#(I Cannot Believe I Am Actually Finishing This One I am Doing This for fUN OK I'll finish the rest Later but Anyway Koushiro Manifesto)

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

o.k I am a fan of bruce wayne/batman, so i would like you to write where bruce wayne has a short-size bossy assistant, reader who knew about his batman vigilante secret and he has a secret crush on him. She teased him, one day wearing a short skirt in a hot summer, made him want to bang her against the office table

The Proposal

So estastic to finally have a night off work, I enthusiastically hum while the evening news plays low in the background as I put the finishing touches on my look. Running my fingers through my long, soft, dark tresses, I twist left and right to asses my sultry outfit through the body length mirror on the wall of my bedroom. I do one spin, then another, smirking at the way my mini skirt barely covers my plump chocolate rear.

I cannot believe Bruce is actually gonna let me outta his sight for more than 2 seconds. It's a God damn miracle and I plan on shakin my ass with my girls all night while sippin the fruitiest dranks I can buy. That is till I hear my phone vibrate and beep from my vanity beside me, notifying me of an incoming text. Hmm.. Need I guess who the fuck that is? I roll my eyes as I grab my phone and see a text from Bruce Wayne tellin, not askin, me to come do his bidding.

Bruce: Hey, honey. Come by the office round 10 tonight and drop of the proposal we've been working on.

Seriously? It was my first night off in 2 weeks and here's comes the infamous Batman, swoopin in to destroy my plans. So, his sexy ass refuses to fuck me and release the tension from years of workin under him but not letting me actually be under him- yet commands I wait on him hand and foot.

My eyes almost tear up from the immediate disappointment and frustration I feel. Not being dicked down in over a year was making my need for a good fuck damn near animalistic. The concept of a fun evening with the possibility of gettin some dick, since Bruce's fine ass ignored each and every one of my filthy advances, is now completely ruined; makes me have to take a deep breath before I pick up my glitter encased cellphone.

Me: Whyyyy? This is the only night I have off for like another couple of weeks and I have plans. Can't you reschedule?

His response back is lighting fast and I can't help but give a small giggle as I imagine his sexy stern ass all frowned up, nostrils flaring at the prospect of me not givin in to his demands instantly. Bruce isn't the kinda man that likes to be told no. Plus, the proposal we'd recently been working on was imperative to the deal he was currently trying to close. Still, I wouldn't be me if I didn't turn into a full blown brat with him for impeding my plans.

Bruce: Late night meeting, no cannot reschedule. Also, thought you said you were staying home tonight..

Me: Omfg Bruce. My girls begged me to go out tonight so I changed my mind! Didn't know I had to goddamn call and let you know.

Jesus did this man have to always interrogate me on every aspect of my life? He knows everything about me- though it was fair to say I knew him almost as well as Alfred. And it was kinda exciting to secretly know about his extracurricular activities, even if that had less to do with any honesty on his part and more to do with my snoopy ass overhearing a heated conversation between him and his long time friend about hanging up the the towel.

Bruce: Well now you know, sweetheart. What time will you be here?

Condescending bastard! He really never has a doubt that he can bend me to his every whim and normally he fucking can but it's time to get a rile outta him.

Me: Well if I gotta cancel my plans to get some fuckin dick tonight then I think I'll take my sweet fuckin time!

His response isn't as quick this time but it's short enough to know I ticked him off. Serves him right, his 'I can't have you but nobody else can' attitude was tiring.

Bruce: You have 15 minutes.

I roll my eyes at his attempt to scare me as I pull up the Uber app and tap in his office's address. Before I can confirm I hear a firm knock on my apartments front door and Alfred's voice speaking loudly from the other side.

"Ms. y/l/n, Mr. Wayne has sent me to come get you. I've recently been updated that he's in no mood to be kept waiting."

Uh oh, perhaps I should've thought this through. I'm not sure how mad he is or what he'll say when he sees me and now I'm directly and knowingly heading into to the lions cage.

"Coming!" I yell back, grabbing the file from drawer and heading for the door.

30 mins later

I exit the elevator and quickly rush to the where Bruce waits for me, catching a glimpse of my reflection through the glass walls of the other conference rooms. I wish I had time to change the skimpy outfit adorning my frame, doing nothing to contain my juicy ass cheeks as I lightly jog to the room where the meetings being held.

I don't bother knocking, quickly entering the room silently. Walking up behind Bruce sitting like a king at the end of the table as he talks on his cellphone, leaning back lazily in his chair with spread legs. His hips flex in his crisp midnight blue suit as he readjusts himself in his seat. The hefty bulge between his legs draws my eyes for a hot second as he spins slowly in his chair to look at me.

It's as if in an instant he's hungry, eyes sharply roving over every inch of me as he licks his lips sensually. He openly stares at the way my mini skirt barely covers my bottom, how my sheer top does nothing to hide my puckered nipples. The loud expletive he groans out as he eyefucks me goes straight to my empty core, has my abandoned, untouched little hole fluttering as I start to get wet.

"Nah I'm good, stomache ache. Let them know who you're here for when you arrive and someone will let you up. We can go over the proposal and see if you agree to the terms."

Bruce hangs up and sets his phone on the long light brown table that stretches across the room as he looks at me slowly from head to toe; wide dark brown eyes that linger at my plump tits and curvy hips. His mouth open and closes a few times, his shoulders now tense as hell as he sits stiff in his seat and stares at my outfit.

"You really are a fuckin brat, you know that? Did I not fuckin tell you to be here in 15?" He snarls at me, quickly standing to grab the file from between my fingers and toss it next to his phone.

The aggressive action has me swiftly backing up, not being able to take more than few steps before my back hits the wall. Absolutely shocked at the way he stalks towards me, arm quickly stretching out to grip my throat. One of his thick eyebrows remain raised as he waits for me to respond.

"I'm sor- sorry, sir. Traffic-" I stutter out, voice low.

"Yeah the fuck right, dont gimme that bullshit. We both know you think you can say and do whatever the fuck you want with me and I'm not into that, sweetheart. Unless you count me enjoyin punishing your pretty ass for it." He tells me, leaning so close that the tips of our noses almost touch.

My heart pounds as his hand squeezes a bit firmer at my neck, the other smoothing down the side of my tits and torso to my hips and thick brown thighs. The bulky protrusion between his legs presses against my center, makin me weakly grasp at his suit jacket as I lewdly hump at him.

"You look so damn gorgeous rubbing against me like this. Almost distracts me from the fact that you left your house dressed like a fuckin whore."

The mean words and sharp smack to the inside of my thigh makes me yelp his name pathetically; has me spreading my legs as I try to fuck him through his clothing, already so damn close to beggin him to touch me. The sting of the slap is so welcoming, has my eyes and pussy simultaneously getting wet.

"Look at you, tiny little fuckin skirt.. Bet you woulda showed off all my fuckin curves tonight huh? Would done more than that. What didcha say earlier? You had plans to get some dick tonight?" He asks me, pressing me closer between him and the wall.

Bruce smells so fuckin good, the clean smell of a fresh shower and his Burberry cologne mixing deliciously. That plus the shock of his abrasive approach quickly culminates into wanton need. I can't care that I'm already rendered speechless, that I can only gasp for air like a fish outta water at his filthy words.

"You sure fuckin do. But now you wanna be quiet, cant even answer cause your slidin that little pussy allover my lap. Now you wanna act like your my good girl. Actin like your nothing more than my own little slut. Cant take you constantly goading me into fucking you whenever you see me. I can't goddamn take it anymore!"

He lets go of my throat to drop to his knees and lift my mini skirt up. Doesn't waste a second pulling my silky baby blue thong to the side and slurping at the opening of my pussy. I wail as he messily licks inside of me, his tongue jabbing repeatedly to get inside. Nails of both hands scratching at the wall behind me, I come unglued at the intense pleasure he suddenly forces on me.

"Plee- ahhh! P-pleeeeeea-se! Haah, uhnuhnuhnuhn Bru- ah!!" I stutter out my pleasure as I look down and meet his eyes.

The way he takes me in as he devours has me trembling even more against his mouth. As much as I need this, I'm too fucking sensitive. From the way Bruce stares as he eats me it's obvious he knows; is fucking using it to his advantage as his grips each of my ass cheeks and pulls me onto his mouth and fucks me with his tongue as deep as he can. His filthy moans about how good I taste but how bad I am are muffled against my cunt.

His right hand slides down my smooth brown skin, rubbing and groping my thick thighs. He sensually massages down my leg to my calf before slowly making his way back up to my clenched cheeks. A hard smack resonates through me and I shove upwards off his mouth from the impact. His answering growl as he pulls me backs down is clear: don't fucking pull away again.

"Toomuch! Ohohoh pleeeeeeease Bruce!"

He sends me into a blissful spiral, the intense sensation spiking in my core. I'm begging for the torture to end, for him to make me cum. But he only wiggles his tongue inside me widly as he moves his hands to my pussy lips and spreads them wider so he can get deeper.

My eyes must be at the back of my skull from the force of how they roll eye back. I wordlessly plead for reprieve, which he seems to only delight in. He chuckles heartily into the pink of me as he leers at my tits jiggling underneath my shirt.

I'm sure my souls about to rip out my body when I feel his thumb lightly swipe at my throbbing clit once. The tumultuous orgasm tumbling to the surface frightens me, has me seriously doubting my endurance to take it. So it's no fault of mine that I tug at my bosses short brown locks, ripping his swollen lips from my frantically pulsating pussy. He stares at me through narrowed eyes, his straight nose inna prominent snarl as I apologize profusely.

"Imsorryi'msorryi'msorry!" I rush out with heavy breaths and a heaving chest.

"No the fuck you're not, goddamn brat." He spits out as he stands and lifts me up against his strong chest with hands to the back of my thighs.

Walking me to the conference table, Bruce's sits me down atop it. He says nothing, towering above me as he looks down at while unbuckling his belt. His stare is lecherous while unbottoms his pants, so god damn domineering as he pulls out his twitching monster cock and presses it through the wetness between my legs.

It's not gonna fit, no way it'll fit. His dick is to thick, somehow his tip flaring out to become even wider. It's fuckin scary and thats without describing the girthy shaft. Still, I moan at the breathtaking feeling of him tappin the head at my opening. Even though my sweaty body is tense, my insides quiver rapidly hoping to catch his tip.

"I have a proposal for you too, y/n.." He leans in close to whisper against my lips, blocking me from the view of his fat cock at my entrance. "Your gonna take this dick like a good girl and I might not fuck your pretty little mouth and bust down your throat till your unconscious. You agree to the terms?"

I nod slowly, helplessly, my gaze briefly straying to his swollen mouth. Knowing how he ate me moments before and the way he damn near pins me to the table now that he's not letting me go till he's done.

"Look at you being a good girl for once." He compliments, smacking my sensitive clit with his rigid dick over and over.

My eyes roll back as I shout Bruce's name repeatedly, feeling my orgasm race back to the surface with double the intensity. My frame shakes like a leaf underneath him as my back arches and I dig my nails into the wood table beneath me. My mean ass boss only slaps his dick at my pulsing little gem quicker, drinking in my frantic reaction.

He greedily soaks in my pitiful body in the throes of the best orgasm I've ever received. The smile on his face is sinister, so damn dangerous as he replaces his dick with his thumb, sliding the head of his dick to my opening and shoving between my drenched, unprepared fluttering walls.

Time almost seems to stand still, as my lids fly open and I choke, trying and failing to pull in a gasping breaths against his pretty pink lips as he bullies his cock into my pussy while I'm still cumming. He groans like a wounded animal and I'm fucking alarmed that he actually gets in on the first push, though no explanation is needed for the unbearable pressure weighing in my gut.

My legs kick out behind him uncontrollably while I grip onto his suit jacket for dear life and stare at him with big teary eyes. Try as I might to inch off Bruce's cock by scooting backwards, I don't get very far before he's gripping me and pullin me back onto his leaking dick by my neck again.

"Keep. Fuckin. Still!"

Each word accentuated by him sliding in and out of my little hole. His other hand holds himself above me as he fucks into me roughly. My head thrashes side to side as I apologize nonstop. Hair from my two buns loosens and falls, sticking to the perspiration on my face.

"Oooooooh fuck, I can't believe I waited so loooong! Ah, ah, ah, pussyfeelssogood! Uhn, fuck y/n! Not gonna last, too damn tight.. so weeet! Haaaaah!"

