#((that's probably a part of why the series has such excellent flow; aside from excellent character design

[atomicsuperrobot]

You know, the concerning casual cultural acceptance of finding the main cast sexy aside, that interview had some interesting tidbits- namely in that Takahashi-sensei basically let the people running the show do basically whatever the fuck they wanted with it; hell, he even imported ideas created for the show back into his own original creation. I should’ve figured that he would have so lackadaisical an attitude regarding his creation, given how he himself basically wrote everything by the seat of his ass every time LMAO

[tofueggnoodles]

Extreme Bath Log Disk 2 – Track 3: Cafe Delusions

Click here to listen to the track on youtube.

Click here for translations of previous tracks.

Summary: This track consists mostly of Sanzo’s and Mishiba’s monologues. The former revolved around the cafe and Mishiba, while the latter contained speculations about Sanzo. Overcome with curiosity about the mark on Sanzo’s forehead, Mishiba tried to get a good look at it.

Sanzo (internal monologue): It’s quiet in here. (slurps his drink loudly) This cafe’s excellent. Especially around this time of the day, when there are hardly any other customer, it’s the perfect out-of-the-way spot. The coffee’s good for the price, the tableware doesn’t give the impression of being worn-out and the wet hand towel doesn’t smell unpleasant. It’s quite tough to maintain a sense of cleanliness in a restaurant that’s been in business for years. Although they’re imprudently not making use of tablecloth, the surface of the table doesn’t look dirty or feel sticky. I guess my sole complaint, if I have to have one, is the name of the cafe – Cafe Delusions. Doesn’t that sound rather like the name of a snack bar in a run-down part of the town?

(He lights a cigarette, takes a puff on it and blows out the smoke.)

Sanzo (continues his monologue): Putting aside the matter of the cafe’s name, I’m grateful that smoking is still allowed here these days. The cafe’s interior and upholstery are color-coordinated in orange and hues of brown – a design probably meant to camouflage the nicotine stains. (lets out a smile) I suspect the proprietor’s a smoker as well.

Sanzo (flips a page): At any rate, the special feature of this cafe is that waiter with his expressionless face. He never wastes a single breath on idle chatter. There’s no lapse in his poise and movements. Instead of drawing attention to himself, whenever he stands still in a corner of the cafe in that special way of his, he seems to fade into the background, like an inconspicuously placed houseplant. Just what kind of person in the world is he?

Mishiba (internal monologue): That old man comes here by himself around this time of the day from time to time. He always sits at the same table, the one alongside the wall, and reads a book as he smokes, spending his time alone in silence. He has his coffee with with two and half spoons of sugar – he seems to have quite a sweet tooth.

(Swishing sounds are heard. Mishiba is probably wiping a plate or a glass.)

Mishiba (continues his monologue): He always walks into the cafe stylishly dressed in his well-starched kimono and flat straw hat. Despite seeming to be in his sixtieth year or older, he looks like a military personnel or a monk [in his prime], thanks to his extremely excellent posture. Nothing seems to escape the penetrating gaze behind his reading glasses. And, above all else, there’s his most distinctive feature: his dazzlingly blond hair.

(A series of rattling sounds, followed by the sound of flowing liquid.)

Mishiba: He has somewhat strong facial features, but no matter how I look at him, he’s clearly of East Asian origin. Did he go out of his way to dye his hair such a gaudy shade? For what reason? In the first place, what kind of person in the world is he, I wonder? An enigmatic old man, who often shows up here during the early afternoon on weekdays. Is he perhaps a soldier who’s retired from active duty? Oh, I see. If that’s the case, that explains why he never sits at a table by the window but always chooses a position where he has his back to the wall instead.

Sanzo (flips the page of the book he is reading and resumes his monologue): Hmm, this seat alongside the wall is most suitable for reading. A table next to the window would be too bright with the glare from the sunlight and would expose me to the gazes of the passers-by coming and going through the shopping district. I wouldn’t be able to relax at such a table.

(A loud clash is heard.)

Mishiba (gasps): Oh no! How careless of me for getting distracted. I’ve knocked over the napkin holder with my elbow....

(There is another clash.)

Sanzo: Hmm? Without even looking, he’s caught the fallen napkin holder with the hand behind his back. That combination of agility, swiftness of action and flexibility is not something one acquires in a day or two. Just as I thought, he’s not a mere waiter.

Mishiba: To be honest, for a long time, there’s another thing I’ve been curious about when it comes to that old man sitting by the wall. The red protuberance on his forehead, slipping in and out of view behind his blond hair. At first, I thought it was a sort of blood blister, but it somehow seems different [from a blister]. I heard that, among mercenaries overseas, there those who go on living with splinters from explosions lodged in their skulls. Don’t tell me that....

Sanzo: Then, who on earth is that waiter really? At least, as far as I know, it seems that he’s always here at this cafe around this time of the day. In the first place, why is such a skillful person still stuck in a job at a cafe that does not appear to be having a decent clientele? Or, for that matter, anywhere in a shopping district like this one, which has seen better days? Could it be that he’s actually employed as a bodyguard for this cafe? If that’s the case, what sort of situation could the proprietor be facing to resort to such a measure?

Mishiba: Since my curiosity’s gotten the better of me, I’ll attempt to get a closer look at that old man. I’ll go to his table on the pretext of refilling his glass of cold water. (starts to approach Sanzo’s table)

Sanzo (gasps): Without making even a sound, he’s gotten this close before I became aware of it. What’s he carrying in his hand? I see – it’s a pitcher of cold water. But, if he truly intends to just bring me a refill of cold water, why the need to go to that extent to creep up on me?

Mishiba (amidst the sound of echoing footsteps): Distance to the target: approximately three meters. If the old man were the experienced ex-soldier I suspected him to be, he’d already be aware of the sense of urgency in my movement and have his guard up. I’ll try to appear as nonchalant as I can while I attempt to get close to him.

Sanzo: He’s already within the range of attack. I must avoid eye contact at all cost and do my utmost to play the part of an old man who’s engrossed in reading a book.

Mishiba (breathing heavily): I’ll refill his glass with the cold water.

Sanzo: He’s pouring the water from the pitcher. (sighs in relief amidst Mishiba’s retreating footsteps) Just now, for an instant, I felt something strange**. I guess it’s just my imagination.

Mishiba: I wasn’t able to get a good look at him. Against my better judgment, I faltered as I fervently wished that he’d raise his face. Perhaps I’ve incurred the old man’s suspicion. What have I done, disturbing him during his precious time for relaxation?

Sanzo: Hmm. It’s nothing worth worrying about. Whatever the real identity of that young man, this cafe agrees with me and vice-versa. I’m fine with that.

Mishiba: That’s right. I’m fine with this. Whatever that old man’s past might be, providing an environment in which customers such as he can enjoy a moment of tranquility is part of my job.

Sanzo (speaks out loud for the first time, to the proprietor): The bill, please. (gets up from his chair)

Mishiba (still thinking to himself): A deep, dignified voice. Perhaps a deportment like that old man’s is my ideal of how one should carry oneself. Oh.

Sanzo (speaks out loud again, this time addressing Mishima): I’ll be back.

Mishiba: Thank you very much for your patronage.

(Bells chime as the door is opened.)

Mishiba (as the door closes): Again, I failed to get a good look at that thing on his forehead.

--------

(Round brackets): actions and sound effects. [Square brackets]: translator’s notes or clarifications. Double asterisks **: Stuff I am not sure of. Suggestions for improvements and corrections are more than welcome.

[swellwriting]

A NEW ORDER - Part 1

- Knowledge meets Power -

Warnings: None.

A/N: Okay so hear me out, this chapter is a lot I know, and it’s necessary to set up the story in future parts!! I promise we will meet Mando soon I just had to get the story building out of the way. Also, I know there’s sexual tension between The Senator and Luke, trust me it serves a purpose (conflicts later on and such). I’m not just trying to sexualize everyone’s favourite Space Twink for no reason lmao.

Summary: Leia & crew visits Chandrila, The Senator meets Luke, books are read, plans are made, Jedi training takes place, young Ben Solo is cute, The Senator leaves Chandrila to start her mission to go to the bounty guild in the Outer Rim.

Word Count: 3.8k   Series Masterlist    Part 2

The New Republic is thriving, and you could not be more proud. Working with the Rebellion to help bring down the Empire, saying goodbye to the Old Republic, issuing the peace treaty with the Galactic Empire which was now in non existence (aside from the parts of the galaxy that remained out of reach of the New Republic where loyal Imperialists fled to hide) and demilitarizing according to the act that was issued following the treaty. 

It was work that made you feel good, confident, the kind of politics you flourished in, knowing that you were on the right side, there were no Palpatine’s rising to power, no Empire in the shadows, just plain politics working just the way they should.

It would probably make you sound insane if you were to tell anyone you were growing bored with it, well maybe there was one sole person who could understand.

“Leia!” You exclaimed as your long-time friend walked into the room. You were in Hanna City in Chandirlla, in the empty building that was sometimes the capital building for the Republic, sat in a large meeting room at a long empty table. Though you were sat alone almost every seat had books in front of it.

“I think you read a little too much,” Leia teased as she sat in the seat beside you and picked up one of the books you had taken from the Republic’s large library of books recovered from the Old Republic.

“I don't think there’s such a thing, with a galaxy so large there’s so much to learn and if we ignore the past history is bound to repeat itself.”

“And what’s your interest in the pasts of the Jedi?” She asks flipping open one of the books which contains the Jedi code.

“I think perhaps it’s an outdated religion, but I could see a resurgence if perhaps more force-sensitive people were to come forward and be willing to work together to create a new and improved Jedi Order, separated from the Republic this time.”

“So not politics related? You must be bored.”

“That’s an excellent way to put it, I feel as if I have achieved everything I aimed to with the New Republic, helping to build it into what it is today and seeing the Empire fall from power. I want to move onto other things.”

“You sound exactly like Luke, I really need to introduce you two,” she teases, knowing you have asked her countless times, then she turns to leave the room.

“You should, I’d love to meet him and see what he’s like. My strength with the force is minuscule but given what he’s accomplished, I’m sure he could teach me a few things.”

“I’ll tell him to come to meet you,” she says, her back still facing you as she leaves the room.

“Leia wait, when? Also, what are you even doing here? The New Republic’s capital was moved to Hosnian prime, you know that? There’s nothing here for you?”

“That’s not true, you’re here and you are the only person high up in the New Republic who will listen to me about the rising threat of the First Order, though small I still don’t trust them ever since they left their wing of the New Republic, they have been lurking in the shadows since, probably growing in the sess pool of the Outer Rim.” Spoken like a true princess.

“True yes, and I understand your concern but there’s nothing I can do besides sending your informative report to those above me, again.”

“And will you, again?” She asks and she has this sly smile, you know you can’t say no to.

“Of course, I’ll send them the report until their datapads crash and their trash compactors are filled.”

“See, that’s why I came to Chandrila! I did live here at one point too if you haven’t forgotten, Ben was born here, we like to visit.” She teases you further, knowing you meant no judgment in your question. You’re walking beside her, down the barren hallways of the fancy building. Hallways that were once bustling with people but the ever-rotating capital stays true to its promise, it is not solely on one planet, travelling from different places in the systems.

“So when do you think you can introduce me to your brother? I'm not all that busy right now, there are no elections coming up, I can travel whenever, wherever.”

“Can you walk outside?” She quips and leaves you standing there confused as she leaves the building, you follow her after a moment, doubling up your steps to catch up with her until the sunshine and the bright purple skies fill your eyes.

You follow her to the familiar-looking Millenium Falcon that’s parked in the Senate houses hangar bay, the ramp is down and you can see Chewy with a four-year-old Ben Solo on his shoulders trying to fix or adjust something on the Falcon.

Han is sat in the grass with Luke standing in front of him talking about something in-depth that looks like it’s boring Han because his head shoots up when he sees the two of you approach.

“Senator!” Han exclaims standing up and dusting himself off.

“Solo!” You say with a cheesy smile as he wraps you in a hug getting some of the dirt he failed to wipe off on your long yellow and white dress.

“I'm Solo too!” Ben yells from the top of Chewy’s shoulders.

“And how is my favourite Solo doing today.” You ask as you look up at Ben.

“I'm great!” He yells with a bright smile from you calling him your favourite.

“Luke, this is our good friend, the one I was talking to you about before we got here.”

“Hi, I’m Luke.” He says with a smile as he walks up to you, offering his hand to shake. You can instantly see the resemblance between him and Leia but Luke smiles different, perhaps a bit more cheery than Leia usually is.

“Hello.” 

“You’re the one Leia mentioned, you can uh, feel the force right?”

“Yes, but as I was telling her it doesn't mean much I don’t have a lot of control over it.” You try to undermine yourself, not wanting to make a big deal of it, something you kept secret for so long was now less taboo and it was hard to get used to even talking about it without it feeling wrong or strange.

“But you want to learn?” He asks and his voice is gentle, he seems kind and he gains your trust too soon.

“I’d like to yes, but I’m afraid I’m rather new to this whole thing, it was something I really kept to myself as I focused on politics and the New Republic.”

“But now her focus is on rebuilding a better and new Jedi Order.” Leia cuts in revealing your plans before you even properly had made them. You open your mouth but close it as no words manage to come out, trying to explain yourself.

“Well I'm new to this too, the teaching aspect, but I can try my best,” Luke assures you with a smile, he is quite sweet.

“Then you can teach me!” Ben yells as he runs to his uncle’s feet.

“Someday sure buddy.” Luke pats Ben’s hair as he looks up at his uncle with total admiration.

You bring Luke inside the Chandrila Senate House and into the meeting room where you have laid out all the books. The ceilings are tall and the walls are smooth stone as daylight pours in through the windows. He follows you in silence. You are too star-struck to talk to him and he finds you far too intimidating to say a thing. Outside when surrounded by his family he felt at ease, you were but a newcomer to him, a stranger asking him for guidance but in here you were like a princess in your palace, quickly maneuvering down the halls, your long dress flowing behind you, posture perfect and steps calculated as if the entire planet was watching you. 

He wondered if that was you unconsciously using the force or if you really just seemed to flow through space like that as if the wind existed just to move your dress as you walked.

“This is a lot of books,” he says as he enters the room behind you and picks a few to look at them, “I have been looking for some of these for a long time, do you think I can borrow them after you’ve read them, or had a droid upload them?”

“Oh,” You say flatly by accident.

“Oh?” He asks.

“I've already read them all actually, that one there I’m reading a second time, the Jedi code, for I think it’s important when building new rules to take a look at the old ones and see what needs changing, so you can take all of them if you’d like.”

“You are writing new rules?” He asks as he flips through the pages of the Jedi Code.

“Yes, I tend to approach things such as this by learning as much as I can, I wrote everything important into my notebook, I can have a droid input it onto a datapad for you if you’d like a copy of that as well?”

“Sure, has Leia mentioned my plans to you?” He asks, confused why you seem to be organizing so many things together to help create a new system and new rules and teachings for a new age of Jedi all on your own.

“No, I just became bored with the New Republic, so this was like a side project I took on, it was meant to be a much smaller thing but I couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s brilliant, I mean, you put a lot of work into something that I’ve been thinking about doing for years. I want to create a new order of Jedi like there was before like my father was in but better.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking! For what I lack in skill I make up for in knowledge if you need any help I’d be happy to lend a hand in any way I can.”

“Well I can teach you the ways of the force, strengthen your control over it, help you find a lightsabre of your own, and you can share some of that knowledge with me?”

“Perfect!” You exclaim as you take the book from his hands and put it down beside your notebook, taking a seat and offering him the seat beside you. He sits and moves close to you to see what your reading as your fingers trace up the page and over your delicately inked words. It was rare for someone to still use ink and paper when datapads were much more easily available and common.

“So here are a few rules I think need changing, to be more modern. I for one think The Jedi Order should be it’s own sperate entity from the New Republic while also working with them given they are the government in the galaxy, but separate to avoid and repetition... of last time.”

You explain and he nods as you flip the pages to a list of rules that you marked as outdated.

“What’s this rule you rewrote?” He asks and your face heats up as you know exactly which rule it is.

“Oh, yes that one. Well Jedi’s were all strictly ordered under celibacy in the past, and though I agree that not forming attachments is very important to the way of the Jedi I do think Celibacy is unimportant in that factor, as long as there are no attachments involved….” you prolong the last words as you look up from the paper to find he’s already looking at you. His cheeks are flushed pink and his eyes are a bit wide as he nods his head slowly.

“Yeah, I think… I agree with you. Yes,” he manages to get the words out and you can’t help but feel your face heat up at the whole conversation topic.

“Okay, good.” You agree as Luke stands up abruptly. 

“So tomorrow, I’ll meet you back here and we can start your training?”

“Okay, I’ll be here right in the morning after breakfast.”

“Good, um wear something a little less-” Luke tries to explain but can’t find the words as he looks you up and down, your lightly coloured dress that shows your collar bones and shoulders, it puddles at your feet and is tight on your waist, taking over his thoughts

“Less?” You ask, unsure what he means and he quickly stutters to correct himself.

“No, not less. I meant um, wear something less regal, more um, something fit for agility if you have anything… like that”

“Oh, of course,” You say as you both stand in the room awkwardly facing each other, faces hopelessly red, you can feel the nerves flowing between you through the force, neither of you addresses this as he quickly nods and then rushes out of the room.

You stand there for a moment, chest heaving as you catch your breath and calm yourself, thinking over and analyzing each word of the conversation and the dynamic which turned so awkward once you both were alone.

“I can feel the sexual energy in the room, so either you’re going to sleep with my brother or you enjoy reading these books a little too much,” Leia says as she enters the room loudly.

“No, kriff no, Leia I just, we were just. I'm not sexually attracted to books.” You blurt out.

“But you are to my brother.”

