#((Again no icons bc lazy))

[roger-paladino]

Putting a selfie under a cut bc I'm anxious

but yeah my fashion sense is literally the same as rogers in the previous rb it makes me go crazy insane if I could cut my hair a bit shorter I'd be real

[deathwick]

@hightabled: what's it like to be you?

seated across from the marquis, the air running thick with tension, the question puzzles him. john had never been one for introspective, but the question lingered in his mind— what was it like to be him? a man of few words, allowing his actions to continuously speak volumes for him, but now he finds himself seeking an answer. hickory irises glancing up, taking note of the smug smirk playing at the corners of the man's mouth, john can't help but scoff— even while attempting to bite it back. “ it's... complicated. ” he finally speaks, voice low & measured— everything is calculated in this room. how quickly he can reach for the gun resting in the holster on his belt, how fast he can kick the coffee table in front of them upwards if the marquis were to aim his first— everything has to be measured with this encounter. “ it means being ready for the next fight, the next danger. it means carrying the past on my shoulders. ” the people he's lost, the things he's done.

looking down at his hands, he recollects the countless lives he had taken throughout the years— as the baba yaga & the quest for revenge. [no matter how hard he scrubbed, the blood on his hands never truly washed away. no matter how hard he tried.] eyes flicking back up to meet the other's gaze, he takes a deep breath; an attempt to shake off the edge that threatened to consume him. “ that's your answer. what it's like to be me. ” he doesn't extend the courtesy of the same question to the other— john doesn't care to know the answer.

[threadus]

     ch..n..ey . . . a..nth..ny! w..keup . . . pl..sepleaseplea..beok..ay . . . st..ywi..th..m . . .

    STAY WITH IT, ANTHONY. 

    yo..ucou..ldve..k..lled..h..m! y..ouh..ve..t..h..lphimhelphimhelphimkilledhimkilledhimkilledhimkilled

    voices echoing around you. in these woods, it’s impossible to tell where they’re coming from. 

    where am i? ( you know exactly where you are. )

    YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS, Y’KNOW. SO DAMN SERIOUS.

    s..aaaaam! s..to..y..rhu..rti..n..h..im!

    you were alive, once. anxious and messy and desperate for something bigger than you to make you whole again, but god, you were completely and painfully 

    ONE OF THESE DAYS,

    alive.

    w..ke..up..ant..ho..n..y . . . p..l..e . . .

    but now, everything is so

    YOU’RE GONNA WORRY YOURSELF TO DEATH.

    cold.

    a sharp inhale as dead man walking is reanimated once more. dull eyes snap open, and anthony is greeted not by trees, but by the cracked garage ceiling. dim light filters in through the singular grimy window, casting shadows across the pathetic excuse for a ‘bedroom’. vision blurs at the edges as he sits up, a spark crawling up his spine and blooming at the base of his skull. gaze falls to the bloodied bandages on his arm, and he remembers 

breakitbreakitsmashitbreakitdownsmashitdestroydestroydestroydestroyd e s tr o yd e s trrrrrrrr

#WYRDING SAID: s ta  y  w ith  m e,  an t h on y. . . 

    nothing.

    a sharp chillllllllchillcoldcoldcoldcold as his feet hit the floor. he has half the mind to lay back down, but davey’s voice on the other side of the curtain is 

    YOU USED HIM! YOU COULD HAVE DESTROYED HIM! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN THIS, SAM!

    rising steadily with his temper. when davey gets like this, you’re the only one who can get him to 

    ' STOP. '

[199degrees]

okay halloween theme done ✅

[fma03envy]

I did not realize you were a homestuck fan lol

Yeah, I started reading it last July and it became my special interest pretty fast

I try to keep hs stuff quarantined to @april13th2009 most of the time for yalls sake, but it does periodically leak onto here as a result of that comic eating my brain

[fightingthetides]

For the accompanying drabble to go along with the first one: [x] Just another part of me trying a lil test.

-

As per usual, Yamamoto went for an early morning jog as part of his conditioning regimen. It was important to him to keep in shape as well as making sure to set some time aside to lose himself in his thoughts.

He may be the Rain Guardian, but that didn’t mean he was always calm and gentle. He also had a side to him that could be dangerous and cold like the biting rain.

“Oh? Yamamoto-kun! Good morning!” A familiar and friendly voice calls out to him from behind and he slowly brings his pace to a halt, allowing for Haru to catch up to him. He didn’t expect to see a familiar face this morning, but it’s a nice change of pace to have a break in the usual routine.

“Mornin’! What are you doing out so early in the day? I thought I was going to see you at Tsuna’s place yesterday.” It was a common occurrence for them all to congregate at Tsuna’s place after school. Haru wasn’t always a presence at the Sawada household (she was a busy person), but she did try to drop by as much as she could before she had to leave for whatever it was she was doing.

It was either her needing to run errands, or going to tutoring lessons. Some days, she wouldn’t come over because she had her own club activities to attend to. Gokudera was the one who would make some kind of comment about how he wasn’t sure if Haru could even perform gymnastics properly.

He could only picture her messing up.

Haru did have a bit of a clumsy streak, he couldn’t deny that, haha. Still, it was clear that Haru had a streak of athleticism to her as well as an adventurous heart that paired well with her sense of dramatics. It’s always a surprise to know she’s not in the drama club rather than being someone who helps them with costumes from time to time.

Yesterday was one of the days Haru normally would have dropped by, yelled at Gokudera for bullying Lambo, and then play with the kid to allow the guys some peace while trying to finish their homework. It wasn’t to say that he only missed her presence because Lambo made focusing on their homework harder.

It wasn’t right to view her that way- but it always felt like something was missing if she wasn’t around to play with Lambo and I-pin.

A dramatic sniff.

“You see… Haru got caught by Hibari-san yesterday. She was forced into servitude for a few hours, so she wasn’t able to find time to visit Tsuna-san yesterday. A shame too, because she wanted to see Lambo-chan and I-pin chan.”

Startled, Yamamoto’s eyebrows furrowed with worry. Was Haru forced into servitude for hours? That didn’t seem very much like-

“Hahi! Haru is joking, you know? She wasn’t forced to work for nothing. She got to play with the hibirds. They’re very cute, you know?” He watched as she nervously flailed her arms around as if she’s frantically trying to clear Hibari’s name.

The athlete couldn’t help but chuckle quietly to himself. Sometwaswas hard to tell when Haru was being serious and when she was overexaggerating something for dramatic flair. Even if she was being dramatic, there was always some truth to what she was saying. ‘She probably was asked to something menial as punishment for trespassing. Hibari doesn’t act violently so thoughtlessly.’

Sure, Hibari Kyouya was known for having a temper and a penchant for violence, but it normally was warranted, albeit a bit extreme at times. He still upheld a level of decorum as the face of Namimori. He wasn’t a mindless thug like some people made him out to be.

If you were to ask Yamamoto, the guy acted violently based on necessity, and his mood. As a disciplinary officer, it was his duty to discipline unruly students and rule breakers. Some people don’t learn unless you beat it into them, and that’s probably what Hibari was doing—or so Yamamoto always hypothesized. He didn’t torment children, animals, and girls without a good reason for doing so.

There were some exceptions like the kid or Adelheid. Hibari’s patience towards animals was on another level. Looking at Haru again, an image of her eating her fill of cakes on appreciation day come to mind. ‘She does look like a hamster.’

Aside from the fact she wasn’t a student of Namimori and therefore outside of his jurisdiction (not that it would stop him anyways), maybe Haru’s hamster-like nature was a reason she would be spared from much of Hibari’s violent and scary outbursts. Her politeness should curb some of his anger to some extent.