His cock digs deep, finally in a bit more than half way as he pumps into me ferociously. It's so fuckin amazing, nothings ever felt so good, so intense. I light years beyond coherence as drool unknowingly seeps from the corner of my mouth as I share my pleasure into the air. All my strength is split between processing the sensations between my legs and breathing.

"Fuuuuuck, sweety.. Gonna make me nut so damn hard. You want that? Fill that pretty little pussy till I can't anymore?

Bruce's grip around my throat tightens and it's a bit hard to breath but my normal reaction of instant panic is delayed by the dizzy feeling filling my head. I'm unaware of the suffocating clenches my pussy gives the big dick invading my insides as he huffs and puffs his pleasure at my ear.

"Ooooh shit, your so perfecttome! Haaaa! Mmmm sweetheart, made for me huh? Uhn, thaaaas a good fuckin girl!"

His back hunches him over my body as he stabs in to the hilt, grinding his pelvis into mine as holds my seizing body to the table. The sudden unlimited pressure against my button sends me off; I take in as much air as I can unaware that my hips lightly hump back at him. Black and white spots dot in and out of my vision as the pressure in my tummy explodes through my battered cunt.

I squirt all over Bruce's suit, sliding my hands through his freshly cut hair down his neck to claw at his thick, muscular shoulders. His name is all I know as I desperately cry it out more times than I can count. No man has fucked to the point of tears and I'd tell him that if I could formulate sentences at the moment.

But I know he's in the same boat as his fingers loosen around my neck and he bites his lip hard, eyebrows drawn together from the way my pussy milks the cum from his cock.

"Oh heeell.. Fuuuuuuuuck, take it honey! Aaaaahhh, that's it, allforyouy/n! Take this nut like a gooooood giiiirrrrl!" He groans, eyes locked where we connect as he continuously pumps into me at his leisure.

It feels foreign but oh so fuckin welcoming as large splashes of cum gush my already soakin wet pussy. My needy insides clasp at Bruce's cock as if demanding he shoot more. He definitely fulfills his promise of stuffing my puffy cunt till she leaks.

"Mmmmm.. oh my fuckin God princess. You okay?" He asks between tiny grunts of pleasure, his hips still slowly pumping his cock into me.

I'm not sure how he expects me to answer; my lungs feel tight and my head is so fuzzy. I fight to steady my breathing, fingers remaining inna death grip around his shoulders. I finally feel the heavy trails of make up streaking down my chest and my wavy hair sticking to my sweaty temples. I know I looked fucked out to the max.

I can't even muster energy to cover myself as my head falls limply to the right and I see a group of men staring lewdly at us through the glass walls, each with a tented bulge in their business attire.

Bruce's phone beeps at that moment and he leans over slightly to read the text aloud.

"We agree to your terms of the proposal." He says with a dazzling smile.

Yeah, I fucking bet..

[these-posts-arent-real]

Clanblr dashboard simulator is back babye (part 1)

#yes i just finished part 1 #yes im already doing another one #this is really fun to me #hey btw when the follow button is "missing" it isnt missing. #that's your mutuals

0 notes

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

I miss leaf-bareeeeee... my long-haired ass CANNOT with this weather

#shorthairs please dont reblog with "actually i think the warm weather is nice" #then this post isn't for you #robbbinposts

3 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

I'm trnasgender

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Happy 6 moon anniversary to the time I butchered what was supposed to be my cool, unexpected coming-out with a spelling error

🔥 b-b-b-blaaazr Follow

At least the typo wasnt in your url dude

Also. The coming out wasnt unexpected. At all. We all knew.

#fuck you blaze #"we all knew" yeah maybe because i posted about how i wished i was a tom 10 times a day #whacking uou on the head with my manly paws

204 notes

🔁 🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Happy bday to @lionsight-x3, my beloved mutual! Cant imagine life without you

🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow

AGHJHHHH THANK YOUUU ILY SO MUCH LILY <3

#Was honestly having a TERRIBLE birthday until I saw this. #Love you so much Lilystem.

3 notes

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

Am I the only one who didnt know that @ex-thunderclan-kipper is a kittypet??

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

His whole blog, including his url, is based around the fact that he's ex-clan... how are you just now finding this out...

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

I just followed for the wood-scratching art..

#didnt realize he was a kittypet #:/

17 notes

🦢 gentlesong-momof17 Follow

Kits are having their apprentice ceremony tomorrow... can't believe they're all grown up. At least my next litter is due in a moon!!

#momlife #queen #leaving the nursery #mom life #nursery queen #perm queen #perm queen life #permanent queen #permanent queen life

1 note

🔁 🪺 robbbinpaw Follow reblogged

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Im actually gonna die

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Sorry guys forgot to specify. My assessment is tomorrow. So like. My mentor is gonna decide if I get to become a warrior or not. Im freaking out

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

Wait. Youre an apprentice still??

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

Ya? My bio says 11 moons- how old did you think I was?

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

WHAT????

I thought you were 21 moons old! Last time I read your bio was 2 days ago and I swear I thought it said 21!??

#moose ive been thinking you were 21 this whole time #cant believe youre only a moon older than me #this is surreal #robbblogs

50 notes

🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow

Im on transblr and I keep mixing @l1llyst3m up with @carnation-stem-02... they look nothing alike and post about completely different things I think it's just the (flower)stem names

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

This is extra funny to me considering Lily and I actually became mutuals due to a similar mix-up (someone tagged her where they meant to tag me) but I for the life of me cannot understand how nobody takes one look at our blogs and never makes that mistake again.

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

To the cats in the notes saying "but you're both trans, it's confusing" guys. We arent even the same flavor of gender...

#shes transfemme #im agender #why is this even a source of confusion #we dont even go by the same pronouns..

2,702 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

Uh... hello?? I think Im on the wrong site... what in the name of StarClan is... Tumblr...

[bellaxgiornata]

Honestly I cannot believe that I've been on tumblr for just over a year now and somehow there's already so many of you wonderful people here that are reading, enjoying, and supporting my silly little fics. When I jumped over here from AO3, I had not anticipated how much fun I was going to have getting to chat with all of y'all while also sharing my stories with those of you who aren't on AO3. I've definitely made some wonderful friends this past year because of tumblr and I just want to say thank you to everyone for the support. I always mean it when I say y'all are the reason I keep writing these stories 💖

I could certainly get sappier but instead I'll just invite y'all to join me for my first ever celebration! There's a few fun things below the cut that y'all can pop up with in my ask box starting today May 3 through Wednesday May 8! I tried to think of some interesting things that I could realistically make time to do with everything currently going on in my life, especially because I'm also still trying to stockpile rough drafts for many of my stories so that I can still have updates during my upcoming "writing hiatus" (that I'll explain more about later). My plan is to answer things as they come in and hopefully have them all finished shortly after the celebration ends. And once the celebration finally ends, I'm hoping to give y'all an update to a story or a one shot!

Hopefully this will be fun for everyone!

Let's Chat! - Feel free to send me an ask about anything at all! No, seriously. You want to tell me about your day? An upcoming vacation or exciting accomplishment of yours? Do it! Or maybe you want to ask me questions about one of my stories or my writing process? Hell, feel free to ask me about myself, chat about coffee, music, books, pets, whatever!

Discuss Headcanons with Me! - Have any headcanons about Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, or Michael Kinsella that you want to chat about or share with me? Send them in! Or are you interested in a headcanon I might have about one of them in a certain situation? Feel free to ask! We can chat about the boys!

Send Me Fake FFTD Installment Titles! - Create a title name for an installment for my Falling for the Devil series (ex. "The [insert title]") and I'll write a couple of sentences about what I could picture that installment being about! You win bonus points if you can actually stump me on coming up with a plot for your title. But also who knows, maybe some title suggestions could spark an idea for future updates...

Let's Play a Game! - We can play would you rather, have you ever, or fuck/marry/kiss (or kill). For the record, f/m/k can be with anyone from Daredevil, Punisher, Defenders, Kin, or even any of Charlie's characters that I'm familiar with (Matt, Michael, Owen, Henry, Tristan, or Adam) or those of Jon's that I'm familiar with (mainly Frank, Shane, or Julian). If you can think of another game feel free to play it with me!

Ask the Boys! - Do you enjoy my weird internal dialogues with fictional characters that probably make me sound crazy? Great! Feel free to send me an ask to either one or all of the fictional men that live in my head (Matt, Frank, and/or Mikey) and I'll relay whatever they respond with in something of a short internal dialogue!

Request a Sneak Peak! - Since I have been stockpiling quite a few WIPs and rough drafts for a couple of months now, I am open to y'all just requesting a sneak peak. If you do, I will share a snippet from a fic I choose at random from something that's either a fully finished rough draft or still a work in progress!

**You're more than welcome to participate multiple times, but all I ask is that you (1) send things in separate asks, (2) are not rude to me or anyone else, and (3) are 18+ to discuss anything spicy (this is an 18+ blog anyway so I'd hope everyone here already is).**

[sangoqueenkoko]

KAVEH

"how do you become accidentally married?" …part 2.

fluff

DENDRO MASTERLIST | DRABBLE MASTERLIST

Drabble prompt: page 1: #8 = "how do you become accidentally married?"

Warnings? Mentions of alcohol in general and of what could be blood (but it's actually red wine). Pet names mentioned (Honey, my Love).

Contains a mention of Alhaitham, slight mention of Nahida, and Kaveh of course!

1k words.

Here’s a part 2 no one asked for! @groovyparadisestarlight and @udretlnea sort of did

i wonder if this one will blow up like the first part…

‘Because he cannot remember what happened the night before.’

These are the events that lead up to the day after.

In a far corner of Lambard's Tavern sat you with a cup of the Taverns, in the words of Kaveh, “best wine one has ever tasted.” You were waiting for him to show up after a meeting with a surprisingly easy client. You would buy his drinks for him today as a treat for his good mood. As you don’t want to burden him any further than he already could be.

After you had finished a quarter of your first glass — as you didn’t want too drink to much before the occasion had even begun — Kaveh came bursting in, luckily it wasn’t so crowded just yet. So he didn’t disturb many people with his sudden appearance. Many.

He looked around the main room before spotting you and quickly making his way over, “(Y/N)! Great! You’re here!” He smiled as he sat opposite you. After he gave you a kiss on the cheek though. It was always a sweet gesture from him to you.

And him to you, only.

Anyway.

“So how was the meeting with the client?” You asked as you rested your chin on the back of your hand, gazing across the table at him. The question only made him more… happier than he was a literal second ago.

“Oh, right! Well, the client loved what I had in mind! He said that what I had thought and designed what exactly what he had in mind too! We saw eye to eye,” He exclaimed with a genuine grin before taking a quick sip of wine from the cup that you had poured for him, “and get this. He also said that he will help with most of the cost of it!! Can you believe it?!” He stood up with his hands on the table. You were genuinely happy for him, it’s the happiest you’ve seen him in a while.

“Wow! That’s great, Honey! And I am glad to see that smile of yours again.”

As the day went on, you ordered a few more drinks and a meal because why not? It’s a good occasion. More people came in and went. Locals and travellers. Speaking of travellers, a travelling bard from Mondstadt made a pit stop in Sumeru and tried playing their music, which was a hit. It was much different to what locals in Sumeru are accustomed to.

Faster pace, more upbeat, more… joyous. Lively. Something that was worth dancing to.

Evening came and the bard was back, they brought more people off the streets inside to dance. As that’s what a lot of people were doing already. Singing local songs and ones from other nations.

At this point, the two of you were a little drunk, ones with the vibes. It was the end of the week, so it was so worth it.

“Care to dance with me, m’dear?” Kaveh asked as he stood and offered a hand to you with a bow, the other behind his back. Looking into his eyes you would see the same kind, caring being he is, the only difference was that you saw more love and adoration in his eyes for you. You and only you.

“Of course, my Love!” You smiled as you held his hand and stood up.

The evening was… a bizarre blur. A lot of drinks, like different types of wine. Lots of singing with everyone in the tavern, and of course dancing. You vividly being on top of a table with Kaveh, and him spinning you around at some point. Though the owners didn’t do anything about it, I’m assuming that they didn’t mine it. Everyone had fun.

A little too much fun to be honest, to the point that The Corps of Thirty came in and closed down the tavern for the night as it was even quite loud and the sounds where quite brash on the main high street itself. Disrupting the peace.

