loved me and he only wanted a relationship with me but that he needed variety when it came to sex. He wanted me to understand that. He might sleep around but he would always come home to me.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Eddie grumbled. “What the hell kind of relationship is that?”

“That’s what I thought. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk around, knowing he could be screwing any random girl at any time. Maybe I’m a prude or something, I don’t know, but I don’t want to share my guy with others.”

“You’re not a prude. When two people truly love each other, that should be enough.”

“Maybe, I don’t know,” you sighed.

“Do…do you still love him?” Eddie asked, his voice hesitant, possibly even a little nervous.

“I did for a long time,” you softly mumbled. “I was a mess for weeks after I found him with that girl. If it weren’t for Jen, I probably would have lost my job. She kicked me in the ass and refused to let me wallow for too long. John was amazing. I hadn’t shown up to work for a week, but he knew what had happened. I came in and he never said a word about it, just let me continue with my shift.”

You took a sip of coffee, allowing the warmth to seep into you, calming your nerves. You didn’t like talking about this with him. Being this open felt dangerous. It felt like walking into shark infested waters just hoping they wouldn’t notice you had an openly bleeding wound. 

“I did love him, but I don’t anymore,” you finally told him. “It took a long time to move on, but when I saw him last night, all I felt was disgust.”

Eddie looked pleased but like he was trying to hide it. He reached his hand out, taking yours and guided you over to his lap. You sat down and he wound his arms around you, his chin resting on your shoulder. 

“Good,” he whispered, “because there appeared to be some confusion last night that I really think we should clear up. So, I thought maybe I should officially ask so we both know where we stand. I don’t want to see other people, and I am hoping you don’t either. So, will you be my girlfriend?”

You laughed, “I know what I said last night but that sounds like such a silly question at our age.”

“Maybe it is, but will you?” he asked, those beautiful doe eyes gazing up into yours.

“Yeah,” you smiled, kissing him. “I think I can do that.”

“Excellent,” he grinned, his lips finding yours again. 

Taglist

@tlclick73 @bebe07011 @emma77645 @corrodedcoffincumslut @babeyglo @kimmi-kat @bblunuh @vintagehellfire @hellfire--cult @avobabe87 @just-a-sewer-goblin @emilyslutface @micheledawn1975 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

[breakavleheaven]

Revival

Authors note:

Surprise!! part 3 is here🤍 as always feedback is welcome and I hope you enjoy 😊

Warnings:

Angst, slow burn, Bad/inappropriate language, Asshole!Carlos. Mentions of cheating. Sexual themes.

Part 1, Part 2

Part 3: The Archer

Three Months Later

Taking a deep breath, Celine logged into her social media accounts for the first time in over 3 months. Opening Instagram and avoiding looking at any posts or notifications, she went straight into making a post - she was on a mission. It was time to announce her revival.

Celinejlex

Liked by landonorris and others

Celinejlex: Don’t worry, guys. I’m alive. See you in Bahrain 💌🏎️

Comments

Freyalex: Baby sis is a bad bitch ❤️‍🔥

User1: Didn’t Carlos and she break up? Why is she going to Bahrain? 💀👀

User2: Girl bffr, she works in F1 events & marketing.

User3: Carlos fumbled so hard. Imagine cheating on Celine.

Lilymhe: I think we’re almost due for another girls’ night.

Lissiemackintosh: I second that 💜

Alexandrasaintmleux: See u soon! ❤️

User4: Lando 👀

The past few months have been such a whirlwind for Celine. She spent so much time and effort trying to be her old self again after getting her whole heart shattered. Moving into her sister’s flat in London was the best possible thing she could have done.

Freya, her best friend, probably knew her better than she knew herself, and being able to rely on her made things so much easier. Not only that, but moving to London also brought new friendships. Celine found solace and friendship in Lilly, the girlfriend of the British Thai driver Alex Albon. She also became connected with Lissie Mackintosh, a brilliant F1 reporter and overall social media icon. Despite seeing both girls around the paddock often, she had only ever had very few interactions with them. She was truly thankful to the three girls for bringing her back to life - and of course, Alex, despite her being based in Monaco, she was just a call away.

Not only did Celine have all the emotional turmoil she had to work through, but she had also been overly stressed about her job. Once she left Vegas, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go to Abu Dhabi for the final race. She couldn’t face Carlos, and she knew she’d be too distracted to be helpful. She talked it out with her team who agreed she shouldn’t be there, and they assured her they had it covered. While her team was fine with it, she felt guilty. She knew it wasn’t professional and wondered how many others felt the same. However, after many more meetings with HR and other higher-ups, they came to a conclusion that she would keep her job.

——

Feb 27, 2024

Celine had just landed in Bahrain. She quickly pulled out her phone to text Freya that she made it safely. She made her way to the baggage claim and found her luggage. Checking her phone for the email to find out where the car service would be picking her up to bring her to her hotel, she went to search for her car. She found a driver standing outside an SUV with a sign that had her name on it.

She greeted the driver, and he grabbed her luggage to put it in the trunk of the SUV. While he was doing that, she pulled open the back door about to climb in when she noticed someone was in the back seat. She let out a startled yelp, only to realize it was Lando.

He instantly started laughing. Celine swatted him on the arm.

“You dickhead, you gave me a heart attack!” She laughed.

“What? Didn’t even recognize your pal Lando, huh?” He smirked.

“Yeah, actually, now that you mention it, you do look uglier than the last time I saw you,” she joked.

Lando jokingly acted hurt and placed a hand over his heart.

As Celine got into the back seat of the SUV with Lando, she felt a small rush.