“Haha, how did you get ‘caught’ by him anyways? Were you okay?” Knowing how Haru could be, if she was caught by Hibari and subsequently threatened/warned, she may have broken down into tears. The way she could go into hysterics at a flip of a switch was impressive by all means—but that also would piss off Hibari, no doubt.

He notes the way she blinks a few times in confusion, tilting her head in confusion. She looked like she was confused by his asking if she was okay. Was that not the normal response one would give when told ‘I got caught by Hibari’? Surely Tsuna would’ve been asking her a million questions out of concern by now.

“Haru is okay. Haru has been accosted by the disciplinary committee before for trespassing, but she’s not faced any harm.”

This wasn’t her first time being caught by Hibari or the other disciplinary committee members? How many times has it been already? Haru Miura was quite bold to repeatedly trespass onto Namimori grounds.  

“Haru sometimes drops off some treats for the birds when she has some time, but other times, Haru gets caught trespassing and she’s told to watch over the birds for a time.”

Hm? Doesn’t that mean that Haru has spent some time with Hibari without the rest of them knowing about it? How long has this been going on for? Somehow, Haru visiting to play with the birds didn’t seem unheard of. Haru has before walked up to the others and ask them to bring out their box animals to give them some pets. What was it she says all the time?

“You know, your box animals work so hard! They deserve to be spoiled every once in a while. Let them have some fresh air without the need to jump right into battle! So, Gokudera-san, bring out Uri. Haru brought fish treats for her.”

Wasn’t it Haru that coined the name Hibird for Hibari’s yellow buddies? What was their relationship that a nickname Haru came up with actually stuck?

“That reminds me, you were the one who coined the name ‘Hibird’ for his birds, weren’t you?”

“Oh!” She claps her hands with excitement. “Haru has always seen the bird perched on his shoulder or on top of his head. It always calls him like ‘Hibari, Hibari!’ It’s really cute.”

It was cute watching her mimic the yellow birds by flapping her hands like they were wings. Somehow that solidifies his theory that Haru is just a small animal that you’d feel bad for biting to death.

“It’s like… a pocket monster. Haru thought that ‘Hibird’ was a cute and fitting name. Somehow the name stuck.”

Never mind, there is a valid chance that she could get herself beaten to death if she voices half the things she thinks aloud. He’s sure that she’s smart enough to know what not to say around Hibari. All the horror stories Tsuna has told her about Hibari’s ‘violent tyranny’ probably had an impact on her.

‘Not enough to keep her away from Namimori or the birds, though.’ He mentally laughs at the thought. Was it that she was just bold or that cute things outweighed her fear? ‘With how Haru isn’t afraid to slap a future mafia boss because he was being a bad influence on kids, she probably thought cute birds outweighed Hibari’s scariness’.

Right you are, Yamamoto. Right you are.

“Sounds like you’re getting along with him just fine. Just be careful not to wake him. He gets cranky from what I hear. Aside from that, he’s not a scary guy.” In fact, Hibari is a reliable guy so as long as you don’t get on his bad side. It was always a relief to have him on your side when in battle, but it was also exciting when he was on the opposite team as well.

The memory of when Hibari joined Fon’s ‘team’ surfaces to the forefront of his mind and it brought about a bubbling sense of amusement from deep in his chest. That Hibari, he loved fighting too much. He gets it though.

Yamamoto would love to play baseball with all the teams in Japan and outside of the country as well! He loved baseball and testing out his skills against different players meant that he could potentially elevate his own level by broadening his horizons. How was it any different from when Hibari wanted to fight against strong fighters even if he may be at a disadvantage? You only improve by struggling and trying hard.

‘It does make it hard to coordinate with him though.’

That said, Hibari was a pretty simple guy as long as you knew what made him tick. As long as Haru was respectful, minded her volume, and continued to be nice to his birds, she should be fine. Yamamoto trusted that Hibari wouldn’t enact senseless violence on an innocent hamster-like Haru. He’d have severely misjudged Hibari if she ever does face harm by Hibari’s hand, however.

Haru playfully salutes, “Roger~ Haru will heed your advice. Haru won’t keep you from your morning jog for much longer. See you next time~” Haru waves him off and she starts walking off in another direction. He sets off on his jog again, starting slow before warming back up to a brisk jog.

“I didn’t know they got along that well that he allows her to play with his birds.” It didn’t seem like Hibari would allow the birds to associate with just any random person. Haru is a rather sociable person, so maybe she somehow warmed up to Hibari enough that he was willing to let her play with the birds.

“Is she changing targets?” He shakes his head and laughs, “Haru would hit me if I actually thought that.” The girl was wholeheartedly faithful to Tsuna, even if he didn’t pay her any attention. He offers her a silent apology in his head for doubting her for even a second.

He knows just how much she likes Tsuna and how despite knowing he’s obsessed with Kyoko, she wants to keep trying so she can proudly state that she did all she could before giving up.

That, is a story for another time.

Yamamoto enjoys the crisp morning air and continues on his jog, smiling when he sees a bird flying overhead. “A shame it isn’t one of his buddies.”

[obliviouskara]

top 5 supergirl episodes?

full disclosure i haven't seen the entirety of supergirl (ive literally only seen like 7 eps & its all season 1) so this list will probably change over time (bc im starting to painstakingly watch the show - imagine slowburn but watching a series) however ive watched like a ridiculous amount of supercorp edits so im going to base my choices on the parts where supercorp exist ha!

5. Season 1 - Red Faced

this would probably be the only none supercorp related yet still somehow my personal fave for a few reasons. i love this scene in particular bc it shows that cat grant cares for kara and what cat says here is very relatable. no matter how harsh cat can be at times, cat was a girl's girl here. she gave an advice which was helpful to both supergirl and kara. she had every right to rip kara viciously apart but instead she took a completely different route. i like the line she says here.

"You really need to figure out what's really bothering you." "You really need to find that anger behind the anger. And you really need to figure out what's really making you mad."

i think this was also the ep where kara acknowledged where some of the anger was coming from. even with zero dialogue and with mel's incredible acting skills she was able to convey so much emotions during that scene where she releases all her anger towards the red tornato. From losing her parents, losing her planet —her home, for losing everything and maybe even angry with her parents for the choices they made for her. it was such an incredible and very emotional scene.

im putting the rest in read more bc of how unnecessarily long this post has become

4. Season 2 - "The Adventures of Supergirl"

this should be easy. this was the first time kara met lena and changed the trajectory of every queer person watching this show and lena first delivered the first of many many questionably fruity (gay) lines fjlkajdla

"You couldn't have fooled me."

also bc of this scene thank you very much

3. Season 2 - "Luthors"

if there is one particular scene that convinced me to even give supergirl the time of day its obvs this one and lena "suspiciously straight" luthor delivered one of the most iconic lines on television in my opinion and now forever engraved in my mind. let's not forget lcorp CEO lena luthor took the time of day to fill catco employee kara danver's office with flowers like it's a regular tuesday but oh well

"now you'll have someone to stand up for you. always" "supergirl might have saved me but kara danvers, you are my hero."

screaming, crying, throwing up

2. Season 2 - "Exodus"

tada! i mean, look at it! how heroic! i also find it funny how grateful and confused lena was that kara danvers was having coffee with supergirl late at night but still

Season 2 - Ace Reporter

so this isnt at all groundbreaking bc honestly, 5 isn't enough and anything that has supercorp will be my favorite even though again i havent seen the rest of supergirl yet but we're ignoring canon so we're ignoring that fact too. i think this was the ep where kara was comforting lean about jack's death. i personally have a love and hate relationship towards this scene for many reasons but im a sucker for supercorp and there was a clip where kara hesitated and looked like she was about to plant a kiss on lena's head but then hugged her instead and i think its beautiful and im a sucker for kara leaning in towards lena

BONUS:

im too lazy to figure out where these clips are from which episode but this. i love every scene and its more like these below are my reasons for watching supergirl and has nothing to do with being my top 5 bwahaha

oh did i mention i also happen to have a weird obsession with superrojas i will not rest until i reach the ep where andrea rojas exist

[blusidez]

may recs!

