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drkcnry67 · 4 years ago

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break the news... (day 14)

A/N: @obxmermaid this is the 14th entry in the lives of Draco and YN as we get closer to christmas they have now been stuck in the school as their classmates have gone elsewhere for the holidays. but a fire message from YN’s parents inviting them to a gathering makes this a whole less boring.

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Prompt: “come on down for the weekend, the family is gathering and we would be honored to have you both here.”

mentioning: @sweetness47

25 days of hogwarts

the message, ah yes the fire message a way for wizards and witches to communicate without the use of modern technology. also very good way to be somewhat discreet.

this is how you got a fire message that changed your weekend of a lifetime.

“dearest daughter, you and Draco are invited to come home for the weekend to enjoy our family gathering. this is the one day a year as you know that the entire family gets together under one roof, grudges and petty judgements go out the window. minus your father who is doing well, but the doctors are getting his magic up to full strength again. please reply and say you both will be in attendance for it would mean the world to us. love mom.”

you turned to draco as you both took one look at the fire message and smiled.

Draco: i guess we need to pack a weekend bag. we can share a bag right?

YN: yep. but a fair warning this weekend my family will be doing all sorts of magic. its like this every single damn year. its basically one big game of catch up that lasts the entire weekend.

just as draco was about to speak your fire place went crazy. then a figure resembling your mother appeared.

YN: mom?

Laura: ah daughter thank goodness i found the right one. so did you get the fire message...

YN: yes we were just discussing it.

Laura: oh come on down for the weekend, the family is gathering and we would be honored to have you both here. please say you will come... you know the family will want to know how you are doing and meet draco...

YN: yes thats what im afraid of, all the grilling and questions and and... oh fine.. but do us all a favor and hide the bourbon from uncle ned, you know how lushy he gets. wait which place is it at this year?

Laura: ive already done that... oh dont worry ive spoken to dumbledore by fire message he will have a port key ready.

YN: oh so you knew i would say yes.

laura: i hoped you would. now we will see you both on friday at 3pm or sooner. by the way your father is fine. i know you probably got my update note but to reaffirm he is fine. he woke up. the doctors were able to heal him all up. he wont be at the feast they are keeping him a few more days to make sure he is fully functional with his magic.

YN: we will have to find time to visit him then...

Laura: yes. now we will see you both in a few days. remember YN be nice to these people they are family but they are gonna be ruthless to anything they dont understand yet.

YN: what do you mean?

Laura: i mean some of the family is old school like they dont think open relationship policy is a good idea.

YN: well this will be a shock for them then. see you on friday mom.

the fire went back to normal as you flopped back onto the couch your head spinning, you know how your family reacts to the abnormal.

You bringing home a boy, who is not from your own house is like people who don't listen to the law.

The law is hard but it is the law. This was one thing you were desperately prepared to fight for, this was your life you werent gonna let your family determine how you get to live it.

anyway back to the story, you and draco decided to pack and you both went to dumbledore’s office on friday at noon and went through the port key landing just outside of paris at one of your family country mansions.

Draco: love, this place is incredible so why would we not come here more often.

YN: cause i want to be independent so i take only what i need and every month they transfer 10,000 into my bank account and another 10,000 into my gringotts. both of these accounts were of my parents doing, not mine. but its mostly their way of support before we go further we need to figure out how to approach this to my family.

Draco cups your cheeks and kisses you when he pulled back he spoke calmly.

Draco: we will handle this with smiles, and friendliness and happy thoughts, we are the only people who matter in this relationship, the people who support us matter as long as they support our union. at the end of it, we are the ones that matter and have final say in this relationship. that and the ministry when we tell fudge.

YN: yes that, we need to do that soon... maybe sooner than we think if this dinner doesnt go well.

Draco: well lets go inside, im sure your mom knows we are here... dear we are just prolonging the inevitable.

YN: your right. lets go... but im surprised that someone isnt here to greet me...

you let out a sharp whistle, letting your purse sit now on the ground. just as you did that, you heard a screech.

Draco: what was that love?

YN: that is my griffin...

Draco: im sorry what...

just then a griffin with golden feathers with tints of black and brown through it lands in front of you. approaching you as you bow, the griffin nuzzles your face with its own.

YN: i missed you too girl. Draco, this is Opal. Opal this is Draco my boyfriend.

Opal turns to draco, Draco bows to Opal who approaches Draco and sniffs him and waits a few seconds and then nuzzles Draco’s head. draco then began petting Opal.

YN: she likes you, its always polite etiquette to bow to a griffin or a hippogriff before approaching it. this gesture will show the griffin that you are not a threat. this is a show of good faith. of good will.

Draco: opal, I think we need a guard to get to the door.

Opal growls lightly before leading the way to the door. You both get to the door and opal nudges you before she bows letting you and Draco go inside. your mother comes round the corner from the kitchen and rushes to hug you.

Laura: im so glad you both are here... now YN your room is fully prepared for you and Draco. not to worry i pre warned most of the family that someone has a big announcement. no one questioned or said anything. not to worry though, people will begin to arrive in a few hours. go on up and un pack.

YN: its good to see you too mom. this way love.

you take draco by the hand as you both walk upstairs down the hall and too the right. into your master suite or as you call it “the tower”. this room complete with your own walk in closet, a king size canopy bed, your own bathroom. decorated in a teal color to combine yours and dracos magic essence.

YN: this is our room for the weekend.

Draco: its perfect. i love this bed and the color and you.

You turned to face him, to meet his eyes with your own.

YN: careful love thats seduction in your tones. we have 2 years to wait before we can be married. or even consider that possibility.

Draco: doesnt mean we can lay here for as long as possible and just play wizards chess or something.

you snap your fingers and you both were laying with a wizards chess board on the bed.

YN: we are gonna play this till we are called several thousand times. by everyone who wants to see me and grill me and... ugh... this is stupid.... my family is so passed screwed that its a long long time between gatherings for the reason of they dont know what they want, against every fibre of better judgement that they have, they dont know how much the world has changed.

Draco: love don't worry too much. Let's just play and not worry about anything else right now. Nothing is gonna ruin our weekend. Nothing at all. i believe white goes first love.

you have been planning your entire strategy for this game you were 6 moves ahead of draco and you planned to keep it that way.

YN: pawn to g4

draco: knight to f6

YN: pawn to g5

draco: knight to d5

YN: knight to a3

draco: pawn to e5

to this point you had counted for every angle every move that draco could possibly counter.

YN: knight to c4

Draco: queen to g5

you now had an opportunity to get rid of his queen if you did it correctly.

YN: pawn to d3

draco: queen to f6

YN: knight to a5

draco: pawn to b5

YN: knight to f3

draco: your good love, but im slightly better... bishop to b7

YN: only as a slight... but not better enough. Knight to b7

Draco: knight to c6

YN: pawn to e3

Draco: love that wasnt very smart of you... knight to e3

YN: love that also wasnt smart of you. Pawn to e3

draco: clever love, pawn to d5

YN: bishop to d2

draco: pawn to e4

You smile as you begin to make Draco think you are preparing to checkmate his king.

YN: bishop to B4

Draco: oh my dear you are not gonna win right now... bishop to b4, by the way love, check...

you were so unsure of what to do, now looking at the board you knew now that you were screwed, you were about to loose.

you had to attempt to get your king out of check.

YN: im not gonna go down without a final attempt... king to e2

draco: sorry love, queen to f3... i believe its checkmate!

Yn: how I had this all planned out, I had this all planned out... Omg congrats love you win.

You kissed Draco, his hands pushing the chess board off the bed. That started the make out session of the next 10 min. Before someone came up the stairs and knocked on your door...

You turned toward the door and snapped your fingers...

Yn: come on in

You and Draco sat on the bed in each other's embrace watching as the door opened to reveal Hermione Harry and Ron.

You both got up and embraced them. They were here but how did they know.

Hermione: didn't think I would miss family gathering weekend did you... plus i figured we could use the backup, plus these 3 are the first outsiders at this family weekend. you my dear cousin could use a little bit of extra happiness before the rest of our family arrive. besides did you show Draco the extension of the grounds. all the griffins that you have trained.

YN: he did meet opal who took to him right away. he did surprisingly well for his first encounter with a griffin. But tomorrow we will go to the griffin sanctuary. Tonight we meet the family. I've been avoiding going down, how many are here yet?

Hermione: too many, more than usually show up first. no one has fought yet so its good and pleasant so far. cuz we should put on the family crest!

though you didnt want to Hermione pulled out a bag from your closet and led you into the washroom. you both put on the knee length black dresses and did a hair check before exiting back to the guys.

Draco took one look at you, came over and kissed you...

Draco: that dress is absolutely gorgeous on you!

YN: thank you love, this is the family crest, its style takes after our hogwarts crests. but it is our family crest. i however look forward to the day when we can be married where we have the freedom to disappear under new names so we can live our lives in hiding, in peace.

no one except draco heard you say those words as your ears heard the sound of fencing swords... you and hermione took off down the stairs and watched as your uncles all have fencing swords and are fencing throughout the house/property.

YN: well the fun begins. hermione tell the guys to stay upstairs im gonna stay here and watch this wait for my chance to intervene.

hermione: i should be by your side for this...

YN: no you should wait with the guys, make sure you give them their anti tracking bracelets. make sure that they understand the rules, make sure that they know what they are and are not allowed to do while here. make the rules abundantly clear.

Hermione gives you a swift nod, realizing that you were right, she went back upstairs to the boys. You let out a ear pi3rcing whistle forcing your family present to stop in their tracks.

Yn: family, family should we not be calm, should we be merry and sheath our swords for it is supposed to be the one weekend out of the year where we gather together as one whole magical family, but today you me, you pessimistic grown ass men are acting like children on this the weekend of peace. So every man in here and on this property shall hence forth not herald another sword as long as we all exist within this property border, for today i tell you all that im the one with the announcement.

You turn to see hermione coming down the stairs, draco following behind her, harry and ron behind him. Draco comes up at your side, proudly sporting his house crest as he places his hand to your own.

YN: this man beside me is my announcement, this young man is my boyfriend of 2 and a half years, this is Draco Malfoy. yes his parents are followers of you-know-who but Draco is different, i saved him from his parents, i saved him from whatever they wanted for him, more importantly we saved each other. without draco i would not be standing before you all to declare that my parents have blessed this union and we are the start of the open house relationship policy in the wizarding world, which now states “any witch or wizard that so sees fit to love someone not of their own house shall be free to be with whoever their heart desires within or without their house crest. for eternity shall this be!” Draco and i will be the first of a long line of students to follow our hearts. if i earn not even one of your approvals this weekend just know this, my parents support us and these 3 behind us support us, the school and its professors and students support us. we are supported and loved in every single direction. but a week ago Draco gave me this necklace with our couples initials and our anniversary date which pairs perfectly with this ring i gave him, neither of us are leaving this relationship and no one can make us.

for the room was silent all eyes were on you, and neither you nor draco said anything else, you both just walked over to the kitchen to help mom with some baking and rolling of spring rolls, and mixing of drinks yet still no one said anything, they just all stared at you both.

by the end of the first day you guys had been among the people, no one said a word to either of you. the night was peaceful, you both stood out on the balcony as opal slept beside where you both stood (yes the balcony is big enough for a griffin to sleep on... odd how story telling can be warped to our standards as authors) you both went inside after an hour and a bit later and went to sleep.

the next morning when you both woke it was to the sound of drills and hammers, something was going down and from the sound of it something was happening.

you both went to the balcony and discovered that the family was building something in the yard. opal was freaking out but she was also tied to a post in the yard.

YN: either my family has decided to work together or we are in lots of trouble.

thats when you received a fire message.

