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#(I do love my mother; we have a complicated relationship. but the fact is that she did some things fitting the definition of emotional abus
marzipanandminutiae · 6 months
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as a woman who grew up with an emotionally abusive mother constantly telling me I needed to wear more makeup/more revealing clothing/date (boys) more/go out to "normal" parties more, I despise "she should be at the club"
god forbid some people- especially young women, who already have to deal with a thousand different behavioral standards from a thousand different directions -not have the same dreams and desires for their lives as you do for yours
fucking hell. the correct response to "women should stay at home and have kids and be submissive wives" prescriptivism was not MORE PRESCRIPTIVISM
(I also just saw a poll asking if people partied as teenagers, and OP responded that the answers were "killing them" because No was winning. like? why is everyone so personally invested in other people having a very specific kind of fun?)
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letter to his father - franz kafka // origin story, sink - desiree dallagiacomo // the autobiography of my mother - jamaica kincaid // caged: memoirs of a cage-fighting poet - cameron conaway
#you know you're in trouble when the painting of saturn devouring his son by francisco de goya almost makes it on here 🤡#like minds#murderous intent#like minds 2006#alex forbes#sad to admit i have been neglecting my (other) boy in my content lately#most of the time alex only really features in posts that are about him and nigel together#and if every there was a subject i'd be making a post about for alex it would ofc be about him and his daddy issues#i think it's because strangely enough nigel is easier to get a handle on in terms of character introspection#but that's probably down to the fact that regardless of whether you believe the narrative alex gives about who nigel was#we at least DO get a more solidly constructed idea of his character (yes even if it is the version of him put forth by alex#designed to paint himself as the victim)#alex on the other hand? gohd damn walking rorschach pattern ink blot test of a character#like *holding him up by the scruff of his neck* what does this character look like#you could have interpretations for this guy out the wazoo and it'll probably be wildly different from the person standing next to you#but one think i can say with certainty is this guy has a complicated relationship with his father#i don't think he hates him. but i do think there's a lot of resentment there too#that quote from ladybird where she asks her mother if she likes her and the mother says of course she loves her#and ladybird asks but do you like me? and the mother just responds that she wants whats best for her#to which ladybird says what if this is the best version of me#or something#that's them#to me at least#i suppose that's why alex was as drawn to nigel as he was#yes nigel was also spouting on about predetermined destinies foretold by fate and whatnot#but the fundamental difference is that nigel leaves all the power to achieve that in alex's hands#the only thing he ever really asks of him is for alex to embrace his inner most desires. no matter how dark or twisted they may be#alex's father is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could live up to expectations#nigel is there telling him that a better version of himself exists if only alex could forgo expectations of himself entirely#if that makes sense 🤡
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neptuneiris · 2 months
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could you pretend to be in love? (06/10)
The Connection
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)
summary: an unexpected person from the past shows up and there is a family dinner to attend, resulting in disastrous thoughts and difficult decisions.
word count: 8.9k
previous part • next chapter • series masterlist
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the chapter is finally here!
sorry it took me so long, if you didn't see my last post go do it and you'll know why👀 but we can put it behind us now and I'm excited to tell you that the next chapter will finally give us that next level we've been waiting for so long!
I really hope it won't take me that long but for now, let's enjoy this new chapter and as always, I'll be very anxious to read your comments🥰
enjoy!
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The day of the dinner is slowly approaching.
And you still don't feel completely sure about it. However, despite your doubts and worries, you haven't backed out.
Mostly you think about what you're going to tell Aemond's mother by way of ruining things out of nervousness. Of course he should have already given her information about the relationship, but you're worried that she'll ask you questions and you won't know how to answer.
But that's not the reason she wants to get to know you… is it?
You think she probably just wants to know more about you, your likings, your non likings, your aspirations in life, your dreams, your family and things related to that.
Right?
You just hope so.
You've never done this before, meeting a guy's parents, ever. And you just get more nervous and feel more pressure knowing that Aegon and Helaena will be there too.
As well as you also feel guilty about the fact that they all think that you and Aemond are for real and you're just going to go there and convince them and assure them that you and Aemond are crazy about each other… when it's not true.
Now it's Thursday, tomorrow is dinner and Aemond doesn't seem at all concerned about it, when your thoughts are being completely tormented with it.
Still, you listen attentively to his words as you put away some books in your locker and he's standing next to you, leaning against the lockers, with the Romeo and Juliet book in his hands.
"Why did you make me read this shit? It's too hard to read and I don't like it," he says longingly.
You look away from your books to him and place a small amused smile on your lips at the sight of his face.
"It's like poetry and I don't like poetry, I don't understand it," he says frustrated, "I don't understand any of the weird rhyming they say."
"Well, Shakespeare has a unique way of expressing himself."
"Yeah, but what does he mean by 'My lips, two humble blazons, are ready to seal with a kiss softly'?" he recites reading the phrase with his brows furrowed and you let out a small laugh.
"Shakespeare loved beauty in words, even if it meant complicating things a bit."
"Yeah but why can't he just kiss her and be done with it without saying these weird words that give me cringe?"
"Come on," you give him an incredulous look, "It's romantic. The whole book is romantic with a tragic ending."
"This is definitely not romantic," he says incredulously and shaking his head, "It's weird, boring and makes me want to puke."
You look at him with a pout.
"You're not romantic at all."
"Excuse me?"
He immediately comes to defend himself, staring at you incredulously and completely indignant.
"I can be extremely romantic, thank you very much."
You raise your hands in a gesture of surrender, with a small smile as you see the spark of amusement in his gaze.
"You of all people should know that, you've witnessed it and you're the reason I do it mostly," he adds.
"But that's not… you know," you give him an expectant, knowing look.
"It's still romantic."
"No, it's not," you say with a laugh.
At your playful response, still busy at your locker, you don't notice and Aemond suddenly approaches. He takes your chin with one of his hands gently but firmly enough, causing you to look up at him, catching you off guard.
"What did you just say, my love?" he asks with a mischievous smile and amusement in his gaze, appearing serious and warning.
He brings his face closer to yours with a demanding gaze and your heart begins to pound as you let yourself be carried away by his proximity.
It is clear that he is going to kiss you, what does this mean if not kiss you? So you watch him expectantly and with your face lifted towards him, really looking forward to the sweet contact, your lips inches from his.
But first Aemond looks around briefly, wanting to make sure that some students in the hallway are watching you. When then, you see that he is overlooking a specific spot in the hallway.
You see how there is a slight glint in his eye and then he no longer moves.
You frown slightly, waiting. And before you can say or do anything, Aemond suddenly pulls away.
Confusion overtakes you and he clears his throat by averting his gaze, then smiles softly at you as if he wasn't about to kiss you seconds ago.
"Then I'll be more romantic next time," he says, taking his distance from you, as if trying to minimize the tense moment you've just shared.
Was he going to kiss you or not?
You can't just tell him to kiss you either, that he was going to, since this isn't real but… the change in his behavior confuses you, you don't quite understand what just happened and you don't know what to say.
"I have to go to the field now," he tells you, averting his gaze for a moment before looking at you again, "I'll see you in class, okay?"
"Hum… yeah, yeah, okay," you nod, still confused.
He gives you one last smile and before leaving, he gives your shoulder a light squeeze with his hand, another gesture that catches you off guard. Without a kiss on your forehead or cheek, as he usually does, he walks away.
You stand in the hallway, watching him go, with a mix of emotions you can't help but feel confused, uncertain and... disappointed.
Questions swirl around in your mind, but you don't have any answers. So shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you close your locker door and head to your next class.
Eventually you continue to run into him and he acts normal, as usual. He sits next to you in class, does the teacher's requested activities with you, and walks with you through the halls to the next class.
And everything is…normal, in a way.
Although he's still being kind and attentive, he's not being as affectionate as usual.
You can see how he's distracted, deep in thought from time to time, something is on his mind, something that you have no idea what it is but that keeps you alert, confused and makes you feel completely different from previous days.
You sense that the dynamic between you today has changed somehow, leaving you feeling bewildered.
And you don't know why.
Although it's not until break time that you find yourself sitting at a table alone, still feeling this awkwardness, when Alysanne comes in and drops the big bombshell on you that makes all the sense in the world.
"Why are you here eating so casually when I just saw your boyfriend catching up with his other ex-girlfriend?"
You raise your gaze to her almost instantly, with a mixture of surprise and confusion, a knot forming in your stomach as the weight of her words settle on your shoulders.
"What?"
"Yeah, Floris Baratheon," she says, then looks at you slightly confused, "How did you not know this?"
"What?" you repeat, not understanding.
"Floris Baratheon," she repeats to you slowly and clearly, "Dark hair, not as tall and certainly not as bitchy as Alys but still she falls into the category of girls who are superficial and think they are better than other girls," she explains to you.
Confusion lingers in your gaze, for despite the explanation, you still don't remember anything about a girl named Floris Baratheon at school.
"You really don't know who she is? Aemond didn't tell you about her?" asks Alysanne incredulously and your face answers her questions, "She transferred schools for a semester and just returned this morning. She and Aemond weren't actually dating but they had a thing when he and Alys broke up for like the twelfth time."
Your mind whirls as you process the information.
Honestly you had no idea about Floris' existence back in your invisibility days at school. Therefore, you also had no idea that she and Aemond had ever had any kind of relationship.
However… there is something you have an idea of at the moment.
This is why Aemond acted weird with you this morning, because of her. He must have seen her in the hallway and his demeanor changed completely.
"I-I didn't know that," you admit in a soft, low voice, trying to hide the uneasiness that is starting to creep up on you.
"Well, it's weird that Aemond didn't tell you anything, especially since I saw the two of them so comfortable and happy talking," she lets you know, "And I'm not telling you this with any malice or to make you feel bad, it's just that I think you should know, even though I thought you already knew."
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling a surge of emotions wash over you that you can't quite explain, nor can you avoid.
You're not sure what to think or how to react to this, but one thing is for sure; things between you and Aemond are likely to get complicated.
But what can you really do?
You and he aren't really dating. What's the point of asking him about it when it's really none of your business? Besides if he didn't talk to you about it before, when he saw her, it must be for this very reason.
You have no right here, even if you feel this.
"Do you want to get out of here?" asks you Alysanne later, noticing your face and probably everything that is invading your mind.
And soon enough, she takes you to the rooftop of the school, outdoors, where you just sit and watch the sky and listen to her while she smokes a cigarette, talking to you about Cregan being around her lately.
But as much as you want to give her your full attention and corroborate what she is telling you, you can't.
The rest of the classes are without Aemond, since you don't share them with him, and when the school day ends, still not knowing exactly whether to wait for him to drive you home or not, you head for the exit of the building, deep in thought.
"Hey."
You feel a hand grab your shoulder and when you turn your head without stopping moving forward, you find Aemond standing next to you.
"Hi," you reply softly, turning your gaze back to the front.
And he at your side gives you an attentive, curious and slightly confused look.
"Are you okay? I didn't see you at break," he says softly, "I also texted you and you didn't respond."
"Oh," your mind goes blank for a moment, "I was with Alysanne on the roof. She was talking to me about some things."
"Hmm," he nods, still watching you between a mixture of attentive and curious.
Then the two of you say nothing more, with the silence loud between the two of you and that tension emanating from your body, when you speak again.
"Are you going to drive me home today?" you decide to ask him, watching him, with that hesitation in your tone of voice and look.
And he frowns, watching you blankly.
"I always drive you."
You are about to speak but a third voice does it for you, stopping your steps and also Aemond's.
"Aem!"
The two turn their heads and there she is, Floris Baratheon.
Black hair, brown eyes, slender and absolutely beautiful features. She approaches with a smile, showing off her perfect, aligned teeth.
Everything about her screams money, as well as elegance, from her perfectly coiffed hair to her impeccable designer clothes and accessories.
And the moment she catches both your attention and Aemond's, you notice how he beside you tenses slightly.
"Hey," she gives him a charming smile and her full attention, placing herself in front of him, "The guys are going to get something to eat, I was just told. Do you want to join us? We can take off in your car and catch up some more."
"Hum…" he is silent for a moment, shooting you a nervous glance, scratching the back of his neck.
And throwing you another glance, this finally catches Floris' attention and she notices your presence as well.
"Oh… hi," she smiles softly at you.
Despite your nerves and how uncomfortable you're starting to feel, you force yourself to smile as kindly and genuinely as possible.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry, I don't think I know you," she tells you in an exaggeratedly kind tone of voice.
And this too finally gets Aemond to react.
"Yeah, right, that's my fault," he says trying to act nonchalant and completely relaxed, "Floris, this is Y/N, m-my girlfriend."
You watch as she parts her lips and her surprise is evident as she looks at Aemond and then turns her attention back to you.
"I-I didn't find the moment to tell you."
You instantly observe Aemond, with a look that even you can't explain and he suddenly can't control his nervous gestures anymore, giving a wary glance to you and then to Floris.
"Oh."
She turns her gaze back to you and though she tries to hide her surprise, the strength of her smile seems a bit forced as she holds out her hand to you.
"I'm Floris, nice to meet you."
And within everything you're feeling right now, like awkwardness and feeling out of place, you still shake your hand with hers.
"Nice to meet you."
Tension is in the air and Aemond looks hesitant for a moment. And you continue to feel like an intruder between them, getting in between the interaction of two people sharing a history you don't fully know about.
When Aemond speaks again.
"Floris is my…
He tries to tell you, but his words are left floating in the air.
Suddenly you see how he struggles and searches his mind for a way to introduce you to the girl he had a thing with in the past, only according to him, you don't know that, when certainly Alysanne already took care of it.
And just like you, you too feel Floris' anticipation, waiting for him to introduce her.
"An old friend," he finally says.
Floris arches an eyebrow slightly at Aemond's introduction, her lips curving into a smile that seems to contain more than just politeness.
"Yes, that," she punctuates, with a knowing look that to you does not go unnoticed, "Well, I just wanted to know if you were free for this afternoon. Although if you want you can bring your girlfriend with us," she proposes.
Aemond takes a moment to respond, averting his gaze as he scratches the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.
And that's when you decide to speak.
"You can go with them," you tell him and that immediately gets his attention and hers, "I can just take the bus or something and I'll see you later," you say to start walking away from both of them.
His attention and slight surprise is most visible on his face, but before you can move too far away, he grabs your hand and advances towards you.
"What? No" he immediately inquires, "No, I'll take you home."
The determination in his tone of voice and in his gaze makes you feel a little more comforted, but still, you can't shake this uneasiness in you about Floris' presence.
And that's when Aemond turns to her again without letting go of your hand.
"Sorry Floris, another time," he tells her in his firmer, slightly strained voice.
And she nods with a sympathetic look, though you can't help but sense there's something else behind her expression.
"Of course, I understand, it'll be for next time then," she says, before turning to you, "It was nice meeting you, Y/N."
And finally she is the first to walk away.
You exchange a look you can't quite describe with Aemond and feel the awkwardness and seriousness linger between the two of you, even as the two of you leave the building and make your way to his car.
And once in the passenger seat and with Aemond driving through the city streets, you find yourself fiddling with your fingers in your lap, still feeling the awkwardness in the air.
You don't understand exactly what's got you right now but you can't even see Aemond out of the corner of your eye, so you keep your gaze focused straight ahead and on the side where the window is.
"Are you okay?"
You suddenly hear his voice speak softly to you, feeling his gaze on you from time to time and you squirm a little in your seat before you speak, swallowing hard.
"Yeah, all good," you say, trying to sound convincing.
He exhales deeply, noticing your distance again.
"I'm sorry if the Floris thing made you uncomfortable. S-she…" he sighs, "She's truly a childhood friend. We had something in the past but it was very brief and it's no longer relevant."
And although there is nothing wrong with his words, you still can't help but feel a slight knot in your stomach. And you act completely unconcerned.
"I understand," you say simply, in a soft voice and still without looking at him.
But this is not convincing to Aemond, who licks his lips and can't help but worry about the situation.
"I mean it."
"Aemond," you call him softly, finally looking at him, "I understand, I really do," you assure him, "I also meant it when I said you should go eat with her and your friends. You seemed very uncomfortable and there was no problem from me."
He nods slowly, but still looks a little uneasy.
"I just didn't expect I was going to see her again."
And you don't know if that's worse.
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"Are you ready?"
Oh God, are you?
"I don't know," you answer honestly, nervously, looking at your outfit.
For this occasion you chose a pair of pants, ankle boots and a white tank top with a black jacket over it. You don't look overdressed but decent for the occasion, along with your makeup and hairstyle.
"Hey, easy," he says softly, placing both hands on your shoulders, "It's going to be okay. Besides we won't be alone, Aegon and Hel will be with us."
"Yeah but that's not what I'm worried about," you clarify, playing with your fingers, "What if I ruin everything?" you ask watching him fearfully, "What if everyone realizes that we're not really dating because of me?"
"I'll take care of that, don't worry," he assures you, with his soft gaze, "You just have to corroborate everything I say and stick to the main story. Other than that, my mother will just ask you questions about you to get to know you better."
"Are you sure?" you ask, not entirely convinced.
"Very," he affirms you, conveying calmness and assurance in his voice.
"You've done this before?" you can't help but ask, still with some hesitation, "I mean…" you lick your lips, nervous, "You've brought a girl before to dinner with your family?"
He is silent for a moment, as if considering how to answer, as the implication is clear because that's not the real question, you know that too.
Rather it is: have you ever brought Alys to dinner with your family before?
"Yes," he finally admits in a murmur, sincerely, "Yes, I have."
You stare at him silently, without the two of you saying anything else, only to look away and nod, again trying to look unconcerned, trying to calm your nerves further.
"My mother never liked her," he says later, again attracting your attention, "You know, Alys."
Again, you say nothing for a few moments, just lick your lips and nod.
"I understand."
Aemond lets out a heavy breath and takes a step towards you, lowering one of his hands to take one of yours, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of yours, this also immediately catching your attention, as you see him looking at you for a moment thoughtfully.
"Are you ready now?" he asks you softly, raising his gaze to you, "We can stay here a while longer if you want."
"No," you reply immediately, "No, I don't want to make everyone wait for us," you release a long breath, calming your nerves, "I'm ready now."
He places a small comforting smile on his lips.
"You'll do fine, trust me," he assures you then moves closer to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, just like at school.
His action definitely catches you off guard and you look at him slightly surprised, but Aemond doesn't give it that much importance, as if it was already a natural and routine thing between both of you, like a gesture of encouragement, to then take you by the hand together with him to the entrance of his house.
His house is nice and big, with a beautiful garden, so when you open the door, you see a huge and cozy living room with the dining room visible in the background, where you can make out Aegon's figure and his short silver hair.
Aemond closes the door behind you and you briefly look around, seeing the decorations of the elegant house, such as mirrors, flowers vases and also family photos.
Mostly, you see pictures of young children, which you recognize as Helaena, Aemond, Aegon and his other brother, Daeron.