** nsfw works ahead so 18+!!!!

neon signs - @pantoneyoongi ; yoongi x reader

- eek okay so hsm is still one of my favorite movies so i automatically knew i would love this. it was so cute seeing the guys hype yoongi up and he’s trying so hard to be humble 😭 i found myself rooting for this blooming couple the entire time!! such a refreshing read

in which series - @onlyswan ; jungkook x reader

- okay so i literally recommend every single installment of the in which series like the love you can feel between these two through writing is mind blowing 🤯 and it's done so beautifully. here's some of my faves this month!!

moving in together!  - i mean c’mon... this live was so iconic and there’s something so heartwarming about learning such a minuscule task like folding your partner’s underwear lol too lazy to shower alone ;) - i thought it was so funny how he just forgot to come back and shower bc chores distracted him like i relate so bad

you suck! - @ugh-yoongi ; seokjin x reader

- this made me realize how much i love vampire fics!!? the banter at the beginning between these two was so entertaining. seeing the relationship between them blossom and how they began to blend their lives together was actually so beautiful!! i never knew i needed twitch streamer jin until now. honorable mention to the supportive bffs tae and jungkook, we love u <3

obviously - @ugh-yoongi ; jungkook x reader

- my most beloved friends to lovers trope!!!!!!! it was so entertaining to see them genuinely believe they were tricking all their friends. like y’all are standing in a glass room!!!!

me and your mama - @joonberriess ; namjoon x reader

- i loveddd the story telling in this one! seeing the journey of their relationship was so sweet and ofc spicy. you can tell there’s just a special love between them, it shows there really is no timeline for love. i just love me a good joon fic too 🫶🏾

bts and types of kisses they remind me of - @melimelon-kawai ; ot7

- i miss my ot7 😔 this was such a sweet read

may 18 - @tattookoo ; jungkook x reader

- 1999, 2002, and may 18!!!! i just love the storyline! its really cute to see one date hold so much meaning and it was awesome to see the couple grow and how life panned out for them! i do not remember life back then lol so i think it’s really cool being transported back to those times with how they talk and everything, every detail is so thoughtful!

redamancy -  @eoieopda ; namjoon x reader

- plus lacuna!! i’m also a really big sucker for ex to lovers so wow omg i think seeing the growth between the two individually then together was really beautiful and one of the best parts. the ring in the teapot really got me like UGH it was so cute and such a nice detail

a little taste -  @jeonqkooks ; jungkook x reader

- this was literal smut so why was i smiling so much??! this was just a beautiful way to show the love between the two, the competitiveness and playful banter was just chefs kiss

love ring - @personasintro ; jimin x reader

- sparked my love for boxer jimin ngl. i love when it's obvious to literally everyone except for the two in the relationship. "i just want to be loved!" got me sooo bad i'm so happy they were able to take the chance for each other 🥹

how would they react if you liked each other but weren't dating - @seokjinsonlyone ; ot7

- ok imagining joon as a rizz master got me so bad. these all were so soft and cute i loved it. it felt perfect for each of them

marshmallows and report cards - @untaemedqueen ; taehyung x reader

- again i just love seeing relationships blossom! i too would fall for dilf tae especially if he kept making me chocolate chip cookies like !??! the whole storyline was written beautifully i loved this couple sm

oui - @pixieknj ; jimin x reader

- didn't find this in may but it's one i genuinely cannot stop going back to it's soo good.

"jimin was terrified of being found out, but never afraid to ask you to- "strip."

LIKE OKAY IM GAGGED! everything was just so good and the ending was so hilarious

new girl - @jjkeverlast ; jungkook x reader

- oh my gosh i got so giddy when this popped up! new girl is a comfort show so i knew this was going to be amazing and one of my faves. even though i know the plot of new girl i was still so entertained while reading this and on the edge of my seat rooting for them lol. also jimin being schmidt inspired was PERFECTION, the character development with hobi and tae too is just so enjoyable, i found myself laughing along often! i’m glad they’re all still so relevant to the plot. def one of my favorite series, i’m excited to see how this develops!! 🥹

grad school is draining the life out of me but i wanted to try and show appreciation to some amazing writers (and organize my collection finally)!!!

[moochalove]

Last Nights Mistakes and New Beginnings (Part 4-5)(Final)

(yandere!kazuha x pregnant!reader x scaramouche)

Did you know they call me the yappinator? Anyways i’ve been meaning to finish it but i’ve been busy w school but now i have the time so i will be yapping away more (posting a little more)🗣️ Get cozy bcs this is long asf!

Reader is bi-icon! (+ trauma) If imma be fr, the beginning is a little off bcs i wrote it weeks ago (im lazy and i will not fix it🥶) ANYWAYS ILL STOP YAPPING! TY FOR READING 🤭 (if u do😡)

word count: Pretty fucking long ❤️

proofread: HELL NO! 😋 fill in the gaps/mistakes for me pls🫶

TW: Stockholm syndrome

Arriving at the mall you think about making a break for it but these heels prevent you from doing so. With enough for the heel would surely snap though… Noted. Reaching for the door handle you’re stopped and pulled into a kiss. It’s a little uncomfortable but you play it off with a smile, “Don’t worry Kazu, I’m not gonna run off~” “I know darling, but this is the start of our new life so allow me to take the lead. Don’t worry your pretty mind about anything.” With that, he places one last peck onto your face. Once again, he is opening the door for you and you guiding you to the some shops. Immediately you notice his firm grip on your waist, and it’s uncomfortable. He said you would be buying clothes but you now realize he meant he was picking clothes FOR you. You’re in the dressing room and he has you trying on all these cute coquette clothing. It feels a little uncomfortable but you try to get used to the feeling of the outfits. Some are loose, and some are tighter. In your mind, you already knew which ones you liked based on the texture, design, etc..

Whenever you came out to show off an outfit you felt like a real couple. Showing off your outfit and making comments, no matter what you wore he seemed to agree it looked good on you, even if you didn’t think so. Something feels wrong about this but you can’t help but smile when he looks at you so adoringly.

You guys go to about three more shops, all of them having a different theme. By the time you were done, it was mid-afternoon. Both of your feet were killing you… not to mention you were hungry… You both agree to stop and get something to eat.

You arrive at a very familiar restaurant… Weren’t you just here? When was that though? If it was important surely you’d remember!

•

•

•

Scaramouche was frantic, to say the least. You weren’t answering his messages… Has something happened? He needs to get to you asap, but how? What if you’ve been removed from your home? If it came to it he could ask his mother to track you down, since she had that kind of power.

Knocking on the door he’s anxious, and hoping he would be met with a bright smile and worried hushing telling him that you were okay. After about a minute he knocks on your room window… No reply. Should he wait around? No, that’ll take too long. After some contemplation, he decides to reach out to his mom.

They have a long talk before she eventually caves. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s seen her child and when he comes back he’s on an adventure trying to get his girlfriend back. She didn’t think situations like that existed but he’s shown her the possibilities are endless. The way he talked about you so dearly gave her the impression you were a thing. Since she’s such a good and caring mother, it’s the least she can do for her future daughter!

Maybe he should’ve emphasized that you were just friends even though he wished for more

From what some super normal and not shady people told him, you were last seen at that restaurant you both had visited yesterday. Why were you there? That didn’t matter right now! Furrowing his eyebrows he sat there and thought long and hard. How was he going to get to you? Kazuha would most likely be glued to your side so directly approaching was out of the question. Could he signal you to him from afar? No, that probably won’t work… Pounding his forehead slightly he couldn’t form a good plan.