“What! No, I ...we were talking about rules and such.”

“That sounds like foreplay when it comes to you.”

“Leia!” You shout covering your face with your hands.

“Relax, I don’t mind, he needs a woman in his life.”

“I'm not trying to sleep with your brother or do anything besides help him bring a new Jedi Order in place and learn the ways of the force from him, nothing more.”

“Personally I think you need a little something more but if you’re fine being married to a library of books I won’t judge, regardless Ben is adamant that you need to have dinner with us, so could you part with your books long enough to eat something?” She asks and you nod, fanning your face briefly as you follow her out the door and to the nice house just outside the capital that they lived in when Ben was first born.

-

Being the Senator of Chandrila meant you never really left, it was convenient when the New Republic was based here but now you just travelled to Hosnian prime whenever they called you to a meeting or connected through holo tech.

You much preferred the quietness that lingered when the Capital of the city was so empty, your council and the few droids that kept the Senate House looking so pristine were the only people still here, aside from the residents.

In the following days, you trained with Luke and discussed the future of the Jedi. Before you knew it he was giving you a lightsabre of your own that used to belong to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han said he got it from a friend who bought it off a scrapper after the Death Star was destroyed. You had read about Obi-Wan Kenobi and you were glad to have such a respected Jedi Master’s lightsabre, one that was almost lost forever.

It was the last night before your friends were going to leave Chandrila, you were confident in your skills and Luke had a good understanding of the route you two were going to take with this.

“So whats next?” You ask as you sit in the meeting room with Luke once again.

“There’s still a lot of planning to be done, we need to decide on a planet to home the school, a safe location.”

“Any places in mind?”

“Well, I have to do some travelling to find a place, there are also more books and things that I need to track down. But we mostly need students and that’s where I thought you could come in.”

“You want me to find the students?”

“For most of your life you were hiding the fact that you could feel the force, I think you know what it’s like and you are best suited for recruiting, plus your political side makes you hard to argue with. A lot of these people will be children, very young.” He pauses as he senses your nervousness at such a grand task, doubting yourself and your abilities. “I sense so much light within you, so much hope and kindness that I believe you are best to tackle this. If you want to that is.”

“No of course I do! I’d gladly take that job! I’ll take a break from my political duties with the New Republic and with the help of my pilot droid I’ll track down the future students!”

“I have a feeling, though I hope it’s not true, Han had suggested it and ever since I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“What is it?” You ask as you grab his arm, his tone turning more serious.

“You are a competent fighter and stronger with the force than I thought you would be. If I didn’t have faith that you could do this I wouldn't let you but I think the best way to track these children down is to follow rumours, the problem is that the remnants of the empire will also be following these rumours, tracking down these children, putting bounties on them. So you should go to the bounty guild, the one in the Outer Rim and see how many you can get information on. You may run into a bounty hunter or a few while tracking down these kids so be careful. Then when you find them bring them back here in secrecy, this is your planet I’m sure you can keep them safe here until I establish a place for the school.”

“Okay, I’ll follow any intel I can get and I’ll contact you on the holo transmitter I gave you.” You confirm, pointing the holo transmitter you gave him in his hands.

“Great, I’ll keep you updated too and once I find a planet suitable I’ll join you?”

“Okay,” you say and then smile at him, it felt good, this plan felt good. You had a surge of confidence fill your bones, he believed in you and that meant so much.

“So does this make me a Jedi now?” You tease as he gets up and goes to leave the room.

“I grant you the rank of Jedi Knight,” he jokes, though he is being serious the words feel funny on his tongue, being a teacher and a Jedi Master will be weird.

“Jedi Knight, Senator of Chandrila, member of the New Republic, I like all these fancy titles I have.”

“Well, they suit you,” he compliments as he looks over your appearance again, you still have on a fancy dress, it’s light blue and purple which resembles the sunsets on Chandrila, your light sabre is strapped to your thigh under your dress perfectly concealed if not for the high slit in your dress which makes it visible. His eyes trail up your long legs, admiring you before meeting your eyes and then nervously looking away before forcing out a cough. “I better go.”

“Talk to you soon,” you say as you had already said goodbye to your friends earlier. You watch as he walks away, haste in his step as he boards the falcon, picking up Ben who was stood on the ramp waving to you ecstatically. The Falcon doesn't fly away for a few minutes until it reopens again and Luke walks out, his droids close behind him.

You walk down the steps meeting him halfway, Luke runs up to you almost bumping into you.

“Take my droids with you, R2 can help with flying and computers and Threepio can help you with translating and keeping you company.”

“I am fluent in over six million forms of communications!” The tall golden robot says matter of factly.

“I will take good care of them,” you say with a wide smile before closing the space and wrapping your arms around Luke, encasing him in a grateful hug, “thank you.”

“It’s no problem, I wish I could give you more.” He says casually, you notice the holo transmitter is strapped to his belt, keeping it close to him. You were glad to be building this new Jedi Order with Luke, you couldn’t imagine trying to work with anyone else, he was a great teacher, a gentle soul, a bit foolish but strong with the force. 

It gave you hope, this mission should be a breeze! You watched the Falcon fly off and then went to your room to pack up some things and load your ship. You had a Star Yacht, which technically was one of the Chandrila Star Ships but you had total clearance to take yours used for travelling from Chandrila to Hosnian Prime anywhere in the galaxy as you saw fit, no one was going to question your flight plans anyways.

You had a pilot droid which was modelled after the one of a kind droid L3-37 which belonged to Lando Calrissian and got a bit of fame from freeing the slaves on Kessel. When you found the model which only resembled the original droid you had to have it, though none of the personality was shared you were still glad to have a one of kind pilot droid with a personality of her own. You considered hooking her up to the falcon to take what bits of L3 that were integrated when the original droid died, but decided L3 was better off as part of the Falcon, resurrecting droids wasn’t your strong suit anyway. Your droid, L8-39 was a calm droid, precise in her piloting and hated her nickname L8 because she was in fact, never late.

Your ship was just meant to be a travelling ship, a yacht in every sense of the word. There was a bedroom compartment not much less than your actual room in the Senate House, it had a small kitchenette, storage, lots of guest space, a lounge room and was built for comfort and elegance with its shiny chrome exterior.

Though it had a strong shield there were little to no offensive procedures in place, you packed your blaster, your lightsabre and some other handy things that remained after the demilitarization act and decided with your fancy ship, L8, Threepio and R2 you were more than capable.

- Part 2

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[true-neutral-earth-elf]

Primal Arcanum: Analysis and Speculation pt. 1

*Spoiler Warning: This post contains information pertaining to “The Dragon Prince” season 2. If you have yet to watch s.2 and don’t want the final episode to be spoiled, then please hold off on reading any further. You have been warned.*

Fans were introduced to the arcanum at the beginning of season 2 by Lujanne as she explained what exactly it was that enabled creatures to connect to the primal sources. To put it simply, the arcanum is the understanding of the the primal source’s form, function, and essence and how it connects to our body, mind, and spirit. This connection is something felt and is not easily put into words, however both Lujanne, Callum, and Rayla give it their best shot and (excluding Rayla) did a pretty decent job of it! I’d like to begin with the primal arcanum we know enough about then compare them to the Primal descriptions given by the dragon prince main website, that way we might be able to guess at the other four primal arcanum.

The Sky Arcanum:

“It’s not one simple thing, it’s all the things. They just had to...come together, you know? It’s like, I used to hold the sky in my hand, right? But now that’s gone. But, Rayla, the whole world is like a giant primal stone, and we’re inside it. I’m inside sky magic, but it’s also in me, with every breath I take.” - Callum

"I am the wing!" - also Callum

According to Callum’s description, sky magic exists within the air, the very air we breathe, and is ,therefore , in everything. This corresponds with the primal description’s beginning statement, “Sky magic draws on the vast sky.” Where does the sky end and begin? On earth, it ends at the ocean and solid ground, which is the lower atmosphere (the air we breathe). That part is simple enough, but there’s another meaning to breathing when dream Sarai is speaking with Callum. She urges him to slow down, stop focusing on the mess in his head, and breathe, to let his body and spirit catch up to his head, and breathe. She’s telling him to calm down. His anxiety about not being able figure out the Sky arcanum, was what kept him from learning the Sky arcanum! (Ain’t that a doozy?) When Callum declares, “I am the wing,” he’s saying that the wind is carrying him, like it does with birds and sails; in other words, he’s going-with-the-flow! In “Avatar: Legend of Korra” (in the only episode I actually paid attention to) they had a test at the air temple, the goal was to navigate a series of rapidly rotating panels and make it to the other side without touching them, this was achieved by allowing the air currents to direct your body around the panels; an excellent visual representation of this very process! Now, going with the flow does not necessarily mean being directionless. That’s why creatures of the Sky primal must be quick and clever enough to predict the flow, to work with it not against it! To sum it up: the Sky arcanum is (a. understanding that sky magic is in and around us (b. understand that you need to take a step back and feel where the sky magic is directing you (c. work with sky magic, don’t suppress or fight against it, flow with it!

I hope that made sense, cause we're moving on!

The Moon Arcanum:

“The arcanum of the moon is about understanding the relationship between appearances and reality. Most people believe that reality is the truth and appearances are deceiving. But those of us who know the moon arcanum understand we can only truly know the appearance itself. You can never touch this so-called reality that lies just beyond the reach of your own perception.” - Lujanne

Dear god, this some Rene Descartes level sh*t....that’s exactly why I’m going to use him to explain what Lujanne is saying; get ready for a quick philosophy lesson!

So Descartes was a French philosopher who had this policy of never accepting anything as truth unless there was absolutely no way it could be false, this led him to question his own existence. He began asking things like, “How do I know what I’m experiencing is real?” or “Do I even exist?” (He was having the mother-of-all existential crisis). Desperate for answers, Descartes decided to examine himself as though he were a jigsaw puzzle. Taking apart everything he had originally thought to be true of himself and set them aside. He began looking for the single thing that would prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was real (like when you look for the corner pieces to get the puzzle’s outline). That’s when he realized that the ability to doubt his existence, to question his very being, was proof in itself of his existence. Cogito, ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. That was Descartes’s conclusion. From there he began inspecting the other pieces of his puzzle and finally put “himself” back together.

How does this apply to the moon arcanum? Lujanne explained that most people believe that appearances are deceiving while reality is truth. But how can one determine the truth of reality when it is only the appearance that can be seen? To further clarify; appearance in this case refers to something that is perceived by an entity. So we, being separate entities, view things from our individual perspectives; hence, when we perceive something we are viewing its appearance. Reality is often considered separate from its appearance, but is it really? Or is it, perhaps, the collective appearance (all perspectives in one)? Remember, we are constantly perceiving ourselves from a standpoint others could never dream to, which means how we view our appearance may be different than how others do. Does that make our self image false? No. It’s simply a piece of our reality. Descartes feared that his appearance was not reflecting his reality (whither or not he existed), he discovered that there was, indeed, truth behind his appearance, and eventually rediscovered his appearance - his piece of reality. Therefore, appearance is not a lie, but a separate truth; reality is not necessarily truth, but the sum of all appearances.

So those who know the moon arcanum are aware that reality is not independent of its appearance and appearances are not necessarily lies. This is how moon mages are able to use illusions and can connect with spirits; illusions rely on the caster to consider the appearance of their subject, meanwhile spirits live on a separate plane of existence and cannot appear in the same manner as items of this plane.

When you consider the nature of the moon the arcanum makes a little more sense. The moon appears to glow at night, yet it doesn’t. It’s just reflecting the light of the sun. Then, as it wanes, it appears as though parts of the moon are gone until we can’t see it at all! Guess this is why the writers chose this arcanum for it. Since I’ve already taken enough time to explain the moon arcanum I’ll just list the basic points going along the lines of its form, function, and essence: moon magic is (a. understanding that it comes from the moon and will have low and high points depending on the moon phase (b. provides an alternative view of the world and its reality (c. understanding that reality is not independent of appearances, and appearances are not lies but alternative truths (alternative truths do not equal lies, politicians simply enjoy perverting the English language)

From this point on is all speculation based on the previous arcanum patterns; 100% theory time!

According to the Primal description, earth magic comes from two domains: the geological components of the world, and the life that inhabits it ( flora and fauna). I believe this means that there are actually two arcanum for earth magic (7 arcanum in all). Because the source of the magic is different, then we can only assume that the arcanum which draws it out is different too! This could be wrong, but I’ll separate them anyways.

Life (flora, fauna) Arcanum:

Based on the description, life-earth magic of this sort comes from the life that surrounds us: plants, animals, even elves and humans! The potential application of this magic is wide open for speculation, a few possibilities are: floral manipulation (which would be an awesome way to make tree buildings or plant furniture, maybe even weapons), telepathic communication with animals (or just being able to understand animal languages), being able to sense the life force in creatures while meditating (like what Eragon learned to do from Oromis in book 2 of the Inheritance Cycle (god, I’m a nerd)), and healing (instead of it being quick panacea spells, I’d like to think of it’s a strenuous process of understanding the cell structures and their function in the body, then having to focus on certain cells to reproduce rapidly thereby speeding up the healing process; also like in the Inheritance cycle). These are all incredible abilities that have the potential for being applied in so many horrific ways; what’s keeping elf mages from asking animals to maul their enemies? Or inflicting their own plague on man kind? This is where the meaning of the arcanum comes in! I believe that the arcanum of life-earth magic is the understanding that all life has a significant role to play in the world. There’s no such thing as a “major” or “minor” role for all are necessary in maintaining the equilibrium (balance) of the world. Creatures of the Earth primal respect this relationship, and probably view other creatures as equals, if not kin. Death will also, probably be an important factor in understanding the arcanum. Consider the circle of life (I’m going Rafiki on y’all, sorry); when we die our bodies go to the earth, the plants and bacteria feed off of the nutrients our corpses provide, then an herbivore feeds on the plants, later on a carnivore will eat the herbivore and feed their young, later on the carnivore will either die naturally or be eaten by another creature; and so it goes on! Death is a necessary antagonist for life, and earth mages must recognize that. To put this in terms of form, function, and essence: (a. life-earth magic dwells within the life force of all living things, (b. life-earth magic sustains the equilibrium of the world through the continued growth of its inhabitants, (c. life-earth magic requires an understanding that all life plays a role in the world and that death (natural death, this does not condone murder or negligence) is necessary to the continuation of life.

Geological Arcanum:

Referring back to the Primal description, geological-earth magic comes from within the minerals, stones, and crystals of the earth. Theses materials have been around since the dawn of humanity, they’re often viewed as indestructible and even eternal elements. However, this is not quite true. As any child who paid attention to the geology portion of their science class will tell you, the components which make up the earth are always undergoing some sort of change! Some changes are slow and require a mixture of different temperatures and pressure (think diamonds & oil). Others are quick, unpredictable, and destructive (volcanic eruptions & earth quakes). Yet the earth remains to be the most reliable source we know of. Earth is ever changing, but also consistent. It’s this dual nature that I believe is the key to learning the geological-earth arcanum. The application of this magic is difficult to speculate on; it has the potential to be like earth bending in AtLA, but at the same time stones and minerals have been believed to provide remedies for particular ailments, it could have certain healing spells. Crystals are often associated with spiritual energy, maybe the magic works with that? This is what I’m assuming for the geological-earth arcanum: (a. geological-earth magic dwells within the earth’s crust and its components, (b. it provides stability, consistency, but also change, (c. one must understand the dual nature of the earth: it is always changing, yet remains the same.

This is where I'll end part one for now. Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, or critiques on the arcanum!

Thank you for reading!

[slothcritic]

Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 10 Review

A satisfying conclusion with plenty of jabs, jibs and a ghost whatnow?

While The Punchline has been split up into three parts, I will be reviewing and judging all three parts as a single episode within a single review. I will be giving out scores for each part just for posterity however, but only the overall score will be considered this episode’s actual rating.

In the cold open, Vegeta is absolutely thrilled over snapping Nappa out of existence, and Goku asks Krillin and Gohan to retreat while he deals with Vegeta. Krillin is already gone, screaming and crying. Gohan and Goku have a brief conversation about putting dinner on, because he's hungry. There might be some reference I'm not getting here, or if it's really just a face-value scene, but I think it would've been funnier if the title sequence had begun just after Krillin is shown running (flying) away to safety.

[Title Sequence, Part 1]

Goku and Vegeta opt to find a new battlefield, as the one where Nappa decimated the Z Fighters is a little "corpsey." King Kai starts taking bets on which of them is going to win, and even the Narrator tries to get in on that, despite already knowing the outcome.

The delivery on Vegeta's lines early on is not promising. I'm not sure if it's poor audio quality caused by a crappy microphone or if Lanipator was struggling with some kind of throat infection while recording these lines, but it's noticeable as there's a long extended conversation with a voice that sounds like sandpaper to the ears. I actually went back to check on the previous episodes to see if I was taking crazy pills, and no, Vegeta sounded just fine before. I have no idea what the reason or cause of this change might be, whether it was a deliberately different delivery or if they were rushing to put this episode out, but Vegeta sounds consistently more raspy in this episode than the gravelly deadpan to which I've become accustomed. For all I know, yelling as Vegeta might just by taxing on his vocal chords.

Putting the voice issue aside, Goku's oblivious lack of understanding for the word "elite" and the back and forth between the two of them works on the whole as a great scene.

"I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop."

I can't remember whether or not that's a reference, but I love the delivery on it. Vegeta has just finished dealing with Nappa and now has absolutely zero patience for someone just as braindead.

Sure enough, after being taunted about a cave full of gumdrops and ice cream, Vegeta drops the "That's it! EVERYONE DIES!" which might be one of my favorite things said in this episode, but it’s followed closely by:

"Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot." "Well that's not very nice." "OF COURSE NOT! I'M FUCKING EVIL!"

