#((Can't begin to thank everyone who's followed / supported me through this journey!))

[mydadleft471]

A Jester Indeed

Summary: You've heard tales of Messmer the Impaler from other Tarnished. They say he's a monster, that his flame will burn through your armor to the bone, and that he is not to be trifled with. So what happens when you, a not-so-serious individual, fight the Impaler and show him mercy?

Spoilers for Elden Ring and Shadow of the Erdtree. Some warnings of violence, fighting, blood, and a stupid Tarnished.

This was a request from anonymous! They requested, "Messmer with a Tarnished reader who chose to spare him at the end of their battle, and she frequently comes by to annoy him." This was so fun, thanks anon! I wasn't sure how to incorporate the Tarnished coming back to annoy him, so I just made her a little shit whenever possible lmao. Hope you like it!

As always, thank you for reading, liking, reblogging, and commenting! I've gotten back into writing because of everyone's continued love and support and I can't begin to thank you guys enough! <3

You were so in over your head.

Traveling to the Land of Shadow was an ordeal all by itself. As you carved your path of carnage throughout the Lands Between, you’d killed many. It did not matter what they were; if they didn’t want to talk it out, you knew there was only one way it would end. No matter how many times you died, which had to be in the hundreds by now, you would come back and try again. Victory had always tasted so sweet. 

As did the amount of runes some bosses dropped.

Seeking out the Lord of Blood was certainly a task, but you had also found the husk of Miquella, Malenia’s twin brother forever cursed to be a child. Disgust must’ve been obvious on your features as Mohg appeared out of a pool of blood and referred to Miquella as dearest. You had a feeling you wouldn’t mind ending the Lord of Blood.

You did mind, however, the amount of bloodflame he threw at you. His trident could kill you in one hit if you weren’t careful, and it did, many times. Eventually though, he fell just like the rest. After you lit the site of Grace near Miquella’s cocoon and sat down, you noticed someone standing a few feet in front of you. They were donned in gold and black armor with an ornately embroidered white cloak. Carefully, you rose, ready to fight if necessary.

She introduced herself as Needle Knight Leda, in service to Miquella the Kind. She told you that if you wished to travel to the Land of Shadow, all you needed to do was touch the withered arm dangling lifelessly outside of the cocoon. Noticing your hesitation to follow someone you had just met, she tells you of her compatriots that would offer you assistance when you arrived.

You were never one to shy away from challenge and adventure, so you rested your hand upon the cold, much larger one. In an instant, your vision went white and suddenly you stood in an unfamiliar place. It almost reminded you of where you first woke up after crossing the fog, but it was more foreboding. You shrugged off the feeling of anxiety and started up the hill in front of you.

After stepping out into the open and seeing the vast landscape before you, you knew you had to explore every inch of this place. You would discover why this place was hidden, and you would almost certainly fight challengers tougher than you could imagine. The thought alone sent shivers of anticipation down your spine. With Torrent by your side, you embarked on your journey throughout the Land of Shadow.

That anticipation that had once set your soul ablaze was now fear coursing through your veins. After weeks of fighting, you had reached the Shadow Keep, home of Messmer the Impaler, who was another of Queen Marika’s children. Messmer’s guards and knights were no joke, and you had met your demise at their hands more times than you could count. But you had persisted and cut your way through his numbers, and here you were: in front of an imposing and cold metal door that would certainly lead to your number of deaths reaching the thousands.

Everything you had heard about Messmer was terrifying. You were unsure if you would actually best him. Many other Tarnished you’d met along your travels spoke of his flame, scorching and unnatural, searing them down to the bone before they were impaled on Messmer’s spear.

You tried to keep your spirits high. You had fought and beat Radahn, once known as the mightiest demigod of the Shattering. You’d killed Mohg. You even killed Miquella’s sister, Malenia, the Goddess of Rot.

So why were you standing here shaking like it was your first encounter with combat?

You sighed and knew you’d have to will yourself to open the door in front of you. Throwing caution to the wind and ignoring your nerves begging you to turn back, you pushed the heavy metal door open and stood in the doorway. You flinched and closed your eyes, expecting your death to be immediate. But you were fine.

Taking a few tentative steps into the room, you realized that it was almost entirely dark. A few candles sputtered weakly along the floor, but that was it. Perhaps the Impaler was out?

Your hopeful thoughts quickly died as the room lit up. Hundreds of candles sparked to life within mere seconds. You drew your weapon and looked around the room, your heart beating wildly against your ribcage.

“Mongrel intruder.”

A low, stern voice echoed throughout the room, sending shivers down your spine. Looking towards the center of the room, you shrieked when you saw a red snake hovering in front of you. It wasn’t poised to strike however, so you, although a stupid idea, reached out to pat its head.

“Thou’rt Tarnished, it seemeth.” 

The snake began to slink away from your outstretched hand. You saw a large towering figure sat on a throne in the very back of the room.

Messmer the Impaler.

“I am, yes. Why does that matter?” Your voice shakes and comes out weak.

He stands up, seemingly ignoring you. You realize how he towers over you.

“Mother, wouldst thou truly lordship sanction in one so bereft of light?” He does not sound amused.

“I don’t want to fight you. ” You realize that might not seem convincing with your sword drawn.

“Yet… my purpose standeth unchanged.” He saunters towards you. 

You really shouldn’t be here.

“Those stripped of the Grace of Gold shall all meet death. In the embrace of Messmer’s flame.” From his hand, fire erupts and swirls, but it’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s darker, a deep crimson with black tendrils dancing around like snakes. It’s beautiful, yet horrifying.

“But I can see sites of Grace! There’s one right outside your door!” You plead with him, your voice unnaturally high with fear. He pauses for a second, mulling over your words. Then his brow hardens and his gleaming gold eye narrows.

“The Tarnished, graceless and stricken, is also a liar, it seemeth.”

You were stupid and brave, but a liar? That crossed a line.

With his words as your only warning, he leaps into the air, creating an inferno of raging fire. He slams down next to you and you barely have time to roll out of the way. The explosion clouds your vision, and you don’t catch him hurtling towards you. His spear rams through your stomach as if you weren’t wearing armor, and you scream. Your hands grasp the handle where it impales you and it’s sticky with blood. Your blood.

Messmer comes closer as you fall to the floor. You have to admit, he’s quite handsome, even with your blurred vision. You don’t think telling him that would spare you.

“I don’t want to fight.” Your voice comes out weak and you spit out blood on the floor next to you. You’re beginning to fade.

His eye glows a blinding gold as he stands above you. He seethes with disgust.

“Then thou shalt run. Thine wishes are an impossibility. But rest assured, Tarnished,” he spits the word like an insult, and brings his face closer to yours. “The Impaler will see to it that thy fate never cometh to fruition. Thou shalt perish here, as many times as necessary.” 

With those words, you fade away and return to the site of Grace outside his door. You lay there in stunned silence for a few seconds before you dare to sit up. Looking towards the fog wall in front of you, you question yourself. Could you really defeat Messmer? He’s made his intentions crystal clear and you know that each time you face him, it will end in your painful death. 

No, you say to yourself. You take a few deep breaths and make a conscious effort to not give into the fear he instilled in you. That’s what he wants. He wants you to be afraid to face him, to give him the upper hand. But you won’t do that. Sure, he’s a demigod that’s launched an endless crusade on an entire race of people and has a curse that’s gotten him shunned from his Mother’s good graces, but you’re really good at fighting. And you’re persistent as hell.

Standing, you draw your weapon once more and walk through the fog wall.

He’s returned to his throne, and once he sees you, he grips his spear and stands.

“I warned thee, Tarnished. All thou wilt gain here is an acute understanding of agony.”

“I’m not afraid of you. I’ve faced demigods before and won. I’ve died countless times and came back. This fight won’t be any different.”

He is taken aback by your confidence, but he quickly regains his composure. His face hardens and he leaps into the air once again, flame encompassing his form.

“So be it.”

You dodge his inferno and sidestep him as he rushes at you. You have a feeling he uses his fire to disorient you and shroud himself. You would be wise to keep the distance between you two as close as possible.

“A spear is a horrible weapon for close combat!” You holler at him and see his eye narrow. You’ve successfully pissed him off.

He ignites his spear and soars through the air, then rushes at you with multiple jabs, and you successfully dodge all but one of his attacks. He slams down into the ground next to you, and right as you reach for your flask, a myriad of spears burst from the ground and quickly end you. As your vision fades, you see him above you once more, looking down at you with something you could almost call pity.

You re-enter his arena with little time between your attempts. Though he manages to best you over ten times, you are growing more certain in his attack patterns, and you can seamlessly dodge and punish most of his moves. On your 16th try, you’ve managed to only get hit twice throughout the fight so far, and you still have 9 remaining charges in your flask. You know he’s beginning to worry from the way his attacks grow more and more desperate. He stops charging deliberate moves and instead swings wildly at you in an attempt to kill you instantly.

After side-stepping his barrage and rolling through his summoned spears, you quickly deliver a swipe that cuts his stomach and sends him to his knees. You breathe out heavily and watch his every move with your sword at the ready in front of you.

“Bested, by a meek Tarnished…” His voice radiates with pain and humiliation. He looks at you, his eye dimmer than usual. 

“Give up. I don’t want to kill you.” You hope he doesn’t push you to deal a final blow.

He weakly stands up, using his spear to hold him upright. He turns away, facing a giant statue of Marika holding a baby. How did you not notice that before?

“O Mother, forgive me.” You narrow your eyes and ready yourself for whatever he’s about to throw at you.

He reaches towards his eye that shines a brilliant gold as his long claws near it. In horror, you realize he is about to tear out his eye. Throwing your sword to the ground in an act of desperation, you fling yourself forward and catch his hand. Your weight makes him shift uneasily on his feet and you find yourself staring into the same eye he was about to pluck out.

He glances between your hands around his and your worried expression. He cannot understand why you would stop him. “Let go, Tarnished. I would give thee a fight to ne’er forget.”

You shake your head, clutching onto his hand tighter and trying your best to pull his arm down. “I’m not going to let you tear out your own eye! Are you crazy?”

“Thou hast me at thy mercy. Strike me down or release me.”

“I’ve told you before; I’m not going to kill you.”

His eye narrows and he releases his spear. It thuds onto the ground and the sound reverberates throughout the entire chamber. His other hand wraps around your neck, and he lifts you like you weigh nothing. You do not release his hand as you struggle to breathe.

“Thou’rt foolish and weak. Thy grace is false, thy blade is dull, and it seems thy mind is shattered.” He squeezes harder and you notice black spots in your vision. He peers into your eyes for the Grace you claim to have, and he sees flecks of gold dancing in your irises.

Hesitantly, he loosens his grip enough for you to breathe, but not enough to allow you your freedom. As expected, you heave in heavy gulps of air and cough. He wonders what Mother sees in you, a mere Tarnished, too weak to kill him but not strong enough to delay their inevitable demise at his hand.

“Thank you…” You mutter. You’re still clutching his hand.

“Why didst thou hesitate with thy blade?”

You give a tired and sputtering laugh. “Maybe I’m tired of killing.”

“Nonsense. Reveal the truth.”

“Will you at least put me down?”

He grits his teeth and slowly releases you. He expects you to immediately pick up your weapon and strike back, but you simply reach for one of your flasks.

You notice him watching you with caution. “May I?” You gesture to your flask.

“Fine.”

Unexpectedly, you close the gap between the two of you and unscrew the cork from the bottle. You then hand it over to him without a second thought. 

He doesn’t move, too shocked by your sudden offer. This would heal him, and if he so chooses, he could kill you again with all his strength returned to him.

“I do not require that.” 

You huff and roll your eyes. “Would you please just indulge me? I think you owe me after how many times you killed me, don’t you think?”

Wordlessly, he reaches down and takes your flask. Tipping it back, the liquid warms him as it travels down his throat. He instantly feels better and the wounds you inflicted on him earlier dissipate. When he looks down again, he sees you smiling. He hands the flask back to you and you replace the cork, then store it away in a pouch on your belt.

“There, all better.”

“A duller foe I have never met.”

“And yet, here we are. So, what’s next? Are you going to talk with me, or do you feel like you need to kill me again?” You gesture at his spear still on the ground.

“Why wouldst thou grant me mercy?” His face pinches in confusion.

“Because you don’t deserve to die.” You answer.

“Dost thou consider themselves judge, jury, and executioner?”

“No, but I know enough to understand that you’ve been shunned and cast out by Queen Marika, just like me.”

A Tarnished who speaks ill of his mother? He had yet to wrap his head around that.

“Speak plainly.”

“Okay. I know your mother made you go on an endless crusade in her name against the Hornsent for whatever they did to her. She’s done the same with Godfrey in the Lands Between. The Mountaintops of the Giants, once a land covered in fire, now lay cold with bodies and snow as their only inhabitants. Now, she wants me to fight my way through her remaining children to claim their Great Runes so I can have the burden of becoming Elden Lord.”

“Mother chose-” he begins.

“She cast you out because of your curse.” You interrupt him and his eye blazes out of fury.

“How dare thee!” He bends down to pick up his spear. You hold up your hands and make no move to grab your weapon.

“I understand your pain. I’m cursed to die over and over again until I fulfill her wishes. She doesn’t care for me.” You keep your voice even.

“Thou will never understand my pain nor my curse.”

“Maybe not, but I understand how it feels to be cast out and sequestered without honor or glory.”

Why was he talking to you? He should’ve ended you the moment you gave him your flask. He should’ve killed you 20 times over by now.

But he hesitates.

“Tarnished. Thou hast granted me mercy. Thy reasoning I shall never understand. But thy words ring true and hold merit.” 

“Does that mean you’ll stop killing me?”

“It means I shall consider ceasing hostilities towards you. Thy safety is not yet guaranteed.” 

You groan. These demigods are always so complicated. “Then what do I have to do to get you to trust me?”

“Thou wilt tell me everything.”

You blink at him. “Okay. We could’ve avoided my painful demise many times over if you had just said that earlier.”

The grip on his spear tightens. “I shall make the memory a reality if thou dost not hold thy tongue.”

He’s met with silence. Perhaps you had finally learned when you were to speak. Or maybe you were just thinking of another clever quip that would make him doubt his decision to spare you.

The hilt of his spear hits the ground and he stands taller. His voice echoes around the room. “Thou wilt stay here, within the Keep, so that I may have eyes on thee at all hours of the day. Thou shalt be safe and comfortable in exchange for your knowledge.” 

“You’re going to keep me prisoner?”

“Wouldst thou prefer a grave to a bed?”

“Fair point. We have a deal.”

You hold out your hand and he stares at you in bewilderment. He narrows his eye.

“What?”

You gesture to your hand. “It’s a deal. We’re supposed to shake hands to make it official.”

“I shalt not touch one so depraved.” He looks disgusted at the mention of touching you.

“Shake my hand or get used to killing me. Your choice, my Lord.”

“Thou wouldst jest, even now? When death stands before thee?”

“Can you just shake my hand?”

“...Fine.”

He reaches out and grasps your hand loosely, and you shake his hand. His skin is surprisingly soft. Just as you are about to say something, he pulls away.

“Come. Thy quarters are just down the stairs.”

“Good. I’m exhausted.”

“As am I,” he replies.

You follow him. “But I gave you my flask. You should feel fine.”

“Thou misunderstood. I am exhausted of thy prattling tongue.” 

You scoff, which earns you a small smile from him. You are steeped in an uncomfortable silence as he leads you to your chambers. You walk down a long hallway lined with ornate paintings and trinkets. This is somewhere you had not been while you were fighting your way up to Messmer. You wonder if he knows how many of his men you had dispatched. Considering he granted you some semblance of mercy, you think he has yet to find out.

He stops at a large wooden door. Twisting the knob, the hinges creak like they haven’t been opened in a century. The room is full of dust and stagnant air, but is otherwise beautiful and luxurious.

“I shall have servants clean thy room, of course, but this is where thou shalt stay.”