“You seem troubled, Doll.” A sly finger guided itself through his short purple locks.

“What do you want, Miko? I’m busy and-“

“You know it’s nice to run away then come running back when you need help. Your mother was on edge for weeks. Spending whatever free time she had looking for her poor child. Always looking for you despite her own needs.”

“Did you come to ask me what’s wrong only to turn around and try to guilt trip me? You don’t change, do you?”

Without saying anything she placed a bag next to him and then made her way to the door. Peeking through the bad he looked back to her fleeting figure before shouting out, “Wait! What is this for? You really expect me to forgive you with this bag full of clothes?! Plus, this has girl stuff in it anyways-“ “Silly Kuni! This is to help you get your girl back!” “Excuse me?!” Miko sighed while shrugging, “And you say your moms are no help! C'mon, you have to think outside the box, silly!” Taking the bag back she pulled out the cutest dress you’ve ever seen along with tights and heels. “It’d be stupid to approach her directly. You have no idea what kind of mental state she’s in, she may not trust any other man or claim she’s fine with her captor.” Digging deeper into the bag she pulled out a long wig that happened to be the same shade as his own hair, “So you have to coax her out as someone willing to understand and help her out of the situation!” Before he knew it he was all dolled up, shifting uncomfortably in the dress and trying to adjust his posture and his footing, constantly brushing his much longer locks back while puckering and rolling his lips that had a gloss applied to them. Would this really work?

“Miko, I don’t think this is gonna work… I don’t make a very convincing girl….” he awkwardly fussed with his bangs before glancing over at her. Miko held her phone up and with a click and a flash the very image of… whatever this was… saved onto her phone and probably being backed up to her cloud. “Oh, you look just like your sister!” Placing her phone back in her bag she shooed him out of the car before, then rolled down the window offering a few words, courtesy of her never-ending-kindness! “Just be kind to her, her heart will surely realize who you are... Or don’t! Maybe she’ll see through all of this!” Scaramouche could only grit his teeth as she motioned her hand at him. “I’ll be waiting here so once she comes to her senses I won’t be far. Plus! Wouldn’t want you to try and be all hero-like only to trip and fall in those cuttteee heels of yours!”

•

•

•

Spoonful after spoonful you swallowed whatever food had been shoved into your face. Were you even hungry? Not that it matters. At this point, you’ve come to treat this as if it were a real date! Yet your heart doesn’t skip a beat when he cups your face. A couple of people do glance over at you both awkwardly but that smile of yours tells them you’re just a young couple in love. It goes on like this for a few more minutes before beautiful swaying locks catch your eye, it’s true you’ve been ignoring the faces of those who’ve been passing by, but this face is stunning. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet each other. Now something about all this feels familiar but you can’t quite pin it down just yet. Kazuha notices how your attention is drawn away from him and he immediately pulls your chin towards him, “Is something the matter my love? You seem distracted.” He bluntly states as his eyebrows furrow slightly in frustration. “A-ah, no, I just…” Perhaps you were scared or maybe still stunned by that girls beauty but you can’t seem to form a coherent thought. He shifts around in his seat a little, ever so slightly moving his chair to block your view of the girl. With a short ‘ahem’ you brush it off as just seeing someone you thought you recognized.

If you look past his intense gaze you can still kinda see her fussing with her long hair. A waiter shows her to her table that so happens to be next to yours. You bite your tongue to hide a giggle when you see her awkwardly try to walk in heels, maybe she’s not used to them? Once she sits down it’s obvious she’s not used to wearing such feminine clothes, the way she keeps lifting her feet off the ground and sliding them farther out, or how she pulls the hem of her dress down even though it’s past her knees. The way she covered her mouth and spoke in a quiet meek voice told you maybe she was shy. Kazuha glanced at you both, almost trying to understand the connection you guys had but signed in defeat, “I’m gonna use the restroom then pay for our food. Don’t go anywhere.” And with that, he was gone but surely it wouldn’t take him long to be back.

Scaramouche had to be quick about this. The least he could do is get you outside.

Trying to keep his ladylike demeanor he tried starting the conversation with something normal. Of course, this meant he would have to speak a little louder in order for you to hear in the louder environment. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t “practiced” his female voice.

“Isn’t the food here the best?”

Taken aback by how cute she sounded you cover your mouth slightly. “She even has a cute voice!”, you thought to yourself. Once again stunned you take a moment to respond.

“Y-yeah!” your response is a little fast-paced but she just smiles in response. “Haha, you seem a little nervous, what, too stunned by my looks?” Even though he was supposed to be portraying a meek, innocent girl, he couldn’t help but still be cocky. It’s as if you were on autopilot with the way your response was the same yeah…

Part of you felt like that’s something he would say. Who was he again?

“It’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you agree? How about we get some fresh air?” The girl suggested so innocently that you’d completely “forgotten” what Kazuha told you NOT to do. As if you’d been under a spell you followed a girl you didn’t even know the name of out of the restaurant. Her name! You need her name! This can’t be the last time you see each other you need her contact info! You reach to where you would normally keep your phone only for your attention to be stolen away by her.

She handed you her phone that had a picture of a very certain cat. Your heart fastens as you start to recall some things, you couldn’t submit to someone who only half-loved you. No, you had to get home to your first baby. Tears threaten to spill as everything comes back faster than you can comprehend.

He didn’t love you, no, he never did. If he did he would’ve stayed the first night. He was just looking for something to sedate his own woes. You come to the realization that your delusions you made up to protect yourself were false. You haven’t been in love for years like your mind had told you, you don’t know what he really feels, you just filled in the blanks with lies your mind fed you. In reality, you’ve probably only really known each other for a couple of days, during those 4 months you spent pregnant and alone your brain spun a story as if you were real lovers. Hating yourself could come later but for now, you need to get a grip and get out of here. Suddenly you’re caught up to speed and all it feels like you’re gonna vomit, your clothes feel tighter and you can feel your own skin, every pore feels open and you hate every second of it. What feels like hours is only a matter of seconds.

A hand is gently wipes your tears away,

“It’s time to go, Y/n.”

“I cant.. I’m sacred. I-“

“Don’t be. I'm here now, and I’m not letting you go.” He looked so serious, although a little funny since he was still in his getup.

Reaching for your wrist he gently and slowly led you farther away from the establishment and closer to your getaway car.

Both of your steps got faster and faster. You didn’t want to look back, no, you shouldn’t.

A voice you’ve come to hate shouts out to you. Ears pound loudly and your heart skips several beats when you hear fastened footsteps approaching. A wave of pain crashes onto you when your lower back aches in pain. You stop even though you don’t want to and clutch your stomach in retaliation.

You have to move right now otherwise he’ll catch up. Scaramouche turns back around for you and effortlessly picks you up and carries you to the car. When he turned to place you in the car he’s sure Kazuha has seen his face. Crap… Not like it mattered right now. He rushes to the other side of the car but is pulled back by a hand that is placed on his back, it’s cold and uncomfortable. Almost as if it triggered something in him he shouts and pushes him back into the ground.

Once Scaramouche is in the car Miko doesn’t hesitate to slam on the gas pedal and get you both somewhere safe.

Final Part:

When you wake up you’re in a very comfy bed. Moving your legs a little you wince uncontrollably. Memories come flooding back and your eyes dart to where Scaramouche is sitting. A smile makes itself known on your face and you reach out to him. He melts into your touch but avoids looking at you. You know you messed up big time by not running away from Kazuha like you should have… But you were in a deranged state! Surely he won’t blame you completely. Breaking the silence you ask him what’s wrong.

“I know we kinda just met but I hope you know I love you…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact. “I always have… It’s a shame you don’t remember me. If you did then I guess you could technically say we didn't just meet.”