The dynamic here works astoundingly well. It's very different from Vegeta and Nappa's duo, but works on similar foundations. With Vegeta and Nappa, Nappa was the ridiculous one and Vegeta served as his anchor. With Vegeta and Goku, the roles are flipped and Vegeta is now the ridiculous one, screaming his head off in frustration and writhing around in the death throes of his pride, while Goku's complete obliviousness and innocence keeping him grounded as the anchor. Nappa was purposefully annoying because he was a bratty, childish mook, while Goku is just annoying by happenstance and being very, very hard to put down. It doesn't help that Vegeta actually wants to kill Goku, and unlike Nappa, he's having less than success with this one.

The overall production of the climatic beam struggle is surprisingly well executed, and is perhaps the best moment in this entire episode from a technical perspective. Goku speaking as he charges up the Kamehameha doesn't sound cheesy, canned or forced, and neither does Vegeta's delivery. The sound effects and music are also on point here. This is an important moment in the series and I'm glad they got it just right. I have no objections with anything here.

If anything, at about five and a half minutes in, the viewer has had enough time to adjust to Vegeta's new raspier voice and it no longer seems out of place. If he had been speaking "normally" up until this point, I probably would have criticized the delivery on these lines, but it almost feels like it fits on the whole now that this has been established as the "new normal" for the last five minutes. The main point I'm attempting and probably failing at making is that my original complaint was that the new voice took me out of the episode, but in this moment with the beam struggle, Vegeta's voice flows naturally and I honestly wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't just (as of now) dedicated two whole paragraphs of this review to JUST talking about how Vegeta sounds slightly different now.

Alright, now it's time to back up a tad, which isn't something I like to do a lot. Twice in this episode, Goku has used the Kaio-Ken and then the Kaio-Ken times three. The first time he used it, he seemed to at least match Vegeta. The second time he used it, he jobbed Vegeta straight into a rocky wall. But it's only good for a few seconds, so it has no sustain. It's essentially one really strong punch or a really quick beat down, but leaves Goku winded and struggling at the end of it.

The reason I didn't bring these up as they happened was because frankly the scenes didn't do enough for me to write about it. I write about what I feel is significant to my review to give context or explanation to my thought process, not to give a play by play. Simply put, they were funny, but nothing notable happened because of it. It was a quick skit, okay, move on. But it's now important to draw attention to those two moments, because while they did very little for me the first two times... Well, during this beam struggle, just as Vegeta feels like he’s gaining the upper hand, the dramatic music quiets to nothing but the sounds of the beams clashing, and all we hear is...

"Kaio-Ken..." Vegeta look on in horror.  "...No..." "Times..." "No no no..." "FOUR!"

Vegeta is sent skyward with a loud FFFFUUUUUU- and then twinkles like Team Rocket just blasted off again. Goku is the victor... of this fight at least.

Then there's an odd cutaway back to Roshi's island that's slow to start, but eventually got me to smile. It's all the characters from Dragon Ball reminiscing of times where they used to be relevant to the story. Guest appearance by Baba who almost doesn't appear in Z at all!

It initially felt like a bit of tone whiplash but it warmed up to me. And "Whatever happened to Launch?" actually got a laugh out of me. Seems like Toriyama isn't the only person who forgot about her.

I'm not sure what the point of this scene was, but I agree with the decision that after that climax, a break or calming down period in the tension it had built up was definitely necessary, even if the transition felt a little jarring at first.

"Meanwhile, back at the plot", which is an amazing segue, Vegeta gets off Mr Goku's Wild Ride and the beam continues on without him into the pink sky.

I don't think -UUUUUUCK! counts as an F-Bomb so it doesn't get censored. Booyah!

Vegeta then undergoes a post ass-kicking identity crisis. After devising a plan to turn into the mighty Ozaru, he then undergoes a where's-the-damned-moon crisis.

Good thing Blutz Waves are a thing. He yeets the artificial moon into the sky and boom, King Kong. The other King K attempts to coach Goku through dealing with this beast (that is canonically stronger than Captain Ginyu at this point) and advises Goku to find a safe, secluded location to charge up the Spirit Bomb.

Goku however decides to do it right out in the open. Just as Ape Vegeta's massive fist obliterates Goku, King Kai's crystal ball turns to static and gets the operator disconnected message. I think a dial tone would've been slightly funnier, but this has the same energy so I'll take it with no complaints. An excellent way to end the first part of this episode!

[Part 2]

This part begins with Goku hitting a rock so hard he thinks he's in Dragonball Evolution for a moment. After blinding Vegeta with a solar flare, which I'm still not entirely sure how that works or why people don't use it more often to get cheap surprise shots on blinded targets, Goku finds a quiet spot that he can use to charge the Spirit Bomb. He ends up borrowing so much energy from the planet that he may or may not have drained all the life from an old father deer. Dark, but morbidly hilarious.

Goku tries to fling the Spirit Bomb at Vegeta, but surprise: He's got a mouth laser! Knocks the Spirit Bomb right out of him and sends him tumbling against a rock.

"Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?" "Huh?" "Christopher Reeves!"

CRUNCH! The giant monkey stomps down right on Goku's legs, crushing and immobilizing him.

This is such a bad, good joke. I still think about this one from time to time. And honestly, considering how I started binge-watching these in high school (where I more or less developed into an entirely different person), this joke here might very well be the genesis of my love for black humor. I'm fully willing to admit I'm biased on this, but I think this is one of the funniest dark jokes in DBZA, full stop. If not the whole series, then at least within Season 1. Don't care, evil.

Just as he's about to be crushed for good, Goku shoots a quick energy blast into Vegeta's eye, causing him to stagger backwards. This is where Goku makes his cunning escape, dodging, weaving and doing aerial acrobatics around the massive monkey man, accompanied by victorious fanfare. Or not. Goku's legs are still broken. But it's nice to just imagine how cool that would’ve looked, y’know?

Vegeta then decides he's just going to squeeze the life out of Goku, and his screams can be heard well into the distance, all the way to Krillin and Gohan.

The giant monkey keeps squeezing Goku until he squeaks like a rubber ducky, or a chew toy. He does it again, and another squeak.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious."

In the middle of squeaking Goku relentlessly, Gohan decides to make a stand, having blown back to fight Ape Vegeta. He gives a verbose speech that culminates in "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." and then strikes a fighting pose like his five year old ass is going to do anything against a fifty foot behemoth. Battle gong and everything playing in the background.

Vegeta just stares at Gohan, and then after a pause, squeaks Goku again. This has delightfully petty energy to it, especially coming from Vegeta.

While Gohan has caught Vegeta monologuing, Krillin attempts a sneak attack on Vegeta, but he effortlessly humiliates him and thwarts his efforts by simply hopping over the Kienzan that was coming from behind.

However, he couldn't anticipate two sneak attacks. That or Yajirobe was simply that unlikely of a hero, but here he comes sword and all to save literally everyone's lives as he slices Vegeta's tail clean off his rump.

With no more tail, Vegeta regresses to his original Saiyan form. He's no less dangerous, however, and just as Krillin tries to bring the hype, he gets immediately pinballed into the nearest rocky structure and the owned count strikes 9.

The writing on Vegeta's speech following this is actually quite good. "I thought I'd be angrier" is not a take I expected from someone who's had such major meltdowns and cataclysmic conniptions thus far. It does a good job of illustrating how far down the rabbit hole we've gone, to the point where he has become so angry that he's encountered a stack overflow.

Goku and Gohan have a touching moment, both broken, beaten and bloody, but as they share a heart to heart, and their hands extend towards one another's like a Michelangelo painting, Vegeta comes in like a good fiend and gives Goku a killer knee-shot to the ribs. You have to wait for the right moment!

They immediately cut away to an intermission, which they never do in any other episode, but honestly it fits here. The alternative would be to end the episode here and we've still got another three minutes and some change to go. It's an arbitrary production joke but it's necessary and well done for the scene as a whole so it gets a pass and then some from me.

When we resume, Vegeta and Gohan duke it out, which provides a convenient distraction for Goku to hand off part of the Spirit Bomb to Krillin. It turns out he'd been saving some of the earth juices from when he got the snot knocked out of him earlier, but only a little bit of it. Krillin is confused as to why Goku would trust him of all people with it, and Goku concedes that his back is kind of against the wall on this one.

With a yipee-kay-yay and a booyah motherfucker, Krillin lobs the Spirit Bomb Lite at Vegeta, who simply jumps Krillin’s attack for the second time. Maybe aim a little higher next time, or better yet don’t loudly announce your attacks. Not that anyone in this series would understand that concept anyways.

Now the Spirit Bomb is heading straight for Gohan. But it's okay because Gohan is a main character, so he just Uno Reverse Card’s the Spirit Bomb off his hands and it sproings upwards towards Vegeta once more.

Side note, I don't think it's ever explained, either in the abridged or the original series, how Goku is able to communicate telepathically with Gohan. Yes, Master Roshi says in Dragon Ball that "any highly skilled martial artist can read minds" but does that just mean reading minds or actually communicating between them? And if that's the case, why doesn't Goku use this more often? I could probably find at least one plot point that could've been avoided by this, but the answer is probably extremely simple. Goku is a moron. It's very easy to explain away forgetfulness or inconsistent writing when you can just default to saying that your main character is an idiot who forgot he could do those techniques that you forgot existed as a writer. Don't think about it too much I guess.

"What smells like deer?"

I’ve actually missed this joke every single time I've watched this episode so far, except for just now, when I watched it to write this review. The old father deer from before! That is such a cool and unexpected callback.

Anyways, Vegeta gets punked by the Diet Spirit Bomb and goes sailing into the sky. The Z Fighters - which is now just Goku, Gohan and Krillin - are ecstatic in celebration.

"It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again."

Cue Vegeta's lifeless body ragdolling to the ground with a meaty thwap. Krillin tempts fate by approaching the body, and that goes as expected. Vegeta opens one eye and screams. Then the others all start screaming.

Very weird production mis-step or weird decision with the source footage here. Vegeta's face at least moves, but because all the others have panning shots, they freeze in weird, awkward positions. The action lines don't move, some characters aren't fully in frame, and it's very obviously a still image instead of  something like a loop. Maybe this is just what they had to work with. Still, very immersion breaking. Though honestly, I'm almost glad that if something like this had to happen in this part, it was at least in the last ten seconds.

Goku is confused because he can't move. I mean, they won right? Why is everyone screaming.

[Part 3]

This part begins immediately with Krillin getting bitch slapped, earning a 10/10 on the owned counter. Vegeta then decides he has had exactly enough of everyone and everything, and goes for the nuclear option.

Fortunately for our heroes, Vegeta has been so worn down, battered, sent through the ringer, and has suffered so much damage to that one eye in particular, that he doesn't have enough energy left to kill everyone all at once. Instead, he opts to get his hands dirty and cut them each of them down one at a time. Speaking of cut, here comes Yajirobe with his sword. It can pierce through Vegeta's armor, which is wonderful news but ultimately pointless. However, it serves as an excellent distraction.

Remember that fake moon? Remember how Vegeta only returned to normal form because his tail was amputated? Remember earlier how Piccolo had to destroy the Earth's actual moon because Gohan was a rampaging Donkey Kong lunatic? Well guess who just woke up staring right at that fake moon in the sky.

Lacking any barrels in the vicinity, Ape Gohan decides to throw around some rocks.

Goku, again, reaches to him telepathically and reminds him not to go on a rampage killing everyone.

"Remember Icarus? He did it."

Now, purely within this episode, this isn’t an issue. It’s a funny haha moment. However, this scene gets a little more irritating or perplexing once you’ve seen some of the DBZA movies. This knowledge did hamper my enjoyment of this scene on rewatch. However, that ultimately isn’t fair to this episode as a stand alone product, and my gut instinct of “My knowledge of episodes that came out well after this one retroactively makes this episode worse!” is also something I try tooth and nail to avoid. So I’m going to talk about this for a bit and get it out of my system so I can approach it fairly.

Simply put, Icarus is a headache. He's Gohan's friend and pet dragon of sorts, for like three random movies, some episodes of Z and then never gets mentioned again. Goku implies that Vegeta is responsible for Icarus' death, despite the fact that Icarus is still alive at some point after Goku defeats Freeza. I would normally take up the stance of “okay, let’s ignore the official canon / non-canon and just stick to DBZA” but he ALSO features in the DBZA movie Cooler’s Revenge, so this is multiple layers of crazy. 

I understand that DBZA exists primarily as a form of parody and thus prioritizes humor and “working with what you’ve got” over some things a harsh anal-retentive person might deflagrate them for (cough cough) and are not afraid to contradict themselves on points of little significance for the sake of humor. I also don’t think they had any long-standing plans to incorporate Icarus into Z at the time this episode was made - They may have simply wanted to make a joke about the DBZ equivalent of Poochie the Dog from Itchy & Scratchy.

Like I said, Icarus is headache. However, simply in this moment and nothing else, I do feel it works. It’s shows a cute dragon geting exploded. Who couldn’t feel bad for this poor random dragon that I totally haven’t ever seen before? It also works within the story itself -  Gohan gets sufficiently angry, and Vegeta starts treading the tightrope of desperation. 

Gohan's Ozaru form isn't long lived however, as Vegeta suddenly learns the Kienzan and slices his tail off with it. Small problem though, Gohan was airborne, and the regression back to a normal Saiyan form is not instantaneous. His massive body looms over him, and with a Big NO, Vegeta go splat.

He's down but not out. He at least has enough energy to call for his Space Uber to come and pick him up. As he's crawling hands and knees into his escape pod, Krillin suddenly decides he wants to be important, and appears with Yajirobe's sword, poised to strike. 

Vegeta is understandably terrified, because after the day Krillin's had, he's gone full ride or die mode and isn't about to wait on an invitation to go full Thanksgiving turkey on this maniac.

However, Goku wants the pacifist ending and gives a very simplified version of the original speech to Krillin. If he's sorry, we have to let him leave. Because that's what being a good boy is all about. It's noteworthy that one of my all-time favorite Vegeta quotes happens right here in the original dub.

"When I come back to this planet, you're all going to suffer. And when you beg me for mercy, I'll stare into your eyes as I crush the life out of you."

However in this version, we're treated to "Yes, I'm very very sorry. Sorry that you're all still alive, suckers!"

And honestly, both versions are fitting for their respective interpretations of Vegeta.

As we pan out, the narrator waxes on the victory of the heroes and how he made bank from his bet with King Kai. Next time, don't make bets with the narrator you stupid idiot. Big dumb idiot god. 

I'm writing this at close to 4am if you couldn't tell. Scheduled uploads!

"Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of Dragon Ball Z Abridged!"

And that's it folks! Well, almost. We have one final scene to go through first.

Vegeta is hurdling through space in his Saiyan pod, lamenting his laundry list of losses and failures, but at least concedes that his situation cannot get worse. But we all know what happens to people who tempt fate.

"Vegeta... VEGEEEEEETA..." "Wh-What?" *DING* "I'm haunting you."

And thus, we've reached the end of Season 1! The Ghost Nappa song plays and the outro credits roll.

Conclusion

First off, definitely a longer review than I'm used to writing. Secondly, this was a great three-parter. I wasn't sure if the format would hold up like it does for single segment episodes, but it does. Now I'm sure there are bad episodes to come in the future, but for now I'm happy that the last three or four episodes have all scored relatively high. TFS is going into Season 2 with some great foundations built upon their older, more crude material, and they still have a lot of room yet to improve. I should consider being more critical with this next season as the expectations will be higher!

There’s one noteworthy gripe I have with each of these three parts, but only one worth writing about. -Vegeta suddenly sounding different, as if I didn't talk about that enough. I swear I'm not taking crazy pills. -Weird freeze frames at the end of Part 2. -Icarus, simply because he messes with me on a personal level. This fucking dragon doesn't make any god damned sense.

Other than that, I liked it. I don't know if I'd say "I loved it" but for the series as a whole, we're getting there at breakneck speed.

The first part had some great back and forth interactions with Goku and Vegeta, both the dialogues and the beam struggle, while the second part had more stand-out moments with just Vegeta, from the squeaking Goku, to the "I thought I'd be angrier" speech, his perfectly timed knee to ribs, and the famous last words "What smells like deer?"

The last part... didn't actually have much of this. I didn't find the talk about Vegeta’s father to be terribly funny and nothing else he said was extremely stand-out like in the previous two parts. This part didn't so much have humor as it was the "let's wrap things up" segment. Most of the noteworthy moments happen close to the tail end. I will admit, even ten years later, I still got a little sentimental hearing that outro from LK, and let's not sleep on Ghost Nappa. They may have done you dirty in Kai 3 but we still love you!

Overall, I'm happy that this was as good as I remembered it. I found jokes I didn't pick up the first few times, flaws that I didn't know existed, and a new appreciation for some subtle details that may have glossed over me while I was busy laughing about Christopher Reeves.

Part 1: 75 Part 2: 78 Part 3: 72

Score: 75

Passing Thoughts

"Kaio-Ken!" "Kaio-What?"

Small error on my part - Piccolo blows up the moon in Episode 4, and in my review of that episode, I mistakenly attribute a scene from this episode to DBZ Kai Abridged.

"I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should." - And like that, Vegeta has suddenly become relatable.

"Thank God, I thought he meant penis!"

"Time to crush you like an Arlian." "A what?" "Exactly."

"I haven't killed a damned thing since I got to this god-forsaken planet! Not for lack of trying mind you."

[twobellsilence]

Fanfic review #8 - “Shutter Speeds no Teema” by Shiira

Now that we’re done with CSS 203, it’s time to move on to another fic site I found on my escapades to the Internate Archive - Dreams and Illusion. This one has a HUGE list, so I’ll only be reviewing the fics that have caught my attention in some way or another (or else we’d be here forever). Now, I had planned to start this again once I was done with the entire page, but I stumbled upon a piece of work that affected me so much I couldn’t help but break my own rules and post this early.