But even after that, neither you or Kaveh wanted to go home. Even if it was best because of how drunk you two were.

But somehow, the pair of you traversed to the Sanctuary of Surasthana, and made it in one peace, where the Lesser Lord herself would be. During the nights, she would occasionally walk around the city to appreciate it in peace, and you so happened to come across her here.

Kaveh spoke to her and had the idea to ask her to officiate something and be the key witness for the occasion. And of course she agreed. Upon her asking what it was, Kaveh would say, in a heartbeat – yet drunkenly confident – “I want to marry this lovely being here” he pulled you closer, “(Y/N). (M/N). (L/N). The love of my life!”

She didn’t care what time it was, neither did you two.

The Lesser Lord herself, and the guards, served as your witnesses.

It wasn’t exactly how someone would want to be married, but to be married by a God herself? You better count that as a blessing for a bright future.

But the Goddess didn’t want something happening to the newly weds as you made you ways back down from the Sanctuary. So she escorted you both herself back home.

She granted you the sweetest of dreams for that night, and she knew that neither of you would regret the decision. Even she knew how close you two were.

It was about 2am when you got back to Kaveh’s shared house with Alhaitham. And surprisingly, you didn’t wake him up. Even if he sleeps like dead weight.

You stumbled onto the bed first, then did Kaveh. No type of intimacy was shared, apart from some loving words and light kisses. All before you both passed out asleep.

Let’s forget the red wine stains and glasses in the living room for now.

Just how will you explain this to Alhaitham later on?

So this is how you become accidentally married.

I ran out of steam towards the end. Sorry.

[yuri-is-online]

You Simple Vile Monstrosity: Rook and the Flowers of Evil

My other two dumb history posts have at least a semblance of fun fact to them, but this is mostly going to be literary analysis and some theory. There's some interesting stuff here sure, but I don't really think it adds much to the overall landscape of twst theories. But it does make Rook make more sense to me so I am making this post anyway.

So without further ado, if you are like me and enjoy reading twst theories, you might know that the beginning lines of Twisted Wonderland are something we have been debating the meaning of since the game came out really. While I think we have been closing in on their true meaning as Chapter 7 progresses along, the phrase "Flowers of Evil" can actually refer to something specific: a french poetry collection of the same name (Les Fleurs du mal in french) by a poet name Charles Baudelaire originally published in 1857. The collection was extremely controversial, but today it is highly lauded and has inspired several other literary works, including a manga series by Shūzō Oshimi of the same name. I found out about the poetry collection while working on this request and finally finished reading it... and another essay by Baudelaire for reasons we can talk about later on in the post. For now let's talk poetry.

Beauté! 100 Points!

I don't speak french, so I read an English translation done by Aaron Poochigian that does contain the original french text in the back half of the book. The Flowers of Evil is split into seven-ish parts: The Flowers of Evil (just containing "To the Reader"), Spleen and the Ideal, Parisian Scenes, Wine, Flowers of Evil (again but with 12 poems this time), Revolt, and then Death. The sections are more or less organized by the subject of the poems, Spleen and the Ideal is the largest with Baudelaire musing over what the ideal concept of beauty is while Wine deals with getting drunk (on wine mostly if you can believe it.) One of the things that jumps out very quickly about Baudelaire's work is that his concept of beauty is almost synonymous with his concept of evil. He writes a lot about maggots eating corpses, about decay, he has a few poems that talk about vampires appearing to be the highest form of beauty but really being husks of rotted flesh; it's all very much about this acceptance that evil is a part of life and human nature, so therefore there must be beauty in it. The concept of "ideal beauty" must by it's nature be divorced from the concept of "morality." When Rook talks about the potential for Leona or Malleus to kill him and how beautiful that would be, I think he means the act of destruction itself would be beautiful. The circumstances surrounding it and the consequences of it are irrelevant to the concept; this is also why while he initially says he cannot find the crimson lotuses in GloMas beautiful Deuce accuses him of doing just that after everything is said and done. He cannot find beauty in Rollo's actions, but the visual and the fight are beautiful because of the effort he and the other students put in to stop them. And perhaps most importantly, it's why he is willing to drink Vil's poison and look upon what is supposedly ultimate ugliness and say "In this moment you are the fairest of them all." Because how could an act born out of such raw and genuine emotion be anything but?

Le Chasseur D'Armour, The Hunter of Love

Baudelaire wasn't just a poet, he fancied himself a critic and wrote multiple essays, the one I read for this post is The Painter of Modern Life. Which is actually a collection of several but they are all related, and I was directed to them by this wordpress post. In it, Baudelaire muses over how things can be both beautiful and ugly, and why:

"Beauty is made up of an eternal, invariable element, whose quantity it is excessively difficult to determine, and of a relative, circumstantial element... which severally or all at once, the age, its fashions, its morals, its emotions."

He was talking about fashion plates that depicted outdated costumes, but his point was more or less that if you strictly look at the design of the costume they look ridiculous: ugly. But when you take into account their historical value (these particular plates were all from the around the time of the French revolution) they become exceedingly important: beautiful. He also mentions in this same essay the importance of not just taking into account the opinions of so called "masters" and sneers at people who think they understand what is beautiful just because they have seen a painting done by a professional:

"... to declare that Raphael, or Racine, does not contain the whole secret, and that minor poets too have something good, solid and delightful to offer... that we might love general beauty, as it is expressed by classical poets and artists, we are no less wrong to neglect particular beauty, the beauty of circumstance and the sketch of manners."

In chapter 5, while helping Vil judge the auditions for VDC, Rook gives every audition 100 points because, well, in his mind they are all an example of perfect beauty specifically because they are the work of amateurs, and that is no less valuable to him or less worthy of praise that the work of the master. Now granted he clearly does value professional quality (he did have reasons for voting for Neige other than being a massive simp. Valid ones even if loosing does sting) but that's only in the context of strict rules and guidelines. When Rook is asked for his opinion, while he certainly does believe there is an absolute, academic definition beauty, he doesn't place any value on where that beauty comes from. Baudelaire muses over how human life "accidentally" puts mysterious beauty into the world, and the true appreciator of beauty must make himself not strictly a poet but:

"...an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it... For most of us... the fantastic reality of life has become singularly diluted. [But he] never ceases to drink it in; his eyes and memories are full of it."

I strongly dislike suggesting in these posts that xyz is "the definitive reason" for why a character acts the way that he does, but I do think it is very interesting how well this describes Rook's ethos. He thinks of himself as a hunter, but in order to do that he needs to observe. Sure he takes it to exceptionally extreme lengths, but it makes him one of the most lively members of the NRC cast. Baudelaire is right, there are a million things about life we miss on a day to day basis wherein true beauty lies, but Rook sees all of it. His eyes, memories, camera, and secret photo albums are fit to burst with it.

My Noble and Beautiful Flower of Evil

I mentioned the opening text at the beginning of this post, and I stand by my interpretation that the phrase "flower of evil" it uses likely is not a specific reference to any of the poems themselves... beyond the obvious note that it is a collection of poems about finding beauty in, well, evil and most of the characters are based off of villains.

But there was something that started gnawing at me when I read the introduction to my translation, which was written by a poet named Dana Gioia. It was a very well written summary of Baudelaire's life and the significance of his work, but it mentioned a connection that I have seen brought up in twst theorizing before: Edgar Allen Poe.

You see, Baudelaire was obsessed with Poe. To the point that (according to the introduction) "He considered Poe a sacred martyr for art and referred to him as 'Saint Edgar.' In his morning devotions, Baudelaire prayed first to God and then to Poe."

I have nothing to say on that (because really what could you) but the point that Gioia wanted to make in that introduction was that Poe had a massive influence on Baudelaire's writing style. He wrote multiple essays on his work and translated them into French because he felt like Poe deserved the recognition, so while Gioia used this to argue that Poe's influence on Baudelaire shouldn't be underestimated...

I can't find the post, but someone was talking about how Malleus's mother's name Meleanor is very similar to "Lenore" and I recall people sort of brushing that connection off. I don't that name is a coincidence. I think the poem "Lenore" might very well have been something thought about when constructing her character, and that the themes in Poe's work might be very relevant to the overall story of Twisted Wonderland.

Something about ravens and telltale hearts just feels like they fit; maybe we have got it all wrong and Yuu's visions aren't coming from the mirror in Ramshackle, but the floorboards.

Semi- Unrelated Fun Facts:

If you read the name Baudelaire and thought to yourself it sounded familiar, you might have be thinking of the Baudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events. This isn't exactly a coincidence as the author of the series admits to his writing being heavily influenced by Charles Baudelaire to the point he actually wrote the afterword to the translation I own.

Dana Gioia is the former Poet Laureate of the state of California, something that deeply confused me. Apparently the Governor of California appoints someone to a 2 year term and they travel around the state to promote poetry and literacy which is apparently something that 46/50 U.S. states and D.C. does to????

My glorious motherland of Pennsylvania is not one of these states, apparently we only ever appointed one, then eliminated the position entirely after he retired, and then started just. Handing out ones to people in individual cities and counties. Which is so par for the course here I don't know why I am surprised.

One of the first things any college level literature course will try to drill into you is that you don't examine the life of an author when examining their work. It might sound silly, but I think Baudelaire is a great example of why that's important. The man was addicted to drugs and sex, refused to get a "real job", lived off his inheritance from his wealthy father and eventually whatever money he could convince his mother to send him his entire adult life, and had her use her political connections to bail him out of legal trouble multiple times.

If I thought too hard about that it would make his lines in "Skeleton Laborers" (Nothingness is treacherous.//Even Death is a deceiver.//Alas, forever and ever,//work may be awaiting us) fall terribly flat, which I think does them a disservice. The man was very talented and I am glad he wrote them because I felt very seen when I read them.

Baudelaire opened his publication with a note to the reader, but he made it a full poem entitled "To the Reader." I liked the ending stanza so much I used a version of it to title my blog, and eventually my current masterlist: (Boredom! Moist-eyed, he dreams, while pulling on//a hookah pipe, of guillotine-cleft necks.//You, reader, know this tender freak of freaks-//hypocrite reader-mirror-man-mytwin!)

Likewise the title of this post is also taken from part of a poem, "Hymn to Beauty" (Beauty, you simple, vile monstrosity,//I cannot care about your origin,//provided that your gaze, smile, feet show me//a sweet infinity I have never known.) I think that fits Rook's ideals rather well, don't you?

[cringefail-hermitry]

I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.

It's gonna be a long one

Like, *LONG* long

Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)

First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.

I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.

Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.

@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.

So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").

Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.

The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.

Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.

Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.

@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!

@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.

Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.

Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)

@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.

@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.

Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.

And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).

This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.

[cat3ch1sm]

Hello! Hope you're doing well! This is my first time requesting, so here goes:

Could you please write headcanons for Agni, Soma, and Pavitr finding out that reader is learning Hindi and then helping them practice and encouraging them? I know Pav is from a different source media, so if you're not okay with that, just Soma and Agni is more than okay, I'll be happy just the same ^^

Thanks a lot ♡

🏹~ this is such a cute request! no worries if your request features different characters from different medias, it doesn’t matter to me! i will happily write it nonetheless. thanks for your request, @bell-of-indecision , and your patience as well as your support. ily 💚 to my other readers, your requests are in the works! <33

●∘◦❀◦∘● gn!reader

𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐢, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐚, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐫 + 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢 💚

𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐢

agni is thrilled to find out that you want to learn hindi. he takes a lot of pride in his language and his culture, so when he discovers that you want to engage in it as well, he is happy to share it with you.

however, he’s a serious teacher. agni takes your education seriously, like it’s an actual class. even though you just wanted to learn hindi for fun and mostly to make him happy, agni makes sure you’re disciplined in learning it. you have lessons almost every day without fail, and he assigns you little quizzes and gives you homework assignments every day as well. you even have tests for agni to assess your knowledge so he knows exactly what to correct you on. truthfully it is exhausting, but agni doesn’t believe in letting you quit. you said you wanted to learn Hindi so damn it he’s going to make sure you do.

agni is just as gentle as he is strict, though. whenever you mess something up he quickly cuts you off and points out your mistake, and will carefully explain why it’s wrong and what the correct answer is. he isn’t like those teachers who snap at you for getting things wrong. whenever you pass a test he gives you, he’ll think of little rewards for you to receive later in order to keep you motivated. agni also emphasizes the importance of getting proper rest, so even if he has given you assignments, if you don’t finish them he doesn’t force you to stay up if you’re tired or sick. if you bring him an unfinished assignment the next lesson, agni will simply go through whatever you didn’t finish with you. agni is really encouraging as well, and whenever you get frustrated he’s quick to cheer you up and remind you of your goal.