YN: its from my cousin she says that the family locked her ron harry and my mother in the barn with the griffins, tied up opal and insist on crucifying us all insisting we are all under the dark lords influence unless you and draco renounce your relationship and never see each other again.

Draco: what are we going to do... i cant live without you, and im never going to renounce our love.

YN: i have an idea but im gonna need you to do a fire message as well, send one to hermione in the barn tell her that she needs to comfort my mother, help is on the way... i have 1 message to send myself, to hogwarts.

you prepared your message as draco did his, you both sent them off, you knew hermione couldnt reply but she could receive, the one going to hogwarts however arrived in the hands of who you addressed it.

dumbledore received the message, he summoned minerva and snape to his office...

Dumbledore: im afraid this is not a social call, this is quite urgent in fact, a literal matter of life or death. YN and Draco had left yesterday to YN’s parents place, but i just received an urgent fire message... this reads, “Headmaster, this message is Urgent! we need help my family didnt take the news of me and Draco being together very well, they plan to crucify us, to crucify mine, hermiones, dracos, harrys, rons and my moms magical and physical forms. we need assistance, they have me and draco locked in the tower, and the others in the barn. please bring help, we need to get out of here. but they boarded the room we have a balcony but we wouldnt survive the jump. help us, get us out of here, by any means necessary and headmaster thank you for letting me and Draco live our lives together. help us asap!”

minerva: what do we have to do albus, how do we save the children and YN’s mother...

Dumbledore: quite easily, we 3 are going to YN’s family property where i will tqalk to the courtyard, one of you goes to the barn, the other goes to the tower, we meet back in the courtyard hopefully with everyone safe and sound. hopefully in that time frame i will have calmed down the courtyard and come up with a plan. now lets go...

the 3 professors by port key traveled and arrived outside the gate to your family estate. with 3 wands this would surely work better than expected.

snape, minerva & dumbledore: bombarda maxima

with that the gate, and half the wall on either side of the gate blew up, shattered into a thousand pieces. the explosion was loud enough to shake the entire estate. you and draco stood up slightly knowing that help had arrived.

your family on the other hand saw snape, minerva and dumbledore walk through the debris and they parted like the red sea, going completely silent, dropping whatever they were holding. for they all knew that this was not gonna be an easy task.

snape went toward the barn in which he found Harry, Ron, Hermione & of course your mom in the corner tied up like animals. he used his wand to untie them all and then waited for the signal to start emerging from the barn.

minerva went inside the house and up the stairs, where she found and broke down your tower door.

Minerva: time to go grab what you need lets go.

YN: thank you so much professor for coming.

Minerva: i am just glad im not too late... now lets see what dumbledore is saying to your family.

Dumbledore was now on a platform speaking to your family. or at least those that were in the courtyard.

Dumbledore: these children have done no harm, these people have made nothing wrong, why do you all believe they should be crucified, they have done nothing wrong except learn to love.

one person exclaimed: they are working for the dark lord

another person exclaimed: their relationship is toxic and needs to be purified by crucifixion

another person screamed: cause its not right, this is not how the rules dictate...

dumbledore was fed up with all the same types of answers...

Dumbledore: i albus dumbledore have seen the love that these 2 children share, ive seen it projected through their school work and through their vocals, its as pure and good as any in house relationships that have happened. ive decreed this to the school and am waiting for my meeting with the ministry to tell them about this. it will be a few weeks for that but i state this to you all: whoever goes from here to another soul and speaks ill of what has happened here shall henceforth no more have the ability to speak anything bad, and further more i decree that as long as there are good people running hogwarts, the houses can be free to love whosoever they desire! this began with Draco and YN, this decree is sealed by the signing of this parchment by me, professor mcgonigal, professor snape, YN and Draco. these 2 and the rest of their friends and family are not to come to any harm... now commence with the signing... YN and Draco first, then minerva and severus, i will sign last.

you and draco walked up to the parchment, you signed it first then handed the pen to draco who followed in signing the parchment. then minerva and severus signed next, then dumbledore before he spoke again.

Dumbledore: now all of you clean this yard up, none of you will be able to speak of this day, none of you will remember the horrors that were unleashed today. now go back to cleaning this yard and repairing this wall, YN didnt come back for family weekend and you guys do not remember anything.

the spoken words echo on the property as your mom gave you, hermione, draco, harry and ron a longing look that seemed to say ill see you soon. like that you all ended up back at hogwarts in dumbledores office.

Dumbledore: i wonder if i could speak with YN and Draco alone a moment.

Minerva: of course Albus, i will make sure these children make it back to the dorms. come along children.

the 5 people left the room leaving you and Draco alone in the office.

dumbledore: now children lets speak a bit about what happened...

YN: its my fault headmaster, i was so looking forward to telling my family, i didnt know it would go that wrong... i thought the old laws were no longer in effect, that crucifixions were illegal in the muggle and wizarding worlds.

Dumbledore: unfortunately the old laws are the laws that were drilled deeply into lots of witches and wizards and mostly in pureblood families such as both of yours. but unfortunatly we can not change their minds or their ways for that matter, the only thing we can do about this is move forward starting with my meeting with the ministry. now i expect you both to take the day, relax, take a load off and just relax its best not to speak of what happened to anyone its better that not very many people know yet. now be off, spend as much time as needed to push this days events from your minds.

you and draco walk out of the room, down the hall, through the changing stair cases to the shared dorm, where your room was.

He walked through the door with you, you both fell back on the bed. Just exhausted mentally.

Draco: are you OK love?

Yn: no I'm not... My family rejected me, rejected our relationship. for that they will have to learn the hard way with the decree, hopefully they will listen to that and hopefully when and or if fudge decides to make the announcement in the daily prophet. i know every single member of my family makes the effort to read the daily prophet... So we are gonna make sure it's front page worthy...

You turned over to face him and watched his eyes search your own. He was concerned about you, about your feelings, about your well being.

Draco brushed his hand gently against your cheek and smiled.

Draco: just lean into me and close your eyes. Don't dwell on what happened, dwell on our future think about that.. I love you YN, I love you so much! Just relax my love, just relax.

You leaned into the arms of your love, and happily lulled off to a state of peace and relaxation. You were not sure what tomorrow would hold but as long as nothing else bad happened you would be fine.

~to be continued~

#obxmermaidholiday #plot twist

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strawberryspeachy · 6 years ago

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I have so many time periods in my life that were fucking miserable (my whole life so lol) but most of them im like

Man. I wish i could go back with the knowledge i have now and change shit

But my senior year of college still takes the cake. I would not repeat that fucking year given the chance. I legit for real am npt exaggerating at all when i say I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GRADUATED. What strength i had. How did i do it??

I lost all of my friends. I lived with girls who made me feel worse about myself. My classes were super difficult and busy. My mom had finally admitted to me that she knew she was forgetting things.

I BECAME bulimic. That wasnt something i did before that year. Bulimic to the point where if i ate more than one peice or bread i felt guilty. Sometimes i coild rationalize to myself that i ate a healthy and appropriate meal but after 20 minutes id start panicking. That i HAD TO go throw it up. I HAD TO. if i didnt id regret it so i hadddd toooo

I didnt eat some days

And it went beyond the point of. All i have is my skinny body. It went to i hate myself and my life and i deserve to suffer. I dont deserve food. If i keep doing this maybe my body will fuck up enough that i die.

And speaking of death. It was the first time i fully tried to kill myself. I played with the idea before. Id do risky things on the off chance that id die doing it. Sometimes risky enough that i was surprised i even did it and got really scared afterwards thinking about ever doing them again. But id never made a plan. Got materials. And tried and fell asleep thinking id really never wake up. And i did it a couple times. And honestly i think i killed a part of me that year.

I cried all the time. I was just a zombie with a painted smile on my face so i could get help in class from other people. But i never actually smiled. And the second i walked in my room id start crying. All that bottled up energy released. And there was too much.

I used to fall out of my chair cause i was crying so much and id just roll around on the floor and then yell at myself to get my ass back in the chair and to keep studying. And i did. And id keep crying. And i kept studying.

And i took adderal several times a week. It wasnt even working. But it had a crack effect on me and would make me really happy and optimistic for no reason

I dont remember ever feeling confident in my studys. I walked into every exam terrifyed.

I was scared the entire year that i was gonna fail.

I was so out of it that i didnt even notice the stress permanently altered my apperance. Eveyone said i grew up. No the stress aged me. I didnt notice my hair fell out or how my chin seemed to grow. Or how my skin greyed

Theres no way to make thay year better. That was an awful year.

I have no point in this.

Just like that year and the two following it... which... issss 2014-2015-2016 to 2017

Like id completed three years of college. I had to graduate. I couldnt get out of that with a clear mind. And then coming home. None of my friends lived at home. I couldnt find a job. I took what i could get. I couldnt leave home. I had to stay for my mom. I had to and i wanted to.

Im thinking about it cause i could have immediately came to japan out of college. And i knew it then. I chose not to. I wanted to go home and be with my mom. And my family made that a nightmare. And watching her and taking care of her while she went downhill... i dont think ill be able to face those feelings... for many years to come. (I mean hopefilly not if i died while writing this id be happy) but theres really no getting around the fact that having completed my finance degree in college. My only choice was to end up as a server

My 13 year old dog died. My 18 year old cat died. My mom was shitting all over the house and refusing to sleep or eat. The woman who i hated so much that i went to work early and smiled while offering to stay later because “at least im not at home” finally died.

One day she told me she was gonna kick me out of the house (for the zillionth time) she screamed and yelled at me. And i went to work. And i came home and she was standing outside of the front door. I thought about continuing to drive and coming back later when shed moved. But for whatever reason i stopped and got out still hoping shed be gone by the time i walked up. She wasnt. She didnt even notice i was there. I was tempted to walk past her and go in. But i didnt. I asked her what was wrong. She said she could take the step to the sidewalk. And i helped her. And she rambled to me about how she thought shed be stuck there all night and how she didnt know what was wrong. The last time i saw her she had been screaming at me about how im a worthless spoiled lazy rude mean old adult acting like a baby. So. I really didnt have much sympathy to give her. I couldnt even talk. I was still mad. She thanked me. I said she was welcome. Thats all i remember. That was about 3 months before she died. If i went back to that exact moment knowing that information. I honestly dont think id change anything... she was.... so mean... so needlessly mean... im still mad about every time i was mad at her

Unlike my mom. Who i dreamed about this week. I had a dream that i was home just living my regular life in high school. And i did something. And my mom was yelling at me. And we got into an argument. Just one of those nonsense arguments that dont mean much. And in my dream i was like ugh my moms so annoying. And i woke up. And i miss her so much. What i wouldnt do to listen to my mom yell at me about something like taking too long to get ready. Or putting something in the wrong place. Or forgetting to do some chore she asked me to do. My mom with her fully functioning brain yelling at me because ive inconvenienced some plan that she has made for hersef that day. Thats shes fully capable of doing herself. And will do no matter what anyone says cause you dont mess with her schedule - you work with it.

I actually woke up and smiled. When you grow up do you ever think youll think about your parent full blown going off on you about something kinda dumb would ever make you smile...

Anyhow... that boy at work i like. I tried to be cute. He said he texts his friends back when he wants to when i pestered him about having not responded to my mesage. I was like

Oh thats the second time youve called me your friend! :) were friends :D

I just wanted a chuckle and for him to say yea yea were friends

But instead.... he said no. Were coworkers.

And i said you can be friends with your coworkers

Which led to a super long.... turned into argument...

Where he told me no. He doesnt need more friends. He only talks to me because he has to. He doesnt like me. He doesnt want to talk to me. He doesnt like when he has to talk to me. He has plenty of time to hang out with friends but not me cause im not his friend and he does not want to hang out with me. Dont ask him questions. Dont talk to him for more than a minute. He only said yes to hanging out with me because i was new to the country. His girlfriend didnt want him to and he decided he didnt want to after thinking about it. He wont change his mind. And he got really mad while telling me that his dumbass gf gets mad when i text him. And that he doesnt wanna talk to me out of work and at work only about work nothing else.