Huh? You two knew each other? Maybe he’s got the wrong person. Innocently you ask, “Have we met somewhere before? I’m sorry but I don’t seem to ever recall-“ “Just take a good look at me and try to recall. We used to be playmates when we were little. Your parents were busy like mine so they would drop us off at that one daycare.” Your eyes squint as you take a good look at him, “And we went to school together for a little while- I tried stealing your pen-“ Eyes widening you can’t help but burst out laughing.

Now you remember him!

“It’s you! I- How could I forget? Oh my gosh, it seems work has made me forget my younger days!” Covering your mouth to hide a smile you can’t help but laugh a little louder. His face seems upset but eventually melts into a smiling one along with you. For a couple of moments you both laugh and exchange playful banter. Everything in the world is right at that moment.

But once again, your mistakes will catch up with you.

After the laughing dies down he squeezes your hand and places a handle on your stomach. This causes you to shift uncomfortably but you try to play it off as a cramp.

“When the Doctor came to relay your status he told me one bit of information that… you probably didn’t want me to know.”

Oh shit. Oh shit- Your heart fastens and you try to muster out a response but it hitches in your throat. “I-I canexplain p-please let me-“You fumble your words and tears pool up in your eyes.

With an affirmative squeeze to your hand he smiles softly, “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not- I messed up and now-“ You covered face with your hand, attempting to hide yourself away from him.

“And now- we can work this out, together. I promise I will do my best to be a good parent. If you’d just give me a chance- A chance to take care of you and your child. I would do anything to be with you once and for all. Please, Y/n, don’t leave me again.” His hand came up to yours pressed against your face, and slowly removed it from you.

A part of you feels raw, and exposed, yet, this time it’s different. Part of your brain tells you to run from his affection but the other part feels so defeated that you just want to cry into his chest and beg him to stay with you. Lucky for you he was willing to stay with you. Even if you were going to have your kidnapper's baby. Leaning into him you cried out all your sorrows that had been bottled up for the past couple of months. All he could do was rub your back and listen to you cry your heart out.

It felt good to finally tell someone how you truly felt. How much has been troubling you? Although you’re sure if you were to tell this to a professional you’d been locked up….

After you’re done crying you wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your chest and shoulders feel lighter. The whiplash of everything could hit you later, you couldn’t care less right now. All you wanted to do was eat, stretch, and take a nap.

Scaramouche looked at you dead in the eye and you feared the worst. Was he joking? Did he actually hate you and never want to see you again? Did-

“Goddamit- I dropped my wig…”

You stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing. “That’s a shame! You didn’t look half bad in it~” you joked. “Oh please- You were head over heels for me and you know it!” “Ah, you got me there! Who knew you’d make such a fine girl! If only you could say the same about you know-Ow!” he punched your shoulder gently, but considering your current state it hurt more than he intended. “I’m sorry, Y/n- I-“ He checked the area to see if it was bruised or anything but was immediately met with a flick to the forehead. “Ow-!” “Haha, got you!” “You little-“

Both of your bickering would soon die down as soon as his parents would enter the room. It was obvious how you both turned stiff as boards. Acting as if you weren’t pulling each other’s hair like you once had.

Ei placed some flowers on the bed stand and Miko would sit down on the bed with some sweets in hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Y/n.” Ei bowed politely, “I’m not sure if my son had mentioned us to you. If not it’s alright- But we are his parents.” Miko started feeding some cake with a fork as she nodded along. “I’m very happy to see you make my son happy. It used to worry me that my son would die alone-“she feigned a tear falling from her eye. “MOM.” Blush spread across Scaramouche’s face as he crossed his arms. “Ah, excuse me, that’s beside the point! What I mean to say is that you shouldn’t worry about the wedding founding- Your new moms will buy you everything you will need-“ “THATS NOT ANY BETTER!” He exclaimed even redder. She smiled so innocently all while still looking a little confused. Miko finally chimed in, “What she means to say is that she supports you both no matter what. Even if you don’t think she agrees with you,” she turned her head towards him, “she believes you both will make the right choice. We hope you both can treat this as a new beginning. As I like to say, carpe diem!” “You never say that.” Ei tilted her head with a soft smile. “Well, I do now!”

All four of you burst out laughing. You guys talk a little more before they leave for their business dinner. Once again you and Scara are alone.

“Are you really sure you’re okay with marrying a pregnant woman?” “Of course I’m fine with it, since it being you and all.” Rubbing the back of his head he laid his head down on the bed, “Are YOU sure you wanna get married right away? Just because my mom mistook us for dating already doesn’t mean we should skip that part… Plus, what if you don’t like who I am…” You pet his soft purple hair with a smile, “Well, as long as you promise not to be a complete asshole, then I suppose we’ll be just fine!” “You think I’m an asshole?” “Haha, anyways…. What kind of wedding cake should we have? I was thinking of a [favorite flavor] cake! Ooohh and we can look at the different types of venues! Ah, I guess after that we need to plan a baby shower!”

He’d completely tuned you out and just stared at you, lovingly. Your skin glowed perfectly from the artificial light, and that smile of yours was perfect. You no longer looked tired and stressed; instead, you looked happy and not so tired. He couldn’t blame his ex-friend for falling for you. Although he feels a little jealous that he’s seen parts of you that now belong to his eyes only now.

Fingers tap up and down on the bed as if he’s contemplating something. You take notice and tap his shoulder, you ask if he’s listening. Suddenly he gets up- His soft lips are placed against your slightly chapped ones. It’s warm. Your eyes widen in surprise as you slowly melt into the kiss.

Once he pulls away you’re both gasping for air. Out of embarrassment, he hides his face in your neck. He’s embarrassed- you are too. “A-a little warning would’ve been nice. I was talking yknow?” “Shut up before I kiss you again..” You knew he was too embarrassed to do it again so you teased, “Yeah, I think you’d like that-“ Instead of another passionate kiss he instead peppered kisses all over your face. “I hate you.” “I love you, Scara.”

•

•

•

The wedding went amazing since his parents had done most of the planning (of course you both directed them) And your baby shower went just as well! Initially, you were both worried a certain someone would catch wind of it- and you’re sure he did. Thankfully the place was heavily guarded (, courtesy of Miko) and was also in a secluded area, along with there being a very strict guest list. You both already knew the gender so the part just consisted of fun baby shower games and many gifts from your friends and families.

You had been getting intensive therapy for the rest of your pregnancy. Those couple of months left you with deeper wounds than you had thought. Of course, you still have trouble with going out on your own and you’ve completely dropped going out (since you’re a mother now ofc) When you do have to go out alone you wear your hair differently each time along with a mask and sunglasses. Whenever someone gets a little too close they happen to get stopped by someone. Your bad dreams usually consist of you trying to run away but your legs move slowly or trying to scream but nothing comes out, and other things you’d rather not discuss...

Your delivery went well and luckily you gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Ei and Miko informed you that you had a week to name him. On the fifth day, you and Scara decided on [name], since you both liked the name and agreed on it. When both of the families came to see him you got the chance to meet Scara’s aunt and sister (who both happened to be named Makoto, although Scara called his sister Raiden since she was “scary”) The boy was blessed with your hair color (he has a red streak through it) but had his fathers eyes. At first, it scared you but with some affirming words from both sides of the family and your lover, you’ve grown to love them.

Some of your friends and family didn’t approve that Scara wasn’t the father, some even berating you and calling you names. The name-calling mostly came from Scara’s side of the family. Area

On your son's first birthday, he spoke his first words. “Mama!” You nearly cried tears of joy when he said that. Scaramouche frowned and pinched the boy's cheeks gently with a huff. Much to his surprise the boy spoke again, “Daddy!” Now both of you were crying tears of joy. You swaddled your boy in the softest blankets before you both cuddled him off to sleep. Both not believing you had been blessed with such a joy.