She playfully raised an eyebrow at him and said, “Well, well, well, look who decided to crash my party in the back seat.”

Lando chuckled and leaned back, crossing his arms with a mischievous grin. “I couldn’t resist the chance to surprise you. Besides, it’s your grand return to this circus.”

Celine rolled her eyes playfully, her heart fluttering at his teasing. “Oh, so you’re just here for a wellness check, huh? That’s sweet of you, Lando.”

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with humor. “Of course, I take my role as a friend very seriously. I had to make sure you didn’t overthink yourself to death.”

Celine decided to play along with his teasing and leaned in closer to him, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial tone. “Well, you know, I really appreciate having such a good friend.” Her eyes quickly flickered to his lips. Shit, she hoped he didn’t notice.

Lando raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. “A friend, huh? Are you sure you don’t need a bodyguard/guy-who-runs interference if anything comes up?”

Celine laughed softly, her heart warming at the easy banter between them. “Bodyguard? Psh, you can’t hurt a fly, Lan. Interference, though, I might take you up on. Who knows when ‘anything’ will be a problem?”

Both of them knew ‘anything’ was referring to Carlos.

———

Lando

Over the past few months, Celine and he had grown closer with her living in London. Lots of nights out with their friends and occasional flirty banter.

Lando wanted to be respectful of Celine and Carlos; he still had to see the man regularly, but goddamn was it ever getting increasingly difficult. She was one of the most exciting and interesting people he knew, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. He’d just have to settle for the flirting for now.

———

The next morning Celine was battling jet lag and anxiety on her first day back at work in the paddock. She prepared for her day normally and got ready to head to the track. Overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation, she knew she was ready to kill it.

She strolled up to the paddock and was greeted by many familiar faces she often saw around. As she entered the hospitality building for her meeting, everything seemed fine. But walking out of the meeting room, it seemed like everyone in the room turned to look at her. That’s odd, she thought. Everything was fine this morning. Maybe she was just imagining it? Must be the jet lag.

Then suddenly, Lando appeared seemingly out of nowhere and out of breath.

Eyes wide, he looked at Celine.

“Hey, have you checked your phone at all? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you, probably others too.”

“No, it’s been in my bag, and I just got out of a meeting.”

She pulled it out to see over 50 missed calls and quadruple the amount of texts. She felt the blood drain from her face, and her heart dropped.

“What’s going on? Why do you look like that?”

“Let’s sit down. So, uh, I don’t even know how to say this; guess it’s off like a bandaid. Carlos… he uh has proposed to his girlfriend,” he said while rubbing his forehead.

Her mind went blank. She felt like ice water had just been dumped over her. What? How long had she and Carlos been broken up for? How long had he been with this girl? Was it the same one he had cheated on her with?

“Ce, are you still there?”

Blinking and pulling herself together, she replied, “I think my brain malfunctioned, uhh, yeah, okay. So he’s engaged. Is it the same girl from Vegas?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Hey Ce, it’s going to be okay.”

Silent tears were streaming down her face, and Lando got the urge to get up and give the girl a hug, so for once, he acted on that impulse and let her cry into his chest.

As Lando wrapped his arms around Celine in a comforting embrace, he felt the weight of her pain and heartache. He wished he could take away her hurt, but all he could do was be there for her in this moment.

Celine let herself cry, allowing the emotions she had been holding back to flow freely. She was devastated, not just by the news of Carlos’ engagement but also by the realization that she had been replaced so quickly.

“I don’t understand how he could move on so fast,” Celine choked out between sobs. “Was I that easy to replace?”

Lando held her tighter, trying to find the right words to comfort her. “Celine, this isn’t about you. It’s about him and his decisions. It has nothing to do with your worth or how easily replaceable you are. You’re an incredible person, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.”

She sniffled, wiping away her tears. “But why does it hurt so much?”

Lando gently brushed a tear from her cheek. “Because it’s natural to feel hurt when someone you loved moves on. But you’re strong, and you’ll get through this. You have a whole group of people who care about you, including me. We’ve got your back, Ce.”

Celine nodded, grateful for his support. She knew she had friends who cared for her, but in this moment, Lando’s presence was exactly what she needed. She looked up at him with a small smile. “Thank you, Lando. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He smiled back, his eyes warm and full of compassion. “Anytime, Ce. You know I’m always here for you.”

——-

As the day went on, Celine leaned on her friends for support. Lissie and Lilly were there to lend an ear and offer their encouragement. Freya, too, had been there for her throughout the day, providing a comforting presence over the phone.

Later on in the evening, Celine was settled into her hotel room with no intention to leave for the entire night. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. She opened it to be surprised by a group of familiar faces; Lando, Lissie, Lily & Alex, and even Daniel. They had a stack of pizza boxes too.

She let them in with a happy smile, grateful to have such supportive people around her.

“Thank you guys for this. You really didn’t need to do this.”

“Well, of course, we did, love,” Lissie spoke with her comforting voice.

The pizzas were placed on the table, and the group sat down to eat. Celine found herself sitting next to Lando. Their legs brushed against each other under the table, and she felt a warm and tingly feeling. She turned to Lando with a shy smile. Everyone else was so preoccupied they didn’t notice the shared moment between the two. Lando placed a hand on her thigh, and butterflies erupted in her stomach. She placed her hand on top of his and basked in the comfort it provided.

The group chatted and laughed, and while Celine was still hurting, being surrounded by her friends made the pain a little more bearable. Lando was attentive, knowing when to crack a joke to lighten the mood and when to give her a reassuring smile.

As the night drew to a close, they all said their goodbyes and started to head back to their respective accommodations.