Most of that was unprovoked information. Like.. a quarter of it came from my “so were friends?” Remark. Another quarter of it came from my “coworkers can become friends” remark. And given half of it.... i brought up that he liked talking to me enough that he said he wanted to hang out with me - so you fan guess what quarter of the information came from that... oh sorry did i say quarters. I guess i meant thirds.

Extra shitty cause its a big jump from the boy who was engaging in actual conversation with me yesterday and moved so close to me that he was cms away from resting his head on me shoulder. Many times. Actually over the past couple days.

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cosmickeyframe · 6 years ago

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Escapism (Link in Description) by CosmicChrissy

(a little story below, as I want to start writing little stories for pics involving gemsona shenanigans. Dont worry, after this story it gets a lot brighter, this takes place a few years before she leaves “her” kindergarten, starts exploring the world and meeting other gems.)

"Ugh, will this rain EVER end?" Turquoise grimanced from the safety of her hole. It's been raining for so long, Turq has lost track of how many days have passed. Not that it would matter though; in her Kindergarten, each day and night looks exactly the same. Bored, she mindlessly took in the view from her very humble abode. The cave stood high up against the canyon, adjacent to its many empty neighbors. It wasn't much, but it was strangely wide and deep enough for the blue hued gem to stretch her legs and keep dry from the constant wet and muggy weather. One quick high jump and she could nestle in after a long day of surveying the barren landscape for the 5000th time. This place was all she knew, after all. From the moment she formed all she knew was the Kindergarten. It was her home. Then, why didn't she feel right here? That question racks her mind everyday as she walks around the remenants of the gem injectors. She constantly rummaged through these machines, taking a bolt or a strange looking reactor for some entertaining tinkering later. These giant machines may be a core aspect of gem life, but to her though, these were just strange hunks of metal, the scant knowledge she has of them inherent to every gems mind. Everytime, as she reaches the Kindergartens enterance, she sees the horizon ahead, possessing the slightest hints of colors shes never seen outside of her own bright form. Everyday she gets closer to leaving to see the source of those colors... and everynight she finds herself back in her hole with her little "toys". 'But thats okay' She thought that every time she had any trace of doubt. Eventually, her Emerald will come back for her. The only gem shes ever seen. Turquoise remembers the moment she bursted from her hole, which she swore was smaller, and them being there with a knowing, caring look.

The green gem only said "You're going to be okay. I'll protect you." She doesnt remember much after that, just 'waking up' in the Kindergarten, alone. But hey, they'll be back, Turq was sure of it. They said they'll protect her. They assured that. How would they know where she was if she wandered off, right? She looked up at the storm, watching the admittedly calming stream of rain come down. She swung out her leg and leaned against the enterance of her hole, letting droplets wash over her face. She admits, it does get lonely, even aggrivating being in this place for so long. Counting holes and seeing which one makes the loudest echo is only fun for so long. Once they come back for her though, all will be well, the rain would stop, and she'll be back with her kind. If she knows anything about herself, it's that she is quite literally a ball of light in a dark place. "Maybe other Turquoises are like that too..." She smiled to herself, speaking to no one. She let that thought sit in her mind, looking up at the shower, her expression fading. 'Maybe..."

#gemsona #turquoise #story #fanart #steven universe

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aphaskengland-bitter-tea-drinker · 7 years ago

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Okie dokie :) I hope you don't mind I organized the quotes chronologically and to each au to be easier:)

Au 1 -80's biker au

Arthur is at work at the cafe when bikers walk in, ( Ivan, Ludwig, Matt, and more)

Arthur- *disinterest glance at the costumers to the point it's an art form*

Arthur- what do you lads want. *flatly*

Ivan attempts to flirt kinda, trying to be friendly

Arthur- unfortunately yes. Apparently even school after college is expensive, who knew. *glares annoyed *

Orders are taken and the bikers converse

Ludi- no it isn't Matt, prostitutes are one of the oldest jobs in the world.

Ludi-so ivan. What's making you act like a twat

Ludi- if Ivan could get out here and stop failing to flirt with the waiter, it would be great

Arthurs co worker, feli. Flirts with Ludwig as is routine for every time the bikers visit

Ludwig- *sighs*

Ludi- * is deceased*

Ludi- no. Maybe.

Ludi- can we Please. Leave.

Peeps leave, feli asks why Arthur rejects all advances

Arthur- I'm not obligated to.

To change the awkward topic, Arthur tells feli about some weird stuff he saw, shifty stuffs. Crime breakin. Stuff

Arthur- *taps his temple* here and written one other place you'll never find

Feli freaks out and tells Arthur basically he can't tell anyone, Arthur says he should go to the police, and feli tells him he'd die if he went to the police

Arthur- *stares* ... well... I wasn't planning on living that long any long, besides, I won't tell them who told me feli.

Feli, realizing he has no choice, since he's part of the mob * dun dUn DuUn!* feli pulls a gun

Arthur- uh *backs up*

Arthur- *sputters incoherently*

Trap door, look I dunno

Arthur- *falling* WHY DO YOU Even have this......?! *hits the ground* ow fuck.

Arthur- Erghhh fuck

Arthur Escaped, but his full escape was blocked. By a person. In the way. Becuase Ivan forgot something. Damn. Seeing the gun, Ivan says something to the effect of "we are in trouble "

Arthur- no really? What could have possibly tipped you off

Uh bad guy- get back. Into the. Base-basement?

Arthur- no! If your gonna shoot me do it! This gravel will at least make it difficult to clean up!

Pistol whip! Yay!

Ok the pair wake up. In le evil mob basement, uh. Uh. And talk

Arthur- I don't study escaping kidnapping. I study cancer treatment. I'm pretty sure as a biker, dealing with hooligans is in your territory

Arthur- you should know, if we get caught. I'd sell you to Satan for a cornchip. And I don't even like corn chips.

More escApE

Arthur- *putting his shoe back on* ...I'm not as innocent as you might think and we are basically in this together now.

Basically Arthur is free, Ivan isn't. Ivan say leave without me I'm injured I'll only slow you down * self pity blah blah gonna be a "hero"*

Arthur finds this annoying so spite saving it is

Arthur- your not the boss of me.

Arthur- sorry i can't hear you over the sound of me saving you

Arthur help Ivan with his injury

Arthur- sucks to suck, if it helps, I'm top of my clasS

Arthur- at least buy me dinner first *joking nervously as he looks at the scary Russian who might kill him*

Arthur- ladies first *doesnt like cobwebs*

Arthur- sometimes *goes out of sight* the answer *dragging sound* is more obvious *pushes a chair up against the wall* then you think.

Arthur- *pulls himself up through the window* hah!

What a Clean escape! They get to a car and start their life on the run! Meanwhile feli does the same, knowing he'll get punished for fucking up. He also bumps Into a biker, the biker he often flirts with in fact. Ludwig, being ignorant to the situation ( and woo-ed) agrees to help feli

Ludwig- * laughs brightly* no * fixes it* the helmet on feli's head

While Arthur and Ivan continue their seamless escape, they get pulled over by a rookie police officer ( mr jett) but Ivan realizes since the city is corrupt even if this cop is good, Arthur and himself going to jail means the hands of the mob. He presses Arthur to open the car door into the officers face. A lot of silent whisper arguing later, Arthur assaults the officer with the door and drives away. Ivan thinking it would be good to say " nice job" he's wrong. Arthur is angry about being pressured into the life of crime. He just wanted to be a doctor, hence~

Arthur- JUST GIMME THE BLOODY DIRECTIONS YOU OFFICIOUS CUNT

Given the directions to the safe house by the very surprised Russian biker, they arrive.

Arthur- it's just. This no offense is the worst thing I've ever seen

The safe house is less than ideal. Very. Um. Loud?

Arthur- *wakes up* what the hell is that racket

Arthur- this is horrific. hOrrIFiC!

Arthur- *throws silent tantrum*

B-bonding?

Arthur- oh fuuuuucckkkkk you. Fuck you and your "I should be happy to be alive". This *gestures to the basement and then the noisy ceiling* is Not! My portrait of living. And I can't start over again! I can't. Your allotted only so many chances. And I've used mine.

Arthur- your an idiot.

Arthur- .... what the hell man.

Arthur- becuase id rather die a stubborn cunt than a fucking pussy!

LIKE A REAAAAALLLY LONG TIME LATER ARTHUR gets captured. Again. And naturally the following is how all would respond to a mob boss. Right? Right.

Arthur- *cringing* yes well that's what father Donavan said too.

Arthur- well I would prefer to go out with a bang- get it?

Au2

Single dads au, y'all know that other blog

Arthur- oh lovely now I actually have to work. *sighs*

Describing mental stability to boyfriend after traumatic experience

Arthur- all is tip top up here. * taps temple*

Arthur- I have a theory I broke when I was 17 in biology class and since then this is just who I am now and I can't get more stressed than I already am,

Arthur- I assume.

Arthur- I don't want him touching my stuff.

Arthur- *snorts* that's a bit pretentious don't you think?

Arthur- so... anything new

Ludwig being normal? Uh yeah? Normal teen boy person? No.

Ludwig- *remembers he's supposed to host* do you desire quenching?

Ludi- *looks at the ceiling fan.

Au 3 poet prince Ludwig

He's a poet and a prince that used to be a peasant but they discovered him of royal blood so know he's getting groomed. He's a psychic to make matters harder

His poetry

Laziness is the mother of efficiency, Being human is overrated, Like all things, it begs for death, She sleeps, misdemeanors dancing in her head

Buying a plant

Ludwig- *starring at the flytrap* this is how I want to die

Ludwig- to poison people? *interested ( looking at tomato plant)

Ludwig- *fools. I plan to procure many of them to kill me, not one giant one* thank you

Ludwig- *frowns slightly, *

Training

*has no training whatsoever the goal seems so just be hits some shit

Ludwig- ? Fight the tree?

Ludwig- *laying on the ground with his eyes closed * Gilbert "what are you doing Ludwig- *opens one eye* Ludwig- pretending to be dead

Ludwig- * wants to destroy all germs

Ghost conversing. Like you do

Ludwig- uh. Yeah well. Shouting out the window . Yeah

Ludwig- piano is cool... is that your grave outside?

Ludwig- ugh. All you've done is expose my deepest shame and confuse me

#this took so long becuase it kept deleting everything :(#but nevertheless i prevail #aph hetalia #aph england #aph britain #aph fanart #aph hetalia fanart #aph #aph fruk #aph france #aph germany

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simbar4lifelol · 7 years ago

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A huge Soy Luna S3 rant lol

Im not complaining about simbar rn, they've been the best. But i honestly cant believe the show is gonna be over on friday. Like what even happened in s3?!?! I always payed more attention to my ship obviously lol but since they would only come out for like two minutes each episode, I have to admit i was bored out of my mind with everything else that was going on:/

The flow of the story was so odd and i cant help but feel like this story is incomplete now. I know several people have pointed out that the story was over s2 and i have to agree. The real plot ended in s2 and we had a s3 with no direction of what the show was going to be about next. It literally was just about boys and revenge.

Of Course a show could be just about that, but since this is disney the way it was all presented wasnt interesting enough, especially with how long they dragged everything with just that. They definitely did not know what to do with their secondary characters and they just came across(well at least to me) like a waste of space. All the characters could have done more. And i feel this is why s3 doesnt feel complete.