There are also photos of what you assume is their mother and also a man, who you assume is the father, with Aemond and his siblings as children. But it strikes you that none of the four are smiling, just the mom a little.
There are more current pictures, only of Aemond, Helaena and Aegon smiling next to their mother, with no trace of their father and Daeron.
"He's my younger brother," he takes a single photo of a boy, standing next to you and handing it to you, "Daeron."
And just as you imagined, he's a boy of about fifteen with striking blue eyes and short silver hair, smiling at the camera with a bright face and looking in the background like he's standing in a lake at Honeyholt.
"Helaena was right," you say with a small smile, still inspecting the photo, "He really is the handsomest of the three of you."
"That's not true," he tells you immediately, taking the photo out of your hands and putting it back in its place with a quick, automatic gesture, making you laugh.
"What's up, bro?"
You both hear Aegon's voice and turn around, with the silver-haired man already walking towards you with a bottle of beer in his hand and a huge grin on his face.
"Are you drinking already?" Aemond inquires, "Mom's going to kill you."
"Oh, you know how persuasive I can be," he tells him without wiping off his smile, "Besides, I've already set the table," he points to the dining room, "It's dinner, bro."
"Careful," he warns you but he deliberately ignores him, heading in your direction.
"Y/N!" he exclaims your name smiling, coming over to embrace you, "Welcome to our home."
"Hi Aegon," you smile back at him.
He envelops you in a hug and you reciprocate cordially, instantly the strong smell of beer reaching your nostrils.
"Want one?" he points to the beer in his hand as he pulls away from you.
"I don't think so," Aemond answers him, again intertwining his hand with yours, "Where's mom?"
"In the kitchen with Hel" he points out, "Tell them to hurry, I'm starving," he says in a tone of voice that catches your attention.
But Aemond pulls you forward, starting to leave him behind, with a serious and disapproving look at his brother's attitude.
"It's the beer," he explains to you quietly, "I hate it when he drinks at home. I just hope it doesn't get unbearable later."
"Why?" you ask him, curious.
He shakes his head.
"Aegon is… complicated."
He doesn't say anything else and neither do you, mostly because he leads you toward the kitchen, but curiosity still lingers on that subject.
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze in a supportive gesture that comforts you as you both cross the threshold into the kitchen, where instantly the smell of delicious freshly baked food hits your nostrils.
And the first thing you notice is a silver hair along with a darker one, who you assume must be Aemond's mother.
And immediately your nerves again explode and you feel your heart pounding hard in your chest.
"Hey, Y/N!"
A friendly voice says to you, being Helaena, who is wiping her hands with a clean dish towel and wearing a beautiful blue dress, instantly heading towards you with open arms.
"Hi Hel," you smile back happily, hugging her enthusiastically.
"Oh I'm so happy you're in our home," she says excitedly and warmly without letting go of you, "We've prepared turkey, I hope you like it," she says as she pulls away from you.
"Oh I'm sure it will," you nod at her with a sincere smile, feeling welcomed by the warmth of her welcome.
"Mom."
Aemond's voice momentarily pulls you out of your conversation with Helaena and you turn your head to meet the gaze of Alicent, Aemond's mother.
Instantly you try to control your nerves and keep your composure, remembering his comforting words.
And when Alicent's gaze meets yours, a warm smile forms on his lips, which makes you feel less nervous and conveys a sense of calm. Although the nervousness lingers, you feel a little more secure with his kindness.
Aemond places a comforting hand on your shoulder and steps forward to introduce you.
"This is my girlfriend, Y/N," he points to you with his small smile, "And Y/N, this is my mom, Alicent."
She is a very beautiful woman.
It's the first thing that comes to your mind, noting the dimples in her cheeks and that warm look she has, not being intimidating at all and being rather kind.
Besides the dark green dress she wears is completely beautiful, as well as her accessories. Everything about her radiates elegance and poise.
"A pleasure to finally meet you, my dear," she says, turning to you, "Gosh, I was so excited to meet you. It's so nice of you to come."
And without expecting it, just like Helaena, she too greets you with a hug, taking you completely off guard, causing you to let out a nervous little laugh as you hug her back.
"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Hightower," you say softly, feeling slightly overwhelmed by her kindness and warmth.
"Please call me Alicent," she says as she pulls away from you.
Before all this you asked Aemond what to call her, just for the heck of it and to feel less nervous and he told you 'Hightower', the last name of her father.
So you assume that Aemond's father is not someone who gets mentioned much around here. In the family photos he is present in only one picture. And Aemond doesn't talk about him either.
And he watches with a small smile at the interaction between you and his mother, feeling relieved that things are going well so far.
"Please go and take your seats. Dinner will be served soon," she says to Aemond and you.
"Do you need help?" he asks her.
"I'm already doing it myself," Hel says, "Don't worry, little brother."
"Can you help me with your brother, please," Alicent tells him, with a look of slight concern.
"Of course," he assures her in a gentle tone.
Soon the two of you return to the dining room, the two of you take a seat together with Aegon and Aemond tries to tell him not to overdo it with his drinks, that you are here to enjoy a nice dinner with his family.
But he just makes nonchalant gestures and tells him that everything is fine, to continue drinking, looking at the screen of his phone, waiting for dinner.
Then you don't know how much time passes exactly but Alicent returns very soon along with Helaena with the food, placing the dishes in the center of the table, indicating that all this will start soon.
Aemond places his hand on top of yours underneath the table, giving you every supportive gesture possible, reassuring you at every turn that he can that all will be fine.
Every brush of his fingers against yours conveys reassurance and comfort.
You feel a slight relief as you feel his touch, reminding you that you are not alone at this moment and his presence gives you strength to face any nervousness that may arise during dinner.
And with the food finally served, the silverware begins to clink against the plate glass as everyone begins to enjoy the delicious dinner.
Aemond, like the supposed boyfriend in love with you, is totally attentive to you, asking if you're served this or that, wanting to make sure you're well received and comfortable to make this more bearable.
And you thank him all the way, feeling his mother's gaze on both of you from time to time, without wiping away her warm smile.
"Did you like the food, dears?" she asks generally.
"Oh yes," Helaena says with a look of total complicity, delighting in the food.
"It's delicious, Mom," Aemond tells her later.
"Totally," you corraborate politely, nodding in her direction.
Alicent smiles in satisfaction and then turns her attention to Aegon, who hasn't said anything since everyone started eating.
"How about you, son?" she asks him softly.
"It's fine," he says curtly, taking a huge swig from his bottle of beer.
This definitely gets your attention but Alicent as well as Aemond and Helaena decide not to give it enough attention, as if they're already used to it and don't want to ruin the moment by his behavior.
But you do notice the disapproval in each of their looks, especially the disappointment in Alicent. Though she almost instantly turns her attention away from Aegon to Aemond and you.
"So, how long have you two been dating exactly?" she asks curiously and without losing the kindness in her gaze and tone.
"A month," Aemond replies without hesitation at your side, resting one of his arms on the back of your chair.
And Alicent shakes his head with a small smile on his lips.
"And I still can't believe he kept you hidden from me, Y/N."
You smile in his direction, trying not to let your nerves give you away, as Aemond again interjects, with a soft look.
"We didn't want to rush things."
"I told him not to take too long to tell you," Helaena says as well, pointing at Aemond as she watches her mother.
"But he didn't tell me anything, Aegon did," Alicent says in amusement.
"Oh come on, I was going to tell you anyway," Aemond tries to justify himself.
"Oh you were going to?" Hel questions him.
"You want to turn her against me."
"I'm just telling the truth, little brother."
This causes Alicent to laugh softly and his gaze meets yours, where you laugh softly too, as the fight between Aemond and Hel continues. But this causes you to begin to feel comfortable and more at ease with the whole situation.
The only thing at the table that is completely serious is Aegon, who continues to concentrate on his drink and the food in front of him.
His reserved attitude contrasts with the energy you have with Aemond, his mother and sister, but they don't really give him much attention and everyone continues to enjoy the delicious food and create topics of conversation.
"So…" Alicent begins to speak, watching you with her warm gaze, "What are your college plans, sweetie?"
Oh my God.
Okay, it's happening.
You think as you slowly start to panic, but quickly get yourself under control, settling back in your seat.
"You're all graduating soon," she points to her kids with a small smile.
And you're about to speak but someone else does first.
"Which wouldn't be the case if Aegon hadn't repeated year… twice," Hel says condescendingly, pouring herself more food in a casual gesture.
"Helaena," Alicent reprimands her in a soft tone.
"Don't start with me."
Aegon's voice finally makes itself heard in a long time, speaking in a cold, curt tone, not even observing his sister, focused on his food.
"Just saying," Helaena says also with a pout in his direction.
"Then speak for yourself. You're a year behind too."
"Ugh," she sighs, "You talk like you don't know what happened."
"That's enough," Alicent says calmly, watching you both with a look of silent warning.
The atmosphere tenses slightly and all is silent for a moment, as you notice how Aemond next to you only runs a hand over his chin and you only hear the clink of silverware clattering against glass plates.
Alicent then turns his gaze to you and there you decide to speak, hoping to restore comfort to the atmosphere.
"Well, actually, I've applied to Oldtown University," you say with a soft smile, controlling your nerves, "I'm planning on getting into law school."
Surprise flashes across Alicent's face, as you briefly feel Aemond watching you beside you.
"Oh, wow," she nods slowly, her expression one of amazement, "What a coincidence, that's the same college Aemond wants to go to."
Aemond nods with a small smile, completely keeping up appearances.
"Yes," he confirms, "In fact it's perfect for us to go to the same place after graduation."
And just to show more affection with you, he places his hand and yours intertwined on top of the table, watching you with that 'love' he seeks to convey in these moments in front of his mother.
And Alicent watches you both with her soft smile, but is still intrigued by you.
"And why that choice? Law is something you always wanted to study?" she asks you, with genuine interest in her voice.
You try not to focus too much on the way Aemond's thumb begins to gently caress the skin on the back of your hand, which at the same time also reassures you.
And you nod in Alicent's direction.
"Yes, it's something I've always been interested in. It's a very heavy degree with very dense material, but it's very interesting and it's long been what I've decided for myself."
Alicent nods in your direction, listening to you intently and looking completely interested.
"And I guess at Oldtown it's a great opportunity to want to study law."
"Oh yes," you say eagerly, "Oldtown has one of the best faculties with very capable professors and all the material you need. It's certainly a great opportunity."
"But I also think that getting to study at such an in-demand university with few places in that major can be difficult," she tells you corroborating in conversation.
"Yeah, that's the bad thing, but…" you shrug, "I'm hopeful."
You watch subtly beside you, focusing for a moment on Aemond, speaking with that complicit tone, as of course he doesn't forget that the reason you're here doing this is precisely because of Oldtown.
He knows that all too well too.
"And your parents are supportive of your decision to study law?"
Slight surprise passes across your face, definitely not expecting that question, but you quickly manage to soften your face, though you still remain silent for a moment.
You try to hide any trace of bewilderment as you search for a suitable answer. And it is Alicent's same warm gaze that encourages you to respond.
"Uh… yes, my father is just as excited as I am about this possible opportunity," you reply with a small smile, being honest, "He has always supported me in all my decisions."
You respond without saying anything else and with sincerity, not mentioning anything about your mother.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he nods at you and smiles warmly, "And what about your mother, dear?" she asks with genuine curiosity.
Inevitably your whole body tenses at that moment. And an uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you think again about how to respond.
You honestly didn't expect the conversation to get to this point, about how even after talking only about your father, you're still being asked about your mother.
And for a moment, you don't know what to say or what to do, but you finally decide to react after everything falls into an awkward silence and they begin to look at you slightly confused by your lack of response.
Until you decide to be honest.
"Well, I-I…" you bite your lips, "I don't actually live with her," you admit in a soft voice, avoiding eye contact for a moment, "And I haven't seen her since I was six."
Slight concern crosses Alicent's face, instantly watching you in regret.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie," she says sincerely, embarrassed to have caused you discomfort, "I had no idea. I apologize."
You're about to tell her it's okay, that it's no problem because she didn't know, that it's no big deal, but you don't even get a chance to speak when sudden laughter is heard throughout the dining room.
The tension in the air dissipates in that instant as everyone turns to the source of the laughter, Aegon.
He is visibly drunk, but still conscious enough to know what is going on around him and that is what is alarming.
Alicent, Helaena and Aegon's faces fill with bewilderment and disapproval, except for yours, as you watch Aegon in confusion, not quite understanding what is going on.
"Aegon," Alicent calls to him now truly annoyed, watching him seriously and reproachfully.
But Aegon barely manages to contain his laughter as he apologizes between laughs.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he mutters, his tone full of amusement and insolence.
Then Aemond at your side watches him completely serious, his jaw clenched and his gaze dark, holding back his fury at his reaction after you shared a very intimate and sensitive piece of information to you.
And Aegon laughs at it because of his own stupidity? Of course he's not going to allow that.
"What's so funny?" he inquires, expectant and about to explode.
Aegon straightens in his chair, a smirk on his face.
"Oh, nothing," he replies mockingly, "I just think she and you are perfect for each other. Apparently, we're not the only ones who have parental issues, are we?"
He asks watching his mother and sister, which makes Alicent feel even more tense, watching you worried and apologetic about the little show her eldest son is putting on.
"That's enough," she reprimands him firmly.
But Aegon seems determined to move on and turns to you again with a gesture of camaraderie, ignoring his mother's words and his brother's attitude.
"Don't worry, Y/N," he tells you with a crooked smile, "You can talk about it here and no one will judge you. All of us would understand, wouldn't we? We who wouldn't know about the subject of fucking neglectful parents with their kids."
Aemond's gaze becomes even more intense and his jaw tighter, watching his brother as if he could throw daggers at him with his eye.
"Shut the fuck up," he orders him, controlling himself as much as he can at that moment.
"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him worriedly.
"Or what?" Aegon challenges him, "She better know what she's getting herself into once and for all. With our fucking family traumatized by her own father who never cared about us."
"I said shut the fuck up," Aemond demands of him rising from his chair, causing everyone at the table to become alarmed.
Alicent rises at about the same time he does, and Helaena rises next, alert and worried, while you and Aegon continue to sit, he still unconcerned and you… because you don't even know how to feel about it.
The tension is too much, this is all unexpected and it's all happening too fast. And as if things couldn't get any worse, Aegon continues to talk and drink more.
"I'm just saying you two are the perfect match," he continues, his tone increasingly amused, "She doesn't have a mom and you don't have a dad, bro. Awesome, isn't it?"
Then it all happens too fast.
Aemond advances towards Aegon with a furious determination on his face that puts everyone at the table on alert, reaches towards him and grabs him hard by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to get up.
"Aemond!"
Alicent and Helaena immediately intervene, rushing towards them to stop them, but Aegon doesn't even have time to react before he finds himself on his feet, with Aemond holding him tightly.
"Stop it, Aemond!" exclaims Alicent, his tone full of authority and concern.
You finally rise from your seat as well, alert and worried, not knowing exactly what to do or what to say, feeling your pulse racing.
Then Aegon reacts as well, his face transforming into one of rage, placing his hands on top of his brother's.
"Get your fucking hands off me," he manages to say with difficulty.
"I told you to shut the fuck up or didn't I?"
"Oh and now you're going to hit me? Huh?" he asks, punching him in the chest with his hands, "You're going to hit me? And for what? For telling the truth?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you huh!? You fucking cunt," Aemond hits him back in the chest.
"Let go of me, you fucking asshole!"
"That's enough!" Alicent intervenes again, her voice firm and full of authority, "Aemond, let go right now!" she orders, furious, implying that she won't repeat it a fourth time.
The tension in the room seems to increase with each passing moment, as you hold your breath, watching Aemond worriedly, as does Helaena.
Aemond hesitates for a moment, glaring at his brother with determination, until he finally releases him with a tug, pulling away from him still watching him in warning and utter annoyance.
Aegon straightens, rubbing his neck as he glares at his brother resentfully.
"I don't need this shit. Enjoy your fucking dinner," he says grumpily, grabbing his bottle of beer and heading for the stairs, not giving anyone a glance.
At least your pulse starts to calm down when you see how it's finally all over, but you still watch Aemond worriedly.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Alicent turns to you sorrowfully, averting your gaze to her, "What a shame."
"No, no, don't worry…
You start to say in a soft tone when Aemond's serious but definitely kinder voice makes itself heard in your direction.
"I'll wait outside."
The three of you watch him silently and watch as with nonchalant gestures he takes his car keys from his front pocket and with his face still contained in fury, heads out of the house.
With a lump in your throat, you turn to Alicent and Helaena, feeling the weight of tension still hanging in the air even so.
"Thank you so much for dinner. It was nice to meet you," you say to Alicent, trying to sound as calm, gentle and kind as possible.
Alicent smiles sadly back at you, still with her saddened and troubled face.
"It was lovely to meet you and have you come, honey," she tells you sincerely, "Still I'm so sorry. It wasn't my plan for dinner to end like this."
"I totally understand, don't worry," you say with a small smile, "We can always do it again."
You say and immediately regret it, but manage to soften your face in time.
This was supposed to be the only time you would do this, but you feel you owe it to her, to Alicent, as she prepared a delicious dinner with great care. She seemed so excited and happy about everything, especially about you coming that it is such a shame that this happened.
More than anything else that's why you say so.
"Of course," she nods to you, kindly and cordially.
You bid her goodbye with a gentle hug, then embrace Helaena as well, conveying your silent support through the simple gesture.
"If you need to talk, we can do it at school," she murmurs in your ear before releasing you.
"Sure," you promise, returning the hug gratefully.
You take one last look at both of them and head out of the house. And once outside, you feel a shiver run down your spine as you face the cool night air.
And there you see him, in the middle of the night silence and at the edge of the street, leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette with an almost absent gesture, looking thoughtful but also still a little upset about what happened.
You watch as he lets the smoke go between his parted lips and you, letting out a long breath, head towards him.
When he looks back at you, you too just watch him silently and he wordlessly opens the driver's door with a soft squeak and gets in the car, so you follow after him, feeling the weight of silence between you.
You too slide into the passenger seat and close the door, where soon the two of you find yourselves moving through the quiet streets of the city, the music on the radio playing at a low volume in the background.
And that's the only sound between you, the music, and even then it's a little uncomfortable.
You bite the inside of your cheek, struggling to find the right words as the tension lingers, but you don't even know what to say. What are you supposed to say when that happened?
But finally it's Aemond who breaks the silence.
"I hope you enjoyed the show," he murmurs, not taking his eye off the road.
You are momentarily speechless, not knowing what to say at that, not even finding the right words in your mind. Then you let out a low sigh, understanding how he must be feeling.
You mean… you went to meet his mother, it was a family dinner, everything was going well and to suddenly have it all end like that with very personal confessions that you had no idea about… it must be completely frustrating for him that you witnessed that.
"Are you okay?" you ask him in a low, soft tone, watching him intently, concerned and understanding.