“It’s pretty. I don’t think I’ve ever stayed somewhere so nice.”

“For once, thy countenance is agreeable.”

“Well, for once, you’re being nice to me.”

His eye twitches in annoyance. “Was I not nice when I spared thee of another woeful death?”

“Seeing as I stopped you from plucking out your own eye, we’ll call it even.”

He felt like he was dealing with a petulant child whenever you opened your mouth to speak. Even threatening you with your demise just spurred you on.

“I shalt leave thee to thy quarters before my headache worsens.”

As he walks away, you call out to him. “Just admit that you haven’t had anyone so entertaining and interesting in your Keep, it’s okay!”

“Yes, my Keep hath never held a jester such as thee.” He replies over his shoulder, not caring if you heard him.

Smiling to yourself, you think that, yes, he does need a jester.

He’s much more handsome when he smiles.

[wheeboo]

a letter to 2023 . . .

hello everyone! we have reached the end of the year, and therefore here is a letter to 2023, and to literally all of you as well. this is gonna be a bit long so bare with me oops.

this year tested me. i completed high school, started university, realised that this is it, i'm a grown-up now. i cried, had sleepless nights, and had moments that felt too heavy to bare; but most importantly, i smiled, laughed, and probably felt the most joy i've had in the longest time.

i joined this place three years ago, but didn't start posting until the summer of this year. i didn't have high expectations, especially since i knew this place was vastly larger than any other platform i dedicate myself to, yet here i am! in the midst of publishing silly little writings and dumping my innermost thoughts, i found my happy place.

i did not expect to grow this much: making over 1.6k followers, posted 67 unique works, meet lots of new people whom i can call my friends, and of course, grow into the person i am now, and i couldn't be more thankful to all those who have shown their support for me 💞

firstly, i would love to spread love to my moot group and server, the people who i can share countless laughter with for hours on end 𑁋 @slytherinshua @blue-jisungs @fairyhaos @eternalgyu @haecien @weird-bookworm @etherealyoungk @idubiluv @wqnwoos @kyeomyun @hannyoontify @rubywonu @icyminghao @mirxzii @hannieheartuu 𑁋 for being the most amazing, most talented, and most hilarious human beings on the planet. thank you to all of you, i love you all so much 🫶

then to the rest of my moots, those who i talk to on here, discord, simply through interactions, or those who i haven't gotten to talk to much but would love to 𑁋 @toruro @hanverse @trblsvt @haowrld @planetkiimchi @rubyreduji @mesanthropi @boosari @the-therapist-needs-therapy @ryuwonieebae @odxrilove @ressonancee @reivrze @jeonwon-wonwoo @welcometomyoasis @amxlia-stars @kyrjnie @freshmint54 @babyleostuff @mangocustard16 @phenomenalgirl9 @hanggarae 𑁋 i wish you all a lot of love for the new year and i can't wait to interact more!! you all make this place a little more bearable each day. thank you for all that you do 💞

and finally, to my lovely followers (flowers 🤭) readers, and anons, i don't have enough thank yous to say thank you for all your support, whether you liked, reblogged, commented, followed, etc. thank you to those who have bloomed with me since the beginning, and thank you to those who have recently planted their little seedling in my garden 🥹💖. you all have helped me grow as a writer, as a person, and as a part of this wonderful (and hellish) community. your encouragement, feedback, and presence have meant the world to me. it's heartwarming to see this lil garden of my thoughts and emotions bloom and resonate with you, and i'm grateful to have you all as part of this journey!! 💐

with that, i wish you all a happy new year!! even if you don't celebrate it as big as others, i hope your 2024 is filled with lots of love, laughter, and simply just happiness. let's all bloom and flourish together!!! cheers to a new years and to new wonderful memories 🥂💓🫶

[thatdammchickennugget]

Hi, I want to ask you for advice and give you an ask for your 1500 followers celebration.

The thing is, I'm 19 and I am not in uni. I am very disappointed in myself and did not plan to be in the position that I currently am. All my friends further their education and had/are having higher education meanwhile I am still where I was three years ago. I always was the academic driven girl that was an over achiever until my half-second last year of highschool. But at this moment, I just feel so behind and failed.

I am happy and proud of my friends, don't get me wrong, they all deserve it ! I even have some of my friends who did not plan to go to uni and are at the moment there. I am happy that they're all succeeding, but I compare myself and I'm just at the same place, escaping in fanfics and just losing more hope that I used to have. It's like everybody started the race except me, that remained at the begining of it.

I did work a little on some of my issues during highschool and still try to do. I used to be severely bullied in middle school, litteraly had a guy saying that I was a monkey and looking like one, which affected my confidence and made me a little paranoid. I'm still working on my self confidence. But I still can't always be confident in my appearance.

I plan and want to go to uni and study what I want so bad. I wish to re-invent myself in a better version of myself.

Can you give me some life advice? You seem like a kind person with a good heart.

I'm not sure if you are still accepting requests for your 1500 subscribers event, but here is a request, it is completely up to you to do it or not, I wouldn't mind.

I also want to tell you " Congratulations on your 1500 subscribers, you definetely deserve it!!!" I love your fics and your writing so much, you have no idea! I look up to you and you definitely inspire me.

I am not sure how to describe myself.

I have brown hair. I am European, just not from the Anglo-saxon part. Usually, I am the therapist friend, everyone come to me and I give them advice ( that are genuinely good). I am normally an optimistic person, I think it is just at the moment that I am feeling down as if I'm in a hole without having a way out. I love reading, escaping to fictional worlds, dancing alone in my room, listening to classical music, knowing the history of the arts, romantism and watching theatre if it is a good play. I am a Gryffindor and an ambivert.

I wish one day to have adventures (where nobody dies/has a negative life-changing thing) like in the movies.

Could you write a frenemies + when it is know the of us are dating , nobody can believe it with Mattheo Riddle? Or anything really with Remus Lupin, with any trope you consider, I trust you :)

Thank you so much and thank you for your advice

I'm gonna sign this so you could identify me if you want updates or when I will thank you :)

-🐤🪐 chicken saturn ( because I like chickens, baby chickens and I like the stars and various kinds of planets)

Hey love! 💕

Firstly, thank you for reaching out and sharing your feelings with me. It takes courage to express vulnerability, especially when it feels like you're comparing yourself to others. You're not alone in feeling this way, I've been feeling much the same lately and am working through it at my own pace too.

It's important to remember that life isn't a race, and everyone's journey unfolds at its own pace. Your path might not look like your friends', and that's perfectly okay. What matters most is that you're working on yourself and your dreams, even if it feels like progress is slow.

It's understandable to feel disappointed or frustrated with where you are right now, but try not to dwell too much on the past or where you think you "should" be. Focus instead on the steps you can take to move forward. Whether that is exploring educational opportunities, seeking support for your self-confidence and mental health journey, or pursuing your passions, every small effort counts.

Dealing with past experiences like bullying can leave lasting scars, but remember that they don't define you. You're strong and resilient, and you have the power to rewrite your story. Building self-confidence takes time and patience, so be kind to yourself along the way.

As for university and reinventing yourself, it's never too late to chase your dreams. And you are only 19! That is still so young! Don't beat yourself up over it you're still on the right path and you have so much time to get where you want to be! Take the time to research your options, reach out for guidance if needed, and set realistic goals for yourself. Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in your potential, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Above all, remember that your worth isn't determined by your achievements or milestones. You are enough just as you are, and your journey is uniquely yours. Keep believing in yourself, keep striving for growth, and trust that brighter days lie ahead.

Sending you lots of positivity and strength on your journey lovely anon 💕 thank you for entrusting me with this, I hope there is at least something helpful in my little rant here. And I also saw your other ask and yes of course you can be 🪐🐤 Saturn Chick! And it's always okay to reach out to me, no matter if you want to do it as an anon ask or through my dm's.

Now for your match ups....

Golden Trio Era; Romantic Match-Up: Mattheo Riddle

mattheo, with his brooding demeanor and sharp intellect, is the last person you expect to find yourself drawn to. as a Gryffindor, you naturally gravitate towards those who exude warmth and light, whereas mattheo seems to dwell in the shadows, his presence casting an enigmatic aura wherever he goes.

your first encounter with him is marked by a clash of personalities, as your optimistic outlook clashes with his cynical worldview. You find yourself engaged in heated debates with him, each argument leaving you more frustrated than the last. despite your differences, there's an undeniable spark of attraction that simmers beneath the surface, one that neither of you can ignore.

as time passes, you and mattheo find yourselves reluctantly working together on various projects and assignments. despite your initial animosity towards each other, you begin to discover unexpected common ground, whether it's your shared love for literature or your fascination with history and the arts.

slowly but surely, the animosity between you begins to thaw, giving way to a grudging respect and mutual understanding. mattheo's sharp wit and intellectual curiosity challenge you in ways you never thought possible, while your unwavering optimism and genuine kindness bring a sense of warmth and light into his dark world.

when you finally admit your feelings for each other, it comes as a shock to your friends and classmates. after all, you and Mattheo were once sworn enemies, constantly at odds with each other. but as they watch the two of you navigate the complexities of your budding relationship, they begin to see the genuine connection and affection that exists between you, and they can't help but root for your unlikely love story.

Song: Just Like A Movie by Wallows

Marauders Era; Romantic Match-Up: Remus Lupin

remus, with his quiet demeanor and gentle nature, has always been a source of comfort and stability for you. as the therapist friend, you're used to being the one everyone turns to for advice and support, but with remus, it's different. there's a sense of understanding and empathy that flows between you, a connection that goes beyond mere friendship.

your first meeting with remus is marked by a shared love for literature and the arts. you find yourself drawn to his intelligence and sensitivity, admiring the way he seems to see the world through a different lens. despite his reserved nature, there's a warmth and kindness to him that immediately puts you at ease.

over time, you and remus become inseparable, spending countless hours lost in conversation about everything from books to music to the intricacies of the human mind. He becomes your confidant, the one person you can truly be yourself around, without fear of judgment or rejection.

as your feelings for Remus deepen, you find yourself torn between wanting to preserve the sanctity of your friendship and longing for something more. it's only when he confesses his own feelings for you that you realize the depth of your affection for him, and the two of you embark on a journey of love and discovery together.

your relationship with remus is built on a foundation of trust, understanding, and mutual respect. together, you navigate the challenges of life at hogwarts, leaning on each other for support and strength. and as you face the uncertainties of the future, you take solace in the knowledge that as long as you have each other, you can weather any storm.

Song: Geronimo by Sheppard

[petrichoraline]

For the honest answer ask game: what's the history of your blog? (this really just includes how/when you began blogging on tumblr, content, your interactions and your special moments on here etc; whatever you wish to prioritize for the ask in context).

honest hour question answered 3 days later <3 truly hope the wait was worth it love hahah

as someone who's gone through my archive already, you know i started out as a bts fan account in 2015. (my previous blog is not gonna be discussed for the simple reason that it's barely relevant to this one)

i believe i used to tag and organise my reblogs? there was a time where i cared enough and i loved srolling through my own blog, i stopped enjoying that when i became more involved w/ fandom on here and things weren't aesthetics based anymore. i don't like going through it that much now. i used to play around with themes, search for them, tweak colours and fonts for hours. after i returned years later there was an issue with the editor so now i can't change my theme at all and it sucks cause i just want to edit a few things.

so it started of as a bts fanblog, then i started rb-ing other kpop stuff, maybe afterwards i started sharing gifsets from movies and series i liked? as for fandom, i had a good amount of mutuals - accidentally became one with a girl from my country, we went out once and it was very nice <3 procrastinated and lost track fo tag games back then too lmaoo i felt a lot of dissatisfaction over it so i try to do everything now with my current fandom :)

back then is when i started reading fanfiction - i believe my first imagine was a taegi one where v was an artist and yoongi a photographer lol i stumbled upon it on the dash randomly and i got introduced to ao3 a bit after

iirc for the following years after i'd stopped stanning bts, i used to come back either relatively often or once in a blue moon - in the beginning i was just enjoying wtv my dash was offering me or seeking out specific stuff, then i started using it as a tracklist of what shows i've watched haha, no tags, just rb after finishing a show.

i started engaging with fandom around the release of episode 5 of kinnporsche, i read a bunch of posts on here, then tms2 came around and i got even more into reading people's takes..at some point i started talking to people i guess hahah i don't even know when i started trying to put out content, so to say, i just know i was doing screenshot posts short before i found myself pushed to attempt gifs and that was after big dragon had just finished airing.

then i started my giffing journey. had support from @gillianthecat whom i loved giffing paulnice for. honestly that and the discussions we had were such an important part of me having fun with this site and keeping it up. and @joyladagang, my self-proclaimed #1 hype woman, made me feel super welcome. then i got even more moots, at some point i started reaching out or actively reciprocating others attempts at getting closer (though i had been active in discussions before that, i just mean i got a bit braver and started acting more familiar with everyone (esp w/ ppl i got closer to through @joyladagang like @cankersoregirl, @feralmuskyscentedhoepran, @loserlesbianongsa etc.)

i'm grateful to a lot of people on here, truly. it's not supposed to be a shoutout post so i won't be tagging any more people (esp since i would have to tag everyone who follows me plus a bunch of people i follow which..it's a bit much) but i'm genuinely thankful for each person that enjoys my rants, gifs, theories or wtv the things i post classify as, whether they found a post by accident or follow the blog. and i'm grateful to the creators i follow, and i'm happy to talk to so many sweet, smart and funny individuals on various topics daily.

so this is where my blog is at right now - trying to do a bit of everything and talking a bit with everyone. my issue, tbh, is i'm trying a bit too hard to satisfy everyone which sounds ridiculous but i am a bit of a people pleaser at times so it checks out lol

[wardingpod]

🎆 Happy New Year everyone! 🎆

As we head into 2023 I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the year we’ve had as a podcast. I started Warding Bond because I love to create and experience collaborative stories. I wanted to create a space where the voices of people of color were prioritized and celebrated. I wanted to create a show where the worlds we play in are thoughtful about how we portray people and concepts. I hope we have managed to create a world that shows this.

I also want to take a moment to pay respect to people like Austin Walker for the cool and conscious stories he creates. Shows like Friends at the Table are huge inspirations for my GM style and how I think about storytelling. I also want to mention shows like Dimension 20 and NADDPOD for introducing me and many of my friends to the world of TTRPGs. Lastly I want to thank the many GMs, both the good and the bad ones, who have had me at their tables. Those experiences taught me a lot about TTRPGs and how I want to carve my niche in them. This podcast would not exist if it were not for these experiences and so I thank all of the above for what they've taught me.

To my friends and cast members, thank you for being brilliant and inspiring people. I love you all dearly and could not create such vibrant worlds without you. You have all inspired and pushed me as a creator and I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for you all.

This year has been filled with a lot of creativity, love, and joy and I can very confidently say we are all incredibly grateful for each and every person who has listened to this podcast this year. It's been really cool to see the support we've gotten and to see others interact with this story we’re creating. So thank you everyone for your support and for following us on this journey. We look forward to continuing at Camp Greenbridge and creating bigger and better things as we go through 2023.

Stay safe and remember to spread love, Ani 💚

[suplex51]

“Imagine being born to do something. And I mean it - born. You came outta your mom or whatever, and the universe pointed at you and said ‘Yeah… That guy’s gotta do this, be this. This guy? He’s my center!’ To be more specific, imagine if one of the first things you were ever fucking told was that you’re the main character. You got diagnosed with Protagonist Syndrome. The whole plot of a whole fictional world is on your shoulders, you’re its cosmic plaything, and that’s your whole life!”

“Until one day, it’s not. You wake up in a different fictional world - a multiversal melting pot of fiction from all possible corners. Whatever superpowers you might’ve had? Gone. Trusty weapons? Confiscated. Plot armor? Never coming back. You're not the hero anymore, you know it… and you can’t think about admitting it.” 

PROMPT: Write an 800+ word post reflecting on your time on the island and the struggles/revelations you’ve had during your time here.