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐚

soma thinks it’s really sweet that you want to learn Hindi, and volunteers immediately to help you learn! is it an excuse to show of something that he finally does better than you? perhaps… but it also an excuse to spend more time with you? maaaaaybe…

unfortunately, he’s a seventeen-year-old kid who turns out to not be the best teacher. soma’s method of teaching you is literally just speaking fluent hindi and making exaggerated gestures to you- more like at you- and somehow expecting you to figure out what he’s saying. also, he gets kind of frustrated easily- he definitely doesn’t have the same level of patience as agni does, but he has twice the ego- so most of your ‘lessons’ with him go along these lines:

“*insert soma speaking fluent hindi*”

“soma, i have no idea what you’re saying.”

*cue flabbergasted look from soma* “what do you mean? i made gestures in order to show to you what i meant.”

“i… don’t think that’s how that works. i just started learning, soma. how about you look at the books i’m studying and see if you can help me with the lessons the book gives me?”

*slightly annoyed expression from soma* “but i am the one who fluently speaks hindi. this book cannot speak at all!” *dramatically closes book* “if you simply listen and pay attention closely, i am sure you will soon be as good as i am.”

“but you were born in india. you’ve been speaking hindi since birth. i can’t possibly reach your level that quickly… i don’t see why you can’t just help me with the book that starts with the basics-”

“oh! then why do i even bother?” *dramatically stands up* “i see you have chosen a mere book over your dearly beloved friend. so be it, my friend- so be it.” (imagine him delivering this as if he was some soap opera character who just was betrayed. yeah, he’s really over the top.)

eventually agni steps in and convinces a sulking soma that he needs to be more patient with you because you’re no expert- and more importantly set aside his ego. soma will realize the error in his ways and again decide to help teach you. of course, something similar to the above conversation usually takes place during your lessons in the beginning, but every time soma gets more patient. soon he’s actually pretty good at teaching you, and soma realizes that he genuinely enjoys watching you progress in your learning. he’s also super thrilled whenever you translate something correctly or memorize words right. the amount of impatience he had earlier is the same amount of pride he feels whenever he successfully teaches you something. you guys both start to genuinely look forward to hindi lessons together.

𝐩𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐫

pavitr, like the other two, is happy to hear that you’re interested in learning his native language, and he’s quick to volunteer as your teacher. although to be honest, he isn’t the most patient either. he tries, he really does, and it’s not like he gets genuinely mad or anything, but why would you say chai tea when it’s literally just chai that’s like saying tea tea like what the fuck man

alright, i swear that’s the only time i’ll make a chai tea joke because it physically pains me how much the atsv fandom dickrides that damn joke. but anyways pavitr is a genuinely good teacher besides the slight lack of patience. but it is slight. he’s really encouraging and makes sure you don’t get down on yourself when you make a mistake. pav is insistent, though, that you don’t miss any lessons. his schedule is already unpredictable, but he knows that you are serious about learning hindi and he wants to help you achieve that goal. so pav wants you to show up to your lessons that he schedules because he isn’t sure of when he can schedule another one.

although here’s something funny that i totally think pav would do: if you’re both spider-people on a mission together, he’ll give you quizzes on what you’ve studied with him so far as you guys are literally like swinging in the air above literal skyscrapers and flying over hundreds of people. just imagine this:

*whizzing by you* “hey, y/n! quick- what’s hello and goodbye in Hindi?”

*flipping in the air* “namaste!”

*running up a building* “very good! now what’s good morning in hindi?”

*running right behind pav* “shub prabhat?”

“great!” *throws himself off building and glides through the air* “now what is ‘phir melenge’ in english?”

*shooting webs onto walls, almost misses one* “shit! um, is it see you later?”

“careful with the webs!” *flying through the air* “and what’s tea in hindi?”

“…chai.” (okay that’s the last time ever i swear.)

“you’ve got it now!”

[madneedshelp]

You Make Loving Fun - Warren Rojas x FReader

Summary: You weren’t really a relationship girl. Sure, you had no problems with some fun and this was the era of free love, but you preferred to keep things as just fun. So, when your friend introduces you to the drummer in her band, why does he make you want to change this rule so badly?

Warnings: implied sex, recreational drug and alcohol use, adult language

“Karen, I swear I cannot get drunk tonight! I have a shoot tomorrow and I cannot be hungover. No drugs either, they make me sloppy in the morning.” You warned, looping an arm through your friend’s.

She tilted back her head in a laugh. “I promise to keep an eye on you, party pooper. You’ve got to have a little fun, though.”

“Of course I will, I just don’t want to mess up this gig. I’ve worked so hard and things are too fucking competitive out here. I will do my best to loosen up a little bit, though.” You gave her a grin that mirrored her own. 

Karen was one of the few good friends you had out in LA. You came out here to pursue modeling after you were scouted soon after high school, and you’d spent the past couple years working hard at it. Not to brag, but you were doing alright for yourself. You were grabbing a drink with some coworkers of yours, which you had to admit were a little insufferable and bitchy, when you met Karen. 

Now here you were, at a party thrown by Karen’s new band. The Six seemed like cool people, Karen definitely liked them better than her previous bandmates, so that made them okay in your book. She was right though, you did need to relax a little bit. This party might’ve been just what you needed. 

“Everyone, this is my good friend, YN. Y/N, that’s Graham, Warren, Eddie, Billy, and Billy’s lovely wife Camila.” Karen announced to the group. 

You exchanged pleasantries with everyone before more people started arriving and the group dispersed. It wasn’t long before Karen drifted off to talk to Graham and you decided maybe one drink wouldn’t be the end of the world. Loosen up, you told yourself. 

“Hey, Y/N, I’m Warren.”

You jumped a bit as you finished pouring yourself a glass of wine, startled by the immediate presence of a curly-haired man. 

“Oh, hi, and I remember.” You chuckled as you turned to face him. He was cute, in a playful way. He seemed genuinely happy, which was something a lot of aspiring musicians these days didn’t exude.

“So, Karen tells us you’re a model, that’s pretty cool.” He gave you a nervous grin.

You nodded. “Indeed I am. It’s not as glamorous as it looks all the time, though.”

He leaned against the table, very obviously trying to be flirty. “Well, I’m sure if it’s you doing it, it looks plenty glamorous.”

That earned a laugh from you. He was funny. And actually quite attractive, you decided. “What else has Karen told you about me?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, she might have told us that you can be a little stuffy.”

A shocked expression took over your face. “Did she really? Wow. That hurts.” 

“I didn’t say I believed her.” Warren shrugged. 

“No, she’s kind of right. I’ve been working a lot lately and my agents have me under a pretty strict routine. That’s why I came tonight, to have some fun.” Your lips turned up in a sly smile. A rush of satisfaction flooded through you as Warren’s eyes traveled down to your lips. Two could play at this little flirty game he had started.

Suddenly, Karen showed up with Graham and Eddie in tow. “Hey, we’re going to go smoke out back. Do you two want to join us?”

You considered for a moment. If you stopped drinking now and only stuck to some weed, you’d probably be okay in the morning. “Sure, I’m in.”

“Really?” Karen looked pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah, apparently someone is spreading the rumor that I’m ‘stuffy’ and I can’t have that circulating.” You sent her a playful glare. 

“Well, you heard the lady, let’s go.” Warren grinned. 

About an hour later, the five of you sat out back in a comfortable haze. Karen and Graham had gotten surprisingly touchy with each other, and Eddie seemed hilariously out of it. You found yourself sneaking numerous glances at Warren. Weed made you a little horny sometimes, which you probably should’ve considered before agreeing to this. 

Luckily for you, Warren was also sneaking glances. You could tell the wanting feeling between you two was mutual. 

Before long, Karen and Graham slipped away, and Eddie wasn’t long to follow. That left you and Warren alone. 

“So,” He sat up beside you in the chair you two shared. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah, I really did.” You gave him a lazy smile. “How about you?”

“Me too, but I have fun all the time.” Warren chuckled . 

An easy smile played on his lips and you found yourself staring. He did radiate this comforting sort of vibe…honestly, he radiated fun. You weren’t sure at what point you started leaning toward him, but he had leaned in too. 

Before you knew it, his lips were locked on yours and you had your hands entwined in his mess of dark curls. He gave you a chance to break the kiss, just in case it wasn’t what you wanted, but you didn’t. You only kissed him back hungrier. 

Everything about kissing Warren was thrilling. It felt like light speed, but also as though the minutes had dragged into hours. At some point, he’d shifted you into his lap to where you were straddling him and his hands drifted comfortably to your hips. 

“We could…take this upstairs to my room. If you want to.” He whispered breathily into your ear.

“Sorry, I only fuck guitarists.” You whispered back with a joking smirk.

“Shit, I guess Graham will have to give me some lessons then.” He let out a raspy chuckle that sent a flutter of warmth through you. 

You kissed him again, with the same passion resuming almost immediately. “I suppose I could make an exception this once.”

– – – – – – – – – – 

You were still grinning as you tugged your dress back on. Coming to this party had definitely been the right decision. 

“You don’t have to leave now, you know,” Warren murmured from the bed. 

All giddiness faded from you immediately. You never stayed. Relationships were messy and stressful. Your work was stressful enough for you, so you tended to keep your personal life more casual. 

“I should go, I have a shoot pretty early in the morning.” You didn’t look at him as you put your heels back on. 

He was silent for a beat. “Well, could I call you sometime?”

The pit in your stomach only deepened. You felt guilty at the tinge of rejection in his voice. There was something else too, though, but you couldn’t quite put a name on this other feeling. 

“Warren, listen, I’m not exactly looking for a relationship right now. I’m sorry.” You grimaced, unable to make eye contact. Normally, you didn’t have to do this part because most guys didn’t question things when you left right after.

“Could I call you if we don’t make this a relationship thing?” 

You didn’t really do repeats either. That bordered too close to attachments usually, but something in your gut made you nod. Deep down, you kind of wanted to see him again. 

“Yeah, I think that would be okay.” You said hesitantly. 

After writing down your number, you slipped out the door and went to find the exit. As you sat in the cab on the way home, you realized that the odd feeling you couldn’t name earlier was longing. A part of you had wanted to stay with him. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you trusted that part of you. 

– – – – – – – – – –

You and Warren jokingly liked to call each other sex friends. It was a fairly accurate label, to be completely honest. Yeah, the arrangement started off as a sex thing, but you found that you had actually gotten to know him over the past few months and you enjoyed his company. 

Karen brought you along to a decent amount of band functions if you were off work, since your schedule was patchy sometimes. You enjoyed the extra time you got to spend with her, but you didn’t hate seeing Warren more too. 

You and Karen were lounging on some chairs in the studio one afternoon while you waited for the rest of the band, who were almost all usually always late. 

“Why aren’t you with Warren?” Karen asked out of the blue. 

“Why aren’t you with Graham?” You returned.

She sighed and stared off at the wall. “You know why. I love my work, and I’ll never be the woman that wants to settle down. I don’t want to give this up, and being with him would require that of me in the end.”

You shrugged. “Same for me. Work comes first.” Karen considered your words for a moment, and you could tell she didn’t quite believe you. “Just say what you’re thinking.”

“I think that for me, my work makes me happy, and this is the life that’ll make me happiest. If that’s true for you, I respect that one hundred percent, but I don’t think your work makes you happy like I’m happy.” You were about to protest, but she stopped you. “No, listen, I’m not saying you need to be with Warren to be happy. That’s not it. I’m just saying that you should really consider if this lifestyle is what you truly want in the long run.” 

God, you hated when she was right about things. You couldn’t even challenge her because while it may not have been what you wanted to hear, there was some truth to them. Did you want to spend forever just working and going home to an empty apartment? Hell, it’s not like modeling is a career that lasts forever. Did you really want to pour your whole life into a career that would be done with you before the next decade was up?

“And for the record, I do think you look happy with him. He definitely is happier with you. I’m not trying to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, I’m just saying that, for the record, that’s what it looks like.” She added and gave you a small smile. 