Lando lingered back with the intent to talk to Celine alone. Daniel gave Lando a wink and a pat on the back when he walked to the door. Lando rolled his eyes at the typical Daniel action. Once everyone had left the room, and it was just Celine and Lando left, Celine smiled at Lando.

“Thank you again, Lan,” Celine said softly. “You’ve been so kind to me, and I appreciate it more than I can express.”

He smiled warmly at her. “You don’t have to thank me, Ce. Friends look out for each other, and I care about you.”

Celine nodded, her heart fluttering at his sincerity. “Well, I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”

Lando stopped, turning to face her. “You know, Celine, you’re an amazing person, and anyone would be lucky to have you. Don’t forget that, okay?”

She met his gaze, something buzzed inside her. “Thank you, Lando,” she whispered. “I won’t forget.”

She pulled Lando in for a hug and said goodbye. Once he left, she sighed; she was finally alone. It had been an exhausting day. She was battling so many emotions at once. She was incredibly grateful to have amazing friends. She was still incredibly hurt by Carlos’ news and especially him choosing today to announce it felt like a slap in the face. And there was something else; what was happening with Lando? Her emotions were so scattered, and the feelings Lando was bringing up didn’t seem right. She wanted to get over Carlos, but she didn’t have enough time to heal, and she knew whatever this situation with Lando was was probably because of her feelings about the whole Carlos situation. For now, she would just have to ignore it and focus on her own well-being.

—

Authors note:

Welllll who saw that coming? How are feeling about that one?

Tagged❣️:

@aundercover @formula1mount

[hanalulugguk]

Sugar Rush Ride I

Pairings: Han Jisung x fem oc

genre: fluff, non-idol AU

Warnings: none.

Word count: 3.9 k

bold is korean

(Slightly revisited!)

this was a dream i had a few weeks ago that i’ve been think about since and made it into a series of one shots. was so excited to write n post it i didn’t even plan it out so hopefully i won’t change anything.

jisungie library assistant part 1/?

Enjoy <3

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Tossing her pen over the scattered stacks of paper on the table, lyra leaned back in her seat, back pressing against the hard wood of the chair she had been sitting on for hours as she lets out a huff of frustration. Her eyes drift to the clock on her open laptop, 10:27pm , she’s been here since 3pm. Arriving at the busy hours of the library, when the bustle of passing students spending time here to pass their breaks or when people would pass by after work in hopes of finding a new book or finding a quiet place to read, and remaining well into the late hours of the night when there would be a maximum of 10 people spread all across the vast space of the local library.

This was her typical routine, being in her first year of achieving a master’s degree, lyra quickly found herself in a similar routine to when she was in college. Spending the early afternoon in class then spending the rest of her day at the library, studying. Being in the first few months, one wouldn’t expect to be this behind, but apparently the daily 2 hour class was enough to pile up onto itself and create more work, research and extra work to catch up. But that is to be expected, she’s just meant to endure it and push through, especially since a master’s in psychology was her idea. 

Opting to take a quick break before she finishes the last task of night to head home, she picks herself up, slipping her headphones off her head and standing from her chair with a great deal of effort, similar to that of a mother of 4 children with a husband to take care of, she take her wallet before pushing her chair in, pile of messy work left to be dealt with later as she heads to the big library doors. Lyra’s favourite thing about the library, aside from everything which is why she spends close to all her time there, is the cafeteria divided from the main common area, the library, on the 3rd floor. 

For a library cafeteria, it sure was wondrous, there was always fresh pastries and food in the early hours of the day, the afternoon and sometimes late into the night, depending on how busy it is there. Aside from the pastries and coffee, shockingly good coffee too, the cafeteria provided a really delicious and filling menu, one that people who don’t even come to the library come to visit. With how often lyra goes to the library, she is already familiar with all the staff, no matter their shift, she has at some point come across them or has even befriended them from her college days.

Making her way into the elevator and pressing on the button to the 3rd floor, she pulls out her phone to check for any messages, turning off the do not disturb option. After quickly reading over them, the elevator dings, letting her know that she has arrived at the 3rd floor. As soon as the metal doors part open and the soft voice of Taylor swift reaches lyra’s ears, she steps out with a slight furrow to her brows. Usually, from early morning till late in the afternoon at least, the music playing in the 3rd floor is soft lofi, or quick jazz music, both of which are a funny soundtrack to a late breakfast or early dinner, but nonetheless, they made a little more sense than taylor swift, this late in the night.

As she makes her way past the entrance, Lyra is met with the empty cafeteria, the sound of clattering utensils and plates heard from the back kitchen, aside from the one figure in view behind the cash register. At the sound of lyra’s footsteps the man’s head lifts from his fix on his foot to offer her a small smile. “I was wondering when you’ll come by,”

“Hi axel,” lyra greets softly, leaning on the counter, axel mirroring her so they were face to face, breaths almost mingling. “Hey little dove, how’s studying?” he asks with a light pat to her head. She drops her head forward with a small grunt making axel chuckle. “I think i’m gonna go insane before I cure any kids,” she saunters making him shake his head, “no you won’t. You’re the best future child psychologist of our time,” he defends making her look up with raised brows, “i sense sarcasm.” he shakes his head again with a laugh before pushing himself off the counter to stand up straight.

“What can i get you?” he asks moving to the sandwich stall where all the ingredients and toppings were still left out. “Anything is fine, I just need to get some food in me so my stomach isn’t louder than my music.” lyra responds, going to watch axel put her sandwich together from behind the glass barrier. He slips on a pair of clear gloves before pulling out some sandwich bread, “speaking of music, is this your doing?” she asks pointing her finger up at the invisible music flowing between them, still loud and clear inside the cafeteria, “if it’s past 9pm and it’s not the weeknd or j balvin then yes, it’s me.” axel responds not looking up from the sandwich he was assembling. “Did you get dumped?” lyra asks, eyeing him as he adds extra jalapenos into her sandwich, just how she likes it.