“I’m Travis Touchdown, and when I first landed in Hive City… I was a fuckin’ mess. I mean, I was always a fuckin’ mess. And if you’ve played my games, looked up my backstory, or followed this blog for any amount of time, you know that. ‘Nerd buys a lightsaber off the dark web, becomes a gladiatorial assassin for the promise of sex, revenge, and the chance to be the hero he’s supposed to be. Everything goes to shit.’ I don’t gotta delve into the ‘whys,’ there. Don’t need to do a full-blown recap. That’s not what we’re here for.”

“Anywho… the whole ‘multi-fandom roleplay’ thing should’ve been freeing from the start, to be honest. And in a way, to me, it was. All of a sudden, at the lowest point of my life, after my dumb ass had ruined everything back home - not only for me, but for everyone around me - I had a fresh start. A whole new city, a whole new cast of interesting characters… A chance to rebuild myself. To finally make something of myself, and finally leave a decent impact. To be a real cool-guy action hero, at last; Just like all those movie and anime icons who’d influenced me as a kid.”

“This nerd-turned-assassin was ready… to make the same goddamn mistakes he’d always had, suffer the same losses, yada yada yada, and then some. I mean, ‘definition of insanity,’ right?”

“Most of the time, for the longest time, I was nothing but a punching bag to Hive City (or Radiale Island, when the former came to its apocalyptic end). A punching bag, literally, figuratively, either/or. At least, that’s what it felt like. I’d lose fights like I never had before, face things outside my fucking comprehension. Friends I’d make would get hurt, be taken away, or go on power-crazed, citywide rampages. And no matter how much of my power I’d regained at the time… I’d so rarely be able to do shit about it. To avenge them, keep them, stop them, save them. Hell, sometimes, I’d die trying! I just wasn’t strong enough.”

“I’d say or do something stupid, and everyone would be on my ass in a snap - turning me into a joke. A perverted comic relief character, stuck in his pitiful delusions, trying too hard to be something he’s not. And don’t get me wrong, I deserved the rep. But even when I tried to get better, so many people couldn’t be bothered to show me how. And why should they have bothered? I just wasn’t good enough.”

“I was stuck. Stuck in my canon ways, because those were the only ways I’d ever known.”

“... At first. But remember those friends I mentioned? Yeah, that’s right; We’re getting into ‘power of bonds’ talk, here! They wound up being just the thing I needed. They wound up being what finally broke me, in the best term of the word.”

“Marceline, the Vampire Queen: Taught me that it was okay to open up, to stop bottling up. That I wasn’t a pussy or a failure if I initiated a hug, or let out some tears... She and her wife, Peridot, they got me to goof off, stop taking myself so seriously, and do things that those iconic action heroes would never even dream of. Reminded me that, as fictional as I was? I was also human, and needed to let myself be one. Finally, they — along with a bunch of other friends — more than I’d ever thought I’d have — like, more than 5 close friends—!” 

“... Ahem. They also helped me start to realize that, for all my flaws and fuck-ups… maybe I was deserving of love and affection.”

“And that, you readers and writers out there, is where we segue into Rosa Cervantes.”

“Holy shit, where do I even begin with Rosa motherfucking Cervantes? I could shout out 800+ words on her alone, in my sleep! But this essay or whatever, it’s not about her. So I’ll stick to the basics. This beautiful half-human, half-dragon/shark hybrid… She might not be a protagonist, or have any sense of the 4th wall. But Rosa, she somehow still gets me more than anyone I’ve ever met. And when you live in TWO massive crossover settings? You meet a lot of fucking people!”

“If I hadn’t learned my lesson beforehand, well… after the long and (often literally) painful process of getting to really know her, really get her? Rosa hammered it in: If someone who’d made as many (if not more) horrible, stupid, violent mistakes as me… someone who’d been through so much of the same shit and so much more… if someone like her, who was still so willing to keep pushing forward - keep trying to improve the world, her laundry list of vices be damned - could look at someone like me, and eventually say that I was good enough to love like no other?”

“I’d do anything to always prove her right.”

“And I think it’s worked wonders.”

“We’re coming up on the 2-year mark since this blog, and my roleplay life, first began. Like I said, I’ve faced shit unthinkable back in Santa Destroy. I’ve met beings capable of atomizing islands, countries, and worlds. I’ve gotten a glimpse of a life where I was real, in every way (some existential horror, there). I’ve seen the world ended twice - and the second time, it got transformed into a fantasy RPG, and rebuilt as it was before, in the span of a single month.

“I’ve helped people. Really helped people, with or without throwing a single punch! I’ve found love and family, things my original canon would’ve never given me. And I’ve grown. GodDAMN, have I ever grown! It’s amazing!”

“... Still. Sometimes, I can’t help but worry that I’m doing this all wrong. A part of me sees all my deviation from canon, and… fears. Travis Touchdown isn’t meant to be genuinely likable, cool, or heroic, after all. And at the end of the day, what’s the point of all this? How many lives does my story change, as is? Am I being what I was born to be?” 

“What would Sylvia say?” 

“... Not like I pay any of that much thought. I’m not the Travis Touchdown of No More Heroes fame. I’m the Travis Touchdown of Isola Radiale! I’m not the hero I’m supposed to be. I’m the hero that I want to be! I’ve made my mark! And no matter what, my story isn’t ending anytime soon!” 

"I’m Travis Touchdown! Thanks for reading, and here’s to the future!”

“...” 

“P.S., just so we’re fucking clear, I’ve made a lot more than 5 friends. I was just talking about people who could’ve made it into this essay, but didn’t, because none of us wanna be here all day! Okay? Okay! Now, we can end this drabble.”

[taylor-swiftfacts]

Taylor Swift Facts turns 10!

(Photo: the oldest header I could find on the Wayback machine, from early 2013)

My fellow Swifties,

Today is the 10-year anniversary of the date I posted the very first SwiftFact. I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has been by my side for this amazing journey. This blog has never been just a blog for me - it's been a source of connection, of fun, of support, of appreciation for Taylor and her music.

I began TSF when I was 13, using my home computer. My family had gone through some financial difficulties and, at the time, I didn't even have internet access. I would bring my little USB to the library, save my facts on a Word document, and save the corresponding pictures. I'd go home and make my little posts. I really had no concept of graphic design at the time, so my older posts are honestly quite ugly, but hey. I just wanted to share the information!

I think this blog actually helped me figure out I wanted to be a journalist. I often tell people that I got my degree in journalism because I love learning about things and sharing them with others. That's what I've done here for a decade! Getting the right quotes, deciding which information is most important, even using the inverted pyramid of journalism. I honed a lot of those skills here.

Not to mention, the community that has been here for me. I won't belabor you with my life story, but I used to be quite open about my family struggles on here, and the outpouring of support was always so touching. Some of you even donated money when my family was in need, which is so beautiful and something we all still talk about from time to time. And when my mom passed away, I wasn't posting as frequently, but you all showed me so much love and support anyways. Even though I wasn't giving you much, you gave me everything.

I exchanged Christmas cards for a couple years with tons of you, which made me feel infinitely less lonely. I stopped due to some mental health struggles, but I still have all of your cards, and I see that as a highlight of not only this blog, but of my life. There has been so much real human connection fostered with this little fan blog I created on a whim. I am so grateful.

The craziest thing that has come out of this blog - barring Taylor's follow and even a couple of likes - is the fact that VividSeats gave me tickets to the 1989 tour in 2015. That is one of the top 10 experiences of my life, and I believe it always will be. I can't even express how much that means to me. And maybe I still put the review I wrote for their site on my resume. ;)

All of this is to say, this blog has been an integral part of my growing and changing. Some of my past personal posts on here make me cringe. Some of the facts I would not publish today as the fandom culture has shifted significantly. I learned and grew with this blog. Despite some of the controversy - I feel some people have never liked my blog - the love has kept me going. I am so grateful for every ounce of support anyone here has ever given me.

I apologize for posting sporadically the last few years. Life happens, and I have significantly different priorities than I did in 2012 - I assume we all do - but the reason I've kept posting at all is because I enjoy it. You make it enjoyable. That being said, I'll try my best to get some posts out just in celebration of Midnights and the whirlwind of Taylor content we've gotten the last few years. Even though social media moves so quickly these days, and the format of my blog isn't quite conducive to that anymore, I hope we can all enjoy it. Like the good old days. :)

Even writing all of this, I feel like I can't even begin to express how special this journey has been. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who has ever supported me in any way.

Grace

[thebookreader12345]

750 Followers Celebration - Q&A

Thank you so much for supporting me through this journey! You guys don't know how much this means to me. Every single one of you is amazing.

Below the cut are my answers to the questions that you all submitted.

Q: Do you think Jay is going to become Sergeant this season? A: There has been a lot of debate over this question because of the past few seasons and all of the "Easter eggs", like the sergeant exam poster hanging in the background of the show. In my opinion, I do not believe Jay will become Sergeant. Yet. I think it won't be until the beginning of next season because, if this is a possible storyline, I would expect that the producers and writers would make the finale of season 9 about Voight stepping down/getting promoted, etc.

Q: Did Chicago Justice deserve more episodes? A: I'm sort of split with this question. I loved the fact that there was a big episode involving Kevin, and they always included people from Med, Fire, and PD in some of the episodes. However, the whole plot of the episodes was kind of slow because it wasn't like they were police officers and could go out and chase suspects and arrest people and what not. Their job was just to gather the evidence and then present it in court. I think for many, the show fell flat because there wasn't much action, and part of me does agree with that, but the whole idea of the show itself was kind of cool.

Q: What would make you stop watching each Chicago show? A: This is a tough question because I've only ever dropped one show that I can think of, and it was only because the plotline got really dumb. Maybe if some major characters died in each show I'd stop watching it? But then again, I love the One Chicago universe so much that I don't think even that would stop me from watching. So yeah. I really don't know.

Q: Do you believe in magic? A: As much as I would love for magic to be real, I don't believe it is. But I feel like everyone thinks that way. Cause lets be honest, Harry Potter and Disney make magic look so cool. However, we all know deep down somewhere that it's almost impossible for certain things to be real, and magic just so happens to be one of them.

Q: Are you superstitious? A: I'm not the most superstitious person out there, but I do somewhat follow a few superstitions. Whenever I find a penny on the ground with heads facing up, I pick it up because I believe I'll get good luck. Doing the whole "fingers crossed" thing is something I do a lot. I believe you shouldn't open an umbrella in the house or else you'll receive bad luck. Broken mirrors are bad omens. Those are the top 4 I believe in, but other than that, I'm not really too superstitious.

Q: Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? A: I mean, I would hope so. I appreciate my level of smarts, and whenever my friends acknowledge them or compliment me on them it makes my day. However, with that, people think that I'm always only doing things to boost my intelligence. For example, I love to read. So whenever I say that I didn't do much over the weekend, people always assume that I read a bunch, when I really didn't. Or that I always study for tests or do homework like a week before it's do. That is not the case. But for the most part, I believe my perception of myself is the same as how other people perceive me.

Q: Who is your favorite couple on each One Chicago show? A: Okay, so for Med, there aren't really any couples at the moment besides Maggie and Ben, whom I love but they aren't my favorite, so I'm gonna pick a past couple. When I first started Med, Manstead was my prime ship, so I'll choose them. Will had been pining after Natalie for so long so I was glad when they finally got together. For Fire, it's gotta be Kelly and Stella. They were literally made for each other, and they support each other with everything. Also, they are so cute together and all of Firehouse 51 ships them as well! And for PD, while I do love Burzek, Upstead is my favorite ship at the moment. I've seen the connection between Hailey and Jay since season 5. You don't understand how angry I was in season 7 when Hailey was so close to confessing her feelings. So season 8 made me very happy when Jay and Hailey finally got together.

Q: Jay and Lindsey or Jay and Hailey? A: I respect everyone's opinions on this matter, so hopefully you all respect mine. I thought that Erin was almost toxic in a way for Jay. She continuously broke his heart when all he wanted to do was help him. But what really does it for me is that she left Chicago without telling him goodbye. Hailey, on the other hand, has pushed Jay to seek out help when he needed it, like when she recommended he take seeing a therapist seriously to help with his PTSD, and she is always there for him, no matter what. That's why I believe Hailey and Jay are the better pairing.

Q: Which character death got to you the most? A: There have been too many sad deaths in the One Chicago world. But if I had to pick one, I've gotta go with Otis on Chicago Fire. Otis was always one of my favorite characters, even way back when I watched Fire with my dad when it was first coming out. He was witty and funny, and his friendship with Cruz was everything. So, when I watched the episode where he died, I was full on balling. I had to pause the episode for 10 minutes because I couldn't stop.

Q: Who is your favorite character on each show and why? A: I'm gonna do favorite male and female character because I've got too many favorites from each show. On Med, my favorites are Will and Natalie. Will has been my favorite since day one, and I like that he will go out of his way to help patients, even if it means he could get in serious trouble. Natalie, even though she's not in the show, always pushes for the best of care for her patients, and whenever she dealt with kids it was always the sweetest thing. On Fire, I like Kelly and Sylvie. Kelly is so headstrong and driven, and he will do anything to protect the other members of Squad 3. Sylvie is such a hard worker and you can tell she is passionate about her job. I feel so bad that she's had to go through so many partners. On PD I love Jay and Hailey. Jay has not always been my favorite male character. Back when I watched the show for the first time, I adored Adam. However, I love that Jay has such good morals and is always pushing to do the right thing even when Voight disagreed. Now, it took a few episodes for me to warm up to Hailey, but after seeing her be so badass, it was hard not to like her.

Q: Where do you get inspiration for your stories?/How do you get inspiration when there's not a request? A: This question is always hard to answer because I really don't know. Most of the time I'm fulfilling requests sent in by you guys and I just write what comes to the top of my mind. If there are requests that are not requested and I come up with them on my own, chances are I saw the plot somewhere else, like in a book or show or movie, and I just tweaked it a bit to fit the One Chicago universe. Either that happens, or while I'm trying to fall asleep, I make up random scenarios in my head, and if I find one that I really like, I'll make a note of it on my phone so I don't forget it, and then I'll write about it.

Q: Do you think Brett and Casey are endgame? Why or why not? A: I'm gonna go with yes on this one. Now, Brettsey is not one of my top ships in the universe. However, they are cute together, and I've been expecting them to get together for a while. The two of them, even when Gabby was around, had a great relationship and always cared for each other. Plus, Matt jumped out of a firetruck to go help Sylvie when the ambulance flipped. He was willing to risk an injury just to make sure she was okay. And now that they are officially together in Chicago Fire, you can see that they really love and care for each other.

Q: What inspired you to start writing? A: I always seem to get this question whenever I do a q&a, but that's okay because I don't mind talking about it. I first got into stuff like this as a reader. Basically, I went on to Wattpad and Tumblr to read other people's stories. I had no intention of creating my own. And then, one day, I started imagining myself in some of the fandoms I was apart of, and I thought, "If I'm imagining myself in these fandoms, chances are others are too," and I began creating stories that followed the plots of movies and shows exactly, just adding Y/n in it. However, that got tiring after a while because I wasn't able to have much freedom because I was following a set script, and that's when I remembered I had a Tumblr account I never used. So, I revamped my account just a little bit and started posting story ideas I had that I couldn't post on Wattpad because either they didn't fit with the stories or they were for someone I didn't write for on Wattpad. And now, here we are. For anyone interested, I've posted this before but I'll post it again, my Wattpad handle is @Writer_Reader05.

Q: Jay or Will Halstead? A: I'm sorry, but I really can't choose between the two of them. I love them both so much. Will and Jay are two of my favorite characters in the whole One Chicago universe. While they do have some qualities that I'm not the fondest of, at the end of the day, I adore the both of them, and I could never choose between them.

Q: Who would you rather date: Jay or Will Halstead? A: Why do you guys do this to me? I love them both so much! But, if I have to choose, I'm gonna pick Jay. The only reason is because I like the characters in PD more than Med, so if I'm dating Jay, chances are I'm friends with Hailey and Adam and all of Intelligence. Will is just as awesome as Jay though and I feel like sometimes people sleep on that.