That fanfic is  “Shutter Speeds no Teema” by Shiira.

Really, there have been pretty impressive works in here, and I’m quite excited to talk about them down the line, but this one in particular shook me to my very core. It’s one of the best HisaJiro fanfics I’ve ever read, even outside of GeoCities - I even like it slightly more than Mako’s work. And if you read my thoughts about Mako’s fics, then you probably know I LOVED those.

Watch out, this one’s the longest rant on this series yet.

Let me start by pointing out the stars of this fic - Hisashi and Jiro. It may sound silly, it being HisaJiro and all, but believe me when I tell you this is the aspect most of the pieces of writing I’ve read fail at. As you may know, I don’t really ship any of these guys, so I come into these fanfics with the tiniest bit of skepticism - even if I know their dynamic can be easily turned into an interesting ship, I’d rather sit back and watch the relationship develop, or at least take in the indicators of why and how the ship works if they’re already together. Sure, if you’re a HisaJiro fan you probably wouldn’t have a problem with any of these, but the issue lies in stories that try to explain how they hit it off; they usually take bonding for granted and attempt to match the characters right off the bat, which more often than not ends up in disaster or at least coming off as incredibly jarring. However, this fanfic handles all of this perfectly - it’s actually a bit of a slow burn, taking the characters the entire prologue and following 12 chapters to realize their love for each other, and that alone gives it a lot more room to develop and shape the couple. The author fully utilizes the length to their advantage, shedding light on every single one of the characters’ thoughts and feelings and using the time to make the relationship grow at a very natural pace. And really, that’s one of the things I love the most about this fic - Hisashi and Jiro’s relationship feels so natural, so right. The two have amazing chemistry and compliment each other so well that every single step they take feels earned and it’s very satisfactory to watch them grow. You can tell they love each other a whole lot, and it isn’t shoved in your face at each turn - instead, you can see it through every little action, word, thought and even the uncanny similarities between them.

It doesn’t stop there, though. Their dynamic is amazing, but the way they’re established as individual characters is also worthy of praise. I LOVED Hisashi and Jiro in here. Sure, they can be infuriating sometimes - they’re both as hard-headed and stubborn as a goddamn bull - but that’s just part of the charm. Jiro is the main protagonist, and I can say that’s probably the best decision the author could’ve taken given the plot and direction of the fic. It really helps solidify Hisashi’s character arc, since seeing it through Jiro’s eyes helps you spot all the little details in Hisa’s actions, and even though Jiro is confused by many of them you as a reader know what they *actually* mean. It is also very interesting to see Jiro’s inner struggles; he loves Hisashi with all his heart, but is convinced that the blue-haired guitarist will never feel the same about him because c’mon, it’s Hisashi we’re talking about here. And so you get parts where he attempts to justify Hisa’s moves and denies any sort of proof that he may feel the same about him, using the guitarist’s relationship with Teru (which I’m going to talk about later on) as a scapegoat to stop himself from getting any ideas. This, of course, is detrimental to Jiro’s state of mind, and as painful as it is it’s also fascinating to witness his slow descent into despair as time goes on, Hisashi’s moves become more and more apparent and his jealousy and hostility towards Teru grows worse. And I haven’t even mentioned Reiko. Yes, Reiko is in here, and I’m going to talk about her later on too, but for now all I’ll say is that she plays a key role in the climax of Jiro’s arc and works as a perfect element to help develop his and Hisa’s relationship and character. All this is complemented by Jiro’s base personality which, I must add, is based on his real self rather than his onstage persona, which is honestly the cherry on top as it makes everything even more realistic and tangible.

As for Hisashi, he’s honestly a treat. You see him struggle with his feelings a lot - he has zero social skills and doesn’t know how to display his feelings towards Jiro, so when he tries to leave his indifferent mask behind he ends up trying too hard and it’s just hilarious sometimes. Not that it’s a bad thing, since he does push the right (and wrong at some points) buttons in certain situations and contributes to the way the plot moves forward. It also helps a whole lot when he becomes more comfortable with Jiro, since you can clearly see he’s learned and grown based on how his actions change over the course of the story after this. And really, his behavior is a breath of fresh air compared to almost everything I had read so far - we’re treated to a softer, more sentimental side of his, which I honestly like more than the rough edge he has on most HisaJiro fics. Sure, he’s also kind of mean here in the beginning, but we quickly learn it’s all just a facade to mask his feelings, and while he and Jiro do share their signature rival banter here and there it eventually evolves into a joke between the two and it’s apparent both of them enjoy it. I also really, really like the twist the author included where instead of Jiro approaching Hisashi, it’s Hisashi approaching Jiro, and it carries through the story all the way until the end where it’s Hisashi who seeks Jiro to confess despite the bassist being in constant denial; again, this shows a more human side to Hisashi that really makes the character feel more impactful.

If I was to pick my favorite thing about this fanfic, though, it would be the plot in general. It’s excellent. Everything is planned out perfectly, every single detail is there for a reason, and everything *happens* for a reason. There are no plot points that come out of nowhere (save for a kind of major exception, but we’ll discuss that a little bit later), so the story flows naturally and realistically. All arcs happen in the right time, all locations and settings are strategically planned, and it’s a marvel to sit through. You can tell the author put A LOT of planning, time and effort into this, and it truly paid off in a spectacular way. Not only that, but it’s driven by Hisashi and Jiro themselves - it doesn’t move because it needs to, but rather because the *main characters* push it forward, making their development and dynamics shine and making the story as a whole work to near perfection. And I haven’t even talked about transitions - some of them are ABSOLUTELY GENIUS and I had to take a moment to appreciate them even more because lord, they flow so well that it’s almost unnoticeable, but at the same time it connects Hisashi and Jiro even further not only as part of the same story but as soulmates, too, which is an extremely original way to add to their relationship. As a little sidenote, I’d like to point out the relationship between the title and the story - it seemed like kind of an odd choice at first, but really, it becomes even more and more fitting as the story progresses.

There is one big flaw here, though, and that is the way down to the resolution. Again, the settings themselves are just on point, and the situations are structured in such a way that they flow well together, but it ends up coming off as slightly convoluted because of the characters involved. The author took a huge risk by making Jiro drunk in this scenario; it justifies his wild actions up to some point, but the reactions of everyone else to his tirades aside from Hisashi break it somewhat - this is something I’ll talk a bit later on however, since rather than an issue with the plot it’s more of an issue with the side characters themselves. Thankfully the conclusion is incredibly sweet and satisfying, although that doesn’t remove the fact that the road to it is a bit rocky on the end.

That said, I guess it’s about time to talk about the rest of the cast, and here’s where my problems with this fic truly begin. We got Ayu, Hisa’s pet cat, which is always a welcome plus - not only is he adorable, but he’s also used as an extremely valid excuse to kickstart Hisashi and Jiro’s journey and illustrate some of the boys’ thoughts about each other. There’s also Reiko, Jiro’s girlfriend; she, although a side character, is one of the main and most important plot points and also has a character arc herself, which grounds her character even more and deepens Jiro and Hisashi’s conflicts in the story. I found her to be extremely likeable - yes, she was kind of egotistical in the beginning, but she has no ill intent and truly loves Jiro. She learns from her mistakes and actively tries to becomes a better person, and as time goes by you can feel her dread as she desperately tries to salvage her and Jiro’s relationship, doing her best to fix things despite her knowing it’s no use, which is heartbreaking to watch. It doesn’t help that all this comes right at the climax of the story, reinforcing the dramatic effect of everything. And, sadly, the author did her dirty by leaving her hanging almost at the end, which is the forgotten plot point I mentioned on the previous paragraph - she and Jiro have a conversation that would have been CRUCIAL to the story, but neither it or Reiko herself were mentioned again afterwards, which makes me wonder if the author just forgot about her or ended up cutting her for convenience’s sake (because let’s be honest, the story is already complex enough, and her existence and role makes it even worse).

As for the rest of the band, they’re here, too. As I mentioned earlier, Teru plays a big role in the story, and the way he’s presented ties in really well with the continuity of everything; he is, in fact, one of the main factors that drive Jiro and Hisashi’s arc along with Reiko, and I must say I really enjoyed the way his relationship with Hisashi is portrayed in here. They’re really close, basically like brothers, so they tease and interact with each other in ways that would seem deeper to any outsider - especifically Jiro. His personality is also on point, he’s a forgetful, happy-go-lucky airhead that loves to have a good time but ultimately cares about his loved ones and acts like moral support when things get serious. The only issue I have with him is how he calls Hisashi and Jiro bitches at some points in the story; this is, I reckon, a bit too strong of a word for Teru to actually use in these contexts, especially considering these are his friends we’re talking about here, and it seems kind of out of character, at least in my opinion. But that’s nothing compared to the worst part of this fic: Takuro. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I know I am extremely biased in this situation. But even though Takuro is one of my most recurrent nitpicks in these reviews, that never actually affects my overall opinion since he’s not influential to the story most of the time; here, however, he’s a complete mess and the flow of the story suffers because of it. The author presents him as this grouchy, workaholic man who can’t even greet people before nagging them to get down to work. He doesn’t seem to actually care about any of the members - his only concern is his music, and it isn’t his problem if the others are feeling down or have any other bigger issue. This alone clashes with the sort of camaraderie the author is trying to implement into the band’s dynamic, but that’s not all; his character isn’t consistent, so he constantly fluctuates from mean to sweet whenever the plot needs him to and it does not work at all. Him trying to be supportive seems really out of character and, most importantly, out of place in a story where every single character is grounded and feels real since their very first introduction. Hell, even Toshi, who only has a couple of lines, has a more cohesive character than Takuro himself. And it doesn’t stop there - he actually plays key parts in pushing the story around, so while the plot itself is nearly flawless Takuro’s confusing personality and actions make it feel almost forced in a sense. Even settling for that crusty persona we were introduced to at first would have cleared up almost all of the narrative mess left after the climax, thus lessening the negative impact of Hisashi’s state of mind and Jiro’s drunkenness on the flow of the resolution.

Eve then, despite all the issues (which, let’s face it, aren’t that many) I may have with this fanfic, I can not deny how utterly gorgeous it is. Even with the small inconsistencies, even with the couple of questionable character choices, this piece of work is one of the most high quality you’ll find out there. Regardless if you ship HisaJiro or just want to have a good time, this fanfic will not disappoint - it’s an amazing choice and I can’t recommend it enough. Excellent protagonists, a great plot, a beautiful relationship built on trust and genuine love and a clean narrative and grammatical structure (save for the lack of breaks, which can be confusing sometimes, but it’s a nitpick more than anything) make Shutter Speeds no Teema a wonderful read.

[snkpolls]

SnK Season 3, Part 1 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 240 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE FIRST COUR 231 Responses

Overall, respondents had a positive experience with the anime’s retelling of the Uprising arc with a 4 being the most popular ranking. It seems most believe there was room for improvement, but that it was overall enjoyable!

Good shit man, good shit. Next arc is gonna wring my heart dry of every last feel in existence, but so far I am satisfied.

This season was poor. I hoped for better. The scenes I loved it the manga were removed. Lots of character development was gone. But my biggest pain is anime version of Kenny. I will be honest - I am disappointed.

I liked it but the manga version will always hold a special place in my heart

I thought it was amazing, despite all the new things and things taken out. I still love the series way too much to really criticize choices they or Isayama make. I know I'm still gonna watch it and love it.

FAVORITE ANIMATED COUR SO FAR? 235 Responses

Nearly half of voters favor the Clash of the Titans arc’s adaptation the most so far, but the Uprising arc came at a surprisingly strong second overall! 

Well done, WIT Studio! Although some of my favorite chapters became my least favorite and vice versa (sadly), this was over all the best arc in my opinion.

It was a good story, but they cut out way too many scenes I loved making it not the best adaptation when it comes to comparing it with the manga. Season 3 is still my favorite season though.

FAVORITE EPISODE(S) FROM THIS COUR? 231 Responses

“Friends” was the most well-liked episode of the first half of the season, but overall the last four episodes performed the strongest. This is likely due to their more faithful adaptation of the manga material than than the earlier episodes. On that note, “Pain” did pretty well in regards to the earlier episodes. 

First two episodes were meh (way too fast for my liking), then it got slightly better, but the last 4 episodes were amazing

that ending scene in ep 12, what the hell, that scared me so much but it was so well done! also that last scene before the ending song is great for hype lol, Erwin's (japanese) voice actor is a god, my god what a man, SUSUMEEE

RATE THE SOUNDTRACK 236 Responses

It is probably safe to assume that the majority of respondents agree with the sentiment, “OST when!?” The soundtrack was great this season according to voters. Hopefully Sawano treats us soon! 

It was so good and I really want the soundtrack to come out, I have 6 months to mentally prepare myself for the return to Shiganshina arc and I still won’t be ready

RATE THE ANIMATION 235 Responses

Overall, reactions to the animation were positive. Although there were some scenes that had room for improvement, ultimately we can’t deny that the hard work done on the action sequences really paid off. Here’s hoping for even more glorious animation in the second half of the season! 

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FOLLOWING KEY CHARACTERS BY THE END OF THE COUR?

We’ll let the results speak for themselves on this one. Levi, Historia, Erwin, Hange and Kenny drew the most positive feelings. Rod evoked the most negative feelings.

ARE YOU PLANNING TO WATCH THE NEXT COUR? 237 Responses

We’re happy to see that most of you guys will be around for more! 

I feel like this section and onwards are not going to make for very entertaining episodes and are better in manga format, particularly if it's going to keep forcing major changes

HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING THE DUB? 237 Responses

The majority of respondents have not watched the dub and have no desire to do so. 16% will get around to it eventually and 14% are keeping on up on it. 

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOUR OPINIONS OF THE DUB THIS SEASON? 211 Responses

Aside from the 75% who haven’t been watching it, those who have are having an overall positive experience with it this season, regardless if the original Japanese is the preference or not!

This season has been an improvement both in voice acting and script, I've been pretty satisfied with it.

I'm not sure why people think animes need dubs tbh. They never sound good. Kenny's voice actor really butchered the cowboy voice.

I've only seen a few scenes but when Levi shouted ''Nifa!'' it sounded really weird in the dub xD

The very idea of watching dubbed anime is heresy

DO YOU THINK LINKED HORIZON WILL BE INVOLVED IN THE NEXT COUR? 233 Responses

The majority are feeling pretty confident that Linked Horizon will be back again for part 2 with an exciting new opening for us! 16% are sure they will stick around, but we may not see them retake their role as the artist of the opening. A small sliver of respondents think that they will be absent. 

OVERALL, DID YOU THINK THE ADAPTATION OF THE UPRISING ARC WAS DONE WELL? 237 Responses

Just over half of respondents believed that the Uprising arc was adapted well overall. 28% felt it was a good story, but not a good adaptation - still enjoyable, but not close enough to the source material. Smaller percentages either preferred the anime’s retelling or, on the opposite end, believe that the adaptation wasn’t good in any way. 

Í think a few parts would've been better if they had stuck to the source, but overall it was a good adaptation

It was horrible to be very honest, ehhhhh they ruined it

There were a few cuts and changes that didn't make sense or took away from the story but it wasn't too bad. I love Attack On Titan too much to be ungreatful lol.

At some points it was a better adaptation, with changes I liked, and at some points the attempts to fix some issues created some others. I'd say I find it about even with the manga, the pros and cons balance out.

I enjoyed it, and I loved the action animation in the first few episodes, but I'd still have preferred a more faithful adaptation.

First half was rushed, i like the manga version of it better, but the second half that went more like the manga was excellent

It could've been a teensy bit better, but glad they hit all the marks that were important (except for the hesitation of the 104th squad killing people)

It was a good story, but they cut out way too many scenes I loved making it not the best adaptation when it comes to comparing it with the manga. Season 3 is still my favorite season though.

Although the story was entertaining and was produced well, it missed a lot of key factors present in the manga that really brings it down. At the end you have a feeling of hollowness as opposed to satisfaction

OPINIONS OF THE ARC BEFORE THE ANIME? 238 Responses

Prior to the anime adaptation, the majority of respondents were fond of this arc of the story. A few were indifferent or didn’t enjoy it, however. 

I thought this arc was boring when I read it in the manga and it honestly wasn’t any better when it was animated.

AND AFTER? 237 Responses

Opinions stayed about the same after the anime retelling, with just a small bump up in the “liked it” area.  

I actually like the Uprising arc. So when the anime came up I expected it to be better. So for me this is a good adaptation. Plus I think half of the budget was spent on making Levi 100 time hotter... My only regret is that they didn't show Levi shirtless.

Uprising arc is my favorite in the manga. So many changes have driven me mad but in the end, I have rather enjoyed this cour. The chara design and the animation are insane. Feel robbed in many ways though, but never mind.

I felt like a lot of details that made the arc good in the manga was lost in the anime

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE FOLLOWING MAJOR CHANGES?

While most stances were overall neutral on many of the changes, the most disliked change was taking away Levi forcing Historia to take the crown, thus unraveling subsequent events which eventually lead to the beloved punch/smile scene. The most well received change was including a proper Kenny vs. Levi fight scene in the cave. 

I did disapprove of some removals and additions, because I felt that the way the manga structured it made the plot flow easily. For the anime, it felt a tad rushed with the fast stream of information given to the viewers.

Like many manga readers, my biggest and only really significant complaint was the removal of Levi's choking-and-speech moment. It was entirely crucial to both his and Historia's characterisation and future development.

I only liked two of the changes. Everything they did that stuck to the manga was really well done.

The fandom is happy because of the 2nd fight between them in the cave. That was the worst fight IMO: Kenny didn't learn anything from the first battle between them and decided to go against Levi again; he was babbling some nonsense, offended his nephew and as result - he almost got killed. So in other words - Kenny was shown as immature, dumb simpleton who despised his nephew and was pathetic fighter.

while different, i still think it was a good adaptation and none of the changes really bothered me too much.