“Is taylor swift for people who get dumped?” he asks taking a quick glance at the girl on the opposite side of the glass. “I am choosing not to elaborate further considering how my only meal for the next couple of hours is with your reach.” axel chuckles as he shakes his head, “don’t worry i won’t poison you,” he assures, making her jokingly let out a loud breath of relief.

 “I like jonah’s taste better though,” she says after a moment of silence, axel drops the onions he hand in hand back into their container as he leans on the glass, “why don’t you let jonah make your sandwich?”

“I’ll stare directly in the sun but never in the mirror,” lyra sings along to anti hero playing through the speakers making axel laugh as he goes back to adding the onions on top as a last touch then wrapping her sandwich. “I think you’ll like it, i tried it yesterday and had it again for lunch, it’s my current favourite.” he says handing it to her above the glass. Axel is always using his free food privilege at the cafeteria during his shift to try out new combinations with the sandwiches, switching out different spices and trying new dishes in the cafeteria kitchen. Sharing every successful one with lyra when she comes by.

 She unwraps the first part of the sandwich as she takes a generous bite, axel watches her full cheeks and her concentrated face in amusement and anticipation, watching her slowly chew, savouring every emulsion of flavour that she tastes. As soon as she swallows she looks over at her friend with a dreamy look in her eyes, “you’ve truly outdone yourself, again.” she makes sure to add before taking another bite. He smiles, “glad you like it, don’t get bored of it too fast, i won’t be trying anything new for a while i really like this one.” he points making her shake her head, “i could never get bored of eating anything you make.” axel rolls his eyes watching her eat, content smile on her face. 

“How much is it?” she asks pulling her wallet out of her back pocket, “it’s on the house.” lyra raises her brows with a scowl, “is that pity?” she asks sarcastically making axel shake his head, “that’s ‘i’ll give you a free sandwich, you’ll bring me cheesecake when you make some’. No pity.”

Lyra extends out her hand for a handshake, axel placing his hand in hers “deal.” they both give a firm handshake. She looks over at the display watch above the cashier as she lets out a small gasp at the time, 10:55. “I need to go finish something really quick before i pack up and leave.” axel looks up at the clock and nods, waving her off, “i need to pack up and help jonah in the kitchen too. i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes you will, say hello to jonah for me. And thank you for the sandwich.” she waves as she walks backwards, “no thank you’s just finish it.” axel calls back as she turns around to leave, “consider it devoured.” she calls back, not bothering to turn around as she makes her way back to the library. By the time she’s in and out of the elevator and has made her way back to the library entrance she only has less than half the sandwich left, she wraps it up before she enters, opting to finish the rest on her way home since food isn’t allowed in the library.

When she makes her way inside, lyra notices that everyone else at the library has already packed up and left, the only occupied table in the big library is the one right at the centre right in front of the victorian history section, the one that is home to her scattered paper, laptop and bag. She makes her way over, placing the food in her bag before she picks up her pen and opens her computer again. After about 10 minutes of pure silence, her choosing not to put her headphone back on feeling weary being the only one in the library, the sound of shuffling feet is heard next to her as she looks over at the far right to see a man at the furthest bookshelf from where she sat. the man was wearing a simple oversized white shirt tucked into a pair of beige pants with a black leather belt through the loops of his pants. He had slighty long blonde hair. He stood stoically, putting some books in his hand away. Lyra furrows her brows, not remembering seeing him before with any of the other staff, matter of fact there hadn’t been anyone on the night shift aside from sally, the lovely old librarian, for the past 4 months. She can’t recall either if he was one of the few people who were at the library aside from her working.

As she stares a little at the man, he turns around, eyes fixed to the two other book in his hand as he looks over the titles, now that he is towards her, lyra can see that his blonde hair is relatively longer at the front, his bangs resting on top of the frames of his black rimmed glasses that rested high on his nose bridge. Lyra shifts a little in her seat, turning back to her work, she’s only able to work for a few minutes before she feels too uneasy at the sound of feet pattering outside her line of vision. As she was about to pack up, she hears the pattering grow louder as he makes his way towards her table but walks past her to stand in front of the victorian history shelves. He stands for a few moments, looking between the books as he holds up the last book in his hand, taking a good look at it. Lyra furrows her brows at the strange man before pushing her chair back to get up. As the sound of the chair echoes in the empty library, the man turns around to find the source of the sound. His eyes land on lyra as she stands the table barely a few feet away from him, he gives her a quick shy smile before he turns back around to face the shelves. She notices a slight fidget in his stance as he continuously looks from the book to the shelves. She waves it off and packs up her papers into her file and stacks them on her notebook, when she puts her laptop away into it’s case, the notebook and file follows before she zips it up. Picking the stray items on the desk to put into her bag, the pen, her lip balm, wallet, the earrings that were too heavy in her ears so she took them off and tossed them aside, and her headphones. She slings her bag over her shoulder and cradles the laptop case in her arms, she takes one quick look to make sure she got everything before stepping aside to push the chair back into place under the table before turning to leave.

She takes her typical route home, quick 10 minute walk from the library to the bus stop, wait 10 minutes for the bus to arrive, takes the bus to the closest stop near her apartment, and then the 5 minute walk from the bus stop to her apartment. Lyra lived in a small humble, studio apartment. It was a yearly lease that she was very content with, the apartment was perfect for her.