Luna had nothing going for her but thinking about relationships. So, since she is the protagonist no one else was allowed to do anything else. These characters had so much potential and this is where i get disappointed with how s3 turned out. When they would do something outside of relationships, for example skating or the open musics, absolutely nothing would happen afterwards. The characters werent further explored and they just never grew. When you would think they would do something different, they would just go back to exactly how they were before. Like when the girls formed their own group for about 3 episodes and then they just broke up. And nothing came from that but one performance.

Nothing happened with the roller band either. Didnt they have a bunch of fans?!?! Nico is not even missed because he didnt contribute anything. Nina only ever wrote something in her blog thingy to blackmail gary and she was just put together with erik for her to do something else aside from just asking luna who she likes the whole season. Jim and yam started off trying to figure out what to do after graduation but ended up in the shadow of what does luna need. Ramiro went to the red sharks then nothing. He leaves the red sharks, hes forgiven then nothing. Jazmin, oh jazmin we know nothing of her only that she loves creating content for social media. nothing else happened with her except her meeting that guy. Pelfi although cute they also didnt do much but react to either lutteo or simbar. Delfi's only arc was the fight with jazmin. It was pretty entertaining so points for them. But this is my point when theyre not revolving around luna they had great content.

The downfall of this season was the writers forgetting their other characters and just constantly repeating storylines with the main characters. And everyone else just reacting to them. All of season 3 was so predictable that my only joy was simbar lol They were the only ones not just reacting to lutteo. which is why they were a breath of fresh air. Individually, simon was just reacting to lutteo and ambar was just reacting to luna. But as simbar they had their own thing. They were trying to figure the other out with the new dynamic of ambar going full "rebel".

It was different and new and exciting. To see these characters tease each other and seeing the tension of wanting to be together but both being stubborn. Simon knowing damn well ambar was in a path of self destruction but still trying to find a way in. Ambar telling simon he needed to stop lying about his feelings for her. My only issue was when bembar became a thing. Those episodes were so messy that they actually made me less enthusiastic about simbar because i didnt get ambar, but i feel it was needed to make ambar finally snap out of it and officially leave that behind her. These past 15 episodes had ambar in her own arc as her best self not worrying about luna and thriving as a character because of that.

But of course i understand the show is called Soy Luna. I like luna. The first two seasons revolved around her being a happy girl with loving adoptive parents starting a new life away from home. She eventually gets curious about her origins and sets out to find out where she came from with the help of her best friends. While every other character did their own thing.

The problem came about when in s3 they didnt know what to do with their protagonist. The first 5 episodes were her feeling overwhelmed with finding out she's Sol Benson and remembering a bit of her past. But that's it after that shes okay. "She's the same luna except now she's rich." Thats the whole story. Oh and she has three love interests. Oh and shes gonna bring the jam&roller team together but no one gets to shine except her and all the opportunities will go to her only. They're gonna have rivals and theyre just gonna go back and forth forever without any consequences till episode 40. The open music will have cool singing and dancing numbers and they will serve no purpose but to fill in things in the episodes except episode 10 when luna will confess her feelings for simon but jk nevermind she doesnt. Nothing ever changes.

The main focus was her love life and honestly that could have worked if it wasnt the exact same formula as season 2 with matteo. The hot and cold relationship yes no yes no. Ugh i dont understand how lutteo fans have survived for so long. I wish they had given her something more to stand for. A different character arc that wasnt just about her and matteo. Because thats what the whole season has been about. Everyone else are just there getting 1 or 2 episode arcs that really don't matter because everything will go back to normal. Simbar was lucky to get a continuous arc however they only got one or two scenes per episode and that was the highlight. Soy luna comes to an end in two episodes. And this whole week has everything revolving around luna and matteo realizing their dreams in the last 5 episodes. Just them. Jk we still have two episodes and im sure theyll show the rest "realizing their dream too" but i just cant believe they made 60 episodes of nothing.

The adults took up a lot of screentime in a storyline that just sucks. The only thing sharon's been good for is to give luna nightmares. Again everything has only been a huge plot device for luna and things a lot of times felt forced.

Well all of this was my main issue with season 3 and i wanted to share my personal opinion. Im sorry this is so long. Season 3 had its great moments but as a whole was really disappointing. I hope no one takes offense to this and although im here complaining soy luna finishing is still bittersweet. You can love something but still recognize its flaws.

#my grievances #its sad that the characters were jus sidelined #wish s3 was better #the end is here #soy luna #soy luna 3 #simbar #anti luna #kind of:/

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richard-the-boy-wonder-blog · 7 years ago

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I was tagged by: @rebel-eds , thanks for giving me something to do B 💓

1. last drink?: Shitty imitation coffee.

2: last phone call?: my mommy.

3. last text message?: "okay mommy" you can only guess who i sent it to.

4. last song you listened to?: Best Friends by Grandson. (Its a banger beatbi suggest everyone give it a listen)

5. last time you cried?: Thusday night last week.

6. dated someone twice?: Yes, and i was mistaken both times.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: I kissed a guy who only kissed me to date my mom.

8. been cheated on?: Yeah actually, and the kicker was that it was an irl relationship between me and this person and they cheated on me with someone from across the country... So.

9. lost someone special?: Not really?

10. been depressed?: Oooooh boy.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: Story time! Ive been black out drunk, once. I invited my current bf over for some video games (we had been dating for like a month maybe) and i thought "boy imma get stupid and put the moved on him" drank 2 things of box wine to myself (1 box is equal to 4 glasses of wine lol) ended up getting sick really fast and left my bf to watch my younger 2 siblings while i threw up. Thats all i remember. (I think i also tried to shave my legs?)

Fave colors

12. Green (every single shade)

13. Black, like oil black so its not as dark.

14. Like a dusty brown yellow color.

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: I think so? I hope so cause theres alot of people on here i just recently met that im already considering my friends.

16. fallen out of love?: Yes... Honestly its the saddest feeling in the world.

17. laughed until you cried?: I did that last night over the fact i said i wanted to become a professional hotdog juicer.

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Yeah, im a snoopy bitch.

19. met someone who changed you?: Oh yes, some of them were for the better, but this one person im thinking in particular... I wish he would stop.

20. found out who your friends are?: Yeah actually, i moved and alot of the people i considered "friends" started talking crap, and alot of the people i just considered stuck up for me.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Does my mom count?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: Like a solid 80% of them, others are people i briefly met at cons or whatever.

23. do you have any pets?: I have 2 kitties! My sisters fat cat Juno and my demon Leia.

24. do you want to change your name?: Not really, i feel like ive got a pretty cool name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I cried and threw up on myself lol.

26. what time did you wake up today?: 8:46 am i remember because i wooe up amd the first thought i had was: "if i dont get up the carrots will attack."

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: Editing my fic and watching School of Rock.

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: I have a sad life thats going nowhere so i have nothing to look forward to.

30. what are you listening to right now?: California Dreamin' by The Mamas and Papas.

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: I worked for a guy named Tom. Tom was an asshat.

32. something getting on your nerves?: The fact that im not aloud to sing or dance around the hoyse anymore.

33. most visited website?: Tumblr lol.

34. hair color?: I had purple hair before i dyed it brown, so its kinda like orangy brown with a tint of pink.

35. long or short hair: This is a hard question because my hair is a mega floof. So it looks short but when i flat iron it its fairly long.

36. do you have a crush on someone?: Honestly.... I think so.

37. what do you like about yourself?: Im not a huge fan of my outsides (my appearance) but i love my insides. I think im hella funny, and goofy but i know im not very pleasant to look at. But thats okay ☺

38. want any piercings: I already have my snake bites and 2 holes in each ear, but im dying to have my bellybutton, eyebrow, and either my nipples or tongue done. (Maybe a double helix UGH i dont know)

39. blood type: i think im AB positive?

40. nicknames: Jae, JJ, Jada, Scoob, scooberndude, bug, beb, moose, little angry one, you.

41. relationship status: Taken.

42. zodiac: imma Capricorn.

43. pronouns: I mostly go by They/them, but im okay with her/she too.

44. fave tv show: Ive re-discovered 'Dan vs. Everything' and im in love.

45. tattoos: ive got 4, 1 on my left arm, 2 of my right. And one on the back of my neck (i should just face reveal and show them honestly i get asked about them so much)

46. right or left handed: left handed (imma diamond in the rouge)

47. ever had surgery: GOD NO.

48 . piercings: Yep like i said before. Ove got 6, my snake bites and 2 in each ear.

49. sport: I USE to play baseball amd hockey. (I was also on a roller derby team if that counts)

50. vacation: I haven't been on vacation since i was 8.

51. trainers: No.

more general

52. eating: I was told that you should drink water 20 minutes before eating, because dehydration can feel like hunger. I started doing that like a week ago and ive eaten maybe 4 times since 😂

53. drinking: Water 😎 (hydration is sexy, yall should go get some)

54. im about to watch: myself post this amd regret it.

55. waiting for: my mom to get home so i can come put of my room.

56. want: More records.

57. get married? After some consideration, probably not ever gonna happen.

58. career: i dunno yet, i just know i wanna go to film/art school!

59. hugs or kisses: keeses 😙

60. lips or eyes: The eyes.

61. shorter or taller: i dont really mind either, evidentally though its always tall because im short as fuck.

62. older or younger: Still doesnt really matter to me, as long as they aint a pedo.

63. nice arms or stomach: Arms, because i love being held.

64. hookup or relationship: a relationship where you pretend not to know each other and "hook up"

65. troublemaker or hesitant: im not really either? Like im not very shy, but im not so far out there that i get in trouble.

66. kissed a stranger: Thats how you get hepatitis.

67. drank hard liquor: Yes, i still would but i get hella nervous about it (im a stoner not a drinker eeeeh)

68. lost glasses: yep! Thats why i dont have them now.

69. turned someone down: Not really. No one has ever asked me out before :/

70. sex on the first date: im a hoe and proud, but this is a major no no.

71. broken someones heart: i think so... But they broke all of me first.

72. had your heart broken: Ive had alot more than just my heart broken.

73. been arrested: Yes i was arrested when i was 9.

74. cried when someone died: Ive been crying over David Bowie for 2 years now, yes.

75. fallen for a friend: This is the only way i can get into a relationship

do you believe in…

76. yourself: Yes! I can do the thing!

77. miracles: Sadly no, ive never had one happen for me.

78. love at first sight: Kinda? Like it starts out as "i wanna punch your face in" at first site, and THEN i fall in love.

79. santa clause: yes because my papa is santa.... I seen it.

80. kiss on a first date: i always barf if someone tries to kiss me on the first date. (Not because it grosses me out but because i got bad anxiety lol)

81. angels: Absolutly because all my friends are angels 💓

82. best friend’s name: I... I dont have one? (Does my twin count? Her name is Dawn)

83. eye color: Green!

84. fave movie: Probably Pretty in Pink.

85. fave actor: Lesie motherfucking Jones! This girl is amazing, she went to an art school in Colorado for a basketball scholarship and ended up in theater and on SNL instead. I aspire to be cool enough to earn my way onto SNL.