He lets out a long breath, pursing his lips as he considers your answer, saying nothing for a moment. But when he finally does, he says it in a voice laden with weariness, regret and seriousness.
"I'm not even upset that Aegon said all that… he… he's right," he says resentfully, "I'm upset that you had to witness it."
The weight of his words falls on you, sensing Aemond's seriousness and frustration in his words. You watch his serious and weary face, the fury he is still holding back.
And for a moment, you look like you're not going to say anything, but after biting your lips, you finally speak.
"You don't have to worry about me," you tell him in a soft voice, "After all, he was right about what he said about my mother too," you add, seeking to offer some comfort, "I don't even remember her, you know? And honestly… it doesn't affect me nor do I care."
If your words caused anything in him, he doesn't show it, as he continues with his eye focused on the road.
But inside, he can't help but feel a little surprised and amazed at your ability to accept those circumstances with such calm and determination compared to him.
And finally he nods, understanding the truth of your words.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper.
You watch him with a soft and… slightly thoughtful gaze, feeling the tension between the two of you finally begin to fade, resulting in a warm and pleasant atmosphere for the two of you, as usual.
And unexpectedly for him, you take his free hand gently and intertwine your fingers with his, offering a small gesture of support amidst still the frustration he is feeling.
"I don't," you confess softly.
You don't say anything else and neither does he, hoping you can put this behind you. And all along the way, he keeps gently stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.
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You wait anxiously, moving your foot repeatedly up and down, glancing from time to time at your surroundings and also at the screen of your phone, wanting to keep the time very much in mind.
The gentle morning breeze caresses your face, with the sun painting golden hues in the morning sky and listening in the background to the birds singing, but also all the movement of the soccer team training early at this hour from the field.
Everything seems to be calm, except for your racing heartbeat, where you avoid biting your nails and simply bite your lips in a nervous gesture, as well as the inside of your cheek.
Then you finally see Aemond approaching with his backpack on his shoulder and his face soft.
"Hey," he says softly, taking a seat in front of you, taking off his backpack and watching you carefully, "What's up? Is everything okay?"
Out of nerves, your whole body tenses and you avoid stuttering as you speak, stirring in your seat.
"Yeah, yeah, just…" you lower your gaze, playing with your fingers, "I just want to talk to you about something."
Aemond nods, giving you his full attention.
"Well? What is it?" he asks you warmly, not wanting to put pressure on you as he notices all the tension that is invading you at the moment.
But he honestly starts to worry seeing you that way.
And you swallow hard, with your gaze lowered, feeling the need to just let it out and nothing more, having that urge so you don't keep torturing yourself with your destructive thoughts.
"I was thinking that… maybe…" you let out a sigh, "Maybe we should stop this," you mutter, your voice barely a whisper.
And Aemond only watches you more intently, beginning to look alert, furrowing his brows in confusion.
"Stop what?"
You bite the inside of your cheek hard, completely flustered.
"Our fake relationship," you reply cautiously, watching him intently and with some concern.
"What?" he immediately queries you, "I-I don't-I don't understand."
"I think we've both accomplished what we wanted to… oh well, almost everything," you tell him knowingly, "But we've already put on a good show in front of the whole school, Alys is upset enough, and the cheating thing is behind us. We should stop."
You explain but in the middle of all your explanation, Aemond only frowns more, listening to you completely attentive, watching you surprised and incredulous.
"And the trip to Dragonstone?" he inquires you, with a serious and alert look, "That trip is key, it would be great for both of us to go together, as a couple."
You try to remain calm, but your heart is pounding and your nerves are getting the better of you.
"Yes, I know, but… do we really need to keep pretending?" you ask, "You've already saved your reputation, remember?"
Aemond shakes his head firmly, his jaw tense with mounting frustration.
"It's still not enough," he tells you seriously, "At least wait until after the trip."
"Aemond, I don't see why we should wait until then," you mutter, unsure, "We can finish everything now."
Aemond's expression hardens, his jaw tense with frustration as he tries to understand you.
"Y/N, the trip is in the contract," he tells you firmly, "And we agreed to finish everything until graduation."
You exhale, feeling the overwhelming weight of the situation that you didn't expect was going to get this bad the moment you decided to do this.
"I know, but I don't see the point of this anymore."
He becomes more confused, shaking his head, looking at you confused and now completely frustrated.
"What-what's wrong?" he asks you in a soft but urgent voice, attentive, "Did something happen?" he asks you concerned and interested, "Did something happen that I still don't know about?"
Oh God.
Fear grips you as you struggle to keep your composure and not let your nerves get the better of you.
"Or is this because of the dinner thing? And because of Alys' pranks?" he asks you worriedly, "If it's that, tell me. I-I'll find a way to fix it. You won't have to go to dinner at my house again and I'm sure I can talk to Alys."
"No, no… I-I…" you sigh, "It's not that-
He shrugs, looking at you confused and frustrated.
"Then what is it?"
Your heart pounds as you struggle to keep your composure in front of him.
Your words get stuck in your throat, enduring Aemond's still serious, worried and frustrated look on you, waiting for an explanation. But the feeling of panic grows in your chest and you resign yourself completely.
"Nothing, forget it," you say in a whisper, lowering your gaze.
You stand up and gather your things, slinging your backpack over your shoulder, just as Aemond sighs and looks more frustrated.
"Y/N," he calls your name in a tired gesture.
But you don't heed him, just focus on getting away from him,
"Y/N, please stop," he says to you in a soft but urgent voice.
But you don't stop, you can't.
How could you do it and how could you tell him that the real reason you decided to bring this up to your fake boyfriend is because maybe you are actually falling in love with him and the feeling is getting more and more intense, and you can't help it?
You just can't.
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general taglist:
@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @iloveallmyboys
298 notes · View notes
sunny44 · 11 months
Text
Surprise
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x mom!wife! Reader
Warnings: just fluff
Summary: Surprising Lewis with little Hamilton’s first time in the paddock.
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Lewis and I met in Spain when we were on vacation.
I was on vacation from my job and he was on summer break and by some kind of miracle we met in a bar.
I was alone drinking while my friends were dancing, I was excited that we were going to go out until minutes before my ex-boyfriend had the courage to send me an invitation to his wedding with the woman he cheated on me with.
My mother had sent me a message warning me because the address he knew was the address of my parents' house.
So this let me down completely.
Not that I was still in love with that idiot, far from it, but the fact that he had the courage to invite me made me realize that I have spent three years of my life with that person who didn't even deserve one month of my time.
And that's when Lewis showed up, I guess the fact that he found a sad woman in a bar, drinking alone on a Friday night caught his attention.
That's when we started talking and I as a person completely uninterested in any kind of sport didn’t knew who he was, in fact I only found out months later that we were already talking.
He didn't hide who he was, in fact he told me both his name and what he did, but he didn't specify that he was a formula 1 driver and that he was one of the best ones that existed.
We exchanged numbers and talked for months until he was in England for a race and invited me to go, this was when I fell in love with the sport but also where I realized how much damage it would do to my life just to be seen with him.
People found my social medias which at the time were bombarded with horrible comments about me and my appearance and that it was impossible for him to be with a person like me.
It was then where I became terrified and distanced myself a bit from him because of this. After much insistence he managed to convince me to go out to dinner with him.
That same night he was honest with me, that if we decided to try to have a relationship unfortunately it would be like that, people hating me without even knowing me and telling lies about me.
In other circumstances I would have walked away because this life of being known was not for me, I liked being unknown to the public eye and that the amount of people who would judge me would be less than being the girlfriend of the most famous Formula One driver.
But I knew that if I didn't take the risk I would miss out on one of the best things that would happen in my life, and now I'm sure I would have regretted it.
Lewis and I have been together for 5 years now, and every day I realize how much in love with him I am.
The first years of our relationship were very hectic, the weeks away for races and events, the thousands of messages exchanged during the day and FaceTime calls at night, and those were also the most complicated years of the relationship.
It was like a test, a test to know if the relationship would survive the thousands of lies about betrayal from both parts, the manipulated photos to look like things that weren’t true, the nights of crying and tears for not knowing what to believe even though we were absolutely sure that everything was just a big lie.
I'm sure these years were essential for both of us to learn to trust each other.
——————
It was the weekend of the Silverstone GP and I had lied to Lewis that I couldn't go because I had a lot of work to do, but in fact here was Luke and I in the car heading to the track.
Lucas Hamilton was our 3 year old son. This would be his father's first race that he would be watching straight from the garage.
When we found out that I was pregnant, we agreed that above all, Luke would be preserved from the toxicity of the internet. His fans knew that he existed and also knew his name because when he was born we thought it was only fair that the fans knew about him from us and not from the paparazzi, but they had never seen more than a small body in the pictures we posted.
Lewis had already shown interest in taking the little one to watch him race but I still didn't feel comfortable about showing him to the world, but I knew how much he wanted me to go this weekend and I also knew how upset he was that I couldn't go.
So nothing better than to surprise him with our presence plus Luke's first time.
Toto had helped me with the plan, sent me the paddock passes and let the security guards know that I would be here.
I got out of the car, I put the paddock passes on mine and Luke’s neck and carefully pulled him out of the car.
"Where's daddy?" He asks as soon as I lock the car and we start walking towards the paddock.
"We're going to go see him now okay?" He agrees and takes my hand again as soon as we enter the paddock
As soon as they recognized me the cameras all turned to me and with Lewis Hamilton's faceless son along it was as if the photographers multiplied.
As we were getting close to the garage, Lewis was coming out of it with Roscoe along with him and as soon as Luke saw him he let go of my hand and came out screaming.
"Daddy." Lewis recognized that little voice on and he opened the most beautiful smile as soon as he saw his son running up to him, even Roscoe started barking.
"Hey buddy." He bent down and picked him up on his hip. "What are you doing here?"
"Me and mommy came to see you." He says excitedly and soon he sees me. "I missed you daddy."
"I missed you too buddy." Just then the three of them come toward me. "You said you were going to work."
"I lied, I wanted to surprise you."
"You sure surprised me." He gives me a kiss.
"It's bad to lie mommy."
"It really is, isn’t." Lewis says in a teasing tone. "We're going to have to ground Mommy."
"That's right."
"Are you taking your father's side?" He agrees.
Luke was definitely a daddy's boy, besides being an exact copy of Lewis, even more now that he’s bigger, the only thing that’s the same as me is the eyes, Lewis has dark eyes and mine’s are green.
"Daddy can I sit in your car?"
"Of course you can, let’s ask uncle Toto to give you some gloves too, come on."
We pulled into the garage where Lewis put Luke into the car, after we were together for a while Lewis had to go because the race was going to start and when he won we ran to the front of the podium where as soon as he jump out of the car he came running over to where we were.
And I could have sworn that this race was the most special one for him.
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Bonus scene!
Y/nhamilton instagram post
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Liked by @lewishamilton, @anthonyhamilton, @mercedesf1, @sebastianvettel and others 91939
Y/nhamilton The best Weekend we had in a long time. Me and Luke had the best time here in Silverstone and there’s nothing better than an F1 race, specially when daddy win the race.
Thanks to everyone that came to support my husband, Lewis and our family really appreciate the love.
Tagged: @lewishamilton
LewisHamilton thanks for everything, you are the best mama and I’m so lucky to have you. Thanks for bringing our baby boy to the race.
Y/nhamilton we love you so much
Sebastianvettel so nice to see the two of you this weekend, beautiful family
Y/nhamilton thank you Seb, we have to plan a meeting with the kids
Yourmom miss you guys so much, the three of you have to come visit. He also looks a lot like Lewis.
Liked by LewisHamilton and y/nhamilton
1K notes · View notes
fleurrreads · 2 months
Text
the love you give . rhysand x reader
an: i absolutely love rhys and would absolutely burn down the world for him. god knows he deserves someone who would do for him what he’s done for others.
based on this request
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your relationship with rhys is complicated. you’ve been having this friends-who-coincidentally-make-love type of thing going on and you really don’t know how to talk to him about it. yes, he’s told you multiple times during sex how he loves you. but that can all just be the heat of the moment, right? surely the flutter in your heart didn’t mean anything?
just like today is no different. you watch rhys sit up from the bed, grabbing his pants and walking over to your dresser to get one of his shirts that he has recently started leaving in your room. ‘i’m here so much i might just as well start leaving my clothes in here’ he said one afternoon after your activities. it made your heart race, those silly little words.
“what’s going on in that brilliant mind of yours, angel?” rhys moves to sit down on the bed, caressing your hair. you’ve been debating telling him. telling him that he makes your world spin. that he basically *is* your world. the suppressed feelings bubbling over in your heart wasn’t going to be kept dormant for long. you know you have to let it out eventually. what better time than now?
“i’m just thinking about something i’ve been meaning to talk to you about. something i’m not sure i know how to say.” you’re fidgeting with your hands, a nervous tick you’ve acquired through the years. “i don’t know how to phrase this other than saying it flat out, rhys. i like you, a lot. we’ve been friends for so long and i’ve felt that you’re more than just my friend. i love you, rhys.” you don’t dare look at him, too scared of the reaction he might have on his face. you feel the tension before you can look at him, and then he does the unimaginable.
he laughs.
a loud, cackling laugh. you feel your whole body go cold. rhys stands up, nearly doubling over as he tries to gather himself. “post-sex emotions really got you bad today, huh? you’re even confessing your love to me now. that one is new right? we should add that to the list.” he smiles and you feel your whole world spin, not in a good way anymore. you feel like the air has been stolen from your lungs and tears prickle at your lash line. is this what he thought this was? your post-sex hormones being heightened and you confessing out of lust?
you swallow the lump forming in your throat, standing up from the bed and grabbing the nearest piece of clothing to make yourself decent. you need to get out. right now. “you’re right, this was a stupid idea to say this to you and think you’d care. hormones right?” a pathetic excuse for a laugh leaves your lips as you move to the door. you don’t see the smile drop from rhys’ face as you shut the door, making your way to your apartment, away from the townhouse, away from him.
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it’s been twelve days. twelve days since you’ve been near the house of wind, the townhouse, and anywhere near him. you couldn’t stand to see his face after he basically insinuated that your confession was that of lust and that you weren’t thinking straight. when in fact you were probably never thinking more clear than that moment. you love him. with your entire heart. it never occurred to you that your heart would be crushed by him too.
a hard collection of knocks rip you from your thoughts as you make your way to the door. amren always had a way of knocking like hell was at her tail, which it probably was now that you think about it… “yes, dear mother, amren you don’t need to knock the door down i’m-“ your voice is cut off as you’re face to face with rhys, a disheveled messy version of him at least. “what do you want, rhys?” your tone is cold, causing him to wince. he nods towards your living room, “can i come in, please? i need to talk to you.”
you nearly give him the loud and obnoxious laugh he gave you twelve days ago when he dismissed your feelings like that so easily. but you push the anger and hurt down, nodding. “make it quick.”
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a homemade cup of coffee in hand, rhys sits down on your couch with you on the opposite side. you don’t dare get too close. rhys meets your eyes, trying to decipher what might be going on in your head right now, what you must think of him. he’s had the roughest twelve days. he went over the conversation you had with him at least a hundred times, and each time he relived that look on your face he nearly cried. “i’m sorry for how i reacted that night. i should’ve never let you leave like that. i just didn’t want to believe it.” he says softly, softer than you’ve ever heard him speak. “believe what, rhys?” you tilt your head. “believe that you’d actually love me. this version of me. the one you get to see and others don’t. the side of me that makes me scared, and the one that i can’t show anyone without showing them i’m vulnerable. i couldn’t believe that you’d love that… that ugly part of me. i shouldn’t have said it was just lust clouding your mind. you and i both know you’re much smarter and more thoughtful than that. you wouldn’t just say things like that without meaning it and i should’ve told you this a few days ago already but i was afraid. afraid i messed it up before it could happen. before i could love you and declare it from the top of the snowy mountains.”
your tears are flowing as you look at rhys, really looking at him. he’s shaking, that nervous tick of yours now prominent on him as he’s picking his nails. your heart and mind is running at a million miles a minute and you take a deep breath to ground yourself before you take his hands in yours.
“rhys, i know this took a lot for you to say, and i know that you’re scared. i’m scared too. i’ve never felt like this with anyone before. i love every part of you, especially the parts you don’t show anyone else. it’s like i get a piece of you all to myself. that part of your soul. it’s more intimate than sex, it’s so raw and pure and natural that it feels like someone completely different. not the high lord of the night court, not the rhysand your family sees, just rhys. my rhys. those things don’t make you ugly, rhys. they make you strong, and powerful and amazing. that’s why i wanted you to know that someone can love those parts of you too. not just the charismatic, sarcastic persona you put on for your friends and loved ones. and not the cold, ruthless leader that the court of nightmares believes you to be. but just you. the true you. i love everything about you, all of it.”
rhys kisses you, passionately. you’ve never had a kiss like this with him. never one with such meaning as this. this one was different. as to say ‘thank you for loving me even when it’s hard to see why’ and you realise that you’d burn the world down for him if he asked. he deserves the world, and so much more. everything he has sacrificed for his people and his family, he deserves that same sacrifices made for him tenfold.
he cups your cheek, whispering so softly you nearly don’t catch it but it makes all the heartbreak and doing it all again worth it, “i love you. until my last dying breath.”
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AITA for indulging in my boyfriend's cuck kink?
Alright, so for some background, both me (25, M, panromantic asexual) and my BF (28, M, bisexual) live in a VERY conservative rural area, literally NOBODY knows we're together even though we've been dating for years and the community is pretty tight-knit, that's how much effort we've put into hiding ourselves. We've thought about moving out but honestly other than the constant threat of being found out our life here is pretty great, we know everyone in the community and are on very friendly terms with them, we were both born and raised here so we're honestly kinda scared of losing everything and starting over in a new place, plus I really want to stay to support my dad because I know he can already get pretty lonely as is (mom works out of town, only visits for holidays if even that, plus I don't have any other siblings to keep him company) and me moving away would hurt him a lot.
Now, with that out of the way onto the actual situation: the cuck thing is something me and my boyfriend have discussed about at length, he's not shy about it to me and I'm always glad to make him happy so I'd be open to trying it if the opportunity arose. The thing is- I never really thought there WOULD be an opportunity for it due to the circumstances described above. Well, that was until a girl we both know confessed to me on Christmas Eve. That girl- let's call her Ellie (23, F, straight(?))- is someone I've actually had feelings for a while now (my BF knows and told me he'd be fine with me dating her as an 'official' relationship, but only if I keep us a secret), however I never did anything about those feelings. I was honestly kinda shocked when the confession happened, but in a good way, and I ended up accepting in the heat of the moment, so now me and Ellie have been 'officially' dating for about a month.