When you walk in there’s a tiny hallway, as soon as you’re out on your right is the tiny kitchen with the basic needed appliances, stove, fridge, microwave and a sink. On the left is the medium sized bathroom, and right ahead is a small wall that stretches out about halfway across the width of the room where a small wooden desk was pressed up against, her bed lay behind the wall, out of view of the door and anyone who comes in. Opposite the bed was a closet with all of her clothes and shoes, all strategically placed to fit without being crowded. Above the bed was another level, a metal ladder leading up to it where a small lounge area lay. It wasn’t originally there but upon pondering over how to make the apartment feel spacious without crowding things over top of each other to fit a couch and chairs for when people come over. On the second, small, level was a few pairs of chairs on one side whilst the other side had a couch. The narrow floor to ceiling window letting in the midnight sky and light from the lampposts in the street. Hanging planets and pots littered the small apartment adding some colour to the fully white walls and interior along with some wooden furniture. 

She set her things on her desk, pulling out her sandwich as she makes her way to the window to close the curtain, she manoeuvres in the dark, munching on the sandwich in hand as she makes her way to the kitchen to heat up some water, in the meantime she eats the last of her sandwich and changes into her pyjamas and proceeds to the bathroom to wash her face before she gets too lazy to do so. By the time she’s pulling her laptop and papers out the kettle starts whistling letting her know that water is done. She makes her way over to it, adds a tea packet to her mug before pouring some water and taking the mug to her desk with her. 

By 1:40, eyes drowsy, tea long gone and mug placed aside, neck aching and eyes burning from the only light in the room being right in her face, she’s done with her task. She crawls into bed and plugs her phone into the charger before she’s swallowed by sleep. 

---

At exactly 11pm jisung makes his way past the building entrance and into the library, he places his bag on the main desk that is used when borrowing books. He takes a quick look around noticing the library to be practically empty, except for a woman who is emersed in her work, not noticing the new presence. Opting to get the job done with rather than wasting the little time left in his shift any longer, jisung goes around to pick up the books left behind by their previous users. Wondering how hard could it possibly be for people to return the books where they got them, it also doesn’t help that jisung still doesn’t know where every genre is and where to put most books. 

Once he had a stack of about 9  books placed on one table, he grabs a few in hand and goes around placing the ones he knows where to put them, when he has 3 left he feels a little stuck. The one at the top is an autobiography, so he walks over with all 3 in hand towards the bookshelves closest to the door and places it where it alphabetically should be. Then he holds the last two in his hand, turning away from the shelves as he stares at them. ‘David copperfield’ and ‘a brief history of life in victorian britain’. Isn’t david copperfield fiction? Should it go in fiction?

After a few seconds of contemplating he opts to check the system on the computer, that’s what sally suggests he does if he ever gets stuck. God bless her for being so patient on his first day every time he came to her with a new book he didn’t know where to place, she would guide him to every bookshelf. She did so for every one of the 30 books he placed that day, until. She showed him to use the computer to look up the books, making him thank her profusely and even almost hug her as she smiled at the younger man. 

He  leans forward, one hand holding him up as he uses the other to type the book titles. When he’s done he knows he should place david copperfield in the fictional novel section and the other book in victorian history, but where are these?

Jisung picks up the two books and slowly walks around, skimming over every section title, hyper aware of how loud his boots sound in the empty library. Wondering, is the sound too loud for her? Is it bothering her whilst she works? At his wondering he takes a quick glance in her direction to see her twirling her pen between her fingers, eyes fixed on the work in front of her. In his peripheral vision jisung noticed the title of the bookshelf in front of her desk, he looks up to read it properly. Victorian history. He pushes his glasses that have slid down, a little further up his nose bridge as he slowly makes his way to it.

He takes a quick glance as he passes by the woman’s table, trying to catch a look at what she’s doing but doesn’t understand anything so he just makes his way past her. Once in front of the shelf he reaches to place the book at the beginning but notices the books aren’t in alphabetical order, more so scattered. He looks at the book then looks back at the shelf trying to catch a pattern, too focused where the loud sound of wood pushing against the floor catches him off guard making him abruptly turn around, meeting eyes with the woman who now stood at the table she was occupying. When he does his eyes flutter quickly, mouth open just the slightest bit as his eyebrows raise a little, he stares at her for a second, one that felt like it lasted longer than it did, before he breaks out of it, flashing her a quick smile before he turns his back to her. Why did he do that? That was so lame. 

Jisung is drowned by his anxious thoughts at the few second interaction that can’t even be labelled as an interaction. He mindlessly fiddles with the books in his hand as he ponders, Did he really stare for too long? Has he possibly seen anyone this beautiful before? 

The sound of the chair scrapping the floor breaks him out of his thoughts but this time he fights the urge to turn around, he hears the sound of her feet drift further away before they're out of earshot. When he no longer hears them, he turns around to look at the empty table where the only previous company once was, then to the door where she left. Jisung stands there for a second, trying to think up what he could remember of her face. She was very beautiful, her features were so sharp, skin so bright and aura so strong he almost felt it engulf him, her eyes were soft though. So soft he almost melted where he stood as he looked into them. He’s heard of people so enticing they lure you in, their gaze so sharp they cage you, but he can’t recall being able to say that about anyone he’s met before.

Mind in a daze, jisung turns back to the shelf, shoving the book the first place his hand could reach. His arms swing by his side as he looks around for the fictional novel section to place the last book. Once he does he makes his way back to the front. 