I should tag some peepes: @trashmouthmissy @spaghetti-head-eds , @thegreatwhiteferret , @beepbeepbongoboyy , and anyone else who wants to do this can and tag me saying i tagged you 😎

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halftale-askcomic · 8 years ago

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GASTER'S LOG 6

The human was standing in front of me... in the last corridor they will walk before facing Asgore... they looked a little scared... guess the lighting here does make me look tougher... Gaster: “Human... in a moment you will face the king of monster... but not now... right here you will be judged for your actions... everyone you killed... everyone you spared... all your actions have lead you to this point... you never wanted to harm. You chose violence only when you had no other choice or when you thought you had no other choice... I want you to take a second and think... Could you have done this better?” They looked down for a while... listened to birds... or smelled flowers as we stood there... Gaster: “well... it doesnt matter if you could’ve done this better... what matters is were you honest with yourself... Now... you will face with the king... he wont be easy to tire out... and this time... sparing wont be an option. The fight can take long but... you are very patient arent you?” A faint smile appeared on their face... their eyes brightened... it was probably the only compliment they got for a long time... Gaster: “lets hope you wont suffer for long...” Level 2... there was no way they were going to make it through... ... 1 day later ... I was waiting outside the hospital room to question the skeleton. They have been awake for an hour or two by now. The nurse got out and told me I could come in. ???: “G-Gaster? Ugh...My head is killing me... w... what happened? They said not to touch my head for some reason but... whats that look supposed to be?” Gaster: “who are you?” ???: “I am River, worked with you for ... I cant remember how long but dont worry, my memories are still intact. Its... its nice to see you havent blown yourself up while I was resting...” Gaster: “....” River: “why do I feel like something is wrong? You have that puzzled and angery look on your face... Gaster what happened?” They were... worried? But... why would they be... River: “Gaster... tell me... do you... do you know me?” Gaster: “I... I dont... I’m sorry...” River: “So... I was right... no one here recognized me and when I mentioned you they said they thought you were working alone... that means... how?” Gaster: “That explains how you could complete the machine... because you worked with me... the readings said the teleporter started before overheating so instead of destroying you here and re-creating you on the other end it wiped you out of history.” River: “what... you... are you actually enjoying this...” Gaster: “kind of. I mean this discovery is phenomenal. Imagine the posibilities! If we can find a way to use this properly we can un-exist the barrier. This is... this is really good.” When I looked over River she looked... disgusted... River: “H-how could you be so... careless? I... I almost died.... can't feel my lower body and... and all you think about is the barrier? .........I..... I dont get it....” Gaster: “River, look, I can get rid of the barrier isnt that remarkable. I should’ve started building that damn teleporter ag-” River: “Get. Out.” They looked... furious... and sad... Gaster: “S-sorry Ri-” River: “I said GET OUT!” I heard their voice crack as I was opening the door. River: “...and don’t comeback.”

#Poor River...#Gaster's log #Gaster #River

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missjugheadjones · 8 years ago

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Accidents Cause Accidents Pt 2

Word Count: 3234

A/N: so I am making this into a series, even though I have two other series going on but whatever lmao. I hope you enjoy the second part to Accidents cause Accidents, I made this part somewhat low-key but next one is going to be crazy. If you think I should make this a separate book let me know, and also just give me all around feedback! Much love! ️

MasterList

Y/Ns eyes fluttered open, her head pounding and making it hard to even think. She looked around and saw the beanie boy sitting in the chair next to her hospital bed. He seemed to be asleep, but he had a laptop open in his lap. Slowly, she tried to sit up, her head feeling light and the room spinning, but she was determined.

"Ugh." she groaned, waking the beanie boy from his sleep.

"Y/N, what are you doing? Lay back down!" he said, quickly placing his laptop on the chair next to him and rushing over to her side.

"No, I want to sit up. Laying here makes me feel vulnerable." she complained.

"That doesn't matter, you aren't. But you're going to hurt yourself even more if you sit up." he said sternly, trying to direct her back down into a laying down position.

"Listen here Beanie, just because we are apparently together doesn't mean I need you to tell me what I need to do. I am my own independent person and I can take care of myself." she shot in pure frustration and vulnerability. He slowly backed up, a look of hurt crossing his face.

"Sorry..." he mumbled, staring down at the ground. Y/N softened up as she watched him sit back down and start to type on his laptop, and she felt her chest hurt.

"You don't need to be sorry, I was a bitch. I don't mean to be, okay? I'm just terrified because I don't know whats going on or who I am or where I am... I'm scared." she said, watching the beanie boy. He continued to type on his laptop and he swallowed hard, his face still conveyed hurt.

"I shouldn't of snapped at you! You're the only person who has been here constantly and I appreciate it. As of the moment, you're the only one who makes me feel anything, and that scares me a little bit too. It feels good though, my heart stops beating for a second when you say my name, and when you're near it speeds up. I don't know what I'm feeling, you tell me its love but I don't even remember what that is or what its supposed to feel like... all I know is that when I look at you, it feels like I know you, and I know who I am and where I am. I feel... safe." she whispered the last part and started messing with her hands, scared to look at the raven haired boy sitting in a seat across the room. Just then she felt hands on her face and lips on hers, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling which was gone way too soon.

"I love you." he said and she smiled up at him.

"I... I love you too Beanie Boy." he chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"I have a name you know, baby girl." he teased and she giggled.

"I know, Jughead Jones the Third, I have one too. Y/N...." she trailed off, trying to remember her last name. she furrowed her eyes in concentration.

"Y/L/N. My beautiful girlfriends beautiful name is Y/N Y/L/N." he reminded her, and she nodded her head.

"Y/N Y/L/N." she whispered to herself.

"You should of had that memorized before you had mine down." he teased, and she shrugged.

"Your name was more important to me to learn than my own I guess." she said and he smiled.

"Miss Y/L/N, how are you feeling?" Dr. Smith asked, walking into the room. Y/N tensed up, and Jughead noticed, giving her a worried look.

"I'm tired, and I want to get out of this stupid bed." she grumbled.

"I understand. Do you think you're well enough to talk to Sheriff Keller?" he asked. She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her hands.

"I guess." she mumbled.

"Maybe we should let her rest for a little while longer, she's been having a tough time, or at least let her go for a walk." Jughead suggested, and Y/N looked gratefully up at him.

"I don't think that's much of a good idea. Its a miracle she is only suffering from amnesia, a concussion and a few broken ribs from her fall, I would hate to see her fall and hurt herself even more." Dr. Smith said. "I think it would be better if she stayed here and talked to the sheriff, see if she can remember anything. I don't know if you remember, but you woke up last night yelling about that day. We had nurses come in to help you and you started to explain things that happened when you fell off the balcony-"

"I didn't fall, asshat. I was thrown off." she growled and Dr. Smith jotted something down.

"Right, thrown."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? She was thrown, we have witnesses that said it themselves too."

"Son, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, you seem to be upsetting my patient and she's already having a tough time as it is." Dr. Smith said, looking up from his clipboard.

"He isn't the one upsetting me!" Y/N cried, holding onto Jugheads arm.

"I refuse to leave, she needs me." Jughead said. Dr. Smith placed the clipboard on Y/Ns end table and walked towards the beanie clad boy.

"I really don't want to have to call security on you. I understand that you want to be here for her, but right now she has things that she needs to do. You can come backtomorrow at opening visiting hour." he calmly said, and Jugheads face fell.

"Why tomorrow, its only 10 in the morning now!" he said, and Y/N held onto him tighter.

"She has a long day ahead of her and you are making her quite rebellious. She doesnt need that right now, she has just lost her memory and doesnt realize how much danger she is in. The last thing i need is one of our star witnesses disappearing, or even worse trying to and getting killed in the process. Now i am not going to ask you again, leave or else i'll have to call an escort to remove you from the area." Dr. Smith shot, and Jughead reluctantly nodded his head. He turned to face Y/N and leaned down, kissing her. Y/N felt tears stinging at her eyes and fear settling in her stomach and she watched as anger and sadness washed over Jugheads face.

"Don't go!" Y/N called as Jughead backed up, turning towards the door.

"Have a good day, Mr. Jones." Dr. Smith said as he passed.

"You too.'' Jughead gritted through his teeth

---

Knock

Jughead opened his eyes slowly, staring off into the darkness. He could of sworn he heard something downstairs, but it stopped so he wasn't really worried.

Knock

Okay, he couldn't of imagined that, there was definitely someone at the door downstairs, but who the hell could it be. He slowly got up off his mattress on the ground and stood, stretching. He quietly opened the door, and crept downstairs, looking out of the peephole.

"Oh my god!" he yelled, quickly unlocking the door and swinging it open.

"Hey there Beanie Boy." Y/N smiled, and Jughead pulled her into the house.

"What the hell are you doing here!" Jughead exclaimed, and Y/Ns face fell.

"I hated that place, so I came here." she said bluntly. Jughead placed a hand over her forehead and pulled it back quickly.

"You're hot!" he said, running his hand through his hair, trying to think of something that would help.

"You're not so bad yourself." Y/N said cheekily, and Jughead rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"No I mean you're burning up! How'd you even know I was here?" he asked, rushing off towards the medicine cabinet to grab some ibuprofen.

"Its just a little fever Beanie, I'll be fine. And I'm not quite sure how I found you, I just kind of walked and ended up at this door." she said shrugging, following him. He rummaged around the medicine cabinet, looking at bottle after bottle.

"And you decided to knock?" he asked worriedly. "You could have ended up at the wrong persons house and then you would have gotten hurt. What if there is still people out there after you? You aren't exactly liked by the serpents at the moment, and night time is when they go out and cause problems. What if they had found you? You would have been killed on the spot!"

"Okay! Okay! I get it! I'm sorry, I just figured that you'd be willing to help me. I hated it in there, I'm a sitting duck!' she yelled, and Fred and Archie ran into the kitchen.

"Y/N? What... why are you here?" Fred asked, walking up to the girl, but she slowly backed away.

"Don't worry, that's my dad." Archie said, pushing past his dad and slowly walking up to Y/N. "Can I... can I give you a hug?" Archie asked quietly, and Y/N slowly nodded her head.

"Well, you don't make me feel scared so sure." she said, and Archie wrapped his arms around her.

"I was so worried about you!" he said, and Y/N wrapped her arms around him as well.

"I'm sorry." she whispered and Archie pulled back.

"Don't be sorry, its not your fault. You did a good thing and the town is really appreciating of your sacrifice. I'm the one who should be sorry, I should have taken you straight to Sheriff Keller, if I did then maybe this wouldn't of happened." he said, hanging his head.

"I don't quite remember what happened or what I did, but I can assure you one thing, you are totally fine. You did nothing wrong, I'm sure you had important stuff to do." she said, grabbing Archies shoulder. He smiled up at her and nodded.

"Well if you ever need anything again, just tell me, okay?" Y/N nodded her head. "Do you remember anything about me?" he asked.

"No, not exactly. I don't remember much about anything, I'm not even sure how I knew to come here." she said.

"You come here all the time, you have ever since you were little." Fred said, and Y/N nodded her head. "Archie, Betty, Jughead and you were constantly here, playing outside, causing havoc throughout the house." Fred laughed to himself. "You four were quite the group, still are."

"Oh. And you are Archie?" she asked, looking towards the red headed boy.

"Yup, thats me. Archie Andrews." he said, a tinge of sadness in his voice, and Y/N caught on.

"Whats wrong?" she asked, leaning against the counter.

"You still know me so well." he teased. Jughead handed Y/N a few pills and a glass of water, and she took the medicine.

"Stop avoiding the questions Archie, just tell us whats wrong." he said, wrapping his arm around Y/Ns waist. She quickly tensed up and pulled away slightly, but relaxed after she realized it was Jughead.

"Its just weird, having to reintroduce myself to one of my oldest friends. Its kind of sad." he admitted, and Jughead slowly nodded his head.

"I know, its weird having to reintroduce myself to my girlfriend." he said, and Y/N felt tears sting at her eyes.

"I'm sorry." she whimpered, not handling her two friends looking so sad very well.

"Woah, its alright!" Archie said, pulling Y/N into another hug. "This isn't your fault, im sure you will remember soon enough." he said, trying to comfort the sad and confused girl. Archie released the girl and yawned. "I'm going to head back to bed. Goodnight guys." Archie waved and turned for his bedroom, exiting the room.

"You are welcome to stay here if you would like." Fred said, giving a small smile. "I'm going to head to bed too, now i already woke up once to a girl in my house, i dont want to wake up again to any strange wrestling, do you understand me?" Fred teased and Jughead rolled his eyes, giving a small smirk.