Q: Which of the requested fics you’ve written is your favorite? A: I think I'm gonna have to go with a Jay Halstead x reader I wrote titled Two Becomes Three. Something about the plot just makes me smile. And to think of Jay being a father......So yeah, while I have so many amazing requested fics thanks to you all, that one has to be one of my favorites.

Q: What’s your favorite series you’ve written so far? A: I love all of the series I have written. Something about creating a whole story that's more than just one part is always fun. If I have to pick one series, I'm gonna pick On the Loose. It was the first series I wrote on Tumblr and the plot of it is something I'm really proud of. However, From the Big Apple to the Windy City, Identity Loss, and Difference of Opinion are all amazing! The first two are finished series and the last one still has a few chapters left to go. Go check them out if you haven't already.

Q: What's your favorite imagine you've come up with and why? A: I don't have a lot of fics that are solely my ideas. Most of my stories have plots that were sent in by you all. However, if I had to pick a favorite out of my stories, it'd be Back Home for Christmas, a Halstead Sister fic I released when I was somewhat new to the platform. Something about writing sibling fics always makes me happy because I get to express the familial side to the characters.

Q: If you had to be roommates with 5 of your mutuals/fellow writers, who would you pick and why? A: I love all of my fellow writers/mutuals so much! I know how much work we put into whatever we post, and most of us are very active on this site. As for who I would pick to be my roommates, I'd choose @hereforhalstead @fighterkimburgess @halsteadlover @resanoona @sylviebrettsey because I feel like we'd all have great conversations, mainly over One Chicago. And every Wednesday night we'd all watch the episodes live together and experience them as a group and then freak out over what happened..........Now watch me fantasize about this all day.

Q: Do you listen to music when you write? A: It depends. On some days when I plan that I'm gonna write, then yes, I do put on some music. When there are days that I have a few minutes to spare, I don't put on music just because I'm only writing for a few minutes and I don't want to waste time. But mostly when I'm writing I do play music in the background.

Q: Do you know how your fics/stories end before you finish writing it? A: This is a really interesting question. The answer is no, I do not know how I'm gonna end a fic before I finish writing it. The only story I had a set ending for was my series On the Loose, but that one wasn't even fully planned out until I got a chapter or two in. Obviously, if I get a request that includes a set ending, like two characters get together or something like that, then I know what the ending will be. Otherwise, I have no clue.

Q: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? A: You know, I can't say that I have. Everyone is different in their own way, and that's what makes us all unique. I would imagine if I did meet someone with a similar personality we'd get along because we'd basically be a carbon copy of each other, but who knows. Maybe our similar personalities would cause us to clash.

Q: Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? A: Not really. I know myself more than anyone else so I know what my limits are and when I've reached them. With people, on the other hand, I always feel like they can be doing more with themselves and their lives. So I do not hold myself to higher standards than others.

Thank you to all of you who sent in questions! I never thought I'd reach 750 followers on this platform. The only reason I have is all thanks to you wonderful people out there!

@winterberryfox @maximeevansblog @scarletsoldierrr @i-like-sparkly-things @dreamingmanip @soph0864 @ryliegh8 @lorenakaspersen @wanniiieeee @nevertoofarfromivar @securityfriendly-jay @pinkbay-love @stephie123

[paradise-creator]

Queen's gratitude

Thank you so much for supporting me and interacting with me through out the time I was here. It's been so much fun and this is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I really appreciate all of you for taking the time to read my works and interact with it or me. And it always makes my day.

Of course I appreciate every single one of my followers, people who interact, my moots, and those that read my stories. Though I do want to say something to specific people. That would be under the cut!

Again, thank you so much for supporting me and just being there for me. I hope you all stay safe and stay healthy~

To moots that have been with me since the beginning, thank you so much for sticking with me and for being such a good friend. Like really, I don't think I could ever have done it with out you all.

To my new moots, hey! I guess it's time to start a new journey huh? Thank you for following me and just occasionally/daily interacting with me. I totally appreciate it~

@edengarden, Hey~ I seriously can't thank you enough, Eve kdbdndn Legit you have helped me so much and stuck with me even if I was complaining so much. You've been with me since the start and wow dkbdj

To moots I barely interact with, Thank you for staying moots with me! Even if we don't interact or talk with each other. I really appreciate you!

@liamiya, Babes you are literally too sweet, I swear. Thank you for giving me advice when I need it and for staying! I really appreciate everything that you do 💕

@bsdparadise, Ariel we've only been moots for like 2 weeks? And yet I feel as if we've known each other for a long time. Thank you for putting up with my antics and just keeping me company-

@aghashiii, Hai Ky! Thank you so much for everything. You are one of my role models and inspirations in this app and I thank you for all the comfort you've given me 💕

@sugurus-princess, hey! You might not know it but our interacts ligit make my day even better something about you is just so comforting and it really makes me happy :DD

@daichi-anon and Cher, Cher thank you for being the Daichi anon mod! You really are so sweet and it's so awesome taht you choose to do this for everyone!

@justsidecharacterthings, Hey Stace~ Thanks for being my friend and for encouraging me! It really helps whenever you do and you never seem to fail to make me smile

@mirakeul, Hai Ate :DD As I said, I've been a fan of you blog for so long and it's a dream come true that you follow me and we've became friends. You are also my role model and inspiration to actually continue. Thank you~

And if I didn't mention you, I'm sorry :(( I still really appreciate you and everything you have done 💕

[guksauce]

~TickledPink!~

Part Seven

Pairing: Jjk x Reader Pregnant AU

Word Count: 4,367K

Rated: M

Book Warnings: Mentions of Sexual Assault, Mild Smut, Adult Language, Fluff City.

Author: @guksauce

Notes: Thank you to those who show this story and myself love 💖 Thank you to everyone who’s been on this journey with me.

Tag List: @jamkookies @jk97luv @1-in-abillion

For weeks the question of whether or not you were brave enough to move forward with this pregnancy loomed like a storm cloud over your head. Beyond the crashing fear you felt, the thought of who you were with and where you were now in comparison to the life you’d lived before, you were swollen with confidence from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. Still, the memory you try so hard to avoid thinking about climbs up the back of your throat like the rising sun through the windows in the kitchen, scratching and threatening to rip out a scream. The coffee cup in your hands shakes as you stare through the blinds; imagination turning the perfectly trimmed hedges into a dirty green dumpster. It overflows with the smell of rotten food, waste, and your now broken pride. The coffee inside the cup is scalding, and you're positive it is burning the prints right off the pads of your fingers, but you are too mentally exhausted to care. A branch of the tree in the yard, littered with forest colored leaves, sways in front of the sun and makes the rays shining through the gaps glint in your eyes. It turned what should be a beautiful golden glow into the dingy flicker of the broken sign at the diner that ugly rainy night. 

The you that stands in the kitchen begs to close your eyes. They burn as the result of not being able to think clearly enough to even blink. But the you that called Namjoon in the wee hours of the morning that day was caught in the crazed eyes of your offender. You remembered him being wild, rabid even. You also remembered that you wouldn't have been surprised if he had been foaming from the mouth under the black mask covering his face. 

Just as the sun breached the height of the highest trees, the kitchen exploded with a blinding light, Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata playing softly from the speaker on the counter behind you almost forcefully dragging your emotions out further and further. Where the sunlight streaming in should have warmed your insides and shocked you out of your inner turmoil, it instead highlighted your pain and the drops of salty tears painting wet trails down your cheeks just as Jungkook stepped into the kitchen. Halting in his tracks, his eyebrows cinched together and his heart dropped to his stomach as he watched your pain shake your frame to its core. It took all of five long strides across the kitchen to reach you before he rested his chin on your shoulder and wrapped his comforting arms around you. You recoiled for a moment, so lost in your memories that the arms that intended to protect you blended with the ones that swore to harm you. 

“Shhh. It’s alright y/n.” He cooed softly, coaxing you away from the demons that haunted you and into a new unfamiliar world of bliss. “It’s just me. Im sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper, tangled in the strands of your hair that had fallen in your face. The silence that followed was calming to say the least. The longer the two of you stood facing the warmth of the sun and the beginnings of summer's lush greenery beginning to bloom in the garden, the more you felt the weight of impending events to come wear off of you. Spinning you in his grasp, Jungkook guided your arms around his neck, pulled you closer, and easily lifted you off your feet in a dizzying twirl as the piano notes dramatically swirled around the morning lit kitchen, resulting in a fit of giggles from both of you. You let this feeling sink into your bones and will your muscles to relax and mentally ask politely for your heart to stop pounding in your chest in such a violent manner. It feels so good that you can't stand the thought of having to ruin it, but your thoughts won't stop attacking you. 

“I have my first Ultrasound appointment today.” You share. He doesn't stop swaying but his familiar chocolate orbs gaze down at you with an emotion that not even he is sure fits the situation. It’s just a smile. One you don't expect to see, but it's littered with what you can only imagine being...excitement? But why? Unbeknownst to you, somewhere inside him...he is. However, he can see by the expression on your face, that despite his excitement, you are terrified. 

“Whatever happens y/n, you are not alone. I know this is beyond cliche to say but, everything will be alright. There's no way in hell me, or Namjoon, or any of the others are going to let you go through this without support.” You don't mean to but, you watch the way his lips bounce off each other when he says words like “Me” and “be”. They glisten in ways that could make any woman weak, but the meaning spilling from them means so much more to you. It pains Jungkook to add what he's about to but he says it anyway in hopes that whatever worrying thoughts you might be having, sort themselves into the appropriate folders. “Whatever decision you choose to make, I will be right here with you.” Another comfortable silence falls over both of you as you lean closer into his embrace. 

“This might be too much to ask but...would you come with me today?” You ask and hold your breath, waiting for his answer. You expect him to say ‘No’. You almost WANT him to say no when the weight of your question pulls your eyes from his lips down between where your bodies pressed together, just as Namjoon rounds the corner to the kitchen. 

Namjoon had been gone all day. Caught his favorite coffee shop right at opening time where he ordered an iced americano and a raspberry scone. He had run eight miles to the park with the lake he liked to visit, and watched the reflection of the clouds in the water for an hour before running back home. When he’d arrived, instead of heading straight upstairs like he normally would have, the dryness scratching at the back of his throat begged to be squelched with cold water from the fridge. But upon hearing your question before he’d dared to peek around the wall, he watched. Watched the way Jungkook let his arms hang loosely at the small of your back. Watched the way the tips of your fingers absentmindedly played with the curls resting at the nape of his neck. The two of you looked so natural together that Namjoon almost felt the raspberry scone forcefully lurch its way up his throat. It isn't that he didn't want you or Jungkook to be happy, but he'd always imagined it would be him holding you like that someday. Namjoon closed his eyes and swallowed hard, willing the fluffy pastry contents of his stomach to go back down and stepped into the kitchen. 

Jungkook doesn't hesitate to answer your question with an excited “Of course!”. He didn't know what it was about this situation, but he couldn't deny that even in his young age, helping you through this and being part of the experience was everything he wanted. There had been so many days and nights that he had admired his mother for becoming the strong woman she is today through being a mom. Jungkook could say the same for his father after watching how he had supported young kook’s mother in both big and small ways. Jungkook understood the importance of bringing a child into this world and thus the importance of assuring that the child that he or she would always have people in their life that love them unconditionally. The corners of his lips twitched up in a smile when your eyes flashed up to meet his. The surprise that widened them caught every glint of light streaming in through the window and in that moment, Jungkook saw you in a new and vivid way...but so had Namjoon. 

“I promise i'll take care of you.” Koo whispered, his warm breath fluttering against your cheeks. Joon, after finally deciding that he couldn't take it anymore, burst through the room and ripped open the fridge, snatched out a bottle of water and knocked three more over in the process. You don't mean to but you find yourself taking a large leap away from Jungkook. The expression he wears is full of understanding but it doesn't keep him from grinning at the blush coloring your features. 

“Good Morning Joonie.” You don't recognize the forced voice that flies from your mouth. It's too high and sounds distorted, making Jungkook smirk more and huff out a small breathy laugh. You glare at him and kick out your leg playfully in his direction but you could say the same for your vision as well when you finally scan the kitchen in its entirety; distorted and warped. “How was your run? I planned on catching you before you left but you were gone before I could get to the bottom of the stairs.” 

If it weren't for the fact that you had grown up with this man, the very carefully placed facade Namjoon wore would have slipped right past you. But you noticed the way his shoulders were slumped and the lack of a whistle sang through his lips, breaking the silence in the kitchen. But above all, it was the “Uh…” he only does when he's especially nervous that he started his next sentence with that let you know something was up. 

“Uh, morning. And sorry about that. I was trying to get to the bakery when they opened. You know how much i love scones.” What could you say to that? You knew he liked scones, but you were almost certain they’d never really been a favorite of his. Then again, he's been living a much different life than the one you knew his 16 year old past self to live. It's upsetting, you think, how time has gifted you with a lifelong friendship with this incredible man but somewhere along the way that same time has made you forget who he is...or only remember who he was and have no idea who he has become. Sparing a glance up at you, he shakes the bottle of water in his hand and smiles before exiting the kitchen. 

“Hyung!” Jungkook calls after him and follows him out of the kitchen, leaving you alone with your thoughts again. But this time doesn't feel so heavy. Your coffee has cooled to a comfortable temperature and your mind is full with how it feels to be wrapped in Jungkook's embrace. You think about how ridiculously school girlish you feel when you're with him and bounce on the balls of your heals in attempts to keep yourself from squealing until the coffee in your belly starts to make you feel queasy. 

A glimpse of a single white butterfly catches your eye. Its tiny little wings flap tirelessly as it floats past the window. It looks oddly familiar. Or perhaps feels familiar. That feeling...That fluttering feeling. You rest a hand over your thickening torso and swallow hard as you take a seat at the kitchen table. How...familiar…

It's time. The clock on your phone strikes 12:00PM and an alarm follows promptly after, screaming obnoxiously in your face. It's time. It's time. You’ve just downed your third mug of coffee when Jimin enters the kitchen and waves at you with both of his happy little hands. It's time. You never once moved from your spot, glued to the chair ever since you saw the butterfly. Time had flown by you. You wonder if you ever even blinked. It's time. There's a spot on the table that holds your attention. The wood, though it's already dark, looks burnt in a particular place. It looks like a black hole and you treat it as such, staring aggressively at it and wishing for it to swallow you up whole until a set of ringed fingers enter your line of site and brush over the surface. 

“One night we had a food fight and somehow someone's napkin got mixed up in the chaos and dropped onto a candle we had lit in the center.” Yoongi. His voice is low and comes out slow and smooth. You dare trail your eyes from his fingers to his face, much like the black abyss you'd imagined the spot to be, you find his gaze on the burnt table is farther away than you expected, reminiscing a moment in time when you didnt exist in their home. “Hoseok had to get the fire extinguisher and covered our dinner in white fluff.” A smile twitches on his dry lips. Regardless, it's nice to hear him speak to you again. 

“We laughed forever.” Tae says as he rounds the table and takes a seat next to you. His presence alone makes you feel better, the goofy expression he wears when you look at him makes you laugh and shake your head. 

“We had to throw it all away.” Jimin says and sets a bottle of water in front of you with a smile and nods at you as if to say ‘Drink up.’. So, you do. 

“So many wasted noodles. I'd been looking forward to eating them so bad.” Jungkook says, pouty lips and rosy cheeks making his fair skin glow and his dark curls darker. The lot of them laugh together in agreement as Jungkook holds a hand out to you. “Ready?”

A nod of your head ‘yes’ feels more like a magical bewitched wiggle of your nose because you're already at the clinic before you can take your next breath. From the passenger's seat you watch Yoongi’s hands on the steering wheel glide effortlessly over the matte black finish. You wonder if asking him to come was too far fetched of an idea. He hasn't seemed bothered. In fact he had not seemed like anything. Not a single muscle in his face had twitched, not a single hint of emotion. He'd simply scooped his keys off the counter and held the door open for Jungkook, Namjoon, and myself. 