You couldn’t go into the Warren spiral again. Not now. Your mind had been drifting there all too often lately. 

“I think I need to go.” You mumbled and grabbed your purse. 

Karen stood up with you and put a hand on your arm. “Hey, please don’t. I didn’t want to make you angry, I just thought you needed to hear it. Please stay.”

“I’m not mad, Karen. I’m just frustrated that you’re right, so I think I need to be alone to do some thinking, okay? I’ll call you tonight.” You grabbed her hand and gave it a quick reassuring squeeze before you headed for the parking lot. 

The universe, it seemed, had shitty timing. Keys in hand, tears starting down your face, you opened the door and ran straight into Warren himself. 

“Hey, Y/N, what’s…wait, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” The smile that formed upon your appearance quickly faltered from his face. 

You shook your head, not wanting to deal with any of it right then. “I’m fine, Warren. I’m just going home.”

But he couldn’t just let you leave. No, you had to pick one of the most decent guys in LA to be in a situationship with. He didn’t move from his spot in front of the door. “I don’t think you’re fine, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to drive yourself home like this.”

“Dammit, Warren, why do you fucking care!?” The words were harsh and you didn’t really want to say them, but they slipped out anyway. 

“Because I care about what happens to you. I just, I don’t know, I just care about you, okay?” He kept his voice calm.

“I didn’t ask that of you.”

“I know, but I can’t help it.”

You let out a shaky laugh. “The funny thing is, I didn’t want to date anybody because I didn’t want the distractions and complications, but here we are. Here I am. I’m a fucking mess. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t want to love you because apparently I don’t get to decide those things myself.”

He looked stunned for a moment. “You love me?”

“Yeah, Warren, I do.”

“Can I tell you that I love you too, or is this a bad time for that?” 

That mustered a weak chuckle from you. He always could make you laugh, even from the beginning. 

It really hit you then. Loving Warren wasn’t this painful, terrible thing. It was passionate, and warm, and fun, and it felt good. Maybe it wasn’t in your plan to love someone, but you hadn’t met Warren when you decided that for yourself. Love didn’t have to tear you apart, it could be a thing to keep you together. 

“No, I want you to tell me. Please.” You sniffled, looking up at him through your teary eyes as a fresh wave of tears were about to ensue. These were the happy kind of emotional tears, though. 

“I love you. I’ll love you for as long as you’ll let me.” Warren said softly.

He bent down and kissed you then, and as he did, you got the feeling that you would let him love you for a very long time. 

[docholligay]

Dr. Holligay Tries Things That Aren't Running: Oula One

So, continuing with my very sexy and respectable journey to win a high-priced and totally unnecessary kitchen item, I come hot off the heels of my hilariously and gloriously slow three mile run to the noble choice of: Whatever class is available to me at 9 am and in a decent spot on my bingo card.

That's Oula One, babes! Do I know what Oula One is? Not even fucking REMOTELY. Do i know that it is a stepping stone to winning really stupid kitchen appliances? Oh fuck yes. Let's go.

An incredibly kind woman greets me by introducing herself, shaking my hand, and explaining that it's a yoga dance fusion class.

Excellent! I hate yoga! I scream with my entire mind.

She must have heard me with her third ear or somethinking, because she's smiling and telling me not to worry, because it's all about doing what feels good in my body. Great! I hate doing what feels good in my body! Part of the reason I hate yoga is it is neither fun nor punishing. I LOVE to be taken to the end of my tether. One of my favorite activities of last year was our 24 hour run, where I ended up with cactus spines through my toe. Running lets me take myself to the redline and see if I can cross the finish line before the engine explodes. Boot camp tells me that I'm fucking weak, and I can drag myself in a full plank across a gym floor, can't I? Work harder, it screams. This is great for me! I love feeling like I could not possibly have given one more inch.

Yoga, on the other hand, is both very difficult, and not punishing. I can't touch my hand flat palmed to the floor, but neither do I feel broken by pushing to it. I am just bored! I am an extremely hyperactive human being and sitting cross legged grounding myself is probably against the Geneva Convention. I want to crawl out of the classroom like an inchworm.

But here I am! In a dynamic yoga class, sitting on the floor in my damn booty booty ass ass running shorts, which are very practical on a track but less so here. I was wearing sloth underwear today and everyone knew it. You're welcome. Since I'm here, I am going to give it my best try, and I am going to go in with an open mind.

Twist ending for me most of all: I actually sort of enjoyed it! It moves much faster than a normal yoga class, but you repeat the moves a lot and can get deeper and deeper into them. It's extremely hippy-dippy, which I absolutely am not, and I had to muffle my laughter when she was like, 'This song is about keeping our shadow self near us" but...I am somewhat older than y'all so i don't know if you have this experience.

So picture a party, and there's a lot of weed at this party. Now, you don't smoke weed because it makes you strange in ways you don't like, but you do like partying, and there's some extremely suspect but deeply alcoholic Homebrew "mead" and you're making the best of it, and besides you need a favor from the guy you came with because you want to buy shrooms for the meteor shower backpacking trip a few weekends from now (I realize I have touched the absolute heart of tumblr right now, and you all are nodding in agreement at this very relatable scenario) This person is like a lot of the people who always had weed before everyone did, and so there are dyed silks hanging from her walls, and Loreena McKennitt is playing in the background, and you're definitely a little buzzed, and getting kind of a contact high, and then people start to dance. They dance with these big, open swirls of their body, and almost certainly someone is wearing moss green.

That is how I would describe the yoga-dance fusion at this class. Easy to follow, very vibes-based, and heavily based in big, open moves that give good stretch. Seeing as it takes an act of God and Congress for me to stretch, forcing myself to go do it every week or ever every other would not be the worst thing.

I cannot BELIEVE I am saying this, but I would go again.

Definitely without the ass shorts though.

[manchasama]

Ooooh I am so pleased with this chapter. It is very fun. The submas server is such a joy to sprint with, I am actually writing!! :>

Hard to Swallow Part 3 (Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5)

-

Lunch with Elesa was rarely subdued.  Today was no different, Elesa animated and practically sparkling as she regaled them with the antics of her latest challengers. 

"So you know what they did?" she asked, mirth dancing in her eyes as she leaned across the table dramatically.  "They just chucked the berry at their Herdier's face!"

"No!" Emmet said, a delighted grin on his face as he leaned into Elesa space.

"Egads!" Ingo echoed, biting his lip to keep his chuckles at bay.  

"Yes!" she said, bopping Emmet on the nose and grinning when he wrinkled it at her.  "I don't know who looked more surprised; the kid or the Herdier."

"With such a blunder, I imagine the rest of the battle was concluded in quick order?" Ingo asked, chewing on his straw as he rested his head on his hands, elbows propped on the table.

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Elesa cooed.  "But no, our intrepid trainer didn't stop there.  I thought for sure I'd be able to take out their Herdier with Sparkler before they could recover.  My darling little Emolga was raring to go, but!" she shoved Emmet's face away as she straighten up, "I did not expect the Herdier to step on the berry and slip."

Ingo felt his eyebrows raise, and Emmet rocked backward with a laugh.  "Another gaffe to be sure, but surely—"

"Ah ah ah!" Elesa said, wagging a finger at him.  "That's what I thought.  And sure, at first glance it looked like it.  But you should have seen the look on the kid's face.  I think they'd practiced that clown move!  The Herdier slipped right under Sparkler's attack, and came back with an Ice Fang.  Can you believe it?  Poor Sparkler did his best, but he'd already taken too many hits."  She sat back in her seat with a satisfied smile.  "Honestly it was an electrifying battle!"

"I am Emmet, and I am so jealous!" Emmet cried, flinging his hands up as he rocked back in his chair.  "They sound like a great battler.  Did you tell them to come to the subway?"

Elesa gave him a coy look.  "Weeeell..."

"Elesa!" Ingo boomed.  "You cannot tease us with such an inspiring battle and not recommend them to come test their mettle against us!"  He attempted to give her his most pitiful look.  Judging by Emmet's smirk, it wasn't terribly effective.  As if Emmet wasn't equally eager for such a challenger.  Ingo went back to chewing on his straw, his drink long since finished.

She laughed at their perturbed faces.  "Of course I did, you bidoofus," she said.

"No!" Emmet immediately protested.  "Bad Elesa!  You promised no puns at lunch!"

"I said no puns you didn't find funny," she protested with a pout.  "You love that one!"

"In what world do I like being insulted.  By my very best friend!"

"Every one," Ingo said, Elesa chiming in at the same time "All of them!"

"Betrayal.  Both of you are awful," Emmet grumbled, picking up his sandwich to take a vicious bite out of it.  It did nothing to hide his smile, full of good humor.

"It's part of our charm," Elesa said, reaching over to squish Ingo to her side.  The straw remained clenched in his teeth, and he grumbled a bit as a few drops fell onto his pants.  The good thing about wearing black at least.  He felt the chair tilt under him briefly as his weight shifted, but she released him before he could decide if that was a problem, and he rocked back into place.  "Anyway, it's not like you guys don't spend all day having the best of battles."

"That is because we are smart," Emmet said.  "You have to be good before you get to us!  No, the best!  Unlike you, Elesa."

"But Elesa gets the privilege of seeing all the upcoming trainers every day," Ingo interjected. "How exciting, to be able to watch them grow, and know you were part of their journey!' 

"Aw, you're giving me too much credit Ingo," Elesa said, shoving at his arm.  "It is one of the perks of the job, but I hardly think one gym leader is going to leave that much of an impression on them."

Ingo immediately straightened, feeling outraged on his friend's behalf.  "That is such hogwash! Elesa, what you and your fellow gym leaders do is nothing short of inspiring!"  He hardly noticed the straw fall to the ground as he wound up.  "No matter how great or little success you have, your pokemon journey is one of the most life changing experiences.  And none of it is possible without the gym route.  You remember when you took on uncle Drayden!  How you spent an entire week after your first attempt, training with your Togetic for new and inventive battle strategies.  And how sweet that victory was when you succeeded!

Or when Emmet and I fought Clay at Castelia City gym!  Emmet was so confident when Eelektross had finally evolved, that we charged in without our safety checks.  It took us over ten tries to even make it to their door, because we were so ill equipped to match against the myriad of ground types.  It was a difficult lesson, but he and Eelektross overcame it.  They would not be the two-car team they are today if Clay had not been there to challenge their ideals."  

His hands were flat on the table now as he leaned over, nearly vibrating with the physical need to convince Elesa of his sincerity.

"Elesa, you may not know how many of them you touched, how many of them you inspired to become better trainers, better partners, better people!  But none of them will ever forget you.  They will hold you deep in their heart, and remember the talented and brilliant battler you are, and the greater heights they can reach with their partners at their side.  Especially ones like your young trainer, who go above and beyond to achieve success, who never give up.  Of course you will be remembered!"

Ingo realized he was now standing, nearly half over the table in his enthusiasm.  Elesa's cheeks were a bit pink, though it was half hidden under her hands as she looked up at him.  Emmet had his hands over his ears, but was grinning a smile full of warmth.  As the silence around them grew, Ingo realized he had been...quite loud.  

A flash interrupted his inner mortification, and all three looked over to where a man was hightailing it down the street, camera clutched to his chest as he ran.

"Oooh, wonder what their gonna post about you tomorrow~" Emmet sing-songed.  He lowered his hands to rub them together gleefully.  "I bet it's going to be another breakup headline!  Yup!  Elesa cheating on poor Ingo with his own darling little brother."

"Emmet!" Ingo gasped, affronted.  He flopped back into his chair, sure he was flushed from embarrassment alone now.  

"Nonsense, I'd never dump the sexiest man in Nimbasa," Elesa countered, batting her eyes at Ingo.

"Betrayal!" Emmet howled, launching forward to flop half on the table and only narrowly missing getting sauce stains on his white shirt.  Ingo swore Emmet had some supernatural ability that was only good for keeping his whites white.  "Being sexy is overrated.  Battling is much better."  Emmet had managed to snag one of Elesa's braids, giving it a firm tug.  She smacked his hands away with a laugh.  

"I do wish you would let that drop.  Forever, preferably."  Ingo sunk further down in his chair uncomfortably.  "I cannot believe you both signed me up for that without me knowing."  He reach out and snagged the rest of his sandwich, taking a morose bite out of it.

"I am Emmet, and I had to know the truth," his brother said, not looking sorry at all.  "More people need to appreciate Ingo, yup!"