"What do you mean strange wrestling?" Y/N asked.

"Wow, your amnesia made you innocent did it?" Fred joked and Y/N rolled her eyes.

"No I'm just confused, thats all." she argued.

"No ruining your girlfriends innocence, is that understood? I want this to last as long as possible." Fred said, giving a small laugh.

"Yeah whatever." Jughead huffed, and Fred turned to go to bed. Y/N crossed her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes. "What?" He asked.

"No one ever tells me anything." she mumbled and Jughead laughed.

"How would you know?" he joked. "You forgot pretty much everything." Y/Ns jaw dropped and she glared at him.

"Oh my god." she said, turning for the door.

"Wait, I'm sorry, that was a bit insensitive, I didn't mean to offend you." he said, catching the girl in his arms and snuggling his head in the crook of her neck. She tensed up quickly but relaxed again. "You okay?" He asked, his hot breath tickling Y/Ns neck and making her stomach feel warm. She turned and Jughead stood straight, looking worryingly down at his girlfriend. She returned his stare and leaned up, pressing her lips to his.

"I'm just adjusting to having someone around and touching me." she said, pulling away slightly and looking into his blue eyes.

"Do you want me to stop being so handsy?" he asked quietly.

"Not a chance." she smirked, placing her hand at the back of his neck, pulling him back down. Their lips melded together, seeming to be perfect puzzle pieces. Jughead lifted Y/N up onto the counter and deepened the kiss. Y/Ns hands went from his neck to his chest, slowly inching their way down his abdomen and pulling him impossibly close. Jughead breathlessly and reluctantly pulled back, earning a whimper from her.

"If I keep this going, we're going to start that strange wrestling Fred was talking about, and we'll both be in trouble." he said, chuckling. Y/N looked down at him confused, and he laughed. "Don't worry about it." he said. Y/N jumped off the counter but right as her feet hit the ground she stumbled, suddenly feeling very dizzy. Jughead caught her quickly and pulled her into his chest.

"I'm sorry." she whispered and Jughead shook his head.

"Don't be, let's go lay down, maybe you'll be better in the morning." he said. Y/N stood up, trying her best to stand straight and walk but her head was pounding and she stumbled again. Jughead caught her and picked her up bridal style, making his way to the living room.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled and Jughead chuckled.

"You've got to stop saying that, you have no faults to be sorry for." he said, placing her on the couch.

"Yes I do, you shouldn't have to take care of me. I should be able to walk and do shit on my own but instead I'm here dizzy and confused." she rambled.

"I don't mind taking care of you baby girl, I'd much rather it was me looking after you than that asshole doctor." he said, earning a giggle from Y/N.

"You mean Doctor ShitHead Smith?" she said and Jughead laughed.

"Yeah, him."

"That's what I've been calling him in my head anytime he comes around." she explained, and he sat down beside her.

"Did he come in often?" Jughead asked.

"Well yeah, he was my doctor." she said, earning a chuckle from Jughead.

"I'm trying to be serious. What did he do when he came in?" He asked, and she shrugged.

"Just constantly asked how much I remembered. He got really mad one time because I answered with 'Well most of what I remember is a jackass doctor asking me the same question every three seconds.'"

"Wow, I love you so damn much." Jughead said, laughing.

"Well I love you too. I don't know what I'd do without you, Beanie. You've helped me so much during this, thank you." she said, and pulled her into him.

"You shouldn't be thanking me, I can't help but feel like this is my fault." he mumbled, intertwining his fingers with hers.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Jugheads gaze went to their hands, and he felt his words catch in his throat.

"I couldn't protect you. I pushed you into a closet at the first sign of danger and I stood in front of you, ready to make sure nothing was to happen to you. I wasn't scared, I was ready to do whatever it took to make sure no one would hurt you, but I failed. He threw me aside like it was nothing, knocking me out cold for a good 5 minutes and he threw you over the edge. If only I could have..." Jugheads voice cracked and he choked back the tears that were threatening to spill. Y/Ns heart broke at the sight of him like this, and she lifted his jaw so he'd look at her.

"You tried to protect me Juggie, which is more than anyone else can say. Thank you for that." she whispered, smiling sweetly and hoping for a smile in return. But instead he shook his head.

"Exactly, I tried and I failed. I failed at convincing my mom and sister to stay, I failed at getting my dad on track... they-I just fail at helping those I love the most." he said, his head falling back onto the couch.

"That's not true. Look I don't remember what's going on with your dad, or why your sister and mother are gone, but there's one thing I do know;

you have not failed me Jughead. You were knocked unconscious, there was nothing you could do. It's not your fault that you got thrown, you tried to protect me and for that I am forever grateful. And not only that, but you stayed at the hospital watching over me to make sure nothing else happened. You have been so kind and patient and you've helped me so much... you are the farthest thing from a failure in my eyes." This time when she smiled, Jughead smiled back. She pecked him on the cheek and leaned down, resting her head on his chest.

"Thank you." he whispered, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"And thank you. I love you." Y/N murmured, sleep slowly washing over her body.

"And I love you." Jughead felt as sleep took the beautiful (Y/H/C) haired girl laying on him and he cherished this moment. He knew for sure that in the morning the police and hospital were going to be pissed that she was here, but he didn't want to worry about that. All he wanted to do was spend some quality time with the one person in his life who had never betrayed him, promising to himself that this time if danger would show its ugly face again, which it most undoubtedly would, he'd do whatever it took to protect her.

Tag List:

@do-not-call-me-sunshine @gelattoes @xbobaaa@katshrev@farmfreshcoldsprouts@sgarrett49@always-chocolate@nadya0128@spooky-brendons-butt @rainbows-and-glitter-bitch

#jughead jones x reader #jughead x reader #jughead jones #fanfiction #archie andrews #fred andrews #cw riverdale #missjugheadjones

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technoskates · 8 years ago

Text

and she had the audacity of telling me she could pack for me

i straight up told her no i dont want her touching my stuff

cuz i will never find it again

im upset

she really honestly doesnt care about anything i ever say it seems like

she wont remember what i say unless its important to her

this seems so little from the outside im sure but its just like

i honestly cant tell you if she even likes me

i think the only reason shes excited that im moving is becasue

i will finally be away from her

i cant .....really tell you if thats accurate or not

but that looming thought that that is true takes over

and i cant really believe that she even cares

because of all the things shes said to me at least since i hit puberty

my feelings dont matter ever i should know that

i just need to not have feelings i shouldnt like anything because it will all just get thrown out because no one bothers to fucking ask me

i mentioned it SEVERAL TIMES

MANY TIMES

like just fucking throw me out too why dont you

cuz i know i dont matter

i feel dumb that im so upset over this

but she literally didnt even say sorry she never does

just OH i didnt knoOW

like fuck i told you once twice many times how many times do i have to say it

JUST BECAUSE IM NOT HERE DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN JUST TOSS MY SHIT

it was technically my sisters but i mean she could have ASKED if she didnt know

like fuck you

-sits here and covers my ears-

didnt you noooootiiiceeee

when do i go into my sisters room?

ive been so stressed since i got back

how am i supposed to notice?

granted i do usually notice things that are different but i knew there would be furniture missing and i didnt realize thee cactus was compltely gone i thought it was just moved

i hate how im told i can have things then people are like

no sorry i threw that away/ no i never said that

like .....fine lie to me

everyone does ugh;;;

i have too much stress

#negative//////////

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broukuto · 8 years ago

Text

i wanna talk about trans girl oikawa

(putting under read more because this is a Lot. i’m using she/her pronouns for oikawa. and also warnings for like generalized angst, mentions and light descriptions of anxiety, depression, dysphoria. this is loosely inspired by my own trans experience)

so oikawa probably didn’t have the Word For It growing up and in adolescence but definitely knew that she was meant to be something different. she couldn’t quite figure out what or why.

volleyball proved to be a great distraction because all that mattered was that she was good, if not great. a great volleyball player, full stop. however she pushes herself too hard to be perfect at this, that she ends up hurting her knee during her second year.

in high school, despite being the most adored and chased after by girls of her peers, oikawa began developing more feminine traits; manners of speech, quirks, even things seen as “girly” like hair and skincare. which to oikawa, was extremely important - still, 17 and not quite found the Word for what she was feeling, knew that it was important for her to be able to control at least this aspect of their physical appearance.

it’s not that she ever really hated her body - it served a function, to play volleyball well. but she didn’t love it. it was very easy for her to dissociate and compartmentalize that aspect of herself as to sort of make up for the generalized unease and underlying dysphoria she was always feeling.

things didn’t really click until she got her first girlfriend, who was expecting a boyfriend from oikawa. it wasn’t that she wasnt attracted to her, but she always found herself being more jealous of her, than anything. she was the first girl oikawa really knew and could get to be around up close and often - and that’s when it all clicked. oikawa wanted to be her, or at least, just like her.

oikawa realized the feelings she always had, was because she wanted be a girl, deep down. and things felt right, as if a thousand questions had been answered. but still, it didn’t quite make the “apartness” oikawa felt from hajime and the team that she’d always felt. though they were always friends and oikawa did her best to be a great captain, she didn’t always feel like one of them.

she didn’t know how to relate to the “guy things” they’d talk about, though oikawa was still physically male. and now knowing that she was transgender, only furthered the divide.

hajime had been her best friend since infancy. they shared everything together since before they could remember. so it was an easy decision to want to tell him. one afternoon, hajime comes over and finds oikawa wearing lipstick. he laughs and tells her she looks dumb (of course he thinks this is just his Guy Friend messing around and doesn’t Know, please don’t hate him). Oikawa, testing the waters, teases and asks if hajime doesn’t think they would make a pretty girl. Hajime scrunches his face and says “Ew of couse not.” Something in Oikawa breaks, she goes to the bathroom to scrub off the lipstick, and they never talk about it again. Hajime doesn’t know, or else he wouldn’t have made fun - that’s what she tells herself, but it doesn’t make it easier to want to now.

the years pass. they graduate high school, they go to different colleges. oikawa passes the time with classes and volleyball. the easiest and time-tested distraction from The Gender Problem. however in her senior year, she decides to retire early. the knee problem from high school is flaring up again and if she’d like to live a life without irreparable damage, she’s advised to stop.

it hurts because volleyball has given her years of joy since middle school. and now only does she have to figure out who she is outside of this Amazing player, now she can’t ignore The Gender Problem. it’s one thing to flirt and be ~feminine and pay the part of everyone’s gay best friend - but that’s not who she is. she doesn’t want to be the flamboyant gay friend.

depression and anxiety began to settle in as a result of the gender dysphoria. and guilt. how could she do this to her parents? her family? her friends? they all had expectations for oikawa that did not include this. could it be easier to just accept being Male for the family? was one person’s happiness more important than her own? there was always a clear cut and defined vision of who oikawa was, as presented to the outside world, that greately overshadowed who oikawa wanted to be. how could she just flip the script like that and make people learn a whole new person? was it worth it?

these are questions that oikawa obsessed over

oikawa and hajime grew apart during their last year of college. hajime still played volleyball and oikawa effectively fell off the social map. they emailed sometimes and texted occasionally, but it wasn’t close to how it was. hajime begins to get worried about his best friend. the person that used to text him 17 times in a row within two hours barely responds to his texts after 2 days.

it’s a little after their university graduation that hajime is able to go visit oikawa because he can sense that something isn’t right. when they talk on the phone, oikawa sounds resigned, tired, and really just sad. though she insists that nothing is wrong. and when hajime presses, she gets mad - rather than deflective as usual - and ends the conversation. hajime has known oikawa for too long not to know that something serious is going on.