Here's where I think I might be the asshole: since that happened my BF has started to hang out with the two of us while we're acting like a very lovey-dovey couple and he's obviously been getting off on that (as in, it's obvious to me, doubt anyone else picked up on it) and I've been having mixed feelings about this. On one hand we did talk about it and agree to it, but on the other I do think this is unfair to Ellie in a way that I didn't realize previously because I never realistically considered this happening. My BF is reassuring me, saying that it's best we keep hidden anyway and that so long as nobody finds out no harm is done, but I still feel kinda bad about it, yet at the same time I don't really know what I should do in this situation to make it right. The whole thing only gets even more complicated when you account for the fact that Ellie is our pastor's granddaughter and as such comes from a very well known family in our community, a family that has a reputation to uphold, and if the thing about me and my BF came out it would surely impact her badly in that way as well. On the other, she really gets along with my son (8, M) and I really think that she'd make a great mother to him so I don't want to deprive him of that and break things off just because of my own personal drama. On the other OTHER hand I also don't want to break up with my BF because it would feel cruel in my opinion, especially when I very much still love him.
So, AITA for keeping my promise and just going along with this and keeping quiet to save myself and my BF?
What are these acronyms?
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thedirtygridd · 1 year
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MY STEP BROTHER IS PIERRE GASLY…
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WARNINGS - 18+, sexual content
Summary - You are still an innocent virgin, but one guy gives you feelings that you can’t quite explain….but it’s made complicated by the fact that this person is in fact Pierre Gasly…..your step-brother. (Based on a request. Kept them coming! )
You often wondered to yourself, as you sat in your bedroom, what it would be like to be with a guy.
What would it feel like? How pleasurable would sex really be…
You often daydreamed of your perfect guy, wishing you could finally let loose and lose your virginity.
You had some fit guys at your college, but none of them fully did it for you. None of them really seemed worth it….
But there was one person that always entered the back of your mind. Someone you couldn’t help but always think back to.
Pierre Gasly.
“But I can’t” you said to yourself as you began to daydream
“Stop it” you forced yourself to say.
You couldn’t think these sexual feelings towards Pierre, because he was your step-brother.
It was wrong to even start thinking of him nake…
“STOP” you shouted at yourself.
You lay down on your bed, scrolling through your phone, as you heard the doorbell ring
You couldn’t think who it could be. Your parents were away for the weekend, so it was just you in the house
You sprinted downstairs, in your mini skirt, and opened the door.
You were shocked to find Pierre on the other side!
“Heyyyy!” Pierre exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around you to greet you
His aroma and masculine scent sending a shiver down your spine, along with the feeling of his big hands wrapping around your back as he greeted you.
He was wearing his gym clothes, and did feel a bit sweaty as you hugged him
“Sorry I have just been working out, I am probably sweaty…but I decided to come home for the weekend, I heard it’s just you here, and your mum and dad are on vacation?”
Pierre had different parents to you, he was just “related” to you in the sense that his dad was now married to your mother.
“Yeah just me in the house this weekend, all alone!” You replied
“Welll….not anymore. We can have some fun” Pierre replied
You both sat down and chatted for a few hours, catching up on what you had missed.
You both had a great relationship, so many similar interests, so the conversation flowed with ease.
His deep, croaky, masculine voice gave you goosebumps as he described the f1 season he had been having so far. You loved it when he told his stories of frustrating outcomes in a race - you liked it when he was pissed off
Time passed, and Pierre decided to go and have a shower, to wash off all the sweat from his workout.
You both went upstairs and as he showered, you went back to your bedroom. You left your door open and could hear him in the shower in the opposite bathroom.
You lay there, listening to the water tricking down. Imagining the sight of it running down his thick neck, and trickling between his rock-hard Abs.
You couldn’t help but get aroused at the thought.
Your hand slowly crept down into your panties…and you began rubbing your clit, which was already wet
“I shouldn’t….” You reminded yourself
You kept trying to stop yourself, but your finger rubbed in circles over your hardening clit. The feeling getting more and more intense with ever stroke
You closed your eyes and imagined what it might feel like to get fucked by a guy…to finally lose your virginity…but best of all - for it to be Pierre. His experience….he had fucked a lot of girls already, you imagined how good he must feel inside
By this stage, you had got so distracted by your dirty thoughts, that you had missed Pierre getting out the shower, and he was now standing at your door
“Are you … are you okay?” Pierre asked as he stood by the door, with just a towel wrapped round his waist
“Shit …. errr, what you doing?!” You shouted towards the door.
You quickly pulled your pants back up and tried to look innocent as Pierre smirked at you.
Water dropped down from his messy, wet hair, and trickled down his sharp jawline
His hairy chest exposed as he glistened in the light
“We all need our alone moments…don’t be ashamed” Pierre replied , still smirking
“Thinking of someone nice? Some guy at college?” Pierre asked
You went blood red. You didn’t know what to say
“Oh…someone else eh?” He added.
He walked into your room and sat on the side of your bed , next to you
“You know I’ve never been with a guy, right?” You asked Pierre
“Really..wow, I’m surprised. A good looking girl like you should have guys all over you…” he replied
“You know….if you wanted…I could share some of my experience with you…” he added
You didn’t know how to respond. All you did was bite your lip
This message got across to Pierre. He leant over, slowly, and pressed his lips on yours
“We shouldn’t” you said, while holding him away
“We should” he responded, using his dominance to kiss you. This time it was more passionate, you instantly felt his tongue enter your mouth, and yours in his.
He kicked your neck , smothering it with saliva as he did
You couldn’t help but groan. You felt your pussy leaking at this point. You were already so aroused.
You couldn’t believe this was actually happening
You tan your fingers through his wet hair, and around his thick, warm neck as he sucked on yours
You could tell that you both had wanted to do this for a while
Pierre then placed you down, on your back. He placed himself above you, while lowering his towel, exposing all of his abs, and his hardening cock. Which was even bigger than you had imagined.
You noticed pre-cum oozing out of his tip as he started kissing your tits.
He sucked and kissed your tits, before lowering himself onto your pussy
His tongue licked you and sucked you out for what felt like forever.
You heard him slurping on your juices as he licked you out. You felt every movement of his tongue sliding in and out of you, and rubbing all over your hard clit
“I’m gonna cu—“ you climaxed before you could even warn him.
You squirted all over his pretty face, his tongue sipping up all the juice
He then got himself into position.
He held his cock with one hand as he rubbed it on your clit.
“Are you ready?” He asked
“I think so…” you responded, a bit nervous you must admit
“If you need me to stop, then tell me” he reassured you.
“I am quite big, so…” he added
He slowly pushed his cock into you.
At first, it felt like he was ripping a hole in you. A hole that just kept on getting stretched as he slipped inside. You felt his tip pushing apart your Virgin walls
The first guy ever to enter you… and it was Pierre.
This was a dream come true
It kept sliding further and further in. When would it end? You wondered.
“Shit you’re so fucking tight…ugh I love how you feel” he groaned.
He then Started thrusting in and out.
At first, it felt quite painful. You grabbed onto his biceps hard as he started to fuck you. You felt him stretching you out, you groaned like you had never before
Your nails dug into his olive skin as he fucked you
The pain quickly turned to pleasure , and before you knew it you were begging him to go harder and faster. Which he did
Every thrust he gave you was perfect. You felt every inch of him. Every throb of his hard cock
You made out with him as you fucked. Trading spit as your tongues swapped into each others mouths.
“Fuck yeah” he groaned as you kissed
You felt his body getting stickier and sweatier with every thrust. You loved it. You loved the idea of him working hard to fuck you. Sweating … just for you
“This is wrong….” You tried to say In between kisses, in between groans as he thrust you
“….but I fucking love it” you added. “Fuck me hard. Fuck me like you fuck your girlfriend”
“Are you sure?” He asked
“Do it. “ you responded
This immediately turned on a switch for Pierre. It changed him
He scooped you up under his arms and threw you onto all fours, before sliding his cock into you and fucking you doggy.
It felt even harder, even rougher than anything you could’ve ever fantasised about
He grabbed your hair and pulled your head back as he fucked you
“Like this, you slut” he shouted
You heard his skin slapping on yours as he thrust in and out of you with force and speed.
He spanked your arse
“Ahh! You exclaimed. The pain felt good tho
You hoped he would leave a handprint.
This was how every good should lose their virginity - you thought to yourself as he pressed himself even further into you than before, hitting the deepest walls inside you
“Shit I’m close” he gasped, out of breath from the intense fucking
He flipped you back towards him and kissed you again, his tongue sliding over your lips as he did. He then pushed you back onto your back and began jerking his cock on top of you
“ wanna see what happens when a real guy cums” he asked, while biting his lip and wiping sweat from his brow
“Cum all over me” you begged
He jerked his cock…he stroked it hard
“Wait….” You shouted
“Cum in me”
He smirked
He slipped his cock back inside you and thrust harder than ever. He felt even harder now, as if he was about to explode from within
“Are you sure? But I haven’t got a condom on…” he sounded a little concerned but it was quickly forgotten when you begged him for it
“Cum in me Pierre” you demanded
You grabbed his abs as he thrust. They clenched up on your hands as he moved
And then You felt it
Your walls completely filled with a warm, gooey fluid
It was as if someone had turned on the tap and left it running
He groaned and trembled ad he released his load inside your tight hole
“Shit….fuck!!” He groaned while collapsing on top of you
You felt his sticky, sweaty body on top of you as he rested. His cock still inside you, still twitching slightly as it bathed in his own cum bath he had just created inside you.
You both lay there , catching your breathe.
You couldn’t believe you had lost your virginity…finally
With Pierre of all people
But then the guilt started to settle.
But it wasn’t enough for you to tell him to move. You enjoyed the feeling of him twitching inside you
“Fuck….we’re gonna have a fun weekend” Pierre smirked
“Let’s shower, we’re so fucking sweaty” he said, still out of breath, before lifting you up and carrying you to the bathroom….
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nieceeee · 5 months
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“WHERE TO NOW?”
PS: babydaddy!eren and y/n have been distancing themselves from one another. Eren wants to be with her but feels like her heart is in another place…or with another person. He and the boys discover exactly what’s going on as he is babysitting one night…
A/N: Angst, tension, fluff for the most part. Cussing, mention of the name babydoll. This is really for a 3 part series so don’t worry there will be plenty of lovey doves stuff towards the end if y’all want it. The other parts will be a little bit longer than this one. I had to play with your emotions before playing with your….nevermind. ENJOY!
W/C: 2.4K
PREVIOUS FICS TO READ: She’s Not Yours (its probably best to read the Eren playlist…if you’ve read them all, see if you can find the references from the previous fics in this one)
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“You look amazing, baby doll.” His voice said from behind you, sending a chill down your spine. You took a deep breath to shake the nerves before you lifted your eyes and stared through the mirror at his. “Thank you Rennie.” You say with a soft smile. Things between you two had been…decent. Weeks after that very dramatic day that started with a bloody nose and ended with his ex hearing beating down yo block, time had seemed to blur together. Eren, freaking out about the entire situation, went back to try and talk to her, hoping to smooth things over which also led to another breakdown from her and him consoling her. And even though he admits nothing happened, the simple fact that he was there for her was something you couldn’t stand. And that alone had you questioning so many things. I mean you weren’t together and neither were they so why does who he has a connection with bother you so much. He said even though they weren’t dating at the time, he didn't want her to feel disrespected and assume you called her intentionally. You understood the sentiment although you didn't give a damn about what she assumed. But because of that, you were at a stand still not only with Eren but with your own emotions as well.
You both (more you than him) decided it would be best to give each other some time to figure out what you wanted to do when it came to the complications revolving around your relationship. Yes, the feelings were there but there was also a lot of unhealed trauma and damage that each of you needed to figure out. Eren wanted to be with you, he knew that without a doubt. The constant back and forth and the fallout of his other relationship taught him a few things and it was in those moments where he realized that you were the only person for him. His first real love, his best friend, the mother of his child. He couldn’t see himself being with anybody else again.
Unfortunately for him, you had other plans. You needed more time to sort through your feelings. The consistent pestering in your mind of what happened every time you had tried to make it work with him before would always rear its ugly head and you’d have to face the reality. No matter how much you wanted it to work, things with you and him were too complicated and with a baby in the mix, it was too much to lose. You were so sure about this but for some reason when you called him over to explain it, you had an wave of uneasiness in your belly. But you stayed the course, expressing to Eren that it wasn't a good idea for you all to jump back into a serious relationship after so much mess had happened. Did he understand? Hell no. Why is he okay to sleep in your bed but not enough to be your man. His heart shattered in pieces when you told him you wanted to keep it friendly but he wouldn't show it on his face. Not in front of you. He wanted you to know he respected your backwards ass decision.
So it seemed like you were back at square one, coparenting and some relationship that bordered between ‘my man my man my man’ and ‘oh we are just friends’. Granted none of your other male friends know how you taste, how you moan when your clit is sucked on, and how to hit that sweet spot that you could only reach when he has you pressed into the mattress, fingers splayed out on your back as he… “No.” you say verbally. It wasn't the time for that, not now or anywhere in the near future. You had made the decision and you had to stick beside it. But you knew that you had to get him out of your head. So you distanced yourself as much as you could, only allowing parental visits and no late night stays. No personal phone calls outside of communication about your son. Nothing to give any indication to the feelings you worked so hard on burying.
Eren hated it.
He hated every lost moment. He hated not being able to touch you. He hated waking up in an empty bed. He hated the way that you would stand on the other side of the room when he came to pick up his baby. It was exhausting but he stayed. It was another night out for you. Eren had come over to babysit and you were just finishing up getting ready when he stepped into the doorframe. You swipe the nude butter gloss over your lips once more, pressing them together to distribute the color when your eyes caught the piercing green ones burning into your skin. You both held each other’s gaze for a while, emotions mixed with arousal building underneath your skin. You forced your eyes to shift back down to your vanity, busying your hands with cleaning the space in front of you. Eren smirked behind you, shifting from leaning against the doorframe and placing his hands on the frame above. “So, you all set to go?” He asks you. “Uh, yeah I think so. I just have to grab some shoes.” You say getting up and walking over to your closet.
You look around at your shoes to find a pair that went well with your multicolored satin dress. The beautiful green, brown,and cream colors blended into a perfect gradient in the fabric and the straps fell gently off your shoulders. You looked down at your choice of cream colored shoes before reaching down and picking up the tie up stilettos, steering clear of the red bottoms. Eren noticed and held back his grin, thinking back to the last time you asked him to pick your shoes for you over FaceTime.
“Okay, all set.” You say, this time actually being ready. “Okay, he should be waking up from his nap in about 2 hours and there are plenty of bags of milk already thawed out. You went over the breakdown for the night, running him through the routine he already knew like the back of his hand. Eren knew you were doing it more so as a checklist for yourself so he allowed you to ramble. “Good?” You say finishing your last thought. “Yeah, all good.” You nod gently and make your way to the door. “Oh, Would it be cool if the guys stopped by later? They asked about lil man but I wanted to make sure you were okay with them being here first.” Eren asks. “Yeah, Ren of course. You know I don't mind them being here.” You say brows pulling together slightly. He shrugged his shoulders from the bottom of the stairs. “Just checking. Have fun.” Your lips part to say something but words seem to get lost. Eren keeps his eyes casted towards the floor, not having the strength to look up and see you leave.
“Eren…” you start but he shakes his head. “Go enjoy yourself babydoll.” You press your lips together then turn and walk out the door.
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“YO! We here.” A voice calls from the door. Eren rolls his eyes. “You know you could just knock right?” He says to Ony as he opens the front door. “Where’s the fun in that?” He laughs before dapping him and walking inside. “Whats up with you bro? You good?” Connie says as they come through the doorway and walk towards the living room. “Now why you ask the man that. You know he down bad right now.” Armin teases plopping down on to the reclining chair close to the tv. “Oh so y'all got jokes now? Do we really want to have it out?” Eren says matter of factly. “It’s okay bruh, we know you down bad for your girl.” Ony laughed. “Right and how is that best friend relationship treating you?” Eren teases back. Connie and Armin bust out into laughter. “See that’s different, you actually had a relationship with your girl.” Ony groans slumping down into the seat.
“Okay, okay but all bullshit aside E, how are you doing with all this?” Armin turns, giving him his attention. Eren took a moment. “I-…not good man.” He admits to his friends. “I don't get it. Y’all have always been in this space right? So what’s the difference between then and now.” Connie questions. “The difference is she’s talking to somebody.” Eren says softly. The room seemed to stand still at his confession. “What do you mean ‘talking’? Like the same guy?” Armin sits up, his stare intense. This was new for all of you. As long as you and Eren had been together, the guys have always been there. Even through the breakups you would never find yourself in another relationship. Fucking around was different but being committed to any guy besides Eren was not your thing.
Until now.
“I mean the past few date nights has been the same guy. I know I tripped out the Jean situation but they were just fucking. This ‘Reiner’ dude or whoever he is, she’s dating him man. Like sending flowers and love notes, brunches, and day trips type of shit.” Eren groans “Oh shit…” Ony whispered under his breath. “Yeah, exactly.” Eren’s shoulders slump slightly as he shook his head. “Well, E it might just be a phase. Don’t give up on it bro. If you work hard enough at it things have a way of sorting themselves out.” Connie says collecting stares from around the room. “What?” He says confused. “When the fuck did you get some common sense?” Ony asks. “Yeah, that’s my role.” Armin retorts. Eren begins to chuckle which turns into a full on laugh out loud followed by everyone else. “Man fuck yall. I’m just trying to help my boy out.” Connie tries defending himself through the noise.
The sound of baby whimpers from the monitor pulls Eren’s attention. He stands up and walks back up the steps towards his son’s room. He sat up in the crib rubbing his chunky fists into his eyes. Eren walks over and lifts him carefully from the bed, adjusting him and holding him against his hip. “What’s up little man. You all good? Daddy’s here.” He cooes. His son tilts his head up, sleep still in his eyes and offers his daddy a gentle smile. “Yeah, daddy’s here. Come on let’s go downstairs and see your uncles.”
“Aw man there go my lil homie.” Connie says as Eren comes back downs he steps. “Man he don't even like you. You know I'm his favorite.” Ony speaks getting up from the couch. They follow Eren into the kitchen as he takes out a few bags of the breast milk you left to warm up. “Y’all doing all that talking but yet I’m the goddaddy.” Armin smirks, slipping around the counter and grabbing the baby from Eren. He giggles, reaching out and squeezing Armin’s face. “Man, he looks just like Y/N. It’s still crazy to think yall got a baby together.” He says, shaking his head. “I know right. I still can't believe it myself sometimes.” It was true. Eren looks down at your son again and his chest swells with pride. It was so surreal to have something that was created from him and the person he cared for the most. As they sit around and conversation Eren takes the time to warm up the milk, grabbing his phone from his pocket. A text message dings from an unknown number.