Once your son has gotten a little older he learned how to say the cat’s name, always gesturing his hands and babbling, “Meowmeow!” The now healthier cat would come to the boy and rub its head against your son accompanied by a purr.

Once he turned two years old you noticed how he started taking after his father, often mimicking him by making an angry face and huffing. All you could do was smile and kiss him while his father pouted behind you both. One time you had joked around with your young son by asking him, “What face does daddy make when he’s angry” and your son crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. You burst out laughing while your husband messed with his hair pretending to be upset.

You went back to work while Scara was a stay-at-home husband. On stressful days you would come home, sore and tired, but the moment your eyes laid on Scara’a resting figure along with your sons. Well, your heart simply melted into mush as you took about 30 pictures of them from all angles. You were convinced that all of the time you spent alone and suffering was worth it for this moment.

It felt like that person was a bad dream- but now, you’re wide awake and ready to face the future with your loving husband, and adorable son.

Gawdamn I don’t stop yapping🙏 If you read all of this ty pookie!! there will be a $10 mil block of gold under your pillow when you wake up 😍😋 I will be writing some hcs (maybe) and a scenario where u encounter kazuha w your kid soon!!! (i promise) Anyways i’m knocking tf out… BAI><!!

♡ taglist: @swivy123

[phanyaoi]

Dil Howlter remake

(for outfits i'll be using the screenshots from wiki bc it's faster)

heres a close up of his face. i made him have dimples after his dad. also i chose the hair bc hes suppoused to be old and cringe and they made him in the emo fringe era. i cant stand him looking cool, when hes an old cringey dad in a young mans body. also i tried to get his features off of shitty screenshots. and for his body i was looking at the 1st pic from when they were creating him and he was young the 1st time

Everyday outfit

so ofc this tshirt is iconic so he wears it on the 2nd outfit, but i had this cc tshirt downloaded and decided he must be wearing it. dab would cringe at him so much and that is the point.

2. Formal outfit

this wasn't so bad, but i feel like it made him look really old and it looked weird around the waist so i just changed it into another sims red suit. its not the best but sims didnt gave me anything better and im too lazy to download more rn.

3. Athletic outfit

okay so they wanted a blue zip up jacket, but i am not allowing that man to wear shorts this short. also he is the son of phil so let him be like that. at least it's better than that full leather cowboy outfit or smt lol.

4. Sleep outfit

okay so here i made him an outfit based on theirs but i also couldnt help myself doing a normal one lol sorry dads.

5. Party outfit

this was the point beyond saving, but they said to randomise one outfit so what i did i randomised an outfit again then fixed it? if that makes sense. bc i didnt wanna put him in a shiny slick white leather pants with a mesh tshirt and definitely not that hat. also he has bisexual nails.

6. Swimwear

hm, pretty normal, i just added more color to the actual swimshorts and not the top

7. Hot weather outfit

listen, i did not care what the new outfit was, because his mpreg purple crop top was iconic and he deserves to serve that look.

8. Cold weather outfit

i refuse to let that llama thing down so i gave him that and also i think hes now matching tabitha? and well, i just realised thats literally his sports outfit soooooo i just tried to put him in smt similar lol

anyway thats all<33 next will be tabitha

[girlymatsu]

have u thot of osoeri as old geezers together, like 80s or so? theyd be so adorable hehe, still super crazy abt each other after all these years and causing a ruckus in the bingo room, erina is turning heads wherever she goes bc shes still wearing her iconic gyaru style n looks so fine😁🥰 (imagines oso scaring off other old men w his cane bc he saw them look at her cjbcksns) walking in the mall together for exercise in matching leopard print tracksuits and feeding pidgeons at the park! or maybe not :0! what do u think old osoeri would be up to?

AUGHHH YESSSS I HAVEEE I mean I have an au where they meet in their 40s-50s and fall in love later in life which I hold very dearly but that’s more middle aged— elderly osoeri is sooo cute I think you hit it nail on the head that they’d still be very goofy and childish and cause even more scenes because they’re old and care less about their consequences LOL

Erina in her 40s-50s had gotten a bit insecure and dressed less flashy getting older but when she becomes older older she gets back into dressing up all the way being a cutie old gyaru again <3 and Osomatsu is a lazy old man who mostly wears robes but yes they would def still wear couples clothes… they still chase each other around even if they’re slow and have weak hips… chewing each other with their gums.. life is slower there’s not much going on but they find something to do everyday with each other… taking walks and yes feeding the birdies and koi.. and if u thought Osomatsu was intense at mahjong back then he goes crazy gambling at the old folks home!!! A lot of handholding and wandering together..

[thasorns-moved]

tag game ✨

I got tagged a long time ago by a mutual who went private... it's friday night and look at that I HAVE some time to do it :)

1. why did you choose your url?

just look at Emi and then we can talk again. Have you seen her? <3

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

juhotonin - is a kpop blog (even though I neglected it a bit)

alexreggies - yes, sometimes I reblog different things on this (thasorns) blog but this one is specifically for western things

kaiosmichiru - anime

I have another one where I only post gifs but never told anyone about it

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

probably since 2009. I used to have another blog but moved to my current one in 2012

4. do you have a queue tag?

used to have # queue to my life, # queueing things bc its quarantine things but now I'm just using q. bc I’ve become lazy

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

before this blog I was a dedicated fanblog about marko marin and sideblog was very multifandom and then I moved and stayed multifandom 

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

buttercup is THE mvp

7. why did you choose your header?

a tale of thousand stars do I need to say more (if you didn't watched it, THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

this, mind that I was a beginner in gif making and you can see that in this 

9. how many mutuals do you have?

maybe I forgot one or two but the last count was 79 love you all 💕

10. how many followers do you have?

 more than i would expect and deserve but I appreciate every each one of you 🥰

11. how many people do you follow?

I'm surprised that after 12 years I don't follow more but I also go on a unfollow spree sometime anyway it's 372 people

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

no. don't think so. I used to say a lot about shows I watch. does this count as a shitpost? Idk

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

is that really a question? like? every day

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no i'm staying in my bubble and be happy

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

i dont do it to be oppositional 

16. do you like tag games?

even though I try to participate as much as I can and not forgot about it I'll do it because they're fun and it's nice to see other perspectives or opinions on things

17. do you like ask games?

I rarely do it because I think no one would send me asks

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first which comes to mind is sabrina @moonkhao

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

what does crush even mean?

claire @clairedaring @poomphuripan is such a cutie. The way she does so much for the msi community but at the same time highlights other lakorns and find the strength and time to gif it, so other ppl on here could watch it. always so nice and patient ❤️

an honorable mention: cata @kittychicha because I would've never thought that we would become friends and talk on a regular basis about everything and it is fun and lovely to talk with you and get to know you 🧡

Another honorable mention would be vish @morkofday because have you met her? Her mind is already enough. The way she thinks and sees things in perspectives - a reason to fall in love. Not even joking. Our dead friend forever days were precious for me 💕

20. tags?