When he puts the car in park, you dread the moment he takes his hands off the wheel. You stay seated, your body swaying to and fro as the weight of the car shifts while the guys all file out. 

You can do this Y/n. You can. You got this.  

Joon opens your car door for you and carefully helps you out one step at a time. From where you stand in the parking lot, you can see the giant letters on the front of the building that read (MEDICAL FACILITY). They Are daunting and make you shiver and lean into Joon’s side. 

“It's alright y/n.” He whispers to you quietly and kisses comfortingly into your hair. “Joonies got you.” 

Inside it's so much harder to exist in this life and coexist in the presence of others once you've found a spot in the waiting room. Namjoon promised to return with your bag from the car before you could blink, a panicked skip in his step when he ran back out the rotating door in the hospital lobby. Jungkook watched his back like a lost puppy after Namjoon all but shouted an order at him to get you signed in. Since this morning the tension between them had been high and clouded and you wondered where Jungkook had followed him to before leading you away to your current terror. 

It's too white in here. The chairs look like they have not been updated since the 70’s. The plants in the corners of the room had begun to wilt, filling the space with stagnant water and rotting soil mixed with the pungent scent of sterilizer. The flickering fluorescent lights above you bring back memories you wish you could avoid forever but it only highlights exactly why you're here. There's a painting on the wall that looks like a really old silk painting. The material is worn and frayed at the edges but the dull grey strokes depict what looks to be a man in a carriage being pulled by the likes of a Dragon through a body of water. Your eyes scan the length of the dragon just as you hear the nurse call for the next patient as though your head was underwater, glancing down at the plaque that reads “Man Driving the Dragon.”

Worry settles in the pit of your stomach when you realize neither Jungkook nor Namjoon are back, and the mountain in the back of the painting starts to look intimidatingly large when a hand rests on your knee. Your chair had begun to squeak under the shaking of your leg, and Yoongi could tell that you were starting to panic when your eyes had latched on to the painting. He didn't say anything; rubbed his thumb over the fabric of your jeans just once and it was all you needed to crumble the mountain in the painting and relax all of your muscles. For a moment you worry you've bothered him, but when both boys come rushing back to your side, he gives your knee a small pat and stands just as your name is called. All at once your body shakes, your heart drops to your stomach pounding hard enough to keep your legs from moving, the message never reaching your brain. The nurses jacket flows behind her, softly brushing the back of her knees while she scribbles information on the clipboard in her hands. 

“Breathe Y/n.” Namjoon whispers in your ear when he notices your eyes scan every room you pass, searching for something to distract you or to frighten you further, you aren't sure which one. He’s careful when he touches you, fingertips gripping your elbow to guide you back to the here and now. The overwhelming scent of steryl fries every hair in your nostrils and starts a storm in your head, the hallway closing in around you. Jungkook is there as you start to sway, a hand on your back to steady you and you catch a glimpse of Yoongi at your flank with his hands out in front of him. Suddenly the nurse is stopping in front of you, the door is opening and streaming out of the room through the dark is a very soft off white glow, followed by a smell that reminds you of the eucalyptus body wash setting on the shelf in the shower at home. 

And that's what this feels like out of the blue, a sense of homeness. It's the pink orchids in full bloom on the counter, the jar of fluffy cotton balls and the assortment of blue tinted tissues next to the reclined leather chair in the center. It's also the bottom half of the walls painted sage green and the top a crisp white in a way that makes you think of decorative ideas for the nursery at home. But above all, it's the three men following behind you and the four others waiting for you at home that gives you the most comfort. 

After a quick change of clothes and the prick of a finger for blood work, you're comfortably laid back in the chair just as the cold gel is squeezed onto your belly. The sonographer that replaced the nurse is bright eyed and almost overly hyper as she presses the device to your stomach and chirps happily in a way that somehow reminds you of Jimin. 

“I'm excited to show you your baby today, miss Y/L/N!” You don't know where it stems from but the smile on your face spreads from ear to ear as a fuzzy black and white image appears on the screen. But then she's pointing at the screen to something small in the middle and your eyes are glued. 

“This little spot right here...is your baby!” When the Sonographer turns back to make sure you've seen it, her smile turns from excited to warm. The men with you have crowded around you gazing with awe at the monitor. Namjoon behind you with his hands on your shoulders. Jungkook at your side, kneeling down so his face is inches from yours. And Yoongi at your knees leaning with his fingers pressed into the taut leather of the chair to get a closer look. 

“Wow…” Jungkook breathes out, absentmindedly lacing your fingers together. You squeeze his fingers just as Joon squeezes your shoulders tenderly and Yoongi falls to his elbows at your thighs patting the same spot on your knee as he had before. 

“Everything looks good too. It’s exactly where it’s supposed to be.” The sonographer speaks quieter and separates her last couple of words like she knows it's exactly what you need to hear right now. A moment of anxiety makes you think she's saying it because she's judging you for what happened, but when you tear your eyes from the screen and catch her gaze, you know she's being genuine. “I'm going to give you all a couple minutes to look at this while i go grab your copies. I'll be back in a moment.” With a smile she bows softly and leaves the room to us. Yoongi watches the way Namjoon and Jungkook lovingly caress you and feels a pang of guilt in his stomach. 

“Actually, could the two of you leave for a second? I'd like a moment with y/n.” He asks, standing straight and the boys share a worried look. 

“Hyung…” Jungkook mumbles looking at you, to which you nod after squeezing his hand. 

“It's alright. It's not like he's going to eat me or anything.” You assure him softly. Both boys obey their older brother and exit the room. Yoongi hold a hand out to you and you take it without hesitating. You'd been waiting for the opportunity to just sit down and talk with him since the moment you stepped foot into his home. 

“I just wanted to apologize for…” His eyebrows sinch together, that forever deep in thought look on his face passes through complex stages of emotions and it's so endearing that you struggle to do everything in your power not to giggle. He starts again, this time with more confidence in his voice. “I wanted to apologize for doubting you. For not believing in Namjoon when he needed me most. For not realizing what you meant to him. To Jungkook. And in turn...Me.” It's not what you expect to hear from him.  

“It feels like a dream to hear you say that. You’ve been right about all of it from the beginning. It was an unrealistic expectation to think all of you would just be completely okay with having to deal with the change of someone new in the comfort of your home.” Yoongi nods slowly, taking every word of your thoughts into consideration. 

“Yes, they may have been true at the time but the change was good. Your presence shook up our world and gave our minds a new direction. You sparked a new inspiration in us. I wrote five songs yesterday. Namjoon wrote three. Even Taehyung had me look over some new lyrics. And Jimin a melody for a song we've been stuck on for a while now.” Again you're unsure of what to say but you feel at home all over again as though a line had never divided the two of you to begin with. A knock at the door breaks the bubble but a weight feels lifted from your shoulders and the future feels lighter. 

Four printed copies of your ultrasound crinkle quietly as the boys all pass them around. The entire group is snuggled around you on the couch. You Are snuggled into Jungkook on your left, Jin leans close on your right with Namjoon cuddled up behind him. At your feet Jimin leans back against Yoongi’s chest between your knees with Hobi curled up between Jins knees, and Tae between Koo’s with one of his legs thrown over Tae’s shoulder as he fidgets with a rip in Koo’s jeans. The fireplace is roaring, fat raindrops pelt the windows, and Tae’s favorite jazz mix plays softly in the background. The long day of events runs through your mind like a roll of film, buzzing softly but you finally feel like it's okay to accept the love they just keep offering to you for nothing in return. It's exhilarating but your heart is at ease all the same. 

In your hand you observe the child growing inside of you and you take a deep content breath and nuzzle further into Jungkook’s side. He’s been just as content if not more since seeing the baby for the first time. Since seeing your face light up in a way he had not experienced yet. Now you were glowing and warm and he swore to himself that he would do his damndest to keep it that way. With his cheek pressed into your hair he observed the photo with you over your shoulder, imagining teeny tiny hands that looked like yours and smiled, kissing your temple. He smiled more when your chest rose a little higher, your body shivering against his as you let out a shaky breath. 

“Someone help. I can’t find it. Where is it?” Jin whines and everyone bickers at him for not being able to see it, laughter in their voices as they tease him. Namjoon attempts to point it out but you giggle when he’s too far over. Behind you, Koo chuckles and points at the baby in Jin’s picture. 

“It's this little bug right here.” He says and you smile at the nickname. 

“Little bug. That's so cute.” You say. 

“Looks more like a peanut.” Tae says, looking up at you with a wide boxy smile. This moment feels precious, surrounded by real unconditional love. Welcome to your new beginning Y/n. 

Part Six

Master List

Part Eight

[cheolbooluvr]

wait hold on so your follower count has increased by a hundred since I got here? 🥺 this is awesome, Chris, congrats! 🥳 and I think everything can be a milestone if it's one for you 🤗 and if u want to do something special to celebrate, go for it! :D as long as you do it for yourself and not because you feel like you have to, do you hear me? <.< about "Something Special"...it's just 🥺 really something special lmao funfact, when DK started singing "ice cream, you scream" and so on, I was immediately reminded on "Ice Cream" by TXT as the lyrics go "i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream". Idk if you know them but they had their comeback on monday and this is one of the b-side tracks. I actually had to check if the lyrics are the same but I think you published the fic on the same day they released the album so that would be almost impossible anyway 😅 now, the banner for "the zest of life" is sooooooooo cute 🥺 and everything you post about it just makes me more and more excited skajdjlkwjeadswa literally can't wait until you post it <3 also HAPPY JUNE TO YOU TOO <333 I'm also highkey excited for your other wips, especially your series and the sequels :D the gif of the dog looking out the window is soooooo relatable why are you so cute 🥺 you're right, I discovered your blog through class president and I couldn't be happier about it 🥰 ngl, enemies to lovers (+ fake dating) is one of my favourite genres and then there's friends to lovers and I'm all soft and cuddly 🥺 nooooo, don't make yourself cry D; tho I definitely get your pain 💔 being a perfectionist doesn't make your life easy but it leads to great results when it comes to your fics :D and I'm very happy to hear that you're slowly getting over it and feel better about your writing <3 definitely gonna note that website down since I'm currently trying to write myself lmao failing greatly at it because I never manage to actually finish a wip. which brings me to the fanfic writer ask game :D 🍄 how do you get yourself in the mood to write? I'm really curious about this because sometimes I just can't get myself to write though I actually would love to 🙁 ahhh the good old times in middle school everyone regrets when they get older :'D when I'm on a holiday with my family or literally just anywhere outside I'm taking photos with my phone of everything that crosses my way and looks in the slightest way worth capturing my storage space is hysterically laughing in the distance :') would love to see some photos taken by you some day ngl well, I haven't continued watching Vincenzo yet, I keep watching Friends atm though thanks for the heads up <3 and I love Chayoung, she's iconic but after I learned who she works for I was lowkey disappointed :( trying not to spoiler anything rn for anyone else akjdnwaölkejd srsly, I don't think any of my friends has a healthy sleep schedule though we all have to get up early but I hope you slept well last night and have a great day <3 wait, I wanted to ask you in which time zone you live? Because it was 7pm here when you said it's 11am for you, so I was wondering 😅 sending love and good vibes ❤️✨

yes omg you’ve been here basically since the beginning 😭 i know i say this a lot, but your support means the world to me and i’m thankful you’re here with me on this journey💕 i might just wait until i hit 200 to do a celebration! i want to try to get through these reqs from the first milestone and then we shall see how i’m feeling. but eternally grateful for all the support and growth anyways :’)

hehe ‘something special’ is part of a whole long series i’ve been writing for my friend and i (for our eyes only) but it’s one of my favorite scenes and him dropping the ice cream just felt very on brand 😭 he’s so silly and i love him and his bright energy. also funny story abt txt, i literally decided to stan them for reals w this comeback! so i know exactly what you’re talking abt!!! and actually i just did a smol uke cover of anti-romantic heh it’s been on repeat for the last few days and i love the whole album. every song is so good, esp 0X1=lovesong and dear sputnik, in addition to anti-romantic and ice cream ofc! well actually they’re all good sjdfkjadlf but yeah i think i’m officially a moa now :D

ahhhh thank you i love the banner!! i was soooo excited for it bc i finally figured out how to edit gifs on photoshop which is a GAME CHANGER (had to stop myself from making gifs for all my fics bc my computer actually can’t handle the processing so now i need to update the hardware skdjaldks but that’s another story) anyways ahhh i’m happy to hear that you’re excited for it! i hope it meets your expectations <3

man, my wips, i wish i could i just crank them all out bc i wanna know what happens askdlal i’ve been saying this a lot lately, but i’m like, WHAT HAPPENS and i have to respond to myself like IDK U TELL ME and my internal monologue is just that back and forth 💀 but i think that’s a great lead in to your ask game question:

🍄how do you get yourself in the mood to write? honestly, it usually just kind of hits me at random times. some days, i have so many ideas and so i’ll plot everything out but i won’t actually write, so i’ll leave it for a while and then maybe come back to it when i get too impatient with myself. other days, if i feel stuck, what i’ll do is just kind of word vomit my thoughts and go back and edit everything later, or feel out the vibes. but i feel you, writing is honestly very hard, especially if the motivation just isn’t there :’( but i think my best advice is to just get ideas out of your head and onto theoretical paper!! then just start typing even if it’s just your thoughts like “uh idk what to write but maybe if kdjflsfjlkas”

omg no i feel that, before i upgraded my phone, my camera roll was just full of photos (and also pics of sf9 and svt LOL). but i just made a thread on my twt abt my fave photos and i’d be happy to share them :)) (see below)

mmm i won’t say anything abt vincenzo until you start it back up again ;) but friends!! that reminds me, i need to watch the reunion ep!!??! not ready to cry tho :’)

i hAD a sleep schedule at some point in my life, but now... it’s messed up again LOL but i’m in the mountain time zone in the states ! so 1 hour ahead of PST if that’s any help kdljasf but i hope you’re getting rest and sleep!! i’m a big advocate for sleep and rest so !!!!!!!!!!

anyways, sending my love as always <3

EDIT: JUST REALIZED I NEVER POSTED THE PHOTOS HOLD ON DKJLASKLADS

EDIT 2: okay here we go

[mykpopwire]

interview: DRIPPIN sets off their journey with [Boyager]

DRIPPIN has finally made their debut with 1st Mini Album [Boyager]

Let’s get to know more about the seven talented boys!

1. First of all, please introduce yourself.

Cha Jun Ho: Hello, I’m DRIPPIN’s Cha Jun Ho.

Hwang Yun Seong: I’m DRIPPIN’s leader and main dancer, Hwang Yun Seong.

Kim Dong Yun: Hello, I’m DRIPPIN’s all-rounder, Dong Yun.

Lee Hyeop: Hello, I’m DRIPPIN’s main vocal, Lee Hyeop.

Joo Chang Uk: Hello, I’m DRIPPIN’s third member, Chang Uk.

Alex: Hello, I’m yellow haired Alex who escaped from mullet.

Kim Min Seo: Hello I’m Min Seo, fresh high school senior in charge of bright snowdrops and innocence in DRIPPIN.

2. Can you share with us about your debut album?

Hwang Yun Seong: Boyager is a combination of word ‘boy’ means boy and ‘voyager’ which means long-distance traveller. It's also the name of an American unmanned space probe. It (Boyager) means to overcome the fear of a new world and start a new journey with curiosity and determination for dreams.

Cha Jun Ho: Our debut album Boyager is a combination of ‘boy’ meaning boy and ‘voyager’ meaning long-distance traveller. It means that we are going on a new journey with curiosity and determination of our dreams.