He pulls up the attachment sent to his phone. “What the fuck…” his eyes squint as he stares down at the video loading before him. “What. The. Fuck?!” Eren says a little louder, catching the attention in the room. “Yo E, you good man?” Ony asks. Eren’s ears started to ring as anger swirled through his veins. His chest rose and fell rapidly. “Eren, talk to us man, what's going on?” Connie says. “Aye Min, can you put him in his playpen with the bottle please.” Eren strains, trying to keep him composure around his son. Armin nods quickly working to get the baby and setting him in his safe area. “Okay, what’s up?” He says as he walks back into the kitchen. Eren sits his phone down and slides it across the counter to his friends. They hovered around the screen and watched as you made out against a car outside of the restaurant. Reiners hands sliding all over your body as he kisses your lips and down the side of your neck. Your giggles fill the air as your hands slip up to the back of his head.
“Oh shit.” They say in unison before looking back up at Eren who was pacing across the floor. His vision began to blur as his fists clenched and unclenched. “E, you got to chill bruh. You can't overreact on this one. Come on.” Armin says in a calming voice. “Yeah E, you got to breathe man.” Ony reassures him. “I know. I know, man. FUCK, I know. I just-…” He didn't know what to do. Eren swipes his hands down his face as the burning behind his eyes intensifies. There was a silence that swept through the air. A heavy silence that was filled with uncertainty and fear. Eren had never felt this feeling of unease before. Not with you. But the fear of what this meant for you both. Is this the end of you and him for good? The nerves cause his emotions to overwhelm him as he slumps down to the floor. Armin, Connie, and Ony come and sit down next to him. No words could explain but they stayed with him, allowing him to process everything.
“What am I supposed to do man?” He asks no one in particular. “Do what you can. One day at a time.” Armin says. Eyes shifted up at the ceiling until the burning went away. He took a deep breath. Judging from the angle of the video, he knew you knew nothing about being recorded. So the only things on his mine were, who the fuck was following you and how was he going to face you when you got home…
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Do you think Peeta strangling Katniss affects their relationship in the growing back together phase? Most seem to think it would be Peeta getting reassurance and comfort from Katniss but I find that a little wrong since it was her getting strangled and with the neck covered in bruises
Why does it have to be either one or the other needing/getting reassurance and/or healing from the strangling?
By the end of Mockingjay, both Katniss and Peeta are dealing with complex ptsd, which means both of them have an assortment, a complicated mess of traumas they have to sort through during the grow back together phase. That’s why it’s essential that both of them work with Dr Aurelius. So I absolutely believe that it does impact their relationship, at least a little. But there’s A LOT that is going to affect their relationship during the grow back together phase. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just a fact of living with ptsd.
I agree with your hypothetical “most” that Peeta would absolutely feel guilt and responsibility over his trying to strangle Katniss. He put his hands on her and physically hurt her, left her marked and unable to speak for a significant amount of time. She needed to be hospitalized for her injuries. As a person with childhood abuse in his past, who we can readily assume wanted to break that cycle of violence, Peeta would be devastated to learn that he did that to Katniss. Just like he was devastated seeing himself throw Mitchell into the barbed net in the Capitol. Hijacked or not, he’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that he did it. He’s going to need reassurance from Katniss over it, and would have to learn to forgive himself as part of their growing back together phase.
As for Katniss… what I’ve seen argued is that she was more concerned with the verbal hurts Peeta inflicted upon her when he was recovering from the hijacking than she was with the physical ones… which I can see the case for this textually. She doesn’t fixate on the strangling itself but on the words he speaks and how she thinks he sees her, the “real” her in her self-loathing, after his hijacking. She almost acts like she deserved that violence against her body.
But here’s the thing. If we can assume that Peeta never wants to repeat the abuse his mother heaped on him by abusing those he loves… he’s going to feel like shit for the things he said to her in his pseudo hijacked phase as well. Peeta internalizes the things his mother said about him. She calls him a “stupid, worthless creature” in Katniss’s memory of the bread flashback. And in Catching Fire, Peeta lashes out at Katniss and Haymitch for keeping secrets from him by saying “Like I’m too stupid or inconsequential” to understand or deserve the truth…
Inconsequential is another way of saying worthless, my friend. He repeats what we know his mother has said about him. Because on some level, he believes that it’s true… symptom of trauma and abuse, my friend.
So of course, even if Katniss fixates only on the cruel things that hijacked Peeta says to her rather than the physical act of strangling her, there are still going to be a host of issues they have to deal with, and eventually, they’re going to have to deal with the strangulation aspect as well.
And Peeta’s no stranger to lashing out physically either. In addition to verbally lashing out, Peeta also physically breaks a lamp in that CF scene. Some people will argue that it’s a stretch, but it is still an indicator of his anger on occasion manifesting as physical ACTION. Lest we forget, he somehow kills Brutus in the Quell, and Brutus is billed as one of the stronger, more ruthless Victor Tributes in that arena. Oh and by the way, Beetee had Peeta’s knife at the lightning tree. So what in the fuck was Peeta armed with when he killed Brutus? His bare hands?!?!
Now, Katniss might not actively fixate on those things during Mockingjay, but I find it highly likely that she would flinch or visibly react to the possibility of physical violence when post MJ Peeta gets angry or distraught… because she knows what he’s capable of and knows that he’s lashed out physically before. And that is absolutely going to affect them both.
Do I think Peeta is abusive towards Katniss? No. Absolutely not. I don’t think that at all. But lemme give you a real life example.
I’m married to someone with ptsd. Some of that is a result of having physical violence inflicted on him personally. Some of it is just from witnessing violence and its results in real life. Some of it is from existing for long periods of time in a place where he was constantly in danger of dying. I have never physically hurt him. But one time, shortly after he came home, I playfully smacked his arm (not even all that hard, Anon) while we were hanging a picture on the wall, we were laughing and teasing each other… and he legit froze, completely tense, and whispered “Don’t… don’t do that again.” I had triggered a flashback.
So there is no doubt in my mind that at some point, Everlark has to deal with Peeta triggering a flashback in Katniss to the moment he tried to strangle her.
Conclusion: It’s both of them that will have to deal with it, will need to heal and need reassurance. I just think that it is going to take a lot of work for both of them to process, deal with, and overcome the verbal and physical violence in their pasts. I think really, the discussion you’re probably seeing right now is simply an acknowledgment that Peeta, as loving and soft as he can be, is also fully capable of violence, and he knows it, and he’s going to have to deal with it. He’s no cream puff. He’s got fire in him and is fully capable of biting back. But acknowledging what he has to deal with in terms of him almost strangling Katniss isn’t necessarily a dismissal of what Katniss will have to deal with alongside him. She’ll just be dealing with it from a different aspect and probably at a different pace.
❤️ kdnfb
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melon-kiss · 3 months
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We cannot be sure if we're ever getting season 2 of 1670. However, no one can deny us the right to predict. So here are my guesses:
Regardless of what happens in the meantime, I'm 99% convinced we're getting Aniela and Maciej being unmasked to the public, probably by Jakub. And it has a strong “season finale” potential to it.
I'm also pretty sure we'll be seeing another magnate's son but this time it could be different. We could get someone who'll share Aniela’s worldviews and it will cause a dilemma for her. Her objections to the marriage – caused by the fact she's already taken – may lead to the unmasking thing mentioned before.
There's also the third option where the lovers break up for the greater good and no one ever finds out – or everyone finds out when it's no longer true. Maciej will find the theater group and will hit the road with them and Aniela will marry a “good” magnate's son (as described above). However, I was told a comedy can't be perceived as such unless it has a happy ending. This does not seem like one...
Some fans speculate that Maciej is faking being a peasant and may turn out to be a nobleman. To be honest, it would be a bit underwhelming for me but I thought I'd drop it in here.
The actress portraying Aniela (Martyna Byczkowska), however, says Maciej will probably die (strangled for the closeness with a noblewoman) or the relationship will be forced to end. But she also says her character would be the best fit for running the estate, so there's some hope...
But what if Jakub found himself a nice boy? That would complicate the “outing plans”...
I'm genuinely confused and curious about Zofia. I’d love for her to get back with Rozalia and become an endgame but I do have a feeling we may not see her (Rozalia) again. My guess is we could either get another lover for Zofia or she gets outed – which will fuel Aniela’s anger towards her mother over her hypocrisy.
We can safely assume that we'll see some unhinged Bogdan. I mean, he was unhinged before but now, with all that money and the demonic possession? Dear God, we should be scared for our lives.
Of course, I would love to see some unhinged Wojciech, too. I mean, he has the potential to behead another magnate's son – and if he does, we may get the “It’s becoming a tradition around here” gag.
As to Jan Paweł? We can throw anything at him. He'll pull through.
Ofc, feel free to add your guesses! Wishful thinking is welcome, too.
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chaithetics · 11 months
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I was rewatching season 1(because of...reasons) and imagine if Stewy and Yn were hiding their relationship and her mom came to ask how long would Shiv and Toms wedding last and the reason he gave that answer was because everyone was making fun of her because she "didn't bring a date", also when they're taking pictures and they take one with the siblings and their dates she's alone and he's heart eyes for her the entire time and when they FINALLY have some time alone, in a very unStewy way she asks him what he's thinking and he says "por wedding will be so much better than this one" just as Sophie and Iverson are running and says "and our kids will be cuter. Obviously"😍what do you say?
Covert Conversations
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Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) Reader
Word count: 3.7K
Author's note: Thank you for this request Nonnie! When I saw it in my notes I was immediately inspired and so this one happened so quickly! I really hope you like it, please do let me know your thoughts Nonnie whether that's in the ask box or a PM! I hope you all enjoy this and this helps the void of Succession Sunday! Please let me know what you think, comments, reblogs are appreciated and I love hearing your thoughts (I live for validation also lol) and interacting with you. What a lovely community we have here! Was this proofread? No, of course not! You know how it is around here haha
Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established/secret relationship, Caroline Collingwood being awful (there is a comment from Caroline about weight gain), Roy siblings not being the nicest (mainly Shiv), some fluff.
Others could and would easily point out the plethora of differences between you and your siblings but there was something important that you all had in common. You never enjoyed being in your mother’s motherland. 
You had a very low-contact relationship with Caroline, which was for the better. The climate here was painfully dreary and you couldn’t imagine ever wanting to get married here, let alone agreeing to it. You were glad that you were at least assertive and confident enough with strong enough boundaries to know that if you were in your elder sister’s position you wouldn’t have ended up people pleasing into this. 
The weather was miserable and the way that the coldness of the country and its inhabitants had oozed itself into every wall and surface as a constant reminder of the dynamic realities and the history locked into them. 
It was the day before Tom and Shiv’s wedding, you were heading over to the church for the rehearsal. You were already severely uncomfortable. There were so many people and it was overwhelming, especially when knowing your mother’s criticisms were just around the corner at all times. 
You also knew you’d be constantly having to swerve around questions about your personal life. You were used to questions and odd looks because of your lack of involvement and interest in Waystar and you usually easily dismissed questions about your romantic life if they ever came up. 
It was a bit more difficult to do the latter though when at your older sister’s wedding, being constantly asked and of course the fact that you stood out. You stood out like a sore thumb as you were the only Roy who hadn’t brought a date and didn’t have a public partner to show off or criticise. Technically Kendall hadn’t brought a date but he had Rava and everybody accepted that due to the complicated nature of their situation. 
Caroline Collingwood was standing outside of the church entrance with your brother and his date Tabitha. You couldn’t see the bride and groom or any of your other siblings. You were hoping that more of them would be there so that you could blend in more and not have as much of an interaction with your mother but it was too late now. 
“Oh hello, darling.” Caroline said as she saw you come over, she was clearly looking at you in the way she did to inspect any flaws, to find any and all chinks in your armour. 
“Hi, mom.” You softly say as you look at her face, she gives you a small hug and inspects your face as he does. 
“Where’s your date? Did you not bring a date…? Don’t tell me you didn’t?!” She asks, there’s a horrified tinge in her voice that’s very thinly veiled in her usual playfully passive-aggressive air. 
“Now, why would I bring someone here to the dreary English countryside and then to even more traumatisingly, meet Roman?” You quipped back. 
Roman scoffed at that and Caroline looked at you, visibly disappointed and sighed. 
“There’s no need to be like that darling, I was simply asking and your brother is lovely.”
“Hear that Rome? You’re lovely!” You say to your brother who quickly flips the bird at you and then goes back to giving his attention to Tabitha. 
You can hear Kendall, Shiv and Tom starting to come over and you make a silent prayer to whatever deity there is that brought them over. But your mother quickly brings you back to your surroundings as she places a hand on your shoulder and studies you more. 
“Have you…?” She questions, you know what she’s asking and roll your eyes sighing. 
“Yes, Mom, I think I’ve gained a few kilos since you last saw me.” You say it bluntly and start to move out of her grasp. 
“I was just asking… your face looks a bit fuller… Gosh, all that therapy has really made you quite defensive!” As she speaks in her native tongue of motherly dismiss and gaslight she finishes with a laugh looking at Roman and Tabitha. Providing them with the cue she hopes they’ll take to join her. 
“Is Connor inside?” You quickly ask, cutting off this discussion from going any further in your presence as you look at Roman. He was the softest and most patient of your siblings with your mother. Feeling uncomfortably antsy, you end up walking off before he has the chance to decide whether he’ll laugh at you with Caroline or if he’ll answer you. 
As you begin to walk off you hear your mother immediately say something about the fact that you’d showed up dateless, which seems to annoy Shiv. She had assumed you’d at least find someone to even numbers up and help balance out photos. 
You roll your eyes at the conversation as you continue to walk into the chapel, further away from it following Connor’s voice. 
“Jesus Christ, Connor.” You say as you see him, he completely and immediately understands. Of course, he does, you knew he would. 
“I don’t think you can say that in here?” He responds as he quickly gives you a hug which you return and then you move to hug Willa. 
“I know she’s my mom-” You start before he finishes it off for you. 
“But she’s the Wicked Witch of the West?” Connor responds as Willa’s eyes widen at that. Connor won’t call her a bitch and use that moniker like Shiv will but it’s still quite a statement coming from him. 
“Yes, exactly that!” You say as you stick to him. Accepting the reality that you’ll probably spend the next couple of days being an awkward third wheel to Connor and Willa. 
*********** 
“She didn’t bring a fucking date, Ken. It’ll throw off the photos and it raises eyebrows.” Shiv complains to her brother the night before the wedding at the rehearsal. 
“Yeah, I know.” Kendall replies. 
“It’s selfish!” 
He’s not as interested in this conversation in comparison to the rest of your family. He did find it a bit odd that you had shown up on your own. He was certain you had been seeing someone for a bit, he’d tried to ask a couple of times but got vague, younger sister “no comment” like responses. 
Kendall was sure as he knew you were rarely at your home and you weren’t a partier. Which pointed at you possibly staying at a partner’s place. That and when he’d noticed a slight behaviour change in you made him think it was a relationship of a more longer and serious nature. 
You’d always been private about your personal life though so he assumed it was that and the potential, quite possibly real reason that you didn’t want to introduce anyone to your family. Something he understood, especially as he’d gotten older, this didn’t seem to be a reason that anyone in your family could quite comprehend though. So he didn’t bother to raise it. 
“Kendall’s dateless.” Stewy says as he takes a sip of his drink looking at his friend. 
Kendall doesn’t think it’s quite the same and Shiv clearly doesn’t either. 
“Yeah, but that’s completely different, Rava’s here-” Shiv immediately responds. 
“In case you were lost in the to-be-blessed nuptials, congratulations of course, they’re separated, and have been for a bit of a gratuitously extended hot minute.” Stewy retorts. 
“Thanks for that reminder, Stew. Really thoughtful.” Kendall says as he looks away. Shiv rolls her eyes and walks off leaving the two men. 
Stewy was once again, not impressed with how your family treated you. He knew Kendall had a soft spot for you and that relationship was close but Kendall had too much on his mind to even consider taking on a defensive role and Stewy’s hands were tied to a point. 
If Shiv wasn’t so cruel to you about this and Kendall wasn’t so in his head he’s sure that they’d have found his comments suspicious. They probably did to an extent anyway Stewy knew, they were always paranoid individuals and even with your candid nature Shiv only had unwavering distrust in you. 
The rest of the evening seemed to go by too quickly, Stewy knew Kendall wasn’t doing well and whenever Stewy looked around for you, you were often hiding in corners with Rava and talking or with Connor and Willa. 
Stewy couldn’t even hide his smile whenever he saw you, you looked beautiful as ever albeit uncomfortable. There was an impressive, assertive grace whenever you manoeuvred yourself out of awkward and uncomfortable social interactions. 
He eventually had to go back to his room for business and he saw you and Rava leaving at the same time. 
He wanted to just go into your room and kiss you, taste the Wambsgans wine directly from your lips. A big part of him was tempted to kiss you there just to spite your family for you. He’d do it. Anything you asked him to he would. 
*************** 
You were with Rava, Sophie and Iverson. Rava was standing and talking to Sophie, they were playing a clapping game while you sat on the grass looking up at Iverson as you both talked about books. He was telling you about the one he’d read last night. 
You’d heard a comment from your mother about you sitting on the grass but it was comfier and far more pleasant than the chairs that had been used for the ceremony, so you ignored her. It shouldn’t take much longer for that to become a built-in mechanism you thought. Plus it made Sophie laugh and you’d do anything to bring a bit of joy to your niece and nephew. 
You looked over your shoulder for a moment and saw Stewy and Kendall standing at the back talking. Kendall’s gaze occasionally fell to where the four of you were but he was mainly just looking ahead or at Stewy. You saw Stewy was watching you, you couldn’t help but smile at him and you were able to see his smiling at you even with the distance, you were confident it was a smirk. 
You then heard the dreaded call, for photos with siblings and partners, you looked up at Rava who gave you a sympathetic look. She’d heard some of the comments and jokes about the fact that you didn’t have a date. You loudly sighed and sat there for a minute, it was possible that the English countryside might just swallow you up or explode and obliterate you all. It was worth a shot, you wouldn’t know if it was possible or not if you didn’t sit there and give it a go. 
Before you could indulge in that hypothesis of a fantasy you saw Kendall walking over to you, Stewy was trailing behind him but with a bit of a distance. Kendall looked down at you and chuckled. 
“Mom hasn’t killed you or died from embarrassment over this?” He asks with a smirk. 
“I wouldn’t know, I’m trying this thing out where I just ignore and avoid her as much as possible. You’ve probably thought of it before.” You quip back. 
Kendall nods and gives a small, dry chuckle. He had. He’d tried avoiding both of the parents you’d shared a multitude of times, he was never successful though. He extends a hand to help you stand up. You look up at him and give him a pout, it’s not quite like Shiv’s pout and eyes that he falls for. There’s more sadness in the expression you’re giving him compared to Shiv’s evident exasperation. 
“Come on.” Kendall says gently as his hand is still out. You sigh and take it, standing up as you brush the skirt of your dress with your hands and adjust it. Rava gives you a smile and says that your outfit looks fine. You nod, and Stewy and Rava start talking as you and Kendall walk off. 