On his way, his eyes linger at the table where the woman was when he passes. He sighs as he takes a seat at the main desk chair, beginning his last task of the night, checking the borrowed and returned list and updating the manual one and making note of tomorrow’s to be returned list. By the time he’s done it’s 1 am, and he’s been yawning for 30 minutes straight. He closes up the computer, turns off the light when he’s at the entrance with his bag in hand. As he bids farewell to the security guard at the gates he pulls out his phone as he halts a cab to go home. 

Once home he notices the lights are on, a light murmer coming from his roommate’s room. He makes his way over  and knocks gently, a soft 'come in’ is heard on the other side urging jisung to open the door. Chan is seated at his desk, body turned around to look at the door as jisung leans in, “i’m home.” 

“Welcome, did you eat?” chan asks taking his headphones off fully, “yeah i ate before i went to work, did you?” chan nods gently, dark circles under his eyes illuminated  by the desk light he had on.

“Hey if i went to work a little late do you think they’ll cut the day out or just the time?” jisung asks, chan looks to be think about it before he asks, “when did you go and when are you supposed to go?”

“11. I’m supposed to be there 6.” jisung answers sheepishly scratching his neck, “yeah consider it a free day i doubt they’ll pay you.” chan answers with a chuckle making jisung groan. “Why were you late?” 

“I forgot i was switched to the night shift, i only remembered when i was on my way home,” jisung sighs, chan looking at him sympathetically, knowing the younger has been having a difficult time recently, it was showing in his work, he just doesn’t know why. And he didn’t wish to pry, he knows jisung to talk when he wants to, when he’s comfortable enough to share. “I’m going to bed, goodnight.”

“Night,” chan’s voice makes it out before jisung closes the door and heads to his room. He gets straight into bed not bothering to change, being up since 6 having already taken him out, especially with him needing to be up at 6 again meaning he barely has 5 hours to sleep. For almost an hour he struggles to find sleep,mind clouded with thoughts of anything but sleep, overthinking coming easy to him at the late hours of the night. Some of these thoughts are of the woman at the library. What is she like? What does her voice sound like? What does her smile look like? Is she easy to make laugh? Is she funny? Would she find jisung funny? What does her laugh sound like? 

Before he’s able to ponder further he’s already snoring.

[cowboydisaster]

Update!

Hello!! Firstly, I'm sorry for being MIA for a while. If anyone at all has stuck around, I thank you. And if you didn't, I understand. I'm gonna try to address all the most asked questions in my inbox here because it'll take me a while to go through them individually-- there was a lot so if i didn't get to yours I apologize!!

1. are you going to update The Fire In Your Eyes?

I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I honestly don't know. Obviously I want to finish it. I put so much time and effort and thought into every update and hyperfixated on it for a long time, so to see it sitting untocuhed kills me. I still have plans for the ending and where I want it to go, but I'm struggling to write it down. I hope to keep updating it, but I don't want to be a writer who promises updates and then orphans a fic, so I'm not promising anything.

2. are you going to keep writing/posting?

Yes! If you follow my ao3, you'll see i still post. For the past year, I've been solely focused on rdr2, but in the past few months away from tumblr, I've branched out by trying some new games and watching some new shows. I fell into the cod Fandom, which I'll talk more about in the next paragraph. In short, even while away from tumblr, I never stopped writing, and i don't plan to, I just haven't written for rdr2 in a while.

3. are you abandoning your blog?

no! I am, however, updating it to my current interests. It's going to be a multifandom blog. I'm gonna change up the vibe a little bit, revamp it, and add my new characters. I'm writing for Simon Riley now, so expect to see him a lot on my blog. I also might write for Price cause the daddy issues are daddy issuing.

4. how are you?

Im good i think!! For the first time in a while. So much has happened since I left. I moved, my dad abandoned me, I started back at uni and started working a lot more. So I'm busy and dealing with a lot, but I feel okay!

to wrap that all up:

if you're still here, I really really appreciate you. Im still going to write for the rdr2 fandom, I'm gonna add writing to the cod Fandom. If you have any cod requests, PLEASE send them in because I have hundreds of requests for Arthur Morgan and zero for the 141 boys, so I'm starting from scratch there. Also, as a heads up, im going to be changing my blog a good bit with a new layout and fixing up my masterlist and everything, so look out for that! also, keep an eye out because im going to be posting a two simon riley fics on here either tonight or tomorrow!

I love you all. I'm so excited to be back, and I'm excited for this new chapter of my blog. 🩷🩷

[haztobegood]

⭐️ Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2023 ⭐️

I love doing this every year. (2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022) I can't believe I've been writing for six years now! I looked through my past annual posts and got a bit emotional, it's amazing to see how much I've grown and changed.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 7

2. Word count posted for the year: 11,572

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Music RPF (The Snuts)

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Jack Cochrane, Louis Tomlinson/Bodyguard

5. Story with the most: Kudos: No (Birth) Control Bookmarks: No (Birth) Control Comments: Good Dogs Don’t Bark

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Chaos is a 100 word drabble that I'm very proud of. I tried for months to write a Louis/Bodyguard fic for the Louis Rare Pair fest and it just wasn't coming together. Putting a hard limit on the word count was a fun little challenge that helped me get the idea down on paper. At first I didn't know if I could build a steamy plot in so few words, but it worked out in the end and I couldn't be happier with it!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): Of the stuff posted this year, I'm not unhappy with anything, but if I had to rank everything, chapter 2 of Good Dogs Don’t Bark is at the bottom of the pack. I was in a weird mood writing-wise when I wrote that chapter and it reminds me of that time whenever I think of it.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: @allwaswell16 read Chaos on her podcast! I dedicated the drabble to her for inspiring and encouraging me all year when writing has been a struggle, and for being such a supportive mod for @louisrarepairfest!