Cha Jun Ho

3. Are there other group names being considered before DRIPPIN is chosen as the official name?

Cha Jun Ho: Actually, I couldn't come up with a different name. I thought about it for a long time but it didn't come out. So, as soon as I heard the cool name DRIPPIN, I got hooked.

Hwang Yun Seong: I’ve considered it, we have been thinking among us and I also put a lot of thoughts on it personally. The CEO also asked me if there’s any names that I thought of, but it’s not easy. Even when we shared our ideas, only strange things came out and it wasn’t easy. But when the name DRIPPIN came out, I was very satisfied.

Kim Dong Yun: The name DRIPPIN is the name that our CEO gave us. Before it was decided, we thought about it among ourselves but coming up with a name is harder that we thought.

Lee Hyeop: The CEO once asked me if I had any ideas on it before, but at that time no matter how much I thought about it, nothing come to my mind.

Joo Chang Uk: The members had gathered to think of a team name before, but it wasn't easy!

Alex: I have never considered a name other than DRIPPIN.

Kim Min Seo: Among us, we have thought of the names as beetles and butane gas as a joke. 

Hwang Yun Seong

4. What kind of music you wish to pursue as DRIPPIN? 

Cha Jun Ho: I want to do music that will make me think it's trendy and sophisticated even when I listen to it in the future.

Hwang Yun Seong: Rather than any kind of music, I think I’ll sing variety of new and different songs that will lead the trend in the future.

Kim Dong Yun: I want to do music that can give people joy and happiness.

Lee Hyeop: I want to be a group that shows good music and performance through our own interpretation of various topics and experiences.

Joo Chang Uk: I want to try various music so that we can be a team that is able to pull off variety of music.

Alex: Just like the name of our album, we will pursue music that will give people happiness and explore and discover the novelty of music.

Kim Min Seo: Just like our group name, I want to pursue DRIPPIN-like song with our own colour.

Kim Dong Yun

5. Who is the artist that you look up to while preparing to debut?

Cha Jun Ho: As we worked together, I felt that our company’s Golden Child who showed us great performances even though there are a lot of people, is amazing.

Hwang Yun Seong: Seventeen’s Hoshi and Shinee’s Taemin.

Kim Dong Yun: I always look up to BTS since I was a student.

Lee Hyeop: I like and admire EXO’s Baekhyun.

Joo Chang Uk: I didn't think much about it while preparing for my debut. But after I made my debut, I was so proud of all the idols.

Alex: Stray Kids’ Felix, Han and Bang Chan.

6. Your first impression of each other?

Cha Jun Ho: At first, I thought everyone was shy because everyone was introverts.

Hwang Yun Seong: I wonder if I was in the position to lead when I first saw them. But throughout all the years I was able to be the leader as they were all so innocent. I was a baby too, but everyone else had more baby-like side so they were shy around strangers. Now we are all playing tricks on each other.

Kim Dong Yun: I thought everyone was handsome. If you look now, we sort of resemble each other.

Lee Hyeop: Most of the members were difficult to get close kind of person, timid. So, at first everyone seems to quietly adapt themselves.

Joo Chang Uk: My first impression was that the members were all gentle and considerate of each other.

Kim Min Seo: Everyone looked at me and thought I was amazing. I‘ve never seen anyone like this, but what does this mean…?

Lee Hyeop

7. If you are a superhero, what kind of superpower would you have? 

Cha Jun Ho: Ability to stop the time.

Hwang Yun Seong: I'm greedy, so superpower like Superman.

Kim Dong Yun: I want to have mind control ability.

Lee Hyeop: Superpower to manipulate time.

Joo Chang Uk: I want to have the teleportation ability, to move comfortably from place to place.

Alex: Teleportation ability.

Kim Min Seo: The ability to feel 12 hours of sleep even after an hour of sleep.

8. What do you usually do during your free time?

Cha Jun Ho: Usually I go for practice or cleaning.

Hwang Yun Seong: I watch dance videos or sleep. I enjoy visiting good restaurants and watch movies when I have the energy.

Kim Dong Yun: I often play cell phone games or watch YouTube while lying on the bed.

Lee Hyeop: I feel like I’m resting when cooking or doing small chores at home.

Joo Chang Uk: I practice singing or just lying down watching movies.

Alex: I usually spend time with my family or enjoy playing video games.

Kim Min Seo: I usually go for practice.

Joo Chang Uk

9. Which colour suits your personality the most?

Cha Jun Ho: Sky blue?

Hwang Yun Seong: White.

Kim Dong Yun: Orange, not very bright and it's a comfortable colour. So, I think it goes well with me.

Lee Hyeop: Yellow, mild and warm on the outside, but full of passion like the sun on the inside.

Joo Chang Uk: Indigo, not just dark, but a little calm!

Alex: Mint and white.

Kim Min Seo: Red, blue and yellow.

10. One thing that you must do every single day.

Cha Jun Ho: Make sure to put on lotion.

Hwang Yun Seong: Dance practice.

Kim Dong Yun: Look in the mirror and check if my face is swollen.

Lee Hyeop: I must eat one meal well.

Joo Chang Uk: I must shower before I go to bed no matter what.

Alex: Wash my face with foam cleanser.

Kim Min Seo: Brush my teeth.

Alex

11. Will "We Are DRIPPIN!" continue after debut?

Cha Jun Ho: I don't know yet, but I really want to continue it!

Hwang Yun Seong: I want to continue it! Or I'll be a little sad!

Kim Dong Yun: I'd like to keep shooting every season.

Lee Hyeop: I'm not sure, but I'd like to continue it.

Joo Chang Uk: Even if it's not We Are DRIPPIN!, I want to do more reality shows like that.

Alex: Of course I want to continue it! I really hope there will be another season!

Kim Min Seo: I want to do it! I want to shoot We Are DRIPPIN! again.

12. Your goal as DRIPPIN member?

Cha Jun Ho: I want to give more positive impact on the team!

Hwang Yun Seong: To be at the top of K-Pop.

Kim Dong Yun: I want to be a member who brings life to the team and a member that comes to mind when you think of DRIPPIN.

Lee Hyeop: I want to be the older brother whom the younger brothers can lean on comfortably.

Joo Chang Uk: I want to develop my personal skills so that our team can advance to Billboard.

Alex: My goal is to stay healthy while doing all the activities and enjoy the stage with my fans.

Kim Min Seo: I want all the members to be healthy and be as close and happy as we are now.

Kim Min Seo

13. Lastly, can you say a few words to your fans in Malaysia?

Cha Jun Ho: Thank you for your support from afar! I’ll work hard so I hope we can meet often!!

Hwang Yun Seong: We finally debut!! Now is only the beginning, I hope we can repay you as much as your love and support and walk on flowery paths with you. I’ll lead DRIPPIN trend in the future, so please look forward to it. I’ll go to Malaysia and meet with you if I have the chance in the future. I love you so much.

Kim Dong Yun: Hello Malaysia fans!! They say it's not easy to like us from afar so thank you so much!! I’ll never forget your support and will work hard to repay you!! See you in Malaysia!!! Bye!!

Lee Hyeop: Thank you so much for waiting for us for such a long time and we will repay you with great songs and performances! I love you ❤️

Joo Chang Uk: Hello Malaysia fans, I'm Chang Uk and I finally debut as DRIPPIN. Thank you so much for waiting so long. I'll always do my best to repay the fans for all the time that they've been waiting for!!

Alex: Hello Malaysia!! Although we can't meet you face-to-face now because of the epidemic, we will try our best to meet you guys as soon as possible! Take care of your health and hwaiting!!

Kim Min Seo: Malaysia fans~ You’ve been waiting for a long time haven't you..? Thank you so much for your patience. We finally made our debut. We have prepared as much as you expected, so please look forward to it. I love you 😍😍

*Photos courtesy of Woollim Entertainment

Don’t forget to like and follow My K-Pop Wire for more K-Pop interviews, debut and comeback updates!

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Twitter: @mykpopwire

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Watch DRIPPIN Nostalgia MV here!

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[sylphid187]

Coming Home, Taking Flight ‐ Chapter 2: Road to Osaka

This Chapter 2 of my fic focusing on Hinata's journey home. A look into Hinata's return to Japan, his interactions with his friends, and how he makes it into the MSBY Black Jackals.

Hinata Shoyou wakes up religiously the next morning. He gets up, goes for a morning jog, gets some yoga in his routine, then makes time for morning meditation. He makes sure to do all this, before heading to the kitchen to make some breakfast for his family. 

He spent most of yesterday and last night catching up with his family and friends, who had to leave late in the night, after they realized that the sun was down and Tsukishima still had to drive Yachi and Yamaguchi home. During dinner, Shouyou had spent blissful time with his family, his mother seemingly very happy about having the returning presence of her eldest, back in their household. He is reminded again how being back in the company of his family in their own home, was so comforting. 

He walks around their kitchen and, as he waits for the rice to finish cooking, he goes into the fridge to find some salmon slices and some tofu. Shouyou smiles and figures that he probably has enough ingredients to make a healthy japanese breakfast with the salmon, and he's sure his mom has enough ingredients to make some miso soup to go with the meal. He smiles as he is reminded of how he fiddled around in hisbshared space with Pedro, and how Shouyou would usually make breakfast for his roommate, before going to wake him so they could enjoy a meal together. 

As much as Shouyou wanted to treat his family to some brazillian recipes he'd learned from Nice, he didn't have enough ingredients for it right now. So he promises himself he'd do that another day. He'd be more than happy to share the other culture that he's grown to love, with the one that he grew up with. 

Later, when Shouyou is just about finished with setting up the table and their morning meal, he hears padded footsteps make their way through their dining area, and is sure that it's Natsu that's making her way to the kitchen. He hears a gasp and looks up to find that he's guessed right, and Natsu is there staring at their table. 

"Wow Nii-chan, this looks great!" she claps her hands together in glee and continues to scan over what Shouyou has made. 

"Thanks Natsu! Hope you like it! I packed one for mom so she can take it with her to work." Shouyou smiled. His mother still worked on the weekends, and she was used to laboring hard as a single mother. She had worked hard her whole life to sustain Shouyou and Natsu. Shouyou hopes that his dreams of going pro wouldn't just be a benefit to him, but would help lighten the load on his family too. 

"It really does look good! I can't wait to dig in!" Natsu clasps her hands together again, before heading to the sink to wash them, and sitting down at her usual spot on the table. 

Shouyou then sits across from her, and they both give thanks before beginning to dig in. Natsu immediately gives out a happy squeal after a few bites, and Shouyou can't help but chuckle at his sister's antics. He's extremely pleased though that she seems to genuinely like his food. "Nii-chan! This is so good! It looked great, but it tastes even better." 

Shouyou grins. "Flattery will get you nowhere Natsu, but thank you. I'm really happy you like it." 

"It's a real shame you won't be staying longer Nii-chan. I wouldn't mind eating more of your cooking. You're leaving this afternoon right?" she asks him with a smile. 

"That's right. I'll leave by noon, sorry I won't be able to spend more time with you and mom. And I just got home too." Shouyou states, a little gloomy at the thought. 

It saddens him a bit that he can't spend more time with his family, just after he's gotten back. But Shouyou cut it really close when he chose to fly back yesterday. He couldn't book earlier flights because he also wanted to maximize spending time with Pedro, Heitor, Nice and Coach. That, and he did promise to wait after Heitor and Nice's wedding.  But, he needed to be home in time to make it to tryouts. Granted, his chosen flight really didn't give him much time for any detours. Tryouts were on Monday, and today was Saturday. The plan was to head out Saturday afternoon to Osaka via train. 

The train ride from Miyagi to Higashiosaka in Osaka was about nine hours. He had planned to leave around noon to get to Osaka by 10pm. He still had to find a place to stay, but he figured he would work it out when he got there. He could, of course, leave on a Sunday. But Shouyou wanted to have enough time to familiarize himself with the area before tryouts, and have at least a little bit of time to get in shape while waiting for the day to arrive. He didn't want to show up to Osaka not knowing where he was headed and end up missing tryouts because he got lost. With this, he'd at least have a full day to go around the area. 

"Don't apologize to us for following your dreams, Shouyou." The two look to the sound of the voice, to find their mother there with a smile on her face. "We support you, always remember that. And whenever you're having a hard day and need to come home, we'll be here to welcome you back." 

"Mama..." Shouyou smiles. He really was very lucky, and he will never tell himself otherwise. 

"That's right Nii-chan! And I can't wait to tell my friends and teammates all about you when you make the team!" Natsu says as she shoves another piece of fish in her mouth. 

"Natsu! I told you I have to make the team first. There's definitely tons of competition for a spot on the team." He contemplates on this. He's both nervous and excited for tryouts, but he will definitely be doing his best, no matter who his competition is. 

Their mother goes to the countertop and picks up the lunch Shouyou made and smiles at her son. "Oh believe me, you'll make it." 

"Mama! Not you too! I don't wanna be overconfident about it." 

"Shouyou, I'm not saying it because of any other reason, but because I truly believe that you'll make it." She goes over to him and pats his head. "It doesn't matter to me how old you and Natsu ever grow up to be. I will always be your number one fan. And you always remember one thing, I am so very proud of you." 

" Thank you." Shouyou feels like crying, but he stops himself and opts for a wide smile instead. "I'll definitely ace tryouts, you'll see. I'll make sure they notice me."

"Yes you will!" Natsu chimes in. 

"I know you will." She thanks him for the meal he's made for her before kissing both kids on the cheek and making her way to the door. "By the way Shouyou, are your things packed for later?" 

"Yep! I made sure I had everything before going to sleep last night." He says with a proud smile. "I might end up leaving a little earlier though. I want to make sure I catch the train on time." 

This makes their mother stop in her tracks, and Natsu snicker. "Shouyou, did you think you were taking the train?" 

Shouyou is confused. "Yes? I mean, how else am I supposed to get to Osaka?" he asks as he tilts his head to the side. 

"Natsu." 

Natsu grins "Don't worry about it mama. Nii-chan will find out later anyway. So everyone agreed to keep quiet about it." 

"Keep quiet about what?" Shouyou asks again as he looks between them both. "Am I missing something?"

"It's a surprise." And what a surprise it was. 

 ---

Shouyou was just grabbing his things and about to head out the door, Natsu following behind him. "Nii-chan I really think you should wait a bit." 

"Sorry Natsu, if I wait any longer I might miss my train!" He ruffled her hair affectionately and continued "Take good care of mama while I'm away, okay?" 

"Nii-chan wait!" Natsu tries to grab Shouyou as he opens the door, but misses. He slides their door open and comes face to face with none other than Kozume Kenma and Kuroo Tetsurou. 

Shouyou blinks. And then again. And again. "Kenma-nii! Kuroo-nii! You made it just in time." he hears Natsu speak from behind him. 

"Yo, chibi-chan! What's up?" Kuroo's personality hasn't changed at least, Shouyou thinks. 

"Wha...what are you guys doing here?!" Shouyou gasps, as he looks over at the newcomers. 

"Shouyou." He looks over to Kenma who is smiling at him. "I'd like to think you owe me a better greeting than that." 

"Yeah, that's kinda hurtful chibi-chan. After we came all the way here to take you to Osaka." Kuroo says with a grin as he slings his arm around Kenma's shoulder. 

" You're taking me to Osaka?!" Shouyou exclaims again in shock. 

Kenma sighs, a small smile still on his face. He dislodges himself from Kuro’s hold and goes to envelope Shouyou in a hug. It takes a moment, but Shouyou relaxes and immediately hugs back. "Welcome home Shouyou." 

Shouyou feels someone ruffling his hair and he opens his eyes to see Kuroo there with a smile. "Glad to have you back Chibi-chan" 

He feels Kenma let go, and the gamer finally stands back to take a good look at Shouyou after all this time. "You look good." 

"Thanks Kenma! You too!" He grins. 

"Should I be jealous?" Kuroo asks with a smirk as he watches them, but one look from Kenma shuts him up as he raises his hand in resignation. He chuckles and shakes his head, allowing the two to continue talking.  