An additional scene that I'm still upset they didn't include - the conversation between Nile and Erwin before Erwin's arrest, where they discuss their childhood together.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE FIRST COUR?

A shame a bunch of the political parts were ''rushed'', but it was to be expected. Otherwise a good adaptation!

Decent adaptation that skimmed over the boring stuff. Too bad some scenes were hacked away.

"Okay, this is epic." - Ben Shapiro

I don't care that Isayama approved the changes and that the majority of people seemed to have enjoyed this arc more in anime form with the changes. I'm not an idiot, I know how adaptations work and that they're a different medium and that it wouldn't be a 100% panel by panel adaptation nor was I expecting it to be. Neither of the previous seasons were. But they removed and changed SO MUCH of what made the arc great and my favorite personally that I'll never get over that.

After a few fast paced episodes that were slightly Concerning™️ things slowed down and made a lot of sense. I’m glad that isayama got a chance to see uprising play out in the way he would have liked. And as far as changes, some were great, some were not awesome, but we always have the manga. Overall it was amazing and what will I do with my Sundays for the next six months rip

It was pretty calm, right before the storm of the next cour

First sighting of god tier character Floch

I feel like a fair bit of changes were made just to give the main/loved characters far more screentime, and some other changes to be simply dumb and entirely unnecessary

I wish they had just stayed true to the manga. It seems like they wanted to remove some of Levi's darker parts which makes him a less interesting character.

While it could have been better (less CGI!), it was phenomenal overall, and I believe guarantees that the Shiganshina arc is in good hands!

Rod's Titan was so gross. YUCK!

EEEEEEKKKKKK

10/10 there was a brief flashback of Mina Carolina in the Cave.

I'm still salty about some cuts but overall I liked it. Who will say no to Anime SNK?

For Yams story and characters are the most important, for the anime team - it's fun for watchers. That's a bit sad but okay.

Historias new coronation outfit was better than in the manga

I see the anime as an extra, so nothing that happens in the anime will change how I see certain characters or the arc itself. So I really had a problem answering your poll. In my eyes, it a gimmick, a nice animated extra but nothing more.

Despite not being a 1:1 adaptation of the manga, the anime still manages to do a fantastic job of adapting Uprising as well as altering it. The story and characters were still executed very well, and this arc overall had a MUCH better reception than its original counterpart which, in my opinion, says something.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 221 Responses

SHOULD THE POLLS CONTINUE/OVERALL POLL FEEDBACK? 226 Responses

We’re happy to see you guys are enjoying the polls! We appreciate all of you! <3

Thanks again to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again in April! 

[vgwriter]

Everything wrong with Kingdom Hearts 3 and why its not all bad

Everything Wrong

Kingdom Hearts is an interesting series to say the least. Over the greater part of the last two decades it has released 9 games on 7 different platforms. The truly astonishing thing is that they all add something to the series' overall plot. This is something that rarely happens in video games or fiction in general. The wait that many fans had for Kingdom Hearts 3 and all the expectation from prequels and years of development was bound to lead to disappointment. But enough with the broad claims and needless facts, lets get down to what went wrong with the game.

#1-The lack of Final Fantasy characters

This has been a pretty consistant outcry from fans since the launch of the game but probably came as no surprise to hardcore fans who had notice Nomura slowly directing the series away from FF. I agree with most fans and think this was a bad call, not because I didn't get to hit Sephiroth with a giant key for 10 minutes but because Square wasted character development on the Hollow Bastion Gang. Squall (Leon), Aerith, Yuffie, and Cid, who we had all seen since Traverse Town, are no where in sight. Not even a mention in the ridiculous amount of cutscenes this game had. Now, it is easy to say that they weren't consequential to the overall story that this game focused on but I argue they are not so easy to throw away. We watched and helped them go from Traverse Town to cleaning up Radiant Garden. Squall introduced us to the concept of the Keyblade and Heartless for crying outloud! With so many cutscenes on their world, they certainly deserved an onscreen appearance and really, an interaction, too.

#2-No Cloud and Sephiroth

That's right, this is so wrong it gets its own little paragraph. The Cloud saga has also been simmering in the background for many years with Cloud being tricked by Hades and battling the darkness within himself. The story fits so well into Kingdom Hearts' themes that it is disappointing to not see it come to a close in this third home console installment. Also, a numbered Kingdom Hearts game where I can't beat up Sephiroth? The Sephiroth fight was a rite of passage for me as a little kid and the idea of not being able to do it for the long awaited Kingdom Hearts 3 is a major let down.

#3-The Combat and Difficulty

The basic combat, much like the rest of the game, looks absolutely stunning. But, like a trackcar, it doesn't feel amazing (for the most part). Sora has never been as airborn as he was for this game and this greatly effects the difficulty in the otherwise outdated combat system. The basic combat system is floaty, for lack of a better word, and Sora is a lightening bolt across the worlds. In previous titles, the difficulty derived from how well you could move Sora (or other protags) with emphasis on understanding boss patterns and manipulating mobs. With the amount of mobility Sora has in Kingdom Hearts 3, players don't have to worry about mob control or bosses for that matter. Sora will move wherever the player wants in almost a flash and the game just isn't built around that kind of mobility, yet. Kingdom Hearts 3 enemies are built like the previous titles: slow, large, and highly predictable. They were challenging when Sora was an immobile piece of cabbage in Kingdom Hearts 1 but now they are simply too easy for this new high paced Sora.

The biggest additions to the combat are its biggest detractors. The forms seem too elementary and bland when compared to the drives used in Kingdom Hearts 2. Also, the fact that they are all attached to their respective keyblades is an odd way of limiting how the player can use each form. I personally loved the Frozen keyblade's forms but wanted to go for a more physical combat style and with the keyblade being magic focused, it was a choice I didn't like making. The attractions are a major detraction (insert laugh track). Aside from a few boss specific attractions, they disrupt the flow of combat and give the player a get of jail free card in a game that is already way too easy. They aren't very involved either and it turns an otherwise interesting and explosive combat system into an unrealized, underdeveloped shooter, quicktime event, or an invincablilty mode. The new mechanics for the combat were clearly an afterthought to the games graphics.

#4-Sidelined Characters and Sora's Arrested Development

This should come as no surprise by now but Nomura benched Kairi, again. Not only did he bench her, he ultra benched her. In game that was supposed to be her big fighting debut she had one on screen kill. While other female protags like Aqua and Xion have some badass moments here and there, Kairi is a cheerleader in an era of game storytelling that has left the trope far behind. Her and Axel (about the same rant for him) are trapped in this little time and space pocket dimension that we only get to see in cutscenes. Sqaure really missed a great opportunity to make the world Kairi and Axel went to in to a unique coliseum experience. We could've seen Kairi and Axel train or even helped! It's a great opportunity that was missed just like Kairi's character.

Although we have seen Sora grow up physically, Sora is still the same naive little kid on the inside and that is becoming a problem. It was fine when Sora was just the vehicle for us to explore Disney worlds in KH1 but every other character has grown up and we've grown up too. Sora has also been through way too much to be the same kid he was in KH1. Characters like Riku, Axel and Aqua have all been through a lot and their struggle changed them in to the character they are in KH3. Sora needs to mature and grow in future or else this franchise won't have a palatable main protagonist. So, while it is nice that Haley Joel Osment can use a comfortable range when voicing Sora, it doesn't make up for the fact that Sora hasn't changed at all over the past decade and a half.

A small thing, but the last fight with Xehanort would've been great with the Destiny Island Trio instead of Sora, Donald and Goofy.

Why its Not a Bad Thing

So, while this game is by far the weakest number entry in the entire series in my opinion, the future for the franchise does show promise. For starters, the Xehanort saga was wrapped excellently. (The ending was by far the best part and did justice to the absolutely massive scale of the story so far) Looking to the next game, Nomura will essentially have a fresh start and that is great news. The character cast had become a little bloated with the idea of three trios (BBS, Days, and the Destiny Island Trio), each with their own complex storyline and resolution. With this fresh start, we could see a more focused style of storytelling at best or at worst, some great new characters and plots. Either way, it is certainly exciting!

The combat was weak because the enemies had yet to adapt to the mobility Sora has with the Unreal 4 engine. With the overwhelming comments on the games difficulty, I'm pretty sure Sqaure will try to created more aggressive AI and bosses that really test the player on how well they can use Sora's new found mobility. The idea alone gives me chills.

Overall, I give the game a 3/5 but I still have high hopes for the franchise as a whole.

[monkey-network]

‘Change Your Mind’ was a fun, messy anime hoot ‘n holler, I reckon. Is it my favorite episode of the season? Nah, that’s a different episode that I don’t wanna spoil. Is it the best episode of the arc? Nah, that’s still Escapism. But nevertheless, there is quite a lot to unpack that I wanted to express and if I did a play by play of this 44 minute special, we’d be here for several hours and nobody got time for that. And if I continuously jabber on about this in spaced out posts, I’d feel more like a SU Critical blog than I typically am and that’s pretty depressing. So, I’ve packed all my stray thoughts into one package to get it out the way. Spoilers ahead.

Small headscratch, but I question why it’s notably four episodes on the wikis but it’s essentially one episode and should count as one episode. Can’t really see one part without understanding everything else so I’m a bit confused. Then again, I’m not that encyclopedic on media production so it’s no big deal.

I liked Blue Diamond in the first part and this arc as a whole. In spite of who she generally is, Blue was a consistently good character in that her regret and more motherly nature never felt out of place compared what we’ve seen of her initially because her devastation over Pink’s “death” never felt superficial and the times when she got serious were eyebrow raising to me. And her turnaround in this felt reasonable compared to the others for she thought more of Pink/Steven beforehand and looked like she was more aware of how times have truly changed, even when the allusion to abusive families fall flat.... you know, if we were thinking realistic. Eh, Blue best Diamond, if that means anything.

I question why Yellow had what appears to be forced fusions or genuine crystal amalgamates if Diamonds were against fusion. I understand the ones on Earth, but why was she keeping them, probably for some time now, if she has no use of them? Again, maybe they’re born crystal amalgamates. It’s unclear.

I would say deep down I felt cheated that Lapis and Peridot are apparently cool now even when Lapis took everything in the divorce and did the reentering parallel to an Irish goodbye. But I guess dropping the barn counted as an act of apology, and maybe we’ll see them interact more in the future, so plbbt. At least they got to be badass and anime together while looking the part too.

In the back of mind, I forgot that Bismuth was in the episode sometimes. Beyond giving Connie her sword and raking up that star punch, I can’t say she added much to the story.

Speaking of which, wish the Diamond’s Pearls got to partake in kickassery of the sort. Homeworld was surprisingly empty in hindsight.

Loved Rainbow Quartz the 2nd. He’s beautiful and I would gladly get strong for him.

Only one thing bothered me about Sunstone, aside from the sunction cup summon. and it’s with their small arms. I thought those big arms were more for her shapeshifting since Garnet’s known to shapeshift her limbs to be enormous, but they’re always big so... what  value do Sunny’s little arms serve? Least with say, Smokey Quartz or Malachite, their multiple limbs added to their ability but Sunny’s two beefy arms carry most of the way. It’s like adding two dormant legs to the side of a grasshopper. And seriously, what was the point of the suction cups.

Though I love Monty Python reference they added in. That got a huge laugh outta me.

Obsidian was a spectacle, being the first genuinely naked human gem of the series, and the design reminded me a lot of Asura’s Wrath. Though one small detail I wish they had was where Obsidian’s fingers dug into the mech, leaving large dents on the ship, which would’ve hit home the struggle of getting to White as opposed to somehow being able to grip onto the mech’s more or less smooth surface.

Overall I’d say the part between the Diamonds reconciling and finally reaching White was hit or miss if we’re talking writing. Like sacrificing logical flow more for providing the fan service isn’t nothing new, but time could’ve been utilized more for more to go on.

I couldn’t take White as a serious threat anymore, she was just too cheeky and Ebersole sounded like she was really enjoying herself with voiced. I just hope somebody dubbed Glados over her sometime.

Couldn’t take the moment where Steven got his gem ripped out either cuz as hardcore as that was, adding a sound effect sort of killed the tension for me and I laughed my ass off. I’m sorry.

But as much as I loved the scene that was well animated by veteran 2D animator James Baxter, I especially loved the scene where after Pink Steven forms, he turns to White and says, “You should’ve gone for the head.” Snapped his fingers and destroys Homeworld to finally end everyone’s suffering. Like holy shit, that was the best scene in the entire series, hands down.

Plus I like the idea that Pink’s gem... actually fused with Greg’s sperm. *wheezes* I’m the worst

As much I like the idea of White Diamond, having been told off by a child, reforming her viewpoint, being a less coerce being and making the family whole again, the fact that she’s still a mass murdering, mass torturing, mass colonizing, authoritarian Orwellian style villain rubs me the wrong way with how much of a 180 things turned out to be. It’s like if the Beaudelaire siblings immediately forgave and thought Count Olaf was a great person all along after he did that one good thing and then died. But I guess if Steven held White under a small lens of contempt, then it wouldn’t be Steven Universe. What also makes this feel hallow is that.... when you think about it, all this amounted to was the Diamonds doing Steven a solid. They don’t really quit being dictators, they never really claim that Homeworld should change its way, or think White should step down as leader thanks to her perfectionism affecting HW harshly. They’re just nice rulers now... like Kuzco except not as cool. This plot honestly could’ve fallen apart if White Diamond was more reasonable while still maintaining her villainous perfectionism. She was kinda stupid in a way but eh, whatever. Like yeah, she’s shiny... but she’s not

Then again, imagine White Diamond’s current position.

Imagine the sense of losing your entire worldview, ideology, and sense of self to a being the size of your big toe. Imagine everything you’ve built up, potentially taking centuries or millenniums to uphold to sheer excellence, all crumble before you in a instant. How would it feel? To lose your purpose and have nothing to show for yourself beyond your now shrill existence and status regardless of your stature, because you feel that if you were to try again, history could repeat itself but 10x worse. That small being that conquered you, could do it again if tempted and what would you do? What else would you do if you have some semblance that it won’t work out perfectly as before? What else would you do if you’re now capable of fearing something with which you don’t and potentially will never understand? You honestly don’t have anything now, you’re nothing now. So what could work out for you besides smile, wave off your loss with integrity, and feel comfortable knowing that you live another day while understanding now that any day could potentially be your last, given what you know.

You feel me? It’s like that.

And I’ll say that while the Diamonds suddenly having a change of heart can seem off putting, the fact that Steven went through all that shit with his real family just to do so is reasonably sound. Can’t say a redemption arc in the making ain’t all bad if the protagonist didn’t put in work as well. And if Naruto can forgive Sasuke after they beated each other’s ass, I feel that this ain’t too different.

“Change Your Mind“ was a good song, better than the new Crystal Gem extension. A nice cap on the sprite cranberry of an episode.

So it seems like this episode marks the end of Steven Universe. Now it’s time for Steven Universe 2. Because if this wasn’t anime enough... we’re gonna be time skipping, babey. Reasonable enough, this episode messy here and there but I have one counterargument to this, given that this show is five fucking years old.....

I’d be a bitter asshole if I said I didn’t genuinely enjoy this, both initially and on the rewatch. It is an all around entertaining finale and I’m glad it embraced the weeb trashiness in itself like I always knew it would. Funny thing about all this is that we’re going into hiatus and I’m willing to bet that excluding the movie, we’re gonna have the same amount of premieres as last year. But I believe the hiatus won’t matter as much since they certainly gave people quite the show and I can’t help but applaud along.

Now if ya excuse me, I’m off to marathon Kirby Right Back at Ya, an anime I believe is better than SU all things considered. Have a wonderful day.

[ruluxe]

Scaultrite City

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender Pairing: Lance/Loving Himself, Lance/Original Character Characters: Lance, Original Characters Tags: Aliens, Comedy, Lance-centric, Kissing, Marriage Proposal, Gift Fic Summary: Lance rescues a small ice planet from the Galra and its prince wants to thank him in a very peculiar way. Notes: My dear Tom asked me to write a fic where Lance gets appreciated, perhaps by a gorgeous alien prince. I hope I did their request justice. Love ya babe!

Read on Ao3

Lance cautiously follows the royal guard down the long stretch of hallway towards the throne room. They're dressed in long, heavy robes made from what looks like crushed velvet, soft blue in colour and fastened together with holo buttons. They march robotically, carrying slender poles that resemble a wizard’s staff, complete with an opalescent orb caged within a crystal claw.

The castle walls are made of glistening scaultrite. He remembers the ordeal Keith once had to go through to get some and wonders just how they managed to harvest this much from the belly of a weblum.

“You could make a thousand giant teluduvs out of this castle,” he says brightly, hoping to break the uncomfortable silence. The guards do not regard him.

He stops abruptly as they halt at a giant door, one tall enough to fit the whole of Voltron through. There are knockers made of scaultrite too and as one of the guards leans forward to lightly tap one against the door, Lance begins to get nervous. For once in his life he feels like his wit and charm might not be useful in this situation, he’s already tried a number of times. It isn't until another royal guard pokes it's pale grey face out a small and round peep door inside the larger one that Lance's mood lightens. He feels like he's seen this comical movement somewhere before.

They speak to each other in a foreign language, a series of mechanical whirs and clacks that sound more like heavy machinery struggling to start up rather than words that have any meaning. The guard behind the door shifts its beady black eyes towards Lance and then nods in understanding before shutting the smaller door.

He suddenly begins to sweat profusely under his paladin armour despite the frosty atmosphere. Lance tries to convince himself that this could only mean good things, but the guards’ stiffness doesn't put him at ease. He begins chewing on his bottom lip as the guards usher him inside. It’s funny that no matter how many times he's done this before, doing it alone makes this so much more nerve-wracking.