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: All year! This is the least I've ever written since I started. Life has been full of big changes and it threw off my writing habits. I've also been very stuck in my head about certain aspects of writing that I never used to think twice about. I'm hoping now that life has settled and I've got somewhat of a new routine figured out, I can set some intentions and build up my habit again, because I really miss writing.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: This scene from Baking Memories made me burst out laughing when it came to me:

Looking down at his six little pies, Louis is starting to feel like a proper baker. Jack finishes up his last and says, “Alright, let’s top ‘em.” “I bet that’s your favourite part,” Louis jokes raising his eyebrows teasingly. “At least these don’t talk back when I’m topping.” “Oi!”

More under the cut.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: From No (Birth) Control

He picked up another potato. Twisting the paring knife expertly around the spud, the thin brown peel sliced away from the white flesh in smooth, practiced movements. It was easy for Harry to get lost in the meditative efforts of slicing, dicing, and peeling. Just two potatoes remained when Harry caught Louis’ piquant scent through the open window. Harry paused his singing and peeling as he breathed in deeply. His sense of smell was always attuned to his alpha, but this close to heat the pull was even stronger. The back door opened. The scent enveloped him, stronger than the savoury aroma of the roast, as Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s middle, hugging him from behind. Harry melted back into his touch, forgetting about the half-peeled potato in his hand. “Hi baby.” Louis said, leaning in to drag his nose along the curve of Harry’s neck in tender greeting. “Alpha,” Harry sighed, tension he didn’t know he’d been holding meting away. He could stay like this, content in his alpha’s arms, forever. Louis licked up the side of his neck. The blatant scent marking sent shivers up Harry’s spine, and a light nip of sharp teeth over his bondmark started to make him wet. He would be half-tempted to bend over the counter, if it weren’t for the roast cooking in the oven and the twins playing in the yard. Harry bit back a whimper. “Lou, no,” he groaned. “I need to finish dinner.” With all his resolve, Harry gripped the paring knife tighter and focused his attention on peeling the remaining potatoes.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I've learned to be patient with myself. I have a lot of wips that I've started in 2019 or 2020 that aren't even close to being finished. I used to be so frustrated that I couldn't finish them, but now I've learned that sometimes the wip needs to sit in the dark cavern of the drafts folder to age like fine wine.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I want to be more intentional about setting time to write. I miss having a regular writing time and want to be able to work on some of the exciting ideas I have.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @allwaswell16 and @himynameiszayn are the most supportive friends, they were always around to offer advice, help me think of words, and cheer me on when writing was hard. I don't think I would have written half the amount of words I posted if it wasn't for them.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I listened to The Snuts so much this year after seeing them play during FITFWT, so it was only natural for me to write a fic featuring Jack. I love the silly Christmas video the band shared a few years ago and knew it was perfect idea for the fic that became Baking Memories!

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: I touched on it a bit above, but sometimes taking a pause on a wip you're struggling with is a good thing. Give yourself grace to move on when an idea isn't coming together the way you want. It doesn't mean you need to give up on the story completely, it might just be the wrong time.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I am looking forward to writing something for @wankersday again, and I am getting closer to finishing my alien!Harry fic that's been 5 years in the making!

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I tag @banaanipoika9 @louandhazaf @hazzabeeforlou @beelou anyone else that wants to do this!

[meowzfordayz]

home at last (home is wherever you are)

Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Word Count: ~500

CW: mild sexual content

Emergency Request Fulfilled: Hi T, I have a sort of an emergency request, my flight is in a few hours and it’s been some time since I came home, as much as I am homesick, coming home is kind of saddening because my friends and other people I look forward to meeting are busy working/ uni/ etc, so I was wondering if you could write about Kyojuro who’s welcoming his s/o home after 8 months of being abroad? Something comfy and sweet? I hope it’s not too much to ask🙏🏻

Kyojuro waits at your gate’s entrance, palms clammy, wayward hairs tickling his temples, phone heavy in the pocket of his sweatpants, eyes pacing from the airport clock to the gate desk back to the airport clock. He knows you’ll appreciate his effort, charming his way past security despite: Sir, if you’re not flying somewhere, then I can’t let you through; his voice carrying the perfect heaviness of tension and disappointment Of course! I understand! I just wish I could be there for my partner as soon as possible!; maintaining his anxious slouch Oh? Is there an emergency?; sheepish, longing trace of a smile flickering as he shrugs Not exactly? They left a year ago, and I have simply missed them very much. Unfortunately quiet sigh to build anticipation I am the only person they are coming home to… surely you wouldn’t scold him for his exaggeration(s) seeing as they brought him closer and sooner to you?

8:02PM [y/n]: Just landed 🥳

8:02PM Kyojuro: Congratulations, my love! 😍

8:04AM [y/n]: How far are you from the airport?

8:07PM Kyojuro: Assuming you walk to passenger pick up, I should be there when you arrive.

8:07PM [y/n]: Pssshhh I’m not THAT excited 😏

8:08PM Kyojuro: Orrr you dislike running? 🤭

8:15PM [y/n]: Cya soon❣️

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

Your screech startles him from his halfway typed reply, phone hurriedly tucked away, shoulders bracing subconsciously for impact.

1, 2, 3- “KYYYOOO!!!!!”

He barely staggers as you launch yourself at him, his hands deftly interlocking beneath your bum as your arms fling themselves around his neck, gentle Oof knocked from his chest as the weight of your gigantic backpack follows quickly after.

“I,” kissing his forehead, “Can’t,” his nose, “Believe,” his left cheek, “You’re,” his right cheek, “Here!” his chin.