"Not like that," he groaned, taking a larger bite from his sandwich and chewing in frustration.

"Yes like that," Elesa countered.  "Your thirsty public wanted to see your bare wrists!  The scandal."

"So inappropriate," Emmet agreed with a sage nod.  "Next Ingo will go around without his coat."

"We are not wearing our coats now Emmet," he protested.  

Emmet reached with an exaggerated look of shock, clutching at Elesa's arm.  "My own brother Elesa!  A harlot!"

Elesa snorted a laugh, before dissolving into gales of mirth.  Ingo sighed, but truly did not mind the teasing from his brother.  It had been amusing to see the public's reactions in the magazine poll.  Even better, participation in the battle subway had quadrupled for months afterwards.  He pressed the last of his sandwich in his mouth, reaching out for his glass before remembering it was empty.  No matter, he would remember to pick up a water bottle from the break room later.

He continued to chew, not paying his companions any mind as he mentally went over the paperwork left to do when they returned as well.  It was to be the multi trains this afternoon, a double shift so the regular and super lines would run.  Also—

Also he was still chewing the last of his sandwich, and he realized he really, really did not want to be.  He let out a soft huff as he bit down and stopped the useless chewing.  Would it be impolite to spit it into a napkin?  The thought made his throat seize a little, and he knew it would end with him gagging for a bit.  Not his favorite.  

A glass was shoved into his hand, Emmet's half empty water glass.  He shot Emmet a grateful look, and lifted it to his mouth to take a quick sip.  As always, the act unfroze his throat, and he was able to swallow at last.  He took another sip to rid himself of the feeling in his mouth, before sliding it back across the table to Emmet.

Elesa's voice caught his attention.  "You okay Ingo?"  Her mouth was pulled down in a slight frown as she studied his face.

"Ah, yes," he said, a bit embarrassed she had caught his little episode.  "Merely a...small issue.  It is nothing to be concerned about."  He didn't want to give a false excuse for it.

She let out a little mou of displeasure at the dismissal.  "Maybe so, but I'm your friend!  Was the food not good?  I'm sorry if you were forcing yourself—"

"No!" he said, voice louder than he intended.  She jumped at the interruption, though she smiled at him afterward to show no harm was done.  "No, the food was fine.  Delicious even!  It is a silly failing in myself."

"Ingooo," Emmet drawled.  The corners of his smile were tight in displeasure.  "It is not a failing!  Do not belittle yourself for it."  He turned to Elesa.  "Sometimes Ingo cannot swallow.  A drink will usually fix it.  Simple!  Nothing to be ashamed of."

"Of course not!" Elesa agreed readily.  She gave into a disapproving look of her own.  "What is silly is thinking it's a big deal!  Okay, I'll keep that in mind for next time.  We still have," she pulled out her xtransciever and gave it a cursory glance, "seven minutes before I have to skeddadle.  That's enough time for you—" she reached across the table to tap the back of Ingo's nearest hand, "—to look over my next line up.  I really think I need to switch it up to generate more energy on stage."

"What?" Emmet cried, affronted.  "Why just Ingo?  Why not me?"

"You are grounded from helping."  Elesa tilted her head back to better look down her nose at Emmet.  "Because of last time."

"I was verrrry helpful."

"You told me to wear a jacket made out of your Joltiks, so they could spring out at the last minute like a zappy bomb."

Emmet sat back in his chair with a satisfied look.  "It's such a good idea.  Your jacket looks like many Joltik.  What could go wrong?"

Elesa threw up her hands and looked at Ingo. "Control your brother!"

Ingo nodded thoughtfully.  "If they work as a unit, could it be considered one move under league rules?"

Elesa's shriek of outrage was worth being chased out of the restaurant by a raging super model.  Ingo loved his little family.

(Later, when asked in an interview why she stared carrying around a waterbottle with her normal outfit, Elesa merely smiled and said, "Water you talking about?  It's always helpful to have a drink to share.")

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Propaganda under the cut.

Tabitha Scarlet:

owns a mine, has banned her ex girlfriend from said mine, has a lot of Mom Trauma that has resulted in her wanting to be vulnerable while simultaneously believing she cannot afford to be. also some paths in the game lead to her killing someone and she's not as upset about it as she probably should be

She literally runs one of the largest coal mines in the area, coal baroness, strikebreaker (does not want her employees to unionize), if you build up a close enough relationship with her you can find out she's not really a horrible person and she's just dealing with the weight of hundreds of years of obligations on her shoulders but it still doesn't excuse the fact that some of her inspirations include Rockefeller, Carnegie, and Ford

Morte Asherah

I will level with you I have not finished this game (i am close to the end though). however. I love her dearly and I want you to know her because so few people do. that said oh she's going to lose immediately. the fanbase is 3 people wide. but look. look. she's fantastic. morte is a 16 year old anarchist who we learn early on in the game is absolutely Adamant on bringing on armageddon and destroying the entire world. she is also the deuteragonist of the game. we are not actually avoiding killing the world here. she is also: the most down with murder good guy I have ever seen in an rpg who isn't at all framed as Evil at first or even an antihero. so far she has not taken a Single alternate route to solve a problem when it could be solved by killing somebody. where any other jrpg would have a stealth mission go down to try and get these papers from a lord without anybody noticing, she just says "fuck it let's just kill him and take the papers off his corpse". she literally just kills all her problems. jesus h christ. she has a bounty on her head from the very start of the game and multiple fun monikers like Lady Death and The Scarlet Plague. my personal favorite is beastslayer for the simple fact that in this game the entire upper class is composed of furries. she is So Much. she just Is a guillotine. also as a bonus (maybe not a bonus?) she's like. from an outside perspective kind of generic? like until she opens her bloodthirsty little mouth if you see her you'd assume she's just Jrpg Girl. she looks like it the few cgi cutscenes in the game show her like she's a Jrpg Girl. she's pink and ruffly and Loves Murdering Authority Figures and is very fun and upbeat about it all. her magic attack in the game is a molotov cocktail. she's fantastic.

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Special Ep (Finale) Stray Thoughts

I am curious how I feel about this as the end of the Theory of Love run. I won't recap since we finished the show, but I went back into my own posts and I previously liked this despite having no memory of it.

Okay, as cheesy as it is, I do generally like when follow up outings acknowledge or tease their critics.

Oh that play with the names. I saw that. It's 2020 and we all verse now. (Side note. I do not remember associating this special with COVID lockdowns.)

It's kinda fun when the epilogue content happens before the actual ending. We know that they will get back together to form Hod Production and that they'll succeed.

Special Episode: Stand By Me

Oh, Third. You really had this man sleeping on the floor for multiple nights. Even as someone who wanted him to suffer, you aren't serious.

I'm not surprised Third and Khai ended up working together, and it's definitely good for Third's ego that Khai is being such a simp.

I was curious what hanging out for these guys would look like now that most of them are in committed relationships and Bone is healing from heartache.

Look at that, Khai. Growth. He was in a situation with some girls and made it clear he wasn't available. I will accept the incoming hijinks from this lipstick.

Yes, Khai, why did you lie?

I snorted at the camera guy having better communication with the director or cinematographer than Khai.

Did this girl suck on his neck? Why is he still hiding it? Just tell Third some drunk girl fell on you. Two saw it and Third trusts Two. Bone gets it.

I'm glad Third is aware that he's cute and actively maintaining it. Gun torments me regularly on IG.

I kinda like that Khai is being so ridiculous about this drunk girl situation. We know he's been at this for almost a year trying to prove his loyalty to Third.

This senior taking the graduation photo from them was one of the motorcycle guys in My Ride.

Aww, Bone. Do you think you're better off alone? Talk to me.

Any time someone points with their lips I laugh.

I love this confession in the car. Third is still testing Khai, but at least he knows Khai wasn't stepping out. I like that the resolution is one about how they're both trying to make this work despite the emotional baggage. I like the version of Khai that wants to honor Third.

These two made it four years and produced a movie together. I believe in their relationship if it's still going strong after making a highly successful film.

I am actually so into Khai doing multiple proposals to Third, elevating it each time.

Well, that was lovely.

Updated Verdict: 8.5, Recommended for Fans of Romance Cinema. I spent a lot of time over the last few days thinking about how I would recommend this series going forward. I think it is good on a lot of technical fronts, and there's a lot to like in the BTS: particularly Off using his own clothes to supplement Khai's wardrobe. Still, this show firmly sits right over the awkward line between BL and queerness that makes me uncomfortable with the genre sometimes.

Third's reticence to Khai only makes sense to me in a world where The Knowing occurs, and yet this is mostly a show in the bubble. So much of what's wrong with Third is because he's let the fantasy of romance films cloud his ability to have a mutually beneficial relationship with someone he loves. I do love when romance interrogates itself, and yet it feels like a hugely missed opportunity to discuss how queer people cannot rely on the presumptions of heteronormativity when building relationships with each other.

Moreover, I struggle with Khai's change narrative because I am not entirely certain who it's for. It reminds me of the Mulan problem, where we have a character who defies norms and expectations and it almost feels like the character exists to point to them and say, "You're not them." I have been hurt by guys like Khai, and none of them changed in a way that ever led to reconciliation for me. It's something I struggle with as I watch this, and it makes me wonder what the outcome of presenting this will be or the femmes and the gays who watch this since the Khai's of the world aren't watching.

Still, I will say that this show has incredibly fun structure if you know the major beats of the films used as the title for each episode. I think Off plays a jerk you begrudgingly want to root for really well. I think Mike actually did a really good job in this show and I apologize to Bone for being so pissy three years ago. Gun is beautiful and so easy to empathize with, but I gotta say that Third is not my favorite character of his.

I am glad @lurkingshan burned her coupons to make me revisit this show, and I've enjoyed having @waitmyturtles and @neuroticbookworm to talk about how I was feeling about things along the way. I don't think I love this show the way you three do, but it is a well-executed narrative doing some interesting things with the romance genre. My lingering hangups, and why I can't take it to a 9, have to do with the mixed bag of queerness in this. Third feels like a repressed gay, and Khai has a legit bisexual awakening, but the other cultural context being missing means it never connects for me as a queer narrative.

This is something I'm thinking about a lot as we head into Cooking Crush, because OffGun always leaves me a bit shaky on that front. On paper it's gay, but it never exactly feels gay for me.

Also tagging @twig-tea by request.

[io-lu-art]

just a looong ramble analysing and rethinking Rey's character and turning whatever conclusions I get to into my headcanon without changing any plot points in TFA because I don't have the energy for that....

First things first. With everything I write here and publish on my blog from now on I refuse to believe that TROS ever existed. Everyone is free to have their personal opinions as long as they don't harass or hate on anyone, and this is mine. Almost every choice in that movie has left me scarred, even up til now, 4 years after its release. I thought I can ignore it, like any other healthy human being, but - oh boy, I cannot. If you are interested in reading another ramble on that, here's the post.

Since I am writing my own take on what could happen after TLJ (you may call it a fanfiction, I'm gonna call it a fanscript since that's gonna be its format), this post serves the purpose of getting my head clear around what's the deal with Rey, analysing, and lying down a solid foundation for my WIP. The story I'm writing has barely reached the end of Act I (out of III) at the moment I am composing this commentary, and I constantly notice that I get stuck with Rey's character every time I have to think about her for different reasons I will address down below.

I will make some rewrites as I see fit and necessary along the way for her character to make sense to me. All rewrites are in Tumblr's

chat style

This post will be linked to my AO3 fancifction as a reference for people to understand how I treat her character as soon as that one will be finished... *clears her throat* ...ANYWAY-

Let's have a look at Rey, shall we?

Rey's introduction.

When we first meet Rey, there is already a lot we get to learn about her. She's a scavenger. On a pretty much deserted desert planet. Water and food are scarce. She gathers parts during the day to sell them in exchange for food rations.

She has no friends, no family. She's lonely. And has been for quite a while. And yet, though hard, it looks like a pretty peaceful and stable life. If it were significantly different, we would have gotten introduction scenes of her battling some gangs or other scavengers for parts or something. But instead we were provided with beautiful, peaceful cinematography and John Williams' incredible score.

She manages. She manages because she has to and has never known to do otherwise. This on its own is already a very solid introduction. And it becomes even more powerful as we are provided with additional context later on, as she tells BB-8 that she's waiting for her family.