There’s a long swoosh and a booming thud, the sounds of a big and heavy deadbolt sliding to unlock. The doors open with a loud whining creak and Lance follows their lead.

Inside the throne room, guards form a line on either side of a navy carpet, stretching the distance of this very large space. They’re dressed differently in here, with tall garish caps and chin straps to hold them in place. Their robes are just as long but the collars resemble white feather boas and the cuffs remind Lance of faux fur hand muffs. Their weapons are spears made from scaultrite with tips so sharp they could pierce through the thickest of armour. None of them look at Lance, but rather through him as he walks. Like statues. It gives him the chills.

“Welcome,” a voice calls, silken and soft. It echoes off the hollowed walls.

Lance startles, it’s the first bit of English he’s heard since arriving on this planet, other than the slurs and curses of the Galran fleet he took out moments ago.

His eyes find the throne. It’s huge and jagged points make it look like an iceberg jutting out from the Arctic Ocean. Also made of scaultrite.

“No surprise there,” Lance mutters under his breath. Then his eyes fall to the being occupying it.

He expected to find a short, pudgy alien, like the rest of the residents in the city. They, like the guards, are slightly different in appearance, a light grey compared to the sickly, almost translucent colour of occupants outside the kingdom. Their faces are round like small moons, their irises pinprick black floating around mercury-like sclera but otherwise humanoid features. One nose, one mouth, normal teeth and oddly enough, human ears. It’s kind of jarring to look at, even though he’s seen his fair share of extraterrestrials.

Their leader, however, is much different.

He is strikingly handsome, with silvery skin and flowing white hair. His irises are an icy blue, stark against the dark sclera. Just under his eyes bear the mark of an Altean, though these are crystalline, dug deep into the leader’s cheekbones unnaturally and catch the light like the rest of the castle. Lance can't help but shudder with a peculiar intrigue. His ears are pointed and peek through strands of his hair, which Lance wonders if they are also in homage to the race. Atop the leader’s head is a scaultrite crown with five high points resembling shards of glass. In the front centre is the highest and widest, adorned with a large opalescent gem. He wears a long, midnight blue mantle over a futuristic looking bodysuit that looks and shines like it was made from mithril. It’s fashionable, Lance will admit, but practical and comfortable? He doubts it.

“I am Prince Oz,” he declares, rising from his throne.

Lance snorts and hysterical laughter follows. He knows now why everything had felt so familiar to him.

The prince cocks his head in confusion. “Why do you laugh?” he asks, his mouth quirking into a smile.

Lance tries to stifle it before he gets into trouble but can’t help himself. “Your name is Oz. Like the Oz? As in the Wizard of Oz?”

The smile drops from his face as he shakes his head, his brows knit pensively. “I do not know this wizard you speak of. In this kingdom, there is only one Oz and it is I, the great and powerful.”

“Yeah huh,” Lance agrees with a nod as he fights off another laughing fit. “It’s nice to meet you, Prince Oz, the great and powerful.” He bows as the prince steps down and suddenly that anxious knot is back and Lance has to wonder if these aliens are versed in linguistic nuance. All jokes aside, he must be serious now otherwise he’ll probably be beheaded before Blue can crash through this scaultrite palace to rescue him.

The prince takes his gloved hand and kisses it, and heat flushes Lance's cheeks. “I had my guards bring you here to thank you for saving our city. It has been under the Galra’s control for too long. We fought back at first but many of my people suffered and died at their hands.”

Lance stands, watches with confusion as the prince circles around him, skimming his long fingers along his paladin armour.

“You must be a very brave warrior on your planet. We have heard the legends of Voltron but have always wondered if our kingdom was too far out of its reach. For you to travel so far through thousands of galaxies to save our home from the Galra’s clutches says a lot about your character, paladin —”

The prince stops, slides his fingers under Lance's chin. They're surprisingly smooth and cool against the heat of his skin. Oz looks at him expectantly and realisation dawns on him.

“Lance,” he squawks, instantly chastising himself for producing such an undignified sound in front of royalty.

Oz tips his chin and smiles. Lance can see his reflection in the scaultrite boomerangs under the prince’s eyes.

“Lance… what a lovely name.”

Lance's heart is thudding in his chest. He isn't sure if he's flattered or terrified or a little bit of both. He laughs nervously, feet cemented to the scaultrite floor. “Thanks… And the whole saving your planet thing well, it was really nothing,” he says as modestly as possible but it sounds just as boastful as anything that comes out of his mouth.

“I beg to differ,” says the prince, coming full circle to stand in front of him. Lance hadn't realised how tall the other was before now. Not when his words are softly spoken and his height is quite clearly being used for intimidation. “Which is why I have prepared a feast in your honour to not only commemorate your bravery but to celebrate our union.”

Lance physically feels his eyes bulge out of their sockets and his heart jumps into his throat. “Our what?!” he chokes, leaping a step back away from the prince.

Oz smiles once again and though he's still gorgeous, his facial expressions are beginning to look a lot more nefarious. Even downright eerie. “Our union, of course. Your level of courage will be a quality that my people must learn to aspire to and my excellence will continue to expand this beautiful city until we are a force to be reckoned with. Together we will lead Scaultrite City — and possibly the universe — to greatness.”

Lance forces down the panic quickly rising from his gut. He isn't quite sure how to get out of this. “Uh, look man —” He stops himself in an attempt to smooth out the tremble in his voice but he also reminds himself that he is speaking with royalty. He clears his throat again after shooting a nervous glance over his shoulder. The guards are still in their places and have yet to start closing in. Even the prince remains at the foot of his throne. “I’m sorry, Prince Oz, but I can't marry you. I also can't stay here on your planet. I have a family back on my home planet that I miss a lot. My sister Veronica, my brothers Luis and Marco. My parents and grandparents. Besides, I already have some—”

Again Lance stops himself from finishing the sentence with someone I love. He has no idea how the prince would react to that. Instead, he says, “— other planets I have to rescue from the Galra.” He ends up puffing out his chest, if intentional he'll never really know. “Voltron needs me. They'd be lost without my mad skills.”

The prince stares at him in what Lance hopes is quiet consideration. He's sure if he makes it out alive, this will definitely be a story to tell, though he'll make sure he leaves out the part where he was so terrified at one point, he probably would have peed his pants.

Finally, after what seemed like one thousand decaphoebs, the prince nods. “I agree, Lance. It would be truly selfish of me to steal you away from your duties as a valiant paladin of Voltron. You must continue your mission.”

Lance shakes his head in shock. He doesn't think he heard right. “Are you serious? You're letting me go, just like that?”

It's the prince's turn to shake his head and he begins closing the distance between them. “I do not hold you captive, Lance. You are free to leave at any time.”

“But what about our union?” Lance blurts. He scolds himself internally for not being able to think before he speaks. He backs away from the prince as he gets closer when he hears a commotion behind him and his back hits against something preventing him from moving any further. His heart starts to race and his blood runs cold knowing that the guards behind him have just blocked his only exit and this is about to get real dangerous. Lance wonders if he should try and reach out to Blue but part of him feels guilty already at the thought of the lion destroying the castle to get to him. It is truly a stunningly marvellous building.

The prince leans forward and he takes Lance's head in his hands. He's even more beautiful up close. His hands are smooth as they caress Lance's skin, igniting a fire in Lance's cheeks. Despite the gentle motion, Lance is frightened, and his eyes squeeze shut as he tries to concentrate on calling out to his lion.

However, the link is broken when he feels the plush push of lips against his own. His heart stops for a minute, either out of terror or some other emotion he isn't quite sure has a name. His petrification only eases from here on out, beginning in the tips of his toes. A tingling warmth meanders through his icy veins, and Lance can't explain it himself but he finds himself embracing the kiss, gently grasping at the prince's cloak. He has no idea what he's doing.

The kiss doesn't last longer than a dobash, at least he thinks so. Lance isn't sure if he's disappointed or relieved by that fact. Either way, when their lips part, Lance is left in a hazy and wanting state. He has half a mind to chase that heat right back to the prince's mouth.

Luckily, the prince speaks.

“It is an open invitation shall you return. It was an honour to meet you, paladin Lance. I hope one day we meet again.”

Lance can feel the heat radiating off his entire body, certain that he'd melt ice should he be near it. He's rendered speechless, and happily so, lest he make a fool out of himself saying any number of things that would get him into trouble.

The prince turns on his heel and walks gracefully up the stairs to his throne. Lance watches in awe before stammering, “It— It was uh, very nice to m-meet a great and powerful prince like yourself.”

Gone is the resistance at his back and as Oz sits, Lance catches one more of his smiles, this one more genuine than the rest. “And never will again, I fancy. There is only one of I and I am it.”

Lance nods, feigning understanding, and turns to leave the throne room. The guards are back to lining a walkway, silent and statuesque for their tiny, fat bodies. The door is closed and there is no doorman in sight. Lance's anxiety returns.

“Uh,” he asks shakily, running his hand through his hair. “How do I get out of here?”

“All you must to do is to knock on the door three times and command the wormhole created to carry you wherever you wish to go,” Oz calls from his throne.

Lance turns to face the prince and almost laughs. “Are you saying I've gotta tap three times and repeat 'there's no place like home ’?”

“If home is where you desire,” replies Oz. The marks on his face Lance had assumed were fake until now begin to glow as he places both hands over orbs on the armrests of his throne Lance had failed to notice before. Maybe he was some form of an alternate universe Altean after all.

He marvels for a moment, even more in awe than before. This is probably simultaneously the coolest and weirdest thing that's ever happened to him since this journey began. It makes him think of home, where there are vast valleys of green and blue skies with the fluffiest of clouds; crystal blue oceans and the people he loves most. Where things move at a slower pace but that's okay because he'd get to savour the moments. Yet he knows if he had never come here, he would never have found his place in the world, would have never have known what it's like to be part of a team that needs him. A universe that needs him. He would have never come to value his own self-worth.

So, as desperate as he is to go home to be with his family, Lance does not knock three times and wish for that. Instead, he closes his eyes and thinks of his other family, and the home he's found in them.

And he knocks.

[narniasummerexchange]

Modern Romanticism

for @little-narnian-notes

Word count: 2423

Summary: Modern!au. You meet Susan at university and your emotions snowball.

The university is beautiful. A roving campus steeped in centuries of history and knowledge. A gorgeous lawn you can imagine yourself studying on in the warmer months and a name and plaque for everything.

Downside? The fact you think you’ve made a grave mistake with your classes for the semester. You can just feel the thousands of dollars gurgling down the drain in the pursuit of intellectual enlightenment. Still, you plough on in the hopes that the next set of classes is better now you know what you don’t want.

You stifle a yawn and frown at yourself. You’ve held off from coffee for this long, but it’s getting to crunch time and there’s no more room for being strong and exercising self-restraint. You need caffeine.

Standing in line at the little cafe down the road, you rub at your eyes as you examine the menu. It’s a fairly average place - cream walls with old mass-produced paintings and stiff wooden chairs with rocky tables that you wouldn’t dream of resting your drink on. The usual or drink of the day, you ponder.

“One medium latte, regular sugar please.”

The voice in front of you sounds nice enough, gently pulling you from your early morning daze. Shifting in your worn jeans, your eyes follow the figure to their bag. The satchel is familiar, with its gold lion badge against warm brown leather. It sits a few rows in front of you in your Wednesday morning and Friday afternoon Intro to Poetics lectures. Someone clears their throat and you leap forward sluggishly to place your own order, coughing out a general apology. You stand aside once you’re done, eyes wandering till they fall on the customer in front of you.

The young woman is devastatingly pretty. Quiet, attentive eyes that seem to fragment light. Feathery lashes that tickle the fainest of freckles, surely earned from summers gone by. A glow to her cheeks and a striking lip colour flawlessly streaked on. If you had some kind of artistic talent, you might have gone on about her for longer. Her order is called and she drops the barista a whisper of a smile with her thanks, leaving you with your inadequate thoughts.

You find out through plenty of coincidence and eavesdropping - a rather bad habit of yours - that her name is Susan. An old school name, but you don’t question it. In fact, it suits her. Sophisticated and timeless.

It’s silly. You’ve never even had a proper conversation with her, why is she suddenly so interesting to you? Now you know she exists, as much as you try to stop yourself, you start seeing her everywhere.

Susan is very keep to herself, despite the many people she knows and enjoys. A spectre that weaves the quad pillars between classes. Long, whispering hair and a glide to her step. It contradicts all of the tidbits that you’ve picked up about her.

Most mornings you see her in the cafe, sometimes with a latte - usually those days entail vibrant makeup, maybe to distract from the long nights - other times with a green tea. You still haven’t introduced yourself during lectures, which you’re fine with - at moment, you’re existing educationally.

When you finally speak, your thoughts by now have gotten away from you and you’ve put this poor girl on a pedestal of beauty and curiosity. The lecturer for poetry - a kind woman who wears flowing tops in kaleidoscope floral, just the type of person you expect to teach such a class - asks for a group brainstorm on romanticism in the 18th century. Your partner in crime, Jonathon is away with the flu, leaving you high and dry on the buddy front. Susan is looking around, till her eyes land on you. She makes a little gesture at you and you nod, pulling your stuff together to move to her.

“Hi, I’m Susan.” She says brightly, holding out her hand.

You utter your own name, firmly gripping your hand. She looks at you, with a glitter to her eyes and a twitch to her pink lips.

“We get coffee around the same time, don’t we?” She drops your usual order.

“That’s about right. I’m surprised you recognised me, seeing as I’m always behind you.”

Both of you laugh at your attempt for humour then get down to it, knowing there’s only a limited amount of time.

Conversation flows easily with her and it’s not a struggle to remember what was said just ten minutes ago when her mind races eloquently and jump starts your own. Between your interpretations of what it all means, to how it’s seen today, ideas bounce back and forth constantly like the ebb and flow of the waves. It’s a little painful when time is called. Still, she smiles at you, the edges of her mouth curling.

You grab her phone number at the end of class, as she assures you that she’ll find you on messenger later. It feels like some sort of victory really.

She messages you the next day, asking if you were up for a party on the Friday. Spontaneous and filled with emojis. Much more like the nuggets of facts you;d heard. You decline though, stating you had too much to catch up on that weekend. Maybe next time, she replies. But, honestly, you’ve never been one for the night life of university. Of the house parties and pub crawls till your eyes fall out and you fall over. You get pictures on her snapchat story of that weekend, her make up sharp and figure flattered in the same kind of red that swirls in her glass. This was more common of her.

Anyway, there’s always still the cafe in the morning. Now you smile when you make eye contact and make brief small talk while you wait. Names pop up here and there, mixed with if only’s and back when’s and you wonder if the people who she’s made these memories with are very far away. You walk in time with one another back to campus and she babbles about what happened on the weekend and about how she wishes her roommate would tone it down on the punk rock for a moment so she can think - or at least share the speaker. She asks you about your days and feelings and that need to look at her blooms again. To take in every single part of her, because there is just so much there to admire.

Nowadays, you meet up to proofread work before handing it in or just to study in general. You excel in Shakespeare and the Elizabethan language - begrudgingly - and she seems to have the hang of everything else. Sitting in the cafe is your new favourite thing, especially in the mornings when the sun isn’t too strong as it filters down the street and into the big glass window the both of you have claimed as your own.

Susan looks at you, warmth rounding her cheeks and pen poised above paper. Her burgundy sweater devours her adoringly but you know from the cut of the fabric that it probably wasn’t hers to start with. “Has anyone told you that you’re quite the romantic?”

You splutter, her lovely aesthetic stationary feeling too pretty for your tactless grip. “P-Pardon me?”

She laughs. It’s not bell-like, but full and soft, like cotton sheets and a cat’s purr. She taps her pen to the spiral-bound notebook pinned under her wrist. You’ve managed to stuff a pie of paper under a table leg so it doesn’t rock and you’re careful not to be the one to kick it.

“Your way with words. It’s long and flowery. But not in a bad way! You just sound like a lovesick teenager about everything. Even coffee if I’m reading this right. There’s a pause and she smiles, turning it from a sharp beam to a glow. "It’s cute.”

Your face feels red and you can’t look her in the eye as you croak out a broken thank you.

It’s just getting to autumn and she’s suddenly gone very quiet. It’s mothers day and you’re both situated in the cafe, comparing notes again on what you suspect to be your own lecturer’s work. Her make up is a bit more subdued and her long hair is tied up off her face in fluffy, slept in waves. She reminds you of your first meeting, the colours de-saturated. She hasn’t done a very good job of hiding her weariness, from the way her nimble fingers tick slowly to the dullness in her eyes.

You clear your throat shyly. “Su, are you okay? You’re awfully quiet.”

She stares at you for a long moment before sighing. “Yeah. Sort of.”

“How come you aren’t at home, though? Didn’t you say that you lived close by?”

If your parents weren’t overseas for their anniversary, you would have made the long trip back home to cook breakfast and dry cupcakes along with binge-watch that murder mystery series you mum adores so much. She nods and shrugs, pulling her hands away from her tea into her lap.

“My parents aren’t very well at the moment. None of my family is. Just before the start of the semester, there was an accident - the train that derailed down by the south tunnel?” You nod for her. “We were all coming back from holiday. I missed the train in favour of one last night at the festival- James was really cute - but the rest of them - my parents, my three siblings, a cousin and a few family friends - went ahead on time. They were all in the front carriage. So at the moment, it’s just me. Everyone else is in hospital. Seriously injured or in a coma.”

You can’t resist the urge to reach out your hand to grip her arm. It jerks her eyes up to make contact with yours.

“How horrible! Su, I’m so sorry. I’m here for you, you know that right?”

She gives a melancholy curl to her lips and nods, twisting her arm to squeeze back. “I know, thank you.”