when they see each other again, it’s been almost a year since they’ve last been in person together. oikawa is thinner, bags under the eyes from insomnia, hair longer. hajime simply asks what’s wrong, and it’s enough for oikawa to break and have a full blown anxiety attack that scares hajime to death. when he’s calmed her down enough, oikawa sleeps for almost a full day. hajime stays the whole time.

they’re laying in bed, like when they used to have sleepovers in middle school. when oikawa wakes up, hajime is there. he doesn’t ask again what’s wrong. oikawa says, “iwa-chan, i’m a girl...i’m not....i don’t feel...i’m supposed to be a girl.”

hajime is in shock, but tries not to let it show. he simply rests a hand on oikawa’s neck, a sign of comfort. “Shitty-kawa, why didn’t you tell me?”

oikawa tells him about the day with the lipstick. hajime barely remembers, but oikawa can remember every detail - down to how many clouds were in the sky, what food her mother left on the stove, and how many seconds it took to scrub the lipstick off. 87.

she tells him that she knew he didn’t really mean anything bad by it, and that if he knew, he wouldn’t, or at least hoped, that he wouldn’t have made a joke like that. but oikawa had spent the years being around boys. she’d heard all the jokes, all the “locker room talk”. and it scared her to death. she couldn’t live with the idea of her favorite person thinking of her as a joke, or worse something bad or depraved, and not wanting to be friends anymore. so she kept it a secret, for him, for their team, for their families.

what oikawa doesnt expect from hajime then, is to cry. at first she thinks he’s crying out of anger or disappointment, as she’d always feared. but then hajime pulls her into his chest and apologizes. “i’m so sorry you had to deal with this on your own for so long. i’m so sorry you thought i’d hate you.”

hajime then says he thought oikawa was just really really gay and was fine with that too, but admits that this does make more sense. he remembers all the times oikawa would scoff at hajime, or the other team members doing something Manly and Stupid like “ugh, Men.”

after that it becomes easier. hajime and oikawa become roommates in a new city. over the first few months, oikawa begins using a new name, dressing as a girl more and more - starting with around the house, little trips to the store, and gradually more and more until she’s permanently comfortable being a girl in public for the world to see. her hair has grown long, and hajime absolutely eats his words when he stupidly said that she would make an ugly girl. oikawa smugly declares that no one can be as perfect as she - a gorgeous specimen in all genders.

oikawa doesn’t begin hormone therapy until after she comes out to her family. she doesn’t want to feel like she’s keeping secrets any longer. it’s hard for her family, at first, as expected. not exactly opposed or against, just shocked is all. her father says that he just began to accept her as an effiminate gay man, but her impressive sports career made up for it. He and oikawa’s mother are from a different generation and these things are still new and they don’t quite understand, but oikawa is still their child.

shock is what oikawa expected. disownment is what he assumed - though his family says they could never. the fact of it is, oikawa still lives in a culture where being transgender is still a work in progress. but his family, parents, his sister, and nephew, all agree to try and get to know the new oikawa, and its the best she can hope for for now.

at 25, it’s hard to know when oikawa and hajime begin dating, but it seems they always had been. not just recently, but since they were kids. they’ve always loved each other, only now it means something more. one thing oikawa was always afraid of, when even thinking about pursuing her feelings with hajime, was that hajime would still view her body as male. but they work at that too, trust, relearning, time, all of it. it all works out in the end.

(also i was thinking high key abt oikawa becoming a model but wasn’t sure how to fit this in the au, alas

the end

#oikawa tooru #haikyuu!!#i feel like i dont Like a lot of trans headcanons and fic written by cis people #so i wanted to detail a Relateable Experience #because sometimes being trans is a journey that takes YEARS #and isnt so easy as to have all the resources to begin transition immediately at 15 and everything is great #theres a lot left out like dysphoria and depression and guilt that a lot of trans people who arent out face #especially when they dont realize WHY they've always felt this way until they're like an Adult u know #anyways

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stacksonstacksonstacksgirl · 8 years ago

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When The Sun Met The Moon

A/N: Okay so its been a little while since I’ve written anything and I’ve written this with no expectations other than to quench my writing thirst for a bit. I hope this piece brings people some joy because its something I’ve kind of wanted to write for some time! I know its not much but I’m debating whether or not I want to expand on it or not. Please let me know if you like it! Thank you in advanced! Oh and shout out to @chrissy22787 for giving me the little nudge I needed in making the decision to write again =)

***************************

If I had to hear that song one more time, I was going to lose my sanity and I was going to kill everyone in the house. I understand liking a song or even LOVING a song but she literally turned the song on and left it on repeat FOR HOURS!

I could feel my blood boiling...

“Olivia Marie Wentworth if you dont turn off that song I will confiscate your electronics for half a year and you will not go to that concert tonight! DO YOU HEAR ME? Change the blasted song or turn it off!”

Note to self: remember to thank mom later for that

“Harmony make sure you dress warmly! I don’t need you or your sister to get sick at that concert! Neither of you are skipping class tomorrow!”

Note to self: remember to go off on mom later for making me go to this concert

“Mom honestly I dont understand why I have to go with Liv to see these guys. They’re really not my type and Im really too old to be going to these things!”

“Harmony honey you’re 22 years old not 40! And besides what’s wrong with One Direction now? You used to love them before!”

Ugh I should’ve known she was going to use that against me at some point.

“Mom, no, I know what you’re thinking, but honestly I’ve just grown out of them! It also doesn’t help that they just got off a two year break. I just, I dunno, do I have to go?”

“Yes babe, I have to work tonight and this is all Liv wanted for Christmas but I cannot go with her. Please, just be a trooper and do this for me?”

And there it was, the only reason I did a lot of this ridiculous stuff nowadays, my mom. She’s done great with Olivia and I as a single mom but now that we’re older she can take more hours at work and we can pretty much care for ourselves. Unless SOMEONE wants to go to their first One Direction concert while mom has to work, and then it becomes a team thing.

“Alright, fine, but I’m doing this for you! If it were up to me Olivia wouldn’t get to see those boys prancing on stage! It’s not healthy for her young mind to ogle boys that much older than her anyway!”

With a wink and a smirk my mom walked out the door for work and I got ready for what I assumed would be one of the longest nights of my life.

*******************************

After a long and very talkative drive to the arena we had arrived

“Do you think they’ll sing What A Feeling?!”

“Yes Liv, I think they will...”

“Do you think they’ll sing Wolves?!”

“Probably Liv...”

“DO YOU THINK THEY’LL SING OLIVIA?!”

“Oh my goodness Olivia! I will personally tweet One Direction and ask them to sing whatever you want if you stop asking me questions! Honestly they didn’t tour the last CD they made so it’s almost guaranteed that they will perform most of the songs from it on this tour. Okay?”

It was really my fault that this 9 year old girl was a boyband monster. I used to be so into these guys so much so that when mom found out she was pregnant I told her that we had to name the baby Olivia if it was a girl.

One Direction were my first loves and then I just slowly stopped listening to them and then they went on their hiatus and I was positive they were done forever. They ended up coming back but I didnt come back to the fandom and then my little sister joined it. The rest is history and now we’re here, standing outside in the cold waiting for the arena to open up so we could get to our nosebleed seats to watch these superstars perform for a few hours before going home. I couldnt be more miserable.

“Harmony? Harmony!”

“Huh? What?”

“The tweet... you said you would tweet them if I stopped asking...”

“Oh right, hold on.”

@onedirection My 9 year old sister is standing in this cold weather waiting for this arena to open and all she wants more than anything is to hear you sing Olivia especially for her, Olivia.

@onedirection please make a pretty little girls dreams come true xoxo

“Let me see! Did they read it?”

“I dont know silly! They havent said anything but I’ll let you know if they do. Deal?”

As soon as I said that I heard a ping from my phone. No way, it couldn’t be... it was!

@HarmoniousWentworth Wow your sister sounds lovely! Sorry you guys are havin to stand about in the cold waitin for us though! How about a meet up by the buses and backstage seats so you can stay warm?

Wait.... what?! This never happens. I am not this lucky of a person. This is AMAZING, well, for my sister of course, not me... I could care less! I should probably reply...

@onedirection sounds great but how will we get to the buses if they’re all gated off?

@HarmoniousWentworth you leave that to me love, just meet me by the gates.

Me? It said me? As in singular? I wonder which one of them is on the group twitter. It doesnt matter anyway, just as long as Olivia gets an awesome experience and I can get out of the freezing cold.

“Hey Olives I have a surprise for you!”

**********************

“Harmony we’re going to lose our spot in line! Where are we going?! We better not be leaving! I’ll tell mom, I’m not kidding!”

“Olivia we’re not leaving! We’re meeting the boys!”

“Now I know we’re leaving! Come on lets get back in line!”

“No Liv its true! One of them read my tweet and wants to meet you!”

Just then a voice came from near the gate

“Well I was really wantin’ to meet the both of yeh...” he spoke with a kind Irish accent and a wide smile on his face.

“OH. MY. GOD. HARMONY.... IT-I-ITS...”

“Niall Horan...” I finished

And just like that I fell into the fandom again

#one direction #Niall Horan #Niall #one d #niall fluff

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jeonclouds · 7 years ago

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2018 books / February

2018 Brooks / February.

February books. January 20, 2018 | Tessa MM. (08/48)

Keeping track of my 4 books of the month…

1. Alice’s adventures in wonderland

2. The stranger - Albert Camus

3. Los 4 Acuerdos.

4. Chicken soup for the teenage soul.

Alice’s adventures in wonderland (005):

“Down, down, down, how far have i fallen now?”

“Oh, why did i cry so much?”

“Never get angry” ((thats a bad advice caterpillar)).

The Stranger (006):

“I may not have been sure about what really did interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn’t.”

“I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”

“Since we’re all going to die, it’s obvious that when and how don’t matter.”

“Have you no hope at all? And do you really live with the thought that when you die, you die, and nothing remains?“ "Yes,” I said.”

“And it was like knocking four quick times on the door of unhappiness.”

PS: i remember i hated this book because i saw myself within Mersault, he is really, uh how you say it in english? Huraño, distant? aloof? he is portrayed as someone detached and emotionless, just the same way as i portray myself to the world and ppl around me. He is very impassive and he doesn’t really think about events or consequences and i was like ‘okay same!’, i think thats bad, he feels content with his indifference over the world, maybe bc he is protecting himself from pain (like me). He is so casual and indifferent over life events, i was pissed when Marie (his gf) asked if he wanted to marry her and he said he didnt cared lmao, that he would do it if she wanted to, and i was like bitch tf!!?? but at the same time i was like 'okay…me’ It made me reflect on myself and how i react when he killed the arab and he didnt showed any signs of guilt or remorse, there i was like 'okay thats not me’. His behavior is so distant and unresponsive, and he literally sees life and the people around him with despair, he appears to be so apathetic, its, its fucking annoying and amazing and it honestly makes me think about myself and how i make the world see me, its, ugh. It was a good book but i did not liked the fact that i could see so much of myself in the main character, a few moments ago when i was pondering about this i started to really think that…i, don’t want to be seen like that, and its scary to know that people could actually see me being that way, behaving that way, responding that way, because i know that i have done it, and now i dont like it anymore, as much as i want people to see me as someone 'mysterious’ i dont want them to see me as someone who doesnt care about her surroundings damn this book, it was a good book though, annoying as fuck, and it bored me and pissed me off, but its still a good book, i will carry with me the lesson i have learned from it, so, thanks joonie for the recommendation.

Los 4 Acuerdos (007):

“Estoy hecho de luz, estoy hecho de estrellas”

“Lo que realmente somos es puro amor, pura luz”

“Tu no escogiste tu lengua, ni tu religion, ni tus valores morales: ya estaban ahi antes de que nacieras. Nunca tuvimos la oportunidad de elegir que creer y que no creer. Nunca escogimos ni el mas insignificante de estos acuerdos. Nisiquiera elegimos nuestro propio nombre.”