We know who she is, what she does and what she wants. No more questions, right?

Well, this is where it gets confusing, at least for me: there's one shot in Rey's introduction which always leaves me puzzled about her actual wants. It's the moment she puts on the rebel pilot helmet.

Maybe I am reading too much into it, but it feels like it kinda wants to draw parallels to Luke Skywalker in ANH? What exactly is the purpose of this shot? Is she putting on the helmet just for fun? Is it to show that she is still a kid inside? She seems to enjoy herself. Is it to show us that she maybe wants to be a pilot...? The gesture on its own is too little information to imply that, let alone that she already is a very skilled one, so probably no. Then, is it, perhaps, to show us that she dreams of more? Like Luke, who wanted to get off the planet that is "farthest away from the bright center of the universe"?

The interpretations, especially when looking at it in context to the rest of the movie could go on and on and on.

Quick detour.

The reason it works so well with Luke's character is because from the very beginning, with everything he does and says, it is perfectly clear that he doesn't want to stay on Tatooine. It's his only want when we first meet him.

Luke has friends who tell him about the galaxy. He seeks adventure.

And he's very impatient about it.

Everything he says basically SCREAMS how much he hates it there.

Now back to Rey.

Am I expecting Rey to show the same interest in getting off Jakku with the same attitude and level of energy as Luke, should that have been what TFA was going for? No, of course not. They are (supposed to be) two different characters after all. But I do believe that, given the setup, that helmet scene leaves too much room for confusing and unnecessary interpretation. (More so because I am trying my best to avoid nostalgia bait wherever I can.)

I am not denying the fact that she wouldn't have heard about the wider galaxy, that she wouldn't wonder about what it would feel like, being out there. People travel. And with people traveling, so do stories. So if you want to hint at that, do it subtly, all the while keeping the focus on her biggest want.

I might really just be reading too much into it, but still, in my humble opinion, a way to solve this confusion is cutting out her interaction with the pilot helmet completely. Let me demonstrate.

Inside her home we already see this self-made rebel pilot puppet. Just like the puppet lying around, instead of having her pick it up and putting it on,

the helmet remains part of the environment, stuck in the sand. There could even be a close-up on it as Rey puts down her empty plate next to it when she has finished eating if you really want to show it. She then rests her arms on her knees and looks up into the sky, following the ship that has just departed from the far outpost into the high atmosphere until it disappears. Waiting.

What is achieved by changing the interaction with the helmet is that it keeps her wants just as clear as Luke's. Luke wants adventure. She wants her family back. Period.

...I rewatched this scene after writing these paragraphs and yes, I admit, in the end it happens so fast that one could probably just let it pass and interpret it as Rey being very bored and using it as entertainment to wait out the days. But even if it were just that, the effects this little tweak would have on the following scenes is quite interesting to look at nonetheless.

The tweak I am going with from now on: Having her not actively wonder about possible adventures at all. She doesn't believe those stories to actually be true, because she's never allowed herself to. She's never allowed herself to actually want to ever leave Jakku.

What would it mean for her characterisation? It would make her slightly more serious and grounded. And the movie (except for the helmet scene) actually already treats her that way. Notice how she, while fixing BB-8's antenna, takes a moment to look at him before asking:

She's never seen such a droid before. At least not in such good condition. So, of course, she's curious. But when BB-8 says it's classified, she only laughs about it. "Classified? Really? Me too. Big secret," as if to say, haha, yeah, right. She rejects that possibility. And she doesn't bother asking any further, because when she is confronted with the choice to go and explore, she is reminded of her promise to herself, which is that she will wait for her family until they return.

Now, here is where I insert some very subtle "rewriting". When Rey first meets Finn, she is suspicious of him...

...and should actually remain suspicious,

instead of admiring him and falling into this, let's call it, "excited, fangirly smile"...

She doesn't know him. She has no reason to trust him. Instead, the tone of this line should be one that reflects her emotions as it slowly gets to her that those stories she's been hearing about might actually have some truth to them, that there might actually be a wider world out there. So make her be gradually interested.

Huh. This man I just forcefully hit to the ground, a Resistance fighter, knows about BB-8 and his classified information. What are the odds of that?

"So you're with the Resistance?" Rey asks suspiciously, looking down at the man.

The man stands up, brushes the sand and dust off his jacket and answers, "Obviously. Yes, I am. I am with the Resistance."

Rey frowns, "I've never met a Resistance fighter before," scanning him with her eyes. Why would there be any on Jakku? Nothing ever happens here.

"Oh, this is what we look like, some of us. Others look different."

Rey cannot help a little smile at his strange attitude. She looks back to where BB-8 rolled off to. Puzzled, she tells him, "BB-8 says he's on a secret mission. He has to get back to your base..." Even hearing herself pronounce that out loud feels so surreal to her. None of this makes any sense. Why-

"Apparently he has a map that leads to Luke Skywalker and everyone's after it."

What? "Luke Skywalker?" she asks, confounded.

CUT TO ACTION.

Whether she wants it or not, the plot forces her into the stories she's been hearing of. You don't want to believe they are real? They're real, all right. She has no choice but to run and get along. And later, she does get more and more interested, specifically when she meets Han Solo, the legend himself. Her whole beliefs turn upside down. It's exciting and she embraces it. Why? She's made a promise to BB-8 that she will get him home, and those things kinda come hand in hand.

Rey's physicality.

Rey is very fast to jump into action. She doesn't think twice about what she's doing. She just acts. Because that's how she's learned to survive all this time on her own. When she but hears BB-8 struggling in the distant sand dunes the first time they meet, she immediately reacts and goes to help (which also shows how compassionate she is towards people - and droids - in need of help).

And she's incredibly stubborn about it. If I may even word it like this: it's something she carries with pride.

So she's a good fighter. And I have but one request: DO. NOT. FORGET. THAT. HER. FIGHTING. STYLE. IS. ROUGH. AND. DIRTY. AND. HAS. NO. TECHNIQUE. WHATSOEVER. WHILE. THE. STORY. PROGRESSES. OK? Ok. What else? Ah, yes. Piloting. I don't know which of the two aspects has brought more uproar in the SW community, with the addition of the Force to these 2 points making people call her a Mary Sue, her being overpowered and so on. Let's have a look at that.

Rey's piloting skills.

She obviously knows her way around the Falcon. And it's plausible. "This ship hasn't flown in years!" It's been there for quite a while. Maybe she has had the opportunity to sneak onto it once. What about her flying skills? Well, that takeoff definitely had me worried. At this point I am even amazed this ship is still all in one piece. Which has me thinking... just a thought...

While trying to get those TIEs off their tail, Rey damages a visibly big part of the Falcon's exterior. "Ups," she comments, hastily checking the controls. Ok... The ship still flies. All good.

"What was that?" Finn calls from the gunner position, seriously worried for their lives.

"Nothing to worry about!" Rey quickly shouts back. All in all, the flight is messy as hell, and the Falcon needs some heavy repairs. But they still manage to get out.

"Nice shooting!"

"That was some flying! How did you do that?"

"Thanks! I don't know! I've flown some ships, but I've never left the planet."

(This is me reacting to their dialogue in the new context:) Yeah, guys, good work! You've almost destroyed the Falcon in the process, but you're alive, so I guess it's fiiiiiine.

What am I going for here? Adding to their level of expectations, which are... pretty low, and hopefully Rey's likability.

And then, later, Han is horrified of the state his ship is in, "Who did that?" Rey doesn't answer his question, but instead immediately offers her help, "I can fix that for you," feeling a bit ashamed of handling the ship of a legend this carelessly. And Han is... well, Han about it.

When would the Falcon get those repairs, you might ask? Eh, *hand gesture* there's plenty of time on D'Quar for that while they discuss how to blow up the third Deathst- *clears her throat* Starkiller Base. And obviously it's not gonna be Rey doing those repairs.

This addition tones down her abilities, puts more focus on her skills as a scavenger and makes her more relatable. I'd also argue that it puts more weight to her decision to eventually decline Han's offer to join the crew because of her wants. You see, once immersed into the real thing, the stories becoming true, meeting the legends, she becomes genuinely curious. She asks questions. Why did Luke leave? What fight? She gets incredibly excited when Han offers her a job. And yet, despite all, she still wants to go back.

Nevertheless, Rey displays pretty amazing piloting skills under those stressful circumstances on Jakku. After all, flying the Falcon is....

Her instincts are implacable. One might even say that she*

She just isn't aware of it yet. It is not until some scenes with Han and the rathtars later that we get the first hint.

The Force.

Now I might be wrong, but I have a theory, which is that the piloting performance under high pressure on Jakku might have been it. The Awakening.

The Force calls to Rey through Luke's lightsaber. And she listens to it, not knowing what will follow. She experiences the Force vision, and is horrified.

"That lightsaber was Luke's, and his father's before him, and now, it calls to you!"

"I have to get back to Jakku." Again.

Even when Maz tells her, "You already know the truth. Whomever your waiting for on Jakku, they are never coming back,"

she still refuses to believe that.

Tears run down her cheeks

and she shakes her head. No.

"But there's someone who still could."

Rey frowns. What is Maz implying there? "Luke?" she asks and realises what it's leading up to, and doesn't like it. Her emotions are a mess. She gulps back and keeps shaking her head as Maz speaks.

"The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. [...] The light. Feel it. [...] The lightsaber. Take it."

Rey doesn't want to hear of it. Any of it.

"I am never touching that thing again!"

Rey just witnessed complete horror. She is in denial. Keep in mind her clear wants from the beginning of the movie. Ideally her want for her parents to come back should be replaced by the character fulfilling her needs at the end of her arc. But we're not nearly there yet. What Maz tells her about the Force completely contradicts Rey's experiences. She cannot just accept the truth. And how does she handle it? She runs away. She's terrified.

She wants to go back to the way things were before any of this mess started. But the plot doesn't let her run away that easily. It knows she has to face her fears, one being her fear of the Force and one the fear of perhaps never making it back to Jakku ever again.

It forces her further into these situations, making it impossible for her to get out of them. She's trapped. Literally and figuratively. And fighting her way out won't work this time, the one ability she always relied on to save herself. It's her darkest moment. And if that were not enough, Kylo Ren, this stranger, this man inside that mask, the man from her vision, shoves all her insecurities right into her face.

"And Han Solo." Rey jolts up. Either out of fear of possibly betraying Han and slipping, giving away a location, or out of rage that Kylo has gone too far into her personal space. Either way, this rage gives her some strength to oppose him. "You feel like he's the father you never had. He would have disappointed you."

"Get out of my head!" He backs away for his own reasons, not wanting to think any more of his father, but still holds onto her mind. Rey does all she can to withstand him, and the longer she does, the more time it gives her to understand what is going on.

And Kylo senses it. What he's trying to do here is not working. Concern washes over his face, which makes him lose control over the situation. The connection opens, inviting Rey to tap into his mind. She's inside his head. Now she understands. She understands she can use this power on him, too. So she does.

And there it is. She's strong with the Force.

And that's intentional. Why? For reasons we discover in TLJ and numerous other fanfictions. (TROS? w-what's that-)

She has found a way out of the situation. Now, has she ever heard of Jedi mind tricks? Maybe? But remember what she just discovered: She just tapped into Kylo's mind. So she tries that again on the stormtrooper. Because when she knows how to act, she just does. She's always been confident in her physical abilities and skills. Why would she have to treat this new power any different? And luckily it works, after 3 tries.

And that's fine. Let's move on. Kylo kills Han. Explosions.

Notice this. Even though she knows she now has these new powers, the same powers Kylo has, she still draws her blaster at him after calling him a monster. She acts on emotion and choses the quick, familiar way.

I actually like to believe that Rey really doesn't know what the Force is and how it works, at all. How would she? Yes, Maz did tell her about it, but how do Force-powers manifest in people? She's never seen anyone use it before, upon meeting Kylo Ren. So in every scene she does use it, she just copies Kylo. That's the only reference she has. Remember how proud she is of her physical abilities. And she is so naive that she just goes and tries it for herself, without thinking of whether it will work out or not. And it works out for her. Because, again, she is strong in the Force.

It's true that her flaw, her naivety, is not really addressed in TFA. It never really backlashes on her. And, to be completely honest, I have no idea how to make room for that without some heavier rewrites yet. But maybe it's not necessary. TLJ takes care of that. TFA just introduces us to Rey as a character after all.