@morkofday @itsallaboutbl @clairedaring @pondsphuwin @patchanons @milkpansa @kittychicha @jimmysea @loveisactivated

[transmutationisms]

this is so stupid but like so do u know about total institutions as defined in Erving Goffman's Asylums? uh if yes. do you think that reality tv shows that basically separate the contestants into a house where they are constantly on film, being prodded by producers, in some cases don't even have access to phones, etc. like is that a total institution? are reality shows inherently manipulative? do you think people dying by suicide after appearing on shows like Love Island are related to this? is there any scholarship on reality tv?

sorry if u know none of this I thought to ask u bc my initial thought was "the bachelor house is a bit like a psych ward." which is an insane thing to think. but truly I think shows like Jersey Shore, Rock of Love, Married at First Sight, Ultimatum, etc. that ply contestants with alcohol while controlling every aspect of contestants life for weeks are like. like thats bad. and then people harshly judge them for their behavior! like a psychiatrist saying a patient is very ill bc they do badly in a high level of care.

i don't think it's stupid. i don't really read much on this but yes there is definitely scholarship on reality tv---these shows are media objects and cultural productions as much as any 'prestige' drama.

obviously a tv shoot differs from an institution proper in that it's a temporary arrangement. however, the level of control and surveillance participants are subject to is something you would rarely see outside the conditions of an institution, and there is certainly something heterotopic about many of these sets as a kind of 'local institution'.

i think some of the most interesting shows have made this part of their conscious onscreen presentation. plenty of people have written about 'big brother' as a conscious gamification of the experience of being subjected to neoliberal workplace surveillance, for example. then there's something like 'secret eaters', which iirc literally had a little security camera icon on its title card even? that one didn't restrict people's movement, but if anything it did imply that doing so would have been in their best interests---because it was the unrestricted, unsurveilled eating behaviours that were configured as the result of laziness / lack of knowledge / lack of willpower, and the cause of weight gain.

so, if 'big brother' demanded the affective performance of enjoyment from those in an institution-like setting, 'secret eaters' presented the panoptic surveillance state as a benevolent kind of medical overlord, and the wayward citizen as someone insufficiently disciplined and too free for their own good. you can see variations on this latter argument in, eg, 'supersize vs superskinny', or any of the programs about weight-loss 'camps', or, on the meaner and more american end, 'the biggest loser' and even many episodes of 'my 600lb life'.

this is obviously a little different from the question of whether the shoot itself is institutional, which is essentially a question about working conditions. i watched a lot of 'america's next top model' as a teen and i remember even then thinking it was a leetle fucked up how much control the producers seemed to have over the contestants. so like, again i would say pretty much all of these shows that isolate participants in some closed house or whatever are patterned off institutional models of control, restriction, and surveillance, even though obviously they're not permanent commitments and they also usually allow some contact with the outside (grocery shopping or photoshoots or what have you).

i do also think there's something to be said about reality as a genre that often finds success by capitalising as cheaply as possible on some common social anxiety or malaise. so, the neoliberal workplace of 'big brother' and the success of weight loss shows following declarations of an 'obesity epidemic' in the us and uk. but then there's also, say, a franchise like 'survivor', which flourished in the post-9/11 years and often operated in a particular ecological niche that married body demands (strength, thinness) to the obvious survivalist fears. there was kind of a double reassurance being sold there: if civilisation collapses, you, too can learn to sustain yourself just like these starving people on a tv shoot; but also, look at how these bodies are becoming more disciplined, such that they can successfully perform physical challenges that we market as having some resemblance to military training exercises...! i remember even 'antm' dabbled in that a bit: the phrase "model boot camp" got thrown around more than once, and in the first couple of seasons there was more of an emphasis on 'fitness' and even a couple of challenges that were basically just "wear camo and pretend to do an obstacle course" lmao.

i guess to return to your initial question... there are ways in which a reality shoot often mimics, temporarily, characteristics of an institution; and then there are also ways in which it presents institutionalisation, or aspects of it, onscreen. so, without flattening the distinction between being on a reality show and being institutionalised, there's a lot to unpack here about reality as a genre that frequently constructs itself around the functions of, and justifications for, the institution.

to oversimplify (and certainly there are exceptions and edge cases) i think you could say that where scripted tv tends to rely on the closed family home or the workplace as its sphere of narrative construction, reality is more likely to construct a kind of temporary fantasy setting where contestants can be subjected to the kind of surveillance and restrictions typically associated with an institution or at least a high-control group. and this is both because of producers' need to generate 'drama', and because the shows are often successful precisely by replicating and intensifying those elements of control and surveillance that are (perceived to be) on the rise even outside of the total institution.

[millipede-menace]

The bands back together! And they’re old lol

Art Notes/Rants below ⬇️

⚠️Warning⚠️

it is very long, I got a lot to say apparently lol

❗️They’re all aged up btw! In case you’re all wondering why i’m even redesigning them lol

🐱Chizu Mini Rant: I hate Chizu’s design in the show. Not the clothing more so the body model. I hate that they made her the stereotypical curvy cat girl with a tiny hourglass waist and tiny hands and feet. Really weird proportions, Like we’re going back to the betty boop era but no one else in the show looks like this? (Also, No hate to people who are curvy btw love you) It just doesn’t feel like it belongs in the show. Maybe if she were shorter, it would work better? Idk Also she’s like the only one in a full skin tight suit (like I get animation, but they didn’t even bother giving her implied loose clothes or armor like the other ninjas? Maybe bc she was undercover? but then she should’ve been wearing something closer to the bg character models) It’s like they’re trying to make her sexy but like why?????? for why????

I really liked the concept art of Chizu. She’s got a more sharp/rigid and square silhouette but still some curves (w/o it being weird). She still has tiny hands but her head isn’t the size of a watermelon and her face isn’t super tiny, the proportions are good. She’s all power stanced up lol She looks mean and menacing, someone not to trust or mess with. It’s literally spot on. ✨chef kiss ✨ It’s also probably why they didn’t really go with it, they probably rounded her out to be more appealing for the reveal? or she was hard to animate cause she did have baggier pants idk. Who am I, but a rando with a hard boiled egg for brains.

Art Notes: I took a lot of inspiration from the comics and I did want to keep her iconic red so she was still recognizable & stand out from the neko ninja. I made her a regular black cat! (with the idea of black cats being less likely to be adopted & be strays) (;-;) (I know she was kidnapped but still!! The stray cat vibes!!!) I gave her a more lean and tall figure, kinda like the comics but also to play off of Kistune’s height and it give scrawny stray cat vibes . . . again lol. It’s also a body shape I don’t see a lot in physically strong female characters (or maybe I do and just don’t remember? Idk but she can definitely kick your ass & she’s not here for anybody’s bullshit lol) I gave her the iconic ponytail from the comics along with the comb Kitsune usually wears. I wanted to give her green eyes (bc black cat & red and green) but i just kept them yellow. Maybe i’ll go back and change them. Her outfit is mostly inspired from Karai (bc she’s a ninja from eons ago & the gang is a little more traditional) just (pretend cuz i’m lazy) with traditional Japanese patterns. Chizu definitely got kunais and stars up her sleeves, but bc she doesn’t have to be a ninja anymore, I imagine her more into wearing pretty dresses with patterns and cute things. Stuff she never got to wear/ enjoy as a kid, you know. The show really wants to push her to be a bad ass girl boss who hates everyone and everything and is too cool and edgy for games but idk. I like to think she left the ninja stuff behind her and started living her own life based on exploring things rather than just being the cool ninja with an edgy backstory. I think she uses ninjitsu as a means of self defense but doesn’t like being connected to it b/c of the kidnapping and stuff. (We also see how she doesn’t really care about the tradition of ninjitsu cause during the show, she has no fucking clue what to do with the neko ninja, she just wanted them to stop hurting people and wanted to free the babies lol) Usagi and Kitsune are the ones who indulge her childish side. She wears a lot of red but her favorite color is pink. Kitsune def hypes her up and goes feral when she wears pink.

🦊 Kitsune Mini Rant: I hate Kitsune’s clothes in the show. Idk it just doesn’t look right on her. It’s got no shape it’s got no hiding spots for stolen goods. It’s not Kitsune. I like the concept art fit, it’s really cute. (She looks like a mini tank who will fuck you up in a cute way) but still #1 thing missing. Hiding spots for stolen goods!!! She needs some loose sleeves or flowy clothing like in the comics. (btw: I know it would be harder to animate in the show therefore I accept what they gave her but still!!!)