'El 95% de las creencias que almacenamos en nuestra mente, no son mas que mentiras, y si sufrimos es porque creemos en todas ellas’

'En el sueño del planeta, a los seres humanos les resulta normal sufrir, vivir con miedo y crear dramas emocionales. El sueño externo no es un sueño placentero; es un sueño lleno de violencia, de miedo, de guerra, de injusticia.’

'El sueño personal de los seres humanos varía, pero en conjunto es una pesadilla. Si observamos la sociedad humana, comprobamos que es un lugar en el que resulta muy difícil vivir, porque está gobernado por el miedo.’

’ En el mundo entero, vemos sufrimiento, cólera, venganza, adicciones, violencia en las calles y una tremenda injusticia. Esto existe en diferentes niveles en los distintos países del mundo, pero el miedo controla el sueño externo.’

'No es la muerte; nuestro mayor miedo es arriesgarnos a vivir: correr el riesgo de estar vivos y de expresar lo que realmente somos.’

'Los seres humanos nos castigamos a nosotros mismos sin cesar por no ser como creemos que deberíamos ser. Nos maltratamos a nosotros mismos y utilizamos a otras personas para que nos maltraten.’

“Acuerdo 1 - Se impecable con tus palabras: Las palabras captan nuestra atención, entran en nuestra mente y cambian por entero, para bien o para mal, nuestras creencias. ”

“El mayor pecado que cometes es rechazarte a ti mismo.”

“La cantidad de amor que sientes por ti es directamente proporcional a la calidad e integridad de tus palabras. Cuando eres impecable con tus palabras, te sientes bien, eres feliz y estás en paz.”

“Sé impecable con tus palabras. Este es el primer acuerdo al que debes llegar si quieres ser libre, ser feliz y trascender el nivel de existencia del infierno. Es muy poderoso. Utiliza tus palabras apropiadamente. Empléalas para compartir tu amor”

'Usa la magia blanca empezando por ti. Dite a ti mismo que eres una persona maravillosa, fantástica. Dite cuánto te amas. Utiliza las palabras para romper todos esos pequeños acuerdos que te hacen sufrir.’

Acuerdo 2 - No te tomes nada personalmente: Cuando nos tomamos personalmente lo que alguien nos dice, suponemos que sabe lo que hay en nuestro mundo e intentamos imponérselo por encima del suyo.

'Si eres veraz contigo mismo, te ahorrarás mucho dolor emocional.

Acuerdo 3 - No hacer suposiciones. La manera de evitar suposiciones es preguntar.

Acuerdo 4 - Haz siempre lo maximo que puedas. Si haces lo maximo que puedas viviras con gran intensidad. Vivir con plenitud. No necesitamos saber ni probar nada. Ser, arriesgarnos a vivir y disfrutar de nuestra vida, es lo unico que importa.

'Si eres impecable con tus palabras, no te tomas nada personalmente, no haces suposiciones y siempre haces lo maximo que puedas tu vida sera maravillosa y la controlaras al 100x100’

'Si te caes no te juzgues’

'El perdon es la unica manera de sanarnos’

'Quiero que utilices tu imaginacion y la percepcion de tus nuevos ojos para verte a ti mismo viviendo un nuevo sueño, una vida en la que no sea necesario que justifiques tu existencia y en la que seas libre para ser quien realmente eres. Imagina que tienes permiso para ser feliz y para disfrutar de verdad tu vida. Imaginate que vives libre de conflictos contigo mismo y con los demas. Imaginate que no tienes miedo de expresar tus sueños. Sabes que quieres, cuando lo quieres y porque no quieres. Tienes libertad de cambiar tu vida y hacer lo que sea como tu quieras. No temes pedir lo que necesitas, decir que si o que no a quien sea o a lo que sea. Imagina que vives sin miedo a ser juzgado por los demas, Ya no te dejas llevar por lo que otras personas puedan pensar de ti. Ya no eres responsable de la opinión de nadie. No sientes la necesidad de controlar a nadie y nadie te controla a ti. Imagínate que vives sin juzgar a los demás, que los perdonas con facilidad y te desprendes de todos los juicios que sueles hacer. No sientes la necesidad de tener razón ni de decirle a nadie que está equivocado. Te respetas a ti mismo y a los demás, y ellos te respetan a ti. Imagínate que vives sin el miedo de amar y no ser correspondido. Ya no temes que te rechacen y no sientes la necesidad de que te acepten. Puedes decir: “Te quiero”, sin sentir vergüenza y sin justificarte. Imagínate que te amas a ti mismo tal como eres. Que amas tu cuerpo y tus emociones tal como son. Sabes que eres perfecto tal como eres.’

'Puedes andar por el mundo con el corazón completamente abierto y sin el temor de que te puedan herir. Imagínate que vives sin miedo a arriesgarte y a explorar la vida. No temes perder nada. No tienes miedo de estar vivo en el mundo y tampoco de morir. ’

Chicken soup for teenage the soul (008):

The love we give and recieve is all that matters, and all that is remembered, suffering dissapears, love remains. “Have i told you yet today that i love you?”

“We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir.

Think of the people in your life, ate there any words you’d like to say? Are there any hugs you want to share? Are you waiting and hoping someone else will ask first? Please dont wait! Initiate! - Charles Faraone.

I have learned never to underestimate the healing power we all have. It is always there to be uded for the highest good. We just have to remember to use it.

"What i am is good enough if i would only be it openly” - Carl Rogers.

“I own me and therefore i can engineer me. I am me, and i am okay.” - Virginia Satir.

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”

“Most everything that you want is just outside your comfort zone.”

“Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.”

“Keep in mind that part of growing up is dealing with difficult issues, and the benefits can be great if you have the courage to ask for help. Human beings are not designed to go through life alone. No one has to bear the burden of tough times all by themselves.”

“Sometimes you dance with a partner, and sometimes you dance alone. But the important thing is to keep dancing.”

“As you take a few minutes each day to quiet your mind, you will discover a nice benefit: your everyday, “ordinary” life will begin to seem far more extraordinary. Little things that

previously went unnoticed will begin to please you. You’ll be more easily satisfied, and happier all around. Rather than focusing on what’s wrong with your life, you’ll find yourself thinking about and more fully enjoying what’s right with your life. The world won’t change, but your perception of it will. You’ll start to notice the

little acts of kindness and caring from other people rather than the negativity and anger.”

“You only have control over three things in your life—the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take (your behavior).”

#books

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istherehopeforthemad · 7 years ago

Text

I can’t quite explain my feelings so I write

I have felt this way for as long as I can remember, but at first it just started as some sort of eating disorder where I thought I was the fattest person in the whole planet, I felt even bigger than the planet, but it has become much more complex. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I already know that I have severe depression and anxiety, but I don’t want to. I am not trying to be sad, I am trying. I really am. I spend money to try to make myself happy and change my hair and put makeup on all of the time and it just DOESNT SEEM TO WORK. I don’t seem to feel at all. I tried reading a book about a girl who had, and may still have depression, and it only “triggered” me further (I hate how mainstream that word has become). I dont think I can ever feel again. I am at that point where I question myself about being happy. Like when I am with my friends and I am having a good time and laughing, I think “Is this what happiness looks like for me? No feeling but emotion being shown? No real, true laughter exploding from within me? I dont understand. Maybe I never will. I have tried therapy and pills (prescribed to me), and they dont seem to help. I have tried to boost my confidence and I just can’t. I don’t understand. I WANT TO BE HAPPY SO BAD I COULD SELL MY SOUL (not really devil please dont read this and think I will because I wont. My soul is the only thing making me have hope okay). I used to really enjoy making myself get all dolled up just to look in the mirror and say “DAYYYYUM YOURE A BAD BITCH”, but I don’t get that anymore, at least not recently. I used to dream about having my own car and having the windows rolled down and jamming to some bops, but now, I have my own car, and I keep the windows rolled down to allow the smoke from my vape to exit the car so my parents wont yell at me for foggy windows. And now, music just sounds like noise. Sure, I will find a fricken jammin song every now and then and play it on repeat for about an hour, but after that hour, it goes into the library with the rest of my songs and is only played on shuffle or when I am sick of listening to music and feel the need to play anything. I know this is long and wow here I go. I ALWAYS say sorry or feel bad for what I say or do, even if its not a bad thing. I can’t seem to help it. Currently, I feel sick to my stomach (I change topics hella fast so be ready) and it’s because I am so fuckin hungry, but I am telling myself that I am not and that I cant be because its late as fuk and, I CANT GAIN WEIGHT HELL TO THE NO CHEERIOS. I hate it. I hate caring what people think or say. I hate caring about shit that doesnt matter. I hate that I say the word hate when I hate nothing. I love everyone and everything in the world, even myself (this is not a self hate post to clarify, even if it sounds like it is, idk maybe it is, idk anymore), but I dont like the way people are treated and ugh. I just hate how depression is a “thing” and people think that if they snap their fingers all of the pain and sadness and anger and numbness and anxiety and hurt will go away. It doesnt, at least not for me.. On the bright side, I love movies. They make my soul and heart SO HAPPY. If I could sit in a theater forever I would. Maybe I should become a movie critic.

New dream job: Become a movie critic and eat free pizza and mac n cheese plzzz (Kraft only).

I don’t even know what I want to do for my future. I always felt that I was destined for something big, but I believe that is my 6 year old, want to be princess and singer, self talking. I’ve always wanted to become anything and everything. EVEN AN EXPLORER WOAH. I literally never go outside... except for when I do and I kind of sort of enjoy it

I wish I had hobbies, or even A hobby. I have none. Maybe writing can become a new one. Even if nobody ever reads this, I can make this something that I share with me, myself, and I to keep forever (or until tumblr shuts down in the year 2300 because it was abused by generation Z) jk) maybe).

I totally just looked up millenials to see if it was the right word to use in that sentence and it wasnt so I changed it. Thats the other thing. I feel like I have to prove that I am smart because I feel like I am not. At least not in schoolish types of things. My mind races a million miles a minute so I change topics easily. Just let it happen. Please.

I always wish and hope and comment that I would like to be rich so that I can help others and be a good person. Which, yes, I can be a good person and help others without money, but I feel that my stress would go away and I would be happy. Although, I know many people would disagree, I dont care. That sounded mean and confident wow. Not at all how I wanted it to come off. It felt kinda good though.

I have a friend named G. I feel like she doesnt understand me. I get lonely when im alone, and irritated to be with people when I am not alone. She is normal. She has no depression. NOT ONE DROP OF DEPRESSION RAIN FALLING ONTO HER. I wonder what that is like.

I could type forever.

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you died?

WOOOOOW that turned dark VERY quickly. I am not going to kill myself, so all of my zero readers, dont fret. I am only wondering.

If anyone does read this, please know that although I am a sad soul, I am caring and kind and would be intruiged to read any comments or messages to brighten my day, or visa versa. I want to make others happy and motivated, even if I cannot do that for myself. Maybe it will make me happy to help others without paying for a meal that they cant afford and being that awkward stranger that offers to pay because I have a job and can and I dont know their lives at home.

I miss J. This guy i think that I like?? I am unsure. Again, no emotions to shine in on this predicament. HMMMM

SOMEONE READ THIS AND LET ME HELP YOU BE HAPPY SO I CAN LIVE THROUGH YOU>

Unless you dont wanna read this... thats cool too!!!!

Anyways... i am gonna reblog some things so my blog isnt naked like a newborn shooting outta their moms wonder hole.

EW IM GROSS

Please please be safe and happy my zero readers. I hope everyone gets food and water and stays sane. You are wonderful

goodnight

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