"You've changed too." Kenma continues as he grins. "I can't wait to see what else you're gonna do Shouyou." 

"If you get boring, I'll drop you."  

Shouyou ends up giving out a nervous laugh as he remembers Kenma's words from back then, just when Kenma offered to become his sponsor. But deep down, he knows that Kenma has only ever done everything he could to help Shouyou, and that was said in jest...probably. The former Nekoma setter was just really fascinated with him, for some reason. 

"As much as I love the touching reunion, we have to move folks. It's a 10 hour drive to Osaka!" Kuro exclaims as he pats their backs. 

Kuro and Kenma both begin to help Shouyou and Natsu bring the former's things to the car. While they're loading up, Shouyou continues to say thanks to his friends for taking the time to bring him to  their destination. "I really appreciate it you guys, thank you. I was fine with taking the train though!" 

Kenma scrunches his face in disapproval and replies "There's no way we'd let you take the train, not when we had the time to pick you up ourselves." 

"I hope you guys didn't put off anything important." he tells them. He knows how busy Kenma has been, as he's regularly kept in touch in Brazil. 

"I can manage Shouyou, don't worry too much about it." Kenma says with a wave of his hand. 

"What Kenma means to say, is that if he had it his way, he would have been the one to pick you up from the airport too. Unfortunately, he lost at a game of rock-paper-scissors to Tsukki and had to give the airport pickup to them. And he also wants you to know that he finished all his workload early to make sure we were free when you got here. So don't you worry about it." Kuroo says as he shuts the trunk and dusts his hands. He looks over at the two with a large grin before he feels someone lightly punch his side. 

Kenma gives Kuroo a glare and then another playful shove. "Just get in the car before I decide to leave you here Kuro." 

"Awww you'd never do that kitten." Kenma stares at Kuro with a piercing gaze, and Shouyou thinks if looks could kill, that was it. "Annndd I'll be quiet now. Come on chibi-chan! let's get you to Osaka!" 

Natsu waves at them animatedly as they all get in the car. She lets out a loud "Keep safe!" as they drive away from the Hinata household and begin their 10 hour car ride. 

The ride begins similarly to that of yesterday, filled with catching up and updates on how everyone else has been doing. Shouyou has had little contact with the former Nekoma team, with the exception of Kenma and Kuroo. This wasn't for the lack of trying either, but he’s only ever occasionally spoken to Inouka and Lev, and that's during one or two video calls during a day off. It isn't a surprise to him that team Nekoma have all worked their way up the ladder as they grew up, and even through their success, continued to stay connected within their own circle. Kenma and Kuroo themselves regularly spoke to all their former teammates and told Shouyou much of how they were all doing. 

"Waaah! I've heard from Lev about his modeling career! I didn't know he'd become such a big name in Russia." he exclaims excitedly. 

"Lev is still Lev. He might look pristine and proper in the photos, but he's just as loud as ever." Kenma says with a sigh, as if just talking about Lev was tiring him out. 

Kuroo guffaws. "At least he's mellowed down some because of Yaku." 

Shouyou tits his head "Are they?" 

Kuroo looks at him from the rearview mirror and smiles. "We can neither confirm nor deny, I'm afraid. Neither of them have said anything, but Yaku's sent us photos of them together. It's pretty common at this point, ever since Yakkun's been playing for the Russian V-League." 

"We hear he plans to come back though. There's some talk that they've begun to scout for players fit for the Japanese volleyball olympic team, and Yaku wants to be here and play for Japan." Kenma states, as he begins to fiddle with what seems like a new game console. 

"Ah yeah! Bokuto's been excited about that too. But he wants the Jackals to win this season first and finally kill the Alder's winning streak." Kuro tells them with a smirk. "And you know, they might actually be able to if you make it on the team chibi-chan." 

"Ahaha...well I'll definitely make sure to make an impression during tryouts." Shouyou says. "I can't wait to see Bokuto-san on Monday! I wonder if he'll be watching tryouts?" 

"From what Bo tells me, Coach Foster is requiring them to watch this year. He wants the whole team's opinion on getting a new player." Kuro replies. 

"Shouyou, what do you mean by seeing Bokuto on Monday?" Kenma immediately asks, putting his game down and turns to look at Shouyou. 

"Eh? I mean, I won't be seeing him till tryouts." Shouyou reiterates with a tilt of his head, when else would he find the time to see Bokuto-san? 

"Wait chibi-chan, aren't you going to..." Kuro doesn't get to finish. 

"Shouyou, where in Osaka are you staying? Sorry, we forgot to ask earlier." Kenma asks him. 

"Oh! Sorry, my bad. I was wondering if you guys knew of any affordable budget hotels that you can drop me off in that's near the tryouts gym?" Shouyou asks with a smile. He sees Kenma freeze and Kuroo's eyebrows shoot up. 

"..." Kenma stays silent for a little too long, and Shouyou wonders if he's said something he shouldn't have. 

"I can look one up though! So you guys can drop me off somewhere in the area and I should be able to find one that'll let me stay two nights!" 

"Kuro." That's all he hears Kenma say, before the rooster haired man is nodding and passing his phone to Kenma. 

"Got it. Just send the text out and let them know it's you. Shouldn't be a problem." Kuroo replies. Shouyou doesn't understand what's happening.

"Um." 

Kuroo looks over at him again. "Don't worry about it chibi-chan, we know exactly where to take you." 

"Really? Where?" He asks, confused. 

"You'll see." 

He can see Kenma vigorously typing a message using Kuroo's phone, and once he's done, looks over to Shouyou again with a smile. "You're not sleeping in a random hotel, Shouyou. I'm not letting you." 

"Eh?" 

"Don't worry though, we've already found a solution." Kenma continues with a smile. 

"Eeh?" 

"Better to just go with it, there's no stopping Kenma when he's like this." Kuroo grins again. 

"But..." Shouyou begins to protest. He really hopes his friends aren't spending money on him. "K-Kenma..." 

"But you know," Kenma stares at him then, with catlike eyes that seem to be boring into his soul. "If you ever do something like this again and not let me know, I'll be really upset Shouyou." 

"Eeehhhh?" Shouyou binks. He looks between the two and can't help his confusion from growing. 

What in the world is Kenma talking about? And where in the world were they taking him?! 

CHAPTER 1 BELOW

[bonfire-at-the-crossroads]

Rutger Hauer has passed, and is on his way through the stars, toward the shoulder of Orion and the Tannhauser Gate.

He gave himself to the world of film and created characters which will continue to inspire the people lucky enough to share in the dreams he left behind.

I wrote this a couple years ago - and maybe it’s time to look at it again.

Thank you Mr Hauer for leaving this place a little brighter for your having been here.

Good journey, peace at last.....

————————————————————————————————————-

January 8, 2016

It's Roy Batty's birthday.

Ridley Scott's 1982 movie - Blade Runner - cast Rutgers Hauer as the renegade Replicant in search of his maker.

The film was a brilliant adaptation of Philip K Dick's "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?"

Roy and a small group of Nexus-6 Replicants, have stolen an off-world transport, killed the crew, and returned to earth - in an attempt to coerce their designer to extend their programmed four-year lifespan. January 8, 2016 was the day of Roy's inception, and also the day his genetic coding has scheduled him for death.

He is being hunted by Harrison Ford, as hired-gun Deckard - a Blade Runner - paid to track and kill escaped Replicants.

----------------------------------------------

In 1982 - the idea of the year 2016 was a mind-numbing distance away.

"The Future" was a place where anything was possible, and our wildest dreams would come true.

It seems like yesterday.

And yet, when I started thinking about the world I inhabited in '82, and where I've washed up on the shores of 2016 - it's been quite an extended sea voyage.

I was married to somebody else.

We walked into town to the little movie theater on Central Avenue, and as we moved to our seats, were told by the usher ( yeah, that's right - there were still ushers ) -"You shouldn't even bother with this movie. It stinks. Four people at the last show actually asked for their money back."

We loved it.

Minds were blown - and we went back two more times, bringing friends.

That Christmas Eve - I had a small stroke. I was 26.

At the time, I was more worried about how the news would affect my husband - and did not fully appreciate my own predicament. He overheard the doctor on the phone making arrangements for what was then, the only echocardiogram machine in the New York area.

"Is that about you?" He asked. I nodded.

My husband passed out cold on the waiting room floor.

I survived. Had test after test after test, and slowly got my left side back under my own control.

Time passed.

We tried for the baby - and a series of horrors led to the loss of pregnancy, and culminated with a 3:00 AM visit to the emergency room.

The husband was so upset - he left me by the hospital entrance, and drove home.

When he inevitably decided that he needed "space" and wanted to "take a break" -(clearly, his office-affair had nothing to do with this decision ) - I used the time to take a good long look at the marriage.

When he came back three months later - I was not the girl he had walked out on.

The world had changed, and so had the locks.

-------------------------------------------------

I moved into the West Village with a girlfriend. It was awkward having a roommate after having a husband, home, and mortgage - but I made it work.

An unusual boyfriend followed, and several years of actors, artists, and cabaret performers filled my days and nights.

It was Manhattan in the '80's. There were nights out spent dancing at the clubs til dawn.

The Met was open late on Friday nights, and my group of fellow oddballs wandered the museum halls every week for over a year.

Art and illustration was my livelihood. I knew everyone in the Village ( at least by sight) and was completely comfortable in my element.

But my friends got sick.

And my friends started dying.

AIDS ravaged the world.

The Village was ground zero, and everyone was terrified. We didn't know where it was coming from, didn't know how to cope with the skeletal friend, the friend covered with sarcoma blotches - was it the end of the world?

In many ways - yes. It was.

The best, brightest, most talented people on earth were dying out - and all I could do was hold hands at the bedside, and attend memorial services.

There was a three month period when I went to a service EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

My dearest friend, Bruce - I never even knew when he was well. We were fellow illustrators, and spent hours a day with phone cocked between shoulder and ear - talking while we drew in our separate studios. He was in Chelsea, I was on the corner of Perry and West Fourth.

We brought children's books to life, and loved the work.

As AIDS ravaged his body, he needed to take long naps in the afternoons. His fever would spike uncontrollably - he called it "Shake and Bakes."

He fussed over the ugly sarcoma lesions which appeared on his arms and hands - he found a theatrical makeup which he swore would cover them up so that nobody would know.

Everybody pretended that it worked.

"Well, my sweet darling angel - I took a shower this morning, and guess what? I watched all my hair go down the drain."

Some medication he was taking, combined with what may have been a chemotherapy cocktail - took every hair on his head.

He entered the shower - with.

Exited - without.

He had been told this might be a possibility, and had already purchased a wig from a professional Broadway wig-maker.

It was awful looking, but we continued to pretend.

He slipped farther away, and was hospitalized on a closed floor reserved for AIDS patients.

I visited every single day.

I brought tiny gifts, saved up stories to make him laugh - and built my day around spending time with him.

His family wouldn't come and see him. Friends did their best, but simply couldn't be with him when push had finally come down to shove.

I remember shouting at his brother on the pay phone in the hospital hallway "I can't make this better. I'm not allowed to make decisions for his care, because I'm not a family member. He is dying, and you need to be here."

He wasn't.

I held Bru's hand, and wiped his forehead. I asked the nurse to turn up his oxygen because he was struggling and begging for air. "It's as high as it will go." she said - and even though it was time for all visitors to leave, she said I could stay.

The day before, he had spent time with a priest who had given him what I now believe was last rites. He seemed comforted, and we said what needed to be said.

"You know Bru....I will ALWAYS love you."

He smiled and said. "I know. And I will always love you too."

He took his last breath a little before midnight.

I closed his eyes.

Twenty seven years have passed since that night.

-----------------------------------------------

The unusual boyfriend fell victim to his own silliness. He convinced himself that another woman was sending him messages about being attracted to him - and he needed "some space" to explore the magic.

He did.

She didn't

And I was magically single again.

As 1990 dawned - the Internet had not been invented.

The cell phone - wasn't.

Video rental stores were visited daily, and made money hand-over-fist.

Blonde, Madonna, and all that wonderful 80's music that my kids now think is divine - were the sounds of the decade.

And I didn't quite trust CD's.....

Times Square was just beginning to shed the peep shows and adult movie houses.

It was gritty, and how I loved it.

July 4th of 1990 I found myself eating in the diner downstairs from my apartment on the corner of 14th St and Seventh Avenue.

It was empty.

I ate my bluefish dinner and went back upstairs to the drawing board.

One single red rocket cleared the rooftops and the stars rained down.

I was bored.

Decided to place a personal ad in The Village Voice. "Looking for an interesting conversation over a cup of coffee....." and some other minor nonsense.

Over 350 people responded in the three days I checked the answering machine.

"I've never answered a personal ad," said the voice on the phone."I live with a grey cat. And I'm reading DUNE. Maybe you could call me, and we'll get a cup of coffee?"

On our third date, he never went back home.

"You know what? It's getting kind of silly to keep paying for an apartment to keep my cat in...."

"So what are you saying?" I asked. "Are you asking to officIally move in here?"

" Nope. Let's get married. It'll be fun. I'm not exactly getting younger - either are you. Why not?"

"It'll either work - or it won't. What's the reason that we shouldn't at least TRY?"

He talked me into it.

Brian and I were married in the Cathedral of St John the Divine, three months after our first date. Twenty five years ago, last October.

Babies happened. Three in a row. "Irish triplets" as my obstetrician called them.

Quinn.

Morgan.

Maddie.

They were (and are ) the three finest people I have ever known - and are the center of my soul.

Brian and I survived critical fulcrum points where the smallest waver would have plunged all of us into hell.

We stared death in the face - death blinked, and looked away,

more than once.

We walked away from alcoholism.

Left cigarettes behind,

Did battle with depression,

and kept walking....

We've skated on the thinnest of financial ice for YEARS.

We've worked and worked and worked some more - and it was never going to be enough to keep the ship afloat.

The kids, as we've laughed over the years have "Never missed a meal."

Nothing was easy, but our youngest will be the third to graduate from college in the Spring. Yes, there are loans to be paid - and we'll do everything we can to help them gain traction in their lives.

About a year and a half ago we took a good hard look at where the road was leading us. Our ability to maintain the income necessary to support our lives in Westchester county, in a big house with a big mortgage - huge utility bills, and a dwindling job market - we came up with a plan.

The bank was unhappy with our syncopated mortgage payment schedule - and really wanted their house back. Things were sliding downhill, and we simply couldn't stop it.

"Let's take the money from my last free-lance job, and buy a house in Ireland."

Found one.

And did.

Sold the house in Westchester.

Packed up everything we could.

Got on the plane.

And here we are.

January 8th, 2016, and it's 1982 all over again.

The Replicant is out of time.

He sits high on the rooftops above the city, rain is pouring from the black skies - and Roy Batty,- in his last moment of life - knows what it is to be fully human.

"I've seen things, you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

We all go through the motions. We get out of bed every day, and do our best to keep our lives and our families moving forward.

We work.

And plan.

And strive for happiness.

I'm no Roy - but I too, have seen things that will pass away with me when I go.

I, too, have learned what it is to be fully, and completely - human.

[afuerterosa]

La Boda

Memphis:

|Takes a gander around and straightens @MindYourPanties's jacket, flashing a grin @LaLolaDelores when I see her seated close, speaking low.| Did you see her, Chico? Beautiful doesn't cut it.

Lita:

•meets @AContraryRise and @MyArrowBends behind the curtain, giving each a kiss on the cheek, and speaking in hushed tones• Thank you. For this...y todo! •looks down at Gizmo in his little tie, giving his fuzzy cheek a kiss too. Then sets him down in the ground, keeping his leash in my hand so he can proudly trot out in front of us when the time comes to walk down the aisle•

Keanu:

Whoa! Excellent. -smirks- You know, people keep asking me if I’m back, and I haven’t really had an answer. But, now… -takes my time to look around the room before finally settling my eyes on @AFuerteRosa and @InTheHandsOFate- Yeah, I’m thinking I’m back! Now, before I get started, I wanted to impart some wisdom on you. The key to a great marriage is staying out of unnecessary arguments. -looks pointedly at @InTheHandsOFate- If she says 1 + 1 = 5, your answer is you’re absolutely correct. -shoots a wink to @AFuerteRosa then returns my attention the rest of the room- It’s fun to be hopelessly in love. It’s dangerous, but it’s fun. So, without further ado… Who is giving this beautiful bride away? Please bring her closer.