“You neglected a spot,” he grins softly, skin glistening from your affection, “Dare I say, the most important?”

“Kyo!” you gasp, pinching his bicep cheerfully, “Your forehead,” kiss “And nose,” kiss “And BOTH cheeks,” kiss kiss “Are VERY important!”

“I love you,” he declares, heart humming, “Now kiss me. Again.”

“So demanding,” you murmur, legs squeezing above his hips as you finally press your lips to his, exasperated giggles vibrating against his mouth as he removes a hand from under you, no doubt for a celebratory fist pump.

“Don’t drop me!” you squeal, biting playfully at the tip of his tongue.

“I would never!” he exclaims, promptly returning his hand to its rightful position, “Although, perhaps, we should head toward the baggage claim?”

“You’re not gonna carry me there?” you pout.

“Last time I offered to carry you in public, you claimed that would be sooo embarrassing.”

“Yeeeah,” you huff, eyebrows furrowing, “But last time I had seen you, like, yesterday. This time, it’s been Eight! Months!”

“My love, I am more than content to carry you.”

“WAIT,” your eyes widen, realization registering, thighs warming as your core tightens, “Maybe a piggyback ride?”

“A piggyback ride?” he nods politely, his grip on your bum firm as his tone lowers, “As you wish.”

[nohoperadio]

The date for my annual performance review at work has been set for one month from today. The review day itself is not a big source of stress, it's the management's opinion that I'm good at my job, it's a mildly awkward thing to go through but it's very unlikely to "go badly" on the day.

However!

I gotta fill out the paperwork first, which consists of seven pages, each page representing one of the abstract work virtues ("teamwork", "initiative", "customer service" etc), and for each of these I have to write 3+ concrete examples of things I did over the past year that exemplify that virtue, followed by a description of how each thing I did impacted the business, followed by explaining what lesson I took from each thing.

This is a chore that combines several things I hate hate hate and am bad bad bad at:

homework (the paperwork doesn't have to be done at home, you can schedule work time to do it and this is considered fine, but this doesn't work for me at all for reasons we'll get to in a bit), I'm not even good at structuring my free time when the only things I'm trying to fit into my schedule are nice things I enjoy doing, let alone this

bullshitting, the whole thing is premised on an abstract dreamt-up-by-HR model of how people's jobs work that bears so little relation to reality that it's basically impossible to complete the form without a lot of bullshitting. You have to take utterly mundane and routine moments from your job that don't mean anything and write them up in a way that emphasizes how brilliant and special and passionate you are; also because they ask for an absurdly large amount of examples, you find you spend a lot of time and mental effort figuring out how to reword stuff you've already written elsewhere in such a way that it's not too obvious you're repeating yourself. I am extremely averse to bullshitting to an extent that I fully acknowledge is irrational and unhealthy but I don't seem to be able to do much about it: at uni I would occasionally miss deadlines because I couldn't figure out what my actual opinions were about the thing the essay was about, and I couldn't bring myself to just write an essay endorsing a conclusion I wasn't sure about. I hope that doesn't come across as even slightly a boast, there is no virtue there, it's an extremely fucking stupid attitude to have, I knew that at the time but I couldn't seem to change it. And I'm still kind of like that unfortunately, I can write bullshit but it feels horrendous and takes a ton of will power and progress will be comically slow.

expressing positive sentiments about myself, this one's self-explanatory I think

The result of these points is that I find writing these things so emotionally draining that it often takes like literal hours of psyching myself up/calming myself down just to find the right state of mind where I can even get started, and then often that leads to like, two or three bullet points worth of progress and then I'm exhausted. If this sounds dumb to you, well, yeah. That's why I can't realistically do it during work time, what am I gonna do request a whole day's worth of time and then produce like 30 words by the end of it? I'm not doing that. On top of these setbacks resulting from my unfortunate personality, there's also the fact that my particular role is quite different from most people's in the company but I still have to fill out the same standard form as everyone else, e.g. I rarely deal directly with customers so I have to really reach to argue that stuff I'm doing counts as "customer service", there's a lot of that kind of thing.

I'm not sure if I'm really conveying what I find horrible about this very well, but basically it's: 1] a lot of work, which 2] relies on skills I am extremely weak on and 3] aggravates my weird neuroses in various ways, and all the while 4] the whole thing is manifestly pointless and dumb. That's a recipe for aaaaaaaaaaaaa. If this year goes like the previous two years, I'll spend the weeks leading up to it feeling guilty and panicky for a significant portion of every day and doing that thing where I procrastinate the productive task constantly while not being able to really enjoy the things I'm using as procrastination either; I'll make ludicrously small amounts of progress on a handful of good days, but ultimately somehow force my way through most of it all in one go just before the deadline.

Maybe it won't be like that this time. My general being-a-person competence has been improving year on year for the past several, maybe this is the year I only moderately suck at this type of task. I shall let that sentiment have the last word here, not because it's especially plausible but because it feels virtuous to do so.

(I feel like it would be unjust to write this post and fail to say: I like my job. A lot! It's nothing very glamorous, I work in a bookshop and get paid marginally more than minimum wage, but: I find the work satisfying, I virtually never have the "ugh I can't wait till I can go home" feeling, and there's a small number of people there who I like very much and who like me in return. All three of those are things I literally could not conceive of being true of any job before I started here; when I said above that my being-a-person competence has improved the past few years, my job is a huge part of that. I have more positive feelings towards my work than a lot of people ever get to experience and I feel lucky for that. But this one particular aspect of it which comes once a year always kind of ruins my life for the better part of a month and I really wish it didn't exist.)