Art Notes: I’m not too sure about Kitsune’s fit tbh. I’m still workshopping it. She just needs something with loose sleeves! (Like she for sure is stealing shit and putting it up her sleeves, you can’t tell me i’m wrong/ it’s also where she could keep her fans!) I think i’m obsessed with her sleeves cause I imagine her gambling or playing a game of cards with a bunch of dangerous criminals and someone accuses her of cheating and she goes “What?! Me?! No, no. I’m just that good or maybe . . . you’re just that bad-” Then all the stolen cards fall out her sleeves and she just goes -fuck. and it turns into this picture vvv

ANYWAYS!!!! I gave her short hair bc idk, a girls gotta change it up sometime 💅 I actually liked her hair mimicking a fox tail but I feel like she would get bored of it and chop it all off one day. She's definitely the one who cuts and dye’s her hair at 1am then cries about it the next day. She’s got visibly longer ears and sharper face. Kitsune and Usagi wanted to get piercings together cause they’re besties and want to be edgy (she lowkey got it on her left ear to match Chizu) and so they did and Usagi’s Auntie was so PISSED lol. They got chewed out. Her hands and feet should be a little darker but i forgor. Also she’s got dark teal wrappings so it would be hard to tell anyways. I gave her the crop top with buttons from the concept art and the sleeves from the comic. They have the same maple leaf print from her comic too (i’m just lazy) and the cuffs are just lined to mimic the layers she had. She’s got her little pack, she’s also got some more smaller ones on the back (kinda like Leo). She also made a comment about not having money to buy herself shoes so . . . she’s got no shoes lol. It just wrappings under her shin guards. (no shoes just like Leo smh) It helps her be more sneaky tho >:)

Oh and they’re dating but i feel like that’s a given lol. I saw people shipping them at first and it literally went -> *sees ship* Oh they’re shipping the only two main female characters together again- yeah that’s greeeat- *Watches the show* oh. nvm I retract my sarcasm, they’re def gay for each other, thats nice. This is nice -w-

which is pretty funny, cause I think they don't like each other in the comics? (from what I saw in the singles panels I used as a reference at least) Chizu’s legit ready to kill Kitsune lol

Post Note: I totally forgot Chizu chose a bow and arrow as a weapon so now she’s just the stereotypical tall archer . . . i’m gonna go now ;-;

Gen Mini Rant: Holy Moly dudes, he was sooooo hard to draw ;-; I don't hate his design at all, actually it's one I like the most. I just don't like that there's not a lot of contrast on the 3D model and he kind just blends into a purple blob. (for me at least) I defiantly didn't do him justice but that's the best it's gonna get (from me that is.)

Art Notes: Don't look the feet . . . for any of them but mostly Gen lol. I don't really like the purple I chose but every color combo I did just looked bad idk. I can't do color, don't look at me man. Me and purple do not mix. He's still a bounty hunter so I wanted to keep his armor but I wanted him to have a long tail-coat/cape-ish jacket cause he would look cool as hell with one of those >:) (prob not practical but still) I wanted to add elbow and knee pads, but he's a rhino, he can take it. Also how can bad guys hurt him if he's too busy beating them up with his brass knuckles? He's still got his clubs but he likes clanging his fists together. lol His horn grew back! He's also got a goatee and everyone makes fun of him. The gang always threatens to shave it off in his sleep. I took more inspo from the show than the comic cause I don't really know Gen in the comics and what I did find was just miyamoto usagi but purple ;-; (clothes wise)

I wasn’t kidding, I had a lot to say, any survivors?

Feel free to suggest or critic my designs!! :0 Im not a design person and its mostly just for fun, but i looooove hearing people’s takes, especially hot takes >:) i like poking brains, its fun ^^

[bloody-wonder]

assuming you've read tsc, what are ur thoughts?

mixed feelings, anon!

on the one hand, tsc is just another confirmation that nora is a talented writer - i think the dialogue especially is where she really excels. the reading experience was overall very fun, i did enjoy seeing my faves again. neil is an icon, obviously. the culture clash between jean and the trojans was Comedy Gold. and it was interesting to see an exploration of a different trauma response than we've seen in aftg in jean.

on the other hand, i feel like jean's story in tsc mirrors neil's story in aftg - a troubled youth joins an exy team where he will make new friends and get better mentally - but is like. a simplified and less compelling version of that. it's good that jean is his own character, i don't need him to be a copy of neil, but i gotta say - neil's cameo appearances totally stole the show and made me wonder why i wasn't reading a book about him instead. however, it's all the other characters who were the real problem - it felt like i'm reading a version of aftg where a less fun iteration of neil joins an exy team consisting just of the upperclassmen and nicky hemmick which uhhh,, if you've read some of my old posts you know how i feel about him so there was no chance in hell i'd like cat alvarez and her whole shtick. the foxes felt good for the soul bc there was a balance between the upperclassmen's and the monsters' type of care for neil - and crucially neil chose the latter group to be his close circle, among other things, bc he felt they could understand him better. by constrast, jean is alone with the trojans who don't give any credibility to his claims that they just can't understand what he went through, don't respect his right to keep his trauma private and just keep trying to force his "recovery". aftg felt like a bunch of freaks with various but equally fascinating issues put in close quarters and you watch them sometimes butt heads, sometimes uplift each other in the most unexpected ways. tsc however felt like a bunch of normies bullying a traumatized kid - so basically one of those obnoxious fics where the upperclassmen are all in neil and andrew's business.

jean's bisexuality was a double-edged sword too: on the one hand, i felt very smug reading about how his attraction works bc 1) it's so obviously different from neil and 2) wow turns out years of psychological, physical and sexual abuse do not in fact take away your sexuality! le gasp! surprised fucking pikachu!! crazy how through all of this jean is still bi. the human spirit is unbreakable. (unless your mom hits you for kissing a girl, then it's breakable). so i did feel vindicated but at the same time this was not relatable to the point that i can't see myself getting invested in jean and jeremy's developing relationship. nothing is more of a turn off for me in fictional romances than when both of them are immediately attracted to each other and let the reader know in no uncertain terms. where are the mind games? where are the intricate rituals? it feels like a lazy shortcut. but good for them, i guess?

sooo idk. i didn't hate tsc by any means but i'm sad i didn't enjoy it as much as my mutuals😭

[autisthottygoth]

I was tagged by @sassybluee !

1. why did you choose your url?

I had it as my twt user first and then moved it over here bc my old url was too specific and for a fandom I didn't really participate in anymore (vibraniumstarbucky)

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

I have 7 side blogs lolol I really only use kilisbovv now for my tolkien stuff, the others have kind of died, one was a Tolkien RP blog, one is a photography blog, two were priv/personal, and one is from my witchcraft phase

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Since the end of 2013 I think???

4. do you have a queue tag?

No I'm too lazy to queue things

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

One Direction

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I saw the pic and almost died laughing so I made it my pfp

7. why did you choose your header?

I'm gay

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

It's either the one about WWX skateboarding or the one that I meant to post on my side blog but accidentally posted on main about Sauron naming Grond after his bf's dick

9. how many mutuals do you have?

17, but I think half of them are dead blogs

10. how many followers do you have?

761 for some reason, but again I think half of them are dead blogs

11. how many people do you follow?

117

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

My entire blog is just shitposts

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Too often tbh

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

I ignore them

16. do you like tag games?

Depends on the tag game

17. do you like ask games?

Yes, I also wish more people would just send me asks about random dumb shit pls I miss old tumblr

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I'd consider @whatthebec Tumblr famous but I've just been following them for so long that it would be weird not seeing them on my dash probably

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

No

20. tags?

Uhhhh idk @spicymulligan @jstanthrghoul @bondagebird ?????