You smile at Willa as you see that she’s going to be included in the photos, much to the annoyance of the rest of your family you’re sure. As you and Kendall walk over and Roman’s posing in Tabitha’s embrace he instantly yells. 
“Wait, stop! We need more room!” Everybody looks at him and he grins like a chuffed child. “We’ve gotta make space for your imaginary boyfriend!” 
Roman, Tabitha and Shiv laugh at that, Tom does that thing where he makes that odd-sounding laugh because the rest of the Roys are laughing at something. Kendall rolls his eyes and Connor gives Roman a pointed look. You feel bad for Willa, she looks uncomfortable. 
“Wait, I thought he was invisible? Is he invisible or imaginary? Because we made sure there was an extra chair set out for him?” Shiv questions smugly. 
You roll your eyes, feeling more uncomfortable than Willa even looks. Connor tells them to stop and they then move their attention over to getting Rava in the photos. It’s an uncomfortable couple of minutes as you stand between Connor and Tom. It’s to balance out the siblings Shiv says but you know that it’s because so if they want to you, Connor and Willa can easily be cropped out. 
*****************
You’re at the reception sitting at a quieter table at the back. Rava looks up from you and sees Stewy looking at you from across the room, she can tell that it’s aimed at you. The gaze has affection and adoration written all over it. He looks like a simp of a man she thinks. Something she’s never seen or thought of in association with Stewy in all the years that she’s known him. 
“So?” Rava asks, putting her gaze back on you. 
“So?” You ask giving her a smile curious as to what she’s segueing into. 
“Stewy?” Rava asks with an amused expression raising her eyebrows. 
You give her a briefly confused expression before responding. One you’ve now perfected.  
“Hosseini?” You ask, waiting for her to confirm, even though you already know the answer. 
“Yeah.” 
“Oh, I didn’t realise he was here.” 
“Yes!” She laughs. “He’s been making like heart eyes at you all night.” 
“Heart eyes?” You ask and laugh at that. She eagerly nods. 
“Yesterday as well I swear, he keeps looking over and it’s not at me.” 
“I seriously doubt it Rav-” 
“Seriously? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look at anyone like that. He was watching you during the photos as well.” 
You want to melt at that, you adore Stewy and how soft he is for you. But you need to keep your composure, you know Rava is more likely to pick up on something than your siblings are. She’s your friend but she’s also more of the empathetic, loving older sister than Shiv ever was to you. You’re also sure that she wouldn’t tell anyone but it wasn’t worth putting her in that position. Especially when you weren’t sure how Kendall would react. 
“That’s an interesting joke Rava.” You say with a small laugh as you sip some more wine. She smiles at you and drops it except for when she occasionally looks away and sees Stewy. 
Rava and the kids eventually go off to look for Kendall and to have a dance, she asks you to join but you tell her that you’re more than fine and sitting for a bit and recharging your social battery wouldn’t hurt. You wouldn’t say it was easily drained but it definitely evaporated quicker around your family and at events like this. 
You were grateful for Rava’s existence and that of your niece and nephew, it certainly made this all significantly more bearable than what it would be without them. 
“You know, some would say that’s obnoxiously  rude.” 
“What is?” You ask, looking up with a smile at the comforting, familiar voice that was interrupting your thoughts. Stewy smirks at you as he then sits down on one of the empty seats by you. 
He has a hand on the back of your seat. It’s him, a sign of affection but something that could easily be written off to a curious eye. 
“To attend a wedding and then be hotter than the bride.” You laugh at that and his smirk grows. “It’s offensive honestly.” 
“Careful Hosseini, Shiv might stab you if she hears that.” 
“I have no doubt about it.” He has that handsome smirk plastered all over his and you look at him with a grin. 
“I heard you told mom that the marriage will last till whatever comes first, forever, or Shiv going away for a week?” You question, he has a smirk on his face, there’s something there you can’t decide if it’s a bit of guilt or pride. It’s smug either way. 
“Yeah. I was getting pissed off with all the commentary on you showing up ‘date-less’.” He answers honestly. 
You can’t help but find a little but funny as you drink in the sight that he is. Oh, it is so cruel that he’s here, so close to you, basically your unspoken date to your sister’s wedding. A clandestine promise that only the two of you know. He’s dressed in that devilishly handsome suit, his hair styled back, the perfect piece of arm candy you think. 
It’s so cruel that all of those factors exist and are right in your face, you’re breathing them in like oxygen. But you cannot just lean over to kiss his soft lips and run your hands through his styled hair and make a joke that he’s your arm candy or be really candid and say he’s the love of your life. It’s torture to sit here and ignore all of that for the sake of appearances while you get drunk off his smell and the way he smiles at you. 
You look into his beautiful brown eyes, you wouldn’t need a drop of the wine that Tom’s parents brought when you could just get drunk off those doe eyes of his. They’re so intoxicating. There’s a gleam in them, it says adoration but also a thoughtful playfulness. You want to know what he’s thinking. You know he has a wonderful mind. 
“Stewy?” You ask softly. He looks at you raising his eyebrows, the way you say his name so softly, makes his heart melt. It sounds so right in your voice, it doesn’t sound as right in anybody else’s. “What are you thinking about?” 
He looks at you, he then looks around the room as he swirls his drink in his hand for a moment before taking a sip. His smirk is still there but then it quickly shifts to something else, a different smile. One that’s gentle, not so smug, it’s intimate. 
“Our wedding.” He says it so casually but genuinely. 
“Oh?” You ask as you feel your cheeks heat up slightly at that. 
“Yeah. I mean, our wedding will be so much better than this one.” He says as he takes another sip from his drink. You laugh at that, a pure, deep laugh as you look at him. “I was saying to Kendall, hasn’t your sister ever heard of anywhere in fucking Italy? We’ll get married in Lake Como. Unless you have any objections to that, just not here, it’s so fucking dreary baby.”
You smile again, you’d talked about marriage before but it was heartwarming to hear Stewy talk about it like this and to know he really did think of these things. 
“I promise you, not here.” You say with a smirk but you mean it wholeheartedly and he knows. 
“That’s a pretty big, solid win for me, so thank you.” He teases. “It’ll be nice, not as many people as this. Big but intimate, with lots of wine, and a hot bride. The hottest of brides, I feel the need to clarify there. I won the future groom lottery there baby.”
You smile at that. You’re already feeling so much better in his company. He really is a salve on your soul. Before you can respond you see Sophie and Iverson running past, they’re so joyful and happy, it makes your heart swell. Stewy immediately thinks about seeing you throughout the day. 
“And our kids will be cuter, obviously.” Stewy immediately blurts out. 
Your head whips from watching your niece and nephew to then face Stewy. Your jaw drops at that, the comment towards Sophie and Iverson but also the open discussion of children. You both discussed that aspect of the future significantly less than marriage. Plus, Stewy specifically said kids, plural, not a singular kid. 
“Stewy! You can’t say that!” 
“What? It’s true though?!” He has that smug smirk you adore written all over his face. He loves the look of pure shock on yours as well, he finds it so adorable and endearing. Oh, he wants to kiss you right now. 
“You can’t say that about Soph and Iverson, plus they’re cute!” You respond. 
“I’m not saying they aren’t. They are. They’re great in fact. No offence to them baby.” He shrugs teasingly. “I just mean, think about ours. They’ll be the cutest kids in the world, and also the most intelligent. They’ll mansplain private equity to all the other babies while simultaneously blowing away all the developmental psychologists with their EQ and reading skills.” He laughs. 
“You’re such a dork for a grown man at times, Stewy. And they’re technically your future niece and nephew!” You respond as you laugh, trying to imagine Stewy talking to a child, reading to them child-friendly stock market bedtime stories. 
“Think about how cute they’ll be. My hair, eyes, your face shape, your cute mouth!” He says excitedly. He’s obviously thought about this all a lot more than you’d realised. 
“You’ve thought about this quite a bit haven’t you?” 
“Of course.” He says, in a mock offence that you’re even surprised at that. 
You smile at him as you take a sip from your drink while leaning back into your chair, plotting how you both can leave this wedding earlier and unnoticed. You’d do anything to kiss him right now and he’d do exactly the same for you.
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bonefall · 1 month
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My birthday was a couple days ago, and I got to see my bio dad for the first time in a while. He surprised me with the fact that I have a little half-sister, whom I've never met and who was adopted about two years back. So, I wondered if any situations in BB mimic this or have a theme of "secret siblings" or "secret family"? Sorry if this is a weird ask; this blog is honestly just such a cool little place and I love the way you approach the subject matter and take the flawed misogynistic foundation of the WC books and make them so much better (JUSTICE FOR BUMBLE!!!). I've also learned a lot about healthy and unhealthy relationships here and am really glad for your deep dives on Squilf and Bramble. Thanks, Bones!
Not weird at all! I really like exploring all the little nooks and crannies of complicated familial dynamics. I think one of the untapped strengths of WC (that the writers seem to be unaware of) is how their MASSIVE cast allows them to present all sorts of unique dynamics. So I like to pick up on it, since they don't.
For secret siblings...
I'm pretty heavily leaning towards Ambermoon being adopted by Wildfur, as a surrogacy. Something feels correct about it. Especially since Icecloud is getting retooled into a post-Battle of the True Eclipse birth, and a major supporting character in AVoS-era stories as a friend of Alderheart.
Thinking about it, I should zoom in and expand this. Maybe have Icecloud, somehow, acquire forbidden knowledge that would invalidate the Queen’s Rights and he (transman) struggles with if he's going to use it to expose his parents as an excuse to help Ambermoon.
(Especially since Ambermoon and Icecloud are basically nothing alike. Amber is independent, bold, and vain. Ice is jessie pinkman big-hearted, disorganized, and deceptively meek if you look past his "chill" demeanor)
But that's wip-- there's also Breezepelt and the Three, who are going to have an actual friendship. In particular I can't unsee Breeze and Lion having a deep one. I know I commit the Cardinal Sin of borderline himbo-ifying Lionblaze in BB, but I can't help it.
Hollyleaf ended up nabbing a bunch of his most violent roles to make her villainous descent smoother narratively, so BB!Lionblaze's story ends up being more focused on Ashfur's abuse, comic relief with cats in other Clans (something that the very serious Jay and Holly have a hard time providing), and the emotional fallout of the big reveal and Bramblestar's turn on them. Breezepelt slots neatly into that.
They were friends. Lionblaze's whole life came down around the reveal, everyone looking at him and his siblings differently, like they're suddenly something terrible. Why can't we find a silver lining, Breezepelt? Why can't we call ourselves brothers if the whole world is going to do it anyway? So much is changing, but THIS doesn't have to, we will take their weapon and turn it to armor, my ally, my friend, my brother.
(and when Breezepelt is lashing out at the three because of the Dark Forest's influence, Lionblaze is there, taking the blows and trying not to give in to the impulse to send him flying with a single paw)
There's also Harespring and Kestrelflight of WindClan and Owlclaw of ShadowClan. All of them are from a single litter between Whitewater and Mudclaw. She was going to raise the three of them alone as ShadowClan cats, but when the sire was smote, Whitewater felt they were cursed.
She was able to give the oldest two to their bio-uncle, Torear, but the weather was so bad that day and the runt was so sickly and small that it surely would have killed him. I don't think Owlclaw ever finds out why his mother always treated him with suspicion, but it did mess him up horribly.
Over in BB!DOTC, Thunder Storm is getting more half-siblings earlier. Clear Sky and Falling Feather had two daughters-- Pale Sky and Tiger Sky.
I want to explore the way that the various stages of Clear Sky's life acted on his kids. How any little curiosity Thunder Storm had about the life he might have had if he wasn't abandoned is crushed by seeing kittens who weren't. How Clear's favoritism of his oldest child set the trio against each other from the start. How this idea of "love" is toxic yet intoxicating.
It feels good to be the golden child. The power it gives you over his sycophants is satisfying. To know you, and you alone, have what someone else craves. Problem is, that's conditional, and it's cruel.
What Thunder Storm learns from his time with his biodad is that Clear Sky is not his father at all. He's taught him exactly what he DOESN'T want to be. There may be similarities-- in temperament, in physical prowess (though BB!Thunder is three-legged, he's still ripped), in taste and senses. But Thunder Storm's father is Shaded Flower.
(BB!Gray Wing died in the first book, rescuing Shaded Flower from being trampled by a horse. Xey're a patron of wisdom, Shaded Moss is taking the role of fatherhood to Thunder)
His sister is Rainswept Flower. His mom is Bright Storm. If there was a bond he could have had with Tiger Sky and Pale Sky, it dies simply and cruelly on the knife they used to cut each other out.
Pale might have wanted to mend it, she was the gentler one. But she dies in the First Battle along with her mother. Tiger Sky is too stubborn to accept any help, should Thunderstar offer it, and Thunderstar isn't in the business of begging for others to like him.
Naturally I'm lowkey obsessed with them lmao. I need to make a BB!DOTC overviewww
#I have a perspective on half siblings colored by a dynamic in my family#The generation above me has two siblings who had an awful biodad and an amazing stepdad (who did officially adopt them)#And there was nothing ''natural'' or good about how one of them was obsessed with their biodad.#It was influenced by his surroundings and did nothing but drag an incredibly toxic man back into his sister's life#Over and over#But anyway the son used to tell me ''theres no half in siblings''#The daughter adored her halfbrother through the mother who raised them-- but was adamant that her biodad's newer kids were nothing to her#I guess I agree with the son. But not in the way he believes it#There's no half in siblings because you either Are. Or you are Not.#You have a shared experience with having that person as a parent or you don't. And that's what's unchanging.#It's not the blood; it's the sweat and tears. But anyhoo#Personal details of my life aside#Tiger Sky and Pale Sky are Clear's Dead Angel Fetus Children in-canon. I think that was Weird.#So instead I made them. Not. Dead angel fetus children....#They're characters now lmaoo#Better bones au#I think Tiger Sky (i call her Tigs in my head a lot) is one of my favorite kit saves ever though#She's not going to be from the last litter either. I haven't picked who the mom is yet but he does have even more#At least one of those is going to make a grab at power but um. Sparrow Heart will not react Well.#BASICALLY lads I'm cooking. My revamps of the DOTC characters basically write themselves because I am very fond of them.#Clear's youngest: ''OH I JUST CANT WAIT TO BE KI-"#Sparrowstar: ''-lled.''
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Text
~ Reminder of Reality | JJK
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Pairing: CEO!husband!Jungkook x writer!fem!wife!Reader
Warnings: arranged marriage, fluff, angst, talks of pregnancy, talks of sex, food, OC eats meat, Jungkook is a sweetheart, beware of the in-laws!, idiots in love, guys we have some progress! (let me know if I missed anything!)
Summary: Sentiment sneaked into the large cracks in your marriage with Jungkook. Emotions revealed another side of him as well as an intimate point of view about yourself. The waters of your relationship are getting deep with both affection and obstacles between you two. Brought back from his dreams to reality, Jungkook must make a decision to change his fate, that is if he wants to keep you by his side forever.
Word Count: 4.8k
A/N Let me know your thoughts in the comments, guys! This is a longer part than chapter 1, I really hope you will like it and remember that drabbles are open for this universe! My inbox is open so please send me some asks while I write the next part!
Please take care and thanks for giving this story a chance, happy reading everyone!💜
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It's been two days since Jungkook recognised the feelings that have been residing in his heart for some time now. Since that talk he had with Jimin.
A text from his mother made his stomach churn with nerves, not because of what was written in it but because of the meaning of the words she texted him.
Jungkook stood in front of one of the large windows in his office, phone in hand while he pondered how to approach you about the matter of his mother's text. He planned conversation after conversation in his head only to discard it in the end.
His mental scripts were only making him more anxious than he already was with the fact that he had to call you during his work hours.
Anyone who could be in his shoes at that moment would have made the call an hour ago but this wasn't anyone. It was about you and Jungkook and the complicated yet still easy relationship between you two.
It wasn't of hate but it wasn't of love either. The word of marriage didn't resonate as sweetly as it should have been but he couldn't say it was a bitter experience. It was just unknown territory for the both of you.
Jungkook took a deep breath, pressing your contact in his phone as he pressed the device up to his ear. It rang and rang, with each tone as his call went unanswered, the more nervous he felt.
Not because of making the call, but because of who he was calling. It was you. The woman who carried the title of his wife, you with whom he had been living for nearly a year now, you whom he liked in a way that was supposed to be normal between husband and wife yet it didn't exist between you and Jungkook.
So he waited. Waited until you answered his call, eyes fixed on the city that looked so small from where he stood. Heart raising with anticipation of hearing your voice while his stomach churned with the nerves of messing up somehow.
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You were pouring yourself some hot water on your favourite cup to make some tea to enjoy in the chilly flat. You had just finished writing yet another chapter of your book and now came the revision you gave it before sending it to your editor.
It was tiring to do so, but you also rejoice in the fact that you allowed your ideas to rest for a bit while also seeking the opportunity to improve your writing.
Just as you finished making your tea, you heard your phone vibrating in the quiet flat from the living room. With a sigh you put the cup down on the counter as your legs carried you back to the living room. Your hand reached for your phone and you felt how your heart skipped a beat when you read it was Jungkook calling you.
Without wasting another second, you picked up his call, your phone was pressed to your ear as you spoke.
"Hello?"
Your husband had to suppress the small sigh that left his lips in content upon hearing your voice.
"Hi, (y/n). I hope I'm not interrupting anything important."
You smiled, eyes glancing back at the kitchen where your cup of tea rested before you answered.
"No, I was just making myself some tea. Do you need something?"
You heard him let out a deep breath from the other line as you walked toward the glass windows, the curtains were pulled at the sides and you were greeted with the beautiful view of Seoul from the tall building where your shared apartment rested in the quietness of the lonely sky.
"Yes, actually. I wish I could ask you this in a different way, though. But my mother texted me and asked if we both could join her and my dad tonight for dinner. I'm calling to see if you don't have any plans for later today."
How considerate. Was the first thought that crossed your mind after hearing his words. Jungkook had never forced you to do absolutely anything you didn't feel comfortable with nor did he ever put you in conflicting situations.
However, when you agreed to become his wife, there were other roles you also had to fulfil. One of them being a daughter-in-law.
You suppressed a sigh before responding in a neutral yet soft voice.
"I'm free tonight, actually. Should I wear something specific?"
Jungkook could sense the subtle tension behind your words, it wasn't easy for you to meet his parents and he knew it but there were things he couldn't help but get over with. The four of you haven't met formally for awhile and he knew such a meeting couldn't be postponed any longer.
"Thanks (y/n). I'll pick you up at 5:00 and wear something formal, please. You know how my parents are."
"Of course. Text me if there are any changes of plans."
He nodded, big doe eyes fixed on the city beyond him. Not knowing you were also looking at the enchanting view from your apartment.
"Sure. See you at five, then."
"Goodbye, Jungkook."
And with that, the both of you hung up at the same time. He pocketed his phone, heart racing with the echo of your voice invading his thoughts.