You make it your mission afterwards to watch over her. Insist on her messaging you when she got home from a night out, even though she was making all her friends do the same to her. Offering a cookie or two in your lectures - warm and just slightly soft in the middle with gooey choc chips, her favourite. Popping up with notions to go out and explore the town. She had been so kind to you before, you felt the need to return the favour.

This is when things went down hill.

You thought you had her on your mind before, not it was borderline obsessive. Not just her well-being, but just her. Did she like what you wrote? Did she know it might have been about her? Susan’s rapid existence had snowballed violently into a full-blown crush. You try your best not to stare at her too much, pressing crescents into your palms to quell the urge to hug her out on the university’s front lawn. She talked more about her family now that her burden was off her chest. How Edmund would read poetry with her, no matter how little patience he had for it. That Peter would we livid she was wearing on of his favourite sweaters out so quickly. Eustace would be prodding Lucy’s innocent buttons, with his best friend Jill holding no loyalties except to women. She hugs you when you part now, her rosy, floral scent surrounding you in a pleasant haze and her silky hair brushing elegantly against your cheek. Oh, if you had a truly creative cell in your body, you would have written great stories of her by now.

Together you sit in her living room, on a well-loved but slightly bowed sofa, some tv series you wanted to binge on playing softly on the screen. Legs innocently tangled and in your most comfy pyjamas, while she whines just a little for the bag of snakes on your other side. She’s devoured the chocolate pretzels you brought around, knowing she would enjoy them. Your insides are coiled tight and your heart thudding out of your chest warmly. You kick the bag aside and turn to face her, still almost shoulder to shoulder. You can’t not say something. Now with how soft she looks and the comfort and perfect familiarity seeping into your bloodstream.

“Let’s go out sometime.”

She blinks at you, argument cut short. “W-What?”

“We should go out sometime. Just us. Like on…on a…a date.”

The tension spikes and thickens like whipping cream. She stares at you, beautiful glowing eyes flashing with the screen. The blanket smells like her, floral but not too strong with a hint of something else underneath. Her freckles stand out under the artificial light and you wonder for half a breath what you must look like to her.

“I really like you, Su.” You take a breath and a moment to gather your thoughts. You don’t want to sound like rom-com, even if you both like them. “You’ve become really important to me since we met and I’d like to try this with you. Know I can make you happy, especially now and be there for you. Hope you feel something. So, can we?”

You lay your hands out on the blanket between you with bated breath, so much so you might turn blue, but you wouldn’t mind. There is a pensive moment where her eyes examine you before she bridges the gap to twine her cool fingers with yours. Her cheeks bloom red and you grin at her, so bright that you can’t see through your lashes.

“I - of course. You’ve been with me in a way most of my other friends haven’t. I’ve - I’ve thought about you a lot. So, yeah. Let’s give this a go.”

The sigh that passes your lips is heavy and your face floods back with colour. Her next action leaves your breath caught in your throat again as one hand slide up your arm to cup a cheek. Eyes bore into you and her narrow nose is a breath away from yours.

“Can I…kiss you?” She murmurs. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about since we sat down, really.”

You laugh breathlessly. “If you want.”

When her lips press against yours, all your thoughts finally settle so it’s just…Susan.

[michaelandy101-blog]

Make a Timeline Graphic in Google Docs, Phrase, Excel, Google Sheets, and PowerPoint

New Post has been published on http://tiptopreview.com/how-to-make-a-timeline-graphic-in-google-docs-word-excel-google-sheets-and-powerpoint/

Make a Timeline Graphic in Google Docs, Phrase, Excel, Google Sheets, and PowerPoint

Infographics are an effective way to seize consumer consideration and talk key ideas. Why? As a result of they mix related data with graphic influence to extend retention and engagement.

Knowledge backs up this commonsense assertion: Research discovered that folks retain 65% of the knowledge they see — however solely 10% of the knowledge they hear — and spend 39% much less time trying to find the content material they want when it’s displayed in infographic format.

Probably the most compelling makes use of for this purposeful format? Timeline graphics. These date and information supply automobiles provide a technique to rapidly talk vital data — from key dates in your organization’s historical past to approaching undertaking milestones or predicted market developments.

In fact, it’s one factor to see the worth in timeline graphics and one other to truly create enticing and efficient visuals. On this piece, we’ll sort out timeline ways for acquainted functions together with Google Docs, Phrase, Excel, Google Sheets, and Powerpoint.

three…2…1…let’s go!

What’s a timeline graphic?

Whereas there’s no single format for timeline graphics, the commonest composition makes use of 4 components:

Knowledge

Visible

Header

Description

Every timeline ingredient comprises all 4 components, and parts are then organized in left-to-right order of oldest-to-newest occasions. This format gives simplicity of kind and performance — parts are straightforward to learn and determine, and the “flow” of time is easy to identify.

Let’s say you’re making a timeline of key occasions in your company historical past utilizing this framework. It’d look one thing like this:

This (very primary) instance was made in Google Docs and makes use of an arrow to indicate the passage of time. Dates above the road are paired with temporary particulars beneath. Some timelines will embrace each a header — similar to merger — with an extended description beneath. How a lot data is price together with depends upon the complexity of the subject at hand, who’s going to be utilizing the chart, and its general objective. On this case, our graphic ingredient is the road itself however you may as well insert related photographs of individuals or locations related to the occasion to extend consumer engagement.

One other frequent graphic timeline format runs top-to-bottom with earlier dates on the high of the web page and later dates additional down. To maximise area many of those top-to-bottom templates alternate data left-and-right down the road.

Make a Timeline on Google Docs

So how do you make a timeline graphic?

1. Create an image.

Head to “Insert”, then choose “Drawing” and “+ New”. It will convey up a brand new window that appears like a checkerboard.

2. Begin drawing.

Choose the “Line” button from the highest menu and select “Arrow”. Then, draw a line throughout the display screen. To verify it’s straight, take a look at the left-hand facet — if you happen to solely see one line, it’s stage. In case you see a couple of, it’s at an angle.

three. Enter your textual content.

Click on on the Textual content Field instrument — represented as a T surrounded by a field — and create a field above or beneath your line to begin including particulars. You may both copy and paste a number of bins to make sure constant sizing and spacing or use a single, large textual content field. Whereas the latter choice is faster to create (we used it) the pure left-to-right format of the field means you’re restricted in how data seems.

four. Save and shut.

If you’ve entered your entire timeline information, click on “Save and Close” and the picture will likely be mechanically added to your Google Doc.

Make a Timeline in Phrase

Perhaps you don’t like Google Docs, possibly your organization makes use of Microsoft Workplace solely, or possibly you don’t like the thought of doubtless shared timelines. Regardless of the case, it’s additionally doable to create a timeline graphic in Phrase.

1. Insert SmartArt

Open a brand new Phrase doc and head to the “Insert” tab, then choose “SmartArt”.

2. Discover your timeline.

From the brand new menu that seems, choose “Process”. It will convey up a bunch of potential timeline graphic choices, all the pieces from single, massive arrows to related textual content bins to linked circles. The only choice is the “Basic Timeline” which comprises dots embedded in a big, clear arrow.

three. Enter your information.

Use the textual content pane situated on the left-hand facet to enter your timeline information. Urgent “Enter” creates a brand new timeline entry — if that you must add extra data to a particular timeline merchandise, press Shift+Enter to create a line break.

four. Customise your timeline.

Customise your timeline dots and arrow with shapes or colours to realize your required look.

Phrase doesn’t mechanically calculate time between occasions; because of this, all objects in your timeline will likely be equidistant from each other. If that you must talk a bigger span of time, you may drag occasions additional aside manually, however it will finally distort the graphic.

Make a Timeline in Excel

In case you take pleasure in utilizing Microsoft Workplace for creating timelines however wish to make issues harder for your self, attempt constructing an Excel timeline. Whereas the completed product gives easily-accessible information in a well-recognized format, the hassle required is considerably extra substantial.

1. Create an information desk.

Create a three-column desk in Excel that comprises your timeline information. Use the primary column for dates and the second for occasion titles. Within the final column, enter a sequence of numbers — these numbers will decide the peak of your timeline plots. You may set all of them to the identical top with the identical quantity or completely different heights in a repeating sample relying in your desire.

2. Insert a scatter chart.

Choose “Insert” from the highest Excel menu, then “Charts”, then choose a Scatter chart.

three. Import your information.

Proper-click the chart that seems and select “Select Data Source.” Choose the “Add” button within the “Legend Entries (Series)” menu that seems. Click on on the small spreadsheet picture that seems subsequent to the “Series X values” field, then select the column of dates you created.

Then, choose the small spreadsheet subsequent to the “Series Y values” field and select the information in your timeline top column. Click on “OK” and also you’ll create a scatter chart with dates on the backside and dots at various heights.

four. Eradicate gridlines, add error bars.

Choose your chart and discover the “+” within the upper-right to convey up the Chart Parts menu. Uncheck “Chart Title” and “Gridlines”, then test “Data Labels” and “Error Bars”

5. Join the dots.

Head to the “Error Bars” menu choice and choose “No Line” in your Sequence X Error Bars — it will take away the horizontal strains on both sides of your information factors. To your Sequence Y Error Bars, set the route to “Minus” and the Error Quantity to “100%”. It will create vertical strains between your dates and your information factors.

6. Insert occasion titles.

Within the “Format Axis” menu, choose “Series 1 Data Labels”, uncheck “Y Value”, and choose “Value from Cells.” Then, click on the small spreadsheet icon. Choose your occasion titles column after which click on “OK”.

This could create a primary timeline with dates alongside the underside and information factors at various top, every with a small description above. If desired, you may add additional formatting and shade choices from the Format Knowledge Sequence menu.

Make a Timeline in Google Sheets

The polar reverse of Excel, Google Sheets makes it straightforward to create undertaking timeline.

1. Create a brand new timeline.

Open Google Sheets and choose the “Project Timeline” choice.

2. Customise.

Edit your timeline. Change any textual content field, add colours, and modify dates as required. Whereas customization is bounded by the fundamental format of this Gantt chart, Google Sheets gives one of many best methods to create and share a timeline.

Make a Timeline in PowerPoint

Making a timeline in PowerPoint is sort of similar to the method utilized in Phrase.

1. Choose your design.

Head to the “Design” tab and choose your theme.

2. Insert SmartArt.

Click on on “Insert”, then “SmartArt”.

three. Select and fill your timeline graphic.

Choose the timeline you like and it is going to be created with three parts. Add textual content to the weather instantly, and use “Add Bullets” so as to add bullet factors beneath. Choose “Add Shape” to further timeline sections.

Timing is Every thing

Timeline graphics add handy context to in any other case dry information factors. From particulars about your organization from inception to present interplay to in-depth undertaking milestone markers, visible timelines in Google Docs or Sheets, or Microsoft Phrase, Excel, or PowerPoint provide a technique to seize essential information whereas concurrently boosting viewer curiosity and bolstering data retention.

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[taz-writes]

25 Writing Questions

@whycanthisnotbeeasier tagged me in this pretty massive tag game, which is pretty cool! Thanks for the attention! Here goes nothing... 

1. Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

A few of them, for a few reasons! The most obvious is Book 3 in my Feilan series, under the working title Storm and Shadow (it’s edgy I know). Reason being, it just got too damn messy. The end of book 3 is the low point of the whole series in every available subplot--so many things go wrong, a few MASSIVE things happen that are game-changers for book 4, and it’s hands down the most difficult scene I’m going to have to write for this series. When it came down to it, I couldn’t do that. The real end of the story at book 4 wasn’t that clear to me either, which is a major problem. So what I’m doing now is working backwards, a little bit. I’ll return to the Purple Sands once and for all after I’ve tackled book 4 and I know where I’m actually going with this. 

Also, I’ve been delaying work on a few other baby WIPs because they’re just not developed enough to see the light of day yet. But that’s pretty minor. 

2. What work of yours, if any, are you embarrassed about existing?

Uhhhhhh... literally the entirety of the original drafts of books 1 and 2. They’re beautifully-written bullshit. Also there’s some really bad Homestuck fanfiction from six years ago still floating around the Internet somewhere under an old pseudonym of mine. I like to pretend it doesn’t exist. 

3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favorite scenes first? Something else?

I like to write front-to-back, which in my case is the same as chronological. I’m a bit of a pants-er, and my outlines often don’t make any sense once I’m actually a few chapters in and I realize that the planned plot point coming next is painfully out of character (or just impossible in general). I tend to use the exciting parts as motivators to get me through when I get writer’s block. 

4. Favorite character you’ve written?

Violet. Hands down, indubitably, Violet Ravenhart. She’s probably the best fictional character I’ve ever created--she has so many layers to her, and she’s so nuanced, and genuine and close to my heart in ways I never expected. I think I’ve done a really great job creating her, and I only hope I can write her as well as she deserves. 

5. Character you were most surprised to end up writing?

Kyrina, I think... she was originally supposed to be something COMPLETELY different than what she’s become. All of my villains used to be really two-dimensional and flat, but Ky’s come the furthest away from there. She used to be an Azula expy? Now she’s just a dumbass. 

6. Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late / complicated to change now

Part of me wants to say that I’m proud of everything I’ve made, and I do plan to stick to my guns, but there are a lot of aspects of Feilan’s worldbuilding that are incredibly messy. The magic system is the most obvious... if I could go back and change that, and make it significantly less complicated and hard to understand, then I probably would. But the whole thing is built into the structure of the world, and I’m emotionally attached, and besides, it’s unique! It’s definitely got plus sides. 

When it comes to things like that, I’m more likely to retcon or explain the weird thing than erase it altogether. Any dumb trope can work if you write it the right way. 

7. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Oh god, I love telling people about my stories. I talk about Being A Writer all the time! I don’t share my work very often, though. 

8. Favorite genre to write

Fantasy!

9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I like to take walks, or just go sit alone in places. I draw my spirit and energy in writing from the natural world... when I feel drained and creatively empty, I go to the creek behind my house, or I take a walk around Schenley if I’m at school. It even helps to just sit outside for a while. Nature inspires me. 

10. Write in silence or with background music? Alone or with others?

Depends on the scene! Always alone, though. Other people tend to distract me. I write with background music most of the time, but if I’m working on poetry or the scene is particularly intense then I turn it off. My writing style, especially in emotional moments, is very reliant on the rhythm of the words. Having music in the background interrupts the natural flow. 

11. What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

DIALOGUE. Dear lord, I used to be so bad at dialogue. I’ve also improved at plotting, but that improvement is... nebulous. 

12. Your weaknesses as an author?

I like tropes, and I also like doing weird stuff. I often like both of these too much, resulting in plots that jump from point to point with little clarity. I’m also a consistent retconner, so my characters’ motivations and goals can change with little to no warning. I’m working on that. 

13. Your strengths as an author?

I’ve been told that my prose has a very strong flow to it, especially in descriptive passages. So for all my faults with the construction of my stories, my actual mechanical writing is consistently excellent. And I’m also a fan of my character concepts, even when I don’t write them out as well as they maybe deserve. 

14. Do you make playlists for your work?

Absolutely! I have spotify playlists for most of my stories and all my main characters. I don’t actually listen to those while I’m writing, I prefer listening to video game music, but making playlists for my writing is a lot of fun. 

15. Why did you start writing?

Because I couldn’t find any books that told stories I wanted to read, so I decided I’d make them myself. I wanted to read stories with characters who dressed like me and thought like me and did amazing things without people questioning it all the time. Also, I wanted stories with fairies who weren’t vapid useless girly-girls. 

16. Are there any characters who haunt you?

Most of them, at some point or another. All of my main characters in Feilan are manifestations of some part of me. I wrote Violet to cope with depression in high school, Dusk came directly from how trapped I felt when my parents wouldn’t listen to anything I said, Sayara is the physical manifestation of righteous fury against the world. So their muses lean pretty hard into me when I start running into those problems again. 

17. If you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Please use an outline. I know they “cramp your style,” but please, for the love of God, use a freaking outline. And figure out the ending FIRST. 

18. Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?

Yes!! Some of those were things I watched more than things I read, but it still counts. I was really into the Redwall books as a kid, and they’re a direct cause of the weird tropiness inherent in my early writing. I think I still favor a lot of cheesy tropes that I learned there--I like to think I write them with more nuance, though. The TV show Avatar was also a MASSIVE influence in how I create stories and characters. I mentioned earlier that Kyrina used to be an Azula expy, but on a larger scale ATLA introduced me to grey morality that works. Zuko’s redemption arc is on a level I strive for to this day. Rick Riordan’s books inspired my character voices, I’ve always liked his humor and his writing showed me that you don’t have to cling so closely to traditional grammar rules to write well. Fullmetal Alchemist was another big influence on my stories’ morality, 

There are probably more, but I don’t remember any right now. 

19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc.?

See: Taz’s greatest flaws as a writer. 

Jokes aside, I like to keep one single print paper outline for each story that I’m working on. I’ll write out notes to myself there, create a chapter-by-chapter outline, and edit things in the outline as I go. They’re a great time capsule of all the things I’ve retconned over the course of my series. Recently I’ve also started using Evernote to track things digitally, but I’m still figuring out how it works. 

20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Both! Depends on the day. I write when I have the spark and the attention span, and I write for however long it lasts. 

21. What do you think when you read over your older work?

Some of my old work is actually quite good! So I’ll appreciate that for what it is. The parts that are less good I laugh at, and I’ll send excerpts to my friends going “hey look at this ridiculous bullshit I created three years ago isn’t it funny??” 

22. Are there subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Yeah. There are a lot of uncomfortable things lurking on the periphery of Feilan that I’m super awkward with. Violet’s trans-ness is the main one that comes to mind, because I want to confirm it in canon but there’s really no way she would ever bring it up of her own volition. Sayara’s too stupid to notice anything and definitely wouldn’t be rude enough to ask about it if she did. There’s also, well, the fa Viandre situation. I’ve avoided going into too much detail about the abuse there, but every situation with Dusk and fa Viandre gives me the willies. I write it because I think it’s important, and it’s a powerful arc, but it’s fucked up. 