Now, is the force-summoned lightsaber making her overpowered? If you interpret it as "Kylo couldn't get that thing out the snow but Rey could," then yes, yes it is. BUT, if you see it as "while Rey is observing the fight, she sees Kylo trying to summon it, so she copies him, the way she copied him with the mind-tapping, and reaches for it the moment Kylo conveniently gets it out of the snow for her," I don't think it is, though I do agree that in order for the second version to be true, the scene happens too fast with too little shots to explain it. *OP takes a breath* So, here is what I suggest:

Kylo reaches out for the lightsaber. SHOT of the lightsaber in the snow, fidgeting slightly. BACK TO Kylo, pulling anew. BACK TO the lightsaber. It gets free. CUT. Another shot of it flying through the air towards the camera.

SHOT on Rey witnessing that - she is already on her feet again - and immediately reaching for it as well, outstretching her arm towards it.

SHOT of Kylo as he feels the momentum of his pull shift and dodges out of the way. The lightsaber flies past him, into Rey's hand.

Rey has always been fast to react to action. So it would make sense for her to be able to do that. Ok. Now to the fight itself.

*sighs* I don't even know where to start. ...One thing's for sure. Kylo at this point is pretty much destroyed emotionally from having killed his father, but he's still big and strong and aggressive in his movements. Rey, on the other hand, kinda seamlessly knows how to handle a lightsaber, which... is definitely not believable at all.

Let's step back for a moment. Why do we have this fight? Rey needs to get Finn and herself out of there and Kylo is pretty much in the way, so she wants to eliminate the problem. And what does Kylo want? Sure, he is interested in Rey and her raw powers which eventually adds up to them being equals in the Force, so he doesn't want to kill her...

But he also wants that lightsaber, doesn't he?

(God, I am looking at this fight to find any clues and I'm just sitting here, elbows on the table, resting my head in my hands, massaging my temples, wondering, "why the hell are there so many cuts in that fight scene?") (I am no expert in fight choreography, so bare with me as I try to make this work.)

Rey is the one who draws first at him.

She has never wielded a lightsaber before, but knows how to handle a staff... so she treats the lightsaber like a staff within its limitations.

Because remember, HER. STYLE. OF. FIGHTING. IS. ROUGH. AND. DIRTY. AND. HAS. NO. TECHNIQUE. WHATSOEVER. So, pretend we have some well thought out choreography in this part.

Kylo blocks her with ease. Rey is frustrated. The lightsaber feels heavy and difficult to handle. It doesn't take long for Kylo to

get her cornered at the edge of the newly formed cliff.

"You need a teacher! I could show you the ways of the Force!" he exclaims.

Rey considers, out of breath, "The Force?" Rey takes a moment as her mind connects the dots. So that's what these new powers are? Kylo watches her, waits for her to make a move. No time for pondering about the Force any more. Rey moves. Kylo LETS her duck and free herself from his block. She runs, backs away from the crater. He follows her. He outstretches his arm. Rey is stuck. She's literally petrified. Again. Kylo draws nearer. He twirls his saber, now holding it backwards (you know, Ahsoka style). "No," she hisses through her teeth, struggling. Heavy breaths. She closes her eyes. When he almost touches her hand holding the lightsaber, "No!" she RESISTS his force-cage and GOES FREE.

Because, you see, even though Maz told her to "close her eyes" and "feel the light", Rey has never done that before, and when under stress, I do believe she would rather choose a quick, familiar way to get out of the situation. The only thing she knows how to do with the Force at this point is to copy or resist Kylo. She wouldn't know how to to draw power from the Force, yet. She'll have plenty of time to learn that from Luke later, should she survive this fight, so we better continue.

Kylo stumbles back as she draws at him. Rey goes for a swing to hit from above, which Kylo manages to block last second, bringing his lighsaber up from behind his back. As their lightsabers are crossed again he quickly reaches for her right hand, which is holding Luke's saber, with his left hand and moves it aside to his right towards the ground, using his crossguard for more momentum to force her down. He steps his left foot accordingly to keep himself stable. Rey cries out from the unexpected movement. They are kinda back to back. His left shoulder against her right one. The position is uncomfortable. He squeezes Rey's wrist. Rey cries out in pain. Then, she realises how close they are.

Time for some close combat, ladies and gentlemen.

She gives in and lets go of the lightsaber, lets it fall to the ground. Kylo releases her to reach for the fallen lightsaber. But before he can pick it up, Rey KICKS his left hand away with her right heel and PUNCHES his JAW with her right elbow from below. Kylo's head rocks back. He stumbles backwards from the harsh impact, causing him to turn his back to her in order to catch himself. Rey summons Luke's lightsaber back into her left hand, and ignites it. When Kylo turns back to his opponent, left and unprotected side first, Rey is ready to stab him in his left shoulder.

Kylo stumbles back some more, she brings her hands together for another strike leftwards, he barely blocks it, he stumbles back some more, it leaves his posture open, Rey strikes again, rightwards, lower this time, wounding his leg, he falls to his knee, leaving Rey the final blow to provide him with his scar.

The reason I started writing this entire ramble in the first place is a conversation I had with my friend which brought up the fact that Rey should be able to beat Kylo by using her rough, unpredictable moves. Shout out to my friend who, bless her, is willing to listen to and survives every one of my sw rants and who pointed this out in the first place!

Is this a good fightscene now? I have no idea. I hope so? I do have it very clear in my head now though, so I might go and have some fun storyboarding it in the nearest future.

You know the rest. The ground splits, she runs to Finn, Chewie picks them up. . . .

There are some more moments which I believe need some tweaks, like the meeting with Leia, which is just so unfair to Chewie, really, but if I go on and on about this, I would end up changing the entire movie, which I do not have the strength for atm. This ramble was supposed to be about Rey and her alone, so I am done here.

I guess in the end Rey does realise her needs and is able to let her wants aside for a bit longer and focus her hope on actually helping the Resistance and get Luke. Hope that, with finding Luke, she will get to understand these new powers. I do feel like the movie could have provided us with a more emotionally rich reactive scene to the fight and her abilities, and generally just more of those, but then, what am I expecting from a JJ Abrams film? We have Rian for that.

My conclusion? I'm bad with conclusions and summaries, so here you have it, my take on Rey by only adding to the existing dialogue, changing some attitudes here and there, adding a scene, and changing the fight sequence at the end and how she treats the Force.

I do have a clearer understanding of her character now, which was the entire purpose of this ramble, so I guess, mission accomplished. Congratulations on having made it till the end. It was a long ride. I did consider splitting this beast into 2 parts, but while writing this, at one point I just decided to fully commit to it.

You are totally free to, of course, agree with me and stay tuned for my WIP fanscript or disagree, never read through this thing ever again, ignore it and leave it to die on Tumblr's graveyard.

Before you ask, because I also considered doing that just for the sake of having fun with GIFs on Tumblr (all text gifs are taken from YARN btw), I will not do a post like this on TLJ, since I have no problems with Rey's character there at all. Props to Rian Johnson at this point, for managing to make sense of her with what TFA gave us.

[beeeinyourbonnet]

I've only ever watched Robert Carlyle in ouat! What are your go to recs of other things he's been in?

Hope you're having a good day 💖💖💖

Oh man okay. I'm just gonna try to list everything I've seen (and please keep in mind that I haven't seen many of these things in forever):

-Hamish MacBeth: actually an amazing show, 100/10, so fucking good. I recommend watching at least the first ep or two with subtitles because the brogues are THICC xD -Formula 51/The 51st State: Second on the list bc I literally just finished rewatching it, it's actually a really great dark comedy action flick. Be warned, there are two scenes of excessive blood but it's otherwise not too violent. -California Solo: I remember this being very good and very sad. But he loves to play a SadBoi, so. -The World is Not Enough: In general, I don't love Bond movies, but this is a pretty fun romp. The plot is somewhat convoluted, but I love Renard???? He's just. Yes. SadBoi anarchist. -Dead Fish: Can I say this is a good movie? No I cannot. But it's so fucking fun. It's so bad. But Bobby is SO good in it. Like, every individual thing in this movie is good, but somehow they put it together and created a disaster??? It does some things that I find super narratively interesting and with some tweaking, it probably could have been an amazing movie. Maybe if Tarantino made it. But like. Danny Devine???? My love. My boy. Not a SadBoi, surprisingly. If you watch the trailer, you'll get an idea of how whatthefuck this movie is. I have seen it many times and, watching the trailer, I was still somehow like what is the plot of this movie.

-The Full Monty: Just a really good movie. Highly recommend. That is next on my rewatch list.

-Stargate Universe: IIRC, I watched about half of one season of this and didn't really love it. He was phenomenal in it, ofc, but otherwise...meh. I would rewatch it but I now watch all the other Stargates and I know this will only disappoint me x] He is a SadBoi scientist, tho.

-The Tournament: Nothing groundbreaking but, from what I remember, a solid movie! Bloody and violent. SadBoi priest. tw: a pet dies, I believe.

-Plunkett and Macleane: I remember this movie being SO fun and now I can't find it anywhere. Very unhappy about that.

-Ravenous: I wanted to add this because I know a lot of people really love it and it seems right up my alley re: dark comedy, but I am too Scared to watch it, so do with that information what you will. It is a horror comedy, I believe.

I have also watched Priest but I found that movie deeply upsetting because it contains quite a bit of CSA and I don't recommend it. Human Trafficking is also deeply upsetting, obviously, and I don't really remember it being great but I am also pretty sure I only made it through half. Annnd I haven't seen Trainspotting but it was award-winning so if that's your cup of tea, I feel confident recommending it (it is absolutely not my cup of tea xD).

So uh. There you go! The longest list ever xD

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 17th March ✨

I’m back! I’ve been cursed by something and life keeps trying to really kill the vibe but I’m back!! Happy Audio Drama Sunday, everyone! ✨

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E5.5) Ough, Riley! This is not good. They may be (pretending to be) fine but I’m not!! Absolutely fuming at the sequence of events that has separated Riley from the only person who can handle them and vice versa 😮‍💨

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (143) season 4 is gripping me by the lapels, screaming “do you UNDERSTAND?!” In my face while I stammer that I am not sure if I understand. I LOVE it though. It’s so fun listening to show where you can trust the creator to take risks and know that it will pay off if you pay attention and keep your red string handy. I love the idea that the god of change and rebirth is affecting the actual narrative - it’s so cool! Though, I want to grab Marolmar by the antlers and fling him somewhere nasty. If Nikignik gets (more) hurt, there will be blood. 

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (15) hehe frogs 🐸. My wife can attest that I actually went ‘oh, no!’ out loud when I twigged where the little guys had come from! Oh, Traveller, what are we going to do with you? 

🎙 Not only did I have the immense pleasure of seeing The Attic live show this week, the new WTNV episode was so fun as well!! I’m so glad Kevin is back…

♦️@grottopod (6) Aaaah!!! Emily!! They have to get them back together?!! What does that MEAN??!! 

⚔️ @camlannpod (5) TURN ON YOUR LOCATION, COWARDS. Waaaah I just want to talk about how this episode hit us with the ‘you are in charge of your own destiny, your story can be changed’ then with a reminder that ‘there is no version of this story which doesn’t have a good ending’ BUT wHAt if he’s making one!!?!?!? I feel for Dai SO much but I really truly believe that the power of love is going to win !!! The Green Knight has just broken the radio so we don’t get to hear his long lecture about how to be a better boyfriend. 

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (10) that was creepy as all hell. Absolutely hated that, actually. The first time in ages that I've thought about a podcast character with fear before turning out the light 😬

⚓️ The beloved eelers of @eelerschoice were back with a very fun Q+A episode. My main impression was how dARE anyone tell Lou that ey cannot write music??? Who is this person?? Feed them to the eels!!!! 

🍎 I finished @notquitedeadpod S2 these past few weeks which was GRIPPING as hell. I listened to the Q+A today and I have to say that it’s one of my fave Q+As ever, there was so much genuine thought and detail put into the answers. I can only dream of producing such a coherent, interesting response to any question about my own work! SO excited for S3, especially given that we're about to get into the vampire science!!!! let's gooo!!! 

Feel free to join me in manifesting a good week!! A huge thank you to everyone who's making these shows (and others!) which I love so much. There's nothing better than sticking on some headphones and escaping life for a while and I've needed that more than usual recently!