He knew you weren't too keen on these types of family gatherings yet you had agreed to go. Despite the raw circumstances in which your marriage with Jungkook bloomed. He knew marrying you was only a play in the big inheritance he was going to receive eventually.
Marriage was a business. That was what he was taught since early years but now, he hoped he could make the relationship between you and him something more than the cold signature and the expensive rings that bonded you as his wife.
Your phone was still in your hand, your arm resting by your side as the conversation you just had with Jungkook replayed in your mind over and over. His sweet tone, the soft words. It made your heart flutter with feelings you had been denying for a while now.
Yet there was a part of the conversation, a sentence he spoke to you that just wouldn't leave your mind. Getting engraved not only in your memories but, unknowingly, in your heart as well.
"I wish I could ask you this in a different way, though."
Ask me what? You thought to yourself, your left hand came to your neck as your fingers massaged the tender skin there as the sunlight reflected on the silver wedding band on your ring finger.
You didn't exactly know the meaning of those words. He sounded disappointed when he had expressed such a wish to you yet you couldn't determine the reason behind such a feeling.
Or maybe you knew it already, but your mind refused to accept it. A fact as tangible as the ring that screamed to the world you were taken but at the same it was a fleeting thought, a simple assumption over your own desires. Your own fantasies.
What did you mean by that, Kook?
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The sun was about to set in the horizon. The sky was getting painted in different orange shades as the blue in it began to darken and melt with the rest of the colours, creating a beautiful view over the city.
Yet Jungkook was on his way to see another kind of beauty. His wife, you who were waiting for him to pick you up from the flat. He couldn't stop thinking about you since that phone call he had with you earlier today.
He imagined your smile when you would see him and how beautiful you would look dressed in one of the expensive dresses stored in your closet he bought for you.
His left hand was curled around the steering wheel of his car, wanting to stop somewhere before going back home to you, hoping that you would like his little surprise.
While exiting the building, Jimin gave him a knowing look, one that made the younger man roll his eyes at the teasing of his friend. But now, those feelings of excitement were replaced with soft longing in his heart to see you, not being able to deny the happiness that blossomed in his soul every time he got to see you or hear your voice.
You were spraying your favourite perfume over your neck and wrists when you heard your husband enter the flat, the door locking itself behind him. You couldn't help but smile at the mere thought of him, your feet carried you out of your shared bedroom, over the hallway and into the living room where you could see the entrance way.
Your eyes locked on his figure. A fluttering in his stomach tainted his cheeks a soft shade of pink when Jungkook's eyes rested over you. He took you in, your figure cladded in a beautiful and elegant black dress with a squared neckline and slightly puffed long sleeves. Your hair was styled beautifully with a simple headband also in black.
"You're home."
Your words reached him like a soft summer breeze, peaceful and delicate. He smiled, taking off his shoes with ease before walking to where you stood, his hands behind his back.
"I told you I'll pick you up at 5:00."
Jungkook stated, your eyes glanced quickly at the clock hanging on the wall only to notice it was five o'clock sharp. Just like he had said.
"You look beautiful, by the way."
A smile was painted over your lips at his compliment as your cheeks were dusted in pink. You had to glance down or you knew your face would be as red as a tomato if you were to look into his eyes at that precise moment.
"Thanks. I hope you like the dress."
Unknowingly to you, he smiled. Jungkook felt how his heart constricted with the rising tension in the living room. It wasn't a bad tension, nor in a sexual way. There was tension between two people who liked each other but were too afraid of saying anything. Chemistry, it's how he'd describe it.
"You are always beautiful, (y/n). It doesn't matter what you are wearing at all, you are and will always be the most beautiful woman in my eyes."
You couldn't help but snap your eyes up to gaze into his own. You drowned in his dark pools filled with emotions you didn't understand, unsaid words you weren't quick enough to catch.
Jungkook took a deep breath, as if he had resurfaced from being underwater. As if a bubble had popped and he was able to breathe once more. Perhaps he had been trapped in a bubble of perfection in which only you and him existed.
But he was back in the real world quicker than he would have liked.
"I... we should get going."
You cleared your throat, snapping out of your thoughts as you offered him a soft smile.
"Of course, let me just grab my purse."
And with that, you were back into your shared bedroom, leaving your husband standing alone in the middle of the living room. Your heart was hammering like crazy inside you as you gazed at your own reflection through the mirror, purse in hand while you prepared yourself to face Jungkook once more.
Your husband ran a hand over his face, trying to cool himself down and to stabilise his heartbeat. The motions reminded him of the thing he was hiding behind his back all this time. His eyes fixed on the marine blue velvety box he held in his left hand decorated with a small and elegant silver bow.
It was a small gift he wanted to give you, the reason why he left the company half an hour earlier than what he had originally planned. Only to buy you that. Why? He didn't know it yet. He only felt like giving you something.
"I'm ready, let's go."
Your voice made him turn around, hiding the present behind him once more. Jungkook could say he nearly jumped at your words, having not heard you walk down the hallway.
"Wait, (y/n)."
Blinking at him, you waited. Expecting his next words. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly with the motion.
"I-I have something for you."
You arched an eyebrow in curiosity and he sensed that as his cue to take a couple of steps towards you until he stood at arms length and handed you the box. Presenting it to you in an almost shy way that had you smiling softly.
"What's this?"
He watched as your fingers took the box, your fingers brushing his own with the action as your touch sent sparks of electricity throughout his body that he had to suppress a shiver.
You gasped when you opened the lid, your (e/c) eyes scanning over the beautiful necklace that lay over a thin layer of black velvet. The piece of jewellery was crafted in white gold, three chains followed the lock, each one a bit longer than the last one with a ruby tear at the end creating a beautiful design.
"Do you like it?"
Jungkook asked. Your expression told him nothing and he was growing anxious over what your reaction to his gift would be. Yet no words could escape you as you were mesmerised by the necklace itself.
"How... Why, Jungkook?"
You asked in a small voice. Soft like the wind yet carrying the strongest of emotions he wasn't able to grasp.
"I only wanted to give you something. I thought it would suit you."
Your eyes lifted from his gift and locked with his own dark yet wide orbs. You smiled, easing the worry craving in his chest.
"It's really beautiful, thank you. I wish I could give you something too."
Jungkook shook his head, a smile of his own appearing over his handsome features, that smile you loved so much.
"I'm glad you like it. You don't have to give me anything, (y/n). Your mere presence is enough."
You bit your lower lip, trying to suppress the big grin that threatened to break over your red lips.
"Will you help me put it on?"
His heart fluttered at your request. So innocent yet it broke havoc inside him. With a raging storm of butterflies fluttering in his stomach, his heart skipped a beat as his fingers grabbed the necklace from the box.
You turned around, putting your hair to the side and exposing the back of your neck to him. Jungkook helped you click the necklace as you felt the coolness of the expensive jewel against your hot skin.
The smell of his cologne invaded your senses and the moment between you two lasted too long for your fluttering heart but it ended too soon for your yearning soul.
"There."
You turned around at his announcement, a soft smile graced your lips.
"I really like it, Kook."
Your eyes went wide at the small slip-up. That nickname existed only in your mind for him. Never had you ever thought of calling him that but he didn't seem to mind it as he only flashed you a smile.
"A beautiful jewel for my beautiful wife."
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The ride to the restaurant was silent. But it wasn't uncomfortable. It was nice. There wasn't tension between you two as you thought there would be due to each of you being stuck in your own heads.
Jungkook couldn't stop thinking about the way you had called him. That nickname was simply a short way of his given name but he couldn't say he despised it, not when it was you who had spoken it.
He couldn't ignore how his heart had skipped a beat at the sound of your referring towards him. He found it endearing; a memory that would stay with him despite the outcome of his own wishes of progression in the tangled mess of emotions he found himself in.
You on the other hand couldn't stop thinking of what Jungkook said to you. His words meant so much to you than he probably realised.
"A beautiful jewel for my beautiful wife."
He had said. He not only had called you beautiful, a compliment you had received throughout your adulthood more times than often, but he had called you his. His wife.
Even when you both were married under a cold arrangement, you weren't going to deny the butterflies that wildly fluttered in your stomach when he called you his. When he thought of you as his. A partner to stand by his side forever, a wife not only by certificate but bonded by different things, bonded not only with a ring but with feelings involved in between.
Could he feel something too?
But before you were allowed to ponder more into those kinds of thoughts, Jungkook parked the car and sent you a soft smile before he exited the vehicle.
You had been so engrossed in your own mind, your thoughts about your husband that the seemingly long ride to the restaurant felt like nothing. Time flew like wind, as if holding water in your hands. That was how you perceived time when Jungkook was in your life, being that physically or only existing in your thoughts.
He walked around the car and opened the door for you, offering you his larger and inked hand out for you to take. You did with a smile on your face, thanking him softly before you two ventured into the restaurant where you would meet his parents once more. The two people who arranged your marriage with Jungkook.
The greetings and fake smiles went by without you paying it much thought. You focused on your mother-in-law when she spoke during the meal while you were cutting a piece of steak for yourself.
"That is a beautiful necklace that you are wearing, (y/n)."
She commented, you felt Jungkook look at you briefly from where he sat next to you. A polite smile plastered once more over your features.
"Thanks, Jungkook gave it to me."
"Mmm, I see."
She answered, taking a sip from her wine as you ate a piece of your own dinner, feeling the soft texture melt in your mouth. The conversation carried itself mostly between Jungkook and his father, talking about the company and future plans.
From what you had learned yourself, Jeon Enterprises was a large company that made sophisticated electronics. Their most popular product was their innovative cell phones, you having one yourself.
You admired the company as it had been passed through generations of Jungkook's ancestors as they had first traded with ink back in ancient history. And you couldn't be more proud of your husband to inherit such an empire.
You sat quietly next to your husband as he explained one of his upcoming plans for the company, you were taking the last sip from your wine before Mrs. Jeon spoke once more in between a pause in the conversation.
"Tell me Jungkook, when are you two both going to have a child?"
Her question made you choke on the alcoholic beverage you were previously enjoying. You put the glass down as you coughed a couple of times.
"Are you alright?"
You nodded at your husband's worry, his big eyes resting over you.
"Yeah, sorry. I wasn't expecting to... you know, talk about this during dinner."
Mr. Jeon rested his cutlery against his plate as he spoke, his eyes dancing between you and Jungkook.
"When else are we going to talk about it, then? You need a child to inherit, Jungkook! That's why we married you off, so the company won't be lost to the actionists."
You felt yourself shrink into your seat, but you weren't going to give them the satisfaction. Did they really arrange your marriage with Jungkook only so that you would get pregnant? What if Jungkook had been so attentive and sweet lately because he wanted to have sex with you?
He needed an heir for him to inherit. He needed a child. He had to become a father but that child wasn't going to be produced by osmosis. He needed to be married, have a stable family so that he could inherit his empire of centuries.
Was that his purpose all along?
"(y/n) and I haven't talked about that, father. It is not only for me to decide."
You looked at your husband with a surprised gaze, your previous thoughts melting like butter in a pan with that statement, you could practically read the sincerity in his words.
"Well, you two better talk it out sooner than later. I want to have grandchildren, Jungkook. And you (y/n), haven't you initiated anything? You should be pregnant by now giving how much time you two have been married. This was the only purpose of your arrangement."
Now that hurts. You didn't know why but it did. Deeply. To be considered a child machine only for their legacy to continue.
"Mum!"
Exclaimed Jungkook, his hand tangling with your own beneath the table but you spoke before the situation could escalate more than it already had.
"I believe that is a private and intimate conversation I must have with my husband in due time, Mrs. Jeon. Please understand that is a matter we must solve as a couple whether we had been arranged or not."
Silence circled the table the four of you were sitting at. Your voice had been calm yet firm at the same time, stating your point without being rude. Call it a polite way of saying " don't butt in " and you hoped it had worked.
Jungkook gave your hand a squeeze under the table, you had forgotten for a bit that your hands were intertwined behind your in-laws' prying eyes.
"If that was all you two wanted to talk about, I hope you are satisfied with (y/n)'s response. We will be taking our leave now, the bill's on me."
Jungkook stood up after those words left his lips, he pulled you up with him and you barely had time to grab your purse with your free hand before he was pulling you with him toward the same way the both of you entered the fine restaurant.
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"I'm sorry about what happened back there at the restaurant."
Jungkook spoke, his voice was filled with a heaviness you couldn't quite place.
"It's alright."
You said, not wanting to dwell on that conversation any longer. Your husband turned to look at you, he was sitting in the driver's seat while you were next to him, eyes locked on one of the walls of the parking lot of the apartment building. The drive back home was silent but this time it was tense. Not between you both but due to the predicament you were tangled in as a married couple.
"It is not alright, (y/n)."
You sighed, your right hand began playing with the wedding band around your finger in your other hand. This wasn't a conversation you wanted to have but you also understood. You knew it had to happen, you knew you couldn't evade it forever and you were also aware of the fact that you would end up pregnant, sooner or later.
His eyes locked with your own the moment you turned to look at him, your eyes revealed a thousand emotions hidden in your soul.
"I know, Jungkook. It wasn't alright, none of this tangled mess is. But we are here now, together. Whether we like it or not, we are in this situation together."
His heart clenched at your words. Did you see your marriage with him as a tangled mess? But you didn't allow his mind to ponder on that thought for another second before you were speaking again.
"You need a child to inherit the company, that is a fact we can't deny. It was part of the contract, Jungkook, the conditions. We can't ignore them forever."
He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his heart beating rapidly against his chest. This wasn't how he had planned this conversation to go.
"I'm aware of the conditions, I know what I signed myself in when I married you, (y/n). I just don't want you to feel as if I am imposing it over you. It is your decision too. "
You stared into each other's eyes, time flew by slowly as if the Earth had stopped rotating.
"I just... I don't think I'm ready to have a child right now."
Jungkook heard your whispered words. A sentence, a hidden truth that was spoken as if it were forbidden to even think about. He didn't know if he should be sorry for the situation you both were in, nearly forcing you to carry his child or happy upon the fact that you had revealed a bit of your soul, your thoughts, your heart and wishes to him.
Even when it was a mere sentence, when that truth was constructed of only words. A melody made for his mind to sing, he treasured the honesty, the trust.
His hand covered your own, unfisting your fingers from clenching the fabric of your dress. You didn't even know you were doing such a thing as you looked down surprised at your now joined hands.
"I am not forcing you. I will never force you to do anything, you must know that by now."
You nodded and he continued. Your eyes met his gaze once more in the silence of the car. A space so casual to exist yet now was intimate between you and your husband. A box of truths. A keeper of honesty.
"I wish this evening had gone differently. I'm sorry about that but the arrangement only said we should have a child together, it never said when. It will happen when you are ready and if you never find yourself down that path, well then that will be a problem for future us to deal with."
A soft smile appeared over your lips. There weren't enough words in any language to express how grateful you were to your husband for those words. Jungkook mirrored your gesture, giving your hand a soft squeeze before he retrieved his hand from your own, leaving your skin cold, missing his touch.
"Let's go inside, it's already late."
You nodded at him. Feeling your soul lighter for you to carry. Your burden lessened by his words.
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Jungkook lied awake in his shared bed with you. You were already sound asleep but the world of dreams hadn't gotten a hold of him yet. He thought of the conversation he had with you in the car. He thought of your words, your reactions, your small gestures. They were all engraved in his mind, replaying it to him over and over and over again like a movie he loved and never got tired of watching.
What had happened at the restaurant, what was spoken in the confinement of his car, what you had said about your situation with him were nothing more than a reminder of reality for him. A reality he was forced to live and now, you were also tangled in a web of arrangements, promises and longing souls.
Reality was a changing truth. And while he lived in a created fate by his family, carrying the name of his ancestors and the prestige of his bloodline, Jungkook also believed reality could be transformed.
It could be shaped with his decisions and reactions. Just like he wished to change the reality he lived with you, to progress in the relationship he was already in, to win your heart and claim you as his own, he also knew his reality as the chairman's son couldn't be moulded.
Today, he was brought back to the real world, away from his beautiful dreams, away from sweet fantasies. He was reminded of his stance, of his reality, of his position, of his duty.
But was Jungkook strong enough to break the chains of a created fate? Was he strong enough to keep you away from the harm those chains would make once broken? Did he even want to break them and be free or would he allow to be the prisoner of his bloodline, of his family forever?
You and Jungkook were bonded by a ring, the two of you lived a harsh reality. Was that reality open to change its course and allow you both to archive the sweet marriage you both desired?
No-one knew the answers to those questions, only you and Jungkook did. But would you be able to face the truths hidden behind a created fate and smokey lies? Would you stay together in the end?
~Masterpost
Sept/08/2023
Drabbles are open for this au! My inbox is open, darlings!
☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕
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hlficlibrary · 4 months
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HL Fic Library 🩷 Non-Traditional Omegaverse Fics
Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.
💜 War Of Hearts by BoosBabycakes / @boosbabycakes28 {E, 80k}
They are the bane of each other's existence, they never pass off an opportunity to remind the other of how annoying they are. Who would have thought that polar opposites could compliment each other so well?
A story about two boys, one looking for patience and trying to be strong enough to stand up for himself, and one struggling with self-discovery and strength, where facts, reality and becomings hit him in the face, and suddenly, everything that's ever been important to him is in play.
💜 What I Have With You (I don't want with anyone else) by @lululawrence {NR, 73k}
Louis smiled. “I’m sorry for how I ran away last night.”
“It’s totally fine. I’m sorry I did all that. I never asked if you were okay with it, and I really should have.”
Louis didn’t know how to respond to that. “I mean, I wasn’t really telling you no before that. How were you to know I’d be fine and then… not.”
“Well, if I had asked you first like I should have, then I would have known your boundaries.”
“How can you know my boundaries when even I don’t?” Louis scoffed. “Shit.”
Louis hadn’t meant to say that much to Harry. It’s not like he was embarrassed by who he was, but he still didn’t really talk about it openly either.
“What do you mean?” Harry asked.
Louis shook his head and kept his eyes trained on Harry’s chest. The shirt was old enough he could see the ghost of Harry’s tattoos through it.
“It’s a long and complicated story that is also very boring, so I don’t think you actually want the answer.”
Or Louis is an asexual alpha, Harry is his aromantic alpha friend and possible roommate, and faking a relationship might be exactly what they need to get their families and friends off their backs.
💜 Little by Little by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense {E, 65k}
Harry Styles is an omega who works at the London Planetarium, has lived in the same flat for ages, and is happy enough on his own. When he gets home from his first (horrible) attempt at dating in years, a new pregnant neighbor knocks on his door after smelling his cooking. He and Louis quickly become close, but their friendship gets complicated when Harry begins questioning who he is and what he likes.
Or Harry discovers figuring out who you are is more complicated than a potato metaphor.
💜 Take Me Down Slow (Don't Let Me Go) by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom {E, 26k}
Louis has always felt different. Not necessarily on the outer realm of societal norms, but pretty damn close to the edge. As an Omega, he’s supposed to want certain things; to want to raise a family, to want to build a life with a partner, and to want that partner to be an Alpha.