More generally? Sex scenes are uncomfortable to write in general for me, I don’t mind reading them but writing them is super awkward. Romance in general can be that way sometimes. I just don’t know how to handle it. 

23. Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I don’t know if there’s anything obscure, necessarily. I think being a musician helped my writing improve, because I’m very sensitive to what Sounds Good, and with poetry especially it’s become more of an instinct than conscious knowledge. 

24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

I wouldn’t say I’ve ever become an expert on anything in the interest of research, but I’ve become moderately proficient with a few things. I’m in the process of learning everything I can about conlangs so that I can finally give all my made-up words some internal consistency, so that’s cool. I took a couple group fencing lessons. I’m pretty lazy about my research, honestly, and when I don’t already know something I lean towards just making it up from wholecloth. 

25. Copy / paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

I knelt by the crack, peering into it, hoping, even as the desperate stillness grew stronger and the silence did not change and time almost seemed to stop.

Cool starlight slid like molten silver through the shimmering gaps in the trees, sinking into the world around me. This cool starlight illuminated everything: the pocks and picks in ancient stone, and the knife-point edges of blades of growing grass, and the dust that had settled upon the little hiding place and the child’s bones it hid. 

-

This is an old excerpt, from my newer draft of book 2. I think I wrote this almost exactly two years ago. I’m rather fond of it, though. This is Feilan’s aesthetic in a nutshell. 

This was an essay at the end, but also a tag game, so... @jade-island-lives @firewritten @thewingwriter @lady-redshield-writes, if yall wanna do this, go for it! No obligation of course. :) Anyone else who sees this and thinks it’s cool, feel free to do it and say I tagged you, too! 

[postgamecontent]

The RPGs of the Super NES Classic #3: Secret of Mana

Original Release Date: August 6, 1993

Original Hardware: Nintendo Super Famicom

Developer/Publisher: Square Enix

Nintendo's 16-bit hardware had a lot of great action-RPGs, but perhaps none were as significant as Square's Secret of Mana. This was particularly the case in the West, where Japanese action-RPGs hadn't caught on quite as they had in Japan. The action-RPG label has always been a fuzzy one, with most of the games in the genre leaning pretty hard on one part of the label or the other. For many a player in the West, however, Secret of Mana was one of the first such games out of Japan that felt like it could satisfy both RPG fans and action game fans in equal measures. It also got considerable promotional support from Nintendo, which surely helped the game find its way into the hands of many young players. Adding to its legend is the fact that Square was never really able to make another game in the series that had the same appeal. With no rights issues holding it back, it's easy to see why Secret of Mana was chosen to carry the action-RPG flag for the Super NES Classic.

This is the first follow-up to Seiken Densetsu, otherwise known as Final Fantasy Adventure, Mystic Quest, Sword of Mana, and Adventures of Mana in its various forms. Secret of Mana is somewhat infamous for its tumultuous development, most notably its late shift from being a Super NES CD-ROM game to having to fit on just a regular cartridge. Apparently, a great deal had to be cut from the game and as a result, the final product feels a bit disjointed and buggy at times. Of course, this shift was only necessary due to Nintendo deciding not to pursue their plans for a CD-ROM add-on. While you obviously won't hear any official word about it, I've heard rumors to the effect that the debacle around Secret of Mana was one of the reasons why Square jumped ship from their previous Nintendo-exclusive status. Still, in spite of all that, Secret of Mana is a really enjoyable game, with a unique feel all of its own.

Or perhaps I should say "because of all of that"? I think I've mentioned before on this site that I believe the reason why Secret of Mana is the crowd-pleaser that it is comes down to those required cuts. Series creator Koichi Ishii is a developer along the lines of his former co-worker Akitoshi Kawazu. He favors ambitious ideas and doesn't seem all that interested in being tied down by the conventions of the genres he works in. Like with Kawazu, this has resulted in most of Ishii's works being love-or-hate affairs. He's even had his name attached to some genuine clunkers. His most widely-appreciated game is Secret of Mana. I can't imagine it's a coincidence that it's also the game where he had the least amount of freedom to pursue his ambitions.

Thanks to those restrictions, Secret of Mana ended up being not much more complicated than the Game Boy game that spawned the series. It's a much bigger game, and the presentation obviously blows its Game Boy predecessor away, but the weird and woolly sub-systems that would come to characterize the Mana brand are in short supply here. You can move around and attack with your weapon, charge up for a stronger attack, and cast magic or use items from a menu. Most of the weapons have a secondary use for navigating the world, and each weapon levels up individually as you vanquish foes with it. Magic similarly becomes more powerful the more times you use it. This probably sounds a lot like the much-maligned Final Fantasy 2, but the system isn't quite as broken here. Unfortunately, you'll probably still want to sink some time into grinding levels, particularly for magic spells. One nice point is that the weapons actually change form as you level them up. You only need to get each weapon type once.

One big change is that rather than playing as one character with a rotating guest controlled by the computer, you'll end up with a permanent three-character party. You can only control one of them at a time, of course, while a fairly stupid AI controls the other two. If you happen to have a couple of friends, a couple of extra controllers, and a SNES multitap, you can swap out that silly AI for some real humans. Square did this sort of thing from time to time in the 16-bit era, and while I'm not sure they really thought of it as more than a fun extra, it ended up being a major point in Secret of Mana's favor. People with multitaps were few and far between, but you could at least enjoy the two-player mode even if you didn't have one or know someone who had one. For its time, Secret of Mana was one of the best multiplayer RPGs you could find. The Super NES Classic unfortunately preserves that "missing third player" experience, but it's still a good time.

Truth be told, though, I think the game is a little too long and leisurely to play through completely with other players. Pulling your friend in for a boss fight is a good time, but it's not quite the same joyride when you're just parking yourself outside of a town, casting magic to raise levels. If you were a kid with a brother or sister who maintained a similar schedule to yours and liked playing this kind of game, then you were set. Otherwise, it's a fun thing to do now and then but you'll be thankful that it's basically drop in and drop out. I remember the first time I beat the game, I did it with a friend controlling the Sprite. In hindsight, that was definitely the easiest way to tackle that tricky situation. The computer AI really isn't up to doing what needs to be done in that particular fight.

There are a lot of weird moments in Secret of Mana that help lend it its flavor. I've written elsewhere before about the bizarre out-of-nowhere appearance of Santa Claus partway through the game, and while that's about as strange as the game gets, there's nevertheless a lot of instances of similarly unexpected gags and references. I remember finding out from a magazine that the possessed books that populated one dungeon had a small chance of flipping open to a naked woman and being shocked that Nintendo didn't force that to be removed from the English version. There are a couple of mysterious faces carved into the world map that don't have any explanation. Then there's the Ancient City, which flips your whole image of the game's setting upside-down. You go to the Moon, you travel by cannons, and you visit an island that sits on the back of a giant turtle. It's all very quirky, if a little scatter-shot in its tone.

The game on the whole is just as patchy as its eccentricities. It does a lot of things well. The variety of locales lends the game the feeling of a true adventure. The selection of weapons gives you some interesting combat options, and it's really satisfying when you land a solid blow on an enemy and thwack them into oblivion. The story may not flow well but it's interesting enough in the moment. At the same time, there are definitely areas that feel like they needed more thought. Having the player charge up an attack only serves to lengthen combat artificially, and when that attack misses because of the dubious collision detection, it's quite frustrating. The translation was done in a hurry and it shows. The game is very terse, and there's little room for proper characterization. The computer AI isn't up to snuff in many situations, which can be frustrating. There are bugs a-plenty, and there are plenty of places where you can feel the editing scissors in action.

Happily, the good parts of the game handily outweigh the minor annoyances. I don't find Secret of Mana nearly as interesting as some of Koichi Ishii's other games, but it's probably the easiest game of his to enjoy. I keep hoping to find another layer to the game whenever I come back to it, but it genuinely just is what it is. I thought I might find a new angle this time, having finally played Legend of Mana. All the context which that really provides, however, is to underline the rather obvious fact that Secret of Mana wasn't so much finished as it was buttoned up. Frankly, it's something of a miracle the game turned out as well as it did. Almost as unlikely as Square's seeming inability to satisfy players in the same way again, I suppose.

This was a game that I actually picked up around its original release date. I can't remember what exactly pushed me into it beyond being a general fan of Square by that point. I remember enjoying the Nintendo Power coverage of the game, and I recall that one issue came with a poster of the gorgeous cover art depicting the Mana Tree. That poster was hanging on the wall of my bedroom for quite a while, and I still think it's a great piece of art. The game's art design is excellent overall. The sprites are extremely expressive, with great attention paid to the enemies especially. The backgrounds are nicely detailed and always fit the intended atmosphere nicely. It's lush and verdant when it wants to be, cold and mechanical when it needs to be, and just all-around nice to look at.  

The music is also superb. You have to believe this was one of the areas that took the biggest hit from the shift from CD to cartridge, but I can scarcely imagine how it could have been better aside from being played back at a higher quality. Composer Hiroki Kikuta's soundtrack has a very different feel from other Square games of the period, with a certain organic quality to it that almost perfectly matches the game. Even small things like the whale sound that plays when you power on the game help make this game sound different. The tunes shift from breezy to oppressive depending on the situation, but all of them are good at doing what they need to.

Above all, I think it's fascinating that Secret of Mana has been able to hang on to its legendary status over the years. Unlike contemporaries like Final Fantasy 6, Chrono Trigger, or Earthbound, Secret of Mana doesn't transcend its genre in any meaningful way. It's just a really fun game, one that Square has been decent about keeping in circulation for old fans to enjoy again and new players to discover for the first time. While none of Square's follow-ups have managed to capture a similar level of success, the company seems to understand that this game in particular is a favorite classic. The game has been re-released on the Wii Virtual Console, smartphones, as part of a Japan-only collection on the Nintendo Switch, and of course as part of the Super NES Classic Edition line-up. Secret of Mana is also getting a full remake that is due early in 2018.

As the sole representative of its genre on the Super NES Classic, Secret of Mana serves its purpose quite well. It's also one of the better multiplayer games in the package, albeit one that requires a fair bit of patience. It's unfortunate that Nintendo couldn't find a way to include the three-player mode, but I suppose it would be a lot of trouble to implement for just one game. Whether you go solo or with a friend, Secret of Mana is certainly worth playing again. Square hasn't managed to top its wide appeal with another Mana game in nearly 25 years, and it may well be another quarter of a century before they do.

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Next: Earthbound

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[ourexes]

The "GIRLS" you hate are not on TV

Why the actual HBO show and its showrunner do not match the ones in your head.

              It’s so funny-slash-tragic that the overwhelming majority of people who hate Girls most adamantly are actually hating on a completely different show. One that must air in their minds whenever they get really angry at Lena Dunham or at Starbucks, but not on HBO at ten on Sundays.

               The latter is a half-satirized, half-empathy-demanding study on a very particular group of young women, with no intention or desire to represent the whole of either the millennial or female experiences—an impossible venture. Only that of these ultra-specific, oftentimes obnoxious four characters. Yet after six seasons of endless debate, many still don’t seem to get this.

               In preparation for the finale, I recently spent an afternoon scouring YouTube for old clips from the series, and in that dream-like coma made the always perilous and ill-advised decision to scroll down and scan the comments—if anyone cares to know, the post in question was a hilarious car-ride scene involving a Maroon 5 sing-along and Shoshanna’s thoughts on female presidential candidates. After some obligatory praise for Adam Driver’s character—the only dude involved—one observation with exactly forty defiant, icy blue upvotes read: Does Lena Dunham even listen to what comes out of her mouth?!

               Now, when I stumble upon things like these, me being the big boy that I am, my soul sinks a little—and unbidden red fury rises in its stead. Well, very confused person, A) Yes, she does, because this was actually put on paper many months in advance, perhaps even by herself, unless it was an improvised bit, and at any rate B) It’s really coming out of Hannah’s mouth, her character, the part she’s playing, and not hers. This is a scripted television series, not The Hills. Does not one of these people know the difference?

               In a wonderful piece by Jia Tolentino for The New Yorker two weeks ago, she attributes this tendency to conflate the two to the show’s ability to craft such raw, fully-fledged characters and stories. She argues that the writing and directing are so excellent, audiences can’t tell the difference between these scenes and real life. That’s high praise for a series with the naturalistic instincts and sensibilities of this one—for any scripted show, one would say, save for maybe Game of Thrones—, and a much more optimistic theory than the next most plausible one: sexism, and generational side-eye. These guys simply could not believe that a twenty-four-year-old woman could create a thoughtful, poignant fictional world, instead of the real-life version of UnReal’s very fake The Bachelor. Could she be capable of some actual, what’s the word? Self-awareness? Could she and her co-stars portray such narcissistic characters without they themselves being just as shallow? No, impossible. She doesn’t even look like a model! She must be a mess.

               Yes, it was mighty surprising to these folks when HBO—Deadwood-, The Sopranos-, Game of Thrones-, all-these-shows-these-macho-men-revere-HBO—succumbed to Dunham’s tricks, letting themselves be fooled by this chick’s—what, wanton sex-appeal? No, we’ve already discarded that. Um, art-world connections? Yes, HBO was tripping over itself to greenlight her pilot after that one.

               It’s so exhausting when everybody alive in this planet insists on having strong opinions about a TV show of which not even half of them have watched a single minute. Maybe a quarter of those have seen an episode, or two—if we’re being charitable. And then maybe ten percent, or five, actually understood what they were watching.

               And then they liked it—or they didn’t. Maybe it tickled their fancy, or they respectfully concluded that this wasn’t for them. But that makes Girls a perfect metaphor for the West’s current political climate—brace yourselves for we are reaching peak Girls think-piece here—: how can we have meaningful conversations about any one issue if we can’t even agree on what’s true and what isn’t? How can we talk about Girls, ultimately a piece of art, a work of fiction on premium cable, if we’re never even looking at the same show?

               A good illustrative example of this disconnect lies in the line that will likely go down as the show’s most memorable (and no, sadly it’s not “It was nice to see you. Your dad is gay”.) Near the end of the very first episode, an intoxicated Hannah rushes to her parents’ hotel room to hand them her manuscript, and announces that, while she doesn’t want to freak them out, she thinks that she may be the voice of her generation. “Or at least a voice”, she continues, “of a generation”.

               This comically self-aggrandizing statement is meant to be a joke on Hannah—who, it bears repeating, is on drugs in this scene��, on the complete lack of self-awareness that would come to characterize all the major players in the series, and most of the humor. But that didn’t stop smug bloggers and hot-takers from reading it as a mission statement by Dunham herself, all lines between reality and fiction be damned. In related news, Bryan Cranston cooks meth in his backyard.

               It is telling that these misunderstandings extend to Ms. Dunham as a creator and public figure. She first faced backlash for building a show that was ostensibly white—lambasted to an extent, it’s worth noting, that probably no other series in the history of television ever has or ever will be—, and supposedly trying (and of course failing) to act as a spokesperson for every woman in her twenties—an extremely lazy and outright inaccurate take, as we’ve established.  Never mind her much-repeated explanations that she, like so many of her peers, was only writing about her own experience—by definition limited—; and her willingness to engage with these conversations in a significant way, using them as a chance to learn; never acting dismissive or over-protective of her creative property. A willingness translated into attempts to bring on more non-white actors in guest-starring roles, her constant vouching for creators and storytellers of color (and of different genders, religions and sexualities) to be given the same chances that she got—a sentiment turned into tangible action with her feminist newsletter Lenny Letter, and her production company A Casual Romance, which provide a platform for those who lack one (both projects a result of her collaboration with Girls executive producer Jenni Konner)—and her own admission that, looking back, she “never want[s] to see another poster that’s four white girls”.

               And yet, has any of this been successful in appeasing the naysayers? Not a bit. Both Girls- and Lena Dunham-fueled loathing seems to exist in a stagnant pond near a fast-flowing river: unable to grow or morph into anything else, and unable to ever be challenged or debunked by the goings-on of the actual waters. Not unlike those liberal and conservative bubbles we keep hearing so much about.

               So, aside from the admittedly misguided remarks she sometimes makes in public (for which she tends to apologize), and a healthy little dose of envy towards her privileged status as a well-to-do white woman (which she seems aware of), the Lena Dunham you so vehemently hate probably does not exist either.

               This whole piece is not an attempt to shut down any criticism you might want to level at Girls if you haven’t consumed the sixty plus half-hours of content available—there’s a very important discussion about diversity that you’d still be rightfully invited to, for one (though I would still beg you to listen to what the people behind the scenes have to say on the matter, so that it is in fact a debate and not a monologue). But when we talk about the quality of the show, its value, again, as a work of art (and it is sad that so few of the conversations around it have actually been about this), if you haven’t even seen it—or you have, but refuse to engage with what it’s trying to tell you—, how to put this gently? Just shut up.

               You do not need to have opinions about every other thing under the sun (this is a hard concept for a lot of people to grasp, I know. I blame capitalism). And if you do, we certainly don’t need to hear them all. Girls is famously not a show for the faint of heart. Nor is it one for the lazy hot-take pitchers or the confirmation-bias-hungry. I mean, sure, you can still watch it—but it’ll be an entirely different piece.

               Having informed opinions to contribute to the conversation takes work. Work no one is forcing you to do—not every piece of culture needs to appeal to you, and not every Summer best seller or successful movie franchise requires your input. So, stop being lazy and make an effort to listen, to understand why a group of people have assembled all these different pieces to put together the product in front of you, what their goal is and whether they achieve it—and where, and how—, and how you might be expected to react to all this; or shut up, quit clogging the Internet, and put on Bones or whatever.

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