Lita:

•takes a deep breath, smiling at both Madyx and Atticus as I hook my arm through each of theirs, my eyes first taking in the altar before locking with Memphis’ as I’m walked down the aisle, Gizmo trying to steal the show as he prances in front of us•

Madyx:

<grins, pride welling because our girl is about to have her moment, her day...long overdue and so much deserved, leaving the hand patting for Atticus, whispering as we approach the altar> You've got this, Bombacita. Tonight was just waiting for you to meet it. Fate.

Atticus:

-Taking the leash for Gizmo from Lita as we stop just shy of the alter. My eyes give @InTheHandsOFate the once over- We’re sure about this, right? Want me to cut him? -asshole laughs before Lita can tell me to fuck off- I KID! I KID. Keanu!! She is here and we’re giving her away!

Memphis:

|Watching as you took Gizmo's leash, I noticed his bow tie and your outfit, thinking how happy @AFuerteRosa was to see you in it before my gaze truly fell on hers. She was so breathtakingly beautiful.| Stunning, Cara Mia.. |I had to say it before @OnePlusOnEqual5 continued.|

Keanu:

-turns to address @InTheHandsOfFate, giving a nod, that smirk firmly in place- Now, for your intentions. Do you @InTheHandsOFate, take this woman to be your wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live and beyond? No matter where your souls take you?

Memphis:

|Nodding once, I spoke aloud, probably louder than I should of but I wanted everyone to hear it.| Si, I do. |winks @AFuerteRosa, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair back behind her ear. Needing to touch her in some way.|

Keanu:

That's good to hear. -Chuckles, turning to @AFuerteRosa- Do you, Lita, take this man to be your husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live and beyond? No matter where your souls take you?

Lita:

•instinctively leans into @InTheHandsOFate’s touch when he tucks my hair behind my ear, my whole body buzzing with excited energy, and speaking before @OnePlusOnEqual5 finishes his sentence• Si. •shoots Keanu an apologetic look and laughs• I mean...I do.

Keanu:

-Chuckling again at your excitement, I continue and motion between you and @InTheHandsOFate- I understand that the bride and groom have requested to speak their own vows. Memphis, you may go first.

Memphis:

|Turning to face @AFuerteRosa completely, I took in the sight of her and swallowed thickly. Today was the day we had been waiting for. It was finally here and as I took one last look at her in her dress, my eyes sweeping along the room at our friends, family, I felt frozen in time, rooted in the very spot I stood. This feeling, my heart racing and wanting to beat out of my chest? I relished it in her, in us..| Cara Mia, I promised you that today, we would share the lucky one status. I plan on keeping that promise but I wanted to let you know I struggled with the decision. Only because I look at you now and I can't phantom how I get to do this life with you. I won't start breaking promises today of all days but what I vow to you is this. I vow, to always enjoy your dancing around our kitchen. I vow, that I will always love seeing your hair do that swoop it does when you're really into it and you're smiling bright. I vow, that I will always, protect your kind heart, your colorful life and your beautiful soul. Our babies will know love, because of you. Because of the mama I already know you to be.. I would follow you anywhere, your light shines so bright in this world, the fact that I get to even catch a passing glimpse of the shooting star that is you, well.. I would wish for you every night for the rest of my life. And if your light were to burn out, I vow, to follow you into the dark. |Grabbing up your hand, I placed a small kiss to the back of it before dropping down, rubbing over your bump, our little nina.| I vow, to protect you too, to love and cherish you as your Papa. |Looks back up to @AFuerteRosa, grinning wide.|

Keanu:

-Looking between @InTheHandsOFate and @AFuerteRosa, I give a nod with a big grin.- Lita, please tell Memphis your vows.

Lita:

•narrows my eyes playfully at you when it sounds like you're going to try and claim today as your lucky day then letting out a little laugh when you assure me you're not going to break your promise. The laughing dying down as I listen to your words, tears building in my eyes, and blinking several times as a few stray tears slip down my face. And finally, gasping when you drop to your knees, the way you speak to our Little Jalapeno already causing my heart to swell. Not trusting my voice to speak when it's my turn, and clearing my throat a couple times before blowing out a slow breath• I should've gone first. •laughs• How am I supposed to follow that? •keeps my gaze locked with yours, becoming lost in those beautiful expressive brown eyes that I love so much, and finally beginning to speak again• Memphis, of all the people you’ve met on your journey, and all the places you’ve been, somehow and someway, you ended up here…with me. You always told me that we didn’t meet by chance. And I know now, without a doubt, that the uKniverse put you in front of me because we were meant to spend our lives together. You have filled my life with joy and have given me a sense of peace that I have never known. The purpose of my existence used to weigh heavily on my heart. But now, I am able to separate the two and experience pure joy. Every day is not just another day now that you’re in my life. I wake up excited and looking forward to what we will do next. You are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the sexiest man a girl could ask for. •laughs again• And although today marks the start to the rest of our lives, I know that it will not be enough with you. A million lifetimes will never be enough, honestly. I vow to never take our time together for granted. And because there aren’t adequate words to truly describe my feelings for you, I also vow to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you, mi cielo.

Memphis:

As I love you, Cara Mia.. |straightens back up, only to wipe those stray tears away with the pads of my thumbs, wanting to kiss you now but refrains, looking to @OnePlusOnEqual5|

Keanu:

-Grins.- At this time, please retrieve your rings. - Memphis, take Lita’s hand and place the ring on her finger. Repeat after me.. With this ring I, Memphis, take you, Lita, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.

Memphis:

|smirks, taking @AFuerteRosa's hand and repeats it back word for word after receiving the ring box again from @MindYourPanties, slipping the ring on your finger.| With this ring I, Memphis, take you, Lita, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us. |twists the band once it's on @AFuerteRosa's finger, grinning wider at her.|

Keanu:

Good deal. -Nods before addressing @AFuerteRosa- Lita, take Memphis’ hand and repeat after me... With this ring I, Lita, take you, Memphis, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.

Lita:

•chews my bottom lip nervously as I watch you slide the ring on to my finger, hoping the excitement of the people around us doesn’t distract Gizmo from his task. And as soon as all the attention is on me, I glance over my shoulder at @MyArrowBends and @AContraryRise•

Madyx:

<Strutting up with the pillow strategically placed in my scissorhands, about to set it down when the world starts moving in slow motion, the pillow flying out of my hands and I try to catch, but that doesn't happen either! Exhaling my relief when it lands sort of where it's supposed to, to my great relief, right side up, even. Playing it off with a grin and bringing my hand back down, and...shit! Leash. Cleanly severed...

Atticus:

-Catching Lita’s look, I think in excitement how she’s changed her mind she does want us to fillet him to smithereens! I whip out my blade in preparation when everything goes to shit. Mad and his scissor hands is fumbling with the pillow, but makes the best save ever. PHEW! However, he has saved me from releasing Gizmo by slicing right through the leash and wouldn’t you know the pup does exactly what he’s supposed to do, running right over and stopping at the pillow with his front paws on top.-

Lita:

•my eyes widening when @AContraryRise stumbles, watching the pillow tumbling through the air in slow motion as my heart jumps into my throat and I gasp out• Dios mio... •begins to step forward in an effort to help catch the pillow then stops short when it lands perfectly at the same time Gizmo lunges forward, placing his paws on the pillow just as I taught him, and gives a bark. Beaming at both @AContraryRise and @MyArrowBends over how perfectly that worked out before carefully squatting down next to Gizmo and freeing the ring from the little tie, patting Gizmo’s head• Muy bien, amor. •stands back up, turning to @InTheHandsOFate, and taking his hand• With this ring I, Lita, take you, Memphis, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us. •slides it all the way on your finger then smiles up at you•

Memphis:

|noticing the detail in the ring when you slide it on, your words ringing true as my heart swelled in my chest, that permanent grin was plastered on my face and I knew it wasn't going away anytime soon.| Te amo, Cara Mia. Te amo..

Keanu:

Now, if you would please, Memphis and Lita, please join hands. Look at these hands for they are of your closest friend. They are strong and full of love. As you join hands today, you make the promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. -Nodding again, I look to you both- By special request of the bride. -turns to grab the two roses out of the vase and hands one to @InTheHandsOfFate and the other to @AFuerteRosa-

Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings. Which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other. You now have what remains the most honorable title, which may exist between a man and a woman - the title of "husband" and "wife." For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose. In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift - as husband and wife - that gift would be a single rose. Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife. -waits for @InTheHandsOFate and @AFuerteRosa to exchange roses before speaking again-

Memphis:

|Takes the rose you offered with a big grin, immediately using it to stroke @AFuerteRosa's cheek once with the soft petals before I present it to her, just like I did that first night. I had stroked her cheek with that one then too and the memory was forever etched in my mind.|

Lita:

•laughs softly when those soft petals tickle my cheek, that same flush blooming as it did that first night, and accepting the rose at the same time you take the one from me, that brush of your fingers against mine when you do sending that familiar jolt through my body•

Keanu:

Beautiful, just beautiful. -Grins, bringing it all home.- In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage. Memphis and Lita, where ever you make your home in the future - pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage - and a recommitment that this will be a marriage based upon love. In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult sometimes to find the words to say "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose then says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words. That rose says the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which can not be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today. Memphis and Lita, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure. @InTheHandsOFate, @AFuerteRosa, It is with great honor and by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss your bride.

Memphis:

|Taking hold of your hand, I pull @AFuerteRosa into my embrace and kiss her with everything within me, pouring all that love I had for her into it before dipping her back with a chuckle, presenting her now to our friends and family.| We did it, Cara Mia.

Lita:

•practically skips into your arms and meets your lips eagerly, laughing into the kiss when you dip me back, and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear with my free hand when you present me to our guest, smiling proudly• I’m finally Mrs. Stone!

Reception pictures:

[rndyounghowze]

Triple Threat Workshop Goes Down Home with Bright Star at the Landis Theatre in Vineland, NJ

By Ricky and Dana Young-Howze

Very rarely do I see a show that's as crisp as a summer apple and as cool as clear spring water but I got it last night with Bright Star at the Landis Theatre. This musical with music, book and story by banjo legend Steve Martin and Edie Brickell was directed by John T. Stephan and Caitlin Geisser and really is a must see.

Follow a country ballad based on heartbreak and woe as you hear the story of April Lindley, a magazine editor in the 40's who is serious and makes writers shake in their boots. But then one day a new writer comes across her desk and she just can't place why he intrigues her. What follows is her journey through the past to weave a story of love, loss, betrayal, and reunion. Bring your tissues because if you haven't had a good cry in a while you're about due for an appointment with this tear jerker.

So when the lights come up you see a bare stage with actors surrounding the stage adorned with a desolate set and props. You can even see the bare walls of the stage in the back. The desolate staging is just as desolate as the play. I don't know how to say it better but it looks like a dramatic grenade went off in the beginning and everyone on there is just human shrapnel.

Now they say too many cooks spoil the soup but direction by Caitlin Geisser and John T. Stephen seem to have a synergy going with this one. They also say that a director that casts themself in a play has just been cast by an idiot director but I actually enjoyed Geisser's performance. Stephan's choreography is always on pointe but I feel like the ambitious staging got in the way of the choreography with scenes getting too crowded to make the picture "print" in my head. Dana was begging for just one moment of emptiness on stage and I agree that a the loss of about six ensemble members in emotionally gripping scenes would not have been horrible.

We're only being tougher on them because we love them and they always give a polished and professional performance. They are always so close to perfect it kills me. All in all they crafted a show together that really...what's the word...soothed me. I've seen too many shows with big orchestras, huge special effects, and the works. This was like a glass of cool water.

Okay a few notes from this show that only a Southern boy from TN can give. Please imagine me saying this in my former southern accent. Thank you for not including a live orchestra. I'm a banjo snob and would have been critiquing clawhammer technique more than the show. The cast made a valiant attempt at a southern accent and while it did "drop" me into the setting of the show I would have forgiven them for dropping it sometimes in order to sing clearly. Also I've been all over North Carolina and never met a snazzier group of people or cleaner set. It needs more dirt and soot to make it authentic. Y'all wuz purtier den the purtiest peach that ever wuz grown.

Okay there were so many good actors in this show I had to add an extra to each of my categories!

April Lindley (played by Alice Murphy) had the hardest job. She had to carry the plot in two different time periods and be effectively two different people in each time period while still letting the audience know they were the same person.

It was hard to find anything to say about Jimmy Ray Dobbs (played by Andrew Jarema) because I've seen him many times before and he always delivers a solid performance. I was desperately trying not to say something like "he's good but that's Andrew for you" but we'll there I said it. A great performance from a great actor and he does look a little bit like Rich Curcio's son so now I'll never be able to get that out of my head.

Billy Cane (played by Dakota Mullins) seemed a bit stiff at first and I didn't know if it was opening night energy or a character choice. By the time he had gotten to the Southern Journal he had loosened up a bit and I could really get into his performance.

I have one thing to say about Margo Crawford (played by Alexa St. Clair) and that is more stage time please! She was so funny and clean in her performance. I couldn't ask for more from a Broadway Starlet!

Like I said I had three supporting standouts. There were just so many to choose from.

Darryl Ames (played by Dylan Glick) made me guffaw so much! I never saw a character more happy to be the bearer of bad news and Glick delivers it in style.

Dana had to actually point out that the dry speaking buttoned up assistant to the mayor was actually one of our favorites Jason Smith. I honestly couldn't recognize him and his acting was so good I still swear it wasn't him. Kudos Jason for blending in so well...if it was really you.

Shannon Sheridan who played Momma Murphy was really a favorite of Dana's. She had such a quick and smooth delivery and I could tell that she had some serious acting chops.

And of course here are my background shoutouts.

Whenever I'm watching a play in Cumberland County I kinda just look around and see what John Rattacasa is doing. He's kind of like a lucky charm in actor form. And then there's nothing like catching him belting in the moment. He really brings the noise!

A big shout-out to my favorite twins Amanda Ellis and Julianna Giordano! Glad to see them cutting a rug in style!

I have to give a nod to music direction by Shannon Sheridan for getting our cast to deliver one rip snorter of a time. Makes me wish I had my banjo or a set of spoons handy to scrub one off with them like we were on Grandpa's back porch.

Also costume design by Sheridan was right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I could have wished for a little dirt or fatiguing on stuff that was supposed to be dirty but that's just me being picky.

I swear that set design by Martin Geisser recreated the skeletal clapboard ruins you see all over the trainline from DC to Winston-Salem. I was a little worried when I saw the main rolling set piece wobble as it was moved. It may not look good sometimes but extra bracing for the safety of the actors can never be skimped on. Otherwise this was one of the greater sets I've seen.

There was a lot of intricate sound in this show so sound design by Stephen Seserko was really appreciated. The best sound design is the one you notice without noticing and I think he hovered really closely to that mark. Good job!

Well I'm kinda tired of saying that John Rattacasa is the best wig and makeup man in New Jersey. I'm tired of saying it but it doesn't look like he's going to stop anytime soon. So I still have to. If there's a set of Rattacasa locks on those heads they're the best in South Jersey.

All in all this little show was a delight to my old southern ears. And what I love about a Cumberland County show is that they keep everything just as down home as this play. When I get here there's always someone to hug me and Dana's neck and if they held an ice cream social out back after every show I wouldn't be surprised. When Dana and I are in Cumberland we feel like we're amongst family but that family is giving you a killer professional show that rivals Philly or the rest of Jersey. That's just the Cumberland way. This show runs twice more. Get on out there and meet your new family!