Well, two out of three ain’t bad.
OR the one where Louis wants to find the right kind of partner to love, Niall hates snowboarding, Liam wants to settle down, Harry is really good with his hands, and mother nature could be the thing that changes everything.
💜 Iron Hearts, Fire Souls by hopelesswriter / @getmesometacos {E, 26k}
"Lou..."
“I know, Harry! I know what you’ll say, we can’t right? We can’t help each other’s needs? We can’t be what the other needs? But fuck, what about what we want?! And I say we because you’ve been saying yes to all of our dates and you've been flirting back all this time and-“ He took a deep breath. “And there is nothing that I want more right now than to kiss you.”
Or the one where Harry and Louis are two single and unmated Lawyer Alphas that have to share an office and even though they shouldn't be that attracted to each other's scents, it sure isn't a big deal, right? I mean, what could go wrong?
💜 No Easy Love (Could Make Me Feel This Way) by @allwaswell16 {E, 17k}
There’s never been anyone for Harry but Louis. He had always thought their love would last forever, despite society’s pressures on an alpha/alpha relationship. When Louis breaks up with him and moves to Chicago, he’s suddenly left behind to pick up the pieces of the life they once shared. Instead of moving on, he finds reasons to keep Louis in his life and in the process begins to piece together what went wrong.
Or an Alpha Louis/Alpha Harry au where they get a second chance to make things right with the love of their life.
💜 I'll Call You Mine by @kenniewen {T, 13k}
"Harry isn’t superstitious, doesn’t knock on wood, or wish on shooting stars, but his position on ‘love at first sight’ becomes increasingly wishy-washy as his mind begins to comprehend blue, blue, blue. He feels his heart constrict and tongue go dry. The man before him is the most beautiful omega he has ever seen in his entire life."
Or: A self indulgent Omega/Omega fic with a teacher/single parent of favorite student trope.
💜 Woke Up Feeling Knotty by @jaerie {E, 7k}
Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof. When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them. Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.
💜 All at once, this is enough by @lunarheslwt {G, 7k}
“Could you help me…to make a nest?” His question was whisper soft, not daring to look at Louis’ face as he asked. For a few seconds, nothing but silence ensued. And then- “You want me to help you make your nest?” Harry’s blush deepened as he meekly affirmed, “yes.” The lack of response straightaway from Louis, and the way he had questioned the request, had Harry’s stomach churning uneasily. Why did he ask that? You don’t ask your friends to build you nests, what the fuck Harry. Louis must think him to be such a twit- “I’ll help.”
Or, Harry, overcome with burn out, wants to nest but he has never nested before, doesn’t know how to. Louis, his best friend, is only happy to help him make a nest and be there for him. Along the way, they find something more.
💜 Milk & Honey by @kingsofeverything {E, 7k}
Breastfeeding twins is no easy task, so Harry joins the local M.O.M.M. (Male Omegas Make Milk) support group.
💜 Where I'm Meant To Be by Halos_Boat / @halohamilton {E, 6k}
Harry and Louis have been sleeping together casually for a while. As two Alphas they never wanted to define it as anything more.
When Louis helps Harry out with his rut so he can get it done in time for his exam, they're forced to face feelings they were habouring for a while.
💜 Sweet Dreams That Leave All Worries Behind You by @tommokat {T, 5k}
Harry’s getting his in ears secured and watching while Zayn and Louis mess with Liam’s microphone when the idea hits him. He slept perfectly last night; there was no chance for feelings of loneliness to creep in while he was wrapped up in Louis’ arms and scent and sheets. Which means if he can continue to—yes, this is perfect. Harry grins to himself and starts on his plan for tonight.
💜 Chew You Up Like Candy by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 {E, 4k}
As it turns out, the internet can also be used to find people that like the same things as you. However unusual they may be. Or in Harry’s case, the things he thinks he might want to try.
Which is how Harry has now found himself laying on his back, fully naked, and strapped down to a bench. With an intimidating looking fucking machine positioned right between his spread legs.
And completely at the mercy of the prettiest Alpha Harry’s ever seen.
So really, this is all the internet’s fault.
(Or the one where Alpha Harry falls down a Reddit hole, that leads him to discover a few new kinks he never knew he had. It also leads him to Louis, an Alpha unlike any other Harry’s ever met. Louis’ more than happy to help Harry explore his new interests).
💜 And I Want More by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes {E, 3k}
Hearing Harry talk about knotting dildos makes Louis’ cock twitch. And fuck did it get hotter in here? Wiping at his forehead with the back of his hand he pulls Harry’s drawer to retrieve said dildo. It’s pink and glittery and honestly, Louis would expect nothing less from his best friend. A dazed smile forms on Harry’s face as soon as he wraps his fingers around it.
“Alright well, I should leave you to it. I’ll hang around on campus until your heat passes,” Louis informs Harry.
Harry’s eyes are open now, but they’re not looking at Louis, instead, they’re focused somewhere further south. He follows his gaze and immediately blushes when he notices what has caught his best friend’s attention. Louis’ erection is tenting in his sweatpants, a wet spot of precome darkening the fabric of his pants.
“Oh fuck.” It’s all making more sense now. All the heat he’s been feeling, the sweat. Louis is going through heat too.
💜 when we're finished saying nothing by @disgruntledkittenface {M, 3k}
Louis has barely woken up when she realizes that Harry is still mad from the night before. The silent treatment that Harry prefers when she’s like this isn’t going to achieve anything, so Louis gets up to apologize only to find out there’s more going on with her mate than she thought. That’s when her instincts take over.
An alpha/alpha AU inspired by Written All Over Your Face.
💜 dark rings of white noise by unwept / @peachade {M, 3k}
A culmination of emotions rise in him, he is a solar flare bubbling with indignation and shame and desire, three heavy emotions clashing together, threatening to explode in him and make a mess of his insides, ruin him and call the aftermath as art when he is more aftermath than art.
💜 Change of Plans by @haztobegood {G, 2k}
Harry and Louis plan to visit their families over Christmas. Sometimes, plans don't work out.
💜 When you're good to mama (he surprises you) by @sadaveniren {E, 2k}
“I hate your dick,” Harry sniffed.
“I know, baby.”
“Fucking magic beta dicks. Should have mated a damn alpha.”
aka Harry's pregnant with his sixth kid
💜 we don't fight fair by @hellolovers13 {E, 2k}
“What, you think I'll just roll over for you now?”
The smirk on Louis’ face was almost devilish. “Yes,” He breathed against Harry’s lips, cocky and sure, like it was a fact of life.
It sent all kinds of shivers through Harry. God, but he wanted to. Wanted Louis to have him right against this wall, let everyone see how he fell apart under him.
But not tonight.
Harry fixed his posture, standing up straighter and trying to get himself under control. “I don't think so, omega.”
Or: Nothing like a little chase to start off Louis' heat.
💜 Hanging Around by @homosociallyyours {G, 1k}
As a gay alpha loving alpha, Harry spent a lot of his life expecting to be single forever. Meeting Louis changed that, and after moving in together Harry realizes that he has the urge to nest. It's not a typical thing for an alpha to do, but Harry has never thought of himself as typical. Then again, neither is Louis.
💜 I got me an appetite, now I can taste it by @enchantedlandcoffee {E, 1k}
"Haz, are you sure about this? I don't want to hurt you, love." Louis asked, hovering over Harry's chest.
"Lou..." The omega whined, bringing his hands to the alpha's butt in an attempt to bring him closer. "You won't hurt me."
"Are you sure?" Louis asked again, staying rooted in his position until he was sure he wouldn't hurt the omega.
"I'm sure," Harry whined, moving his hands to the top of Louis' thighs. "How about this? If I'm uncomfortable in any way, I'll tap you twice, like this, okay?" The omega demonstrated the movement for Louis, tapping twice on the alpha's upper thigh.
OR Louis and Harry try something new in the bedroom.
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esmedelacroix · 4 months
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10 days til' Christmas
figureskater!reader and hockeyplayer!gojo satoru's complicated relationship ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
cw: miscommunication trope(Im sorry i know its annoying but like just read)
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Blue robin eggs, the sky, ice, oceans, jeans, pools, Uranus, smithsonite, opal, moonstones, and waterfalls. A list of all the things that are blue that could never do me any harm. But his eyes, they captivate they attract then they destroy and demolish.
On multiple occasions, I have been called the best figure skater of my time. I have broken records in multiple countries for the most turns, the first triple axel landed, first this and that. It felt good. Hell, it felt great.
But the truth is, I am a nervous wreck. Spinning is my specialty I do it so well and no one knows how. They say it seems like I never get dizzy.
But there is one thing I need that is always there to help me do what I do. Any dancer knows that the key to a good round of spins is a spot. Something you can focus on and keep looking at repeatedly so that you don't get dizzy.
When I spin I look for blue. Calming and beautiful but harsh and unpredictable. I look for him. Those eyes scream at me for attention. I turn so well because when I look away, my body forces me to look right back. But I could never tell him that. He hates me.
. . .
I'm the best hockey player because I practice more than the average player. I am the best because I worked too hard not to be. It is not an opinion it is fact. Most coaches will tell you that teamwork is key and I agree 100%. But, they lie when they say one singular person can't beat a full team of players because I can. That's—how good I am.
I stopped playing hockey because I loved it, years ago. I probably fell out of love with the sport when I was like 13. Now I play hockey because I love someone.
She's always there. Before I hit the ice she's out there destroying it while looking the most beautiful. We hockey players always complain about the figure skaters ruining our ice before we practice but truthfully I don't mind that she's the one ruining it. I wouldn't even mind if she ruined me.
She's already done a lot of damage to me, why not just finish me off and kill all my hopes of ever being in love again. I don't have to be in the rink two hours before practice and go over 'game strategies' when I'm really watching her skate. But I do it anyway because she has a way of pulling me in and then pushing me out. I love it.
I love her. I love seeing her. I love every second I'm in the same rink as her. I love how my mind plays games with me and tricks me into thinking that when she spins she looking straight into my eyes. Because I would rather think that than think about how much she hates me.
. . .
"Darling, you won't know if you don't try," your mom urged.
You let out a long sigh and just got into the car. Your mom was a figure skater on her way to stardom before she tore her ACL and could never compete again.
Anyone who didn't know you and your mom's relationship would assume she was trying to live vicariously through you. Truthfully she was against you doing figure skating, after you decided you wanted to follow in her footsteps and figure skate as well.
You had watched a recording of her last competition. She did pair skating and she was in a last-leg competition to compete for Team USA in the Olympics. When she did her throw triple axel it looked beautiful in the air and the landing was swift. But she started making pained faces and soon enough she fell and couldn’t move her leg.
She had attempted to skate through an injury to her ACL and in the 30 seconds she skated after tearing it, she did irreversible damage to her leg. She was used to performing through pain but she said she had never felt such pain in her whole life. That's what made you want to start skating. The fact that your mother was so devoted to her sport that she could skate through one of the most painful injuries. That sparked your interest, you believed skating could make you strong. And it did but it also made you love.
You were hesitant to go to the figure skating lessons that you begged your parents to take you to because you were nervous. You loved to skate but you couldn't shake the feeling of prying eyes on you when you spun.
Since you were six years old you would go to the rink an hour earlier and practice until you got it right. The hockey boys usually had their practices after yours. So they waited to practice while watching you skate.
You had private lessons ever since you started making a multitude of qualifiers when you were in middle school. So, some of the hockey boys would be going over their game plans while you skated alone and some would just watch.
They didn't like you. Or one of them especially didn't like you. Gojo Satoru. Only the hottest guy in junior year. You had made enemies with him when the two of you were a lot younger. It didn't help that your parents were the best of friends and thought the two of you were close.
Every day you prayed the incident was just a dream and you were going to wake up and go to practice and maybe bump into Gojo and meet him again for the first time under better circumstances.
. . .
You were extremely late for your lessons. You had gone from your middle school promotional courses to tutoring then straight to the rink, no rest. You were running on three hours of sleep as a 13-year-old. As you sprinted down the halls nothing was on your mind but how you were about to apologize to your trainers. The boy's hockey team had a game on the main rink so you had to go to a side rink.
Without looking where you were going immediately slide out to ice. You were deaf and blind to the screaming boys and crowd and the lights shone in your eyes as a member of the opposing team was skating at you with the puck in his possession at full speed.
Wrong rink, wrong time, wrong position. You begged the ice to swallow you and consume you. Your legs were stone and your mind was cluttered. All you could hear was Gojo pleading for you to move out of the way so you wouldn't get hurt while racing towards you.
. . .
The drive to the rink was silent as you let thoughts of how you would possibly make it through practice today run wild. He would be there watching you with those eyes of his.
He had been away for a week at a tournament and you weren't taking it very well. His absence was kryptonite to your performance.
When the blades of your shoes hit the frigid ice you felt his eyes on you. In that moment your body burned like a furnace. No matter how cold his eyes were they had a way of setting you on fire.
The smell of dirty hockey equipment invaded your nose then all your senses. You took position and as your music started you allowed it to carry you across the ice. Once it was time for you to turn you hit every. Single. One. Your spot was blue. Your spot was him. It was good he was back.
Once your piece ended you received some applause from your coaches and some of the hockey boys. All the praise was worth nothing because you could have sworn he was watching you. So when you looked at him to see his arms crossed and gaze directed somewhere else, your heart sunk a little. He was completely unbothered by you, and you hated it.
. . .
I was afraid that if I looked at her after her beautiful performance I might’ve cried. She made her new choreography look unreal. I hadn't seen her in what felt like a lifetime. I missed our little glances that I would always hallucinate were longing, knowing glances.
I missed the 40 seconds in passing that we would talk to each other as I got on the ice and she left the ice. I missed the dinners that our parents would force us to have together. Where we would have a civil conversation 'for our parents' sakes'(I truthfully looked forward to those dinners).
I looked forward to the hug I would give her. My arms wrapped around her cold body. My hands would graze her smaller cold ones. She would be fresh out of the shower after an evening session, and her hair would smell like her fruity shampoo and her sweet honey-scented conditioner. When she walked by me quick enough, the smells would waft and invade my nose and numb my senses.
Even when I looked away from her trying not to look in her direction, my mind wouldn't shut up about her.
. . .
I hated how his lack of attention towards me bothered me so much. I hated how no matter how hard I tried, I could never hate him as much as he probably hated me. Today would be different. You wouldn't bother him today. As you skated off the ice you ignored him and skated right off. It took everything in you not to look back at him.
. . .
You stood unable to move as if your skates were frozen into the ice. Then everything went completely dark and all you could hear was the screams of your parents. You felt someone pushing you to the ground then everything went black.
. . .
next part → 8 days til' christmas
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taglist:
@aripet22
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norahastuff · 1 year
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There’s a lot to like about The Winchesters, but I think one of the reasons it hits so hard for me is that it solves my biggest problem with the finale. Personally, I don’t have a problem with tragic endings. The season 5 finale of Spn has a tragic ending, and I think it’s a wonderful feat of storytelling. Aside from the fact that 15x20 tried to pretend it wasn’t tragic and tried to make it seem like Sam and Dean standing alone on a bridge in Heaven was a happy ending, what I hated most about the finale was they had to flatten Dean into a two-dimensional caricature of himself to do it. Aside from maybe the revelation that Dean stood outside Sam’s apartment at Stanford for hours trying to psych himself up to go in because he was nervous Sam would turn him away, there was no moment in the episode that Dean felt like the complex, nuanced character we had come to know and love over the past 15 seasons. He had no desires or characterisation beyond pie, car and Sammy. There was no sign of all the growth we’ve seen from him, no hint of his own needs, wants or sense of self. I mean, he wasn’t even allowed to interact with his own heaven before Sam showed up. Even after his death, he was never allowed to have anything that was just his. 
Look, I’ve said all this a hundred times before – if you look at my 15x20 tag, it’s basically just this sentiment repeated over and over again – so why am I saying it again now? Well, because The Winchesters is fixing that. The mission Dean is on is all his. It’s not about Sam, or pie or whatever surface level bullshit that finale tried to boil Dean down to. He’s going back to the past, he’s meddling in something insane because he sees value in it, and in the process going on a journey to understand himself better. His narration makes it pretty clear that through this quest he’s learning to contextualise his own life and feelings better. The past presents the future, after all (full disclosure, that’s an Ugly Betty episode title that I just really loved and use far too often in casual conversation), and one of the biggest hang ups in Dean’s life was that he was given this mythologised version of events and expected to believe them. Mary was this perfect saintly mother who sat at home baking cookies all day before she was brutally, and through no fault of her own, ripped away from them. John was the perfect mild-mannered husband and father who only slid into anger and obsession after he lost his perfect wife. 
Eventually Dean realises that none of that is true. Mary couldn’t cook. She was a hunter. She was involved in the circumstances that brought about her own death. She was a complicated person, and in the end he got the chance to see that knowing the real her, flaws and all, was infinitely superior to believing the white-washed fairytale about the perfect martyr that John created after she died. There’s also the fact that John was never the perfect husband or father, even before Mary’s death. We get maybe one reference to that in Spn, how in Dean’s heaven in season 5 he remembers John and Mary fighting and John moving out for a few days, but not much else. The focus is very much on how John turned into a neglectful parent and an angry man after Mary’s death. But The Winchesters is working hard to dispel that lie. John always had this anger in him. Mary even calls him out multiple times on how he’s using her and their relationship as an excuse to avoid his issues. She straight up uses those words. There are also references to how raising your kids to be soldiers and being their drill sergeant rather than their parent is one of the worst things a parent can do to their child. 
Anyway, as interesting as it is to see all these things addressed in the Spn universe, what’s so damn satisfying is seeing Dean realise it. Dean’s on a mission to learn more about his past. To understand that our parents and where we come from shapes and moulds the people we become, but it doesn’t have to define us forever if we don’t let it. By accepting his past and finding out the truth about who his parents truly were, he can accept himself and move forward, free of whatever baggage that had been dragging him down for so much of his life.
And the greatest part about all of this, is that Dean’s the one driving this story. It’s not God, or his father or even his duty to take care of Sam which dictated so much of his life and his choices before. This is about Dean’s choices and who he is as a person and what he wants. It’s funny because as little as we saw John Winchester in season 1 of Spn, he was very much the spectre hanging over the story, and the search to find him is what drove much of the plot throughout the season. Much of what his sons were doing was in reaction to him. And now in The Winchesters, Dean himself is the spectre that’s been hanging over the season. He’s the one making the big moves and steering the action. He’s the one everyone, friend and foe alike, is looking for. He’s the one who gave John the note and put this whole thing into motion. After the ending of Spn took away so much of his agency and everything that makes Dean Dean, he’s finally getting it back and then some.
I’m excited to see how the season’s going to end, but I’ll forever be happy that this show gave us Dean being his own person again. He’s the one picking the music this time.
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